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obxlife · 4 years

Text

Childishness (JJ x Reader)

A/N: And now a JJ fic! I’m so excited about this one. I swear this anon has the best ideas ever (I’m pretty sure it’s the same anon that requested Hotel Madness). I just love this kind of childish and fluffy concepts with JJ.

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Word count: 3,704

Request: Hey! me again — so like an imagine where you're close friends with Kie and work at the Wreck with her and just always having this banter with JJ or something

Summary: You had met JJ because he was a friend of your coworker, Kie. And from the start you both seemed to hit it off. If by hitting it off you meant banters and ridiculous discussions.

Warnings: A bit of swearing, a bit of angst, a bit of abuse (no fighting but bruises and the aftermath of abuse) and a whole lot of FLUFF

CHILDISHNESS

JJ had first heard of you from Kie. He was out on the water with all of the Pogues when she had mentioned you, her new coworker, and how cool you were.

“So there’s this girl, Y/N, right?” Kie began to say. “She started working my same shifts about a week ago and she’s awesome. But you guys would never guess what she did yesterday!”

The rest of the Pogues weren’t very interested in what Kie was saying (except Pope, who stared at her with loving eyes), so they simply muttered out a small, “What?”

JJ was at the bow, pulling up a net filled with fishes onto the boat as John B was sipping a beer next to the fishing rod he had perched on the side of the HMS Pogue.

“She kneed Rafe in the balls!” Kie exclaimed. John B spit out his beer out and JJ whipped around to look at Kie. “Holy shit, really?” John asked from his side. JJ was now interested in this girl. If she could kick Rafe with no shame, then she was definitely worthy of the Pogue’s time.

“Yeah! He had been trying to flirt with her all night and then when she finally rejected him, he got all pissy and began to come at her.”

“And then she kicked him?” Pope inquired. Kie nodded her head vigorously. She took a sip from her beer before laying it down next to her and continuing on the bracelet she was making.

“I think we should hang out with her. She’s really cool.”

The Pogues never agreed to actually hang out with her, but JJ’s curiosity was peaked just enough for him to head over to the Wreck the following afternoon during Kie’s shift.

Opening the door to the busy restaurant, JJ spotted Kie behind the counter. He sat down in front of the bar and smiled at her. Kie just gave him a knowing look.

“She’s outside right now, but she’ll be back soon,” she said, turning her back on him to get some drinks for a couple of customers. JJ opened his mouth out wide, offended that she had said that (even if it was true).

“What? I only came here to see you!” he exclaimed. Kie rolled her eyes and noticed you walking back inside. Following Kie’s eyes, JJ spotted you for the first time. His mouth fell open again. This time in shock.

You were exactly his type. From your hair color to the shape of your face to your lips to everything. You were everything he had ever wanted in a girl.

“I can’t believe some of these customers!” you told Kie, not even sparing JJ a glance.

Kie laughed. She knew what you meant. “Yeah, tell me about it.”

Turning towards JJ, you smiled at him. “May I get you a drink, sir?”

JJ knew that you thought he was a customer, so he kept playing along with what you thought. “Yes, please. And also some fries, babygirl.”

At the nickname you rolled your eyes. This was what you had been talking to Kie the past few shifts you had together. Customers were always trying to flirt.

Kie laughed at your reaction before throwing the rag in her hands at JJ’s face. Shocked you turned to look at her. Noticing your expression she laughed even louder.

JJ removed the rag from his face and glared at Kie. “Wow, thanks, Kie. That was so nice of you.”

Kie continued to giggle while your questioning eyes darted between the blond boy and the brunette girl.

“That’s you get for trying to flirt with her, J.”

You were still confused. “Um, excuse me? Do you two know each other?”

Kie simply nodded while JJ continued to glare at her. “Yeah. This is JJ, my best friend.”

“Oh,” you blushed. You had been pretty rude to him before and now it turns out he’s Kie’s friend? “I’m sorry for being rude. I’m Y/N.”

JJ stared at your hand that was outstretched before you. He took it, shaking it up and down before relishing in its softness. He smiled, making you smile in return. Then you let go.

Before an awkward silence could fall over the three of you, JJ said, “I wasn’t joking about the drink and the fries, Y/N.”

The teasing tone in his voice made you laugh. Instead of heading towards the kitchen, you turned to Kie. “What do you think? Should we get him what he wants?”

Kie pretended to think before shaking his head. Once again JJ pretended to be offended before transforming his facial expression to resemble one of a small puppy.

“Your puppy eyes won’t get you what you want, JJ,” you said, already comfortable around him. He had an aura that was friendly and sweet, and you liked it. He seemed to be nice and funny and a good friend, which were all traits you cherished in people.

“You’re the first girls that have ever resisted my pleas,” JJ stated in a breathy voice. You giggled once again as Kie moved past you towards a table that was on her section of the restaurant.

“Yeah, right. I don’t believe that at all,” you lied. He was attractive, and you could bet that he had spent many nights with many girls. And that he had a line of girls hoping to be his next conquest.

“Are you kidding? Have you seen me? I’m the definition of hot,” he stated as a fact. Grabbing onto your tray, you began to move away from the counter.

“I’m working right now. I’m too busy to hear your dirty lies!”

As you walked away JJ checked you out, shaking his head. He was glad that you had taken his joking lightly, and even gladder that you had been able to respond to his banter so smoothly. Not only were you perfect look-wise, but you seemed to be perfect personality-wise as well.

Once you had returned to the counter you found JJ still there, playing around with a lighter. Kie was still not back and you guessed she was probably taking orders from new clients that had entered the Wreck recently.

“So, are you like an arsonist or something?” you asked him teasingly as you approached him. You had cleaned out most of your side of the restaurant, which meant that you could relax for a little. “You seem to like playing with the fire of that little lighter.”

JJ smirked. “I might be. I guess you’ll never truly know.”

You gasped, pretending to be scared for your life. He looked up at you as his fingers stilled, cocking an eyebrow in your direction. Once a smile broke out onto your face, his smile followed along.

*********************************************

“You know that the Lake Ness monster would win, right? Like, it’s obvious,” you said before heading to a table to take the family’s plates. You smiled at the small children and their parents before saying, “I’ll be right back to take your orders for dessert.”

JJ had been following you around the Wreck, trying to reply to your conversation. “You’re kidding, right? King Kong would win!”

You spun around to look at him. “How? I bet King Kong can’t swim, and we specifically said that they were in a body of water.”

You continued to make your way to the kitchen, pushing the doors open as JJ followed you right in. Nobody even flinched at his presence. He had been there every time you had been there during that day. He had been visiting the Wreck a lot more frequently since he had met you, always trying to make an excuse to see you. He would mostly steal Kie’s belongings when she was hanging around the Pogues and then take it back to the Wreck the following day. It was the best way to make sure to have an excuse to see you and talk to you.

JJ would not admit it to his friends, but over the past two weeks he had developed a crush on you. It began with a simple infatuation the first day he had met you, but it had developed to a full-on crush after having bantered with you for the first time.

Your childishness was something Kie lived for. There was never a boring moment between you two, and hearing your ridiculous arguments always made her day better. She was also happy for her blond friend. Kie could tell that seeing you was JJ’s favorite part of the day. The smile on his face every time he was around you or around someone that mentioned you was enough evidence of this.

“Have you seen King Kong’s muscles? That boy is ripped!” JJ exclaimed while putting his hands before him as if it was obvious. You still had your back towards him while you left the kitchen, but turned your head to stare at him. God, you thought.

You headed towards the table you had just been at a minute before and took your notepad from the pocket of your apron. “Okay, what may I get you for dessert?”

As the family relayed their order to you, JJ stood at your side waiting. He watched you write, the loopy and smooth letters of your writing covering the page. When he saw you hesitate regarding an order, he said, “Vanilla ice cream.”

You gave him a thankful smile as you wrote the last order down and went back to the kitchen. JJ was still hot on your trail. “So? What are you going to say to defend the Lake Ness monster?”

You laughed as JJ kept pushing. “Or are you ready to admit that I’m right?”

“God, no,” you exclaimed. You pinned the order at the wire that hung over the dessert station in the kitchen. “Look, is King Kong ripped? Yes.”

JJ did motions of victory as you turned towards him. “Are his arms going to be of any use if he can’t swim? No, they won’t.”

JJ froze in the middle of his victory dance. “Huh?”

You giggled for the millionth time around JJ. “I rest my case.”

You pushed past him and exited the kitchen. You stood behind the counter, grabbing a coke can and spilling its contents into two glasses.

You placed one on the counter for JJ and sipped the drink from the other cup. It was cold, which refreshed your sweaty body. JJ took his usual seat behind the counter and smiled at you before taking a huge gulp from his coke. Your nose scrunched up.

“How can you drink that so fast? The gas bothers me way too much to be able to do that.”

JJ burped. “I’m just too good at chugging. Years of practice at keggers, you know?”

You swatted your hand in the space between you and JJ, trying to get rid of the smell of coke he had burped out. “I bet you suck at chugging. You’re just saying that to make yourself sound badass or whatever.”

JJ laughed and exclaimed, “I swear it’s true! Just ask Kie about it.”

You giggled and took another sip from your cup. Suddenly a bell chimed from the kitchen. You stood up and headed inside taking the dessert order from the counter where it was perched on. Once outside you headed towards the table of the small family and placed the food down.

“And the vanilla ice cream,” you stated placing the tall glass on the table along with a spoon. “Is there anything else you would like?”

The mother of the family smiled at you before shaking her head. However, her small daughter said, “You and your boyfriend are really cute!”

You blushed. “My what?”

“Your boyfriend,” she repeated as if it was the most obvious and natural thing in the world. “The blond boy that follows you around!”

You turned to look at JJ. He already had his eyes on you and waved his hand when they connected. You blushed even harder than before and returned your body towards the girl.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you explained. She just shrugged and continued to lick her ice cream.

***************************************

It was the first time in a month that JJ wasn’t at the Wreck during your shift. You frowned at how bored you were. Everything seemed dimmer when he wasn’t around, and you felt yourself longing for his presence.

“Cheer up, baby,” Kie said to you. “He’s just busy. It’s not like he has another girlfriend or something.”

You sighed, rubbing your hands on your face before trying to slick your baby hairs back. “I know that. I just get bored.”

“Ugh, you guys are so in love it makes me nauseous,” she groaned, making you laugh.

“We aren’t in love. We’re just friends.”

Kie could only scoff. Nobody with eyes would ever believe that.

“You keep telling yourself that.”

You frowned at this. Did you and JJ really give off that impression?

You were brought out of your thoughts by a customer raising their hand and waving you over. You sighed, missing JJ.

**************************************

One day JJ showed up extremely bruised. It was a Thursday, which meant that it was your day closing up. The restaurant was almost empty and you gasped when you caught sight of him.

“JJ!” you sped to where he had collapsed. “Are you okay?”

JJ nodded slowly, but it soon turned into a shake of his head. “I got beat up.”

“Well, I can see that, Captain Obvious. What do I do to help you?”

JJ laughed at your response before simply hugging you. He breathed in and out, calming his heart. It had quite the opposite effect, as his heart began to hammer in his chest from being around you.

You wrapped your hands around his body for a few moments before pushing him back. “I’m pretty sure there’s a first aid kit somewhere.”

As you began to search for the kit, JJ clenched and unclenched his hands. He wasn’t going to tell you about his father, but he could at least seek comfort in you.

Placing the kit beside him, you began to clean JJ’s wounds. The ones on his face weren’t very big. The cuts had already begun to bleed less as you passed the cotton swab over them. The bruises were a bit bigger, and as you slowly raised his shirt (after asking for permission from him), you noticed he was completely littered with them.

You took out a tube of cream from the kit that said it would help get rid of bruising. Taking some of it in your hands, you used the fingers of the other to spread it over his skin as softly as you could. You didn’t want to hurt him more than he already was.

JJ tried to level his breathing. He hated feeling the way his father made him feel. Luke Maybank made JJ feel weak and sad and unloved. The exact opposite of what you made him feel.

Once you stood up and stared down at JJ you had the urge to hug him. So you did. He wrapped his arms around you. A tear fell down his cheek and onto the skin of your chest. His sniffles filled the silent air of the restaurant, and you were certain you heard the kitchen door close behind the last person leaving. Your hands moved up and down the blond’s back until you could no longer feel him shake.

He pulled away from you just enough to look up at you. He opened his mouth to speak his gratitude towards you, but you said, “I know, JJ.”

He closed his mouth again and pressed himself as close to your body as possible. His vulnerability shone new light upon him, revealing a side to the boy you had never seen. You wanted to help him and be there for him and just -- you wanted to love him.

Your realization made you freeze for a second, afraid of what it meant. However, not a second later, you realized that if it meant being with JJ than it was fine. He made it fine.

Trying to lighten the mood you said, “Are the other guys worse than you are?”

JJ laughed softly, tracing his fingers over the vertebrae of your back. His fingers circled them through your shirt. “You bet.”

His whisper was soft but he sounded strong. Because that was what he was. Strong.

You didn’t let go of him until the sun began to rise the following morning.

*************************************************

John B had noticed that JJ began to stay over at the Chateau less and less. He had decided that the next time he saw his blond best friend, he would ask him about it.

“Where have you been staying recently, man?” John B inquired the following day on the HMS Pogue. JJ was laying down at the bow of the small boat while Kie was seated on top of her cooler and Pope was resting against the seat behind the wheel.

“At Y/N’s,” JJ replied, not really thinking much about it. Kie perked up, as well as the two other boys.

“What do you mean ‘at Y/N’s’?” Kie wondered. Pope and John B weren’t really sure who Y/N even was.

JJ groaned. “I mean I’ve been staying at Y/N’s.”

“Are you sleeping with my friend, J?” Kie voiced out. That made everything click in John B’s and Pope’s mind.

“Holy shit, you got a girlfriend?” John B asked. He was surprised and shocked. JJ had always been a ladies’ man and never one to commit.

“No way,” Pope whispered.

JJ rubbed his hands over his face before putting his hands in his hair. “No, Kie. I’m not. But thanks for putting that image in my head and making me hard.”

The exasperated tone of his voice was enough to confirm that he was indeed not sleeping around with you.

Kie gagged at what JJ had said while John B let out a boisterous laugh.

“So what’s she like?” Pope asked.

“I’ve told you about her thousands of times already! Did you ever listen?” Kie questioned.

John B and Pope shared a blank look before muttering, “No, not really.”

It was JJ’s turn to laugh. Then he spoke, “She’s amazing, man. Y/N’s just easy to be with and she’s down to earth and easygoing and -- she’s perfect. Perfect for me at least.”

John B cooed. “Our little J is in love!!!!”

Pope laughed and began to poke at JJ’s side, teasing him about you. Kie joined in as well and noticed how red JJ’s cheeks were. He was blushing.

When everyone calmed down, Kie asked, “You actually love her, don’t you?”

JJ could only nod. He really did.

*************************************************

“Oh my God, shut up! You know burritos are better than tacos!” you shrieked at the blond in front of you.

You were closing up the Wreck, about to head home with JJ. He had arrived in the early afternoon and had been making conversation with you. Obviously you both fell into your normal antics. Childish banter.

“No way,” JJ laughed. He grabbed onto your hand and began to walk home with you. “I know for a fact that tacos are better. They are way more - I don’t know - fresh than burritos are.”

You looked down at your clasped hands and smiled. The past few weeks had been different compared to the first seven months of your relationship with JJ. He had been holding your hand and hugging you for longer than usual. And you absolutely loved it.

“How about we just agree to disagree for a change,” you offered to him, looking up into his baby blue eyes.

He smiled back at you and gave in to what you had said. “Okay.”

You walked in silence for a while, turning down a small street on the Cut where your house was. Your hands were swinging between your bodies and you wondered whether he felt the same things you did for him.

“What are we doing tonight?” he asked you. Normally you would always have a plan: a movie to watch or something to bake. JJ had always just followed along with whatever you wanted.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “We can do whatever you want to do.”

JJ smiled at this. All he wanted to do was lay in bed and hug you. So that was exactly what he did. After each of you had taken a shower and changed into something to sleep in, he pulled you into your bed and smiled at you. His arms went around your body and pulled you close to him.

You felt the sudden urge to kiss him. But you didn’t act upon it. You only stared at him.

He opened one of his eyes. “What are you doing?”

You sighed. You thought of what Kie had said to you earlier that week. He loves you, her voice rang in your head. I know he does, and I know you love him, too.

“I have a confession,” you began. “I really want to kiss you right now.”

JJ snapped his eyes open. “Oh.”

Silence floated around you only for a second before JJ spoke again. “Why don’t you?”

You stared at him blankly. “What?”

“Why don’t you kiss me?”

“Oh, um, I don’t know. I’m nervous, maybe?”

JJ laughed at the stressed tone of your voice. You were going to begin to rant soon, so JJ decided to prevent that from happening. He leaned forward and connected your lips for a moment. He began to pull back, but you wrapped your hands around his neck, bringing him back towards you. His lips were soft and gentle and sleepy. Your’s were too.

When you broke apart the both of you smiled.

“That wasn’t so bad, Maybank.”

JJ laughed and brought you to rest on his chest. “Don’t be so childish.”

You scoffed, offended. “I thought you loved my childishness.”

“I do,” JJ mumbled, drifting off. “I love all of you.”

You smiled softly, pressing one last little peck on JJ’s lips before laying down and dozing off.

“I love all of you, too.”

#outer banks #obx #obx netflix #jj maybank #rudy pankow #jj x reader #jj x y/n #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x reader

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ranmanjuu · 4 years

Note

hi! can you do a gen z mc who got injured at the protests and have them elaborate on what the protests were about to the oda forces? i got tear gassed at a protest so your writing is actually helping me feel better!

tw : injuries from police br*tality, heavy r*cism

first of all i hope you’re okay!! i’m so sorry for taking so long i hope you’re still here reading this ehhh,,. i personally don’t know much of ‘getting injured in protests’ other than rubber bullets and tear gassing—and for anyone out there protesting (also considering recent things that have happened in my country,,,), please be safe out there!

ᅠᅠ

—nobunaga:

the first encounter you had, he didn’t really notice it. he had a lot of things on his plate, mostly about his assassination attempt, you know, the usual.

it’s only when he invites you to his tenshu to know more about his most interesting chatelaine. after all, the moment his life was out of danger, the immediate groan out of you raised a brow.

in your defense, going back from a protest then just sent back 500 years in the past did put you in a pissy mood. the injustice was enough bullshit, you didn’t want to deal with this right after.

and,,, your response was probably too snarky for a man in power like him. but that’s what compelled him to bring you to the castle. maybe it was spite, or just dangerous curiosity. no one’s spoken to him in such,,, rude manners before.

being all past the whole, chasing-you-down-just-for-you-to-come-to-my-sickass-castle, the dragged-500-years-into-the-warring-states-period, constant-wars-everywhere, and everything in between, you’ve managed to,, calm down decently, at least. you’re just really confused as to why he called you in.

through your slippery tounge, you accidentally let it slip that you’re from the future; great job! mission one from sasuke already failed. but—you’ve dug your grave, now you have to lie in it.

upon listening to the rest of your explanation, naturally, nobunaga starts asking questions.

after a series of them, mostly about general stuff like technology, etc., he hits you with a curveball. “what is that?” he asks, observing the small patch of reddened skin.

you’ve been shot by a rubber bullet prior to the time traveling. you wager that they were aiming for the neck—a highly fatal area to hit, even with a rubber bullet, mind you—but you were lucky enough to only be hit near the collar bone. still—to say it’s inexcusable is an understatement.

“huh—?” you follow his eyes, then trail your fingers on the edge as you show more of your injury, “. . .got injured a while back. asshole cops think they can just. . .fuckin’. . .”

your sentence turns too faint for him to hear clearly, he only knows that you feel anger from your tone. all he does is gaze passively as the steam comes out of your, slowly.

“what happened exactly?”

and with that one question, he’s in for quite the story. you start off in the beginning; what triggered it all. the injustice brought by those who are said to protect the people, the same ones that shed blood because they knew they could get away with it. then, the protests done by the ones who wanted justice, equality, something that should just be the norm at this point.

and then, the horrible attacks the cops’ve done to hose who protested,,, the mere thought gets your blood boiling, really. no one poised any kind of harm, it was a peaceful protest—and yet they still hurted, perhaps even killed. and they get away with it.

“. . .and i sure as hell ain’t gonna die to some bullshit system. i’ll keep on going at it until people can stop dying so. . .needlessly like that.”

he pauses after hearing you. his eyes have a vague sense of scrutinize, but certainly not at you. "and you still continue to go, even if it results in injuries for you?”

you look back at him, determination burning like a passion, “as long as less people will die of discrimination; as long as our cause is heard in the end—i’ll sacrifice anything for it. for equality.”

the silence rings for minutes.

but the hand on your shoulder quickly strays your mind back to him. to your surprise, a daring smile, almost a smirk, pulled his lips, “you are braver than many men that i’ve met. fiery and passionate also. i do believe you’ll be quite the addition here.”

and while you raise an eyebrow to that, your heart settles as he ends it with one final thing, “you’ve earned my utmost respect.”

ᅠᅠ

—hideyoshi:

he would have been highly alerted in your presence—had it not been the fact that your eye was bruised and injured. it was fresh, the patch of skin having not turn purple or black yet, but it was enough to signal that it could be a fatal wound.

medics were sent your way by his command, and given the opportunity, he checked in on you frequently. the culprit of the attempted assassination was yet to be found—so he just assumed that you were a poor civilian caught in the crossfire.

you were rather crude to him, but he brushed it all off. you must’ve been some sort of stressed out after just saving his lord, so he gave you space and went to do other things.

it’s when they reconvene under nobunaga’s order did he find out about the decision for your fate.

“my lord, are you sure we should bring them back to azuchi? perhaps they have a place in a town around here.”

“—not really.” hideyoshi’s eyes filled with surprise and concern as a small response came out of you, with eyes looking away from everyone in the tent with lips bitten anxiously and brows stitched together.

so it ended on you going to azuchi along with them. because really, even if you didn’t want to, what were you to do? you had no place in the sengoku, and you’ve forgotten all about your scouts lessons back in middle school to survive in the forest.

and while you insist on working rather than just be royalty basically, hideyoshi is the one who persuades you to at least rest first. with a sigh, you agree.

from then on, you find him visiting you quite often between his breaks. most of the time, asking how you’ve been, making light conversations over tea, and sometimes fussing over the smallest things. it’s a gradual change you’ll get used to—from the failed assassination to the weird, home-y feeling he brings.

it didn’t take long for his curiosity to push him. one day, with the usual cup of tea, the silence passes for quite the moment until he spoke up, “if i may ask, where exactly,,, did you get that?”

he doesn’t quite point to it, but you know what he’s talking about. half your vision is covered now, from ieyasu’s work on trying to make it better. you stare in the cup, swishing the tea around, “. . .my town had, uhhh, ‘problems’.”

he listened intently as you reworded the current real life events. just change the cops to guard, the bullets to blunt sticks(?), etc. the core of it you kept the same, the discrimination, the unruly deaths and wounds of the innocent.

all the while, hideyoshi looks at you with slightly parted lips and eyes that spell a bit of disbelief. such compassion don’t exist in a lot of people—much less a majority of civillians from a town. he thought he’d’ve heard about it, but you did say it was quite the small one, far away.

as you finish your long explanation, your face was scrunched up in a scowl, remembering the scene at the time. the cops came, a highly dangerous situation; but you weren’t leaving just like that. not until you got hit by a bullet did you go back home—and look where you are now.

“—.” hideyoshi calls out your name, snapping you to reality. you dart your attention to him, his face filled with concern, worry—but also slight anger and a distant sense of fondness.

“. . .when nobunaga unites the country, we’ll be sure to aid you. we’ll stop them from hurting anyone else. so until then, please stay with us.”

the sentiment brought warmth to your heart, but you knew the truth. he wouldn’t be able to, the wormhole was a big separation in that. even so, you shook your head, “i don’t,,, uhh, think i can stay for that long.”

his brows stitch together in confusion, “and why is that?”

“. . .i want to go back as soon as i can. and—i only have one chance to do such a thing, and never again.” upon your answer, his eyes widened a bit. no further questions were asked about that, as your own expression said you didn’t want to talk about it.

“but—you could be in danger if you go back.”

“i don’t care.” the tea is cold as you set it down, “. . .i don’t wanna,,, just escape and turn a blind eye to it, i think. it may be safer for me here, but—i still want to help back there. whether or not i’m injured is,,, a means to an end, for me.”

that’s when every suspicion he could’ve had about you dissolved. the determination and righteousness that burned so brightly in your voice was irreplaceable. along with that, was a very deep respect for you. he serves nobunaga because he believed in equality among everyone, and it seems so do you. even if you’re willing to sacrifice yourself—to see a better world where everyone is happy.

a beat passes. two. with a sigh, hideyoshi’s hardened gaze relents back into the strange warmness, hid hand reaching out to ruffle your hair. “well, i don’t think i agree with you diving into potential danger, but just so you know. if you ever need help, you can always reach to us, alright?”

you breath out a chuckle, “. . .of course.”

ᅠᅠ

—mitsuhide:

your whole entire body was sore even before the wormhole sent you back. not to mention, just after that, you had to carry a full-armored man out of a burning building with someone trying to kill said man.

so to say you were disoriented was quite an understatement.

you didn’t even feel it until days have passed. and at this point, you’ve gone under mitsuhide’s tutoring. being sat down for a long time made it painfully obvious that your body was still healing—but you’ve sang this song a million times before. in which the soreness lingered for a while, and then it’d disappear. you can bear with it.

that is, until he started training you in battle.

the tanegashima practice was fine, if a bit triggering by the gunshots. but you saw it the same as archery. however, sparring on the other hand,,,

yeah. the first break you took, you already felt every single part of you reeling. mitsuhide wasn’t ruthless with you, but you figure he wasn’t being soft either.

in truth, prior to arriving in the sengoku period, your body had taken a hit in a protest. you didn’t get caught in the tear-gassing crossfire, or got shot by a rubber bullet. rather, a police car had arrived at the scene and begun to drive forward into the crowd. it didn’t become a car crash site, no deaths occurred to your knowledge (thankfully).

but you were one of the ones in the front row seats, you fell to the ground and took some damage in a number of places. they were more of inconveniences than anything.

still—forcing your body to fight a trained swordsman was not a good idea.

and the fox has an eye for these things, sensing when his enemies are weak. at least it proves to be a disadvantage if you really are dangerous. his eyes linger on you as you rub your sore spots with the occasional groan.

“the little mouse seems to be wounded.” he says. it’s clear he’s trying to extract some kind of information about the person who just popped out one day, “pray tell, what might be the cause of such?”

“i got, uhhh,” you can’t say car, those don’t exist yet— “knocked down by a horse.” admittedly, a horse is probably more dangerous than a car—but you deal with what you have.

“is that so.” with the smile and narrowed eyes of his, you knew that he didn’t buy it. but to your defense, your state clearly proves it in some way—so he deduced that you weren’t telling the complete truth.

and he welcomes it. it’d be his absolute pleasure to unravel the mystery.

eventually, he does. in promise to keep your secret away from others, you keep his.

“so, little mouse,” the night has yet to pass, but you wish it did. your stuff was spilled in front of you, all evidence of you coming from the future, “was that cover-up story about the horse a lie?”

it’s a rhetorical question; he knew the answer already. still, you roll your eyes, “of course, we rarely use those in the future. a police car hit a crowd, and i was caught in it.”

promptly realizing he doesn’t know anything, a lengthy explanation ensued.

“oh my. and you said this, ‘car’ drove into a crowd? that’s highly dangerous, is it not?”

“it is!” your calm words slowly dissolve, your hands now waving in gestures, “and guess what, it’s the cops that do it! uhh—guards in old terms, i guess. y’know the people who’re said to supposedly protect us? yeah, hit us with a car.”

mitsuhide isn’t the most curious about the future. but he is a bit confused about the context.

and so you continue, explaining everything. from the start, to where you were, along with what your thoughts are on the whole situation

through all that, he stays silent, not commenting until you were thoroughly finished. you can’t read his expression—so you stare at him, waiting for even a word.

suddenly, he smiles, “well, looks like our little mouse is quite the something, aren’t you?” before you could respond with anything, he pats you on the head with a strange sense of softness, “pureness and ideals like you are rare in this world.”

in truth, he agrees. he’s someone who’s faced discrimination head on from being in the lower class—and he fights for a world that his lord would like to see. even if he’ll remain in the dark, for his stained, dark hands would only corrupt the purity. at least, so he thinks.

you look back with pursed lips and a slight frown, “then i’ll help make it more common. if it results in people being treated as people, i’ll do it.”

you don’t hear it, but he draws in a sharp breath. his eyes are muddled—with what, you don’t know—but you drop the thought as he lifts the hand off of your head with a chuckle, “i will say, i didn’t quite expect this.”

they say eyes are the window of the soul. while he had his closed most of the time—you managed to peek in a small bit of warmth and fondness in them.

ᅠᅠ

—masamune:

you came to the sengoku period with a sprained ankle. which, in a time where war was rampant, probably wasn’t a good thing to have. especially when you’re being dragged into battle just for the fun of it.

although you admit you made yourself seem tougher than you were (with you being used to injuries like this before, so you’ve grown used to gritting your teeth), you still curse masamune to hell and back. no, you do not care if you’re on a horse or just in camp, your foot hurt like shit either way.

naturally, you wouldn’t take that for long.

thus the next time he planned to take you along (you could already see the glint in his eye), you snapped at him. well—much less ‘snap’ and more of ‘telling him off rather harshly ft. a sprinkle of swearing’.

“listen, assfart, my ankle’s been killing me, and if i’m going by that analogy, you’re practically desecrating it’s corpse and grave. so for the love of god, stop dragging me into battles!”

an expression of surprise went on his face for a moment, before it morphed to his usual grin, “is that so? seems like out kitten likes to run around and ended up hurting themselves.”

“not my fault they shot me in the fuckin’ ankle. . .” you mutter without a second thought under your breath, which he, unfortunately, heard.

“they shot you, lass?”

seeing his ever so slightly widened eye, you pursed your lips, “yeah. nothing too serious.”

even so, you see the way his eyes narrow with a glint—more so of excitement than anything else, “still though lassie, with you being under nobunaga, i doubt they’ll get away with hurtin’ ya.”

“what does that mean?”

fingers comb through your hair in a wild pat, accompanied with a fanged grin, “they won’t be alive for hurtin’ the lord’s precious lucky charm.”

your lips pursed as a frown pulls upon your brows, “i don’t want them to get away solely for me being nobunaga’s ‘lucky charm’.”

“and why is that, kitten?”

his eyes slightly lit up at your hardened and serious aura as you closed your eyes with a sigh. “the same people who hurt me are the same ones who’ve hurt many others, on the basis that they believe they’re above them; over a stupid thing like race. and i won’t be just letting it slide, even if i can’t fight or anything.”

the flame in your eyes are ones that masamune has grown to recognize; the anger and bitterness as you look back on a memory, only to fill up your heart with passion.

“i’ll die if it means that they’ll be punished and everyone is treated the same.”

silence rings past, the wind slowly becomes a solid aura in the air. stunned, he leaves a small chuckle and pats your head,

“the lord made a wonderful decision to bring ya here, lass.”

—ieyasu:

going by his usual self, he didn’t care much when you arrived, other than you were someone nobunaga picked up from his failed assassination. however, him being an expert in things health related, some things didn’t go by with him.

first of all, your eyes were a slight fade of red. at first he figured it was a leftover from honno-ji’s smokes, but as the days tick by, its persistence is now rather worrying. they should’ve faded away by now, so he thought.

and it became more and more painfully obvious, at least to him. the way you rubbed your eyes sometimes, them tearing up at random intervals—and even you squinting at rare occasions that, unless you had an eye problem like mitsunari, shouldn’t be there.

a seed of worry was planted, although he never expressed it. after all, you were being dragged into battle, where dust and more smoke can easily go into your already bugged eyes.

therefore one day, wordlessly, he took you to his workplace. at first, you were confused; ieyasu hasn’t exactly talked to you a lot.

he picks up a small bottle, along with a cup-like lid, “use this, and wash your eyes with it. and by that i mean just tilt it up and blink when it goes into your eyes.”

you just blinked a few times, stunned more than anything. “,,,, why?”

“you think i don’t notice?” he scoffs, “you’ve been rubbing your eyes like crazy, and it’s past the point where your eyes should even be red since the honno-ji incident. either your eyes have been having problems way before, or you’re just dumber and clumsier than i thought.”

“hey! it’s not my fault, for any of the incidents!”

“so there are multiple instances?”

the judgemental look sent your way was something that your stubborn mind won’t back out from, even if it mean having to somewhat explain your situation.

“w, well, there have been several uhm.... arson crimes in my town, i can’t help but be in the vicinity.”

if arson crimes translated to tear gassings, yes, there were many.

“arson crimes? your town is,,, jeez.”

“it’s not the citizens’ fault, look to the fuckin’ guards of our village for that.” the tone had immediately shifted from a kind of flustered banter, to immediate bitter undertones.

immediately, the silence rang on. ieyasu sat there, looking into you as much as he could, with his bare bones knowledge of you. the pieces were there, and it wasn’t hard to put them together. for a moment, he wondered if you were more than the unfortunate one to be pulled into this mess. but if your town was as much a mess as that. . . perhaps it was for the better.

“. . .then you’re planning to stay here, right?” he had his own opinions and thoughts of someone taking advantage of a high-powered lord taking them in, but eh, he thinks, people will do what they have to do to survive—

“not really. assuming nobunaga would even let me go in the first place.”

ieyasu stood there, stunned, “. . .you’re planning to go back to your own town? even from all the danger there?”

“yeah.” you look at him with a slight imbalanced expression, “i don’t have anywhere else to go, other than there, so. . .”

“but why not stay here? it’s safer, you do know that right?”

“of course,” you sigh, “but it’s still my home, all things considered. yeah, there’s a whole lot of corrupt things going on but, they’re still humans, the people i live with. i don’t wanna run away from it, i’d just. . .i’d like to try and help them also.:

ieyasu stays silent as you lean back to the wall, looking out the door with a fond and melancholic gaze, “the,,, guards in my town are doing this just cause of their stupid beliefs and whatever. superiority complex and whatnot. and people are dying because of it, only for things that they can’t control and. . . it’s just so bullshit.”

you turn back to him, with a strong light blaring in your eyes; filled with hope and determination, “wouldn’t you want to go back and help them? even if i get injured, as long as people will be treated the same and won’t face death for something miniscule, i consider it worth it.”

you’ve never seen him surprised at you; at least not in this sense. usually it’d be surprise at some mistake you did, making an offhand crude comment to it but here. . .here it’s partnered with the smallest bit of sparkle. like a hidden respect for you behind his uncaring persona.

you only look as he slowly stands up, his shadow befalling on you. with the same, yet subtle, amount of shine in his eyes as in yours, he sighs softly and takes your hand,

“at least if you’re gonna go into that kind of battlefield, let me teach your ditzy self how to take care of injuries first.”

—mitsunari:

your sudden arrival already aroused questions, as you’d appeared before nobunaga sporting a bloodied cut on your cheek. at the time, they took the assumption that the assassin did it to you.

and although it was fussed for a bit, it was quickly covered up with some cloth fitting for the period. and then, everything went as normal.

taking up job as mitsunari’s personal caretaker wasn’t one you’d reject, because really, how bad could it be? but the man himself kept insisting that you don’t, added that not only were you a special charm of nobunaga’s, you were also injured from the night of honno-ji. he couldn’t do that to you; not after such a stressful night.

and yet you were stubborn as well. with the final decision being up to nobunaga, which you accepted wholeheartedly, of course, you now had the role to take care of mitsunari.

although his. . .clumsy nature was one that you should be worried for, you find it that he often checks up on you, apologizing each time he could’ve potentially hurt you. and each time, you waved it off and assured him that yes, you were fine.

but you can see it in his eyes, the tint of guilt and worry that lingers on before he succumbs to his reading trance. truth is, the injury is just a mild inconvinience of pain, so there really wasn’t much to fuss over.

in his eyes, your degree has gotten much higher than before. whether your wound would’ve affected your job didn’t matter to him; it was the fact that you were hurt in the first place. you shouldn’t have to take care of him when you needed to take care of yourself! or so is what he thinks to himself.

and so he tries to make it up to you. you need reading lessons? he’ll try to squeeze it in his schedule! or maybe it’s time for a break, he’ll tour you around in the bustling city of azuchi. it feels like whenever you need something, he’s always there next to you, and you can’t help but feel charmed by it.

mitsunari isn’t one to notice details about a person if it isn’t in a situation like in battle. but he’s gotten very sharp at seeing the slight reactions and how you’re doing; and here’s what he’s picked up on:

other than the wound on your cheek, your stomach area seems to be bruised or something close to that. you might’ve not told anyone about it, cause he hasn’t heard a peep of that anywhere, not even when he kept asking politely (or bugging, in the man’s eyes) for ieyasu’s information.

so fuck it, he just decides to ask you one day.

“why do you have an injury on your stomach area?”

it was a lesson hour, you didn’t expect him to throw,,,that curveball. maybe more of, what does this character mean? or how do you write this word? but. . .

“uhm—an incident that happened before the whole honno-ji thing.”

“and you never told anyone, even lord ieyasu?”

“n, no, kinda.”

he’s serious than before, and yet there’s something in his eyes that’s very inviting, inviting you to tell your feelings and story, inviting you to a hug of warmth and safety.

and you succumb.

“. . . things have been happening in my town before i came here.” then what was once a lesson sessioin, turned into you explaining what you and the world was going through before coming to the sengoku, with many phrasings replaced of course.

“is that so. . .” he mutters, “i haven’t heard a case like this, although i don’t doubt there aren’t any. . .i should do some reasearches.. .”

“i-it’s fine, really. . .!”

you managed to convince him that it’s fiiine, he shouldn’t read up on it and just focus on his works (since it would render your story false pretty quickly,,).

“but you still haven’t explained how you got the injury.”

“oh yeah. i got kicked down by one of the guards and then i got this as a result.” you pointed at the covered up wound, now probably just a scar, on your cheek. mitsunari goes silent, then a slow and silent hum resonates in him.

you’ve never quite seen the look in his eyes as you did. they were sharper, even if you weren’t situated in a battlefield, and you could see the gears turn in his brain. for what, you’re not quite sure.

“mitsu,,,?”

and with just your voice, his clouded eyes clear up, and he sends his angelic smile your way, “it’s fine now, lady—” his voice rings gently like bells, “you’re now safer. .even if you want to go back there. but i’ll be here by your side to protect you always, so please remember.”

“. . .heh, alright. of course i will.”

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sapphicambitions · 4 years

Note

hey! hey! why do you hate the television format??

Ah yes, thank you for reminding me

I would like to state for the record before we begin that this is my personal reasons for not enjoying the format of television and not “why television is bad'' because im sure there's many people whose reasoning for liking TV is the same as my reasons for disliking them. please dont get mad at me if you disagree lmao

I feel like the short answer could be: “I have a degree in theatre and i prefer books”

But really i hate the fact that the story is subject to change via outside forces.

In a well written play or book, there is a beginning, middle and end. It is a complete story that has been well thought out and woven together. Every detail is important and makes sense dramaturgically. You have your characters and your plot and nothing about that changes. We’re taught in Theatre School (TM) that the playwright is the first artist, and everything goes back to the playwright’s words. The story cannot change because of outside forces and it will not change over time. Once a book has been published, it is done. And yeah in theatre, a play can be done by many people with multiple interpretations of the story but it always goes back to the playwright’s words as they are the first artist and it is about honoring those words. Yada yada. you get it.

TV is always subject to change. Actors leave because there was drama on set or because they have other projects to work on. Writers change and the tone of the show changes. Or they go to a different network and the show changes. You never know how long the show is actually going to go so it could be cancelled in the middle of an important plot they never got to wrap up or the show could extend past the original plot idea and the seasons get more and more ridiculous as they’re just trying to come up with shit to do so they can keep the show running.

Like supernatural, which went on for far too fucking long and just kept spitting out nonsense when they could have wrapped up in season five.

Like the Vampire Diaries, where the main fucking character Elena Gilbert left the show (which was ridiculous!!) or when her little brother Jeremy was just like written out of the show and then never talked about again like what the hell

Like Timeless, which got cancelled after two seasons and left so many loose ends (they had to like, beg for a movie to wrap everything up)

Like the Magicians, which just, like, sigh. Y’all know. I don’t want to get into it. Y’all know.

Hell, even Parks and Rec, with Ann and Chris leaving the show. If Parks and Rec had been a book Ann would have never left!!! Never!!!

Characters get pregnant because the actors who play them get pregnant and suddenly THAT’s the plot line of the season. (Wynonna Earp, Brooklyn 99, The Office, How I Met Your Mother, Sex and The City, Bones, Friends, The Big Bang Theory, Once Upon A Time, Charmed, The Vampire Diaries, Parks and Rec, Grey’s Anatomy, The X-Files, Yes I Looked Up This List To Prove My Point)

If an actor breaks their foot then the writers have to change the plot. Everything about the story is subject to change due to outside forces and that might be a selling point for some people but i do not vibe with it!!

And also, you’re watching the story unfold over the course of time and something could change halfway through the season and they abandon the really cool plot they were working on to suddenly set up a way for them to kill off the main character of the show. (okay apparently i do want to get into it with the magicians).

Like call me a snob but i like a concise arch! Something that the show is working towards, the story that they’re telling and the thesis of the show, and the end goal they’re working towards. I just honestly don’t like the “stories wrap up in one season and will we get another? Maybe? Okay yes we will so let’s come up with a new big bad for the characters to fight who’s got ideas” or like if you get seven seasons into a show and they’re like “And here’s my long lost sister that ive literally never mentioned before but we needed something exciting for the plot so here she is!” like i hate that shit. I know my old roommate loooooved when TV shows pulled twists like that so im not saying it’s bad writing im saying I personally hate this style of writing.

I just keep throwing in these disclaimers so no one gets pissy at me lmao

I think what caused me to realize and put a name to these feelings was watching the Schitt’s Creek Finale. I love Schitt’s Creek because it feels like one concise story. The characters all grow and develop and have an arch and at the natural conclusion of that arch, the story wrapped up. I loved that shit. It was a game changer for me. Any other show would have kept going and the tone of the show would have been totally different and frankly im glad they wrapped it up when they did and as they did. It was a perfect ending.

I haven’t really watched the Good Place but I’m told similar things about it.

Avatar the Last Airbender which we can all agree is the greatest show ever written had a clear plotline throughout the whole series and a goal they were working towards even if they did have side plots, it was all building up to one endgame. And it was stellar.

I also recently rewatched parks and rec which is one of my favorite shows of all time and i do truly love it but like the whole point of the show originally was that they were gonna build a park and there were times in the show that they just totally forgot about that goal to work on other storylines until they were like ANN’S LEAVING WE GOTTA BREAK GROUND. That’s annoying! And once parks and rec started getting really popular and making more money they were able to be like “let’s send them to england! France! DC! Scotland! San Francisco! Let’s bring in Michelle Obama and Joe Biden and John McCain and Madeleine Albright! Which like all of that was really cool and some of the best parts of the series but also just another example of how the show changed over time as they got more name recognition and money.

Also lmao i just had the thought that it doesn't really matter what community did because the point of that show was to be batshit and they succeeded spectacularly. What a good time. Just had to add that in there.

So yeah that’s why i hate the television format because everything is subject to change from the plot to the tone to the writing to the characters and a lot of times there isn’t a clear narrative arch as they’re just coming up with nonsense to keep the show going and i just don’t vibe with that.

So if i hate the television format why do i still watch it, you ask? You never shut about tv shows on your blog and yet here you are declaring that you hate them. What’s up with that. Well, the answer is simple. I have major FOMO. Also lmao quite honestly i just recently came to these conclusions and put words to these feelings during the quarantine so after 23 years of being pissy at tv shows all the time i honestly probably will watch less of it. I probably wont stop completely tho. Ive already said that im not gonna watch tv shows with queer characters until the show is over and its been confirmed for me that the show treats its queer characters and viewers with respect and dignity and i stand by that. (It’s the only reason why ive started to watch black sails.) im for sure never watching another cw show again. I have literally never finished a CW show because something has happened in it halfway through that pissed me off so much i never finished the series

So that’s my opinion does anyone also feel the same way? I feel like im crazy

#lesbianlaynie #laynie rose answers #laynie's essays #why i hate the television format

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ootori-sibs · 3 years

Text

Kyoya's second shot

Episode ten: Tamaki makes a discovery!

Tw: self harm (mentioned and implied) starving (mentioned)

The next session was more peaceful, he didn't have to talk to any guests, he could just watch Tamaki, whilst stirring his coffee lazily. Tamaki's way of acting evil was incredibly satisfying to watch; he kept pressing gentle kisses to the prop skull, running his tongue against his perfect teeth, the way he purred his words towards the girls- playing up his natural accent to make the ladies swoon, he drew his words out, lounging about in lazy regality. Kyoya had no idea Tamaki could do that, it was incredible… nearly enough to make him drool if he was honest. He wanted nothing but to sit there under Tamaki and let him woo him like that… but that could never happen. Kyoya looked at the girls, the guests, laughing and giggling and watching Tamaki with wide eyes… and he was consumed by jealousy. How dare they, how dare they get to enjoy so much attention from Tamaki, whilst Kyoya has to sit there, just wishing. They're so horrid, so vapid, they're worse than Haruhi, they don't even deserve his hatred.

Oh. The coffee stirrer had shattered in his hand, he growled under his breath and pushed the cup away from him. He turned to his laptop for comfort, opening the finances, he's not doing anything, just toying with the graphs and such. He takes out his phone as well, opening the council group chat.

Shadow king: Seika, I need you to do something. Now.

Woman#2: Ooh, someone's pissy, what happened?

Shadow king: That is irrelevant, just do something.

Hurt her.

Woman#2: You want me to hurt her? How? Are you sure?

Shadow king: I don't care how. Just do it.

He put his phone back in his bag, hands shaking from the anger. He wanted to leave, he felt angry, he felt he was going to scream. He took his glasses off, rubbing his face and running his hands through his hair, deep breaths, he just has to take deep breaths.

"Senpai?" Haruhi's soft voice cut through his calming breaths, sparking the rage in him again, he looked at her, putting his glasses back on. She looked worried, a soft smile on her face, she had no idea how much she was hated, "are you alright?"

He tenses up, did he have the strength to lie? He felt like punching her in the face here and now, but he knew he couldn't do that. He was tapping his nails on the table, trying not to tell her to fuck off, his lack of ease was clear to her, as he gritted his teeth and forced a smile. "Of course I am, why wouldn't I be? I'm just sorting out the finances right now, did you need anything Haruhi?"

She paused, sensing the danger though being unable to see why, her smile turned to a frown, "I… no, I just wanted to check on you, I'll… go back to my table now." She took a few steps back before turning and heading back to her customers, she should have been focusing on them anyway. Kyoya felt a little worried about how she'd clearly noticed something, wondering if she realised how much he hated her.

He couldn't focus on anything, nothing at all, so instead he took out his notebook, beginning to doodle. It was a human, it had sharper features then a human; a pronounced nose, a tiny neck, very sharp shoulder blades- Haruhi was softer than that, was he drawing Haruhi? He fixed the shoulder, smudging the offending ink with his finger and rounding off the shoulders. He focused on her hair, it was similar to Tamaki's, but uglier, flatter, brown. Her expression was one of disdain, one Kyoya had never seen on her face before, she was disgusted, like he knew she would be when she realised what he'd been doing- if she realised, commoners were never smart. Was the school badge on the wrong side? He always struggled with mirroring, it was hard to remember. Her eyes were bleeding silver from his pencil, he would have grabbed a pen but he had no blue, he didn't want to touch his red, it was the only red pen he had- Haruhi didn't deserve it.

She was disgusting, selfish, she didn't deserve Tamaki, she was just some dumb commoner… commoner, commoner, he said that word a lot, but Yuuichi had said it was regular- just regular people, they were the minority in real life. It was a strange feeling, they all had so much power yet there were so much more commoners in the world, it was strange, it was… odd. His breaths shuddered as he wrote words, the same word, over and over and over and over again around his sketch.

Commoner.

She's a commoner, and he hates her.

The session ended after a while, and the tables were pushed together, guess Tamaki had ordered a meeting. The others had gone to get dressed, so Kyoya hesitantly followed. When he got to his corset, he really didn't want to leave it, besides, the others hardly ever do any inventory so it's not like they'd notice it missing. He toyed with the tightness for a little, before slipping his shirt and blazer over it, something sparking in his mind as he put his tie on. An idea that led him to pull said tie as tight as it could possibly go… then loosen it a little- a tie isn't as safe as a corset apparently.

He took his place at the table, opening his laptop and closing his book, "so, what's this meeting about then Tamaki?"

Tamaki paused, looking unsure for a moment, there was something about how he'd looked at Kyoya that made him suddenly very uneasy, "well, just about everything and anything, just thought I'd switch it up, cause I uh- I wanna do something on Friday!" He smiles, clearly having just made that up, "care to give us a finance report?"

Now that was something Kyoya could do, he nodded, opening the finances graphs and charts and tables. He took out a remote for the projector that sat in the ceiling, waiting until Tamaki got the whiteboard out for him, then he projected his screen onto it. "So," he actually smiled, he loved talking about numbers, "we're actually doing rather well, profits are up and I have to say welldone, all of you are contributing to the profits equally, although of course, Tamaki is still number one." He pulled up a chart depicting each hosts individual profits, complete with images; obviously he'd manipulated the graphs, the twins were actually doing better than Tamaki by 2% but the graphs only purpose was was to make Tamaki feel good, and to hide the fact that Kyoya himself literally avoided hosting at all costs. The hosts seemed to enjoy the graph, though Haruhi had frowned, to which Kyoya nodded, "unfortunately, Haruhi has been slacking recently, is there a reason for this?"

All eyes were on Haruhi, and Kyoya felt incredibly vindicated by this. She paused, blinking in surprise, "well I don't think I was falling behind, I could've sworn I did more hosting then you have senpai…" Her tone was a pondering one, but Kyoya felt the rage spark up again.

"Well there's no need to be so rude about it," Kyoya glanced around, hand on his heart, maybe it was time to take a risk, "you've been awfully spiteful towards me lately and I'm not sure why, is something the matter Haruhi?" He kept his tone soft and almost hurt sounding, hand pressed against his head as the other loosely held the remote for the projector, he did his best to paint Haruhi as the aggressor- he could tell Tamaki was still too hurt from her distance on Sunday to stand up for her, but he looked torn, not sure who to believe. The twins glanced at each other, then between Kyoya and Haruhi, they'd been privy to the discussion that morning and were likely still hesitant. Honey and Mori were the wild card, Mori was unreadable as always but Honey looked sympathetic to Kyoya, and Kyoya felt a little spark of victory.

Haruhi stared across the table at him, trying to read him and failing, Kyoya was not going to let his guard down. So she sighed, "I haven't been rude to you senpai, you've just been jumpy, I even asked if you were alright this afternoon, remember?" Oh god, she was being honest, he wasn't sure how to combat honesty, unless he could twist her words into what he wanted…

"Haruhi, I'll be perfectly honest here, you should probably stop neglecting your duties. As I said this afternoon, I was too busy to converse with you, and you had clients anyway so you should have been at your table instead of bothering me with questions about whether there's anything wrong with me." He paused, taking a breath and letting it sink in, he was taking a huge, huge risk here, and he hoped it would pay off. The twins seemed to at least somewhat agree that Haruhi should have been doing his job, Honey seemed concerned about what was said, Mori was still unreadable, and Tamaki… Tamaki looked almost angry, but at what, Kyoya wasn't sure.

Haruhi was startled, "I… I didn't mean it like-"

Kyoya shut her up with a wave of her hand, "that doesn't matter Haruhi, what matters is that you left your station, and should pay more attention to your duties, are we in agreement?" She nodded and he smiled, changing the slide, "but yes, profits are up, even if the recent theme cost quite a lot, namely in the diamonds for Tamaki's prop skull," he glances down at the king, seeing Tamaki's smile made him feel fuzzy inside, he's so glad these idiots don't think about things for more than three seconds.

But then Tamaki spoke, "oh, about today's theme, I made sure to put all the costumes on the hangers when you were all setting up the table… Do you remember where you put your corset, Kyoya?" Oh god, oh fuck, Kyoya instantly glanced away, hand going to his abdomen, feeling the bones of the corset through his shirt and blazer.

"Well I-..."

Hikaru snickered, holding in a laugh, "did you keep it on? Couldn't you get it off?"

Karou joined in at that, chuckling softly, "like when you took too long this morning? Were you actually just struggling?"

Kyoya felt his face go red, and was glad of the makeup, he frowned and glared over their shoulders, "that's… that's not why I-"

"So you did keep it on?" Honey spoke up, tilting his head, smiling, "but for a different reason?"

Tamaki sighed, "aww Kyoya, I offered you help you if you got stuck, there's no shame in it." The tone he used, it was one you'd use for a jumpy, frightened animal- he was offended but he couldn't say it didn't sooth him slightly. He also felt the idea of Tamaki helping him with the corset was certainly someone that made him feel fuzzy but he was too tired to protest too much. He just sighed.

The meeting was cut short a little, Kyoya wasn't entirely sure what happened, he remembers the twins did a talk about the costumes they have for the themes lined up, and Honey gave feedback on the cakes he had ordered… but Kyoya was a little fuzzy through the whole thing, maybe the corset and the combo was a little too much. He could glance back down at his notebook to clarify that he was taking notes, though it was a larger font.

16:26 - Clothes look good, cake was dry...

It trailed off, and Kyoya's face feels hot, he's dizzy, and feels like he's so close to passing out. He closed his eyes and felt cold fingers against his skin, opening his eyes he saw Tamaki carefully untying the ribbons of his corset for him, his eyes were full of concern, "Kyoya… this is way too tight… how could you breathe?"

"Hm… couldn't…" Kyoya's words were slurring, god, he really was about to pass out.

Tamaki's eyes flickered up to Kyoya's face, noticing how clouded his eyes are and sighing, "oh no…" he reaches up, loosening Kyoya's tie for hum, their faces were so close, and Kyoya wondered if Tamaki could feel the heat from his face, "you tied your tie too tight too… please don't tell me it was on purpose…" he looked at Kyoya with those big doe eyes that Kyoya can't resist, and something in Kyoya just breaks. He's crying now.

Shocked, Tamaki pulls him into an embrace, just letting him cry, "oh… oh Kyoya… why? Why would you do that to yourself? Does this mean you lied about the reason for your starving too? Is this why you've been so antsy?" Kyoya didn't answer, he was sobbing now, the floodgates were open, there was no moving until he was done. Tamaki let him for now, a lot of things probably making sense in Tamaki's mind, he shifted so Kyoya and he were both more comfortable. The curtains parted slightly and Kyoya couldn't see who it was but Tamaki snapped, "hey! Don't look! Let him have privacy, just go home." Kyoya appreciated Tamaki caring so much for his privacy but felt a little bad at intruding on his.

Tamaki cradled him softly, rocking back and forth as Kyoya sobbed in his arms, Kyoya felt awful, absolutely horrible, he had been hurting himself, he had and that was awful, he had upset Tamaki, he upset his darling best friend and crush by letting him find out about the self harm. He was a horrible friend, he should have hidden it better, god he was terrible…

"Kyoya," Tamaki hummed Kyoya's name, pushing back slightly to look Kyoya in the eyes, wiping his teeths gently, "you know you can talk to me about anything right? You're my best friend and I love you, you're very important to me and I don't want to see you so hurt. Take care of yourself, I know it's probably hard, but just try your best, ok?" He smiled softly at him, his hand on Kyoya's cheek, Kyoya's own hand came up and touched Tamaki's, his eyes were wide and he couldn't help but smile. Tamaki's so wonderful, so brilliant, Kyoya loved him with every inch of his being, Kyoya simply adored him. "Promise me I won't ever see you so hurt again?"

Kyoya just nodded, he would hide it better next time, he wouldn't let Tamaki see even the idea of Kyoya being hurt, he hated himself for how he'd upset Tamaki- he wouldn't let it happen again. Tamaki had smiled and stood up, helping Kyoya up before fully undoing the corset, letting it fall to the floor. Kyoya felt a shiver run down his spine and Tamaki gasped, "oh you must be so cold! Here, let me help you with your shirt!" He bent down and buttoned Kyoya's shirt back up, humming a sweet little melody, one that made Kyoya's heart soar like a bird. He stood and put a gentle hand on Kyoya's shoulder, "I'll see you tomorrow mon ami, take care of yourself."

Kyoya was silent on the way home, his bodyguards couldn't get a word out of him, his fingers drummed on the cover of his black book, he wanted to write, but he didn't want to have to get his pen out of his bag. They got home eventually and Kyoya stormed up the driveway and into the mansion, he practically ran upstairs, slamming the door to his room the moment he entered it. He threw his bag at the table, before following it and kneeling down, placing his book down and opening it.

17:56 - Tamaki realised why I had the corset so tight, he helped me take it off, his hands are so soft. He knows about the self harm, I promised I wouldn't let him see it again but it's too late: he knows, he knows, he knows, he knows…

#tamakyo #ouran high school host club #kyoyassecondshot #kyoya ootori #tamaki souh #haruhi fujioka #kaoru hitachiin #hikaru hitachiin #hikaru and kaoru #mitsukuni haninozuka #takashi morinozuka #Second

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oikawas-bae · 4 years

Note

Ooh are requests still open sweetie? If so, could I request a scenario with Bokuto and his female s/o who has permanent leg injuries she struggles with from playing sport in the past (from a dislocation, break, fracture, I don’t mind) but is too discreet and insecure to tell Bokuto about them? As in, she is worried he would judge her for her injuries? Please make it as sweet and soft as possible! Thank you so much in advance, I hope this isn’t too long a request and is okay! 🥺💗

HEY HEY HEY AURIA I GOT THE GOODS and i uh don’t know if it’s too fluffy sfhfdhsj it might be more angst but ENJOY ANYWAY BBY

Bokuto x Reader

WC: 1.2k

Bokuto was known throughout Fukurodani as some kind of volleyball demon, he was the pride and joy of the team and everyone was glad to have him play for the school and raise its prestige. Whenever people outside of his close friend group (consisting of you, Akaashi, and the rest of the volleyball team) talked to him, it was always about volleyball and naturally, most people had come to believe that was all he did and all he talked about. That’s why most found it hard to believe that you were his girlfriend. You, who was uninvolved in sports and often made it a point to shudder and cringe at the suggestion of them, “no thank you, sports are too aggressive.” Bokuto didn’t care though, there was more to you that he admired and adored; the way you helped him understand his homework in a way not even Akaashi could, the snarky comments you would make under your breath that he swore would have the entire class rolling on the floor of laughter if you said it just a little louder, and you were incredibly kind to him and everyone else.

You had started talking to him just as everyone else did, congratulating him on a major victory, particularly making it to the Top 4 ranking of players in the prefecture but after that, you never said a word to him on the topic of volleyball and it was just you asking him random questions that popped into your head like why he dyed his hair the way he did or what his thoughts were on the lame motivational poster the teacher had propped on the classroom wall recently. You wanted to see him beyond the realm of volleyball and that meant everything to him.

But sometimes he wished you would show the same enthusiasm he did for his sport, “Heyyy, I have a net in the garage we can set up, let’s play volleyball! The gym has been closed all week for that club fair the school is planning and I’m itching to practice, I swear I’m gonna explode if I go another day-”

“No thanks,” You murmured bluntly, not even looking up from scrolling through social media on your phone. Across the room in a bean bag chair, he shuffled his feet on the floor in frustration, “babe, pleeeasse.”

“I’m good, you can do it, I’ll just stay here.”

He stood up and extended his hands to the air, sighing out after his stretch. You only shrunk deeper into your slouch, pulling your phone closer to your face. You looked so small and uncomfortable and Bokuto couldn’t help but feel the discomfort fall onto him. He was usually oblivious to others’ emotions but he was incredibly keen on yours and he picked up on all your body language and any slight change in your facial expression. And there was definitely something off right now. “What’s wrong, babe?”

“Nothing.”

“I know something is wrong, you're crouched into a ball and you’re not even looking at me when I’m talking to you. You don’t have to tell me what’s going on right now but let me help you get out of this slump. Maybe a little one-on-one match can take your mind off whatever it is that’s got you down. I’ll go easy on ya~” He was now eagerly hauling you out of his bed where you sat. You threw your phone on the bed to avoid it falling on the floor and let yourself get dragged so that now he was holding your hands above your head while you dangled just over the floor, staring at your feet. Well, your ankle to be exact.

“I don’t wanna play, Bokuto. Leave me alone.” It came out more rude than you intended, with a tinge of hopelessness. He let go of your hands and you dropped softly on the carpet. He crouched down, placing his hands reassuringly on your knees, “Tell me what’s wrong?”

Neither you nor Bokuto kept secrets from each other so it hurt to see you so obviously hurting and not looping him in. It hurt you just as much to see how hurt he looked. Now you had to tell him.

“I don’t wanna play Kotarou. It makes me sad because I want to play but it hurts me. Like it actually hurts me.” You were dancing around the whole truth.

“What do you mean it hurts you? Are you okay? Omygod, did something happen recently and I didn’t notice? Did I accidentally kick you under the table too hard or something? (y/n) I’m sorry, omygod.” He was scanning your body for any hint of an injury. You quickly scrambled to a crouch similar to his, subconsciously shying away from his wandering eyes.

“Nono, Kotarou...you’re fine, really. It’s just uh…” You didn’t want to say it. It only made it more real. Everytime you said it out loud, it was only a reminder of what you could have done if you had been more careful. But this was Bokuto, your best friend and lover, you had to trust him even if it was painful, “I can’t play volleyball or really any sports because my ankle is forever messed up and it’s my fault. A few years ago I would have played with you no question but I physically can’t so please don’t ask.”

Bokuto felt a wave of guilt wash over him for pressuring you so incessantly. He scooted closer to your huddled form and wrapped a loving arm around your shoulder, “Hey, why didn’t you tell me before?”

You sunk your head deeper into your knees, into the abyss of darkness between your legs and your chest. You didn’t like to think about your injury because it always got you in that same pissy mood you’d been in for so long after the doctor said those oh-so-cruel words, ‘You should take easy...indefinitely’. You’d lost so much walking out of the doctor’s office that day and you pitied yourself for so long in front of others. At least now the pity was internalized and you didn’t make others feel bad. “It’s not worth saying, it doesn’t matter. You probably think it's pitiful that I’m crying over something so stupid, huh? My stupid stupid ankle that gave and now I can’t play volleyball like I used to, I pushed it too hard too many times and now its a liability...”

It all made sense now, why you condemned sports and why you talked about anything but volleyball, you didn’t want to remind yourself of the injury that made you feel so weak.

If it weren’t for his respect for your feelings, he would have interrupted you outright when you started your response, “It’s not stupid and it does matter (y/n). Look at me.” He asserted so confidently that you were inclined to look at him despite your reluctance to show him your tear-smeared face. “I didn’t know you played volleyball and it makes you so much cooler that you gave it your all and kept going even when you were injured. If anything I respect you even more, babe.”

His wide grin and bright eyes seemed to completely glaze over any negativity even when you were practically dripping with pessimism. You wondered how someone could be so effortlessly positive, kind and thoughtful. He wasn’t the latter with most other people but he was for you and for that you’d be eternally grateful.

The rest of the night he didn’t complain about wanting to play volleyball and you just talked about everything under the sun until one of you dozed off on the other’s shoulder.

#haikyuu!! x reader #my writing #my writes #kotaro bokuto x reader #bokuto x reader #reader insert #haikyu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!!

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keepcopinghoe · 3 years

Text

catch up pt.1

quick rundown of what’s been going on with me

ramo is the first guy that i’ve consistently and personally interacted with since about 2018 and definitely the first guy who actually around my age that i’ve formed a relatively close bond with. i think it’s for this reason that i’m so attached to him. he frequently described himself as an incel (ironically tho) and i think his last actually non-paid-for sexual relationship was back in 2017. so i stupidly assumed that i was the only girl in his life that he was actually close with and this delusion i think in many ways also is what build the foundation behind the inexplicable quasi-infatuation that i have now.

on 06th june he told me about some girl that was part of his i***c*** discord which i already knew he was a part of since ages ago. i asked about her and he said she was from lithuania and that he was pissed off because some other guy was orbiting her which immediately set off alarm bells to me since there’s legit no reason to get pissy that someone else is orbiting a girl unless you like her yourself. he also said some shit to me which i think was unintentionally (or maybe intentionally?) hurtful, about how he could easily afford my prices and that i sell myself way below the market rate (both true but still). i think it’s both these things happening at the same time which particularly stung: ramo orbiting some e-girl who is involved in the same interests and hobbies to a greater extent than i am and also the emphasis that i’m a whore (and a cheap one at that) who no one would ever really consider as a serious dating prospect if they knew anything about my history.

i told him shortly after than i didn’t want to see him for a month or so, making up the excuse that it was because i was gonna be too busy. this is partially true cus i did initially have the plan to work every single day until the date of my breast augmentation/lift surgery which would be 25th june, earning like £700 a day in profit if i worked very hard. that didn’t quite come to fruition because there was some guy who booked with me that left a negative review on UKP which led to a fussilade of criticism from various users about me being a power-tripping time waster who frequently ghosted clients. this is kinda true except the power-tripping part; my timewasting is a direct result of substance abuse problems which is a direct result of whoring myself out to men that i often find unattractive. all in the preceding week (i met ramo on a sunday and this shit happened the following week).

two separate people passive aggressively threatened to send me another negative review over text, i have to provide a discounted rate to two of my regulars due to consistantly missing bookings, someone left me a negative review under my AW profile (which they did through sending a booking request that i didn’t confirm) saying that my service had declined massively over the last few months and that it was like ‘fucking a zombie’ and the final night of working on thursday (10/06), i saw this guy who has followed me under various aliases i’ve had in the past (jade/sana/etc.) and that i last meant at kingston premier inn in like june 2019. would have been a nice blast from the past in some respect but i made a stupid retarded decision to do coke with him - i then sniffed poppers which was retarded as well because poppers are a stimulant and speeds the heart up even further which i didn’t really know at the time. i then got super paranoid that i was gonna have a heart attack and kept telling the client in question to ensure that he call an ambulance if i collapsed, which i’m sure really got him in the mood. his name was james and i stupidly told him my real name. he couldn’t come and i felt like shit because i knew he didn’t enjoy himself - he told me in his mind that he had kind of ‘built’ the meeting up and i suppose it must have fallen massively short of his expectations. it is what it is.

i couldn’t sleep really at all due to the coke. i had several meetings arranged for the next day on friday with regulars all of which i cancelled. i just couldn’t continue on with the same routine of waking up in the morning feeling disgusting because i keep eating junk food delivery, doing an enema, getting drunk and just getting fucked until bedtime even though it was really good money.

i fucked around and went to chinatown on saturday evening and was feeling really happy and relieved about not having to work. i’ve figured that i can just make money after my surgeries and start again under a new profile where i don’t have any negative reviews attached to it and maybe rent out an actual apartment on a monthly basis, since it’d be cheaper than air BnB and i can set things up the way i want. i ate sweet and sour fish and egg fried rice, it was taste (ramo always says that lol).

idk what compelled me to do it but on 14th june, i looked through ramo’s likes on twitter. i think it was because i recalled seeing an obvious girl account in his likes previously - this is something i didn’t really think about at all previously but with the new information he had told me the sunday before, i ended up browsing her account which kind of led to a personal crisis. i found out fairly quickly that this girl was the same one he had referred to on discord (m** on discord, j**** on twitter) simply because there were screencaps on her media referring to the same discord and she was definitely from lithuania. i always assumed that women in these circles were lame and bland tradthots who lacked any kind of constitution beyond mindless pandering to irony poisoned scrotes and genuinely retarded wignats but i was suprised at how immediately endearing this girl appeared even to me, through the internet and as someone i have every reason to feel petty resentment towards.

her shitposts were funny and while she is edgy, she has an underlying sweet and kind disposition. her art is shit but cool in its own scrambled way. she’s also apparently only 16 so it’s understandable - i was a lot more cringe at her age and just as shit at art.

the feeling of inadequacy was overwhelming since in addition to being an actual whore, i’m super cringe, lame and normie compared to her. it made completely sense that ramo would orbit a girl like this and i’ve since completely re-evaluated my position and meaning in his life. it’s a good thing that my cope of feelings of intense inadequacy is to launch myself into a phase of hyper-productivity - i kept practicing drawing (apeing her in a way ig since i recently had kind of given up on drawing), fasting, reading, etc. to try and overcome how worthless and self-loathing i felt at being the unwitting basis of comparison to a young girl who was better than me in every conceivable manner. i even listened to msg 3.

i was in so much pain over this that i couldn’t listen to songs which reminded me of ramo (any i****c*** but specifically drug approved and also temptation) and when i did, i just felt anger at my position and a weird resentment towards him. worth mentioning than ramo had sent me a weird bootycall kind of text sometime before then which came across as really crash, so that made me feel even more devalued.

this is already super long so i’m gonna follow up with a pt. 2 later or maybe edit.

#catch-up #from may 2021 ig #a lot has happened and it would be amiss to just start where things are now without any context especially since it's still quite recent

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lurkingleighbee · 3 years

Text

Thrawn Ascendancy: Greater Good Chapter One - Chapter Three

Chapter One

The Chiss Ascendancy (according to Thrawn): power, stability, integrity, light in the darkness, culture, and glory

Ar’alani faces off with the Nikardun, who appear to want to die as martyrs

Ar’alani seems to have that desired combination of experience and intuition

“There were tables and balance charts to calculate that sort of thing. Ar’alani preferred to do it by eyesight and experienced judgement.”

puppies = whiskercubs?

Thrawn and Ar’alani work well as a team :)

“...she and Thrawn had worked together long enough that she knew he would see what she was seeing and know exactly what she wanted him to do.”

Ar’alani seems to be AOK with striking down what are basically floating, defenseless ships without offering a surrender. Pretty dark.

Thurfian got a secret promotion to Syndic and is preening on the inside (and apparently promotions within the family are supposed to be kept secret)

Thurfian still hates Thrawn and wants him gone (I think the reason(s) were spelled out in the previous book, but this is an obsession of another kind)

the Vagaari are confirmed canon again! But then again, you may know what that means

“That was certainly one of his most mixed-results exploits... [Thrawn] captured that gravity-well generator the researchers are still trying to figure out, but then lost the big alien ship from Lesser Space before anyone could get a look inside.”

Mitth’ras’safis (aka Thrass) is most certainly MIA

possibility: will Thrawn find his brother?

and what about C’Baoth? And Lorana?

Zistalmu (from the Irizi family, same as Ar’alani) and Thurfian (from the Mitth family) are going to start a rumor that’ll (they hope) get Thrawn an... “extra-long deployment” (my words)

Thurfian knows spreading a rumor around needs to have a certain weight to it, and decides to angle himself higher up in the family

Memories I

it looks like the Memories chapters are going to a new character, Haplif, rather than to Ar’alani

we are introduced to Jixtus - a veiled being with an exotic voice, described as a “strange mixture of rasping and melodic wrapped up inside an obscure accent”

Jixtus (and honestly my immediate instinct was that it’s Palpatine because of the cloak and hood, but (1) Palpatine would not have the time, (2) Palpatine was not aware of the Chiss until Thrawn showed up, and (3) Palpatine does not wear “gloves covering his hands” nor does he wear a “black veil covering his face”

Jixtus gives me slight Jedi vibes with this line: “But beware of overconfidence. Eyes held high in pride are less able to see uneven ground ahead”

Haplif’s talent lies in “reading and analyzing cultures” which is apparently “unmatched” (just you wait, buddy), “but individuals could still surprise him, especially those he hasn’t had good opportunities to read”

so basically an evil Thrawn

Haplif (and Jixtus, I assume) managed to engineer a civil war on a planet within months

topical!

Haplif: “MIlitary minds and reactions are of no consequences. I deal in the political realm, and I doubt the Chiss leaders have any less ambition and lust for power than anyone else in the Chaos”

oh no... will he and Thurfian team up?

Haplif is going to make contact with the Chiss and stir up some serious, potentially fatal, danger

Chapter Two

I feel like Thalias and Che’ri have their own little crushes on Thrawn

Che’ri is past her 10th birthday (and people around her forgot and she’s sad...)

Thalias promises to make it up to her, somehow

also they have a little discussion about Che’ri learning to fly the ship - is this a bit of foreshadowing? Hmm...

shoot, will Che’ri start to lose her skywalker powers as she gets older?

Thalias is revealed to have claustrophobia

how did she handle being in that giant box with Thrawn in the last book?

Thrawn has given himself the quest of trying to return that certain ring from the previous book (the one described as a “nest of small stylized snakes with two larger ones curving up from among them”)

Samakro seems quite uptight with rules and regulations

gets a bit pissy that Thalias is on equal status with the military in a meeting with the Rapacc, in a discussion about refugees (called the Magys) and the Nikardun

“So now a mere caregiver - and an only recently confirmed one, at that - was to have equal voice with Expansionary Defense Fleet officers? Samakro could see no reason for it. And things with no clear purpose always made him nervous”

Samakro also has a great line about children: “...you’ve been dealing with a ten-year-old girl for the past few months. Children that age are as alien as anything you’ll find in the Chaos”

So, to summarize a bit of exposition, the head of the Magys has convinced herself that the home planet is totally destroyed and she has utterly failed - therefore suicide is the only option left (i.e. mass suicide)

Thalias was asked to basically convince the head of the Magys (also called the Magys, a bit confusing but so be it) to NOT kill herself

The Magys are matriarchal - and the head lady honcho won’t talk to any man

Chapter Three

During the “conversation” (which feels like a massive hostage negotiation Thalias has to take on by herself), Thalias brings up that the Chiss managed to survive and endure what is essentially a never-ending Ice Age

and if they can handle that, why can’t the Magys handle their darn selves?!?

“The Beyond” = “Third Sight” = “The Force”

“That there is no reason to go back,” the Magys said. “No hope that others of the people still live. So we will therefore die and rest in the Beyond, and through the Beyond bring healing to the world.” “How can you bring back healing when the people are gone?” Another double tongue flick. “Do you not even listen to your own words?” the Magys said scornfully. “You said it yourself: The world is not the people. Our world has been torn and scarred, but perhaps it can be healed. We will join the Beyond and make the attempt.” Thalias frowned, trying to make sense of it all. So the Magys believed that by dying she and the rest of her group could join with some greater cosmic system and through it work to heal the damage caused by their civil war? “But what’s the point of healing the world if there’s no one left to live there?” she asked. “There are others in the universe,” the Magys said. “Many others. Some of them may one day come to live on the world we leave to them. Why should we not strive to properly prepare it?” “Because those others may or may not come,” Thalias said. “You and your people, on the other hand, are already here. Shouldn’t you be trying instead to return and build your world and culture for yourselves? We did. Why not you?” “No,” the Magys said. “We are not you. It cannot be done.” She lowered her eyes again. “All that can be done is death, and the Beyond.”

Thalias decides to prove her wrong and suggests going back to the home world to see what is left.

This is the planet Jixtus and Haplif were talking over in Memories I - I believe, the one engulfed in civil war

Thrawn acknowledges The Force

“A concept from Lesser Space” - keeping in mind this Lesser Space is much, MUCH larger and dare I say more advanced than Chiss Space, but go on - “that General Anakin Skywalker told me about when we were working together,” Thrawn said. “He defined it as an energy field created by all living things from which he and others could draw power and guidance...”

“The concept seemed somewhat vague. But if living things create the Force, perhaps it can work in reverse, with the Force creating or nurturing living things”

The first “Perhaps” - page 46

Side trip time!

Samakro likes order and structure and CANNOT stand it when it is interrupted

does not care for Thrawn personally but he is not insubordinate

does not like Thalias at all (suspicious of her from the get go)

and this side-trip has him kind of bent out of shape, and he is worried that “the Springhawk could be delayed or, worse, summarily ordered to report back to Csilla” - and that would mean the mission going tits/belly/toes up

Samakro seems to borderline loathe Thurfian (and by extension the Aristocra) and notices that Thurfian has something going on with Thalias

Samakro is all military and cannot stand politics

But, he seems to have a good grasp on the relationships going on between people

Notes on the audiobook

Samakro still sounds like Jack Nicholson and it tickles me

Lakinda sounds like the voice Thompson uses for Eli Vanto

there seems to be a new soundtrack underscoring the narration, which is interesting

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vera-invenire · 4 years

Note

For the character ask meme I can't not ask for: Lan WangJi

For this meme!

- FIRST IMPRESSION

From gifs on my dash – “So this guy’s the fantasy!China version of Spock? I guess? He seems a lot like Spock.”

- IMPRESSION NOW

Oh my god, I love him. He is the best. The best.

- FAVORITE MOMENT

????? Oh boy.

How pissy and outraged he got over the porn in the library.

How three seconds before that^ he said “Boring” while delicately, carefully putting the drawing WWX made of him aside because he doesn’t know how to handle feelings yet that are outside the spectrum of Meditation >> FIGHT ME.

Every time his brother teased him in a roundabout way about WWX

“Did you find out who was lurking in the back hills?” *drawn out pause full of teenaged drama* “Wei Ying.”

“Do you like MianMian?” That LOOK.

No, but actually, how he followed Mianmian out after she defected.

His FACE when he sees Wei Ying in Yiling

…when he cut off JGY’s arm, like. That was actually kinda of alarming, ngl.

The way he Cannot. Stand. Jiang Cheng, ahahahaha.

The way he smiled at the bunny lantern WWX drew and then IMMEDIATELY pulled his sword when he was caught.

Chickens. CHICKENS.

He just. Throws WWX’s arm around his shoulders and kicks open NHS’s door. Why? Because he wanted to.

Drunk!LWJ? Drunk!LWj.

Taking WWX to the same inn they stayed at when they were younger because it was a MEMORY and it MADE AN IMPRESSION.

Going to the inn in Yiling and listening to gossip (From whom did he learn to sit in inns and listen to gossip? Yeah.)

In Cloud Recesses, that little step back he did when they were looking at the sword and WWX was leaning on him and Lan Sizhui was like, delighted, because that’s what LWJ is like when he’s messing with people.

Bringing Emperor’s Smile into the Cloud Recesses IN FRONT OF HIS BROTHER with HIS HAIR MOSTLY DOWN, oh my goodness.

Putting the Silence spell on Su She.

When WWX was going to start guessing the name of the song and LWJ just jerked Lil Apple in a new direction to change the subject, ahaha.

The approximately 5 million times he cradles WWX in his arms.

…he’s my favorite, alright, it is what it is.

- IDEA FOR A STORY

LWJ has been passive aggressively avoiding an arranged marriage ever since he got out of his three year seclusion, but now that he’s Chief Cultivator, the pressure (and offers/negotiations) to get married have gone up 1000%.

But unlike his predecessors who liked their thrones too well, LWJ travels around a lot and so everywhere he runs goes people are trailing after him and trying to lock him into matrimony. (Possibly there are even very foolish attempts to *entrap* him into matrimony.)

Alas, somehow it seems that every time LWJ goes somewhere and the matchmakers and the husband-hunters come out, all their efforts are derailed by – well, it changes. Sometimes it’s a dusty rogue cultivator with a rude donkey; sometimes it’s a young master with a dizi who doesn’t reveal his name but seems to know the Chief Cultivator quite well; or sometimes, when the big guns are needed, it’s the Yiling Patriarch himself, here to wreck a party.

Really, it’s all Wei Wuxian who keeps showing up where he knows Lan Zhan is going to be and is either accidentally or on purpose (or accidentally on purpose) derailing every courting/matchmaking attempt that looks like it’s making Lan Zhan even a smidgen uncomfortable. (Shades of Jiang Yanli’s situation, even if WWX knows the motivation this time around is very different.)

(Featuring: hunted!LWJ, trickster!WWX, jealous/sad!WWX, someone (maybe Jiang Cheng) asking WWX pointed questions on what the hell he thinks he’s doing, mutual pining for days, ‘so then… what kind of person would you want to marry’ and That Look from the Cave you know the one I’m talking about, and then Wei Ying proposes, fin.)

- UNPOPULAR OPINION

(this is getting long, so let’s continue it under a cut)

I dunno, I think making him Chief Cultivator is going to lead a coup d'etat. I’m not even joking. It is close to being the *worst* job for him, and that’s not even considering the mess of secrets and politics and social engineering JGY left behind. You think LWJ’s gonna deal with that well? Nah nah nah.

I used to think Lan Xichen would be the best choice after getting out of seclusion since he’s moderate and a peace-maker, but honestly? Give the job to Nie Huaisang. He might need some time to, like, recenter himself, though. Figure out what else he wants to do with his life now that all the revenge has been sorted. Maybe after things start unraveling a bit it’s WWX who starts nudging NHS in that direction in order to free up LWJ for roaming the world like they both clearly want, hm. So LWJ as Chief Cultivator for 1-3 years, then it’s Nie Huaisang.

- FAVORITE RELATIONSHIP

??? Wangxian????

Also, his relationship with his brother during the flashback.

And the hateship between him and Jiang Chen because it honestly gives me life.

- FAVORITE HEADCANON

He kept in sporadic touch with MianMian over the years which is why he was like, ‘let’s stop for water here’ and looked very at ease at her house. The little girl already has a spot saved for her in GusuLan should she wish to train in cultivation.

#the untamed #lan wangji #lan zhan #wei wuxian #wei ying #this got a titch long #he's my favorite okay #meme #replies

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thedeaditeslayer · 5 years

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Groovy! Bruce Campbell finally shows up to Rock and Shock at DCU and Palladium.

Here’s a short article style interview with Bruce Campbell on Ash vs. Evil Dead.

WORCESTER — All right, you primitive screw-heads, listen up!

“Groovy” Bruce Campbell is coming to Rock and Shock this weekend (Saturday and Sunday only) at the DCU Center to bury Ashley “Ash” Williams, not to praise him.

The chainsaw-wielding,“boomstick”-carrying, wisecracking, Deadite-slaying hero of the “Evil Dead” movies and Starz network’s original series “Ash vs Evil Dead” is no more, according to the 61-year-old Michigan.

Last year’s finale of “Ash vs Evil Dead” marked the end of Ash and the “Evil Dead” universe, as far as Campbell is concerned, so much so that he added a “Requiem for Ash” chapter in the paperback version of his New York Times best-selling autobiography, “Hail to the Chin: Further Confessions of a B Movie Actor,” in which he says, “Out of respect for my ability to properly portray a particular character, I’m retiring Ash, not retiring from acting. I’m retiring from a very technically demanding type of acting, not the craft itself.”

In 1979, Campbell, his high school pal (and future A-list Hollywood director) Sam Raimi and fellow Michigander Rob Tapert scraped up $350,000 and went out into the woods to shoot the low-budget film, “The Evil Dead,” which took them four years, on and off, to finish.

Not only did it become an instant cult classic and one of the most successful independent films ever made, “The Evil Dead” spawned two sequels, 1987′s “Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn” and 1992′s “Army of Darkness.”

And, when “Evil Dead” fans were clamoring for 20 years for a installment, Campbell, Raimi and Tapert gave them an “Evil Dead” remake (without Ash) instead.

“Unmercifully, for years, it was ‘Evil Dead 4’! ‘Evil Dead 4’! ‘Evil Dead 4’! People wouldn’t shut up about it,” Campbell said during a recent phone interview. “We gave them a remake. Some people thought it was OK. Some people thought it was too serious. Some people were pissed there was no Ash. So, all the remake did is poked the zit. So, we went, OK, let’s give Ash his final hurrah.”

Rock and Shock info:

After decades of saying it’s never going to happen, Campbell suited up (with chainsaw as hand) as Ash — not in “Evil Dead 4” but for three unrated seasons of “Ash vs Evil Dead,” a series that ran from Oct. 31, 2015, to April 29, 2018, on Starz.

“No studio is going to give you multi-millions of dollars to make an unrated movie,” Campbell said. “So, in this case, we thought, OK, let’s bring it back as a TV show. We can do a lot more material. So you get 15 fresh hours. If those were movies, it would have taken us 20 years to put out that much.”

Filmed in Auckland, New Zealand, with the same creative team that worked on the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, “Ash vs Evil Dead” was a step up in quality from the early, low-budget “Evil Dead” films.

“These craftsmen were able to finally silence all the people who were like you and your low-budget effects,” Campbell said. “Our art direction, all of the design, the effects, the stage work, I put up against any show out there, perhaps with the exception of ‘Game of Thrones.’”

In addition to the creative behind-the-scenes crew, Campbell praises his two, game-for-anything co-stars, Ray Santiago and Dana DeLorenzo, who played Pablo and Kelly, respectively.

“We got lucky,” Campbell said. “I don’t use that word much but we were very fortunate in that we got two actors at the right time. They were very game. They were very ready. They had some experience but not too much experience. And they left it all on the table. Ray and Dana, it was great to watch them do their stuff.”

“Ash vs Evil Dead” also reunited “Xena: Warrior Princess” (Lucy Lawless) with Autolycus, the “King of Thieves” (Campbell).

“We knew we wanted Lucy desperately. And I don’t know if we served Ruby (Lawless’ “Ash vs Evil Dead” character) as well as we should have. That’s my only regret,” Campbell said. “I never saw her have a bad day on set. She’s always polite, always professional, and she kept me in line. I mean, she really did. I get a little pissy on set. I look over at her and she’s like, ‘C’mon, same team, same team.’ I would use her in anything. She can do anything.”

Campbell said his inner fanboy was very excited working opposite Lee Majors, aka “The Six Million Dollar Man,” who agreed to play Ash’s potty mouthed, womanizer dad on “Ash vs Evil Dead.”

“Lee got the joke and he loved the fact that he could play a guy that was so not Lee Majors,” Campbell said. “It couldn’t be any better than this, doing a scene with Lee Majors, talking about your bionic hand. And he goes, ‘It looks like some piece of (expletive) made in China.’ Those are the little golden moments that made the drudgery worthwhile. I still call him dad.”

Campbell said his favorite “Ash vs Evil Dead” episode is “Delusion,” in which Ash wakes up from a nightmare only to find himself in an asylum with a demonic “Ashy Slashy” puppet.

“Honestly, that (expletive) puppet is haunting me to the end of my dreams,” Campbell said.

As for the sickest, most disgusting and depraved scene he filmed on the show, Campbell said it was when Ash’s head goes up a cadaver’s butt.

“It wasn’t intended initially,” Campbell said. “Ash was just going to have a fight with a colon and then our trusted producer, Mr. Rob Tapert, said, ‘I know what you got to do. You got to go up butt.’”

While fans are forever hopeful for another installment of the further misadventure of Ash and his faithful “boomstick,” Campbell said he had to put the kibosh on it because the role is too much physical wear and tear on the middle-aged actor.

“I would send a series of emails to the director about the upcoming episode warning them of my infirmary would get worse as the season went on,” Campbell said. “And, honestly, if we did a season four, you know people would have said, ‘Hey, if we only had a season five.’ Then, you do a season five. They’d go, ‘If only we had another movie.’ So you have to accept the fact that ‘Evil Dead’ fans will never ever be satisfied and that’s OK and that’s why we love them.”

In fact, Campbell said likes the way they ended the series.

“You finally let the schmo have his day,” Campbell said. “Ash’s not just a guy in a crappy trailer home. He’s actually is a guy written up in an ancient book (the ‘Necronomicon’). So he goes off to battle evil in the future with a hot robot chick. What the hell wrong with that? It’s perfect.”

If they had a season four of “Ash vs Evil Dead,” Campbell said he would have killed off Ash once and for all.

“I’m sure Sam Raimi or Rob Tapert would have had a heart attack but Ash would have fulfilled his destiny,” Campbell said. “He would have battled evil in the past, present and future. That’s fulfilling his destiny. Hands the mantle to the new man or women, child or beast, dies heroically saving the day ... So it’s a big sacrifice, total Luke Skywalker, Joseph Campbell. I’d go all the way.”

Campbell is not only the most requested guest at the popular horror convention in its 15 years of existence, “Rock and Shock” organizers have been trying to get the Ash actor since day one. So why now?

“Every year is different in this roadshow called Bruce Campbell,” the beloved B-movie actor and New York Times best-selling author said. “It was due. And I’m selling a paperback version of ‘Hail to the Chin: Further Confessions of a B-Movie Actor.’”

Campbell said he can’t wait to finally meet his “Rock and Shock” fans.

“A lot of them are very shy people,” Campbell said of his fans. “They wait two hours in line. They come to the table and they can’t say anything. And I feel for them. So I torment them.”

For those who dish out their hard-earned dough for a photo-op, Campbell offers these friendly words of advice.

“Bring props. Props are good. Bring ‘Evil Dead’ books, axes, chainsaws. Let’s spice up your photo. Wear something kooky. Dress up. Wear a shirt with a collar,” Campbell said. “If you’re going to get a photograph that’s’ going above the mantel, come on man, put some pride in it.”

#Bruce Campbell

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magnoliasinbloom · 5 years

Text

Lullaby

AO3 :: Previously

Chapter 18

June rolled around, and with it, summer hols. I was set on sticking to my plan, regardless of how big I was getting, so I could be accepted into nursing school, build a career, and take better care of my baby girl. I knew Mum and Dad would be glad to help, but I couldn’t depend on them forever.

Despite all the sleeping in class, I passed my exams with flying colors. Jamie, of course, played a huge part in my success. I couldn’t have done it without his help and encouragement. Dad had started driving me to school in the mornings; my joints ached and I had a strange shooting pain in my hips. Dr. Raymond had mentioned this was due to my pelvis widening, to prepare for childbirth. I cringed at the thought; if all went well, and there was no reason to think otherwise, it would be a natural birth. In case of complications, we could resort to a cesarean section. I began to walk with a distinct waddle as my center of gravity completely shifted.

We were stuck in the middle of a strange heat wave—strange for Glasgow, anyway. The constant humidity made me moody, and often, just downright pissed for no reason. Jamie was another issue entirely. Whenever I was in one of my pissy moods, sometimes I would take it out on him. It wasn’t his fault—it was just that he was constantly with me, the one who was there to catch the fallout. He would then walk on eggshells around me, which would make me feel terribly guilty. I apologized, he would say there was nothing to forgive, and back to normal.

Sometimes, I felt strange around him. I would glance up from whatever I was doing and catch a look in his blue eyes, which made me blush hotly and I couldn’t meet his gaze. I couldn’t quite pinpoint why.

Jamie was very attached to the baby, for reasons I couldn’t fathom. He spent time talking to her, taking care of me almost as much as Mum. He was on break from uni too, and had loads of free time; he wouldn’t resume classes until September, like me. That would be after the baby was born. In between helping his da on the farm, he had nothing but time on his hands.

I’d go out for coffee (well, tea) with my girlfriends sometimes. But mostly, Jamie and I spent afternoons in the living room, at my house or Lallybroch. Jamie would read to my belly, claiming babies could hear everything inside the womb. He would sit next to me and sing—horribly off-key I must say—Queen and Beatles’ songs.

I secretly loved when he did this. He was so good at many things, but singing wasn’t one of them. It never ceased to amaze me how many things Jamie had going for him: sweet, handsome, intelligent, caring, sensitive… like I told him playfully, the girl who got him would be lucky indeed.

But then, thinking about this random, hypothetical lucky girl gave me a slight twinge in the chest that I couldn’t explain away.

~ ~ ~

June ended, and with it came July—the beginning of my eighth month of pregnancy. I paced about my room, between the tiny closet and dresser, picking clothes to pack my hospital bag. There was still a month to go, but it was better to be prepared. I folded t-shirts and loose-fitting pants inside, wondering how soon I could fit into my regular clothes. I included a set of baby clothes Mum and Ellen had bought for the baby for when I brought her home.

I was killing time before Jamie picked me up for a late lunch at Lallybroch. My mum and dad were out for the day. I zipped up the bag and sat on my bed. Our mothers had done a great job fixing up my room for the baby’s arrival. In no time at all, they had repainted the walls a soft sage color, added a tiny bassinette with soft blankets, a set of drawers for the baby’s clothes and things (which doubled as a changing table), and only had to remove my old desk to make everything fit. It was a little cramped, but I didn’t mind at all; everything looked beautiful.

I heard my mobile ping with a text. Jamie was here. I grabbed my purse and slowly made my way downstairs, gripping the banister tightly. Jamie was patient, aware that I was moving a lot slower these days.

As we walked to the car, he looked sideways at me. “Ye look nice.”

I smiled in thanks. I was wearing a dress Mum had picked out for me. It was maternity of course, and I had only agreed to wear it because it kept me cool in the humid heat. I preferred the maternity pants with the scary elastic waistband, hidden under flowy blouses.

Jamie drove within the speed limit, cranking up the AC and the music, chatting all the while. He seemed slightly wound up, distracting me with questions. There was little traffic on the motorway, and we made record time to Lallybroch.

“Claire,” Jamie said uncertainly. He took my hand and pressed it between his. “Please dinna hate me for this.”

“For what?” I asked, bewildered. I turned my head and suddenly noticed that there were quite a few cars parked around us.

“Keep in mind, this wasna my idea.” Jamie let go of my hand, and got out of the car. He came around to open my door and help me out.

“James Alexander etcetera, etcetera Fraser, what’s going on?”

He just smiled, shaking his head. He walked me up the steps and I could hear voices and laughter inside. I stopped at the door and refused to budge.

“Sassenach, come on. Be nice.”

“You be nice. Tell me what’s behind this door or I swear I’m walking home.” To Inverness to catch a train, at least.

“Alright, alright… but ye do realize I could just carry ye—” He stopped at the murderous look on my face. “Fine. Our mums, Jenny, and yer friends might have organized something for ye. Like a party.”

Oh. I considered; I didn’t particularly enjoy being the center of attention, but there was nothing I could do to avoid it. Jamie was still regarding me warily, expecting one of my recent temper explosions. I smiled at him instead, and he looked relieved.

He opened the door for me, and I saw Lallybroch was filled with people. Mum was there, standing by a table filled with food. Ellen was with her, arranging plates. Louise and Mary were chatting on a sofa. Jenny, Jamie’s sister, came to me, enveloping me in a fierce hug.

“Claire! How’ve ye been, love?” She seemed the exact opposite of Jamie—dark-haired, much shorter, but with the same slant to her blue eyes that marked them both as Frasers.

“I’ve been well! Tired, but okay.” I let her lead me into the living room. There were some of my schoolmates, all women. A baby shower—I took in the decorations, all delicate pastel colors. Balloons and stuffed animals and baby shoes were strewn about.

“If ye need anything at all, ye ken Ian and I are here for ye,” Jenny said. She and her husband lived in Glasgow too, but were busy with three children of their own. I knew Jamie enjoyed being uncle to them too.

Everyone turned to me excitedly, rising at once to kiss me hello and touch my huge belly. Jamie lingered by the door, until he caught my eye. He gestured outside and waved; I understood he would be leaving us girls to our party.

Ellen and Mum each hugged me as I thanked them for the surprise. “Everything is absolutely beautiful!” Even the napkins fit with the baby motif. I looked at the refreshment table—the food looked simply superb.

My mum leaned in and stage-whispered, “This was mostly her idea,” nodding towards Ellen. “She took care of pretty much everything. Isn’t it wonderful?”

“It really is, Ellen. Thank you so much.”

“I’m so glad you like it, dear.” Ellen put her arm around my shoulders and directed me to a sofa. I plopped down heavily; I was glad to be off my feet.

There were games and cake and gifts—lots of gifts. There were adorable pink and yellow sundresses, tiny onesies, and soft plush blankets. Ellen and Jenny had found a secondhand stroller and a high chair, for when the baby was older.

Better than all the presents, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by the love and support they gave me. I couldn’t help but cry a little as I thanked them all for coming, and for the beautiful things they had given me.

Mum, Jenny, and I stayed to help Ellen clean up after everyone left, despite her protests. Brian came home around half past seven, and gave himself the job of piling the gifts I had received into the trunk of Mum’s car. I only stopped to wonder why Jamie wasn’t back yet, but I imagined he must have other things to do. Jenny hugged me goodbye with a reminder to call her anytime.

When we got home, the silver Peugeot was parked outside the house. Mum urged me inside, saying that Dad would help her carry it all in. Jamie was actually watching TV with my father. Dad rose to help Mum.

“Did ye have fun?” Jamie asked as I approached.

“I did, actually. Thank you. Did you have trouble, keeping the secret?” I grinned.

“A little. Especially since I know how much you hate being the center of attention.” He knew me well. “Besides, yer mother and Jenny would have killed me if I had so much as hinted.”

I nodded. “You’re probably right.”

My parents walked in, loaded with boxes and bags. Jamie went to help them. We all trooped up to my room, and they laid the gifts on my bed. Mum helped me sort through them and put them away in the dresser.

After she’d left, Jamie took on a shy expression. “There’s still something missing here.”

“What?” I shifted the gift bags heaped on my bed, thinking I had missed one.

“It’s downstairs. Let me get it.” He darted out of my room before I could ask more.

I heard him call out to my dad. I wondered why he would need his help. Then I heard them both grunting with effort. Their steps clambered awkwardly up to my room. Suddenly Dad’s back came into view. He and Jamie were lugging a rocking chair between them.

I gasped with delight. There was a huge white satin bow tied around it. They set the chair in the last unoccupied corner of the room, next to the crib. Dad shook his head, and clapped Jamie on the back.

I covered my mouth with one of my hands, afraid I was going to start bawling. I had always admired this particular rocking chair. It had sat in the Lallybroch guest room; it was an antique, the wood worn, weathered, and restored to perfection by Ellen herself.

“Just what the room was missing.” Jamie shrugged and smiled. He took in my expression and seemed even more pleased with himself.

“Jamie, it’s too much. I can’t accept this.” I knew she had rocked both her children in it. Despite my words, I couldn’t’ resist stepping closer, reaching out to touch the smooth wooden armrests.

“Mam wanted ye to have it,” he said simply. “She’s not takin’ it back, Sassenach, and I really dinna want to carry it down again. It’s too heavy.” I laughed.

“Thank you.” I moved towards him. Jamie looked slightly taken aback as I reached up and hugged him. My arms only came around the top of his ribcage. He hesitated for a second before putting his arms around me too.

As he held me, I felt strange. I rested my forehead on the center of his chest for a moment. Breathing deeply, I caught a hint of Jamie’s scent, warm and clean. For a moment, I forgot about my worries: how in less than a month I would be taking care of a newborn, what I would do if she wouldn’t stop crying, if I’d be a terrible mother. Everything faded into the background.

It was just us, Claire and Jamie. He would help me through this, as would all my family. I felt brave, in his arms.

I felt perfect.

#outlander #outlander fanfic #outlander au #jamie and claire #lullaby 18 #perfect jamie is perfect

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pivitor · 4 years

Text

Emotional Roller-Coaster This Week

So, the last eight days have been an absolute whirlwind. Some really great things happened. Some really bad things happened. I’m kinda still reeling. I had some big firsts, and spent some time with great friends, had some real catharsis. I also fell further into depression than I have in a long, long time, and, oh yeah, got diagnosed with a chronic illness.

I need to get this all off my chest, cause I’m drowning. Join me?

Before we start, there’s two things you need to know about me. Both are things I’ve mentioned in bits and pieces on here, but here’s the full story:

1. Three months ago I had shoulder surgery to repair a torn labrum (I technically tore it when I dislocated my arm in high school, and it’s been popping out on me once every other year or so ever since, but my most recent [and now final] dislocation was very bad and sent me right to the doctor). I spent about two weeks out of work, just sitting at home on the couch in a sling. The pain wasn’t great, but it was worse mentally: I put on a couple pounds and immediately started to feel terrible about myself, and being stuck at home when I wanted to be out there, doing stuff with friends or with guys or to reach a point where I can move out, felt terrible. I wasn’t in a great headspace for a long time. As of now I have about 95% of my arm function back, and am fully healed, just trying to get back the last of my range of motion and gradually increase back to my old strength threshold.

2. This one is a bit more complicated. I’ve talked a lot here about how I grew up in a cult, but I never went into further detail. Well, here we go: I was a J*hovah’s W*tness. (I’m censoring this because I don’t want this showing up in searches) It wasn’t something I would have ever chose for myself, but when you’re born into it, you’re pretty heavily indoctrinated -- I thought it was the gospel truth despite having many reasons not to. They’re a very homophobic organization, so growing up in it wrecked my self esteem. My entire childhood and time as a teenager I thought I was worthless and doomed, destined for eternal destruction. I was often suicidal. When I was about 18 or 19 the cult printed an article “clarifying” their view on homosexuality, and said they recognized that some people are just naturally attracted to the same gender and as long as they don’t act on it they’re still “acceptable” to God. It’s dangerous bullshit that makes me so angry now, but as a brainwashed, suicidal teenager, it felt like the only chance I had to live a worthwhile life, so I got baptized into the religion, which is the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life, because once you’re a baptized member of the cult, if you leave you’ll be shunned by everyone you’ve ever known. Your own parents will treat you as if you’re dead. I was very zealous for a year or two before realizing that I just couldn’t do it anymore, but it’s taken me nearly ten years to fully wake up from the indoctrination, read information from outside religions, scientists, and former members who have left. Currently I still live with my family and have to pretend to still believe (because the moment I don’t they’ll kick me out on the street), and am on the cusp of two promotions at work. As soon as those go through, I should be able to save money to move out, which I wanna do before the summer, and then I’ll be completely free.

Okay, the rollercoaster week itself:

Pre-Monday: For about a week, a week and a half before this all started, I’d been experiencing some pain in my side that was making it hard to sit up for long periods of time. This normally would’ve been a major red flag, but thanks to the shoulder surgery, I’d been having random back pains off and on recently anyway. I assumed it was related to me overcompensating for the shoulder and left it alone. Big mistake.

Monday: So one of my promotions at work involves a coaching center we’re launching. We were supposed to do our first presentation last Monday, and when my boss showed up for it, everything fell apart. It wasn’t totally my fault -- the general condition of the office itself wasn’t up to par, and the boss recognized that there wasn’t much I could do about that -- but a lot was, and I spent all week trying to fix things and get them running, and running into one major roadblock and frustration after another. We’re finally doing the presentation today, but it technically still isn’t 100% fixed. Work has been a major, major source of stress all week. I don’t think I’ll mention it again because there’s not much more to it than what I’ve listed here, but remember that it’s hanging over my head all week.

Monday night I was invited to a birthday party for a friend from my gym. Since the cult doesn’t celebrate holidays, I’d never actually been a birthday party before, complete with cake and singing happy birthday and everything. It was really nice -- even though it was truly just a bunch of guys hanging around a bar watching the Eagles, it still felt like something really special. I also spent about a half an hour in my car before I walked into the bar trying not to hyperventilate. I don’t feel guilty at all as I may have once, but I was still really worried about being seen by someone and my family finding out.

Wednesday: Tuesday was my only truly normal day of the week, and even then, we had my cousin staying with us up until Wednesday, so even then it wasn’t truly normal. We normally have church on Thursday nights (I have to attend so as not to blow my cover, but I tend to stand in the lobby and play on my phone the entire time; it’s a nice chance to catch up on my reading usually), but I had a concert on Thursday I was not going to miss, so I told my parents I was going to a different congregation on Wednesday night, but instead I went to Starbucks and caught up on Crisis on Infinite Earths. It’s...depressing that this is what I’m reduced to, but I was happy that it finally occurred to me to just...lie about it.

When I got home and took off my shirt to change into my pajamas, I noticed a patchy, red rash on my stomach, side, and back, right around the same area I’d been having pain for the last week or two. I’d absolutely never had anything like this happen before, and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. I crossed my fingers that it was an allergic reaction, put some cortisone cream on it, and decided to wait a couple days to see if anything changed.

Thursday: On Thursday I drove up to Philly after work, and ate a few slices at my favorite pizza place, reading comics, until it was time for the concert. It was a free show from Pkew Pkew Pkew, a band I truly, truly love, and it was one of my favorite shows of the year. Just pure joy. They played for about an hour, but were the opening act, and I don’t care for the headliner (Beach Slang), so I had originally had a few ideas about what I could do afterwards, considering that their set was over by 10 or so. I could go home (coward’s option), I could go to the Barcade. What I really wanted to do was go to a gay bar or club. I’d gone right before my surgery and had a great time, but I’d been avoiding going back (or joining a dating app or anything else) until my arm fully healed because it would very much have gotten in the way of doing anything physical. I was finally in the place where I could use my arm, but now I had that strange mysterious rash, and didn’t think it was right to do anything like that until I’d figured it out/gotten it cleared up. I don’t wanna pass anything on to anybody.

By sheer coincidence, Philly’s Emo Night ended up being this very same night (this one is held once a month), so I ended up heading over there and dancing until 2AM. I got very drunk and had a fantastic time. But there were a lot of couples. There was this girl that kept hitting on me, and then getting pissy when I didn’t reciprocate. There was this extremely hot dude in a Misfits hoodie, and early in the night we were the only two who were dancing, and he gave me a high five that he pulled into a bro hug after the song, which got me all riled up, but I couldn’t work it into anything else haha. And then this group of about four guys or so showed up, dancing all night, very affectionate, cupping each other’s faces when they talked to each other and all that. I’d seen them before and both times thought they might be gay, so I stuck close and was kinda part of their group for the night, which was really really fun. At the end of the night, one of them mentioned their girlfriend, and I reeled way more than I had any right to. I had a fantastic night. I went home feeling very alone.

Friday: Friday was my gym’s Christmas Party, which, much like Monday, was my first ever Christmas Party. I had a really fun time chatting with everyone, eating, watching one friend get drunk, try to jump up on the rings, and get dragged home by his wife. We had rowing contests and the losers had to take shots. But there was one guy there I’ve always had a crush on, a very straight, very married guy, and he was looking extremely hot and was acting extremely funny all night, and it was rough. I went home and dreamed about him all night. I woke up feeling even more alone and frustrated.

Saturday: I was pretty depressed and listless by this point. Feeling really sorry for myself despite all the fun I’d had all week. I had plans to drive up to Asbury Park for an Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties show and I just...really didn’t feel like going. But I drug myself out of bed and made myself go, because you don’t miss the gig. Before the show I wandered around Asbury, basically torturing myself. I wanted to visit a restaurant but had eaten lunch too late and wasn’t hungry. I found a gay club but still had that rash, so I didn’t wanna go in. I ended up standing on the beach, in the dark, finally having a genuine smile as I dodged the waves, but also just thinking about how sometimes Kangaroos just walk into the ocean and...never come back. I was not in a good headspace. I made myself get off the beach.

The show though...damn, that show. Dan played the second Aaron West album, Routine Maintenance, from front to back, and it’s an album about Aaron making the people in his life proud of him, about his friends giving him direction, about finding redemption through being there for his family in their darkest hour. That kind of shit is my kryptonite to begin with, but all I could think about was how all I had ever wanted in my life was to make my family proud, and how I’d never be able to do it, how someday soon they’re just...never gonna talk to me again. I cried twice during the set. And afterwards I got to hug Dan and tell him how much the album fucks me up. It was really cathartic. I felt the cloud start to lift.

Sunday: So Sunday I finally go to the doctor about this fucking rash, which hadn’t gotten any worse but had not gotten any better either. The diagnosis?

I have fucking shingles.

For those who don’t know, shingles is the chicken pox virus. After you’ve had chicken pox it never really leaves your body -- it stores itself away in your nerves. As an adult, it can reemerge as shingles, which begins as an intense pain, then advances into painful rashes on one side of your torso. Without intervention, they can continue to spread and become almost immobilizing. I’m currently on a pill I have to take three times a day for seven days, which will stop the progression of the shingles, and then it will heal up on its own, but it could take a few weeks.

Thankfully, I’m not contagious -- I can only spread the disease if someone has prolonged, direct contact with the rashes. I can be around people, but like I feared, it does rule out sex for a while. The worst part is that shingles as a disease can’t really be healed. The symptoms will go away, but I’ll be susceptible to outbreaks the rest of my life. Fortunately, the doctor made it sound pretty manageable -- the pain in my side, in that exact same spot, will always be my first symptom, so as soon as I feel that I need to get to a doctor and get back on the seven day medication to end the flare-up. It doesn’t sound like shingles flare-ups are super common either -- reading up on it, it looks like most people have, at the most, three outbreaks in their life. But, it’s still a chronic illness, and it’s one that’s very rare to emerge at this young of an age -- this is something you normally get in your fifties or sixties, not your early thirties!

Honestly, I could only laugh. Just my luck, right? I’m so frustrated. My arm’s finally reached the point where I can get back to trying to pursue guys, but nope! the shingles has to postpone it a few more weeks :/

But despite it all, the depression of the rest of the week had mostly lifted. I had processed it. I was feeling better. For a while.

Back in the spring I had joined a subreddit for former members of the cult, which is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, as it let me share my story with people who had been there and understood, and really helped clear out the last remnants of the programming from my brain. Every once in a while different gay Ex cult member will contact me on there, and I’ve struck up a few nice casual friendships. Last week a guy reached out to me on there looking for friends in the same situation as him, and I replied, and on Friday he finally replied back, and we texted each off and on Saturday and Sunday morning. Sunday night, though, we got into a deeper conversation. He’s in his early twenties, and some of the stuff he was asking for advice about made it sound like he was just starting to wake up from the programming and just starting to think about leaving and being gay and everything. Eventually, as we talk more, I find out that that’s not fully the case. He’s jealous of some of the stuff I’ve done that he hasn’t -- going to Pride, going to gay bars -- but unlike me, he’s had a fair amount of sex. Like any closeted Witness, he had to drive into unfamiliar cities to do so, and it’s a strategy I’ve thought of trying but never pulled off.

I dunno, I’m so depressed. I feel like such a failure. I know having sex doesn’t make you a better person, and not having sex doesn’t intrinsically make you a failure. But I feel like this because I want it so badly, because I always have, and I could have been doing it for years, and I’ve been really forced to confront the fact that it’s my own fear that’s been getting in my way all this time. If I’d really tried I could’ve done it by now. If I really tried I probably could’ve moved out and started my new life by now -- I’d probably be dirt broke in an apartment with like eight roommates, but I could’ve done it. I don’t feel like anybody else, including this guy I was chatting with, have been judging me for this, but I’m pretty disgusted with myself, irrational as it may be. I know it’s not true, but I feel like my whole life has been a waste of time. And I’m so fucking sick of it.

So. This is everything I’ve been processing this week. I don’t really know what to do with it. I’ve gotta be patient a little while longer. Keep working on my real estate licensing test so I can make some more money. Wait for the shingles to heal up. Get on Grindr and just, fucking, fuck some dude the moment I’m cleared up.

But fuck, I’m so fucking sick of waiting.

#pivitor

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familyagrestefanblog · 5 years

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Stormy weather 2

I've just been watching Stormy weather 2 and now I really have to get my opinion out, I'm genuinely angry. This. THIS is what you all are so pissy about? Are you all kidding me??

That was a more than solid recap episode, summarizing all the changes of the past seasons, wrapping it up and forshadow and set up the new ones. I literally can't with this Fandom anymore JESUS GIVE ME STRENGTH yall are blinder as you pretend Adrien is! Playing high and mighty and complain about the writing when, it's seems like, 90% of this Fandom wouldn't recognize appropriate writing FOR A SHOW WITH A STRUCTURE LIKE THIS when it would hit you in the face! I really didn't wanted to be like this and thought about just saying nothing but then I watch the actual episode and you all are so obliviously and aggressively HATEFUL against this show rn I freaking CAN'T anymore!

"we did see the fight with stormy weather!" We didn't NEED to see the fight because this wasn't a normal akuma-fighting-episode. You wanna see them fighting against her? Watch the first SW episode, that episode was about her and dealing with her. THIS episode rightfully kept its priorities somewhere else, the characters and their recaps! (PLUS the reason they chose Stormy weather is because the first one was the pilot for the entire show, it's only fitting to use her for the recap) Besides in the last part of the fight we were in the pov of the citizens, we were supposed to see the fights for once with their eyes! They were scared, confused and glued on their tvs and phones to follow the news to at least understand a little bit what's going on! You complain about not seeing the fight? Oh well my dearies THAT WAS THE POINT! The citizens never get to see what we see and in an episode where the fight is literally just an afterthought, it was the perfect opportunity to show us that side of reality.

"the episode was mostly scene from other episodes?" And how is that a problem with A RECAP EPISODE? Just because old scenes were reused doesn't it automatically make the episode bad. Just the fact that some of you think that way makes me rip my hair out in frustration! Yes alot of old scenes were used again, but it was done so the characters could give us their thoughts and opinions on them WHILE giving the happening and purpose of the scenes in the first place a conclusion and wrapping them up for what's to come. "the scenes went on too long!" well I personally disagree that it got too much, but here at least I can understand possible complaints. There certainly were scenes (like the CN and LB glaciator scene) that could have been cut down a little (but really not too much) but once again, I didn't mind. Because I figured that these scenes were chosen for a reason, so casual viewers and kids need all the informations given in them, so yeah I DIDN'T MIND

"they undid all of Chloes character development!" No they didn't, because the show never pretended like Chloe suddenly turned into a better person after being a jerk and bully for so long. Everything the show did up to this point was showing us that Chloe IS capable of changing and that she'll eventually grow into her better self and a hero in time, with patience and the right motivation. We are in season 3 of 6, why are you all expecting the show to unrealistically rush this redemption? We. Have. TIME! "This only proves that Chloe shouldn't have gotten the miraculous!" not right but not exactly wrong either. It proves that Chloe rn shouldn't be giving the miraculous for good or in normal fights that don't involve her parents because she isn't worthy of it yet. That is why the episode makes a point by showing us LB and CN not reacting to Chloes "queen bee signal" while at the same time showing us that Chloe might think she deserves to be a part of this already but everything she has done in recent past and even THIS EPISODE tells us the complete opposite. Still I understand complaints that Chloe shouldn't be the bee miraculous holder in general but I understand the two times she was Queen Bee (one was against her father so yeah makes sense and the other time was in the heros day finale where Hawkmoth literally was on the loose alongside 10.000 other akuma villains with no end in sight. I can understand the logic of giving it to her again since a fight like that certainly doesn't need a totally inexperienced hero in there and Chloe at least knows how the powers work so yeah 2.0) and the overall idea of what her character is supposed to represent in the end. Chloes character is there to show that even a rotten bully child is eventually capable of redemption and becoming a good person and hero. That is a valid and important topic in a kids/family show. I think alot of people often forget that this show is not only there to tell a "lovey dopey everything gone bad can be resolved and learned in 20 minutes go lucky story" this show and its characters are literally there to help and guide children/the viewers (I'm 20 and Adrien helps me ALOT to deal with my family issues honestly). Believe it or not children/people like Chloe exist and so do the people who have to deal with them. And it helps them NOTHING when they make Chloe a "look at what a horrible person she has been for YEARS but oh would you look at that! Now she did a couple of good things, obviously that means that she left most of her horrible ways in the past and we don't have to worry about her relapseing again, she's only getting better now" character. Honestly that helps nobody because real life people don't behave and change like that. The way they are doing it rn is very good, because this way we can see the transition between villain/bully Chloe to good/redeemed hero and friend Chloe in alot of varieties and steps to make her character more fleshed out and relatable to the audience so they actually understand the complexity of a person/situation like that and that she IS indeed worthy of redemption after everything she has done (keep in mind, she's 14! She may have done horrible horrible stuff but a 14 year old CHILD should ALWAYS be allowed to change and redeem herself).

Okay last one now since it's already half past fuck in the morning.

"Adrien is a stupid idiot for dismissing/not realizing it was Marinettes poem and they are only unnecessarily stretching the love confession out" okay first of all, Adrien DID figure out it was Marinettes poem. He no shit acknowledged that and I have no idea how yall missed that. Second of all, Marinettes love confession/feelings for him are a BIG part of the structure and overall plot of the show and it will continue to be that way (same for CN and LB), so yeah of course they are stretching it what are you expecting here? Besides, SW2 is an episode that is written to watchable everywhere in season 3, so if you actually expected from the end scene to end any other way than the writing is not the problem here. It's more than logical and obvious at this point that they cant/wouldn't do the actual step of Marinettes actually and REALLY confessing her love to him(that's a move for like the season 4 finale). But still they got us further in the plot. Adrien acknowledged the possibility but dismissed it for obvious reasons I'm getting to in a bit. Still, the step of him connecting the dots was there, stop pretending like it wasn't. Yes its stretches the whole confession thing and I KNOW that's not what yall impatient shippers wanna see, but that doesn't change the fact that the "dismissing" step is a valid and by God more than enough forshadowed step for this show to take (plus do you all actually think it's an appropriate way for the show to let Adrien find out about Marinettes love for him FOR GOOD in Form of a letter and an old poem? Gosh people Marinette deserves better than that. I'm proud of her for how far she has come but this plot arc of hers deserves a better solution than THIS). And last but not least, third of all. Adrien had solid reasons to dismiss the idea of Marinettes being in love with him, yall just pretend like literally 95% all the shows plot doesn't exists because it doesn't play out the way you want or isn't BAM IN YOUR FACE. The whole "and there is Luka" thing is not coming out of nowhere yknow? Adrien saw that Marinette showed interest in Luka and Luka in her in "frozer" plus the episode gave us a flashback of "troublemaker" where Marinette literally SAYS TO HIM no I'm not into you, I'm into fashion. I like you/I'm interested in you BUT NOT LIKE THAT! Honestly, if a friend of mine said that to me and showed interest in someone else I also would tend to dismiss the option of them being in love with me. PLUS, same as with Chloe Adriens character is actually supposed to HELP children/the viewer in simular situations as them. And the way some of you react to Adrien it tells me that you have a better home situation as him (which im REALLY glad about believe me) still you all gotta accept that children with bad parent/s like Adrien exists and they NEED to see themselves represented and dealt with. Gabriel is a horribly neglectful and distant parent and THIS can fuck up a child self worth and self esteem REEEEAL GOOD believe me. Chances are not low that Adrien couldn't believe That anybody could actually be in love with him, and even if, they would totally only be in love with the "perfect Adrien" he has to be in public. The show certainly showed us enough of Adriens insecurities, self esteem issues and inferior complex to make this an possible option. Never forget that these characters are made the way they are to help and tell/teach something to the audience even if sometimes the character or the lesson provided and learned or helped with IS NOT FOR YOU. Adriens whole character helps me personally IMMENSELY but I still see him being dismissed left and right in the Fandom. Same way with Alya for example for me, she and her arc are not made for me, still I respect her presence and importants in the show.

Okay, I'm gonna make a cut here now cuz its REALLY late now but this was worth it.

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug #chat noir #adrien agreste #cat noir #gabriel agreste #ml spoilers #ladybug #marinette dupen chang #ml season 3 #ml stormy weather 2 #stormy weather #ml fandom rant #chloe bourgeois #queen bee

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ahgastae · 5 years

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💖 fire escape character bgs 💞

hey, everyone!! this is a bit different from what i usually post, but i wanted to do a lil something extra to make up for missing updates recently. so, i decided i wanted to give you guys a little bit more background regarding the characters in fire escape felonies. it’s not anything too story breaking or spoiler-y, but just to kinda get a better idea of the characters and their relationships with each other. it’s also perfectly okay if you’d like to ignore this!! like i said it has no bearing on the actual story and won’t affect it in any way!

now, in the words of jeon jungkook, let’s get it! (under the cut bc this might get a lil long lol)

starting off w the main trio in apartment 320

l/n y/n

twitter @: thotticus

like her twitter bio says, part time student, full time gamer

y/n’s a youtube gamer and has amassed a pretty sizable following for herself

not as much as jungkook tho, something the streamer will never miss a chance to point out

she mostly deals with single player games, the hot new releases that everyone’s talking about

every once in a while she’ll play something mulitplayer w kook but he always brags about how much better he is than her

“wE’Re On tHe SAmE TeAM yOu AsS >:(((((”

“ur still shit lol”

she also vlogs sometimes too but it’s kinda hard when yoongi doesn’t like to be on camera and jungkook is,,,,,jungkook

the only relief she gets is when she’s in class

tho as a psych major even that’s not very much lol

at least the TA’s cute

jeon jungkook

twitter @: goldnmaknae

used to be a uni student, now a gaming streamer online

streamer, everyone, not youtuber

call him a youtuber and he’ll flip his shit

(looking @ you, yoongi)

mostly plays online mutliplayer games like overwatch or (to y/n’s disgust) fortnite

loves to flex how many more followers he has than y/n

like he fuckin lives for it

but despite how much he likes to tease her, he will play w y/n on stream sometimes

tbh those are probably some of his viewers’ fav streams

their banter and absolute fucking lack of brain cells between them makes for some pretty goldn moments

(eh?? eh???)

(i’m sorry i’ll just move on lol)

min yoongi

claims he doesn’t have a twitter

(tho jungkook firmly believes he has a secret acct to stalk him and y/n with)

“i go to work to get away from you idiots, why tf would i want to see what bullshit you put online??”\

jk, still: suspicious (←_←)

yoongi says he works at a music shop and his roommates are too trusting and too dumb to actually look into it

he seriously wonders how they haven’t started to question it

like ffs sometimes he doesn’t come home until well past midnight and neither of them even notice??

how they both managed to get into college is and always be a mystery to him

especially after he caught them trying to wash g fuel out of holly’s fur

that’s pretty much how yoongi’s life goes

when he’s not at work, he’s either trying to keep his disaster roommates from killing each other or he’s trying not to strangle them himself

and he’s come a lot closer to the latter than he’d like to admit

next is the gang above, lovely apartment 420

kim taehyung

twitter @: cgv

not many people know it, but taehyung is actually the anonymous singer ‘v’!

he keeps his identity super well guarded, only telling the people he pretty much trusts with his life

(yes, that includes jimin)

bc he can pretty much choose his own schedule and work from home he spends a lot of time alone in the apartment

a lot,,,of time

impulsively dyes his hair pretty much every other week bc he gets bored and lonely

(rip jimin’s bathroom)

but!!! his music brings money in and it’s bc of his anonymity that he gets to keep his private life, too so he feels like he can’t really complain

owns the cutest doggo in the world aka yeontan

(admittedly another impulsive decision when he was left alone but oh well)

would literally go to hell and back for his dog

and his friends too, i guess, but being a yeontan stan comes first ya know??

park jimin

twitter @: princeofbusan

jimin teaches contemporary dance at a local studio

his class are mostly oriented for teens and young adults

(and he totally doesn’t get a bunch of teenage girls that are just in his classes bc he’s cute ofc not lol)

the epitome of ‘looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you’

sweet and understanding while teaching but is constantly one step from tearing someone’s head off when he’s w his friends

most of the time poor tae ends up falling the victim

he understand that taehyung gets antsy being home by himself so much but jimin just cannot handle it always being at fucking 11

sometimes he just wants to come home and relax but instead he has to wrestle his pillow away from yeontan or scrub his hands raw trying to keep taehyung’s stupid hair dye from staining his counter top

so yeah, he does get a little pissy sometimes

but that doesn’t mean he still wouldn’t do anything he can to help his friends

believe it or not, there’s actually a pretty big heart in that smol angry body of his

jung hoseok

twitter @: hopeworld

hoseok works at the same dance studio as jimin, except he teaches hip hop and modern

his classes are mainly children and preteens

seriously tho all the kids adore him and their parents love that he’s able to give them a break for an hour or two

unlike jimin, hobi looks like a cinnamon roll and is actually a cinnamon roll

tries his best to act as the mediator in the apartment, even if that means sometimes pissing off one of his two roommates

(spoiler alert: it’s mostly jimin)

he’s probably the most understanding of the three, getting where jimin’s frustrations are coming from but knowing that tae doesn’t always really think things through

but he also hates taking sides, and that’s why he sometimes chooses to stay out of it completely

he’ll hang out at the studio and work on choreography or teaching methods to keep himself occupied

at least,,,until one of them drag him back into things to fix it

just stay positive, hoseok

a little hope can go a long ways

and finally, the namjin condo

kim seokjin

twitter @: lejindary

jin works as a pretty well known chef in the city

a very important skill, he says, bc they would have been dead after 3 days if he let namjoon cook

joon somewhat takes offense to this statement

jin doesn’t give a shit

him and hoseok met each other in college, and kept in touch even after they both graduated and moved in with their own dumbass roomies

jin actually met namjoon through hobi

hoseok and namjoon used to be roommates bc they were in the same year, but joon needed someone else to help him with rent after hobi moved out

hoseok suggested seokjin (partially bc he knew namjoon wouldn’t survive cooking on his own) and the rest is history

kim namjoon

twitter @: rmofficial

one h*ckin smart boi

still going to uni for his masters in psychology

lived w hoseok back when they were both getting their bachelors, but moved in with jin after hoseok graduated

he TAs for one of the bachelor’s level psych courses, but his ‘primary’ career is the music he makes outside of school

namjoon is the rapper RM, insanely popular both locally and online

he’s incredibly grateful, but even he has trouble balancing everything in his life every once in a while

(and on his lowest days, he sometimes wishes he’d gone the anonymous route like taehyung)

that’s why, like hoseok, he tries his best to stay out of any arguments among their friend group

it’s not that he doesn’t care, he’s just got way too much going on to worry about some petty disagreement

but they can still always count on joon to help when they really need it

#bts x reader #bts social media au #bts texts #bts fake texts #bts crack #bts fluff #fire escape extra

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ncko-art · 5 years

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I honestly don't like Bakugo and don't understand why he is popular when he is an absolute bully in so many ways. He literally beat up Deku for getting into the same school as him.. who freaking does that? And he told him to go kill himself. basically lets everyone know he is above them, he hasn't apologized for anything he has done to Deku at all and he is somehow so liked, even loved. He reminds me of Ichigo in some ways from Bleach but he will never be as kind as him deep down, he is just bad

Same?? Bakugo’s supposed development is honestly so bad, I don’t even know where to start.

Long rant

I had very little issues with Bakugo in the first two seasons. Granted, he was a total dick in the first season but you could tell he was learning from his setbacks and adapting. He wasn’t obnoxiously arrogant and conceited to an astounding degree anymore, he was learning, which was mostly evident in the Sports Festival. True, he was still somewhat unlikable but he was getting better.

The moment the kacchan vs deku part 2 fight rolled around, his development began regressing in my opinion. He seemingly turned nicer for a bit after the fight, by giving Deku pointers on how to improve his fighting style and kind of encouraging him to become stronger as All Might’s successor but that was it. After that he became downright pissy whenever Deku progressed. He was gleaming with satisfaction when Aizawa announced that the class mightn’t be allowed to have internships, simply because if Bakugo couldn’t go, then no one should. When Deku would talk about his internship experience, he would cover his ears and yell “stop talking about how he’s ahead of me!”, you know, like a literal toddler, and he’d shout at Kirishima to tell him what he’s been doing on the field. Kirishima’s status as Bakugo’s nanny is literally the reason why I’ve lost a bit of respect for him as well. But that’s another story.

I never understood the idea behind why All Might told Bakugo the origins of One for All, because as far as I’m concerned, he didn’t need to know. Bakugo decided he’d kept the secret to himself back then, but in the recent chapters he says that All Might and Deku were the ones to force him to keep the secret and that he should be allowed to be present any time they talk about Deku’s Quirk. What the hell? (And even when they do tell him what’s up, he’s just mocking Deku as usual.)

Not to mention that him failing the License Exam wasn’t because of the aftermath of the Kamino Incident, as All Might says it was, it was simply because Bakugo is a shit person who doesn’t care about saving people. If it was meant to be portrait as if Bakugo was going through some stuff emotionally and that sabotaged his chances of retaining his points, it should’ve been executed better because I couldn’t tell the difference between that and how Bakugo normally behaves.

All he’s done, from the introduction of the Big Three to the most recent chapters, is scream and be unpleasant. I cannot imagine why anyone would want to be around him when he respects no one. There was this tiny panel once where Bakugo smiled to himself because Deku said a wrong answer to a math equation and all i could think was “what a literal loser.”

If Bakugo ever realized how shitty he is when he’s surrounded by nothing but kind and decent people and learn from them like any common person would, I’d honest to God respect him a lot. As it is, his character development fluctuates and it’s so tiring to see, especially when it sounds like Horikoshi can’t even remember certain conversations properly. Seeing Bakugo being voted the most popular character in the latest poll just adds to the frustration, when Mirio is right here and deserving of the title.

So yeah, Bakugo is an ass and his popularity astounds me.

#Anonymous #bnha spoilers #bakugo katsuki #i have all the receipts ready lmaoo #im not discouraging people from liking him #i just personally cant find him likable at all #or even well-written

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angelfiume · 5 years

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Mouth Like A Sailor Part 3

Last part for tonight. I will be back with more if yall like it!

The morning after our little night out, I wrote a note to Sophie and Jean and left as the were still sleeping. I woulda walked back home, but Soph's house was a while from my place. I took the trail into town and waited at the bus-station for the 7 AM. The city was real quiet at this time in the morning, either everyone was just now waking up, or had just gone to sleep. Nothing was even open yet, except for the 24/7 places at the plaza, but I wasn't in any rush to get a cup of old coffee that wasn't even hot. I saw the bus come rolling down the hill, the sun was starting to rise. I handed the driver 25 cents (you only had to pay from 10 PM till 8), and kept to myself the whole ride back to my neighborhood. It was Saturday so Darry and Soda were getting ready for work and the rest of their outfit was probably gonna get to the house soon. I accidently slammed the door on my way in- a habit Darry would probably be yelling at me for the rest of my life. Steve, Soda's best friend, was lying on the couch having an awful loud conversation with Soda, who was in the shower. We smiled at each other briefly and I went to my room at the back of the house. I used to be real close to the whole gang when we were all younger, but it started getting awkward when I turned twelve and my mom gave me this long talk about how a "young lady" shouldn't be out late with "young men" and she went off the one day she walked in my old room and saw Dally and I just hanging out all innocent like. After those lectures I started hanging out more just with girls and only really spent time with my brothers' friends when they were around. It wasn't too heartbroken about it as Dal was the one I spent the most time with and he liked me a whole lot more than I liked him. Even as a kid Dally was tough and harsh and his idea of a fun game was pulling my hair and taking play-fights way to serious. He's not too bad now, now he just teases me relentlessly about my voice and tries to tell me I'm flat chested and even my ass makes me look like a boy. Which is ridiculous because I know I'm a looker and so does the rest of Tulsa, he just thinks it's cute to hurt girls' feelings is all. I got out of yesterday's clothes and cleaned off my makeup from last night. Most of the things I owned used to be my mom's when she was in college, before she had four kids. The other twenty-five percent of what I owned were actually hand-me downs from my brothers, a whole lot of that being their shoes from junior high, shirts, and a pair of soda's old 501s. I got into my mom's old hip-huggers, a black blouse, and Pony's recently out-grown converse. On my way into the kitchen for a cup of coffee I bumped into Soda who whipped around to look at me with a nervous expression, my stomach dropped, I was either in trouble or something real bad had happened overnight, Soda was rarely ever bothered.

"What? Soda, Darry didn't check to see where I was last night, did he?" I asked shakily, Darry didn't just sound scary, but he was real smart, he knew what to take away from me that I would get upset about.

"No, no but he's gonna get suspicious, Marli, you smell like you drank all night!" He whispered back at me, "You better go brush your teeth and put some perfume on or something, hell just light a smoke."

"OK,OK, thanks Soda." I ran back to my room to grab a cancer stick, I hadn't even had much to drink last night, but Soda and Darry had this odd talent for smell, I remember last week I quickly got outta a fight with Darry with some bullshit lie when he smelled pot in my car I had smoked a month before. I walked out puffing on a cigarette, which of course Darry wasn't gonna be too happy about, but rather that than alcohol. I walked out to the porch to have it, luckily before Darry even turned around to see me walk out.

"Hey Marls, you look rough, man, what's the matter with you?" A deep voice laughed from the concrete steps, "Musta been one helluva night."

"Shut-up Dal! This door is most screen, you don't think Darry won't rip my head off if he suspects something?" I snapped in a hushed voice.

Dally raised his eyebrows and took my cigarette, taking a long drag before handing it back, "Be cool, man, he's not gonna know you went all the way to that bar just cause of some smart-ass comment I made."

"Yeah? Guess so. How the hell did you even know where I was last night? Doubt you have half the dough to leave this neighborhood anyhow."

"For some reason people around here seem to think you're a real cool broad, did ya know that?" Dallas chuckled, looking up at me from the ground, "Some socy girls were yappin at the drive-in about how that Sophie was goin' all the way to Oklahoma City to see some celebrity or something, and you weren't here last night, so where else would you be?"

"Hmm, well as long as that don't get within a miles radius of the Curtis Residence, I guess that's alright." I sighed and took one last drag before heading inside.

Darry was walking around looking as stressed-out as ever, with a piece of toast in his mouth, a cup of coffee in one hand and the other trying to tuck his shirt in. Luckily, he didn't even give me half a glance, so I was pretty much in the clear. Ponyboy was sitting on the couch next to Two-bit, looking surly as ever. He was a real smart kid, but a little on the awkward side. I could tell he wasn't too confident in his steps just yet, but I didn't judge him too hard on it, I'm still figuring my place out in the world. Darry could get pissy at him a lot, and Steve wasn't too keen on him either. I hate to think it's a girl thing, but I always held a special place in my heart for kids. He was my kid brother, so he annoyed the shit outta me, but he was alright. Soda came running through the living room, looking for his DX shirt, I just can't believe he refuses to set it out for himself the night before, as every damn morning he runs around like a scalded cat looking for the damn thing. He pushed me outta his way and started around the rest of our small house. I went in to get a coffee and saw that Dal had followed me into the kitchen. I turned around to look at him, immediately my stomach did a little flip. I had seen that look before at a lot of guys' faces and it never really made me feel all flattered at shit, just kinda uncomfortable. But for Dally I changed a little, he and I had been so close as kids and even after that he hung on to our friendship more than the rest of the gang. I didn't say anything, I just walked back to my room, what could I have said? I sure as hell wouldn't be caught trying to chat him up, I knew better than that. He wasn't necessarily a player, he's only had one girl at a time and always kept her close, but he was still a dick! He didn't have a lot of respect for girls, he always did for me and the other girls he knew, but I'd like to know the guy I date doesn't embarrass girls on the street just for kicks. Not even that, but my brothers would think I'm just the dumbest little thing to walk the earth if we ever did become anything. I remember last summer, I had a short-lived fling with this 22 year old in the Army on leave, and when I told Darry, he said "Marls, I don't wanna tell you how to live your life, but c'mon don't be just another greasy girl in our neighborhood who thinks she's hot shit for getting in with older men. You're just being trashy." Usually when my brothers say stuff like that to me I don't care, cause that's what siblings do, we are SUPPOSED to hate each other, but this time it was different. He wasn't calling me trashy as an annoying older brother, he really meant it. My brothers really care about me, Soda mostly just cause he cares about everybody. But Darry will always just judge me before he stands up for me, same with Ponyboy,he can sure say a lot of shit about Darry, but at the end of the day those two are a lot more similar than Soda and I, and we're twins. I'm probably overthinking it all anyways, maybe Dallas was just being an objective jerk, but that's not the first time, nor the mildest thing, that has happened between us.

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