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senjuhashirama · 2 years

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Symbols in Hashirama's jutsus and their implications, part 1

I really like the symbolism and themes in Hashirama’s jutsus, so I decided to do this deep dive into it. The religious / folklore symbols can give us a few ideas on Hashirama’s fighting style, personality, and perhaps intentions too. Although I generally don’t believe that Kishimoto did all of this consciously, there’s a few implications we can gather from it. I added plenty of links for concepts that might be unknown to the reader but that aren’t in the scope of this topic. You can either google them or just proceed on the links I provided. I also recommend reading it in google doc which is more practical, because I added descriptions of pics and it can be read better but it’s up to you - google doc.

1. Sage Art Wood Release: True Several Thousand Hand

This monstrous jutsu is, most likely, influenced by Eleven-faced and thousand-armed Kannon.

Originated in India, Kannon is a bodhisattva (which is someone who strives to achieve enlightenment and Buddhahood) who already achieved enlightenment, but decided to postpone Buddhahood to save all sentient beings from the cycle of suffering, therefore it is not Buddha. To put it another way, Kannon is known for indiscriminate compassion, and she is called a lord of mercy. That being said, another name for Kannon in Japan is Kanzeon, meaning the one who constantly surveys (kan 観) the wold (ze 世) listening to the sounds of suffering (on 音). Kannon is commonly depicted as a woman in Japan, sometimes with androgenous features, however she used to be depicted as a man in India.

Kannon has many forms and/or emanations (which is basically a duplication of enlightened mind), each having specifics and each watching over one of the six realms. The forms differ in accordance to specific text. In the manga, we can see two of the six main forms of Kannon mixed – Senju Kannon and 11-headed Kannon.

Senju Kannon, 1000-armed Kannon, is supposed to have 1000 arms including two “main” hands (although usually depicted with ~37 or ~42 for practical purposes). Senju Kannon watches over the hungry ghost realm. This form of Kannon is likewise prayed to avoid illness, eye problems and blindness. This can implicate Madara’s blindness, whether it’s literal (as sharingan making him go blind) or figurative.

What’s more, Hashirama’s statue has a few faces above the main face – a typical sign of Juichimen Kannon, who watches over the Asura realm. Although she’s called 11-headed Kannon, she doesn’t have 11 heads in every depiction and art. The main, big face, is supposed to show tranquility and compassion. The smaller heads above the main one usually show other emotions, like anger, compassion and cheerfulness. Statues and paintings show one more face placed on top of the head. It is popularly believed that the 10 faces are supposed to symbolize 10 stages of a path to attain enlightenment and the 11th is supposed to symbolize Buddha. However, Hashirama’s statue doesn’t have such a face. Instead, there’s a wooden golem sitting at the top.

That being said, Hashirama’s statue has one main face and one row of 8 faces around the head. 10th would be the golem’s face and 11th would be Hashirama’s own face. That way, Hashirama’s Kannon indeed has 11 heads.

According to folk tales, there’s another explanation for 11 heads. It says that a long time ago, Kannon promised to free all sentient beings from the cycle of suffering (samsara). After multiple failed attempts, her distress caused her head to be split into pieces. So she begged Buddha to help her, therefore Buddha gave her eleven heads to see the suffering. Kannon could finally see the suffering and she worked more to save everyone. But she still couldn’t save everyone, so the pain of her failures causes her arms to break apart. She begged Buddha to help her again and he granted her 1000 arms. Having 1000 arms, she could finally relieve the suffering. It’s not clear where this folktale came from.

In conclusion, the hands of Hashirama’s statue are supposed to alleviate the suffering of all people. I believe it can be read either as being ironic he’s using it to inflict pain through combat, but also as extremely explanatory, because Hashirama really wanted to alleviate Konoha’s suffering Madara was casting upon it (see Madara killed 3 vanguard units, killing innocent people). On the other hand, one of the tools typical Senju Kannon holds, is a sword, so there must have been some violence included in protecting the suffering sentient beings.

As typical for Kannon, Hashirama’s statue has a third eye that symbolizes a state of enlightenment. It also has a robe typical of the Japanese version of Kannon. Moreso, she has two main hands in front in praying position, which is also common for Kannon. Unlike Senju Kannon, Hashirama’s statue doesn’t hold any tools in her hands and the hands don’t have eyes, which is also a popular theme for Senju Kannon in art.

At first, we see Hashirama’s statue sitting strait in the Japanese way, which is how Kannon is shown in works that depict Amida and Attendants (one of the two main attendants being Kannon). The reason for this position is for them to stand up fast and help the dying people reach nirvana.

We can speculate that Hashirama’s statue stands up right after to help Madara reach some kind of enlightenment, to show him the way Madara doesn’t see.

Without a doubt, this jutsu is supposed to show us Hashirama’s compassion, calmness and his great urge to protect everyone, including, at first, Madara. In the end, he has to use it against Madara to win the combat, but he really saves the village.

Senju Kannon (1000 armed Kannon):

Juichimen Kannon (11-headed Kannon):

2. Wood Release: Wood Dragon Technique

Dragons (Ryū, Ryu, Ryuu 龍; I will talk here specifically about Chinese dragons that are usually considered a different creatures than Western dragons) are serpentine creatures whose task is to protect Buddhism. They’re considered extremely powerful, however unlike in western culture, they are usually good and bring wealth and good fortune.

Dragons originated in China and they’re connected to the element of wood, or water. They’re also associated with Spring and blue/green colors.

It is usually said that dragons have the head of a camel, horns of a deer, scales of a carp, paws of a tiger, eyes of a hare and claws of an eagle. They also have a whisker under the chin. They have a bump on the forehead that helps the dragon float up to the heavens.

Typically, dragons in Japan have three claws on each leg, however, Hashirama’s dragon has four. Classical Chinese imperial dragon has, in comparison, five, but according to Chinese mythology, dragons with less claws were used for lower rank officials or for the general public. Dragons in Korea and Indonesia also typically have four claws.

Dragons are swift and they usually control rain, rainstorms and typhoons. They can also shapeshift into a human and mate with humans.

Besides Hashirama using a mokuton version of dragon, in Naruto we can also see a water dragon, fire dragon, Mei’s water dragon, crystal dragon used by Guren and Orochimaru’s snake dragon.

3. Wood Release: Wood Human Technique

I can’t really decide what the main influence of this jutsu was, because I found two quite possible options. Because both are extremely vague and not much is known about them, I decided to do a write-up on both. This is actually all I could find and although I believe there must be more in ancient texts, internet doesn’t seem to provide more info.

Although neither of these options is a Buddha, Golem’s face is placed in the same place a Buddha’s face would be on Kannon.

Option A: Magoraka 摩睺羅伽

Magorakas are defined as serpentine musicians, or as serpents who walk on their breasts. Their folklore originates in India. They belonged to the Brahmanic pantheon and were associated with dragons they usually have around their torso or, in some depictions, they wear a crown of serpents. Sometimes, they are pictured as a monstrous snake, they are also considered “humans but not humans.” They are one of the Eight Deva Guardians of Buddhism, which is eight legions of sentient and supernatural beings that were present when Buddha expounded the Flower Sutra on Vultures Peak.

Some of their depictions have a third eye, just like Hashirama’s golem. Unfortunately, there aren't enough depictions. They, just like Hashirama’s golem, often wear serpent/snake/dragon around their torso. I was also wondering if the hair/crown on Hashirama’s golem head is supposed to be snakes or serpents. They also have a similar nose and eyebrows.

Option B: Ryūtōki 龍燈鬼 of Yaksha/Yasha

Ryuutoki is one of the Yaksha. Just like Magaroka, Yaksha is one of the groups of Eight Deva Guardians. Known to be brave fighters, they also used to be, in Hinduism manifestations, spirits of trees, forests and villages. It is said that later they converted to Buddhism. They can be both demonic or they can serve Gods as guardians. They do not have a definitive representation. Sometimes they can fly (or jump really well), just like Hashirama’s golem and they can also have fangs, which is also represented on Hashirama’s wooden golem. They share other similarities too – Yaksha are sometimes depicted with a third eye and large eyebrows. They can have horns and I wonder whether the “crown” on Hashirama’s golem is supposed to be horns after all.

It was suggested that Hashirama’s golem could be inspired by Ryūtōki, who is a Yaksha and he, just like Hashirama’s golem, wears a dragon/serpent around his torso.. His name means Dragon-Lamp Demon and he is associated with another Yaksha, Tentōki. According to a folk tale, they were once evil and demonic. After meeting Four Heavenly Kings, they were saved and decided to serve the Four Heavenly Kings. Since then, they carry lanterns for them.

Since Golem basically serves Hashirama and Ryuutoki was tamed by Four Heavenly Kings, I believe it’s supposed to symbolize Hashirama’s urge or ability to turn other people “good” and/or to defeat them, just like Four Heavenly Kings were doing.

Thank you for reading the first part of the symbols in Hashirama’s jutsu! I might write more one day. Currently there’s part 1 only.

Sources:

http://mesosyn.com/myth2-17.html

https://kankiten.com/magoraka/

https://www.slmoss.com/slm7600

https://hokkejimonzeki.or.jp/en/elevenfaced/

https://www.christies.com/en/lot/lot-5731729

https://www.japanese-wiki-corpus.org/Buddhism/Senju%20Kannon%20(Thousand-Armed%20Goddess%20of%20Mercy).html

https://www.onmarkproductions.com/

#hashirama #senju hashirama #mokuton jutsu #jutsu analysis #deep dive naruto #naruto meta #hashirama meta #wooden golem #1000 armed kannon #1000 armed buddha #long post #1900 words #naruto essay #hashirama symbols #hashirama buddhism #wooden dragon

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dontmeantobepoliticalbut · 3 years

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President Joe Biden on Thursday announced a number of new steps his administration will take to try to get more Americans vaccinated and slow the spread of coronavirus, including requiring that all federal employees must attest to being vaccinated against Covid-19 or face strict protocols.

The new measures come amid a rise in Covid-19 hospitalizations and deaths in the US. The vast majority of those individuals with severe cases of Covid-19 are unvaccinated.

"This is an American tragedy. People are dying -- and will die -- who don't have to die. If you're out there unvaccinated, you don't have to die," Biden said during remarks at the White House. "Read the news. You'll see stories of unvaccinated patients in hospitals, as they're lying in bed dying from Covid-19, they're asking, 'Doc, can I get the vaccine?' The doctors have to say, 'Sorry, it's too late.'"

In his sternest approach yet to pushing Americans to get vaccinated, the President bluntly argued that if you are unvaccinated, "You present a problem to yourself, to your family and to those with whom you work."

Biden said every federal government employee and on-site contractor will be asked to attest to their vaccination status.

Employees who have not been vaccinated "will be required to wear a mask on the job no matter their geographic location, physically distance from all other employees and visitors, comply with a weekly or twice weekly screening testing requirement, and be subject to restrictions on official travel," the White House said ahead of Biden's speech.

The federal employee vaccination requirement is not a mandate, officials have insisted, and most federal employees who do not get vaccinated will not lose their jobs as a result, CNN previously reported.

But the decision nonetheless marks a pivot away from encouraging Americans to get vaccinated in their own time and stepping toward placing the onus on unvaccinated individuals.

Other efforts the administration debuted Thursday to incentivize vaccinations included expanding paid leave for employees who take time off to get themselves and their family members vaccinated. Biden said employers would be reimbursed. He also called on states, territories, and local governments to do more to incentivize vaccination, including offering $100 to Americans getting vaccinated, paid for with American Rescue Plan funding.

"I know that paying people to get vaccinated might sound unfair to folks who got vaccinated already. But here's the deal: if incentives help us beat this virus, I believe we should use them. We all benefit," Biden said.

The President also announced that he is ordering the Department of Defense "to look into how and when they will add Covid-19 to the list of vaccinations our Armed Forces must get."

"Our men and women in uniform, who protect this country from grave threats, should be protected as much as possible from getting Covid-19," he said. "I think this is particularly important because our troops serve in places throughout the world, many where vaccination rates are low and disease is prevalent," Biden added.

All military and civilian Defense Department personnel will be asked to attest to their vaccination status, the department said Thursday evening. Those unable or unwilling to do so will "be required to wear a mask, physically distance, comply with a regular testing requirement and be subject to official travel restrictions," Jamal Brown, deputy Pentagon press secretary, said in a statement.

The department is also considering adding the Covid vaccine to the list of required vaccines for military personnel.

"Secretary (of Defense Lloyd) Austin will begin consulting our medical professionals, as well as the Joint Chiefs of Staff, to determine how and when to make recommendations to the President with respect to adding the COVID-19 vaccines to the full list of requirements for military personnel," Brown said.

The President on Thursday also called on school districts nationwide to host at least one pop-up vaccination clinic over the coming weeks in an effort to get more kids 12 and older vaccinated.

Responding to reporter questions after his remarks, the President said he didn't know yet whether the federal government had the power to require vaccines. "It's still a question whether the federal government can mandate the whole country" require vaccines, he said, adding that he expects the vaccines will be fully approved by the US Food and Drug Administration by the fall.

But soon after the President's speech, White House Covid-19 Response Coordinator Jeff Zients told CNN's Wolf Blitzer the administration is not considering a nationwide Covid-19 vaccine requirement.

"That's not an authority that we're exploring at all," Zients said on "The Situation Room."

On Monday, the Justice Department determined that federal law doesn't prohibit public agencies and private businesses from requiring Covid-19 vaccines -- even if the vaccines have only emergency use authorization so far. Biden's aides had previously said they do not believe he has the power to require all Americans to get shots. But his oversight of the federal workforce, they believed, can be a powerful model to other employers considering their options on requiring vaccines.

But several groups representing federal workers across the government are already raising concerns about the requirement for their personnel, including groups representing federal law enforcement officers, IRS managers and members of the US Border Patrol, among others.

Other groups, like the International Federation of Professional and Technical Engineers, have come out in support.

The goal of the requirement, Biden aides have said, is to render being unvaccinated so burdensome that those who haven't received shots will have little choice other than to get them. It's an approach being tested by leaders in Europe, including French President Emmanuel Macron, who required either proof of vaccination or a negative test at public venues. And some states, including New York, have also said government employees must either prove they've been vaccinated or be tested weekly.

The White House had previously indicated it would support private companies' decisions to mandate Covid-19 vaccinations, but Biden took it a step further on Thursday, saying that he'd like to see companies, states and schools move in the direction of requiring Covid-19 vaccination.

Dr. Rochelle Walensky, director of the CDC, said Wednesday on CNN that health passes for the fully vaccinated, such as those used in parts of Europe, "may very well be a path forward."

But the President appeared to put that responsibility on businesses -- not the federal government -- on Thursday.

"My guess is that if we don't start to make more progress, a lot of businesses and a lot of enterprises are going to require proof (of vaccination) or you're not going to be able to participate," Biden said.

The prevalence of the highly contagious Delta variant in the US and low vaccine uptake have led to the federal government to take a number of steps to further mitigate the spread of Covid-19.

Zients told Blitzer that the FDA is certain that Americans don't need boosters right now, but it will continue to monitor the data.

"If they do decide that Americans need boosters, we are ready," he said. "We have the supply, and people will be able to get a booster shot -- if it's needed -- in a fast and efficient manner."

Earlier this week, the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommended everyone -- including vaccinated individuals -- wear masks indoors in areas of substantial or high Covid-19 transmission. The agency also recommended masks for all K-12 children in schools, even those who have been vaccinated.

The Department of Veterans Affairs also recently announced it would require frontline health care workers to be vaccinated over the course of the next two months.

During his remarks on Thursday, Biden acknowledged frustrations over the nation's slow bounce back and the renewal of restrictions.

"We have the right plan. We're coming back. We just have to stay ahead of this virus," Biden said. "I know this is hard to hear. I know it's frustrating. I know it's exhausting to think that we're still in this fight. And I know that we hoped this would be a simple, straightforward line without problems or new challenges. But that isn't real life. (We're) coming out of the worst public health crisis in 100 years. The worst economic crisis since the Great Depression."

The latest data from the CDC indicates that 49.4% of the total US population is fully vaccinated. And despite a previous downward slope in the pace of vaccinations, 389,963 people are now initiating vaccination each day, according to the current seven day average.

This is the highest it's been in more than three weeks, but it's still lower than the pace set by millions who were receiving shots every day earlier this year.

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mldrgrl · 3 years

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Broken Things 14/24

by: mldrgrl Rating: varies by chapter, rated R overall See Chapter 1 for summary and notes

Sleep eludes him. He’s up most of the night punching his pillows as though they’re to blame for his insomnia or he’s pacing around his room. Several times he opens his door and stares at Katherine’s room, wondering if he should knock and apologize or burst in unannounced and demand an explanation.

It’s not quite dawn when he finally gets dressed and hitches a couple horses to the wagon, grabs an axe, and drives over to the wooded area along the creek. He’s chopping away as the sun rises, already dripping sweat when he hears the faint cry of the rooster in the distance. He can smell the smoke from the cookstove from where he is.

After two trees have fallen, he needs to take a break to drink some water and have a bit of the jerky and biscuits he’s brought with him for breakfast. When he sees Melvin riding out towards him a bit later, he takes a final dipper of water from the bucket he filled before he left and picks up the axe again.

“Them trees aggravatin’ you this morning, or what?” Melvin asks, dismounting from Faithful Jenny and leading her over beside the wagon.

“We’ll need them for the new corral,” he answers, never taking a break in his swings. “Thought I’d get a head start.”

“You want some help on it?”

“Nope.”

“You know I’m not aimin’ to get in the middle of things-”

“Then, don’t,” Mulder interrupts. He stops chopping at the tree he’s on and gives it a firm kick. The bottom tilts and cracks at a sharp angle, but doesn’t quite break. He kicks it again, but it doesn’t budge this time. So, he kicks it again. And again. And once more.

Mulder stops and drops the axe. He bends over with his hands on his knees, breathing hard. He takes one glove off and pulls out a handkerchief from his pocket which he uses to wipe his brow. It’s one that Katherine has monogrammed for him with her pretty little stitches. She gave it to him only a few days after settling in, telling him it wasn’t much, but it was something she could do to express her gratitude.

“What’d she tell you?” Mulder asks.

“Katherine? She didn’t tell me nothin’, though it’s not hard to tell she’s upset by something. And with you here hackin’ away at them trees, it don’t make it less obvious.”

“I’ve seen to it that she doesn’t want for anything, you know. I...I took her away from that godforesaken sod house, I gave her clothes and a room and a job to do and...and I’ve been kind, haven’t I?”

“Sure you have.”

“We were having a perfectly pleasant conversation on the porch last night and suddenly it just went all sideways and then she’s throwing around accusations like I think our marriage is a farce.”

“She said that?”

“Amongst other things, yes she did.”

“Well, I guess that is reason enough to come out here and take your frustrations out on them trees.”

“What else should I be doing? Talking in circles with my fictitious bride so she can hurl more baseless accusations at me?”

“If they’re baseless, why are you in such a tizzy?”

“Because they’re obviously not baseless to her, otherwise why else would she say that?”

“Hm.” Melvin strokes his beard into a point at his chin. “Womenfolk sure are complicated, that’s for sure.”

“You can say that again.”

“Did you ask her how she come by that notion about the marriage, or did you forget how to articulate?”

“Of course I asked her and all I got was some vague implication that I was somehow disrespecting her by hiring a surveyor to come out and make plans on the expansion. It’s not like she wasn’t aware that was the plan all along. You’d have thought it was a total surprise, the way she reacted.”

“When I was gettin’ hitched to Eliza, my Mama told me that the best advice she could give anyone startin’ out was not to let the sun go down on your anger.”

Mulder picks up his axe again and shakes his head. “Little late for that,” he says, choosing his next tree to fell. “The sun was already down anyhow.”

“You know you can be a real horse’s behind sometimes.”

“I am aware.” Mulder starts chopping again, swinging the axe at a cedar sapling.

“Alright, I’ll leave you be then.” Melvin hoists himself up into the saddle on Faithful Jenny’s back and turns the horse to home. He stops and turns back, passing the wagon so he’s closer to where Mulder is chopping, but still at a safe distance. “If’n you aim to prove her wrong about your marriage, it may be best not to let her stay in her misery for too long.”

“She has nothing to be miserable about. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Well, apologies don’t have to mean you were wrong, they could just mean you’re sorry for the hurtin’. You’re forgettin’ already what she’s been through.”

“I have not forgotten.” Mulder shoulders his axe and glares at Melvin. “Should I expect you’ll be taking her side of things from now on?”

“I’m not takin’ any sides. Just remindin’ you that you’re the one brung her here.”

“And that means I need to shoulder the blame for every argument we have from here to kingdom come?”

“Tarnation you must have about the thickest skull in the entire state of Texas. No, it doesn’t mean you’re to blame for everything, it just means that you’re the one that’s plum fool enough to marry a lady you don’t hardly know from Adam except she’s been dealt a sorry hand and then you want to go get all high and mighty about what you done like you deserve a dadgum medal of honor. Either you wanted to help her because of the goodness in your heart or you wanted a nice pat on the back. Which is it?”

“I wasn’t looking for any commendations.”

“Well, good, ‘cause folks might get an idea then of your marriage bein’ a farce or somethin’ like it.”

Melvin turns Faithful Jenny away from Mulder and clicks at her to ride away. Mulder scowls at his back. He doesn’t know why he’s being treated so harshly and unfairly all of a sudden. He’s turned his conversation with Katherine over and over again in his mind and he can’t find the logic in her being so upset. The only thing he knows is that he will clear this whole damned creek of trees before he apologizes for something when he doesn’t even know what he’s done wrong.

↭

When Mulder doesn’t come to breakfast, Katherine feels almost sick about it. She doesn’t eat, just serves the boys their meal and pretends she has too much to do to sit down that morning. She’s sure they won’t notice anyhow, they’re always distracted with planning for the day most of the time. They don’t even seem to be concerned that Mulder isn’t there. Melvin is the only one that looks at her like he knows something isn’t quite right.

When Mulder doesn’t come to noon dinner, Katherine feels a bit exasperated. She knows by then that he’s been by the creek all morning taking down trees. While she once preferred her late husband’s habit of disappearing for long lengths of time after an argument, she can’t say it feels the same to have Mulder do the same.

She’s so lost in her own thoughts that it takes her some time to realize that Melvin is washing up the dinner dishes. She jumps up from the table, mortified to have let that happen. Melvin waves her away.

“Go on, finish your dinner,” he says. “You didn’t hardly eat your breakfast, if at all. Let me do this. You can dry if’n you want.”

“I guess I’m just not very hungry today,” she answers.

“Well, I suppose I don’t got much of an appetite either when I got things weighin’ on my mind.”

She worries the wedding ring on her finger. It hasn’t escaped her that this has already become a nervous habit so quickly. To make better use of her hands, she grabs a dishrag and starts drying what Melvin has washed.

“We argued last night,” she says. “I suppose Mulder told you that?”

“He mentioned there was a disagreement of some kind. You may have already figured this out for yourself, but he can be as stubborn as an old goat sometimes.”

“Does he always do this? Avoid problems this way?”

“I haven’t known him to, but then again horse problems and lady problems aren’t really the same.”

“Should I bring dinner down to him, do you think?”

“I think he might appreciate that. If’n you think he’s stewed long enough with his thoughts.”

“I don’t know about him, but I think I’ve stewed long enough with mine.”

“Then you go ahead and do what you think is right.”

“I’ll pack something up right now.”

“Leave that dishrag with me so’s I can finish up here.”

Katherine drapes the dishrag over Melvin’s shoulder and starts to pack up some dinner to take to Mulder. She’s wrapping biscuits when there’s whistling and hollering outside. Melvin looks up and peers out of the small, square window above the wash basin.

“What is it?” she asks.

“Lord almighty,” he mutters, flinging water and soap suds from his hands as he turns and rushes to the door.

“Another panther?” she asks, following at his heels. “Should I get the gun?”

“Looks like there’s been an accident.”

“An accident?”

Katherine is out the door faster than Melvin, lifting her skirts as she runs across the ranch to where the men are shouting and the horses and wagon that Mulder had taken down to the creek are standing.

“What is it!?” she shouts. “What happened!?”

“He come rolling up just now and keeled over,” Jimmy says. “Felled right off the wagon.”

Katherine drops to her knees in the dirt where Mulder lays and immediately begins assessing his condition. His face is sunburnt, his skin is dry, his pulse is racing. She runs her hands over his head and finds a bit of a lump at the left side, but he’s not bleeding. His left shoulder is twisted under him at an unnatural angle. She looks up at the men standing over them.

“Should I run and fetch the doc?” Jimmy asks.

“His shoulder looks to be dislocated,” she says. “Which I can set back into place. And I believe he is suffering sunstroke.” She makes some quick determinations in her head about who can help best in what areas. “Melvin, go and fetch the doctor. Trevor, I’d like you to go in and start pumping water into the washtub. No need to light the furnace, we need it to be cool.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Trevor answers and runs off.

“Richard, can you find me some clean rags? Tear up some of the bedding I just washed if you have to.”

The other men leave quickly and it’s just Jesse, squatting low at Mulder’s feet and Jimmy hovering over her.

“I need you two to help me turn him onto his back,” she says, getting to her feet and kneeling again at Mulder’s left side. “Gently.”

Katherine holds onto Mulder’s shoulder and elbow to keep his arm in place as the men slowly roll Mulder onto his back. He groans softly and coughs once.

“Jimmy, you go down by his feet and just hold his ankles steady. I think he may already be in shock, but this still may hurt a bit and he might fight against the pain, but it’s best he be still.”

“What’re you gonna do to him?” Jesse asks.

“I’m going to be pulling the shoulder back into place, as gently as I can. Will you please hold him steady with a hand on his chest and right shoulder?”

When Jesse and Jimmy have their hold on Mulder, Katherine takes a deep breath and then starts to slowly draw Mulder’s arm up in an arc away from his side. As she pulls it up, she also pumps it softly until she’s reached a straight angle and she stops and looks from one brother to the other.

“Keep hold now,” she says. They nod their reply.

Katherine raises Mulder’s arm up, making small circles as she lifts from his wrist. Mulder groans again and he tries to kick his feet, but Jimmy holds steady.

“You’re alright,” Katherine says to Mulder, still drawing his arm up. “You’ll feel better in just a bit.”

Only moments later, Katherine feels the shoulder slide back into place and she lowers Mulder’s arm while cupping his elbow, bringing his forearm to rest across his belly. She feels his pulse again at his neck and shakes her head. It’s way too fast. His lips are chapped and white.

“Will you two be able to carry him in if we get him on a sheet?”

“I reckon we sure could,” Jesse says.

“Don’t move him until I come back.”

Katherine races to the house. She finds Richard at the linen cabinet in the dogtrot, ripping up pillow cases. She grabs one of the sheets and runs back to Mulder. When they have the sheet laid out the two men, under Katherine’s instruction, move Mulder onto it with as little jostling as possible. They lift from the sides per her direction and move swiftly to the house.

The wash room is not a large room, certainly not large enough to hold five people comfortably, especially when one of them is incapacited. She sends Trevor off to fetch her a glass of water with some salt in it and has Jesse and Jimmy lay out Mulder on the floor and then step away.

Quickly, and with nimble fingers, Katherine first unbuttons the suspenders on Mulder’s trousers. She then opens up all the buttons on his trousers and moves down to pull his boots and socks off. She pulls his trousers off and then calls out to Trevor to bring her the scissors from her sewing kit. When she has the scissors, she cuts Mulder’s shirt in half up from belly to chest so she can pull his right arm free and not have to move the left too much. With the remains of the shirt, she fashions a sling to hold his left arm.

She leaves his undershirt and drawers in place and then has Jesse and Jimmy lift him, sheet and all, into the washtub. The water doesn’t quite cover him so she pumps a bit more into the tub. Richard brings her the rags and Trevor brings her the cup of water and the salt tin.

“I just put a pinch of salt in,” Trevor says. “I don’t know if that was enough.”

“Thank you, that’s just fine. Will you do me one more favor and get me a spoon and one of the ash buckets? Just be sure it’s empty.”

“Yes, Ma’am!” Trevor races out of the room.

Katherine kneels beside the tub and begins to dip the rags into the water and place them behind Mulder’s neck and on his forehead. She dabs his cheeks and jaw. Trevor returns with the spoon and the bucket. Jesse brings her a stool to sit on so she doesn’t have to kneel.

“Is there anything else I can do?” he asks.

“Not at the moment. I’ll call for you when it’s time to get him out.”

“Alright, we’ll stay close by.”

“Thank you.”

Jesse closes the door behind him and she sits with Mulder, alternating soaking rags and patting his neck and face and spooning him salted water. His eyes slide open after a bit and roll around. His pupils are two different sizes, which worries her, and his gaze is a little disoriented.

“Mulder?”

“Where’m I?” he mumbles.

“You’re in the bathing tub. I think you may have had sunstroke and you fell from the wagon. Can you tell me how many fingers I’m holding up?” She holds up three fingers and he blinks and stares at her hand.

“Three?”

“That’s good. How do you feel?”

“Dizzy. Cold. My arm aches.” He reaches up with his right hand to try to touch his shoulder, but she catches his hand and holds it.

“You dislocated your shoulder, but it’s fine now. It’ll probably be sore for a few days.”

“I did?”

“I need you to drink a little water, can you do that?”

“Okay.”

Katherine lets go of Mulder’s hand and brings the cup to Mulder’s mouth. She holds the back of his neck to help him sip, but won’t let him take much yet.

“I’m so thirsty,” he says, trying to bring his lips back to the cup.

“I know, you just need to drink slowly otherwise it might make you sick.”

He finishes the cup of water, slowly, with her help. She puts the back of her hand to his cheek and then dabs at his face again with a soaked rag. He lays passively for some time, almost like he’s dreaming, but then he starts to shift and seems to gain more awareness bit by bit.

“You know, if you wanted me in my underthings, all you had to do was ask,” he says suddenly, smiling a little and turning his head towards her.

“I think we can get you out of the tub now.”

#i wrote this #broken things #chapter 14 #MSR #AU

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doctors-star · 3 years

Note

6 &/or 22

send me a prompt

6. hiraeth - a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past

22. basorexia - the overwhelming desire to kiss

“Howdy, Will Williams.”

The dark head flicks abruptly up and round, spine straightening guiltily out of a lazy slouch. As he turns, Will runs a quick hand through his hair to push the longer locks back and then jams his hat on his head, as though likely to be scolded for not wearing it; then he actually notices who the intruder is, and his shoulders relax out of their habitual tension. “Johnny McPherson” he says with a blink-and-miss-it half smile, nudging the bridge of his thin wire-rimmed glasses with the tip of his thumb. “Didn’t hear you coming.”

Johnny spares a moment to be gently, internally amused by this as he slings his leg out of the stirrup and over his horse’s rear, dropping neatly to the ground. He had, after all, ridden over to the man’s campsite at the foot of the rocky outcrop and made no attempt to be quiet about doing so: his horse had huffed and snorted; the hooves had sounded against the beaten earth; Will’s own horse had raised his head from the bag he had been nosing at and whickered at them. And Will, Lord help him, had been too busy watching coyotes to notice a damn thing. How the man ever even found the animals was beyond Johnny; sometimes he reckons a man could set fire to Will Williams’ boots in a darkened room and he’d only move his book closer to the light so’s he could read it better.

He nods in the vague direction of the prairie and whatever had held Will’s attention so thoroughly. “Your coyotes behavin’ today?”

Will smiles again, just as fast as before. All of Danser Town will be damned if they have any idea what, exactly, it is that Will Williams has come out west to do; explanations are offered and eyes glaze over, but Johnny reckons he was told something about animal behaviour and Will hasn’t since told him different. Probably on account of how he won’t listen, or remember, or ever understand why it matters how good or bad an animal acts, but this here is a good enough joke anyhow. “It’s, it’s buffalo, today,” Will corrects gently, pointing at the smudge of brown on the landscape downwind that will, if one focusses, coalesce into a herd of enormous, shaggy creatures with hunched spines and bad-tempered expressions.

Johnny squints under the brim of his hat, and then nods. It is, indeed, buffalo today. “Bought you a present,” he says cheerfully, looping his reins over the same branch as Will’s and turning to his saddlebag.

Will’s eyes narrow slightly in suspicion, but his lips turn up at one corner too, like he’s been handed a riddle he reckons is funny but whose punchline he doesn’t quite have figured yet. “You did?” he says, awful careful.

“Sure,” Johnny says, making the effort to sound slightly wounded that Will would ever expect anything but the kindest friendship from him as he roots in the bag. When he flicks his eye Will’s way, he can see that the smile has advanced into a bitten lip and the dark eyes have narrowed yet further. “I brought you some of Ma Masham’s bread-” he produces a paper-wrapped parcel about the size of two fists and chucks it to Will, watching his eyes light up as he moves to catch it. Ma Masham makes good bread. He allows Will to peel the brown paper back a ways and inhale deeply, and then finishes his sentence. “-’cause she reckons you ain’t eating enough out here and you’re too small.”

Will tips his head back far enough to knock his own hat off and groans. He looks remarkably child-like, sometimes, with his thin frame, and his eyes very dark in his pale face, and his propensity for sitting cross-legged in the dust and watching animals. “I’m a grown man,” he says petulantly. “I’m not getting any taller, now.”

“Well,” Johnny says very reasonably, with a much less reasonable smile, “she reckons you didn’t get fed enough when you weren’t grown, and if you don’t eat it all and grow six inches it’ll all be my fault.” He frowns. “Though I’m damned if I know why.”

Will breaks off a corner of the loaf and sticks it in his mouth. “You’re tryin’ to walk out with Ma Masham’s daughter,” he points out through the mouthful.

“I am not tryin’ to walk out with Ma Masham’s daughter!” Johnny says firmly and indignantly. Will raises an eyebrow. “I’m doing a very good job of walking out with Jody Masham.” Will snorts and eyes him around another lump of bread, awaiting what Finn has taken to calling - usually with a dramatic groan - the inevitable. Jody Masham - lord, there’s a pretty girl. “She’s got eyes like starlight, does Miss Masham,” he sighs, gazing wistfully out over the prairie. “Prettiest girl I ever saw.”

Will mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like this week as he shifts to face Johnny and leans back on his palms. Johnny ignores it.

“Her hair’s softer’n anything,” he says instead, and abruptly his heart is too full; he reckons if the sun doesn’t beat some warm good sense into him he’ll clean float away; and he has to sweep his hat from his head and press it to his chest, face turned up to the light.

“Oh, good lord,” a giggling voice says from somewhere near his knee, but he pays it no mind.

“Gold like the sun and worth twice as much,” he sighs, Jody Masham’s face floating before his eye. What he wouldn’t do to hold her close, breathe her in, press his lips to hers-

Something hits his knee and his surroundings come rushing back to him abruptly. At his foot is one of Will’s gloves; Will himself is angling a particularly severe raised eyebrow his way, but he is also grinning as he squints into the sun behind Johnny. “You come all this way to moon over Jody Masham, or what?”

“What,” Johnny says, collecting himself and turning back to the bag. “You got some cheese from the Wilder ranch, and one of old man German’s good sausages, and I brought you a waterskin but I put some beer in it.” Johnny grins at Will’s expression of surprise. “So. Reckon I earned some mooning.”

“Did the whole town have a, a whip-round for me?” Will says, frowning as he reaches out for the second paper parcel Johnny hands over.

Johnny shrugs, trying to look winning and charming as he leans against the saddle and obscures the still half-full bag. “That’s just Danser hospitality, I guess.”

Will’s gaze flickers over to him suspiciously. “And, and you rode all the way out here, just to fetch me dinner?”

“Sure,” Johnny tries, and knows as soon as he’s said it he’s misstepped; he says sure like that too innocently, always has, and Will’s eyes narrow. “Also I brought you your doctor’s bag just in case-” he says, all too quickly, only getting louder when Will groans. “Might be nothin’,” he wheedles. “Just in case.”

“Do I want to know what you all are going to do?” Will asks, glaring at the leather bag which Johnny guiltily retrieves and places by Will’s very aged, much cleaned boots. “Probably not, huh.”

“Might be nothin’,” Johnny says again, but Will does not look mollified. “Just - would be nice to know you was ready, if it was something. Come on, Doc Dubya.”

Will shoots him an unimpressed look for the nickname. Most folks call him Williams, or Will, but one of the Wilder kids had reckoned Doc Dubya was easier and more fun than sounding out Mister Double-you Williams; it had half stuck, reappearing usually when someone wanted him to come out and doctor for them. “I am not a doctor,” Will says sharply, accent coming out all clipped; all north-eastern, Nova Scotia, old money-sounding, the way it always does when he’s real cross about something. Johnny winces slightly. “This,” Will says, shaking the leather case at him, “is not a doctor’s bag. It’s - it’s an anatomy kit with some old linen scraps for bandages. I’m a naturalist. I can’t - can’t fix you all when you’ve gone and done something stupid.”

Johnny spreads his hands wide and shrugs apologetically. “Ain’t no-one else can do it better,” he points out, running his first knuckle and thumb over his moustache quickly. As nervous tics go, it’s unfortunate; he can only barely pass it off as vanity when he’s playing poker with Diaz, and then only because Diaz is usually too focussed on his own poker face to mind Johnny’s.

Will gives him the stink-eye and he scrambles quickly back onto his horse, patting her dun neck when she dances under him and huffs about the sudden movement. He tries to think of something to say: something that will count as apology and gratitude and, crucially, won’t make Will Williams, the only man even nearly a doctor within a day’s ride of Danser Town, pack up his knapsack and his case and ride for the railway on the other side of the territory and its trains back to Saint John.

Nothing comes to mind.

“Good luck with your buffalo,” Johnny says, offering a hopeful smile.

He doesn’t get more than twenty yards before Will raises his voice. “What time are you all going to be done doing whatever it is I don’t know you’re doing?”

Johnny grins to himself, suffused with warmth and relief. When he twists in the saddle, Will is prodding at the dusty ground with a stick thoughtfully. His brows are downturned in a frown, but there’s a tension to his profile and Johnny reckons he’s doing that thing he does, when the young men of the town are congregated - slightly too many in a space slightly too small - all of ‘em a little drunk and a little loud and making Will more’n a little nervy, but even though he’s tense and awkward and quiet he’s smiling - only, usually with the side of his face that they can’t see. He reckons Will might have forgiven him.

He shrugs. “Nineish, maybe. You’ll get a cut of whatever we don’t earn, doing whatever it is we’re not doing.”

Will huffs in amusement and Johnny doesn’t bother counting over his negatives to figure out if what he’d said made any kind of sense, anyhow. “Alright. I, I won’t see you then.”

Johnny beams. “Will Williams, you’re the sturdiest fella I ever did see.”

And this time, even though he’s already riding away, there’s no mistaking it - “This week!” Will hollers at his retreating back.

“Lord,” Finn sighs, chin in one palm and leaning sideways over the table. “I am tired of Corey County. We must be the only territory in the state without a goddamn railway. I ain’t gonna die in some dingey backwater without even a railway.”

Will shoots him a look under his brows but says nothing, just sniffs, pushes his glasses up his nose, and goes on winding clean white linen around Finn’s bicep. Johnny tops up their whisky glasses and pushes one Finn’s way with his fingertips. “Naw, probably not,” he agrees thoughtfully. Finn cocks his head and Johnny spreads his hands in explanation. “Way I see it, you ain’t gonna die horse-rustling, even if you do do something stupid like, say, get yourself all nicely backlit by the ranch lights and then hoot and holler ‘til someone comes and shoots you-”

Will’s head snaps up. “That’s how you got shot?” he says, neither impressed nor gentle.

Finn shrugs awkwardly with only one arm, looking a little embarrassed. “Pascal and Ted were getting hassled.” That about seems to cover it, as far as Finn’s concerned; he drops his chin back into his hand and waits for Johnny to carry on, leaving Will glowering at his ginger curls.

“Alright, well, you ain’t gonna die like that,” Johnny says. “You’re gonna go out doing something truly dumb, like trying to rob a train on your own ‘cause of how you got bored, or something - stands to reason, then, that you ain’t gonna die in a backwater with no railway. You gotta go to the railway, or wait for the railway to come to you, and then you can kick it in some grand old blaze of glory.”

Finn considers this, and then grins. “Thanks, Johnny, you’re a real pal.” Will looks like he’s considering abandoning them to their idiocy; with his almost preternatural sense of when, exactly, he is likely to be denounced as lacking the sense God gave a gopher, Finn twists to beam at Will over his bandage. “Doctor, I’m cured.”

Will glances at him sharply. “Sure,” he mutters. “So long as we never get a railway, and you never go where one is, I can be sure you all will be doing something only reasonably stupid.”

“Y’all know me,” Finn says cheerfully. “Something stupid to be done, I’ll come running.” Will tucks away the end of the bandage and Finn stretches carefully, shaking his head and tidying a few loose curls out of his eyes. Not to be outdone, Johnny works the ribbon out of his own hair and tosses his head like a stallion, shaking shoulder-length, glossy blond waves so that they sparkle in the lamplight. It’s a practised gesture; what, after all, is the point in having well-oiled, lustrous hair the envy of every woman in the state if one doesn’t know how to present it? Even if only for a pair of singularly unimpressed friends.

“You’re not stupid,” Johnny says magnanimously. Must be hard, after all, to be Finn and have hair more inclined to corkscrew outward than lie flat and sleek, or to be Will and have a chin barer than kids half his age.

“No,” Will agrees dryly. “Stupid would be walking out with Jody Masham, making eyes at Peggy West, and swooning every time Anne-Marie Dodds so much as glances your way - all at once.”

Johnny’s jaw drops at this abject betrayal and he gives up on magnanimity. Will doesn’t deserve good facial hair. Finn cackles in delight. “Miss Dodds an’ all?” he laughs. “Peggy West’s best friend - Johnny, you’re gonna wind up with a hole in your head or a ring on your finger if you ain’t careful.”

He snaps his mouth shut and rises manfully above such comments. What do they know, anyway - Peggy West won’t shoot him, and with a bit of luck she’ll keep her pa from doing it either. Sure, she and Anne-Marie are pretty girls, but they’ve made his role plenty clear: he’s to court without expectation, so’s they can avoid courters with expectations. Jody knows; knows, too, about Cathy in the bigger town to the east whom he rides out to see sometimes, and they’re all content as can be. Let Will and Finn say what they like - Johnny walks out with the prettiest girls in the territory, and lord are they pretty.

“We’ve lost him,” Finn says conspiratorially.

Their hair - the clothes - they’re so delicate yet firm - he longs to feel their curves beneath his palms-

“Totally gone,” Will agrees.

Johnny sprawls over the table, chin in one hand. “Girls,” he sighs, and manages no more.

Will rolls his eyes and Finn nudges him carefully with his injured elbow. “That could be you,” he says, “if you’d only look helpless and lonely in eyesight of a lady.”

Will looks at Johnny with deep apprehension. “If it’ll do that, Johnny can keep ‘em.”

“Is there a name for it?” Johnny asks the ceiling philosophically. Ideally, they’d be out of doors and staring at the desert stars; as it is, there’s only peeling paper and discoloured rafters of which to demand explanations. It’ll do. “For wanting so badly to kiss a person, to be with them - so much you burn up with it?”

“Lust,” Will, the good little Methodist says.

“The clap,” Finn says brightly.

Johnny gives them both the stink eye and Finn laughs; Will just ducks his head in a fruitless attempt to hide his bright, broad grin. “Aw, y’all are the worst.”

It’s quiet for a minute as they drink their whisky and relax into the hard wooden seats as best they can. Will’s rooms above the saloon are not awful large, and not at all comfortable, but they don’t cost him much and no-one asks about the occasional bloodied shirt on his late-night visitors. Danser Town isn’t large enough for the general populace not to know that the band of young men with money to spend and no discernable employment are likely up to no good, but no-one asks questions and no-one tells lies and it all shakes out in the end. But - Will’s from out east, and he went to college, and his words have a touch of money about them sometimes. What’s he doing out here, watching buffalo?

Finn must be having the same thought, because he shifts awkwardly before speaking. “Say, Will, why not get some place nicer than this? Get you a ranch, or something.”

Will snorts. “What would I do with a claim? I’m no farmer. Besides, I can’t afford a whole house to myself.”

“Why not?” Finn presses. “Ain’t you one of them rich Yanks?”

Johnny winces a little at the blunt question. Will tips his head on side. “Not - really,” he says. “First - I’m Canadian. Second, all I have is here.”

“But you went to college,” Johnny finds himself saying.

“Sure,” Will says, folding his long, pale fingers into an awkward knot. His shoulders have tensed up around his ears again; Finn notices and bumps their arms carefully together. “But - my folks paid for that. And I left. So.”

It sounds kinda like Will doesn’t miss ‘em. “You ever want to go back?” Finn asks.

Will makes a face. “No. I - I like it here.”

Johnny nods, filled with some sort of strange pride and satisfaction. Will can stay, and be happy here - that suits. “I don’t,” Finn says brightly.

“Why’re you still here, then?” Johnny can’t help asking. Finn’s only been here six months or so and he’d lived in half the states west of Georgia before that; the man seems to move like his feet are on fire. So, either he’s got better at horse rustling in Danser and not been caught so fast, or it’s something else.

Finn shrugs. “Y’all won’t come with me,” he says simply, like it ain’t nothing to be so openly, overtly fond of another person. Will looks like he might fall off his chair in surprise at just hearing him say it. Finn sighs and stretches his legs out before him, crossed at the ankle. “I like moving,” he explains, “but y’all don’t. I don’t wanna stop, but I don’t want - I want to go, but I don’t want to leave.” He spreads his hands as if that ought to pretty much cover it.

“Why do you like travelling so much?” Will says after a quick slug of his drink. He looks a bit unsteady, although if that’s due to the whisky or Finn being kind Johnny couldn’t say.

Finn shrugs. “Feels sometimes like I’m looking for somewhere, you know? Somewhere I never been, but I’m gonna know it when I get there. Where it all makes some kind of sense. Is there-” Finn huffs a laugh and looks at Johnny. “Is there a word for that - sickening after a place you never seen, but you know it’s easy, like when you were a kid?”

Johnny raises his glass to him with half a smile. He’s got no joke for that.

Will blinks, tilts his head like a bird, and then opens his mouth and says something strange-sounding and smooth.

Finn and Johnny blink at him in polite incomprehension.

“My, my mother’s folks were from Ontario, but before, before that Wales,” he explains. “Hiraeth. It means - well, what you said.”

“Huh,” Finn says. Then grins. “Well, now I don’t feel half so special and one-of-a-kind.”

“Oh,” Will says, sounding apologetic, “I didn’t-”

“Lord, I hope there’s only one man like you, Finn Holden,” Johnny interrupts with a grin. “You’re already too much to handle.”

“Aw,” Finn says, slinging his wounded arm gently around Will’s narrow shoulders and squeezing gently until the tension relaxes out of him once more. “Y’all love me, don’tcha?”

Will smiles - genuine, but a little shy. Johnny feels his own face form an answering - and disgustingly fond - smile. “Send us to an early grave though it may,” he says, winking at Will and raising his glass to them all.

#[with increasing enthusiasm] cowboys cowboys cowboys #can't believe i liked a picrew so much i'm doing original fiction now #and about americans of all people!#anyway. hope u enjoy.#because i'm absurdly fond of them all so #cowboys #original fiction #this is your captain speaking #a town called danser

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unaskedformagnustheories · 4 years

Text

UNASKED FOR MAGNUS THEORY #4: THE SILENT

This week’s theory is one of my more self-indulgent. It’s also probably being proven wrong as I type. So if you see this and you’ve listened to MAG 181 already, try not to laugh at me too badly. I just want to get it down before I have to refile this Google Doc under “dead wrong” tomorrow. What is this crazy, semi-coherent theory you ask? Well? Basically I think Adelard Dekker, Mikaele Salesa, Gertrude Robinson(?), Gerard Keay, Christopher Meyer (and maybe the coroner’s uncle from MAG 36 and Alard Dupont) might have been part of an underground society that figured out how to weaponize the powers by fragmenting/channeling multiple entities at the same time - evading attention while manipulating things to their own end.

Read on for my decent into madness.

EXHIBIT A: The Key of Solomon. Acquired by Gertrude Robinson in 2007, The Key of Solomon caught my eye with the following passage - found on a torn scrap of paper found by The Archivist in his exploration of the tunnels under The Magnus Institute (MAG 70): “They have for adversaries the Satariel, or concealers, the Demons of absurdity, of intellectual inertia, and of Mystery”. While I don’t think actual demons will come into play this late in the game, this is a very interesting quote taken from a book that we later learn was “one of the few volumes that contained elements from several powers” (MAG 80). In that same episode Leitner confirms the book was destroyed after proving itself to be too volatile, but could it be Gertrude learned a few tricks before disposing of the thing? The person who told Jurgen Leitner about the books called them “coded spell books”, and while Leitner seemed dismissive of this description, I wonder if there’s a kernel of truth in the simplification.

EXHIBIT B: We know that opposing powers can cancel each other out. Gertrude used a man touched by The Vast to stop The Buried’s ‘Sunken Sky’ ritual. Heck, she contemplated using Gerry to stop The Unknowing because of his affiliation with The Eye. The Ceaseless Watcher has trouble seeing anything to do with The Dark, etc., etc., but what happens when you combine three or more powers? Answer: silence. Like Smirke’s buildings, and Breekon & Hope’s depot after it’s been cleared out - places where multiple powers interact are described as empty. Silent. Almost as if they can’t exist in one space without creating some sort of self-destructive feedback loop. Is it so impossible to think someone with enough canny could channel that? Use it for their own purposes? EXHIBIT C: Adelard Dekker. In MAG 63 whilst trapping the Not-Them in a table, the statement-giver observes that Dekker’s lips were “moving rapidly though no sound came out of them”. In other words, he was silent. Somehow managing to wield a power strong enough to actively contain the creature. It’s potentially a stretch, but Jon also notices Not!Sasha has torn strips of paper when he goes rifling in her desk (MAG 57). We know that Not!Sasha went poking about the tunnels as well. Is it possible she also took interest in the remains of The Key of Solomon? Was she trying to understand or gird herself against whatever had left her vulnerable when she was bound?

[Archivist’s Note: Dekker is also described as wearing an outfit similar to the one Gerry Keay is found in when he arrives at St. Thomas’ with Diego Molina. It might be a bit on the nose to assume there’s a uniform if these folks are as organized as I’m making them out to be (they could be completely free agents who stumbled on the same hack), but I’m also not saying there isn’t.] EXHIBIT D: Gerry Keay’s poster. One of the first times we see our collective dead gay goth son (MAG 4) the statement giver comments on a poster supposedly painted by Mr. Keay bearing the caption: “Grant us the sight that we may not know. Grant us the scent that we may not catch. Grant us the sound that we may not call”. Tacked onto the bottom of a giant eye, the painting seems to only lend itself to one entity, but we know Gerry never fully gave himself to The Eye and the caption seems to speak to concealment. To silence. Even mysterious scents seem to be a reoccurring phenomena in the Magnus universe in places touched by more than one power. Did he know more than he let on when he met Gertrude? Do I maybe just want his last thoughts to be more resonant? “[His mother] would not claim his last moment. He was silent” (MAG 63).

EXHIBIT E: When Gerry wakes up in St. Thomas he’s missing both a red-leather bound book, and a brass amulet (I need to make a separate post about how I think brass is used to trap/contain the entities at some point), but for now I’m mostly interested in the fact that he tells the nurse ‘Yes. For you, better beholding than the lightless flame” as if he has a choice. As if he has any modicum of control on what happens next.

CONCLUSION: This tinfoil hat really is tight. I might have to have it surgically removed. I know I didn’t really get into how Salesa is involved (really, it’s mostly because Annabelle Cane has taken an interest), or how I think he was meeting Alard Dupont in 1982 when Trevor Herbert killed him, or that I suspect if Gertrude was part of the gang, she went rogue and Salesa (and maybe Adelard?) faked his own death when they realized she was more of a threat than an ally. As always, I am very much aware that I’m probably over-complicating things and just need to go take a nap. SUPPLEMENTAL: I lied. I’m going to give a quick and dirty version of why I think brass is a method of containing the entities here:

1. Gerry’s brass pendant (MAG 12). 2. Brass grate covering the entrance to the Serapeum of Alexandria (MAG 53) 3. Brass boxes in Christopher Meyer’s house, holding assorted artifacts touched by the entities (MAG 60) 4. Brass urn requested by John Amherst (MAG 36) - this one’s odd because it’s requested by John Amherst, but if the coroner’s uncle who seems to know more than he’s letting on is a part of this same secret society here, Amherst might just be taunting him. Rubbing his face in it, as it were. 5. The Sarcophagus wrapped in copper bands (MAG 64). Copper, yes, but brass is an alloy made from combining copper & zinc, so this might just be an early attempt. 6. A brass handle is on the door containing the first victim from MAG 86, Tucked in. It is worth noting that the statement giver here, was convinced someone else had been in the house before he called the police. A belief that is ignored/dismissed. Could it have been someone we know trying to trap the beast? SUPPLEMENTAL TO THE SUPPLEMENTAL: In MAG 95, Basira is seen reading “Introduction to Alchemy” - talking about Venus and the various properties of copper. If there is something here, is she hip to the trade secret? She’s certainly extremely good at being silent/popping up without people noticing her, but I have no idea if it’s intentional, or if she’s just stumbled across something. Seriously, if you’ve made it this far, thank you for listening to my TED talk. You’re awesome. I’m insane, and I don’t know how the eff you pulled something sensible from that cesspool of text. but it’s fun not to be in this alone! Cheers

#the silent #tma #tma theories #the magnus archives #jon sims #jonathin sims #gerry keay #mikaele salesa #adelard dekker #gertrude robinson #basira hussain #the key of solomon #getting down to brass tacks #no?#that pun was awful?#alrighty #i'll be seeing myself out

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traincat · 4 years

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opinions on the new taylor swift album (in terms of spider-man ships) ? 👀👀

YES okay yes I have lots of thoughts. One of my favorite things is when a new Taylor Swift album comes out and I get to decide which songs are what Spider-Man ships. I did a twitter thread about this when the album first came out, which has my initial reactions, but I’ve had time to sit with it now, so let’s dive back in:

the 1: first reading is this is a Peter/Felicia post-breakup. But we were something, don't you think so?/Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool/And if my wishes came true/It would've been you.

(Spectacular Spider-Man #112)

However, I think Taylor Swift’s oeuvre is one especially good for applying to One More Day from Mary Jane’s point of view (New Year’s Day, anyone?) and the 1 doesn’t let us down here.

I have this dream you're doing cool shit/Having adventures on your own/You meet some woman on the Internet and take her home/We never painted by the numbers, baby/But we were making it count/You know the greatest loves of all time are over now. (ASM #561)

cardigan: My first impression was that this is like the ultimate college years Peter/MJ/Gwen song -- leaning slightly more towards the GwenMJ leg of the love triangle/threesome -- and I have not changed on that front. Sequin smile, black lipstick/Sensual politics/When you are young, they assume you know nothing? A friend to all is a friend to none/Chase two girls, lose the one?? 'Cause I knew you/Stepping on the last train/Marked me like a bloodstain??? Tried to change the ending/Peter losing (G)Wendy?????????????

You drew stars around my scars, but now I’m bleeding/”She saw through the party girl mask I always wore. Saw the frightened, abused kid inside.” (Marvel 1000)

the last great american dynasty: this one’s a little too biographical to work for a Spider-Man ship but I think it could be a good women of Spider-Man song. The maddest woman this town has ever seen etc etc. Alternatively it’s for the version of canon where Doc Ock marries May for her nuclear power plant inheritance and then she turns the tables and poisons him for his criminal empire. good for her.

exile: look, this is a love triangle tragic breakup song, and Spider-Man is the king of both of these things. I’m going to make a call and say that exile, while I think it’s both an excellent PeterFelicia and PeterMJ, leans towards PeterMJ after MJ rejects his first proposal, when they’re seeing other people but everyone keeps trying to get them back together. I can see you starin', honey/Like he's just your understudy/Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me/Second, third, and hundredth chances/Balancin' on breaking branches/Those eyes add insult to injury.

The dueling narration of 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) and I never learned to read your mind (Never learned to read my mind) is a pretty perfect early PeterMJ summary.

my tears ricochet: okay okay okay so my tears ricochet + mad woman are my ideal “Gwen Stacy gets a resurrection revenge narrative ala Bucky Barnes and Jason Todd” song duo. And if I'm on fire/You'll be made of ashes, too.

mirrorball: Taylor Swift released THE definitive Mary Jane Watson song in 2020. We are talking about the feminine art of performance, we are talking about masks, we are talking about trauma baby!!! I want you to know/I'm a mirrorball/I can change everything about me to fit in/You are not like the regulars/The masquerade revelers/Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten.

I've never been a natural/All I do is try, try, try (ASM #143)

We are ALSO thinking about Mary Jane’s iconic mirrored mini dress from ASM #59. An entire Mary Jane anthem.

seven: this song CRIES OUT for childhood friends, which Spider-Man is a bit lacking in, what with the entire friend group coming together in college, but in my head it belongs to a version of canon where Gwen and Mary Jane were friends as children and lost touch with each other. alternatively, it’s the Peter/Flash childhood friends song, since they’re as close as we get to childhood friends in canon, and also because these lyrics in conjunction with that make me want to cry: And I've been meaning to tell you/I think your house is haunted/Your dad is always mad and that must be why/And I think you should come live with/Me and we can be pirates/Then you won't have to cry.

Also, “just like a folk song, our love will be passed on” makes me cry thinking about longform storytelling like superhero comics so like that’s fun. A real Spidey fivesome sort of feeling.

august: I’ve been thinking about it, and I think this is a Peter/Betty set during their initial romantic relationship. Your back/Beneath the sun/Wishing I could write my name on it/Will you call when you're back at school?/I remember thinking I had you.

this is me trying: A FLASH THOMPSON SONG. Like, I think “I didn’t know if you’d care if I came back/I have a lot of regrets about that” is a big PeterMJ sentiment during several key points of their relationship, but overall the vibe of this song is a Flash. Probably a Peter/Flash, while we’re at it.

illicit affairs: okay, in my heart, I want this to be another Peter/Betty, because the point in canon where they’re sleeping together behind Ned’s back is just so sexy of them, and it’s a favorite fictional extramarital affair. However, I also don’t feel like this song is straight enough as its core to be about them. I also feel like “and you want to scream don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby” is a BIG Gwen Stacy mood. So I’m kind of leaning towards an MJ/Gwen affair while PeterGwen is happening. Which would also be very fun of them all. I think at a push we could also make this a Peter/Flash while Flash is seeing Sha Shan, if we wanted to warp canon around to have a good time. What I’m saying is Spider-Man should have a few more affairs in its body of canon. For the song.

mad woman: I mentioned this up with my tears ricochet but we’re going to say AGAIN for the people in the BACK: this is a Gwen Stacy jam. If they were ever to make an extremely good movie about resurrected Gwen on a murderous revenge spree, this song should be playing in it. What do you sing on your drive home?/Do you see my face in the neighbor's lawn?/Does she smile?/Or does she mouth "fuck you forever"?

(Spider-Island: Deadly Foes) Also, not that the Gwen clones get like, full narratives or are allowed to be their own individual characters like the Peter clones (it’s the misogyny) but if they were, mad woman would be such a good Gwen clone song. No one likes a mad woman/You made her like that.

epiphany: this is very rare for me in Taylor Swift’s discography, but I think this is really a Peter solo song.

Crawling up the beaches now/Sir I think he’s bleeding out (Peter Parker #89)

betty: You have no idea how badly I wanted this to be a Peter/Betty, but it is just not. I think there’s a version of Spider-Man high school canon though where this is a Betty/Liz.

peace: This album is light on Taylor Swift Spideytorch hits -- previous examples including Love Story and Call It What You Want To, among many others -- but peace is such a Spideytorch. But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm/If your cascade ocean wave blues come/All these people think love's for show/But I would die for you in secret/The devil's in the details/But you got a friend in me/Would it be enough/If I could never give you peace?

(ASM #790) @bipeteparker said that Johnny COULD give Peter peace but they’re dramatic, so it works, and I stand by that, but I also like it with the juxtaposition of their lives -- Johnny being so famous and such a public figure and Peter having eschewed that life by keeping the mask on.

hoax: and we’re closing the album the same way we started! I think there are various Spider-Man readings you could do, but my big two are PeterFelicia and PeterMJ -- both with the lens of the post-One More Day deal and how that altered both of their relationships with him.

Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in (ASM #16HU)

My only one/My kingdom come undone (ASM #545)

#spiderman #traincat talks comics #gratuitous taylor swift spider-man readings #*replies #long post/#taylor swift

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bartramcat · 3 years

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CSI, GUNSMOKE, and STAR TREK: Of Reboots, Remakes and Reinventions

So this whole CSI revival thing has me meditating on a whole bunch of unrelated TV shows, and the tendency of networks to try to replicate success.

Back in the dark ages, when I was a kid, networks were filled with Westerns and Sitcoms and Variety Shows. (Thank you Ed Sullivan for introducing me to so many different kinds of music and comedy I never would have sought out for myself.) I'll admit right now that, for the most part, I hate sitcoms. I'm not even a big fan of comedy films with the exception of Howard Hawks' breakneck version of screwball. The only two sitcoms I maintain a high regard for are The Dick Van Dyke Show and Get Smart. It's the writing. (Get Smart was never a true sitcom; it was a weird pastiche of parody and satire.)

So that brings us to westerns, a form I also tend to dislike, with the exception of Gunsmoke. In many ways, it is the quintessential western, by virtue of lasting so long, and, in others, it's not a western at all but a vehicle for morality plays and character studies in a western setting. At its core is a group of diverse misfits who come together to make a family; despite often unsavory or tragic backstories, they were united in their search for truth and justice and their love for one another.

I think one of the reasons Gunsmoke survived so long was twofold: the core characters and its ability to reinvent itself. Early on, the morality plays were more black and white, good versus evil in a very raw, harsh environment. The term that most comes to mind is stark, although the relationships among the principles were already complex. As Dodge grew, the "bad guys" became more complex, blurring the lines between good and evil. While some truly evil folks still turned up, there were more shades of gray, more bad choices, often born of desperation in an unforgiving landscape, than simply being "born bad." In the latter years of the series, while there were still episodes that explored the relationships among the principles, many episodes were character studies of either Dodge residents or transients.

Surprisingly, the black and white hour long episodes between 1961 and 1966 are some of the darkest TV has ever produced. Happy endings were not part of the formula. Some I would characterize as downright nihilistic. Not your stereotypical TV western. Several TV historians attribute this bleak depiction of frontier life as contributing to the declining ratings in the early to mid 1960s; the show would have been cancelled had it not been for Mrs. Paley, whose favorite show it was.

Gene Roddenberry once said that Star Trek was Gunsmoke in space. On a universe level, he was perhaps talking about frontiers: Gunsmoke was set on the American Frontier and Star Trek "the Final Frontier." Within the show itself, however, it too is about a group of diverse misfits who come together to make a family. It is perhaps worth noting that much of Roddenberry's early TV career was spent in westerns.

(As an aside, I was watching The Long Voyage Home a couple of months ago, and I started laughing out loud at an exchange between Spock and McCoy. My brother asked what was that funny. I said that the whole scene was so Doc and Festus. And it was.)

The original Star Trek was a failure as a TV series. It only lasted 3 years with no great ratings. Yeah I was one of those who wrote letters to NBC when they threatened to cancel it after the 2nd season. The characters and the concepts within it, however, had made an indelible mark on the consciousness of a generation.

For the most part, I hate movies based on TV shows, since I regard the TV and movie experiences to be basically incompatible. Both are on film, but that's where the similarity ends. I also loathe reboots. Star Trek is the only franchise that achieved success in both: the film and the reboot, primarily, I think, because the vision remained the same throughout all of its manifestations. The movies based on the OG show are not a redo but a continuation of the story of those characters first introduced in 1966. And I think as a TV series that TNG was actually better.

CSI has always reminded me of a weird combination of Gunsmoke and Star Trek, mainly because of the whole make a family thing. And the common bond among the family members. There are parallels that can be drawn among characters in all of the shows, but they are, for the most part, analogous at best.

As a TV show, I think CSI lost its way after Grissom left. Gunsmoke never lost Matt, and Star Trek never lost Kirk. The two earlier shows held onto their core characters for their entire runs, well almost. When Amanda Blake decided to take a year off from Gunsmoke in the 20th season, the show had a void. While the overall ratings were still good, I suspect the coveted women 18-49 demo took a huge hit.

For the most part, for me, TV shows are just TV shows. There are those I enjoy as in the moment entertainment. Rarely do I think about them after the credits roll. My go to show is Law and Order. It's comfortable. But I never connected to any of the characters in any substantial way. It is a true procedural. Criminal Intent is a whole other ball of wax, but that's due to Vincent D'Onofrio's Bobby Goren, who is easily in my Top Five of TV characters.

I'm not sure why CSI went so wrong after Grissom left. I suspect a large part of it was not only actor turnover but writing turnover. A loss of continuum both in front and in back of the camera. Initially, I think they were beset by panic: in an effort to fill the Grissom void, they decided to make it about Langston and not the team. The more fractured the team, the more fractured the show.

At the risk of offending some folks, I never cared about Langston, Russell, Finn or Morgan. Compared to the original team, they always seemed more caricatures than characters to me. In the later seasons, even Catherine, Nick, Greg and Sara seemed to lose a lot of their dimensions.

I have no idea what the CSI reboot will be trying to be. On the one hand, it could be trying to be TNG, but then what are Gil and Sara doing there? They certainly can't be part of a found family, since their family isn't included. There has to be some kind of viable backstory for them suddenly to give up whatever it is they have been doing to come back to the lab to save the day.

(In some of my potential scenarios, I suppose it possible they are globe-trotting NatGeo explorers engaged in scientific studies of whales and sharks, birds and bees, but they retain the Vegas residence to which they return to write up their treatises, thereby maintaining contact with the goings on at the lab. Yeah that's pretty far-fetched too.)

I suppose my fondest hope is that we will learn that several of the original CSI writers and production staff have signed back on, so that something of the original vision can filter through.

Shows can reinvent themselves. And they can be successful in different manifestations. In order to do so, however, there needs to be consistency in design and execution. There needs to be a coherent vision in terms of what the show is trying to do and to say.

And there really, really needs to be cast chemistry.

Here's hoping.

#csi vegas #gunsmoke #star trek #reboot #reinvention #csi

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arthurjdrake · 3 years

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For Keeps : Alain & Arthur

Summary: A phoenix and a hunter go into a bar. (aka Amelie and I somehow never posted a doc we wrote like 3 months ago don’t judge us) >_> Parties: Arthur and @carbrakes-and-stakes

Recent events had come to show that sometimes meeting new people (Leah especially) didn’t always go terribly, and the little he’d experienced of Alain so far from their online conversations gave Arthur a strangely positive vibe. He couldn’t say what it was, but shared interests were certainly a scene setter for an interesting afternoon over beer if nothing else. Though it transpired with recent revelations that his interest in Alain was further vested in gauging just what sort of person he was and just what Evelyn saw in him that made her interested in being with him. Call it protective curiosity. The Perfect Pint was a decent enough establishment and one he frequented if only for the full plate of good food and Guinness they had on tap. A sizeable establishment with light filtering through slightly grimy windows, it smelled like an ashtray but was relatively clean by most pubs standards. Not to mention the presence of several dart boards and snooker tables for patrons to use if they so pleased. Wooden stools lined up against the bar resembled careless soldiers. Two were occupied and Arthur was five minutes early. So he leaned on the darkwood bar, occasionally sipping a cool pint of Guinness while watching the highlights scrolling on the screen and wincing at a particularly nasty tackle.

Alain pushed the door to The Perfect Pint expecting to have a peaceful moment for once. No hunting, no arguing, not questioning everything. Just chatting with someone with common interests and seeing where that led. Not going to the Silver Bullet for once would also be a nice change. It must have been months since he last went to a normal bar. Being greeted by the sound of football matches and people playing pool was a nice change, and it reminded Alain of the few weeks he had spent in Europe a couple years ago. Now he did not care much for the smell of cigarettes, but if this was all he could complain about, then he would not complain at all. Recognizing some customers as he made his way to the counter, he nodded politely and took a seat with the man he figured would be Arthur. If not, then things would probably get awkward really quick. “Bonjour,” he greeted him, figuring that would be enough of a tell. The bartender approaching, he ordered himself a pint of Amber Ale and turned his attention back to Arthur. “I hope I’m not late.”

There weren’t too many people in town Arthur felt he could go down to the pub to simply have a drink with, he was woefully short on friends who weren’t so studiously academic that it was kind of funny to imagine them in a setting like this. Plus, it reminded him of home in an inexplicable way. From the smell to the darkwood features of the pub, like his local back in Twickenham. Occasionally he glanced at his wrist-watch checking and rechecking the time, the smooth carved wood of its casing a familiar comfort in its proximity. As a figure approached and sat down beside him he turned, body-language relaxed and comfortable, an amicable smile warming his features upon hearing the French. “Salut,” he greeted with a small dip of his head, taking a moment to just study Alain, taking in the years around his eyes and features, the stubborn lingering grease around his fingernails and a missing finger as well. Interesting. Arthur vaguely remembered him saying he was a mechanic in a past conversation. A bit rough around the edges but he could see the appeal though it was the personality he was more intrigued to learn more about. “Not at all,” he laughed quietly at the sentiment with a shake of his head “no, I’m just partial to being early.” He let Alain order before he leaned back a little, “so you own the garage in town right? How’s business been going for you lately?”

If Alain could feel like he was being scrutinized, he didn’t mention it to Arthur, and instead, pretended to look just about anywhere else. He had never been here, so this gave him a good enough excuse not to be attentive. “Is it really how pubs look in the UK?” The place looked like a postcard, and a whole lot like pubs that claimed to be authentic, and he couldn’t quite decide if it was really close to the actual thing or a caricature. Clearly, the mime places weren’t as authentic as they claimed to be, so maybe this was the case here as well. He rubbed at the corner of his eye with one finger and thanked the bartender as he came back with his drink. “Do you actually speak French or…” either way, there would be no hard feelings, but once again, he was curious, which was a good indicator : a bored Alain did not ask questions and hardly spoke. Taking a sip from his pint, he leaned back a little in the seat and nodded in reply to Arthur’s question. “Business is doing alright. I’ve had a few good months with the falling fish. Lots of shattered windshields, lots of intensive cleaning too,” scratching the back of his neck, he shrugged. With the big lobsters, a bunch of cars had been roughly damaged, and considering he had to spend some time off work, all those events had helped keeping the cash coming. “What about you. You’re a teacher, right?”

“It’s not a bad imitation of one considering they even have an old geezer eating roasted peanuts” Arthur admitted eyeing another patron at one of the tables in the corner. “Plus this is the only place I can actually catch games when they’re on, even if it is at like one AM… Granted it’s worth staying up if only for the Irish breakfast.” The question was met with a nod, “I speak a little to pass conversation. I’m kinda rusty and the amount of exceptions to all the tenses always catches me in one place or another…” He shrugged a shoulder taking a sip of his beer “personally, I think it’s important especially if you’re going to live somewhere for a while you know? Too many people just expect everyone else to cater to them just because they’re too lazy and entitled to learn another language.” That was a trait that bothered him about most people growing up in an anglophone environment, the lack of desire to even try and relate to people from other walks of life; forcing them to adapt from their culture. It was hardly fair in his mind. “Ha, yeah I can imagine there’s all sorts of interesting things that keep you busy. The newspaper mentioned something about screaming moose you know? I never thought I’d live anywhere that the wildlife would be much of an issue.” Or maybe he should’ve considered that before moving to White Crest. “Yeah! I teach up at the university, history and mythology department. Certainly no lack of folklore around these parts.”

“What?” Alain followed Arthur’s eyes and his shoulders shook with amusement at the sight of the old geezer eating roasted peanuts. “Alright, that is authentic for sure,” he had another sip of beer. Listening to the man talk, his brows furrowed. “You’re kidding? This is like music to my insomniac ears,” of course insomnia was a stretch, but Alain was not about to tell Arthur that he was a vampire hunter, and that as a result, he really didn’t need to sleep that much. Insomniac seemed a lot more simple. “Night entertainment and food, I’m sold,” he scoffed. Now was he surprised to hear that Arthur struggled with the french language? Not really. “Hey, if you ever need practice, you know where to find me,” he offered. It did not cost him much, and he liked chatting in his native language. Really a win win. “I agree. I mean, obviously if you’re only here for a week, there’s only so much you can do, but don’t expect everyone to speak your own language, that’s… logical,” he shrugged, refraining from rolling his eyes. “You just have to be … logical,” he repeated. Clearly things were easier for him when he visited France, but his time in Spain had been quite something, as he could only remember very few things in Spanish. “Screaming moose?” His eyebrows raised and he glanced to the side, clearly concerned. Could it be due to supernatural reasons? Possible. He’d have to ask Kaden about that one. “Clearly not. The area is quite … rich in folklore. I think we’re a good tie with Louisiana and Salem,” he agreed. “What is your favorite folklore story?”

“See?” Arthur chuckled eyes crinkling at the corners in his mirth at the token sight that seemed a staple in most pubs back home, there was always at least one. “No way! I kid about a lot of things but not that. Definitely not when it comes to a full Irish and watching rugby or football. For sure, next time there’s something on I’ll let you know, even if it does mean I have to sit and watch France play--” he lamented with a put-upon look though it was all in jest. Insomnia was interesting but hardly surprising in a town such as this; there could be any host of reasons behind it. “I might take you up on that, I find it hard not to be so formal in structuring the sentences...” Arthur tilted his glass a little “well, yeah sure but I still think if you’re going to visit another country it’s at least polite to try. It’s just always been a pet peeve, just people being so self-involved they don’t think about trying to make an effort for anyone else.” Alain seemed surprised and Arthur’s brows furrowed, “didn’t you see the newspaper? It was a while back but something about Sunday at sundown being when moose would scream? Seemed a bit weird… I didn’t know moose could scream… Just thought they trampled things.” But hey, wild life could surprise you especially in a town like this.

“Rich is an understatement,” he said with a shake of his head. “Issue is most of the stories around these parts were passed down by word of mouth… Not many actual documents to look at.” There was a spark that always seemed to light up his features whenever he got into a discussion about folklore, “oh, would totally have to be the Huldufólk - the hidden folk - Icelanders believe they’re hidden elves that live in the shadows between rocks, it’s said they love to dance and invade farms at Christmas to hold wild parties. That their origins come from the Garden of Eden, when God visited Adam and Eve, Eve was washing their children and hadn’t finished… Embarrassed, she hid the unwashed children and lied about their existence. To punish her God declared that the children she hid would be hidden from all of mankind and so the first Huldufólk came to be.” It was an interesting and unique narrative and one that had always intrigued him. “How about you? Do you take any interest in folklore?”

Pursing his lips, Alain remained silent as he turned to look at the other man, looking as offended as he looked amused by his comment on French teams. “Let’s not mention that England has not won a world cup in football since the 60s, despite being such a great nation of football, then, shall we?” clearing his throat, he took a sip of beer to hide his smile. Such an argument could go on for days, for sure, but it seemed like Arthur was not the kind to start pointless arguments. “There’s nothing wrong with that. I will admit to being less formal than I used to be,” it had been a while since he left the Babineaux household, and his speech level had grown simpler with time. “Of course. Portugal was awkward, I didn’t speak a damn word of portuguese and had to rely on one of those tiny vocabulary books,” he mimed the rough size of said book with his hands and raised his eyebrows in despair as he remembered how thankful he was that most people knew more English than he knew Portugese. “Yeah, some people do have a hard time not focusing on themselves,” scratching at the back of his neck, Alain looked thoughtful for a moment, staring into the gap. “They kind of sound like nazguls when they scream,” he finally commented, but it usually happened a bit later in the year. Alain had not exactly planned to discuss rut season, but if this was where the conversation was heading, why not?

“Like most stories. And it’s not like books or history is any better. It’s always written by those who survive, or those who won,” biased, but at least the version couldn’t change once printed on paper. You could tell how enthusiastic Arthur was about the subject, and it was refreshing. Leaning against his elbow, the hunter listened to the scholar talk about some ancient legend. The story sounded a bit too polished to be the truth, but he did not doubt that Iceland had a bunch of little folks living in the shadow. “It’s hard not to when you spend your whole life in this town. I’m afraid I don’t have stories to tell however,” clearly this was a lie, but Alain knew better than to start telling people he barely knew about his night time activities.

“True,” though Arthur raised a brow in mild challenge, “but what we do have are three six nations titles to the name in the last ten years. So I think that counts for something. You can take football, I’ll take rugby. Issue settled.” It was banterous and Arthur’s grin was cheeky in spite of himself. “You tend to get that way with time, formalities are nice but they can be so constricting to adhere to all the time.” He snorted a little at the comparison, “oh Gods don’t ruin Nazguls for me like that. No no that’s not allowed.” Lord of the Rings was sacred in this sphere and nothing, especially no moose screaming was allowed to ruin it.

“I mean that’s true of almost anything in life. It’s just nice to actually have some hard evidence to work from rather than just the word of mouth. At least that way you can start to deduce what influences there might’ve been on a source.” Perhaps the story was too polished, too easily wrapped up but it was a nice tale nonetheless. Not everything in the world had to be all doom and gloom. So what if there were elves that liked to play games and pull tricks. “Huh, really? Did you grow up here?”

“Heh, fine,” then coughing to jokingly hide what he was about to say, he added in a hurry, “Football’s better anyway.” Obviously coughing was not meant to really hide anything, and he found himself laughing. Shaking his head, he ran a hand in his hair and sighed heavily. “Formalities are fine by me, although I wouldn’t hope to see me ‘formal’,” he scratched at the corner of his mouth, shook his head and took a sip of beer again. Once again he found himself laughing at the man’s reaction. Alain really would have to stop insulting everything Arthur liked. “Nazguls ruined themselves on their own. Moose have the right to ruin them more,” it appeared they had yet another thing in common. Although he was never an hardcore fan, he still remembered the first time he read the Hobbit very fondly.

“Fair enough. I just feel like history is really biased and often misinterpreted too,” you just had to look at what people were taught at school. Maps placing their country in the middle of the world, wars lost barely mentioned… “I did grow up here. But no, no stories,” not any he wanted to tell. “I can however bore you to death about astronomy. Or myths related to constellations, although you probably already know them all.”

It wasn’t the worst, Arthur rather enjoyed a challenge and the fact Alain seemed willing to challenge ideas in a joking fashion was a good sign for the man’s own personality. “Noo!” he protested with a laugh waving his hand as if to try and stop the insults light-hearted as they were “that’s not allowed, only the waters of Bruinen are allowed to completely wreck the Nazguls or a hobbit with a frying pan. Sheesh these are the sorts of debates I used to get into with Evelyn. The real issues of life.” It wasn’t entirely true, this was one facet of many that he and Evelyn had discussed but Arthur was curious to see how Alain would react to hearing her name.

“It often is, but I think that’s part of the challenge of studying it. Knowing you have to work to try and uncover the obfuscated truth behind the fogs of what people want you to believe.” It was countless, the amount of times he’d tried to submit revisions based on contrary evidence, some had gone through while others… It was a tiring endeavor but one he’d continue to pursue regardless. “That would hardly bore me. I’ve been fascinated with astronomy since I was a child. There’s actually very little I find more interesting.”

“I don’t know,” Alain’s brows furrowed at the mention of hobbit held frying pans, and they furrowed some more at the mention of Evelyn. You could see the cogs turning and trying to figure out what this was about. Biting his lip, he shook his head. “You wouldn’t happen to be…” he tried to remember the words she used. “I think she might have mentioned that she had a favorite professor in town,” he scoffed, shaking his head. He supposed that it made sense that she would mention him to her mentor, as secretive as she could be, it was hard not to share some things.

If Alain had often had to do research, it was far from the academic kind, but that did not mean that he couldn’t dedicate entire days to gathering information on certain kinds of undead species. The hardest part was not knowing the species name and hoping to recognize characteristics in his readings. “That’s what I like with cars, they don’t usually tell lies, which makes my job a lot easier,” he doubted that cars would be something Arthur could be interested in, but he was not too surprised to hear that he liked astronomy too, but that did not mean he wouldn’t be excited about it. “Really?!” His tone of voice was unusually cheerful. “Then you have to join me for stargazing sometimes.”

It would be interesting to see what Alain came up with, and while he clearly processed the passing mention Arthur took a sip of his Guinness giving him time to think but out of the corner of his eye watching curiously. “Oh did she?” it was easy enough to feign mild surprise with just a dash of curiosity thrown in for good measure. He made a quietly amused sound, “yes, she does like to remind me of that as often as she can - along with the fact she was one of my brightest students… She’s hardly a forgettable person but if you know her I’m sure you’re aware of that fact.”

“Well, no lies if they’re built well. I once had a guy try to sell me a knockoff Bentley - full look of the thing but the insides were scavenged from hell. Luckily I didn’t agree to that deal.” While Arthur didn’t know much about cars, he knew which ones he liked and back in the day he’d raced the odd car here and there. So it was more a casual interest than a passionate hobby. The enlightened state that seemed to come over Alain’s features on the topic of Astrology - much in the same way his own lit up at the mention of mythology was interesting and Arthur could tell that whatever else, Alain was certainly someone he liked. “Stargazing? Sure, I’ve actually got a great telescope back at mine. Always try to do some Astrophotography when I’ve been out on fieldtrips… Nothing better than a long hike and taking some good photos. I’ll have to show you sometime.”

Alright, so maybe it was not completely a coincidence that he and Arthur had ended up talking to each other, although Alain hoped that they really shared the same interests. “She does leave a strong impression, a good impression,” he clarified. Even knowing that she was not really human, he couldn’t seem to be able to change the way he felt about her, and he was terrified by it, even though he liked to tell himself that if she had fed on him this whole time, he would change his mind about the woman he had feelings for. “I’m grateful we met.”

“The lies here come from that guy, people lie, not cars. If you ever want to acquire one of these, please do tell. I like restoring properly older cars. “The Continental Bentley from the 1950s is a real beauty, but hard to find in good shape these days,” the man’s enthusiasm didn’t waver as the subject changed to astronomy. Quite the contrary. “See, that’s something I struggle with. I never seem to be able to take a proper picture. I tried, but I think I’m just really not good with that kind of technology,” he liked taking pictures, and Evelyn liked having her picture taken which was a great combination, but when it came to space, it was almost disastrous. “You really need to show me. I could use that.”

“That’s true,” Arthur agreed, seeming to take measure of the answer and find it satisfactory “she’s quite a remarkable young woman.” Evelyn had been right, and from what Arthur could tell, Alain was being genuine. “How did you meet? If you don’t mind me asking?” Evelyn had been rather cryptic of late regarding Alain and Arthur was rather curious to learn the story there. “She’s a good friend of mine so I find myself interested in the people she surrounds herself with.”

While Arthur was still taking note of Alain’s general disposition, he seemed to relax into the new conversation put at ease by what he could read from the other man’s reaction regarding Evelyn. “It’s funny you mention that, I’ve got the Bentley Continental V8 here at the minute but back home I have a 1949 Bentley VI Saloon and a 1962 Chevrolet Corvette. They’re some of the best drives I think I’ve ever had on the road.” An understanding nod was given, “ah yeah, often you just have to spend a while playing around with the exposure on the camera and make sure you use a tripod to keep it stable. It’s a bugger but once you get the hang of it it’s not too bad.” He grinned clearly excited by the proposed idea “but sure, next time there’s something astrological going on, send me a message and I’ll give you a crash course. Maybe you can give me a crash course in cars.”

Young woman. He had to wonder if this was meant to be an attack or not. As far as he was concerned, yes, she was young, and yes, he was older, and it was uncommon, but it was something he and Evelyn had discussed. In the end, it was Alain who felt the least comfortable about the difference, not her. “Oh, ahem,” he mused. “Well, I was trespassing on her property, which is a great first impression apparently. I wanted to find a good spot to stargaze, but didn't know it was a private beach,” he trailed off. Yeah, that had been embarrassing, and he had considered fleeing the place the moment Evelyn disappeared to get a cardigan.

Now he was glad he did not.

“Oh.” Well he really was not a fan of the newer ones, as he found them a bit too soft looking, but he kept that to himself. And so it surprised him that Arthur seemed to like some very different cars, but he would not question the man’s taste. To each their own. “See Evelyn, she owns too many cars,” he scoffed. An understatement, although it was not really a surprise. She liked owning things, especially pretty things, and Alain wondered sometimes if there was a reason for that need. “Sure, that sounds lovely. Let’s just hope that my crash course involves no crashing cars,” shaking his head, he took another sip of beer. “I just think that people, just, everyone should know more about what’s under the hood.”

It was less an attack, more a statement of fact and Arthur’s view of evelyn. She was an incredible young woman. There was no further intention to the words than that and if he did notice any discomfort it wasn’t remarked on. He’d learned one lesson lately and that was to let some things lie. So instead, he listened to Alain’s story, leaning a little more on the bar with his interest fixed because he was genuinely curious to learn the tale and get a better understanding of his friend’s mind in this. “And did she stay out?” Arthur assumed so but better to get clarification just to be on the safe side.

“But I do have the other two older ones, I might get them shipped over at some point… I just didn’t know how permanent my residence here was going to be and I didn’t want to ship them and find myself heading back overseas you know? Too much hassle.” Though he had to laugh at the statement of Evelyn and cars, “she has too much stuff period. Always has, but I can hardly blame her for that.” Arthur had his own reasonings about why that might be the case but it wasn’t something to discuss right now. Alain was nice enough but not someone he’d chat in depth to about his long-time friends. Not yet at least. “Yeah, I’d rather not go out in a ball of flames.” The irony of that statement wasn’t lost on him. “You’re probably right, I guess it seems so foreign and alien to most people that even approaching the topic seems like a challenge. It’s kind of the same with history… or language. Some people nowadays are afraid of not being able to overcome the challenge I think.”

“She did,” he wrinkled his nose, “considering the reputation of Harris Island folks, I did consider for a moment that she was staying with me until the police arrived,” which was something that made him feel terrible, but could you really blame him. “I think she had nothing better to do,” Alain might have never been the luckiest person there was, but he always wondered what he could have possibly done to deserve her.

“I mean, that’s fair.” Alain rarely had to get cars imported, but he remembered having to import his own car from France, and how much of a hassle this had been. “I’d love to have a look at those, if you ever do get them shipped here,” he added, finishing his pint and searching for his wallet to pay the bartender. “Glad to know that she always has been this way,” he had a light laugh. Alain had given up on thinking of things he could offer her, hoping that memories could be things she would cherish more. “Let’s avoid that, yeah,” he shook his head. “People probably think it’s too complicated, too hard, too … I don’t know… That only some people are allowed to have this kind of knowledge,” the man had always been curious, and it was no surprise to learn that Arthur, an academic, felt the same way about learning new things.

“Understandable,” Arthur had met a few people that lived out that way and hadn’t been too impressed with them “Harris island folks can be pretty funny about strangers wandering onto their properties. Luckily she’s one of the better few out that way.”

“Sure, I’ll let you know if I ever make the decision to do that… Though considering how much glass damage it seems people complain about online I’m not sure if it’s something I’d really want to expose myself to… But I guess knowing a mechanic doesn’t hurt with that issue.” Setting his glass on the counter he pushed back a little. “Maybe, I guess some people just feel its unreachable for them in particular or they have no effort in pursuing the avenue to acquiring it.” Arthur waved his hand as he saw Alain reach for his wallet, fishing his card out the back of his phone case before good-naturedly adding “don’t worry about it, I’ll get them.”

“I suppose that’s what happens when you get a bit too out of touch with reality,” Alain was certain that his sister, or his parents, were the kind to react poorly to trespassers, and the reason he knew that was because he was himself not really fond of trespassers, and this, despite having spent the last two decades in the middle class.

“I don’t think soundproofing your garage is the answer to big noises, but hey, you now know a mechanic. I’m sure you’ll be alright,” the corners of his mouth tugged up, as he stood up from the stool. “Let me know if you ever feel like learning a thing or two, alright?” He frowned slightly at Arthur’s offer, but didn’t question it for too long and instead nodding, thankful. “Alright, thanks.”

With a huff of amusement Arthur grinned, “good thing people who are rational like us exist then.” With the delivery of a few notes across the bar and a tip for the waiter Arthur pushed to his feet and tucked his wallet away. “Well, nice to meet you Alain. And if you ever fancy watching ridiculously late night rugby matches just let me know.” With a wave of his hand he made his way towards the door and the walk back home in the early afternoon light.

#for keeps #para #alain #p: alain

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thebibliosphere · 5 years

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I just wanted to put out the ask to you joy, and any others. I have been diagnosed with food allergies, and I have two thoughts / questions. One, has anyone ever had an allergy that was present, then went away? My doctor diagnosed me as allergic to eggs, and then when I went back 6 months later, that allergy was gone, and replaced with two others (foods that I had been eating up to that point, and was now allergic to.) Next, what's a good pasta replacement for allergy to rice corn and wheat?

Hi @lilnizzie I’m going to throw this under a cut as it got pretty long, but I hope you are able to view this. Let me know if the readmore breaks it.

Allergies can and do fluctuate... but not typically in that way for most people.

Some people grow out of allergies, while others grow into them. And then there’s the people like me whose bodies cannot regulate histamine, (something which we all produce and need for important cell functions like healing and keeping us safe from pathogens) and who can develop fluctuating allergies depending on how overstimulated their mast cells are, which are the cells that regulate histamine release into the tissue and blood.

You may have seen me refer to my condition as MCAS, or mast cell activation syndrome. Basically, those all-important cells of mine don’t work quite right, and as part of that, I have developed a severe histamine intolerance or HIT for short.

So for instance, eggs, particularly the white of eggs, are high in histamine (the yolk is not, weird how that works right?) and some folk with histamine regulation problems (HIT) may not be able to eat them at all, while others are able to eat the yolk, or some folks like me who are able to eat eggs as part of an ingredient (say, cornbread) provided our “histamine bucket” isn’t overflowing.

Which okay, how do I explain this... so have you heard the phrase “window of tolerance?” As in, your threshold for being able to cope with things? Well, they used to refer to this reaction as being “histamine window of tolerance”, but since more research has come to light that suggests our inability to self regulate histamine is down to a stacking effect, hence the analogy of the bucket. The more you put into an already full bucket, the more things will overflow, and before you know it you are dealing with the overspill of problems.

This can either be caused by diet, elemental factors such as pollen, dust, pet dander, etc. etc., heat, cold, exercise, and yes, even stress. (This is because mast cells are in every tissue in the body, including the brain, and they do not like stress hormones, no they do not.) For some people, the reactions are mild and fleeting and may even be mistaken for hayfever, causing only minor ailments that can be regulated by taking anti-histamines. Some others are unfortunate enough to develop full-blown MCAS (or other mast cell issues) and are at risk of anaphylaxis and must carry an epi-pen at all times. I’m one of the latter. If it helps, think of it as a sliding scale disorder, with mild HIT on one end, and “What-in- the-name-of-God-is-this?!?” level of reactions on the other.

The condition can be managed, usually through diet and lifestyle changes for those with a mild case of HIT, and with the addition of mast cell stabilizing meds for those with the more severe MCAS.

So, why am I detailing all of this? Well, it might help to know that yes, the body can and does go off the deep end sometimes, and healthy people can and do develop new allergies over time. But I’ll level with you, all the foods you listed up there are poorly tolerated by folks with HIT when their “buckets” are full, and your fluctuating egg allergy might also be a clue that something isn’t quite working the way it ought to.

Of course, I’m not a doctor and I cannot give you any real concrete advice, only my own experiences of learning to manage this condition over the last 8 months after an astute nutritionist looked at all my food intolerances and allergies, and finally after years of suffering, offered me a diagnosis.

But what I will say, given that you’re already talking to an allergist, is that it might not be a bad idea to get your blood tryptase levels checked. It’s not an entirely accurate test, as you need to be in the midst of a flare to get a result, but for some folk it can tell the doc right off the bat if something is going awry, making it a good first stage in ruling out more severe conditions which may be causing your allergic responses to fluctuate in this way.

Now, I know that’s a whole wall of text right there, and I’d hate for you to be reading it and panicking, so allow me to say, if you do have issues with regulating histamine on your own, it is manageable. Since getting my diagnosis 8 months ago, I am a lot more stable than I have been for...probably my entire life tbh (Sure my pernicious anemia didn’t help, but the MCAS is its own ordeal.) I’m even getting to eat more foods as my body stabilizes and stops being in a state of continual meltdown. Which is amazing! Fruit! Iconic!

Sure there are some foods I’ll never be able to eat again, but eh, there’s better things in life :)

Also, just in case anyone recs it in the comments or reblogs, yes there is such a thing as a low histamine diet, but it is not a long term solution and should ideally only be carried out under medical supervision. The low HIT diet is extremely low on nutrients, and if done for too long can cause all sorts of other health issues. I was left on mine for over 2 years by a negligent doctor, and am only just now starting to recover from the extreme malnourishment this caused. Apparently, the longest you should do it for is 2-4 weeks to see if symptoms improve, and then you try adding foods back in one at a time to see what you can tolerate. Who knew? (I wish I had.)

Again, not a doctor, I can’t diagnose you and I am not even saying this is what your problem is, but given what you’re asking me, I feel it prudent to share my knowledge about the wonderful world of fluctuating allergies that seem to come and go with no rhyme or reason.

As for things you can supplement, oatmeal can be used to create a savory dish that is similar to rice. I used to cook mine up with a stock cube to make it savory, then add my vegetables into. It was like a very Scottish version of risotto, but I liked it lol. ETD tells me it tastes like “stuffing” which I dunno if that’s good or not, but he always eats it when I make it. If you have issues with stock cubes, cooking it up with salt and using things like fresh herbs will have a similar effect.

You may also be able to use things like coconut flour, or spelt flour, though not everyone can eat spelt if they have a wheat issue, so watch out for that. Tapioca flour is also an option, as are nut flowers if you’re trying to bake. Watch out for a lot of boxed gluten-free stuff though, xanthum gum is typically derived from corn.

Another option would be to make “vegetable mash” which is basically what it sounds like. I like to use potato for mine because it’s one of the few carbs I can get, mash it up, then dice in my other veggies (and meat of choice) and that’s basically how I avoided grains for as long as I did. Sweet potato works well for this too. Basically, if you have to avoid grains, which it sounds like you do, veggies are a good way to keep your carbs up.

Anyway, I hope some of this was helpful... I feel like I rambled, but... yeah, I know way too much about this kind of thing for someone who went to school for liberal arts lol

#chronic health tag #allergies #life with allergies #life with mcas #histamine intolerance #food #food mention #anyone got any recs for food?#lilnizzie

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somedayonbroadway · 4 years

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I feel like you'd be on board with this idea I just had because of the possibility for Angst, so. I present to you, a Newsies Red Band Society AU.

Okay… so wow it’s been a long time since I’ve gotten this ask and I’m so sorry about that! But i do remember seeing this and having no idea what Red Band Society was.

So I watched the whole show in two days.

It was a rollercoaster.

If you haven’t seen it, you can watch it on ABC for free! I recommend!

Anyways, here it is...

Red Band Society AU

So,

Jack Kelly (The Rebel)

Jack had bone cancer (osteosarcoma). It started in his right leg and was caught just in time to be able to stop it. They had to amputate his leg at the knee. Jack was a football player. The quarterback.

Katherine Plumber (The Girl Next Door)

Katherine is anorexic. She’s been in the hospital for almost two months, refusing to eat more than a carrot or something similar everyday. Sometimes not even that. Her and Jack have a strong connection and an on and off relationship throughout this whole story.

Albert DaSilva (The Player)

Albert has cystic fibrosis. But he still loves to smoke. He fancies himself a ladies man and the life of the party. Him and Jack often find ways to sneak themselves beer and weed to have small “parties” on the roof.

Racetrack Higgins (The King)

Race is a trained dancer and cheerleader at his school. He’s the most popular kid in school. And he knows it. He’s got an enlarged heart, but due to his drug abuse is on the bottom of the transplant list.

David Jacobs (The New Kid)

Davey has Ewing Sarcoma. He comes into the hospital alone, begging the doctor to stop the cancer in him before it spreads. It’s in his leg. Him and Jack hit it off at first. Jack is thrilled to have someone experienced the same thing he was.

Crutchie Morris (Coma Boy)

Charlie is a comatose patient. Has been for months. He was in a car crash. His leg got mangled up during this. He can’t walk. Similar to Jack. He’s the only kid there that’s comatose, but the others can speak to him whenever they’re put under or fear they’re close to dying. He’s the one that gets them all through surgeries.

Spot Conlon (The Mysterious Stranger)

Spot is a leukemia survivor. He is in need of a liver transplant, though every time he gets called in, something seems to go wrong.

Miss Medda Larkin (Scary Bitch)

A scary, but protective and caring nurse who looks after all of these kids. She is the overseer of pediatric faculty.

Bryan Denton (The Hot Doc)

A very skilled surgeon who works at the hospital, working with all of the kids, taking some of them under his wing. He’s also very protective of them and wants to see them all make it out of the hospital.

Okay, so here’s what happens:

David is a sixteen year old with cancer. But his family is extremely religious. His mother is convinced that the cancer was just the devil trying to take hold of him and that if they prayed hard enough, his body would heal itself and get rid of the devil.

But David knows better than that. He knows that if he doesn’t get himself help, he’ll die. And he doesn’t wanna die.

So he runs away.

He cons his way in to see the top surgeon in the state. Dr. Bryan Denton. And he begs Denton for help. He claims to be an orphan with no one else to help him. Denton is hesitant but eventually agrees and checks David into the hospital himself, setting him up with a room and an appointment for surgery.

He hands David off to nurse Larkin who seems cold and strict to him. But she leads David to a room where he finds another boy, not much older than him. Medda introduces him as Jack.

David sees that Jack is annoyed. Medda tells Jack that he’s gonna have to get used to sharing his room with the new kid. And then she just leaves.

And Davey doesn’t really know what to do.

He tries to make conversation with Jack. Jack doesn’t seem interested. Not until David tells him why he’s there.

He’s gonna lose his leg.

Jack doesn’t seem to be sad for him. In fact, he seems pretty unsympathetic at first. And David says that Jack would have no idea what that would feel like.

So Jack pulls his blanket off of himself and sits up on his bed, telling Davey that in fact, he would know exactly what that felt like.

Meanwhile, Race is at a dance competition. He’s the dance captain at his high school. He’s sixteen. The most popular kid in school.

And he is pretty controlling and self absorbed and mean.

While rehearsing just before the competition, he’s getting angry at his team for screwing up a section. He’s stressed and he’s yelling and he feels agitated. So he demands someone get him water.

He passes out before they get him any.

No one really bats an eye. They just call for a coach.

Race ends up in the hospital. The nurse tells him he’s got an enlarged heart. He’s not happy about it.

He’s told he’s sharing a room with another boy. Charlie. He’s been asleep for the past couple of months.

Race takes his anger out on the kid, just with his words, once the nurse leaves.

Then he leaves his room to go explore.

He finds that he doesn’t get along with Katherine, the girl who is there because she doesn’t eat.

He takes her food off of her hands, jokingly tells her that he’s helping her out. And then he asks why she’s even there in the first place. It’s not like she has a real sickness.

They don’t get off to a great start.

Race is used to having things a certain way.

He is not fond of being in the hospital.

Anyways…

Jack sneaks out of his room in his wheelchair after curfew to meet Albert. David follows him, curious as to what he was up to. Jack knows it, but doesn’t comment on it until they’re almost there.

And then he offers Davey a beer. Which Davey turns down. But he hangs with them. And Jack starts to open up a bit more.

That’s where Jack admits that he was a football player, hoping to get a scholarship to a good college. In fact, he had several offers and was on his way to making it big. From the foster system to big time athlete. Imagine that.

And then he lost his leg.

He’d say he was still trying to learn how to walk. That it was hard. And he’d never get back to the way he was before.

Davey would tell him how he had been a soccer player and now didn’t know if he’d be able to ever play again. Jack would tell him he was sorry. That it was gonna be okay and at least he didn’t have to go through it all alone. At least there was someone else who knew what he was going through.

That’s about when all the other kids would come up to the roof. Or, the other two, anyways.

Race and Katherine.

And for the sake of not going through things alone, Jack, who had been through many surgeries and hospital visits, had many red bands around his wrist as a reminder of what he’d survived, would tell them that even if they had no one else, which many of them did not, at least they’d have each other.

He’d give Albert a red band. It was from the first night they met. Jack’s first hospital visit. Albert laughs and tells the group that Jack kept playing dead and freaking out the nurses.

He gives another red band to Katherine. It’s from his first surgery. It’s to keep her safe.

Another goes to Race. Jack says it’s from a skin graph. Because, Race has more layers than he wants folks to believe. Race is shocked to hear it. And he starts to warm up to Jack. And really only Jack.

Then he gives another to Davey. It’s the one he wore when he lost his leg.

Jack slips from the party early. Davey asks Kath to dance with him because it might be the last time he gets to.

It’s not romantic. These two are platonic. But Kath and Jack are still working things out.

Anyways, Jack slips into Charlie’s room.

He uses his second to last band and slips onto Crutchie’s wrist and tells him that it’s because he talked to him when he was losing his leg. And Charlie told him that luck wasn’t getting what you wanted, it was surviving what you didn’t. And Jack would thank Charlie for helping him survive.

That night, Davey would find Jack drawing in their room. He wouldn’t have known that Jack could draw. And he’d tell Jack that he was really amazing. He’d tell Jack that Katherine was a nice girl and seemed to like Jack a lot. Jack would say something about things being complicated.

That’s when David would change the subject and ask if it hurt. Jack would be confused before he realized that Davey was talking about losing his leg.

Jack would tell him yes. But not in the way he was expecting. It wasn’t going to hurt not having it. It was going to hurt having to remember that it was there in the first place. He’d tell Davey that it was going to be alright though. Because he’d make sure he got through it.

The next morning, Davey is supposed to have his surgery.

Denton puts him under and promises him that it’ll all be okay.

But Denton finds that David’s cancer has already spread. And it’s a lot more serious than they originally thought.

David doesn’t lose his leg.

He’s ecstatic at first until he finds out that it means he’ll have to stay and go through more treatment.

Jack is upset that he still won’t have someone who understands what he’s going through.

Meanwhile, Race is on a mission to get some kind of high. After all he’s bored as hell in this hospital and feeling anxious.

He enlists the help of Albert and Jack. Jack tells him that it might not be a good idea for him. That he’s not used to this and he doesn’t know what might happen if he pushes it too far.

Race doesn’t listen.

But him and Jack and Albert have themselves a little adventure. Outside of the hospital.

They found a party thrown by some people that Race went to school with.

Jack has a lot of girls coming onto him. At first he’s okay with it.

But then they try to take it further.

Jack is wearing a prosthetic leg. One that he still can’t really walk on.

One girl and him are almost going all the way. Until she tries to help undress him.

Jack screams at the girl who is on top of him and demands she get out.

Then he sits in that bedroom alone, silently crying and not wanting to move. Hardly able to walk anymore. It hurts.

Race is getting nothing but pity from his classmates. Especially the Delancey brothers. Football players. Boys that Race had been at odds with for years.

And he can’t stand it. They tell him to take it easy. That they don’t know how much he can handle anymore.

Race finds Jack.

He doesn’t speak. He just sits with him and hides with him and doesn’t know what to do.

Eventually Albert finds them. He helps Jack up and grabs Race’s hand. And he takes them back to his car.

And he drives them back to the hospital.

Medda yells at them before Jack sniffles and Race runs off and locks himself in the bathroom.

They don’t talk about it.

Medda finds Race throwing up in the bathroom. And she says it’s time for his standard drug test in the morning.

Race ends up in Jack’s room later. And they sit together.

He tells Jack not to tell anyone about the fact that he had feelings or that he was scared out of his mind. Jack promises and lets Race hang with him for a while.

Katherine ends up in there after a bit. The nurses weighed her only moments before.

She’s not getting out in time to go to college early, like she’d planned.

She lays her head on Jack’s lap and let’s him comfort her.

David walks back in and joins them, along with Albert. And together they cheer each other up, before eventually agreeing that someone is missing.

Charlie.

So they move and sit around Charlie’s bed and talk to him and each other.

And since there’s thirteen episodes of this series, I’ll stop here. But I like this AU!

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the-mercurial-star-o-vesper · 4 years

Text

ITS EYE AGAINST I

... And me against You. Hello random people of the internet, and the select RvB audience I’m intending to talk to. Time for millions to ignore my existence, while a select few look at my fancy garbage. Now, with no sense of decorum, or tact... I present to you. That Red vs Blue seasons 15 through 17 are continuity breaking and noncanon. To be honest, I’m not overly fond of the over all plotlines and more than a few handfuls of episodes were just... dull. And that’s saying something for a series I’ve been attached to for the last decade. That isn’t to say there weren’t parts I didn’t like. There were plenty of things that were just fantastic and launched perfectly. But let’s get to the whys and hows. Let’s set out the point system: First point. The Blues and Reds, our blue visor assmonkeys... were unnecessarily stupid. They were a copypasta team, with a poor excuse to be there, that not only doesn’t fit what is already established but breaks continuity by being there. If we were to take the rest of the 15-17 series, it’d be easier to make them into alternative universe counter parts or what-ifs, from different timelines caused by the series later use of Time travel. Rather than this blessed mess. They spit in the face of Agent Florida’s workhistory. And while you can see where the idea came from, the execution and establishment was lacking. The very fact that it includes Doc already tells you that we’re not with Agent Kansas anymore, and that it utterly destroyed Doc’s history prior to coming to Blood Gulch. Second Point. The Time Travel. [frustrated exhausted ugh-ing] The best I can say is that the series analysis of Time Travel was fantastic. It acknowledged that the inclusion of Time Travel is meant to break continuity and reshape it. The difference here, is that it only broke continuity. In fact it shattered it so badly that we’d have to ask the Homestuck Fandom to pick the remaining pieces back up, and classpect it for good measure. The fact that Human History was so severely fusterclucked by our Teams already shows you how much respect Continuity got in these last seasons, as well as how much respect to Canon. And then there were the “Gods”. Just... Introducing someone for the funny designs and the fantastic graphic and digital movements is nice, but it doesn’t do anything. See every pitfall CGI and 3D ran into for the last few decades. See, RvB is meant to run along side Halo without destroying one another in an “Upstoppable Force meets Immovable Object” sort of way. And if nothing else, its already established that RvB also has ties to Marathon too (which, while muddled up, still works). And while plenty of the shenanigans were fantastic (Loved that Cyclops scene), the reason they got there was Weak, and it just utterly detonates itself like Church and his stomach bomb... Surrounded by people you hate, and being hunted down by the world’s worst player at a knock-knock jokes. The Third Point I despise Jax. ... I kid, that isn’t the third point. But I still don’t like the Jax. His growth into a terrible director was funny, but it doesn’t really save him or his purpose in the series. I digress. Its what I dub the “Super Hero Ex Machina”. In a “Super Hero Ex Machina” situation, reality crashes in, breaks both Narrative flow and rules, for drama. And example is with Spiderman and his web shooting. In his narrative, he can save someone easily from falling with his web shot. But if the Drama Machina Maker is introduced, then the reality of the situation crashes down as the force of the fall would completely shatter the victim’s skeleton if Spiderman caught them. As this is not already established as happening before, its only there to cause drama and not meant for any serious development or character arc. Or if a show adheres to keeping the status quo at all costs. Things that would realistically and permanently mess up the status quo are solved in 1 or 2 episodes. But if Reality crashes because Plot said so, it breaks the established rules of the Narrative (and pacing). Especially if said plotpoint could have already been solved in prior episodes easily. And that’s what they pulled on Agent Washington and his throat injury. Washington is an established survivor. He has survived some pretty messed up stuff, both mentally and physically, and he’s come so far as a character. To a point where he’s almost unrecognizable from when he was first established as the “Noir Detective Soldier Mercenary Man who plays by corrupt rules but still shines that hurting heart of gold once in a while”. Some of the stuff he’s had to survive, and potentially had to survive would’ve killed normal people. Even his writers had to take a step back and say, “No he can’t survive getting cut in half by a car”. RvB is good about changing status quo, and keeping to a rule of “actions have consequences” in order to both forward character and story. So it isn’t like they’re above permanently messing someone up (... Church.) But there are Rules on how its Handled. Story will establish and evolve said rules over time, this is true, but its a “more things change, more they stay the same” situation. And Washington’s injury... breaks that. For easy reason; For one thing, we already have a Freelancer with throat injuries, and he got them in a far worse scenario. Agent Maine was bloody machine gunned in the throat, then tossed off a freeway stories up from a ground we never even saw. And all he got was a messed up voice. There isn’t a good reason to give Wash that injury, realistic as it may be, besides playing it for Drama. And while such a circumstance should be given both the realism and seriousness it deserves, this only works if, you know, don’t play it to make a person or people suffer for Drama. Does this forward Character? No. No it doesn’t. The seasons retreat everyone’s character arcs. What little it does show is how far everyone has come... By making them take 20 steps back, and 5 steps forward. An ultimately useless gesture that neither show cases the human condition of “repeat until you finally get the lesson” or “sometimes shit happens”. Does it move the story? Only for drama. Which is a very weak reason. Even worse, as the series has already established that it can think deeply and use drama as a tool and not a plot point. If not for character or story, is it meant to be a metaphor? Metaphor for what. RvB doesn’t do metaphors. If not metaphor, is it supposed to be informative of the condition itself? RvB has bloody PSAs. No. A story is decent enough if it can mix those questions up without one consuming the other. But there wasn’t a point to do it. Just to see Wash or Carolina or the guys to suffer? To show that sometimes people get injuries they don’t bounce back from? Are you Kidding? We just permanently lost Church, and they set out to find the possibility of his existence again! That right there already Tells you that sometimes folks don’t Bounce Back. There was an entire Arc for Caboose, fer the gods’ sake, talking about it. CABOOSE. What the flyin Fu-- Ahem. There was already a ruling about Actions have Consequences. It was apart of the status quo that went as far back as the Blood Gulch Chronicles. Its filed under “The More things change, the more they stay the same”, and even throughout the Reconstruction series, there were plenty of characters pulling permanently changing stunts that affected them through the rest of their lives, or caused their death for it. [deep breath, lets it out] So. Inspite of my many problems with S15-17, there are things I adored about it. - Donut and Caboose’s arcs. Fantastically done. Caboose getting to the understanding he got in S14 about losing friends was heart breaking and beautiful. Donut’s may seem like retread and flanderization, but that is actually easily explained. When you’re under sufficient stress, your coping mechanisms will boost out from 10 to 100, and just because you’re now fully aware of it doesn’t mean you have the power or development yet to stop. It was a fantastic look into his character. - Sister. They made her into more than just a gimick and Grif’s Sister, which was a problem I had with her in Blood Gulch. Good patch up there. - The Background info and the details in Background Info with our main characters. Ye Gods, we got some backstory! The humor works, the seriousness works, its a beautiful set of puzzle pieces that fit snuggly into both canon and continuity. - Chrovos. Inspite of the time travel plot pitfalls, I actually really liked Chrovos. Wish they did more with them (Him? Her? I don’t remember if they established their pronouns). Did not like Jenkins, inspite of him being created out of a cut character. The Gods didn’t work very much either, and would’ve been better suited as characters that weren’t “gods”. It doesn’t help that they just... had inconsistant rules. - The Freelancers. I love the introduction to the Freelancers and all their nice armor designs. Too bad they’re all feckin’ dead. - Temple. I actually really liked Temple and the idea behind him. However, instead of the malakey we got, and the Time Travel Nonsense that could be theorized afterwards. It would’ve worked better if he had been the leader of a Cult of Personality or sorts, purposely and badly mimicking the hype of the RvB teams’ fame and gathering surviving former stim troopers. The terrorist thing could work, and so could the Church plot. Everything else was stupid. Remove the Time Travel, this isn’t Homestuck Hour. Thanks for you for your continued reading. ... oh Right, I forgot. As awesome as it was to see Locus again, the uselessness of Wash’s throat injury and how he was reintroduced makes him more into a Deus ex Machina (and not that Halo 3 Machinima from way back). Its like fitting a circle peg into a square hole... But getting it stuck halfway and ruining the children’s puzzle toy. ADDENDUM (edited) I hate Hate HATED how Vic parodied Church’s epilogue speech, and I just about wish Church would come back just to beat the shiznet out of him for it.

#rvb #Red vs Blue #Analysis #The Shizno #rvb season 15 #rvb season 16 #rvb season 17

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strawberryspeachy · 4 years

Text

So on the last day of july i went clubbing

Almost immediately met a cute boy and he asked me to go to a hotel with him. I debated but ultimately went with him. He asked if i wanted to go on a date because fucking japanese assholes equate date with hotel.

Went. Hooked up. Then. He said he wanted to go back to the club because otherwise “it would be a waste of his night”

Yeah

So... went back.... watched him look for another girl. And felt like shit

Eventually a boy that was ok looking talked to me. I didnt ignore him and he got excited over me talking to him after having ignored other boys. I didnt intend to continue talking to him but he was so excited the entire time and was nice so i just stayed with him.

We left together and sat on some sidewalk and talked. I saw that both his arms had cut marks all over them

And as a fucked up person... i stupidly think that other fucked up people will be as empathetic as i try to be and my depressed friends back home

He told me some of his shitty homelife - apparently he doesnt have parents

He asked me to go to a hotel with him and i said no... so we went to eat instead...

He kept being overly nice (in words) told me that he works at an old folks home and that he wants to learn english and come to america and help me take care of my mom.... in a sudden way

Rationally im not stupid and know that was a line. But im pretty stupid in general

He kept asking me to be his gf and i told him id need to go on a date with him to decide that

I just wanted to say no but...

He didnt pay for my meal - ya im one of those girls that that bothers

We seperated and he continued to text my the next few days. We set up a date. He asked me to go to him in yokohama - an hour away from tokyo

Since id never been there i said yes. But this meant i had to pay an expensive train ticket

He did pay for dinner and afterwards convience store for me... mostly... asking if i had change

He wanted to drink at the pier and insisted i get a drink but didnt pay for it

And then took me back to his apartment

It ended up being fun

The next morning while he was showering i was just poking around at his stuff. Not actually looking for anything just curious about the things he has

I looked at his wallet (honestly to see the design but i also always wonder why japanese guys are so comfortable leaving money around who is generally a stranger)

And then. I found. Picture from a photobooth. Him amd soem girl. It was dated from a week before.

He told me the night we met that he broke up with his ex a year ago. But this picture looked very much like a couple

I asked him about it and he just said sorry and threw it in the trash (not a real trash. It could easily be taken out) he said it was from a year ago

After. Bit i took it out amd pointed at the date. He literally hummed and refused to comment ...but he told me hell only see me...

I shouldn’t take that as enough but i did and told him when i got home that ill only se him too. I told him i liked him - and to this point he kept saying he likes me over and over. He has not said it since this. Just said he was happy that i used his name.

After that i went to okinawa for a few days. He told me his sim card broke and he doesnt have wifi unless he goes to a convience store (as an excuse to text slow)

I got back the next week and stayed home all week from a yeast infection that i think he gave me. When he barely responded i told him that

Then he responded continuously telling me that i just got it on my own and hes healthy so it wasnt him

That weekend i went drinking with some friends and messaged him. He responded immediately and i called him. Asking when his phone got fixed. He told me the day before

Then he told me he has pink eye and sent a picture. He said he cant go out of his house because of it

The next week was my birthday. He said hed be cured the day after and we could celebrate. Then he cancelled saying the doc told him hes still contagious

A few days after he sent me a picture of him with makeup on and contacts in saying he went to the salan. I responded immediately asking if he was still contagious and tried to call. He ignored me

I tried to call more throughout the day

Nothing

Over 24 hours pased so i used another account to say hi to him. After 2 hours he responded to the fake account asking who it was

And i flipped the fuck out. I told him a bunch of reasons why he sucked and that he did and fuck him

Then he responded to me with long messages. Many of which i couldnt understand (hes used incorrect kanji before that which makes translation strained)

His excuse was that he felt sick and slept for 20 hours (but he ignored me for over 27)and that he wanted to answer his texts in order. That he doesnt look at him phone much and then got mad at me for not being worried about him and instead getting mad

He didnt addresss any of my complaints like the fact that if im his gf i should be a priority

But because im a sucked i felt bad for trying to hurt him and apologized.... he said hed forgive me if i buy him an accessory next time we hung out...

Yeah. Red flags. I too if i had other options... would have said. Thats a weird way to accept an apology.

Also before (on that first date) when we talked about our bdays cause his was a bit before mine. I asked him what hed wanna do as a late celebration. He immediately told me he wanted yakiniku (an expensive meat meal) and clothes or accessorys from an expensive brand he likes...

So he continued to take over 24 hours to reply to me. With very small responces - he never asks me questions. I asked him to call the night before i went camping and he said he couldnt because he was too drunk from drinking with friends. I went camping and came back and got him on the phone. I demanded him to call and he said he couldnt cause he was tired from work and would the following day

I told him it makes me upset that he doesnt talk to me and that i constantly dont feel good because of him. He just said sorrry. I planned to say this is over if he didnt agree to meet me. But he agreed to a date the coming sunday... the day before i began work again. He said hed come to tokyo and and had a plan. It sounded fun.

Well come sunday morning.... he cancelled. He said he didnt have money. I tried to call him several times and he ignored me.

I confronted him in person. He got mad at me for it. Said he got some sort debt collection and got frauded... someone used his name to take out money and he has to pay court. He said he doesnt have money because of it.

I asked why he never tells me whats going on with him (because im dumb and beleive this... actually i dont. I hope hes being honestly and just has really bad luck but)

This time like last time i told him the way he treats me is how really awful boys who are using me and playing with me treat me. And i cant trust him if hes like this but doesnt tell me why

Well...i was there... i offered to pay for out date.... besides the 11 dollars it takes to get to him

He asked me to put 5 dollars on his train card.... it takes 3 dollads to get to and from where we went. He... mad sure no matter where we would eat it would cost 40 bucks - wanting to drink alc and such. It costed 43 dollars. He wanted starbucks but i kinda said no by saying i dont rlly like starbucks - but he still wanted to get a dessert - 3 dollars

And... he wanted me to buy him that aftermentioned accessory... a ring. He looked at very expensive ones... i... would not have paid for even as stupid as i am.. the one he got was 15 or 25 I forget which...

The thing is... if he wasnt actually... if i wasn’t comfortable being with him i woulda stopped this before... unfortunately. As usual. Despite initially not being attracted to him i really enjoyed his company and find him to be fun...

He said that we should go home at 8 i asked about going back to him place and he said no because hes tired and has work the next day. He knows i also do too. At the same time. And i tried to convince him and he kept saying no. Then i asked doesnt he wanna have sex. He said that we should go to a hotel. And i protested that hotels are expensive and his apartments free and just a cheap train station away. He said hes too tired and just wants to sleep at his apartment but hotels are exciting so hed be awake at a hotel.

He pushed them and i said at that point id be spending like 100 dollars on the day and he knows i also dont have a lot of money.

We awkwardly went to a manga cafe that was only 5 dollars but it wanted you to make a card that costs 5 more dollads. And then i got fussy because too much stress literally makes me lose control of my emotions.

It fucking sucks and i hate it. I have no fucking control over my emotions when my stress is bubbling (which it almost always is) and boils over.

I asked him if he can even pay just the 5 dollars and he said he has no money. I asked how hes gonna get to work with literally no money and he said his conpany pays for it (yea japanese conpanies pay AFTER you go )

We left. It was a bad mood. He didnt storm away from me even though i was basically crying in the street (i have had this happen with even friends. I start crying and they just walk away so even though it should be expected of someone claiming to be your bf... ya)

Anyhow i told him i just wanted to cuddle and talk and kiss

He looked annoyed but i guess he thought those wants were cute and looked for a isolated place

Because were in japan

Couldnt find one cause we were in a city and he again just started saying lets go home. That hes tired and not in the mood.

But we were in a quiet enough play.

And im bitching here but ill take a quick break to say i kept hugging him and stuff which he liked despite saying he was really embarrassed

He told me ealier ok that because of this debt thing hes gonna work two jobs

Which. Terrified me. The first guy I went on a date with in Japan asked me to be his gf and to move in with him and said he had to work two jobs for a month to afford to move so he wouldnt have time to see me. He told me his progress for two weeks and then ghosted me.

This boy told me hell make time to see me when i complained about not doing anything physical when i wouldnt see him again for who knows how long

Welp. Todays saturday and that was sunday. And while at first i thought he was trying because he replied to my messages in or at 24 hours for a few days. Its gone back to the 17 hours

And i asked him to talk on the phone

And he just said not tonight because after his current job hes working at home too

And because im dumb ive waisted my whole saturday waiting for him to reply and crying.

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