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#but i really feel like tumblr is the place where this belongs
bbshyperfixation · 1 year
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after she gets out of prison, soo-jin comes and lives with sun and kwon-ho. at first, it's slow, quiet. sun is busy getting her company back in order and rebuilding old (and new) relationships with other companies
kwon-ho is still on desk duty, but training so he can be back in the field soon. soo-jin spends her days painting and taking jindo for a walk. her days are unstructured, limitless. she tries to get settled in, spends a lot of time in the sun, but she can't shake the fear.
one day, she asks sun to train her. they're on the roof, sun demonstrating the correct way to make a fist to protect your hand and where to place your hands for maximum damage if an attacker approaches you. she asks if its ok if kwon-ho joins them to be the example
soo-jin hesitates, but eventually nods. sun takes her at her word. that's important- people taking soo-jin at her word. just as important as it is for soo-jin to learn to say what she really wants or needs. if she's uncomfortable with this, she needs to learn to say it.
kwon-ho comes out smiling, making not-so-scary attacking noises, although jindo is fooled, making a small rumbling noise in the back of her throat. that makes them all laugh. it becomes their routine in the mornings before they all go their separate ways for the day.
it's making a difference for soo-jin, they can all tell. she's getting back into hobbies she had as a girl. when she plays the cello, all of them stop and listen. riley, of course, paying special attention, but wolfgang too, surprisingly, closing his eyes and swaying with it
one day sun comes home from a hard day at work and soo-jin and kwon-ho are sitting on the couch watching a movie, sharing a blanket, bowl of popcorn between them. kwon-ho pulls her down on his lap, and she lets herself be pulled, not caring if the bowl of popcorn goes everywhere
she deadpans. 'let me up, i need to go get changed' 'no, stay' she hears behind her, soo-jin looking down at the bowl of popcorn she'd pulled into her lap. and how can she disobey the quietly-voiced desire of her first real friend?
she slides between them on the couch and adjusts the blanket around herself, grabbing a handful of popcorn. when she wakes up, hours later, tv casting silent colors over her face, her head is in soo-jin's lap and her feet are in kwon-ho's.
soo-jin's hand is still resting on sun's head, where she'd been running it softly through sun's hair. she watches as soo-jin's head slips further back onto the couch, snoring softly in this awkward position.
she feels the desire. capheus, nomi, will, wolfgang's desires, but also her own. she recalls pretty girls with unbruised hands and skirts that wouldn't get in their way and how she hadn't known if she wanted to be them or be with them.
she feels riley's appreciation of soo-jin's music, and lito's appreciation of her art, and kala's appreciation of her quiet steadiness and kindness. and all those things were her own, too.
she'll have to talk about this with kwon-ho. he knows how it is with them. jealousy doesn't make sense, /can't/ make sense, and he gets it. he gets that sun loves dozens of people in myriad ways, and she's choosing to love him, too.
but still, this is different. sun's not sure how to handle it. and then kala is there, telling her 'i get it, i know. its communication and honesty' sun nods and kala is gone with a smile. soo-jin stirs above her. 'hey, should we go up to our beds?' sun whispers
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pizzapizzadickz · 2 years
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Haaah. If yesterday is anything to base things off of I shouldnt use my headphones today bc my neck is fucked.
#friends#diary#personal#i had too much caffine yesterday i think and it felt like i was just high all day. it was horrible. i hated it.#seriously tho my neck pain made it so hard to sleep. and im so fucking tired.#ahhh im so fucking tired all the fucking time nowadays#mn. my dream tho was rly nice. yknow. in dreams its so nice bc i dont worry about the way things go or anything.#all social interaction there feels so natural and calm. its like reading a book sometimes even. it happens#or maybe even watching an anime? i never feel involved and i love it.#as soon as i exist outside of my home tho it feels so surreal to me... i just blatantly dont belong.#i feel awkward n out of place and worry that im doing something strange. and ive just given up really yeah?#when i went to high school i was always so exhausted at school. i couldnt do any work in class and i never could rly explain why.#during class i could sometimes. but i found it so hard to work. i always did. idk. i never did what i was supposed to and i got good grades#...highschool was so hard. its odd to think of it so long ago now? its odd to think i started using tumblr then. or before then?#ive tried so hard to make friends in the past. and ive given up now rly. im fine with what ive got. but anything new...#im just tired. its tiring. everything is. its so painful to think where i could be if everything wasnt so hard always...#im 23... and most of my energy is spent on barely being alive. im tired. so tired of this.#haah. i wish i could live by myself in a lil cottage. wish i could just. exist in a place and feel at ease.#rather than rn.#...ive lost so many over the last few years huh. i dont think it was bad tbh.#ive always felt like im playing at making friends.#trying to do what others expect. or trying desprately to be friends with someone.#but. in the end i dont think that was the best way. i like now better tbh.#these odd. sometimes strangely distant friendships i have. but theyre so much more fun?#rather than anxiously trying so hard. its much more fun to just be.#somehow. i think these ones are longer than my longest?#one way or another. these are better. i feel so much more calm and at ease.#god. just thinking about others is terrifying.#i think everytime i just get overstimulated for someone else. and while thats fine and dandy no one ever understood#eventually if i hang out with other ill get to a point i just cant anymore
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cherubfae · 3 months
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Omg hi! I'm a new follower and I just read your piece of the hazbin cast w/ reader having a panic attack and it was so sweet 🥺If possible could you maybe do the same cast of characters but with what they would do if the reader was on their period/period comfort?
Awww, thank you! yes!! Of course!! ☺️💘✨
taking care of you on your period || hazbin x reader
With Alastor, Lucifer, Charlie, Vaggie, Husk, Angel Dust, and Vox
tags: fluff, comfort, afab gn!reader, I decided to go with ftm for angel in this to try it out (lmk what you think!!) :3, periods in Hell are worse than on Earth I feel like that fits, suggestiveness in luci's || Minors don't interact!
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Alastor
"Oh, dear, why are you curled up on the floor in the fetal position? Are you hurt? I smell blood." Alastor coos in crackling static. He nods his head, listening to you explain despite you being facedown in said carpet. He'll procure a hot water bottle for your tummy, some aspirin, and some bitter, dark chocolate. He'll even go get one of those sugary iced coffees you love so much. Given the circumstances, Alastor may even allow you to touch his ears, but his mindful of his antlers if you know what's good for you.
Lucifer
Oh no, his poor sweetheart! The King of Hell goes full Mama Goose mode (you can see where Charlie gets it from) and hunts down whatever he thinks you may need. He'll create a little nest fort for you, spooning you from behind and nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. He's also not opposed of other ways of relief. In Lucifer's own wise words, "Bow-chick-a-wow-wow." (As long as you're up for it, he's not opposed to giving Charlie a sibling.)
Charlie
She's on it instantaneously! Running around scavaging all sorts of items from tampons to pads to candies-- she's not sure of your preferences, so she gets all of them! Only the best for her sweetie pie!! Huddles extraaaa close to you in your shared blanket cocoon, feeding you chocolates and giving you sweet nuzzles.
Vaggie
Immediately sends you off for a hot bath while she changes and washes the sheets so that they're nice, warm, and fresh. She also will prepare your favorite pajamas and snacks, digging through some films for one to watch. Vaggie will do what she can to make sure you're well-rested, hydrated, and most importantly; comfortable.
Husk
Immediately goes to the women of the hotel and asks about what sort of toiletries the hotel has to offer. He's discreet about your situation and grateful for their help. He wants you to feel better as soon as possible even if that means your symptoms haven't fully gone away yet! The scent of blood is strong on you and if he can notice you from a mile away, he's certain others have too. So, he creates a little nest for you two, the bar is closed down for the day, and cuddles you close to his chest.
Angel Dust
He'll spoon you from behind, resting his warm hand on your tummy. From what Cherri has told him, this shit's worse than when you guys were alive. Hell really does have a hard-on for torturing people. Angel will be as vigilant as he can, getting you whatever you may need, reassuring you gently that just because you have your period doesn't change who you are as a person nor how you idenitify. You're you, no matter what your body does or doesn't do.
Vox
|| I DON'T GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORKS TO BE REPOSTED, RESHARED, OR EDITED. TUMBLR IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT AND THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I POST MY WRITING. ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, THE STORY BELONGS TO ME. || CHERUBFAE © 2024
What's that? Oh, shit, that's when you-- yeah? Oh, okay got it. That sounds like that sucks. Yeah, he doesn't mind grabbing some things for you but he's a bit stiff when it comes to comfort. He knows what it is for sure and he'll do his best. Velvette might tear him a new asshole. He does genuinely want you to feel better, he doesn't like seeing you in pain. He's just a little lost.
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tainsan · 1 year
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misfits (college!ateez x reader)
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When your world comes crashing down, the only people who are able to comfort you are the notorious group, Ateez. You’ve heard rumour after rumour about the eight males who are ice cold, yet for some reason, they are the warmest people you know.
Please read me: {hello! so finally i have wrote enough for me to release the first chapter and i really hope it is good enough for the lovely people who have been patiently waiting. there will be more chapters to come in the future so please do look forward to them! just so you all know there is a few trigger warnings i have to go through so just in case you are uncomfortable with certain subjects to read with caution and with your own comfort in mind. at the start of every chapter i will put the warnings that correlate with the said chapter. in this story there are topics of swearing, depression, anxiety, ptsd, suicide, negelection and mental abuse. so if you are not comfortable reading these please either avoid this story or read with extreme caution. your wellbeing is more important than anything. 
Now like i said in my previous post, this is going to be a poly!ateez story so hence there will be future smut and suggestive themes (which i will also put in the warnings before the chapter starts) but the message in the story is very much about past trauma and finding people who can help, heal and love you despite your imperfections.
With that all said! I hope you enjoy the first chapter of ‘Misfits’ and thank you kindly for waiting. 
do not steal my work or repost on places other than tumblr. 
with thanks to @musicdork and @moraxology for the help and ideas shared with me. thank you <3
-----THIS IS AN 18+ FANFICTION MINORS DO NOT INTERACT-----
Misfits, Chapter 1
⇢ masterlist ⇠ 
⇢ next chapter
warnings: anxiety attack, swearing, mentions of a house fire.
word count: 8.8k
Heart dropping to your stomach, you attempt to make sense of the words that are displayed on the small illuminating screen sat in front of you. Devastation hits you like a ton of bricks as you realise once again, it feels like the world is trying to punish you. Reading over the email once again, you let out an exasperated groan and let your head fall down onto your arms relaxing on the table.
“You’re homeless?” Your best friend almost screeches, scanning over the email present on your small laptop screen. 
“Okay a little louder Jisung and the aliens on the Saturn will fucking hear you,” You react, your voice muffled by your clothes.
“What happened? I thought your place was in one of the nicer areas?” 
Looking up from the desk, you see Jisung peering at you with a concerned expression.
“Do you remember those new tenants that moved in below me?” you ask, causing Jisung to nod his head, "Well they accidentally started a fire, and it burnt down half of the place because the owners weren’t smart enough to install fire hydrants around the residence.
“Isn’t it illegal to not have designated fire hydrants in a building?” 
“Probably, I mean that’s what I get for going for the cheapest available housing I could find, they say it's going to take at least a year to repair the damage.”
"Are all of your belongings okay?" 
"Not really, I managed to save most things like my books and some clothes but everything else is burnt. They say they are going to give me some money back for the damage, but I doubt it’ll be much."
"Then where are you staying now?"
"Yeji said I could stay with her for a few days, but she has a roommate moving in soon, so I have to get out before the end of this week."
"You have to start looking for a place to live __, I wish I could help you," 
Jisung lives with his boyfriend and friends in great student accommodation, there are only four rooms, yet they manage to fit eight grown men in there. Sadly, there's simply not enough space for another person.
“I’m aware of that, but all the school properties are full, and I’ve seen no flyers from people searching for roommates. There’s no way I'm looking for housing outside of the area, I would have to sell both my kidneys to afford a month's worth of rent. This apartment was the only place that was in my budget if I didn't want a roommate. At this point, I should probably start looking for a nice cosy bridge to live under.” 
Jisung lets out a stifled laugh before quickly covering his mouth realising the two of you are residing in a library. Being in a secluded area, noise isn’t really a problem, yet three other people are sitting near you, resting on the opposite side of the large wooden table. Two huddled next to each other, sharing a laptop, likely watching YouTube and one with striking blonde hair resting his head on his arms, undoubtedly sleeping.
“How many days until you have to move out?” Jisung inquires, laying his head on his hand and gazing at you. 
“Uh, I think like a week,” 
“Oh, so it’s not like you have to move out right now,” your best friend replies, a calm smile covering his features.
“Yeah, but I doubt that somebody is abruptly going to need a roommate out of nowhere,” 
Then, you hear rustling, then suddenly the guy who was sleeping on your table abruptly stands up, grabs his things, and rushes out of the library. 
“Probably had a nightmare or something,” Jisung chuckles, lighting up your mood.
“When’s your next lesson?” You ask, hoping he doesn't have to leave too soon. 
Observing as Jisung whips out his phone and looks at the time, he lets out a sigh.
“Starts in seven minutes, it takes like five minutes to walk there. I better get going,” Jisung replies, grabbing his books and laptop.
“Must you leave so soon? You can’t leave me here to tutor for three hours straight.” You let out a fake cry and hang onto his arm, pleading for him to stay. 
“You're the one who wanted the extra credit, don't blame me!” 
Bickering for a minute more, you eventually let Jisung get to his class, the two others across the table departing as well, leaving you alone.
Grumbling to yourself, you wonder why you even offered to tutor people, the extra credit is little to nothing. Alas, it’s too late to back out now as you have two people arriving soon. Typically, you only take people who you know personally, but Jisung’s boyfriend, Minho, said two of his classmates requested him to ask you to tutor, telling him they really needed assistance in maths. You hope they are pleasant because you are not about to be spending the next three hours with two arseholes.
You also typically only take one person at a time but due to your current tight schedule, you decided to just do two at once. You need the time later to look for new places to live anyway. The unknown two needed teaching in the same subject at least, works out fine.
Returning to your laptop you start typing, trying to finish as much of your lab report as you can before they show up.
“No Yeosang said she was around this corner.” 
A hushed voice breaks you out of your concentration, yet you pay no interest and hurriedly get back to typing.
“You’re __ right?” A monotone voice speaks out from your left.
You turn upon hearing your name and see a guy standing next to where you are sitting. Quickly you scan over his face, noticing the way his cheeks display small dimples as his face shifts and the slit in one of his eyebrows.
“I’m San, Minho told you about us, right?” 
Noting the way he said ‘us’, you turn fully backwards and see a noticeably built man standing by San, his face holding little to no emotion as he stares blankly towards you. In your mind, you hope these aren’t the two you are tutoring, noticing how intimidating their presence is.
“We are here for tutoring lessons,” the unnamed person speaks, and you curse upon your luck.
“Oh right, you can take a seat where you’d like.”
You mentally cuss out Minho for not informing you about how intense and handsome his classmates were, you let out a scoff under your breath as you start to pull out your maths textbooks.
“So, what were your guy's names, I’m not too good with names so if I forget, please don't take it personally,” you shyly confess, hoping they are not going to take it the wrong way. You detect the way some sort of stunned expression goes across their faces, but it disappears as soon as it had appeared.
“I’m Choi San, good to meet you.” San nods in your direction, his emotions still unreadable, a subtle glare still present along his features.
“San, I see. You too,” You mumble, slightly scared by his strong character. You attempt a small smile and shake his hand, trying to ignore the way you feel his eyes boring into your skull. Moving your attention to the man sitting next to him, you smile gently, noticing the way his cheeks are dusted with a light pink colour.
“Choi Jongho,” He reaches out his hand and you gladly take it, feeling slightly less intimidated by the seemingly kinder man.
Replying with your own name, you realise they already knew it, making you curse yourself for the sheer awkwardness emitting from your body as you notice Jongho and San are neither looking at you.
Slightly glancing up at you, San notices your flustered state and a faint smile ghosts his face.
Shaking off your clumsiness rapidly, you start to focus on the task at hand.
“So, what are you two looking to go over today?” you ask, opening your notebook that was conveniently placed in front of you. What you don’t expect is Jongho and San immediately look at each other with wide eyes, almost as if they are taken aback by the question.
“You guys don’t know what you want to go over?” 
“No, sorry, we have been having problems with our two recent algebra assignments.” Jongho replies, his tough exterior cracking ever so slightly as he ruffles his black hair. 
“Okay then,” you answer, a little puzzled at the two's sudden and strange gestures, yet you pay no mind to it as you reach into your backpack to grab your mathematics textbook. You’ve seen much stranger things in this college anyway.
When you proceed with the session you are surprised by the two men sitting in front of you. Although being very intimidating, the two are very good listeners and attentive to everything you say or do. Writing notes and nodding at almost every word you say. After an extensive explanation, you let Jongho and San try to solve a practice question. During this time, you take the time to admire the two in front of you. You can see they are extremely close by the way their bodies face each other naturally, and the way they look at each other. Meanwhile, you can’t help but wonder why you haven't seen them on campus before. Certainly, you would've heard or seen something about these two very good-looking men, knowing how much the people here like to gossip. Well after all, you have never been one for gossip and fangirling over the popular campus heartthrobs. Brushing your thoughts to the side, you start to read over the same page for the fifth time.
After the second hour, it intrigues you how smart they are, only needing you to once go over something and they already have the answer or even occasionally you swear you see one of them write an answer without you describing how to find it. Perhaps they are fast learners? Due to the fact, they are so quick, it only takes two of the three hours for you to cover everything they wished to go over, and their assignments are almost finished, just needing the final touches.
"There we go,” you exclaim, stretching your arms over your head, letting out a content groan as you let your back straighten up, "if you need future help, you can always call me." Even though it’s perhaps pretentious to offer this to such tough guys, you’re happy to be able to have such good students who actually listen. Unlike your last session which you spent way too many hours on.
Jongho looks up from his laptop with a wide eye look, "that’d be helpful," 
"Can you take my number?" San holds his hand open, expecting your phone and you are shocked at his utter forwardness. Even though you know it’s not intended in a flirtatious way, your heart quickens at the gesture, never having been asked for your number before. 
Passing your phone to the male in front of you, you notice San observing the Sanrio stickers stuck to the back of it. The male lets out a short burst of air through his nose, and you don’t know whether he’s mocking you or scoffing. As you look at him to analyse his reaction, you see a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, but it doesn’t seem in a taunting way. You continue staring at him as he puts his number into your phone.
Unexpectedly he looks up and straight into your investigating eyes, catching you by surprise, immediately looking away from him and at the open book in front of you pretending to read it, even though you know he knows you have already read over the page multiple times in the past ten minutes.
“Wait, what time is it?" Jongho asks San. Watching San pull out his phone, you see a glimpse of his phone case, it looks something like a character, but you can’t see it as he places his phone face up on the table.
"Quarter to twelve," San responds, his phone screen lighting up for a split second, you manage to catch a quick sight of his lock screen. It appears to be a group photo, with numerous faces smiling brightly at the camera. So, they have more friends.
"We have about thirty minutes till ecology, do you want to go to the canteen?" Jongho questions as he begins to put his belongings into his bag. 
"I could use a snack,” San answers, stretching back into the chair, his arms above his head just as you did earlier.
"Coming with us?" Jongho asks as he stands up from his chair and pushes it back beneath the table.
Bewildered by the question, you wonder as to why they want you to come when they have been nothing but distant this entire time. Glancing back at your unfinished lab report displayed on your laptop, you feel conflicted. Yet a break from the tedious work would be rather nice. There's no harm in pulling another all-nighter.
"I could also do with something to eat," Your smile is bright as you stuff your laptop into your bag, happy to have a reason to escape the tedious work on the small screen of your laptop. 
It is a rather fast walk to the canteen; it is conveniently on the same wing as the library. Expecting the canteen to be full to the brim of students getting lunch, you’re surprised to see the canteen completely empty. You are rather pleased with the serenity of the canteen, feeling at ease that there are no judging eyes watching your every move. Pacing over to the cooled section of food, your footsteps echo in the large room, then you notice San and Jongho trailing after you, looking quite lost. 
"Have you guys never been to the canteen before or something?" You inquire, chuckling at their antics before grabbing a carton of banana milk and an apple.
"It's not particularly our scene, we eat our meals at our place." San answers, staring down at the banana milk in your hand. So, they live together, it makes sense seeing how close they are.
“You guys don't live in student buildings?” You question, that does explain why you've never seen them around, knowing most people who reside in the student dorms. You resume walking towards a table to sit, you grab two more banana milk before sitting down and popping a straw into your drink.
"No, we live near the new park, Eastwood Drive," Jongho replies.
This information almost makes you spit out your drink. Eastwood is not only part of a huge real estate area but one of the richest areas near our school. Absolutely no students would be able to afford that. It's an area full of houses like mansions or condos bigger than a regular house.
"Are you okay?" Jongho asks, hurriedly rushing to your side and patting your back, San chuckles at the scene and passes you a bottle of water from his seat. 
"Yes, I'm fine," You say between coughs, "thank you," you take a gulp of water from the bottle before handing it back to him.
"Sorry it's just, how on earth do you afford that house there's no way you guys just have it. Did you have to sell your soul to the devil or something?" 
Both males let out soft laughs and for the first time you see something other than scowls on their faces, instead replaced by gentle amusement.
"No, we didn't, one of our roommates' mothers is the owner of the real estate and she lets us live there," San answers your question.
"We do still have to pay rent, which is above average, but it's not anything like the rent we would have to pay if we were actually living there," Jongho adds, "plus we have quite a few roommates, so it's spread out pretty evenly." So, they have multiple roommates.
"I see," you hum as you let the information in. Of course, they have several roommates, the house is big enough for ten people, most likely. 
"And you?" Jongho questions looking at you. His expression is back to his resting face, until he realises his question, eyes going wide he continues, “not in a creepy, I'm sorry please don't take it the wrong way!" he rambles on. 
Laughing out, you wave your hands in a friendly way to dismiss his thoughts.
"No no, it's okay," you chuckle, not really sure how to explain to them that your house was recently made into a fresh stock of charcoal.
“It's kind of complicated I'll be honest," you start, San and Jongho’s expressions twitch in curiosity, "Well I was living at Coast Lane," 
"Oh, the one near the shopping centre?" Jongho inquires. You nod your head back in confirmation.
"Wait but wasn't that place burnt down a few days ago?" San asks, looking at Jongho and then back at you with a worried look. Their hearts fill with worry for you.
"Yep," you say, popping the p at the end, "that's why I said I was living," you say looking down, chucking dryly.
"Where are you living now then?" San asks, his voice laced with something similar to worry. 
"I'm staying at a friend's house, but they are getting a new roommate at the end of this week, so I need to move out by then." 
"Have you found anywhere to live yet?" Jongho questions, looking sorrowful. You are surprised by the amount of worry you suddenly feel from San and Jongho. However, you shake your head as 'no' and proceed to take another sip of your drink. 
"I have an idea." San abruptly says standing up from his chair, catching your and Jongho's attention, "Excuse me I have to talk to someone, Jongho. Joong." 
Jongho's eyes light up with some sort of awareness and he also rapidly stands from his chair, leaving you even more confused, unsure where the sudden energy comes from, you also wonder who the fuck 'Joong' is and why do they need to see him so suddenly. 
"See you soon, __.” Jongho’s smile is warm and contagious, he then turns to leave with the taller man.
"Wait, guys!” You exclaim, "here," you hand them both a cartoon of banana milk that you grabbed earlier. "Drink these, you can't focus if you're dehydrated, " you say, heat rising up from your chest. 
Both of the men look at you shocked at the kind gesture, surprised someone actually cares about their well-being. Giving you a thank you, the two men leave with red subtly covering their cheeks, both trying to immediately force it away before someone sees them with a giddy expression.
 ----
"Then they just stood up and left," You replay the events from earlier today to Jisung, who is sipping on a mojito. After the busy day you both shared, Jisung and you decided to go to a bar that recently opened not too far from campus. It is small and cosy, not too full of people, mostly students from your school rewinding from the day, just like you.
"Psycho behaviour," Jisung jokes whilst you take a sip of your drink. Laughing, you push Jisung's arm gently.
"I don't know, they were certainly intimidating but I could tell they were okay people," you exclaim truthfully. If you said that the three hours you spent with the two weren't pleasant you’d be lying.
"Do you have a crush on them or something?" Jisung inquires, rather loudly, getting far too excited. Hoping that no one heard him through the low jazz music resounding in the small bar, you quieten down your best friend quickly by covering his mouth with your free hand.
"Ji the entire bar does not need to know about my personal endeavours, and no I do not have a crush on them, they are just simply cute," you say exasperated.
“So, you do find them cute! The last time you had a crush as back in high school, this is big news,”
“There is no news dumbass, they are just cute. I find kittens cute, and I don’t want to date them.”
Jisung’s face contorts into a mixture of disgust and humour.
"Wait, what are their names?" Jisung questions his voice back to a reasonable volume.
"Choi San and Choi Jongho, I've never even heard of them, to be honest. You'd think I would've seen these handsome men bef, what is with that look on your face?" you stop your ramble as you see the very obviously shocked look on Jisung's face. 
"Are you fucking serious?" Jisung says slowly.
Confused, you simply answer, "yeah they needed help with maths. it was your boyfriend who set the tutor session up."
"Yeah, because they probably threatened him?" Jisung says tensing up.
"What do you mean threatened, they were huge sweethearts," you say amused at Jisung. Your laughing momentarily halts when you see the serious look on Jisung's small face.
"What is it?" 
"___, Choi San and Choi Jongho are part of that group." 
Your baffled expression remains on your features, clearly unfazed by this information.
"What is that like a cult or something?" you joke.
"Girl, are you living under a fucking rock? Ateez, the group called Ateez. The super scary ones practically haunt this school. I'm surprised they talked to Minho. I'm pretty sure he's going to be scarred now."
Slowly but surely, your brain starts to put things into place.
"Wait, that group Sola told us about?”
As Jisung confirms your question, you feel the hairs on the back of your neck rise. A few months ago, you had been told by some classmates about them briefly, they were talking rather loudly about them. Apparently, they had done some terrible things when they were in high school then just disappeared for a few years. Most people thought they dropped out or moved abroad. The year they returned, they started this university out of nowhere together and have been a notorious group ever since, being known for staying foul and bitter towards everyone except themselves. Yet, nobody seems to know the reason for their ice-cold hearts. You never really bothered to keep up with the rumours or gossip, it wasn’t necessary for you to know, however you start to think maybe you should pay more attention due to your recent interaction with two of the people in the group.
"But they were nice?" your question, more to yourself than to Jisung.
"I don't know about you, but you probably got the wrong people." 
You don't believe Jisung is lying but at the same time… The two men you had tutored earlier today were definitely not members of the notorious group. 
Surely not. 
Yes, they were intimidating, but nowhere near as bad as anything people say about them. From what you've heard about the group, they are cold, heartless, selfish, and miserable. Staying only in the group of eight, others not even daring to look them in the eyes as they pass them.
"If they were the people that you were tutoring yesterday, you may have gotten yourself into something you can't get out of. They have hundreds of fangirls, who are very possessive over them and people who want them dead. I don’t know of a single person who is fond of them. It’s best if you stay far away from them." Jisung says with a nervous expression. 
Unexpectedly, his phone lights up and you see Minho's caller ID appear. Jisung glances back up at you with a questioning look, requesting if he can take it.
"Go ahead," you push your smile and watch as he leaves to find a quiet place.
Your heart beats heavily against your chest and you feel your throat tighten. ‘Come on’ you think, this isn't the best place for you to have an anxiety attack. Possibly, it's that the new information is far too overwhelming. You are barely keeping up with your classes, your apartment just burnt down, and now you’re somewhat engaged with an apparently dangerous group that has no good stories. Feeling your breathing getting jagged and your heart getting heavier by the second, you attempt to focus on your breathing. Trying to remember the breathing exercises your mother taught you when you were younger, you attempt breathing in deeply, but it doesn't work, leaving you to breathe in and out in a fast manner. It's okay, it's okay. You repeat yourself, in an attempt to comfort yourself, but your brain is yelling 'it's not okay, look how stupid you've been and got yourself into a senseless situation again. Fucking idiot'. You put your head in your hands and start gently rocking on the barstool, tears threatening to fall out of your eyes. Unexpectedly, a presence appears next to you and before you know it, their warm hand is rubbing up and down your back in a soothing manner. 
"Shh it's okay, it's all going to be okay." a deep voice speaks from your right. You don't care to look up, only basking in the way the figure's hand caresses your back in a comforting way. To your surprise, it works miracles. Your breathing is back to a reasonable state within the next minute. Only then do you look up from your hands, your eyes lock with a beautiful man. He wears a comforting smile, his eyes full of sympathy and something else you can't quite put your finger on, his hand not slowing on your back. Trying to smile back at him, you wipe the tears you didn't even know had fallen, with the sleeves of your sweatshirt before regaining the words to speak.
"I'm sorry you had to see that," you say, abruptly embarrassed that a very handsome man just had to see a small breakdown of yours. 
"It's perfectly okay. I've had enough anxiety attacks to know you can't control where you have them." the man admits, scratching the back of his neck with an awkward smile on his face. The voice of the man is deep, yet soft, making you feel awfully relaxed.
"You have anxiety?" you ask, sniffling your nose.
The man chuckles and looks down at his hands, "longer than I can remember, yeah," he looks back up at you, "rubbing my back is how my friends comfort me, so I hope it somewhat worked for you too." 
"It worked amazingly, it's actually how my mother used to comfort me," you express, still slightly ashamed to be sharing this information with a stranger, let alone such a good-looking one. Yet knowing he goes through the same things as you, comforts you more than you realise. The male looks around him, almost as if he’s worried someone will see him, he then looks back down to your smaller figure which is closer to him than he remembered. Clearing his throat, he steps away a little bit, concerned you would feel uncomfortable with the closeness of your bodies. 
“I do need to go now, but it was nice to meet you," The man says whilst leaving the barstool to your right. Not sure why, but you feel sad that he has to leave so soon. Feeling so relaxed around a stranger has you shocked, wishing you could stay with this unknown feeling.
"Thank you," you say, grateful to have him there for you.
"Anytime.”
"I’ll see you around." You return his smile.
Nodding his head, he gives one last smile before departing the bar's exit, a growing smile adorning his features as he exits the bar.
“Hey I’m back.”
Whipping your head to the left, you see Jisung sitting back in his stool. Opening your mouth to tell him about what just happened, you attempt to get the words out but for some reason, you are unable to find the words. Not wanting to worry your best friend with your sudden onset anxiety attack, you decide to stay quiet.
What are these unexplainable encounters you've been having with handsome men recently?
----
Climbing over bags and coats, you find a seat in a calmer area of the stadium you just arrived at. Spotting Minho in the field doing some warm-ups with his team, you feel relaxed to see someone you know. When he sees you, he waves happily. Smiling, you reach for your phone to quickly text Jisung asking where he is. All of a sudden, a rush of cold air gets swept in by the wind, causing you to freeze up. Never liking the cold, you debate heavily at this moment whether you should just leave. However, you travelled all the way from Yeji’s to here in the cold. It seems like a waste to just go back, even if it freezes you to death to stay. After all, you need to support Minho, him being one of your only friends, for the football game. Jisung is supposed to be joining you but you’re sure he's busy picking out a cute outfit to swoon Minho. 
Over the past few days Jisung has been trying to teach you the names of Ateez so you know to run if they approach you. Seemingly stupid, but you do need fewer distractions in the hope to graduate with honours. From what Jisung has told you, there are eight members, and they are all of similar age, the youngest being in the same classes as he managed to skip a year due to him exceeding the level of people his age. However, Jisung teaching you their names doesn’t really stick to you, never being good at names it doesn’t help that you don’t know what they look like. It would be much easier learning their names if you actually had photos so you can put a name to a face, but of course they don’t have Instagram accounts, and if they saw people taking photos of them, they’d likely murder you on the spot. Or that’s what Jisung says.
You are suddenly brought out of your thoughts when a voice sounds in your ears.
“Could I sit here?” a soft, yet deep captivating voice speaks out. 
Curiously, you look to your left to see who the owner of the voice is. Surprisingly, you see a blonde male with a mask covering his face. He is standing next to the seat where you have placed your bag, and you realise he is asking for the seat.
“Oh yes, of course, sorry,” you hurriedly grab your bag and place it between your legs, allowing the male to take a place next to you.
“Thank you,” he says, a very small smile on his lips. When he sits down, he takes off his mask, and you glance at him one more time, taking in his visuals. With his fluffy hair and red tinted cheeks and a small mark of pink next to one of his eyes, he is truly a work of art. Yet, for some reason, you can't help but feel like you've seen him before.
“I'm sorry have I met you before, you seem really familiar?” you ask inquisitively, not being able to match a name to a face.
“We may have run into each other once or twice,” the blonde male puts his hand out for a handshake.
Gladly taking his hand in yours, you shake with a small smile on your face.
“It is a small world, I'm __.” 
The male takes his hand away and back into his coat pocket, shivering in the icy air.
“Are you Jisung's girlfriend?” he questions.
Rolling your eyes, slightly annoyed at the question, you go to answer. It has been thousands of times that people have asked about your and Jisung's relationship, mistaking you for a couple and not just a couple of friends. After a while it gets rather irritating, the question being asked countless amounts of times.
"No, we aren't, we are just best friends, I'm pretty sure Jisung came out as gay like two years ago. Plus, he's literally dating the quarterback, Lee Minho." you chuckle slightly.
"Oh sorry! I didn't mean to offend you in any way." 
"No! It's really okay, it's just I get asked a lot, so it becomes annoying after a while. I mean look at Jisung, he has baby girl written all over him." 
“Cold?” he questions.
The blondie next to you lets out a small chuckle acknowledging the man you are always with isn’t your boyfriend.
Sensing a gaze on you, you turn back to the blonde male whose eyes are looking at the goosebumps on your exposed arms.
“I probably should’ve brought at least a jumper. I've been so wrapped up with exams and tutoring I’ve been forgetting everything,” you say, laughing slightly, embarrassed that you went outside wearing just a t-shirt in the middle of November.
The male lets out a laugh before speaking, “it’s okay, I understand. If I’m being honest, I've also been having so much struggle with studying, my stress is all over the place.” He wonders for a second why he even shared this with you, concerned for a second you will see him in a bad light.
“I'm sorry to hear that.” you contemplate for a moment, “Look I have these if you want,” reaching into your pocket, you grab some rescue drops. “These help me a lot,”
You place the small bottle in his hand, and a giant smile covers his face. “What? I’ve actually been looking for these everywhere and I can never find them! They’ve been sold out in every shop.” Blondie looks back up at you, “but you have anxiety you need these more than me,” 
Pausing for a second, you wonder how he knows you have anxiety, nonetheless, you continue “It’s perfectly fine, Jisung’s parents work at a pharmacy back in my hometown and they send me a few of these whenever they are in stock, you can keep them.” you inform him, his smile brightening your cold mood shockingly fast. You’re not even sure why you gave him them, it was your last bottle. You guess that’s what happens when you are a people pleaser. The smile on the male’s face only grows wider, his heart jumping at your kind action.
“Thank you so much __,”
“It’s no worries, if you ever need some more, look for the loud group of small guys acting like four-year-olds.” you laugh, and he chuckles along with you, making a mental note, even though he knows he will likely never approach the group.
Before you can focus back on the starting game, you feel a soft material cover your shivering body. It is a large zip-up that smells of rich, sweet perfume. Turning quickly to the blonde guy with confusion covering your features, you hurriedly dismiss the action, seeing his arms exposed to the winter air.
“I can’t take this; you’ll get too cold.” you stop your words as he pulls out another sweater from his bag. 
“I've got my friend’s sweater, you keep mine until you’re warm.” he turns to face the game, "or until Jisung sees and freaks out and tells everyone you have a secret boyfriend." he jokes.
“You seem to know Jisung?” you ask, wondering how he knows Jisung’s personality quite well.
“Well, we know each other, but we aren’t particularly friends,” blondie turns fully towards you, “are you sure you don’t know me at all?”
“I'm sorry but I really only have like two friends, I don't really go out.” 
“But Jisung is super popular, aren't you in his huge partying friend group?”
“Not really, his friends are lovely but I’m only close with him and his boyfriend, I'm not too good at making friends.” you quietly mumble the last part. You look over at the blondie and see he has slight confusion on his face.
“You are so kind, I’m sure anyone would want to be your friend." 
"You’d be the first to think that" you dryly admit, which causes the male to feel a twinge of pain and guilt in his heart, "I would rather stay inside all-day binge-watching television whilst eating away my stress,"
"Well, that’s one thing we have in common." 
Sharing a warm smile with him, you start to get lost in your thoughts again, but then you realise a question you never returned.
“I’m so sorry I never got your name.”
“No worries, I’m Yeosang.” he has the same smile on his face, making you feel warm despite the bitter winter air. Then his familiarity dawns on you.
“Kang?” you inquire, your voice rising ever so slightly.
“That’s me,” he smiles at me, and you don't know if your heart rises because of how beautiful his smile is or because you recognise the name from Jisung’s teaching session with the members of Ateez.
“Like from Ateez,” you question, watching your words, if Ateez is as bad as Jisung is saying then you definitely need to watch your words.
Yeosang turns to you, almost looking baffled.
“I thought you didn't know about Ateez?” he questions, shocked.
“What made you think that?”
“Just a guess I suppose, being that you don't really go out I assumed you weren’t really interested in the groups and stuff.” 
“Ah well not particularly, but recently I suppose I’ve gotten to know about it better.”
“You're not scared, are you?” you see Yeosang tense up a little, his eyebrows furrowed. He hopes for the best, not knowing how you will react. Surprisingly, your heart softens at this question, he seems upset for some reason, as if he doesn't want to be seen this way. You feel bad for ever acting stressed towards him.
“Don't worry, the only person that scares me is Jisung when he's hungry.” you joke out, relaxing the tension and calming him. From what you can see, Yeosang is just kind and calm. The only thing that's menacing about him is the fact he’s drop-dead gorgeous.
Yeosang lets out a small chuckle, “well I guess now I know I need to avoid Jisung if he’s hungry,”
You agree with the blonde man, whilst lightly laughing.
“Wait, but why are you watching? Aren’t you supposed to be on the pitch?” You ask him, confused, remembering Jisung informing you that Yeosang is a part of one of the school's football teams, along with someone else whose name you can’t remember at the moment. For a moment Yeosang’s chest fills with pride, knowing you know something about him.
“Someone is taking my spot today, I was told to analyse the opposing team to find out their habits and stuff, hence the notepad.”
Looking down, you notice the small notepad with doodles all over the cover, making your heart swell. Yeosang continues to talk,
“Don’t tell my tactics to Minho,” he jokes with a grin on his face, knowing Minho is on the other team.
“I would never betray you like that,” you place your hand over your chest acting offended. 
Both cracking up, you speak up again, “don't worry, your secrets are safe with me.”
“Sang!” You hear a voice call from the left, and your eyes lay on another attractive man, “Coach told us to sit with him,” this male also has a notepad in his grip. 
You know this guy. He works in a small café not too far from campus, it is down a narrow alleyway, covered by vines and moss. It was a very hidden spot and only locals really knew the place. Only knowing it because you walked past it every day for a year as the alleyway was a shortcut to your housing from the campus. Barely anyone goes there, the regulars being either old women or businesspeople quickly rushing in to get a coffee before work starts. Back at the beginning of the semester, you used to go to the café a lot because of the raspberry muffins, yet they stopped selling them thus forth you stopped going as much. It was also due to the fact you had barely any time to sleep, so you cut it out of your morning schedule to be able to sleep in a little. You think the guy’s name was Wooyoung if you can remember his name tag correctly. You notice he sees you sitting next to Yeosang, with his friend’s hoodie over your shoulders and a smile consumes his entire face. 
“Muffin?” he looks confused, yet somewhat glad to see you once again. The nickname extremely takes you aback. “Why did you stop coming to the café?”
As far as you can recall, back when you visited the café, this server was rather distant and limited to saying little to no words whilst waiting. Seeing him like this confuses you severely. Alas, you let out a giggle and both of the boys' grins widen visibly.
“You two better get going, I'm not sure your coach wants to wait any longer.” 
Yeosang stands up and straightens out his pants before turning to you,
“Hopefully I’ll see you around.” he smiles warmly. Smiling back at him, you nod. Yeosang starts to leave with Wooyoung before he turns around.
“I better see you at the café tomorrow! Plus, that sweater looks good on you, Muffin.” he winks and Yeosang slaps the back of his head.  You can’t help but giggle yet feel flustered. 
Yeosang and Wooyoung walk towards the coach’s section, Yeosang slightly more affected than the male next to him. Hopefully he will get his hoodie back, and hopefully it will smell like you. After this interaction, your mind was even more confused. If you remember correctly, Yeosang and Wooyoung have a very big reputation for being some of the rudest and coldest towards people. Yet they were so friendly when you were with them. Is everything all these people are saying about them true or maybe the group of eight is just deeply misunderstood?
Whatever it is, you need to talk to Jisung about this, but you will wait until the game is over.
----
The night of the interaction between Yeosang and Wooyoung, Jisung, Minho and you reside at their apartment, eating chicken and watching a shitty romcom for background noise. The rest of his roommates are out celebrating the start of the football season. You have no idea why it started mid-way through November but okay.
“I said I would come; they were too sweet to say no to!” You exclaim, throwing your head back against the couch, regretting saying yes. 
“It was definitely Yeosang and Wooyoung?” Minho questions, not believing any part of my story.
“Yes! Yeosang has the birthmark next to his eye like Ji described and Wooyoung was the guy who works at that one café I used to go to all the time,”
“Well, I never knew Wooyoung worked at a café, that doesn't really match the hardcore scary image they are going for, are you sure you’re not going delusional?” Jisung admits, chuckling.
“What are you going to do?” Minho questions, passing you a drumstick. 
You take a big bite, before speaking, “I should just go, if I don't show up, they might murder me as you two say. Which is very unbelievable seeing how fucking cheerful they’ve all been.”
“Well, you’ve only met four, the rest are probably a nightmare,” Jisung says, his mouth full of chicken, Minho humming in agreement next to him.
“You two are supposed to be comforting me.” you groan, throwing your head into your hands. 
“Okay, don't worry __, if they have been as nice as you’ve been saying then just show up and if they aren't nice then call Chan and Changbin and I’m sure they will gladly sort them out for you.” Minho laughs.
 ----
Keeping your promise, you showed up at the café the next day. 
Opening the painted door, the bell rings notifying your entrance. Immediately you spot Wooyoung relaxing against the counter, scrolling through his phone, visibly bored. There are only a few people in the café, mostly reading books or typing on laptops. You see a flash of pink hair in the corner, yet you lose focus as quickly as you had it as you continue to walk further in.
“Welcome to Veranda Café,” Wooyoung says unbothered, still staring at his phone as you walk closer to where all the cakes were on display. Much to your dismay, you fail to see a raspberry muffin on display.
“I see you still don’t have any raspberry muffins.” You speak out in front of where Wooyoung is standing, making his head immediately snap up.
“__! I was starting to worry you weren't going to show up.” He exclaims, a contagious smile wide on his face. Immediately putting his phone in his pocket, giving his attention to you. He leans on the counter. Extremely happy you showed up.
“I never break my promises,” you grin at the black-haired man.
“Oh, one moment.” He speaks out excitedly, like a puppy, and turns to where he was sitting. Opening up a small fridge, he brings out the biggest, most beautiful raspberry muffin you have ever seen.
“Yeosang and I made this morning for you.” he gestures over to the corner, and you see the blonde male from yesterday, he is sitting next to someone, yet you can’t see them from where you’re standing. Yeosang shyly waves and you smile and wave back. Heart beating faster and cheeks warming up, you take the muffin happily. Wooyoung smiles brightly at you, feeling prideful at the way your eyes light up from the muffin.
“We stopped making these muffins because the owner didn’t think anyone was buying them, it made me upset because I knew you liked them,” Wooyoung says, making direct eye contact with you, making you weak at the knees. Wondering how he even remembered you, you still feel thankful he thought of you, even if it was a long time ago.
“It’s a shame but I'm sure there are lots of other tasty things here too. Anyways, thank you so much, you guys are the best.” you say, sincerity dripping in your words. Wooyoung just shrugs like he doesn't care, but the big smile on his face and the redness dusting his ears tells a different story.
“How much do I owe you?” you ask, getting out your purse.
Swiftly, Wooyoung grabs your hand halting its actions, “it’s on us, for being so kind, Yeosang and one of our friends really needed those rescue drops.” He lowers his voice, “between us, their anxiety has been really bad recently, and the stuff works wonders. Plus, you were always my favourite customer anyways.” Wooyoung admits, smiling, his cheeks get a deeper colour of red. Your heart warms up once again, which is strange to you. You haven't felt this happiness in a very long time. Maybe things are starting to get better. Happily taking the muffin, you make your way to Yeosang who is reading a book.
“Do you mind if I sit here?” you inquire, repeating his words from yesterday, yet when your eyes meet the figure sitting next to him, they light up as you recognise him.
“I know you!” You exclaim, a little too loudly, causing people around you to glare in your direction. Feeling overwhelmed by the sudden attention, you quickly sit down in a shielded area, away from all the glares. 
“You two know each other?” Yeosang asks, intrigued by your sudden remark.
“It is you, right?” you ask just in case you’re mistaking him for another pink-haired male.
The tall male smiles widely, “Yeah, it’s me. I’m Mingi,” he turns to Yeosang, who is visibly confused, “we met briefly in a bar the other day,” 
Yeosang lets out an ‘ah’ in realisation, yet you fail to see the jealous look he points at the pink haired man as he turns back to his book. Reaching for a dessert fork placed in the middle of the table, Mingi quickly grabs it and hands it to you. Quietly thanking him, you start to cut your muffin into four pieces. You acknowledge a gaze on you, so you halt your movements and look up, noticing Yeosang and Mingi’s eyes on you. Suddenly feeling awfully small, you start to feel your heartbeat rise and your breath deepen, never really liking people watching you eat, the stares from the two make you anxious. Luckily, they seem to immediately notice your change in behaviour and start apologising.
“I’m sorry, we will look away. We were just wondering whether you were going to like the muffin,” Mingi explains, his voice stumbling over words.
“It’s okay! I’m sorry, I’ve always been kind of awkward when people watch me eat.” you confess, your cheeks heating up. The two males nod trying to remember this information for the future. Instantly, the two men completely look away and focus on their own things, not paying any attention to you. Their antics make you giggle slightly, and you look back down at your muffin. Slowly, you pick up a quarter and place it on Mingi’s empty plate in front of him. You then do the same for Yeosang. They both look up at you with wide eyes.
“This is your favourite, we can't take it,” Yeosang says hurriedly, trying to put the cake back on your plate. 
“Stop, stop! I want to. I want to share it with my friends!” You blurt out before you can control your mouth. The wide eyes on both Yeosang and Mingi, make you realise what you said. You have to remember that even though they seem normal they are very clearly part of a group who apparently can kill people with their stare. What the hell are you doing? Of course, they aren’t your friends, you met them both once for less than ten minutes.
“Wait, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to say that I didn't intend to push your boundaries, we have only met like twice I didn't just assume we are friends!” You start to ramble, scared they will take it the wrong way, trying to fix your words as quickly as possible so you don’t get on their bad sides.
Before you can say anything more, Yeosang cuts you off by taking a bite of the muffin, “it tastes amazing! Thank you,”
“Woo!” Mingi’s voice calls out, ignoring the angry glares of people around him, “come get some cake!” Watching Wooyoung jump over the counter towards the three of you, you smile to yourself, glad you haven't done something that would cause future problems. Yeosang feeds Wooyoung the cake and makes an over-exaggerated reaction, “the flavours are melting on my tongue!” he exclaims in a funny voice, making Yeosang and Mingi cringe but you just laugh at his amusing antics. You can’t help but imagine how the whole group is when they are together. 
For the remainder of the hour, you are just conversing with Wooyoung and Mingi, sometimes Yeosang if he wants to add to the conversation, but more focusing on his book, yet looking up intently whenever you speak. You are broken out of your conversation as you hear the bell of the entrance ring, notifying the entrance of new customers. Wooyoung groans and stands up from his chair next to you. It seems to be three girls from our school. You recognise one of them from your calculus class.
Then the next thing that happens confuses you more than any other thing that has happened. As Wooyoung reaches the counter to take their order, his demeanour changes almost immediately, you would've missed it if you had blinked. 
Mingi and Yeosang seem to notice your confusion but blatantly ignore it, their smiles quickly disappearing from their faces. The atmosphere turns from warm and friendly to cold and foreign.
“What do you want?” Wooyoung asks bluntly. You furrow your eyebrows, confused out of your mind as to where the sweet friendly Wooyoung disappeared to.
“You know you should be nicer to your customers, it would help with business,” one of the girls speaks out, looking smug as if she has immensely hurt the man’s feelings.
“You should probably focus on your studies rather than going to cafes, sitting with a random document open and pretending to study when we all know you are miserably failing all your classes.” Wooyoung says monotone, whilst scrolling through his phone, not even looking at the three girls who now have shocked and offended looks on their faces. Some curses are thrown before the girls end up storming out of the café without even beginning to look at the menu. As soon as the girls leave, Wooyoung returns to the table nonchalantly, acting as if nothing had happened. Opening your mouth to say something, it gets caught in your throat before you get the words out.
Are you going insane?
{feedback is always appreciated and i love hearing from all of you. remember you are loved.} 
part two is out now!!!
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chaoticbardlady99 · 6 months
Note
Hello! I really enjoyed your fic with the Tav who couldn’t see well. It was really sweet! If you’re still accepting requests, may I request a similar one where the reader needs glasses to see and during a battle they break or get lost. Now they can’t see well and they’re trying not to panic while there’s threats everywhere, but thankfully Astarion notices something’s wrong and helps them. Thank you!
Admiring from Afar (GN! AFAB Reader x Astarion) Part 1- MDNI 18+ ONLY
Part Title is inspired by the song “She” by Dodie (I feel like it reflects Astarion’s POV/feelings towards Tav in this story)
This was not originally supposed to be as long as it is, but the concept started taking on a life of it's own. I hope you enjoy! I will hopefully be positing Part 2 within the next few days!
  CW: Angst (?), violence, jealousy, fluffy (hopefully very? But who knows), smut because apparently I’m in a giving mood (I’m sorry I had to make the joke.), MDNI 18+ only, dom/sub sexual relationship.
Note- this is Unascended Astarion x GN! reader
*This has been proof read one time. It is 2:04 am and I have work in 6 hours LMFAO
Gif belongs to- ibacchante from Tumblr!
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    The campfire crackles in the distance and you think you even hear the faint sound of music.  You desperately yearn to be near the warmth of the fire talking to or watching one of your companions give a dramatic retelling of their experiences in battle.
  The warmth of your companions made places like the Shadow-Curse Land feel a lot less scary and foreign- they provide some normalcy in this strange journey. 
Unfortunately, you are hunched over in your cold tent with nothing but a light cantrip and your will power. You squint as you etch details into the oxen bone, taking the time to add the touches of silvery white dye to add an ethereal effect. Your hands cramp as you work to keep the paint within the designs you carved into the bone.
You have been painstakingly working on this necklace for a little over a month- maybe two? You have lost count at this point, but the calluses on your fingers tell you it’s been a while now since you started this project.
  You polish the bone with your cloth, wiping away the debris from your knife. You admire your handiwork; a perfect carving of the Elven Rune- Cadaith. You were able to create a loop at the top of the necklace for the long, thin, black leather strip you had been holding onto since the day after the Tiefling party- the same day you decided to take on this hand numbing project.
  You and your crew of oddballs had come through for the locals and obliterated the Goblin Camp Leaders- the tieflings had come to your camp and had decided to celebrate.
  It wasn’t that you were opposed to parties, but you’re not the most social person despite your profession as an Artisan. You miss the calm, quiet group of Druids you used to travel with- you even miss the hardwood floor of the Caravans and how much of a pain in the ass they were to fix. You miss not having to spend every waking moment and all of your strength on battling and the art of deception. You miss your tools and the landscapes you use to find your resources. You love to make crafts out of anything in the wild.
 Back to the rowdy tiefling party- again, you aren’t necessarily against parties, but they are overwhelming.
And the men! They are entirely too vulgar after a couple drinks. Silvanus help you if you had another drunk man stumble up to you and ask if he can, “fuck your brains out.” 
 Another man had begun to make his way towards you when you felt a cold hand grab you by the elbow and haul you off into the forest. It had been Astarion- who you had agreed to share a bed with that night. You had shared a bed before- after a camp party to celebrate killing Auntie Ethel, but nothing could have prepared you for the second time and how mind-blowing it would be (you had been excruciatingly awkward as it was your first time ever- he was pretty understanding thank Gods).
  “Astarion-”
  “Yes Darling?”
   He stops and looks at you- you look around and realize you are far from camp. You fiddle with your hands nervously- picking at your nails. 
“I um-” you clear your throat, “I really appreciate you- well- um… coming to my rescue, but I really don’t want to be a bother to you- you don’t need to stay wit-”
 You hadn’t been able to finish your sentence before he was gently kissing you. Your body feels like it’s on fire, your glasses are entirely foggy from your breathing and you smile at him coyly as he pulls away. He gives you a genuine, real laugh before taking your glasses off and wiping them clean for you. You put them on, your eyes back in focus as you avoid his eyes.
He leans in and begins kissing along your neck, along your jawline, and back to your lips. He kisses you roughly, his tongue flicking across your lower lip, asking for access. He lifts you up from under your thighs before backing you into a tree. 
  He grinds up into you- his erection pressed against the burning heat in your core. He pulls at your shirt strings and gives you a look as if to ask if he can continue. You grab his face in your hands and kiss him as an answer to his question. 
  He discards your shirt and makes quick work of your trousers and under garments- all while kissing you so deeply the world is spinning and your entire body feels numb. 
  Suddenly he has you on your back as he smiles down at you mischievously. You look away, embarrassed as he takes in the sight of your body; a breathy chuckle leaves his lips as he gets up and makes quick work of his own clothes.
 You feel the space between your legs grow warmer and needier as you watch him stroke himself before he settles himself between your legs. He presses soft kisses all over your face as he inserts a finger between your folds and begins to toy with your clit. You whimper and moan as he pumps his finger in and out of you.
  “Good girl,” he growls into your ear and inserts another finger, picking up the pace.
  A soft, gasp escapes your lips as your walls stretch to fit around his other finger- getting to the point of borderline tears as you feel your orgasm get closer and closer. Astarion watches you use a stream of profanities, your hands gripping the grass so hard it's ripping. He kisses you on your forehead then- he stops. 
 You keen in protest from the emptiness between your thighs, but your words die on your lips as he pushes himself all the way between your folds, all the way to the hilt. You claw at his back, a pleased whimper escaping your mouth. He begins to kiss your jaw before you capture his lips with yours- he’s still not moving inside of you as you kiss him feverishly- your hands entangling themselves in his hair. He groans against your lips, holding you down by your waist and not allowing you to move. When you attempt to move your hips upward, desperate to get some friction, he groans in your mouth before pulling out completely and then thrusting himself roughly back into you. You look at him in anticipation as he gets off of you, still inside you as he adjusts your left leg so that he can get more access and he begins to massage your sore, neglected nipples with his fingers. 
You are desperate for any movement from him and you can tell he knows it- even in your drunken haze. 
 “Please.”
“Please what, my dear?”
 He says before pulling out to thrust into you completely again. You cry out, tears streaming down your face as you look away from him, trying not to let him have the satisfaction.. 
  He hums as he roughly grabs your jaw, making you look him in the eyes.
 “Tell me, Darling,” a sly, teasing smile on his beautiful face, “do you want me to fuck your brains out?”
You nod and he pinches your nipples roughly- you arch your back and you feel him lift your hips up before spanking you hard.
"You don't get anything until you answer my question," he goads, his hand snaking it's way around your throat, "so tell me, do you want me to fuck your brains out?"
"Y-es. Yes I want you to fuck me ple-" he cuts you off with a snap of his hips.
He grabs your jaw roughly with his hands, "You know that's not what I asked you."
He begins to slowly move in and out of you, teasing you mercilessly. You groan in frustration- he knows he’s the only person who can say this to you and demand you to say it back to him.
"Please Astarion," you say tearfully, your need for pleasure taking over, "please fuck my brains out."
He smiles at you widely, "it would be my pleasure."
You whine and he pulls out of you, rolling you over onto your hands and knees. He comes up behind you and his hands find purchase in your hair as he begins to pound into your mercilessly. You lose yourself in pleasure- surely alerting everyone and their mothers to your activites- and if it's not the vulgar moans, it's the filthy sound of your bodies colliding.
He pulls you up to his chest by your hair, switching to putting his hand around the upper part of your throat, and puts his fangs to your neck, teasing the skin as he fucks up into you. You have one of your hands wrapped around his arm as he chokes you and the other is touching your clit- the coil of pleasure building up in your stomach as you whisper your consent between moans for Astarion to drink from you. He gives you a pleased hum in response.
The moment his fangs are piercing your neck is the same moment your orgasm rips through you and you have to fight not to slump against him. You feel his strong arms hold you up as he keeps fucking your sensitive mound, chasing his own orgasm. He stops sucking from the bite marks on your neck, lapping up the blood that begins to slowly trickle down towards your shoulders and chest. He let’s go of his grip on your throat and pushes you back onto your belly before roughly inserting himself inside you again.
"You are such a good girl," he grunts, "you are taking me so fucking well."
You begin to feel lightheaded when he finally cums inside you. Good thing you have a potion for that.
You both get your clothes on and he whisks you away to his tent- where you cuddled and talked for almost the entire night.
  The sex, as noted, is amazing, but you also enjoy so much more of him than just his body. You know Astarion struggles to believe you find anything about him interesting outside of sex, so you make a point of reminding him about all the other wonderful parts of him and you don't ever ask for sex or sexual favors. That ball is in his playing field as far as you are concerned.
You find yourself gravitating back to Astarion’s tent every night to listen about a new book he is reading or just to let him shower you with (arguably) questionable knowledge about the higher ups in Badlur's Gate . Sometimes you just talk about your lives, tangled in each other’s embraces, and falling asleep that way.
You had begun sleeping in the same tent shortly after he drank from you for the first time. You had been scared during a storm one night and he had heard you sniffling in your tent. You missed the safety of your Caravan during those first two weeks. 
  He had quickly dragged you over to his tent- griping about his hair, how “I told you that you needed better camping equipment”, and “really darling? Why are you wearing clothes with holes in them? No wonder you’re scared.”
    You have had an incredibly close bond ever since and you speak very freely with one another. You still become closed off every now and then (mostly from being socially and emotionally exhausted) but he was content to sit in the silence and just be in each other’s company. If he's in a grouchy mood, you sit with him in silence or let him just talk at you, and you support him when he wakes up from a particularly grueling nightmare. You rarely, if ever, go to your tent or stay in your tent anymore.
  However, your current passion project was not to be seen by his eyes until it was completely finished- hence the reason why you are in your freezing, semi abandoned tent. You enchant the amulet with “Invisibility” and after a test, you can proudly say your necklace for Astarion is ready.
  Shortly after the fight with the Goblins, Astarion had been complaining to you about how Gale “ate” the last necklace of Invisibility that they had found. 
  “He did call finders-keepers.”
 “Finders-keepers my ass, Darling. If he really believed that rule he wouldn’t have inhaled it the way he did right after finding it.”
  “It was rather unbecoming of him, wasn’t it?”
 “Cazador has done a lot of horrible, vile things to me over the last two centuries,” he scoffs, “but, Gale eating a perfectly good Amulet of Invisibility has somehow landed in the top 20 of worst things to happen to me.” 
  After that, you began your work on the Amulet and now that it’s finished- you get to give it to him.
 The idea makes your stomach turn. 
  What if he hates it?
  It’s not really his style, but you don’t make gaudy jewelry and you tried your best to make it look like it shimmers (you succeeded FYI, Nat 20 all the way). You hope he appreciates it on principle alone and doesn’t criticize you too harshly if he dislikes it. When you ran the idea by Karlach and showed her your sketch, she was immediately convinced that he would adore your gift.
“Don’t worry about a thing Soldier,” she said cheerily, “Fangs is going to adore it as much as he adores you!”
  You wrap the necklace in the nice, silk handkerchief and stuff it into the little leather bag. You take one final deep breath before pushing through the tent flap. You look around camp and see that mostly everyone is in their tent- Astarion included- but Wyll is by the fire dancing. You remember joking about him giving a demonstration for the camp. As you begin to walk towards Astarion’s tent- Wyll calls out to you.
 “Tav,” he says brightly, “join me for a dance?”
 Another thing you love about Astarion- he is very good at telling people ‘no’ for you. Yes, you should be sticking up for yourself and setting boundaries on your own. You are so wired to make everyone else happy that it impedes your ability to say no. Astarion is helping you learn and supports you when you freeze up, but Astarion is not here in this moment and if he hears what Wyll has said to you- he has made no indication of it.
  You smile tightly and put the pouch in your pocket before taking his hand. You are basically robotic as you go through the motions and yet- for some Gods forsaken reason Wyll plants a kiss right on your lips. As he pulls back and sees your look of absolute horror- he begins to apologize profusely. 
 “Honestly Wyll,” you awkwardly squeak out,”it’s totally fine. I just- um- well… I really like Astarion and I’m not looking elsewhere.”
 “I understand and as disappointed as I am- I am grateful for your forgiveness and I hope we can remain friends.”
 You smile brightly, “Thank you Wyll and of course. Good night.”
 He bids you farewell and you walk with extra pep in your step. You set a boundary and you are over the moon excited to share with Astarion. 
  Except when you get inside the tent- all of your stuff is right in the entryway. Astarion has his back facing you and is pretending to be interested in a book. You frown.
 “Star?”
 “Oh don’t worry Darling- I figured I would save you the uncomfortable conversation,” he says with apathy in his voice, “we both know those aren’t your strong suite.”
  You flinch at his cold, blank tone and the harshness of his words. You feel yourself becoming consumed with confusion and hurt. Your hand is clutching onto the pouch in your pocket. He looks at you and he looks far away despite the smile on his face.
 “Well go along now, I’m sure your new lover is waiting for you. I’m happy for you honestly,” he pauses, giving you a cold, malicious grin, “pretending to be invested in this connection has really been bothersome these last couple weeks.”
  Logically, a part of you knows he is just jealous and is lashing out. You should stay and try to explain what happened- reassure him even? 
  Emotionally? You feel like you just got stabbed over and over again. Oh and then someone came up to you and used a shocking grasp. You try to open your mouth, the tears welling in your eyes as you look at him. 
  He just looks at you coldly, “Well, leave.”
  You wordlessly nod, dropping the leather pouch back into your pocket and you grab your things and numbly head back over to your tent. You roll out your bed roll and stare up at the dark tarp above your head; you let the tears stream down your face as silent sobs wrack your body. You already miss him.
 _________________________________________________
  You didn’t sleep well that night- you woke up with puffy eyes and a sore throat. You had spent the majority of the night freezing and jumping at every noise. You would get the occasional thirty minutes of sleep here and there, but if you weren’t scared awake, your bruised, broken heart woke you up. Your heart thumped unevenly all night- worried the bumps in the night were Astarion packing up his things and leaving. 
  Your chest aches as you get ready to leave and you are grateful that the Shadow-Cursed Lands are so poorly lit because it allows you to hide the rough night you have. You are also grateful to see Astarion is still here.
You, Astarion, Shadowheart, Karlach, and Wyll set out to explore more of the Shadowlands. Karlach told Astarion he didn’t have to go if he didn’t want to- you were too tired to say anything in response to his complaints and you suppose Karlach became fed up. He’s quiet after that, so quiet you think he might have left. Except you hear him chatting with Wyll during a short rest.
  Shadowheart walks happily next to you- chittering about Dark Justiciars and how she can feel Shar or whatever. You are just trying to focus on her and stop thinking about him. You have been successful in avoiding him and not looking at him for the entirety of the morning and you need to keep it that way. 
  _________________________________________________
   Astarion can’t place where in the conversation he went wrong, but the fight with Malus Thorm has been nothing short of a disaster. The Sisters are ruthless and Malus is much stronger than any of them anticipated at first glance.
  Astarion usually fights right at your side, but he assumes that your new lover will be keeping you safe. He suppresses the bile and tears that threaten to come up. He has your protection still and he knows that because Wyll would have thrown him out of camp otherwise. He was never meant to end up with you- you were always meant to be a means to an end.
If anything, he should be thrilled for you. Wyll is a good, decent man and much worthier of your affections than Astarion could ever be.
 So why does it hurt so fucking much? And why did he want to kick Wyll over a ravine when he kissed you?
He shakes the thought as he strikes down two more Sisters. He steals a glance in Wyll’s direction (to check on you) and immediately notices that you are nowhere in the premises and the Blade of Frontiers was battling with Karlach. Astarion scans the room in a frenzy of panic.
   He turns around just in time to see Malus lift you up by your neck and fling you into a column. Your glasses fell to the ground as your back makes contact with the stone and the sound of shattering bones echoes through the room as the Sisters begin to move forward.
 Astarion watches in horror as you are struggling to pop up and begin touching the floor around you , but by the time you seem to realize finding your glasses is a moot effort- the Sisters descend on you as Malus turns his attention to Wyll and Karlach.
  Wyll acknowledges what just happened, but doesn’t go to help you. Anger rips through Astarion like a wildfire as Wyll turns and tells Shadowheart you need help. He’s about to help Malus take out Wyll- until another scream for help pierces the air as you throw random cantrips at your attackers.
 Astarion rushes forward, cutting his way through the remaining Sisters in the middle of the room. He really could give a shit less at this time if it pisses Wyll off that he was the one who protected you- in fact, he’s probably going to be stabbing Wyll when you all get back to camp. 
  Astarion destroys the Sisters surrounding you in a flurry of gore and steel. He ignores his other companions as he searches for you frantically. 
  You had disappeared by the time he came to your aid. Astarion knows that you have a tendency to slip into your Cat form when you are particularly scared and can’t see- using the animal’s powerful nose to guide you away from danger. 
 Astarion goes near the beds and crouches down- a sigh escaping his lips. 
  All 8 pounds of you and your black fluff is crouched under the bed and you hiss in surprise when he clicks his tongue at you. You squint your eyes at him before sniffing the air. You cautiously walk forward and sniff his outreached hand. You begin to purr loudly and rub your head against his knuckles.
 He laughs with a mix of hysteria and joy as the realization that you are okay settles into his bones.
 “It’s okay Little Love, the Sisters are dead,” he says softly, “I’m so sorry, I should have been next to you. I just assumed a beast with such prowess as yourself would be able to fend for themselves.”
 You meow in indignation as you climb on top of him to bite the tip of his nose and he can’t help but laugh. 
“Does your ego hurt less now, Little Love?”
You give him an amused look that makes him bust out laughing again.
He had asked you once why you were just a Black domestic cat instead of a Panther. You had argued that you are just as ferocious as a Panther in that form. Not to mention, you would have a better chance of shooting an arrow straight than turning into a Panther, but you weren’t about to admit that (even though he knows). 
   Astarion scoops you up in his arms and pauses- the smell of your blood floods his senses. He grabs you by your scruff and you yelp as he inspects you for injuries. 
  You scratch at his hand and he drops you. You yowl in pain and leer at him as you begin to change back into your humanoid form. 
If Astarion was capable of feinting, this would have been that moment. He drops to his knees beside you and begins trying to find a healing potion to take the edge off.
  You have a compound fracture where your shin was and it’s bleeding heavily. Your right shoulder is out of place, your left wrist is twisted in an atypical fashion, and your left cheek is blooming with an angry, purple bruise. He winces when you inhale a sharp breath as you try to breathe in, clutching at your rib cage. 
He doesn’t catch the choked gasp that climbs up his throat in time- your eyes search for him in the dark before finally settling on him.
“Your beautiful eyes are really helpful when it’s blurry.”
Your voice is so tired and he can hear the pain in your voice.
“How come?”
“I can actually find you,” you pause, “you make me feel safe.”
  You look at him, your eyes glassy with shock. You smile brightly at him and he smiles brightly back at you. He never thought anyone would associate him with protection, safety. Your words echo in his brain.
You’re make me feel safe.
You go to say something again before you look at him with wide, scared eyes and promptly lose consciousness. The scream that comes out of his mouth is foreign to his own ears. It sounds fearful, angry- heartbroken. Astarion tries to shake you awake, yelling your name over and over.
 “Please wake up Darling- you’re safe,” he whispers through choked sobs, “come back to me please.” 
Nothing. He can barely tell if you are breathing still as your heart thuds softly in your chest. He calls for Shadowheart two, three, four more times.
"Please," he whimpers, "I don't want to have to be without you forever- I can't be."
  The weight of his words hits him like a train- his plan had well and truly failed. Under normal, non- life threatening emergency situations, he would probably panic about the strength of his emotions. Instead, he sits here begging for the chance to be able to tell you how he really feels. He wants to move so badly, to drag Shadowheart over here to heal you, but he can't bare to leave you in your vulnerable state. He keeps calling for Shadowheart- his voice begins to crack.
Astarion feels the worst of his anxieties vanish as you suddenly start taking long, ragged, tired breaths. He grabs a healing potion out of his pocket and tilts your head as he pours it into your mouth. You swallow the fluid gingerly. Your eyes are barely open when he hears you communicate through the tadpole.
Thank you for saving me. Again.
Astarion slowly strokes the side of your face, brushing the flyaway hairs out of your eyes.
"I saved you for my own selfish reasons," he whispers, while taking your right hand gently, "close your eyes and rest- I will keep you safe. Shadowheart is coming."
You nod lazily before closing your eyes, your hand in his still. Astarion sighs in relief when your breathing gets stronger, but he is no healer. Where the hells is that damn Cleric!?
 “Shadowheart!!!!”
581 notes · View notes
greenplumbboblover · 10 months
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Simblr.cc
I made a website!
Now you've probably seen the attempt before, people getting mad at tumblr and then making a 'Simblr' (Tumblr clone). Though, despite tumblr being sometimes a bit frustrating because of their changes, that's not why this site came to be...
I wanted a place where Storytellers, Creators, and just generic sim players can all be together and get the exposure and fun that they deserve.
Not only that, but also for a place where the TSM community and TS1 can belong somewhere too without the use of a forum.
And eventually, I hope we can make it the home for Life by you and Paralives when that comes out :)
Plus, it's also NSFW friendly! While the site is initially PG-13, we've got tags and profile settings that allow you to browse NSFW items as well.
Simblr.cc:
Discord:
What can I find on Simblr.cc exactly?
Anything for all sims games, really! TS1, TS2, TS3, TS4 and TSM
Practically anything you technically can find on Tumblr and really other sim websites. We've got...
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Mods
I've specifically made filters for different games, and their needs in mind. For example, for TS2 there are so many awesome game fixes out there and clean templates, that you'll be able to navigate and find this easily.
Not only that, items can also be put in multiple categories! Especially great if you've uploaded a set!
You can also find Testers wanted only mods here if you feel like helping out fellow simmers with testing!
NOTE:
Mods do go through a "queue", but not in the same way as you may have experienced on MTS or TSR. I merely check if it's flagged as NSFW correctly, and then it's good to go! :) So the waiting time will be much less!
See TOU: Click me!
Eventually, I may see if I can get a bypass system in place, but that really depends on if NSFW isn't too confusing.
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Work In Progress
To show off your work to others! Even if it's project #94882 that may never get released, any WIPS are fine!
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Stories
It's really difficult to find new Sim stories or Legacies on Tumblr, let alone for these writers to get people to read their awesome stories! Hopefully this should make the process much easier now!
Also! You got any comic or "movie/cinematic" like stories? No problem! Just check the "carousel only" option, so no description needed!
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Feed
... and for the Simblrs here, a feed to see all the people you follow, their content (stories, WIPs, mods and general posts)! Or, simply check out sitewide, or even game-related, what people have been posting!
Customizable profile pages
Just like tumblr, you can make your own profile page! With it's own colours and a pre-made theme. (if you need a different profile page, though, Let us know on the discord)
Want a peek? Here you go:
What about moderation?
While there's a report system in place, and the items in the queue are checked for NSFW, but users could still turn their non-NSFW to a NSFW, items may be stolen. So do report these as that will never be condoned!
Additionally, all comments you get on your mods, story, etc. Those are primarily moderated by you. You can delete them, you can turn comments off even if you'd like. If things really go wrong, you can always ask an admin.
Got any ideas? Feel free to share!
Since I really wanted it to be a website we all create together in some degree, if you have any features you're missing or would like to see, feel free to share on the discord!
Where are the Advertisements?
If you're currently not seeing them as of reading the post, that's because that's still being set up. This is merely to cover the cost of the website! Though, I promise you I won't bombard the site with ads, as that's just annoying.
744 notes · View notes
huboi · 2 months
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serpent’s tongue ♡.°୭̥ ୨୧
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divider by @lil-liaa
╰┈➤ summary; aot guys pleasuring you with their split tongue
╰┈➤ includes; modern! au, gn! afab! reader (reader isn’t really mentioned much), oral (reader! receiving), face-sitting, hair pulling (character! receiving), 69, vouyerism(?) in porcos’ (he eats you out in front of reiner), finger-fucking, eren jeager, connie springer and porco galliard with a split tongue, everyone’s 18+
╰┈➤ a/n; pls lemme know if you have any issues with the tags (I don’t want to make people uncomfortable, that’s the last thing I want) minors DNFI this is 18+ content!, blank blogs dni. this can be read by anyone (eg. transmascs, non binary’s, poc etc.) apologies if this isn’t the best smut fic out there, I’m a bit rusty. also HAPPY EASTER to those that celebrate! hope you have plenty of chocolate this Easter <3
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EREN JEAGER
eren is DESPERATE to have you sit on his face, just place your juicy cunt on his face, he doesn’t care. worried about taking his breath away? he doesn’t gaf, sit on his face already
he knows how to use his tongue, he may not have slept around much but he’s a quick learner, so he knows which buttons to push to make you reach your high quickly, his split tongue comes in perfect for doing the job, makes it 10x more pleasurable
tug on his hair, PLEASE, he’s a whore for having his hair pulled, like he’ll full on whimper whilst eating you out if you do that, and the vibrations just add so much more to the experience
oh btw if he’s grown a bit of facial hair, you bet your ass it just makes it feel 100x better, with the feeling of his stubble against your nether regions just😫
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CONNIE SPRINGER
favourite position to eat you out is 69
he loves the feeling of your moans’ vibrating deliciously against his cock, it just gets him even more eager in the act
not only does he have a split tongue, but he also has a tongue piercing, so that means double the pleasure
loves tongue fucking you whilst rubbing his nose against your clit
he’s a very messy eater, I’m talking juices everywhere, from his entire face to his neck and chest area, you don’t know how the hell he manages to get it there but it’s hot either way
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PORCO GALLIARD
porco is probably the worst when it comes to containing his urges
like when you’re at a party, my guy’s one minute away from tearing your bottom half clothes clean off and diving straight into that pussy
he has a massive oral fixation, like massive
one time when you guys were at reiners’, casually hanging out and porco just had to drag you into reiners’ room (he was in the living room) and eat you out there, finger fucking you whilst desperately licking at your clit with his split tongue
reiner, not knowing what he was walking into, entered the room, a blush evident on his cheeks at the sight of porco in between your legs, slurping your juices as if he was parched
you obviously noticed reiner first, feeling a rush of excitement at the knowledge of someone, your boyfriends’ hot friend, watching you in such a lewd position
porco removed his mouth, causing you to whine at the sudden halt in pleasure
“are ya’ gonna stand there, gaping like a fish? or are ya’ gonna watch?” porco huffed out, clearly pussy drunk, before shoving his mouth back where it belongs
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© content belongs to @huboi on tumblr, DO NOT REPOST ON ANY SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS WHATSOEVER
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zodiyack · 11 months
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Better For Me
Pairings: Tommy Shelby x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Angst, swearing, smoking, plotting
Words: 684
Request: Can you please do one for Tommy Shelby, where the reader is someone that he’s been pining over for as long as he can remember, but she’s never returned his feelings, she wants better for herself and desperately wants to escape Birmingham to have one, once he finds her plan he comes up with a scheme so that she will have no choice but to stay there with him (you can decide what that trap is)
Author’s Note: So I don’t exactly like the thought of her being 100% forced against her will, so I changed it a little bit to where she does indeed have feelings for him but never once said anything because she knew once she got involved with a gangster, her life would never be the same, and she wants better for herself. Hes also a little ooc.
YALL IVE EDITED THIS TWICE BECAUSE FUCKING MOBILE TUMBLR- DECIDED TO PUT MY ENDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BEGINNING.
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Masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist | Cillian Murphy Masterlist
Taglist: @simonsbluee, @stuckysslag, @psychkunox, @marquelapage, @i-love-superhero @captivatedbycillianmurphy, @stydia-4-ever, @jenepleurepasbaby, @peakyxtommy, @babylooneytoonz, @matth1w​, @redspaceace-writes​, @darling-i-read-it​, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow​, @fandom-puff​
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Her bags were stuffed to bursting with her belongings. She frantically packed the last of it in a barely spacious case. A knock at her front door scared her as it broke her from her hurry. She wasn't surprised when she saw the Blinder on her doorstep, only nervous.
"You're packing?" His cold voice inquired.
"Yes." She responded simply. Y/N avoided giving him too much detail. After all, he was who she was running from.
"Why can't you stay?"
She sighed heavily. "We've been over this Thomas. I need something else. I want a better life. I don't want to be in Birmingham forever." It was part of the truth. Really, she couldn't be around the violence, the theft, the gambling, the Peaky Blinders. Tommy.
She winced slightly. "No, I need to do this myself."
"I'll take you places. We can explore the world together, love." He chuckled lightly. "I promise."
Her words seemed to set him off. "Why? Can't I do anything to convince you to stay?"
"No!" She couldn't stop herself before she shrieked out the word. Covering her mouth in shock, she collected herself before speaking again. "I'm leaving, Thomas, and that's that."
"At least tell me why, love." He persisted. His hand reached for Y/N's. He definitely noticed something was wrong when she swiped her hand away. "Is it because of me?"
Yes.
"No, it's not because Of anyone! I just can't be here anymore. Tommy, I want to experience more than this place. I want a better life. We've been over this before, a thousand times." She huffed as she stuffed the rest of the items into her bag. “Please, just leave me to finish this up. I’ll stop by before I leave.” She turned away and waited for him to leave, the door clicking shut behind him.
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When Tommy went outside, he spotted a copper doing his usual patrol. He nodded at him, gaining his attention. “I need your assistance.”
“What is it Mr. Shelby?”
He lit a cigarette, looking off into the distance. "Y/N L/N. If she tries to leave, prevent her in whatever way possible. Keep her alive, and inside of Birmingham." Tommy ordered, "by order of the Peaky Blinders. Alright?"
The copper nodded, "Yes Mr. Shelby. I'll make sure to it that everyone knows."
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The door of the betting shop slammed shut after being aggressively swung open. Heels clicked angrily against the floor. Tommy didn't even have to lift his head to know who it was.
"You fucking bastard. You told them to keep me here?!" She shouted. Her brows were furrowed and her expression looked full of rage. "You fucking asshole!"
"You wouldn't listen to me." He kept his composure.
"I was leaving because of you!"
The truth shocked him, but he didn't let it show. Instead, Tommy stared at her with a stone facade. "I love you."
She shook her head in disbelief. "I know, Thomas. You've made it clear. You've made it clear for the past five years of our life. But I don't want that. Not for me, I need better."
"Better?" He tsked. "I could give you everything."
"That's the thing, Tommy! You're involved in so much, even being friends with you and your family, I worry for my life. Your morals, they make me wish I didn't feel this way about you. My morals, are what are telling me I can better my life. They are telling me to leave rather than get involved in this kind of life."
"Well, now you can discard those morals. Stay with me. Besides, it's not as though you have much choice." He quirked a brow, referencing the whole reason she was there in the first place.
Y/N rolled her eyes and turned around, clicking back to the door. She stopped in front of it with a pause. "I may love you, Tommy. But even if you make me stay, I will never get involved with you."
"Even if you make me stay..." She turned her head to him. "Not now," she faced the door again, holding onto the handle with a tight grip, "not ever."
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seikoru · 4 months
Text
!Nerd Armin h'cs
Since I found out that the dudes here love !Nerd Armin, I felt it was my duty to share my head-canons on him. I have no idea how to use tumblr at all but here it is. All of this is a pieces of my au for a huge storyline armin fanfic with original female character, so…. just enjoy
You met completely by accident. You only went to Wall High School this year when you moved. And you didn't really like the local way of doing things. The whole caste thing, the whole cool dudes/loser thing. it was weird.
You wanted to hang out with everyone, no matter how different they were. Even though you were considered a cool and pretty girl by their metrics.
You first asked Armin for help after another biology class with a hell of a teacher, and he gladly agreed to help.
Armin was immediately very sweet to you. The way he would sometimes adjust his glasses or tuck a strand of hair behind his ear while he was explaining a topic to you…
To be honest, he was a bit frustrated by your lack of results after his help. You were barely getting better grades. He just didn't notice that half the time you weren't looking at the textbook, but at him.
But the more you became friends, the better his character revealed to you. He was known around school as the creepy anime otaku. Was that true? Absolutely. When you first went to his place, you were literally in a pink kingdom where all the walls were covered with anime girls.
Yeah, Armin had never felt the touch of a woman before. He'd had friends like Mikasa, but you… you were something else.
You'd been friends for almost six months until the winter ball was announced. And you literally didn't know who to go with. There were tons of guys chasing you, but they were all like Rainer: idiotic jocks.
The prom was coming up, and you still hadn't found a date. Armin rejected the prom: he didn't like the idea of jostling with sweaty, drunken teenagers to idiotic music in a stuffy room when he could be at home playing video games.
You managed to talk him into going out with you as a friend.
Did you kiss him ballroom night? Yes, you did.
When you, already drunk, said "I want to kiss you", Armin was quite taken aback. At first he just pulled you away and said something like "You need to sober up," but his heart was jumping out of his chest.
When you started convincing him of your sincere affection for him, he became hesitant. Quietly he muttered "I don't want you playing with my feelings".
You asked "Feelings?". He realized he had said something unnecessary, but there was no turning back. So you moved closer, took his glasses off his nose and gently touched his lips with yours.
In a relationship, Armin is the ultimate golden retriever. He smiles widely when he accidentally meets you in the school hallway at recess and is adorably embarrassed when you fleetingly touch him in public.
You're not allowed to spend much time together, lest you bring a wave of bullying on Armin. You had to keep yourselves within the school castes. But you guys didn't like the PDA anyway, so it wasn't a big problem.
Armin is proud of his collection of anime girls on his wall, but he's even more proud of his girlfriend. He always thought you were out of his league, and he couldn't hope for anything more than friendship.
But how happy he was when you would come to his house and sit on his lap while he was on Discord with his friends playing some games.
Armin often caught hyperfixated on his studies and wouldn't get out from under mountains of textbooks. It's not like you like studying much. But Armin is fine with it: he's willing to do ABSOLUTELY ALL of your homework for you.
Socially, he doesn't show how soft he is on the inside. While you were friends, you were sure he only knew how to be sassy. But hell, it turns out he's also good at kneeling in front of you, slowly kissing your ankles, calves and knees, working his way up to your thighs-
And you loved owning that side of him. Supple, belonging only to you. When he stared at you with admiring eyes, and you gently brushed away the strands of hair that fell across his face. He could have fucked anyone else without a second thought, but not you.
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wildemaven · 2 months
Note
Okay, so I guess this sits in the realm of Confessions.
I'm thinking about leaving tumblr. I'm not sure what I did or didn't do to cause this, but the people I thought of as my friends or at least closest moots hardly interact with me anymore. My posts, my fics, my reblogs, my comments to them... They are around, I see them on my dash, but...
It all sounds so middle school, but it hurts nonetheless, and I'm pretty sure anything that feels like middle school (even actual middle school) can't be good for anyone.
The thing is, I really love everyone, and I don't want to give up. But going around to literally dozens of peoples DMs to ask, "Do you like me?" "Are we still friends?" "Are you mad at me?" Is again a kind of painful kid trauma thing I just can't quite bring myself to do.
I feel like my time here is just sort of over. I started with little expectation, and to my surprise, I found community, felt well liked and valued, and then, it just sort of went away.
There was a time when I was really happy about my place here, and just that makes me so sad.
You don't have to answer or anything. I think it just feels kind of cathartic to write it down where if nothing else someone else will read it.
Anyway... I guess that's it.
Held on to this for a little bit because my heart aches for you and I want to wrap you in the biggest hug 💕 I felt I could have written something so similar, as so many are relating to this right now.
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It’s so hard to not feel like you’re feeling when you see people you’ve connected with slowly pull away from you. It hurts even more when they’re still active but actively avoiding you. That fucking hurts deep.
There was a time when this space felt very welcoming and fun. And while I do still have fun, sometimes it doesn’t feel as welcoming— and I know I’m not the only one feeling this.
Cliques branch off, popularity fuels some to feel like they’re too good to interact with others, the vibe isn’t vibing like it use to. And like you mentioned, it can all make you feel like you’re being thrown back in middle schools wondering why you’re not good enough? What did you do to cause this? What’s the point of even being here in this space any longer?
I’m so sorry this has become your reality. I wish it was a simple fix or there was a perfect solution to make things better. I support whatever decision you make, your wellbeing and mental health matter most— just know this community will be a little less bright without you in it!!
You said I didn’t have to post this, but I want others who might be feeling the same to know they’re not alone at all. There’s a lot of us floating around with the same exact thoughts and feeling like we just no longer belong in this space.
You’re more than welcome to jump in my DMs or continue sending anonymous messages to my inbox if that helps you in any way 💕
Coffee Shop Asks
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poraphia · 8 months
Note
Halloooo ^^ ..
I read a lot of ur stories and now Im in love with fictions :3 (might need therapy cuz of it but nvm that)
U an amazing writer <3
(Im pretty new to Tumblr so extremely sorry if this ends up where it shouldnt be or smth like that lol)
But anywaaay , Can I pls request a Wilbur Soot angst fic :D ?
Im going thru THAT phase rn so anything would be awsome really ..
Maybe a fight (unintentionally) breaks out between Wilby and reader and Wilby accidentally raises his voice and reader gets scared ? I know its a cheesy story and people might'a written before but I barely find Wilbur angst fics anymore :(((
Anyway , Thank u so much .. U dont have to write any of this if ur uncomfortable .. Hope ur doing okay :> .. Take care n' bye :D
"You’re Being Too Loud."
➵ PAIRING! cc!stressed!wilbur x stressed!reader
➵ CREATING! 10.12.23 | 1444 words
➵ CONTAINING! angst to comfort, wilbur is ignoring reader, reader lowkey has attachment issues, reader sensitive to loud noises, wilbs is overworked
➵ SAYING! hiii @toastyliltoasts41 welcome to tumblr! sorry for the late late response but i hope you enjoy :) personally going thru this myself especially w so much work ive been doing recently and also im noise sensitive (literally walk around with noise canceling headphones all the time). thank u for all the nice words!
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
I slipped off my shoes and placed them near the doorstep. My socks glided against the furnished planks as I slid to our shared office. I dragged my backpack behind me, feeling the weight of my laptop, notebooks, and textbooks. Once I made it to the room, I placed my bag on the chair and unpacked all my belongings onto my desk.
Today was too exhausting, and the one thing I dreaded doing right now was to open my laptop and be faced with more work. Instead of taking my laptop with me, I grabbed my phone and dragged myself out of the office and into the bedroom.
After changing into my loungewear, I snuggled myself into silk sheets, shivering a little from the cold fabric wrapping around my body. Ignoring the chill, I held up my phone with both of my hands and swiped open the messaging app to text my boyfriend. I glanced at the past messages, realizing that Wil hasn’t responded to any of my messages from this afternoon. The last time he texted was this morning when was telling me what time he would come home. Sighing, I typed in another message in hopes that this time he would respond.
“Hey, I’m home now. Too tired to cook food today. Let’s order something when you get home? <3”
I clicked send before clicking off my phone and placing it on the nightstand. My eyes fluttered close, and slowly, I drifted off to sleep.
I woke to the sound of footsteps clicking against the ground. With my hands I pushed my body up to examine the noise. From the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of a familiar tall figure headed toward the office. A small smile formed on my face as I carefully got out of bed.
My bare freet pressed against the cream colored carpet. I wandered around the hallway before finding the office door slightly ajar. Through the crack I saw Wil hunched over his computer. His sweater’s sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and his fingers hastily clicked against his keyboard. Quietly, I approached him from behind, throwing my arms around his shoulders and hugging him close.
Wil quietly hummed in response. I titled my head, pecking his cheek, but he didn’t react and instead his eyes stayed glue to his screen. My eyebrows slightly furrowed, but nonetheless, I continued hugging him.
“Hey, sweetheart.” I mumbled in a croaky voice.
“Hey,” he replied blankly.
“Did you see my texts earlier today?”
“Uh huh,” He said absently. “I saw the message after I ate though. Sorry.”
I felt my chest tighten a little, hurting at his absence. All I wanted in the moment was a hug and a conversation about each other’s day, but instead, he was absorbed in his work and couldn’t even make the effort to look at me.
“Wil, can we talk?” I asked.
He slightly shook his head. “No, not right now, honey. This video has to be out by tomorrow and one of our editors hasn’t been feeling well so I took up the work.” He explained briefly.
“But you’re already busy working at the studio…” I mumbled.
“I know, but I can finish this up by tonight. Just give me some time, please.” He requested. My heart skipped a little, feeling like a dog that had been put aside for a brand new puppy.
“Wil, you haven’t talked to me all day. Could we at least just have dinner together?” I nearly pleaded.
“I already said I just ate, (y/n).” Wil said rather sternly. “Please can I just finish my work?”
“But I want to spend time with you.” I said, speaking up a little bit. I unwrapped my hands away from him and stepped back a little. He turned his chair a little to face me with one of his hands still on the keyboard. He looked up at me, a stressed but furrowed expression on his face. I wrapped my arms around myself, hugging my own chest.
“I want to spend time with you but you’re basically prioritizing this work over me.” I said again. “I understand that sometimes you have too much work. I understand that. But we haven’t been spending time with each other for the past few days and it’s driving me crazy. I just want to relax with you, Wil.” I bit the insides of my cheek. Wil, in turn, sighed and rubbed his nosebridge.
“I’m not prioritizing work over you, (y/n), I’ve just been busy lately and this argument is just stressing me out even more.” His words were spat out like venom.
“Which is why I’m asking that we just spend time together! This isn’t just for me, but it’s for you too.” I threw my hands up, frustrated. “Wilbur, we can relax together! You’re acting like this isn’t stressing me out either!”
Wil got up from his seat now. His tall figure nearly towered over me, making me slightly cower. “I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING RELAX RIGHT NOW, (Y/N)! I HAVE SHIT TO DO!”
I stepped back, nearly stumbling. Without realizing, tears were running down my burning hot cheeks. The air went cold and I felt this hallowing emptiness surrounding me. A ringing was bouncing in my eardrums and goosebumps ran through my arms and legs. He looked down at me, eyes wide as if he just realized what words escaped his lips. Before he could say a word, I walked out of the office and back into bed, slamming the door behind me.
I jumped into the mattress and buried my face deep under the sheets. I quietly sobbed into the fabric, not caring for the tears darkening the silk. It didn’t take but a couple minutes later to hear the creaking of the door and soft footsteps approaching the bed. I lied still under the covers as I felt the mattress dip from a newfound weight.
Wil sat there for a while. His knee shook a little, making a tiny thumping noise against the floor. I was turned away from him with his lower back lightly pressing against the heel of my foot.
“(y/n)..?” He softly called out for me. “Are you awake..?”
I shifted a little, moving my foot away from him to let him know I was listening. He sighed with his leg coming to a stop.
“(y/n), I’m sorry. I—I’ve just been really stressed, but that gives me no right to start yelling at you. And me being really busy has been taking away the time with you.” He paused a little bit, presumably licking his lips. I still didn’t have the courage to move. Instead I laid still, not daring to move. “I’m really sorry, (y/n).” He apologized again.
A deep sigh huffed from my nostrils before I sat up, letting the sheets cascade off my body. He turned his head to look at me, his feet still planted on the ground. I looked into his eyes, seeing the pained looked deep in those irises.
“Y-You know I don’t like loud noises.” I croaked out, my voice cracking with my words. He slowly nodded, bringing his legs up on the bed to fully face me. “And I really don’t like it when you yell. Please, I really just wanted to spend time together.”
“And we will spend time together.” He grabbed my hands and cradled them in his. “I’ll message Elodie right now if she could finish the work. But right now, it’s going to be me and you together, okay? We can maybe catch up on our show and I’ll order some food for you, okay?” He reassured, rubbing his thumb against the back of my hand. “Maybe I’ll steal some fries from you every once in a while.”
I giggled a little. “Noooo! Get your own food!” I whined, lightly pushing his shoulder. He chuckled in response before wrapping his arms around me, pulling me close to his chest. I wrapped my arms around his torso in response, breathing in his scent.
“I just missed you, Wil, you know that…” I softly whispered. He nodded, running his fingers through my hair.
“I missed you too. I promise I do.” He whispered back. His voice was low and deep but he made sure to maintain his volume. It was soothing, something I could fall asleep to,
and most importantly,
it wasn’t loud.
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
a / n ~ hope you enjoyeddd notes of all kind are super duper appreciated! if you wanna be in a taglist or an anon my inbox is always freee :D ALSO SURPRISE!! TWO ONESHOTS IN ONE DAY I AM ON A ROLLLL
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cherubfae · 3 months
Note
I'm the anon who asked if you write for mammon and adam. I just sent the ask in, but regardless of your reply i was wondering of you could write the hazbin cast +helluva boss cast (the ones you write obviously) with a super sleepy slot like s/o? Like they sleep all the dam time and are still tired as hell, so tired they literally fall to the ground while walking in silence for too much, they sit down for a second and go out cold. They move so slow it's incredible, theyre always super clingy and always hanging on by their shoulder, It's very concerning.
lmao this made me cackle. Here ya go, sweets! Apologies if you wanted something serious, I literally couldn't 😭😭 just had lunch with my mama to celebrate her belated bday and I'm very full
sloth!like partner || hazbin/helluva boss x reader
tags: fluff, comedy, this is probably mostly crack lmao, established relationships
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Alastor
Okay but remember him with the Egg Bois? That's essentially him waiting for you to get ready for your date. What feels like an eternity was only roughly thirty seconds. He hopes you haven't fallen asleep in the bathroom.
"Dearest... I could just teleport you to places with my shadow provided I'm somewhere near." He suggests. It takes him a while to get used to any sort of physical contact so he's not crazy about the clinginess and does what he can to establish boundaries if and when he feels comfortable doing so.
Lucifer
Haha! You're so adorable! He actually quite likes having you on his arm, though sometimes not literally. It's comical watching you climb him and then slowly lose your energy halfway to his shoulders and slow-motion crash land towards the ground. Rinse and repeat.
Husk
By now he's quite used to you falling asleep, especially on him. You tucker yourself out so easily, he wonders what tricks Belphegor has up their sleeves lately. Husk loves you for who you are, but he is rather curious if there's anything that can cure or at least lessen your narcoleptic behaviors.
Angel Dust
Constantly cracking jokes and puns. Some of them can come off as a little mean though it's never intended to hurt your feelings. Though, he does know not to make the 'slow-burn romance' jokes every time you guys have a date night.
Vox
He's gotten used to you being constantly sleepy and rather sluggish. He does wonder if you are, in fact, a Hellborn from Sloth instead of a Sinner sometimes or if you drew the short straw. Vox is typically okay if you're constantly sleepy and a bit sluggish, but he is a fast-paced guy and likes all aspects of his life to progress at a decent speed; romance included.
Blitzø
Deadass he's watching you slowly drag yourself face-down along the ground with a soft skrrrr skrrrr along the cement. Honestly he's surprised you made it on Earth as long as you did. This was amusing but the more you, literally, drag on Blitz isn't sure what he should do. He's probably gonna start driving everywhere. Gotta keep pollutin' bb.
Loona
With how often you sleep, Loona isn't sure how you still manage to be so tired all the time. It honestly perplexes her but she's learned to roll with it. If you're moving too slowly for her liking, she'll pick you up and carry you off like royalty-- or if you're small like Millie, Loona is gonna commit you to her backpack transit indefinitely.
Striker
|| I DON'T GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORKS TO BE REPOSTED, RESHARED, OR EDITED. TUMBLR IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT AND THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I POST MY WRITING. ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, THE STORY BELONGS TO ME. || CHERUBFAE © 2024
"Ya'llright, darlin'?" He asked with a raised brow. You just ate shit and aren't currently really doing anything about getting back into the upright position. Striker's tail swishes curiously and he gently prods you with his boot, heaving a sigh when you move.
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mitchellpete · 11 months
Text
Firsts
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summary: You’re bad at playing hard to get, and you don’t want to let the opportunity slip. Maverick gives you your first motorcycle ride.
pairing: pete “maverick” mitchell x gn!reader
tags/warnings: maverick being flirty, shy!reader but also not really?, some drinking mentioned, overall fluff
word count: 1.4k
A/N: i feel terrible that i keep making excuses not to post so i'll let you guys have this one. i don't know who's still on top gun tumblr but i hope you guys are still around. and that you guys like this! it was supposed to be a drabble but..?? ANDDD one more thing: my request page has updated also!
-
“Wait, you’ve never been on a bike before?”
“I’ve been on a bike. I’ve never been on a motorcycle.”
Maverick scoffs and then cocks a brow, a smirk tugging at his lips in his frail attempt at reading you, or at least pretending he knew you.
Except he doesn’t, because out of the many outings at the bar, tonight had been the first time he’d spotted you. You were ashamed to admit that it was kind of flattering having him follow you around for a good half an hour, even after you locked eyes with mustache Hawaiian shirt blonde guy across the room. Ah, it was all a game. But God, was Maverick pretty. And charming. You couldn’t decide whether you were bad at playing hard to get or if you simply didn’t mind being the game.
(It was definitely the former.)
Panic filled you later that night when you watched him slip his jacket on on the opposite side of the room. He was still distractedly rambling with his friend, however, and you took the opportunity to push past at least 5 people and make it out of the door before he did. 
What to say or do the moment he stepped out? Your head was empty. But hey, he’d see you out there, make another flirtatious comment, make you blush and then it’d go on from there, right? God, please. 
This had to have been like the fourth time you’d seen him. He was most certainly the prettiest out of all the aviators that confidently waltzed into the bar every time you and your friend met for drinks. 
Miramar. A lovely place, truly. 
Beautiful, too. The sunset is beginning to form, and you step towards the wooden fence separating the sand from the small parking lot in front of the building. A packed bar, only a few vehicles. You wonder if any of them belong to Maverick. You pray that he walks this way at all.
The beach in front of you is littered with people, families, couples. There is chatter everywhere, drowning out the sound of the bell on the door behind you, or the sound of his voice if he happens to be walking out, talking to his friend.
That’s why when you eventually zone out maybe a good ten minutes later, you don’t notice that he’s already walked past you, striding towards the vehicle closest to you. The motorcycle. Red, black, adorned with decals that match the patches on his pretty jacket. You wish you’d noticed. 
He’d certainly noticed you, watching you avoid his gaze as he swung a leg over and took a seat. “Going for a swim?”
FUCK.
Tongue in your cheek, you meet his eyes. “No. I.. needed some air. Where’s your friend?”
“Where’s yours?” A cheeky smile spread on his face as he reached for the handles. 
Oh, he’s sooooooo—
“Inside. I’m uh, actually waiting for another friend right now. She’s picking me up soon, I think.” Lies, lies, lies.
“In a car?” 
“On a motorcycle, actually. How fast does yours go?” Jesus Christ. You know nothing about motorcycles, by the way.
He leans slightly forward, intrigued by your response. “Faster.”
“Hm.” You glance out at the shoreline again, at the sun turning bright orange. You feel the warmth on your cheeks. Stupid. You’re playing hard to get again, for fuck’s sake. He’s too pretty, it makes you nervous. 
Lucky for you, he breaks the tense feeling in your stomach with a laugh. “Actually?” 
He sticks the key into the ignition, filling you with the slight panic from before that he’s slipping away.
You fake a snicker, although it comes out dry and humorless. “I’m kidding. I don’t know a thing about motorcycles.”
The sudden rev of the engine startles you, and he smiles. “Some people are just meant to look pretty on the back of ‘em, I think.”
There was already a warmth to your cheeks, but now it’s heat. “Well.. that sounds like fun.”
Furrowed brows. “Wait, you’ve never been on a bike before?”
You snicker again, this time for real. “I’ve been on a bike. I’ve never been on a motorcycle.”
Maverick scoffs and then cocks a brow, a smirk tugging at his lips in his frail attempt at reading you, or at least pretending he knew you. Playfully rolling his eyes, he revs the engine again and waves you over with his hand. “Come on.”
Your face falls. A different kind of panic. “Huh?”
“Just a quick ride. Before your friend gets here.”
“A-are you sure?” 
“You’re scared?” He grins.
“I—No. I just..” You hesitantly make your way over, your legs suddenly weak. “I drank a little, so I don’t—”
“Can you relax?” He laughs again, his laughter as pretty as he is. “It’s not scary, I promise. Here, step on that part. Just hold onto me and hop on.” He points down below and then sticks his arm out for you to grab.
“I’m not scared,” you mumble as you manage to perch yourself on the space behind him, careful not to grip his arm too tight. “I think you’re a little strange, is all.”
 “How so? You gotta hold onto me, sweetheart.” Another engine rev. What is his deal?
You lean forward as much as you can, pressing yourself to him and wrapping your arms around his middle. The seat behind his is slightly raised, and your face absentmindedly presses into the back crook of his neck. It’s too late to pull back when you realize, and the heat in your cheeks starts to burn. Nevertheless, you go through with your accusations.
“Well,” you begin, conscious of your voice as to not be loud in his ear. “You follow me around the bar for some stupid bet, and.. now you’ve forced me onto your bike.”
Ha. As if you hadn’t planned all of this. Sort of.
Another pretty laugh. “It’s a motorcycle,” he mocks you. 
That gets a laugh out of you, squeezing your arms around him a bit as he starts to move. 
“Although, I do have to say—” He halts, a foot firm on the ground, and turns to look you over his shoulder. “Out of anybody I’ve followed around the bar, you’re the only one I’d give a ride to.”
God. You think you’re already in love with him. “That so?”
He presses his lips together and nods, fake serious. 
Pressing your forehead to the back of his jacket, you chuckle. “I guess that means I owe you something.”
“I’ll start driving on one condition,” he offers, his tone playful.
“Hm?”
“Give me a kiss.”
Oh boy. It’s easy by now; you’re already melting into him. Glancing up, your surroundings become a blur and all the outside chatter, the bell on the door and the sound of the other cars go completely silent as you lean your neck to reach. It’s a peck, but it’s complete; all of your lips feel the soft skin of his cheek, plump from a smile under your kiss. And then your chin goes to rest on his shoulder, and next thing you know, you’re off. 
There’s suddenly wind; you weren’t prepared for your hair to flow, as he took off from the parking lot and immediately down the road.
You’re clinging onto him with all your might, maybe a little scared for a moment, but then it starts to feel nice. You don’t even recall the moment he’d slipped his aviators on; perhaps the little kiss you gave him left you in awe instead of vice-versa, or maybe it was the drinks you’d had earlier? Maverick says something but you barely hear it, your stomach fluttering in excitement as he swerves between cars to get out of their way, to fly by beyond them on the road and to make the moment about just the two of you. Nobody else on the road. 
He turns onto a different road, this one longer and less crowded, and you squeal as he starts going faster. A euphoric feeling overtakes you, and even in the wind, through the sound of the engine and Maverick’s muffled voice, you’re convinced you can’t let him slip away after this one either. 
“Maverick!”
Wind, wind, wind. The engine.
Tapping a hand on his side instead, you catch his attention. He slows down just a bit, momentarily glancing over his shoulder again before looking back at the road. 
“You wanna stop?” he yells.
“No!” you shout back. “I just wanted you to know something!”
“What is it?!”
You lean closer to his ear, face in the crook of his neck again. “I was lying! There is no friend!”
He grins. “I know!”
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teaspoonnebula · 3 months
Note
Hullo, I am so sorry if this ask is a weird one but. You are in the fandom for a long time, and I need to know, is it me or is the ACD SH fandom *not* insane?? Everywhere else where I've been, I see people turning on each other, fighting over characters and the morality of liking them and not liking them, telling people to go kill themselves and here. I have been in this corner of Tumblr for a few months now, and everybody seems normal? Am I just not deep enough yet to sew the drama, or is this really just a place where people hang out to enjoy something together??? Are we just too old of a fandom to do this?
(feel free not to answer if this is too weird or anything)
Sorry my reply got really long. I've broken it up with memes in the hope that it makes it more readable.
I've been in the fandom for a few years now, and I don't have much to compare against because I've generally avoided fandom spaces because they seem pretty intense (and I've not had a piece of media grab me quite like this before) but yeah it seems pretty chill?
I think there are lots of possible reasons why.
It might be that the fandom skews a little older, with lots of people who have enough life experience to know how to de-escalate tension when they encounter it, and when to walk away from the keyboard.
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It might be that there's a century-old understanding that we're all playing a silly tongue-in-cheek game with characters from magazine stories that were never supposed to be analysed this way. Remember the term "canon" as used in fandom circles was invented by Sherlock Holmes fans (specifically my boy Ronald Knox) as a joke, a deliberate cute misapplication of a term used for discussing the Bible to something frivolous. Not taking yourself too seriously is very baked into Sherlockian culture.
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I sometimes get glimpses from other fandoms of this puritanical attitude that to like or not like a character or a piece of work is somehow a moral act, and I find that... bewildering. A bit scary. To be a fan of Sherlock Holmes is inherently to love something dearly which also contains things which should be hated: racism, sexism, imperialism. I think that fans tend to be people well used to approaching literature with the level of nuance required to process that dichotomy. To acknowledge it rather than hide from it.
It might also be because it's public domain. A big blockbuster movie or pastiche by a celebrated writer is precisely as legitimate as every fanfic on Ao3. Or the CGI movie where they're gnomes. Or a slightly wonky point and click game someone is obsessively making in their spare time (...coughcougheveryonewishlist 'The Beekeepers' Picnic' onsteam) Sherlock Holmes belongs to everyone equally regardless of how much money and power they have, which is why I love it.
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Like, I love him as a character, I love the Victoriana, I love the mysteries, but the #1 reason I've gone gaga over Sherlock Holmes these past few years is the joy of loving a thing which isn't controlled by a corporation and which does not exist to make money (anymore).
I'm not saying there's zero drama because I think when you get a bunch of people passionate about something there will always be a little drama. I'll see things like the jostling of people who are very protective of asexual readings of Holmes and people who are very protective of gay readings of Holmes, things like that. Feelings can run high when personal identity is involved. But I've never seen anything got too vicious.
Errrr yeah idk if you wanted an essay as a response but you got one!
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rivkadreamer · 8 months
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Push and Pull.
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a/n: I actually have no idea what is this, I'm sorry. This was supposed to be a short drabble since I've been wanting to post something to Tumblr for quite some time and then...I got carried away, ahaha. Also I'm posting this through my phone, so if the formating is weird...ops.
Warnings: None, this is not proof read.
Genre: Hurt/comfort (?), light angst, fluffy at the end.
Summary: Scaramouche isn't the best with words, but for you, he's willing to tone down a little.
Alternatively: where his darling is fed up with his bad attitude and give him a scare to make him man up lmao.
Words count: 1.18k
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Imagine Scaramouche with a significant other who does exactly just what he asks for.
He tells you to leave? Sure, right off the door.
He tells you to not talk to him anymore? Okay, you stay silent like a mute person until he cracks and asks you a question.
He tells your presence is annoying? Watch him crawl back after weeks you went aloof, ignoring his presence in your life. Begrudgingly, he will start to tell you that he had some matters to attend in the specific area he found you, acting like it was a big coincidence you two end up meeting.
It's not as if you don't know that most of the stuff he tells you, he doesn't mean it, not really. You do know it, but that's the thing.
You are a human being, someone who has it's own thoughts, opinions and feelings. And since the beginning of this relationship, Scaramouche made a point quite a few times to ignore it, not trying to apologize or understand that even if you know he doesn't mean it, his actions still might hurt.
How did you two even got in a relationship, in the first place? You, yourself don't know. Sometimes it feels like he sees you more as a subordinate than a lover.
That's when you started taking the approach to stop reading between the fine lines of his words, trying to save some face and dignity he stole from you by crossing and neglecting the boundaries of your good will again and again, discarding your words when you tried to talk to him about it.
Honestly, he's similar to kid throwing a tantrum sometimes. Except he just narrow his eyes at you or gives you a hard glare when you fail to meet his needs. Scoffing when you not bother to try to understand the hidden meaning behind his harsh words, everytime he throws them rudely at your face.
The day he finally got your message through that stubborn head of his, was the day he blew up at your face and took his rage out on you after a particular stress inducing week.
Screaming at you how useless you are, how he didn't need you by his side and how you were a nuisance for foolish thinking he needed some kind of comfort. He told you such humans silly rituals and interactions where bellow him, to just stop nagging him and finding something better to do if this was what you interrupted his work for.
You tried to reason with him, saying that being here for him was just what you were for, what lovers do, they support each other. You just wanted to help him.
Then, he told you that you could help him by getting out of his life, since all you did was get in his way, distracting him from his goals by forcing your unwanted affection down his throat. His words cut deep and managed to finally shut you up, much for his relief.
You noticed that and frowned. You knew he didn't mean it, you knew that. But there's a limit to everything and you have reached yours. Getting the memo that he wants to be alone, you quietly left his office and made your way to his Fatui headquarters, determined to once more do just what he asked of you.
Scaramouche's blood run cold when he saw the empty room, devoid of any of your belongings or clothes. Many scenarios took a turn to settle upon his head, making his thoughts scatter all over the place as the initial shock wear down. The likely scenarios of you being kidnapped or leaving and abandoning him as many others did in the past, always betraying on the bitter end of everything, left him reeling and fuming on the very same spot he lost you.
He frantically searched for you all over the place, sending his Fatui underlings to look through every leaf and hole around the area, not leaving a single rock unturned.
When he finally found you, he was seething with fury, eyes practically bulging out of his face as he angrily demanded to know with a dark voice just what were you thinking and how dare you abandon him just like her did.
Scaramouche righteous anger quickly died down, however, when you threw at his face the same words he spoke earlier on his spur of the moment outburst, reciting letter for letter the painful words he spat like venom at you, wounding your heart in the process. That's when he noticed the hurt flashing through your eyes, a hurt dangerously alike to his.
His face fell.
He was quiet for a moment. Digesting your words wasn't easy. Scaramouche was never good with feelings and he always runs away from whatever situations that require him to face with the complex bundle of emotions that swirls just inside him. They're the moments he's forced to face the fact that he feels just as much as any human he so readily declares bellow him, feels.
And he hates himself for it. It reminds him too much of the time he was but a wandering vagrant of Tatarasuna, eyes sparkling full of wonder and curiosity. In all his glorified naivety, hopeful and yearning for the love of a family he could never attain.
But he hates your absence even more. It exudes such a gruesome, hollow emotion, it brings a hateful sting behind his eyes. Bringing himself to sit down by your side, and for the first time in all of the duration of your relationship, admitting that he was the one in the wrong. He apologizes and begs for you not to go, to not leave him alone.
He truly doesn't know if he can outgrow the pain of being without you, and surprises himself with how earnest he is being, realizing in the process he's much more attached to you than he initially thought.
His own metaphorical heart quivers with the notion, drumming forcefully and shaking the electric cords of his handmade body to it's core. It scares him, the vulnerability of it all, right now feels the same as being completely naked before your eyes. But the fact that you were about to slip away from his reach was terrifying, so he presses on...
After this incident, his behavior do not do an whole 180° turn, but he mellows out quite a bit.
He listens now. He stops with the unnecessary rude comments and have actual talks between the two of you, paying attention to your body reactions to assure himself he hasn't spout anything harmful.
The most noticable change is how he looks more for you and, how he doesn't push you away anymore, when you come to see him. He doesn't outrightly say he enjoys your presence, but he doesn't put a tough facade just to drive you away and prove his point about being "superior", either. He's still serious, but gentler. A soft expression on his face that is reserved for you and these quiet moments with you, and you only.
Talking and communication are still a sore spot for him, being truthful and honest about his emotions not coming as naturally to him as it comes to you.
But he's trying, and for the time being, that's enough for you.
"Where are you going? No, you can stay. You aren't distracting me, how arrogant of you to think so. Contrary to the bumbling fools I hesitate to call co-workers, your presence is much more calming. I feel reassured when you are by my side, so stay."
There's a quiet murmur at the end.
"Please, darling." ~♡
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End note: My first fic ever posted on Tumblr 🎉 (PS: I have no idea how Tumblr works LMAO)
[@rivkadreamer on Tumblr, please do not steal my works.]
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captainsharkyy · 3 months
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Happy Valentine's Day, guys! Here goes my first post on Tumblr
Matthias Czernin x Reader
The paper flowers started to appear on the floor in front of his door only a few days after he arrived at the manor. They would appear in the morning and after dinner. One after another, Matthias wasn't quite sure what to do with them, and he couldn't throw them away mindlessly after seeing how carefully crafted they were. Did whoever put the paper flowers in front of his door know that was to his room? He doubted they were truly for him, but when the flowers started to come bunched up into mini bouquets, he began to feel a little special.
The first paper flower was a camellia. He accidentally stepped on it coming out of his room, but he saved it and kept it on his desk. He wondered, that day, if that paper flower was really meant for him or not. Surely there was someone next to him who was more deserving of such a craft. The paper flower that showed up after dinner was a sunflower that Matthias also accidentally stepped on.
He quickly asked his next door neighbor, the embalmer, if the paper flower was meant for him. The man seemed a little spooked but kept his calm composure. He let out a soft 'no' before returning to his room for the night. Matthias looked down at the paper sunflower curiously, then he heard footsteps coming from the hallway behind him. He turned around to face the person walking,
"Excuse me," he said, loud enough for the person to hear. They stopped in their tracks, standing stiff straight. "I found this paper flower in front of my door, and I feel it was not meant for me," he continued. "So, I was wondering if, ah, if you knew who this belongs to..?" The person quickly shook their head and ran to their room and shut the door immediately. With a disappointed sigh, Matthias returned to his room and placed the paper sunflower next to the camellia from that morning.
The third paper flower was a tulip, and the one after dinner was a lilly of the valley. The fith paper flower was a blue star, and the one that came later on was an orange rose.
The seventh paper flower was a lavender. By now, Matthias had enough of the paper crafts to make a bouquet if he so wanted to.
That day, he consulted the gardener to see if she had anything to do with the flowers. She only giggled at his question and directed him to the library to a few books on flowers. He sat down at a small table with a few books, picking one up and looking through the glossary for the specific flowers.
As he slowly read through, a nice feeling resonated within him. Happiness, maybe? He couldn't quite tell. A small smile graced his features. Maybe the flowers were meant for him after all. He heard a few books fall and someone running out of the library fast.
That night, when Matthias returned to his room, a yellow tulip and a singular pink rose were tied together in front his his door. This continued for a few weeks: a paper flower in the morning, attend games (if any), dinner, and a paper flower at night. Of course, by now, he had heard of Y/n L/n, the origamist, but he could never find them in a manor, not even in games either. And no matter who Matthias asked, no one ever said where they were. It was as if everyone was helping them hide from something. He couldn't help but feel like he had something to do with it, as though they were afraid of him.
The thought didn't exactly boost his confidence by much at all, but he could fight the bad feelings off when the paper flowers continued to arrive. He assumed it meant that Y/n could see him, but he couldn't see them. If that was the case, he hoped they would show themself to him one day.
Looking at the floor when he opened his door, Matthias noticed a difference. Instead of one paper flower, there was a small bouquet of them. He picket up the bouquet of paper gardenias with care and placed them on his night stand, next to a few stray flowers from the previous weeks. He had acquired so many paper flowers that they flooded his desk, so he had to place them in random areas in his room. Although, he did get a few vases for them and that cleared up a lot of space.
Matthias had found no sign of Y/n that day, but he did come back to his room that night to two bouquets: one being a bouquet of forget-me-nots, and the other a bouquet of pink roses. He smiled a little, at the thought that maybe getting two paper bouquets in the same night meant something.
The next morning there was a bouquet of white chrysanthemums, and that night there was a bouquet of white lillies. And the morning afterward, there was a bouquet of ivory roses, and that night there was a bouquet of lavender roses.
When Matthias opened the door the next morning there was no bouquet of paper flowers. Confused, he looked down the hall but there was no sign of one. Perhaps they grew tired of making paper flowers for him, or perhaps they lost interest in him as a whole? But that couldn't be, those flowers held meanings he just couldn't ignore.
He didn't realize what day it was until he walked the halls of the manor, seeing the decorations, and seeing people in the manor trade gifts and heartfelt words. Matthias felt his stomach sink with disappointment that his secret admirer he didn't leave a gift in front of his door like they usually would do.
Matthias walked back to his room, coming from the main living room of the manor. The devastating sound of creaking wood and gears clinked and ground together beside him.
"Too bad everyone ignored you!" Said Louis. "Did'ya see? Everyone looked at me!" Matthias opened the door from the foyer, leading to the upstairs level of the manor, and Louis skipped beside him. Matthias said nothing in response, opting to ignore him lest he wants to feel further down in the dumps. Once he stepped in front of his room and turned the handle to open the door, and hand suddenly slapped against the wall causing him to jump in suprise and turn his attention to the noise. He focused his attention on the mystery person with a pounding heart, only to be surprised once again.
A survivor he hadn't yet met in person greeted him with (e/c) eyes glimmering with excitement, cheeks tinted a bright red, a bouquet of paper flowers and a pink envelope with a red heart wax seal. Within the bouquet were carefully crafted red roses, lavender flowers, daisies, and red snapdragons
Matthias's voice caught in his throat as he cautiously accepted the envelope and tore the wax seal to open it and took out the card inside to read it.
"Dear Matthias,
Happy Valentine's Day!
I'm sorry if I disappointed you for a while before this, I wanted to wait until the perfect moment to give this to you. I just wanted to tell you that I really like you, and I'd like to spend more time with you! So, I wanted to know if you will be my Valentine's!
Yours truly, Y/n L/n, the Origamist."
Matthias felt his face flush red. It was them! Finally, he meets Y/n! His features were graced with a small smile when Y/n moved the bouquet closer to him. He cleared his throat,
"W-Would you..." he hesitated, knowing Louis would be with him, "...like to come in?" He asked them. With a delighted smile, they eagerly nodded their head. Matthias opened the door to his room and stepped aside for them and then followed in afterwards. Louis's face hit the closed door with a thud and a groan followed afterward.
Hope you liked it!
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