#ask me about them also feel free to send me fusion asks and One Day ill get to them
IT IS DONE. THEY ARE ALL HERE!!!
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New Pinned Post
I'm no longer in need of back up money, so commissions aren't needed, but if you ever want to commission me, I'm usually open. I also occasionally put some of my art on redbubble.
Anyways, hello everyone, I am too lazy to find my old crack DID pride flag (it'll come up some day and I'll link it here), and I figured I should slowly update some of my intro stuff for this blog after not touching it for a fucking minute.
You can call me Feathers - we're a 21+ year old Buddhist mixed-AAPI intersex nonbinary system (they/them) that is at late stage recovery and regularly floats between final fusion and functional multiplicity (in what we call Wishiwashi Recovery). As a result, we don't always tag which part is out and sometimes tag "alter: fei" which is a short hand for a state of final fusion. Sometimes we might tag which part is dominant, but it's all whatever.
We're diagnosed with DID, C-PTSD, autism, trichotillomania, OCD, and honestly a number of things cause complex-trauma life. We have some physical disabilities but nothing that typically causes too much obstruction in our day to day.
As a result of our state of recovery, we really don't have a set headcount, however we were / are polyfragmented.
Some fun things about us and things you'll see on this blog:
Due to the fact that DID is no longer really that much of an interesting topic / impactful part of our life, we only occasionally post about DID and our experiences with it. While it was the original purpose of this blog, as a depiction of our healing journey and what healing with DID can look like, we decided we would rather just post about whatever sparks joy in our life. As a result, rather than much content on DID, you will likely see things relating to the topics below. PLEASE feel free to send asks about ANY of the topics below. We love to talk about things.
We are Buddhist (primarily non-theistic; Zen) and we really enjoy it. We particularly like the philosophy and do practice it. Admittedly, we identify as being god awful Buddhists, but thats okay cause its part of the process.
We love research and plan to go into it when our ducks are better aligned. We particularly love research and literature around developmental psychopathology, trauma, dissociation, animal behavior, and the more abstract neuroscience topics (particularly consciousness research). We likely won't post much on it as overtly here because I don't enjoy talking science on tumblr much because most people (in my experience) don't actually want to talk about research as much as they want to prove their point. (For the moment, we have a psych degree and work fulltime with autistic children - FUCK ABA ALL MY HOMIES HATE ABA)
We are avid bird watchers and regularly document / photograph the birds we see and upload them to ebird. We really enjoy it as an activity and social engagement and really love sharing that joy and knowledge with people. We actually have a minor in Avian Science and have been tested on North American ID skills. We also know more than we need to about chicken biology as a result of said degree. If you want to send anything about birds, bird watching, or asking for a bird ID (even non North American), they are ALWAYS welcome and you are ALWAYS allowed to tag us in any bird related content.
We do a lot of creative work and have dedicated ourselves (withour writing partner) to a large story world project that we've been writing for over a decade now. We actually specifically started grinding our art skills in 2020 specifically just to help build that world up. Art is one of our largest self soothing coping mechanisms. We are going to turn that story world into a comic and a TTRPG system so please check out @thedevaaffliction.
Overall, we really just like thinking about a lot of topics and things as part of both our interest in research, philosophy, and as part of our Buddhist practice. We don't really find an interest in arguing discourse / syscourse because we really dislike and see very little benefit in debate. That said, we love to discuss experiences, thoughts, feelings and perspectives on complex topics and as long as the intent is to discuss and share rather than to "win" or "prove", we really enjoy that sort of enrichment in our life so we do welcome it. That said, we withhold the right to deem any conversation as more debate than discussion and to abandon it.
Additionally, related to the fifth point, we believe in being fully transparent about our past and admission that we were wrong as we think it is very important to be able to re-evaluate your beliefs and opinions and grow. In our mid teens we actually were pretty far into the alt-right pipeline and until about a year or so ago, we were staunch anti-endos. These days we are basically commies and very pro-endo. If anyone has any interest on how we pivoted so hard in our opinions on those topics, we are more than open to talk and discuss it as well as any insights we pulled from the experience.
Also we love martial arts - I forgot that cause I'm not particularly XIV brained rn but we REALLY enjoy martial arts.
We suck at being labeled and having labels. We're just very very queer.
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DNI:
People who put on their socks/shoes in the order of Sock-Shoe-Sock-Shoe
That's about it. We liberally block, so we don't really worry about DNIs. If we don't like your content for any reason, we will remove it from our dash. Whether or not you want to interact with us is up to you past that point. Generally, we welcome anyone to follow as it can make for good conversation.
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How would you rewrite Junpei and Izumi?
Hi Anon~. Sorry for being late. In truth I’m being late with almost anything you have requested or asked me about because……….I’ve been sinking into the sea of a game and it has been occupying the free time my mind can spend without studying lmaooooo. Anyway, I had written a draft so I’ve corrected it. I hope it’s decent as an answer! I have got so many feelings about a possible rewriting for them🥺. Sometimes I really feel like they are the characters the writers care about the least. BUT DON’T WORRY! I’M HERE, BBIES!
Hm, important note, I won’t really talk about the evolutions because I’m not even a big fan of the evolutions coming after the ones they own. Deepest wish is for them to have a fusion🤫 but that’s another story💕💕.
- I would give them a family bg because that’s the first alarm giving me the impression the writers just didn’t care about them. They are the first characters in the whole Digimon franchise history who don’t have an explained family bg and this breaks my heart, because knowing about a character’s family is useful to understand so many aspects of that character. I would have been okay if Junpei’s parents had never been shown, though. At this point you must know his bios have convinced me this boy either lives with an aunt and uncle or with his grandparents.
- Izumi’s problems with her classmates have to be rebuilt and rewritten completely. I want her to hold in herself a clearer story of xenophobia. I also kinda would desire flashbacks about her leaving Italy, her sadness, her nostalgia; why not, also flashbacks of what her life used to be like in Italy in comparison with the one she’s leading in Japan. It would be cute if one of these flashbacks featured her enjoying italian wind, because ,SERIOUSLY, the bond between the kids and their element need to be explored.
- Junpei is the one who has got the least amount of flashbacks and insights about his life in the real world. I really feel moved about his issues at building relationships and real friends, but I would have adored if they had given a reason why Junpei acts the way he does. Personally, I would have adored hearing Junpei has taken an interest on magical tricks because originally he wanted to get attention from his absent parents. Parents give him so much money so he can buy chocolate, cards, whatever he thinks the other kids like, and they think in this way Junpei can feel loved so he has got a messed up perception of relationships, of the way you can create meaningful links with others etc… Moreover, his attention about magical tricks makes him even a worse student than what he is like and this makes his father or both his parents infuriated, which compromises their weak family bond even more. In this way that frame from the” Innocent” ending scene, which is way too specific in his case for my tastes, could finally get an explanation in the anime.
- Oh yes, I would describe Junpei’s bedroom being messy and full of toys and other stuff he buys to be liked by other kids; stuff the other kids will rarely be interested in; stuff he accumulates, -just like his chocolate-, in his bedroom and will never use. I would like to clarify he eats so many bars because nobody really wants to eat them.
- I would give both Izumi and Junpei a reason to jump on that train or, at least, make them question why they have done it, especially Junpei:
• Izumi might have had a very bad school day, something common for a kid but an experience which is the last straw making the camel’s back break to her. She is sick of her school life. Maybe she has heard that girl she has helped with her foot laughing about her, joining the others in some petty chorus, and this sends Izumi on the edge of tears. She comes back home, puts her pizza in the microwave while she is sadly thinking about what has happened and that’s when Ophanimon’s message makes her phone vibrate.
• In the first 5 episodes Junpei is always like “It’s better if I had stayed at home!”; “I really don’t want to stay in this world!” and then he jumps on the train again and we don’t know what happened in his head. I WISH for that part about Izumi being the reason why Junpei has stayed to remain, but I also would like to make it more meaningful, and not a stupid crush joke. It’s very precious that Junpei felt Izumi was as lonely as him so I wanted this part of his bios to take a consistency in the anime. Probably, I wouldn’t really reveal it that soon. When Junpei is on the train, I would like to see him thinking about his life in the real world, maybe remembering his parents are going to come back too and he will be scolded about his grades. He is not a kid who likes giving voice to his most delicate thoughts, so he would also think about his classmates , wince because of an unexplainable melancholy creeping in his soul, and then look at Izumi. And feel it.
- I’d love making Izumi and Ranamon have wholesome moments too, because Ranamon is the other female presence we need in this season and she didn’t have to necessarily be entirely bad and obnoxious. After some adventure they’d share together, I would love seeing Izumi using her kindness to make Ranamon understand she has got other qualities that are more important than beauty. I would still let Ranamon be annihilated tho… With tears on her face and a smile because now she has understood her true worth and hopefully in another life she will be more sincere to herself. In a nutshell, I would like if if Ranamon got more human feelings. I LOVE RANAMON., okay.
- AGAIN, I’D STRENGTHEN THE CONNECTION BETWEEN THEM AND THE ELEMENTS. Jesus Christ, Junpei’s fear of about thunders and lightning is so pitiful and mocking. Why haven’t they given it a DEPTH. Like you already know from my fics, I’d gladly link it with his loneliness.
- I would rewrite the episodes of Tsunomon and Whamon.
• The Tsunomon episode wouldn’t be focused on only Izumi because her feeling Tsunomon’s isolation is relatable to her has got a very weird execution. I would make it an episode about loneliness in general; about BOTH feeling their loneliness intensely and maybe face each other about it with some flashbacks. Thus, they would reach a first level of mutual understanding and respect, because , after all, like a dear friend said, they are two faces of the same coin and just have to realize it. - The Whamon episode has to be about both as well, because it’s shameful Izumi stood still in a situation that was about her, letting Junpei be her shining knight in armour. You are supposed to be a heroine, girl! Do you want to sit on the stands for the nth episode while Junpei is doing everything and putting his life at stake for your sake? I want her to snap out of her | *shaking voice* “I-If only I could digievolve🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🐑*. I freaking want her to help Junpei gain his control on the Beast like Tomoki did for Takuya, at least. Junpei was going berserk in the original episode too and what helps him gain his control? Remembering he wanted to get Izumi’s spirit back. So I think Junpei would go berserk and she’d help him with her voice, -like Bokomon would suggest-, which would also be a faint hint Izumi has got a tendency to keep control in similar situations as well. Izumi should exploit that feeling of hopelessness she has experienced while being unable to fight to REACT; to start wishing for a sort of “redemption” and get stronger; to discover her strength.
- AND AND AND AND, I would frankly make Izumi pay Junpei back for that, allowing her to rescue him for once. We had got so close in the episode in which Kerpymon steals the kids’ digivices and Junpei is the first one getting his stolen. Shutumon flies to his side and insists on helping him, but Loweemon stops her. WELL, either I’d make Loweemon shut up or I’d turn Junpei in Ranamon’s prince prey in captivity. So, Izumi would finally have someone to rescue and HOPEFULLY she wouldn’t drown lol, because let’s stop making Izumi drown everytime. This would be Izumi’s new evolution moment ✨.
- Finally, I’d make Tsunomon come back because another thing I hate is how they are the ones who have been shafted away in the most embarassing way in the final episodes. You don’t want to make Kokuwamons and Floramons come back? Fine, because those would have been an episode for each. Well, then, make Tsunomon come back, now evolved in Gabumon and make them save what they care about the most, thank you. Two episodes for Tomoki? Now I’m giving you the chance to give Izumi and Junpei a single episode for both.
And that’s it, Anon. I took two or maybe more weeks to write this because my tw friends make me come up with the worst ideas, honestly, and I needed to write them down. I don’t know when I will post this, but I really thank you for the patience💕. I’m sure there would be so many other things I would add, but this post can (not ) be a papyrus. I also want to say I really want to write some of these someday, especially Izumi rescuing Junpei because I want to see him acting miserable in some cage until Ranamon will threaten to drown him while he’s melting due to her Jelousy Rain.
Ah! So much Junzumi in this post hhhh💕💕💕💕
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WIP Update - 6 Dec 2022
Had another nicely productive writing week - I touched 10 fics (6 WIPs & 4 new works) for a total of 2894 words!
On Ao3, I posted Chapter 2 of a Modern No Powers Bucky/Tony roommate fic, a protective Bucky WinterIron ficlet and a Tony POV matchmaking bots = Stuckony ficlet
On Tumblr I posted a Bucky-centric Flash Fiction Friday fill that will lead into my StarkBucks Grease 2/MCU fusion fic (see below)
Am up to 16 active WIPs (with a couple of maybe TBCs) with my current deadlines being the Avengers Bingo, with Man with a Plan, Starkbucks and Hero Hardships coming in close behind!
See below cut for the WIPs (arranged more or less by bingos/challenges/etc) I am working on - feel free to send me prompts or plot bunnies as well as asks regarding any of these projects (or any other WIPs I’ve got out there) – they really help feed the Muse and keep me motivated!
Avengers Bingo [AvB] (Runs thru 24 Dec )
Thirteen fills posted (11 to Ao3) and 3 WIPs - I decided to further challenge myself on this 16-square card by pairing up each square with a unique combo of 2 original MCU Avengers, with the final square being PolyVengers. With the help of the STB Enthusiasts Discord folks - I’ve got all 16 squares planned out, at least in terms of who to write about, and half of them have some sort of idea or crossover square to go along with them. Feel free to toss other plot bunnies my way…
* B3 - Road Trip - Wrote up and posted Sailing Toward a New Horizon to Tumblr. It’s a Thor & Bruce post-Ragnarok ficlet that also filled a Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF177 Expand Through Horizons] Scheduled for Ao3 on 12/19
* B4 - Age Gap - Almost done with Caught By the Rain and Blinded by the Lightning - a Thor/Tony post CA:CW PWP crossing over with TSB One Night Stand. Currently sitting at 960 words with maybe another 200-ish to go & scheduled for Ao3 on 12/23
* C1 - Opposites Attract - Clint/Thor - I really struggled with this one. Last weekend, I wrote about 200 words based on the Tumblr headcanon going around about a Bumbling Foreigner whose ignorance of local customs results in him flirting with/proposing to the prince - but it didn’t jell. Tried a moodboard, but wasn’t happy with that either. Finally approached the prompt from a different angle and ended up with a drabble. Nothing Like Him will post on 12/21.
* D1 - Friends w/ Benefits - Clint/Steve - I’ll be posting Aiming for the Stars on Friday - an AmeriHawk post-mission fic where heavy flirting leads to a fade to black ending. It’s crossing over with my MWAPB Hawkeye/Clint Barton and came in at 720 words. I may continue it if/when I have the smut spoons.
* D2 - Romeo & Juliet AU - basic idea: Steve (jock) & Tony (geek) trying out for title roles in R&J - despite their respective FWB groups thinking it’s a terrible idea. Title: Two Polycules, Alike in Dignity
* D3 - Bed Sharing - posted Finding Refuge here to Tumblr - it’s a Natasha/Bruce fic that is Age of Ultron based (divergent) and also fills the Comfortember Day 16 prompt: Shelter. It is scheduled for 12/12.
Man With a Plan (Steve Rogers) Bingo [MWAPB] (Runs thru 31 Dec)
Fourteen fills, 3 WIPs and several Vague Ideas/potential cross fills with other bingos. Since the event was pretty much abandoned by its creator (life happens, I get it), I’m finishing this pretty much out of stubbornness.
* I1 - Steve is here for TFAtWS - I got Passing the Torch pretty much sorted out - a moodboard for this square paired with a ficlet for my BBB “Oh, hell no" square - Bucky POV (with some extra insider info) of the events where Sam is given Cap’s shield. It’s scheduled for 12/14 and the fic is coming in at 301 words.
* N3 - Online shopping - this might be fun as a crossover with BBB Thighs - see below
* G4 - Canon Divergence post CA:TWS - possible crossover with BBB Kill List – Bucky wreaking havoc on Hydra bases and Steve & Sam catch up with him. Not on my Bingo Attack plan list, so probably won’t get done.
* G5 - Friends to Lovers - possibly combine this with my BBB Free & Stucky Mutual Pining square for the Centerfold fic idea I’ve been rolling around = min 950 words if I finish it before this bingo.
* O2 - Sex Pollen - A Dusting of Trouble is pretty much wrapped up - Steve and Bucky get curious when they lean Teenage Groot’s pollen is an aphrodisiac. Crossing over with SRB - Groot square and currently sitting at 461 words, but will need another scene/200-ish more words if I also want to cross over with BBB KINK:Aftercare square.
* O3 - Hawkeye/Clint Barton - see AvB - Friends w/ Benefits above.
* O5 - FREE - Filling this with Chapter 1 of Never Have I Ever (But I’d Like to With You) - a pining!Steve POV of the team playing NHIE where he manages to get one over on Tony. It’s scheduled for 12/16 and is coming in at 995 words.
StarkBucks Bingo - Round 3 (SBB_R3) - Ends 31 Dec
Twelve fills (11 posted to Ao3), 3 WIPs and several Vague Ideas - soliciting plot bunnies or other kick-starters.
* B1 - “I wouldn’t mind wasting my time on you.“ - Possible crossover with BBB - KINK: Seduction Mission? Not on my Bingo Attack plan list, so probably won’t get done.
* I2 - Mistaken Identity - crossover with TSB K5 - Protectiveness - “The Mechanic, The Soldier & The Artist” - mob/assassin AU with a Mr. & Mrs. Smith twist? Not on my Bingo Attack plan list, so probably won’t get done.
* I4 - Canon: Avengers Academy - will probably do Stuffed Marvels sketches of Tony and Winter, as I know very little about the game/canon. It’s on my Bingo Attack plan list, but at the bottom, so don’t hold your breath.
* I5 - Matchmaker Bots - This was originally going to be filled with Chapter 3 of What Dum-E Knows - where the ‘bot is observing how Ste-V and Buc-E interact with Ton-E, but I ended up writing a Tony POV of what Dum-E actually decides to do about those observations. On Reflection is coming in at 630 words and posted this morning.
* N2 - Blanket - Posted Chapter 2 of Borrowing Trouble on Friday as a crossover with my BBB Funeral and TSB WinterIron squares; it came in at 1187 words.
* N3 - FREE - Working on Hanging By A Moment - (Bucky POV with toy play and Tony as a power bottom) crossing over with BBB KINK: Edging and TSB K3 - KINK: Orgasm Denial/Edging - - currently 390 words (800 minimum needed) It’s all plotted out in my head - I just need to find the time & motivation to finish.
* N5 - “Wanna make a bet?” Used this in combination with the Day 18 Fictober (“I don’t think this is your problem.”) and Flufftober (Soulmate AU) prompts for Marked-Up Soulmarks - a soulmate AU where Tony discovers he and Steve have something (and someone) in common. I may expand on this before posting it to Ao3 and/or claiming it as an official fill. Currently coming in at 418 words.
* O1 - Royalty - crossover with TSB - IronWidow & BBB AU: Arranged Marriage - pick Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion back up - the current chapter is sitting at 595 words and would need to be 800 min to fill all 3 squares. It may not make this bingo’s deadline, but possibly BBB?
*O4 - Time - Filled this with Leading Questions, a WinterIron ficlet where Bucky comes to Tony’s defense during a difficult interview. It also filled the Flash Fiction Friday prompt [FFF176 Like Your Father]. It came in at 393 words and was posted to Ao3 on Monday.
* O5 - AU: Biker - Grease 2 fusion anyone? 😁 I watched the movie a month or so ago and took notes - It’s not gonna be a faithful adaptation, but hopefully fun - had another mini-brainstorm on this that led to last Friday’s No Ordinary Boy ficlet, but that didn’t go far enough into the story to count toward this square. Will post this ficlet on 12/21 and am hoping to get more done before the deadline, but it’s not on my Bingo Attack plan list, so don’t hold your breath.!
Hero Hardships Bingo [HHB] (Runs thru 31 Dec)
Not really expecting to get anything more done on this card, unfortunately. 😔
* O3 - Dating a civilian - this would fit perfectly with another chapter of Takin’ What They’re Givin’ (‘Cause I’m Workin’ for a Livin’) , for which I currently have a basic plot point or two rolling around in my head. I do have about 1000 words on what would be the next chapter of TWTG, so... maybe I’ll whip it into shape and toss it out there? :: shrug::
Bucky Barnes Bingo - Round 4 [BBB_R4] (Runs thru 7 Jan 2023)
Fourteen fills, four WIPs & ideas for everything except one square - Working on a Column B bingo to start.
* B2 - Funeral - see SBB N2 - Blanket above
* B3 - Sam Wilson|Falcon - this would be a good candidate for a continuation of After One Or Two False Starts and is on my Bingo Attack plan list
* U2 - AU: Roommate - Still wanting to use the Meet Ugly prompt: 02. I bought a house three months ago but I’m finally moving in and discover you’ve been squatting because you’re homeless – probably WinterHawk with recovering!Bucky being the squatter in Clint’s apartment building. However, this is not on my Bingo Attack plan list, so don’t hold your breath.
* U4 - AU: Arranged Marriage - will probably pick Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion back up for this one. See SBB Royalty for details.
* U5 - Kill List - see MWAP - G4 - Canon Divergence. Post CA:TWS above
* C2 - “Oh, hell no” -see MWAP I1 - Steve is here for TFaWS
* C4 - KINK: Aftercare - see MWAP O2 - Sex Pollen
*C5 - “This might as well happen” - Used this for the Sept BBB Round Robin (crackfic - Emperor’s New Groove inspired) wrote 276 words toward it. Need to get a mod ruling on whether I get to count it or not sometime soon so I have time to try to re-fill it if needed.
* K1 - Thighs - I have a couple ideas for this… Sam +Steve+Bucky shenanigans (platonic or romantic - not sure) Possibly crossover with MWAPB Online Shopping if I can get it done/meet the word minimum (650 for both)
* K3 - KINK: Edging - see SBB FREE above
* Y2 - Never the fall that kills you - this might be the title for a reverse hanahaki WinterIron prompt from @lacrimula-falsa …. but is not on my Bingo Attack plan list, so don’t hold your breath.
* Y4 - KINK: Seduction Mission - crossover with SBB - B1 - “I wouldn’t mind wasting my time on you.” Not on my Bingo Attack plan list, so probably won’t get done.
* ADOPTED1 - Peggy Carter - Reaching an Understanding posted last Wednesday - a one shot with Bucky & Peggy talking the morning after the CA:TFA bar scene. It came in at 665 words.
Steve Rogers Bingo - Round 2 (SRB_R2) - Ends 31 Jan
Fourteen fills posted & 2 WIPs at the moment – happily accepting plot bunnies here as well.
* A1 - Never Have I Ever - see MWAPB FREE above.
* A4 - Touch Attention/Denial - I have an idea for this that will also fill (heh) my Stucky Bingo KINK - Double Penetration square.
* B2 - Mile High Club - This will be the second chapter of Never Have I Ever (But I Want To With You), picking up with Tony’s POV after the events of Chapter One.
* C4 - Groot - crossover with MWAPB Sex Pollen - see above.
* D2 - Doctor Strange - possibly combine with TSB Tony’s Poor Life Choices for a twist on It’s a Wonderful Life?
* E2 - Comics Nomad Steve - SWC sketch of Nomad!Steve
* E4 - Mental Bondage - crossover with TSB KINK: Concubine - Potential Title My Voice The Chain that Binds You
Tony Stark Bingo - Round 6 (TSB_R6) [Ends 28 Feb]
Fourteen fills and four WIPs at the moment - with Vague Ideas for almost every other square.
* T1 - One Night Stand - see AvB - B4 - Age Gap
* T2 - Doing Groceries - see MWAP B3 - Farmer’s Market - if I can bang out a drabble in time, otherwise will find something else to do with this.
* T3 - Pepper Potts/Rescue - some sort of remix of/inspired by sabrecmc’s Indecent Proposal from Pepper’s POV. At this point, I think I need to re-read the fic & take notes …
* T4 - KINK: Concubine - see SRB E4 - Mental Bondage?
* T5 - WinterIron - see SBB Blanket
*A5 - Scott Lang - @27dragons shared an interesting plot bunny during the Sept TSB Discord party that I may end up using; that or a follow up to A Piece of the Action
* R1 - Tony’s Poor Life Choices - see SRB Doctor Strange above.
* R2 - IronWidow - next chapter of Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion ? see SBB Royalty above
* R4 - Occupational Hazard - banged out I Make Toys (But I’ve Got Aspirations) in one sitting! It’s a ficlet where Tony & Steve are Santa’s elves who hatch a plan to help kids who need something more than toys for Christmas. It is coming in at 333 words and will post on 12/14
* K2 - Secret Admirer - carried this over from last round so I could try my hand a remix of Seeds of Love (WinterIron hanahaki fic by the super-talented @hddnone). Potential title: Wraps Around My Heart, Refusing to Unwind
* K3 - KINK: Orgasm Denial/Edging - see BBB KINK: Edging
* K5 - Protectiveness - see SBB Mistaken Identity
Stucky Bingo Round Four [SB_R4] (Ends 31 May 2023
Seven fills and one WIPs with a couple of other vague ideas.
* B1 - Mutual Pining - possible crossover with MWAPB - Friends to Lovers
* B4 - Artist/Muse - posted A Work of Heart to Tumblr on 10/29. It came in at at 650 words and filled Day 29 of Fictober (”You love this, don’t you?”) , Flufftober (Leaves) and Whumptober (”Better me than you.”) Coming to Ao3 on 12/28
* B5 - KINK: Double Penetration - see SRB Touch Attention/Denial above.
* O4 - AU: Supernatural - got inspired by a dream to start a Stucky fantasy AU (magician!Steve/ensorcelled!Bucky) that @bill-longbow is collaborating on with me. This was supposed to fill my Man with a Plan Bingo Soulmates square, but I ran out of time on that bingo. We’re currently sitting at 1640 words (984-ish of which are mine). Will probably continue on this sometime in January.
Current Last Line: "My men will accompany you back to Brookline in the morning.”
I also adopted the Writing Format: Remix one of your fics square – am thinking of taking one of my Stony or WinterIron No Powers fics and adapting it to a Stucky pairing – if you have any requests - hit me up!
WinterIron - No Powers AU – Stony No Powers AU
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On other creative fronts: I have a Snoopy Stuffed With Character figure in progress - still working on the figures for my three Marvel Trumps Hate auction winners (3 of 7 done so far) – thanks so much for your generous support!! Finally, I am prepping for a superhero con in March - so am pretty well booked up through at least the end of the year.
That said, if you’re looking for one of a kind gifts for birthdays or other celebrations in 2023, check out Stuffed With Character over on Facebook for a full list of my designs (now over 80!). They’re mostly Marvel and monsters, but I have some Star Wars, Star Trek, DC and Disney figures as well. Plus I love to take custom design requests for any fandom!
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hello, everyone! 👋 i have an open collaboration invite for anyone interested in seeing/collaborating on a small, casual, light-hearted, just-for-fun project about haikyuu characters put in the naruto world. (ie. fandom: haikyuu. additional tags: alternate universe - naruto fusion.)
below is an example of what is contained within. these 2 screenshots are from my instagram story promoting a few days ago.
still very much a work in progress, as you can see! feel free to dm me for a commenter’s link to the gdoc, or just send me asks about any headcanons, ideas, and suggestions you may have for the story or any of the characters! if any artist or writer would like to collaborate or brainstorm together, i’m totally down for it! just send me a dm. fair warning: i’m not a plotter at all 😅 i’m really only good at supplementary roles, like editing, sensitivity reading, revisions, fact/background checks, providing ideas, onomastics, character-developing, genealogy-making, pinterest boards, and such.
but hey, let’s see where this takes us!!
other things to note:
NO BORUTO. don’t talk boruto to me.
this doc is written in japanglish. (but the story, if there will ever be one, is fully in english.) if you have difficulty understanding anything, feel free to spam-comment questions as much as you’d like. i won’t mind. this gdoc is meant to be filled. leave your comments anywhere, and i’ll reply.
i need you to be able to separate reality from fiction, and leave your morals at home while in their universe. this au will contain many immoral and unethical and questionable stuff, and our morals and ethics in this world don’t apply in their world, and there will be no addressing these moral issues in-universe. this is not a story about morals and justice and bettering the world. this is a chaotic, aimless, plotless, completely character-driven wasteland full of bloodshed and epic battles and epic fucking and clan politics and fantasy ninjas doing weird shit, and just about the only coherent moral you can take from the story is a solemn “don’t do lava release indoors, kids.” while someone in the background yells “do it! do it! do it right here!”
the hq characters will not be directly integrated into canon naruto clans, but may have relations with them one way or another. hq peeps will retain their original canon family names as their respective clans in this au.
oc’s are allowed, but within reason. i have my oc’s inserted here mainly to fill out the “relatives” section.
if it seems like i pay way more attention to the side & minor characters than to the main characters, yes i do. but you do you. let’s see that creativity in action! 💥
i’ve forgotten most of canon naruto’s plot. i don’t remember anything about the 4(?) shinobi wars. i don’t remember what all the arcs were and how they fall in chronological order. i’ve also forgotten what exactly madara was trying to do, and if he could logically still be implemented into this au or not. although this retelling au will obviously be very different from canon naruto, the timeline will still have the same warring themes and the same hidden villages, so i’ll need someone who does remember about this shit to help me out.
the hidden leaf village is not the center of the world, and also not much in the spotlight in this au. there are also many other human and ninja settlements besides the 5 major villages in canon.
whirlpool country is now part of the 7 major countries of the world, and will not be as totalled as we were told they were in canon. honestly, canon is so ambiguous...
many ships will be sailing (and sinking). but fair warning #2: i hate childhood friends to lovers. feel free to write/art about them in your own spin-offs, but don’t tack them onto the main universe.
none of the canon hq characters will be the villain. they’re all playing for their own sides. i’m still debating on whether or not to keep the original canon villains (akatsuki, paths of pain, 7 swordsmen, sound 4, gold-silver brothers, kaguya, danzou and root, etc.) intact as they were. political conflicts definitely still exist though.
i don’t know what to do with the tailed beasts. what do you think? keep ‘em or scrap ‘em? if keep, give them to hq peeps or they stay with their original canon hosts? what about the kage leaders? i don’t want this to stray too far into crossover territory. this is not a crossover.
i’m not sure whether to set this story right at the vague point in time where naruto’s generation happened, or a decade after, or even a century after?
if you take inspiration from a published artwork/fanfic/any other fanwork, please send the link to it so it can be linked in the gdoc as refs.
there will be further notes and guides at the end of the gdoc for general info, locations, nature styles, statistics summary, and ships/pairings. you can request anything more you want to see.
i’m a lenient person, but i get the final say in everything. don’t get offended.
alright, have fun now!!! 💜💜
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MDZS Prompts Opening Oct 1 2021
All right! I am now moved and still unpacking, but I am mostly on track to finish my current set of MDZS prompts and am therefore tentatively planning to re-open prompts on or around Friday Oct 1 2021.
Prompts will probably be open for only a few hours - an hour or two in the morning and an hour or two in the afternoon/evening (EST) - to avoid getting too many prompts, so that I can open up again in a shorter time. Specific timing will be announced closer to day of.
In an effort to have slightly fewer prompts than last time, a few rules:
Each person should submit no more than 3 prompts. Please submit them as separate asks so that I can answer the prompt with a fic directly.
If you have either a username or an identifying mark (i.e. "space anon", "3 knife emojis", etc.), I will try my best to fill at least one of your prompts, though no promises. Totally anon prompts are also accepted, but may not get priority.
I accept requests for "extras" set in existing fic universes (especially the large ones, like Spilled Pearls), but will probably not write continuations of one-shot fics. Extras can include missing scenes, alternate paths a fic could have taken (i.e. what if X happened at this time instead of Y), or completely different things happening in the same universe.
No smut/PWP prompts - I will open for those prompts at another time.
Please try not to include an entire plot outline with beat-by-beat interactions laid out (i.e. "X does Thing to A and A reacts in this manner and that makes X do a thing and then X and A have a talk in which they get over it"). I love having specific scenarios as prompts, including weird or out of the box ones, but if you lay out an entire epic length series of events, I may not be able to fill it properly.
I generally do not write crossovers (characters from source A meet characters from source B), but I do sometimes write fusions - but only if I know the source material of the fusion. Feel free to ask if you don't know what I do or do not know.
I do write non-MDZS prompts, but please ask in advance if the fandom is one that I'm currently writing in.
Writing Preferences:
I generally prefer prompts focused on the 'adult' cast - Wei Wuxian's generation or the previous generation (Lan Qiren, etc.) - over the juniors or the Yi City crew, although I'm more willing to write about the latter two when dealing with their interactions with regular cast.
I mostly write canon divergence AUs or other types of AUs (trans character, supernatural heritage, secretly-a-X, etc.). I am willing to write modern AUs if they have a specialized genre (i.e. gangster AU), but no coffee shop/high school/regular people just hanging out in an anonymous suburb fic.
I will generally not write stories about infidelity, permanent amnesia, or dwelling on completely unresolved angst. Otherwise, anything goes - I like dark prompts (dubcon, mind control, bad end, power dynamics, etc.) as much as I do fluff or crack, and I accept all pairings, including age gaps, incest, etc. Feel free to send me your weird id fic requests as well as more regular ones.
If you have any questions on what will/will not be allowed - including both general questions and specific "is this OK?" - please send asks this week (9/20) in advance of prompts opening. Thank you!
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deja vu
Summary: part two of drivers license!
Warning: angst
Word Count: 1643 words
let me know if you liked it!
_____
If this was a movie, Y/N would’ve collapsed on the floor, knees hitting the ground as her legs lost the ability to keep her weight up. The corners of her lips would tilt downwards as a fusion of sadness and nostalgia bombarded her at every corner. Tears would collect at her waterline, waiting for the remarkable blink that would send each drop of salty liquid down the apples of her cheeks. Y/N imagined she would call Harry on her phone and scream at him as soon as the click sounded, signalling that he had picked up the call.
Yet as seconds passed by, none of those theatrical episodes happened. Unlike in the movies, Y/N’s physical reactions were minuscule. Her heart ached in her chest. Her throat scrunched like a wad of tissue papers in her hand, drying up with shock and the shallow inhales she let out. The swirling of her stomach increased tenfold as she teetered between feelings of anger and indifference. This should not affect her anymore--or should it? It had barely been a few months since she last saw him and a little bit after when the first photos of Harry and his girlfriend went viral on the internet.
Everyone, especially him, seemed to move on from the relationship that they had shared. Y/N felt like she needed to catch up to him, racing to throw away the feelings she still held for him and to pretend as though nothing happened. But it was easier said than done. There were still endless memories that replayed through her head every time she passed by an ice cream shop. It was a hidden gem, past the popular hot spots. Not a lot of people knew about it because of its distanced location. And as much as Harry was a certified health nut; his guilty pleasure was a scoop of strawberry ice cream--in a cup instead of a waffle cone, of course.
Y/N still remembered those drives-turned-beach-trips. It was mostly during his days off. She and Harry would spend the whole day together, sharing one spoon amongst each other while they passed the cup of ice cream back and forth. The sound of the ocean encompassed them as they lay hidden around an alcove of rocks. It was a secluded area of the beach that Y/N had found way before. The sand was grainy beneath the layer of a checkered picnic blanket that Harry kept at the trunk of his car, their bodies laying on top of it. Eventually, Harry would proceed to just spoon-feed her, ‘accidentally’ nudging her nose with the cold treat.
.
.
.
.
Y/N could feel her shoulders slump at the flashback, body sagging as she sighed at what her phone screen was reflecting back to her. It was her Instagram feed showcasing Harry’s profile. A picture of a haunting landscape was captured by his phone lens; it was the very same beach spot that she had taken him to. Deja vu.
She bit her lip, wanting to smile about how he still visited it even without her. It showed that Harry still kept a memory of her at the back of his mind. Y/N’s heart fluttered at the thought, a sliver of hope shining through the dimness of her days. But it was impossible to keep an optimistic stance when she saw the caption. A simple tag of his new girlfriend’s Instagram handle puckered her lips into a sour expression, brows pinching together in curiosity as Y/N continuously denied the obvious constituent of events.
“There’s no way,” She muttered, breath hitching as Y/N’s thumb hesitated on tapping the bolded font.
There was absolutely no way that Harry would bring someone else in such a coveted spot. It was hers; she found it first and now he was acting as though it did not hold any meaning to her. Not like Y/N didn’t spend the last few days laying on his lap, watching the sunset over the horizon. Harry’s fingers would comb through her tendrils, tucking his jacket tighter around her chin to ensure that she was warm despite him being covered in goosebumps himself. Y/N would look up to see the beginning stubbles of his facial hair as Harry looked ahead, his green eyes mirroring the artistic hues of orange, pink and purple.
“What’s up, Y/N?” Jenny asked, returning from her short trek to Y/N’s small kitchen. One hand was carrying a large bowl of chips while the other held two cans of soda.
Y/N stared at her friend with hesitance. Was it worth bringing it up? She must be sick of her talking about him all the time.
“He brought her to our place,”
It was harder to hear it out loud. She didn’t even recognize her own voice; void of emotion except for a strained sound of pain.
Jenny tilted her head to the side, “Who did?”
“Harry. . .” Y/N cleared her throat before continuing, “There was this place I found in Malibu. At a beach. It’s pretty hidden and I used to go there by myself whenever I needed to think. I took him there. It was our place, you know? Somewhere only the two of us knew and I don’t know,” She trailed off.
“You thought he would keep it between you guys,” Jenny finished off, nodding her head in empathic comprehension.
“Yeah, it just sucks,” Y/N furrowed her brows, staring at the space in front of her as she took in the gravity of the situation. “He even took her to D’Campos,”
“The ice-cream shop?”
She nodded, “It was on her Instagram story today,”
“Forget about him, Y/N. He doesn’t deserve your tears,”
“I’m not even crying,” She chuckled, slapping Jenny’s arm jokingly.
“You look like you’re about to,”
Y/N sighed, “It hurts. Feels like he’s everywhere. Just when I thought I was moving on, he pulls shit like this and I’m forced to remember how good it was between us, you know? I haven’t driven past D’Campos or anywhere else that I might see him because it hurts too much to reminisce what I don’t have anymore.”
It was ridiculous how much Y/N has had to change her routine in order not to feel any more pain. She actively avoided places where Harry frequented in fear of confrontation and also because he might be with his girlfriend. She didn’t know how she could stay stoic seeing their hands clasped together, gazing at each other lovingly when Y/N wanted that from him for herself.
“You’re doing just fine, honey. Do you know who can’t move on? Him.”
“I’m pretty sure he’s doing fine,” Y/N said sarcastically, resting her back on the couch. “Better, even.”
“Uh, I don’t think so,” Jenny argued, “Out of the two of you, who’s the one always going to the places you shared?”
Y/N opened her mouth to answer but a swift hand in the air caused her to halt.
“It’s him, right?” Jenny answered rhetorically. “I do not care what you say; that man misses you and it shows. Harry’s going to where he expects you to be, probably in hopes of running into you. Maybe even because he wants to relive the moments you shared together with her in hopes of him feeling the same way he felt like when he did with you,”
“T-that’s insane. He’s fine without me,” Y/N stuttered out, crossing her arms over her chest in defiance.
“First of all, you are in denial. Secondly, you cannot tell me that he doesn’t. He’s practically doing everything you guys used to do with this new girl. Why? Because he fucking misses you, Y/N. Hell, you’ve even got the same name.”
“It’s just a coincidence,”
“My ass,” Jenny scoffs, “Answer me something, do you still remember how it felt being there with him?”
Y/N nodded, “Always,”
“Describe it to me,”
Y/N squinted her eyes in suspicion. Where was Jenny going with this?
“Uh, as cheesy as it sounds, I felt happy and free. I could talk about anything without being judged. He had a way of making me feel comfortable without even saying anything. When we were together--wherever we were--I could be vulnerable about myself in front of him,”
“Would you do whatever it takes to feel that same way again?”
In a heartbeat, Y/N stated, “Without a doubt.”
“Tell me, if Harry asked you to meet him there right now, would you go?”
Y/N’s breath hitched as she took a moment to process the question. She had just said that she would do whatever it takes to feel the same unconfined emotion again. So why was she saying ‘no’?
“I-I wouldn’t,”
“Exactly,” Jenny concluded with a quirk of her brow.
“You’re gonna have to explain,”
“Gladly,” Her friend quipped. “You want to feel liberated, vulnerable, and honest again but not necessarily with Harry. That place meant a lot to you--sure. But it doesn’t matter. What counts is who you are with. Who’s giving you that type of comfortability that you’re able to be just yourself around them. Do you understand?”
Y/N leaned forward in interest.
“You are well aware of that but you won’t accept it. You won’t go with him because you know that it won’t be the same anymore. That’s the first step of moving on. Once you acknowledge that as much as you miss him, as much as you think you want him to be around, you know better than that. He’s changed and so have you. He’s searching for that same feeling by going back to the places that you used to go to. Thinks he will find it there but--,”
“He won’t.” Y/N finished off. “Because she is not me,”
___
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Thinking about my au where Valentine was "created" by Lord Stoker to be an incredibly powerful weapon he could use to take the vampire throne for himself but then shit happened and today I came up with a storyline for him and Sparky. Also note that this happens after the events of Freaky Fusion
Val and Sparky were at Monster High at the same time and sort of ended up hanging out together simply because people didn't like either of them (for obvious reasons) so they just kind of... naturally drifted together. Sparky ended up finding out about how Val was created in some way and got really interested in getting notes on his creation for his own project. Val ends up stealing a copy; however, he makes Sparky promise to treat his creations better than Lord Stoker treated him. Sparky agrees so everything's all good. They worked (or more of hung out in the lab in Val's case) on the family but Val started to notice how Victor slowly began to have the negative aspects of the Victor from the original book, becoming obsessed with his project to the point that he neglected his basic needs. Val tried to stop him and make him take a break but the way that went down ended up causing Val to go into a coma. The last time Sparky saw him was when Hexicah was carrying away his friend's limp body.
Other notes:
Val had a crush on Sparky but since this is back in his internalized homophobia days he suppressed his feelings towards him. Sparky only ever saw him as a friend and source of information.
Val awoke from his coma completely unchanged from when he went into it about 20 or so years before the events of Why Do Ghouls Fall in Love?
As for Lord Stoker and the woman he sent to look after Val (the one he calls mom in the movie), he found out about what happened from Hexicah and acted terribly upset but understanding of the fact that it was an accident. On the inside he was seething over the time he would lose but decided it was better if Val stayed at MH while he took care of "the Elissabat problem".
If I ever get around to actually turning this au into a fic I very much want to find a way for them to meet again simply because I think it would be fun.
Also please feel free to send me asks or whatever about this au!!! I'm always super excited to talk about it.
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bow down.
pairing — bang chan x genderneutral! reader
genre — modern royalty au, drama-ish, smut; sexual tension-ish, hand kink, brat tamer! chan, degradation, leg humping, humiliation
synopsis — you have eyes. prince bang chan is a whole snack. but you also have too high of an ego and can’t seem to accept that prince chan isn’t full of himself unlike the other dozen members of any royal family you’ve met before. alternatively, this is the disney channel movie ‘princess protection program’ but make it porn only.
note — this fic with a wc of 7k+ does not include any spoilers to the movie and you don’t even have to know what the movie is about you’ll get the gist as you read. ngl half of this is from one of my drafts from like 3 years ago and i never continued it so here i am turning it into filth hahahah (and i needed a fresh idea for brat tamer chan and hence why i think the sfw part is better written than the nsfw lmao) rip also pls accept this as the follower milestone gift and 1 year anniversary special :’)
“I’m pretty sure I asked for a puppy for my birthday — which was three months ago may I add — not for a new roommate?”
You look back and forth between Youngjae and the stranger sitting on the couch who is staring back at you with a curious expression. He looks around your age and you admit, his face isn’t the kind of face that makes you thank your parents that genetics did a decent job on you. It’s quite the opposite, actually.
His face is the type of face that makes you ask your parents why genetics didn’t do a better job on yours. Okay, you haven’t reached that stage of visual inferiority yet but that’s mainly because he is dressed in clothes that were trendy in the 15th century or something. The garments clinging to his skin look like a bad fusion of a suit (which college student wears a suit in their free time?) and the ridiculous costume the marching band at your former high school had worn whenever a football game was up. And those weird golden pins clipped on the blazer makes it seem as if he used to be in the marines or comes from a royal bloodline or—
Oh.
“Don’t mind my cousin, your Highness. (y/n)’s humor has always been questionable.” Youngjae sends you a glare before he puts on his sweetest smile — you know, the act he puts on whenever he tries to negotiate a bonus with his boss or woo his date — and opts to ignore your presence. “Anyway, since we are dealing with a more serious issue at hand than originally expected, we need to give you a makeover to—“
Before he gets to finish his sentence, you violently tug him away from the prince and despite Youngjae thrashing around and complaining, you manage to send the guest a forced smile and leave his vision. The moment you let go of Youngjae in the neighboring room, he readjusts his collar. “What? Couldn’t you have waited once I was done? Also, was it necessary to crinkle my collar this much?” he hisses but you get straight to the point.
“What is he doing here?”
“Uh, sitting on the couch?”
“That’s not what I mean.” you grit your teeth and land a punch on his arm. “What is he doing here?”
Youngjae looks over your shoulder, making sure that what he’s about to say next is only heard by you. “Prince Chan is,” he hesitates, unsure how to approach his topic. You know it’s taking up his last nerves to conclude a logical explanation as the tip of his tongue pokes out of the corner of his lips; a habit he has adapted ever since he stopped chewing on his bottom lip. “The predicament he’s in is worse than we expected. Well, his dad is partially at fault because he forgot to tell us this not-so-small critical detail that—“
“Youngjae, you’re rambling.”
“The point is.” he sighs and gives you a distressed look as if he already knows you’re not going to like the information at all. “We can’t send him to the family in Goyang, the place he was originally going to stay in. He’s one of the more extreme cases and the Board agreed that he had to live with one of the active combatants to ensure his safety.”
Silence engulfs the kitchen and you know he’s waiting for you to count two and two together.
“He’s going to live here,” you deadpan eventually and Youngjae nods in confirmation.
“I know you’re not very happy—“
“Not very happy is underwhelming.” You earn a flick against your forehead and yelp in pain as you over the spot he just hit. “Ow! I was just stating the truth!”
“Will you stop interrupting me? Geez. Yes, I know that you’re not happy at all. I know that you’re not a huge fan of the majority of our family working in this business. But please do me this one favor or so help me God— try to be nice to him for the next year.”
“He’s staying for a year?” you shriek and in the blink of an eye, Youngjae clamps your mouth shut.
“Can you keep it down?!” he whisper-yells, then retreats his hand and reverts to a conversational tone with a frown. “It’s just a year, okay? Y’know, just... say hi to him whenever you see him. Act civilized.”
You grimace as he stresses his last words like you didn’t know what human decency was. The longer you keep the petrified expression on your face, the more it turns into a staring contest between the two of you. Just as if you were each other’s reflection, you mimic his actions and vice versa. When Youngjae squints, you squint. When you shoot him a glare, he returns it. It all boils down to the final blink that Youngjae feints and you’re the first to look away.
“Okay fine! I’ll try to behave,” you mumble in defeat.
A satisfied smile makes its way on Youngjae’s lips. “It’s always nice negotiating with you.”
Being born into a family where the majority works for the royalty protection program (short: RPP or as you like to stylize it: argh-pee-pee), also known as the secret service for people with crowns on their heads, comes with many perks. In your eyes, this privilege comes with many, many downsides that aren’t worth the advantages. Sure, there is the one or other occasion where you can waltz around in fancy evening attire and attend an actual ball, but overall, it’s a pain in the ass.
Even though it’s prohibited to openly declare that you work for the RPP, the news always finds its way out. Usually, it takes approximately a week for pretty much half of the neighborhood to find out. And it certainly isn’t nice hearing whispers about your dad being that guy working for the program whenever you step out of your house, which is ultimately why you moved in with your cousin Youngjae. (Housing in your small town wasn’t really affordable for a dirt poor college student after all!)
Youngjae has always been your favorite cousin out of the... whatever number of cousins you have. But here’s the thing. He also works for the RPP.
However, somehow he managed to — and up to this day it still remains a mystery to you how on earth he did that — keep his job a secret. Especially with his tendency to dish out the worst kinds of secrets when he’s slightly tipsy. Frankly, you once considered printing out the image of a trophy for that remarkable feat.
With your dad and cousin both active in that business (because organization sounds too shady), it’s not the first time you meet a prince, so you already know how the entire thing works. The concept is quite simple; they get sent to a household but before they settle in and take on a fake identity until their circumstances have improved, they undergo a makeover. Most of the time, it ends up in the glow up you secretly crave but in Prince Chan’s case, you suppose he can’t get any more attractive.
Oh boy. You’re in for a ride.
You’re busy slicing bell peppers for the meal you were cooking when both your cousin and the prince enter the kitchen and Youngjae explicitly demands you to pay them attention. You don’t react immediately, but the moment he threatens to swipe the knife away from you, you perk up and set your desire to prepare your fried rice aside.
“(y/n), uh, hi? I’m Bang Chan and I’ll be your new housemate for a year. I hope we can get along.” Chan recites his introduction without any mistakes and earns a way too brotherly pat on the back from Youngjae, considering that they just met this morning. It’s truly amazing how fast Youngjae can get people to warm up to him.
Chan is stripped out of his weird clothes and instead, looks like he threw on the next best thing lying around in his room. Nonetheless, despite the seemingly little effort that was put into the outfit, it looks oddly good. The stylists didn’t seem to do much to his hair and just parted his bangs a little, so one could catch a slight glimpse of his forehead. It’s just a small detail, but you find yourself liking his current appearance much more appealing than before, though you’re pretty sure his clothes played a major part in your previous distaste.
“Remember Jihyo?” Youngjae interrupts your train of thought. “She’s Chan’s relative. And because I’m the genuine friend who loves to help her out, I decided to agree to this after she went down on her knees and begged me to let Chan live with us for a while—“
“I’m not interested in your blown up, fictional background stories, thank you very much.” you backtrack. “Wait. Did you say Jihyo? Seriously? Jihyo is his alibi?” Of course, you remember Jihyo. It’s quite difficult to forget her when Youngjae used to swoon about her at every hour of the day, back when they were a thing. Besides, she still stops by every few months.
“C’mon, you have to admit there is a similar vibe between them!”
You furrow your brows and inspect Chan a second time. Your gaze wanders back to Youngjae and then returns to Chan anew. It’s obvious that the latter is feeling as if he were up for auction and you can’t really blame him for feeling so uncomfortable. You’ve heard from a few friends that if looks could kill, you’d have the highest killing record.
There’s no similar vibe in your view, but for the sake of entertaining Youngjae’s thoughts: “He does seem similar to Jihyo.”
“Told ya. But back to more important matters,” Youngjae coughs and wraps his arm around your shoulder to pull you closer, but it somehow seems as if he’s opting to strangle you. “My duties are calling, so I won’t be back until late. You look like you could need some help with cooking, by the way. I’m sure Chan right here is willing to help you!”
“I’m almost done though—“ you choke when he tightens his embrace. By now, his arm is no longer hugging your shoulder, but rather crushing your throat.
“You look like you could need some help,” he repeats, this time with added urgency. “It’d be a great opportunity for you to bond since you’ll also share pretty much all classes at uni. Did you know, he has the same major as you! Besides, it’d be a very useful life experience for him if he helped you with cooking.”
“Of course, how fun!” you hiss, voice going an octave higher from the lack of oxygen. “I already said that I’m painfully delighted about that, so you can let me go now, Youngjae!”
A sneer and a jab in his arm later, Youngjae finally takes his leave. That nasty liar, leaving an hour earlier than his schedule stated. You know that silently cursing at him isn’t going to make your problems dissolve because that’d be a dream come true.
“Listen, let me get things straight.” you sigh, picking up the knife to resume chopping your vegetables. Youngjae may have ordered you to act civilized, but having eye contact with Chan when you’ve been starving for the past hour isn’t your priority. Food doesn’t make itself. “I don’t have any intention of getting close to you and I expect the same from you. Don’t step a foot into my room, don’t talk to me unless absolutely necessary, and don’t think I’ll run around and do your chores or cook your meals like one of your little servants. Just because you’re a prince doesn’t mean you’ll be treated like one under this roof.”
“We live in the 21st century, not the renaissance. Your idea of royal families is very dated.” Chan chuckles dryly.
“Baron Yoon Jeonghan from the seven islands is a stuck-up prick and out of touch with the world. It took him several visits to the slums, multiple voluntary hours at the kindergarten, and stripping him off his bank card to make him see reason,” you deadpan. Fuck Baron Jeonghan. Just thinking about your first and last encounter with that entitled douchebag almost makes you slice your finger instead of the bell pepper. “Duchess Yoo Shiah threw a hissy fit when she found out her clothes weren’t dry cleaned and bought from Zara instead of fucking Dior. The one who takes the cake when it comes to privilege is Princess Kim Min—”
“Everyone knows they are problematic,” Chan interjects. True, he has a point. There’s nobody out there who doesn’t know about Baron Jeonghan or Duchess Shiah but he’s also missing the entire point.
“And guess who gets stuck under the care of the RPP?” you raise a brow at him. He blanches at the realization as if he got struck with lightning. Perhaps you should give him more credit because he seems to own more brain cells than Baron Jeonghan. “Exactly. Everyone problematic.”
Chan’s jaw is clenched as he racks his brain to come up with a smart comeback. The sight of him stumbling on his words is nothing but pitiful, so you turn back to the cutting board and grab an onion to slice in half. “I’m not interested in your sob story, your Highness. I don’t care why you’re under the protection of the RPP. The only thing I care about is that you stay out of my business.”
“Chan is fine. No need for the title,” he sighs with a strain. “Perhaps I should’ve been more considerate with my first comment. Youngjae already told me about your… negative attitude towards the entire setup. It wasn’t my intention to anger you. Sorry.”
Well, that’s new. Out of the dozens of aristocrats you’ve met (and sadly also shared a house with back when you were 16 years old and still living with your dad), he’s the first to drop his title within five minutes for the sake of the disguise and apologize.
“We live under the same roof so we should get along with each other. If there’s something you need help with, just ask me, (y/n).”
“Thanks for the offer,” you reply nonchalantly because act civilized unless you want to suffer from a late-night sneak attack from Youngjae if he finds out. “But no thanks. I don’t need your help.”
You find yourself in need of help a few weeks later, right before the dreaded exam season.
“No. Forget it, Bam. I’m not going out clubbing with you tonight. In fact, I won’t do that anytime soon.” you let out an exasperated sigh as you try to break down to your friend that you prioritize your grades over his need of getting wasted.
“C’mon!” he whines so loudly that you have to put your phone farther away from your ear. “You’re not in that much stress yet! You have to make the most out of it before you drown in your exams.”
“Things are different for engineering students like, uh, me for example!” you hiss. “I fell behind and need to catch up. Ask Yugyeom or Changbin.”
“First of all, Yugyeom is always at the bar doing his job. And Changbin never picks up his phone. There’s nobody who’d dance with me!”
“You abandoned me at the bar for some chick the last time,” you deadpan. “I’m very sure you’ll find someone.”
Bambam finally gets the gist and gives up. “Fine then. Your loss. Have fun dying in numbers and variables instead of living in the moment. You’re going to regret it—”
You end the call and set your phone on mute before throwing it on the bed. Sometimes you wonder whether you were on drugs when you decided to major in engineering. The longer you stare at the jumble of numbers and letters — some of them in Greek too — the more you think your brain cells are decaying.
That’s how you find yourself in the kitchen, complaining at Youngjae’s expense and telling him how much you’d rather drown in bleach than subjecting yourself to Algebra II.
“You know there’s someone you can ask for help and he’s right here,” Youngjae drawls before chugging down the rest of his beer. If he’s going to be a victim to your temper tantrum about a major that you chose yourself, he might as well get a drink so he won’t go insane from your monologue about numbers and graphs and formulas he’s forgotten since he graduated from high school.
You gawk at him. “You? Are you hearing yourself? You almost failed maths. Twice!”
“Because I didn’t mean myself, dipshit,” he says blankly and his eyes flit over your shoulder, “Speaking of the devil. There comes the man of honor.”
You whip your head back to the door to see Chan enter confusedly. “Uh, did I interrupt something?”
“Yes.”
“No, we were just talking about you!”
You send Youngjae a death glare which he casually shrugs off. “(y/n) here is bitching about her Statistics I class and needs a tutor!”
“It’s actually Algebra II if you bothered to pay attention—”
“(y/n) needs a tutor!” Youngjae exclaims and nearly trips on his feet when he gets up from his chair. “Channie, I heard you’re good with numbers. Didn’t you get accepted into all Ivy Leagues in the States for all engineering programs?”
“You didn’t have to word it like that,” Chan laughs it off and nervously rubs the back of his head. He’s not denying it though.
“Obviously he would. He’s loaded and lives in a castle,” you mutter under your breath, but everyone catches it.
“Hey,” Youngjae warns. “That wasn’t necessary.”
“It’s alright,” Chan says casually. “I just wanted to get myself a snack. But if you have some questions, don’t hesitate to knock on my door. The offer still stands, y’know.” He digs through the cabinet until he finds two packs of the strawberry flavored Pocky knockoff that is 1) apparently his favorite thing to eat and 2) half the price of the Pocky version. He gives Youngjae a thumbs up before he returns to his room.
The moment Chan is out of sight, Youngjae whips his head to you, nostrils flaring. All that’s missing is steam coming out of his ears and his face running red and then he looks like the impetuous brother in every kids cartoon ever. “Really? He’s been staying with us for how long now? Four weeks? Five? Yet you’re still acting as if he murdered you in your dreams or something.”
“I don’t like him,” you state coldly. Youngjae looks like he’s about to rip his hair out.
“Look, I get that you don’t like me being active in this field of work, and I get that you have some hatred against the royal families. But you know you signed up for this when you decided to move in with me.” Youngjae pauses to get a breather and pop a new beer bottle open. “Besides, Chan isn’t like Baron Jeonghan or Duchess Shiah. I have eyes, (y/n), and I’ve seen you two avoiding each other as much as possible. And he doesn’t just laze around — he does the fucking chores and cooks dinner too! Chan is good, (y/n).”
The last words make you snap. “Good? Are you fucking serious? Because that’s why the press in his kingdom is depicting him as a tyrant who cares more about building his sick harem instead of helping the poor. And wasn’t he diagnosed for having anger management issues?!”
All the color leaves Youngjae’s face. This is obviously something you shouldn’t know. While he’s scrambling for words, you take the chance to add, “Dunno why you’re protecting him when he’s making headlines as a prince who can’t keep his dick in his pants.”
“Chan isn’t just a prince,” Youngjae says quietly. “He’s the crown prince.”
Your eyes widen at the confession. “What? Isn’t that even worse with that reputation he has?”
“It’s all propaganda,” he sighs and takes a swig, “The ministers are doing everything they can to finish him off. You see, Chan is the only child of the current king of the seven islands, and if he’s wiped out, it’ll be utter chaos. Chan’s smart and I admit, he used to have anger issues, but he’s worked on them. Though I guess he’s resorted to bottling up his feelings when push comes to pull. The point is, all the higher-ups don’t want him as their future king because they know that Chan is very much capable of pulling through with his own ideas and that doesn’t sit well with them. And a supposedly impulsive future king is the last thing anyone wants, hence why his people are eating up the news.”
“Oh.” you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel an ounce of remorse. However, it’s not the first time you’ve heard such stories.
“Yeah. Oh,” Youngjae mocks, “If that’s the main reason why you don’t want to talk to him, now you know better. He might have power, but he’s not a monster. And for the record, he got into all Ivy Leagues and elite schools all over the world through his intelligence, not his status.”
Although you can see it in his eyes that Youngjae is done with the heated discussion, he’s still waiting for you to say something. You frown. “So… you think he’s a good tutor?”
“He’s your only shot.” Youngjae says nonchalantly, then adds with a warning tone, “But remember: Act. Civilized. Oh, and don’t tell him I told you about his circumstances. It’s supposed to be confidential information.”
You roll your eyes. How the fuck hasn’t Youngjae been busted yet?
Nonetheless, you’re trudging to Chan’s door a few minutes later, your fat binder of incomprehensible math formulas and (Greek) letter heavy in your arm. Chan opens the door with surprise etched on his face after you knocked, but it settles to warmth when you begrudgingly ask him to help you understand Algebra II.
“Sorry, it’s a little messy here,” he chuckles airily once he lets you in. It’s not messy per se, just a few clothes piled up in a corner of the room and some books and messily written notes lying on his bed. Still, it’s by far cleaner than the pig stall that is Youngjae’s room (and yours when you’re having a very bad day).
Chan clears his desk and drags his other chair to the table before plopping down on it. “So, what’s the problem?” Instead of answering, you just shove a sheet of paper up his face. “Y’know, you can talk to me. If this is about earlier, it’s really alright. I’m not mad or anything,” he says with the same friendly tone you’ve been hearing ever since he moved in, yet he still takes the sheet from you. You watch his brows scrunch together the more he reads on, and you can already see the question forming in his mind.
“(y/n), you do know this is the basis to understand—”
“I was absent when the professor covered it and everyone I asked couldn’t quite explain it to me,” you respond before he can finish speaking out his thoughts. “All my friends were like—” you gesture with your hands, “—you just do this and that and then hope your hunch is right. Before you say it, yes I know that I don’t get the material of one entire unit and the exam is two weeks away.”
“Then let’s not waste any time,” Chan says before grabbing his iPad. You stare at him blankly as he writes something on his tablet. The last thing you expected from him was to accept it and try to hammer as much of missing information as he can into your brain, but then again, you’ve never seen him backtrack whenever Youngjae asks him something. Speaking of Youngjae, perhaps he is right. Chan does seem to know what he’s talking about.
“You have to subtract X first, then replace it with Y,” he explains as he circles said letters in different colors. By now, you’ve leaned closer to him to get a better view on what he’s writing (his handwriting isn’t the worst you’ve ever had to decode; refer to Youngjae who you’ve internally awarded with the worst handwriting of the decade).
Chan is exceptionally good at explaining. You feel like you’ve figured out a secret of the world that not even Pythagoras found out as you slowly understand what on Earth you are supposed to calculate with the formula. Chan is patient, always asking if you got it or if you needed another clarification, and takes the time to draw colorful graphs to visualize the jumble of numbers. His voice is pleasing to the ear too, soft and gentle to the point where you’ve blurred everything out except Chan. Chan’s voice. Chan’s hand.
You didn’t mean to stare, but with him always adding something new every five seconds as he goes on with his monologue, you can’t help but do so. His fingers aren’t long — that’ll always be courtesy of Hyunjin from Subway and yes, his very pretty hands might be the sole reason you only insist on going to that one specific Subway at the intersection next to KFC — but just one glance at Chan’s hand and you know that he’s strong.
He’s barely applying pressure to the pen, but you can see the veins slightly protruding. Chan’s sleeves are pushed back and if you move your head a bit, you’re more than certain that veins are bulging out from his forearms too. However, you don’t muster up the courage to do that because Chan will definitely notice and the last thing you want on your platter is to tell him that you were too busy checking out his arms instead of listening to him talk about Algebra II.
Eventually, Chan sets the pen down to stretch his hand. He says something, but you don’t pick up what exactly. Not that it’d matter much anyway since you’re too busy admiring his hand—
“(y/n), you there? I called out your name several times but you didn’t react.” Chan’s breath hitches and surprise flashes in his eyes for a split second when his gaze meets yours. You don’t understand his hesitation, but then horror bubbles in you once you realize that his hand is firmly gripping your chin and keeping your head pointed at his direction. The very same hand you’ve been staring at for God knows how long.
“I’m good. Just a little tired, but I’m good,” you stutter, though it comes out very breathlessly as if you just finished a marathon.
“Tired?” Chan echoes, concern settling into his features. “You should’ve said so, then I would’ve stopped talking. You need something?”
Now that you think about it, you’ve never got a close look at Chan. Sure, he’s handsome, the countless pictures of Google prove that he’s also too photogenic for his own good (goddamnit, why didn’t your parents make you just as photogenic?) but in person, he’s something else. His lips are plush and look very inviting to kiss, and the lower your eyes wander, the more you see a toned chest hidden underneath that damn shit that hugs him in all the right places.
Fine, his hands aren’t the only attractive thing about him. Then again, he’s a prince.
“I said I’m good.” you snap out of your thoughts and finally gather enough control over your nerves to tear his hand away. “And I caught everything you said.” Of course, you know that’s a blatant lie and he knows so too from the way he’s looking at you. That is until he quirks a brow.
“Okay, then what did I say before I called you?”
Your mouth feels dry. It’s almost as if he knew the reason for your distress. “I caught everything relevant to this,” you mutter, suddenly finding his curtains much more interesting. What an interesting design, maybe you should get yourself new curtains too—
“Then you wouldn’t mind solving these questions, right? Just so I can make sure that you got everything down.”
“Sure,” you reply because that’s the only thing you could say without hurting your ego and straining your vocal cords. Chan doesn’t comment any further and looks for some practice questions before sliding the iPad to you. Already the first question makes your head spin in disdain. Numbers? Variables? Never heard of them.
Chan is watching you like a hawk as you fiddle with the pen, unable to write down anything that makes remote sense. Feeling his eyes on you makes you feel helpless and you shift around in your seat. “What are you staring at?” you glare at him once you give up for good, and you just hope that your look is as intimidating as you pictured in your head.
“You’re definitely exhausted. You’re shaking,” Chan points out. Your eyes widen as you stare down and realize that your thighs are shaking, and it’s then and there when you realize that you’re feeling hot. Seems like Chan doesn’t realize that because the worry written on his face is genuine. “You say the exam’s in two weeks right? We can stop for today and work on this tomorrow. That is if you still want my help.”
You nod and add in a tiny voice, “Yes, please.”
You’re too busy ignoring the heat building between your thighs to notice the borderline feral sound that leaves Chan.
“And here I thought you had quality bonding time.” Youngjae gives a disappointed look. “You’re acting even colder towards him than before your exam meltdown. Your prick level can only stoop down so low.”
You ended up getting tutor lessons from Chan every day before the dreaded day of judgment: the exam in Algebra II. You spent more hours in his room than on your own if you were completely honest, and the results were fruitful. While you did manage to pass the exam with a fairly high score, the price you had to pay was hell.
It’s almost as if Chan caught up on your hand fixation. Sometimes he twirled the pen in his fingers, sometimes it was the simple bracelet dangling on his wrist. Just when you thought he had you figured out, he asks you if you’re alright, visibly oblivious to his effect on you. Such duality in a person should be illegal, you conclude. If you die from whiplash, you know who the perpetrator is.
“You were the one who pretty much pressured me into asking him for help,” you drawl.
“I had good intentions only! You can’t keep up the I-hate-royal-families-blah-blah mentality the entire time!” Youngjae wails before stuffing a handful of chips in his mouth.
“Watch me.” You internally cringe at the loud crunching sounds he’s making and add vigorously, “And stop chewing so loudly.”
“You’ll get around or so help me God—” he groans when his phone buzzes. He doesn’t spare a glance at the caller ID because there’s only one person who has set his ringtone to the baby shark song specifically for when he’s calling. “I gotta go, Jinyoung’s being a bitch again. Don’t murder somebody. Thanks.” You only watch him shuffle for his bag and grab a handful of chips before he’s out the door. Groaning, you clean up the mess he’s made on the table.
Just as you’re done wiping the crumbs off the surface, Chan pads into the room.
“Hey, can we talk?”
“I established right at the beginning that you should only talk to me when absolutely necessary.” you scowl, trying to walk past him.
“Well, this is important,” he urges and blocks the doorway, effectively stopping you from fleeing. “And I do deserve one conversation with you after I helped you out.”
“You offered on your own. That’s not the same as asking for a favor.” You successfully push your way past him, but in the next moment, he spins you around and pins you against the wall.
“We’re going to talk, whether you like it or not.” The sudden coldness of his tone has shivers running down your spine. Chan holds your wrist in an iron grip and if he clutched on any tighter, you wouldn’t put it past him to break your bones. Out of options, you comply and give him a curt nod before he lets go and takes a step back.
“I don’t understand you, (y/n). I genuinely thought you would put your prejudices aside but instead, all I get are mixed signals from you.”
It’s your turn to gawk. “Me? Mixed signals? What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about how you keep looking at me as if you want me to fuck your brains out.” If the color hasn’t drained from your face yet, it has now. Chan smiles wickedly at your horrified reaction but doesn’t stop there. “I’m talking about how you talk like you don’t want anything to do with me but act as if you’re begging for my attention.” He takes a step closer to you, and you wish you could morph with the wall. “I’m talking about how you keep staring at my hands and think I don’t notice it.” You wince when he rests his hands against the wall on each side of your face, leaning closer so that you can feel his breath on your lips. “So, you have a thing for my hands?” Bullseye.
“You’re so full of yourself. No wonder your ministers want to get rid of you,” you snap because you’d rather suffer from food poisoning than admitting that you want Chan’s fingers in you.
Something shifts within Chan. He gapes at you, clearly not expecting you to even know about the ministers. His demeanor darkens in a blink of an eye, and you feel like your legs are about to give up on you when you meet his eyes, black and feral.
“You’re playing with fire. Don’t anger me,” he warns, voice low and rough.
“So it’s true that you resorted to bottling up your feelings, your Highness?” you cock your head to the side. Chan clenches his jaw at the mention of his title, struggling to keep his anger in check. You laugh through your nose, then grab one of his hands and force it away from the wall. If he already knows that you’re thirsting after him, might as well go for it. “It’s funny how your ministers aren’t able to string you around like a puppet yet here you are, unable to do anything against a commoner. You know you have nice hands and you know my weakness and yet, you’re not using them on me.” He gulps when you fumble with his fingers.
And then he understands.
“Unless I misread the situation,” he says darkly, though you distinguish the slight tremor his voice carries. “Do you really want this? I’m not going to go easy on you.” Chan is dead serious, judging by the way he’s looking at you expectantly.
“The safe word is petunia.” You don’t take your eyes off him and add in a louder tone, “Now try me, do your worst.”
“You’re going to regret wanting me at my worst,” Chan growls and before you know it, he crashes his lips against yours. The kiss is anything but sweet, more of a clash of teeth and tongues and saliva dribbling down your chins, yet it leaves you boiling hot and wobbly on your feet. He presses you up against the wall and forces his leg between yours, the sudden contact making you hunch forward. You moan against his mouth when he tugs harshly on your hair, the sting making your nerves go haywire. In the meantime, your hands roam his upper body, blunt nails digging into his shoulders as you try to buck your hips against his leg. While he doesn’t budge, you manage to elicit a groan out of him.
When you pull away, you’re both gasping for air. Chan’s hair is disheveled from the way you’ve been pulling on them, lips pink and glossy. One look in his eyes is enough to make your heart stop beating. They’re dark and animalistic and set ablaze with unfiltered lust. You’re such in a daze from a simple kiss that you nearly stumble when Chan drags you to his room.
He manhandles you on his bed with ease before his lips latch on yours once more. You nearly sob when he rids you off your pants, putting pressure in all the right places to have you losing your mind. As you’re about to gain back some dominance in the kiss, he breaks it off. His fingers that were once ghosting over your underwear are now tracing patterns all over the material, making you spasm. “You’re such a brat, all bark but no bite. All it takes is one kiss and you’ve lost all your fight. Can you get any more pathetic?” he mocks as he focuses his fingertips directly on the wet patch of your underwear. Your eyes roll back as he rubs on the same spot, the broken moans leaving you eerily similar to cries. “Don’t tell me you’re about to come like this. How sensitive are you?”
“Am n-not—” you cut yourself off with a whimper when he lets the waistband snap against your skin.
“Yeah, you sure about that?” he grins and that’s when you break, feeling your high approaching at lightning speed.
“Don’t wanna come like this—”
“But I thought you’re not sensitive?” the satisfied grin just widens with every syllable that leaves his lips. “If you don’t want to come like this, all over your underwear, beg.”
Chan applies even more force to your sensitive spots, and you struggle to have a clear thought. The smirk he delivers is lethal, and you couldn’t be any more convinced that he’s the devil’s incarnate.
“I’ll do anything, please. Don’t let me come like this, that’s all I’m a-aah-asking for,” you weep, your blood nearly boiling at its climax, “I’ll even take a punishment!”
“Say my name,” he orders, fingers still drawing circles.
“Your—”
“My name, not my title.”
Your breath hitches as you finally realize what he’s aiming for. He wants you to remember that it’s him who’s reducing you into this illiterate mess. Him, the one you’ve been despising since before you even met. If you still had any ounce of dignity left, you’d try to fix the power imbalance until you’re left with no choice but to obey, but now you’re so close and the last thing you want to do is come with your pants on.
“Please, Chan,” your voice breaks towards the end and in an instant, he pulls away. As you’re letting you’re basking in the break from his brutal tempo, not too affected by how your upcoming orgasm is fading away, Chan observes you.
And then out of nowhere, he flips you on your stomach and delivers a hard smack to your ass that has you screaming into the pillows.
“You said you’d take any punishment too, right?” You twitch as he rubs the small of your back. You can already imagine the handprints on your ass he continued to slap you with such force that has you moving up the bed. The pain that’s going to haunt you for days. Before you know it, you try to arch your back to lift your ass, but then the bed shifts. “But if you really think I’m going to spank you as a punishment, then you’re really fucking dumb. As if I’ll use my hands on you when we both know you love my hands.”
With that, he drops himself on his chair, spreading his legs that you can see the prominent tent forming in his pants. He orders you over with a flick of his finger, and just as you get up from the bed, a new wave of horror flushes over you.
“Crawl.”
The look you send him is priceless. There’s no fucking way you can do it. It’s just a few meters, nothing you can’t handle, but he’s there sitting on his Ikea swivel chair as if it’s his throne made of gold, watching your every movement like a predator. And then there’s you, only in a shirt and underwear, being forced to go on all fours as if you were his fucking dog—
The difference in power display couldn’t get any more visible. He really is the fucking worst.
“You’d really do anything, huh…” he muses as you drop on your hands and knees and crawl to him, never looking up. It’s only when he beckons you to stand up that you look at him with nothing but rage and shame in your eyes. Chan has always been slightly terrified with your death stare but right now, he can’t take it seriously and it shows. It shows in the way he smiles lopsidedly, in the way his brows quirk in amusement. “Now hump my leg.”
Humiliation runs through your body all over. Your fists are clenched as he waits for you to act, even pats his thigh in case you didn’t get the memo. But oh you do, and his thigh does look inviting.
“Hump my leg like the brainless bitch you are. If you want my hands or my cock, you earn it first. Especially since you treated me like shit ever since I moved in.” The last sentence burns you badly because he has a point. But then there’s the prospect of his hands and dick that’s bulging out of his pants.
Pushing all thoughts away, you settle on his leg. Taking a moment to gather yourself, you tell yourself it’s all good and then you move. The first thrust knocks all air out of your lungs and you grab onto his shoulders for support. You didn’t even move that much, but Chan’s looking at you as if he’s about to fucking devour you and knowing that he is very much capable of moving you around, you’re starting to become overwhelmed.
Eventually, you lose yourself in the feeling of his rough jeans against your drenched underwear, humping on his thigh as your orgasm builds up. It’s silent, save for your pants, and the countless whimpers flying past your lips as your movements gradually become sloppier. You’re almost there and you know it. But so does Chan, and the moment he’s got it figured out, he lunges from your hips and forces you to pick up the pace.
“Oh no, you’re going to come,” he growls, ignoring your pleas and sobs. Adrenaline courses in your blood and you know it isn’t long until you fall apart. You try to make him stop, even put your hands on his, but you don’t have the energy to actively push him away.
“Chan, please— I’m gonna—”
“You’re gonna come? Then fucking come on my thigh, (y/n),” he snaps, and then adds, “You hear that? You’re about to come from humping my thigh.”
Maybe it’s the realization that he’s right, maybe it’s the way he’s worded it. Either way, it’s the last straw to make you spasm as you come, soaking your underwear and even managing to make a mess out of his pants. Chan makes sure you ride through your orgasm, only stopping to move your hips once you’re all spent and resting your head on his shoulder. Your eyes are glassy, vision foggy, but the only thing you can envision clearly is Chan.
Chan jolts when your hand grazes over his bulge. You’re about to undo his pants, but he’s quick to stop you and restrict your hands behind your back.
“You think you deserve my cock? Dream on. As if I would fuck any commoner, especially those who don’t respect me,” he spits, and you flinch at his choice of words, clearly recalling that you used the exact same terms and he’s now using it against you. “You said you’d take any punishment. Well, guess what? This was just punishment number one.”
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[My greatest hits]
Main is @darling-dolly-darlene
Zosi sideblog is @zosi-the-church-grim
100+ followers DTIYS <3 ⬇️
I adore asks
Feel free to send in asks and art requests! (Check bio for info on art requests before you send)
DO NOT send requests that aren't about The Glass Scientists! Why does this always happen the is literally a tgs sideblog-
All posts are ask to tag, but I only occasionally actually put the tag "ask to tag" on posts (I do this when I think something should be filtered but I'm not sure whatd it be)
I use tone indicators! Primarily /j (joke) and /lh (light hearted), and sometimes /s (sarcastic). I avoid using genuine because then I'd have to stick that on to every sentence I write bbcjsbbdjks, If you're worried or not sure what I meant in a sentence, you can ask me clarify! ^v^
I like to avoid shipping in my aus, unless the au is centered entirely around a ship, there is no shipping. I do this so people can leave the ships up to their own interpretation, and thus anyone can enjoy the au
I rarely also post general j&h too, you can tell because it'll be given all the appropriate tags, though itll still also be tagged "The Glass Scientists" as tgs is still just a version of j&h
Reblogs are greatly appreciated! Tags or complimenting my art (whether we know each other or not) are highly encouraged!
If a post is tagged "Rest in w.i.p" and has say, 20-30 notes, I'd appreciate if it wasn't reblogged. It's very. Not fun. To see a wip to get twice as many notes as my finished art. You can however, reply! If you really wish to say you like something about it
I have a YouTube, if you wish to see me "draw"
I'm inactive on Discord so I'm like,, constantly afraid someone will impersonate me?? For some reason??? So ye heres my discord info
Block me, friend me, bully me into joining your group (that I'll proceed to never active in) whatever <3
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My Aus 🐺 (I make them in a week and never look at them again <3)
You'll see some have a link called [Main au post] the linked post will share most of the important information, its simply there if you dont want to browse the whole tag for that au
-The Wolf Apple Werewolf: Werewolf au, Jekyll accidentally turned himself into a maned wolf werewolf while trying to make his soul splitting potion. Jekyll hides the fact the he's a werewolf but Hyde doesn't [main au post here] I've been meaning to rewrite it, but eh
Hyde is a Falkland Island wolf, and considering that A: That wolf became extinct 1876 and B: he's a werewolf. There'd definitely be a bit more danger for him at blackfog
(made in collaboration with @ angstspawn25 )
There is a one off au of this, The Wolf Apple Puppy
-Feather Fin au: Siren au! Jekyll is a shapeshifting siren called a Feather Fin, one day he decides to leave the ocean and get a doctorate, somehow this works [main au post here]
Admittedly, I like branches and other versions of this au more than what's here
-Zombie Jekyll au: After Jekyll has his panic at the party he walks home alone and Moreau's creatures kill him. Very sad and tragic probably but really I made this so Jekyll and Zosi could be zombie buddies [main au post here] [reference sheet here]
(Important note!: If you're here from iiredgm's fic on ao3, "Rotten On The Inside (And Outside)" that fic actually differs from what's canon in the au!)
This au has a very strong branch! The "Jekyll hides he's dead au" [main au post here]
-Tgs Fantasy Au: Fantasy au, with story? Probably? Its what I call a daydream au because I can never choose a version of it to stick with. Jekyll is a spider monster with anxiety [Main au posts here and here]
-Dr. John Caught: Fusion au! Again another daydream au [main au post here]
-Porcelain Jekyll Au: You're at the Party by Lemon Demon [main au post here] [design reference here]
-Daylight trio: Oh I guess this is technically an au huh? It's the ship of Jekyll × The Couple [main post here]
-Jekyll with a mustache au: I edit mustaches onto panels of Jekyll from the comic [Main posts here and here]
-Princess Tutu au: Based on the "Princess Tutu" anime, due to how the different pt and tgs are there is no set story for this, mostly fun designs and screenshot redraws [design reference here]
(Important note!: [tumblr] really sucks so my original tag for this, "Princess Tutu au" would bother the normal princess tutu tag. SO! Any new posts will be tagged "Tutu au" )
However, old posts will not be retagged so check both "Princess Tutu au" and "Tutu au" for all the content
-Immortal (and upset about it) Jekyll au: An unrealized side effect of HJ7 was immortality. 136 years after the events of tgs, Jekyll's hating every second of it. Also he has a motorcycle [main au post here]
-Tgs Theater Au: Dr. Jekyll gets invited to be the star of a new mad scientist play! Which, funnily enough, is pretty much exactly the j&h m*sical from real life [main au post here]
-Vampire!Jekyll au: exactly what it says on the tin. Ah hm, the only posts that really explain this is the unfinished au reblogging, ah. [main au post here]
-Peppermint Rot: a fic im currently writing! Its essentially a ghost au [Chapter 1 here] [Chapter 2 here]
-Skyrim au: Jekyll owns the college of winterhold. That's it. This au doesn't even have a name and no one is helping me with it TwT
-Glassrune au: The Glass Scientists × Deltarune, in progress
(There are also multiple "branches" of these aus and some one off aus! AUs written here are just the "main" aus)
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Wanna Be Yours: Ch. 6
I.VI
Masterlist
Warning: rough sexual content, slapping, spanking, and all-around roughhousing.
Song(s): "Don’t Blame Me" by Taylor Swift
You throw your legs languidly over the chair in the corner of Hotch’s office. "I’ve already studied the material you gave me extensively." You rest your head against the arm of the chair, your eyes fluttering closed.
"If you don’t want the help we can stop these little sessions. That’s fine to settle for mediocrity. Truly, that’s your own mistake," Hotch huffs disapprovingly and you hear him stand up from his chair.
"I’m sorry. I’m just tired," You groan softly and force your eyes open, to see him leaning on the desk arms crossed against his chest as he looks over you. A small smile fights its way onto your face. He looks absolutely amazing today. He’s much more casual than usual. He has a green polo on and the top two unbuttons are undone just enough to let a little chest hair peek out. It’s got you all kinds of unfocused.
"There’s an exam in three days. You need to be prepared," Aaron raises a brow at you, waiting for you to sit up properly and pay attention.
"Isn’t it kind of unfair for you to help me study for an exam you’re writing?" You laugh a little under your breath, swinging your legs around to sit in the chair normally. You lean forward, resting your chin in the palm of your hand.
"I’m not giving you the exact exam questions. Just testing you on the material. Plus, I’ll throw in some questions about the extra stuff we’ve been discussing," Aaron nods and reaches across his desk for a notebook.
You let out another sigh and reach for your own notes. "God this is so boring." You pout.
Aaron raises a brow at your childish attitude and rolls his eyes, "You have something you’d rather do?"
"I have quite a few ideas." You grin and raise your eyebrows twice in jest. Aaron shakes his head at you, narrowing his eyes, "Fine. Fine!" You sigh frustratedly. You’re shocked he’s forcing you to study. Something about it is endearing, knowing that he does still care about your success in the class, not just purely driven by his sexual attraction to you. He holds out another sheet of information and you quickly scan the page, reading it at a pretty fast pace. "Yeah I already know all of this."
"You sure?" He countered, shoving his hands into his pockets, his thumbs hooked on the edges.
"Yes, Aaron, I’m sure," You hold the paper out to hand it back to him.
"How well do you know all of it? Is it practically ingrained in your brain? Can you recall it at a moment's notice? This is a timed exam after all." Hotch rattles off the interrogatory questions and you practically scoff at him.
"You have such little faith in my study habits it’s genuinely concerning. I’ve already made an extensive study guide, studied said study guide, and could take the exam today if I had to." You point out before leaning back in the chair again.
"How about we test your knowledge then?" He raises a brow crossing the room to stand directly in front of you. You crane your head back to be able to look at him. The way you’re positioned, you sitting, him standing, he towers over you, inevitably making his dominance over you more oppressive and obvious.
You scrunch your face up, feeling confused by his actions. "Stand up," He commands and gestures with his hand for you to move out of your chair. You stand up hesitantly but don’t move from your spot, unsure where he’s going with this. He sighs frustratedly and practically lifts you on your feet, moving you out of his way before sitting down in your spot.
You place your hands on your hips, frustrated with him, "Hotch, if you just wanted my seat you could’ve—" Before you can finish your sentence, however, Hotch grips you tightly, yanking you down, laying you across his lap. You let out a small screech in response, fearful you’re going to fall onto your face, but Hotch is quickly to catch you and hold you steady. "What are you—"
"Shut up," He groans out. He reaches forward, practically ripping off your blouse before rolling your skirt up to bunch at your hips. "I’m tired of the attitude today. You’re going to keep that wicked little mouth of yours shut until I tell you to open it, do I make myself clear?" Hotch’s large rough hand trails up your bare legs, before cupping one of your ass cheeks, rubbing and groping it.
You pause, unsure if you should verbally respond so you give a small nod. Hotch draws his hand back, smacking your ass, sending sharp stings of pain throughout your body. You yelp but sink your teeth into your lip, attempting to mute your sounds.
"I asked you a question," He growls out, rubbing over the spot he just smacked, both his hand and your skin warm from the contact. "Do I make myself clear?" He asks once more, placing heavy emphasis on each word and drawing out each syllable.
"Yes," You breathe out, attempting to catch your breath.
"Good girl," He uses his other hand to gather both your wrists, pinning them behind your back. "Corpus Delicti. Define it."
You furrow your brows, "What?"
Smack, smack. He doles out two insanely hard spanks to your ass and you cry out in response. "I asked you a question. Give me the answer," He growls, releasing your wrists so he can fist your hair in hand, "Define corpus delicti."
Your head is fuzzy from the pain and arousal as you squirm around, feeling his firm body below yours. "Corpus delicti," You pant slightly and struggle to find your words, "Also called body of a crime. It’s the principle that there must be facts or evidence that show the occurrence of a crime."
"Good," His hand runs lazily over both cheeks of your ass, his hand slightly cooler than your burning hot skin. He hooks his finger into your panties and pulls them down your legs. "The two components of corpus delicti?"
Just as you open your mouth to give an answer, Hotch thrusts two fingers into you at an achingly slow pace. His fingers are thick and fill you wholly and he curls them just right. "Oh fuck," You moan out, unable to contain your arousal.
He pauses for a moment and stills. "Don’t stop!" You whine impatiently. Just as the words leave your lips, you remember the question he asked you. "Wait, wait!" You cry out but Hotch brings his hand down harder than ever on your ass three times in rapid succession.
"Evidence that a crime has been committed and someone is criminally responsible for the act," You cry out, missing the feeling of his fingers inside of you, "That fucking hurts," You whine in pain, your head feeling fuzzy. You can barely think straight. Your bottom is on fire, your eyes sting with tears and you’re just aching for his touch again.
"You know what to say if you want me to stop," He tuts disapprovingly and the safe words you two have discussed race through your brain. You’re not going to say one. You’re in a whole world of pain but you’re most definitely enjoying, "Now if I recall, you’re not supposed to speak," He clamps a hand over your mouth, leaning his face in close to your ear, "Now be quiet. Otherwise, someone might hear you making all this unnecessary noise."
He’s taunting you. He raises his hand, spanking your ass, again, and again, and again. You’re not quite sure what spurred this on, but you’re assuming it has to do with the way you cursed at him. He finally lets up after another five spanks, your moans and cries muffled by his hand. At this point, your legs feel weak and you struggle to hold your head up. Tears stream down your cheeks freely.
"The principles of criminality?" Hotch runs his hand up your bare back, reaching for your bra clasp and undoing it to slide your bra off.
Your breathing is wildly erratic and just about everything you’ve ever learned seems to have disappeared from your memory. But out of fear of more smacks to your stinging cheeks, you rush to get the answer out, "Legality, actus reus, mens rea, fusion of actus reus and mens rea, harm, causation, and stipulation of punishment." You rattle off, letting out a small sigh of relief.
You feel his hand leave your skin and you squeeze your eyes tightly shut already anticipating the slap before you get it. He gives you two more electrifying spanks, "Ow!" You cry out, "What the fuck was that for?" You burrow your face into the arm of the chair and feel him chuckle softly beneath you. He keeps you pinned to his lap, pressing his erection hard into your stomach.
Hotch doesn’t reply simply pushing you up off his lap and back onto your knees. You sit back on your heels, squeezed in the small space between him and the arm of the chair. His hands go to his belt, undoing it and unzipping his slacks just enough to push his boxers down and free himself from his pants. He’s already hard, obviously aroused from the punishments he had been doling out to you. "Let’s put that mouth of yours to good use."
You bend down, taking almost all of him into your mouth. You wrap one hand around the base, pumping and stroking the remaining length that doesn’t fit in your mouth. You bring the other hand to cup and fondle his balls, eliciting a long, loud groan that rumbles deep in his throat. "That’s my good girl." He gathers up your hair in his hands, holding it out of your face.
You bob your head faster, picking up the pace as you run your tongue along the entirety of his cock. You pull all the way out to the tip before taking all of him back into your mouth again. His cock hits the back of your throat, causing you to choke out a gag, tears stinging your eyes again. You breathe through your nose as he tightens his grip on your hair. "Just like that… don’t stop. Take all of me, pretty girl."
Just as you feel him twitch in your mouth, beginning to buck his hips quite wildly, he pulls your head away.
"Why’d you stop I—" Hotch silences you with a passionate kiss, wrapping one hand around your neck to pull you closer, but not really tightening his grip in a way to cut off airflow. You moan into his mouth loudly and he guides you onto his lap.
You place your knees on either side of his hips, grinding against him. Your mouth focuses on meeting his, taking in every one of his moans. "Please, daddy," You whine, "I need you now." The name spurs him on and he lifts your hips just enough to push into you.
It’s a familiar feeling, but even now it still elicits a small gasp from your lips as you throw your head back in pleasure. This exposes the entire base of your neck to him, which he soon litters with small nips and kisses as he resists the urge to move you or thrust into you.
You squirm a little but he keeps your hips glued in place, "Please. Please I need more," You beg pathetically. You bring your eye line back down to look at him and he has that hungry, lustful glint in his eye that you love so much.
"What do you want me to do, pretty girl?" He mumbles against the skin of your neck and the vibrations of his deep voice send chills down your entire body. Your ass is on fire and every nerve ending feels electrified with his cock buried deep inside you like this.
"Please," Your begging intensifies and Hotch trails a hand between the two of you, rubbing your clit, increasing the pressure steadily, "Please, daddy, fuck me!" You need some form of friction, anything at all. He’s torturing you and you’re fucking sick of it. You’re hot and sweaty and horny and you need to finish.
"When are you going to learn?" He tsks softly and reaches up with his other hand to massage your breast, taking your nipple between his fingers. "You need to use your words." You whine impatiently.
"Please. I’m begging you," you tilt your head down and lean forward to kiss him quickly, nipping at his lips and aching to taste him. You let out a small cry in pleasure when he finally lifts your hips, just to slam you down onto him. He’s taking a rough pace with you. He’s wild and uncontrollable but you don’t even notice because your body feels so overstimulated. Between the pain in your bottom and the overwhelming pleasure, your head feels as if it's in a haze.
You’re on top of him, but he makes it evidently clear that he still has control, even in this position. His hands grip your hips with bruising strength and he thrusts his own hips up to meet yours with every bounce. He hits deep inside you and you cry out in pleasure, holding onto his shoulders tightly for balance.
Your skirt slides down from your hips a little, almost hiding the image of him thrusting up into you. You don’t last long, feeling the familiar pressure building between your hips, "Can I come? I want to come around you!" You cry out, "Fuck please daddy!" You struggle to get coherent words out, devolving into a series of incoherent curses and moans as Hotch continues to slam you down onto his cock.
"Go ahead," He mutters softly and leans in to kiss your cheek and down under your jaw, "You’ve been a good girl you deserve it," He speaks close to your ear and the feeling of his hot breath fanning across your face sends a small shiver through you as your eyes roll back into your head. You come hard around his cock, chanting his name and letting out loud, strangled cries of pleasure.
You can barely hold yourself up and you burrow your head into his neck as Hotch continues to fuck you through your orgasm, his pace unrelenting. You feel your legs trembling as Hotch’s pace grows erratic, his panting turning into guttural deep groans. "That’s it, daddy," You purr, nipping at his earlobe.
"Fuck!" Hotch cries out and thrusts into a few times before coming to a shuddering halt and throwing his head back onto the chair, breathing heavily.
You both stay there for a while, attempting to catch your breath and to get the strength to stand up. Hotch soon lifts you up, placing you back on your feet. He stands up soon after, tucking himself back into his pants and reaching for his belt. He walks back around to his desk. You both exist in silence, moving about the room, cleaning yourselves up. You bend down for your bra and blouse that Hotch so carelessly discarded.
"Come over to my place tonight." Hotch’s voice cuts through the silence as you are getting dressed. Your head shoots up to look at him and he can read the confusion that coats your face. He glances away from your line of sight and back at his desk. He busies his hands with some papers on the desk.
You pull your blouse on, attempting to button it before realizing a few buttons are missing. "Isn’t that a little… different for us?" You attempt to decode Hotch’s mannerisms but he keeps his focus down on the materials on the desk.
"I’m tired of hiding out in this stuffy office," He shakes his head, "Plus there’s only so many surfaces I can put you on here." He glances up at you, that mischievous smirk plastered across his face. "My apartment has a working AC system, food, drinks, and most importantly, a very large, very comfortable bed."
You hesitate, not sure how to respond. You want to go over to his place. It sounds nice but you have a sinking feeling you’re growing just a little too attached to your law professor.
"Well, I won’t be over until late tonight." You respond as Hotch picks up your bag from the floor, holding it out for you. You reach to pull it onto your shoulder. You glance up to see Hotch’s quizzical look, "I promised Charlie I would help him study. For your exam actually." You laugh softly and see Hotch’s face fall into a frown.
"Charlie Miller?" He clarifies and you nod.
"Yeah," You breathe out, attempting to right your clothing and smooth out your hair, "Something wrong?"
"He’s… just not someone I would picture you wasting your time with," Hotch crosses his arms against his chest, eyes focused down at you. You want to quickly dismiss his judgment, attributing it to Charlie’s lack of work ethic but you sense something else in his tone. Is that… jealousy?
You smirk widely, "Oh really? Are you sure that’s what’s bothering you?"
"What are you insinuating?" He tilts his head to the side, raising his brows, his voice flat and unimpressed.
"Oh I’m not insinuating anything, professor," You drawl out the title and grin at him cheekily.
He grips the front of your blouse, pulling you close to him, "Watch the attitude. Unless you want me to show you what real punishment is like tonight." He reaches down to grab and grope at your ass, eliciting a small hiss in pain.
You stay like that for a minute, your chest pressed against his, his hands roaming your body once more. He lets out a strained breath before letting you go, "Call me if you’re going to come over."
You nod, "Bye Aaron," You smile before turning to close his office door.
———
"I’m serious, Charlie, we have to focus," You laugh as he places a beer in front of you on your kitchen table.
"One beer is not going to kill your focus, kid genius," He rolls his eyes cracking open each of the bottles, "Besides, I’m the one who needs help with studying."
You grin and pull the beer out of his hands, "Fine. Then you get this back when we’re done."
"What? Are you punishing me?" He places a hand over his chest feigning shock and hurt.
You roll your eyes, reaching over to nudge his shoulder playfully, "Let’s just get started" You notice that Charlie has scooted his chair a little closer to yours, his thigh pressing firmly against yours. He brings his hands down to rest on his lap, his fingers brushing gently against your leg. The small contact doesn’t make you uncomfortable. It just doesn’t send sparks through your entire body the way Hotch’s hands do. You clear your throat, feeling your face flush. Your bottom is still wildly uncomfortable sitting here on the hard wooden chairs in your apartment.
"Outline the principles of criminality." You turn on a small smile. As Charlie starts to rattle off his answers, your mind wanders back to your study session with Hotch from earlier. Your ass is still stinging wildly. Your mind is still sort of foggy and you’re fucking exhausted. The aching between your thighs hasn’t ceased and you’re sure it won’t be going away any time soon if you decide to go over to Hotch’s tonight.
"Was that correct?" Charlie’s question startles you out of your thoughts. "Hey… y/n, you okay?" He places a hand on your shoulder.
You glance back at Charlie, realizing you’ve entirely missed what he said, "Uh yeah… let’s just move on. "Ex post facto?"
"After the deed or after the fact." He recites before giving a large grin, "So how am I doing, Einstein? Living up to your expectations?"
"You just might exceed them, Miller," You taunt but you can’t seem to get into the natural teasing rhythm with him. You can’t stop thinking about Hotch. You force your eyes back to Charlie, who seems to return the same level of unwavering eye contact.
Yes, it’s amazing when you’re with him. You’re never unsatisfied. The passion between you and your professor is unmatched. You can’t keep your hands off of him. But when you leave you can’t help but let your mind wander. Every interaction feels so static. Like your relationship is simply an exchange of services and it leaves you feeling used. Like you’re unimportant and worthless. Yet at the same time, he manages to make you feel seen. Hotch simultaneously sees the greatness in you, he acknowledges the potential and the intelligence you hold, while also treating you like every other man in power treats women. He sees you the way you want to be seen while reducing you to just your looks. You wonder if Hotch grows bored of you… what is to become of this arrangement? Do you lose the respect of your professor as soon as he no longer wants to sleep with you?
That’s when your mind stumbles over a thought you had never considered until right now: Are you the only one? He seems so comfortable with the dynamics of a student/professor affair. Are there other students he’s showering with praise before burrowing his head between their thighs?
"Y/n? Are you okay? You seem so distracted and lost today." Charlie’s voice is soft and warm.
"Yeah," You have to break his eye contact, unable to look at his features any longer, glancing down at your hands. His whole presence is the exact opposite of Hotch. Hotch is rough and blunt. His eyes are warm, the most beautiful light brown tone, contrasting with his jet black hair and warm skin tone. Hotch’s touch is rough, needy. His voice is gruff, abrasive. Charlie’s voice is smooth and velvety. Every touch from him is gentle, inviting. His skin is pale and his eyes are a bright blue. Hotch is a man and Charlie is… well Charlie is practically a boy. Still older than you, but immaturity and inexperience run rampant through him.
His hand reaches under your chin, tilting your face up to look at him. He doesn’t speak, his eyes just searching yours. And suddenly you’re kissing him.
His hands are warm on your cheeks. He pulls you close, your hands resting on his bare chest, easily accessible because the top buttons of his shirt are open. His mouth is soft and warm against yours. One hand comes to the back of your neck, the other trailing down to your back. He pushes your back, your body arching against him.
Soft slow kisses turn into more rapid, needy ones. Your hands explore his body and you notice just how different he is from Hotch. His skin is smooth and heavily muscled. He pulls you closer, attempting to remove any distance that remains between your bodies. You don’t have time to think, he just lets your hands explore his torso. His hands move steadily down, resting on your bare thighs before sliding just under the hem of your skirt.
Your fingers work at the buttons on his shirt and his large hands rest on your hips under your skirt. In a second, he pulls you as close as possible, settling you onto his lap. You let out a soft moan in response. And Charlie lets out a low chuckle that vibrates through your entire body. That’s enough for you to pause and think for a second.
What are you doing? What the actual fuck are you doing?
You freeze, stopping the kiss to pull away. You look over Charlie’s flushed features, his eyes alight with lust and his lips plump and swollen from your kiss.
"I’m sorry. I can’t," You start to speak and get off of his lap, taking a few steps away. You’re struggling to catch your breath and you haphazardly grab your belongings.
Charlie grabs your hand lightly, "Wait, wait where are you going?"
"I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that," You shake your hand, yanking your hand from his grip. "I shouldn’t have…"
"Did I do something wrong?" Charlie scrunches up his brows confused.
"No! No," You reassure him, maybe just a little too forcefully, "I just… I really have to go." And with that you’re practically running out the door, running out of your own apartment just to clear your mind and get some air.
As soon as you step outside, your first thoughts are of Hotch. You’re not dating him, nothing is solid, there’s no exclusivity. He could be sleeping with a million other students for all you know, but for some reason, you feel dirty. You feel guilty. You can’t possibly comprehend why you feel like this. There are hardly any real moments of connection between you and Hotch. You enjoy each other’s company but it’s not as if you would ever spend time together without having sex. That would make what you and Hotch have too real. And it’s not. It’s just sex, no promises, no commitments. Just pure, animalistic acts of passion.
You think about Charlie. You’ve led him on. You let out a frustrated groan, walking down the block from your apartment. The weather is getting colder every day and you shiver slightly. As your feet scrape against the pavement you think about the other night when Hotch walked you home and you feel the guilt growing inside of you. Maybe there is some connection between the two of you. Or maybe that’s entirely one-sided.
Either way, whatever just happened with Charlie was incredibly wrong and should never have happened no matter how good it felt or how nice and kind he is to you. You have this thing with Hotch. Whatever the thing is, all you know is that you can’t think of anyone other than Hotch, even as Charlie’s hands gripped and massaged your skin. Your heart is pounding and your breathing is tremulous. It's getting so cold that you can see your breath hang in the air.
You dig into your bag for your phone. You flip it open and dial the number. "Aaron? I’m on my way over now."
Chapter 7: I.VII →
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Introducing the Spideychelle Recathon!
I really appreciated all of the hard work and dedication the Spideychelle fandom showed during this year’s Spideychelle Week and I really wanted to find a way to celebrate all of those fantastic creators in this fandom, including those who didn’t participate in the week but contribute to the fandom outside of it. A lot of fan events that are hosted on Tumblr focus on content creation and I wanted to create an event focused on content appreciation.
Then it hit me—a recathon, taking from the words recommendation and marathon; an event that encourages people to rec many fanworks over the course of the event. I’m surely not the first to come up with the idea, but I haven’t seen it in the Spideychelle fandom yet. I hope this event will be a success like Spideychelle Week has proven to be in the past and it becomes a staple for the fandom.
The event will take place in October across all thirty-one days. You do not have to participate for every day, however, and you can pick and choose based on the daily themes that have fanworks that you are passionate about and wish to reccomend to others. I’d like on the chosen day for particpants to create a rec list (it does not have to be a list if you only have one fanwork to rec) and tag this blog (@spideychelleweek) so that I can reblog the rec list. It’s also encouraged that you tag the creators’ you’re reccing and let them know you love their work! If the original creator has already posted the fanwork on Tumblr then you can also choose to reblog their original post and tag this blog, letting me know you’re reccing it.
I hope most of the prompts are self-explanatory, but if not then below the cut I’ll try to simply explain each one. If you have any questions about the prompts or the event then please send in an ask and I’ll answer as promptly as I can.
Day 01 | Classics: Older and beloved fanworks; the type that every fan should read/watch/see and is introduced to every new Spideychelle fan someway or another. These fanworks should have been posted before the release of Spider-Man: Far From Home.
Day 02 | Crossover/Fusion: Crossover is when two fandoms combine, such as a fanwork where Peter Parker meets Robert Patterson’s Batman, while fusion is where the fandoms are merged by implanting the characters of one setting into another, such as the ever popular Hogwarts AU.
Day 03 | Kiss: Fanworks involving kissing, such as a one shot about their first kiss or a fanart of a passionate kiss. Kissing doesn’t have to be the main focus of the work. For instance, if you think a 100k word fanfic has the best kiss scenes then rec it away even if it has 95k words where no kissing is involved.
Day 04 | MJ Backstory: In the MCU’s canon we don’t know a lot about MJ’s family or her life, but the fandom has explored and delved deep into MJ’s character so this slot is for fanworks that explore MJ’s backstory whether it be a down-to-earth depiction of her family or exciting backstory where MJ is a spy.
Day 05 | Fluff: A fanwork that is pleasant and makes you feel good, such as fanworks depicting cuddling or other affectionate actions though fluff isn’t limited to that.
Day 06 | Identity Reveal: Fanworks that explore Peter Parker’s secret identity and it being revealed to MJ (who may already know) or other characters.
Day 07 | Post-FFH: Fanworks that take place after Spider-Man: Far From Home and explore what happens after Mysterio revealed Peter Parker’s identity to the world.
Day 08 | Vids: All kinds of fanworks can be posted for each day, but I imagine most will end up being fics so this day is devoted solely to vids which are video edits often set to music using clips from the films.
Day 09 | Fix-It: For fanworks that “correct” canon events that are not liked by the fan(dom), such as fanworks where the Snap/Blip never happened, Tony never died, or whatever else that fandom seeks to correct through fanworks.
Day 10 | Favorite Creator(s): Spread the spotlight to specific creators whose fanworks you love.
Day 11 | Domestic: Fanworks involving the characters living everyday lives. Often involves marriage or children, but domestic fanworks don’t have to include that nor does domestic mean that Peter can’t have powers, since being Spider-Man is a normal part of his everyday life.
Day 12 | Angst: Fanworks that hit you in the feels by making you feel negative emotions, particularly saddness or fear.
Day 13 | No Spider-Man: Fanworks that depict Peter Parker as a normal human being without superpowers. Other characters can have superpowers, but Peter Parker cannot.
Day 14 | LGBT+: Fanworks that depict LGBT+ themes and/or characters such as Trans!Peter Parker or Bisexual!MJ. Those are just examples, so feel free to rec works that don’t fit those specific parameters as long as they are LGBT+ focused.
Day 15 | Underappreciated: Fanworks that are underappreciated, such as not having that much engagement from the fandom. I’ll let you determine what counts as underappreciated, but please don’t rec fanworks that have 1000 kudos and 50 comments. This day is about praising fanworks that get barely any praise.
Day 16 | Alternative Universe: Fanworks that alter elements of canon, such as College AUs, Coffee Shop AUs, Vampire AUs, Omegaverse AUs, Historical AUs, Soulmate AUs, and so, so, so many more.
Day 17 | Spider-Man 3: Fanworks that make you go, “this could be in the MCU’s Spider-Man 3,” whether it be fanart depicting an epic fight scene, a long fic plotting out a huge overarching narrative, a vid with a tight story, or whatever else you can think of.
Day 18 | One Shots: Fanworks, typically fanfiction but it can include other mediums such as comics, that are standalone stories contained within a single chapter.
Day 19 | Hurt/Comfort: Fanworks involving a character(s) being hurt either emotionally or physically and then being comforted by another character(s).
Day 20 | Self-Rec: Recommend a fanwork or fanworks that you created! Don’t be afraid to be proud of your work and I want everyone to shamelessly rec their fanworks that they’re proud of on this day.
Day 21 | Comic Elements: Fanworks that include elements from the Spider-Man comics that have yet to appear in the MCU, such as the Venom Symbiote or a reimagining of a classic scene/panel/storyline using the MCU’s version of the characters.
Day 22 | Art: A day to recommend your favorite pieces of fanart. This doesn’t just include drawn/painted art, but it can also include cosplay, sculptures, paper craft, and any other medium.
Day 23 | Missing Scene: Any fanwork that fills in a “gap” in the films and could reasonably be seen as canon compliant.
Day 24 | Five Things: A story structure that includes multiple scenes that are related to each other using a common theme. An example is “Five Time Peter & MJ Almost Kissed & The One Time They Did.” The story structure does not need to have exactly five and can have any number as long as it follows the typical structure.
Day 25 | Humor: Fanworks that are humorous and make you laugh.
Day 26 | Smut: Fanworks that depict sexual material of either a Mature or Explicit rating.
Day 27 | Drabble: Fanfics that are exactly one hundred words long, but for this day I’ll accept less words or slightly more. And I also would like to see other mediums for this category such as vids that are less than thirty seconds. Generally, just fanworks that are fairly short in length.
Day 28 | Mental Health: Fanworks that depict mental illness, mental disorders, or neurodivergent headcanons. Examples include, but are not limited to, ADHD, Autism, Panic Attacks, PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, etc.
Day 29 | Meta: Essays or analysis discussing the characters and/or relationship in the context of its portrayal in canon or fandom.
Day 30 | New Fanwork: Fanworks that have only been recently posted. I won’t give an exact hard timeline for you to follow, but as a guideline I’d say it counts as new if it was posted in the past two months.
Day 31 | Free Day: Reccomend fanworks based on any theme (or no theme) that you want.
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@unintentionalgenius tagged me to do this and I simply cannot resist them SO
1. How many fics do you have on ao3? - the answer is 13 and I find that alarming. I thought it was like... 6.
2. What’s your total ao3 word count? - cannot believe I’m doing math at 9:18 am uhhh 140,834??? How is this number so high??? I truly don’t understand.
3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? - ‘someone who’ll set my heart free’, the hades game sickfic I did not expect to still be getting kudos on to this day, all three of my Spencer Reid/Reader insert fics from 2015, and then ‘to grow a winter garden’, last year’s Jaskier/Reader fic and my longest baby to date!
4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? - Generally, if it’s a comment with some depth of its own, I will! Otherwise I feel like the commenter and I will get caught in a loop of just sending love to one another (which is lovely but not Productive.) My fave comments to reply to were the ones on ‘to grow a winter garden’ — the demisexual reader character did a lot for a fair handful of people and that really means SO much to me to have done that at all, so. They get my wordvom.
5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? - HAHAHA I am physically incapable of writing Angst I am so sorry to everyone ??? I can’t even answer this it’s out of my wheelhouse. (that being said I think ‘come out, level up’ is going to have the angstiest scene / arc, but lord we ain’t there yet)
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? - ohhhhhh boy. what a Question for the me. Probably ‘to grow a winter garden’ but like, it’s complicated-happy (as is the nature with Jaskier, I think, love him.)
7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written? - no, but I am a SUCKER for a fusion fic. See the BNHAH au, the BNHA x Boyfriend Dungeon au, the scraps of YYH fusion fic I write for every fandom I lay my hands on... alas.
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? - hmmm yes some little baby person decided to send me tumblr askbox hate over my writing for winter garden, instead of closing out the window like an adult, but nothing Big (oh also my ex boyfriend in 2014 hated the RTAH reader insert fic he INSISTED I share with him... yes I’m still mad fuck you man)
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? - okay the technical answer is yes but really I just wanna know about the different kinds of smut. Like, what does this mean? I’m worried about smut genres now what am I missing here
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? - if I have I don’t know about it!
11. Have you ever had a fic translated? - no way I’m not that big of a deal
12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? - I am effusive sounding board for @unintentionalgenius and I would be miserable without them in my corner as well... and I was beta/and everything else for Wes (Cruel Fate, Kind Destiny), but I don’t think I could actually coauthor something with someone.
13. What’s your all time favorite ship? - oh my god you can’t just ask someone what their favorite ship is. lord let me think... (ten literal minutes later) I can’t possibly pick, like. Whatever @suzukiblu does I’m invested in, same frankly for surveycorpsjean, but like... I can’t simply Pick.
14. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? - y’all if I had a better naming scheme I would simply include a screenshot from my scrivener here because the answer is ALL of them. that being said I Do need to finish the Jaskier POV of winter garden.
15. What are your writing strengths? - I think my sentence flow is good, structurally! Everything else is garbage tho sorry.
16. What are your writing weaknesses? - all of it. but lord don’t get me started on character voice I CAN’T DO IT why CAN I NOT DO IT
17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic? - @unintentionalgenius summed it up well but like — if we aren’t supposed to know what they meant, it gets a one off narrative line. If we are supposed to know what they meant and it’s a whole sentence, we mention that they’re speaking <x language> and write it in the language of the rest of the fic. If it’s a one-off word NBD.
18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? - on ao3? Naruto, I think. In general? Harry Potter, aged 13.
19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? - honestly even if I haven’t posted it, my scrivener is full of where my id has leaked. Most stuff I either don’t care to write or I just do it. Maybe kacchako, though, I just love them.
20. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written? - oh boyyyy I feel like I want to say ‘to grow a winter garden’, just bc it wrapped up so well, but there’s so much in the works for ‘come out (level up)’ that I just can’t discount it. Y’all I can’t pick like that. :(
@ofmermaidstories @cat-slippered @bobawithpomegranate y’all I would love to see your answers!!
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Fics with magicians of some sorts? Does not matter who it is that's magic, but like some spells or curses would be cool! Merry Christmas if you celebrate!
we have some witch aus with magic, i hope that’s okay!
What's in a name? - MercurySkies | G, 4.7k, Complete
‘“So you want me to make a deal with a strange, fae, witch I met in the woods in the middle of the night?” The witch adds, hands on his hips and looking incredibly dubious. Shane rolls his eyes, feeling vaguely offended, his fae heritage a touchy subject.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware we were still living in the 17th century.”
“It may be 2018 but I’m still not in the habit of cutting deals with guys that look like they could be Big Foot’s long lost nephew in the middle of the woods at dick o’clock in the morning.”’
a bar in the mojave desert - arostine | E, 21k, Complete
Shane first heard about Ryan’s magical little bar in the southern California desert years ago. He’d always meant to visit, but the bar is off the beaten path, hidden specifically to make it difficult for people like him to find. So Shane is truly so excited to finally be here, in this enchanting little bar that’s turned so many of his kind away. He's so excited to finally set foot in the spot where Ryan’s fought off one attempt on his life after another, where Ryan’s won the undying loyalty of his handpicked bar staff.
But Shane is most excited to finally meet Ryan.
He wants to drink with him.
He wants to play a game.
[freeze] - drunkkenobi | M, 8.8k, Complete
“Stay back, I don’t know what’s happening!”
Shane didn’t stop, following him with a now-steady hand. “Ryan, stop, just breathe.”
“I can’t, there’s snow, stay BACK!”
As Ryan yelled, a six-inch cone of snow burst from his hands, just missing Shane’s outstretched arm. It fell to the floor in a neat pile, the edges already melting from the fire.
They stared at each other and then at the snow, dumbfounded.
What the fuck?
Until it was Refilled - punk_rock_yuppie | T, 1.8k, Complete
Ryan dies. Shane brings him back.
It's not nearly as dramatic as it could be.
This year’s love (had better last) - Agf | E, 9.2k, Complete
Shane’s given up on breaking his curse. After all, it’s not very likely he’ll bump into someone able to break it on Halloween - the one day he’s really visible - is it?
The Genius of the Western River - Siria | T, 13k, Complete
Shane’s totally working on being flippant about all those times he joked about Ryan’s godlike physique, never suspecting how true those jokes might be—the two of them just have to defeat a supernatural serial killer first. (A Rivers of London fusion AU.)
Three Days Until Dawn - chapscher | M, 54k, Complete
Once every fifty years, Shane has three days to live as a human before the curse he is under changes him back into a ghostlike spirit. Shane devotes his time to figuring out his own mystery: who cursed him, why, and, most importantly, how he can finally break free. It just so happens that this year he has a visitor with him in the old house - a man who also is searching for answers to unsolved mysteries.
fireflies where my caution should be - popkin16 | E, 36k, Complete
Shane didn't mean to keep it a secret. By the time he'd thought about telling Ryan they'd been friends for a while, and how do you slip that into conversation? Too early and he'd have scared Ryan off. Too late, and he'd be upset because Shane didn't tell him sooner. It was too complicated and too personal for Shane.
So he just...didn't.
open all your doors - apologeticallybourgeois | E, 8k, Complete
Shane was almost sure that Ryan didn’t actually cast a spell for it to happen, if only because the price he’d have to pay would probably be counted in, like, human limbs instead of a couple of small animals.
Little Bit Magical - blacktofade | E, 19k, Complete
Shane is a demon in need of healing and Ryan just so happens to have magic that can heal him. When Ryan needs protection from someone trying to steal his soul, they strike a deal to save each other.
Lost a fic? Check out our fic found tag, and if you still can’t find it, send us an ask!
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MDZS Modern AU Fic Tips (Living in China)
So I asked a while back if anyone was interested in some fic tips for writing Chinese modern AUs, and y’all seemed enthusiastic. But…when I tried putting it all in a single post it got…really…really long…
So I split them into a bunch of posts (Yes I copy-pasted this intro on all of them because I’m lazy)! Here are the links:
Names & Stuff
Modern Chinese Cultural Stuff
Superstitions & Beliefs
Festivals
Living in China (You are here)
Anyways, these are based off my experiences living in Singapore and China, and I hope these posts are helpful. On to it.
Living in China
Disclaimer: I mostly lived in Singapore during my existence, and thus I can’t give you extremely detailed info of what it’s like exactly, but I do visit my Chinese relatives fairly frequently, so these are general tips. Also, please keep in mind that the info here is biased towards life in Dalian & Harbin. I’ve been to Beijing but only twice so I don’t remember a lot.
The currency in China is RMB, or “yuan”. 100 RMB is about $14 USD, and not considered a lot of money
Side Note: The above tip is also another reason why you shouldn’t ever write A-Yuan’s name as just “Yuan”. It makes him look like the local currency djsasldkj
Coin values are (with comparison to US currency):
1 yuan (like a dollar)
5 jiao (Half-yuan - 50 cents)
1 jiao (1/10 yuan - 10 cents)
5 fen (0.05 yuan - 5 cents)
1 fen (0.01 - basically a penny)
Also related to money, in more urban areas, people don’t really carry cash or even cards around anymore. Practically everything is paid electronically, through WeChat Pay and other cash/bank apps, typically using QR codes on phones. You’ll have a hard time as a foreigner if you don’t have any of those apps in these areas (AKA me when I forget to re-download them before heading to China)
The exceptions to this would be places where tourists and foreigners are very frequent, such as hotels, airports, tourist buildings, universities (though my cousin’s old uni recently went full electronic payment I think???) etc, and more rural areas
Some Chinese social media and stuff:
BaiDu 百度 - Basically Chinese Google. We also use it the way we use “google” as a verb, saying 百度一下 (bǎi dù yī xià) - “Let me BaiDu it”
WeChat - Very similar to Whatsapp in general, also used for money purposes with WeChat Pay
QQ Mail - The most frequently used email platform in China. QQ Mail also has an Instant Messenger last time I checked. Also, I think QQ still uses number-based IDs, so the address would look something like: (
[email protected]). Hotmail is fairly common in China too, particularly with those who need have to send international emails
YouKu 优酷 - The most popular video hosting site (most similar to YouTube out of the many video sites)
bilibili 哔哩哔哩 (yes, small caps) - Another video site well-known for animations, games, and comics especially
TaoBao 淘宝 - Cosplayers would probably know this. Something like a Chinese Amazon or Lazada.
WeiBo 微博 - Main Chinese social media platform. Feels like a FaceBook + Twitter fusion
LOFTER - Feels like a Chinese Tumblr
Even in urban areas, it’s easy to find entire streets of literally nothing but restaurants by the main roads (+ maybe a stationary shop, salon, or something in a corner, and you can often drive right up to the front door and park right there (in more populated areas and/or near malls/attractions, there will likely be extra open parking space nearby such restaurant streets)
Some larger restaurants, especially those with seafood specialties, don’t have actual booklet menus. Instead they have a wide selection of fresh ingredients (wrapped up safely in layers saran wrap) such as vegetables, cuts of meat, and tanks of living fish/shellfish/crustaceans near the entrance. They tend to have a list of dishes you can order by the corresponding ingredients, or a server nearby to tell you and take your orders. Apparently this is more common in the North.
You don’t tip in restaurants in China. You COULD slip a particular server or two some cash if you wanted to, but as an overall system tipping does not exist and also it’s not “one server one table”. It’s “whoever’s available to serve you IN THAT MOMENT will serve you” so you’ll likely see at least three different servers throughout your meal. Please. Stop with the “Hi I’ll be your server today” in China-set fics. It’s SOOOOO WEIRD.
I’ve never studied in China, but I checked this guide with my Chinese cousin and it’s pretty accurate about the educational system there
Speaking of schools, you wear uniforms up to Upper Secondary (some to Post-Secondary). As typical gender-conformity strikes again, girls will wear skirts and boys will wear pants. The exception is during the colder months, in which everyone will basically just wear full body tracksuits (school-issued) to school and it’s their uniform for the whole day. This is particularly common in schools with low or no heating systems, especially in more rural areas
Drivers sit on the left side of their vehicle in China. Typically, any foreign cars (such as from Hong Kong - which would have the driver on the right) will need a mainland license plate. (This might be changing in recent times though.)
I don’t know much about the healthcare systems in China anymore, I was hospitalized once at 3 or 4 and don’t remember much, but in general basic healthcare from public hospitals is low-cost to free (depending on the region) for Chinese citizens with their basic insurance plans (individual and employee provided). You get charged (more) for hospitalization and more serious treatments like surgeries, physical/mental therapy, vaccinations (this is a pro-vax blog btw, just saying), and maybe dental. Most of these can be covered by insurance too though. If you go to a private hospital, it’s considerably more expensive of course.
Okay that’s all the info I can think of to be potentially useful in fics lol.
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