#Zuko starts the season so stuck in his own pain | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ahsoka-its-all-of-us · 1 year

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Here’s a little list of fics I’ve written (keeps getting updated)

I’ve Loved You Always; I Always Will — Rexsoka series, consisting of short stories that can be read as stand-alones, together making up a comprehensive storyline

- Return Of The Jedi – Of Sorts — Ahsoka contacts the 501st for aid in capturing Maul - The Bantha In The Room — Jesse and Rex talk about Ahsoka during the Siege of Mandalore - A Night Of Peace — Rex looks Ahsoka up at night during the Siege of Mandalore - A Dawn Of Hope — A Night Of Peace from Ahsoka’s perspective - Old Flames Not Forgotten — Ahsoka and Rex look up Lux Bonteri - Broken Off — How Rex and Ahsoka lost contact before Rebels (written for Rexsoka Monthly) - Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep — Rex and Ahsoka discuss their own funerals

The Honourable Ones — Kalluzeb series, consisting of short stories out of one overarching storyline

- Heart Of A Rebel — Kallus's life from early childhood until Bahryn - Cold — an exploration of what transpired while Zeb and Kallus had to wait for someone to rescue them from the Geonosian moon - Boosahn Keeraw — Zeb and Kallus meet again on opposite sides during a rebel mission - Indebted — Kallus’s escape from the Chimaera and subsequent introduction to the Rebellion - Always Wondered Why He’d Let Me Live — Zeb helps Kallus address some issues as he joins the Rebellion - Jedi Magic — Kanan breaks a newly defected Kallus out of his Imperial repression (art 🥹) - We’re Not Droids — Rex tells Kallus about the Battle of Umbara, starting an unexpected friendship - A Spark Of Rebellion — Zeb’s oh moment 😈 - Gift Of My Heart — Zeb impulsively gets Kallus a gift - Laughable — Zeb takes Kallus to have dinner with his family, and Kallus realises something - Pain Of The Past — Kallus and Zeb finally talk about Lasan - Don't Look At My Tortured Soul — Zeb finds out a dark secret about Kallus, and something about himself as well - Can't You Hear Me Scream? — Kallus struggles to stay in control of his Imperial indoctrination as a mission with the Ghost takes him behind Imperial lines - From A Twi'lek's Point Of View — Hera reflects on Zeb and Kallus - Charred Heart — Kallus finally breaks - Choices — Rex and Zeb show Kallus the difference between the Rebellion and the Empire. - CT-ISB-021 — Kallus and Rex bond over clone trooper armour.

Slaves — a ficlet exploring Anakin/Vader’s thoughts about slavery and the clones

Sisi Ni Sawa; A New Way To Go — Kallus muses over something Zeb told him on Bahryn

You Must Have Some Mixed Feelings About Seeing Me — The Zuko/Iroh apology scene, but it's Kallus and Zeb after Zero Hour

For Good — Zeb and Kallus say goodbye before a dangerous mission

Heat Of The Moment — Ahsoka experiences her first heat while stuck with the 501st on a remote moon, and Anakin and Rex have to deal with it

Grand Admiral Thrawn Has Got It Going On — a Thranto song parody

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I frequently post sneak peeks of upcoming stories, tagged as #jenny's sneaks

I also tend to produce a lot of character headcanons (most of which I use myself in my stories), tagged as #jenny's headcanons

Everything I post about the new shows is tagged #the bad batch season 3, #the mandalorian season 3, #ahsoka show or #young jedi adventures so you know what to avoid if you don’t want any spoilers :)

My non-Star Wars-related WIPs can be found here

Also I’m a professional musician, and, among other things, I like making fun arrangements and transcriptions, which can be found on my music blog @transcriptions-of-unknown-music. Suggestions are welcome, especially for my music box series!

I have no talent for visual art whatsoever, but I do have a deranged RedBubble that’s really mostly a joke. My Kallus Fulcrum symbol is on it, though :3

#Star Wars #pinned post #the clone wars #star wars rebels #captain rex #ahsoka tano #Jesse #rexsoka #garazeb orrelios #fives #anakin skywalker #darth vader #alexsandr kallus #kalluzeb #thranto #mitth'raw'nuruodo #hera syndulla

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nothing-more-than-hot-leaf-juice · 4 years

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Zutara. My otp since I first watched as a 10 year old in 2005. Hopefully you'll be kind to them 😉 I'm convinced they'll be cannon in the live action 😅

Alright... *starts digging grave*, I think Katara and Zuko have a wonderful platonic relationship and for them to have a romantic relationship would (1) undermine Zuko’s redemption arc and (2) undermine the found family aspect of their friendship. I don’t have an issue with anyone who ships Zutara and I do not engage in shipping drama, but I think their platonic relationship is too damn important to favor a romantic relationship I don't really think has chemistry.

Personally, I have never gotten romantic vibes from them like... at all? I think the progression of their friendship was important in terms of the show’s themes of forgiving those who deserve it and finding support in people you least expect, but I just don’t get chemistry from them. I’ve always been a Kataang fan but how I feel about Zutara has nothing to do with that. Avatar is one of those shows where I would have been totally fine with it ending with no romantic pairings because the found family aspect of it is so much more powerful.

If anyone has spent 5 seconds on my blog, you know that Zuko is my favorite character and I think he deserves nothing but love and support after all the shit he went through. But a big aspect of why I care about him as a character is that he put the work in to make amends. He didn’t just show up one day saying “I’ve seen the error of my ways, sorry for all the stuff I did, I’m good now” and that was that. He had to work for forgiveness and he did it because he realized the fire nation was wrong, his father was wrong, and he was wrong. His decision to switch sides had nothing to do with any connection with the gaang because he didn’t really know them. His decision to switch sides stemmed from 3 very important things:

(1) He felt guilty not for betraying Aang and Katara in Ba Sing Se, but Iroh. He realized his uncle was the person who had given him unconditional love while Azula and Ozai’s “love” for him was entirely dependent on his ability to provide them results. From this guilt, he was able to realize that his uncle had made the right decision in siding with the Avatar and more importantly, that Ozai was wrong and that all the abuse he endured under him was undeserved.

(2) His experiences in the Earth Kingdom as a refugee. This post explains it really well, but Zuko’s realization that everything he’s believed about the Fire Nation has been wrong is rooted in his moment of empathy with Song and her matching burn scar, his empathy with Lee who lost his brother like Zuko lost Lu Ten, his empathy with Jet who lost his way going to extremes for a cause, and, yes, his empathy with Katara who’s mother was taken from her by the Fire Nation like his was. The reason he switches sides is because after all of those experiences, he can no longer be callous or unfeeling towards the Earth Kingdom like his father or sister. The people of the Earth Kingdom either empathized with him for the pain he went through and appreciated him for his desire to help the helpless (Song, Lee, Jet) or feared and hated him for being part of a country that caused their suffering (Lee, Lee’s mom, Jet, Katara). Throughout season 2, Zuko realized the extent of what the war meant for the other side.

(3) The realization of the extents his father would go to and the truth about Ozai’s amorality. This point is kind of just the culmination of everything in the last two points, but all that set up comes to fruition when Zuko attends the war meeting where Ozai decides to use Sozin’s Comet to commit genocide. By this point he’s racked with guilt over what he did to Iroh, he’s empathized with people who have suffered and is coming to terms with the fact that it’s not only the people of the earth kingdom that have unnecessarily suffered because of Ozai, but him as well. In that meeting, he expresses adoration for the Earth Kingdom being proud and strong and Ozai’s response is to burn it to the ground. It’s the same treatment he gave Zuko at the Agni Kai when he stuck to his morals and refused to fight and was met with abject cruelty. At that meeting, Zuko realizes that his father is wrong and that he was always wrong. He realizes that millions of people will suffer at the hands of this man who is so incredibly wrong and lacking in empathy.

SO, keeping all that in mind. His redemption arc doesn’t stop when he switches sides, it keeps going as he makes individual amends with Aang, Sokka, and Katara. It keeps going as he learns from the dragons, as he chooses what he believes in over his girlfriend, as he risks his life to protect the gaang from Azula, and as he tries to help Aang, Sokka, and Katara find emotional closure in different aspects. He helps Aang overcome his fear of firebending. He helps Sokka regain his honor. And he helps Katara address her grief regarding her mother’s death. These four episodes are some of the best in the series because it’s not just Zuko working to make amends because he wants them to trust him, but it’s him empathizing with their trauma, their guilt, and their fear of failure because he’s been there.

Alright, that’s a whole essay regarding why Zuko’s redemption arc works, now what does this have to do with Zutara? Here’s the deal: if any aspect of Zuko’s decisions for his redemption were influenced by romantic attraction to Katara, it would undermine the meaning of his choices for him. He made the choices to be better because he empathized with a nation of people who needlessly suffered. He made the choices to be better because he learned to cut himself off from the need to please his abusive father and accept the unconditional love of his uncle. His choice to help Katara find her mother’s murderer stemmed from empathy and his desire to be better than the people who hurt him and hurt others. The reason Katara’s resentment towards him hurt him so much was because he was trying so hard to be better than the people that were feared and hated. Katara treated him like Lee’s mom and Jet did when they realized he was a firebender (that being said, Katara was justified since Zuko’s decision to side with Azula resulted in the fall of Ba Sing Se and nearly resulted in Aang’s death), and he didn’t want to be that person. He didn’t want to be hated or feared anymore and he was willing to do anything to move past being viewed like that. So Katara’s decision to finally forgive him? It’s the point where she realizes he’s able to empathize with her over his mother’s death where her mother’s killer could not. She realized that he was different and had changed because he put the work in. And that’s huge for his redemption, not for any kind of forming relationship because that’s not the point.

Now, concerning the whole found-family aspect I love so much? Zutara as a romantic pairing would undermine the beauty of Zuko’s ability to find a loving, supportive group of people that he was missing his entire life. Katara does not work as a romantic partner for Zuko because she works as his replacement sister. The fact is that Zuko’s actual family experience was founded on fear and not love, but the idea of “usefulness”. Zuko and Azula were only valued by Ozai so much as they were useful to him, which is why he favored (not loved) Azula, she was useful to him and Zuko wasn’t until he “slayed the Avatar”. Iroh (and Ursa for a time) was the only person who showed him unconditional love and support, but that wasn’t enough to snap him out of the need to please Ozai. Zuko rooted his entire self worth in what his family thought of him and engaged in very self-destructive behavior throughout season 1 to prove himself because he “didn’t want [his] father to think [he was] worthless”. Even throughout season 3, he still thinks that his uncle’s love for him is conditional (”my uncle hates me I I know it”) until he’s proven otherwise because that’s what he’s been taught. So him joining the gaang, that’s the first time in his life he’s really met with the concept of people liking him for himself, not for his ability to be useful (his family, Jet) or because they think he’s someone he’s not (Song, Lee, Jin). He’s met with friendship: people making fun of him in a playful way instead of tearing down his insecurities and vulnerabilities (”mind if I watch you too jerks do your jerkbending?” “so all we need to do is make Zuko angry, that should be easy enough”, “look, it’s baby Zuko!”, “actually I think [the play portrayal] is pretty spot-on”), people trying to help him fix his problems (”you need to go back to the original source”) instead of making him feel weak for not being able to solve those problems in the first place, and showing him express appreciation and encouragement (”you’re pretty smart”, “to Zuko, who knew after all the times he tried to snuff us out, today he’d be our hero”, “I’m going with Zuko!”). And that’s so. Damn. Important for his ability to heal after how he was treated for his entire life. He’s introduced to the idea that people want him to be around and they want to include him in their circle for being him. Up until the finale, he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to reconcile with Iroh or if Iroh will accept his forgiveness, but these people have given him a home in their group and he’s not afraid or insecure around a group of people for the first time in his life.

And that’s why Katara has to be the one to defeat Azula: because Azula couldn’t be the sister Zuko had and Katara could be. It’s a tragedy that Zuko and Azula were driven apart by Ozai pitting them against each other, the corruption of firebending throughout the ages so it’s regarded for its power rather than its energy, and Azula’s own insecurities and fears of losing power because, like Zuko once did, she only considers herself to be worth anything so long as she’s better than him. The abuse he endured had an effect on her to because so long as she saw that Ozai’s “love” for Zuko was conditional, that meant that his “love” for her was conditional as well (”you can’t treat me like Zuko!”). Zuko and Azula could never support each other and they could never trust each other in the way that Sokka and Katara could. They wouldn’t sacrifice anything for each other because they were conditioned to survive, to leave behind the lesser sibling in order to get ahead. But at the Agni Kai, Zuko jumps in front of the lighting for Katara because unlike Azula, she has supported him since she forgave him and is there to back him up. She thinks he can be Firelord and she thought his uncle could forgive him in a way that Azula just never could. And that’s why Katara has to be the one to defeat Azula. Not because of any romantic attraction for Zuko, but because he’s protected Aang and Sokka and her and Toph and their little found family. It’s because he’s one of them. So in that moment where Azula is defeated, screaming and sobbing because she’s lost and that means that she’s the weaker sibling, she’s gone and it’s tragic. Zuko looks upon her and he wishes it didn’t have to be like this, but it is and it’s tragic. It didn’t have to be how it was but it did and it was awful and Azula is left broken, hating her brother with murderous fury. But he’s not alone.

He has a new sister who will protect him and fight for him when he’s lost his own.

(addition: I want to make it clear that this does not mean I think Azula is irredeemable. Her actions and outlook are 100% a product of Ozai’s abuse, as I explained. I do not think that’s she’s beyond redemption, but by the finale she was still a villain and her goal was still to kill her brother so she could be Firelord. That’s not to say that she couldn’t have eventually healed and been able to reconcile with him, but by the final Agni Kai that’s not where their relationship was. The fact that she and Zuko had a toxic relationship was not her fault, but they still had a toxic relationship built on distrust and competition where Zuko and Katara’s friendship was built on support and protection. I am entirely sympathetic towards Azula, but just because she was redeemable doesn’t mean she was redeemed and just because there was potential for her and Zuko to eventually have a better relationship doesn’t mean that they did by the end of the series.)

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turtle-paced · 3 years

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A:tLA Re-Watch: Fine-Toothed Comb Edition

Well, not quite on the long weekend, but here’s the recap anyway.

Book 1, Chapter 6 - Imprisoned

(0:55) Previously, on Avatar, the Water Tribes know what it’s like to be stuck at the ass end of the world slowly dying, but Katara’s hope is actually inspiring and she and Sokka found the Avatar for a reason. It’s going to be a Katara-centric episode. The group is still heading to the North Pole, while Zuko continues chasing them.

(1:45) We’re out of the snow! It’s still winter (seeing as the next episode is titled ‘The Winter Solstice’), but yeah. No snow. At the very least, this area’s warm enough that snow isn’t an all-winter condition.

(2:02) This is what I mean by the show bringing up supplies when they’re an issue. Note that Sokka doesn’t actually know what any of these nuts are. He hasn’t spent enough time in the Earth Kingdom to know what’s edible.

(2:48) The character contrast in two nutshells. Aang and Katara run towards the loud booming noises in the forest, Sokka advises hanging back (but goes with the majority). Then, when they find Haru, Aang and Katara want to make friends, but Sokka says he looks dangerous so they should be cautious. It’s a joke, mostly at Sokka’s expense, but it’s also consistent characterisation that helps give Sokka an important role in the team even when he’s outshone by ridiculous amounts in the direct combat department. He thinks very differently in some ways to his sister and his friends. This is sometimes unhelpful and sometimes downright necessary for the characters collectively to succeed. Today is an unhelpful day.

(2:56) Upon seeing Katara, the practicing earthbender drops everything and runs, going so far as to block pursuit. No questions, no chances, just immediate flight. Weird reaction, hey?

(3:06) Aang says that Haru must be running somewhere. Like a village. Which should have a market. Like I said back in episode one, every main character is smart. Showing it in these tiny, low-stakes, incidental conversations makes it believeable when they do big, dramatic smart things.

(3:21) Pan over this Earth Kingdom village. It’s pretty different to Kyoshi Island, and honestly looks a fair bit more prosperous. Earthbending means this village has got a very neat-looking mine and that building a wall around town isn’t a big deal. Interestingly, most building here are made of wood, or at least significantly involve wood in their construction (lintels, structural beams, doors, floors, I think even the rooftops).

(3:40) We get Haru’s name here as Katara spots him and follows him into his mother’s store.

(3:55) As soon as Aang says ‘earthbending’, Haru’s mother slams the doors and windows closed. Until now, the gAang has only travelled in free territory. Scared, paranoid territory, but free territory. This episode is a quick and brutal look at life in an occupied Earth Kingdom village. There’s a lot of fear here.

(4:09) Right on cue, Fire Nation soldiers drop by. The taxes they’re collecting are extortionate and their schedule for payment is arbitrary. The occupying force is taking financially and using this as a terror tactic. This becomes more explicit as the soldier says “we wouldn’t want an accident, would we?” and creates a fireball in his hands.

(4:58) Love the worldbuilding on this show. Why’s the Fire Nation here? Sokka asks, and Haru’s mother has an answer. Turns out all those coal-fired ships the Fire Nation uses? They need coal. The village is being exploited for its natural resources, too.

(5:09) Katara asks why Haru doesn’t help fight back, as he so clearly wants to. Especially since it means not bending, which she says is part of who she is. Haru’s mother explains that Haru would be arrested and taken from the village for earthbending (hold on to the information that the walls and mine are clearly products of earthbending), just like Haru’s father was. So let’s add some deeply personal and cultural oppression to the list of things going on here.

It’s also a tough lesson that resisting the Fire Nation in places like this isn’t as simple as saying “fight back.” There are serious risks involved.

(5:43) More panning over Earth Kingdom scenery. Vegetable patches and a silo can be seen. Little visual touches to remind the viewer that these background characters were in this place before the story arrived there, and will continue on offscreen once the story leaves. It helps make the world feel real.

(6:08) Katara and Haru go off and bond. Katara apologises for accidentally bringing up any hurt related to Haru’s father, ‘cause she’s a good, considerate person.

(6:18) Haru tells Katara how brave his father was to resist the Fire Nation invasion, against what odds. After which Haru’s father was taken away, and his family haven’t seen him since. The only way Haru can feel close to his father is by practicing earthbending, which also puts him in danger.

The entire backstory here gets into the big issues - invasion, mass internment, cultural oppression - by linking it with the much smaller slice of life. Just Haru, missing his father.

(6:48) Katara gives the exposition on her necklace, the last memento she has of her mother. The conversation leaves off pretty brutally as well. “It’s not enough, is it?” “No.” And that’s it. There’s only acknowledgement of their mutual pains, not closure. There’s not enough. There’s a hole there that cannot be filled.

(7:05) As Katara and Haru head back, they pass the mine collapsing. What happens when an earthbender-produced mine has to operate without earthbenders? It seems very likely to me that earthbending is a major part of mining safety and maintenance in Avatar world, and the removal of earthbenders from town would logically result in more mine collapses and accidents.

(7:32) Haru bravely earthbends to rescue the old man from the mine collapse.

(7:59) One of the really nice things about Aang? He’s impressed by Katara’s accomplishments, even one as small as inspiring Haru to his own little rebellion.

(8:12) Sokka brings up that point from back in 1.04 that if they hang around a village (especially an occupied village) they’re going to be in trouble. They have to keep moving. Continuity! Learning the lessons of previous episodes!

(8:41) Fire Nation soldiers show up in the dead of night to arrest Haru for earthbending, on the information of the old Earth Kingdom man Haru saved. Informants and midnight arrests - it’s a freaking scary depiction of life under occupation. Not to mention the moral texture it brings to the series. The Fire Nation is inarguably wrong and oppressive. But that doesn’t make the people of the Earth Kingdom saints. Individuals have a range of responses to the Fire Nation, and here we see it’s up to and including willing collaboration with their oppressors. We’re never going to see this old man again. He never gets any on-screen comeuppance. He never gets told he was wrong. This is just a lesson for the main characters.

The show’s worked up to this idea, with the hostility of the Kyoshi Islanders and Bumi placing the gAang under arrest. Now it’s serious. The characters can’t assume that Earth Kingdom people will be on their side.

And this ultimately leads up to the point that this conflict isn’t about one nation being inherently bad and the others being inherently good.

(8:56) Love to see some mundane uses of bending - in this case, Katara doesn’t bother actually pumping water, she just yanks it out of the pump.

(9:23) And a nice thing about Sokka - when he sees Katara is upset, he moves to comfort her physically. However, also notice what Sokka actually says. Part of his idea of comforting Katara is working on solutions to the external problem, working out what happened and what they might be able to do about it. It’s very pragmatic and not very touchy-feely. While it comes with the best of intentions, and Katara doesn’t even have to ask for Sokka’s support and assistance, you can see where Katara might want a friend who’s a little more emotionally supportive. Different people fill different roles.

(9:31) But on to the main event! Katara’s got a plan to break Haru out of Fire Nation prison. Thus far Katara’s been strong and capable, and particularly impressive in how she’s dealt with a grief-stricken Aang. This marks her first opportunity to take up the foremost heroic role in an episode. She’s making the plans, she’s driving the action, she’s saving the day. It starts with her getting arrested for earthbending.

(9:49) A team plan! Katara had the basic idea of using airbending to simulate earthbending, but it looks to me like Sokka did the actual engineering of finding the vents that connect, while Aang’s going to be doing the actual bending. This is also a classic example of how Sokka’s character development is going to go over the course of the series and the reason he’s such an important part of the team. He puts the details into the big ideas.

(9:55) And here’s Aang’s fun-loving, lighthearted nature shown as a flaw rather than a virtue (in a fairly comedic, low-ish stakes kind of way) before the serious long-term implications become most apparent in season three. He’s goofing off and not taking responsibility for his part in this plan. Later, when Aang doesn’t want to find a firebending teacher and doesn’t want to think about how he’s planning to deal with Ozai, that’s perfectly believeable. We’ve seen him skip out on small details, so we can believe Aang would skip out on the big ones.

Furthermore, in character and plot terms, the character trait that’s a minor hiccup in the plan this episode causes serious problems later, and yet remains an important strength in other episodes (and across those episodes in how Aang actually keeps moving forward). There’s nuance there in Aang’s character, and nuance in the plots that recognise that things aren’t usually as simple as ‘this character trait good, that character trait bad’.

(10:18) This entire scene gives me the giggles so bad, starting with this Fire Nation soldier’s bemused reaction. Earthbending style.

(11:17) The group exchanges a bunch of anxious looks. Despite the comic nature of the faked fight, they did just arrange for Katara to get arrested by the Fire Nation and hauled off to a prison for dissidents. This is serious stuff.

(11:30) Cut to a port, and Katara on a boat. Nobody seems surprised that the prison is offshore.

(12:15) Cameo from George Takei here, hamming it up.

(12:41) The faux affability of the welcoming is shown by the Warden’s willingness to use fire on a prisoner when the prisoner simply coughs. Followed by condemning the man to a week of solitary imprisonment. Also worth noting that the Warden is completely unfazed by the presence of a young teenager amongst the prisoners.

(13:05) The Warden helpfully points out that the rig is made entirely of metal, which earthbenders cannot affect with their powers. (At this point in the series.) It brings a pretty significant limitation of earthbending to the table in a series set just as their world’s industrial revolution is going global.

It’s also a good indication of how hard imprisoning a bender is. This rig must be absolutely brutal to live on, for the guards as well as the prisoners. It couldn’t have been cheap to build, either. I’ll come back to the topic of criminal justice and bending ability later in the series, but for now just keep in mind that prison for benders a) requires cruel conditions and b) is logistically burdensome to say the least.

(13:16) The Warden also describes earthbending as ‘brutish savagery’, so here’s some fire supremacy for you all! Again, the big thing - the Fire Nation taking over the world and thinking that’s okay - is reflected in the little thing, a Fire Nation character casually dismisssing any worth in earthbending (when we just a few minutes ago heard Haru speak about how important it was to his family bonds).

(13:47) Katara looks over the prisoners and sees a lot of people in absolute despair. Keep an eye out for female prisoners. I keep raising this background detail thing because it tells you how the writers and animators are thinking about the “normal” state of the world.

(13:52) A nice touch from a design standpoint is that Haru is about the only person wearing a deep, living green, rather than the prisoner brown/grey/very dried-out green combination.

(14:11) Haru did at least succeed in finding his father, Tyro.

(14:29) This exchange does nicely to set up Tyro as a kind individual whose sense of humour has not been totally eradicated by the situation he’s in.

(14:52) Tyro tells Katara that there’s no escape plan, only a survival plan.

(14:58) There are some female prisoners in this shot! Which is evidence of female earthbenders, even though we still don’t see very many in the rest of the series.

(15:14) Much like in town, Katara is reminded that things aren’t necessarily so simple as “fight back”. She’s talking to people who have been dealing with the Fire Nation, unsuccessfully, for years. What does fighting back look like to these people, after all this time? What do they stand to lose?

(15:21) I do love this exchange. Tyro says, “I’m sorry, but we’re powerless,” and Katara replies, “We’ll see about that.” What she wants and what she aims to achieve is to give the prisoners here their power back. She’s trying to help them to help themselves. Even though this speech doesn’t work. Very eloquent for an impromptu speech, too.

(16:44) Aang and Sokka arrive to provide backup.

(17:01) Katara refuses to leave the prison until she’s accomplished her objective. She emphasises that it’s the people she’s not giving up on. For all her character development over the series, this trait stays exactly the same, arguably the very core of her character.

(17:30) We get the split in group opinion again. Katara and Aang want to stay and help, Sokka wants to leave. Outvoted, and aware that he’s not going to overcome Katara’s stubbornness on this point, Sokka says they’d better hide.

(17:48) Two guards report an Appa sighting to the Warden. This is actually a really good drawback to the convenience of having a flying bison, narratively - he’s just not all that inconspicuous.

(18:06) The Warden throws a man overboard for questioning whether the difference between a flying bison or a flying buffalo is all that pertinent. Love this show. I’m also getting serious “do the tides command this ship?” vibe. Only less competent. Though the Warden does have the competence to get the core point that there’s something amiss, and orders a full search of the rig.

(18:42) Aang wishes he knew how to make a hurricane, because then the Warden would run away and the party could just take his keys. Now this is what people mean when they call Aang naive. Note that this wishful thinking from Aang doesn’t involve direct confrontation with the Warden. He wants the problem to go away. It’s not an issue with Aang’s intellect, it’s an issue with Aang’s psychology.

(18:53) Sokka wants to give the earthbenders some literal power. Some literal substance they can bend so that they can free themselves.

(19:08) It’s Aang who points out that earthbenders are able to bend coal, and the Fire Nation keeps coal on the rig. Naive, not stupid!

(19:22) Like I said, Sokka doesn’t often lead the way or deal with the party’s biggest ideas, but he is absolutely unmatched when it comes to making their goals into workable plans. As Katara asks Sokka “are you sure this is going to work?” we can be sure that the details here were Sokka’s doing. Moreover, he’s applied knowledge of vents he picked up earlier in the episode.

It’s also worth noting that Sokka was against staying to rescue the earthbenders and still put his all into coming up with a plan once he was outvoted. He works with Katara and Aang in good faith so that the disagreement doesn’t wreck their teamwork.

(20:02) Once again, Aang provides the muscle as he airbends some staggering quantities of coal onto the deck.

(20:22) Again, quite realistically, the earthbenders are hesitant to take the opportunity Katara’s just provided. The Warden underlines the point that it’s Katara’s inspirational words versus years of oppression and despair. Sure, that is the problem here. Katara tries, and she’s mocked by the villain for trying.

(20:59) But as the lump of coal crashes into the back of the Warden’s head, the show says that Katara was right and the Warden was wrong. Katara’s faith was not misplaced and her words and actions did make a difference here. Even if it sounded silly to start with.

(21:09) Love that the coal actually ignites when hit by fireblasts.

(21:25) Yes, we did see a female earthbender prisoner fighting back there! And I’m still pretty sure that this is one of the vanishingly few occasions we’ll see female earthbenders active in the background of the series.

(21:57) The earthbenders prioritise getting off the rig.

(22:05) Here’s Katara again. This is the first we see her actively participating in this skirmish. She hasn’t actually done much fighting - the point here was always what she could do to empower others to fight. She’s still got her necklace at this point. Notice also Aang’s creative use of airbending to propel small pieces of coal at the Fire Nation soldiers.

(22:33) The earthbenders steal a Fire Nation ship and head back to the mainland. Katara’s lost her necklace in this shot. Haru and Tyro spell out the effect of Katara’s actions.

(23:04) Tyro declares his intention to take back all their villages, which tells us that the prisoners were not from just one place. They must have been brought in from several towns and villages in the general area. Looks like the gAang’s leaving some insurgents behind them, right in Ozai’s coal supply.

(23:26) Haru thanks Katara for her help with that small thing of returning his dad for him, and wishes he could do the same for her. She also realises that she’s lost her mother’s necklace at this point.

(23:35) And who should pick it up but Zuko, who we haven’t seen for almost two whole episodes. Presumably he’s followed a report of Avatar-based shenanigans, and he’s got real sharp eyes to pick out the one Water Tribe thing in all this.

#a:tla #fine toothed comb edition

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cottage-babe · 4 years

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Burning Scars part IX

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Masterlist

mad zuko >:(

Summary: Y/n, a werewolf from a hidden village, comes across Zuko and Iroh after being exiled. How has fate intertwined the wolf into the avatar’s destiny?

***** This chapter takes place on Season 2 Episode 15 (thats right, Tales of Ba Sing Se time)*****

___

“Hey, let me get that for you!”

Y/n brushed past Zuko and grabbed the hot teapot before his hands could reach it. She hurried over to the the table he was giving the tea to and poured it into the customer’s cup. They thanked her and she quickly went back to the tea station to return the pot.

“Whew,” She sighed, “today’s been busy, huh?”

Zuko glared at the girl and roughly pulled the teapot out of her hands.

“I don’t know, maybe if you actually let me do anything then I’d be able to tell.”

He walked over to a table requesting a refill angrily.

Y/n pouted and looked over to him.

Okay, maybe she’s been a little bit overboard lately. For the entire day, Y/n had been helping Zuko out a lot. And by ‘a lot,’ she meant with everything. A table on his side of the room requested a napkin? She’s right there behind him handing him 20 cloths. A kid dropped a cup on accident? She’s already got a broom and is pushing Zuko away from the glass shards. A new customer ordered a fresh cup of tea? There’s no way Zuko’s getting to the pot first.

The girl knew that he was getting annoyed with her antics, but she physically couldn’t stop herself.

Pao had opened the shop up a couple days after the Jet incident. He needed time to replace the broken tables, cups, teapots; almost everything. It was a good thing he didn’t blame Zuko for the mess or else he would be having a ton of money pulled out of his paycheck.

On the bright side, everything looked a lot better than before. There were no more damaged chairs and chipped cups; everything was new. It must’ve been the insane amounts of cash that Iroh was making for the owner that allowed these smoothly painted furniture.

Speaking of which, Zuko was carrying a couple cups already, so he wouldn’t mind if she cleaned up the tables on his side, right?

Slowly, to avoid his glare, she sneaked around while his front was turned toward the tea table. He was distracted pouring some tea (wait, the pot’s too hot, I should be the one doing that!) so she took advantage and quickly gathered up the empty, used cups. There had been a rather large family at this table, so she had to balance a lot on top of each other. Once they were balanced in her hands, she carefully took a step back to see if anything would topple over. When nothing moved, she turned around gracefully and began her way over to the kitchens.

Only, it wasn’t as gracefully as she imagined.

Zuko had somehow made it behind her with the cups of tea he was delivering. Whether or not her saw her, she wasn’t sure, but when she quickly turned, their bodies smashed into each other.

The cups in her hand toppled down and shattered against the floor. The piping hot tea in the boys grasps fell too, but not before spilling itself all over Zuko.

He hissed in pain and tried to wipe the hot water away with his hands, but only burned his hands in the process.

Y/n just stood there, struck with fear.

“I-I can-just let me-”

“No!” He yelled and pushed her helping hands away from his body. “You’ve done enough!”

She took a step away and her eyes began to tear up. Spirits, when did I get so emotional?

Y/n ruffled around the pockets of her apron and pulled out a dishrag. “I can help clean this up, I’m sorry.”

Zuko roughly grabbed the rag out of her grasps and shook his head. “No, Just go on break or something.”

He wants me to leave?

Instead of fighting it, Y/n just nodded her head and took a couple steps back. She wanted to help, honestly, but she’s starting to learn that one of the ways to diffuse a situation with Zuko is to let it be. If he says something, he means it.

Y/n took off her apron and walked out the front door. She cringed as she saw the amount of people in the shop watching their argument; surprised looks on their faces. They probably weren’t expecting something like this at such a highly recommended shop.

When she finally made it away from prying eyes, she decided not to go too far. She found a cluster of empty crates outside the shop and sat down, defeated.

Spirits, she really wished that Iroh was here right now.

The man had requested a day off on this specific day and didn’t tell the teens the reason why. When they asked, he just said that he was old and needed a break every once in a while. Zuko seemed to believe it, but something seemed off to the werewolf.

Despite her wariness, she left for work in the afternoon with Zuko and hugged him goodbye. There hasn’t been many days where they were separate.

The shop was running semi-smoothly with his absence. She was in charge of making the tea; Pao and Zuko honestly didn’t know how. She wasn’t the best at it, but if Iroh’s secret ingredient truly was ‘love,’ then the tea must taste fine (she may or may not be kissing the side of the teapot before every batch is made, but she’d never tell).

“Y/n, hey!”

Y/n looked up in surprise. She didn’t know a lot of people in Ba Sing Se; only her neighbors and her roommates. And of course Jet, but he was probably in jail right now. Wait, now that she thinks about it...

“Smellerbee? Longshot?”

They walked up to her and smiled; well, Smellerbee did, but the stoic expression remained on the other’s face.

“I know it’s been a while, but are you free to talk right now?” Smellerbee asked while scratching the back of her head.

Y/n hesitated and almost said that she needed to head back in right now. She really didn’t want to talk to these two; they were in the same group as Jet, so who’s to say that they didn’t share his beliefs? Instead, she pushed back her mistrust and gestured toward the wooden boxes surrounding her. Maybe she’ll listen to what they have to say, just a little bit.

The two sat down beside each other and glanced at one another. One thing Y/n has learned from the hours they hung out on the ferry was that Longshot spoke through his facial expressions. She had never heard him speak aloud, yet his friends always knew what he was thinking. They were probably having an entire conversation right now while Y/n sat silently, observing the two.

Finally, Smellerbee looked back at Y/n and sighed.

“We’re really sorry for what Jet did to you and your friends. We tried to stop him, honestly, but he never listened.”

Oh.

That was the only thing that she could think for a moment. It was a short apology, but it held so much information. Y/n knew that she had trusted the girl every since she met her; Smellerbee reminded her so much of Ayano, her sister. They both shared this determined, badass characteristic to them that just made Y/n feel so protected.

Plus, when she thought about it, Jet had said things like ‘I know what you are!’ but never ‘We know!’ Maybe they were telling the truth and weren’t a part of Jet’s wildly correct beliefs.

Y/n nodded her head, “Do you know how long he was following us?”

“S-since we all made it to Ba Sing Se.” The girl hung her head shamefully.

Really? For that long?

“Wow...” She paused and shivered, “It feels weird knowing that he’s always been there.”

“I know, and we’re really sorry.” Smellerbee looked up at her once again. “We should’ve done more when we figure out what he was up to.”

Y/n’s heart sunk at the guilt that seeped through the girl. It almost reminded her of herself.

“Trust me, I kinda feel the same.” When both of the teens across from her looked at her in confusion, she elaborated on her words. “While Lee was fighting Jet, I just stood there doing nothing; I felt so helpless.”

Y/n didn’t trust her human body the same way she did with her werewolf skin. This body was just so fragile. She was positively sure that she didn’t have the same strength that she normally did and it bothered her so much. What if something like that happened again and Zuko couldn’t protect himself, could she protect her new family? The answer scared her.

Then, she felt a comforting hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Longshot looking at her purposefully.

She almost looked away, embarrassed that she couldn’t understand what he was ‘saying,’ but paused when the meaning finally filtered through. Even if you tried, there’s nothing you could have done.

“I-I guess you’re right.” Y/n said quietly.

That was... weird, right?

They talked for a bit more after that before Y/n’s break ended. She waved them goodbye and stepped back into the her most recent issue, Zuko. She backed off for the rest of the day; only staying in her section of the shop and not even looking at Zuko’s side.

And the boy didn’t even bother to give her a couple words.

He was silent the whole time, only ever answering to Pao or a customer. Normally, he would talk to her a bit to pass the time, but he was giving her the complete silent treatment.

Well he is mad at you, dummy.

Y/n just knew that when the end of the day came, they would be in the awkwardest silence; if he even decided to walk with her.

To her own surprise, he did wait for her to clock out before starting the journey home. And he even decided to walk beside her, but not before sending her a glare, of course. Still, it made her heart flutter a bit.

Y/n was hyper-aware that night, she didn’t know why. For some reason, her eyes caught glimpses of shadows bouncing around on the rooftops, but she brushed it off as a play of the light. Soon, however, her ears picked up on something loud running around the alley they were going to cross.

“Watch out!” She yelled and stuck her arms out to stop Zuko from moving.

The boy’s eyes widened and he instinctively took a stance to attack. He definitely trusted her in situations like this.

The werewolf wasn’t sure what she was hearing since it was happening so fast. Was it a person? Jet? A wild animal? She wasn’t sure.

Then, a large shadow crept up the side of the building. It stretched up, up, up until it towered over the two teens. It was rare that Y/n found a creature bigger than her.

Then.... a small elephant-rat jumped out and dashed across their path, jumping into a nearby trashcan. Oh.

Y/n relaxed and let out a breath at the ugly animal, but Zuko didn’t quite have the same reaction.

“What is up with you, Y/n, seriously?” The boy raised his voice.

The girl shrunk down a bit, not prepared for his outburst. She was going to reply, but he beat her to it.

“You’ve been following me around all day, annoying the crap out of me and now this?”

Y/n looked around and saw that bystanders were listening in on them. “Can’t we just talk about this later? There’s people staring...”

“Let them stare, then! Why have you been acting so weird?” Zuko grasped her arm to stop her from walking.

“Let me go! You really wanna know why?” Do I even know the answer to that? “I’m just trying to help you! After what happened with Jet, I realized that I’m useless like this. You guy’s keep me around for spirits-know-why; I know when I’m being a burden. But since you wanna be so pissy about it, I’ll leave you alone.”

And with that, Y/n turned on her heel and continued the walk home in a faster pace. The crowd around them watched her go before continuing on their nightly strolls, but not before one kid stuck his tongue out at Zuko and said ‘meanie!”

Zuko stood there for a moment, then sighed and followed Y/n.

“Y/n, slow down.”

The girl didn’t even hesitate when she heard his voice, just continued her pace until she saw the entrance to their apartment. She only slowed once she realized that Zuko held their key.

The boy sped up once he saw her slow down and grasped her arm once again. She just glared at him and didn’t let it soften when she saw the guilty look on his face.

“Listen... I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

She just scoffed and turned toward the door, waiting for him to unlock it.

“You’re not a burden, Y/n. We’d... never think of you that way. I’d never think of you that way. Despite what I thought at first, we’re in this together now, all the way.”

She turned her head even further away from him, not wanting him to see her composure breaking. She barely even knew that she needed to hear this until those few moments ago.

“And about today; you don’t need to prove your worth to us, we already -er- love... you.”

She knew that it was difficult for him to say that, she could hear it in his voice. Despite that, Y/n turned and captured him in a tight hug. It’s been so long since she’d heard someone say that they loved her.

“I love you guys too.” She spoke into his chest. “You guys are like family to me.”

Zuko just laughed dryly and patted her head.

“Oh! Am I interrupting something?”

The two looked to the side to see Iroh, both teens moving apart.

“No! Uh, we just got home.” Y/n said awkwardly. “How was you’re day off?”

“Relaxing.” He answered before wiggling the bag on his wrist around. “And I bought gifts!”

They unlocked their door and entered their house.

“Uncle,” Zuko groaned. “We don’t have enough money for gifts.”

Iroh ignored his nephew and took the items out of his cloth bag. There were two boxes wrapped up neatly in paper; one was bigger than the other. The uncle grabbed the larger of the two and handed it to Zuko.

The teen unwrapped it unenthusiastically and revealed his gift with the same attitude. “Wow, a knife sharpener.”

“For your swords!” He replied happily before grabbing the smaller item. “And this is for you.”

Y/n grabbed the small box and just stared at it for a moment. She knew that whatever was inside would make her incredibly happy, no matter what it was. Her parents had never been the gift-giving type growing up. They only cared for making their kids the best and most knowledgeable wolves in their pack. Wisdom was their only gift.

So Y/n unwrapped it slowly and uncovered a small blue box. When she opened it, a jeweled flower shined back at her.

“Oh Iroh, it’s beautiful!” The werewolf replied as she pulled it from the box and revealed a dainty chain.

“Yes, well, since Zuko won’t let me spoil him anymore, you’re next on the list!”

Iroh helped her put the necklace around her neck and she looked at a nearby mirror to see the jewelry on her neck. Y/n smiled brightly before pulling Iroh into a heartwarming hug,

Maybe it wasn’t ideal at first, but her new family was amazing.

___

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Masterlist

Taglist: @bucky-blogs @hopefuloperaangelnerd @simplyfandomish @oddlypointlessescapes @lozzybowe @woohoney @whalerus @cece-lives-here @bwndito @kiaoizz @lrmilikepie @ohmigooosh

#zuko x reader #zuko #atla #avatar

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myfandomrambles · 4 years

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Azula Character Analysis

Born a princess with a high position

Was favored by her father and second in her mother's eyes

Deeply skilled bender from a young age

Attended the royal girl Fier Nation academy and had private tutors

Was around severe abuse emotional and occasionally physical

Abandoned by mother due to political intrigue which affected her

Aware of her parents' murder of her grandfather

Rose to crown princess after her father coronation and brother banishment which she watched

Was used as a weapon by her father against her uncle and bother by age 14

Had a few friends who became partners in hunting the avatar her brother

Was a skilled tactician able to infiltrate the heart of the earth kingdom

Overthrow the earth king

Nearly killed the avatar

Achieved high status for this but shared it with her brother is a skilled protective manner

Had a tumultuous relationship with her brother

Betrayed by her friends

Attempted to kill her brother

Became fire lord but felt rejected through this as she was unable to claim victory along with her father

Suffered a mental health breakdown

Was beaten by Zuko & katara in an Agni Kai losing her status

Overview:

Azula is a complex character who is gifted, clever, beautiful, and deeply psychologically injured. Her story is one of abuse, manipulation, and war. She was raised by abusive people in a cult of power and supremacy; by the age of 14, she was being used to put the same trauma out on the entire world.

The prime driver for Azula’s character is the necessity to retain control over her situation and due to her status as the princess of the world’s dominant power, this is control over everything. Control and power are the only things Azula truly understands as valuable. This control also equals safety, safety from physical harm during a battle, and emotional harm by others. We can see this control manifest in her emotional distress at having even one hair out of place during her training (2x01). She uses her place of power to hold fear over other people, those she considers lesser than her, by invoking the fear of losing their place and physical harm. Her social power and skill in bending back up the threats.

Azula’s need for control started as a child who grew up being taught through the iron hand of Ozai who demanded perfection. Her status as a prodigy with fire bending, physical aptitude, and intelligence gave her positive attention from her father but also led her to be inculcated even stronger into the idea that fear is the only way. Her father taught with the fear of retribution for failure as much as any positive attention. The more blatant abuse Zuko suffered from their father for showing what was perceived as weakness and emotionality was another teacher that she must always control every part of her. (2x07, 3x06)

This control via strength without understanding was worsened by her other connections. Her mother failed to connect and attune to her daughter so even in early childhood they were always moving past each other. Azula’s failure to show empathy was met with judgment and punishment and we don’t see them ever repair the relational rupture. Their mother then abandoned them accompanied by their parents murdering their grandfather and threats against her brother. Leaving her with only Ozai as a point of influence and even more surrounded by violence. (2x07)

Azula also gained little perspective outside of the pure ideology of the fire nation royal family and royal academy for girls. She carried the beliefs of fire supremacy and nationalism with no outside input which left her with the schemas of power in her nascent socio-political awareness and added to the stunting of her ability to gain empathy. She was taught to view the world as nations and people only worth understanding to beat not for its own sake. (2x07, 2x19-20, 3x05, 3x06)

This pain leaves her spending the whole second season [spanning months] as a weapon of her father. She is forced to travel around the world, originally with only staff, with the goal of hurting her own family in the name of not being shamed. To prove she can do it she gives herself the task of stopping the avatar. Azula is able to escape a fight with some of the strongest benders we see in the show easily and is persistent to a fault. (2x03) We see her skills of strategy and combat shine here as well as many of her trauma responses. The biggest one being she is acting in a mindset that can not shift from using the world and not experiencing it. (2x01, 2x03, 2x07-8, 2x13, 2x15)

Azula’s pure genius shows in her ability to take over Ba Sing Se on her ability to read other people, manipulate court games, and her sheer belief in her infallibility. We see her play the Dai Li and Long Feng with only the backup of her two friends. She has an iconic moment of power “Don’t flatter yourself you were never even a player” and invokes her belief in the divine right of kings or lords. (2x18-20)

Once she proves herself and can bring her brother and uncle home, if in a way not planned, putting her back in a secure place of princess she longs to keep. We see her try and maintain control by being the one who understands both her father and Zuko. We see her struggle greatly with normal life but thrive within the system of the place. (3x05-6, 3x11)

However, we see her set world start to collapse when Zuko leaves and her only two friends choose to take a chance for love versus staying in her control bubble. This challenges her sense of safety she works so hard to maintain. It also goes against her understanding of interpersonal relationships and her innate power. (3x11, 3x13, 3x15)

This causes a breakdown in the end. However, this leaves her without a throne and a sense of safety. After the show, we see her mental health stay in a deteriorated state, struggle with the past, and joins a group that wants to harm the new age of peace. (3x18-20, Comics: The Promise Part Three, The Search. Smoke and Shadow)

Relationships:

Zuko

Zuko and Azula are one of the key family dynamics within the story. Azula acts as a foil to Zuko during their childhood being the golden child to his scapegoat. She was Ozai’s favorite whereas Zuko was closer to Ursa. They both suffered severe trauma as young people but Azula spent the time trying to not be viewed as poorly as Zuko. (3x07, The Search) Something she directly tells their father, to not be treated like Zuko (3x18). Building your relationship with your sibling as wanting to prove you are better than them sets them up too but heads, something she acknowledges was also going to come down to them deciding who is the right one to succeed their father.

During the main plot, we see them start as the predator and the prey (2x01, 2x08). Both of them lived in the mindset Ozai Taught them, she was born lucky and he was lucky to be born (1x20, 2x07). She is the long arm of their father only claiming some autonomy when she chooses her team and attacks the avatar as well (2x03, 2x08).

Azula brings Zuko back into their fold because next to Iroh she understands Zuko the best. She knows easily the only thing he wants is to feel in control of his life and craves the respect of their father, these are things she also needs. We see her also offer the double-sided act of letting Zuko take credit. It is partially protective as should he live Azula is protected, Suko would be the one who failed. It can also be some degree of kindness for her brother because she does like the system the way it is and Zuko being in pain causes worse stress.

They continue to bump heads as we see Azula feel most at home within the bureaucracy whereas he struggles to feel as if it was right. Zuko still carries the pain of shame for his actions at the same time Azula pushes much of her emotion down. Part of this is Azula knows where she stands and as long as others play the part she has no worries. Zuko breaks this steady normal as a child when he wants to be empathetic to soldiers and again when he feels the need to save the earth kingdom she wanted to kill in total war. (3x01, 3x05, 3x16)

Their reactions during The Day of Black Sun (3x11) set them on their paths for the end and they mirror each other. Azula uses the time to play her role and waits for the fire bending to turn on to win. Zuko uses the time to pull away from their father for good. They continue to be antagonistic and Zuko is an axle in her relational rupture with Ty Lee and Mai. (3x14-16)

Their final Agni Kai for the title of Firelord shows how much Zuko has learned in his complex bending style and ability to hold control while we notice Azula loose form entirely relying almost completely on her raw power. Her very body language giving off how sick she is currently in her movements now disjointed and lacking precision which conflicts with the controlled fighting we see from Katara and Zuko. (3x18-21).

They have spent their whole life used as pawns by their parents and stuck in the milieu of war and suffering. Azula’s status as her father’s favorite offers her the status Zuko wants but she also lacks the time and ability to grow Zuko earned through his relationship with Uncle Iroh. Their understanding of each other is strong but Azula fails to offer sympathy to her brother when he chooses things she wouldn’t and treats him poorly. And Zuko needs to be able to challenge her so he can properly heal, along with team avatar, the fissures in the world.

Ursa

We see that Azula and Ursa do not understand each other and the abuse they both suffer disallowed them to properly attach. Ursa didn’t understand Azula’s natural predispositions or her trauma which left Azula often being told off by her mother or treated as separate from the bond Ursa had with Zuko. I wouldn’t go as far as to say Ursa was forming a scapegoat golden child dynamic more so she couldn’t bring herself to look past her trauma. (2x07, The Promise, & The Search)

During the fire nation teens' conversation at ember island, we see that Azula generalized her mother's view of her as a monster as much as the other conditioning she had as a kid. This whole where her mother’s attunement should be opened even more space for what Ozai taught her. Azula lack’s a full ability to process this but it is the one time we see Azula even come close to verbalizing painful emotions other than paranoia and anger. (3x05)

If we are to believe the memory we see from Iroh (1x12) she was already immune to violence as a pre-teen believing that Ozai’s assault of Zuko was justified and even taking gratification from it. This play into her relationship with her mother as the gentleness her mother might have displayed towards her child was missing making the hardest part of the indoctrination become the most prevalent. Worsen when Ursa abandons her children and seeks out her new life. The effects of this are her willingness to be cavalier with life, and failure to attach to others (3x17).

Azula’s relationship with her mother ends up being the breaking point in space after the betrayal of her friends. When we see her experience hallucinations and paranoid thought they center around her mother and their relationship, rather there was love or not being the central question. (3x19)

Paranoid delusions around her mother continue in the comics where we see Azula unable to interact from a clear headspace. (The Search)

Ozai

Ozai is Azula's main force of identity shaping her internal and external perceptions to the point of making her more of a human tool than a real daughter. The craving for her father's need is just as strong as Zuko’s but instead of trying to restore it her job is to keep it and not rock the boat. This is seen in her letting Zuko take credit for the killing the avatar which brings her brother back in (3x01) and when she asks Ozai to not treat her like Zuko when he becomes the phoenix king (3x20)

Throughout the show, everything she does is to please her father from going after her brother and then succeeding in killing Aang. (2x01-2x20). She also parrots her father's belief about weakness, fears power, and the might of the fire nation. Examples include naming the city New Ozai, demanding the divine right of kings, and her obsessive focus on acting and appearing perfect.

Ozai’s abuse permeated everything Azula was and is leading to her becoming the shadow of a person we see at the end of the series.

Ty Lee & Mai

Next to her blood family Mai & Ty Lee are her most influential relationships. She considers them generally friends starting when they went to the same school (2x07). We see that even as a child she had the highest status in the group and already needed to win. However, they do seem to have some genuine care for the princess even if it is never balanced. For example, when recruiting Ty Lee she uses manipulation and fear to force her back into serving the fire nation. (2x03). Mai and Ty Lee are skilled fighters making them useful to Azula, something she values more than anything other than loyalty. She has trouble conceptualizing their emotions as validly seen in her calling their emotions performances, however in the same episode we see her care about making Ty Lee cry and experience very human emotions of envy herself. They bond over their traumas and their shared love of destruction (3x05).

None of the three of them are particularly well adjusted but what Azula has on her side is an utter belief in her competence and her belief that their friends will fall in line with that ambition. For the most part, they do; Ty Lee often flatters her and Mail generally does as she’s told when Azula is around. However one of Azula’s most pivotal moments comes when this obedience falls through. Mai loves Zuko more than she fears Azla’s wrath and Ty Lee can’t bear to see them hurt each other. Earning one of Azula's most characterizing lines ``You should have feared me more”. This betrayal and shift in her stable world put Azula over the edge and fuels paranoid thoughts and a slip into worse mental illness. (3x14)

To consider Mai and Ty Lee to be the manipulative ones or otherwise treat them as the bad or abusive party to Azula is unfair. They are doing what they can as they believe Azula has the right to be in charge and suffer consequences when they step out of line. However, it’s equally unfair to assume everything Azula does is machiavellian; she too is acting on sincerely held beliefs and as a daughter of abusive or neglectful parents. I think Azula has a hard time conceptualizing others as full people objectifying them in her schema of the world but unlike some of her behavior to Zuko, I doubt it’s intentionally cruel.

Developmetnal Trauma

Adulti-fication (2x01,2x03, 2x07, 2x08, 2x13 2x19-20, 3x01-2, 3x05, 3x15, & 3x18-21)

Anger (3x13-20)

Control fixations (2x01, 2x03, 2x07, 2x7, 2x13, 2x19, 3x01, 3x05, 3x15, & 3x18-21)

Conditioned Value Systems (2x01, 2x07, 2x19-20, 3x01, & 3x05)

Empathic Deficits (2x03, 2x07, 2x15, 3x05, & 3x11)

Harm to Animals (2x07 & 2x15)

Hypervigilance (2x01, 2x03, 2x07, 2x08, & 2x19-20)

Obsessive Thoughts (2x01, 2x03, 3x05, & 3x18-21)

Locus of Control breakdown (2x01,2x07, 2x15, 3x05, 3x14, & 3x18-21)

Paradoxical Arousal, [Functions best during high-stress situations and worse under normal or positive] (2x03, 3x05, 3x13-5)

Paranoid Thoughts (3x18-21)

Perfectionism (2x01, 2x07, 3x05, 3x13, & 2x17-20)

Positive & Negative Psychosis Symptoms (3x18-21)

Recklessness (2x03, 2x07, 2x08, 3x05, & 3x15-16)

Risk Seeking Behaviors (2x03, 2x13, 2x15, & 3x11)

Social issues (3x05)

Trust Issues (2x13, 3x01, 3x11, 3x13, & 3x18-21)

Violent Play Behaviors (2x07 & 3x05)

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fujosh1dreamer · 4 years

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Alright it's time for more of my controversial opinions on the she Ra finally, as some might know I didn't like it too much. To clarify I thought it started out really well at first and I was really excited to see where it would go, but by like episode 5 or whatever I just knew. It was sort of anticlimatic if I'm honest, and I have a few honest criticisms. Now I'm not gonna go through all these now, I'm actually just gonna focus on what I considered to be the biggest problem of season 5 and honestly the whole show.

Before I get into it this is just my honest opinions and if I hated the show I wouldn't have kept up with all the season and been a fan. I love she Ra and I really wanted to love season 5 I just couldn't. That's not to say it was bad, there was a lot of good stuff.

Also, also I am going to be talking about Catra and adora and their relationship. I'm not an anti or anything it's just a few comments about the execution. This is about Catra as a whole not just this one ship.

Let's begin: Catra has always been a well liked but controversial character back in seasons 1 and 2 her actions were fine, while harsh she was at least understandable to an extent. Most people who liked her wanted to she her growth and redemption. Me on the other hand I've never been a fan personally but I didn't mind her too much early on. Later, however is where the problems come into play.

In order for season 5 to have worked Catra needed to be properly redeemed because she's done some awful crap. And to make my case I'll list off a few things she's done: actively attacked adora and her friends on multiple occasions, took enjoyment out of hurting others and seeing the horde take over, stabbed entrapta in the back literally, threatened scorpia, and opened the portal.

Now I know what you're thinking, yes we know this, so what she's better now in season 5 she's redeemed herself. Yes at the end of season 5 Catra is redeemed but the question is how? And why?

Catra and her redemption story has been compared to zuko and his story. Which I think is a little unfair because it's just not on the same level. Don't get me wrong compared to other redemption attempts it's definitely a win. I don't wanna compare these two it's not necessary people learn and grow in different ways.

I didn't like Catra's redemption because it felt too easy. It didn't hurt and because it wasn't painful it didn't feel earned. However people who talked about Catra and season 5 talked about it making them cry and honesty it only made me tear up one and it wasn't ever in a scene about Catra or adora, or even glimmer. It was when entrapta was talking to mermista and she realized that everyone was mad at her. So maybe my emotions are just shot, or something.

Despite not like season 5 all that much I did however like Catra this season. I've never liked Catra, I liked her momentarily in season 3 before she started making horrible decision, but other than that I didn't like her. So in season 5 Catra was well written. And it's because of character interaction.

Something spop has always done well is showing us how characters interact and what their dynamic is which makes scenes more interesting and how Catra talked with everyone was great it felt natural, almost too natural. I get that our heroes are supposed to be forgiving they're heroes but it's one thing to forgive and another thing to forget completely. There are only two times Catra really gets called out for her previous actions. The first is when frosta bless her heart, punches Catra right on the face and this scene is played off for laughs because Catra brushes off the punch and also frosta apologizes because she didn't realize Catra is on their side now. They all just too adora's word about Catra being good now. Then she's confronted again by perfuma who's just upset about how she treated scorpia. Which was bad we'll talk about that later but she's done so many other things to get mad over. Like anyone remember when mermista's home got taken over Catra pratically led that siege, mermista was heartbroken she lost her home.

So that's issue one how she integrates easily into being friends with everyone else.

Next is...

Oof, let's talk about Glimmer and Catra. Them being stuck together was interesting because their situation helped them both grow and tested their resolve which is great. Their relationship is really well written. We just have one small, tiny problem... Catra killed glimmers mom!!!

Are we just never gonna talk about that I mean the opening of the portal in season 3 and the death of Angella are two really big issue because they're the point of no return for Catra and Glimmer.

Catra actively opening the portal to spite adora and potentially destroy the planet turned Catra from a simple kid making mistakes because of her circumstances to someone who genuinely doesn't care about the suffering and potential death of others as long as she can prove a point. It made her a real threat and a potential villain.

Angellas death made glimmer queen and it also made her cold and willing to seek vengeance despite them being the good guys. She was willing to take matters into her own hands even if it meant going a little too far. Both of these characters changed in season 3 and those continued into season 4.

So if these events had such a great impact why aren't they brought up??? Simple because we need a happy ending and that can't happen if we're talking about dead parents.

Out of all the people that Catra apologised to shouldn't glimmer be first on that list. Doesn't she deserve at least that much.

My next point and the one I'm probably most bitter about is Catra and scorpia.

It's safe to say their relationship has always been a little weird. In the very beginning of seems very one sided with Scorpia hanging onto catra's every word. Then with time we see that Catra does actually care about scorpia she just doesn't like to show it. Which is fine until you guessed it season 3 where Catra's character really falls down to the point of no return.

So let's recap throughout season 3 while Catra and scorpia were together you could see the beginning of something and honesty it was pretty cute. Then the ending happened and Catra attacks entrapta and threatened to do the same to scorpia and suddenly everything was broken. All throughout season 4 we see nothing but hurtful words from Catra towards everyone but especially scorpia who's just being loyal. Finally scorpia gets tired and she basically puts Catra through one more test involving Emily before deciding to leave.

This relationship was the one I was really looking forward to seeing in season 5, but all we get is one small apology in the last episode and that's it.

Throughout this season they pratically had scorpia and Catra forget about each other completely.

When scorpia left the horde she did it because she felt she had to in order to both save entrapta and Emily. She wasn't fully okay with her decision until she met the other princesses and realized they're nothing like the horde. Still she never forgot about Catra because scorpia's whole thing is loyalty so how did she just get over her feelings for Catra especially when doesn't know where she is and hasn't heard anything about her. I know the situation was dangerous but still.

It was all pretty upsetting. Moving on...

In my final moments I wanna talk about catradora and also a little about shadoweaver.

Shadoweaver died and well... I expected that you really can't redeem her. It's not impossible but no one would ever accept it because people can't really change and nothing can ever make up for the mistakes she made in the past and the way she manipulated people. It's weird how I can't tell of I'm talking about shadoweaver or Catra anymore. They did a lot of the same things and yet... Catra is never really blamed for anything. Same with Hordak the fandom blames him for crap all the time but when Catra hurts people it's okay. Shadoweaver and Hordak are different cases they're older than her, well let's compare glimmer in season 4 grieving over her mother and making mistakes and everyone getting mad and expecting her to be held accountable, why is there such a double standard for Catra???

Anywho Catra and Adora's relationship is apparently the only thing everyone cared about will they be together??? After season 3 the chances were very small, but guess what they ended up together. Honestly when I say I get a little annoyed around episode 5 it's because they made it really obvious they're gonna end up together happily ever after style. Honestly I don't have the energy after this long post to criticize it. I just wish it was a little more tactful in the beginning and less blatantly obvious. But whatever!!!

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zutaradreams · 4 years

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Day 3: Season 4 Zutara

AO3 Part 2

“Can you heal minds?” Zuko asks Katara to help him with Azula; To be continued tomorrow

“I abandoned her.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“When the news broke that Aang defeated my father, I felt victory. But when we fought Azula...well, did you feel victorious?”

She remembered how Azula writhed like an animal in chains, and how she screamed the most heart wrenching shriek, all while Zuko’s weight pressed against her as he struggled to his feet from the brutal wound that should have killed him.

“No.”

“I was lucky, now that I think about it. I had my uncle. I had been banished. I had the freedom to understand the world in a way Azula never could. My inclinations had already been challenged, but when Azula was finally forced to face the same realities, she couldn’t handle it.”

“So you want me to take a look at her?”

Can you heal minds, his desperate letter had asked her. It was the first letter they’d received addressed to her. All the others went to Aang. But Zuko wrote her a letter that told her Azula’s madness was now her permanent state. His worry for his sister bled off the page and seeped into this evening meal they shared. He wanted to know if there was any hope for her at all.

Another time, when there was less on his mind, she would tell him she was worried about Aang too, and the new darkness thriving inside him since he stole Ozai’s bending away. Another time, she would admit she was afraid of him.

“If you’re comfortable with it. I just want to know if her brain is suffering some kind of physical trauma, or if it’s all mental.”

“I’ll do it. First thing in the morning.”

“Thank you, Katara.”

She shuddered. The last time he said that she had started his heart back up in her hands. That whole battle would forever be something only the two of them understood.

Azula didn’t acknowledge her at all when she went to see her the next morning. She just stared at the metal bars of her cell door.

“We have to lock you in,” a guard said. “Just yell if you need to get out.”

She swallowed down the bile. She could be strong. She could do this for Zuko. “Hi, Azula, I’m just here to make sure you don’t have any injuries.”

Azula didn’t move.

“I’ll, um, start with your hands.” Katara reached for one, but Azula ripped her hand away and screamed. Katara jerked back. She was deathly afraid Azula would shoot a wave of fire at her, but she didn’t. She only screamed. The sound reverberated off the damp walls of her iron cell and surged the fear Katara had struggled to suppress.

Then as suddenly as she started, she stopped. Katara exhaled deeply. “I’m sorry I grabbed you. I wasn’t thinking.”

Azula didn’t respond, but as Katara looked into the blank depths of her eyes, she realized Azula’s hair was a knotted mess. Matted clumps collected at the nape of her neck, and jagged bangs fell in her eyes. “I bet no one’s done your hair, have they?”

So Katara came back with a wide-tooth comb, special soaps, and hair oils. She spent two hours bending water through her hair and detangling the weeks-old knots, smoothing her hair back to a healthy condition. Azula didn’t fight her once, and it gave her the perfect opportunity to probe healing hands against her temples. It would hurt Zuko to know there was nothing out of the ordinary, nothing that could be fixed with her “magic water”.

When she finished, Azula lifted her fingers and ran them through the freshly-combed strands. “Mother,” she called, the first word she had spoken all day.

“No, it’s not Mother. I’m a friend of Zuko’s.”

Azula smiled. “Zuzu.”

“Yes, Zuzu. Get some sleep. I’ll be back later.”

The spices on the chicken burned the back of her throat. She tried some of the soup to wash it down.

“So, no physical trauma.”

“Not that I saw.”

He struck his palm into his forehead. “I don’t know what to do for her. I’ve had all kinds of sanatorium physicians talk to her. None of them recommended anything but keeping her locked up for the rest of her life!”

“While I do admit she isn’t stable now, I don’t think it’ll be like this forever.”

“You always have hope.”

She rolled her eyes at him, though she didn’t take offense. “Do you know why I have hope right now?”

“Why?”

“Because she smiled when I said your name.”

The next day, Katara combed Azula’s hair, and after, she gathered it all in her hands and styled it into a neat topknot.

“I have something for you,” Katara said. She didn’t ask Zuko for Azula’s crown. She wanted to stray away from the influence of their father and recover her memories of her mother. Those memories seemed to be from a more pleasant time. She brought with her one of Ursa’s hair combs and held it out for Azula to see.

“Look, it’s Mother’s.”

Azula tentatively held her palm out. Katara placed the hair comb in her palm, thinking about how excited she would be to tell Zuko over dinner that night. Then her fist clenched around the comb, and flames erupted from her hands. The melted comb flew towards Katara’s head along with a burst of fire. She ducked as Azula bent formations randomly around the cell.

The guards got her out of there as fast as they could.

“I should have known it would be a bad idea as soon as you asked for that comb. Azula hated our mother.”

“Zuko, it’s not your fault.”

“Did she hurt you?”

“No.”

“Are you sure? Her guards told me it was the most she had firebent since she was put in there.”

Her face lit up, despite it all. “Maybe that’s a good thing! Maybe it’s good for her to get all that anger out.”

“I’d agree...if she was directing the flames far away from you.”

“You don’t have to worry about me. You have enough to worry about, Fire Lord.”

He shook his head at her. “I worry about the nation as my job. I get to worry about you recreationally.”

She tried a different strategy on the third day when she went to do Azula’s hair. This time, she wouldn’t mention Ozai, or Ursa, just--

“Zuzu sent me to check on you.”

“Zuzu.”

“He wants to make sure you’re eating.” She wasn’t. Her untouched food usually stayed right where the guards dropped it off, and nobody was going to force feed her.

Katara picked up a spoonful of oatmeal. It looked terribly unappetizing, but it was food, and Azula’s cheeks were looking rather sunken. She pressed the spoon to Azula’s lips and watched her swallow the bite. She wouldn’t hold the spoon herself, no matter how many tricks Katara tried, but Katara did manage to get her to eat every bite.

Then Azula threw it all up. Katara patted her back as she cried and murmured soothing words as she expelled all the oatmeal and painfully heaved up bile after the oatmeal was gone. Katara used her waterbending to wash away the mess. She would need the guards to bring more food and water.

Azula sat in the middle of the floor with vomit in her nose, on her clothes, stuck to her mouth. “Is he okay?”

“Who, Azula?”

“It smells so bad.”

“You just threw up. Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

“Is he okay?” she asked again as Katara used her sleeve to clean Azula’s face.

“Let’s make sure you’re okay.”

“That’s what happens when you disobey. Suffering will be your teacher. Did you see his face?”

His face? “Zuko?”

“Did you see his face?”

“Yes, Azula, I saw his face.”

“Is he okay?”

She patted her back again. “Yes, he’s okay.”

Azula stopped crying long enough for Katara to get her to drink some water. Soon after, she got some more oatmeal and fed her a quarter of the bowl to prevent her stomach from getting too full and have the same thing happen again.

“My name’s Katara,” she said to her because it dawned on her that Azula might not know. “I’m Katara. You’re Azula. You’re okay. Zuko’s okay.”

Azula said nothing.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I appreciate all the time you’re putting into her care.”

“Of course.”

“I should be the one to do it.”

“You don’t have the time,” she reminded him. “But maybe you could go to see her. You seem to be the only one she cares anything about.”

“She hates me. She doesn’t want to see me. She shot me with lightning.”

But she didn’t mean to. She was aiming for me. “If you have the time, go see her.”

“I will.”

“Promise?”

“Katara--”

“Come on, Fire Lord.”

“Fine. I promise.”

On the fourth day, she talked and talked, trying to coax some sort of response out of Azula. It was a bit like talking to a baby, talking and talking to someone who couldn’t reply. Azula stared blankly at her as Katara styled her hair, changed her linens, fed her small bites of food.

“I have an older brother too. Can I tell you a secret? I love him more than anyone in the whole world. If something ever happened to him, I don’t think I’d be okay. I’d go on, but part of me would be missing for the rest of my life.”

Katara was young. Until she was fourteen years old, there hadn’t been a world outside her family and her village. She loved everyone she met; they’d become a part of her family, but Sokka was the one she’s spent most of her life with. Until she started her own family, he would always be the most important to her. They would always understand each other better than anyone else.

She was lost in thought, wondering what everyone else was up to, spoon feeding another bite into Azula’s mouth, when Azula reached out and burned the wrist of the arm holding the spoon.

“You will learn, and suffering will be your teacher.”

Katara cried out, but Azula’s fiery hand grasped her harder. Tears of pain sprang to her eyes, and she wrenched away from her just in time for the guards to pull her out. One of the guards delivered a blow to Azula’s head, and Azula fell limply to the floor.

“You didn’t have to do that!” Katara shouted at him, while the rest of her could only register the white-hot pain surging from her wrist. Against her better judgment, she looked down. The sight of the blistering, bloody skin made her stomach turn. She needed to work on this quickly.

“The Fire Lord must be notified.”

“No, please the Fire Lord is busy.”

“He told us to inform him immediately if any incident like this occurred.” The guard critically glanced at her wrist. “It clearly has. You have to be taken to the palace physician at once.”

“I can heal it,” she insisted. She just needed some cool, clean water. She didn’t need a physician to rub salves on it, or Zuko to tell her never to visit Azula again. This was just a setback. It didn’t mean there wasn’t any hope for Azula. Just like it didn’t mean there wasn’t any hope for Aang.

She did end up agreeing to see the physician, so long as she was given a chance to heal it first. She soaked the blistered skin in cool water to soothe it and set to work on healing the skin. It was not as easy as when Aang burned her while he was learning. Those burns were minor compared to this one. She was able to ease some of the pain and keep the blisters from thickening, but the physician would need to rub a salve on it to prevent infection. The physician also had the proper bandages.

The physician, named Sazura, was bandaging the wound when Zuko came in dressed head-to-toe in his Fire Lord regalia. “She burned you?”

“Just a little bit on my wrist.”

“The guards said she held onto you and wouldn’t let go.”

“I was able to get away from her. It’s okay, Zuko. It’s just a little burn.”

Sazura added, “My Lord, with Lady Katara’s accelerated healing, I expect it to heal completely in less than a week.”

This information did nothing to calm the worried look in Zuko’s eyes. Once the physician finished wrapping Katara’s wrist, she recommended the lady get some rest. It was the only other medicine she prescribed Katara. Zuko offered to walk Katara back to her room.

“I’m not tired.”

“Then take a walk with me.”

“Don’t you have work to do?” It was the middle of the day. Zuko was usually stuck in back-to-back meetings, pouring over documents, seeking advice. He never had time to walk in the middle of the day.

“Not right now.”

She agreed to go with him. They ended up wandering into some part of the palace she hadn’t had the chance to visit in her relatively short stay. It was a grand room filled wall-to-wall with tapestries of the history of the Fire Nation.

“I wish you wouldn’t see her again.”

“Zuko, please don’t lose hope.”

“Katara, I can accept that I’m never going to get my sister back. I can make peace with that. I don’t want anything to happen to you. You don’t need to risk yourself for a lost cause.”

“I don’t think she’s a lost cause! You don’t either! I know you don’t. You never would have asked me here in the first place if you thought she was.”

“I want her bending taken away, just like my father.”

“No!” Katara shouted at him. “You can’t do that. You don’t get to decide who gets to bend and who doesn’t. You don’t understand how dangerous that kind of power is.” There were tears in her eyes just thinking about it.

“What do you mean?”

It felt like a betrayal to even say it out loud. “Aang’s not the same.”

“Not the same how?”

“He has these awful dreams at night. He swears they’re memories of your father’s life, and when he wakes in the middle of one of them, he’s merciless and sadistic and destructive. He’s terrifying, and there’s no snapping him out of it until he wakes up completely. No Avatar has ever taken another’s bending before. There’s no one to help him understand the consequences of what he did. There’s no one to help him heal. You can’t ask him to do it again.”

“Then I won’t.”

“Thank you.” She hugged him. She needed a hug.

“We’re going to figure out what’s going on with Aang,” he assured her, rubbing his hand soothingly along her back. “I wish you’d told me sooner.”

“He wanted me to keep it a secret.”

“That’s too much of a burden to put on you,” he said gently. She knew she needed to pull away from him soon, but his arms were too comforting. “Is that why you came here? You thought if you could figure out how to help Azula, you could figure out how to help Aang?”

She squeezed him tighter one last time before she let go. “No. I came here for you.” She looked down at her bandaged wrist and sighed. “I didn’t think the end of the war was going to be like this.”

“Neither did I. I imagined a lot less chaos.”

“Yeah, I was hoping for more parties. Some nice festivals.”

“Wouldn’t that be nice?” he mused along with her before he steered the conversation back to reality. “When Azula burned you, was it an accident, do you think?”

“No. I wish it was. She said ‘suffering will be your teacher’ like she knew what she was doing.”

Zuko tensed, and his eyes turned cold. “What did she say?”

Did she even need to repeat herself? From his reaction, she was sure he already knew. “‘Suffering will be your teacher.’ She said it before a couple days ago when she threw up after eating. What does it mean?”

He didn’t reply at first.

“Zuko, what does it mean?”

“It’s what my father said before he burned me.”

An answer to a question she never asked, though she wondered a million times. Zuko, how did you get your scar? Now so many more questions. He was gone before she could ask them.

#zutarafic #zutaramonth #zutaradreams #zutara month 2020 #zutara

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bellatrixobsessed1 · 5 years

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Wan High Weeping (Part 3)

This chapter was interesting being as I don’t often work within Mai’s POV.

Mai hadn’t planned on spending that day, or any day in the Jasmine dragon. But Azula was just as much of a fan of demands as Mai was of avoiding arguments. Anyways she had gotten more than her fill of those through the duration of the summer.

Summer, summer, summer. Mai hated summer because Zuko hated the season. Summer was when he was more or less stuck at home. At home was when he was stuck with their father.

A waiter came around and dropped a single black coffee in front of her. Black coffee, TyLee would have gotten a kick out of that one. But she wasn’t in the mood for TyLee right then, the girl was too perky for her. Mai felt around her pocket, until her fingers grazed the item she was looking for. The urge is very strong. She squeezes her eyes shut and clenches her fists. Not here, not now. She told herself. But she was losing her grip quickly. She was both thankful and vexed by the buzzing of her phone. She hadn’t even picked it up but she was already annoyed. It could only be from one of two people and both of them bothered her.

Frankly she hoped that it was Azula as opposed to Zuko. That late into the summer, Azula was the lesser of two evils. Reluctantly but quickly, she withdrew her hand from her pocket and unlocked her phone. ‘Are you already at the Jasmine Dragon?’ Mai sighed to herself. Azula had a habit of expecting people to leap when she demanded it but had no concept of jumping for anyone else. She replies with a simple, ‘yes’ regardless.

She supposed that it would be good to try to explain things to Azula. She wasn’t in the mood for people much these days, but she didn’t want to cut ties entirely. Perhaps the truth was the best thing to tell in this case. She took a prolonged drink of her coffee. It was so much easier to keep things inside. So much easier to release them in one thin red line.

Her hand goes to her pocket again.

“Not here.” She mumbles to herself. “Not here.”

She was trying so hard to break the habit. How long had it been since the last time? She thought that it was maybe back in February when Zuko had his Valentine’s Day meltdown. God forbid they just act like a normal couple for the holiday. No, he always had to go out throw his money around—try something elaborate and over the top that always didn’t quite work out as he planned. He’d get frustrated and things would derail from there. She pinched the bridge of her nose, the man was much too intense for her. All she wanted was to stick with her stoic moods and her quiet time. A novel would do her well, maybe something like Carmilla…but that reminded her too much of TyLee in some dark way. She’d find herself a novel, hell, at this point she might even be willing to stoop to stereotypes and throw in some Evanescence and Black Veil Brides. But then, the band didn’t really matter so long as she had something to drown out her own thoughts, lest they overtake her, climb up to the surface, and claw their way out.

She was growing impatient, she looked at her phone. With nothing else to do it began to settle and she found herself going to Zuko’s text window. Her fingers hovered over the buttons. She promised herself that she wouldn’t do it, that she wouldn’t go crawling back, not after what happened just before the summer’s start.

She became once again aware of the object in her pocket. It suddenly feels so heavy.

It was not like Azula to be late and she was beginning to think that she just got stood up. Petty vengeance was in Azula’s nature, she thought that it might be in the girl’s blood. Mai didn’t know what she had done, maybe she had given a bigger cold shoulder than she had thought. Azula didn’t take well to being snubbed.

She tossed back the rest of her coffee. She needed something to dull her mood because she could feel a creeping anger churning within. She felt it stirring in her belly and beating behind her eyes. Just when it was beginning to reach its peak she hears her text tone. ‘I won’t be meeting you after all…’ She should have felt pure unsaturated rage right then. But all she feels is a hollow and cold sense of indifference; if Azula didn’t want to hear it then that was fine. It was fine. She didn’t need Azula. In fact, it would be just dandy in Mai’s world if Azula severed ties with her. That way she wouldn’t have to deal with the woman and her edgy, uptight moods nor the higher odds of running into Zuko, but she could also pretend like the burned bridge wasn’t of her own doing.

And then the volleyball star texted her again and she knew that she would still have to blame herself because Azula explained that she was on her way to the hospital. A part of Mai feels bad that she wasn’t there for her. Most of Mai feels a wild lack of care as per usual.

She didn’t know what possessed her to do it. Maybe it was roll over agitation and impatience, the remanence of thinking that she had been stood up. Maybe it was some undetected, underlying resentment—the kind the existed only at an unconscious level. Whatever the reason, she texted ‘pics or it didn’t happen’. As soon as she hit send, she had a vague sense that she just broke things off with Azula without trying.

Yet she received a picture.

In that picture she found a new sense of guilt. The girl didn’t look angry at all…okay so that wasn’t strictly true, she looked absolutely and fantastically pissed even for Azula. But there was a sort of franticness about it. She could see fear. Fear and pain and a lot of it. She was laying down with her stomach exposed, it was swollen and bruised at the ribcage. A closer observation of the image had her quickly closing out of the texting app and shoving her phone into her pocket. She was never good with body horror; ‘Saw’, ‘Body Melt’, those were not on her to watch list by any means. So noticing the way Azula’s ribcage was protruding in some places, jutting at an awkward angel, had her squirming.

She should have said something. Something supportive and comforting. But her stomach was lurching and she didn’t really want to see the picture again. She couldn’t be mad at Azula though, she did ask for it. In retrospect it was painfully stupid. Ambulances always meant body horror.

Her squeamishness at the sight of broken bones and massive amounts of blood only made her actions more confusing. It was different somehow, she justified, when it was her own blood. She got up from her chair and muttered a thank you to her server.

Her phone buzzed again and she full expected a scathing remark from Azula about being ignored again. What she found was worse. ‘Mai, I’m sorry. Please talk to me. I don’t know what I’m going to do…’

She stole herself away in the bathroom and drew the razor out of her pocket.

.oOo.

By the end of the summer her arm had the texture of a cracked mirror. After her initial relapse in the bathroom of the Jasmine Dragon things had nosedived. Had made her way back to an empty home that seemed that much more so with her parents off on business trips, the one that they constantly complained of. Apparently, they weren’t done with the Beifong’s yet. Between their lawsuit and Ozai’s competitive company, she didn’t see much of a way out for the other family. Once upon a time she would have been longing for them to come home. If she were still in middle school she’d be begging them to come home and spend the summer with her. By now it has settled in that, that just wasn’t a realistic wish.

She gave her arm another slash for her loneliness.

She indulged herself in her destruction twice more that summer. The first of which was just a perfect storm. Tom-Tom was pitching up a good fuss because she didn’t fancy a trip to the pool. With skin so pale she didn’t do anything but burn.

“You never take me to the pool.” He accused. “You didn’t take me last summer either and I want to go.” It would only be a matter of time before he started wailing.

And Mai couldn’t take it, not one more minute of the screeching and whining. She wasn’t angry with Tom-Tom, he was a kid, he just wanted to enjoy the summer with the other kids. No, she was furious with her parents. They should have been there. This was their job. “Why don’t you swim in our pool.” She suggested, at least that way she could sit on the porch, in the shade, or watch from the inside with the a/c pumping.

“I don’ wanna play alone no more, I wanna see Fifi.”

Mai winced. She winced because she knew that by being so introverted, she was depriving him of a healthy social life. But she couldn’t putt on a bikini with her arms all crisscrossed. That would earn her too many questions. “Either swim in our pool or find a new way to have fun, Tom-Tom.”

Just like that he was bawling and she felt horrible all over again.

Later she tried to get him to eat but he refused. Just like he refused to change out of his swim trunks and into his pajamas. He cried through the night and she wondered if this temper tantrum would ever come to pass.

Just when she was feeling alone in her stroke of ill luck, she got the text. She would rather be alone than hear from Zuko. She couldn’t handle his slew of problems that night, his begging and crying made Tom-Tom’s sound like music. Awful, half-assed screamo songs, but music no less. She swiped the message notification away and powered the phone off.

She took pride in her self-control, in her ability to leave it powered off for another three days.

When she did turn it back on she found an onslaught of awful things. The last several were scathing messages from her mother and father. Tom-Tom must have complained to them about being housebound for so long. She opted not to reply, she was already in three days deep, responding then would be a waste of text.

Zuko, as expected, also helped to blow up her phone. ‘I just want to talk.’ ‘I won’t do it again.’ ‘Please, I really need someone to talk to.’ ‘Azula’s hurt you know?’ He must have been getting desperate if he was willing to toss in a faux sympathetic message regarding his sister. She swiped those away too, wondering why she didn’t just block him.

Because she is a stupid bitch. A tried and true idiot.

She was that person.

Zuko wasn’t the final straw.

Scrolling up she came to find that it had been Azula. She was the one who had texted her first. The message itself wasn’t even that bad. It was rather mundane, almost pleasant actually. The Azula version of an apology for skipping out on her. She decided that Azula must have been lonely or desperate. She had texted again after that, asking ‘Mai are you there?’ And then an, ‘believe it or not, I don’t know what I did.’ And finally after three days of being cold shouldered, ‘fine, don’t talk, there are plenty of other goths around.’

It would seem that she was replaceable. She felt like she deserved it. If she hadn’t jumped to conclusions, if she hadn’t assumed it was Zuko then she might have had some company in this lonely house. Well, that was not strictly true; she and Tom-Tom would have gone for a drive to Ozai’s estate. Instead she further isolated herself.

She counted the texts, four from Azula, six from her mother, three from her father, four from Zuko.

Her arm had seventeen new cuts.

Small things. Small, thin dripping things. Slashes that had just as much depth as her decidedly bland personality.

She couldn’t answer Tom-Tom when he asked why she was wearing long sleeves in the summer. God forbid he take a chapter from her book in his later years.

.oOo.

Her arm has taken so much abuse already but she runs the razor across it again. It was not her usual razor. No, this time she drew blood in the shower, telling herself that she was ‘just shaving’ like a normal teen.

“Showers are good for you, they help you relax.” Claimed every magazine ever. Claimed all of the internet sources. Showers were apparently the ultimate self-care. She momentarily forgot that she wasn’t a typical teen. For her, showers were time to think. Time to realize just how foolish her actions had been.

Zuko had texted her again, a long and detailed spiel about how his father had only been home for a little while but had already slammed him into a wall among other things. About how his dad was hollering to a magnitude that even Azula was flinching. About how his dad had flown completely off the handle this time, reminded him that he was a ‘sad, useless sack of shit’ and stormed off to go on his third?—Mai didn’t know the exact number—business trip that summer. He sealed the message off by telling her that he hit up Chan again. That he would stop if she talked to him.

So she did.

She pressed the razor down harder and dragged, removing not just hair, but a few layers of skin. She cried out. She heard Tom-Tom’s little voice calling her name. “You ‘kay, Mai?” He asked.

It made her feel even more awful, she was failing as a sister just as she was failing as a friend for Azula and a girlfriend for Zuko. Not to mention as a daughter. She dragged the razor down her other arm with just as much force, that time keeping her cry muffled. But Tom-Tom called for her again so she replied, “I’ll be out in a moment and then you can get your bath.”

Without the water to wash it away, the blood was flowing free. It was a fight to get it to stop and she feared that she had dug too deep that time.

“Hurry up Mai, I wanna get squeaky clean!” He sounded so joyful. He didn’t know and that made her allt he more desperate to make it stop. She unraveled more than half of the toilet paper trying to soak the blood. She had underestimated how much damage a simple shaving razor could do.

“Just a second Tom…” she was fighting back tears as she pressed her towel to her arm. “I’ll be right out Tom…”

.oOo.

She was a rare breed in that she was excited for the school year. She couldn’t dwell on her demons if she was pouring all of her brainpower into her studies. Last year her problems had her one A away from the high honor role. This year she could see straight A’s and a hollow sense of meaningless accomplishment that her parents wouldn’t pay any mind to.

So far though, it has been all gossip. By lunch time, she knew all about Katara’s little sex scandal and about Suki’s surprise. She knew without having seen Azula, that the volleyball captain was no longer so. That apparently, she was no longer the pinnacle of beauty. Just as apparently the girl hadn’t even set foot in the school yet and people were just taking Usha’s word for it. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes. Azula had a very large and long bitch streak, but Usha. That girl was all bitch with no redeeming qualities.

She hadn’t even gotten to finish her spaghetti when her phone rang. She stole a glance around the cafeteria, deeming the coast clear, she picked it up. “I’m going to need you to come over tonight.” Zuko requested.

“Zuko, I have to watch Tom-Tom, you know that.”

“You can bring him over.”

“Can I? Your room is the last thing I want him to see.”

“I’ll…” He paused, trying to find the right way to phrase things. “I’ll clean up a bit.”

“Zuko, I promised Tom-Tom I would take him to a friend’s house.”

She knew that he was going to snap before he did and held the phone away from her ear. “I’m your boyfriend! You can’t make time for me? I really need you right now and you’re just going to leave me by myself. Mai I need you. If you don’t come over—”

That time she decided that she has had enough. "You know what, Zuko? No, I have my own things to deal with…" She paused. "How about this? How about instead of…” She could feel a pair of invasive eyes on her. Could sense a set of curious ears listening in, ready to bring fresh gossip to a talkative mouth. “Hold on."

She fixed her glare at the eavesdropper. She was relieved to meet the gaze of Katara, the girl wasn’t a gossiper, she was one of many topics of gossip. Still, Mai didn’t apricate the intrusion. She saw her mouth an apology, wincing and squirming under her own intense stare.

"Whatever." She picked up her phone again. Her retort for Zuko was well and lost on her. She had the mind to mutter a quick, ‘thanks a bunch’ to Katara, but the girl had already picked up her silly backpack and fled the scene. “The answer is no Zuko, do what you want in your alone time.”

He always left her to her destruction, why should she do him any different?

#Avatar #Mai #Azula #Zuko #Katara #Sokka #Suki #TyLee #Toph #Aang #Fanfiction

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italicwatches · 6 years

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My Hero Academia, season 2 - Episode 13.5

Yes, that’s right people, we’re coming back to My Hero Academia! If you’ve been watching my newly formed WIW Tumblr, you’ll know that I’ve been reposting the first season’s logs over there. It’s all been in preparation for this, this moment right here!

Of course, it’s been a long time since we did the first MHA season. The show was fairly fresh then, a lot of fandom stuff hadn’t entirely coalesced. So I expect there to be some minor shifts as I swing back into this; the nickname Deku stuck a lot harder than our hero’s actual name, that sort of thing, so we’ll probably just be giving in and using it. We’ll see how it all hashes out.

And given how long it’s been, I figure a soft re-entry is probably for the best. Luckily, the producers thought the same thing…So we’re starting this off with a recap, in My Hero Academia episode 13.5! Here we GO!

-We begin in clear blue skies…Aaah yes, it’s the start of the series. A certain green haired little boy laid out on the ground after getting his ass beat. His life started with a certain video. It started his research, young Izuku’s constant need to know everything he could…

-And a quick rundown of how the world works. Roughly 80% of the population have some superpower, a Quirk, and a significant fraction of those have enough major capacity to become a Hero, a government-employed protector of the peace. And of course the greatest hero is All Might, the Superman analog of the setting. The very symbol of peace. Of course, you must know that now, Izuku, who now goes by Deku, is working his ass off to become a hero. The story you’re about to hear has a happy ending.

-Because yeah his life started off rough. That fateful doctor’s visit where he learned he had no Quirk. He just broke, at the age of four. He got stuck with the name Deku, as a hateful mockery from a certain bully. But then, came, that, day. The day that changed everything.

-The day when he met All Might. The day when he almost had his hopes dashed…But instead, he learned the truth of All Might, the way his powers had come to a severe limit and end. He saw that even a hero could be laid low, and the real, true risks of this job…

-But it was that same day when he threw himself into the fray. When his body moved before his mind, and the spark of genuine heroism burned bright in his heart. Looking back, he can see a thousand reasons why he did what he did. But in the moment, there was only one thing that mattered. Someone was in pain. Someone needed help. And he reached out a hand.

-It was that single action that changed everything. Because it was what got All Might to see him as not just worthy of taking on the title of hero…But worthy of becoming his successor. Of course, that fateful day was not the happy end to his story…It was only a new beginning.

-First was ten months of hell, working to his absolute limits to build a body that could just barely hold the power of One For All inside of it. Then was the entrance exam into UA, the finest heroism school in the nation.

-And then…Was the new hell that was his schooling. Learning to contain a power built for someone twice his size. Dealing with the same man who made his life hell. Bakugo Katsuki, Kacchan to his friends and also Deku. Which all came to a head in their confrontation in the hero test…

-Of course, it wasn’t all bad. He made friends. Comrades in arms. Honorable rivals. All the kinds of people who, in their own ways, push you to be the best you that you can be. And of course, his research continued, learning everything he could about the people he was standing besides…

-Katsuki, whose Explosion quirk lets him sweat out a nitroglycerin-esque substance from his palms and kick it off on command. He’s a hell of a fighter, and top of the charts whenever asses-kicked is your metric.

-Or Uraraka Ochaco. Her Zero-Gravity quirk can make anything she touches, including her own body, weightless. The only problem is that it also effects her sense of motion, so overuse(especially on herself) can cause potent seasickness. Pro tip, Deku has a crush on her, and Ochaco wants to see him get all shirtless and sweaty when confronting Katsuki.

-Then there’s Iida Tenya, He’s a fast runner to begin with, and his Engine quirk kicks that into overdrive. This guy never skips leg day.

-Todoroki Shoto. We called him Super-Zuko before and that might still stick. He can freeze with one hand and burn with the other, but we’ve so far only ever seen his ice powers. Just how strong his fire can be, remains to be seen…

-Asui Tsuyu, Tsu to her friends. Her quirk is being best girl. …I mean she can do frog stuff. Underwater movement, high jumping, sticking to walls, long tongue, you get the idea. Frog-chan, Frog-chan, does whatever a frog can~

-Or there’s Mineta Minoru, who is trash. Also the balls on his head can stick to stuff but if he pulls too many he starts bleeding. But mostly, he’s trash.

-And those are the only ones we’re actually gonna get names and details for! Instead, let’s talk about the teachers and adults.

-Like Aizawa Shota. His Erasure quirk can shut down any Quirk he stares down, and he has control over the special cloth he wears as a scarf around his neck. (It is unclear whether that’s part of his Quirk, or if someone with a fabric-related one made it for him)

-Naturally we have to talk about All Might, the number one hero. His One For All quirk adds more power to itself every time it passes from one hand to the next, and he’s refined his version of it into a c-stick-loving array of Smash attacks.

-Deku himself has, naturally, inherited that power…But runs into the problem that his body just cannot handle it. The best he’s done so far is “just” tearing up the muscles he used into a horrible bruise that he can still kiiinda move, and most of the time, he straight up fractures bones. Yet it is a power that must be put to use…Because it is not just heroes that inhabit this world.

-For whenever heroes rise, there will always be villains.

-The class of UA learned that all too well this last year, when a series of villains set out a plan to kill All Might during a training exercise. Instead, they ended up trapping the children of class 1-A in a rescue area turned war zone…

-All led by Shigaraki Tomura, leader of the League of Villains. He seems to be able to disintegrate anything he touches.

-He brought an anti-All Might weapon, the bioweapon Nomu, and All Might himself was forced to face him down while at the very edges of his limits. A thing built to stand against All Might at 100 percent, forced him while reduced to pour in, to reach past his best, past what was once his best, to draw on enough raw power to strike him into low orbit.

-They made it out alive. They endured their first encounter with villains. And they came out of it with an even fiercer resolve, to be the wall that would keep such evil from ever harming innocent civilians.

-But right now, they have something else on their minds. The grand sports festival is upon them. A chance for them all to test themselves, to prove their capacity…Everyone’s got their own reasons for being here. Everyone’s got their own questions about what comes in the future.

-Deku himself doesn’t entirely know what the true depth of being a hero means. What justice means, in a world clearly still struggling with it. What the next day will contain. But he knows this: It’s okay to stumble, and fall. It’s okay to cry, to despair and rage. But what matters is that when push comes to shove, when your back is to the wall, you give everything you can, and you follow your heart. And when you’ve given all you can…You reach deep. You reach into your very core. And you find that one, last drop, to change everything!

-And that’s the wrap-up…Wrapped!

That’s right, we’re back, baby! A nice little recap episode to put the pieces down and remind us of some useful bits and bobs. And now with those laid out, we’re in the perfect scenario to dive full in on MHA’s second season, starting proper with episode FOURTEEN! Wait for it!

#where I watch #recap #anime #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

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seyaryminamoto · 7 years

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Do you think that if Azula had been given the same benefit of a doubt as Zuko, could she have followed a similar character arc?

Similar, yes, but of course, not the same.

As is well known, Azula and Zuko are different in enough regards, and they have many experiences and personality traits that are worlds apart. So an Azula who gets opportunities to find a new life, a better one, would likely resemble Zuko in her frequent rejection of said opportunities, but for widely different reasons.

Zuko rejected Iroh’s many attempts to reach out to him because he was holding onto the image of a future that he had built for himself. It wasn’t a matter of pride, or even of morality for him, as became clear as the show progressed. He forgot all about morality often, putting that at the very back of his mind, because at many points of his Books 1 and 2 character arc, he was a “means-justify-the-ends” sort of person. So he would shut down his conscience and act, simple as that.

Azula, if given opportunities to change, would reject them just as Zuko did, but for a different reason. The main one, and first one, being: why would she want to be any different from who she is? The way she’d see it, at first (especially if it happens really early in the show), she’s on the good side. She’s on the winning team. She has to prove her father she’s the greatest asset he’s got, and she’s determined to defeat all enemies in her way. If those enemies told her to come around and join them, her initial response would likely be laughter and the most blatant refusal there could ever be.

But as Azula starts to fail, and continues to fail through the second season, there are openings that a writer could have taken advantage of to flesh out her character and her doubts. There are chances that could be taken in Book 3 too, to make her question what it really means to be a leader. There are many instances through the show that could have helped Azula rethink her ideals… but of course, we know she wasn’t meant to be that protagonic. So I figure that’s why the most Azula-centric episode they dared afford was The Beach.

Azula’s development needs something that Zuko’s didn’t really have: she’d need to have the seed of doubt planted in her differently, as she was only a witness to Ozai’s burning of his son and not his direct victim. She needs to be given solid reasons to believe that Ozai could do this to her too, and she also needs to know that turning against him doesn’t mean losing everything that matters. How to accomplish this? Through friendships with the Gaang members that start begrudging but end up being genuine, I think. If situations like the one from The Blue Spirit happened more often, such as with Azula getting stuck in the Swamp with the Gaang, or maybe caught up in misadventures in the Desert with them, there would be a solid chance for them to make her rethink her place in the Fire Nation.

Azula’s growth would also need to be different because, unlike Zuko, she needs to learn to differentiate her father and the Fire Nation. She needs to realize the Fire Lord is not his nation, a throne isn’t everything there is to ruling. She needs to stop and think about what really matters to her, the greatness of her nation or the greatness of her father. Does she want what’s best for her people, or for herself?

Brought to question these things, Azula could really undergo an important evolution that indeed, might mirror Zuko’s (I can definitely see her choosing to stay as she is at first, to stay by her father’s side, probably out of fear of change), but eventually she would come to see she had the wrong understanding of the world for a very long time.

Working a character arc like this could be a lot more effective as a redemption, in my humble opinion, but it also means there’s likely going to be a lot of people who will continue to bring up her past mistakes as unforgivable faults, regardless of whether her redemption made her accountable for everything or not. When you say someone went from bad to good, it makes the journey harder and more rewarding for some viewers, but a large number of them will still likely think that the redeemed character didn’t deserve the chance to change because they did that one thing that was so cruel that they lost all rights to be redeemed for it. Meanwhile, stating that someone was always good deep down but has been misled in life ironically makes the same people think that this other character can be forgiven for everything wrong they ever did… which leads me to wonder if they simply do not grasp the meaning of redemption arcs. If they were always oh so good, maybe it’s not a redemption.

But basically, Azula’s growth would require a deeper change of heart than Zuko’s. Iroh’s implied evolution could resemble the potential development Azula could have, despite we don’t know much about Iroh’s development. But just like Azula, Iroh was a perfectly comfortable prince who set out to tear down Ba Sing Se, and then was the subject to such painful loss that he turned his life around completely. I wouldn’t have Azula losing a child or anything (NEVER!) but just like Iroh, she needs her priorities to change drastically, and her development needs to be triggered out of wanting to help her nation, first and foremost, rather than doing it for her own sake...

So, if Azula had the same number of chances, from characters and writers alike, she could have developed and grown too and her morality compass could have been straightened out nicely. It wouldn’t be 100% the same as Zuko’s redemption, it would be something of its own, but she definitely could have been redeemed if given a chance. She has the potential for it, hands down.

#markhamillz

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