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loriache · 20 days

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"I've been waiting for ages for somebody to unmask them."

This moment tends to elicit negative reactions in a first read through, and I've got some opinions about why where Kabru is coming from here actually makes a lot of logical sense. So I thought I'd elaborate on that.

I think people hear this and go, "He thinks they must be hiding something because they gave money to someone? What a cynic." Or "he dislikes them because they did charity?? What's wrong with this guy!". And obviously, a lot, a lot is wrong with him. But I think this makes more sense than it seems at first glance! What people evaluating this judgement miss is why Kabru is paying attention to Laios and co to begin with.

Kabru knows of the Touden siblings because (he's a little bit of a stalker-) he is keeping an eye on all the relevant parties in events developing on the island, in order to be able to guide them to his preferred outcome. This includes adventurers because they are the ones actually exploring the dungeon! He's well aware that something as minor as internal tensions between party members could be key to the historical events that are developing. (He would love the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.)

His desired outcome is that whatever the rewards are of breaking the dungeon's curse, whether that's kingship or the ancient elven secrets of dungeons, are claimed by:

A) a short lived person

B) Someone who will be a good, effective leader and/or use those secrets and the power they carry wisely, with foresight, and to establish a political bloc for short lived people.

The person he can best trust to do this is, of course, himself. But due to his PTSD regarding dungeons and monsters, he's not able to develop the necessary skills to conquer the dungeon. Once he realises this, he starts looking for someone else who he can support to that end.

But most of the adventurers don't have any intentions of conquering the dungeon, don't have the skills, or are unsuitable in other ways. In fact, it seems like some potentially suitable people are the Toudens. There are a lot of good rumours about them going around - they actually seem to have a very positive reputation! That's what Kabru means when he says "unmask".

So when Kabru is observing something like them giving money to an old comrade from their gold-peeling days, he doesn't consider it a problem because "they're giving money to this person who doesn't actually need it" or because they must have some dark secret if they act superficially nice. I think he actually understands this situation and what it implies about Laios (in particular) perfectly well.

Laios and Falin gave money to an old comrade who got injured and couldn't work. That person then healed up but kept taking their money. Then he used the money to start smuggling illicit goods to the island.

The key is that for Kabru, the problem here is the same as with the corpse retrievers - people using the dungeon's resources to fuel dangerous, selfish, or violent pursuits cause problems for the island, attract more criminals and people with motives other than breaking the curse, and increase the chances of the whole situation ending in tragedy.

Kabru is willing to work with the Shadow Lord of the island if it gets him to his goal - he isn't scrupulous - but the criminal element of the island increasing is something he sees as a major issue.

Also, when you're evaluating someone as a candidate for power, riches, secrets, potentially kingship - then being curious about how the money you give to people is going to be used is kind of a relevant trait!

Interpersonally, Kabru's actually very easygoing - I mean, Mickbell isn't exactly an upstanding guy, is he! But Kabru likes him and they get along well. These traits wouldn't be a problem at all in a friend, or a comrade, or someone Kabru was confident he could use. But he can't get a handle on Laios, and Laios is someone who has the potential to be a major player!

On Laios' end, this is the same as with the marriage seeker who joined their party. She kept asking for things and he gave them to her, because he tries to be nice to others. He even gives her money! It's the exact same thing.

That's fine, but it became a problem because he basically wasn't interested in her motives, didn't notice she was trying to manipulate him, and it also didn't occur to him that the other party members would notice or be affected. We can assume the situation with the gold peeler is the same. When Kabru says that "It's not that they're bad people, they just aren't interested in humans," he isn't wrong.

The extent to which this is true of Laios is linked to his autism imo, (because it isn't just disinterest - he genuinely isn't able to notice nonverbal cues that people are lying to him or have ulterior motives) but to a greater or lesser extent I think it's a very common trait. Most people aren't actually that interested in other people who aren't close to them. Kabru is the weird one here. It isn't an issue except as a leader - which is why we see an immediate comparison to the Island's Lord, because that's how Kabru is evaluating them.

And disinterest in/lack of ability with people to the extent Laios exhibits it, it does, actually, make him a worse leader... it's just that as we see in the story, people can help him out. The rest of the party tell him the marriage seeker is taking advantage of him so he tells her he can't give her special treatment anymore. They're pissed and it's a crisis point - he couldn't have recovered their trust without Marcille and Falin - but that's exactly the point. With Marcille and Falin, he was able to recover their trust.

And he has other good traits that make up for it, such as his intelligence, strategic knowledge, open-mindedness and sense of fairplay.

Kabru doesn't disqualify Laios as a candidate based on what he sees about him from afar, though - he still tries very hard to get close to him, obviously hoping that if he manages he can steer Laios to defeat the dungeon and make up for his lack of people-skills in the aftermath. (Which... he does eventually achieve that goal!) He completely fails until the events of the story, so... definitely I think "They just aren't interested in humans" could also partially be a stung reaction to Laios' complete disinterest in him.

Anyway, that's my read on what exactly Kabru's "issue" with Laios is. Obviously, once he does find out what Laios' true nature is like - about his love for monsters - he develops an entirely new set of fears about Laios' priorities. But since Laios kept that a secret until the start of the story, he has no idea of that yet.

Given all that, I think it's interesting that he says that he doesn't think that the Toudens are suitable to defeat the dungeon, and that he's hoping they'll turn out to be the thieves. As some of his few potential candidates, people who he thinks may play a big role in the island's future, you'd think he'd hope they would be good people!

I suppose it's better, in his eyes, because it means that he's involved in something "interesting". They haven't just had their stuff stolen by regular criminals (boring, puts them further away from his goal) - they've been caught up in the beginning stages of "a historic event". The desperate and dwindling group forgetting morals in their quest to retrieve their lost comrade probably appeals to his sense of melodrama. Because he also just... loves drama.

Despite it being "uglier than anything he was expecting", he still pursues Laios as the person he wants to conquer the dungeon pretty much as soon as it becomes clear that he won't be able to do it himself and they are out of time. That's because... well, to be fair, there aren't any other options. And he fits standard A: he's short-lived!

and Kabru still hopes he can fit standard B, too, and be persuaded to use the power he wins for good. No matter how many nightmares he has about Laios, or whether he thinks about killing him. He doubts him, but ultimately he puts his faith in him and seems happy after the manga's ending that he made the right decision.

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #dungeon meshi meta #kabru of utaya #laios touden #labru #laios x kabru #dunmeshi #og post #kabru is such a big picture thinker. and he evaluates people more than he judges them imo #the hater jokes are funny but the people he judges most harshly arent laios and co. they're people like the island's lord.#but you don't see that as clearly because he isn't interested in the island's lord. he understands him. finds him contemptible but useful.#whereas laios lives in his brain rent free because he WANTS to understand him but doesnt quite.#even though he sees the elves as a major threat to his ultimate goals and dislikes the way they treat short lived races #he still understands and evaluates mithrun as an individual based on his own merits #he's one of the characters who is least judgemental in that sense because while he's always making judgements and evaluations #he's also constantly revising them whenever he gets more information #my beautiful machiavellian prince <3 #it's genuinely a really laudable way of understanding others imo.#the only problem is that because he's driven towards his goals by his PTSD and survivors guilt #he pushes himself into situations (the dungeon and also interpersonally) that trigger him or even just upset him #without regard for what he authentically wants or his own wellbeing.

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buggachat · 1 year

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Part 178 of my bakery “enemies” au!

baking montage!

First / Prev / Next / All

Kofi

#ml #miraculous ladybug #miraculous #marinette dupain cheng #marinette dupain-cheng #adrien agreste #adrienette #adrinette #my art #bakery enemies au #this scene is my bane apparently because I keep rearranging the parts and so #anyway remember how i took a break because i rearranged the parts so an incomplete part was wedged in #anyway i completed that part. and then i. rearranged it again. so now it's no longer wedged there and i #THIS PROBABLY DOESNT MAKE SENSE AND IS DIFFICULT TO EXPLAIN BUT I. BASICALLY A LOT OF STRESS FOR NET ZERO CHANGE #GOOD FOR ME!! 😎😎😎#also i think the spooning scene's mature mark was removed so that's cool #last part still missing though dw about it

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eternallovers65 · 4 months

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The idea of poseidon only helping percy because he saw athena not helping annabeth is so funny because it shows how messy the Greek gods are like wdym you have a millennium old beef with your niece and the only reason you saved your kid it's so you can say you're better parent than her???

#im sorry to everyone who thinks poseidon did it because he loves percy (maybe he does) but i promise you he was putting his interests first #greek gods are the selfish mfs out there and athena proved that for us they dont care that much #also as i said before even if he did that to prove to percy he doesnt need to do all of that to have his love poseidon still needs to prove-#himself a lot more and it just makes sense for greek gods to be this messy #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo tv show #poseidon #athena

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wyrmswears · 1 month

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more of this fuckass idea (jay-centric doodles this time)

a couple people said they were thinking about making fanwork based off of the purgatory administration idea.. if anyone does please please please tag me 👁👁

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aroaceleovaldez · 2 months

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It's honestly wild to me that ToA went through so much trouble to emphasize the fact that Will did not magically fix all of Nico's problems and was explicitly not Nico's only doctor.

Only for TSATS to have Will fix all of Nico's problems and have Nico be entirely reliant on him the entire book and literally helpless without him and LITERALLY have Nico's problems be magically removed.

#pjo #riordanverse #tsats crit #nico di angelo #solangelo #it doesnt make any sense too cause. in HoO we KNOW Nico was fully capable of handling himself in Tartarus #we already knew he was explicitly on his own. we know he had it worse than Percy and Annabeth did #because we are explicitly told that Nico saw Tartarus' true nature the ENTIRE TIME versus Percy only getting a tiny half-glimpse of it once #and Percy acknowledges that he would not be able to withstand actually seeing Tartarus more than he did without just dying on the spot #and Nico was down there for as long as Percy and Annabeth at least. on his own. flying blind and explicitly having it worse.#so it doesnt make sense to totally retcon Nico's ENTIRE experiences with Tartarus to make him sopping wet and pathetic about it #needing to be helped and only being down there for twenty minutes and crying the whole time #and then all of the book he's literally functionally helpless without Will for some reason. despite being in his element.#could not get more in his element than being in the Underworld. my guy literally lives there. that's his HOUSE. that's his YARD.#and he's still just totally sopping wet and pathetic in Tartarus the second time around #like im sorry. no. we literally have previously established canon indicating this is absolutely not the case #that is not something you can retcon. that is an entire major event. it was not glossed over.#unless you are doing time travel and it's a canonical retcon a la Homestuck im sorry the events of TSATS just could never occur #(not to mention Damasen is just never acknowledged in TSATS and him and Bob were absorbed by Tartarus the god and ergo dead in HoH)#(so Bob and Damasen are like. *Gone* gone. they didn't just die to be reformed later they got ERASED.)#(and Nyx sure as hell isnt gonna be the one to have Bob trapped for whatever reason. definitely not cause she hates light/change/whatever)#(nyx is literally the mother/sister [depends on version - sometimes a mitosis situation] of the personification of day? and sky?)#(and FRIENDSHIP? and the nymphs of sunset? sometimes also CHEERFULNESS? and THOUGHTFULNESS? and old age)#(ah yes the mother of concepts such as love/friendship and aging and. day. would HATE [checks notes] love/friendship changing and light)#(she INVENTED THOSE) < anyways thank u for coming to my aside rant in the tags #in parenthesis to indicate this is an aside/tangent rant. anyways i have so many problems with this plot. it just DOESNT WORK #on NO LEVEL DOES IT WORK AT ALL WITH ESTABLISHED CANON

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sneez · 1 month

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conrad veidt would make a great tragedian i think

#pathologic #conrad veidt #artwork #scopophobia #id in alt text #if any of you actually benefit from IDs id be very grateful to know if you prefer them in the alt text or in the post body!#anyway :D HIM #this is caligari-era connie obviously. i was saying this the other day but later connie would be a great saburov i think #i cant decide if i prefer the idea of him playing every tragedian or him being a very obviously incongruous tragedian who has just painted #his face to look like a mask and is hoping nobody will notice #also please ignore that the lighting doesnt make sense on the second one i used reference images lit from two different angles and didnt #notice until i had rendered it out because i always flip my canvas so often and im too lazy to fix it #anyway (part 2) i am still on my conrad veidt autism explosion and i am having a great time. i am having so much fun. i love he #i hope you are all well too my friends! term just finished for me so i am back hoam :D yaaay

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ruporas · 1 year

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pet names

[ID: Black and white comic of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. Vash overhears a conversation from a nearby table at the restaurant they're seated at, the unnamed character saying, "Honey, can you pass me that?" Their partner says, "Sure thing, angel." The unnamed character begins again, "Say, did you hear the news from earlier?" In response, "Haven't got the chance. Tell me about it?" Vash smiles fondly, listening in as the conversation continues, "You'd never guess, babe! The runner--" Abruptly, the conversation is cut in by a "Needle nogging", Vash's expression changing instantly and no longer smiling. The panel cuts to Wolfwood who smiles lop-sidedly, pointing at Vash's plate and says, "If you're not going to eat that. I'll take it." Vash grabs the plate and holds it away and says, "Mine" while Wolfwood clicks his tongue. He pauses for a moment before asking slowly, "Hey, is there any reason you don't use cute names with me?" Wolfwood lifts a cup of water up to his lips, looking confused. He says, "I do though." Vash cuts in, "Spikey and needle nogging aren't cute!"

Vash continues with a shy expression, "Since we're together now..." he trails off and Wolfwood picks up, taking a sip of water as he says thoughtfully, "Together, huh..." Vash pauses in his sentence with a look of confusion before reaffirming, "We are together, right?" Wolfwood nods, "Right." Vash says, "Right", before continuing, his shy expression returning, "Then you can use stuff like... honey or-" Wolfwood cuts in this time and says casually, "You're not a honey though." A panel cuts of Vash's expression changing again, shocked. He asks, "Huh? Then who is?" Wolfwood says immediately, "Milly." Vash exclaims, "Milly?!" Wolfwood continues, "She's sweet, just like honey." A bubble pops up of Milly smiling as Wolfwood speaks. Vash continues, "Okay, true... What about sweetpea?" Wolfwood responds, "Kids. Kids are sweetpea. And pumpkin too." Vash continues, "Okay... What about baby?" Wolfwood says without hesitation, "Meryl." Vash exclaims again, "Meryl?!" Wolfwood explains," Noisy, like a baby." Vash mutters, "Hey, that's a bit mean..."

Vash continues persistently, "Then what about babe?" Wolfwood shrugs with a grin, "You are not a babe." Vash looks at him, slightly frustrated before exclaiming with flushed cheeks, "Then what am I?!" Wolfwood points at his hair and smiles softly, "I told you. You're the one and only needle nogging." A panel closes in on Vash's widen eyes, cheeks still red, pausing before he ultimately resigns, planting his face into the palms of his hands and muttering, "I give up..." At the same time, Wolfwood sneaks and grabs the plate of food that Vash left unattended, saying in response, "You get up cuaght up about the dumbest things, y'know that?"

The comic then picks up again to a jump in time, after they've left the restaurant. Wolfwood muses to Vash, "You said all that about the names earlier, but I don't hear ya using them for me." Vash looks to him excitably and asks, "Did you want me to?" Wolfwood looks at him with an uncertain expression, "Not really, but I guess I am curious..." Vash beams, "Then let's try some, okay... dear?" He fingerguns Wolfwood with a grin, little hearts surrounding him. Wolfwood just looks at him neutrally and says, "Okay," while thinking to himself, "Cute..." Vash exclaims, "So unenthusiastic!"

The next comic picks up at a different time, but on the same theme of pet names. Vash hugs Wolfwood and says to him, "Thank you, my love." A panel close up of Vash steadily opening his eyes before he sees Wolfwood's reaction up close, his eyes glancing away, cheeks flushed, and the smoke out of his cig forming soft hearts as he mutters, "Sure..." In a smaller, cartoonish style, Vash has a comedically exaggerated expression of shock and widened eyes as he grips Wolfwood by the shoulders while Wolfwood still wears a shy expression. He then nudges his head to the side of Wolfwood's with a close eyed happy smile, hugging him close and says, "So, there WAS one you liked!" Wolfwood, still looking away, but now with an irritated and embarrassed expression, grumbles, "Shut up..."

The final image is a short sequence. Wolfwood is working on something, spacing out as he does, while Vash from off screen calls for him, starting with "Babeeee? Babe? Beautiful? Honey? My love?" All of which gets no reaction from Wolfwood. Vash pauses for a moment before piping up again, "wolfwood?" Wolfwood turns around, finally noticing that Vash was calling for him and asks, "What?" A box at the bottom of the page says, "Unresponsive to anything other than his names." END ID]

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #ULTIMATELY the most convenient is to stick to needle noggin and wolfwood because it just makes the most sense to them. i also think the way #they refer to each other is such a like.. distancing manner at first.#because i think wolfwood DID call vash by his name at first right?? i mean it was spiraling from vash the stampede to vash and then to #spikey in that one town near the beginning of maximum #i dont know how to word it but the fact they call each other these particular monikers that dont get regularly echoed by others #IN PARTICULARLY needle noggin being SO specific to vash from wolfwood really pushes in the special place wolfwood has in vash's life.#wolfwood doesnt get the name wolfwood used for him often too. hes been called priest chapel nicholas nico....#but vash uses wolfwood out of all of them. kills me every time #its just like the safest name for him. the thing about wolfwood is that it still is universally used for him too. he introduces himself as #nicholas d wolfwood to others as seen from when he first met vash.... regular citizens or kids mightv called him mr wolfwood and stuff...#so it kind of settles itself as a name for the mundane for safety for comfort.#but then they call each other by their first names in vol 10 and i . shatter sfx. needle noggin and wolfwood are so Precious to them for #each other but they're capable of using each other's first names too in such a gentle manner. i mean when vash used nicholas #it was in comforting gesture too. nicholas is who melanie and the kids know and that nicholas is still very much there even pass #the bloodshed. and when ww uses vash so his family knows of vash and his identity and the safety the name vash reflects...

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bunniebi · 2 months

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Seven @ the diner (+ my mc)

#this flashback story is soo cute i think!#its fun to read the times when theyre still friends in the past because that makes their dynamic in the present sadder <3 #sevens hair is shorter than i think its in the present bc theyre high schoolers...#infamous if #seven lawless #infamous #infamous art #digital art #infamous oc #oc - evan medina #look the perspective doesnt make sense everywhere so dont think about it <3

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hazelpuff · 4 months

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#ts2 #i'm just chilling #i got a new computer and i'm just testing sims 2 #maybe something will come out of it or maybe not we will see #i'm remaking my hood againn because i had too many hopes for my previous computer #now the hood is smaller #no pink flashing as of now where i had a lot of it before i decorated what i have here now #i havent been around a lot when the tumblr channged recently #im getting lost #i posted this before on my side blong without noticing at 1st #the lots i used aren't mine #my decorating is still all around the place(it doesnt make sense) and kinda meh #but since its put together enough to snap some pretty pictures then i'm happy #i want to stick to one hood but my old computer always forced me to give up xD #where have i been? baldurs gate :>

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wolfheadghost · 4 months

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*Confusion instilled*

The white palace takes much longer when you forget to look around and are also bad at the game

#for context: i forgot to check out sceret rooms along the way and was very pissed to be sent back to do those attempts again lol #this mini comic doesnt make sense unless you where there but i still think its kinda funny haha #sleepy scribbles #hollow knight #hk ghost #hk pale king #hk hollow #this looks different because it was made traditionally btw!!!

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mintaikcorpse · 1 month

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Me reading a fic where the person had an identidy realization that they were in he aroace spectrum and now they were figuring themselves out(I finally found something that understood me and a romance I could relate to after all these years)

#love loses! you're on the aroace spectrum and you dont fucking know what you are but you're definitely on the spectrum #but it's so hard to explain bcuz how do youve never had a real crush on someone but also have had platonic feelings for someone #and dont want to do the romance thing but also still want to have a queer platonic relationship and do romance things?#YOU DONT #IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE TO ME BUT I JUST KNOW #ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I CANT JUST GET CRUSHES ON PEOPLE IT TAKES YEARS I'VE ONLY HAD 1 CRUSH THROUGHOUT MY LIFE #AND I JUST WANTWD TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM #I thought that was just me but the author was projecting and explained perfectly what i was going through #and ik i say “I cried” a lot when talking about something but i did actually cry #had to put my phone down bcuz it felt so nice to be understood #idk just venting and rambling lol #aroace #ace spectrum #gotta keep a journal on this bcuz i want to explain to people but it's so hard for even me to grasp #and i feel like they won't believe me anyways bcuz ive tried to himt st it but i just get weird looks #its annoying but it is what it is #aromantic #asexual #lgbt #queer #talking #rambling

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t4tails · 2 months

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i think wall-e couldve been a better movie if the human race had gone extinct by the time its set and the only things still on the spaceship are robots continuing to do the things they were made for with no purpose

#og post #watched it and man it would have been so much better if the humans werent in it #the more i think about this the stronger i feel that its true like they could still do all of the longing for earth that the humans do #and the villain would make like. way more sense because they wouldnt want to bring themselves “down to humanities level” by going to earth #etc etc #and there wouldve been this extra layer to the environmentalist message that earth doesnt just matter because of humans #because it would continue on with robots at the end

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puppyeared · 7 months

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ive made myself more wet and pathetic

#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL #its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed #because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH #how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would #be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing #or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late #i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed #the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either #because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember #the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either #the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with #crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure #BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION #im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real #really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and #thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT #you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without #making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY #yapping #doodles #puppysona #edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule #and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened

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sonknuxadow · 4 months

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back at it again with the thinking about highly specific situations that will never happen . what would happen if sonic became infected with the metal virus during a time where the werehog is still around . well he would be fucked from the start because his speed is what was protecting him during the metal virus arc and hes not as fast as werehog but im more thinking of what would happen after he becomes a zombot. like is he permanently stuck as a zombot version of whichever form he was in when he became fully infected. or does he still change forms like usual. if he does still change like usual does the zombot part carry over or could he end up in a situation where he has to spend his nights as a fucked up robot zombie werewolf but can run it off in the morning. i dont know but i cant stop thinking about it now .

#im mostly thinking about this in the context of alternate universes where sonic still has the werehog form post unleashed #whether hes still changing every night or can only do it under certain conditions because obviosuly #metal virus #is not happening during unleashed . just doesnt really make sense from a timeline perspective #like i just cant see eggman trying to awaken dark gaia and also unleash the metal virus at the exact same time

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zarvasace · 6 months

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I've been doing my hair in full, tight ponytails more often thanks to a new-ish custodial job, and recently discovered that the practice broke some of my hair around my face into wispy pusedo-bangs. I resolved to do more braids instead and complained about it to my sister.

"Well," she said, "that's just a Long Hair Experience (TM)." (I'm paraphrasing, she doesn't speak like a meme.) At the time, I replied with "yeah, I guess" but after thinking about it, I think I would say something different.

I do a lot of things every day: fail to get out of bed on time, get dressed, figure out how to do my makeup for maximum impact and minimum fuss, make food, buy food, decide what to spend my time on... A lot. I don't call myself very busy, but I do fill my days with things I consider fairly important.

A message I hear over and over again is that what I do is "enough." As a visual artist, I recently got into a conversation with another artist about how I posted something they found very good and I'm not allowed to talk about how I don't think I'm very good anymore. I think there's truth in sentiments like that—what is "enough," anyway? You do need to be happy with your work. You need to enjoy what you do.

Still, that conversation left a bad taste in my mouth. I like what I make, but I want to be better. What I do might be fine. I can be satisfied with that, and not just in art, but I also... don't have to be.

I choose to be satisfied in a lot of things. I don't really work to improve my music skills because I can do what I want with what I have. I don't look up videos about how to be a better driver or a better cook. I don't worry about the zipper of my combat boots rubbing into my long socks, because I decided to not stress about it. I do consciously try to improve my art and writing skills, though, because I'm not satisfied with where they are.

In the same way, I'm always finding little things in my life to do more efficiently or with more precision. I changed my handwriting because I didn't like it. I decided to pronounce my Ss a little differently. I'm currently making an effort to wear more tights because I like them.

People often tell me that I (or my work or whatever) am enough, and I only disagree because "enough" is a flawed concept. In the spirit of the encouragement, I do agree. I can be happy where I am, with the skills and habits I have. But, like I said, I don't have to be. If I don't like something I do, I can change it. I don't have to settle for any reason.

I guess the point is: you can do just as much as you want. Happy with your stick figures? I'm glad! You go! Unhappy with them (as everyone tells me they are when they see a drawing of mine they're impressed with)? You can learn to do better, if you want to!

In my case, I don't like the little wispy bangs. Sure, it's a Long Hair Hazard, but I don't have to be satisfied with that. I don't like them, I can do something different. It doesn't have to be dramatic. I like my life overall—at least the things I can control—and I'm pretty sure it's because I've made a lot of little decisions to improve it in ways I care about. I think I've figured out that I can control a lot about my daily life, and I'm happier because of it. :) I'm going to keep doing more braids in my hair.

TL;DR: You get to decide how good you are at something. You can keep improving or stop where you are, and either is valid. You get to decide what's important to you. Don't listen to haters.

#i speak from the coffin #sorry ive been having a lot of thoughts #long post #sorry if this doesnt make sense i still feel half asleep #inspired by someone telling me i could be so much better at the organ if only...#and that person teling me im not allowed to complain that i dont feel like a good ejoigh artist because they liked my art

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