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#but then i remembered cringe isn't real and i should just do whatever

ourstaturestouchtheskies · 10 months

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Joan of Arc – John Everett Millais // Mosaic of the Archangel Uriel in St. John’s Church – James Powell and Sons of the Whitefriars Foundry // Sancta Lilias – Dante Gabriel Rossetti // Milky Way Upon Giewont – Henryk Szczyglinski // Folio 13v – from the Rabula Gospels // Representation of a Deer’s Antlers – Sándor Szapary de Szapar // Not Strong Enough – boygenius

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pro-sipper · 3 months

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What do proshippers generally believe about shipping real people? Stuff like creator x creator or celebrity x reader?

That it falls under the umbrella of "you should be allowed to write anything you want". Once again, it's not my personal thing. There's no real life pairing I read for, and the whole "blank x reader" is not appealing to me at all.

But I have no problem with people writing that stuff, or knowing it's out there. I saw someone a while back say that it's basically just writing about another character, and I agree with that. No matter how much a creator posts or how open a celebrity seems with their personal life, we're still only seeing a tiny snippet of their lives. We have no clue who they are when the cameras aren't recording because we just don't know them. And whatever someone chooses to write about is mostly stemming from that particular persona that they happen to put on for the world and that's it. It's completely separate from our reality because they're basically just writing about another made up character

The problem I have, and it's what I imagine most proshippers also take issue with, is when people start blurring the lines between fiction and reality. To me, there's a world of difference between posting something on ao3, and speculating on secret relationships in the comments of someone's youtube video. Or between talking about something on tumblr, and tagging the person directly on twitter.

I just don't understand people who condemn rpf and talk about how gross and invasive it is, but think it's funny to tag celebrities on twitter to bring up (what they think is) cringe-worthy fanfic tropes that people have written them into. Or people who print out fanworks to shove into an actor's face at a meet and greet and ask them what they think about it. That's where the lines get crossed, to me.

I think ao3 and tumblr still have an air of mysticism to them. A little secrecy, a little privacy. In the sense that someone in the public eye would have to put in a little work to find this stuff for themselves. They'd have to go to the site and search themselves up to find anything. As opposed to just about anyone in the world being able to force this content in their line of sight with a simple @ on a site like twitter.

So to me the problem isn't that this content exists. The problem is when people don't know how to keep fandom stuff private. Write all the rpf you want but remember at the end of the day these are real people, not your blorbos. You don't know them. It's inappropriate to say these things to them personally (which yes, also includes tagging them on twitter or in the comments of their videos). But it's also inappropriate to run up to them with other people's content just to say "look what these FREAKS wrote about you!!" And I think people either forget or just genuinely don't care about the latter.

#proship #proshippers #pro ship #proshippers please interact #proshipper #proshipping #rpf #real person fiction #asks #anonymous #sip rambles #i know its so much crazier in this day and age than when i was a kid #with social media and stupid stuff like tiktok basically being a requirement of the job it seems #and celebs posting constantly and having a quick way to interact with fans #or content creators whose entire brand exists on social media apps like tiktok #who seem to be posting 24/7 and broadcasting their whole lives #and i know most of those types of creators mostly have younger followers who probably do very easily get sucked into #feeling like they know that person like thats their friend #and i also dont think that type of creator really discourages those feelings bc... they want followers and $$$#but idk just write your fic and read it or dont do either and just leave celebs alone irl please please please

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xxgoblin-dumplingxx · 1 year

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I’m a new fan of ur and I love ur work. but can we have a big argument with a happy cute or “ maybe lil smutty ) ending with either ( Bruce or Jason) plz

"Jason," you hiss, ripping your wrist out of his grip, "I'm not doing this with you."

"Too fucking bad," Jason said, grabbing you and pulling you to him. "It's a chemical imbalance. It's a mental illness. It's not a goddamn death sentence!" He shook you gently and gripped your shoulders.

"Isn't it?" you yell, pushing against his chest uselessly. "You saw what it did to my fucking mom-"

"Pockets," he said, swallowing hard. "Baby. Honey. Don't do this. I won't let you do this."

"Jay you deserve someone... not like this. Not like-"

Lips crush against yours. He can't let you finish that sentence. He can't let you do this to yourself in some misguided attempt to protect him. "I died, remember?" he said, brushing hair out of your eyes and wiping tears off your cheeks with his thumbs. "And the first word I said when I woke up was your fucking name."

"Jason-"

"You've never run away from anything your whole life, Pockets. Don't start here. Not with me." When you crumbled and started to cry, the anger giving way to fear, all he can do is hold you. "I'm not going anywhere, punk. We're a package deal, remember?"

"You didn't sign up for this," you whimper. "This fucking shit show I can't-"

Jason squeezed you tighter and swatted you on the ass, "Baby. I signed up for you," he chuckled. "Whatever that looks like." He tilted your chin up and wiped your nose on his sleeve. "You never gave up on me. I'm not leaving you again, Pockets."

"Promise?"

"Promise," he said, kissing your forehead. "It doesn't have to be a shit show, baby. We just have to figure this out."

"I just feel so out of control and I can't think- I can't focus. Jay I was so scared."

"I know," he said softly. "I should have stayed with you. I shouldn't have let you leave that night. I knew you weren't okay- you weren't making sense but I thought-"

"You thought I was high," you murmur.

Jason cringed, nodding slowly. "I'm sorry, Y/N," he breathed. "I shouldn't have-"

"I don't blame you. I felt high- nothing felt real. Not really and I just couldn't stop. I couldn't slow down."

"We'll figure it out," Jason said, "Just... Let's just take this one day at a time, okay?"

"Okay," you answer, exhaling slowly. "Jay, I love you I just-"

"I love you too," he said, smiling a little. "Let's go to bed, huh? It's past Scruffy's bedtime."

#Jason Todd #Jason Todd x reader #scruffy!verse #ask answered #minors dni

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rongzhi · 2 years

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Hi Wawa! I'm curious about a trend in some of the douyins you've posted. It seems like the "punchline" of a lot of them is boys being romantic with each other (like ending up accidentally holding hands or staring into each other's eyes). Sometimes it seems like the script is supposed to be explicitly queer (like that series with the boss and his employee who have the silent conversations). I'm queer and I really like these douyins because I think they're funny and they don't come off as mean-spirited, but I was curious about the cultural context considering China's legal stance on lgbtq+ stuff. Thank you in advance if you can provide some insight!

Well first of all, you have to remember

the internet is more queer friendly than real life

the douyins you see are going to contain a bias from me, the person who is choosing them/reposting them with translations. I am not going to post douyins where being queer is the punchline because that would be absurd and hurtful. I'm only going to post douyins where the queer plot point is unrelated to the actual punchline. For example, in the 双面笑笑 douyins you mentioned, the joke there is supposed to be that workplace dynamic is inappropriate and exploitative, and the 'romance' always has to do with the boss trying to get the employee to work more (which the employee gets suckered into doing).

I answered a similar ask once before, and I stand by what I said there, with the additional emphasis on the fact that there is only so much cultural context I can offer considering I don't live in China.

To add onto it, I would be to stress that it's really a complex and multi-faceted issue on the ground/beyond just government policies or whatever. There is a diverse IRL queer experience in China, just as there is, for example, in the U.S. Depending on where you live and your socioeconomic status, you are going to be more or less burdened by your identity, and it seems (to me, as an observer who doesn’t live in China) that there’s sort of that simultaneous thing of there being continued prejudice at the same time that there is a sense of liberation due to the prevalence of LGBT rep globally/abroad.

↳ For example, I see an argument being made a lot of against gay men marrying/having children with straight women; online, straight and queer people alike will condemn this due to the fact that it is, objectively, unfair to straight women. What I find a bit mysterious is the argument that the gay men feeling pressured into the marriage/family pipeline are doing so out of pure selfishness, and that they should just 'be themselves', as if there isn't HUGE societal pressure in China to get married and have children. Similarly, there seems to be much derision amongst lesbians toward Ts (butch lesbians, approximately) who marry straight men and have children, I'm guessing because they're "visibly queer", although this gets iffy because not all tomboys/masc girls are Ts (i.e, lesbians), but lesbians will naturally feel tricked/betrayed when a masc girl 'profits' (directly/by creating lesbian aesthetics or through being ambiguous/private about their real sexuality) off being appealing to lesbians because she looks like a T, and then turns around and gets married to a guy (and of course, now we get into the subject of bisexuality/bi-erasure/biphobia :S). But I seriously digress.

As for douyin and depicting the queer, there is also some level of what I can best describe as shipping/fujoshi/skinship culture at play? I know tumblr likes to look down on that sort of thing, either as cringe or problematic, but it's quite normal for douyin users to ship IRL douyin users, no matter if m/m, f/f, m/f, etc. (The distinction to note here I guess is that it's quite lighthearted shipping. Sort of like spectating, I guess? Typically people don't read that deeply into it, they just will comment that they ship something if they think there's chemistry there or it'd be cute. There's also a pretty normal phenomenon of fans commenting 'can I ship this?' toward accounts, who generally agree/don't care/reply ambiguously, which is seen as passive approval).

The rise of danmei has helped promote queerness and legitimise/normalise it, but it has also aestheticised it to some degree. It's a similar phenomenon that you see in Western media representation, I feel like. Anecdotally, I've read many a douyin comment section of queer people lamenting that there are straight people using queerness and queer stories and aesthetic to profit, giving nothing back to the actual queer community or to the advancement of queer liberation; again, this is similar to what you can find in the west.

CONCLUSION:

I think I'm starting to lose the plot on this answer a little, so I'll just stop here. Just know that the landscape of queer content on douyin/the Chinese internet is vast and multifaceted, and the queer Chinese community/culture is not going to directly translate to western LGBT™ school of thought/discourse/expectations, though the nature of globalisation is that western discourse has naturally dictated a good portion of LGBT understanding worldwide.

With regards to douyin/Chinese internet depiction of queer "rep", some of it is mean-spirited or at very least, not intentionally mean but still off-putting, either by my personal standards and/or by western (popular discourse?) standards. I just don't post that content because I don't find it worth sharing.

#text #answered ask #long post #will i try to answer the question? yes. will i ramble about other things and potentially forget what i'm supposed to be addressing? yes.#ummm also others feels free to agree or disagree here since i'm literally just talking out my ass. these are just my opinions&observations

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destinyc1020 · 2 months

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I'm glad that anon shared their experience of quitting twitter and I completely agree, but I have to say that I don't think the Tomdaya and Timdaya obsession are anything ailke. Maybe if this had been pre-2021 before TZ confirmed they were dating? But right now, one couple is confirmed dating, and the other is an imaginary ship that only apparently makes the real people uncomfortable. IMO, obsessing over Tomdaya (within reason, like consuming public content and not being negative about their rs) is a lot less problematic than pushing an imaginary 'ship' of two real people who are both in other relationships.

I also like what anon said about there being no hierarchy to fans, that they dislike us all equally lmao, it's true. It's funny to see certain factions of fans thinking that T or Z is on their 'side' when if you're talking crap about their partner, if you're disrespecting their work (in a way that isn't fair critiques of course), then they are going to want to distance themselves more and more. As they should. I'm proud of TZ for putting up boundaries between fans and at work. Whatever they need to do to protect their peace, they should do it. And so should we in fandom. It's really important that we all remember that if we're not having FUN with fandom, then click away! Our lives and happiness matter too.

Hey Anon! I definitely agree that there is surely a huge difference btwn shipping Tom and Zendaya (who are ACTUALLY a real-life couple), vs shipping Z with her co-star Timmy (who are just friends and it's cringe af)....

But I think maybe what Anon was talking about is the "darker side" of shipping.... Yes, even shipping a REAL-life couple can have it's "darker sides" and can get to the point where it's intrusive and obsessive. 👀 Whether you're shipping a real life couple, or characters, you don't want it to get to the point where it's obsessive, taking over your life, or just plain unhealthy. 🥴

Anything in excess (yes, even GOOD things) can turn into something unhealthy for you.

Anyway....

I definitely think it's good that TZ have decided to try harder to be a bit more private online, and have scaled back significantly on how they operate in the social media world. I don't think it means that they "hate" us at all (some celebrities don't post on social media EVER but you can tell that they LOOOVE their fans!), I just think that it means that they have had to dial it back a bit, and make a clear demarcation line of their private life and work life so that fans don't confuse the two or cross over boundaries, that's all! 🥰

Tom and Z LOVE their fans! They're always saying so! And you can tell by the way they treat their fans and greet them. 🥰 But when you get to a certain fame level, unfortunately, you end up needing to keep some level of privacy.

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writing-by-mimi · 2 years

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Can’t wait for the demons to discover even more horrifying human anatomy shit. They thought preganacy was scary?? Heres more scary shit for them.

Wait till they hear bout our stupid appendix, which has no real function but if it gets infected or bursts it WILL kill you. We all walk around w that ticking time bomb 😜

Mammon: Mc, ya still got that appenticks?

Mc: you mean my appendix? Ya...

Mammon:*in tears calling everyone telling them Mc is going to explode*

Lucifer:*pinching the bridge of his nose.* Mc won't explode. The appendix could at any time.

Belphie:*cringing* you should just get rid of that, why do you humans even have it anyway?

Mc:*shrugs* not sure...but I feel like I'm going to made to have it removed...

Mammon: damn right, Doll. Get in the car. We got an appenticks ta yeet.

Satan:*shaking his head* appendix, dipshit. Appendix. *grabbing his coat and going to the car*

24 hours later, with more pain medication than any human would ever need, but the boys and the royals are just freaking out...because you had to be cut open and and something removed.

Mc:*speaking gibberish and giggling high as a kite on an iv drip*

Mammon: *never leaves your side and ready to cry in an instant. When you tell him he's pretty with your goofy high smile he turns redder than levi. Will 100% steal whatever you ask from the hospital, even you. Does not care.*

Lucifer:*concerned about so much, like the sheer amount of drugs your on, if you have any other random organs he is unaware of that will explode and kill you. Mc happily humming at him telling him that they wanna hold his sexy ungloved hand. Will oblige, but he will blush and everyone will have to be out of the room. He will tell you it was just a dream from the drugs after it all*

Diavolo:*loves highly medicated Mc. Says all kinds of things and talks about the human world, even knows your not all there, he loves it. When you tell him you wanna be his future princess (regardless of gender) dude has to leave the room and beat off in the bathroom. Expect to be invited to the castle more after it all. Though you won't know why bc of the drugs*

Barb: *man takes care of you like a champ. Crushed ice and water always flowing for high Mc. When Mc confesses they want to be his personal sexy maid he will give a soft smile while holding your hand. Be prepared for an offer to be a castle maid for an obscene amount of money. He'd love to have you 'under him' in more ways than just employment Mc. Be ready for odd spills and what seems like a shorter and shorter uniform as time goes on*

Levi:*boy is in a panic. Part of you could explode! Wisdom teeth, fuck it, cut those out too while Mc is on the drip. Hold your hand, but doesn't blush. Your so messed up, you won't remember any normie conversations. Makes it so easy to talk to you. Even tell you he loves you when it's just him...he could get used to this... Mc better be ready to set some hard boundaries and tell people if they dissappear, that Levi has them...*

Satan:*reads to you about random things. In your iv drip wonderland, you do your best to follow along, but it just isn't happening. Would switch to telling you tales he wrote about you and him on adventures, falling in love, living happily together. You won't remember that he writes what is basically secret fanfiction and keeps it under his bed*

Asmo:* wanna take a selfie? So many videos of you loopy and cute pictures with filters. If you tell him he is pretty, he'll just nod along. When you slur out you wanna be pretty like him, his heart breaks a little bit. He will make you fabulous. You'll come off the drugs looking like a movie star, a few lipstick stains here and there on your gown, as your just too cute not to smooch here and there*

Beel:*is in absolute horror when he sees the scar. It is just...you were open. He's seen the inside of a human before. (They've ate them in the past) but knowing it was you so vulnerable...but you needed the surgery so bad. Is 100% torn and will carry you around everywhere after surgery. Will even skip fangol practice bc he just needs you in his arms*

Belphie:*probably the meanest of them while you are inebriated on the drip of hospital drugs. As just a look see...a prank, he tells you he loves you. How you react though, tears and nodding slurring out how you've loved him for so long and you forgave him for killing you and trying to lift your gown back fires on this man. Is a blushing mess and now he has a crush on you? (It was there the whole time, he just didn't realize) stupid human appendix...*

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seth-burroughs · 3 months

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benefits of being yomi kin:

makes me twice as cool and sexy and automatically makes me the objectively correct authority on Yomi's character it is impossible for me to be wrong and if u tell me im wrong ill start scream crying on the floor

won kin lottery and is capable of distinguishing between Yomi Hellsmile the character and Yomi Hellsmile The Character allowing me to both quite literally be that guy and keep another version of him as my blorbo. Manifesting in the ability of fantasizing bout yomi suffering iykwim AND getting past the masochist allegations <3 Also yeah the Yomi fic is currently in works no I will not answer questions on it

this yaoihellsmile shit is sooo easy someone asks me "ouuuyy honey unwrangle my dingle in ur boioioiong and by sproingle well heh lets jsut say. my peanits. any thoughts on that mr yaoi?" and i just answer honestly straight from the heart no bullshit no rp skillz required

woaghhhhhh......... Former director of the peacekeepers homunculus clone Yomi Hellsmile from Master Detective Archives: Rain Code by Spike Chunsoft........ holy shshshit. He's Real......

disadvantages of being yomi kin:

the regular bullshittery that comes free with being fictionkin of any kind cut my wife into pieces this is my last divorce

everybody and their mom hates Yomi and even if the tag here is way less outright aggressive and I can just easily block anyone who makes me uncomfortable in any capacity, youtube is just unusable. Just. AuUUUghhhh. I know one of my fave dr youtubers is gonna play mdarc this year and I also know he's gonna absolutely hate Yomi with a passion and frequently pause the game to talk about how terrible he his yes we get it you are allowed to have opinions on fictional characters and aren't doing anything wrong by it whatever im gonns look up yomi softcore on pixiv fuka u

overly complicates my already fucked sense of self

Blood cravings got even worse😔 bad BAD this isn't sustenance it's toxic as hell christ dude STOP❗❗

not extremely likely but still very possible nightmare scenario where the precipitation cipher gets Big attracting those people and getting bombarded with kinnie jokes and annoying Ironic Kin For Fun crowd finding its way here. And that is the at best scenario, the worst one is 2015 kin drama reignited in 2020s you can't "kin" this character unless you're x or x, you can absolutely control who you're kin with and if i don't like your very voluntary choice you should stop (just stop man <3 i won't tell you how the fuck 😊) being fictionkin with a sinful evil abuser linux user makes you a bad person that deserves to be ostracized and harassed until you unlearn your problematic ways oh my god do any of you remember 2015 warrior cat kin drama what the fuck was that. i wasn't around in danganronpa fandom during that time but im pretty sure it may have been even worse there which is insane to even think about. but i mean like hey at least fictionkin were taken (mostly.) seriously back then (albeit considered deeply cringe by the masses) and not reduced to a cheap komaeda kinnies amiright joke

i suffered more than jesus actually. the demotion and arrest was SUPER unfair and cringe guys i promise im not gonna torture people from now on you can trust me in a position of power please please please no one did it like i did it

EJ MARTINA DZIE MIE KURWA WYWIEŹLI CO TO ZA ZADUPIE MARTINA. MARTINA NIE WYTRZYMAM JUŻ WEŹ HELIKOPTER I MIE KURWA ZABIERZ Z TEGO CHLEWU MAM DOŚĆ POMOCY <- wygnany do Rzeczypospolitej za swoje zbrodnie😔

Yomi is Real (threatening)

#fictionkin coming out post #mom... dad... I'm Yomi He-[GETS IMMEDATELLY TRANSPORTED VIA A POLICE VAN TO THE NEAREST PRISON COMPLEX]#Would youy still lobe me if I. martina cube incident yakouver incident blank week murder spree incident meatbun incident former ceo incide-#mine #rain code #yomi hellsmile

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zipmode · 5 months

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your wizards are seriously so awesome tell. me. everything

WOW this ask looks so broken on mobile for some reason but YAYYY YIPPEEEEE WUNCLE WORLD ^_^ surprisingly fleshed out for a world where literally the only two characters I've been able to think up names for are the titular Wuncle and Earnest.

Wait im gonna put this infodump under a read more. Just in case. Yeah it's a long one.

ANYWAYS it's from a concept I came up with some time last year I think? (GOING BACK AFTER LOOKING UP WHEN I FIRST TALKED ABOUT THEM. IT WAS THIS YEAR. LOL.) Earnest is this miserable kid in the 'real' world whose parents died in a ~MYSTERIOUS INCIDENT~. One day out of nowhere their deadbeat uncle Joe (who they barely remember, hasn't seen him since the death of their parents) yanks them into the MAGIC world where he reveals that he and Earnest's mom come from a super long line of extremely powerful wizards, that Earnest's mom only moved to Boring World to be with the cringe fail love of her life or whatever 🙄, and that Earnest should basically come live with him in his AWESOME WIZARD TOWER instead of the STUPID REAL WORLD so they can study under him to become the next great wizard in the family or whatever.

Instead of being super hyped for this opportunity like Joe THINKS is gonna happen, Earnest is like. 'Dude what the fuck? I barely know you. I don't care about this. Take me back. I miss my Nintendo DS.'

To this Wuncle Joe responds 'ohhhh ummmm actually creating a portal to boringland is incredibly difficult and can only occur like once every ten years when the planets align jussst right so basically you're stuck here anyways 😁👍but don't worry it's cool I'm cool we're cool.' And thus begins Earnest's involuntary apprenticeship 👍

Other characters Wuncle World include:

Wuncles' Familar: Wuncle Joe made a deal with this demon essentially stating that in exchange for his soul (after he dies ((a powerful wizards soul is a rare and tasty treat for a demon))) she works for him and basically does whatever. Basically his assistant. Very silly very goofy VERY VERY EVIL. but cant really do any SUPER evil stuff unless joe says so. At least until he dies :). She's capable of shape-shifting and typical demon stuff but her default form looks like this (old drawings <3) vvv

DRYAD KID: a little ways away from Wuncle's Tower, which is surrounded by a dense and super magical forest, is a secret town of various naturey creatures. Dryads, Nymphs, Satyrs, Pixies etc etc etc. Earnest learns about it through the Dryad Kid, who at first is like 'OH FUCK yes new kid in the forest', then Earnest is like 'yeah I moved into the wizard tower. With my uncle. The wizard.' And the Dryad kid is like. '.........ohhhhh 😬 that guy.'

Dryad Kid acts as Earnest's primary guide to the magical realms as well as their first glimpse into the fact that Wuncle Joe isn't just some deadbeat fool, but a public nuisance at best and a malicious force in the realm at worst. If Earnest isn't busy doing stupid wizard shit with their uncle, chances are they're hanging out with Dryad Kid.

HONORABLE CHARACTER MENTIONS (even less flushed out guys but still important):

KING AND PRINCE: king of the big main kingdom. Wuncle Joe's old boss. Also not a great guy but it's less obvious at first. His son is the prince who acts as like. A rival to Earnest before they both realize they're kind of in similar boats and become friends.

WIZARD COUNCIL: grand council of wizards that controls. Well you know. Wizard stuff. Fate of the world shit. They fucking hate Wuncle Joe. Hardasses but not necessarily evil.

EARNEST 'S MOM: very very very powerful wizard. Clearly had some crazy beef with Joe before she died but most of the specifics are unknown to Earnest until later in the plot.

Overall plot is like. Earnest gradually discovering that Wuncle Joe is actually the primary antagonist of this world. They have to Outwizard and Outscheme him before he can destroy everything basically.

Thank you for asking about my wizard world Austin in lives in my head rent free <3 this essentially only scratches the surface of its Whole Deal. But this was already super long LOL

#zipmode answers #giggles and frolicks until i accidentally run headfirst into a wall #wuncle joe #earnest madision #my ocs

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mlobsters · 11 months

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DEAN It's just that this is our first real case, back at it together. You know, I, I think we oughta ease into it, put the training wheels back on.

SAM So you think I need training wheels.

DEAN No, 'we'. 'We' need training wheels, you and me. As a team. Okay?

SAM Okay.

DEAN Man, I really want this to be a fresh start, you know? For the both of us.

supernatural s5e5 fallen idols (w. julie siege)

reserve the right to cringe later but this isn't as bad as i was expecting, knowing it was an episode featuring paris hilton. as paris hilton (sort of). in fact it's been kinda cute.

getting lincoln vs the zombies vibes

OWNER Well, for one, that's Honest Abe's real hat.

SAM It is?

DEAN Almost like his remains.

DEAN looks pointedly at SAM. The OWNER frowns.

the owner dude's vaguely disgusted "ehh" made me cackle. well played, sir. he made the most of this part for sure.

two laptops now huh, and with matching backgrounds. cute

DEAN You ain't steering this boat. Let's go, chop chop.

SAM You know, this isn't gonna work.

DEAN What isn't?

SAM Us. You, me, together, I—I thought it could, but it can't.

DEAN You're the one that wanted back in, chief.

SAM And you're the one who called me back in.

DEAN I still think we got some trust building to do.

SAM How long am I gonna be on double-secret probation?

DEAN Till I say so.

SAM Look. I know what I did. What I've done. And I am trying to climb out of that hole, I am, but you're not making it any easier.

DEAN So what am I supposed to do, just let you off the hook?

SAM No. You can think whatever you want. I deserve it, and worse. Hell, you'll never punish me as much as I'm punishing myself, but the point is, if we're gonna be a team, you and I—it has to be a two-way street.

DEAN So we just go back to the way we were before?

SAM No, because we were never that way before. Before didn't work.

SAM How do you think we got here?

DEAN What's that supposed to mean?

SAM Dean, one of the reasons I went off with Ruby...was to get away from you.

DEAN What?

SAM It made me feel strong. Like I wasn't your kid brother.

DEAN Are you saying this is my fault?

SAM No, it's my fault. All I'm saying is that, if we're gonna do this, we have to do it different, we can't just fall into the same rut.

DEAN What do you want me to do?

SAM You're gonna have to let me grow up, for starters.

ouch. good on sam for standing up for himself. i don't... really remember that dynamic being so black and white back then, but there's so many episodes and so much happening who knows.

pleasantly surprised how they did this, and how she played it. kind of poking fun at herself but nothing over the top.

something that bugs me, but also i understand, but continues to bug me is how everyone is placing the blame on sam for starting the apocalypse. he played a part, that he was manipulated and tricked into, and the powers that be wanted it to happen and didn't do anything to stop it. if we're gonna place the blame on sam like this, then it should equally placed on dean for breaking the first seal. i don't think either is fair. it was a systemic thing that lead to those events coming to pass, the individuals being forced into playing certain parts. anyway. it feels like every turn it's like well SOMEONE STARTED THE APOCALYPSE and yeah, okay, but also, no. :p

LESHI And this belonged to him. Didn't it? Poor little Dean. All you ever wanted was to be loved by your idol. One distant father figure, coming right up.

SAM Dude. You just got whaled on by Paris Hilton!

love how gleeful he is to tell him. that's the little brother energy we know and love.

DEAN Hey, listen, I was thinking about what you said yesterday. About me keeping too tight of a leash on you. Hell, maybe you're right. I mean, look, I'm not exactly Mister Innocent in this whole mess either, you know. I did break the first seal.

SAM You didn't know.

DEAN Yeah, well, neither did you.

DEAN I'm not saying demon blood was a great way to go, but, you did kill Lilith.

SAM And start the apocalypse.

DEAN Which neither of us saw coming, I mean, who'd have thought killing Lilith would've been a bad thing?

DEAN Point is, I was so worried about watching your every move that I didn't see what it was actually doing to you. So, for that I'm sorry.

ha! great minds. that's so funny. thank you, julie siege. this is also the kind of addressing issues that grabbed me by the throat with this show to begin with.

that little coming up in the season preview montage looks like there's plenty of cringe-worthy episodes to come, yikes.

#supernatural #spn 5x05 #spnwatch #paris hilton #everyone is so eager to call out dean's daddy issues #julie siege

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phoinexboi · 1 year

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Evolution:

This is gonna be different from the Illusion post I made. Why:

1. I made the first part of this MONTHS ago for a freind therefore there's a whole introductory paragraph waiting for ya'll (It's definitely edited and refined like A LOT)

2. I need to explain things before I analyze it this time because this episode was... confusing.

Okay one of the things we have to address is the time travel rules this show follows. Now the show is attempting at a loop theory (although they are failing miserably. Why do I say they're doing this? Because this episode basically sets off the events of the show!

For those of you who don't know, the loop theory is a theory in time travel in which whenever someone goes back in time, NOTHING WILL CHANGE. This theory can be done well of horribly. For example, a positive example of this could be "Secrets of Sulphur Springs". It's a fairly underrated mini-series and should deserve more love. ANYWAYS, this show does the loop theory well because... you don't know how things go down in the end. And even if you do it will be written off in a satisfactory way. The show's main element is time travel and it does well with it. A bad example is the episode Timetagger. Now the Bunny/Rabbit miraculous has a fair amount of inconsistencies from the power function to the actual power itself. The main one I wanna focus on is the loop effect that kinda but isn't there....

Lemme explain. Earlier in the episode Bunnyx REMEMBERS that mini-her was waving. Meaning that this event had been planned and happened before looping.

However, later in the episode when the civillians were transported to the past they changed many paintings. If the show was a loop that never would've happened.

Now my problem with this episodes loop...

Master Fu chose teenagers because he MET teenagers. So he KNEW to give it to TEENAGERS!

A lot of people have illogically complained about how this doesn't make sense and how he couldn't see through the Quantum masking. BUT HE DIDN'T HAVE TO!

He knew they were teens... that's all.

My problem is that this is a LOOP situation which is shown throughout the episode but the "time travel is dangerous" exuse. Is still used when it either won't matter in the end or will just be inconsistenly used throughout the episode!

They practically ruined the show with this one scene...

Anyways, that isn't the whole point I just had to get the time issues out the way so you can get back to your irregularly scheduled content.

Now onto my actual thoughts regarding the episode...

Look I originally liked the episode when it came out but I think that was just recency bias...

Was the episode bad? No. Just boring...

Not super boring but slightly repetitive

The show has trouble doing something outside of the format they usually follow and you can tell!

Let's start at the beginning. We pick up right after the Season 4 finalie. The crowd chants Ladybugs name.

I didn't like that they did this... Why? Because they killed all momentum they set up in Season 4! I mean, first off, look what happened in this episode. BARELY ANYTHING! I liked this episode because of the ending. That's it...

So now it's time to continue this epic roast.

Now time for the real JUICE! Me breaking down random and somewhat opinionated thoughts I had about the episode and writing them for the public ^^

Note time!

• Can we just mention the Synopsis though... "Ladybug and Chat Noir face an opponent who is in possession of the rabbit miraculous in a race against time" how cringe...

• The intro still bops-

• The hand holding!

• The Parisians completely ignore Chaton as usual 🙄

• Why do they always respect Monarchs name change in canon? Like I get why we do it but like in canon why can't we just choose whatever name we want at whatever time.... oh right this is a kids show that has no logic and wants to keep things as simple as possible-

• Gabriel is pure evil

• The animation downgraded but it's still good

• Nadja's hair color is so inconsistent in this show across the studios XD

• I thought LB stuck out the middle finger for a second...

• Was it ever confirmed it was called a message retriever? Because that's what the wiki calls it

• Thomas confirmed that Monarch's symbol was a work of the butterfly, Turtle and fox miraculous'. If so... why didn't I see any smoke when Ladybug breaks the akuma signal?

• HOW DID CHAT NOIR BREAK THE SHEILD WITH HIS STAFF ALONE IF HE HAS TO USE HIS CATACLYSM LATER ON?!

• How weak is the shell cast by "Shell-ter"?

• "It's you and me" that's quite important

• LMBO! The scene with Gabriel and the kwamis while LB and CN talk to the Parisians is so funny because it's so poorly chopped together!

• I love how Sass is the father figure. I mean he is the concept of "Intution"!

• Gabriel didn't do anything can he please stop taking credit

• Nathalie is the adult and Gabriel is the child in like 90% of their scenes together...

• Gabriel's camouflage miraculous designs suck

• Gabriel is so quick to do and so late to think

• The LB and Rabbit Noir scene still proves the loop theory

• BUNNYX IS A LIAR! Time Travel won't change anything 🙄

• The faces have definitely changed since previous seasons. You can tell with all the flashbacks this ep!

• BURROW BRAWL!!!!!

• What would Gabriel do with his second rabbit miraculous if he got it?

• Why couldn't Chat Noir extend his staff this time? Is the burrow too small?

• RABBIT NOIR!

• "It's you and me remember?"

• Ladybug is falling in love with Chaton by this point and we all know it

• They chase after Monarch for a bit... very old school...

• "Impressive..."

• No Marinette or Adrien this episode just heros

• The Master Fu scene was cool

• WHY COULDN'T HE JUST EXTEND HIS STAFF AGAIN

• I'm not going in order because this episode is all over the place...

• Bunnyx comes back LITTERALY Teo seconds later to return the Miraculous to Wang Fu

• Alix and her father have such a cute relationship 🤧

• Canigirl is cool. I don't like how they pronounced it in the English dub "Cane-I-girl"?

• Ready for action!

• The resolution for getting the rabbit back was cool but kinda odd because it wasn't much of a fight-

• But then again fighting doesn't solve every problem even in a superhero show ^^

• Bunnyx leaves for a while... it's undetermined for how long though...

• Chat Noir supports Ladybug again even though she doesn't deserve him!

• Nathalie goes off on Gabriel and leaves him for dead

• "LAAAADYBUUUUG"

"And they all screamed into the sunset"

Some inconsistencies but an 8/10 would recommend. I was a bit hard on it but despite a few "boring" scenes it was a really fun episode!

P.S. Sorry for comming out with this so late... school has been very demanding as of late...

#ml evolution #ml analysis by me!#bunnyx

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theartofjournalling · 5 months

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Tired

Look mate, Imma just be real, I never wanted to play games. We all have it hard in life.

I've done my part and helped you as much as I can. Done things all on your terms. But I know damn well that my help is definitely replaceable, and you're not doing a good job at telling me otherwise. Way to make a friend feel invisible.

But it really angered me when you seemed to imply that I am a priority just because you talk to me more than your father.

Dude, all we talk about is you. Every time I end up mentioning something about my life, it gets lost in the abyss of our conversations, to the point where I numerously have to bring up things so you actually remember things in my life. It's no wonder you bring up Elaine when we talk about this situation. You know damn well what you're doing.

You see, I always wondered how someone who is so perceptive needs a constant reminder of the stuff that's going on in my life. It then occurred to me that some people just conveniently forget the things they don't care enough to remember.

Sometimes it's no wonder why I resort to playing games, or constantly send longer paragraphs, or even in worst case scenario, make you doubt yourself or insult you, the way I have in the past. Those are the only ways to provoke a reaction out of you so the conversation becomes equal. Haven't you noticed how readily and quickly you reply when the conversation is like that?

It didn't make sense to me before why whilst i was being optimistic, you still were adamant there would be entropy in our friendship. I'm over you, I'm done and ready to make boundaries, but of course, this shit called a relationship is meant to be two-sided. But one person wasn't really considerate of the other. Like no shit you were gonna say that, the one who lights the fire is going to smell the smoke. The smoke of complacency.

Yeah man, that's the real deal here. It's not just the making time. I feel like nothing around you. Your compliments mean jack all. it's just empty words. I already know I'm deep, creative or whatever you have to say. Apart from when I've had really really serious situations happen to me, not once have I felt like i could say "oh yeah Mason is a true friend. He'd be there for me."

These bosses of yours, or selfish people and those who are hungry for power, money you name it. They don't give a shit about anyone except themselves. You call yourself more religious now, believing in god. Preach his words, learning to love thy neighbour and experiencing love in a community that is not something you intend to make money off, something that isn't involving just personal gain to you. Having a sense of unity. That's not something you're gonna automatically get once you've "made it".

Man, I just wanted to feel respected or seen. You make me feel the complete opposite. It's not just about having "time". I've told you how to compromise, how you should treat a friend. Things I didn't think I'd need to be teaching a 25 year old man. It sucks because there are moments where it almost feels like things are getting better, and you genuinely care. But then we're back it again at square and I feel dumbfounded because suddenly I'm being your therapist with no form of reciprocation.

i have my struggles too. I was really upset more than i thought about hearing L making it into med. I know from the bottom of my heart that he is not a good guy, and I wont curse him for making it in but I know so many people in that position. I also came out to the girl who I had a feeling liked me, which was stressful because I didn't know how to go about it, and she was a cool person. Turns out I was right, and she did have feelings for me. I hate that I'm right because I always know when a girl likes me and it makes me cringe. I bet you don't even remember, but I've mentioned this girl to you already. Among many other more important things I've pretty much been upset or really happy about but yet again, just gets lost in the abyss.

I'm really worried about money too as I only have 2000 in my savings and while I've given 20k to my brother and my parents I know both are not in positions to give that back to me and so I can't really afford to enjoy myself these days. We all have it hard in life Brad. Every single one of us.

I always lent an ear and been a helping hand and I really don't think I'm asking much of you. Man, I've even been willing to compromise for things most friends would not be we willing to do. Where's my end of the bargain?

I'm not sorry that you can't profit off me, or that I'm not some business investment, since those are the things you consider productive working towards. I'm worth a lot more than that, and I think a true friend would realise and not take advantage of me.

#lgbtq

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artofjournalling2910 · 5 months

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Tired

Look mate, Imma just be real, I never wanted to play games. We all have it hard in life.

But it really angered me when you seemed to imply that I am a priority just because you talk to me more than your father.

Dude, all we talk about is you. Every time I end up mentioning something about my life, it gets lost in the abyss of our conversations, to the point where I numerously have to bring up things so you actually remember things in my life. It's no wonder you bring up E when we talk about this situation. You know damn well what you're doing.

Man, I just wanted to feel respected or seen. You make me feel the complete opposite. It's not just about having "time". I've told you how to compromise, how you should treat a friend. Things I didn't think I'd need to be teaching a 27 year old man. It sucks because there are moments where it almost feels like things are getting better, and you genuinely care. But then we're back it again at square and I feel dumbfounded because suddenly I'm being your therapist with no form of reciprocation.

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donnabroadway · 8 months

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Millennial Cringe

Every generation talks about the generation under it as if they're the most depraved people to ever walk the earth. Stop it. Every generation has been nasty, this is just the first generation to do it in real time. Every generation has had a piece of technology that the masses thought would end humanity. Even though Motown and early Rock and Roll may seem corny and tame compared to what is online today, let's not pretend that parents weren't losing their minds over the dancing and lyrics. People have been using morality and respectability politics to shame young people since adolescence became recognized and people weren't exploiting young people for their bodies, sexually and for work purposes.

For Millennials to sit online and disparage and misgender an artist that you don't like because you think they're trash, is disgusting to me and unnecessary. I know we don't think the music we listened to wasn't "that bad" but it was. There was a reason why music released in the late 80s, early 90s had a parent advisory sticker on it. The radio and our parents may have played the clean, radio edit version but Lil Kim wasn't on album cover with her legs open because she was singing gospel music. It was "that bad." It's just that it had to be played on radio and the videos had to air on family friendly programing because parents were in the car listening to the radio with their children or there was only one TV, so artists recorded two versions of their singles, one that was completely nasty and raunchy, and one with cleaned up lyrics, that only had a sprinkle of "n-words" and light curses like hell, damn, or ass. That was acceptable but let's not act like it wasn't that bad. The only reason you say it is real "music" when your parents called it noise, is because it's nostalgia and the memories but a lot of it was trash and a money grab. Let the babies have their music and pop culture. We're no longer the target audience and we don't have to like it or the artists, especially since everyone has ear buds and a handheld phone where they can listen to whatever they want.

It is also disgusting how people grow up, get families, have long term careers, become respectable members of society and want to stick their noses up at people and say "I wasn't like that" and while they may not have done the exact thing they're looking down upon, they were borderline hell on wheels back in the day. They may not have done "that" but they did enough that even if they don't agree, they should be quiet. That's why I love family discussions because those elders remember and they are quick to remind and humble. I don't care if Freaknik was started as an alumni picnic for respectable career minded individuals who wanted to relive their college days, it ended with someone's mother shaking their behind on a car and someone's father allegedly inappropriately touching someone. Gen X can try to rewrite history and allege it wasn't "that bad" but there were too many people shaking in their boots when the documentary was announced for me to believe that lie and if Gen X can hide behind youth, why can't Gen Z? It's cool when you do it, a problem when they do it. Got it.

The cycle is being wild and crazy, to either growing up or aging out and subsequently sticking up their noses at the youth and pointing out every mistake and wanting punishment and atonement for sins, to realizing this is the cycle of life and what it is what it is and if everyone else got through it, so will they. There is nothing new under the sun.

Getting called old is a cannon event and retorting back by saying the other person looks old or that you don't look your age, isn't the flex you think it is. In terms of pop culture, millennials are old. We're in our late 30s, and while our face cards may still work but it takes a lot of effort to only be slightly overweight, we're more concerned with responsibilities, making sure we have a roof over our heads, our kids can eat, that we can pay our bills, namely student loans, and still have a little bit left to play with. If we do spend a lot of money on frivolous things, it is only a few times a year, maybe a concert, convention, vacation or something major like a party or social event of the season. Gone are the days when we try to rob Peter and never pay Paul, to look fly and have experiences. Gone are the days when we'd rather have our lights off or eat ramen and hot dogs, for protein, to follow our favorite artists around the country. As much as we love Beyonce, lets not pretend that her audience isn't millennials or Gen X. Gen Z is not checking for Renaissance or anything that she has done past Single Ladies, maybe Lemonade, if we're generous. The peak of millennial pop culture was 2008-2016; Gen X and Xillenial was 1999-2006.

Let's face it, our artists have reached their nostalgia age. Many millennial artists have passed their peak and have either transitioned to a career behind the scenes, retirement, social media/reality TV fame, or nostalgia touring. There are two millennial artists I can think of that still have consistent hits and that's Drake and Chris Brown but Drake has to use younger artists such as 21 Savage and SexxyRedd to sell tickets and records and Chris Brown is played on the contemporary r&b station. I remember when Drake came out, people were telling older artists to retire and now people are calling Drake old to his face and saying he's having a mid life crisis. It's the cycle of life. Even Katherine Heigel, who is in her late 40s, is having to deal with Gen Zers, who are watching old clips of Greys Anatomy on Tik Tok, asking her if she's Izzy Stephens mother. We all get called old. We all age. Some age better than others but we all age.

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pocketfulofrecs · 3 years

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Dee - So! We have a little game in our discord server where writers write a fic together, blindly, without any plot. One writer starts a thread, other follows up, and then another joins in. Our first run produced the story you see below. It was a game between @auspiciouscandy, @whiteflowercrimsonparasol (or justdoityoufucker) and myself or @vrishchikawrites.

We thought it should be shared with everyone. That's why Ju and I decided to start a new section on Pocketful called Storytime with Bunnies. We'll publish all stories that we write there on Pocketful and eventually on Ao3.

Personally, it was a great deal of fun and I'm so happy that we're continuing it! I hope you like the story! It was written by three people and still turned out so smooth!

-------

A Strange Encounter

by Vrishchika, justdoityoufucker, and auspiciouscandy

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It is dark, but Wei Ying has never been afraid of darkness.

The juniors shuffle nervously behind him, sticking so close to his back, he can feel the warmth of their bodies. Suddenly, there is a noise - loud in the silence of the night and out of place. Wei Ying clutches Chengqing tightly, ready to strike. He turns in the direction of the noise only to suck in a sharp breath and try to suppress the sigh threatening to overtake him.

He’d mostly been following the juniors, letting them take the lead to hunt the nest of low-level yao that had been terrorizing the small mountain town. They’d done well, so far, and had dealt with half of the yao without incident. The problem started when they’d run into a higher-level yao, which was to be expected given his luck on night hunts, but he hadn’t expected to see a strange man.

He seems almost as tall as Chifeng-zun had been; Wei Ying can't see his features clearly, but his instincts warn him to be cautious. The man says nothing as he steps forward. He doesn't have a corpse's stiff gait. Each step brings him closer and reveals more of him. Pale skin, dark eyes, lips as red as blood, almost unnaturally still features.

His beauty is disarming, but Wei Ying is unmoved. He's married to the most beautiful man in existence, after all. But he is curious. What is this strange, beautiful man doing in the middle of the woods? And while he looks the man over, cautious of any sharp movement the man could make, he steps forward. Though contrary to his beautiful appearance, his body is but a corpse and it is difficult to hide when he staggers and what appears to be his arm drops down onto the floor. Wei Ying hears someone gagging behind him, but he cannot take his eyes off the man; every instinct in his body is screaming about the danger in front of them.

Just when he is about to speak, the man's face changes to a look of pained horror, a look that the stiffness of a corpse shouldn't be able to achieve. There is something about the way his jaw moves, that makes it seem as if he was trying to speak, but no sound leaves his red, red lips.

"Stop," Wei Ying says, putting the force of his cultivation into the word. The corpse's mouth opens even wider, and Wei Ying senses it before anything, "Cover your ears!" he shouts, but it is too late, there are some indistinguishable whispers he catches before his hands reach his ears, and he doubts any of the juniors were fast enough even as he hears their swords immediately drop to the floor.

He wracks his brain to match the odd corpse with any of the descriptions he remembers from his studies and it suddenly clicks into place. He remembers tales of bewitching creatures. Beings that can ensnare and seduce with their voice and their beauty. Beings that can control the living mind as Wei Ying controls corpses. He remembers tales of how cultivators of immense strength would drop their swords and simply submit to these creatures, allowing them to consume their Qi without protest.

His eyes flicker towards his juniors, alarm stirring in his chest. What can he do? Think. Think, Wei Ying!

And he reaches a conclusion, the corpse uses its voice to control, to influence, and had Wei Ying not used his own to do the same? Resentful energy and spiritual energy are almost similar, it's risky, but there isn't much else to do. He already perceives the juniors trying to walk past him, and he is overcome with waves after waves of compulsion from his small amount of exposure, so Wei Ying does the only thing he can think of.

He gathers the power towards his throat. His voice laced with command, he opens his mouth and sings not a real tune, at first, but simply unbridled power that cuts off the corpse's control over the juniors.

But he cannot just wrest control; he needs to suppress the corpse, and that takes more than random notes. He slides into a familiar song, lyrics that Lan Zhan shared but have never been sung before in deference to their usual duets. The juniors have never heard Wei-qianbei sing before; they have heard his tuneful humming, whistling, and music, but not his true singing voice. It renders them silent. Wei Ying's voice is resonant and it bounces off the surrounding trees and rocks, becoming amplified. The effect is otherworldly, unlike anything they have ever experienced.

It halts the strange creature in his tracks. He sways dazedly. Something about the expression is almost covetous.

Wei Ying hears Sizhui whisper his name in worry. He is his father's son and has somehow inherited all of Hanguang-jun's protectiveness. Even now, he takes a shaky step forward to stand before Wei Ying. But there's no reason he should worry; Wei Ying's control over his power is absolute, his control over the corpse-creature the same.

He changes the intent of his power, the tone of his singing, to lure the creature to lower its guard and step closer. He trusts that Sizhui knows what to do, that the other juniors will assist as his voice lulls it into submission. The creature stumbles forward, his hand stretched out towards Wei Ying. He sways with every step and Wei Ying tracks his movements carefully.

"Good boy," he croons, maintaining a singing tone in his voice, "Whatever shall we do with you?"

The corpse's hand is still outstretched and his expression is still mesmerized. Wei Ying reaches out and closes his fingers around the hand, keeping his voice mellow and soothing. "You're a strong one, aren't you?" he sings, ignoring Sizhui's alarmed noise.

The corpse will only need to twist his grip to break Wei Ying's arm but something tells him he's safe. He leans forward, curious, "Wei Ying," and Wei Ying freezes. He doesn't let off his control but it is enough for the corpse to pull him closer, a hand reaching up to caress his hair—he is aware of the gasped whispers by the juniors of, 'Hanguang-jun,' the juniors who were just beginning to take control—but this is something out of his expectation. A normally high-level corpse of this type would be troublesome on its own, but one that could mimic?

The danger levels have increased far more than what juniors can handle; Wei Ying pivots in his singing, pulls Sizhui behind him and crowds back, keeping the juniors behind him. He pauses, for the barest moment, to say, "Flare."

That snaps Sizhui to action, and as Wei Ying resumes singing, voice louder and louder, he draws a flare out of his robes and sets it off, the sparkling blue of the fireworks temporarily catching the creature's attention, making Wei Ying snap forward and cup the corpse's face, physically drawing his attention back towards him.

It is intimate, the way he angles his body and draws the creature in. Something burns in him. He has never touched anyone but his Lan Zhan like this, with so much tenderness.

The creature that mimics his husband's voice seems to mimic his affection too. Wei Ying cringes as cold fingers trace his cheek, trailing dangerously close to his neck. One slip, and Wei Ying could potentially lose his life.

"Wei Ying," The corpse whispers in his husband's voice, and something dark stirs within him. His lips twitch into an alluring smile and Wei Ying has his hand slowly reaching up and caressing its cold skin. He thinks the eyes shimmer an amber shade, for they are nowhere near the molten gold of his husband’s. He's all too aware of this cheap imitation's intent and responds in kind.

Wei Ying ignores the yells of his nephew, the sound of another flare going up into the night sky; his hand is coated in resentful energy as it reaches the back of the corpse's neck, and he maintains eye contact with it, his voice softer to only reach the corpse.

It is completely enamoured, that is why when Wei Ying makes a hand sign to the juniors to tell them to leave, the creature doesn't react. It is like a careful, possessive lover, but, unlike his husband, there is no real care behind its actions as it closes in on him. The resentful energy on Wei Ying's hands increases, solidifies, a black, hateful knife.

When he drives it directly into the corpse-creature's neck, spearing it up into its skull, the creature makes a weak, pained groan in that facsimile of his husband's voice, and Wei Ying shouldn't feel the way he does—it is but a creature who had taken up the face of his beloved—but to hear the wounded noises it makes, trying to garner his sympathy, Wei Ying cannot help but feel that sympathy. Wei Ying should know that the hands around his neck are the ones that wouldn't hesitate to kill him, so very cold, lacking his husband's warmth.

He raises his voice, and sings a sharp tune, and the corpse whines once more before it’s rendered mute, opening its mouth wide with a final hissed, “Wei Ying!”

Wei Ying's eyes widen because, for a second, before he tightens his hands, he catches a glimpse of his husband, pain and grief on his face that he hasn't seen in years. The corpse falls, its weakness stabbed through, unable to move again and Wei Ying shudders, feeling so incredibly off-kilter.

He needs to see Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan is fine, he's sure, but the look on the creature's face, the timbre of its voice--it's almost enough to overwhelm.

The juniors, still near enough to catch the sudden silence, creep back through the trees, worried looks on their faces as they take in the look on their teacher's face, the still form of the corpse-creature on the ground.

"Xian-gege?" Sizhui starts, clearly shaken if he's reverted to that form of address. He continues forward as if to grasp Wei Ying's shoulder, but Wei Ying needs a moment. Maybe it is the leftover effects of the corpse, maybe it is his own fears and concerns.

But he takes in a sharp breath and pulls his mouth into a smile, "Now then, shouldn't we return? I assume none of you are hurt?" He looks them over, ignoring the sneaked glances from the dazed juniors as they stand up on their shaking legs, "Come along now—" he places his hand on top of Sizhui's, which shakes almost unnoticeably.

Sizhui wants to reassure him, but he knows already that Wei-qianbei wouldn't feel comforted until he lays his eyes on Hanguang-jun. Sizhui has seen enough of their love to know this is one of the few things that can rattle his indomitable Xian-gege. If anything happens to Hanguang-jun, Wei-qianbei would—

Sizhui draws his mind away from grim thoughts and watches as Wei-qianbei steps forward to the body, pulling out his qiankun pouch. Suddenly, there's a twitch of movement from nearby. As if called by Wei Ying and Lan Sizhui's thoughts, the austere white of Lan Zhan's robes appears, and he comes to a graceful halt near the corpse-creature.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying can't help but exhale in relief, "We're fine."

Hanguang-jun casts a look at the corpse-creature, then back at Wei Ying. He looks over Wei Ying completely before turning his gaze towards the juniors while moving towards Wei Ying, almost a split second of a glance but enough to know they're fine; it wouldn't have been noticed if Sizhui hadn't been looking for it. Then, he reaches up to caress Wei Ying’s face and Wei Ying melts into it, feeling the warmth seep into his skin.

"Wei Ying," Wei Ying can't describe how relieved he feels when the familiar scent of sandalwood envelopes him. It takes but a glance for Lan Zhan to see past his welcoming smile and glimpse the truly shaken core of him.

"Go forth, Sizhui, we'll join you soon." Lan Zhan commands and Wei Ying almost protests. He doesn't want the children away from him. Lan Zhan just shakes his head and pulls him close, "Breathe, center yourself."

Wei Ying presses his forehead to Lan Zhan's shoulder and sighs. Lan Zhan is here. Lan Zhan is safe, solid, and strong. That's all he cares about, and he feels his arms encircling him so he completely rests his weight upon his husband, his head on Lan Zhan's chest, hearing his heartbeat go thump thump thump.

He feels the earlier fight leaving his body as he relaxes against him, matching their breaths together. Wei Ying wants to stay there with him, the forest trees and the silence that was eerie and offsetting earlier feels serene and calming. But they can’t, because they have to get back, everyone in need of rest, the kids in need of checking to see if they're all actually okay.

Then there's the issue of the corpse-creature; research will need to be done when they are back in Cloud Recesses, to figure out what it is and if there might be more. Wei Ying breathes in the sandalwood scent of his husband, then steps away, qiankun pouch in hand. The corpse is where it had fallen, and he kneels next to it, Lan Zhan a comforting presence next to him.

"Aiya," He says, "They tried but couldn't get close to your perfection, Lan Zhan."

His husband huffs but keeps a steady, warm hand on his back. It is a reassuring presence that makes it easier to examine the body. Wei Ying runs his eyes along the tall body, mind stirring, "Who could be behind this?" How and why did they mimic Lan Zhan of all people? Wei Ying can't help but feel concerned. Lan Zhan hums in response but offers no commentary; he's probably still in a protective, vigilant state. Wei Ying smiles fondly and kisses him on his cheek, "let's return then,” he says, and gets up after putting it away.

Lan Zhan pulls him closer to himself; maybe he knows what worried Wei Ying as he keeps a comforting presence by his side. They walk to the Juniors standing ahead, who stop their whispers as soon as they get close. Wei Ying looks them over once again. They look at him with a slightly dazed look, but are steady on their feet. Wei Ying frowns, maybe it's the effects of leftover energy?

Jin Ling starts to say something about heading back to Jinlintai. As if Wei Ying would let him! It's almost midnight, and the night hunt has taken them to the far reaches of Gusu-Lan territory, a long trip of a couple days to Lanling-Jin territory. "None of that," Wei Ying chides, feeling like himself again. "Back to the village for all of us; Hanguang-jun needs to make sure there are no lingering effects."

Jin Ling half-scowls, but doesn't deny or try to argue back, and there's a blur as Sizhui all but pulls Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji into a hug. Jin Ling sees Sizhui’s shoulders shake slightly and he looks away. Terrifying situation or not, that illusion had felt all too real. It was as if it were Hanguang-jun standing before them, the mannerism, the voice, how he...he—

Before he can think more he feels a pull at his wrist and he feels the warmth of another person around him. He hears Jingyi make a startled noise as the other two are also pulled into a clustered little group hug. Jin Ling’s face flushes red and he opens his mouth to protest but doesn't push them away.

“You're safe,” Wei Ying says, as the teens start to pull away after a few moments. If a few of them have reddened eyes, or barely-there tear tracks down their cheeks, neither he nor Lan Zhan mention it.

"Aiya," he gives Sizhui an extra pat on the head, a smile finally pulling at his face as he takes in the juniors' despondent looks. "What is all this? I would think someone died if I came upon you all like this! Come now, back to the village.”

"Wei Ying!" Lan Zhan calls suddenly and Wei Ying doesn't understand why. He looks up at his husband, only to see his eyes shining with concern, perhaps even some panic.

"What? Lan Zha—"

An abrupt wave of dizziness overcomes him and he falters, feeling something dripping down his nose. He touches his upper lip shakily, his limbs starting to feel heavy. His vision swims and Lan Zhan catches him immediately as he sways forward. Something cold is settling within him. "Lan Zhan," he croaks. His vision is turning black from the corner of his eyes, and Lan Zhan is saying something but he can't hear it, it’s muffled and sounds so far away.

Wei Ying hates the feeling that floods him, the wave of cold dread that he hasn't felt in a long time. His hair stands up as he feels ghosts of the touches. They linger on the back of his neck, his face, his arms where the corpse had touched him, among the distant noises, he hears a clear, sharp "Wei Ying," but it sounds so odd, so unfamiliar despite it being his husband’s voice and that's when he crumples, losing all control of his limbs.

The cheer and safety of mere moments before has fled, and Wei Ying can't stamp out the panic that grips him as his breath hitches. He's vaguely aware, as if he is not truly in possession of his own body anymore, that his sweet husband, his Lan Zhan, has pulled his body up into his arms.

That awareness lessens even more as Lan Zhan's distant, warped voice sends out some sharp commands, and then he feels the slap of wind on his face and something isn't right. His senses are fading but he has practiced dual cultivation with Lan Zhan for several years now. He's intimately familiar with his husband's core. Something isn't right because—

—they're running. The wind is against his face. He remembers the trapped look of despair. His husband commands the children but something isn't right. He's leaving something behind. The arms carrying him are familiar but recognition slips him and he becomes increasingly aware as a sharp pain increases from his arm and he gasps, because it feels as if fire is under his skin, it moves from his arm and reaches up to his neck and it increases. Wei Ying has always had a large tolerance to pain, but he is in little control and he cannot stop himself as he lets out a pained scream, the wind feels faster as Lan Zhan—

—not right, not right, not right—

—he wakes up to the dark wood and white paint of the Cloud Recesses. He does not move, cataloging his body, the sensations, what he remembers. There was an oppressive feeling of pain, of wrongness, that is now mostly gone. Did they fly back? How long has it been?

He feels like he's forgetting something, forgetting; he thinks it over, the body, the pain, and reaches up his arm and sure enough, there are bright red marks, beginning from his arm, spreading out like spilled ink on paper, they resemble a spiders web as they crawl upwards, up along until they disappear into his clothes and he had no doubt they reach till his neck. What about his face? He reaches up to try and touch but before he can, the door slides open as Lan Zhan steps through.

Wei Ying's entire focus shifts towards the Second Jade. Lan Zhan looks pristine as always, calm like nothing can disturb him. His movements are steady, unhurried. He sets his things aside and walks into the Jingshi casually. There's no trace of urgency or worry in him. Wei Ying feels his heart grow cold. His Lan Zhan wouldn't have been as calm, nor would his Lan Zhan look at him the way it did, unmoving and—the same way that thing had.

"Lan Zhan" comes and sits by his bed, eyes lock over him, dark and amber. "Wei Ying," he—it—reaches up a hand, and cradles his cheek, the same way his husband did. Except, its thumb inches towards lips and it is colder than ice. Wei Ying acts unbothered, showing a soft smile as he puts his hand over the one on his face.

"I'm fine, Lan Zhan!" he says softly. The suspicion grows when he remembers the red veining on his body, when he realizes that the touch isn't as tangible as it should be.

Touching the creature's hand feels like holding a dust mote, and he abruptly realizes that he isn't sure if this even is the Jingshi. It is the same pristine colors, of course, but their possessions seem blurred, as if only half-existing. There is no familiar, comforting scent of sandalwood. Is it an illusion? A dream? Is this creature a figment of his imagination? Or is it something else? He tries to access his core and can't grasp anything. He tries to summon resentful energy but it slips through his fingers like water. His only choice is to get information.

"What happened?" he asks in a soft tone he reserves for his husband. He angles his body to be welcoming, like he would with Lan Zhan. None of his actions give any indication of his suspicions. "Are the children safe?"

Lan Zhan nods, "They're safe. Lan Xichen is looking after them and a healer is examining them. You are the only one to be harmed. We do not know the nature of your injuries—" Verbose. Too verbose. Lan Xichen, not xiongzhang or Xichen. Even his imagination wouldn't conjure an illusion so inaccurate. This isn't just a simple case of his mind making things up.

The last thing he remembers is Lan Zhan, his Lan Zhan sending waves of spiritual energy and holding him close, so he can rest assured his body is safe. The hand slips from his cheek, as the "Lan Zhan"—no, the corpse, raises his chin making him look directly at it.

"What is Wei Ying thinking of?" it croons and Wei Ying looks away from it, and bites his lip as way of disguising his eyes roaming over the interior of the Jingshi, now that he looks carefully, the arrangement of the bed, the dresser, everything is out of order—the hand on his chin tightens, "Wei Ying, I'm right here."

The meaning is subtle, and Wei Ying turns to it, his expression as if hesitant, "I..I'm worried about the kids.." he takes on a concerned expression, not entirely faked, "Can you take me to see them?"

A pulse of Lan Zhan's--his Lan Zhan's spiritual energy abruptly floods him, and then is gone. It is a miracle he is able to keep his expression level and unbothered by it, but he's beginning to put the pieces together. He needs to keep the creature distracted, talking.

"Wei Ying," the creature wearing Lan Zhan's body says, almost chiding, "they need their rest, and you need your own rest. I am here with you; do not worry about them for the time being.”

Wei Ying knows it isn't the right time to push. He decides on a different approach, "You know how I get when there's a mystery to solve, Lan Zhan!" he protests with a playful smile, "You can't expect me to rest without any explanation? What happened? How did I get hurt? What did the healers say?" Simple questions, things he would've asked Lan Zhan in any case.

There's a lingering heat of Lan Zhan's qi swirling around within him, too weak to actually heal him or bring him out of this state, but enough to sharpen his perception and remove his pain. He knows his husband is trying to save him and there's no person more capable than his Lan Zhan. Something in him settles at that. Let Lan Zhan work from the outside to resolve the situation. Wei Ying will work from the inside to get more information.

The expression that crosses the corpse's face, of being caught off-guard, seems so foreign on Lan Zhan's face, but it composes itself and lets go of his chin, and seems to contemplate before deciding on an expression of utmost gentleness and care. "This," it says, as it reaches to touch the back of his neck, where one of the webbings must be, "is a mark of possession." A hint of darkness, desire, flashes in its eyes, "It means Wei Ying's qi has been flooded with another’s—" Wei Ying tenses, but the corpse has no suspicion in its eyes, meaning it was referring to that moment in the forest—"and Wei Ying is one of the few who have been able to reject it, so these," it reaches down to his arm, tracing over the red, "remain as a reminder." It looks enthralled, pleased even.

And Wei Ying feels his lips press flat. "I don't like them at all!" He pretends to whine, shows how he absolutely abhors the idea of it, feeling satisfied when it frowns in displeasure. "I don't like any marks other than the ones Lan Zhan makes,” he adds, looking at the corpse through his lashes.

Its facade almost slips, with the anger appearing on its face, and Wei Ying fights back a smug smile when another rush of his husband's warm spiritual energy wraps around him. The corpse-creature's face blurs for a moment, with that rush of qi, but then resettles. It looks distinctly displeased, though it tries to mask the expression with one of fondness that looks laughably fake. Wei Ying does not laugh.

"If my Lan Zhan wanted to make some marks," Wei Ying says coyly, trailing off in a suggestive manner. The creature seems to freeze and flicker, as if it is wholly unsure of what to do with that. And Wei Ying pulls back just as the corpse makes a hesitant hand gesture and says, softly, "Of course I'm joking Lan Zhan, you know your Wei Ying, I can't relax until I see the kids, and—" he adds seeing it fume "—you too, I know you're worried about them but they're strong! So they'll be fine!"

Wei Ying finishes his 'assurance' and Lan Zhan succeeds. There's a towering surge of qi coursing through him, ready to pull him back, his to command. By now, he is so familiar with his husband's qi that he can use it as his own. He sees how it makes the creature's eyes widen and falter. He smiles coyly, tapping his chin as the binds holding him to this place snap one by one.

"Now, who are you, my dear friend?" he asks as Lan Zhan's power unseals his own. The core he has cultivated so diligently pulses with power and the remaining binds disintegrate. Before the illusionary world around him can disappear, he reaches forward and slams a palm against the creature's chest, a smile of triumph curling at his lips.

"There you are," he whispers and drags them both to the real world that awaits them. His eyes flicker towards the real Lan Zhan, who looks pale and strikingly furious, and smirks coyly, "Lan Zhan! Someone had the audacity to steal your Wei Ying from you!"

The fury in his husband's eyes brightens into an inferno ready to destroy the most powerful of foes, and Wei Ying can't help but quiver in delight, in satisfaction. No words are needed between them, their souls and actions in perfect harmony. The creature that had taken him, and now is beholden to him, collapses and rebuilds itself, now not in Lan Zhan's form but again the form of the corpse he and the juniors had first encountered. It tries to fight against his power, but it stands no chance.

Lan Zhan steps forward, Bichen already unsheathed and ready to cut the corpse down, but Wei Ying shakes his head. He turns to the corpse, "Now, my friend, let's figure out what you are."

Wei Ying slams a talisman on the creature's chest and watches in satisfaction as it binds the creature completely. It squirms and tries to break the binds but to no avail. Seeing that the prisoner is secure, the juniors, healthy and hale, rush forward, gathering around him in concern.

Wei Ying smiles and meets Lan Zhan's eyes over their heads. 'Ah,' He thinks with something like heat curling in him, 'still furious.'

Indeed, Lan Zhan is furious. His eyes are dark and tracking all of Wei Ying's movements. His smile takes on an edge and he tilts his head to the side, baring his neck just slightly. Lan Zhan's eyes narrow and lips thin.

"Aiya," he pats the children indulgently, "Let your senior go, your Hanguang-jun is getting impatient."

The juniors flush red, and mutter excuses to leave. Wei Ying looks at Lan Zhan and reaches forward to pull him, but that movement shifts his sleeve to show the red markings and he finds his arm in the other’s grasp as Lan Zhan pulls him closer, so Wei Ying’s weight is entirely on his body as if he's hugging him. He's startled.

"Ah, Lan Zhan what're you—" he cuts off mid-sentence as Lan Zhan curls one hand around his waist, holding him close, and the other raises his hair, letting air brush against his nape. The sensation tingles; Lan Zhan knows his weak spot and with the energy flow from earlier it's sensitive, and Wei Ying flushes figuring out—"Lan Zhan, wait, wait—Ah!!"

His back arches and he shivers as Lan Zhan’s lips infused with spiritual energy land on his neck and he continues with a sharp bite, one that lets Wei Ying know just how displeased his husband is, how worried he had been and how thankful he now is that they are safe. Wei Ying can't help the squeak that comes from him at the action, but he is not hurt. The bite is followed by a tender kiss, one that spreads his husband's spiritual energy through him, chasing away the redness of the spider-webbed marks on his arms, filling him with comfort and at the same time lighting a fire in him.

"Wei Ying is careless," Lan Zhan says, lips moving against Wei Ying's skin when he doesn't even pull away to speak, "I have been worried, Wei Ying was gone, alone."

He says the last part softly but Wei Ying hears it anyway with their bodies together, he can feel his warmth, their heartbeats and breaths mingling together, he can feel him and Wei Ying feels at ease, Lan Zhan’s words make his heart ache, 'Aish his beloved', "Lan-er-gege," he begins, his voice mellow and teasing, "Lan-er-gege, I felt you," he says, tracing Lan Zhan's back with his fingers as his breathing hitches. "I wasn't alone,” he finishes.

After waiting for a moment to soak in the comfort, Wei Ying leans back and looks at his husband, before leaning in to pull him into a kiss Lan Zhan leans into him, desperate and fierce. A strong arm curls around his back, holding onto him tightly. Wei Ying feels fond as he cups his husband's face, making soothing noises in the back of his throat even as the kiss grows heated. He pulls away with a gasp, chuckling when Lan Zhan doesn't let go, dipping his head to kiss along his jaw, "Aiya, husband, we're in public. Your uncle could arrive any moment now."

Lan Zhan doesn't let go and Wei Ying yelps when sharp teeth sink into his flesh once again, "How cruel to your poor Wei Ying!"

"It would seem you're well, Wuxian," An amused voice interrupts them and Wei Ying startles, looking beyond his beloved to see Lan Xichen watching them in amusement. Wei Ying pushes Lan Zhan away and, this time, his husband parts with him reluctantly to bow to their brother. There's not even an ounce of shame on his beloved's face and Wei Ying feels flushed. How unfair.

He turns to greet Lan Xichen. "Da baizi! Yes, I'm okay!" Lan Wangji's arm around him tightens and Wei Ying squirms slightly. Their robes are already in a complete state of disarray. "Lan Zhan!" he whispers though he's pretty sure it’s still loud, and, sure enough, he hears a chuckle as Lan Xichen shakes his head slightly.

"That's a relief," he smiles at them, which Wei Ying returns just as bright, "I will not hold you up further," he says gently, and adds a joyful and teasing, "I'll go let Uncle know."

To not disturb you is left unsaid as he turns to leave and Wei Ying hides his face in Lan Zhan's neck as he hums in agreement, completely unrepentant. "Lan Zhaaaan" but doesn't say anything else as the door closes. The smile remains on his face; everyone is home safe, Wei Ying is happy, and it all feels right once again.

#storytime with bunnies #mdzs fic #wangxian #mdzs juniors #wei wuxian #lan wangji #lan sizhui #lan jingyi #jin ling #post canon #wei wuxian and the juniors #justdoityoufucker #vrishchika

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thetaoofbetty · 3 years

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Do you think the time jump was necessary?

honestly? yes.

however, i am an admitted time jump lover. so, you know. there's that. i've also watched a lot of shows totally end up trying (and then forgetting about) college so i think having them be closer to their real ages on the show was a smart decision. that doesn't mean i think the way they've done the time jump is the best. there's been a lot of exposition for a plot that was solved once they let bughead work on it for more than 30 seconds when they could have shown more emotional beats of the characters mixed in with some levity to lighten some of nonstop misery of s5.

i think we're always going to have some unanswered questions (and i feel like someone said they were taking the tbk into s6 so we'll get to that when we get to it) when it comes to parts of the storyline but i'm down for what they have given us (showing us that bughead was in contact over those years, them texting like they were hanging out while back in riverdale—that's just fic opportunities for us, you know?) and even tho parts of the fandom are still sitting on high school problems, i'm not and i'm ready for them to get past all of it.

more anons below the cut:

listen, evan has no business entertaining someone who rants in his dms like that. that's...ridiculous. he's a grown ass man who should be acting professionally, not doing whatever it is he's doing.

i have no idea what he said about b/a before the episode or why he felt the need to do that (engagement???) but it doesn't matter what he means by it, he's a known liar. him baiting them isn't even up for debate, it's something he knowingly does and they keep going back to him for info like this time will have a totally different outcome.

i'm not saying that b/a won't happen (in regards to spoilers we've heard), i'm saying that as an adult who works with teenagers, i find it weird and cringe and totally unprofessional and in the end, when bugvarchoni is back together and they're yelling at evan, he will have created the environment in which he is received.

basically, he did this to himself and if i were his boss and i found out he was handing out spoilers (or outright lying about them) in dms, he'd be updating his resume right about now.

they needed to rewrite riverdale history to make the palladium storyline make more sense? i don't know, man. i don't care much about hiram (i don't care much about any of the parents tbh).

no idea but yooo, let's not get my hopes up like that. tho i feel like we saw her in s6 bts? maybe? i think? i don't remember. but also, alice is trash but i also don't want betty to lose almost every family member she has (the blossom mothman inbreeding program notwithstanding) so i vote she retires and goes off to live somewhere (with uncle frank) for the foreseeable future.

#besos!#anonymous #riverdale spoilers #riverdale speculation #anti b*rchie #and evan #because now they're synonymous

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mechanicalinertia · 2 years

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STMPD Anti-Recommends Bubblegum Crisis Fanfiction: Grab Bag!

That's right, I'm throwing my sanity to the window and reviewing a host of harmlessly bad BGC fanfics from Usenet, FF.Net, and elsewhere. These are fanfictions which are just stupid or boring or irredeemable, they aren't bad in an interesting or bile-rising way. But they exist, and so I will now poke fun at them.

And yes, this came about because I couldn't bear to read more of Bert Van Bilet's Bubblegum Zone, one of the most famous BGC fanfics out there, but terrible in my eyes. The problem with having to review things you remember as being bad is that you have to go back and double-check, you know? Anyway, links under the cut.

Silicon Valley 2033: A gloriously stupid fanfic that can't seem to decide if it's a comedy or not. Takes place in San Fran, where the Sabers have all gathered coincidentally for various reasons.

Zax Kirkbride, manly man with a super cool 'Darksuit', which isn't hard but has borderline magical powers, is a thing; he berates Leon constantly for being stupid and not being as hardcore badass as Real American Cops and constantly berates the Sabers for not speaking English. (One would have thought Leon was an American import himself. I've always liked the idea of him being the most Californian man in Megatokyo.) Also it turns out Fargo was a secret agent for the French this whole time, who are plotting something sinister and undefined. I dunno. Stuff happens, Zax is annoying in the way that the author thinks is supposed to be badass, Largo's in there somewhere, it's 15K words. It's not bland, but it's not fun either. It walks that razor line between based and cringe.

Eh, I'd say read it. It's almost funny. Almost.

Tales of the Red Knight Saber: So this one's from 1996, of all things. Weirdly enough, its followup The Esper Chronicles appears to have been written before it? Or this one was edited later on. It changes the name of the other Overpowered Male Borderline Self Insert from the Esper Chronicles to sound more like a Dragon Ball character (pretty sure he even put in an author’s note encouraging readers to imagine said character as looking that way), except then Mackie also has a hardsuit in Esper Chronicles, the one he gets here? Whatever. I’m past the point of caring at this point,

Anyway, this one takes other fanfiction as canon, namely the Bubblegum Zone (eh) and Tokyo Babylon (ew), so Bert is a thing, and Mackie is just coming into his own with his own mental powers the way Celia is. So of course he goes to high school, beats up a bully or two, builds his own hardsuit, and Celia refuses to let him do anything with it. So he just blasts open the garage door, caring little for his sister's wishes, kills some Boomers, and now he's on the team.

Celia comes off as the scold she does in Bubblegum Zone (ugh), Mackie's super cool by the standards of a writer who's obviously in high school, and then a fucking psychic shows up because of course he does. One yearns for it all to stop.

Good lord, and the spelling and grammar are atrocious, like borderline My Immortal atrocious. Like, pull-your-teeth-out atrocious. Alas, Robert Pool (whadda name!)'s prequel is even worse.

The Esper Chronicles: This one is borderline incoherent in its first few 'parts', I swear to fucking god. It seems to think it's a script fic, but then the author doesn't follow that format very well, then drops it entirely in the later parts. It also keeps cutting in with useless author notes with emoticons included trying to explain shit Pool really should have just put in the beginning of a given part.

Anyway, our new OPMBSIMC (I’m only going to use this acronym once again I promise) is Locke Sommerville, who is a, get ready for this, a psychic. Like, Akira levels of psychic power. He also has a perpetual smirk on his face, as so many of these Badass Male Protagonists must.

Anyway, he's Leon's partner, they go to see the chief and, uh... hold up. Here's a quote:

"she noticed that Leon was occupying his desk and looking like he was ready for death- although not as bad as that time after when Priss sexually abused him (see "a very speacial BGC fanfic for more info. I plan to make a follow up to that story called "leon and priss" in the future if its author doesn't mind). he was having a terrible day."

Dude. What the fuck.

It gets dumber. Turns out Locke's psychic powers (esper powers, whatever, I don't care) manifested when he was in high school with Sylia and Priss, so they're childhood friends... and so are Sylia and Priss. How, you ask? Well, the guy probably never saw Asu E Touchdown's music video where the two meeting was shown however briefly. So let's just throw that aside, gloss over the usual "manly man saves girly girl from rape-muggers who want to 'have some fun'" cliche... yes, let's just forget that ever happened. Far funnier is the fact that the resurrected Largo's Base Of Evil Operations is literally styled like a gothic castle on the inside, all red carpet and dark stone. I think that's incredibly, almost stupidly funny.

Crusade of Vengeance: This is one of those fics where the writing is good enough to not obstruct the stupidity of the plot and descriptions of things. This time, our OPMBSIMC (jesus that’s a mouthful) is one Matt Vidor, son of another scientist killed by GENOM. With him and his team of rogue black-ops commandos using M32 assault rifles - wait.

Hold on. Oh, they’re M16 mark two’s, the author says as much in parentheses. Because doubling the numbers doesn’t instead get you an already extant weapon, namely the Milkor MGL, the big blooper-y grenade launcher that video games love so much. Okay, for an ammosexual whose MacGuffin is a do-anything gunship that was supposed to be the next-generation of US Military murder machine, you aren’t very good at the appropriate wanking.

Anyway, they break into this one warehouse, and steal the Vidor gunship and its accompanying hardsuit, described as Boba Fett’s armor but double-sized. No. Literally. Parentheses again. And the gunship is described as larger than a Chinook, and that's about it. Supposedly between the two one could level Megatokyo... which I doubt. Only so much ammo on even a big gunship, you know?

So our boy (not using that acronym again, fuck that noise) gets his gear effortlessly, kills good ol' Kate Madigan (of all the roles she usually plays in fanfic, dying to establish our boy's badassery isn't one. color me surprised), and escapes. Then he and his mentor hang out at Hot Legs, grumble about GENOM, get ogled by Linna and Nene (even though our Gary Stuart is supposed to be 'barely out of his teenage years'), and that's it. It's three thousand words of nothing, but worth reading over the course of ten minutes just to laugh-cringe at.

================================================

There was no point to this. I'm so sorry.

#stmpd reviews bgc fanfic #fanfic anti rec #bubblegum crisis #fanfiction #bgc #cringe

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