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ennoshawty · 3 years

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HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

#haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu captains #daichi sawamura #oikawa toru #kuroo tetsuro #kita shinsuke #ushijima wakatoshi #bokuto kotaro #x reader

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villainsandvictimsalliance · 3 years

Note

Omg do you have more cute hcs with the lov and class1a/1b

I dont care how long or short it is, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE READING THEM 💕💕💕💕💖 😊😊

Theyre so comforting <333

YES I HAVE A BUNCH. COME TAKE IT ALL.

Tomura is an expert in video games, right? Well, he's currently working from afar with Hatsume and Melissa to create a VR system to help the kids at UA train.

Everything because the first thing he did when meeting Nezu was telling him the UA system sucked.

No more public exposure, no more simple barriers keeping away the villains from the kids, no more pushing them to dangerous places with no proper supervision.

The new job of the League when it comes to working is the UA is keeping the place as safe as possible and helping the kids recover from the trauma of the war.

Dabi doesn't like working directly with the kids, so his job consist on patrolling around the UA. In case a crisis is reported, he's the first at the place and his job is to keep the crisis on minimum 'til the teachers arrive.

The funniest part is the type of crisis he has solved so far. They include:

Helping people with their crushes because they tried to confess and caused an accident. (Dabi has the fun of his life with it, being honest).

Accidents in the kitchen. (No much he can do except using Shoto as a way of taking down the flames).

Stupid fights (He is banned from helping in those since he cheered for Shoto when he was fistfighting Iida for saying something to Midoriya).

And his favorite: keeping Mineta at bay. Dabi is not the type of gentleman that defends women constantly, because he just doesn't care about helping anyone. But Mineta is a type of gross he would have incinerate in the streets if he was a man and not a kid. So instead, he just walks from a safe distance and keeps scaring the kid when he's about to annoy one of the girls.

Tomura always find Dabi is the halls complaining about the no smoking rule

They make fun of each other a little until they realize they should be working and there are kids staring at them.

Class 1-A talks about Dabi like the older brother who was in jail.

Oh, but Dabi told me...

They are actually well informed about a bunch of stuff and they know how to take care of street criminals better now.

Ah, but they're also the ones who check if he is not drinking too much, if he's having proper rest, if his burns and staples are taken care of, if he's not too anxious or depressed, if hes' taking his meds...

If he's not following one of those, they call Natsuo. Oh man, Natsuo has become the emergency contact of half the League somehow. Maybe because he has a golden heart or maybe because they all are scared of Fuyumi by some weird reason.

Shoto is the other emergency contact when it comes to Dabi, hmmm, but sometimes he just follows Dabi bad example and well.

Dabi is the anti-Santa. He's gonna give you that one gift you wanted but everyone said no because it's dangerous.

"Dabi, I'm trying to make a safer space for the kids" , "Tomura, I'm trying to make them relax".

After getting fired twice by Aizawa, Dabi is finally behaving.

This has nothing to do with the fact that he's finally dating Tomura tho.

WHICH TAKE US TO: SPINNER, THE BROTHER WHO ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGES HIS RESPONSIBILITIES.

Spinner works in the same thing as Dabi, but he's the reliable one.

Getting Uraraka down when she starts floating on her sleep, calming people down when they're having anxiety attacks, noting when someone is having a bad day and requesting the teachers to let the person rest...

Spinner is the one actually helping them with their ptsd. He makes everything so easy and pleasant. It's like they're just kids taking classes and having fun.

Besides, class 1-B knows he is amazing at cuddling and people love his hugs. Just by seeing Spinner, they cheer up.

He and Shinso are responsible for the purple hair tendency among the kids of General Studies. Their heroes.

He's also the one who helps the kids with their training sessions when they need a partner but there's no one else to help them.

He became one of the official bus drivers of the school after taking some lessons and requesting a license.

He sings with them while they travel, he always has snacks in case someone is hungry and he has pills in case someone is motion sick. Well, a bunch of pills since Dabi is always motion sick.

He had a crush on Tomura but he realized it was more platonic than anything.

Now now, Tomura and Spinner have matching gamer tattoos that said Player #1 and Player #2. Dumbasses in action.

If Dabi is the problematic uncle and Spinner is the responsible uncle...

That leave us with: Compress the artistic dad and Kurogiri the dad who's always working far away but you can totally rely on.

THE VIDEO CALLS WITH KUROGIRI AND COMPRESS ARE SO CUTE.

101 Flirting with Compress.

All the kids in all courses have a personalized mask. Compress is addicted to creating them.

His beautiful, mischievous kids that once, trying to distract him, stole his prosthesis and kept it going around the school from room to room.

Turns out it was a surprise party, but man if it was fun because Compress pretended the whole time he was a pirate looking for his long buried treasure.

HE GOT A PARROT AND HE NAMED HIM RED BEAK.

Bakugo almost exploded the whole place after hearing such a ridiculous name.

Well, Red Beak loves making fun of Bakugo, repeating everything he says.

RED BEAK AND KIRISHIMA ARE BESTIES. YES YES.

The Bakusquad would kill for Red Beak.

Sero is teaching him Spanish, Mina is teaching him to dance, Denki is teaching him bad jokes and Jirou is teaching him to sing.

Tokoyami is the official protector of Red Beak. Koda is the translator.

On the other hand, Kurogiri always gives them some honey and other things when he visits the school.

He congratulates them on their achievements, he hears them for hours talking about their adventures and he is the old friend you call when it's 3am, you're feeling bad but you don't want to worry no one else.

If you want to solve a problem, call Kurogiri. He's gonna give you the clues but let you solve it yourself.

The award for the dad with more patience goes to: KUROGIRI.

If you really really need to run away from some hours, he can use his quirk to rescue you and he would prepare some tea for you, wrap you in a soft sweater and walk with you through his yard. You can pick flowers or fruit with him until you calm down. Or you can watch old movies with him. Or bake. Being with him is like floating around in the sky, no worries, just clouds and stars and soft noises and lights.

The school always knows when it happens and they are okay with it. Mostly. Just don't do it too much.

Toga is another good option if you need to talk but you don't know with who.

She's actually a great listener and an expert on making things look less stressing than they are. You see, she pays attention at your triggers and moods and if she sees something is bothering the students, she finds a way to distract them immediately, while letting the teachers deal with the problem.

Ah, the queen of gossip.

If you want to know something about someone you need to pay the prize, tho. And she won't even tell you if she considers the secret must be guarded 'til the grave.

She's the one who takes the messages to the parents because she's fast, can hide at plain sight and doesn't put them in danger.

You never know where Toga is. She someone studies like the rest of them, but she's like, selected to secret missions. She has a lot of info but they all trust her somehow.

Maybe is the fact that she would kill and take a stab for you. And that she would never put Deku or Ochaco in danger. Or her family.

She's also Mineta's biggest nightmare.

Try sexualizing the girl and win a terrifying week, courtesy of Toga Himiko.

She won't let you sleep, she won't let you eat, you're gonna wish you were never born. She can make you feel as sexualized, observed and stalked as you make the girls feel. Oh, she's gonna show you exactly how it feels to be a girl.

Also don't sexualize the boys around her either. Stabby queen is not gentle to those who are not gentle with her friends. Period.

Friendly reminder: 0 stabbing accidents since she started studying at UA.

BECAUSE THEY GAVE HER A RUBBER KNIFE.

And finally, the Tomura headcanons.

He's always falling asleep on odd places. The kids have a new name called "let's put a blanket on Tomura".

And then they call Dabi or Spinner to take him somewhere more comfortable.

He's working so hard. He's really working so hard on redeeming himself, even when everyone has already forgiven him. But he has this fear of being a failure or being too much...

The kids are also well trained on how to help him through his anxiety or panic attacks. Even more, some of them have always a pair of gloves in them just in case.

Momo is more than happy to make him more.

It's kinda sad how much he's suffering even now. That's way they all do their best to let him know his doing great.

Kisses in the cheek, compliments on how he's looking, new products to his hair and skin, playing the games he recommends, telling how badass he is when he trains them...

Somehow being around Tomura has help them realize how important is communicating stuff. They all are way healthier now.

Tomura is just... So sincere. He's been instructed to share his thoughts, because he had a problem before with communicating properly. That means he used to forget saying certain information because it was obvious to him, but not to others.

He doesn't mean to hurt people. He's just saying what he thinks. Which also means he offends a bunch of people not by accident. And he doesn't apologize because he is just doing what he's been told.

Midoriya and Shigaraki's discussions are epic. And so are their fights. Yes, they fight like siblings. Which is crazy funny because they are like "friendly reminder you tried to KILL ME" and "WELL YOU DESERVED THAT FOR BEING A DICK".

They've finally found out that you can complain to him or get a little violent and he's not gonna even blink, just hear you out.

It was because Bakugo got a little violent with him and yeah, he just stared back waiting.

You can't imagine Dabi's anger when Tomura told him about Kotaro. He was frustrated because at least Tomura did step on Endeavor and humiliated him for life, but him? He is angry with a man that's dead and gone.

Okay no, the whole League is angry about the things that has happened to the whole League. That's the thing with finally being able to relax and feel. It all comes back in a flood.

They have prohibited being around school when the parents visit. Specially because they are no very civil to shitty parents.

And if a kid confess about having shitty parents, oh boy. The League is gonna BE PISSED.

The UA is still a total chaos, but now in the right ways. They have more normal problems, they don't have to win war and kill evil lords, they complain about not having money to go out and forgetting their homework. And the ex-villians can complain about life being boring a needing more action.

That's a good thing. That means they all are healing, together.

They're gonna be fine.

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sheepprophet · 3 years

Text

/rp obv and /lh for the most part!

My thinking out loud for who Ranboo could trust with the enderwalk state, in no particular order:

A. Tommy. Probably one of the most obvious choices imo. He's proven to Ranboo specifically that he can be trusted to protect him in a similar situation (the trial about George's house being griefed where Tommy took the fall for him). I think Ranboo knows that Tommy can keep a secret. And Tommy isnt really on any sides at the moment - apart from his friendship with Tubbo which would probably his one loose end that could end up being a deal breaker for Ranboo. I legit think Tommy is objectively the best choice for this job (and i wanna see akward duo reunite as much as the next guy), but we gotta keep in mind who we're dealing with. Ranboo's likely not going to be think of Tommy as someone who's divorced himself from basically all conflict and is just trying to better himself. He's so paranoid about this exact issue, he's probably going to default to thinking Tommy is essentially just between sides right now. Plus, like I said, Ranboo didn't say he needs someone who "isnt on any side", he said he needs someone who's "detached". While Tommy definitely fills the former, he definitly doesn't fill the latter.

B. A lot of chat was suggesting Techno and/or Phil? Which?? My dudes??? No???? Yeah sure they probably wouldn't care, but Ranboo has made it pretty clear that he's really cautious about telling them things like this in fear that one day, they might care. Plus, when they say they don't care, they really mean it. To be honest, I dont think c!Techno or c!Phil are good people to be that vulnerable to? Mainly because this is something that Ranboo is going to need unprompted reassurance with and I dont really think either of them would think to do that? Plus, they're very much on a side, that being their own. When Ranboo says detached, I think he means really detached (or at least as much as humanly possible on this SMP).

C. Fundy. This one is odd because I could totally see it happening, but I can just as easily see it not. Ranboo and Fundy established a pretty strong bond throughout December, but after Doomsday it completely fell through for them both. They clearly still care about each other and that bond is definitely still there, but its been damaged and they've both been afraid to be the first to make an effort to mend it. I genuinely believe if they would just talk, they'd be back to normal in like 10 minutes. But they'd need to talk first and in this case I think Ranboo would be the one to start the conversation, which he's shown discomfort in doing before. However, if they could bridge this gap, l think Fundy would be a very good choice (as long as he could take it seriously). Obviously, Ranboo can trust Fundy on an emotional level and we know Fundy can keep a secret (almost too well) because of the whole A Spy's Diary situation. Fundy also said himself that he currently has no alliances on the smp, aside from probably Ranboo and Ranboo knows this. Additionally, Fundy is one of the only people, along with Puffy, and of course Dream, who have canonically seen him in his enderwalk state. (Tommy did notice him wandering around like he was in it once, but Ranboo hasn't acknowledged that time as canon, so idk). Anyway, I think Fundy would be a pretty solid choice if they can just get their shit together and finally make up.

D. Karl? I see where y'all are coming from with this one and listen, I would also love to see these to interact and bond over their respective memory issues, bookkeeping, and disrealization problems. But, I hate to break it to you that c!Ranboo literally has no clue about any of that. No one does. Karl hasn't told anybody about his ability to time travel and atm doesnt have any plans to. Granted, Ranboo could choose him for other reasons, but I highly doubt it, honestly?

E. Wilbur? I know what i just said, but Hear Me Out. He's not revived right now and we don't know when he will be or what he'll even be like when/if he is. But, a few things we can guarantee is that when/if he is he'll be one of the most detached people on the server (both politically and probably emotionally), he'd have no qualms with helping out Ranboo even if he does turn out to be some awful war criminal, and, based on his interactions with Ghostbur, I think Ranboo might be willing to trust him. And probably my biggest argument for why i like this crack theory: If Wilbur remembers all of the shit he did, that means he'll be one of the few people who would be able to relate to Ranboo. He knows what it's like to have Dream take advantage of your poor/deteriorating mental health and talk you into commiting acts of terrorism. Wilbur also would know what it's like to feel like you can't trust anyone, including yourself, and he could relate to Ranboo's disrealization he's been experiencing. Plus, I just think getting to see these two interact like this would be neat idk. Definitely not going to happen, but I thought I'd inculde the idea here!

F. Eret. Fuck dude, I really want Ranboo to go to Eret about this. Like first of all, Eret is functionally detached from everything right now (I mean that's why Dream has put them on the throne twice now). All Eret cares about is helping those who need it, which would include Ranboo. I also think Ranboo knows he can trust Eret and we all know Eret would be such a sweetheart about comforting the kid, while also understanding the seriousness of the situation and treating it as such. Something that I also thought was interesting was Ranboo emphasizing that it would be ideal if the person has "kept a secret before". Now, Fundy has also kept a big secret before (again, A Spy's Diary), but ya know who was the one other person who knew about Fundy's spy plan and kept the secret (which was someone else's) just as well? Eret. And of course, the reason Eret was the first person who came to mind for me: Eret betrayed L'manberg all that time ago and, obviously, had to keep it a secret and did with ease, even at a time when the writing couldn't protect it for them. Point is, Eret checks this box multiple times over and gets a gold star on it. On the note of Eret's betrayal, what I said about Wilbur knowing what it's like to be used by Dream to commit terrorism/war crimes, also applies to Eret. It's often forgotten that Eret was actually the first person to be used and manipulated by Dream. Eret wanted respect and power and when Dream found out, he promised it to them in the form of a flimsy title and fancy crown in exchange for turning on their friends, Eret took it. They then regretted it almost instantly. Point is, Eret can not only help Ranboo through this with the care and respect he requires, but can also do so by being able to relate to Ranboo on a personal level, which I think Ranboo would respond to. Eret is sort of the closest Ranboo could have to having someone represent what he's afraid he could become - someone who's seen as a filthy traitor and nothing more, never able to earn back the love and respect of their friends. But, Eret could show him that, with time and a lot of effort, he's worthy of forgivess just like they were. I also really want this for Eret. Let Eret be able to use the experience that they view as their biggest mistake, followed by months of paying for it, as a way to be able to help this kid that's grappling with some pretty heavy problems. It would be so healing for the both of them.

#dream smp #dsmp #dream smp analysis #dream smp theory #sorta #im more spitballing here lol #ranboo #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #fundy #itsfundy #fundylive #fundy why are you like this just pick some branding #eret #i just noticed this tag ive apparently used before that feels relevant:#hot take: eret was the first person to fall victim to dreams manipulation and has been paying for it ever since #im so big brain /j

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brelione · 3 years

Text

Love and Hate (The Best Boys)

dude come on. you said you’d upload the next chapter on christmas and now it’s been a whole week after and it’s still not out. :(, hi! when are you posting the next chapter of tbb??, tbb????, Are you posting the next chapter of best boys soon? I miss her, when will you be posting the next part of the best boys series??, Ok I’m over TBB I’m just gonna say she ends up with Blah Blah and they live happily ever after, the end. Thank you for the amazing read, it has been fun❤️, TBB is literally the last series I have to finish before I can finally peace out of the shithole that is the OBX fandom for good but like no rush or anything baby❤️,When do you think you’ll be posting the last chapters of TBB?, Hey queen how’s the writing for best boys going,

Series Masterlist

SHES HEREEEE

Yes, im aware this chapter is all over the place. I went through writing four different versions of this chapter and this is the one that I decided to go with. I know that this one is kind of a little ahfioshviowenvionae but it all comes together next chapter (I already started writing the next chapter). Im so sorry that this is so late. I’ve been having issues for a little bit. My grandfather and my dog passed away and I recently had a relapse and I think that’s why it was taking me so long. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter <3

Warnings:Nothing really, swearing and unedited. Also im sorry if you dont like this chapter but like....yeah.

You were awoken to the sounds of screaming.Topper ended up at the foot of the bed, Kelce still clinging onto you.Rafe was absent from his spot but the mattress was still warm and had a slight dent which let you know that he hadnt been gone long.

You had spent most of the night trying to find the perfect spot on the mattress, one arm thrown over kelce and your heel against the back of Toppers thigh.It seemed like it hadnt been a super long time since the sun had risen which meant that it was probably around seven in the morning by now.

Your heart was thumping in your chest, trying to pay attention to what the voices were shouting.Something about a mess and irresponsibility but you couldnt hear much besides that.Rafe stomped up the stairs, opening his door.He was shirtless, face red from yelling and his eyes slightly watery.You sat up, making Kelce grumble.

Rafe’s jaw was slightly dropped, his nose beginning to run and his body trembling.“Hey, what happened?”You asked, gaining Kelce’s attention.Topper’s eyes opened slightly, looking over at Rafe.The tall boy didnt say anything, he just dragged his feet across the room and sat back on the bed, mumbling.You were hesitant to grip his hand, squeezing lightly.

He just stared at a wrinkle in the blanket but the sound of something breaking downstairs told you that it had been more than just bickering.Kelce was worried, knowing that his parents had gotten home late last night and would see the mess he had created. “He doesnt want me living here anymore.”Rafe spoke up, a few tears rolling down his cheeks.

You pulled him closer to you, arms around his shoulders as he sobbed, your fingers rubbing against the back of his neck.He squeezed you tightly when he head footsteps coming up the stairs, silently praying to any god that would listen that it wouldnt be Ward.Kelce’s phone kept buzzing but he ignored it, knowing exactly what it was.

He knew that it was coming and he would be lying if he said that he didnt expect it, nervous the whole night as he waited for his phone to blow up.“What are you gonna do?”Topper asked.As much as you wanted to scold him for asking that when Rafe clearly didnt want to talk about it it was still something that you had also been wondering.

Rafe didnt answer, taking in a deep, shaky breath that hurt his ribs before picking up his head and looking over to his friend. “I dont know.”He admitted.His voice hurt your heart, the realisation kicking in that there wasnt really many places that he could go.

Kelce’s phone buzzed again, all of your eyes falling on him.He sighed, glancing at his screen.He had missed calls from his parents, dozens of text in all caps telling him to come home immediately. “They found the door.”He replied, keeping his voice calm.A new wave of silence washed over the room, not knowing what to say to that.

Your eyes watered as you remembered how simple life was a few weeks ago, all of you eating breakfast, watching criminal minds and laughing as Topper recorded it all on his snapchat.Now everything was completely falling apart.You didnt say anything, trying to think of a solution.Rafe couldnt go to Kelce’s house or Topper’s house since Topper’s mother had one of those security cameras outside of her home and she’d recognize him immediately.

She was still pissy about Topper’s accident, she’d explode if he let friends over. “SO what happens now?”Topper asked.You were all out of ideas.A simple drive or icecream or a movie couldnt solve any of this. “I mean...think about it.We’re adults, right?Child protective services cant stop us if we leave.”Kelce muttered.Rafe nodded, snapping his fingers.

“Yeah, yeah!You’re right.”He agreed, causing your eyes to widen.They were acting insane. They couldnt be serious about just getting up and leaving forever, right? “No, no hes not.We cant just-we cant just leave!”You exclaimed.They were actually going crazy.How could they even think like that? “Why?What do you have here, (Y/N)?”He asked.You paused, thinking about it.

You didnt really have anything.You had your house of course but other than that you had nothing but memories and your boys.You didnt want to admit that he was right, letting out a quiet sigh. “But leaving forever isnt the answer.”You muttered.Rafe rubbed your back, shaking his head. “Doesnt have to be forever, baby.”He answered.

“But- but just cause we arent kids doesnt mean we cant be registered as missing people.They’ll come after us.”You told them.You knew that nobody outside of this room actually cared about you enough to report you as missing but you were scrambling through your thoughts, desperately hunting for a reason to stay on the shitty island that you had learned to love so much.Topper shrugged, not really caring.

“Guys, guys. Okay, look. You’re all fucked, ill admit it. But thats fine! Are you guys forgetting that I still have a house- you guys can just stay there until this whole thing blows over just like you always have!”You reminded them, hoping they’d agree. “This isnt gonna blow over, (Y/N). I cant come back here.”Rafe told you, becoming aggravated.

“THEN MOVE IN! All of you guys, you can just move in, okay? You dont have to leave- I still have my moms money! We’ll figure it out as we go and…. And it’ll be fine.”You insisted. “Move in with you?”Rafe asked. You nodded, wiping your nose. “You practically live with me already, it wont be that different.”You told him, gripping his hand.

It was a messy blur as Rafe packed his things, grabbing anything that he thought could be important. A photo of his mother, his birth certificate and diploma, laptop and ipad, the Frozen ll record. Kelce and Topper just watched, neither of them ready for anything like this so early in the morning.

Maybe if you werent so tired and upset you wouldnt have said it, but here you were in Rafe’s truck, a dufflebag full of his things at your feet with the boys in the backseat as he drove to your house, a few tears rolling down his cheeks as the thoughts finally took over his brain. Kelce had got aggravated and shut down his phone entirely, staring out the window.

The last thing you were expecting was to come down your road only to see a car that was practically falling apart already in your driveway, a tall man with his hands over his forehead as he tried to look in your windows. “What the fuck….”Rafe muttered, reaching for the door handle when you gripped his hand. “Dont, we dont know what he’s doing.”You told him, hoping he’d listen.

Turns out he wasnt the one you had to worry about, Kelce swinging his door open and sprinting up your driveway before anyone could even stop him. Wherever Kelce went Topper went, the boy struggling to get the seatbelt over his cast before jumping out of the truck and nearly falling into a puddle. “ESCUSE ME! MR SIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOOKING IN MY HOUSE?”Kelce shouted, purposely making his voice deeper.

The man turned, confused as to why two half asleep teenage boys were walking towards him. “Your house?”The man asked. “Yes, sir. You ever heard of a gay couple before?”Topper asked, making Kelce break character for a moment.

“Well, no, its not that. Its just that I thought this was someone elses house.”The man muttered, confused. You had slid down your seat, hoping that the man wouldnt see you. “He’s about to leave.”Rafe whispered.

“Who’s the other guy in the car?”The man asked, pointing to Rafe’s figure. Kelce glanced over at Topper with wide eyes, trying to think. “Our son.”Kelce replied, cringing the moment he said it. The man only looked more confused, looking between the two boys. “How old are you guys?”The man asked, clearly not buying their story.

“Excuse me? Are you saying that we’re too old to have a son? I did not spend years training for a medical degreee to have some random old man come and tell us how old our son can be!”Topper exclaimed. “I didnt spend years trying to find a surrogate and figuring out a way to make a robot nanny for this!”He sighed, trying his best not to smile.

“Could you please leave the property before we call the police?”Kelce asked. The man was beyond confused at this point, quickly making his way to his shitty car before slowly backing out of the driveway, eyes still scanning the area before he gave up and went down the street.

You let out a sigh of relief, moving to get up when Rafe placed his hand on top of your head to keep you down. “Hes coming around again.”He whispered to you, taking in a shaky breath and holding it in his lungs as the car passed a second time. Topper and Kelce were standing by the door, staring at Rafe almost as telling him to get out and make a run for it.

“Open the door in 3...2…”You didnt wait, jumping out and running towards the house, typing in the key pad as quick as you could, Topper’s hand pushing you inside. “Here he comes again!”He exclaimed, coming in right behind you along with the others before Rafe slammed the door shut and locked it, letting out a laugh.

“Oh god, that was scary.”He chuckled. Kelce and Topper nodded as well, eventually laughing. “Was that my dad?”You asked. “Maybe.”Topper answered. Now that you thought about it, your dad didnt same important. Nothing did. You lived on a huge rock that’s floating around space and you’re concerned about your dad when your boyfriends best friends are moving in.

“What’d you tell him?”You asked. “We told him that we’re a gay couple, Topper’s a doctor and Rafe is our child.”Kelce replied. You giggled, snorting. “I mean, as you should.”You replied. “Hell yeah.”Kelce grinned. Topper tapped at his arm. “Bro, you wanna get married?”Topper asked. Kelce laughed again, nodding.

“I’ll get baptised and get you guys married!”Rafe volunteered, all of you turning to look at him. “Did you just say baptised?”Kelce asked. Rafe nodded, eyebrows furrowing. “Is that not the right word?”He asked. Topper shook his head. “The word is ordained.”He informed the tall boy. “He’s trying his best.”You replied, sitting down on the chair that you werent used to sitting in.

“You think he’s gonna come back?”You asked. Topper groaned, sitting down. “Well, I hope not. I dont want my husband and I to have to fight him.”He grinned. You rolled your eyes, changing positions in the chair. “Did he look like me?”You asked, leaning your head against the arm rest, groaning when Rafe pushed your legs aside and sat down with you.

“Not really… he had rat tails for eyebrows.”Kelce replied, putting his fingers over his eyebrows. “Do I have rat tail eyebrows?”You asked, grinning when Rafe reached forward and poked your eyebrow, a chuckle slipping past his lips. “You wish.”He replied. “Fuck off.”You answered. “Dont be fucking rude.”He grinned, kissing you quickly before pulling away with a small smile.

You were shocked, trying to hide your surprise. It wasnt like you werent used to kissing Rafe by now, it was just that he had never done it in front of the boys before. They looked nearly as confused as you, the thought of Rafe kissing you in front of them never even being a concern until now. They were used to him getting most of your love and attention but that had just stirred something within them.

“So how are we gonna do this? I dont know about you guys but im not going back to my house anytime soon.”Kelce announced. Rafe lifted his head, looking over to the boy. “You could always sneak in your own window to grab your things...maybe wait until theyre at work. What about you, Top?”Rafe asked, turning his attention to the blonde boy.

“What do I have at my house that I need? Like, really need.”He asked, grinning when none of you could answer. “Problem solved.”He replied. “What time is it?”Rafe asked, breaking the silence. “Ten.”Kelce replied, closing his eyes as he leaned against the couch. “Im going upstairs to take a nap then.”Topper yawned, slowly making his way down the hall into the first floor guest room.

It was arguably the worst since it also worked as your moms office, a queen bed pushed into the corner. You wiggled out of Rafe’s grip, smiling when he whined. You went into the kitchen, grabbing a poptart. For the situation you felt rather calm, opening the silver package and taking a bite of one of the sweet pastries.

The energy in the house felt different than it had yesterday. You werent sure why, maybe it was just the comfort of knowing that the boys were going to be living with you now and you wouldnt have to worry as much about Rafe or Topper’s relationship with his mom.

“So how are we gonna handle this?”Kelce asked, confusing you. “The house, I mean. You have this whole house and like...30 million dollars. We can literally redecorate however we want, maybe even clean out your moms office if youre okay with it.”He suggested.

You nodded, the idea of getting the memory of your mother cleansed from your life sounded appealing. His excitement took over as he opened his amazon prime app, looking for new decor. “How do you feel about your moms room?”He asked, not wanting to push your limits. You shrugged, swallowing part of the pastry. “Shes not using it.”You replied, surprised by how morbid you sounded.

He simply nodded, shifting in his seat as he added things to his cart. “Can we redo your room? It’s been the same color since we were fourteen.”Rafe suggested. You shrugged, not really caring. You didnt spend a large amount of time in your bedroom anyways. You scrolled through your phone for a few minutes, seeing a little red bubble next to your messaging app that let you know that you had gotten a text. Curious, you opened it.

As soon as you saw who it was a pit grew in your stomach, eyes widening. It was her. “Sweet words, (Y/N).”The text read. You knew that it was your uncle just trying to mess with you but it still caused your anxiety to skyrocket, deciding to block the number and place your phone between your thighs, taking in a deep breath through your nose.

Topper dragged his feet, coming out of the room with a frown. “That’s the most uncomfortable bed in all of history.”He muttered, sitting down on the couch instead. “You can go upstairs.’You reminded him, feeling your phone buzz against your inner thigh.

He just hummed, leaning his head against the back of the couch. “How long was I in there?”He asked. “Literally not even ten minutes.”Kelce replied, still scrolling. “Did I miss anything?”Topper asked. You didnt reply, breaking off another piece of the poptart. “We’re gonna redecorate the house.”Kelce answered. Topper nodded, lifting his head.

“Does that mean that office too?”Topper asked. You nodded, staring at a spot on your carpet. “Does that mean we get to open the file cabinet in the guest room?”He asked, all of you looking over at him. The thought made you feel nauseous. Even if she wasnt here to yell at you you knew that opening the file cabinet would still scare you anyways.

“If theres a dead body in there I swear to god-”You muttered, earning a chuckle from Rafe. “A body couldnt fit in there.”he replied, making your eyebrows furrow. “How do you know where bodies can fit?”You asked. “No, no. Like, its not….well...maybe a raccoon body.”He admitted. “Rafe!”You exclaimed, smacking his thigh.

He rolled his eyes, pulling you into his lap. “There’s no raccoon body.”He answered. “I think theres a raccoon body.”Kelce replied. “Theres not.”You answered. Topper grinned, skipping into the room and beginning to open the cabinet, the three of you following him. “Okay, who votes raccoon body?”He asked, his hand on the knob.

Kelce raised his hand, grabbing your arm to make you hold your hand up as well. “Ready?”Topper asked before pulling the door open, looking into it. His face fell immediately, not expecting this. “What?”You asked, stepping past Kelce and looking into the cabinet.Guns were being held by small metal pieces, multiple clear bags full of plants and needles on the floor, bullets on sashes hanging with the guns.

The two of you just stared, ignoring Rafe and Kelce until they came up behind you, equally as confused. “What the fuck?”Rafe asked, seeing the bags. Kelce slammed the doors shut, locking it. “We’re not telling anyone about this, right?”He asked, looking at all of you. “What are we gonna do with all that? We cant just keep it here!”Topper argued.

Rafe shrugged, resting his elbow on your shoulder. “We smoke the weed and throw the guns in the river, obviously.”Rafe answered. “We’re not smoking weed, Rafe.”You answered. “Well your mom didnt have a liscense to carry, right?”Kelce asked. You shook your head, figuring it would be hung up somewhere in the house to remind you of the power she had.

“Right, okay. So we cant call the cops and we cant keep it here.”Kelce answered, clicking the lock on the cabinet. “What’d your mom even do for a living?”Topper asked. You frowned, thinking back. You never really knew what your mother did, you just stayed quiet and hoped you wouldnt make her angry. She’d disappear for months, money would appear in your bank account, she’d pay the bills aned thats all you needed to know.

She’d have long phone calls with people in her office, grounding you if you even dared to listen. “I dont know.”You replied, cringing at how stupid you sounded. “She has these cabinets all over the house, doesnt she?”Kelce asked. “The one in her room is actual files.”You told him, hoping that there were no sorts of hidden things in her room.

“Should we go check?” Rafe asked, out of the room with a grin before any of you could even answer. You sighed, slightly annoyed that he was treating this like a scavenger hunt. “Its been here this whole time, im sure nothings gonna happen.”Kelce assured you, patting you on the shoulder before his fingers tickled your arm and wrist, gripping your hand and bringing you upstairs.

“I ordered some tapestries, succulents, fake vines and some new blankets for our new movie room.”He told you, nearly slipping up. “Movie room?”You asked, nearly slipping on the stairs. “Your mom has a big tv, I figured it could be like a second living room if you’re comfortable with that.”He answered, pausing at the top of the stairs so he could wait for you.

Rafe was in your mother’s room, carefully pulling on the drawers, eventually finding out that the top one was locked. He looked over at you, silently asking if you knew where the key was. You shook your head, letting go of Kelce’s hand and opening the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up.

Your mother kept most of your medical documents and anything like that to herself along with basically everything that proved you existed. Baby photos, ultra sounds, old school tests. “We could just move it into the other guest room.”Rafe muttered, hoping he wasnt making you upset. You ignored him, looking through all the little colored tags, your eyes falling on a silver tag, your eyebrows furrowing. No other ones had that color.

You picked it up, sitting down and reading it over. The words were all bundled together, ink scratches and smudges told you that it wasnt a serious document. The only word you could make out was ‘arsonist’. Nothing else was eligible. “Can we take it right now?”You asked, placing the paper on the floor and closing the drawer. Rafe nodded, Kelce grabbing one side while Rafe grabbed the other. Topper grinned, leaning against your mothers unused desk.

“I would help but my arms broken.”he laughed, watching as Kelce struggled, walking backwards. “Some moral support would be great.”Kelce rolled his eyes. You grinned, slowly clapping. “Great job, guys. You’re doing great moving that illegal file cabinet.”You held back a laugh. They turned carefully, shuffling as they eventually got to the guest bedroom.

“How do you feel about this?”Topper asked, sitting down on the chair. You sighed, shrugging. “I mean, you know. Its not that I dont love the idea of you guys being here but like… its the circumstances.”You answered, sighing when he pulled you closer with his good arm, rubbing your back. “Thanks a lot for this, though. Like in all seriousness im really grateful that you’re in my life.”He blushed, looking up at you. You smiled, kissing his nose lightly.

“I mean, I do provide you with half of the drama in your life.”You giggled, kissing him gently. “Where does the other half come from?”He asked. You shrugged, sighing. “Probably you.”You answered. “I cant believe you’d say that to me! You know im at a bad place in life and you put me in this terrible situation when you know that!”He fake cried, bursting into laughter.

“Kourtney dont laugh at me!”You exclaimed. You felt a vibration under your feet, hearing a loud, dramatic sigh and the sound of skin colliding. They had successfully moved the file cabinet, the door closing as their loud footsteps hit the floor as they entered your mother’s room again. Rafe took a moment to look around, sometimes forgetting that the room even existed.

It was the biggest room in the house, the ceiling going up at least twenty feet with only glass separating the room from the outside world. His mind wandered, thinking of all the fun nights the two of you could have in here watching the stars or listening to the rain.

The bed was large and still, the blankets and sheets unwrinkled and untouched. He understood why you were creeped out by the house now, feeling like he didnt belong in the room. You all took turns trying to figure out what the writing said, eventually deciding that it probably wasnt even in english. “Should we put it through google translate?”Rafe asked, staring at the paper.

Kelce shook his head. “Nah, its not reliable. I tried using it for spanish class in freshman year and I got detention.”He replied. “Well thats definitely not spanish. Maybe its like…. Ancient text.”Topper suggested, causing you to frown. “I highly doubt that my mother would know an ancient text.

Maybe we should just leave it.”You answered. Although you werent exactly satisfied with it you just didnt feel like spending your time trying to decode a random paper. They didnt seem satisfied either but didnt want to push you, putting the paper down on the desk where it would be safe from your footsteps.

Of course the boys just couldnt stay at the same place for long periods of time, deciding to suggest that you guys go out to a store to get some paint for the boring walls. You agreed, the four of you getting into your car instead of Rafe’s truck, locking all the doors and windows before you left.

Kelce didnt suggest a McDonalds run which caused you to frown, knowing that he was probably too stressed to want to eat. You guys went into Walmart with one goal, heading right for the paint section and looking at the wall of colors. “Lets get four colors and kind of just make it up as we go.”Kelce muttered, looking at all the different shades.

“We could all pick one out.”Topper suggested, reaching forward and picking a bright green. You agreed, picking a shade of light purple, watching as Kelce picked the color toffee biscuits and Rafe went for cotton blue. You doubted any of the colors would actually look good together but that wasnt the point of the project.

It was more about making the room look fun rather than nice. Kelce grabbed a few large paint brushes, the four of you leaving before you could get distracted by anything that you didnt need. Topper decided to get right to work, spilling some paint on the floor as he dragged the brush along the wall, creating bright stripes.

“I have an artistic vision! Trust the process!”He exclaimed, feeling your judgemental eyes on him. You didnt say anything, watching Kelce struggle to connect his phone to your speaker, playing the first song on his playlist.

Line without a hook. Topper looked over at you, almost like he was silently asking you if you had told the boys about his top secret playlist. You shrugged, not wanting to give anything away to the others.

“Oh my god, I love this song.”Rafe dunked his brush in the light blue, making a smiley face on the wall. “Can I paint an onion?”He asked. You raised your eyebrows, not understanding why he wanted to put an onion on the wall.

“Ogres are like onions! We have layers!”Kelce laughed. “Who is we? Are you an ogre, Kelce?”Topper asked, not taking his eyes off of the bright stripes, painting a circle on the top. “Topper Harry Katherine Thornton, are you painting a penis on my wall?”You asked, connecting the dots.

He grinned, ignoring you. “Of course not.”He replied, painting frantically so that you couldnt stop him, green drops rolling down the wall. You picked up your paint brush, painting two circles quicklly before pushing the brush into the center of each, laughing to yourself.

“Guys, really?”Rafe asked. “Cant we make the wall wholesome?”He asked. You shook your head, a smile on your face. “Says you of all people, Rafe.”You shook your head. “She got you there.”Topper replied, dragging the brush across the painting and blending it out so there was no longer a penis on your wall.

“What are you doing now?”You asked, wanting to one up him. “What are you doing now?” He mocked you. Somehow you ended up splashing Topper with paint and getting tackled into the mattress as he held the paintbrush over you, trying to get the bright green liquid on your face while you held his arm back.

“Im gonna murder you!”You laughed, rolling over under him so your face was against the mattress. “Im gonna paint your hair!”He laughed, holding the brush just above it. “Topper, dont mess with her hair.”Kelce took the brush away.

Topper groaned, falling next to you on the mattress. His eyes were closed, the sun from the window casting a beautiful glow over his face, a small smile tugging at the side of his mouth. You pressed a kiss to his cheekbone, your arm resting on his torso.

It didnt take long for painting to be forgotten, a few cheap bristles sticking to the wall with messes of colorful lines and unfilled shapes. The song changed, followed by a loud gasp from Rafe. “This is my favorite song!”He smiled, hitting his knees with his fists repeatedly.

He didnt know what about it made him so happy, whenever he heard it it reminded him of you guys. “You know what we should do?”Topper asked. “No.”Kelce replied while Rafe rewinded the song to listen to his favorite part again.

“We should make soup. Like, spicy soup with potatoes.”He replied, mouth watering. “We could just order soup.”Kelce replied, not in the mood to go downstairs and hunt for ingredients. “Order soup from where?”Topper asked. Kelce simply shrugged, shifting around and putting his arms under his body.

That had been a week ago. Since then a lot had happened. You guys had developed a system, Kelce could do his laundry on Saturdays, Rafe on Mondays and Topper’s just got mixed in with yours.

It was a love and hate relationship to have them there with you. You didnt regret your decision but sometimes things would get difficult. Grocery shopping was the worst since nobody could decide what they wanted and you had all agreed not to eat out as much.

“We need an actual meal, we cant just eat chips for everything.”Topper would grumble, realising he didnt even really know how to cook. That just lead to late flights of searching for recipes o pinterest and watching Gordon Ramsey tiktoks until they decided to try and make bake and shake chicken. That didnt really work out well, having to open all of your windows and get the smoke out of your house.

Then you guys decided to take a new approach, finding a ton of frozen pizzas and ingredients for sushi. Kelce was the only one who had any idea of what he was doing since he had always been talented in the kitchen, specifically with breakfast. That became more of a safe meal for you guys, making extra food in the morning to eat later for dinner until you got sick of toast, eggs and bacon.

Kelce ended up banishing you all to the pool so that he could decorate properly, vines hanging from the door ways and landscape tapestries hanging in your living room, hallway and your mother’s old bedroom. “How long do you think he’s gonna be?”You asked, floating on your back in the shallow end, letting out a yelp when Topper grabbed you and dragged you to the deep end.

“I dont know, probably like three days.”He replied, finally letting go once you were in the middle of the pool. “We could survive three days in the pool.”You replied, watching Rafe shake his head. “With my allergy to the sun?”He asked, making you turn over, going underwater for a moment. “You dont even sunburn.”You told him, splashing water in his direction before swimming away quickly so that he couldnt get back at you.

Kelce kept getting calls from his parents that were asking him to come home but he never did. They knew where he was, if they wanted him back so badly they’d drive over and take him away. “Guys, i’ve finished my creation.”Kelce announced, coming outside. “So we can come in now?”Topper asked, gripping the ledge of the pool and pulling himself out, falling onto his stomach as he struggled to get up.

“Yes, you can come in now! Hurry!”Kelce yelled excitedly before going back inside, waiting impatiently for you guys to hurry. Rafe helped you out of the pool, tossing you your towel so that you wouldnt trail water through your house. “Guys! Come on!”Kelce shouted again, the three of you walking across the hot pavement quickly.

“I’ll clean up the water after- just come see what I did!”He said again. You rolled your eyes, walking into the house. Goosebumps formed on y0our skin from the cool air, eyes widening as you looked at the kitchen. He had bought a plaid tablecloth for the table, vines hanging from the ceiling and doorways, a tie dye tapestry hanging in your living room. It looked like he had taken the time to wipe down every surface and vacuum any mess of broken spaghetti or eggshells that had been kicked under the fridge.

“Do you like it?”He asked, unable to read your shocked expression. “Kelce, im gonna be honest with you. I feel like im in pixie hollow right now.”You grinned, making him smile. “I think thats a good thing- but upstairs is better!’He exclaimed before making his way up the stairs. He was right.

There were marble heart shaped tiles hanging on the walls of the hall, a sign on the new hangout spot that was made out of drift wood. He opened the door, revealing bean bag chairs on the floor, a new carpet, a light yellow canopy hanging over the bed that had all new sheets and blankets on it as well.

He had even somehow managed to fix the paint on the wall so that there were different colored polka dots all over it. The boys seemed equally impressed, still taking it in. You hugged Kelce, not even caring that you’d get his clothes wet. “So I did good?” He asked, hugging you back. “You always do good.”You replied, feeling him hug you tighter.

“So you’re happy?”He asked, letting out a small sigh when you nodded. “I am happy, Kelce.”you replied, kissing him lightly. He smiled against you, taking in a deep breath. “I found a new recipe for fancy grilled cheese.”He told you, kissing your forehead. This was something that you loved about having them live with you.

@sweetlittlegingy @nicolefarley603 @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @newsies-yeet @butgilinsky @jjjmaybank @gracelovesbroadway @one-stella @spn-marvel-nerd @lovelyelinor @chinamolina602 @sexytholland @28cnn @popcrone818 @fttayla @cherryobx @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @drewstarkeyobx @poguestyleskye @judayyyw @jjtheangel @jj-iz-bae@sunwardsss @meaganjm @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @natalie-kate-98 @nxsmss @broken-jj @joshy-obx @classygirlything @annmariek8 @stupidpendeja @killjoyybsinner @pink-meringues @outerbongs @copper-boom @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @simonsbluee @deionswannabegirl @jiaraendgame @khiaraaa-in-spacee @on-socks-off @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @dmonchld@annmariek8 @harryswigss @ibookofstars @lostaurorax @cheshirecat107

#topper x reader #topper thorton x reader #topper thorton imagine #topper thorton smut #topper thornton fluff #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron headcanon #kelce smith #kelce imagine #kelce x reader #kelce outer banks #the best boys

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limelocked · 3 years

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this is just a thing I've been thinking about for a while, when it comes to the minors on the server.... are they actually minors?

time on the smp is weird, right? like the exile arc may have only been a week, but it was supposed to represent a few weeks iirc. wilburs character was like... in his early 40s? I believe? by the end of the first revolution? which makes sense given that fundy is an adult at the end of it.

so it'd make sense for the "minors" to not? actually be minors?

the age thing is nebulous at best, given that the ccs don't really talk about it and if they do no one pays attention it seems. I mean, ranboo was asked if he thought whether or not his character was the same age as him and ranboo was like "I dunno."

so like.... the fact that people blur the cc with their character is just so... it happens so much even with just the age thing and it's frustrating to me, even just those small details. like, please learn how to separate the actor from the character. you don't say that like.... I dunno I don't watch movies.... uuuh you don't say that Tom Huddleston (?) is loke and condons all of loke's actions right? you dont act like they're the same age right? so why can't you do the same for the dreamsmp???

i usually run with the assumption that theyre their real life ages cuz most of the dsmp ranges in like 17-22 for ages and then i Close My Eyes about wilburs whole Thing cuz i dont trust ttsbur to hold even a spoon correctly

17-22 should really not like matter in age difference that much in terms of how you act towards your fellow living creatures, 5 years isnt that much all things considered and while yes they may not even be kids since its never talked about it should also not matter, the only reason we have to have this conversation over and over again is because fandom treats the minors (but tommy and tubbo most often) like they’re way younger than they are, all of them are legal to drive in some us states for goodness sake and every character is well over the age of criminal responsibility, they should know better and we as a collective should act on that knowledge

#dsmp #stop treating clingy duo like theyre 12 please #this went off topic but like it all leads back to basically fandom babying the minors #tinydemondragon

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wherearemyglassesbro · 3 years

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ooh ooh!! can you do more characters in your genshin au?

Yeah!! ;-; I’m surprised y’all like it alsjalsksk thank you for humoring me :)

Sadik: Pyro, polearm, *

Yells a lot in his voice lines and despite having a whole polearm, he still uses his hands in combat as well. He switches attacks from a good ol polearm whack to a full on sucker punch. Such a variety

Sadik is the best chef at the finest restaurant in the Pyro region of Natlan

He runs the kitchen with an iron fist, nearly making his chefs cry cause he’s like...A muscular Gordon Ramsay. But he will soften up if he actually sees tears

Because of this discipline, his restraunt has 7 stars...When 5 is usually the best of the best. The food there is above and beyond! And only the richest can really go because it’s $5,000 for one serving of spiced chili slime secretions...it tastes better than it sounds

He has full sleeves of tattoos on both arms which show ingredients, dishes and scenery from all of the regions he studied in. His ink pretty much tells his life story so far. Once he runs out of room on his arms he’ll move on to his back

He does interviews for the newspaper and the reporters are like ‘how do you cook so well?’ And he looks at them and goes ‘I don’t burn it’ wow fantastic insight

He isn’t really into combat but he’s a playable character anyway! We have a (soon to be) playable nun so anything is possible

Abel: Pyro, claymore, *

Another hard hitting character who tends to be on the slow side cause of his weapon but his power move would inflict a lot of damage

Abel is a pro bounty hunter, hired by all kinds of people from the varying regions of Teyvat. He gets paid a lot but his line of work is scaryyyy he takes on like 3 ruin guards at once sometimes. His skin is littered with scars from hilichurl claws, burns and stab wounds. He doesn’t care. He looks super cool

His cabin is tucked away and it’s location is unknown to the general public. Only his brother and sister know but they aren’t allowed to go unless it’s an emergency. Whenever he meets them it has to happen at night within the walls of a city. He doesn’t want criminals or monsters finding out he has siblings

He has a map of each region tattooed somewhere on his hand or arm instead of using a paper map. Fire powers and paper dont go well together

Lilli: Geo, catalyst, Springvale Mondstat

She’s a healer and her attacks consist of meteors flying out of the sky and hitting enemies! Best used when enemies are not right up in her face cause she literally can’t do hand to hand combat at all so that’s her only drawback

She’s still a kid but her brother trains her to be the best she can be! Vash is visionless but he expected to get a Geo vision. He didn’t, his sister did. So he’s helping her get stronger and learn about her power. She is so grateful for him :’)

She goes to school as she should and does all of her work and on her days off, she practices out in the fields with her brother. Vash throws rocks at her and she uses her powers to stop them in midair and hurl them back in his direction. She’d never ever hurt him and if she did she’d literally stop using her vison forever

Her idle voice lines are mostly about her brother or getting home before sundown “Hm...I wonder what my brother is doing right now” “The sun is setting! We better get moving” “Ah...The breeze feels nice tonight...” “Let’s get moving! There’s so much to see out here!”

If she dies from fall damage or something her ‘death’ voice line is “Big brother...Please...Dont forget me...” OUCH

Raj: Geo, longsword, his ship

Super fast and attacks jump from one enemy to the other super quick!! Downside is that it’s hard to focus on one enemy if there’s multiple around you cause his attacks go from enemy to enemy

Raj is the captain and owner of a huge cargo ship. He has a crew of 40 strong fighters, all with visions. He carries cargo back and forth from Liyue to Snezhnaya and Inazuma. He carries minerals, food supplies, textiles, anything that pays well!

His sword looks super old and that’s cause it is! It belonged to his great grandfather and has been passed down allllll the way to him! He wields it proudly even though it needs a bit of fixing up here and there every other month

To pass the time while traveling by sea, he plays his flute and his crew sings songs! It warms his heart to see everyone get along

You could hold up any rock and he’d tell you what it is. He has studied up on everything he sells and I mean...He is a Geo vision holder so he takes rock knowledge seriously

Xiao-Mei: Dendro, archer, Liyue

Fast attacks that will knock enemies over for a few seconds, giving you time to run up to them and land a blow while they’re down

Xiao-Mei is a jewelry maker! She and her mother run a small shop under the docks of Liyue harbor. The placement of the shop is actually beneficial cause as ships dock, the crew will hurry in to buy something for their lovers before seeing them on the streets above! Very slick :)

Xiao-Mei works did metal and makes her own beads for her pieces. She incorporates a lot of shapes or colors from natire, often inspired by flowers like glaze lillies :)

She wears tons of necklaces, rings and bracelets at all times!! If someone likes something she’s wearing, she’ll sell it to them!

Antonio: Hydro, longsword, *

Attacks tend to focus on one enemy at a time and isn’t good for multitasking... Groups of hilichurls are his weakness but he’ll excel during big boss fights since it’s just one to focus attacks on!!

He has really flirty voice lines though jeez sir calm down...

Toni is an entertainer!! A sword fighting entertainer! People place bets on him and his opponent and it’s exhilarating work! Is it legal? Maybe! Maybe not! Everything is technically legal in the woods right?

He flirts with the ladies in the crowd and thinks he’s so slick but his pick up lines are just the worst “I’ve got a hydro vison :) I can make you...hehe...wet” STOP-

He tends to stay within the borders of the hydro region(Fontaine(?)) but will venture to other regions if his ‘career’ requires it!

He isn’t the smartest so he has a lot of moments where you’re like ‘wow...theres not a thought behind those pretty green eyes’ so...I mean he’s kinda a comic relief :)

Michelle: Hydro, catalyst, Raj’s ship

One of her power move things is a water shield!! She can shoot through it but things can’t hit her for like 30 seconds! Then the shield can be deployed again and can be used on other characters on your team

Michelle fishes and cooks for Raj and his crew! She was picked up off a beach, lost and disoriented. She’s made a family out of the ship crew and thinks of Raj as an older brother :)

She is a very talented chef but always makes more than needed so they have a lot of leftovers :0

She buys something from Xiao-Mei’s every time they dock in Liyue :)

#genshintalia au #in order:......#aph turkey #aph Netherlands #aph liechtenstein #aph india #aph taiwan #aph spain #aph seychelles #aph #hetalia #ask away!#headcanons #hetalia headcanons #asks #always up for hc requests

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beliefbeautyizwithin · 4 years

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Are you okay with the fact of people excusing Beths shooting of Rio ? What is going on here ? What am I missing? I was watching this show with my friend and we WERE ALL rooting for her until we saw that crap. Then my mind changed to I hope she gets caught , I hope she gets locked up. Then all these blogs with Beth Avitars OFCOURSE, claiming the idea that she HAD to do it ? While saying how can people blame Beth with out blaming Rio? She pulled the damn trigger. Ugh I hate that !

So firstly, I'm not the person who answers anon questions. I feel their are more "qualified " bloggers on here for that. Plus sis got thannngs to do, okurrrr ....With that said I so appreciate u trusting me with this question anon.

To simply put this : people live in their own heads when it comes to this show. You will find those who infactically see themselves in Beth, or in some of the other women on this show. They feel like they can relate to them on some levels. Then there are those who love Rio for his sexual presence , the way he plays Rio as MORE than just a "gang friend and ofcourse his chemistry with Beth( myself included)... I 👏🏽get it !

But what I dont like is the politics used on this platform. The categorization clause : The idea that you must be either for Beth, Rio, or Beth and the girls when it comes down to what happened in the S2 finale. It's like I must check what party line I'm on or who am I FOR or against. When for me its as simple as who's right and who's wrong in the situation. There can be grey lines but in this particular situation, Beth was DEAD AZZ WRONG.

Let me explain: I watched this show like EVERYONE else , got my friends in on the show too. LOVED the dynamic of the women, their interaction with each other and I genuinely liked Beth's character. You could tell she was the leader of the group. To me shes that type of friend that always has a solution to your problems........ I was rooting for Her ( check the history of my posts). I Was happy seeing the girls work with Rio getting their own. PLUS Beth's relationship with Rio.

Now to Rio and Beth's relationship :

I never looked at their relationship as toxic per se given the context of the show and what these women were involved in. The women are wannabe criminals who willingly get involved with a gang member. Beth most of all( bc as I said shes the leader of her pack). RIO although he is assumed to be this dangerous criminal hes really soft on Beth. Speak to any GUY about this show and I promise you the first thing their gonna say is Rio should have killed Beth and the girls ( given their involvement in his business). They were liabilities..But some where through these episodes Rio fell in love : Yup I said it !!!!🥴

I believe when a man truly loves a woman he shows them through action. The things Rio did for Beth ( bc he mainly delt with Beth) you dont do that for someone you dont love. Im talking about despite these women helping him wash his cash. Theres a point in Season 1 where he TELLS Beth shes nothing but a charity case to him. Meaning he never needed them, he never needed HER.

Things Rio did out of his gang character :

1. BETH refusing to take care of her rotten egg; total liability to Rios business.

2. Beth snitching on Rio to the FEDS. Instead of Rio just shooting Dean , he had EVERY right to shoot / kill Beth too. But he never wants to hurt Beth so he settles with shooting her husband:" Now were good".

3. Finding out Boomer who was talking to the feds about Rio and his gang had something to do with Beth and the girls. He should of kill Beth and the girls. But instead he gave THEM the opportunity to take care of it.

4. Beth and the girls failing to take care of Boomer , which snowballed into an even bigger problem.

5. Rios money becoming compromise bc of Beth and the girls failing to listen or do anything right.

6. Beth going into the drug house for a DAMN dubby and Rio seeing how much it meant to her then going back to collect it.

7. GAVE Beth the keys to the kingdom. Now let me explain this..... people think he took it back. But after the bathroom break I believe in Rios head the sex solidified Beth( A woman he could see does not believe in one night stands and has only been with her husband sexually) was finally his ; "were partners now". Hence why he went ballistic in Boland Motors after he saw Beth going to Dean....Not to mention Beth realized the money and EVERYTHING was always in her possession. That was his woman yall. But ofcourse as women we always get hung up with the man actually SAYING it. Defining the relationship was unnecessary, given his actions.

8. The pill business. He gave Beth 50% (something he does with NOBODY else ; remember him saying he usually pays 30%) . Rio could have said no and killed her ( sorry guys but in EVERY scenario it was in Rios BEST interest to kill Beth).

8. Beth has passionate love making with Rio then kicks him out. TO go back to DEAN ,,okurr . So what does Rio do : send her pieces of the body hes been HOLDING for HER the entire time. Bc ofcourse it cant be that easy to first of all get out of a life of crime period. BUT he wasn't going to let go of Beth that easily. Beth gets the body back to do something as silly as burying the body in HER BACKYARD..How dumb!!

Rio has done nothing deliberately to compromise Beth's freedom . BUT he has forced Beth to be accountable of her actions.

So with all this information : Beth tries to send Rio away forever ! Knowing his fear of getting locked up that he disclosed to her during the shut down episode. Knowing he has a kid to take care of; as you can see now RHEA doesnt make enough cash to support Marcus, at least not like Rio can. Then tries to KILL the man ! In closing I dont CARE what floppy azz explanation people want to give about Beth shooting Rio. Her azz was W.R.O.N.G. she was messed up for that. That move changed my mind completely towards her . At this point she DESERVES Dean ugly lying azz. I hope they DO get caught and go to jail so she sees how it feels. l respected Beth but I lost respect after he snazzy azz smile when she said "Rio is gone"

Therefore anyone rally for Beth just because shes a woman and you stan Christina Hendricks. Let's get back to the context of the show and ask yourself: WHAT the hell HAS ShE ever done FOR RIO ? That wasn't to save her own behind. I'm gonna keep it 100% anon I didnt know who the hell Manny was or Christina was until this show. So this is not from a STAN prespective. This is from a real azz honest perspective. Hopefully this makes u understand how I feel.

#beth x rio #brio #nbc good girls #beth boland #gg spoilers

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creemedicooke-blog · 5 years

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me/beliefs

I’m a 14 year old centrist/right wing, and these are what I’m for and against. (No offense to anyone else/my values do not hurt anyone)

ANTI MAP/NOMAP/PROMAP If you have the desire to touch kids, your time would be better spent touching the cold inside of a jail cell. All pedophelic relationships are abusive even if the person claims to be a “nomap.”

Anti tucute and transtrenders Mental illness is never something to ignore so you can have an “aesthetic.” You invalidate trans people who have struggled, and you are inherently sexist by further instilling that male and female is just a “culture” rather than the safety you feel in your body.

I am transmed Meaning I believe gender dysphoria is something in the brain, which can lead to a longterm feeling of discomfort in your body. I completely support those who want to help themselves and will back any trans person looking for surgery. The choice is theirs to make. Even though transmed technically implies surgery is needed, I will respect the persons pronouns even before they get surgery as long as they are considering it. Because I know three issues off the top of my head: it could be unsafe at their age, it could be unsafe due to familial reasons (transphobic parents), or they could want to consider it for years to make sure they don’t back track. There are also more reasons so of course no matter how long it takes, I will chose to use the pronouns they want.

I only believe in two genders. However, I accept those who do not wish to disclose their gender. I mean, it’s your private parts. Of course I won’t force you to talk about them and I hope you live the happiest life. I also totally understand those who wish to go by they/them, just ask me so I know to not misgender you.

I’m not a trump supporter

If I don’t know too much about a subject, I won’t talk about it but I am curious to learn someday. (This is why I won’t say I am or am not a Hillary fan. I actually never got to learn much about her therefore idk)

I do not like illegal immigration but DEPORTATION IS FUCKING ATROCIOUS. Here is the simplist way to explain why I don’t like illegal immigration: Imagine you work hard, and someone else slacks off and recieves a promotion. That's infuriating. But I now stretch this to a larger point, you work hard to make money to leave your country and go through the entire legal system tediously. Then another guy sneaks into the same new country doing zero of that work. Do I think the illegal immigrant should be punished though? Heavens no. Absolutely not. They could have been escaping poverty or war, drought or famine, a harsh family life, anything. And they could be an amazing person. I just think the legal way to immigrate should be made more open and friendly for people in rougher countries. I have nothing against the illegal immigrants themselves.

Anti terf An mtf who has gender dysphoria, a serious condition, is curing herself. Not robbing your three year old daughter’s tea set. Chill tf out, Sharon. And an ftm who has gender dysphoria, a serious condition, is curing himself, not writing “women have cooties” on your feminist pride parade sign and then ninja'ing into a male, Terri

“Radical” is the scariest word to hear before anything involving politics. I’m sick of “radical ___.” I believe compromising is much safer and a healthier viewpoint to live by than extremism of either side. This mindset shoukd stem from childhood with things like "sharing is caring."

Guns and clothing depicting real guns should not be allowed in schools, period. The gun part is a “no shit” moment, but if I could change the school dress code, I would add this rule and get rid of the truly bs “no crocs” rule.

I’m pro choice

I want to better the foster care/adoption system

Anti-anti vaxxers That kid’s life has been given to you and it asks for protection, not to model your ill-thought-out agenda.

Anti incels

Companies should be regulated to reduce pollution, and they should contribute to a greener earth.

If a company distributes paper or glass to an area, that same company must be willing to pay the price to make it recyclable at their plant. Otherwise, it cannot be in that area. This practice will be repeated until eco friendly companies begin popping up all around us.

In a perfect world, an opinion’s value is based on how well informed the person is of that opinion. Not on race, class, religion, gender, or orientation.

Bi/pan are the same, and if you prefer the term “pan” because of the spelling or flag, then alright. But like again, meaning wise, they are the same and the only difference is superficial.

I’m all for body positivity that supports people who have lost limbs, burn scars, or are recovering from an unhealthy lifestyle like anorexia, bulimia, or obesity. Body positive does not equal “oh you look beautiful killing yourself” so I personally would never congratulate someone for cutting themself, or severely under or over eating. I will offer help until they tell me they want to end it like this, in which case I wont force you to do something you don’t want me to.

Abusers should serve for half or more of their life! All if it lead to fucking suicide. Domestic, child, animal, relationship. Abuse is disgusting from mental to physical. Go ahead and block me if you believe abuse is not an issue.

Rape is one of the worst crimes in humanity. It can happen to anyone.

The three crimes I hate the most are MURDER, RAPE, and FALSE RAPE ACCUSATION. the first two are obvious, but the third one is up there for a good reason. False accusation means "fake." You are lying to fuck up somebody's life on purpose. A rape claim can damage somebody throughout their entire life and that's not even the end of the problem with it. You invalidate true rape claims. You think rape is such a sweet little subject that's so "fun" to toy with. And you know what? Fuck you with all of these murderers and rapists and abusers.

Though I am not anti-gun, more control is needed. For example, training, liscenses, harsher punishments to those who obtain a gun by illegal means, and a gun should not be carried outside of your household unless you have a specific reason for that too. Like a farmer, police dude, or hunter

Do not slut shame prostitutes.

Making prostitution illegal only makes it harder for these people to seek help and get other jobs. It does not end prostitution.

Marijuana is not a criminal offence, quit locking people up for it.

Tax is not that hard to write on the damn price tag. Please mark it as $5.12 if it really isn’t $4.99

Gender dysphoria is a valid health issue so trans people should still (and always) be supported in the military.

There should be more sidewalks. And bridges that go over roads with ramps for people in wheelchairs or strollers, this is to reduce car emissions from the car needing to stop, and even better, it reduces the chance of a young child being hit at a crosswalk. Getting around by foot will be so much easier.

These are the most important things to teach in school

-how to prevent stds

-mental health

-why vaccines are safe

-how to get a job

-how to take care of your home and life after you're 18

-the core subjects

-civil rights movement in full detail so the newer generations are impacted by the struggle and where we are now in america

-secondary language

-world cultures

(This is just what i can think of off the top of my head)

You dont have to block me if you disagree. Infact, im open to anyone who wants to be friends. I dont care if we're different politically because thats not the first thing i see abour people. If you want to debate with me then lets do it. Also if you have questions, hmu. :)

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hereliesbitches--me · 5 years

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The Writeup on Rosie's parents:

I dont think anyone actually knows it, and it's probably the faintest quality that could he given away in Rosie's hair, but she is in fact a Hispanic gal. Rosie was born in Miami, Florida in March of 1983, to a Puerto Rican mother and her father can be assumed to be of Italian descent given his last name, though he is not very culturally inclined at all.

Carmellia Hidalgo was a young woman at 22 when she had Rosie, and Roland Valentine had been in his later years at 28 years old. They were a couple definitely formed out of puppy love a few years prior: Roland admired the life and free spirit in Carmellia, and Carmellia was very easily swayed by Roland's gentleman charm and mannerism. Given that this is the 80s, a time where being Hispanic wasnt exactly welcomed (even if Puerto Rico is considered a US territory), it was a breath of fresh air to Carmellia to be respected, and she fell hard. Unfortunately, shortly after Rosie was born, with rising stress trying to manage a baby and their own life goals, tension grows when love fades as those endearing qualities of free spirit become an unwillinhness to compromise and make change. Roland was more of a reserved, traditional man. He wanted to help Carmella in her situation, encouraged her to go to college and he helped pay for it as she worked towards becoming a nurse while he himself was working towards becoming a politician, but he was not blind to her impulsive and irrational behavior. Roland wanted to try to correct his wife, and in retaliation Carmellia was notorious to defensive and aggressive behavior. This would be the source of many of their fights, with Carmellia being the violent one throwing objects and jabbing at Roland for trying to deem her as something unwell, or something lesser than him (as she interpreted it).

In reflection, Rosie inherited her Bipolar disorder from her mother. And just like her mother, they are undiagnosed.

The difference lies in the time period as well. The condition was not well understood in the 70s-80s time period. It was briefly understood but just like all mental illnesses its stigmatized. Carmellia knew something was off, but she was in denial. There was too much to be done to stop and try to get an illness treated, and being a minority already made it hard enough. When Rosie was 5 years old, frightened by another one of their violent fights , she tried to run away to get away from the sounds, and wound up getting hit by a car that had killed her (in which, at this point, is where the Moon spirit steps into the body and takes on her life ) but she miraculously revives with some major head trauma and memory problems.

This fight was the breaker, when Roland realize it was a danger to their daughter. He left within a few months of this incident, for the sake of stopping the fighting, but despite his insistence Carmellia refused to let him take Rosie with him. While he had a better standing and mental state, he rather not make little Rosita suffer by confusing her with their fight. He yields to Carmellia, and he remained in Florida for a few months, until eventually leaving to DC to pursue his career as a politician when Carmellia continued to refuse to let him see Rosie. He sent money down to support them, but he would not see his daughter for 5 years. Rosie could hardly remember him since he left. Roland never stopped loving Carmellia, even if she couldn't stand him , but he couldnt handle her anymore.

Life with Carmellia was difficult for both Rosie and her mother. She was a single mother, becoming a nurse in this big city, and trying to manage bouts of mania and depression. an Impulsive move 2 years (1990) later winds Carmellia up in a situation with an unfaithful, abusive lover, who will eventually be the father to Rosie’s younger brother, Alexander. He leaves them when Alexander was about a few months old, with Carmellia forcing him out of their lives after he threatened them for the last time. what was already a tight situation only worsened with a baby involved. Rosie hardly ever really saw her mother, but she was taught early how to take care of herself with what they had. She never questioned anything that happened, why she was always the one taking the brunt of everything -- Her mother's impulsive verbal lashing and tendency to break things in anger, Rosie being the oldest was held at a higher standard of expectations. It was just how things were, while her mother doted on the baby Alexander with the time she had. Rosie had even learned how take care of her brother so her mom could rest in those very rare occasions she wasnt working.

While Carmellia was not an intentionally bad mother, but she was mentally ill and would not admit it. She loved her children, but was possessive with her fear of being alone, to the point of suffocation. Too prideful to admit she needed help, her children often suffered with her, and this was Rosie's life until August of 1992.

August 26, 1992, Hurricane Andrew makes landfall in Florida, and in a matter of hours Miami is flattened and ripped apart by a category 5 hurricane. In its wake, millions were left homeless, which would have included Carmellia and her two kids. Living in a shelter, Carmellia was left struggling with aiding in medical care because she was a nurse, and keeping track of her little ones. Elsewhere, an opportunity presented itself, and Roland took it as a chance to get his daughter back. Leaving from DC to Florida to help with the relief efforts, Roland tracked down Carmellia and the family at long last in a crowded shelter. Much to Carmellia's fury and horror, Roland did not shy away from telling her what he came for. The man who was a better suited caretaker, with more to offer for the safety of Rosie and her future, and he was there to take Rosie from her. To say there was no battle was an understatement. Carmellia could scream, she could curse him, she could get angry, but in the end she knew she had no standing even if they had gone from a legal standpoint. She had no home, no safe environment but the ruins of a shattered life, and no one would ever take her side against a wealthy man. She tried to scold Rosie into staying with her, when Roland made the option to let Rosie decide, but in the end that fearful little girl saw the opportunity to escape, and she turned her back on her mother for the first time. The first time she ever ran away, and in retrospect it feels like Rosie never stopped running since that time. Shes learned to always run.

Now, life with Roland wasnt as rough as with her mother.. but it wasnt the perfect childhood either. Roland had wealth and prestige being a skillful politician and a man of the people, but that didnt mean he was prepared to really be a dedicated parent.

Roland had lived a generally independent life. He didnt bother with remarrying, he didnt have much family he was connected to, he had workers who cared for the house, and he was dedicated to the work for the common people and working on issues which affected the lower class, minorities especially. He even delved into dealing with the criminal underworld, though that was only known to him. Having Rosie with him was more for the sake of having the peace of mind that she was with him, and he was providing, even I'd he wasnt always actively there. He had control of the situation, and that was enough. He kept her occupied by buying her whatever she wanted to entertain her, to make her feel like he did care and he loved her in order to make up for his lack of presence. Nonetheless, even having his daughter there, he continued to work in the same fashion he did before. Rosie was left in the trusted care of the head house keeper, Alfred, who himself was an age old friend/Mentor for Roland. Rosie saw him like a grandfather, and one of the most constant people in her life. The most she saw of her father were in the morning they shared over breakfast, listening to old vinyl records and dancing around the kitchen. She saw him sometimes in the evening briefly before bed, and that was it for the most part. She had simple expectations: to do well in school, to behave herself, to act with dignity of someone with high status because she was representing him as his daughter. She would have to learn to act proper as a lady from upper class, learn the ways of diplomacy and the two faced ways of politics. She couldn't truly be herself if she wanted to get somewhere with people, that was one of the first life lessons she picked up from her father. It would be one of the stepping stones which shapes her personality today, and even a basis of the creation of alternate personalities. A traditional man as her father was, he thought Rosie like his delicate daughter, and believed as a lady she shouldn't work in anything too laborious. Just like himself, he wanted her to take up in politics, or become a lawyer if she wanted to deal with law. His views often annoyed her, but she was never one to argue, and simply did what was asked of her, up until she grew older. She wanted to make a difference, she wanted to show that she wasnt delicate, and with some help of Alfred she was able to convince her father to let her do more-- which would set the stage of being put in the Calvary, with the help of Clifton, a friend of her father's. This would be the next stepping stone of her life after her father was found dead, ruled as a suicide and unsolved because they could not find any evidence that would say otherwise. Within rosie resided bitter feelings when she knew foul play was involved, but like always, no one ever listened. Once more, shes shuffled forward onto the next person.

The life Rosie shared with both her parents was always somewhat negligent, though it was not out of pure Malice. They gave her what she needed, but they both had a hand in controlling the way she went. Her father more so than her mother, given she lived with him from age 9 to 15. Both believing they knew what was best for her, her father consistently offering her to the world for all sorts of opportunities, but it was not always what Rosie herself wanted. Nothing was ever constant, and she was constantly handed off to the next person in line to deal with her. The relationship between Carmellia and Roland was never a healthy one, and that alone would be one of the major flaws Rosie had to discover on her own. How to love, who to love, how to be a parent. Love would hurt, it would break you down in the worst possible ways, it could make you Elated, or it wouldnt always last. Her parents taught simply how to survive enough in the world, her father taught her how to be superficial, but sincere relationships? How to be a good parent?

That was all trial and error she had to learn one step at a time. And it burned her, more often than not. One thing she learned what she had to do everything for her children that her parents didnt do for her, but much to her own horror, the older she gets the more she realizes it just played as a cycle. She could be like the both of them. As much as she tries to fight it, the older she was, the more she understands why things happen the way they do.

The condition of her mother is one of the biggest reasons Rosie prefers a partner that would need her. It attracts her to the troubled and the lonely, and urges her to make things better. To help them in a way no one helped her or her mother

Because deep down, a part of her feels things could have been different if someone could have just stayed. Her resilience to a lost cause may be the thing that gets Rosie killed one day, or even draws her into unhealthy relationships no matter how it hurts her.

#:about the muse:#working out a timeline at long last #someone let me know if something needs to be tagged #:headcanons:#can you see the reference in rosie from her mom #casually using real life events in my bby #crazy childhood stories #long post

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 4 years

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If i had to pick an American Cookie that can be bought in the store today, hands down it would be this one.

Living in New Mexico for 20 years, i rarely see a black person. I can go 785 days without seeing an African American. Because i have.

So, it's shocking to go to Arkansas or even Oklahoma and see large groups of Black People and i stare. I don't forget they exist due to the internet.. But I never see them so it's like visiting Mount Rushmore or the Grand Canyon. Its this natural amazing marvel. And I just stare usually with my jaw dropped like some social retard. Which I'm not typically. And Hey -- I'm not the only New Mexican that does that shit. We simply have a serious minority of African Americans here. I understand places like Mississippi don't think they're a minority. But if i can leave my house every day and not see a African American, then you're a minority. Just as in higher areas of African American Domination, i like to call it, there isn't many Latina or Hispanic or Mexicans as there are here. In Mississippi, they're a minority and here they're all "bitch we rule this shit! We own New Mexico!"

So due to actual minority being true of African Americans (in the 90s i picked it because it was always claimed officially so I just accepted as NYC is a huge vast mix of all kinds of culture. I figured they actually went out and counted them. But i wanted to explain to those whom don't travel and don't experience life in other places in the United States.

So in the 90s the Harringtons and I and as he preferred to be called, Captain Negro, his super hero name. Captain Negro del ela Ponte if you wanted to get legal about it. Decided to pick an "American Cookie" we could easily purchase for Sunday nights. And of course it had to be absolutely perfect.

"Taste Great but Look the Part as Touched by a negros heart and soul" said Captain Negroponte as I called him or Captain Negro Party or Captain Negro Parte especially when i didn't know how to explain something.

I tell you. I've always been smart. Miss Leena always hides and plays dumb and just tells history. But to compare and contrast and make analogies i truly learned from this man whom was my English Compilation Teacher, a True Super Hero.

For the cookie experiment. I talked to Miss Leena but she wouldn't explain. She just gave me the type of cookie and told me I would know what to do.

William Harrington said, "I dont know to me a cookie is just a cookie and my wife makes them great!"

And Willingima. we called her, Harrington, at the (jokingly) threat of our own lives said she did not know either she just had to bake she had said as when quietly embroidered under the table a gift for the Captain Hero's family.

So he came over and we told him and his eyes lit up and he was bouncing around with excitement at the table. "So the cookies are.... But I sure don't know how to explain anything but the chocolate"

"Okay explain me"

I did

"And these are just regular old fashioned chocolate chip, not chocolate on chocolate dough or white chocolate chip?"

"I could ask miss leena but im sure it's the old fashioned."

"Lets call her"

She said that the Chocolate dough (black/dark brown dough) with white chocolate chips would be An African cookie -- for their culture here in America and in actually Africa.

So we were all at the phone all listening in, the phone turned all the way up. Now this is the 90s wall phone no speaker phone ability.

So Captain Negroponte told me back at the table, "so you know the old fashioned. Idk why she wouldn't explain the chocolate on chocolate because of the two different browns. But you know I'll stay out of it. I think i do know the sugar but let me just check. What did she say on the phone to you when she called?"

"Well she called just out of the blue. Asked for Sabrina and i thought she was asleep and so i said she was as she hadn't came down (stairs -- our bedrooms were up and i was just living there For the summer or however long until i had to go back to work into the city i moved out October 9, 1991 due to riots in Brooklyn because i had to go help as i spoke about this last week. Officially moved in July 4th of the same year) and she said and i quote "well just tell sabrina this, that i called and she needs to do a cookie experiment. A white old fashioned cookie of chocolate chip flavor and a sugar cookie. She should know what to do with all of your help" she sounded old and she said her husband wasn't home and she was just resting. So i said "well ill let you go" and she said no and wanted to know all about our enterprise feeding the Street neighborhood kids and asked about money and she said "well Sabrina can help" do you -- do you have money? I sure am tired of eating hot dogs myself. This is getting expensive! I mean for us"

I replied "i do have some... Ill talk to Steve to see what we should do and how much and the best way to go about this"

"No now you seem nervous and she said you have a lot"

"Billions" she said the same time I said "millions"

"And you said some.. You said what? What you got now hon?"

"You said I'm a billionaire and i wouldn't ever lie to anyone but Steve explained to me, hes my lawyer, he said that i needed not to explain how rich i am but if someone needed money I'm to say i only have one million dollars and that is it. And i said "but that is a lie!" And he said "but no it is not not when I'm not allowing you to give out more than thousands without my approval" and i was mad!!! But in the end i saw what Steve said i should see. Its dangerous to advertise how rich i am"

"Bull shit! We probably have the richest girl in the world here sitting at our table and im telling her to penny pinch! Babe! We're having steaks next week! Put that on the list!"

"I'll pay you guys all back!"

"No!" "No!" "No!"

"No. Yes i mean i know you all did it from the goodness of your hearts but you shouldn't suffer. And i didn't realize that you were. I mean i thought you just wanted to eat hot dogs. I didn't know there was any difference"

"Blah!"

"So what I'll do. Because Steve said I'm allowed up to thousands and you're still in hundreds last i checked. $991 for the last three weeks for the entire house budget. So I'll at least double that and give Captain Nero the same. For the time y'all have spent working and then what i meant i would have to talk to Steve is that I would have to design a plan for the future. What he's talked about is supplying a credit card with a limit capable of exceeding the design purchases. So like if you need $900,000 a month then the credit card would allow $1 million. That's what hes explained to me. Then he would supply 12 blank checks for the year then all you would do is call the number on the back of the card once monthly to find out the balance and get the address, write the check and then mail it to the credit card company. Easy as that. He would get the bills to look over to see you're not scamming me. Then he can stop payment on the rest of the checks if you are and cancel the card. That goes for everyone. So for this i think that is what he would pick. It sounds simple. Of course, I don't pay bills or anything like that. Steve always handles it for me. But I'll still have to talk to Steve to get that program under way. And I'll make sure he pays you and you and of course you for past supplies and your time"

So they agreed to the extra payment but wanted to do work free. Mrs Harrington got $15 per day for taking care of me. And still does although she doesn't take care of me anymore, her influence still lives within me and is what made me who I truly am today.

If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't ever asked criminals how they wanted their ending to be. I would have ripped them off the streets and tortured them one by one ripping off pieces of their body while injected with a chemical that made them highly alert and aware of what was happening. For 6 years and 600 days. Them never knowing when it would be the day to lose something they deemed important.

Instead of dungeons and torture chambers, they have a chance at luxury and happiness.

Those asking for death instead have a right to live in peace and make their amends and do as they need. The miserable are killed first to stop their pain and suffering. 72 wanted vacation before. They got that.

If it wasn't for the Harringtons and Captain Negro, never would that occurred.

They saved a wretch like me and in turn, I saved those worst than me. As Jesus would. She taught me all about the belief of Jesus and who they believed he was

Over Captain Harrington's right shoulder was a cross with me looking down or asleep. They eyes were closed. I felt it was the most accurate representation of me. It even had lumps on it's chest. And I always felt so much responsibility. She believed the Unorthodox Jewish ways with a Catholic overcoat. She was non-religious before marriage so she had a mix of views and dabble in all spirits of religion. Also, the occult.

So when her cheeks were pink and her bright blue eyes lit up, and she told me about Jesus. I always prayed to the Lord in Hevaen that I would live up to her expectations.

And often I would look at that cross and feel the thorns cutting into my forehead. "I hope we can do it. Change the world as expected" I would say.

There were times i would take it off the wall "i feel Jesus should watch some T.V., too" i didn't want to say who i was. Mrs Harrington thought i felt that crown of thorns because Jesus was telling me that i knew things and i should act. Of course I didn't really know who I was, either, at first. Mommy thought it was too much but Daddy told me and said I should keep it secret. But I could tell who or what I want. So I decided to honor mommy and not say. But incorporate Jesus since he was such a big part of Catholicism and decor in the house, daddy said that would make Jesus alive in the house and keep my secret. But allow my full powers to bloom.

And it worked.

So Captain Negroponte said that day that he kept getting questions from one particular kid as tall as me about White Supremacy and how his family taught him that all white people were bad and "only play with nigger kids" so he was certain he knew how to explain the white sugar cookie as long as i could do "the chocolate chip without fail then it would all be good and life would be perfect for this particular child"

"I can. I know just what to do. It will be perfect"

"Okay don't tell me. I dont want to hear until that day"

So he left with a bounce and his eyes glittery. His soul full of tears for this young man, looking back where he left all his hope and faith, walked down the short dark hall and into the sunlight of a cool brisk Saturday afternoon.

"Hey now i might need some help. I know i need to show the white dough and then how it tans when baked. I got that talking to her on the phone"

"Well she didn't say --"

"She said Bake. And i was transformed back into her kitchen and had a white plastic bowl which i put into the oven -- it was empty and out it came a clay not crystal like ours but ceramic Brown bowl with the white inside. So i know what to say about White people tanning to make 2 races so we all have to support the black"

"You you get!! So not all white people are the same!!! Good good!!"

"Shew! Thank you! So I was at the kitchen in the sink.. I mean -- i said that backwards -- so anyway I'm in the kitchen and i see the silver sink and the bowl appears before my eyes and suddenly im holding it in my hands and i went to hand the phone to you as i tried to hand the bowl to her in my standing hands and she didn't sound old like she did in the phone, she sounded very young and sing song. And she said "no the children" so what we have to do is give the bowl to each of the children and let them mix it themselves. That will help white supremacy in however that means. So then the black kids all add the chocolate chips. And then when we bake. That will represent the Muslims that i used to help when in was younger and who framed me to be as i am today. But the kids don't all know that so it will represent all the darker but lighter skin than black you know like Puerto Riccans and Vietnamese and Chinese and all those sorts of people and how the African Americans have inserted their "language" into us to make the world such an amazing place. Without them we wouldn't be the cookie we are today here in 1991. Isn't that right, Jesus?"

"Oh don't look at him so harsh. What do you need me to do?"

"Bake the cookies. At the start we will mix then he will tell a story then we will do the baking. We can do two days in a row or we can help you here in the kitchen. Megan and i can take turns like we always do and so if we wanted to spread the word for two weeks since its getting so cold, we can start in the afternoon instead of dusk. And do the two different cookies the same time -- No i mean in the ssme day"

"Okay that could work. We will just let Captain Nero know and I'm sure he could come up with two great stories to pass the time. And you will pay?"

"Oh yes. Yes of course. And when I talk to Steve I'll ensure Miss Harriet Tubman is getting her cut although she always paid on her own and said she was on solid woman and could make it doing all she pleased, her husband is still working. But he's a police sergeant so I know its not for money. But she could buy her something nice with his pension."

"Pension?"

"Oh he has two. He works a lot. One thinks she's like 80 and the other 102 or 103 i think it is. So one will be cut surely i assume. She said she doesn't think she can make it to 120 without them getting onto her"

"And his paycheck?"

"Oh he donates it to science. They own their own trailer and car and BBQ"

"BBQ?"

"BBQ Grill. Of course though if i gave her money she would probably just clothes the whole entire neighborhood. I'll ask Steve if thats what she wants or that i could do. She said that was the only thing she had left in life to apply for. I guess she always knew i had money thats why she gave me the evil eye. She always provides them gloves in the winter -- except she buys them in the summer when they're cheaper and puts them in a box to save them till it gets cold again. I tell you. She is smart. So about these sugar cookies. I sure hope it works. It seems the opposite of what we set out to do. All white with beautiful crystals on top. She said to make them look so worthwhile and be as perfect as possible..."

So while the White Supremacist cookie is after all just a cookie that we used to explain to a child that was deeply courageous to learn more and actually educated his parents and they hugged me with forgiveness, myself being white.

I have explained the example. And to further educate, the Sugar Cookie in all other reality when not used for a demonstrations, is just a cookie we bake when we have no other additives.

But as Captain Negro (you may call him Captain Nero as Mrs Harrington would as she refused to "see" any color other than the colors of the rainbow") explained we should always try to find something good to add to something that is empty of extras. Be it fruit from like the Garden of Eden or be it nuts or seeds like Big Bird from Sesame Street, prefers, we should always fill our life and our cookies with as much goodness as possible. But some days, he said, some days its okay to have just a plain ole bit of sugar. As long as it's full of love and not hate.

So please do enjoy your plain white sugar cookies that are made with love. Black Panthers nor "all" white people do not encourage prejudice -- even if it's just against a cookie.

God bless us.

So we picked for our "American Cookie" the cookie below: because of the way it looks and the way it tastes. I encourage you to buy some today. As you can see the chocolate chips are hidden just as African American Heritage is hidden. And when we take a bite a beautiful explosion of chocolate erupts and elivenes our spirits.

And to top the cookie off, all of this occurs inside. Hidden away. Just like our souls are.

Thank you for listening. If these people could touch you just one percent how much they changed my life and gave me love and education and pride and so much faith in other people. Then you will be so better off

I hope you allow them to touch your souls.

Now here is the cookie you all have been waiting for:

We would laugh. And call it the "Soft Bitch" we may be going hard and fighting loud but we always have time for a tear, a hand to hold, a face to hug.

Because this is The United States of America. And she ain't all that bad. Not her citizens. Her government. Yes. But her citizens are blessed by her rich history of which she had no control over.

The American Cookie. A brown cookie, like a white person tans with perfect pieces of Black African American heart and soul baked in. Cookies of the United States of America. I always called them "American Cookies" We even had kids sit and mix up chocolate chip dough from scratch, each child getting to mix and have an ingredient added while they mixed. They all got to see the raw dough was White. Then They were baked with love by Momma Harrington and they came out tan. Like white people do in the sun. So they could see for certain how the African American were and are in the souls and minds of white people. And how without the African American pieces of love they were not complete. To prove this we made cookies without the chips and they were bland. "But What about White Supremacy? Because that was just America without us. But What about how they think?" I was asked. "I guess we could try Sugar Cookies then and see what happens. So we made beautiful sugar cookies with sugar crystals on top. Thank God our Black Panther Leader knew the words because i was at a loss.

"We all mixed and made those cookies. We saw what was in them! Sugar! We made them appeasing to the eye and different looking and more special looking than an old Chocolate Chip with those crystals. But those crystals?!? They ain't nothing. We got them in chocolate chip and that is all they put in the White Mass cookies. Then we sprinkled a little on top to make them look clean and beautiful like a real treasure. But the Treasure is Truth!!! They're missing the real thing! Sure they look beautiful especially in the sun, the crystals reflecting the lights all over but those crystals are Blinding us to the Truth!!! They are all a fraud!! But go ahead, eat them. I would too. White supremacist and all. Now let's growl!!"

Reminder Established in 1991:

Miss Leena has a different fund called ""Harriet Tubman's Self Worth Working Still Today" and she has 778 users of my funds whom also feed the people of their neighborhood and streets. They do collard greens, steak and potatoes soup daily. Saturday and Sunday add hot dogs and Sunday Morning they do their African American Heritage Stories. Of course 68% are certified Black Panthers as well but no one has to pledge to an organization to feed children with love m they just follow their hearts.

The account labeled "Black Panther Food Allocation - For the Street Kids" 962 people across the globe do this on their personal streets nightly. Feed kids collard greens, hot dogs and/or hamburgers (with cheese and iceberg lettuce, tomato, onions, relish and so on). And on Sundays tell the stories of Black American Leaders that intended to destroy prejudice and mistreatment and succeeded and the listeners all get cookies.

Of course I bought the secret Cookie to represent our Nation. The United States of America.

The United States was founded officially on July 4, 1776.

Due to this i requested our policy be to employ no more than 77% of African American and no less than 76% the remaining percent be of at least 4 different shades of white.

We start at $18 per hour as that is the adult age in the USA to represent freedom. We employ 2020 in each factory setting arena.

Then we changed the recipe, to take out the lumps. To promise a better and smoother future for all.

The Original cookie to represent the past is gone is pictured on the box as well as an elf. It is not misrepresentation of what is inside, unless you expected to find an elf as well. In no way is there any identifying words that says that is the what the cookie looks like inside. But it is the Original cookie artwork packaging as i bought it in 1991.

We have been sued over the artwork not representing the contents. Once i sued myself and won. I got good game. Y'all. Persuaded everyone to see it my way! It was a mock trial. And so it was to prepare for a real trial which did occur and we did win. We simply told the truth of our packaging and said we were not ready to reveal it. It was 2007 and we hadn't done a full reveal since 1991 and so why not leave us alone as we couldn't promise the change?!?!

We did word of mouth and some soft T.V. programming to indicate it. But never The full storey as I have today in pulic.

So again here is the Original cookie it did actually look like but did crumble more -- we kept that chocolate chip explosion. But bake them twice to have an outer coating of smoothness.

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mad-madam-m · 7 years

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bc..well i dont think i need to tell you why considering the times youve seen it} but netflix is doing me so dirty. they're removing it on the 2nd of nov, and its like theyre taking away my family. imma miss them so much, . obviously they are all the faves, but have you answered which order you like them best in? if not please explain in detail for this broken old soul. so much love, a fellow leverage enthusiast ~

Tumblr apparently ate the first part of the ask, but I saw “removing it on the 2nd of nov” and shit I know exactly what you’re talking about.

For those who don’t, Leverage is leaving Netflix on November 2 and I AM DISTRAUGHT

To answer your actual question, I don’t think I’ve ever sorted the main 5 by who I like best, probably because it changes based on episode and how I’m feeling that day. But I’ll give it a go!

5. Nate

Nate is the lowest on here not because I don’t like him, but because when you stack him up against the others, for me, they’re all going to come out ahead. Despite being the so-called “white knight,” Nate’s a lot darker than the other characters (the CAREER CRIMINALS), which even Parker comments on at one point (”Is it just me, or is he getting creepier?”). The scene at the end of The Cross My Heart Job is absolutely chilling (“God killed you. I just made sure it took.”), and that was really the one that made me pull back and see Nate in a different light. I liked the scene, and I do think it’s in-character, but damn.

His mastermind abilities allow him to do a lot of manipulation, both with the marks and the team, and I think even Nate starts to realize near the end of the series that he’s reached a point that he either needs to get out or risk becoming a supervillain, basically. It would be really easy for him to hit that tipping point, because he’s very good at convincing himself he’s doing the right thing or that the ends justify the means.

4. Sophie

Sophie is so fantastic. I love how seamlessly she can slip between her roles, and I love how much she cares about the other members of the team, and I adore the friendship that builds up between her and Parker. There’s a post I reblogged recently that said, basically, Sophie wants to be the mom friend, but she’s really more of the wine aunt, and I think that’s pretty accurate.

Quite possibly my favorite thing about Sophie is watching her growth as an actual actress over the course of the series. She goes from being absolutely painful to watch in episode one (the team’s reaction to her is HILARIOUS) to knocking the same role out of the park and receiving a standing ovation in the final episode.

3. Eliot

I think what I love most about Eliot–aside from his country boy hipster chef aesthetic–is how okay with himself he is. If I remember correctly, John Rogers called it being “not at peace, but at equilibrium,” and I think that’s such a great description of him. It’s clear Eliot’s done some pretty awful things in his past, and he never glosses over how bad they were (even if he doesn’t talk about them). But it’s also like…he’s come to terms with the fact that he can’t change the past, what’s done is done and it’s a part of him now, and all he can do is move forward and do better. It’s a really great contrast to Nate, who spends a lot of the series agonizing over his decision to “switch sides,” as it were.

Also, let’s be honest here. “Till my dying day” and “I don’t have to search anymore” are two of the most goddamn romantic lines I have ever heard in my life. I never had an OT3 before this show but DAMN, Leverage.

2. Parker (or Hardison)

I’ve gone in-depth about how much I love Parker before, how much I love her arc and how she spends the entire series learning how to people and eventually becoming the one to take over the team. It’s such a well-done character arc that never feels like it’s OOC, and Parker never loses any of the weirdness that made her so unique and interesting in the beginning, even as she gains compassion and empathy (and learns how to deal with other people and with feelings) through being part of the team.

She’s absolutely wonderful and weird and outstandingly competent, and I love her with all my heart.

1. Hardison (or Parker)

MY PRECIOUS GEEKY HACKER CINNAMON BUN. Y’all, I cannot express how much I love Hardison. He’s so damn smart and it’s like…he’s kind of the first one who sees that they could be a real team, not just working a one-off the way the others say. It’s interesting that he’s the only one of the team who had some kind of a stable childhood–it’s clear his Nana loved all her kids fiercely and did her best to give them a good home, something evidenced by the fact that Hardison spends prom night hacking the Bank of Iceland to pay her medical bills.

He’s outstandingly competent, and if he screws something up, it’s usually because he did his job too well, rather than the other way around. He’s definitely younger than the rest of the team and it shows in his overall maturity levels (e.g., skipping a job to play World of Warcraft), but he’s also pretty emotionally mature, more so than any of them except maaaaybe Eliot. He’s so patient and sweet with Parker as she’s figuring out her feelings (PRETZELS, GUYS).

I just…I really love Hardison.

#believeindivinity #M answers #Leverage #I love this show #I love these characters

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delamd-blog · 5 years

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The Ultimate Guide to Adulting in the Philippines (My First Job Application)

Hello, this is the blog that no one asked for but I’m gonna write about it anyways lol So, months after graduating the board exam and applying for med schools, I was stuck at home with nothing to do. I couldn’t apply to the hospitals in my area because the training was for 6 months and if I got hired, I would have to sign a contract saying I would work for the hospital for 2 years. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Joke onli but I just couldn’t commit to such a long contract because I would be going to med school some time around August. So... what a great dilemma, right? After weeks of binge watching Netflix series and playing a bunch of games, I finally couldn’t take it anymore. I kid you not, I could feel my brain rotting away. I was so goddamn bored out of my mind that I decided to look for jobs.

Step 1: Writing a Resume and Realizing that You Have Nothing To Offer

I of course had to create a resume. It’s a good thing that when I was in college, the creator of jobs180.com had a talk in our college.He’s a really funny guy. So funny and convincing that he managed to convince me to sign up for his site lol Surprisingly thought it’s actually a good website because it create a professional looking resume and you get an online profile too. You can print your online resume into one page which contains your picture, description, educational attainment, licenses and certifications, seminars attended, skills, languages and character referrals. Literally all you need to do here is input your info and the site will arrange it into a professional looking resume so it removes so much hassle from your life. Plus, it functions like jobstreet wherein you get alerts for jobs that match your credentials. Just frequently check your email for alerts. I highly recommend this website. I wasn’t paid to say this btw but jobs180, if you’re reading this, hmu pls haha sponsor me daddies.

If you really wanna make your life difficult though, go ahead and make your own resume following the traditional standards set by your school or university and there are a lot of samples available in the internet which you could use as a guide.

Step 2: Realizing That Running Papers is Hard but the Government Requires It

So you’ve gone ahead and made a sick looking resume. You MUST think it’s time to look for a job and apply right? WRONG. Don’t do it yet, sis. Don’t be a pleb like me. Jobs will require you to have a bunch of things like NBI clearance, work permits, Philhealth, PAG-IBIG, SSS, TIN and credentials from your school like a diploma or transcript of records. So before you proceed with looking for a job and applying, I suggest you secure these documents first! Otherwise, after you get accepted at your job, you will be forced to cram all these requirements and you will be tired as fuck just like me! I was so dumb thinking I could get away with working and not having these things. I’m lucky that the company I applied for is very friendly to first timers and they were kind enough to give us a list of requirements for these things.

2.1 Get Yourself a Valid ID

Where to start? Well, sis, you need a valid government ID to get all these things done. How do you get that in the Philippines when the system requires you to have a government ID to claim another government ID?!!? Who the fuck designed this labyrinth of a life right? Fear not! I have a lifehack for you. Just go to your barangay and get a barangay clearance or go to your City Hall (even better if you go during the weekdays so there’s not a lot of people) and get a Cedula. These things don’t require a valid ID you just need to pay. These will serve as your valid IDs. But I really suggest that you get a Cedula because you will need this for other requirements. If you’re 18, you can get a driver’s license in LTO too. Plus, you can order a PSA birth certificate online and have it delivered to your house. Order more than one and immediately have it photocopied. You’re gonna need a lot of those. Always photocopy whatever IDs and important papers that you have. Keep 1 photocopy together with the original in a plastic envelope or plastic filing folder. It must be PLASTIC. Why? So that it’s waterproof. This is something that I learned the hard way. Again, sis, learn from my mistakes. Also, I suggest that you secure at least 2 valid IDs. Why? Because they need one valid ID to confirm the details of the other valid ID. I KNOW. STUPID RIGHT but yeah it needs to be done.

2.2 Next Valid ID: NBI Clearance

The good thing about this is it’s much easier to get this compared to back in the ol’ days. But you need to get this done before you get an actual job just in case you have the same name with a criminal in the Philippines. If you have the same name with a criminal, you will get a ‘HIT’ which will mean that your NBI clearance will get delayed. I was lucky that my name is so unique so I didn’t get a hit and I was able to process my NBI clearance in one day lol. To do this, just go to their website and register online. You have to set an appointment in their website. I suggest you do it in the morning so you can process other things in the afternoon that you might need. You must bring a valid ID as well as a birth certificate. You can pay them online through ebanking services but in my case my mom made me physically go to the bank. Remember to screenshot your reference number, their BDO account number and other details so you won’t get delayed at the bank. You don’t need to print your NBI registration form, but you need to screenshot your Reference number. Idk how it’s done in your NBI site but in my experience, I had to first have my bank deposit receipt authenticated then they gave me a queuing number. When my number got called, I did the biometrics then I presented my PRC ID and my birth certificate. They asked for my reference number so I showed the screenshot on my phone. Then I just waited near the releasing area to be called. Viola! I got my NBI clearance.

Important Tip: Don’t be a poo poo head. If you’re unsure of where to line up or what the next step is, ASK someone. Even the stranger next to you. I learned that Filipinos are actually polite and helpful if you’re going through the same shit. Kahit introvert ako, nagtanong tanong na ako sa mga katabi ko kasi naiinis ako mag-aksaya ng oras not knowing where to go. Plus, the quicker you get shit done, the sooner you can go home and rest, di ba? Motivation.

2.2. Philhealth, SSS, PAG-IBIG With Minimum Hassle? ask me how

Don’t be intimidated. These things can be done online! You just have to be very patient and fill out their online forms as soon as possible and as accurately as you can. I suggest you do Philhealth first coz (god forbid) what if you get sick and hospitalized from all the anxiety of job searching? Ya need Philhealth to cover for your sick ass. Don’t forget to print your MDR form just in case your employer asks for it. The website is kind of wonky. Once I logged out, I couldn’t log back in and recover my MDR so I had to manually fill it out haist. You can for this this through the bank too and then when you get the confirmation from Philhealth that they got your payment, bring the receipt to the nearest branch and get your ID! The whole process takes about 3 days. While it’s pending, apply for SSS and PAG-IBIG too. You have to do PAG-IBIG as soon as you can coz they process kind of slow. It takes approximately 3-4 days for you to get your PAG-IBIG number but at least you can text them to get an update about your application. When you apply for SSS online, they email you some forms. So print these forms ASAP and have them photocopied too. Once you have done this, congrats! You’re almost done!

Step 3: Looking For An Actual Job Without Experience and Realizing that All Jobs Need Experience

Wow, after going through all that trouble you now realize that there are no jobs out there for your field? All the salaries they offer are so low? Why the hell does everything require 2 years of experience?! And why are all the jobs so far away??? Sis, I feel you! I was so stressed out looking for a job online too! I really did not know where to start. So here’s what I did. I signed up for all the common job hunting websites coz my logic was, surely, these companies wouldn’t post ads in these websites if they weren’t actually actively looking. Right? Well, again.. I was WRONG. Some companies take so long to reply so you have to be very patient. Really, really patient. Don’t be sad if a company doesn’t reply immediately just think that maybe their HR is swamped or something. So for me, I signed up for Jobstreet, Glassdoor, Upwork, LinkedIn and Fastjobs. The good thing is that these things can be downloaded on your phone and you can turn on notifications for them so they will alert you for possible job opportunities. But for me, Indeed.com is where I found my job. This isn’t a sponsored post but hello websites, if you’re reading this, sponsor me daddies. Just narrow your search by entering your desired job and current location in the search bar and then apply to anything and everything. Dont be afraid of rejection! What’s the worst that can happen? NOTHING. And the best case scenario? That you get an interview or the employer replies! Every negative thing is just water off the duck’s back. Go lang ng go sis! Di lalapit sa you ang trabaho.

Step 4: Going to your first job application and Interview!

Let’s just assume that you got an interview or a call. (Keep your phone close by at all times and answer calls from unknown numbers politely because chances are, it’s one of the jobs you applied for calling) Dress for success if you’re gonna go for an interview. I dressed up in a corporate attire even if it wasn’t require coz I was trained by my Uni to do it that way eh. Besides, you will feel more formal and more serious if you’re dressed for the job talaga. For the interview, speak slowly and clearly. If you’re not confident, well, FAKE your confidence. SMILE and don’t be afraid to ask your employer questions. For the job i was applying for, we even had an online test which took HOURS. Lol. They were testing our english, active listening and typing skills. It’s a real good thing that I am a fast typer coz I scored the highest in their typing test. They require only 25wpm but I can type around 60 wahahahaha.

Tip: I suggest you go sit beside someone who you know is already done with the interview and ask him/her how it went. Then you can prepare your answers ahead of time. They usually ask the same set of questions coz who the hell has time to come up with personalized questions for every applicant. Sis, ako talaga introvert ako eh pero wala chinika ko pa rin yung mga katabi ko. hahaha ano namang masama sa pagtatanong? Eh pare-pareho naman kayo ng pinagdadaanan, right?

Step 5: Submitting All Their Requirements and Contract Signing

Well, you’did it, sis! You’ve gone and landed yourself a job! Time to get moolah! But wait, there’s more....hold your horses for one minute. Your employer is probably gonna require a few things still so be prepared.

Make sure that during this time, you are healthy and fit coz they’re probably gonna make you undergo a physical exam. For my job, the company shouldered my PE so haha I paid nothing. I had to get examined by a doctor wherein she did the routine things like a breast exam and reviewing my medical history with me. Also, I had to get an Xray, CBC, Urinalysis and Drug testing done so make sure that you drink lots of water before going to the hospital so you can pee easier. And for urinalysis don’t catch the first drops of urine, rather, catch the midstream so that the sample is cleaner and you won’t be positive for pus cells or bacteria. And don’t do the urinalysis if you have your menstruation because you will automatically be positive for RBCs and that’s a big no no. Wait for your menstruation to be over before you do this test.

Next, you’re probably gonna have to get a work permit coz in the city where your job is located. And how do you get this??? Well, just go to the city hall, pay for the work permit at the treasury department and then get your work permit at the work permit station (just ask the guard where this is located). Don’t forget to bring your cedula coz this is what they require to get a work permit.

After completing all this shit, you can submit your requirements to your employer and sign the contract! Just make sure to read it carefully. Viola! Job well done to all of us!

Now the hard part starts... training and actually going to work.

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