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cursedcola · 6 months

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Prompt: "Will You Marry Me?" - Proposal Headcannons Characters: Everyone :) Part(s): Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde(here!), Diasomnia(Pt.1)(Pt.2) Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Warning(s): The relationship is kinda toxic because it's Idia and I have to be realistic - but it gets better as you read. Just know that there are themes of miscommunication, self-sabotage, self-neglect, and insecurity in both Idia and the MC. I gave him some character growth at least and some maturation to the character. Note: All Ignihyde has is Idia so I gave his piece some extra love(super long. Like, this isn't even considered a headcannon set anymore. I really went overboard, I'm so sorry). Not proofread for grammar since I'm a bit lazy right now. Also, I haven't finished his chapter in game because I'm too weak (seriously wtf is up with these fights). I know the plot mostly but forgive me if there's an inaccuracy in a reference

Idia had it made during his youth - and deep down he knows it despite all his complaining. He knows that he won the introvert lottery. For three years he was able to live in a reclusive dorm room with no expectations beyond showing up to class (via a tablet of all things) and doing his work. Sure, he had to return home at some point and deal with that hot mess...but it was a displaced problem. One to be dealt with whenever. As a full-time 'student' he had junk food readily available, his brother down the hall, all the games and tech he needed, and somehow managed to land himself a loving partner despite his quirks.

The Ramshackle prefect - someone he initially wanted nothing to do with. Chaos seemed to follow their every move and Idia wanted no part of it. He never expected to come within a twenty-foot radius of them without force.

For the record, force indeed was used. Unfortunately they had a nasty habit of being nosy. Very 'main character complex' of them, if you ask him.

Yet it worked in his favor. Their stubbornness and intrusive ways wormed a place in his stone-cold heart. It fueled his ego much to everyone's chagrin. Out of everyone - princes, busy bodies, future doctors and the literal fish mafia - you picked him. The noob cursed to lose all his 50/50s and rot in bluelight. Idia seriously questions your tastes, but hey! He beat the normies and that's all he cares about.

Well, at least that's how he phrases it. Underneath that god-tier ego is an inferiority complex that he tries to keep down for your benefit. Something about your mood dipping by 20% when he talks trash? He'd need Ortho to run another test on that. Just to be safe.

Unfortunately, he still can't reign it in all the way. Victories can be temporary and who's he to say that your relationship isn't a one-shot story? Nothing worthwhile is ever that simple. Good games always get sequels...so the question lingers, will he still be a main character in yours?

When Idia graduates, he fully expects for you to walk out of his life. He returns to S.T.Y.X and leaves NRC to fulfill his role back home. You have no reason to care about him when he's no longer nearby. Life isn't like an isekai manga. You won't wait for him - no, you'll get a taste for how life is without him and indulge. Slowly you'll stop texting him, calling him, playing games with him - well, he'll do it first! He refuses to be the second male lead that gets dumped when you finally find your prince. That's for chumps.

He'd rather you just up and leave this world! At least then he wouldn't be in this pitiful situation...but he's seen that crow's shitty work ethic. You're stuck.

Idia's scared to say the least. One could say that his self sabotage was in action before your relationship even began. Old habits die hard, and no one could stop his spiral. Not even Ortho. Idia left his little brother behind as well. The boy sent him off with a smile, promising to take good care of you in his big brother's stead. After all, you both were in the same year.

It's not surprising that he reverts to his old ways. A hard battle is even more difficult to win when you don't have the motivation to fight it in the first place. Idia loses his drive...and in turn his already negative outlook grows worse.

Needless to say, Idia ... neglects you.

Your relationship has always been more of an 80:20 than a 50:50 - with him taking more than he ever gave. You always set aside time and made sure he was comfortable. You respected his anxieties and dealt with his temper on more than one occasion. His jealousy. You indulged his hobbies, always tried to include him in on activities with your friends (even though he rarely ever accepted), wore your heart on your sleeve and always took the lead. You were always too good to be true.

Two years. Two years with him at S.T.Y.X and you at NRC. Not a day passed where you did not text him or call. Not a week passed where you did not video-chat or play a game with him. You made time. You checked in. Told him stories about your life an friends. Ortho often would send him recordings and clips as well. During vacations you'd make plans to see him and always invited him to come to campus for events. Even though he never accepted, you still always offered. Throughout it all he kept you at a distance, yet unable to fully let you go at the same time. He needed you to do it. He needed his inner thoughts to shut up and to have someone else to blame.

You. You. You. When would you stop? Why weren't you tired of him yet? On a good day he can be frustrating, so how were you not mad when he was physically trying to make you hate him? Were you waiting until graduation to drop the bomb on him that you'd leave for good? On another's arm or back to your world?

Imagine his surprise when neither happened. On the dawn after Ortho's graduation ceremony, Idia came out of his cave to greet him at the S.T.Y.X entrance. He would no longer be as lonely, and perhaps without Ortho around, you'd finally put distance between yourself and the Shroud family. All would be as it should.

He did not expect to see you at the gate as well. Ortho flew up to him with a bright grin and twirl in the air - babbling on and on about how he arranged for you to come work as a research assistant in the lab. After all, you had an extensive knowledge of blot as well as field experience. It was a win-win situation for the company and your relationship! You could now be a happy family! Isn't that just amazing?

"It was extremally difficult to keep this a surprise!...Brother?" Ortho halts mid-rant, his receptors going haywire, "Brother, your heartrate has increased and your temperature is dropping below stable levels. You must regulate your breathing pattern!"

White noise rang like television static in Idia's eardrum. He watched you thank one of the guards while handing off your suitcase. His pulse increased and mind went under water. How long had it been since you were together longterm? You looked different. More mature. Meanwhile he was still the same - physically and emotionally. Still the pasty shut-in with dark eyebags and energy drinks running through his veins instead of blood. He wasn't used to seeing you in person. How should he react? Should he hug you? Do you want him to? That's weird. He hasn't held you in a while - yeah, it would be creepy. Does he even deserve to? What made you want to work here anyways?! You could have gone anywhere. ANYWHERE. - Shit. You're looking this way. What should he do?! aHH! You're walking over!

He does what he knows best. Shuts down. You receive a disgraceful greeting. No affection. Not even a smile.

Idia's brow furrows at your approach and he buries his hands deep into the pockets of his lab-coat. When you lean in to kiss his cheek, he catches you by the forearms and holds you in place. "Since when were you going to work here? You do remember what S.T.Y.X is in charge of, right? Once you're in, there's no going back. Are you a masochist or something?" Ah. There goes the heartfelt reunion. Being home did bring out a more harsh and cut-throat side of him after all.

Despite his poor treatment, you don't react upset. Now the relationship has now become something of a 90 : 10. He knows you have no reason to come here other than for Ortho and himself. You really are an Otome protagonist, jeez. Willing to do all that for him? Giving up your future and friends just to be at his side...dammit. Don't give him hopes! Don't undo all the work he's put in to survive without you! Stop welcoming misfortune for his sake! You're stupid. Stupidstupidstupid .... man he loves that stupidity. Gods he missed it.

Shit. Not even an hour in and he's reverting.

You don't realize it but you're heading straight for a bad ending. He does though. He's read the guides and played more visual novels than he can count. As a pro, he needs to steer you off this villainy ending and towards the true route.

After all ... what was that one saying? Heroes will sacrifice you for the world, while Villans will sacrifice the world for you? He heard it from some normie bookworm...but it seems fitting right now.

Idia's no hero. He'll destroy his world if it means you get to be happy. Not that he had much of one to begin with. You...gave him a life beyond fiction while all he's offered is a curse. Literally and figuratively. Its time he returned what he so greedily stole. He'll make you move on through force.

The months are slow and difficult. Despite being nearby, Idia only ever seeks you out for work-related reasons. Even then he is very cold and dismissive . He also does not turn you away when you take the initiative. Just like old times, you linger around his room and prod him for attention. He wants you to leave, but also doesn't want to be cruel. So, he maintains this impassive position and lets you do whatever you please. Yet the situation is scarily similar to how you both were at NRC. Except instead of using his past as an excuse, he now uses your work dynamic to enable his noncommittal ways.

There really is only so much one person can take. After Idia left NRC, you pinned his switch in behavior on the lifestyle change and distance separating you both. You knew Idia would be someone you had to work hard for when you started to date, and so the situation was one you viewed as an obstacle to overcome. The solution was simple - you would go to S.T.Y.X and prove to him that you were willing to make it work. Without the physical distance, you hoped that he would let you in again. That you wouldn't have to hear reassurances from his brother anymore, and instead hear his feelings from his own mouth instead. Then you both could work out the details together in time. Seeing him reject you at first was discouraging, but you did not let it rest there. Perhaps he needed time and to get used to your presence in his home. After all, these were new waters. You would be patient. You would prove yourself capable.

Life becomes a time capsule. As the days went by, a bitter feeling grew in your stomach. Why wouldn't he laugh? Why wouldn't he look in your eyes anymore? Why is he retreating even further? What were you doing wrong? How could you fix it? Is it you? Your performance in the lab is outstanding according to your supervisors, and your work friends seem to find you agreeable enough. Can't he see that you've adjusted well and are happy here? There's nothing to worry about. How else can you prove yourself?

These thoughts plague your mind to an extend that Ortho felt the need to preform psychiatric evaluation. You dismissed his concerns with a long list of things about your new home that make you happy - including him. It pacifies his panic and somehow mitigates your own as well.

Until one fateful day, when you decided to take your lunch early and overheard a conversation between two senior S.T.Y.X employees

"Isn't the boss' partner kind of pitiful?" One technician spoke in a hush whisper, taking a bite from her salad, "He doesn't give them the time of day. I can't believe they've stuck around this long. Screw the job, I would have been out after the first week," "Shhh! Quit gossiping, it's bad. Especially about the one who pays our bills," The other scolds. "I know....but isn't it just sad. They're clearly being taken advantage of. I can't help but feel sorry" "It's not just you...to tell the truth, I had no clue Director Idia had a partner up until recently. If anything, I thought he disliked Assistant MC and kept them around for Director Ortho's sake. Imagine my shock..." They both snicker at the notion. "Yeah. I give them a few more months...maybe a year. Despite being smart in the lab, they clearly can't read the room:

It was the last straw. Like ice water being dunked over your head after a hot shower. The lunch pale in your grasp suddenly felt like it weighed ten times heavier, and a cold sweat dripped down your back. They were right. He didn't want you here. It was time to move on or else you'll just be living out an endless loop. Nothing has changed since your youth aside from the location. No matter how long you wait, no matter how much effort and time you offer ... the relationship is doomed to fail. You gave him everything...and it was time to stop waiting. To stop expecting and hoping. Time to accept reality.

Your lunch goes discarded in a nearby bin and your shift abandoned. You would not work another second for S.T.Y.X despite the facility not being the source of your anguish. Your shoes clack loudly against the tile flooring as you speed-walk to Idia's office, where he was lazily reviewing data on a recent experiment. His phone set off to the side with some automated gatcha daily playing.

You use your 'special' pass (curtesy of ortho) to get in. The metal door swings out as you march inside and turn off his screen without asking.

"H-h'-hey! What are you-" He shrieks and turns in his chair. "We need to talk" "Can't it wait until later? I'm busy working, if you can't tell" "No" Your tone is demanding. Definite. You all but yank the badge from around your neck and drop it in his lap. In that motion, he knew. Your eyes scrunch tight and teeth grind together. He was prepared for this. For you to lash out and yell at him for your suffering. Make him the bad guy in your story and finally beat the game for good. Not for you to deflate. Not for the glassy, disappointed stain on your eyes. Or the shallow breaths as you calm yourself - not letting your emotions frighten him like a spooked cat. "I'm quitting," "S.T.Y.X? You know you can't just quit. There's a process," He refutes, lazily pushing his chair back with an anxious fidget. "Not just S.T.Y.X...I'm quitting us. I can't do this anymore," "Oh. Alright. Let me get the paperwork," "Alright?" You whisper, gaping at him "...just alright? That's all you have to say to me? Not even 'why' ?" He pauses typing on a holographic keyboard, cocking an eyebrow at the question. "What? You want me to beg you to stay or something like that? We're not in an anime," His words die out at the end, and had it not been for your disbelief you would have caught the note of sadness in them, "you want to go? Then go. I warned you about this place" "No...you warned me about the facility. It's not the facility I have a problem with. I actually like it here" "So it's me then, huh? I warned you about that too," He grumbles and continues to type, "I'm not whatever it is that you saw in me. It's your fault for sticking it out this long. I knew this was how it would end from the start" A silence follows aside from the occasional noise from his computer. That's it. The nail in the coffin. You finally realized the truth. He was no good for you. He couldn't be 'fixed'. With an approving chime, he finally has all the departure paperwork pulled up for you to sign. "Alright. Sign these and I'll get you an escort," He holds out a tablet in pen without looking from his computer. You don't take it. "Hello? I said - " he turns to face you, irritated "....here" Silent tears stream down your cheeks and pool at the tip of your chin, dripping to the tile below. Wide eyes lock in his general direction. Your hands tremble slightly at your sides, as if your mind was thousands of miles away. His heart breaks. "You never even gave us a chance, did you?" He says nothing. "It wasn't about 'making it work' for you. It was always a matter of 'how long'. You've been waiting for me to leave you, all this time?" It wasn't a question. "All this time, I've been trying to prove myself. I've been thinking that I did something wrong...that I needed to be better" the word stings your tongue and seems to strike him, " but I was never even close to enough" we were never enough

With languid movements, you take the pen from him and sign the papers. You would not hide your sadness. Your grief. Your pain for a relationship that was never actually one. For a battle that only had one party fighting.

He lets you go, the metal door swinging shut and rattling him to his core. Idia's hands shake as he tries to return to his work. They tremble over the holographic keyboard, making his blue nails look like moving neon streaks in the air.

He had always thought you ere just being kind. That your self-sacrificing nature was natural, and that someone else was more deserving of it. He failed to consider the possibility that all the things you did...you did for him alone. You did out of the same anxieties and fears he felt.

In a way, you both were at fault. He led himself down a self-fulfilling prophecy - letting his anxieties and what-ifs become reality. And you? You thought everything could be fixed with time. With sacrifice. That eventually he would grow. You both were plants, one overwatered and the other left parched in the sun.

He did get one thing right. This was defiantly a bad end. Just not in the way he originally believed...

Somehow, life becomes worse than before you arrived at S.T.Y.X. At least when you were around, people did see him more out of his office or room. Seeing him revert to his previous ways without so much as an inkling of sadness for losing you....yeah, it did not look good. Worse than people not even knowing you were his partner at first. After your departure, rumors began to spread that you had finally snapped. The pity felt for you morphed into judgement towards his character. Others saw him as a heartless recluse, and the pity was extended to Ortho of all things. If Idia could toss out a loyal partner of years, what about the little robot? Perhaps despite all the gossip, the others at S.T.Y.X did not fully believe that he would let you leave so easily. That he wasn't as detached as the Shroud name dictates.

Little do they know that he's become a shadow of his former self. He can't even act self-depreciative. Pleasantries don't hit like they used to. Having you at a distance...well, was still considered as being with you. Now that you're never coming back, it's harder. Everything reminds him of you. Your favorite snacks are still stocked in the cafeteria, and there are blankets in his room that still have your scent. Occasionally a file will pop up with your work in it while he's doing reviews...and then there's Ortho. When you left, he was crushed. He pestered Idia for days - the security cameras giving him full knowledge of what happened. Yet no matter what the robot said about the situation, Idia didn't want to hear it. Eventually he took away Ortho's access data to his personal spaces.

That didn't stop the bot from talking through the door and spamming his brother's inboxes. Despite cutting off contact with his big brother, you still spoke to Ortho regularly. He refused to let his big brother lose all connection to you, and updated him on your well-being. Regardless of what Idia said, hearing about you made a difference. At first it increases his anxiety and drops his mood...but every time, like a scheduled delay, his serotonin levels will spike. Be it from a clip of your voice, a picture, or even just the mention of your name.

"Brother! I just finished a call with MC. Today they decided to adopt a cat! Would you like to see a picture?" His computer beeps with an incoming missive. Idia clicks it, and the screen displays a photo of you with a small white kitten in your arms. "They've decided to name it Grimm Jr. From what I heard, the predecessor was not pleased to be 'replaced,' as he calls it" Ortho laughs from the other side of the door, but Idia is too focused on the image on his screen. The curve in your smile and the way you gently cradle the kitten. You seem...happy. Much better than how he is doing. He fails to hear the door beep, granting access, neither the bot fly up next to him to look at the picture. "Big brother, why don't you apologize to MC? They would listen," Idia startles, clutching his chest as his hair flairs cherry red for a brief moment. He swivels in his chair and closes the image quickly. "I'm not apologizing for nothing. It's not like I miss them or anything. My life's great without having a normie relationship to manage" "Your body language suggests that you are lying" Ortho states, his eyes squinting cheekily. Idia hunches over, glaring at his keyboard and fiddling with his sleeves, "It's not like they'd want to see me anyways. I blew it. Only an idiot would forgive what I did," "That's not true! MC loves you!" Idia glares at him from the corner of his eye, "Yeah? They look pretty happy without me. They were miserable here" "Because you purposefully made them miserable! You are very smart brother, but even I understand emotions better than you and I am an artificial lifeform!" "Then what should I do, Ortho? Go beg them to take me back like some cringe sitcom?!" "Yes!" Idia blanches at the thought, but doesn't entirely dismiss it. Ortho glares holes into his head, causing Idia to shrink into his chair. "You are always afraid, brother. You lost them to your fears once...do you want to regret that? Are you really satisfied with pictures and stories? Why deny yourself wonderful things! We are not trapped anymore!"

Ortho leaves him with one piece of information - an apartment address. He sends it to all of Idia's emails and even somehow makes it the background of his tablet. He can't change it or take it off.

He stares at it long and hard. Searches the place up and even uses virtual reality to scope out the building. While perhaps a bit creepy...he hacks the security cameras and watches feed of you coming and going over the past moths. Some days you look perfectly well, and others you look worse for wear. If he went...would you even want to see him? Would you let him in? Kick him out? Is he willing to even try? What if you already moved on...no, Ortho wouldn't set him up for that if he knew you were happy with someone else.

Idia leaves S.T.Y.X for the first time in months. His request for leave shocks other employees. Yet he's gone the moment it's approved, afraid that he'll lose his edge if he thinks too long on it.

He finds himself at the door of a middle-class apartment in the Kingdom of Roses. Second floor, third door to the left, just like he memorized. He knows its yours from the ribbons tied on the doorknob, themed after one of your favorite animes. One he introduced to you...

In his hands is a small box of candies - a peace offering, just in case you want to kill him on sight.

His boney knuckles wrap around the doorknocker and thwack it three times. Sweat pools in his palms and he jolts away. The seconds like hours as his painted nails dig crescents into his palms. The door opens. "Hi, how can I -" You pause mid-sentence, your mouth going dry. Grimm Jr. snuggled in one of your arms while the other holds the door open, "I-idia?" "T-that's my name," He grimaces, looking anywhere but at you. "What are you doing here?" His tongue feels heavy and the tips of his hair fade to a pale orange. He studders and fumbles with the box of candies, holding them out to you with a grimace. "I wanted to see you...urk. I hope that's not weird! Can ... I come in?" You eye the box in thought, before reaching out to take it and opening the door further. It was a start.

You hear him out - through the stuttering and the self-depreciative comments that he hastily retracts. This isn't just about him. It's about you and everything else in-between. Shockingly enough, you agree to give him a second chance. It wasn't entirely his fault after all ... and you did still love him. Although now there are ground rules. You would not be returning to S.T.Y.X. You've finally created a stable home for yourself and have a life in this new city. You have a career, friends, and a life that doesn't include him. You need the individuality. You would no longer try to morph yourself for him or be placid. If he wanted to spend time with you, he would have to leave S.T.Y.X and come stay at your apartment. You would no longer be the one always reaching out, he would have to start showing initiative and making time for you. You would see how things progress from that point. He was not a child, and you would not beg for basic needs to be met anymore. Words would not be enough, you need actions. It was time for 50 : 50.

Weirdly enough, he agrees to all your rules without a single complaint. Not a normie comment or slang filled statement leaves his lips. He's still that nerdy dork you fell in love with at heart, but these 'normie' things? Well, Idia's accepted that he wants those things. As much as it is difficult for him to admit, they only grossed him out so much before because he always believed they were unattainable

He's true to his word. He calls you every day, first thing when he wakes up (in the late afternoon. He still is a hermit at heart). At first it made him anxious, and he'd hover over the contact for fifteen minutes before dialing. Yet it soon became easy, with his heart only beating fast from happiness. He takes the weekends off and comes to spend them at your apartments. Sometimes he brings Ortho and it becomes a sleepover with games - and at some point you start inviting your other heartslabyul friends from back in the day too. Eventually you do come around the compound again. It's awkward to say the least, considering how you left. Yet at the same time, it's a breath of fresh air. The others are shocked to see him out of his office, and he eats IN THE CAFETERIA. Woah. He calls you by your name and not 'assistant' when in public. Homie scares some people. That's what he does. He gives you a special watch for your anniversary. It's paired with on he has and solar powered, so you can contact him at any time. As a natural born worry-wart, he can't help but worry for your safety. Since watching the appartment CCTV is 'creepy,' he just asks that you wear the watch if you're going out anywhere. It won't die and with the click of a button he'll be alerted. In exchange, you can use it to contact him whenever you want. He'll always get back instantly since it might be an emergency. The watch is also directly linked to Ortho's system, so you can contact him as well. Who needs Cortana when you have Ortho?

For the first time, Idia feels secure in a relationship. He can't count Ortho since the boy is technically his creation. Ortho would always be there...and now? Idia's confident you will too.

Does that mean you should get married? Isn't that the next step in all this?

Well....shit (pleasant connotation)

He never would have tinkered with this idea before considering his 'family'. Who the hell in their right mind would marry a Shroud? A fool. Are you a fool? Maybe.

It's late evening on a Sunday night when you're both walking home together after hitting up a local diner for hearty eats. Wow. Look at him. On a date. So weird...pshh.

Idia walks at your side, forcing his pace to match yours. Not everyone is graced with his long stickman legs. His hands are buried deep in his hoodie and his posture is slightly slouched. Classic scary dog privilege for a nighttime walk - well, if his hair didn't scream valentine's day pink to the world. Although no one else has flaming hair other than the Shroud family, so he doubts anyone would interrupt.

You decide to take the long path home and through a nearby park. The night was still young for nightowls such as yourselves, and fresh air was always crisp at this hour.

Along that path you decide to stop at a cement bench by some vending machines and chill out for a bit. Despite having just ate, Idia gets you each a can of coffee.

He'd be leaving to go back to S.T.Y.X tomorrow. Like he does every Sunday. His gaze drifts to the watch on your wrist and thinks about adding some new features - maybe video chat? So he can see you throughout the day. He wonders what you'll be up to while he's stuck in the lab. Maybe you'll go shopping, or play a new game. Maybe you'll try out a new recipe or take Grimm Jr. out to play. He wishes he could see you during the week.

Ah. You're talking. He should probably tune in or you'll get mad at him. Why's it so hard to focus? He hasn't felt this uneasy in a while...

Why is he having these kinds of thoughts? It's weird.

"You okay? You seem a little spaced," You pull him from his thoughts, a concerned crease wrinkling your temple. "Eh. It's nothing. Just not looking forward to the week," he chuckles weakly. "I know that feeling. It's always a bummer when you dip. Not to sound clingy or anything" His golden hues spark for a moment, a pale pink dusting his cheeks as he whips his head to look at you.

"W-wait - really? I was just thinking the same thing...." "You were?" "Yeah. It's...kind of weird without you. Everything's emptier. Wow. That was pretty cringe. Sorry." He grimaces, internally screaming and knowing that this was going to replay when he tried to sleep later. You tilt your head at him, a slight frown on the cusp of your lip. Something tickles at his fingers and he looks down to see you lace your hand with his. "I miss you too," your words are soft. Genuine. He feels his neck grow hot, the pink glow radiating off him betraying him. Idia looks between your interlaced fingers and the drink in his hand. There...wouldn't ever be a 'right' time for this. Would there? You've waited long enough. He pulls his hand away and pops the soda tab off with deft hands.

"Hey..." he twiddles with the soda tab in his hands, "on a scale of 1-10, how are my odds of getting a yes?" "A 'yes' to what?" "To this, " he sighs through his nose, holding the tab out towards you with a shaking hand, "will you marry me?"

{A soda tab from canned coffee. Not the most charming offering, and it barely fits around your pinky finger. Yet, Idia's always been impulsive at his core. Had he not acted in the moment, he likely would have ran countless possibilities over and over in his mind. While not your forever ring, the tab will remain a sentimental piece}

{Idia is not a man with a keen eye fore jewelry - but he knows quality. Combine his eye for perfection with his craftsmanship and behold - a ring made from purified blot. The center gem is a piece of magestone in it's most refined state. The band is titanium and there are small sapphires along the molding. Since he would be wearing a matching band, Idia decided to keep the design simple. He prefers functionality over all. Yet he does want you to feel proud of his handiwork, so he includes vintage molding on your band only. He wears a smooth black band on his ring finger, and never removes it}

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst scenarios #twst imagines #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland scenarios #twst idia shroud #idia shroud x reader #idia shroud #twst idia #IM DEAD #THIS TOOK FOUR HOURS #I LEGIT WAS NOT PLANNING TO WRITE ALL THIS #MY HANDS

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anghraine · 6 months

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I couldn't work it into the other post, but something I was also thinking about with regard to Wickham as a child is ... okay, on the one hand, I think it's important to bear in mind that child Wickham was, in fact, a child. We can't just assume he was evil from day 1. I find him more interesting if he's not intrinsically evil, and I do have some sympathy for the weird position he was in.

In some ways, Wickham seems to have been treated as essentially another son. Mrs Reynolds says that Mr Darcy raised him (entirely at his own expense), Wickham says that he and Darcy were objects of the same parental care, Darcy that Wickham was brought up to expect exertion on his behalf and was the favorite of his (Darcy's) father. Wickham was given a gentleman's education, sent to school and Cambridge, and a valuable living in the Church was planned for him. This is the kind of thing that would be done for him if he actually were a younger son.

But the thing is ... he's not Mr Darcy's son. He's the son of Mr Wickham, Mr Darcy's steward. Wickham is in reality a charity case entirely dependent on the Darcys' good will—this is part of why Darcy says it would have been a depravity to turn on him without reason. Wickham's brought up for genteel life, but the path set out for him is one he is remarkably ill-suited to (not only morally, as it will turn out, but temperamentally). I've sometimes wondered what it was like to be Wickham at ... say, 12 or 13.

Still, I also wonder if he was already kind of a handful.

Evidently not to Mr Darcy—Darcy says his father not only enjoyed Wickham's society due to his engaging manners, but always had the highest opinion of him. We have no idea what Lady Anne thought or did. But realistically, the people who dealt with young Wickham and Darcy the most were probably the servants.

Wickham insists that Mrs Reynolds was fond of him. Maybe she was, though she has nothing good to say about him now. She describes him in fairly impersonal terms at Pemberley, and after saying he's in the army now, remarks, "I am afraid he has turned out very wild." She seems pretty eager to shift the conversation to Darcy and says, "But I have always observed, that they who are good-natured when children, are good-natured when they grow up; and he [Darcy] was always the sweetest tempered, most generous-hearted boy in the world."

I've wondered if this conclusion was affected by Wickham as well as Darcy—if she sees something of the Wickham who turned out wild in her memories of Wickham the child, and this reinforces her sense of the significance of childhood behavior. She insists that she's never had a cross word from Darcy, even as a small child (she's been at Pemberley since he was 4, i.e. 24 years). But given her conclusions about children and her characterization of adult Wickham, I wouldn't be surprised if the first people to experience the brunt of Wickham's poor behavior were the servants at Pemberley.

#anghraine babbles #long post #anghraine's headcanon #george wickham #mrs reynolds #fitzwilliam darcy #austen blogging #pride and prejudice #jane austen

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celestialtarot11 · 1 month

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Pisces rising and their angular houses ♓️🧘‍♀️

Friends it’s been so long since I got back to this series 😫 but here we are! Enjoy! Please like comment and reblog 🤍☕️

Pisces Rising ♓️- A lot of pisces risings I know feel misunderstood, misinterpreted, and have dealt with taking on others projections at a young age. They feel like an old soul, yet treated like they are naive by others. Pisces risings are meant to tap into unconditional love (exaltation is Venus) by working through conditions placed on them. Lots of pisces have the ability to tap deeply into the subconscious when ready to heal, their shadows are essentially their guiders. Pisces risings are multi dimensional and as they grow older realize their peace is important, not the opinions and projections of others. Its why lots of pisces are seen spending time alone to sit in their energy, they love their independence, and their presence. Its also a great way to set boundaries so they don’t suck in unwanted energy. Pisces have the ability to rejuvenate themselves after trauma and attract new beginnings whilst closing out cycles. They can shift to their new reality with ease 💅🏻 once they set their mind to it, nothing can stop them! They have unwavering faith in what they desire which is what makes them successful.

Gemini 4th house ♊️- Pisces risings could have a big family or a lot of siblings, as Gemini is ruled by Mercury. Not all of them have a lot of siblings however. With gemini here the mother could have been manipulating with her words, and cunning. She is intelligent but uses it for her personal gain. A lot of pisces risings childhood contain narratives and ego based stories from others, rumor and gossip. Its why pisces risings are misunderstood, because people don’t see beyond the projections they put out. Pisces risings have the ability to get closer to their emotional side by healing their tumultuous past. The stories Pisces tells themselves is important to make sure they aren’t continuing past cycles of sabotage. Pisces risings are intellectuals, and harbor a lot of knowledge from their childhood. Specifically wisdom about what they went through and experienced. They can easily overthink the past, and over analyze themselves, which is why it’s important to have a balance. Their emotional + logical side is meant to work together in this lifetime. The possible education was a high standard in their childhood, one parent could have pushed for the native to be experienced. Curiosity, intelligence, and knowledge are core parts of Pisces risings childhood. Their inner child is always wanting knowledge and is curious about how the world works, including people and the spiritual realm. Lots of pisces risings have journals because their minds can overthink, so they need a place to dump their thoughts.

Virgo 7th house ♍️- With virgo in the 7th house it’s important for Pisces to meet the side of them that grounds their manifestation into reality. Pisces has the ability to create and ground manifestations. Pisces can struggle with anxiety in relationships and can be detail oriented in who they want to be with (friends, partner, etc) They can be picky because they have high standards and it may not be something people understand. They may criticize the native for simply having desires and needs just as much as anyone else. Pisces loves channeling their knowledge into connections and partnerships, so to them their relationships are important. It’s important for them to choose people who are health conscious, set boundaries, and are intellectuals. Pisces may struggle to set boundaries and find common ground in relationships, but eventually Pisces learns they can be a dreamer whilst being a realist. Developing healthy boundaries and relationships is very important in this lifetime! A reminder that Pisces also needs room to flow, change, adapt in relationships and it doesn’t have to be rigid or practical all of the time!

Sagittarius 10th house ♐️- Its possible Pisces risings father could have higher education, or knowledge. He is well knowledgeable and shares it with family. Or wants a legacy and may put pressure onto Pisces rising to fulfill that. It’s possible the father also could have used his knowledge in an arrogant way, being self righteous. The father’s temperament could have been an issue. The father could have also been a teacher for Pisces, constantly trying to guide the native in the right direction, but due to the tense relationship between the two, it could always come across forcefully and unwanted. Pisces is meant to explore their options in this lifetime with career. Self entrepreneurship especially and incorporating their talents into their job. They may into a musical career, or art of some kind because channeling their feelings and thoughts into their artwork is a way for them to be understood. Pisces may also find themselves feeling assertive in a career they build on their own, they feel free. They love their freedom and alone time! Anything that channels their inner expression Pisces will love. Fashion, music, art work, content creation, etc. Pisces have the ability to manifest money and success, and attract new opportunities in their career/job! When Pisces taps into their desires & creativity that is when they are the most happiest. When they follow their intuition and heart and show to themselves they are loveable, is when Pisces taps into Venusian energy.

Thank you everyone ❤️ I hope this resonated for you Pisces out there and I always appreciate your feedback! Please like comment and reblog to share the love 🌹🤍

Paid Readings 👀🌹

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ethereal-night-fairy · 10 months

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Forgotten sorrows

Chapter 1

A Fae!AU story including COD characters

Fae!Soap X Female Reader

Your sister meets a mysterious man with an odd name and things just spiral downhill from there.

Warnings: MDNI, suggestive language, one use of the word fuck, dark themes , minor character death, attempted SA (not by soap),

This story was completely inspired by @ghouljams Fae!Au of COD MW. This won't make much sense if you don't read their blog. But I promise you won't be disappointed their an amazing writing so you should definitely check out their jaw dropping work. I hope I could do this au some justice. It's been a really long time since I've written a story. Sorry for any spelling mistakes in advance I did proof read when I was editing this chapter but I could've missed something. I'm halfway through the second chapter which will be extra angsty and hopefully in the third you'll enjoy Soap's Pov. Other COD characters will make appearances later on if I decide I want to continue writing.

Forgotten Sorrows Masterlist

Masterlist

Words: 7k

The Renaissance festival was beginning to take life, like a dragon awakening from its long slumber. Majority of stalls were set up with a numerous array of artwork, jewellery and knick knacks on display, while the main stage for theatrical performances was receiving its final touch ups. Food stalls were made to look like tavern bars and the arena for jousting was getting rowdy with fans cheering for their favourite 'knights'.

Groups of people were beginning to pile in dressed in their finest mythical attire, their excitement creating a buzz and ripple through the air, it was almost electrifying. Some costumes were eerily realistic causing you some discomfort if you stared too long. Your own excitement was settling in as you finished setting up your stall with your work. You liked dabbling in a number of different creative hobbies hence why your stall looked like the inside of a pawn shop but at least your products all matched an aesthetic making it look somewhat cohesive.

The place was getting increasingly crowded as the festival went into full swing. People had bumped past your stall in a hurry causing things to tumble to the ground. You rush to pick them up as people brush past you. Looking up you catch the eye of a strange man who just stares at you while you tidy things away. You try to ignore him as his eyes roam your body but you can practically feel his eyes on you. Suddenly a hand settles on your shoulder as you finish fixing your display causing you to jump.

Turning around you see your younger sister, smiling ear to ear. You sigh with relief as you looked around to find that the odd man had disappeared. She had just come from the stage with her binder in hand, obviously excited to tell me something with the way she was bouncing. She was dressed as a pink fairy-like creature more on the costume side rather than aiming for accuracy, but she looked beautiful nonetheless.

"Well? Go on, tell me what's gotten you so jittery", You smirk holding her shoulders swaying her back and forth jokingly.

She smiles and begins her monologue as if she's talking to an audience. She goes on and on about a guy she had just met, how kind and sweet he was, how he really liked the short play she had written. How he couldn't stop complimenting her writing. How he was exited to watch her play later on today. You had already watched it multiple times at your local theater. You always went to support her, this would be no different. At this point you had zoned out from her monologue since all she was doing was fawning over said dude. You still caught small details here and there as she talked while you worked and dealt with customers. Boyish charm, rugged ensemble, electrifying green eyes, strong biceps was what you had learned about this oh so charming man. She was a writer through and through you laughed silently at her antics.

"Oh and you wouldn't believe what he did next", she screeches

"Let me guess he grabbed your hand, kissed it like a knight devoting himself to you, while confessing his undying love!", You joked

She gasped with theatrics "How did you know!?" "He did actually kiss my hand though, there will be plenty of time for him to confess his undying love later" she laughed. "I'm so full of inspiration I feel like I could write for days, who knew a compliment could get me so worked up", she giggled.

"Oh! Before I forget I wanted to show you a job offer I received to write another play, this could be my big break!! My plays could reach Broadway!", She explained excitedly.

You look at her skeptically considering her history with scams. But took a look at the contract anyway. While you read the contract you don't initially find anything suspicious until you get to ownership clause, and lo and behold in the terms and conditions in very fine print you find out once someone publishes their work the company claims to own that intellectual property as the writer has 'voluntarily' given over their rights to their own work by agreeing to work for them. And thereby are entitled to sell or distribute their work accordingly without consulting or needing to pay additional compensation towards the writers. You feel yourself seething from the audacity of this company.

You look at your sister with tired eyes "Please tell me you haven't signed anything yet", I plead

"Oh no I wouldn't have, especially since the last incident that happened", she looks down sheepishly.

"Oh thank god... this company just wants to steal your work, they don't actually want to help you so don't accept the offer", You let out a long breath while showing her the terms and conditions of the contract and telling her to read them next time. You look at her with pity, for someone so talented she was extremely naive when it came to things that required common sense, probably because she was always in her head but it was hard to stay upset with for the same reasons. You smile at her and let her know she did a good job telling you before deciding to do anything. Your sister smiles proudly at your compliment. You give her some advice about stalls that sell cheap manufactured products to pass them off as homemade. And to be careful talking to strangers before she goes around the festival while you continue working telling her you'll see her later on in the day.

You were hoping to enjoy the festival once you finish up with your stall but for the time being you happily engaging with customers and other artists that came for a chat. One of the products you offered was small paintings on thick ornate card roughly the size of a palm. They resembled the aesthetic of renaissance paintings. They were selling pretty well, by late afternoon you had sold majority of your products. Things weren't as busy around the stalls anymore since the theater performances had begun. You met some odd customers here and there and tried your best not to stare at their life like costumes. They were almost ethereal in the way they held themselves but you put on your best smile and treated them like anyone else. Their appearances often inspired you to paint more. But you didn't want to be rude and do it without their consent.

Time went on and things began to quieten. The jousting seemed to be going well, with the cheering as any indicator. You hoped to finish up soon. You wanted to explore a bit before the plays started. As your waiting around for customer you suddenly feel a dark pressure on your chest as if someone had placed a rock on your heart while you were tidying your display. You look up at your new customer and feel a shiver run down your spine. There was a dark looming presence about this.…this man? He wore a mask with a skull on it, which you supposed wasn't too uncommon especially with the way everyone was dressed here, but what you found odd was that you could feel fear seeping into your bones by just his appearance, you could almost see smoke or some sort of shadow emanating from him. You didn't even notice his partner until she spoke to you breaking the weird hold you had just felt. You grazed your woven rowan bark choker unconsciously, it had a small shield knot pendant on it. It brought you some peace as you subconsciously thank your best friend for gifting it to you years ago.

You put on your best smile while greeting them, you were back into your professional mode hoping not to offend them for staring. His girlfriend or wife was super kind and sweet, a really big contrast to the hulking figure behind her. She asked about the portrait paintings, you told her the price and rough time it would take to complete. The man didn't want to be in the painting so his partner who he affectionately called 'Love' was the one you painted. You were compelled to put extra effort to make it even better than your previous paintings for some reason, maybe out of guilt for judging them. You finish the painting, signing it on the back with your nickname and spray the sealant on it so it would last.

'Love' was overjoyed how it had turned out and eagerly handed it to their boyfriend, who stared at it for a while before turning and looking at another odd couple standing off to the side, he specifically stared at the very tall man with a full head and face covering which funnily enough looked like a t-shirt with eyeholes. You didn't quite understand what he meant to be, maybe an executioner? He had a menacing aura about him as well, something you definitely didn't want to deal with. Once he had caught his eye he proudly showed off the painting before sliding it into his chest pocket with a smirk you think with the way his mask moved upward slightly. You show your appreciation to them as they leave still terrified trying to control your trembling. They walk around while the other couple approached your stand. You really were low on your luck today. It seemed like the girlfriend wasn't all that interested in a self portrait but took her time browsing some of the jewellery pieces you had made. While her very large and very intimidating boyfriend whimpers at them so he could get a painting too, "But that beast got one Liebling, why can't I" "Don't you love me anymore?" He sulked. After a while she sighs and finally relents not wanting to deal with his whining for the rest of the festival.

You get to work immediately not wanting to stay in this awkward and nerve wracking situation. You put the same amount of effort into their painting as you had done to the previous one through a very compelling feeling. You chalk it up to guilt again for judging them. As you finish, you sign and seal the painting before handing it to them. This giant of a man is overjoyed when he receives the painting and you see him hold his darling close while staring at the painting. You watch them leave after paying, confused as to what you had just witnessed. But you decide to ignore it and continue working for another hour or so, before closing and packing up your stand with the little products you had left.

You look everywhere for sister but can't seem to find her even after numerous calls and text messages. An odd feeling of dread settles into your stomach. It almost felt as if you were being watched which put you on edge. You look around one last time hoping to catch a glimpse of her somewhere. Then suddenly you see her pink fairy hair at the edge of the crowd going towards the outdoor theater. You hurriedly make your way towards her incase she disappears again. Finally catching up you see a man clearly flirting with her. You roll your eyes thinking this is the likely reason why she hasn't checked her phone. You wave to get her attention and she looks and smiles at you while you make your way towards them not knowing what to expect from this guy.

"I've been trying to get a hold of you for so long" you pant slightly from your jog. "Where have you been?"

"Oh Soap here has been keeping me quite busy", she laughs playfully introducing him

The first thing you notice is his eyes… his overwhelming green/blue eyes, you felt like you'd drown in them if you didn't look away. Next came his perfect white smile, a little too perfect. With his boyish smirk to follow, you stare for a second too long earning you a toothy grin. Making you look away in embarrassment. You find yourself drawn to him in a weird inhumane way which unnerved you since you usually had great control over your emotions. You felt almost tied to him in a sense, like he was reeling in a fish with bait. But right now all you could think about was his lips devouring yours, stealing your breath away, then breathing life back into you when you'd clutched onto him desperately. His hands around your waist, holding you against a wall, his fingers touching…..You snap out of it quickly while holding the pendant on your choker. You feel guilt and shame enclosing around your heart making it hard to breathe but managed to calm down. While your sister continued her conversation, oblivious to your reaction to him. Your never had such a physical reaction to anyone before, paired with the feeling of being watched you were at your wits end today.

You introduce yourself as "Faoi Rún" or just "Rún" (pronounced as fae ruin or just ruin), before your sister can give him your government name when trying to introduce you. Knowing she has a tendency to forget you don't like your name given out.

"Oh? rún eh? That yer real name?" He asks intrigued

"Wouldn't you like to know" you say laughing tensely trying to avoid his beautiful eyes almost afraid he'll look too deep into your psyche. Afraid he'll figure out what was going on in your dirty mind.

"She's particular on strangers knowing her name, sorry, she might tell you if you get to know her better", she laughs playfully lightening the mood.

"Ye two don't look like sisters" he says "Did one o' ye get switched at the hospital by mistake? he joked

"We grew up in the same orphanage, we're sisters by choice not by blood", you state plainly indicating you didn't want to delve deeper into this topic.

"Come, both of you my play is about to start, I want you both there with me", your sister says trying to lighten the mood. In the short amount of time she knew him you couldn't understand how they had gotten so buddy buddy so quickly. This was extremely concerning for many reasons.

You weren't one to believe in the supernatural or faeries per say. But growing up with your witch best friend who lived near the orphanage you had certain habits instilled in you. With how often she'd visit you those habits just became second nature at some point. You were thankful for the knowledge you received on the unseen, though not always believing it.

People were tricky. You'd meet odd people here and there but you'd never think they weren't human per say though you were told otherwise. Maybe they were just odd or maybe you were desperate to deny their existence for your own sanity. Not wanting to complicate your life. Deciding to live in ignorant bliss. But the current situation had it becoming near impossible. Things you wanted to suppress were starting to bubble up. Especially since your encounter with this strangely charming but terrifying man.

Your sister had many friends in the orphanage when she first arrived. Who were closer to her age to play with so she didn't see the need to tag along when you went to see your best friend. Who lived nearby and had her grandmother's house just down the road to the orphanage.

You were often left to your own devices being among some of the older kids that weren't adopted. Even though you were only one or two years older, what made playing awkward with Daisy was how much you matured at a young age due to unreliable guardians. Where the orphanage caretakers lacked you would pick up the slack and care for the younger children especially your sister who relied on you more as her friends slowly started leaving. She felt hurt and alone thinking something was wrong with her for not being adopted like her friends. You often had to remind her she had you and you weren't planning on leaving her. Among the other unadopted children you two stuck together and took care of one another even after leaving and becoming adults. While the rest moved on and started new lives trying to forget their time in that orphanage.

You're snapped out of your thoughts as you arrive at a decent stop to sit on the grass as the performance begins playing. The whole time through the play you watched your sister swoon over this ethereal man in an extremely concerning manner even for her. She didn't really acknowledge you much, too busy hanging on to every sweet word this man had to say. There was something off about him you just couldn't place your finger on it. Every fiber in your being was telling you to grab your sister and run far far away. You didn't know what to do but you tried desperately to keep your composure, deciding to have a talk with her once he left. He caught you staring while you were deep in thought thinking about how you could warn her. He smirks almost knowingly as if he could read your mind and gives you a wink as he continues to flatter your sister who was weak to compliments.

The play ends and you stand up to applaud with everyone else then you ask to go grab something to eat with her alone but she quickly states that Soap wanted to treat her to dinner. You glare inwardly at his boldness. While he returns a smirk. You think about his odd name that you brushed past the first time you heard it, why did you ignore it the first time? You were usually very attentive to details and information.

You sigh knowing full well that you won't be able to dissuade her now he has his claws in her. So you relent for now thinking of an action plan to get rid of this leach even though you knew very little about him. He just gave you bad vibes and didn't quite understand it. Still trying to convince yourself he was just an odd human, someone you definitely didn't like. Someone who you should never get involved with. But you had to protect your sister. You just had too, something sinister was brewing. You could feel it and you needed help.

One month had passed since the incident, your sister had left with…with, what was his name again?.... Whatever it doesn't matter she had left with him to go to dinner while you tried enjoying the rest of the festival. But you couldn't calm your nerves for some reason and ended up leaving soon after. Just to make sure she was ok you sent her a text asking if she had gotten home safe later that evening. You were relieved when she responded by telling you all about the date they went on afterwards. Although you were happy for her there was a boulder in the pit of your stomach telling you to keep this man away from your dangerously naive sister. She's been a bit slow to respond since then for some reason causing you some anxiety, but try to rationalise and chalk it up to her being busy at work. Even though you would usually meet a couple times each month. She hasn't said anything else about that man….why can't you remember his name?....His features are difficult to recall now too…. You usually pride yourself about your retention of details. But it feels like a fog enters your brain when you try to think about him, how odd… But the one thing that hasn't left is your desire to protect your sister. Something isn't right with this situation. But considering she hasn't texted you fawning over him you might be paranoid for no reason. She probably decided she didn't like him all that much after all.

You put down your painting brush even before your alarm went off signaling you to take a break. It's been something you've been working on after your hospital incident. You weren't planning on working yourself into the ground. There needed to be a balance. Growing up an orphan you didn't have many people to care for you apart from your sister, your best friend and her grandmother that you visited often. So you would overwork yourself in academics and in your career to gain some sense of worth. Years of neglect had taken its toll on you, ending you up in the hospital in the intensive care unit for months. Only then did you realise the people you worked so hard for didn't give a flying fuck about you, you were so easily replaceable to them that they gave your projects to someone else who took credit for all your hard work. Not once did they come to see you, the only thing you received on your return was an office full of paperwork and a deadline to complete them by. You quit there and then only keeping in contact with the people who genuinely cared to visit you on your near death bed. Which were few and far between. From there after getting encouragement from your best friend and sister you decided to pursue your painting career again. And a bunch of others craft related hobbies.

It wasn't too hard considering you had a art college degree as well as having a couple years of work experience as a gallery curator. You had connections in the industry which you definitely used to further your career. Painting was your main focus from then on but you dabbled in other crafts including metalwork and pottery.

You found joy in the variety of work you could produce. This path in life felt more fulfilling and worthwhile in the long run. You enjoyed the spontaneity of your daily inspiration spikes. It kept things new and fresh to keep you engaged for longer periods of time without burning out or getting bored. You never forced yourself to work on something you didn't enjoy doing even if that meant stopping halfway because you know once you were up for it again the piece would be completed. So you had many unfinished projects just waiting patiently for you to come back to them, and eventually you will but you were never in a rush.

You stand up from your craft desk putting away your brushes and paints after cleaning them, glancing one last time at the large paintings you were commissioned to paint by the community council for the local library. Your back was stiff due to the prolonged sitting position you were in. You stretch on your way to the kitchen about to make yourself some herbal tea. You browse through your phone deciding to send your sister a text saying you'll be coming over to check in on her with dinner. She had a tendency to neglect herself when engrossed in work which you could relate to. You go to grab the jar with the tea only to realize it's empty. You let out a groan, jotting down on a piece of paper to visit your best friend with baked goods to buy more tea from her, not that she ever really lets you pay in cash so have to get creative. You stick it to the fridge while you go about preparing dinner and some snacks to bring her.

Everything was cooked and packed tightly you placed the food in your tote bag as you grabbed your phone, wallet and keys. Glancing one last time to see if you received a text back from your sister, which you hadn't. But that wasn't too unusual either. You had made her favourite dishes, hoping she would like them. You lock up as you leave, adjusting your Rowan tree branch hanging from the door of your condo.

Once you get to your sister's apartment you get buzzed in by the front desk since you visit so often. You knew the security guard and receptionists by name. They were very kind and sweet, just a bit odd at times but harmless.

"Evening Aodhán", you smile handing him a two wrapped homemade cookie,

"For your trouble, for looking out for my sister", you laugh jokingly "Ones for Ilayda"

Aodhán: "It's not raining Ilayda won't be working today", he says greeting you back

"Oh? I hadn't realised she only works on rainy days", you say confused

"Is Migina here? You can give it to her"

Aodhán: "Oh yeah she'll be here soon I'll let her know you left something nice to eat"

You say your farewells as you make your way up the stairs finding her apartment on the first floor. You knock and wait. Nothing happens, there's no noise from inside the apartment. You knock again harder this time checking your phone hoping you didn't just arrive when she wasn't home. You could always leave the food with Aobhán to give to your sister but that wasn't the problem, you had a nagging feeling you needed to get into her apartment right away. So you ring her number as you knock much harder this time probably disturbing her neighbors as you call out her name, not her real name of course. You use her childhood nickname 'Daisy'. Because she loved asking you for daisy crowns in summer.

Finally the door creaks but you aren't greeted by your sister, something with captivating ocean eyes has taken residence in her home. You look at him with your mouth agape confused as to why he's here.

"You!? Why are you here? Where is she!! What have you done to her!", panic sets in, your mind is racing with the worst possible scenarios. You push past him into the apartment frantically looking for her. Your arm is grabbed preventing you from going further in.

"Calm yer horses, ah haven't done anythin tae her lass", he says with an eerie calmness. "She's sleeping in her bed after writing all day. Ye should calm down, she needs her rest" he says in such a gentle voice it almost had you convinced he cared…. almost but you caught an insidious glint in his eyes for a quarter of second which sent your mind reeling.

You yank back your arms wondering what he's thinking. You don't bother responding to him as you eye him with skepticism. One glance around the place you can see she hasn't been taking care of herself. The apartment is messy, the dishes have piled up and papers are thrown everywhere. You go to look into the fridge and find it empty. You level this infuriating man with your worst glare. You place down your bag on the counter.

"Why are you here?" You say seething at him

"What dae ye mean? cannae ah come see mah lassie?", He says matter of factly. "Ah dinnae appreciate ye hissing at me. Ah haven't done anythin' tae ye…", It felt like he was about to say 'yet' but stopped himself. He looked at me like a fly who had come in to ruin his day by buzzing around his head.

"Since when? When did you two become so close? She hasn't said a word about you since the festival", You say trying to keep your voice calm and level not wanting to wake her up. Looking at him like he's some parasite, as you begin to tidy up the kitchen quietly.

"She's a grown lassie she doesn't need tae consult ye tae see someone, ye seem awfully nosy if ye ask me" he says losing his gentle voice completely to adopt a more rugged sound. Something that sits deep in his chest, causing your insides to churn for odd reasons. Your eyes meet his and for a second as you look back, you're very much frozen while the soapy dishes sit in your hands. You feel your blood run cold as his eyes flicker downwards towards your body. What was this man thinking!?

"Good thing I wasn't asking you then", you clap back trying to snap him out of whatever hedonistic thoughts he was having, praying you yourself wouldn't fall down that rabbit hole with how easily he could charm someone. But then again your sister was a bad example considering how gullible she could be. You continue to tidy up while deciding not to engage in a conversation with him anymore than necessary.

"How long has she been sleeping for?", you ask as you pick up her pages while setting them aside.

"Couldn't say, a while?" he shrugs nonchalantly leaning against the wall while watching you, no devouring your figure as it moves around cleaning.

You fix him to a glare not understanding why he was here, what purpose could he possibly serve doing nothing in your sister's apartment while it's in this sorry state, he didn't even offer to help you seethe.

You were more upset she kept it a secret that she was seeing him. Because if she had told you, you would have come over the same day to explain why that would be a very very bad idea. You just decide to ignore him for the rest of the cleaning which takes an hour before you decide to wake your sister up to get refreshed as you heat the food up for everyone.

Knocking on her bedroom door you enter to find her flopped onto her bed , sheets thrown around. You approach her gently as you call out her nickname to wake her up. Her face had dark circles and she looked exhausted, you've never seen her look so exhausted and overworked. After many attempts she finally wakes up groaning.

"Sis? What are you doing here?", she says rubbing her eyes

"I came to check in on you, you haven't been replying back to me properly I got worried and came here to drop off some food" you say kindly as she just nods saying she had gotten caught up in a new project and forgot to do much else apart from writing.

"Freshen up I'll get the food ready for us" ,you say before leaving the room to do just that. Not realising Soap was listening the whole time.

You set the table for three as Soap watches from the wall looking like a statue not saying anything too busy in his own thoughts, probably plotting something you think.

You reheat the food and refill the water jug, placing it on the table as your sister enters. Soaps demeanor changes drastically as she approaches. He goes towards her to show his concern for her wellbeing as she reassures him that she's okay, that she's just tired from overworking and that she's sorry she fell asleep while he was here to spend time with her. Where was this concern when the house needed cleaning? or when her fridge was empty? or when she hadn't probably eaten in days? You looked at him with venom which my sister noticed as she sat down beside me while soap stood by her side.

"It's not what it looks like", she whispers to you. "He was just here to help with my writing, I'll explain later". You just nod as you pour food for her and go to do the same for soap but he stops you.

"Oh ah wouldn't wantae intrude, ye twa enjoy yer meal", he says with sad voice kinda implying you had said something to upset him or make him feel unwelcome. Your sister looks at you for answers. While you just shake your head ignoring her look.

"It's not intruding at all, you've been such a great help to me for this past month, I couldn't even thank you enough even if I tried. Please sit down and have a meal with us. My sister is a wonderful cook. I'm sure she doesn't mind you joining, she even set you a place on the table" she says in her sweetest tone.

"Are ye sure, a'm feelin like I might owe ye later," he says sitting down beside her

"You don't owe me anything, this meal is given freely without strings attached", you say plainly trying to keep your hate at bay.

"Consider it a repayment for helping my sister for the past month", you quip while smiling innocently while you pour him the food. Your sister was too busy inhaling her meal to notice your comment. Which concerned you further, she looked starved.

You make small talk asking about what your sister has been doing that caused her apartment to be in the state you found it in. You reprimand her lightly telling her she needs to take care of herself better. Which she agreed to but said it was extremely difficult when she was in her 'writing zone' but promised to do better.

You tell her you'll go grocery shopping with her tomorrow since it was sunday and her kitchen was barren and she agreed. She complimented 'Soap' who's name you kept forgetting for some reason but tried desperately to remember it this time. She said he was a huge help since he worked as theater stage director at a point in his life and knew what looked good on stage and what didn't. He often came over to help her adjust her scenes or to just hang out which was why he was here today not for any other nefarious reasons she insisted. You simply nod along not saying much.

"My sister is just a little overprotective", she says smiling at him. "But she has my best intentions at heart" you smile slightly at her words while continuing to eat, not happy at this new friendship that was blooming between the two when you were certain he had ulterior motives.

"Hmm I can see that", he laughs while eating his food. He looked up at you as looked at him wondering if he was enjoying the food. You feel a blush creep up your neck as you look away quickly, your heart hammering as he chuckles at your odd bashfulness. You didn't understand why you were so drawn to him but you hated the fact you couldn't control your thoughts. Why did you care so much if he was enjoying your food or not!? You weren't usually like this…

"Ye weren't kidding when ye said she could cook", he complimented. "Ah haven't had such a crakin' meal in a while" he winks at you smiling which you ignore and say you appreciate it.

You tried many times to get to know Soap throughout the dinner but he gave vague answers that angered you further but you kept it within. He seemed to be enjoying your frustration. It almost seemed like he was trying to get a reaction out of you that wasn't complete hatred and mistrust. Your sister was oblivious to his antics which concerned you further. It seemed like she was in a daze and not her usual daydreaming daze. This felt different. But you couldn't explain how. You cleaned up the dishes after everyone was finished while thinking of a way to talk to your sister today or tomorrow about cutting off her new friendship. You had to do it in a way that wouldn't upset her since you knew she had trauma relating to losing friends. The last thing you wanted to do was upset her. You laid out the snacks for later if she wanted them and decided to put the rest of the food in the fridge. You start getting ready to leave since It was getting late and you'd be back tomorrow anyway to help with her groceries, you look at Soap to see if he was leaving too.

Maybe he felt your stare and decided to call it a day not wanting to face your wrath. He said his goodbyes and left before you did saying he greatly enjoyed the meal you provided. Your sister thanked him for all his help recently and apologized for falling asleep while talking to him. You tell your sister to take care of herself and to rest up and try to be more careful who she lets into her home so easily after Soap had left. She says she'll be more careful before giving you a tight hug as you make your way out of the apartment. You put a reminder on your phone to go grocery shopping tomorrow with your sister and to bake some desserts to bring to your best friend later that day. You write down a quick list of things you'll need as you walk down the stairs.

You say your farewells to Aobhán and Migina as you make your way out of the building towards your car in the moonlight parking lot. The air was chilly and there was an odd mist in the air. Wanting to get home as soon as possible you hasten your pace feeling the heat of your breath on your face. As you get to your car a cold ice hand grips you from behind pushing you against the car door. You feel a large body behind you as you begin to struggle but it wasn't producing any heat which was odd. But that was the least of your worries, you were pressed harder into the door until your movements stopped and you began to shout only for your mouth to be covered by a rugged hand. You felt disgusted by the man grinding his body on yours

You continue to put 110% of your energy into fighting off this attacker while trying to stay calm and collected. You put your keys between your knuckles and try to stab them backwards hoping to hit something which you do. He lets out a grunt beside your ear as he steps back slightly to gain his ground again. In that little time to turn around with your keys ready to attack again, your heart hammering thinking you might die here. The attacker grips his side where you had hurt him still growling as he knocks the keys out of your hands as he pins himself against you again. You finally get a glimpse at his moon lit face.

It was no one you recognised, his face was hard to describe as it seemed like it didn't have a consistent state. Every time you look away briefly while fighting him off if face slightly changed or maybe your mind was playing tricks on you in the dark. The face started contorting into a vile form the longer you stared, resembling a beast more than a man. It had large bulging eyes, thin hair balding on its head and warts forming on its face. You managed to throw him to the ground in blind rage as he tried to grab you more intimately. It almost felt you were drawing strength from somewhere other than yourself. You felt utterly disgusted, you kicked him hard in the groin for good measure. While backing up to call the police with your taser out now. But before you could do anything else, another figure stepped from the shadows and stepped on the man's neck as he struggled on the ground to breathe.

You look up to see smoke coming out of Soap's mouth as he flicks his cigarette at the man on the ground without saying anything. You were too shocked to move or do anything as you saw the pure unfiltered rage emanating from his body. His eyes once a beautiful ocean blue were almost black in comparison now. You see him step harder on the man's neck while saying something in a language you didn't understand, it sounded ancient. Like a forgotten battle song sung by your ancestors in times of turmoil. You watched in horror as you heard a snap and pop as the man's body goes limp on the ground before disintegrating before your very eyes. Everything you tried suppressing about the unseen, everything you tried so desperately to deny was crumbling.

You watch Soap approach you and your mind tells you to run, to get away. You might me next! But you couldn't move your legs, all you could do was clutch your heart for dear life. You close your eyes and wait…. The first thing you feel is his breath on your face, warm and bitter due to the tobacco. Next his rough hand on your chin tilting your head back gently.

"Look at me lass", he growls. You whimper and shake your head afraid of what you'll see.

"Come now, ah just wantae make sure yer alright", he changes tactics acting sweet but you could still feel his anger radiating off him.

You open your eyes slowly not wanting him to direct his rage toward you. His blue ones meet your teary ones and you see him smile.

"Ah there she is", he massages the side of your neck trying to comfort you, while you tremble under his touch.

"He didnae hurt ye noo did he? ", You shake your head at his question still afraid of what he was about to do.

"Good…good, ah wasn't expecting someone tae get tae ye first", his words cause your blood to run cold.

"Althoogh all ah was thinking about doin' was havin a word with ye", he smirked at your discomfort

"Ye see ah dinnae appreciate ye interfering with me prey especially one that was sae easy tae catch. Usually isolating thaim is fairly simple bit fur some reason ah cannae git ye tae comply. Ah might fin' ye a wee bit interesting but that doesn't mean ah will let ye ruin mah hard wirk"

You look at him shocked. You didn't expect him to just come out right and say he was planning to do something horrible to your sister. Suddenly all your fear dissipated and anger takes its place. You push him away roughly, while looking at him venomously before you speak.

"You stay away from my sister, or else" you hiss

"Or else what?", he laughs "What can a wee lassie like ye dae?"

"You don't want to see what lengths I would go to, to protect my family. I'll make you regret ever coming into my sister's life", you say with conviction.

"Let's see about that. Ah wonder if ye'll be able tae dae much when ye cannae remember anythin' ", before you could react you felt a tap to your forehead as everything faded into black.

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pleaseeeimjustagirl · 4 months

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You’re Postponing Your Dream Life

Self-sabotage behavior is the reality that a lot of us live with and it's postponing our dream lives. This post is going to be personal because I’m not just posting this for you girlies but for myself as well<3.

What is self-sabotage?

Self-sabotage is behavioral patterns and thoughts that you engage in most of the time without even realizing it. This makes it harder for you to achieve your goals. Sometimes we see this as our brain fighting against us but our brain is trying to protect us. All of these protective mechanisms (self-sabotaging behavior) were created by your brain to keep you safe from any harm. What is familiar to us our brain sees as safe and what isn’t is seen as harmful. And when you decide you’re going to change your life by starting that business, becoming an influencer, losing weight, or whatever it is your brain goes into protective mode.

What causes self-sabotaging?

♡ Childhood trauma. In your childhood trusting relationships with your caregivers/parents were broken. You might have dealt with abuse, them talking down on you, or other traumatic events. Causing you to have trust issues, low confidence, and more.

♡ Fears. You don’t believe you can make it and you’re scared of the things that you’re going to have to give up. You’re scared of people laughing at you. Or you have a fear of failure.

♡ Negative self-talk. You don’t speak to yourself kindly and are always looking down on yourself causing you to have a lack of self-esteem.

There are so many different things that could cause you to have self-sabotaging behavior. Ask yourself questions to get to the root of the issue.

Signs you’re self-sabotaging

♡ Procrastination. You know what you have to but you keep putting off the task and saying you’ll get to it and you never do.

♡ Perfectionism. I struggle with this one a lot. You think everything has to be perfect for it to be worthwhile and if it isn’t you become frustrated and there is no point in finishing the task.

♡ Comparison. You always compare yourself to the next person and how they are successful and you are not or how they can make it and you can’t.

♡ Imposter syndrome. You don’t feel that you’re good enough to attain your dream life even though you do.

♡ Controlling. You always need to be in control of everything around you and the dream life you are chasing involves you giving up control and having to accept the unknown.

♡ Negative. You have a negative way of thinking and a scarcity mindset i’ll link my blog post on scarcity mindset read it if you deal with this.

How to overcome self-sabotage

♡ Reframe your mindset. Once you stop seeing self-sabotage as your brain fighting against you and start viewing it as trying to protect you. Then you will be able to be more compassionate and ask yourself what is going on and why you are afraid. What I do I will have a whole conversation with myself out loud asking myself what is wrong, and why I feel this way.

♡ Keeping a journal. Observe your patterns and write down all the things that keep happening and the emotions you feel. If you find yourself in the same situation ask yourself why. For example, if you are trying to lose weight but whenever you’re stressed you binge then you know high-stress situations cause you to want to binge eat now you start to find another outlet to release your emotions.

♡ Positive self-talk. Speak to yourself the way you would speak to the child version of you. Pour into that little person the way you wished others would have. Read/listen to affirmations. Focus on the things you can change and less on what you can't. Start to speak positively. In the beginning, it won’t feel real but the more you say it the more you will feel it.

♡ Start small. Don’t just jump right into everything take everything a step at a time. We can overwhelm ourselves when we do that and whatever we are doing will start to feel like a bother/chore.

♡ Be realistic. Set realistic goals based on where you’re at right now in life. Aiming to high can create a feeling of failure and self-doubt. Set achievable goals and break them down explaining the steps you need to take to get there.

Book recommendations

♡ The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest I 100% recommend reading this book the author goes deeper into self-sabotaging behavior and how to overcome it. I have this book and I have been reading it and she has awoken me to a lot of my issues I didn’t know I had like my perfectionist issues. She has so many other good books that she has written!

If you have any tips please share in the comments and I am open to any request or question love you girliesss<3

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zadig-fate · 5 months

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There was a lot of stress and emotion in the Prague queue this morning, but the important thing, which I think needs to be emphasized, is that EVERYONE, EVERY SINGLE PERSON who queued at the venue before 9am (the venue's pre-announced distribution time) received a wristband today.

People who queued the night before got a wristband. People who queued at 8:59am also got a wristband. Literally, I did not give out the number 150 until about 8:55am, and the venue even gave out extra wristbands to the remaining people in line (about 8 extra people).

We don't know how many tickets were actually issued since the show was not sold out, but this is a 2000+ capacity venue, and everyone who queued by 9 has a guaranteed spot among the first 150 with early entrance privileges.

Please use this information to put the queue panic on social media into perspective. There is no need to keep pushing arrival times further and further back to get a "good spot". In a 2000+ capacity venue, the number 150 is a very good spot.

I know a lot of people are obsessed with getting the barricade, but your gig is not "ruined" if you get the second (or god forbid third) row instead. It's not "ruined" if you end up halfway or even all the way at the back. I've been at the barricade and I've also been in the second row, third row, seventh row, 15th+ row, and near the back. Is it nice to be at the barricade? Of course. Have I ever left a show feeling like it was "ruined" because I was further back? No.

I dealt with multiple grown adults today literally screaming and/or crying because the queue numbers were messed up (due to one group arriving before midnight then leaving at the band's request, and a second group then arriving at the empty venue in the morning, each with its own set of queue numbers) and a compromise solution meant that they might end up in the second or third row.

This is a concert that lasts an hour and a half. There is no reason to be screaming, crying, and cussing people out because you might end up one row further back, especially if you have already been to multiple JO concerts. The guys are planning a spring tour and summer festivals; this is not your last chance to see them before they disappear forever. Take a deep breath for the final step and accept that it's not realistic to expect the barricade at every or even most shows. It's okay to be number 50 or number 150 or number 500.

And for the love of god, PLEASE do not queue the day BEFORE the gig. This just makes the experience more miserable for everyone, including yourself, and makes people think they need to arrive even earlier for future shows. Do not do this.

#Joker Out #Prague #also Bojan needs to STFU about queues #his ig stories made the situation 100x worse

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theteasetwrites · 8 months

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The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon | S1E1 Thoughts

Okay I am gonna list all my positive and negative thoughts regarding each episode (I know no one asked but I feel like this is the only thing I am somewhat “qualified” to talk about ad nauseam on here).

⚠️ SPOILERS AHEAD ⚠️ do not read below the cut unless you’re okay with spoilers

Positive Thoughts

Norman’s acting is so good like?? Listen we all know he’s not Laurence Olivier and he doesn’t claim to be but goddamnit he nails the subtleties of Daryl’s expressions and conveys his emotions really well I think! I’m very impressed

Daryl hot

Obviously the cinematography, setting, and aesthetics are really cool. It’s both gritty but pretty!! I love the gothic architecture and how OLD everything looks, which is only exacerbated by the apocalyptic feel

Everyone in the cast is so good in terms of acting (well, I mean… Laurent is certainly there but he’s a child so we’ll be lenient)

Daryl hot

The walkers are great as usual. I love the burners. Really interesting! I’m kind of wondering if the “experiments” the people on the ship refer to relate to the burners? Maybe they’re making them like that idk.

I love the religious imagery. We have had cults and stuff in TWDU before but I don’t think we’ve had this Catholic vibe going on. I’m a sucker for anything nun related because I have a weird infatuation with them, so I’m all for it.

DARYL BATHTUB SCENE??? They put that in for the girls and the gays and we are LIVING for it

Daryl hot

Daryl is so reminiscent of early seasons TWD era with his witty lines and snark remarks. I feel like we don’t get to see this side of Daryl very often anymore, but now that he has his own show and is THE main character, we get to see those sides that have been neglected again. I also love how much he sort of scoffs at the nuns and their religion. Atheist Daryl we love to see it

It’s cool seeing people in France dealing with the same things our characters have dealt with since the beginning. It’s interesting to see these new parts of the world in this universe for sure

Daryl hot

I honestly just love thinking about how when Daryl gets home he is gonna have such a crazy ass story to tell everyone! It’s gonna be so cute to see him telling all the kids about how heroic he is and ugh yessss

Daryl deserves his own show. He deserves to be THE main character. People who said he can’t lead a show? Nah. Reconsider

I also love that Daryl MIGHT potentially save the world. Cool asf. And if anyone from the original series should save the world, I think it’s him.

Daryl hot

Negative Thoughts:

Okay. I have some very petty/subjective critiques. I realize a lot of you guys probably disagree with me but that’s okay! Don’t read my negative thoughts if you aren’t prepared to be annoyed with me lol. Once again, a lot of these are super petty/nitpicky

First thing that bothers me is that Daryl says he is from the Commonwealth. No. He is from Alexandria, thank you very much. Well, at least he should be. He should’ve been living at Alexandria imo but the finale didn’t really make it explicitly clear where he was living in that year time jump. Basically I just hate the Commonwealth because I have zero attachment to it and it’s just a stupid ass place that I wanna forget about

Daryl seeing Carol in his haze 🙄 … just annoys me solely because Carol annoys me. They could’ve just shown Judith because that would’ve made more sense to me. But don’t get me started, I don’t even want Carol in season 2. Anyway.

Laurent isn’t terrible but he’s kind of annoying in that “I’m so smart I know everything” way. Just very annoying smart kid at school who everyone hated vibes. Plus I just don’t think it’s realistic that he would be THAT smart just from being raised in a convent of nuns

I also fail to understand what they’re doing with Laurent. Is he just some kid that the nuns think is the messiah or is he ACTUALLY the messiah? Like are they gonna throw in a whole other supernatural religious element? Because Laurent conveniently knows Judith’s line from the finale “you deserve a happy ending too.” Right down to the letter. I find it cheesy as hell because I’m so tired of these blatant in your face parallels that are trying to be clever, which always involve children too like we get it children are basically the duck tape of TWDU. Don’t know what to do for this plot? Throw some kids in there!

Neither Positive nor Negative Thoughts:

I don’t trust the nuns. I think they’re gonna use Daryl to get what they want and they don’t really care about getting him home. Worse, I think it could be possible that Isabelle won’t let him get home. She already tried to keep him from using the radio. I’m not saying I hate her character or anything (I actually like her so far… as long as she stays friendly and not… overly friendly), I just think she’s way too invested in this “messiah” stuff to actually care about Daryl so I fear she will take advantage of him. We shall see.

Ok, those are pretty much all of my thoughts!

#twd: daryl dixon #the walking dead: daryl dixon #the walking dead

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sarahs-secrets2 · 1 year

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It's All Temporary (Phillip Graves x Reader) ࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

Request for anon (thank you so much lovely!), i just finished YOU s4, and this song was in one of the scenes and it felt very fitting. Longest fic I've ever done!!!

based on Bells in Sante Fe by Halsey

fem! (no use of Y/N)

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: reader is kidnapped (no harm comes to reader), pre-established relationship, swearing, mentions of a gun (not fired), mentions of being tied up, not realistic in any sense, pet names

₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗

The sun shone through the kitchen as you busied yourself getting dinner ready before Phillip came home from his deployment. He was sent down to Las Almas with the Shadow Company about a month ago and that was all he was able to tell you, everything else was confidential. You preferred it that way, if you knew the details of what he did you just knew you would be even more worried than you were normally every time he shipped out.

The two of you had been dating for almost 3 years so you had dealt with your fair share of long deployments. Something about this one though made you miss him more than usual, maybe it was the fact that he was taking more missions or that even when he was home he was still working. You couldn't blame him of course, but sometimes you missed having him all to yourself.

The oven timer beeped as you quickly wiped your hands on the apron before tugging on the handle letting the smell flood through the kitchen. Your hands slipped into the oven mitts as you pulled out the hot glass dish, it clinked against the granite as you set it down. Setting the oven mitts down and closing the oven you went over the list in your head to make sure you didn't forget anything for when your boyfriend came home. Usually, you would offer to pick him up, but since he was the CEO of the Shadow Company there was a bit more of a security measure to make sure their Commander got home safely.

As you were about to start cleaning up, the doorbell rang. You thought it was early for Phil to be getting back but maybe he wanted to surprise you? Quickly you untied the apron from your waist, tossing it gently onto the counter before rushing to get the door.

“Phillip,” you let out an excited squeal as you swung the door open.

✩｡:*•.───── ❁ ❁ ─────.•*:｡✩

“Good work Commander, enjoy some time off,” one of the Shadows patted his back as they departed from the plane.

“You too boys,” Graves tossed a wave to the group as he slung his duffle over his shoulder before making his way through the airport, he knew you were waiting at home for him, and knowing you there was probably food waiting for him as well. The glass doors opened as he exited the airport where the black escalade awaited him. The perks of being CEO of a private military company included a cushy ride home, along with maximum security 24/7.

“Welcome back Commander Graves,” the man opened the door to the car, taking the bags as Phillip slid into the back seat. Adjusting in the seat, Phillip grabbed his phone out of his back pocket as he shot you a text to let you know he was headed back.

Just got in the car, should be home within the hour see you soon doll

The car lurched forward as he continued to catch up on his missed notifications from the flight as he headed home to see you.

✩｡:*•.───── ❁ ❁ ─────.•*:｡✩

The driver stepped out of the car, opening the door for Graves to jump out.

“Thank you, see you in a month,” Phillip laughed as he patted the man on the back and slipped him a fifty.

“You’ve always been my favorite, Commander Graves,”

“C’mon Joe, call me Phil please,”

The driver laughed as he popped the trunk and handed Phillip his bags, “Have a good night Phil, and tell your missus I said hello,”

“Will do,” Graves waved as he walked up to the front door. As he went to ring the doorbell he noticed something was different, the door was cracked open. His brow furrowed as he set down the duffle, digging through it to find his pistol. Phillip used the gun to tip the door the rest of the way open, his military instincts coming through as he moved throughout the house checking each room as he went through.

“Hello? Anyone there?”, his voice echoed through the empty house. He finally found his way to the kitchen, the food you had made sat on the counter completely untouched. Graves holstered his gun as he rubbed his forehead trying to piece what was happening together.

“God dammit,” he mumbled under his breath as he walked around the kitchen island. A crackling sound under his shoe caused him to step back, looking down he saw broken glass scattering the floor. “What the hell happened here,” he quickly whipped out his phone trying your number.

Ringing, voicemail, hang up, try again.

Ringing, voicemail, hang up, try again

He tried it over a hundred times, but no answer every time. Finally admitting defeat, Graves picked up the phone again this time dialing 911.

“911 what is your emergency?”

“My-my girlfriend,” he paced the kitchen, “She’s not home, she should be home, I think someone took her,”

“Okay sir, I’m locating you now okay, I-”

“The door was open when I got home, I’m military, the door shouldn't have been open,” despite being shocked Phillip Graves understood the gravity of the situation and he was able to put aside the emotions that bubbled up inside him to do whatever he needed to do to get you home safe. “There’s broken glass all over the floor, and I haven't been able to get in contact with her, I tried her phone and she didn't answer, it's not like her,”

“Take a breath for me sir, unis are on their way okay? They’ll be there in no less than 5 minutes,”

“Yeah,” Phillip breathed out, “Okay yeah, thank you, ma’am,” he hung up as he sat down at the kitchen table.

Before he could even process the phone call he just had, the knock on the door pulled him away from his thoughts. He jogged over to the door where 2 men stood in front of him.

“Mind if we come in?” Phillip stepped aside motioning for them to enter, “Your girlfriend missing right?”

“Yeah I just got home from deployment, was out in Las Almas, and the door was open when I came home and there’s broken glass all over the kitchen,”

“Do you think she just dropped a glass, cut herself, and ran off to the hospital?” the shorter of the 2 men spoke up.

“No,” Phillip glared at him, “She would've called me, her car is still in the garage and I called her phone a million times, no answer,”

“You packing?” the officer pointed to the gun on Graves’ hip.

“Sir, I’m Commander of the Shadow Company, of course I’m packin',”

“Shadow Company…” the shorter one spoke up again, “Don’t think I’ve heard of ‘em,”

“Then seems like we’re doin’ our job right, how about you boys do yours hmm?”

“Alright we hear you, let’s head down to the station to get some more information and we’ll get some guys in here to sweep the area and get some evidence, sound good?” Phillip nodded as he and the officers headed out the front door.

✩｡:*•.───── ❁ ❁ ─────.•*:｡✩

Your wrists were sore from the scratchy rope tied tightly against them and your head was pounding but you weren't sure from what. Looking around the room there were no identifying factors to tell you where you were. It was dark, and the metal chair beneath you was cold against your legs. It seemed to be an old warehouse, with empty boxes and machinery scattering the open floor, you were placed precisely in the middle. Attempting to adjust in the chair you became aware your ankles were tied too. Your head spun trying to remember what had happened and why you were here, did Phillip know?

✩｡:*•.───── ❁ ❁ ─────.•*:｡✩

“Right through here,” the officers led Phillip to an interrogation room.

“The hell am I doin’ in here?”

“It’s just procedure, so we can figure out what happened,”

“I already told you a million times I came home the door was unlocked and there was glass all over the floor, then I called you guys,”

“We just want to make sure we have all the details, Commander,”

“She’s out there and you guys aren’t doing shit to find her,” Graves was becoming more agitated with every question they asked, and that he had already answered.

“Sir, I can promise you we got our best guys out there working on this right now, we just-”

Phillip stood up from the chair as his fist slammed on the table, “Find her dammit,” he ran a hand through his hair as he paced around the concrete room. The detectives looked at each other trying to find a way to calm down the man in front of them. “This is a high-level issue you know, I shouldn't be at some county precinct for this shit,” Phillip huffed out as he was getting more frustrated with the lack of urgency from the men sitting at the shiny metal table across from him, “I’m the CEO of the goddamn Shadow Company, I could find her myself at this point,”

“That won’t be necessary sir, it's best to let us handle this since it is our jurisdiction, we just need you to calm down and tell us what you know,”

“What I know? What I know?” Graves repeated back, “You think I’m involved with this? Quit pussying around and find her,” he threw himself down in the cold metal chair, resting his head in his hands praying you were alright, “Told you everything I fuckin’ know,” he mumbled.

✩｡:*•.───── ❁ ❁ ─────.•*:｡✩

Phillip finally was able to elevate this to get out of the “county precinct,” and was using his cushy Commander perks to track you down. With some help from his connections, he was able to get permission to work alongside police in finding you and whoever had you.

“Check the security system first, it should've been running,” Graves shouted orders around working desperately to find you.

His phone buzzed, quickly pulling it out to read his text from the unknown number

Wire $50,000 to the account in the following text, do it and she won’t get hurt.

“Got something, c’mere take a look,” Phillip placed his phone on the center table so everyone was able to get a look at it.

“Are you going to do it?” one of the assisting officers spoke up.

“I don’t know… fuck,” he rubbed a hand over his face, “Give me a second,” he grabbed his phone off the table.

I need proof of life and the location of where she is before I send anything

He sighed as he waited for the response.

Attachment: 1 image.

You’ll get the location after we get the funds, Commander

His eyes scanned the photo, his heart dropped seeing you in that position, he couldn't even imagine and just looking at it made him sick. Graves took a minute to think as he came up with a plan.

“Okay, here’s what we’re doing. I need a bank account set up with $50,000,”

“You’re actually going through with this?” a voice broke through the room, heads turned to see who actually spoke up.

“Who said that?” Phillip’s head swiveled, “Come up here,” the man who spoke up shuffled through the crowd to stand in front of the Commander.

“Sir,”

“If you’d let me finish… what’s your name?”

“Officer Jones sir,”

“If you’d let me finish Officer Jones maybe what I’m saying would make more sense,”

“Apologies Commander,” the officer scurried back, allowing Phillip to continue on.

“Like I was saying, set up the account with $50,000 and then send the money, Once it’s sent, I’ll get the address from whoever the hell is on the other side of this,” he paced the room as he went on, “From there I’ll be able to track where the money was sent, y’all got that technology right?” a few heads nodded, “Good, good,” Phillip mumbled to himself, “Once I get the info on where they are we’ll have 2 groups, one going to the pieces of shit location and the other are coming with me to find her,” he paused, “Am I understood?”

A slew of “yes sirs,” flooded the room as everyone got to work

✩｡:*•.───── ❁ ❁ ─────.•*:｡✩

You couldn't gauge how long you had been in the damp warehouse, it could've been days for all you know. The whole time you were hoping Phillip was on his way. You hadn't seen anyone since you had woken up, it was hard to determine if that was a good or bad thing.

A doorknob jiggled, followed by the sound of a door swinging open, your head shot up looking to see who was coming through. It was none other than Phillip Graves, he was in his casual clothes but had a bulletproof vest on as he walked into the room, his pistol drawn as he surveyed the area.

“Clear,” he chirped to the men behind him, he looked forward making eye contact with you, “Holy shit,” he ran towards you and immediately untied your wrist and ankles, freeing you from the chair. You dropped to your knees and Phillip kneeled down next to you as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to him. “Thought I lost you,” he mumbled into your hair as he held you tightly. You weren't able to muster words as tears of relief flowed out. “It’s okay doll, I’m here, I got you,”

“Commander,” a voice near the door caused both of you to turn your heads, “ Just got an update from the other team, they got them but we should probably head out of here just in case,”

“Good work,” he nodded, “But you’re right, let’s get out of here, quickly,” Phillip hoisted himself up, then offered a hand to you, assisting you up, “Can you walk, are you okay?”

“I’m okay Phil,” you took a breath as you stood up, “Just a little shaky,”

“Let me help you darlin’ please,” he placed his arm out for you to wrap your hands around to help you walk. You looked up at him with thankful eyes, you didn't need to speak for him to understand what you meant.

✩｡:*•.───── ❁ ❁ ─────.•*:｡✩

Phillip hoisted you into the black escalade, lightly closing the door behind you. He walked around the car before swinging open the other door and sliding in next to you.

“What happened to me?” your hand reached out to his hand that rested on the leather seats.

“Doesn't matter right now, just glad you’re here safe with me,” he smiled as he squeezed your hand in return. “C’mere, lay your head down I’m sure you’re exhausted,” he patted his lap singling for you to rest your head. You wanted to protest, it had been so long since you had seen Phillip and this had only made it worse, you wanted to soak up his presence and just talk to him. The exhaustion had consumed you making your eyelids feel like they weighed 20 pounds. You nodded and smiled as you laid your head down on Phillip’s lap, drifting to sleep as he brushed through your hair on the way home.

“You saved me, Phil,” you mumbled half asleep

“I’m just glad I got my girl back,” he bent down, placing a small kiss on your head, “I’ll wake you up when we get back, okay? Close your eyes, you’re safe now,”

“Mmhm, I love you Phillip thank you,”

“I love you too doll,”

₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗

thank you again to this anon, I loved writing this so so much!!

#phillip graves cod #phillip graves #philip graves x reader #phillip graves x reader #philip graves #phillip graves imagine #phillip graves x you #graves x reader #cod graves #graves mw2 #warren kole #cod mw2 #cod modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare ii #Spotify

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asherisawkward · 8 months

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Do you think the crew messed up on the show and some fans are way to eager to blame Disney for any fault on the show while true I felt some people praise Dana Terrace too much yes, she brought LGBT characters into a Disney show and roasted Disney in the process but I felt she and her crew needed better time management and writing skills even being cut.

I believe that there is a lot more blame put on the cutting of the show than it actually affected. They’d known that the show would be cut in Season 2, but the writing issues start long before that. I’d argue that the go all the way back to the first episode, when Luz brings fireworks and live, venomous snakes to school. Not to mention causing the severe spider infestations and improvising in the middle of a play (huge no-no for actors).

The Owl House had a lot of potential, and that’s one of the reasons I got into it in the first place. The set up for the story was interesting, and there was a clearly flawed protagonist who had a lot to learn. They even dealt away with the idea of a “Chosen One” in episode 2 (or so we all thought). But, in the end, it made promises it couldn’t keep.

Character development was rushed for the sake of gratification as opposed to realistic changes and growth, consequences were overlooked for actions even if the harm done was incredibly serious (Lilith), the world building is….minimal and left a lot to be desired, there’s the whole issue with the way villains are treated, there isn’t a consistent them, and more.

This started long before the Owl House cut, and it’s wrong to just blame solely those responsible for the cut. The writers had their flaws and mistakes as well.

I admire Dana for trying to bring representation to groups of people who historically haven’t gotten a lot, or not a lot of positive representation, but the flaws seem incredibly clear to me. That won’t stop me from loving this show and what it’s done for me, but I don’t want to be blind to its flaws.

#The Owl House #TOH #analysis #Luz Noceda #Unintentionally Unsympathetic #TOH critical #TOH criticism #Dana Terrace #The writers had a part in the flaws as well #Ask

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thesherrinfordfacility · 2 months

Text

six months on (albeit, a bit late) part 2/3

part one | part two | epilogue (at some point)

okay right this is significantly more important (and more interesting frankly) than doing the job that im actually paid to do, so let's pick up where we left off in part one. main conclusions that ive come to so far, as a recap:

aziraphale feels threatened by the conversation with the metatron and feels he has little choice but to go to heaven. also, possibly feels aware that the metatron might be able to see/hear their conversation, and so has to be careful in his own proposal that does not alert crowley to there being something wrong, and does not alert metatron to his suspicion of him

wants to bring crowley with him because... yk, love. and he thinks that the restoration might be something that crowley has always wanted anyway, so he has to offer it without clueing crowley in on the possibility that aziraphale is under some kind of duress

aziraphale was initially very resistant to going, but only gave in when a) metatron brought up crowley in the first place (implied threat aforementioned), b) crowley could be restored (which he thinks crowley might want anyway but never entertained could happen), and c) it would give aziraphale an opportunity to not only change heaven as it currently is, but also recognises him - in all his perceived imperfection as an angel - to be the "right man for the job"

crowley understandably refuses, and launches into his confession/proposal. both of them want the same end result - being together - but the journey there is the contested part. aziraphale tries to persuade crowley into coming with him by subtly changing his language and mannerisms, almost like he's leaking out hints as to why it is so important that they remain together

the only true miscommunication they have - that aptly heralds the beginning of the end - is "nothing lasts forever". everything else, arguably (aside from aziraphale's attempt to keep things under wraps) is fairly well communicated, but they simply. disagree

i will hastily add, as i said in part one, that this is still only my interpretation of the whole sequence; there have been so many amazing observations that have made my opinion/interpretation of the final fifteen flit from one stance to another, and these two posts are purely me rewatching it all, paying closer attention, and working out what the hell (ha) i think is going on.

so, we left off at "good luck".

aziraphale definitely appears taken aback that crowley has not, in fact, understood what he meant throughout the whole conversation, and most of all appears to have completely shut down with "nothing lasts forever". where aziraphale thinks that crowley putting his glasses back on means that they're about to leave together, hand in hand, and face whatever has been dealt to them... it's actually crowley drawing the line in the sand, and sticking (rightly so) to his set boundary that he will not return to heaven as an angel - regardless of the optimistic assumption of what that would precisely entail (ie. this is assuming that restoration is even possible, let alone that crowley would be able to be restored and simultaneously keep his memories/his "him" in the process... arguably, these two options are likely the more realistic).

aziraphale is now, more desperately and in plainer language, resorting to begging crowley to see why this is the best choice they can make to remain together. but this is also where i feel like aziraphale's double-speak language that he exhibited with "...i can make a difference"/"we can make a difference", and the metatron jibe, is growing more frantic and - as a result - more obvious.

to me, he's clearly trying to impress upon crowley that he is not rejecting him, that he wants crowley with him desperately... but is equally having to keep his expression of this as... strategic as possible. it's almost like he's flitting between talking to crowley in as heartfelt and candid a manner as he can, and then squeaking in the caveats that are for the benefit of this assumed pretence he's playing - i guess what im trying to say is that aziraphale can't very well turn around and say, 'crowley i am not rejecting you, i want to be with you, but i cannot get out of this situation im being placed in, and i cannot leave you here on your own because i have no idea - and am scared of - what will happen.' the way he says "work with me!"; 'its going to be me and you against them, still. that's all it was ever going to be; i am not theirs, i am yours, but i have to play this game' - which incidentally, to any outside ears, would arguably just sound like aziraphale asking for crowley to... well, work with him. "we can be together!" is said with all due emphasis and cry, and aziraphale neatly tacks on, "angels, doing good!", because they would do good - good as they see it - and crowley would have to be an angel in order to do so, yes, but ultimately aziraphale wants him... and yet still remains plausible to anyone who could be listening.

i do still think - for the record - that there is a part of aziraphale that thinks that this is absolutely the right thing to do. crowley has put other options to him that, in contrast, solve nothing as far as aziraphale is concerned, and this sense of threat from the metatron only forces into sharp relief that whatever happens, wherever they go, they are not free of anything and never will be until something changes. this line of thinking has not always been how aziraphale has thought historically - but it's who he is now. if we accept that all of the hard, agonising decisions and choices that aziraphale has had to make, all of the times where he has battled with what is the right thing to do (arguably - exactly as crowley has taught him), has led to this moment, then aziraphale standing steadfast to his decision is absolutely in line with the character development we've been shown throughout both seasons.

that is just my interpretation given the events that come before this bit of the dialogue; whichever way you look at it though, aziraphale is evidently panicked and erratic that this might actually be it - that he and crowley are done. the really interesting bit for me, however, lies in his movements, his body language, and his expressions? they feel more in line with how aziraphale normally acts. to me, all of this is genuine, it's not put on, nor faked; where before he was trying to hide his fear under the guise of excitement, it now feels like this is actually aziraphale speaking, and not some uncanny facsimile who is trying to clutch every fraying string and keep it all together. also worth noting that during this part of the interaction that not once, as far as we see it, does aziraphale look out of the window.

whichever way you look at it though, aziraphale is evidently panicked and erratic that this might actually be it - that he and crowley are done. the really interesting bit for me lies in his movements, his body language, and his expressions? they feel more in line with how aziraphale normally acts. to me, all of this is genuine, it's not put on, nor faked; where before he was trying to hide his fear under the guise of excitement, it now feels like this is actually aziraphale speaking, and not some uncanny facsimile who is trying to clutch every fraying string and keep it all together. also worth noting that during this part of the interaction that not once, as far as we see it, does aziraphale look out of the window.

crowley though? crowley has clocked out. noone could blame him at all, especially after the sucker punch of the previous half of the sequence, because whilst i think he's hearing aziraphale say these things spoken with sincerety, probably even recognises them to be genuine, he's possibly also hearing the unspoken, perceived caveat that comes along with them. "we can be together... but you have to change." "we can be together... but i'll never love you, as you are, as much as you want me to."

he's hearing what aziraphale is saying, and either he doesn't believe it, or he's resentful that he would say this now - from crowley's pov - to cover up and compensate for what he said before. as he goes to walk away, but is called back by aziraphale, his turn and his carriage is... not petulant, that's the wrong word, but almost impatient? like he's humouring aziraphale at this point, but not that he has much more interest in what aziraphale has got to say. and again! given everything that has just been said and done, from crowley's perspective, that's completely understandable.

it's the turn of the head; crowley already has his barrier up with his glasses on, but he's cutting off any remaining communication he can give to aziraphale. it's interesting that he's specifically chosen to look out of the window, where we presume the metatron is - but does crowley even see him? does crowley essentially dissociating so rapidly that he can't even see that the metatron is there? or does he see him, and think that it's of very little consequence - the metatron won, he's got aziraphale (or - aziraphale was always heaven's, anyway), and it's barely worth notice or comment?

but it's also like he's giving aziraphale another chance - another chance to change his mind. if he didn't at least have a small flicker of hope left that that might happen, it stands to reason that crowley would have simply kept on walking. but he stops, and he waits. as aziraphale keeps talking, however, he turns his head specifically as he says "together", and appears to clamp his mouth shut as he does so, as if almost to say 'it's no use saying all this, because i'm hurt and i'm angry and i'm giving up. you want us to be together only if i come back; i'm never going back, you keep pushing, so how can you so desperately want to be with me if this is the only circumstance in which you can bring yourself to do so?'

of course, then, we get aziraphale's last gut-wrenching plea that he needs crowley. it's so simple a statement, and it has no condition afterwards, nothing to qualify it - and yet it is still something that aziraphale has never said, or - to my recollection - ever expressed in this capacity. sure, he's begged him with puppy-dog eyes to make hamlet popular, or to miracle the stain out of his coat, but nothing so heartfelt and dire as this. it's as true to any love confession that i think we get in the final fifteen; especially when you consider the mirror of the line in 1862 - "i don't need you..." / "and the feeling is mutual, obviously!" - and the context in which that is said.

aziraphale has, as bravely and vulnerably as we've seen aziraphale do anything else, vocalised something as close to a love confession as he can currently get... and crowley doesn't say anything? doesn't even look at him? throughout this confession of sorts, crowley has continued to look out of the window, and whilst we know that this is likely out of self-preservation on his part, what must this seem like from aziraphale's perspective? presumably it feels like a rejection - but is that a rejection of the entire thing - the whole offer - or of what aziraphale has just told him?

in the above moment, we can see aziraphale's face clearly crumple in hurt when crowley doesn't even acknowledge what he's just said, before masking it rapidly with indignation. he then lashes out with "i don't think you understand what i'm offering you."

indenting this next bit, because i need to ramble it out:

whilst i do think (as i said in the last post), that aziraphale might genuinely believe that crowley in some small part wants to return to heaven to be an angel, crowley has quite clearly rejected, in the room, any notion of it. his repulsion at heaven, and the notion of forgiveness, is not as wishy-washy as it was at the bandstand; now, he is vehement and firm that his opinion of heaven cannot get any lower. and i think aziraphale knows it. plus, the way that aziraphale words and proposes the restoration offer to crowley feels like he was aware that it might be a hard sell. so when aziraphale says 'you don't understand what i'm offering you', i don't think that aziraphale was himself talking about the restoration specifically; i don't think he's essentially saying, 'crowley, you're being so stupid, you could be an angel again - what part of this don't you understand? do you even comprehend what i'm trying to give you, here?' what i think aziraphale is, however, offering to crowley is that he and crowley remain together. aziraphale doesn't have much of a choice in going back to heaven - that much seems fairly apparent - and the only way, as far as he sees it, that they can remain together is if they go back to heaven together. and to do that, crowley would need to become an angel. i know people have often viewed aziraphale's decision to return to heaven along of the lines of, 'he loves heaven more than he loves crowley'... but i don't think that's it at all. to aziraphale - him begging crowley to come with him, work with and help him to make a difference (i.e. the right thing to do, i.e. a difference that is meaningful to, and controlled by, them), for crowley to not even look at him when he tells him he needs him - it must frankly feel like a rejection of aziraphale himself? when aziraphale says that crowley doesn't understand what he's offering him, i think it's more along the lines of aziraphale saying that he's offering all of himself to crowley. in the hope that, even if it means crowley has to return to heaven, being together is enough to warrant it? that aziraphale himself is enough for crowley to want to do that? 'do you hate heaven more than you love me?'

this feels like a stretch, i grant you, but given everything we saw towards the beginning of the episode - especially where shax's first jibe at aziraphale is to undermine what aziraphale actually means to crowley ("emotional support angel"), something that aziraphale presumably already fears (i.e. that he's a means to an end, of sorts) - it doesn't seems implausible.

furthermore, when crowley retorts that he understands perfectly, and understands more than aziraphale does, aziraphale's reaction then makes more emotional sense. of course, from crowley's perspective, he thinks that this is about the restoration, and of course he understands more about what aziraphale is offering... because how can he not?! he is fallen, he fell, and there is no way he, someone who has gone thousands of years (potentially millions) being deemed unforgivable and irredeemable, can ever be restored like aziraphale is hoping he can. and why would he want to be? that's not something aziraphale as an angel would ever be able to fully understand; the futility of wishing otherwise, the insult, and the impossibility.

i do think that it's worth bearing in mind that canonically, the implication is that aziraphale was not there to witness crowley's fall - possibly not even the fall in its entirety. we're never shown any instance where crowley even talks about it to aziraphale. absolutely, this is evidently a delicate and (if nothing else) touchy subject for crowley, and he doesn't owe aziraphale a deeper account than the questionable "sauntered vaguely downwards". but equally, it's not fair to assume that aziraphale knows how much of a boundary he is crossing by even entertaining the idea, and pushing it.

perhaps he should have inferred it at a previous point, true, but... the closest we get to crowley talking about it is "the angel you knew is not me", and "i won't be forgiven! not ever!". it's not unrealistic that aziraphale would infer these two poignant lines as crowley being wistful for the chance at redemption or forgiveness. ultimately, in my view, it's not until the final fifteen that aziraphale begins to have even the faintest idea of just how deep crowley's antipathy for heaven runs. it's not a case of just thinking they're a bunch of dicks, but that fundamentally, crowley will never align with heaven under any circumstances.

so when crowley says this, he is absolutely saying 'i know about this subject more than you do; i am fallen, you are not, and you therefore are not able to understand like i do why being restored is not only unthinkable, but the worst outcome possible for me. it's not the good thing you think it is. i want us to be together, but you're asking for something i cannot - and will not - give you, and you don't seem to see the problem in asking me in the first place.'

but aziraphale is not thinking of this; what i think he might be hearing from crowley is, 'no no, i know you want to be together, and are offering yourself up to me with your whole heart; the issue is though that if it means i have to go to heaven to have it, to have you... it's not enough to make me do this. i don't want it; nothing and noone would warrant me doing this. you are not enough for me to acquiesce to going, and moreover you're not clever enough to understand that.'

it very quickly, i think, stops being about crowley not wanting to return to heaven - at least, not in the way they were previously discussing. instead, it feels like aziraphale is now starting to internalise crowley's reaction as a reflection on himself. which then, for me, that makes aziraphale's next line of "well... then there's nothing more to say." make all the more sense to me... because that's the kinda thing you say after things have really hit the ground, right? and i imagine, for aziraphale, hearing crowley essentially say that he's not enough would probably elicit that reaction. that crowley ultimately has no further use for him (again: "emotional support angel"), because crowley can so easily discard what they had, and so very nearly could have had. and not only that - crowley implies in his wording that, once again, whilst aziraphale is incredibly intelligent in some ways, he can also be phenomenally stupid (which turned out great the last time he said it).

aziraphale clearly tries to put a brave face on - school his expression, blink away the tears that are clearly gathering and brace his mouth against the trembling - and slap on the fakest, tightest, weakest smile. just before it switches to crowley, however, you can see the anger begin to set in; looking towards the ground, aziraphale seems like he's already given way to the feelings of disappointment and betrayal, and possibly even humiliation? that he's laid out his own heart - he thinks - so clearly, and it's being refused as if it's nothing.

now look, idk about anyone else watching this scene for the first time, but... my reaction to the part of this bit of dialogue was... not dissimilar to aziraphale's. after all of this emotional outpouring, both parties being hurt by the other, etc., it feels completely apropos of nothing for crowley to suddenly be asking if aziraphale can hear whatever he's meant to be hearing. aziraphale's reaction, to me, not only within character, but entirely reasonable; he's wound up, going through a thousand different emotions, and yet he's meant to be hearing... what? a car alarm? someone thumping out some drum and bass? of course aziraphale retorts testily, and agitatedly; they've just reached the end of an intense discussion and - as he sees it - the whimper end of six thousand years of being an 'us' in various capacities. he obviously isn't, but i can imagine that it would feel that crowley is trivialising what's just happened and, in aziraphale's shoes, i'd probably be a bit shitty - and subsequently bitchy - in my delivery too.

but of course - ha - we then get the suckerpunch of the nightingale line, and we feel the weight of it right alongside aziraphale. the poignancy and tragedy of what crowley is saying with this. there's been numerous of delicious metas regarding the motif or symbolism of the nightingale (personal favourite for me is the shakespearean link to the nightingale/lark in R&J), but in the context of the story? the context that both these characters presumably know and understand? we know about the end of s1, and it's suddenly apparent that the song was diegetic. that both of these characters recognise that the nightingale represents what they nearly - and did - have and accomplish by the end of s1.

there's no piano tinkling in the background, playing what we now understand is considered by both of them to be their song, (i still have very narrowed, suspicious eyes at 1941), to put them in a lovey-dovey mood... because this? right here? this isn't going to have a happy ending. calling attention to the sheer absence of it, figuratively speaking, only confirms for the both of them that whatever they did have - or were on the cusp of having - is gone.

moreso for aziraphale; it's abundantly clear when the finality of this hits him, evident in his dumbfounded expression that follows immediately after crowley says the line. and the way that crowley says it, how it could be perceived as incredibly nonchalant and casual (and for the audience absolutely betrays just how devastated crowley likely is in saying it), is evidently shocking for aziraphale; the notion that this is truly broken, this is done, and there is no coming back from it... and crowley already has a foot out the door already.

which is only hammered home with this:

idk, again, if this was the same for anyone else, but even upon first viewing, this felt acutely unfair. not only the idiot line, which as i've already alluded to seems to be a firm boundary for aziraphale (we'll get to 'i forgive you' in a minute huns, i promise), but the way that crowley very firmly places this whole thing upon aziraphale.

up until this point on first viewing, personally, i was content with appreciating that both of them had a good point; that their perspectives were so agonisingly polarising but had equal merit. but this does not all rest on aziraphale's shoulders; there isn't, to my mind, even any blame to assign in this whole sequence, but to my mind they are both equally accountable for the outcome. they cannot align their separate belief systems, can't align what they think is the right thing to do, but share the devastating want to be together. there's miscommunication, sure - but not enough that i think either leave each other not knowing that the other cares for them deeply. it's understandable why their paths have diverged, but both of them have been fighting for 'us' until this bitter end.

so, to then watch crowley essentially drop the blame for them not being together so squarely on aziraphale's shoulders was... frustrating, to say the least. that aziraphale is so firmly in the wrong, and that him being 'an idiot' is the only reason why they're not making out on the sofa and skipping into the metaphorical sunset right now. that - if we're being real here - if aziraphale had abandoned whatever he had considered to be the right thing to do, and followed crowley in what he wanted, what he considered right, that they'd have a future together (and that's not even taking into account the whole metatron-threat thing, but i hadn't reflected on that upon first watch).

i think the fact that crowley did this, frankly, is not lost on aziraphale. he certainly reacts accordingly; his face crumples minutely before he turns reflexively away - both away from crowley, and away from the metatron (because, lest we forget, he is still outside). it feels like what were web-like fractures spidering out across aziraphale have now suddenly cracked under the pressure, and the first piece has fallen. it makes sense that in this moment of actual physical vulnerability, something that aziraphale wasn't quick enough to school away and mask, he would turn from crowley to hide the hurt he's just handed him.

(lol are you ready bc i'm not)

sigh.

okay right; this is probably the only bit of the final fifteen sequence where, by large, my reaction to it has not changed. to be clear; i love the kiss for what it does narratively, and the delicious possibilities that it opens up in s3. i think the kiss, and their respective reactions within it, are perfectly in line with their characters. frankly, on the whole, i enjoy it for what it is.

lets start with the preceding bit, as a reminder; crowley's distraught, aziraphale's distraught, we're all distraught. crowley has said something that, to my mind, is quite frankly unfair, but understandable for him to say from his perspective. it's also the line that causes aziraphale to physically break, and he's turned away from crowley to hide himself and prevent crowley from seeing the hurt that it's caused him, the ensuing vulnerability. to my mind, by extension, aziraphale is now at a point where he thinks it's all over, that there's nothing to salvage, and that they're done. crowley certainly seemed to give that impression with his line about the nightingales, and "we could have been us."

aziraphale breaking, and turning away, evidently spurs something within crowley; that there does seem, somehow, to be some hope that aziraphale will stay, and so crowley immediately strides over to him. the thing is that after initially watching it, and then thinking on it a little more (and rewatched another six or so times), i... didn't get it? i didn't get what the point of it was. it seemed abundantly clear to the both of them that aziraphale wasn't going to change his mind, and neither was crowley (and tbh, neither of them should - and even if one of them did, it wouldn't erase the *waves around vigorously* everything that just happened), so what was the kiss meant to prove? what result was it meant to have?

it could be that there wasn't meant to be a result of any kind, that crowley was just outpouring his emotion in a make-or-break physical way. yes, absolutely, and i would think that (that it was a purely emotional action, not necessarily meant to do anything), but... when they break apart, crowley clearly appears to be waiting for something.

but i'll get to that in a minute; the point however seems to be it's aziraphale's break that kicks crowley into action. that he still has an 'in', and he can use it. aziraphale cracked, crowley sees a glimmer of hope, and does the most direct thing that comes to mind that would impress upon aziraphale just how desperate crowley is for him to change his mind.

i said in a meta a few months ago, god knows where it is now, that the whole interaction appears somewhat predatory - like, literally, in the animalistic sense. it's violent, and fast, and there's no room for discussion or manoeuvre in it; grab him by the lapels, drag him round, plant it on him, and hold him there. the dance and motion of it is almost serpentine in nature. of course, again, i absolutely recognise the desperation with which crowley is evidently acting, and there's no part of me that thinks that this is done out of anything but the most deep-seated, painful, aching love, but it's... still uncomfortable. i don't see any romance in this, personally, at all.

that doesn't diminish the romantic feelings fuelling it, however, but it's not the kind of kiss, i think, you would expect to see from someone intending to romance someone into remaining with them...? of course it's more than possible (a certainty really, depending on the hc; ymmv) that crowley has simply never kissed anyone before, and just simply doesn't know... what to do? and maybe that explains why he doesn't move, doesn't actually... do much of anything, whilst kissing aziraphale. but we know crowley has seen at least one stereotypically romantic film, and presumably has seen romantic kisses throughout history. so to me, it kinda begs the question of - if a typically-romantic, climactic, show-stopping snog wasn't the intention here, what was?

i put this in a photoset when the parallel had struck me, as they often do, at 2am; there was a huge emphasis played, in crowley and aziraphale's first truly meaningful encounter post-eden, on aziraphale's first temptation. something that he obviously enjoyed for millennia to come, and has a huge impact on him as an angel and as a person.

additionally, someone else posted at some point soon after s2 aired that the way aziraphale devours a whole bloody cow is reflective of the fact that, at the time, he didn't realise he was starving. apply this to the kiss, and we can imagine what kissing crowley would mean for him in turn. if aziraphale succumbed to the ox-rib temptation, and likely other temptations that followed afterwards, it would make sense that crowley might - might - resort to a similar method in getting him to stay, at a point when all else has failed, and crowley thinks he has no other option left.

i'm in two minds as to whether crowley meant the kiss, full-chest, to actually be a temptation (for me, it makes his characterisation even more nuanced and complex, so i'm largely on the side of it having been intentional, i'm afraid), but the way that he pulls back afterwards, and waits for the verdict, strongly suggests to me that it might have been.... waiting/hoping? for aziraphale to change his mind. that if it was a temptation, that he pulls away hoping that aziraphale will declare himself to remain on earth with crowley.

i realise the above may be a point of contention, and accept that - tbh, i just enjoy exploring the possibility. and even if crowley hadn't intended it that way, i think aziraphale certainly may have seen it that way (which again, for me, is in line with aziraphale's development starting in s1 with resisting crowley's insistence that he kill the antichrist etc.). but again i'm getting ahead of myself-

so wham, in with the kiss. aziraphale obviously reacts initially in shock (no, i don't think it's revulsion, but it's certainly surprise and likely a bit of the ole 'what the fuck'); he keeps his eyes open, his eyebrows drawn together in a frown, his posture is stiff, and his hands flail. but then... he melts into it. more than melts into it - he returns it. his eyes close, his face relaxes, and his hands come up, hesitantly and tentatively pressing into crowley's back. there does come a point during the kiss, however, where aziraphale's hands detach from crowley's back, and return to flitting around like he's unsure of what to do with them. at which point crowley finally releases him, and breaks the kiss.

a combination of aziraphale not physically pushing him away, and even proceeding to draw crowley in, with tenderness? to crowley, i can imagine he breaks the kiss hoping ever so slightly that whatever it was meant to be or convey - temptation, whatever - made aziraphale change his mind. that this last-ditch effort was enough to make aziraphale stay. he pulls back, and almost seems expectant of some kind of result.

aziraphale's immediate reaction, once the kiss breaks, is not so static. he falls back out of crowley's clenched fists, and his face takes to unadulterated heartbreak and despair, but ultimately seems to be rooted in panic...? shock? aziraphale also pointedly looking out towards the doors is telling, because i don't think it's wholly left his mind about who's waiting outside, and the position that he's now been put into - where he has to reconcile this really quite distressing experience with everything that has come before it.

by god does aziraphale cycle through some emotions here. he can't even look at crowley whilst he processes this maelstrom that's going on - sorrow, longing, confusion, and pure shock - and stumbles over his words trying, i think, to find the right ones to say. the kiss, i think, has very nearly done its job; aziraphale is clearly conflicted, but i think struggling to find a way to express that he wants this, but he still can't stay. trying to anchor himself to something, to a decision, that won't destroy himself or crowley in the process.

however, before he even gets that far, there is a really key moment where his expression abruptly changes, almost like he's realised something. in that moment, it's where he finally makes eye contact with crowley, and for an infinitesimal moment, aziraphale seems to eye him with something like... betrayal? disbelief? and that's where, unfortunately, i think the temptation element comes in, because i think aziraphale recognises it (or at least, thinks he does). and possibly recognises that, from aziraphale's perspective, crowley has resorted to something that he knows nearly always works on aziraphale, trying to force his hand into doing something that aziraphale has already expressed he will not - and presumably cannot - do.

but beyond that; i've said before whilst kisses do not feature in austen's literary works, aziraphale is hardly ignorant of the trope that a kiss - typically - in romantic fiction can carry weight as a declaration of love. has aziraphale ever idly wondered on what it would be like to have a first kiss with crowley? yeah, probably. but arguably what crowley has done is taken that - taken something that is precious, tender, meaningful, and cannot be taken back and redone - and turned it into something heartbreaking, possibly manipulative, and overall - frankly - something ugly.

aziraphale even gets a little smirk on, because in that moment i think he's genuinely angry at crowley... for any/all of the above. he seems so plainly resentful and appalled by what he thinks crowley was doing, thinking that aziraphale wouldn't see through it, and resorts to his textbook bitchiness in the guise of a sarcastic and sardonic smile. and even his body language - he exhales sharply in a small huff, his shoulders relax and his posture straightens, and he even bears his teeth slightly the smallest of snarls. and then, of course, he delivers the fatal blow of "i forgive you".

i know there have been a fair few interpretations of this line, and what aziraphale was saying with it. mine, personally, is very simple; this is how aziraphale can basically get away with telling crowley to go fuck himself. in s1, he says it in a way - responding to crowley's rather painful line about aziraphale being 'so clever, but so stupid' - that almost feels, on the surface, as if it's intended with benevolence and kindness... but is instead saying 'fuck you, that hurt. so i'm going to say this in return knowing it will hurt/annoy you in turn.'

and tbh, i don't think it's any different in this moment of the final fifteen sequence either. aziraphale is clearly hurt (once he delivers the line, you can see his face shift once again back into soft sorrow) and clearly angry. he is lashing out in a way befitting his 'bit (see: lot) of a bastard' streak, because he perceives it to be striking at something that resembles a weakness, or sore point, for crowley. it's also a clever insomuch that should anyone ever overhear him, he's being his devout angel self... but to him and crowley, it's absolutely a code that they both patently understand.

crowley then seems to just... accept that nothing has changed/it didn't work, and simultaneously rolls with the gut punch that was "i forgive you", like he's not even really surprised that aziraphale had that response to give him. he sighs, in a way that practically vocalises 'disappointed but not surprised', and succumbs to the inevitability of them not having (yet) the happy ending that he'd perhaps hoped. he turns, tosses "don't bother" over his shoulder, and leaves the shop.

i think "don't bother" could be taken multiple ways; if we accept that crowley actually knows the underlying subtext in "i forgive you", it could him saying, essentially, 'don't waste your breath, we're done/i'm going'. if he takes it literally, it could be 'i'm a demon, as you've so clearly pointed out, don't bother trying'... or 'i'm not sorry or asking for forgiveness, i did what i felt was right'.

last little bit before i close off here (i'll do an epilogue for the last bit of the sequence, up until credits roll; there's too much to try to squeeze into like two gifs and a couple of paragraphs):

when crowley leaves, aziraphale most obviously looks desperate himself, panicked, and heartbroken... i'm even somewhat sure that he's about to call crowley's name, or a simple "no" (this bit is next on my 'lipread' list) and stops himself. his lip pouts, he's breathing heavily, and whilst - by god - his eyes are a watery mess throughout the entire sequence, this is probably as close as he gets to shedding actual tears. there's still some residue confusion, like 'what the fuck just happened, that's not how that was supposed to go'.

it's clear that aziraphale is generally distressed, and he certainly looks this way... just before the point that his hand raises to his lips. the way it's so shaky, and hesitant, the wide-eyed, shocked stare before rapidly blinking, perhaps both in disbelief and also to rid himself of the tears building? and then, whilst his fingers are almost trying to imprint the kiss even more, he lowers them and reveals his face stiffening into a sneer (jaw and nose tightens, eyes become more hooded, eyebrows draw together).

now, i'm in two minds as to who this sneer is directed at - is it at crowley, because of the same reasons he may have said 'i forgive you'? or is it at metatron, for putting him in this position in the first place? honestly, i think it's the former; aziraphale seems to have almost all but forgotten the metatron, and his reaction to metatron returning to the bookshop would support that. his head turns so quickly to the door when it opens, and that hope and surprise quickly disappears when he realises it's not crowley... turns away, most likely to wipe his eyes (even possibly his mouth), before turning back to the metatron to answer as to crowley's reaction.

which - and i'll leave off with this, because it'll follow neatly into the epilogue post - seems odd. metatron has presumably seen crowley come out of the shop, and even if they don't exchange a look, let alone words, he can clearly surmise that negotiations went a bit sour if crowley has left without aziraphale... if it wasn't obvious by now, it's seems to be a very blatant, and yet artfully delivered ploy. whether the motive was to separate them out of fear/trepidation, or just simply get aziraphale back in heaven under his thumb without crowley's influence, it's clear that the metatron never intended - nor thought it plausible - that crowley would agree to return to heaven. his next lines certainly cement that thought, and i think might have registered to aziraphale too.

i'll be back at some point ciao

#good omens #feral domestic/final fifteen meta #metatron spec #aziraphale meta

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best-underrated-anime · 3 months

Text

Best Underrated Anime Group J Round 2: #J6 vs #J4

#J6: Students transported to bizarre new realities

#J4: Kids conquering dungeons to change the world

Details and poll under the cut!

#J6: Sonny Boy

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Summary:

Thirty-six students find themselves and their school building suddenly adrift in a void-like dimension. When supernatural powers awaken in some of them, a sense of detachment begins to divide the group. Despite the student council's attempts to impose order, they clash with the students possessing special abilities, who rebel against their strict control.

This conflict leads them to discover that this world has its own set of rules—and following them is necessary for survival. After one of the students decides to take a leap of faith, the school switches dimensions once again. While they deal with the unique challenges and circumstances that each world presents, the students must unravel the mysterious phenomenon and find a way back home.

Propaganda:

Sonny Boy is one of the best shows to come out in recent years. The setting and plot is very fantastical, with superpowers and dimension travel, but fundamentally the story is about the characters. The character writing is really unique. Even the side characters feel like real people, not just cheap gimmicks.

But the main draw for a lot of people are the visuals. Sonny Boy looks like no other anime. The backgrounds are just absolutely stunning, and the realistic character design helps contrast the unreality of the world. There are these amazing visual sequences that just blow you away with how creative the writers must be.

I can't say much without spoiling but it's the kind of show you just have to experience. This is the kind of show where people either love it or hate it. If you are looking for clear, linear storytelling, this is not the show for you. If you're looking for a straight mystery where everything is solved in the end, you might be disappointed. If you want to cry, and feel something, and think about what it means to be alive, then I cannot recommend a better show.

Trigger Warnings:

Animal death - a bird died and is used as a metaphor

Flashing lights - many weird kaleidoscope effects and other sequences

#J4: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic

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Summary:

A Magi is a magician whose inclination toward magic is so immense that they can be said to shape the world. With their significant influence, each Magi chooses a worthy candidate to become a king, then helps them conquer strange labyrinths called "Dungeons" and acquire the power of mythical djinns within. Above all else, the Magi supervises their elected representative as they build a country that might one day bring the world to its knees.

Aladdin is a young Magi wandering the world in search of his true self. However, his journey is not a lonely one, as he is accompanied by his friend and mentor Ugo—a djinn he summons using his flute. On his travels, Aladdin also befriends Alibaba Saluja and guides him to a nearby Dungeon. With this newfound friendship, they begin an epic adventure across the world, witnessing various irregularities that seem more frequent than ever.

Propaganda 1:

Imagine characters from Arabian Nights/1001 Nights coming to life in an anime. Even though it is loosely inspired off of the tales, it is a unique time and place from most anime settings. It has action, humor, and deep concepts. One of my favorite parts about Magi is how well-developed the background characters are.

Propaganda 2:

This anime has a lot of philosophical takes on what fate is. Basically, is everything that happened to you caused by a force you can’t control or is it what you make of it? Is there something or rather someone pulling the strings on what should or shouldn’t be? Is the person you are because you were lucky or unlucky to be born in the wealthy family or not? Why are things the way they are? Why was I dealt with a shitty hand in life? Is it because I’ll never amount to anything, or is something doing this to me? Why are we here just to suffer kind of deal, but you know not the meme version, the really sad and real version. Then you have the side of the people who may have not had the best life, but found a way out of it. Why do some people get to feel the light when you went through the same thing, but still lost and in the dark?

Trigger Warnings: Partial nudity and slavery. One of the mains is a slave in the beginning, but the other two mains help free her from that.

When reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

If you want to criticize one of the shows above to give the one you’re rooting for an advantage, then do so constructively. I do not tolerate groundless hate or slander on this blog. If I catch you doing such a thing in the notes, be it in the tags or reblogs, I will block you.

Know one of the shows above and not satisfied with how it’s presented in this tournament? Just fill up this form, where you can submit revisions for taglines, propaganda, trigger warnings, and/or video.

#anime #best underrated anime #polls #poll tournament #tournament #anime tournament #animation #group stage #group stage round 2 #tournament polls #sonny boy #サニーボーイ #magi the labyrinth of magic #magi labyrinth of magic #magi #group j

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baeshijima · 11 months

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a re:zero!hsr au brainrot (will contain mentions of death & blood as a result)

imagine you find yourself in honkai: star rail one day. there was no indication of a typical transmigration, only you waking up to not the sight of your ceiling, but a... space station? it doesn't click at first, and so you merely think of it as a lucid dream, roaming around the vicinity as you try to familiarise yourself with the environment. with nothing on you except your pajamas, there was nothing else you could do.

in hindsight, you probably should have realised this wasn't a dream when you stubbed your toe against a corner, the dull pain being a clear indicator of your new reality. it wasn't until a set of voices that seemed oddly familiar sounded from nearby, your legs carrying you towards the source, did you realise your predicament; even more so once you recognised the faces you were so accustomed to seeing on your screen.

in front of you stands dan heng and march 7th, two characters from a game you've been playing as of late. dan heng is the first to notice you, and his mouth moves to say something only to widen his eyes, an arm reached out desperately in your direction. his shouts of "behind you!" are registered when a searing pain punctures your abdomen, a shrill ring piercing your senses.

this is supposed to be a dream, right? so why does the pain feel so real? why is your heartbeat so loud and your breathing erratic? why is your body burning up? why is your blood... wait, blood?

your eyes zone in on your hands stained crimson. there's a muffled sound which evades you, your vision distorting as the world around you blurs into one.

were dreams... supposed to be so realistic?

you awake with a start. your hands fly to your stomach as the burning sensation appears once more, though dulled. frantically, your gaze shifts around your surroundings, and the hopes of you being back in your room shatter upon seeing the same environment of herta's space station.

like a checkpoint, you've returned once more — alive.

you avoid stubbing your toe this time, instead heading straight to the place you encountered the two characters. will they know what happened to you? your answer comes in the form of confused looks and march's attempted comfort of "are you suffering from amnesia as well?"

and, well, you're not. you know damn well you died moments ago and are somehow alive again, but when you relayed this information they were none the wiser. luckily, you remembered you were attacked from behind. so with a brief assurance that something will appear, you move towards their side and wait.

and, sure enough, one of the mobs from the antimatter legion appears, charging straight at you despite the change in position.

the matter is swiftly dealt with, and you somehow find yourself accompanying the duo when they board the astral express with the trailblazer, now being their own character, in what now makes you a quartet. your mind, however, is in a state of conflict. if you were to die again, would you "respawn" again? would you wake up back in your bed? would you... perhaps not be given another chance?

the future is uncertain and, quite frankly, you're not willing enough to find out.

unfortunately, the universe seems to be against you. your taunt level seems to be ridiculously high with how often you find yourself a target of enemy mobs (sometimes you're even singled out!). with that, however, comes unpleasant experiences; all of which result in your death and immediate revival.

the checkpoints in which you respawn seem to change depending on how far in the "story" you've progressed, and your knowledge of the beginning storyline have come in handy. that won't last for long once you get past a certain part in the xianzhou storyline, but with how many resets you get, it probably won't matter.

you see the same scenery. you hear the same dialogue. you see the same expressions. you see the same characters. you feel the same pain bring darkness to your world only to be set alight once more in this never-ending loop.

repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat — that is all your life is. a constant loop of the same video, changing it every now and then to a new one to be looped.

it's tiring though. being the only one to remember all the good, the bad, the hurt, the laughter... it's terribly lonely. no one will understand your pain, because no matter who you tell they will forget once it all resets.

you've come to hate the isolation your room provides, but at the same time crave for it. it's both your escape and your prison, a contradiction to your gradually numbing mind as you replay the same scenes over and over and over and over.

you can't help but wonder, will there be a point where you don't return? and if so, what will happen to you then?

(unbeknown to you, destiny's slave sees you. he's seen you in all his prophetic dreams and the path towards a pre-determined future. your fate alters slightly with each reset — something he takes great interest in — and he keeps a watchful eye on your movement. you're an anomaly in his grand plans, an enigma he cannot tell will be an ally or foe.

well, seeing as you keep repeating and altering your destiny, he wonders what it is you know — what it is you've seen which has caused violent ripples of uncertainty to cloud your judgement.)

#sophie talks : concepts <3 #cries the amount of angst potential this has..... i love it sm #anyway its 1am so i will now sleep 🫡

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thefirstknife · 6 months

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are we finally going to see sjur eido given next season is season of the wish?

I highly doubt it. Definitely don't get your hopes us.

The next season is the last one before TFS so the story really has to focus on finally learning how to get through the portal. Given what we know, this will involve Ahamkara and whatever shenanigans that entails.

Sjur is a completely different story, and it involves the Nine, which would make the seasonal story way too overcrowded. It would also have to include whatever Ahamkara we'll deal with as a new character + Sjur as a new character which is too much new stuff to focus on.

I think Sjur's return, if planned at all, is probably going to be dealt with at some point when we deal more with the Nine. The Nine are a huge unexplored area of the setting that could fill a niche post-TFS.

Of course, anything could happen still, but this is just the most realistic scenario. If anything, I would love to see Sjur mentioned in lore! We got a really small mention of her in Defiance, I would love for something extra. I am also hoping for Mara to be involved a lot more AND for them to fix the mistake from Lost and include Eris this time. I know Eris featured here in Witch as a main character, but I really want Mara and Eris to be on screen together and interact which they should've done in Lost, but there were too many characters to include.

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 spoilers #season of the wish #season of the wish spoilers #sjur #ask

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chirpsythismorning · 11 months

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Realistically do you still think Milvn will breakup in the first couple of episodes? I feel like the fabdom is focusing on fanon so much at this point that they are missing canon and actual narrative on the show. It seems very unlikely to me for Mvln's breakup taking place in first couple of episodes. But the fandom are still stuk in their previous thoughts and cannot seem to think differently at all and never even consider the possibility of mlvn breakup happening way later on in the next season. Most of the Byler's analyses about El's character has turned out to be wrong. El doesnt seem to be done with the relationship. She still loves Mike (or thinks she does) and she drew strength from his monologue. A mildvn breakup right into S5 does not make any sense canon narrative wise. We can argue that the show was different that the script, while i agree with it to an extent i reaaaly think people are trying way too hard to discredit the writers intention and the script here. El was not angry at Mike. She was sad about Max and Hawkins' situation. 🤷‍♀️

What i am saying is that i feel like most Bylers are misinterpetating what is happening with the narrative here and it leads to unrealistic and baseless expectations for the characters and S5 regarding how Mlvn vs Byler will take place. And i am greatly sorry but i dont think Mike lied in his monologue, like at all. And the situation reads like "Mike loved el romantically but they wont be together bc of incompitability". El is not even still over Mike. And people expect her to be like "i breakup with you bye" right into S5. Mike still has underlining feelings for El. Like... all i am saying is people shouldnt base their expectations on headcanons and fanon misinterpretations.

Lastly, while i really would like a more detailed gay coming of age and sexuality storyline for Mike, realistically going by canon i dont think its happening. Sorry. They will mostly focus on Will's sexuality and coming of age it seems like and Mike will mostly have a "realization" arc where he realizes El and him are not fit for each other and then he decides to be with Will.

Based on the show’s trend of doing break-ups (or at least implied break-ups) early in the season, yes I do think it’s likely that the audience will at least have the impression that Mike and El are broken up early in s5.

That’s based on a technique they have done repeatedly, whereas the assumption that they will break-up midseason is based on what exactly? The Duffers saying that s5 is jumping right back into the action?

I mean, if anything shouldn’t that be an indication that the arcs heavily built up in s4, that were left deliberately unresolved, are going to be dealt with in a timely manner, as opposed to being put on pause and then squished into mid s5, when we’re arguably going to have even more stuff the characters are dealing with? Like, them literally fighting for their lives?

When it comes to Mike’s monologue giving El strength according to the script, this is actually really easy to explain and so I will!

For starters, they did not disclose El's feelings about the monologue in the Piggyback script, bc they released it knowing it would go public, at least two years before s5 is set to actually come out. They would not just throw in a huge spoiler like that, seeing as it was intentionally left unaddressed in s4, with the intention to be addressed in early s5. That’s the whole thing about s4 kind of leaving things so shaky and uncertain, with s5 jumping us right back into that, bc there was just so much set up for all of those dominos to inevitably fall.

To understand Mike’s monologue and its impact on El better, it might help to recall the memory of El’s birth and how her mother’s love is what gave her the strength to defeat Henry the first time in 79’.

I mean look at the lighting of that scene, it’s probably the brightest fucking lighting we’ve ever seen in the entire series (you know what light means... pure, genuine, true love…). And it’s because strength from love is much more powerful than strength from anger. That’s something she is literally throwing back in Henry’s face that day of the massacre, going against what he told her to do and instead using the memory of her mother’s love to beat him.

During Mike’s monologue, we see El using anger to give her strength to finally break free and stop Vecna, all orchestrated by events that Henry has had a role in impacting, meaning he was actively going up against her this second time, all while knowing that in order to actually beat her, she needed to be vulnerable and unable to use love as strength, with her only option being anger. And so what we see is anger about Mike still woefully misunderstanding what she had tried to explain to him earlier in the season, along with watching her best friend be murdered in front of her. And look at the lighting of that scene, she's literally seeing red. The atmosphere is eerily uncertain at best.

This monologue was SOOO necessary for the narrative in order to keep the public away from considering Byler. Because they already don’t want to consider it as it is, and that monologue gives them an excuse not to. You saw how they reacted to the piggyback script? Like it was this huge sigh of relief for them? Meaning that they were having doubts…

The thing is, I have considered the possibility of a mid-season Milkvan break-up. I’ve talked about how waiting until mid-season, something that would be unprecedented bc they’ve never done it before, would be odd considering we will be dealing with vastly different concerns and conflicts by that point.

For them to hold off settling a break-up, that was built up all of s4 (arguably since s3), until mid-s5, would fall flat. If anything jumping right into the action means all the major stuff built-up, but left unaddressed in s4, is what we’re jumping back into.

They need to address those things so that they can move on to the aftermath of all of that and then beyond that. 5 episodes of ignoring that, and then 4 episodes of it happening and processing all of it AND dealing with endgame right as the finale is coming to a close, would be hard to juggle and make satisfying.

The reason they like this approach so much, is because it allows the audience to root for the other option in the love triangle. And with Will getting home-wrecker allegations as it is, a milkvan break-up is extremely necessary this time around as well, especially with byler being endgame and them really wanting us to root for them finally.

How can we do that if the Duffer’s break their own trend of early break-ups and in turn make it difficult for us to root for byler, all while leading on milkvan’s unnecessarily even longer (with no intention of going that route), making it even more unlikely for viewers to accept Byler endgame?

They’ve been building up to this inevitable break-up since s3, with s4 ending in a way that made it sort of obvious El is not happy with Mike and with Mike clearly struggling with something.

Are we just going ignore the implications of the inevitable painting reveal or the fact that Mike called El ‘his’ superhero (the most insulting thing he could do honestly, least of all during a love confession) at the end of s4, and have that confrontation be stretched out? For what? El hasn’t even responded to it or told us her side at all? She told Mike she missed him and that’s it… That’s all we’ve got. Like, let her speak and actually say how she feels about their fight in her room and the events at Surfer Boy and everything leading up to this inevitable moment for them.

While Mike and El didn’t outright break up in s4, there was heavy implications of it, and that was for a reason. They wanted us to watch those Will and Mike scenes throughout the season and see something more. Even though it didn’t end with a kiss between them, nor them officially getting together, they still did it because they wanted us to interpret those scenes as romantic comfortably. That's also why they kept Mike and El seperate at the end of s4, because they wanted us to look at Mike and Will in a way that made us go 🫣🫣🫣 at the very least.

Now, if s5 is leading to Byler endgame, just imagine how much more important it is to make it really clear that Mike and El aren’t happening?

Another even more important reason to have break-ups early in a season in general, is to allow the overall season to have a vibe that is cohesive as it’s own entity. Major stuff happens at the beginning and major stuff happens at the end, with the middle making up the overall vibe and feeling they want us to subscribe to the whole time, with certain pairings being constant that time more than the end/beginning. It makes more sense for us to root for byler most of the season, the whole middle, and for the first time at the end now as well, while letting go of El and Mike early on, even if it’s ambiguous like it was in the previous season. Personally I think the prospects of a dump your ass parallel are high… (can we do something interesting and fun like speculate how the break up would go down? Will it be angsty? Will it be lighthearted? Like I want to see all of those hot takes bc that's actually something that is more fun to think about than the 'when').

I know some people are here because they love romances or love queer romances and just enjoy shipping in general, but I’m genuinely here bc Byler makes sense based on all that stuff you would probably consider to be reaching. That stuff is the best part to me. So, if you don’t like others doing that, then consider muting those that you deem as people ‘misinterpreting the narrative’, again, according to you.

At the end of the day you can believe whatever you want to believe.

This idea that it’s okay to tell other people they are wrong and have baseless claims, all while ignoring the actual evidence they are presenting… Like I mean this just comes off like Milkvan’s telling Bylers they’re delusional for considering Mike and Will as being a possibility at all. If you have to constantly use, it’s not that deep as your core argument after being presented with evidence, while only yourself giving maybe one or two reasons at most for why your interpretation makes the most sense, then you’re probably not actually open to considering things based on evidence. You want to believe what you want to believe and you're projecting onto others for not following along with it.

Especially when it comes to the whole Mike having a coming of age story or whatever, where some fans have tried to make the argument that there is nothing to support that, when that actually couldn’t be further from the truth. Bylers have provided heaps of evidence. If all of that is not enough for you, that’s something that you have to contend with at this time. Just like us believing what we believe based on evidence we’ve gathered is our concern and something we have to deal with, not you. No need to apologize! Just try to worry about your own interpretation of things and feeling confident in that, but without having to tear down others' because they don’t subscribe to yours interpretation of things.

Because I feel like it would honestly be a lot more humiliating to insist other peoples theories are wrong and they’re only going to embarrass themselves in the end, only for that person saying that to end up being wrong… Everyone is making theories and everyone is bound to be wrong about some or even most. That's okay. That's natural. That's sort of an unwritten part in the agreement we all agree to by participating in this theorizing in fandom experience.

When it comes to Mike again and his arc, I always say this, but it really comes down to this more than anything.

Finn is 2nd top billed among the kids. He used to be THE top billed among the kids for s1-3, but then he got bumped down behind Millie in s4. There is a major possibility, that Noah is going to be ranked up, with him going from being paired up with Sadie, under Gaten and Caleb, to be bumped up under Finn with them sharing a title card. Though it’s unlikely they would rank Finn down under Noah, who was not even in the opening credits of s1, while he was the first name that season and the following two, meaning Finn's character Mike needs to live up to that top billed spot right behind Millie. He needs to have an arc on his own that is equally as substantial as Will and El's arcs, and separate from them just like theirs will have aspects that are separate from Mike as well.

Because Mike was the protagonist of the first season, he HAS to be important again in a similar vein in the end for the show to work as an overall five part story. When people go back to rewatch after s5, they are going to be met with Mike front and center. That will only be satisfying if we get genuine insight into his character in the final season, beyond the surface level.

Quite honestly, ALL of the kids deserve something deeper than what you are implying for Mike, and so applying that to him, the og protagonist, is just so absurd to me. If anyone is going to come out with a surprising arc we’re not expecting, it’s Mike. The audience is already not expecting Will to actually get the boy, that's the aspect that they aren't prepared for for Will, and so what about Mike's unexpected reveal?

Literally most of the audience doesn’t even think there is the slightest possibility Mike could be queer. You don’t think that warrants some addressing and unpacking…? You know… because he never really unpacked…?

I feel like people hear me say Mike is going to be important in s5 and go oh so you don’t think Will is the main character?? And it’s like?? Honestly my answer is yes and no. I think Will is literally the spine, the heart, or whatever you want to call it. In Finn's own words, he is the reason that everything happens and he is the most important character arguably, because of how important he is in terms of all of these events taking place throughout the series.

However, Mike is at the forefront from the very beginning and we arguably see everything from his eyes in s1 and 2 more than anyone else. But that goes away in s3-4. And that felt extremely intentional based on what is about to go down (byler endgame). You can tell that by doing this, they are trying to lead up to a reveal that brings him back to his original place in the story for the audience to see him as his most authentic self again, and with answers for why we lost that insight in between.

I could count up at least 20 Easter eggs hinting at Mike being in danger/targeted, which goes all the way back to the first episode of the series.

This isn't even considering, that another trend they’re likely to bring back in s5, bc if they don’t they’d be breaking a series long trend, is Mike being late. He starts every season late. And so, what is Mike going to be late for this time? Could it have something to do with all of the unknowns about him that are yet to be addressed?

I think that sometimes we say that something isn’t going to happen because we don’t want it to. A lot of this stuff I’m saying happening isn’t based on feelings, it’s based on actual evidence.

If you don’t want certain things to happen because of x, y, z, you can just say that is the case instead of making arguments that there is nothing supporting it, when that’s not actually true?

Like nothing? Nothing at all? Baseless? Like, be serious rn.

ST5 is very likely going to give off s1-2 vibes. While Mike is going to be less in the background compared to s3-4, Will AND El are still going to have equal, if not more attention than him, bc I do believe that their bond is what is going to also be a part of saving Hawkins.

The ending is going to be surprising bc those primary color-coded bitches are the answer to it all. If me saying that upsets anyone because it goes against their interpretation of things, I'm sorry too I guess!

#byler #stranger things #st5 speculation #pls go make theories of your own and have fun #if people don't subscribe to your theories #maybe don't assume everyone else is wrong #like is that really the only possibility here #i mean we all technically agree bylers are right about byler being endgame..#so they have a record for at least being close to being right because they're paying close attention to the details #i feel like using 'all bylers think this' as like a dig or some sort of attempt at discrediting a theory is sort of weak #a lot of people probably like something because it makes sense...#is that always the case?#no obviously not #still calling bylers delusional is so triggering like come on now why are we using milkvan methods #stop even implying bylers delusional #even if it's out of love #embrace the delusion #and let people be responsible for their own emotions if they're right/wrong in s5 #this is a tv show #we'll all be okay either way #but along the way lets not make play it off like we care for other people's feelings all while basically telling them they're stupid...#be confident in your interpretation and leave it at that

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