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#and he ends up doing a lot more vocals when he falls in love with you
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Hello, I'm the one who requested the Freminent and accidentally forgotten Zhongli with a S/o who has cute aggression towards them. If there is no issue could you also do the same for Zhongli, it's okay if not btw. (Also I loved the original with just Fremi)
hi hi! i'm glad to see you came back :D sorry for the wait, i usually end up writing late at night so i apologize for missing him the first time, here he is now though! i hope you enjoy :3c
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Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including obsessive behavior, mentions of starting forest fires, mentions of destroying cities, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!
Zhongli has seen a lot in his many, many years but this was… well this behavior was rather new to him. He had heard often the great lengths one would go to show their love and devotion to him back when he was still the Geo Archon, but to have his darling say they’d set all of Sumeru on fire was startling.
It isn’t to say he doesn’t like it, he’s quite flattered by it all, but you can expect constant reassurance from him that you aren’t actually going to do this. You- you wouldn’t actually start a forest fire, would you? Zhongli needs that little reminder every so often that you aren’t actually plotting such things, just using them as examples for expressing your intense feelings towards him.
Wanting to share in this cute behavior of yours, Zhongli starts vocalizing his love and affection for you as well. Instead of mimicking your cute aggression though, he uses historical quotes and references. You don’t always get them, but the delighted smile on his face whenever he says them to you, following your cute aggression comments is enough to have you falling in love with them anyways.
“I love you so much I could knock down all of Liyue with my bare hands.” Zhongli smiles at your comment, an adoring look on his face as his hands come up to gently cup yours. His thumbs brush over your cheeks, a shimmer of love in his eyes as he stares at you.
“Hear my soul speak. Of the very instant that I saw you, Did my heart fly at your service.” Zhongli’s words are smooth, falling from his lips in the same poetic manner they were written and memorized. Loving you comes easy to him, something that seems ingrained in his being as much as breathing has become. You make him feel human, make him feel like he can be soft and tender like one. Around you, Zhongli feels like he can love.
A lot of times his quotes sorta go over your head and that’s ok, he’s happy to repeat them as many times as you need or to sit down and explain what they mean to you. It just gives him a reason to spend even more time with you, something of which he adores.
If you ever showed deeper interest in any of his expressions of love, do know he would be more than happy to share whatever literature he found them in. Going through old books, reading and acting out long-forgotten plays, what was once a key token of history that now sits dusty on the shelves, he adores doing it all with you. Zhongli is such a hopeless romantic when it comes to you, he just adores you so much and cannot stand to ever be apart from you for long.
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kingkatsuki · 1 year
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Drummer Bakugou who usually writes songs for his band mates to sing as he sits behind the kit, drumming out the hard and heavy beat. But when he falls in love with you he starts writing softer, sweeter songs (even though some still have that heavy beat) and the first time he ever sings properly instead of being backing vocals is the first song he ever wrote about falling in love with you.
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bigfatbimbo · 3 months
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on my knees begging for some Lucifer smut. Hes such a dork I need him biblically 😭
OMG LITERALLY SAME I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I WANNA EAT HIM UP 🫶🫶
anyways i’m obsessed with him so i’m gonna do nsfw hcs and a little drabble at the end bc bestie i need him too
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art by hellpple_hz on twitters
❀˖° So let me just say, if been a long time since he’s gotten laid so he’s probably so nervous about it.
❀˖° I could see him being a switch but never really a hard dom, more of a sevice top. Like when he tops it would be all about your needs.
❀˖° He definitely loves, probably prefers, when you take control and treat him. He loves feeling cared for it’s so sad.
❀˖° Has a huge praise kink, giving and receiving. He just likes to know he’s doing well. 
❀˖° “good boy” “pretty boy” “pretty baby” are his favorites because he really wants to feel appreciated by you.
❀˖° If you call him on of those during sex he’ll probably whine on the spot because he’s just pathetic like that.
❀˖° Intimacy while doing it is a must. Like please hold his hand when you tell him you’re close. He wants to feel as connected to you as possible.
❀˖° I’m pretty sure Lilith canonically pegged him so… yeah he’s very into that. Being fully taken care of by you while you’re fucking your strap into him.
❀˖° He’s the king of hell and he’s probably very stressed all the time so not having to think or make decisions would make him very happy.
❀˖° When he tops, I feel like he also praises you a lot. I also don’t see him being too dominate and rough.
❀˖° His style is definitely more gentle and caring as he fucks you. He fucks you like you’re made of porcelain, not wanting to break you and only wanting to let you know how perfect you are.
❀˖° I don’t think he’s extremely kinky but I do think he’s SUPER VOCAL. Have you heard his voice? he just sounds like he whines.
❀˖° If you praise him too much he probably tears up under all the attention. Lovingly fucking him and telling him he’s perfect? He will actually cry.
❀˖° When he goes into subspace he’s actually so cute. He just begs you to tell him how well he’s doing and that you love him. To the point where he doesn’t even understand anything else if it’s not praise.
❀˖° Also very sweet during aftercare! Definitely makes breakfast for you the morning after.
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“Just like that baby, you’re doing so good for me,” you cooed as you rode lucifer into what be another orgasm of the night. 
“My love, nngh, please,” he whimpered and threw his head back. His face was puffy from crying and his hair was in shambles from all the attention.
“So pretty like this, sweetheart. So pretty, letting me use you as a toy,” you smile as he lets out a broken whimper from the praise. 
A tear rolls down his cheek and he lets out a soft whine when you roll your hips and pick up the pace. 
You lean forward and breathe into his neck, “you’re doing amazing, Luci, you’re taking it so well.”
He half sobs and arches his back. You pepper kisses all over his tear-covered as your hands lovingly trace his body.
“Please…” he whispers pathetically, squeezing his eyes shut.
“Please what, baby?” You say sweetly as you continue to milk him dry with your pussy.
“Please,” his brows furrow tightly as if he’s trying to remember how to speak under all the pleasure, “please let me cum.”
You smile and ride him faster, starting to loose composure yourself now. 
“Whenever you want, Luci,” you sigh and let your head fall slightly back as you feel your own climax approaching.
Lucifer whined loudly and bucked his hips up into your cunt. 
“My love, nngh,” he moaned uselessly as his eyes filled with more tears. You picked up the pace and Lucifer arched into your touch, chasing his orgasm.
“Good boy, making me feel so good, baby.”
That was his breaking point. With your climax following soon after, he moaned loudly, finally releasing and falling back onto the mattress, chest heaving. 
“Oh my goodness,” he panted, “Th-thank you, my love.” He shut his eyes and softly smiled, exhaustion finally setting in.
“You did amazing,” you say softly, leaning down to kiss his cheek before picking yourself up off of his overstimulated cock.
His eyes fluttered open slightly when he felt your hand slowly tracing down to the base of his cock.
“But we’re not done yet.” 
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a/n: real men say ‘oh my goodness’ after an orgasm
remember that
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reiderwriter · 19 days
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Hello!I hope you are having a great day!I love LOVE your writing and I would like to request a fanfiction where the reader is Hotch's daughter who works at the bau and is in a secret relationship with spencer without her dad knowing.Spencer wants to tell the team but she is scared about how they'll react so they fight but during a case she gets kidnapped and the feelings are high,so spencer accidentally reveals the relationship.I would love if it ended in smut (possibly dom!spencer who is angry at her for being so reckless and risking her life like that) and maybe a lot of angst??Hotch could potentially be fuming but when they get her back he decides that he will let them be??I would like my emoji to be 🌼!Thank you in advance and if you write this I would absolutely LOVE to read it!🤍🤍
A/N: I love writing for a Hotchner Reader because the Hotch/Spencer parallels are so 😙👌 This was so fun to write!
Warnings: Smut/ Angst with a happy ending, Semi-public sex, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, case details, kidnapping, abuse, strangulation, mentions of child death/ allusions towards pedophilia etc, Hotch is a somewhat shitty/overprotective dad/boss.
Masterlist!
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Falling back into a hotel bed that wasn't yours, you wrapped your legs around Spencer Reid as he furiously worked open the buttons of your shirt, his lips locked with yours in a furious exchange. 
“Spencer, Spencer, we can't-” You moaned as his lips fell down to your ear, a small tap to your thigh signalling that he wanted tour legs spread for him. Despite your vocal protests, you complied.
“Need to feel you,” he groaned, nipping and sucking his way down your chest as his big hands began pushing your skirt up and your panties down. 
“Spencer, someone will hear.” 
“I don't care who hears,” he whispered, finally ridding you of the last piece of material covering your wet sex. “I just want to make you feel good.”
His lips fell to your cunt, falling on your cunt as he began his ministrations. You loved this, the feeling of him near, his lips on you, his tongue teasing out whimper, then moan, then a scream of his name as you came undone on his lips. But that wasn't a chance you could take today. 
“He's in the next room, Spencer. Fuck, he's going to hear us.” 
You wouldn't push him off, enjoying too much the feeling of your building pleasure, so appealing to your boyfriend to do the right thing was your last resort as your hips bucked into his face, chasing your orgasm. 
He didn't stop, but held your hips down, thrusting his tongue in and out of you as his fingers came up to tease your clit. 
“Spencer, fuck-” you slapped a hand over your mouth as you shuddered below him, finally reaching your climax. 
Your hands fell limp as he worked you through the end of your orgasm before rising up to lay beside you on the bed. 
“I wish you wouldn't push it, Spencer. You're a dead man if he catches us like this.” 
“Hotch won't kill me just because I'm dating his daughter. I don't understand why you don't want to tell people.” 
You ran your hands through your hair in frustration. It was a conversation you'd been back and forward on a lot in the past six months. 
Dating a coworker was tricky, doubly so when your coworker’s boss - and your boss - was your overprotective father. Things only became more complicated when you factored in a ten year age gap and the fact that your father refused to view you as an adult, even when you were a fully qualified member of his own team. 
You'd had to fight for acceptance into the FBI and go above him to get the job on his team, a decision that he still berated you for to this day. But you'd had enough of him shielding you from reality, and it was a step you needed to take. 
Falling in love with Spencer Reid, though, that was just pure bad luck. 
You weren't sure how it had taken you until joining the team to meet the man, but you sure were glad he hadn't been introduced earlier. You'd joined the team at 24, having been in grad school until your FBI Academy application was approved, and somehow in the 10 years before that Spencer had worked under your father, you'd never crossed paths.
Of course, you knew who he was before that from context and conversations with your father, and of course, he figured out who you were quickly based on the many arguments you'd had in Hotch’s office. But that hadn't stopped you from repeatedly falling into his bed month after month, and then falling in love with him. 
Your relationship was more than the sex, but it was also a lot of sex. From the stories you'd heard, and from the look of him, you'd assumed that Spencer was a delicate little flower, an innocent in the bedroom as much as any 34 year old man could be. 
And then you'd both been offered spiked drinks at a holiday party courtesy of Penelope Garcia, and he'd proved you deliriously wrong. He'd been hooked from then on, and after waking up awkwardly in his bed the next morning to two cups of coffee and a spread of breakfast pastries he'd gone out to specifically pick up for you, you'd been hooked on him as well. 
The only problem was Hotch. 
You certainly weren't winning any daughter of the year awards already with the stunt you pulled to get on the BAU, but you didn't want to be completely and totally disowned just yet. 
“Hotch won't kill you for dating his daughter, you're right,” you mumbled back to Spencer rolling yourself back on top of him and pinning his arms down so his fingers couldn't tease you any further. 
“Thank you, now if you trust me, I've ran like four different scenarios in my head so-” 
“He'd definitely fire us both, though. And that's worse than death.”
“Y/N….” 
“Tell me I'm wrong, please. Back up your findings with empirical evidence. He doesn't want me on the team, Spencer. He doesn't even want me in the FBI. I think he'd be happy enough to ship me out of the country, too, if that helped.”
Spencer sighed and tugged your hair behind your ear as he gestured for you to sit up. 
“I know it's scary. But I love you. I don't care about the consequences because I'll still love you before and after telling him.”
“And during?” 
“I might freak out a bit, but deep down, the love will be there still.”
You hit him with a pillow and climbed off the bed. 
“Okay, get out now. I'll think about it but you really can't stay here tonight.” He nodded, grabbing his things and pulling his clothes back into place. 
“So, like we're totally done for tonight? Nothing else.”
“Spencer! Out!” You whisper-shouted the words and watched him turn your door handle as slowly as possible before he waved his goodbye and left your room. 
12 hours later, you were once again getting frustrated with Spencer Reid. And Aaron Hotchner. They may soon be enemies, but goddamn they were perfect for each other in some ways. 
“Hotch, you can't just give me nothing to do. Send me to the morgue with Rossi, or let me interview family members with Tara. I'm a member of this team, too, so let me do my job.” 
“You'll do well to remember that I'm your boss, Y/N.”
“You're acting more like my dad right now. A boss would utilize his team members.” 
You'd been stuck in this stale mate since the morning, and Reid hadn't helped at all. When giving out assignments that morning, you'd not been notably left out of crime scene investigation, suspect interrogation, and anything helpful. Reid usually asked for your assistance at times like these, but he was finally putting his money where his mouth was and keeping distance from you in the office.
So far, you'd ran coffees back and forth between the kitchen and work room and had been communicating back and forth with JJ and Derek in the field and Garcia back at Quantico. 
You'd been, for lack of better comparison, relegated to receptionist. 
“At least let me work on the geographical profile with Reid-” 
“Absolutely not.” 
You stiffened at the reaction, wondering just exactly why he would react so strongly. Spencer had snuck in a few secret kisses here and there this morning, though you'd been sure that you'd had no witnesses. 
“Why not?” 
“I don't want you to distract him.”
Bile settled in the back of your throat as you tried your best to bite your tongue and keep the bitter words in. 
“You know, sometimes, Dad, it feels like you love everyone on this team more than you love me.” 
He locked eyes with you quickly, but he glance was dismissive and stern, almost as if he was asking you ‘seriously.’ 
You turned on your heels and began to walk out before he called out from behind you again. 
“Y/N,” you stopped despite yourself. 
“Leave the gun and badge on the desk. We'll discuss this after the case is closed.”
You almost laughed. You almost blurted out your relationship with Spencer just to spite him. You followed his order and took yourself out of the office for some fresh air, finally giving him what he wanted. 
An hour of aimlessly wandering down the street, and you turned into a run-down park. 16 missed calls from Spencer and other members of the team, who'd no doubt watched you turn in your badge. 
Garcia had even called a few times, and you felt guilty for not forwarding her calls somewhere else, knowing she'd probably have key case information for someone. 
But you just couldn't handle it anymore, so you switched it off, pushed it back into your pocket, and kept walking. 
It was two more blocks before the man following you pushed a soaked rag over your mouth and nose and pushed your unconscious body into the back of a waiting van. 
×××××
Two hours of near constant complaining to Hotch had gotten Spencer nowhere in his demands to know just where you went. 
He'd called you 36 times since Hotch had told him you'd left, and he hadn't stopped freaking out since. 
“But where did she go?” 
“I sent her back to the motel.” 
“All of our cars, bar the one JJ and Morgan took to the crime scene, are outside and accounted for. The motel is a 34-minute drive away. It'll take her 5 hours on foot through our unsubs hunting grounds, and I'm not sure if you've noticed, but she matches the victim profile we just gave. Where is she?” 
A muscle in Hotch's jaw twitched, but neither of them moved, eyes locked in battle to see who would back down first.
A call from Penelope ended whatever disaster was storming between them. 
“Hotch hey, I can't get in contact with mini-Hotch, so here I am. Morgan called earlier from the crime scene. From the way they're posed, he said they could be possible stand-ins for a lost child  a daughter or a sister, so I cross checked the ownership of the vehicles that run with the tires we found prints of at the scene, and I got a name. Like one.”
“Great work, Penelope, send it over.” 
Hotch dropped the call and looked back up at Spencer, readying himself to give orders and push the issue. 
Again, their standoff was interrupted. 
“Hotch,” JJ rushed in, carrying a radio dispatcher, face white, and filled with worry. “You need to hear this.”
“Witness reported an abduction on East and 7th, patrol surveyed the scene and found a cellphone. Identifying information suggests it belongs to a Y/N Hotchner. We're bringing it into the stat-” 
Hotch stood so fast his chair almost crashed to the floor. He stood so fast that he barely had time to dodge the lunge Spencer took in his direction, fist pulled back. It would connect, given the chance  he knew it would. He'd been the one to teach Spencer to throw a punch in the first place. 
Morgan insinuated himself between the two men before, and blood could be shed, quickly pulling Spencer back as Rossi, too, rushed into the room to diffuse the situation. 
“One hour. I've been asking you for one hour where she went, and you wouldn't answer me. You made her leave her gun behind.” 
It wasn't exactly a shout, but there was something broken in his voice, as of his mouth had filled with blood and he could only spit hate at a man who'd been a mentor to him until seconds before. 
“If she's hurt- fuck, if even a hair on her head is out of place, I'll-” 
“What, Spencer? What will you do? She's my daughter. What could you do that-”
“She's my girlfriend! She's my girlfriend, she's the love of my life. God, I want to marry her, I have the ring, I have the proposal planned, all that was left was telling you and then asking her, but you've been such a dick to her about this job, and about cases, and God knows what else, that she doesn't want to say anything to you, and now you've driven her away and she's fucking gone. And she could be hurt or in danger or d-de…” 
He crumpled to the floor, Morgan still holding him as his legs gave way beneath him. 
Nobody moved for what felt like hours, still in their grief, shock, some just nervous to see what would happen next. 
“You've been in this situation before, Hotch. So have I. It's …. It hasn't ended well for us before.” 
The words were so final, so defeated that they sucked the air out of the room.
“Morgan,” Hotch started quietly, eyes still locked with Reid's, still staring down the reflection of his own despair.
“Get Garcia back on the line, I want confirmation that the vehicle that picked Y/N up is the same one that our unsub has been using to set up crime scenes. See if she can lift a name and an address. Rossi, if he's skilled enough to pick up an FBI Agent unaware, we need a SWAT team, get one on standby.”
Slowly growing in volume, he continued, as the room started moving at his signal. 
“JJ, Tara, take over where Reid left off with the geographical profile. Look at Y/N's last known location and how far a car could've gotten in the last 24 minutes.” 
He paused again, staring Reid down. 
“Reid, you're with me.” 
xxxxx
It took you a few seconds to gain a sense of your surroundings when you came to. Partially because of the drug induced migraine splitting your head, and partially because of the mess of ribbons and stuffed toys you'd woken up in. 
A change of clothes, and hands tied to what seemed to be a children's bed and you felt so grossly vulnerable your body shook with a few harsh sobs before you regained your composure and remembered your training. 
The knots on the rope holding your hands were tight. There wasn't much room to move with them pinned above your head, but you recognised them as naval knots. Your unsub had experience at sea, recreational or professional you'd yet to determine. 
Looking around again, you looked for entries and exits, wanting to know how the unsub would come in again and how you could get out. 
There were no windows, but a set of stairs leading up towards a solid door told you that you'd been locked inside a basement. A basement decorated similarly to a child's bedroom. 
Dimly lit by a mass of fairy lights, the room seemed covered head to toe in teddy bears, dolls, and children's books, a sturdy handmade doll’s house standing in the corner of the room. 
Faintly, you heard the creaking of floorboards above you before the handle of the basement door rattled and more light poured in. 
“I bought you breakfast, cupcake.” 
There was no time to feign unconsciousness again as your captor finally came into view. 
He was older than middle-aged, slightly wider around the midsection than you assumed he'd been in his youth. His hair was closely cropped and laid neatly, leading you to suspect he was former military. 
“Oh, good, you're awake. What do you want to do today, cupcake? Daddy has some time off now, I can play with you all you want.” 
You moved slowly, pushing yourself up to a seated position so you could bend your arms a bit. But you didn't look away, needing to keep him in your line of sight the entire time.
“Where am I?” You asked slowly, trying to keep your voice steady. 
“Wow, you must've had a deep sleep cupcake. You're in your bedroom, silly!”
The man's sprightly tone was disconcerting, and you could see a muscle in his forehead twitch slightly as you spoke. 
“O-of course. My mistake. Maybe I'm just still tired.”
He laid the tray on the bedside table and sat on the bed next to you. You tried your best not to shy from his touch as he stroked your hair, but every muscle in your body tensed and pulled from him reflexively. 
A quick glance to the tray and you saw the food he'd brought you was a small cup of pills and a glass of water to rinse them down with. 
If he noticed your flinch, he said nothing, grabbing a hairbrush from the nightstand and beginning to comb through your hair slowly and deliberately, taking care like one would a daughter. 
“Daddy,” you took a chance, recalling the name he'd given himself earlier. “Can we play outside today? I want to go to the park.” 
He stopped moving, and you held your breath as his smile dropped. 
“No, sweetie. You know we don't go to parks.” 
“Why not? I really want to play there, Daddy, please!”
In seconds, his hands wrapped around your throat as he pushed you back down into the bed, holding you there with his tight, suffocating grip. 
“Shut the fuck up you little slut. I said we don't go to parks, you listen. I am your father, you are not being taken by one of those sick freaks again.” 
He released you as quick as he grabbed you and stood up, pacing as he attempted to regain composure. 
“You can draw or we can have a tea party but you know we can't go out. You know that cupcake, I've told you so many times.” 
He grabbed at his hair, pulling it from its carefully styled arrangement into a mess, his fingers leaving red marks against his white skin as he pushed and pulled his head. 
He breathed deeply, and you sat up, trying to regain your composure as you watched him lose his. 
“What was her name?” You whispered, half hoping he would hear you, half praying that he'd ignore you for the sake of his fantasy. 
“W-What?” 
“Your daughter. What was her name?” 
He focused on you again, but his hands - hands that you knew could and would choke the life out of you if you did something wrong again - his hands were shaking. 
You heard the floorboards creaking upstairs and decided to push your questioning, hoping it meant what you thought it did. 
“Why are you saying it like that, ‘was?’ Is. Her name is, your name is Laura, and you're my little cupcake.” 
“What happened to her?” You filled your voice with as much sympathy and understanding as you could muster, one eye on the basement door that was being slowly pushed open. One look at Morgan at the top of the stairs had your heart rate slowing to a calmer speed. You locked eyes with him for a second, halting him, and he nodded, waiting for your signal. 
“You, you're my cupcake, you look just like… She should look just like you.” 
The man sat on the bed again, stroking a hair out of your eye as his filled with tears. 
“Fifteen years. I looked for her for fifteen years, you know. If I hadn't taken her to that park-” 
“That must have been hard.” 
He nodded as he broke down in silent sobs. 
“They said… they said she probably died a day or two after we lost her. When they found her, she was…” he rested his head on your shoulder, let him cling to you as he mourned his daughter. 
“We couldn't identify her, but she had that teddy with her. The teddy with the cupcake in its hands. She never went anywhere without it. So we…we knew.
You looked at Morgan as he slowly made his descent into the room, closely followed by JJ. 
The man looked up into your eyes again, wiping the tears from his face. 
“She was only 8.” He looked defeated, and your heart broke for him, even as you wished to get as far away from him as you could physically muster. 
Morgan pulled him up and away from you as he secured the man with handcuffs, but his eyes remained locked on you. 
JJ untied you and guided you out, but you felt his gaze bite into you ever after you'd left the basement. 
As soon as you were above ground, you let your body divest itself of adrenaline, your legs buckling as JJ tried to catch you. Another set of arms was quicker, though, and you didn't even register Spencer's arrival before burying your head in his chest and letting your sobs escape you. 
He guided you to your feet and walked you out to the ambulance, his arms protectively wrapped around you, his lips peppering kisses along your hairline and forehead, anywhere he could reach. In moments, you were bundled into the ambulance, and three gentle voices were trying to calm you, to pry you away from your comfort doll.
You wondered if you'd die like the unsubs daughter had, if they'd find you clinging to Spencer the way she had to her teddy bear.
“Y/N,” your father's deep voice was clear and smooth, the only thing that was cutting through the wretched moment of pain you were enduring. 
You remembered yourself again, relinquishing your grip on Spencer and wiping the tears from your face as you finally looked towards Aaron Hotchner. 
The paramedics took their chance and began checking your vitals, working around you in a hurry. 
“Dad, I'm sorry, I was walking and didn't notice that he was behind me, I should've been more careful-”
“Y/N, it’s okay. You're okay now.” 
You nodded as he came closer. You ignored the tears in his eyes, trying not to break down again. It had been an age since you'd last witnessed him cry, at another crime scene with another family member and another unsub. You couldn't think about how close you'd come to making him relive his worst nightmare. 
Spencer's hand was still firm in yours, and you held it like a lifeline, though you were sure your nails had to be cutting him by now. It took another moment to register that he was holding onto you just as hard, that he was unmoving, still where he was usually a series of compulsive moments, tapping, hand wringing, fists clenching and releasing. 
You glanced between the men, who had now become quiet as they surveyed you, and noticed the tension. Before you could say anything, though, the paramedics took over. 
“We're going to get you to the hospital now, Agent, one coworker can accompany you in the vehicle, preferably one with knowledge of your medical history.”
Both men immediately moved forward again, as if ready to jump into the van, before turning again to each other. 
“Shit,” you mumbled to yourself just as the buzzing in your head from the migraine grew louder. 
“Y/N, it's your choice. Who do you want to come?” Spencer said gently, his body still stiff with worry. 
“I'm her father. This isn't a question of who she likes better.”
“I have her medical records memorized, and I have more knowledge about the drugs the unsub gave her, but Y/N can choose for herself because she is a grown woman.”
You sighed and dropped the man's hand as the medics ushered you into the van fully, but the men were fully absorbed in their fight for dominance that they barely registered it. 
“JJ. JJ is coming with me,” You could see both of them turn back to you to argue, but you continued before they could. “Because I am a grown adult who knows her own medical history, and I don't need my father and my… coworker having territory wars over my wellbeing.” 
And possibly because she'd be the least awkward option to answer the questions about sexual activity and possibility of pregnancy around, but you really did not need to vocalize that. 
“Right now, I'm just a victim you've saved. Go and do your jobs and meet me at the hospital later because I am not doing overtime completing paperwork while on suspension.” 
JJ climbed up into the ambulance and the doors shut, letting you finally get a few moments peace as it began slowly making its way to whatever hospital was closest. 
“He knows, right?” You asked, covering your eyes with your hands as you braved for the answer. 
“Hotch? You could say that he figured it out.” 
“That bad?” 
“Spencer threw a punch at him. He tried to at least.” 
“What?!” Your body shot up, but the paramedic gently forced you back into a laid position, giving you a warning look to stay put as she checked your blood pressure. 
“Don't be too hard on him, Y/N. He thought he was going to lose you. They both did. I don't think either of them would survive it happening again.” 
The guilt hit you right in the chest as you nodded and dropped the conversation. 
“Maybe I should've let Spencer come with me.” 
“Why?” JJ asked, not offended bit curious. 
“Because I'm not entirely sure my father won't throw that punch back at him now he knows I'm okay. It's hard being in a relationship if one of you is dead.” 
The older woman chuckled slightly, and you settled back down, letting the car movements rock you into sleep. 
xxxxx
A few hours later and some quietly bickering voices pulled you from the rest you'd so sorely needed. Without even opening your eyes, you knew they'd both subtly scrambled to your bed to make sure you were comfortable. 
“What are you talking about?” You asked, wiping your eyes carefully as you tried to sit up, arms still aching from being tied up. 
“Oh shit-” you exclaimed after seeing your boyfriends freshly split lip. 
“Dad, what the fuck?” 
“Y/N, it's fine. It doesn't hurt.” 
“Aaron Hotchner, do you have nothing to say for yourself?” You tried to put all of tour anger into the words as you said them, bit he looked at you again with his straight face, and you crumpled under the pressure. 
“I won't…I'm not going to object. I just ask you to keep your private life separate from your work.” 
“And you're going to punch my boyfriend while I'm unconscious, so I can't defend him.” 
“I'm still your father, and he deserved it.” 
You looked back over to Spencer, who was quite notably not meeting your eyes. 
“Do I want to know?” 
“I'm leaving now. Jack will be here soon. He wants to check on you now that school is over. We told him you were hurt trying to save a sick man.” 
“Thank you, dad.” 
He nodded at you and left you alone in your hospital room with Spencer. 
“Why did you deserve it?” You whisper shouted the moment you assumed he was out of earshot. 
“The doctor came in and asked about some old bruises on your upper thighs. And ass. And chest. I had to admit they weren't sustained during the kidnapping, and Hotch wasn't pleased.” 
You huffed out a sound halfway between incredulous and a strangled moan of shame as you curcled yourself up into a ball and tried your best to die. 
“Great. Wonderful.”
“If it makes you feel any better, he thought it was signs of domestic violence and not just rough...sex.” 
“Yes, Spencer, that makes me feel entirely more comfortable with the situation.” 
Registering the sarcasm in your voice, he quieted down again, settling into the chair by your bedside and grabbing your hand. 
You sat silently together for a few minutes before either of you said anything. 
“I'm sorry. I know you didn't want him to find out.” 
“Spencer, you don't have to apologise. All things considered, this is possibly the best way he could've found out.”
“My busted lip suggests otherwise, I think.” 
“And a whole lot more would've been busted if he caught us any other time. Besides, I already lost my job, so there's not much else at stake anymore.” 
The words stung you as you said them, but you did still feel the weight of your dismissal in your chest, spreading miserably through your bones. 
“Does your head still hurt?”
“Not really, why?”
“You're not as perceptive as you usually are.”
You shot him a confused look as he smiled softly down at you, offering a nod towards the small coffee table under the window of your hospital room. 
There on your table sat your creds and your gun. The silent acknowledgement you'd been waiting for from your father. 
Spencer sat by you as you did your best to hold off the tears. He let you pretend there was something in your eye, let you wonder if your eyes had become watery because of dust from the basement. He quietly held your hand as you grinned and grinned until you pulled him in for a kiss and held him close to you. 
His lips were soft as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down on top of you even as he tried to hold himself up and off you so he didn't hurt you. 
“You know,” you said, punctuating each word with another sweet kiss. “This means- that- you're- stuck- with- me.” 
He laughed into your final kiss, finally pulling back for more air, studying your face as if he were trying to memorize it. 
“That was never the issue.” 
“Oh really, and what was?”
He kissed your again, slow and deep this time, taking his time working his hands down from your hair to your neck to cup your face so you were opened up to him, letting his lips and tongue explore everything he wanted to. He pulled away eventually and instinctively your lips tried to chase his, even as he pulled out of reach. 
“Making sure you stayed by my side.” 
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satoruhour · 7 months
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T!!! do you ever wonder what it’s like to lose your virginity to Gojo? personally, I think he’d be so sweet but he’d tease here and there just to make you cry a little 😋
a/n: fem!reader, discussions of losing virginity (both you & gojo), oral f! receiving, fingering, p -> v sex, praise and soft dom dynamics, protected sex, aftercare
losing v-card w/ gojo i think would be def sweet !!! ok for me theres like two versions: the ver where youre both virgins and losing it to each other and the other where u are the virgin. i would think gojo as a virgin is cute and clueless, but he learns fast enough, BUT when its the two of you being virgins it’s just so adorable bc you guys are still new to this and intimacy feels so weird and stuff. you bump heads the first time you try to kiss, gojo isnt sure what to do past making out
you figure it out together, you both have weird perceptions of what sex was bc you heard it from your friend and gojo sometimes watches p*rn but it doesnt rlly have that same kick. he also doesnt want to hurt you. virgin gojo gasps at everything lol when u first remove ur shirt and he sees your breasts. gasp. removes ur pants and sees u in underwear. gasp. pulls your underwear away from you. loudest gasp known to man. 
compliments you a lot, but sometimes he uses the terms in a weird way “you have such… symmetrical labia, babe!” like WHAT. ? its endearing that hes trying his hardest but also … 😭dude. like i said he learns fast enough but in the dynamic where u are both losing the v-card to each other you two are a lot more reserved and nervous! lots of mistakes, mishaps, you thought u could suck dick but you gagged and you had to take a min against his thigh to just rest. you two talked like his dick wasnt in ur hand the whole time 😭😭 it was funny
even with the penetrative sex, gojo bought like flavoured lube and ate a bit just to try it and youre panicking when he tips his head back and squeezes the lube into his mouth HELPPP like yes its safe to put in ur mouth just … dont. clumsy and a whiner, cums really fast into the condom and pouts when it ends like bitch u didnt even make me cum yet ! apologises profusely and proceeds to eat u out like you deserve. this second time is infinitely better hes getting good!!
okay virgin reader on the other hand .. yes! he would be so sweet (my fav), and be a soft dom but his playful antics and comments sometimes catch you off guard. a lot of dirty talk to ease into it and a lot of praise but also he emphasises for you to tell him if anything hurts or if youre not feeling it any more. is very skillful with his hands and makes you beg long before the real thing
“my hands feel nice, yeah?” as he’s kissing down your body and his hands wander, they stay above the water for quite a while, just feeling you up but once youre comfy youre nodding to him and he says “i need a verbal yes, darling”LIKE STOPPP BEFORE I FALL IN LOVE W U … he cares about ur consent and being vocal in what you want. hums a lot when he sees u in all your glory, smiling to himself when ur shirt first comes off and your perky tits are just begging to be played with. takes his time, a lot of body worship!!! says stuff like “dont be shy, i dont bite.. unless you want me to” to tease you but is so gentle w/ your body
makes u cum first on his tongue too, like at least thrice for u to know what you like in bed, but also to show u that your partner’s pleasure always comes first in the case for guys bc if ure not worshipping and groaning abt ur girls pussy .. what r u even doing atp? is pretty lenient when giving you oral with u as a virgin, doesnt want to overwhelm you so his ministrations are slow. hes also still getting to know your body, what makes u cum and the sensitive parts on ur body, “oh…? you like it when i do that?”, “does my sweetness like my fingers in her?”, “pussy looks so perfect, doing so well” is pretty goofy for your first time, sometimes cracking jokes in between too.
also deprives u of ur orgasm just to see how youd react to it since its ur first time and will apologise with kisses. u wouldnt put it past him to do it again when ure more familiar tho but since this is an introduction to ur body of some sorts he’ll be nice <3 doesnt let u suck him off on the first, always, he’s prioritising you
talks you through as he slips in. before when he was hooking up and fucking around he never liked to fuck people who are virgins just cause he doesnt like to see the pain on their face. it hurts, a lot, you have to admit, and gojo lets you take all the time in the world to scratch at his back, hold onto his arms, breathing with you as he inserts his cock inch by inch. satoru on the other hand is.. going insane by his standards. u just feel so warm and tight inside he has to do everything not to slam into you, and while he hates that the tears at the corner of ur eyes was bc of him, he’s desperate to see you crying in pleasure next time
“that’s it, baby, you need to breathe.”, “bottomin’ out soon, you okay?”, “good job, sweets, you took all of me!” does the jokes even thru penetrative sex just to see you laugh. the first thrusts r also pretty painful or rather uncomfortable, gojo kisses you to distract you from the pain when his hips move, “it’ll lessen soon okay? you’ll be moaning soon enough” you trust gojo, nodding into the kiss before your pussy’s pretty much accustomed to his dick in you and the pleasure settles in and hes all “there we go…” hes grinning so largely it scares you a little but his hips pick up pace just a bit more and youre having the time of your life. praise praise praise !!! so much of it. you’re cumming soon enough and gojo tries to memorise the way ur pussy feel bc he doesnt want to push u past ur limit, but is surprised after when you change positions and start riding him, hiding your shy face in his neck
teehee. it takes a while to get better ofc, gojo is rlly big that u still need time to adjust but that first time will always stick w you bc of how caring he was 💟 did aftercare like a pro too, cleaned you up in his bathroom, washed your hair and let you wash his body, wiggled his eyebrows and teased you about having shower sex, lots of kissing in the shower and everything was very soft. u slept like a baby that night
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diorcities · 11 months
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⠀   ⠀ ── ₍̫̫ᵔ ˲  ̫ ˱ ᵔ₎ ̫̫ vocals & other shenanigans !
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nct dream headcanon. warning: smut.
for mark, regular missionary is a must. he likes to watch your body under him, look how the gravity and the motion of his thrusts make your tits bounce. he sometimes overstim himself; he just doesn't want this intimate moment to end, so he'd elongate it until he ends up crying. a lot of “shit, baby” and drawn-out moans. eyes tightly close at times when his cock starts to ache, wanting to nut. he pants a lot when he does it, probably likes it messy too. he'd cum everywhere.
pretty high-pitch whines for renjun. not very vocal, he only likes to hum when he eats you and form an o with his puffy lips when you ride him. he'd be in subspace most of the time, but he wouldn't admit it out loud. hisses when he's about to cum as he shivers because he runs out of energy. half strangle and restrained “oh's” when you suck him. will order you to show him his seed on your tongue before you swallow it. poor thing has to fall asleep right after.
jeno gets too caught up in the moment. he'd be like a wild beast, grunting and hissing. a prominent vein showing on his neck would tell you how rougher he wants to be with you. likes reverse cowgirl because then he can see how it goes in and out, watching your grip on his cock. he can last all night until you're more than satisfied. if you suck him he won't last long tho. he likes to do all the work, so you just have to lay there and be a pretty pillow princess.
mating press is haechan's favorite position. he has a thing for pinning you down while he fucks you. likes riding in equal proportion, or not; it is unknown. into angry sex because he has a degradation kink, so he whines a lot if you're mean to him. “f—fucks-too much.” & “feels so good...”. he'll be pretty chill about it but will use his strength to make you roll your hips faster when he's about to cum.
jaemin's a certified brat tamer. he can be a little mean sometimes, so he probably would edge you. “oh my.” and other variations with his languid voice and throaty moans. he will stop from time to time so you can fuck yourself against him. “just like that, pretty girl.”. his favorite positions are doggy style and big spoon. also likes fingering so he can smell you later on the day on his fingers.
once you let chenle know you actually love when he moans he'll do it from now on. any position where he can see your ass, probably riding with a mirror in front of him. likes to bite any reachable place in the heat of the moment. “fuck, just like that.” he'd let you do all the work because he's somehow tired, all the time, although he'll be controlling your hips and picking the pace when you ride him. would suggest recording while fucking.
jisung would make the prettiest collar with his hands around your neck. he has a thing for choking you while he plows you, keeping you restrained. the prettiest moans ever; some sort of smooth long-drown whimpers. probably says “shit” but lengthening the vowel so it sounds like a hiss. he likes hand jobs over blow jobs. doesn't last long if you look him in the eyes while he fucks you against the mattress.
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yandere-writer-momo · 5 months
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I had this idea in my head but I just couldn’t type it into a story. Chances are it be well near 15k word or more. So enjoy this super depressing head canon/ short story creation!!
Yandere Baki Shorts: One More Time
Biscuit Oliva x Afab Reader x Regretful Yandere Reverse Harem (Baki, Jack, Hanayama, and Katsumi)
TW: Angst and mentions of emotional neglect
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(Your name) is Tokugawa’s granddaughter so everyone tolerated her excessive kindness since they did not want to upset Tokugawa. Though it was no secret he was indifferent to her and often ignored her in favor of the fighters of his tournament. She gave a lot of her nuturing love because she wanted nothing more in the world than to be loved in return. Sadly these men were emotionally constipated so they did not understand her affection and unknowingly took her for granted… she had an inkling that they did not like her but she still tried to cheer them up and encourage them to keep pushing through… despite no one doing the same for her (not even her grandfather)
Hanayama ignored her whenever she made an attempt to speak to him, Katsumi was always ‘too busy’ to spend time with her, Baki complained about Kozue all the time to her and would cut her off every time she spoke, and Jack was just mean. Jack was the most vocal of his distaste for her…
- Jack was the one who pushed her off the deep end. She visited him since he wasn’t at the Baki and Yujiro fight to check on him. And she offers him words of encouragement and support but he shut her down by saying, “Of course I’d get sympathy from someone as pathetic as you. Can’t you get the hint that no one wants you around? Why don’t you just do everyone a favor and disappear.”
She felt her entire world fall apart around her but she just asked Jack if she can just sit beside him for five more minutes and then she’ll never appear again. That she will disappear from his and everyone’s life if he just let her sit beside him for a few minutes. Jack relented so she rested her head on his large arm. He was disgusted by her touch but if it meant she’d leave him alone, then he would do it. Jack had no idea she simply wished for comfort since he himself had never experienced comfort (despite her constant attempts to comfort him since she felt he was the most traumatized).
After the promised five minutes passed, she rushed out of his apartment in tears. She ended up leaving her jacket behind since Jack had cried on it (she used it to cover his face since he didn’t want her to see him cry). He sighed in relief and gets back to watching the fight he believes should have been him
(Your name) was there for everyone in her free time. She was there for Hanayama when his mother died, she was the mediator between Baki and Kozue when they argued, she sat beside Katsumi while he was in the hospital, and she was at the hospital with Jack and even pitched in for some of his hospital bills since he sustained so many injuries… she was a very nurturing light but they didn’t appreciate her. No one cared about her.
None of them ever celebrated her birthday with her and they didn’t visit her in the hospital when she was sick. They didn’t know her favorite food or color. They didn’t know her favorite restaurant or her nervous ticks. They hardly responded to her texts if at all… (your name) was so lonely it wasn’t even funny.
So she decided to go to the family’s rumored well for a wish. An old wishing well from an old scroll she found hidden within a secret wall of the Tokugawa estate. It was written by one of the first relatives who wished for the Tokugawa family to become wealthy. Btu there was a price to pay… but it’s blurred out. Regardless of the unknown danger, (your name) travels up the mountain alone with the old map in hand… to make a wish.
Rather than wish for something selfish, she wishes for her friends- no the people she cared about, to have all their desires come true, but in exchange, she offered the spirit in the well her life. She’s never been touched, she’s still pure. (Your name) could be of value, right? But the spirit pitied her so they had her disappear from the Japan for five years... they wanted her tormentors to suffer the heart ache she had for the rest of their lives
The baki men all have their dreams come true… Shinshinkai dojo became world renowned for the best karate, Hanayama was successful as the leader to his family, Baki became the strongest creature in the world, and Jack defeated his father … but they were without her love and affection for five years… they missed her. They don’t feel like they deserved the success because she wasn’t there to cheer them all on. It all felt empty without the unwavering support of the bubbly (your name). They went insane in their search for her but she disappeared without a trace…
Baki often found himself glance at the stands after a fight in hopes he’d hear (your name)‘s voice cheer for him and sing his praises. That she would run over to him to check his wounds and treat him to dinner. He swore he would thank her this time and he’d give her some compliments himself. He had seen some pictures of her and had forgotten how pretty she was…
Katsumi would often unconsciously reach for a bento box on the bench he usually sat on at the dojo. He missed (your name)’s cheery smile as she handed him a home cooked meal. He swore he would make time for her if she asked to hang out with him. Katsumi would take her to every restaurant and fun date spot she wanted to try if she came back through the Shinshinkai’s doors. Katsumi would spend his time researching date spots in hopes of her sudden return. He wanted to make up for all the broken promises he’s made to her over the years…
Hanayama often found himself glance at the door in hopes she would come in and ask to walk through his rose garden with him. He made sure to add an extra chair in his office so she could sit beside him and talk to him as he worked. Hanayama swore he would listen to her her this time.
Jack is the most distraught. He was the last to ever see her and he still had her jacket… he felt so guilty. He hadn’t moved out his dinky apartment in hopes she would walk through his door again and ask to sit beside him. That she would want to share a meal with him and rest her head on his arm. Jack would do anything for her to come back… she was the only one who wasn’t afraid of him. Jack would give her the effort she deserved if she came back to him
Her memories of her so called ‘friends’ are wiped. She can no longer remember any of them or much about her life at the Tokugawa estate. The spirit sent her off to America where she comes to be under the care of a lonely Biscuit Oliva who had lost Maria. He’s instantly taken with her and he helps her since she seems so lost… he was lost too. And they found each other.
She spent five years by Biscuit’s side, where he spoiled her rotten. She was granted her true wish of being loved the way she deserved. Her true wish was granted and the Baki men paid the price.
Biscuit and her have a beautiful relationship. He talks with her and he listens to her. He remembered every small detail she shared about herself, even ones she did not verbally share. He’s so considerate of her and he helps her build self esteem. Biscuit constantly made time for her and always put his best efforts into making her happy. And Biscuit never stopped giving her compliments about her appearance or of a task she completed that she felt was minuscule. Biscuit claimed everything she did was perfect to him and he’d never change a thing about her. She often found herself crying here and there for no reason… like there was a part of her that finally started to heal
Five years later and Baki went to see Biscuit to challenge him for a fight out of boredom. Baki is shocked to hear such a familiar laugh and he runs into Biscuit’s room to find (your name) and Biscuit enjoying a meal together. She looked so beautiful in her designer dress… like a princess from a fairytale… but she had always been a princess now that Baki thought about it
Baki immediately collapsed in front of her and hugged her knees while he sobbed. He told her how much he and the others have missed her. How they were so sorry for the way they treated her, that she could come home… but she had no idea who he was… she didn’t know him. She didn’t remember him and it sent Baki spiraling. Baki is insistent that she’ll remember if she returned to Japan but she declined his offer. She told him that despite not knowing him, she was happy that his dreams came true
Baki refused to leave the Arizona prison until she returned back with him. She said she would so long as Biscuit can come with her. Baki is so thrilled… but the other men are much worse than Baki. So much worse.
When she arrived at the Tokugawa estate, Katsumi is the first to run to her and pull her into a hug. He’s bawling his eyes out as he hed her body as close to his body as he could. He babbled about his accomplishments and how he wished she was there to see them… that she belonged by his side. She just awkwardly pushed him away and apologized to him because she had no idea who he was. Katsumi went silent in disbelief and at first had thought it was a joke… but Baki frowned at him.
Baki explained to the other martial artists that (your name) completely lost her memories. They don’t believe him at first. Especially Katsumi who kept bringing up memories he had of her being at every tournament and by his side in the hospital. He convinced himself she was in love with him. (Delulu isn’t the solulu)
Hanyama just stared at her while she held Biscuit’s hand for comfort. He’s consumed with jealousy (on the inside) when he saw the way she looked at Biscuit… she used to look at him like that.
Hanayama quietly shared how the last five years of his life was without her and of his feelings for her… Hanayama admitted that he couldn’t date or sleep with anyone since she haunted his dreams since her disappearance. Hanayama kept his rose garden beautiful all year round since she loved it so much. Kaoru wanted to walk through the garden with her and pluck roses with her so she could display them in the compound… Hanayama even had a bench placed in the spot she’d always kneel in the grass in… he would be better for her if she came back to him… Hanayama would marry her on the spot
Hanayama offered her a lot of power, pleasure, and luxuries if she returned to his side but she politely turned him down. (He continued to bring it up whenever Katsumi or Baki weren’t speaking… it was so awkward)
Katsumi then spoke up about the last five years without her and about the true love he held for her. Katsumi admitted he searched for her face in the stands every time he had a tournament and he’d search for her when he was training people at the dojo. He never gave up his search for her. He felt awful for not making time for her and all the broken promises he made. Katsumi vowed to make as much time for her as she wanted if she just returned to his side… Katsumi swore that he would be an amazing husband to her. That he wanted to start a family with her and build her dream house… Katsumi poured his heart out to her with a pink blush on his cheeks. He sounded like he was sharing a dream that would never be in reach (delusional mf)
Baki then shared the last five years without (your name).. Baki and Kozue finally broke up for good a few years back due to their differences. Baki didn’t have the (your name) to help him make up with Kozue or to be his voice of reason. He didn’t have the (your name) to make sure he ate or that he rested enough. He didn’t have her compliment him or congratulate him anymore… he missed her motherly affection. He missed someone being proud of him. Baki rested his head on her lap while (your name) sits beside Biscuit. He kept trying to get her to rub her fingers through his hair but she swatted his hands away
Jack remained silent the entire time. He’s trying his best to remain calm but he looked angry… and he is. He’s so upset that she had been fine this entire time and she hadn’t came back to see him… he doesn’t believe she lost her memories because she’s so scared of him. She was never scared of him before… he wants to talk to her alone. His eyes don’t leave her the entire time while he clenched his jaw
Tokugawa brought up how she was always there for all the men in the room and how everyone had missed her so much but not a single person brought up any memories where one of them had been there for her… she asked if any of them knew her birthday and none of them knew. They were ‘so close’ to her but didn’t even know her birthday…
Biscuit pitched in and shared the date and the exact time of her birthday. The older man gave her a big smile before he began to list off her favorite color, food, and her hobbies. He shared all her quirks and her interests. It touched her heart… Biscuit knew everything about her which caused her to burst into tears .
The men all try to hand her handkerchiefs but she rejected them (she accepted Biscuit’s). She can’t explain to them why she started to cry, but she tells everyone that something within her was so happy… that Biscuit made her so happy.
(Your name) sadly had no desire to get to know any of the guys again because she’s happy with Biscuit. She tells them all that she’s happy they achieved their goals and that she’s proud of them but she no longer has a desire to be a part of their lives. Memories or not, from the way they talked about her, it seemed like she was the one who put in all the effort. Not a single one of them brought up a memory in which they did something for her… and that made her sad. Perhaps it was better she didn’t remember any of them
They cannot accept her rejection. Baki and Katsumi begin to beg and bargain. While Hanayama threatened her family (Tokugawa), but Biscuit held her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He began to try to take her away but Baki blocked the exit. He’s frantic and his eyes are crazy. He began to beg her not to disappear again. “I don’t want to live in a world where you aren’t there… I can’t do it again. Please stay.”
She tells him, “Perhaps that was the kind of world I lived in… a world where no one cared about me until I disappeared. Please live a good life and don’t forget to take care of yourself, Baki.”
Baki broke down and that’s when Jack rushed forward and grabbed her. He hurriedly brought her to the garden at the Tokugawa estate at an inhuman speed while the others all chased after him (especially Oliva)
Jack began to scream at her once they were far enough from everyone. He’s yelling on the top of his lungs while his face turned red and tears all from his cognac eyes. He finally fell apart in front of her after he tried to hold himself together for all these years.
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“You do remember! Stop lying… you know who I am and that’s why you can’t look me in the face because you remember our last conversation all those years ago…”
“I swear I don’t remember-“
“You’ve never been scared of me before!” Jack screamed, the blonde ran his large hand through his short blonde locks. Jack tried to reel himself in but the emotions broke through the dam he held together for the last five years. “You’ve never looked at me like I’m a monster!”
(Your name) flinched at his sharp tone, her eyes wide in shock when Jack suddenly fell to his knees and held her hands. The blonde placed his jaw in her hands while he cried. The shouts of the others can be heard as they make their way towards the two of them. Yet it felt like it was only Jack and her left in the world in this very moment.
“I’m sorry! I-I didn’t mean to tell you to disappear!” Everyone froze in shock when they make it to the outer perimeter of the garden. Their mouths open like a fish out of water at what Jack admitted… he was the reason? He was the reason she disappeared? “I didn’t… I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
(Your name) squirmed when Jack pressed his lips to her hand in a way to apologize. She didn’t know why, but she needed to leave. She wanted to get away from him because he was scaring her. But his iron grip on her hands prevented her from escape.
“You can hit me… you can do whatever you want to me so long as you come back to me. I won’t be mean to you ever again.” Jack whispered into the palms of her hands as he guided her right hand to cup his scarred cheek. “You can sit beside me as much as you like. You can wear my jacket on your head when you need to cry and you can share meals with me. W-we can go for hikes together and you can sit on my back when I do pushups. I’ll do anything for you to be by my side and to not look at me like that.”
(Your name) can only stand there in shock as the giant man before her now appeared to be more like a lost child eager for love than a man… it broke her heart but he wasn’t her responsibility. If he was the reason why she lost her memories in the first place then he deserved her forgiveness the least.
And that’s when all the memories flooded in. The loneliness. The heart break. The broken promises. The constant rejection. She lived such a pathetic life before she was granted a second chance… these men didn’t deserve her. They never did.
“Jack?” Jack perked up at his name, his breath hitched as he clung to the sound of his name leaving her lips for the first time in years. He missed when she spoke his name. To him, she was meant to speak his name… she was his.
“Yes?”
“Do me a favor and forget about me.” Jack felt himself shatter at her words, the blonde now her her hands tightly to his face. His breathing now erratic.
“What?” Jack was in disbelief. He didn’t hear that right… this wasn’t his (your name). There was no way his sweet (your name) would tell him to forget her. She would never reject him. “I didn’t catch that.”
“Forget about me. Treat me as if I never existed.” (Your name) repeated as she tried to move her hands off his face. “You don’t need to have someone as pathetic as me beside you.”
No… no. No. No. No. No. No. She was supposed to forgive him. She was supposed to kiss his scarred cheeks while she happily accepted his apology with tears of joy in her eyes. (Your name) should know he never apologized and that he truly sought forgiveness.
(You name) snapped her hands out of his hold and turned on her heel to leave. She ignored the men who had once constantly let her down now try to gain her affection. She didn’t need these people. She didn’t need empty promises and sweet words… (your name) just needed her lover, Biscuit Oliva.
“I want to go home.” (Your name) told Biscuit with a smile. She took his large hand in her small one and gave it a squeeze.
“Of course, dear. We can do anything you want.” (Your name) rested her head on Biscuit’s arm as he lead her out of the estate. She ignored the screams of her name and the loud begging of Katsumi and Baki.
They never turned their heads for her when she begged for love and when she’d ask to spend time with them… why should she turn hers?
(Your name) finally had the love she always wanted while they had fulfilled their goals… how could they be so selfish to want more?
“(Your name)! Please stay in Japan! We can get married and I’ll take you on dates every weekend!” Baki shouted while Katsumi tried to one up him.
“I’ll take you out everyday and we can get married as soon as tomorrow!”
“I’ll give you the world if you turn around and come to me right this moment.” Hanayama piped up from behind her. “If you don’t turn around, then the Tokugawa family will be no more.”
Tokugawa began to shout out to the granddaughter he neglected for years in favor of these men who didn’t value him. “Please don’t let him do that. You love your grandpa, don’t you? You can be the heir to the Tokugawa family!”
Poor Jack remained on his knees in the garden. His brown eyes dull as he watched her leave with Biscuit without so much as a glance behind her.
For the first time in five years, Jack and the others have suffered a true defeat. All they wanted was one more time.
Just one more time and they’d make it all right… for they could not accept that they already wasted so many chances to make things right due to their own selfishness. They had lost the one love of their lives forever.
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bobohu4eva · 3 months
Text
Illicit Affairs
Characters: Idol!Baekhyun x trainee/idol!Reader
Genre: smut, angst
Warnings: explicit unprotected sex, virgin sex, significant age gap, problematic relationship dynamics, this is purely a work of fiction and in no way representative of a healthy relationship
WC: 9.7k (trust me it needed to be that long)
A/N: Heavily inspired by the song, although the forbidden nature of the relationship is interpreted more as dealing with the age difference and dynamic, rather than being a result of infidelity. I definitely recommend giving it a listen before reading further.
Masterlist
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He was one of the last people you met after becoming a trainee, but he was the one you'd been thinking about meeting the most. 
Baekhyun was the reason you decided to become a singer. He was the person that made you fall in love with music and singing ten years ago, so when you finally bumped into him in person, it left you breathless and flustered. 
He was even more gorgeous than you could've expected, and you'd already met many other idols by then. You'd been waiting for your vocal lesson one evening, and he was the person who went right before you. When his lesson ended, he walked out of the soundproof room, and he was standing right in front of you. 
The image of him you'd always had in your mind, based on the countless pictures and videos you'd seen of him throughout the years, couldn't compare at all. With him directly before you, in person, he looked so much better than you ever could've imagined. He was just wearing a black tshirt and sweats, no makeup, hair unstyled and even a bit messy, but you still had to fight off the urge to stare. He was quite a bit taller than you, and you could see the muscle definition in his chest and arms under the plain black shirt. Everything about him was just so perfectly shaped, to you. From his familiar but still somehow surprisingly handsome face, to his broad shoulders, down to his waist and hips. If you found him attractive before meeting him in person, you were down badly now. 
It was so natural and sweet how he greeted you, asking if you were new, and wishing you the best for your trainee journey. Of course you thanked him, but he could easily see how much the sudden meeting had shaken you up, so he kept it brief. 
From then on, you saw him there every week before your lesson, and found yourself looking forward to it every time. The greetings became short conversations, and eventually you even told him how he'd been the one to inspire you back in the day to also be a singer and eventually audition. You would never forget how those words made his face light up. 
“Really? Back then I had no idea what I was doing, I'm still surprised by how much people seemed to like me. It means a lot to hear that.” 
He had one of those special kinds of smiles that you only see a few times in your life. It made you feel seen, appreciated, like to him, you were the only other person that mattered. He had that kind of energy about him. 
All you could think to do was blush and smile back. Being around him was almost like some sort of high to you, the way your heart pounded and you got butterflies in your stomach.   
Finally your voice teacher popped his head out the door, clearing his throat. “Sorry, I've got a bit of a cold. We'll keep it short today.” 
Without missing a beat, Baekhyun spoke up. “If you need to take the night off I can take over her lesson.” He turned towards you, “Would you be okay with that?” 
Your eyes grew wide and your mouth opened slightly, but no words came out, so you just nodded. 
“You sure?” The teacher said, “That would be great, thank you.” 
“Of course, it's already pretty late, you should get some rest.” 
So, you were left with Baekhyun teaching your lesson for the evening. You were still dumbfounded as he led you back into the small soundproof room, and asked what you had learned in last week's lesson. 
You answered him, though it was barely above a whisper. Having him teaching you all of the sudden was not something you were mentally prepared for. 
However he still understood, and started leading you through some warm ups.
To say that you were blushing, embarrassed, mortified, or anything similar still felt like an understatement. Warm ups just aren't cute.They felt silly and sounded dumb and the idea of doing them in front of Baekhyun of all people made you want to curl up into a tiny ball and become one with the carpet on the floor. 
Of course Baekhyun quickly caught on to that. “How about we do them together? I'll start, and you just match me, ok?”  
His voice concealed your own enough to ease your mind a bit, but soon he was asking you to sing on your own, without his voice to hide behind. 
You could barely get out a sound, let alone properly sing a simple scale. It was frustrating beyond belief, you knew you were a good singer, and you were incredibly lucky to have him offer to teach you, but your shyness still got the best of you. Trying to do anything while his eyes were on you felt impossible. 
Baekhyun was starting to regret offering to do the lesson, not because he didn't want to, but because he felt he was making you uncomfortable. He loved the idea of mentoring a trainee, helping them develop their skills and getting to see them debut with his encouragement, it had even been a dream of his. Of course this was only one vocal lesson, but it was something he'd been thinking about for a while, and this seemed like a great opportunity, at least at first. But he knew he couldn't force it, and he didn't want to hold you back either.
“I'm sorry, I didn't really think this through. Should we call it a night?” He asked, and you felt your heart sink. The disappointment evident on your face must've told him that you weren't quite ready to give up yet, so he made you an offer. 
“What if I face the wall, and you close your eyes, just imagine I'm not here and you're practicing by yourself. Just so I can hear you and get a better idea for what we should work on.”
You took a deep breath. He was just another person, and he was here because he wanted to help you. 
When you nodded, he smiled, ready to give it your best shot before he turned away, facing the corner of the room. 
It actually came out sounding okay that time, so you repeated it again for good measure. 
When you opened your eyes Baekhyun was looking your way again, with a proud smile on his face.
He had you repeat it a few more times, reassuring you every time that you were doing well, and for you, just seeing him smiling and praising you was enough to keep you going. 
With you finally past your mental block, he was able to get an idea of where you were at, and both of you were surprised to see how quickly two hours went by. He still kept things simple, not wanting to overwhelm you or make you shy again, but it was going amazingly well and he found himself almost as excited about it as you, if not even more. 
With the lesson finally over, he offered to drive you back to your dorm on his way home, and you happily accepted. When he led you to his car, a silver Porsche, you let out a small laugh in disbelief. Baekhyun just smiled, making a little extra show out of opening the door for you, before circling around to get in himself. You stayed quiet, just listening to him softly sing along to the music he'd put on until it was time for him to drop you off. Part of you was still in disbelief, that you'd really spent the last few hours with him, and now, you were next to him in his car as he drove you home. When he pulled up to your dorm, he wished you a good night, and didn't move until he saw you enter the building safely. As you laid in bed that night you replayed it all in your mind, smiling like a fool at how heart fluttering it all was. For the first time, you couldn’t fall asleep because your reality was somehow even better than what you could dream up. 
One week later, when you arrived for your lesson again, you were surprised when Baekhyun and your original teacher said they wanted to discuss something with you. 
“How would you feel about having your vocal lessons with me from now on?” Baekhyun asked. 
They saw the surprise on your face, your first teacher nodding at what Baekhyun had said. 
“Wow, I mean, are you sure? It's an honor, of course, but, why..?” 
“Teaching is something I've been thinking a lot about lately and I really enjoyed our lesson last week. It's up to you, of course, but if you'd be interested then I'd love to be your new voice teacher.” 
You laughed, mostly in disbelief. It felt too good to be true. Baekhyun was someone you'd looked up to for so long, and now he was happily offering to personally help you with your singing. 
“You really mean that?” 
He was still smiling in that almost frustratingly captivating way, nodding at your question. “So should we get started?” 
Unlike the week prior you had a bit more confidence this time around, and both you and him thoroughly enjoyed the lesson. Every week that followed your voice grew even bolder, as you got more used to being around him. You got less nervous to see him, moreso happy and excited to get to sing with him, and having him as your teacher made you all the more dedicated to doing your absolute best. 
Soon you started to ask him about other things, too. First it was dancing, asking his advice for how to memorize choreographies more easily. Then, how to talk to the media, or how to pose for photo shoots. Within a few months Baekhyun was much more than just the voice teacher you saw once a week. He helped you with basically every aspect of becoming a successful idol, he became a mentor to you. 
You could never fully get used to it, to having him in your life in such a close way. Your heart would still flutter when he showed you that amazing smile of his, and you still refused to slack off on your vocals or dancing, because you wanted to impress him, but mostly because you’d get to see that very smile. He was every bit as lovely and charming as you’d always imagined he would be, and you fell hard for him, he made it impossible for you not to. With how sweet he was to you, it sometimes seemed like he might actually like you, as more than a student, but those were thoughts you pushed away, knowing realistically that a relationship with him was nothing more than a fantasy. 
It was only six months into being a trainee that you were told you would debut, and you knew that you had him to thank for it. Another few months later the day came, and it was time for you to perform with your group for the first time. 
As soon as you stepped off stage, out of the view of the cameras, you lost it. The tears weren't because you felt sad or disappointed, simply overwhelmed. You knew you'd done well, really well in fact. Your career had officially begun, and the weight of it came down on you all at once, leaving you with little to do but sit in your dressing room in disbelief.
There was a soft knock on the door, and next thing you knew Baekhyun’s head was peeking in, and you weren't sure you'd ever seen him smile that big before. 
Without as much as a second of hesitation, you ran to the door, pulling him inside. As the door shut behind him, his arms wrapped around you.
His praises almost went unheard, still too overwhelmed by everything to fully listen to what he was saying, but you could tell he was happy, that he thought you'd done really well. 
It wasn't long until his arms broke away, hands still on your shoulders as he looked at you, smiling that amazing smile of his. With him looking at you like that, telling you how well you'd done, how proud he was, how happy he was to be your mentor, your emotions ran wild. It was everything, the adrenaline, relief, euphoria, and just him. 
His eyes were still on your teary ones, admiring you, a little overwhelmed himself. Seeing you finally debut after the months he'd spent with you, singing together, dancing, doing everything he could to make sure you were ready when the day came, got him a little teary eyed, too. You'd done so well, and he felt so lucky to have gotten to be there by your side for all of it. 
“I'm so proud of you.” He said, his hands moving down from your shoulders, along your arms. His eyes held so much warmth behind them, the sweet words along with his hands on you, and the way he never took his eyes away from you, had you reeling, stomach doing flips. For a second you swore his face was getting closer to yours, and his eyes flickered down to your lips. The tension seemed so thick, it became unbearable. 
You threw your arms around him, and you kissed him.
At first he took a step back, stumbling a bit, too surprised to fully react. But before you had the chance to pull away, his hand was holding your face against his own, returning the same kind of passion you showed him.
Baekhyun, your endlessly kind, lovely, talented, handsome, funny, charming mentor, was kissing you back. With his free arm, he circled your waist and pulled you closer, flush with his chest. The hand on your face held you close so softly, asking, not demanding, for more contact, for this to not end so quickly. He gave you every chance to pull away, to stop him, but you didn't, you only melted into his affection even more. 
The knock on the door pulled you both rudely back to reality. Your lips parted, and as you stared at one another, what you'd just done started to sink in. Baekhyuns’ face fell in a way you’d never seen before, and then he was gone. He walked through the door with all the horror disgust he felt towards himself clearly evident and the knot in his stomach nearly made him sick. 
He knew he made a huge mistake. He fucked up so incredibly badly. 
You stood there stunned, a million things running through your head, and collapsed under the weight of it all. 
The stylist was confused to say the least after first witnessing Baekhyun’s swift exit and next finding you, sitting on the floor crying. Thankfully she excused herself and let you be.
Baekhyun kissed you, and then just walked out, leaving you alone and confused. The guilt nearly ate him alive. Returning your kiss crossed so many lines and he should've known better, and he did, but you caught him so off guard, in such an emotionally charged moment, it just happened. The sudden euphoria of realizing that you were kissing him overpowered any rational thought. He knew he must be insane. 
And of all days, it was the day of your debut.
He had to make this right. 
He returned to your waiting room but it was already empty. He kept walking around the building trying to find you, even running into your bandmates, but you were nowhere to be found. 
Then he tried calling you, but he was sent to voicemail after the first ring. You declined his call. Finally he texted you, although he really didn't want to have this conversation over text. He knew he needed to do a better job at apologizing than just sending a few texts 
“Can we please talk about this? I'm so sorry I just walked out, I wasn't thinking, I need to talk to you.” 
You didn't reply. 
The next day he called again, and still you didn't pick up. 
The truth was, you were too embarrassed. Seeing him again, after he'd rejected you like that, was just too mortifying to consider. You felt so stupid. Of course kissing him was an outrageously dumb thing to do. He was your mentor, of course anything romantic was off the table. But you had a crush, and the adrenaline, combined with how sweet he was to you, made you lose any sense of reason. 
Stupid little girl, kissing the man she never even had a chance with, because her emotions got the best of her. 
But then why did he kiss you back? 
That was what drove you insane. Of course you had a crush on him, it was painfully obvious from the first day you'd met him, but he'd always stayed professional, never giving you any reason to think that it was anything more than how a fan feels toward their idol, and that it ever would be. Unfortunately for you, your feelings towards him only got stronger over time. 
Baekhyun had convinced himself that it was a good thing you liked him, that with him as your mentor, you'd work that much harder. He thought it was cute, the same way he thought of other fans' attitudes towards him, during fansigns and the like. He hadn't considered that maybe he'd gotten a little too close with you, that those lines started to feel blurred. In reality, you weren't just another fan, you were far from it. You were a real friend, you knew him. 
It was easy for him to understand why you didn't want to see or talk to him after what happened. He knew he messed up, both when he kissed you back, and when he left the room. He couldn't even imagine what must've been going through your head. He hoped you weren't blaming yourself, sure you're an adult, but at ten whole years older than you, he knew he was the one responsible for making sure things stayed appropriate between you two, and he'd failed. 
To his relief, you still did amazing for the rest of the debut promotions. He watched every performance, wishing he could've been there to support you. 
Because of how busy you were you'd agreed a while ago to skip lessons for the first two weeks after debut, and as the days dragged on, Baekhyun was starting to worry that he wouldn't get to see you again for a lot longer than he'd like. He still knew he needed to apologize to you, and the longer you avoided him the guiltier he felt. 
When promotions ended and he still hadn't heard from you, he reached out to your manager, asking when you'd have time for a lesson again. 
She assured him that you'd be there next week at the same time and place as usual, and he breathed a sigh of relief. The days before the lesson dragged on for what felt like ages to him, but at least there was an end in sight. 
When the time finally came, you were mortified, almost as badly as the first day you'd met him, or during your first lesson together, maybe even worse. He greeted you just as warmly as he always did, emphasizing how well you'd done during all the performances, and how he wished he could've been there for you. He did everything he could to try and relieve some of the tension and awkwardness, but you weren't there yet. 
You were bright red, hating the unpleasant heat sweeping over you, burning your cheeks and making you uncomfortably sweaty. You couldn't talk to him, or even make eye contact, you were still too ashamed. 
“Y/n?” You saw in your peripheral how he looked at you, and your eyes started to water. “I need to apologize for what happened after the showcase, I'm so sorry, I never should've put you in that situation, or kissed you back, or just left like I did. I was being reckless and stupid, the fault is all mine, and I understand if not, but I really hope you can forgive me.” 
His heart sank when you started to cry, and although he'd told himself a million times that he wouldn't, that any physical contact with you was inappropriate, he still ended up holding you, giving you a shoulder to cry on. 
“I'm such a fucking idiot.” You eventually let out between sobs, and he detached himself from you, finally meeting your eyes. 
“Please don't say that, this is all on me. I'm the one who fucked up, not you.” 
“But I'm the one- I-”
“Because I was being inappropriate. Like I said, I shouldn't have put you in that situation, that was my mistake.”
“I'm just so embarrassed.” It came out barely above a whisper. 
“Nobody saw us, and I could never judge you for that. I know you just got caught up in the moment.” 
You did your best to smile and nod, but the tears just kept coming. His words were sweet but did little to mend the pain and shame you still felt. 
He wanted to reach out and wipe away your tears, to hold you, to comfort you as best he could, but he knew it would only worsen things. Once again, however, when you leaned into him for comfort, he let you do as you pleased, cursing himself for letting his very necessary boundaries slip away so easily. 
This was bad, he knew it was. He didn't have the strength to push you away though he really should've. If this was going to continue, he had to do better, but he was coming to terms with the fact that he just wasn't able to. 
He stayed holding you until the tears eventually slowed down, and came to a stop. Now that your face wasn't buried in his chest anymore, he shot you a soft smile. “Do you want to get to singing?” 
Finally, you let out a small laugh. “Do we have to? Can we just talk? I missed you.” 
He sighed, but nodded. He'd missed you too, but saying so didn't feel like a good idea. 
He kept the conversation light, trying to make you laugh, anything to brighten your mood, if only for a little while. When the end of the lesson came, he knew he was going to have to be the bearer of bad news. 
“Next week I promise we can actually sing again.” You told him as he led you to his car to bring you home. 
He took a few deep breaths, and you were on your way to your dorm when he finally replied. 
“I don't think it's a good idea for me to be mentoring you, or giving your lessons anymore.” 
“What?” 
He stopped at a red light, and the look of hurt and disappointment he saw when he looked over at you made his throat feel tight. 
“I'll talk to your original voice teacher, to see when he can fit you into his schedule again, now that you're getting more advanced it'll be better for you to train with him anyway.”
You felt your lip start to quiver again. “You just don't want to be around me anymore now, I get it.” You mumbled, trying to hide the shakiness in your voice. 
Baekhyun’s eyes squeezed shut for a second, “it's really not that, not at all.” 
He was pulling up to your dorm and you just wanted to get away from him now before he saw you start to cry again. “You don't have to keep lying to me, I know I'm the one who fucked everything up with that stupid kiss.” 
He parked, trying to think of how he could finally convince you that it wasn't your fault, but you were reaching for the door before he had the chance to say anything. 
“Y/n, wait, please-” 
You were already gone though, shutting the door behind you. As soon as you were outside of his car the tears came, and you tried to wipe them away as best you could as you hurried to your dorm. 
When you got to the elevator you prayed nobody would see you like this. You'd spent so much of the evening in tears, you knew you looked an absolute mess. You just wanted to get to your room where you could finally be alone and let it all out. 
“Y/n, wait!” 
You turned around, and there he was, jogging towards where you stood. Your stomach suddenly felt like it was in your throat, and then he was in front of you once again, this time taking both of your hands in his.
“I don't know what to tell you, for you to believe me, but it's not your fault, I swear. I- I don't want to stop teaching you either, really, but I can't keep being alone with you, not when I can't trust myself.” 
All you could do was stare back at him, knowing that you were a tearful mess. What he was telling you didn't make any sense in your mind. You kissed him. Not the other way around. 
“Please say something.” He was still panting a little as he said it, winded from having run after you. 
“What does that even m-mean, you can't trust yourself? I'm the one who kissed you, and I'm definitely not stupid enough to try that again, so what does it matter?” 
“I already told you, I shouldn't have put you, or us, in that situation in the first place.” 
“But that doesn't fucking matter! Who cares if we're alone, we've been alone for the last two hours and it was fine.” 
Only it really hadn't been fine, he knew that he shouldn't have been touching you at all.
You were staring back at him through tear filled eyes, and he felt absolutely terrible. He wanted to be able to comfort you, and eventually just gave in, throwing caution to the wind and wrapping his arms around you. 
He just didn't have it in him to stand and watch you cry, knowing that he was the reason. This time he felt the way you grabbed onto the back of his shirt, keeping him from moving away. 
“Please don't cry, I'm sorry, really, I just want what's best for you. We would still see each other occasionally around the company, it's not like this is goodbye forever.” 
“I- I don't want lessons with anyone else. You're the whole reason I was able to debut, you can't just leave me now. Please.” 
You were still holding onto him, and with every “please” you added, he was slipping. He hoped that you would eventually calm down, and he would be able to reason with you, to finally make you understand why he couldn't be around you so much anymore. 
He had no such luck. All you could think about was how badly you would miss him, how lost you would feel if he stopped mentoring you, the last few weeks had been bad enough already, the only thing that got you through without him was your embarrassment and how busy you'd been. You couldn't lose him, you needed him. 
Every minute that he listened to you cry because of him, he felt his rationality fade. As much as he knew he needed to distance himself, he wasn't going to do it if it hurt you that badly. 
You felt him take a deep breath, and finally, a soft “okay” fell from his lips. 
It wasn't until then that he felt your grip on him loosen, and you looked up at him. 
“What? Really?” You sniffled, face still wet. 
He nodded, running one hand through your hair, moving it from where it had started to stick to your face. 
Once again, your arms were thrown around him, but at least this time, it was because you were happy. You must've said thank you to him a million times that night, as you felt the relief wash over you. Baekhyun was all too aware of the way your chest pressed against his own. 
When he was finally free of your arms around him, you were beaming up at him, and he couldn't help but smile back. “You should get to your dorm before people start getting worried.” 
You nodded, pressing the button and hugging him one more time before the elevator arrived. 
“Bye” he waved, as you stepped inside and the doors started to shut “see you next week.” 
He knew he was in too deep, and he was a fool to give in to you, but now it was too late. He was going to have to live with his decision and try to keep things from going further, but he 
knew deep down that realistically, he didn’t have that kind of self control, not with you. 
~
Baekhyun hadn’t planned on seeing you again until the next lesson, but when your debut song entered the top ten on all the major charts just a few days later, he wanted to celebrate, and invited you to a nice dinner. That day you spent hours getting ready, putting on your favorite dress and making sure your hair and makeup were perfect. You knew that it wasn’t a date, but the way you felt leading up to him arriving could’ve fooled you. 
He picked you up and drove you to the restaurant, pulling up in the back where there was already somebody waiting to lead you to a private dining area where you’d be out of sight of the public. You hadn’t really thought about it, but you understood why it would probably be better for your dinner with him to stay between the two of you. 
It was the first time you’d been around him just to hang out, more as a friend than a student, and you thought it was magical. You were nervous at first, still having all of the past drama with him on your mind, but he was his usual wonderful self, easily leading the conversation, making you laugh until your stomach hurt, and he too felt it, how easy and right this was. You ended up at the restaurant with him for over two hours, neither of you wanting the night to end. Finally the awkward tension from the previous weeks was gone, replaced with optimism and gratitude for still having him in your life. 
When he finally dropped you off, he got out of the car to walk you inside, and you ended up alone with him, standing in front of the elevator once again. 
“Thank you for tonight,” You started, “everything still feels kind of surreal, I can’t believe this is actually my life now. And it’s all thanks to you.” 
“You always had it in you.” He said and smiled that lovely warm smile. You were about to press the button to take you upstairs, but he stopped you, looking around to make sure you were alone. “Wait- I know I tell you all the time that I’m proud of you and how far you’ve come, but I really can’t say it enough. I’m really lucky that I get to teach you. You have something special, truly.” 
You and him got stuck in a weird place, neither one talking, but not making any effort to leave either. The way he was looking at you pulled you in, and you thought you saw something flash across his face, something you hadn’t seen before. He stepped closer, close enough that you could feel his breath against your skin, and your heart rate skyrocketed, confused. He wasn’t sure what came over him, he must be insane. 
“Baekhyun?” You barely whispered, but he didn’t explain himself, instead he leaned in, and he kissed you. 
Your mind was going a million miles a minute and it made no sense to you whatsoever, but he was kissing you, softly, sweetly, like something out of one of the many day dreams you’d had about him. As quickly as it started he was pulling away again, his face tinted a deep shade of pink, smiling a bit bashfully at you, still too shocked to react. 
“Goodnight.” He whispered, and then he was walking back to his car. 
After that, things felt completely different with him. The hugs got longer, his words sweeter, and every time he dropped you off, he’d again kiss you goodnight. It wasn’t only after your weekly lessons together that he would drive you around either, you and him began to spend more and more time together, and had to get more and more cautious about not being seen. 
You would sneak out in big hoodies with a mask on to walk to where he was waiting in the parking lot, just to drive around all night with him in one of his fancy cars, talking, singing, and sometimes pulling off to the side of a quiet road where he would lean over and kiss you, though it never went any further. He knew that sneaking around with and kissing his student was bad enough, anything more, and in public, would be a whole different kind of stupid. 
Both of you started to lie a lot, to your managers, friends, anyone really who would question or even just ask about your relationship. To everyone else, he was still just your mentor, a strict student-teacher agreement and no more. The lying should’ve been your first clue as to how wrong it all was, but you were blinded by your feelings for him. Getting to be alone with him, kiss him, and talk to him about things no one else knew was too all consuming for you to even think twice about it.
How you talked to each other changed too. When you were alone with him he would call you baby, treating you less like a student, or even just a friend, and more as a lover. You should’ve been happy, thrilled, even, and you were when you were with him, but when he’d drop you off and you’d be alone in your dorm again, you’d break down.
The late nights together, the romance, the kisses, they were all wonderful in the moment, but afterwards you’d always part ways, realizing that it was all fleeting, that any relationship beyond what you already had with him was impossible, because no matter how you might feel about each other, you were still his student, and far too young to be involved with him in any deeper way. No number of kisses or secret rendezvous would make him yours, he made that clear. You would always end up alone in your dorm at the end of it all, crying, knowing it would never turn into anything more.
Seeing him during lessons was a different experience now. There would be other people around, and they didn’t think twice seeing you together, but you and Baekhyun would give each other knowing looks, or he’d wink at you, or something else to signify your little secret. You and him almost had a special secret language, joking with each other often with little more than a glance.
Even your manager didn’t know about you and him, she knew that he was mentoring you, but she’d known him for so long, she never even suspected that he might be acting inappropriately with you, he just didn’t seem like that kind of guy. 
The two of you had everyone fooled, and while it felt exciting on the surface, it also grew a new kind of shame within you, knowing that what you were doing was deeply wrong. 
What you had with him wasn’t real, and never should or could be, and it was starting to tear you apart. It took you weeks of working up the courage to do so, but finally, during a lesson, you decided you were going to confront him with all of it. 
“Can I ask you something?” 
Baekhyun shrugged. “Sure.” 
“But you have to promise you'll answer honestly!” 
“Okay! I promise.”
You took a deep breath. “What are we doing?” 
“What do you mean?” 
“You know exactly what I mean. The sneaking around, the kissing, what is that about?” 
He'd been perfectly relaxed, but you could see how he tensed up as he realized what you were talking about. 
“Y/n, I don't think it's a good idea for us to talk about that right now-” 
“You said you'd answer!” 
A long sigh left him, eyes squeezing shut for a second. “Okay, okay. I’m just doing what feels right. You know I like you, but you also know that we can’t just act like we’re together either.” 
“Why?” 
“You know why.” 
“Cause it’s inappropriate? We both know that this entire arrangement hasn't been appropriate since you decided to mentor me, knowing that I have a huge crush on you.” 
You wanted to finally hear it from him, wanted him to admit that he'd been just as irresponsible as you, and Baekhyun didn't say a word. It was the hard truth that he'd been trying for so long to avoid, and you threw it right in his face. 
“Ever since then it feels like you've been slowly leading me on, acting like we have something special but never letting it feel completely real, when you're the one who started all this in the first place, and let it get this far.” 
He stared at you, and he knew he couldn't keep it up anymore, couldn't keep ignoring it. He saw your hurt and frustration clear as day, and finally, he broke. 
“I'm a fucking idiot. I know I am, I'm an idiot and knew that getting so close with you was a terrible idea but I ignored all of that because I like you too much, I never intended for us to end up like this and feel like a huge asshole because I know I'm in a position where it's completely wrong of me to touch you at all because of how we met and the power dynamic but still every time I see you that's all I can think about.” 
“Do you really not understand how cruel you're being?” 
You scoffed at how genuinely confused he looked. 
“I've liked you so much for so long, you know I have, and you just waltz into my life and start talking to me and then teaching me and then offering to mentor me, when you know I can't help but fall for you. You even make it clear that you like me back, inviting me out with you and kissing me but never truly acknowledging what it means, it feels fucking awful. You keep stringing me along because you like me even though you know you can't give me what I really want. You're such a selfish asshole for that.” 
Your voice grew less and less stable and Baekhyun saw how the tears gathered in your eyes, threatening to spill over. 
He knew there was no use trying to argue with you, he'd gotten himself into this mess and he knew he was the one to blame. “What do you want me to do?” 
“I don’t know. But it can’t go on like this, it hurts too much.”
The small room fell silent and all you could do was stare at each other. You looked so defeated, the guilt nearly brought him to tears, and he did the only thing he could think to do. 
He held your face in his hands, bringing you close, letting his lips meet your own. 
Kissing him was just as electrifying as it always was, only this time, he didn't stop, didn't hold back. You got lost in the feeling, savoring the familiar taste and feel of finally getting what you craved again. This time though, it couldn't end the way it always did. Something had to change, so you pulled away.  
“You can’t just kiss me again and then keep on the same way. Please, I need more.” 
His face fell, because he knew he couldn’t give you that. “Y/n, I’m sorry, but you know why I can’t do that, why it has to be like this.” 
And he was right, of course you understood, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. It would be the end of his career if he was seen with you, and even his close friends would be raising eyebrows. He was so much older, your teacher, and your idol. What you wanted was completely impossible. “I care about you, a lot, you know I do. I also wish it wasn’t like this but we don’t have another choice.” 
“So what? You keep stringing me along, and I just have to live with it? Knowing that no matter how much we may want it, we’ll never be able to be together?” 
He sighed, and frowned at how sad you looked. “Can’t we just be grateful for what we do have?” 
You shook your head, “I want too much.” 
Despite everything you said, you and him both knew that you wouldn't be able to walk away, and neither would he. So when he took your face in his hands, whispered another “I'm sorry,” and kissed you again, you melted into him effortlessly. 
It was heated and messy, both letting out all your grief and frustration, clinging to each other almost desperately. He kissed you harder, deeper than he had before, until this time he was the one to pull away, though he didn't move far, looking at you with a look that while apologetic, was still hopeful.  
“I can't give you what you want, but if we're careful, I can take you home with me. For tonight, we can act like it’s real.” 
Before, taking you home with him had always been off the table. You were both too easily recognizable, and being seen in his building together would make it dead obvious that your relationship was more than it should be, so it didn’t even seem like an option. 
Wide eyed, you nodded, and not even a half hour into the lesson he was sneaking you carefully out of the practice room, and then the building, into his car. You texted your manager some bullshit excuse as to why you'd be gone for the night, and then you were on your way to his place, for the very first time.  
You could hear the rapid pounding of your own heart as he drove you through the night, unsure but excited. Even if it was only for one night, and he was risking far too much, you were going to hold onto whatever you could get. 
When he pulled into his building’s garage, he gave you a hat and a mask to put on, he pulled up his hood and put his own mask on, saying a short prayer before getting out of the car, and walking in with you. If anyone saw and recognized you both, he would be fucked, so he hurried, and luckily you made it to his apartment without running into anyone. 
Once inside you both let out a sigh of relief. You were alone with him, truly alone, no chance of passers by seeing you, or label mates catching onto your relationship, just you and him, all night. 
When you felt his hand on your own, pulling you closer, it robbed you of your breath. He took his mask off, and then yours, and leaned in, though his lips only barely met your own before he was looking at you once again. “I’ve wanted you so badly, and I know it’s wrong and I’m an idiot and an asshole for doing this, but I just can’t bring myself to stay away from you.” 
“So don’t. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you. I’m all yours.” 
You looked up at him, eyes sparking with all the hope and clueless naivety he should expect from you, a girl of barely twenty, who’d grown up loving him, and was powerless not to fall into his trap, whether he’d set it on purpose or not. He was a man ten years your senior, who positioned himself as an authority figure in your life, someone who should never touch you, kiss you, or anything even close. 
The guilt manifested as a lump in his throat, knowing that your feelings for him, your willingness to ignore how wrong it all was, were because of him. 
Still, he kissed you, with a kind of passion that was new to you both. Without any risk of getting caught, he let himself hold you tighter, let the kiss get more and more heated. He led you to the couch, where you ended up on his lap, his hands on your hips as his lips wandered to your neck, kissing, biting, enough to make you gasp and shiver, but not leave marks. 
For you it was otherworldly, lightheaded and dizzy with disbelief as his hands and lips stayed glued to your skin, finally living out the fantasies that played in your head when you laid alone at night, longing for him. You’d kissed boys in the past, but none of them came anywhere close to the way he made you feel. You were convinced nobody could ever make you feel the things Baekhyun could, and all he’d done was kiss you. He wasn’t some boy, he was a man, he knew what he was doing, and you wanted more. Every last little piece of him. 
The restraint was gone. He wanted you just as badly, and that was all he could focus on. When you pushed your hips further into him, he groaned at the friction, easily getting carried away. You felt, looked, sounded, tasted, even smelled divine to him. He’d been hard for a good while already, and this time when you rolled your hips and he felt you against him, he let out a satisfied groan. 
That only encouraged you further and you kept moving, lips moving heatedly against his, as you started to get yourself off against him, his hands on your ass guiding you. 
“I want more.” You breathed out when he pulled back for air. “Where’s your bedroom?” 
Baekhyun didn’t answer, rather he stood, your legs still wrapped around him as he carried you away, until gently laying you down on his mattress. 
With you he became a gentle, caring lover. Maybe it was your age, or the fact that he’d been your mentor, but the way he touched you was like you were something precious. Like if he wasn’t careful, you would break. Even as he positioned himself between your thighs, he was cautious, never moving too quickly, watching for any hesitation on your end. 
But there was none, your desire for him was all-consuming in a way that was hard to understand, even in the moment. Without him pressed against you, you felt like you might actually die. 
“I’m not made of glass, Baek. You don’t have to be so careful.” 
“I know, I just… I want to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I want this to be special.” 
When his lips met yours for the nth time that day, you started to tug on his clothes, until his shirt was being pulled over his head and he got to work undressing you as well. One by one he took off your blouse, followed by the skirt you were wearing, next unhooking your bra, until all that was left on your body was a pair of lacy underwear. Still desperate for his affection, you kept your lips glued to his all you could, the added feel of his warm skin against your own stealing any rationality from your mind. All you could think of was him, you wanted him in a way you didn’t even know was possible. 
He froze above you when your hand reached down, trying to get the button of his jeans undone. 
Even the few seconds when his touch left you completely as he finished undressing himself felt torturous. A breath got stuck in your throat when you felt his hands at your hips, slowly pulling the last piece of clothing from your body before reclaiming his place between your thighs. 
As your eyes met his and he started to move closer, you realized that there was something he needed to know. 
“Wait- I should probably tell you, I’ve never done this before.”
You watched as the color drained from Baekhyun’s face, eyes wide. He hadn’t even considered that you might be a virgin, you were old enough to have some experience, but it shouldn’t have been that much of a surprise to him either. Those five words hit him like a punch in the gut. 
He rolled off of you, hands running through his hair, eyes squeezed shut. “God, this is so fucked up.” 
You sat up, taking one of his hands and he looked at you with uncertainty. “It’s not a big deal, but I’m sorry if that was a bit of a shock.” 
He gave you a sympathetic, but worried look. “It is a big deal though, at least to me. This would be irresponsible enough if it wasn’t your first time, I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t want to be responsible for how you’ll feel afterwards.” 
His words made your heart sink and a lump form in your throat. “What? No, please, Baekhyun, trust me, there isn’t anyone in the entire world that I would rather do this with than you, here and now. Please. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything this badly.” 
“You have to realize how tough of a spot you’re putting me in.” 
“I don’t care. I just want you, I’ve never been so sure of anything in my entire life. Please.” 
You moved closer to him, linking your hands behind the back of his neck, taking him with you as you fell back onto the mattress. He looked down at you, still unsure. 
“Please.” 
He shushed you with another kiss, but had his own conditions if he was really going to be your first. “You have to tell me immediately if you feel uncomfortable at all, or if it hurts, and you can stop me at any point if you don’t want it anymore.” 
You could see in his eyes the concern and uncertainty he was feeling, but you had gotten this far, and you knew what you wanted, and you wanted it bad. You nodded, and he was between your legs once again, the anticipation rising. 
Baekhyun didn’t miss the way you gasped at the first touch of his length against your inner thigh. He wanted to make sure you were ready, that it didn’t hurt too badly, so he started with one finger inside you, slowly working it in and out, before adding a second. The wetness and your whimpers told him you were more than ready, easily taking his digits, and finally, he moved to replace them with his length.  
You felt him position himself at your entrance, and you were certain you’d never felt that kind anticipation before, leaving you a shaking, panting mess underneath him. 
You felt his hand softly against your cheek, and your eyes opened to meet his. “Y/n, baby. You’re sure you want this?” 
You nodded without even a second of hesitation. “Yes, god, please.” 
The softness of his kiss was a stark contrast to the intrusion of him pushing inside, the pain making your eyes squeeze shut and a whine pass your lips. 
He stopped moving when he saw your reaction, giving you time to adjust to the new sensation. “Am I hurting you?” 
It did hurt, but your desire overpowered any sign of discomfort. “Please don’t stop.” 
With his forehead pressed to yours he kept going, until his hips were flush with yours. He felt your discomfort in how tense you were, staying still to let the pain subside. 
“Baekhyun, please.” 
You might’ve not minded the pain, too concerned with the intense need for more, but he wasn’t going to move until he knew you were okay. 
“I know it hurts baby, you have to relax, can you do that for me?” 
You whined in response but realized that he was right, you were extremely un-relaxed, and as you made a conscious effort to let go of all the tension in your body, the pain faded away. 
He felt it, and saw how you melted into the mattress, and took it as his cue to start moving. 
The first thrust had your back arching, moaning his name and he just kept going, setting a slow rhythm. You clung to him, moaning unabashedly, losing yourself to the new and incredible feeling of him inside you. Nothing could’ve prepared you for it, this was so much better than anything you’d been able to come up with in your own fantasies. Just the weight and warmth of him on top of you overwhelmed you, combined with the feeling of him pushing in, pulling out almost completely each time, before sinking back into you, it was like your own personal heaven. He was your own personal heaven. 
It only got better as he kept moving, that familiar warm feeling building in the pit of your stomach. You’d had orgasms before, but what you could do with your own hands didn’t even compare to what he was doing to you. It was a wholly different, and far more intense sensation. 
His lips collided with yours in a messy, lustful haze, praises passing his lips in between breaths.  “You feel so good baby, so perfect, so beautiful.”
Those words heightened everything even more, his low voice sending chills running down your spine. 
“Baek, please.” 
You didn’t even know what you were begging for anymore, you were just imploring him for more, everything and anything he could give you, you wanted it. The feeling of him rolling his hips into you again and again clearing your mind, your pleasure and desire all consuming. 
However he could see it in your eyes, how you needed more, and picked up the pace. The way he pushed himself into you, now faster, and with more force, had the tightness in your belly growing more intense by the second. 
The build up was more intense than you ever knew possible, losing control as he continued his ministrations, until all at once, you fell. 
The orgasm raged through you, leaving every nerve ablaze, as you shook and gasped at the overwhelming wave of pleasure. 
Above you, Baekhyun was losing control too, still pushing inside deeply, teetering on the edge, but your fucked out expression combined with the way you clenched around him had him reaching his high soon after you, shuddering with a moan as he let go. 
For a minute you both stayed just like that, panting, gasping, letting the climax slowly fade, until there was nothing left but a tangled web of sweaty limbs. 
When he pulled out and rolled off of you, the loss of his warmth made you whine. You barely even noticed when he got up, soon returning with a wet towel, and cleaning you up. 
He settled in next to you, and you smiled when his arm wrapped around you, pulling you into him. 
Luckily the exhaustion did well to lull you to sleep, any painful thoughts being pushed to the morning, but you wouldn’t be able to escape them forever. 
He woke you up with a kiss on the cheek, and at first it all felt so nice, so tender and intimate, in bed together with him as the sun began to poke through the curtains. Slowly he got up, and you followed, feeling the dull ache between your thighs as you stood. 
Seeing the way you grimaced at the soreness, he was quickly at your side. “Shit, sorry.” He muttered. 
You just let out a small laugh. “It’s okay, it was worth it, at least. Definitely worth it.” 
He smiled, pulling his clothes on as you gathered your own, before doing the same. “Let’s get you home, before it gets busy and people could see us leaving here together."
There it was, the rude call back to reality. That your night with him was over, that now you would have to hide again, to sneak around, and constantly be reminded that he wasn’t really yours, and never would be. 
Stupid, foolish girl. 
You managed to make it back home without being spotted, and even his kiss goodbye couldn’t keep the sadness from taking you over. He noticed it too, how you seemed to shut down after making it to his car. 
Back in your room, you let it all out, letting the tears seep into your pillow. Once again, he’d turned you into a complete mess, the pain and frustration leaving you broken.
Nobody could ever again give you what he could, could make you feel what he could. It was him, the man you’d looked up to and admired for so many years, and now after having slept with him, it was clearer than ever. 
That was the nature of your relationship with him. You were powerless to him, and no matter how much it would ruin you, you'd let him do it, over and over again.
For him, you would ruin yourself, a million little times.
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melobin · 5 months
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melo waffled in her friends dms but it came to 1000 words .,,, sorry anton!!
you just needed to pee!! didn’t know sungchan was in there let alone in the shower fucking his fist ., the door unlocked (he’s the only one who doesn’t lock the door) you both freeze a little when you enter you not knowing what to do but your eyes linger on his body because he’s just so attractive… arms and and tensed form the pleasure, water droplets falling down his skin, cheeks flushed and eyes heavy. swollen lips … you think he’d stop but he doesn’t,, probably goes as far as to hold your eyes as he does it,.. cumming so quickly and so hard bc you’re watching him .,,
nothing happens that night but you end up going back to anton’s bed soaked with images of sungchan in your head and sungchan ends up fucking his fist all over again bc the whole thing made him hard .., this time with you in his head
you fell bad and wanna tell anton about what happened but you can’t ., you like the fact it’s a secret between you and sungchan. but you don’t expect your little secret to become more!! not when it’s just you and anton in dorms. .. anton has to go to the company to do soemthing and kisses you softly saying he’ll be a few hours but he wnats you to stay so you do !! but whilst you’re there sungchan comes back and the tension between the two of you is through the roof.,, especially because you’re alone together, you don’t mean for anything to happen but when you’re alone in the kitchen, his fingers so close to your skin, you have to cave for him and let him press you agaisnt the counter and kiss you,, have to let him bend you over it and fuck you there with his hand in your hair and his lips by your ear. he’d be so vocal, moaning into your ear, telling you how wrong this is because he knows you shouldn’t be doing it but you just feel so good squeezing around his cock he can’t help it. “feel so bad for anton fuck but it feels like he doesn’t even fuck you”. you’re just squeezing around him so tightly.,, his cock sliding so nicely inside of you bc of how soaked you are :(( he feels like anton’s never even been inside of you with how you’re reacting to him.
he finds out anton doesn’t fuck you !! when he says that you just whimper out that “he doesn’t” and it just sets something off in sungchan.,, he groans into your ear, fingers moving from your hair to wrap around your throat “fuck a pretty little thing like you needs to be fucked every day” he rambles a lot during sex.,, everything that comes to his mind comes out his mouth and he just slips out a “if you were mine i’d leave you unable to walk for the next week”
sungchan fucked you full of his cum then took you to the shower just to press you against the wall and drop to his knees to eat it out of you, hooking one of your legs over his shoulder, pressing his face right against you, letting you pull at his hair.
anton comes back probably half an hour after sungchan is finally done with you.,, it’s late so it’s dark out., not unusual for you to be in bed when he gets there and when he comes in and sees you he can tell you’re a little worn out and he asks if you’re okay but you jsut say you spent the hours studying and staring at your laptop screen for so long made you tired :( doesn’t know the real reason is because sungchan is fucking you dumb, left you needing rest and relaxing because of it. sungchan probably stay with you till he hears the door open, just so you’re not alone but as soon as the front door opens he’s gone, not needing anton or any of the others to know he was with you
anton loves his sungchan hyung so much !! he trusts him with you, knows he’d help you if you needed someone when anton wasn’t around. you go to the same gym as the boys., going the same time as them so anton can help you but even anton gets his own schedule it cuts into the time he goes so he can’t :( wonbin also ends up too busy to go so anton says it’s okay !! you can go with sungchan so you don’t have to go alone !! he genuinely thinks he’s just being a good boyfriend and helping you so you don’t have to go to the gym alone, doesn’t realise he’s basically sending you there to get fucked silly every night you’re there
would probably get to the point where sungchan finds it funny that anton basically sent you to get fucked without realising it. sungchan spends his whole time working out fucking you with his eyes and he knows you’re doing the same with him. the gym has private changing rooms, basically enabling the two of you to fuck whenever you want however long you want when you’re there because you won’t be caught !!! until seunghan started going to the gym with you two again.. hes not that stupid.. he knows sungchan is fucking you on the low… he wants his own turn !!
sungchan usually fucks you against the wall in the showers but seunghan wants his turn and you can’t turn him down at all. thought of seunghan who fucks you agaisnt the wall with your legs around his waist, isn’t shy of looking at you whilst he does it, makes sure your eyes are open and you’re watching because sungchans stood next to to you, head against the wall, hair wet against his face, tugging at his cock as he’s watching you get fucked bc the sight is just so fucking hot. but also you who’s getting a little too loud from how seunghan is splitting you open so he tells sungchan to kiss you and he does ofc he does but seunghan tells him too just so he can thrust that little bit harder into you and make you struggle to kiss sungchan ..,
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fifarts · 10 months
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“it’s nice to know you work alone” 🪐⚡️
(click for better quality, more info and alt text below cut)
another jupeter piece and some recommended songs from my jupeter playlist!
I have synesthesia which means my brain associates certain audio and music with different colors and shapes, so I worked a lot with the colors on this piece and especially the background to kind of translate some of the visualizations I get when I listen to these songs together! If you read the lyrics of both you’ll see why I heavily associate them with juno and peter!
I have another piece that I’ll hopefully post circa S3 that goes along with There’s No Secrets This Year (the most jupeter song ever) and a comic for Waltz in E-Major, Op. 15 “Moon Waltz” by Cojum Dip that I really want to work on soon! My playlist is still a work in progress and I’m currently in the process of moving my spotify accounts around but as of right now the full playlist link is here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6SP3sUjzSTBCPhouCe4xXY?si=277Hd2pqTGmRzPLcSx6dvQ
I organized it partially by season so hopefully it’s easier to understand the character connections of the songs. (The first song of the playlist is an instrumental guitar piece that my dad’s guitarist is doing as a side project which is super cool and you should definitely check out his stuff (and also please send some streams his way) If you love vocal-like sexy guitar riffs and weird time signatures and video game-esque music, Vision Swords is for you lol)
Alt Text:
A lineless digital art painting of Juno Steel and Peter Nureyev from the Penumbra Podcast. Juno's face is visible in a profile view as he holds his blaster in his outstretched hand. Juno is a short Black and South Asian person with dark brown skin, a scar across his nose bridge, and black hair that is lit with purple lighting. Juno has short locs and a high undercut with a star design shaved in. He is wearing a tan trenchcoat, a white button up, and black tie. He is also wearing a cochlear implant, hot pink star earrings, and hot pink acrylic nails. Peter stands behind him with his face partially obscured. He is a tall South Asian man with medium brown skin and dark shoulder length brown hair. He is pointing his blaster and wearing a black suit jacket with gold details. The background of the painting is hot pink, neon purple, and bright blue. The background colors mix in with one another in a perspective blur from the center of the painting. [end alt text]
Thank you so much for the support while I’ve been on hiatus! I’m going to college this fall for Robotics Engineering and I’ve been dealing with some pretty big health problems as well (I literally just got out of surgery today lol) which has left little time for art (fanart or otherwise) 😅 Love ya!
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moronkombat · 7 months
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i NEED more kenshi im BEGGING, nsfw and sfw all of it everything im on my hands and knees
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SFW
Kenshi's love language is a close tie between physical touch and acts of service
Not to say Kenshi seeks out a partner who will do what he says but a partner who will help him
Kenshi is often away from home so he feels very touched when his partner welcomes him with a hug and something to eat
He is not looking for a fine dining experience to come home to. What he seeks is a place to relax and let out the breath he's been carrying
Really enjoys the sensation of his partner touching him. He longs to feel their hands on his skin, keeping him warm
Loves to receive massages from his partner but does not request them. It's up to his partner to see the hints that he is needing one
What are those signs? Kenshi will crane his neck with a groan, He'll try to ring out the kinks in his muscles by rolling his shoulder which seems just to make everything worse
When his partner's hands are upon him, molding his flesh and freeing him of sore damnation, Kenshi is just beginning to kiss that feeling of nirvana
More often than not, he ends up falling asleep under his partner's fingers. This why his partner always provides such a service in the bedroom
Kenshi does not often sleep in a proper bed. Not because he doesn't to but because Kenshi will work until he can no longer move
There will be many nights were his partner will find him slumped over at his desk, a document still in hand
He is often exhausted by this point and, while it may appear uncomfortable, Kenshi is actually comforted
Kenshi's partner will often drape a blanket around him and lightly place a pillow under his head instead of jarring him from a much needed rest
There is a lot of guilt he carries for not spending time with you as after as he feels he should
That is why, when Kenshi is with you, he holds you just as the night holds the stars
NSFW
Kenshi can bring a variety of experiences to the bedroom
He knows how to be slowly sensual and rough as an animal. The choice is heavily what his partner is seeking
His preference is a mix between the two. Something that can be ruthless one moment and then tender the next. Best of both worlds according to him
Kenshi rather likes receiving oral over giving it. Not to say he won't, he will. But there is just something so devious with her head between his legs, mouth so stuffed full that Kenshi simply cannot go without
There many different positions Kenshi is partial too but he has two favorites. When you ride him and taking you from behind
Your hips grind and swirl against him and he groans. The sense of touch so heightened that he feels this ecstasy within his bones.
Moaning whispers travel straight through his ears and to Kenshi your breathless wisp a booming thunder
All of his senses much more reactive so what may seem so simple to someone else, can be earth shattering to Kenshi
This often leads him being very vocal in bed. He will try to keep them at bay but his partner feels too excellent around him
He'll moan and whimper, often right into your ear as he pulls you close to him
Kenshi, when in the right moment, finds dirty talk rather appealing. There's just something about taking you from behind that makes his mind twist
He'll call you names, vile and wretched names that have your gut coiling and flexing within itself
Kenshi will notice, how can he not, which only fuels him. Dirty, filthy, whore...he goes on and on
A master at degradation and an artist at aftercare. Kenshi provides to his lover sweetly once your escapades come to a close
Loves to hold his partner close and pamper them with his lips and soft words
Once he has a comforting hold over you, do not expect to be getting up any time soon. Kenshi's aftercare is a very cuddly experience
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gennemi · 6 months
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𝑫𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒆 𝑴𝒊𝒉𝒂𝒘𝒌 𝑺𝑭𝑾 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔
A/N: I enjoyed writing these cute and silly headcanons of my favorite swordsman Dracule Mihawk✨. These are just headcanons I had in my head! 🥰
Warnings: Pure Fluff, little bit of silliness, mentions of pregnancy and childbirth. Mihawk being best husband and father.
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.He gives off the vibes of possibly being attracted to someone who is like him per say, one who prefers the quiet like him. Considering he's a man of a few words In a way.
. He's a big softy. He won't admit it though, but he's got a big soft spot for you. Always acting soft with you. Very rarely ever gets mad at you.
. When he does get mad at you, it's because he's probably being overprotective. He just wants you to be safe. Doesn't ever want you to be in harm's way, so sometimes he can be a bit menacing with it, but the man means well, he doesn't want to lose you.
. Very ✨sassy✨ he was very sassy in the Live Action. So he can be very sassy, especially if he's woken up from his naps. Just let the poor man nap.
. Speaking of naps, he deserves them. He probably doesn't get a lot of sleep at night, at most maybe 3 or 4 hours. He sleeps a whole lot better at night with you next to him than he will if you aren't.
. He may not vocalize it a lot, but he does love you. He's one of those that doesn't vocalize that he loves you out loud a lot. But possibly he shows it with gifts that he brings back when he comes home from long trips.
. He would be the best dad to his future kids!! A very strict dad though, with certain rules that he makes to keep his kids safe. GIRL DAD VIBES!!! I don't make the rules.
. He just has these girl dad vibes to him, he would want to be a girl dad. But doesn't care what the gender is at the same time, he will still love his child(ren).
. If he has a daughter, he will be way over protective over her, like very. If he has a son he will still be an overprotective father, when his son is old enough he will teach him self defense, he will also teach his daughter self defense but will still be overprotective.
.if you two do start a family, and you fall pregnant, be prepared for Mihawk to be overbearing, he just wants to protect you more since you are carrying a baby.
. He will take care of you, feet or back is sore? He will rub your back and feet for you. Are you craving something? He's making it for you. He will also do that one thing you see dads do on tiktok: slowly lift the belly up to relieve some pressure on your sore back. He will for sure do that for you.
. When it's time for you to give birth, he's there the whole time you are in labor, not once leaving your side. He wants to be the best supportive husband he can be. He feels so bad that you are in so much pain, he whispers soothing words to you while letting you literally squeeze the life out of his hand.
. If you two have a girl, he's over the moon. Loves her so much, she would look like a spitting image of him, if you two have a son he's still over the moon, and he will also look like a spitting image of Mihawk.
. But if you two end up having twins! A boy and a girl! Man is ecstatic, definitely for sure over the moon. And his genes would definitely be strong; they would both definitely look like a spitting image of Mihawk.
. Overall Mihawk would be the best husband, and father to yall's future kids.
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floydsmuse · 6 months
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A night out in the wild
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warnings: 18+ only, mdni, smut, p in v, teasing, explicit language.
pairing: Bob Floyd x f! reader (no y/n)
description: after being forced into going on a camping trip with Bob, you decide to get back at him. you get him all riled up & he ends up taking control… (wc 1k+)
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a/n: hi :) so i finally finished up a new fic! this one took me a few days & im not super sure why😅 but it’s here! i just knew i had to write something spicy for Bob, so this is what i came up with! i had fun writing this one, so i hope you like it. as always, likes & comments are great! reblogs are appreciated too🥰💕 ty!
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“wo..would..you quit that?!” Bob yelled over to you in a whisper, completely stuttering over his words & his voice becoming strained.
you were busying yourself in this moment, rubbing your ass against his clothed half-hard cock. you suppressed a giggle into your pillow, but not letting up on your teasing. hearing Bob be flustered & getting all hot & bothered was one of your favorite things. on the other hand, Bob was just doing his absolute best to keep quiet in this predicament, not wanting to risk waking up his other fellow naval aviators.
~
see, Bob was forced to go on this camping trip. Rooster had set it up & the rest of the dagger squad were all in attendance. Bob politely declined the offer at first, but Rooster didn’t let him off so easy & insisted that he tag along. he tried to reason that it would be good for Bob to get out of his comfort zone & have a bit of fun. It took a lot of convincing, but eventually Bob gave in, but only on one condition. he would only go if you joined him & while you were not completely thrilled with the idea, Bob’s pleading eyes & him practically begging you to come with was enough for you to agree to go. so, you packed up your things & headed out to a campsite a ways away from home.
while loving the idea of being with your boyfriend in a tent suited for one & in such close proximity to him, you didn’t love the idea of sleeping on the hard woodsy ground, on a particularly chilly fall night. you knew you had to get back at him somehow for dragging you along on this trip. you figured you would wait until everyone else was off to sleep, before you could give Bob a taste of his own medicine.
~
it was around 2 in the morning. you waited until all the guys were seemingly asleep in their tents, before making a move. Bob was cuddled up against your backside, with his head resting next to your shoulder & his arms wrapped securely around your waist. you bit your bottom lip & hesitated for a second, not sure if this was entirely a good idea. you knew Bob could get incredibly vocal when you two were intimate. he never shys away from letting out those cute little noises you adored so much, when you’re pleasuring him or vice versa. you knew he would be mortified if any of the squad heard him in such a predicament. but you figured, it’s now or never. you were gonna get him back good for dragging you here.
you push back further into him, your ass lining up with his crotch. you start slowly grinding against him, not wanting to over do it. Bob stirs, but doesn’t quite regain consciousness yet. you know if you make your movements too quick or too intense, Bob will surely be yelping out in mercy. so, you only go a tad bit faster & push back further into him just a little bit more. a sudden jerk from him is felt from behind you & a gasp escapes his throat.
“wha..what are you doing? ahh…st..stop.” Bob groggily spoke, letting out a groan that seems to get caught in his throat. you don’t stop though. you keep going & pretend like you didn’t hear him protest. you knew he liked it, as this wasn’t the first time you two had done this. it just wasn’t done in a place where you could potentially get caught.
“wo..would..you quit that?!” Bob yelled over to you in a whisper, still stuttering over his words & his voice straining. you let out a light giggle & he let out a fuck under his breath. his hands were squeezing into your sides so hard, that you were sure his strong grip on them would leave bruises in their wake.
“you put this on yourself Bobby. for dragging me here in the first place.” you teasingly reply back & Bob continues to let out the littlest of whines. you start steadying your movements, pushing yourself away from his grasp & sitting up. you gaze down, peaking at his erection just waiting to break away from the clutches of his flannel pants. you couldn’t help but let out a gulp at the very sight. Bob didn’t say anything for a few seconds, his breathing heavy & his eyes blown out. he then looks up at you, his face reads of lust & god knows you were prepared for what was about to happen next.
Bob pounces at you. in a flash your mouths are molded together through sloppy wet kisses & he’s now straddling your waist. you run your hands up his back, but he’s quick to pin them above your head. his lips lead a trail of kisses along your jaw, then to your neck. you bite your lip to suppress a whimper. so desperately wanting to card your fingers through his hair, but Bob still has your hands trapped within his firm grasp.
he suddenly stops the assault on your neck & leans in to your ear whispering,
“i am going to ruin you sweets. i hope you’re ready for my cock.”
he nips at the shell of your ear & your breath gets caught in your throat. the idea of Bob ruining you makes your panties soaked & your thighs start rubbing together, seeking for a type of friction you’re so desperately yearning for.
Bob doesn’t hesitate. he tears your pjs off, leaving you absolutely bare in front of him. Bob was always known to be the shy & quiet WSO, but behind bedroom doors or in intimate settings at times, he becomes a wild animal.
his cock is finally set free from its restraints, awaiting to be fully submersed inside your gummy walls. you are growing impatient with him. just wanting him to stretch you out to your full extent & have his cock buried deep inside of you, going to town on that spot that just feels so right.
your wish is granted. Bob spreads you wide open & throws your legs over his shoulders, completely bending you in half. you instinctively wrap your arms around him. he gives you no warning & quickly pushes his plush tip into your seeping wet hole. you let out a gasp, a little too loudly for Bob’s liking. he slaps his hand over your mouth & shakes his head at you. he leans into your ear again. his voice hushed,
“you better keep quiet baby. you don’t wanna wake up the others. don’t want em’ to know that i’m taking you right here inside this little tent of ours.”
your eyes roll into the back of your head at his words & at the idea of the guys overhearing you two. Bob’s hand remains over your mouth, as he slowly starts moving inside you. just warming you up, allowing you to get used to his size & that familiar stretch of your walls. Bob keeps steadily thrusting & you let out a muffled whine into his hand, indicating that you were ready for him to pick up the pace.
Bob listens. he picks up on his movements, causing you to dig your heels further into his shoulder blades & your hands wrack into his hair, lightly tugging there. Bob lets out the slightest of groans & you can tell that he’s really trying his best not to scream out in pleasure.
that feeling of his plush tip, hitting that spot inside you just right makes you see stars. Bob continues that fast pace, not letting up. it feels like you two are the only people existing in the world in this moment. you’re both intimately connected & chasing your highs out in the wilderness. it truly was a beautiful sight.
Bob pulls his head from where it rested against your shoulder & immediately latches his mouth onto your right tit. he swirls his tongue over the now perked nipple & nips at your doughy flesh there too. your eyes squeeze shut at the sudden action & you can’t help but bite down onto Bob’s hand. Bob jolts in reaction to your teeth sunken into his skin, but he still doesn’t let up on his thrusting or assault on your breasts.
he knew you had to be close now & he wasn’t far behind you. Bob removes his hand from your mouth, as quieted whimpers leave your throat & you mutter out a close. Bob grunts at your response, as you pull him closer into you & crashing your lips into his, to suppress a moan. you finally let go, your orgasm taking over your body. you are shuddering under him & Bob follows suit. his own orgasm overcoming him & your name is quietly projected from his lips. being repeated over & over.
Bob’s thrusts slowly start coming to a hault, but you aren’t letting him out of your grasp just yet. your sweaty foreheads press together, as his cock softens inside of you. you stay like this for some time, continuing to be intimately connected. both of your breathing starts to calm & all that can be heard are the subtle sounds of nature bouncing off of the trees in the forest.
Bob soon carefully slips out of you, but remains close. he pulls your limp body into his chest, legs intertwining & lays his head against your head. Bob leans in even closer to you, whispering in your ear,
“that’s what ya get for riling me up.”
you can practically feel his smirk against your cheek. you let out a giggle at his words & lean over to press a kiss to his lips. you two remained like this for the rest of the night. bare & limbs tangled together under the remaining hours of a starry night sky.
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number1mingyustan · 5 months
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PILLOWTALK | Vocal Unit
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insp. pillowtalk-zayn
(a/n: again just something short while i work on real content)
Jeonghan
It’s part of his love language and his way of reaffirming you. You don’t like the way you look in that dress? He’s gonna prove to you that he does. You don’t have your hair and makeup done? He couldn’t care less and he’s gonna show you. He’ll pull you into the bed with him and prove it. He talks you through everything and his words make the experience all the more intense every time. Definitely the type to piss off the neighbors because he's intentional about making you loud for him. Can be gentle, but can also be rough. A bit of a tease, but never fails to satisfy.
Joshua
His sex drive isn’t insane, but after a long day or a boring day he finds comfort in you. Sometimes he’ll work is way up, teasing touches and subtle hints. But other times, he’ll just tell you straight up and you’re laid up in bed with him almost immediately. He’s still a giver, so he’ll make sure to make you cum at least once before he actually fucks you. It’s always super intense and intimate. Can go all night or even all day because he get obsessed with the intimacy he feels. It's nothing but you and him together, loving on one another in your most vulnerable states.
Dk
Rarely even gets horny, just gets affectionate. Once he feels affectionate, he needs to have you. Starts off with needy kisses and then he’s leading you into the bedroom because he wants to do things with you properly. Lots and lots of kisses and marking, he’s so obsessed. Worships you and your body the entire time and makes you cum as many times as possible because he loves knowing he can make you feel good. He is always extremely gentle and loving with you. He's big on praise, telling you how pretty you look and he's never shy about letting you know how good you're making him feel.
Woozi
Also doesn't have a very high sex drive. But he likes to end the night perfectly after he takes you out for dinner on an expensive date. He'll drive you back home and help you remove your coat before he leads you into the bedroom. He'll leave a lot of marks but won't realize it until he wakes up next to you when the sun is glistening onto your skin. He'll get handsy, running his fingers over every inch of your body and take his time with you. He never rushes or forces anything, it all comes naturally and you're sure as hell gonna be cumming. He doesn't realize the impact he has on you. He's so nonchalant and gentle but you'll still find yourself losing count of how many times he makes you cum throughout the night.
Seungkwan
Sex is usually initiated by you in the relationship. You'll come onto him, leading him into the bedroom and he's quick to follow your lead. He rarely asks for anything and you find it sweet until you're in the bedroom. You just want to repay him for taking such good care of you all the time and fulfill his every desire. You'll take the lead, riding him all night until you're both exhausted and satisfied. He's incredibly vocal, especially when you're the one in control. He'll watch you in awe with love in his eyes as you express your love for him. You'll end the night sweaty with messy hair, laid up in each other's arms until you fall asleep.
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© number1mingyustan - Do not repost without permission.
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ragingbookdragon · 5 months
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Sometimes you wonder if a man like Simon “Ghost” Riley is truly capable of such a thing as love. You’ve seen the man snap someone’s neck without a blink, inhale and unload a clip into an oncoming squad, exhale and keep going, seen him simply stare at the bodies of dead men, women, and children, unable to spare even a word of sympathy. How does a man like that even love?
You know he can though. Or at least have gone to great lengths to try and prove that he isn’t in fact as cold as he seemingly believes he is. His heart’s numb, very numb, but it isn’t dead. He perhaps wishes it was, but nevertheless, there were still things that actually made his heart beat.
He reminds you a lot of the song “Patience” by Take That. You even told him once over reminiscing old 2000s hits in the drive back to base after a night out. You’d even played the song for him and in all his sullen silence, Simon Riley sat in the backseat, wedged up against the door with one of your thighs draped over his, listening to you belt out the lyrics with Soap and Gaz doing back-up vocals. Uncomfortable seemed to be the only term he could use to describe how it felt to be so easily seen by your eyes. You aren’t all that complicated, Simon. You’re just healing from a lifetime of heartache.
Simon “Ghost” Riley is not a heartbroken man. Sure, he’s rough, cold, maybe broken mentally somehow, but he is not “broken hearted”. But he is, isn’t he? That ache that makes him grind his teeth, and he can never really tell if it’s anger or longing that makes him feel so, but there is something about seeing people living easy lives, loving so easily that makes him some semblance of bitter. But he is healing from a lifetime of heartache, isn’t he? His dad, his mom, Tommy, Joseph, all of them. Every one of them is like a lash against his heart that drains the blood and emotion from the organ, wraps it in a cage of frigid bone that he tucks so far down inside him, he’s lost the key.
But maybe you’re the key? Your smile that makes his chest feel a funny lightness, a laugh that brightens the room, a heart that never seems to break from anything, yet manages to overflow enough care and affection that it seems impossible. Simon couldn’t take losing you. You’re a bit careless sometimes. Barely escaping by the skin of your teeth. Too many close calls. He doesn’t really know how he’d manage to survive you. Sometimes, he’s too scared to even think of life without you two doors down the hall at base.
He listens to you in your room a lot. The walls aren’t very thick. You really like 2000s alternative—he hates it, speaks to him too much. How many times can I break till I shatter? Over the line, can’t define what I’m after. I always turn the car around. All that I feel is the realness I’m faking. Taking my time, but it’s time that I’m wasting. No amount of pulling a pillow through his head will get your voice out of his brain. Somehow it feels so much more powerful when it’s not the singer’s voice in his head, but yours.
It ends up with him at your door at 0300, rambling, unable to make a truly coherent thought that explains why this 230 pound, killing machine is about to have an anxiety attack. And that, ends up with him hunkered down in your bed, under your covers, wrapped in your arms. It’s downright dangerous to dally with frat regs, but nothing has ever felt so right, so good, so healing, than listening to your heartbeat in his ear. The vibrations from your vocal cords begin luring him to sleep. Technically another old song, but 2012 wasn’t too long ago. I won’t give up on us. God knows I’m tough enough. We’ve got a lot to learn. God knows we’re worth it.
He falls asleep with his head to your chest, your humming in his ears, and for once in a long time, Simon “Ghost” Riley remembers what it’s like to look up.
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ssweetener · 2 months
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☼*·ꕤ eternal sunshine: track by track with ariana grande summary ☼*·ꕤ
starts the interview off by saying she did not plan to make music or an album and was opposed to coming out with music until after both parts of wicked were out. when the strike began, she went to new york "for fun" and "to see how it would feel". max martin spent a week with her at jungle city studios and "it all just started pouring out" ariana went to the studio everyday by herself and thought that if the music was coming out of her organically, it should be shared that way. ariana says that her relationship with music has changed a lot through taking space from it. she's learned a lot from and through galinda and healed a lot of parts of herself alongside and through her that helped heal her own personal stuff that she had going on in her life as well as her relationship to music and being an artist. she talks about struggling with her persona and how being able to come home and sit with it and evaluate the things that weren't working helped her fall in love with it again. she thinks everything happened exactly how it was meant to be
bye: hardest song to write on the album. it was written on a day where she was very upset and emotional so a few different versions of the song exist. she was more reactive when recording and it ended up not representing what she actually felt. "bye" is a very simple, and silly lyric but it was hard because she desperately didn't want it to feel like a fuck you. she wanted it to feel like a "i need to leave, so bye." she wanted the song to be rooted in self awareness and not a fuck you, you go. the song is meant as a "with love, i'm degrading from the situation" which is why it's the first track after the intro "end of the world" because the intro to the album asks a question, takes accountability and is self aware. says her biggest fear when it comes to songwriting in general is even if the concept is strong, she doesn't want it to come across as harsh. the reason why she felt okay to go there is because of her mom. growing up she feels she wanted what she didn't have. her parents got divorced (for all the right reasons) and she understands they weren't supposed to be together but she held onto the idea of happily ever after. she says her mom is massive example of not doing that. she's learned that her fears replicating a certain cycle were actually the opposite and she realized she wanted to be so much more like her mom than she actually was. ariana wanted to have the strength to say "bye" kindly when something wasn't fucking right - it's a simple as that. says her mom is the strongest, most brilliant person she know. "bye" is a disco track, which is joan's favorite thing in the world so it feels like her mom's song, or a song she wrote from her perspective, because it's something she watched her do multiple times. ends by saying she doesn't feel like she has to be afraid of byes when there's a lot of love involved because it means listening to your soul and not being afraid to be uncomfortable
don't wanna break up again: ariana describes the song as the hangover to "bye" because it's kind of like "okay, this has happened but i'm reflecting" and there's a lot of polarizing feelings. the two songs show all of the complicated emotions and feelings that come with loving and leaving back to back
saturn returns interlude: eternal sunshine (the song) feels like a "wake up" moment, like a pivotal moment in the story and it felt like the the interlude sets up the rest of the album. dianna garland is the speaker and is an astrologist that she was introduced to by her friend will loftis who choreographed yes, and? they met on the set of wicked and ariana says it felt like a cosmic collision. will sent her the vocal that he chopped and put together and said it reminded him of ariana, ilya salmanzadeh put orchestrations under it and she fell in love with it. ariana says she's very in to astrology and believes it is a tool to help us hear what we need to hear sometimes and [a way] to look forward with hope and awareness but also reads us to filth when we need to hear it eternal sunshine: has adored the film since she young. a huge jim carrey fan and always has been. she was always attracted to the idea of writing a song around the film but once she realized that the rest of the songs were kind of forming a story that was similar to "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" where there's a cycle that everyone is trying to break, the title fell into place. she's her most productive when she's open and pretends like nobody is going to hear the music
supernatural: says it's the horniest song on the album. that's literally it true story: a true story based on all untrue events. ariana was writing a batch of music for a scrapped seth macfarlane show that both the hook of "true story" and "fantasize" are from. says she wanted to save some of the ideas she was coming up with with max martin for the show for the next album she put out. even though it was leaked and the public already heard an old version of it, she wanted to reclaim it because she loved it and it felt important to make it into what it was supposed to be originally. she didn't want to let the people who stole her music win. the production, the vocals and lyrics were completely changed and ariana says the leaked version of the song was just a seedling of what it was meant to be
the boy is mine: "that's going to be everyone's favorite, unfortunately." the version of "fantasize" on the album that [fans] wanted to have but is sexier and naughtier. more provocative then the rest of the music but is "not about what you think it's about." had an old song from years ago that sampled "waterfalls" by TLC called "you" that was supposed to be on sweetener. says she's a 90's baby and has so many 90's interpolation idea samples in her brain and this one finally found a home. she wanted it to come after "true story" on the track list because "the boy is mine" is her playing the bad girl
yes,and?: felt like it was the right introduction to the album because it is it's own and she feels like it sets the tone by saying "everyone has shit going on that you don't know about, so just shhh" that's the message of the song and she thins it's funny that people share motivational quotes on instagram and are so toxic positive and then their next post is the meanest thing she's ever read in her entire life. "yes, and?" is a reminder that everyone is on the same journey in a different way and on a different level. she liked it because it expressed a whole bunch of feelings she's had for the past [forever] of her career. there's always been conversations about her body, her face, her hair, etc and "if you change it or correct it then it's wrong again for different reasons" shes just going to be, because she just fucking loves being and she wants everyone to feel that way as well
we can't be friends (wait for your love): starts off by saying the strings at the end of the track make her really emotional and she loves them. she wanted it to be something everyone could relate to, it can be about whoever you want it to be about. when asked about who the song is about, she said she has a hard time going into specifics about who or what a song is about because that's not the point of it. she feels it's up to people to make of it what they will
i wish i hated you: cries on the last verse of the album. she's glad the feeling was captured on the album but it's one that she won't ever listen to or sing live. ariana thinks it's a very important color to exist on the album because it's an important piece of the puzzle. she's happy to acknowledge the goodness and the effort and that it just was not correct. she doesn't need to pretend [that person] was a monster to make peace with the ending, but it would be easier if they were. "it could have not been right, but that person can still be a good person" and she thinks that's a really important song to write. says she feels like it completed the family of breakup songs on the album where she wrote from a more hurt or upset place, and it comes from a more aware and grieved place where she "can give credit to and make peace with this and not carry the version i had of you when i was upset. grieving would be so much easier if we hated that person... it would be like good riddance. but capturing the complexity of what happens when you don't is imperative and protective"
imperfect for you: the last song she finished on the album and her favorite. she thinks it's her favorite sonically and because it's very trippy (for her) and rubber soul vibes and that is her favorite music to listen to that she hasn't gotten to explore herself. says it was really fun to lean into and make something 60s and organic feeling
ordinary things: nonna was very excited to be on the album and moved by it. the album starts with a question: "how do i know if i'm in the right relationship?" and ends with an answer from a person that ariana loves and trusts and cherishes. ariana records nonna for hours when she's with her because she's the funniest person on the planet and the snippet on the track comes from an hour long recording of her (nonna) and her friend shirley bitching about men and feminism. someday there will be an extended cut of the song where more of the conversation will be heard. in her head, there was a version of the album where she was going to interview nonna and her friends and family [the strong women] in her life and showcase stories about love and learning and relationships as interludes from the women that she loves so much but she didn't have time to do it
ends the second part of the interview saying she announced the title of the album on jim carrey's birthday and didn't realize. agrees that his art has had a huge impact on her and says that she thinks he is "fucking brilliant" she is enamored by his ability to "take all of these broken pieces of himself and apply them to these different characters and heal through them and make use of them" and thinks it's beautiful. zach applies that analogy to what she has done with the album and ariana thanks him for it
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