#also I had to look up the novel we read in grade 7 that I still think about often: Dust by Arthur Slade

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Vernon mother looks for more safeguards around transitioning after son commits suicide

By: Jennifer Smith

Published: Apr 28, 2023

Kaleb began transitioning in Grade 6 with the help of a Kelowna clinic

A Vernon mom robbed of her joy in life after her son committed suicide is speaking out against transgender policies in hopes of saving others.

Kaleb, formerly Joy, Fisher would have been 18 next month.

He was a straight-A student, an over-achiever, never did drugs or drank alcohol, had a job since he was 14 and was accepted into the RCMP Police Academy for the upcoming session.

But on April 23, Kaleb killed himself.

“I found him. I woke up in the morning and he wasn’t in his room. He had suffocated himself,” said Gail, a single mother who worked two jobs to provide for her son and herself.

He left a long letter for his mom and his girlfriend.

“He was afraid for the future. He said in his note he didn’t want to end up like me, working myself to death.”

Kaleb was transitioning from female to male, a decision Gail supported as she knew since the day he was born that he was destined to be a boy.

Gail thinks Kaleb’s decision was primarily sparked after a Grade 4 incident at school where he (she at the time) was molested.

He never wanted to be a girl after that and in Grades 6 and 7 started the transition.

“I supported him through it.”

Kaleb did his research and found a clinic in Kelowna that would help him be the man he wanted to be.

The problem was, Gail was never consulted by the clinic.

“At 13 he was able to do all of it without my permission.”

At 13 he couldn’t buy alcohol or cigarettes or cannabis, he couldn’t get a tattoo without his mom’s permission, but he was given drugs and injections and was even scheduled for a top reduction this year.

“He saw the doctor like once a year. It’s quite careless. They never even showed him how to take those injections.”

Kaleb was smart though, and he did everything right, even marking his calendar with injection dates.

In March, Gail said the calendar shows he stopped the injections.

That’s when she suspects things started to grow dark for her bright, bubbly child.

He never outwardly appeared sad or distraught in any way, but she learned how he was really feeling the morning she read his note.

“He was so angry, so sad, so hateful.”

He was on medications for years, and she knows there were stretches when he wouldn’t take them.

She doesn’t understand why a doctor or clinic would push these parentless procedures, with no real follow-up or support.

“There needs to be changes to safeguard these kids.”

She would like to see such youth, and parents, provided counselling before injections, so they are appraised of the dangers.

“Do we know the long-term effects of giving these medications?”

Kaleb isn’t the only one.

“I have friends in Kelowna that lost their daughter a year ago and she was on the same injections.”

And now she knows the harsh statistics of transitioning youth.

“Preliminary findings is one in five of these kids are taking their lives.”

Gail and Kaleb lived in Coldstream until COVID-19 hit.

“I lost my home, I lost everything,” said the entertainment director at the Longhorn Pub in Vernon who many know for her superstar karaoke.

She started a painting business, and Kaleb was her best employee.

“We were a formidable team.”

Kaleb attended Kalamalka Secondary briefly before going online with VLearn. He also attended Kidston Elementary, where he was given the Friendship Award.

Gail knows many students who knew Kaleb are struggling with the news and she has planned a Celebration of Life at Coldstream Creek Park for May 17 at 4:30 p.m. so they can come after school. She is trying to get approvals to plant a maple tree, as Kaleb wanted, in the park.

Respectful, kind and helpful are a few of the words loved ones use to describe him.

He was also incredibly creative – he had been writing novels since he was nine and was making costumes for the upcoming Comic Con.

“He was a beautiful soul with such a bright future,” said family friend Ricky Rochon, who thought of Kaleb like a son and created a GoFundMe for Gail.

“As a parent, I can’t fathom this kind of pain. It breaks my heart.”

More than $12,000 has been raised to date, a portion of which Gail plans to use for a bursary in Kaleb’s memory, and the rest to help her through this difficult time.

[ Via: https://archive.is/PaVCg ]

Note: Vernon Morning Star deleted this article.

==

"Vernon mother mourns lesbian daughter who was manipulated into a reinvention fantasy rather than deal with sexual assault trauma."

^ Fixed that.

#Buck Angel #Jennifer Smith #queer theory #gender ideology #medical transition #gender transition #trauma #safeguarding #medical safeguards #safeguards #religion is a mental illness

[natdrinkstea]

tagged by @chiropteracupola and @dxppercxdxver :3 time for you all to judge my taste in books!

rules: list ten books that have stayed with you in some way, don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard - they don’t have to be the “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you.

putting this under a cut because I hate making long posts. the rules up there say "don't take but a few minutes and don't think too hard" but I don't know how to do Either of those things. this post is Long. you've been warned.

1. is, of course, The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland In A Ship Of Her Own Making by Cat Valente. It's a wonderful, clever story that absolutely ruined the way I view fantasy, devotion, and girlhood at a young age. It's beautiful and magical and devastating AND I LOVE IT!!!!

2. The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater. I post about this series all the time but I never really express how much it means to me? It's about a friendship that's so strong it defies all odds, it's about finding magic in the mundane, it's about being a weird little guy with anxiety who's trying to be braver.

3. The House in the Cerulean Sea and Under The Whispering Door by TJ Klune (they are tied). SORRY FOR THE BOOKTOK MOMENT LOL but these novels are about finding love at an older age in an unexpected place!!! about relishing little moments with people you care about in a world that's beautiful! and the way klune writes introspection really feels like how I Think. it's like a magnifying glass into my brain

4. House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski. another one I post a lot about that seems very out of left field considering the rest of the list! but it was recommended to me at a hard time by one of my closest friends, and the incredibly intelligent and thoughtful way it uses Words and Language to express both Horror and Humanity has had SO MUCH influence on how I want to write

5. Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White. This novel captures queer rage in a way that feels deeply personal and wildly cathartic, and the desperation and passion with which Benji views the world and the people he cares about feels the same. Also it helped me get over my fear of meat 👍hooray, meat!

6. Now this is getting hard. um. Nona the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir <3 sorry to put a popular book again but listen. it's about humanity and how ugly and brutal and full of love we are. it's about being so painfully Normal and Alive in a world that's trying to keep what you love from you. It's about eating breakfast and petting a dog and swimming in the sea and it's UNAPOLOGETIC IN IT'S HONESTY. IT'S SO HEALING TO THE INNER CHILD TO SEE NONA LOVE SO FIERCELY

7. Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli. listen. it's not a great book. it's stereotype-y and gross and kind of boring but. when you're in fifth grade and very neurodivergent but trying very, very hard not to let yourself show it, reading about a girl who is proudly Weird and Impulsive and Kind and Creative is like finally getting to see what you could be if you were a little less afraid. she was a manic pixie dream girl but she was mine, y'know?

8. (at this point I'm getting up to look at my bookshelf)

Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. Again, hugely different from the rest of this list, but probably the book I read in high school that I felt was most worth my time. Stunning, earnest writing and a deeply human story. I could go on for probably an hour about how clever Ellison's imagery is, and how powerful a choice as small as leaving your protagonist nameless can be. If anything on this terrible list is required reading, it's this

9. similarly, The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. I read this book for school, but by choice, and I kind of hated it! Not gonna lie! But something about how batshit insane it is left a huge impression on me. While it's wildly unrealistic and often frustrating, there are little bits of earnest grief and uncomfortably close-to-home interactions that make it feel like it Could happen. The way it describes parent-child relationships makes me want to escape my mortal flesh due to feeling Too Seen.

IF YOU READ ALL OF THAT WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!! anyway @haijinks @neonphoenix @human-sweater-vest @lasaraleen @samwisegamwise I'd love to see your ten books but there is No Pressure :3 love u !

10. FINALLY THE END! FUCK YOU! PERCY JACKSON!!! it's so funny and clever and diverse and ACCURATE! twelve year olds are little shits who want desperately to run away from their parents and make friends and have adventures! it made my sense of humor what it is, it introduced me to a blonde female protagonist who was INTELLIGENT AND BRAVE (things I always thought I was but was afraid to be)!!!!! and, most importantly, my first thought upon receiving my adhd diagnosis a week ago (it's been about five years since I last read pjo), was "wow. I'm one step closer to being a half-blood".

EDIT: there are bonus books in the replies that my dumb brain forgot ab until rn if u wanna see :]

#long post #tag thing #seriously if you read this im so sorry. i kind of went wild infodumping in there #nat chats

[thenowherejournal]

A Chapter in Jelaine’s Life: Some things About being a Reader

An Interview Article by Francis and Nad (February 2024)

Readers have different approaches to picking up a novel and have varying tastes– and for a bookworm, you could imagine all the stories that had accumulated during their journey in the vast spaces of a library. Each shelf, rows and rows of stories that came from people all over history and realities. For this interview, we found someone who can share their experience with literature. Our resident bookworm for this article is Jelaine Dio.

BACKGROUND

The 25-year-old graduate of Bachelor of Science in Psychology found herself reading stories in her past time during 5th Grade. While the other kids in her class were playing outside during break time, she was exploring her English textbook for the short story collection; that is when the world opened up to her. Now, she reads novels from the likes of Sally Rooney, John Green, Jandy Nelson and Coco Mellors—some of her current favorite authors that she noted. Her current read is The Guest by Emma Cline, previously followed by Jenny Mustard’s Okay Days.

A lot of these books share a similar genre: Contemporary fiction. She stated that it was her favorite genre in fictional literature because she found herself easily visualizing the story if it is closer to real life or based on certain personality traits. 

KEY EXPERIENCES

“Summer Time: A Book A Day”

Only after a few years of falling in love with the short stories, she managed to read over 7 books a week during her summer vacations. Although some readings are motivated by school credits, she still read an impressive amount during that time. She noted that she has read over 200 books since then. As life goes by, people get busy with their time. Even if life gets busy, she always tries to slip in a moment to read. She said “I read my book if I was waiting for something or if there’s a downtime—whether in public or at home. Because I do not have any cellular data on my phone when I leave the house, I always bring my book for times when I must wait.”

We asked her what was the first fiction she had read and she directed us back to her 3rd year of Junior High. She asked her classmate for a recommendation for a book to start reading fiction “She is also a bookwork and reads her book on an iPad. I asked her ‘What ‘s a good fiction to read first?’ and she let me borrow a copy of ‘The Little Prince’”. She noted that before that, she was not reading much then. After picking up the book, that is when she started being a book fanatic again.

On average, outside of summer time when she finishes a book a day, her average reading time then lasts for two to 3 days per novel. Now, she slowed down to finishing a book in a week but if she has work, then she finishes a book in a month. After she finishes a book, she takes a day to take a break and she picks up another book to start. 

I’ll See It Through, Always

When she reads a book, she sees through it, even if it is average “It’s like in the movies, for example. I watch a movie and I find myself enjoying it but when I see some bad reviews, I don’t find it as a waste of time because I enjoyed the work”. She also added how she also thinks about the effort the author took to finish their story. That’s why sometimes when she finds a story in BookTok, a community in TikTok that shares content about literature, she reads it because of how it was marketed. Sometimes, she ends up reading erotic fiction without realizing it because of how the synopsis was advertised. During the interview, she laughingly said that she found that it was her guilty pleasure to read those types of stories

INSIGHTS

Eenie-Meenie-Miney Book!

When entering a bookstore, some people may feel overwhelmed when offered a lot of options. Jelaine is one of these individuals. Because of this, she has devised three ways to choose the next book she will indulge herself in. One is looking at its cover. As ironic as it is for a bibliophile, she does not really follow the famous saying “Don’t judge a book by its cover." When she sees that a book has an aesthetic and eye-catching cover, she will pick it up and read it. Though on some occasions, she will go through the book’s synopsis before buying it. 

Another way is through recommendations in social media’s “BookTok". She follows countless book lovers on Instagram that post their recommendations in their feeds. When she sees these posts, she will buy two to three of those novels and put them on her shelf of books she will later read. Lastly, she picks up and buys the next novel that she will read by browsing the books of the same authors as the previously finished novel she enjoyed. With these three ways, she has fortunately bought novels that she considered a “good book".

"A Good Book"

It is fair to think that a bookworm that has read hundreds of novels would have a grasp of what makes a "good book". In Jelaine’s viewpoint, a novel that has a striking and grand plot is not important, but what is important is the story’s overall flow. She also added that “ A good book is something you can genuinely relate to the character even though that character has a different experience compared to you." Jelaine also mentioned that when she underlined and bookmarked a lot of lines and parts of a book that she is reading, then that novel is exceptional for her.

LESSONS TO SHARE 

A Wider Vocabulary And Getting In Touch To One’s Feelings And Emotions

For almost half of her lifetime, Jelaine has been “sticking her nose" into numerous books in various genres and lengths. With all these consumed fictional works, she has gained extensive knowledge in vocabulary. She quoted, “Due to reading, my word bank is overflowing". As a result, she can understand words in novels that are unusual while also understanding each sentence that she reads quickly.

Reading has also helped her to become more empathetic, since she is able to know and feel what the characters are going through and understand them as the story goes on. Hence, when a person reads, they can be in touch with their emotions and process them in a healthy manner. 

Something for Readers

Jelaine’s go-to book recommendation to whoever asks her is Celeste Ng’s first novel, "Everything I Never Told You". She deemed this as a good recommendation since it has themes that will make a person feel multiple emotions throughout its entirety. As she shares what the book is about, she mentions that it circles around the idea of family dynamics and how grief affects each member. She said, "This novel is heavy and heart-wrenching". Another book recommendation she mentioned was "Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine" written by Gail Honeyman, which is also a heavily emotional novel.

In addition, she mentioned a quote from one of the books that genuinely made an impact on her. The line was “They teach you growing up that you are only one thing at a time-angry, lonely, content--but he's never found that to be true. He is a dozen things at once. He is lost and scared and grateful, he is sorry and happy and afraid. But he is not alone.” This is from V. E. Schwab’s, "The Invisible Life Of Addie Larue. With these few pieces of line, she feels comforted and loved since it tells the reader that it is good to feel emotion and not to invalidate one’s feelings.

 “When you read, it’s not just printed words on a paper, it is a mixture of the character’s experiences, feelings and views and in turn, you also experience what they have gone through and feel their emotions. With reading, you gain new experiences without physically experiencing them, but through words on a piece of paper." - Jelaine Dio

#booktok #bookworm #biblophile #literature #book recommendations #contemporary literatures #novels #fictional novels #cotemporary books

[danniswrites]

My writing turned totally around in Jan 2022. I was editing my latest NaNoWriMo project, and decided to check out a resource I found on nanowrimo.org to help me. Basically, I wanted help to write a dynamite blurb, or tagline. When I create a new story, I use a LibreOffice template I created to put my title page, copyright page with a sentence describing what the story's about, TOC, and a dummy first paragraph with my first dummy paragraph heading.

I wanted to know how to write better taglines.

So I read the article above and the light bulb went on! Simple. Elegant. Plotting.

I had always been a pantser. Never planned any part of my stories, and I have about 650 of 'em, half not even to the first draft. Dedicated pantser. In my teen years, I hated English literature in 8th grade even though I knew I needed to know how to plot, but all the analysis of the books we read [and I enjoyed reading them] just made me feel like, 'I'm too stupid to learn all this.'

Now, I'm reading these 10 steps and had an epiphany!

So, I broke down Step 1 and made it into my worksheet for coming up with taglines.

Here's how I think about those 15 max words to get it done:

One Sentence Summary: Adj.+Noun+Verb+Obj [Worker] [Action] [Effect] in 15 words or less Character With Most To Lose: What They Want:

So, for Adia, Scientist, here's what I came up with:

Discouraged scientist must discover a new fuel so her colony can escape from war.

I write science fiction and I loved chemistry in college, so, hey, I like formulas. I don't want my writing to sound like it came from a formula, but if you look at a lot of genres, there is one.

If you read enough romances, like my sister did, you figure out there's a pattern you can follow as a writer. I was there when she did. She went on to become famous and actually got an award presented to her in New York from her idol, Barbara Cartland at a writer's conference.

I--uh, I'm the non-famous sister who self-publishes on Amazon. But I enjoy my writing life, and though I do love to put romance in my books, romance writing is not my thing.

However, if you're like me and you want to improve your writing, Snowflake Method does work for a lot of us. And, if you buy one of Randy Ingermanson's very entertaining books, you get a free copy of his Snowflake Pro software, which walks you through each step and lets you see what you wrote in the previous step.

I don't do all 10 steps. Let's face it, I'm a plantser now. I'm not that meticuolous and organized. But, I do most of them, because Steps 1-5 give me a nice head start. And, Steps 3, 5 and 7 concentrate on your characters. Characters make your story. If you don't have a character that grabs your reader from the first chapter, why will they want to read your story? You have to have someone to care about and they have to have something happening that attracts the reader.

Now that I had a loose framework for my stories, I needed to [finally] learn something about plot structure more than the beginning, 3 disasters, and an ending. Randy does an excellent job of simplifying 3 act structure [though there are other methods such as PlotDot or Save The Cat that also work with Snowflake Method].

Another resource I found while exploring resources in the Now What? Revision pages on nanowrimo.org was K. M. Weiland's wonderful site:

This lady puts 3 act structure into terms that I can understand, and she has a vast database of books and movies that she's analyzed for us. If you think 3 act structure is complicated and boring, try reading a little of your favorite on this list:

I love the Marvel movies, so here's how she summarized The Avengers.

And she even mentions how what works in this movie would not, in a book. This is something I read time and time again about science fiction writing. Science fiction movies are not 'true' science fiction, for the most part. Star Wars is fantasy set on other planets. Star Trek has science in it, but again, is science fantasy.

In science fiction, science drives the story more than characters or plot. Though, to make my science fiction more accessible to a wider audience, I choose to concentrate on psychology, particularly interpersonal relationships. I do make sure that my science is feasible and believable, and explain it simply. And, I do my research.

So, when writing a book, it's good to see analyses like this of movies, but remember, it's different for books.

A friend who was also a producer told me, for a two-hour movie, you have to choose about two chapters for your script. The director has to insert some points to connect the dots. That's why many movies 'aren't like the book' they're based upon. It's an art to take a book and condense it like that so it still makes sense and absorbs the viewer.

But, we writers can learn much from movies about character development and how to get our readers involved with them, and with our stories.

#snowflake method #story creation #plotting #3 act structure #writing advice

[boricuacherry-blog]

Growing up in the Pelham Parkway section of the Bronx in the 1990s, Minerliz "Minnie" Soriano usually stayed close to home. The young Puerto Rican girl sold candy door to door, and was often seen sitting in the lobby of her apartment building doing her homework. She was described as bookish, responsible for her age, and often out doing tasks for her mother and stepfather.

When asked by police, neighbors at the family's building said she was a "wonderful, well-behaved child." Another neighbor recalled how Minerliz and her sister Nadia [who was seven] would sell books and candy door-to-door trying to raise money for their schools around Christmas, and Minerliz could sometimes be seen doing the family's laundry in the building's laundry room. "She took good care of her little sister," said the woman. "She seemed to have a lot of responsibility for a little girl. I felt sorry for her because she was always doing so much work."

The girl's aunt, Maritza Soriano, said that people called her "the Cinderella of the building."

Minerliz was born in Puerto Rico and lived there with her father, Luis Soriano, until she was eight years old, when she went to New York to visit her aunt Amelia and her mother. According to Soriano, at some point during this visit, her mother would pick her up from Amelia's house and take Minerliz with her, cutting all ties to the Soriano family and leaving the father with no connection to his daughter. When he would call relatives of Minerliz's mother, they would avoid telling him where they were.

The 13-year-old was a straight-A student who wrote poetry in her journal about Iove and rainbows. She dreamed of one day becoming an astronaut.

"I used to make fun of her about it," says her best friend Kimberly Ortiz. "I used to tell her, 'We're from the Bronx, we're not going to be astronauts.'"

Minerliz was also a passionate rollerskater and could be seen riding her bike or rollerskating around the neighborhood. She loved reading teenage romance novels, and carried a journal she wrote in constantly, such as scenarios of future love interests:

Edward will be my dream guy. He will want to go out with me. On our date we will go out to the movies. He will pick me up in a Forary [Ferrari]. After that we will be together for a long time. When I get to high-school I am going to be a H.S. drop-out, he won't. He will ask me to marry him, and I will marry him. We will have a baby and a Forary and live in a house.

Other entries had poetry:

I am the rainbow

Who you will see

Whenever it rains

And the sun shines on me

I spread my colors

Red, yellow and green

All over the sky

To make a colorful scene

I spread my colors

Orange, pink and blue

Down from the sky

To look down on you

Another entry:

Keep a poem under your pillow

When you go to bed

And when you can't go to sleep

You can take it out and read

And then fall fast asleep

-----------------------

Who I love

I love my mother

I love my father

Although Minerliz's school attendance was often spotty, she still maintained her grade-A average. On February 24, 1999, Minerliz did attend all her classes as scheduled. When the school day ended at 2:20 pm, she went to pick up her sister from the nearby elementary school. She and friend Ortiz would usually walk home together, but that day Ortiz wouldn't be able to accompany her home. But Minerliz would never make it home herself.

Minerliz often met sister Nadia at her school nearby, catching a bus, before getting off at the Eastchester Road stop and walking to their apartment from there. But that day Nadia realized she would have to make the 30-minute trip home alone. Her parents were reportedly concerned immediately, as they began searching the city for her. But a few hours, with no clues, they decided to get the police involved. They called authorities at 7 pm to report her missing.

"We've re-canvased the area a number of times," Detective Michael LaGiovane said. "We've checked the bus lines, interviewed the drivers and put up flyers around the neighborhood, trying to find somebody who may have seen this girl getting on or off a bus. She never made it to the apartment, according to her mother and stepfather."

Officers working on the case were able to place Minerliz leaving the school after parting ways with Ortiz, getting on the Bx12 bus, getting off the bus, and lastly, doing what looks like entering her building. Somehow, Minerliz went from being close to home to being found nearly two miles away four days later.

Four days later, the strangled body of Minerliz was found inside a dumpster behind a Bronx video store, about two miles from her house. She had been sexually assaulted, strangled and then placed in garbage bags before being placed in the dumpster where she was later found by a homeless man, who alerted authorities.

"I replay that moment over and over," says Ortiz about not walking home with her friend that day. "I blamed myself for years because I said to myself, maybe if I had asked I would have known what she was doing...I was the last person who probably saw her alive other than her killer. I didn't forget her all these years, and I don't want anyone else to forget her. The day of her funeral I held her hand and wouldn't let go of her casket. I made a promise to her that I would figure out who did this to her."

Now, in 2021, 22 years later, authorities announced they were charging someone nobody could have suspected - Minerliz's neighbor, Joe Martinez - with two counts of murder.

Martinez was a local amateur astronomer widely known in the Bronx streets as "Jupiter Joe," often setting up his telescope on subway platforms and sidewalks and offering free lessons on the stars and planets to children and adults. He had even been profiled on several local news stations and in multiple YouTube videos about his impromptu astronomy lessons. He sometimes carried an inflatable globe with him, which would attract interested children.

He was caught through familial DNA testing, a technique that searches offender databanks for a male relative of an unknown perpetrator. It is the first time the technology has been used to solve a crime in New York City.

While Martinez denied any involvement in the crime, his DNA was a match [when DNA found on Minerliz's sweater back in 1999 partially matched that of Martinez's deceased father, investigators then collected discarded DNA evidence from Martinez - which was found to be an exact match] for the semen found on Minerliz's sweater back in 1999.

The charges against Martinez come as a shock to those who knew him. By this time he was a father of two and still actively involved with the community.

"I'm still thinking there's got to be a mistake," says Joe Alcott, who met Martinez at a robotics conference, where Martinez gave a lecture. Alcott says Martinez seemed like "a fantastic guy."

"This case brings together modern science and traditional investigative work along with the determination not to give up on justice for an innocent little girl," said Inspector Neteis Gilbert, executive officer of the Detective bureau.

From a 1999 New York Post article:

Mourners filled the pews of a Brooklyn church yesterday to bid farewell to Minerliz Soriano, the 13-year-old girl who was savagely strangled and tossed in a Bronx dumpster.

"I'm in such a state of shock. My heart is in so much pain. The person who killed my daughter must be caught and brought to justice," said Luis Soriano, Minerliz's [biological] father, wiping away tears.

Absent from the funeral at Our Lady of Good Counsel in Bedford-Stuyvesant was Minerva Cepeda, Minerliz's mother.

"There's something very wrong with her mother not being at the funeral. We just don't understand. It's just so horrible, and she didn't make the wake either," Soriano said, as his slain daughter's coffin was placed into a hearse. "The last time I saw her was five years ago. Her mother has been hiding my child. I went looking for her, but nobody from the family would tell me where she was."

He added that he was upset at hearing that Minerliz would be running excessive errands late at night, saying, "She was a housekeeper for them. She was taking care of the other child."

The teen's aunt, Amelia Soriano, said she was "deeply upset" by Cepeda's failure to attend. "It just makes our pain that much worse. We don't know why she didn't show up."

Another no-show was Minerliz's stepfather, Ray Robles.

The teen, a bubbly, straight-A student who loved playing hopscotch and volleyball with her friends, was buried at Forest Green Park cemetery in Marlboro, N.J.

Minerliz's mother moved out of the family apartment in the few years following her daughter's burial. They have not been involved in the investigation.

#true crime #minerliz soriano #bronx #new york #homicide #solved #joe martinez #1999 #90s #2021 #boricua

[authoratmidnight]

don’t wanna derail that ‘childhood books’ post/poll but I GOTTA ramble cause i have THOUGHTS and they’re sorta all over the place.

Firstly is that, DAMN this webby site must be skewing younger than I thought/im just getting old, cause I looked up the books listed (since I recognized like, 2?? maybe 3 titles??) and like, their publication dates range from 1997 to 2011, with most of them being from 2007 onwards.

rainbow magic-2003

tom gates- 2011

diary of a wimpy kid-2007

dork diaries-2009

dear dumb diaries-2004

Jacqueline wilson books-?????(she has written A LOT, like from 1969 to 2022 so there’s no narrowing this down)

poison/rotten apple books-2011

amulet-2008 (also unlike everything else here this one was a comic)

captain underpants-1997

For important context, I started highschool in 2006.

Which means of the above list only Rainbow magic, Dear Dumb Diary and Captain Underpants would have been around for me pre-highschool. And depending on if you make a distinction between elementary school and middle school, or just go elementary school-high school(as im seeing ‘elementary school goes to age 13′ as well as ‘middle schools starts at grade 5/6′ so *shrug emoji*), then im left with just Captain Underpants as the others came out during the tail end of my pre-highschool years, thus making me a touch to old for them.

Also side tangent but a lot of the books/authors listed were British??? which probably explains why I had never heard of them?? Idk if we had them over here, so even if I had been in the target age for them i still wouldn’t have read them.

tl;dr I literally could not have read like 90% of the books mentioned b/c they were either out when I was in highschool or not published over here (or both in some cases).

My other tangent is, I hate the ‘these books don’t count cause they were for a higher reading level’. I hate to break it to you but, everyone reads at a different level.

My mom recalls that when I was in, about 2nd grade(i’ll be generous and say that since it would have been between grades 1 and 3)? So around 7/8 yrs, I was reading her Trixie Belden novels (mystery novels ala Nancy Drew, but w/ a younger protagonist). I was reading them and enjoying them. Until one of my teachers said I shouldn’t be reading them b/c they were “too high a reading level” for me. never mind the fact that i could in fact read them and understand them. at which point i apparently just, stopped???

so that comment about these books not counting b/c of the reading level rubs me the wrong way. Because someone could have read Warriors in elementary school. The first book came out in 2003 and I was definitely reading them then (meaning depending on what you consider elementary school i very could have been reading them then.) telling someone ‘this is to high for you’ is just, disheartening. Cause it could be, but also it might not be, you don’t know. and if it is to hard well, lesson learned, no harm no fowl.

idk. don’t gatekeep books, let kids read what they want (within reason obviously, higher level novels sure; hardcore erotica, probably not lol.)

[purplesurveys]

1525

What is your current favorite song? BTS’ Japanese songs are my shit at the moment. My obsessions with Don’t Leave Me and Ano Bashode are seeing a resurgence.

Do you develop severe withdrawal symptoms when you're weening off medicine? I’ve never experienced withdrawal, and I’ve never taken a certain medication regularly enough to go through this.

What are three of your favorite songs to sing? I don’t have favorites. I just like singing along to songs I know the words to, in general.

Have you been outside today? Nah. The farthest I’ve been is to the kitchen to get a portion of the leftover baked sushi from last night’s dinner haha.

If you had to move to another country, where would you move? Maybe New Zealand? 

What color are your Converse? White.

What color is your laptop? It’s silver/gray.

What electronic gadget would you like to get next that you don't already have? This laptop is definitely up for replacement soon - apart from the battery being a shell of its former health, I’m also starting to get notifications that my apps will stop being updated since my laptop’s OS is apparently considered ancient now lol - but I feel like I’d really struggle with letting it go. This baby’s been with me through a lot of life chapters. I do only use it for surveys at this point though, so it’s actually holding out for a lot longer than it’s supposed to.

Do you take a lot of pictures? Not of myself, but of places I go to, food I try, dogs I see, etc. I like keeping souvenirs of every day.

What is your favorite ride at the fair? The octopus, but my stomach has a love/hate relationship with it. 

Have you ever made sand art at the fair? Idk what that is and I don’t think that’s ever been a thing at our local fairs.

Would you ever marry someone who was lower class? Wow, what a question. Yes, I would.

Do you have an afghan? I have no idea what this is.

What color is your recliner? We don’t have one of those.

Do you have a balcony? Yep, technically. We used to have an Actual Balcony but the space was turned into an extra bedroom around 6, 7 years ago. We do have a rooftop and that’s where I like to go when I want to be alone without having to drive out.

Who do you write letters to the most? I don’t write letters often.

Do you share your diary with anyone, or does no one ever read it but you? Nobody knows about this blog apart from my sister and, regrettably, the person I used to date. Neither check it out though, as far as I know.

Are you jealous of anyone, even mildly? If so, who? Nah. I look out for me only.

What color are your favorite shorts? Gray.

Is there a guy you wish you hadn't let slip away? Nopes.

Favorite magazine? I don’t have one.

Have you ever done a craft you saw in a magazine? Maybe as a kid. Have you ever made a recipe you found in a magazine? I don’t think so.

Have you ever written to an advice columnist? No, I personally don’t find it helpful hearing advice from someone I don’t know.

Do you think you would make a good advice columnist? No. Same rationale as the one above; I would only feel confident giving advice if I knew the person well, i.e. my friends.

Which do you prefer: English or math? Math, as long as it doesn’t go so far as to cover calculus and trig lol. The way I remember English classes is largely analyzing novels, and I didn’t really enjoy that much even if I got good grades in exams.

What color shirt brings out the color in your eyes? I dunno. My eyes aren’t that remarkable to begin with.

Which store do you want to win a shopping spree at? Pick up to 3. S&R, H&M, NCAT. Lol at all of them being initials.

Are you jealous of someone who has more money than you? I am not. I mean of course it’s always good to be making more money than I am now, but I’m just glad I have a job to begin with. What color is your teddy bear? I don’t have a teddy bear but I do have a bunch of Tatas in my room. Tata is red, of course.

Who is a singer that has given you chills? Jin.

Do you watch America's Got Talent? Nopes.

Do you think you could win America's Got Talent? Not in a million years. I don’t even have a talent to show off.

What act would you perform in a talent show? My talents have never been on the performance side. If I had anything to show off it would be my writing.

What area are you the most gifted in, do you think? Again, writing. Non-talent-wise, reading people.

Have you ever practiced yoga? I’ve tried but I didn’t find it fulfilling and felt impatient for the most part. 

Do you find handstands scary? Hmm, I don’t think scary is the right word for it. Like, I just don’t attempt them because I don’t want to risk breaking my arm/s, which actually nearly happened when I was a kid trying to do a handstand.

Do you think babies are cute or scary? Lots of work, more than anything. I find them neither cute nor scary.

What is your favorite thing to buy at the Farmer's Market? I’ve never bought anything from that kind of store.

Do you eat dessert every day? Nopes.

Do you get carsickness? It’s very unpredictable. There are days I can work in a car, i.e. use my laptop or phone for an hour straight; and there are other times I’d feel much more poorly and I’d be forced to keep looking straight because otherwise I’d end up dizzy. 

What color is the rim of your full-length mirror? White.

Who do you have a crush on at the moment? Nobody.

Did your Barbies get crushes on each other and go on dates? The few Barbie dolls I had were unused for the most part. Kid-me was never into dolls much.

Did you ever play church with your dolls? No, definitely not church.

What was the name of your first imaginary friend? Katrina.

What is your state's bird (if you live in the US)? I don’t live in the States.

Which style of wedding dress is your favorite? I like the look of lace, but I don’t really have a particular favorite style.

What's a good boy's name that starts with the same letter as yours? Rafael.

Have you ever wondered what "Better in Stereo" means? Uhm, no, I don’t think so.

Do you sing into your hairbrush? I never do.

Green or red? Red.

Forgiveness or revenge? Neither. I rarely forgive but I also never plot revenge; I just cut out whoever needs to be cut out and focus on moving on. That’s typically how I work my way back to happiness and peace.

Do you wish on stars? I don’t. I like staring at them, though.

Do you enjoy editing videos? I do not.

Do you enjoy editing photos? Not really. I rarely retouch photos I take and just post them as is.

What photo editing site do you use, if any? I use whatever filters are available on Instagram.

Do you have photoshop? Nope. I’ve tried using it before but never understood how anything works. Do you use iMovie? Once. Don’t ask for what. What is something you enjoy doing? Going to museums. Seeing art.

Do you pray a lot? Nope. Never.

Do you cry out to God in desperation frequently? I used to. Homeboy don't give a fuck. < Same.

Does your make-up stay on when you cry? I’ve never cried while having make up on.

Do you want to be friends with someone who doesn't feel the same? Not really. If I don’t feel the same energy from someone, I will typically get the hint and stop exerting the effort.

Were your favorite celebrities when you were growing up the same age as you? No, they were all a bit older. I don’t think I was ever into anyone who was also born in 1998.

If you had a twin sister, what would she be named? I have no clue, actually. Maybe it would just be the name that ultimately went to my sister?

What is your birth order in the family? I’m the eldest.

If you gave birth, do you think you would want it filmed? In vlog-style, sure. I wouldn’t agree to a professional recording lol.

Are you a woman? Yep.

Do you have too much clutter? Like, in my room? No. In my head? It could probably be cleaned up a bit, haha.

Have you ever been to a counselor, and if yes, was it a good experience? Yeah, we had annual counselor interviews in my first school. I hated every single one of it because I knew it was mostly for routine and that the counselors didn’t know who I was anyway; and because it also largely felt like they were snooping around for shit to dig, ready to turn it against me.

Do you think it's better to talk to a counselor or talk to a friend? Friend.

What is one thing you are really good at? Parking. LOL

What did you go to college for? Journalism.

Do you want to go back to school for something else? If yes, what? Nah, it’s not in my plans any time soon.

What would your dream job be? I would love to work at a museum as part of its communications/promotions/PR arm, if those positions even existed. I know I’d be much happier doing that instead of spending every day rotting a little bit more as a corporate slave.

Are you happy today? Yeah I was super happy. It was a special non-working holiday so I got a day off work; and not even kidding, I spent the whole day in bed just alternating between watching Run BTS and playing In the Seom hahaha.

Favorite emoji? The teary-eyed but still smiling emoji. It’s a fairly new one.

Best word to describe you? Uptight.

Is your life a nightmare or a dream come true? It’s neither. I feel like I’m working towards a dream come true though, so that’s at least a good thing that’s happening.

#survey #surveys

[televinita]

Library Triage!

Since my library tour resulted in an absurd number of new checkouts, some planned and some not, what if we talked about them, since I can't seem to figure out what to actually settle down with and read next.

(includes books I had out prior to this week)

1. Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries: LOOK LOOK IT'S FINALLY HERE! I should definitely read this one first! ...I don't wanna.

2. Hemlock Island - Kelley Armstrong: a thriller that comes highly recommended by a friend with similar tastes, and looks great! I can't seem to settle into it yet.

3. A Barn in New England: Making a Home on Three Acres - Joseph Monninger: a 2001 memoir from an author I've read a whole bunch of books from over the years. Not sure if I want to read it right now but checked it out just in case.

4. The Big House: A Century in the Life of an American Summer Home - George Howe Colt: a 2003 memoir I tripped over while collecting the above, and which looks incredible, just the kind of story I want to know about always. "This poignant tribute to the eleven-bedroom jumble of gables, bays, and dormers that watched over weddings, divorces, deaths, anniversaries, birthdays, breakdowns, and love affairs for five generations interweaves Colt’s final visit with memories of a lifetime of summers." (I already had to check and make sure that didn't mean the house was getting torn down, but no, only sold.) It is, however, deceptively small in size while having small print and relatively narrow line spacing.

5. Snow Foal - Susanna Bailey: this darling-looking middle grade horse girl novel is actually what I want to read next, I think. But I still have to go pick it up.

6-7. Welcome to the Dark House - Laurie Faria Stolz: just a standard YA horror I've had on my TBR for a while and finally decided to collect while making a set of requests for the county-next-door library. I also got its sequel, on the assumption I'll like it.

8. Love Interest - Clare Gilmore: FINISH THIS BOOK ALREADY, TELEVINITA!! I've been stalled out on page 125 for 2 weeks because something about the MC and writing style just mildly nettles me and I feel like it's gonna be 3 stars, but also I just keep getting sucked into these same few pages over and over because A+ FAVORITE TROPE OF THEM FALLING ASLEEP TOGETHER (FULLY CLOTHED, TECHNICALLY PLATONICALLY DESPITE KINDA FLIRTING) AND SPENDING THE WHOLE NIGHT CUDDLING.

9. The Seat Filler - Sariah Wilson: this book was supposed to be my respite from the above, but damn, that stupid Driver detail really did derail me. >:(

10. Bright Lights, Big Christmas - Mary Kay Andrews: I was really excited to read this for Christmas because of how much I liked The Santa Suit, but I got on the request list too late, so while I give myself a 3-week grace period or so to still enjoy Christmas books, this one's longer than TSS and at this point I feel like I'll enjoy it more next season. Stubbornly keeping it 'til my hold runs out, though.

11. Jonathan Unleashed - Meg Rosoff: probably not going to read it this round, I just thought I might as well pick it up while I was there, since it's not owned by my two closest branches. Options, baby!

12. The Beginner's Guide to Living - Lia Hills: similar to #6, longterm TBR resident only held by the county next door. And by longterm, I mean I added it in April because the "struggling to cope with his mother's sudden death and growing feelings of isolation from his father and brother" part pinged when I was hunting for real-world approximations of Emo Loki's story. Just wanna satisfy my curiosity.

[edit: done. meh. skimmed.]

There! SO MANY OPTIONS. Pick one and sit down and run your eyes over the words already??

#library triage

[wonwooslibrary]

CALL CALL CALL HAD THE BEST OUTFITS FR. and ur so right about wonwoo's green suit like... bro ur out here looking like oscar the grouch... its not a good look on you...

omg don't say ur gonna fail sociology :(( U GOT THIS I BELIEVE IN YOU !! i also am planning on taking sociology cus i wanna take law later on (fml...). most likely in my opinion would be chan because he gives me the vibes. least likely would be shua or vernon because they are both fairly consistent in what they do.

since i'm finally working on ur fic, i wanted to ask u a couple questions to make it more personal. don't feel pressured to reveal too much because we all have our boundaries. alright, lesgo

q: are there any specific soulmate au prompts you enjoy(ed)? do u think there's a specific member who suits it the most? (🕯️- i love the classic red string prompts! I've read a lot of webtoons and mangas on them so it's nice to read them in a fanfic. 🌙-)

q: outside of svt, what're you're hobbies or interests? (🕯️- i like to bake, watercolor, write stories in my journal, and read novels :p i have my own bookclub with my friends lmao its usually just us yelling over characters 🌙-)

q: would u consider yourself an extrovert or an introvert? (🕯️- i don't believe in ambiverts im sosorry. but anywho, i'm an introvert because i get drained pretty easily. i need a minimum of 7 hours of alone time otherwise i'll tear my hair out. 🌙-)

q: do u like recieving gifts? anything specific? (🕯️- i like receiving jewlerry the most as a gift. earrings/piercings are my favourite accessory and im planning on getting a septum when i have the opportunity. 🌙-)

good luck on exams sammie!! i wish u all the best.

🕯️anon

UPDATE: bestie did not fail sociology....or at least I don't think I will anymore...I have a C+ right now and I'm currently writing my final paper, but I don't think my paper is going to be bad enough to lower my grade!!!

I'm ngl I did totally forget we have to write fics lmao rip why am I like this but YES I LOVE QUESTIONS!

q: are there any specific soulmate au prompts you enjoy(ed)? do u think there's a specific member who suits it the most? (🕯️- i love the classic red string prompts! I've read a lot of webtoons and mangas on them so it's nice to read them in a fanfic. 🌙- I love literally any soulmate au tbh I think they're all cool! I particularly enjoy matching tattoos and stuff similar to that! my svt biases are jun (ult), coups, jeonghan, and vernon but i love every member and think they all fit their own kind of soulmate aus)

q: outside of svt, what're you're hobbies or interests? (🕯️- i like to bake, watercolor, write stories in my journal, and read novels :p i have my own bookclub with my friends lmao its usually just us yelling over characters 🌙- kpop journalling!!! i'm on my 7th journal and yeah i just love that kind of stuff! I also really like animal crossing, pokemon, minecraft, and other games similar to those. I religiously watch miraculous ladybug like the five year old I am on the inside but it's fine lmao. ooo i also love reading!!! esp popular tiktok books! i'm currently reading The American Roommate Experiment by Elena Armas :3 )

q: would u consider yourself an extrovert or an introvert?(🕯️- i don't believe in ambiverts im sosorry. but anywho, i'm an introvert because i get drained pretty easily. i need a minimum of 7 hours of alone time otherwise i'll tear my hair out. 🌙- if ambiverts don't exist, I'd say....probably more of an extrovert. Although I have a lot of introvert tendencies (and medicated social anxiety lol)...i'm loud. all the time. i literally never shut the fuck up and all of my friends are sick and tired of me :P )

q:do u like recieving gifts? anything specific? (🕯️- i like receiving jewlerry the most as a gift. earrings/piercings are my favourite accessory and im planning on getting a septum when i have the opportunity. 🌙- love language wise, i do not like receiving gifts (my love language is physical touch lmao), but i love buying gifts for others! though if i was to receive a gift, i love wacky earrings, books and literally any type of stationary ever. oh, and money to buy other people gifts with)

I am genuinely going to love anything you write for me so don't stress to much about it! I can't wait to hear back from you!

~ Sammie <3 🌙

#🕯️anon #pls ignore how much of a mess this is #tumblr's a bitch #also i get to go home in 4 days i'm so excited i haven't been home since june! #sam's secret santa era

[rafeny]

Can I Tell You...about Bellee Huang.

I met Bellee ( Isabelle ) four years ago while I was on vacation in the Philippines. I’ve known her parents for years but I had only met her on that trip. She has a radiance that emanates as soon as you meet her. Of course, we immediately followed her on social media and was even more impressed at her talent as a dancer; ballet, jazz and modern.

In the past two years, she has been a part of Steps Dance Studio’s Elite Training Bubble, training rigorously every day with other professional and pre-professional dancers from the Philippines, Hong Kong, Washington DC and New York. As a senior in International School she’s focused on keeping her grade levels up, but also teaching herself how to play the piano and guitar. Whenever possible, she joins her family on trips to El Nido, Palawan where she scuba dives and explores the beauty of the rich marine life in the islands.

While I was working on my Spring / Summer 2022 collection I designed a bag inspired by her effortless grace and cheerful personality. The #BelleeKnotPouch is created from a soft leather with handwoven panels and no visible hardware. It features a self knotted shoulder strap so you can adjust the length and comes with a detachable shoulder strap so you can wear the bag across your body.

Read our Q & A below :

1.    What is your idea of happiness?

My idea of happiness is spending my a morning 30 meters underwater, in the pristine El Nido coral reefs. Time seems to stop when I dive, and Itruly feel alive.

2.    What is your greatest extravagance?

My greatest extravagance is a peaceful, 5 am coffee. A great start to my day consists of alone time, a rich cup of hot black coffee, and my favorite alternative-rock music. I’ve discovered the peace I find as the sunrises with a cup of coffee in my hand allows for me to clear my head and heart.

3.    What is your current state of mind?

I must admit that with so much going on in my life right now—dancing, school, family time, creating art, and more—my mind feels like the song “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen. My mind is in a constant state of flurry, yet I find such peace in that movement. Keeping busy it what keeps me going!

4.    Whose style do you most admire?

I admire Iris van Herpen’s haute couture pieces inexplicably. Each piece is carefully designed with such intricacy, and being passionate in art, what more is there to love other than beautiful textures, movement, and biomimicry?

5.    What do you consider your greatest achievement?

I competed in the Asian Grand Prix international ballet competition in 2019. It was only my second ballet competition, and I was able to achieve first place in Manila regionals and was a finalist in the Hong Kong semifinals and finals. The entire experience taught me about the importance of perseverance, self-compassion, and a support system. I learned how to stay focused and block out negative energy—important life skills that I still practice today!

6.    What is your most treasured possession?

My most treasured possession has to be my first ever pair of Pointe shoes. Using them for the first time is an extremely important milestone in any dancer’s life. It signifies a step up in your career, as well as a new chapter of hard work, momentary pain, beauty and passion all at once. 

7.    Who is your favorite writer?

Kurt Vonnegut, author of novels such as “Galapagis” and “Slaughterhouse Five” is my favorite author at the moment. His Post Modernist novels opened up my eyes to the ambivalent nature of literature. Themes of skepticism, and the role of ideology in asserting political and economic power are extremely intriguing in his works. 

8.    Which living person do you most admire?

My sister Nikki, is the first person to come to mind when I am asked this question. She is my best friend, and I look up to her in so many different ways. Her work ethic, drive, and unconditional love for those closest to her heart are some of the many qualities that inspire me everyday. She is always there for me, and she is my rock.

9.    Where is your dream destination?

My dream destination has to be the Galapagos Islands in Ecuador. I’ve visited the archipelago where Charles Darwin completed his study on the Theory of Evolution back in 2010. With such beautiful wildlife and biodiversity, I’s really love to visit again, now that I am older and am beginning to understand much more about the world around us!

10. What is your motto?

I have an acronym that I use and have inspired a lot of my friends to use whenever we are dealing with difficult situations: RIB. Responsibility, Internal power, and Balance. These three concepts keep me balanced and hold me accountable for so many different obstacles that I have encountered and will encounter in my life ahead of me.

I love seeing how the #BelleeKnotPouch compliments Bellee’s easy, breezy style. She’s wearing it exactly as I imagined she would.

SHOP THE SPRING / SUMMER COLLECTION!

#Rafe bag #Bellee Huang #Rafe clutch #Rafe New York #handwoven by artisans of India #handwoven leather bag #fashion handbags #designer handbags

[verytiredblob]

My reviews on Manhwas

Alright so, recently I've began to fall into the great Manhwa hell, as if I didn't have enough fandoms.

But I neither have friends to chat about this with, nor a Discord chat where I can fanby about it, so I just decided to throw it in here.

These are both Manhwas I recommend and my opinions on them. If there are any spoilers, They will be striked through and in blue for anyone that wishes to avoid them (if anyone even reads this lol).

1. The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass (악녀는 모래시계를 되돌린다)

Premise: Aria was a terrible person and was sentenced to dead by being beheaded. In her final moments, she discovers her step sister, Mielle, actually manipulated her during her entire life just so she could get Aria killed. She then is beheaded, and wakes up in the past, in her child body. So now, she must work to both survive and get her revenge on her sister.

Lovely story, and my first Manhwa. The art is simply stunning, and all the characters are very flashed out and developed. Aria (MC) is the pettiest person alive and I'm here for that.

Also, I noticed a trend where, even though the manhwa has "Villainess" in the title, the MC is usually a total angel. Well, not here. Aria is egotistical and a total Diva, she has her goals and one of them is her revenge and by all that is sacred she'll get it.

Mielle is a great villain, she has grown a lot in her own pettiness and tactics since she was a child, and I really like that. Also, watching her suffer for being a terrible person is delightful.

The Male Lead (Asher) is also really cool, I like how he's both witty and friendly, and how much he truly admires Aria and her achievements.

The side characters are also pretty good, and they get a lot of focus because of their interactions with the main cast.

Again, The art is S T U N N I N G. Look at this:

Literally all panels are drawn like this or better, I'm in love.

All in all, an awesome read, 10/10, I love this a lot.

2. The Monster Duchess And Contract Princess (괴물 공작가의 계약 공녀)

Premise: Leslie's life was terrible, and always centered on her big sister, Eli. After a failed attempt of her family to grant Eli her sister's skills and knowledge, Leslie searches for the feared "Monster Duchess" in an attempt to survive.

Another one with incredible art AND incredible characters. Leslie is an absolute angel, and seeing her grow as a person is awesome.

The gender envy I feel with the Duchess is unbearable, she's utterly perfect. And the entire family is so dotting and loving and sweet, my little grinch heart can't take it.

She's perfection, really.

The plot keeps getting more and more mysterious, and I'm here for it!

I love each of the main characters a lot, and even the villains are well done and fuel your hatred.

Also, Eli Sperado and her Dad can choke on those black flames for all eternity.

Another 10/10, although I must warn anyone that wishes to read this that the translations sometimes are very spotty and messy, so it can be a bit annoying.

3. I'll be the Matriarch in this Life (이번 생은 가주가 되겠습니)

Premise: Firentia was a girl that died in Korea in her past life, and was reborn into an influential family as the illegitimate daughter of the third son. Her life was pretty terrible, with in the end, her family ending up in poverty and disgrace because of her uncles and cousins, while she was exiled from the family. After another accident, she wakes up in her past, now with a goal: Become the Lombardi matriarch and stop the other family heirs from bringing it to ruin.

Awesome art and Awesome plot number 3! This is so good, genuinely. Firentia is such an awesome plotter, and her goals and actions are very well developed.

The Male Lead is my baby and I shall protect him, and the side characters? Utterly stunning.

The twins are the cutest fucking shit, seriously. Like, look at these two?? I'm dead. Although, all the children are very, veeery cute.

I like how Firentia subtly manipulates things around her to get what she wants. It's similar to Aria, but she's much more mature and knowledgeable, and has a much less petty goal.

Guess what? 10/10. Yeah, I know, I'm terrible at grading, sue me.

4. The Twins Siblings' New Life (쌍둥이 남매의 뉴라이프)

Premise: Arien and Arjen were a pair of twins that died in Korea, and were reborn again as twins and as the Emperor's illegitimate children. Now, with only each other to trust, they must do their best to survive.

My current obsession. I really like this one. The art is not on the same level of pure Awesome like the ones before, but it's pretty good nonetheless.

The plot is pretty nice, but I must warn you: DO NOT expect them to act like adults. Honestly, just forget they're meant to be reborn in this world. They're just normal children and that's it. They act like children, and they think like children. Honestly, I think the author just wanted to make this story about them as children and their producer went and said to make them reincarnates because that Isekai shit is popular nowadays (And to justify they having memories of their newborn days). Seriously, just ignore it, the experience reading will be much better.

Other than that, the story develops nicely. The characters are all very good and the plot is very mysterious. I am holding myself back to not spoil anything, aaaaa.

There is also only one another thing that disappoints me: Arien is very clearly the MC. The story is told by her eyes and we only know what Arjen thinks or feels when he says it 9 or by subtext). I really wish it was more balanced, because they're both different people and have different perspectives, and also I really like Arjen.

I have absolutely no idea where this plot is gonna go, and honestly? I like it. It's very rare when I don't know how things are gonna develop because of other stories, so it feels very fresh.

The brothers are freaking awesome. I was so scared they were going to hate the twins and be petty, because of other manhwas that are like that, but they're so loving and sweet?? All hail these idiots. Also, Daddy is the biggest dumbass of all, this poor clueless man.

An 8/10, because of the complaints above. Still a good read, and I really like it, even with it's defects.

4. I'm A Stepmother, But My Daughter Is Just Too Cute! (계모인데 딸이 너무 귀여워)

Premise: A seamstress dies of overwork in Korea, and wakes up in the body of Abigail, the vain Queen, and the evil stepmother to the princess Blanche. Yes, It's like she stepped into the world of Snow White, and she must now do her best to live and.. Dote on Blanche with toys and dresses as much as possible?

Again with the awesome art and nice plot. Why are there so many manga with awesome art?? I'm so envious.

May all hail this crispy, delicious art.

Abigail is a whole mood, and I enjoy how she is inserted into the life of someone who had already lived and had a reputation. Her actions baffle a lot of the characters, as do her motivations, and I'm here for it.

The King has also an amazing backstory that's very tragic and yikes. I enjoy it, really. Not something you see in men's backstories that much.

Also, I'm kinda saddened by the fact the MC and the king are bound to become an actual couple. They would be such good platonic friends stuck in a political marriage. I was robbed, y'all.

Abigail greatest ambition is to get to design a dress for Blanche and have her wear it, and you know what? Good for her! Sometimes, it's good to have an MC that is not plotting against world at large.

Also, her mirror? Verite is simply perfect, I love this guy. I non-jokingly ship him with Abigail more than her with the King.

Blanche is a sweetheart, she deserves to be in my "adopted children" wall.

For now it's more of a Slice of Life than anything? But I also don't know what happens in the novels, so I'm just going to wait.

For the current lack of a grater plot, this gets a 7/10. Still pretty good and entertaining, especially for when you just don't feel like trying to understand deep plots with lots of elements.

5. Beware of the Brothers! (그 오빠들을 조심해!)

Premise: Another one of those "I lived my life and then wake up in the past." Hari was adopted by this family after the death of their only daughter, and although her parents love her, her 3 older siblings very much don't. She lives a miserable life in their hands, and when it's the night before she is to get married and finally escape her brothers, she wakes up in the past, and has to deal with them all over again.

Another nice art one, and the background characters are very nice, as is the MC.

But for me, it has a big problem. And that problem is the main ship. It's Hari with her eldest brother, Eugene. Even though they are not related and yadda yadda yadda, they were raised as such, and thus it bothers me. Also, Eugene is as plain as white bread and just as generic when seen as the Male Lead.

I ship Hari with Johan, even though I know it's not gonna happen, Ugh, the pain..

For me, the main point in this is Hari's relationship with her other siblings and the other background characters. I'm here for that wholesome sibling interaction. Her relationship with Erich, specially, is awesome. I love these two so much

It also kinda lacks a plot? Other than the relationship development and their story as a family, but again, I have no idea how they will develop this.

Also, pet peeve? Why do they keep using Oppa instead of translating it properly as brother? I get honorifics and stuff, but it's so annoying.

I give it a 6/10. Good characters and good relationships outside of the bloody incest thing, and it's a good enough way to pass the time.

There are two more that I've read, buut it's like 4am and I'm sleepy as all hell, so I'll just add it in a reblog or attached post later, and I plan on doing this for other future manhwas as well.

Do you have any recommendations or comments or just wanna talk about any of these manhwas? Hit me up!

#The villainess reverses the hourglass #the monster duchess and contract princess #i'll be the matriarch in this life #I'm a stepmother but my daughter is just too cute! #Beware of the brothers! #manhwa #webtoon #manhwa recommendation #isekai

[kimium]

A few weeks ago I reblogged a list of questions around Death Note and thought "well if no one asks that's a shame but it's fine". I then remembered (then = now) that this is my blog. I can talk about what I want without prompting.

So, here I go. Rest is under the cut.

1. Do you prefer the anime or manga?

I think both versions of the series are beautiful but I have to give it to the manga. Fun fact, I read the manga in high school, just around the time the anime aired. I then proceed to not watch the anime until... about three months ago.

2. Who is your favourite character?

I'm very basic— my favourite character is L. (Runner up goes to Naomi Misora mostly due to the LABB murder cases.)

(As a side note, now that I'm older I actually really like Near and Mello. I think both are fun and got a lot more flack from the fandom than they deserved.)

3. Who is your least favourite character?

Probably Teru Mikami. I think it's because he's the character trope "I was picked on in school and now that I received one (1) bit of power I'm now acting exactly like the bullies I hated". Hypocrisy is very annoying.

4. Who were you rooting for? (Team Kira or Team L?)

Initially, when I read the manga I was cheering for both parties. I liked how Light had a supernatural edge and I liked that despite the odds, L was figuring everything out. But now? I'm 100% Team L.

5. Who is your favourite shinigami?

While I like both (I'm not including Sidoh), I think I have to give it to Ryuk. I love that he's chaotic and has always been in it for himself.

6. Which is your favourite arc?

Again, I'm basic— I like the Yotsuba arc. Mostly because it's "look at what L and Light could have been if not for the Death Note". It's bitter sweet because we know this won't last. (Also like it because it's a popular spot to divert canon in fanfiction.)

7. What character deserved better?

MISA. She deserved so much more! There was so much wasted potential with her! For example, she could have snapped out of her infatuation with Light and realized he's only using her. She could have been a threat to him! Also, wasted opportunity to have her get together with Rem (or Kiyomi Takada, which is a fascinating ship).

(Shout out to Matt as well. Boy deserved more development.)

8. Which of the openings is your favourite?

Controversial answer: Neither. I dislike both openings.

9. What is your favourite song from the OST?

Any of the ominous choir chanting tracks. Those popped off harder than required. I love it.

10. What is your favourite song from the musical?

There...is a musical?

11. Who is your favourite ship?

I like the most popular (and again basic) ship of the series: LawLight. Some of my other favourite ships:

-Misa/Rem

-Near/Mello/Matt (My eyes have been open to this OT3. Thank you, AO3.)

-Beyond Birthday/Naomi Misora (my girl deserved better than Raye Pember and yes, a serial killer with identity issues is better.)

-I've also seen Beyond/Light/L as an OT3 and that's Fascinating on so many levels.

12. When did you first get into Death Note?

I was in grade 9 or 10. I read the manga.

13. Do you own any merch? If you do, what's your favourite thing you have?

I own a Death Note. I also own the light novels (LABB murder cases and L Change the World). At one point I also owned the live action dramas but I'm not sure where those are. My favourite is the LABB murder cases. I really enjoyed that light novel.

14. What is your favourite piece of trivia?

Originally, Near and Mello's names were supposed to be swapped. There was an error in editing/printing and they mixed up the names.

15. What is your favourite line from the anime?

To this day, even if I hadn't fallen back into the series, the line "L, do you know Shinigami like apples?" has lived rent free in my brain. Upon getting back into the series, I really love the overlapping lines from Light and L when they say "I am... Justice." It's corny, yes, but also shows both of them are strong in their convictions and believes. I love parallels between opposing characters.

16. Have you read LABB?

Yes, I have! I really love it. I think if Death Note ever did an anniversary anime celebration they should animate the light novel. Or animate the one-shot.

17. If you've consumed any of the side media (novels, musical, TV drama, etc.), which is your favourite?

Besides the LABB light novel, I love the drama. I love how it ended with L exposing Light. It's a fun "what if the series went this way" ending.

18. What song reminds you of Death Note? (Either a specific character or the story as a whole.)

Many, many, many years ago a friend showed me an AMV for Death Note to the song "Chop Suey!" by System of a Down. To this day it still makes me think of Death Note.

#personal #death note #me just rambling unprompted because this is my blog

[twink-frank]

hi i’ve noticed the pencey prep gay conversation going on over on @awsugar and i have spent lots of time dissecting pencey prep lyrics and subjecting nathan @faggot-frank to my deranged ramblings so Here is my pencey prep super ultra mega gay lyrical analysis masterpost. it’s very long so its all under the cut but i will include a TL;DR for those who dont wanna read paragraphs of my deranged ramblings: Pencey prep uses lots of themes of: heartbreak, forbidden love, keeping love a secret, and toxic relationships. which none of that is gay on its own but combined with them almost never using gender indicators in their songs and the “nail in the coffin song” of 8th grade it ends up being a very Fruity Album.

I will be going through heart break in stereo in order and pointing out which lyrics and elements of certain songs jump out to me as Super Mega Gay and then summarizing my conclusions at the end <3

1 ) PS Don't Write

PS don't write is about leaving a toxic relationship, it has notes of moving on and leaving someone behind. "packed up all my shit / stole back all my tapes / left your spare key under the mat / this is not a joke / you'd better learn to take a hint / 'cause i'm not coming back / maybe you'll understand / when you're waking up alone / in a cold and empty bed." it has no gender indicators or pronouns which is the case in a lot of pencey prep songs, and something i'll bring up quite a bit. it also has general "coming of age" themes, something common in lots of pencey prep songs. which Yeah apply to straight people to but read in this context combined with future evidence can be pretty Fuckin Gay. "somewhere along the line / i found a hidden strength / i didn't know i had / standing on my own / cutting all the strings / that you used to control / surprise surprise / i am long gone / if you thought you could hold me down / by holding me up / you were wrong / you don't call the shots anymore." not to say only gay people can find inner strength and the room to love themselves but combined with other context it is a really poignant message about accepting yourself for who you are.

2) Yesterday

Yesterday is very repetitive and has a lot less to analyze, but the constant themes of wanting to "run away" strike me as very Fruity. once again, not saying gay people are the only people who can want to run away or escape from something But Combined With Other Context. and once again a song with no gender indicators, doesnt specify who the speaker is running away with or what they are running away from. just that they want to Leave. "i wanna run with you / i don't care what we do / gotta get out of this place / because it feels like yesterday." also saying "it feels like yesterday" could mean that the town feels backwards or old timey in its beliefs, implying homophobia. how the speaker wants to run away from an old fashioned town.

3) Don Quixote

i'm going to bring up the cultural significance of this title and literary reference first. Don Quixote is a classical novel by Cervantes which is about a crazy dude who thinks he's a knight, and goes on weird adventures with his best friend. It's typically used as a symbol of following your dreams and breaking free from what people expect of you. In the context of the song its used as a symbol of following your dreams with Someone. once again this someone is given no gender indicators. "you say it's not worth it / been burned too many times / if your spine's receding / you can borrow some of mine / don't go and quit right now / cause i'd follow you through hell." "you say so many things / and not a word of it was true / if you're still in that state of mind / i'd still vacation inside of you / cause i think you're worth every minute / and every dime that i spend / i'd spend all my time fighting dragons / just to keep you alive and talking." it's about wanting to spend time with someone, wanting to be with them no matter what. and its also about how this person feels unreachable, like being with them would be a fairytail but the speaker Still Reaches for it. "your imaginations running wild / round your deceptive heart / this is my crusade / and you're the unreachable star / but i'm reaching." talking about this person being unreachable and unattainble. which isnt gay By Itself  but again combined with the other context. FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

4) 10 Rings

another breakup song once again with no gender indicators, are you guys sensing a theme here? anyways this song is about someone cutting you off and then coming back suddenly wanting to talk again after breaking your heart. it has a sense of forbidden love, like this person Told the speaker they cant be together for Whatever Reason ;] and is now trying to come back and repair their mistake when the speaker is already hurt and reeling. "learn to live with decisions you make / i learned things from the break i can't forget / catch you doing drive-bys at 1 AM / it must kill you to know we can't be friends." "end of the summer you cut me off / i cut you out all the pictures i have." which this Isnt Gay By Itself. but bringing that phrase back with other context this is such a uniquely gay experience. being in love with someone and they cut you off Because theyre weirded out by that and then they try to come back, convince you it meant nothing.

5) The Secret Goldfish

my FAVORITE pencey song. this one has a lot. it's another breakup song about heartbreak and loss and im not even gonna dwell on the no gender indicators because yall see the theme now. it has themes of heartbreak and losing someone who is very close to you and having to let go of them and having to accept that this person cant be yours and you cant be with them. "land of the lost / i found myself in nothing / this time, promises broken find me / clutching to you for something / something that you're not / believing in what you say / it makes me lie awake at night / the truth, the truth is not what scares me / it's why you have to lie / all the time." here we see these themes of having to let someone go because they just Aren't The Same as you. "clutching to you for something / something that you're not." maybe like chasing after a straight boy and getting rejected? also the repetition of "heartbreak is forever" when you're young and gay losing that first person you felt some kind of love and attraction to can feel like the end of the world and can be a huge deal because of the lack of representation and guidance young gays get. and the themes of nothing lasting forever, the fact that gay people never get promised eternal love the same way straight people do.

6) 8th Grade

this song is the nail in penceys fucking coffin honestly. the rest of these songs have a lot of plausible deniability, just vague enough to maybe Not Be Gay. but framed in the context of 8th grade they all start to get a lil fruity. Im just gonna go through lyric by lyric for this one. "caught staring again / like a deer in the headlights / when you can't move fast enough / i take a hit for the team / pretty girl is blushing / i can't tell if she's disgusted / laughter starts to swell / someone gets the joke." this kid was staring at some cute boy ass and got caught and everyone is laughing at him for being gay. the "pretty girl" here is what most people think he's staring at but with the rest of the song it's obvious she's not the one he's looking at. "bells ring, i make my escape / helps a little, but doesn't save / beat downs a common thing / with us every day / maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools / so maybe i like the abuse / or maybe i just like you." literally This is the nail in penceys fucking coffin. "maybe i like the abuse or maybe i just like you." this kid purposefully takes beatings from his bully who is Obviously male if you take into context the next verse. because he Likes Him. "maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools" literally willingly taking beatings from his bully bc he has a crush. "another confrontation / you've got something to prove / your girl can't tell how tough you are / when you beat me up in the boys room." this just confirms that the subject of the song is a boy, and a tough macho boy with something to prove. maybe also hiding his own internalized homophobia through bullying? "well i made a big mistake / but i can't help who i like / this may not cost my life / but i am branded forever lame." LITERALLY ITS RIGHT IN YOUR FACE. "can't help who i like" "branded forever lame" do i even need to fucking explain this oh my god. he got outed as gay, he Can't Help Who He Likes and is now branded forever as "the gay kid." the rest of the song is general "im gonna get back at my bully" stuff but literally THIS. THIS is the song that brands all penceys other very vague songs as 100% verified super mega ultra gay.

7) 19

this song has a lot less, and is more about internal struggle than anything. but it is the only song with a "she" pronoun in it. but there is one thing i wanna mention. "I scream out loud / but no one hears a sound / i take my life with lack of sleep / i believe the things i feel / the things i see are fooling only me." this song is about not believing what the world shows you, believing what you think is true in your heart and what You feel. not what anyone else tells you. which is a gay experience. believing in yourself and your heart and your feelings, believing theyre right and theyre true and valid. Also this song has a significance in coming right after 8th grade on the album, going from being 13 to 19, from being unsure in your feelings and angry about the people who dont like you to lost and hopeless but somewhat grounded in yourself.

8) Trying To Escape The Inevitable

this song is about an abusive and toxic relationship, knowing you Need to escape it but being so infatuated with the person you literally cant. “i have this reoccurring dream / you make it hard for me to breathe / i gave you everything i could / i gave up everything i owned / and when you smile it’s not for me / you offer little sympathy / your grasp so far exceeds your reach / i wake up, this is not a dream.” “i have this reoccuring dream / where you admit that you’re not happy / i know that you will never leave / you’re here just to torment me.” which like again this isnt an exclusively gay experience but it is very interesting when framed that way. in that gay people are way more likely to throw themselves into abusive and toxic relationships because they dont feel like they can get anybody else. the repetition of “i know i should run” makes it seem like the speaker Knows he should get out but he just Cant because what if he never finds love again? and the little reprise in the middle “i have a new dream / and everything is perfect / the sky is pink, yellow, green, blue, and orange / and all the past has been forgotten / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and i fell into your trap.” implying that even if he escapes, even in his dreams he still falls for this person because he feels like he cant have anything else.

9) Lloyd Dobbler

another love song about wanting to have someone but not being able to because of Unspecified Forbidden Reasons. “why are you so far away / even when you’re standing next to me? / your eyes give you away / telling secrets your mouht don’t feel like talking.” falling in love with someone, maybe sensing that they like you too. that they Are Like You and that they have a Secret they dont want to vocalize. do i even need to explain it at this point? and in the chorus “That I’ll be your lloyd dobbler / with a boom box out in the street / and i’ll be there if you need someone / even if he isn’t me.” saying you’ll be there for someone even if that person isn’t you, also the use of Pronouns which is big for pencey prep. which yes the use of “even if he isnt me” could imply a straight girl ooorrr....Fruit Behavior. also this line “There’s a norman rockewll painting / of two kids sitting on a bench / it reminds me of all the stupid things / i’d like for us to share, but i dont care.” normal rockwell is a painter that paints traditionally “american” scenes. like the american ideal, that maybe he wants with this person. but he knows he cant have, but its stupid and domestic and he wants it but he Cant Have It because of FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

10) Florida Plates

another of my favorite pencey songs, and this one brings back those tragic “love but we cant have it” themes, except with a more somber tone. instead of being angry or resentful or spiteful in the face of adversity. its an Acceptance, of what they had and how good it was and how it just Cant Last. “kiss a mouth to open eyes / stall one last moment before goodbye / drive in different cars in different directions / never write all the letters full of good words, better intentions / it’s for the best although we don’t know it / paper words will cheapen the moments we shared / it’s better if i say nothing at all.” it’s about knowing you have to leave someone, even if having them in the moment is great they Can’t Stay and you can’t even talk or write about the moments you had. which do i even need to explain it at this point? forbidden love, not being able to have each other, not even being able to Talk about it. its a secret, and painful one but its beautiful while you have it. Conclusion alright!!! thank you so so much if you read all the way through that i Know it was long i Know it was a lot of repetition but i wanted to make my point. pencey prep has very big gay themes in their music. with forbidden love, letting go, heartbreak, keeping secrets, toxic realtionships. which none of it is gay on its own but in the context of: almost none of the songs having clear gender indicators and always speaking really vaguely about the subject and Eight Grade the “nail in the coffin song” you can see my point thank you and goodnight.

#adrian speaks #mcr #pencey prep #frank iero

[river-bottom-nightmare]

For some reason BirdFlash gives me the look like nerds but are actually jocks vibe while JayRoy are the look like jocks but are actually nerds vibe. TimKon is the classical jock + nerd and since this came to my mind I can't unsee

At first sight, birdflash gives off STRONG nerd vibes. wally’s actually known throughout the school for his science achievements, trophies, and awards. you don’t stand a chance against him in the science fair, don’t even try. and dick went to a fancy rich prep school where he scored some of their highest grades. just because he doesn’t like school doesn’t mean he isn’t good at it. and whenever they see each other in civvies, wally’s chattering on about this experiment he’s doing for fun and it seems like dick actually understands what he’s talking about, not just nodding along. and with a single visit to wally’s school, he revolutionized the tech department with a few careless suggestions. but really, that’s just their individual interests. wally might like science, but his entire life is running. he trains and trains, both with and without the speedforce. along with being trapped in that thing for years, wally’s pretty sure the reason he’s the fastest speedster is because of his strict track and cross-country training. and no matter what the circumstances, dick’s always happiest when he’s in the air. he possesses a natural athleticism that leaves others in awe along with skills finely honed to perfection for years that very few others could even hope to achieve. the two of them are long and lean and strong, and are in complete control over their bodies. they play different sports for fun, give each other leg warmers, socks, and water bottles for holidays, and go on early morning runs. the two of them are sports culture to the max (i actually made a post about that here)

now jayroy give off just the jock vibe, maybe even running into punk territory. first of all, lets get this out of the way: BICEPS. two of the biggest pairs of guns you’ll ever see, i swear. roy’s got a cocky smirk and he wears threadbare tank tops with dumb slogans on them and he never takes that trucker hat off. he makes his way into the basketball game going on at the courts on the bad side of town with a laugh. he squares up his fists for a fight any time there’s a hint of action. his nose is crooked from all the times its been broken and reset. not to mention his tattoos. and yes, roy loves lian with his entire heart and cares for her with everything he has, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was a teenager. now jason, jason just looks the part. he’s huge, and built like a goddamn brick wall. those muscles gotta be used for something, right? he’s always wearing those fingerless gloves, but his knuckles are constantly bruised anyway. you stop and take a double take anytime you see him when his lip isn’t split. almost everyone’s seen him with a gun. but he also spends his free time reading literary classics. his bookshelf is crammed full of old paperbacks, with everything from Frankenstein to Wuthering Heights to Farenheight 459 to The Importance of Being Earnest. The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy is a guilty pleasure of his. And he’s not just flipping through them either. no, he reads them. poking plot holes and other criticisms faster than a bullet. character analyzations sharper than his jawline. a lecture about the problem with many contemporary and modern novels longer than his dick. yea, jason devours those novels, and can tell you about all of them. as for roy, he’s inventive. always tinkering, always fiddling with a piece of tech, always creating. whether it be a new set of trick arrows or a coffee machine that spits out poison darts of a toaster that has 56 settings or a goddamn bazooka. he loves building stuff with his own two hands, a messy bun on his head, grease on his face, goggles shoved over his eyes as whatever he’s making sparks to life in his hands, bested only by the strike of pure creative passion in his eyes. textbook definition mechanic and geek, and we love him for it.

timkon is definitely the classic jock + nerd pairing. the only problem is that they always switch which is which. kon drapes his spiked leather jacket over tim’s shoulders when he’s cold, and later on at football games, tim cheers kon on wearing kon’s varsity jacket. but tim dropped out of high school because he has “better things to do” while kon just genuinely enjoys learning about stuff. kon does need help with his homework, so he calls tim, who always gives kon the math formulas he forgot the empirical formula of a compund that he doesn’t feel like calculating while simulaneously working on a couple other cases (he bounces his theories for a certain homicide off kon). but half of tim’s closet is made of sports jerseys for his favourite teams that he wears completely unironically even though they practically dwarf him, and he drags kon to all of their games while cheering and hollering, screaming at the tv when he can’t be there live,,,,and it’s not just one sport,,,,,nooo he’s got a good many he’s completely emotionally invested in. tim steals kon’s shirts so often that he just starts giving them to him, and dear god there’s almost nothing kon loves more than seeing tim wearing his clothes, looking tiny and misleadingly delicate and his. but tim carries around a skateboard and uses it practically 24/7, and one afternoon was spent teaching kon how to use the thing, including lots of laughing and falling over and steadying hands on waists, before a break at an ice cream parlour was followed by a sugary kiss. so yea, timkon is jock + nerd culture, with both of them being the jock and the nerd (also sorry anon i know you were thinking of kon being the jock and tim being the nerd, and honestly that’s how i usually view it too, its just this particular idea popped into my head and i had to write it) (also for timkon, i usually go for skate culture, and my hc for that is here)

ok wow this got a lot longer than i expected. i was shooting for a couple lines about my ships, and ended up with a whole new hc list instead. ooooof. tag list: @comicsandhoney @birdy-bat-writes @astroherogirl @anothertimdrakestan 

#scribbles from the swamp #birdflash #jayroy #timkon #dick grayson #nightwing #wally west #the flash #jason todd #red hood #roy harper #arsenal #red arrow #tim drake #red robin #robin #kon-el #conner kent #superboy #dc #batfam #birdflash headcanon #jayroy headcanon #timkon headcanon #dick grayson headcnaon #nightwing headcanon #wally west headcanon #the flash headcanon #jason todd headcanon #red hood headcanon

[freeseafirefly]

Ob[li]vious (RinHaru fanfic)

Since I'm back to the fandom after a 7-years-hiatus (not that i ever stopped loving these idiots) and have just learned some exiting things like a new movie coming out on the date Harurinralia episode aired, RinHaru advertizing Tokyo Olympics merch etc, you can imagine what an emotional mess I am rn. Also, i've rewatched the anime and read some things i haven't yet read (like Season 1 novel), and all the feels are so fresh as if i'm back to 2014 T_T Thank you, Free!, for being my time machine. Thank you, RinHaru fandom, for being strong over the years, I love you all sfm T_T

Anyway, there's probably tons of RinHaru Olympics fanfiction (gonna catch up on it), but I couldn't help it once my head started imagining this. It's nothing much, no plot and non-native engrish, but i want to contribute something to this fandom, too. Also, it's probably a parallel universe cause it's Sydney Olympics. Idk. I just wanted it all in one :)

Read on AO3 or under the cut

“Haru…!” Rin chokes out as he claps his hand against the wall and watches the familiar slender shape cleave the air over his head, all in one heartbeat that seems like eternity.

It’s the same as in elementary school. The same as in the second grade of high school. As in a number of dreams Rin had over the years. The same, yet much, much louder.

...The crowds on the stadium lose their minds as Haru slices his way through to the end of the pool, a ferocious underwater lightning that seems to warp space and time themselves, and the moment he touches the wall the world goes white with noise.

Shining.

It’s the shining of the Olympic Gold.

Rin drifts back to reality, at least some limited version of it, to the feeling of Haru's body crushing against his in a stormy hug, and they're both screaming, God knows what, just as the rest of their relay team and the Olympic Sydney and probably the whole freaking world right now.

And Rin can almost process it, flashing before his eyes in an almost coherent sequence of images: years of ups and downs—Haru—their best team—his father’s proud shadow—Haru’s laughter—Japanese flags everywhere— But for an endless moment, the spinning world freezes, and it’s only him and Haru. Alone. They’re together in this place of dreams, right on the spot where Haru broke out of his shell and found his passion, eyes shining and wings unfurled; and Rin can barely breathe as he squeezes him in return, something irrepressible exploding in his chest. And Haru laughs , all tears and sweat and dripping water that leave a salty taste on Rin’s lips because at this moment, it seems only natural to press a kiss to the side of Haru’s neck and then breathe out: “We did it, Haru! We fucking did it...!”

He doesn't think about how gay it must look, and he doesn't have the time to, actually, because the next moment the world picks up full speed, and it's not just him and Haru but their whole team in a jumbled heap of dorks going nuts on the poolside because they have the fucking right.

~

The locker room is a mess, too. They sing and shout something jolly and off-key and victorious, kiss their gold medals, drink non-alcoholic beer because some of the guys still have races tomorrow, but Rin is still drunk and he can’t quite feel the ground under his feet. They have to sober up a bit for some government officials to congratulate them on the phone with high words about the honor of Japan and the historical achievement; then for the press to ask them some obligatory, obvious things. What do you mean what I’m feeling right now? I am HAPPY! What? Me kissing Haru? Of course I would kiss him all over again because WE FUCKING DID IT! Hey, Haru! But Haruka is not by his side as he’s probably answering some stupid questions, too, and Rin just laughs, blows kisses into the camera I LOVE YOU ALL! and rushes back to hook himself into the jumping circle of his precious teammates, coaches and staff, and sing the hymn once again.

~

The emotional burnout afterward is real. They walk down the street in deafening silence, he and Haru, just two ordinary guys in their everyday clothes as if they weren't THE BEST IN THE WORLD mere minutes ago. Hell, they still are. Rin can barely keep in the giggles that are bubbling in his chest. He feels like they’re some galactic heroes in disguise. It’s freaking awesome.

Haru is silent, though, probably still not quite back to it, or maybe he’s just being Haru again. Rin leaves him be.

Sydney fusses around them, colorful and bright, all dressed in olympic yet still the same familiar Sydney that once broke his bones and watched him drown with these bright cold eyes. Yet Rin loves Sydney. Look at me now, he thinks proudly. Look at me.

But Sydney doesn’t care to look, too busy in its daily routine, too large. They could’ve just taken a taxi to the station, but somehow, without sparing a word, they both decided it’s a walk. Sometimes Rin wonders if they’ve already reached that level of synchrony where they just don’t need words. It’s been years, after all. Mostly spent apart, but still. It’s not so hard to read Haru when you know him through. Not hard at all.

Yet now, he keeps dead-silent, and keeps not looking at Rin, and Rin begins to feel uncomfortable.

Is it that kiss, after all…?

Rin tries to think back, through his most recent memories which are a mashup of the wildest moments of his life, back to that moment. And his body immediately flushes with heat from the vividness of it.

...Haru’s skin is silky and smooth, and his wet hair are soft between Rin's fingers. Haru’s hands are squeezing Rin so tight there must be bruises on his back. Haru’s taste is… Haru-like. Rin can still sense it on his lips. He sucked it in too hungrily, absolutely in a non platonic way. At the mere thought, a sweet wave washes through his body from head to toe, making his every nerve buzz. Rin chokes on a breath and stumbles.

“Fuck,” he murmurs.

Haru flinches slightly but still doesn’t look his way.

The reality begins to sink in. Rin is an idiot.

~

It does look gay. Totally.

Rin sees the photos on their train ride—mostly the screenshots various people mailed him—when he jams a cap over his hair and fishes his phone out of his pocket, absently going through his inbox. All the messages are a crazy mess of emoji and caps YOU DID IT WERE SO PROUD OF YOU and they all end up mentioning that kiss. Rin curses under his breath and switches his phone off.

Shit.

And of course, of course where they have to be heading now is that exact same room in that same freaking hotel because Haru called Rin on the night before their flight and said he must book it.

That was a joke, moron! Rin palmed his feverish face, for once relieved they're talking on the phone, no video.

Yeah, I figured, Haruka said, and Rin registered—or imagined?—notes of sadness in his voice. But I thought it's a nice idea for a good luck tradition…

How is it a good luck tradition if we can't stay there before the tournament? Rin moaned, because obviously, they would be living and training with the national team in the Olympic village, what is this airhead even thinking?

Then we'll stay there afterward, Haru said matter-of-factly. It's the intention that matters. Book it.

It won't be available anyway, Rin sighed with exasperation.

Do it, Rin.

And just like that, Rin succumbed and went on to book the damn room, his face hot and his heart jumping and missing beats. Because it’s one thing when it's a mistake, and it’s a whole other freaking thing to do that on purpose, clicking all the OK buttons under the "1 double bed" "ensuite bathroom" shit and the pictures of the said bed and the said bathroom behind the glass.

And of course, of course it just ought to be available for that exact date. Holy fuck.

~

There would be times when Rin would seriously consider confessing. He would even go through the most romantic places in his head and compose the most perfect, totally non cliched lines. In his imagination, it would all be sakura petals and city lightscapes, breathtaking views, fancy restaurants with the best mackerel dishes and—if he let his imagination wander off further—private pools and night beaches. He knew it obviously wasn’t a good idea, but he also knew he would jump into it someday. Probably. When they’ve achieved their dream and he’s desperate enough and—

And what? Haru—suddenly—likes him back?

Rin knew Haru liked him, probably even loved him, but not in that way. Obviously not in that way.

...But now, just like that, everything is out in the open, and there’s no meaning in confessions anymore. Rin clenches his sweaty hands as panic begins to engulf him, slowly like a tide.

They walk the last stretch past the quay, and somehow it feels so nostalgic as though they used to live here, not spent a couple of nights some years ago. The city skyline across the water is drowning in the purplish haze of the evening as the night draws closer. So does their destination. Rin feels nausea tugging at his insides.

His voice is a crack as he finally braces himself and says, “There on the poolside... Sorry. I lost it.”

It does not rip through the thick silence between them. Somehow, makes it even heavier.

...This is not how Rin pictured their post-victory evening. In his thoughts, it would be a blur of merry partying involving blissful laughter and bright sparkles in Haru’s eyes, as well as touching words of eternal friendship, team spirit and camaraderie; and the most intimate feeling of love finally intertwined with the joy of the achieved dream would be only for Rin to bask in, drown in, his deepest secret. It was never supposed to confuse and burden Haru. It was never supposed to come out for the whole world to behold.

Now, it must be all over the news. A spur-of-the-moment Olympic coming out... The Japanese Team lets passion speak after the dramatic victory... The Pride Flag rises high in the Olympic Sydney... Rin hisses under his breath.

He's fucking ruined it.

“It won't happen again. Ever,” he finds it important to add. Like it somehow can turn back the tide, fix things and make Haru—along with the rest of the world—just forget.

“Eh?” Haru's voice comes barely audible through the thick beats of pulse in Rin's ears, and the sound of his steps halts.

Haru...halts.

Rin flinches and turns around.

“Ever... Again...” Haruka's lips move without producing a sound. He still doesn’t look at Rin. The bangs fall over his eyes like a shadow.

Rin is confused.

...until something rings alert in his memory. It was one of Rei's talks while Rin was teaching him swimming on the evenings. “...He had been out of it ever since that loss to you. And in the Regionals, it's like he finally collapsed. ‘Will I never swim with Rin again...?’ He seemed devastated.”

Rin was... shaken once again by Rei's revelation. "I won. It means I don't have to swim with you ever again. Ever." He never knew his words had affected Haru that much back then.

It was another grain of hope, another detail Rin attached to his imaginary “signs puzzle”, too eager and incautious. He knew it was a bad idea, he fucking knew it right from the start, and today it finally overflowed, breaking through the barrier of his self-control.

“Ever. Again.” Haru repeats in a firmer voice, his lips twitching in a scoff. And when he raises his head at last, his eyes are a flash of blue blazing Rin’s heart: “Are you chickening out now?”

Rin gulps. Heat flushes the back of his neck. “I’m not...! It’s my fault, ok. You don’t have to comment on it to the press. Just tell them they can go to hell. I’ll do the explaining.” It’s my fault. You shouldn’t be dragged through that shit. You can’t let it affect you, Haru…

“Rin.” He still can’t read through the calmness of Haru’s voice, and maybe even Makoto wouldn’t. “It is you who cares about these things. I never did.”

...and Rin feels all the air being squeezed out of his lungs. He’s back to that horrible, devastating moment in the dark changing room when Haru yelled at him almost the exact same words, “What future? What dreams? It’s you who cares about these things! I’m not like you...!”

Rin forces air back into his lungs. Now, Haru seems rather steady. It is Rin’s voice that trembles as he says, “Like hell you don’t care… wasn’t it you who stopped in the middle of the pool once because of all the pressure?”

“It wasn’t because of the pressure,” Haru denies right away. "It was because I couldn’t understand why I must feel pressured. I just wanted to swim. Not to please the public.”

“You mean… This thing now doesn’t bother you either?”

“Why must it?”

Rin chuckles as he exhales, “Right. You’re the guy who would undress in the middle of a shop to dive into an aquarium, after all…”

Rin's knees almost give out with relief. He’s been an idiot to fear that Haru may leave this path—the path he’d once chosen and never wavered since then—just because of some stupid public scrutiny. And no, Haru's also wrong, because this shit doesn't really bother Rin on itself—but only as far as it affects Haru.

Haruka just nods seriously, his eyes��deadly focused blue lasers—never leaving Rin’s. “If this issue is settled, let’s talk about the important stuff. You kissed me, Rin.”

“I-I thought we’ve just been talking about it,” Rin says in a small voice, panic returning and hitting him like a wave. Right. Publicity is one thing; but what happened between them still stands, and it can't be brushed away just like that. “Haru… I’m sorry. I was carried away by all the feels. It's nothing. It’s not like I… want anything, you know…” he trails off.

Breathe, Rin. Just breathe.

“So, you are chickening out. Even with the gold medal on your chest.”

“I’ve said that I’m not!” Rin clenches his fists in desperation. "God, what do you want me to say now? The obvious? Wanna laugh at my misery...?” No, Haru wouldn’t laugh, he would feel guilty and sad, like that winter when they were 13, and it’s even worse. “Want it to ruin everything we’ve achieved together...?”

“Ruin?” Haru closes the distance between them in a few firm steps like he means it, and halts only when they’re inches apart. Are they being too loud...? Right, they’re still on the quay… Rin backs off until his ass bumps against the railing. But Haru probably wants to push him into the water because he closes those last inches, too, and presses their foreheads together. “Ruin...like this?” his breath soughs across Rin’s parted lips, “—or maybe like this?” And then it’s not just air, but a touch, too. Hot, angry, gentle, wet, greedy— short. Too short. “You’re such a drama queen, Rin.”

...Passers-by continue walking past them as if the world hasn’t just shaken and ground to a halt. Nobody even looks their way. Ok, this is Sydney, not Iwatobi, not like it’s too big of a deal here, two guys standing like this on the quay and— wait, what…?!

“Haru… Do you… too…”

“Obviously. I do.”

“Since when…?”

“Since forever. I thought you knew.”

“Me? Knew…?” Rin barely recovers enough to peel his hands off the metal and clasp them on Haru’s forearms lest he disappears, and everything is another dream, and Rin is the biggest idiot again. “How on earth? Why couldn’t you just say anything?”

“...wasn’t sure you feel the same,” Haru grumbles.

“Oh? Wasn’t it obvious ?” Rin asks in a mocking voice.

“It kinda was.” Haru is still agonizingly close, just enough a distance to look into each other’s eyes, yet he keeps glancing down at Rin’s lips, and each of these glances releases a jar of butterflies in Rin’s stomach. “You’ve been staring at me with these lovestruck eyes since elementary. But it also could have been that you’re just an idiot, so.”

Rin digs his nails into his skin, outraged but too messed up to come up with a witty response in a second, since another second Haru adds, his voice soft and suddenly not so confident anymore: “Anyway... I was afraid to screw up everything, and before the Olympics, too.”

“Now who is the drama queen?” Rin whispers, tentatively sliding his hands up Haru’s arms, sensing goosebumps popping up under his fingertips.

“It’s still you,” Haru smiles and kisses the tear off Rin’s eyelashes.

~

I want to add the hotel part, of course, once i finish it. So, let me know what you think about it so far! Love you all <3

#rinharu #harurin #rin matsuoka #nanase haruka #sharkbait #free! #free! fanfiction #my fic

[nanowrimo]

A Step-by-Step Guide to Self-Publishing a Middle Grade Adventure Book

It can be so exciting to share your story with the world! While everyone’s writing journey is different and there’s no right way to seek publication, here’s a guide from middle grade author RJ Vantalos detailing the steps they took to get their novel published:

Back in November 2018, my writing partner (my fiance’s 11-year-old daughter!) and I wanted to craft a middle-grade fiction book during NaNoWriMo. We decided to write about a family that has magical powers that they use to save a romp of Sea Otters in Monterey Bay. 

That NaNoWriMo journey created the first draft of the book we just self-published called The Magical Mystical Mirror under our pen name RJ Vantalos. Why a pen name?

As artists, we want to focus on our art and write some great stories together. RJ Vantalos gives us the space to collaborate as co-authors in this adventure series under a single banner, without blurring the lines with other aspects of our respective lives. Besides, RJ Vantalos is just an awesome pen name and was begging to be put to use.

We wanted to share how we did it so that if you might have a book you want to self-publish, you’ll at least have one experience to guide you.

Know Your Genre and What Readers Expect

At the time, we wanted to write a middle-grade story that had some roots in our lives. Since we take trips to Monterey Bay often (at least before COVID), we decided to make that the setting of our story.

Since one of us is a middle-schooler who loves both Scooby-Doo and Nancy Drew, it was decided that she would guide what a middle-grade reader might want to read about. This was invaluable and allowed us to fill in a lot of the story as we took our trips to Monterey Bay Aquarium, Mission Carmel, and Cannery Row.

We also knew that we wanted to have some magic, mystery, and a “crime” to solve. That led us down the path of Fantasy/Adventure that’s a cross between Scooby-Doo and Harry Potter.

What this also did was make us realize that we needed to have illustrations for the book. The middle-grade chapter books we are fond of, such as Boxcar Children, Nancy Drew, to name a few, all had illustrations. 

So the first step in our process (after we finished our Draft 0 during NaNoWriMo in 2019) was to find an illustrator. You can skip that if you don’t need them. 

Step 1: Find an Illustrator

We needed to have illustrations for the cover and beginning of each chapter. That was an essential part of what a middle-grade chapter book must provide for the reader. We worked with a local San Francisco artist named Julia Geller who writes books as well.

We had to make sure that our draft was not going to change too much since the illustrations will be based on what’s in each chapter. That’s why we needed to make sure it all made sense. This brings us to step 2.

Step 2: Have Friends and Family Read It

Thankfully, we have a wide variety of friends and family in our target reader group, so they served as our “beta readers.” This is an essential part of creating a story that works for your readers. As we had them read the close to final drafts, we got a lot of great advice on how to refine the story. This refining process is a good way to know when you’re ready to hire an editor.

Step 3: Hire an Editor

Hiring an editor is a great way to ensure that your final book makes sense and does not have typos. Since we already had the structure of the book nailed down, we only needed to hire a line editor as opposed to a structural editor.

For what, we used Kerrie McLoughlin, who not only is a great copy editor but also has kids in our age demographic. Win and double win! 

Step 3b: Rounds of Editing

Editing a book is such an art and it’s also something that feels like it’s never done. After we got the edits from Kerrie, we went through them to make sure they worked from our perspective. Even after that, we got others to look at it just to make sure.

If you don’t have someone awesome like Kerrie, there is a marketplace for editors on Reedsy.

Step 4: Create a Cover

Julia also did the cover illustrations for the book but not the cover. For that, we used 100covers. At first, you might be tempted to try and do a cover or use an automatic cover generator from one of the self-publishing tools (more on that later). We’d recommend against that. 

One thing we found is that automatically generated covers tend to be a little off and that makes the paperback look a little weird. For eBooks, that’s not as true. We’d say experiment with it and see how it looks. The beauty of self-publishing is that you control the process and can iterate over and over again. Which we did.

One upside with having 100covers do your cover is that we got a lot of marketing images to use as well since we picked that package.

Step 5: Format the Inside of the Book

Since we have images in our book, we hired Formatted Books to do both the paperback and the eBook. This worked out extremely well. At first, we tried to use the Reedsy formatting tool to create the print version. This did an okay job.

The problem was with the images and how we wanted them to look. We wanted the images to be above the first page of the chapter. The Reedsy tool did this but not on all of the chapters.

If you have a book that is not image-heavy (or no images at all), then you could save a bit of money on formatting. Again, play around with it and see how it turns out.

Step 6: Setup the Book on Blurb

We used Blurb.com as our “publisher” for the print version. It’s an easy site to use and also allows independent bookstores to order books as well. This was an important part of our promotion plan. We LOVE independent book stores and want all our friends and family to be able to buy them there.

Of course, with Blurb, they can also buy it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble if they so choose.

NaNoWriMo Young Writers Program participants also get a special Blurb discount by using the code YWP30

Step 6b: Setup the eBook on Kobo

Blurb.com does offer eBook distribution but you have to create an eBook from your print book pdf. This did not work out for us.

The formatting of The Magical Mystical Mirror turned out awful when we ran it through Blurb’s converter. It also gave us an error that we could not use the font that was in the print version. That was the main reason the formatting went wrong. When the tool tried to swap the fonts, everything went sideways. That’s why we went with Kobo.

Kobo.com allowed us to upload the eBook we got as part of the package from Formatted Books. This worked out awesome.

Kobo is easy to use and is a great way to sell the eBook (and audio if we had one) all over the world. We first heard of Kobo from Joanna Penn, whose podcast and books on self-publishing we relied on for help and guidance. She’s even done NaNoWriMo several times!

Step 7: Review Print & eBook

We did several rounds of galley copies of the print book to double and triple-check it. A galley copy is what publishers call the first book(s) “off the press” that is used for final checks.

We did find a couple of typos and mistakes in the galley copies that we had to feedback to Formatted Books. It’s hard to find every typo or misspelled word when looking at an electronic copy. We’d highly recommend getting a couple of galley copies to look at before officially hitting publish.

Step 8: Hit Publish!

On both Blurb and Kobo, you can keep your book in “draft” while you’re reviewing all the versions. You’ll also have to set pricing for all of your versions and if you’re selling to bookstores, the discounted price. Both tools have good guidance on this and we would recommend looks at “comps” in your genre. “Comps” are books that are similar to yours.

Congratulations! You just self-published your book. Have a party to celebrate while you think about how to promote your book.

The Promotion Plan

We love independent books stores and a big concern of ours was whether or not they could carry our book. Thankfully, if you use Blurb, they can.

Our promotion plan is centered around local independent bookstores and creating demand for the book via friends and family. Of course, writing a blog post on NaNoWriMo does not hurt either!

Research All Your Local Bookstores

We used bookweb.org to find our local books stores. This only works for U.S. based bookstores. They have a great search feature that gives you a URL for the search results. This URL is what we’re going to email to all our friends and family along with instructions on what to tell them.

We know this is a bit “old school” but it’s important to us that we try and promote our local independent bookstores to help our local economy. We’re not sure how successful it will be yet but it’s worth a try.

Thanks for Reading This Far

If you made it this far, thanks for reading our journey to self-publishing The Magical Mystical Mirror. It was a lot of work but also a lot of fun. There is something magical about seeing and feeling a book you worked on. For us, it’s a matter of pride and a job well done that we had an idea and it’s now a reality.

If you’d like to read The Magical Mystical Mirror, why not try and pick it up at your local independent bookstore. The ISBN number is 978-1034384199. Tell them RJ sent you! If you’d like the eBook version, then try Kobo.

RJ Vantalos is the pen name of the collaboration between an entrepreneur and his fiance's middle-schooler daughter who one day said "why don't you write books for kids?" So we did! RJ wants all young writers, their friends, and their adults to create more together. It's through creation that we can all learn more about each other and thrive. RJ lives in San Francisco, CA.

#nanowrimo #writing #amwriting #ywp #young writers program #now what #publishing #self-publishing #by nano guest #rj vantalos