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nano--raptor · 4 years

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come back, come back to me

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 1772

Warnings: Smut, sex, masturbating, porn without plot, maybe the tiniest plot if you squint, alcohol mention, Bucky being way too goddamn sexy, as per usual.

A/N: Hello lovelies, welcome to another smutty drabble written for @the-ss-horniest-book-club with the prompt below! Thank you @prunes-said-bucky for all your delicious prompts, we love them! Enjoy, thank you so much for reading!😘

He was driving you crazy. It’d been a few months since you’d last slept with anyone and today of all days it was really hitting you. It was a regular Friday night at the compound, and most of you were home from the latest mission and able to relax together with a laid back evening and drinks. Everything had been normal, except for some reason Bucky looked extra rugged and extra sexy, and you just couldn’t stop the dirty thoughts about him.

The two of you had hooked up casually before, and normally you didn’t find yourself feeling so horny, but tonight everything he did had you inwardly groaning and squeezing your thighs together.

It was easy to excuse yourself from the party feigning a headache, you were sure you’d been making pained expressions all night, and after finishing your drink you set the glass on the bar and made your way back to the living quarters. Tonight, however, you went straight to Bucky’s room, still having a key that he’d never asked you to return..

You let yourself in and stood for a moment in the stillness, letting your eyes adjust and sighing at the calm, comforting scent of his apartment. You kicked off your shoes and tiptoed through the living room, slowly pushing his bedroom door open. A small moan actually left your mouth and you couldn’t help but crawl into his bed, burying under the blankets. His scent surrounded you, it was intoxicating, and while it helped momentarily, it did nothing to quench your thirst. Thankfully he’d probably find you soon, and then, well, you didn’t have a plan for what would happen then. But you were sure you’d be able to figure something out.

After what seemed like an eternity, even though it was probably only an hour, you heard the apartment door open and Bucky shuffle in, then the sound of it closing. Complete silence followed, and then the bedroom door was slowly pushed open, Bucky having silently crossed his suite upon realizing he wasn’t alone. His stealth gave you shivers and he chuckled, a low sound, that filled the room and nearly made you shiver again.

“Did we switch rooms without me knowing? Or did you get lost? Or,” his voice trailed off and he approached the bed, pushing the blanket back just enough to cup your face. “Or are you exactly where you want to be?” His voice washed over you like honey, low and thick and oh so sinful.

You internally slapped yourself at the soft whine that left your throat from his touch, it’d just been so long. Bucky simply hummed and striped his tshirt off, crawling in next to you and hauling you into his arms. He held you tightly and kissed you hard, knowing exactly what you needed. You melted into him, moaning into his mouth, desperate for his touch. When you finally parted, you were gasping and breathless.

“Bucky I’m sorry, I-” He stopped you with another, gentler kiss, and pulled back to look at your face in the darkness.

“It’s alright doll, you don’t have to apologize.” You smiled softly and trailed a finger along his stubbled jawline.

“I’ve missed you. And I really, really need you right now.”

“I’ve missed you too, darlin’. But I will say that I can't be held liable for things that happen to women I find in my bed.” You could see his grin even in the dark. He was hard against your thigh, and his hands slipped under your shirt, setting your skin on fire as he rubbed them up your back. You didn’t even realize you were whining out loud until Bucky chuckled again, lifting your shirt over your head and tossing it aside. He easily unbuttoned your jeans and pushed them down over your hips before rolling you onto your back and kissing you hard again. He rolled his hips against yours, the bulge in his jeans grinding into your core and you actually gasped out loud and the delicious friction. His lips moved down to attack your throat, licking and sucking the delicate skin, still rocking his hips against you. He must be able to feel your wet heat through the fabric of your underwear. The thought made you shiver.

Bucky sat back on his heels just out of your reach, his eyes watching yours while slowly dragging the fly on his jeans down. Your eyes followed his fingers and your mouth went dry when he reached into his boxers to pull himself out. His hand wrapped around his cock, thick and hard, already leaking at the tip, and you wanted him to push that tip into you so badly that you can't help but squirm while you watched. Thinking about the way he'd stretch you made you moan and you run your hands over your body, craving his touch. Bucky smirked and stroked himself slowly.

"What's wrong baby girl?" he cooed, slowly working his fist over himself, squeezing the bright red tip, and back down again.

"I want you to touch me," you whined. He bit his lip as you ran your hands over your stomach and hips, down onto your thighs. His eyes flashed as he held your gaze, his voice low, husky, and shooting straight to your core.

"Why don't you touch yourself doll?" You stared for a moment, nibbling your lips, before giving him your sultriest smile and slowly pushing your panties down. Trailing your hands back up your thighs you ghosted them between your legs, spreading yourself open and slipping them into your wetness. Closing your eyes you moaned quietly as you stroked yourself, hearing a groan from Bucky too as he watched.

It didn’t take long to lose yourself in your own touch, your legs falling open and fingers moving expertly around your pussy, stroking from your entrance to your clit and back again. It felt damn good, and normally thoughts of Bucky watching or touching you would be enough to get you going, but tonight he was right fucking here, and you were needy as fuck, and all of it was making your whole body prickly, arousal shooting through the roof.

“Fuck doll you need to be in my bed more often. Look at you,” Bucky’s voice almost sounded strained, he was just as turned on as you were, the bed shaking from the steady motions of his fist over his cock. The wobble slowed and you felt him shifting, crawling closer to you. You continued your languid strokes, but a gasp interrupted your sighs when you felt cold metal fingers dance along the inside of your thigh.

“Look at my horny and sex starved little doll. You’re dripping onto my sheets.” He was right. You could feel your arousal dripping down but you didn’t care, it felt so good, everything was so soft and swollen and wet that it just made you feel more desperate. Your breath caught as his fingers brushed yours, flicking them quickly through your folds and then pulling away again. You forced your eyes open just in time to see him raise his fingers to his mouth, licking them clean, before reaching down again to swipe at the droplets that had dripped down from your entrance. Your fingers slowed, unable to take your eyes off his lips as he sucked his fingers clean again. The thought of him tasting you made a whine pull from the back of your throat, and suddenly you couldn’t think of anything other than him. Now.

Grasping the back of his neck you pulled him closer, but instead of kissing him you raised your other hand to his lips and he sucked your fingers into his mouth without hesitation, holding your gaze again while he licked your juices off of them. As soon as he finished he crashed his mouth to yours in a messy, desperate, open mouthed kiss, shoving his jeans down and kicking them off. You could taste yourself on his tongue and if you weren’t already throbbing with want, you’d want that heavy cock in your mouth first, but for tonight that would have to wait. Bucky crawled over you, brushing his tip against your pussy, and he shifted to raise one of your legs up, his hand smoothly firmly along your thigh. He held it and pulled back just enough so he could watch your face as he finally sunk into you. “Ohh yeah baby, just like that sweetheart.” He felt so fucking good that you were moaning and fluttering around him already, adjusting to the size and the stretch and the feeling of finally having him inside you. You threw your head back, clutching his shoulders and rocking your hips as best you could, trying to get him to move and set a rhythm.

“Please Bucky,” you breathed. “Fuck me.” Then you felt his mouth on yours again, smirking, and chuckling, turning to a grunt as he thrust into you, setting a rough pace. Having your leg raised gave him the perfect angle to get seemingly as deep as possible, and soon you were crying out as every single thrust drove him into that one perfect spot that made you see stars.

“Buck - Bucky, ahhhh, fuck, you feel amazing.” One of your hands found its way into his hair and you clutched a handful, tugging on it tightly, making Bucky hiss.

“You too doll, fucking hell,” You could tell he was close, his thrusts becoming more desperate as he chased that release. Yours was building too, every drive of his cock pounding into you pushing you closer and closer to that edge. You needed it, almost more than you needed air, and it wasn’t long before Bucky was slamming into you, suddenly stilling as he throbbed inside you, his hot cum painting your walls. You’re pretty sure you actually screamed as you came too, soaking him, clinging to him as you rode out the waves of your orgasm, rocking back and forth together.

Fuck, you’d missed this. You’d missed him.

After coming down from your high, the two of you lay tangled up together, a sweaty and panting mess. You wanted to ask him why you’d never been more than just a hookup, but at the same time you didn’t quite want to go there just yet.

“Buck?”

“Hmm?” He sounded relaxed and sleepy, and it made you smile to yourself in the dark.

“If I were to show up in your bed more often, what would you say?” Bucky nuzzled into your neck, pulling you even tighter against himself.

“I’d say hell yeah doll. Right where you belong.”

-----

Tags! ❤️ @sfreeborn @jobean12-blog @crushedbyhyperbole @mannatgalhotra @bubbabarnes @buckysthing @marvelgirl7 @ikaris-whore @aesthetical-bucky @littleredstarfish @godofplumsandthunder @winterboobear11 @stuckyinamoose @our-whitetulips-us @throwmyheartawayagain @cristie24 @jesslovesyouall @buckybarney @my-own-private-library @hawksmagnolia @peaceinourtime82 @infinity-saga @kenzieam @sallycanwait68 @hailmary-yramliah @ballyhoobarnes @earthworthies @tinymalscoffee @this-kitten-is-smitten @buckosawrus @thefandomimagines @kianifan

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes x reader fluff #hbc drunk drabbles #the ss horniest book club #the ss hbc #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfic #drabbles #my writing

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winter-dayz · 3 years

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Treat You Better - Help Me Forget Part II

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader (ft. Kim Seokjin) Non-Idol AU Genre: Fluff; Smut Words: 2170 Warnings: sexual content (dom!jungkook, sub!reader, marking, public sex, female receiving oral, vaginal penetration); strong language

Help Me Forget - PART I

“You really didn’t have to do all this, Jin,” I smiled shyly as he led me into the charity gala. “I would’ve been fine with something simple.”

The paparazzi bulbs flashed, blinding us as we entered the building. It was only our second date, and—after our first had been to a busy restaurant, one he owned of course—I was really hoping for something a bit more low-key to get to know one another.

Jin gave me his award-winning smile, holding the door open to me, “Nonsense. Someone as beautiful as you should be taken out and shown off.”

The ballroom was decorated elegantly, and everyone was dressed to the nines. It was hard not to be starstruck when everywhere I turned was glitz, glam, and gorgeous celebrities; but it was too much for me. I tried to stick by Jin’s side, but that was hard to do when he was so much more extroverted than me, constantly flitting from social group to social group. After a while, I excused myself to the bathroom in desperate need for the break from meeting a million new faces. I slipped away, standing in a close-to-deserted hallway, my head back against the wall and eyes shut tight.

“Finally get away from your new boy toy?” Someone snarked as they approached.

My eyebrows crinkled, and my defenses went up. Jin and I weren’t dating—we hadn’t even known each other very long—but I wasn’t just going to let a stranger insult him. I froze before I could quip a comeback, realizing who stood before me in a sleek black striped suit.

Coming back to myself, I smirked, “Oh, Kookie… If anyone is the boy toy, it would be you.”

His eyes narrowed, and he stepped closer to me. Jungkook leaned in, gently grasping my wrists and holding them by my sides. His breath tickled my neck, and I felt chills drift down my spine from his proximity. “Baby is being sassy. Do I need to remind you who’s in charge?”

My breath hitched, but I didn’t respond. I didn’t need to, though; I could feel his smirk and knew he heard me.

“Hmm…” Jungkook pulled away abruptly, but the look on his face meant trouble. “I guess you don’t really need me anymore, huh.”

“You act like we were a couple, Jungkook.” He just shrugged, his smile falling. I narrowed my eyes at him, noticing the way he kept glancing in the direction I knew Jin was waiting for me. “Kookie… are you jealous?”

His head snapped to me; his gaze sharp, “Now, why would I be jealous, baby? You were mine first.”

“I was yours, was I?”

He nodded simply, causing me to giggle. His lips pouted briefly, and he mumbled, “Yeah… You were. Then you stopped calling.”

I cocked my head. Jungkook and I never really went on dates. After the first time, we hooked up on a fairly regular basis. Most nights Jungkook would come over to my apartment, bringing take-out with him, and we’d indulge in food, movies, and sex. A few times, I had gone over to his house, but it was less often since he was in the suburbs and my place was closer to both of us after work on Fridays. Slowly though, I stopped inviting him over, wanting more than the friends-with-benefits situation we had comfortably fallen into.

“Yeah, I guess I did.”

His pouty lips pursed more as his eyebrows crinkled in confusion, “Why? Were you not having fun?”

“I was… I just–” I huffed, exasperated, “The sex was fun, but it was a way to forget our exes. I did that; I moved on. And, we’re adults, Kookie. I just wanted something more serious than whatever it was that we were.”

“We could’ve been serious. You just had to say so.” Jungkook moved closer, backing me against the wall again.

I rolled my eyes, “C’mon, you and me? I was the random girl you picked up at a bar after getting cheated on. I was just a booty call.”

“Maybe at first, but I really started to like you.” His fingers glided up my side, tracing small patterns along my hips and waist as he slowly wrapped them around to my back.

“Okay, but you never even took me on dates. How was I supposed to know you liked me?”

Jungkook leaned in, his lips brushing my cheek. He moved, casually nuzzling his nose into my jawline. “You don’t like going out, especially on Friday night. You always say that everywhere is too busy and noisy on the weekends. You like to have a glass of wine and food that is, and I quote, ‘both delicious and terrible,’ while you watch a movie to unwind from work…” I smiled, realizing how closely he had been paying attention to the things I said and my habits the past few months. “I assumed the best kind of dates for you would be ones where you can be comfortable.”

“But… We always had sex. Always. It’s kind of hard not to assume we were friends-with-benefits when every time we saw each other, something happened.”

He let out a low chuckle, pressing a rough kiss to my neck. “I’m not going to apologize. You’re sexy and incredibly hard to resist. Even with your bare face and messy hair and those cute onesies you like to wear.” Jungkook nipped at my neck, a moan escaping and causing him to shudder. “It seems you aren’t too opposed to that though…”

“Jungkook…” I whispered, my breath coming out in pants as I felt the heat he always caused start to build.

“Say the word, baby.” Jungkook stared intently, his forehead against mine. “You say the word, and I’ll take you away from here right now.”

I whimpered, feeling his grip tighten on my waist, “Please Kookie…”

We didn’t even make it out of the venue. We made it to the front hall when Jungkook realized that neither of us had driven here, and it was pouring rain. Not wanting to wait for a cab, the two of us somehow ended up hidden away in a coat room.

Jungkook had me pushed roughly against the door, memories of our first night together flashed behind my eyes. Except instead of my legs wrapped tightly around his tiny waist, he had one of them draped over his shoulder as he kneeled before me, devouring me like he’d never eaten.

“Koo– I’m… I’m gonna…” I trailed off with a deep moan as he sucked my clit harshly.

“Cum. Now.” He growled between my legs.

My head thudded into the door as I threw it back and white burst behind my eyes. His tongue never slowed the brutal pace. Not until I was twitching and squirming, oversensitivity having settled in. Even then, he continued to slowly lick strips over my slit and press gentle kisses on my swollen clit. I pushed at his head, trying to get him away from my sensitive area. Finally, he relented with a chuckle, pressing kisses to the deep purpling marks that now littered my thighs. He always loved to mark what’s his.

“I can’t believe you just ate me out in a coat closet. At a charity gala.” I puffed, still trying to regain my composure.

Jungkook stood, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his forehead to mine. He pressed light pecks to my lips before chuckling, “Please. Most of the people here don’t care about the charity. They probably don’t even know what it’s for. It’s all just for celebrity exposure and prestige.”

“Well… I’m here, and I’m not like that… And Jin’s not like that either.”

I felt Jungkook’s grip tighten; his eyes narrowed with a small growl, “Please baby. You’ve been missing for how long now, and he hasn’t come to look for you? Hasn’t even tried to message or call you and see where you disappeared to?”

My eyes narrowed in response, lips pursed, albeit playfully, “You’re one to talk… Your date is probably worried sick.”

“Ahh…” Jungkook grinned brattily, “So that’s really what you want to know? Who I came with? Maybe I’m not the only one who’s jealous.”

“I never said that I was wondering…”

“You didn’t have to, Y/N. I know you.” He smirked, “Sorry to disappoint, but I actually came alone. And not of my own will either. I’m just here to fill in for my boss’s absence.” Jungkook leaned into my ear, warm breath puffing across my skin, his fingers skimming back down my waist and down to my heat. I was dripping, both from Jungkook’s previous onslaught and from the tension that he always brought out. “I’d much rather be curled up in our sheets, or on one of our sofas, fucking until neither of us can stay awake any more.”

I sucked in a harsh breath, legs trembling as he slid his middle finger into me, “Then… Shouldn’t you wait until we get there… Seems much more comfortable than this closet…”

“I told you, you’re irresistible… But if you want me to stop, just say the word, baby.” He started to withdraw, and a shot of panic washed over me at the thought of him not touching me. I grabbed his wrist, effectively clamping his tattooed hand between my thighs. Jungkook smirked devilishly, “Say the words, Y/N.”

“Fuck me, Jungkook.”

“With pleasure,” he growled, pulling us down to the soft carpeted floor.

My dress was pushed around my waist; his jacket thrown to the side and white shirt unbuttoned, revealing his cut waist and trim muscles.

“You’re so beautiful, baby.” Jungkook traced one hand along my thighs, applying gentle pressure on the bruises littering around and causing a pleasurable pain. His other hand languidly stroked himself, prepping to stretch me in the way I loved.

He leaned down, placing a soft kiss on my nose and then resting his forehead against me as he pushed himself in, the delightful burn I had come to miss making me gasp. “F– Fuck Kookie… You feel so…” I moaned out as he started dragging himself in and out.

“I know, baby. You do too.” He leaned away, his eyes rolling back with a groan. “You’re so fucking tight. I’ve missed you so much, baby… I’m not gonna last long.”

He grabbed my legs, hoisting them both over his shoulders and leaned away. The new angle allowed him to speed up and thrust rapidly into my g-spot, the intensity was almost too much. I had to throw my arm across my mouth, biting down harshly to prevent from screaming out. It felt so good, it was easy to forget we could quickly get caught.

At a loss for words and brow furrowed with a sheen of sweat, Jungkook slammed into me and rolled perfectly with each thrust, pushing both of us closer to the peak.

Jungkook groaned, nearly a growl, loudly, “Shit pretty baby. I never wanna stop. I never wanna feel anyone else. No one could feel as tight and warm as you do.” He punctuated every sentence with a punishing thrust. My body started to lose feeling, all except for the tight, hot bundle in my core threatening to unravel.

I was barely coherent, begging Jungkook as my hands tightened in his dark roots, “Oh god, Jung– Jungkoooook… Please, plea– I wan– I need to…”

“Yeah baby, you wanna cum?”

“Y– Yes, please, make me cum…”

“Are you sure you don’t want Jin?”

I shook my head rapidly, grasping onto Jungkook like he was my lifeline. And with the way my body was teetering so dangerously to falling over the edge, he was. “No, Jungkook. Only want you. Pl– Please, cum with me… Wanna feel you…”

He licked a strip up my neck, biting down harshly as his pace resumed fast and hard. “Anything for my pretty baby.”

It didn’t take him long before we were both exploding, stars bursting and bodies writhing against one another. It was better than I remembered.

“Y/N,” he whispered softly into my hair. I hummed, nuzzling against his chest while we laid, lifeless, on the coat room floor. “Go on a date with me? A real one? I– I’ll even take you to a fancy gala or a nice restaurant or a cliché cinema if that’s what you want. I just… I want to show you that I can treat you better. That I deserve a fair chance to be the man you want.”

I smiled gently, peeking up at Jungkook’s nervous face. He was hardly vulnerable like this, often masking that softness with sexy smirks, bratty remarks, or general goofiness. “Kookie, you can take me on as many dates as you want, and we don’t have to do any of that over-the-top, cliché stuff. You were right earlier; I do like the simple dates… It’s enough for me to know that you want something real. I just want you to be mine.”

“I’ve been yours since that first night, pretty baby.”

#bangtan sonyeondan #bts #jeon jungkook #reader #jeon jungkook x reader #bangtan sonyeondan x reader #bts x reader #smut #non-idol au #multishot #smutshots

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demonwifey · 3 years

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Mommy’s Kissing Who?🎄🎅🏻

Hey guys! Hope you all had a safe and amazing holiday! So this idea literally came to me right after listening to “I Saw Mommy Kissing Beetlejuice” and knew I had to post it for you guys to see. While you’re reading this just keep in mind I didn’t make the reader’s daughter Skye even though she was the one signing it. I’m bad at names so you’ll see the daughter go by she and her for the entire thing. Think about if you had a daughter and what you would name her. Hope you guys enjoy!💚💜🖤

Beetlejuice x black+fem!reader

Warnings: cursing, hints of sexual themes

Word count: 3,688

“I can’t believe I’m gonna ask this but, Beej, just please try to be on your best behavior.” You practically begged, clasping your hands together near your chest for added effect.

The demon man let out a hearty laugh before snapping his suspenders against his chest. His costume was like a mix between his normal suit and an actual Santa costume: red and white striped, his regular boots, and a Santa hat to top it off. You thought his overgrown green beard would’ve been a giveaway to your child at least.

“Come on, babes. Give me a little credit! I’m gonna be the best damn Santa these twerps have ever seen.” He reassured you. His confidence should’ve made you feel at ease but it didn’t. No that it mattered, it was too late to turn back now. You both looked up as the Scout Leader announced his arrival from outside the small room you two were in, basically queuing him to come out.

“It’s Showtime, babes.” He said to you and gave a flirtatious wink before walking out to the young girls yelling in excitement.

You watched as they all scurried to huddle around him. You watched your daughter closely, thankfully she didn’t recognize Beej and the other girls didn’t notice anything off. Maybe he was right, you should’ve given him more credit. You straightened your dress and fixed your hair out before making your way over the other parents as they all watched with joy.

“HO HO HO! Merry Christmas, you little shits!” You heard him yell loudly across the room.

You stopped in your tracks and your eyes widened almost comically at the sentence you just heard. You prayed to any other worldly being out there that it was only your imagination. When you looked up at the other parents, you could see it wasn’t. Their faces matched yours and they quickly turned their eyes towards you. Yeah, this was going to be one long night.

****

You didn’t know how you could’ve ended up in a worse position. You were in charge of one thing for the Girl Scout’s Christmas party: get someone to play Santa Claus and have him hand out the girls merit badges. All the other parent’s handled things like food, decorations, etc. It’s not like it was a hard task for you to do. Hell, you found and booked a guy at the beginning of the month. Everything was fine on your end, until two days ago. Your Santa Claus called saying he was sick with the flu. You’d already had a few mishaps with Girl Scout events in the past, so this was your chance to show the other parents that you weren’t a total screw up. Yet here you were on your laptop, scrambling through different websites to try and find a new person to play Santa.

“Hey Mommy, which shoes should I wear for the party tomorrow?” You heard your daughter’s perky voice ask from behind you. As a reflex, you quickly slammed your laptop screen down and looked at her with wide eyes. She stood behind the couch with each hand holding one shoe from a different pair.

“Hmm, I think I like the black ones better. They’ll match your badge belt.” You faked a casual tone.

She looked at the shoe you chose, like she was thinking for a moment, before nodding in excited agreement and running back to her room. You strained a smile as you watched her go before letting out a frustrated sigh and once you heard her door close. You were doing this, not just for the other girls, but for her as well. Your daughter always got so excited when someone mentioned Santa. How shitty would you feel if you had to watch her face turn to disappointment when they were all told Santa wasn’t coming? The mental image alone made your heart sink to the floor. You leaned forward to drop your head into your hands and let out another sigh; this one being much louder.

“Hey, keep making noises like that and I’m gonna get turned on, babes.” You heard a familiar voice coming from the side of you.

You didn’t even need to move your head to know it was Beetlejuice. You loved the demon to death but right now, you were in no mood to joke around. You could tell he sensed that when you didn’t respond. You didn’t see, but he awkwardly scratched the back of his head before sitting next to you. He placed an equally awkward hand on your back and started rubbing circles on it.

“Uh, you’re not gonna start crying are you? I’ve always been bad with that sort of thing. I mean, I had to watch The Notebook with Adam and Barbara one time and I had no idea what to do. They just started sobbing and saying “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird” to each other and it was the stupidest thing I’d seen-” And you stopped him before he could finish.

“No, Beej, I’m not gonna start crying. But, God, do I want to.” You said while sitting up, his hand still rubbing circles on your back. “It’s like I had one job and it went straight to shit in one day. I’ve looked everywhere for someone to play Santa last minute but they’re all booked! And I don’t have any family members or friends that are free either. Ugh, as if they’d actually do it.”

The room fell silent for a moment. There was no point in even opening up your laptop again. Not to say you gave up...but you basically gave up.

“What about the kid’s sperm donor? Maybe the Christmas spirit has him feeling less like a piece of shit.” Beetlejuice spoke; half joking, half serious. You scoffed but then let out an actual laugh. He moved his hand to around your shoulder before and you laid his chest. Your fingers started absentmindedly playing with his tie.

“If you’re referring to her father, he hasn’t been around since she was one. I doubt anything would make him less of a piece of shit.” You responded. You hated the guy for running out on you and your daughter but you’d never have him around Beetlejuice. You already knew Beej would have murder in his eyes as soon as he’d walk through the door. You moved your neck upward to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, showing that you appreciated his attempt to make you feel better.

“Well, at least this'll be an excuse to ruin Santa for her. Just walk in and say “SANTA ISN’T COMING BECAUSE SANTA ISN’T REAL!”. Rip the band aid off. It’ll be great.” He joked, looking down at you with a sinister grin on his face. There was no doubt in your mind that he wasn’t joking.

You let out a defeated giggle before flipping his tie up to hit him in the face. You were about to give him another kiss before you heard your daughter’s voice again.

“Beetlejuice!” She screamed before running around the couch to jump between you two. You both laughed at her sudden presence before Beetlejuice placed a hand on her head.

“What’s up, anklebiter? Have too many sugar packets before bed?” He joked and her own laughter wasn’t far behind. She quickly climbed on top of his lap and pulled out two of her favorite scrunchies from her pocket.

“No, silly! I need your opinion. Which scrunchie would look better for my hair tomorrow?” She asked, much like asked you about the shoes before.

Beetlejuice was always so good around your daughter. Most guys you knew ran for the hills when they found out you had a kid, but somehow, this rude and crude demon didn’t. Maybe it was all the time he’d spent with Lydia but he fell into the ‘cool dad/uncle’ role very quickly. Not that you were begging to have that figure in her life, it was still nice to watch them interact so naturally. You laughed as Beetlejuice plucked the different color scrunchies out of her hand and examined them closely.

“Nope, neither one will do.” He twisted his face at them before tossing them both to the side. Your daughter only blinked in confusion as she watched Beetlejuice reach into one of his jacket pockets.

“This one is way more suitable!” Suddenly he pulled out a black and white striped scrunchie with a glitter covered green and black tulle bow at the center. You’d been with Beetlejuice for a while so thankfully the both of you were used to his magic. Your daughter squealed in excitement and grabbed the scrunchie out of his hand.

“Beej, you can’t keep giving her presents before Christmas.” You laughed, still watching her as she gawked at her new accessory. The demon man ignored you, knowing he was only winning her heart more and more each day. “Alright, now what do we say?” You asked, giving her a knowing look.

“Thank you, so much BJ! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” The child didn’t hold back her enthusiasm as she jumped to give him a tight hug. Beetlejuice let out his usual scratchy laugh while giving her a few pats on the back.

You watched their interaction before squinting, an idea popping into your head.

“There’s no way...” You thought to yourself, but the image stuck in your head. Once you saw it, you couldn’t unsee it. From his perfect chubby body to his earthy laugh, you could tell he was the perfect fit for your idea.

“Alright, mini me, time for bed.” You shook yourself away from your thoughts and placed a hand on her head. She turned to face you with a large pout on her face. You stopped her before she could even protest. “Teeth and pajamas, now. I’ll be in to help with your hair in a minute.” You said softly but sternly.

The girl turned to Beej for help but he only shrugged, already knowing not to protest against you. She dropped her shoulders in defeat before saying thank you one last time and giving him her own cheek kiss. She soon shuffled away to get ready for bed, still giggling about the scrunchie.

“Ya’know, doll. I like it when you get tough. It really does something to me.” The demon man wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. You rolled your eyes before making your way over to him. You swung one leg over his lap and straddled him, using your hands to hold and squish his cheeks together. Beetlejuice didn’t waste time using one hand to hold your thigh and the other to grab your ass.

“Beej....” You started, staring into his golden eyes with a look that was nothing less than seductive. It didn’t take long for Beetlejuice to be wrapped around your finger. His hands started rubbing slowly in their respective spots as you moved down to pace soft kisses on his neck. “....how would you like to do me a BIG favor?” You asked.

****

Being the amazing boyfriend that he was, Beetlejuice said yes to your favor of him being the replacement Santa, at the cost of you being a wreck the entire event. Did you ever stop sweating? No. You were so used to Beej’s crass behavior at home that you didn’t think about how bad it would be to have him around other people. He started telling you all the ‘fun’ party tricks he had planned for the night. As soon as he mentioned giving the girls candy bags full of dead bugs, you realized the mistake you might’ve made.

There were more lows than highs throughout the night. Beetlejuice would make crude jokes every chance he got. Most of these jokes went over the girls heads, but their parents didn't find them very amusing. Even in your panicked state, you would have to divert Beetlejuice back to his original task. God, don’t even mention when you got close to him. It’s like he’d lose track of what was even happening to openly flirt and make lewd comments about you, in front of everyone. You lost count of how many times you had to say “haha Santa I don’t think Mrs. Claus would like that” before pinching him and making him get back on track. When it was time for food, he ate the scouts’ precious trope hamster. He played it up as a gimmick but you knew the gruesome reality of it all. The glares and stares from the adults in the room burned deep holes into your back. If you had the option to let the ground swallow you whole, you would’ve taken it.

When it finally came time to pass out the Scouts’ merit badges, that surprisingly went with minimal ease. Again, he was making odd jokes but it wasn’t the worst thing to happen all night. When he got down to your daughter, he was a lot more kind with his words than he was with the other girls. You thought he would’ve blown his cover to her as he went on a 10 minute long speech about how great and deserving she was. He was eventually stopped by the scout leader who cleared her throat to get her attention. You weren’t sure if it was the anxiety you’d been feeling all night, the sweet gesture from Beej, or the look of joy on your daughter’s face, but you were just about on the verge of tears. Despite the craziness of the night and the emotions that were flooding your brain, seeing the two of them laugh together made it all worth it.

****

After a long night out, you were finally back to your apartment. You shuffled through the door with her fast asleep on your shoulder. As soon as you got her in the car, she was out like a light. Now all you had to do was get her into pajamas and put her to bed. As you tucked her in, you could already hear Beej calling in his invisible state.

“Babydoll~ Told ya’ I was gonna be the best Santa ever. Come on, say my name. Say it so you can sit on Santa’s lap and tell him what you want for Christmas~” His scratchy voice echoed from behind you.

It took everything in you not to roll your eyes. Thankfully your daughter was fast asleep so she wouldn’t hear anymore of Beej’s lewd humor for the night. You stroked her hair for a second before getting up to walk out of her room, making sure to leave a slight crack in the door. You weren’t free from Beej’s voice as you put some things away and tidied up your living room. He was practically begging for you to say his name. Sure, you were being petty but he put you through hell tonight. A little payback never hurt anyone. Especially when you knew it helped fuel a little feral anger him. Angry Beej was your favorite Beej.

After about 30 minutes, you could feel the air in the room growing a little warm. You smiled to yourself, finally feeling as though you’d tortured him enough. You whispered his name slowly and sensual as you possibly could. As soon as you finished with the last syllable, you didn’t have time to swat away the thick green smoke surrounding your face before you felt his arms wrap around your waist. His nose was practically touching yours and you noticed the mischievous grin on his face. It didn’t surprise you that he still had on the Santa costume and soon you felt him pepper quick kisses on your neck.

“So tell me little girl, have you been naughty or nice this year?” He asked in between kisses. You let out a light giggle as the hairs on his beard tickles your neck.

“Aren’t you supposed to know that already, Santa?” You asked with added sarcasm on the name. He ignored you as he started nipping at your neck. “Anyway,” You stopped him by grabbing his cheeks with your hands. The way his face looked squished between your hands was too adorable for you to handle.

“Even though you were giving me anxiety all night, I still wanna say thank you for doing me this favor. It really means a lot.” With your words, you used one thumb to gently rub against his cheek. He didn’t even try to hide the goofy smile that filled his face. The only thing missing from his costume was the Santa hat so you could see the baby pink color that started to creep up strands of his hair.

“Aw, don’t sweat it, doll. You know I’d do anything for you and the kid.” He said so nonchalantly. It wasn’t until you gave him a fond smile that he realized what he said. It was rare for Beetlejuice to be anything less than crass. Whenever he showed moments of sincerity, it made your heart feel warm. His hair only got pinker as you looked at him with hearts in your eyes.

“I still want to show my appreciation. Seriously, what can I do to say thanks?” You asked, already knowing the type of answer he’d give. You watched as he acted like he was thinking for a moment. Just as his lip twisted back until an evil smirk, you felt one of his cold hands make his way down to your ass and give a gentle squeeze.

“Wellllll, how about a kiss under the mistletoe, babes?” He leaned in closer to your face.

You assumed he would’ve made one appear over you because you didn’t have one hanging anywhere in your apartment. A small puff of green smoke appeared in front of you but when you looked above, there wasn’t mistletoe to be found. Beej still had the arrogant smirk on his face as he watched you look around in confusion. After a second, it finally hit you. You made the mistake of looking down to see said mistletoe resting on the belt above his crotch. When you looked back at him, he wiggled his eyebrows. The annoyed sigh you let out could’ve been heard throughout the whole building. God, this guy was such a dumbass.

“Well? You gonna thank me or what?” The demon man asked, giving your ass a harder squeeze. You ignored his question and reached down. He seemed to get excited, but you disregarded his expectations that when you plucked the mistletoe off of his belt and held it above your heads.

“Don’t get too cocky, dweeb.” You saw that he was about to protest but you pushed your lips against his before he could.

Kissing Beetlejuice was nothing new but somehow this was a little different. You just remembered how sweet he was to your daughter and the interactions they’ve had. You thought about how you loved seeing them together. You thought about how much you loved the three of you being together like a family, like the family you’ve secretly wanted for so long. You put all of those thoughts into the kiss. All the love you had for Beetlejuice, you put into your kiss.

He was a little flustered at first, but eventually got in sync with you. He could tell you were putting your all into the kiss and was determined to do the same. You dropped the mistletoe to the floor and wrapped your arms around the man’s neck, pulling your bodies closer together. Beej let out a small grunt as you let your tongue slip it’s way into his mouth. You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into with that. Not long after did Beetlejuice shove his own freakishly large tongue until your mouth, and later down your throat. You tried your hardest not to let out a loud moan once you felt the wetness fill up your mouth, but you knew that’s exactly what Beej wanted to hear.

Even though you wanted to go longer, it would’ve been easier to finish what you started in the bedroom. Your daughter never caught you and Beej in the act, thank God, but there have been times where it was a close call. You hesitantly pulled away from the demon man, and it took a second for his tongue to leave from your throat. You gasped for air as your hands rested on his chest. You could see the ready-to-go feral look on his face as he rested his forehead on yours.

“Was that a good enough thank you?” You asked, letting out a slight laugh. Beetlejuice let out a heartier laugh as his golden eyes glowed bright like stars.

“I think I could use a little more convincing.” His scratchy voice echoed through your ears as he leaned down to wrap his arms around your thighs. You didn’t have a second to think as he lifted your body off of the ground and threw you over his shoulder with ease; one hand rested on your thigh and the other held a tight grip on your ass. You tried not to laugh too loudly as he carried your to your bedroom, ending the night in hours and hours of lovemaking.

With being so wrapped up in each other, you didn’t see your daughter peeking from around the hallway corner. Even though you thought she was fast asleep, Beetlejuice’s presence had woken her up while she tucked you in. She snuck out to watch in both joy and disgust as you two basically made out in the living room. She was glad to see you happy but it was still gross to see her parental figures kissing at all. With Beetlejuice still being in his Santa costume, she was able to put two and two together. She didn’t necessarily stop believing in Santa but she was glad Beetlejuice played the part for her.

The young girl scurried her way back into her room and gently closed the door so you two wouldn’t hear. Boy, was she gonna have a story to tell her fellow Girl Scouts.

Thank you guys so much for reading! See you guys in the New Year!💚💜🖤 🎉

#beetlejuice x reader #beetlejuice fanfiction #Beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice #beetlejuice musical

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hexpea · 3 years

Text

Ch. 3 - Scintillation

SCINTILLATION: a flash or sparkle of light

We took a break after lunch, a well-earned one for sure. During that time I took the opportunity to nap only to wake up to an extremely sore body. Since Rengoku was to arrive soon, I decided to bathe and make myself a bit more presentable as a human compared to yesterday’s dinner and today’s training session.

I took the opportunity to wear a kimono instead of my regular uniform. It wasn’t often that we were able to wear something other than that damn black suit.

I, of course, started with my white Nagajubon, the kimono-shaped robe that goes underneath the kimono to reduce the need for it to be laundered. I wore this along with the Datejime, the sash that tied the Nagajuban in place. It was decorated in bright lavender stripes with tiny sakura petals strewn about. I had picked it out myself considering this part is hidden beneath the kimono anyway.

Next up was the Kimono itself. Since this was the only kimono I had which was leftover from my Coming of Age ceremony it was in Furisode style, long-sleeves. It, too, was lavender purple that was covered in periwinkle and pastel pink roses. The details of each petal were incredibly intricate. I truly was proud of myself for choosing such a beautiful piece.

I fastened my Kimono with my Obi, the wide, silk sash that goes around the waist. It was one of the most difficult parts considering it needed to be tied in such a way. I kept it simple and tied it in the Taiko Musubi style though it didn’t go along with the Furisode style. Unfortunately since I was tying the knot myself I didn’t have much of a choice.

Next was my Hakama which I chose to match the periwinkle flowers of my Kimono. From there I put on my tabi socks and tied the buckles tight, then I slid on my Zori sandals and called it done.

I took the time to put on some light make-up and tied my hair into a simple bun with two strands of hair at the sides of my face.

I suddenly heard the familiar knock on my door, loud as ever. This time I smiled to myself, actually being ready to accept his presence without looking like I just rolled out of bed.

“Wow,” Rengoku’s breath was stolen as he looked me up and down after I answered the door. Rengoku was dressed in traditional Western style clothing, a white dress shirt and ascot with a blood red vest and black dress pants and loafers. He still carried his sword at his hip which stood out without his usual haori.

“Sorry if I over did it, but I’m taking this date thing seriously,” I playfully wiggled my eyebrows at him. He licked his lips as if his mouth was dry and finally met my gaze after staring at my get-up.

“No, no...you’re beautiful,” he said quickly, “stunning actually. Will you be comfortable during the walk to the station?” I nodded, which was a lie, but there was no way I was changing after how long it took me to get ready.

“Hmm...should I also bring my katana?” I asked, pointing to his blade. He glanced down at his hip and then back at me.

“Not necessary. I just like to bring it just in case. As the host of this date, I’d prefer to be the only one fighting any demons,” he smiled at me and held out his arm just as he did the day before.

“I can’t believe I get to go to town two days in a row,” I said quietly as if to myself, but even the hard-of-hearing Rengoku heard it. He chuckled to himself as I finished the sentence.

“I’m happy to be able to treat you to such a luxury,” half of his tone was teasing and the other half serious, “I figure we’ll go out to eat again and also stroll along the main street to see the shops.”

“Sounds lovely,” I agreed and took his arm, the two of us happily strolling down the hallway. It didn’t take very long for the kimono to become uncomfortable, especially against my sore muscles, but I knew I had to endure it.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Rengoku stopped mid-way down the hallway, “let’s go back for a moment.” He began to drag me back to my room.

He entered and closed the door behind him and looked at me thoughtfully.

“Mayumi, you’re beautiful,” he reassured me yet again with a breathy voice, he stepped forward and caressed my cheek which made my skin flush, strong heat rising to its surface. His skin on the back of his hand was surprisingly soft. “You’re clearly uncomfortable,” he continued, taking free reign and undoing my bun while maintaining eye contact. My hair fell around my shoulders and I gasped from the unexpected movement.

“I know you worked really hard, especially on this messy knot back here,” he chuckled, turning me around and undoing the knot.

“Kyojuro...are you undressing me right now?” I gulped. He quickly paused as I turned my head back to look at him. His face was bright red.

“I don’t mean to...truthfully I’d rather see you comfortable. You’re beautiful just in your uniform...you’re beautiful no matter what you look like,” he explained, “I want you to enjoy your time and I don’t want you to have to worry about what you’re wearing.”

“That’s sweet,” I smiled to myself, “if you’d like to wait outside, I can do the rest.” He gave a firm nod and stepped outside.

I blushed to myself as I undressed in solitude and slipped on my button-up top and skirt. It felt so much better than all of those layers and a tight knot around my waist, especially in the middle of summer.

“Alright, let’s head out,” I joined him in the hallway where he was leaning against the wall in waiting.

“Do you mind if I throw this in your room?” He asked, now holding his vest and ascot. His dress shirt was disheveled and no longer tucked in. “These were equally uncomfortable, so I figured with the formalities out of the way we could just enjoy each other’s company.” I nodded excitedly, taking the silk vest and cotton ascot, throwing it on my messy futon.

Once we were both comfortable, we quickly headed toward the station. The walk was familiar and we enjoyed great conversation as usual. He was now able to carry the talk instead of having me drone on about Iguro who was now at the very back of my mind and the least of my worries.

The train ride itself was just as joyous though I was yet again flattered and flustered that Rengoku had bought both of our tickets. I genuinely felt like...dare I say it...a princess. Such kindness was relatively unfamiliar considering Iguro wasn’t exactly the romantic type with me.

We ate at the same restaurant we had the night before, selecting something new but equally as delicious from their menu.

From the restaurant, we strolled back onto the busy evening streets of the town. Many shops were lit up in beautiful colors, the shop owners smiling wide and greeting each customer that passed by. Rengoku allowed me to lead the way, agreeing to head into any shop of my choice.

“It’s gorgeous...and it matches my Kimono,” I sighed, holding the Kamikazari after entering one of the shops. “Such a shame,” I muttered to myself, regretting my bad habits that prevented me from taking it home.

“It really does!” Rengoku’s voice boomed through the shop, quickly taking it from my hands.

“Kyojuro!” I scolded, trying to reach his grasp as he held it from me. “What are you-?” He carried it to the back of the shop where the shop owner sat. “Kyojuro,” I followed him, “what are you doing?”

“I’m getting you this,” he looked at me as if he were confused by my frustration.

“Please, you don’t have to…” I slightly begged. I hated how much he was spending on me as of late. It was crazy how quickly we went from just co-slayers who greeted each other and held pleasant conversation when the time presented to such close friends in the matter of forty-eight hours.

“I don’t have to, but I want to,” he insisted, the usual large smile planted on his face. I blushed and kept my mouth shut.

After he purchased the small hair ornament, we walked out onto the street. He held the pin with such dainty fingers in one hand and stopped me by grabbing my shoulder with the other.

“Here, let’s put it on,” he looked up at my hair, putting the pin gently between his teeth before touching my hair. I turned around and allowed him to wrap my hair into a simple bun, sticking the pin in to hold it in place. “I had learned to do this when my mother was too sick to do so herself,” he explained, “she really enjoyed having her hair up and I was determined to learn when she became too weak to do it herself.”

“That’s incredibly sweet, Kyojuro,” my heart fluttered at his sweet but sad story, “thank you for this. It’s really too much…”

“No, it’s not,” he insisted again, “I’m taking you out on a date. This is standard practice from what I understand of it.”

“I definitely feel spoiled, that’s for sure,” I giggled as he remained silent, though something in the air felt as though he wanted to say something.

“There, perfect!” He declared of his work as I turned to look at him, hand gently touching the new bun at the back of my head with a smile.

“Very good,” I complimented, feeling how perfectly he completed the style. “Thank you, Kyojuro,” I gave him a weak smile, my heart fluttering as I stared at him in the glistening evening light.

“Of course, Mayumi,” he smiled back, staring back into my eyes with his piercing irises. Hearing my name roll from his mouth made my body tingle even more. “You look so beautiful,” he added in a near whisper. I tightened my smile, feeling my face heat up as the moment continued.

As I was lost in his eyes, I barely felt as his warm palm cupped the side of my face. I closed my eyes when I realized it and leaned into his touch, placing my own hand over his. My heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest, nausea creeping up on me like no tomorrow.

He smiled sweetly at my reaction and eventually allowed his hand to leave in exchange for grabbing my own to continue moving through the town. His fingers intertwined with mine, my pounding heart now settling to butterflies in my stomach as we continued down the street.

We continued moving through the shops, stopping each time I gave a little squeak of interest. Rengoku bought me a few more small trinkets along the way and I whined about his spoiling me over and over again.

We hung around town until the sun went too far down past the horizon and some of the shops began to close.

When we arrived at the train station, something about the aura felt off. The lights were on, but there were no employees to be found and a train was already parked at the station with no engineer.

Rengoku had lost his smile as he stood and took in the scene.

“A demon,” he murmured, placing a quick hand on the hilt of his katana. Though I was scared, I was just as excited knowing that I’d finally get to see Rengoku in action.

I knew that as a Hashira, feeling a demon was like a sixth sense to Rengoku. I couldn’t feel anything, just the fact that something was off about the whole thing.

Without further hesitance, he unsheathed his sword and held it pointed center with two hands as his eyes patrolled back and forth.

“Well...what do we have here?” A shaky, disturbing voice sent chills through my body. I still couldn’t pinpoint where this creature was. “A Hashira! How...delicious…”

“Come out!” Rengoku demanded, staring at one spot toward the ceiling of the station. I joined his gaze but didn’t see anything. His piercing eyes didn’t dare leave that spot. “Quit hiding, show yourself!”

“You’re no fun,” the demon then suddenly appeared, fading in slowly right in the corner where he had been looking. I tried my best to keep my jaw off the floor. How did he even see that thing there?!

Its skin was a dark grey and had long, flowing black hair with completely white eyes. It was as if it were a shadow, or at least could easily camouflage in the shadows.

The demon then dropped from the ceiling, its arms held out as if it were ready to pounce on the two of us. It licked its lips as it started walking toward us. I began to back up a little, but Rengoku held his ground.

“I took out all of the workers here and was just about to indulge on those in the cars before you showed up. It’s very unkind of you to interrupt my meal,” the demon playfully pouted.

“You will not be finishing this meal,” he declared, reinforcing the point of his sword in its direction. He began taking large strides toward the demon. The demon, a beta for sure, tried its best to prepare a counter attack but was quickly decapitated by Rengoku’s move.

“Wow, didn’t even have time to think about how to react,” I chuckled in response to the demon’s death. Rengoku sighed and put his sword back in its place.

“I really don’t know why they even bother with Hashira. Truthfully, the only real fights we face are with the Kizuki,” he shrugged in response, “I hate that we didn’t arrive sooner, we could have saved the lives of the employees.”

“That’s very unfortunate,” I agreed, “but at least the lives of the civilians in the cars should be okay.” Rengoku nodded.

“I’ll send my crow back to Oyakata-sama. He’ll be able to take care of this stuck train and the civilians,” he added as his crow flew to his shoulder, “as for us, I don’t think walking home in the dark is a safe idea. It may be a half hour train ride but it's a good four hour walk.”

“Yeah, no thanks,” I giggled, “back to town we go, I guess. I’m sure there’s an inn we can find.” He gave a single, strong nod, his smile returning.

We began the walk back to the town. I felt incredibly lucky to have seen a Hashira take out a demon though it was a quick fight...if you’d even call it a fight. My muscles really ached at this point having been walking for most of the evening and the nap I had taken earlier was wearing off. Rengoku had trained my ass off from four am until noon and it was now nearly eleven at night.

“Everything hurts,” I groaned as our walk neared its end, “I definitely need a day off tomorrow.”

“Demons never take a day off!” Rengoku exclaimed excitedly. I gave him an annoyed look, back hunched over from the pain.

“There are only so many demons and there are other demon slayers. I think they can do without me for a day,” I laughed as best as I could, “besides, we have to stay out here for the night and then get our way back to headquarters anyway. I’m looking forward to a nice hot bath and curling up on a mattress for once.”

“It is a real treat,” he agreed, pointing toward an inn that sat on the edge of town.

We entered and Rengoku took the lead at the front desk, even paying for our room. The fact that he had likely put more money out than he wanted tonight made me feel even worse. I hated the idea of being a burden to someone who wanted to take me out. Though he said we shouldn’t, I was sure if he were alone he would have done the four hour walk and then woken up bright and early at four AM anyways.

The innkeeper, with a smile, led us upstairs where all of the rooms were located. He unlocked one of the doors and allowed us inside, giving Rengoku a copy of the key. The two bowed briefly as a goodbye and Rengoku closed the door behind us.

The room had two twin-sized beds and a small bathroom with full plumbing. It was a pretty sizable room as well with two large closets.

“This is nice,” I nodded, staring around the room.

“Would you like to take your bath?” Rengoku asked, hand motioning toward the bathroom. I smiled excitedly. Indoor plumbing was a true luxury having only been invented fifty years prior. Despite it being around for so long, it was still rare to find.

“I’m so ready,” I giggled like a child and scampered to the bathroom. Rengoku followed to check it out with me.

“This is nice,” he repeated, looking around the wood paneled walls and porcelain floor tiles. There was a small bathtub, a single standing sink, and a tiny toilet. It was small, but it was something!

“Now, if you’ll excuse me!” I playfully shoved him back out into the bedroom area and closed the door. I heard his hearty laugh from behind the door.

I then turned to the bathtub and began running the water, placing the plug in the drain. While the tub filled I got undressed and folded my clothing on the edge of the sink.

I dipped my toes into the warm water and began to sink in. On a nearby ledge sat some soap and shampoo as well as a tiny bottle of lotion. It truly felt like luxury!

I cleaned myself and quickly wrapped a towel around my chest. I glanced at my clothing and I realized I would much prefer to put clean clothes on instead of the now dirtied ones.

“Hey, Kyojuro?” I peeked my head out of the door, trying my best to shield my body. He was resting on one of the beds, hands behind his head, his shirt and pants unbuttoned for comfort, and looked quickly in my direction. “Do they happen to have any robes in those closets?” I asked.

“Hmm…” he got up, gripping his pants so they wouldn’t fall around his ankles, and opened one of them, “yes! What luck!” He grabbed one and handed it to me.

“Thanks,” I smiled, slipping the robe through the small crack in the door, “after your turn in here, I’m going to use the tub to hand wash my clothes. I can do yours, too, if you’d like.”

“No thank you,” he smiled sweetly, “no way would I make you wash my clothes. I can join you and we can do it together.” I smiled back and closed the door for a brief moment to wrap the towel around my hair and tie the robe around my body.

Once I was all finished, Rengoku and I traded places. I relaxed on the mattress of the bed opposite to the one he chose. The feeling of the soft fabric and squishy material was pure bliss. Sure, futons are comfortable for what they are, but nothing beats sleeping off the floor and on something a little bit softer. I nearly fell asleep before Rengoku came back.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” I heard Rengoku’s voice, this time soft, as he caressed my face.

“Did I actually fall asleep?” I asked, looking all around in the hopes that it wasn’t morning yet. He nodded with that classic smile on his face. When my eyes finally adjusted, I realized he was only in a towel that was wrapped around his waist and his hair drenched and sticking to his shoulders. I felt heat rise to my face...and in-between my legs.

“I felt bad for waking you, but I figured I’d let you know that I went ahead and scrubbed your uniform clean,” he smiled sweetly, “hopefully it will be dry by tomorrow morning.”

“You did not,” I gasped, sitting up, “I should have helped you! Kyojuro!” Also, you touched my panties...not something I had expected out of tonight...

“No, no, we’re still in town so technically I’m still the host,” he reminded me. I sighed with a bit of exasperation. I was going to owe this man my whole life if he kept this up.

“You’re really doing too much,” I scolded, sitting on the edge of the bed and allowing my hair to fall out of the towel and down my shoulders. I began finger combing it as best as I could, wincing when I felt the knots.

“Well, I’m courting you, so…” he rolled his eyes as if that were obvious. He sat down on his bed and fell back, his legs dangling off the side of the bed. My eyes widened as I saw the soft lump in-between his legs underneath the towel. I quickly looked away out of respect, though my heart and body wanted to misbehave.

“Courting me?” I asked, trying to continue the conversation and distract myself from staring at his half-naked body.

“Well, dating should have intentions, right?” He asked, sitting up.

“It’s our first date, a pity date that you asked me to,” I chuckled, “and to be honest, I’ve just been all nervous and sweaty this whole time. Not to mention how pained my body is from our workout earlier today.”

“I’m sorry…” he mumbled sadly, “I was hoping this was a good time.”

“What?!” I panicked. “This day has been perfect! I just wish I was a better sport.” He gave me a confused look. “For the past two days, being around you has just made me a nervous wreck, growing by the minute the more we’re together.” I admitted and his expression fell into a sweet smile. “Especially now that you’re sitting here half-naked in front of me with only a weak towel covering your...your…” I flapped my hand in his direction as if to signal his naughty bits. His face turned a slight shade of pink though his smile never left.

“I’m glad you told me this,” he stood up, “and to be fair, you only have a weak robe covering yours. He took a step closer, closing the gap between the beds.

I looked up at him as he ran his fingers through my wet hair and held them there. He knelt down in front of me so that I was now looking down at him. He placed his free hand on my knee as his fingers in my hair began to gently rub. “Would you like a massage? That might help your muscles relax.” He asked, voice quiet.

“Sure, it sounds like you got tips from Uzui with all this,” my voice felt like it was shaking just a bit. Did I just admit that I have feelings for him in the most awkward way ever? And he didn’t think anything else of it?!

"Maybe I did," he winked in a joking manner before standing.

He left my side for a moment to head into the bathroom where the small bottle of lotion was located.

“Here, lay back,” he instructed, pouring some of the liquid onto his palms. I did as he instructed, trying my best to keep my robe closed.

He started at my feet. The lotion felt cold to the touch as he applied light pressure to my arches. I hummed at the pleasurable feeling, a tiny drunk smile growing on my face while my eyes closed.

He worked at my feet one at a time, making sure to even get between my toes. He slowly then moved up my legs, massaging my calves, not worrying that lotion was getting all over the bed. He continued to move until he reached my thighs, massaging carefully to not disrupt the rob and reveal me.

I was in pure heaven with the feeling of his rough hands kneading my doughy skin. It felt as though if I were to try and stand up I wouldn’t be able to. My lower half felt like pure mashed potatoes.

“May I get your back and shoulders?” He asked politely, now standing at the end of the bed. My eyes fluttered open when I heard his voice. How could I turn that down?!

“Mhm,” I nodded a little, flipping onto my back and doing my best to arch my back and get the robe off of the top part of my body while hiding my breasts from the flame Hashira behind me.

When my top half was exposed, I plunged back on the mattress and allowed my face to bury itself into the pillow.

The cold lotion hit my back quickly and I nearly squealed. Rengoku gave an apology in a whisper as he kneaded the space near my spine, dragging the knuckles of his thumbs down the center and then allowing his fingers to fan out and press the rest.

My favorite part was my shoulders. He gave a tight squeeze and I grunted in pure pleasure, feeling the crunchy knots find their way out. I could hear a laugh from deep in his chest in response to my satisfied noises.

Over time, he weaned me from the pleasure and I sighed in relief, stretching my body out like a cat -- extending all of my limbs as far as they could go.

“How do you feel?” He asked, smiling and rubbing the leftover lotion all over his hands. I looked at him, head turned deep on the pillow.

“Amazing,” I managed to gurgle out.

I remained there, top still nude, as he went and washed his hands of the lotion. I took a deep breath, feeling the oxygen course through my veins. I felt as if I were on a cloud, being cared for by an angel.

“Hmm…” Rengoku hummed, sitting on the edge of his bed. I peeled my sleepy eye open toward him.

“Hmm?” I repeated with a questioning intonation.

“Your bed is covered in lotion,” he chuckled, “would you like to trade beds so you don’t have to sleep in that?”

“Trade?” I grumbled. “No way, I can stay here. I’m the one covered in lotion anyway.”

“Well, what if we shared?” He asked again. “I figure it’s likely not very comfortable to have the cold, slimy liquid all over the sheets.” I laughed at his description and sat up, facing away from him to put the robe back over my shoulders.

“Are you okay with that?” I asked, genuinely concerned. I didn’t want to impose or be more of a burden than I was already.

“Of course! I’m the one who offered!” He insisted, patting the bed next to him.

He crawled under the covers as I walked to the other side of the bed. It was going to be a tight squeeze considering the size of the twin bed. I hadn’t thought about it until that point. He was nearly on the edge of the bed, lifting the covers to invite me in.

I carefully slid in next to him, feeling my legs against his. He covered the two of us with the blankets and then squeezed his hand back toward himself. The two of us were facing one another. I felt his hot breath over my face as he looked deeply into my eyes, a smaller, sleepier smile on his face.

His bare chest was pressed against mine though the puffy robe I had on shielded the feeling of his skin on mine.

“Did you have a good day today?” He asked in the darkness. I felt his hand come up and start stroking my hair, folding it behind my ear repeatedly.

“Mhm,” I answered quietly, closing my eyes and allowing the feeling to take me into a deep, sweet sleep.

“I’m glad,” he whispered, sighing into peace.

The feeling of his warmth against me was intoxicating. Our legs had begun to tangle themselves together on the small bed. His pelvis was now against mine and the familiar soft bulge I had felt while training earlier that day could be felt through the fabric of the robe. I felt my cheeks turn a little pink as I realized the feeling.

I unfolded myself a bit, allowing my arms to stretch over his body. I wrapped them around his body as best as I could in the tight space. I opened my eyes just a little to see if what I was doing was okay. His eyelids looked heavy, but his gaze never left my face.

Though I was tired, my heart was beating a thousand miles a minute. I worried that he could feel it thanks to the proximity. I had never imagined that I would be sharing a moment like this with the flame Hashira.

I sighed and nestled myself into his neck, this time caving in to my desires. He could definitely feel my heart if I could feel him easily in this position. His beat was steady and strong, just as expected for an admirable warrior.

He had stopped rubbing my hair and instead started to cradle my head, pushing myself closer into his chest. He hummed a bit out of pleasure and I felt it reverberate against my eardrum. I smiled to myself and rubbed my face on his neck, slightly stubbly.

Cradled into one another’s arms, we fell asleep…

#rengoku kyojuro smut #rengoku kyojuro fluff #kyojuro rengoku fluff #kyojuro rengoku smut #rengoku #rengoku kyojuro #kyojuro rengoku #kyojuro #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #demon slayer

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ca-3 · 4 years

Note

For Freya’s clothes I think vampires have clothes magic. Tsubaki does his costume change from suit to kimono at the piano recital. Gil, Ray, and Shamrock go from striped prison clothes to regular attire. So Vampires are fashionistas and Wrath was just feeling adventurous I guess?

At this point I just believe all the vampires clothes are alive??? They really are fashionistas lol and I’m glad you pointed out those observations cause I almost forgot them!

It’s definitely just a vampire thing in the series instead of just a Servamps only thing like I used to think. But the main ones I’ve noticed besides Freya’s ever evolving dress, is Kuro and Hyde’s outfits. Cause Kuro’s coat tail things have also shown to move on their own and only respond to Kuro too?

I noticed Kuro uses them in battle to block attacks and such and I remember they moved around him when he was angry in the anime too.

Hyde’s scarf also seems to move with his reactions as well and helps him change into Phantom of the Opera mode so hmm...🤔

I wonder if Freya would have done something similar if she had been animated more in the anime. Cause we already know she can change into a suit like Hyde.

Now that you mention other subclass I don’t really recall actually seeing others being as obvious, but another interesting one is Sakuya.

I realized they didn’t really show this off in the anime, but Sakuya’s suspenders are also alive and have functions. Apparently that’s how he got his chainsaw out of nowhere, cause they appear to be going towards his chainsaw in the manga and then his suspenders are gone after he has it too.

And my favorite function “Belkia baby leash” 😂

Like why did they not show this? 😂

So yes in conclusion, vampires in Servamp have living clothes and there’s no wrong or right way to draw Freya lmao

#ca3 asks #anon #i guess i can tag this #since i ended up writing a lot skzjsndn #servamp #servamp spoilers #just in case

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depressedkakashihatake-fics · 3 years

Text

Dusk Time Evolution

Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai

1802 words

For: @alumort

Edited by: @mireleth

Kakashi had only been back in the Kanto region for a day, and he had already returned to his regular training regime. Well, the training regime that Gai made him keep up with whenever he would find time to visit him at his gym. Something that Kakashi had not been keeping up with during his visit to the Alola region, resulting in his current situation.

Flat on his back in the middle of Gai’s gym, staring up at the ceiling as it slowly opened above him. Apparently Gai had decided they needed to do some stargazing in his gym while Kakashi was gone, because he didn’t remember his boyfriend having a gym with a roof that could open before.

“You like it?” Gai’s face showed up above his, a bright smile on his face. “I thought it would be a nice change. The gym was starting to feel boring.”

Boring was the last word Kakashi would use to describe Gai’s gym. The place had been set up as an obstacle course that trainers had to navigate their pokemon around in order to even have a chance at fighting Gai. The whole gym screamed ‘extra’, and with an opening rooftop it only became more obvious how much extra Gai thought he had to be.

Kakashi loved it.

Reaching his hands over his head, he smiled up at Gai and waited patiently for him to understand what he was trying to do. It took a moment, but when it finally dawned on him Gai chuckled and got down on his knees, lowering himself to press a gentle kiss against Kakashi’s forehead.

“I love it.” He smiled, resting his hands on the back of Gai’s neck so that he couldn’t pull away anytime soon. “The view is beautiful. Especially when you’re in it.”

Seeing the light tinge of a blush, Kakashi chuckled. He loved embarrassing Gai because no-one else in the world expected that of him. The hardened tactician that no pokemon trainer could beat and receive a badge from, being adorable? Unheard of.

A heavy weight came to rest across his waist, pulling his attention downwards so that he could see the small Rockruff that had now decided to make him its bed. A perfectly acceptable way for him to find himself pinned to the ground for the rest of the night, in his opinion.

“She seems to like you.” Gai beamed, reaching out to pat Rockruff on the head. “How long into your journey did you find her?”

Thinking back, Kakashi couldn’t help but smile as he recalled the playful Rockruff that had come charging up to him on his second day in Alola, bumping her head against his leg until he finally got up and started to play with her.

She had even gone so far as to bump her nose against a luxury ball that Kakashi dropped while they were playing, allowing herself to be caught without any fuss. A happy accident that Kakashi didn’t have any repeats of during the rest of his visit.

“Two days,” he responded after realizing that he had never actually answered Gai’s question. “I was two days into my trip when she decided to join me.”

“Impressive. Is she always so…” Gai made a gesture with his hand, the descriptor that he was searching for clearly not coming to mind.

Playful would work in most cases, as Rockruff was quite the playful pup. But Kakashi didn’t think that was what Gai meant since he had quite a few playful pokemon of his own. No, instead he was probably trying to address the fact that Rockruff had gotten quite aggressive during their battle, biting Gai’s Hitmonchan in the leg even when Kakashi hadn’t ordered her to.

That was a much newer personality trait that Kakashi was trying to deal with.

“I asked professor Mabui about her aggressiveness a few days before we came home,” he explained, glancing back down at Rockruff as she relaxed on top of his stomach and looked up at the sky. “She was starting to get a bit more aggressive during battles a week before we were due to leave. The professor said it was perfectly normal for a Rockruff, and that in most cases it meant that they might be ready to evolve soon.”

During the plane ride home Kakashi had done a bit of research on Rockruff’s evolutions, wanting to know as much as possible about the pokemon that he might end up with. It had been quite an interesting read and Kakashi had found himself stuck trying to decide which form he would prefer. The midday form looked cool and the rock typing was certainly a new addition to his team, but he always had a certain fondness for a dark type pokemon as well. He didn’t have many of those either, since he was mostly an electric type trainer.

“It’s about what, 5:30 pm? If Rockruff were to evolve right now I think she would end up taking the midnight form. It’s really quite a sight, with beautiful red eyes and a dark typing that would compliment my team nicely I think.”

Gai laughed above him.

“As long as it’s a dog, do you really care what type it is?” He smiled back down at Kakashi. “Either way you’re going to spoil her rotten and play with her all the time, regardless of how much the rocks around her neck bruise you.”

He certainly wasn’t wrong about that. Kakashi loved all of his pokemon, and even though his dogs didn’t really fit into the electrical theme of his teams he still loved to play with them and spoil them as much as possible. The type of pokemon they were had never really mattered to him.

Still, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t love a dark type pokemon, or even a rock type. Most of the dog pokemon were normal type and keeping Growlithe from Obito’s greedy fire-loving hands was difficult most days.

“Hmm, someone’s excited.” Coming out of his thoughts, Kakashi frowned when he saw Gai staring down at Rockruff, who had only just started to move again. Following his boyfriend’s line of sight, Kakashi stared at the pokemon as she sat up on his stomach and looked up towards the setting sun over Gai’s gym. “What do you think she’s looking at?”

“The sun, maybe?” Kakashi suggested, watching as Rockruff stood up on all four paws, her body starting to give off a faint glow. “Oh… oh!”

Was it really that time already?

Sitting up, Kakashi watched as the faint glow slowly grew stronger until it covered Rockruff's whole body. “What are you going to be, hm?” He was tempted to reach out and pet Rockruff, but that really wasn’t a good idea when she was in the middle of evolving. Especially given her more aggressive nature over the last week.

“Beautiful.” Gai’s hand came down to rest on his shoulder. “She’s going to be beautiful.”

That he couldn’t disagree with.

As Rockruff’s body started to grow, Kakashi felt the pressure of her heavier weight pushing down on his abdomen. It was obvious that he wasn’t going to be able to let Lycanroc put all of her weight on him anymore or he’d be crushed under her body weight.

He was already threatened with death by cuddles whenever he shared a bed with Gai. He didn’t need to take that risk with his pokemon as well.

“Oh…” His eyes widened when the glow started to fade away, Rockruff’s blue tinted fur now a darker hue with spikes of fur all around her neck. When she looked back at him she had brilliant green eyes, and an extra long spike of rock that arced over her head sort of like the midnight form. “That’s… uh…”

“Not what you were expecting?” Gai finished for himself, reaching out once again to pet Lycanroc’s head. “What form is this?”

“That I do not have an answer to,” Kakashi admitted. “This doesn’t look like either of the forms that I read about. It’s something new.”

Gai looked back down at him, confusion etched on his face. “You’re telling me your Rockruff just evolved into a completely unknown form?” The only response that Kakashi could give was a short quick nod of his head. Taking in Kakashi’s answer, a small smile started to pull at Gai’s lips. “Does that mean you get to name it?”

Thinking about it for a second, Kakashi reached out and gave Lycanroc a gentle pat on the head, ignoring the slight pain in his chest from the increased weight now on top of his body. “What do you think, hm?” He smiled up at her. “What kind of name suits such a beautiful pokemon?”

Lycanroc responded by leaning in close and licking a long stripe up the side of Kakashi’s face. “Right, you don’t care what it’s called,” he chuckled. Wrapping his arms around the pokemon, Kakashi hugged her close to his body and turned his attention back up to the sky. “Well, the other two forms are named after the time of day since that’s what determines the Rockruff’s form when it evolves, so how about ‘Dusk form’?”

“It’s perfect.” When he glanced back at Gai he couldn’t help but chuckle when he saw the way his boyfriend was gazing back at him. “What?”

“Sometimes I forget how adorable you are.” His eyes widened while a blush started to creep its way up the back of his neck. “It’s true, Kakashi.”

Throwing a hand over his face, Kakashi glared up at Gai from between his fingers. “Stop it,” he grunted as Lycanroc laid down over his chest. “Stop it right now. I am not adorable. I am a scary ruthless gym leader that no one likes.”

“A scary ruthless gym leader that lets his pokemon cuddle up on his chest and asks them if they like the name he’s trying to give their new form.” Gai reached out and poked Kakashi in the nose, laughing when the electric type user glared up at him. “But if it’ll make you feel better, I could join the cuddles.”

Turning his head away from Gai, Kakashi dropped one arm to the ground beside him and waited for his boyfriend to take the hint. With no further commentary Gai laid down on the floor beside Kakashi and cuddled up to his side, laughing when Kakashi brought his arm back up around his waist and turned to look back at him.

“So, is it a good name?”

“Perfect.” Gai beamed. “Just as I would expect from my eternal rival.”

Gai in his arms, a newly evolved Lycanroc resting on his chest, and a beautiful sunset in the sky above. Kakashi really couldn’t think of anywhere he would rather be at this moment.

#Kakagai #Hatake Kakashi #Maito Gai #Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai #KKG Week #Kakagai Week #KakagaiWeek #Kakagai Wekk 2020 #Pokemon Au #Pokemon Gym Leader Kakashi #Pokemon Gym Leader Gai

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neerasrealm · 3 years

Note

ask for Zalgo as Jasons cheerleader >:( like- Zalgo in this cursed cheerleader thing and hyping Jason up, while Jason is just trying to not sleep over work and finish a new toy :DD

GOD I SHOULD’VE KNOWN Y’ALL WOULD ASK ME TO WRITE ABOUT THIS HUH DSGFDGSHFDSHG FUCKING SIMPS Anyway I wrote this entire thing in like one sitting I just fucking went OFF HSDSDSJJH enjoy

Jason’s eyes felt heavy as he leaned on his work table. The oil pastel in his hand felt heavy, and he could hardly keep a grip on it, let alone use it. He knew better than to try making concept art when tired, but he kept telling himself ‘’just after this, then I’ll rest.’’. If he could just...finish...drawing…

Jason’s eyes drifted closed and his grip on the pastel loosened, almost falling from his hand. He leaned his head heavier against his free hand and exhaled softly. He almost, almost fell asleep before-

‘’Jason!!’’

‘’AH-!’’

Jason jolted back awake and fell out of his chair. Fortunately he didn’t hit the ground, he was caught. By the very person who woke him up. Zalgo. He was kneeling behind Jason, holding him up and grinning brightly. Jason stared at him, slightly stunned and also trying to catch his bearings again. Zalgo chuckled.

‘’Did I scare you?’’ he asked with a sly smirk. Jason gave him a tired, unamused glare.

‘’No.’’

‘’Awe…’’ Zalgo pouted slightly. Jason rolled his eyes.

‘’Can you let me up now?’’ he asked. Zalgo blinked then seemingly realised he was still holding up the toymaker.

‘’Oh! Right.’’ Zalgo pushed Jason back up onto his chair and stood up. ‘’Good morning, sleepyhead.’’

‘’It’s three am.’’

‘’That’s still morning.’’ Zalgo countered. He folded his arms confidently behind his back and smiled at his beloved toymaker. ‘’What are you doing up so late, dear?’’

Jason grunted and turned back to his artwork. ‘’Drawing concept art for things.’’ he murmured. He picked his oil pastel up again and yawned.

‘’You’re tired.’’ Zalgo tilted his head.

‘’I’ll sleep when I’m done…’’

Zalgo frowned and reached down, gripping Jason’s shoulders as he leaned his face down next to the toymaker’s. ‘’Can I help?’’ he asked gently, massaging Jason’s shoulders. Jason hummed softly at the warm, gentle touch. Practically melting into it.

‘’Not really…’’ he said gently. Zalgo hummed back at him and nuzzled his face against Jason’s. Jason quietly ignored him. Though Zalgo felt warm and welcoming, Jason would really rather focus himself on work.

‘’Hmm…’’ Zalgo was quiet for a moment before he moved off of Jason. The toymaker paid him no mind until he heard a rustling noise behind him. He frowned and slowly sat up. He turned around and-

‘’WHAT IN THE-’’

Standing in front of him was Zalgo. But in a brand new outfit. No longer was he wearing his fine, grey waistcoat, dress pants and button-down shirt. He was wearing a pink and white...cheerleader outfit. The shirt was short, both in length and the neck. It allowed Jason to see not only Zalgo’s collar and his bare, muscular arms, but also most of his torso. The glowing fiery tattoos running down his body and encircling on his stomach were plain and clear, as were the curves of his hips. The shirt made Zalgo’s already large and muscular chest look only bigger. Was it even in Zalgo’s size??? Jason didn’t know. Along with the revealing shirt was a short pink skirt with a single white stripe running down it. It only went about halfway down Zalgo’s thighs, and made it easy to admire Zalgo’s muscular, cleanly shaven legs. He also wore hot pink boots that went halfway up his calves. Jason’s eyes didn’t know what to focus on. The skirt, his legs, Zalgo’s stomach, his collarbones or the fact that the word ‘’Doll’’ was written in black on the chest of the shirt.

And also he was holding pompoms.

‘’Z-Zalgo…’’ Jason gulped. He spun around on his chair, his eyes never once leaving Zalgo. His face felt unbearably hot and his arms shook with nerves. His tongue felt like sandpaper in his mouth and his throat couldn’t be dryer. Zalgo shook his pompoms and smiled like nothing was wrong. ‘’What…’’

‘’I’m your cheerleader!’’ Zalgo chirped, striking a pose. He giggled like a highschool girl and bounced a bit. ‘’You can’t fall asleep with me cheering you on, right nounour?’’

Jason slapped a hand over his mouth before he could let out a shriek of terror. ‘’...you are...insane.’’ he finally breathed. Zalgo laughed a bit. He put his hands on his hips and tilted them, his pompoms rustling softly.

‘’I’m only helping.’’

‘’Please…’’ Jason averted his eyes. ‘’Put your clothes back on…’’

Zalgo looked down and blinked a bit. ‘’I am wearing clothes.’’

‘’Your regular clothes!’’

Zalgo pouted. ‘’Oh come on, don’t I look good?’’ he asked. Jason stared at him, eyes wide. Zalgo swished his hips a bit. ‘’I think skirts actually quite suit me!’’

"Zalgo!" Jason yelped, slapping his hands over his eyes. "Please!"

"Oh don't be so dramatic," Zalgo strode over and turned Jason around, pushing him back to his real. "Now come on. You have work to do don't you?" Jason blinked his eyes open and stared down at his own art like he'd never seen it before in his life. Zalgo bent down and grabbed the oil pastel Jason had dropped and held it up. "You dropped this."

Jason shakily took the pastel and quickly looked away. Without another word he began colouring again. He tried, he really, really, tried to but he couldn't possibly ignore the soft rustling of Zalgo's pompoms and the sound of him hopping around behind him. He could only imagine what kind of gymnastics the god was doing behind him. In a way that was worse, because Jason kept picturing the quick, elegant tosses of Zalgo's hips.

"C'mon Jason, you can do it!" Zalgo kept quietly chanting behind him. He kept his eyes glued to the paper as much as he could until something caught his attention. A pink and brown blur just in the corner of his eye. He slowly looked up and stared as Zalgo did a series of flips, which turned into cartwheels, and then finished off with some ballet spins. He hopped to a stop, only to do another flip back the way he came. Jason leaned up, watching the hyperactive god of destruction do flips and cartwheels. He wasn't even trying to get Jason's attention, he was just- having fun. Jason softened a bit, smiling.

This situation was so...bizarre. There was a god in his room, his boss, dressed in a cute pink cheerleading outfit and doing gymnastics like a giddy child.

"J! A! S! O! N!" Zalgo chanted with each successful flip. Jason's smile grew wider and he covered his mouth to stop himself from laughing. He continued watching Zalgo, until eventually a quiet snort escaped him. Then a few chuckles, then some louder laughter. Jason quickly dissolved into amused laughing. He didn't even notice Zalgo had turned to face him until he heard him laughing too.

"Am I doing a good job?" Zalgo giggled out. Jason's honey coloured orbs flicked up to him and he chuckled again.

"Yes, yes you are." He laughed. When he looked up again Zalgo was standing right in front of him. Jason looked up at him and sighed softly. He glanced at his artwork, then placed down his oil pastel. He turned to the table again and stretched, rolling his shoulders with a grunt. "I think...I can consider this done." He glanced at his artwork and smiled a bit. It definitely wasn't done, but Jason wouldn't tell Zalgo that. "Thank you, sir."

Zalgo smiled softly. "I'm not done yet," he said with a smirk. Before Jason could say a word, Zalgo reached down and picked Jason up bridal style. He smiled smugly as he strutted across the room with Jason in his arms. The blankets on the bed moved aside as if they had a will of their own and Zalgo gently lay Jason down. He hummed quietly as he pulled the blankets back over his toymaker and looked down at Jason, who rolled into his side and looked up at Zalgo with a small smile.

"...you still look ridiculous in that outfit." He murmured. Zalgo laughed and shifted his pompoms into just one hand so he could snap his fingers with the other. Within a second Jason was out of his work clothes and into his own pyjamas.

"I think I quite like it." Zalgo murmured. He reached down and ran his hand down Jason's hair. The toymaker hummed against the touch and smiled, his eyes slowly drifting closed. Zalgo crouched down a bit, staring at Jason lovingly. "...would you like a lullaby?"

Jason smirked a bit. "No, I think I'm okay."

"What about a lullaby with...pompoms?!" Zalgo held up his hands and shook his pompoms loudly. Jason broke into a soft laughing fit and shook his head. Zalgo smiled a bit and put his pompoms down. "Okay, okay." He reached over to the top of Jason's bed and grabbed one of the many plush toys sitting amongst his mountain of pillows. He handed it to Jason, who gently snuggled up to it. It was silent for a moment, Zalgo just staring at him as he drifted off. He stood up slowly and leaned down. He pecked a small kiss, barely just the brush of his lips, against Jason's forehead and stood up.

"Sleep tight, teddy bear…" he murmured gently. He snapped his fingers, and the room went dark. As quietly as he could, Zalgo strutted across the room and out the door.

Absently, he wondered if anyone else in the house needed a personal cheerleader for the night...

#writing #request #zalgo #zalgo creepypasta #jason the toymaker #ask #zilia1938 #creepypasta #creepypasta fanfic #creepypasta fanfiction #cheerleader zalgo #<- yes it gets its own tag #im insane

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notalwaysthevillian · 4 years

Text

Parent Trapped

Warnings: Money worries, kissing

Pairings: Romantic Remile, platonic LAMP

Word Count: ~1.9k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Masterlist

Chapter 11: A Real Date

“So, you’ve come to us.”

Remy was sitting on the couch, resisting the urge to roll his eyes as Roman paced in front of him. Logan merely sat on the side, a notebook in his hand.

“Roman, I just asked for ideas of where to go.” Remy shook his head. “Maybe I should just ask Em where he wants to go.”

Practically vaulting over the coffee table, Roman snatched Remy’s phone out of his hand. “No! Please, let us help. I’ve been dying here. You never give us any details!”

“Because there aren’t any to give.” Logan said before either of them could speak again. “This will be their first date, remember?”

There was a huff from Roman. “Fine. But I want to hear details after, okay? Emile clearly makes you happy, and that’s what we want for you.”

“I will give you details.” Remy held up a hand as though he was being sworn in. “Now can I please have my phone back?”

“Not until we think of a place.”

“What kinds of things does he like?” Logan asked, pen at the ready.

Remy thought back to all the times he and Emile had spoken. “Well, he really seemed to like Roman’s play. He loves talking about his job and how well his patients are doing, even though he can’t name names. Oh, when we were talking about Finding Nemo - Dory specifically - he mentioned that he hadn’t been to an aquarium in a really long time. Something about Patton being scared of the sharks and Virgil not liking the tunnel.”

“That’s perfect!” The high-pitched shriek from Roman had Remy and Logan covering their ears. “Sorry. But imagine it! He can check out all the fish while you check him out.”

Logan nodded, putting his pen down. “Not how I would’ve put it, but Roman is correct. An aquarium date seems like it would work well. And if everything is favorable, you could buy him a cute stuffed animal from the gift shop. From what I’ve seen from Virgil and Patton, their family seems the type to appreciate those types of gestures.”

“Can I have my phone back to let him know then?”

Plopping Remy’s phone in his hand, Roman picked up his own and began typing furiously. He and Logan left the room, likely talking to Patton and Virgil in their group chat.

Babe: How does an aquarium date sound?

Honey <3: That sounds lovely! I know a restaurant nearby, we can have dinner and then go to the aquarium if you want.

Babe: Sounds perfect. I’ll pick you up at 6?

Honey <3: Sounds good to me!

The second Roman walked in the door after school on Wednesday, he dropped his backpack and went to find Remy. “What are you wearing tonight?”

“Roman, I’m working.”

“You have a date to get ready for!”

Setting down his tablet pen, Remy spun in his chair. “It’s only three. I’m picking him up at six. Can I get an hour of work done before you insult my closet?”

“Fine.”

Whirling around, Remy continued working on his design. It was a tattoo that one of his regulars had requested, and he was hoping to finish the overall design by the weekend. It covered a lot of skin and would rake in some much needed cash for the parlor.

He quickly fell back into the zone, working on the clean lines. It wasn’t until he felt Roman physically tapping his shoulder that he realized it had already been an hour.

“You’re done!” Roman said, pulling the chair back from the desk. “Time’s up!”

“Okay, okay. Let me save.”

Roman waved a hand toward the tablet before tapping his foot on the ground. When Remy had finished saving, he found himself being dragged into his bedroom. Logan was already in his closet, sorting through the clothes.

“I’ve found some suitable pieces for a semi-formal restaurant, as well as one that would require a more formal dress.” He said as he laid out some clothing Remy hadn’t worn in forever. “Do you know which type of place you’re going to?”

“Let me ask.”

Babe: Sweetheart, what should I be wearing to this lovely date?

Honey <3: Wear something semi-formal! Though I wouldn’t mind seeing you in a suit <3

Babe: A birthday suit?

Honey <3: I wouldn’t be opposed *kissy face emoji*

Feeling his face heat slightly, Remy pocketed his phone before Roman could steal it and attempt to read the messages.

“Em says semi-formal.”

Logan put a few pieces back into the closet, before nodding to Roman. “You’re up.”

Roman dug through the pieces, holding up a shirt here and there. He shook his head on a few pieces, tossing those at Logan. Grumbling, Logan hung them back up and put them back in the closet as Roman continued.

After nearly fifteen minutes, Roman had a full outfit. He pressed it into Remy’s arms, pushing him toward the bathroom. “Go! Put it on!”

In the bathroom, Remy finally got a good look at the outfit. He couldn’t help but smile. Clearly Roman had gotten his sense of style.

He pulled on the gray pants. The black and white striped shirt was next, though he did fumble with the buttons for a second. It was a simple look, but it fit him extremely well. Emile wasn’t going to know what hit him.

Stepping back into the bedroom, Remy did a twirl. “Hmm?”

Logan tilted his head, taking it in. “I believe it would be best to show off your arms. Many people are attracted to tattoos.”

“I’ve definitely seen Emile checking out your arms.” Roman teased, coming over and perfectly rolling up Remy’s sleeves. “Lo?”

“It is as close to perfection as it can get, given that perfection is unattainable.”

With a smile, Remy held his arms out, wrapping them around his boys when they jumped into them. “Thank you for the help.”

“I have one final question.” Roman said, looking up. “What’s for dinner?”

“I don’t think we’ve seen Gerald in a while.”

“YAY!”

After ordering the pizza, Remy headed back into his office to get some work done. He quickly found that he couldn’t concentrate. A certain pair of green eyes continued to float through his mind.

Before he knew it, he realized that he’d completely started a new design. A brain, with the definition lines showing off a question mark in the white space.

“That wasn’t the one you were working on before.” Came a sing-song voice from Remy’s side.

Checking the clock, Remy swore. It was only a few minutes to six.

“I’ll be home late. There’s ice cream in the freezer, do your homework, don’t kill your brother!” He called out as he grabbed his wallet, jacket, and keys before darting out the door.

He pulled up to the Picani’s just as the clock rolled over to six. Calming his breathing as he strode up to the door, he knocked.

Only for the door to open and have Emile knock the breath from his lungs anyway. The pink dress shirt hugged Emile’s small muscles in a delicious way. Not to mention the pants that were showing off his curves.

“You look amazing.” He said, sure that there were stars in his eyes.

Blood rushed to Emile’s cheeks immediately. “Why thank you. You look great as well.”

“Just go already!” Two voices called in unison.

Laughing, Emile shut the front door, following Remy into his car. He slid a hand over the leather seats. “I don’t think I’ve ridden in your car before. It’s nice.”

“A lot nicer than a minivan.” Remy teased, earning a playful glare from Emile. “I kid, I kid. The van is way easier for when we all go somewhere. Now, where is this restaurant?”

“It’s near the aquarium, so we can park in their lot and walk.”

Emile refused to tell Remy anything else about the restaurant. Instead, they chatted about how their kids were doing in school.

“Patton has been doing so much better, thanks to Roman.” Emile was saying as they pulled into the lot. “I’m glad he found someone who thinks like he does.”

Pulling the keys out of the ignition, Remy said, “Same with Logan and Virgil.”

The two got out of the car, Remy immediately offering his arm. Emile took it, feeling another blush creep up his neck. “It’s just over here.”

“Wait, we’re going to Lottie’s Boulangerie?”

Upon hearing the concern in Remy’s voice, Emile stopped. “Did you not want to -”

“No, I - I do want to.” Remy glanced back toward the restaurant, taking in the shining lights that were going to make Emile look positively radiant. “I just...it’s a little on the expensive side and -”

“Rem, I’m paying for dinner.” Emile’s tone of voice told him there would be no argument. “You can pay for the aquarium tickets.”

“But -”

Tugging on Remy to spin him around, Emile slid his arm up to wrap around his neck. When he heard the sharp intake of breath from the other man, he bit back a smile. “I’m paying for dinner.”

“O-okay.”

Emile immediately let go and started walking, trying not to laugh when he heard Remy scrambling to catch up.

Dinner went swimmingly. The two of them loved their dishes, and their waiter was as polite as can be. Emile snagged the check before Remy could see it, leaving behind a generous tip.

Before long, the two of them were entering the aquarium.

“Wow.” Emile breathed as they entered.

Remy felt his heart swell as he watched Emile look around. He’d purposely picked a day of Aquarium After Dark, so that they could be a little more alone. It was an adult only night, ensuring that they wouldn’t be bothered by any screeching toddlers or crying babies.

“What do you think?”

“It’s so much prettier lit up at night.”

Remy paid for their tickets, noting that they weren’t nearly as expensive as their dinner was. But Emile had insisted on paying, and he wasn’t exactly rolling in funds, so he pushed it to the back of his mind.

The two of them strolled through the different areas, taking everything in at their own pace. Emile had squealed when they found the ‘Finding Nemo’ tank, filled with all the fish that could feasibly live together.

“Look, it’s Dory!” He whisper-shouted, despite the two of them being the only ones in the room.

Remy pointed to a clownfish. “And Nemo and Marlin.”

By the time they reached the tunnel, one of the last areas of the aquarium, the two of them were holding hands. Emile let go to get up close to the glass, watching the sea turtle swim by.

Taking a deep breath, Remy walked up behind him, wrapping his arms around Emile and nuzzling his hair. “How was this for a first date?”

Emile gently turned in his arms, a soft smile on his face. “I’d say it’s one of the best ones I’ve been on.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Their noses brushed.

Remy leaned in.

Their lips connected.

Emile’s hand moved to thread through the hair at the nape of Remy’s neck. Remy curled his arm around Emile’s waist, dragging him ever closer.

When they parted, they were both red faced and breathing heavier.

“Definitely the best first date.” Emile whispered before leaning in once more.

#romantic remile #platonic moxiety #platonic logince #platonic lamp #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #emile picani #ts sleep #remy sanders

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purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

994

Basic Information

What's your name? Name’s already posted on my Tumblr but so that nobody has to check that anymore, Robyn.

Where do you live? I live in some city east of Manila, and that’s all you need to know.

When's your birthday? April 21st.

What's your astrological sign? Taurus.

Do you actually believe in that stuff? Never did.

How old are you? 22.

Do you have a high school diploma or the equivalent? Yeah I got a diploma.

Do you have an undergraduate degree? If so, in what? Yup. I’ve graduated but I haven’t received the diploma nor did I get to walk on a stage because of the stupid virus, but I majored in journalism.

What is your favorite...

Quote? I don’t have any. My brain doesn’t really store quotes for me to go back to; I don’t find the majority of them interesting.

Color? My main favorite is pink, but I enjoy looking at pastel shades and muted colors in general too.

Song? Picking an all-time favorite song is impossible, but for now I really like putting Hayley Williams’ Why We Ever on repeat. It used to be just a sad song that I love listening to but unfortunately the lyrics have since become relatable, so now there’s a sting whenever I hear it.

Band/singer? My favorite bands are Paramore and Against Me! while my favorite solo act is Beyoncé.

Book? I never had one. I was a big bookworm as a kid, but I didn’t get to keep it up as a teenager and now as an adult. Most of the books I own today are still just the novels I had nearly a decade ago, and it’s been a struggle trying to find a genre to get into.

Author? Same situation as book.

School subject? History. A lot of the social sciences are also great – anthropology, pol sci, psychology, etc. In another universe I definitely would’ve taken up a degree in a social science instead of journalism.

Science (chemistry, biology, physics, etc.)? Biology has always been a strength of mine and a favorite. I find memorizing terms fun, and I’ve always enjoyed studying living things instead of chemicals or energy or force or any of that boring stuff.

Math (algebra, geometry, calculus, etc.)? Advanced algebra is fun. So is geometry, but only as long as you know all the formulas and theories; otherwise it’s so easy to fail it.

Language? I don’t have one. I think all languages are individually beautiful.

Operating system? Wow this is random lol. macOS, I guess. It’s what I’m using.

Instrument? I like the sound of many instruments, but in the grand scheme of things the piano has to be my absolute favorite.

Letter? I don’t pick a favorite letter.

Number? 4.

Car? I don’t know the first thing about cars but I suppose my dream car is a Mini Countryman, if that counts as a favorite. I swoon every time I see one in real life; they’re just so pretty to look at.

Pattern (polka spots, stripes, plaid, etc.)? Stripes are my cup of tea, but polka dots are also cute.

Word? The word that’s been my favorite for a while is ‘poignant.’

Animal? I love animals, but I’m biased to dogs and elephants. :)

Country? I don’t have a favorite country. That’s a pretty odd favorite but *shrug* I guess some people have theirs.

Drink (alcoholic or otherwise)? Water, milkshakes, and cocktails.

Food? Sushi, curry, cheeseburgers, and macarons. You can’t make me go with just one choice when it comes to food, my dude.

Restaurant? Yabu and Torch.

Website? I rely a lot on YouTube for my sanity these days so it’d be fair to call that my favorite, at least for the meantime.

Sport? If it counts, pro wrestling. If it doesn’t, I like playing table tennis and watching volleyball and tennis.

Flower? Peonies, roses, and sunflowers.

Ice cream flavor? Cookies and cream is a classic.

Television show? Breaking Bad is my favorite ever, but I also enjoy Friends, The Crown, and Bojack Horseman, and at one point The Walking Dead before it got honestly boring.

Shirt? I don’t really have a favorite shirt, but my favorite type to wear is anything sleeveless. I like giving my skin air to breathe, lol.

Shape? I don’t pick favorite shapes.

Eye color? Olive is beautiful.

Hair color? I’m indifferent to hair colors. Whatever suits a person.

Movie? Two for the Road and Good Will Hunting.

Gum flavor? Fruity ones.

Random Stuff About You

Do you have your drivers' license? Yeah. I had to get it as soon as I graduated high school because no one else was going to be able to bring me to school in college. I was in driving school like a week or two after marching on stage for my high school diploma haha.

Have you ever been swimming in an ocean? I don’t know if I have. In the vacations I’ve had, I don’t really keep track if I’m swimming in a sea or if I’m already in one of the oceans.

What's the last song you listened to? No clue but it was probably something by Hayley.

Do you prefer coloring pencils, crayons, or markers? Coloring pencils! I miss coloring. I just can’t see myself going back to it at the moment because I had bought a really cheap set of coloring pencils that have to be sharpened every five minutes. During my coloring phase I’m pretty sure I spent more time sharpening my pencils than actually filling in my coloring books. I’ve yet to find a replacement set with better quality.

Can you make any origami figures? If so, what? I’m terrible at origami and have always been. Even if I’m given a one-on-one session, I’ll for sure get lost early on in the process.

Do you still sleep with a stuffed animal? I never did. I always preferred pillows.

Do you get cold easily? I do haha, but I don’t mind it. I’d rather shiver or have my teeth chatter than have a pool of sweat on the back of my shirt from being too hot.

Have you ever been to a chiropractor? Nope.

Do you have great eyesight, or do you wear glasses or contacts? It’s very poor. I’ve had glasses since I was 11, but I needed them a lot earlier, like since I was 8 or 9 maybe. My mom refused to believe me when I started telling her my vision was getting worse because she legitimately thought I just wanted glasses to look like other kids. God, how shitty was that parenting? I can’t believe I just fucking let that go as a kid. My eyesight was getting increasingly blurry by the day and I stopped learning at school and her worry was that I wanted to fit in. I’m gonna get more stressed and hurt if I continue to think about this, so let’s just move on...

Do you know how to play chess? Never learned. I’ve watched my cousin play and he tried to teach me so many times, but I just never understood.

Do you know how to play checkers? At one point I think I did, but I didn’t enjoy it.

Do you like Sudoku puzzles? No. I never got the hang of that game either.

Do you like word searches? Love them.

Do you like crossword puzzles? They’re fine but the ones on our newspapers are too hard and use too many references or plays on words that I’m not able to pick up.

Do you like logic puzzles? It’s a hit or miss.

Can you play any card games? Other than solitaire, no.

Do you play board games? Hmm I played some as a kid, but I’ve always been too competitive and I’m never able to just sit down and have a friendly game so I’m not too big on board games now. I’m a lot happier sitting on the sidelines and watching my friends play because it’s more entertaining that way.

Do you do jigsaw puzzles? Not normally but I’ve been thinking of investing in one of those 1000-piece puzzles to take my mind off of things whenever I get depressed or when my mind starts to think about things it shouldn’t.

Do you listen to the same song on repeat for a long time, even occasionally? Yes. Sometimes I do it on purpose when I’m REALLY feeling a certain song at the moment; other times I don’t even realize the repeat button is turned on and I don’t notice I’ve been listening to the same song over and over.

Do you take any prescription medications on a regular basis? Nope.

Would you prefer to be too hot or too cold? I’ve said this a few questions ago, but too cold.

Do you like to swim? Sure. Being in the water calms me down instantly.

Have you ever been to a farm? I’ve probably been. I just can’t pinpoint a certain memory right now.

Do you like instrumental music? Depends on what the genre is, but I do generally prefer instrumental music when I’m working or have to focus.

Do you drink diet soda? Nope.

Do you drink soda? Andddddd nope.

Have you ever put Mentos into soda? I haven’t but I know what it does. There’s already like a million videos of other people doing it so I don’t need to do it for myself.

Have you ever combined baking soda and vinegar? No.

Did you ever make Oobleck in science class when you were a kid? We never did and I learned about oobleck from watching a Good Mythical Morning episode, not in school. But I’ve always been curious as to what the texture is because it looks so fun to touch hahaha. I’d try making it myself but idk if we ever have cornstarch at home.

Do you know any HTML? Yes. Early days of Tumblr, man. People customized their themes and text posts all the time.

Have you ever read any of Shakespeare's work? Well, yeah. I had to read four of them - one for each year in high school.

Do you write poetry? No.

Do you read? Occasionally. A lot less than I used to.

Can you throw a frisbee? Sure. My friends and I played back in high school.

Do you watch a lot of television? Eh, not really. It’s rare that I discover a TV series I’m willing to invest in; I’ve always preferred movies since they can tell me a story within 2-3 hours. Following an ongoing show is just exhausting.

Do you think that you have a good sense of humor? Humor is subjective. I could mesh well with certain people but others might not find my sense of humor funny. I don’t think either of those can determine if my sense of humor is good or not.

Are you a mean person? Well, I try not to be...I think that’s what most people strive to do.

Do you have any bruises? If so, how did you get them? I have one on my knee because a few days ago I knelt to the floor to try to look for something under my bed, and I ended up landing on the floor quite hard and it was purple in minutes lmao. It’s mostly healed now though and I can barely tell where it is.

Does the thought of public speaking make you nervous? It only does if I ultimately also have to pitch something, because I don’t consider myself persuasive at all. But if I had had something memorized or had enough practice or if it’s a topic I’m fairly knowledgable about then I don’t have much of a problem with it.

Are you afraid of heights? It doesn’t bother me as much as other things and I’ve always wanted to go to the top floor of those towers where the floor is glass lol, but like I’d absolutely piss my pants if I found myself standing on a tightrope between two really tall buildings.

So, what ARE you afraid of? Flying cockroaches, plane crashes, and fire.

Are you listening to music? No.

Has anyone ever called you 'disturbed'? I don’t think so, at least not to my face.

Have you ever been kicked out of a place? If so, where? And why? Yeah. From a McDonald’s, but it was my noisy friends’ fault. I knew they were being loud (they were playing some card game) so I just stayed at the very edge of our table, pretended not to be associated with them and waited for a customer to complain about us lol. Normally I’d speak up and tell friends if they’re being too immature, but in that friend group in particular I was the shyest and didn’t really hold a lot of influence so I didn’t have much of a choice.

Do you take a lot of these surveys? Yeah I have this entire blog dedicated to just them, and even before this account I had another survey blog.

When was the last time you fingerpainted? No idea. Kindergarten maybe? If we even ever did?

When was the last time you sent an e-mail? Yesterday afternoon.

A text message? 1 AM earlier.

Called someone on the phone? I think it was around two weeks ago.

Tripped over something? I’m sure I tripped over Kimi fairly recently, like sometime this week.

Do you like chocolate? Sure but on its own it can be too sweet for me, like the Hershey’s milk chocolate bar. I do love chocolate-flavored stuff or if it’s incorporated into other meals or snacks, like chocolate chip cookies.

How many pillows are on your bed? Right now there aren’t any because I brought the two pillows, that I do normally have on my bed, to my desk where I’m currently sitting at.

Do you have any pets? Yeah one of them is licking their balls behind me. The other one is probably playing with their toys downstairs and miraculously being quiet this morning.

Have you ever been on a horse? Yep.

Have you ever climbed a tree? I don’t think so. Most trees here have fire ants anyway.

Do you like art? Sure do.

Do you use any sort of social networking site? I mean normally yeah, but I’ve deactivated all my accounts for the meantime. Depression is a bitch. I’m no longer updated on the news nor am I familiar with the trendy memes anymore but idk, this seems to be the healthiest thing for me right now.

What time is it? 9:11 AM.

Have you ever been in a car accident? Super minor ones where the car I was in only got a paint scratch or, at worst, a dent or two.

When was the last time you felt embarrassed? Yesterday when I almost sent a message talking about a certain person to that certain person. It was nothing mean, but I was horrified nonetheless.

Did it rain today? No. I’m not sure if it will but I hope it does.

Have you ever had a poison ivy rash? No. When was the last time you felt immensely happy? LOL Do you take a multivitamin or any other supplement? We have vitamin C tablets at home but I’m so bad at taking them. What household chore do you absolutely hate? Washing rags. Not really a chore, but once they get all dirty and I have to clean them up it just feels so icky and ueughdhffgbduifhsuf Tell me something random about yourself. I’ve won a couple of spicy noodle speed eating challenges. Can you cook? No, but I’d love to learn. Do you like to be silly? I’m a little more serious than silly for the most part...but when I’m in the right mood at the right time with the right crowd, I can be silly too. What kinds of things have you wanted to be 'when you grow up'? The first was astronaut. Then I came across this interview with a veterinarian and I wanted to be one too. Lastly, a firefigher. Have you ever been on a boat? Yeah, lots of times. Sometimes it’s the only way to get to certain provinces or cities in the country so we’ve had to take boats for a few trips. Do/did you like school? For the most part, yes. I like that I made a lot of friends in school and I don’t have complaints about learning. What I hated the most about school is the scheduling, I guess. In my first school I had to wake up at 5 AM everyday to catch the school bus; and then in college I had to take several 7 AM classes and those were just the biggest, most inconvenient bitches. I also did not enjoy the concept of Catholic school. Do you have a camera? I used to have a DSLR but I’ve since handed it down to my sister since she’s taking up film. The camera on my phone works just fine. Have you ever been bitten by a tick? I don’t think so.

Have you ever seen a wild snake? I don’t really know what counts as a ‘wild’ snake but I’ve handled and held snakes before. Have you ever gone hiking in the woods? Hmm I’ve gone hiking, but not in the woods. Do you have a lot of friends? There’s a lot of people I can call friends, yes. We aren’t constantly in touch, though. All my friendships are super low-maintenance which I appreciate. Do you keep a diary/journal/blog? I have a journal and this blog where I write my thoughts and emotions down. What color are your eyes? Dark brown. Answering this yet again this week... Do you like snow? I’ve never experienced it so I can’t say. I think I would enjoy snow though. I feel that I’d be able to find comfort in it, like rain. Would you prefer to sing or dance in front of other people? Both sound awful. But I’d go with sing because at least I don’t have to move my body as much. Would you prefer to sing or dance when you're by yourself? Sing.

Can you spell really well? I’d say I can. I was really inspired by the movie Akeelah and the Bee as a kid and that made me want to be constantly good at spelling. Do you mind poor grammar? If it’s coming from a native speaker of whatever language, yeah. Like people who can only speak English but still use ‘would of’ or ‘I could care less.’ I’m more forgiving towards people who speak one language, or those who are speaking in a language they know they aren’t 100% fluent in. What's your favorite texting/IM abbreviation? I don’t have one. ‘lol’ I guess? It’s convenient. Do you wear a watch? No. Do you shop at thrift stores? Sometimes, if I find their offers interesting enough for me to want to go inside. What is your dream job? It’s pretty straightforward but it’d be nice to be able to work my way up and end up as an executive at a PR or media agency that I look up to. What is one thing that really freaks you out? Charlie Kaufman movies. Do you like bananas? They’re okay. I don’t hate bananas as aggressively as I do other fruits. Do you eat meat? Yes. Do you drink coffee? Yuh. I can go for a cup right now, actually...maybe when I finish this survey. Do you clean your computer screen often? Not often. Just every once in a while or once I start seeing too many smudges. Have you ever sneezed onto your computer screen? Probably.

Let's talk about numbers.

How many people live with you?

Four. We also have two animals.

136+95=...?

231. That’s essentially 136 + 100 - 5.

How many digits of pi do you have memorized?

Just the first five.

Can you count using binary numbers?

No. Never understood those, not interested enough to start learning.

How many states have you visited?

Zero.

How many countries?

Six. Would’ve been seven or even eight if Covid never blew up. I know my dad mentioned there were plans for us to go to Vietnam this year, and I also asked for a Thailand trip as a graduation present. Damn bat soup or whatever it was.

How many browser windows/tabs do you have open?

I have three Chrome windows in total. On the one I’m on, there are 13 tabs.

How many times have you blinked in the past minute?

I dunno, I never count that?

How many seconds are in a minute?

60.

Are you afraid of mathematics?

Calculus and trig, yeah. The other ones aren’t so bad.

What's the square root of 121? 11.

Sorry, sorry, the nightmare is over :) How about some more random questions to let you relax?

Have you ever read the webcomic xkcd?

I doubt it. I don’t think I’ve heard of it before.

Can you play an instrument?

Barely.

Can you read sheet music?

Not a chance.

What's your favorite kind of sandwich?

Monte Cristo! Omg, that sounds so good right now :( Banh mi is great too.

Do you have a bedtime?

Not strictly but I always try to get 7-8 hours of sleep on weeknights so that I’m sufficiently energized for work the next day.

Have you ever gone sledding?

No, I haven’t.

Have you ever carved a pumpkin? If so, what kind of face did you make?

Also no.

Do you ever make funny faces at yourself in the mirror?

I guess it’s happened before, but it’s not a regular occurrence.

Have you ever played the classic shaving-cream-in-the-hand prank on someone?

No.

Do you think that's a mean thing to do?

I don’t think that prank in particular is since shaving cream is harmless, but some pranks can definitely go too far which is why I’m generally not a fan of them.

Do you like cake?

Only very certain types. I can think of more cakes that I don’t like than the ones I can never get tired of.

Do you like pie?

Just savory ones, like chicken pot pie. Those are more up my alley than sweet pies, which are for the most part stuffed with a kind of fruit.

Do you like popsicles?

Sure, they’re refreshing.

Do you use the television or computer more?

Laptop.

Do you have a favorite chair to sit in?

Not really lolAre you getting tired of this survey?

It’s lengthy but I knew about it when I started this so I can’t complain about that; and the questions haven’t been annoying too so no, I wouldn’t say I’m tired of it.

Do you like to wear hats? When I have the chance to, yeah. They’re never a must for me though.

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?

Most of the time no. Oops.

Do your shoes provide lots of arch support?

I...don’t know. I don’t really pay attention.

Do you like to go to yard sales? I haven’t gone to one since I was a kid.

Have you ever had a yard sale at your house? I don’t think we ever did.

Do you like apples? I like some apple-flavored things like juice or candy. I can’t stand the actual fruit but y’all know that by now, haha.

Do you like peanut butter? Yessssssss. I love peanut butter and any peanut butter-flavored food.

Do you like licorice? Not really. They’re not common here so I don’t seek it out.

Do you like lima beans? It doesn’t sound like something I’d enjoy.

Do you like limes? Not particularly.

What color are your bedroom walls? White.

Guess how many questions you've done. I don't know either, so just guess. Before clicking on it I saw it had 200 or so questions, so I’m guessing we’re at the 180 or 190 mark considering how many questions are left below this.

What's your favorite color to wear? I feel prettiest in dark green or maroon. Do you tell secrets when people confide in you? I’m not sure what this is supposed to be asking, but I’ll give two answers. (1) I don’t spill other people’s secrets when they confide in me, and (2) When people confide in me, sometimes I’ll be inspired to share a secret of my own too, especially if it’s relevant to their situation. If I don’t think it’s going to be helpful, I just keep it to myself. Do you listen to your music with the volume up really high? Only when I’m extremely upset or furious. Do you like to try new foods? Absolutely. How many different programs are you currently using? Like applications? Currently, I have Chrome, Viber, and Notes turned on. How many different operating systems have you used? I’ve gone through Windows XP, Windows Vista, Windows 8, and then whatever updates have been done on macOS since 2015 - I don’t really keep track of their names lol. What time is it now? 12:03 PM. Are you wearing socks? Nope. Are you comfortable with yourself? These days, no. Do you lose small things (like your car keys) often? Hah, yes. Is your mind in the gutter? No. Have you ever broken a bone? I haven’t. Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? I’m a healthy mix of both, I’d say. Which is still a great improvement for me because I used to be an introvert all the way through. Do you read the dictionary for fun? I literally did this for a time right after watching Akeelah and the Bee and having that movie change my life. It made me want to join a shit ton of spelling bees, but my interest waned when I realized there weren’t any being held here. Tater tots or fries? Fries, only because I’ve never had the first. Do you like to wear flip flops? No. The thongs irritate my skin all the time and they always give me wounds. Are you more of an optimist or pessimist? I’m normally optimistic but it’s easier to be pessimistic nowadays. Do you like animals? Yes :) Do you like little kids? If they aren’t being a giant, rude pain in the ass. Are you a 'people person'? Yes. If I can’t satisfy everyone it bothers me. Have you ever seen a rainbow? Sure. How was your day? I haven’t cried today but I’m still sad. Otherwise, I don’t have a lot of strong feelings about this day just yet. What do you plan to do tomorrow? I don’t know yet. When was the last time you did laundry? Around two or three months ago. Have you ever played Snake? On the really old Nokia phones? For sure. Have you ever played Scrabble? Yeah. I took it up for one semester as a PE, hahaha. I also played it a lot when I was younger. Are there any television commercials that really get on your nerves? At the moment no, but this has happened many times before. Do you like scary movies? Sure. Are you itchy anywhere on your body? The left side of my forehead started to feel itchy when I read this. What's the title of the last book you read? Midnight Sun. Do you read more fiction or nonfiction books? Nonfictionnnnnnn. Are you a member of any clubs or organizations? I used to be, but now I’m an alumna because I’ve graduated college. What color is your favorite pair of socks? I don’t have a favorite pair. Do you own a lava lamp? No. Do you have anything else to say? Thanks for serving as a distraction and letting me kill some time.

#basic surveys are my least favorite surveys #but i also haven't done one in a while so...what the heck have one of them #survey #surveys

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katrinawritesthings · 4 years

Text

Jonghyun/Taemin; Flashbabe; PG

happy Pride fellow gays here’s superhero Jonghyun going to Pride. He has light super powers it’s like Flashbang except he’s a babe

hey I wrote this last year and put it in the queue in like December so I definitely apologize that he's not 7000% more anti-pig lmao

One shirt is covered with diagonal rainbow stripes, including the black and brown stripes, and says, in big, bold letters, “Pride was and is a riot.” The other one is pink and just says simply, “fuck cops” in all black caps.

“The back of this one says cops don't belong at Pride, too,” Jonghyun says brightly, turning it to demonstrate.

“Hey boo—which one?”

Taemin looks up from his laptop, at Jonghyun walking in from the bedroom holding up two shirts. Taemin assumes that he's going to put them on over his superhero outfit, because otherwise he probably wouldn't already be wearing the stylish black and white and aqua accented suit. He never wears it at home unless he's planning to go out in it. His mask and shades are both tucked into the collar of his suit’s long sleeve shirt as well, which further leads to that conclusion. Taemin raises his eyebrows.

“You're going in the suit?” he asks. This whole time when Jonghyun was talking about going to Pride, Taemin thought he meant like, as a normal average mild-mannered citizen. Not as Flashbabe. Jonghyun nods, though, wiggling his booty in his comfy super suit skinny’s and flexing one arm to show off his beefy bicep.

“Yeah,” he says. “all of my little queers out there need to know that I'm fighting for them specifically.” he winks at the end of that sentence and Taemin rolls his eyes. That's true, he guesses, and also cute. Jonghyun holds up the shirts again, wiggling them insistently. “Which one?” he asks again.

This time Taemin actually looks them over. One is covered with diagonal rainbow stripes, including the black and brown stripes, and says, in big, bold letters, “Pride was and is a riot.” The other one is pink and just says simply, “fuck cops” in all black caps.

“The back of this one says cops don't belong at Pride, too,” Jonghyun says brightly, turning it to demonstrate. Taemin nods in approval. Both are good, but. Hmm.

“You're going to be on the news when you go,” he says slowly. “They'll censor that fuck in the pictures.” He knows that they will. They'll probably even censor the whole shirt. Jonghyun frowns, looking at the shirt with disappointment.

“You're right,” he says sadly. He tosses in the shirt over the back of the couch, and then puts the other shirt on right there. “I can just say fuck cops out loud when I get there anyway,” he says, voice muffled as he struggles to get his head through it. When he pops his head out of the collar, his wide grin is lopsided and dazzling. “They can beep me out but everyone will still know what I said.” he says.

“Hell yeah,” Taemin grins. Jonghyun throws him a finger pistol as he fishes his mask and sunglasses out from his collar.

“Sure you don't want to come, boo?” he asks. His voice is a little hopeful but not so much that Taemin feels guilty for shaking his head. It's too loud and crowded and hot out there and he knows his feet will hurt after like twenty minutes. And Jonghyun knows this, because he nods back with an accepting little shrug.

“I was going to watch the livestream when BoA starts performing, though,” Taemin says, tapping the screen of his laptop. No fucking way would he miss that. Jonghyun nods again, looking at his mask as he fumbles with it and tries to figure out which way is the right way to put it on.

“When is that, like an hour?” he asks, pulling the mask over his head so it covers his hair down to his nose, still showing off his mouth and perfectly framing his lovely jaw. Even though his mask has custom sunglass lenses built into it, he also pulls out a neon aqua pair of regular sunglasses and crams those onto his face as well. When Taemin makes an affirming little noise he makes a clicky noise with his mouth and ticks up an okay symbol with both hands.

“I gotta go hit up Kibs soon, then,” he says, “so I can bug him to draw me pan stripes and gender-fluid stripes on my cheeks before she starts so I can get there on time. Fuck, and Minho has my glittery high heel boots also, they were going on about tinkering with their armor to make them like bouncier or something?” Taemin can't see his eyes roll, but he rolls his whole head so Taemin knows that he did it. “You know how it takes them forever to do anything,” he mutters. Taemin giggles. He does. Or, well, he knows that Jonghyun thinks that Minho takes forever. He also knows that Jonghyun has approximately three seconds of patience before he starts getting annoyed.

“Are you leaving now then?” he asks. He looks like he's ready. Jonghyun hums, fixes his shirt around his waist, rocks back on his heels and then forward onto his toes.

“One more thing I gotta do,” he smiles. He flounces to the couch that Taemin is laying on, bends over the back of it, leans close, and presses a gross, slobbery, wet smooch to his forehead. “Love you, boo,” he chirps. Taemin makes his most disgruntled noise and turns to wipe his head on the couch cushion. He also reaches up to hold Jonghyun’s hand for a few seconds fondly.

“Have fun, lovey,” he says, tacking on the nickname just to watch Jonghyun’s cheeks literally glow pink. He sees it for just a few seconds before Jonghyun hides his face in his hands and stands up, but it's enough.

“Oh my gosh,” Jonghyun whispers. “Bye boo. I'll see you later.” And with that, he disassembles into a sparky ball of light, zapping into the lamp next to the couch, and then to the night light by the front door, and then outside into the closest street light, which Taemin assumes he's going to follow all the way up to Kibum’s apartment. He is incredibly certain that by the time he zaps himself unannounced into Key’s living room he'll be glowing pink all over.

The next time Taemin sees Jonghyun, it's when Flashbabe appears at Pride by zapping himself on top of a street lamp right over the stage float. He sits there, extremely visible in the livestream camera, faintly glowing through a cycle of soft rainbow colors and waving around at the crowd. He ignores all of the news reporters that catch wind of him and try to grab him for an interview, but when BoA, mid performance set, notices him and calls him to the stage, he zaps himself directly into one of the stage lights and drops down easily.

BoA hands him the mic and he gives a nice little speech about Pride and his identity and how he'll always do his best to protect his favorite little queers and wraps It up by zapping to sit on top of the stage float, pointing over at a group of cops on the sidelines, and saying, “Fuck y'all.”

Then he drops the mic down to BoA and teleports away, zipping from street lamp to street lamp, from float to float, to some of the marchers’ glow up accessories and outfits. Taemin just watches the concert . He doesn't have the energy to check all the news and the social media sites and whatever to keep himself updated on where exactly Jonghyun is right at every moment. He knows that his babe is out there having fun and supporting himself and protecting people. And he knows that Jonghyun will be back later to flop on top of him and give him just as much love and attention as he does everyone else.

#jongtae #jonghyun #taemin #pg #flashbabe au #fantasy #the hero we deserve but not the cishets #he goes out and robs rich people and then glows pan flag colors as he redistributes it to the gays hell yeah #hell yeah #cops hate but it's okay because he hates them too #key is his outfit guy and minho is his tech guy and jinki is his government contact guy and taemie is his boyfriend :)#gays happy pride yall yee haw #Jong calling him boo is very important

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wildefiction · 5 years

Text

Elysian

Pairing: Rob x Reader

Word Count: 1,587

Series Summary: Reader moves to LA to pursue her dreams and finds a best friend in her new neighbor.

Chapter Warnings: Heart-break, Drinking

ONE

"I..I can't do this anymore Rob."

The heavy sigh on the other end of the line was laced with exhaustion, but not the type that would be fixed with a restful night. This was the type of exhaustion that resulted from one too many missed dinners and far too little time spent actually being with each other.

Distracted as he was, the man stilled, ice pouring through his body, the chill of her words ran deep.

"Wh-what do you m-mean?" "Jenna?!"

Rob's grip on his cellphone tightened, his fingers dappled in white, as if he could hold on to the woman he loved simply by force.

"Goodbye, Rob."

-Bee-doo-

The silence deafening as he pulled the device from his ear, Rob's expression of shock quickly shifted to horror and then dismay as he realized what had just happened.

An hour had passed by the time he ran up the stairs to his front door, hastily shoving the key into the lock after dropping them twice. Pushing the front door open, the harsh sound of the wood bouncing off the wall echoed through the entry. He barely noticed. Striding through the house, he stopped short upon reaching the dining room.

Four tapered candles sat in crystal holders, the tip of each wick frayed and singed with obsidian. Perfect white plates resting atop ruby chargers, matching linen napkins were artfully arranged with the good silver.

In the center of the table, a half bottle of wine sat open, the cork abandoned next to the single wine glass; one drink remaining at the bottom.

Approaching the table, Rob reached out, fingers trembling as he picked up a single sheet of paper, his name scrawled on the front in her looping penmanship.

Opening the note, only two words met his blurred vision:

'I'm sorry'

Frantic, he turned the paper over, hoping for something more. In his haste, he'd neglected to notice the brass key that had dropped from it. Picking it up, he recognized it as the one he'd given her to his house a few months prior.

Having landed next to a medium-sized box, Rob's focus slid to the bright blue paper, a black satin bow tied to the top.

For the second time that evening, a sense of dread overcame the man. With shaking hands, he dropped the paper and picked up the gift.

Pulling on one end of the ribbon, the satin fell from the box as Rob worked to remove the paper.

A sleek black frame surrounded the scroll of paper the cardiologist had printed for him that illustrated his heart-rate. Months of hard work and speech therapy had paid off, and, during his last check-up, the doctor had declared he was healthy, no longer needing regular visits to track his recovery.

A second sheet of paper had been included with the gift, this one just a small note:

'Later we'll put that ticker to the test ;)'

'Xoxo'

The tears fell then, staining his cheeks as he realized that this time, there was no amount of pleading that would get her to forgive him.

He'd forgotten their anniversary.

****

"Dude. You didn't…"

[Y/F/N] was seated on the couch with her feet folded beneath her, a beer held in one hand while she stared at her friend.

Scoffing, Rob lifted his own bottle to his lips, taking a long swallow of the IPA.

"Yeah, I uh, guess I'm good at fuckin' shit up."

"Hey man, we've all been screw-ups at least once in our lives."

With a gentle squeeze of his denim-covered knee, you rose from the couch, watching as he averted his eyes, nervous fingers picking at the black label encircling his drink.

"Want another one?"

Not bothering to look up, the man nodded, a faint smile on his lips.

Walking into the kitchen, you thought back to the day you'd been relaxing on your deck with a new novel, glancing up to see the woman storming out of the house next door, a distraught Rob trailing after her. You remembered how he watched, helpless, as she had climbed into her rather expensive white Bentley and driven away without so much as a glance in the rearview mirror.

That had been just shy of two years ago, and while the two of you had always been friendly, until recently, conversations had consisted solely of talk about the weather and your respective careers.

After a particularly shitty day about six months prior, you'd invited him over for a beer and now get-togethers like these had become increasingly more common.

Pulling your air-popper from the pantry, you emptied what remained of a Costco-sized container of popcorn kernels into the machine. Hitting the power, you moved to the refrigerator, pulling a stick of butter from the door as the steady hum of the motor whirred behind you.

Rob loved popcorn. It always made him smile, and although his heart had been broken so long ago, sometimes you felt like it had been just yesterday.

Bending down to retrieve a large ceramic bowl from beneath the counter, your thoughts turned protective when you remembered the pain that had been etched into his features that day.

Of course, you knew how Rob could be. How musicians and actors.. and...how artists could be when it came to their work. It's why, as much as you felt for the man, you weren't surprised when he'd finished recounting the full events of how she'd walked out of his life.

You weren't surprised because you'd had that exact thing happen to you.

Dumping the excessive amount of popcorn into the red and white striped bowl, you drizzled the butter you'd melted over the heaping pile and finished the snack by sprinkling coarse sea salt and sugar into the mix.

Turning and flipping off the light, you pulled open the door to the fridge, grabbing two bottles from the top shelf, the bright light casting a soft glow over the counters behind you. Using a hip to close the door and wrapping your free arm around the hefty bowl of popcorn, you sauntered back into the living room, taking a moment to snatch a few pieces with your mouth from the top of the pile.

"Here, brought you a snack."

*****

Rob glanced up as [Y/F/N] re-entered the room juggling a sizable bowl of popcorn and the second beer she'd offered. He smiled to himself at her gesture; she was always looking out for him. Although he was more apt to keep to himself, he realized then that he'd grown to really enjoy her company.

"You know me too well [Y/F/N.]"

Chuckling, his eyes lit up at the sight when she flopped next to him on the couch, depositing the bowl into his lap before turning and grabbing the remote. Settling in, she slumped back against the plush cushions before lifting her feet to rest on the table. Clicking the power button, [Y/F/N] navigated through the Netflix menu in search of something to watch.

"Hmm, Lord of the Rings marathon or Harry Potter marathon?"

The question was so nonchalantly asked, that you were surprised when Rob laughed.

"If you want me to come over more often, you just hafta say so."

Nudging your shoulder with his, you blushed against the darkness, thankful he couldn't see you, but internally embarrassed at having him call you out so immediately.

Still, he answered, as if he really didn't mind spending his Friday nights on your couch.

"I've seen all the Tolkein movies, and I can't wait for the next one. Let's do Harry Potter, everyone keeps asking me what house I'm in and it'd be nice to have an actual answer next time instead of just bs-ing my way through the question."

With his mouth full of popcorn, you'd only been able to make out every fourth word or so, but regardless, you started the first movie, the tell-tale notes of Hedwig's theme filling the space around you.

Two hours passed in a blur of questions and enraptured silence alike, Rob taking great joy in the discovery of how much he enjoyed the start of the saga.

"Wanna watch one more?"

Raising his brows, the man turned to you, his eyes shifting between your face and the remote you'd picked up off the arm of the couch.

Glancing at the time on the bottom corner of the screen, you noted that it was almost midnight.

The confliction in your expression was obvious. You were having a great time, but this was a huge gig. One you'd been trying to land for months. They'd finally taken the plunge just last week. Yet for some reason, your mind warred with you, the details trying to lock themselves in place while you mentally juggled the options.

"It's okay if you don't want to, we can always do a different day. Not like I'm going anywhere."

His soft smile had you nodding. That really was the more logical, adult thing to do. With an annoyed groan, you stood from the couch.

Rob followed suit, stretching his arms overhead as he yawned. Your eyes flicked to the small strip of exposed flesh between his t-shirt and jeans, lingering a little longer than was probably necessary.

Leaning against the door as you held it open for him, you were already looking forward to the following afternoon as he descended the steps of your porch, spinning around to wave once more before crossing the street to his own house.

TAGS: @natasha-cole @jamielea81 @wings-of-a-raven

#WildeFiction #Rob x Reader #SPN x RPF #Elysian #Rob Benedict

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lord-dusk · 5 years

Photo

Jurassic Emblem-Chapter 10

Scales are quite tricky to draw. Anyhow, there’s the second boss of the game!

Nifl was a cold, desolate land of snow,bones,ice,and blood. Frozen blood. It wasn’t quite the Kirby-esque happy place you’d thought it would be, after the Nifl-Muspell incident where Askran forces killed off warped versions of video-game protagonists and The elder Nifl princess Guunthra being roasted alive like some yummy Barbie-Cute pork. And the situation got particularly better when the sun-dragon Helios was frozen solid, condemning the whole area into everlasting night.

At least the stars and moon looked very charming and exquisite, white stellar bodies illuminating the aqua-blue sky.

Blue and Lucina were marching through the snow, huddling each other for thermal radiation. Blue, having grown up on a tropical island for much of her life, had borrowed Lucina’s scarf and cape for extra warmth(don’t get into that frappucino debate on feathers please). Lucina, having grown up in a desert country with enough rainfall to sustain a 15m-tall scythe-wielding flesh golem, found it rather uncomfortable trekking through the snow. Ryukami the mosasaurus had stayed behind at the ice-floes to catch up on some Nisioisin novels.

The raptors were marching onwards to the north of Nifl, sometimes passing by some shrubs and frost-covered rocks. Just when Lucina thought things were getting rather monotonous, she saw something rustle out of the bushes. Blue took notice as well and saw what appeared to be a penguin-like bird with white spots on its face waddling in a panicked manner before a fox-squirrel thing pounced on it and tore apart its head from its socket, crimson blood and pieces of esophagus and vocal cord spilling out unto the snow and dying it red. Blue and Lucina were eyeing the fox-squirrel as it dug heavy mitten-like foreclaws into the bird’s torso and stringy pink intestines splooged out. Lucina decided to look away and went on her way. Blue paid no attention to the carnage after that as well.

“That was a Repenomamus devouring a Great Auk,” Blue explained. “The world where I from, InGen didn’t simply revived dinosaurs, they brought back Paleozoic and Cenozoic fauna as well. Although if I were you, I wouldn’t dare pet a reppy.”

“Why? Are they dangerous?” Lucina asked. Blue can easily tell right off the bat that humans like Lucina had a profound desire to prod and hold small,furry mammals.

“Oh yes. Reppies are one mammal you do NOT want to pet; despite looking like a Pomeranian with mole-claws, they WILL try to eviscerate you; for a mammal from the Mesozoic they are quite big enough to eat small dinosaurs.”

“Hmm? I assumed mammals evolved after the demise of the giant lizards.”

“Actually, they co-existed with the dinosaurs, though they were bit characters in a world dominated by reptiles bursting with presence and charisma. Repenomamus was the biggest furry during its time, but most of its kin were barely any bigger than an Amiibo figure.”

“And that penguin-looking bird?”

“Uh-huh. That great auk was NOT a penguin-it’s actually more closely related to puffins than to the famous diving birds south of the Equator. Although, it was the the only auk that converted its flight power to swimming power completely, and those damn humans wiped its existence off the face of the Earth.”

“You know quite a lot about animals before the dawn of man, don’t you?” Lucina commented.

“I’m a creature from before man myself, though I wouldn’t be too surprised if InGen resurrected species routed by humanity, like the dodo and the gastric mouth-brooding frog.” Blue replied.

“Come to think of it, isn’t it harder to clone a mammal than say, a reptile or a fish?”

“Yes, Henry Wu of InGen has cloned mammals occasionally, but found it quite tedious because mammalian red cells do not have nuclei, where the DNA are located. You would need to find white cells, which are much less common than their red counterparts in a ratio of 2 to 12.”

“Reptiles and birds, on the other hand, have nuclei within their red blood cells, and Henry Wu is a genius when it comes to manipulating DNA.” Blue explained, frowning.

“Who is this Henry Wu that you speak of ?”

“Why, as a human being, Dr.Henry Wu is a tacky SOB who creates red-eyed, mangled-toothed fatherfuckers and is considered a most dangerous man with the most dangerous technology in the sad history of humanity. He attempted to use my blood to create a line of Indoraptors to sell off for military purposes.”

Seems Wu sounds a LOT like that sperm-slurper Validar, Lucina grimly thought.

The two of them chatted like this for the entirely of their walk until they reached Nifl Castle.

*********

Blue and Lucina had arrived at the castle of Nifl, but they were no guards to greet them. Well they were guards present-but they were frozen solid, and clusters of repenomamuses were busily gnawing away at the frozen body cavities.

I guess a species changes its behavior accordingly to the environment, Blue though as she and her partner pushed the gates open. They went inside the interior and up the stairs.

“Something tells me the weather outside isn’t the reason those soldiers were icicles,” Lucina said, walking behind Blue.”Would it be a bad idea to go into the kitchen wing and grab some potions for the upcoming boss fight?”

The charcoal velociraptor sniffed the solid,icy air. It stinged her nose. “I don’t see why not,” she answered. “though if you see some ANY creature, reppy or not, attacking you, don’t hesitate to knock their heads off.”

Blue waited at the second floor while Lucina brisky walked to the the kitchen downstairs. A few minutes later, she was back.

“Are you ready for certain? During the boss-fight there will be no pee-pee breaks, and no daddy in white shining armor with a shotgun and a motorbike crashing through the windows to save either of us. Understood?” Blue interviewed.

“No need for any of that,” Lucina replied. “Let’s get this over with. I feel as though my body is becoming a gelato cone.”

“Good. If my nose knows, she is just around the corner. Follow me.” the raptors headed to the corridor on the right and came across a door that read “Hrid’s Room: Out for Lunch”. They entered.

“Ugh. That was the fifth time someone has stepped in without my consent,” an icy voice hissed. “Do any of you thin-telligent organisms register the concept of knocking?”

A woman was lounging on an oblong bed spotted with various books. But not a regular woman. Her lower half was that of a boa’s, turquoise-green with purple stripes, and covered with icicles.Her hair-piece were icicles as well, and her Victorian-style corset colored electric blue and black made the entire “cool” effect perfect,considering her expressions suggested otherwise.

“What do you bipeds want?” The snake woman demanded. “Did you interrupt my inspirational reading just so you can become like those popsicles outside?”

“We just want to talk,” Lucina answered.

The snake snorted. “Don’t be honest with me, be honest with you. What you really came here for is my bloody limp body that you can use to nail onto this country’s gates like a crooked Christmas decoration. Is that it, O Exalted Princess?

“Why did you freeze the sun-god? Do you recognize the biblical effects the entire world will face?” Blue questioned, her face contorting in defense for her friend.

“Let me tell you this,” the Victorian boa began. “I am the future best-selling novelist Basilice, and I sincerely have no desire to kill you. But my mistress Sha’Rad Yuwi denied my request and forced to to sacrifice my writing skills for combative means. My writing may be on hold, but my mind is certainly not. Exalted Princess, have you ever actually considered the misery of your foes that killed them because you desired to make “everyone happy”?”

“.....You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs,” Lucina replied.

“ ‘I want everyone to be happy,’ ‘let’s end all suffering in the world,’ those are lines that make me want to vomit out the Niflites I ate yesterday. Those are the shallow,one-dimensional philosophies of idiotic eukaryotes who do not face reality.” Basilice sputtered out. “The light is full of lies, lies! People willingly bask in the glory of light so they never again have to experience the truth of the darkness below! Light is harmful, harmful! And not just the fact that overdosing on UV light promotes cancer on light skin. Do any of you bipeds know anything at all about plants other than the vascular system in high-school?”

“When plants grow, they break down soil to suit their roots for sufficient nutrient intake,” Blue raised her hand in reply.

“Precisely! Around 400 million years ago, during the Devonian period, mosses and ferns were starting to grow onto rocks near the coastlines, and inevitably, these early pioneers of the new world crumbled the rock into fine soil which washed out into the sea over thousand of years, and do you know what happened? Vertebrates started choking! Fishes here and there had no idea how to cope with this influx of mud particles from the land, their gills clogged with minerals. This, combined with volcanic eruptions, consumed all the available oxygen in the water and there were massive, massive, casualties everywhere! Because fishes and run-off from terrestrial photosynthesis do not go well together! This catastrophe makes your petty carnage across Jurassic Park and Fire Emblem look like a squabble between toddlers in comparison. And you little humans use the opportunity to view more serious issues as a excuse to lounge in your chairs eating chicken nuggets.”

“So I killed him! I killed that sick son of a bitch Helios because he’s a major liar, and I’m going to teach everyone that people deserve bad endings, everyone!” Basilice took out her Dragonstone. “And if you girls are truly good character down to the nRNA sequence, you might be spared and see everyone in the world smothered in the darkness that is free of any lies! No more pain, no more sadness!”

Blue and Lucina prepared their weapons. “Let’s fight!”

#jurassic emblem #fire emblem heroes #jurassic world #blucina #blue(jurassic world)#lucina #basilice #fire emblem #fanfiction #nifl #and you thought plants were the good guys during AP biology in high school

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whiskeyandwalnuts-blog1 · 6 years

Text

Carnal Sins - Closed

Margot sat in her chair, staring at her reflection in the mirror, her eyes examining all the features of her face. Her skin seemed paler than usual but not enough that it would be noticed by most of the clients. She had not slept well during the day, her period of rest being interrupted by the stinging lash of memories from a past she had long tried to forget. It had been years since she had taken her destiny into her own hands and fled the place that had been a home only in name. After the demise of her mother, Margot’s life had become a living hell on earth and she had decided that she wasn’t going to stick it out and see if it improved. She knew well enough to know that the longer she waited, the worse it would become. When her breasts had started to swell, a shadow of fuzz had appeared on her groin and she had been blessed with the beginning of her monthly courses, she knew that she was becoming a woman and being a woman was dangerous.

She had packed the few possessions that she cared to take with her, had stolen what money she could from the house and had fled in the night. She had timed her escape attempt for a time when her father had taken Mason to a livestock fair. She had known that they were going to be away for a few days and it was a case of either then or never.

Her heart had been in her throat as she had fled and she fully expected, in the first few days, to be found by the long reach of the Verger’s and their resources. It had been a supreme delight and pleasure to her that she had been wrong. She had rejoiced in the freedom that she had snatched from the sky, the hopes that she had plucked from the stars had come to pass but staying in America was too risky. The Verger’s were strong in the USA but their reach would only stretch so far and the shores beyond America, across the vast ocean, were lands of promise where Margot fully believed that she would be safe.

When she had first arrived in Europe, she did not know exactly where she would go but one thing had led to another and she had found herself in Munich, a city that she had instantly grown to love. Margot knew bits and pieces of European History and she found Bavaria to be as beautiful a place as she had thought it would be. She found it difficult to begin with to integrate herself within the population, her terrible German being a hindrance. She had picked up a few strands of the language here and there and over the course of the next few years she had devoted herself to embracing the culture of the city she now called home. A small apartment block shared with many other people was more of a home to her than the vast estate of Muskrat Farm had ever been.

To be sure, it was not a charmed life that she lived for life was not a fairy tale, a fact she had learned in her formative years. Her apartment was small with only the basic amenities and her mattress groaned in protest every time she sat or lay on it. The wall’s were easily smudged with dirt and were thin enough that she could hear any disagreements that her neighbours would share. Her’s was not a life of luxury but it was a life of safety. Here, nobody knew her name or where she had come from other than she had been born in America and had come to Germany to find her remaining family after the passing of her parents. Nobody had ever asked her for more information than that and Margot was secretive, keeping potential friendships at bay and focusing on maintaining her life and her safety. She did not know if her family would have given up looking for her or if they would still be searching. The idea of Mason or her father finding her was enough to force a shiver down her spine. If they found her, they would drag her back and her life would not be worth living anymore.

The job that Margot had secured was in a lap dancing club, a place by the name of Carnal Sins. There were many such establishments in Munich and they suited her down to the ground. The least likely place that anyone would look for Margot Verger was in a club where sex was the product branded and sold, in as many words. She had insisted when she had first procured the job that she would only work as a waitress but, over time, she became aware that more could easily be asked of her. She had learned many tricks in her time at Carnal Sins and she used them to great effect whenever she needed to.

Margot’s fingers reached up to tidy her hair, straight, long and brown. She had dyed her hair in the early days, a reaction to the fear she felt of discovery but, as time passed and she became more comfortable, she relented and allowed her natural colours to come through. Her eyes were the same as they had always been having found contact lenses to be more of a hindrance than anything else. When she spoke, she spoke with a faint accent that was a reflection of the time that she had been in Munich, her american twang blending to create a unique voice that many of the usual clientele had grown to like. It would not be the first time Margot had spent an evening speaking with one particular client and gently encouraging him to spend all the euros in his pocket on drinks and on the beautiful girls that she worked with.

“You better not be late again Yvana otherwise Ernst won’t be happy.” The sing song voice of Helena, a longer time colleague of Margot’s intruded into her thoughts and Margot turned in her seat, a smile resting lightly on her lips.

“I was just checking the shadows under my eyes, that’s all. I’m ready.” She replied, standing up and smoothing her hands down her black, semi transparent dress with opaque stripes across the breast and the hips, preserving some semblance of her dignity. She wore the dress like a piece of armour, it showing enough skin to encourage their clients desires but not to give them fully what they wanted. She was the bar girl after all, it wasn’t her job to walk around in a bra, thong and heels. Her dress was cut respectably halfway down the thigh.

Margot crossed the dressing room and pushed open the door, the music from the club forcing it’s way into the room as she passed from the private world of the workers and into the public eye of Carnal Sins. She crossed the floor, smiling brightly with the youth that was her saving grace, as clients caught her eye. She reached the bar, picked up her pen and pad, placing them on her tray and winking at Andre, the barman. He had a soft spot for her and she always made sure to exploit it when it was required.

She began her circuit around the room, asking clients who were not preoccupied with the dancers for their drink orders. She had collected the orders of two regular clients when she came upon a man who was not familiar to her.

“Hallo, ich bin Yvana.” She always introduced herself in the native tongue. “What’s your poison for tonight hmm?” She asked, pen poised, pad on the tray, a soft smile on her lips, her eyes inviting conversation.

@nigellecter

#nigellecter #beschütze mich #//hope this is alright

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diamondsareapearlsbestfriend · 6 years

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One Flower to Another

Undertale/Cuphead crossover; Flowey & Cagney Carnation; G; 3.8k

(or: I have no idea what I’m doing but have some asshole flowers hanging out | on AO3 )

The moment Flowey opened his petals, he knew that reset had gone wrong.

He was back to his regular form, drained from the incomparable rush of power the six souls had sent surging through him just seconds ago. But he could feel a different kind of energy, from somewhere high above; something bright and strong and unfamiliar, yet pleasant, warming him to his empty core.

Instinctively, Flowey felt himself leaning into it, stretching up on his stem and tilting his face up into the soothing sensation. It felt so good for a moment his eyes fluttered closed again with contentment, just basking in the warm rays of the...

The sun.

The realisation tore his eyes wide open, and he jerked back so fast he almost yanked himself right out of the ground. No, no way, he couldn’t be – had he somehow jumped this far back in time, or even forwards? He’d never done that before – or was it the kid? But they were nowhere to be seen, as he twisted around wildly, scanning the area: it was just Flowey, rooted in the middle of a wide, open, grassy field, the gentle breeze on his petals and sweet birdsong floating through the air.

It was almost disgustingly picturesque, like something out of a storybook – this sure wasn’t how he remembered his briefest of times on the surface. There were no screams ringing in his ears, no twisted, malicious words and weapons and magic assaulting him from all sides as he struggled to defend himself, clinging desperately to the last remains of his best –

“Whoa there –“ Flowey’s existential crisis – well, if he’d been capable of having one – was rudely interrupted as something sharp bumped against his stem. “Watch where you’re going, squirt!”

“You watch it,” Flowey snapped back automatically, as he twisted his stem around to get a look at the clumsy idiot who’d almost trod on him – only to freeze when he found himself staring right into the unimpressed scowl of another flower. A much bigger flower; he towered above Flowey on a thick, thorny stem, leafy arms folded and head cocked as he regarded him with irritation and a sprinkle of intrigue written across his golden orange-framed face. He was what Asgore probably once would’ve called “a most impressive specimen”, and Flowey had never seen anything like him – monster, flower or human.

“I mean – hey there, buddy!” he quickly amended, flashing his friendliest smile as curiosity stirred somewhere deep in his roots, and it wasn’t just the nutrient-rich soil he’d been deprived of in the Underground. “Just a friendly reminder, one flower to another – maybe keep an eye out for the little guy in future! We’d look like a real pair of prize fools if you ended up squishing me into a petal pancake, huh?”

“That so?” The flower had a low, scratchy voice and sharp eyes that seemed to assess and dismiss Flowey in a glance, with just the slightest glint of suspicion. “Funny, ‘cause I know just about every flower round these parts, and I ain’t ever seen the likes of you before.”

“Boy, that is funny! Then I guess you don’t know every flower after all,” Flowey couldn’t resist pointing out with a high-pitched, slightly squeaky giggle – he wasn’t intimidated, of course, it took a lot more than some overgrown doppelgänger to spook him, but he was starting to wonder whether the doctor might have paid another visit to Asgore’s garden while he’d been gone.

He knew it was idiotic, but the thought that maybe he wasn’t the only one – the last one, the special one – felt...strange. He tore his eyes from the other flower’s piercing gaze to look around the meadow – there were more flowers peeking out from the grass, but none of them seemed to be sentient. Keeping his tone casual, he continued: “And these parts, um...that’d be…?”

The flower snorted, resting one hand on his stem to make a grand, sweeping gesture with the other. “Inkwell Meadow, boy. Where’s it look like?”

“So this is the surface.” The name didn’t mean anything to Flowey, but it was confirmation enough to begin the infinite questions blooming in his mind. What timeline was this? How did he get here? Could he go back? And just where was everyone – he’d watched the entire Underground burning in despair plenty of times before, but this ending...This was new.

It got a chuckle out of his new pal, though, his hard-faced, long-nosed demeanour relaxing a little, as though he’d decided Flowey wasn’t a threat (ha – that suited him just fine for now).

“Well, yeah. Hate to break it to ya, kid, but you’re not gonna grow up big and strong by hidin’ your face away in the ground now, are you?” Smirking, he held out a long, leafy hand before Flowey could respond. “But where’re my manners? Name’s Cagney. Cagney Carnation.”

“Howdy!” Flowey beamed back – something was telling him he wanted this guy as an ally rather than an enemy for now – as he looped a vine around the offered hand, and they shook. Despite his delicate leaves, Cagney Carnation had a strong grip; if he was the doctor’s doing, he thought idly, maybe she’d finally perfected the recipe. Although again, it wasn't like he was jealous of the bigger flower like some wimpy loser. “I’m Flowey! Flowey the...flower.”

Cagney nodded, releasing the vine to pluck at his top petals as though tipping a hat. “Well, now, Flowey the flower – since you’re obviously not from around here, what brings you to my patch? Sprung up for pollination season?”

“Uh...huh! You betcha!” Occasionally snooping through Asgore’s gardening books hadn’t helped him figure out every part of the whole flower deal, but it was his best shot at holding the other flower’s attention long enough for a conversation he hadn’t had fifty times already, and Cagney grinned wickedly, revealing sharp, pointed fangs.

“Might be tough out there for a little weed like you, but here’s a tip. You wanna get yourself a spot right over by the –“

“Cagney!”

They both jumped as a new, higher-pitched voice pierced the air, and Cagney’s smile disintegrated in an instant.

“Raspberries,” he muttered.

“We know you’re around here somewhere!” came another, almost identical but distinct voice.

“You can’t hide forever! C’mon and fight us like a man!”

“Well, you probably could, but um...don’t, please?”

The sly smile respawned just as quickly on Flowey’s own face, as he cocked his head in curiosity at this interesting development.

“Golly, am I interrupting something? Someone on your trail, Cagney the Carnation?”

Cagney huffed a irritated sigh, flapping a hand at him in a shoo gesture but otherwise preoccupied with looking for something in the distance, his eyes darting from side to side. “Those two mugs have been on me all day. And believe me, I’m not the type of guy who enjoys knockin’ a couple kids for six – I’d be down at the old clip joint if I was – but…” He paused as something like regret flickered over his features, and for a moment seemed to soften his whole face into a totally different one – sweeter, sadder. Then he shook his petals and it hardened again. “Guess they’ll just have to learn the hard way when not to go pokin’ your beak into other folks’ business. Anyway.” With that, Cagney uprooted himself, stepping out of the ground and onto two long, skinny but sturdy-looking leg-leaves. “I’m gonna make tracks, and you’re not gonna tell anyone you saw me.”

“What, leaving already?” Flowey frowned – but he’d barely even started getting the dirt out of the other flower, and there was clearly more to dig for. “C’mon, don’t tell me you’re scared of some…”

Cagney wasn’t even listening to him – wow, rude – as he strode past Flowey in a flash, heading in the direction of a nearby forest. “I’ll put in a good word with Rumor for ya!” he called back over his shoulder, before disappearing somewhere into the thick mass of trees.

Flowey sighed, drooping a little – just a bit longer, and he was sure Cagney had been starting to warm up to him – but he didn’t have long to ponder before his petals perked up again at the sound of fast approaching footsteps through the grass.

He squinted as presumably the two mugs in question stumbled into his eyeline; these were a lot smaller than Cagney, and more human-shaped – except for their ridiculously big heads, which he realised as they drew closer were actual teacups, complete with a handle and matching brightly coloured stripy straws. Seriously – were they giving out double shots of DT to any old object now?

Whatever they were, they were in an awful hurry, faces flushed and panting a little as after searching all over the area, they made a beeline for Flowey. He plastered on his most innocent smile, tilted his head questioningly and waited.

“Hey, mister!” The cup with the red-striped straw waved at him, stepping forward with a purposeful, almost challenging glint in his cartoonishly huge eyes. “Have you seen Cagney anywhere? Cagney Carnation? Tall, orange, kinda cranky when he hasn’t had his nap…”

“Looks a little like you, actually?” the other one joined in; slightly softer spoken, he had a big blue nose to match his shorts and straw. Flowey had an urge to squeeze it to see if he squeaked – maybe later. “Except, well, bigger…”

“Tougher.” Red nodded.

“And meaner.”

Oh, they had no idea. A long-forgotten spark of excitement tingled from Flowey’s petals to his roots, and he had to restrain himself from wriggling with glee at the realisation of what he’d just been handed: two brand new toys, wide-eyed and naive and irresistibly breakable. They might not literally be on a plate just yet, but they sure looked like they should be.

“Carnation, you say? Hmm…” He scrunched up his face as though deep in thought, glancing from side to side before wriggling his stem in an approximation of a shrug. “Nope, sorry, can’t say I’ve seen him. It’s just me here, Flowey! Flowey the flower!” He winked and waved a leaf. “And now you two. Who’d be…?”

“Well, I’m Cuphead,” Red beamed as he slung an arm around his pal’s shoulders, chest puffed up all proud like a prize fighter, “and this here’s my brother, Mugman!”

“Hiya!” Blue smiled shyly and waved, while Flowey just about suppressed a snort – brothers, of course. This was too rich.

“Those are some swell names! Heh, I’d have sworn my d – I mean, the king christened you guys himself.”

The cups exchanged a puzzled look, painted-on smiles fading first into confusion and then suspicion. “So,” Cuphead said, arm falling from around his brother to fold defensively over his chest, “King Dice sent you, huh?”

Interesting – whoever that was, it sounded like the big guy hadn’t made it in whatever screwy timeline this was, either. The thought, as expected, didn’t stir any emotion in him, except mild satisfaction that at least he’d made something stick. Flowey stuck out his tongue playfully in response. “Who, me? Nobody sent me, silly! I’m a free flower, just here for whoever needs me. And ‘scuse me if I’m wrong, but you guys sure look like you could stand to see a friendly face.”

Neither looked totally convinced, but Mugman offered him a tentative smile. “I guess you are about the friendliest flower we’ve seen all day,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his handle. “Or at least...the first that hasn’t started shootin’ at us yet.”

“Gosh, I find that hard to believe! You two cute little crockeries?” Flowey widened his eyes, the picture of tender concern to mask his glee. There had to be a story here, and boy was he going to enjoy getting them to spill one way or the other. “What sort of pickle could you have possibly gotten yourselves into? Hey, you never know, I may even be able to help!”

Mugman’s face brightened. “Gee, you really think you could –“

“We don’t have time for that,” Cuphead interrupted, simultaneously cutting off the hopeful note in his brother’s voice and very close to the end of Flowey’s patience. “We just gotta find Cagney before…”

“Before what?” Flowey blinked, keeping up the innocent facade, but he could feel the tension building, magic itching under his petals to summon some friendliness pellets in case they decided to make a break for it. But for now he had something better at his disposal: Toriel’s most damning ‘not mad, just disappointed’ face. “Oh, no…I sure hope you wouldn’t be thinking of starting any trouble with old Cagney?”

Bingo: Mugman bit his lip, wringing his straw in his hands as he cast an anxious glance at his brother, while Cuphead’s frown deepened and he took another step closer

“What’s it to ya?” he retorted, bending down to get right in Flowey’s face – all the better to see the (pretty pathetic to start with) tough-guy act crack almost instantly as he straightened up, shifting from one foot to the other. “Listen, we...Cagney knows what we need, alright? It’s nothing personal. Just...business.”

“Uh-huh.” Flowey raised an eyebrow – the cracks were showing, all he needed to do was poke them a little. “You could say it’s none of my business, but...sounds like you might be in some bad business, boys.”

“We – we don’t wanna fight him!” Mugman blurted out, tugging at his straw so hard a few drops of mysterious white liquid spilled free. “I never wanted to fight any of ‘em! I said, didn’t I, Cups – maybe we could just talk about it, convince them to give us the con–“

“Mug,” Cuphead placed a hand on his shoulder, quiet but firm as the unmistakable shadow of guilt fell across his face. “don’t – it’s okay.” He turned to fix Flowey with a defiant, protective glare “We don’t gotta tell this weed anything. C’mon, let’s just go – we’ll get Cagney later.”

Honestly, if he’d been capable of it, Flowey almost felt sorry for them. They probably thought they’d be stronger together, when all they were really doing was laying bare their biggest, most glaring weakness for anyone to snatch and twist and break right before their little pie-slice eyes. That was where family got you – and wasn’t Flowey lucky that he hadn’t been troubled by such idiotic sentiment in too many timelines to count? Now he was having way more fun.

“Well, that wasn’t very nice,” he pouted in mock hurt. “And here’s me trying to lend a helping leaf! How’s about you shut your sweet little cuphole, buddy…” Flowey’s grin grew more menacing as his bullets finally rose from the ground to surround them in a neat circle, blocking all paths of escape, “before I break it off for you.”

Cuphead scoffed; he nodded at Mugman, and Flowey spotted some kind of magic glowing in their clenched fists as the pair stood their ground. “Think we’re scared of you? We’ve been knocking out way bigger and tougher flowers all day.”

At that, Flowey started to giggle, and he couldn’t stop, and he didn’t want to stop, hysterical whoops ringing through the trees, wracking his stem, pulling at his face until he felt it melting into his favourite horrific visage, and he savoured every second.

“Oh, my friends,” he sing-songed, voice loud and distorted, crackling with static, “you’ll never meet another flower like –“

The first shot cut him off as it just grazed the side of his petals – bright, hot, concentrated magic, but it felt different to any he’d taken in the Underground, and the zing of something genuinely new and exciting only made Flowey laugh harder, but not too hard to weave in between the several that followed it in rapid succession.

Clearly it wasn’t these kids’ first time at the rodeo, either: they were fast and nimble on their comically oversized boots, jumping and dodging Flowey’s first few waves of bullets while firing straight back from their fingers. It stung when they bounced off his petals or stem before he could dodge, but not enough to put a real dent in his HP. He toyed with them a while, keeping his attack patterns simple, teasing them with the slim possibility of escape while he waited for the perfect opportunity to snatch it away.

“Whoopsie!” he giggled, lashing out with a strategically sprouted vine just as Mugman landed; it curled around a skinny porcelain ankle and tugged, bringing him crashing to the ground with a startled cry. “Careful there – wouldn’t it be such a shame, to see a perfectly good teacup shatter to pieces?”

“Get off of him!” To Flowey’s increasing amusement, Cuphead fell for the ruse hook, line and sinker, his fire slowing and aim growing sloppy as he made a grab for his brother’s flailing hand while Flowey dragged him aimlessly along the grass like a rag doll.

“Aw, Red, feeling left out? Don’t worry…” Flowey let the vine uncoil from around Mugman and he clasped Cuphead’s hand, struggling back onto his feet – just before either had time to dodge the much thicker, stronger vine emerging behind them. Flowey gave Cuphead a generous smack and he tumbled spectacularly right back into his brother, their heads colliding with a pleasing crack, “there’s plenty of LOVE to go around for everyone! This is getting kinda annoying, though…” Pulling them apart, he went for their shooting hands, more vines snaking around their arms as he wrenched them behind their backs, earning satisfying squeals of pain. “Did no one ever teach you boys…” He yanked roughly on their arms to get the point across; up, down, side to side, like a pair of pitiful dancing puppets, “that it’s rude...” Magic bullets fired haphazardly into the air, landing on the ground, past the trees – everywhere except Flowey, until he whirled them around so that their arms were trapped at a painful angle, aimed squarely at each other so neither could shoot without hitting the other right in the mug, “to point?”

Dangling the cups off the ground, Flowey amused himself watching them struggle against his vines, smirking at the way their faces contorted with pain as they thrashed and kicked and yelled unconvincing threats that he’d better let them go right now, or else…

“Or else? Gosh, I’m just itching to see how you guys plan on getting out of this bind,” Flowey taunted. “Go ahead, call for help – but wait, isn’t just about the whole forest out for your heads? Just imagine what’ll happen if one of those bigger, tougher, meaner flowers comes along…”

“Well, well, well, fellas.” A familiar drawl interrupted his monologue as a long shadow fell over them. “None of you ever heard the saying ‘pick on someone several times your own size’?”

Flowey swivelled around to see Cagney observing the scene with a crooked half-smile, his eyes flicking from Flowey to Cuphead to Mugman with a somehow simultaneously amused and displeased gleam; one that gave him the impression that Cagney Carnation wasn’t particularly fond of sharing his toys.

Before any of them could speak, he breezed past Flowey, hooked a leafy finger around both cups’ handles and lifted them clean off their bodies with a soft pop. Damn, the fun they could have had if he’d realised that was an option; he didn’t know whether to be pleased or disappointed when they remained both alive and visibly relieved at finding themselves out of the fire and into the frying pan.

“Knew you’d come crawlin’ back,” Cuphead grinned, way smugger than a disembodied drinking vessel who’d been seconds away from having his porcelain butt handed to him had any right to be.

“Boy, Cagney, I never thought I’d be so happy to see ya!” Mugman beamed up at him, cheeks colouring a little as he let out an awkward giggle. “Not – not that I wasn’t always happy to see you, I mean, before all –“

Cagney clinked their heads together, shaking his head in exasperation and what looked suspiciously like a glimmer of fondness as they yelped. “Couldn’t leave you running around tearin’ up my patch, boys.” His gaze drifted over to Flowey, left clutching their squirming, headless bodies; it might have been a tad unsettling, if you were the type of crybaby to get spooked by that sort of thing. Reluctantly, he let them wriggle free as Cagney set their mugs back on their shoulders, not even bothering to stick them on the wrong bodies, which would obviously have been way more fun. Meaner, Flowey’s nonexistent butt. “I see you’ve already made a new friend here.”

Flowey smiled sunnily as the cups rubbed their newly reattached heads, shooting him glares (Cuphead) and almost hilariously hurt puppy-dog eyes (Mugman). “Kept ‘em nice and distracted, just like you asked, pal.”

“And then some.” Cagney stroked his lower petals thoughtfully, until Flowey swore he saw literal lightbulbs flash in his eyes. “Y’know what, if you guys like the taste of defeat that much, fine, let’s go again. But – let’s get one thing clear...” He held up a finger, stern gaze sweeping over all three of them. “I don’t wanna see anyone fighting dirty on my turf. Got it?”

Cuphead and Mugman nodded eagerly, and Flowey felt a slight shiver run down his stem as Cagney’s eyes lingered on him – just the cold, obviously, with his big old lion-head of petals shielding him from the sun.

“Yessir, Mister Carnation!”

“Fair and square!”

Flowey was just about ready to retire for the day, sneak off to the sidelines to watch this scene play out, but right as he was about to retreat back into the soil two slender, deceptively strong leafy fingers curled around him instead.

“Where’d you think you’re going, buddy? Nothin’ fairer than two on two.” A tiny squeak he hoped the other two hadn’t heard might have slipped out as Cagney caught him by surprise as well as by the stem, his grin sharper and more predatory than ever as he winked at Flowey. “Help me out, sprout – one flower to another.”

“Well, if you insist…” It didn’t sound like a request, but Flowey supposed there were worse binds to be in, as he smirked knowingly at the cups. “If a tough guy like you can’t handle a couple of mugs on your own, guess it’s down to little ol’ me to finish the job.”

He smirked back at the cups as they glanced from Cagney to Flowey and back again: Cuphead yanked up his shorts, Mugman took a gulp of whatever was in his head, and both had something blazing in their eyes Flowey recognised. It was the look of someone who’d struggled, maybe even died a good few times, but had too much to lose, was too brave or stupid or determined or all three, to consider giving up. Well, if that was how they wanted it, who was he to deny them another delicious defeat?

His plan might have glitched up a little this time, but, Flowey thought right before the bullets started flying from both sides: the game might just have started to get interesting again.

#undertale #flowey #cagney carnation #cuphead #mugman #crossover #undertale fanfiction #cuphead fanfiction #??? i have...no idea...#my fic

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darcyfirth · 7 years

Text

Hartwin fic recs (2/?)

[Long post]

These are lovingly saved in my laptop's Kindle and I love them dearly. It's umbrellas this time, glasses if I made part 3.

Authors' tagged tropes are included and I tried my best not to include spoilers. As usual my comments are in italics.

☂️ Sparking - LapisLazuli. E, 2k. Traped in a closet trope.

“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while,” Harry whispers, calm as you please, as if Eggsy’s face isn’t pressed directly into the little hollow between his neck and his shoulder, as if Eggsy isn’t drowning in the fucking scent of his cologne, as if the fabric of his bespoke suit isn’t caressing Eggsy’s cheek like a goddamn lover.

☂️ Red Striped Ties - violentcheese. G, 1k. Red string of fate AU.

"Eggsy is the ragamuffin kid who refuses to stop hanging the Kingsman Tailor shop because he has a crush on Harry Hart, the owner."

Eggsy follows his string patiently. Harry ignores his.

☂️ You Get Up With Fleas - evil_brainmate. T, 74k. Corgi/prince!Eggsy. My first time prompting someone (with my old url) and the result is so much more than I expected.

Eggsy is a fairy prince, trapped in the human world and cursed to transform each day into a corgi. Harry Hart is a gentleman spy, and mortal, who picks him up thinking he's a stray. The two of them must work together to find a way to break the curse.

☂️ Paint With all the Colours of the Wind - Della19. G, 1k. Soulmates AU.

Harry x Eggsy soulmate au where you only see colour once you meet your soulmate (so you don’t know them until you see them).

And it goes away when they die.

☂️ our vintage misery - fideliant. E, 23k. Pining, slow burn.

hey young blood, doesn't it feel like our time is running out?

On a difficulty scale of one to saving the world, love shouldn't be this far off the charts.

☂️ into the wails of your windfight - fideliant. E, 8k. Pining.

It takes a mission gone wrong for Eggsy to find out that even in real life, the dead don't always stay dead. Sometimes the movies get that part right, it would seem.

☂️ Class Of Conduct - fideliant. E, 13k. Slow burn.

Or, Six Things Eggsy Has Learned About Being A Gentleman

“Lesson number one,” Harry says. “Manners matter.”

☂️ Random Access Memories - fideliant. E, 20k. Memory loss.

Having a supercomputer in your head isn't all that much to be cracked up about.

☂️ down dark tides the glory slides - fideliant. E, 23k. Pining, memory loss.

You only ever truly hurt the ones you love.

☂️ Or Else - breakdancingfish. M, 4k.

Before they’re allowed to go out on their own, Eggsy and Roxy form a four person team with Harry and Merlin, completing several missions together. Oh, and Harry is the world’s biggest tease. Of course.

☂️ We Are Faking It - lokidiabolus. T, 62k. Fake relationship, slow burn.

For Eggsy it was a thing - he was taking from Harry enough, now was the time he should give something back. Even if it meant playing his lover to get the mission going and catch the culprit. Who would it be if not him, right? Right.

☂️ 57 Degrees. Precisely. - Galahard. M, 6k. Marine!Eggsy, texing, coffee shop AU.

In an alternate world Eggsy goes into the Marines, and stays in the Marines. This is a take on that au, though please forgive my lack of actual Marine knowledge. Also included: finicky coffee drinkers, texting addictions, and baristas with ulterior motives.

☂️ A Not So Lazy Evening - Galahard. E, 3k. Bottom!Harry, PWP. Really good read.

☂️ Vermillion - Galahard. E, 14k. Shy!Harry, slow burn.

He didn't know what to do with that. He didn't blush. He wasn't some teenager to be so affected by anything Eggsy did. Though really, he couldn't remember the last time he'd looked at someone and not pictured them in his bed but rather his dining room, chowing down on too sugary cereal while loudly revealing his plans for the day.

☂️ Soulmates - Galahard. 1k. Soulmates AU. How much do I adore this? A lot.

For Harry Hart's 16th birthday he not only gets his soul mark.

He gets a complete sentence.

☂️ Withdrawal - Saucery. T, 1k. Pining, finger kink.

Eggsy goes into withdrawal without Harry’s touch.

☂️ The Language of Flowers - Saucery. M, 1k. Flower shop AU, florist!Eggsy, lawyer!Harry, meet-cute, mutual pining.

Eggsy is a florist with an attitude. Harry is a lawyer with a conscience. Flowers bring them together.

☂️ The King’s Thief - twentyfourblackbirds. T, 8k.

"Harry," Eggsy said one day, while Harry was deep in a report about weapons smuggling in Ukraine. "I really fancy you." "Mmm-hmm," Harry responded, flipping to another chapter about airline safety standards in Indonesia. "If I had to say it," Eggsy mused, slightly put out, "I would, in fact, say that I am deeply, wildly, and madly in love with you." "That's very good, Eggsy," Harry said absentmindedly, scrawling his signature at the bottom of the paper. Eggsy sighed. "Sometimes, I might think you don't listen to a word I say."

☂️ Patience and Sheer Determinaiton - blacktofade. E, 47k. Fake relationship, prostitute!Eggsy.

Harry goes undercover to infiltrate the circle of a corrupt overlord and is given Eggsy, a young prostitute, as a token of goodwill. Harry has to live with Eggsy and keep him safe, while maintaining his cover.

☂️ Care and Custody - esama. T, 50k.

Eggsy takes out the medal in slightly worse circumstances, asking for a miracle.

☂️ How Eggsy Met Harry, As Told Through A Series of Soul Marks - thayde. 91k. Soulmates AU, WIP. I would warn you that this hasn't been updated for a long time now but if you have a brave heart then march on soldier.

Eggsy stares at the Mark on his chest sometimes, and wonders if his soulmate would ever settle for street trash like him.

☂️ Boyfriend Material - Deepdarkwaters. E, 3k. Mutual pining, oblivious!Eggsy.

"Are you a cigarette? Cos you're smoking hot and I wanna put your butt in my mouth."

☂️ Pig Latin - aerospaces. E, 10k. Fluff.

In Kenya, Eggsy falls off a flight of stairs. Or: lessons in cohabitation.

Eggsy discovers the joys of a home-cooked meal among many other things.

☂️ Considerably Less Cannibalism - LizaPod. E, 6k. Shaving, barebacking. This one is the myth, the legend, the fic.

It is a real, physical struggle to not stare like a dogger while Harry shrugs off his jacket and undoes his collar, sets his signet ring aside. He has detailed, minutely detailed, fantasies about unbuttoning that fucking collar. At least he’s not wearing the holster right now, or Eggsy’d be sprung already. “It’s time you learned the fine art of the straight razor shave.”

Eggsy gives him his best you havin’ a fucking giggle, mate eyebrows. “Like Sweeney Todd?”

Harry’s sigh is just bordering on melodramatic, but he’s also got that odd— Roxy calls it enigmatic—smile he gets when Eggsy trots out some unexpected bit of culture. "Yes, Eggsy, like Sweeney Todd."

☂️ Kiss Me Now (before I can run) - persephoneggsy. M, 37k. Soulmates AU.

It wasn’t unusual, Eggsy told himself. There were plenty of people- just a little under half of the world’s population, really- that weren’t with their soulmates. Some of them just hadn’t met yet; others had died beforehand; and then there were the people in Eggsy’s situation. Sometimes people genuinely didn’t want their soulmates. Either they were in love with someone else, or they just didn’t like what they got stuck with, and Eggsy imagined the latter was very much the case with him and Harry. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what it must have felt like for him, the world’s prime example of a posh bloke, to have his soulmate be some beaten-up kid. He would have rejected him too.

Or: soulmate AU where you know your soulmate from the moment you touch them, and when you do, their name gets written over your heart like a brand. But that's not always a guarantee.

☂️ “It suits you, you should keep it” - eggsystolemyhart. G, 600-ish.

"What...?"

"Pardon, Eggsy."

"What...?"

"Did you not hear me previously? I said it suits you, you should keep it."

"What...?"

☂️ Five Stars, Would Shag Again - EmmyAngua. E, 6k. Seduction.

This time, the penultimate task isn’t to seduce an heiress, it’s to seduce an agent. Merlin assures the final three that the agent is chosen entirely at random.

So of *course* it’s Harry.

☂️ are we human, or are we dynamite - randomhorse. M, 13k. Pacific Rim AU.

It’s been seventeen years since Harry has lost his co-pilot Lee Unwin in the drift, and still the world won’t stop ending.

In the Hong Kong Shatterdome, Merlin is launching a new line of Kingsman Jaegers fit to fight Category 4 Kaijus emerging from the Breach.

In the suburbs of London, Eggsy Unwin gets the draft for Jaeger Academy.

☂️ who got the keys to my bimmer - hartwinning. M, 69k. Mutual pining, mechanic!Eggsy, UST, slow burn.

"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?"

Harry gives him a slightly bewildered look and furrows his brow.

"A porcupine has the pricks on the outside," Eggsy finishes.

☂️ hold courage to your chest - Fahye. E, 46k. I adore this.

Eggsy slumps against the wall, feeling every bruise like it's new, and tells the truth.

"You want to make sure I jump when I'm told?" he demands. "It'd better be you doing the telling, Harry."

☂️ Bang to Rights - concernedlily. E, 17k. Police AU.

Constable Unwin never met a tailor before, but he knows this bloke who keeps turning up at his crime scenes ain't one.

☂️ Breakeven - theshizniiit (orphan_account). E, 85k. Omega!Harry, mpreg.

When Harry walked inside the church (and then out of it, and right into Valentine's bullet) he didn't know he was pregnant.

And now he's back from the dead. This time, with an extra passenger and quite a few problems.

☂️ The New Age - DivineProjectZero. Soulmates AU.

It starts with being cursed.

No, scratch that. It starts with a garden and a serpent. And no, it goes a little differently from what you’d think.

☂️ You Are Beautiful - Sheepie. G, 8k. Coffee shop AU.

Eggsy Unwin works as a barista at the Suited Bean. He's been in love with regular customer Harry Hart for a long time, but he never said anything. Who would want to date someone his size? But Harry sees nothing wrong with the way Eggsy looks.

☂️ Couple of (Couples) Mugs - ilokheimsins. T, 2k. Fluff.

Harry and Eggsy absolutely do not have couples mugs that proclaim their love for one another. Harry is about 70 percent sure of this.

☂️ Gimme All Your Love - midnightsurge. M, 11k. Fireman!Eggsy, rimming.

“Sorry,” a soothing, male voice started hesitantly, “but… didn’ I pull you out of a burnin’ building a few weeks ago?”

Harry nearly choked on his drink as the question registered in his mind, his brown eyes flicking to the side to confirm that, yes indeed, it was Eggsy standing there with wide eyes.

“Fuck, sorry!” Eggsy apologised profusely as he held his hands up, wanting to help but unsure how to do so. “Ain’t meant to startle you!”

Eggsy is a fireman. He saves Harry's life when a mission goes awry. A few weeks later, they meet again.

☂️ Rules of Insanity - inthepapers3times. E, 54k. Dark!Eggsy.

The worst mistake of Harry Hart’s life started like many of the minor mistakes he had made: with a one night stand. If only he had taken the taxi all the way to his house. Maybe then he wouldn't have met this particular young man, and he wouldn't have taken him home. Maybe then all of this could have been avoided.

Harry gets pulled into a dangerous game with Gary, a disturbed man he barely knows, and has no choice but to play along.

Gary is in control completely. He makes the rules. Harry is just forced to follow them.

☂️ dig in your fingers - kirkaut. E, 42k. First time, body worship.

The lack of a silver suppository has set Eggsy upon a certain path. The way that Eggsy looks, dripping wet and half naked, sets Harry on another.

(Or: Total Canon Re-Write, aka The One Where Harry's Libido Saves His Life)

☂️ sins without tragedies - kingstier. T, 11k. 5 + 1. Fake marriage.

"Harry, are we married?"

"Aren't we?"

Or, the five times they're practically married and the one time they're not (yet).

☂️ 5 Knots Harry made + 1 Knot Eggsy tied - therune. T, 2k. 5 + 1. I love this immensely!

Whenever Eggsy gets dressed in his suit he purposefully skips a button or struggles with his tie so that Harry is forced to step into his personal space and fix it for him.

☂️ Like Real People Do - coloursflyaway. T, 3k. 5 + 1. Undercover, first kiss.

Five times Eggsy called Harry a pet name, and one time Harry called Eggsy one.

#hartwin #kingsman #hartwin fic #harry hart #eggsy unwin #fic rec #kingsman fics #ao3 #M/M #Darcyfirth's lists #i wanted to include several more #but they're deleted :(#like blessed are the thieves who stole my heart #it was a wip but so so good

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