WHY NARCISSISTS WANT CHILDREN 💯🎯⁉️📌
It Attracts A Lot Of Attention. Narcs Need Attention Far More Than Most People And Will Use Almost Anything To Get It Even Children And What Better Way Is There To Get Everyone’s Attention? Narcs Are Impulsive And Don’t Think Through Consequences So They’re Often Blind As To How Big A Commitment Children Are, Preferring To Focus On The Adulation Instead. Narcs Know That Word Travels Fast And If They Have An Ex They Want To Get At, They Might Have Children Just To Hurt Them. Especially If They Know That They Wanted Children Themselves. That’s How Petty They Can Be.
Narcs Hate Being Single And Certainly Don’t Welcome Someone Dumping Them. That’s Their Job So They Use Children As Insurance. Narcs Know That It’s More Difficult To Leave Them If They Share Children. Because Their Partners, Who Are Usually Empathic, Think Of Their Children’s Needs Before Their Own And Although May Be Unhappy In Their Relationship, Stay To Keep The Family Together. With Children In The Equation, It’s A Whole Different Ball Game. Because A Split Affects Them More Than The Couple And Many People Don’t Want To Be Responsible For Tearing A Child’s Family Apart. So They’re More Likely To Stay With The Narc Even If They’re Unhappy.
Increasing The Pressure To Stay In The Relationship Allows The Narc To Treat Their Partners Worse And Get Away With It. Narcs Learn How Far They Can Push Their Partners, Without Quite Pushing Them Away. They Learn Their Breaking Point And Push Them Just Bellow That Point. This Allows Them To Take As Much As They Can, Yet Keep Them Around So They Can Take Some More, Giving Them The Most Bang For Their Buck. The Breaking Point Is Likely To Be Much Higher When Children Are Involved Because No Right Minded Person Would Split A Family Over A “Minor Incident”, Which Narcs Are Experts At Making Them Seem. So The Bar Is Raised As To What Behaviours Would Spell An End To The Relationship, Allowing The Narcs To Get Away With More.
Even If The Relationship Ends, Children Still Play A Useful Role For The Narc. Because For 18 Years, The Narc Has Access To Their Former Partner And They Have The Law On Their Side. They Can Disappear And Do What They Want. Then When Things Turn Sour, Come Marching Back “For The Sake Of The Children". Narcs Don’t Particularly Care About Seeing Their Children. Which Is Why They Often Have Long Absences From Them, But They’re A Great Tool To Use To Get Their Feet Back Under The Table. Most Well Meaning Parents Won’t Deny Their Children Seeing The Other Parent. Even If They’ve Disappeared For A While. This Allows The Narc To Dip In And Out Of Their Life. And Work Their Charm If They Want Some Action. If The Narc Has Children With More Than One Partner, Then It’s Party Time. Because They Can Flit Between Several Peoples Lives. And When They Grow Bored, Discard Them And Move To Another.
Narcs See Their Children As Extensions Of Themselves And Some Want Children So They Can Live Through Them And Push Them To Accomplish What They Never Did. So They May Push Their Children To Become Doctors, Lawyers, Actors, Singers, Etc. Regardless Of What The Child Wants For Themselves And This Can Cause Problems Later In Life. It Can Be Like Fitting A Square Peg Into A Round Hole. People Need To Find Their Own Way, Based On Their Own Strengths, Weaknesses And Interests, But The Narc Is Too Focused On Their Own Ambitions To Consider This And Relentlessly Push Their Own Agenda.
The Narc Usually Takes Credit For Any Success The Child Has And Claims It’s Their Genes And Good Parenting That’s Responsible. To Outsiders They May Seem Like A Proud Parent, But The Only Pride They Really Have Is In Themselves. They See Children As A Boost To Their Profile. Because In Their Mind It Shows How Virile And Desirable They Are. Some Narcs See Children As A Numbers Game. The More They Have, The Greater They Must Be. So They Try To Have As Many Children As Possible, Despite Being Absent Parents.
Narcs Don’t Usually Have Strong Parental Instincts, So They Leave Most Of The Parenting To Their Partners And This Works Out Great For Them. Narcs Like To Saddle Their Partners With Children Because It Keeps Them Under Lock And Key. The Narc Knows That Their Partner Has Little Freedom When They’re Almost Solely Responsible For The Children And It Keeps Them Safely Tucked Away At Home Whilst They Swan Around Without A Care In The World. Parenting Is Draining And Narcs Like To Play The Energy Game With Their Partners. This Is Where They Tire Them Out Whilst Preserving Their Own Energy. This Allows Them To Dominate Their Fatigued Partner Because They Have Less Mental And Physical Strength To Fight Back.
Although Narcs Do Little Actual Parenting, The Outside World Doesn’t Know This And The Narc Talks A Good Game To Friends, Family And Co-workers, Creating The Impression They’re Doting Parents And Normal Functioning Members Of Society. Narcs Hide Behind A Family Persona To Disguise Their Dysfunctional Ways And It Can Work Wonders For Their Image And Reputation. Narcs Love People Thinking Highly Of Them. It’s An Ego Boost For One And It Also Helps Them Gain Attention And Favours Because People Are More Willing To Trust And Spend Time With People Who Are High Functioning. Narcs See Everyone Around As An Extension Of Themselves Rather Than As Separate Individuals. This Includes Their Own Children.
There Are Several Mistakes The Narc Parent Is Certain To Make During Their Counter-Parenting Journey. These Mistakes Will Undoubtedly Come Back To Haunt Them, Possibly Years Down The Line. Narcs Are So Self-absorbed They Fail To Stop And Consider That Children Eventually Grow Up And See The Damaging Behaviour With Their Own Eyes. Their Children Are Not Immune From Being At The Receiving End Of The Narc's Cycle Of ‘idealise And Devalue’, Where They Are Alternately Lovebombed, (Showered With Praise And Attention), And Then Subtly Devalued, Criticised, Withdrawn From And Put Down. This Leaves Them Confused And Hurt, And They Start Jumping Through Hoops To Please The Parent Enough To Re-Enter The Idealization Phase Again. This Is A Cycle That Repeats Ad Infinitum, Over And Over Again, Even When The Child Becomes An Adult Themselves.
Narcs' Children Will Be Triangulated And Played Off Against Others (Often Their Own Siblings Or Cousins), And Will Find Themselves Vying For The Narc’s Attention. They Will Be Gaslighted/Lied To By The Narc To The Point Where They Their Own Reality Is Dismissed As False, So That They Stop Trusting Their Own Perceptions Of Reality. They Will Be Demeaned And Shamed. If They Are Particularly Good At Something, Behind Closed Doors They May Find Themselves On The Receiving End Of The Narc Parent’s Jealously. Confusingly, The Narc May Then, In Front Of An Audience, Hold Up Their Child’s Talent As A Source Of Pride, As Just Another Way To Gain Positive Attention For Themselves.
It’s Not Surprising That Narcs Want Children For Selfish Reasons. Everything Else In Their Life Revolves Around Them, So Why Should This Be Any Different? But It’s Easy For Their Partners To Be Fooled Into Thinking That They Want Them For The Right Reasons, Especially When The Narcissist Knows What To Say. Narcs May Talk Romantically About How Children Will Bring Them Closer And How Much Joy They’ll Bring, Which Is All Very Appealing, But When The Children Arrive, The Harsh Reality Kicks In. The Narc Becomes More Narc Because They Can Get Away With It And Spends Little Time And Energy On Their Children Because They’re Still Hyper Focused On Themselves. Despite All The Promises They Made, The Sad Truth Is That Even With Children, Narcs Want Everything To Revolve Around Them And They’re Happy To Take The Focus Away From Their Children Because Deep Down, They’re Big Kids Themselves.
In Short, And To Put It Bluntly, Narcs Do Not Have What It Takes To Be Good Parents. They Cannot Put Another’s Needs First.
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when i look in the mirror
i never trust what i see
having trouble realizing me
told what to do, what to feel
where do i begin to find what is real
i said no, “you mean yes”
i guess
not so sure anymore
an uneven score
wanting more
do i deserve such
i feel i have been missing much
caught in a web of lies
unheard for years, my many cries
chains stay the course
do you think he feels remorse
overactive emotions
dysfunctional neurotransmitters
i’m not a quitter
not even bitter
i just need to know
how do i go
from here to there
care
self-distrust
do i matter much
it’s not a crutch
i’m struck
by a twist of fate
stalemate
maybe
someone help me
figure this out
untwist my brain
serotonin lost
my mood the cost
depressed
on a quest
to find my true mind
real emotions
presynaptic collapse
my body reacts
self-harm
moving to my arm
sound the alarm
imperfections now found
on my body’s sacred ground
tell me the truth
show me what to do
is this true
as tears drop
shocked
mediating tension
hand is wrenching
stainless steel
again appeals
to the theory of
invalidation
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Please don't abandon me, I'll behave, I promise :(
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Carving into rock bottom and creating the highlights
When I don’t know what to do and I’m feeling my way over my life’s base, that’s when.
When there’s nothing but concreted pain pushing against my body.
When I’m trapped in a deep, drained swimming pool, searching for anything to lift me up.
That’s when I find myself scratching words into the barrier as though with broken nails. I let out the emo and the pain and the bad grammar.
I carve out concrete to prove that I can go lower.
And in this graffiti, I realise I can make words from depressions. That shadows define letters. And the letters mean I exist.
And I remember that these highlights wouldn’t be there if I hadn’t created them.
So I type myself a ladder, and I get the fuck out.
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broken, geneva
time was timeless there
no ticking clocks only
ticking tongues every
time i pissed myself
to come clean
and i think my teeth are
still wedged within
those concrete walls
i think my cracked
voice still reverberates
through those stained
carpet halls
i think
i can’t forgive
what i can’t forget
and how can i forget?
when my memories run
laps like safety checks
that felt more like
encroaching…
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Women rising❤️🔥 😝 #femaleportrait #selflove #femaledrawing #feminineart #rapesurvivor #abusesurvivor #womenempowerment #feministart #womensupportingwomen #divinefeminine #womenbodyart #feminista #equalrights #selfloveart #womenartists #activistart #goddessart #goddessrising #portraitdigital #feminist #cartooning #girlpower #artefeminista #mentalhealththerapy #illustração #semirealistic #genderequality #femalenudeart #visualsnack #feminismoilustrado https://www.instagram.com/p/CpMBpYhK91W/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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When we are carrying burdens of the past, or struggling with healing and recovery, we see ourselves and others through the lenses we wear that filter, deny, or otherwise distort the truth.
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Today was a pretty regular day. I got to reflect on my blessings as I had an inmate tell me that they were ready to go home. I realize that my childhood may have been tough, but it could have made my adulthood much worse than what it is.
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Book of the Day, March 29th -- Nonfiction, rated 5 stars
Temporarily FREE exclusively through the Onlinebookclub.org Review Team:
https://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelves/book.php?id=644132
Developing Resilience: Secrets, Sex Abuse, and the Quest for Love and Inner Peace by Penny Christian Knight
Connect with the Author: @pennyk13
This book has earned a perfect 5 star rating from an official Onlinebookclub.org reviewer!
----------
In this book, you will discover the life of one survivor and how she repeatedly started over while learning things that made her smarter, stronger, and more peaceful.
This trilogy is about how one victim dealt with the devastation caused by multiple cases of sexual abuse, her search for love and healing, and in Book One, her life's journey up to her 33rd year between 1934 to 1966.
"Resilience isn't simply about enduring difficulties; it's about actively adapting and thriving in the face of them. I rate this book 5 out of 5 stars because it serves as a valuable guide for women worldwide.
The author showcases extraordinary courage in unveiling her life's most intimate and painful secrets, which to me is admirable. I recommend this book to those interested in memoirs, personal growth, survivors of abuse, and self-help." ~ OBC reviewer
https://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelves/book.php?id=644132
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On the Mountain by Riley Hart
Finished this today it was an interesting read. I enjoy it!!!!!
Book Review:
***Spoilers here and there***
A lot that both Crow and Cyrus went through was sad. To see how Crow lost his mom was sad… he was so brain washed by Chosen that he didn’t realize and understand that his mom wanted better for the both of them.
It took for him losing his mom for change to happened. For Chosen to go to…
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could you hit me
just once, leave a mark
split my sides
for the world to see
rather than fighting my mind
i succumb to the blind sides
of pain & agony
PLEASE
push me against the wall
make me fall, bleed
you invalidated me long ago
sowing seeds of insignificance
punch my clock
leave me to rot
confused by lies
i’d like to see you cry
innate emotional intelligence
this dance has broken my defense
i don’t know what to believe
about me
emotionally lost
my cost
tossed
minimized
killing my confidence
constantly paying penance
drained
soul raining
draining
“stop being so emotional”
my backbone no longer breaks with
stones thrown
knock me out, cold
tired of the toll
unheard, discounted
pressure mounted
nailed to the cross
you say you’re the boss
i now carry my weight
in an altered state
splintered
wintered
hit me, it’s all good
leave me like you should
bleeding
i won’t beg for my life
PLEASE
at least then
i have a chance
leave me for dead
~~~~~~
“Telling a person she shouldn't feel the way she does feel
is akin to telling water it shouldn't be wet,
grass it shouldn't be green, or rocks they shouldn't be hard.
Each person's feelings are real.
Whether we like or understand someone's feelings, they are still real.
Rejecting feelings is rejecting reality;
it is to fight nature and may be called a crime against nature,
"psychological murder" or "soul murder."
Considering that trying to fight feelings,
rather than accept them, is trying to fight all of nature,
you can see why it is so frustrating, draining and futile.”
~ S. Hein ~
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Jason Vukovich, known in the media as the “Alaskan Avenger,” is a figure whose story interweaves tragedy, vigilantism, and the complexities of the criminal justice system. His actions, driven by a traumatic past, have sparked significant debate on the nature of justice and retribution. Early Life and Childhood Trauma Born on June 25, 1975…
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Ukrainian military release footage of British-supplied Challenger 2 tanks in operation [Video]
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