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gh0st-patr0l · 3 years

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ADHD in DSMP

So about a week back, I made a post about Karl Jacobs (a bit of a passive aggressive one, I’ll admit, but I think it was justified), complaining that a lot of the ‘criticism’ I see about Karl is actually rather insensitive towards his ADHD. I got a lot of responses to that post, and the most common sources of confusion I saw were:

People not understanding what I was saying they should avoid being judgmental of, or-

People who didn’t know that Karl had ADHD or didn’t understand which behaviors were caused by it.

First of all, Karl has confirmed that he has ADHD.

(NOTE: Yes, I know he said ADD. ADD and ADHD used to be categorized as separate disorders, but in the most recent edition of the DSM, it was decided that they are both simply subtypes of the same disorder- ADHD is the correct technical term. ADD is still sometimes used as shorthand by some practitioners to diagnose primarily-inattentive ADHD, but it's a bit outdated.)

Secondly, that original post made me realize that a lot of people who may be well-meaning may genuinely not fully understand ADHD and its symptoms as well as they want to or think they might. If you aren’t aware, Karl isn’t the only one in the DSMP with ADHD- to my understanding, both Technoblade and Dream have confirmed that they have it as well. So, I thought it would be helpful to put together a comprehensive crash-course on ADHD symptoms and how they effect people’s behavior!

Now, before we go further, I want to address something- as I said earlier, I saw some people unsure of whether certain behaviors are ADHD or “just his personality”. I feel the need to point this out above the read more so people will see it. To answer this question, as someone with ADHD;

A lot of times, it’s both. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder, meaning that it’s caused by the way your brain developed from birth. A lot of the symptoms and effects of ADHD are extremely influential towards the way we think, act, and behave, to the point where “symptoms” and “normal behavior” really don’t have a clean differentiation. This is why it’s technically classified as a ‘disorder’, instead of an illness. While certain aspects of it can require treatment, the condition itself as a whole is not something to be mitigated or eliminated- it’s a part of who we are as a person. This is also why sometimes, even if you don’t have ADHD, you’ll look at certain specific behaviors or experiences and go “Oh, but I do that too!”. A lot of ADHD ‘symptoms’ are just a bunch of normal traits or behaviors, but in combination with each other and some actually problematic aspects, form the appearance of the disorder.

So, what are you allowed to nitpick about it? Well, there’s no real ‘authority’ on this, and even if there was it certainly wouldn’t be me. But if you want my opinion? Nothing.

See, here’s the thing- what I was trying to say when I made that post was not that you can’t be critical of Karl. If you want to say something about his Actions, his Ideals, or the content he creates- sure, go for it, that’s fair. I will agree that there are some very valid and constructive points to be made. But when you post ‘criticism’ about the way he speaks, his interests or preoccupations, his personal behaviors? That’s not criticism. That’s just judging someone.

And you’re allowed to think that stuff! Nobody can control what annoys or bothers them. It doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person. But you don’t need to be vocal about it. You can keep your mean thoughts to yourself. And if you do make posts or communities or whatever about judging someone for things they can’t change about themselves, don’t call it “criticism” or try to morally justify it. It’s not productive or righteous, it’s just rude. Nothing else.

Anyway. Back to Education!

The following will be a descriptive list of visible ADHD behaviors, using Karl’s behavior as examples.

I feel the need to add a disclaimer here- I am not a mental health professional. However! I have ADHD myself, I have taken some psychology courses and done a Lot of research into this stuff, and I’m the daughter of a therapist with access to a DSM. While I’m not an expert, I’d like to think I’m fairly well versed and knowledgeable on at least ADHD. (That being said, if by chance anyone who Is a professional sees this post and notices mistakes, by all means let me know and I’ll fix it!!)

WHAT IS ADHD?

You’re here for the behaviors more than the science, so I’ll keep this short and sweet. ADHD is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (Known in the past as Attention Deficit Disorder). Despite its name, the root problem of ADHD is not in the person’s ability to pay attention, but their brain’s capability to manage itself. In simple terms, people with ADHD have a lot less control over what their brain does and wants. This results in some behavioral differences along with some personal challenges, namely a difficulty with attentiveness and self-discipline.

Now, onto the symptoms!

ATTENTION

This is perhaps the most visible and pervasive of the ADHD symptoms, hence why it’s the namesake. Inattention is a lack of focus and an inability to stay present and occupied with certain tasks or thoughts.

Because ADHD impairs self-management of the brain, people with it have an extremely hard time directing themselves anywhere but where their brain instinctively wants to go. This results in inattentiveness and the easiness of distraction that is often mocked or stereotyped for people with ADHD.

Here are some examples of how Karl can sometimes display his inattentiveness;

When he has an idea that he seems passionate about, only to drop it or switch to something totally different without warning soon after (either forgetting or getting bored of his original idea).

When he sets out to do something like a build, works on it for a short amount of time, and then immediately gives up or gets someone else to do it.

When someone else is talking and he totally zones out. (NOTE: While I wont make a whole section for it because it’s not easily observable, maladaptive (constant and intrusive) daydreaming is a common ADHD symptom as well!)

It’s important to remember that the whole problem with ADHD is that we can’t control when or what we focus on. When someone with ADHD zones out during a conversation or activity, it doesn’t mean they’re doing it on purpose, and they likely don’t mean any offense! We often are trying our best to listen or participate, but our brain just wont cooperate.

However, inattention is not the only way ADHD effects our focus. There’s also what’s called hyperfocus or hyperfixation, which is when we are so absorbed into a single subject, task, or idea that it is extremely difficult to get us to think about or do anything else. This is usually because our brains have found something that is getting those satisfaction chemicals flowing, and it’s clinging to that with everything it’s got.

People with ADHD will often experience brief periods of hyperfocus. Think of how Karl talks about spending hours straight working on a build or project without eating or drinking, or how he’ll sit down to play a game with someone and end up going six hours without even noticing.

There are also hyperfixations, where someone with ADHD becomes extremely preoccupied with a certain subject, topic, etc. for a period of time. These can be short term- personally, my hyperfixation can sometimes change as quickly as a couple weeks at a time. However, it can also be long term. Karl has been obsessed with Survivor since the second grade- not to mention his memorabilia, rambling, and constant references to Kingdom Hearts.

HYPERACTIVITY/STIMMING

This is a BIG one for Karl. I should clarify; ‘stimming’ is not a technical term, and in professional situations these behaviors are just referred to as Hyperactivity. However, I personally like the term stimming much more and find it far more accurate to what the behaviors actually are, so I’ll be using that instead for this post.

If you’re not already familiar, ‘stimming’ (derived from ‘stimulation’) is an unofficial term used to describe consistent and abnormal patterns of physical and vocal behavior typically expressed by people with ADHD and ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). This includes things that people usually call fidgets or tics.

(NOTE: There are differences in how people with those two disorders stim. This post will explain stimming specifically from an ADHD perspective! ASD stimming is caused by very different factors and presents itself in much different ways. Do your own research if you’re curious!)

There are two major observable forms of stimming- physical and vocal. Karl expresses both VERY often! I’ll use examples for each type;

Physical Stims: Flapping his hands/arms, jumping up and down when he’s excited, twisting around into odd positions in his chair, throwing, hitting, or tapping things, standing up and pacing around when he’s hyped up or laughing, twisting his rings, etc.

Vocal Stims: When he gets excited and repeats a certain phrase incessantly (Think any variation of “I’m popping off”), making certain repetitive noises while he’s focused on something or bored (”la la la”, the meow-noises, the weird heart-beat noise, etc.), singing or humming, tongue clicking.

It should be noted here that it’s pretty common for people with ADHD to get “stuck” on certain phrases or noises, and be unable to stop repeating them (reminiscent of echolalia, a symptom of ASD, but not the same thing). Think of how Karl might sometimes keep making a weird noise for an extended period of time even though it’s not that funny, or that one time he was physically struggling to keep himself from singing the Bakugan theme. These repetitions are completely impulsive and trust me, we usually know how annoying it is while we’re doing it, but we physically cannot stop.

ADHD stims are caused by the fact that the barrier between our brain and body is much weaker than a normal person’s. Because of this, most ADHD stims are actually very positive expressions of joy, excitement, or enthusiasm! Y’know how when you get excited, you feel like you wanna jump or dance? The ‘hyperactivity’ of ADHD is basically just that, but we don’t have the self-control to Not do it.

Stims can be caused by negative feelings like overstimulation, but in ADHD this is not nearly as common. Usually, the most negative reason we’ll stim is when we’re bored- in that case, our brain isn’t getting the Constant Stimulation that it naturally wants, so stimming is a way to make our own.

Whatever the cause, stimming is natural and impulsive. While different people experience it to varying degrees, those who regularly stim typically have little to no control over it. Suppressing stims is very hard and very frustrating to do.

Besides that, like I said- ADHD stims are often an expression of joy, excitement, or enthusiasm. They’re a beautiful thing that shouldn’t be seen as shameful or annoying!

BEHAVIORAL DIFFICULTIES

ADHD is a disorder which causes a lack of self-control. Naturally, this means that people with ADHD are inherently reckless, impulsive, and struggle with a lack of self-discipline that they cannot fix.

Of course, people with ADHD do still have some level of self-control, and they are still responsible for conscious, long-term behavioral patterns and decisions. However, in regards to most things, they are much, much less capable of controlling themselves than an average neurotypical person is.

These are some examples of how this will often present itself in Karl;

Excessive rambling, dragging on a joke or conversation when it could and should probably have been dropped, etc.

Speaking over or interrupting other people (NOTE: As someone with ADHD- THIS IS ALMOST ALWAYS UNINTENTIONAL. I know it can seem rude or annoying but I promise, 90% of the time if someone with ADHD talks over you, they either didn’t realize or physically couldn’t help it. Please try to be patient!)

Lack of awareness towards social cues (NOTE: Unlike ASD, in which the person is incapable of/has problems fully understanding social cues, ADHD results in a lack of awareness. For whatever reason, we’re often just not paying close enough attention to pick up on things like body language, tone of speech, and facial expression as well as we would normally.)

Indecisiveness and overthinking

Bluntness, lack of subtlety

Unintentional dismissiveness, accidentally ignoring things/people (NOTE: Again, this behavior is purely accidental. In this case, it’s usually just the person genuinely not hearing or processing things.)

Making noises, speaking, joking, etc. at inappropriate times

There’s probably more, but I think you get the idea by now. A lot of the time, behavior which results from ADHD can be seen as rude, lazy, dismissive, or otherwise intentionally harmful. In reality, we just aren’t wired to navigate common social interaction with grace.

In Karl’s case, he’s clearly an incredibly sweet, empathetic, and kind-hearted person, if the various close friends who have talked about him are to be believed. Just because he talks over people or makes a poorly timed joke, that doesn’t mean he meant any harm.

I think that’s about it for how much I wanted to point out! You can do more research if you’re curious, but I feel like this post should be enough to tell you what to keep in mind and be understanding about when talking about/making judgements on Karl, and other people with ADHD.

#sorry if this is longwinded but I had a lot to say so [shrug]#karl jacobs #dsmp #dream smp #dreamwastaken #ghost.txt

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ziaxkawaii · 4 years

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“Thank you...” (Bakugou x Reader)

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Warnings: Cursing.

Summary: Bakugou is passed out so you carry him to his dorm.

Part 1 Part 2

-“God he’s heavy!!!” You grunted as you stopped for a second to get a better grip of the boy on your back.

-Currently you were walking back from the training grounds right before curfew, and you were practically dragging you feet across the pavement while you carried unconscious Bakugou as gently and lightly as possible.

~You had his body on your back, carrying him in a piggyback style. One of his arms was thrown over your left shoulder and his head rested on your right one, while you held his thighs.

~Your muscles were sore from the earlier excessive training. Your arms and back were littered with burns and bruises, and your tired legs could hardly carry the weight of your body and also your friends slightly heavier body.

~He wasn’t doing any better though. He too had bruises and few tiny cuts from your attacks as well. And of course the obvious, he was out cold like a drunk person.

~If you had to explain everything that happened just 15 minutes ago in a nutshell, simply you and Bakugou were sparing together in the school gym area and as you were throwing punches and kicks at each other, Bakugou had said something that especially got on your nerves and you accidentally kicked him in the back of the head a little too hard, and he was out like a light.

~Whatever you did, he wouldn’t wake up. You couldn’t just leave him there or wait for him to wake up since you had a curfew. So you opted to just carry him back to the dorms, and it was way harder than you thought.

~The 1-A heights alliance building came in to your view, and you sighed out of relief but also out of nervousness.

~What if Bakugou woke up before you could get him to his room and he gets angry at you for literally trying to help him!?

~This boy was full of pride and didn’t want anyone's help even if he needed it. So if he woke up to see you carrying him like some kid, you probably would have an extra bruise by the end of the night.

~You weren’t ready to be blasted all the way to hell just yet.

~Even so, as much as he seemed to act like a villain in some people eyes. You and some other people like Kirishima saw through his facade.

~Bakugou just didn’t know how to connect with people since his pride was in the way and how growing up everybody basically worshiped and praised his stupidly powerful quirk and intelligence.

~It didn’t matter if a person is shy, happy, angry, evil or neutral, everyone needs someone to talk to and a person to call a friend. Or in Bakugou's case: an Extra.

~You were one of the people he ‘tolerated’. You and him would talk about topics that came in to mind, study silently or just bicker to each other about something irrelevant.

~It was nice in it’s own weird way.

~People are kind of like a puzzles. Some puzzles aren’t as easy they seem and you have to learn to understand how to solve it before actually doing so. Or you could do both simultaneously, and enjoy the in betweens of the journey.

~Bakugou was just a really hard one that tested your patience and your own temper.

~Even after all the headaches and insults that this boy threw at you, your friends and classmates. You still couldn’t deny your attraction towards him.

~Hell, he was good looking, talented and passionate about what he does, plus he was such a softy on the inside if people took the time to actually observe. Goodness why did he have to be so perfect at everything! It was getting on your nerves!!!

~Still, you pushed your own thoughts aside and continued on with your life as normal. You were happy and your presence didn’t seem to irritate him, so you accepted the reality and were grateful of what you had.

~You walked up the small stairway up to one of the class 1-A dormitory doors and with each step you were almost shitting your pants when Bakugou let out pained groans as if he was gonna be awake soon.

~Sure you were friends. But it didn’t mean you weren’t at least a little bit nervous around him.

~You reached the front door and attempted to open the door while trying not to drop the male on your back. You pulled down the handle, only to realize it’s locked.

~”Fuck…” You cursed silently.

~You did have your keys, you always do. But they were in your back pocket, and your were in no position to get them unless you wanted to wake up your friend and face his wrath.

~You tried awkwardly knocking on the door with your foot and knee, but it didn’t work too well. You took the risk and knocked on the door like a human being and quickly retreated it back to hold Bakugou's other leg.

~After a few moments, you heard movement from the inside and the door opened soon after. You were met with a blond haired teen whose quirk reflected in his hair as a form of a black lightning bolt.

~Kaminari looked at you two for a second before stepping aside and opening the door wider, allowing you to get in.

~”Just what were you two do-?” He began but you caught him off as you stepped inside.

~”It’s definitely not what you may think, so don’t even say it.”

~”Then what-” The poor boy was caught off again, but by Kirishima.

~”Whoa… what happened to Bakubro? He Is totally out of it!” Kirishima came out of nowhere and started gently poke Bakugou's cheek to see if what he said was actually real.

~”Don’t wake him up!” You whisper shouted. All the commotion had got some students attention in to common area and it was getting kinda embarrassing when you thought about it from their perspective. “I don’t want to be his next punching back, so can you please quiet down.”

~”Okay okay, but back to what I asked, what happened?” You sighed.

~”Long story short. We were sparing and I accidentally kicked him in the head hard.” You explained. “He should be fine.” At least you hoped he was fine.

~”Wow, well this is a first! Nobody's ever been able to get that kind of hit at Bakugou! I think you deserve a metal.” Mina elbowed you lightly in the arm as a testing manner.

~Seriously. The bomb is bound to explode soon if your classmates don’t keep it down.

~”Guys, let’s just get him to his room, QUIETLY before he-” It was too late. Bakugou began stirring in his sleep and let out more pained grunts. Your friends all held their breath as they realized they might’ve messed up, while you were just standing there with sweat forming on your forehead.

~’Please don’t be mad…’ You prayed. And as if the spirit heard you, Bakugou in fact didn’t wake up but was half asleep, and mumbling gibberish in your shoulder.

~You mouthed “Let’s just go.” to Kirishima and he nodded. You began to move again but stopped abruptly as you felt an arm snake around your torso and a second one hug your neck. Everyone present watched the scene in awe as Bakugou clung to you like a child to a stuffed animal.

~”So… soft…” He mumbled in your neck.

~You blushed profusely while some people around you gave either shocked or smirking faces. The latter was more prominent.

~Oh, you were in deep now.

~You and Kirishima swiftly rode the elevator up to the correct floor and Kirishima opened Bakugou's door to let you carry him inside.

~”So… warm…” Bakugou kept on mumbling again but seemed like he still hasn’t woken up, or enough so to remember anything after today, at the very least.

~”Okay, it’s time to rest now Bakugou. Let go.” You said as you walked over to the said boys bed and sat on it. Kirishima helped you pry Bakugou’s limbs off of you and you were finally free. You went to get up but you were stopped midway when a hand grabbed your wrist.

~”Where… you going…?” Bakugou whispered with his eyes closed.

~Is this the same Bakugou you’ve gone to school with and hung out on your free time? Because in any other case where you would have found him like this from somewhere, you would’ve been convinced this Bakugou was a decoy. Or...

~”He kinda reminds me of a drunk person.” Kirishima boldly blurted out.

~’Or that…’ You would have laughed but right now it felt wrong to do so, so you just ended up nodding that you were thinking the same thing.

~Before you two actually left the common room, Kirishima had grabbed a cold gel pack from the freezer to press on the injured boys head. He stepped closer and pressed the pack carefully on the spot you pointed out. The blond boy hissed a bit but didn’t wake up, let alone let go of your hand.

~”Do you think he’s going to be alright?” Kirishima asked next to you.

~”I don’t think this will cause anything critical. I didn’t kick him that hard but surely enough to form a bump.” You explained. “Plus, he’s been really tired lately for some reason, so he’ll probably sleep in tomorrow. I’ll take him to recovery girl tomorrow just in case. Hell, I’ll even drag him there if he wont cooperate.”

~”If you say so, and thanks for caring for him.”

~”He’s my friend too you know. Of course I would care for him.”

~”Yea, but I just said it so that you would at least get a ‘thank you’. You know how he is.” The crimson haired boy motioned to the ash blond.

~”I know.”

~”.....” Bakugou groaned and mumbled something coherent again and it got both of your attention. He pulled on your wrist for you to get closer and you complied, shifting a little closer so you could hear what he had to say.

~”Thank you… babe...” He said and let his head fall onto his pillow, at last getting some precious sleep. You became a blushing mess while Kirishima did his damn hardest to not laugh too loudly, so he resorted to snickering like some spray window cleaner bottle.

~”Wha -What did he just-!!” You whisper shouted, not knowing how to react.

~”I knew it…” Kirishima whispered to himself proudly. He may be a bit weaker in school but he was an expert when it came to knowing his friends and peers.

~You gently but swiftly untangled Bakugou's fingers from your wrist, stood up to pull his blanket over him so he wouldn’t get cold and left the room in a hurry with Kirishima trailing right behind you.

~The said boy was still snickering while you hid your red face in your hands. You already felt embarrassed from the comment alone but Kirishima being there made it two times worse.

~’I’m so dead.’

~”Please, don’t tell the others Kiri.” You pleaded. The red head smiled.

~”My lips are sealed (y/n).

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou #bnha #bnha x reader #bnha fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #mha x reader #mha fanfiction #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #katsuki bakugou x reader #bnha imagines #mha imagines #x reader #xreader

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ova-kakyoin · 3 years

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hey im gonna talk about dante for a minute because he, especially his autistic coding, is incredibly important to me

ive already talked about how i think, whether intentional or not, rise is really about gifted kid syndrome here:

and i was labeled as a gifted kid when i was younger so stuff like that is important to me but i mainly wanted to talk about how much of my younger self i see in dante and how its put into perspective that someone should have definetly realized i was autistic much earlier than i did so these r just some random things i realized he does that i did a lot when i was younger

1: not really understanding physical boundaries

dante clearly has a really difficult time understanding physical boundaries, he gets way too close to people to the point where they have to tell him to take a step back and he frequently tries to hug people without asking for permission first. this is the absolute biggest one, when i was little people knew me as 'the kid who hugged everyone' and i had no clue what physical boundaries were and my family frequently had to shove me away because i would get closer to them than they were comfortable without realizing it and he also has a tendency to take peoples things without asking or realizing its not okay

2: thinking outloud

this is one i find myself doing still today, where i think through an idea or plan but ill say it outloud and thats a whole thing in and of itself that dante has to deal with in rise, he has to learn to not think outloud so people wont hear his strategy

3: one track mind

once dante decides hes goong to end a battle with a burst, there is no convincing him otherwise, and ive found that i do this a lot too, if i decide im going to solve a problem one way, thats how im goong to solve it and i cant be convinced the do otherwise

4: having a hard time understanding when people are upset

dante clearly has a hard time understanding when people are upset, when devalos breaks, he doesnt really understand how much that shook delta and thinks everything is fine, and when arman was getting frustrated because he wasnt as strong as dante and delta, dante doesnt even realize it, and he especially doesnt realize how hes hurting arman by constantly wanting to battle delta over him, i didnt realize that not everyone had an ass of a time trying to understand when people were upset or not until like 9th grade at the latest

5: having a hard time expressing more than a few emotions

this one sort of goes in toe with the last one, dante, much like myself when i was little, only really has three modes: happy, confused, and frustrated/angry, he never really expresses any emotions other than those and when i was little i was literally know for always only being happy and never really expressing other emotions, even when things are going south, dante never really expresses if hes upset, save for when devalos and dragon were destroyed, and even then, he barely seems sad when dragon is destroyed and more frustrated than anything and even after being dropped out of the legend festival he seemed almost excited rather than upset

there are plenty of other things he does that remind me of myself but thats more me now than me when i was little, like the ways that he stims, but i wont go into that here

tldr; dante has a lot of similarities to me when i was younger and is important as fuck to me idk i just wanted to get my thoughts out

#beyblade #beyblade burst #beyburst #beyblade burst gachi #beyblade burst gt #beyblade burst rise #beyblade burst superking #beyblade burst sparking #beyblade burst surge #beyburst gachi #beyburst gt #beyburst rise #beyburst superking #beyburst sparking #beyburst surge #dante koryu #drum koryu #rbtr

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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God I'm so glad to talk about the game lmao. I also finished it! It was fine Ig I think the start of the game was so fantastic so my expectations were a bit much but it was fun! I loved playing as Ciri and just zapping all over the place, wish we could do that more.

But yeah I completely agree with you on basically everything that you said lmaooo, Yen is just unbareable the more I learn about her and the things shes done/the way she treats ppl, I just don't see what I'm meant to like, even if Geralt wasn't the Best person, he deserves so so much better, Idk how I'm gonna read the books if this romance is canon there too, hopefully it won't bother me too much. She so far doesn't really have any redeeming qualities, even her small moments of humour and wit are sort of "yeah okay but it's not fun when you do it cause you just spent the past few moments berating someone for daring to try and help you so like" I actually ended up sort of liking triss the more I talked with her and Yen, she at least apologises for her wrongs (which are still massive holy shit) and doesn't rly treat geralt like shit (same with Kiera, I think thats how her name is spelt, shes cool), they both kinda fuck over geralt but they own up to it which I can at least respect, still not a fan but they're okay, at times. God the women in this game are either really fucking cool or just a bitch, usually in a not fun way The game came with both dlcs! havent really touched them cause the ending was a bitttt of a let down, I thought I wasn't near finishing cause I put it off for so long lol so my bad, probably will get into them tho! And im on ps4 so no mods :( the exp shit would be so good, the last boss fights were really easy though? I think I was level 34 (I wanted to wear my good armour lol) and the quests are level 28 so maybe I was a bit over leveled but some random mobs in world beat my ass just before the main quests so idk lol. Do you get to hang with Ciri at all post game? They're so damn cute together

Out of curiosity which ending did you get? I was pretty satisfied overall (witcher!Ciri ending for me) but I remember thinking that the last couple of plot points were pretty rushed. Though tbh, looking back I’m not sure if that’s actually the case, or if things just felt fast to me because I missed so much buildup trying to keep track of the basics. Now that I know the characters, world, conflicts, etc. I keep coming across lines and details that make me go, “Oh, THAT’S what we were referring to!” for plot points that previously felt like they came out of nowhere.

Playing Ciri is so much fun though. I enjoy zapping around as well...even when I accidentally zap myself into some guy's sword XD

I’m constantly told Yen gets better in the books (something, something major character development) and I’d be lying if I said that “The Last Wish” didn’t turn me off, but I personally stopped reading due to more than just Yen. The epic just didn’t grab me. The short stories absolutely, but I didn’t like the writing as much in novel form, heard a lot about future plot points I had no interest in/made me very uncomfortable, didn’t want to read a bunch of Yen being Yen prior just to getting a development I may or may not like… there was a lot that made me drop the books, so I’m not exactly in the best position to be recommending them, or even warning against them from an unbiased perspective lol. I might give them another shot sometime, but for now I’m happy with the games and fandom content.

I’m liking Triss a lot more on my second playthrough too (especially how selfless she is regarding the other mages) and I always liked Keira. I think the game did a good job of making her kinda selfish and manipulative (as sorceresses are wont to be in this world), but not to such an extent that you’re utterly repulsed by her actions. Her conflict is “I want to not live in squalor the rest of my days and am willing to mislead a friend to achieve that. Also foolishly trust a mad king that, if I go through with it, ends in my horrific death.” With the resolution being like, “Oh, someone else will give me a place of safety with something as basic as clean bedding? Sweet! Yeah, now that I have some security, company, and comfort I’ll use this research to cure a plague, nbd.” Keira is a great example of TW3’s argument that if you choose to help and nurture people, good things will happen for everyone, and it doesn’t ask you to ignore anything really awful to get there. I can very much stomach “You kept some info from me and put me to sleep for the night” in a way that’s far harder to do with, “You actively misled me for months while I had amnesia, cultivating this fantasy relationship” or “You callously disregard another’s culture and torture our daughter’s friend through necromancy.”

Depending on the choices you’ve already made, you can hang out with Ciri for like, one cut scene in the DLCs lol. But it’s indeed a cute one! Basically, if you didn’t romance either Triss or Yen and Ciri is still alive, you should see her again. I’m absolutely that fan that if CDPR decided, after this many years, to randomly add more TW3 content, I would in no way be opposed. I want more time with Ciri, with Regis, there’s a character from the second game named Iorveth who was supposed to reappear in TW3 but had to be cut and that tragedy will forever haunt me. Forget the mess that is Cyberpunk, just keep making more Witcher content!

#witcher

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glitta · 3 years

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Okay, so I need to just.. get some things off of my chest here. Because at some point soon I’m probably going to stop coming to the tag because I need to vent but I also don’t want to keep wallowing. It’ll make it harder to move on when I keep reminding myself of it and getting angry and sad about it.

First I’ll say that I am 100% convinced that they’re done with romantic barchie. I become more convinced each day. And I know some people are hanging on, which is fine.. you do you. But I also hope you see it soon, because I don’t want them to use you. I don’t think it’s fair, and we barchies have been through so much.

What convinces me that they’re done? First.. this was the perfect opportunity to go for it. If they didn’t explore it now, when the road was clear, then they’re not going to. Next..they made some callbacks to the first season, and they were in vrchies favour. The callback to the s1 party? Ended the same way. Archie going after Veronica. You would reverse it if you wanted barchie. And they even used the “if you love me” pilot song back in 5x06, which showcased Archie looking off - because he was feeling things for Veronica, as it turned out. So no, the answer to the question if he loves her is no. (now, I call bullshit and retcon, but this is the canon they’re going with now) Then you have Archie not showing indecision or being caught between the two and not showing feelings for Betty. I hate it, but didn’t. He said he was perfectly fine with booty calls, but I guess when it started mixing with Betty being upset after a nightmare, it started to feel wrong when his feelings for V were growing and he didn’t want to lead Betty on. Archie didn’t look happy when Jackson said he was juggling two girls.

Then you have Archie’s wildly different reactions to Veronica picking his key, and Betty getting his key. Like, honestly.. even if they wanted to go in a direction of him having to deal with lingering feelings for Veronica and then feelings for Betty getting deeper.. we would have seen him having feelings for Betty. Like now. And that’s not how it played. He just showed zero feelings. Which is a retcon from practically the whole series, but this is their new take. To erase barchie from the equation and guarantee the fans of those other ships their endgames.

Then you have “the break up scene”. Following on from the retcon, I’m just so frustrated with this because of the lack of effort. They didn’t explore barchie and let them really navigate their feelings and figure if they worked or not. They just had them had meaningless sex (apparently, at least on Archie’s end) and throw some reason out there why they ~don’t work~. That was full fanservice and closing the door by declaring that they.. don’t work. Even though it was full TELL and not SHOW. I still don’t even understand?

Take it back to Betty’s conversation with Kevin - where she was so happy and didn’t want it to end, btw. Like lets lay it out:

“I don’t want to get too deep with him.”

“Why?!”

“He’s this lit window in the darkness. And I don’t ever want that light to go out.”

Okay.. so my take away from that is that she would like it to be more, but it’s a fear of losing him if things don’t work out and she’ll lose the light that he brings. Fair enough, I kind of get it.

But then when it’s a conversation with Archie, she just say’s they’re completely different people in their cores. ?? Being different people is not a reason to not be together if you get on. If you’ve been best friends your whole lives. If you have amazing sexual chemistry. And then with him being her light - damn, utilise that. Does it really make a difference if he’s helping her as a friend or romantic partner? Will that make a difference in not dragging him down if he’s there for her anyway through what she’s going through? It just doesn’t make any sense to me. And it’s not like Archie doesn’t have his own issues and trauma. But it’s again all in favour of the antis/other shippers who just want to know that BA are over and insist from their biased perspectives that they can’t ever work. The writers are full on catering to that, and I can’t for the life of me understand that obsession when you’re running the show to it’s end with those kinds of decisions. I just feel like they went.. right, we need to find an excuse why they wont work, and insert some word vomit and use the words “we should work because (cliche) but we’re different.” and think that just.. explains it all, even though it’s all tell and no show.

Anyway, I think that covered the biggest red flags I saw for the end of the ship. So now let me start on the thing that pisses me off even more even more than them fucking ruining my ship to serve the antis everything they want.

The engagement of the writers on social media leading up to this. You want to tell a story and do whatever you want? Fine. But I cannot grasp what kind of people take a ship that it’s fans have been waiting for.. for four years while they dropped hints and had them kiss and teased them.. and hypes them up and makes them promises of a romance coming up.. and then fucks them over in about 3 episodes by ending the ship for good. And rushing back to the other ship.

Who does that? How do they think it’s okay to fuck with people like that? And then they victimize themselves because people are calling them out. (note: not condoning any death threats or extreme things)

And it’s not even shippers that have a right to be angry, just as a side note. A fresh start and new things were promised. And they’re right back to the stale things? Make it make sense. You can’t.

You know, not that long ago I was still laughing at myself for loving a ship on Riverdale. Like no offense, but past the first few episodes I thought this show was a joke, and became more so. But I loved barchie. They were this little thing that made so much sense and seemed to have a set up for a beautiful story in the end. So I got invested in that. Jokes on me?

And I will never understand how they think it’s the best story to keep the same two couples together for the duration of the show with little to nothing else. They couldn’t keep them apart for 5 episodes through cheating and a time jump? It is SO insane and odd? It is so boring and complete fan service and actually ruins the show and makes it a joke?

And I’m happy that Betty and Jughead were “allowed” to have sexual relationships outside of each other, but at least 3/4 of these characters never got to experience another loving relationship outside of their high school loves..? (and I’m only excluding Veronica because I think at some point she loved Chad at the start..?) Now, I’m not dissing all high school relationships that go to marriage. But to just pair up two couples neatly with these core 4.. and have them break up for 7 years and still not give them these experiences and relationships is stupid and really fucking sad. You can love more than one person in your life, and it doesn’t discount anything.

And if they wanted them brought back together eventually, they could have actually had a much better build up back to it? Yet they’re just incapable of taking any time and wont keep them apart for more than a handful of episodes? I’ve never encountered a show like this, and that is not a good thing. At all.

And the fanbases they’re catering for are so entitled. And I guess that goes hand in hand with the constant fanservice, but it’s just such a toxic thing. I don’t think any fanbase are innocent angels, but as someone who has dealt with their shit and entitlement from season 1.. it’s just unbelievable and funny any time that they try to say that we.. I don’t know, deserved this? What does that mean your toxic fanbase deserves?

But let me clear about something: I’d never want your content and ships. More screentime, maybe. But even then the screentime and focus on two ships took over and at least the barchie fandom never wanted that with our ship. We were happy to share screentime with other characters. And if my ship had one cheating on the other with someone the other character had always worried about.. and they never apologised for the cheating? I think I’d be done. As it is there’s a lot of barchies that don’t excuse or forgive things that went down and unsure if they could forgive it and like the ship again.

And hey, I will take Archie being Betty’s light and never wanting to lose that vs I don’t know.. sharing darkness with someone else?

And barchie’s chemistry was unmatched. (and drew people back in that they will now lose.)

Anyway.. I think I’ve covered at least most of what I wanted to. Didn’t mean to get so anti-other ships at the end, but I’m just venting on everything.

#barchie #riverdale #anti riverdale #rant

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good-rwbyaus · 3 years

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@little-voice-the-parasprite wrote: ...now I want to hear Weiss’s tale on this. This is like a fanfiction idea in the making.

Like, one of thosw fanfiction ideas where the beginning was launched out of a cannon just a few degrees to the side as opposed to canon, and the differences greadually make themselves more and more blatant and glorious as the stories unfold.

// I got you! 8) - mod lilac

____

Perspective :: Weiss // Becoming - [ main chapter ]

logo-comics asked: What about an AU where everyone had somehow been under the mistaken assumption that Ruby was a professor at Beacon? For a laugh, Ozpin rolls with it whenever he's asked about it.

Weiss remembered the brunette clad in red when she first arrived. At first, she thought the overly energetic girl was Ozpin’s kid. Free and expressive without any of the reverence a student should have for an esteemed Headmaster of a combat academy.

And then she heard the Headmaster say something very scary.

“Professor Rose.”

At first she couldn’t believe it. This Rose was younger than her and still had baby fat on her face, but as the Headmaster and Professor Rose spoke about the months prior to today, she became more and more astonished.

Cutting down a pack of Beowolves on her own.

Taking down a Boarbatusk with her bare hands.

Collaborating in a Hunters mission.

A normal student at a preparatory academy couldn’t do any of these things. Even students at combat academies didn’t start participating in missions until 2nd year, but this girl - probably not older than fourteen - did it.

But what really got her was the smile the girl wore when the Headmaster spoke of her exploits. Her demeanor wasn’t arrogant but shy and excited - as if she couldn’t wait to head out to fight even more.

It’s just that the girl needed a team to do so.

Heh. Pyrrha. Who’s Pyrrha? What champion of Mistral?

This was the person she needed to partner with.

-----

"And that’s not to mention all the connections you can make knowing the heiress of the Schnee Dust Company,” Weiss explained hastily to the pajama-wearing Ruby Rose who just gave her a blank, unmoved expression.

Argh. What did this girl want?!

Ruby didn’t care about the educational pension she offered nor did she care about sponsorship by the Schnee Dust Company after graduation. She didn’t blink an eye either about having her weaponry supplemented with all the recent Dust research the SCD could offer. And the only time she did react was when she offered free expert weapon maintenance during her stay at Beacon, and the girl gave her such a disdainful stare that she got flustered and stuttered through the rest of her recruitment speech.

By the time she finished, she was red in the face, embarrassed by this girl who didn’t seem to care for this valuable opportunity at all.

Was she just playing hard-to-get, trying to get more out of her? Or were all prodigies like this?

As though she noticed how awkward she was being, Ruby sheepishly rubbed her head with an apologetic look in her face.

“Uh...Weiss, right? That’s great and all, but I don’t think you’re what I’m looking for in a partner,” Ruby said hesitantly with a bow of her head.

Was this pipsqueak looking down on her? Professor be dam- whatever.

“What are you looking for in a partner then?” Weiss asked, unable to keep the frustration out of her voice.

Ruby’s friendly demeanor turned serious at the drop of a hat.

“Can you fight?” Ruby replied without missing a beat, “And can I trust you to have my back?”

Those two questions made her mouth gape her like a goldfish.

It was clear that all the things she cared about - connections, money, power, opportunity - were worthless in front of this fourteen year old girl. And Ruby was being genuine, not trying to negotiate more out of her like businessmen were wont to do. She could feel the conviction in the other girl’s words as if nothing else truly mattered in that little world of hers.

It was such a shock to her own worldview that she just stood there, even after the young girl shook her head and walked away.

The girl was right.

In the end, weren’t those two things the only things that truly mattered when fighting the Grimm?

It was the first lesson she’d learn from Professor Ruby and certainly not the last.

------

Have to find Pyrrha. Have to find Pyrrha.

Dashing through the Emerald Forest at top speed, she charged towards the gold and red blur that she saw flying above earlier. Sure, maybe she wasn’t able to give her recruitment speech to the Invincible Girl, but after learning the rules of forming a team, she realized she didn’t need to.

If she had known about the absurd manner of how they’ll find partners, she wouldn’t have thoroughly embarrassed herself last night.

Eye contact? Really?!

Well as long as she didn’t get the pretentiously suave blond guy Jaune as a partner she would count it as a win. Seriously, if she heard Snow Angel one more time, a name she couldn’t escape from when she was at Atlas or those stupid high-society parties her father favored, she was going to shove her heel into a place where the sun didn’t shine.

...Being around Ruby may or may not be worse. Sure, she’s a Professor-in-training, so she’s going to be experienced, but it would be weird having to listen to someone two years younger than her. Not to mention she thoroughly embarrassed herself in front of the gir-

As she burst through the treeline, her eyes widened as she caught a familiar crimson-cloaked figure. That figure turned its head towards her.

Silver eyes met hers, and Ruby wore a surprised expression for a moment before it quickly turned into a grimace.

“Oh.”

----

“Ah. Thank you for getting me down from that tree, Ruby,” the blond thanked, holding the spear-shotgun in his hands.

“Don’t mention it,” Ruby replied back, a genuine smile on her face. One that she never saw when the girl spoke to her.

“I still don’t see why you got him down there,” Weiss said grumpily, “He should be able to figure out how to land himself, not need another Hunter’s help. Do you like him or something?”

“Huh?” The blond in question looked to her and then Ruby.

“I think I just like Crocea Mors.”

“Wha-?” Jaune said, glancing over at his blade and shield-scabbard.

“I thought about why I felt really good about Jaune when we met at orientation,” Ruby spoke, not really paying attention to the other two’s reactions. It seemed she was used to monologuing; Weiss couldn’t help but picture Ruby as a lonely girl despite all her outward bubbliness. “And it has to be the shield. People who use shields are either scared of death or have something to defend. And since Jaune’s here despite being unstealthy, walking in a manner that’ll easily catch him flatfooted, and not having unlocked his Aura, he’s clearly not scared of death.”

“Uhhh...” Jaune laughed nervously. Weiss could only gave him an incredulous look.

“Honestly, if I had the choice, I’d rather pick him than you, Weiss.”

That hurt in more ways than one; was Ruby’s opinion of her that low? Her gaze locked back onto Ruby.

“Why?”

“Nothing personal. But Bart once said you can teach someone to fight, but you can’t teach loyalty,” Ruby quietly said, “And I don’t really know you well, and Jaune. Well, he has a shield.”

She was so annoyed that she wanted to laugh. Here she thought Ruby was thinking of her as completely unskilled and worthless, only for this reasoning to pop up.

“Aren’t you being a bit arbitrary?”

“Arbi-wha?” Ruby asked confusedly.

Weiss opened and closed her mouth before growling in frustration, “...Argh. How do I explain what that means? How can you be a prof-”

Ruby suddenly stopped and drew out her weapon. That alerted her and made her draw Myrtenaster right away. Jaune belatedly drew his blade and shield moments later.

“Grimm are coming,” Ruby hopped upwards into the trees, “I’ll handle long-range fire. You two engage.”

------

She darted through the battlefield using her Glyphs as platforms. Her precise bladework aimed for necks, eyes, and hearts, each one efficiently dispatching the Grimm that surrounded them. Occasionally, Myrtenaster would glow with an icy or fiery light, her favored attack elements holding and destroying the Grimm that got into her range.

From above, she could hear the tinkle of fallen bullet casings as Ruby provided sniper fire. She had an eerie feeling that every bullet the girl fired lethally found its mark.

“Hurggh!” the blond slashed down again and decapitated another Beowulf, probably the fourth or fifth compared to her dozen. Ruby was right. He was uncoordinated. Wrong foot out with his attack, sabotaging his gathered momentum. But against the young Beowolves, it was enough. And though his blade skills were poor, his body itself was pretty well-developed - if he ever started training for real, he had a really good foundation to start from.

Weiss mused to herself. Loyal people tended to be grateful, right? Maybe she could attract that sort of loyalty to her if she were to train him, but alas she was smart enough to know she was far from qualified. She’s more likely to lead him down the wrong path and wouldn’t that generate resentment instead?

Still, it’d be interesting to see if he could gain the skills Ruby expected him to get in the futur-

Wha- wrong Glyph?

She stumbled and slid into the ground instead of onto the Glyph she wanted to create. Lifting her head up, she saw the Beowulf she landed in front of about to deliver a haymaker onto her frame.

“Weiss!”

She saw the blond’s back as he stood in front of her, shield protecting them both. Her heart fluttered for a moment. Despite her cruel words and rejections, Jaune still took up her defense.

Loyalty.

The blond stumbled to the ground as he absorbed the blow, his hasty positioning too unstable to withstand it. Struck flat into the ground, Jaune groaned as his shield arm fell out of position with the Grimm about to strike down again.

“No!” she screamed.

Myrtenaster glowed white as she brought herself between the fist and Jaune, a White Glyph manifesting in front of her.

But then a flash of white suddenly bisected the Grimm, and its figure dissipated into red petals. Ruby came into view, slowly folding her scythe back into its portable form - the one or two Grimm that remained seemed to have been cleaned up by her.

Before she could thank the girl, Ruby started speaking.

"Ahh sorry. I knew you had it,” Ruby said apologetically before grinning, “I just wanted a chance to get up close and personal.”

It made things a bit awkward to be misunderstood like that, and she paused for a moment trying to find tactful words before realizing what she should actually be doing.

She lent a hand to a dazed Jaune and helped hoist him up.

“Hey,” Weiss said shyly, “Thanks for blocking that blow and s-saving me.”

“Ha. No problem. If there’s one thing I can do, it’s take a beating,” Jaune laughed, patting his chest with his fist.

His casualness brought a smile to her face, and it was nice to see another somewhat normal person in their group of three. Their companionable silence lasted for a moment before it was broken by Jaune.

“Ruby, why’d you fight long-range?” Jaune turned his head and asked confusedly, “I thought you’re a pretty good scythe wielder.”

Ruby lightly kicked a pebble on the ground as she frowned and grimaced, “I don’t want to be levitated out the Admin Tower by my foot again.”

Huh?

“For messing up another collaboration. Like umm... I use a scythe. I hit very wide, and you two fight in melee range and we’ve never fought together,” Ruby animatedly swung her hands to mimic her motions before finishing, “so things could get really bad, and Glynda said if I ever fought like that again, she’l-”

“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you!”

Pyrrha finally appeared.

---

Pyrrha and Jaune went their separate ways, having rejected their offer to travel together. When she asked Ruby about it, Ruby simply said, “I think we’ll be surprised by Jaune when we meet him again.”

As she said this, the girl rubbed her cheek against her weapon as if drawing comfort from it. It was oddly familiar, and she remembered her doing the same back when the girl was with Headmaster Ozpin at orientation.

“You really like your weapon, don’t you?” Weiss teased.

“Crescent Rose,” she closed her eyes and didn’t stop hugging her weapon, “She’s the promise of the life I want to live.”

Weiss shut her mouth.

What could she say to that?

“You haven’t maintained your own weapon yourself for a long time, have you?”

The other girl’s expression was soft, and when paired with the almost loving expression she had for her own weapon, her words seemed more patient and guiding instead of accusatory. In fact, ever since their fight against the Beowolves, Ruby seemed less standoffish with her as if...

...she finally earned the other girl’s approval.

“You’re right,” Weiss admitted, deciding that she didn’t want to harm their fledgling relationship with fake blustering. Ruby’s right. She left it to someone she thought an expert. “How could you tell?”

Ruby held her hand out, and she knew what she wanted and handed Myrtenaster over to her.

“What’s your weapon’s name?”

“Myrtenaster...?” Uhh. Why’d Ruby want to know?

“Myrtenaster,” she nodded her head before saying, “Myrtenaster’s cylinder kept moving less smoothly during your fight, and it’s been throwing you off. You don’t trust in Myrtenaster’s mechanism anymore.”

Like what she was doing before with Crescent Rose, Ruby held the weapon’s guard against her cheek. Weiss couldn’t help but feel astonished.

How good was Ruby’s eye of discernment to notice that small detail while they were all fighting?

“So you keep using your eyes to check what dust color you’re using,” Ruby continued, her hand slowly turning the Myrtenaster’s cylinder, “And you’ve gotten so used to it that you don’t think it’s a problem anymore, except that the lapse in your attention nearly got you hurt today.

“I think Myrtenaster would be sad if that happened, even more than your lack of trust in it,” Ruby opened her eyes sorrowfully before holding the weapon, hilt out, back to her, which she graciously accepted.

“Whoever your expert is is probably remedying the quirk with a good amount of oil, which solves the smoothness but not the unreliability,” she sighed, “Myrtenaster must’ve taken a very nasty blow to the blade in the past, which probably misaligned the cylinder column. You probably only noticed it after you’ve used it for a while - a detail your expert probably wouldn’t have noticed because they don’t actually wield your weapon.”

Weiss recalled a phantom pain against her scarred eye, a Giant Armor’s fist crashing against both her and Myrtenaster. She had the blade itself repaired, but Ruby was right - she never noticed the cylinder’s problems until recently, and her expert kept saying it was in perfect condition despite her concerns.

“I get what you’re saying. I’ll maintain my weapon on my own from now on,” Weiss acquiesced.

“I’m sure Myrtenaster would like that,” she smiled, genuine happiness on her face once more before slight awkwardness returned to it, “Uhh. Hmm. Come on. Let’s get the chess pieces and finish up this Initiation. Maybe we can fight something along the way!”

Ruby already started dashing through the forest, and Weiss gave chase.

Weiss couldn’t help but laugh at the sudden switch in demeanor.

What a strange girl.

#ruby rose #jaune arc #weiss schnee #rwby fic #becoming au #rwby au #rwby #mod lilac #little-voice-the-parasprite

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oh-for-fic-sake · 4 years

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Trophy Chapter Eight

Masterlist

You become confused and start to question your feelings whilst Henry tries to be romantic but Stephan manages to fuck things up.

Warnings: Obsessive Behaviour, Implied Smut, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of Torture, Dark themes, Yandere, Swearing, Daddy kink, Spanking threats, Angst?, Violence, Dark fluff(even I don't bloody know)

A/n: its quater past 11....I should be sleeping...my cat is littarily meowing at me to got to sleep but im not so here have chapter eight!!! so this chapter is mostly plot no smut unfortunately but the next one will be 1000٪. I have finally finally got the entire plot to this fic finished and written, I actually have some scenes for the next three chapters done to! But as I said mainly plot I intendedthis to be a little confusing from y/n perspective I want you to get a sense of what y/n is going through juggling her feelings and all that apart from that I really hope you enjoy this one xx

Taglist: @havenoffandoms @aphrodites-punch @charlieferret @thatgirly81 @two-unbeatable-beaters @fitnees-motivation-2020 @viking-raider @iloveyouyen @black-ninja-blade

Gif not mine but the divider is xxx

Stephan was at a loss, sitting in the cheap b and b room he rented, papers strewn across the floral bed spread he had been going through his contacts agents. Friends. Investigative journalists. Anyone and everyone he could think of hoping someone somewhere would give him a break, a lead something anything! A way for him to distract Henry enough so he could slip you away from him. Fuck sake at this point he'd pull him in for a fucking parking violation just to get this barstard alone in a room for five minutes!! But no one was willing to help they were all in until the name Cavill was mentioned. He couldnt really blame them Cavill did two things to people who investigated him ruined them or off'd them.

Just last week another agent who'd been working undercover as one of the handlers of his prostitutes was found by the bay death by necklacing. A grusome death something he hadn't seen used in America before, usually it was a shooting or stabbing, necklacing was a brutal ,loud and mostly used in places like Africa and Brazil. Execution and torture all in one. It may be one of the cruelest ways to kill someone but it was in all honesty simple to do, hell anyone could do it which is why they couldn't pin it on Henry specifically, hands bound to your chest; in this case with wire and a tire full of petrol placed over you holding them still trapping them, doused in more petrol and set alight. Its a slow agonizing death that takes around twenty minutes, her screams would have been loud but no one in the area had heard or see a thing he bet they had and were just to frightened. He couldn't blame them he saw the girl before she'd been taken off to autopsy, agents; professional, trained to deal with anything agents,onscene were being physically sick from the sight and smell unused to this type of violence. The poor agent had suffered even before that. Autopsy showed she had been raped beforehand she was described as cut and torn up in the report, but they must have used condoms of some description as there wasn't any dna evidence. Or if there was it had been burned away like her charred skin, her body had been in such a bad way that there was nothing to go on. Without evidence they can't charge or formally question a suspect.

Safe to say everyone was shaken up, some left completley requested reassignment and all the ones who came before him were either dead of terrified of the man. Not only that word of Stephans fuck up had got out and he was now a laughing stock. Stephan was supposed to be a honey trap, go undercover seduce a woman of intrest to do one of two things one, prob for information, if she had some great! Stay and use it and If she didnt dump her move on to the next job simple Or two, find a woman to maintain a close connection to the target in this case that was you. It was believed that there was a connection between you and Cavill.

The mobster out of the blue was trying to buy a block of flats in a shitty area. Now Cavill owned property, lots of property but never flats and never on that type of estate. He owned fancy restaurants and night clubs stupidly high class bars that had dress codes and the residential properties were allways four beroom three bathroom houses worth millions with fucking suanas and shit. Bottom line it was out of character and the man was trying to rush through the sale. The higher ups had hoped with the way he was acting; so out of character and flustered, that he would fuck up. He a mobster kingpin with litteraly billions to his name was trying to buy a building that was falling apart, in a run down poor area, wasn't for sale and was willing to skip negotiations and overpay...

The only possible connection to it all was you. They knew Fletcher had dealings with Henry and knew Henry used the cafe for his smaller business meetings. That was the most infuriating thing they knew so much but they just couldn't prove it!. So Stephan was called in to see if you was privvy to Henry and his empire and if you was willing to be an informant. Simple. Until it wasn't and feelings got involved. He wasn't supposed to fall for you but he had and that had cost him the assignment. He was supposed to drop it but he wont, so he had to sniff around himself he knew Henry kidnapped you, he knew Fletcher set it up and he knew he was going to save you. With that in mind he decided to do something he never even dreamed. Stephan was going to go rouge.

Henry was content albeit impatient, he waited at the bottom of the stairs waited for you his wonderful little princess. He had arranged a night out in one of his top restaurants, he figured now that you were here willingly he could begin to spoil you, lavish you with the luxury you deserved and you had been good these past days you deserved a treat. Tonight was about showing you just what it means to be his, the respect, the glitz and glamour. He was hoping that he could begin to sway you more, he knew you were questioning youself and him, his intentions and as you were questioning he saw a change you were more compliant. He paced slowly his head of security Luke was there beside him stiff as a board, Luke thought it was a mistake flaunting you around so early. But Luke could go fuck himself, Luke was not in charge and Luke should keep his opinions to himself.

Henry was begining to get tired of the mans bitching it was clear that his head of security had something against his sweet pet. It may have been the fact that Henry; seeing the bruises on your wrists after your escape that was definitely not made from handcuffs, had investigated and watched the security footage seeing the way the gruff man had manhandled you dragged you through the house after taunting you, thrown you into your day room on the day you'd escaped. Yes Henry ha found out and promised the man a grizzley end if it ever happened again. The only man to leave marks on your soft skin was him. Luke was bitter over the fact you'd escaped further then the garden on his watch, well thats what Henry put it down to.

"If you sigh again I will stop you breathing altogether!" He finally snapped over his shoulder to the man.

"Sorry sir I just think-" Henry spun on his heel pointing at him.

"I dont pay you to think! I pay you to do as your fucking told! To protect our investments and you didnt! Incase you haven't noticed your on thin ice as it is, theres a line of others who would take your place in a heartbeat Luke so I suggest you start pulling your shit together unless you want an early retirement." The words were hissed a snarl he couldn't help the thrill that came from Luke's shocked fearfull look. Luke knew poeple didnt retire from his position, not the in the masive pay out and a sipping pinacolada on a sandy beach sense. The only retirement he would see is two foot wide and six foot deep if he was lucky. Henry watched steely eyes burning into the man before him, the guard finally looked away gulping nodding slowly.

"Y-yes sir..I will go make sure the car is ready" Henry smirked crossing his arms

"You do that! Be the most usefull thing you've done all day." Luke cringed at that but could say nothing he simply left the house out towards the drive shuting the door with a quiet click. Henry shook his head as he watched Luke descend the few step of the porch. He was going to have to do something about him soon.

He pulled his thoughts away from the dark path they had traveled and glanced at the stairs again then began his pacing from side to side once again looking at his the rolex upon his wrist. You were taking your time. Sighing he turned again looking expectantly at the stairs. Its not like you had to decide what to wear he had laid it out! He had done the hard bit all you had to do was hair and make up. He grunted making another lap of his choosen pace route. You better not be up there pouting, if you were he was going to be very annoyed. Five more minutes. He decided five minutes then he would go check and if you was being a little madam and pouting he would blister you ass with the belt at his waist and drag you out anyway dressed or not. He moved finally standing at the stairs hand gripping the banister in a white knuckle grip hissing through his teeth.

Then he heard it heels tapping on the marble floor slow and unsteady, you were coming. He held his breath waiting for you to turn the corner at the top of the landing. When you did he had to swallow dryly, you were a vision, stunning you were made to be on his arm there was no doubt about it. You made your way down the stairs trying not to topple over in the high heels, which you suspected he had put you in so you couldnt run. Well you could try but you have to unbuckle them first which would be a dead give away.

You'll admit the dress was beautiful and comfortable considering how figure hugging it was. A deep royal blue velvet ,thin spaghetti straps and a low open back stopping just at the swell of your bottom, the front had a soft swooping neckline showing a hint of the very top of your breasts. It was a fine choice, henry definitely had an eye for these things. Every outfit he put you in since being here was always well thought out and this was no exception. You had to be careful tonight, he had provided a dress, stockings garterbelt even jewellery and some new lipsticks! but no panties. It made you nervous, it was one thing to always be around the house in skirts with no undies but to go out? You had to be wary, the small mercy was that it was a knee length dress so hopefully no accidents. However that being said with how form fitting it was and the way it pushed up your boobs there was more chance of a nip slip then a lip slip.

There was a complete set of expensive looking Jewellery that each had been packed in blank leather jewellery boxes and was presented on purple velvet. The necklace was three long strings of diamonds one a choker then longer to your collar bone then the final resting just below your dress' neckline the middle string holding one single large diamond in the center, the weighty rock made you dread to think of the cost and matching small dangling earrings and a bracelet...And anklet he had insisted you to be head to toe in diamonds.

For your hair you had styled it up and away from your face in a sleek sophisticated look,your make up was light, you didnt want to go all out and make him think you were trying to impress him, although in some respects you did want to impress him but for now you would ignor that. You had settled for a light face of make up and one of your new lipsticks a dark nude shade between a peach and beige the last thing you wanted was for him to get angry about not putting in effort which was a real possibility with how the slightest things could trigger a mood swing.

You'd found the past week since you had....Assisted him in the livingroom something had changed, a subtle change at first. You found youself stealing quick glances and smiles at him, he had caught you staring a few times and winked making you flush and stutter. He still had his moments but it seemed your 'admission' of not wanting to leave and wanting to try to stay and fall in love with him had calmed him down significantly. Sure you'd been given a few punishments when he got insecure here and there. You had been finding yourself participating in all of the intimate moments he was forcing onto you, when you did things with him you could barely speak let alone think the throws of passion was an escape. To your own confusion and shame you now admitted to yourself you enjoyed him lathering you with attention it was becoming to easy to melt into his embrace, to tempting to kiss the man back and cuddle up to him as he soothed the burning prints he left across your skin. You were frightened at just how much you began to crave him and need him, you still tried resisting but it was few and far between. In reality you were giving in to him and you didnt exactly hate the change. despite everything it sill felt a little wrong to let him get his way but that bad feeling was becoming easier to ignore.

But don't get things wrong, you had no desire to stay here permanently you had just resigned yourself to it for the time being...You think things i your...Relationship were confusing at the moment you liked the man but hated how this had all come about. You tried reasoning that your feelings were changing in some sort of survival technique or something. That subconsciously you had to pacify him, make him believe you was slowly falling for him so he wouldn't hurt you or the ones you loved. But at this point you wasn't entirely sure. I mean if that were true and you did this all for Stephans life shouldnt you feel somthing for the agent. But in reality all you felt was abandoned and betrayed by him, but it didn't hurt not like the loos of a friend or lover as you thought it would have. Maybe you was just weird? or maybe you didn't really love him? What ever it was you was thankfull for it as you could concentrate more on yourself and what you had to do to get out of this alive, sane and single. You were not falling in love with this mad man no matter what he did and said you shouldnt fall for it you shouldnt fall for him. But you were slowly realising that just because you shouldn't didn't mean you wouldn't.

Henry's face lit up as you slowly made your way down the steps on wobbly feet unused to the heels that brought the top of your head up to his eye line. Seeing you struggling he smirked meeting you half way up the stairs linking his arm with yours. You flinched almost pulling back knowing you should but his grip was firm and you needed help. His voice was low and playful when he spoke.

"It seems you will need my help with walking tonight before you've even touched a drop of wine my love. Thats no matter, more of a reason for you to cling to me and I do enjoy you wrapped around me pet." You gave a quick glance, so you was in these ridiculous heels for a reason. You forced a smile letting go of the banister as he walked you down the stairs over to the door.

"You look stunning! I have the best table in the place reserved just for us but first" he moved spinning around you and just like a magic trick his hand appeared from behind him with a small ring box, he moved pulling up your left hand kissing the back of it. You shivered as he maintained eye contact feeling him smirk. You cursed yourself wanting to contorl your reactions but couldnt seem to. He spoke a cheeky grin his voice was playfull.

"Here something to complete the outfit I wont have my little girls hands bare~" You gulped as he pulled back the lid of the small box revealing an obnoxiously huge rock sat embedded in what looked like a silver but was most likely white gold band. You tugged at your hand and winced when he dug his thumb in your palm tugging your hand out hashly.

"Daddy! That's to much-I'm not one for rings please everything else is enough. " He blinked his face dropping.

"You don't like it? Whats wrong with it?" You eyed him carefully and shrugged.

"No-nothing I just..." he interrupted you growling at you scowling

"You don't want it? I had it made for you and now you don't even fucking want it? I just wanted to treat you baby? You've been so good and now your going to start acting up? When I'm trying to reward you for being so good. Just trying to have a quiet night out with you, I dont have to take you out, I could fucking keep you here day in day out" You could hear it, that of hectic insanity. Frantic undertones. You quickly shook your head.

"No no I want it! I do want it I'm just worried...It looks...Ive never had anything that looks that expensive" you moved forward to him placing a hand on his chest rubbing slightly, youd learned fast that initiating intimate gestures help calm him a little.

"I-i'm frightened that I'd upset you if I loose it especially if we dance..We are going to have our first slowdance tonight aren't we? I was hopeing we could..Tho people will laugh I've never danced like that before." It did the trick he calmed blinking slowly then beamed at you.

"Oh little one thats sweet of you to worry about daddys feelings like that..But baby I wont be upset if you lost it Id just get you another one pet... Now come here and keep still like a good girl" you sighed in relief as he calmed down you cringed and twisted your hand as he tried to place it on your ring finger, his eyes flicked up to you in warning.

"Its...thats bad luck I'd rather not.." he grunted and took your right hand placing it on your ring finger. You shuddered as you realised it fit perfectly. He moved back placing one parting kiss.

"That is your first warning tonight, daddy doesn't want any games...You ruin tonight and I will be very displeased and you will not like the outcome" you nodded takig a breath.

"Y-yes daddy I understand...I'll be good" he gave a quick look.

"You better now lets go" you released a breath tho calmer he wasn't happy youd argued, disagreed you wasnt supposed to do that.

Henry playing the part of a gentleman opened the door to the car for you. Once inside he set off out of the gate, you shivered a little trying not to glance at him. He moved his hand to your leg patting it softly rubbing the soft nylon of the stockings he groaned subtly to himself as he continued down the road, you cringed a little moving to pull the hem of the dress down not wanting him to take advantage of the rising skirt and your bare pussy merely inches above. He squeezed lightly feeling you tug the fabric down under his palm cutting off the contact. He rolled his eyes biting his lip to stop the comments on the tip of his tongue. No he wont ruin this night before its begun, anything that happens he can rectify later when you were restrained and withering one your final treat. He licked his lips as he thought about the nights festivities and hopefully what the outcome will be. He was pulled from his devious thoughts when you wriggled uncomfortably still trying to get used to wearing half a set of underwear... And lets face it stockings and garter belts aren't exactly the norm any way. It was after ten minutes of sighing, huffing and squirming that he spoke pulling you out of your thoughts.

"Whats the matter little one?" you snapped you head to him and smiled going to brush him off he removed his hand from your leg wagging a finger.

"Ah ah come on no lying that will be your second warning and we aren't even there yet~" you closed your mouth giving him a heavy pout he rose an eyebrow letting his hand land back in your lap.

"Its...Well I've never...I'm getting used to the stockings...Never worn them before and its strange under the dress...especially not having any panties on....I'm covered but not " he through his head back and laughed as he pulled up to a red light.

"Oh love! you should have said baby...I thought you were having a paddy! I was getting ready to take you back home and tann your naughty backside with my belt." you snapped your head in his direction gulping knowing full well he would have.

"Oh little one don't be so tense..I promise tonight I'm going to spoil you this is a treat baby girl a night of fine food, fine wine and even finer company" you smiled forgetting your underwear situation for a moment twiddling your new bracelet wanting to take your mind off things. You were going to try and enjoy the night try and forget everything just for one night. You smiled up at him shyly.

"I'm looking forward to it..But I get the feeling your taking me somwhere fancy and I've neve done fancy... think the fanciest place I've been is your house"he chuckled looking forward to the road cheking the lights then moved to face you.

"Our...Its our house pet you live there to now remember.. and don't worry I own the place so no one will say anything if you make a little slip up...Okay little one and if anyone does upset you ,you tell me straight away..I wont have my babygirls night ruined by anyone" you didn't want his words to effect you but they did, the idea of him caring enough to make sure you enjoy the night was sweet.

"Y-you mean it?" he nodded giving the lights another quick glance then focused back on you

"Of course! tonight is all about spoiling my number one! you can have anything you want and that includes a doggy bag of deserts to bring home" you smiled at him hopefully giggling.

"Deserts sound good! I'm excited now do they have cheesecake?" he pursed his lips thinking for a second wanting to prolong your cheerful mood.

"Yes, three kinds and I assume you'll be having a slice of each?" you nodded at him with a cheeky grin, Henry smirked at you leaning in playfully tucking his hand by your knee tickling the back making you giggle and squirm pushing at him.

"Well my love three slices..Now that is a big ask and deserves a pre-payment I think...Three kisses should suffice" you grinned shaking your head at him and squealed as he leaned over playfully growling stealing three sweet kisses then leaned back in his seat , he was gobsmacked when youd followed him placing a peck against his cheek. You froze realizing what you did and jumped back holding your lips in surprize. What the fuck was that? He smirked moving the car into drive as the light changed. You righted yourself in the seat leaning back choosing to forget that little slip up. But still felt optimistic maybe tonight would be a fun night out even if it was with Henry.

YES! it had paid off, a few days he had spent watching waiting but finally there was movement. he had been waiting here at the main road leading to the mobsters house. Parked next to a motel mainly used by truckers who stayed overnight, Stephan quickly climbed to the front seat of the car watching as the Aston martin drove past him, not just any Aston martin Henry's Aston martin, the only custom db11 in the city. He quickly pulled his binoculars out to see...Fuck yes!...He couldn't believe his luck! you were in the passenger seat and dolled up... He took a breath you looked incredible and to his utter despair and confusion you looked happy?.

Henry stopped at the intersection Stephan fumed as Henry laughed at something you said then moved his hand out of sight making you roll your eyes and press him away playfully laughing he didn't pull back instead he quickly leaned over kissing you, and the thing that cut Stephan most was that you let him, you seemed to enjoy his attention. Stephan's heart clenched seeing you like that, you were supposed to hate him...You were a captive. You couldn't possibly like the man could you?. He shook his head of course you didn't a mad man like henry? you were playing a part, hopefully a part that you could retire from tonight. He flicked on the ignition throwing down his binoculars if he could follow you both...If he could get in he had a chance, could give you a chance to escape! he could save you.

He took a second watching again as you moved you were smiling giving him a quick peck, he couldn't bare to watch anymore he closed his eyes gripping the steering wheel tight swearing. Could he be to late? He loathed to think of just what he had put in your head what he could have convinced you to do. The light turned green and car pulled away, he waited a few seconds then pulled out making sure not to be to close or be caught by the lights. It only took the disgraced agent around fifteen minuets to realize where you were being taken. It would seem Henry was taking you on a date? trying to romance you, wine and dine you but then what? there had to be a reason, and ulterior motive. Stephan held back watching as the Aston martin pulled around the front of the hotel, Henry exited the car and walked around holding your door for you. He felt a rush of anger as Henry helped you out of the car then tossed the keys across the car to the valet. Stephan stared gulping, you really did look amazing even if you were struggling to stand in shoes he knew you wouldn't have been caught dead in if you had a say. He must have forced you in to them, so he could have you wrapped around him, leaning and clutching at him as you wobbled about unsteady. His blood boiled as Henry moved offering you his arm when you took it he felt..betrayed almost asking himself if you were worth it now, it looked like Henry had got to you. He seethed watching you climb the few stairs to the hotel entrance linking arms with your captor ,you looked up at the mad man smiling nodding as he spoke completely at ease.

Something was very wrong with this image, a kidnapped woman going out on the town with her kidnapper? on what looked like a romantic date?. You hadn't seemed like one of those shallow golddiggers who'd do anything for a bit of bling or money, but Stephan couldn't help but wonder to himself at that point. You looked happy if not a little nervous? shy? you looked like a love struck teenager. But Stephan couldn't help himself he couldn't doubt you, you needed him to get you out, to save you. You needed him to try. He moved pulling the car around the back, thankfully as this was a hotel people were coming and going all the time so it'd be easy enough to get in, he was coming for you. Tonight he will save you and it will look like nothing more then a lovers spat! a perfectly realistic situation that would have no repercusions. Once he had you, you could testify against the mobster and this would all be over. Henry would finally be behind bars where he belongs.

You took a breath seeing the long line of people waiting to get in the restaurant each in expensive looking glad rags,you tucked your head down akwardly as Henry strode past the long line of people each making a fuss at the two of you. Some did not knowing just who the man on your arm was. Henry cut to the front interrupting the guest at the front.

"Is everthing ready?" His voice was bored as a woman quickly scampered over ready to let the owner in much to the anger of the other guest. The two at the front tried capturing his attention to give him a piece of their mind but Henry ignored them.

It wasn't long before you were in the high end restaurant in one of the towns two five star hotels that he owned. It was nice the restaurant was about fifteen stories up a dark blue almost black marble looking floor, tables all coverd with pure white table clothes that felt like some stupid 800 thread count material ,high back black leather chairs ,single white roses and candles on each table dotted around. The focal point was a huge wall with intergrated tropical fishtank that seperated the regular tables and vip area which was raised slightly. The set up was split in two, one half all centred around useing the veiw courtesy of the floor to ceiling windows looking over the town the other half had the fish tank to look at..It was clever really the fishtank gave you a faux sense of privacy a perfect divider that let light flow to the other half of the seating area.

Henry walked you straight past the fish tank to a high private table in the corner of the vip area a huge bouquet of roses sat on the table.

"For you babygirl" you couldn't help but smile brightly as he slid them to you. You leaned in smelling the roses slowly running your finger across the curve of the soft petals your heart warmed and for a moment you truley felt... Special? Cherished?.

You cast a sweeping gaze across the seating area admiring it whilst empty knowing it wont be for long, it was the most expensive place you'd ever been to eat. As you looked around you noticed that the other geusts were slowly trickling in being seated by smartly dressed servers. You looked slower taking in the decor more carfully. Henry wasnt lying when he said the table was the best in the place it had a uninterrupted veiw of the city and the restaurant.

"You like it?" You nodded looking around the decor was black and gold giving a art decor gatsby vibe. He moved pulling out your chair letting sit then sat himself across from you smileing as you pulled the roses across the table placing then on the corner out of the way blushing.

"Yes I was right it is a fancy place...A little daunting but exciting...And I can't wait for my cheesecake its my favourit and I haven't had it in sooo long!"

"Any thing for you my little one...But only good little girls who eat all their dinner get a desert you know that...ah ah no pouting!"

"But tonight's supposed to be a treat daddy" he gave you a stern look across the table at your pouting

"Yes and if your a good girl and ask nicely we would eat out like this everyday, but you were naughty to begin with and daddy has to be strict and have lots of rules...And one of those rules is no desert before dinner now enough pouting don't be ungrateful" you blushed stupidly enough you agreed with him in a way you'd come to enjoy some of his rules, they made you feel...accomplished in a way youd never experienced before, you had something to work to and when you did as he asked he praised you which always made a warmth in your chest blossom. You tucked your nose in a rose you'd plucked from your bouquet grinning softly.

"Im sorry Daddy...Thank you for the roses they are very beautiful" he smiled holding his arms out in a exasperated gesture tilting his head for emphasis

"Well at least you will accept flowers with out a fuss little one...Thats one thing I can now be sure of" You looked down still feeling scolded even if his tone was light you cursed the feeling in your chest. Like rocks had been stuffed in your ribcage making your chest heavy, he was obviously still bitter about the ring you could tellfrom how pissy he was being. You fidgeted worrying just what that would mean for you during the night.

Almost immediately after you sat down you were served a sweet smelling dark wine by a fairly handsome man who popped the cork with ease handing it to Henry whilst giving you a nervous smile you smiled back to him unaware of Henry's face turning sour he nodded and gave the young man a gruff grunt to proceed, the wine was acceptable apparently you watched as the server moved pouring you out a half glass with shaking hands well aware of Henry who was glaring daggers at him ,you smiled to thanking him. Henry must have taken it wrong as he snarled a 'fuck off' at the man who quickly placed the bottle on the table and practically ran out of sight.

"Hen- da I...what was?...I was just being polite please can we just enjoy ourselves...Please." he sat back regarding you one elbow on the arm of his chair twiddling his fingers, his gaze was unerving. He paid no mind to a waitress placing a bottle of bourbon and a glass finally he clicked his tongue smirking enjoying makeing you squirm. He smiled quickly leaning over pouring his own drink casually.

"I'd be carefull pet, you've got one warning left tonight it'd be a shame to have to reprimand you here and trust me daddy has no qualms of upending you on this table and giving you a sound thrashing" you jolted opening your mouth unable to find any words you settled on nodding quietly sipping at you drink meekly he rolled his fingers in a smooth motion until it was a loose fist.

"Answer me pet you know I hate you ignoring me unless you want to be made an example of here? want everyone to see your cute little bottom turned pink over daddy's lap as you kick and squirm like a naughty little girl" you squinted your eyes cheeks tniging pink at his words, deciding it was best not to test him you quickly slapped the drink down a few drops jumped from the glass staining the crisp white table cloth. You froze watching the dark liquid seep across the fibers.

"I-I'm sor-ry please I didn't mean-" you panicked and began begging looked up and could have cried for some reason he was keeping you on edge tonight more so than usual. He was smiling playfully into the rim of his glass, he had been toying with you...had he? you had hoped you knew his mind games but he was in an unpredictable mood tonight.

He moved slowly plucking the menu curling a finger calling a waitress over and ordered for the both of you. You sat twiddling your fingers unsure of what to do, he had seemed happy in the car but in here...It was like he wanted to keep you on a short leash, make you understand although you were out having a treat you were not free to do as you pleased. You settled on people watching moving to get a view of the other couples, they smiled and curled around one another so happy in love. Free.

You looked down blinking away tears, was this worse? Being out and seeing what you'd never have? In the house you could ignore it but here watching them be so genuine. No matter how much you fell at this mans feet you'd never have that freedom to feel, to be so careless in your love. You'd always be controlled be pressed into what ever made him happy...

Your purpose was to make this beautiful monster happy. But you'd agreed, was it wrong to let yourself go under? To fully succumb to his dominance and try to enjoy him. To find comfort in him and accept him as the beautiful yet cruel man he was?you would have to eventually so why wait? It'd save you heat ache in the end. And as the days blurred into weeks and months you knew that it would be easy. He was vindictive and spite full. He was ruthless and cunning yet to you he was almost kind, it would be easier if you swallowed your pride and let yourself fall for him. Life would be easier and you was slowly accepting that it was the obvious choice, you moved casting a glance at the couples around you. Could that be you? Could you have that happiness in the end with him? the frightening thig was. Yes. you could already feel that your feelings were changing slowly but surely, were you in love with him? no did you care for him? Yes.

You hadn't realised he moved until he had made his way arohnd the table holding ut a hand palm up below your down turned face. You jumped snapping your head up confused he furrowed his brows slightly pressing a hand to your cheek wiping away a few stray tears.

"Dont cry pet...Not here no one should see your tears but me, no one should put them there but me. Here come on take my hand" you quickly moved wiping them away once your face was free of tears he grasped your hand. Pulling you up slowly, you followed docile as he pulled you towards a large dancefloor at the back of you space just behinde the bar. You saw there were a few couples were already slow dancing you tensed.

He spun round to face you as the song changed to one you recognized, No peace by Sam Smith played loud yet soft through the speakers it was one of our favourite's but this time the words had a much deeper meaning. He held your back his palm hot against the bare skin he stepped forward pulling your hand up near his shoulder you held him softly. Swaying slowly you'r eyes darted around eyes were on you from those who knew Henry, guests and staff alike.

"Look at me...Forget them little one they are just curious its rare for them to see such elegance up close, and I must say you look divine...More of a little lady then a little girl" you flushed at the compliment trying to follow his skilled movements as he placed his feet expertly without a thought to it as he spun you around in smooth steps across the floor, you swore looking at your feet as you stepped wrong capturing his toes. He chuckled and lifted you effortlessly off his foot an inch or so and placed you back to the floor

"Sorry..I don't mean to..I've never danced like this before...Not very good on a normal dance floor and I'm ten times worse at this, these heels aren't helping...I must look like fucking bambi on ice" he chuckled smoothing his thumb across the skin of your back. Enjoying the backless dress pressing his hands into you feeling your shivers the ripples across your back as he smothered you in his huge frame, letting you feel small in his embrace. He quickly and subtly lifted you up once again as you nearly stood on him again.

"Bambi is a very fitting name I may steal that one" you gave a shy smile smirked spinning you aubruptly then pulled you back skillfully tugging you a little closer. He tilted his head down talking in a hushed baritone voice.

"Your doing fine...Just let daddy lead, daddy will look after you I promise" you gulped and nodded he spun you again this time making sure your bodys touched, slipping his feet between yours using them to move yours guiding your steps.

He settled you to him as he moved prompting you to lay your head on his shoulder he spun you both slowly bringing you near the center of the floor to make sue no one bumped into you. You sighed humming along quietly whispering the lyrics suddenly there was a lump in your throat you swallowed hard pressing your head into his neck. It looked intimate. It was intimate. You listened as he picked up where you left off humming he lyrice into your ear low and relaxing. You whined moving your hands holding him around the neck breathing a shaky breath into his neck. He moved pressing a sweet kiss to your head song changed and you was thankful, pulling your head up to see his eyes staring at you there was a fondness he gave a lopsided grin.

"Are you okay my love? Your very tearful tonight." You blinked shaking your head at him.

"I'm..C-Can I speak truthfully....without?.." he tensed as you trailed off, you wanted to speak freely without consequences. He mulled over the idea unsure if he should shoot you down, he decided against it if he halted you now you may never be honest with him again. He nodded to you giving you his undivided attention as he slowdance with you in the crowd. You took a deep breath unsure if it was the right time to have this conversation. He had given you permision but you will still be careful with your words.

"I'm confused... You confuse me Henry...Being here like this I..."You looked to the other couples wistfully then back to him.

"I want that...I want that love that freedom and...And I...We feel like a couple ,like we could be a normal couple like them ,but you frighten me, the things you say and do and I...I'm unsure of whats right and wrong now...Normal couples don't do what we do they dont threaten spanking's on dates!" he hummed in response mulling over your words for a few breaths, could everythinghave been his fault? You didnt understand the type of relationship he had with you therefor you dont know what he wants from you or what to expect, is that confusion why you were fighting so hard?

"I'd hoped you were finally accepting things now. I'm glad you were honest with me about being confused love and I'm proud of you. We feel like a couple because we are.... But normal? No we are not we are a bdsm couple, we live a bdsm lifestyle which suits both of us. Your mine and I am yours we are soulmates. You are just finally catching up to that and soon we will feel like this all the time, this happiness this relaxed and playful. I know its all still quite new now but soon you will be used to me being your lover, your daddy, your dominant ,your one and only and in time I will be your husband and father to your children. We will be like this for the rest of our lives. I apologize that I'm only just explaining this now and I can see why you were so reluctant and scared going form a normal vanilla and quite innocent relationship to being in this...very strict and quite demanding, sexually fueled one can be daunting. I was just so caught up wishing you would ajust quicker but matters of the heart can't be rushed and now I see that is what I was trying to do. I am content for now. Soon this will be normal, the jewellery the luxury anything you desire will be yours when you finally admit to loveing me back, when you succumb to your true feelings." He moved looking to the others around you then back to you smiling.

"You will be just as happy as them..If not more you will be the most treasured and spoilt woman in the city, the world even I promise and when that day comes you will make me the happiest man on the planet" he moved solidifying his statment with a kiss, a promise he words sounded like vows in itself. You sighed and pulled back he took a deep breath as you did.

"I'm trying I...Its a lot to take in and I'm glad I spoke to you...I think I understand a little more now...Your You dont mean to frighten me you just...Get excited? okay I can live with that...I've never been in love before its frightening" he smiled twisting you around pulling your back to his front holding you close placing a kiss to your shoulder.

"I know you are trying love, what do you think this is tonight? This is your reward for your week of good behaviour. I am patient I will wait for you neither of us are going anywhere. And in the end everything will be worth it you'll see"

You stood stock still freezing as you looked out into the now full restaurant.You spoke as you cast your eyes to the male in the crowd. He was glaring at you making your chest go cold.No. What did he see? What will he think? You dropped you hands from henry's arms your breath was a whisper.

"Stephan?" Henry brought his head up abruptly going rigid he hands wrapping around your waist tighter almost painfull as if you was going to run to the other male. He looked around growling low and dangerous searching for him finally he honed in on him. Was hair dye all someone needed to bypass his men? He seethed as you trembled in his arms he held his breath. Moving closer to your ear.

"You want him? you want to run to him? Do you? You can I will let you but he will be dead before you touch him!" His words were a hot hiss in your ear.

"No...I-I want him gone" the words were out befor you could catch them he hissed in your ear.

"Y-You what?" he turned you abruptly trying to sniff out a lie but you just held his gaze firm he swallowed his mouth going dry he covered his shock well then glared

"We will see...Come lets go see our dear Stephan shall we?" You tried struggled to keep up but he continued storming across the floor toward him. Henry half dragged half marched you through the dancing couples as you staggered in the stupid fucking shoes!. He turned to you slowly as you gained on Stephan who either bravely or stupidly stood his ground. Your heart beat faster tho you was unsure why you were worried but for who you couldn't say.

"Just remember our arrangement and he will leave here alive" you took a deep breath humming in response before hissing out an answer.

"I'm not leaving Henry" After what felt like an eternity to stood face to face with him, the one you could have seen yourself with on the arm of the man you were forced to be with.

"Y/n..." you looked to him blinking slowly

"Leave" you had to do it, to send him away Henry would hurt him. You wasn't sure if you were just saying that or not, maybe you wanted to stay with Henry. But that was a thought for another day.You swallowed standing tall looking straight at him, you will not have this mans blood on your hands and you will not be used by him again you had enough sorting out your own shit and trying to figure out Henry at this point Stephan could go fuck himself you will forget him.

Stephan, Fletcher and Henry all three were the cause of this. It was a mans game and youd somehow become a pawn for all three. You had to choose a side.

"Yes I think you should leave, this is reservation only I'm afraid." Henrys words had a bite to them anyone watching would assume Henry was just dealing with a gate crasher, no one other then the three of you would know how truley volatile the situation was.

"You? No..y/n I'm here for you! To take you back! Please I'm sorry give me one last chance? I love you baby I can't live with out you please?" You froze everything stopped what was he doing? What the fuck was he doing? Making a scene people watched as Stephan made a wild plea for you to take him back. He made a perfect storm, a brilliant and well thought out display.

Henry tensed holding you. You could feel it he wasn't prepared for this. Had Stephan just out witted the king himself in his own building. You held your breath unsure of what to do If he had was there a chance?. Could this be it? Your escape even if you didnt love stephan could you use this ruse to get away? To go into some form of witness protection?

"Ha! Honestly Stephan you think she hasn't heard?" You took a step back to Henry holding his wrist. No you wont take that chance not now. You have to settle, to just accept your lot with Henry for your own sanity. You had only moments ago realised where you stood and now had some understanding of what this was!. And if you was honest with your self you wasn't willing to trust Stephan he was to little to late.

"You've lost your job, your home everything! What could you possibly offer her? Safety? Please" you faltered at Henry's words were all but laughed out mocking. He lost his job? If so it wasn't safe you picked up on the hidden meaning to his words. You would not be safe. Stephan would not be safe. Not if you took this chance.

You placed a hand to Henry's chest and swallowed your throat closed up as tears sprang to your eyes. You looked stephan dead in the eye his face dropped. He knew. Before he could speak another word you gave your answer through trembling lips.

"I-I said leave! Your a liar! You played me I was a job Stephan and I will not be used again...Leave and don't ever come back. I-I'm with Henry now, we are happy and planning a future and I don't need you around trying to ruin what we have." You shuddered tears rolling down your face. Henry pulled you closer, you just hoped Stephan realized that you did this of our own accord, that henry was giving you a choice and the fact of the matter is you chose this beautiful dastardly man.You had to turn away from him tucking yourself into Henry's side.

"You heard the lady, she chose me now leave" 'while you can' those three words went without saying, hanging in the air. Stephan stood his ground trying to plead with you that he had somewhere to take you, somewhere safe but you just shook your head.

"No! I dont want you! I dont need you! Im happy with how things are and I can't believe youxd do this after all this time?!" You were trying to get through that he was to late the damage was done and youd already made up your mind, your reasons were unclear even to you but he doesnt need to know that all he needed to know was that you were staying exactly where you were.

"But baby you don't understand I was trying-" you shook your head at him desperately wanting hi to stop youd made your decision.

"Enough! Stephan...Ive moved on its to late now go! And dont ever look for me again!" You moved wanting those to be your final words. You turned your back on stephan and looked up to Henry and leaned in to him whispered below your breath.

"Make him leave, please daddy" Henry felt a warmth spread through him as you made the request. You wanted him to intervene to make this boy leave. He would definatly help, protect his babygirl. He acted quickly.

"Security! See to stephan here escort him out" you tore your head up watching as three men apprehended him dragging him through the space to the entrance whre he was destined after that you didn't know. You took a deep breath looking around slowly everyones eyes were on you. Henry growled and snapped at them making the restaurant begin the nights festivities. You stood hugging him a few seconds more then pulled you back slowly.

"Good girl...Such a good girl you did the right thing. My little love. The right thing." He pulled you in pressing his lips against yours slowly not forcing anything just happy to let you remain there in his arms. He moved slowly escorting ou back to yur table where a waitress brought out your meal after a few moments.

After the incident you found it hard to relax and only did so once back home. The rest of the night was overshadowed by it dread rolled in your stomach Henry was tense. And that normally meant bad things for you. If henry was angry with you he hid it well through dinner and you both tried salvaging the evening in your own ways. But even hree slices of cheesecake couldnt lift your spirits completely.

Once in the house he slammed the front door it echoed down the halls. You flinched and turned to him But he bypassed you and shouted loudly into the house standing tall shoulders back he was itching for a fight ou could tell he wanted to break somehing. Someone.

"LUKE GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OUT HERE!" Within a few short moments Luke came running stuttering.

"Hen-Sir I didn't know but we have him in-" he was knocked clean off his feet as Henry swung for him. No warning nothing just one fast powerfull fist connecting with his jaw. You screamed jumping back, the commotion got kals attention as the huge dog came barreling in to the foyer barking and growling on the defensive. You ignored the usually sweet now frightening canine watching the scene before you unfold shaking head to toe. Youd never seen henry hit someone before...not like that, he meant that he wanted to cause real damage then.Once his victim was on the floor he crouched wagging a finger at him.

"Hair dye...Thats all he needed to avoid you....your really loosing your touch about as quickly as I'm loosing fucking patience....This fuck up, your fuck up ruined my night! What was supposed to be our first date down the fucking drain because you let it slip A-FUCKING-GAIN! I don't care where he is, infact I don't want you to tell me but you get the info out of him and release him...Do not kill him" Henry stood at his full height hissing looking to you then clenched his jaw. Brilliant! Fucking brilliant you were shaking in terror just how he wanted the fucking night to end! Not! He sighed running a hand acros his face then looked to the man still on the floor.

"Tell me that you've atleast set the room up for us and this night isn't a complete waste" the man on the floor nodded cupping his jaw that was hanging at a funny angle it looked broken. You tensed Henry was powerful muh more powerull then he looked.Henry sighed he didnt move he didnt want you to bolt.

"Love... I'm sorry I just...i know its scary but you know daddy would never ever hurt you...Not truley, please love stop looking at me like that... Could you come here please?....That's it good girl I'm sorry little one good girl just like that" you moved slowly past the man withering on the floor. And stood before Henry it took everything not to flinch from him as he moved to hold your waist and made his way to the stairs pulling you with him. You didn't fight him, you were scared stiff you doubted that even kal would protect you from his master. He walked you right up stairs to the bed room you winced seeing that things were out...Toys. He moved past you huffing and swearing leaving you to just stand and wait. He made his way into the bathroom tense he was angry, furious even. You shook unsure how to tread it had been a while since he was this angry and you wasn't sure who he was angry at. You, stephan or luke...You hoped it wasnt you.

You leaned on the dresser undoing the buckles on your shoes sighing once the sore soles of your feet hit the cool floor. You looked to the bed the sheets were changed. A dark purple satin with matching pillow cases a single black rose on your side of the bed and petals scattered about the place. It was romantic. Well until you saw the contraptions attached to the chair facing the bed which was intended for you to be placed upon. A large purple cilindrycal arch placed on the seat and..Well there was a very satisfying looking dildo sticking right up in the center and a small bobble textured silicone mat just in front of it, there were cuffs attached to the two back legs of the chair that would make the 'toy' take your weight you shivered unsure if you wanted to do this is he was in a mood. You shook your head best get to work calming him down.

You moved slowly to the bathroom he was hunched over the sink he looked up meeting your gaze in the mirror. you blinked moving behinde him hugging him from behind he froze in your arms hands still braced on the marble.

"Thank you daddy...tonight was fun even if he tried to ruin it" you pressed a kiss to his shoulder. He turned abruptly grasping your chin making you look in his eyes.

"You..you had fun..I thought you was upset?" you shook your head at him he sounded angry but you'd thought it was at you aparently not.

"Of course it was our first date...and we had our first dance I just...I wanted you to know that I'm greatfull" he blinked shaking you

"LIES! How could you possibly? you wanted to go with him! to leave me! I LOVE YOU I FUCKING ADORE YOU AND YOU STILL WANT TO LEAVE ME! WHY? WHY DO YOU FUCK AROUND LIKE THIS? WHY DO YOU TRY TO MANIPULATE ME? MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME IM YOUR LOVER YOUR SOULMATE! IS THAT NOT ENOUGH?!" you screamed struggling as his nails broke the skin of your arms."NO!-NO PLEASE I DIDN'T- I WASN'T PLEASE DADDY DON'T!" you cried out loud trying to grab him as he spun you around slamming you to the door making it close with a slam the sound ringing in your ear

"ADMIT IT! ADMIT TO ME WHAT YOU REALLY WANTED! YOU WANTED HIM YOU WANT HIM!" you shuddered as his eyes searched yours but found only tears you shook your head trying to pull back from him.

"P-ple-ease your hurting me..Daddy I'm here with you-I chose you. I-I want you daddy, pl-please let go" your crying seemed to get more out of control as you now struggled to speak breathing was difficult. He blinked your painfull whimpers cuting him deep as he realized he was the cause. It snapped him out of it as he saw that he had infact hurt you he let go taking heaving breaths.

He expected you to run but all you did was stay still sobbing your heart out before him clutching your bleeding arms. he moved a hand to you you managed not to flinch but he could see it you wanted to. You wanted to run from him. He swore and quickly wrapped you in his arms.

"Oh my god my love, my heart I'm sorry..I'm so sorry love please shush its okay your okay...shh shh I'm sorry daddy is here, come here my baby..My sweet sweet girl" he pulled you close and just like that he was soothing you again rubbing your back. you trembled and clutched onto him sobbing he took a deep breath.

"I-I'm s-sorry But I didn't I didn't want to go...I wanted to stay with you...He lied he used me im here..I decided to stay with you" he closed his eyes he knew you were coming around. He was just so angry. At Luke at Stephan and at himself. He had fucked up from word one he knew that. This wasn't the plan. He had so desperatly wanted to make tonight THE night. The meal and danceing having fun then bring you back to a romantic room and make love to you. To get your consent, to toy with you untill you were dripping begging for him and finally. finally spend himself inside you. And wake up tomorrow morning with you wrapped around him happy. tonight was supposed to be the first night of the rest of your lives. the introduction to your new life.but now that seemed the last thing that was going to happen, after manhandeling you like that he was sure you were now going to try and reject him completely. that this whole shit show was going to set the relationship back a good few weeks. you looked up cutely blushing.

"The..The bedroom is sweet...I like the sheets and...And the roses its romantic" he smiled down at you seeing that you was trying to overcome the little spat. He hummed grinning rubbing his hands across your back slowly feeling you unwind.

"You did ,did you? well I shall remember that" you opened you mouth then closed it slowly

"What is it? you looked like you was going to ask something very important then little one" you shuddered squirming under his gaze he noted you rubbing your thighs together.

"W-what is that thing? I-in there on the chair?" he smiled at your innocence and began ushering you to move so he could open the door guiding you out.

"That my love is a gift..For you mostly but I will also get some enjoyment out of it..It is called a sybian...Just think of it as my little babygirls very own rocking horse." he chuckled noticing you froze on the spot, he pressed you forward making you take step towards it.

"It rocks?" Henry laughed moving you closer.

"No my little love it does not rock, I have no doubt however that you will be once your on it...Not tonight tho I've my outburst has ruined our night already" you blinked you couldn't help being curious of the thing you blinked tilting your head, you might aswell start enjoying yourself afterall tonight youd made it clear you was going to stay of your own accord maybe its time to just take a leap of faith.

"No I want a go...And you did say its mine and that youd spoil me tonight...I want to play on it" his jaw dropped. What? Were you seriously initiating sex? It was the first time you'd started anything or even showed any real interest. He gulped looking from you to the expensive vibrator then you again. Could him clarifying your relationship have caused this change? Or was there something more at work, were their feelings involved. He wasn't sure but not one to kick a gift horse in the mouth he smiled nodding making you blush brightly and move forward running the tips of your fingers over the slim dildo inspecting it naively. Oh yes the night was back on track and Henry couldn't be more thrilled.

#henry cavill fic #henry cavill imagine #henry cavill x reader #mob boss henry cavill #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x you #henry cavill x y/n #henry cavill is daddy #daddy henry cavill

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onf-headcanons · 3 years

Text

Another OFFICE AU aka CEO AU

A/n : Alas its not draft clearing but a brand new work for 2021 (but i still have some drafts as well)XD Hello, did any of you remember an idea dump I dropped for last year Christmas? you could easily guess which was it by tallying the mood board with the idea lists (*winks)

Setting :

1. OFFICE AU 2 , it is a brand new one where ONF member is a young CEO while you are his secretary. So I will name this one as CEO AU

Of course it does not hurt should you wanna imagine it as the already exist office au, using the idea dump posted for 2020 Christmas.

2. ONF MEMBER that I will integrate would be Hyojin and Seungjun as mentioned during the Christmas post, but I wont stop you for imagining other members, thats why in headcanons I will use ONF MEMBER instead their names. (For member X reader scenario)

3. In this headcanon, reader is slightly older than ONF member, maybe 2 or 3 years older. Same age is plausible, then it would be ONF member continued their studies further so they started working late.

ok lets go, beware its long and sorry if it is messy I tried my best to control 2 way storyline, I had fun writing but I know I am lacking much much more than I could notice. total 6k word count (dies)

1-1

• You work as assistant/secretary for the head of department/CEO in company before the young successor joins and his predecessor retires. • Because you tend to separate work life and private life, you established personality to look like ice queen on the outside (reality) but actually passionate carer on the inside (virtually). None of your colleagues knew, only your close friends • You have been using a chat app (not tinder type) for since you started intern, • 1. That app's specialty was anonymous. • 2. Its like a hideout spot where you can share and post whatever you love. (Because there are some co-workers added your FB or Insta and you felt it is a hassle to create another fake account exclusively to add people) • 3. Even though you tried and failed at 1 or 2 virtual relationships with other users, you never despise the thought of online dating. But you do know it’s not realistic so you never take it too seriously (it is also self-protection) • You would post some photos but mostly are just lunch pics, occasionally an outdoor view from your office floor, also some cute stationaries or accessories found on the way back home. (Just adding this trivia for fun linking the universe, maybe you pass by Minkyun’s flower shop as well?) • (It will be funny if your contents was more on sharing random idol pics that you follow, passionately promoting it hence creating a more impact contrast later when revealing) • One day you came across a post asking about what kind of cologne to buy for a predecessor who will be retiring. Being a good Samaritan, you leave a few suggestions under the post and did not really take it to heart, you forgot about it once you see the original author replied "Thanks" • Not knowing that 1 interaction would change your life forever.

1-2 • The next day, your superior announced his retirement and mentioned a young successor will join the company next month. And ONF member being the young successor does make rumors flying around the company, making people questioning his ability as he is related to company board of directors. The department you are in is under top 5 sales/profit bringing, so with a young successor would be inexperienced which might lead to drop of department reputation of course people are going to worry and gossip. • First impression with ONF member is actually ok. Well dressed, good looking and nice manners. The moment he followed his predecessor walks into the office floor, girls starts to make all sorts of gasping noises (lol) • Your superior mentioned that he bought a retirement gift for your superior deep down you approved at the selection of the cologne brand. • You might goes, this guy got sense, not bad. • One night after several days ONF member joined the department/company, you received a PM from a user, thanking you for the cologne recommendation. It took you a while to remember who it was. You politely replied him “You are welcome.” • The user also nonchalantly asked about how you can make such suggestion that pinpoints because by the glance at your profile, first impression could be very much misleading. • You just replied that you happened to know someone at that age who likes that type of scent hence the list of suggestions, what you did was just you taking the liberty to do a lucky guess. • Out of curiosity, you tap at the stranger’s avatar to get a glimpse of his profile, but out of your disappointment, there were no picture of his to know what he looks like. But there are pictures of scenery from places he travelled. • You also noticed that their “joined the app” days are way lesser than you are, quite a new user. • You found a few pictures of places you went before/ places that you want to go. Delighted, you started the conversation asking if he likes travelling and his next travel plans. • The other party replied briefly his plans and his experience during travels, from his words you know that he won’t be travelling overseas for the next 2 years as he had a new job and responsibility to learn. Instead he will be focusing on doing domestic travels. • His words made you reminisce your rookie days and you responded him that you understand him with empathy. You did not pry further but you do give him some encouragement, telling him that things will get better and once he got the hang of it, he will have more time on his own. (Yup at the moment you are thinking he is a freshman or newbie joining new company) • You timidly ask your new chat friend why they decided to join and use the app. He replied, “I don’t really play social media apps and I don’t want anyone to find me online, the anonymous system this app provides mental security for me.” • The reply was so different from those who are playing the app just for flirting and finding a quick date, you replied him, “Same as you.” • The conversation ends by the other party mentions he will need to be early for work and politely wishes you good night. The next morning you found the stranger has added you as friend, without any thoughts you tap on your screen and now you have a new mutual.

1-3 • Back to office, as ONF member is still new towards his scope of work, you would sometimes giving him advise and guides by sharing “What would his predecessor does.” or “What he can do by not violating company policy”. He takes advises well and would always inquire for your suggestion before making any critical decision. • Once he started to get the hang of it, you passed the torch of freedom to him because you are only a secretary/assistant. But he will still come to you, which you felt he was being dependent. (I feel if it is Minkyun, he will be more dependent should the scope of work is totally unfamiliar to him. Tendency of dependent to independent would be Seungjun, Hyojin, Yuto same par as Jaeyoung, Changyoon then Minkyun.) • (Of course sometimes there are some doubt raised regarding to policies and because he sees things in another perspective, you know he meant no harm but sometimes you wish he would just shut up and just follow the policy just for convenience sake+lessen damage. That’s because should any dissatisfaction of decision happens, colleagues will firstly come to interrogate you, hoping you to twist his decision or questioning your ability to lessen the damage done towards merit they/the department holds. AND YOU HATE PLAYING THOSE POWER MIND GAMES, even though the image you impose looked like you are skilled player.) • So there is some sense that being strict is you are trying hard to protect him and protecting yourself. • BTW ONF member, your new superior has a bright personality unlike his predecessor (huge reason is due to the age factor), even though inexperienced in work, he has good be friending skills. So people in the department felt it was less stressful working under him because he would do small talk with his underlings. (This hc is not suitable for Changyoon and Yuto during the beginning, due to their personality they would try but not suddenly initiating small talks on the first week joining.) • IT WILL BE FUNNY IF SOME FEMALE COLLEAGUE TOOK PITY ON HIM BY MENTIONING/GOSSIPING THAT YOU ARE TOO STRICT AGAINST HIM • Its not that you hate him or he does not have the ability to do his work, it’s just when he is standing on the opposing side against company policy it troubles you. • Every time when things like this happens, you would low-key complains by posting status on the chat app, mentioning you don’t hope for an understanding but you would hope those who are not in your shoes would shut up. Your mutuals mostly are office workers as well so resonates with your words. • Your new friend leaves a comment underneath the post you asking if you are doing alright, and hope you do not stress yourself too much. You thanked him for the mental support. • He will even PM you asking if you are doing alright, most of the time you don’t want to lose your cool plus you don’t think it is wise to abruptly rant towards a stranger as if they are emotional sandbag, so you will politely thank him and say that you are alright now. • Since you and your new friend work on the day, you two chat during the night and weekend, getting to know each other in a very casual pace. A bit of child hood and you both also shared your majors in studies. He told you that he used to study at overseas and he picked up hobby of travelling around a bit during those days. • You never turn on the app during lunch (to avoid people finding out) but your new friend does send you some messages during lunchtime. • As you and the new friend get to know each other, there has a few things in common, you two like talking about travels and you two read works by the same author • By the way the new friend is a he. You two are using ID names the whole time during chatting, because you have told him that you are not comfortable giving and knowing each other’s real name. He understands and respects that. • And you confirmed that he is slightly younger than you. Which you replied to him, “Oh my superior is same age as you.” • This new friend gives you a calm and mature vibe even though he is same age as your new superior. You could not help yourself but comparing. • The other party goes: “Wow, he must be a very successfully accomplished youngster.” • You go: “Nah, other than his outgoing personality that brings freshness to the department, he still got lots to learn.” • Your new friend then continues, “Your new superior is a lucky one, I can confidently say that because I have an excellent senior who would always look out for me.” • You respond, “Then you better treat them well.” • And he goes “Of course.”

1-4

• Work is as usual, possible you unintentionally eavesdropping and caught ONF member saying towards you (even better backing you up when some junior colleagues are reverse gossiping about you) : You know, Y/N might look cold and stern sometimes but actually a kind and gentle person. Y/N would always give out advice for the sake of the department/ company. • Cues you would fluster a bit by those words. • A few days later you are done briefing your superior their schedule. And ONF member suddenly ask if you are free for dinner. It’s already his 4th month in the company and wanted to properly thank you for guiding him with patience and prudence. • At first you wanted to decline him because you don’t want to deal with work related stuff after office hours, ALSO you don’t want anyone to start weird gossips. • Another reason is you don’t want to talk about yourself too much in front of your superior. Heck you even avoid your colleague’s invitations for dinner because you value your “me time” very much. • But looking at his anticipating face, you got soft and agreed that a coffee would suffice. ONF member smiles at you suggest both of you to have coffee right now at Starbucks next to your company building. You are free to choose whatever drink you like. • Before both of you leave the room. And then you heard a familiar notification sound, you thought your heart is going to stop, that is the notification sound from the chat app you are using. You did not have your phone with you so it was obvious the sound comes from ONF member’s phone. • And that was a notification alert of the system has found someone nearby and presented to the user. It got you curious and worried at the same time. • At Starbucks, ONF member had to answer a call, so you ordered his drink as well. • Later you see him start replying messages while waiting for orders to be done. You wanted to have a peek at his user name but you are a few steps away and your instinct told you better don’t do that. What if it is already someone you already know? • “Curiosity killed the cat, remember?” You tell yourself. • Once you are at your desk, you took some deep breath to calm yourself and try to remember if you recalled wrongly but truth is you are accurate. You hurriedly checked you phone, there were no new messages and you are sure you have turned off location visibility. Lucky for you it was never turned on to begin with. • You also kind of worried if your superior actually has a “fun” lifestyle after office hours. But, it’s hard to relate him to a playboy image when he looked like a friendly good boy. You shake your head and deny yourself. • “If (ONF member name) uses that app then I will need to be more careful.” you thought while sipping the frappe. So back at home, you started to alter all posts’ visibility to “Visible for mutuals only”. Took you nearly a whole night but better safe than sorry.

1-5 • More weeks pass by peacefully but one day a conflict happened between you and ONF member and some colleagues/minor members of the board. He went ahead to announce that he decides (had a thought) to run a campaign/new rule (maybe a budget cut). The moment he finished his sentences, you know the seniors will not be happy with it. • Later after meeting, you politely confront with ONF member that he should discuss with you before announcing it on meeting. Plus, announcing without any advance preparation will put him and you in an awkward position as verbal announcement are not persuasive enough. Of course you are also worried that people might use this issue to tackle and exploit the cons of both of you being inexperience and young. • “With all due my respect, Mr.(ONF member name), it will be nice if you could discuss with me before dropping that bomb at the meeting.” you try not to sound fierce but your tone clearly does not sound you are cool with his actions at all. • “And later having you lecture me and stop me? You do know it was for the good of the company too right?” He retorts like usual • “Yes but no.” you try to fight back. “ It’s not that easy, there are people need to be dealt with and I don’t think you--” • Before you could finish, ONF member says with an eyebrow raised, “You don’t think I can handle it, because I am still unexperienced.” • You unconsciously frown and thinking, why is he suddenly trying to pick a fight deliberately today? Why is he suddenly trying to piss off seniors in the department/company? • ONF member then with firm tone, gives you suggestion, “Should you have anyone come to you and complain, tell them that you knew nothing at all and request them to talk to me directly instead.” • “I am the CEO, not you.” He adds. • You could not help but sigh, knowing there is not point arguing because he is not going to back down. And deep down you do know the new rule/budget cut will do more merit than harm. (Your focus is more on how deal with seniors employees not him for now because seniors are more pain in the ass compared to him) • But still there are people come to you and bug you while you are working and you can’t tell them to leave you alone hence it stresses you out. • You escape to the bathroom taking your phone with you and vents out at the app by posting a status mentioning you are just trying to do your job and wants a peaceful work days. • You also come across seeing your new friend posting a status prior your meeting time, it’s a photo of frappe you recommended him to try it out. He is thanking you for recommending it. • You could not help but feeling a bit jealous, should your title and work scopes are different/ should you are just normal employee rather than a CEO’s secretary, you might not need to face these kind of stress. • “Guess you have to bear what you signed up for huh?” you thought to yourself after 15 minutes cooling yourself down. • You switched your mind set and step out from bathroom. Returning to your place with your usual ice cold face. You are trying hard not to show that you are weak against stress. You are too immersed at people coming at you asking you questions, without knowing ONF member actually observing you with concerned gaze from his room. • That night, you receive a PM from your new friend asking if you are doing ok, as you never sound that upset before. He said he can lent an ear so you can tell him what happened. You spare him all the intricate details and tell him briefly that your superior made a mess and you need to clean it up also back his plan no matter you like it or not. • The whole progress he did not interrupt you nor tried to tell you what you should do, he let you type all the way until you finished. Once you are done, you asked, “I don’t know what might be up in his sleeves that it’s inconvenient for me to know beforehand but... Isn’t he a jerk, putting me into an awkward situation?” • Your friend backs you up and agrees with you that matters should be discussed, and critiques your superior actually could trust you more. • You thanked your friend for letting you to rant and mentioned you have accepted the fate because of the title and responsibility you hold in the company. That’s being professional and mature in office. • The other party replied that even if that is the case, he hope you don’t stresses yourself too much as it seems your new superior still needs your guidance and support. • You playfully replies, “Well I am not his babysitter XD, he will need to face a lot of issues by his own someday.” • “Why is that?” • “Well I can’t always be by his side though? I might get married and resign.” you reveal your future plans to your new friend, “Moreover, even I don’t resign, I might take pregnancy leave though?” • The other party comments, “I never thought you had that planned out.” • And he continues, “Your profile gives out the ‘I love my job so much.’ vibe” • You then back up your point by saying you do want that plan to work but too bad you are single now, so of course you are going to focus on your job more. Plus, you do not plan to find a partner in work place anyways. • The new friend leaves more supportive words and hoping it will cheer you up. By the end of the conversation, he also offers that you can come to him and rant should you need an ear. • You grin at his words and felt warm towards his actions. Rarely any of your mutual actually PM to check up on you. “Maybe he was just being nice.” you thought before you wish him good night.

1-6 • The next day, you are being summoned by your superior the first thing in the morning. He passes you a pile of documents and requests you to go through it. It a proposal regarding to the budget cut/new rule and he hope you can be his ally. His gaze is not as firm as yesterday, but it’s more of seeking approval and acknowledgement from you. • You let out a sigh and mutters, “You know, should you have hand this to me beforehand the situation won’t be that ugly.” And then you start to flip the pages. • “Sorry.” He apologizes. “But I really want to make it work. It’s also a handover work by my predecessor.” • “You look up upon him too much, ONF member, he is a sly fox just like the other seniors.” You do not mean to back stab but you are telling the truth. “Has it never come to your mind why he did not initiate the plan when he is here and requested you to initiate it when he is gone?” • “I know. But this move is going to benefit the company; I am willing to bear responsibility.” ONF member adds • You stop reading and look at your superior in the eye, “You better hope this work though, I don’t want my 5 months effort of guiding you goes to waste. And I hate the idea that I need to re- adjust my pace with a new superior.” • ONF member gets your intentions behind your words; he swiftly stands up from his chair and thanked you. “I owe you big one, Y/N. Another cup of coffee to thank you for reals?” • “No thanks, I will be busy. Next time.” You feel uncomfortable because the social distance between you two seems shortened, so you politely decline. • Luckily the whole budget cut/new rule policy worked out fine and by year end, benefits shows. You and ONF member can finally relax a bit knowing that you both have won the fight.

1-7 • Meanwhile, you did not stop interacting with your recent favourite friend. As you two got to know each other even more, both of you chat almost every day during the night. He never bores you and he can understand most of the topic you bring up. You are amazed that how can someone has so many things in common? • It spikes your curiosity and you ask him if a wonderful person like him has a partner in real life. He answers you that he is single, just like you are. • (You thought he is lying because he is such a nice guy, but of course you do tell yourself not to 100 percent trust everyone online) • Then he asks your opinion about online virtual dating. You honestly told him about your experience. But you added that even though you failed twice/thrice, you are not against it. • And that moment, you don’t know what has gotten into you, you playfully type, “You are asking my opinion on that as if you are preparing yourself” • “Prepare for what?” he asks • “To get yourself an online girlfriend.” You reply. • His respond reads, “Yes I am.” • “That’s wonderful. That girl you will be confessing is a lucky one.” • “Yea, indeed you are.” • You pause for a moment when you saw the message. • “Wait, you serious? ME??” you quickly send him the message because you thought should you hesitate longer, the mood will turn awkward. • He replies you by sending you a heart emoji. • You give a quick thought, well it is interesting chatting with him and he does seem nice. Plus, it’s online anyway, you could call it off should he becomes toxic and annoying like your previous experiences. • “I wasn’t sure if you are ok with someone like me. “He continues. “I am fine if you want to call it off should you found someone in real life later on.” • “Don’t be silly, that should be my line.” You retort him. • And then you have it, another secret. You have an online boyfriend now. You both even declared each other as a pair of soulmate publicly on the app. But you two did not exchange selfies, keeping the relationship virtual and anonymous. • However you two always share interesting stuffs happen on daily. New book, new cd, a random shot of a puppy or cat you met on the street. • Also before year end, you overheard girl colleagues gossiping about your superior has a girlfriend now; you are not interested at his private life so you just let it slide. • But you did briefly mention it to your boyfriend. Not in a gossip tone, more of a life update share. • Of course there are some girl colleagues that are ok with you comes to you, hoping you leak some information about ONF member’s rumoured girlfriend. But of course you know nothing at all, leaving them with disappointed answer. • Fast forward to the week before Valentine’s Day. It is also 10th month since ONF member joins the company. • Out of the sudden, your online boyfriend suggests you two to meet up. You are not against it, and it’s not like you never met anyone you know from the app. Thinking why not knowing a new friend in real life, you agreed his offer. (Also because you are curious what he looks like so that you can understand why he was single before dating you) • You even inquired his preference in chocolate and promise bringing him some on official first date. • Your boyfriend thanks you and suggests a place for dinner. You knew that place, it’s expensive and you could not help but wondering if he is trying hard to match you. (You still thinks he is just a normal employee in a company) • But, your boyfriend only replies: “Don’t worry, it is the perfect spot, I could not think of others that are suitable to our taste.” • You can only acknowledge it because you don’t want to have an argument to blow up but deep down you could not help yourself to start doubting again. • “It’s going to be Ok, right?” you question your decision, but it’s too late.

1-8 • On Valentine’s Day, younger female colleagues in your office give out chocolate treats to younger male colleagues as friendship presents, some of course using the occasion to confess. • You don’t have the habit of presenting chocolate treats as a token of friendship appreciation at the office. But you are giving your date chocolate treat later; you hid yours in your bag carefully scared of being teased should anyone saw it. • ONF member gets some too. One female colleague even teases him if he is going to get chocolate from his girlfriend. And ONF member replies that he might get it later that night. • Of course ONF member will asks you for chocolate treat with an innocent face, you just bluntly tell him that you don’t have the habit to give out chocolate treats, he only pouts after listening to your respond. • By the way today you unintentionally changed your makeup (lipstick or eyeshadow). No one dared to make any comments but not your superior, ONF member. • He goes: “Y/N ah? Did something good happen on you? Are you going to a date tonight?” • You are typing quick report and his words caught you off guard. You flinched at his words. Hoping ONF member did not notice, you quickly lied by telling him simply ran out of your usual makeup colour. • But your superior teases you a bit, “Aww, I was hoping I could attend your wedding in near future. “ • You have gotten used to his socializing pattern, so you counter him by asking if he is going to bring his girlfriend to have a nice dinner at a grand restaurant. • And to your surprise, he revealed the place he will be having dinner with his partner. It’s the same place where you are heading to later. He had a special room booked exclusively for tonight’s date. • “Oh, Oh… Have fun and enjoy your dinner.” You force yourself to break a smile. • ONF member only smirks at you and gives you a few pats on your shoulders and says he will have an unforgettable night before returning to his room. Leaving you questioning the meaning of his actions that are unpredictable but also definitely intentional. • Of course you had a quick thought asking your boyfriend if it is possible to change location, you could not bring yourself to ask as you are worried you might sound rude/arrogant trying to change plans on the last minute. You deduced that since ONF member will be having dinner in a room, you might not going to bump into him. You and your boyfriend can just finish dinner quickly. • You could not have that bother you too much time because you need to finish your report so that you can leave on time. Once it reaches the end of office hours, the others started to leave. You made up a plan to leave after ONF member leaves the office. You keep raising your gaze to have a slight peek towards your superior’s room. • Seeing him finally standing up from his chair and adjusting his suit. You can tell he is finally leaving. He passes through your desk and asks, “Y/N ah, please don’t tell me you are planning to work overtime during this special day?” • You only smiles and tell him you are going to finish soon, “Don’t you have a dinner to attend?” you remind him without looking at him, acting as if you are typing the remaining contents of your report. • “Yea I do. See ya.” ONF member waves you goodbye. • You leave the office after 10 minutes. (As for method of transport to the restaurant, I will leave it to your choice.)

1-9 • You reach the building of the restaurant. You let out a sigh, hesitating to step in nonchalantly knowing ONF member is inside there as well. The least thing you definitely do not want to happen is ONF member finding you having a dinner date tonight. It’s embarrassing and it will break the balance of your work and private life. • While you are pacing in front of the building with hesitation, you receive a chat notification from the app. You open it and it was your boyfriend, notifying you that he has arrived, and he reminds you the restaurant located at 38th floor. • You nervously bite your lower lip knowing it’s too late and it is rude of you to cancel the date on last minute. He was a decent person to chat with and you don’t want to lose a good friend. You are blaming yourself for agreeing to attend this date too casually. And you also find yourself way too wary of your virtual boyfriend’s thoughts towards you should you now called him to cancel the date. • Then you heard a familiar voice called out your name and you turn your head towards the voice unconsciously. It’s ONF member, walking out from the building. You flustered and panicked by just imagining scenarios of him asking why you are here and other many more questions. • “OMG…. Shit shit shit….!” You cursed in your head, regretting your life decisions. Recalling the entire chat context between you two, this might be the worst thing ever to happen in your life. • He is grinning while reaching out to grasp your hand. You unintentionally try to back away from him but he was faster. You tried to pull your hand away but he pulls you toward him instead. You nearly bumped towards his chest. • “Y/N ah, I told you its 38th floor; you did not get my message?” ONF member asks as his smirks widens. • As he finished his words, you only look at the young guy in front of you with disbelief, processing his words. Seeing you froze due to the big plot twist, ONF member taps you on your forehead hoping to unfreeze you. • “It can’t be…You are (ONF member’s ID in the app)?! “You exclaim. • “Yeap.” He responds. • “Impossible…How?” you ask. “How did you know it was me?” • “At first I had my doubt when I first saw an old post of yours. You shot a sunset pic from our office floor by the window near the lift right?” he returns with another question. And man he is good at remembering details. • “Then I confirmed that it was you by the time I announced budget cut/new rules for the company/department. ” he explains • “I…” You could not bring yourself to say anything, but you are not an idiot, “(ONF member name), did you risked your reputation in the company just to find out a stranger’s real identity?” • “No, I did not, I swear. I initiated the plan to suddenly announce the budget cut because I want to find out which board seniors will make a move to cover up themselves, as requested from my predecessor.” He knows you well to sense that you are angry, and he quickly denied. “I only know it was you when I checked up on you. Since then I have been dropping so many hints for you to realize, but it seems like you are the dense one here.” • You can tell he is telling the truth. • “This is absurd…” you mutter while placing your hand on your forehead. • ONF member let out a sigh and he shifts behind you, places his hands on your shoulders then pushes you forward. “Come on, I am starving we can talk about it later, you did not had a decent meal during lunch as well right?” • He is right, you only had a mini croissant during lunchtime.

• You follow him without a word to the entrance of the building and enter the lift to 38th floor. ONF member has booked a nice room that both of you can enjoy the city’s night view.

1-10 • It was a luxurious dinner but you are not in the mood enjoying it. In fact you are so stressed that you could not even taste your food. You did not touch your dessert at all. • You only quietly trace the shape of wine glass in front of you while looking at the night view, hoping the night to pass quickly. • “You are not happy with me being your date, Y/N?” he suddenly asks. • You jolted and you finally look at him in the eye for the first time tonight. • “You startled me, I am still trying to grasp the situation here.” You reply him with a low voice, trying to act calm by casually bring your drink closer to you and hydrates your throat. • “Hey Y/N-ah, I know you mentioned before that you don’t like the idea of dating someone from the office, but…” his eyes are fixed on you. “I like you. Not just the virtual you, but also the real you.” • “I called you a jerk.” You know you should not bring it up, but you still did. • “Which I did act like one so, no hard feelings.” He accepted. “I am truly sorry about that, I was trying to prove myself way too hard.” • Now it got awkward since he apologized without any complaints. You don’t know what to say and avert your gaze again. • “You know, Y/N ah, when you are stressed, you tend to avoid other people’s eye contact. “he breaks the silence. “And you are doing that ever since you reached here.” • Upon hearing his words, you flinched and exchange eye contact with the young man sitting in front of you. • “And oh, and you flinch as well.” He adds, “Which is very adorable in my opinion.” • “(ONF member’s name), I …” you try to explain yourself but he cuts you off. • “It alright, you don’t have to push yourself, I have made you stressed out way too much today.” ONF member smiles at you while saying based on what he observed. • He finally stands up and offers to send you home. You could not decline him because you felt terribly sorry for ruining such as nice date. • “I am sorry, should it is another girl, it will be a terrific night for you.” You apologized before leaving his car. • “Don’t worry; it is an unforgettable night for me.” He responds with his usual smile. • Back at your place, you are frustrated that the night ended up in an awkward and weird way. You only noticed that you did not get to hand him the chocolate treats as promised. • You cannot sleep that night, gazing at the chocolate treats as you holding the package in your hands. You cannot tell if you messed up or you are lucky that he happened to like you. • You wanted to consult a random mutual of yours but you hesitated. Because at this point you are not sure if you actually have the full grasp on the situation. And you don’t want a biased reply. • “It’s just this boyfriend of yours happened to be him, I guess?” you murmur to yourself. But that did not clear up your mind enough for you to make any decision towards the situation. • Several days passed, ONF member did not send any message to you in the chat app. He acted like usual back in office, but it does not look like he has any intention to talk about what happen between you two either. • (The problem is you cannot look at him in the eye) • You are troubled if you should initiate the first move. It’s not like you hate him, you never did in the first place, it’s just he annoys you sometimes. • Then you overheard ONF member having small talk with colleagues, and they ask about his Valentine’s Day. He only replies it was an unforgettable night and he is glad that he is able to meet his girlfriend, it was better than never meeting her at all.

1-11 • From his words, you gain a bit of courage and decided to make your first move. • The next day you arrived at the office earlier than usual, you take out something from you bag and places small gift box on ONF member’s desk. The small box has a memo attached to it. • You hurried back to your desk, acted as if nothing happened while the office starts have more and more colleagues coming in. ONF member arrives later on and he greets you before heading in his room. • You take some quick glances, making sure ONF member notices your belated Valentine’s day gift. • He did noticed and read the memo you attached, then he made a confused look but he adjusts his facial expression immediately as he sees you stood up from your place. • You head to his office room to brief his morning schedule. Like usual, you step into his room, closes the door and starts the briefing. ONF member stares at you with a puzzled expression while sitting on his chair. • Once you done your part and you ask him if he has any schedules to add into the list, he places the gift box into your view and pushes it towards you. • “What do you mean by this?” he inquires. • “I promised you chocolate for Valentine’s day, sorry I was late.” You purposely answer him the wrong information. “ Don’t worry I made a brand new ones.” • “You know I meant this.” He pulls out the memo has his eyes fixed on you. • The memo wrote, “(ONF member’s ID), Let’s call it off --- (Your ID)” • “That’s how it is.” You tried not to break into a smile, you are getting your revenge and this is fun. “You are the one who said you are fine to call it off if either one of us found someone in real life right?” • ONF member pauses for a moment, his eyes wandering then he admits he did say that. • “Well you found someone in real life, so there is not point for us to continue virtual dating on the app anymore right?” you slightly let out a victorious smirk as you ask him. • ONF member finally gets what you mean and he let out a smile. He puts down the memo and pushes himself up from his chair and walks towards you. • Thankfully the design of his room is made up of walls, once the wooden door is closed; no one knows what happens inside. • “So, you are fine with us dating in real life then?” You can feel his breath as he is only one step away from you. This time you are not going to back away and you look at him straight in the eyes. • “I will need to adjust a bit. You have a problem with me being your girlfriend?” you reply with him with another question. • ONF member unconsciously let out another smile, he quickly hides it with his hand, “No, not at all…” and those were the words you can hear coming out from him • “That settles it then.” You widen your grin towards him before turning around ready to leave his office. • But you are being pulled back by a pair of arms. Your back come contact to his chest area. He is hugging you from behind you. • “Seriously, I don’t get you.” He low key complains. “I thought you are going to hate me for real this time.” • “I was going to, you did not texted me and you acting like nothing happened after that night.” You pout as you explain to him. “I thought I have ended my career the moment you told me who you are. And who would have thought a decent CEO would date someone randomly they met in a online chatting app?” • “I am sorry; I thought leaving you unbothered for some time so that you don’t get stressed out.” You could tell from his tone he does feel apologetic. He never sounds like that before during work.

• "But I am dead serious on trying to start a proper relationship with you that’s why I suggested for us to meet up.” he continues. “Glad you felt the same.”

• You freed yourself from his hug and turn to him. • “Now listen, (ONF member’s name), as we are professionals, I do hope you understand that there is a clear line between work and private life.” You remind him. “Just because we are dating now, does not mean that I am going to let you off easily if you messed up during work, ok?.” • “Man, I don’t think I will ever win you huh?” ONF member only look at you affectionately and continues, “As you wish, my beloved assistant/secretary.”

A/N : the concludes for this oneshot headcanon fic should there are more ideas I might write a continuation about this pair for a part 2. Also thinking of linking the universe with MInkyun Florist AU, just a maybe.

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into-control · 3 years

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Into i need help. I bought a oculus quest 2 right and i tried to connect it to my laptop and it wont work so I realized i needed and actual pc gaming setup you know, problem is idk anything about PCs and i dont wanna get scammed. Can you help me? Ive looked online and idk wtf im looking at tbh. Can you give like advice and shit lol 😂 love you into 💕

well i'm not a professional at pcs by any means but i've always had a huge fixation on them so i can try to help as much as possible and i'll even try to put it in simple terms. fair warning, i talk A LOT in this post because i love rambling about computers :') i tried to use the simplest terms possible since you seem confused but if something doesn't make sense just ask and i can try to reword.

it all depends on what you want out of your pc. and do you want to build one or get a prebuilt one? if you want my advice i recommend building one. getting a prebuilt pc is the easiest way to get scammed because retailers tend to overcharge and they think they can get away with it because they stuck a flashy high end graphics card and colourful lights in it even though it has shit airflow and they cheaped out on the motherboard and power supply or something like that. if you're going to get a prebuilt pc make sure you look at allll the specs and consult some online reviews to see if they're any good, and figure out if you're going to be overcharged. now i'll talk about building one. a lot of this will still be useful if you're considering buying a prebuilt though.

the very first step is deciding your budget. idk where you are but in USD the typical amount to spend on pc parts is i think like $1000 - 1500 (you can spend less but that's if you don't have a lot of money to spend and are still desperate to have a gaming pc). i'm spending around $1700 CAD (before taxes, eugh) on mine bc i want to get into more demanding games eventually. it sounds very costly but computers like these can last you a decade and are very multifaceted. figuring out your budget first instead of going right ahead and buying stuff is important because each component should take up specific percentages of your budget. another important thing to consider when deciding your budget is if you want RGB (the colourful lights as previously mentioned), because components with that capability are slightly more expensive.

after deciding your budget, your first move is deciding what graphics card (GPU) you want. the GPU is responsible for processing and presenting the visuals on your screen. theoretically it should take up between 35 - 40% of your budget because it is the powerhouse in a gaming system. you have two developers to choose from here: NVIDIA or AMD. from what i've seen people tend to prefer NVIDIA but AMD cards aren't bad and they definitely compete in performance. i'll talk about nvidia though because that's what i know more about. by searching up the oculus quest 2 system requirements it tells me you at least need an nvidia geforce gtx 970. this card came out in 2014 and is by no means bad however it is actually the same base price as a lot of newer cards. if you want to go better than the minimum requirements, first consider what your monitor is capable of. if you don't have one yet, consider what you want it to do. monitors are not considered a part of the budget i keep mentioning by the way. idk how much this matters to you since we're talking about the oculus quest 2 but i'm just kind of assuming you're going to use this pc for other games too. the main two things to take into consideration are max resolution and refresh rate. my monitor has a resolution of 1920 x 1080 and a 144hz refresh rate. what the resolution means is that there are 2,073,600 pixels in the screen, and can go up to a resolution of 1080p in video games. the refresh rate means the monitor can refresh the picture on the screen 144 times a second, therefore can show a max of 144 frames per second in a video game. to put that in to perspective, most screens have a refresh rate of 60hz, such as regular laptop screens, iphone screens, etc.. monitors come in mainly 60hz, 75hz, 144hz, and 165hz, and for resolution they mainly come in 1080p, 1440p, and 4k. seeing as i don't have any plans on upgrading my monitor any time soon, dropping extra money on a GPU that can achieve more than 144fps and 1440p/4k would be pointless. but forget about the monitor, the oculus quest 2 has a max refresh rate of 120hz and its resolution lies somewhere between 1080p and 1440p. if you know what kind of games you're going to be playing, look up how they perform with different kinds of cards. i'm fairly certain anything above an nvidia geforce rtx 3070 would be pointless because of your display limits, and anything below the nvidia geforce gtx 970 simply won't be enough for the system. you can look at all the GPUs ranked here. after deciding which GPU you want you need to figure out which brand of it you want (NVIDIA themselves, asus, gigabyte, evga, etc), because they all perform at slightly different levels, although the difference is usually only a few frames so it's better to save money. something to watch out for is the quality of the fans in the GPU because if they aren't good, it will overheat and underperform. i'm aiming to get a 3060 or 3060 ti, if that helps. the only problem is that there is currently a worldwide GPU shortage due to covid, tariffs, and the cryptocurrency mining boom (gpus are used in bulk to mine). fortunately there is currently a crypto mining crackdown happening in china, where majority of mining in the world happens, so the demand for GPUs will hopefully start going down soon. you wont be able to build your pc right away but the market is looking better than it has in awhile. this is just about the only argument i have in favor of getting a prebuilt pc, because they have GPUs in them and are more readily available. i don't think that's a good enough reason though especially since part of the reason i'm building my pc is because it looks fun lol. another thing to note is that you should not overspend on your GPU. the shortage has caused a lot of GPU prices to skyrocket into the $2k-3k range but none of them should be above 1k except the highest end ones. when deciding on a GPU, search up the manufacturer's suggested retail price (MSRP). cards made by brands other than AMD and NVIDIA will almost always cost a little extra, but do not pay hundreds of

extra dollars. but anyways!! the GPU is now out of the way and is definitely the longest paragraph here because it's the most important part.

next up is the central processing unit (CPU), which you should be spending about 20 - 25% of your budget on. its job is essentially to retrieve instructions from the RAM and execute it. i suppose you could call it the brain. again you have two developers to choose from, this time between intel and AMD. i've had two laptops with an intel CPU and my current one has an AMD CPU and both are very good, however the general consensus is that you can get the same performance for less by going with AMD. CPUs have cores, and each core can run its own process. the more cores you have, the more your pc can think about basically. you can get CPUs will all sorts of amounts of cores but for gaming, 4 or 6 cores is all you really need. 8 is actually already a bit overkill. so you really don't need to get the best CPU out there. the one you get should depend on what GPU you get (hence choosing that component first). you don't want to bottleneck your GPU by getting a CPU that isn't good enough for it, but bottlenecking your CPU with the GPU by a small amount isn't as big of a deal because the goal is to allow your GPU to be used to its full ability. another detail about CPU is clock speed, which determines how quick it can complete tasks. the higher the faster, obviously. my (non gaming) laptop's CPU clock speed is 2.30 GHz and has 4 cores. the cpu i have for my build is the AMD ryzen 5 5600x. it has a base clock speed of 3.7 GHz but it can be maxed out to 4.6 GHz, and it has 6 cores. the oculus quest 2 has a minimum requirement of the AMD ryzen 5 1500x or the intel i5-4590, which is a little low on the performance list. but like i said the CPU should depend on the GPU. all it takes is a google search for which CPU goes best with the GPU you've chosen and you can find several answers depending on if you want the best possible performance, best budget performance, etc.. a nice little fact about choosing AMD over intel is that most AMD CPUs will come with a stock cooler, which is absolutely necessary otherwise your CPU will overheat (this is another thing prebuilts will cheap out on). this only adds to the whole price-to-performance thing. the stock cooler will most likely do unless you push your pc or want the build to look prettier.

next on the list is a motherboard, where all the parts come together in unity. you should spend 8 - 10% of your budget on this baby. it's easy to over and underspend on a mobo. the most important thing when it comes to choosing a mobo is that it supports your CPU. you cannot use the same mobo for intel and AMD CPUs. fortunately the product page will straight up tell you which CPU brand the mobo is meant for and will typically have two versions of the same board. it's important to note that motherboards don't always have onboard wifi, meaning it wont be able to connect to the internet via wifi and instead needs an ethernet cable or an external wifi adapter. if you can't get an ethernet cable to the room where you want your pc, you're going to need onboard wifi, or a wifi card/usb. onboard wifi mobos tend to be more expensive so it's up to you, but i personally bought one with wifi included so i wouldn't have to worry about it because our ethernet cables are in the basement and i'm upstairs. another very important thing about motherboards is that their BIOS version (operating system i guess?? idk how else to describe it) doesn't always support your CPU out of the box and must be updated before using it. this can present as a problem if you don't have another CPU to perform the update with, however some motherboards allow you to 'flash' the BIOS with a only usb drive as long as it's hooked up to power. there are plenty of step by step youtube videos about how to do this. i will have to do this with my motherboard when the time comes because it doesn't support ryzen 5s out of the box. don't let this deter you from getting a certain board as long as it has a BIOS flash feature. next up is what I/O ports you want, which are the ports (usb ports, headphone/mic jack, hdmi port, etc) you'd find on the back of any desktop computer. that is the side of the motherboard. basically just be aware of how many of each ports you want, and remember that there will probably be even more ports on the front of the case you get. the last thing i can think of right now is making sure your motherboard has all the headers (where you plug components in) you want it to have but i'll get to that later.

next up on the list is RAM, aka random access memory. this stores short term data. the amount of RAM you have kind of determines how much your pc can multitask. RAM sticks typically go up by some multiple of 2GB. most standard laptops and desktops nowadays will come with 8GB of RAM, which is enough for day to day use. it can be enough for mid and low end games however it cuts it pretty close most of the time. 16GB of RAM is the sweet spot for gaming and anything above that is pretty much overkill (and once again a waste of money) as long as you don't have a billion unnecessary background processes. a large amount of RAM is typically needed for video editors or computer programmers. you should always make sure your motherboard can support the amount of RAM you want although any good motherboard will support 64GB or even 128GB. the best option is to get a 16GB RAM pack, which will include two 8GB RAM sticks. splitting RAM between two sticks will increase efficiency. this is called dual channel. i also recommend getting DDR4 RAM, which is simply faster than DDR3. a good speed to have is around 3600 MHz. make sure your motherboard supports DDR4. you also want to be weary that your RAM is compatible with your CPU brand because they do have to interact for your pc to function.

next is storage. there are three-ish options here depending on how much you're willing to spend. generally you should spend 8 - 10% of the budget here. you can always get a good ole hard drive for the cheapest, however they are the slowest and physically biggest option, meaning whatever you put on it will take a bit longer for your pc to retrieve and open (they can load about 100-200MB of data per second). the next option is a solid state drive. they are a little more expensive but can load as much as 600MB of data per second and take up less space. the last and most efficient/expensive option is an m.2 nvme drive. these things are physically absolutely tiny and can load up to 4GB of data per second. anything you put on these will open very very quickly. the fairly standard solution for this is a combination of two of these three. personally i'm using one m.2 drive and one hard drive. the hard drive i have can store 2TB while the m.2 drive can only store 256GB. funnily enough these two drives are roughly the same price. the idea here is to install your operating system on the faster drive. this makes it so it only takes like 8 seconds tops for your pc to start up. you can also put any other programs you use most often on there (like your main browser and favourite games) and they will open very quickly, while the bulk of your games and other files will go on the bigger drive. that's all there really is to say for storage, just make sure the reviews are good on the drive you want to get, but that goes for any component.

next is your power supply (PSU). very very important to not cheap out on this. 6 - 8% of the budget should go to this. the function of the PSU is to do exactly what its name implies: supply power to all the components. this is where the website pcpartpicker can come in very handy. not only does it help you build a list of parts that are all compatible with each other, it will also estimate how much wattage you will need to run your pc. 600W is usually enough for a normal gaming pc. PSUs are ranked, and you should never really go below a bronze ranking. you can also choose between non-modular, semi-modular, and fully-modular PSUs. non-modular PSUs have all the cables permanently attached. this can be desirable to people who are confused by what cable is plugged in where but also undesirable as unused cables cannot be removed and make cable management harder. fully-modular PSUs come with the cables all in a separate bag so you choose which ones to plug in. semi-modular power supplies have the necessary cables attached and the rest can be attached need be. it all depends on preference and how much faith you have in yourself. i have an 80+ gold certified fully modular 750W PSU because the thought of unnecessary cable management makes me sick lol. corsair is pretty much the most trusted brand for power supplies. be careful because this is another place prebuilts will cut corners.

now for the case! this one isn't overly difficult to choose and mainly will just appeal to your aesthetics. it's less important to stick to a precise percent of the budget for this one but you also don't want to spend more than 8%. do you want a black case? a white one? do you want a glass side panel so you can see inside your pc and admire your hard work? besides that, you also need to make sure the case is big enough for your motherboard, GPU, and PSU. most info pages for cases will tell you the max size of the GPU and PSU and what size of mobo it's meant for. you also want to make sure there is a place to put your storage drives (unless you only have m.2 drives which are installed on the motherboard). you also want to make sure it has optimal airflow abilities. a case with no airflow will cause overheating. the best ones have mesh fronts and tops to allow cool air to be pulled in and hot air out. it's even better if you can get a case that comes with fans in the front, because they are what pulls that cool air in.

next is the CPU cooler, which i briefly mentioned. if you don't get an AMD CPU then you'll need to buy a separate cooler. you can choose between air coolers (a fan and a heatsink) or liquid coolers. i don't really have much to say about them and i recommend doing your own research on liquid coolers lol.

last but not least, case fans. like i said a lot of cases will come with front fans and also an exhaust fan at the back, however you might want more, or even replace the ones you already have with better ones. pay attention to how many fans your case manual says can fit and plan accordingly. check out reviews to see if the fans you want are quiet and efficient. if you buy a three pack of case fans there is a chance it will come with a fan hub. this makes it easier to control all of them in sync because the hub will connect all the fans to one header on the motherboard. generally 3-6 fans are pretty good for a gaming pc. two or three in the front pulling in cool air, one at the back and two on the top to pull out hot air.

now that i have all the components out of the way i'm gonna talk about RGB lighting. numerous components that i've mentioned have the option of including LED lights to make your pc brightly coloured, which is always nice if you have a glass side panel on your pc. it's an extra bit of money but i personally was willing to sacrifice that because i want to show off my build lmao. motherboards, RAM sticks, GPUs, CPU coolers, and case fans are the main components that can come with RGB lighting. you can also get special LED strips and power connectors designed for PCs. if you decide to go for RGB lighting, do try to stick to one RGB ecosystem, meaning make sure all the RGB components can be controlled by one program. RGB is controlled by your motherboard. for example if you get an asus motherboard you'll probably want to use their program, aura sync. most components can be controlled by any brand's program however if the motherboard itself has RGB lighting it can only be controlled via its own brand's program, along with the GPU. if you want RGB case fans you really have to make sure your motherboard has RGB headers (the thingy on the motherboard where you plug the fan's LED lights into). most motherboards will only have two-ish RGB headers so if you're going to buy a bunch of fans make sure they come with a fan hub, which lets you plug them all into one header on the motherboard. also, never sacrifice performance for RGB. specifically when it comes to GPUs. if you have a choice between a GPU with RGB and a GPU without RGB, always take the one that has better performance (given it's within the parameters i mentioned earlier).

that's all i have to say :) if you couldn't tell i really love this stuff. i will also recommend you watch youtube videos about this, you can see the build process and the reasoning for using each component, and also tips on what to do and what not to do. i hope this helps and wasn't too confusing. i know you said this is mainly because you got an oculus quest 2 but if you're going to get a gaming pc you should definitely consider games outside of the oculus too.

#ask #anon

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