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nadvs · 1 month

Text

cam girl (part twelve) (end)

pairing rafe cameron x female reader

rating explicit 18+

content warning alcohol use

summary you work two jobs. by day, you’re a maid for the cameron household, where rafe degrades you any chance he can get. by night, you’re a cam girl, hiding your face so nobody can recognize you. when you discover your new subscriber, the filthy-mouthed man obsessively paying you to do everything he can think of, is rafe, you’re not sure what to do next.

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Rafe realizes his hands are shaking as he rereads your text.

His eyes keep going over your words, standing up off his bed and pacing around his room just because the adrenaline won’t let him stay seated.

Why the fuck are you doing this to him?

i’m done. this is over. i’m not even a fucking person to you am i

Hot anger bubbles inside his chest. He immediately texts you back: what the fuck do you mean

Minutes pass. You don’t answer.

Rafe: ?????

Again. No answer.

Rafe: dont ignore me

He can’t take it anymore. He taps on the Call button. It rings and rings and rings. He texts you again.

Rafe: answer me

Finally, you respond: i dont need to listen to you. leave me alone

This has to be a cruel joke. Yet again, you’re cold to him out of fucking nowhere, after he thought you had a good time together.

Rafe recalls this morning, to the worried look on your face when you saw his black eye, making him think that maybe you see something of value past the wall he built around him.

He risked his pride by telling you that he always thinks about you, and now you’re done with him?

He texts you again: why are u acting like this

Thank fuck you respond.

You: i guess the slut got bored of you first

His body goes cold. He knows you’re referring to what one of his friends said. You heard that?

If that’s why you’re so pissed off, he needs to talk to you about it in person. He grabs his car keys and rushes out of the house.

Rafe is pounding on your door for so long that his hand is starting to hurt almost as much as it did when he threw those punches last night.

He feels himself teetering on the edge, getting close to the manic state he knows and hates.

He pulls his phone out to text you: open the door

You: ??? i’m not home

At this point, he sees red. He could break his damn phone if he didn’t need it right now. He calls you again, his jaw clenched so tight that it hurts.

His stomach tightens when the dial tone stops after two rings.

“Am I gonna have to block your number?” you say when you answer. The sound of a crowd and loud music buzzes in the background. He clues in that you’re at a party.

“Where are you?” he asks, head hanging, staring at the hallway floor.

“That’s none of your business.” He can hear a slur in your words.

“Are you drunk?”

“I can drink if I want to. I know you love to think you own me, but you don’t.”

Rafe swallows hard, shaking his head, squeezing his eyes shut. He heard your voice shake. Fuck. You’re crying and it’s his fault.

“Where are you?” Rafe repeats. “Let’s - we need to…” He’s stammering, anxious and unbalanced. “We need to talk… I swear, I’ll fucking wait here until you come home if you don’t tell me where you are.”

Your back is against a wall, the phone pressed to your ear. The room is loud and humid from all the bodies crammed together into one house.

You hate that you’re crying over him and you hate that he can hear it. As if his ego needs the boost.

“Why?” you finally ask, voice strained, hoping he’ll tell you what you want to hear. That there’s a part of him that cares about you.

Rafe is silent for a moment.

“Which one is it?” His chest is tight. He can’t say it now. Not over the phone.

“Neither,” you reply, then hang up. You know he’s just horny and possessive and mad. And definitely bluffing.

You shouldn’t, you know you shouldn’t, but you take another shot. Time melts away from you as you get lost in the music with your friend, determined to get Rafe and his drama off of your mind.

It’s half past one in the morning when you order a cab. The alcohol has almost worn off at this point. Someone spilled a drink on you and you just want to take a shower and sleep. You have to promise yourself that you won’t give into the impulse to wear Rafe’s shirt to bed.

You exit the elevator and your heart stops when you see Rafe sitting on the floor, his back against your door, his knee raised, his head slumped.

He meant it. He waited. For over three fucking hours.

When you get close enough for him to hear your footsteps, Rafe clambers up to stand, towering over you. His eyes sweep over your face, the blue in them even more prominent in contrast to the dark bruise over his right eye.

Even though your heart, the traitor, is thumping with desire, the ache of what he did to you is louder. It was barbaric, what he said about you. What he let his friend say about you.

“Why are you still here?” you say as evenly as you can.

“You can’t…” Rafe shakes his head, frustrated. He immediately notices you’re not wearing the necklace he gave you and his chest aches. “You can’t end this.”

“Watch me,” you say with a scoff, nudging past him. You feel him behind you, hear his shallow breaths. You unlock your door and pull out your keys.

He won’t move. You turn to look at him again, feeling your lips thin in aggravation.

“Rafe,” you state. “Please. I just want to shower and sleep. Go home.”

“No,” he says stubbornly.

“Why can’t you just go find another girl to fuck around with?” you say, raising your tone.

He almost feels nauseous hearing you say that.

“Are you worried you won’t find one who does everything like I do?” you ask. “I just can’t say no, right? That’s what you told your friends.”

Rafe looks down in shame, nostrils flaring. His lips screw up in anger. He has no words to offer.

“Go home,” you repeat. You’re sure he’s just upset about losing his favorite booty call, just so not accustomed to not getting what he wants.

Rafe doesn’t budge. You’re sober enough to know you can’t continue this conversation in the hallway and risk your voices carrying into your neighbors’ homes.

Frustrated and embittered, you turn your doorknob and accept the fact that he’s not leaving without a fight.

You turn on the dim overhead light and stand in your tiny kitchen, facing Rafe with your arms crossed, as the door shuts behind him.

He steps towards you, hands sliding up your arms before he leans down to try to kiss you.

“Stop,” you mutter, shoving him off, pushing him away.

He tries again, putting his palms on your cheeks.

“No,” you snap, driving him away harder.

Rafe feels hollow. Lost. He’s fine with showing anger. It’s second nature to him. But this? This tangled feeling of yearning feels impossible to verbally express to you.

“Why?” is all he can sputter.

“I’m not letting you use me anymore,” you say through gritted teeth.

Rafe had no idea you’d react like this over the moronic shit he and his friend said. He thought you were fine with how things were. That you were detached.

Despite the rage and anxiety consuming him, the fact that you’re this angry over this ridiculous idea that you’re not a person to him, that you maybe want to be more, makes hope bloom in his heart.

“It’s not like that,” Rafe says.

“It is,” you argue. “I’m done acting like I’m okay with it. I could handle it at the beginning, but…”

You sigh. You can’t give him the satisfaction of telling him you have feelings for him. You start to get choked up again, though, your body betraying you. You can’t hide what he does to you from him anymore.

“I’m done,” you say resolutely. This man is nothing but trouble. “My contact picture in your phone is a fucking nude. I’m just body parts to you and I respect myself too much to keep this going. Just leave. You won’t change my mind.”

“I can’t… I can’t not see you anymore,” he grovels.

“You’re just mad you won’t be able to brag to your buddies about what I let you do to me.”

“No.” Rafe brings the heels of his hands up to his eyes, looking so damn flustered. “I’m not mad about that. I… Fuck, it’s…”

“What about when he called me a slut to run through? You laughed. After he said something so fucking horrible about me-”

“Wait,” he snaps, tone rising. “Just wait. Let me talk.”

“Then talk,” you say sharply, shocked by his audacity to be the angry one here.

He takes a deep breath.

“When he called you that, I…” Rafe rakes his hand through his hair. “It’s how we always talk and I - I know that’s a shitty excuse, but I didn’t have the balls to tell him to shut the fuck up. And then last night…”

He vaguely gestures to his black eye. His mind replays the rage he felt when he heard the vulgar words used to describe you. The way his fist met his friend’s jaw. Rafe walked away with a swollen eye, but it was nothing compared to what he had inflicted.

“He said something about you and I beat the shit out of him like I should’ve the first time.”

“What’d he say?” you ask after a beat.

“It doesn’t matter.”

So, that’s what happened to him last night. You’re almost touched to hear he defended your honor, but the memory of the text you saw on his phone darkens your mood instantly, reminding you of how dispensable and cheap it made you feel.

“This the same friend who texted you about all the bitches at that party?” you say bitterly.

Rafe meets your gaze.

“You saw that?”

“Yeah,” you say. Rafe realizes that was the reason for your abrupt coldness. You were jealous. He hates that he hurt you, but admittedly, the feeling of you being envious over him is so fucking gratifying.

He sighs your name. He didn’t even glance at another girl last night. Why would he? “For fuck’s sake, I texted you all night. I told you I’m always thinking about you.”

“Rafe, you texted me about how all you want to do is hook up with me.”

“That’s not… that’s not all I want,” he sighs, defeated. How can he explain that the way he touches you is how he tells you what he’s feeling? He’s so fucking bad at talking about it.

“Then why did you talk about me like that?” you ask.

“I was…” Rafe begins. He swallows hard, his eyes refusing to meet yours now. “I know I shouldn’t have said that shit but-”

“You’re only saying this now ‘cause you got caught.”

“No, it’s - it’s more than that. I-”

“You were just being honest,” you say with a shrug. “I did everything you told me to and you wanted to brag.”

“Yeah- I mean, no…” he stammers. Your use of the past-tense is so damn hurtful, the implication that you really are through with him, and before he can think to hide it, tears start to gloss his eyes. “Just listen-”

“If I’m just an easy fuck to you, then that’s fine, just own up to it.”

“Let me talk!” he finally shouts. Rafe’s head is spinning. He’s angry and anxious and close to losing his mind.

You don’t even cower, not letting him get to you. But when you realize he’s crying, too, your blood runs cold.

“Goddamn it.” He frantically brings his hands up to his head, fingers on his temples. “I’m trying to tell you that I didn’t know how to- I don’t know how to talk about this fucking feeling you give me.”

“Try,” you say.

Rafe’s breath is shaky, blinking fast as he gazes at you.

“This is more than sex. I’m fucking… I’m falling for you,” he finally admits.

No words come to your mind. The air between you is thick. Your heart is pounding in your ears. Your stomach is numb.

Rafe lowers his gaze, his chest rising and falling rapidly. He’s worked himself up in such a panic.

He doesn’t know how or when you cracked into this side of him that he didn’t even know existed, but you did. And you’re not leaving.

“Are you serious?” you ask quietly through a shallow exhale.

“Do I need to beg you to believe me?” he says.

“Yeah,” you say with a sarcastic huff, pushing him to see where his limit is. To see if he’s being honest.

You can’t believe what you’re seeing when Rafe sinks down onto the floor in front of you, his knees on your cheap linoleum. He takes your hand in his, pulling it to his warm mouth, soft lips kissing your palm.

He realizes he would rather lose all of his pride than lose you.

“Rafe,” you say, the edge to your tone completely gone now.

The shift in your dynamic is harrowing. He’s always the one in control, the one with the upper hand. Now he’s on his fucking knees for you.

“I’m sorry,” he says, eyes locked on yours. “I’m so fucking sorry I said that shit. I’ll never do it again. You’re not just an easy…”

He can’t even say it.

“You’re so much more,” he says. There’s hopelessness in his gaze. You’re rattled with shock, your heart feeling like it’s burning in your chest.

You can’t believe it. You can’t fathom that he likes you more than just from the waist down.

“What if I stopped hooking up with you?” you challenge. “I keep seeing you but it’s nothing physical. What then?“

“That’s okay,” he says, without hesitation.

“I mean no sex,” you say. “At all.”

“Fine.”

You pout at him in endearment as relief pools through you.

Rafe is racked with the deepest form of desperation. He can’t picture a day without you. Without your smile, your humor, your voice, your smell. He fell off the deep end and there’s no fucking saving him.

Your stare is puncturing him. He’s sure he fucked up too massively to earn any sort of chance with you ever again.

But when you finally lean down to press your lips onto his, euphoria rushes through his entire being. He frantically scrambles to stand, feeling his face contort with disbelief and gratefulness and a yearning so hard that it hurts.

Rafe’s kisses are deep but fast, his big hands cradling your head, thumbs rubbing over your cheekbones.

You pull back, looking up at him with a tiny shred of remaining suspicion that he’s not being genuine.

“Let me stay the night,” he says, voice low, lids heavy. You’re unsure that he really means he’d be with you even without the sex.

You only look at him.

“I won’t try anything,” he adds. He knows you needed the reassurance. You stare at him with wide, vulnerable eyes, resting your hands on his firm, heaving chest.

“Shower with me,” you tell him, restless to wash the night off of you. “And prove it.”

Rafe nods, your face still in his hands. Fuck, he feels like you have him wrapped around your finger. He’d do anything to keep you in his life.

“Let me do the work,” he says.

You step back, heart racing, and raise your hands over your head. His fingers quickly find the edge of your top, slowly lifting it and pulling it off of you. Your jeans are next, the denim sliding down your legs.

Rafe presses against you, leading you backwards into your bathroom. His lips press against your forehead as he unhooks your bra and lets it fall to the floor.

He’s on his knees again as he peels your underwear off. You watch his eyes trail up your bare body. He can’t hide the lust in his stare, no matter how hard he tries.

As you turn on the shower, you hear the rustle of him taking his clothes off. When you step into the tub, you feel his body against your back. Big hands skim up your arms as you turn the faucet, prompting hot water to rain down on both of you.

Rafe can’t stop himself from asking.

“Did you talk to any guys at that party?” His voice echoes against the porcelain, loud even over the sound of the shower.

You smile to yourself.

“How am I gonna focus on another guy when you’re texting me so damn much?”

“Princess,” he huffs. You laugh and turn in his arms to rest your hands on his shoulders.

“No,” you tell him. “I didn’t want to.”

Rafe smirks and leans down, but stops an inch away from your lips.

“Am I allowed to kiss you?” he asks.

“Hmm… fine,” you tease. “But that’s the farthest you can go.” He captures your lips in his, his mouth warm. You feel him grow against you and you pull away to look down, his cock already almost fully hard.

“Okay, I can’t control that,” he says. You meet his eyes and share the first laugh that you’ve had together tonight.

You pick up your body wash and hand it to him. It’ll drive him crazy to touch you like this and not be able to do anything about it.

“You get my body,” you say, admittedly excited to tempt him. “And I’ll do my hair.”

Rafe’s forehead crinkles in concentration as he squeezes the body wash into his palm. Your eyes are on him as he lathers the gel over your shoulders first.

“You’re cute when you’re focused,” you giggle, starting to massage your shampoo into your hair.

The sound of your laugh, the aroma in the air is so fucking nice to him. It’s so you.

His palms move up and down your arms in gentle circles. Rafe’s groin is getting tighter by the second and the fact that he won’t get any relief for it is agony. But he needs to prove himself to you.

“You ignoring my tits on purpose?” you ask.

Rafe cocks his head in mild irritation. Touching you there will only make him harder. You exhale in pleasure once his hands rest on your breasts, gently kneading.

“You can’t make those sounds,” he says, voice strained.

“I can do whatever I want,” you reply. His hands dip below the curves of your tits. You purposely moan louder than you normally would just to torment him.

His jaw tightens as he collects more of your body wash to smooth down your stomach. His hands slide over your hips, the water and soap making your skin extra slippery, and he lands on your ass.

“Massage me a bit there,” you tell him. He huffs an aggravated chuckle, then starts to rub into your flesh.

The crook of Rafe’s neck is at your chin as he leans to massage you and you plant a gentle kiss on his wet skin. The gesture makes his stomach twist with adoration.

“Okay, that’s enough,” he mumbles, running his hands up your back. You can feel him against your leg; he’s fully erect and pining for you to touch him.

“My ass is still sore,” you groan, continuing to lather the shampoo onto your hair. “You were so rough on me in front the mirror, remember?”

The memory of fucking you on the floor in his room makes his arousal skyrocket even higher. He exhales and smooths his hands over your ass again.

You tilt your head to the side as you moan. You feel Rafe’s mouth press against your exposed neck, then he grunts against your skin and moves away abruptly.

“Getting frustrated?” you whisper.

“No,” he lies.

The hot water continues to ebb down your body as Rafe squeezes your ass.

“You can get my legs now,” you mumble. He’s half-relieved, half-frustrated to have to move his hands.

Rafe rubs in circles over your thighs, his breath heavy.

“Get on your knees so you can reach everything,” you say as you wash out the shampoo from your hair. You’re testing him, ordering him around like he usually does to you, seeing if he’ll crack.

When he kneels down, you hike your leg up onto the tub, your middle inches away from his face.

“Fuck,” he breathes, wishing he could just taste you. His hands are sliding down your calves as he gawks at the beauty between your legs, knowing you’re purposely tempting him.

His eyes trail up to your face. He looks ravenous for you.

Falling for you. He said he was falling for you.

“What?” you say with a smile. Rafe only shakes his head, continuing to run his hands over your legs.

“I said kissing is allowed,” you say, revelling in this feeling of control over him.

He doesn’t waste a second. His lips are against your pussy immediately, kissing you over and over. If you tried to keep count of how many kisses he was planting on you, you’d fail in seconds.

Arousal twists deep inside you, wanting him so badly, but loving the game you’re playing.

His lips wrap around your clit and he starts to suck, prompting you push your fingers through his hair, damp from the shower, and tug to pull him off of you.

“Kisses only,” you say. “Unless you didn’t mean what you said?”

“I did,” he huffs. He roughly shoves your wrist away to get close to you again, lips puckered. You feel his fingers ghost over your inner thighs, then pull apart your lips.

“Can I spread you open, baby?” he asks.

“No,” you respond.

“Please,” he begs.

“Kisses. Only.”

He groans. You laugh.

“You got me so turned on,” you moan. “I need to just…”

You slip your fingers between his mouth and your clit, denying him any more access.

Rafe thinks this could be thing to that finally makes him lose his fucking mind. But he stays still, knees aching from the hard tub, as you play with yourself right in front of him.

“That feels so nice,” you whisper, your knees weak. You put your other hand against the shower wall, looking down at him.

“Hold me up,” you order. He grips your hips and watches you moan and writhe over him, dipping your head back.

You dip a finger inside of you, tightening and sighing.

“Fuck.” He literally whimpers the word.

“God, there’s so many things I can think about while I touch myself,” you moan. “Like when we fucked in your car? Or when I squirted on you?”

“Which time?” he mutters, trying to have any sort of power right now by reminding you of what he can do to you.

“Aw,” you coo. “Is this like when I’m on camera? You can watch but you can’t touch me?”

“Shit,” Rafe breathes. You moan, the water dripping off of you.

He has to look away at this point. His cock is so hard that it hurts. His eyes go low, seeing a bead of precum on his swollen tip. He tries to comfort himself by thinking about how he can jerk off later.

“Get up,” you say. He brings himself up on his feet, towering over you again.

You turn your back to him again and start to rub your scalp to make sure you washed all the shampoo out.

“You’re probably cold on that side, hmm?” you ask.

Rafe’s temperature is the least of his concerns.

“I’ll keep you warm,” you tell him, looking over your shoulder. You run your hands down your body and pause over your ass, spreading yourself open.

“Put your cock right here,” you tell him.

“I- I can’t,” he moans.

“You can,” you encourage.

He kneels to place himself right where you want him. You let go, your asscheeks hugging him, feeling his length pressed up against you.

“Fuck,” he whispers, twitching against you. “This is… fuck…”

“If you didn’t mean that you can be with me without the sex, just say so.”

“I meant it,” he says. “But this is torture. I need to go. I’ll wait for you in your room, okay?”

“You can’t keep it together for me?” you tease. “I thought you liked me.”

“I fucking love you,” Rafe groans, making your heart flutter.

You’re done playing this game. You need him now.

You turn to face him, pulling him down with your hands cupping his neck to kiss him. He’s biting your bottom lip, kissing you hard.

“We don’t have to do this,” he whispers breathlessly.

“I want to,” you say against his lips, wrapping your hand around his cock. “What do you want?” He bucks up against you, groaning.

“I wanna fuck you,” he pleads.

“Then fuck me.”

Rafe’s rough and fast as he hitches your leg up, pushing you to lean against the shower wall. He lines himself up at your cunt, stretching you so much nicer than your fingers ever could.

He keeps his eyes on you when he thrusts into you, his expression both needy and satisfied.

“Thank you,” he whispers. The feeling of him thanking you for letting him be inside you hits you like a drug.

Rafe is in heaven. You squeeze him so fucking good as he rocks in and out of you. He needs to make you cum before he does. You deserve it. You deserve all the pleasure in the world.

When he starts to rub his thumb over your clit, you’re trembling with bliss. Everything in this moment feels so damn good.

“You’re my girl,” he mumbles, his usual possessive side back now. “Say it.”

“I’m your girl,” you respond. “Fuck… I love you.”

Rafe is sure he has never felt happier in his life. His thrusts get harder and faster, and with the pressure on your clit and the hot water coating your body, you whine through your orgasm.

To him, it’s a gift watching you reach your peak. You clench around him in rhythmic flutters and he can’t hold back anymore, his cum gushing out of him so fucking hard that he sees stars.

This is the best sex he’s ever had. Because now he knows it’s more than just something physical for both of you.

He kisses you hard as his body trembles, pumping into you. His forehead is against yours as you pant together and even though he’s exhausted, he stays inside you as long as he can manage.

When he pulls out, he brings his hands to your cheeks and kisses you again.

“You meant that?” he asks. He needs to know you that really do love him. That it wasn’t a heat of the moment thing. You look up at him, his lips parted, the water dripping down his face.

“Yes,” you say. His dimples are deep in his cheeks as he smiles at you.

As Rafe helps you clean up, he’s pissed at himself that he never did this before. He hates that you had to always do this alone. He won’t ever let that happen again.

Once you’re both lying in your bed, your bedroom dark save for a streetlamp casting a dull light through the window, Rafe holds you tight.

Your cheek is against his shoulder as he surrounds you in his arms. You both remained naked and the feeling of your bare bodies pressed together like this is perfection.

You softly trace your finger over the bruise covering his eye. The one his friend left on him because of something he said about you.

“What’d he say?” you ask.

“I’m not repeating it,” Rafe replies.

“Please?” you ask. “I wanna know what made you go crazy.”

“He said I seem happier lately,” Rafe says. “And before I told him it was because I wanna… be with you for real, he said… he wants to see if he could get…”

“God,” you mutter, rolling your eyes. He doesn’t have to say any more. His buddy wanted a turn with you.

“But hey, I’m not gonna let anyone say anything like that about you, okay?” he promises. “I’ll beat the shit out of anyone who tries to.”

You picture being out in public with Rafe, his arm around you. And you can’t help but ask. You need to know.

“So… are you gonna… want me around your friends and stuff?” you ask.

“Of course,” he tells you, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re my girl, right?”

It’s jarring. You’re not a lower-class maid to him. Not his personal whore. Not his slutty sugar baby. You’re a woman he loves.

Legs tangled, you fall asleep together, and you adore that the worry of falling for him is now gone. Because you’re in love, and so is he, and now you can enjoy him without telling yourself you can’t.

When you wake up the next morning, you shuffle in your position to find him, but you’re alone.

Your heart drops. Could he have been faking…?

You can’t jump to that conclusion. You’re about to check your phone when you hear crinkling coming from the kitchen.

You put on underwear and the shirt you stole from him a while ago before padding into the kitchen. He’s standing over your table, removing containers from bags.

You realize it’s from your favorite nearby bistro. He ordered food for you.

“Breakfast?” you ask. Rafe looks up at you and he doesn’t understand how every time he sees you, you strike him with how adorable you are.

“You hungry?” he says.

You settle across from him at the table. You realize he must have referenced the screenshot you sent him after the first night that he stayed over, when he sent you money to order breakfast and you sent him proof of what you bought.

As you dig into your food, you gaze at him. Blue eyes meet yours. He smirks. It doesn’t feel real. He used to look so out of place in your apartment, but this feels so natural.

“We gonna talk about how much of a cuddler you are?” you tease.

“Shut up,” he laughs. “Eat your food.”

You laugh and continue to chew.

“What do you have to do today?” he asks.

“I should study,” you say. “I was going to last night after work, but you know…”

Rafe looks down and his Adam’s apple bobs with his hard swallow.

“Are you gonna keep working?” he asks. “I don’t want you to. I wanna take care of you.”

As much as he loves seeing you around his house twice a week, he’s been getting more and more uncomfortable with the idea of you having to work so hard, having to clean up after him.

“Yeah,” you finally say. “I think I need to have the independence. To know I’m working for my own money. Does that make sense?”

“With your attitude? Yeah,” he says. You laugh.

You hope the gossip between your coworkers doesn’t get any farther up the chain. For now, you want to keep your job and the steadiness it promises.

“You can’t pull me away from my work to hook up whenever you want, though, okay?” you say.

“Even when I find you in my bed?” he asks.

“That was one time,” you scoff.

Rafe leans over to place his phone in front of you. He has your contact info up. The photo isn’t what it was before, though. It’s a photo of you sleeping, cheek pressed on his chest.

He must have taken it this morning. He wants to prove you’re not just a body to him.

Your eyes study his screen and you smile, oblivious to the fact that he’s staring at you.

But then again, you never really noticed how much he looked at you whenever you came to work at the house.

He can still remember the rush he felt when he randomly found you on that damn website. You were a fucking fantasy to him, a dream that he never thought he’d get to live out.

But here you are and by some crazy stroke of luck, you found something in him worth loving.

Rafe always enjoyed having some sort of ownership over you, claiming you as his. Because deep down, he always kind of knew he belonged to you. Whether you want him or not, he’s yours.

(the end)

author’s note: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT FOR THIS SERIES 💘 it’s so bittersweet ending it. i had so much fun writing this and it’s because of your comments and messages 😭 i’ll be writing more fics! if you want updates, please follow @xorafe-library and turn on notifications since i’ll be reblogging my work there. love you all!!!

#BRACE YOURSELVES THIS POST IS LONGGG #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x you #rafe obx #rafe outer banks #rafe x reader #obx smut #rafe x you #rafe fanfic #rafe fanfiction #rafe smut #rafe cameron x female reader #rafe cameron and y/n #rafe cameron and reader

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tojislilbabydoll · 2 months

Text

toji fushiguro

pairing ; worker!toji x fem!reader

warnings ; swearing, maybe spelling mistakes?

a/n ; hii babissss!!! first time writing~ i dont write often but feel free to request anytime, love u guys!

You had a very shitty day today. As usual, you went to Toji’s work with his favorite lunch you made! When you enter, you see the woman that always bothered Toji, not knowing he had a girlfriend.

“Hello! Could I visit Toji? I brought him something.” You asked the woman politely with a sweet smile, although you saw the way she looked at you with disgust.

“No, he’s busy right now. He doesn’t want any visitors.” You noticed her looking at you up and down in disgust.

“Well, I brought him his lunch.” You replied, a bit annoyed now by her attitude.

“Besides, I’m his girlfriend so would you just let me see him?” You sighed, lunchbox still in your hand, the food you made starting to get cold.

She scoffed, “You? His girlfriend? What a joke.. Why would he date someone like you? You look hilarious!” She laughs, slapping her knee and crossing her arms.

Suddenly she approached you and snatched the lunch you made for Toji, throwing it in the trash nearby.

You looked at her in shock, wanting to oh so badly slap her but you decided not too since she was Toji’s assistant.

You ran outside getting in your car and driving back home with glossy eyes.

You laid in bed, scrolling on your phone.

Until you heard Toji come back from home.

“I’m home sweetheart.” He shouted softly, confused on why he didn’t hear you come downstairs and run to him like you’d usually do.

“Darlin.. ya ight? Ya forgot to get me my lunch today.. Did somethin happen?” He came into the room brows furrowed slightly, seeing you on the bed with your phone.

“Somethin’ wrong sweets? Ya know ya can tell me everythin, hm..” He caressed your cheeks softly crawling into bed next to you hugging you, waiting for you to talk.

“Tell me what’s wrong baby, ya know i’m here for ya baby doll.” He whispered in your ear softly, kissing your cheek lightly, putting his fingers under your chin to make you look at him in the eyes.

“You’re assistent is such a bitch Toji..” you muttered, frowning as he laughs a bit.

“Ya say what? what did she do y/n?” He said with full seriousness as he nudged for you to tell him what happened, still a bit concerned about you, his sweet little girl.

“Well, today I asked if I could visit you right? She said no and threw your lunch in the trash! She also said I looked hilarious when I said I was your girlfriend..” You explain slowly, getting a bit upset again, he frowns as he listens to you, getting mad already.

He knows his assistant was annoying, but she disrespected his sweet lil girl? That’s a big no-no.

“..She did what? Y/n, why didn’t you tell me this earlier hm? Tell me immediately when somethin like this happens, okay? I don’t want anyone to disrespect my girl like that. You look gorgeous baby, don’t listen to that whore.. you’re the prettiest woman ever.” He whispered in your ear softly, pulling you on his lap and hugging you, patting your back knowing you’re gonna get emotional.

He feels his heart shatter in pieces when he hears you cry on his shoulder, whispering sweet nothings in your ear, clearly concerned about you.

The next day Toji went to work, he called you, you widened your eyes not expecting a call from him as he was really busy but you just pick up. Just as you pick up he already starts talking, hearing a woman crying in the background.

“Hey sweets, just fired the bitch you were talking ‘bout!” He grins proudly, flipping the camera filming the woman crying.

taglist ; send an ask or dm to be added!!

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mayaflowerxs · 1 year

Note

hi hun, if you dont mind can you make a fic of jaemin being all crazy for y/n but it starts off with them just sexting n dry humping till he goes all crazy for her. btw! i loved the affair series would love to see dream ver. :)

CRAZY IN LOVE

Synopsis: It was stupid really, you were bored and treated the app as a joke. You just never would have thought the man you began sexting would be your best friends boyfriend and at that an obsession beginning to develop.

Warning: Smut / Fluffish? / Angst . Swear word usage, Serious!Jaemin x Shy!Reader. Toxic relationship, pick me best friend, cheating,TW! mention of suicide, conflicted feelings. Reader is a bit of a push over + character development. Takes place in college. Blue: Jaemin, Pink:Reader

A/N: Hi love! Hope you enjoy and thank u sm! I haven’t considered making one for dream but maybe after I’m done I may think about it!

Pairing: Jaemin x fem reader

You felt like a shit person. You hate fake people, players even and yet here you are doing the very thing you despise. Being bored isn’t a good enough justification for it, your interest was peaked the second you scrolled by the app in the App Store. A cold rainy day that left you alone, cold and in the dark of your dorm. Roommate was out doing god knows what, your best friend could never really be cooped up for long. The cold rain drops fell on your window that laid beside your bed. Tiktok wasn’t interesting, no movies on any movie platform seemed to catch your focus. Wednesday playing in the background for the sake of keeping the room completely dark and silent.

‘HEARTSTRING, the best most popular app for young adults ready for a relationship!’

What harm could it be if you tried out the app right? It’s not like anything bad could really come out of it.

“And so I was like, Beverly you have to stop shitting around and like fucking cut the chord. He’s not interested in you anymore. I mean yeah have we been having a bit of flirty banter here and there, sure but-“

The chitter chatter of his girlfriend talking his ear off began to muffle as Jaemin focuses his attention on his cell phone. He wasn’t exactly in the best mood, it’s fucking cold outside. His thick jacket he brought with now currently wrapped around his girlfriend because of the refusal she had to bring her own. Currently sitting inside a vegan restaurant and a $50 dish that isn’t all that appetizing and fulfilling. With an hour worth of talking of all the boring shit his girlfriend has to ramble about, he feels it’s the least bit understandable he’s decided to do something he wants to do. Be on his phone.

His social battery only down by its last percentage, a small frown on his face as he scrolls through his feed. Boring and bland, only a small story of Jeno’s in which him and the boys were currently playing the newest game. Months and months of hyping it up, waiting for its release and Jaemin is wasting his time on his 30th date. By now, his bank account is about ready to burst. A cry for help he swears he hears each time he picks up his wallet. Stopping midway scroll when an ad appears, ‘HEARTSTRING!’

Taking a quick glance up at his girlfriend and sees she’s still rambling on about girl drama as she continues to take pictures of her salad and posting them online. To say his relationship with Nayoung was perfect would be the furthest from the truth. If anything, he still doesn’t quite understand how he managed to get in the relationship in the first place. What was suppose to be a quick fling, resulted in Nayoung telling the entire school they were together. Her parents were quick in wanting to get to meet him, a very serious talk from her father had chills running up his arms. “Don’t you even dare hurt my little girl. You don’t know what I’m capable of son.” He’s tried to think of ways to get out of that situation but it’s only gotten worse when Nayoung got in touch with his parents. The thrill look on their faces when they were told their oldest son was finally in a committed relationship. Jaemin felt that maybe he would always be stuck.

And if that was the case, he might as well still have fun if he can’t walk away from her.

Setting up your account came to be really easy. You plan to delete the app by the end of the night, you’re not looking for something seriously and so far the app itself doesn’t look that serious either. It seemed everything was anonymous for the most part. With only using real descriptions and names, not personal pictures are to be added and instead icons. An app for anonymous chatting. For a while it seemed it was a scam, nothing good was happening other than the constant liking of each profile that propped up for you. You weren’t looking for anything specific, you just wanted to have a conversation and just as you were about to log out and delete it. A notification popped up.

na.jaemin0813 is typing…

Hey

Hello…

Did you get the app out of boredom as well?

It’s like we’re one mind

Guess we were meant to be ;)

Haha cheeky

You know it babe

So tell me, what’s your favorite conspiracy theory you can discuss for hours

Ooh getting serious are we?

Chatting with Jaemin didn’t seem so bad. In fact, you’ve come to enjoy your conversation with him, you didn’t expect it to go on longer than anticipated.

“Y/n im home!” You hear your best friend say as she closes the door behind her. Turning off your phone before you can receive the next message Jaemin was about to send you, a figure appears by your door way. “I’m fucking exhausted.” She huffs as she drops the many bags of clothes. A pout on her face as she slumps her shoulders. “Can you make me food, i am in a serious need of a bath.” “I still have some of my left over chicken Alfredo in the fridge-“ “You know I don’t eat left overs.” She makes a disgusted look, “Please! I’ll owe you.” She smiles before wandering off to her room. “You already owe me.” You mumble before getting out of bed and into the kitchen. The running water is heard a few minutes later with the sound of music playing soon afterwards. As you let the water boil for the pasta, you get back on your phone.

Where have you gone darling?

Already missing me ?

Given you’re someone who isn’t all that dry, who wouldn’t be?

So am I safe to assume you haven’t had great chats recently?

You’re the only one who hasn’t made the entire conversation about themselves and the many inconveniences in their lives

Ugh, those people are the worst.

The loud obnoxious singing of your best friend is what interrupted your conversation with him. Focusing back on her dinner as she spent the next hour an a half in the bath.

A sigh escapes Jaemin as he waits for the three dots to appear before exiting out of the app and moving on. The loud yelling of the guys are heard as he enters his dormitory. Busying themselves on whatever video game they’ve bought lately, “On your right!” Haechan exasperates. Taking the seat next to him, Jaemin had kicked off his shoes and rested them on top of the coffee table. “Oh you’re back!” He hears Jisung’s voice as soon as he entered the small living room. “Were you in my room?“. Shrugging his shoulders, he lifts up the cup of ramen in his hand. “You stash them in your room, finally found them.” “Yeah it’s exactly why I stashed them.” He shakes his head, hearing a notification from his phone he lifts it up only to frown when he sees it was Nayoung.

“I’m guessing the date didn’t go well?” Jisung asks. “She’s so high maintenance.” He sighs before closing his eyes and rubs his temple. “Why don’t you break up with her?” Haechan asks him, half of his attention on the flat screen tv. “Because if I break up with her, her father will break my face I thought I told you already?” “Oh right- move you fuck!” Getting off the couch, Jaemin walks over to the kitchen table and takes a seat keeping the maknae company.

Lets go out tomorrow!

Shutting his phone off, Jaemin doesn’t bother responding back. Mentally and socially drained to respond. “I’ll be in my room.” He murmurs not bothering to get a response back. The door to his room gets closed behind him, falling on his bed as he feels himself about to drowse off until he hears another notification go off.

So do you study?

Third year in college :)

Really? Where?

Seoul National University.

No way really? I go there too!

We should get together sometime.

Already desperate to get to know me?

Yeah well, I’d like to be able to see the face I’m talking to instead of a screen.

Mm I don’t know…

Oh come on, are you gonna make me work for it?

Yep

Meanie :(

As the days went by the two of you have constantly texted the other. To the point people began to notice, “why are you always on your phone?” You best friend half heartedly asked one day, on her own as she busies scrolling through her feed. Eyes rolling when she sees one of her ‘friends’ post a picture. “Told her she looked ugly in that photo, can’t believe she still posted it. Eh, A+ for confidence i guess.”

Peeking over her screen she frowns when she notices you didn’t even bother answering her question. Instead, a smile on your face as you continue to text Jaemin. It’s been an entire week since you downloaded the app, an entire week since you began texting Jaemin and a week since you’ve been this lonely looking person. It made Nayoung wonder, you were never this preoccupied with your phone. If anything you never used it mainly because you didn’t have much going other than movies and tiktok. But this, no this can’t be a romcom or TikTok’s doing. “Oh my god!”

Jumping back startled, you look at her shocked face. “You’re seeing someone!” Scoffing, you shake your head and set your phone down. “Am not.” “So why did you set your phone facing down. Mphm?” “I always do that.” Stopping momentarily, Nayoung can’t tell if you were telling the truth. Unlike you, she isn’t that observant, she can’t even remember your birthday and only hopes she hasn’t missed it yet. “Don’t change the subject! Now tell me, who is it.” “No one-“ Poking you with her chopsticks, she leans closer. “Now, now it’s been AGES since your last relationship and we both know how that ended. Just want to see how this one’s like” A small pang was felt in your heart, you didn’t like to remember it. Your last boyfriend only used you to get closer to Nayoung. It hurt to know he didn’t even like you not once throughout your relationship. Broken up with him and getting the reassurance from your best friend is what got you through it.

“He’s not like that-“ “Aha! So you are seeing someone!” Sighing, you smile shyly at her. “Not really seeing if I have never met him. We only started texting each other. It’s only been a week.” You say with a small smile. A ding is heard and you were quick to check, a small chuckle escapes you and you’re entire focus was now back on your phone. You miss the small scowl your best friend has on her face. She wondered who this boy was, how is it that you didn’t tell her when all of this was happening? A bitterness began to bubble inside of her but she keeps it on the low and instead grabs the dishes and puts them in the sink.

“I’m going out, me and Jaemin got a date.” She says loud enough for you to hear her. “K have fun.” You say lowly, eyes still on your screen. Giving you one last glance, she makes her way out.

“Jaemin, are you even paying attention to me?” She huffs annoyedly at her boyfriend. “Of course I am.” He quickly typed out his last text before looking up at her. Rolling her eyes, she huffs and crosses her arms. “Is this how you’re gonna be when you visit my parents?” “Visit?” “Of course, mom has been wanting you to come visit and so I promised her the next time I fly out I’d take you with me! My friend will be coming too of course, poor thing can’t see her parents. It’s this whole drama thing she’s got going on.” She shrugs. Great another weekend ruined.

“Alright see you then.” A grin forms on her face, leaning in for a kiss before she was long gone to do shopping with her friends. Rolling his eyes, Jaemin sits back on his bed and unlocks his phone. His finger hovered over the contact. He wondered what you were up to, he was bored and a little moody that you haven’t texted him yet. Scrolling through your last few messages that he’s noticed have gotten more flirtier over the course of time.

Whatcha doin?

Why, you miss me? :(

Don’t be a brat.

You love it

And you love teasing me smh

Still mad…?

You sent a pic of your boobs while I was in the middle of class

I had blue balls for the rest of the hour

So you don’t want more?

I want you.

Aw what a cutie

I’m not cute I’m hot

Would you like to see?

Photo Sent

The text messages progressively got more flirty, from pictures of abs and cleavages. You made sure your face was no where in view of the camera. You don’t know where this confidence came from. You never sent such pictures before, and yet never would you have thought to begin sexting a stranger you met online.

Fuck y/n, I need to see you.

I’m sure your hand can keep you company

Fucking meanie

;)

“Y/n! I need help packing I just bought new clothes and I need your help making an outfit out of them!” You hear Nayoung enthusiastically shout as she enters the dorm. Slamming the door behind you, opening the camera app you take one last pictures of your chest down, wearing a black corset with a push-up bra you notice Jaemin swoons over. Sending it before shutting your phone off.

A huff is heard as you watch Nayoung drop down all her bags filled with clothes. “Okay tomorrow morning we should be heading down to my fathers cabin alright?” Nodding, she leads you to her room. Two large suitcases are taken out of her closet as she begins taking down all her clothes from the hangers. Looking at herself through the body mirror as she makes distasteful noises each time she comes across an article of clothing she no longer likes.

Do you like torturing me?

Are you fisting yourself rn?

Kinda have no other choice…

Good, go faster for me will ya?

It’ll send you another picture of me. Maybe something more revealing…

“Y/n? You listening?” “Yeah!” Looking from her bed, a large pile of clothes as she poses in the mirror. She peeked through her mirror to see how engrossed you were with your phone. A small frown as she still doesn’t know much about this guy you’ve met. “Beige or cream?” Showing you a scarf she plans to wear, she pretend to think. “Cream, doesn’t wear out your face.” Smiling, she turns around and continues to check herself out. “So who exactly will be going?” Hearing the sound of another text coming from Jaemin, you take a peek to see he had sent a picture of his own.

“Oh just my parents, some childhood friends and my boyfriend. “ “Speaking of boyfriend, will I be meeting this boy you’ve been messaging?” She wiggles her brows. “Nope, I still haven’t met him yet.” You chuckle. “Huh..” she breathes out before posing in front of the mirror. “So how are things with your boyfriend?” you ask. “Things are great! I’m so happy to be with him, he’s so sweet look he even got me this necklace.” Showing you the Diamond necklace you nod, you didn’t know much about this guy. If anything you never met him. It’s ironic how much she’s mentioned him and yet has never said his name. You don’t know how old he is, how he looks. Just that he goes to the same college as the two of you. Nayoung has even tried her best to keep him from entering your dorm. For whatever reason it is, she doesn’t want him coming over. A bit secretive with him really.

“Okay are you packed?” Nodding she smiles. “God you’re so lucky, you don’t have a lot of clothes to choose.” She sighs “ Well, I better get to finishing you don’t have to help me anymore thanks.” Grabbing your phone you close the door to your room behind you and lock it. A gasp escapes you, eyes widening at the nude he sent.

You don’t beat around the bush do ya?

Gotta show you how much you’re affecting me

Cute

My dick is cute?

Your dick looks delicious actually

Then how about you come over n suck it

Yeah but I love torturing you so keep fucking your hand for now.

Damn woman

Jaemin shut off his phone after he seen you left him on read. He was frustrated. Sexually frustrated, it’s humiliating knowing how affected he is by you. He doesn’t care he’s currently humping his pillow pretending it’s you. Chest heaving, a sweaty forehead as he chases after his release. Never has he had to work for someone this much. He would’ve given up and moved on but how could he, something about you entices him. Makes his want more, to go after you no matter the cost. He loves your banter, he loves how much you tease it keeps him on his toes. His hand going faster and faster until finally he felt the warm white liquid fall on his fingers. In the corner of his dark room, he catches his breath. Receiving another message but only groaning when he sees it’s Nayoung.

Can’t wait for tomorrow!

To say you weren’t cranky would be a lie. You knew you’d be getting up early you just underestimated how early. Nayoung isn’t a morning person and to think she would be demanding you to get up at 3 in the morning was the last thing on your mind of possibilities. Sitting in the back of the car as Nayoung claimed she would be picking up her boyfriend on the way. You didn’t mind, if anything you’d be taking the time to catch up on some needed sleep. A large blanket over you, you don’t hear the door to the passenger seat open and close. A smack of lips kissing and a cheerful voice greeting him.

“Is this your friend?” Nodding, she looks back to see you asleep. “Yep, she went back to sleep. She spent all night texting some guy. Kinda starting to think he doesn’t exist.” Raising a brow at her as she whispered the last part. “Whys that?” Shrugging her shoulders, eyes on the road. “She hasn’t mentioned his name, refuses to let me meet him and anytime I ask about him she tries to change the subject.” Jaemin only hums before looking out the window, dark eye bags beginning to become apparent as he too wasn’t exactly in the best mood. His hair was still a bit disheveled and he was only running on two hours of sleep. Guess his girlfriends friend wasn’t the only one up all night texting.

By the time the three of you arrived, you woke up abruptly by the slamming of a door. “Come on y/n we’re here!” You hear Nayoung shout from outside. Stretching and getting out, you’re left with carrying in the rest of the stuff. The cabin was large, only visited a handful of times. Loud voices are heard from the kitchen as Nayoung busies herself greeting the family. Huffing when you drop Nayoung’s heavy luggage inside you bump into someone on accident. “I’m sorry!” Tall and standing before you, Jaemin props his glasses up. Dropping down his bags and sending you a forced smile. “It’s alright.”

“Oh y/n! This is my boyfriend Jaemin!” The two of you freeze. Watching as she walks over to hook her arm around his. A grin on her face as she cuddles close to him. It couldn’t be right? Looking over and seeing he as well seemed tense but he kept a calm face. “H-Hello.” Giggling, she shakes her head. “Always so shy. Jaemin?” Nudging him, he seems to snap out of it. Clearing his throat before doing a quick half assed bow. “Hey.” Looking between the two of you, she makes a face. “Well that wasn’t awkward, anyways. Mom and dad wants to see you so shall we get going? Oh and y/n sorry we didn’t have enough rooms you don’t mind crashing on the couch right?” Shaking your head she smiles. “Great! You can leave your things in my room, you know where they are right?”

Not waiting for a response she drags him into the kitchen where it erupts in greetings. Laughs and giggles are heard, taking a small peek you see her friends are also in there as well. Gawking at him as he respectfully greets them. Sighing, you grab your things and go up the stairs. “Hey y/n do you mind carrying the rest of our luggages? Please, thank you!” Nayoung shouts as you were half way up the stairs.

You felt left out you weren’t going to lie. But then again, when haven’t you. Nayoung has always made it easy to fit in, to make conversation even though most of the time the topic always shifted over to her but overall, it was easy for her to get involved. Not you, it took a while for you to barely start lowering your walls. Just the idea of forcing yourself out of your shell sends shivers. How can you? You get the feeling Nayoung’s childhood friends don’t really like you as they always stare and mutter things under their breaths. And like all the other times you visited, you spent your time on the couch petting the family cat. “I’m so happy he likes you. He hates people, if anything he still isn’t quite fond of Nayoung.” Her mother giggles as she takes the other couch. Staring lovingly at the two of you. A warm smile forms on your face as you continue to pet the cat sitting on your lap. Her husband walking over to sit next to her, a mug in his hand as he nods.

“Toby hates Nayoung for some reason. Even before she went off to college he’d always hide from her.” By then everyone has shifted themselves into the living room. The group surrounding Nayoung, the smile slowly drops when she sees her parents conversing with you. “You must be a gem if Toby trusts you that much.” Her mother claps her hands. Jaemin takes a seat across from you, fighting back the look of boredom on his face. He can’t help but analyze you. Can it be the same y/n he’s been texting? Since he’s arrived, he hasn’t had the balls to text her. There’s no way the chick he’s been sexting is his girlfriends best friend. If that’s the case, he’s screwed.

A scoff is heard from beside him, looking up and see Nayoung enter the living room. “He’s just a dumb cat. I’m sure he’s only using you as a cushion.” “Well if that’s the case, I’m honored.” You smile down at the cat who purrs. Jaemin notices the scowl on his girlfriends face. He wonders why, it’s not like she particularly likes Toby. Every time he’s come over she’s always going on and on about how the cat terrorizes everything. “You should be, and Jaemin too! Toby loves him!” Looking up and meeting eyes with Jaemin you gulp before looking down. A silence is met before Nayoung speaks up. “Well it’s still pretty early and I’m tired. Jaemin lets go to bed.” One by one, everyone walks off to their bedrooms which leaves you on the couch with the grey and white cat. Head butting your hand, a few hours go by and you haven’t gotten the heart to move him. The sleep drowsiness has disappeared and you made due on being on your phone for the time being. A notification is sent from your phone, Jaemin.

It’s you isn’t it?

I don’t know what you’re talking about..

“Yes you do.” Jumping up, you see him standing at the bottom of the stairs. “Holy shit you scared me.” By the sudden jolt, Toby has taken it upon himself to get off your lap and plop down on his cat tree. Walking closer to you, you shift uncomfortably. You don’t know what to do, what can you do to make things better?

Silently getting closer, you open your mouth to explain yourself but he cuts you off. Instead he takes a seat besides you and smashes his lips on top of yours. A moan emits from you, it was quick and needy and you liked it. You liked it so much you even climbed on top of him. His arms coming around your waist to pull you closer. He smelled nice, his cologne hitting your nostrils and lips were soft and plump. Cupping his face to keep his lips on top of yours. A smile forming on his face before pulling away, “So you were the one teasing me huh?” A blush began to form on your face before awkwardly laughing. “So you’re my best friends boyfriend huh.” Clearing his throat he looks down uncomfortably. “Listen, I’m not the type to cheat okay? It’s just that I kinda had no choice but to be in a relationship with her and-“

“She trapped you yeah I know, she has done that with all of her exes.” Raising a brow he looks up at you. “Really?” Nodding, you sigh. “She can’t keep a man for the life of her so she forces one on them by using her father to get them to agree. He’s rich and powerful, wouldn’t be surprised he’d have you kicked out of college or have you be fired from your job. Blacklisted for any future opportunities and more.” “If I’d known earlier I would’ve tried avoiding crossing paths. Why are you friends with her?”

“I don’t know, I guess she was the only one who stayed.” “Stayed? What happened if I may ask.” “I don’t know, one second I had tons of friends who could rely on me and the next, I was hated.” You look down sadly. Startled when he plants a kiss on your cheek, a grin on his face as his eyes adoringly stare at you. “I’m glad I finally met you.” “I’m glad too-“. Reciprocating his kiss, you begin to grind on top of him. A groan from him only has you doing it again and again. Pushing him down on the couch as his hands roam all over your body. Piece by piece, clothes are scattered on the floor and heavy breathing gets louder. Your head is thrown back when you feel yourself stretch around him. A large hand going to cover your mouth. Leaning in, his mouth attaching itself onto your nipple and sucking. Sensitive, you begin to bounce on his lap. Hands on his chest as he guides you to go faster. Trying to keep the slapping sounds at bay. The feeling of him deep in your snatch had your head spinning, it truly has been a while since you’ve had sex. It was wrong that the first person you sleep with is your best friends boyfriend but you just love it so much.

And it seems you’re not the only one. For the remainder of the weekend the two of you have gotten closer. Sneaky glances thrown and secret meet ups. When in the kitchen alone, he smacks your ass before leaving a kiss on your cheek. A shit eating grin on his face when he meets with the others. Content he’s finally getting you back for all the teasing you’ve done. “Are you alright y/n? Your face is super red?” Nayoung’s mother says. “Probably a bad reaction to one of her creams. I keep telling her she doesn’t have to keep putting on so many products. Going natural is just as pretty.” Nayoung sends you a smile. Speaking up for you, a strong grip on your fork, you don’t bother to explain yourself. “I’m okay.”

Jaemin certainly didn’t like it. And he certainly didn’t like how easily you let her comment slide. “I try to say the same thing to you as well Nayoung. No reason you need fifty bottles of foundation. A day or two without it wouldn’t hurt babe.” He sends her a smile before taking a bite from his food. Tensing, Nayoung is left without words. Embarrassed by the looks her friends sends her. A scowl on her face as she desperately tries to change the subject. “So! Should we hit the beach later on?” “Yes!” Her friends clap. “Okay good! After we’re done we’ll pick out our bikinis!”

Bikini’s? Nayoung never mentioned there would be swimming involved? You didn’t even pack any clothes to get wet in. The closest thing you had were shorts and even then they weren’t comfortable to get wet with.

“It’s a bummer you can’t get in.” Nayoung pouts at you, watching you set your towel on the sand. Sunglasses on as you send her a reassuring smile. “Eh it’s okay, I’ve gotten too much sun anyways-“. “Yeah you’re looking a little dark, how about you stay under my moms umbrella for the time being okay? Hope you don’t get too bored!” She says before scurrying off to her friends. Clenching your jaw, you try to not let her words affect you. Has she always been this snakey? Or is this you trying to justify your actions for hooking up with her boyfriend. Surely she must’ve always been this terrible to you from the beginning.

“Come on.” “Huh?” Looking over and seeing Jaemin has his hand extended you raise a brow. “Where?” “Less questions and more walking, come on.” Allowing him to drag you away, he takes you to a near by store. “Bikini’s?” “Get one, it’s on me.” “You don’t need to-“ “I want to, besides I need to get sunscreen.” He wonders off for it, and as he does so you look around the store. Eyes straying on a red two piece, you go to the fitting rooms and liking the look of it on you. Getting out, Jaemin freezes when he sees you. “How do I look?” Checking to see if anyones watching, he pushes you inside and closes the door behind him. Dropping the bottle of sun cream and picking you up. Leaning you up against the wall he desperately connects your lips with his. Running a hand through his hair, he begins to dry hump you. A moan comes out of you that he muffled with his mouth. A hand coming to wrap around your neck and lightly squeeze. “Fuck you’re so hot.” His pupils dilated as he leans in and press kisses to your chest.

Pulling the top down to reveal your perky tits. Sucking and fondling with them, looking to the side and seeing the mirror reflecting the lewd actions he’s doing. “We should get going, don’t want to raise suspicion.” You tell him with heavy breathing. Reluctantly detaching himself from you and setting you down. “Don’t change.” Grabbing your clothes and lotion, the two of you walk out and make your way to the counter. Ripping off the tag and handing it to the cashier as he pays for it. By the time the two of you make your way back, you hear shouting. “Babe where have you been?” Nayoung gets closer. “Needed sunscreen and got y/n a bathing suit.” Eyes turning to look at you, the plastic smile ready to falter. “Oh! How nice..well come on let’s get in the water feels nice!” She goes for his hand but he takes a step back.

“Yeah I will in a bit, you should join the others they seem pretty lost with out you.” Looking back and seeing her friends looking bored without her. “Oh okay. Glad you can join us after all y/n.” She sends you a smile before going back in. Feeling a tug, you look down and see Jaemin had taken his shirt off. “Help me put sunscreen on yeah?”

You can practically feel the daggers being thrown at you. But you ignored it, you liked making her jealous. A part of you felt proud you had the upper hand than Nayoung. Even more that it’s with her boyfriend. Turning around, you put some on his chest. Running your hands over his abs, his eyes looking directly into yours. “I really badly need to fuck you.” Rolling your eyes, you go to walk away but he stops you. “Now y/n.”

“Are you seeing this?” One of Nayoung’s friends says as they all watch Jaemin slowly put on sunscreen on you. Going up your leg and too close to your ass. “I knew it was a mistake to introduce them.” She scoffs. “Come on hun, do you really think he’ll do anything with her?” “It’s not him I’m worried, poor girl is so deprived I worry she’ll do anything for attention.” She pouts. “Don’t worry, Jaemin’s too smitten for you. He’d never be unfaithful to you.” Smiling she turns over to her friends. “Thanks guys, besides we’re really strong.” “So strong that should we assume he’ll pop the question anytime soon?”

Nodding they squeal. “I’m sure he already has the ring set out for me.” She claps her hands.

“Jaemin anyone can walk in on us any second!” You smack Jaemin’s bicep, currently in a dark small closet the cabin had he had managed to cramped you two inside. It was loud outside, music blasting as the others conversed with one another. Luggages were being packed and dinner was being cooked. In a few hours you were meant to be making your way back home and instead, have a clingy boy stuck to your side. A grin on his face as he leans in and kisses you. “Need you…” he pouts as he nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck. Hands beginning to roam down your side and to your back. Biting your lip when you feel him squeeze your ass, gasping when you feel his bulge after he pulled you closer to him.

“No one will hear us mhm?” He breathes in your ear as he peppers your neck. Massaging your cheeks as he has you pinned against the wall. You can’t ignore the arousal in your pants but it didn’t stop you from worrying of being potentially caught. “No sir.” Pushing him away, you reach for the door knob. Feeling him pull you inside again roughly when Nayoung’s faint voice was heard going up the stairs. “I have no idea where he went.” She tells her friends. “I bet he’s with y/n again. They have been way too close.” “I’m sure he feels bad, I mean she is the odd one out.” Nayoung reasons. “She’s a loner Nayoung, girls like her use that to reel men in.” Clenching your jaw, you don’t notice Jaemin wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Ignore them.” He whispers into your ear. Once you were sure they had left, you don’t utter a word and merely walk out. Leaving him in the closet by himself.

Nayoung always assumed she’d be the first to seal the deal between the two of you. The first to have a boyfriend, to be engaged and to start a family. Unlike her, you didn’t grow up with a lot so she always had more than you. The advantages like starting her own independent life. You had to start from scratch, lots of hours working for you to save. It’s what the world admired about you. It’s what they respected you for, many could relate to you. And even through all the hardships you still smiled. You stayed optimistic and it’s why you had so many friends, why so many guys wanted your number instead of Nayoung’s.

“I’m sorry I’m not interested.” “Actually I wanted to see if you can give me your friend, y/n’s number.”

For a while it seemed like Nayoung was the forgotten one. It was all about her friend Y/n. What you were up to, how you were doing. She just wanted to see what the fuss was about in having so many people care about you. So the cosmetics came in, then the surgeries, the hard diets. But when they weren’t enough, the lies came in.

“Oh sure, but I have to say she’s currently going through something. Chlamydia actually.”

She didn’t mean for the lies to keep progressing but she just wanted to take some of the attention off you and divert it over to her.

“She thinks you’re a freak.”

She did feel bad though when people eventually began to hate you. And before she knew it, she was the only friend you had left. Boys avoided you and girls despised you. Your last boyfriend only cheated on you because Nayoung lied to him saying you had cheated on him.

“I guess she thought you just weren’t good enough, I don’t know what to tell you. But, if I were her I would know I made a big mistake. You’re a catch.” Her hand lays on top of his, a reassuring and innocent smile plastered on her face before leaning in and kissing him.

For years now she was finally on the other end, the one who everyone praised and idolized. And a part of her liked how she can control you, it felt nice to be better for once. And seeing how close you and Jaemin have gotten definitely hasn’t been putting her at ease.

During dinner she made sure Jaemin sat next to her and away from you. Served him and kissed him at unconventional times. By the end of the night it seemed she was utterly in love with him, which is why she just had to rub it in just a little deeper into your face. “I’m going to tell him I love him.” Taking you by surprise, you suppress any distasteful emotion. “That’s great! I’m sure he’ll feel the same.” He won’t. You’re sure of that. “I want to live with him y/n.” Widening your eyes, “Live together? But what about dorms? It’s still mandatory to be in one and you can’t exactly room with a guy.”

“Only for a few more months.” Sighing and sitting back on the couch she smiles dreamily. “I’m telling you, he’s the man of my dreams.” You didn’t have much to say. Which only made you more guilty with how you’ve been treating her behind her back. It seemed she really did like him, after all she has been stuck by your side when everyone else turned against you. “Then tell him how you feel.”

“We can’t keep doing this.”

It’s been three months since the visit to Nayoung’s parents. Three months since you said you’d stop hooking up with him and finally today you’d be calling it off. “Like hell you are, what the hell y/n. Where is this coming from?” A duvet wrapped around your body, you sit up on the bed. Messy hair with smeared makeup as you don’t even dare meet eyes with Jaemin. With only briefs on, he gets out of bed. Disheveled hair, muscles more prominent and the red marks you left on him still apparent. Lip stains on his neck with dark love marks going down his collar bone. A frown on his face as he demands an explanation, even when he’s upset he’s still breathtakingly attractive. “It’s not right.” A sarcastic laugh falls out of his mouth as he searches for his clothes.

“You’re finally realizing that after months?” Looking at you for any other answers, he drops his shirt on the bed and climbs back on. Cradling your face, he looks at you worriedly. “Talk to me baby, what’s wrong?” Feeling the tears beginning to form, you shrug him off. You don’t trust your voice, there’s a ball beginning to form and you know if you dare speak a work you’ll only sob. About to get out of bed, he grabs you by the waist. “No, you’re not running way again. Talk to me-“ “Jaemin you’re in a relationship with Nayoung! She loves you and even wants to live with you and here we are having sex!”

“She’s not you!” Looking away, he huffs and wraps his arms around your torso. “I love you.” Taken by surprise, you turn to face him with wide eyes. “Come again?” “I’ve never said that to any of my exes, and it sucks that this is the situation that we are in but, im not lying. I love you, not Nayoung. It’s why I didn’t say it back when she said it to me.”

“Really?” Smiling, he nods and leans in for a kiss you grant him happily. “I still think it’s wrong. Maybe if we confess then she will let you go. Yeah it will permanently ruin our friendship but you at least deserve your freedom.” Shaking his head he sighs. “It’s her father i’m worried for.” Feeling dejected, you let him pull you into a cuddle. Back under the sheets as he peppers your face in kisses. Until there’s a loud slam on the door, eyes widening Jaemin lifts a finger to his mouth. Your door was locked thankfully.

“Let me check if she’s home…hey y/n! You home?!” Knocking on the door and trying to open it but to no avail. Shaking his head, he covers your mouth. “Guess she’s not home.” She says, she must’ve brought someone. Getting up to change, you can’t but overhear her speak.

“Can’t believe you’re still friends with her after everything she did.” Confused, you lean your ear up gassing the door. “Well I mean, she’s my best friend-“ “Yes but she cheated on her boyfriend.”

Cheated?

“She didn’t know what she was doing.”

Why the hell is Nayoung agreeing?

“Yeah well what about her bullying you?”

You looked back at Jaemin in shock as he as well seems surprised.

“That was years ago, she’s getting better.”

You didn’t understand why Nayoung was agreeing with such false claims. You have never cheated on your boyfriend nor have you ever bullied Nayoung.

“Well at least she got her karma right?” The girl snorts. “Getting chlamydia, having all the guys lose interest in her and having no friends- well except you. I must say I admire you. I don’t know how you put up with such a mess.”

“I try my hardest.” You hear her giggle. “She’s a loner and a social freak, the least I could do is make sure she has at least a companion or who knows she might just end it all.” “Are you saying she’s suicidal?” “I’m saying who knows! You never know what people are thinking now a days.”

Your heart broke. All those accusations weren’t real and to think more people thought they were true hurt even more. You didn’t even realize you began to cry until you felt Jaemin wipe a tear away. They chatted for a few minutes before leaving and by then you have sat yourself down against the door. “Why would she lie?” You ask to no one.

Jaemin stayed quiet. Arms crossed and a clenched jaw, he immediately understood what Nayoung had done. “Isn’t it obvious?” Looking up at him with red swollen eyes you shake your head. “She spread false rumors about you!” “What why?”

“Come on baby.” Crouching down, he pulls a strand of hair behind your ear. “You’re gorgeous, sweet, smart. You’re everyone’s type.” “Are you saying she did it out of jealousy?” Scoffing you shake your head. “No, Nayoung is the pretty one. Everyone wants her.” “I don’t. I want you.” “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” You scoff. “Okay then let’s talk to your ex.” “What why?” “Because we both know the cheater in your past relationship wasn’t you.” The memory still hurt. You never did find out who he cheated on you with only that he was ‘much happier’ and that you weren’t shit to him anymore.

“You’re wasting your time.” Shaking his head, he pulls out his phone and begins to search for his account. “What are you planning to do.” “We’re going to pay him a little visit. Come on let’s get dressed.”

“I don’t think this is such a good idea-“ Cutting you off by giving you a kiss, he gives you a smile. “Just hold my hand, he does anything to hurt you I promise I’ll kick his ass.” Walking into the cafe, you immediately spot your ex. Deep eye bags adorned his face, his hair was longer and dead. He looked much scrawnier and almost exhausted even. Taking a seat in front of you, you don’t have the words to even greet him.

“Y/n. Jaemin.” He speaks.

“What can i do for you.”

“The truth.” Jaemin cuts to the chase. Quirking his brow, he leans forward. “The truth?” “Who did you sleep with?” Jaemin tells him sternly. Scoffing, he chuckles dryly and shakes his head. “Why am I hearing an accusingly tone. Shouldn’t we start with who y/n slept with first?”

“I didn’t sleep with anyone.” You speak up.

“Right. Like I believe that-“

“Did Nayoung tell you anything.” Jaemin cut him off. “Nayoung helped me realize I was wasting my time on her.” He glares at you. “Did she tell you she was cheating?” Staying quiet, his face falls. “Why do you care?…wait aren’t you her boyfriend.” His jaw clenched and he sits up straighter.

“So you’re the guy she dumped me for.” Eyes widening, you look at him. “Nayoung was the girl you slept with?” Scoffing he shakes his head. “I didn’t sleep with her we only kissed.” He huffs. “She told me you cheated on me, she comforted me and we kissed. She had me to believe she wanted to be with me but when I broke things off with you she ghosted me.” The two of you send each other looks, “Why? Was that not what really happened?…”

You felt betrayed. You wonder how long has it been since she’s been a snake to you.

“She told me you kissed my boyfriend.”

“She said you had chlamydia.”

“I heard her say you were mentally unstable.”

You wanted to believe it was all a lie but it made sense why everyone suddenly avoided you like the plague. No one daring to befriend you or ever ask you out. You were sure you’d die a loner if it wasn’t for Nayoung and now you come to find out you were put into this situation because of her.

You couldn’t stop your heart from squeezing in agony. The friend you considered a sister you cared for so deeply had ruined your life out of what? Spite? Jealousy? Fun even?

The guilt you had building in you disintegrated almost instantly. You don’t have quite the perfect idea as to how you plan on getting even with her, how you’re going to help Jaemin get out of his god forsaken relationship with her, how you’re going to let the world know just how a trashy person she really is but you do know one thing, if you’re going to keep sleeping with her boyfriend you’re going to do it without a care in the world. Holding hands together literally behind her back when the three of you go out for ice cream, his subtle hand on your thigh when you go to the movies. The glances you give one another when you two had no other choice but to be dragged by her at a fancy restaurant with friends. Having sex in the parking lot after making an excuse to leave early. Making out while she’s showering and even sexting each other with her around. You no longer cared, and instead it made you just a tiny bit better knowing Nayoung no longer had it all,

“They completely cut me out and I don’t know why! Can you believe that?! After everything I did for them they have the audacity to treat me like dirt? And that’s not even mentioning the weird looks I’ve been receiving from guys. It’s like I’m infected or something.” No but rumors are you caught a case of syphilis

BUZZ…

Come over, I need you now.

Photo Sent

You were finally taking your life back from her. Piece by piece.

#nct x reader #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct smut #nct reactions #jaemin nct #nct jaemin imagines #jaemin scenarios #jaemin smut #nct jaemin #nct dream imagines #nct dream #nct dream angst #nct dream smut #nct jeno #nct haechan #jisung nct

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sinimake · 5 months

Text

More Johnshi head canons!! (Thanks for enjoying the previous one)

Johnny's absolute favorite movie is a low-budget indie movie made by some students he once saw in a film festival as a pure serendipity. He never mentions this to anybody and usually says one of his own movies as his fav whenever he's asked

Kenshi is very good at apologies and owning up to his mistakes. Like he would list what he has done wrong, acknowledge the other's hurt feelings, and make change not to repeat his mistakes.

Johnny is an absolute perfectionist when it comes to his films. It is a nightmare to work with him on the sets bc he grinds scenes for an unnecessary amount of time until it satisfies him. But it's rectified by the fact he buys the crew lots of snacks, lunch, and drinks. Sometimes, he even comes in the morning with personalized coffees for everyone. It is so cute bc he has notes on his phone filled with people's preferences jotted down

Kenshi with a white cane ! More !!

Kenshi secretly likes doing blind jokes. He even sets people up for them to slip like "omg did u see that" and he be there like "no I'm blind"

Kenshi sleeps on his stomach sideways with his knee bent up, and Johnny sleeps on his back. They fit just right together

Kenshi uses Sento's power for all the wrong reasons in bed. There's always later awkwardness with his ancestors, but the sight of Johnny's blessed out o face makes everything so worth

Speaking of Sento, Johnny likes when Kenshi uses his telepathy on him. He can tell when his boyfriend is in his head by the pleasant tingling in the back of his mind. While Kenshi can't passively read every thought, but Sento helps him feel Johnny's emotions and sensations. Johnny loves to send him 'good vibes'

They are not mentally connected all the time, but they use telepathy during missions and in battle like a comm. Kenshi pays Johnny extra mind to be ready to help him if he needs it

Kenshi might not be fond of PDA but he's an absolute sweetheart behind the doors. Backhugs, kiss on neck and nape, arm around waist, caressing his hair and cheeks, holding hands, you name it, he likes to touch Johnny at every opportunity

On the flip side, Johnny must grope and slap Kenshi's ass playfully

Kenshi uses Johnny's home gym more than anyone and likes to hike around nature

Johnny knows Kenshi doesn't like social media so he only posts pics of Kenshi that doesn't show his face. When Johnny does live video, Kenshi sometimes talks to him in the background, and the fans absolutely love them together.

^ *bantering* K: well, why dont you say it to my face huh? J: *looks at him biting his lips* *then to camera* okay guys i gotta go *end of live stream*

When they got engaged, Johnny posted the ring on his finger on insta with a caption saying "Real Mr. Internation Love now ❤️"

#mk1 2023 #johnshi #johnny cage #johnny x kenshi #kenshi takahashi #mk1 #mortal kombat #mortal kombat 2023 #johnshi headcanon

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sofia-cloud · 9 months

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Hey!! Do u mind writing a spider noir x fem reader (they live in the same universe) where the reader and Peter are already dating but he decides to confess that he’s spider man to her? Btw i absolutely love ur work! Stay safe and make sure to take breaks <3 (also sorry if this Req doesn’t make any sense I tried my best to explain it 😭😭)

UHM HELLO?!? THATS SUCH A GOOD IDEA WDYM??😻

— love you more ᥫ᭡.

- pairing: Spider-Noir x fem!reader

❀˖° contents: pure fluff, peter is so lovely, dating, hugging, praising, pet names.

❀˖° summary: reader and peter are dating since few months, then peter decides to tell reader his identity, there are alot of emotions going on through the story.

❀˖° notes: sorry if this too long but noir is something else ya know 𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒

You and Peter have been dating for 2 months now, you are very comfortable with him and he is always comfortable with you.

Since yall date you do nothing but think about him, you can't get him out of your head, the way he talks to you, how he smiles at you, how he holds your hand when you go on a date, he was simply perfect for your eyes, your love for him grew more and more and didn't slow down.

One day he invited you to the movies with him, you accepted of course, you wanted to spend as much time as possible with him.

When you got to the cinema he hadn't arrived yet, maybe he was late you thought, but 15 minutes passed and there was no sight of him yet.

When you're almost resigned, you hear someone in the distance calling your name, you turn around to see who he is and it was Peter yelling at you to wait for him from afar.

“ 'm sorry, i had an unforeseen event and..” Peter said trying to catch his breath.

“Its okay, dont worry 'bout me, worry about the movie” you said as the movie had already started 20 minutes ago.

“I see, so you wanna go home or do you want to see another movie?” He told you with a sorry look, he really didn't want to be late on a date with you, but unfortunately his other life as a spider noir didn't give him any choices.

“Well, I want to spend time with you so it's okay if we see another movie” you replied by putting your hand on his shoulder smiling at him.

He nodded and then you entered the cinema.

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

“That was a good movie,” you said giggling a little and holding his hand.

“Yeah, it was for sure,” he replied with a smile back.

He accompanied you home while the sun was setting, you had spent a good time with him, and he also did with you.

The more time passes, the closer you get and feel that you have more and more feelings.

The dates continued, but it must be said that he arrived 70% of the time late, you didn't understand why he always arrives 15 or 20 minutes after the time you gave yourself, if it didn't suit him then he could tell you but he didn't.

Peter doesn't want you to think that for him you go in the background or that you're not important enough to him, unfortunately he doesn't decide when the city needs him, there is one and only spider noir in the world, and it was him.

Precisely for this reason, he thought a lot about the decision to tell you his identity, you were the person he trusts the most, and he can't keep hiding it from you, he doesn't want you to come up with bad ideas, he felt comfortable with you, he doesn't want to ruin the relationship you have created in these months.

At this point he prefers to let you know now, he doesn't want it to be too late to tell you.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“Can I come over, my love?” He told you on the phone.

“Yeah sure, there's something wrong?” You answered him, noticing that he was nervous by his voice.

“I needa tell you something really important” he only answered you this and attacked.

What does he mean by this? Did something happen between us? Lately I see him a bit in his thoughts, maybe he wants to tell me the reason why he's been behaving like this lately. These were your thoughts when he told you this, you were afraid to know but you were also impatient, you wanted to know so bad the reason, but at the same time you were nervous.

“Sorry dove, I really need to go” he told you as he put his jacket back on and got out of his chair.

“But u said we'll go to-“ you tried to answer, a little disappointed with his behavior, but you were stopped by him,

“I promise one day i'll explain you everything, just remember that I love you” he told you softly as he stroked your cheek with his hand, then gave you a kiss in the head and said you goodbye.

Damn it, you couldn't get mad at him, he was so sweet and adorable with you, whatever he's going through you would have listened and tried to understand him, he's not the type to leave this way for nonsense, if he has to leave it will be for a good reason.

And he knew you trusted him, that you would wait for him, that you would give him time to confess everything to you, by now he no longer needed to say to leave, you understood him immediately when he made that sincerely sorry look.

“Love, i-“ he tried to tell you while you were having dinner at your house, he took a look at the window, he always gave a look at the window before leaving, you didn't understand why but it didn't matter.

“You can go babe” you told him as you smiled softly at him and put your hand on his arm.

There was no reason to get angry, you trusted him a lot, you know he would never lie to you, you know he would never let you down, that's why you didn't ask where he was going, you had to wait for him, you always tried to put him at ease and he did the same, your esteem for each other was very high.

“Youre the best” smiled back at you as you saw him walk out the door.

The steps were fast, the breath accelerated, nervous look, sweaty hands and lost in the thoughts, am I really going to tell her that i am spider noir? How will she react? That I'm just a liar? A guy who deceives people for fun? These were Peter's thoughts on his way to your house, you were both agitated, you didn't know what the other would say and react, the fear was high but the patience is no less.

You heard three knocks on the door, got up quickly, opened the door and Peter had a nervous look in his face. He could say the same for you, he wanted to greet you but no sound came out of his throat, he kept telling himself to take courage.

“Hey, you good darling?” You said, noticing that he was nervous, so you tried to calm him down by putting one hand on his shoulder.

“Hi dove, yeah im good.. What 'bout you” he tried to create a normal conversation, hoping to improve the situation for whatever reaction you would have.

“Im great too, so are you gonna tell me?” You answered while you invited him to sit on the couch with you.

He accepted your request and sat down next to you, you looked at him, waiting for an answer, and the only one you wanted was a yes.

“Yeah, but promise me you won't be disappointed or angry with me love,” he told you, looking into your eyes in a deep, sweet voice towards you.

“Of course babe, ill never get mad at you, you know that” you said as you smiled softly to put him at ease, you weren't a touchy person, so you know you wouldn’t.

“Okay then.. you know when i kept going away without giving you a good reason, or when i arrived late at our dates? Well, theres a big reason, really big.” he communicated to you in a sincere and serious voice.

He was waiting for your reaction, with that he didn't want to worry, he meant that he would never send you into the background for something unimportant, you were too important to him, so he preferred to tell you now, hoping it wasn't too late.

“Love you know you can tell me everything and i will always understand you, whatever is the reason, even if is the craziest reason, ill always be on your side” you answered softly, damn if he loved you so much.

“Even the craziest reason? Even if im.. spider noir?” He didn't even know with what courage he said it, his heart accelerated the beat, waiting for some significant reaction from you.

“What?..” your reaction was shocked, but it wasn't clear whether it was positively or negatively shocked, so he kept saying,

“ i know you think im joking or lying but its the true, and i wanted to tell you now because i was scar-“ tried to say but was stopped by you,

“This is..” you kept looking at it with the same expression as before,

“Please trust m-“ was stopped a second time, when you suddenly hugged him, he opened his eyes wide at first, confused by your sudden gesture of affection, so it meant that you were neither angry nor disappointed , his heart began to calm down, and Peter found himself at ease so he returned the hug, still slightly confused.

“Amazing. This is amazing Peter” you said as you held him tighter against you.

“I love you more than anything, remember that.” he told you, as you continued to hug.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

The next few months Peter and you were still in love if not more. Now that you know that he is spider noir, he often carries you in his arms, while admiring the city at night, Peter stopped over a skyscraper.

“The moon is beautiful, isnt it?” You said as the full moon lit up your face beautifully, you looked like an angel in Peter's eyes.

“But you're definitely prettier dove” he confessed to you as he sat on the edge of the skyscraper, you sat next to him, and rested your head on his shoulder.

“Love you, Peter.” you answered almost whispering,

“I love you more.”

reblog and comment if ya like💓

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c0ffinshit · 1 year

Text

Smut/Romantic Headcanons: Robert Renfield

a/n: ok so i saw this movie recently and i have brain rot so enjoy a collection of my thoughts. this is the first time i've done something like this so be nice warnings: bottom renfield, smutty (shut up i had to)

if you two have a big fight, he will bring you your favorite flowers and a hand-written note, saying how much he loves u

uses a ton of pet names... but like... not normal ones

"my intended" "moll" LIKE he means well but like... girl...

also a BIG fan of cuddles

he is a touchy boy and wants a hug

would try a learn a language for you (maybe french or german? idk just vibes)

the KING of big romance moments

like this man will cook dinner AND run a bath for you if you had a stressful week

the farmer's market is the most common location for dates

ok idk this one is a semi-romance one but he HATES horror movies (but loves them cuz he gets to cuddle with you if he or you get scared)

he would meet and greet all of your stuffed animals (if you have them) and then refer to them by name when talking to/about them

HE'S SUCH A GOOD KISSERRRRR

like he is always kissing you and hugging you

WRAPS HIS ARMS AROUND YOUR WAIST. I'M TELLING YOUUUUUUU

he would def run thru an airport just to get you your passport or a snack

he is always doting on you (esp when you are sick)

enjoys seeing broadway shows with you

loves when you laugh at his stupid jokes (he is a vadition SLUT)

ok this is stupid but i believe renfield is taylor swift fan (not a swiftie, just casual fan)

his fav is either lover or red (taylor's version)

the king of talking out your feelings

you're upset? why? what can he do to make you feel better?

he wants to know it ALL

smut warning if you dont wanna read

okay straight off the bat, HUGE dick

like 9 inches type of beat

and omg is he gentle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"i want to go slow... i want it to be special"

AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHH renfield def whimpers

and cries after sex

you are just so pretty and hot and sexy that he can't help it

one word. edging.

edging is the only thing that he does to get his share of the power

and sometimes... he abuses it til you are a whiny, moaning mess

his fav position is CEO (aka he is BEGGING to be topped)

but fr his fav position is one where he can see your face

he literally can't come without looking at you or a picture of you looking at the camera

if you say something while looking into his eyes, he’s coming immediately

literally you could say “did you get peanut butter at the store today?” and he would creampie

there is so much he's into but he's scared to bring it up at first cuz he doesn't want you to break up or think he's weird

will wanna play music

but then you find out that it's just the phantom of the opera soundtrack

but like... he makes it so romantic?

this big ass organ playing in the background as renfield is fucking sideways

two words. HOLIDAY SEX.

this man wanna make christmas, easter, and your birthday the most fuckable days ever

"you want me to do what?" (renfield anytime you explain something you wanna try)

okay this is JUST based on vibes but i think renfield would be into roleplay (no, i will not elaborate)

#renfield 2023 #renfield movie #renfield #nicholas hoult #renfield spoilers #the great hulu #nicholas hoult x reader

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lemongogo · 6 months

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what's your process for coloring like? the look of that elendira is so textured and interesting, i can't figure out how you do it

AA THANK YOUU ^__^ !! textures & brushwork are my favorite things abt my art, so im happy you find it interesting hehe . its SOO cool to look at & so much fun to draw imo

i prefer to color by building in layers , if that makes sense 🤔!! hundreds of them !! such that i'm always drawing on Top of previous layers, working from big & messy blocks of color to, eventually, small and refined blocks of color until it feels processed enough. as a result, i rarely ever erase (!!) and i rarely ever draw lineart aside from the initial sketch

a rough, patchy textured brush is key here, as it'll give you dimension and variability w/ your colors. i recommend "Brush and various sets of fountain pen style (万年筆風ブラシと色々セット)" on Clip Studio (ID: 1679706) !! :3

im terrible with explanations though, so i'm going to show a step by step of that elendira drawing if you dont mind :3

sketch layer !! because i mostly render through color alone, i try to make this as close to the finished thing as possible . ^__^ i hateee drawing the same thing over and over and like the expressivity and movement of my sketches anyways , so the more i can preserve at this step, the better. if u were to look at a side by side of my sketches and finished pieces, youd notice a lot of those og lines are present in the final drawing :3

2. flats !! pretty self explanatory, but the solid background gives me an idea of where the figure begins & ends while the colors themselves help distinguish whats what . i stick to ambient lighting @ this point because im usually not sure what i want to do with the overall palette or lighting yet . having two tones (ex, dark and light in her hair or dark and light on her skin) can also help in identifying key features early on that u wanna preserve. as you build layer by layer, sometimes these areas will remain untouched and i think it makes for a rly lovely feel at the end

3. start blocking !!! to be totally honest with you, i dont really know what i do here HAHAHA. like i just scribble the shit out of it, usually focusing on what i might want to do with lighting (ex: grey areas to accentuate folds in her costume). i think i like to start "erasing" the sketch where possible by coloring on top of it .. like if you look at her hat or her arm , you can tell i'm starting to get a sense of the shapes i like vs the ones i dont. it's at this point that the final image starts to emerge in my mind , like im gradually pulling her from a tarpit of scribbles until shes recognizable lol. chipping away at the marble until i can free her. tbh.

4. keep blockingg...when u think u are done , block some more . as you can probably see, the brushwork becomes more intentional as i add more shape, with specific focus on line weight. this is also where the patchiness of that textured brush comes in - notice how none of the colors seem totally uniform (ex: the red cross or the original sketchlines for her waist). you can see bits and pieces of the layers underneath pushing through and i really like that !! ^__^ its very fun and sketchy to me, so i try to keep them around. those areas are also great to colorpick from, because it'll give you "new" colors to work w/ that are already part of your palette.

5. GRADIENTS & GRADIENT MAPS !! TONE CURVE !! COLOR PICKER !! this is the best stage tbh. flatten your image so its all on one layer and just go crazy with all the color settings in ur program. add gradient layers and set them to darken, or overlay, or subtract, orrr. lighten or dodge glow or divide or soft/hard light.! OR!! edit the hue, saturation, luminosity and contrast.and then color pick from these edits, block even more on top of ur image, flatten, color edit again, etc. etc. until u feel satisfied.

ANYWAYSS . i hope that makes sense @__@ sry i wrote this out and deleted it like 23 times trying to make it make More sense but thats what ive got HAHA i hope its useful though :3 !

#SRY I STRUGGLED 2 EXPLAIN THIS #dude its like my brain bcomes stuffed w/ cotton anytime i try 2 write #i hope it makes sense tho..#it also probably sounds so redundant to make new layer one after the other for just a few brushstrokes #but those brushes i linked have a multiply property so if you draw on top of prev lines they'll create dark patches #and so if im working over a large area ill generally need like . 5 layers each with one brushstroke :sob: if that makes sense #this one had . 84 i think. total. layers i mean. the merylvash one had 300+ HAHAH so it rly depends #like YEAAH i could just use a normal brush but i really like the way this looks #andd sometimes the multiply function works really well or will give me the proper shadow tone im looking for #anywas.wanywaysn anyways #asktag #anonymous #long post

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streaminn · 1 year

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Tongues & Teeth I (wenclair)

lil au where its after season one and semester break, more explanation in my past posts tbh but essentially Enid feels like she’s doesn’t deserve to be standing by Wednesday and does smth about it until some other pack of werewolves come strolling into town.

includes more indepth werewolf lore and mannerism

Perhaps it was the fact that Wednesday finally settled down after the whirlwind of events that is her first semester but she could not help but note that something seemed off.

She curses at herself for feeling so unsettled, you would think being away from the institution she so desperately tried to escape from at the start would be relieving but instead it left her with an irritating tingling underneath her skin and she did not know why.

Was it her abode? No, she did not think so.

Everything seemed the same in the Addams manor: Pugsley’s incessant cheap attempts at assault still lingered every moment, Thing scuttled around like the spy he is and her Parents continue to scorch her eyes with their over the top affections.

(She does not mention that emptiness in her arms, the shiver in her skin everytime she brushes near someone.

Something was wrong and she can not figure out why.

Perhaps she is ill?)

It is when she goes to visit the town's mall for a family outing, two weeks away from Nevermore, that she is sharply reminded of what's missing.

It was the background song of a song that strikes her like a sword. It had a familiar nauseating tune, so loud and so Enid that she had to physically stop at the sudden ache in her chest at the remembrance of her friend.

Oh.

“No wonder,” Wednesday murmurs, pointedly ignoring her Mother’s look.

Enid truly left her mark and to think she had slipped Wednesday’s mind is inexcusable. An Addams always honours their words and distance wasn’t supposed to make her forget.

Safe to say, after some scouring through the brick of a phone for the necessary information, she goes and sends a message.

Wednesday knows that her roommate is a phone addict, always having it on her body when she could and she vaguely remembers how fast it would appear whenever a notification would sound.

She was not unsettled when after an hour or so, no reply had come with her message. She also had not reread her words to make sure she came off wrong.

Enid, How has your early break treated you? It has been a while since we have come in contact and the fault lies with me. I may have forgotten to exchange information when Xavier has gifted me this phone. Do tell me about your recent days. Sincerely, Wednesday Addams.

Was it too blunt? Too sharp, too uncaring?

Wednesday didn’t know and so she settled with ending the night early, anything to pass the churning in her gut.

In the morning, she felt the crawling of bugs scuttling along her stomach when she opened the phone. Her heart felt like the repeating banging of the doorbell as she stood up fully.

Enid Sinclair has sent (6) message.

OMG WEDNESDAY?? THE Wednesday Addams!?

You type like a nerd 😮

Pls dont kill me, this isi all slash jay

Joking! All jokin

My days just go so much better now! Bc leik omg, i genuinely didnt expect this

This is amazing weds im telllin u

It brings something to her face, to see such familiar words. Although some of the diction was confusing, Wednesday chalked it up to being an Enid thing. Just with her words, it's almost like Enid was chattering right away next to her.

Wednesday and Enid continue to text all throughout their break like this. Always in the mornings then picking up in the afternoon. One totally unaware of what is happening to the other.

–

Enid doesn’t frequent the library, simply because it isn’t exactly one of the most well known places in her town. Why was this being brought up? Well her mother kicked her out of the house, murmuring to stay out of trouble because another pack of wolves is coming to town.

It made Enid slouch, a frown on her lips. She’s a little high strung but she doesn’t cause trouble unless someone starts it.

It's not her fault her brothers got too physical, she was just repaying the favour.

So now here she is, in a library. Why is she in the Library? Well, it's because the smell of old books caught her attention. It was so irritating, being so sensitive to smells because holy moly do people stink but here? In the aisles of dusty shelves and old paper, it's almost like she’s standing next to Wednesday again.

A part of her whines at the loss of lavender and ink, that was what's missing. She was missing Wednesday and she got reminded of it when she got her texts just this morning.

God, she really really missed that girl.

Who knew being in such close proximity made her so clingy?

But it's okay! They were texting and omygod does that make her heart race. She could spend her whole day doing this, except Wednesday has stuff to do and she’s left staring at the block of text.

With a sigh, Enid pulls a random book from the shelf, admiring the simple name pressed on its side. Ravens and Wolves, how curious. She was about to open it until the chime of the library bell alerts her to a newcomer.

Normally she wouldn’t really care, a glance maybe and then back to her own world. Until a smell hits her sensitive nose and she staggers back like a newborn deer.

The scent of overwhelming ash fills the building, one that makes her hiss and attempt to plug her nose with a hand. God, these powers! so infuriating. There's something else in the air, something the other wolf is projecting but it's so hard to focus when her eyes are watering.

It's when she sees someone's shoes on the corner of her vision does Enid finally look up. In the sea of overwhelming fear pouring over her head, a flash of confusion and annoyance strikes her brain. Who does this wolf think he is? To corner a teen like this, it almost makes her wonder what Wednesday would do.

Probably stab him but that isn't allowed here.

So her hand tightens on the spine of the book as her body screams at her to run. She does want to follow but a part of her doesn’t want to move and she agrees.

Because honestly, what's with people and prodding and pushing?

She’s just here, trying to read and then some asshole comes to stare her down. This wasn’t just over some book either because she has never felt such curiosity and amusement oozing off someone more than now.

With a frown, Enid places the book back and quickly shuts off her phone before pocketing it. Not liking the way his eyes seem to stare at it for a moment.

He certainly didn’t seem that imposing, but he just had this serial killer vibe that made her give a shaky smile in turn, anything to try and keep the peace. The man just tilts his head in reply, giving a lip closed smile in turn.

It makes the hairs on her neck rise.

Honestly, she would’ve assumed the guy was harmless if it weren't for the amount of edgy vibes wafting off like smoke, just about threatening to choke her out. It claws at her senses and Enid doesn’t know if he’s even doing it on purpose.

It's like the air around him was naturally dense, making it hard to even stand so close.

“So you’re the blood moon pup,” he starts and the mention of that night has Enid growling, eyes narrowed as she stands straight. When had she slouched?

Blood moon this, blood moon that. She doesn’t know much of the significance other than the fact that it's a special night and that her parents told her to be hush about it. The other werewolf gave her side eyes but it never went more than that.

Almost immediately, the air went from slowly suffocating to thick and absolutely choking and Enid swallows on another instinctive growl. Oh shit-

The wolf is still smiling and in fact, it seems to have gotten bigger - amused - but Enid can see the hint of anticipation, of threat in his lips. Her mind screams at that, clawing at her shoulders and she steps back, trying to push down such bothersome instincts.

“Don’t be like that,” he chides, stepping forward as his lips pulled into a showcase of teeth. “I’m just curious about the late bloomer and it's not everyday a pup shifts in a blood moon.”

He says it's important, like a symbolism from some god. Enid is reminded of a delusional preacher at this moment. Honestly she should care about why so many people seem to care about the moon, but there was no point. She could shift now, she could protect now-

That's all that matters.

Protecting what hers.

Protecting Wednesday.

“What about it?” she grits out.

He taps at his cheek and Enid remembers the scar on her face. She has it bared to the world to see, even securing a clip to keep her hair. She should be slouched about it, vanity was all she had before she shifted but now?

It was a trophy, a sign that she had taken care of what's her.

“I simply wonder what a pup like you had to go through to shift on that night,” he murmurs, all easy words and shrugging shoulders. “You’re an abnormality, did you know that?”

Those words nearly make her see red. Abnormal, outcast, not like the rest-

Who is this asshole to think he can say what he wants?

“What about it!?” she barks back, voice rising as she steps forward, ignoring the aching pressure rising in her chest. “I had to fight for someone and I would do it again and again if I had to!”

(Wednesday was choking and so small in that fuckers hands and she never felt such rage before, burning and coiling under her skin.

She blacks out after Wednesday calls for her.

Enid wakes up naked and there's blood under her nails and something sticking onto her throat.)

Her words immediately tempered off as unease began scratching up her spine. Something is screaming at her to shut up, to stay away. Normally she would’ve chalked it out as her instincts being crazy about someone unnecessary but she has never felt like this before and the want to run suddenly comes.

Other packwolves don’t feel like this, not even the pack leader that takes charge of her family. It's like there's a shroud hanging around the wolf’s shoulders, like a curl of death’s veil so ready to swallow her whole.

He’s terrifying, but if there’s one thing Enid is good at, it’s fake it till you make it.

“It's not everyday I meet such a pup with no manners,” he says. “You can call me Romulus and you’re Enid Sinclair, yes?”

“Just Enid,” she chokes out, trying to force down the churning in her stomach. His name rings a few bells and it suddenly hits her. This was the alpha, the pack leader of the wolves visiting. What's the leader doing interacting with a kid like her? “What do you want from me?”

It makes her step back and she watches how the older wolf seems to follow her movements easily, trailing after like a creep until she’s caught against a wall. It makes a sound bubble out from her chest as she scowls.

He laughs, throaty and almost borderline a growl. “Right, sorry Just Enid.” He waves his hand and she watches the tips of sharp nails.

It's not like she can just run, he’s standing at her only exit and despite the pride in her stomach, Enid has no choice but to cower. Her lips pulled back into a snarl and fully unleashed the low growl from her throat.

“So feisty,” he says, giving a lil chuckle.

Romulus laughs, all teeth in display as he leans to meet her eyes. Ice blue, she notes. Similar to hers.

It makes Enid’s face scrunch.

“Is that all you came here to say?” she asks, staring at him with a face completely open to her distaste. She knew other werewolves can be weird as hell, but to think that they were this weird. He looked too calm and if the glimmer in his eyes said anything, entertained as well. Even with her growling, he didn’t seem to take her as a threat.

If he keeps pushing, then she’ll fully fight back. Pack leader or no, no one is going to push her around like this. It's insulting- Wednesday would never stand for this!

It was unnerving. Even the sight of her teeth or claws was enough to make someone pause but not this guy.

“Hmm…” Every bone in Enid's body tensed as the older wolf reached out, and her eyes widened as the hand drew closer to her face. She briefly believed the man was going to destroy her eyes, but instead, he gently plucked at a lock of her coloured hair while twirling his finger over it. "Every other day, go to the library. You're a very interesting kid. I want to know more."

No, no way.

Romulus didn't react negatively to the blatant disrespect; instead, he just hummed softly, his eyes gleaming brightly in the faint light of the building and his face expressionless. Enid would have been concerned, even terrified, but she is too furious to give a damn.

Enough with the passivity, Wednesday would not stand for this stuff any longer!

“Back away! Don't you see how weird you seem right now?” Smacking the hand away from her head, Enid growled. "You're sounding like a creep!"

"I'm the creep?" he laughs. "weren't you the one staring at that gadget off yours? Addams was it?"

Enid felt all of the air leave her lungs, shoulders rising as she tensed up. What did he say?

"What're you trying to imply you sick fuck!?"

She expected a shout back, instead...

For almost three seconds, everything in their small space was silent - aside from Enid's growls - before a louder, more menacing rumbling literally halted the younger blonde in her tracks.

Romulus didn't growl. He wasn't showing teeth, and neither were his lips pushed back. He no longer has that unsettlingly blank expression; instead, a slight smile is pulling at the corner of his lips and he looks pleasantly amused. He doesn't appear to be a threat at all, but the deep rumbling from his chest startled Enid and caused her to spill out a whine before she could control herself. Even though it sounded like a warning rather than a typical growl, this one seemed more like a gentle reprimand aimed to get her to stop acting out without actually scaring her.

That only scared Enid even more.

Enid's eyes widened as her whining subsided, completely dumbfounded by her own response. She was used to being growled at by other pack leaders, who have also warned and scolded her but she's never felt a reaction like that, not even when some of the wolves at school snapped at her in the beginning. Sure, she may have grudgingly stopped, but she never complained and she never caved so quickly. Enid was right. This wolf was a problem; something about him was off; like every part of her knew he wasn't a typical wolf.

“That’s better.” The older blonde cooed, hand reaching forward to comb through the pup’s hair gently and this time Enid was too in shock to slap the hand away. “I assure you, I have no interest in anything like that. Late shifting at a blood moon is particularly odd in my life so I'm curious.” Enid could only weakly glare at the title. “So humour me, you wouldn’t want anything to happen to that…” he seems to humm before giving a smile, all teeth and fangs on display. “Wednesday, right? You should really keep your phone shut, pup.”

“Leave her alone!” She hissed, tone on the verge of sounding desperate and far from the angry, defensive growling from before. She barely got out of a Hyde attack and a part of her fears what will happen if she goes against a whole pack but she isn’t going to turn her back to one person that holds her like she’s precious. “If you think I won't claw your face out simply because you're some bigshot then you're wrong!”

“Then just talk with me, come to the library every other day and i don't need to drag not just your friend but your whole pack." The subtle threat wasn’t even subtle at all and Enid just glared harder. “That’s all I want.” Romulus continues, removing his hand from Enid’s hair and trailing down the side of her face before drawing back.

So she tears her eyes away and nods because fuck, she couldn’t exactly say no, now could she?

She grits her teeth as she searches the other man’s face for a minute, trying to find something, anything, that could show this was a trick. But his expression is frustratingly equal parts soft and terribly amused. There’s no hint of danger nor anger there, even after he growled at Enid, even after the pup had been constantly disrespectful as a way to get the man to just go away.

Enid clenched her hands into fists to stop them from shaking. She was never this violent, never this quick to anger and that made her hesitate, made her think. This is fine, she tries to reassure herself. If she can handle a pompous werewolf, she can handle whatever dumb noble Wednesday’s family could throw at her.

Her scars ache at the touch and it's a reminder of what Enid is willing to do for Wednesday.

“That’s it?” She whispered, the fire burning in her slowing down to ambers.

“That’s it.” The wolf echoed.

#au thoughts #enid sinclair #wednesday addams #wenclair #writing #tongues & teeth au

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vampykween · 5 months

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HI MICCC :3 hope you are well!! i’ve been brainrotting about ur singledad!simon and here’s a list of scenarios nd thoughts that’s been plaguing my mind

what if poppy got into a fight at school? the fight was short because you pulled them apart almost instantly - but she still got her hair pulled and a scratch on her cheek, and poppy knows from simon that fighting isn’t the best option, but when simon answers your call and hears poppy’s crying in the background, how would he react!!

the way kids like to overshare and have no filter, i can see poppy casually telling you stuff like “yeah my daddy has no friends” or “daddy doesn’t talk much”.. and then when simon comes to pick her up, maybe you two have a small convo and you accidentally slip up and mention what poppy’s told you about him.. then he looks and poppy and you like 🤨what else did you hear..

Oklfldldg how does simon do father daughter nights! is he the type to play competitively in games with her or does he always let her win? does he like taking her out to eat or does he prefer cooking at home :3

AAAA okay last one i promise:3 how do the other kids react to poppy’s behemoth of a dad? are they scared? do they think he’s a mafia boss of some sort? or do they find him incredibly awesome and think he’s a giant from those action movies

(ofc u don’t have to do all of them if u don’t want to OR if u don’t want to spoil anything for the series, just some thoughts! take ur time<3)

hi bby! i am very well right now actually and this made things even better, i could kiss your brain truly mwah <3

i will be saving these ideas because this gave me much needed inspiration and motivation for this series. also sorry if i didnt go as in depth with these, but the longer they sat in my drafts i realized i was never going to remember to finish oops! also i hope you dont mind i will be stealing the oversharing poppy idea if fits perfectly with what i have going for part 3 hehe

✴︎ I feel like simon would be fuming, at whom he’s not even sure. I imagine that some kid said something rude and snarky to her and she couldn’t take it anymore and popped on them, and you’re shocked because poppy is normally such a sweet little girl. Simon would definitely hug poppy close because seeing his baby hurt cuts like a knife, takes her out for ice cream and then chides her because omg! has she lost her mind fighting at school, but also he’s a tiny bit proud she’s a fighter like him.

✴︎No because Poppy would most definitely do this, in her head she’s just rattling off mundane things about her father, but you’re sporting a frown because there’s a tiny part of you that hates the idea of Simon being alone with just poppy. Not that it’s any of your business though (you would definitely have to remind yourself of that).

Simon is groaning at his daughter’s perceptive nature and how willing she is to share every thought she has. When you waved him over to where you were during school pick up, Simon was praying something bad hadn't happened. “Mr. Riley, err Simon, sorry.” you correct yourself quickly at the raised eyebrow look he gives you. “Is everything okay… like at home?” you’re mentally face palming at the way you blurted out the very intrusive question. You sense his shock by the question by the almost imperceptible widening of his eyes. “Why-” he looks down at Poppy who’s swinging her tiny hand in his, not paying any attention to the conversation you two are having, “What did she say to you?” You wring your hands nervously, the older man’s deadpan stare makes you feel like you’re in trouble for some reason. “Poppy mentioned to me that you don't have any friends or talk much to anybody. I don't mean to pry, really I swear. Kids will tell you anything, i'm sure you know. After what happened with the family tree thing and-” You're cut off by Simon’s large hand settling on your shoulder, clearly an attempt to calm you down and halt your rambling, but it has the opposite effect and all you can think about is how enormous his hands are and the weight of it grasping you. “No need to apologize, Poppy talks my ear off about you. I’d be surprised if she didn’t talk to you about things. And you don't need to worry about me, luv. Im fine being alone, i've got my little petal and that’s enough f’me.” There’s an aura of wistfulness in his words, that makes you want to push him for a more truthful answer, but you chide yourself at your thoughts. You barely know this man. Whatever longing you think is in his voice may as well be a projection of your own sadness; a failed long term relationship will do that to a person.

✴︎Definitely loves to play games but does not let Poppy win because he wants her to learn how to lose and be okay with it. (You would applaud this btw, this is every teachers’ dream. Trust me on that). Their father-daughter nights also will be movie nights with as many sweets as poppy desires because Simon won't bend to anything but her little puppy dog eyes. I feel like even though he’s not the best cook ever Simon would go out of his way to cook Poppy’s favorites for her. Especially like on a saturday morning and wakes her up with breakfast in bed because why not spoil his little girl if he can.

✴︎I think it's a mix of both really. I imagine Poppy goes to some nice fancy school because why not lol. And some of Poppy's classmates have snooty rich parents who turn their noses up at Simon so their kids are kinda wary of him too. I think Poppy would hype up her dad so much at recess time. Telling stories of how he used to be a ‘super cool soldier’ and all the other kids would be staring in awe like omg your dad is so cool, my dad just does people’s taxes lol.

#mic answers #second chances au #oc: poppy #i lied please bless me with the motivation to actually finish the parts for this series...#i have too many half started drafts ughhhhh

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mihwee · 1 year

Note

hi! hope youre doing well~ ^^ first time asking from you, so sorry if it seems kinda awkward ;; could i possibly ask for a nsfw alphabet with gn reader and tartaglia/childe from genshin impact if youre up for it?

dont stress, take care of yourself!

hi stink, i can finally do this again since im starting to post daily 💀 after this ill do a TVIDTD (the villainess is destinied to die) nsfw hc 🔥

The Harbinger's алфавит

sys/Content: NSFW ABC. childe gets fcked 🔥

WARNING: nsfw duh, mention of bloodplay, clits nd cocks, but no specified gender

MINORS UNDER 13 DNI IN GEN. MINORS UNDER 16 DO NOT REQ.

GN READER / drabbles enjoy (+ im trying to find my blog aesthetic holy fuckk ) also, reader described as traveler or comrade yeh yeh

A: Aftercare

Let say, Childe is a sweet person. Whether its you who fucked the life out of him or vice versa, He was a person that lacked love and support from the beginning. But even so, with his playfull personality, i think he'll guarantee the best cuddles afterwards. Giving things he never received type of stuff. But ofcourse~ he'll love it more when you take care of him. (Even if hes fully capable of doing it himself lmao)

"How sweet of you y/n, How about you come a little closer."

B: bodypart :: which part do they mwa mwa the most

Your hair maybe. He likes taking little swifts of your scent every now and then, and especially your perfume, your shampoo... so he knows What type of perfumes you like. (So he can buy u them~) If were talking about Things He'd want To lick, suck and maybe gobble up... Thats up to your imagination.

"Oh, how can i just choose one comrade?"

C: Cum :: does they love cum, hate cum etc

Childe loves the feeling the he pleased you so much, (as usual.) He would usually lick up all your release, Letting the unusual flavor slide down his throat. A feeling that he cant buy again no matter how much money he gives.

"C'mon. Dont be a Loser, round two!"

D: Dirty Secret

Heavy Masochist. Honestly, hes a mix of both. He feels the thrill of fighting, the possbility of losing excites him the most. So it woudnt be a suprise if he likes getting a spank or two. Maybe a couple fingers inside, four? Pfft. Not a problem. you can choose which hole, He woudnt mind.

"A-ahh.. you can keep going, right there."

E: Experience :: how many cocks have childe took up his ass? Only time would tell

In terms of flirtiness, fuck hes a veteran. Before he met you, it was a usual ocassion that he slept with a couple women there and there. yet, never filling that void deep inside his heart. (oo~ emo.) You can enrust him he knows what hes doing, and exactly knowing how to send you over the edge.

"Mmh, close already? Want me to keep going?"

F: Favourite position

Missonary, Mating press, lotus position etc... he loves seeing your expression, your face. So its no wonder he likes these types of positions. Whether your biting your lip in pleasure as you pound into him, Or pool drooling onto your shirt as he bended your leg over. Fucking you to the fullest

"dont hide your face from me."

G: goofiness (he cant contain the silliness 😢) :: how silly are they in the sheets

Is he more humourous during sex? Not really. Well ofcourse he is on a normal day, Just not when you both are going feral on eachother. he particualarly likes being a little more serious on how he can make you orgasam. But sometimes, like for example: when you both accidentally broke the legs of the bed you were fuckin' on

He'd definetly let out a laugh or two lmaoo

"Get up~ we arent done yet."

H: Hair ::

Id say hes pretty well trimmed (if were talking ab pubes) not too much. Neither alot, Musk makes up for alot of aspects in sex you know? Plus hes busy killing people, itd be a waste to shave it all off anyway LMAO, + if its YOU were talking about, He doesnt give a fuck lol, a Poles a pole, and a holes a hole. You know the sayings

"H-hey! What are you pulling on? ......Nevermind." *💀💀

i: Intimacy :: careless whisper in the background~ how romantic are they?

Id say hes quite the rough-romantic? Always either wanting to get spanked or slapped, or gripping onto your hips and shoulders. Whispering words of "I know you love this." And all that. I guess he likes complimenting himself by a ton, and your groans seem to fuel his desire up even more.

"Let me hear you. Show me how much you want to fuck me."

J: Jack off :

He doesent really jack off most of the time, too busy doing missions, too busy getting commanded to kill this, kill that, do this. But when he gets the chance to do so, the only thing that'll ever come to mind is you roaming your hands all over his body. Pitifully bc he only jerks off when hes far away from u, doing missions as said earlier.

"Y/n. Y/n. Y/n. Y/n* —very breathless manner... wow~

K: kink :: Name atleast one of their kinks!

Getting tied up, or tying someone up, restriction of someones movements, letting him do whatever he wants with them is quite the taboo thing he inherited from his fellow harbingers. It excites him more, for every sensation is doubled.

"Don't worry y/n,, i wont bite... unless.. you want me to."

L: location :: where do u two do the devils tango more frequently?

The classic bed or some hidden alleyway in the city of liyue. Childe is quite rowdy in the bedroom, as much as his personality guarantees. —He'd probbably be moaning in pleasure, your fingers knuckle deep inside his ass as some random kid checked up 'why is there a stray cat meowing sm?' LMFAOO

M: motivation :: How long does he last? minute boy or hour man? You get the lines.

I shoudve set this to L as libido. But~ childe is very determined. Hes a man known for his incredulous stamina, and his reputation for lasting upon hours and hours, AND best believe Your gonna walk away with limp legs or a broken voice. Nothing in between.

"Your already so needy Y/N~ why waste the time? Another round."

N: NO (helll noooo) : turn off or icks

Non-consensual. It stems from his childhood, from getting forced to do things he doesnt like. Or, knowing how to fight for his life at the mere age of 14 was something he never asked for as a defenseless child. As much as he likes to spice things up in the bedroom, CNC gives him quite the ick.

"I... i think ill pass on that Traveler."

O: oral

Definetly giving, He likes to draw out some of your cute moans As he sucks you off, Or lick your clit. Holding onto your thighs or thick shaft as he lowers his head onto your crotch. Making u groan his name in pleasure.

"Mmgh,Nngh. Do you like this y/n? "

P: Pace ;; how fast the plap plap

Depending, he usually starts from slow then it grows quicker by the time you both chase for release. In a particualary good morning, he'd rather thrust in your tight hole as he whispers sweet nothings, —or in a bad evening, Riding out your lenght till it cant even produce a drop of cum.

"Fuck,fuck... im close.. im.—h-hah..."

Q: quickie

It like a everyday thing for the two of you. In some quiet boutiques Changing room? Why not? In some discreet alleyway fucking like some kind of animals? Casual. A quick fuck woudnt hurt in the eyes of tartaglia, considering hes always on the move.

"Come on...anywhere would be good Y/n...."

R: risk

S: stamina ;; how long the plap plap

Speaking of quickie... he loves risks. He loves the feeling of your hand onto his mouth as your ride/fuck the shit out of him. he grows even more harder when you tell him to keep quiet. Honestly, hes just really up for anything.

"Shit... they c-can see us.."

T: toy ;; do they use brr?

Stamina and pace is very different, as always— it depends. Childe can last for up to 8 hours with you AND a stack of bottled waters. And sometimes, he'd writhe under you, clawing your back as he came for litteraly the 5th time. Feeling like he cant take it anymore.

"Rougher..rougher..fuck, p-please.."

U: unfair :: how much dey like to tease frr

Ofcourse. A wide selection of cuffs, Muzzles, Butt plugs, Everything, its mostly you who decided to buy them to use on childe.. with his money... ahen. But he doesnt pay any mind, He even finds it quite arousing...

"Dont turn it...up...h-hah...please.."

V: volume :: how loud this bitch

Very. Childe is MAXED out stats when it comes to teasing. Letting go of your shaft as you almost neared your climax, Or pulling out the moment you convulse around his dick. He teases so much, you feel like your about to punch him at any waiting moment.

"Woah woah.. so pumped up already?"

W: wild card ;; (wild headcanon, Wild scenario etc)

he freqently lets out rough growls, or slutty whimpers. And doesnt feel embarassed to let all his noises out. —Eitherways, it always feels like music to your ears.

"....D-Dont laugh at me..."

X: Xtreme

Ok. So, You heard that childe was rumoured to be quite the playboy in his motherland. Fucking women left and right, but never reaching his climax. And it seemed to intrigue you. Later that night.. you fuck him hard and count every time he orgasamed. Sucking him to the very last drop.

"I-it was the thing of the past! C-come on now... please...nngh.."

Y: Yearning ;; how much he misses u when ur out

Hm, It might sound unusual, but he loves bloodplay. He might hate most things like Vomiting, Or stool-play, Blood is no match, and one of the many factors that turned him on quite fucked up-ly. Get it? Nevermind. You dont need to dig into it...

"Tastes the best, Mmh."

I feel like ive written this, Hm. But, He feels quite the slump whenever your not around. Even sfter his missions with the fatui, his energy quite drained whenever your not there, and hugging some random pillow in your house. (That he sneaked into when your away lol)

"When will y/n arrive... Haahh..."

Z: ZZZ :: after zex... do mimimi right away?

Not really. When he feels holding up a little, he loved to stare at you dearingly. Watching your chest rise up and down as you breathed softly, and the way your hair framed your face as you slept after a pretty hard session. Keepying you protected under his watch.

"How cute, Traveler."

I put some explanation for some Letters, bc ik some of us dumb as shit like me who dont get it right away unless i read the desc myself

this also took awhile 💀 me and my friends 10hr swimming trip ended so im really dead tired (maybe id write more for some reqs if i get horny as fuck)

ALSO I HOPE U GUYS DIDNT SEE THE WAY MY EFFORT PLUMMELED TO THE GROUND..its night here in my country...

#childe #tartagalia #genshin impact #genshin impact fanfictions #fanfiction #fanfictions #top reader #gn reader #smut #genshin smut #mihwee🐈‍⬛

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violentviolette · 4 months

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i think i have aspd or traits . but i dont wanna go to a psych and be like " btw here are my symptoms ive never told u about before , have fun ! ( insert the entire ASPD criteria here ) . sorry " because that makes me look bad & i appear the opposite ( passive , fearful , not aggressive ) , & dont want to appear as a threat and i most definitely dont want them to think im manipulating them when im not ( like for example when im just telling them my symptoms regarding other conditions ) . and i dont want to admit to committing crimes incase they report me or i have to go through a security clearance for job reasons and they go thru my stuff . anyways as far as anyones concerned i seem nice but weird but not the type of person to have those kinds of symptoms , and i want it to keep my Good Girl(tm) image . but also . i dont want to start having legal issues , become dependent on substances , pursue any illegal occupation , etc since it would suck to get caught and im only 21 so i keep trying my best to avoid it everytime i almost continue with it , but i need help bad lol . any idea of what i should or can do ? anything helps

okay real talk but literally do exactly the opposite of everything ur doing and also get out of ur own head and stop overanalyzing every thought u have to find justifications for not doing the very simple basic first step towards what u know is the right thing to do but just dont want to because being vulnerable feels yucky and ur scared

i say this with genuine compassion and no judgement because i *absolutely* did and still sometimes do the same thing but unfortunately the only way to get urself out of that cycle is to get over urself and touch grass (encouragingly) so that u just Do The Thing u know u need to do

being open and honest with a therapist about ur thoughts and feelings is the only way to get any actual positive growth or help out of it. u cant fix what u dont talk about and keeping it all to urself will only drive u more and more insane. staying cooped up inside ur own mind without telling other ppl what ur thinking out loud creates a feedback loop of crazy. u gotta hear urself talk to another person sometimes to actually really *hear* urself, u know? ur brain is where the crazy is and u cant stay there alone and expect it to work out and get better. u have to talk it out and be confronted and challenged with other viewpoints to realize where urs are disordered if u look for reasons not to do something u will absolutely find them, and while i could offer rebuttels to a lot of ur concerns, things like how ur medical records and psych details are not that detailed. u doing illegal behavior like stealing or doing drugs is not something that gets listed on those and falls under patient confidentiality. the only thing that gets documented is the official diagnoses name which most therapists are going to be very reluctant to hardline diagnose someone with aspd (and even then it only gets logged with that practice and submitted to ur insurance only if ur seeking care like meds or hospital stays or get incarcerated. otherwise, if u dont tell someone "i saw dr.x at yclinic from 2019-2022, then they have no way of knowing or finding out what that dr wrote on their internal records/notes. there is no centralized database of "medical history" outside of ur insurance company and specific practices internal networks) individual symptoms like "illegal activity" do not get listed and unless ur planning on enrolling in the military or working for the feds no job is looking more deeply than that into ur history unless u personally volunteer it. what comes up when specific companies do background checks with a medical history is ur insurance records. ur insurance only knows what gets submitted to them specifically, if ur therapist doesnt file paperwork with ur insurance to list aspd as a diagnosis they are looking for ur insurance to pay them to treat u for specifically (instead of more generalized things like "depression" "anxiety" or just "mental health care" ect, which they have to get ur permission to do) then there's no paper trail of what u two talk about in that office or how ur "good girl" image is legitimately worthless garbage and will grant u absolutely nothing in life and clinging to it in the false hope that other ppls perceptions of u will change who u actually are and make u happy is only gonna lead u to looking at ur shitty unhappy life in 5 years and being filled with nothing but regret and anger and wanting to kill urself or that while u cant know or control how ur therapist sees u or reacts to the things u share with them, u can control who they are. if u fuck up with this therapist or it takes a turn u dont like or they start treating u badly, u can very much just get another one. u can request a different person at the same clinic for any reaosn or u could switch clinics entirely. most insurance in the us is taken by more than 1 provider in an area and there are almost always multiple practices that take the local insurance. and even then, if u wanna drive 45mins to see a therapist a town over cause u burned a bridge with this one u can do that. ur not beholden to a single person, u can get dozens and dozens of opinions. ive had over 15 different therapists in my life. if u fuck up with one u can always get another

but all those rebuttals dont really matter because if u want to, i have no doubt u could find counter points to all those points. i know i could if i tried. so really it just comes down to the simple question of are u going to keep standing in ur own way or are u going to cut the bullshit and take it seriously and do the hard thing because u know its what u need to do? ur young still, uve got so much time, dont waste more of it waiting for the perfect solution or situation because it will never exist. do it now, do it messy, do it scared, fuck it up and get it wrong a bunch, and then try again and again until it works

#jack.speaks #aspd #aspd tag #actually aspd #i know that was a lot and sounds harsh but this is honestly how i talk to myself #and its been the most effective way for me to cut thru my own shit #so pls know im not trying to judge u or be mean or hurt ur feelings or put u down in any way #this is all shit ive told myself before because sometimes u just have to be blunt and say the quiet part out loud to get thru to urself #so i hope that helps u to and i hope u start doing the real work to get better #because u deserve to get better and to have a good life that u enjoy living

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crescentfool · 4 months

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my art summary for 2023! this year was very all over the place for me, but i'm glad to say that i've created despite personal hardships (that were mostly unrelated to art) 🥺 thank you everyone for taking a look at my work this year! 💙 i hope 2024 will be just as fun! 🎉

some documentation of my feelings about art this year under the cut:

i think i was way too hard on myself this year with my art. and i am sitting here like. "goddamn dude. why would you do that to yourself for. stop that LOL"

honestly i would go in a time machine to give myself a pat on the back for drawing SPLATOON for the first time in like 6 years or something. trying to learn the proportions and figuring out how i wanted to draw splatoon was very hard. and i still don't know what i want my splatoons to look like!

i remember back in late 2019 i would bitch to my friend that i didn't understand how face anatomy worked and i would tell her how it was the end of the world. but as i drew more i eventually understood faces better (and i'm still learning!). funny how that works! so i like to think my sploons will be like this too :D

the other thing i would have told 2023 me: overthink less about the learning process. maybe it's because i have way too much free time on my hands but. when i'm not actively drawing i have a lot of analysis paralysis and perfectionism. so i end up not starting anything out of my comfort zone even if it's just for practice because my brain is so hung up on trying to "learn new things optimally" and making things "good enough." and. i. guys.

pleasepleasepleaseplease don't do that to yourself its NOT GOOD!! give urself permission to fuck up and make pieces that dont work out!! u can always revisit the concept later u dont have to do it perfectly the first time!! please!!! i am giving myself and anyone else reading permission to fuck up in creative endeavors. woo!!! i love making mistakes and fixing them later!!

THAT SAID for the things i did sit down and do, i like them (like the pieces here!)! and i'm glad i did them because its like! woaw! more data to work with! so im hoping to do more of that next year! sit down and let art come out! not everything needs to be bangers! things will click eventually! trust!!

so my goal for 2024 is to draw things out of my comfort zone (mostly backgrounds, maybe comics) even if it looks shite!!! no more fucking grid and gradient we are putting characters in LOCATIONS!!! and as a fun bonus it would be funny if each of my pieces in my art summary next year looks like it was made by a different person. because i think its funny to do that. and u should make urself laugh while doing anything :D (i love silly!!! yay!! yipee!! wahoo!!)

#lizzy does art #lizzy speaks #the december one is unreleased bc they're part of a thingy im working on. they're just extracts from my current wip compiled on a grid #as u can see i don't have a consistent style (that's the goal babey!). or maybe you think it's consistent! idk! i look at my own art more #than anyone else would probably FKLDHSLFDH #idk i went and said drawing this year is going to be like jumping up and down on a mattress LMAOO. whatever that means #anyway SERIOUSLY THOUGH LIZZY LOVES U ALL VERY MUCH. thankie for the fun tags and nice words and any support!#i wish every fellow creative a good brain year ahead and that ur brain is ur ally! do shit scared! yipee!!! learning!! wahoo! bye!!!#and maybe i'll do other fun things next year too! like more video editing. it was really nice to rediscover my love for it again!!

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mpregfrance · 5 months

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Alright to start this ask off I'm just gonna say my interactions w/ you have genuenly been one of the funniest ive had in a long ass time. I've read ur recent post and I empathyse a lot. You seem incredibly funny and genuine. Idk your situation and your background and even your age, but I think you can and are pulling through. Things will get better even if you dont actively want them to. Im not saying this in a vague hope to make the situation you are in better. Im telling you, as a person who from the age of 14 went from therapist to therapist, somehow been on meds that dont fuckin exist yet in croatia, someone who feels trapped in the very /country/ she lives in with no means of escape, someone who is "waiting" for things to finally financially/academicaly/politicaly be better so that I can make something of my life. As it did for me, you will feel joy again in what you do, in what you have, and in what you can achieve. I think it's ok to be down, its ok to feel like "if a bus hit me tomorrow i wouldnt protest" but the thing about people is we adapt rather quickly. So putting yourself out there, going to places you are scared to and believe yourself to be an outcast from is exactly what gets you to meet people and see things that youll remember forever. And after a while the outcast will stop coming to these places, the person there will be someone who belongs. Apathy is a way of saying "fine whatever i dont even care anymore" but youll see how much you care.

I started getting ok after a full decade of *trying* and what I've always found is that for me the saying "don't take anything seriously" is no.1 rule. I get worked up, anxious and overwhelmed with so much so many times.

You may have problems with people at work with friends and whomever, but the main thing you gotta remember is *you cant change anyone but yourself*

And its not a change of personality, hair color, interests, its how much something will get to you, how willing are you to give something up thats not working out and how you will percieve something.

I have no doubt that you know all of this crap but i guess i wanted to say all of that just bc there is no greater pain for me than when i see someone feel like i did regardless of the reason or situation.

Keep on truckin and doing what u love even if its mpregfrance posting. I will always be here to send you to liking-france-jail, mwah <3

hello my sweaty angle <3 i'm sorry i'm just replying to this now. i had to sleep on it because your thoughtfulness deserves a sincere reply.

first of all - thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being so kind, sweet and insightful and offering your support.

the fact that you would take the precious time out of your day to write this out for me is, in a word, unbelievable. i really appreciate you checking in, it's an incredibly caring thing to do. to be honest i'm a little overwhelmed by the magnitude of this unexpected message and i wish i knew how better to express my appreciation.

i really do love to hear that i made you laugh. i live to shitpost. i've always prided myself on my sense of humor and sometimes i feel as if it's slipping away, so it's reliving to hear i've still got it.

unfortunately i still haven't had the strength to eat. i'm heading to work in a bit. things are pretty rough right now, but when have they not been? obviously my present circumstances aren't the root cause of all my problems. in fact my life has improved since moving here.

extensive bianca lore and vulnerability under the cut, apologies in advance.

basically, in so few words, my current situation is that i'm nearly 25 and have nothing to show for it. i've lived in different cities across the US, had great jobs, apartments, friends, roommates, relationships, etc. i have done a lot of living in a short amount of time. but then, in retrospect, it feels like it stopped.

about 3 years ago i was in a very bad place mentally due to the isolation of the pandemic, and i met my husband online. in early 2022 i gave up everything, saved over $10k for the visa and moving costs, and relocated from the US to australia to live with him. our relationship itself has improved from how it used to be, but since the beginning we've had seemingly endless bad luck and financial setbacks.

last year, not long after our (very disappointing) wedding, i suffered a devastating miscarriage. ruptured ectopic, massive internal bleeding, required emergency surgery etc. not only was that traumatic emotionally, but i wasn't eligible for healthcare at the time bc of my immigration status, so we're still paying off the medical bill.

we share a house with my mother in law who is a domineering, emotionally incestuous single mom and an emotionally abusive narcissist. i don't throw that term around lightly, as so many people do these days, but i honestly believe she's devoid of empathy. she's admitted that she dislikes me and thinks i'm stupid because i don't talk much, and goes out of her way to make me feel unwelcome.

so i'm stuck in an area that feels, to me, like the middle of nowhere. i'm not homesick, i love this country. it's just that i'm not used to suburbs. i feel most comfortable in a city where there's people and places and things, neon lights and background noise and stuff to do.

i'd would be happy to live anywhere as long as it's not with her. it honestly feels like a prison sometimes. that sounds dramatic but she's cultivating an unbelievably hostile environment that causes me to feel on edge whenever she's around.

needless to say we need to move, desperately. it's our #1 priority. more than anything else i want a place of our own and eventually a family. we've been actively househunting for the better part of a year, but the rental market is catastrophically bad right now. it's not even about the money, since we're both working we can afford a decent place. it's just that it's so competitive. every showing i've attended, there's been like 30 other prospective tenants. we've been turned down from every apartment we've applied for.

on top of our living situation i have complex health issues that are just getting worse. my energy is zapped. trying to balance work work and housework leaves me with almost no free time to write.

this barely scratches the surface of why I Am The Way That I Am™. i'm not saying any of this to evoke sympathy or brag about 'having it hard'. simply trying to explain. my upbringing was abusive and dysfunctional in a number of ways. i just barely graduated high school. i never had traditional opportunities, i was raised in a way where there's basically no assumption/expectation that you'll ever be successful or fulfilled. i'm diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD and bipolar 2 - haven't been able to get my proper meds in australia. i've been addicted to hard drugs and alcohol. i'm not pleasant to be around. i will probably always look like and act like the lower class, white trash girl that i am. i have spent my entire life in survival mode.

i'm always in the midst of some identity crisis or running away from something. so yeah, i've been hurt and downtrodden. i've also experienced the beautiful side of life from time to time. i've gained a breadth of knowledge and met incredible individuals who introduced me to new perspectives and i'm forever grateful for them. with the way i've lived, i'm very lucky to not be dead or incarcerated right now.

ok, pity party's over. for real this time.

you're pretty much describing exactly how i feel. you know the struggle. the part about waiting to live my life; that's precisely where i'm at. i don't necessarily have a desire to fit in, i just want to get away into somewhere that i can adjust better to.

my isolation is partially due to a lack of energy but also i don't seek out interaction because i'm afraid no one else can understand me. not because i believe i'm too 'complex' or 'damaged' to be understood. that's a load of self-pitying bullshit. it's just scary to be truly seen. or vulnerable. or genuine. bc the results of such openness are unpredictable and uncomfortable.

it's hard, but i know i have to find it within myself to take that push. what's holding me back right now is mainly my material conditions, circumstances out of my direct control. i have no doubt i'll feel at least 50% better when i stop living with this woman.

i certainly have no problem with starting over if something doesn't work for me. contrary to what i might've described, i believe i'm pretty well adjusted, self aware and rational. as is obvious i don't take many things that seriously lmao. i went from caring wayyy too much about everything, being overly emotional and sensitive, to going entirely with the flow and accepting what i can't control or predict.

also i am well aware that you can't change people, that's never been my goal lmao i've never needed someone to tell me that <3

tl;dr, thank you. so much. this really uplifted and inspired me meli, thank you so much for being so thoughtful and compassionate.

it sounds like you're also stuck between a rock and a hard place in your own environment, and i'm sorry to hear that. it's a wretched feeling but i believe you you will thrive no matter the setting, because in all seriousness, you're incredibly talented. i hope you know you should follow your dreams. hell, it looks like you already are and you're giving us the privilege of witnessing it. your art is stunning, the passion and care you put into your work is obvious. your matthew is absolutely beautiful - like his maman.

from a rabidly devoted france woobifier to the designated france hater, i'm only going to say this once but you are validated in your distaste. i understand. you gotta admit though, he is a MILF.

if one thing is certain i will never stop frussyposting. in fact right now i am thinking about france hetalia big fat juicy boobies mmmm milky squishy. i'm giving her a teensy tiny little slut waist and childbearing hips. i would give him a brazilian butt lift but he doesn't even need it!!!

if that is a crime then lock me up. please. strap on the handcuffs and throw me in the crate for naughty little freaks teeheehee >:3

be careful tho. if you keep sending me gay ass love letters like this they're gonna start shipping toxic yuri melianca even harder <3

#this made my day #this ask gave me bottom emoji eyes!!!#DM me if you want babe #ask and ye shall receive #tw vent

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