#but maybe i need that….but that’s friday me’s problem when i work my half day | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tyunkus · 1 year

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amazon wishlist — kang taehyun

pairing: roommate!kang taehyun x afab!reader summary: your roommate and best friend, taehyun, finds a dildo on your amazon wishlist.

wc: 5.5k

warnings: masturbation, dry humping, dirty talk (praise, some degradation), pet names (princess, angel, baby, pretty), like One spank, teasing/humiliation?, penetrative, safe sex, mention of cunnilingus and handjob, also unrealistic because taehyun games here but. let me live my gamer bf dreams ok?

note: originally wrote this in 3rd person and then had to manually change it to 2nd person so sorry for any mistakes ! also still figuring how this site works so sorry for the plain formatting. i dont actually know if amazon sells dildos, and if they cost $30? probably not but yk... artistic liberty... capitalism...

There’s no chicken.

You notice this one Friday afternoon in the middle of July, while the pavements outside sizzle from the heat and the sun spills through the windows and warms up your back. You’re in the kitchen, sifting through a pathetic heap of frozen food. Usually, you head to the nearby supermarket after pilates class to pick up a pack of bacon; other times, Taehyun comes home after a day with Kai bearing a bag of frozen wedges. Either way, it’s clear that neither of you have bought anything edible since your last grocery run two weeks ago.

Frozen french fries. Korean corndogs. A half-empty pack of fishcakes. No chicken.

You open the fridge, eyes skimming over its meager contents, as if it would be there. It isn’t. You open the freezer again, wondering if the gods above would be so gracious as to summon some chicken breast into your freezer to feed you and your roommate tonight. They don’t.

“Maybe we should go grocery shopping.”

You’re fresh from a long, elaborate shower. Your hair falls in wet tresses over your shoulders and you’re clad in dolphin shorts and a big shirt that might have been Taehyun’s but you borrowed so often and for so long that he probably forgot it ever belonged to him. It’s your turn to cook dinner and you’re grumbling over the fact that Taehyun cooked your only remaining pack of chicken breast last night when you hear his bedroom door click open.

Just in time. A shitty rap song follows the sound of the soft padding of his footsteps against the floor. “Hey, you home?” he calls from halfway down the hallway, but you cut him off before he can say anything else.

“I told you I would cook chicken and you still finished it last night, and now there’s nothing for me to cook, asshole,” you say, more exasperated than angry. You turn around just as he walks in, wearing nothing but black joggers and his obnoxious RGB headset. His eyes are wide and bashful. You wrinkle your nose and turn around again. “What happened to your shirt?”

Taehyun has the decency to sound sheepish. “Sorry, I was playing with the boys,” he mumbles, like that wasn’t painfully obvious already. You have no problem with seeing Taehyun or shirtless guys by themselves, but a shirtless Taehyun has you torn between wanting to throw up and throwing away your clothes. Maybe to other people having a first-class view of his washboard abs sounds like a blessing, but to you, it’s only a level below mental distress.

“Tell Kai I said hi,” you say absently, now going through your drawers for restaurant flyers (if worse comes to worst, you’ll order takeout for tonight). “Anyway, what’d you come outside for?”

“I needed to talk to you about something.”

At this, you peer over your shoulder, studying Taehyun’s face. He doesn’t look particularly upset, just stoic, which is a dangerous sign in itself. Taehyun’s usually calm, but he’s not stoic—at least, not in this stage of your friendship, when Taehyun has known you long enough to stop pretending that he’s some sort of tsundere.

“Is something wrong?” you ask softly, turning around to lean against the counter.

“I saw your wishlist on Amazon. Why do you have a dildo on there?”

The words fall on you like a bucket of hardened cement. You feel your heart rate increase by about a thousand beats.

“I—you what?” you sputter in disbelief. There are a few seconds in-between this moment of horror where you want to scold him, yell at him, do anything, but it’s not like he’s in the wrong. It’s your Amazon wishlist. But why was he snooping around on it? And why did you put a dildo on it? Fuck. Your mind searches for an intelligent response, but all that falls out of your mouth is, “Other people can see that?”

Taehyun raises his eyebrows. “Yes? I hope you didn’t share it with your parents or anything, ‘cause it’s like, the first one on the list.”

You grip the counter, suddenly feeling very ill. “Oh. Shit.” You had not done anything of the sort—you kept your parents away from your online presence for that very reason. But if anyone was to stumble upon your questionable wishlist on Amazon dot com, you weren’t expecting Taehyun of all people. Your best friend? And roommate? Really? Fuck Jeff Bezos, for real.

“But that’s besides the point,” Taehyun says, advancing towards you, and you back up a little. Between his tall, wide-shouldered frame and you being a good bit smaller, you discover that it is very, very easy to feel intimidated, almost trapped, by him. “Why do you need to buy one? You know I got a dick, right?”

It’s like another punch to the stomach, except someone also crushed your head with a boulder. If you weren’t red before, you definitely are now, sweat pooling at your palms at his implication. “What the fuck are you talking about.”

Taehyun shrugs and reaches behind you to grab a glass from the dish holder. “I’m just saying,” he says, making his way over to the sink. “Why waste thirty dollars on some plastic when you can get the real thing for free? And better?”

Are you even hearing him right? “Genuinely what are you on,” you say, still aghast. “I wanted to buy one because—because—I mean, I-I don’t know, it’s normal! Shit, Taehyun, does it really matter? Don’t tell me you’re being serious.”

He shrugs again. “Why not?”

You say the first thing that pops into your mind. “What if it sucks?”

Taehyun only laughs. “You really have that little faith in me?”

“I don’t know!” You think briefly on the sex talks you two have had—some you had sprawled over each other on the couch, glasses of soju in hand; others you had during movie nights, clay masks smeared over your faces while you struggled not to laugh too hard. They were fun, sure, but it’s one thing to hear Taehyun talk about fucking other people and another to hear him talk about fucking you. To your knowledge, Taehyun’s pretty good in bed, but… But why are you even considering it? You both have been best friends for years. If you have sex, it’s only going to ruin your friendship. There are other ways for you to feel good—ways that don’t risk a seven-year friendship and getting kicked out of the apartment.

“I don’t know,” you say again, suddenly terrified at yourself for not giving him a straight answer. It should be a hard, flat no! You shouldn’t be considering it all! Yet here you are, your brain suddenly full of the thought of Taehyun and his dick.

“Hey, I’m just saying. Trying to open up some options for you here. I’m one hundred percent willing, but only if you are.” Taehyun puts up his hands like that settles it. He flashes you a smile. “Just tell me, okay? And if you still don’t want to, that’s chill too. We’ll both act like this never happened.”

Is that even possible? “Right,” you say, feeling faint. “Okay, yeah.”

Taehyun’s smile doesn’t fade. You can only watch as he takes a swig of water and shuffles happily to his room.

You think about it. Probably a bit too much.

You have an essay to write for your class, and it’s due in a few hours—but you can’t stop thinking about it. It being Taehyun fucking you. In your defense, you’ve been pent up all week, trying to balance your academics and health and social life and Taehyun all without having any time for yourself, so it makes sense, you think. You hope it makes sense that you’re fantasizing about your roommate, considering everything that’s happening to you.

You shut your laptop and sigh, lying back down on your bed. Taehyun has been acting completely normal in the three days between now and when he had first made his offer, which you are endlessly grateful for, but also bewildered by. He had even paid for takeout that same night, and you had eaten it together on the floor of your living room, and it was like nothing had even happened. Still, you’ve been mulling it over ever since. Pondering it, if you will. And it’s not your first time. Many nights you have found your tired, worn-out brain wandering to your roommate, his pretty face, great body, cute personality… How it would feel. What he would do. Taehyun, leaning over you, kissing you, running his pretty hands up and down your skin. Nipping at your collarbone with his sharp, perfect teeth. Grazing them along your neck, sucking at the soft parts.

Fuck. You’re wet.

You feel crazy.

Your hands slide down your panties, face burning with shame. The only thing you can think of is Taehyun, his soft skin and pretty brown eyes, his lean arms and chest. You picture him above you, caging you between his arms, a glittering smile on his face as he touches you, his back muscles flexing. Do you like that? he whispers, his voice low and raspy. You don’t even have to work hard to imagine what he sounds like during sex—the walls here are awfully thin, he’s a twenty-one-year-old guy, and you’ve thought about it more often than not.

“Fuck,” you keen, your hips rolling up as you dip your finger into your folds. Your free hand trails up your torso and into your mouth; you roll your tongue around your fingers and wish, crazily, that you were sucking on Taehyun’s instead. “Shit, oh f—”

“About your offer.”

You’re sitting at the dining table. Taehyun is halfway through his serving of pancakes that you made for him in a partly-tired, mostly-horny daze. After a particularly busy morning, you can’t remember much of last night other than the fact that you fucked yourself sore and came three times in a row, no refractory period, and now you can barely hold your fork.

Taehyun looks up at you. He’s shirtless again. If you were any crazier you would be disappointed that he never left much room for imagination before your first time together. “My offer,” he echoes.

“From a few days ago,” you clarify, poking your fork through your slice of toast. “The. You-fucking-me thing.”

“Ah.” Taehyun leans back and you can tell he’s fighting down a smile. “Yeah, what about it?”

“Well. I’ve been kinda… you know, lately,” you begin, staring hard at your plate, “and I was gonna buy the… you know, but then I realized my shipping address is still at my parents’ house and I really don’t want to wait for another week or pay extra to get it the next day or pay thirty dollars for a plastic dick so—”

“So you want me to fuck you?”

You let out a breath and brave a glance at him. “Yeah,” you mumble.

“That’s all you had to say,” Taehyun says with a smile. He pushes his plate away and fixes you with a look. “When do you want to do it? Kinda weird to be planning this out, no?”

You groan and bury your face in your hands. “This is exactly why I didn’t want to do it,” you groan.

Taehyun laughs, reaching over to touch your arm. “Don’t worry about it. What about later tonight? After you’re finished with your homework, I can help you unwind,” he suggests, and he sounds like he’s just telling you about the weather—but his voice has dropped about three octaves and normally you would find this shit cringe, but. Holy fuck.

You aren’t one for slutshaming, but perhaps you are one yourself. You squeeze your thighs together and nod, your gaze falling to the table. “Sure. That sounds good.”

“Good. You can come to my room once you’ve finished. I won’t be playing tonight, so don’t worry about interrupting. Well, you might be interrupting something, but—”

“Okay, okay, I get it. Nooo need to elaborate,” you spit, standing up and picking up your plate. Taehyun laughs as you walk over to the sink and put away your dish. When you return back to the dining table, he continues eating like nothing happened. “I’ll go study now.”

“Study well, pretty.”

You make a vague sound of affirmation before slipping inside your room again. You back up against the door and take a second to breathe, then shuffle over to your closet.

Your panties are wet. Again.

“Come in.”

You step inside his room. It’s dark—his lights aren’t on, save for the RGB strips on his setup. He sits on his chair, legs spread, lap looking awfully inviting. For once, he’s wearing a hoodie, and he looks like he just got off a game.

“I expected to catch you at a more… compromising time,” you say, carefully.

“Funny way to say you wanted to see me jerking off.”

“I didn’t say that,” you say with a frown, and you stop walking in front of his chair. Taehyun pats his lap. He’s smiling so, so wide.

“Take a seat.”

You’re grateful when his hands reach up to cup your waist, guiding you as you slide a leg over him and sit down. It’s weird—oddly comfortable, but your tits are pressed up against his chest and your faces are really, really close. Like, close enough you can see each of his eyelashes. He’s so, so pretty.

Taehyun looks you in the eye. “Can I kiss you?” he asks, voice soft. When you nod, he hums and squeezes your waist. “Alright. Tell me about your day.”

“Huh?”

“Foreplay, baby. That’s like, the whole essence of a hookup.” Taehyun raises his eyebrows at you. “Would you just play along?”

“Fine, fine. I didn’t do mu—oh,” you gasp, as Taehyun’s lips latch onto your neck, pulling you into him. “Ah, fuck. I didn’t do much. I—I woke up early and did some assignments. Got a ninety percent on my mock exams.”

“Woah,” Taehyun says, pulling away. His eyes are bright. “Really?”

“Yeah. All of them.”

“Damn. Good job. Sometimes I forget you’re smart and hot,” he murmurs in between kisses. “Perfect girl.”

Holy shit. “Um—and then I went to the gym and this guy asked me for my number,” you continue. Taehyun licks at your throat and bites down hard. “Ow, fuck you. I said no thanks and then went back home and showered.”

“Did you do anything in the shower?”

You scoff as he licks along your jaw. “No. I’m not a perv like you.”

“Not a good idea to make fun of the guy who’s about to fuck you.”

“Sorry. Can’t help it.”

“And then what?”

“And then I had breakfast with you and after, I… I fucked myself a little.” Taehyun groans and your breath hitches in your throat. “I thought of you.”

He chuckles. “I would have been a little confused if you hadn’t. You must have been so pent up, baby, huh?”

You grab a fistful of his hair and pulls him away from your neck so your eyes meet. “I’ve been thinking of you. For a long time. Even before you made the offer,” you say, barely breathing. Your grip loosens, and you watch as his eyes grow dark. “Anytime I got h-horny, I—I imagined you. And I… was going to buy the toy ’cause I never thought I’d get the real thing with you.”

Taehyun seems taken aback, but his face of faint surprise melts into his usual cocky smile and he presses his lips against yours.

“I’m sorry to disappoint, but the real thing is a little bigger than five inches, baby.”

If you weren’t wet before, you’re drenched now. You feel a little bad for his grey sweatpants, the front all smeared with your precum. But knowing Taehyun, he’d probably like that.

You continue kissing for a while, Taehyun’s gaming chair creaking incessantly underneath your weight, but you’re too turned on to be bothered. He’s still playing with your panties, rubbing you over them. You honestly, truly might die.

“Taehyun,” you say, pulling away. He looks like a mess, lipgloss smeared all over his mouth, hair messy from your constant running your hands through them. “Can you touch me?”

“I am touching you, baby.”

You whine. “No, no, like—like inside me, please, fuck.”

“Use your pretty voice to ask me nicely.”

You take a deep breath but it’s let out as a whimper. “Please, Taehyun. Fuck me with your fingers,” you mumble, burying your face in his neck. “Please, please. Please.”

“Good job, princess. Of course. Anything you want.”

And you—you almost die, and it shows with the way you squeezes your thighs together and nuzzle your face deeper into his shoulder, letting out a soft moan when he finally moves to comply.

Taehyun seems to notice, because something in his eyes shifts and he leans in, kissing your cheek. “Do you like it when I praise you, baby? Come on, tell me everything. Tell me what turns you on. Want to make you feel good.”

“I like praise, yeah,” you say, your voice trembling as he moves his hands down to the hem of your panties. “Praise and… And some degradation, too, but mostly praise. I like pet names and—fuck—biting and spanking and k-kissing, fuck, even just kissing turns me on so much.”

“I can tell, baby.” Taehyun glides a finger over your cunt and smiles. “You’re fucking soaked. So cuuute.” He coos it, like you’re some sort of cute doll and not his fucking roommate whose pussy he’s playing with.

It makes you whimper, your fingers shaking where they should be holding onto Taehyun’s shoulders. “Ugh, fuck,” you squeak. “Fuck you.”

“Let me do it first. Grind down on me, pretty.”

You comply and gasp a little at the hardness underneath you. “Fuck. You’re so—”

Taehyun hums, his hands moving to your waist, helping you rock harder against him. “Just for you. I’ve been hard all day just thinking about you.”

You make a pathetic sound at the back of your throat and kiss him, your mind suddenly flooded with images of him touching himself right here in his chair, the slick sound of his hand wrapped around his cock, all while he thinks of you. Without warning, he reaches up his free hand and lightly taps at your cheek; you don’t even have to think about it before your mouth falls open and his fingers slide in.

“Perfect,” Taehyun breathes, and your heart skips in your chest. “You’re so good, fuck. Didn’t even have to ask, what a good girl.”

You grind down harder. Taehyun throws his head back and lets out something between a sigh and a groan. “Fuck, princess,” he rasps. “You’re so cute.” He reaches up with his other hand to caress your flushed face. “You feel really—ugh—really fucking good.”

“Oh my god, wait, fuck, wait—” You whimper around his fingers and slow to a stop; your hands clutch at the back of his hoodie. You whine into the cloth, breathing him in, feeling him all over you. His hands move down to your waist, squeezing gently. You can hardly breathe. “I… I was getting close. I don’t wanna come yet.”

Taehyun shifts a little under you; you huff when his hands slide under your ass and he moves to stand up, lifting you with him. “Let’s move to the bed, then,” he grunts, and your legs close around his waist as he carries the both of you to his bed.

He preoccupies himself by kissing you—your lips don’t move away from each other’s as you tumble onto the mattress. Your mind is racing. You’ve imagined kissing Taehyun so many times before, fantasized about how it felt, and these past few days it was all you could think about. His lips are so warm, his hands even warmer where they wander on your skin. You want him close, closer. Inside.

You break the kiss. “Taehyun,” you murmur against his lips. “Taehyun, please.”

Thankfully, Taehyun seems to understand what you’re getting at, and doesn’t make you beg for it—he’s shimmied out of his sweats and hoodie in record time, with only boxers and a wife beater left. He smiles down at you, gentle, loving. “Could you undress for me?”

You don’t need to be asked twice. You pull your dolphin shorts down and kick them off your ankles, trying your best to peel off your shirt as you do so. Taehyun is fully shirtless now, shadows cast across his toned muscles, and his hands probe at his boxers, but his eyes are fixed on you.

You have never felt so exposed wearing your favorite set of lingerie—you fight the urge to cover your stomach with your arms and instead opt to look up at Taehyun from under your lashes and hope he’s as horny as you are right now.

It takes a moment for Taehyun to recollect himself, but when he does, his hands are immediately on you, awed at your softness. “Damn,” he breathes.

“How eloquent of you.”

Taehyun laughs, running his hands down your waist. “No, I—” He breathes out another chuckle, his eyes trailing down to your belly. “No, you’re just perfect.”

Your cheeks heat and you feel yourself throb a little at his praise. “Says you. Know how many guys would kill to have your body?”

“Know how many guys would kill to have such a beautiful, sexy, smart girl like you?”

You press your lips together. You can’t help but think about how nice he looks, seated between your legs. “A lot of guys would be after you, it seems.”

“Can’t blame them. Fuck, your thighs,” Taehyun groans, moving his hands over them. Your breath catches in your throat. His hands look—are—huge. “Oh my fucking god. Promise me you’ll let me eat you out.”

You blink. “Of course,” you say. “Could you get to fucking me already?”

Taehyun laughs. “Right, sorry. Let me take my boxers off first.”

“Do you have a condom?”

“Yeah, it should be in the hoodie pocket.”

You retrieve the hoodie from the other side of the bed and feel around in its pocket before your fingers graze the plastic; you immediately pick it up and throw the hoodie on the floor. Meanwhile, Taehyun is finally fully naked and stroking himself; you turn even redder. Fuck, you want him so bad.

You tell him so. “Hurry, hurry, please,” you gasp, tossing the unopened condom packet to Taehyun, who chuckles.

“On your hands and knees, angel.”

You obey and whimper impatiently as Taehyun opens the condom and puts it on.

“Jesus, baby, you’re such a mess already and I haven’t even put it in,” Taehyun mumbles. You feel the bed dip where he climbs onto it again, and moans when he gives your ass a smack. “Needy. That’s what you are. Needy and impatient.”

You whimper. “Please, pleasepleaseplease, just put it in, put it in—” Taehyun pushes the small of your back so you drop face-first onto the mattress, cheek squished against the blankets. It smells like him. Everything smells like him. For once you fall silent when he announces he’s sliding in and you feels it poking at your entrance. Your eyes squeeze shut.

He slides in the first inch and you can’t help but whine. “Pleeeease, Taehyun,” you gasp, your voice high and reedy. He complies without an answer, sliding in more, slowly, until he’s almost halfway. You let out a squeak.

“What’s wrong?” Taehyun coos. “Don’t think you can take it?”

You make a small, pathetic noise at the back of your throat. “Nonono,” you cry. “You’re just… really big. Bigger than that—that dumb f-fucking dildo.”

“Aw, am I r-r-really?” Taehyun grins and eases another inch into you before you get the chance to retort. You suck in a breath instead, bunching the sheets into your hands. In a moment of guilt, he uses his other hand to give your waist a reassuring squeeze, then leans over to push back your hair for you. “Damn, you’re tight. You can take it, though, can’t you?”

You whimper. “Ah, shit, yes.”

“That’s it. There you go. Doing such a good fucking job, taking my cock.”

Taehyun kisses your shoulder as he slides in the rest, a string of pathetic whimpers and cries leaving your mouth as he bottoms out. Once his thighs touch the back of yours, he stays very still, letting you adjust to the size.

To both your surprise, you are the one who breaks the almost-silence with a short huff as you prop yourself on your elbows. “You… you can move now,” you grit out, sounding almost pained.

Taehyun hums. “Tell me first. Which do you like better? The toy or my cock?”

You’re silent, but he can see your knuckles whitening as you grip the bedsheets. Taehyun scoffs and grabs both your arms with his hand, pulling them behind you with a grunt. You yelp as his cock hits a different angle inside of you.

“Tell me. Which one is better? I won’t move until you tell me.”

You whimper for a few moments, but Taehyun doesn’t let up. You take a shaky breath and let your head hang. “Y-you,” you mumble.

“Louder, pretty.”

“I like your cock better—hmf—better than the toy,” you say. Taehyun can hear the tears in your voice and his belly flip-flops. So fucking hot.

He might have said that out loud—you might have heard him—but he doesn’t have time to think about the possibilities, because at once he’s drawing his hips away from yours and slamming back inside again. The reaction is immediate. You keen, chest heaving at the intensity.

“Fuck,” you croak, clinging onto the bedsheets.

“God,” Taehyun breathes, holding you up to his chest, “I’m obsessed with you.” He mouths at your neck and you whimper.

“Don’t bite too hard,” you plead. Taehyun bites down harder in response.

“I’ll bite as hard as I want,” he says, but there’s no heat in his words, and he presses a kiss to your shoulder right after. His hands snake up your body, from your hips to your waist until they stop comfortably at your tummy. He thrusts in and out of you at a steady pace, kissing mindlessly at any sliver of skin he can get his lips on. “Been dreaming about this for ages, you know. I’ve been wanting to fill you up for the longest time.”

Fire stirs within the pit of your stomach at the thought. “I do, too. Fingered myself thinking it was your cock,” you mumble back, delirious, and you can feel him smile against your shoulderblades. Suddenly, he slides out, flips you over and enters you once more in a single swift movement. His pace picks up and you exhale slowly, melting into the pleasure, your eyes trained on the array of faces he’s making above you.

“You’re perfect, angel.” Taehyun’s voice drops into a murmur, his bangs falling perfectly around his face. “I’ve always wanted to do this with you, baby. Not only because you’re really hot, but”—he lets out a moan here—“also ’cause I really, really like you, and I don’t wanna fuck the shit out of you for no reason, I—I also wanna take you on dates, and—” He pauses and groans when you squeeze down on him, eyes twisting shut. “Ah, shit, and I wanna fuck you not as a one time thing, but—fuck, but as like, a boyfriend thing—mm—you know?”

You let out a moan, your eyes cracking open incredulously. “You’re telling me this now?” you pant.

Taehyun laughs but goes even faster, his hands still tight around the softness of your waist. You cry out and latch onto his strong arms, wondering if this is happening, if this is real, if Taehyun really just confessed to you in the middle of rearranging your guts. You can’t believe this. Your heart flutters. Your pussy throbs. God, what is wrong with him?

Taehyun’s hand moves up to your jaw. He tilts your chin up and presses your lips together in a slow, slow kiss. “Fuck, baby, you’re gorgeous. Shit,” he says, kissing you again and again. He looks almost desperate, moving inside you, his entire face flushed red. “I love kissing you. Such a pretty girl, my baby, aren’t you? I—oh, fuck, you feel so good, I like you so much.”

“Shit,” you mewl, reaching up to cup his face. He kisses the corner of your mouth, moving almost desperately now, moaning loudly against your skin. “Fuck, Taehyun, you’re crazy—fuck—”

“Tell me how beautiful you are,” Taehyun rasps, not sounding like himself at all, but he moves his hips impossibly faster, and his hand trails down to your neck. “Tell me how pretty you look while your pussy chokes this dick, fuck.”

You wail, your hands flying up to grasp at his wrists. “I’m—’m a puh-pretty girl, fuck, ’m so pretty—”

“That’s right, princess. Are you close? You wanna come?” he rasps, reaching down now to rub your clit. “Go ahead, baby, come on my cock, please, fuck, come on—”

“Taehyun,” you gasp, your breath hitching, as you feel the waves of your oncoming orgasm.

“—cream on it, sweet girl, make me proud, wanna feel you coming for me, ’cause of me—”

You cry out from underneath him and you jolt so suddenly it startles him; your back arches off the bed and your thighs clamp around him and you go very, very still. You come for a long time, breathing and whining throughout it; Taehyun keeps moving, easing you out of it, his hands rubbing and squeezing your waist until finally your muscles relax and you go slack, melting back into the mattress.

“That’s it, pretty, good job,” he murmurs, running feather-light touches up and down your torso. “Good job, princess, what a sweet girl.”

He slides out of you after a minute, and you make a noise; you crane your neck to watch as he peels off the condom. “Did you come?” you ask, your voice awfully quiet. He looks up at you and smiles.

“It’s fine, baby.”

You move to sit up. “No, no—”

“Angel, I’m good.”

“You’re still—”

“Shush.” Taehyun scoots closer to you, settling on his elbows between your legs. “I still want to taste you.”

An hour later, you find yourselves lying in bed together. After making you come another time on his tongue and finally coming after the world’s best handjob, Taehyun had scooped you up and seated you in the bathtub, where you took turns washing each other’s hair and giggling deliriously about what had just happened. You smell overwhelmingly like his shitty male body wash, but you find it hard to care that much when he’s buried his face in the crook of your neck.

Seeing that your friendship was effectively ruined in the best way possible, you find it hard not to giggle a little, wrapped in his arms. Taehyun’s hands, sliding smooth and gentle across your torso, stop abruptly.

“What are you laughing at?” he asks, sounding affronted.

“You. You’re ridiculous.”

“What? I wasn’t even doing anything.”

“Wouldn’t it have been easier to just ask me out on a date? As opposed to offering to fuck me. You came off a little strong with that, you know,” you mumble. “Now that I think about it, it was kind of a dick move.”

“Sorry,” Taehyun grumbles. “I’ve asked you out to dinner multiple times but you kept calling them friend dates so I gave up on that.”

“You were trying to flirt with me? I had no idea.”

“Clearly. That’s why I had to stop trying to make romantic advancements and just settled on asking to fuck you instead. The dildo was the perfect incentive.” His fingers move up to tangle in your hair. “I had—I have, like, the biggest, stupidest crush on you. It’s embarrassing.”

You smile. “Lucky you. I like you, too.”

He breathes out, presses his forehead to your shoulder. “Thank god. I was waiting for you to say it,” he says quietly. “We don’t have to talk about it now, though. Let’s talk about it in the morning.”

“Fine with me. Why were you even looking at my Amazon wishlist, anyway?”

“Well.” Taehyun stills his hands and clears his throat. “I was trying… to pick out… a birthday gift for you.”

“A birthday gift?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh my god.”

“Don’t laugh.”

You start to laugh. “Oh my god,” you say again, in between giggles. “My birthday isn’t for another two months, dumbass.”

“I wanted to be prepared!” Taehyun protests, pinching lightly at your waist. “I told you, I have the biggest fucking crush on you. I was gonna give you a bunch of little gifts. And actually, I was planning to ask you to be my girlfriend. I was so excited, too. Asked the guys for help and everything. Soobin was going to hold up the sign. And Beomgyu was in charge of finding a nice place.”

You snort, twisting around to kiss him. “Sorry for laughing. You’re just an idiot sometimes,” you mumble, and kiss him again. “If it makes you feel better, I would have said yes. And anyway… I kinda knew you liked me. The walls are very thin, you know.”

Taehyun tenses up behind you. “What?” he asks after a beat of silence.

“I hear you jacking off all the time. I’m sorry to break it to you. At least you sound pretty.”

Taehyun groans and presses his nose between your shoulderblades. “Fuck you,” he says, muffled.

You hum. “We’re even.”

tyun: pussy so good i professed my undying love for her

#taehyun hard hours #taehyun x reader smut #taehyun smut #taehyun x reader #txt hard thoughts #txt hard hours #txt x reader #txt smut

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kazmura-archived · 9 months

Text

HELLAVATOR ✶ park sunghoon x fem reader 0.9k warnings, kissing rejection fluff angst if you squint ﹕ series masterlist

decelis installed a new elevator! no more running up fifteen floors to get to your class, though whoever installed this elevator must've been a flake - asking out your crush of 7 months, you get rejected and immediately after you find yourself stuck in a broken elevator with him

9/3/23 Journal Entry

I need to do this today. Yes, today. No other day works.

This might seem as a schoolgirl summoning her courage on an ordinary Friday to confess her feelings. However, anyone holding this view would be utterly mistaken. If there were a law against being cowardly as hell, you can bet I'd be the first one locked up.

Every week I resolve that on Friday, I will confess, only to back out at the last minute, reassuring myself with the excuse 'I'll definitely do it next week.' So I anxiously await every Friday, week after week. But this time is different. Waiting any longer is not an option; I must face rejection to move forward.

It's Park Sunghoon who's causing this. I once regarded him as your typical popular guy, constantly surrounded by friends and always looking good no matter what. But now I know he's more. I tutor him every Friday, and that's when I started liking him. Not Park Sunghoon, the popular pretty-faced boy, but Sunghoon—the boy who struggles with basic math, but tries his best just so I can leave early. Sunghoon, who has a habit of accidentally buying an extra strawberry milk and hesitantly hands it to me. Sunghoon, who prefers chocolate milk over strawberry. He’s not as slick as he thinks.

Nonetheless I have to do this today, so whoever’s stalking my journal, pray for me please!

𓂃

The clock ticked closer to the appointed time for their session. As the minutes passed, anticipation and nervousness swirled within her. She gathered her belongings, her heart pounding with fear. This was the day she had been both dreading and longing for.

Meanwhile, in another part of the school, Sunghoon's thoughts were preoccupied with his upcoming tutoring. He picked up his bag, contemplating the strawberry milk he had bought this morning. The action had become a small tradition between them—something he did half on purpose, half out of habit. He wondered if she would notice his deliberate mistake this time, or if their dynamic would continue as it had been.

As the final bell rang, signaling the end of classes for the day, her heart skipped a beat. With a deep breath, she headed towards their meeting spot - in front of the newly installed elevator. It’s good they finally installed it, running up flights of stairs was never ideal for any of the students. Sunghoon was already there, waiting. His eyes met hers, and a warm smile tugged at the corners of his lips. This was the moment.

Their gazes locked, and she felt butterflies swirling within her. The elevator doors stood slightly open, as if inviting them to step inside and share a moment that could change the course of their relationship.

With a gentle push of her bag against her thigh, she moved forward, approaching Sunghoon. "Hey," she greeted, voice a touch softer than usual.

"Hey," he replied, a shy smile playing on his lips. "Ready for another Friday of challenging math problems?"

She chuckled, a nervous edge to her laughter. "Always up for the challenge." Her eyes flickered towards the elevator doors, the metaphor not lost on either of them.

He caught her glance, and shyness tinted their expressions a delicate shade of pink.

“Okay, I know this is really sudden," she blurted out, her words rushing as if to match the racing beat of her heart. "But I really, really like you, and I have for like, a really long time now. I’ve been meaning to tell you, but I just couldn’t, and I don’t know, but maybe we can go out together? Like a date? But that’s only if you really want to, and—“

“Stop!” he exclaimed, his voice surprisingly loud in the confined space of the elevator.

His sudden outburst caught her off guard, and she fell silent, her heart pounding even faster now, if that were possible. Sunghoon's face had turned a shade of red that rivaled hers, and his gaze was fixed on the ground. His fingers fidgeted with the edge of his shirt, a clear sign of his unease.

"I'm sorry," he began, his words coming out in a rush, "I didn't mean to interrupt you like that. It's just I didn't expect this, and I'm really flattered— I just need a moment to gather my thoughts."

Her heart sank, embarrassment and disappointment washing over her. Had she been too forward? Was he not interested after all? The silence that hung between them in the elevator felt almost suffocating.

"It's fine, really. Let's cancel our tutoring today."

"Wait, but that's not what I meant—"

Arriving at floor 3, the elevator announced.

"I should go," she said, her voice a blend of awkwardness and a desire to escape. She felt an overwhelming urge to run, to hide beneath layers of pillows and blankets, and erase the memory of this moment. To pretend that Park Sunghoon had never even existed.

The elevator didn't open.

As she uttered those words and expected the door to open, it remained stubbornly shut. A brief flicker of confusion crossed her face, her eyebrows furrowing as she pressed the button for the door to open manually.

"Is something wrong?" Sunghoon's voice came from behind her, concern lacing his tone.

She turned to face him, the reality of the situation settling in. "I think the elevator's stuck?"

Sunghoon's eyes widened, and he moved closer to her side, pressing the door open button alongside her. The soft chime of the button echoed through the confined space, but the doors remained firmly closed.

"Seriously?" he muttered, a hint of frustration creeping into his voice.

She felt a nervous laugh bubble up. "It seems so."

The two of them exchanged a look, a mixture of disbelief and amusement in their eyes. The irony of the situation wasn't lost on them — a confession, followed by what seems to be a rejection, and now they were stuck in together.

Sunghoon sighed, pressing the help button and leaning against the wall, his gaze shifting to her.

She moved to lean against the wall opposite him, her cheeks burning with the full weight of embarrassment that the situation had brought. The intensity of the moment had made her feel exposed, fixing her gaze firmly on the floor to escape it.

“Hey,” he started, his voice soft and soothing, though she didn't immediately respond.

Walking a few steps up to her, Sunghoon gently placed his fingers under her chin, coaxing her to look up at him. The touch of his warm fingers against her skin sent a swarm of butterflies dancing through her body – cursing her heart for betraying her so blatantly.

“I bought your favorite,” he said, his voice carrying playfulness and sincerity. He held up the carton of milk, a small gesture that carried immense weight in the moment. “Will you let me finish talking now?”

Her gaze flickered between his eyes and the strawberry milk he was offering, her heart thudding in her chest. She took the carton from him, her fingers brushing against his for a brief, electrifying moment. "Thank you," she mumbled, feeling a mixture of emotions that she struggled to put into words.

Sunghoon leaned against the wall next to her again, the closeness between them feeling both comforting and nerve-wracking. "I wanted to say something earlier," he began, his eyes fixed on her, "before the elevator interrupted us."

She nodded, her heart pounding so loudly she feared he could hear it.

He took a deep breath, his gaze unwavering. "I like you too, yn. I didn't expect this, but I've liked you for a while now. And I'd really like to go on that date with you."

Suddenly, her body felt light as air, as if all the worries had been carried away by a gentle breeze. Her cheeks were still pink, but this time it wasn't from embarrassment. Her heart fluttered, and a genuine smile bloomed on her face.

Lost in the intoxicating moment, she took a few tentative steps closer to him. Her heart raced as her arms found their way around his neck, pulling him gently closer. With a soft, affectionate smile, she pressed her lips against his, igniting a fire within them both. His laughter was a delightful melody, his broad grin revealing his genuine happiness, as he drew her into his arms. Their lips met once more, not just in a kiss, but in a melding of desires and emotions. The world around them seemed to fade as their mouths moved in a rhythm fueled by the intensity of their feelings. Every touch was an exploration, every sigh a confession. In that passionate kiss, they spoke the unspoken, conveying all the longing, affection, and yearning that had been built between them.

As their kiss deepened, they were oblivious to their surroundings, lost in the world they were creating within that confined space. The elevator doors had silently slid open, revealing the hallway beyond. There Sunghoon's friends stood, amused expressions plastered their faces.

"He's cheating on me!" Jake shouted dramatically, his voice echoing through the corridor.

Sunghoon pulled away from the kiss to roll his eyes, still holding her in his embrace. "You're ridiculous."

Reaching over to close the elevator doors once again, effectively shutting his friends out. Their amused faces were left behind as the doors closed, creating a private sanctuary once more. Sunghoon turned back to her with a sheepish grin.

"Let's continue now, shall we?"

💬 kind of really hate this but I wrote it all already so it'd kill me to redo might take it down later, I had fun with it though so I hope it didn't come out too bad - im entering flop era so please pleasee reblog if you enjoy!

taglist open! @kflixnet @cherryunnie @okwons @flwrshee @beomsbeanie @parksunghoonsgf @mrchweeee @en-chantedtomeetyou

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bekaroth-reads · 1 year

Text

Stardew Valley Shane x Reader

[based on the fact that most of the time when he asks why you’re bothering him, his avatar is still smiling.]

Pelican Town was a pretty nice place to live. There weren’t too many other people living here, and your farm was far enough from the actual town that you didn’t get to see the other residents too often. But, you did still see them enough that you were friendly with all of them and actually starting to be friends with some of them. Everyone here seemed to be naturally friendly, even if they were on the more quiet side personality-wise.

And, then there was Shane.

He always looked like he was about to keel over any minute, and half of the time that keeling looked to be by choice. Not that you could really blame him seeing as he was working at the Joja Mart. You had worked for that company long enough yourself to know how much of the life it can suck out of someone. Not to mention he was dealing with a retail job, which was difficult to stomach even if it was somewhere other than Joja. Not that there were too many other people outside of Pelican that went there and would treat him poorly. Shane did have the advantage of living in a smaller town so that even if someone had a problem with him, it would be less likely for it to be blown to a large proportion as that would cause a ripple through the whole population; not to mention that everyone respected Marnie too much to ever do something to cause her grief. No, what most people felt about Shane was pity. They all gave him space though and he seemed to like that.

Regardless, you were always sure to at least wave at Shane when you saw him. For the first month or so you would simply wave or maybe give a, “Good morning,” as when you usually saw him as you were passing each other in the town square on mornings you had to stop at Pierre’s. This was usually met with complete silence or an annoyed grunt. It didn’t bother you too much. You weren’t much of a morning person yourself and understood not wanting to have a full conversation that early in the day. Things changed a little bit once the two of you were properly introduced; perhaps not properly, but there was an introduction. You were over checking prices on things with Marnie as you wanted to be sure you could afford everything you needed if you bought some chickens when Shane came walking in from the other room. “Oh, this is my nephew Shane. I’m sure the two of you have seen each other before.” She offered when he didn’t say anything to you. “Oh, we’ve met before.” You offered as an explication to ease the scolding tone that she was giving Shane. “I don’t know you,” was all that Shane said before walking out the door before Marnie could say anything about it.

After that, you would be a bit more forward about talking to him. Nothing too much past what you were already doing, but instead of just, “Good morning,” you would ask, “How are you?” Or, you would even do something as simple as addressing him by name. Shane in turn, evolved from ignoring or grunting at you to talking back. Of course, it was things like, “Why are you talking to me,” or, “I’m busy.” It was still talking though, and when you talked to Marnie about it to make sure you weren’t making him uncomfortable, she first apologized for how curt he was being, but then seemed floored that he even said that much to you. She said the most he ever talked to anyone that wasn’t her or Jas was when he ordered a drink at the pub or when he was forced to give one to two-word answers at work. There was still a feeling that he was a bit out of his comfort zone, but Marnie assured you if there was a real problem you would know about it; that or she would, and seeing as she didn’t want her nephew to be any more unhappy than he already was she would tell you herself.

Things were really changed last night. It was Friday night, and you decided to go to the pub. It would be nice to just relax for an evening and since that was the night that most of everyone else went to the pub as well it would be nice to catch up with some people you hadn’t seen in a while. When you got there, the usual crowd was there as well, some of them waving as you walked in the door. You ended up spending most of the night talking with Leah with Emily popping in from time to time when she wasn’t helping Gus. You noticed Shane standing in a corner by himself. It seemed that Leah saw you glance in that direction, and commented, “Poor guy. Everyone hates to see him feel so down and out all the time. But, there’s not much anyone can do to help him. He’ll choose beer over help anytime.” There was a bit of derision in her voice, but nothing too uncalled for as it did look like he was at least partially doing this to himself. Before the conversation could continue Emily stopped by on her break and started talking about something completely different.

As the night went on more and more people made their way home. Eventually, there was only a fraction of the people left in the bar. This led to you sitting at the bar. And, only a chair away from Shane. The positioning wasn’t planned, simply from you both taking what seats were available at the time and not moving when others opened up. You were drinking your last drink for the night while Shane was halfway through his third tankard of beer. Not that it should have been impressive, but you found it morbidly amazing that he could have had that much and still be as relatively sober as he was; Gus’s tankards were by no means small. You looked at him from the corner of your eye as you took another drink. “Hey,” you greeted and you saw his tense shoulders slump, seeming deflating because you were bothering him. But, with a few drinks in him, Shane found his tongue loosened more than usual.

“Why do you talk to me?” He asked.

“Why wouldn’t I?” You respond.

This made Shane stop and think for a minute. “It…” he huffed and mumbled so quietly that you almost missed it, “People just don’t.” There was another pause of neither of you talking. Finally, Shane broke the silence again. “Look, if you really want to impress me then buy me another drink.” It surprised everyone, who neither of you noticed were at least glancing at you both frequently because of how odd it was to see Shane out of his corner and talking to someone. It surprised Shane as well when you looked up from your drink and called, “Hey, Gus.” He came walking over, pretending to not have just been talking about the two of you with Emily. You nodded toward Shane and requested, “Get this man a water, if you don’t mind.” Gus did his best to hide a laugh, relieved that he didn’t have to explain to you that he had already cut Shane off for the night. Shane’s face scrunched up moments before he hid it under his hood, and hissed, “Are you serious?”

“Hey, you said a drink. Never said which one.” You chuckle as you catch the glass Gus slid at you. “Besides, you could use it before you walk home.” You gave his shoulder a few pats before standing up to leave. Even though most of his face was covered, you could see the slight twitch of a starting smile threaten to make its way onto his face. You paid Gus and said goodbye to Shane. Everyone sat there like they were witnessing an impossibility when he waved back.

This morning while you were waiting for Pierre’s to open for the day, you saw a certain Joja Mart employee making his way to work. “Good morning, Shane. How are you?” You greeted as he walked by you. He paused a moment like he was thinking about saying something else but eventually grumbled out, “Busy. Why are you talking to me…” as he kept walking past. However, you noticed that little smile start to invade his dower face once again. Maybe Shane didn’t mind you talking to him as much as he acted like he did.

#stardew valley shane x reader #sdv shane x reader #reader x stardew valley shane #reader x sdv shane

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dailydivergent · 21 days

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can you elaborate some more on breaks? what is a break? like how long is it, and how many do you take in a day? im curious what your typical day plan looks like, where would the “break” blocks go and for how long, vs “work” blocks. im into daily planning but i always fail to account for taking mindful breaks

Amazing question—and the answer, of course, is different for everyone.

But I'll try to answer as efficiently as possible.

A break is any moment you take to recollect your thoughts, energy, or focus.

Yes, it's nice to have intentional breaks built into your schedule, but if you're neurodivergent, then it's most likely going to have to be intuitive.

Intuitive meaning depending on how you're feeling in the moment.

It's practically impossible to know if something is going to tire you out after 30 minutes or an hour on this upcoming Friday, you know? We just don't have that kind of foresight.

So, really, building in breaks into your schedule means not packing your day with a bunch of things do to.

For me, it usually means only timeblocking half the day with stuff to do, so that I can be sure everything will get done.

Personally, I don't include chores into my time blocks, but you can if you want to.

Personally, I do include my morning routine and nightly routine into my calendar, but not each individual task. It just gets one timeblock called "morning/nightly routine" with the task list as the description.

Throughout my day, I take breaks every 45 minutes or so—even if it's just to stop looking at the computer screen and think for a second.

Usually, though, I recommend getting up (if you can), drinking some water, and maybe doing a quick stretch/head roll/stim to release some excess energy.

It's all about knowing when you're hitting a wall.

That's when to take a break.

When you decide to come back is based on:

Your mental health in the moment (do not push yourself if you're about to breakdown, no matter how important the thing is)

How much time you have in the day/hour (think timed items like tests or a work deadline)

What needs to be done today vs. what can wait (most things can wait, actually)

Which are all individual skills in and of themselves.

Taking breaks in a world that doesn't support neurodivergent minds is a complex problem, because there are multiple layers to sort through.

Give yourself the time (years), space (hour-by-hour), and grace (all the time) to figure it out.

Remember: Learning how to live takes a lifetime.

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lavendertales · 1 year

Text

Sweet lies: Chapter 5

pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader

summary: the Millers invite everyone over at their place for Valentine’s day, and things have never felt lonelier for you. But the end of the night has a surprise twist for you.

word count: 5k

A/N: now we’re getting into the juicy part. huge thanks to @cheshire-noir for helping me with a good part of this!

Comments & reblogs are forever appreciated 💕

gif: @pascalsky

series masterlist | AO3

As much as you tried to remain the professional and hardworking person you have always been, that Friday had your mind spinning relentlessly.

Last night’s dinner was still fresh on your mind, taunting you alongside Frankie and Andrea. Worst part was that you actually liked Andrea. It was virtually impossible to nest any negative feelings towards someone so incredible.

But then you recalled Frankie’s hesitant side glares, his Adam’s apple bobbing with each nervous gulp he took, the sheer regretful expression on his face whenever the two of you locked eyes, and you wondered if somehow, maybe, he wasn’t so confident in his relationship.

It couldn’t have been. It was just your jealousy talking deep in your subconscious, giving you false hope. You’ve been down that road before, being fed up lies by your own mind and tricked by your heart. You did not need that again, and certainly not when Frankie was engaged.

You had to be on your best behavior. The two of you were no longer friends, but merely old acquaintances, so you shouldn’t have had an issue with giving him the cold shoulder. The farther he was from you, the better. Even if you had foolishly agreed to go to the Valentine’s Day bash that Will and Benny were throwing, that didn’t mean you could act reckless.

So you came up with a plan.

“Good news, your girl finished her presentation early, which means I am available for some weekend fun,” Rose’s confident voice giggles over the phone.

It’s a little over eleven p.m., and you’re already half asleep in your bed, but as luck would have it, Rose’s timing is impeccable.

“Congratulations,” you say, genuinely impressed by her work ethic. “At least one of us was professional today.”

“Uh-oh. I take it dinner was awkward last night?”

“Frankie came with his fiancé.”

Silence. You can hear Rose’s jaw drop and her steady breaths. If you listen closely enough, you can hear her processing what you just told her.

“They both came?” she asks.

“Yeah. It was dinner with friends and their significant others, of course he would’ve brought his fiancé. It was stupid of me to think he wouldn’t.”

“Still, I can’t imagine it was pleasant to just have her in your face like that.”

“She’s actually pretty awesome.”

“What?!”

Rose’s indignation actually steals a chuckle out of you, for which you are thankful.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” she continues.

You scoff. “I’m serious! She’s an incredible, accomplished woman.”

“I don’t care, that is the enemy!”

“She’s really not. If anything, Frankie is. He’s the one who fucked it all up.”

“Fair point. What’s so incredible about this woman, anyway?”

“Well, her name’s Andrea and she’s a dermatologist, she regularly volunteers for different charities, she’s hilarious and sweet… oh, and she’s unfairly gorgeous.”

“How gorgeous are we talking here?”

“Green eyes, light brown hair with cute bangs, caramel skin… and she smells great.”

“Shit, that does sound great.”

“So you see my problem.”

“I do. But I can hate her.”

“What—Rose, you don’t even know her.”

“When has that ever stopped us? We’ve hated people for no reason before.”

“Yes, but those were celebrities. And it was usually because they either had something we don’t have, or because we just didn’t like them.”

“Hello! How is this any different?”

You chuckle again, your chest growing heavier with concern regarding tomorrow’s plans.

“Hey, listen, since you’re free this weekend,” you start, “how do you feel about spending Valentine’s Day with me tomorrow?”

“Uh… okay, I really appreciate the sentiment, but I’m not sure what kind of message did I send to you before.”

You both laugh. “Will and Ben are throwing this little Valentine’s get-together between friends—and their girlfriends too, I guess—and I could really use a friendly shoulder there.”

“Hmm. So everyone’s gonna be happily nuzzling next to their significant others?”

“All, except me and Frankie. Andrea can’t come apparently.”

“Gotta say, I’m a little relieved, I thought I was going to have to show some PDA in order to be able to stay.”

You laugh some more, eagerly anticipating her response.

“Won’t it be awkward?” Rose asks.

“Possibly. Every interaction I’ve had so far has been more or less so. Please, you gotta come with me.”

“I will, I will. Just gotta stop by at my grandma’s first to check in on her.”

“How is she doing after the hip replacement surgery?”

“Pretty good. More mobile each day.”

“Oh, that’s great!”

“Yeah. But after that, I’m totally gonna be there for you.”

“Good. Cause I’m your best friend, and you have to help a friend in need.”

“True.”

“Also, Santi will be there.”

You can tell that has Rose’s attention. Hell, even you smile. You’ve been hoping for a long time that she and Santiago would act upon their feelings, but clearly they both had been shy to initiate.

“I was gonna come anyway, just to clarify,” Rose pushes, to which you smirk.

“Mhm.”

“This is just… an added bonus.”

“Of course it is. I’ll see you tomorrow then, at the Millers?”

“You got it. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight. Oh, and thank you, Rose. I love you.”

“You don’t have a thing to thank me for. I love you too.”

Knowing that Rose will be there makes it easier for you to fall asleep, and to navigate through next day’s tasks. You wake up pretty early in order to go your grocery shopping, your cleaning and your cooking, and when the clock strikes five p.m., you are in your bathroom, showering and putting a little makeup on.

It’s not a party, you keep reminding yourself of Will’s words. So you don’t overdress, and you don’t overdo it with makeup. Just something cute and casual for a night out with your friends.

And their girlfriends. And, with Rose there, probably making heart eyes at Santiago, that means it’ll be just you and Frankie.

Okay, so maybe your plan wasn’t so well thought. Maybe you could back out of going. Who would really care, on Valentine’s, no less?

Oh, but they would. You knew the guys, you knew your friends, and you knew how relentless they could be about group hangouts and such. You knew they would bother you consistently, bombard you with questions about why you were a no-show at the very last moment.

Honestly, the idea of free drinks kept you motivated enough. In the event of Rose disappearing somewhere to snuggle with Santi, you’d have your trusted companions, the beers.

But you refuse to show up empty handed, so you carry with you a big plate of sandwiches and a bottle of wine. You put in the location on the GPS and drive through the snowed streets.

You’ve been to Will’s and Benny’s plenty of times, but you felt safer having the address right there in front of you, especially on an icy evening like that. Even on a tender day such as Valentine’s Day, February knows how to remind you of its cold, cold wrath.

Standing on the doorstep of the Millers’ humble bungalow merely twenty minutes later, your warmest clothes prove nothing on that bitter evening. You rang the doorbell once and are now anxiously waiting for either Will or Benny to let you in.

Soon, waiting becomes a daunting task. But not only because of the bitter wind chills.

Will and Benny are hosting this party—scratch that. A get-together. Friendly faces, and yet all of them seem to belong to mere ghosts of your past. For them, Valentine’s Day didn’t need the frills and ties, but rather friends and stiff drinks. Plus, they had their wonderful girlfriends by their side, so even the most mundane tasks could be deemed as romantic and well-thought. Will reassured you it would be a smaller gathering, just the lonely ones and the dorks who actually managed to score someone. Still, the sight of the cramped cars in the driveway spiked your anxiety when the GPS told you “arrived at your destination”. But you prevailed, and marched to the front door nonetheless. You had made a promise, after all.

Hurry up, guys, your mind begs, huffing into your hands to keep you warm. Finally, you see a familiar face grinning from the door window. Not Will, rather Benny. Your eyes soften, eagerly pushing your way in, even as Benny already starts fussing over how long you waited.

“It’s fine,” you tell him sincerely.

“I shouted at Will to open the door a dozen times,” he seemingly apologizes. “I had the glasses in my hand, but no, I gotta do all the work. So much for big bro duties. Here, let me take that.”

You chuckle as Benny takes the plate and bottle of wine from your hand, and you take a look around. You were swathed in warmth as soon as you crossed the threshold into the home. Something about being inside made you relax much more. It could be the coziness of the two-story living, where every room in the house bled into each other. Or it could be that the furniture choices were plump and rosy leather adorned in animal themed blankets, tapestries and cushions. In the living room, MTV is playing on the television, the soft drones of Robert Smith from The Cure filling you with the melancholy you had come to associate with the holiday.

From the couch, Will greets you, inviting you to sit as you hand your jacket off to Benny. Will and Mia are sitting over at one of the two olive couches that surround the fireplace. Benny has no problem plopping himself next to his brother and his girlfriend, the latter having his own significant other join in, but you decide to pick the couch across from them, the one closest to the kitchen. Not just because it might be useful should you require more drinks, but also because you think five’s a crowd, and couples need their intimacy.

The light in the kitchen is on and you can see two shadows bouncing across the walls. They are talking about something, but you can’t pick up on any of it, not when you have Will and Mia’s conversation ringing in the other ear. Although, you still can’t help but stare at the shapes.

One looks stocky, and seems to be the one making the most noise out of them. But the other. The other has a cap on, larger arms, a deeper voice, dripping with age like a fine wine. He and Benny are the youngest among the boys, but his voice is coarse and thick with plenty of emotions that still have a grip over you.

You shake your head briefly, forcing yourself to smile and even giggle at the excited voices in front of you. It’s a favorable situation rather than staring at Frankie the whole time, which you swore you wouldn’t do, no matter what.

You fleetingly check your watch, wondering when Rose will get there. You grow to hate this feeling of helplessness when it comes to being around Frankie. It’s not that you are not strong, quite the opposite: you are more than capable of being cold and distant, but gazing over at him, looking and longing at the same time? A whole other story.

You’re not quite sure what it is about Frankie that still has you in a chokehold. Actually, you do know, you just like denying it, especially now given the circumstances. In every way, Frankie is the embodiment of your dream partner. He’s kind, funny, sweet, smart, protective, and just overall a warm person that once made you feel like you were truly yourself, and not just playing a game.

After all this time, your feelings for him have not vanished as you had hoped. You foolishly thought distance would help you forget, but now that you have been thrust back into your old life, you see things are no different than when you left.

At least in that regard.

Looking at Will and Benny happily sharing with you stories of their adventures with the girls, you sport a sincere smile. You have never seen them so fulfilled, so blissful, and it makes your heart tremble with joy. Yet there is a permanent ache in your heart that you cannot deny, one you doubt anyone would fully understand.

“Hey, you’re here!” Santiago says, pulling you in to hug you tight.

You reciprocate, eyes landing on Frankie’s figure in the background. He seems apologetic, averting your gaze as much as he can, as if he’s guilty of something. Deep down, you do understand his reaction and, oddly enough, you are thankful that he’s not pushing the note in any way.

“I heard Emily made heart shaped cookies, and you know I’m a sucker for cookies,” you joke.

“You have to try them, they are out of this world,” Mia fortifies.

You all chuckle, and you do in fact stretch your arm towards the coffee table in the middle to grab one of the cookies on the plate and take a bite out of it, instantly melting.

“Oh my God,” you nearly shout, immediately taking another bite. “These are heavenly!”

“Thank you!” Emily smiles, her cheeks now flushed. “I don’t make them that often though.”

“I can see why! It’s tough to stay away from them, shit.”

You finish the cookie and grab another one, causing everyone to giggle.

“It’s also why I told her to never, under any circumstances, share the recipe,” Benny adds. “This is cause for fight.”

“It sure is,” Will says.

You don’t realize you’re still in Santiago’s arms; when you do realize that, you inch away in the slightest, right under Frankie’s studious eyes. Curiosity has him by the throat, yet he can’t bring himself to ask you or Santiago any questions. He’s not sure he wants to know.

“Hi,” you finally greet Frankie, voice small and anxious.

“Hi,” he replies.

You’re tired of this; you are so tired of walking around on eggshells, measuring your words and actions and trying to stay away while also wanting to be part of the group again. It’s absolutely exhausting.

“You want something to drink?” Santiago offers, and you nod.

Frankie’s eyes don’t leave the two of you, silently studying you from the corner of his eye. He watches you go into the kitchen, exchange some words as Santiago opens up a beer bottle and hands it to you, and then he sees you lightly touching his arm.

He doesn’t want to know. He doesn’t want to know. It’s none of his business. He has no right asking or even caring anymore.

Then why does his chest ache so? Why does it feel like there’s a beast trapped inside of him that roars and scratches violently at the simplest of sights?

He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care.

“Okay, so,” Will announces, standing up now that you and Santiago return to the living room. “Now that we are all here.”

“Actually, Rose should be here any minute,” Santiago intervene.

“Oh. That’s okay, we can wait then.”

“What’s going on, guys?” you ask.

Will and Benny exchange a glare, as well as Mia and Emily, and you instantly know both couples have news. The options are limited, although you can pretty much figure out what’s going on before it’s even said.

And before you know it, you’re halfway through the beer bottle, wishing you had called a cab instead of driving to the bungalow.

“Well, uh… Mia and I are engaged,” Will says, reaching to grab his now fiancé’s hand.

It’s then that you notice the ring on Mia’s finger, shining as brightly as her eyes when she looks at Will. Laudatory exclaims burst among you all, and you’re quick to finish your beer before hugging Mia and then Will. Your heart swells and trembles with even more happiness, admiring them as Santiago and Frankie congratulate their friend.

“Benny has some news too,” Will chuckles.

All eyes turn to Benny, who instead looks over at Emily. Her cheeks burn auburn still, indicating nervousness and flattery.

“We’re moving in together,” she says.

More congratulations are being shared, the entire group hugging the other happy couple. You don’t think you could be any happier than you are at this very moment.

Or lonelier.

What a fascinating mixture, that of delight for your friends and loneliness for yourself. Contradictory, opposing poles, yet equally true.

You don’t let it show, though. Tonight it’s cause for celebration, and you are too focused on your friends’ fulfilled lives to allow any negative emotion impact it.

Although you can’t help but think that your steps are guided by some sort of negative emotion when you find yourself into the kitchen, grabbing another beer to toast to your friends.

“To Will and Benny, finally committed and off of our hands,” Santiago toasts, and you all laugh. “Girls, best of luck.”

“Here, here!”

You feel your phone buzzing in your pocket, and you swiftly notice a text from Rose: “Be there soon, max one hour. Sorry for the delay!” You don’t know why, but your stomach drops. Rose will be there soon, why do you feel so disarmed and hopeless? It doesn’t make much sense, and you don’t try to dig deeper. Not tonight.

You’re feeling a bit of a mess, so the best you can do is smile and nod along, drinking cheerfully along your very joyful and gratified friends. You look at them all, admiring and holding out hope for all of them, so much so that you forget about yourself momentarily. Just for one moment, you forget about the confusing mixture of feelings and how it fucks you up in this very moment.

So Will is engaged, Benny’s getting his own place with his girlfriend, and Frankie is engaged. That leaves you and Santiago as the lonely bachelors in the group.

Except Santiago’s smitten with Rose, and vice versa, and you have a feeling those two will end up together. Which means, when that’ll inevitably happen, it will be just you. Stuck in the same cycle, no matter how hard you have tried to run away from it or tell yourself you changed.

Definitely should’ve taken a cab. Tonight requires a whole lot more drinking.

Music starts blasting in the speakers, with the two happy couples and Frankie settling for an excited talk regarding the upcoming nuptials and move-in. You settle in the kitchen, taking a seat and sipping from your beer while your eyes remain on the five people on the couch. There is an odd sense of melancholy washing over you, like you are an intruder in all of those people’s lives, and that they’d be much happier without you. Like their lives would also be easier without you.

“Hey,” Santiago’s voice brings you back to earth. “You okay?”

He takes the seat next to you, nudging you with his shoulder. “Yeah,” you reply flatly, voice a little shaky, too. “So many good news tonight already, it’s… a lot.”

“I’m pretty surprised myself. More by Benny, not Will. Will’s got this commitment thing covered. Benny, on the other hand…”

You chuckle, staring at the bottom of the beer that’s dangerously close now. “But look at him now. A grown man, our Benny.”

“They’re all moving on, building their lives.”

“Yep.”

“Guess it’s just you and me now. The last two bachelors of the group.”

You purse your lips together, staring at him in a haze. “Maybe you and I should’ve given this a proper go.”

Santiago smirks, eyeing you up and down.

“Is that so?” he smiles.

“We might’ve actually had a real shot a while back.”

“At the very least we could’ve followed through with that little moment in the car.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“One complete and good memory from back then.”

You nod, reminiscing of the time when you returned to town for a few weeks, a couple of years back, and decided to try something new. You thought it was the right thing to do, but the short-lived romance proved otherwise for you both.

“Or we might’ve screwed things up completely,” you say.

“Or that.”

“I mean, look at me and Frankie. One wrong move and it’s all fucked up.”

You sigh deeply, your head now resting in the crook of Santiago’s neck. He smells of cologne and forest, fresh and… uncomplicated. His arm wraps around you, pulling you in closer.

All under Frankie’s eyes.

He can’t stop staring at the two of you, so close and intimate in the kitchen, and his mind starts to wonder, to fabricate little scenarios that make the room spin around him. It all comes crashing down on him when he starts to acknowledge the fact that you and Santiago make perfect sense.

“You good there, Fish?” Benny asks, hand on his shoulder.

“Hm?”

He’s blatantly staring and he didn’t even realize it till then. Now, his gaze returns upon those in the living room.

“You good?” Benny repeats the question.

“I’m good, yeah,” he replies.

“Cause… you were staring.”

“I was just… curious.”

Mia and Emily look over to the kitchen as well, then back at Frankie. “Oh, those two?” Mia chuckles. “Yeah, we’re curious, too.”

Frankie, instead, frowns.

“They’ve gotten very close in the past few years,” Will admits. “Not sure to what extent, but they sure are close.”

“I for one think that if there is something going on, we should give them some space,” Emily says. “Friends dating… it can be tricky to navigate. Let’s leave them alone in the meantime.”

Frankie gulps, finishing his beer, eager for another one. He stands up, heads to the kitchen, where he locks eyes with you and Santiago. The two of you separate, staring at him, but Frankie doesn’t say a word. He just reaches in the fridge for another beer, opens it and walks away, right outside into the cold.

He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care. He definitely shouldn’t care.

“What’s with him?” you ask.

“I have no idea. Maybe it’s the stress of planning a wedding.”

“Right.”

The doorbell is heard, turning towards Santiago with a smile. “That’s Rose.”

You see him take a deep breath, his mind clearly racing just as much as his heart, and you know he’s overthinking the moment. You have the same look on your face when you do it.

“Go,” you nearly push him off the chair. “Why are you still here?”

“I’m going, okay? I don’t wanna seem too eager.”

“You’re reeking of neediness already. Go.”

When you’re alone in the kitchen, you have the nerve to finish the beer, then raiding for another one. You’re probably going to regret this, but you need something to take the edge off.

You spy into the living room, noticing Santiago and Rose emerged into a conversation filled with shy smiles and flushed cheeks, and you smile. God, I hope this works between them. They’re too good for each other to not make this work.

But life sometimes has a funny and cruel way of pulling two perfect people apart from each other. You’ve experienced it firsthand, and you’d hate seeing this happen to two of the dearest people in your life.

You keep hearing music, and after a while, those in the living room start dancing with each other and you take that as your cue to leave. You feel like an extra there, just looking at the happy couples giggling and talking to each other.

Before you know it, you find yourself outside, slowly inhaling the cold air. You’re a bit tipsy, so this is just what you need to remain grounded in the present. A present where you’re basically left behind, alone, just you and the professional ladder you are desperately trying to climb in order to feel like you are achieving something.

By all means, you are happy. You have a great new job, great life, health… everything is good. So there is no reason for you to be feeling like this, is there?

“It’s freezing, you should get back inside,” a voice shouts.

You come to realize that it’s Frankie. He’s on the porch, few inches away, barely staring at you.

“Could tell you the same thing,” you say.

“I happen to be okay with the cold. I know you hate it.”

You tsk, hating how much he still knows about you. You stare into the far off distance, beer in hand. Luckily the alcohol keeps you a little warm, so you don’t really care about the freezing temperatures right now.

“Needed some air,” you say.

“Aka a break from all the happy inside.”

“I didn’t say—“

“You didn’t have to.”

“Would you just—knock it off?”

It is now that you turn to meet his gaze, fury radiating from your eyes. He can feel it, too; you see it in his body language, the way he’s trying to make himself seem smaller next to you. But he doesn’t avert his eyes. Instead, he seems to be staring right at you, with a certain darkness in his eyes that you fail to recognize.

“Look, I’m tired of this, Frankie,” you surrender. “I am sick and tired of trying my hardest to be distant and keep you at bay… and I’m sorry I’m acting like a bitch. I am not, I’m really not.”

“I know you’re not. You got every right to act this way, though.”

You chuckle. “Well, at least you understand what the situation is.”

“Of course I do. I’m not an idiot, okay? I know this is… fucked up and hurtful and messy… but I miss you.”

The moment he says that, your heart begins to race like crazy.

“As a—friend,” he clarifies, gulping.

“I want us to function normally too, like we used to, but I don’t know if it’s possible, Frankie. I gotta respect you and Andrea’s relationship, and… a single woman is not to be around a committed guy.”

Frankie scoffs, finishing his beer and putting the empty bottle on the porch, half in snow. “Single? Really?”

“Yes, really. Why?”

He falters, trips over his own thoughts, and he keeps quiet. It’s his best play at this very moment.

“I missed you too,” you confess shyly, in an almost non-existent voice.

But he hears it. He hears and sees you crystal clear, burning and aching with his whole body. He should not be feeling this way. He should not be surprised that you’d be interested in Santiago. He should not be upset by it, nor should he be feeling this way around you. It’s not okay. It’s not normal to burn this much for someone.

And yet here he is, secretly doing it anyway, and shoving it deep down with every ounce of strength imaginable.

You sneak a peek through the window, noticing Rose still talking to Santiago, seemingly laughing out loud, and your heart quickly swells and then deflates. When you finish your beer, you find Frankie to stand much closer to you, cutting out the air from your lungs. You barely feel the cold anymore, even if your fingers turn purple and your face is red with something you can’t quite discern.

“I’m really sorry that I let you go,” he mutters. “I was a dick. Pope reminds me once or twice a year.”

You actually chuckle. “Good.”

“He’s a great friend.”

“That he is.”

“And you guys seem to be very close. Kind of like…”

“We used to be?”

He nods. When your eyes meet and neither shies away, it’s electric. It’s a rush, a moment filled with unspoken emotion. You want to look away, you know this should not be happening, and yet you can’t look away. It’s years of deprivation, missing him and missing the two of you, but you just don’t want to look away from him.

You just want to look at him, admire him for the man that he’s turned into. Nothing more.

“I missed you,” he repeats, his voice almost like he’s begging. “So much.”

You don’t reply. You can’t really focus; your mind is foggy, clouded by all sorts of emotions tonight, and you know you should back off, act with respect. Because, at the end of the day, you do respect Frankie and his relationship with Andrea, and you respect Andrea just as much.

Every cell in your body screams at you to just back off, go back inside to your friends and celebrate alongside them. You swear you moved your feet in the desired direction. You start to feel warm again, warm all over, particularly your face.

Seconds later, you realize that is because there is warm breath all over your face, and your lips become swollen, reddened with a foreign, yet familiar and much needed touch.

Another few seconds later and you realize that Frankie’s lips are on yours, and his hand cups your cheek, pulling you in.

The worst of it is, you kiss him back. You kiss him back till you’re running out of air and Frankie’s breath is the sole source of air that you have. You kiss him back till you become fully aware of the implications, and then, before you can pull away, Frankie does it first.

He pulls away from you, his lips just as swollen and red as yours, and he stares at you in shock. Truthfully, you’re just as shocked, unable to utter a single word.

“I’m so sorry,” he coos, looking around in disbelief. “I am… so sorry. I shouldn’t have… I should go.”

You still don’t say anything. You simply stare at him, incapable to remove the feeling of his soft lips pressed hastily on yours.

He’s slowly backing away from you, eyes locked with yours, as he keeps muttering “I should go”. So he goes, leaving you half frozen on the porch, with a taste on your lips that nothing would ever wash away.

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annasinterests · 9 months

Text

don't look at me like that unless you mean it

smiling, having fun ♫ feeling like a number one

|| series masterlist || main masterlist ||

a/n: god dayum this took me so long to put out and i sincerely apologize friends!!! my family's been in town and i've been planning trips with my bf for the next couple of weeks so i've just been sooo busy. to make up for it, enjoy the longest chapter i've written yet :)) i legit had so much fun writing it but i also fussed w/ it a ton because i wanted to get it just how i envisioned it. nuff' ramblin' from me, love y'all, enjoy !

word count: 9.8k (i had over 10k written b4 editing but still omfg!)

pairings: joel miller x f!reader

warnings & tags: minors dni, cursing, joel/reader/tommy being cute, tommy being an instigator lowkey, mutual pining, joel and reader going on a lil 'date', sexual themes, mentions of alcohol/being drunk, honestly kinda self-indulgent esp on the music parts, angst RAAAAAAAAH — please tell me if i missed anything!

Friday. Thank God.

As the morning light painted the sky in soft hues, you opted to savor your coffee on the front porch with your feet kicked up on the deck railing, basking in the quiet before the day's festivities consumed the town.

The early hour granted you respite from the scorching sun, sparing you the discomfort of the sweltering heat that would undoubtedly arrive later. Dressed in a small tank top and shorts, you relished the cool breeze that gently brushed against your skin. Tilting your head back, you closed your eyes, allowing the sounds of chirping birds to serenade you and the warm rays envelop you in a soothing embrace.

You thought back to last night with Ellie, how much fun you had with her even though you passed out before the movie was even over. It was the perfect start to your two days of rest, and it prompted you to commit a rare act of self-care by pushing off your new workload until the new week started.

You always did something on your days off for Jackson, whether it was doing a few favors for neighbors or finding yourself in Maria’s office all day. Nothing ever to give yourself the time you deserved.

And maybe it was selfish– irresponsible, even– but you needed a real break, and when would you get that if not today? Tonight promised laughter, music, and camaraderie. All your problems and issues would still be there tomorrow anyway.

"Put some clothes on, would you?" You jerked your head forward to meet Tommy walking up with a grin on his face. You rolled your eyes.

"I'll put on more clothes when you shave off that disaster you call a mustache."

He put his hand over his chest that shook with laughter and took the vacant seat next to you. When you offered him coffee, he politely declined, chuckling when you insisted that you could add whiskey to it for him. "I actually came to ask a favor."

He watched as you peered down at the imaginary watch on your wrist before giving him a skeptical look. “Tommy, if you’re asking me to work, the answer is-”

“No! God, no.” You let out a thank fuck under your breath. “It’s for tonight.”

You raised your eyebrows as you drew a sip from your coffee. For tonight? He took your silence as a cue to continue.

"Joel tells me that you've got quite the music collection. I was wonderin' if I could borrow a couple of your tapes or CDs or whatever y'got?"

You thought about it for half a second, but pretended to be in deep contemplation. He grew antsy, attempting to seriously reason with you, and when you couldn't hold it together any longer, you hid your grin behind your mug as you watched him realize that you were fucking with him. You got up from your seat and signaled for him to follow you inside as you grabbed cassettes for his cause.

Joel had been in the kitchen pouring himself a cup from the pot you had already brewed. You peered around the corner to set your mug on the counter, flashing him a bright smile before quickly scurrying off, catching a glimpse of how his face dropped from a smile to confusion upon hearing more footsteps in the house. You giggled once you heard his groan, followed by 'Jesus, don't you know what time it is?'

You picked through your pile, grabbing tapes that you were certain would be winners. Once content with your selection, you brought them back to Tommy in the kitchen. His eyes and smile widened at the handful, carefully taking them into his possession. Joel, still clearly waking up, watched the interaction with a dull curiosity over the rim of his mug, flickering his gaze from you, to the cassettes, and lastly Tommy.

Your eyes lingered on the tapes, a small smile brought to your face at the pure nostalgia they held. You knew each track on each tape, word for word. You remembered when you heard them for the first time, what life had felt like, and when you found yourself listening to them the most. Normally, you'd feel hesitant to lend out your most prized possessions. They’d been with you ever since before outbreak day, and the one constant you had since the beginning that got you through your toughest times. But this was Tommy, and you didn’t have to think twice about whether or not you could trust him.

"Wait, I almost forgot!" You snapped out of your thinking to go and retrieve another part from your pile. You handed him a small deck of index cards binded together with twine in what was your own way of personally cataloging. "It's already in order, by cassette and song title, so you can figure out if there's something you don't wanna play.. or whatever you got planned." You lazily gestured.

The brothers exchanged a look before turning their attention to the cards. Joel set his coffee down and took the thin stack from Tommy, reading over it together as they glanced back and forth between the cardstock and the tapes. The corner of his mouth curled up as he skimmed over the songs, making it impossible for you not to smile either. You sheepishly looked down while rolling your feet from heel to toe with your hands behind your back, feeling like a kid showing their parents a piece of art they made at school.

"Had the world not gone to shit, you could’ve been a mean music curator.” Joel waved the cards between his thumb and forefinger, a suppressed laugh leaving your lips.

“Yeah.. damn, these bring back some good memories. Buncha’ old ones on here, some even way before our time.” Tommy motioned between himself and Joel.

The small smile on Joel’s face grew bigger, his face becoming more lively at a realization. “Y’know, ‘lotta these were popular bar songs. You were just shy of eighteen back then, weren’t you?”

Tommy quickly caught on to Joel’s train of thought, matching his grin. You stared at him with a subtle smirk, knowing that he knew he was right, and only asked to make it a point that he knew that. And in a way, you found it kind of.. hot? He was keenly aware of your timeline and able to make the connections that no one else really could. He didn’t have to do the mental math like Tommy probably was after he said it. You felt a surge of heat in your cheeks and on the tip of your ears as their gaze on you persisted, waiting for you to answer.

“.. I may or may not have snuck into them..”

Their voices overlapped with elation, to which you stuck up a middle finger for each Miller.

“Sounds like you were living on the edge,” Tommy peered down at Joel’s hand, “..of seventeen.”

Before you could open your mouth to scold Tommy for popping the corniest joke in all of the apocalypse, he and Joel fell into their own fit of laughter, bumping shoulders and elbowing one another. So proud and smug of their joint-effort to expose your rebellious years. But you found yourself grinning, not at the joke, but at them.

You shook your head, letting out a mix of a laugh and sigh, “Alright, you boys had your fun. Now Joel, why don’t you do your big brother duties and show Tommy the way out?”

He raised a brow at you, bringing his mug to his lips, “Must I remind you that it was you that brought him in here, not me?”

Tommy raised his hands up in defense as you glared at Joel, “Alright- I’ll see myself out.” He winked at you as he walked past, “Give you a break before ya’ gotta deal with me tonight.”

You and Joel walked him to the door, exchanging goodbyes until later this evening. Just before stepping out, Tommy suddenly turned over his shoulder to you. "Oh! Before I forget– Are you seein’ anybody?”

You froze at his question, your smile slacked and your eyes widened. The residual feeling of laughter in your chest subsided quickly as if it never existed in the first place. He held up his left hand, “Not for me, obviously.”

You rolled your eyes, then narrowing them at him. “Yeah, no shit. What, are you playing matchmaker for me?”

“Not for you, someone else.” A shit-eating grin appeared on his face. “So, are you?”

The short answer was no. You were too busy with leading your life in Jackson.. And being hopelessly in love with his brother.

“Uh– no. I’m not.”

Joel's gaze shifted towards you, your words evoking enough of a reaction out of him, to which Tommy caught and raised an eyebrow with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. They bounced between you and Joel as if he had caught a whiff of the unspoken agreement you two held. You felt your cheeks go hot again, knowing that your words hadn't gone unnoticed by either of them.

He bid a final farewell with an unconvincing nod that left you both standing in the foyer quietly, which was luckily cut short by Ellie coming through the back door, giving you both the perfect excuse to forget all about.. whatever that was.

She rubbed away the sleep in her eyes, murmuring a good morning to you and Joel as she made her way into the kitchen, both of you treading in after her. You inquired about the basics. How'd you sleep? Want me to make you something for breakfast? Do you want orange juice? What are your plans for the day? Joel watched as you engaged in conversation, admiration and warmth flaring in his chest as you seamlessly transitioned into your role as a caretaker.

You were receptive when she shared her plans for the day, further inquiring about smaller details of her schedule. He watched as Ellie became more animated the more she got to talk about her day ahead, especially as you encouraged her.

"What about you guys? Don't you both have off today?" Ellie faced in her chair so that she could clearly see you both.

You exchanged a glance with Joel before you both shrugged your shoulders. You hadn't realized that he had the day off as well, if you were being completely honest. As you thought about it, it occured to you that you hadn't gotten to figure that part out, since Tommy and all. When you confessed that you hadn’t planned anything for the day, Ellie’s eyes squinted in deep thought for a moment, then looked back at you both, “Why don’t you guys do something together?

You straightened up at her proposal, mildly thrown off, sharing another look with Joel before you both attempted to give a series of excuses, which just came out in a mess of jumbled, almost incoherent words.

“Oh, come on! You guys almost never do anything together.”

You folded your arms in defiance, but it came off more as a pout. “Yes, we do.”

“Sitting at home together doesn’t count.” You opened your mouth to disagree, but nothing came out. “Go out! Have a date or something.”

You nearly choked on your coffee as Joel sighed, speaking with caution, “Ellie–”

“Anyways! I’m off to Dina’s for the day.” She beamed and laughed in victory as she watched you two writhe in place. You could hear the smile in her voice as she left out the back door, “You kids have fun tonight, and make good decisions!”

God– first Tommy, now her. It couldn’t have been past nine yet.

You hand cradled your elbow, the other hand covering your eyes as your thumb and middle finger kneaded at your temples. Okay, maybe she was right. Maybe you and Joel didn’t spend proper ‘quality time’ together, but it just wasn’t something that either one of you were accustomed to. Before Jackson, the most you were able to be alone outside of your apartments were during smuggle runs, which was definitely not the type of recreational activity that she was referring to, and once you picked her up and finally settled here, your lives were centered around her and your respective jobs for the community.

Joel crossed his arms and leaned in the doorway that bordered the dining room, staring at the back door and then subsequently at you. You hadn’t noticed him looking, still hiding behind your hand to mask your embarrassment, and saw how his eyes raked over your figure, taking in how little clothes you were wearing. The black tank top was a deep cut halter that exposed your arms, chest, and just the littlest bit of midriff. Your shorts matched in color, the fabric just hovering over the higher part of your thighs with slits up the sides.

It was a good thing for him that you had your eyes covered. You weren’t able to see how his tongue poked over his bottom lip and his eyes that were drawn to your cleavage that was accentuated by your arms drawn together. Even with your fair share of scars, your skin looked so perfect and soft under the glow of sunlight through the window, so much that he could barely keep himself back from touching you, wanting to trace the contours of your arms with his fingers and hold your face in his palms again.

His heart thumped in his chest as he wondered what it would feel like to rub your legs against his under bed sheets. How it would feel to press his fingertips into the soft flesh of your hips–

“Joel?”

His head jerked up slightly as his eyes darted to yours. “What?”

Irked, you threw your hand away from your face in an exasperated manner, “Do you wanna come?

He stared dumbly at you, stuttering, “Do I- w-what?”

“To Lake Falwich! Weren’t you listening?” You threw him an incredulous look as he shook his head to himself, apparent to you that he in fact hadn’t listened to a damn word you said.

Lake Falwich was located off of Elk Creek, an area you and Joel switched off on patrolling. You’d found the place when you went off-path during your first summer patrol, deeming it as another little hidden gem of Jackson County. Over the years, you grew fond of it and made it a point to frequent it whenever beyond the walls, but you hadn’t been yet this season.

“Uh, yeah– Yes– Sure.”

You didn’t know what had gotten into him in the last few minutes, but you couldn’t deny that you enjoyed seeing him all flustered and not being able to keep eye contact with you. How the tables turned for once.

“I’ll be ready to head out in ten.” You began to head towards the stairs for your room, but stopped at his side and placed your hand on his shoulder, curling your fingers over the muscle, “Don’t keep me waiting.”

A grin adorned your face as you walked away, leaving Joel to hang onto the sensation that burned his skin where you touched him and force himself to calm down from the excitement growing in his pants. He hadn’t really known what he’d just gotten himself into with you, and you were pleasantly surprised at his answer as you half-expected him to come up with some reason to not go.

But one thing was clear to you both: It was definitely not a date.

Your hands draped near the straps of his pack by his hips as you rode out, brushing against his belt and jeans every so often. It wasn’t a difficult route by any means; fairly smooth and clear of any obstructions.

Being the passenger gave you the opportunity to be immersed by your surroundings rather than having to focus in front of you. You got to pay attention to the small things, like the rhythmic beat of the horse’s hooves against the ground and the scent of pine mingled with the earthy aroma of the forest. The trees towered above you, their branches forming a natural canopy that filtered the sunlight, casting dappled shadows on the trail. Every so often, the trees would give way to open meadows, where wildflowers swayed in the gentle breeze.

When you weren’t being captivated by nature, your attention was drawn back to Joel. The heat had caused his hair to curl at the nape of his neck that was slicked with sweat, seeping into the collar of his dark gray shirt that stretched across his shoulders and back with more splotches of sweat. Now and then, you’d get a glimpse of his profile when he scouted around. You felt like a teenager getting to hang out with her crush that she’d had since elementary school, your stomach doing flips just from the proximity alone.

The ride itself was filled with comfortable silence, punctuated by moments of look there and did you see that? with every passing mile. You could get used to this– having these little outings together.

You could hear the rushing water before you could see it, the sound of it growing louder and louder until it finally came into view. When the landscape presented itself before you, you felt a child-like thrill growing in your chest. The clear water shimmered with a vivid turquoise hue that seemed almost unreal, partnered with tall limestone walls that framed the lake. Smaller stone structures and boulders formed near the base of the waterfall, enticing you to explore and conquer their heights again like you’d done in the past. The vegetation extended all around the area, mosses and ferns clung to the rock walls in a tapestry of greenery. It all gave you a sense of simultaneous exhilaration and peace.

Eager to get to the water, you dismounted from the horse before Joel could hitch it, causing him to call out after you in protest and watch you with a careful eye as he got everything situated. You stood at the mouth of the lake with your boots kicked off when he joined you, slowly following suit.

“So.. What do you wanna do now?”

With the heat, there was only one thing to do.

“Jump in.” You pointed to a ledge that was a considerable height up. “From there.”

He met where your finger signaled, then back to you with a quizzical look. “Don’t you reckon that’s a bit high?”

You shrugged your shoulders and threw a smile over your shoulder as you walked away from him, earning a scoff and one of his typical disapproving head shakes. His eyes stayed on you as you made your way, widening when you started to peel off your clothes piece by piece.

First off was your tank top, slipping it effortlessly over your head, then the undoing of your belt and shimmying out of your jeans. You’d stripped down to only a sports bra and underwear, both of which happened to match, which was very much unplanned. Through each removal of clothing, Joel couldn’t help but have his eyes glued to you. He became restless, running his hands through his hair and turning around just to face back to you because he simply couldn’t keep his eyes off you. And when you looked back at him, you felt a little boost of confidence in seeing how he kept his attention on you.

You ascended the rocks, reaching your desired spot and standing proudly, waving your arms above your head at a miffed Joel. The air was filled with a refreshing mist, carrying the fragrance of damp earth and the invigorating energy of the cascading waterfall. The lake below you offered a new perspective on how high you really were, and for a second, you considered that Joel was maybe right.

But fuck it.

Your legs propelled you forward, curling up as you plummeted, and your shouts of joy drowned out by the thunderous roar of the falls. The water engulfed you, prickling your body with its cold touch. Submerged beneath the surface, you held onto the sensation of being weightless, listening to nothing but the ebb and flow of the currents and feeling them weave through your fingertips.

You emerged from the depths to the sun’s warmth on your face. When you refocused your vision, you saw that Joel was standing in the same spot as before, now with his arms crossed against his chest. You swam closer to the shoreline.

“Come on, water’s fine!” He shook his head. “It wasn’t a question, now get your ass in here, Miller!”

He rolled his eyes and huffed, shaking his head once more before pulling off his shirt by the collar and tossing it aside with his boots and pack, and despite being in the freezing water, you flooded with heat at the sight of him. You’d only seen him in small increments when tending his wounds, but now you could finally know what he looked like underneath those damned clothes.

Just as you suspected, his shoulders were strong with muscle, and the prominent veins in his hands and forearms traveled upwards through his biceps. His chest and abdomen were toned and had an even layer of hair, and you basically drooled at the definition of his hips and the trail of hair leading down that was secured by a belt. Beyond his attractive features, though, you saw his scars of survival. His torso littered with healed lesions, many of which you cared for, and a significant mark near his side that reflected the time of his near-death.

“Don’t splash me now, alright?” He stifled a laugh as he undid his belt, which took all your self-control to not watch his hands and think ungodly things. Once he stripped down to his boxer briefs, he stepped further into the lake, wincing at the coldness as he got deeper. When the water reached his thighs, he sucked in a sharp breath and hissed, “Shit- That’s cold.”

You were too busy gaping at how muscles tensed and contorted to make a stupid remark. He delved deeper into the lake until he fully submerged himself, surfacing quickly and shaking out his hair, which was doing things for you. In all the years you spent with him, you didn’t think that he could possibly get more attractive, nor did you think that you’d ever be like this right now, yet here you were.

In what was supposed to be a little fun getaway from all the stresses of the world, you found yourself seriously lusting for him in this moment, which was a stress all on its own. You were alone in a very much secluded area, only an article of clothing or two away from being naked, moreover. The very thought sent you over the edge, making you physically ache where you wanted him the most. How easy it’d be to just close the distance and get lost in him for hours.

The fact that you couldn’t do that, though, pained you viscerally. You couldn’t keep looking at him, or else you’d do something stupid, so you closed your eyes and spread your limbs out to drift on your back. You focused on your breathing, honing in on how your body bobbed with each inhale and exhale and letting the water guide you in any direction.

The next few hours were spent floating, challenging Joel to swimming races, and jumping off the rocks to see who could make the bigger splashes. You found yourselves in lots of banter and bickering, especially when you did a flip off of a ledge and Joel was very displeased that you could’ve hit your head. All you could feel was pure, unadulterated happiness. Together, you were having fun. Real fun. Enjoying each other’s company and nature’s playground.

A while after you returned to drifting on your backside, an unfamiliar sensation across your back and thighs caused you to flail and frantically look around. Sheer panic rose as you realized that you’d drifted off into the deeper end, and you tried to calmly but quickly thrust yourself back into shallow waters.

“Somethin’ got you scared?” Joel had been awfully calm with an arrogant grin on his face, and his laughter rung out clear in the air as he watched you go through the motions of panic, confusion, and finally disdain.

You feigned indignation. “Don’t be a dick.”

Once your feet touched the solid floor, you waded and found a spot to sit in the safety of the shallows, pulling your knees up and resting your arms on them. As Joel drew in to join you, you watched as the water lapped at his waist, drawing your attention to the band of his boxer briefs that seemed to hang dangerously low on his hips and how they clung to him in a way that’d have all the women in Jackson ready on their knees for him. His body swayed with a subtle rhythm and cadence that was uniquely his; full of purpose and so.. virile. You averted your gaze to the sediment of where you sat in an attempt to rid yourself of the thoughts you were having.

The clearness allowed you to examine its composition of pebbles and rocks of all kinds, and you picked up handfuls of them to admire their different qualities, quickly getting wrapped up in recognizing unique patterns and markings. Joel watched as you threw the ones you didn’t like further into the lake, like it was a process of elimination until you found the best one.

When you liked one, you wordlessly handed it to him without taking your attention away from the ones in front of you. There was a serene grace in your actions, as if you were entrusting him with something fragile and precious, and he took notice of the care in which you handled each stone. He’d give it a once over, his fingers gliding over the surface, before dropping it back into your hand. There was something about you doing this, yielding to human nature’s innocent curiosity, that made it so much more than just a seemingly mundane exchange to him.

Your eyes met his briefly, and you saw he was truly relaxed from how the hard lines of his face were softened. The sun shone on him in where you could really see the depths of his eyes; the green-gold that seeped into a lighter brown around his pupil, creating the most beautiful iris structure you’d ever seen. His skin held a perpetual tan with freckles all over his shoulders, a feature that you weren’t necessarily familiar with. Waves and curls formed near his ears and forehead as his hair dried, most of it disheveled and left you wanting to run your fingers through to tame it. Your eyes drifted to his body for a moment, overly cognizant of how much bigger he was compared to you. With a tinge of a smile, you turned back to your little stones, gently placing them back in the water in a decision to leave them where they belonged.

“As much as I’ve enjoyed this,” Joel’s voice filled the silence, “we should get goin’ soon. Promised Tommy I’d swing by to help set up a couple things.”

You hummed in acknowledgment. If there was one thing about Joel, it was that he always showed up for Tommy, no matter how big or small it was. Even if it was a five-minute task or a project that Tommy was entirely capable of doing on his own, Joel was always there. You had that in common with him, back when you had your brother.

As you were about to stand, Joel hovered over you with an extended hand. You clasped it with your own as you gained your balance, but when doing so, your eyes caught a glimpse of something slithering right under your feet. You yelped at the sight, tightening your grip around his hand, and he instinctively pulled you to him, wrapping a protective arm around your waist while acting as a shield between you and the potential danger. He scanned the water, catching on to what you saw: a plains garter snake.

At the sound of his chuckle, you braced yourself against his chest in confusion as his arms were still around you. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s not-” he loosened his hold, but his hands still splayed over your waist. “It’s harmless, nothin’ to worry about.”

“Oh.” You bowed your head forward in relief and slight embarrassment, and a faint smile played at his lips. Your hands were still on each other, almost as if you were trying to play it out as long as possible until either you pulled away or he did, which winded up being the former. You drew back to yourself, stepping backwards as he released you. “Thanks.”

You both retrieved your belongings and set up on a flat bed of rock to dry out, another comfortable silence enveloping you once again as you bathed in the warmth. With your arm slung over your eyes, you could only sense Joel’s presence beside you. You slid your arm up to peer at him, his eyes fixed on the lake. His legs were drawn towards his chest with his forearms on his knees, his chest rising and falling in calm breaths. There was a peacefulness in his expression, a sense of contentment that mirrored your own. You smiled before covering up again, but he caught you at the last second.

“What’re you thinkin’ about over there?”

You brushed off his question. “Who says I’m thinking?”

“If there’s one thing about you, it’s that you’re never not thinkin’.” You sat up at the accusatory words, arching your eyebrows in disbelief. “Go on now, don’t keep me in suspense.”

“I..” a grin spread on your face, “..was thinking about how much fun your shift must’ve been with Fitz yesterday.”

You giggled as he let out a groan, successfully diverting away from where the conversation was leading. “Oh, it was a fuckin’ shift alright– and I don’t wanna talk too much about work, but he shouldn’t be bothering you anymore.”

You faced him and leaned back on your hand, eyeing him, “Joel, what did you-”

“I took care of it.” He left no room for you to speak, his voice stern. He softened a moment after once he realized how it came out a little too sharp. He lowered his attention down to his hands, rubbing his thumb into his palm, “..Not s’pose to treat a woman the way he does, especially when it’s you.”

A moment came and went in where it looked like he regretted his words, fearing that he may have revealed too much, or maybe not enough. But what you felt was incomparable to anything you’d ever felt before, hearing him tell you– blatantly admit to you that he regarded you differently than other people, and that if someone crossed you, they were crossing him too. You always knew he had your six, but this was different than that.

“Why didn’t you tell me he was doin’ that? Or Tommy?”

Those dumb, beautiful eyes conveyed a genuine concern that immediately made you feel guilty for not saying something sooner when you very well could’ve. At the same time, you didn’t want to fuss or make a big deal out of it. It was better that it was you than someone else, like Joel. So you tolerated it, because you were still able to do your job even with an annoying fucking twat as your partner.

“I never took him seriously. I thought he’d just stop if I ignored it enough, but.. clearly not.” You gave a half-suppressed laugh, knowing how ridiculous and naive it sounded out loud. He sighed at your answer, making you fidget, “I know! I know. You’re right– it was stupid of me-”

“Sweetheart–” his hand on your leg and delicious southern drawl shut you right up, “nothin’ stupid about you tryin’ to keep the peace. Just.. let me know next time, okay?”

All you could do was nod, dumbfounded by this new, open protectiveness towards you. He knew better than anyone else how you could handle yourself, but he still couldn’t help but feel that it was his job to keep you safe and be your advocate when you weren’t your own.

Without another word, he rose and offered you a hand up, indicating that enough time had passed and you should get going if you were going to be on time for the party. You accepted the gesture again, but he held your hand longer this time as he guided you down the rocks so that you wouldn’t trip, a chivalrous act that also gave an excuse to linger on your skin.

A hot shower was what you needed to scrub the freshwater off your skin and out of your hair, also to give you some much needed relief from having to control yourself the whole time you were with him, but of course you did that after he left since you shared his bathroom.

The sun dipped lower in the sky, casting a golden glow over Jackson. The vibrant energy of the evening pulsed through the town, the streets alive with people as they made their way to the most popular establishment, laughter and music floating through the air. You’d gone through about four outfits before ultimately deciding on a ribbed henley tank, jeans, and sneakers

Just before running out the door, you checked yourself in the mirror to smooth any stray hairs away from your face. With a smile, you stepped out, falling in with your neighbors who’d been on their way over as well, engaging in conversation on the short walk there. There’d been a crowd gathered outside the Tipsy Bison, people mingling and sharing stories, some already on their second round of drinks.

Through the doors you were immediately greeted by a wave of warmth and liveliness. Your eyes danced around the bar, jumping from full booths and high tables, to the large alcohol selection behind the counter guarded by about three barkeeps if you were counting right. The air was filled with a thousand different scents, ranging from beer and cigarettes to perfume and aftershave. And lastly, the sounds which brought it all together, the clinking of glasses and hum of conversation, and of course, music. Your music that people were enjoying.

Searching the crowd, you spotted familiar faces and friends scattered throughout the place, engrossed in their own circles, but the one person you actively sought out was nowhere in sight. Your efforts slowed as you heard a picking of chords grow louder over the speakers, causing a wild smile to grow on your face.

♫

I looked out this morning and the sun was gone Turned on some music to start my day I lost myself in a familiar song

♫

“I closed my eyes and I slipped awaaay!” Tommy appeared at your side two shots in one hand and unopened beers between his fingers in the other, slinging the arm around your shoulder as he pushed the small glass into your hands.

Without hesitation, you threw the shot back with him, feeling the instant burn go down your throat. You both popped off the beer caps off a nearby counter, a party trick you’d gotten quite good at over the years, before rushing over to the middle of the floor to join the rest of the party and sing your hearts out to your first song of the night. You could barely hear yourself over the speakers and fellow singers, saving you from the embarrassment from being incredibly off-key. Your body reacted instantly to the music, finding the rhythm and constantly moving in accordance. That was the other thing about music, you felt most comfortable in your skin when you listened and danced to it, being able to fall in with whatever played. In between the verses, you hurried over to the bar to grab more shots and beers, slamming doubles back before pulling each other back to the floor.

You and Tommy locked arms and pressed back to back while holding up your bottles in a toast-fashion, switching off during the last chorus and refrain and holding out the longer notes.

♫

It’s more than a feeling (More than a feeling!)

When I hear that old song they used to play (More than a feeling!)

I begin dreaming (More than a feeling!) ...

♫

The alcohol was slowly but surely taking over, a key indicator being the warm, fuzzy buzzing that flourished throughout your body. You clung to Tommy’s shoulder and leaned towards his ear during a break between songs, “Tommy, this is way better than I thought it was gonna be!”

He looked at you with wide eyes and a grin, “I know right! Joel really helped pull it together before we opened the doors!”

You smiled at the compliment towards his brother, then furrowing your brows. “Where is he, anyway?”

You both looked around for a moment before Tommy steered you off to the side, yelling that it was too hard to see from the middle, and your efforts were put on pause again as you winded up near a large group of patrolmen that grabbed Tommy’s attention. He dragged you with him to socialize, though you mainly watched from the outskirts of the circle, smiling and nodding along where the conversations went as you didn’t have much to say or add.

When you went to drink from your bottle, you noticed the lightness of it and realized that you needed another, giving you the perfect excuse to slip away and look for him. You checked over your shoulders as you squeezed your way through to the bar to request your next drink, and it didn’t help that the room was dimly lit and was accompanied by flashing strobes.

The barkeep slid you a bottle across the counter and you swiftly popped it off, taking a swig before turning around right into somebody. An apology flew out of your mouth before you could even see who it was, their voice catching your attention and making you look at them.

“Hey, no worries! Both still got our drinks, yeah?”

Samson flashed you a grin, his hand light on your arm but enough to keep you steady. You raised your beer to him, his eyes flickered between it and you before raising his own and tapping the neck of your bottles together. You both took another swig.

As you got into conversation, you moved away from the bar towards the wall where there wasn’t much action going on. You talked about how nice the place had been transformed for the night and shared your favorite drinks, occasionally dropping a drunk-story from your youths. And the weird part? You found yourself genuinely enjoying his presence. With the way he kept eye-contact with you and made you feel like he was actually listening and comprehending the words falling out of your mouth, laughing and giving you verbal cues that he was following along, it made you see him in a way you hadn’t before.

You were.. enchanted. If it had been any other man, they’d dominate the conversation, going on about themselves the whole time and forcing you to listen. But with Samson, he treated you like an equal. He never cut you off or interjected to relate, waiting until you were entirely done or if you allowed him to weigh in between your thoughts.

“By the way–” he wiped his mouth of any residual beer, “I don’t want this to come off as weird, but you look incredible tonight. I don't think I’ve ever seen you dress in anything other than like, work clothes– and not that you look bad in that!” You giggled as he tripped over his words, his cheeks flushing a deeper shade. “What I’m trying to say is that I think you’re very beautiful, and I don’t want you to think I’m like Fitz.”

Your fingers brushed against his arm, furrowing your eyebrows at him for thinking such things, “Awh, Samson! You’re nothing like him, I hope you know that.”

He smiled down at his feet before back at you, “I know the other day you said that you and Joel weren’t a thing, and Tommy told me you weren’t seeing anybody– so I guess I’m just triple checking here– is there someone in the picture?”

So this was who Tommy was playing matchmaker for.

Your heart slowed and you fought to keep the innocent smile on your face. Was he approaching you at the bar when you bumped into him? Was he pretending to act like that just to segue into this? Several things ran through your mind as your eyes drifted away from his, and just when he was about to call you back to attention, the devil himself appeared: Tommy.

He swooped in around Samson’s shoulders, nursing a beer in hand. He held a smugness in his demeanor, surely you thought it was about the scene he’d set up until he spoke.

“Looks like you may have a roommate for the night.”

He jerked his hand behind him to a woman leaning against a pillar with Joel standing mere inches in front of her. He stood still with his hands to himself, but dropped his head closer to hers with a clear smile on his face. She beamed up at him with a look you knew all too well, not even attempting to conceal her attraction to him. She laughed too much for your liking while gripping his bicep, probably sneaking in some flirty comment with a double-meaning. Good fucking God.

You thought maybe you had a breakthrough at the lake, but this proved that you clearly didn’t, and you couldn’t believe you were stupid enough to think that what he said had any depth underneath it. Joel cared about you– this you knew. He cared in the same way he cared for Tommy and Ellie. But somewhere along the lines you’d gotten it confused with love, something he had for them, but maybe not you. Samson’s words replayed in your head in a painful reminder.

You said you and Joel weren’t a thing… Tommy told me you weren’t seeing anybody.. Is there someone in the picture?

Your eyes widened then narrowed, your jaw wiring shut as your chest began to heave. Tommy’s grin fell as he watched your features morph into something between resent and heartbreak, his eyes nervously peering from you, to Joel, to Samson as the alcohol took a momentary backseat.

He’d always sensed something between you and Joel after you settled in, though he knew that neither one of you would ever admit to your feelings for each other out of stubbornness. But he saw the way Joel looked at you after saying you didn’t have someone to call your own this morning, how his big brother almost looked offended by the truth of your answer. The reality was that Samson was interested in you, but Tommy had seen it as an opportunity to put pressure on the status between you both, and now he saw that it didn’t go in the direction of which he hoped and it was clearly affecting you.

“Oh, y’know he won’t take ‘er home! Never’s taken anyone. Not like that with him. Too chickenshit.” He tried his best to play off his earlier comment to put you at ease, but by the way the gap seemed to be closing between them only made the green-eyed monster rear its ugly head in full force.

You cleared your throat as you broke away, grabbing three shots off a nearby high table and handing them to the two men before you, needing to wash down the bitter taste in your mouth. “Oh, Tommy, you must’ve mistaken me for someone who cares. Who knows if I’ll even be going home tonight?”

Samson’s face lit up in surprise as you wiggled your brows at him and grabbed his hand to lead away while leaving Tommy open-mouthed as he saw right through your spite. Breathless curses left his mouth as he watched you disappear through the crowd, a frustration growing towards you and Joel for being so goddamn stupid about each other.

The barkeeps fed you two more shots and another beer. The alcohol was definitely hitting now. A few minutes ago, you were properly pissed off, wanting to storm up to Joel and give him a piece of your mind and telling the woman to go kick rocks, but now you were all over Samson, turning up the charm for him. It didn’t matter anymore if he just wanted to fuck, because maybe you’d just let him. He let out a chuckle and smiled, prompting you to tilt your head at him in question.

“The music tonight has been so fucking good,” he drank from the bottle, a smirk forming on your face, “I mean, when was the last time you heard this song?”

The bass riff and guitars let you know exactly what song had been playing, a long-time favorite of yours. You could’ve answered 'a couple months ago' to his question, but you took silent pride in knowing that he was another person impressed by your picks. He understood your cue as you turned your head to the middle of the room and back, placing his hand on the small of your back as you weaved through people. You wrapped an arm around his shoulder as he drew you closer to him by your waist, moving in sync to the beat.

♫

One of these nights One of these crazy old nights We're gonne find out pretty mama What turns on your lights ...

♫

If intimacy, yearning, and sex was a song, surely it’d be this one.

♫

Ooh.. someone to be kind to In between the dark and the light ...

♫

You sang out with your heart, pressing your body into Samson’s, but knowing the lyrics were about him. And deep down, you wanted him to hear it and think of you. Think of how you were the daughter of the devil himself and the angel in white, the woman he’s been looking for with a little of both and how she is in sight.

Around you were all couples reflecting exactly what you’d been doing, some doing more but your eyes didn’t linger on them long. You caught the faces of work friends and neighbors totally focused on their person as you swayed around, smiling at their fun. Eventually, the whole room sang along, an imperfect harmony to your ears that you couldn’t get tired of hearing tonight.

As the song winded down, Samson held you closer and craned his head down until your foreheads and noses were touching, still swaying to the guitar riffs. You took it a step further and pressed your mouth to his, your hand cupping his cheek and fingertips grazing his hair. You hadn’t expected anything out of it other than the feeling of your lips on someone else’s, but you didn’t pull away. You couldn’t. Your tongues found one another every other kiss, deepening as they went. His warmth kept you glued to him, and you found yourself taking a liking to his taste of alcohol and.. mint, maybe? Definitely something with an icy, refreshing hint.

You didn’t realize how long you’d been kissing, or kissing enough times that it was leading to straight-up making out, until you heard clear hoots and whistles during the switch between songs. When you pulled away, his lips were noticeably more plump compared to earlier, and the tingling sensation on yours let you know that they probably looked the same. You bit your bottom lip as you looked around at the ones cheering you on, the corners of your mouth curling up, but you broke out into a complete grin once you saw his face.

♫

Off with your head Dance til you're dead Heads will roll Heads will roll ...

♫

You’d almost tripped over your own two feet, discreetly looking over Samson’s shoulder from left to right to make sure you were seeing things right, and the excitement you felt when they were? Unmatched. And almost as if it’d been planned, the perfect song was playing.

If he’d been giving you or Samson a death-stare, you couldn’t tell, but either way, you loved seeing the scowl on his face. His fingers tightly curled around his beer that if he did it any tighter it’d break, the hard lines on his face prominent to you even this far away. You situated yourself to the side, giving him the perfect view as you brushed your nose against Samson’s, giving him your best doe eyes before melting into his mouth again, making sure that Joel could see the smile on your lips when you broke away and went back for more.

Your body winded up as the song progressed, building up to the drop and heavy riff. The strobe lights blinked quickly enough to cause a stroboscopic effect on everyone’s movement, perceiving them to move slower than they actually were. But when you looked back at Joel, he stayed completely still, his eyes locked on you between the several bodies that separated you from him. He looked so.. menacing.. that it made you shiver and throb. A wicked grin spread on your lips.

♫

Off, off with your head! Dance, dance til you're dead!

♫

Turning around, you pressed into Samson and grinded your backside into him. His hands were off you as quickly they were on you, frowning at the absence, you spun around and saw why: Tommy, again. You’d suspected something bad from the way his gaze fell back and forth between you both and he had a strong hand on his shoulder, but were eased when Samson held up a finger to you and smiled.

As much as you wanted to dance, you also wanted another drink, the empty bottle in your hand now warm from holding it for so long. Sliding shoulders through the floor, you looked between the bar and the bathroom, choosing to make the pitstop before continuing on. Pushing in the door, you were relieved there wasn’t a line, darting into an open stall to squat and do your business. As you finished, another body entered the bathroom in heels that clicked and echoed until they stopped in front of the sink, to what you imagined was a woman checking her makeup. When you got out, you saw their reflection in the mirror– indeed they’d been checking their face, but it’d also been the woman that’d been smitten with Joel. You paid no mind to her other than your initial glance, ignoring her presence and harshly scrubbing the soap on your hands.

“That older Miller’s somethin’, ain’t he?” Your hands froze under the running water. “I only got a taste earlier, but I bet he’s real good in bed.”

The fuck does she mean she got a taste earlier?

Your face must’ve been showing too much of a reaction based on the stupid fucking smile on hers and a snobbish laugh. Not even bothering to dry off your hands with paper towel, you rubbed them against your jeans and threw the door open to leave, storming up to the bar and impatiently tapping your fingers against the wood as you waited.

Fuck her, and fuck Joel. And you know what? Fuck Tommy, too. If he hadn’t brought it to your attention, maybe you wouldn’t have seen it. Then you wouldn’t have downed one too many drinks and legitimately considered sleeping with someone as rebound off hurt feelings, and then maybe, just maybe, you wouldn’t be feeling like all kinds of fucked up right now. You blinked back the burning in your eyes. Don’t cry. Don’t fucking cry over this right now.

The lights returned to their original dimness and calmed down on the strobes, allowing you to search around a bit easier for any of the three people you found yourself with most tonight, but had no luck. Samson and Tommy were out of sight, and you didn’t have the slightest idea of what he pulled Samson away for. As for Joel, he moved from the last spot you remembered him in, or was it over there? You shook your head. It didn’t take much contemplation to decide on going home, you had your fun, but it was over, and you were too far gone to spark it back up in any capacity.

You held your arms tight to your body as you embraced the cool air on the walk to Rancher Street, a fair distance from the Tipsy Bison. The lightness in your head caused you to stumble quite a bit, wishing that either your house was closer or that someone would’ve walked with you. Other times when you drank too much, though it didn’t happen very often, either Tommy or Joel were right there at your side to get you home safe, but you wanted to throw yourself in someone’s yard and pass the fuck out rather than be alone.

Stomping up the porch, you caught yourself on the doorknob last minute as you tripped, fumbling it open and pushing inside. You ungracefully dropped to your ass, tugging at the aglets of your laces in the dark until the knots came undone and kicked your shoes off. So focused on keeping yourself upright, you hadn’t noticed Joel staring at you while leaning against the entryway of the living room with his arms crossed.

“Wasn’t expecting you.” His tone was deep and flat. You scoffed as you got off the floor, face contorting as you mocked him.

“I live here, don’t I?”

“Alone, I meant.” You shook your head as you walked past him, but he grabbed your wrist and held you in place, feeling the heat of his glare on your back. “You gon’ tell me what the hell that was back there?”

You met his eyes over your shoulder. “That was me having a good time. Same as you with that lovely woman.”

“Bullshit.” He shot back. “That wasn’t the same.”

“Oh, please,” you scoffed while yanking your wrist back, turning into the kitchen and bracing yourself along the island, “s’hardly a difference.”

“Really?” He followed you, his frustration apparent in the way his jaw clenched. “‘Cause it sure looked like you were all over him tryin’ to prove somethin’.”

You pointed at yourself, “I don’t have anything to prove to anybody!” you snapped, the words coming out slow but loud, “And if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re jealous.”

His eyes darkened, slowly taking a step towards you, “I am not-”

“Then what the fuck is wrong?” You staggered around the island on the emphasis of the curse, throwing your hands up, “I didn’t do a damn thing, and you’re losing your fucking head!”

“You didn’t– Wow.” A wry laugh came out his mouth. He waved you off, his tone dripping with bitterness. “I ain’t gotta explain myself to you.”

“And neither do I!” You retorted in defiance, your arms grandly gesturing. Your cheeks were hot with anger now, more so than before. “I can do whatever the hell I want, Joel! I don’t need your fucking permission!”

He dragged a hand down his face, turning away from you before whipping around and meeting you at the end of the island, raising his voice at you. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“And you’re insufferable!” you seethed as you pushed his chest, his hands seizing your wrists, “Acting like you have some fucking claim over me when we’re not even together!”

The silence after your outburst was deafening.

His anger faltered as a flash of pain crossed his face, quickly making your own frustration subside. The hard lines on his face deepened, a slight frown and somberness settling upon it. His grip on your wrists remained firm, but there was a hint of vulnerability in his touch. You wanted to blame the alcohol for making you so mean, but it was really the floodgate of feelings that’d been repressed for far too long.

You huffed, “Joel, I-” he interrupted you by tearing his eyes away from yours and releasing your wrists.

The pang in your chest was unmistakable. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. This was the part where everything was supposed to come out, to confront the truth of your feelings, but instead he was backing away, retreating and shutting down that conversation before it could even begin. You said his name again, but he simply raised his hand and continued to walk out of the kitchen.

Fuck– No. No, no, no. Your dejection passed and your temper flared up again. No, he doesn’t get to just walk away.

“Joel!” You called out, your voice tinged with frustration and desperation, “Joel, stop!”

But he didn’t. He kept walking, putting more distance between you and fueling your determination. Your heart was pounding as you quickened your pace to catch up with him upstairs, his arm just out of reach before he slammed his door in your face. He didn’t respond when you pounded on the door and demanded for him to come out, your temper mixing between anger and hurt.

“Screw you, Joel! I’m so tired of this– whatever the fuck this is!” Your voice trembled, feeling a punch to the gut when you remembered an obnoxiously accurate point he’d made to you once before. “I-I fucked up– but people do things when they’re scared!”

Your eyes stung, and it hadn’t dawned on you yet that you were potentially jeopardizing everything by blabbering off, but you couldn’t stop now.

“I can’t- Fuck-” a ruined sigh forced itself out your lungs, your thoughts moving too fast for you to comprehend, “If you’re gonna break my heart, do it now, because I can’t-”

You didn’t know when he’d opened the door and stepped out, but you stopped your rambling as soon as you saw him. The silence fell heavy, the only sound being his boots stepping towards you until his chest was nearly touching yours and his breath fanned over your skin. Your eyes darted around his face, from his eyes, to his nose, lips, beard, and back to his eyes again. Just the slightest inch forward and you’d be touching him, the fact making you shiver and fiercely pulse between your thighs.

Your heart ached when you saw the raw emotion in his eyes– an amalgamation of sadness, yearning, lust, and tenderness– all things you grew to be familiar with when you found yourselves running in circles. You couldn’t stand the way his eyes flickered between yours and how his warm hands were slowly reaching up to cup your face. And how you could now feel his chest pressed against yours. And how his lips parted. And that fucking look on his face.

“Joel,” you quavered, “don’t..”

But he knew.

A soft, broken breath escaped you as it was all suddenly becoming too real, reaching the point of no return.

“Don’t look at me like that unless you mean it.”

His lips crashed into yours.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fic #tlou #the last of us #tlou fanfiction #annasmasterlist #annawrites

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jazz-bazz · 3 months

Text

a fluffy raindrop inspired by my first synthesis step that didn't work because of the same reason it doesn't work for rain... the difference being i didn't get a picnic under the stars... also instead of getting a day off, i skipped half a lab day to get to band practice for an event... the luck these ghouls get *sigh* im jealous...

creds to @sexy-sea-basss for the lake picnic idea! 🖤

didnt plan on posting this today but after the heartbreak that is @alwaysjustmina ‘s whispers (love it so much) 😭… @webbyghoul and i figured we’d need raindrop fluff asap

The Day Off

The week can’t get any longer if you ask Rain, and it’s only Tuesday. He’s been working on just this one step since Wednesday last week, which is already ridiculous, especially the 3 days spent trying to isolate a product, or at least something. They’ve got to have something because on Friday Mist will ask for a weekly report. They’ve been losing sleep and surviving on energy drinks and protein bars, though sometimes Dew would stop by with ‘healthier’ snacks.

The problem is not with synthesizing the substance, he thinks, although they wouldn’t know, they haven’t taken any spectrums yet, because the substance just don’t want to be isolated from the rest of the shit. They’ve tried all sorts of of solvents, n-Pentane, ethylacetate, diethylether, in various ratios, but nothing is working. The fucking polar nitro group they have in their substance is making it harder to isolate, even if they manage to do it the yield wouldn’t be good. They could change the starting material and methods, but they need to talk about it with Mist first when she’s back from her work trip, probably sometime later today. But damn if he isn’t going to wear themself out by trying their hardest.

They’ve talked with Mountain and Swiss too, asking for ideas and opinions, even chatted a bit with Cumulus. But none of their suggestions work, it got closer with the ratio of solvents that Cumulus suggested, they could already see a bit of difference in the TLC he did earlier, but it’s still not separated enough for the column chromatography. Now they’re just sitting at his desk fidgeting with Bap, sometimes bringing it close to his nose so they get Dew’s calming scent.

“I have returned from the hell known as human science convention with old men who has no respect for women!” Rain suddenly hears, Mist is back, there may be a light at the end of the tunnel.

“Mist! Hi, how was the trip?” Rain asks, to be nice and even though he’s dying to ask her about their problem.

“Rainy, darling! It was annoying, they keep not believing me when I said I’m a participant in the convention and not the catering staff, ughhh. But enough about me, you seem down, what happened?” Mist sees the tired look in Rain’s face, the dark circles under their eyes, and the slump in his shoulder, not to mention the way they were staring into space clutching that crochet plushie of his when she first came in.

“Oh, Mist, nothing is working, I’ve been trying to isolate my product but none of the solvent ratios I tried worked, I even asked Cumulus and Mountain and Swiss and they have no idea either. Could I maybe get permission to redo the reaction with a different starting material? I can even propose to you a new reaction mechanism to get the same result right now, I have thought a lot about this, it just doesn’t work with this one. Or even if it works, the yield would be bad, and-“

“Rain, Rain, stop for a second. Take a deep breath, come on,” Mist smiles softly at her protegee, “Okay. You’re good?”

“Yeah, maybe, I don’t know,” Rain sighs.

“Here’s my decision, you are hereby dismissed for today, and also tomorrow, go get some rest, spend a day in bed, go swim, whatever, you’re far too stressed. You can show me your idea on Thursday. And because I know you’re just gonna stay here and stress some more. I will get Omega to let Dew off early and distract you, maybe you’ll even get your first kiss from him today. Got it?”

“Wait, what? No I can do it, we can discuss it now and because it needs to be cooked overnight I can do it today and tomorrow start with the work up, I’m fine Mist,” Rain pointedly ignores the last part.

“No, you’re not. You need sleep and to eat more than coffee and candy bars. My decision is final, you are hereby banned from this room and the labs for the rest of today and tomorrow, go pack your things,” Mist says while gently pushing on Rain’s shoulders to get them to their desk and start packing up, “Meanwhile I’m going to call Omega. Your things better be already in your bag when I get back.”

With a sigh (so much sighing today) Rain starts to save all the documents on his computer and shut it down, stuffing their journal and tablet and the rest of his things into their rucksack. And then he waits for Mist.

“Your knight in shining armour will be coming in about 15 minutes!”

“More like in hoodies and ripped jeans,” Rain mutters.

“Aw don’t be so glum, Rainy darling, your project will be fine if you take a 1.5 days rest, you know. Then Thursday you can start with a fresh brain!”

“I guess… Thank you Mist, best boss I could’ve ask for,” Rain goes to hug their mentor.

“Hello my dearest loveliest bestest friend ever in the whole wide world both here and below! Thank you for the day off because Aether’s been getting all up my business today, and I am half a second away from burning his journals,” Dew announces as he barges into the office, “I have plans that involve a lake and snacks from the diner with no chemical reactions in the vicinity. Up and at it, bestie!”

“Fucking hell Dew, how can you still have this much energy?”

“By sleeping on time and eating enough food to sustain myself through a day full of quantum equations, which you should’ve done by the way, would be wonderful on those eyebags.”

“Oh fuck off.”

“Nah, you’re stuck with me because we are besties and you can’t live without me, literally, because we are roommates. Let’s go!”

They stop by the diner to get some food to go, and then their apartment to drop of their things and freshen up, Dew also gets his picnic blankets and a couple of towels and change of clothes for when Rain inevitably jumps into the lake and splash him.

There’s this one secluded lake on the edge of the town that Dew found on accident. Usually they just go to the lake at the Abbey complex, but he feels like this one would be perfect for Rain to wind down without anyone watching, the way to this lake is a bit complicated and requires a bit of hiking, which neither of them minds, they both love to be in nature no matter what.

After parking the car and hiking, Dew asks Rain to put on a blindfold just before the bend that would reveal the lake. It’s because he wants to set up the picnic blankets with food and tea lights he brings for a romantic date under the stars, as it was already getting dark, they got to watch the sunset at the parking lot.

Rain agrees with a bit of grumbling, and with Dew’s guidance they walk together to the edge of the trail heading to the beach, where Dew then leaves Rain for a bit while he sets things up. He talks with Rain the whole time, to reassure Rain that he’s still there, just random chatters mostly, like Aether being annoying that day, the plans the pack has this weekend to go to Zenith because it’s bingo night, the last hockey game they watched, and whatnots. Rain has to admit, it is relaxing to just chill like this, even without being able to see anything, he can already feel the stress seeping out from their body.

“Okay, Rainy, you can take off the blindfold.”

When they take it off, the first thing they see was Dew holding a bouquet of lilies (who knows where he got it from) with a big smile on his face, and then behind him the picnic he set up, complete with a background of the lake and the starry night sky.

They spend a few hours there, snacking on the food while talking, kissing a bit (more like a lot) because there’s no one here and they can forget their running joke of not dating (they are both very serious about keeping up with it), taking a dip in the lake (Rain), and admiring the view of an unglamoured water ghoul in their natural habitat (Dew) before being pulled in by said water ghoul for underwater kisses (best thing ever if you ask Dew).

Then at about midnight they both get out of the water and dry up using the towels Dew had packed, and after finishing the snacks they pack up the blanket and tea lights and knick knacks they bring.

“Thanks for today, Dew,” Rain smiles while leaning in for a kiss, which lasts awhile, before they both pull back and rest their foreheads against the other’s.

“Anything for you, baby,” Dew smiles back, “Now, you ready to go home? We need to get some sleep, I know you have tomorrow off but I still need to come in after lunch for a bit. And you are not allowed to come with me, in fact I am ordering you to stay away from campus, go sleep in, swim, read, whatever, as long as it’s outside of a 5 km radius of the campus. Got it?”

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” Rain smirks, ”Let’s go, I need cuddles in my bed with you.”

#bex keysmash #ghost fics #lab coat au #rain ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #mist ghoulette #raindrop

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wrenreid · 1 year

Text

Off Limits

contents: angst, grieving, alcohol consumption

Part Twenty

I finally feel a little more normal after the night of wallowing in my sorrows. My emotions are still wonky and yesterday is still on my mind, but at least I feel better.

Spencer texted me when he got up this morning, but I haven’t responded. I’m not entirely in the mood to talk to anyone yet.

Even after (mostly) sleeping through the night, I can’t shake the feeling that he’s holding back because of me. That I’m the problem. That’s how it’s always been, hasn’t it? Guys didn’t want to date me because I’m a virgin. Or if they did it wasn’t because of my personality or who I am; it was because I’m a task, something to do then check off a list. Maybe Spencer thinks I’m not even good enough for the list.

I run a hand through my dark hair, sighing softly. I’m overthinking. I’m always overthinking. I can’t just assume something based off of one or two incidents. Maybe he just truly wants to take things slow because he’s not like the guys I’ve known before. I can’t let my own insecurities and self deprecating mind get in the way of something that could actually be good. I need the optimism I had right as we decided to do whatever this relationship is back.

On my way downstairs, I shoot Spencer a good morning response. Dad is currently tightening his tie and grabbing his brief case, which means he has to go into work. They both do.

There shouldn’t be a case today, but they’ll both be busy for the majority of the day, and Jack is currently having a play date with one of his friends until after noon. Time alone.

I decide to spend my time alone binge watching an old favorite tv show from my high school years and finishing up this week’s assignments. It’s Friday, and I only have two classes today. I get my work done pretty fast then start actually paying attention to the tv screen.

CeCe calls me when I’m a solid six episodes into the show. I press pause and pick up the phone, putting her on speaker. We talk for a bit, but I decide against telling her about what happened with me and Spencer.

It’s not that I don’t want to tell her, but I don’t think this is something she needs to know. Or maybe it’s something I don’t want anyone to know. How to I put into words that my whatever he is doesn’t want to sleep with me?

A very tired Jack is dropped off around 1pm. He looks exhausted. The kid really knows how to play until he drops.

I tuck him in for a nap then head back downstairs to grab a snack and continue binge watching. The rest of the weekend consists of family time, binge watching tv, and lazily laying around the apartment.

I miss college life. I miss parties and friends. I’m glad to be home with my family, but I miss the freedom. The life I had when I was in New York. When my mom was still alive.

“How’s your weekend been?” Spencer asks when I go over to his house Sunday evening. He’s probably leaving for a case tomorrow morning, so he wanted to see me before he left.

We haven’t texted much since Thursday night when he rejected me. God, I sound pathetic, but it’s still on my mind.

“It’s been alright. Very lazy,” I answer, only half mentally here. My mind isn’t quite in his apartment. It’s not quite anywhere.

“Are you okay?” His hand touches my knee gently as his soft words reach my ears. I almost flinch, just thinking about how it’s weird to be touched by him when he quite clearly isn’t interested in that.

I nod, half assed. “Yeah.”

“Jade.”

I’m finally snapped out of my distant, mopey daze when his hand reaches under my chin and forces me to look at him. My brown eyes meet his.

“I’m sorry,” I say with a soft sigh. “Things have just been weird.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Spencer asks, his eyes softening and his hand releasing my face.

I shake my head. Then nod. Then shrug. “It’s just… it’s been weird at home. And being at home. I’m craving for things to be the same, but they never will be again. A part of me still thinks that my mom’s death was just some fucked up dream. That I’ll see her again and she’ll tell me none of it was real. That it was just a nightmare.”

Spencer’s eyes flick down to the floor. I know he hates situations like this. Sad. Awkward. He doesn’t know what to say. I hate putting people in this situation. There isn’t a right thing to say. Nothing is going to repair the hole in my chest. Nothing is going to bring my mom back.

“I’m so sorry, Jade,” he says, his words soft and breathy.

I hate apologies. They just make me feel pitied.

“Don’t be,” I say, attempting to swallow down the lump in my throat.

He nods in understanding. “What can I do to make you feel better in this moment?”

“Be normal,” I say then laugh softly, realizing how it sounded. “I mean, just give me a normal night.”

“So no sacrificial rituals? Well, that defeats my plans,” Spencer jokes.

I shake my head but let out another soft laugh. He may be a dork, but I like it.

Spencer pulls me into him for a quick kiss. I smile up at him faintly.

What I really need right now is a distraction. A distraction from all of the shit weighing me down right now. I need him. Him to touch me. To tell me I’m pretty and make me feel good.

But I can’t ask. Not when he said what he said. He doesn’t want to have sex with me. For whatever reasons he’s holding back, I have to respect his wishes. I owe him that. And perhaps using him as a distraction isn’t a good idea anyway. I’m not sure how good it would make me feel after the matter.

My head finds its place on his shoulder as he turns on the tv. We watch whatever comes on, neither of us wanting to give our attention to a movie that we’d actually have to follow along with.

Spencer orders takeout, and we eat on his couch, talking about whatever in between bites. We don’t touch. Not in the way we have been. It’s not a bad thing really, but it just feels weird.

The next couple weeks go on per-usual. I do school work, miss my best friend, distract myself with any form of media that will clog my brain, and wait for Spencer to get home from cases or work so I can see him.

“I’m beginning to think you’re hiding something from me,” my dad says from his place on the couch. He’s reading. Something he hasn’t done too often in a long time.

I turn around to face him with a laugh. “Why?”

He shrugs, playfully, but not quite joking. “You’ve been leaving a lot. Do you have a secret family I don’t know about?”

“Ha. Ha,” I roll my eyes at his lazy attempt at a joke. “I’m just meeting up with some friends. Since CeCe’s in New York, and I’m not anymore, I’ve had to reconnect with old friends. You should be glad I’m not wallowing around the house.”

I didn’t mean it as a jab at him, but he takes it as one. He has every reason to wallow, even if he tries his best to hide it.

My dad nods, shooting me a faint smile. “Have fun. Be safe.”

I grab my bag and give him a thumbs up. “Will do.”

I hate lying to him. Especially since everything that’s happened. I was never a sneaky kid. I hardly ever disobeyed my parents.

But being honest with my father would cause a lot of drama none of us can handle right now. So he’s not in the know. And I’ll just have to get used to the knots in my stomach that form with every lie.

After walking into Spencer’s apartment, I plop down on his couch, laying my head in his lap.

“Hello to you too,” he laughs softly, looking down at me.

Things have finally gone back to normal between us. Or at least I think they have. We haven’t talked about what happened two weeks ago, and I’m very glad about that. I don’t want the awkwardness again. I like what we have right now.

We don’t take things too far. When we kiss or touch, we stay at a comfortable region for us both. We don’t try to venture out into the grey area.

“Hi,” I grin up at him.

His hands play with my hair absentmindedly, twirling some strands around his fingers. “How was your week?”

“Not too bad. It’s getting closer and closer to graduation. I’m almost officially not an undergrad student anymore.”

“They grow up so fast,” Spencer says playfully.

“Spencer?”

“Yeah?” He asks, looking down into my eyes.

“Do you feel weird lying about this? About us?”

Spencer’s lips press together for a brief moment. “I haven’t really had to lie.”

“Right,” I nod, sitting up. I situate myself to where I’m facing him, my legs crossed in a pretzel.

“Do you?”

“Kind of,” I admit. “I mean, I know I’m an adult and I don’t owe my dad any explanations, but he’s still my dad. He worries, and I think he’s catching on that I’m doing something.”

Even though technically we aren’t doing anything. Not that at least.

Spencer nods, his eyebrows pinching together. “Do you think he knows about us?”

I shake my head. “No. I don’t even think that would cross his mind. I just… I don’t know. I want things to be normal. My life has been too unnormal.”

“That’s not a word,” he says with a slight smile.

“Not the point,” I glare.

“Sorry. What would be normal for us to do?” Spencer asks, his head tilting as he looks at me.

I run a hand though my hair with a sigh. I think for a moment. I know what I need right now. “We could go to a totally normal college party?”

I look at him hopefully, but he’s already scowling. “I don’t know about that one, J.”

“C’mon, Spence. I’m 21. A party is the most normal thing I could do right now,” I tell him.

He sighs. He’s been defeated, and he knows it. “Fine. We can go to a party. And we can drink and dance, and whatever else you want to do.”

“Really?” My eyes light up.

“Mhm,” Spencer nods. “Under one condition.”

“Anything.”

“We’re not playing darts.”

A laugh takes ahold of me for a second. “Awh did I bruise your ego last time?”

“Lil bit,” he says with a grin, pinching his pointer finger and thumb together.

I roll my eyes and lean into him for a quick kiss. When I pull away, he’s still smiling. It makes me weak in a way I can’t explain.

“I’m sure you already know someone who’s throwing a party,” he says.

“It’s Saturday night. Of course I do.”

I hop up to my feet and slip my high tops back on. My outfit is already party acceptable: ripped baggy jeans, a cute top, and converse.

Spencer’s wearing too casual clothes (which I never expected to see him in in a million years), so I drag him into his room by his wrist.

I have him sit at the edge of the bed while I find clothes for him to wear.

“I’m not a Ken doll, Jade,” he says but I turn around and press my finger to his lips.

“Shh. You are one tonight.”

“That’s such a weird thing to say,” Spencer laughs softly.

I flash him a grin before finding a cream-colored sweater and dark jeans for him to wear. Usually, he’s in dress pants, but these jeans are almost black, so they’re still nice. Not too out of his comfort zone.

I turn around so he can change, not wanting to invade his privacy since we haven’t gotten to that part of our relationship yet.

When I turn to face him again, he’s pulling down the sweater. “Not too shabby, Dr. Reid. You look hot.”

A blush creeps up onto his cheeks. “Thank you. Can we go before I change my mind and beg you to let us stay?”

We head down to the parking lot, and I find the address for one of my friend’s friend’s parties. Instead of taking his car, we get an uber. I know he doesn’t plan to get wasted or anything, but he doesn’t want to drive even after just one or two drinks.

Spencer grabs my hand as we walk up to the front door. The host greets us and asks who I am. I tell him I’m friend with Preston, and that triggers his memory of me. It comes in handy knowing people.

Jade leads me into the house, and we immediately head for the kitchen to grab a drink. I need it if I’m going to be out with all of these strangers for most of the night.

“Try to have fun, okay?” She asks, shooting me a look.

I must’ve had the words “I already want to leave” written across my forehead. I hold up my hands in defense. “Yes ma’am.”

For the duration of the night, I feel like I’m her lap dog that’s following her around everywhere she goes. My entire college years, I didn’t go to parties, but now I’ve gone to two with Jade. I’m not good at them. I’m way too aware of my surroundings and how many people are sharing cups of beer, and with them so many germs.

She seems like she’s having fun, though, and I owe her that. I can’t even begin to imagine how things have been for her these past few months. Jade deserves something normal, and if this is her definition of normal, I’m glad to tag along.

Eventually, I find myself feeling slightly less awkward and out of place. The few drinks I’ve had are fueling me, and Jade notices me lighten up. She seems pleased.

“Having fun?” She asks, pulling me closer so we can hear each other better.

“I’m trying,” I say honestly, holding her hips.

Jade nods, laughing softly. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” I smile faintly, leaning my forehead onto hers.

We’re dancing right now, and I’m doing my best to ignore all the sounds and chaos around us. It’s just the two of us in my head.

I let her guide our movements in whatever way she wants. My heart is pounding from the dancing, alcohol, and loud music. I’m a little dizzy, but I don’t want to stop holding her. Being this close is the part I actually enjoy about these parties.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She laughs, practically yelling at me involuntarily.

“Because you’re beautiful,” I say honestly.

Jade blushes, her lips forming into a soft smile. “Shut up.”

Instead of arguing with her, I kiss her. She tastes like fruity alcohol and vodka shots. She’s had a lot more to drink than I have, but she’s not throwing up drunk, so that’s good. My hands hold her hips protectively, keeping her against me.

Her fingers play with the hair on the nape of my neck, causing a soft sound of delight to release from my mouth and into hers. I don’t know if it’s the alcohol or her irresistibility, but I’m craving her right now. I want to touch her in ways I haven’t yet. In ways I’ve been refraining from doing for what feels like ages.

We kiss for a while, it’s sloppy and heated, but I don’t mind one bit. I love it.

Her lips draw away from mine, and a wine releases from my mouth. I look down at her. She looks just as hungry for me as I am for her. If that’s even possible.

Jade takes my hand. She’s headed for the stairs, pushing past the crowd of people. It takes my brain a moment to register what’s happening.

I stop in my tracks, shaking my head.

“Come on, Spence. Let’s go upstairs,” I whisper-yell, taking his hand and stumbling while I try to pull him up with me.

His entire demeanor has changed.

“Jade, you’re drunk,” he says, tugging on my arm, causing me to face him. I almost fall, so I steady myself with my hands on his shoulders.

“So are you.”

“One of us is clearly more sober. Let’s get you home,” Spencer suggests.

“No, my dad’s home. We should do it here.”

“We’re not…” His frustrated voice trails off.

I can feel the tears swelling in my eyes, and it burns. “Why won’t you fuck me?” The words spill out of me before I have time to think.

“Jade.”

The way he’s says my name… god, I need him to stop. He sounds sympathetic. Like I’m some charity case for him.

“I don’t understand what I’ve done, Spencer,” I tell him, my heart slamming against my chest.

“You haven’t done anything,” he says gently.

“Then what is it? What’s wrong with me?”

“Jade,” Spencer sighs. “Let’s just leave.”

“You leave,” I demand.

“What?” He blinks, looking down at me worriedly.

“I’m staying. If you want to leave, then go.”

His hand meets my elbow, gently trying to get me to leave with him. But I’m not so easily convinced.

“Just get away from me,” I yell, not meaning to be so harsh. I let out a breath. “Just go.”

The pained look on Spencer’s face makes it easier for the tears to spill from my eyes. He nods, then turns around and starts walking away from me.

I wipe my cheek free of tears and occupy myself with something other than watching him leave.

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @shakespear-picaso-lovechild @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @jazzerbelle14 @kylakins88 @f-me-reid <3

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steven1123x · 28 days

Text

A Half-Gem Boy’s Adventures In The Creek: Chapter three.

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They were all at a restaurant called Grand Lux Cafe. It was a restaurant by the mall in Herketon, Steven was having that sleepover with his friends the next day, but Greg decided to go to a restaurant with his son and his friends.

Steven knew what he wanted, so he was playing Angry Birds as they waited. Craig was talking with JP and Kelsey, and Connie looked at Steven.

“Hey, Steven?” Connie asked

“What’s up?” he looks up at her, pausing his game.

Connie wasn’t sure if he would want to go back. but it was worth a try, he can see Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl again. and probably Craig, Kelsey, and JP can come to Deleware too. She looked at him and said it.

“Do you guys want to come to Deleware with me for a day, maybe Steven could show you guys around Beach City and hang out, Steven. Sadie and Jenny keep asking me when you're coming back.”

Steven sighed and pulled out his phone and texted them on the Group Chat that Jenny set up for them for hangouts and plans.

Hey guys! Steven started the chat back up, it’s been a while since they’d hung out.

Jenny texted Steven! what’s up, dude?

Buck texted Yo, Steven Quartz, what’s up?

Sour Cream sent a rock-on emoji.

Steven smiled and typed: Hey guys, I’m doing okay. Do you want to come to Maryland maybe this weekend to hang out with my friends in the creek?

Yeah! we want to hang out with you again! we can go to the arcade there, what do you say? Buck texts

Steven smiled and then texted the group; Yeah! only if it’s alright if my new friends come along.

Of course, Steven! any friends of yours are friends of hours! We’ll see you maybe…Next week? Sour Cream can maybe bring his DJ equipment and DJ for you guys! Steven read Jenny’s text

Sour Cream then texted back. I’ll make it happen, bye. Universe, We’ll see you probably…Next Friday?

Steven smiled, he texted a thumbs-up emoji then put his phone on the table. Connie also smiled.

“Well?”

“They said that they will come to Maryland on Friday, I’m so excited!” Steven said. Connie smiled. “I am happy for you, Steven!”

“Thanks, Connie. Maybe you can see them too. I would love to have everyone back together. Wait you didn’t meet them, did you?” he asked

“I don’t think so, I met Jenny Pizza before,” she said. Steven nods. He believed her one hundred percent.

Steven, the Creek kids, and Connie were back at his house, watching a movie, Connie had to go home on Lion but she thanked Greg for letting her stay for a few hours. She hugged Steven, they said their goodbyes and she mounted on Lion as a portal opened up and she went through it.

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The boy was running through the dark forest, he was trying to get away from whoever was chasing him. Steven was alone, Craig, Kelsey JP, and Omar were nowhere in sight.

He ran as fast as he could. The figure was close.

He didn’t dare to look.

But when he heard the voice. It sounded so, familiar.

“Hey, Rose! Where ya going!”

“How did you find me?” Steven asked the figure inched closer, and Steven just saw a pair of orange eyes that were glowing in the dark Creek. The figure didn’t say anything but it inched closer, and closer.

Steven saw Jasper hanging over him, smiling evilly at him as she picked him up by his shirt. Steven was struggling to break free, he tried to summon his bubble but it wasn’t working, his powers were not activating.

Great…the ONLY time that I need my powers they DON’T WORK! Is this how I’m going to go out, by the hands of an insane Gem who has it out for me?

Steven then felt a hand ring around his neck as he was being choked. Steven gasped for air and he was struggling, his legs desperately kicking her body for her to let go, but… there was one problem. She was a gem and he was half of that.

He tried to put his hands on her face to get her to stop, but nothing was working, Jasper just stood there silently, not saying a word but, she had that creepy smile that showed all her teeth, like the Joker’s — but more terrifying.

At least to him. Then she said something.

“Well, well. Rose, how does it feel now?”

“L-let me g-go…” The boy gasped.

Jasper laughed, Steven felt a chill go down his entire body. She lifted his shirt so it exposed his gem, Jasper grabbed it and pulled it out, and Steven felt the pain go through his entire body. It was the worst pain he’d ever experienced in his life.

“Hey, Rose,” she said, Steven struggled to keep his eyes open, but he managed to see her holding the diamond-shaped gem in her right hand.

Without thinking, Jasper squeezed hard on his gem, shattering it. She laughed evilly as she threw Steven into the Creek where his body couldn’t be found.

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Steven jolted awake. He was hyperventilating. The boy lifted his shirt and touched his gem to make sure it was still there. Steven breathed a sigh of relief and pulled the covers off of him, he stepped out of his room and went to his dad’s room.

He walked up to him and poked him in the arm. “Dad…” he whispered.

Greg opened his eyes to see his son. “Steven?”

He knew that something was wrong, he saw tears welling up in his eyes. Greg got up and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Hey, what’s wrong, kiddo?”

“I-I had a nightmare….”

Greg’s heart tightened, he hadn’t had a nightmare since he was seven. He always had the gems to protect him, but they weren’t here.

“About what, buddy?”

“J-Jasper… She was chasing me through the Creek in the middle of the night and… And.” he was breathing heavily. Greg put a hand on his son’s back, rubbing it. Steven’s breathing relaxed a little as he calmed down, but his voice was still shaky.

“S-she… She found me and choked me. and… And…” he clenched his shirt where his gem was then, he leaned on his father’s shoulder. Greg didn’t want him to continue. he got what he was trying to say.

“Oh, Steven…” he hugged his son tightly, Steven rested his chin on his shoulder as the tears kept flowing. Greg hugged him, and Steven started sobbing heavily, he knew that the nightmare he had wasn’t real, but it was scary.

Very scary for him.

Greg didn’t understand gem stuff, but he understood that his son needed comfort right now, that was all that mattered to him. Greg continued to rub his back as he felt him not move, his breathing was steady, Greg looked at him and smiled. Steven was asleep.

Greg set him down on the other side of the bed and he laid down with him, He closed his eyes and went to sleep also.

Steven was in the living room, watching a recorded episode of Regular Show, and his father was making eggs for the both of them, Steven was feeling better after last night. He wanted to go to the Creek today and play with Craig and the others. Steven ate his eggs and went to the creek.

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“You had a nightmare about Jasper?” Craig asked, they were all at the stump. He was with Kelsey, JP, and Omar now at the creek. Steven nods, JP and Omar are listening in.

“Once I had a nightmare of a pack of dogs trying to eat me.”

“This is serious JP, I met her. She knocked me out and put me on a prison ship heading to Homeworld, it was traumatic for me.” Steven said, sitting on the ground and hugging his knees. Craig walks up to him and puts a hand on his shoulder. Steven looked up and hugged him, He wrapped his arms around him in an embrace. He has never seen Steven so afraid before.

Steven looked at the ground, he thought of Jasper finding them and then capturing them. Craig put a hand on his shoulder, Steven looked up at him. “Steven, It’s okay. What if she doesn’t show? What if you're safe here.”

“I… I don’t know… I don’t want to move again, I’m getting adjusted here and I love it here.” Steven said. Craig nods, they all have his back.

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“Thanks, Kit!” he said. opening up his bag of popcorn he got from The Traiding Tree. Steven felt a little bit better about this. But — he still had a bounty on his head for what his mom did, and Lapis and Jasper are still fused at the bottom of the ocean. And he’d seen that, he felt bad for Lapis, but he knew it was for the best to keep Jasper underwater and contained so she wouldn’t escape.

Steven went back to where he usually hung out with The Stump Kids. A boy was there that he’d seen before, Craig was also on a BMX bike that must’ve belonged to the boy, Steven saw the new kid that he’d never met before.

The boy was short and had dark skin, with hair covered by a silver helmet and thick eyebrows. He wears a black shirt with blue long pants and brown shoes.

“Hey, Steven. Meet Cannonball, Cannonball this is Steven Quartz Universe.” he introduced.

Cannonball waved and leaned on the handlebars of his bike. “Hey, Steven. What’s goin’ on?” he asked.

“I’m fine, are you a friend of Craig’s.” Cannonball nodded.

“I heard you moved in three days ago. How do you like it so far?” Cannonball asked. Steven smiled and nodded.

“It’s great here! I love it, everyone’s so friendly here too, and my friends are coming too on Friday to hang out.”

“Cool, Can’t wait to meet your friends, Steven,” he said, Craig smiled. “Hey, Steven. Wanna come with us, I have an extra bike or the Ten Speeds can lend you one,” he said.

“Yeah!” Steven said.

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Steven heard Greg in the living room strumming his acoustic guitar when he walked inside the house. He didn’t hear him come in Steven walked into the living room, and Greg looked up and saw his son.

“Hey, Dad.” he smiled.

“Hey, Schu-Ball, what’s up?” he smiled. Steven sat by him, and Greg placed his guitar down.

“You alright?”

“I-I’m just nervous… What if Jasper comes here?”

Greg smiled softly. “Steven.” he started. “There is no way that she will come here, she’s fused with Lapis. Remember? you told me that yourself.” Steven nods

Steven could still see his gem in Jasper’s hand, and her shattering it. Steven shook his head as if the dream was going to go away. “Steven…” Greg said putting an arm around his son. “It was just a dream… Dreams can’t hurt you… I have bad dreams all the time.”

Steven looked at his dad and smiled, he always knew how to make him feel better. He hugged him, Steven felt his phone buzz and got it out. It was a text from Craig, they were going to have pizza and watch Sonic Underground.

Graig saw the text. “Go, Steven.”

“Thanks, Dad!” he smiled and hugged him, Steven ran out the front and went to his neighbor’s house.

Greg looked at Rose’s portrait again and picked up his guitar. He got up and went to the basement.

He came back with his electric guitar and his amplifier. he sat on the floor again, his back resting on the back of the couch, He connected his amplifier, inhaled deeply, and strummed his guitar, Still looking at the large portrait.

“I close both locks below the window

I close both blinds and turn away

Sometimes solutions aren't so simple

Sometimes goodbye's the only way, oh

And the sun will set for you

The sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day

Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you”

Greg sang the lyrics to the song. His heart tightens with the pain and the loss of his girlfriend, he misses her every single day, but he does have Steven to help him through this.

“In cards and flowers on your window

Your friends all plead for you to stay

Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple

Sometimes goodbye's the only way, oh

And the sun will set for you

The sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day

Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you”

Greg felt tears leave his eyes, but he didn’t care if he’d cried, or if Steven could walk in at any moment. This was the first song he’d listen to when he held Steven in his arms for the first time, he just kept playing and singing the Linkin Park song.

“And the shadow of the day

Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day

Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you”

He stopped strumming and looked up at it again. Greg stood his guitar up on the back of the couch and texted Steven that he could spend the night with Craig if he wanted to.

Steven texted back. Greg smiled, glad that his son was having some fun. He knows Duane but they’d never hung out before. Maybe that’ll be an idea, they can go to a sports bar or something, eat wings, and drink some sodas. And just talk. Greg walked upstairs to his bedroom.

His bedroom is spacious and well-appointed, with a large bed. The bed is made up of two pillows and a throw blanket, giving it a cozy appearance. It is situated in front of a large window, which provides ample natural lighting and a view of the outside world.

The room is furnished with multiple chairs, including two chairs positioned on either side of the bed and another chair placed near the window. The chairs are arranged in a way that creates a comfortable seating area for relaxation or conversation.

There are also two lamps placed on the bedside tables, adding warmth and illumination to the space. Additionally, a television is mounted on the wall, providing entertainment options for the occupants. A potted plant adds a touch of greenery to the room, creating a pleasant ambiance.

Greg plopped on the bed and turned on the TV.

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A\N: Hi guys. I hope you guys like this chapter. I don’t know if Jasper will show up in the fic at all.

But it was just a dream, and maybe Greg was right. It was just a dream and she wouldn’t show up (Besides, she is fused with Lapis in the ocean. so there is NO WAY that she will come for Steven and the others) Well, bye guys. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

#steven universe #comment #like #repost #greg universe #steven universe and craig of the creek #writers on tumblr #writers on ao3

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beansandsprouts · 9 months

Text

Enough

Chapter 4

Dean winchester x fem reader

Chapter 1

Previous chapter

Summary: A case takes you to your hometown where you have the displeasure of running into a very shitty ex boyfriend. Dean doesn't seem to take this too well.

Warnings: cursing, violence, suggestions of domestic violence, suggestions of sexual assault

You were in your room reading a book when Dean knocked on your door and peaked his head in.

"We got a case."

"I'll start packing." You grinned.

You still mostly did cases on your own, but every now and again you and Dean would team up. You enjoyed spending time with him, he was funny and charming, though he could be a tad immature at times. And he was an excellent hunter, you two seemed to read each other's minds, working together seamlessly.

You'd been on the road for half an hour before you asked Dean the details of the case.

"Definitely a werewolf. Three people dead, all missing their hearts."

"Pretty cut and dry. Where exactly are we going?"

"Greer, Arizona."

You felt yourself tense. If you'd known that's where the case was you'd have never agreed to go.

Dean glanced at you, "Whats the deal?"

You bit your lip, it was a small town so there was no way you wouldn't run into people you knew. You could only hope he had moved on.

"That's uh-thats my hometown. So people will recognize me."

"That may make things a little more complicated but we can handle it. You might need a new badge though." He frowned.

"Not to worry, I have one with my real name on it. You never know when you'd need it."

"Smart girl."

You grinned. Dean had gotten more comfortable with you the last few months, hed even started using pet names with you. Itd been a little strange at first, but you didnt mind it. Actually, it seemed they'd all started to accept you as part of the family. It made you feel good, to have people who cared.

The two of you talked for awhile during the drive, you made the mistake of asking about that doctor TV show he loved so much. He went on and on about Dr. Sexy.

Soon enough you'd reached Greer, you looked out the window, familiar sights passing you. The memories were coming back.

Sneaking out into the woods at night with your friends, seeing who'd get scared first. Spending your Friday nights at the diner. You tried to push away the bad memories that kept trying to pop up, but it was hard to forget the things he'd done.

You pulled into the parking lot of one of the local cabin places. The town didn't really have a motel, so you'd have to rent a cabin. Dean approached the man at the front desk and you turned to browse some pamphlets by the front door.

"Checking in?" He asked, offering a smile.

"Ah no, we wanted to ask if there was a cabin we could have for a couple days." Dean answered.

"Oh I'm sorry we don't really do last minute reservations. Maybe try another place?"

You recognized that voice, you turned around.

"Jessie?"

"Holy shit, y/n. Is that really you?"

"Uh yeah. Wow it's been forever."

"No kidding. What? Eight, nine years now?"

"Yeah, how are you?"

"Its been...mixed. Mom's letting me run this place now. But uh, Des, Minnie, and Robin. Well...they were killed."

"Wait the deaths are them? Oh my god. Me and my partner are working that case right now. I had no idea."

"Partner? Case? You a fed now?"

"Yeah. FBI."

"Thats...wild. I knew you'd wind up doing something cool. You weren't suited to staying here in this tiny town."

You smiled, "It's mostly paperwork honestly. But I enjoy it."

"Well it's good to see you. Let me see what I can do for you."

"You're a lifesaver Jay."

"The only one available is a one bedroom. Everything is booked up, you know how it is this time of year."

"That's fine. We'll figure it out. Seriously, thank you."

"No problem. Let me know if I can help with anything. Oh, and Liz is working at the police station now so she'll probably be the one to talk to for the case."

"Sounds good. I'll see you later."

"Sure thing." He said, handing you to the key.

"You know where the Eagle Cabin is right?"

"Yup."

"Good luck then."

"Thanks!"

You and Dean made your way out to the car and back to the cabin, "Guess I'm glad I took you and not one of the others."

You chuckled, "Guess so."

The two of you made your way into the cabin, dropping your things on the kitchen table and then taking out your suits.

"Dibs on the bathroom!" You called behind you as you rushed into the bedroom and then into the bathroom.

"You little minx!" He shouted, but you could hear the grin in his voice.

A few minutes later the two of you were ready to go, on your way to the police station.

"Desmond Jones, Minnie Smith, and Robin Elward. All of them found dead, with their hearts ripped out."

Liz gave you a list of where the crime scenes were, as well as the addresses of the families and of the victims.

You and Dean interviewed the families, as well as Robin's roommate. None of them could really give you anything of use, except for Robin's roommate, Alyssa. She said something about them all falling out with Jessie, but she didn't know why.

"So, you think it's this Jessie guy?" Dean asked.

"I want to say no, he was such a sweet guy when we were younger. Kind and considerate. But being turned changes you, it's entirely possible he's a completely different person now."

You bit your lip, "It's getting late. Why don't we get some food and pick it up in the morning. We can interrogate Jessie and his girlfriend."

"Sounds like a plan."

The two of you returned to your cabin and changed back into your everyday clothes before heading to the diner.

At the diner you were recognized by a few of the staff and other patrons, chatting with them before sitting down at a booth.

"I remember their burgers being pretty good. Their country fried steak ain't too bad either."

"Both sound pretty good. I think I might get-"

"Hey y/n."

The voice made your stomach drop. You looked up, and there he was. Evan. The boyfriend you'd left behind when you'd ditched this town.

"I see you're back. You didn't come see me." His voice was cold, his eyes were blank.

"I uhm-"

"It was pretty bitchy of you to leave like you did."

"My parents had just died-"

"Do I look like I give a shit?"

You swallowed and stared down at your hands in your lap. Suddenly you were back to your 20 year old self, terrified and submissive.

Dean looked between the two of you.

"Who the hell are you?" He asked.

"I could ask you the same question. Are you her new boyfriend? You know she's not worth shit right?"

Dean's jaw clenched, "I think you need to walk away now."

"Or what?" Evan sneered.

Dean stood, getting right up into Evans personal space, "Or I'll take you outside and kick your ass so hard you'll wish you were dead."

Evan stared at him for a second before backing down, he turned to you.

"Watch yourself y/n. Wouldn't want something to happen to you." He hissed.

Once Evan was out the door Dean say back down and looked at you.

"Y/n who the hell was that?"

"My um-he was my boyfriend back when I still lived here."

"What'd he do to you?" His tone was hard.

"Nothing." You answered quickly. Too quickly.

"Bullshit it was nothing. You're shaking and I've never seen you so...scared. You can talk to me sweetheart."

He was right, you were shaking. Your anxiety had risen astronomically since Evan had shown up.

You looked about at Dean, you could see the concern in his eyes as he looked at you. You took a deep breath.

"He um. He got kind of physical when we fought or if I did something wrong. And...and he was um touchy."

"I'll kill him." Dean stood, ready to stalk out the door after Evan. You stood and grabbed his arm.

"No! Don't. Please. It was a long time ago."

"He still did it. And he should be punished."

"Dean." You pleaded, he turned to look at you, "Please."

He frowned, "Fine. But if he shows up again I'm beating his ass."

You sighed in relief as you both sat back down. Soon enough your waitress came by and you ordered.

You were fiddling with your straw wrapper while you waited, carefully avoiding eye contact with the man across from you. You were ashamed and embarrassed. You didn't want him to think of you as weak.

"Hey." Dean cleared his throat.

"I know you can take care of yourself, but if something like that ever happens again you tell me alright? I'll handle it."

You gave him a half-hearted smile and nodded. That seemed to be enough for him as he nodded and sat back in his seat.

When your food came you two were quiet at first, until Dean asked you about that movie you'd tried to get him to watch the other night.

It quickly pulled you out of your funk, telling him about the characters and how well written it was and how much you loved the costumes the actors wore.

Dean was relieved to see you smiling again, to see your eyes lit up. The you he'd seen when Evan approached you was a you he never wanted to see again.

----------

If you want to be tagged when I update let me know!

@ladysparkles78

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction

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chaos-of-the-endless · 3 months

Text

A little fic request for @6-paris-6 that they asked for a million years ago. I'm a bad, bad writer!

I also love how Ian just ~talks until they feel like they've solved the problem. I get it. I really do. We try. lol

The Dragon Will Heal us.

Ians personal phone was ringing... at work. Everyone that they knew from the outside, which was the subtotal of about four people collectively, all knew that ringing them at work was not an option, unless death was on the horizon.

The buzzing was set to only get all the more intense in their pocket the longer it rang for. "Give me.... Three seconds... I've just gotta....." They were typing that last piece of code into Ziggy furiously before hitting the enter key and grabbing for their phone and answering it without even looking

"Someone better be dying." Their dark humor was something only the person on the other end of the phone would get.

"SOS" The persons breathless, pre-hyperventilating voice on the other end said. Oh.

"Give me ten minutes.. Meet me at Give me coffee, kay?" ... The code word they'd both divised for a certain kind of awful day, and the name of the coffee shop just ten minutes from their appartment. Save our soul, and Give me coffee or Give me death.

Having fantastic work colleagues that were also 99% of your friends group as a whole meant that leaving their genius friend Jen in charge of their very own rebooted creation wasn't a worry at all... They also knew she would find a great way to explain to the others why they'd rushed out the door with their coat half on and their bag slung over their shoulder.

"Twelve minutes. Holy shit. Two minutes over the ETA. I'm getting better. It used to be an hour." They laughed as they sat down opposite their partner who already had their hands wrapped around their coffee mug, their eyes puffy and, fuck, yeah, there wasn't much left of that spark they had before leaving on the Friday before New Year.

"I missed spending the new year with someone I love, to spend time with family that don't even respect me enough to..." They trailed off as Ian reached over the table and pealed their hand from that cup to hold in theirs.

"Hey... Honey... It's okay... We're gonna have ~so many more new years together... Maybe the Luna new year is our celebration this year.. y'know, it's the year of the mighty dragon." They smiled softly. All they wanted on this earth was to solve the problems of their loved ones and would do about anything to do exactly that.

"I.... "

"I know..."

"I don't understand.. well, I kinda do, I know it's not easy for people to change their whole vocabulary towards someone they've known their whole life but.. The ones that aren't actively throwing insults at my entire self across the dinner table are doing something even more hurtful... They don't even ~try. I think... I think that might be worse, you know?"

"I do know." While Ian always had a supportive family, they'd encountered more than one friend that they treated as family do exactly the same thing as what they where describing.

"I've tried to condone it to myself as 'I dont need them to validate me, this is a personal journey that isn't based on others' but.... Maybe it is? Does that make what i'm feeling not legitimate in some way?"

"No, not at all. It's a journey that ~is based very much on the language others use towards you. You're not looking for anything remarkable, just... The same respect everyone else takes for granted. To be acknowledged for who you are. It's.... it's so out of our control, it's frustrating at times. You lay your heart and soul out for them to see when you tell them, come out the them.. It's like you show them a part of yourself that you're not even fully done understanding yourself and they just.... Yeah.. long way of saying that I get it." They let out a soft sigh and took a sip from their own coffee, leaving a red lip stain around the papery take out cup. "Come on, lets.... go for a walk. Clear our heads. Bring your coffee." They nodded as they slipped their coat on and moved to take their lovers hand.

Nestling their arm between theirs, they headed in the general direction of.... Nowhere in particular. They took a breath. Their partners silence made them sad, talking was absolutely both their thing.

"All you can do is surround yourself with people that do understand, so those moments you go back and spend time with the ones that don't, you'll eventually have the confidence to polietly correct them. You should come to a quiz night with the team.. Watch us get every square inch of our ass kicked by some sassily named opposition..."

"I know how competeitve you get." They laughed, for the first time that whole week " - but wouldn't it be... Breaching some kinda govenment law for an outsider to be there?"

"You're my plus one. Everyone has one on the team now. It's fashionable to have a partner at home that gets you through the mental and physical torture of losing your best friend to what is, essentially, a time machine. Very en vogue." They smiled brightly over at them and shook their hand, slowing the walk to a stop to turn to face them.

"People like to ignore or judge what they don't understand... Some people come round to the understanding of a blindly new concept that not everyones the same" They rolled their eyes with a chuckle "Some never do. But there will always be a support network here for you... whether we're friends or lovers or... we'll be here. Figuring yourself out is... Far beyond any of the stuff that floats inbetween it all. You're my lover.... You're my best friend first and foremost... That will never change."

#quantum leap 2022 #ian wright #quantum leap #ian wright ql #mason alexander park

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justlookfrightened · 2 years

Text

Father's Day

“You sure you don’t want to come, Bits?”

Jack was standing by the door with his golf bag slung over his shoulder.

“It wouldn’t be any problem to add a third,” Bob said, with the confidence of a man who always got what he wanted from service workers, no matter how many twenties he had to slip them.

“No, y’all go and enjoy your game,” Bitty said. “They’re sure to be busy on Father’s Day. I’m sure they’ll pair you with another twosome.”

“No, they won’t,” Jack said. “I paid for a foursome. Avoids the awkwardness of getting paired up with fans.”

“Or worse, people who aren’t fans,” Bob chimed in.

“Of course you did,” Bitty said, shaking his head. “You go on. I’ll have everything ready for the grill when you get back. I gotta call my dad anyway.”

“If you’re sure,” Jack said. “Say hi for me.”

“Will do!” Bitty said, knowing his enthusiasm sounded forced even as he said it.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Bitty took a deep breath in and blew it out. Bob had been in town since Friday, on his own since Alicia had some board commitments, and the level of togetherness had been a bit … much.

Which was weird, because Bitty loved Bob. Jack was usually more likely to be annoyed by Bob’s big personality and the way his gregariousness drew people to him like a magnet.

This time, Jack and Bob had gone running together (with Bitty) and skated together (with Bitty). They’d gone out for meals and visited a history museum (with Bitty). When Jack had to go to a meeting with Falconers management, Bitty and Bob had made sourdough and whole wheat breads before Bitty showed Bob how to make pitas. Bitty, frankly, was ready for some time alone.

Bitty connected his phone to the Bluetooth speaker, selected a playlist and got to work.

He cleared the brunch dishes from the table, loading plates and flatware into the dishwasher before tackling the pans that were soaking in the sink.

He stripped the sheets from his and Jack’s bed, threw them in the washer, and took a load of T-shirts, socks and underwear from the dryer to fold them.

This was a chore better done without an audience, he thought to himself with some satisfaction. That wasn’t fair, though. Bob wouldn’t mind; he’d probably help.

Once the clothes were put away, Bitty gave both bathrooms a once-over, wiping down surfaces and refreshing towels. He straightened the sofa cushions, shelved the books scattered on the coffee table, watered the plants and ran the vacuum.

There was still at least an hour and a half before Jack and Bob would get back, and Coach and Mama would have been home from church in Madison for hours now. If he was going to call, now would be a good time.

Bitty turned the music off and found the contact for his parents’ landline. It wasn’t like he needed it; it was the first phone number he ever learned, the one that was written inside his jacket when he was in kindergarten and the one he had called for rides home from the rink more times than he could count. But he hardly used it anymore. Now when he talked to Mama, it was almost on her mobile, so they could switch to videochat while they baked together or when he wanted advice for what to do about the ailing tomato plants in the tubs on the terrace.

The phone rang once, twice, three times. Maybe they had gone out? Neither of Bitty’s parents’ fathers were alive anymore – hadn’t been since Bitty was a very small child, and really, his father wasn’t much older than Bitty was now when Grandpa Bittle had passed – but maybe one of the aunts was hosting something for Father’s Day?

But Mama probably would have mentioned it when they talked on Thursday.

Four rings, and then the click of the receiver being picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Coach,” Bitty said. “Er. Daddy. It’s me. I called to say happy Father’s Day.”

“Thanks, Junior,” his father said. “It’s nice of you to call. I got your card, too. Do you want to talk to your mother?”

Bitty bit back the response that formed in his mouth, the “Why don’t you think I want to talk to you?” Or maybe it was, “Why don’t you ever want to talk to me?”

“Not just yet,” Bitty said. “I called to talk to you. Are you having a good day?” “I suppose,” Coach said, like it might be a trick question. “It’s hot, so I’m sitting here in the den watching the Braves. I cut the grass yesterday, in the morning, before the heat got too bad. And of course it rained in the afternoon. Probably not so hot up north.”

The weather?

“No, it’s not,” Bitty said. “It’s actually a beautiful day today. Jack went out to play golf with his dad. He said to say hi.”

“He’s doing all right?” Coach asked. “Not too down about not making the final this year?”

“He’s good,” Bitty said. “He’d rather be playing – of course – but they had a good season, and he could use the downtime.”

Silence.

“So, how’re the Braves doing?” Bitty asked, desperate for a new topic.

“Winning today,” Coach said. “But there’s still time for them to blow it. Your mother just came in from the garden, let me get her. Suzanne! Junior’s on the phone.”

His mother picked up the phone in the kitchen and his father hung up the phone in the den, and Bitty asked, “Everything okay down there? It’s hard to get much out of Coach.”

“You know he’s not big on talking on the phone,” Mama said. “But he does miss you. Your coming for the Fourth of July, right? You and Jack both?

“Yes, ma’am,” Bitty said.

“What did you settle on to make for dinner?” she asked.

“We’re just going to grill some kebabs,” Bitty said. “Easier to get meat and veggies in that way. And I made some pitas with Bob the other day. But I should get going – I wanted to get a pie in the oven before they get back from their golf game.”

“Alright, then,” Mama said. “Say hello to Bob for me, and to that handsome man of yours. I love you, Dicky, and your father does, too.”

“Love you too, Mama,” Bitty said, and ended the call. Then he started putting together dough for a pie crust, to make what he told his mother true.

By the time Jack and Bob came back, sweaty and tired and a little flushed with the sun, the pie was baking and the kebabs were marinating. The condo was as clean as it ever got, and Bitty was clean in a fresh polo shirt and pressed shorts.

Jack glanced around, waited for his father to head to the guest room to freshen up, and said, “Everything go okay?”

“Great,” Bitty said. “We managed to talk for five whole minutes before he got Mama on the phone.”

“That must be some kind of record,” Jack deadpanned.

“You know, I think it might be,” Bitty said.

Just then, his phone dinged in his pocket. It was a text from Coach, who hardly ever used his mobile when he was at home.

Braves won.

And if I forgot to say it, I love you, son.

Or read it on AO3

#zimbits #omgcheckplease #omg check please #my fic

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cocrante · 4 months

Text

I Start Over With You

[SOLANGELO FANFIC]

summary: After the great battle against the forces of Gaea, Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter had formed a long-lasting alliance. Everything had gone well, and everyone was ready to start anew. This included Nico, who, after confessing his feelings to Percy, was prepared to open a new chapter in his life—perhaps the happiest one the Fates had ever written.

note: the chapters will be updated every Wednesday. If you want to read upcoming chapters of the fanfiction in advance, I invite you to follow me on Patreon. Subscribing is not necessary, these chapters will be added for free on the platform on Mondays and Fridays. Following me there is just a kind and free gesture to support my work c:

Reblogs are highly appreciated c:

[CHAPTER 3]

AT FIVE O'CLOCK, Nico arrived at the bay and besides some of the other campers, Will hadn't arrived yet.

He sighed. His head was full of a thousand questions and insecurities. All day he had been asking himself if accepting a date with a son of Apollo was really the right thing to do. "You can always leave" a little voice whispered in his head when he was already close to the beach. That thought brought back all those times when he had run away, choosing to distance himself from the problems of life, fleeing from anything out of fear of being abandoned again. He bent down to pick up a smooth stone, passed it a couple of times between his hands, and made it skip on his palm a few times. He bent his knees a little and with a sharp flick of his wrist, he threw it at the waves, which calmly died at the shore. The pebble had made four jumps before being swallowed by the water, and as soon as it disappeared, Nico bent down to pick up more, to pass the time and distract those annoying butterflies in his stomach.

He bounced two more well-polished pebbles against the waves, and as he prepared to throw a third, a noise behind him brought him back to the real world, causing him to drop the stone he had in his hands. "I thought you were going to stand me up" Will joked, approaching Nico and picking up the stone he had dropped. "A little longer and I would have left" Nico replied, maybe a little too serious, unable to take his eyes off Will's sky-blue ones. "They held me up. Someone from the fifth house got an arrow in the butt" he said, twirling the white stone between his bronzed and tapered fingers. "You know" he cleared his throat. "I've always wondered how to skip stones" he confided, holding the stone in his hand. Nico raised an eyebrow, finding it absurd that a son of the god of arts didn't know how to make a stone skip on the water. "It's pretty simple" he began, looking for some polished stones on the ground. "First of all, you need stones that are flat enough so that they can slide better on the water's surface" he explained, putting five of the stones he had found in his pocket. "Then you bend your knees a bit, extend your arm, and throw the stone like this" he gave him a quick demonstration, this time making almost five skips. Will watched his every move, trying to understand how to move and consequently imitate him. He tried immediately after Nico's throw, but instead of making at least a couple of jumps, it sank directly underwater. "Close" Nico said, stifling a laugh, giving him another stone, and explaining more closely the position he should take. Will tried again, not wanting to make a fool of himself in front of Nico, and indeed, the second attempt went a little better.

"How did you learn?" Will asked, as soon as he finished throwing the third stone. When Nico was asked that question, his face darkened a bit. "I don't remember" he revealed, tossing a white rock into the water. "I think it was before" he lowered his gaze, as if looking at the source of his problems. It was no secret that Nico did not belong to that time, everyone knew that both he and his sister Bianca had spent a long time at a certain Lotus Hotel. "Don't you have any memories from before?" asked Will, trying to be as delicate as possible. Nico shrugged. "Sometimes there are fragments" he replied with a grimace, letting another white rock slip onto the water's surface. "But I don't know if they are products of my imagination or if they are real" he explained, twisting his lips to the side. "I have blurred memories of the school I went to, the games we played in the courtyard" it was the first time he had talked about it with anyone, and after saying it, he let slip a slight smile that did not go unnoticed by Will. "You can always have new ones" Will suggested, tossing the last rock he had in his hand. Nico snorted, putting his hands in his jeans pockets, rocking on his heels in place. "Maybe, but for now I don't have much nice memories to hold on to" he tried to be self-deprecating, but it didn't work out very well for him. After that sentence, there was a brief moment of silence. Will didn't know exactly what to say, after all, he was just a teenager who often took on problems much bigger than himself, and that, he was sure, was one of those problems. He had only partially become aware of what had happened in Europe, and of what little he knew, they were only poorly informed rumors. "Anyway, I haven't had a chance to thank you yet" Nico said after a while, interrupting the silence he had created, his gaze turned towards Will. "It wasn't even my intention to disappear" he apologized, lowering his gaze feeling guilty. "I know" Will chuckled, turning his attention to the ocean. "Listen—" he cleared his throat. "Do you want to go canoeing?" the boy proposed, turning to look at Nico again, spreading one of his radiant smiles. The son of Hades looked at him uncertainly, raising an eyebrow: he wasn't a big fan of water, he preferred to keep his feet firmly on the ground, but he thought it would be rude to refuse. "Sure, why not" he accepted, trying to see the positive in his offer to spend some time together. At his words, Will was enthusiastic, that day in the infirmary was not a lie, he really cared about getting to know Nico Di Angelo like no one has ever done in that camp.

The two boys took the remaining two hours, before the call of the conch, to talk about simple things, to gossip, and Will was really good at that. The son of Apollo spoke for almost the entire time, leaving the exclamations and questions to Nico, who was not very interested in knowing that Jane had kissed John to make Smith jealous, who couldn't remember what he had done. However, Nico listened politely, and like those days spent in the infirmary, he didn't care about taking part or getting into the thick of the conversation, he simply wanted to spend time with Will, who didn't know exactly how he did it, but when he was around him, he emanated a strange and pleasant warmth. Will's monologue ended at the exact moment the conch sounded, calling the campers to go to the central pavilion.

Both boys climbed up the little hill that separated the field from the beach and together — laughing and joking together, their spirits lifted by the simple pleasure of each other's company — they arrived at the camp mess hall where they parted ways, each going to their own table.

[CONTENTES]

1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 • 10 • 11 • 12 • 13 • 14 • 15 • 16

#🖇️ : fanfiction #i start over with you ☀️☠️#solangelo #will solace #nico di angelo #riordanverse #percy jackson #pjo #pjo fanfiction #camp halfblood

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gurugirl · 2 years

Text

Don't Stand So Close Chapter 13*

Summary: Anna and Starla are best friends, but when Anna meets Starla’s dad, Harry, she can’t deny how attractive he is. Unfortunately, she’s far too young for him and he doesn’t seem to be interested anyway. Then, years down the road, Harry suddenly realizes he likes his daughter’s best friend a little too much, but how could they ever make it work?

AN/Warning: I will have a * by the parts when smut is included. This warning list is comprehensive for all parts, not all contain smut or listed warnings. NSFW, smut, anal play, oral (male and female), 18+ only (as always), angst, major age gap (all consenting adults), slight DDlg, feelings & gooey emotions expressed

Chapter 12*

Chapter 13*

The two new servers (which were hired the first week of December) were amazing. Both were competent and needed little training as they had been servers before. I helped to make their transitions easier, learning the menu, the schedules and what to expect day to day. I really wanted to have them ready to get to work so I could step back and focus on school and Harry.

Harry and I got into a little routine of things. I’d go to see him after a day of school when I didn’t have to work and then once the servers were hired and ready to run the floor themselves things were even easier. I had full weekends opened up now.

The only issue was balancing hanging out with Starla and Harry separately. The first weekend I had free I spent Friday with Harry and Saturday night with Starla. I missed her so much. We went out and had fun but I really wished I could have Harry with us. I knew it wasn’t feasible, given our circumstances but I loved having him around and really wanted to experience going out with him too.

The following weekend I stayed with Harry. Starla had a date with Paul and wound up staying with him the weekend so I didn’t feel too guilty. But the guilt was always there. Having an entire weekend with Harry was magical, though, to say the least. He lived far enough away that us going out shouldn’t be a problem. We weren’t willy-nilly about it but we did feel a little more freedom in being able to go out to dinner, or to a show. Plus, just waking up with him three mornings in a row (yes, I stayed until Monday morning and I did not regret it one bit) had me wishing I could see him every day.

When I signed up for Winter/Spring classes I made sure to take classes that started later in the day on Mondays and ended early on Fridays so I could spend as much time with Harry as possible. With Christmas and New Years coming fast I knew we’d not have as much time together. I’d need to be with my family for Christmas, and I wanted to be with them. I wanted to be with Harry too but the good thing to do was to spend time with my parents who were nothing but amazing to me. So the plan was that Harry would see Starla and spend Christmas Eve with her, then she’d see her mom on Christmas Day. I’d spend all my days my parents and then extended family on December 29th. Then Starla and I were going to Harry’s for New Year’s Eve. Harry was throwing a small party and invited Starla and told her to bring Paul and me too (obviously). He told me the plan before he told Starla so I already knew what she was asking when she told me about Harry’s party. Harry had invited a few of his author friends as well and some other people who were regular friends. He told me that there would maybe be 20 people and half of them would be sleeping over because drinks would be served. His place wasn’t that big, so I was concerned about so many people staying over. His house had two bedrooms, a living room with a pullout couch and two regular sofas, and the loft had another sofa. But that was it for sleeping options, other than the floor. There might be some who had to sleep on the floor. I wondered if Starla would kick me out of her room so Paul could sleep in there with her.

I was nervous for the party but excited to see Harry. Christmas was beautiful and sweet. I got a few little gifts from my parents (over-the-knee socks, a one-year unlimited kindle membership so I could download books to my heart’s content, and new plant for my dorm room) and we ate like madmen.

The day we spent with my aunts and uncles, my cousins and I went to a dispensary to get some weed and edibles before our parents all got together for another round of eating and present opening. I found that being toasted as hell off a 20 mg edible made opening presents and eating way more fun. I drank all the orange juice from my aunt Jenny’s fridge and gobbled as much chips and dip as I could. Then I slept until my dad shook me awake that evening to let me know we were leaving to go back home. Then I slept more once we got home. They asked if I was okay but I just told them all the food really got to me, which wasn’t necessarily a lie. I’d eaten way too much. However, the sleepiness was less from the food and more from the edibles but I didn’t need to go into detail about that.

The next day, I packed up and went to Harry’s. Starla and I had planned to just meet there because she was finishing a project that she was allowed an extension on so she didn’t fail her class (the first she turned in to the teacher was turned away for not being correct – she did the project completely wrong but the teacher was nice enough to give her another chance since it was her final grade). So she would be arriving to Harry’s right before the party would start. Our original plan was to arrive the day before so we could help him set up. I kept to the original plan of arriving the day before, but Starla thought I’d just be getting there a little earlier on the day of the party, not the whole night before. Starla would be bringing Paul with her as well.

I arrived at Harry’s quite early as I’d slept most of the day before (thank you edibles for the best night’s rest a girl could ever dream of). I hadn’t seen him in nearly two weeks at this point. Things were busy with finals and of course the holidays. Plus Harry had a lecture in another town at a university so he was leaving early and getting home very late every day. I had a few edibles and pre-rolled joint with me as well. My older cousin, Martin, told me that having sex while on edibles or high on weed was the best sex ever. I divulged a little to my cousins about Harry, without telling them who he was. Just that I’d met a man who was giving it to me good. I felt so happy to be able to brag about it, finally. And brag I did. So that’s when Martin told me to smoke a little weed or eat an edible and then have sex. I mean, I can’t imagine it feeling any better than it does but I have no problems with experimenting with Harry and he was looking forward to it as well (he said it’s true – being high on canabis and having sex is incredible, because obviously the slut has had sex while high before).

Harry’s book was approved and was in the final stages of editing and rewriting (there were a few parts that needed to be updated) and he was excited to let me read the draft version (which he said he’d send with me after the party before I left to go home). Also, and should come as no surprise, our tests came back negative. We were STD free and finally ditched the condoms for good. Sex with Harry and no condoms was next level. Feeling him cum inside of me and then having him spread me open to watch it drip down was absolutely filthy and I loved it. Sometimes he’d lick it up a little and then spit it into my mouth – not something I ever would have found hot with anyone but Harry. He’s a little tiny bit dominant, but mostly so very sweet and giving.

The moment I walked into his house (he texted me to just enter because he’d be gardening in the back yard) I heard music and felt like I was home. The light that cast through his tall windows and skylights was breath taking. I loved his house. Everything about it. I sat my bags down by the entry and toed off my shoes before walking to the backyard where Harry was wearing athletic shorts and no shirt. He had a hat on his head and he was digging up something in the ground. I cleared my throat and walked over to him as he lifted his head and quickly stood up with the largest smile I’d ever seen. His smile is contagious and so beautiful. He pulled me in for a kiss and squeezed me tight.

“Baby, I missed you!” He kissed me again and then moved back, “Sorry, I’m sweaty. Let me finish this row up here and I’ll be right in. It’ll only take me another five minutes.”

By the time Harry was done I was just finishing making some more coffee for the French press. He entered into the kitchen behind me, wrapping his arms around my front and kissed my neck. I turned around to face him and hug him back. He swayed with me in his arms and moaned into my ear.

We caught up over coffee (my first, Harry’s second) and when we got onto the topic of not needing condoms the mood flipped fast and he fucked me nice and hard on the dining room table. I sat at the edge and he entered me and rubbed at my clit until I was coming and he spilled inside of me. It was fast. Maybe the fastest fuck ever, for us anyway. There was little preamble to it. We were both horny after not seeing one another for almost two weeks. He apologized for the haste and not giving me an orgasm before pushing inside of me but sometimes the whole orgasming-before-he-fucked-me thing was a lot of extra work and time. Not that I didn’t appreciate it or love it. That was the norm, him making me orgasm first before he fucked me, but I enjoyed the quick fucks too. Everything he did was good.

With Harry still inside of me, leaning over me on the table he kissed my face, “Missed you so much, Anna. This is hard, being away from you. Wish you lived here with me.”

The party wouldn’t be until 8pm the next day. We had nearly two whole days to be together before we would have to go back to acting like we weren’t in love. We discussed our strategy and realized mostly we’d just have to wing it and try to act natural.

After we showered (no sex this time) and settled down on one of the couches in his living room he looked at me with eyebrows raised and hopped up off the couch quickly, “I got you something! A Christmas gift!” He ran off into his bedroom as I sat with my mouth open, ready to scold him for getting me something when I hadn’t gotten him anything. He returned in just a few moments and handed me a small box, wrapped in Christmas paper. “What’s this?” I felt embarrassed that I hadn’t gotten him anything at all. He told me not to worry about it but I was already thinking of what I could do to make it up to him.

When I carefully unwrapped the gift and opened the box, there was a little dainty gold necklace in it with a small book charm dangling at the center. The middle of the book had a heart shaped ruby and the little book opened up, like a locket. On the inside was an inscription.

And it will be worth it because I love you.

The quote is from the book Act Your Age Eve Brown by Talia Hibbert. I told Harry I was reading it one summer, I think the summer before last right when it came out. He’d never heard of the book, and of course he hadn’t. It’s an adult romance novel that’s super cute and quirky. It’s not a classic but it’s a very well written book with some great sex scenes sprinkled in. Not something that I would have thought Harry would be into. I told him a little about it but it was left at that. When I see the inscription I immediately know it sounds familiar but it takes me a minute to remember where it’s from. When it dawns on me, and I look up to meet his gaze with tears beginning to settle on my lashes my mouth parts to speak but I need a second. This gift is so thoughtful and so intimate. It’s got me emotional and completely caught off guard. I inspect the beautiful piece of jewelry in my hand and close the book, then open it back up to read it again.

“Harry, this… so you read the book? I love this.” I immediately pull the chain the full way out of the box and open the clasp to put it on and Harry reaches for it to help me. I move my hair out of the way and before Harry drapes the necklace over me he kisses the back of my neck softly in a series of three small kisses.

“Yes. I’ve read every book you’ve suggested. I want to know you and put into my brain what’s been in yours. I wound up really liking the book and when I was getting the necklace for you I wanted to put something inside, a nice quote from a book and I kept coming back to that one. Because I feel like it’s exactly us. I feel like it’s true.” He clasped the necklace together and I turned to look at him, my hand over the tiny book. Harry was a romantic. My Harry. My love.

I shook my head and wiped my lash line before my tears could fall but it was too late. A couple spilled over onto my cheeks. Harry put his hands on my face, thumbs rubbing over my cheeks and then he leaned in and kissed at the tears and then he kissed my nose. “Whatever happens with us is worth it because I do love you, Anna. I’ve never been in love before and I only know that now that I love you.”

He kissed me and I flung my arms around his neck and kissed him back. We stayed in one another’s arms for a while, kissing, nuzzling, breathing in each other.

“God, Harry. I love you so much. It’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten. Thank you so much.”

Harry smiled and rubbed my shoulders, “Glad you like it. Glad you love me.” His dimple deepened in his cheek as his smile widened.

I felt I was floating when I was with Harry. I felt a joy that I’d never experienced before. Harry’s deep gazes, soft touches, calming voice, and simple presence overwhelmed me in the best way.

After our sappy, lovey moment Harry and I went to the market to buy things for the party. We bought flowers, hats, noise makers, and lots of snacks and alcohol. We walked around the small square holding hands to enjoy the warm air. It was a beautiful and sunny day, pretty much like any other day in Southern California. Harry told me who he invited and mentioned that he did not invite Robert, for fear of Robert outing us, which he felt a little bad about but he couldn’t chance it. He said some of his regular mates (i.e. not author friends) were coming and he only invited a few of them but they were all bringing one or two people with them so in total the party would be about twenty people. Not a huge bash. But big enough to require some planning.

After getting back to Harry’s we did some pre-set up, things that we could get out of the way. We mixed the beverages and kept them cool in the fridge, got the cheese balls ready and dipped in nuts, set out glass wear and plates, put up the twinkle lights that Harry loved so much, and tidied up a bit.

The rest of the day was spent reading together and chatting about nothing with bits of commentary on what we were reading in between.

When we went to bed, like any other time we’ve gone to bed together, we first made-love. When I came out of the bathroom after washing my face and brushing and flossing my teeth Harry was on the bed in only his briefs with a book in hand. The sexiest man alive, lying in the bed I was crawling into. When he took note of my presence, he set the book on the table and scooted down the bed and pulled me into him. I happily wrapped my body around his and kissed him with all of my love.

Kissing him was slow and heated. It eventually involved lots of licking and sucking. His scruff tickling my face, but I loved it. When I started to gyrate my hips a little in search of him he lightly moved his hips up and ground into me. We had gone all day without having sex again after our first quick fuck on the table. We had been a bit busy and I think there was a part of us that wanted to just spend time being normal for once. We usually spent our time doing a lot of making-up-for-lost-time fucking. But it felt good to just be. Of course, now I wanted more and from the hard lump under his briefs I’d say he was in the same boat.

“Have you ever sat on anyone’s face. Had your pussy eaten like that?” Harry abruptly stopped kissing me to ask.

I moved my neck back to get a good look at him and nodded, “Once. It was terrible. The guy initiated but then he changed his mind when he didn’t know how to do it in that angle.” I laughed. Harry’s brow furrowed, his small frown lines making their way in between his eyes.

“Sit on my face. Let me show you how good it is.” Harry leaned up so he could position himself and I sat up and watched him scoot down the bed further. I gulped and got up to my knees and hesitated, not sure which way I should climb over him; facing the headboard, or facing his feet. So I paused and Harry looked at me and smirked.

“What, are you shy now? I’ve had my face buried in between those thighs countless times now. Just climb up, baby.” He laughed and I giggled, feeling my nerves bubble up. Sure he’d had his face in between my legs many times, but this was different. I’d be sitting on his face.

“Okay. Um… Like this?” I start to climb up his body, facing toward the headboard and Harry immediately grabs the back of my thighs to help me move over him.

“Exactly. You can hang on to the headboard and just grind yourself over my mouth and nose, okay? I’ll the do the rest.”

I get positioned with my cunt directly over Harry’s face, looking down at him, hoping I don’t suffocate him and then put both hands on the headboard to stabilize myself. It takes me a second to gather my courage for it but before I can lower myself Harry speaks in impatience, “Come on, Anna. I wanna eat that pussy. Give it to me, baby.”

I moaned at his words and slowly lowered myself over him. I wasn’t fully wet just yet, but I knew that it was only a matter of time. Harry grabbed onto my thighs, which were on either side of his head and began kissing at my cunt, keeping his eyes on me. I didn’t move much at first, for fear of hurting him or cutting off his airways but as I became used to the position and Harry’s tongue was working at my center, his nose digging into my clit my body began to take over and I started small motions, dragging my hips up and down over his mouth.

Harry’s hands on my thighs went higher and he held onto the plush round part of my ass to help guide me along. He pushed me down over his face, harder than I would have imagined was comfortable and he groaned into me. It felt, strange, but so good. The harder he made me press onto his face, the better it felt. Eventually I was picking up the speed and using the headboard as leverage. I was getting his face slick and wet and each time his nose pushed into my clit it felt incredible.

I began to moan and angle myself deeper so my clit would be better stimulated with his nose and mouth at each pass. Harry started to move me over his face faster and he began shaking his head side to side to really dig in and I saw stars as soon as he did that.

“Fuck, Harry! That feels so good. Ohhahh…” he moaned in response and continued his assault on my pussy. When he took my clit into his mouth he pressed me down hard over his face and my opening was stimulated by the scruff on his chin. There it was. That was the spot. I pushed myself over him and let him just eat me, sucking on my clit and watching as I soaked him.

It was messy, being eaten out this way. More so than it usually is. In this position, Harry’s ears and hair were wet with my arousal. I lifted myself a little for a break from the way he was going at my clit but Harry pulled me back down over him. I decided to let him take control. It was overwhelming at first but then as he nuzzled into me again I felt the yummy nearing of my orgasm.

I kept myself pressed over him, at the urge of Harry’s own hands on my ass of course, and lightly rocked my hips, but Harry kept his mouth and tongue over my clit. The sounds were pornographic for sure and soon I found my hands in his hair, pushing down over him when the lusty feeling took over my body. Harry seemed to love this and he became more enthusiastic with his tongue.

“Oh god! I’m gonna…” I moaned and couldn’t finish my thoughts as his tongue flicked up and down over my clit in quick strokes. It had my body shaking and I yanked at his hair a little before I felt the sweet orgasm wash over me. When I started to wither into my blissful orgasm I watched as Harry closed his eyes and brought his lips over me fully dragging me over his mouth. My eyes squeezed shut when I could no longer will them to stay open to watch the lascivious sight below me.

The orgasm wasn’t an intense one but it was very good and I had thoroughly drenched Harry’s face. When I’d finally had the ability to open my eyes and sit up from his face I looked down at a happy, grinning, wet Harry face. He moaned and licked his lips and smacked one of my cheeks, causing me to yelp and giggle.

Harry flipped me off of him and he quickly hovered over me, getting my face wet with my own arousal in a searing kiss.

“God I got your whole face wet, Harry! Your hair, oh my god!” I laughed out but Harry didn’t respond at all – he had no care of being a mess from me at all.

“Can I fuck you, baby? I’m so hard for you. Seeing you riding my face was so fucking hot.” He rocked his hips into mine and I could feel how hard he was. I leaned up a little and put my hands into the waistband of his briefs to begin pulling them down but Harry finished the job quickly for me and kicked them away into the room on the floor somewhere.

“Gonna fuck your pussy til your cuming over my hard cock again.” He kissed me and then grabbed at his shaft and painted up and down my wet folds before finally pushing himself inside of me.

I moaned out under him at the feeling of him inside of me again, “Oh god, Harry. I don’t know why I’m always surprised by how big you feel every time. So good…” I began to move my hips in an effort to get him to move his. He got the hint quickly as he began rocking into me, pressing deeper and deeper on each push.

Harry started slowly. Languid, smooth strokes in and out of me. I could feel him so well with the slow pace and it was creating a build up in my tummy that made me buzz all over. We were both moaning and breathing heavy.

Suddenly, Harry leaned back onto his thighs, keeping himself deep inside of me and grabbed my hips, lifting me up toward his so my butt was off the bed and my feet planted. This angle had him deeper and then he began thrusting hard into me. The feeling of his hips, smacking into mine with his cock hitting deep into my walls, moving things around inside of me made me see white spots. I was keening and the only words that could come out were aahhha, and oooohhh. He was grunting at each dip into me and I could feel him twitching inside of me with his own orgasm coming to surface. I watched his face as he watched where we were connected, watched himself slide in and out of me at a hearty speed. Each smack of his hips into mine, sent my body rocking and tits bouncing. I grabbed behind me to stuff a pillow under my head so I could see what he was seeing. And when I was finally angled up enough I saw the filthy view he had. His shiny, thick cock was impaling me quickly and with each time he pulled out my lips were snug around his cock, sucking him in to push back. His pubic hair dark and shiny with my arousal, his abs were flexing with each of his thrusts, and the sound of him pushing in and pulling out filled the room with the noises of our dirty deeds.

“Fuck baby, I need you to come.” Harry huffed out. He slowed down a little to stave off his impending orgasm, wanting me to have another before he came. I put my fingers over my clit and began to vigorously rub in the pattern that always did it for me and fast. That was all it took. Within minutes I was coming around him.

“Fuckkk! Daddy I’m cuming. I’m cumming… yess, yess! YESSS! Yess, fuck yes!” He sped up his pace when he ensured I was coming and with his deep thrusts it increased the feeling of my already bursting orgasm.

Aaahhhahhhhhh, fuuuuufuuuck! Harry moaned out as he came inside of me. Deep pushes into me and then stilling his hips when I’d finished completely as he shot hot stripes of his come inside of me, filling me with his orgasm until it was leaking out around us.

When he pulled out he angled me upward further to take a look and he immediately stuck his fingers inside of me, sinking them in and out, pushing his come back into me. “God you’re so hot. Fuck, Anna.” He leaned down and licked over my sloppy pussy and moaned over me. I was so gone. My chest rising and falling. Pussy fucked out. I looked down at him as he licked over me and giggled.

“What’s funny?” he leaned up and looked at me with a smirk.

“You are ravenous. Seriously. Not complaining, though. But it’s unbelievable how you’re so nasty. Mmmm…” I wriggled a little, my hips still over his thighs as he rubbed over mine.

“I am nasty. But you like it, don’t you? Only nasty for you, though, baby.” His eyes were hooded, he looked sleepy but his cock was still half hard.

“I do like it. I like everything you do, Harry. Love it. Want it all the time from you.”

Harry released my hips and crawled over my body and kissed me, pushing his tongue into my mouth so that I tasted both of our releases on him.

“All the time? Yeah? Still want me now even after you just came twice?” He grabs at my hips and lowers his cock to my tummy.

I nod, “Of course. But you just came so you’re probably good now.”

Harry sat up and took his cock into his hand and stroked it a little then slapped it down over my pussy giving me a hard gaze.

“I did come but just watching my come drip out of your cunt turned me on again. I could fuck you until you’re coming on my fat cock again if you want. Now that I’ve come I can go forever.”

I moaned and writhed under him. Would he really want to have sex right after he’s just come? I always thought that was fake or just in porn.

“I mean, can you? Really?” I give him a genuine look of confusion and he breathes out a laugh.

“Yes. I can.” He strokes his shaft and looks down at himself and I follow his gaze to see he is indeed hard again.

“Can you come again?” I ask, still unsure.

“Mmm… maybe. But it’ll feel good either way. Want me to fuck you again, Anna? Kind of want to see you come on my cock again tonight, selfishly.”

I swallow and the feel of his tip pushing at my entrance has me spreading wide for him and nodding. I watch as he enters me again. I’m super sensitive from my last orgasm so I jump a little when he’s pushed into me fully. But it feels incredible.

He slowly glides in and out of me, letting me get back to where I’m moaning and bucking into him. It happens quickly. It only takes a few minutes of him slipping into and out of me before I’m keening and shaking below him.

Harry doesn’t pick up the pace. He continues his slow thrusts and puts his fingers on my clit. I barely need my clit stimulated after my second orgasm but now that his fingers are slipping over it pressing down in circles it’s got me on the edge.

“Come on my cock, Anna. Come on, baby.” Harry urges me and thrusts sharp and deep but keeps his cadence slow.

“Yes, I’m coming! Oh my god!” My orgasm makes my limbs and all of my body melt into the blankets below. The only part of me that exists is my cunt as it swallows Harry’s cock whole. I lose myself in my orgasm for a bit until my limbs rematerialize.

Finally, my eyes fall open and Harry is wiping me up and kissing along the inside of my thighs as he does so. “Harry, you didn’t come, though.” I arch my neck up to look at him.

Harry pecks the soft part of my inner thigh again and then sits up, “Don’t worry about me, baby. I just want you to feel good. I want to deserve you and make you happy. I’ll do anything for you, Anna. Even if I can’t come again, which I can’t at the moment. I’m spent. But, it felt really good. Love how you feel around me and watching you come is better than me getting off. So, it’s a win win. As long as you are happy then I’m happy.”

Is this man for real? I lift my hand to place on his thigh and squeeze. Yeah, he feels real. I sit up and grab his arms to bring him to me and kiss him hard. When we part lips it’s a loud smacking sound and I am grinning ear to ear.

“You’re like, from a romance novel, Harry. How are you so perfect? And you do deserve me. I want the same. I want to deserve you too and I’ll do anything. Fuck I’m lucky!” I fall back into the blankets on the bed and cover my face in overwhelm.

Harry laughs and starts kissing over my tummy lightly, “I’m lucky. You’re perfect in every way and I’m going to make sure you understand that.” He kisses up toward my breasts and licks over them then pecks lightly across the soft, round mounds, “Fucking perfect, Anna. I worship you. I adore you. How could I not?” He makes his way up my neck and over my jawline and then lands his lips back onto my mouth and smooths his tongue over my mouth.

“Ugh, Harry. Fuck. Are you trying to get me horny again? Not sure I can handle any more but, fuck. Mmmm…” Harry quiets me by smashing his mouth over mine again.

He hums and breathes a laugh out of his nose, “No. Wasn’t my intention. Just wanted to be affectionate with you. I love you so much, Anna. I just want to kiss you, and squeeze you, and lick you all over. Why does that have to be sexual?” He quirks one side of his mouth up in that cocky smile that makes me want to fuck him and slap him all at the same time. I push him a little in banter and laugh at his remark.

“Suuure… Licking me all over doesn’t have anything to do with being sexual. Got it. I’ll be sure to ignore all the usual signs of you trying to get into my pants from now on…” Harry swats at my bottom, the part that is visible from how I’m laying with my legs spread since he’s still in between them on the bed.

“Shush. Let me lick you and love you and expect nothing from you. Okay?” We laugh together.

Harry plops down next to me on the bed and rubs at my cheek with his thumb. We lay together, eyes open and looking at the other, content smiles on our mouths. I place my hand on his chest over his heart and I can feel how fast it’s beating. Harry presses over my hand, pushing harder over his chest so I can feel it. I take his hand that’s rubbing my cheek and press it over my chest, knowing my heart is beating just as fast. Our smiles deepen. Harry’s dimple appears and I see his nostrils flare a little as he shakes his head.

“I’m the happiest man on earth right now, that I can tell you. I can hardly believe you’re all mine and that I get to talk to you every day, I get to make you smile and laugh, I get to see inside your mind because you let me, not to mention that I get to fuck you. How’d I get you? What made you think I was the man you wanted?”

I think for a bit. When was it I first wanted him? Probably from the first time I met him, but at that age I really never thought of it as more than puppy love and then I started to think of him as like a weirdly attractive family member. Not that I imagined him like he was family, but that sort of comfort level he made me feel with him. Then when he took us out on my 18th birthday I saw how he looked at me and it was different. It had me wanting more but of course, he wasn’t having it. My attraction to him only increased and things were awkward between us, for maybe a year after that. But then we got back into that comfortability that we always had but my attraction for him didn’t diminish at all. Then over the next couple of years, until now, I felt so comfortable around him but also insanely attracted to him. It’s like everything was just building from the beginning.

“I don’t know exactly what it was but you made me feel so comfortable with you for as long as I can remember. I think it just all piled up over time, my feelings for you. I’ve always found you attractive but that wasn’t what really got me. I mean, you’re insanely hot, but it’s more to do with our banter, the way we communicate. It makes me feel like we just get each other, ya know?” And that was the truth. It’s all I’ve ever wanted in a partner, and in a friend.

Chapter 14*

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