#anyway i saw it and was like 'okay idk why they sent this but i dont have a response so im just gonna. move on'

[headless-horsepossum]

@anon if you see this I'm reluctant to answer your ask bc I Don't Have Anything To Say and I am Confused by the fact that you went it twice 😅 but for the record it's not really the adhd meds I'm worried about lmao

#its the Mix Of Many Medications. the testosterone. and the Nebulously Diagnozed Illness #(and also the gay sex i guess. lmao) #anyway what i think your ask is trying to communicate is 'they let me give blood even though i am on adhd meds' #which. genuinely do not feel bad but like. okay? 😅 #its such a specific story that a. i cant tell what the main takeaway is supposed to be #and b. i truly am like. ...okay?? im happy for you or sorry that happened #anyway i saw it and was like 'okay idk why they sent this but i dont have a response so im just gonna. move on' #and then it...... Appeared In My Inbox A Second Time #which is. like. um. im confused by this #......anyway. uh. #delete later #also yk the thing about anon asks is i cant make this easier for the sender to see in any way but if you do happen to come across this. #Thats Why I Didnt Answer 😅

[zreamy]

i'll love you forever

pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader

summary: you were sunghoon's first everything; first friend, first love, and first heartbreak. after years of quietly crushing on you, he was finally ready to confess. so ready to confess, that he told his parents the two of you were already dating! it was an easy enough lie to keep up and he kept it up for months, what could possibly go wrong? he thought. little did he know, you would have a falling out and stop talking for months.. and then, you'd both get invited to spend a week at home with his parents, who still believe you're his girlfriend.

genre: smut, fluff, angst, college au, childhood best friends to lovers, fake dating

warnings: minors dni, fake dating is pretty mild (sorry), she kinda doesn’t rate him at the start, these two kind of exist in a vacuum a little bit idk i had a self-enforced word count to stick to and broke it.. (im within the 10% allowance !), sunghoon in a vest, sunghoon arms, sunghoon

word count: 21,858

playlist: click here.. (for my non-spotify babes, the main song is light by wave to earth (which for some reason i put last.. whatever))

author's note: for silly @asahicore. happy birthday pooks i hope it's amazing and that u enjoy reading this when u have the time !!! LOL (lots of love) also im never writing without telling you things again this was so absurd.

to everyone else.. ok happy reading also emma did not beta read this so im sure it's missing its charm .. anyway it's for emma not you 😭 anyway i hope u enjoy regardless and lmk ur thoughts! omg this is the first fic im nervous about posting.......... please enjoy or else.

In the three years since Park Sunghoon moved away for university, he’d been doing a pretty good job of going home to see his parents. They’d welcome their baby back to the nest with open arms and wide grins. With a rehearsed level of indifference, his younger sister, Yeji, would say, “Oh, I didn’t know you were coming home this weekend.” when she saw him at the dinner table. Sunghoon pretended to only be marginally hurt by this. 

In the last three months, he hasn’t so much as sent a text to his parents. 

Or to you. 

Ignoring texts from his mother is devastating. Between classes, he watches as, “Hi, sweetie, I love you 😍,” turns into, “Missing you, honey, know you must be busy but spare some time for your old mummy, no?” which turns into, “Getting really worried now, are you doing okay? Has something happened with YN? Talk to me, I love you, my baby boy!” 

Ignoring texts from you is easy because texts from you never come. 

Sitting at the end of his bed, Sunghoon rereads a text his mother sent a few minutes ago: Please talk to me, son. Really worried and YN isn’t answering calls either. What’s going on with you two?

When he leaves his room, he finds Jake lying on the couch, and with his keys in hand, Sunghoon says, “I’m going home.” 

And the drive is great! At least, he tells his mum it is. In truth, the drive home without you was nearly impossible. Your ever-expanding home time playlist buzzed through the speakers in his car, but without you there to screech along to the songs, it wasn’t the same. He felt your absence the most when he stopped to get petrol and you weren’t there behind him struggling to carry enough snacks to feed a small family without offering to pay. 

The look of worry on his mum’s face stirs a pit in his stomach. “Why are you so quiet these days? God, you look so tired,” she says, frowning. “Is it school? Or something with YN? It’s not like her not to text back.” Her brows crease as she whispers the word unless. She pulls him into a hug, her chin resting perfectly on his shoulder, and her comforting hand strokes the hair on the back of his head. “Breakups are never easy, honey. I’m so sorry, I know how much you love her.” 

Breakups are never easy. The sentence hangs heavy over his head. 

Whether she knows it or not, she’s handed him a get-out-of-jail-free card, the opportunity to set things straight, to end this mess once and for all. No further questions, and most importantly, no more lies. 

For the first time since he left your flat three months ago, Sunghoon lets himself cry. He’d imagined this moment countless times, his first cry since you ended things. In his mind, it was always intense. Today, as it happens, only a few salty tears leak from his eyes, spilling onto the cuff of his sleeve, darkening the blue cotton in tiny indigo splotches. 

“We didn’t break up,” he says in a small voice—for some reason. “I’m just having a hard time.” Neither statement is technically untrue, but the words taste rotten in his mouth.

The tightening grip of his mum’s arms around his body is what brings on the harsh, shoulder-racking sobs he’d been anticipating. For a while, they stand like this, Sunghoon weeping into his mum’s cardigan until she sends him upstairs to lie down, promising a cup of tea that never comes. 

His childhood bedroom is chilly, so he changes into clothes he left behind and climbs into bed, pulling his duvet up to his chin. He turns his head to look at the walls and the room around him, everything is exactly where he left it in the summer. It should be comforting, but it’s weird to be home without you. 

There are photos of you and him everywhere, growing up and around each other through different stages of life. The two of you together during the summer your family moved in next door, you wore glasses back then and were the first friend he’d made in his life. Sunbathing and sharing earphones at the beach, listening to music together on your iPod classic. Sunghoon in thick glasses with a stiff smile and your arm around him on the first day of high school. Wide grins at the start of this summer, the last time things were okay between you. 

Overwhelmed, he stares up at the ceiling, only realising he’s crying when a hot tear slips from his eyes to tickle his ear. Because Sunghoon likes to upset himself, he screws his eyes shut and thinks about the night before you stopped talking. 

Though he didn’t know it at the time, you’d left Yeonjun’s place to sit with him in a tiny restaurant on campus, the one you’d only visit to toast to each other’s heartbreaks. It had become a ritual — ever since your first year boyfriend dumped you after two weeks — to cry as much as you wanted and drink as much soju as your bodies could handle before stumbling back to your apartments. 

Having spent years suffering from an unrequited crush on his best friend, Sunghoon was always the one to comfort you. But that night was different; you were there to comfort him. It was easy enough to play the part of ‘boy whose crush likes someone else’ because he spent your entire friendship in that role. He’d had no problem accepting his fate, but his composure started to slip when you met Yeonjun. It was the first time you’d dated someone who Sunghoon had reason to be jealous of. In every way, Yeonjun was better than him—taller, funnier, hotter. Sunghoon knew he didn’t stand a chance. He took it personally, you liking Yeonjun instead of him, and let his jealousy consume him from the inside out. 

This jealousy led him to start telling you about Minjeong—lying to you about Minjeong, and his feelings for her. She was a girl from a college out of town that he saw on his Instagram Explore page. He followed her by accident, and by some stroke of luck, she followed back. Sunghoon didn’t really have feelings for her — he didn’t even know her — but she was a girl that you didn’t know, so you wouldn’t be able to meddle. 

It only took a few weeks for Sunghoon to become so upset about your relationship that he couldn’t hide his emotions anymore. So, in a fit of tears, he told you over the phone that things ended badly with Minjeong, and he was in urgent need of a soju ceremony. 

But the night was missing its usual comforts.

It was strange to be the one crying, to see you looking put together and ordering the food. To see you pouring the drinks and raising your glass to propose a toast to ‘Hoonie’s first heartbreak’. You were driving that night, so you only had a tiny sip of soju and let him drink as much as he needed, the way he always did for you, at the same table, in the same restaurant for years. 

Hours later, in your car, you entertained his drunken rambles, though he remembers how your lips were set into a frown that he wanted to kiss away while you gripped the steering wheel like you thought it would run from you. Sunghoon was more drunk than he’d been in a while, drunk enough to let you sling his arm over your shoulders and keep him upright until you reached his flat. 

The voices coming from Yeji’s room disrupt the memory. He’s thankful.

“Your brother’s going through something, so be nice to him this weekend.” His mother’s voice is her version of hushed—a loud whisper. 

Yeji’s response is harder to make out, but he doesn’t miss the way their mum says, “I mean it, missy.” 

A dramatic sigh rumbles through Yeji as she barges into his room without knocking. Sunghoon sits up, feeling an ache in his back and crossing his legs. 

“Mum told me to lay off you today, which is fine, but before I do, I need to tell you something.” 

Yeji pushes the door shut behind her, and the open window makes it slam, both of them flinching from the sudden noise. She pulls her hair out of a silk scrunchie and throws herself on the floor. A pang of irritation forms in his chest, knowing that he could immediately find the empty hanger in his wardrobe where the shirt she’s wearing used to live. 

“I hate you and your perfect golden boy image, Hoon. Would it kill you to fail a class for once? I don’t know how I’m supposed to carry on your legacy.” She’s looking up at him, her chin in her hands and irritation written in the crease between her thick brows. 

It’s impossible to know if it’s because of Yeji’s complete lack of boundaries or the fact that her ‘perfect, golden boy’ big brother is on track to fail three out of three classes and get cut from the hockey team, but Sunghoon immediately bursts into tears. 

“Oh, uh.. I’m sorry?” Yeji offers. “I was kidding if that helps.” 

“I’m alright, it’s okay.” The tears don’t stop stinging his eyes. “Why do you want me to change everything about myself?” 

With a frown, Yeji pours out her frustration and mild resentment. She doesn’t understand how Sunghoon effortlessly conquers every aspect of life while she struggles. Neither do their parents, who had been baffled by her plummeting grades since she moved to boarding school, especially when Sunghoon’s academic performance has only soared since he left for university. The weight of this perceived injustice pulls Sunghoon’s shoulders down with guilt as she talks about the expectations he has inadvertently set for her. 

“But other than that, I’m good.” She shrugs, sitting with her legs out, and leaning back on her palms. “How’s YN?” she asks. It’s clear from the brightness in her voice that she thinks she’s helping. 

Sunghoon cries again. 

Back on campus, he’s trying to scrape together what’s left of his academic career with the help of two of the smartest guys he knows, and their friend Jay. Though the word ‘friend’ feels a little strong at the moment given the way Jay’s goading him. 

Sunghoon rolls his eyes, sitting back in his seat. “There’s nothing you can do that I can’t,” he says, meaning every word. 

Jay scoffs, shrugging and raising his brow in a way that, over the years, Sunghoon knows to interpret as his ‘about to say something ridiculous’ look. “Pretty sure I could call YN right now, and she’d answer.” 

There’s a pit in Sunghoon’s stomach as Heeseung turns his head in the other direction like he’s been slapped, trembling with stifled laughter. At least Jake doesn’t hide his amusement, throwing his head back in a fit of giggles that draw nasty looks from the other students in the library. Sunghoon doesn’t waste his energy trying to argue because Jay’s right.

Now composed, Heeseung turns back to the table, flipping through some of Sunghoon’s course materials to find whatever his class was doing in class that week. The English Literature class he’s taking — The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway — is the same class he had to send a million emails over the summer to get enrolled in, but it’s the same one Heeseung aced two years ago. Lucky for him none of the boys seem to be in the mood to make fun of him for trying so hard to have a class in common with you, and then practically failing out of it before the term had started properly.

“This class is, like, beyond easy, dude.” Heeseung pauses to sniffle and twist the stud in his ear. “Everyone in my class aced it. How are you doing so badly already?” 

“I only took it because YN thought it’d be fun if we had a class together, but.. I kind of haven’t been going since we stopped talking.” Sunghoon shrugs, pretending to be unaffected. 

As if the mere mention of your name has some sort of summoning power, like saying Biggie Smalls in the mirror three times, you appear in his eye line, rounding the corner with a furious stride. Your demeanour crumbles when Jay waves at you, and you grin, waving back, but as soon as you look Sunghoon in the eye again, the rage comes back, and you smack a hand on the table when you reach it, leaning over to him. 

“Sunghoon, a word?” you ask.

He thinks you’re asking, but it’s hard to tell with the way you set your jaw afterwards, and the way the warmth of your signature vanilla scent hits him hard. Dazed, Sunghoon lifts a hand, pointing at himself. “Me?” 

“Does anyone else at the table answer to Sunghoon?” 

“Okay,” he says, somewhat pathetically, nudging Jay for laughing at him. 

As slowly as possible, Sunghoon pushes his chair from the table and stands up, following you to the corner of the references section where only anthropology students in scratchy thrift store knits, and Jay, come to check out encyclopaedias by volume. You look good, save for the rage written all over your face—which, honestly, Sunghoon thinks he likes.

Sunghoon isn’t sure what to expect, so he says, “Hey.” He’s being cautious, waiting a moment to gauge your reaction. “What’s gooooood?” His cheeks burn as soon as he closes his mouth around the vowel, but you laugh. You laugh, and it’s beautiful and happy, and you’re laughing because of him—or at him, but he’s glad either way. 

Annoyance quickly clears all traces of amusement on your face. “Were you ever going to tell me we’re spending next week at Mum and Dad’s?” you ask. 

Sunghoon gasps dramatically, clicking his fingers. “I knew there was something I’ve been meaning to do.” 

His attempt at lightening the mood falls flat, and you only nudge his shoulder gently, sighing. “Can you be serious? For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me?” You’re frowning, crossing your arms over your chest and looking at your feet. “It’s not fair, Sunghoon. For you to keep saying things—making plans involving me and then acting like I’m the bad guy when I turn you down.” 

“I don’t think you’re the bad guy at all,” Sunghoon admits. “If anyone is in the wrong, it’s me, I guess.”

You scoff, looking at him like you hate him. “You guess? Are you serious?” You look furious, but you sound hurt and Sunghoon hates it. Hates himself. “I can’t have this conversation with you right now. Tell mum I’m sick, and it’s contagious.” You roll your eyes and walk away, leaving Sunghoon alone with his thoughts and judgemental stares from students in crochet scarves so long they graze the floor. 

He sighs, slumping against the wall. How does he keep getting it wrong with you? 

Back at the table, Sunghoon manages to act like he’s not falling apart and makes some serious headway on his missing assignments with Heeseung’s help before they call it a day as the sun starts to set. 

When he gets home, he lies down on his bedroom floor, spending hours poring over the conversation you had. Over the minute changes in your facial expression, the tone of your voice, and the endless list of things he should have done, rather than watch you walk away. 

The moment feels familiar, both identical to and worlds apart from what happened after you left three months ago. When he managed to scrape the last shreds of his dignity from the kitchen table, he dragged his feet to his room and lay down like he is now, face to the rug. That day, he left his door open and lay so still that Jake thought he was dead. Sunghoon remembers wishing he had been. 

For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me? The words run on a loop in his mind, over and over, until he can’t remember the order of the sentence or where you put emphasis. They’re cutting all the same. 

Sunghoon sighs into the itchy fibres of his black rug before rolling onto his back. In the diminishing purple light of the setting sun. he looks at the walls of his room. At the Fleetwood Mac poster, he stole from Jay when they moved out of their first year dorm, that curls away from the wall towards the ceiling—a diagonal strip of shiny tape being the only indication of the otherwise invisible tear through the face of Stevie Nicks. 

He’s glad when his phone rings, cutting through the quiet, though the sight of your name and the anatomical heart emoji next to it only dampens his spirit. Reluctantly, Sunghoon answers the phone, holding it to his ear. 

“I just got off the phone with Dad..” You trail off. Tangible silence follows, so thick it weighs on his chest. “I’ll go home with you.” 

“You will?” 

“Yes. Goodbye.” 

Sunghoon reaches your flat at five in the evening. You don’t smile when you open the door for him, nor do you invite him in. Instead, you dump your bag at your feet and he cringes, looking from the floor to you. You’re aggressively beautiful and cosy-looking as you pull a jacket over the sweater you wore that night. Sunghoon’s heart aches in his chest and he wonders if you even realise. Suddenly, the memory of the last thing you said the morning after hits him like a truck: Then let’s not be friends at all. 

A familiar weight lands on his shoulder—your hand. Concern lines your eyes as you ask if he’s okay. 

With a lump in his throat, Sunghoon nods. 

In the discomfort of his car, the two of you sit in silence while he starts the drive home. 

“How’s Yeonjun,” he asks, eyes flicking towards you but regretting it immediately when he sees how you clench your jaw. 

“No,” you say simply, shaking your head. “You don’t get to ask me about him.” 

These are the only words you exchange until Sunghoon stops for petrol. He has enough fuel for the rest of the journey, but he feels like dying and thinks the fresh air might quell his thoughts of running his car off the road. Like always, the two of you get out and head into the kiosk, where he follows you wordlessly through the aisles, watching you debate on snack choices before settling on the same things you always get. Sunghoon pays for your snacks and you roll your eyes but don’t protest, mumbling thanks as you take them into your arms, leading the way back outside.

He knows he needs to tell you before you reach the house, but he’s not entirely sure how to say it—so he just does. “My, uh.. my parents think we’re dating.”

You stop so suddenly in front of him that he almost bumps into you. Stepping around you, Sunghoon keeps walking. 

Over the top of his car, he watches your face cycle through all five stages of grief until anger comes back around in the loop as you scoff. “Why do they think that?” Your face is devoid of expression now, the blankness over your features dragging a sharp chill over his spine. 

He stares blankly at you, processing. “Because I told them we’re dating,” he mumbles. 

“Why did you.. do that?” You tilt your head, eyes pressing shut in a long blink. “What are you even talking about? Why did you.. What?” 

A thin layer of sweat coats his palms despite the cold. Why did he do that? “We can stage a breakup during the trip or say we broke up right now,” Sunghoon offers. “Just one night, YN, please.” 

The wind whistles by, ruffling your hair and jacket that you hug tightly to your chest. Behind you, Sunghoon takes note of the group of girls standing by the pumps, all five of them jerking their heads abruptly when they notice him watching, suddenly finding interest in the scattered litter and flickering halogen bulbs in the steel canopy over their heads. 

You’re staring when he looks back at you, nostrils twitching with a sniffle before you sigh. “Or we could say that you’re a liar and end things there,” you say. “Or better yet, you go down there on your own and tell them the truth.”

Sunghoon’s gaze drops, his thoughts racing in his mind. He knows you’re right. At some point, his parents will have to find out, and it’d be better for them to find out now. Sunghoon sighs, nodding. “Alright,” he concedes. “I’ll take you back.”

An angry laugh comes out of you as you shake your head. “No need, I’ll walk.” 

The station you’re at is neatly nestled in the middle of nowhere, on a road so narrow he’s not even sure it has a pavement. You’re halfway through the three-hour drive, so there’s no telling how long the walk would be, never mind the fact that the sun is already setting and it’s deep enough into October for the wind to sting. 

“From here?” he asks, incredulous. 

“Yes, open the boot so I can get my bag.” 

Sunghoon can only bring himself to say your name, a desperate whisper. 

“Open the boot.”

He repeats your name as if it’ll make a difference, he’s pleading with you, begging—though he doesn’t know for what. 

You go to the back of his car where Sunghoon joins you, a pit in his stomach when you step away. With misty eyes, you look up at him and his heart breaks. “Please.”

Sunghoon knows you well enough to know that you’re not actually going to attempt the walk home but also knows that you won’t back down if he keeps challenging you. He nods, opening the boot for you and getting into the driver’s seat—your move. 

You stand there, unmoving, and long enough passes that he thinks you’ll actually leave. The boot closes softly and you join him in the passenger seat. You sigh, buckling your seatbelt. “Let’s just get this over with.” 

For the rest of the journey, you sit in silence as Sunghoon briefs you on the relationship, fighting a smile as he thinks about being your boyfriend—even if only for a night. You scoff when he ‘reminds’ you that you’ve been together for four months now and the only reason you haven’t been able to come home recently is that your schedules don’t match up very well anymore—which couldn’t be further from the truth as, before term started, you went out to celebrate the fact that your class schedules couldn’t be more suited for seeing each other. 

Finally, at Sunghoon’s childhood home, the two of you smile and laugh for his parents before going to bed. Your relationship has only made his mother more averse to the idea of you sharing a room under her roof than she had been when you were younger. He’s relieved about this, and in the solitude of his bedroom, he lies on the duvet of his twin bed, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about the last few hours. 

With his parents, you’d sat up in the living room watching TV. They sat on the couch together, his mum nestled in his dad’s side, while you two sat on the couch opposite, mirroring their position. If your complete stiffness was anything to go by, you were less than comfortable with his arm around you and Sunghoon felt terrible for begging you to go along with this. It was after midnight when you all went upstairs and you let him kiss your forehead before all but slamming the door to the guest room in his face. His heart twirled and his mum beamed at him before saying goodnight again. 

Now, at 3 a.m. he can’t sleep. Flinching at the knock on his door, he furrows his brows and goes to open it. It’s you. Standing there with your hair scraped away from your face in one of his t-shirts. Your eyes are red, brimmed with tears as you step into his room and sit on his bed. 

He closes the door softly, heart aching at the sight of you so upset, and when he sits next to you, his heart tears apart because you move over, putting a distance between you. It falls out of his chest onto the floor when he realises you’re not wearing your necklace. 

Sunghoon suspected you might have stopped wearing it, it only made sense that if you didn’t want him, you wouldn’t want the necklace he bought for you either, but at least earlier, your sweatshirt sat so high he couldn’t see if you had it on or not. 

It was a gift for your sixteenth birthday, after your first heartbreak. He was so upset and angry that you let some loser hurt you that way, upset and angry that someone could be loved by you and fuck it up. Sunghoon was inspired by Jay, who’d gotten a pretty necklace for his girlfriend, and talked about her cute reaction for weeks, how happy she was to have a piece of him with her all the time. It was a locket, with a picture of Jay in one side and a picture of her in the other so the pictures would kiss when she wore it. 

While at the jewellers with Jake, Sunghoon thought something like that might be a bit much for the two of you and eventually picked out an equally pretty piece with his first initial on it. He wrote a corny note to put in the box, something about how ‘boys come and go but Sunghoon is forever’ and gave it to you with trembling hands a few nights later—it was the first time he ever made you cry. Immediately, he thought he’d done something wrong and was ready to snatch the box and run back to the jewellers (even though he trashed the receipt). You hugged him and told him you loved him. Sunghoon’s been riding that high ever since. 

Until tonight at least. 

“Are you okay?” he whispers. 

“I’ll do it, Hoon.” Your eyes lift from the floor to meet his gaze. “For as long as you need me to, I’ll pretend.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, Sunghoon feels lighter, an unbearable weight slipping from his shoulders. You haven’t called him ‘Hoon’ in ages, and he can’t tell if you’ve said it out of vulnerability, or even noticed that you’ve said it at all, but it warms his heart nonetheless. However, he’s not fully at ease, still curious about your sudden change of heart and why you’re crying. 

“What happened?”

You pull him into a hug, and his eyes bulge out of his head. “It doesn’t matter,” you say, the words muffled by the skin at the base of his neck. 

For as long as he’s known you, you’ve smelled like vanilla, a sweet warmth that grounds him. Yet it’s only after these months apart that he’s able to put a name to the sensation: home. The realisation of how much he’s missed this feeling, missed you, floods him with a rush of emotion so overwhelming he can’t find the words to press the issue. A moment passes before he remembers to hug you back, his arms finally wrapping around you, pulling you close, and you sink into his hold. Months ago, he would have kissed the top of your head and mumbled reassurance into your hair, but tonight, Sunghoon settles for stroking the back of your head and hopes it’s enough. 

“You can talk to me, you know? You can always talk to me.”

A heavy silence follows, sharp as a dagger—scraping his skin, making the hair on the back of his neck stand on edge and lodging itself between his shoulder blades. Sunghoon’s breath hitches in his throat when you cling onto him even tighter, shifting so close you’ve had to settle in his lap. His heart races in his chest, pounding a rhythm so loud it fills the room. 

Finally, you speak, assuring him that you know and that you’re okay. At this, Sunghoon holds you as tight as he can, and neither of you speaks for the rest of the night. You fall asleep like this, in his arms, so deeply that you don’t even stir when he lies down. 

Rubbing your back, he watches the clock on his nightstand, the piercing green LED digits cycling through two whole hours right before his stinging eyes until you wake up. Sunghoon presses his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep when you kiss his cheek and leave his room. 

For the entire morning, you stay in your room, and although Sunghoon is concerned, he decides not to bother you. In the afternoon, he sits at the dining table with his mum, listening as she talks about work. When she asks him, he gets up to make a cup of tea for her. It’s at that moment when you finally come downstairs, looking so effortlessly pretty. Your hair is still damp from the shower, and you’re bundled up in one of his old sweatshirts. There’s a bright grin on your face that leaves his heart thudding. 

“Baby!” you squeal when you see him, charging towards him and wrapping your arms around him from behind. “Good morning.” Your words are muffled against the back of his t-shirt, and the four-letter word, and the sugar coating it, make his cheeks burn. 

“It’s great to see you too, YN,” his mum says with a smile. “My night was amazing; I slept very well and had no dreams.” 

You let go of Sunghoon and walk over to the table, kissing his mum on the cheek and wishing her a good morning as well. “Sorry, mum, how are you?” 

His mother doesn’t seem to have the heart to correct you either, allowing your 3 p.m. ‘good morning’ to go unnoticed. 

Sunghoon carefully fills both mugs to the brim and, with extra caution, carries them to the table. He places a steaming cup of peppermint tea in front of his mum and a milky coffee in front of you. A warm smile spreads across your face as you mouth a ‘thank you’, and his knees turn to jelly. 

The next day, after eating an early dinner with his parents at the table, the four of you go out on a walk along the bike path you used to take for school. His parents have gone ahead, not intentionally, but because Sunghoon can’t stop you from dragging your feet. 

As with most things in the town where you grew up, nothing about the trail has changed. The leaves are yellowing in standard form for the season, and crunching under his feet with each step he takes. The only foreign experience is the silence that you’re determined to uphold. Everything Sunghoon says to you is met with either a hum, a nod, or no acknowledgement at all. At this point, he feels like he could drop dead at your side and the most you’d do is step over his body like a fallen branch. 

After letting you go ahead, the weathered slats of the wooden footbridge sag in the middle under his tread. It’s been like this for as long as he can remember and he wonders how nothing has been done about it. The stream rushes under it, loud and unruly, the smell of wet grass both comforting and suffocating as you look over the railing. It’s like something from a postcard, the low-hanging branches sweeping back and forth under the breeze, the grass lush and green around the path, murky water thrashing against the mud and rocks underneath with you in the middle of the frame, peering over the edge.

You keep walking when Sunghoon approaches, leaving him alone on the creaky bridge with nothing but the ache in his chest. He looks up, staring at the grey clouds in the sky through the gaps in the leaves, and sighs. 

Eventually, he catches up with you, grabbing your hand and locking his fingers with yours when his parents slow down. You stiffen, looking up at him with cut eyes and a creased brow. “What are you doing?”

Sunghoon matches your clipped tone. “Holding my girlfriend’s hand.” 

“No one’s looking, boyfriend.”

“You think my parents aren’t going to wonder why we’re lagging behind?” 

A scoff—your fingers remain defiantly stiff. “Do you think your parents are going to care whether or not we’re holding hands?” 

“My mum might after the show you put on yesterday afternoon, baby.” Bitterness covers the word like a blanket, a stark departure from how you said it. 

A long sigh rumbles its way out of you before you fix your lips into a strained grin. “Sorry, sweetheart, this is my first time pretending to be in love.” 

As your words hang in the air, Sunghoon’s emotions brew like a storm within him. Frustration gnaws at his patience. All hopes for a smooth week are dashed, though determination simmers in his chest with a strong resolve to make this work, to fix your relationship. It doesn’t stop the sharp pang of hurt piercing his stomach—he knows you don’t feel the same way, he knows you’re faking, but the word ‘pretending’ hits him like a truck anyway. 

“We held hands all the time when we were friends,” he points out.

Your smile drops immediately, hurt flashing behind your eyes. “Yeah, and now we’re not.” 

If there was a competition for who could hurt Sunghoon’s feelings the most, you’d be a shoo-in for first place. With distinction. 

“Exactly!” he says, feeling the sting of his own words. “Because now we’re dating.”

At the sight of his mum turning around, you switch up in an instant. Lock your fingers with his, wrapping an arm around his bicep, leaning into him, giggling. It’s forced but his parents are far enough away that all that matters is the curve of your lips.

“You two okay back there?” she asks. 

“Perfect! I feel like a kid again!” you call back, beaming up at Sunghoon in a way that makes his stomach flutter even though it doesn’t meet your eyes. 

The two of you don’t talk at all when you get home, with you hugging his parents goodnight and running up the stairs. 

“She’s not feeling too well,” he explains, nodding when his dad tells him to make you some tea. 

His parents spend the whole day at work, and you spend the whole day following him around like a shadow until the evening when they return. He doesn’t pretend not to like it.

Sunghoon helps you make dinner, turning leftover rice into fried rice with the help of some eggs and vegetables. It’s nice moving around the kitchen with you, watching you scramble eggs in his t-shirt and bump his hip with a playful frown when he eats some of the peppers you’re chopping. 

His parents watch from the table, cooing over the two of you and he does his best to fight the blush forming on his cheeks and neck. Embarrassed, he hugs you from behind, hiding his face in your neck—the scent of your coconut conditioner mixing with your vanilla perfume doesn’t do anything to stop the flush. 

Over a bottle of wine, the four of you eat together at the table, swapping stories about your days. Sunghoon tries to hide his surprise as you lie about the time you spent at the play park by your primary school, competing for height on the swings and spinning on the roundabout until you couldn’t stand up. You grin at him, and it meets your eyes as you hold his hand under the table, and kiss his cheek.

After eating, his parents head upstairs, leaving to clean up together. You hum a song he’s never heard as you load the dishwasher, carefully placing the plates and cutlery in the rack, shaking your head when he hands you the glasses you’d used. 

“Leave ours,” you say. “If you want.” 

Sunghoon nods, putting them back on the table, where you sit in the seat across from the one he was sitting in. He sits too, staying quiet rather than saying the wrong thing. You don’t speak either. It’s reminiscent of the past—the hours you’d spend in the same room, only speaking to share a funny post you’d come across or to ask if you were hungry. 

His eyes track your movements—reaching for the half-empty bottle on the table to pour yourself another glass, filling it to the brim. Before putting it down, you offer him some, filling his glass too when he nods. The three glasses of wine he’s already had must be the reason he wants to reach across the table and hold your hand, run his thumb over the soft skin on the back of it. 

Sunghoon doesn’t know why you’ve been so nice to him all day or why it makes his chest hurt. 

“You know you don’t have to be nice to me when we’re alone, right?” The words come out before he can stop them.

Over the top of your glass, your brows knit together. A sound of confusion, a low hum, comes from your throat as you try to finish your sip. “What?” you ask finally. 

“I only asked you to do this because of my parents, you know? You don’t have to sit or talk with me when they’re not around.” 

Sunghoon’s known you long enough to recognise the look that flashes across your face. The way your eyes narrow and your brows tug together, the little pout that sets on your lips before you speak; you’re hurt.

“Why can’t I just be nice to you because it’s the right thing to do?” 

Because it hurts, is what he wants to say. He wants to cry, to beg you to forget everything he said that day. “Because I don’t want to make you any more uncomfortable than I already have.” Is what he settles for. 

Your face softens. “I don’t feel uncomfortable around you, Hoon. We were best friends for ages, I don’t think you could ever make me uncomfortable.” You pause to take a gulp of wine. “Why can’t I just want to be nice to you?” 

Sunghoon has to chew on his cheek to distract himself from how much your word choice stings. The implications of were and all of your past tense. “I’m sorry,” he says. 

“What for?” 

“Everything.” 

There’s a sadness in the way you run your fingers on the base of your glass. The way you chew on your lip, how your hair falls when you tilt your head and how it moves when you shake it. “It’s not your fault,” you say. “I don’t know anyone who would choose to have unrequited feelings for their best friend.” 

Wow, he thinks. You’re on a roll. Sunghoon wonders if you’re meticulously choosing your phrasing to upset him. Wonders why you feel the need to remind him that his feelings aren’t reciprocated as if he didn’t live through and spend hours reliving the day he confessed. 

“But I didn’t have to tell you about it. It was unfair of me to spring that on you when I knew about Yeonjun.” 

“Did you.. did you think I was going to leave him for you?” 

“Maybe?” Sunghoon chews on his lip—he has no idea what he thought would happen. “I think I thought I loved you enough for both of us, that you might play the part for fun or out of curiosity, and.. I don’t know, just learn to love me.”

“Hoon,” you whisper, frowning. “How could you even think about settling for something like that?” 

Sunghoon shrugs. “It’s not settling if it’s you.” 

Silence takes a seat at the table after he speaks, interrupted only by the ticking clock on the wall—a glittery mess of scrapbooking paper and washi tape layered over each other that Yeji had decorated at summer camp years ago. You’re picking at your fingernails, letting flecks of black polish fall to the table, stark against the varnished oak. 

“I know it’s not my place to ask,” Sunghoon starts after a while, hesitant and only continuing when you nod. “But what did Yeonjun say when you told him? About.. everything?” 

You take a long sip from your glass and sit quietly for so long that he thinks you’re not going to answer him—he doesn’t blame you. 

“I didn’t.” 

He waits for you to elaborate. You don’t. 

Sunghoon nods slowly, deciding not to ask any follow-up questions. Instead, he takes another drink, scrunching his nose at the bitter taste. “He didn’t ask why we stopped hanging out?” he blurts out.

“I told him we fell out but I didn’t say why.” You shrug, but your posture is stiff. 

“Where did you tell him you were going to be this week?” He knows it’s not his business at all, that he’s pushing your boundaries, but he can’t help his curiosity.

“Nowhere.” 

“You told him you were staying on campus?” 

“I didn’t tell him anything.” Your gaze shifts, avoiding his as you toy with the stem of your glass. You drum your nails against it, letting the dull clink ring out. 

“So you just left?” 

“Does it make a difference to you?” 

Sunghoon nods.

For a while, you tug at the drawstrings on your hoodie, pursing your lips to the side, considering this. “Yeonjun and I aren’t together anymore.” Your admission is so shocking that Sunghoon’s jaw drops. He tries to cover his surprise by coughing, his tongue sticking out like a small child. “I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want you to think it was because of you.” 

Sunghoon’s thoughts move at lightspeed, too fast for him to catch onto any of them and process this information. His emotions compete with each other—disbelief, guilt, and a painful glimmer of hope he hadn’t dared to acknowledge until now all at the forefront. 

“Was it?” he asks. “Because of me?” 

You scoff—an incredulous sound that doesn’t match the sad look on your face. “I don’t know, Sunghoon. Do you think my boyfriend used me to make his ex jealous because of you?”

He’s not sure what he expected you to say, but this is.. Complete disbelief eclipses him as his heart sinks in his chest, shock, and guilt bubbling in his stomach. 

“I’m sorry,” he says after too long. “That I wasn’t there. That I haven’t been there.” 

“You didn’t know,” you say, gaze softening as you look up at him. 

“But I made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about it.” 

You shake your head. “I made me feel like I couldn’t talk to you about it. All you did was change the friendship, I’m the one who ended it.”

“I still should’ve been there.” 

“You’re here now, right?” 

Sunghoon nods, earnestly. “Always.” 

Only one thing comes to mind when you repeat the word ‘always’ before taking a sip from your glass, downing its contents. Sunghoon gets up and crosses the room with wobbly steps to open the fridge, where he pulls out as many bottles of soju as he can hold in his hands and puts them down on the table. He goes back to collect some glasses from the cabinet, puts some of the leftover fried rice from dinner into the microwave, and brings it all over when it’s done, with bowls and utensils. You watch him with a fond smile as he opens a bottle and he hopes you think the flush on his cheeks is from all the drinking you’ve been doing. 

“Is it bad that I’ve missed doing this?” You’re grinning now.

Sunghoon shakes his head, raising his glass. “To YN’s fifteenth heartbreak.” 

You grin, clinking the rim of your glass against his. “To YN’s fifteenth heartbreak,” you repeat. 

Both of you down the glasses, and Sunghoon refills them, pouring the soju with an oddly steady hand. As you eat spoonfuls of rice and sip your drinks, silence settles over the room. The soft glow of the kitchen lights forms a warm ambience, a cosy familiarity that brings up simple memories—doing homework together at the table while gossiping about your classmates, the first New Year after you were both eighteen and had your first drink with his parents. 

For at least an hour, the only sounds are the occasional clinks of forks against bowls, glasses hitting the table, the faint hum of the refrigerator and the steady tick of Yeji’s clock. Sunghoon’s eyes meet yours, and he can’t help but notice the slight change in your expression when they do. 

You clear your throat, running a hand through your hair. “This is my sixteenth, actually.” 

“What?” 

You take a small sip of soju, staring down at the table. “My fifteenth heartbreak was losing you. Yeonjun is my sixteenth.”

In the two days since your soju ceremony, Sunghoon finds himself sinking into the role of your boyfriend like a hot bath. But there’s no use pretending it doesn’t hurt. Pretending it doesn’t hurt when you kiss his cheek before bed, or when you reach out to push the hair out of his face or snuggle into his side on the couch; because it does hurt—a lot. It hurts to think that in three days when you put your bags in the boot of his car, you’ll sit in silence all the way home. When he drops you off at your flat, you’ll close the door in his face and stop talking to him again. These realisations are harder to confront when he’s alone in his room, like now. 

About an hour ago, you asked if you could borrow his car, saying there was something you needed to do on your own. It seemed important, so he handed over his keys with no question. Sighing, Sunghoon gets up from his bed and heads to the shower, where he jerks off to clear his mind. On his way back to his room, he notices the light leaking from the open kitchen door that illuminates the landing. 

He hears the lock on the front door clicking, and stands at the top of the stairs, dripping water onto the carpet while listening attentively. His ears perk up when he hears a gasp—his mother. 

“What’s this for?” she asks. 

“I just..” You trail off. “I know it’s not much, but I wanted to thank you both for always looking after me.” You pause, and Sunghoon holds his breath, waiting. Your voice trembles as you continue. “It’s been hard since my parents went back home, and I guess it was still hard when they were here, but you both supported me. I don’t think I could’ve managed without you guys. I want to make you guys proud, you know? And I’m trying, really, so this is me saying thank you. I’m sorry it took me so long.” 

He grips the railing by the landing, digging his nails into the wood until they start hurting—an ache in his fingertips that makes him wince. 

An odd feeling settles in his stomach, a bittersweetness tinged in his fondness for you, and the gentle shock of realising how much his parents have done for you. Growing up, you became an honorary member of Sunghoon’s family. His parents showered you with gifts during holidays and birthdays, which you often celebrated with them rather than your own family. 

The memory of your parents’ sudden decision to move across the country still lingers, and Sunghoon vividly recalls the tearful conversation he overheard at the top of the stairs. Your parents understood the enormity of their request but had earnestly asked if Sunghoon’s parents could continue looking after you. 

His chest tightens when you start crying. 

“You don’t have to thank us for anything, sweetie. Just you being here and taking care of our boy is more than enough thanks. You never forget our birthdays, and you always come and visit when you can. You’re doing a great job, and you should give yourself some credit,” his dad says, a little choked up. “We’ve always been proud of you.” 

Sunghoon’s eyes sting with tears and his skin gets dry in the spots where the water from the shower is evaporating. He presses his fingers to his closed eyes, forcing a few tears to fall and walks the rest of the way to his room with his eyes shut. He can’t hear anything through his closed bedroom door, which he decides is a good thing as he coats himself in moisturiser and swipes deodorant under his arms with intention to spend the whole night alone. Once he’s dressed, he gets into bed and pretends not to be bothered by the way his wet hair dampens his pillow. Under the duvet, he tosses and turns before sighing and heading to Yeji’s room.

In her absence, the room’s subtle transformation is stark. The sage green-painted walls, once a backdrop to the A3 faces of Wave to Earth and Beabadoobee, now bear the faint imprints of those missing posters. Tiny, shadowy rectangles are the only remnants of the 6x4-sized pictures of her and her friends, of her and Sunghoon, that she took away with her to school.

Her hairdryer is still on her desk where she’d left it for him to use and he sits in her stiff wooden chair, plugging it in. The airflow starts immediately, hot and loud, humming throughout the space as he runs his fingers through his wet hair, feeling cosy under the heat. His shampoo is fresh and soapy scented under his nose, and his reflection watches him in Yeji’s mirror, eyes red and concerned while his hair blows around his head. Sunghoon closes his eyes and finishes his hair, sighing as he lets his worries slip under the whir of the fan. 

Finished, he shuts off the dryer and opens his eyes, flinching at your reflection in the doorway behind him with a soft smile on your face. “Mum and Dad are going to open a bottle of wine if you want to join,” you say, meeting his eyes in the mirror. 

Sunghoon can’t find it in himself to speak, only nodding in response. You smile wider but don’t move. He unplugs the hairdryer and leaves it on the desk where he found it before crossing the room. Without giving himself a chance to think about it, he pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head, smiling into your hair when you wrap your arms around his waist, holding him closer. 

You’re sitting on the edge of the bathtub, mumbling sleepily that you’re never going to drink again, and Sunghoon leans over the sink brushing his teeth, he’s glad you have the decency to cover your mouth as you speak. 

“Brush your teeth and go back to sleep then,” he mumbles around his toothbrush. 

You don’t respond. 

Sunghoon sighs through his nose, spitting foamy toothpaste into the sink, leaving bubbly, blue splatters on the porcelain. “And quit staring at me, I can feel your beady little eyes on the back of my neck and it’s freaking me out.” 

“But you’re so pretty,” you coo. 

There’s a flutter in his stomach and he rinses off the sink and his mouth, buying himself some time. With a hand on the Listerine, he lifts his gaze to meet yours in the mirror and stops short. You’re still staring at him, features soft and glowing under the afternoon light. You look like an angel; a gentle smile spreading over your lips, and a sleepy glint sparkling in your eyes, wide and gorgeous as you watch him. Sunghoon gulps, mumbling his thanks and looking back at himself. He hopes you can’t see the flush on his cheeks. 

“Go back to sleep,” he says. 

“Will you come and lie down with me if I do?” Your voice is a sleepy drawl, coming out in a slow, high-pitched slur, and your eyes are closing on themselves. 

Lying down doesn’t sound like a terrible idea, especially not if it’s with you, so he nods. “If you brush your teeth, then yeah, baby, I’ll lie down with you.” 

You chuckle softly at Sunghoon’s agreement, the sound carrying a mix of exhaustion and genuine amusement, showing no repulsion to him calling you the B-word. He didn’t mean to, it’s been a confusing few days. You nod, saluting to him and getting up to join him by the sink, using your hip to bump him out of the way, but he feels like he’s glued to the spot. 

“Move, baby,” you mumble sleepily, reaching for your toothbrush. “We can cuddle in my bed,” you suggest, to which Sunghoon only nods, taking your words as a cue to unstick his feet from the floor and go to your room, playing the word ‘baby’ on a loop in his head. 

He stands in the doorway staring at your bed, the duvet is all crumpled in the middle, and the pillows are in an L shape at the top corner. He sighs, he can’t go on like this, can’t stand around hoping even a tiny part of you called him ‘baby’ and it meant something for you as it did for him. It’s not fair for him to project his feelings on you like this, but he can’t help it. You’re already pretending for his parents, so would it be so bad to pretend for his sake as well? Even if only until the day after tomorrow when you leave? 

The sound of the bathroom door shutting behind you snaps him out of his thoughts, your bright smile making his heart race when you tug him by the sleeve to your bed where the mattress dips underneath you as you curl into his form, resting your head on his chest and falling asleep. You’ve shared the bed before, countless times, but he knows you’ve only asked him because you’re tired. Because your brain is foggy with drowsiness that clouds your judgement, not because you want him there, not because you miss him when he’s two doors down the hall, tossing and turning at night thinking about you. He wonders absently if you can feel his aching heart beating through his chest, a painful, yet all too familiar rhythm that pulls his own eyes shut, plunging him into a deep sleep too.

It’s dark in the room when he wakes up, the sun already down behind the curtains and the soft yellow of the bedside lamp casting a glow around the space. You’re staring up at him, smiling and you don’t look away when he catches you. “What is it?” he asks, voice thick with sleep. 

“Nothing,” you mumble. “I just missed you.” Sunghoon has no time to respond or even register what you said before you clear your throat, speaking again.  “Come on, dad’s cooking tonight, he’ll need help.” 

Helping Sunghoon’s dad with dinner always looks an awful lot like Sunghoon eating snacks on the kitchen counter and staring at you as you help his dad cook. Tonight is no exception, he’s sitting on the island, and his snack of choice is a family pack of Chilli Heatwave Doritos his mum bought for Yeji. He’ll have to remember to replace them before leaving seeing as he’s reaching the halfway point. 

You go back and forth with his dad about measurements, with you rummaging through the drawers for measuring cups while his dad says it’s best to trust your gut. Reluctantly, you nod, chewing the inside of your cheek as you watch him eyeball the seasoning. 

The gas stove turns the kitchen into an oven, and you complain about it while opening a window, pulling your hoodie over your head and leaving it in Sunghoon’s lap. Time stops when you grin at him, the light from the stove hood illuminating the necklace you’re wearing, his initial resting on your chest and glowing under the light. He chokes around a crisp when he sees it, catching your attention with his coughing. 

“You’ll spoil your dinner, snacking like that, baby,” you scold, using a hand to push his knee. “We’re almost done, I swear.” 

All he can do is nod, cheeks burning as he folds the crisp packet over before putting it back in the bread bin where he found it. 

“Wow,” his dad says, resting his hands on his hips and shaking his head in amusement. “Being in love looks good on him, he’d never have listened if I said that.” 

It’s already your last day when Sunghoon picks up Yeji from school. She grumbles for the entire half-hour drive and all the way to the front door about why the two of you couldn’t have started the trip today instead of ending it, but all of her irritation dissolves when she sees you in the hallway, leaving the front door wide open to fling her arms around you. You and Yeji exchange compliments for a while — You look so pretty. No, you look so pretty. I love your hair. I love your hair. — as Sunghoon locks the door and watches with a smile.

“God.” Yeji sighs, holding you by the waist and craning her neck up to look at you, as you push some of her hair from her face, pinning back her wispy bangs with the palm of your hand. Yeji giggles. “I’m so happy you two are together, even though I have no idea what a girl like you sees in my loser brother.” 

Sunghoon rolls his eyes, leaning back against the wall. Despite his mild irritation at Yeji’s words, he finds the sight of you with her so adorable his stomach flutters. Over the top of Yeji’s head, you look at him with a fond smile. “He’s not so bad.” 

It doesn’t sound like a compliment, but Sunghoon takes it to heart. 

Like always, Yeji manages to capture your undivided attention and the two of you giggle and whisper with each other all afternoon while Sunghoon watches, too enamoured by the sight to care about being left out. An hour or so passes like this, until his parents get home from work, excited to see Yeji after a few weeks, and you leave her side, coming to cuddle with Sunghoon instead. 

It’s nice being home with everyone, laughing and sharing a meal before his family walks the two of you to his car with at least a month’s worth of cooked food for you to share at university. Yeji makes you pinky promise that she can visit you and waves with a pout on her face until the car is out of view.

Contrary to what he’d been expecting, the drive back is nice. Your playlist is on, and you’re telling him about all the new songs you added, catching him up on things with Chaewon and Yunjin, and all the things you got up to in the time you spent apart. You tell him about a new café that opened up near your place and how you’ll have to go together when he has the time, and Sunghoon bites his tongue before telling you that he always has time for you. The first half of the trip goes on like this but you start dozing off around the halfway mark, your sentences becoming few and far between, eventually turning into half-mumbled thoughts that end prematurely. 

You’re still asleep when he reaches your flat, head propped up against the window with your soft lips parted, looking too pretty and cosy to wake up. Instead, he drives in circles around your block, deciding to wait for you to wake up on your own. It only takes a half-hour but you blink your eyes open, stretching your neck before looking around and out the car window, recognising the street. You don’t say anything, only smiling when you look at him, a small curve of your lips that makes his heart race.

He gets out of the car with you, opening the boot to get your bag before pulling you into his chest for a hug, liking the way your arms settle around his waist. “Thank you,” he mumbles into your hair. 

Sunghoon doesn’t follow you when you take your bag from him, only watching from the back of his car. You don’t notice until you reach the main door, looking over your shoulder and frowning at him. “Aren’t you going to walk me up?” 

The two of you walk in silence up four flights of stairs as the lift in your building is out of order. Your bag feels much heavier in his hand now than it did outside. At your door, he watches you dig around for your keys, sighing with relief when you find them. 

“Do you want to come in?” you ask from your open doorway.

“I—uh—I have training in the morning and I’m already pretty tired, so..” He trails off.

Unfazed, you nod. “Right, of course. I had fun this week.” 

“Yeah, me too.” 

You smile at him, sweet and sincere. “Text me when you get home, yeah?” 

Sunghoon nods, saying goodbye. Out of habit, he doesn’t leave your doorstep until he hears the lock click shut, and walks back to his car with his head down. 

True to his word, he sends you a text to let you know he got back to his place safely and you read it immediately but don’t reply. It’s empty in the apartment, Jake is out with his football team and the space is larger than usual in his absence. Far too tired to even consider going out and joining him, Sunghoon goes through his night routine, putting his phone on the charger and stepping into the shower where he spends entirely too long wishing he could live in this week forever as he scrubs his body. With brushed teeth and damp hair, he goes back into his room where his phone lights up with a notification; a text, from you.

YN🫀: i’m glad you got home okay, i just got into bed :) i don’t want to make you uncomfortable or overstep or anything and you can say no (obviously).. i’ve been missing you so much and didn’t know how to reach out or if you wanted me to but i had soooo much fun this week and spending time with you again made me happy, so i’d like it if we could keep hanging out, like before yk? ik it’s a long shot ahahaha but just say you’ll think about it? 

hoonie: You’re not overstepping at all, I’ve missed you too, so bad. I had soooo much fun this week as well and I’d like it a lot if we kept hanging out, thank you for agreeing and coming along 😚 If you’re free after Lit tmrw you could come over? Or we could go out and do something, whatever you prefer

hoonie: I missed you so much.. 

hoonie: 🤍

The texts greet you as the first rays of Monday morning light filter into your room, instantly lifting your mood. Your bright smile doesn’t escape Chaewon’s notice as you find her in the kitchen, bathed in the soft light seeping through the sheer curtains. The kettle is boiling with a loud rumble that fills the whole room and leaves her yelling as she speaks to you. 

“Good trip?” she asks, coming over and hugging you. “Never leave me for that long again,” she mumbles into your shirt. 

“It was a week, Wonie,” you say, rolling your eyes even though you missed her too. 

She leans away, looking at you with knitted brows. “It was nine days.” 

“The longest of my life.” 

Chaewon pulls air through her teeth, tilting her head and releasing you. “That bad, huh?” she asks, walking back to her seat at your tiny square table and shooting you a look that tells you to join her. 

During your trip, you gave her nightly updates over text, so you know she knows how much you enjoyed yourself, but you elaborate anyway, sitting across from her. 

“No, not at all,” you say, shaking your head and trying to fight a smile. “I had fun.” As soon as the words leave your mouth, you have to bite your bottom lip to stop the grin curving them; it doesn’t work. 

Chaewon raises a suggestive brow, crossing her arms over her chest. “How much fun?” 

“You’re disgusting.” 

“I didn’t even say anything!” she defends, holding her hands up. “I made an implication. It was only a matter of time, you two have that whole.. lifelong best friends to lifelong lovers thing going on, and it’s hot.” 

“Shut up.” 

“You’re telling me, you spent nine days playing lovers with Sunghoon and you still don’t want him? You’re a lost cause, people would kill for that chance,” she says, tilting her head. “I think I would kill for that chance.” 

“Don’t touch him.”

“Oh?” 

“Jesus, Chaewon, it’s not like that. Hoon’s too sensitive for your roster.” 

“I never said it was like anything, you’re the one who’s dangling me over the ledge for saying I want to fuck your hot best friend.” 

“Sunghoon isn’t hot; he’s..” You find yourself at a loss for words, unsure how to continue your lie. Of course, Sunghoon is hot, you’ve known since you were seventeen and spent the summer at your grandparents’ house, only to come back to find your previously scrawny best friend having ditched his LEGOs for dumbbells. You sigh. “Just leave him alone.”

Chaewon grins, eyes sparkling as she leaves the table. “Okay,” she says in a singsong voice, leaving you and the irritation in your stomach alone in the kitchen.

You sigh, pressing your eyes shut and trying to will away your discomfort. It’s not like Chaewon would actually try anything with Sunghoon. Right? Even if she did, it wouldn’t bother you, nor would it be any of your business. They’re grownups and reserve the right to explore their options. Still, there’s a nagging feeling you can’t shake, an uninvited guest in the back of your mind. 

When you check your phone, you realise you have half an hour before you need to head to campus, so you leave to get ready and text Sunghoon back on the way to your room.

you: sounds good, see u later 🤍

After showering, you stand in front of your wardrobe, towel hanging from your body as you pick an outfit. For some reason, you feel under pressure, picking a pair of jeans that do the most for your ass and a low-cut top that Sunghoon once — drunkenly — said he loved on you.

You have the residual sting of mouthwash on your tongue, and one foot out the door when your phone vibrates in your hand. 

hoonie: Do you want to head to class together? 

you: sure! i’m omw out, where should i get you? 

hoonie: .. I’m outside your building :D 

Breathing a laugh through your nose, you don’t fight the giddy smile on your face as you make your way downstairs to meet Sunghoon. Through the glass in the main door, he’s standing at the edge of the pavement and kicking a stone between his feet. The top of his puffer jacket covers the bottom half of his face, and the draught nips your skin when the door opens. Two girls you vaguely recognise stumble in with smudged makeup and heels in their hands, smiling at you while holding the door to let you out.

“Hey!” you call out, jogging over to him. 

Sunghoon turns around, his head poking out of his jacket to grin at you, holding a travel cup and an abundance of tinfoil in your direction. 

“I wasn’t sure if you’d have eaten anything yet, you don’t normally in the morning,” he says, a sheepish smile spreading over his lips when you take it. “Matcha. Ham and cheese toastie.” 

“Did you make these?” you ask, inspecting the familiar cup and appreciating the warmth it provides. 

He hums, nodding his head.

You ignore the heat spreading over your cheeks and thank him with a hug, grinning when he offers to hold your drink while you eat on the walk. The toastie is still hot, the cheese coming close to burning your tongue as you chew, but you appreciate it wholeheartedly, humming contently with each bite. When you’re done, you shove the foil into your pocket, taking your drink from him and smiling around the sweet taste of a matcha latte as he tells you about his schedule for the day. 

“I’m meeting with Coach after class to talk about my grades, but I’m all yours after that.” 

“Talk about your grades? What’s wrong with your grades?” 

Sunghoon groans, head falling back and highlighting the bump of his Adam’s apple. “My grades are.. I failed my coursework this month, so I have resubmissions during finals, and I think he’ll bench me if I fail again.” 

He sounds like he’s being serious, and if the look on his face is anything to go by, he is. The news creases your brows because for as long as you remember, Sunghoon’s grades were your parents’ favourite point of comparison.

“Really?” you ask. He nods. “What’s up? Is something the matter?” 

A humourless laugh slips out of him before he pulls air through his teeth. “Yeah, my best friend didn’t talk to me for three months.” 

“Oh..” Guilt stirs your stomach as you look up at him. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not blaming you, it’s not like I was trying to talk and you ignored me.” He nudges your arm with his elbow, giving you a warm smile. “But if you feel as guilty about it as you look, you can tutor me for Lit.” 

“Deal.” 

Sunghoon grins, wrapping his arm over your shoulders and holding you close; the action itself isn’t unusual, but the increased heart rate it brings about is. “You’re too good to me,” he says, holding onto you for the rest of the walk to class.

At his request, you sit with Sunghoon in the back row, watching as the lecture hall gradually fills up in front of you. He seems well-prepared, with his laptop and a small notepad and pen neatly arranged on the desk in front of him.

Throughout the class, your eyes inadvertently track his every move. He diligently types up colour-coded notes, occasionally pausing to write things in his notepad before continuing to type or stopping entirely to listen. There’s something melodic about his actions and the way his fingers run over the keyboard. 

During a five-minute break, you glance at his screen. What you find is more than just lecture content; it’s a document adorned with Sunghoon’s own musings about Hemingway’s style and carefully analysed quotations that go beyond the class discussion.

“How are your notes so good?” 

“I picked up the book over the summer when you mentioned it,” Sunghoon replies with a shrug, a shy smile playing on his lips as he leans back in his seat. “I liked it.” 

A slow nod is your response, though your thoughts swirl like autumn leaves in a breeze. The last time Sunghoon read for leisure, you were in primary school, buddy reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid. But this—this is different. You can’t help but stare at him, awestruck as you take him in. His eyes are wide, shining amber in the sunlight as he pushes some of his hair from his face, frowning when it falls back where it was. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” he mumbles. 

Sunghoon takes a new line in his document and points at the screen where you watch the cursor move through the words he’s typing: I would’ve read and annotated the Bible if you wanted me to..

There’s no time to digest what he wrote or the funny feeling in your chest as you reread it before he deletes the whole sentence, pressing his lips together and looking out the window. Speechless, you stare at his side profile, willing your heart rate to slip back to normal. Steep-sloping nose, plump lips flattened into a line, two points of the triangular mole constellation on his face. Analysis worsens your condition, breath hitching in your throat before stopping entirely. Warmth and trepidation blend within you, fuzzy enough at the edges to seem like one thing—a single force that makes your palm itch with desire, desperation, to reach out and run a finger over his features, feel the bump of the mole on his nose — the most prominent — against your skin. 

You remain this way — silent, watching — even when your lecturer resumes the lesson, and Sunghoon starts typing, writing, and listening again. Polite enough to pretend he doesn’t notice your gaze searing into his face.

After class, and his meeting with Coach, you let Sunghoon lead the conversation and the way to your flat, where you find Chaewon and Yunjin sitting on the couch, whispering to themselves while the two of you study at the coffee table. It’s uncomfortable, an awkward height, too high for the way you’re sitting but you feel calm under the supervision of Chaewon and Yunjin—you won’t do anything to merit teasing in front of them, no matter how badly you want to feel Sunghoon’s face in your hands or stroke his cheekbones with your thumbs. 

To the best of your ability, you answer the questions he has for you—he’d written a ton in his tiny notepad during class, his own concerns clear with each neatly-penned iteration of: How to see actions/dialogue for what they are and not what I want them to be? written in the margins and you try not to feel heartbroken for him.

Three hours have passed by when you walk him to the door, the two of you wrapped up in a bubble so secure you’re surprised to find Chaewon and Yunjin still sitting on the couch. They don’t say anything about Sunghoon in his absence, or the fact he’d given you his sweater when he noticed you were cold. You’re not sure why their silence disappoints you.

Instead, Yunjin asks you about trivial things like dinner while Chaewon sits in silence. 

“What flavour for ice cream?” Yunjin asks, rolling her eyes when you tug on the blanket but not complaining. “And don’t say something ridiculous like mint chocolate, YN.” 

“That happened once! And it was three years ago.. How was I supposed to know you hate fun?” 

Chaewon leans into you, letting you curl your limbs around her from behind as you rest your chin on her shoulder, liking the way her clean scent tickles your nose. 

“Mint-cho isn’t that bad,” she starts. “It’s a little jarring, sure, but it’s kind of sweet. Like watching people come to terms with their feelings for each other.” 

You nod your head, humming in understanding and furrowing your brows when Yunjin scoffs, staring straight at you. Her tone is equal parts cutting and loving, so you know she’s not trying to insult you, but don’t know what she means when she says, “It must be so nice to be as oblivious as you.” 

Yunjin never elaborates, and you never ask, actually feeling the statement’s journey in through one of your ears and out the other when dinner arrives. The three of you share pizza, ice cream, and secrets — the three pillars of 20-something-teenage-girlhood — at the kitchen table, with Chaewon sitting in your lap and picking pepperoni from your slices. 

It’s only hours after Yunijn’s gone home, that her words circle back to you, the statement and all of its weight perching on your chest with all the debilitation and persistence of a sleep paralysis demon.

“I think I’m getting sick,” you say as soon as she opens her door. “It’s been coming on for a while now, at least a week, maybe more.” 

Unimpressed and exhausted, Yunjin looks down at you through half-closed eyes. “Do you..” She pinches the bridge of her nose, sighing. “Do you have any idea what time it is right now?” 

“Yes. It’s three a.m.” 

“Exactly. See a doctor if you’re sick, I’m going back to sleep.”

“This is an emergen—” Yunjin cuts you off by pinching your lips together. “It’s three in the morning,” she reminds you. “You can’t yell like that in my hallway, come in.” 

You nod, crossing the threshold and taking off your shoes next to hers. “Sorry,” you whisper when the door is closed. 

Using her hand, Yunjin lifts your chin, squinting as her eyes adjust to the light when she flips the switch to inspect your face. “You don’t look or sound sick,” she mutters, flicking the light back off and going to her room. “What are your symptoms? And why did you come here?” 

You don’t have an answer for her last question so you ignore it, following her and tripping over a pair of her shoes in the process. “My cheeks start burning like crazy and my heart races, sometimes it gets hard to breathe.”

“You seem fine to me.” 

A shoulder-slumping sigh slips from your lips. “That’s the thing. I’ll be fine and then Sunghoon shows up with his pretty smile and perfect hair and I feel like I’ve run a marathon.” You know how it sounds, choosing your wording meticulously to let Yunjin be the one to say the words out loud instead of you—it’ll be easier to confront that way. 

From the doorway, you watch as she arches a brow, her interest piqued. “Oh?” 

“I know.” You nod, head bobbing rapidly in furious agreement. “It’s only a matter of time before I cough up a lung and die in his bedroom.”

At your words, Yunjin doesn't reply, only lifting her duvet and getting cosy underneath. You feel like you’re glued to the spot, waiting for her to say something, anything, but nothing comes. All she does is pat the empty spot in her bed. 

“What are you smirking for?” you ask, entering the room properly and closing the door. 

Her response only comes after you’ve taken your jacket and hoodie off, sitting next to her under the covers. “It’s nothing,” she says, laughing. 

“Tell me.” 

Yunjin sighs, resting a hand gently on your shoulder. You think it’s meant to be comforting but it’s the opposite. “You’ll be fine, I promise. Lovesickness isn’t deadly.” 

Feeling the weight of her reassurance, you settle down properly and sigh when your head hits the pillow. Lovesickness. Hmm. 

Closing your eyes, you try to sleep but can’t help tossing and turning as Yunjin snores behind you. You pat blindly around the end table for your phone, grabbing it and wincing at the brightness of your screen. Chewing on your lip, you open Google, looking up ‘lovesickness’ and frowning immediately at the results. Endless negativity fills the screen, terrifying words like ‘unrequited love’ forming a pit in your stomach. There’s nothing negative about what you feel for Sunghoon, nothing unrequited—you think. 

It was obvious during the trip, painfully so. In the way he’d tuck your hair behind your ear when his parents weren’t there to see, or how he slipped up and called you ‘baby’ in the bathroom, blushing when you said it back. You can’t fake something like that.. Can you?

Yeonjun did.

Shaking your head, you open Instagram to distract yourself. Jake’s story comes up first; he’s at a party where Jay is losing a game of beer pong, and at the other end of the table is Sunghoon grinning with a bright red lipstick kiss on his cheek. You lock your phone, using your hands to press on your belly to stop the stirring. 

Oh, you think. Lovesickness. 

When you wake up, the first thing you do is check Jake’s story again. The video is still there and that terrible stir in your stomach churns on, burrowing deeply into a pit of canyon-like proportion—so vast there’s a safety railing lining its edges. 

You eat breakfast in silence with Yunjin, zoning out mid-chew to figure out the origin of these feelings and how to handle them. Suddenly, the moment hits you clear as day, vivid like you’re watching it on a screen—it was your third night at his parents’ house, after your walk. 

You felt bad about how you acted, and what you said, so went straight up to your room. With nothing but the bedside lamp turned on, it was dimly lit, shadows cast on the walls as you sulked, replaying everything in your head. Guilt wrapped its long arms around your body, making you feel sick as you thought about it all. About the hurt etched over his face with every word you said, and the frown that stuck around for the rest of the walk as his hand clung limply to yours. 

There was a knock at the door, so gentle you almost missed it, and Sunghoon was standing there when you pulled it open, chewing on his lip with a mug in his hand. Steam skated over the opening, a rich chocolatey smell hitting your nose but the real kicker was the mug itself. In its place on Jake and Sunghoon’s mug tree, it was unassuming, a regular white mug, but upon meeting hot water, the face of young Sunghoon appeared, grinning with his tiny glasses on. It was a gift from one of his old coaches and though he never used it, it was your absolute favourite cup in the world. 

You felt soft around the edges when you looked up at him, his eyes wide and unsure as you met his gaze—he brought that mug three hours across the country so you could use it again. The thought shifted your heart into a comfortable position, settling in your chest with overwhelming warmth and an increased rate. 

“Hi,” you said, clearing your throat. 

“Hi,” he repeated, holding the mug out for you to take. “It’s still hot so be careful.” 

Nodding, you covered your hands with your sleeves, taking the cup from him and asking if he wanted to come in. Sunghoon nodded, shutting the door behind him and standing by the bed, watching you set the hot chocolate on the bedside table as you sat down. The two of you stayed like that for a while, with him only moving when you patted the spot next to you on the duvet. Your train of thought escaped you as soon as he sat down, the warmth of his familiar fresh, citrusy scent taking over and becoming the only thing you could register. The smell of summers with him, long days at the beach and short nights spent on the couch at random parties, cuddled into his side with his arm over your shoulders. The smell you’d come to associate with comfort and home—with Sunghoon. 

“It’s not fair for me to treat you like shit just because I’m annoyed, I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that earlier. I’m sorry.” 

A crease ran over Sunghoon’s thick brows as they tugged together, he shook his head. “You don’t have to apologise. I roped you into this whole thing and didn’t even try to think about how you would feel. I’m sorry.” His eyes carried a mix of regret and sincerity, mirroring the weight of his words.

“Anyway, I only came to bring you that,” he said, pointing at the cup. “And to check up on you, I’ll get out of your hair for tonight.” Sunghoon wiped his palms on his pants before standing up, reaching behind him to pick up the cloth he brought. For a moment, he stood there, staring down at it in his hand while you thought about telling him to stay, telling him that you wanted him in your hair—whatever that meant. But he spoke before you had the chance. “You left this, at mine, after.. well, you know. I’m sure you left it intentionally, I mean it was folded up perfectly on the end of my bed, so I know you did, but it didn’t feel right keeping it, you always wore it more than me.” 

Sunghoon extended his hand, holding it out to you and you knew exactly what it was as soon as the fabric touched your skin after so long. It was the shirt Jay bought him for Christmas in first year—they were roommates still trying to get a feel for each other. For a few weeks, Sunghoon had been pestering you about what he should get for Jay, saying it didn’t feel right not to get him anything, and you suggested a targeted t-shirt, one you’d been laughing at all day after seeing an ad for it on your timeline. Sunghoon was sceptical, but bought the red shirt anyway, hoping Jay would find BEING DAD IS AN HONOUR, BEING PAPA IS PRICELESS funny. He did. And Jay bought Sunghoon a targeted shirt too, your favourite. It was black and two sizes too big, with I NEVER DREAMED I’D BE A SEXY FIGURE SKATER BUT HERE I AM KILLING IT written over the chest. 

“Goodnight, YN,” Sunghoon said, crossing the room to leave but hesitating before closing the door. He poked his head through the opening and sighed. “I really am sorry.”

That night, you fell asleep in the shirt, the thinning, yet cosy, fabric wrapped around you like a hug as your heart started to beat a new rhythm, one that eerily echoed the five-foot-eleven figure skater who you let break it. 

This morning, Yunjin claps her hands in your face, seeming irritated when you look over at her. “You have class in an hour, what are you doing?” Before you have the chance to speak, realisation covers her face. “Oh, the feelings.” 

You nod solemnly, too caught up in the butterflies raiding your stomach to come up with something to say. 

At lightspeed, you scarf down the rest of your food, apologising for showing up so late as you head out the door. When you get home, you take the fastest shower of your life and feel grateful Chaewon isn’t around to tease you about the smile you can’t wipe from your face thinking about Sunghoon—you’ll text her later.

You run to campus, feeling the brisk autumn wind beating against your face while the rest of your body overheats under your jacket, hoodie and long sleeve. Despite the discomfort and ache in your lungs, you don’t stop until you reach the door of your lecture hall, huffing and puffing into the faces of classmates who don’t take any notice. Of course, in a stroke of pure luck, your lecturer is late, and you realise bitterly, that all of your huffing and puffing was in vain—you would have gotten to class with time to spare even if you walked.

It’s not a total waste though; you use the time to update Chaewon. 

you: i have news wonie..  i like sunghoon

wonie: …………….. fork in the kitchen yn what’s the news? 

wonie: OHHHH news to YOU.. can i call? 

She calls you immediately. You answer without thinking because your lecturer still hasn’t arrived, and there’s no one sitting close enough to hear or notice you taking a call. 

“Are you going to tell him?!” Chaewon’s voice is so loud you wince, pulling the phone away from your ear. 

“I don’t know.” You shrug even though she can’t see you, still holding the device at a distance just in case. “I don’t have any confirmation that he still.. likes me. It’s been a while, and I was pretty mean that day. 

Chaewon groans and you can picture her throwing herself onto her bed, exasperated. The rustling that comes through the receiver only frames the image, hanging it up. “Did you have to tell him to get a grip?” 

“You know..” You trail off, chewing on your bottom lip. “In hindsight, probably not.” 

A beat passes, she’s thinking. “Don’t worry,” she says. “I’ll help you.” 

“I.. have never been so worried in my life.” You sigh, picking at your freshly painted nails. “But I know you’ll do something no matter what I say, so do what you want, Wonie, but please be subtle about it.” 

Chaewon squeals down the phone. “I love youuuuu!” And it’s the last thing she says before kissing the mic a few times and hanging up. 

Slumping in your seat, you don’t have any time to stress about Chaewon’s plans because your lecturer walks in, with a travel cup in her hand and a paperback tucked under her arm. 

She apologises for being late, running a hand through her hair as she announces that you’ll be watching a film, an adaptation of a book you read at the start of term—Ian McEwan’s Atonement. You spend the first hour of the movie falling in and out of sleep until a text comes through from Sunghoon, and sheer excitement keeps you up.

hoonie: Wanna study together after class? 

you: of course!!!!!! 

hoonie: 🤍

The rest of the movie goes by in a drag, and you come away from it with a mild irritation towards Saoirse Ronan.

you: class just finished, heading to lib rn 

hoonie: Shit, still in the locker room, sorry !!! Omw, can you get a table? 

you: i’ll try..

It takes a while but you find an empty booth on the second floor, and set your bag on the plush green seat to take pictures of your surroundings to send to Sunghoon. You sit on the side facing the stairs so he can see you when he arrives. The thought of seeing him makes your heart race and you try out a few natural-seeming poses for when he’s here, cycling between resting your palm under your chin and sitting with your arms crossed a few times until the top of his head comes into view. 

Seeing him knocks the wind out of you as he approaches the staircase, taking them two at a time with his damp hair clinging to his forehead and neck. It doesn’t help that he’s wearing a tight black vest, and his sweats are hanging low on his hips. A breath you didn’t realise you were holding slips out when he lifts his head, spotting you immediately as a grin spreads over his lips and he raises his arm to wave, the veins in his forearm peeking out to say hi too. You can’t tell if it’s his lack of winter wardrobe or your newfound appreciation for him that’s making his biceps look so huge but it’s hard to look away, even when he reaches the table. 

“Are you hot?” you blurt out. 

Sunghoon laughs, raising a brow and something about the way he’s looking down at you makes your cheeks burn. “Depends who’s asking.” He takes his backpack off, leaving it on the table as he sits down, dumping his jacket and hoodie in a pile beside him.

“I’m asking,” you mumble. 

“Then, yeah, I’d hope so.” 

Is he flirting? It sounds like he’s flirting. Flirt back! “Nice arms.” 

He looks down at his biceps for a beat before looking at you warily. “Are you flirting with me?” He can’t fight the smile twitching at the corners of his lips but he tries his best, pressing them into a straight line.

“A little. They are nice though,” you admit.

Sunghoon grins. “Thanks, I’ve had them for a while now.”

You can’t come up with anything to say, too distracted by the way his smile reaches his eyes, lighting up his whole face and forcing a flustered heat to spread over your cheeks and neck. It’s only when you look away from him that you remember what you’re here for. It’s a study date, not a study date—there’s a difference. 

You hand Sunghoon the material you’d printed for him over the weekend, excerpts from texts you’d studied in class, so he can practise close reading and proper citation. As he makes his way through them, you can’t help stealing glances, smiling at the way his tongue sticks out a little while he focuses, or how he twirls his pen in his fingers while he’s thinking. You aren’t making the best use of your time together, copying out the slides from class yesterday, but you can’t help noticing the way he watches you when he thinks you can’t see. The small smile on his face while he does so only flusters you, an odd weakness settling in your knees as your cheeks heat up. 

After a while, Sunghoon sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Could you stop watching me?”

“If you noticed me watching, that means you’re watching me.” 

He shrugs, chewing on his lip. “Well, yeah. I’m always watching you,” he says like it’s a given. “But you don’t normally watch back, it’s distracting.” 

“You’re distracting.”

A playful smile curves his lips as he arches a brow, smugness painting his face. “Am I?” 

Too scared to verbalise your response, you nod slowly, hoping you don’t look as wound up as you feel. 

Sunghoon’s eyes flick over your face, flashing with something you don’t recognise. At least not from him. He sits back in his seat, assessing you and eventually shaking his head. 

“You know,” he says, eyes glowing with something you do recognise: cockiness. “If my sexy arms are getting to you that much, I can always put my hoodie back on. Wouldn’t want my little tutor getting distracted, would I?” 

Oh. 

Your stomach turns with want, mind reeling from his tone and the way his gaze lands on your lips. Sighing, you roll your eyes and try to seem unaffected. “Sunghoon, I never said your arms were sexy.” 

His phone starts to go off, buzzing against the table and he turns it over immediately, screen down on the surface as he shifts his focus back to his work. He chews on his lip while he does, eyes flicking back and forth between his phone and the words on the page. Curious, you lean over the table, elbows propped up as you rest your chin in your hands. He doesn’t spare you or his phone, which vibrates another four times, a glance.

“Are you going to get that?” 

Sunghoon shakes his head. “It’s nothing.” 

You hum, letting just enough curiosity seep into the sound that he’ll elaborate without being asked to. It doesn’t take long for him to deliver.

“It’s just Chaewon,” he says, running his hand through his hair and lifting his head. Sunghoon smiles. “We’ve been texting a lot these days.” 

“Cool.” You nod a few times, aiming for nonchalance but hitting bobblehead as you wait for him to continue. He doesn’t, only humming in response, nodding too. 

After a beat, he picks up his phone, angling it just high enough that you can’t see the screen. He reads the messages, an exhaled laugh coming from his nose as the tips of his ears redden—Fuck. This is worse than you thought. 

Chaewon’s commitment to girl code runs deep—she’s been rebuffing Jake since first year when she overheard a girl she’d never seen before telling her friends she thought he was cute. So you know without having to read the texts that nothing she’s saying is even remotely flirty, you can smell the auto-caps and use of the word ‘buddy’ from across the table. 

What you hadn’t counted on, however, was the potential for Sunghoon’s feelings to shift. If they really have been texting more, can you rule out the possibility that he might like.. her? Chaewon is a catch, beyond a catch, and you’d already turned Sunghoon down. Brutally. Of course, he’d move on, he has moved on. 

The rest of the study session is spent manifesting, writing Park Sunghoon over and over in the back of your notebook. You fill three pages while brainstorming ways to snatch a lock of his hair until he suggests that the two of you call it a day. He walks you home, telling you about how Jake’s been bribing him with food to get a ride to the LEGO store across town for the new Marvel set. 

“With or without the meals, I would’ve taken him, but his ramen is my favourite, so..” Sunghoon says, climbing the last step of your building and holding the door open for you. “He even brought a slice of tiramisu to the rink for me after practice.” 

“You’re terrible,” you say, frowning up at him as you search for your keys. “Do you want to come in?” 

Sunghoon chuckles, shaking his head. “I have a meeting with one of my lecturers soon, I’d have to leave in—” He pauses, rolling up the sleeve of his jacket to check the time. “—eight minutes.” 

“I’m cool with that if you are,” you mumble, suddenly shy. 

A bright smile spreads over his lips and he nods, following you in. 

Chilled by the harsh wind, the only thing on your mind is a hot drink as you lead Sunghoon to the kitchen. He shakes his head when you offer him one, sitting on the countertop and exhaling into his palms before rubbing them together. You can’t help but frown at the sight, feeling guilty that you can’t change the weather to suit him. At your thought process, your brows raise. Wow, you think. Is this who you are? 

You busy yourself with the selection of hot drinks you and Chaewon have accumulated, eyeing each container from top to bottom. A purple tub of Cadbury’s hot chocolate that you’re sure is on the brink of expiration, coffee—sachets of the instant stuff you’ve grown to like since leaving home, Earl grey from one of many brands, or the fancy silk tea bags Chaewon’s mum brought home from a trip—rooibos or plum-apple-cinnamon. 

Craving something sweet, you settle for hot chocolate, pulling the heavy container from the cupboard next to Sunghoon’s head and setting it beside your cup. He’s on his phone, scrolling too fast to take in anything he’s seeing and he shakes his head when you ask if he wants something to drink. 

On the dish rack, Chaewon’s mug catches your eye, so you pick it up to dry it off and put it down next to yours. “I’m going to check if Wonie wants any,” you say, wiping imaginary crumbs from the counter onto the floor. 

Sunghoon only clears his throat, shaking his head. “She’s not home, one of her acrylics popped off so she’s at the shop waiting for a cancellation.” 

The information itself isn’t jarring but hearing it from Sunghoon is. You put on what you hope is a neutral smile and nod, taking milk from the fridge and assembling your drink on autopilot while thinking of ways to redirect the conversation. 

“If you knew you’d have to go back to campus so soon, why’d you walk me home?” you ask, watching your cup spin in the microwave. “I could’ve walked on my own.” 

Sunghoon is already looking at you when you turn your head, his cheeks puffed out with air as he blinks slowly. Because I love you, is what you hope he’ll say. You think you need him to say it. 

“Because you don’t have to do anything on your own when you have me,” he says instead, and it’s infinitely better. 

The words seep through your every fibre, his intonation and lucid affection making a home for themselves in your heart, spreading warmth from head to toe. Your smile becomes a radiant grin, only brightening when he shakes his head, smiling down at his feet. 

Sunghoon hugs you in the kitchen when it’s time for him to leave, his arms holding you tight to his chest as he rocks you back and forth. You inhale his scent, all warm citrus under freshly washed cotton and something exclusive to him.

Wiping the smile from your face feels impossible. You don’t let go when he does, and a sweet laugh — a giggle, you think — tumbles out of him as he mumbles that he really has to go. Still, you cling onto him, taking clumsy steps backwards, with your arms locked around his waist, to your front door, smiling as you watch him put his shoes on. 

“You don’t have to walk me downstairs, honestly,” he says, looking down at you in the doorway.

“I want to.” 

His lips quirk up at the corners, a full smile breaking through and causing your stomach to flutter with so much force you’re sure it’s visible through your shirt. His eyes fall to your lips, lingering, before he clears his throat, looking away. 

“I’ll text you when I get to the door, promise.” 

You lock your pinky with his. “Send a selfie, just so I know it’s you and not someone else using your phone.” 

Sunghoon’s head falls back in a laugh. “Should I just call you? That way you can make sure I get back to uni in one piece.” 

You nod.

“That wasn’t anything with Chaewon earlier, I just needed advice on some girl stuff..” He trails off, searching your eyes. It’s obvious that he’s telling the truth, that he wants you to believe him. You do. “I wasn’t sure if that was something I could talk about with you.” 

Girl stuff. Hmm. You try not to read too much into it and look at the bigger picture instead—your best friend is going through something and doesn’t feel like he can come to you about it.. You squeeze his pinky reassuringly, a flutter in your stomach when he smiles. 

“You can talk to me about anything,” you say, meaning it. 

Sunghoon presses his lips together, humming and unlinking your fingers. “Next time,” he says after a beat, waving at you. 

You shut the door, locking it while watching through the peephole, he leaves as soon as the lock clicks shut. In the kitchen, your hot chocolate is cooling down, and your phone rings in your back pocket. Sunghoon’s calling. 

Hanging out with Sunghoon. Making sure he sticks to the time-blocked schedule you made for him. Quizzing him on biology terms until he gets restless. If the last two weeks were an episode of Family Feud, those would be the top three answers to the question: Name something YN is doing right now.

Thankfully tonight, it’s the first one. 

You’ve been sitting on the couch for so long, Jake has both left for football practice and arrived from football practice. Conversation ebbs and flows—an hour or so of nonstop talking, followed by another hour or so of comfortable near silence. 

It’s during a quiet hour that Sunghoon sits up straight, clearing his throat before saying, “Let me ask you something. He retreats to the other side of the couch, turning to face you with his whole body. “I don’t want things to be weird after I ask, so no matter what your answer is, I won’t bring it up or ask again.”

Arching a curious brow, you nod. “You can ask me anything,” you say, meaning it.

Sunghoon’s face is impressively blank—minus the motion of sharp teeth worrying plush lip, there’s absolutely nothing behind his eyes that seem to stare right through you. 

Eventually, he asks, “Can I kiss you?” He says more. Big, scary words like for closure and moving on, but they don’t register. They don’t matter. 

Your heart pounds at the base of your throat as you find interest in your hands that sit in your lap. Even without looking at him, you can’t get over the slight crease he had in his brow and the slight tremor in his hands. 

“For closure,” you repeat, though your voice doesn’t sound like it’s coming from you, muffled under the thump of your heart. 

Sunghoon nods. “For closure.” 

A humourless laugh sneaks past your throat as you look at him. You shouldn’t have. In the lamplight, Sunghoon is golden and glorious. Warm light casts one side of his face, diffusing gently over the steep slope of his nose, highlighting his moles and the look in his eyes, gentle and curious all at once. Unwillingly, your gaze falls to his lips, parted, tempting. 

One firm nod of your head brings Sunghoon’s hand to your face, his palm cupping your cheek with soft skin as his thumb traces your cheekbone. You grow anxious under his stare, under the drag of his eyes over your features, taking them one at a time like he’s committing them to memory.

Leaning in, your eyes flutter shut as your lips meet his and he freezes, mouth completely still on yours. Delicately, your tongue traces the seam of his lips, soft and plump, until they part for you, moving with yours. Sunghoon’s kiss is unpolished when it reaches you. It’s hesitant but tender, clumsy but sweet, he’s trying and he’s perfect; your favourite. 

The kiss is.. it’s everything. It’s the racing of your heart, the thudding, the vibrant buzz you can hear, feel humming against your ears. It’s a rush of blood to the head, a lightness all over that pulls you out of your body. It’s Sunghoon’s soft lips curving into a smile against yours, his gentle hold on your face never letting up as he holds you as close as he can manage, and it’s every bit as lovely as the rest of him.

Palpable is the heartbeat of your friendship, beating to a lull under the surface of the kiss, fizzling out into nothing, a steady silence, flatlining to give way to something more, something bigger. 

Every brush of your lips against his is a revelation, a confession. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, you tell him with your kiss. You’re everything I need. His free hand finds yours, locking your fingers and squeezing, the action timed well enough to make you think he hears you, to make you think he’s saying, we’ll be okay, I still love you. 

With that, he pulls away, a delicate tension piercing the air. Blown eyes and laboured breathing—he’s beautiful, fuzzy around the edges with warm orange and all of the love in your heart. Breathless, you chew on your lip, cognisant of Sunghoon’s hand in yours and the sparkle in his eyes as he looks at you. 

Belatedly, you squeeze his hand back, smiling. “Was it everything you ever dreamed of?” you whisper, part teasing, all curious.

Abruptly, Sunghoon stands up, letting go of you in the process. “I have to go.” 

You want to stop him, you think you’re supposed to. To grab him by the arm and kiss him again, to yell in his face that you love him until he understands. But you don’t. Instead, you stay seated, staring at Sunghoon’s back and following him with your eyes out of the room and down the hall until he’s out of sight. 

It’s your first time being so upset after a kiss, and you can’t tell if it’s his leaving or the mention of him moving on that’s tripping you up so much. That’s causing melancholy to crawl from the shadows, sinking its jagged nails into your skin to pull you under. 

You love him. He’s gone. 

Eyes stuck on the doorway, time stretches over the room around you, thick and malleable, wet and cloying—clay stuck under your nails for days as the fire in the kiln rages on. 

Sighing, you get up and wait at his door. You ball your hand into a limp fist, knocking weakly. Sunghoon doesn’t reply. You try again, harder. Still nothing. 

Barging into the room, you find him sitting on the end of his bed with his face in his hands. 

“Don’t move on.” The words come out before you realise and Sunghoon lifts his head, squinting at you. 

“Huh?” He tilts his head, watching closely as you approach him, tipping it back enough to meet your eyes when you stand over him. 

You take a breath, holding it until your head starts to spin. “I don’t want you to love someone else, Sunghoon. Please don’t move on.” 

The stillness that follows is disconcerting, a long quiet you can feel on your skin, amplifying the blank stare on his face as he looks up at you. His eyes flash, a spark of hope behind them so bright it stings to look at.

“Do you..” He trails off, his lips moving to form the next word though stopping short.

“I do,” you whisper, nodding. “I’m sorry for taking so long.”

An exhaled laugh comes from his nose as he grins, shaking his head. “You like me?” he asks, excitement and disbelief fighting for authority over his voice, his hands holding your waist and pulling you down into his lap.

“I love you,” you admit, settling on his thighs. 

“You do?” His eyes are wide and gleaming, searching every feature on your face before settling on your own.

You nod. “So much.” 

Sunghoon’s chin tips up, his lips pressing against yours, excited pecks that can’t turn into much more for the smiles on your faces. You rest your arms on his shoulders, hands clasping behind his head, nervous fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. 

“So.. will you be my boyfriend? For real?” 

Tilting his head, he tries and fails to fight a smile. “I will. I’m a little bummed though.” 

“Why?” You raise a brow, and the word tips up at the end with it. 

“I wanted to be the one to ask you.” Sunghoon’s honesty warms the room, endearing you completely. 

You grin, loving the heat spreading over your cheeks. “Ask me anyway.” 

“Please can I be your boyfriend?” 

In the weeks that followed, it became immediately clear that boyfriend Sunghoon operated on a pendulum swinging between sexual ferality and terror. He’d get distracted during study sessions at home, finding more interest in biting at your neck than stream-of-consciousness prose, but closed his eyes if a sex scene came on TV. He’d buck his hips against yours while making out but flinch at the sight of condoms in the store.

He wasn’t ready to have sex and didn’t know how to tell you, so you took matters into your own hands, asking if you could wait until after his results for resubmission came in, saying you didn’t want the distraction for either of you. Sunghoon agreed, pecking your cheek and holding you tight to his chest. 

The only thing was that your lecturer hadn’t given him an exact date, so every morning, you held your phone in a vice grip waiting for Sunghoon to update you, and every morning, you got the same text: Nothing today, baby ☹️ 

This morning, you’re brushing your teeth when he texts you, in all caps: NO FUCKING WAY I GOT A 98 !!! LOOK !!!

When the picture comes through, it’s of him in the mirror and you choke on mouthwash at the sight. He’s smiling, bright and beautiful, in a black vest that he’s holding up a little to show his stomach, though his palm is in the way of his toned abs, and it cuts off right at the top of his grey sweatpants. 

Your mouth goes dry as you click on it, fixating on every little detail you can find: the thickness of his fingers against his phone, the dip in his collarbones, the breadth of his shoulders and the cinch of his waist. In a fit of desperation, you try swiping at the bottom of your screen, willing the picture to magically extend. It doesn’t. 

hoonie: Finger slipped.. You like?

you: mm.. 

you: 98??? HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT YOU!!!

hoonie: All you.. do you like the picture?

you: i love it………….

hoonie: My girl 🤍

Another picture comes in, and sure enough, through the glare of his laptop screen, you see: Course name: The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway. Marks Awarded: 98.0.

you: well done baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hoonie: Thx 😁

hoonie: Can I have my prize now ha ha .. haha 😈

you: just for that emoji, no you absolutely cannot.

Your resolve isn’t strong enough when it comes to Sunghoon, because purple devil emoji and all, you show up at his door with condoms in your bag and a bouquet of lilies behind your back. 

The door creaks open and Sunghoon greets you with a grin. “Hey, gorgeous. You proud of me?” 

You beam at him, holding out the flowers. “I’m very proud, Hoon, well done.” 

“I don’t want to ruin the moment,” he starts, taking the bouquet from your hands and sniffing the flowers with an approving smile. “But hearing you say you’re proud of me is awakening something I didn’t know existed.”

“A good something?” 

“Mm,” he hums, arms finding your waist before he pecks your lips. “A very good something.” 

Sunghoon’s words hit your lips and your core, a desperate heat flooding your stomach as he kisses you deeply, his body pressed tightly against yours while he pulls you into his apartment. He kicks the door shut with his foot, slipping his hand under your jacket to settle in your back pocket, not quite squeezing but holding your ass as gently as he can manage. 

He breaks away from you, love in his eyes as he stares down into yours, catching his breath. “I don’t think we own a vase.” 

In his kitchen, you rifle through cupboards to find something to hold the flowers, eventually finding a whiskey decanter in the cupboard under the sink, and holding it up for Sunghoon to see.

“Oh, yeah,” he says. “It’s Jay’s. It’ll work right?” 

You nod, taking it to the sink to rinse it. Sunghoon wraps his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder watching you fill the decanter with water and flower food before grabbing the bouquet. He presses open-mouthed kisses to your neck and you struggle to stay focused as you cut down the stems on the flowers, arranging them neatly. 

“Can I take a photo?” he asks when you’re done. 

He’s smiling when you turn around to look at him, a soft curve of his lips that makes your heart race, a deep tenderness in his eyes when you meet them. You smile too. 

“They’re yours, baby, do whatever you want.” 

“A photo of you with the flowers,” he clarifies. 

Warmth settles in your chest, a grin spreading over your lips from ear to ear. You nod, taking the decanter in your hands when he lets go of you, holding the flowers up beside your face and smiling for his camera. As his phone shutter clicks away, you steal glances at his face behind it. He’s watching the screen with a smile, telling you how beautiful you are.

“I want pictures of you too,” you say, handing the flowers over. 

“I’m yours, baby, do whatever you want.” 

Sunghoon poses for your photos, smiling sweetly in some and sniffing the bouquet appreciatively with closed eyes for others. He’s glowing and he’s beautiful and your heart triples in size while taking picture after picture until your phone tells you it has ten percent. 

“Thank you, YN,” he says. “I’ve never gotten flowers before, I love them.” His arms settle around your waist, lips pressing against yours before you have the chance to respond. 

You try anyway, mumbling against his lips that you love him. In response, Sunghoon grins, but the feeling of his cock growing hard against you is distracting, a lust-coated thorn in the side of the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. With locked lips and uncertain steps, the two of you bump into corners and trip over your own feet, stumbling to his room and parting only to tear his hoodie over his head.

Breathless, you pull away, eyes trailing over him and picking up on everything, from the tremble in his hands to the lust-addled worry in his eyes. He’s nervous, you think—though it escapes you, the last word coming out like a question.

Sunghoon scoffs, his hands resting on your waist under your shirt, skin clammy against yours. “Of course, I’m nervous.” 

“You don’t have to be.”

“I just want to be good for you.” 

“Don’t worry about that, let me take care of you, Hoon.” Your palms drag up his torso — firm abs through soft cotton, defined chest over racing heart — to rest on his shoulders. “Sit,” you say when he nods. 

He gulps, taking a seat on the end of his bed under your gentle push, eyes widening when you sink to your knees between his legs and reach for his drawstring, pulling the ends to untie the knot. 

“Wait,” Sunghoon says, breathless, scrunching up his face and dropping his head. “Let me calm down, baby. At this rate, I’ll come just seeing your hand on it.” 

You giggle, resting your head on his thigh and wrapping the drawstring around your finger.

“I’m serious, YN,” he mumbles, laughing as he takes his vest off. “I need a minute.” 

Sunghoon’s eyes are pressed shut as he tries to collect himself, lips pouty and kiss-bitten, slightly parted with ragged breaths slipping out. You wait patiently for him. He’s so pretty like this, with the crease in his brow and the pretty pink flush dusting his cheeks as his chest rises and falls. You can’t help but smile, leaning into his touch when his hand rests on top of your head, his blunt nails grazing your scalp. After a while, he seems more at ease, his eyes finding yours and he smiles shyly, telling you he’s ready now and lifting his hips from the bed to let you pull his sweats and underwear down. 

Free from the constraints of fabric, his cock slaps his stomach with a wet sound as the tip meets his skin, leaving a pearlescent streak over his abs. The sight makes your mouth water and you can’t look away. “Pretty,” you whisper.

Wrapping a hand under his tip, you swipe it with your thumb, taking time to memorise the flutter of his eyelids, the bobbing of his Adam’s apple, and the soft sigh he lets out. You stroke him slowly, liking the way his breath picks up as his brows knit together before you take him in your mouth. It’s a tight fit but you do your best, spurred on by the way he tugs at your hair and stutters through a holy fuck as you take as much of him as you can. 

Sunghoon goes silent, only squirming when you use your hand to stroke him near his base. Self-conscious about his lack of vocal affirmation, you look up at him through your lashes, and the pure bliss on his face is unbearably attractive. His eyes are rolled back under furrowed brows, his mouth hanging open as he throws his head back.

“Am I doing okay?” you ask, using the moment to catch your breath.

He nods, inhaling shakily and screwing his eyes shut while his hips buck up into your fist. “I’m.. You’re doing such a good job, baby, so good.”

Satisfaction courses through you from the praise, a high that dulls the ache in your jaw. Still watching him, you massage his balls in your palm, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his tip when he whines. You tongue at his slit until he thrusts back into your mouth, tip hitting your throat, and he gasps when you gag, his arm coming up to cover his eyes. A belated apology slips from his lips, mumbled as he strokes your hair with a shaking hand and goes quiet again. When you speed up, his breath stutters, the muscles in his thighs contracting around your head as you suck and lick and drool on his cock. 

A moan of your name, and his hand holding your hand down, are the only warnings you get before Sunghoon comes, spilling his load right down your throat. Whining, his hips buck up against your face, pushing further and further until he falls back onto the mattress.

Your throat is hoarse and aches while you use the back of your hand to wipe at your lips, enjoying what’s left of his taste on your tongue. Deep red tints his neck and chest, a pretty flush gleaming under the sheen of sweat on his skin. He’s mesmerising, as he tries for air through swollen lips and looks up at you through squinted eyes. He reaches for you, cute grabby hands tugging your shirt and pulling you down so you’re lying next to him with your head on his chest. 

“You’re amazing, baby, so good for me,” Sunghoon whispers, eyes fluttering shut as you drag your nails over his torso, feeling the subtle heave of the slick, sculpted muscle over his stomach and chest. 

Pride heats your chest, satisfaction rolling over you like a wave. “Really?”

He hums in affirmation, nodding his head. 

“You were so quiet, I couldn’t really tell,” you add, hungry for more praise. 

“The walls are so thin in here, I just got used to being quiet,” Sunghoon says, frowning. Hand meeting your chin, he tips your head up towards him, pressing a soft kiss to your lips and mumbling, “I’m sorry. You were perfect, I swear.” 

It’s a sweet kiss. Until lips move harder and hands get lower, desperate as he thumbs the top of your leggings, palm unmoving but a dangerous heat blooms in your stomach anyway.

“Can I..” Sunghoon pinches you softly through the material, unsure eyes boring deep into yours. 

You nod. “You can.” 

Slipping under your waistband, his fingers skate across your skin dipping between your thighs. He grazes your slit, satisfaction clear in the groan he lets out as he feels the wetness there, pulling it over the length of your slit to cover your clit. Your breath hitches, a strangled gasp, pleasure and surprise meeting in your throat under the pressure of his thumb on your clit, the gentle sting of his finger pushing into you. 

What Sunghoon lacks in experience, he makes up for with the sheer length and thickness of his fingers. It’s almost jarring, it’s enough to force your eyes closed and bring a sigh rumbling out of you, ache and relief settling between your legs, where he curls a finger against your walls and drags slow circles over your clit. 

“Can you take these off, baby?” he asks, hand away to touch your leggings. 

You don’t waste a second, sitting up to pull them off, throwing them and your underwear across the room. Sunghoon licks his lips, tugging at the hem of your shirt. 

“And this? If you want..” 

You nod, pulling it off immediately to let it join the rest of your clothes in a heap on the floor. The way he gulps is a confidence boost, his dilated pupils taking in every inch of your body, though his gaze always pulls back to your bra—white and lacy, thin enough for your nipples to push through the fabric and Sunghoon can’t seem to get enough, though he waits until you’re lying down again to touch you. 

Sunghoon props himself up on his elbow, leaning over you. “You’re beautiful,” he whispers, dragging a finger over the lace at the top of your bra, toying with the material and the little bow sitting between your breasts. His eyes flick up to meet yours. “So beautiful,” he repeats. 

Hiding your face in his chest, you mumble, “Thank you,” into his skin while trying to ignore the heat spreading over your body wherever he touches you. His hand trails from your arm to your waist, resting on your hips to slip over your ass for a beat, where he grabs and squeezes the flesh there before coming back around to slot between your legs—you lift one of them, resting it over his body, and he’s smiling sweetly when you look up at him.

Sunghoon’s movements are unchanging, though the sensation is heightened by the unbridled desire in his lidded eyes that urges white heat to lick over every inch of your skin—this time he pushes two fingers into you.

It doesn’t get better than this, you think. But it does, quickly. 

Leaning over you, his eyes flick across your face, one feature at a time as he chews on his lip. Reaching up, you push some of his hair from his face, holding it back and saying, “Relax, baby.” 

“Don’t want to hurt you.”

Moving your hand, you blink when his hair flops back over his forehead, tickling your eyelashes. His eyes are focused now, staring straight down into yours, want and worry flashing behind them. 

“You won’t, I promise,” you say, locking your pinky with his, feeling relieved when he smiles.

Sunghoon pushes in slowly, his name slipping from your lips when he exhales shakily, head falling forward. The sting, the pleasure, make it hard to breathe, molten desire taking hold of your lungs as he carves out a place for himself as far as you’ll take him, all the way to the hilt as slow as he can manage. 

A moan tears out of him, lewd and whiny as his hair tickles your collarbone, head falling into the crook of your neck. His skin is hot and damp against yours, his breath burning your shoulder as he tries to calm down. It’s difficult to register much else, tethered only by the sound of his voice when he asks, “Am I hurting you?” 

“Hoon,” you whisper. 

“Can you look at me, baby?” He lifts his head, resting a hand on your cheek. You blink your eyes open, gaze locking with his, where concern pushes through his desire. “Am I hurting you?” he asks again. “Are you okay?” 

You nod. “I’m okay, just..” You sigh. “Full. Need a minute.” 

Sunghoon kisses you, lips moving gently with yours, passing breathy whines between your mouths until you feel yourself relaxing. Pulling his plush bottom lip between yours, you suck on it, nodding. “Want you to move, baby,” you mumble. 

He scans your face, eyes meeting yours as he pulls his hips back. He’s slow, so slow with his thrusts that your belly turns with want, your fingernails sink into the taut skin of his back, and jagged sobs fall out of you with each drag of his cock along your walls. 

Everywhere his skin touches yours is set ablaze with scorching heat, goosebumps pushing past the surface as his breath fans your neck and his sharp teeth graze your skin. He bites hard enough to sting, and you wince as his tongue flicks over your bitten flesh to soothe you.

You were so worked up earlier, writhing against the sheets and coming undone in his palm, so bliss quickly pushes through the ache between your legs. “Good, Hoon, feels so good,” you manage, struggling to convey how perfect it is.

“Just want to make you feel good.” His words melt into each other, vowels soft and elongated as they curl around each other. He’s working up a steady rhythm, his tip consistently nudging you where you need it—the spot that makes the room blur around you. “That’s all I want.” 

Before long, the knot in your stomach pulls you up from the mattress, arching your back towards the ceiling. Mouth to mouth, chest to chest—it’s the closest you’ve ever felt to someone else, the closest you’ve ever been. The thought alone knocks the wind out of you, and his persistent whining does nothing to help.

Your want and adoration for Sunghoon run bone-deep, inching up your spine and creeping over your shoulders, intertwined with an all-consuming pleasure that turns the heat in your stomach molten as a shudder zips through you. Even though you can’t find the words to let him know, he lifts your hips from the bed to fuck you deeper, harder, into the mattress until shaky orgasms pull both of you under. 

You let him fall into you, fingers curling around his hair, whispering I love you into the skin of his neck as he comes, most of his weight on top of you while you catch your breath, relishing in the fullness you feel as the last waves of your high pull back. You stay like this for as long as he needs, his head coming up from the crook of your neck to smile at you before pressing his lips to yours. A sleepy haze fills the room around you, tongue swiping tongue as you giggle happily into his mouth. 

After a while, he gets up, tying the condom to throw it away and comes back with his shirt. He uses it to clean up—gentle between your legs, pressing kisses to your calves while he does. Sunghoon’s tenderness wraps around your heart, and love clouds your vision, forming a blurry trail that follows all of his movements, glowing like something from a dream, ethereal, an apparition. 

The bed dips beside you, his arms around you, pulling you in so his chin rests on your head. You push your cheek into his chest, hoping the two of you will meld into one—the thought makes you warm all over, a fuzziness that reaches every part of your body while he presses kisses into your hair, rubbing your back. 

“I love you,” he says, voice as soft as the rest of him. “I’m glad I exist.”

mama park: Hi lovely 😍 missing you lots, wondering when you’ll be home for Xmas………..love ma

Sunghoon stirs, nose scrunching as he snores softly into the quiet of a winter morning. His chest rises and falls steadily under your head and he doesn’t move when you sit up. The lamp on his desk is still on — neither of you could be bothered getting up to turn it off last night — and under its dim glow, you admire him. Perfect lips gently curved—long lashes kissing the skin under his eyes. 

Love hits you from all angles, warmth all over from head to toe despite the chill in Sunghoon’s room. You can’t help but grin, leaning up to nose along the underside of his chin, his natural scent so soft yet dizzying as you nuzzle into him. He stirs again, turning his head this way and that before resting, you feel a bit bad, deciding to leave him be and text his mum back. 

you: hi mum !!! missing you sooooooo much :((( will be home asap

mama park: BTW Sunghoon told me everything. I raised such good actors LOL make sure he looks after you and keeps you happy!

you: i’m so sorry we lied to you..

you: but i’m really happy with him and he loves me a lot

you: i love him so much .. never been so sure of anyone in my life

© zreamy (2023), all rights reserved. do not repost, translate, or plagiarise my work. do let my know your thoughts !

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[tenderloincherub]

so i’ve met a guy

#i don't wanna get in my head and form high hopes out of nothing as i usually do #but #we've been two years in the same school and ever since i saw him i went like huh godamn cute but we never spoke #and then he asked me to be his partner for an investigation project but like he explicitly asked me to work only him and i with no other #member in our team. unfortunately i already had a team so i said no and then he went and did his work all on his own and i felt kinda bad #but also found it umm interesting? still i know maybe he thought i worked well but didn't really like working in teams so anyway #then last term we were together in some classes again and this teacher gave us homeworks that you could do alone or in teams #my friends weren't in the same class so i decided to work alone because it was like an easy homework? i mean we literally had to read #something and make a scheme out of it and that's it so yep pretty easy one of those things i consider easier if you do it alone actually #but then he sent me a text asking me to work with him and i was like ummm idk ok #i mean we had talekd once or twice and it had mainly him asking me to share my notes or me asking him for references of some professors and #stuff. but well he suggested a videocall to do the homework (yes we're still hanging on online classes:/) and !!! i think i had never worked #in teams before. haha sounds dramatic but i felt like we were really doing the things together which i understood why it's not the same as #dividing stuff in parts and i really liked that and idk it was nice #so we finished and then he started doing talk and i was like nice nice and he remembered where i was from from when i introduced myself in #classes¿ and well the thing is i really liked him and then we worked again but then for the last work i asked him to work together and he #said he was dropping out of school for the rest of the term and i was like ok #and then two months ago a friend of mine organized a tour in our campus and she needed to gather 15 people #so i asked him if he wanted to tag along and he said yes and sorry i'm not used to people accepting my invitations okay #so the day arrived and i saw him and he's so fucking tall and he seemed so nice and we could only talk a bit but i mean we all know where #this was going i developed a crush on him because i fall in love just a little ol little bit every day with someone new you know #but anyways i hadn't seen him in school now that we're attending and last wednesday i ran into him but i didn't recognize him at first #i just noticed him watching me and i was like uhhh is this him??? and yes he was #we talked for like two minutes and he said he had to go to class but when i walked away to go with a friend i saw he had turned back to look #at me #this means nothing i know but let me dream ok a girl can dream a boy can dream

[shankschewtoy]

Hiiii. So this is my first time requesting or anything so I’m kinda really nervous??? Anyways, I love your crack fics, I literally giggle non stop and they bring light into my soul.

So, that being said, I have a request. Could you do something with Crocodile and Ace (and whichever other characters) reacting to their s/o having a spider or some type of scary bug on their back? Idk if your can go anywhere with this but hey, it’s worth a shot.

Okay that’s it bye bye have a good day :)))

a/n - omg I’m so glad I can bring light into your life 😭🫶 literally my goal when I’m writing this stuff 💜 oml bro crocodile is afraid of bugs I just know he is 💀 that’s why he had robin, so she could handle them for him

warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, crack, crocodile would leave you with the the bug just to run as far away as possible 💀🫶

- pls if he sees a single bug in his house he’d move out of his mansion and go to another sea of ocean 💀

- don’t get me wrong he takes you with him of course and makes sure you’re protected from those heinous insects. Get ready for loads of bug spray and pest killing chemicals, because your house is going to smell like that for at least a couple weeks 😃🫶

- so one day, you’re relaxing on the sofa, listening to some ambient music, the lights a bit dimmed, with the shutters open just enough for some light to shine through without being too harsh. It was a weekend, so it was due time for some relaxation!

- crocodile had just gotten finished with his work, and finally he’d get to spend some quality time with you. As he walked over, getting ready to join you on the couch, he froze.

- his eyes were locked onto your back, his breathing completely stopped, his body stiff as a board

- a tiny black speck on your back was… moving. Could that be a- SPIDER? You turned around because you heard footsteps, and you looked confused to see crocodile just- frozen, with wide, disgusted, fearful eyes as if you just committed some heinous crime against humanity

- “….Crocodile? You ok?”

- …

- “Hello???? Earth to crocodile?”

- “Y/n. You know I love you right?“

- “…What?”

- “Then you know why I must do this.”

- “What do you me- hey where’re you going?!”

- to go bag (he has one prepared for this exact situation bruh 💀) materializes out of thin air, then cue crocodile skedaddling out the door without explaining or warning you like a scared selfish asshole

- “CROCODILE IT’S NOT EVEN THE SIZE OF MY FINGERNAIL.”

- “IT’S AN INSECT Y/N.”

- “SO YOU’D LEAVE ME WITH THE FUCKING BUG SO YOU COULD GET AWAY FIRST-? 😭”

- “..well of course I would’ve sent someone back for you-“

- “SENT SOMEONE?!”

- see now ace is afraid of bugs too. But he’s not a selfish asshole like crocodile 💀 bro would at least try and protect you while screaming and sobbing

- you two were relaxing, snuggling together and watching the sun set on the deck of the Moby dick. It always never failed to amaze you with how many colors spread across the sky.

- ace absolutely adored these moments with you. It made him feel so- alive but also dead at the same time. Because how could one be this happy and in love with you?

- he looked down at you, and leaned down to press a kiss to the top of your head, and that’s when he saw… it

- cue the scream of a demon plus a kid who just saw a clown

- “WTF ACE WHAT?!”

- “BABE- DO NOT MOVE. THERE’S A BIGASS BUG ON YOUR HEAD.”

- “EXCUSE ME?!”

- ace grabbed his shoe in a panic, and aimed directly at your head. But since he was so afraid, he was closing his eyes.. as he was swinging to kill the bug.. and he ended up slapping the absolute shit out of you instead of the bug

- “Phew, think I got it- Y/N?! WHAT HAPPENED ARE YOU OK?!”

- “WDYM AM I OK YOU SLAPPED THE SHIT OUT OF ME-“

- “Sorry.. OH SHIT I MISSED-“

- “NONONONO ACE WAIT-“

- you got hit five times before he actually got it. 💀🫶 I hope your brain isn’t damaged 😭

- luffy was one of those kids who collected beetles and watched them fight each other like it was the most intense battle he’s ever seen 💀

- so of course he’s not afraid of them. Bro likes them so much that he doesn’t know if the one piece is better or if beetles are better 😭

- luffy was rambling to you about the various different types of beetles, and which ones were the strongest in fights. He was giving you the WHOLE lowdown, their stats, weaknesses, special skills, traits, etc. 💀 you were surprised luffy had this level of knowledge on- anything really

- “Yeah so the atlas beetle can DEFINITELY take down the rhino beetle because of its really tough shell and- OH MY GOD-“

- “Huh-?! What’s wrong?!”

- “OMG OMG Y/N YOU HAVE AN ATLAS BEETLE ON YOUR HEAD!”

- “Luffy you better be joking. Is it even April yet?”

- “Nono it’s right here see?”

- he pulled it off your head and put it in front of your face. The way you froze, and the way your heart stopped, dropped down to your feet, and then climbed back up 😭

- you couldn’t even scream, you just got up and hauled ass away from whatever that abomination of a creature was

- “Y/n where are you going?! I have to show you how it fights!”

- “I’M PERFECTLY FINE NOT SEEING THAT LUFFY-“

- “But y/n they really like you! You’ve got a rhino beetle on your back too!”

- “WHAT?!”

- you legit stopped, dropped, and rolled 💀💀💀 poor robin was watching the whole thing transpire from really far away so she couldn’t hear the context of what the hell was happening 😭

a/n - bro I missed writing these. I’m a bit rusty tho 😂

#one piece #one piece x reader #anime hcs #one piece hcs #robin one piece #crocodile x y/n #crocodile x reader #crocodile one piece #sir crocodile #op crocodile #crocodile x you #ace x y/n #ace x you #ace x reader #ace headcanons #ace op #ace one piece #one piece ace #fire fist ace #portgas d ace #monkey d luffy #monkey d. luffy #portgas d. ace #portgas ace x reader #portgas ace x you #luffy op #luffy x reader #one piece luffy #mugiwara no luffy #luffy x y/n

[mysumeow]

My ears! Why won't you pet them? 1/2❜

Summary: Tighnari is used to the attention his fox features bring to him. Your apparent indifference to them makes him wonder: why's that?

Warnings: Tighnari calls reader a lummox once? Could that be considered some warning? IDK. All fluff. Gender neutral for body and pronouns.

a/n: writing this healed my soul. thinking of fennec boi heals my soul. btw asks and requests are open ^^

NEXT PART

Tighnari is aware of how much his ears stand out.

And it's a no-brainer, they're long and are one of the first things people notice about him, if not the first one.

They're irresistible, he knows, and that's why as long as there is some level of trust, and is asked, he'll allow friends to pet his ears.

He's just wary of fingers straying too close to the tips, he's considerate enough to either request them to stop or move his ears away in a manner that will deliver the message.

Long story short, he wonders why won't you pet them too.

"Looking pretty grumpy right there. Is something wrong?" Collei asked as she opened a window to let some air in.

Already used to Tighnari's mannerisms and whatnot when he's in a bad mood, Collei caught up on it in no time.

"Not at all." if he didn't end it with a drawn out sigh, his lie would've been believable.

"Does it have a anything to do with...you know who?" Collei covered her smile with her hand, but a small giggle still made it through.

Ears as sensitive as the Lead Forest Watcher's would definitely catch on the sound.

"Collei... don't start doing that. You're of a certain age to not act like that–"

"I was joking, okay? Anyway, your favorite–" Collei retracted once she saw the tiny annoyed look Tighnari sent her. "Ahem, your colleague asked me to tell you that they're already in Gandharva Ville and would soon stop by here. To continue...technical research related stuff or whatever you elders have to do."

Tighnari paid no mind to the fact that his subordinate was calling him a fossil and instead began to go through a mental checklist of all tasks that he compromised himself to have ready by the time you came back.

"Uhg. It seems like I have to go back to my office. Some folders are missing. Ah. Collei, did you remember to place the specimens inside the cabinet?" he ran to said cabinet to retrieve the last batch of abnormal floral caused by the remnants of the Withering and set them on the desk. "Wait, I think one's missing," his tail swished relentlessly and his ears twitched.

Unbeknownst to him, the sight of watching him run from one side to another was an amusing one.

"How many times do I have to tell that...lummox to communicate in time before coming."

"Uhm, Master–"

Thanks to Collei, Tighnari was reminded to take a deep breath.

"Yes, what is it?"

"There's a…"

"Sorry to interrupt you, but I think I have to go outside." he was pretty sure that he heard your voice, the distinct manner in which you walk.

Humans don't pay attention to details as small as that one, but his hearing capabilities have shown him that not everyone walks the same. And without meaning to, he has learnt yours.

You were about to knock on the door before Tighnari beat you to it by opening it.

"Hi there. Look who decided to show up." he greeted you and stepped aside.

"Mhm, nice to see you again." whatever you were going to say next vaporized into the humid air of the Avidya Forest once you saw a funny detail on Tighnari's appearance. You tried to stifle your laugh, but it was too late; the observant Forest Watcher noticed it.

"Why are you snickering?" he deadpanned.

"Don't you feel some...extra weight on your head?"

"Extra weight? What do you mean?"

"I tried to tell you before. There's a golden finch perched atop your head."

Deciding to oh, have mercy on this soul, despite still snickering, you reach towards the little bird and try to carry it outside.

Expectedly, before you could do so, the creature flew away.

Not only did you tease him about it for the rest of the day, Collei joined you! So much for wanting to make sure everything was in order for your arrival.

From now on, I'll always listen to what Collei has to say. No exceptions. No interrupting.

He groaned into his pillow, recalling the embarrassment from you seeing him like that.

At the very instance he was about to fall asleep, what felt like an electric shock tensed his body at the realization of your hands proximity to his ears.

They were so close.

He rolled over to the side and hugged his pillow.

He then shook his head.

Come on, why are you giving it so much importance? Get yourself together.

Thankfully, the next morning, he had no recollection of his dream. Otherwise, he would be sheepish at the fact that he dreamt of your fingers caressing his ears, your face nuzzling against his cheek and the soft, tickling sensation that caused.

The day of your arrival was productive for how unanticipated it was. Today, however, research would be delayed as a quick trip to Sumeru City was needed. Some old tools required imperative replacement.

"Are we ready to go back?"

"Everything's in order."

"And why are you heading the opposite direction?"

"I want to visit the Grand Bazaar. I'm craving some biryani. I think it's lunch already anyways."

"Oh. Grand Bazaar," Tighnari's ears lowered. "I wouldn't mind going with you, but my ears are delicate to loud sounds. Grand Bazaar has a nice atmosphere, but I don't think I will be able to stand the noise there,"

"I can cover your ears." you quipped with a smile.

He opened his mouth to answer, then closed it, almost giving in to the suggestion.

"It would be uncomfortable to walk around like that."

"You could carry me on your back," you replied in a playful manner. "That way, I could cover your ears without stepping on your heels,"

"Oh, how thoughtful of you." he jested.

Tighnari assumed you would enter the Bazaar on your own, so he didn't add anything about the topic.

"Here. Have this." you handed him some... noise canceling earmuffs? Specially designed for non-human ears like his?

He tried them on and indeed the noise was more manageable.

That same day, when you both headed back to Gandharva Ville, the other forest watchers wondered why their lead one was in such a great mood.

They saw you walking with him and, without further inquiry, the answer was clear.

#genshin fluff #tighnari x reader #tighnari #/ᐠ - ˕ -マ .. cute cute

[greg-montgomery]

hiya!! this is my first time doing a request or anything like that buttt i wanted to ask if you could do one where the team is put up in a hotel for the night, everyone is sent to their own separate rooms but hotch called them in to his room bc he had some last minute thoughts about the case, right before they all go to sleep and y/n shows up in a cute sleep set and everyone is like oh but don’t say anything. they talk about the case for a bit and slowly everyone heads off one by one leaving aaron and y/n but plot twist she’s been quiet bc she snoozed off in the seat in the corner. aaron wakes her up and she apologizes, they start talking a little and she realizes how tired he looks and she idk gives him a massage on the shoulders, it can have innuendos in there but i mostly want her to take care of him, maybe they fall asleep together or something fluff it up plss 🫶🏽

hii!! <333 you're so sweet for sending to me your first request!! i'm sorry it took me a thousand years lmfao i really really hope you like it!!

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

With your eyes shut and both of your fists rubbing your eyelids softly as if they could take all the tiredness away, you weren’t able to see the looks your current outfit had earned you.

It wasn’t your usual attire for when discussing an unsub’s profile, but Hotch was the one to blame. You were getting ready for bed when JJ knocked on your door and announced that your boss wanted all of you urgently in his room. If he wasn’t your absolute soft spot, you’d be very pissed off about it.

Aaron seemed to have some new ideas about the case, and since the man apparently never slept, he thought all the rest of you would have the same energy as him. And maybe he wasn’t that far off for the others; but you were extremely tired, running only on three hours of sleep.  So you just chose the comfiest looking spot on the couch of Hotch’s room and snuggled with two of the pillows you found there, simply observing the conversation that was taking place and only jumping in for a comment or two. It was already an achievement for you managing to stay awake for an extra hour.

Or so you thought.

“Y/N…” a gentle voice whispered your name. “Y/N…”

The hand on your shoulder shaking you, just as gently, suggested that said voice was trying to wake you up. But you were so comfortable and so sleepy you chose to ignore it. The whispers were lulling you back to sleep anyway.

Before you managed to drift off completely again, the hand moved to cup your face. A thumb was rubbing your cheek as the voice talked to you again. “You’ll hurt your neck.”

You furrowed your eyebrows and slowly blinked, finding the figure of a man sitting next to you. “Hotch?”

“Hi,” he chuckled. “I thought you’d never wake up.”

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” you rushed to apologize. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep here.”

“That’s alright.” He smiled at you.

Aaron was right about the neck thing, you could already feel the pain growing and you used your hand to massage it as you switched to a more appropriate sitting position on your boss’ couch.

“I tried to warn you,” he said, lifting his brows. “I wake up sore from every single jet nap.”

“Yeah, I noticed you couldn’t even turn your head when talking to us the other day,” you giggled.

“Don’t make fun of the elderly,” he scolded you. “I’m actually suffering from the pain."

“I’m sorry.”

You were still laughing so Hotch didn’t look entirely convinced by your apology. “Yeah, I can see how much.”

“Okay, I’m sorry,” you repeated more seriously this time. There was a short pause before you spoke again. “You know…I have a friend that’s a physiotherapist and she’s taught me how to relieve neck pain. I could give you a massage. Maybe it’ll make you feel better.”

He looked surprised by your offer and you worried you overstepped.

“It’ll be my official apology,” you added.

You saw him letting out a heavy sigh and got yourself prepared for rejection, but instead Aaron nodded, “Sure, why not?”

“Nice!” you clapped twice, hoping you didn’t seem overly excited at the thought of touching him that intimately.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t fixated on his large body and broad shoulders. So placing your palms on his toned muscles had your heart racing to the point you were scared he could hear your heartbeat.

Aaron’s heavy breaths when you started massaging his neck sent sparks all over your body. You wondered if he sounded like that during other moments in his life and you had to shake your head to send all the inappropriate thoughts away. Still it was next to impossible not to drool over him; touching him and watching him so up-close.

“Is that nice?” you asked.

“Mhm…”

“You have to be careful of how your posture is when you’re sleeping though. You warned me about it, but won’t do the same for yourself.”

“Maybe we can remind each other,” he suggested.

“Well that sounds like a good idea, but sadly we’re not always together when we’re sleeping.”

“Sadly, huh?”

Your hands froze on his shoulders and you could feel them shaking as Hotch started laughing.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” you said, covering your face embarrassed.

“I know,” he reassured you with a small laugh. He reached out behind him for your hands as his head fell slightly back to make eye contact with you. You were still covering your face, so he grabbed your wrists gently and moved them down. “Hey, it’s okay.”

“No, I’m embarrassed.”

He used his grip on your hands to drag you next to him so he could look at you properly. It didn’t need much effort on his side to make you take a seat by his side. “Why are you embarrassed?”

“Because you’re Hotch.”

“And?”

“And it’s self-explanatory. You either get it or you don’t.”

“I see.”

You sat next to each other in silence for a bit. Embarrassed or not, you didn’t want to go. This side of Hotch was very rare to be seen, and you felt grateful you got to witness him like this for once. You weren’t ready for it to end.

“Should I go?” you asked hesitantly.

“Do you wanna go?”

It took you a few seconds to reply, trying to make up your answer. You chose to be honest. “Not really.”

“Then stay.”

“I might fall asleep on your couch again,” you warned him.

“Hmm…there are worse things that could happen to me I think,” he said holding back a grin, and wrapped his arm around you, pulling you against his chest.

You couldn’t agree more.

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #hotch #criminal minds #hotch 🪐 #ask

[raccoonface]

“New Bodyguard… huh”

Part 2 finally (a little short like Jenna)

Jenna's POV

"Hey Sophie" (her agent)

"Jenna."

"That's me..."

"What is about this photo, and isn't that the new bodyguard I sent out...?!"

"Yeah"

"JENNA."

"The photo only showed us sitting on the couch plus you can barely tell that's me"

"Exactly the press with come to a conclusion that it is you in the photo and rumors will spread"

"We didn't even do anything"

"That doesn't matter, people with make shit up and you can't do anything about it."

"I don't know Soph"

"Well you kind of have to do something about it you can't have Americas 'it girl' have something with somebody and not come out about it"

"Why can't I have a relationship with somebody, why can't I keep it a secret?!?"

"Because people will find out, and will expose you anyway so you might as well come out now."

"What if I don't have a relationship with anyone"

"Then you tell everyone that, just figure it out then come to me."

"Ugh.... Fine I got to go bye"

"By-"

I hung up on my agent because I was pissed, but I had to tell Y/n about this.

“Hey everything all right Jen?”

“Yeah, Y/n everything’s good… other than this photo being out to the public.”

“What photo?”

“This one”

She looked like she just saw a ghost after she saw the photo, but I couldn’t blame her I did too. I couldn’t believe someone would just randomly take a photo of me and her,

Yet again it’s not that suprising because I am Americas ‘it girl’ right now.

“Who did this?!?”

“Idk.. but I think we should talk Y/n, about us”

“About what? About me sleeping over, we didn’t even hold hands or anything..!”

“I-.. I know but I want us to be something”

“Jenna-.. I don’t think that would be professional of us. I mean think about it, I’m your bodyguard”

“I know but you could protect me more efficiently now, you know like day and night type of job”

“I-I…. Let me think about it”

I smiled and ran to give her a hug, before she had to leave. I loved the way she smelt, but it didn’t last long.

“I gotta go Jen”

“Okay…”

———————————————————————

I wanted to stay in bed and forget what happened yesterday but I needed to face Y/n for the answer

So I got up and got dressed just to change again when we get to the studio.

I walked out my door to Y/n standing there by her car waiting for me

“Hey Jenna,”

“Hey Y/n,”

We both greeted each other then she opened the door for me, such a gentleman Gentlewomen

We were both in the car, and she was driving normally but then another car came out of no where and hit us

I was knocked unconscious and the last thing I heard were sirens

———————————————————————

.

.

.

.

.

I woke up in a hospital with my mom beside me

“Oh my god, honey, are you okay”

“Yeah, I’m fine… where’s Y/n? Is she okay?”

“Oh honey I don’t know but I’m sure she’s fine.”

I got up with my mom protesting me to lay back down

“Jenna you need to sit back down you’re gonna hurt yourself more”

“I’ll be fine mom I just have to find Y/n”

I left the room to go to the front desk to ask where Y/n was

“Hello ma’am do you know where a girl named Y/n L/n is?”

“Sorry give me one moment.. are you family?”

“Uhh… yes I’m her wife”

“Okay room 128”

“Thank you”

“You’re welcome honey”

I ran off to where Y/n’s room was hoping she was okay

When I found her room I ran into it and she was asleep laying down

So I went to her bedside glad she was okay and I fell asleep knowing that she was

———————————————————————

Sorry for taking three years on this I was having terrible writers block plus I’ve been dealing with a lot of school stuff. I hope you like this

Btw sorry for lying in the spicy part. It’s the next one that will anyways have a nice rest of your day raccoon faces..!

#jenna ortega x female reader #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x you #ghostface!tara #jenna ortega smut #tara carpenter x reader #wednesday addams x reader #wednesday x reader

[paigeswrld]

Heart of Ice pt. 2

Azriel x Archeron!reader

Warnings: mentions of depression, angst, longing, I think that’s it??

WC: 2.8k

A/N: you guys are all so sweet, thank you for all the love on the first part<3 that was my first time ever writing anything, and when I started writing it I had no plan, just started typing. The fact that I got so much love blew my mind! There will be a third part to this, I think that will be the final part. I decided to just tag everyone that commented..(I’m new to tumblr so idk if it’ll work) Thank you guys for the support! I know I didn’t reply, but I saw every comment and I can’t begin to express how happy it made me to see that people actually liked it??

I’m always welcome to constructive criticism<33

****************************************************

After the night that Azriel promised to help you with your powers, you two spent a lot of time together. He tried taking you to the House of Wind to train, but you refused. You couldn’t stand to be around the others, not yet anyway. So, you began training in the woods.

Today was the start of the second week of training. Like yesterday, you spent an entire hour on silly breathing exercises for the mind, claiming that if you learn to control your mind then you can control your powers. Afterwards was spent doing physical training. With your lack of muscle, even the smallest things left your legs shaking and lungs gasping for air. Luckily, your new fae body had you gaining muscle much quicker than when you were human. Once you were entirely exhausted, he had you work on controlling your powers.

You still hadn’t managed to do more than conjure up a few snowflakes, and when you did manage more than that, you had trouble controlling where it went. Right now, Azriel wanted you to focus on making small, controlled patches of ice using water already in a puddle. It’s easier to use what’s already there then create something out of thin air, he had told you.

“Why do we do this last? Shouldn’t I practice when I have my full strength?” You turn to him after unsuccessfully trying to turn the small puddle to ice.

“If you learn to harness your powers while worn out, it’ll be easier at full strength. Besides, if you're tired, then your powers will be weaker, and there will be less risk of something going terribly wrong. Now try again.” He’s leaning against the tree, a casual day of pushing you to exhaustion.

You huff and turn back to the puddle. Deep breaths Y/N. Focus. It’s just a small puddle, you can turn it to ice. You willed your mind to stay calm, to focus simply on the puddle. You dig deep inside of you, invisible hands grasping the ice inside you and pushing it out, towards the puddle. It didn’t work. You hear a crackling, and a grunt from Azriel. You turn to him, only to find his legs frozen in a chunk of ice.

Never had you seen such shock on his face, which quickly turned to annoyance as he said, "Y/N, get me out of this damn ice."

You tried so, so hard to choke back the laugh that rose in your throat, but to no avail. Soon enough, you were doubled over in laughter. The sight of Azriel, the all mighty shadowsinger, stuck in a block of ice was quite possibly the most ridiculous thing you had ever seen.

Azriel, however, looked far from amused. "Y/N, you need to focus. Melt the ice and then you can laugh all you want, but my feet are getting cold." Even though the shadowsinger tried to look angry, you could still hear the hint of amusement in his voice.

“Okay, okay fine.” You took deep breaths, calming your mind, before putting all your focus on turning the ice to water. You weren’t entirely convinced it would work, considering you couldn’t manage the puddle.

“I’d rather not lose my toes to frostbite, so if you could speed this up, that would be great.”

You sent a glare towards the male. “You know, I could just leave you here. Leave you to find your own way out of the ice.”

He smirked at you, his arms crossed, “You and I both know you’re not going to leave me. We’re miles from home and out of range of Rhys’ daemati powers. You have nowhere to go.”

Story of your life.

With a sigh, you focus again on that stupid chunk of ice. Despite being trapped in the ice, Azriel still thought it okay to taunt you, even though he relied on you to get out of his situation. What a fool. You were beginning to regret letting that stupid, arrogant, handsome male train you…

Suddenly, there was a crack of ice and the splash of water, your shoes becoming soaked.

You looked at Azriel, who was now free of the ice, everything below his knees soaked. Despite the cold of his legs, Azriel was grinning at you. Grinning at you like a madman.

“You did it! You did it Y/N!” He rushed toward you and before you could react, he threw his arms around your waist spinning you around while laughing, “I knew you could do it, I just had to get you mad enough!”

Finally, he put you down, that adorable grin still on his face. You looked at him confused, “What do you mean ‘get me mad enough’?”

“Like most people, your powers tend to react more to negative emotions, including anger. I figured if I was able to annoy you enough, you would be able to use those emotions towards changing the ice to water. I was right.” That smug smirk was back on his face.

Rolling your eyes you said to him, “Does this mean I have to make myself angry every time I want to use my powers?”

“No, but in the beginning, it might help.”

You nodded. What Azriel said made sense. Your magic did tend to act up when you were feeling a negative emotion, like anger or fear. But with that numbness still deep in your heart, it was hard to muster up any emotions, even negative ones. Your time with Azriel was the only reprieve you had from that feeling. With him, the ice caging your heart melted just the slightest bit, slowly melting more and more as the days with him went on.

Finally pulling yourself out of you thoughts, you realized Azriel must be freezing. “We should probably go, wouldn’t want you to get that frostbite you were talking about.” And with that you two were off, back to the city of Velaris.

As you lay in your bed that night, it dawned on you, that was the first time you had laughed in months.

***

As the weeks flew by, you began to master your powers. You could conjure up snow storms in small areas, trap people in ice, throw ice daggers, and that was just the surface, according to Azriel. Yet, you still couldn’t shake the freezing cold that followed you wherever you went, no matter how hot the fire or the amount of blankets you piled upon yourself.

While spending time with Azriel helped tremendously for that numbness that had been plaguing you, it wasn’t the cure. There were days, like today, where it was worse and you couldn’t bring yourself to get out of your bed. Azriel had knocked on your door twice now, but you had simply pulled the covers over your head and attempted to block out any and all light.

Darkness. Darkness was what you wanted. Darkness would welcome you with open arms, it would hold you as you fell back into that deep, dark, bottomless pit of numbing depression. You would stay there forever. If you stayed there, you wouldn’t have to face your sisters again. Or the inner circle. Or the feelings for Azriel that were becoming harder and harder to ignore. None of it would bother you, and you would rather lay here and rot than face those things head on.

To your dismay, the Shadowsinger walked in, creating a crack of light in your dark pit. “What are you still doing in bed? We were supposed to start training 20 minutes ago.”

You decided to just ignore him, pulling the cover farther over your head.

You feel a dip on the edge of the bed. “Did you stay up too late last night?”

Finally, you give him a response, “No.” In fact, you had fallen asleep right after you got home, neglecting dinner and a bath.

He sighs, “Then what’s going on? You need to talk to me.”

You try to come up with an excuse, to think of anything that will get him to leave you alone. You almost told him you had your cycle, but if that were true, he’d smell it on you.

“I’m just… not feeling well today. I think we should cancel training for the day.” Your voice came out muffled by the covers.

“Do you need to see a healer? Are you sick?”

An easy out. “Yes, I’m sick. Nothing serious, just need to rest for a day or two. Then I’ll be fine.” You stayed under the covers, not trusting that you’ll be able to keep up the lie if you look into those hazel eyes.

“When Fae get sick, it’s often very serious. We should probably get you to a healer. I’ll have Rhys get Madja.”

“No!” You sit up all of a sudden, pushing back the covers and your eyes wide, “I don’t need a healer. Please don’t call Rhys in here, or anyone for that matter. I just want to be left alone.” You pick at your nails, not having the courage to look him in the eyes.

Ever so gently, he takes your chin into his scarred hand and brings your eyes to his, “Tell me what’s really going on sweetheart. I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.” Concern laced his features as he looked at you.

You look to the side, struggling to keep eye contact. “I just… I get this feeling sometimes. Where I no longer care about anything. About myself. And I just want to lay in bed forever, in the darkness. It’s like I can’t get myself to feel anything but numb, more so than usual. I don’t want to leave bed, I don’t want to talk to anyone. I used to be afraid of the dark, before the Cauldron, but ever since I was Made it’s the only thing that makes me feel safe, it’s comforting.” You could feel your cheeks turning red at your confession, you’ve never been so vulnerable with someone.

Azriel’s voice is thick with emotion as he says, “And does anything help you to get out of these moods?”

You shake your head.

“Very well.” He stands up and walks out the door, and the feeling of rejection seeps into your bones. You had scared him away. Only a couple minutes later he returns, having changed out of his leathers into a t-shirt and sweatpants. Your eyes follow him as he walks over to your bed and pulls back the covers, placing himself right next to you.

“What are you doing?”

“We will spend two hours here, in this bed, and then we are going to spend the day outside, maybe have a picnic. Is that okay with you?” He settles down into the bed and turns on his side to face you. Unable to find the words, you merely nod your head.

“Good. I know that this is hard, and that being told that it will pass isn’t what you want to hear, but it’s true and it will. Until then, I will be by your side, helping you every step of the way. But Y/N,” you meet his eyes then, and he puts a hand on your cheek, “I can’t fix you, I can only be there to support you. This is something you have to do on your own, nobody else can do it for you. Okay?”

You could almost feel the ice inside your chest melting away. Tears were starting to form in your eyes, and your voice wobbled when you spoke, “Okay.”

A small smile formed on Azriels lips. He pulled you into his arms, and to your surprise, gave you a delicate kiss on the forehead. “Go back to sleep sweetheart, we have a picnic to rest up for.”

As your eyes drift close, Azriels shadows create a veil of complete darkness around you both. It seemed at that moment, something akin to love began to push its way through the ice in your heart, and not once did he mention the chill on your skin, or how his arms seemed to be the only thing that kept it at bay.

***

It had been three months since the day Azriel comforted you in bed. He has continued to do so anytime he found you nestled under the covers, refusing to leave. Some days he would hold you while you told him all of your thoughts, exposing every corner of your wretched mind. Other days you two would stay completely silent, allowing the darkness to be your only source of comfort.

But there was that one day… that one day that Azriel told you everything. He had laid his heart bare for you to see, showing you the darkness that lurked inside. He told you of his childhood, the story behind his hands, the fears and nightmares that still haunt him. The worst one, he had told you, was that voice in his head, his fathers voice, telling him he would never be enough. Telling him nobody would ever love him, for how could somebody love a monster such as Azriel? He wiped away your tears, and you his, as you told him that anyone would be lucky to have him as their own, that they should feel honored. You couldn’t help but see the resemblance… how you both never felt like you were enough. You hugged him tighter after that, and he drifted off to sleep shortly after.

It was that day that the bond snapped for you, as you looked at Az peacefully asleep in your arms. You let out a gasp, not loud enough to wake him. You could feel it then, that golden tether linking you two together for eternity. You couldn’t help but smile at the thought of the male you’d grown to love being yours for the rest of your existence.

There was one problem, you realized. You still hadn’t forgiven your sisters, and they you, and you weren’t sure you ever could. How could you ever get over such a thing? That feeling of love quickly turned to a feeling of dread as you realized, Azriel would have to choose. These people were his family, and even if you were his mate, that didn’t mean he would pick you. You had decided then that you wouldn’t tell him. You knew that if you did, you would lose your mate forever, and you would rather love him as his friend than not get to love him at all.

***

It had been a week since the bond snapped, and you now stood skipping stones in front of a small pond as Azriel tried to convince you to attend family dinner at the House of Wind. He’s been trying to do so for the past couple weeks, claiming everyone wants to see you.

“I’ve already told you Az, it’s too much. What if something goes wrong with my powers again?” Not turning to face Azriel as you threw a stone at the water, sending it skipping across the pond.

You could almost hear the frown in his voice, “You have full control over your powers now, you can’t keep using that same excuse. They all want to see you, they miss you.”

You turned back to face him as your face scrunched up in anger, “Don’t lie to me Az. They don’t know me well enough to miss me. Those that do don’t care about me, they just want me to show up and act like everything is fine so they don’t have a guilty conscience. I won’t put myself through the pain of having to act like I’m okay just to soothe their selfish worries about their character.” You were almost chest to chest with the Shadowsinger, temper rising as you stared him down.

“If you just gave them a chance, Feyre and Elain both ask about you every time I come home, and even Nesta has asked how you are doing. What they did was wrong, but they’re trying to make things better. Shouldn’t you at least hear them out? If not for them, then for you. Give yourself that closure.” You could see the pleading in his eyes, begging you to do this. For you. For him.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say no, not as he looked at you with those big, beautiful eyes. You took a deep breath, closing your eyes before looking back up to him, “Okay. One dinner, and you have to promise that if I want to leave at any point— even if we just stepped foot through the door— you will get me out of there. Deal?”

He put his hands on your waist, pulling you even closer, “It’s a deal.” As you looked at him, triumph written all over his face, you began to wonder if maybe, for a chance at being with him, you could look past all that your sisters had done.

And so it was settled, two days from now you would be attending the Inner Circle’s family dinner.

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Taglist:

@illyrian-dreamer @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @venussdovess @fall-myriad @mischiefmaryon @lana08 @aetherl0l @anniestar2 @nobody00sthings @goldenmagnolias @booksboysandbaklava @letspretendimnottrash @xiangping-28 @nemesis6666 @im-bili @brekkershadowsinger @feyretopia @katcandy @valeridarkness

#azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #acotar x reader #azriel x you #acotar fanfiction #acotar

[spatialwave]

jordan taking care of a sick marie. (can supes get a cold?? idk… anyways 🩵) word count: 819

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autumn had hit godolkin with a vengeance, the trees were pretty and the air left a chill on exposed skin. it was beautiful. what wasn’t beautiful was a cold going around that was hitting some of the students.

they weren’t sure why it was hitting some and not others, but jordan didn’t really care about that. they managed to dodge and weave the bug going around — they were much too busy to get sick.

that wasn’t the case for marie though.

jordan had sent a text to marie earlier that morning, asking where she was. it was unlike her to not meet in the common area of the crimefighting building, it was jordan’s turn to buy them a morning coffee that saturday before they had to do some work as a t.a.

frustrated after a third missed text, jordan held onto the two coffees with a tight grip and began walking out into the open space of the campus with an intense demeanour. you would think that someone pissed them off.

that’s when they saw emma, their brown eyes widening as they called out, “emma! where the hell is marie?” they asked, lowering their voice in the last sentence as they hustled in her direction.

the blonde looked over at them, having been fully absorbed in the comment section of her most recent upload. she blinked a few times as she watched jordan walking towards her with ferocity, needing to look up just the slightest due to jordan’s height in their male form.

“hey, hey,” she raised her hands, “just because i’m her roommate doesn’t mean i have to be her messenger,” she teased, but jordan’s face reminded her that they weren’t one to mess with, “jesus, dude. she’s got that cold going around. be careful in there, it’s hazardous!” she had to call the last part out because jordan had already started walking away.

with a racing heart and clammy hands, jordan pushed their way past students until they reached the dormitories. the path to marie’s dorm room was one they memorized, taking less then a couple minutes before they were using their foot to kick a few thumps against the door.

“marie?” they called out, putting their ear to the door and giving awkward, tight lipped smiles to students walking by and looking with interest.

“it’s open.” spoke a weak voice from the other side of the door, muffled and cracking. oh god.

jordan had to handle the two coffees in one hand as they opened the door, eyes widening when they saw marie in her bed. she was laying on her side, brown eyes glazed over and a bit red. she coughed, cringing at the pain.

“fuck, marie, why didn’t you text me?” jordan asked her, using their foot to shut the door behind them. as they walked closer to her, their form switched into their female body, expression softening.

“too tired to look at my phone.” she croaked, trying to sit up, but jordan quickly shook their head.

“don’t move. just rest,” they assured her, placing the coffees on the table between the two beds. they turned their attention to her, sitting on the edge of the bed and reaching out with a gentle hand so they could press the back of it to her cheeks, then her forehead, “you’re burning up.” they murmured, frowning.

"is that bad?" she asked, having grown up in a facility, she wasn't used to being sick. maybe once or twice as a teenager. she'd forgotten how awful it felt, how it made your bones ache and your throat feel like it was coated in needles.

"you'll be okay." jordan's voice was full of care as they smiled, wiping some budding sweat off of marie's forehead, "might feel like shit for a couple days, but you'll be okay. i promise." marie gave a weak smile up to jordan, already feeling better in their presence. "i don't want to get you sick."

"who cares?" they quipped back,” let me take care of you." marie didn't answer back, she only nodded.

jordan did exactly what they said they would. they took the day off from their t.a. work and ran around grabbing everything they could find after googling 'cold remedies': chicken noodle soup, orange juice, cold and flu medicine, lozenges, hot tea and a fuck ton of water bottles.

it wasn't until sunday night that marie began feeling better, able to sit up in her bed with jordan as they watched some stupid vought romcom. their hands were intertwined, jordan's hand a bit larger than her own as they held her against their side close to keep her warm.

"thank you." marie whispered, tilting her head back to look up at jordan with a tiny smile. jordan's lips cracked into a smile as they met her gaze, answering with a kiss to her forehead and a gentle squeeze of her hand.

#limoreau #jordan li x marie moreau #jordan li #marie moreau #gen v #idk why i get the ick sometimes when i clarify which form they’re in??? #i find it nice leaving it up to y’all to imagine them in your own way #but idk... i think its cute that jordan would start to be more comfortable around marie in their female form.... im crying #this may be my last post today i am actually very sick skfkdkdk #wordsbyspatial

[davinashifts333]

DATING SONG MINGI PT.1:

⚫️summary; once again, first part to MINGI’s section in the new ATEEZ fics or requests i am taking. this one’s for my new friend @ateezatinyfan 🩷! this is basically what dating idol!mingi would be like as a famous person yourself. STREAM ATEEZ!! STREAM CRAZY FORM!! STREAM THE WHOLE DAMN ALBUM BECAUSE IT SLAPS!!

⚠️warnings; iNsAnE fLuFf, Mingi being Mingi (aka HOT & baby at the same time), smutty topics, swearing, idk tbh, whatever else is in here but if you’re not 18+ YOU SHOULDNT BE HERE ANYWAYS. STREAM CRAZY FORM!!

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-Dating THE BEST RAPPER OF 4th GEN KPOP, the King himself, S O N G M I N G I, the killa of ATEEZ, was something you never expected.

-He always needed attention, whether it be texting updates every 1-2 hours (sometimes even every half hour) because he just missed being around you? Or whether it be you ending up at his dorm & accidentally falling asleep.

-We’re getting ahead of ourselves here, let’s go back to the moment you met. At the yearly [insert award show name here] when you introduced them before their performance & he was insanely flustered going on stage until he remembered he had to put on his stage face & absolutely sent it.

-He had been a longtime Ideal Type for you so, your fans knew from the moment you were asked to announce, that you were super excited to announce ATEEZ as performers. What you didn’t know was that all of ATEEZ already knew who you were, were huge fans of your work & would constantly here updates about you from their little Princess Mingki.

-Mingi legit had NOTIFICATIONS on for your instagram, tiktok, twitter, vlive, etc.

-Yunho had reached out on his personal IG once to ask you to collab but, you didn’t know they had secret personal pages so you simply ignored it, being afraid of it being a bot.

-after ATEEZ gave their usual show stopping performance, you went back out to thank them & one by one they shook your hand & bowed in a sign of respect & acknowledgement of your admiration for them.

-Mingi, being last he held your hand softly & evidently gained a bit of courage since he had placed a soft kiss to your hand which just made the crowd erupt in applause.

-backstage he was being scolded by HongJoong for doing that without notifying you or anyone for that matter until you stepped in.

-“Ani! It’s okay! I found it very sweet. No need to scold him HongJoong Hyung.”

-“Ah! Y/N-ssi, I’m so sorry about that, I don’t know why I did it, I just saw you there & thought it was the perfect moment. I’m so sorry.” Mingi hurriedly apologized.

-You stopped him by kissing his already flustered cheek. A huge ear to ear smile forming on his face as you came down from your tippy toes & the rest of ATEEZ standing there in shock at the event unfolding in front of them.

-safe to say from then on, you exchanged numbers with all OT8 & had a group chat within a week of the award show.

-Mingi would ask you only days later to go on a date & you obviously agreed. He took you to the beach, you had an adorable candlelit picnic & then ended up going to the street market & meeting up with the boys for karaoke.

-after karaoke he drove you home & ended the night with an actual kiss after he had been embarrassed by his members exposing his attraction for you from a long time ago.

-on the drive back to your house you took hum the long way just to talk more & sat out in the car for another 2 hours just chatting & getting to know one another more.

-you were very similar but had keen differences that just made it even more perfect. you were an extrovert & he was obviously an introvert who became extroverted around those he felt most comfortable with, you liked things he didn’t & he respected that & the other way around. but what made him go in for that real first kiss was hearing how passionate & admirable you were about your job, how hard you fought to be in the place you were now & how you would do anything for the people you loved.

-he saw you as a completely different person from what he imagined, better even.

-& he simply blurted out his confession.

-“Well, even though you already heard it from the members, I wanted to say it myself. Yes I have liked you for a long time, how couldn’t I? You are so beautiful Y/N-ssi. So talented, so amazing & I would love to keep seeing you like this, no matter what comes our way. I feel so comfortable around you & I like it & when I like or believe in something I am honest about it.”

-you froze, it was all happening so fast but it didn’t feel wrong, it felt like it was going the way it was meant to go.

-so as he stood with your hands in his, admitting his attraction to you, you decided to do the same.

“Mingi-ssi. I completely agree. I appreciate you telling me yourself too & I want to admit my side as well. It feels right, whatever is going on between us & I have liked you as well for a while. My fans all hear it in interviews & such. You are always who I name as my Ideal Type & I constantly get told why don’t I tell you. Well, I guess I was just afraid of it being a schoolgirl crush. But now, talking to you openly & comfortably, I like you even more. I would love to keep seeing you like this & potentially more.”

-this boys eyes SHONE. you couldn’t tell if it was tears or sheer happiness in them but he was just so precious & handsome & caring how could you say no? plus you had to admit seeing him smile at you with such care made your heart almost burst out of your chest.

-you finally say your goodbyes, even though it was killing you both inside & he drives back to his dorm only for an hour or so later you see a notification on the group chat.

-‘TEEZERS & Y/N-SSI’

-it read “this is how your boyfriend came home.” with a video of him gushing about how perfect & how much better you were now than in his head or just from videos he had seen of you in the past. San sent it, teasing the both of you, which he loved.

-you saved the video & kept re reading the text. ‘boyfriend’ made you giddy. your Idol, your Ideal Type WAS yours. it was crazy how a simply little kiss on the hand had evolved into this.

-from then on, you two were inseparable, always in the news being captured together, or on Dispatch, Enews, etc.

-he constantly has flowers sent to your house to remind you he’s always thinking of you.

-has to ALWAYS have you close by.

-WILL fall asleep on you even if he is damn near 2X your size.

-is always gifting you small things that remind him of you or that he knows you like.

-leave his jackets & baggy shirts over at your place “by accident” but really on purpose because he loves seeing you post instagram stories wearing them.

-posts you on his ‘#FIXON_stagram’ posts but it’s mainly candida or cropped pics where your tattoos (if you have any, nails, shoes, silhouette, shadow, etc. Which both your fans LIVE for.

-you always end up meeting him & the boys at the studio, dorms, bars, or for dinner because the boys love you just as much but definitely not more than Mingi because he’d kill them.

-HongJoong & Yeosang being your closest members aside from Mingi but you loving them all equally.

-Mingi being the definition of “Golden Retriever Boyfriend” & you being his “Black Cat Girlfriend”.

-fans LOVING your relationship & how open & honest you both are in interviews & everything but how private you keep certain things as well.

-MINGI WRITING SONGS ABOUT YOU. YES, THE SONG MINGI, writing about you because he is so head over heels he is already planning baby names 6 months into the relationship.

-you meeting his family 1-2 months in because he just HAS to show you off to them.

-“Y/N-ssi! Mingi-ah has told us to much about you! Welcome come in please! You can call me Eomma Song, please sit, tell us about yourself.” with the biggest most warm smile on her cute little face. You see where Mingi gets his loving heart from.

-Mingis dad pulling him aside to tell him he picked a good one, which Mingi tells you later. (because he can’t hide ANYTHING from you… no literally, he asked you to check a cut on his big toe because he thought it was infected…)

-Eomma Song loving you & being a fan of you herself so much that she asks to take a picture with you so she can frame it. You gladly agree & laugh at Mingi’s 😲 face when he hears her already planning to frame your photo.

-“Eomma! You don’t have a photo with me or my members! I will get you one!” Everyone bursts into a fit of laughter at his subtly jealous remark but he is only joking.

-in conclusion for this part, dating this Princess is a full time job on top of your full time job BUT, you love him so much you can’t help but feel like you’re on cloud 9 anytime you’re with him just like he surely feels with you!

-he is YOUR Princess Mingki & your only.

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A/N; HOPEFULLY YOU GUYS ARE ENJOYING MY ATEEZ DRABBLES SO FAR! WE MADE IT TO 19.4MILLION VIEWS IN 24 HOURS FOR CRAZY FORM!! LETS KEEP STREAMING ATINY!! LETS MAKE OUR BOYS PROUD!!

#davinashifts333 #ateez seonghwa #ateez jongho #ateez wooyoung #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez imagines #ateez yunho #ateez fluff #ateez #ateez reactions #ateez scenarios #ateez x reader #ateez fic #ateez hongjoong #ateez song mingi #song mingi #song mingi x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez x y/n #ateez x you #ateez x gender neutral reader

[thatfuckinjester]

Cw: EDs and Self harm

Many quints in a pack... They can feel each other's pain.... Omega and Aether wondering why it feels like there's needles in their stomach (from Pantom not eating properly).... Wondering why they all the time have headaches... Wondering why they feel burning lines on their arms and legs... Their answers are only answered when they see the new quint and the terrible state he's in...

-🤭

okay putting it under a cut because, like the ask said TW sh and ed possibly also an attempt, please do not read it if it triggers you

so idk if you saw but i made a post about that if there's a few quints in a pack they can feel each other's pain, so i love this idea!!!!

like quints can feel their packmate's pain obviously but a few quints in a pack? they feel each other's pain on another level, if one of them gets hurt the others can feel it too.

so aether quit the band, but before he could announce it he and omega got asked to go help at another church so everyone thought that phantom was only summoned as a temporary replacement, but the ghouls weren't sure, because it takes energy to summon a ghoul.

they got their confirmation about this when a sibling told them that imperator said that phantom is just a temporary replacement, and they ran with it.

it didn't really matter to them that phantom never sat to eat with them, he's going to be sent back anyways.

it didn't matter if phantom looks sick, he's getting sent back anyways.

meanwhile aether talking to the pack on the phone, telling them how he and omega are feeling horrible, they constantly have headaches, it feels like their stomach is eating itself, and recently they started to feel burning lines all over their bodies, omega think that they have caught something, maybe it'll take longer for them to come back. and he also always asks about phantom, how is he, how is he adjusting, the pack always says that he's fine.

it didn't matter if they haven't seen phantom for days, maybe he got sent back and then he's not their responsibility. not that he was their responsibility at all, he's getting sent back, why would they care?

they didn't have any problem reminding phantom that he's just there temporary, he isn't a part of their pack, he doesn't matter.

none of them understand why aether cares so much to ask about his temporary replacement.

and when omega and aether come back because they did help, they did everything they were supposed to, even with the horrible pain, they just wanted to get back home, to get back to safety and get better there.

that's when the pain became unbearable.

the pack have held a dinner party for their return, but they couldn't even stay for the rest of it, the pain just kept getting worse and worse, aether could taste blood in his mouth, before the pain was calling for them.

and that's when omega realized what it was.

omega pulled aether with him, hurried steps as the calling of the pain lead them outside, and that's where they found phantom.

he was laying on wet grass, eyes closed, buggy clothes on, a bat stuffed animal hugged to his chest while blood from his wrist was sipping into it, his other hand to his side, bleeding as well.

this whole thing scared them, shocked them to their core, but what really terrified them was his eyes.

glassy milky eyes, looking without seeing at the stars, the stars reflecting perfectly on the smooth, empty surface of phantom's eyes.

aether was sure they got their too late.

#jester rumbling #lovely 🤭 anon #the loveliest 🤭 anon #ghost #the band ghost #nameless ghouls #phantom #phantom ghoul #phantom ghost #aether #aether ghoul #aether ghost #omega #omega ghoul #omega ghost

[yangbbokari]

An Accepted Challenge

Pairing: Hyunjin x fem!reader Genre: Fluff(for the most part), Angst(duh), High school!AU WC: 0.8k Warnings: character death, tears, yelling, pet names(princess, baby, angel), idk(tell me if i missed sum) Song rec: The One That Got Away - Katy Perry A.N: Don’t blame me, blame the TikTok I saw like 3 weeks ago

Your leg bounced up and down as you waited for Hyunjin at the usual spot. You attempted to ease your mind by pushing yourself on the swing and rubbing your hands to keep from the cold. But it was to no avail.

Just as you were about to lose hope, your boyfriend of 3 years came trudging down the dark path, his shoulder scrunched up to his neck.

He smiled and said, “Sorry, princess. Had to wait for the right time to get out the house. Everything alright?”

You returned his kind smile. “Nothing. Just wanted to see you.”

“Well, you could’ve just facetimed me. We do that all the time.”

“Yeah but I wanted to see you in person. Hold you? Maybe?”

Hyunjin chuckled before pulling you into a warm embrace. It started as a sniffle before you started sobbing into his shoulder. He tried to move to see if you were doing okay but you only held him tighter.

“Baby, what’s wrong. What’s got my princess so upset.” He gently rubbed your back and soothed your hair. “You know you can tell me anything. Only if you want to of course.”

You shook your head. “I-I just really miss you. A lot lately. I don’t know why, I just do.”

A smile spread across his face and his eyes filled with adoration for you, not that you could see. But he’ll tell you later anyways. He softly kissed the top of your head and rocked you back and forth.

When your cries finally came to a stop, you finally looked up at him. “I love you. So so so much.” ~~~ Over the next few weeks, Hyunjin refused to leave your side. Clinging to you like a baby would to a mother. This wasn’t anything new for the two of you but you must admit, it was a bit of a surprise. Usually, you were the one initiating all this cuddles.

You looked up at Hyunjin from where you could see and captured his eyes with yours.

“Hyunnie we’ve been like really close lately.”

“Why? Do you not like it?”

“No it’s not that. I just thought of something we should try.”

He raised his eyebrow questioningly. It sent you into a fit of giggles.

“It’s not anything bad I promise. Just a little challenge and I know you loooooove challenges.”

Your boyfriend leaned down and pecked your lips. “Tell me about this genius challenge of yours.” You smiled widely and Hyunjin raised his eyebrow once again.

“Okay, now I don’t know if I should be fine with this anymore.”

“You should!! It’s a quick challenge, I promise!”

“Okay. Okay! Just tell me already! Quit keeping all this suspense.” He pouted at you.

“You’ve been all touchy touchy lately and I don’t know if you can even keep away from me for a week.”

Hyunjin sat up from his position, holding his hand over his heart. Clearly offended. “Can too!”

“Can not.” You rolled your eyes.

“CAN TOO!!”

“Okay then accept my challenge.”

“Bet.”

“Shake on it?”

“Shake on it.”

You raise your hand, offering it to Hyunjin. He gladly accepts as he shakes your hand.

MONDAY: It was harder than either of you initially thought. Even though you proposed the idea, you must admit, it was a bit lonely without him. Hyunjin on the other hand just missed you.

He thought you were just talking about meeting up in person but you restricted him from texting or calling you either. This was so unfair to him. He just wanted to see his baby. His princess. His sweetheart.

TUESDAY: Tuesday rolled around and he just really wanted to text you. His phone was right there! He grumbled loudly.

In school, you wouldn’t even talk to him. He couldn’t talk to you. You’d just pass him by without a single glance and he felt his heart break. How could you be so cruel?

WEDNESDAY: By now he started getting used to it. Some mutual friends began to think the two of you had broken up. But he reassured them that you hadn’t.

It was getting easier to ignore this yearning feeling but he still missed you. He wanted to hold you. Fuck, talking to you would’ve been enough.

THURSDAY: Seeing you but feeling like a stranger was torture to him. Acknowledge him please. Anything!

Quit acting like he didn’t exist!

Now you weren’t even coming to school so he couldn’t even see you. This sucked. He should’ve never accepted the challenge. But he had to stand tall and prove you wrong.

FRIDAY: He felt like a zombie. Just moping from day to day now. He didn’t expect it to be this hard. Things like this were so much easier when he was younger.

He could go a whole summer without talking to his friends and still be friends the next year. But that was when he was younger. He had to keep conversations with people to keep the bond.

It was driving him crazy. Two more days. Just two more days.

SATURDAY: He began to regain hope. He could finally see you after so long. Well not now at least. But just one more day and he would be able to talk to you and hold you.

Do everything he couldn’t for the past week. He was deprived of you and needed you ASAP. Anything to just be with you.

SUNDAY: HE’S SEEING YOU TOMORROW!!! He couldn’t wait. All the things he could do with you. He’s been waiting forever and he’ll even win the challenge.

He felt so giddy the entire day.He could finally hold his pretty little angel in his arms. Now he even looked forward to the school day ahead. ~~~ With all of his excitement he got ready early in the morning and headed to your house to pick you up. There were white flowers by the door. Your mother must’ve chose a new type of flower to decorate your home.

But when you didn’t come out after 7:43 he got worried. You’d usually be out by 7:30 so where were you.

He went up to your door and rang the doorbell.

No answer.

He rang once more.

The door opened and on the other side stood your mother. Hyunjin smiled brightly as he asked, “Hi Mrs.(l/n), do you happen to know where Y/n is?”

Your mother broke down in tears. “Oh dear do you not know? Wait. Wait here. I’ve got something for you.”

Hyunjin stood patiently at the doorway as he watched your mother disappear back into the house. He was worried. Normally your mother was a very cheerful and welcoming woman. He wanted to comfort her but she left too quickly.

When your mother returned, she held an envelope in her hands. “Here. I think she should explain to you herself.” Hyunjin took the envelope but before he could say anything, he was faced with a shut door.

As Hyunjin walked the rest of the way to school, he excitedly opened the envelope. Inside he found a letter along with a necklace he’d given you for your first valentines together. The necklace of a paintbrush that attached to his matching paint pallet one.

Was this your way of breaking up with you?

He quickly opened the letter to read.

“Hey Hyunnie. If you’re reading this, you probably won the bet. I wish I could congratulate you with a million kisses. You’re an amazing person and an amazing boyfriend. Wanted to let you know before I drop this all on you. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that I’m too scared to tell you. I’m not here anymore. The day I called you to the park, crying, I found out about my condition. All I wanted to do was stay healthy and I couldn’t even do that. I couldn’t even do that for you. I’m so sorry. I wanted to spend my last month with you because I love you so much and I’d want to leave you with the best memories. I gave you that week long challenge so that you wouldn’t have to see me whither away. It hurts so much, Hyun. I don’t want to die like this. I want to be with you and grow old with you. But it just hurts too much. Maybe in another life we could be together. I’m so sorry. I love you so so much. I’m so proud of you. You survived an entire week without me. So continue to do that for the rest of your life. For me please? I don’t want to see you here anytime soon. I really do love you. Goodbye, Hyun.”

Hyunjin dropped to his knees and sobs racked through his body. How could he think so horribly of you? All he thought about was his suffering and never yours. How could he be so selfish? He clenched the letter in his fist as he stared at the sky. Forcing a smile onto his lips.

“I love you too.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A.N. Hello everyone. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed. Hopefully I didn’t break your hearts too bad this time😔 Feedback is greatly appreciated. This TikTok is the culprit of this fanfic

Taglist(dm or send in ask if u want to b added): @jinnie-ret @kai-lee08

#Hyunjin #straykids hyunjin #hwang hyunjin angst #hwang hyunjin #hwang hyunjin fanfic #hyunjin angst #hyunjin x reader #stray kids hyunjin #stray kids hwang hyunjin icons #skz #straykids #stray kids #stray kids angst #skz angst #mumu writes #yangbbokari

[wayvlocks]

Case #143

synopsis: there is a serial killer on the loose and your best friend is the cop in charge of the case. pairing: skz lee know x gn reader? word count: 2.1k genre: thriller au, yandere au, serial killer au warnings: maybe +18? idk, cussing, dark themes, tv news of victims' bodies, fake name, wall pinning, a knife---- if you are uncomfortable with any of the mentioned warnings, please do not read.

A/N: hello, this came to me in a dream after watching case 143 mv 20 times. this will not be a series, but rather just a oneshot? anyway since my brain has been imprinted with this crazy dream of mine - I'm putting it here for everyone to enjoy. :)

There you were, inside your cozy apartment, with your best friend, watching your favorite TV show. Suddenly, breaking news interrupts before your favorite character finishes their joke.

BREAKING NEWS: Killer is still on the loose. Two more bodies have been discovered. New reports on one of the victim's bodies. Gash wounds have been found on the face, with multiple stab wounds to the limbs. An "X" was carved into the victim's chest.

"Oh my god.." You were terrified. You've seen these killings all over TV in the past 5 months, all the same, but they finally reported information on the body after being discovered. You could only imagine how gruesome it would look in person.

"Don't worry Y/n. We will have this case soon I just can tell." Your best friend, Lee know, has been on the force for a year now. Even though he's technically considered a rookie, you know he's the best the team has. He passed his civil service examination with passing colors, he's super smart and always thinking of others. However, you felt that this case he was on, Case 143, is too hard and he can't get any closer to catching the killer.

"Lee Know, it's been five months. Why do I feel like your team can't get their shit together?" You said annoyed.

"Y/n," He chuckled, "I promise we're doing everything we can to catch the guy, okay?"

"Okay" You got up from the sofa and made your way to the kitchen to grab more snacks and a glass from the cabinet. Your phone chimes in the living room, Lee Know picks it up.

"What's the notif?" You asked him unbothered as you pour yourself some water.

Lee Know opens your phone to see a notification from Instagram. It's some random guy looking for "fun". He rolls his eyes, scoffing silently, and opens the guy's account. Single life? College life? Already sounds like dick He thought. Lee Know takes a screenshot, sends it to himself, then blocks the guy and deletes the guy's message the screenshot, and the text he sent himself. Quickly rushing out on the Instagram app, he responds to you, "Looked like it was just a spam text, about a porn site."

You laughed. "Gross I always get that shit. I hope you blocked the number"

Lee Know smirked, not enough for you to notice. "Of course I did."

A couple hours pass by, Lee Know already left your apartment. You’re just sitting on the couch about to wrap up your night and get ready for bed. You decide to check you phone.

You open Instagram to see if your other friends posted anything new today. Then, you see you have a hidden message request. It’s some random guy asking why you block his other account. You don't remember doing this and click the account tagged in the message. Sure enough it is blocked but you didn’t block him…

Lee Know… You roll your eyes. He’s so protective it's hilariously adorable.

It’s been a week since you last saw your best friend and a new episode came out. You call up Lee Know and as he makes his way towards your apartment you get out a variety of snacks for just the two of you. Lee Know arrives, and you rush to get the door as you slip on some fuzzy socks for comfort.

“Hi Y/n” Lee Know smiles.

“Hi Lee Know” you smile brightly, he pinched your cheeks unexpectedly. “Wha-“

“You looked dumb” you rolled your eyes and rubbed your cheeks. “Well it was mean”

Lee Know chuckled at you. “Yeah I’m mean and you’re clueless, so we’re perfect for each other”

“Yeah sure, whatever you say” You respond while flipping the channel to your show.

You and Lee Know are enjoying yourselves. Eating popcorn together and laughing at the wildest scenes on TV. Just then-

BREAKING NEWS: Another body has been found bringing the body count now to 27. The victim was found with his hands bound together and belt markings around his neck, indicating passing by strangulation. The victim has been identified as "Brad Johnson". His last known whereabouts were at a bar where he was said to be meeting a friend. If you have any information regarding his case please feel free to call at XXX-XXX-XXXX.

“Holy shit… that’s the guy who messaged me last night.” You were in complete shock.

“You knew about his message?” Lee Know interrupted your train of thought.

“Yeah he messaged me through another account asking why I blocked him, but then I figured out that ‘spam text’ was about you blocking him”

Lee Know just half ass grinned and rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah… He seemed like a creep to me and I didn’t think you'd want some shitty guy asking you to hook up”

“Well that's sweet of you Lee Know but now I know you’re my secret protector which is hilarious. I can fight myself ya know” You laughed at him. He looked serious though, like almost angry with you.

“Y/n there's a killer on the loose, I think I have a right to protect you from random guys. Plus you’re my best friend, I can’t afford to lose you.” You looked straight into his eyes and laughed.

“Okay, okay. But don’t be cringey like that. It’s too funny” You snorted. Lee Know smiled back and started to laugh a along with you.

Suddenly Lee Know gets a call, it’s the Chief. He gets up to walk out of the room for a second. You already know it’s about the case, and most likely information on the recent victim. The news is still on while he’s out of the room. There’s another report.

BREAKING NEWS: An Officer assigned to the case has been found dead in his home. His home was burned to the ground along with his personal key evidence and suspect list.

“Oh my god!” You stood up quickly turning towards Lee Know, who just got off the phone.

“Chief just called… about that,” he nodded towards the TV, “he also said that guy’s body was found a few blocks from your apartment.”

“Fuck…” You start to freak out and shake, biting your nails. Lee Know knows that you only bite your nails when you feel extremely anxious. He walks up close to you and takes your hands away from your face to keep you from biting any further. You look him directly in his eyes.

“How about I stay here tonight with you?” He suggested. “I mean I’m a cop after all and I know with all this news and that the body being found nearby, you’re feeling super tense and scared” He smiled brightly at you, trying to make you feel a little relaxed.

You barely managed to get out your words you were still a little shaky. Lee Know sat you back down on the sofa and turned the channel to some cartoons. “Hopefully they won't do a news segment during cartoons right?” Still smiling brightly at you, then walking away to grab you a glass of water.you we're trying not to bite your nails again, thinking of Lee Know’s smile, and how sweetly he’s taking care of you during what seemed like a possible anxiety attack. When he came back with the glass of water he sat next to you, handing you the glass. Then he reached around you to grab a fuzzy blanket, which he wrapped around your shoulders. He turned towards you.

“It’ll be okay Y/n. I’m here for you, okay? I promise to stay with you tonight if you want me to”

“Y-Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

“Okay, then it’s settled, I’ll sleep on the sofa tonight okay?”

“O-Okay”

After some cartoons and managing to get out a few laughs, you felt better. Eventually you were getting tired and started leaning against Lee Know without knowing it. He noticed this but didn’t mind. In fact, he thought it was cute. You did fall asleep on his shoulder, but then he moved your head to his lap. He started to stroke your hair, brushing it out of your face. Smiling while he stared intently at your pouty face as you slept peacefully in his lap.

I’ve waited long enough. I think it's time. He thought, smiling from ear to ear.

“I love you Y/n”

You woke up on the couch alone. You wondered what time it was, reading your phone it said 3:00AM. But more importantly… You thought, where is Lee Know?

You opened your phone about to text him and ask where he went. The last thing you remember was falling asleep next to him on the sofa during cartoons. Before you could even open the messaging app, you see another news article titled Officers Found Dead. You kept reading…

BREAKING NEWS: The team of officers leading the case were all found dead in their station, and all evidence of the case was burned at the scene. The officers were found after failing to appear for a call about a local disturbance. 6 out of 7 officers on the case were found. New security footage shows the other officer entering the station just before the cameras were shut off, an hour before the team of officers were found dead. Other police suspect that the remaining officer has a possible connection. If you have any information on this man’s whereab-

You scrolled further to see the picture of the suspected officer.

It was Lee Know.

You thought it was completely insane. What possibly happened in the last few hours while you were asleep. You immediately got back on your phone to call up Lee Know. He answered.

“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? A possible suspect? Lee Kn-“ Just then, you heard a light chuckle. It almost sounded close by.

Lee Know sighed. “Ah, Y/n…” You felt an odd presence behind you. You turned around slowly. A tall dark figure appeared out of the shadows of your apartment. Lee Know…

“Finally we can be alone.” He grinned.

“Lee Know, what the hell is happening? You left me alone and all the sudden I wake up to you being a suspect for murder?”

Lee Know stepped closely towards you, the light coming in from the window lit half his face. He looked crazy. He was smiling ear to ear.

“A lot has happened that's for sure. A lot to keep you safe.”

“You sound crazy Lee Know. What the fuck did you-“ He stepped even closer, his face is now completely lit. Blood splatter covered the other half of his handsome face.

“Only what’s best… for us”

You were scared. This wasn’t the Lee Know you knew. His presence was scary, not including the amount of blood on his face.

“Get the fuck away from me” You quickly stood up, backing away from him slowly to reach your room at the end of the hall. His smile grew, like he was a predator and you were his prey. It all seemed so fast, when you tried to run he ran after you, pinning you to the wall.

“Please don’t run from me Y/n. I’ve been protecting you from all those horrible bastards, don't you love me?”

Scared out of your mind as he holds your wrists to the wall, then it clicked. “W-Wait.. y-you…?”

“Mhm” He smiled playfully, tucking his head in your neck. “I killed them all…” He lightly brushed your neck with his lips. “For you,” he mumbled against your neck. It was a chilling sensation.

“You’re fucking insane!” You tried to twist your way out of his grip.

“On the contrary, you've always called me smart” He reached up towards your ear, nibbling at your lobe. Sending shivers down your back he continued, “I mean why do you think I even joined the force? My plan started long ago, a perfect plan to rid of those who stood in my way of you, and what better yet to become a cop myself to cover up anything and keep those dumbass officers in awe every time," he chuckled evilly.

You started tearing up, and suddenly his grip was weak as he laughed maniacally after revealing his plan. You escaped his grip quickly and slapped him hard on his blood-stained cheek. There was a still moment, his hand on his cheek with your hand still in the air. Then, he grabbed your free hand, tossing you to the ground. Lee Know was now standing above you. He reached into his back pocket, grabbed the butterfly knife you never knew he had, and twirled it open, finally pointing the blade down at you.

He squatted down in front of you, the blade still fixated on you. “Why must you be so difficult my love?”

#skz x reader #lee know #stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids fanfic #stray kids yandere #lee know x reader #lee know yandere #skz lee know #skz yandere #case 143 #yandere au #skz ff #stray kids ff #kpop ff #kpop yandere #stray kids oneshot #lee know oneshot

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

idk about u but i nEEEEEED to know more about hobie & miguel's relationship. cus like. it's clear that hobie REALLY distrusts the society, right? from the second miles and him start interacting he's trying to push miles out from it, right? AND YET HE'S STILL THERE !!!!! and you could argue that that's because of gwen, right, and i'm sure that plays a part, BUT !!! him and miguel are STILL ON GOOD TERMS. they BANTER !! he, in some part, likes miguel, despite distrusting the society he leads. WHY !!!!! WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM i gotta know.

I KNOWWWW!! It's such an interesting dynamic!!! And I have a little story in my head of maybe why

Also this is SO LONG sorry

Hobie and Miguel's (working) Relationship -

[a breakdown of my interpretation of Hobie's experience and ranking within the Society]

First for context let it be known that according to the wiki, there are only 280 members of the Society - 90 of which are named so far. 280 out of millions of universes is a SMALL number - Gwen wasn't lying when she said it's a small team, technically that's the truth.

So that could be why the society is so varied - Miguel genuinely only picks Spiderpeople he considers to be either trustworthy, unique, talented, or all three.

He had to have specifically picked Hobie and said 'okay we have to recruit him' KNOWING who Hobie was. So already from the get-go I'm assuming Miguel knew what he was getting into with Hobie but he did it anyway!!!!

Which - is completely understandable. Objectively speaking on-screen we've already seen Hobie display:

Loyalty, Forethought, Technological Ability, Stealth ability, Planning, and Emotional Preparation (of Miles) and Communication.

[Like, his emotional swaying of Miles throughout the movie is..really impressive. I could write a whole thing on that. All I'll say rn: He could have broken Miles out himself, but he didn't. He let Miles free himself. He did that for a reason and that detail shows a lot about his fight against oppression and views.]

I mean - If Hobie is sent on a team mission with people who like him, he is very good at managing team dynamics, encouraging others, mentoring/teaching teammates, and leading others along plans, without being a 'leader'.

(And need I remind you - Hobie also broke a barrier 3 other spider-people couldn't take down, even with their collective strength.)

That implies Hobie is really valuable and really worth the stress to Miguel. Even moreso, knowing about Hobie's beliefs and doubts. Miguel probably knew he was a risk, but saw his work as too good to pass up.

So that means - Hobie had to prove his worth to Miguel at one point!

Which is really interesting, considering the show I've been watching lately (bear with me - pun intended)

So I've been watching The Bear on FX - and there was a scene in the last episode I saw that I think sets a good example:

Long story short - A new trainee chef named Sydney becomes the leader of the kitchen line, and an old time employee, Tina isn't happy about this and tells Sydney to fuck off. Tina's been there decades, and Sydney is now her boss. So the whole episode Tina is cold to Sydney, but she ends up taking on too much work, stressed with Sydney and her new work procedures that seem 'uptight'. But a sauce gets fucked over, and when Tina comes back from putting it in the trash, she sees Sydney has already started the sauce again for her, knowing this would happen when Tina didn't work with Sydney's work flow. And even worse, when Tina puts the sauce in the mash potatoes and tries it, she's like 'Fuck. This is good. This kid is good.' Not only did Sydney think ahead, but she also backed it up by improving the outcome, not just fixing it. And in that moment Tina has to check herself and accept that Sydney is on her shit, even if she's young and a bit abrasive at times.

Do you see what I'm getting at here????!!!

Hobie is Sydney here! The forward thinker!

I could absolutely imagine a situation where everything is going to shit, the society has exhausted all options - even Lyla has no clue what to do. And Miguel opens the floor up to anything, any solution someone can come up with.

And finally Hobie is the only one like 'You have to do X,Y,Z'.

Miguel may ignore him at first, or tell him he can't do Hobie's plan for whatever reason. But in the back of his mind he knows 'shit, that plan is airtight and it's all we've got'. And in the end it just works.

Super realistic to think that maybe the society had an issue or bug at one point with the watches, one tech was trying to fix for weeks. Only for Miguel to find out that not only did Hobie find a solution, but he'd fixed the problem weeks before it'd been on Lyla's radar.

Why? Because he deconstructed the watch the moment he got it. Why didn't he tell them he fixed it? Because Miguel didn't ask.

And it's not because Hobie is smarter than any other Spider-person, they're all smart as hell, it's just he thinks different. Especially in a way Miguel needs.

Maybe sometimes he plans against Miguel, which sucks, but when he's planning FOR Miguel, it's such a valuable asset to the society.

And Hobie doesn't even need thanks because he's fine knowing Miguel knows he's simply that good.

And I think it's pretty known in the Society too.

Interesting side thing: In the scene where Miles gets trapped. The people standing within the circle - Miguel, Jess, Hobie, Gwen, and Peter B. Gwen and Peter B. are there because they know Miles. Miguel and Jess are there because they're the Society administration. Hobie - in contrast, has only met Miles maybe an hour or two before. Why is Hobie there, and why no one is like 'why tf is he in the circle?' - My guess is that no one questions Hobie being there the same reason they don't question Jess being there. They see them both as high ranking, seasoned members, members who are use to putting in input to some degree, unlike say Ben Reilly who is kinda just there as administrative muscle. I think that says a lot about how valuable Hobie is seen - not just by Miguel - both in the field and in the societies ranking.

After a while Miguel probably realized that he needs Hobie and his thinking. He needs someone different. That's why he chooses people like Pavi or Jess, or seemingly random additions like Lego-Spider-man.

Cause they're unique and offer something that the Society could use and out of all the Spider-people out there, Hobie is inarguably one of the most unique - hands down.

I love that at the very least there seems to be a sort of respect there. Miguel isn't all rage. He's a planner too, he manages a whole multiverse and society. He's dedicated to keeping order, and he can see that Hobie is just as dedicated to keeping disorder.

Miguel knows that Hobie may not always do what he wants, but whatever Hobie does do - goddamn he does it fucking well

#AYOOOO new overanalyzation of five minute scenes just dropped #Hobie Brown #miguel o'hara #Spiderman 2099 #Spiderman #atsv #spider punk #spiderpunk #atsv analysis #marvel

[peachyonepiece]

appears looking at you with autism creature eyes. hello @sangerie your vs bros fankids (one of which i had a hand in making bc. glances at the reblogs/notes in @loopyarts post. i have confessed there fskakfafsga) are really really neat .u.

SPEAKING of loopyarts ty for allowing me to take inspo for nijis kids raid suit fit!! i really liked the softer yellow and the thicker lightning bolts on his pants you gave him so tysm for letting me yoink it <3

uh uhh individual pieces and also design/character rants under the cut bc. i wanna.

RAID SUIT RAMBLING TIME bc i spent the most time on those. also you might be asking 'why is only their hair rendered in those pieces?' well the answer is because i am Lazy. moving on . (/HJHJ i AM lazy but also rendering it further would mess up the colors and i didn't wanna do that lmao. carrying on..)

Ichiji's daughter i am so SO proud of her fit. i did not look up a reference or even inspo ideas at all, that all came from the ole noggin baybeee. anyways she is obviously based off a magical girl(s) fit bc she wants and DESERVES to be. also since Reiju doesn't have any kids of her own (based wine aunt) i also decided to let Little Red have some of her motifs instead of just purely Ichiji's!! primarily the 66 on her pants but also all the pink on her instead of just red :) and obviously she has her dads number and while she DOES have a (white? bc like daddy shes a special little princess /aff) cape i didn't include it here bc it looked reallly bad lmao. but she does have one tucked into the bow probably!! there she is, Sparkling Red Neo!!! (get it.. sparkling instead of sparking... bc magical girl.... im funny i think.) onto Little Ocean Boy

OKAY LET ME TALK ABOUT THE MOST MINISCULE YET MOST IMPORTANT DETAIL TO ME AND ME ALONE FIRST. that being the symbol on the brats belt. it was actually inspired/based off of this post which really stuck with me with me after reading it which i later realized was bc the "that something has been completely reversed" REMINDED ME OF THIS POST OF YOURS. i don't think im especially good at theory crafting but. idk i think there could be Something about how after judge came and turned germa into mercenaries their symbol turned from what once symbolized 'purity' into the skull of war mongers and then BACK to purity after 0124 get germa on the right path... poetry or smthn. ANYWAYS yah shoe shiners got a pretty basic fit bc like i said in the og ask, hes a sora warrior of the sea fan, once he saw the raidsuits irl methinks he'd want to stay pretty close to the og design. HOWEVER he refuses to drop the hat (much to Niji's dismay) and i came up with a reason besides 'its one piece and therefore there's GOTTA be a kid with a weird hat that they're attached to': and that is the fact that it hides his eyebrows. Little Red has the curly brows, all of Yonji's cabbage patch does too, and the brats the only one without. even if literally no one else notices or cares, he wants to hide the fact that he doesn't have em because it Separates him. and he doesn't want that. at all. he really, Really wants to be a part of this family (oh no i made it. angsty). ANYWAYS UHH YAYYY HE HAS A TWO ON HIS HAT (that he sewed on himself which is why i made sure you can see the stitch-lines) BC NIJIS HIS DAD WAHOO YIPPEE :D:D:D Dengeki Blue Neo: little shoe shiner edition!!

UHH second image is just a refined piece of that first doodle i sent you. with lineart and a better color pallet and all. actually looking at it again now i realize i forgot little brats freckles and i am now punching the air bc its too late to fix. just act like they're there. please :,,,) edit: nvm its the next morning i fixed that kjahsdah

i don't even have much to say about the last two because i Think i am Rightgksfjgasjkfa but for the third i think the brats a bad influence on Little Red especially. ALSO FOR THE FOURTH NO I DIDNT FORGET ICHIJIS TATTOO. I AM JUST LAZY. (and I also forgot his tattoo :]) ANOTHER edit: i also. fixed this :]

CHRIST i am incapable of contacting you on Tumblr via any way that includes anything less than 250 words i am so sorry sangerie.. i hope you like these tho cause i really do tbh :3 (PS you have to take literally NONE of what I said here [mostly about shoe shiner] as like.. canon about them?? these are YOUR ocs obvi so please, change Little Red's raidsuit design if you find it unappealing!! make shoe shiner have a backstory of your own!!! i hope that isnt weird or rude to say, i just thought it was important too bc i threw sm at you so strongly ^^' okay thats all tysm for reading this it means to world to me byebye <3)

#one piece #vinsmoke ichiji #vinsmoke niji #one piece ichiji #one piece niji #others ocs tag #vinsmoke siblings #my art #im so happy with how the raid suits especially turned out like i can't get over it #i haven't been truly proud of an art piece for MONTHS this is so refreshing #like this aint perfect in a lotta other places but that alone is carrying this for me #also sangerie i am SO sorry if it looks like im virtually stalking you fjagskdakfsfa first the trans vs sisters and now this.. #i promise im not there's just not a lot of ppl in the Vinsmokes tags and you and your stuff is really cool 😭 im normal i prommy /irony #okay ive literally said enough in the post im shutting up now gday or gnight take care #OH WAIT YEAH throwing in a #scopohobia tw #scopophobia cw #bc little brats eyes are borin into ya #OKAY now gday/night <3<3

[golbrocklovely]

this is a reminder to never, and i mean never, send in an ask like this to anyone that writes fanfics:

now, imma be honest with yall, i'm not upset that they called me a "usless slut". tbh it's a first, so props to you for that.

but since we're both being so rude to each other, i figured you wouldn't mind me saying my peace.

i mean, you won't be able to reply, since i blocked you, but you know…. it's rhetorical.

idk how much internet you've consumed over your years of being chronically online, or how much fanfiction has rotted out the empty part of your skull where your brain used to be, but don't ever talk to ppl like that. idk if you thought you were just being funny, or if maybe you've been here before and have talked to me and thought "oh i can say this to her, she'll get it". no, i don't get it. and to be quite honest with you, i don't get how there was ever a thought in your mind that made you think this was totally okay.

what synapse fired in your brain to make you think this was a good statement to say to someone, serious or not? did you actively decide to be dumb today or is it more of a genetic thing?

i say all of this bc i saw your previous ask to me, which was simple and to the point: "plz update the chosen daughter series". that's a totally fine ask to send in. and if that's all you would have sent in, i would have just responded with "hey, i plan to post an update soon, but probably not til after new years". but now, just for you bestie, i'm gonna hold off on posting on that series for a while. i had other things in mind that i wanted to write anyway, but you really solidified my answer.

and i hope now, with you blocked, you have to go out of your way to read the story. i hope you never find out when i update it, and i hope the ending i make for that series pisses you off, just on spite :)

i write fanfictions for fun. it's a hobby of mine, not a job. and i've never promised a schedule of when i update, which is why it has taken me a long time to update any stories or fics i write. asking when i plan to post next is one thing, trying to insult me into posting more frequently is an entirely different thing which has never worked in the history of ever.

also, and i don't ever do this to anyone bc i just find it so asinine and silly, but it's *useless. as in "sending me this ask was useless bc now you're blocked". so…. you're 0 for 2 on that front, anon.

good luck next time tho.

#personal #text #respectfully... if i get a single ask telling me i went too far.... this was just a joke :) just like their statement :)