#but then i see a picture of her face. her beautiful smile-like-sunshine fucking face. at MY FUCKING BAR. n i'm thrown back into deep sadnes

[protectcosette]

ok im done pretending im over her. this breakup shit sucks

#breakup posting #certified protectcosette original #was looking through friends snapchat stories and accidentally swiped to hers #ive been able to distract myself somewhat for the past couple weeks? like it's literally been fifteen days #and i've been able to keep in mind just how bad she was at replying to texts the whole fucking time we were dating. #but then i see a picture of her face. her beautiful smile-like-sunshine fucking face. at MY FUCKING BAR. n i'm thrown back into deep sadnes #like. i can't listen to any of the songs that i had on her playlist. i can't go to any of the places we went together. #we went to the library on our last date and it took me a week to be able to pick the book i got while we were there back up again #but she can still go to my places where i go every week and know all the bartenders just fine? what the hell #it makes sense. she specifically said that i liked her more than she liked me when she dumped me. but that doesnt make it hurt less

[fillinforlater]

Two Selfies and a GIF

Male Reader x Naoi Rei

Length: 2341 words

Tags: lovers on vacation, teasing and tempting, public sex, blowjob, overstimulation, face fuck, gagging, standing sex, anal, sweat, body appreciation, anal creampie, thrill of maybe getting caught

TW: sex in a public space, also barely any editing

Inspiration: an ask from quite some time ago

(A/N: I hope this fic makes you say Holy Moly. @writerpeach because he wanted another Rei piece lol)

“Another sunny day! <3 Hope to see you all soon~”

You jump from your bed. Most of the time, you have no clue where the feeling of deja vu comes from, but this one is still palpable. A year ago, you were on vacation with Rei on some warm, small island nation, blessed with endless sunshine and she sent a similar selfie with a similar caption. Her hair was still brown back then, if your memory serves you right. 

Unlike last time however, you can’t dig straight into her cute pussy. Rei is not on the bed beside you, although that’s where she took the picture. In fact, she’s not even in the hotel room anymore. You check the washroom a final time before looking back down on your phone.

“Where are you?”

“By~ the~ pool~”

The phone has yet to disappear in the pockets of your shorts when you’ve already stormed out of the empty hotel room and towards the elevators. Alright, she said something about going to the pool, you remember, but you didn’t even notice that she took the selfie earlier. Hopefully this won’t end in a chase of never ending teases because you missed the moment she was horny and right next to you. 

You jump out of the elevator and across the lobby, both staff and visitors confused by your hurried, hectic behavior given the calm, vacation atmosphere. Your urgent need to feel your girlfriend's body, to see that face, adorned by beautiful blonde hair, with thick lips and a lewd glint in her eyes, it’s easily overtaking your desire of being perceived as normal. 

“By the pool isn’t accurate enough,” you puff and pant while your eyes go over the many, many pools and parasols and people. It seems Rei isn’t in the water or on one of the loungers, so you once again reach for your phone—just to be greeted by a couple of private messages.

“Still need you to fill these cheeks~ or did you mean my other cheeks?!”

The wink, the tongue bite, the v-pose. She can never post this picture or else all those horny fanboys would blow infinite loads to it (not like they aren’t already doing it; don’t kid yourself). It’s sexy, tempting, only meant for you. You know what she wants, what she needs, what you promised her, yet she continues to play with you.

Until suddenly, another message. A third selfie? Even better.

“I hope you remember where this is~”

The changing booths by the pool. The unmistakable brown walls and baby blue curtains. Rei has complained about their design choice on the day of your arrival, now she’s there doing tik-tok-instagram-dance-challenge-thingys, flaunting what you’ve been craving. Needless to say you sprint there as fast as possible, disregarding all the warning signs about slipper tiles or blissfully ignorant tourists. 

You’re on your way to bliss, and nothing will stop you.

Rei sticks out among the few people in the area. Her tall figure, her blonde hair, not a second later and you get a hold on her shoulders and drag her into the next booth. The Japanese girl doesn’t even seem fazed. 

“There you are,” she sultrily says, eyes on yours through the mirror wall. Good heavens, you forgot about that thing. It’s going to be so much fun. With a single swoop you close the curtain and take a closer look at Rei’s fuckable body through the mirror.

“You look to good not to fuck,” you groan and pinch her cheeks, looking at her duckface, mesmerized by how plump her lips are, how good they will feel. Rei winks again and your hand is already past the waistband of your shorts. “Get on your knees, now.”

Rei’s smile is horny when she pulls down your shorts while getting on eye level with your cock, which jumps free and barely, sadly misses her face with the removal of your briefs. Rei spits in her hand and pumps you, focused on every inch of your hot rod. Suddenly, before any annoyance can urge you to do it yourself, she puts you on her lips. A heavy push that sends you back against the wall later, you're inside her and have to bite a lip to not groan out every profanity known to mankind. 

Feel her tongue swirl around your cockhead while an expression of determination forms on her face. You can see that she is already planning ahead on how to make this the best head she’s ever given you. Rei has an amazing bitch face, but it also fills you with thread. You have to surrender to her mouth, her lips, her tongue—now her hands that grab your hips and then—

“Oh, fuck, ouh fuck!”

Rei slams her head back and forth, your cock going in and out almost fully with every single repetition, while she gags and slobbers on every centimeter she forces into herself. A bizarre thing, face fucking herself on you, for your pleasure, yet you are about to wince for mercy. Rei’s mouth is perfect, but it’s all too fast, without warning she grinds the top, then the back of her tongue on your sensitive slit. You leak, you hiss, you struggle to stand or think.

“Re-Rei, t-too much, fuck.”

Rei pops you free from her lips, but they look eager to go back to it and apply even more pressure on your cock. She firmly holds the base of your dick and glares at you.

“Then do it yourself, pussy. Fill my cheeks already.”

It’s like she’s given you the controller to a video game back; though this is vastly superior than anything you have ever played. You pull at her hair, force her to cry out before flailing backwards against the opposite wall of the booth. This time you lay your cock on her lips on your own merit. 

“I’ll make you take that back.”

Pry her slutty mouth open, hope she is ready for impact and make her entire body convulse when you slam your pelvis into her face. The feeling of her tight, gagging throat is a lot different when you're in control, not better, not worse, though you like that Rei can take your roughness so well.

You close your eyes and begin to thrust, rarely giving her time to breathe, never giving yourself time to rest. The generously wet expedition into Rei's throat both feels like finding something new and being at home. A familiar warm feeling and alien sounds, your girlfriend's deepthroats are one of a kind.

Rei is opportunistic, her tongue now out of her mouth, receiving hits by your balls as you continue to fuck her face. It's one of those days apparently, when she is for some damn reason completely enamored with your sac. Maybe she likes the hisses that escape your lips because of the extra stimulation, maybe she is just impatient and wants what's inside of them.

When her already generously big and round cheeks are the biggest and roundest, you finally pull out and let her cough out the pool of saliva, two smaller pools underneath her eyes are also letting loose. You smack her purple-blue lips with your stiff length.

"I thought you could take it," you laugh at a set of coughs by Rei.

"I, hng, thought you'd fill my cheeks.

"Loser."

"Okay, get up."

Cheeky grin on her lips, Rei pushes herself off the ground and you push up something of your own, her tight crop top. You struggle to get the white fabric over her bountiful tits, but she is quick to help you by stretching out her arms high in the air. After a couple of tugs, you see the two massive melons bounce freely—or not. Two laughably tiny patches of silk, connected to each other and Rei’s neck form a bikini that is definitely too sexy for this pool, for any pool. 

“You really wanted to go out there wearing this?” you question, a finger already hooked in one of the patches.

“No, that’s why I’m still here~”

“Then it’s confiscated.”

A single pull and the bikini top falls off as if spider webs held it together. Now they are free, Rei’s magnificent melons, round like her cheeks, soft like her thighs, the nipples stiff like you. Before you give them a squeeze however, you surprise your girlfriend by roughly yanking up her skirt to above her hips. Rei yelps and loses her balance, but one of her hands finds safety on the mirror, mirror on the wall.

“Very unlike you to not go straight for my chest,” Rei teases, her voice still stable though her stand becomes a lot less stable when you get behind her and plant her firmly in front of the mirror. Now she needs both hands to not fall over with how you manhandle her light yet astoundingly thick frame. 

“They will get enough appreciation later.” Put emphasis on these words by nibbling her ear. She trembles in excitement.”I want to hear you say it again.”

“Say what again?” Rei once more teases, as you hook a finger into the flimsy excuse of a thong she’d call a stylish bikini, ready to reveal both her aroused entrances. “Oh, that. 

“I need you to fill my ass cheeks with your sticky load, pretty please.”

So fake, so lewd, yet so incomparably preposterous. The moment her bikini bottom falls down her long legs, Rei presses her bottom against your cock and it takes barely any effort for you to get it inside her. Talking about bottom, you're close to bottoming out, but Rei’s cute yet also growling cry has you scrambling to find something to gag her. You’re still in public, she can’t be that loud. All you find is the pathetic bikini, which you shove into her pretty little mouth. 

“I’m going to fuck you good, but keep it down,” you groan into her ear and give in to the risky, yet irresistible desire to plow her ass. Rei is trying her best, munching and soaking the green in her mouth rather than screaming out your name. You’ll buy her a new, better bikini after this anyways. If she’d ran around in that thing for more than a minute, then you’d need to fuck her the rest of your vacation and that would be—wait, would you even mind that?

You’d do it like this all day long, her wrists in your grasp, her body slightly tilted towards the mirror while you watch her tits bounce with every thrust into her tight back entrance. Rei is at your mercy, only upright because you want to. Each inch you pull out has her scrambling for footing, but you gladly give them back to her, into her, to the point where exactly this has her knees buckling. 

“Fuck you’re so… suffocating,” you mumble, the heat from your crotch spread up to your head long ago. The same goes for Rei: a hand on her freely jumping tits confirms it. Her eyes roll into the back of her head when you roll a nipple in between two lazy fingers. It’s not much, but you swear it made her even tighter and less stable. 

You lift a leg of hers, feel the sweaty meat of her full thigh make your hand sink deep. It reminds you of a pillow, a comfortable bed—now a waterbed because her orgasm is wet. Rei surrenders her beautiful back onto your chest, eyes closed, mouth ready to voice her pleasure but she has to keep it shut. Outside are people, laughing, gossiping, going about their lives. And in here, you recklessly pound in the still sensitive Rei.

It’s incredible how she still relaxes around you, how easy it is to fill her with a girthy cock. Honest to God, it has you tripping, forward, against the cold mirror. Rei spits out her bikini-gag when her hard nubs touch the reflective surface. You’d stop her ensuing moans from escaping her mouth, but you have to hold onto her thigh and breast. There are just not enough hands to touch every perfect part of her body—and her lips are definitely on that list.

Your orgasm is nigh, hence why you thrust frantically, the claps of a nye pelvis on nye ass now also louder than any background noise if someone is close enough. You can already hear the murmurs from behind the curtains. Someone whispers about hearing weird sounds—you have to bust before you get busted.

Rei’s fishnet-covered foot crawls up a wall. Fucking is now easier, so you put in the final gear and reach for her hips to to smash her back into you. Everything is too loud, too lewd; Rei’s expression, your expression, your combined groans, all the sweaty and love juice trailing down your legs—

The connection of your cock in her ass as if explodes on the final thrust you can muster up. Rei’s anal cavity is stretched and now stuffed to the fullest to the point where pulling out will cause a mess of cataclysmic proportions. You have to stay inside her for longer, plug up the cum filled hole as it sluttily clenches around your sensitive cock. 

“Fuck, that was perfect,” Rei groans, her body limp between you and the mirror. You look at her and smile for a second. That round face, adorable, makes for great selfies and family pictures. Mere moments ago, it was drooling and moaning uncontrollably. The duality of Rei.

“Yeah, but how the fuck do we clean this up?” you ask, hands mindlessly on your girlfriend's chest.

“I don’t know, I haven't planned for this scenario. I thought you’d fuck my face and I could swallow it all and then you could fill my ass in the hotel room.”

“Well, we can still do that, but we now need to get out of here.” You try to think for a second before your eyes fall on the fallen bikini thong on the floor. You stop massaging Rei’s breasts and instead reach for her pussy, wet and flushed. “By the way, what was your goal with that ‘bikini’?”

“O-oh, you really don’t like it?”

“It’s just that I wouldn’t be able to help myself but fuck you if you wore that. It’s way too revealing. I don’t want anyone seeing the pussy I fuck and the ass I fill and the tits I fondle—”

“So you want no one seeing me?” Rei moans softly when you rub her clit.

“Yes, cause I love you so fucking much, Rei.”

“Ts, looooser~”

#kpop smut #female idol smut #girl group smut #male reader insert #ive smut #rei smut #naoi rei smut

[gucciwins]

Can you write one where Harry accidentally posts a photo of y/n on his story. But she hasn’t noticed yet and when he comes home he just keeps apologizing but she doesn’t really mind.

Okay…you didn’t say harry and bel but that’s where my brain went through. So here’s a little something. roughly 1kish 💜

+

Harry thought social media was a nice way to connect with fans, but he mostly used it to post on his stories to show his friends new documentaries he was watching, his favorite wine, and new songs his girlfriend was always showing him. It was his own private world that only his close friends could see. 

His girlfriend was busy at work today working on a photo shoot with a friend’s new lipstick line and needed Bel to be a test subject, and she was more than happy to help. Harry was sitting in the studio listening to everyone’s thoughts on their new song when he heard his phone ring. Harry can’t help the smile that takes over his face when he sees Bel’s contact name. 

Bel: what do you think? 

He stares at the attached photo of you posed in front of the mirror, a seductive look on your face, and he knows that look well. Fuck. He wants to be there with you giving you everything you could ever dream of. 

Harry: You’re the most beautiful person in the world. I’ve convinced you’re an angel. 😭😘 xx

Harry: How’d I get so lucky xx

Bel: stopppp 🙈 xx

Bel: love you, mi vida. will see you when you get home xx

Home. 

You loved his house. 

You saw it as home. He’s been wanting you to move in for ages, but you always were hesitant. Now slowly, he’s noticed you bring more items over, you’ve made less effort to spend equal time in both your homes and, instead, happily stay in his large house that has begun to feel even more of a home with you around. 

Harry was so lost in his head, staring at the photo you sent, that he decided to share it with his friends. He did it often, sharing pictures of you both or you alone happily showing you off. He was always careful to add it to his private story. Harry captioned it: pretty girl. He added a yellow sticker of the sun that read, “you are my sunshine” as Harry was adding it to his story Tom called for him. He locked his phone and focused on Tom and Mitch, who had been trying to get his attention for the last few minutes. 

“Sorry, I’m all yours now.” He promises. 

Mitch laughs, “oh wait until I tell Bel that,” he teased. 

Harry playfully shoved him, telling Mitch to play the track again. 

They got to work for ten minutes when all their phones started ringing simultaneously. Harry reached for his and was flooded with messages and calls. Mainly from Jeff and Viola. 

Shit.

This could not be good. 

“H, you posted on your story,” Mitch tells him. 

Harry is too focused on calling back Jeff to focus on what Mitch is saying. “Yeah, earlier.” 

“Jeff, what’s going on?” 

Jeff laughs, “H you posted Bel on your Instagram.” 

Harry rolls his eyes, “what else is new?”

“No, Harry. You’re not hearing me,” Jeff explains. “You posted her on your story for your 48 million followers on Instagram.” 

Harry gasps, “fuck.” 

He quickly hangs up on Jeff and opens Instagram, and around his name is a pink circle and not the usual green. Oh, he’s the worst. The world knew they were dating, but you sent him the photo privately, and he shared it for the world to see. He deleted the story but knew there was no point because there must be thousands of screenshots. 

“I-I need to go home. Fuck.” He runs a hand through his hair, not knowing what your reaction will be. “I need to apologize. Bel was on her way home.” 

Mitch gives him a pat on the back, “it’s Bel chances are she brushes it off like nothing.” 

Harry doesn’t want to risk any chances and rushes out of the studio. He tries calling you, but it goes straight to voicemail. “Come on, Bel.” He gets home in twenty minutes and is relieved when he spots your car in front. He hurries inside, throwing the door open, not bothering to slip off his shoes. Something you will chastise him for later. You’re caught by surprise by the door opening and Harry rushing in that you drop your book, and you know you’ll have trouble finding the page later. 

“Harry?” He hurries over to your side, worry etched all over his face. “Amor ¿qué pasa?”

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He kneels in front of you and holds your hand tight. “I didn’t mean to. I’ll do anything for you to forgive me.” 

You sit there, getting more confused by the minute. “H, what are you apologizing for?” 

Harry is so lost in his own head and repeating his apology that he doesn’t seem to hear a word you’re saying.

“Harry!” You raise your voice, and it’s enough to snap him out of the panic he’s put himself in. You soften, “baby, tell me what happened?”

Harry takes a deep breath, rubbing, bringing them close to his chest, needing it for comfort. You would do anything to see his dimpled smile. 

“I posted you on Instagram,” he shares, dejected. “On my public. Not the private one.” His voice sounds defeated, and you hate that something as a photo of you sent him into a panic. 

It breaks your heart, seeming him upset. You know it was an accident. Of course, you do. 

“H, want you to listen to me, okay?” Harry nods, keeping his emerald eyes focused on you. “I’m not mad or upset,” you assure him.

“You’re not?” 

You shake your head, “H, I saw it the minute you posted. I get your notifications. Sent you a text to check, but you didn't reply, so I assume you knew, and I let it be.”

Harry tilts his head, looking like a confused puppy. “You knew?” 

You let out a small laugh, “I did.”

“Why didn’t you answer my call?” You know he must have been referring to a few minutes ago on his way home. 

“Left it charging upstairs,” you apologize.

Harry sighs, letting his head drop into your lap. You run your hand through his hair and let him take however long he needs to let this all go. Although, you have the perfect idea to help him forget the incident. 

“I love you, Bel.” 

You repeat the sentiment, happy to have him home. 

“Do you want to make it up to me?” 

“Thought you weren’t upset,” he mutters.

You giggle, “no, I mean for scaring me for the way you barged inside.” 

Harry raises his head, an eyebrow raised, and waits for you to go on. “See, I happen to like this position we’re in. Except, it’d work better if I had less clothing on.” A smile spreads on Harry’s face, and you know this moment will be one you laugh about on a later date, but for now, this is the perfect distraction.

“I am so lucky to have you in my life, Bel.” He whispers as he helps remove your joggers. 

You feel the same way. 

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfic #harry styles love on tour #love on tour series #harry styles fic rec #harry fic rec #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff

[jakeyt]

Covet: Chapter 9 (Part 1 of 2)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great. 

Was. 

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home. 

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in. 

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: MINORS DNI (18+); angst; jealousy; negative self-talk; talks of miscarriage and hysterical pregnancy; allusions to childhood abuse; talks of pregnancy; extreme feelings of stress and anxiety; feelings of sadness; abandonment issues; therapy; talks of grieving a baby; pregnancy hormones (just the beginning lol); reader checking Jake out and being sad while she does it (lmao) (as usual, PLEASE lmk if i missed anything that is triggering to you!)

Chapter Word Count: 22.1k+

a/n: sorry it took a month, besties... hopefully this angsty fucking chapter makes up for it lmao <3

and don't worry, i won't be gone long ;)

Please enjoy the playlist as you read 🖤

-🌼🌼🌼-

“The covetous person is full of fear; and he or she will who lives in fear will ever be a slave.”

-Horace

-🌼🌼🌼-

October 30, 2022

Birds were chirping. The melodies of an acoustic guitar playing lullabies made your heart warm in your chest. A baby’s cries were being mellowed by the sound of the guitar. A smile, reaching the baby’s face that matched the one on the man playing the strings.

But you couldn’t look at him. Only the bundle of pure, unadulterated, untouched love in your arms; her eyes, looking the same as his, caught yours, the color of caramel coffee. . . twinkling just like his. . .

All pink and white and golden rays of sunshine.

Then, it was gone. 

No. Not again.

There was no more peace. No more lullabies. No more love from parent to child. . .

All dark and dirty and ear-piercing screams. 

A sister, trying to cover your eyes from what was happening, just inches in front of you.

Then there were hands. Hands gripping at your arms, the sister screeching, yelling and clawing for you as she got ripped away. As you got picked up so harshly your head hit something hard, making you dizzy. . . 

When you closed your eyes from the dizziness, you opened them afterwards to see that your sister was back. But she was older this time. 

Elsie. She was stunningly beautiful, as you knew she would grow up to be. Put together in an outfit that resembled that of Rachel Green. Her hair, flowing in strawberry blonde, soft waves around her delicate features and her blue eyes were wide open and wondering. Searching your eyes for something hidden in them. . .

What was she wanting? You couldn’t tell . . . Just as you were about to speak to ask her, she was in front of you, nudging you, not nearly as abrasively as the hands from before. 

You studied her quizzically – why was she–?

“Wake up!”

And the next time you blinked, your eyes were opened wide. 

To reality. To Elsie, shaking your arm in the present. You were an adult, she was an adult. Things were okay.

Life was safe again.

Shit. I’m so tired of that fucking dream, you thought angrily, sitting up and letting the covers fall away from your sweaty, tensed body. 

Blinking furiously, you let yourself cling to the softness— the safety of your bed. The bed hugged you, cocooned you in the fluffy down comforter. You were in your clean, quiet apartment. . . the rays peeking through your bedroom windows the same as they’d been at the beginning of your dream. 

“Sis,” Elsie said your name, out of all of her patience. “Come the fuck on. I’m hungry and I need coffee so bad. You know me. You know I’m about to lose all ability in my limbs if I don’t have caffeine stat–I need it. To survive,” she clutched her chest dramatically. “Please. Get your lazy ass up.”

You rolled your eyes with a giant huff, throwing your covers off of you to try and hit her with them. When you heard her gasp and slap at the covers, you figured you succeeded. 

“Y/n!” She said, backing up from the bed. When you saw her next, her hair was sticking up on all sides from static. Success. But she was laughing, finding it funny nonetheless. “You’re such a bitch.”

“Takes one to know one,” you said, sitting up to stretch a little. You had to fight the urge to put a hand to your tummy. Not in front of Elsie. “Now leave, I have to change.”

“I’ve seen you naked a million times before,” she argued. “Nothing I haven’t seen already.”

There sure as hell is something you haven’t seen on me already. . . Albeit a little small, but rounder nonetheless. 

“Well I don’t want you to look at my naked body this morning, so get the fuck out.”

You were getting irritated. Just wanted to change in peace. Wanted to hold your belly to start the day. It was routine at this point.

She growled, opening your door. “You have five minutes, or I’m leaving your ass.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

As you pulled up to Waffle House, scream-singing Ariana Grande lyrics with Elsie at the top of your lungs, you were sincerely hoping that your stomach wouldn’t roll at the smell of the greasy breakfast food. 

The nostalgia of the morning was something you wanted to wrap up tight and not let flutter away in the crisp and cool October breeze.

Please, sweet baby, you pleaded. Love Waffle House with me. Don’t make me give this up.

You wanted this with Els. This particular establishment had been cathartic to you and your sister for several years. Talks that far surpassed therapy sessions occurred here, in the back booth, almost completely surrounded by windows. . . The thought of sitting in that back booth was enough to make you cry right on the spot. 

And the All Star Special sounded so fucking delicious. Good sign that it at least still sounded good, right? 

You just wanted scrambled eggs, ham, hash browns with ketchup, and a gigantic waffle with the restaurant name pressed in the middle. It was all you wanted at that moment. Truly. Nothing more, nothing less. . . Your mouth was watering.

Cheesy and strange as it was, you were quite literally crossing your fingers that the food wouldn’t make you projectile vomit as Elsie opened the door for you two. 

Please don’t make me sick, please don’t make me sick. . .

To your extreme relief, your tummy didn’t knot and squeeze. No bile came to the base of your throat. . . In fact, the vanilla waffle mixture, the sizzling, salty smell of the bacon and ham. . . it was better than before. Your heightened senses welcomed the scrumptious, sentimental scents that came with the establishment. 

And the back booth was open! 

Tears literally pricked your eyes at the sight. And you must’ve sniffled because Elsie spun around, where you waited to be seated, and checked on you with worried eyes.

“You okay?” She pondered, her tone light with a joke, but eyes still serious. 

Not able to fully collect yourself thanks to the fantastic hormonal effects of your pregnancy, you felt a tear hit your cheek when you sniffled once more. 

“Yeah,” goddamn, even your voice sounded fucking wet with emotion. “Just happy to be here with you.”

Tell her, y/n. Let her help you. . .Tell her.

Fuck that came out of nowhere. 

The soft, reassuring voice being the one to guide you would take a lot of getting used to if it was going to continue as the one to help you, rather than the harsh, critical one that’d taunted you since you were a child.

Honestly, when the calm voice came to you, your mind settled in the waves of reassurance. This was the voice you longed to hear anytime the dark one wanted to boss you around. . .wanted to push you down when you were up. 

It always spoke soft truths to you. This voice didn’t make you feel like utter shit; this was the one that sounded more like Elsie than you’d like to admit.

As you started walking to your beloved booth, you were trying to find a solid reason to not tell Elsie right now. . . You had to tell someone. Right? And it was killing you to be around her and keep her in the dark. She was safe. And, at that moment, the only person you really wanted to tell was your big sister. No matter how bossy she may get, it was worth it to have her know. She was your one and only safety net for years for good reason. 

And she was going to be leaving again tonight until Thanksgiving. There was no way you could wait to tell her until then. 

She’d also never forgive you if you kept it from her for too long. You couldn’t blame her. If roles were reversed, you’d kill her if she waited to tell you until she had a noticeably round belly. . .

You sat down at your booth. You, at the seat with your back to the big windows, her smile wide as she made small talk with the worn-out waitress. Elsie’s smile, though, was big enough it brought a smile to the tired woman’s face. Elsie got along with everybody, and the waitress was no different. 

God, she was sunshine for you. 

As the woman placed your menus down in front of you two, you immediately flipped it to the side with the All Star Special. You watched her kind face, aged from years of hard work, and found comfort in the thickness of her voice from even more years of smoke, as she asked for your drink orders. 

Elsie ordered her blessed coffee and you sat there, contemplating. . . stuck. Normally, you’d order a Mr. Pibb. . .but was that healthy for the baby?

Your sister stared at you, her brows wrinkled as she gave you a questioning smile. 

“Just get her a Mr. Pi–,” Elsie started.

“I’ll take an orange juice,” you finished. 

The sweet waitress left to get your orders ready, and when you looked up from your menu to Elsie’s face again, she was looking at you like you’d grown three heads.

 “Orange juice?!” She asked, as if you’d just insulted her on a great scale. “Who are you and what have you done with my sister?”

You felt nervous under her stare and questions. You were going to tell her anyway. . . why were you feeling your skin prick with nerves? 

“Just felt like getting an orange juice. . .,” you said, shrugging your shoulders to play it off. “No biggie.”

“I cannot remember one time we’ve come here– in the years we’ve come here– where you’ve gotten anything besides a Mr. Pibb.” She leaned across the table to put the back of her hand to your forehead. She then jokingly asked, “Are you well?”

You watched her laugh at her own joke, her eyes, smiling. The same ones you’d looked into when, for years, you’d told her your deepest secrets. . . A couple of things came to your mind. When you lost your virginity and felt like shit about it (for God knows what reason); she’d raised your spirits by telling you she’d felt the same at first, but it got better with time. Then there’d been when you’d smoked weed for the first time and you felt so horribly about it (again, why?); she told you it was not a bad thing to do and that you deserved to feel so free as the drug would make you feel. 

Very rarely had she been extremely judgemental. 

Right now, she was giving you yet another look of concern, though. . .So, you decided. It was time. Now or never.

“Sis, what’s–?”

“I’m pregnant.”

There it was. First time you’d said it out loud. Damn. In that moment, it felt even more real to you, too. 

You were with child. There was a baby in you. There was life growing inside of your uterus. 

Then the opposite train of thought rushed through you. . .were you pregnant? Was the baby still in there? You hadn’t really had time to obsessive-compulsively research any of that yet. Could your tummy still grow if you had a miscarriage? Was that possible? Was there a baby inside of you?

You had to shake your head from your sudden wave of unwelcome, anxious thoughts. There was no reason to believe you’d lost the baby. . . right? Surely. . . You wouldn’t let your anxiety get the best of you. Blinking a few times, you chanced a look at your sister again.

She gaped at you, staying that way until the waitress came back with your drinks, not saying a word. Didn’t even look away from you when the waitress spoke, asking for your orders. You had to tell the woman it would be a minute, while Elsie still zoned out on you. 

Her eyes just bored into yours until you started feeling uncomfortable and irritable. 

Talk, Elsie. Fuck.

You clasped your hands together under the table, over your tummy. . .had to do something with them. And after continuing to wait a couple more minutes, you decided if she wasn’t going to say anything, you would. “Can you say some–?”

“What the fuck?” She asked, voice much louder than it should be for a quiet Sunday morning at Waffle House. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the heads of patrons turn towards you. Inquiring eyes were not what you needed at the moment.

Your cheeks heated as you grit your teeth. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Elsie?” You fumed, automatically defensive for the life inside of you. “I had sex. I got pregnant. Simple as that.”

You’d never felt this sense of protection for anyone in your life. Not even your sister. No, at that moment, you were ready to go to bat for your baby against the woman who’d been your first line of defense your entire life. 

Thankfully the next time she talked, she sounded more subdued and understanding.

“I– I didn’t mean for it to come off that way, babe,” she said, shaking her head, laying a hand against her forehead. Her eyes searched for yours to believe her. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t the right response.”

“It’s oka–.”

“This is a sensitive time for you–for any woman–my god,” she continued, not letting you make any excuse. “I was just in shock–still am, obviously–but I’m not upset,” she said, pausing. Then she narrowed her eyes, testing you. “How far along are you though?”

You giggled, remembering your earlier thoughts. The two of you were so alike. More like twins than anything, honestly. “I’m only like ten weeks, I think,” you smoothly said. “I found out two weeks ago, but I wasn’t sure if I was going to keep it or not, and I didn’t want to tell anyone until I decided. It was my decision and I didn’t want anything or anyone to sway me.”

“That is all valid and correct,” she agreed, nodding her head. Then, she continued asking questions as she poured too much half and half in her coffee. “How do you feel about it? Good? Bad? Sad? Happy? Overjoyed? Utterly depressed?”

Your eyes bugged, and you waved your hands at her once she was drinking from her mug, watching you and waiting for a response. “Damn, slow down,” you began, entwining your hands again, on top of the table this time. “First of all, per usual, I don’t always know how I’m feeling. . . But–it’s strange,” you started, squinting out the window just next to her. “It’s like, this time, instead of bouncing back and forth between sad and mad and confused. . .I’m more bouncing between a variety of happy emotions for this life,” you untangled your hands to once again place them on your tummy, below the table. “The confusion is still there, but for this baby. . .the emotions are mostly positive ones full of hope and love,” you looked back at her. “It’s weird.”

She was squinting at you, nodding her head as she took everything in. 

Then the waitress was back, taking your orders. And just as soon, she was gone.

Elsie spoke before you could. “What changed?”

Snorting, you gave her a look. “Really, Els?”

Yet again, she narrowed her eyes, but this time it was out of annoyance. “You know what I mean.”

You did. She wanted to get to the heart of it. Not the situation. But what had changed inside of you to instigate your new, surprising view of things? You really weren’t sure . . . To be completely honest, this new feeling had just started yesterday. Less than 24 hours ago, you’d made the decision that would change your life forever.

But, you answered the best you could in spite of it all. 

“I don’t know,” you glanced down at your hands, holding your sweater-clad tummy. You hadn’t had to delve into oversized sweaters the past couple of weeks. Not quite yet. Your tummy wasn’t that round. “I just kind of started thinking on behalf of this life I made, and not really myself. I put him, her–whatever the fuck it is– first and doing that just gave me this new outlook. Like I didn’t have all of the time in the world to criticize myself anymore. Because I have someone else to look out for. Someone special–someone whose life I have to be careful with– a life I hold in my hands.”

She giggled. “Literally,” she motioned in the direction of your hand placement. You joined in on her little moment of humor, enjoying the feeling of normalcy with her. She knew, and things were still the same as always. You didn’t feel any weirdness emanating off of her. This moment was easing you and brought you a sense of undefinable calm. Something you’d needed so badly. She kept on, having more to say. “I’m so fucking glad you’re starting to feel lighter,” she stated, reaching a hand out towards you, palm up on the table. “You’ve always carried so much on your shoulders. Always. And it has sucked to watch helplessly. You have hurt for too damn long and you deserve more than anyone to feel this new happiness.” 

The tear that suddenly gathered at the corner of your eye and trickled down your cheek was unstoppable.  

You moved a hand to place in hers and you squeezed each other. “Thanks Els,” you wetly responded. And nothing more– just needed her to know you were thankful.

After a minute of just communicating with your eyes, your food was being brought in small increments. Her biscuits and gravy were placed at the same time as your plate of eggs, hash browns, and ham. 

“Your waffle will be out shortly, honey,” the waitress smokily said, tone sweet as could be. “You two enjoy.”

After you’d both responded with a nod and she was gone, there was no stopping you two from digging in. 

After swallowing her first bite of food with a moan, she looked at you, still chewing your hash browns, which now tasted more like the sugary, tomatoey ketchup you’d smothered them with. 

“God, I was starving,” she said, taking a little sip of her half and half with a dash of coffee. She squeaked a little as she set her coffee down, a smirk on her glossed lips. “Josh would not quit last night.” 

You made a gagging motion at the implication, your brow furrowed with disgust at her words. 

Then, you took your first sip of orange juice. 

Goddamn.

Fuck! Ew. Baby does not like orange juice.

Coughing a little, your throat felt ready to reject the liquid right as it hit your uvula. Gross as it was, you put as much as you could back into the glass, not caring for Elsie’s reaction. 

“That’s not nasty at all,” she sarcastically noted, still chewing her food. 

You kept coughing into your hand, swallowing as much as you could, focusing on getting it down, not wanting to projectile vomit all over your breakfast. 

I’ll show you nasty, Elsie. Don’t test me.

You rolled your eyes at her remark, finally getting the remains of the drink down. You held your napkin to your face, coughing a bit. “Says the woman who’s talking and chewing,” you said, your voice weak to avoid any bile rising in your throat and at the sour, putrid taste still sitting on your tongue. “And you’re one to talk–telling me way more than I need to know about Josh.”

She snickered. “I’ll tell you more. Just say the word.”

Laughing once outright, you rolled your eyes. “Yeah, that won’t ever be happening,” you tried taking a bite of hash browns to get the taste of orange juice off your tongue. But it only made it worse. Your throat was not ready to accept any more at the moment. Spitting the mushy remains in your napkin, folding it up so as not to offend other customers. Your throat was tight as you responded. “I need water.”

“Here we go, babydoll! Waffles just for you,” the waitress returned, placing the food right in front of you. The waffle did not look appetizing in the slightest. You didn’t bother looking up to say anything, instead squeezing your eyes shut and willing the nausea away. “You okay, sweetie? D’ya need anything?”

“Can we get a water and a Sprite?” Elsie intervened, calmly requesting. “And like, ASAP, if that’s doable. . .”

“Sure thing! Back in a flash!” 

You kept your eyes closed, the twirling in your stomach not going away, but not intensifying either. You were scared to talk–afraid of what might come from your mouth if you did. 

“Here,” the sweet, older lady’s voice rang through, as you heard the plastic cups hit the table. She was rushing, her voice moving fast. “Gotta go to another table, but wave me down if ya need me, sugar.”

“I think we’re good for now,” Elsie reassured. You could hear the smile in her tone. “Thank you so much.” A few seconds passed, then your sister was tapping your hand that was still laid on the table. “Sis, please take a drink from one of them.”

Keeping one hand pressed to your mouth, you tapped the wrapper off of the straw. You chose the carbonated Sprite, banking on the carbonation and natural aid of Sprite for a sensitive stomach.

As soon as the ice cold, fizzing drink hit your tongue, you felt relief. The feeling hadn’t gone away in your tummy, but you also didn’t feel like you were going to hurl at any moment anymore either. You took a few short, yet healthy, sips, eyes closing again to center yourself. 

Your eyes trailed back to hers after you sat the cup down.

“You okay?” Elsie questioned, following you with her blue eyes, which swam with concern. You nodded, then she talked again. “Do you get sick a lot?”

Reaching for the water, you took one little drink of that, finally feeling able to talk. Your stomach was simmering slowly. You pushed the plates away, needing the food away from you for the time being.

“Not hungry?” 

You shook your head, your brows furrowed. “Not now. Fuckin’ orange juice,” you flipped off the offensively orange drink. Elsie snorted at you, and you grinned at her. “And to answer you, yes. I puke all of the time. Thought it was stress at first. Just throwing up because of all of my stress.”

She rolled her eyes, pushing her own food away. “You’re an idiot.” You scoffed at that, offended. “I’m just saying. You’ve never been a puker. Fevers and shit, yes. But never thrown up a whole lot. And you’ve had some terrible fucking stress in your life. . . never vomiting from any of it; just to remind you.”

“I guess I just wanted to stay ignorant,” you admitted. “And I didn’t think it was possible at all that I was pregnant.”

She hummed in understanding, then she leveled you with a stare as she took a drink of her coffee. 

“What now?” You groaned. “You fuckin’ weas–.”

“Does Jake know?”

Your stomach fell all the way to the bottom your feet. Fuck. What? How did she know?

Stupidly, you tried to reject it. Why would you try to hide it from her? You didn’t know. There was no point in trying to hide it. 

“Why would he need to know? This doesn’t concern him. He’s not the fath—.”

She practically honked with a huge laugh, blossoming from the back of her throat. You blushed, sinking back into your seat. Why would you even try to play dumb? You knew better than to do that with her. 

After wiping a little tear from below her eye, she sipped at her water. Sitting her glass down, she coughed a couple times and snorted with another giggle before continuing. “Please do not insult my intelligence like that.”

Weakly, you tried to defend yourself. “You believed me at the festival that we weren’t fucking anymore, so I just assumed–.”

“You think I believed that shit?!” She gawked at you– in disbelief that you’d thought that of her. “I just wasn’t going to push it out of you while you were so obviously in the depths of sorrow over that girl that was with him.”

Face flushing yet again, you chewed on the inside of your cheek. “‘Depths of sorrow’ is dramatic.” And true, you silently agreed with her. So incredibly, stupidly true.

“And you’re pregnant with Jake’s kid,” she pushed, wanting to hear you say it yourself.

You looked up at her through your lashes, not ready to say it out loud. But definitely needing to. . . and who better than your sister to say it out loud to for the very first time?

“Jake is the baby’s father, yes,” you said plainly, looking directly in her eyes as you said it. Then, immediately peering out the window, directly to your right. “Half him, half me,” you murmured, under your breath.

You pressed your shoulder, clad in your fluffy sweater, against the chilled glass. You still felt the coldness from the brisk autumn day through the thick windows. It calmed your heart which beat frantically against your breastbone. Talking out loud about Jake being the father of your child made reality slap you in the face. You were carrying Jake’s baby. Inside your womb was half of Jake and half of you. Together. Something you’d made. . . together. 

The thought of a part of him just floating around in your uterus was honestly jarring. . . but not unwelcome. Not unwelcome at all. No, in fact because the baby was half of him, you’d decided you had to keep it. Jake was the reason that the baby was a necessity to this world. A piece of the first man you’d ever. . . 

You shook your head amidst the raging thoughts, deciding to cut them off right. there. That was a path you did not want to venture down. 

Dangerous territory.

Knowing the baby was his and that fact being was the sole reason you had to keep it. . .that was big enough for you to acknowledge. Huge, actually. . . You couldn’t believe you’d let yourself face that so surely and honestly. But. . . that was something you refused to tell your sister. That was one thing for you and only you to know. It felt too personal to share–belonged in your heart alone.

The mother and child you were observing just outside Waffle House were about to get you lost in thought again . . . You could spend hours appreciating a true, authentic love between a mother and her child. You’d never had it, and it was just so unique in and of itself. A relationship that held its own definition of love. A love so lovely, precious, safe. . . wholesome.

You were desperate to create that for a child. Something you hadn’t had the privilege of experiencing. And the baby in your womb deserved to feel it. . . But could you do it? Or were you too much like your mom?

Before you could fall down that depressing rabbit hole, you slowly swiveled your head back in the direction of your sister. 

Then, without much contemplation, you unloaded. Told her everything. Informed her of the situation between you and Jake, how you started feeling iffy about all of it towards the end, and then how you’d decided to cut it off due to your desire to protect him. It rushed out of your mouth, with almost no thought and you honestly didn’t have time to consider anything before it slipped from your lips and into the air between the two of you. 

Elsie was watching you, eyes attentively following your every word and movement. She looked ready to help. As always. Her eyes, the color of the ocean and just as deep and sure as the waves that enveloped it. The overwhelming calm you felt after telling her, also similar to the ocean in its ability to offer peace. . . 

What she said first was not what you were expecting. No counsel. Just humility. 

“I’m sorry for what I said about you watching that girl with Jake at the festival,” she started, tucking her hands in her lap, expression sincere. “That was callous. Not the time.”

Wrinkling your brow, you argued back, unnecessarily defensive and overwrought with emotion after spilling all of that and for the life in your belly (lovely hormones). “I’m still me, Elsie,” you huffed, rolling your eyes. “Jesus Christ.”

She raised a brow, combatting you. “Fine. If you’re still you, then I can say this: get the fuck over yourself and just be with him,” taking a drink of her coffee, she made a face. “Room temperature coffee is absolute balls,” she looked over her shoulder, trying to connect eyes with the waitress. 

You saw the woman head your way, and immediately got the hint when Elsie held the cup out with puppy dog eyes. “You’ve got it, sweet baby.”

“Thank you,” Elsie said, her voice that of a grateful servant to the woman. 

“You, with your food and drinks that must be so hot they burn your mout–.”

“We’re not done with you. So, shut up.”

“Jesus, Elsie! I–.”

Holding a perfectly manicured hand up, black nails flashing in front of you briefly, she cut you off. “No! I don’t want to hear any more of the bullshit. You’re literally having his baby. Get over this. . . thing in your head, and just be with him. You obviously want it. And I think he does, too.”

You sighed, the breath coming fully from your lungs. It wasn’t like you didn’t want it, too. . . it was just complicated. “It’s not that easy, Elsie,” you lamented. “There are several pieces to the puzzle.”

“Liiiiike . . .?” 

“Well, for one,” you held up a finger to start the count. “He has a girlfriend now.”

“No he doesn’t,” she scrunched her face, completely disagreeing. “He’s not with any–.”

“They showed up to the party together, Elsie. The girl from the festival. And they have a past. He was groping her all night last night and she never left his side,” you repeated the events aloud, your stomach rolling at the heinous thoughts. 

“Oh, shit,” her eyes got big, blowing out a slow breath. “I didn’t even realize. Josh and I–.”

“Were roaming the room for half of the night and preoccupied for the rest of it,” you said, shivering at the deplorable thought of your friend and sister. 

“I was with you for a good chunk of it, too, bitch,” she corrected, pointing at you. 

You stuck out your lip, nodding to agree. “You’re right. . .but you were also way too distracted by Josh to notice.”

She made the same face, mirroring you. “You are not wrong,” she grinned smartly, winking suggestively. “No regrets.”

“I’m going to puke on you.”

“Oh my god, please don’t,” she gagged. And then started singing a thank you as the waitress came back with your tickets and a fresh coffee. After dumping one million half and half cups into her mug, she took a hearty sip. When she sat it down, she practically vibrated in delight. “Oh hell yeah.”

“You know Josh hates coffee,” you noted. “Prefers tea.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, I know. We’ve had many long debates over the ridiculous fact,” she growled. “He’s a miscreant when he wants to be.”

You laughed outright. “Yes he is. Little fuckin’ gremlin.” 

The sound that roared out of her was more reminiscent of a yell than a laugh, but it became a string of snorting and giggles that you joined in on. After a few minutes of enjoying the sound of the other’s laughter, you shook your head and scratched your brow before seeing your phone light up with a notification. 

Stupidly, your tummy fluttered at the possibility of it being Jake texting you. But then you remembered that he would absolutely not be texting you in his right mind. . . that was not where you were with him right now. You weren’t sure you’d ever be there with him again. And that thought made your tummy sink as soon as it’d fluttered. 

Though, the notification on your screen was enough to bring a little grin to your face, your eyes watering with the overwhelming excitement and joy that ignited in your heart at the update from your Ovia Pregnancy app. 

Week 10: Congratulations, y/n! You’re heading into the tail end of your first trimester. Your baby is now the size of a kumquat and almost 1 ¼ inches long!

Not being able to help it, you turned your phone to Elsie so she could see the notification as well. 

She read through it, her mouth moving as she took in the words. A wide, toothy smile made its way to her face–her entire demeanor lighting up with you. Clutching both hands to her chest, her eyes were wet next time you saw them. Your own eyes filled with more tears at her reaction to it. 

“I’m so proud to be an aunt to your little kumquat baby!” She said, her voice actually quivering with emotion. 

“I’m glad you’re proud,” you responded with a sniffle, drying your undereyes with a Waffle House napkin. “I’m proud, too.”

Her smile turned close-mouthed, yet no less sincere and delighted. “You should be,” she paused, then her crying eyes dried a bit as her tone turned serious. “And Jake will be, too. I know it, babe,” she stopped, pondering a thought. “You are going to tell him, right?”

You didn’t have to think about your answer. He had to know. You wanted him too, really. “Yes.” Then, your tummy flipped. “ But I don’t know if he’ll be super excited when I do,” you shook your head. “This was not in the cards for him this year. . . I wouldn’t blame him if he rejected the idea of me being pregnant with his baby.”

“Well, he wouldn’t reject it. I can say that for certain–I’m dating his twin and I know Josh would never reject a baby,” she said, wiping at her face with her own napkin. “And, I’m going to argue the other part, too. . . it obviously was in the cards for him,” she reached a hand out towards you and you took it. “This happened for a reason, sis. A good one. And Jake will view it as such.”

“I just don’t want it to slow him down,” you squeezed her hand, looking down to where they entwined on the gray table. “I need him to keep going and chase his dream.”

She raised a brow, shook her head from side to side, once again disbelieving. “He will, y/n. He’ll keep going. Josh is– and he and I are dating?. . . What’s the difference?”

“Where do I start? Most importantly, I’m messed up in the head and I need to work on myself before I expose him to myself,” you insisted, bringing your hand back to place on your tummy. “And he and Josh are different. . .Josh has a drive that Jake doesn’t. Jake gave up his dream before and he’ll do it again if he’s allowed. And a baby is already damn near the most drastically life changing thing that could happen to a person. Could completely screw up his plans,” you sighed resolutely. It was clear to her that you were firm on this, so she sat back with open and considerate eyes to let you finish. “Best to keep things separate between us so he has one less thing that is tempting him to put himself last. A baby is enough.”

She hummed, taking it all in. After taking a moment, she gave a response. “I just have one question.”

“Yes?” You prepared yourself, raising a brow.

“What’s the difference between you and the girl?-- What’s her name anyway?”

“Maya,” ugh. Hate that name. “Her name is Maya. And she is normal where I am not.”

“O-kaaaay,” she replied, still unsure of the validity in your response. You didn’t know why she seemed so unsure. She knew you better than you knew yourself. She knew you were jacked up. She let out a massive sigh, then continued. “Well, I don’t personally think you know her well enough to make that assumption. She could be more detrimental to him than you–.”

“Not possib–.”

“And you could be exactly what he needs,” she said, almost in finality, though it was obvious she wasn’t done when she leaned forward, her tone hard and steadfast. “You’re also not as “jacked up” as you seem to believe you are. Have you got things to heal? Yes. But are you still one of the most incredible people that has ever walked this planet–if not the most incredible? Even more so, yes,” her eyes watered again, but she sniffed the tears away to say her last piece. “I think you could very well be exactly what Jake Kiszka needs to be complete. And even though I wasn’t around for all of the intricacies of you two, I should’ve caught on. Because I do know the way that man fucking looks at you. . . and dammit if I’ve ever seen another man look at a woman the way he looks at you. . . not even Josh with me or Grandpa with Grandma.”

Your heart swelled and your cheeks grew instantly red. Your blood buzzed in your veins. . . did he really look at you like that? 

Then, selfishly, you wondered if anyone else had noticed like Elsie had. . . like Josh. Fuck. Did he see how Jake looked at you? Had he already presumed things about you and Jake based on how his twin apparently, blatantly, ogled you? And then you realized, yet again, how you would have to obviously tell Josh of the baby. . . oh god; how would he react?

“I wish he wouldn’t,” you muttered. “I don’t need anyone to–.”

“To know?” She squeaked a giggle. “I’m sorry, babe. . . but I think your cover’s about to be totally blown within the next nine months.”

You groaned, placing your forehead in your hand as you blew your hair away from your face. “How will Josh react?” You moaned, halfway to yourself and halfway to her. 

“What?” 

You snapped up. “How in the hell is Josh going to react?!” You anxiously quizzed her, eyes wild. “He is already going to be hurt that I kept it from him. And then there’s the reason I kept it from him in the first place. . .,” you felt tears well in your throat right before you nearly slammed your head on your crossed arms, which laid against the table, dramatically. 

Okay, these hormones can fuck right off. 

“Why’s that, sissy?” She carefully inquired, tone soft, not judging your reaction the way you internally were. “Remind me again.”

You moaned, raising your head and willing the tears away. “He made it so incredibly clear to me how Jake didn’t need another woman infiltrating his life and distracting him. And how Jake needed this time to discover himself for the first time in his life. . . and I’ve completely ignored that desire of his,” a lone tear slipped from your ducts. “I’ve betrayed him. Selfishly.”

Letting the words sit in the air between you, she waited a couple of beats before inserting her two cents. “When does Jake finally get what he wants?”

You wrinkled a brow, tears completely dissipating out of curiosity for her next words.

“I mean. . .” she started, making a thoughtful smacking sound with her mouth. “Josh thinks he can call the shots. You think you can just decide to not let yourself ruin his life? Like, what the hell, first of all? And second of all. . . what if he doesn’t care about any of that shit and just wants you? Did you ever take a second to consider that?”

“Yes, Elsie,” you growled, defensive once again. “And that’s why I’m keeping the ball in my court. I’m protecting him. And that was Josh’s intent, too.”

“I don’t know where you two get off acting like Jake isn’t a grown ass man who can make his own decisions. . .,” she trailed off, flashing an irritated look out the window. 

You did not want to get into this right now. The conversation was trailing much further than you fucking wanted. Your nerves were practically electrifying you and your head felt heavy.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore, Elsie,” you shortly bit out at her. She snapped her head back at you, her eyes still on fire. You stayed firm. “I’m done talking about all of that shit,” your hands laid safely on your lower, swelling tummy. “I have bigger things to consider now,” after glancing down at your stomach, you hit her with another stern glare. “So drop it.”

Her chest was heaving. 

You were not sure what was happening; why was she suddenly so “Team Jake”? When had that happened? And again, why? 

“Fine,” she conceded, sniffing resolutely once and then went to sip her coffee. Which, by the look on her face, was cold again. “Yuck. Can we bust this joint and go to Starbs? I need the sweet stuff.”

You sighed with relief at the change in subject. “Yes,” you smiled. “Let’s.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

It was just you and your sister in the open apartment, which was now completely cleaned from last night’s festivities due to your obsessive-compulsive cleaning. Though, you couldn’t help but notice when you’d come back from breakfast, Jake had been gone and the apartment looked much better than when you’d left with Elsie. It felt nice that he cared for the apartment, too–enough to try to keep it clean. 

You trained your thoughts on Elsie, as she waited at the door to leave, bags completely packed, awaiting her Uber to the airport (you were, unfortunately, so suddenly fucking tired that you had decided you weren’t fit to drive her). 

You didn’t want to let her go. She was your one person who knew now, and no matter how much she challenged your stance on Jake, she was still your sister and your person and you needed her with you during this time. . .

“Can you not just stay for a couple more days?” You tried once more, knowing better than to ask, as she’d repeated the words more than once now. “Let them know your sister is having an existential crisis and needs you?”

She huffed with a grin, rolling her eyes. “You are literally fine,” she reassured, reaching a hand out to hold your arm. But instead of letting it stop there, you fell into it and let yourself fall into her–let yourself wrap both of your arms around her shoulders, hugging yourself tightly to her. 

“Please don’t leave,” you moaned, your voice so meek it was straight up depressing. “I need you.”

She hugged you back, dropped her duffel off her shoulder in the process of embracing you. “I always need you, sissy,” she agreed. “But I’m just a FaceTime or text away,” she assured you, combing her hands through your wet hair, having taken a shower while she’d been gone saying her goodbyes to Josh. “I’m here. And you have people here. You just need to let. them. in.”

“I know. . .,” you sighed hotly into her natural curls. “I’m just so scared to tell Jo–.”

“I’m tired of hearing that, babe,” she asserted firmly. “Because the last person you need to be scared to tell is Joshua,” she stated, leaving no room for argument, right in your ear. “And if you think about it, you know him well enough to fucking know that. So get out of your maze of thoughts and know the truth.”

She was right. . . Truly, you knew she was. You knew his heart. But. . . “How will I even. . .?” 

Pulling away from you, she kept her hands wrapped around your forearms, keeping a caring hold on you. Keeping you near. “I’ve actually been thinking about this, like, all day. . . but the first thing that came to my mind is what I keep going back to.”

You waited for more, but she didn’t continue her thought. Impatient, you asked. “Which is. . .?”

“Invite him to a doctor’s appointment. Maybe your. . .first?” she offered, questioning the last part. But sounded completely sure of her idea. “It’s the perfect way to break it to him. And. . .if I’m correct, I’m assuming you haven’t had one yet since you just decided to keep it?”

“Yeah. . . no appointment yet. So, I could. . .ugh,” you answered. “But– why? How–? Will he–?”

“It’s the ideal situation because he will feel like he’s being helpful and loving. He’ll be able to be there for you. He’ll feel needed and involved and that is literally all Josh wants in general in life, so. . .”

“It’s perfect,” you weakly agreed. It really was. You couldn’t deny it.

“Yes, it is,” she flipped her hair over her shoulder and lifted her duffel bag back over her shoulder. “I came up with it.”

You scoffed. “Okay, now. Don’t get a big fuckin’ head, loser.”

“Bitch,” she bit back, shoving your shoulder. 

Rubbing your shoulder in faux pain, you gave her a pitiful expression. “Elsie. I am with child, you need to be careful with me now.”

Bursting with a chuckle, straight from her chest, she shoved your other shoulder. “I’m not touching the damn stomach, so I’m good.” 

You shoved her back, dropping the act and giggling with her. “You right, you right,” you said. Then, your thoughts came back to the task at hand. The baby that was squirming around in you. “I’m still scared.”

“That’s another perfect aspect of telling him in that scenario though,” she added, assuring you with her opinion. “You can’t back out. You’ll have to tell him if he meets you at the doctor’s office or takes you there or whatever the hell he does. . . you’ll have no choice but to tell him before you go in. And he’ll just have to take it,” she said, her plan sounding, admittedly, concrete. “He will survive,” she dropped her hands from your arms and looped her belt bag around her chest before placing a hand delicately to your cheek. “I promise he’ll survive.”

Just then, her phone dinged, indicating her Uber had arrived. So, with many “I love you’s” and a few curse words, you were following her down the stairs, then hugging her tightly once more outside of her awaiting Uber. 

And as you watched her leave the parking lot, the tears started to flow. So. many. tears. Steady, hard, relentless weeping. . . 

The emotions were obviously true, yes, but the hormones–and your current, lonely headspace– were amplifying the already-existing emotions of her leaving to an incredibly irritating degree.

But before you could lose yourself in them any more, you heard a door to a car shut to your left, along with a laugh you knew all too well. Jake was home. 

And if you didn’t move, he was going to see you as a hysterical mess and you did not want his fucking pity right now. Last thing you needed. And worse, you also didn’t want to see his expression, for the chance it might be hard and uncaring. You also didn’t want to possibly see a certain woman arrive with him. 

You were sure she was with him. The feminine giggle you heard accompanying his endearing chuckles could be no one else.

So, instead of looking in his direction, you turned quickly on your heel and speed-walked up the stairs, a hand on your tummy to avoid any hurt to the kumquat baby. 

As soon as your back hit the closed door, you breathed a sigh, which turned into a long yawn. The kind that made you shiver with a sudden, urgent desire to sleep. You didn’t have to work today, you’d canceled study plans. . . So suddenly, you felt abundantly free and a nap sounded like the perfect remedy to the overwhelming emotions of your day.

-🌼🌼🌼- 

Monday came and went before you even knew it was happening. As did Tuesday. As did Wednesday. And when Thursday came around, you had your Modern Poetry elective. The one class you had with someone you knew relatively well. 

You hadn’t made it a priority to make tons of friends while in school to get your degree–you’d had Josh and Elsie, and eventually Sammy and Danny. . .and that had been enough. 

But, when Theo had popped back up into your life, anytime you saw him in a class, it really did feel nice to be around someone familiar at school. Even though he was on the more annoying side, he was still a good confidant.

And especially with the massive course load this semester, having someone you knew around was helpful. Good for feeling less alone. He was somebody who was going through school with you; he got the overwhelming amount of pressure from school, too. He felt the senioritis, too. . . but, his case was slightly different. 

He was ready to be done with school so he could pursue this career he longed to have in writing, while you were just ready to be done. 

Initially, when you had started the semester, you were just ready to be out of Pratt because you felt like you were wasting your time on a degree you’d lost passion for (save for your minor in media studies which gave you the occasional music-related course).

Now you weren’t sure why you were ready to be done. What made you feel more anxious to put Pratt in the past now? Was it the burning desire to be done with a passionless major? Or did the life in your tummy have something to do with it? The thought of the baby you held inside honestly got your blood pumping more excitedly in your veins than a college degree ever could. 

You really only cared about ascertaining a healthy baby– no longer caring much for a piece of paper saying you had studied writing, uselessly, for four long years. 

But you had to make it through school. If not for you, for your baby. You didn’t have much longer left, and you owed it to that child to see this through. You had to find some drive though. So, in came Theo to help with that. He was great at encouraging others, and that was exactly what you needed while trudging through the sixteen hours of classes you’d enrolled in this semester. 

When you were getting up to leave for class that afternoon, you had your mind set on a big jar of baby pickles (stereotypical pregnant woman, much?). You were ready to get off campus and to the nearest grocery store for the deliciously tangy food. 

Before you could leave your two-person table, though, a hand came out to grab your arm as a way of stopping you. If you had acted on impulse, you would have whined and stomped your foot in protest at being kept from satisfying your pickle craving. 

But you didn’t act like a petulant child. Instead, you turned around, eyes opened and ready for whatever was needed from you. 

And when you looked behind your shoulder, Theo was there, a head or so above you, smiling and waiting for a response. 

“Yes?” You asked, semi-irritatedly, semi-sweetly. “What’s up?”

He just stared a little while longer, blinking rapidly before shaking his head. His blonde hair had grown out a bit and shook with the movement, eyes twinkling just enough, making your heart thump a little harder in your chest. 

Why in the hell? 

“I meant to ask you Tuesday, but you were gone before I could,” he started, adjusting his messenger bag over his shoulder. He shifted on his feet a little before peering curiously into your eyes. “Are you okay? I missed seeing you for our usual Sunday study time. . .”

You swallowed, slightly grumpy that he felt the need to pry. 

He’s just showing he cares, y/n, the angelic voice said, which now stopped by more occasionally than the negative one. 

Not wanting to tell him anything too personal (God, no), you went with the bare minimum. “A friend hosted a Halloween party at my place on Saturday, and my sister was actually in town for it,” you divulged, wrapping your fists tighter around the straps of your backpack. Please let me leave after this. “So I hung out with her yesterday while she was still in town.”

Not the whole truth, but not so much dishonesty to  me feel bad.

“Oh!” He said, a light hearted laugh accompanying his tone. “Cool. I remember from high school how close you two were.”

I remember how much she didn’t like you, you thought, feeling uneasy at past-Elsie’s opinion of the guy.

Was he really that bad though? He’d been great for you during high school. Even though it had only been a year of time with him, he had still been a decent person to have around during those formative years of your life. He had been considerate, kind, helpful. . . the only negative things you could remember were the few times he’d try to get you to calm down on unnecessary occasions. He could be occasionally judgmental, but wasn’t everyone to an extent?

And maybe you and Elsie had only been your average, overly sensitive high school girls and had thought he was worse than he actually was.

Because at this moment, all you could see were the green flecks in his blue eyes and how they caught the sun that shone in from the window behind you, and onto his pale face. The way he waited earnestly to hear your response made you feel special and valuable to him at this moment and what woman didn’t like that?

“Yeah,” you said, tucking some hair behind your ear before folding your hands over your chest. Aaand, wincing, you quickly moved them away. Your boobs were especially tender with the extra pressure against them. Every day they seemed to get more sensitive to the touch, feeling heavier–fuller. “We’re still that close. Probably closer now, actually. After living together, and then her job forcing her to be far away often. . .,” you trailed off, sad at the thought of her being so far away all the damn time. “We’re forced to communicate way more than we ever have before.”

He nodded, winking at you. And although he was cute, you didn’t feel anything at the wink, really. It didn’t swirl your tummy with nerves like it would with someone. . .else. You chalked it up to the craving that was still distracting you, making your tummy growl. 

He cleared his throat before he tucked one hand in a jeans pocket and one tighter around the strap of his bag. “Intentional is the word,” he added with another wink, seeming to understand to a degree. But you caught the aggravating ‘know-it-all’ attitude. Tipping his head, he looked at you with smiling eyes. “You okay?” He motioned with his hand at your neck-chest region.

Your brow furrowed, confused. Defenses were instantly raised and you took a step back, tucking your hands into your back pockets. “Yes?” You retorted, tilting your head to challenge him. “Why?”

“Just saw you flinch and all,” he said, in wonder at your tone. When he spoke next, he no longer seemed understanding, only misunderstanding. “Nothing big. Don’t worry,” he held his hands out, as if calming a tiger. 

You felt stupid for overreacting, so you covered your tracks with a forced giggle, masking the situation the best you could with a straight-up (ironic) lie. “Just a certain time of the month,” you explained extremely falsely. “Overly reactive to everything right now.” That was true. 

“Oh,” he pointed a finger at you, pretending to get it. “Makes sense.”

Okay, you thought, squinting at him as he looked to the side with a sort of confidence. Maybe Elsie had been onto something. . . 

But then he peered down at you again with his sparkly eyes and shaggy, naturally blonde hair.  It made you feel a little weak for the guy, even with him irritating you.

But why was he irritating you, exactly? Maybe your emotions were controlling you a little too much– getting too easily offended thanks to the hormones. . . Perhaps he was just acting like a normal human, while you were the one who wasn't reacting like a normal human.

Your stomach was fucking growling though. . .Theo didn’t matter worth fuck at that moment. What did matter was how badly your body was craving eating for two. If you didn’t eat soon, you were afraid you would faint from lack of sustenance (you definitely wouldn’t, but there were the over-reactive feelings again). 

You started backing up, and made it just next to the table when you were saying your next words. “I’m going to go ahead and get out of her–.”

“Wait!”

Having just turned on your heel, your face was hidden from view, and you were able to roll your eyes when you heard him. You weren’t going to stop though. He could follow you to the parking lot. You were hungry and grouchy and ready to eat an entire jar of pickles before crashing hard against your sheets. Before you had to show up at the B&G for the evening shift.

“Follow me,” you said, short, only looking over your shoulder at him briefly before continuing your trek. But please don’t talk for long. 

You were just outside North Hall when you decided to stop, so you wouldn’t have to fear him stalling you at your car.

“What’s up?” You asked, playing cool despite your desire to grumble. 

“I actually– I just thought–,” he laughed, seemingly at himself. He scratched behind his ear. Then he stood up straight, determined after tucking both hands into his front pockets and clearing his throat for the second time that day. You noticed his jeans, dark wash, skinny, and complimenting his firm thighs. “I wanted to ask you to hang out with me sometime– outside of here.”

Seriously? He was stopping your pickle eating for this?

You couldn’t help the snicker that escaped you, confused. “We do hang out,” you grasped tightly to the straps of your backpack again, anxious to get food. Already tired of him. “Every Sunday.”

“Well, yeah,” he agreed, pausing. Then he grinned in a way you assumed he thought was cute. But all it really did was make your eyes hurt from the inability to roll, out of courtesy for him. He continued, taking a step closer. Your hands did start perspiring and your heart sped up positively at his proximity. “But I thought maybe we could do something not related to school?”

You opened your mouth to reject it–you were not interested. For many reasons. The biggest being the baby in your belly. . .

Although, the more you pondered the baby, you realized more than that, you were hesitant because of his or her father.

Not the child, but Jake. The man that was ever-present in your mind– with his beautiful, brunette hair, eyes the color of understanding, easing you in the most complex situations. . . and the heart that’d made the world suddenly make sense. . . (Which still scared the hell out of you, by the way.)

But. . .as the thoughts spiraled, it all started to have the opposite effect. Made you want to agree.

So, you did.

You said yes to hanging out with Theo. Because, as soon as that thought process had started derailing, you knew it was best to agree. The idea of hanging out with him seemed like a great distraction from Jake. A much needed one.

What you had with Jake was nothing and it was in the past. For a reason. 

After you watched him smile wide and say he’d text you, he went to join a heap of Pratt’s fraternity boys. You could only hope that maybe getting out there and hanging out with someone else would get your mind off of Jake. 

You did not want it going further than a few dates with Theo. Just a little time with Theo would surely be all it took to get your headspace cleared and make it easier to navigate life. 

The repercussions to its ending were literally nothing. You’d switch seats in class and force yourself through school with the occasional encouragement from Elsie. Theo was not a necessary addition to your life long-term, but you figured he could help you short-term, while also creating long lasting benefits.

Surely you could divert your thoughts from Jake. Think of the child first, and put its father on the backburner as you weaved through this next chapter in your life. . . No matter how badly you wanted him with you through all of it, experiencing it all first hand with you, it was the wiser decision to keep things separate. 

And, as an additional help, Theo would make it obvious to Jake that you were willing to keep your life separate. 

So, when you did eventually tell Jake (dear fucking God), there would be an additional party that emphasized you’d moved on and all that mattered now was the baby. 

Not the two of you. That ship needed to sail. 

Even though the thought made your stomach hurt like hell and tears well in your eyes as you pulled into the nearest Trader Joe’s for pickles. . . you knew it was the truth.

-🌼🌼🌼-

That evening, you took a longer route to work, choosing to listen to a podcast you’d found. 

Having listened to the first episode on the way to school that morning, you decided to fill your cup with another episode on the way to work. 

It was a magnificent podcast that was all about the ‘ins and outs’ of pregnancy, being a new mother, and how to grow mentally and emotionally during such a unique time.

The second episode was going just as well as the first until you heard one of the moderators’ voices get low and forlorn. 

“You know ladies. . . the first time I got pregnant is planted firmer in my memory than any of my other pregnancies,” she said, sighing heavily. 

“Oh, yeah, Jen,” another moderator said, voice growing dim with Jen’s, apparently (you were still getting accustomed to their names). “I bet, babe. . . The ones that are lost are the ones that stick so close it fuckin’ hurts and heals at the same time. . .”

“Agreed, Tally,” the third—and last—speaker on the podcast chimed in. “I’ll touch on my story after Jen.” 

“Thanks, Molly,” Jen’s voice rang through your speakers again. “Yeah, it’s just a different feeling when they’re there and then suddenly they’re not. . . When you imagine holding them in your arms for God knows how long and then it suddenly becomes impossible to do so,” Jen sniffed, and just as she did, you felt a tear hit your own cheek. God, you were hurting with her. “Every woman is different, but I just hang onto my loss like nothing else. And not necessarily in a bad way— just in an attempt to sort of keep the baby here with me— Give her the life she never got to fully live.”

Dammit, the tears wouldn’t let up. They were trailing down your cheeks steadily. When you got to the next stop light, you had to grab a napkin from your glovebox to blot at your cheeks, already marked with black streaks of mascara. Thankfully you could still wipe them up easily, not dried to your skin quite yet. But you knew the crying wouldn’t be letting up soon. Your emotions had been triggered and you would be seeing this sadness through. (Hello, pregnancy hormones.) 

You took turns holding the napkin under each eye, making sure to catch the tears as they continued. 

“I’m right there with you, Jenny,” a voice you now recognized as Molly’s said. “Even though my stories are a little different.”

Stories? 

God. You kept your eyes on the road as you popped open the glovebox once more, grabbing a fistful of left-over restaurant napkins. 

Sitting them on top of your legging-clad thighs, right where you could reach them, you took a right turn towards the B&G. 

“I’m sure we have listeners who will relate to all of these stories,” Tally interjected, sniffing. “Both of you girls.”

“I hope we’re able to help someone,” Jen responded, voice still thick, but not so bad as before. 

You heard a sigh before Molly started speaking again. “The first time I carried was very similar to Jenny’s. Lost the baby. Early on. The worst loss I’ve ever experienced—I will never understand why we lose them,” her voice shook with sadness. But, it soon transitioned to a hot flash of irate frustration when she spoke next. “I will also never understand the people who invalidate our experiences just because they were lost in the womb or lost as little tiny babies. . . Just because they weren’t full grown people, outside of the womb, when it happened. . . doesn’t make it hurt any less. You have just as much to mourn for the life they completely lost.” And just as soon as she was firm, her voice was soft again. “The life we lost before it was time.”

The other two agreed, voices low out of respect for the moment. 

“Then there was my second. . .,” she blew out a breath, as if preparing. She gave a half-laugh. “Strange occurrence. . .”

“But it happens!” One of the other two chimed in. 

“Sure as hell does,” Molly said. “The second time I carried, I had a hysterical pregnancy– a case that only 6 women in 22,000 experience. . .”

“I can’t imagine. . .,” Tally breathed a sigh out. “Your body, tricking you like that.”

“Yeah, and it felt completely real– like everything you’d expect,” she replied, thoughtful. “Like everything I experienced with the one I’d lost before. . . And, God, it was so incredibly hard to get through once I found out what my body had done to me. . . I just wanted a healthy baby–especially after the loss. I was still hurting badly from losing the first when it happened. Almost like my body was playing tricks on me just to see how far I could stretch mentally and emotionally,” she laughed under her breath, in spite of it all. 

“So fucking cruel, babe. . .”

But you weren’t focusing hard enough to know who was talking anymore. You’d caught on to the stories they’d told and now you were over analyzing your situation. . . Questioning everything. . . Was this real? Was there a baby there? Were you having a hysterical pregnancy? Was your body playing tricks on you? 

Or, had you been pregnant, and had now lost the baby like those women had? Were you still carrying the life you’d started planning around? The little life you were becoming more and more attached to by the day?

Had you ever been carrying it? 

As you pulled into work, you put one shaking hand on your rounded lower belly.

- 🌼🌼🌼-

Suffice to say, your entire evening shift was spent in over-contemplation and searching miscarriages, hysterical pregnancies, and semi-local OBGYN’s during the lull of customers. 

As you’d searched online for a clinic, you were not looking for places too close, as you didn’t want God and everybody seeing you enter the clinic on a regular basis (if you, in fact, were to find out you were carrying a tiny little bean-baby). You sure as hell didn’t need anyone to start questioning you before you were ready to offer up answers. 

Once you finally left your longest shift ever, you drove home in deep thought and drowning silence. 

Your research over miscarriages and hysterical pregnancies had done you very little good. They’d actually done you no good at all, if you were being honest. Everything you’d read made you question a lot.

Because, everything that could possibly reassure you was also possible in a hysterical pregnancy or a miscarriage.

One: your growing tummy (which could continue growing in both of the sad, unwanted instances). Two: your hurting breasts (which could still hurt in both sad, unwanted instances). And three: your nausea (which could still occur in both sad, unwanted instances).

Once at home, you took a hot second getting ready for bed— lost in thought, you decided to try to tiring yourself with a bath, complete with lavender scented bath salts and bubbles. Once you were finally in bed, cozy in your softest pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt, you tried so hard to force yourself to sleep. You didn’t want to have to wait any longer to call the nice little clinic you’d found. 

And you sure as hell weren’t hungry. Didn’t want to eat with your stomach spinning with so many nerves.

And, the sooner you fell asleep, the sooner you could call the clinic and schedule an appointment. 

- 🌼🌼🌼-

But, after laying there for what felt like hours– the sounds of calming ocean waves playing through your phone and everything– you were still awake. 

You were drowning in all of the thoughts. Drown-ing. 

One that was flashing brightly at the front of your mind was why you even cared so much. And, the more you thought about it, tossing and turning, you realized you’d found the most unique, fulfilling form of reassurance in carrying the child. You wanted this baby. It had happened without you even meaning it to. . . but you wanted this baby so. fucking. badly. You’d tried damn hard not to want the little thing, but now that you’d spent so much time pondering it and holding your tummy? There was no question about any of it. You just wanted your baby and you couldn’t figure out how to explain it.

After rolling around far too much in bed, you realized you still hadn’t heard the telling sounds of Jake coming home. So, you decided to venture out into the living room to let a TV show distract you. Hopefully distract you enough to go to sleep. Pillow, Stanley, and phone in hand, you grabbed the fluffiest blanket from your blanket basket and nestled into your couch. 

Just as you’d turned the TV to Friends–wanting to feel closer to Elsie, but not feeling brave enough to talk to her whilst already being so emotional–, you heard the sound of a key jingling in the locked doorknob. And then the door was opening and you were looking behind you at the sound— for God knows what reason.

Then he was all you saw.

Jake.

Clad in the most handsome black, felt peacoat, the top of his head hidden by a black beanie. . . the chilly evening’s attire suited him so well that it brought a ridiculous tear to your eye. 

So devastatingly handsome and not at all mine, your thoughts became enveloped with storm clouds.

Thankfully he didn’t see you staring, as he seemed to be trying to avoid eye contact as he went about setting his keys in the bowl and taking his coat off to hang it on the rack by the door. And, as his actions cemented your thoughts, your eyes became wetter, a tear falling down your cheek for this stupid ass, cruel reality that you’d created. Even if you had done it for a good reason—and you had—it still sucked big ass. 

But, just as soon as your eyes were growing teary, your heart was beating erratically in your chest. The sight of the soft, tanned skin between the opened lapels of his shirt— exposed after taking off the coat. And the silver necklaces that clanged against his bare chest were the same he’d worn for Halloween. . . Your mouth watered as you observed the way they fell between his pecs which rose and fell with balanced breaths. . . 

Seriously, fuck these hormones.

Before you could get lost in the roundness of his ass through his jeans, he turned to the counter once more. You flipped back to your original spot on the couch. You decided to 

feign any knowledge of him being home, curling into a little ball on the couch and closing your eyes to fake sleep. 

When you heard him make a stop at his bedroom and then heard the bathroom door click shut, you stayed wrapped in your cocoon on the couch. And before too long, you felt yourself fading to black, one final tear slipping past your closed lids as Rachel and Ross argued over being on a break.

-🌼🌼🌼-

Initially, you weren’t sure what it was that brought you back from such a deep slumber. But, once you heard him, you knew. The deep, raspy laugh that was slightly muffled through you gaining consciousness. 

Why was he in the living room? Was he? Was this your imagination? A taunting dream?

You cracked an eye open the slightest bit to allow some adjustment to the light you’d shut your eyes to. But. . . There was no overhead light. It was off. The room would’ve been pitch black, save for your standing lamp’s yellow glow and the blue light from your TV. 

More importantly, the warning feeling of a crick in your neck was suddenly catching your attention. So, without worrying about your company, you quickly sat up to attempt getting more comfortable. You didn’t want to feel awkward around him, but you also didn’t want to deal with a hitch in your neck or a migraine in the morning. 

The loud yawn that escaped you once you’d sat up couldn’t be helped. You were slightly embarrassed at the obnoxiously loud noise that emitted from your mouth as you stretched. Blushing, you glanced over at your fellow living room occupant to see if he’d even noticed. 

And, of course, he had. 

He was staring at you—but. . . not judgmentally. Not at all. In fact, his eyes held the natural, reassuring lightness that occupied your sweetest recent memories. And the small grin on his face. . . was shocking, to say the least. 

Why was he acting so okay with you? He’d been so distant recently. . .

You knit your eyebrows together, hyper aware of his presence and needing answers as to why he had decided to sit next to you. 

“What are you doing here?” You clipped, tone sharp. You brought your blanket all the way up to your chin and around your shoulders, as a way to protect yourself from the (obviously) harmless man. 

Although, you instantly regretted it as his expression became apprehensive rather than open like seconds before. 

Why do you have to go and ruin everything, y/n? 

He leaned back, his eyebrows furrowed as he balanced a bowl of (. . . macaroni and cheese? Fuck, that looked good.) on his knee, holding onto it with one hand. “I live here, y/n.”

And yet another memory was flashing back to you from the night you got high. . . his breath, hot on your neck, your skin erupting in goosebumps as he said similar words then– your skin flaming now, too. Just the sound of his voice could elicit the most from you. Fuck your pregnant feelings.

Or were they just feelings? The fear came rushing back the moment you thought yourself pregnant. . . was there a baby in there? God, fuck. . . you really didn’t want to sit in this train of thought again. 

You figured you might as well use your company to distract you. . . .You missed talking to him anyways–missed it so damn bad. 

But your tummy interrupted you. The growl that emitted from it was fucking humiliating, honestly, but it had happened. And after eyeing you curiously for a minute, Jake’s lips turned up with a one breathy laugh, his beautiful pearly whites on full display. God, he was handsome.

“You hungry?” He questioned, lifting his mac and cheese. “I made more of this. It’s just the shit Kraft, but it still hits the spot.”

Nodding, you went to hesitantly get up to get some. You really didn’t want to move from under the security of your warm, cozy blanket. 

“No, just wait here,” he insisted, standing. His pajama pants were your favorites (the ones he didn’t normally wear underwear with). But you did not watch his crotch for movement. Your eyes were just staring at the wrong place at the wrong time. Really. “I have to wash my bowl anyway. I’ll put the rest in a bowl for you while I’m up.” 

Again, why was he being so fucking nice? But you weren’t about to disagree. You were comfy and hungry and he was offering. It felt like old times and you felt like being momentarily delusional.

“Okay,” you quietly agreed, your eyes shifted, unsure to his face. But he was moving before you could look at him. Back to the kitchen. After a few moments, he was back, handing you a little white bowl with a spoon. The scrumptious, cheesy noodles made your eyes light up. “Thank you.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, responding as though elsewhere. This was weird and you hated how it all felt. But he kept talking, filling the air as he sat a beer on the end table beside him, before sitting back down in the chair. “I had to get a beer anyway. Long day with the guys and May–,” he cleared his throat, his eyes shutting briefly as he shook his head.

Fuck. Thanks, Jake, you thought, your eyes on the verge of welling with tears. The moments of silence, hanging in the air, closing in around you. Not fucking now, hormones.

All you wanted to do was ask why it had been a long day. Get more information that might hurt you. Why did you do that to yourself? 

Though, before you could say anything, he continued. Awkwardly, his eyes flashing momentarily to the TV to reset as he spoke. “Long day. I should’ve asked if you wanted one.”

Your cheeks heated. . . little did he know. “I’m good,” you mumbled, looking down at your bowl. Stomach sinking with your thoughts from earlier, you decided to eat before you lost your appetite again. Not the time to be sad. “Thanks though.”

The next few minutes went by in a silence you wanted to stab with a fucking knife. It was seriously unpleasant and sucked ass. After you both laughed at a certain thing Joey said, you figured you might as well try to keep some sort of conversation going. Because, god, you missed him. 

“I meant in here, by the way,” you motioned with your head to the space around you, mouth full. (Ladylike.) 

His brow raised as he looked from the screen to you, setting his gaze on you. “What are you–?”

“My question. Why you were here,” you embarrassingly restated, hearing how it must’ve sounded. “In the living room. With me. Why you were in here, in the living room, with me, of all places.”

He sat further back, but this time going to sit in the armchair comfortably. His feet propped up on the ottoman across from him. “Well,” he covered his mouth, coughing briefly into his fist. “To be fair– you were sleeping when I came to sit down in here.” 

Rather than being unnecessarily hurt over him only wanting to be in the same room as a sleeping version of you, you let yourself give in to the temptation and take advantage of him being distracted by his next task. You missed everything about him. . . even such a simple thing as watching him move.

Pathetic. And, because your mind hated you, it felt like you were watching him move in slow motion.

You watched in a daze as he leaned over to the tall lamp’s attached table, his self-cut gray t-shirt rising up at his hips to show his firm abdomen flex with the stretch. It shouldn’t be so fucking hot to watch someone reach for a fucking beer bottle. But, the sight that greeted you next was worse than seeing his side peeking from his shirt. What you saw next were his full, pink lips, wrapping just right around the glass top of his beer bottle as he took a generous sip of his Miller Lite. You admired, mouth open as his adam’s apple bobbed in his throat with each gulp of the beer. 

But when he went to repeat his action of leaning over the chair to set the bottle back, you decided to look away so as to save yourself from the torture (or, from the possibility of being caught). You took a bite of the mac and cheese, growing cold in your bowl.

Your heart was already hammering much too erratically from glimpsing these ridiculously mundane motions. . . fuck it all. The heat from being so near to him and watching him settled from your head all the way to the pit of your tummy. You swallowed down your bite thickly.

Your tummy.

“Yeah,” you muttered, awkwardly – you just wanted to have a conversation to get your mind off things. Problem was, you didn’t know where to necessarily start with him these days. . . Work? The band? Maya? God, no. . . gag.

Lucky for you, he took the initiative before you had much longer to overthink it. “I’m glad you woke up, though.” He pulled at his plaid pajama bottoms as he scooted up again, going back to get comfortable on the ottoman. Sitting with his legs spread (dammit), he balanced his elbows on his knees as he reached for his phone in his pocket. “I actually wanted to run something past you.”

God, please don’t say you found a place and you’re moving out. . . you thought, suddenly downcast and dreading what he was about to say. Or that you’re moving out to live with her.

You swallowed the thickness in your throat, trying to alleviate the unwarranted nerves before responding. Dispelling them with food, you took one more bite before swallowing it to talk. “And what’s that?” 

So what if he wanted to move out? He damn well could. He surely had the money and you two weren’t involved. 

He scrolled for a few more moments, your heart thump-thump-thumping without relenting. . . And finally, he found what he was looking for and before you had time to prepare, his eyes were sinking into yours earnestly. 

God. . . what is he about to sa–?

“I found a place for you to get therapy,” he stated, tone soft and careful. 

Therapy? Safe to say you were not expecting those words. 

And rather than being nervous, your emotions shifted to defensiveness. Where did he get off looking into that for you? Why was he . . .? Was he talking about the promise he’d made in his bed? That same night you’d panicked at your grandparents’? He’d remembered to do that? Why did he even care, still? You didn’t deserve for him to care– didn’t want him to care. It felt uncomfortable. 

“Why?” You sharply asked, holding your bowl in stiff hands on your lap. 

He leveled you with a look that said ‘cut it out.’ Did he really know where your thoughts were trailing? Was he still that in tune with you? Surely not. He was probably just irritated with your tone of voice. “I told you I would look for you, so I’ve been keeping up my end of the deal. I’ve actually asked a few clients if they knew of any nearby therapists worth their salt,” he peeked back at his phone, scrolling on it when he spoke next. “And there are actually quite a few good ones in the area.”

Your heart still beat harshly in your chest as you felt your skin heat with rage. You set your bowl down on the coffee table. And, the blanket, suddenly suffocating you, was flung off without a thought. “So, what is this? Is this you saying I’m a fucking loony, Jake? I’m sure you’ve been desperate as fucking hell to get me help because you think I’m such a nutcase,” you spit. You sounded dramatic (and, admittedly, like a deranged woman). You knew that. If you were thinking sensibly, you’d know he didn’t believe those things. . . but you were embarrassed that he’d been thinking so hard about this. It hurt your feelings that he thought you needed help that badly. “I’m just so broken and damaged and insane that you’ve decided you need to get a damn shrink to fix me.” Your lap was a sudden magnet for your eyes, your hands entangled on your pajama bottoms. Now, the hot teardrop that hit your interlocked hands was not expected and you swiftly swiped at your cheek. “Thanks for thinking so long and hard and asking God and everybody to find the most qualified person to psychoanalyze the shit out of me,” you sniffled, a couple more tears falling before you willed them away and looked in his eyes. “Thank you so much, Jake.”

But he wasn’t flustered. . . no, he actually sat there and took it. The brow that had raised on his face as you spoke was the only indicator that he’d heard you. 

The emotions you were experiencing were big and uncalled for. . . but, you were stressed. Over a lot of things. Doubting a lot of things. Your life seemed like one humongous question mark and you were sleepy as fuck and it was all just catching the fuck up with you. 

He cleared his throat, glancing once more at his phone before setting it on the arm of the chair. A tiny smirk ghosted briefly over his lips before they were set in a flat line again as he spoke next. His eyes stayed trained on his own hands, now clasped as well. “Y/n. . . Please. You know I don’t fuckin’ think those things,” he tried quietly, slightly testy, but not harsh. Then his irises found yours once more, making your heart rate speed up. You did know that. . . You knew better. He was right. “You agreed to this. I wouldn’t have made a point to look into this if you hadn’t okayed it,” he stretched his hands out and then combed them through his long, chestnut locks. 

His jaw flexed and he eyed you once more, digging into the heart of this before going any deeper. “I don’t want to force it on you. I won’t go any further in this conversation if you don’t want it. This is your decision. You know I looked into therapists. That’s it. You choose where you want this to go and then I’ll either leave you alone or tell you what I found out.”

You felt bit by bit of your current guard break down as you slowly relented. Because, well, you did want to know what he’d found out. Absentmindedly, you glanced down at where you’d subconsciously placed your hands over your stomach. It was habit at this point. That one reason underneath your fingertips was pushing you to know what he’d come to know. If you were, in fact, with child, you were desperate to start therapy. Yeah, sure, you wanted to get help for your sake. . . but more-so the child’s sake. Because, honestly, if you were not with child, you weren’t really sure if you’d want to push yourself to do that– go through all of those intense measures and changes and emotions that you knew only therapy could bring.

There was a ginormous sneaking, sinking suspicion in your gut. The one that was telling you there was a helluva lot more simmering, boiling beneath the surface than you knew. There had to be. For all the blaming you’d put on Jake just now, you knew you were a basket case. And there were some good fucking reasons behind it that you had to get to the bottom of. 

You had to do it for your child. And, on the off chance that your worst fears would come to light and you weren’t actually pregnant, it wouldn’t hurt to at least hear Jake out. Listen to what he’d found. 

You mumbled your next words. “Do you think I need fixing?” Dear God–where had that vulnerability come from? Did you want to know his answer?

Jake brought a thumb and forefinger up to his chin as he scratched it in contemplation, still measuring you with a long look. “I think it’s more complex than that, y/n,” he breathed a sigh out, as if not sure how to say what he was actually thinking. 

And dammit– it hurt for him to not just respond with a simple “no, I don’t think you need fixing.” More complex? What the hell did that even mean? 

“Do you think I’m brok–?”

“No,” he sighed. Then, he had your heart leaping into your throat when, in one swift motion, he was standing and walking the ottoman closer to where you sat on the couch. When he plopped down, he didn’t touch you. . . but the closer proximity was enough. The way your eyes naturally flitted momentarily to where his chest steadily rose and fell. You breathed with him. He spoke his next words with a low rasp, eyes serious as they pored into yours. “You are not broken.”

Your heart fluttered, making its way back to its home in your chest. “Okay,” you muttered. You needed to hear him say that– more than you’d ever be comfortable admitting. Finally, you responded to his prior offer. You knew what you wanted. “Tell me what you found out.”

Jake watched you for a few more seconds before leaning back a little, reaching back to grab his phone from the arm of the chair he’d been sitting in. You averted your sight to your hands this time, not watching his movements. Your hands, which were still nestled nonchalantly on your tummy. 

“So,” he started. Your gaze flickered up to him, a lazy smile fitting to your face. You watched his lips move as he spoke. Honestly, you hated how safe he felt. It wrapped you up cozier than the blanket that’d been around you moments ago. And the sad reality: you couldn’t wrap yourself up in him. You’d have to take what you could get. “I found this place. About 30 minutes from us. It’s a bit of a lengthy drive, but I figured it was worth it. It’s a clinic that’s very well known by many people around here, I’ve found out.”

“Expensive?” 

“Eh. Yeah. Pricier than others,” he clicked his tongue, raised his brow. “But– I asked Josh offhandedly the other day what the insurance was like at the B&G to figure out if it was covered by your–.”

“What do you mean offhandedly?” You nudged, hoping he hadn’t divulged that it was about you. “You didn’t tell him–?”

“No. I just asked him as if I was comparing it to mine at the agency that I teach lessons through,” he reassured. You breathed in relief. He snickered. “I wouldn’t tell him anything about. . .,” he cleared his throat, his eyes shifting from your face to the wall behind your head and then to his phone again. “Anyways. . . they’re covered by your insurance.”

At the end of the day, it didn’t really matter if Josh found out. . . he was about to have a massive bomb dropped on him (by you, of course). But. . . you still didn’t really want him finding anything out from Jake. Didn’t want him hearing anything before you were ready. 

“Cool,” you grinned, trying to ease the tension. He opened his mouth to continue, but you stopped him before he could. “Thank you, by the way. For looking into this.”

He looked surprised and you hated that he seemed that way. You should have been more appreciative to begin with. . . this was such a selfless thing for him to do and you’d reacted by getting defensive and snapping. When that was the last thing he deserved. God, you were awful sometimes. 

He smiled, wide and close-lipped. “Of course. I told you I would.”

You nodded, looking back to your hands, which you’d let move to your lap. Didn’t want him catching on to you holding your stomach. “What’s the next step?”

“Well,” he began, hesitantly. “I called them for a quote and asked about a specific therapist.”

“Why specific?” You questioned, scrunching your brows. 

“That leads into the next part, actually. . .,” he slowly continued, “She’s the only one at their practice that specializes in this unique form of therapy. A type I’ve read and researched on a fuck ton. . . I wanted to find the perfect method for your specific traumatic effects. So, I thought of the dreams. . . how you like control. . . I think it’s the type of therapy you could benefit most from.”

Damn. Way to call you out on your need for control. If anyone knew how much you desired control, though, you figured he did. But. . .now you were even more curious. . . because. . . you were venturing into different types? Wouldn’t just be sitting down with a shrink? What did he have in mind?

“And this type is. . .?”

His eyes light up, excitedly, as if he’s been dying to get to this part. “It’s called EMDR,” he voiced with a tinge of apprehension and elated anticipation. As you mouthed the letters under your breath, he clarified further. “Eye, E. Movement, M. Desensitization, D. And Reprocessing, R.”

You blinked a few times and shook your head. “Okay,” you stated slowly, placing your hands in front of you to indicate he needed to slow down. “What the fuck does all of that mean though?”

“Before I continue, I need you to know: I’ve done a shit ton of research and out of all of it, I’ve become really invested and interested in this type of therapy specifically. . . and for good reason. I’m really hopeful that it will help you,” he emphasized, eyes sincere. 

Your tummy did somersaults at how invested he’d become in all of this . . . but your mind stuttered momentarily at the flutter. You couldn’t help but get lost in the thought of a little bean in there and how you hoped to feel little kicks someday (obviously not yet, Jesus Christ), not just Jake-induced butterflies. God, you hoped there was a little thing in there. . . 

Jake’s steady, soft voice brought you back to the present and to his face that peered down at his phone, reading carefully. “To put it simply: it’s like a form of hypnosis. A way to force you to remember certain things so you can finally move on and heal from them.”

You blanched at that. “I’m going to be hypnotized?” To say you were second guessing this was a massive understatement. This EMDR shit could take a back seat. You were already apprehensive about getting help–even with the traditional approach. “I’m not down for hyp-fucking-nosis. Hell no. And all for the sake of remembering things I don’t really care to remember in the first place? I don’t think so, Jake,” you shook your head, toying with a loose thread at the bottom of your t-shirt. “I’m already taking a hugeass leap by being willing to go to therapy itself. I don’t need the voodoo shit . . . I’ll settle for the traditional approach,” you paused, not wanting to get too far ahead before showing your thanks. “But. . . thank you for–.”

“No, no. Listen,” he said, laying one hand on your knee for a blip of a second, your mind short-circuited at the touch. He damn sure had your attention now. “It’s different. Yes, you’ll remember things. But . . . well. . . Shit, I don’t know how to explain it in my own words. 

“Well, just send me a link and I’ll give it a read and we’ll settle–.”

“Quit,” he sternly said. “Quit saying that you’re going to settle. I don’t want you to settle. I want you to get to the root of this. . . so you can heal. Please. Hear me out,” he pleaded, the hand going back to rest on your knee for a few moments longer than last time before he removed it again. “It's–it’s more than remembering. It’s like— like your mind takes you back to the memory. You’re there all over again, living it a second time.”

“Yeah,” you went to stand up, but he moved with you, showing you he would follow you. So, you stayed put. Dear God, Jacob. “I don’t want to live the shit for a second time. Why the hell would I want to do that?“

“Do you want to fucking heal?” He snapped, his eyes searching yours for any sort of bullshit.

You blinked, “Damn,” you began, a sarcastic, irritated smirk on your face when you shook your head. Could he give you a break, maybe? Shit. But, still, you answered him. And his impatient, waiting eyes. Your answer was a no-brainer for you at this point. “Yes, Jake. I want to fucking heal.”

His jaw flexed as he let out a deep breath, through his nose, pinching the bridge of it. “So, please, y/n. . . just listen to me. Hear me out. You don’t have to do it. I just want you to let me explain it first,” he begged, eyes trained on yours, following every flicker of them. The unsureness you communicated through your gaze was balanced by the overwhelming sureness in his. You nodded for him to continue. He reciprocated the action, continuing with a deep breath in and and a deep breath out. “EMDR allows you to heal by letting you be in charge of your healing. You have the power to leave the situation this time. You’re in control of it now. It’s the past. But you have to face it. . . That’s part of it. . . The cool thing is, though. . . you can control whether you stay or leave a memory; you control how you move on from it.”

Well, goddammit. . . Of course he’d know just what to say to get you to finally listen to him. 

Control. That single word finally flicked the lightbulb on in your stubborn, jaded head. 

You paused heavily in your opposition, taking note of his far too sincere features. Perhaps he truly was just trying to help you, a sentiment that had always felt utterly foreign to you throughout your life. You’d held all of your guards up so high for so indescribably long. It took a lot for you to dare let anyone in aside from your sister (who, if you had to be honest, simply didn’t have a choice being your own flesh and blood. . .And given the fact that she lived it, too). 

But the harsh reality of the matter was, you had let Jake in. Too much. If it weren’t for the seriousness of the moment, you could’ve smirked at the irony of just how much– the possible little life in your tummy, a constant reminder in recent times. And, well, you’d definitely let him in enough that he knew you came with some serious trauma.

You watched him carefully, suddenly beginning to realize that the only reason you’d felt so reluctant to heed his guidance with this bizarre form of therapy. The reason you always doubted him– you couldn’t fathom the fact that he truly wanted to help you. 

But, time and again he seemed to prove you wrong. Even after you’d bitched him out to kingdom come in the kitchen months ago. There was no reason for him to want to help you. But here he was. With his research, his beautiful and honest eyes, the phone that he gripped with purpose with explanation after explanation, as if a lifeline. . .

He cared. Whether you could accept it or not. . .it didn’t change the fact that he actually cared. 

“I’ll go talk to the therapist,” you finally offered, relenting as much as you could at that moment. “I’ll feel it all out after I talk to her about it. . .,” you leveled, feeling fair in that decision. 

And he didn’t question, just shook his head with a lip stuck out. “Yeah, yeah. Totally.”

“How do I schedule the appointment?”

-🌼🌼🌼-

The next day was spent making strides towards your future. You scheduled the OBGYN appointment as soon as the clinic opened— being as that was the first, major priority. Setting that up had been simple. A date and time. The insurance you’d be using. Then, you’d hung up.

But, as soon as you’d set that up (and felt utter relief at having that panned out), you called the counseling practice Jake had told you about. And, you set up a therapy session with the woman Jake had given you the name of for the day before your first OB appointment. . . 

The counseling appointment was set up for the upcoming Monday. . . For some reason, when you’d been on the phone, scheduling for the nearest date available had seemed like the only logical option. But, it hadn’t been as cut and dry as your scheduling for the doctor’s appointment. There’d been a form. They’d informed you that they would email it for you to fill out with some general information (and a picture) before your first appointment. It was slightly daunting, but not totally unexpected, the more you’d thought about it. It was an understandably reasonable precursor to your first session. Just a few minor things to assist in your therapist knowing the most basic things about you before beginning. 

Doing it before the OB appointment had also seemed like a good idea. Talking to someone about the newfound worries to help you wade through the days to seeing the obstetrician. . . It seemed like a good plan of action. Made you feel more peace for the whole situation, honestly. 

So, that Friday, as you settled into your seat for a stupid ass writing course, you didn’t even care as you felt like other things were on the move. Honestly, at this point, you wanted to say fuck school and your distaste for the major you’d chosen. . . As they didn’t really matter in the grand scheme of it all. Bigger things were about to start happening. 

And you could only hope that what awaited you would be positive. . . Positive bigger things ahead. 

Bigger things that looked like real healing and a baby with Jake’s eyes.

-🌼🌼🌼-

The couch was leather and a little cold, even through your leggings. . . and the small office-room smelled like essential oils. It was reminiscent of a spa without the ambience music. 

The place didn’t need the music, though. . . the oils and general atmosphere were the perfect, calming mixture. . . Well thought out combination of smells and colors to ease the mind. 

But no therapist. Not yet. You’d been led by the secretary into a room where you now sat by yourself. She’d offered tea, coffee, and water, with a large, welcoming smile on her freckled face. You couldn’t refuse the offer, so you’d accepted the option of water. 

It had been in a bottle, and you clutched it tightly, opened only for the tiniest sip as you let your body relax as much as it could, leaning the slightest bit back into the couch. 

And you continued to wait. 

You watched the closed wooden door, your eyes wandering every now and then to the artwork that depicted gardens and fresh flowers. . . Some were beautiful paintings, while others were simple little drawings, or even real flowers, pressed in a glass frame. 

The walls were tinged with a light sage—the color, oddly easing to the mind. 

Then the knob was twisting open, matching the feeling of your nervous tummy. The muscles at the pit of your stomach flexed and flinched at the prospect of the therapist. What was she going to be like? Would she match the cool, relaxing environment of her office? You could only fucking hope. . .

Looking down at your hands to avoid any awkward eye contact, you took note of how badly you needed a manicure. . . damn. 

“Y/n?” A reposeful, gentle voice interrupted your nail critique. You looked up to acknowledge your long-awaited company. . . and man, was she completely different from your last therapist. The first thing you noticed was that she was. . . young. Mid-thirties at the very oldest. She was much younger than your aging counselor from the past. How long had she been doing this? “I’m Gianna. But all of my clients and closest friends call me Gia.”

“Gia,” you tried it out, letting a small smile fit to your face. It was a genuine smile– you were relieved. Without even really knowing her, you already felt so at ease with her. She was one of those people–like Elsie or Josh–who just carried a naturally empathetic, calming air. Made you feel like you were standing in the breeze on a warm spring day. “Nice to meet you.”

Her hair, naturally dark, but dyed beautifully to be a blonde-gray, was up in a styled messy bun. Lips, painted in the most beautiful naturally red tint. . . and the round, wire-framed glasses that sat on the bridge of her nose complimented her soft features so incredibly well. The freckles on her pale face, visible through the circular frames. Her cheeks were tinged with a perfectly rosy blush, and they swelled with your greeting. 

She adjusted her loose, beige overalls over her off-white, long-sleeved mock neck. The overalls were the fabric ones that’d gone viral (which helped you to note how incredibly trendy she was, if you hadn’t already been able to guess that). She inhaled and exhaled easily, her lips quirking even more than before. “It’s nice to meet you, y/n,” she repeated back to you. “I’m sorry it took me a bit to make my entrance. I like to give my people some time to adjust to the space before they’re bombarded with all of the therapy stuff. It’s an important thing to me.” Then her leg was being bent to balance her white, platform converse on the seat of her pale pink rolling chair. “Before we begin. . . I also need you to know that my office has a completely open door policy. If, at any moment, you start feeling uncomfortable, please let me know and you may leave to take a break, or simply leave the practice to adjust your thoughts before the next session. Won’t charge you for the whole time or anything. . .,” she added the last part, surely as another financially conscientious adult. “I just know that sometimes this shit gets tough–baring all of it and having to get through it. . . it’s rarely easy, and I want to be able to foster a healthy, resting environment for you as you wade through all of it.”

“Wow,” you blinked, your heart warm in your chest as you let yourself sink a little further into the couch, shoulders loosening just a bit. “That’s amazing. Thank you.”

Winking, she brought the mug up to her lips that she’d carried in with her. After taking a sip, she sat it on her desk and then wrapped both arms around her bent leg. “Is there anything you’d like to know about me and my profession before we begin?”

You pondered that, always having questions swirling in your head. “Just general things,” you snorted, playing it off. “Stupid, basic shit that I don’t need answered.”

“Nothing is stupid in here, sweets,” she said firmly, her eyes communicating more than the words she’d said. “Sometimes misguided and confused, yes, but never stupid.” She used the foot on the ground to swing the chair from side to side, ever-so-slightly. “Sooo, shoot. Ask anything you’d like–basic or not.”

Blinking at her again, you let your grip on your water bottle ease up. “Oh, um,” you quietly began. You scrambled for the right words. “Well, I guess I was wondering how long you’ve been doing this?”

She giggled. “Oh, sure. . . I’ve been practicing for about five years. Administered EMDR for the past two or so. . .” Her cheeks were still rosy with a gentle smile when she spoke next. “I will ask, though. . . did you not check out the website prior to this?”

Fuck. You hadn’t thought to do that. That was strange. . . usually you’d jump at the chance of looking into anything and everything before diving head first into something. Especially something as serious as a life-changing thing like therapy and the person you’d be inevitably baring your soul to. What in the fuck? Why hadn’t you thought to do that?

“I– um,” you searched her eyes, as if they held your answer. “I didn’t. Which is strange for me.”

“It’s not a big deal, really,” she said, grabbing her mug from her desk again. But before taking a sip, she continued. “I just noted on your form that you like having control over the things that transpire in your life. And checking the website to do some solid research seems like just the way to do that.” She took a sip, humming as she took it away from her full lips. “But there’s my thoughts going to crazy places based primarily on black and white principles. And we’re definitely not here to do that,” she shook her body as if shaking it off, putting her leg down and nestling her mug between her hands. “I don’t look at shit in black and white. That’s something that, as your therapist, I need you to know. There’s a lot of healing properties found in the gray.”

You couldn’t explain it, but the last sentence left you feeling this overwhelming sense of hope and understanding. Without even knowing you, she seemed to get the fact that you came with a lot of fuckin’ gray. All kinds of shades of the color. Had you been that transparent on your form? Not able to remember it, you just pushed it to the side as you figured it didn’t really matter. Because even if you had been open on the form, you were about to get much more transparent.

“Thank you,” was all you said, the water bottle held in loose hands as you comfortably crossed your legs. “My life has left me pretty fucking gray, so that’s a relief.”

“There’s beauty in the gray, love,” she noted, leaning forward as if engaging even further in the conversation (as if she wasn’t already remarkably with-it). She held her tea steady in her hands, and you couldn’t help but look down at the mug to see what it looked like. And, of course, it was covered in pale flowers, just like her office. “I’m down for any more questions you may have.”

“Family?”

“Just a fiancé, but other than her, I’m pretty estranged from much more family. Boundaries are a specialty of mine, and I’ve had to set a few in my life,” she said, assured and confident. “No kids yet. We aren’t quite sure if we want them or not.”

You nodded. But, you were not able to hold back the wetness that gathered in your eyes. The tears settled at your ducts and if you blinked, you knew they’d fall. The way you were feeling at the moment was unexplainable. So many things at once. But, most importantly, you were thankful. Thankful for people like Gia. The woman exuded peace and you weren’t sure why you’d ever questioned trying therapy again when there were women like her in this profession. 

“Thank you,” you said again, as if you were a manufactured robot. Then you shook your head, embarrassed at your currently tiny vocabulary. “I’m sorry I keep saying that. I’m just grateful there’s people like you in this world.”

Wow. Okay. So we’re getting real honest and sentimental now, huh? A good-humored voice asked you. Here for it.

“That’s very sweet of you,” she said quietly, respecting the new emotions in the room. “Are you ready to tell me a bit about you?”

Letting the tears fall with a blink, you wiped at them with a breathy laugh. She grabbed the nearest tissue box and handed it to you. You wiped under your eyes and dabbed at your cheeks. “Chose to not wear makeup for a reason,” you chuckled, internally thanking past-you. She laughed with you, placing the Kleenex on the couch next to you for proper access, then sat back, balancing her elbows on her thighs as she held her face up with open palms. 

“Whenever you’re ready,” she said once you’d settled. “We’ve got the next hour and a half.”

“How much do you wanna know?” You huffed, rolling your eyes as you placed your locked hands over your tummy. “I’m a basket case.”

Her eyes sparkled. “As much as you’re willing to tell me,” she affirmed with a wink behind her glasses. “I’m all ears.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

So, as you left that day, you were absolutely confident in saying Gia knew about as much of your life as Elsie did. And that was saying something.

She’d just been so receptive, and had kept encouraging you– as you cried and laughed and sighed and growled. She kept reminding you that she wanted to ‘hear as much as you’d give her’. That she was ‘in your corner’ and that she was ‘there for you.’ And her words and kind eyes were enough to spur you on. Continue to the point of her knowing nearly everything there was to know about your life. 

From your childhood to now, Gia was now totally knowledgeable in the realm of Y/n. 

Thankfully, there’d been no EMDR, as she informed you that next session you’d begin talking about the intricacies of the practice and whether or not you wanted to begin with it the session after your next. She wanted to take time to adjust and ‘simply be’ before introducing the innovative method of therapy.

She’d given a couple of tidbits about it, just for you to think about before the next session, but not too much, since the next session was dedicated to her actually breaking it down for you. 

“Now, before you leave, I want you to know that we can locate your safe place next time. The place in your mind where you’ll return when you need a breath of fresh air amidst the memories,” she’d offered, hands in her pockets, tea cup abandoned as you stood up alongside her to follow her out of the office. But before you two left the office space, she took the time to assure you once more. “But only if that is what you decide you want. This is your life, sweets, and I’m just here to help you through it.”

And, for the eighty-millionth time that day, you’d told her ‘thank you.’ You were going to take a bit of time to consider it. 

She’d also given you a few nuggets of wisdom. 

They’d specifically followed the end of your session, when you’d broken down about the unsureness of your pregnancy (but easily applied to the rest of your messy ass life). 

One thing she said to do: “Slow down your thoughts. Do not let them take control. Slow them down and figure them out with what you know. Piece by piece, break them down before they get too astronomically crazy.”

Another being: “Let yourself feel peace. Just every once in a while, let yourself feel it and don’t let guilt eat you alive for it.” (When you’d laughed sarcastically, she’d nodded, agreeing that it was “most definitely easier said than done.”)

She had been wonderful at assuring you that it was most definitely a product of your trauma to react so preposterously. How you thought certain decisions and thoughts might give you peace, yet always resulted in the opposite. But, she’d also told you that you’d ��figure it out bit by bit” as you move along and to “give yourself grace” as you navigate it all on your own, in your day-to-day life.

But, there was one singular, specific piece of advice she’d offered that was sticking out more than much else. 

Of course, you’d filled her in all the way up to your appointment tomorrow and Elsie’s idea for Josh to attend with you. You wanted her opinion on it, asking for as much, and she’d been firm in her opinion. Her words rang in your head as you navigated the late afternoon New York traffic on your way back home.

“Your sister is a genius,” she’d said astonishingly, blowing out a breath from between her naturally full lips. “Everything she said is exactly what I’d tell you, too, sweets. And if it helps to hear this, even as an outside party, Josh sounds like the type of person to receive it in a non-traumatizing manner. He will, most definitely, be sensitive to your feelings. And, having him there will help you feel less alone and calm in your worries. . . and it will help him feel needed–like Elsie said. So, truly, it’s a win-win. If I had my way, I’d make sure Josh is there tomorrow. But, again, it’s your life and it’s up to you.”

“How do I even ask, though?” You asked pathetically, pulling your sleeves down over your hands as you began to get nervous at the prospect. 

“Take a deep breath,” she calmly recited (as she’d done a time or two during your life lament). After doing it with you, she settled you with an understanding gaze. “Just text him. Tell him you have an important appointment tomorrow and that you need him there with you.”

“And if he asks what it’s for?”

“I’d say you tell him that you’ll tell him when you see him or when you get there,” she advised. “But, I don’t think he’s the type of person to question when you’re being vulnerable like that. I’d bet you he just agrees to it, no questions asked– if he’s free, that is,” she winked. 

So, with her sitting there, you’d texted him and asked exactly what she’d told you to. The thing about having an “important appointment.”

And even though he hadn’t responded, you tried to not overthink it as you calmed down from telling your entire life story to your therapist.

When you’d pulled into the apartment complex, your stomach sank at the sight that greeted you. Your space was awaiting you, but Jake’s, next to yours, was empty. Per usual these days, his new purchase of a used car was not at home at the same time as you. Really, you’d gotten used to his lack of presence. But it always made you sadder than you wanted to admit. Because, well, you knew if he wasn’t at the studio or some rehearsal, he was most likely with Maya (you were awfully glad he didn’t bring her around the apartment too much, but still. . .your mind went crazy at the other prospects of what they were doing). 

But today, it was worse. You were sad for more than your assumptions about his whereabouts. Today, you desperately wanted to tell him thank you– wanted to fill him in on how it had gone so great. But he wasn’t there. Because you’d pushed him away (something that Gia told you you’d ‘navigate the reasoning for’).

So, as you trudged up the steps, instead of walking in to tell Jake, you just took time to relax as much as you could. And you figured a good way to do that was to give yourself a long ‘everything shower,’ with your most favorite R&B playlist playing as background noise. 

And when you’d gotten out, the screen that you opened your phone to was something that brought a swarm of anxiously joyous butterflies. Under his name, there was a ‘Yes, of course!’ from Josh. And below his text, was a notification for your next appointment with Gia. One week from today. 

Everything would be okay. It would. You recited this as you responded to him, deciding to try your best not to think of telling him until you absolutely had to tomorrow, after hitting send with a simple ‘thank you :)’.

You kept reciting that everything would ‘be okay’ as you put a hand to the firm little bump, growing steadily at the bottom of your tummy. And you contemplated as much as you were willing to, without reducing yourself to any more tears (you’d cried enough already for one day). Because now all you were going to be plagued with for the next several hours until your OB appointment was whether there was actually a baby in your growing belly. 

You then ate a giant salad (everything else you wanted to eat had made you feel nauseous as hell), as you’d watched Friends. Your thoughts were subdued, but still spiraled a tad. . .though, you took Gia’s advice and tried to slow them down to navigate each one with what you genuinely knew. There was nothing telling you that you weren’t with child besides your own convoluted mess of negative thought. More signs were pointing to that you still were. One piece of truth keeping you going was your growing belly. And even though bellies could still grow after miscarriage or in the case of hysterical pregnancy, the probability of that being your situation was very, very slim. Right?

You knew that. 

Before too long, you were standing in front of your vanity, braiding your wet hair and laying down to find rest much easier than many nights in recent times. . . the only thing that kept you up for a bit longer than you wanted was wondering why Jake hadn’t come home yet.

But, again, you knew it was none of your fucking business.

-🌼🌼🌼-

The next afternoon had you waiting outside of your apartment as soon as Josh said he was about five minutes away. Your apartment had started to feel absolutely insufferable, closing in around you as your mind went crazy with scenarios.

The autumn day was lovely, sun shining, but warmer today than it’d been yet this season. With no breeze. And, the lack of breeze was not aiding in your already-sweaty palms, wet with nerves. Or your upset stomach—your current nausea induced by your anxiety more than the (hopeful) baby in your tummy.

Your stomach was fucking rolling as you waited for Josh to pull up to the complex. 

Dramatic as it may have sounded, you felt as if you were on the verge of a heatstroke when he eventually showed up in his little car, which was literally squeaking and creaking as it sat still. The exhaust emitted from the back of the car was enough to make you feel like you were actually going to blow chunks, and you instantly decided you could not ride thirty minutes to the clinic in his little hunk of metal.

Sending a quick text, you made up an excuse to take your car. To emphasize the text, you went ahead and started walking to your Jetta, parked in its usual spot.

You, 11:49 p.m.: I need to get gas… Can we take my car? 

Josh, 11:50 p.m.: Of course.

Josh, 11:50 p.m.: Are you ready?

You smiled, looking over to where he was still parked in his visitor space. His eyebrows crinkled in concentration to the device in his hand as he watched the screen, waiting for you to respond.

You, 11:51 p.m.: Yes, Joshua. I’m at my car and staring right at you.

As soon as he got the text, you waited for what you knew was coming. He looked up from his phone, through his windshield, and at you with a giant grin painted across his features. It didn’t take him long to get out of his car, lightly jogging as he came over to you. 

“You creep,” he smiled, slightly out of breath. “Peeking through my windows.”

You rolled your eyes, but your stomach started aching, yet again, at the prospect of what you were about to tell him. Honestly, at this point, you were just ready to get it over. The longer you kept it to yourself, the more you were worrying about it and his possible reaction. And the sooner you could just tell him, you’d see his honest, real reaction. . . and then you could deal with the rest from there. 

It also helped that his girlfriend and your certified therapist thought that it would go okay. They were the practical thinkers in this situation, whereas you were an overthinker to the highest degree. And, if you could just get it out–just fucking tell him–you could (hopefully) validate their predictions of how the situation would play out. 

“Am I driving or are you?” He asked, bringing your thoughts back to the present. 

To current Josh. Josh who didn’t know anything yet. Completely ignorant Josh. . . fuck. The last moments of keeping him in the dark.

“You,” was all you said before you unlocked the car and made your way to the passenger side. Once you were both inside, you handed him the keys as he started the engine.

Your stomach fucking dropped as he backed out of the space. . . what was about to come out would literally change you and Josh forever.

Would it be for good? Would it be for bad? If he was going to be mad at you, how long would he stay that way?

You couldn’t be upset with him if he got angry. For everything. Like distracting Jake when Josh had specifically told you he didn’t want that for his twin. Or for simply keeping this giant ass secret from him about it all. The more you thought about it, you thought that perhaps the reason you were so scared was because of how completely validated he would be if he did end up being pissed as hell with you. . .

But. . . you just couldn’t stand losing him. Especially at such a time as this. . . you needed him. 

And that’s why you just needed to fucking tell him. It was inevitable for him to find out, and the sooner it was out, the sooner you weren’t lying to him anymore. Because that’s exactly what you’d been doing. You’d been fucking lying. For months. To your best friend.

“So,” he began, excited–the complete opposite of how you were feeling. “Where are we going?” 

Plugging your phone into the CarPlay, you turned off Siri’s voice before you did anything since you didn’t want her blurting out your destination before you were ready to tell him. Once she was silenced, you pulled up the directions to the clinic you’d carefully chosen. 

You sat back slowly after entering it, your stomach spinning as your thoughts went insane and your nerves continued to set on white-hot fire.

You spared a glance over at him through your lashes to see him looking out the corner of his eye at you, coming up to a stoplight. The look he was giving you made you sure that your face was morphed to show utter terror and worry. “What’s wrong, mama?”

Fuck. You turned to face the front again and squeezed your eyes shut at the nickname, bringing two clenched, sweaty fists up to your eyes as your skin began to feel like it was quite actually peeling off of you in nervous jitters. Your eyes couldn’t stand being squeezed shut any longer as you felt the tears forming behind your lids.

He continued driving, but with the occasional nervous glance in your direction. 

Then, he laid a comforting palm on your shoulder, his thumb soothing circles over your arm. 

And, once he’d done that, it was no longer in your control to keep the tears at bay. You tried to fight them back, but it was to no avail. 

So, there you were, face becoming drenched in tears as you couldn’t stop sputtering little sobs. 

In your peripheral, you saw Josh looking at you as he came to one last light before the highway, face surely painted with distress. “Y/n?” He checked, careful and concerned. “I’m sorry if I said some–.”

And what came out of your mouth next was not at all expected. But, it blurted through your lips with zero fucking warning. You did not know which part of your brain had decided to communicate with your mouth to say it.

“I’m pregnant,” you sobbed.

The car lurched to a stop, cars honking furiously behind you at Josh’s abrupt action. Your stomach, already thick with nerves, couldn’t handle it. You quickly slapped an open palm over your mouth to conceal any projectile vomiting. Thankfully none came, but you had to clench your eyes shut once again as Josh made a wide, sloppy U-turn off of the street that was leading to the highway. 

And when he’d finally come to a stop again, you opened your eyes to see he’d pulled the car over into the nearest McDonald’s.

Focusing too hard on trying not to vomit helped you to stop the outrageous weeping for a few minutes. You finally peeled the hand from your mouth as you took several deep breaths, in and out, to calm yourself and your stomach. 

Before you even knew what was happening, Josh was getting out, running to the door of the establishment. You watched in the mirror to your right as he simultaneously got his wallet out of his back pocket. 

Choosing not to worry about it, you shut your eyes once more to ease your tummy. But it did not help and you felt the puke coming in just enough time to unlock your door, open it, and puke all over a piece of the yellow line that boxed the car into its space.

You groaned as you leaned back up into the car and into your seat, letting your hair fall from the impromptu ponytail that you were holding at the back of your neck. Popping open the glovebox, you grabbed a few napkins to wipe your face (these days, between the incessant crying and vomiting, you were fucking constantly thanking God for the years-accumulated collection).

And then the driver’s side door was opening once more, this time Josh’s khakis making the first appearance as he climbed back in. He had two cups, one balanced between his bicep, clad in a white, long-sleeved tee and his chest and one in his hand. He quickly placed both in the center cup holders and popped a straw in each. 

Your brows lifted, wondering. “What did you–?” 

“Sprite,” he pointed to the one at the front. “And water,” the one in the second holder. 

“How did you–?”

“There’s a part of my brain permanently cemented with what it was like to watch my mom be pregnant with Sammy,” he explained, eyes soft with a smile gracing his handsome features. “I was too young to remember watching her pregnancy with Ron, but Sammy. . . he’s always been tough–even in the fuckin’ womb.”

You gave a small giggle, stomach spinning when your hand went to grab the Sprite. The carbonation sounded perfect, and Sprite had been a go-to in a few cases of your recent nausea. 

The cool drink had been just what you’d needed, sighing as soon as you brought the straw away from your lips with the first sip. You kept it clutched in your hands as a lifeline when you looked at Josh next, eyes wet. “Thank you, Joshy,” you croaked, tone exuding gratefulness. 

“Yeah, always,” he affirmed, his eyebrows dipped in. The next few minutes were spent in silence, your thoughts finally quieted a little with the initial confession to him. You took a few quiet sips of your drink, the sound of you swallowing the loudest sound in the small car.

Knowing he most likely wasn’t wanting to pressure you to talk, you took the initiative. “I–I’m sorry for not– I’m–,” you choked, shaking your head. The tears were beginning to gather once fucking more. Yet, even with eyes wet and throat tight, you persevered. You had to get the rest of it said before you continued to the appointment–you were going to be late if you didn’t get going soon. And you weren’t about to tell him the rest afterwards. “I have to tell you the rest.”

His jaw clenched in preparation for it as he nodded, his body turning to better face you for what was left. “Lay it on me.”

You gulped, mimicking his movement so you could see him better. Your throat was so tight it nearly suffocated you with nerves. “The–the father,” you started, looking into the eyes that looked so eerily similar to his brother’s. Very much like the ones you hoped your baby would wind up having–yet, not entirely the same. “Do you want to know?”

Of course you’ll want to, you thought at your ridiculous question. And I’m going to tell you anyway, but I’m stalling like a pussy.

His lips quirked, but only the slightest, tiniest bit. “Only if you want to tell me.”

I have to.

“I–I do,” you said, your eyes darting down to your hands which wrung at your waist, itching to touch your tummy. So, you did, settling them on the small bump. And instantly, you felt better. You were beginning to find it slightly crazy what one simple touch could do. 

Choosing to watch your hands lace at your tummy instead of him, you took the last jump with two words. “It’s Jake.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: i promise you won't be waiting a month for Josh's reaction ;) see you very, very soon <3

ty for being the best readers in the world and pleaseee never hesitate to send in your wonderful thoughts!

Fill this form out if you'd like to join my taglist! <3 (i am slowly but surely adding these users to the taglist! :) life is busy as hell and i haven't been updating my doc w the tags like i should :/)

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#jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka smut #jake kiszka fanfic #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet fanfic #jake fic #jake kiszka #covet #my fics

[willalove75]

New Girl on the Pitch Pt. 4

Pairing: Rebecca Welton x f!reader

Summary: Your friend Keeley brings you in as the team's social media manager, Rebecca is impressed, in more ways than one.

Words:

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI

Tags: flirty, fluff, slow burn, smut

Notes: This one is a long one but the end is smutty as fuckkkk you're welcome 😂😂

After the gala your nerves built up every time you saw Rebecca, neither of you spoke, you barely acknowledged each others existence really. You weren't sure if it was because you over stepped, although when you think back to the moment of the kiss, she did pull you back into her, so you didn't think that was it. Maybe she regretted it, maybe it was just a sad night for the both of you and you both had too much champagne and one thing led to another and it didn't mean anything, but you thought about that moment every day for weeks. It meant a lot to you and you really hoped it meant something to her too.

You met Ted's wife Michelle and their son, Henry. Michelle was sweet, but you could tell things were rocky between the two of them so you did your best to keep your distance and get your work done. Ted benched Jamie, which was a shock to everyone, and not long after that he brought in Danni Rojas. You had a feeling Ted was trying to get under Jamie's skin by bringing on Danni, and it did just that. You weren't sure why that seemed to be Ted's goal, but whatever his plan was, it seemed to be working. You promoted the new player on the teams socials and not long after the comments on the posts were flooded with "Football is life."

You were sure at least half of the were mocking Danni, but it was better than the flat-out hate comments that had filled the comment section of every post. Plus, Danni loved every single comment, he either didn't realize some of them were supposed to be insults, or if he didn't care, either way, he was a lovely ray of sunshine that brightened everyone's mood.

You heard that Danni was injured on the pitch and gossip of some curse spread like wildfire. The whole team was freaked out and was convinced Danni would never recover because he went into the treatment room. You, Ted and Beard were wildly confused, you didn't really seem to believe in the "curse" but the entire team was losing their minds. You and Keeley were talking about the curse as she was scrolling on her phone.

"Oh shit." She says.

"What? What's wrong?"

She shows your her phone and you see the cover story for The Sun, a picture of Rupert, Bex, the beautiful girl Rupert left the gala with, and a picture of Rebecca, donning Rebecca "Old Rebecca."

"Oh no. That can't be good."

"Come on, let's go see if she's okay." Keeley says pulling at her arm.

You pull back from her.

"No, you go, I shouldn't-"

"Yes you have to come! She's gonna need all of the support possible right now. What's with you two anyway? You guys have been weird lately."

Feeling guilty, you give in.

"Okay, fine. And nothing, you think we've been weird?" You say, trying to play it off like nothing's wrong.

"Yes, very fucking weird. Lets go!" She says, pulling you towards Rebecca's office.

Higgins is in Rebecca's office when you two walk in, she smiles and greets Keeley when she sees her, Rebecca's smile drops when she sees you, surprised to see you in her office, but says hi to you with a small smile, trying to keep up appearances.

Higgins leaves and Keeley asked Rebecca if she was okay and Rebecca had no idea what she was talking about. Keeley sits down in one of the chairs in front of her desk and you stay standing next to her. Keeley motions for you to sit, you look over at Rebecca, who looks over at you and back to Keeley. You can't read her face, you're not sure if she's happy you're here, indifferent towards it, or wishes you would leave, but you sit anyway.

"Have you not heard?" Keeley asks.

"Heard what?" Rebecca asks.

"Well, that girl that Rupert left the gala with, her name is Bex, short for Rebecca."

Rebecca nods her head, she has an idea of where this is going.

"And the press, well they're calling her-"

"New Rebecca." Rebecca says, sighing. "Shit."

"Well, not exactly, they're calling her Rebecca, and you, um," she lowers her voice. "Old Rebecca."

"What?"

"Old Rebecca."

Rebecca's face drops, you can almost see her heart breaking when the news sinks in. You hate seeing her hurt, even though it's been a few weeks since you've spoken, you still care for her. Rebecca smiles as she tries to mask her emotions and Keeley looks over at you, Rebecca looks over at you and sees your face, concerned for her and looks away.

"Don't worry about this, you got this." Keeley says, comforting her. "And if you have a moment where you don't got this, just call me, or y/n, we're here for you." She says with a smile.

Rebecca looks over at you and you give her a small comforting smile and she looks back at Keeley.

"I will be fine, thank you for telling me though." Rebecca says, putting up her usual front. "I have a call in a few minutes." She says as she opens her laptop and turns her attention to it.

"Okay, if you need anything we're here for you." Keeley says as she gets up.

Rebecca doesn't look up from her screen and you both walk out.

"Poor Rebecca, I feel so terrible." Keeley says.

"I know, I have no idea how she handles it all." You say, still hurting for the person you care so much about.

Later in the day Sam runs up to you and tells you about the plans to get rid of the curse, you tell him you're in and he asks you to invite Rebecca.

"Oh, Sam, I think you should do it, it would mean more coming from-"

"No, no, I can't, I have to gather a few things for tonight, plus you're friends with Rebecca, you should tell her." He says with his usual sweet smile.

"Okay Sam, I'll tell her."

You take a deep breath and head to her office again. You knock on the door and hear her on the other side.

"Come in."

You walk into her office and she looks up from her computer screen, surprised to see you.

"Oh, y/n." She says.

"Hi." You say quietly.

"What can I do for you?" She asks, straightening things on her desk, almost as if she's nervous.

"Um, well, I was just talking to Sam in the hall and he wanted me to invite you to this thing tonight to help get rid of some curse plaguing the training room."

"Oh," she says looking down, you think you sense disappointment in her voice.

"It would be a lot to the team if you came." You say.

"I don't know,"

"I was told to tell you, the whole team needs to be there, and you're the owner, it's your team, so it would mean a lot to everyone if you showed up."

She looks back up at you. "Will you be there?"

"According to Coach Lasso I'm a part of the team, so yes, I will be." You say with a smile. Rebecca looks away. "It would mean a lot to me too if you came."

Her eyes meet yours, you sit in silence for a moment as you look at each other, Rebecca finally looks away.

"I'll think about it."

"Thanks. It'll mean a lot to everyone to see you there." You say as you get up. "By the way," Rebecca looks back up at you. "I'm sorry about the paper, you don't deserve it, any of it." She smiles a little and you leave her office.

Later that night you meet the team at Mae's, Mae, Higgins and Ted talk about the curse and it's origins. Ted says that everyone was going to meet in the training room at midnight to get rid of the curse, and to bring something that meant a lot to you.

Midnight rolls around and you all gather in the training room around a garbage can. Ted explains that we are all going sacrifice something important to us, to honor those that sacrificed their lives. A few minutes later you see the door to the training room open and you see Rebecca walk in, you can't help but smile when you see her, you're happy that she decided to show up. Everyone goes around the room and throws in things that meant a lot to them, you catch Rebecca and yourself rolling your eyes at some of the things that people throw into the trashcan, although some things that players throw into the trashcan are genuinely sincere.

You turn comes and you hold up a jewelry box with a diamond necklace in it, many of the team members give you looks of confusion.

"My ex gave this to me, he said he didn't believe in marriage, but that this was a token of his love, and that it was more practical than a ring. He said it meant that we would be together forever. That was when we first moved to the UK, three months later I found out he was cheating on me, with his now fiancée." you hear the people in the room exhale, a few "shits" and "fucks" whispered. "I wore this every single day, from the day he gave it to me, until we broke up." You look around the room and you catch Rebecca's gaze, she looks sad for you, you gently smile at each other. "To leaving the past in the past, and to new, better futures." You drop the box into the trashcan and a few of the team members hug you.

Rebecca's turn comes up and tosses in a newspaper, Ted asks if it was today's paper and she said that there was something in there about her and that she's trying not to care about it. She looks up and your eyes meet, you can't help but smile and be proud of her. She gently smiles at you and looks away.

Right before the ceremony ends, Jamie walks in and throws in a pair of trainers and talks about his parents, it was sweet, and a little sad, and you think it was the first time you've ever seen him be sincere.

The trashcan is brought outside and Ted lights it on fire, he says we should ask the spirits if the curse has been lifted. He talks to the spirits and we hear cheering coming from behind him, Danni Rojas is running towards the team fully healed. You all cheer and crack open the bottle he brought after Jamie and Roy convince him not to throw it into the fire until it's drunk. You all take a sip and Ted and Higgins walk over, Ted takes a sip and you all cheer again, you look over to Rebecca and you see her strutting away, she tosses the jacket she had over her shoulders to the ground and walks into the building.

"Damn, she's so good looking." You think to yourself.

The following week you and Keeley walk into Rebecca's office, packed and ready to head to Liverpool. Keeley says something about having a wild threesome and Rebecca freezes in place, her eyes shift over to you, you can see the anxiety riding in her, you look over at Keeley confused and surprised because you never expected her to say something like that. Keeley tells Rebecca she's joking and Rebecca laughs in relief.

"Could you imagine?" Rebecca asks with a laugh.

"Oh I have." Keeley says, and she's not kidding.

Rebecca looks over at you and you feel your cheeks get red, you bite your lip and look away, holding back giggles. Busted. Her cheeks get flush and you're both relieved when Higgins walks into the room. Rebecca tells him that he's not going, and that he has to stay and work instead. You feel bad, you see the disappointment in his face, you have no idea why she has it out for him so badly. He leaves and the three of you head to the airport.

Your flight takes off, Rebecca seated between you and Keeley, you look out the window and your face lights up as you ascend into the sky. The plane hits some turbulence and Rebecca grabs your hand that's sitting on the arm rest. You look over at her and down at her hand on yours. She quickly removes it and looks away.

"Sorry." She mumbles.

"It's okay." You say with a smile, she looks at you and you see her relax a little and smile.

The flight isn't long, but you end up drifting off to sleep. You hear the pilot come over the intercom announcing that we are landing and you wake up, you realize that you fell asleep on Rebecca's shoulder. What you didn't expect was that she was asleep as well, her head resting on yours. You keep still to not wake her and close your eyes with a smile on your face. Rebecca wakes up when the plane lands and realizes she's resting on you, she quickly picks her head up and you lift your head and look at her.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep on you." You shyly say.

She looks down and back at you. "I didn't mean to fall asleep on you either." You both exchange bashful smiles and exit the plane.

You get to the hotel and the bellhop takes you to your room, Keeley makes a joke to him about us having a threesome in the shower and he quickly leaves. As Keeley is talking you see Rebecca's eyes darting around the room, you can tell something is on her mind. Keeley thinks she's making that face because of the joke she made and Rebecca tell her that's not it. It's her and Rupert's anniversary weekend and it's the first one she's spent by herself.

Keeley wraps her arms around Rebecca's neck and reaches over and grabs you and pulls you into the hug. You wrap your arms around Rebecca's waist and lean your head on her shoulder. You feel Rebecca's arm wrap around you, her hand resting on your waist. You hold her a little tighter and you feel her hand slide up, you feel her fingers in your hair as she holds the back of your head. Even though both you and Keeley are hugging her, you feel a small spark between you and Rebecca.

The three of you settle in your rooms and Rebecca makes dinner reservations, you and Keeley are sitting on the couch, silent, Rebecca walks in confused and asks Keeley a question, neither of you answer and Rebecca turns to see Keeley on the television spewing out facts about Liverpool. Rebecca turns the tv off and the three of you get ready for dinner. You hear a knock at the door and Rebecca opens it, you meet her childhood friend Sassy, the mother of her goddaughter Nora.

The four of you go out to dinner, Sassy tries to hook Rebecca up with the waiter and the three of you laugh. Rebecca looks embarrassed, she looks over at you and looks down and back over at Sassy, you swore you saw a little guilt in her eyes. Sassy goes to smoke and a minute later Rebecca gets up and goes to the bathroom. Sassy comes back and tells us where Rebecca's nickname "Stinky" comes from and that if we like Rebecca now, we'd love the real Rebecca. She describes what Rebecca is really like and you feel a warmth in your heart, Sassy describes the woman you kissed after the gala, that's Rebecca, the real Rebecca. Rebecca comes back and the waiter hands her the receipt, you, Sassy and Keeley pretend you were about to pay the bill and you all laugh and head back to the room for the night.

Back in the room the four of you drink champagne and laugh until the early hours of the morning, you don't think you've ever seen Rebecca this relaxed before, but you're enjoying the fact that she's enjoying herself. You tell a funny story and the three of them laugh, and Rebecca puts her hand on your leg. You look down at her hand and back up at her, her cheeks turn a little pink and she looks away, withdrawing her hand. Whatever tension or awkwardness you had between the two of you seems to have vanished and you're grateful for it. Keeley goes into her room in the suite at the end of the night and Sassy leaves and heads to hers down the hall. You and Rebecca, sitting next to each other on the couch, sit in silence for a moment.

"I'm glad you're having a good time." You say, looking up at her. "Sassy is a lot of fun."

Rebecca laughs. "Yeah, she's something alright, but thank you."

Rebecca inches her hand closer to yours as it sits next to you on the couch. You close the distance and your fingers interlock, both of you looking down at your hands. You look up at her and she looks up into your eyes.

"Rebecca, I," you begin to say, as you gently lean forward.

She nods her head, her eyes focused on your lips. Just as she begins to lean in Sassy swings the door open, the both of you jump and pull your hands apart.

"Christ Sassy." Rebecca says.

Sassy looks back and fourth at the two of you for a second and a smile crosses her face.

"Sorry, I didn't know I was interrupting."

"You weren't." Rebecca says, fixing the collar of her robe.

"I left my jacket here." She says as she walks over to her jacket sitting on the chair. "Goodnight." She sings and winks at Rebecca, who rolls her eyes in response as the door shuts.

Rebecca takes a breath and looks over at you, the moment has passed and you both seem a little disappointed.

"Goodnight." Rebecca says as she gets up and heads to her room.

"Goodnight Rebecca." You say.

The next day the four of you head to the game. It's been decades since Richmond won against this team so everyone is nervous. To everyone's surprise, Richmond won. You, Rebecca, Sassy and Keeley head into the locker room to join in on the celebration. Roy says that we are going out tonight and pulls Keeley up on the bench to recite her monologue from her Liverpool commercial.

You all go back to the hotel and get ready for a night out, you put on the dress you brought, fix your hair and makeup and wait on the couch for everyone else. Rebecca walks out of her room in a blazer and sequin-embellished tank top and a pair of dress pants that hug her curves perfectly. You can't help but stare at her, she looks beautiful.

"What? Does this not look good?" Her voice snaps you out of your trance, you look up and see worry on her face.

"Oh my god no, Rebecca, you look amazing." You say with a smile on your face. She smiles back at you and Keeley walks out.

"Rebecca you look hot!! Y/n, let me see what you're wearing!" Keeley says.

You stand up and do a little turn, you usually don't wear dresses like the one you're in, but you decided to take a chance. Plus, it shows off your shape to perfection. As you spin you see Rebecca's face, she's looking at you the same way you were just looking at her. The three of you meet up with Sassy in the lobby and head to the karaoke bar.

As soon as you enter the bar the drinks are flowing freely, you all do a few shots and grab drinks. The boys all sign up for karaoke, you throw your name in and you see Sassy walk up behind you and give you a "shush" gesture. You see her write down Rebecca's name and walk away like nothing happened.

You sit on the couch next to Rebecca, Sassy sitting on the other side of her. Keeley is next to Roy and you give her a look and she blushes and looks away. Sam gets up and sings Wonderwall, you take another shot with Rebecca, Sassy and a few of the boys. A few minutes later Rebecca and Sassy get up to smoke. Keeley looks around for them after they left and you motion to the door and she follows them out. Coach Beard is finishing singing Bad Romance as they walk back in, as they get back to the couch your name is called up. Rebecca looks at you, surprised and you smile and walk up to the mic.

The team hears the synthetic harpsicord the song begins with, they all go crazy as you say the first lines "May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Will the real slim shady please stand up? I repeat, will the real slim shady please stand up? We're gonna have a problem here."

The whole room goes nuts as you start to rap the first verse of The Real Slim Shady. You're not a great singer, so when you go out to karaoke you settle for fun rap songs that everyone knows. You're scanning the room as you rap and you see Rebecca, staring at you with a smile on her face, happily surprised. She's never seen this side of you before. As the chorus kicks in the whole room sings along, the team yelling and cheering as they sing along with you. The song ends and a few of the guys pick you up off of the stage and put you on their shoulders and parade you around.

Rebecca gets up on the stage and you reclaim your seat on the couch. You watch her as she sings Let it Go, completely in awe of her. You never would have guessed that she had such a beautiful voice, Sassy had said it over dinner the night before but you never imagined that she was this talented. You make eye contact with her as she sings and she smiles as she sees you watching her intently. As the song ends you see her eyes follow something across the room, you look over and see Ted leaving. She gets off of the stage, grabs her jacket and says she'll be right back, following after Ted.

A few minutes later she comes back in alone and sits back down next to you.

"Is everything okay?" You ask.

"Yeah, he'll be okay." She says. You see the worry in her eyes but you don't push it.

As the night ends everyone spills out of the karaoke bar. The boys decide they don't want the night to end and you and Rebecca both look at each other, relief washing over you both when you realize you're not the only ones who are ready to call it a night. Sassy walks off with the boys and Rebecca asks you and Keeley if you're ready to head back to the hotel. Keeley says she's going to walk and you both look over and see Roy standing against the wall of the club, waiting for her. You both give Keeley a look of approval and she heads off with Roy.

"Well, it looks like it's just you and I." Rebecca says with a smile.

"Looks like it." You smile back at her.

You both turn around and you stumble a little, Rebecca grabs you by the waist and stops you from falling.

"Woah, careful there." She says.

"Ah, sorry," you laugh, "fucking tequila."

The two of you laugh and she holds onto your arm as you walk back to the hotel. You head to the hotel bar and grab one more drink before it closes. You two sit next to each other and lean into one another.

"Sassy is wild!" You say.

"Oh yes she is." Rebecca laughs.

"I can't believe you never said anything about how beautiful your voice is!" Rebecca blushes and looks away. "Rebecca, you voice is beautiful. Where the hell did you learn to do that?!"

"I was in plays in high school, I don't know, it was just something I was always able to do." She smiles and her cheeks blush a little more. "But what about you? I never would have you expected to rap up there! What was that?!"

"I can't sing but I love karaoke, and I can rap half decently so that's what I do!" You say with a smile and take a sip of your drink.

"You have lipstick on you." Rebecca says as she swipes her thumb down the corner of your lip, removing the smudged lipstick from your face.

Her thumb lingers for a second on your bottom lip and you look into her eyes, her gaze shifting from your lips to your eyes. She gently holds your chin between her thumb and forefinger and pulls your lips to hers. You feel your heart flutter and you take a deep breath in as she kisses you. Your lips part and you look into her eyes, you want her so badly right now, you actually feel like you're going to die if you don't kiss her again.

"Should we go upstairs?" She whispers.

Your eyes widen, you can hardly believe she uttered those words. You stare at her blankly for a second before nodding your head. She grabs your hand and leads you into the elevator. The both of you stand there, your hand in hers, the tension building every second. Both of you know if you start now you won't be able to stop, so you both impatiently wait. You get to your floor and both of you practically run into the room and into Rebecca's room inside. You close her door and lock it, you turn around and she pushes you up against the door, slamming her lips into yours. You're taken by surprise in the best way as you grab onto her hair and kiss her back just as hard. She takes her jacket off as she kisses you and pulls yours off, her hands exploring your body. You both make your way to her bed, you unbutton her pants and she pulls your dress over your head as her pants fall to the floor.

"Oh my god." Rebecca whispers as she looks at your matching black lace bra and panties set, her eyes fixate on the little pink bow seated in the middle of your bra.

She guides you onto the bed and climbs on top of you, her tongue eagerly exploring your mouth, moans escaping from the both of you. You pull at her shirt and she sits up and pulls it over her head and tosses it aside. As she pulls it up you see her breasts fall out, your mouth waters as you move your hands up her waist and hold them in your hands. You sit up and take one of her nipples into your mouth, Rebecca lets out a moan and throws her head back. You roll the other one between your fingers as you lick and suck on her. You move over to the other one and do the same, her hands find the back of your head and grab hold of your hair, drawing out a moan from your lips.

You release her nipple and she pushes you back down and pushes her lips into yours, her hands grab at your breasts over your bra and you reach behind you and unclip it. Rebecca grabs the straps and pulls it off of you, throwing it across the room. She kisses down your jaw and bites and sucks on your neck. You hold onto the hair at the back of her head and moan, she adjusts above you, sliding her hips between your legs as she kisses and sucks down your neck. She grabs your breasts and kisses down your chest and between them. She takes one nipple into her mouth and flicks her tongue over it and sucks on it. Your hips lift and grind against hers and you feel her smirk as she does the same to the other one.

She kisses down your belly her hands holding your hips.

"I've been waiting so long for this." She mutters as she places kisses across your skin.

"You have?" You ask as you look down at her panting.

"Mhm." She says as she moves lower.

"Oh god I thought you hated me, I thought I fucked it up after the gala."

"No, not at all." She says as she looks you in the eye and runs her fingers up your soaked panties. You let out a moan, desperate for more of her touch. "I know I was shitty to you, but I was so unsure about being with one of my employees." She circles your clit over your underwear and your eyes roll back. "But fuck it, I don't care. I need to taste you." She rips your panties off of you and spreads your legs open further.

"Please." You beg.

You moan loud when you feel her drag her tongue up your folds, you grab the hair on her head and pull harder when she circles your clit.

"Fuck! Yes, just like that." You moan.

She sucks and flicks her tongue over your aching bud, the throbbing between your legs only gets worse. She licks and sucks on your dripping lips before making contact with your clit again, quickly flicking her tongue across it.

"Oh my god Rebecca you're gonna make me cum if you keep doing that." You pant.

She seems to take that as a challenge because she just sucks harder on it and flicks it faster than before. You begin to feel your orgasm building, you pull harder on her hair and she understands, she changes up her motions for a minute before latching back onto your clit. You cry out as you grind your hips into her face.

"Fuck, yes, just like that, Rebecca, fuck, you're gonna make me cum."

She doesn't let up as she drives you over the edge, mercilessly sucking on your clit. Your back arches and your eyes roll as the orgasm hits, you cry out and grind into her face harder as you ride it out. She only begins to release you as she feels your breath slow another moan escaping as she drags her tongue up your dripping cunt one more time, licking up all of your juices.

She crawls up to you and pulls your lips into her, you can taste yourself on her tongue, you moan into her mouth as her tongue explores you.

"How was that?" She asks with a smirk as she kisses your neck.

"Fucking incredible." You pant.

She reaches her hands between your legs and gently rubs circles across your aching clit. You let out another moan that she catches in her mouth as she kisses you.

"I don't think I'm done with you yet." She whispers into your ear. You feel more pulses surge into your core as you try and hold back a moan. You shake your head no, desperate for more of her touch. "Do you want me to stop?" She asks as her fingers tease your dripping entrance.

"No, please." You beg.

She turns your face towards her and kisses you as she slides two fingers into you, you moan into her mouth as she slides them out and back in deeper than the first time. She does this a few more times, pulling her fingers almost all the way out and then further in, until she's knuckle deep in you. She curls her fingers into that spot deep inside and your legs shake, her lips still planted firmly on yours, swallowing each of your moans and whines. She picks up the pace and you grab her hair harder, you would think it's painful at this point but the harder you grab, she harder she fucks you, and both of you love it.

Her lips leave yours as she adjust herself over you so she can thrust into you more. You bite down on your lip trying to keep the moans back as your legs begin to shake.

"Sing for me baby." She purrs into your ear.

On command your moans are released from your lips as she fucks you harder, bringing you closer and closer to your orgasm. Her thumb circles your clit and you cry out.

"I'm gonna cum, don't stop, don't fucking stop."

Rebecca thrusts faster and harder, your body shakes and you cry out as you cum onto her fingers, she keeps her pace and makes you ride it out as your back arches off of the bed. You body slowly stops shaking and Rebecca slows her pace, eventually pulling her fingers out of you.

You lay on the bed, your head spinning, trying to catch your breath. You swear to god you saw stars when you came. Rebecca licks her fingers clean and wraps her arms around you and kisses you, the taste of your juices still on her tongue. You're finally able to catch your breath and you kiss her back and roll on top of her.

"I don't think I've ever came that hard in my life." You say between kisses.

"You looked so good, I didn't want to stop." She replies.

She goes to say something else but her words are taken over by soft moans when you slide your hand between her legs and rub circles over her drenched panties. You pull them off of her and slide down between her legs, your eyes meet hers and you drag your tongue up her drenched cunt. She moans but is able to keep eye contact, until you wrap your lips around her clit and suck on it, that is. Her eyes roll back and she collapses back onto the bed.

You moan into her as you taste her, you feel her rock her hips against you, you know you're doing something right. You hold her hips steady and lick up and down her slit, giving her clit the proper attention each time you pass over it. You run your fingers along her dripping folds, coating your fingers in her juices. You latch onto her clit once more and slide two fingers deep inside of her, curling them as you push them in. Her back arches and releases more moans and cries.

You pick up the pace of your tongue across her clit as you thrust a little faster and deeper into her. Her hand finds the back of your head and she tightly grips onto your hair. You look up and admire her from this angle, her back arched, one hand on your head, her other hand pinching one of her nipples, her head thrown back, crying out praises and moans. You sit up a little and push her legs back so you can go deeper, her knees are practically resting next to her ears, you're impressed with her flexibility, but quickly dismiss the thought and pump your fingers into her harder and faster. She holds her legs back and you return to working her clit, you hear her cry out when you latch onto it again.

"Fuck, y/n, fuck it's so good."

"Yeah? You like the way I give it to you?" You say with a smirk.

"Yes, I fucking love it. You give it to me so good, you're gonna make me fucking cum!"

You can feel her start to clench down around your fingers, you flick your tongue over her clit fast and she clenches down harder around you.

"Fuck I'm gonna cum!" She practically screams and you fuck her faster and harder.

Her cries get louder and higher pitched as she climbs higher and higher, you push deep into her and curl your fingers into her spot and she screams as you feel her gush all over your fingers. You have her ride out her orgasm like she made you do just a few minutes before. Once her trembling legs are still you pull your fingers out of her and bring them to your lips. She watches you as you slide your fingers into your mouth and lick them clean.

She reaches up and pulls you back down on top of her, her lips immediately making contact with yours, her tongue pushing its way through your lips and into your mouth. You both lay there for what seems like hours, kissing, your tongues exploring the others mouth, small moans escape from your mouth into hers and she moans into yours.

The kiss slows and you lay there in each other arms, Rebecca begins to pull the duvet down and you both crawl under it. She looks into your eyes, studying you.

"What?" You quietly ask.

"Nothing, I was just thinking how we're going to keep us a secret from everyone."

"Us?" You ask, your eyes widen a little and your lips curl into a smile.

Rebecca kisses you and holds you close to her, you nuzzle into her neck and inhale the scent of her skin. Only small traces of her perfume are left, the scent of her skin brings you comfort as your eyelids begin to feel heavy. You feel her drifting off to sleep so you give into the temptation and close your eyes.

You wake up the next morning still cuddled in Rebecca's arms, you nuzzle into her again and you feel her hand stroke the back of your head. You move in closer and she wraps her arms around you a little tighter, you two lay there in silence for a minute, just enjoying the moment. She adjusts and you look up at her, her eyes meet yours and her lips curl into a smile. You smile back and you both lean in and share a kiss. Your lips part and she pulls you into her again, your head resting on her chest, your legs intertwined, your arms around her waist, hers around your neck.

"I could lay here forever." You say as you sigh into her.

"So could I." She says, kissing your head. She sits up a little and looks over at the clock. "We can squeeze in five more minutes." She says as she lays back down. You snuggle into her and you both lay there, savoring the few minutes of bliss you have left.

Once the five minutes are up and neither of you have the desire to get out of bed, but you have a flight to catch so you really don't have much of a choice. You get out of bed and look around the room to see your clothes, and hers, thrown across the room in every direction. You giggle at the sight and she looks over at you and laughs too. She gets up and walks into her bathroom, your mouth begins to water again as you watch her walk away from you, naked. You can't seem to keep your eyes off of her perfect hips and ass, she turns to look into the mirror in the bathroom and you get a full side profile of her body.

"Fuck me." You say as you try and commit every inch of her to your memory.

Rebecca looks over at you with a smile on her face.

"What?" She asks.

You get out of bed and walk up behind her in the bathroom, putting your hands on her hips.

"Nothing, you're just so fucking good looking." You place kisses on the back of her shoulders, coming up on your tip toes to kiss higher.

She turns in your arms to face you and holds you face in her hands. You're almost eye level with her tits and you're having a very hard time not staring at them, luckily she gives you a hand by picking your face up to look at her. She gazes into your eyes and you look back into hers. She gently leans down and kisses you, you kiss her back and your lips slowly part.

"We really have to get ready to go." She says with a disappointment in her voice.

"Okay." You say with the same amount of disappointment in your voice that she had in hers.

Rebecca gets dressed and you go into the bathroom, Rebecca goes out into the common room of the suite to grab your suitcase and bring it into her room for you.

"Oi, where's y/n?" Keeley asks, giving Rebecca a look.

"I let her use my bathroom to get ready."

"Where did she sleep last night?" Keeley asks with a raised eyebrow.

"On the couch, like she did the night before."

Keeley, not believing a word Rebecca is saying, gives her another look. "So what did you two do last night?"

"Nothing, we got in, chatted for a bit at the bar before it closed, came up here and went to bed."

"Mhm, so that's the story you're giving me?" Keeley asks.

"Yes, because that's what happened." Rebecca says defensively. She grabs your suitcase and brings it into her room and closes the door.

"I think Keeley knows what happened last night." Rebecca says.

"I think half of the hotel heard what happened last night, neither of us were particularly quiet." You say with a laugh.

Rebecca rolls her eyes at you. "I brought your suitcase in here so you can get ready." She says.

"Aw, thank you." You walk up to her and kiss her. "I can get used to this." You say with a smile.

"I think I can too."

You finish getting ready and you both meet Keeley in the common room. She gives the both of you a look and you both do your best to ignore her.

The three of you head out to the airport to catch your flight.

"Y/n, how did you get here?" Rebecca asks as you're walking out of the airport.

"I took an Uber." You say.

"Let me give you a ride home."

"Oh, sure, thank you!"

Keeley gives you both another look, you dismiss it and you both hug her goodbye. Rebecca's driver pulls up and you both get in. The drive to your flat is pretty quiet, both you and Rebecca scrolling on your phone with your fingers loosely interlocked. You pull up to your flat and you look at Rebecca.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow?" You ask.

"Yes." She says with a smile.

She pulls you in and kisses you and you feel your heart flutter. Your lips part, leaving a smile on both of your faces.

"Goodnight y/n." She says.

"Goodnight Rebecca."

You get into your flat and wave goodbye as the car drives away. You put your stuff down and collapse on your bed, you can't help but feel like a giddy schoolgirl. You would think that the past weekend was an amazing dream, but you know it's real. You have no idea how the two of you are going to navigate working together, especially if she wants to keep it a secret. Regardless, you really can't wait for work tomorrow.

#rebecca welton x reader #hannah waddingham #rebecca welton #rebecca welton fanfic #willalove75 #ted lasso #ted lasso fic #wlw fanfic

[iiamthehybrid]

I'll Remember It All (Modern!Aemond x Dead!Oc)

People say you fall in love, but fall is such a sad word when you think about it.

Falls are never good.

You fall on the ground.

You fall behind.

You fall to your death.

Whoever was the first person to say they fell in love must have already fallen out of it, otherwise they would have called it something much better.

Aemond read the passage for the 5th time.

It was his wife's favourite book.

"Reminders Of Him" by Colleen Hoover.

And that was exactly what was left.

Reminders of her.

A gentle soul who was capable of taming the dragon blood that ran hot inside Aemond's body. A gently soul who got taken away from him.

A soul full of compassion, empathy and love.

His beautiful wife Y/N.

Y/N was like the sun, she touched everything and everyone with her kindness and generosity. Her sunshine is what drew Aemond closer to her. She burned, in the sweetest way.

And whatever made Y/N burn, made Aemond burn.

The light to his darkness.

Aemond's tears fell down on the plush carpet as he looked up at the ginormous picture of his wife.

Y/N enjoyed making memories, and she achieved that by taking pictures of each and every moment. And this picture strung up in their bedroom was his favourite.

But still, He could not bear to look at it without crying. The pain of losing her was greater than anything he ever endured. Even the pain of his eye getting slashed out from his skull was nothing compared to losing the only woman he ever loved.

What hurt even worse, was looking back at the roundness in her stomach. Her swollen stomach where their little baby grew.

He could still hear her laugh if he closed his eye.

"Aemondd!!!!!"

"Baby come on, the lighting is perfectt", Y/N said with a smile on her face.

It was a smile Aemond could kill for. A smile he loved for.

"Hmmmm." Aemond hummed as he wrapped his callused hand round her belly that was swollen with their first child.

"You are energetic, Ñuha jorrāelagon!".

"Why is that ?"

"Is it my seed that is growing in your belly, or is it because I just fucked you missionary?" Aemond asked with a sly smirk on his face.

Y/N cheeks reddened as she looked up to him.

"Both".

Aemond smiled as he placed a kiss on Y/N's slender neck.

"Hmmmmm"

"I want more Ābrazȳrys, let's go back to bed."

Y/N looked at him as if he made a bookmark using the pages of her favourite book.

"No, I want you to take a picture of me."

"Here." Y/N said as she pointed at the closed curtain she had in front of the balcony door.

"We need more pictures, husband."

"Now?" Aemond asked as Y/N removed his arm from her belly as she toddled over to stand in front of the balcony door.

"Yes, now." Y/N said shyly.

"How do I look?" Y/N asked as she stood in front of the curtains. Her hand placed on the back of her belly, that was covered in see through lingerie.

Aemond smiled "Gevie hae se hūra se qēlossās".

Y/N smiled. "Ok, I'm ready."

Aemond's wished he could capture this moment forever. He wished they were frozen in time.

The light reflection made her look eternal. Like an angel that was send from heaven, just too sooth his soul.

"Done." Aemond handed the camera to his wife.

Y/N smile grew wide as soon as she saw the picture. "You husband, should definitely try photography."

"Mafia business does not hold a candle to this." Y/N said as she twiddled the camera in her hand.

Aemond chuckled as he lifted his wife up in his arms. "Ēdan iā gevie model".

Y/N smiled. "I am."

"Gaoman gūrogon iā reward syt ñuha qopsa mirre, dōna ābrazȳrys", Aemond said with a pout on his lips.

Y/N smirked as the placed a kiss on his sapphire eye " I might reward you...after fucking me missionary."

Aemond eyes darkened with lust,

"I'll remember your promise Ñuha jorrāelagon."

"I'll remember it all.."

Aemond opened his eye, as he came back into the present.

A world full of darkness, because you were taken from him.

You and your unborn baby.

He'll extract his revenge on the one that took you away from him. It was only a matter of time and careful planning.

And then he would join you, Because this isn't goodbye, this is simply see you later.

I hope you enjoy my first story.

It's not the best but practice makes perfect.

#aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond fluff #aemond targaryen x you #aemond one eye #aemond drabble #aemond the kinslayer #aemond x you #aemond smut

[rebelwrites]

Winner Takes It All || Fifteen Galas, Heart To Hearts And Volatile Situations

Charles Leclerc x Valentina Hendrix (OC)

Winner Takes It All Masterlist

Summary: In Valentina’s mind the galas were completely pointless, after turning up with Hudson the tension starts to rise

Warnings: a lot of tension in this part I’m sorry 🥺

As always reblogs and feedback is highly appreciated ❤️ if you want tagging in future parts let me know ❤️

Hudson’s POV

There was tension lingering in the air, mainly from Charles. I could see the pain in his eyes from the moment we arrived at the gala. Wrapping my arm around Valentina’s waist I pressed a kiss against her temple. Trying my best to ignore the tension in the air I zoned back into the conversation not knowing what they were talking about, I must have had a look of pure confusion on my face which caused Valentina to burst out laughing, patting her ring cladded hand against my chest.

“You seriously need to learn a bit of French, baby. Don’t worry I will teach you.” She giggled, pulling the straw to her mouth. “Basically, Pear was just asking an extremely personal question that he shouldn’t be asking.” She hummed glaring at her best friend. “Now I’m going to get another drink. Lord knows I need alcohol to get me through tonight.”

I couldn’t help but smirk as I watched her weave her way towards the bar, getting stopped every few seconds by somebody. She had only been in my life for the last month but everything felt right with her. From the first time we met at the meeting with Harley Davidson I knew there was something different about this girl and over the short time we had known each other we became a lot closer. The feeling of my shoulder getting heavy pulled me out of my thoughts, causing me to glance over my shoulder to be met with the stern face of Pierre.

“You better make sure you treat her right.” He said, not blinking once. “Because if you don’t then you will have me to answer to and trust me when it comes to my little nugget I won’t be afraid to hurt you.”

“I can assure you, I’m not planning on hurting her.” I smiled, I knew I needed to form a bond with Pierre with how close he and Valentina were. “That girl is a ray of fucking sunshine.”

“Good to hear,” Pierre nodded, moving his hand from my shoulder, lifting his beer up in the air. “Also don’t be doing all that lovey dovey crap in front of me.”

“You got it man.” I nodded, clinking my bear bottle against his.

I couldn’t help but feel the glare coming from Charles, he hadn’t said much since we arrived this evening and it was starting to grate on me. I could see the jealousy in his eyes, Valentina had told me about everything that had gone on between her and Charles including Becky. Which alone made my blood run cold the moment I heard that bitches name. I knew I should have told Valentina about my past but there was a part of me that didn’t want to open that can of worms again, not now, not ever.

But Charles had his moment and he had well and truly blew it with the beautiful girl that was taking the world by storm.

“You better treat her right.” Charles practically growled, not taking his eyes off Valentina. “And you better not be fucking playing with her or her feelings.”

“Excuse me?” I scoffed, turning to look at him with a puzzled look on my face. “You don’t even know me and you are talking to me like that. From where I am standing you better watch what you say just because you let the best thing to possibly ever happen to you slip through your fingers.”

I knew this wasn’t the best time or place to be having this conversation with the amount of eyes that would be on us but he started it, and I couldn’t help myself.

“How long have you even known Vali?”

“Long enough to know everything you did and how broken she was over it all.” I snapped, narrowing my eyes at him. “So I suggest you back off and let her move on with her life without being dragged down with a past relationship.”

If looks could kill I would probably have been buried six feet under right now.

“I don’t care how long you are in the picture but understand that I will do whatever it takes to make things right with Vali, she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Yes I know just how royally I fucked up I walked away from the only women I have ever loved, the women that still holds the key to my heart.” Charles said, lowering his tone. I could hear the pain dripping off his every word, but it wasn’t my fault that he walked away from the beauty that was Valentina Hendrix. “And I don’t care how long it takes but I plan on righting all of my mistakes and winning her heart back.”

Valentina’s POV

Finally I had made it to the bar after being stopped for what felt like a million times, everyone congratulating me on my most recent win. I did appreciate it but right now I needed more alcohol to get me through this gala. I was never one for events like this but as always I showed up with a smile on my face and propped the bar up for most of the evening.

“Surprised you aren’t with everyone else.” A voice appeared from my side.

Turning to look over my shoulder I saw Lewis sliding onto the empty bar stool next to me, causing me to let out a small sigh of relief knowing that someone from the FIA could have taken the seat, boring me to death in the process.

“My spot is right here, propping up the bar.” I smirked, lifting my whiskey glass up at him. “I’m not a big fan of these events. In fact I fucking hate them and would rather sit through the most gruling press conference than be here.”

“Me neither, Kiddo. But unfortunately we have to be here, all I can say is thank goodness for the free bar.” He chuckled, clinking his glass against mine. “So I’ve gotta ask, when did you and the model guy start dating?”

“Funny story,” I laughed, swirling the amber liquid in the glass. “It only became a thing today, I asked him to be my plus one tonight, you know so I don’t look like a loser turning up on my own. And his condition was that he takes me out on a date after so it just kinda happened from there.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear you say that.” he smirked, causing me to roll my eyes.

“Lew, you know what I mean, there is so many double fucking standards in this industry, its fine for guys to attend events by themselves but the moment a female tries it all hell erupts and after the first time I am sure as hell not gonna let it happen again.” I nodded, taking a sip of the whiskey. “But we have become pretty close over the shoots we have done together, there is a strong connection between us so we are just going to see what happens.”

“Just don’t let him distract you from racing,” he smiled softly, nudging my arm with his elbow. “I’ve been there and it’s not pretty, you gotta keep your head in the game.”

I couldn’t help but smile, over the course of the races, Lewis had basically become one of the mentors, alongside Pierre, which I was truly grateful for. It was true what they said, the world of F1 was completely different to the W-Series.

“Don’t worry about that,” I grinned, looking up at him once again. “No matter what, I'm taking that WDC this year. Even if I have to walk through the fiery pits of hell.”

“This is the only time you will ever hear me saying this, so listen carefully.” he smirked, “but I want you to take home that title, the sport needs more females and I honestly think that you bringing home the title will bring more females into the sport.” He beamed, clinking his glass against mine. He quickly glanced over my shoulder, narrowing his eyes before speaking again. “But right now I think you need to go save Hudson because by the looks of it Leclerc looks like he is gonna snap any minute.”

Letting out a heavy sigh, I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Just what I fucking need.”

For the last week Charles had been trying to get in contact with me but I kept ghosting him, he was my past and I needed to focus on my future. The only time I spoke to him was in press conferences, and on the track where there were always cameras trying to get the latest gossip from the track and I wasn’t going to give them the fuel to start a fire over me and Charles.

Downing the rest of my whiskey, I slammed the glass down against the solid wood bar. Taking a breath I made eye contact with the bartender, silently ordering two bottles of beers.

“He still loves you, you know.” Lewis hummed, resting his hand over mine.

“Well, he fucked everything up and I’ve moved on so he needs to back the fuck off.”

Pushing myself off the barstool I took a deep breath, counting to ten trying to calm myself down because the last thing I needed was kicking off in the middle of a fancy gala and landing all over the gossip blogs and new articles.

Before I could get close to Hudson, Pierre stood in front of me, placing his hands on my shoulders.

“Je suis inquiet pour toi Nugget. I'm worried about you Nugget.” he said with a concerned look on his face. “Tu refuses de sortir avec quelqu'un depuis quatre ans et tout d'un coup tu te pointes avec Hudson et je sais que tu ne le connais que depuis un mois. You refuse to date anyone for four years and all of a sudden you show up with Hudson and I know you've only known him for a month.”

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at Pierre, I knew he was looking out for me but I was a big girl and knew how to protect myself and my heart.

“Tu n'as pas besoin de t'inquiéter pour moi. Je te promets. You don't have to worry about me. I promise you.” I smiled softly back at him, “I know this seems all too soon but I am done throwing pity parties for myself. It’s time I moved on and I can’t have the weight of a relationship from four years ago weigh me down. Now I need to defuse this situation before this becomes the hot news tomorrow.”

Stepping past him, I caught eye contact with Hudson feeling a smirk tugging at my lips. As soon as I got within touching distance of him he pulled me into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. Passing him the beer I linked my fingers in between his, guiding him through the crowd and away from what looked like a volatile Charles who was potentially close to exploding.

Thankfully the rest of the night went without a hitch, Charles had kept his distance which I was grateful for and a lot of alcohol had been consumed meaning I was struggling to stand on my own two feet without nearly toppling over. If it wasn’t for Hudson having a solid grip around my hips then I would have surely planted the ground.

Now we had the task of getting back to the hotel room with me absolutely bladdered and a drunk Hudson guiding me back to the car that would be taking us to the hotel.

I had gotten to the point where I was giggling over nothing, I found everything funny.

“Babygirl, you gotta help me a little here.” Hudson slurred as he pulled us both to a stop.

“Hey handsome.” I giggled, placing my palms on his chest, letting my fingers fiddle with his gold chain. “Wanna come back to my hotel room, I know I can show you a good time.”

The throaty laugh that escaped Hudson’s lips sent shivers down my spine, his eyes sparkled under the bright lights of the venue.

“As much as that sounds like an amazing time, we both know that we, well especially you, are far too drunk to do anything tonight.” He hummed, brushing his nose against mine. “Just like we both know as soon as we get back to the hotel room you are going to pass out face first on the bed, but more importantly the moment we step outside of those doors right there the press are going to have a field day with one of the best drivers of the season leaving the gala so drunk to the point she cannot walk.”

“Oh merde. Oh shit.”

“Oh shit indeed, sweetheart.” he hummed, pressing a kiss to the tip of my nose. “Now, take a deep breath and think sober thoughts.”

“Sober thoughts, got it.” I giggled, following his instructions.

Taking a few deep breaths I linked my fingers with his giving him the nod signally I was ready to go face the world of the hungry lions that were the press looking for their next juicy but of gossip.

@chibsytelford @dragon-of-winterfell @ohthemisssery @a-distantdreamer @sgkophie @stillbreathin @angywritesstuff @miamedyu @enchantedbytomandhenry @scribbuluswrites @dangerouspursepeachbear @micks-afterglow @livo67 @buendiabebeta @pleasedontfollowinlost @ferrarifwendvale @hungryhungarian @theplobnrgone @charlesleclercje @sunf1owerrq @queenslife @panicforspec @inesramoss30 @justme2042 @liv67 @sessgjarg @derpinathebrave @idkiwantchocolatee @littleobsessionsandlifeslessons @alynoa @clcspeonies @pleasantducktimetravel @organasith @inchidentwithmax @raaaaabzzz @teamspideyman @marvelousmendess @mehrmonga

#Charles Leclerc #charles leclerc x oc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc imagine #f1 #f1 x oc #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 imagine #formula one x oc #formula one x reader #formula one imagine #formula one

[ramblingoak]

Copia is Terrible at Telling Scary Stories: Terzo Edition

Papa III tries to tell Copia’s ghouls a scary story

(gen, sfw, this is just silly)

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

“And to this day the beautiful sister can never look at her reflection.  Even if it’s in a window…even if it’s in a puddle of water.  If she ever sees her own eyes looking back at her the demon will take possession of her body.  She will be forced to spend eternity trapped inside her own mind, feeling nothing but fear and pain,” Copia watched as Terzo rested his hands behind his back and let his audience absorb the ending.  

The stupid smug bastard.

“Yes my little ghoul, do you have a question?” Copia whipped his head around and glared as Dewdrop lowered his hand.  The little gremlin had sat perfectly still the entire time, never interrupting Papa once.  The ghoul didn’t even touch any of the s’mores that were being made while Papa spoke.  Terzo had brought two sisters out with him and they had quietly made them while he told his tale, passing them out to Copia’s ghouls with little smug smiles on their faces.

“Can she look at pictures of herself?”  Copia scoffed and rolled his eyes.  Of course she could look at pictures of herself!  A picture was not the same as a reflection.  He crossed his arms over his chest and began to shake his head but he stopped and turned when he heard a growling sound.  Aether’s head was turned his way and Copia could see the glow of his purple irises through the lenses.  Alright, fine.

“Thank you Dewdrop that’s actually an excellent question,” Even through his mask it was easy to see that Dew was preening under the praise.  Sunshine leaned over and knocked her shoulder against him.  A quick grin full of fangs flashing in the opening of her mask.  What in the fuck was happening?  Did Terzo drug his ghouls?

“You see, the poor sister can technically look at pictures of herself.  She can even have her picture taken!  But everytime she looks at them she only sees the demon staring back at her.  It only appears to her, but it’s there no matter how old it is.  It could be a picture of her as a baby or one someone just took of her today.”  Copia heard Swiss mutter about how horrible that was and honestly what the fuck?  He was about to grab one of the sticks the sisters used to roast marshmallows with and stab himself in the face.

“Alright, well I hope everyone had fun!  Tummies full of chocolate and marshmallows yeah?” Terzo stood up and gently cupped Cumulus’s chin.  When he let go she leaned into Cirrus and they giggled together.  Maybe Copia should just summon a whole batch of new ghouls.  Really mean ones. Terzo motioned to the sisters he brought with him and they started to gather up their supplies.

“Wait, don’t worry Papa, we’ll clean up!” Rain chirped from his place between Aether and Mountain.  Lucifer even Rain had been enthralled.  Like Papa was some sort of warlock.  Honestly that made sense.  What else would’ve made his ghouls sit there and listen to that story without interrupting?  No one even stole food or bit each other!  

“Thank you, sweet Rain.  You are always so helpful, actually all of you are.  I’m sure our Cardinal knows how lucky he is, eh?” Copia gritted his teeth at the sight of Mountain shaking his head ‘no’. All. New. Ghouls.  “Alright ladies, let’s go back to my room and uh, clean up a bit yeah?”  The sisters giggled as they each held onto an arm and made their way from the fire and back towards the abbey.  Dewdrop even waved at them as they passed.  

Copia watched as his soon to be unemployed ghouls began to pick up after Papa.  They were talking with each other excitedly.  Probably fawning over Papa and how good his story was.  How delicious the s’mores were.  His stupid handsome face.

He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard a throat clear.  Terzo and his companions had stopped right next to Copia and were whispering to each other.  The sisters smiled and let go of Terzo to keep walking towards the abbey.  Papa lightly slapped their asses as they left his side and their giggles echoed around the campfire.

Copia remained perfectly still as Terzo’s attention switched to him.  Copia looked at him warily, unsure of what was going through the man’s head.  Papa stepped up close to Copia and then leaned in next to his ear, “Well that wasn’t so hard now, was it?”  Papa stepped back and gave Copia a wink and then went to jog after the sisters.

Smug fucking asshole.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

my masterlist

my ao3

#my writing #my fics #cardinal copia fanfiction #copia fanfiction #papa emeritus iii fanfiction #terzo fanfiction #the band ghost fanfiction #nameless ghoul fanfiction #cardinal copia #copia #papa emeritus iii #terzo #the band ghost #ghost #dewdrop ghoul #nameless ghouls

[slytherin-girly]

Perfect/ A Draco Malfoy x reader one-shot

House: dont matter

Year: 4 yule ball *laughs mischievously* too much? Yeah

Ed Sheeran's song 'Perfect'

I love doing this :)))

=============================

{Draco POV}

 I found a love, for me

Darling, just dive right in and follow my lead

Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet

Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me

Y/n, the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life, also my girlfriend, said that she had to do some dress shopping with Granger girl.

So I spent my time looking at the picture album she had made for us.

Y/n had always been kind at heart. She looked past the bad just to find the good. She's a very good person. I always find myself wondering how I found the most perfect girl in the world.

Cause we were just kids when we fell in love

Not knowing what it was

I will not give you up this time

But darling, just kiss me slow

Your heart is all I own

And in your eyes, you're holding mine

"Y/n, you almost ready?" I called out sitting on her bed waiting.

"Almost! One sec!" She said.

"You- look- wow- you- look beautiful Y/n. Stunning."

"Thank you Draco." She said, "Can you help me with this please? It's the necklace you gave me."

I smiled. It was the first necklace I'd ever bought for her when we started dating . It had my initial on it. D. (Like this👇)

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark

With you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass

Listening to our favourite song

When you said you looked a mess

I whispered underneath my breath

But you heard it

Darling, you look perfect tonight

We made our way to the ball, with Y/n holding on to my arm. It all felt just right.

"Is my hair messy?" She asked me.

"Darling, your hair is perfect. Just like you."

"Awww thanks Dray." She smiled up at me.

We walked into the ballroom. And coincidentally our song was playing.

"Oh Draco! This is our song!" She said excitedly pulling me our onto the dancefloor.

I smiled to myself.

Well, I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know

She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home

I found a lover, to carry more than just my secrets

To carry love, to carry children of our own

Our song was finally over and I had told Y/n i would go get us some punch.

"Oi Y/n" Pansy said walking up to Y/n.

"Whaddya want now you shithead." Y/n said plainly.

"How dare-!" She starts.

"I really don't care. Amusing if you think I do. Anyway get the fuck outta my face please." Y/n said and Pansy went back to her goons.

Y/n really knew how to stand up for herself. Strong woman there.

I went back with the punch and sat next to her.

"Y'know Y/n I'm really glad I found you. And I can't wait to marry you."

We are still kids, but we're so in love

Fighting against all odds

I know we'll be alright this time

Darling, just hold my hand

Be my girl, I'll be your man

I see my future in your eyes

"We're only kids Dray, what if-"

"Trust me. We maybe just kids but I'll love you the same no matter what age."

"You're the sweetest." She said smiling.

"C'mon I wanna dance with you." She said pulling me out on the dance floor yet again.

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark

With you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass

Listening to our favorite song

When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful

I don't deserve this

Darling, you look perfect tonight

We danced the night away with each other. Enjoying each other's company. She was absolutely stunning. A lot of the other guys were staring at her, until I gave them a death glare.

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark

With you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass

Listening to our favorite song

I have faith in what I see

Now I know I have met an angel in person

And she looks perfect

I finally found my little ray of sunshine in my life. I don't deserve it I know that.

We walked out of the ball together hand in hand.

"That was a lot of fun!" She said happily.

"It was."

We cuddled in my dorm room for a little while

"What did I do to deserve someone like you Y/n"

"I should be asking you that." She says with a giggle.

"My little angel."

I don't deserve this

You look perfect tonight

"I love you."

"I love you more angel."

============================

(Pics off of pinterest)

#draco #dracomalfoy #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy one shot #harry potter fanfiction #draco fluff #draco lucius malfoy #draco x reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader fluff #draco x you #draco x y/n #draco malfoy #draco oneshot #draco one shot #draco fanfiction #draco fic #draco imagine #fluff #Spotify

[andydrysdalerogers]

Following Team Orders ~ Las Vegas

Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Olivia Williams

Summary: Olivia Williams is Formula One royalty. Her father is a racing legend and all Liv wants is to be one of only six women in the world to have raced in the most elite racing division in the world. When she finally gets the chance, she has to not only take on a male dominated sport, but her past, her teammate and a life beyond the track that she was not ready for. She just has to follow team orders but what happens when one man challenges her on and off the racing line...

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: A-N-G-S-T!!! eventual smut, slow burn, enemies to lovers, love triangle (if you squint) misogamy, fluff, racing accidents, an asshole Steve Rogers (you'll see what i mean); parental death

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Series MasterList - Main Masterlist

Two weeks prior… Saturday 

There are two things Ransom hates: losing and Steve Rogers. The man had been a thorn in his side for the last couple of years, almost beating him for championships, almost having his girl. If he thought he could murder the bastard and get away with it, he would. He was even costing him sleep.  He had dreamt that he had Liv underneath him, moaning his name like she used to when Rogers interrupted them in her trailer.  As soon as he saw the fucker, he woke up, hard and pissed.  He decided to take a walk around the hotel.  As he went to check his phone, he heard a door open.  He moved behind a doorway and peak over.  

And fury consumed him. 

Rogers was coming out the door, hair disheveled, big smile on his face.  Small hands pull him back and turn him around. The couple kiss and Ransom sees it as an opportunity to fuck Rogers by showing it to Liv. Except when Rogers pulls away, it's Liv he sees in the room.  He took a series of photos and decided that this was the perfect opportunity.  

After Ransom gets his coffee, he sent a message to Lance, Lloyd and Suzanne. 

Have news. Meet in my room. 

As Ransom stood in the window, looking over the Mexico City skyline, he smiled to himself. A plan was forming, and he was confident it could work.  A knock brought him out of his thoughts, and he went to the door. He opened it and ushered everyone in. “What is going on Ranny?” Suzanne whined. 

“Shut the fuck up Suzy,” Ransom growled. “I have some important shit so can it.”  He picked up his phone and pulled up the photos.  “I found a way to fuck over Rogers and get rid of Olivia.”  He showed the group the pictures.  

“Holy fuck!” Lance looked up at Ransom. “Why are you smiling?” 

“Because if the FIA made Rogers sign the same contract as me, there is a non-fraternization clause. If that’s the case, then this,” picking up the phone, “is our way to getting rid of Rogers, Olivia, Barnes and the whole Red Bull team. We can pick up their sponsors, their money and really be the top team in F1. And if it doesn’t, well then it just fucks them over and I’m ok with that too.” Ransom bite into the Danish he had.  

Lloyd started to laugh. “Damm sunshine, you are going to make Mercedes unstoppable.” He looked at the photos.  “I have a contact at ESPN. Let’s do this. That little beauty insulted me, that prick almost has the championship.” Lloyd growled. “Time for this love story to end.”  

Las Vegas – Thursday before race 

Andy is sitting inside the main office for FIA at the Las Vegas track.  He was sitting, staring out to Las Vegas skyline, wondering what fresh hell he was being sent to.  The door opened but he didn’t turn. “Mr. Barber?” That’s when he turned.  

Jenny Williams stood in the doorway.  “Jenny?” 

“Hi Andy.” She looked tired but determined.  

He hugged the oldest Williams girl. “What are you doing here Jen?” 

“I’m representing Livie for the investigation.  You can only represent one of them, according to the guidelines, but we need to figure out if they violated their contracts with Red Bull or the FIA.”  

“Right.”  Andy looked down at the binders in front of him. “I’ve looked over Rogers’s contract. There is nothing in his contract that states he can’t have a consensual relationship with another driver. Steve’s reputation has been clean.”  

“Then why are the reports indicating he’s violating a morality clause?”  Jenny pulled a report from ESPN.  

“Contracts have a behavioral morality clause, like for drunken behavior, fighting, that sort of thing.” Andy stood up and started to pace. “The only one I’ve heard who had an amendment to theirs was Drysdale when Olivia joined the drivers’ league. Since they had history, the FIA added the clause, under Drysdale’s objections, of course.”  

Jenny wrote that down.  “Liv doesn’t have that clause, but this still won’t lose its teeth.  They are going to call for collusion.”  

“They are teammates.  Their main goal is to win, for the team to win.  It's bullshit Jenny.”  Andy was fuming.  

“And that’s the argument I will start with.” Jenny put her pen down. “But since they were hiding, it looks bad.” 

Andy put his hands on his hips and bowed his head.  “I know Steve.  I know how much he hated her before he gave into his feelings. And Liv, she just wouldn’t hook up with another driver. I don’t know how they can suddenly love each other.”  

Jenny could see how much Andy cared for his drivers but was blind. “You obviously didn’t see them at dad’s funeral.  Steve was her support when she couldn’t keep going. When she needed someone to take care of her when she felt all alone. I know he was there, at the hospital, after her accident.  When he came in to see her and said goodbye to her because he wanted her to succeed.” 

“He did?” 

“Of course, he did.  Andy, they have been going in circles because of misunderstandings and assumptions.  They fought their way to this point.” Jenny massaged her temples.  “Red Bull records all of the team's radio transmissions, right?” 

“Yes,” Andy said slowly.  

“Perfect.  And can Steve and Liv communicate to each other?” 

“No, they can only hear if we open a channel to them both, but that rarely happens.”  

“What about in Austin?” 

Andy riffled through some papers.  “Here, the transcript of the race.  Liv and Steve never talked.  The only time they were even close to each other in the race was when Liv passed him after he spun.  He asked if he could catch her.”  

“Then this is proof that they didn’t conspire.”  Jenny closed her notebook.  “Dad would have wanted them to win.  Not just the race or the championship.  But in love too.”  

As Jenny and Andy were meeting, Liv, Steve, Nat, Bucky, Sam, Frank and Tony were all in Liv’s suite, discussing the inquiry.  

“It’s not fair,” Liv said as she paced the length of the room.  Everyone else was sitting, watching her go back and forth.  “They are doing this because I’m a woman.”  

“Baby, if that were true, you could sue the pants off the organization,” Steve replied in an attempt to calm her.  

“Bug, come on, sit,” Frank said, patting the seat between himself and Steve.  

“I can’t.”  Olivia was pacing to keep other emotions from emerging. “What if they say my points are invalid.  What if they say Steve’s are?  That would mean he would lose the championship and then we would lose the team one.  I would be a pariah and I’ll never get to race again.” 

Nat sighed.  “Liv, none of that is going to happen. Jenny is here to help with that, and you know she’ll put that big lawyer brain into full gear.  Andy is going to make sure nothing happens.  You just have to stay calm.”  

“Maybe I should quit.” Olivia’s words stunned the room.  “Maybe if I wasn’t here anymore, they will stop the inquiry and let Steve keep his points and then…” she swallowed... “then he could finish the season and win.”  She finally stopped pacing when she reached the window and looked at the city below.  

“Could you guys give us the room, please?”  Steve’s voice was stern, and no one questioned the request.  Only Bucky stopped to squeeze Steve’s shoulder before leaving the room.  “Olivia, come sit with me.”  She refused to acknowledge him.  “Olivia, right now.”  She looked up and he could see for the first time that there were tears in her eyes.  “Oh baby,” his tone softens.  He could see how much this was tearing her up inside.  He went to her and wrapped his arms around her as she finally cried.  

“Stevie, I didn’t mean… this all my…” he cut her off.  

“Sweetheart, this is not your fault. We didn’t do anything wrong. The press is blowing this up because of who we are.” He kissed her forehead. “Baby, look at me.”  Her pink-ringed eyes looked up at him. “Our life, this relationship goes beyond the track.  I would do anything for you. I would walk away right now just to see you smile.  The championship doesn’t mean anything if you are not right there with me. I love you so much that it hurts to be away from you.  So don’t quit, don’t leave. I’ll follow you anywhere.”  

“Really?” 

“Livie, you are my endgame.”   

“I am?” Her voice cracked.  

“You are baby.  I knew that from our first kiss.” 

Liv smiled.  “I knew from that moment too.”  

Steve kissed her softly, making sure to be gentle, to let her feel all the love he had for her.  This girl who came in like a breath of fresh air.  He could lie all he wanted but their first kiss wasn’t when he fell in love with her.  It was the first day they really met.  Her eyes blazed at him, showing the spark of fierceness, the way she didn’t back down, because she knew her worth.  She put him under her spell right then.  No matter how much he fought it, he has been in love with Olivia Williams for far longer than anyone knew.  She was his home.  He would gladly give up racing to be with her and help her achieve every goal.   

They stayed in that night. They ordered room service and kept to themselves, needing those final moments of peace before the flurry of press and fans descended upon them.  

Steve took his time, taking her apart, piece by piece, as he made love to his girl. It was soft, it was sweet, it was everything they needed that night.  As she slept, a sheet covering her torso, Steve looked out to the Vegas night sky. The flashing lights of the strip combined with the muted sounds provided the perfect lullaby that lulled Liv to sleep but kept Steve awake.  He wanted nothing more than to wake up from this nightmare.  He wanted Liv and himself to just race like before and finish on top, just like he planned.  He had no idea what was instore for them on the track.  He just hoped that they still had each other at the end of it.  

Andy started Sunday with a team meeting.  “I know this weekend has been rough on everyone.” He saw the crestfallen face of Liv and Steve, who sat in the back, holding hands. “Especially our drivers.  I have spoken to the Bartons, and they are standing behind Steve and Olivia. Our contracts don’t specifically state that they couldn’t have a relationship and we are standing behind that.”  

He cleared his throat as some of the crew began to speak.  “Just a sec. With that said, this doesn’t mean the FIA won’t be investigating.  They have informed us that they will start after today’s race.  What they find and what punishments will be endured are unknown, but I know this, we will appeal against any negative decisions made towards the drivers and the team.  We are one family here and we will continue that way.  Drivers, let’s get you warmed up. Crew chiefs, a word.  Everyone else, please do your final checks before the race starts.”  

Liv heads back into her garage and climbs up to her secret loft area.  She pulls out her phone and scrolls through all of the headlines.  

F1 PRINCESS IN RELATIONSHIP WITH RED BULL STAR 

IS ROGERS USING WILLIAMS HEIRESS TO STAY ON TOP? 

OLIVIA WILLIAMS: IS SHE BOUNCING FROM DRIVER TO DRIVER? SOURCES SAY SHE IS USING ROGERS TO GET TO DRYSDALE 

ARE THE NEW EAR FEMAL DRIVERS DISTRACTING TO THE SPORT OF F1 

OLIVIA AND STEVE: RACING’S NEW ROYAL COUPLE UNDER INVESTIGATION 

WILL THEY LAST? LIV WILLIAMS AND STEVE ROGERS IN TROUBLE ALREADY, CLAIMS SOURCE 

Liv could feel the tears threatening to fall.  One article accused her of using her father’s name while another claimed that she was using Steve to take his spot.  Another said she was doing it to get back at Ransom and how heartbroken he is. Others say she was paying off officials for her win.  

“You know,” her head whipped around to see her favorite ocean blue eyes staring at her, “if you let them get into your head, you are just going to prove them right.”  Steve crawled as best he could to laid down beside her.  

“Steve, they are saying I didn’t win on my own.  That Andy paid people off so I could win.  How could they say that?  Why would they tell these lies?” 

“I don’t know, love.”  He tucked her hair behind her ear.  “But you have to ignore it. You need to put your game face on and show them how wrong they are.”  

“Promise me.  Promise me that you won’t leave me when they tear me down.”  

“Never.” He kissed her. “C’mon, let’s kick this field’s ass and show them we are an unstoppable force.”  

The race went well for Red Bull with Steve and Liv finishing one-three with Charles in the middle.  The win was somber, with Liv just going through the motions.  As the drivers sat down in the press room, the tension became palpable.  The standard F1 reporters asked the first questions, like how the race was, was the track good, stuff like that.  It wasn’t until the floor was opened to the other reporters that Steve figured out what was wrong.  

The first reporter stood, “Adam Schefter, ESPN.  Congratulations Steve on the win.”  

“Thanks.”  

“Was it team orders that kept you in the lead?” 

“No, no orders were given.” Steve clenched his jaw.  Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Liv visibly tense.  

“Williams had the chance to pass a couple of times.  Was she told to stand down?” 

Steve wasn’t sure what to say before Liv spoke up. “I wasn’t told to do anything.  Rogers is an excellent driver, and I couldn’t get around him.”  

The next reporter, Maria Smith from AP Sports moved on to Charles.  Liv zoned out of the question until she heard. “Is it true that you had a previous relationship with Miss Williams?” Her heart stopped.  

Charles took a sip of water to calm himself before answering.  “I don’t know what that question has to do with the race.”  He cocked an eyebrow at the woman, who blushed and sat.  

“I would like that answer,” a man from NBC Sports stood up. “Did you have a relationship with Miss Williams that could affect whether she allowed you to score more points?” 

Liv bit her lip to stop from screaming at the man and keep the tears at bay. Charles looked at Liv to see her broken expression and grew angry.  “Olivia and I are friends, just like most of the drivers here are. She wouldn't give us an edge if she can help it.  She is here to race and to win, that’s it.  This line of questions is inappropriate.”  

“So, you are saying that there is not a relationship between you and her, but you are ok that a relationship formed between her and Rogers?”  The reporter was egging them on, and Steve knew it.  

He stood up, palms down on the desk in front of him.  “Our relationship is none of your business.  Olivia and I...” he stopped to look at her and she watched him with heartbroken eyes. “Olivia and I are in a committed relationship.  I love this woman, and I will not sit here and allow you to try and take her apart. She is a fantastic racer, a history maker, a trailblazer.  She has done it all while men like you tried to keep her down.  Fuck, even I tried to keep her down, but she fought back for everything she has earned.  She is respected among her colleagues, and she has done her job. These interviews are over.”   

He stepped back, went to Olivia and took her hand and walked her out of the press room, while questions were flung at them.  Charles followed and Olivia buried her head in Steve’s chest.  “I am so sorry Livie,” Charles said.  

“Thank you for standing up for her,” Steve said, when he could feel the sobs coming from her.  

“We’ll all stand up for her, punk.”  Steve looked up to see Bucky with the other drivers.  They all patted Liv’s back as they marched into the press room.  Steve heard Bucky as he declared with the other drivers that they would no longer be interviewing them bar official statements for their treatment of Olivia. Conspicuously absent are the Mercedes drivers.  

As the group walked away, Andy and Jenny came up to the couple.  “Great race, guys but I have some news.” Andy swallowed.  “The FIA has decided to open an official investigation. They have a complaint and, well, with the pictures, they had no other choice. I’m sorry Liv but you are suspended pending the conclusion of the investigation.”  

“But there are only two races left,” Steve complained.  

“I understand but...” Liv silenced him with her hand.  

“It’s ok Andy.  Did we ask for expedition?” Jenny answered with a nod. “Well, then I will head home to California.  Doesn’t look like any reason to travel to Brazil at this point.”  Steve gripped her hand and walked with her.  

“I won’t leave your side Love Bug.”  

“But the championship...” 

“There is nothing bigger than us right now.”  

Taglist

@patzammit @jennmurawski13-writes @texmexdarling @slutforchrisjamalevans @firephotogrl74. @tinkerbelle67

#andy's hea #andy's shenanigans #following team orders #steve rogers AU #steve rogers #steve rogers x ofc #multifandom rp #bucky barnes #ransom drysdale #andy barber #formula one #formula one au #red bull racing au #ofc Olivia Williams #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans #chris evans characters #chris evans character x ofc #chris evans character fanfiction

[faerii-shin]

A KamiJirou Fanfic

Chapter 5 out of 5 - “As Beautiful as a Sakura” Pt. 3, Finale

summary : Will she finally admit it? Or it will remain like that for a couple of years? Struggling for him really, to simply ask her out.

warnings : none

genre : fluff, soft, comfort?

a/n : Enjoy the fanfic luvs! I stan KamiJirou so much. I need it to happen.

One of them landed on Jirou’s hair, but she wasn’t paying attention. Kaminari noticed and he slowly moved the strand of hair out of her face and took the petal. Instead of actually taking it off, he placed it properly on her, snapping a picture — adding it to his album in his phone.

Jirou’s face flushed a light pink, as she finally saw what happened, however only when Kaminari took her picture. “Why did you take my picture!??” Jirou said, half like yelling, half like normal. *Laughs softly* Because I can, Kaminari replied back; still laughing a bit. Jirou slowly looked at the sky, then turned her back on him. “Hey! I am sorry, alright. You just looked, umm, really beautiful — that’s all.” He mentioned quickly. She froze for a second. Jirou’s POV: What word did he use? I think I’ve become deaf, seriously. Beautiful? Was it? (End of POV).

“Can you repeat what you just said?” She asked. “What I said?” He replied back. “I said you were beautiful, that’s it…?” She turned back to look at him. Kaminari, realizing what he just said, took his turn to blush. He decided it was time he’d give it to her. 

- back a few days, chapter 1 - 

(Before the “Nintendo Switch Scene”)

“Hey guys..!” Kaminari suddenly shouted. “Yes?” Both boys replied. “I want to get something for Jirou, but I don’t know what.” He questioned them. “Something she likes or may be interested in?” Kirishima recommended. “Like how the heck would I know, idiot, rely on Shitty Hair not me.” Bakugo yelled back, doing his usual act of anger. Temper was not present in him.

“Oh, alright! Thanks Kiri man!” Kaminari said, giving him a thumbs up. “And Bakubro, try to get the girls sometimes. You are like one of the top ranks in class, yet you suck at these kinds of things.” “I mean look at Todoroki.”  Kaminari told Bakugo. “Fuck you, don’t include IcyHot in this dumbass.” He exclaimed, snapping back at him. 

- back at present time - 

Kaminari reached for something and pulled it out of his pocket. It was a small box and inside (NOT A RING, lmao) was a beautiful necklace, with a small butterfly pendant hanging from it. *Places hand over mouth*

I, wow… Kaminari that looks so nice. Wait, that’s for me? She said, shocked. “Yes, yea. Who else would it be for?” He said, giving her a soft smile right after. “Would you like me to put it on you?” He asked. “Hmm, sure” Jirou replied. Placing it around her neck, he peeked at her. He could see her smiling as a bright pink blush spread across it. It was the most adorable thing he has ever seen.

“There!” He said. “Okay, I’ll ask permission now. Can I take a picture of you?” He asked her. “Hmph, fine. This once only.” “Thank you, by the way” She added. “Of course you’re welcome.” Kaminari replied happily. Finishing the

picture, the sky turned dark. A shade of indigo. Then bright colors shone in the sky; the fireworks have started. “It’s amazing!” Jirou said. “Not as amazing as you are.” He said. Complimenting her, while slightly being a perv. “Oh shut it, dummy.” She moved closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder. “This is new.” Kaminari stated. 

“Be nice, while I’m in the mood.” She raised her voice a bit. “Deal, chibi-chan~” (Chibi-chan, shortie <3)

He replied. 

In between the fireworks, he whispered “I like you, a lot.”  “I know.” She whispered back to him. “So I can call you buzzy beautiful sunshine nugget now?” He asked. “Maybe, maybe. We’ll see.” Jirou replied before turning quiet again. “Yay!!” He exclaimed, in a low voice. *Holds her hand* “Hmm?” Jirou said. “Not allowed to?” He added to her statement.” *Rolls her eyes at him*

They continued watching the fireworks, while enjoying each other's company. 

And they lived happily ever after, haha I’m kidding.

The End.

#kamijirou #fanfic #MHA #BNHA #denki kaminari #jirou kyouka #mha kaminari #mha jirou #kaminari x jirou

[yukidragon]

Sunshine in Another World - Stolen Moment

Sunshine in Another World, my collection of Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack short stories has been updated with Stolen Moment.

This is one story told from two perspectives by a first-person narrator with neutral descriptors. In Side A, the nameless MC is cheering up their lover, Joseph, who plays Sunny Day Jack. In Side B, the nameless MC is the star of the Sunny Time Crew Show who enjoys a little love from his sunshine, Mary. The reader may insert whoever they like into the role of the narrator for either side.

This is an explicit not safe for work story meant for Adults Only. No one under the age of 18 may engage with this story or fandom.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur 

...

Side A

...

“So how did the interview go?”

Joseph had been in the middle of brooding when I found him sitting on the greenroom’s beat up old sofa. Upon hearing my voice, his head snapped up and that beautiful smile that I knew and loved lit up his face as our eyes met. He had been so distracted by his thoughts that he didn’t notice me approaching him until I spoke up.

He probably also didn’t hear me lock the door behind me once I noticed that we were the only ones here.

My name barely left his lips before I leaned in to snatch a quick kiss from him. Joseph recovered from his surprise much faster this time, and before I knew it, he pulled me into his lap. He stifled my startled yelp with another kiss, this one much deeper and tasting of smoke and cinnamon as he filled my mouth with his tongue. He only relented and allowed the kiss to eventually end when we were both left breathless and panting.

Joseph didn’t let me up, giving me a wide smile as he cuddled me close. “It was fine and dandy lemon candy.”

...

Side B

...

Fuck reporters, and fuck Dan in particular.

Who the hell asks a clown starring in a kids TV show if they want to fuck around or if they posed naked for pictures? Kids would’ve been listening to that, you piece of shit!

I needed a smoke, but smoking while in costume was one of the big no-nos of the job. Once the makeup and wig went on, I was officially in character until they let me out of the clown costume. Unfortunately for me, that wasn’t happening anytime soon. They didn’t want to waste time redoing all that makeup before I had to go to the next PR circus performance they had lined up for me in an hour. If I got caught acting ‘out of character’ or made the clown suit smell like cigs, there’d be hell to pay.

“So how did the interview go?”

The storm in my head started to clear at the sound of that familiar sweet voice that never failed to chase the clouds away. I looked up to see my personal ray of sunshine smiling down at me, her gentle eyes a pair of clear blue skies filled with all the love in the world.

Who needed cigarettes when I had sunshine?

...

Please click the link to read the rest of each side of the story and let me know what you think. Your feedback really helps encourage me to continue writing. Thank you! ❤️💛💙  

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #My Writing

[kausstar]

YOUR SMILE

☆ joel miller x f! reader￨sfw content￨wc: 1.9k

when ellie met joel she understood he was just gonna be out for her neck, but she never expected him to be dating such a sunshine— or anyone for that matter.

ellie x reader (platonic). no description of reader but it kinda puts forth that your clumsy. grumpy x sunshine trope. kissing (you kissed his cheek). is base around episode one — gif credits: rightful owner (can’t find @, sorry) !

𝓴aus. another bae that i haven’t written about, but just to let y’all know he’s mine, i decided to.

ellie rather hated joel. she had no choice, he was so stuck up and an asshole that she just wanted to sock him in the face any minute. she thought about it even when they first met in the hall all the way until they reach his apartment. at his apartment, joel “politely” let ellie go in first and she quickly realizes it’s a trap when he doesn’t step in after her.

“stay put,” joel says before closing the door behind himself.

“what the fuck!?” she yells but the door was already shut. she had no room to protest anymore so she just spent her mean time looking around the front room.

she found some junk—well at least junk to her, a top 60s radio hits book and some photos of him and some woman. the photos laid in a stack but ellie interrupted their formation by flipping through them. some were photos of just the woman, smiling sweetly or they were of joel and her, her being the one taking the picture. they were cute but she couldn’t tell what they were to each other until one photo— the last one in the stack to be specific. 

it was one of him and the beautiful woman standing in front of a cabin. ellie could tell easily that there was nothing behind them but earth. she doubted they even had service. the two people stood close, front bodies touching. the woman’s arms were wrapped around joel’s neck to lean him down to her short, compared to him, height. they both looked lost in each other’s eyes, but mostly joel to ellie. the way his normal frowned face was soft, relaxed and smiling ellie could tell he was in bliss.

she wondered why he was so stuck up the ass now. “tess!” ellie hears joel call in the halls to his friend before he stumbles back into the apartment, face more frowned then before. “fuck,” he whispers, throwing his book bag on the couch. “so… who’s the woman?” she asks immediately after, not caring if she pissed him off more. he’s confused and she holds up the pictures up between her thumb and index finger with raised eyebrows.

“what, does it matter?” he mumbles before snatching the photos from her grasp. soon after, joel and ellie hears slight rustling on the other side of the wall where the bed sat. the rustle wasn’t the only thing that let the two know there was someone else present but the sound of footsteps did too.

“joel?” you call, walking into the front room where ellie tries to stop her jaw from dropping on the floor. ellie instantly knows you as the woman in the pictures. after wiping the sleep from your eyes, you spot ellie and you smile.

“joel, who’s this?” you asked, excited to see a new face.

“this is umm…” he silently debated on whether to tell you but knows you’ll figure it out eventually. “ellie.” your face seems to brighten more at her name. the way your smile is making ellie’s heart melt makes her think joel kidnapped you and force you to be his. no, not that the smile was forced but that it was sooo sweet, like candy.

“hi, ellie!” you chuckled, walking over to her, excitement in your steps. she could only look at you in confusion and a bit of admiration. ellie wondered how someone so sweet could be dating a grumpy old man like him.

“i’m y/n. make yourself at home. i’ll go get us some water, ya?” you smile before turning around to see if joel wanted anything but he doesn’t say anything so you go the walk past him towards the kitchen but he’s quick to stop you.

“there’s no need to do that, sweetheart,” he says, sweetly and ellie can’t believe it. at his voice, you stop quickly in front of him.

“why? she’s a guest,” you explain, and joel lightly sighs. he loved your sweet soul, it always seemed to brighten his day on his lowest, but sometimes he had to be the one to level you a bit. yes, you could take care of yourself but sometimes you were kind to the wrong people.

“i’d like some water, if that helps,” ellie shrugs, sitting down in the chair in the corner with a teasing grin to joel who only glares at her. ellie being the “wrong people” as he knew of, for now.

“see! i’ll be quick, promise,” you smile so big and pretty up at him. his eyes soften at the looks of you, and ellie catches it. there is no way, she thinks.

as quick as the debate started, it ended like it always did. he could never really stop you from being… well, you. “fine… just don’t hurt yourself getting the cups,” he sighs and you nod, kissing him on the cheek quickly before heading to the kitchen (which is like 5 steps away from where they are).

without much thought, ellie whispers something to herself. “there’s no way.” joel hears, as he walks over to the couch. “what?” he questions, and ellie could only stare at him in disbelief. “there’s no way she’s your wife. she’s too sweet,” she shakes her head, giving a quick glance to you, who was now humming something softly to yourself as you grabbed a cup from the shelve.

ellie hadn’t noticed joel had laid down and closed his eyes until he had mumbled out a “shut up” to her, forcing her to look his way. before she could whisper out something else, you turn around. two cups of water in hand, you walk over to her, looking at the cups the entire time to make sure it doesn’t spill.

once you make it to her, she takes it with a light smile. “thank you,” ellie says and you nod. you take a seat at the wooden table and sip on the glass of water you got for yourself.

“are you two… a thing?” ellie asks, slight disgust on her face as she looks between you and sleeping joel. you lightly laugh at her choice of words, and you nod. “yeah, we’re married,” you replied. as if someone is telling her something mind blowing, she sits up more in her chair. “how? he’s such an asshole,” she rolls her eyes at the man who’s mumbling lightly in his sleep, steps away from her.

“he’s a big teddy bear, i swear. he just acts grumpy some times is all,” you shrug, giving a glance to him. she sees the warmth in your eyes become warmer. “sometimes?” ellie mumbles under her breath before turning her attention to the window. “what was that?” you ask and she’s quick to snap her head back around. “nothing,” ellie smiles timidly.

 2023 kausstar.

#⋆ 𐙚 ₊ ˚ star #3K #joel miller #joel miller x reader #the last of us fanfic #the last of us x reader #the last of us #joel miller x female reader #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfic #joel miller the last of us #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fluff #x fem!reader #x female reader #sunshine x grumpy

[scarlet-star-witch]

Since I’ve been loving you

Fezco x Female Reader

Summary: The story of how Fez fell in love with his ray of sunshine

Word Count: 13.6K

Warnings: Drug use, mentions of sexual assault, anxiety and mental illness, mention of Nate Jacobs being an asshole and smut!

Part 2   Part 3   Part 4

~~

Fez was a picture of pure contentment as Rue practically skipped into the convenience store. The way the drug dealer stood, leaning against the wall with the beautiful woman draped over him, cemented him as one of the luckiest bastards in this small, cursed town. Anyone driving by could see it.

Rue smiled instinctively as she saw the couple, the blatant display of affection she still wasn’t quite used to seeing from good old, sweet and quiet Fezco, despite the fact that the couple had been together for years.

The two of them seemed meant to be, a concept she still had trouble wrapping her mind around.

Fezco and Stevie had a way about them, they always seemed to defy the odds. 

As soon as she saw the young girl walking towards the store, Stevie gasped, a bright smile growing on her face.

“Holy shit, Rue?” 

Rue waved weakly, but couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her as she was brought into a fiercely tight hug. Stevie was good that way. She had a way of making you feel like the most important person in the world. 

That was probably why Rue allowed her to hug her the way she did. Stevie was just about the only person who was allowed to treat Rue like the damaged person in serious need of love that she was.

Rue never felt threatened by her affection. She knew it was always genuine. 

“I’m so happy to see you.” Stevie gushed, still crushing her in tight grip. “How long have you been out?” 

“Like 5 days.” Rue shrugged.

Stevie finally let her out of her hug and planted a big kiss on her cheek. “You look amazing.” 

“Hey, there’s some new girl I think you’re gonna be friends with. She looked all sailor moon and shit, thought she looked like your kinda girl.” Fez drawled as he took a long drag of his cigarette.

“Yeah?”

“She seemed pretty cool.” Stevie told her, her bright smile, like the light of a thousand suns, never wavering. “So… how do you feel?” 

“Well, ever since I gave my life over to my lord and savior Jesus Christ, things have been like, really good.”

“Word? That’s what's up.” Fez responded, ever the supportive friend.

Stevie snickered, knowing exactly what Rue was pulling.

“I’m fucking with you, Fez.” Rue laughed, making the drug dealer scoff and shake his head in amusement.

“Well, I’m glad to see Rehab hasn’t stolen your Rue-ness.” Stevie nudged her playfully. 

“Speaking of, is Ashtray in the back?”

The question made the couple bristle and look at each other, sharing equal looks of uncertainty. That definitely hadn’t been the question they had been expecting from their newly rehabbed friend. 

“You serious?”

“What, you think ‘cause I went to rehab, I stayed clean?”

“Ain’t that the point?”

Rue looked at Fez like he was crazy and shook her head with a laugh. “Well, the world’s comin’ to an end and I haven’t even graduated highschool yet.” She commented as she stepped into the store to find Ashtray and the plethora of drugs he had to offer.

Stevie crossed her arms over her chest, her gaze following Rue, her expression falling into one of troubled worry. Turning to her boyfriend, she found the same concern written across his face.

“We should’ve stopped her, shouldn’t we?”

Fez sighed heavily, taking another drag of cigarette and shrugged. “Rue’s gonna do what she wants. We sure as hell ain’t gonna stop her.”

“We could.” 

“Stevie, c’mon, baby. There ain’t nothin’ you can do for someone who don’t want your help.” Fez told her and beckoned her closer. She stepped forward and perched herself in his lap, her eyes closing in contentment as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“Don’t stress ‘bout it.”

“I know.” She mumbled, forcing herself not to dwell on the horrible feeling churning in her stomach, the worry she had for Rue, and nestled in closer to Fez, allowing herself to feel comforted by his arms around her.

That was how Rue found them as she exited the hidden freezer. Her lips twitched, a strange feeling of longing growing in her as she saw the couple curled up in each other, the perfect picture of a healthy relationship, one not common in this area. 

The story of Fez and Stevie was an interesting one, one that was the talk of the town for a long time. But despite all the gossip, no one could deny how perfect they were for each other.

Stevie was a rarity, that was for sure. She was just about the most genuine, real person Rue had ever met. It was no wonder she had found her way to Fez. On the outside, Stevie seemed too good for him, too prim and proper for a man like Fez, a man who made his living by selling drugs. 

But they didn’t know the full story.

Stevie was born to drug addicts. It was a miracle she was born healthy and functioning. Her mother certainly hadn’t been careful about making sure her baby was safe. She had smoked and drank throughout her pregnancy, not giving a damn about how it might affect her daughter.

With all the drugs her mother had pumped into her system ever since she was a teenager, her heart was weak, barely functioning without a daily line of cocaine. She couldn’t take the delivery.

Her mother’s heart stopped the second she came into the world. 

Her father, just as oblivious to the world as her mother had been, didn’t shed a tear the day her mother died. She wasn’t the love of his life, she was just a woman he had gotten pregnant. 

Her father, high as a kite the day she was born, thought it would be hilarious to give her a ridiculous name. He could barely breathe, he was laughing so hard, as he signed the birth certificate of his new, beautiful baby daughter ‘Steve’. 

Her father thought it was the funniest prank he ever pulled, no matter if it was at the expense of the person he was supposed to love and cherish the most.

By the time she was old enough to talk, she penned herself Stevie, albeit, with all the bitterness she possessed in her young body. She wanted to be named something lovely, something delicate like most girls she knew were named.

She wanted to be named Daisy or Lily, after a beautiful flower. She didn’t want to be the butt of a joke and she resented her father since the day she understood what the emotion resentment was.

She wanted nothing more than to meet the nurse that let her junkie father’s stupid joke slide and slap her across the face for the years of torment that damn ‘prank’ earned her.

Each first day of school from kindergarten to her senior year was hell. The mumbled and bitter ‘it’s Stevie’ each time the teacher called her given name made the others in class snicker and look at her just like her father wanted, as the butt of the joke.

She was almost thankful she didn’t have to grow up with that jackass.

A motorcycle accident when she was four years old took him away from her forever. She didn’t cry the day he died. She had no reaction as the woman who lived next door who was babysitting her fell to the floor in sobs as the cops at the door told her the news.

She didn’t cry as she was taken into the policewoman’s arms and brought to the station. She didn’t cry as a woman she didn’t know who claimed to be from Children and Family Services told her she was going to live somewhere else.

Stevie always wondered if that made her a bad person. 

At the age of five, after spending only a year in foster care, her prayers were answered as The Warren’s, a picturesque family, rescued her from the hell that was a life in the system. They were a put together, well-mannered couple who, by some unfortunate miracle, couldn’t have kids of their own.

They were nice enough. They didn’t abuse her, they didn’t neglect her like she was used to with her biological father. 

They were the embodiment of what she saw on a sitcom from the 1950s. Her father went to work, came home, opened a beer and watched tv while dinner was made for him. He never had to lift a finger, he never even had to look at his family. 

Her mother, the sweet woman that she was, always had her hair styled to perfection and pearls around her neck, no matter the occasion. She didn’t seem to mind having to cook everyday. She didn’t seem to mind having to do the dishes after every meal. In fact, she seemed happy to do it.

It made Stevie’s skin crawl.

She loved her parents, but not in the conventional sense. She loved them because she was grateful for the care they gave her. She loved them because they kept a roof over her head and put food on the table every day and gave her an education.

But she didn’t like them.

She hated that they never talked about her culture, where she came from. They wanted her to fit in with their white, nuclear family ideal. They were so scared that if they talked about her life before she was adopted by them, she’d remember all the bad memories of her living with her absent and addict of a father.

They didn’t know that she already had memories of him, bad memories she thought of daily. She never told them that. She never told them that she was old enough to remember her biological father and they never knew how that neglect she faced at a young age affected her her entire life.

She thought they were too soft, too naive to know the truth.

Stevie was always a pacifist, looking out for others, not wanting to stir up trouble in fear of making someone else’s life difficult, even if it meant her suffering. And she suffered a lot.

As a child, she had trouble making friends. She watched her peers easily create lasting connections, but she was always too scared to try. When she was seven years old, her mother put her in ballet classes and the night before the first recital, she had her first panic attack. 

By the time she was ten, panic attacks were a regular, practically weekly occurrence. Her parents, who had no idea what to do, who had no idea that they stemmed from the trauma she experienced as a child, threw her in therapy. 

She was medicated by the time was eleven, dosed with a heavy prescription of anti-anxiety medication in the hopes that she would maybe someday be a functioning member of society. 

In the eighth grade, Stevie had her first boyfriend. Nate Jacobs was a picture of perfection. He was the perfect boyfriend - well, whatever a boyfriend could mean when you were that young. 

He would hold her hand as he walked her home from school, planting a sweet and innocent peck to her lips as they said goodbye, he would sit and eat lunch with her, he would cheer her on at her soccer games. It was all so sweetly innocent. Until it wasn’t.

She lost her virginity to Nate Jacobs and he lost his to her. 

It soon went downhill. After they had sex, Nate became possessive, he became jealous and at times, he became downright mean. It scared Stevie, to see this other side of him she had never seen before. 

She was strategic, scared of his reaction, so she broke up with him the day school ended, right before she left for a family vacation for the summer so she didn’t have to face him or the wrath she feared he’d have against her.

Even after all these years, she made sure to stay clear of Nate Jacobs. She saw a darkness within him that she wanted no part of. 

Stevie had meaningless encounters with men throughout her young life. 

None of it meant anything like she thought it would.

She was a quiet, anxious person who was desperate to fit in. She didn’t have sex because she wanted to, she had sex because she felt like she had to. She loathed to have any trait that separated her from her peers, any reason for her to be ridiculed.

She had enough of them, her name, her parentage, her history, she didn’t want anything else to separate her from the pack.

She hooked up with boys from her class at parties, seeking validation she felt she’d never received before. Every fumble with boys was a manifestation of her twisted daddy issues, something she was sure no one even knew she had. 

By the time high school came around, she had a good group of friends. She was known as the quiet, slightly awkward member of the group but she had a heart of gold no one could deny. 

She listened to Cassie talk about falling in love with a boy from their class. 

She listened to Kat fantasize about a man who didn’t exist but would treat her like a queen. 

She listened to Maddy have unrealistic standards of boys in their grade.

Rue and Lexi at least didn’t talk about boys. They didn’t seem to care, something she appreciated greatly.

Sevie thought she was the only one who was aware of what the reality was of what boys were like at their age. She expected average, she expected to be disappointed. It was the only thing she knew.

It wasn’t until she met Fez that her standards changed drastically.

She met him the first day of her sophomore year. She had thankfully skipped a grade, something her parents had boasted about at every family function for the next year. Stevie was just relieved because it got her further away from Nate Jacobs and the constant scowls he had on his face whenever he looked at her.

Stevie sat next to Fez in biology, the course he struggled with the most. As she took her seat next to him, she smiled, a quick and nervous smile, but it lingered with Fez to this day, even after all the time they had been together. 

He thought she was the sweetest person he’d ever met and he knew it since that first smile. He knew he was doomed since that first smile.

As the teacher went through attendance and called her name, picturing a well to do young man in her place, forcing her to correct the male name to the one she gave herself monotonously, Fez was the only one to not snicker at her expense. 

She always remembered that.

One day, just two weeks into class, as they worked on a pop quiz, Stevie finished quickly and moved to the front of the room to hand in her work. As she walked back to her seat, she noticed Fez scratching at the back of his head nervously, his tormented and stressed gaze locked onto the paper in front of him. 

Her eyes lingered on his quiz as she passed, noticing the question he was stuck on. She grabbed her backpack, throwing it over her shoulder and as she moved to the front of the class to exit, she turned on her heel, clearing her throat to subtly gain his attention.

His eyes lifted at the sound, meeting her playful gaze. 

“B.” She mouthed, giving him the answer to the question he was struggling with. 

Fez perked up in his seat, looking back at her with a bewildered expression. She just raised an eyebrow, a smirk growing on her lips. Fez eagerly looked back down at the quiz and circled in ‘B’. 

At lunch time, Fez elbowed his way through the crowds, desperate to find his savior. He found her sitting at a table by herself, her nose buried in a book, her headphones planted over her ears. 

He approached her nervously, his fingers anxiously playing with the strap of his backpack over his one shoulder. 

“Hey,” He called out softly. 

She looked up at him, her brows furrowing in confusion. “Hey.” She said, taking off her headphones.

“Thanks for helpin’ me out in class.”

“Oh… that was nothing.” She waved him off, downplaying her actions, something Fez hated in that moment. It was something he hated even years into dating. 

“Nah, wasn’t nothin’. You saved my ass back there. If I got another fail I’d be in some deep shit.” 

Stevie smiled shyly, not used to the praise she was getting. 

“I’ve never seen you ‘round before. You new in town?” 

“No, I uhh, I skipped a grade.” Stevie admitted shyly, slightly worried her explanation would come off as bragging. 

“Damn, really? So, You’re like, smart smart, huh?” 

“I just… I dunno, I guess so.” She shrugged, unsure of how to respond to his niceness. “I could… help you out, if you want.” She offered before she even knew what she was saying.

“Yeah?” Fez looked at her in surprise. He hadn’t expected such a request from her. He could tell she was shy, that she was the kind of person who liked to keep to herself. “You don’t gotta. Think I’m pretty much hopeless with that science shit.”

“No, you just have to have the right teacher.” 

Fez looked down at her, biting his lip to repress the smirk of amusement that threatened to grow. “You don’t mind?”

“Of course not.” She smiled widely, ignoring every anxious instinct that told her to keep to herself. 

“Cool.” Fez nodded, smiling lightly. “I’m Fez.”

“Stevie.” 

“Stevie.” He repeated slowly, a smile forming on his lips. “That’s a pretty dope name.” 

A wide smile grew, her heart racing in her chest at his words, a compliment she knew he didn’t realize how much meant to her. 

That was the beginning of their friendship. 

Fez would meet Stevie at the library, always showing up ten minutes early to their tutoring sessions. He didn’t understand why, but those sessions with her were the only time he showed an interest in school at all. She had a way of talking him through the things he didn’t understand without making him feel stupid, something his teachers throughout the years hadn’t managed. 

Fez thought about dropping out of school all the time. He later realized the only reason he lasted so long was so he could keep seeing Stevie everyday. 

They met up every Monday and Wednesday after school and it soon became something they both looked forward to. Their friendship developed quickly and easily. 

They found themselves in some sessions not even opening their books. They would spend hours talking and for someone like Fez, who spent his entire life only putting forth few words when needed, it was monumental. 

He found he liked the way she talked about life. 

Fez soon realized how easy she was to talk to and Stevie soon realized how unlike Fez was from the other boys at school. He listened to her when she spoke. His eyes wouldn’t wander down her shirt as she spoke, he wouldn’t make a pass at her, hoping to get into her pants. 

Fez loved that Stevie didn’t judge him when he talked about wanting to drop out. He appreciated that she didn’t look down on him like so many others did.

“I don’t blame you. I get it, I’m counting down the days until I can get out of this hell hole.”

“But you’re smart, you ain’t got nothin’ to worry about here.”

“Being smart doesn't mean I have it all figured out. I feel like I’m just going through the motions here, just waiting for it to be over.”

Fez looked at her intently, feeling his stomach doing a strange flipping feeling, one he had never felt before. 

He had never heard his own feelings put to words so perfectly. 

“Damn.” He mumbled, shaking his head in slight disbelief, a small smile growing across his lips. “You really a genius, huh?”

Stevie laughed and nudged him lightly, mumbling a quiet and bashful ‘shut up’. 

One day, they had lost track of time talking and, before they knew it, the library was closing. Looking at the time on her phone, she cursed under her breath, knowing her mom would have stern words for her when she got home hours later than she said she would be home.

“I gotta go.” She announced, closing the open book they had only read one page from and ignored for the rest of the time. 

Fez watched her pack up her things, disappointed but already looking forward to their next session.

“You need a ride?”

“No, I’m good, I got my bike.” She said with a bright smile as she slung her backpack over her shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Before Fez could even form his next sentence, she leaned down and kissed his cheek. He was left to sit there with his face blank, all words gone from his brain, his wide-eyed gaze locked on her until she was out of sight.

Fez knew she was an affectionate person, he had seen her kiss her friends on their cheeks many times and he knew that was her way of showing she cared for them. He felt honoured to be one of them.

He just wished it had been more than just platonic. 

They found themselves texting each other every day, their eyes glued to their phones all hours of the night as they talked about random things they thought of. None of it meant much, but it meant the world to them.

“Stevie.” 

“Huh?” She looked up from her phone to catch her mother’s disapproving glare. 

“Phone away at the table.” 

“Sorry.” She mumbled and placed her phone down, continuing to eat the dinner in front of her. When her phone buzzed, her eyes locked onto it, trying to read the text Fez had just sent her on her lock screen before it faded to black.

“Stevie, what is so important that you’re ignoring us?” Her mother called out impatiently. 

“Nothing.”

“Who’s Fez?” Her father asked, his head craned towards her, his narrowed gaze on her phone screen.

“Dad!” 

“You’re texting a boy?” Her mother asked, her annoyed expression now one of excitement.

“He’s in my class. I’m tutoring him.”

“Oh, so you’re texting about school, then?” 

Stevie’s eyes flickered between both her parents and their waiting gazes. “Yeah, we have a test coming up.” She answered swiftly, her heart pounding in her chest as she lied. 

Her parents shared a look, neither one of them believing her answer, the nervous tone of her voice gave it away instantly, but they didn’t say anything. They spent the rest of the dinner in silence and as soon as Stevie placed her plate in the dishwasher, she was racing up the stairs, ignoring her mother’s scolding for running in the house.

Closing her bedroom door, she flopped onto her bed and pulled her phone out from her pocket, a smile gracing her lips effortlessly as she finally read Fez’s latest text. 

Their friendship was progressing quickly and despite the fact that there were things in both their lives they kept private, not yet divulging to the other, they both felt as though they could tell the other.

They were at a point of no return, where it would be impossible for them to go back to the way things were before the beginning of the semester. They wouldn’t be leaving each other’s lives any time soon, not if they both could help it.

One Wednesday, Stevie was running late to their tutoring sessions and she was practically jogging through the halls, while still being mindful not to draw too much attention to herself. She was panting with exertion as she made her way inside the library and she began to make her way through the maze of stacks to get to their usual spot.

She stopped in her tracks, her eyes going wide as she saw Fez do a not-so-subtle handshake with a senior football player, the exchange clear to her. 

With the interaction finished, Fez pocketed the money and turned on his heel, finally meeting Stevie’s bewildered gaze. His heart dropped to his stomach as he knew he was caught red handed. 

He never wanted to divulge this part of his life with her. It was the part of him that always stopped his thoughts of her from wandering into that territory. It was the part of him that made him certain she was too good for him to even be thinking of her in any romantic capacity.

“Hey.” He called out, plastering on a fake smile, though it was weak, portraying just how scared he was of what would come next.

He expected the inevitable look of disgust, the toss of her hair over her shoulder as she turned her back on him and stormed off. 

But none of that came.

“You ready to study?”

Fez’s brows furrowed at her words and he looked at her incredulously, briefly wondering if he had imagined the look on her face when he had first turned around. He wondered, incredibly hopefully, that his cover wasn’t blown, that she hadn’t seen the true him.

But he could tell she had. She was withdrawn from him, her eyes barely able to meet his. He knew he fucked up. 

They walked to their usual table, Fez stealing looks at her every few seconds, his heart still racing, still reeling from getting caught. 

“You ain’t gonna ask ‘bout all that?” Fez asked quietly, wincing slightly as he prepared himself for the barrage of insults he worried would come his way. He’d heard all of them before, the petty names of ‘junkie’, ‘low-life’, ‘dumbass’. But he knew he couldn’t handle hearing it from her.

“Don’t think it’s any of my business.” 

The sentence, no matter how simple, practically knocked Fez off his feet. 

“But… I don’t-...” He stammered, unable to put words together to convey just what he was feeling in that moment. “You still wanna tutor me?” He asked, his voice laced with worry. He feared she would end this and he wouldn’t get this treasured time with her.

“Of course I do.”

“You… you ain’t… judgin’ me ‘cause’a that?” He asked, still in disbelief by her calmness.

To be honest, what she saw scared her. But Stevie wasn’t one to be hesitant around drugs, her upbringing made sure of that. If anything, the only thing that terrified her was Fez getting in trouble. If he got caught, he’d be far out of her life.

“Everyone has to make a living.” She stated simply with a shrug. 

Stevie kept her head down, her eyes focused on the textbooks she brought out of her backpack as she flipped through the pages to get to the chapter she and Fez were working on. As she moved, she felt his eyes on her. 

Turning her head slowly, her gaze met his and she smiled lightly, feeling her heart flip at the amazed look in his eyes as he stared at her. 

No one had ever looked at her like that.

Fez cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head nervously, unsure of what to think of the new feelings surging within him. He pulled his chair closer to her, his arm brushing against hers and they both ignored their racing hearts, both overwhelmed at how such a simple touch set them alight.

From there, it was getting harder and harder for Fez to ignore the thoughts of her that were constantly swirling around in his head

As he worked at the store, he looked at the selection of candy before him, wondering which one was her favourite. As he watched tv, he wondered if she ever saw the show he was watching, he wondered if it made her laugh like it did to him. As he drove and a song played on the radio, he wondered if she had ever heard it, if she liked it.

He wanted to know these things about her. He wanted to know everything about her.

On a friday night, Fez was working at the store, Ash at his side as the young kid sat on the counter, rolling joints like a pro. 

He could hear the girlish giggles from around the corner and he sighed heavily, preparing himself for the onslaught of annoyance that came with young high school girls who thought they were playing out a Tarantino fantasy as they asked for drugs. 

But he was pleasantly surprised as he noticed a familiar face in the group of girls. 

Stevie scanned the aisles, grabbing a bag of cheetos and a can of cherry cola, ignoring the droning of Maddy as she continued to talk about Nate Jacobs. 

Maddy didn’t know about her brief relationship with the man and while Stevie wanted to warn Maddy about Nate and his toxic traits, she was hesitant to tell Maddy that she had a history with the man she was crushing on hard. Her friend could be temperamental at times and that was putting it lightly. 

She looked up, her passive expression morphing into one of surprise as she saw Fez at the counter.

“Hey, I didn’t know you worked here.” She grinned as she stepped towards the counter, ignoring the confused looks her friends sent her. 

“It’s a family business.” 

“Is this your brother?”

“Yeah, this is Ashtray.” 

Stevie’s brows raised in surprise at the name, but she didn’t exactly feel like the person to judge anyone’s name. 

“Nice to meet you, Ashtray.” She said politely to the kid who looked over his shoulder at her and nodded in greeting.

“Sup.”

Stevie laughed slightly, the child the embodiment of a twenty-something drug dealer. She turned back to Fez, biting her lip nervously.

“So my parents are out of town this weekend and I’m having a party at my place tomorrow night. You should come.” 

“For real?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Dunno, you just… don���t seem like the type to disobey your parents.” 

Stevie’s expression fell, her chest aching with an uncomfortable feeling that was all too familiar for her. Noticing the change in her expression, Fez stood up straighter, worry coursing through him that he’d made a grave mistake.

“Sorry, didn’t mean shit by that. Just… you seem like one of the good ones.” 

“Well, I won’t be shooting up heroin in the bathroom, but I still know how to have fun. I’m not a total prude.” 

Fez chuckled, taken aback by her blunt words, but he found he liked it. She was slowly showing parts of her, the real her, that both surprised and delighted him.  

“Nah, didn’t think you were.” The way she reacted to his drug dealing certainly proved that. “But, umm, I'd love to go.” He said, hoping he didn’t sound as nervous to her as he did to his own ears. And he wasn’t about to tell her that he showed up to every party to deal. 

Stevie smiled and grabbed his hand, making his smile falter as he stared down at her in shock. It wasn’t until she grabbed the marker on the counter beside him that he understood and he watched, entranced, as she wrote her address on his palm. 

“Stevie, come on, let’s go.” Kat called out, the group of them ready to go. 

Slightly disappointed, Stevie stepped away from the counter, smiling at Fez. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Yeah, see you.” 

As Stevie left the store, fighting the urge to look back over her shoulder at him, she heard Ashtray’s mumbled voice.

“That’s Stevie?”

She bit her lip, her stomach flipping at the knowledge that Fez had talked about her. 

“What’s up with you?” 

Stevie was startled out of her daze and looked at Cassie who was eyeing her suspiciously, though the coy smile on her face was telling that she knew exactly what was going on.

“Nothing.”

“Since when are you friends with Fez?”

“We have bio together.” She shrugged innocently, not yet ready to divulge just what she felt for the quiet drug dealer. 

Cassie’s knowing smirk made Stevie blush and she quickened her steps to get to the car faster and end the conversation. 

By the next night, her house was crawling with teenagers, most she didn’t even know. She never understood how parties got this crazy. Looking around the crowds, she kept her head on a swivel, looking for the one person she was desperately wanting to see.

She felt nervous at the prospect of seeing Fez in such a casual way, one that had nothing to do with their tutoring arrangement. She downed the spiked fruity punch in her cup in one swallow and quickly made her way to the kitchen to get more to sate her nerves. 

When Fez arrived at the party, he was on the lookout, his eyes scanning every face that passed him in search of her. 

It took awhile to get through the crowds but he eventually found her. He smiled at the sight of her, a strange feeling settling within him as he watched her laugh, leaning heavily on Rue for stability as her laugh shook her entire body. Fez was enamored with the sight.

She was quiet around him but he got the feeling she was the type of person to give you her all once you had her trust. He longed for the day she could laugh like that with him. 

He stepped into the kitchen, sending a nod to Rue who greeted him happily, equating his presence to an incoming drug haul. 

“Hey, you came!” Stevie called out excitedly over the loud music. Without a thought, she stepped forward eagerly and practically jumped into his arms. 

Fez was stunned by the tight hug and his arms floundered for a second before he snapped out of his daze and hugged her back. 

Rue watched, her face creased in confusion as she saw the expression on Fez’s face change. His usual passive and uncaring demeanor was nowhere to be found. He looked downright gleeful in that hug. 

Rue placed her hand over her mouth to hide her laugh. 

As the two pulled away from the hug, their eyes met and they shared a small smile, the both of them nervous as any teen with their crush would be. 

“You, uhh, you look great.” Fez stuttered, cursing himself for the hitch in his voice but when he saw the blush bloom on her cheeks, his humiliation quickly turned into triumph.

“Thanks.” Stevie said as she curled a strand of hair behind her ear, a nervous tick she’d had since she was a kid. 

“You two know each other?” Rue asked, eyeing the drug dealer wearily. She knew her friend didn’t partake in hard drugs, nothing more than weed, and she found it hard to believe they would be close friends.

“She’s helpin’ me with school.” 

“Oh, cool.”

“Do you want a drink?” Stevie asked, quickly changing the conversation. She knew how uncomfortable Fez felt talking about school, something that was a big insecurity for him. He nodded and followed her to the table stacked full of alcohol.

“Hey, so I was wonderin’ if maybe, on Monday, if you wanna study at my place, ‘stead of the library.”

Stevie looked at him, her heart racing, her mind running wild as she thought of what he could possibly mean by his proposition. Surely, it had to mean more than just studying, right? She was sure Fez never did anything with a hidden meaning, he was the type to tell people what he meant, straightforwardly, but she couldn’t help but hope.

Suddenly realizing she hadn’t said a word and Fez was looking at her, nervously awaiting her answer, she shook herself out of her thoughts.

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” She replied, hoping she didn’t sound as eager as she worried she did. 

“Cool.” Fez nodded, his lips twitching upwards. 

Suddenly, the sound of a loud crash from the other room broke the moment. Stevie sighed heavily, rolling her eyes in frustration.

“Fuck, I gotta go deal with that.” Stevie said and began to make her way out of the room but turned on her heel to look back at him, only to find his eyes still on her. “I’ll be back.”

Fez nodded and continued to watch her leave. 

It wasn’t until Rue laughed that he was forced out of his trance-like state. 

“Damn, you got it bad, Fez.” 

“The hell you on about, Rue?” 

“You and Stevie. You in love with her or something?”

Fez shook his head, ignoring the way his heart jumped at her accusation. 

“You’re crazy, bro. You know that?” 

“Oh come on.” Rue admonished with a roll of her eyes. “Your eyes turn into cartoon hearts when you look at her. You’re whipped, dude.” 

Fez didn’t have a response. He had no rebuttal because it was true. He couldn’t deny how he looked at her, he couldn’t deny the strange feelings within him whenever he thought about her. He couldn’t deny what Rue was teasing him about.

“Holy shit, you’re really in it, aren’t you?” Rue asked in disbelief, noting that he had no teasing comeback. He was serious in what he felt, something she’d never seen from him before.

“Fuck,” Fez sighed, scratching the back of his head. “Don’t say shit ‘bout it, kay?” 

She could see how agitated he was getting at the prospect of her telling on him and her expression of shock never wavered, she had never seen Fez so worked up before. 

“Alright, I got you. But it’s gonna cost you.”

Fez sighed heavily, regretting not walking away from Rue when he had the chance. “Fuckin’ hell, Rue, you know I ain’t givin’ you shit for free.”

“Not free, just a discount.” Rue offered, giving him an innocent smile.

“Shit, you know you owe me like a hundred bucks already, right?” 

Rue opened her mouth to argue back, but it quickly shut when she realized Fez was right. He scoffed in amusement and clapped his hand on Rue’s shoulder as he passed her and began to make his way into the hoard of people in search of Stevie. 

Across the house, with her arms full of vases, Stevie pushed her way through the crowds to get to her room. She knew her mom would freak out if she came home to find her best crystal shattered. 

The music was muted upstairs, away from the chaos the main floor held. She pushed the valuables under her bed, making a note to remember to put them back tomorrow before her parents got home and realized what had happened in their absence. 

“Hey.”

Stevie jumped in fright and turned abruptly, placing a hand over her racing heart. A cute guy stood in her doorway, a charming smile plastered on his face.

“Shit, sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“That’s ok, I just wasn’t expecting you.” Stevie assured him, shifting on her feet, feeling slightly uncomfortable in his presence. “The bathroom’s down the hall.”

“I wasn’t looking for the bathroom. I was looking for you.”

Stevie’s hackles raised immediately and she crossed her arms over her chest protectively. “For me?”

“Yeah, I’ve seen you ‘round, thought I’d finally make my move.”

Stevie looked at him in confusion, her expression one of shock and hesitance, weary of what brought him up to her room. 

“I’m Jeff, we have english together.”

“Oh right, sorry. I think I’ve had too much to drink tonight.” 

“Nah, that’s ok.” He smiled and began to slowly make his way into her room, closing the door behind him.

Stevie’s shoulders tensed, her eyes zeroing in on the closed door. A sense of dread began to overtake her and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand at attention as every instinct told her to get out of the room as quickly as possible.

Downstairs, Fez was still on his quest to find her. He was stopped multiple times by other party goers looking to buy drugs off of him. He didn’t care that he was making money, he was only getting annoyed that they all kept slowing him down.

Fez began to make his way up the stairs, his eyes falling over every picture that lined the walls. He smiled to himself at the sight of her childhood self, noting that she looked nothing like her parents. 

He wondered why that was something she had never talked about before. 

As he got to the upper level, he flinched slightly at the sound of a slamming door. His brows furrowed, his expression morphing into one of concern as he saw Stevie storming down the narrow hallway, her face dark like a thundercloud, a look he had never seen on her face before, a look he could never even fathom on her face before.

“Hey, you alright?”

His words seemed to startle her and she looked up at him, her dark expression changing into one of fear and it made Fez’s stomach twist uncomfortably. He never wanted her to look at him like that.

He stepped closer to her, his senses now on high alert.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice low with worry. 

“Nothing, I’m fine.” 

He raised a questioning brow, knowing she was trying to blow off his question. “You sure you’re-”

“I’m gonna get another drink, you need one?”

Fez faltered for a moment, taken aback by her obvious brush off. “Nah, I’m good. You wanna talk-”

“I’ll meet up with you later.” She interrupted his questions of concern again, giving him a fake smile and breezed past him to make her way down the stairs. 

Fez watched her go, feeling as though his heart cracked more with each step she took away from him. He ran a hand over his face and sighed heavily, trying to wrack his brain for a reason, if there was something he’d said that ruined her night.

The sound of a door opening behind him broke him out of his thoughts and he looked over his shoulder, his entire body going rigid, his blood running cold as a preppy looking douchebag came out of the same room he’d seen Stevie exiting from.

The man gave Fez a jovial smirk as he fixed his jacket which was askew on his frame, evident that he’d thrown it on hurriedly. 

Fez felt his hands clench into fists as his mind raced with the thousands of possibilities of what that interaction meant. He didn’t know what happened in that room, but one thing was for sure, he hated the smug smile on that douchebag’s face.

Downstairs, Stevie found solace outside, her shaking hands trying and failing to light the joint at her lips.

“You need some help?” 

Stevie jumped and cursed under her breath. “The fuck, Rue? Where the hell did you come from?”

“I’ve been out here this whole time watching you struggle. You good?”

“I’m fine.”

“Where were you? I think Fez was looking for you.” Rue teased as she moved to sit next to her on the grass. 

“I saw him.” She answered monotonously. 

Rue eyed her friend curiously, noting the clipped tone of her voice, one so unlike the Stevie she knew. 

“Did something happen? Cause if Fez overstepped a boundary you know I have no trouble getting my hands dirty. I’d take him by the shoulders and just- pow!” Rue mimicked a groin-kicking motion, though it did nothing to make Stevie crack a smile.

“No, Fez is fine.” She said quietly. 

Rue’s face turned serious, all traces of joking, she even felt more sober at the very quickly unfolding reality that something was seriously wrong with her friend.

“Who did something?” She asked, having a pretty good, yet horrendous idea about what had her looking so haunted.

Stevie turned her head, looking at Rue head on for the first time in the interaction. She looked almost scared that Rue had correctly guessed just what had her shaken.

“Stevie?” 

The young woman sighed and leaned back in the grass, tossing her joint to the side, giving up on lighting the damn thing. Rue laid back with her, scooting in closer so her shoulder brushed against hers, awaiting her explanation with bated breath.

“Some guy from my english class.”

“Shit.” Rue whispered, placing a hand over her eyes as she winced. “We can go to the police and nail that asshole to-”

“He didn’t rape me.” Stevie interrupted, stopping the revenge train Rue was full steam ahead on. “He wanted to, I’m sure, but I… I shoved him off before he…”

Rue remained silent, taking in her words with a heavy feeling settling on her chest. She felt disgusted, she felt beyond angry and she felt sad that her friend, the sweetest fucking person she knew on this planet had to go through something so twisted. 

“I just don’t get it.” 

“Don’t get what?”

Stevie let out a ragged breath, her mind replaying the incident over and over again. “I said no so many times and it… meant nothing to him.” 

Rue squeezed her eyes shut, loathing to hear the details. 

“I know I’m overreacting, It could’ve been a lot worse. Girls have been through a lot worse and here I am freaking out over nothing.” 

“It’s not nothing.” Rue said fiercely. “That asshole violated you. It doesn't matter if it went all the way or not. It’s fucking wrong.” 

Stevie felt her eyes sting and she settled for just nodding in response, not trusting her voice not to break if she spoke. 

Reaching into her pocket, Rue pulled out one of the few remaining pills she had. She wordlessly handed one over to her friend. Stevie looked down at the small white, seemingly completely innocent pill she knew was anything but innocent.

“You wanna forget tonight ever happened, right?”

Stevie nodded and without any more explanation or thought about the matter or the possible consequences, she grabbed the pill and dry swallowed it like it was her only salvation. She let her eyes fall closed, preparing herself to forget about the disastrous night.

It didn’t take long for the drug to start affecting her.

The world turned on its side and she hummed softly as pure relaxation settled over her. Behind her closed eyes she pictured Fez and despite what had happened that night, she felt herself smile. 

~~

By Monday, as Stevie was walking into her last class of the day, english class, she felt a pit of dread as heavy as lead in her stomach at the thought of seeing the man who had pushed her too far. 

She kept her head down as she took her seat, but her brain, as if trying to torture her, couldn’t help but force her to look up each time someone entered the classroom. As Jeff finally made his way into the room, Stevie’s lips parted, her jaw falling slack with shock.

The teenager’s face was black and blue, his bottom lip swollen nearly tripled its normal size, his left eye almost completely swollen shut. 

Throughout the entire class, Stevie couldn’t keep her eyes off of the guy, drinking in every last inch of his bruised face with a delight that should’ve been off putting to her, but honestly, it was just downright satisfying to see him busted up.

As the final bell rang, she eagerly made her way out of class, a strange sense of happiness she didn’t have at the beginning of the day coursing through her. She saw Fez waiting by the front doors and she waved when his eyes found hers. 

She navigated her way through the throngs of people to get to Fez, not noticing how he watched her fondly. Her smile was dazzling as she made her way to him and Fez couldn’t help but find his own smile growing at the sight of her.

“Hey, how was your day?”

Stevie laughed slightly, still not quite used to his genuine nature. 

“As good as it can be here.” 

“Yeah, I feel you. You ready to go?” 

She nodded eagerly, her heart beginning to race within her chest at the prospect of going to his house. 

As she moved to follow Fez to his car, she noticed his shoulders tense. Turning her head, she saw Jeff passing by them. The injured man’s eyes widened when he saw Fez and they averted to the ground, not daring to look at her as he practically scurried past them. 

She watched the scared man leave, her eyes narrowing as the pieces began to fall into place. Her gaze moved to Fez and when he refused to meet her eyes, she knew she had her answer. 

Fez was the one who put those bruises on Jeff’s face.

They wordlessly got into his car, neither one of them commenting on the situation at hand as the car was started and they pulled out of the parking lot. 

Stevie was taken aback, wondering why the hell Fez had done what he did. She couldn’t help but feel her stomach twisting with excitement at the mere thought that he had done it for her. She didn’t think she’d be the type of girl to swoon over violence, but Fez was making her feel like she didn’t even know herself anymore, but in the best way possible.

“It was you, right?” She finally blurted out, desperate to break the tense silence that was driving her crazy. 

“What?” He asked as he shared a brief glance with her before quickly averting his eyes back to the road. He knew exactly what she was asking, but he was reluctant to speak on it, suddenly fearing that he’d overstepped, that he grossly misread the situation. 

“You beat the shit out of Jeff.” 

Fez just shrugged, trying to hide his nervousness. “Asshole had it comin’.”

“Why?”

Fez just shrugged again, not willing to say what he feared that scum of a man had done to her at her party. He became furious just thinking of it.

“Did he do something to you?” 

He couldn’t help but laugh, a soft sound of shock that he couldn’t hold back. It was obvious to him that something had happened at her party, something deeply upsetting and here she was, concerned for him. 

“You serious?”

Stevie was even more confused and she shifted in the passenger seat, worried this would spiral into a conflict she had no idea how to deal with. The shock and anger in his voice scared her, not because she worried he would hurt her, but the idea of being on his bad side, of being someone he no longer wanted around, was terrifying to her.

“I know that asshole did somethin’ to you at your party.” 

She opened her mouth, but no words escaped her and she was left to gape at him. 

“He left your room right after you. Knew you were actin’ weird, knew he hurt you.” 

“And you beat him up because of it?” 

“You angry?” He asked, his voice low with barely contained worry. 

“No, why would I be?”

“Cause I beat the shit outta your boyfriend.” 

“He’s not my boyfriend.” She corrected quickly, desperate for Fez to know she wasn’t a taken woman, especially not for a man like Jeff. 

Fez just nodded slowly, trying not to show how elated he felt at the knowledge of her lack of relationship. But there was still one burning question that wouldn’t leave his mind, no matter how much he feared to know the harsh truth. 

“So what the hell did he do to you?”

Stevie opened her mouth to refuse that there was ever a problem with that night, that there hadn’t been a fear inducing moment with that asshole, but Fez beat her to it.

“And don’t give me any shit, kay? I know you, Stevie, I know you were upset that night and I know it has somethin’ to do with that asshole.”

She was left to stare at her shoes, refusing to meet his eyes. She didn’t think she could look into those deep pools of blue that captivated her so greatly as she told him about that night. 

“It’s not…” She began but trailed off, sighing heavily as she tried to buck up the courage to say the words to the one person she really did not want knowing. “It’s not that bad. He just… it took him some time to understand the meaning of the word ‘no’.” She admitted quietly, her fingers picking at a thread on her jeans anxiously. 

The car came to an abrupt halt, a flurry of horns sounding from pissed off drivers behind them. Fez then cranked the wheel, maneuvering a rapid u-turn.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Gotta teach that playboy a lesson. Fucker can’t be walkin’ ‘round after that shit.” Fez said, his voice low and simmering with anger.

Stevie had to ignore the feeling that bloomed in her stomach that was definitely not anger.

“You already beat him up, what else are you gonna do, kill him?” 

“Would be doin’ the world a favor.”

“Fez, stop. Just leave it alone.”

“Why?” He yelled, angered beyond belief by her insistence. He wanted to see the man suffer for what he did. 

“Because you’re not going to prison over me!” 

His jaw clenched, his teeth grinding together so hard it was a wonder his teeth didn’t crack from the pressure. His hands clenched on the wheel tightly, his bruised knuckles turning white. 

“Fez, please.” She pleaded, her voice softer, portraying just how worried she was.

With a heavy exhale, Fez eased his foot off the gas pedal and put his blinker on to turn around, seizing his rampage for revenge. 

Stevie let out a loud breath and slumped back in her seat, running a hand through her hair that was tangled from the wind breezing in from the open window. Fez looked over at her, his chest tightening at the sight of her looking so stressed. 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, shamefully. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t scare me.” She assured him, looking over at him with reverence. “You could never scare me.” 

Fez felt his throat go tight, like he could no longer breathe. It was quiet in the car, the radio playing on a low volume the only sound between them as he tried hard to force his brain that felt like it was short-circuiting to think of something to say to her. 

It was silent between them for a few minutes before Fez finally gained the courage to speak again.

“I’m sorry he did that to you.” 

Stevie felt her heart swell at the genuineness in his voice, one that always blew her away because it was something she seldom ever heard from anyone else in her life. 

“It’s ok. I’m fine, I’ll move on.” 

Fez frowned and looked over at her. “Yeah, well, I think..” He cleared his throat, shifting in his seat nervously. “Think at the next party, you should stick with me.” 

Stevie felt her lips twitch, wanting so badly to grin like a madman as happiness swelled within her, pushing down every anxious thought she had just seconds ago. She was amazed how he could turn her to mush with such innocent words.

“I can do that.” 

As the car pulled into the lot in front of his apartment complex, the energy around them had flipped, a lighter air around them now that everything had been aired out. Stevie still felt as though a cinder block was resting on her chest as she thought about everything that had happened on the weekend.

She was an anxious person and stewing about events were a constant. 

But with Fez, it seemed easier to brush them off. It seemed easier to think of anything bad as a nothing but a fleeting, passing thought.

She couldn’t help but look around, drinking in every inch of his home, hoping it would tell her everything she needed to know about the guy she was quickly falling for. He guided her to the couch and they got their textbooks out, making her shoulders slump in disappointment. 

She should’ve known this was truly just to study. 

Stevie tried her hardest to focus on the words on the pages in front of her and answer every question Fez had about the homework for the night, but her mind was scattered. On one hand, she wanted nothing more than to confide in Fez about all the bad shit she was feeling. But on the other hand, scaring him off was the last thing she wanted to do.

And letting the skeletons in her closet roam free for him to see was something she definitely couldn’t do if she wanted to be desirable to the man. 

She didn’t want to screw this up. 

But, Fez, someone who had been observant all his life, knew something was nagging at her.

“You ok, you seem lost.” 

“I think I’m a bad person.” Stevie said before she could second guess herself. Her desire to get things off her chest outweighing her insecurities. 

Fez looked over at her, his face twisted with disbelief. “That’s bullshit. You’re the coolest fuckin’ girl I’ve ever met. And you’re dealin’ with me, there’s no way you a bad person.”

Stevie laughed softly at his words, though it was weak, like she wasn’t convinced. Her smile slowly faded as she thought about the past weekend and the many things that had happened that made her look back in regret.

“I did oxy with Rue at my party.” She blurted out before she could stop herself.

Fez’s eyes widened and an instant shock of protectiveness swelled within him at the thought of her spiraling down a dark path of addiction. He wanted to shield her from everything bad in this world and the thought of her getting hurt because of his own supply made his chest ache in a way it never had before.

“Shit.” Was all he was able to say. 

“I don’t- I’m not like going crazy to do it again. It was cool, but… I dunno, I think it just stressed me out more than anything.”

Fez blew out a long breath, feeling like he could relax knowing she wasn’t about to start asking him for drugs now. He didn’t think he could live with himself if he sold to her and ruined her life. 

“Wait, that why you think you’re a bad person?” He asked, looking over at her with disbelief.

She floundered for a few seconds before nodding slowly. 

“Both my parents - my birth parents - are dead because of drugs. But one of my best friends in the world is an addict. You deal drugs and I love spending time with you.” Her words made his heart jump and he fought hard not to show just how fucking elated he felt.

“I should hate drugs, I shouldn’t be experimenting, I shouldn’t feel so… neutral about them.” 

Fez felt out of his element, but he would be damned if he didn’t try his hardest to soothe every worry in her mind that to him, had no business tarnishing any part of her beautiful spirit. 

“You don’t gotta base your entire life ‘round other people, even your family. You’re a person, your own person and you gonna do what you want. You gotta live your life without worryin’ what other people think.”

Stevie was pleasantly surprised by his words. His very Fez-like delivery made her smile, holding back a smirk, but she couldn’t deny that what he was saying made sense. 

“And you’re last person capable of bein’ bad.” He added, suddenly feeling courageous to say exactly what was on his mind, just to make her feel better. “You’re smart, funny, you actually give a shit about other people and… you’re beautiful. You’re a ray of fuckin’ sunshine.” 

He shocked himself and the courage he possessed in that moment as he looked her directly in the eye, needing to make sure that she knew that he meant every word. But all he saw was disbelief in her gaze, the instinct to disregard his compliments and tell him he was wrong.

“Don’t look at me like that.” 

“Like what?” She asked, her voice weak, still reeling from his words. 

“Like what I’m sayin’ ain’t the truth.” 

Stevie was stunned to silence. No one in her life had ever spoken to her with such a genuine need to show her how special she was. Not even her parents had ever tried this hard to pull her away from the negative lens she placed over herself. 

Her eyes slowly moved upwards, finding Fez still looking at her with nothing but that pure-hearted, genuine gaze of his. 

The moment shifted suddenly, the air around them no longer innocent, no longer a moment between two friends. It was electric, heavy with unspoken words and ignored feelings. It came to a head in that moment, both of them too fucking sick of holding back what they felt, what they had been dancing around for weeks.

Stevie noticed Fez’s eyes flutter down to her lips before quickly averting upwards, like he had done something wrong by wandering, by the silent gesture of wanting more. 

“Fez,” She said softly, barely a whisper, and he swallowed thickly. “You can kiss me.” 

He swore his heart stopped. He hadn’t meant for his gaze to wander, to give away just how much he wanted to kiss her, not after what she’d told him about Jeff and that asshole trying to force himself on her. 

He wasn’t about to put her in that situation, not so soon after what she’d been through.

He shook his head and let his gaze fall from hers. She moved in closer to him, placing her hand on top of his that was nervously plucking at the couch cushion below him. Her other hand surprised him, landing softly on his cheek and she gently coaxed him to look at her again.

“I want you to.” 

His blue eyes were wide and though there was still a lingering sense of hesitance, worried how this would change the nature of their relationship - neither one of them wanted to say goodbye to their friendship - there was excitement. They couldn’t deny that this new step into strange territory was one they wanted so badly.

Fez leaned forward slowly and he heard her breathing hitch slightly, making his eyes fall closed with a heavy breath because, goddammit, that was the sexiest fucking thing he ever heard. His heart was thumping fiercely as he gently pressed his lips to her, still tentative, worried she would think of Jeff and what he tried to do to her and push him away in fear. 

Stevie’s stomach twisted and flipped and rolled into knots instantly as he kissed her with all the gentleness she knew he would possess. 

A colorful firework display was happening behind his closed eyes and he knew he was doomed. He wanted this feeling to last forever.

The kiss was slow, hesitant and brief, innocent in the way only two friends exploring their deeper feelings could be. 

But as their eyes opened, a shared look of realization passing between them, something shifted. They knew there was no going back now. 

Within a second, Fez crashed his lips to hers again, Stevie meeting his kiss with equal fervor. His hands traveled down the length of her body to grip at her waist, needily pulling her in closer to him. 

Stevie gripped the back of his neck, tilting her head to deepen the kiss as she felt his tongue swiping against her own, the moment now much more lustful than curious. She held onto him tightly, letting him guide her into his lap.

Fez’s hands slowly started to rise, his touch gentle as he felt her bare skin beneath her shirt’s rising hem that was too tantalizing not to touch. 

“Fucking hell.” 

They broke apart abruptly, Stevie practically throwing herself off his lap. 

Ashtray glared at both of them. “You two better learn to take it upstairs ‘cause I ain’t gonna be walkin’ in on this shit everyday.” 

“Sorry, bro.” Fez mumbled, his cheeks burning with a blush of embarrassment. 

As Ashtray stomped out of the room, grumbling about needing to wash his eyes out with soap, Fez and Stevie shared soft, knowing smiles. 

“Sorry ‘bout him. He’s an ass.”

“No, no, it’s ok.”

Fez nodded, biting his lip anxiously, a question burning in his mind. “So… was that-”

“It was perfect.” She interrupted what would have been a nervously stuttered question. 

“Yeah?” He perked up, looking at her with barely contained excitement, still quite not believing this was how the day had turned out.

“This is gonna make studying a lot harder now.” Stevie drawled and Fez snorted, placing a hand over his face as he leaned back into the couch. 

After that day, their relationship was different. 

Instead of meeting up to study, Fez took her out on dates, real dates that any other budding relationship would have. 

He would take her out on the weekends, eating greasy fast food on the hood of his car, driving around town, the radio blasting at an ear-splitting level. He loved to watch her sing, her hair wild with the blowing wind, completely uninhibited for the first time. 

He took her to see a scary movie and as everyone screamed in fright at a jump scare he heard her laugh. Looking over at her, his lips quirked upwards in amusement, she caught his gaze, still giggling and shrugged at the questioning look in his eyes. 

He couldn't resist her. They spent the rest of the movie tangled in each other, making out like the pair of wild teenagers that they were. 

She was beginning to spend more time at the store than her own home. She would make her way there after school and spend hours with Fez, sitting on the counter as she finished her homework as he worked. They would talk about nothing and everything. 

He told her about his grandma, how he got started in drug dealing. She told him about her adoption, about her sometimes crippling anxiety. 

One of the first things they loved about each other was the way they listened. 

Ashtray was getting to know her better, he no longer glared at her untrusting whenever she was around. He wouldn’t admit it, but he liked when she was around. He liked to see his brother smile. And he loved it when she would come over and make mac and cheese. He didn’t know what she did to it, but it was the best he ever had.

Stevie supported Fez through everything. She was there to sneak him into her room in the middle of the night after a stressful deal with Mouse. She would hold him tight, soothing him of the anxieties he had in his crazy life of his. 

He sometimes worried, wondering if he was being selfish for letting her be in his life that would inevitably have its moments of danger. But when she would hold him, when she would gently graze her fingers over his buzzed hair and kiss his forehead, he swore he would never let her go. 

She was there to help out with his grandma, loving to hear the stories of the badass woman she used to be and wishing she could know her now, secretly longing for the woman’s approval.

She was there when he finally decided to drop out of school.

She supported every decision in his life. 

And he was always there for her when her brain got too loud, when she had trouble discounting the negative voice in her head that told her she was being judged, that told her to retreat within herself and protect herself by never letting anyone in. 

Fez was always there in the bad moments, reassuring her of how special she was, how much he needed her. 

He always told her she was his ray of sunshine. 

On the nights she’d sleep over at his place, he was always there in the morning, reminding her to take her meds as he made breakfast for her and Ash. She blushed everytime. 

She wouldn’t never say this to anyone, knowing the roll of the eyes and judgemental looks that would follow, but they were perfect. Fez was perfect and the beautiful relationship they’d built was perfect.

After a month of dating, Stevie found herself lounging on his couch, watching some B-list action movie. Ash had already gone to bed, leaving the two of them to tangle together without the kid’s snarky comments ruining the mood.

Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t keep her mind from wandering, wondering just what would happen with the two of them, wondering what their relationship was. 

Fez looked down at her from her place on his lap and he smiled, running his hands through her hair. He soon noticed the concentrated look on her face, one that wasn’t reserved for the movie. 

“What’s got you thinkin’, sunshine?” 

“Hmm?” 

“You’re thinkin’ bout somethin’.”

She turned to look up at him, her face twisted in amusement. “How’d you know?”

“You get this look on your face when you’re thinkin’, like you a million miles away. You bite your lip, your eyes get all squinty and you get that crease right here.” He explained, gently rubbing his thumb over the spot between her brows. 

A grin broke out onto her face, touched by how observant he was with her, how he could read her with such ease. 

“You worried ‘bout somethin’?” He asked, his tone more serious now. She sat up and leaned against the couch next to him, winding her arm through the crook of his elbow and resting her head on his shoulder.

“Nothing bad.” She assured him softly. “I was thinking about us, what we’re doing.”

Fez narrowed his eyes and looked over at her, slightly worriedly. “And?”

“And… I was wondering… what we are. We haven’t really talked about that yet.” 

He reached down and intertwined their fingers, bringing her hand up to place a kiss on her knuckles, reveling in the way she snuggled in closer to him.

“You’re my girl.” He said simply. 

Lifting her head from his shoulder, she looked at him with a barely contained smile. “Yeah? So we’re in a relationship, the whole deal?”

“Yeah.” He said with a slight scoff, like he couldn’t believe she even had to ask. “The fuck else you think we’ve been doin all this time?”

She laughed quietly and leaned over, kissing him softly. Fez kissed her back hungrily and with the movie long forgotten, he pushed her back against the couch and hovered over her, his lips never breaking from hers.

~~

Making sure to still make time for her friends, which had gotten harder since she’d skipped a grade didn’t see them as often in school and now especially that she was in a relationship, she found herself at Maddy’s house one Saturday evening as they got ready for a party. 

Stevie was lounging on the bed, scrolling through her phone aimlessly as Maddy droned on about Nate as she did her makeup in front of the mirror. 

“He walked me home from school yesterday and I swear to god, I've never met a man as sweet as him. He’s like, the only good guy left on this planet.” Maddy gushed and Stevie could barely contain a roll of her eyes. 

She knew what Nate Jacobs was like and sweet was definitely not an adjective she’d use. 

She contemplated finally speaking up, finally telling Maddy of their past relationship and warning her to steer clear of that controlling asshole, but Kat’s exclamation of her name stopped her.

“Is that a hickey on your neck?!”

“What?!” Maddy and Cassie yelled simultaneously, looking at Stevie with excited, teasing smiles.

Stevie covered her neck and sat up, moving away from Kat who was poking at the dark spot she knew Fez had given her last night. 

“Who are you fucking?” 

“How long has this been going on?”

“Are you dating or just fucking around?”

“Why haven’t you told us?” 

Her friends’ questions came back to back and they all stared at her, waiting impatiently for the dirt. 

“I’m not fucking anyone.” Stevie lied. She loved her friends but they could be a lot, especially when it came to the topic of boys and sex. 

There was a part of her that wanted what she had with Fez to just be theirs and no one else's. 

“You’re so full of shit.” Maddy admonished, crossing her arms over her chest as she stared her friend down. “Just tell us, we aren’t gonna judge you.”

Stevie sincerely doubted that. But the more they stared at her impatiently, the more they wore her down and she eventually sighed heavily in relention. 

“I’m in a relationship. I have been for a couple of months now.” 

“Is that why you blew me off last weekend?” Maddy asked with a narrowed gaze and Stevie nodded slowly, wincing at the admittance that she worried made her a bad friend.

“Who is it?” Kat asked her eagerly, her kind eyes that longed for details making Stevie smile lightly. She knew Kat was a kind soul, a good friend who genuinely wanted to know because she was happy for her. 

“It’s Fez.” 

The room went quiet for a moment before it erupted chaotically in even more questions.

“You’re dating a drug dealer?!” 

“Jesus christ, Cassie, why don’t you say it louder, I don’t think my parents 5 blocks away heard you.”

“Didn’t he drop out of school?”

“Yeah, he’s got the store to run.”

“And a drug dealing business.” Maddy mumbled under her breath.

“Hey, he’s a lot more than just a drug dealer. And you visit him before every party so what’s your issue?” She defended, feeling her anger rising at the barrage of questions. She would defend Fez until the end. 

“Whatever.” Maddy rolled her eyes and turned back around to continue with her makeup.

“Is he good to you?” Kat asked her quietly and Stevie nodded, smiling at the genuine question. 

“Yeah, he’s…” She trailed off, a goofy smile overtaking her. “He’s the sweetest.”

“Is he good in bed?”

“Cassie.” Kat scolded with a blush on her cheeks, the topic now verging into territory that made her bashful. 

“What? Come on, you can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it. Fez is so quiet and chill, I can’t imagine him having sex.”

“Well, I would prefer if you didn’t think about my boyfriend having sex.” 

Kat snickered at the banter, but she had to admit, she was wondering that too. Looking over at Stevie, she leaned in closer, raising a questioning brow.

“Is he good?” She asked quietly.

Stevie bit her lip as her thoughts drifted to Fez and the many times she had ended up in his bed. 

“Yeah, he’s good.” She answered vaguely, her voice slightly dazed as she continued to reminisce.

“That’s it?” 

“Yeah, come on, give us some details.”

“Does he go down on you?”

Stevie felt her cheeks warm, another memory taking over and she laughed, leaning back on the pile of pillows behind her as she grinned like a woman in love. 

“He went down on me for like two hours last night.” 

Cassie’s jaw dropped and she looked over her shoulder at Stevie in disbelief before laughing loudly. 

“Wow.” Kat whispered, her mind wandering to fantasies as it usually did when her friends talked about their sex lives, making her lack of a sex life all the more obvious to her. 

“Damn, go Fez.” Maddy said with a soft laugh. Looking at Stevie in the mirror, she smiled. “You’re a lucky bitch.”

Stevie knew she was lucky, she had been lucky since the first date. She knew she was a lucky girl to have captured his attention. Fez wasn’t the type to drool over girls, he was more pragmatic than people gave him credit for.

But she was counting her lucky stars that she was the one to turn his head. 

She’d been with other guys before but they never excited her, they always made her long for something more, something better. But everything was different with Fez.

She had the best now. 

Stevie could’ve spent the rest of the evening gushing about Fez, gushing about how her entire outlook on life had changed. 

She used to see sex as an itch to scratch, or even a social liability, something you better get done before people start looking down on you, thinking there was something wrong with you for not getting to it. 

Of all the cliches she’d heard in her life, sex was infinitely better with someone you love, was one she knew was true. 

Fez could make her toes curl, her eyes roll into the back of her head, her back arch, her vocal chords to sing without restraint. 

He touched her with a desire no one else ever had for her. He sent her into a desire no one ever had before. 

~~

“Fez,” Her soft voice sounded in the dimly lit room. Her hands trailed up the length of his back to grip onto his shoulders, leaving goosebumps to rise on his skin in the wake of her touch. 

He moved deliberately but slowly, thrusting into her with reverence. He pulled away from where he had been lavishing her neck with desperate kisses and held himself above her, looking down at her in awe, relishing in the way her lips parted with a gasp at his next thrust.

His face was one of concentration and when her hand reached up to cradle his cheek, his eyes fluttered closed and he leaned into her touch, keening softly as he very subtly quickened his pace. 

He leaned down, letting his forehead rest against hers and his one hand, which had been clutching to her waist, moved to grab hers, intertwining their fingers and holding them against the bed below them. 

He kissed her sporadically through their panting breaths, using his other hand to grasp at her thigh, hiking her leg upwards further on his waist. 

She let out a shuddering breath, her head falling back onto the pillow below her, her eyes squeezed closed as he moved steadily, his hips grinding against her in the perfect way that never failed to make her shake. 

“You close, baby?” Fez panted, his voice ragged and desperate. He needed her to fall off the edge and soon because he knew he was close to losing his control. 

She nodded frantically, her chest heaving with her heavy breaths as he drove her to ecstasy. She could’ve cried at the gentle way he held her, at the way he looked at her with a gaze filled with nothing but love. 

“Fez, please.” She breathed out, begging for more. 

He groaned lowly, a raspy sound that sent shivers down her spine. Her mouth dropped open, a whine escaping her, and her hand clenched in his own as he quickened the pace, fucking her deeper, with more vigour, making her head spin pleasurably.

He felt his control slipping from him each time his name fell from her lips. The way she dug her nails into his shoulder and tightened her legs around his waist, holding him in closer to her brought him dangerously close to the edge. 

Fez moved deliberately, looking for that one spot he knew drove her crazy and he knew when he found it when she let out a loud whine and shuddered against him. His breathing became ragged, his hands moving to cradle her head, his fingers tangling in her already messy hair. 

He crashed his lips to hers fiercely, muffling her moans which were getting louder and louder. Her body seized against his, her lips parting from his, a sharp cry escaping her as she crashed head first into her orgasm. She clenched around him even tighter, making Fez squeeze his eyes shut, his face twisting with effort to work her through her high.

He grunted loudly, his hands pulling at her hair unknowingly as he reached his earth shattering peak. His hips stuttered against hers as he breathed heavily in her ear, his pace slowing until eventually stopping. He slumped over her, resting his weight on top of hers comfortably.

They basked in silence as they caught their breaths. 

Fez held her just a little tighter, placing a gentle kiss to her shoulder before rolling off of her with a hearty exhale. But he didn’t move too far. He kept her in his arms, planting his lips on every inch of her that he could find in his exhausted and sated state. 

“Do you gotta go home tonight?” He asked quietly and she shook her head, leaning in closer to his touch.

“No, I’m staying right here.” 

His touch eased her mind, something no amount of medication could ever do for her. 

She found solace in his arms. She found her problems meant absolutely nothing in his arms. 

But, as she knew from living in this town, peace was never a lasting image. 

~~

I will definitely be writing more about this couple! The next part will be based on the show’s plot and shit will go down with Nate and Mouse and all that angsty goodness. 

Hope you enjoy xx

#fezco euphoria #fezco x reader #euphoria #fez x reader #fez imagine #fezco smut

[muffindaddystyles]

LOST IN ITALY.

Where Harry's cute assistant gets lost in city of Italy and the thought of loosing her drives him bullocks.

Flatulent gust of breezy wind kept wiggling through Harry’s coffee lovelocks, sunshine bounces against his soft skin and his pink heart-shaped mouth stays puckered as he takes in the beauty of his surroundings with his cheek smashed over his wrist – which’s resting atop the rooftop of yacht and his head perks up puppy like when tufty giggles maroons in his ears.

He gazes his cute assistant from under his ray bans and skims back a timid smile when her face beams with glee, her cotton puffy sleeved sundress blows away from the breeze giving glimpses of her plump thighs and Harry sucks in a breath snapping his eyes away.

“Harry look s’beautiful!” She squeals taking another picture of landscape with her grandpa's vintage Yoshika camera and Harry just rumbles his lips, shrugs and slumps back, a lazy mumble of “mehhh” elicits past his lips.

She’s just so endearing, and cute and fucking adorable it’s hard for Harry to keep from not babying her.

When he first went to sets of My Policemen he considered her rather unprofessional, as everyone kept on finding her but it seemed like she vanished into thin air, turned out when Harry took a break in his cubby she was lighting up saffron and black scented candles, “Oh! Thought you’d like comin' back to nice smelling room —-- holy fudge .... by the way, me Y/N your new assistant for the meantime.” His all grumpiness defused into bunch of reverence for her.

She'd always beat him to bringing in brekkie and smoothies for him and her fellows, sometimes giving him the velvet muffins before he goes back home --- Harry became such a drooly lovey puppy for her that he decided to keep it stern from then.

He’s trying. He’s prolly gonna fail.

Y/N isn’t very immune to water trips and she was well aware that a sickness is coming – but so soon? She didn’t know that!

So, when she chokes onto nothing and then gags driving Harry into fritz. Harry tries to keep his balls in place and not panic because that’d just spill his secret and expose him.

He quickly facades himself under stoniness, “Christ! Y/N if you die on me —-,” Though, grabs her elbow lightly and walks her to the edge of the deck.

Y/n smacks his hand away. Glares him and grunts pushing her hair away aggressively, “Don’t tell me what to do I’ll die wherever the hell I want!” His pupils resembling to that of clashing waves of sea blows away comically as she huffs and pushes past him.

“Better die and ghost you for life.” She gags into her elbow again and he rushes to grab her hand, when she pulls away with a tut he rolls his eyes brings his glasses to the bridge of his nose and looks at her from under the brown sunnies, “Jeez just holdin' a hand, not gonna slip a ring, ‘s that what yer afraid of.”

“Just admit you’re desperate to hold my hand.” She smirks up at him and he cackles, then dims into nervous chuckles because oh fuck he’s getting caught red handed.

“No.” He mutters.

How much she resists not to pout and turn all fussy over his denial she ends up doing so and it’s his turn to smirk cheekily at her.

“Are you mad? You look mad.” He wiggles his finger at her and she grumbles folding her arms infront of her bosom and cranes her head to side, “I’m not mad.”

“Yer pretty face’s all screwed up, like you’re mad.” He nibbles at her and she glowers him --- sighing at last, the wisp of her hair falling in her eyes, her lips plush and glossy from sick.

“I’m perturbed, not mad.”

Then there’s an overrated pause of silence and heartbeats before Harry pokes her knee.

“You still look mad.” His face splits into a wide cheeky grin – showing his bunny teeth and she stands up hastily wobbling a little.

“’M’not mad! But I’ll be soon Harry Styles!!!!” She goes for smacking him at chest but he jerks back and sneaks his way out squealing annoyingly, “Mommy come save me from this feisty sea-creature.”

“You mean a mermaid?” She giggles.

“No. Frogfish.” He deadpans.

“I’m not talking to you ever again!” She cries out and turns away from him but he barks out a laugh --- riling her up is the most entertaining thing and seeing her make cute fussy faces another.

“’Kay, sorry! Wouldn’t do it again.” He toddles behind her and glides his forearm against her clavicles bringing her to his front, “Says this everytime!” She squirms pushing him away but he’s ten times stronger than her and even if she’s ... she’d want to spend some more time like this.

“Wouldn’t call ye' frogfish —-.. from now on.” She nods. Humming in agreement and he turns her, holding her from shoulders and looks down at her with glinting eyes and wide toothy mouth.

“How ‘bout blobfish? They look more funny.”

“I’m gonna kill you, Harry Styles!”

..

They were given a loft infront of the shore 10 minutes drive away from the shooting place and after fighting over who'll occupy the bed, bickering and pillow fighting over it and almost making it creaky loose bench Y/N went back to living room telling him that he snores so much, “Sorry but ‘m too sensitive to piggy snorey noises – better sleep outside.” He was fuming and gritty mess, flailing his limbs like a baby because he was “the hair on his directors head” away from sharing the bed with her.

“Whateva! your loss. Don’t come t'me beggin’ to pop your backbones.” He told her in high pitched mimickness and flumped under cool sheets.

His one hour nap turned into two then three. In the meantime, Y/N made a sandwich from the fresh veggies piled in the fridge, sipped onto her matcha drink sitting beside the window and enjoyed he view, even went through her socials.

Realized that she’s missing him around her terribly even if it’s just jokes and giggles and shit, whatever, so she took her camera and went outside to take pictures of shore and the purple sky battling with hue of clouds.

She got so charmed with Italy's beauty that she kept on walking and taking pictures, only to realize when the bustle of crowd dropped into tranquil quietness and she found herself into some unknown street.

She’s fucked.

She’s lost.

She has got nothing,

Not even her phone.

She contemplates to knock on the house doors and ask for locations but she’s petrified of the idea and tries to find some shop, so she could call someone and ask them to pick her up.

Dumb. Dumb. Dumbest decision, she has ever taken in her life.

When she sees no passer by, none tourists no-one in sight and the daylight defusing and darkness laughing and taunting her tears springs in her eyes --- bubbling at the corners and weeping down furiously.

Her heartbeats drops dead when she sees a group of men approaching towards her. She runs away hiding into the dark tunnel and clamps her mouth shut from crying out loud when they walk away -- they weren’t about to do anything to her – it was just her feared instincts.

“Harry ......” She whisper-cries into her wrist, her legs weak and trembly making her tumble down into dusty stoned pavement, her back getting scratched from the bricked wall of tunnel.

..

Harry woke up to pin-drop silence. Void of the sun that was once glimmering through the window, “Y/N.” He grogs out, knuckling the sleepiness away and trudged out finding the room empty.

It startles him. Waking him up properly now. A sweat flushes down his spine when he couldn’t even find her in the washroom and at the door-steps.

He dials her number and finds it at the coffee table, gruff cruses breathes out from his mouth at that.

FuckFuckFuckFuck.

His heart feels like someone’s squeezing it mercilessly in their grip when he goes outside, but couldn’t spot her and he finds it difficult to breathe, chest heaving as he snaps his head in every direction to look for the face he’s oh so in love with.

Where are you, Y/N?

Maybe, she’s angry with me? Did I hurt her in any way? Oh, fuck. I’m such a bitch.

Now, she’s angry with me and hiding in some corner cursing me out.

I have to bring her back.

So, he calls anyone in connection with Y/N in hopes that she’s with anyone of them and when there were, “no mate --- maybe check in the washroom...” and “last time she texted, said she’s going out to take pictures.”

Harry’s face pales at that. Sick to his stomach. His fists tighten by his sides to keep his calm the world around him spins for a moment and he stables himself with the nearby railing.

Bad thoughts spirals in his mind, how much he avoids them it frightens him like his worst enemy.

What if she’s hurt? It hurts him in heart even to think that.

Got into an accident and they took her?

Fuck.

What if some mafia has kidnapped her.

Obviously, Italy is famous for mafias ..... No!No!No! Harry shut up, shut up, shut uppppp!!

He screams internally to pause everything and think rationally.

He searches for her everywhere. In every street. His feet hurting until now and he chokes onto a sob, not even wanting to think of getting police involved and still not able to have her back.

He shouts for her name. Halting past anyone looking like her, that mini dress she flaunted infront of him with a gorgeous smile –-- asked him how it looked on her and he wasn’t very interested to give a response.

If he could take all of it back and praised her like his life depended on it, only if he’d told her how much he loves her, her making sure he’s comfortable in his cubby, her bringing cold milk drinks for him, dividing her oreos with him.

His hands shakes by his side, his lip twitching constantly and his legs trembles pathetically with each step he takes.

He stops. Narrows his eyes to squint through the darkness and he feels like someone blew oxygen back in his lungs, his knees weakening at the sight of some girl sitting on the bench, her shoulders slump and her head downwards as she clutches the edge of bench, rocking on it with quite sniffles.

He prays that it’s her.

Upon, hearing the footsteps Y/N looks up and those sweet eyes are enough for him to recognize her in between many people.

“Harry?” Her voice feeble and scared.

“Oh baby .....” He mumbles. Rushing towards her, stumbling back a bit when she flies in his arms and latches to him like the missing piece of her body.

His palms curves into her ribs, her face smashed into the crook of her neck – her tears wetting his skin instantly and his cheek squished atop her sweaty hair, he hugs her for dear life making her legs dangle in the air, she sobs nuzzling deeper into his throat and he caresses her shoulders to soothe her cries down. Kisses the side of her temple with tender affection and sighs in relief.

“Shhh. Shh baby, ‘s okay. I’ve found y’now ..... ‘m here sweetheart ‘s alright.” He doesn’t stop splodging soft pecks to her forehead – scared that if he’ll she’ll get lost from his arms again.

Her hiccups painful not letting her take a breather and Harry puts her down on her feet gently, taking her face in his clammy hands and hooks his thumb into her hair gazing into her glassy eyes intensely, “Hey look at me lovie’ just .. focus on me alright?” She nods at his plea grabbing his wrists and follows his breathing pattern.

He glances back at the bench and goes to grab her camera but she cries out fisting the hem of his corduroy shirt in her tiny hands, “No!” could barely choke out from her dry throat and he turns his attention back down onto her, strokes the rosy apple of her cheeks and pets her head.

“Not leavin’ yer side baby .. was bout to get your camera fo’ you. Could come with me if you don’t like stayin' away.” He assures her softly and trots towards the bench with his arms still around her as she keeps on hiding her face into his bicep.

They walk down the street like that, she has calmed down letting a sniffle slip here and there --- this kind of scenario has never happened to her before – she has never been outside of her home city before too.

He feels her tummy screech for food so asks her, chin butted atop her head, “You’re hungry, petal. Let’s get pizza.” She doesn’t feel like eating though. When she shakes her head – squeezing him more. He takes her from shoulders looking down at her with gentleness and brushes a strand of hair behind.

“Just a tad, darlin'. I know a delicious take away round the corner ... could eat it sittin' by shore.” He offers her with a smile and punches the air happily, whistling when she agrees.

When she giggles softly, defrosting back from numbness Harry spins them a little overly gleeful.

“Got me sweet girl back.” He exclaims ducking down to kiss her cheek and now when she’s less wobblish, her lungs fills with bunches of butterflies.

Blush splatters on her features. As Harry aligns his tanned arm with her delicate one and locks their fingers together lulling it backs and forth between them lovingly.

He keeps her tucked under his chin and snuggled in his arms all the time, even while waiting in the line for the take away.

“Ow!” Squeaks, “Ow. Ow.” Jumps on his tippy toes upon balancing the hot pizza on his palm.

Grins like a mad man when succeeds in making her laugh, takes her hand and helps her climb down slippery stones.

Goosebumps arises on her skin from shyness when he coils his strong arm around her to pick her up, with pizza in his other hand and giggles breathily in her ear upon hearing her squeals.

She sits in between his knees. Leans against his chest and inhales his woodsy vanilla scent, nibbles onto the crust while hearing his heartbeat.

“You scared the living hell out of me, lovie’ ... thought —-... thought I’d never be able to have you back again ... proper vanished.” He croaks out. Runs his nose up and down the sweet curve of her neck.

“Made me realise ... that I don’t want to be away from you, ever.” Y/n's breath hitches at that and she turns in his embrace. Looks at him with surprised doe eyes and coos when his eyes gloss over with wetness, that he’s forcing to keep at waterline.

“I really like you, Y/N.”

“You do?” She gasps.

He bobs his head giddily, “Can you picture it? You and I together?” He murmurs mellow street light dancing between them.

“’Us'? I like the sound of that....” She smiles searching for his hand and he grasps it eagerly like he was yearning for it.

“Kay then, when could I take you on a date?” He grins. Dimples mauving deep and pretty.

“This isn’t a date?”

“We’re in Italy. The sky's so romantic and I’ve got you, seems like a date to me....” She peppers kisses to each rosy gap of his knuckles and his inside bursts like they never did before.

“Kay then. It’s memorable too, you got lost on our first day –--”

“Harryyyy....” She whines nudging him in belly with her elbow. “’Kay we could change that.” He laughs. Showering her in kisses and her laughs whirls loudly into quite air, trying to squirm away from his tickles.

#when harrys looking this pretty could i resist from not writing about lovey dovey italrry? #nope my fellas #harrys styles imagines #cute harry #harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #harry smut #harry styles fanfiction #fluff #harry angst #hsh #dom harry #harry and y/n #harry x reader #italy harry #italy harry x reader #italy harry x y/n #harry styles one shots #harry styles imagine #harry styles grammy nominations #harry styles fanfictions #naughty harry

[thatshithurted8]

jeff wittek imagine where the reader and jeff go on vacation together like to vegas or miami???

Holiday 

Summary: Throughout your mini holiday in Miami with your boyfriend Jeff, he realizes just how special you and your relationship are. 

Word Count: 2.3k

Warning: Tooth rotting fluff, mention of alcoholism and Jeff’s accident

A/N This is also inspired by KSI’s song Holiday! 

I wanna wake up every mornin', feelin' better 'Cause I know you're sleeping by my side And every moment we're together I remember just to keep it all for you and I

Jeff’s brown eyes slowly open, being awoken by a crying baby that was a few rows behind you two. He lets out a yawn before looking over at you who were fast asleep on his shoulder. 

Something that not a lot of people knew was that Jeff hated flying despite being a certified skydiver. Ever since he was younger he was never a fan of flying, only now he was a bit more comfortable with it due to his experience skydiving. Nevertheless his initial nerves after waking up quickly wash away just from being in your presence.

Wanting to capture this seemingly perfect moment, Jeff slowly grabs his phone out of his pocket without disturbing you and takes a quick picture. As he analyzes the picture his heart swells at how at peace and comfortable you looked sleeping on him and in one of his sweaters. The two of you were extremely tired from catching a red eye flight to Miami so no wonder why you both fell asleep. 

Saving the picture Jeff puts his phone away and slowly opens the blind of your window seat. The rising sun shines into your row, the rays illuminating your face making your features and long lashes more prominent. The purpose of the trip to Miami was to watch the Logan Paul vs Floyd Mayweather fight. In fact you were ecstatic when Jeff told you he got you guys tickets to the event since you grew up watching boxing with your family and you were a huge fan of Mayweather. With that being said you had no idea how close the tickets Jeff got were to the ring. 

Jeff’s breath hitches as he admires you. He was so in love with you and was so excited to see your reaction to being ringside. As Jeff softly moves some stray hairs out of your face he realizes everything he does is for the benefit for not only you, but your relationship as well. It was you two against the world. 

I see that body in the sunlight Feelin' the heat and it feels right I wanna do this for the rest of my life

“I know you guys are dating and all, but you seriously need to stop staring before you sink the boat with your drool.” Mike Maijlak says walking over to Jeff’s side and handing him a La Croix. 

Jeff booked your mini holiday to last a few days before and after the fight which gave you guys the opportunity to explore Miami and let lose. With that being said neither of you were going to turn down Mike’s invite to join him on a yacht to party. So there you were talking and dancing with some girls you knew from LA while sipping on a La Croix. 

Jeff lets out a laugh while opening one of his favourite drinks. “I can’t help it man, just look at her.” He says taking a sip of the bubbly liquid while continuing to admire you from afar. 

The Miami sun that shined onto your skin paired with your infectious laugh, seemingly gave you a golden glow that made you standout. Not only that, but the bikini that you were wearing flattered your body type so well. 

After feeling as if someone was staring at you for the past few minutes you finally turn and look around the boat to find the owner of the eyes that were on you. Quickly your eyes find Jeff’s brown ones and you realize it was just Jeff staring at you the whole time, causing heat to wash over your body at his gaze. 

You shoot him a smirk and wink in return before turning back around to continue your conversation. A smirk of his own falls upon Jeff’s face as you do so, along with a light shade of pink on his cheeks. 

“You’re so whipped.” Mike laughs shaking his head, finally speaking up after watching the whole interaction. 

“Well I wanna be whipped for her for the rest of my life then.” Jeff says without realizing how big of a statement that was while his eyes remained on your beautiful figure. 

Oh, I know, I know, you know the vibe I wanna stay with you every night You and me underneath the lights I'm always good when you're by my side I know, you know you're on my mind You really make me come alive I wanna be here for the rest of my life

“Jeff look at my hands I’m literally shaking I can’t believe we’re this close!” You exclaim while glancing between your boyfriend and the boxing ring in front of you. 

“Only the best for you doll.” He says sending you a wink while laughing. For the past hour and a half as you two watched the undercards you continued to gush about your seats making Jeff happy to see you happy. 

Without wasting another second you roughly grab Jeff by his green shirt and pull him in for a passionate kiss. Just before the brunette could immerse himself into it fully you pull away. Some of your lipstick was smudged and Jeff knew without a doubt he had some on his lips, but he didn’t care. In that moment it truly seemed as if you two were the only ones there under the rings bright lights and in an arena full of screaming fans while you two stared into each others eyes lovingly. 

Your attention on your boyfriend is torn away when the already loud arena becomes even louder as Mayweather starts to walk out. Quickly you start to cheer for your favourite boxer while jumping up and down and clapping excitedly. Jeff glances between you and the boxing legend before his gaze finally lands on you. 

You look over at your boyfriend with a smile that was from ear to ear. “It’s Floyd fucking Mayweather!” You exclaim pointing over to the undefeated boxer entering the ring. 

A smile washes over Jeff’s face as he laughs at your excitement. You truly resembled a child in a toy store. Seeing your excitement only made Jeff more excited, causing him to join in on cheering for Mayweather despite being friends with Logan. 

There was no one else Jeff would rather be with to witness the fight and this thought only made him realize he wants to be by your side for the rest of his life. 

Looking for sun rays, needin' them good days Fly me away-away, you're my holiday Cool like the ocean, lost in emotion Fly me away-away, you're my holiday Whenever you're here it's a good time Strawberry shirts in the sunshine Ice-cold drinks 'til the moonlight You're my holiday Whenever you're here it's a good time Strawberry shirts in the sunshine Ice-cold drinks 'til the moonlight You're my holiday

The next few days after the fight was a whirlwind, but in a good way. Despite having a good time underneath the Miami sun and it’s nightlife Jeff wouldn’t be having as good of a time if you weren’t there. You truly made the trip for him, making the sunny days that were good for his mental health even better and the dreary days full of life from your infectious positivity and smile.  

You let out a loud laugh as you and Jeff wrap your arms around each others, mimicking a toast before brining your drink to your lips while your boyfriend did the same. At the same time you two sip at your virgin drinks while maintaining eye contact with each other in the close position. You gulp down the rest of your cold drink despite it being alcohol free before untangling your arm with Jeff’s and ordering another at the outside bar. 

Over the past four years of knowing Jeff the two of you created a special connection that no one in your friend group had with each other. And that was being sober. Jeff turned to alcohol after his break up with his ex girlfriend while you on the other hand turned to it to deal with the death of your mom. To say you were there for each other was an understatement. When the temptation to drink was too much Jeff would call you up and the two of you would go on late night hikes and talk about everything and anything, and vice versa for you. There was always a mutual pining for one another, but neither of you acted on it due to how broken you both were at the time. However, as the years went by your feelings only intensified along with Jeff’s. Though it wasn’t until a few months after Jeff’s accident when he took a leap of faith and finally confessed his feelings to you after realizing how short life truly was.

Jeff places his glass on the bar as well, placing his hand on the small of your back while looking around the crowded club that was partly inside and partly outside. Once you get a refill of your drink you turn around sipping on the paper straw, your back leaning against the bar causing Jeff to redirect his attention back to you. 

“You look beautiful.” He says looking down at you in his arms. 

Heat washes over your face and Jeff’s smile widens at how flustered you still got after all this time together. He loved showering you in words of affirmation and he meant every thing he said to you. Although, you always look beautiful the way the moonlight reflected off of your skin made you look angelic. It was a great contrast to you earlier in the day at the beach wearing a strawberry printed bikini that made Jeff feel a certain way. 

“Thank you baby you don’t look too bad yourself.” You say placing a soft peck on Jeff’s lips before pulling him towards the dance floor. 

I wanna stay up 'til the mornin' with you talkin' Just to listen to the things you say And every time we're in the middle of the city I imagine us so far away

The two of you sat down in a booth with Mike Majilak and Logan Paul at a random Denny’s that was in between your hotel and the club you four were previously partying at. By now the jet lag and the numerous activities you and Jeff participated in was starting to catch up to you. However, that wasn’t apparent to anyone other than Jeff as you talked the boys ears off while eating. 

“We’ll see you guys later! And once again Y/N text me when you’re free to film an episode of ImPaulsive.” Logan says as him and Mike get out of the booth, placing money on the table and getting ready to leave the restaurant. 

“Of course!” You exclaim before picking up your lemonade and drinking what was left. Jeff bids his goodbyes to the two influencers and once they leave you quickly rest your head on his broad shoulder, letting out a loud sigh. 

“You okay doll?” Jeff asks placing his hand on your thigh. 

“Yea just tired.” You say kissing his neck and placing your hand on his cheek. Similar to Jeff you were able to pick up on the energy of situations and that affected how you acted. So once Mike and Logan left you felt as if you could finally wind down from their partying aura. 

A comforting silence falls upon you two and your eyes slowly flutter close as the rising sun shines in through the Denny’s windows. As cliche as it sounded Jeff felt as if it was only you two in the quiet breakfast place. The brunette rests his head against yours and his eyes follows your lead by shutting close. 

The two of you remain in this position for a few minutes, cherishing not only the first quiet moment of the trip, but also the little moments you two shared. 

Ooh, ooh Ooh, you're my holiday

Scratching at his eyes and stretching Jeff slowly and quietly gets out of bed, the sun filtering in through the hotels curtains and onto your sleeping body. You looked so peaceful and he didn’t want to disturb that. Once you guys returned to your hotel room from a night out partying and a very early breakfast at Denny’s the two of you instantly fell asleep. 

Jeff glances at the analogue clock on the bedside table which read 2:34pm before he slips on a pair of pants and a t-shirt. Making sure to not wake you Jeff grabs his phone, wallet and room key then quietly leaves your shared room. However, before he leaves he makes sure to place a gentle kiss on your forehead and whisper to you how much he loves you. 

Throughout the trip he was constantly reminded of how much he loved you. You helped him through some of the darkest times in his life and after all this time of knowing and being together Jeff finally knew what he had to do. 

Remembering a shop that was a few buildings away from your hotel, Jeff quickly walks over to it wanting to be back before you woke up. The Staten Island native hands become clammy as he approaches the store, his tough guy persona seemingly crashing down with every step he took. 

The bell above the shops door dings as Jeff walks in causing a sales representative to walk over to him with a welcoming smile. 

“Good afternoon how can I help you?” She asks. Jeff takes a look around the quaint shop and all of the glass casings before redirecting his attention back to the worker. 

“Hi uh yea, I was wondering if you guys have any engagement rings?” 

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