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pieroulette · 11 months

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Did I, A Side Character Became the Male Lead's Wife?!

2023 | 13+ | ONESHOT | YANG JUNGWON × READER | -> PART 2

SUMMARY you — a side character in a royal novel doing absolutely nothing but enjoy your rich ass yet boring life, only watching over the female lead and doing your job in protecting her, only for a pair of kittenish eyes to fall not upon the female lead but on you, unfortunately.

AUTHOR'S NOTE not me writing a whole ass oneshot at 5am bcs of that sweet ask from that one anon, imma name u serotonin dopamine anon lmao- and jungwon bae u r truly my muse.. also inspired by sum manhwas cuz I binge read 90+ chapters in less than a day 💀💀💀 plus happy 900+ followers for me <333 mom wake up I'm famous even tho I'll never let u know what my secret writing blog is about 😊😊

a side character, how cute?

well, you only came to know of this very horrible (not really) fact that you're nothing close to a main character's vibes cause look at you babe, where's the sparkling shiny starry dust on you as you walked through the red carpet at the ball?

and did they even spare a glance at you? unfortunately, nope. because the female lead, Liz; was your enemy, at least in how your character was written in the novel by the goddamn author which was you.

yes, that's right!

you, a hella introverted author dwelling in the deepest corner of her room doing nothing but spent an ungodly amount of hours creating the perfect and enchanting characters after crying for major character death of a fic a few years ago. wiping your dripping tears off your cheeks in a comical way as you pull open your laptop and risk your 20/20 vision for life, just so you can reverse the aching pain in your chest that you wore a thick ass glasses now.

Liz, the female lead. Swooning over her was your religion, throwing not one but a ten whole buckets explaining how perfect she was—or how tremendously kind she was, delicate and utterly sweet. patting yourself on the back for creating such a goddess of a character, so it's only wise for you to give her a fitting male lead, right? Okay we'll talk about that later since it's about you right now.

So how did you end up in your novel? Well, because of one fateful day of you doing absolutely nothing but taking a goddamn rest, and whoever the god in heaven that just randomly decided to throw you in the novel you wrote yourself—must be utterly insane. Perfect indeed!

it took you a humongous realisation to see yourself in a dark green puffy dress that represents jealousy, envy, and betrayal—which also represents the side character standing behind the female lead on the thick cover of your book. you've originally written her as that wicked best friend that uses her seductive way of speech to seduce men, and at last turning her back at the female lead by accusing her of a horrendous crime.

her fatal fate consists of her head being snapped by the guillotine, unfortunately. but for you, not really, cause you are so in for destroying wicked characters but jokes on you—you're now in the body of that character.

pfft, can't the gods put you in a character that lives near the sea, with your straw hat on and as you drank your lemon juice away from the public drama, angsty dialogues, cringe moments you yourself have created because you don't have atleast an ounce of social skills that's why you pour it all on your characters.

"oh my apologies, milady— pfft—" three ladies sticking with each other like a super glue, had thrown the glass of wine on the female lead's gown—earning a series of gasps from everyone who saw but you were sure won't pay an ounce of consideration towards her as you had written almost everyone in this novel as "the world against the weak, fragile character."

oh, right. the hyena laughters of those you describe in episode 3 of "the flashy ball"; the three evil sisters, because why not? they added the extra spices in your tongue to the point you couldn't wait for them to get slap by the female lead or possibly someone.

ah, the tremendous satisfaction.

and you were one of that person whose hands itching to smash their skull apart, you cringed enormously at them as they were the ones that brought total trouble wherever they went or whoever are unlucky enough to get in their way. unfortunately, you seal your female lead's fate with them as she need some little obstacles, doesn't she?

you as hell were not sure what you're supposed to do, whether to just let things happen as the story goes or you do the male lead's job in protecting the female lead cause you have no idea why is he taking such a long time to appear, when he should've made his grand entrance at the freaking introduction?

and you wrote it that way cause you got fed up with male leads making their first appearance at the ball, and somehow quickly gaining the female lead's heart like Cinderella cause dear lord where's the slow burn?

just say, you're a conservative grandma type of a mindset or that you are skeptical over love at first sight. yep, you're right. that's why you ain't gonna let your precious female lead get bullied in front of your very eyes. she's like your granddaughter right now, seriously.

a shriek echoed through the entire ball, gaining everyone's attention. "oh my god! my dress! you— lady Liz! who did you even brought with you?!"

oh right, you forgot it's your first time at the ball either. "my apologies, milady. it's just that i saw a bunch of hyenas roaming around.." you rubbed the back of your neck.

"hyenas?! guards—"

"chill, what's the commotion here?" a bright dashing blonde haired man in a red royal suit came around, with sets of stars dusting upon his form which you already realise to be part of the main characters but unfortunately you forgot. you ain't having that extra superhuman memory just because you are an author.

the bunch of hyenas before you reasoned with the prince, but you slowly realise that the prince was none other than Prince Jake. Inspired by that one puppy image idol from fourth generation of kpop, you were apparently slurping your noodles in the local restaurant when you watched him imitating a dog from the tv, causing you to choke on your noodles.

it's safe to say, he's hot enough that he had to be part of your main characters. aah, that signature dashing smile of his as he defended the female lead with his wisely chosen string of words which immediately melted everyone's heart at sight.

times like this you wish you were actually the female lead, but the logical side of you beg to differ; you are not emotionally capable of spewing cringy romantic words for that's only reserved for writing. So thank you, i'll pass.

Surely, Prince Jake ain't the male lead for your precious female lead but you just let them converse with each other despite her with her absolute kindness, urging you to talk with them too, atleast a word. it sort of felt for a moment like she was trying to match you with the prince.

like no please, you'd rather not to. hot guys are hot, but they're not worth the emotional investment past the fangirling section.

plus the prince doesn't seem interested you as he doesn't spare not even one look at you which obviously you couldn't care any less, you sneakily went out the ball after a series of mishaps—for example your heavy puffy ass gown with its sole purpose to only look pretty but the reality ain't that pretty to say the least, panting like a dog as you took each step towards the entrance all while cussing yourself for ignoring your logical part of brain that you shouldn't have been adding humongous useless words to describe the gown just to make it sound extremely pleasing to the readers.

now you're the one to bear the consequences of your own writing, the fuck.

"one! two!—" a long, long, depressing sigh echoes. "three! ah!—" consequently falling upon your face, what a perfect day indeed. you just wanted to go home, tuck yourself in your comforting blanket, eat your hot cup of ramen or indulge yourself in the sea of chocolate while daydreaming of your favourite idols and fictional characters.

not this awful disaster of you getting tangled in the courts' affairs.

"i suppose, you need help, milady?"

oh no, certainly not. don't call me milady, pretend i do not exist for i certainly do not have the social skills to pretend that i like you, or form a decent conversation especially with men.

"milady?"

you curled yourself, burying your head into the comfort of your gowns. wondering quite a bit of how odd you look in the middle of the hallway.

"milady?" his voice-like whisper came closer, obviously standing beside you right now. "are you okay?"

fuck it. "please, i beg of you to kindly leave me alone as my day has been utterly ruined and—" oh wait, he seems oddly familiar. those lush fluffy hair and kittenish orbs that only softens among those he were close enough.

prince jungwon.

oh! the male lead, oh my god! your jaw hang so low it fell on the ground, your eyes sparkled in dozens of star like universe as you took in his marvelous beauty that you had spent creating meticulously after studying all the '101 rules of how to create the perfect male lead that had the readers heart evaporating & a huge ass green forest that certainly would cause blazing flames'.

"oh my god! you look absolutely gorgeous, i've done it really well didn't i?! oh my god!"

"o-oh—! absolutely, you did well!" he immediately replied back, pressing his lips tight nervously.

wait what? what did he say? oh shit, oh well, covering your mouth instantly as you accidentally let it out before the prince, your precious male lead that you solely created for the female lead. "i—.."

the prince, your very precious character—obviously taken aback with a slight blush dusting of his adorable cheeks as he raise his fist up to his lips, coughing a couple of seconds. a personality trait you very well are familiar of cause that's how you wrote him when he fall in love with the female lead.

your eyes ogled out at that familiar sight, screaming at the back of your mind—wait, wait! you're not supposed to fall in love with me, you idiot! go back! go inside the ball, she's inside there!

"that's oddly brave of you, milady. i'd certainly go as far as to say that i've never seen such traits from a lady." kitten eyes softening at you, crouching down as he lend both of his hands for you. you raised your eyebrow confusingly at what is he trying to pull at but you realise he was intending to get you up.

"u-uhm? uh, sorry. i could get up on my own, actually." yeah, that's what you did. pushing yourself back up despite his protests because you ain't gonna let him fall any further for you, nah uh, not in this life, your mission is to get him and your female lead together inside the frames of birds holding flower wreaths as they went on to their happily ever after.

not with you!

"may i have the honour to know your name, though, milady?" why the fuck isn't he leaving, what is there so interesting in you that he is still standing here asking you such generic questions.

you shouldn't be having the characters attention on you as you obviously wrote it that way, and that even though your character in the novel had tried to get the prince's heart, despite resorting to foul actions, that he never truly had been attracted to her despite this characters' seductive aura.

for you squealed so loud at the scene you wrote, with jungwon putting her in her place. "you are not her, and you would never be her." along with the bunch of your readers hosting a flamboyant celebration under the comments, screaming over how loyal he was.

so what in the actual fuck is this?

"you don't need my name." you nonchalantly answered.

"my apologies?"

"you see, my best friend is in the ball—" you gestured your hands to the entrance of the ballroom, "and she needs your help more than i do."

"wait? why would she need my help?" his eyebrows knitted together in utter confusion as you pushed him through his back.

"of course, she do! don't ask anything!"

"wait!— my name is!" he forcefully turn to face you again, but you immediately covered his mouth with your hands—kabedonning him against the wall.

an excruciating silence occured between you two in the silent hallway, Jungwon freezing to his core when your other hand shoot beside his head.

"listen i don't need your name, dear sir." you emphasise each word, you certainly don't need to know his name nor his status as a prince, not wanting to risk any possible connection with him judging by how he acted before you just now.

"b-but!" his words were muffled into the void as you cupped his mouth tighter.

"shh, shh. stop talking and listen, will you?!"

jungwon nodded slowly, what an odd situation he was in right now, he thought. but somehow he likes it.

"so first step, is go inside the ballroom. second, look for the lady in pink gown, and third—"

"t-third?"

"third is tell her your name! my best friend needs it more than i do!" you release him from your grasp as you went to swing open the huge double door, "now go!" waving a goodbye before kicking his body through the entrance, pulling the door back with your entire strength despite his protests.

oh of course, you finally let out a gag after suppressing it in front of him the entire time as you've never had a proper conversation with a male without stuttering, somewhat a sad tragedy for you, unfortunately. you felt quite guilty about your readers who swoon over the romances you wrote between your leads, weeping over how you're so good at it—not knowing you're a complete introvert with only a gigantic ass dictionary with you.

finally, the male lead and female lead's romances are about to start! you squealed with your hands clasping as you went on your way to the carriage, gesturing for the rider to embark on the way to your heavenly puffy manor with the widest big grin ever that it had him questioning you, "has any gentleman had caught your heart, milady? a couple of hours ago, you were often beyond distraught to attend the ball but insisted when you heard Lady Liz was going."

"oh, you silly." you giggled as you swayed your hand, "of course, that's one of the reasons. but there's another one.."

"may i ask what is it, then?"

you leaned in closer, urging him to get closer as you whispered. "i got the chance to become a Cupid!"

"a Cupid?" you squealed before the old man, hopping like a child for quite awhile before flying into the carriage much to his surprise, but only shook his head in amusement—appalled by how his mistress had changed so much.

"so?" you couldn't help yourself from pulling out the widest eccentric grin at the female lead, extremely curious and ecstatic over what romances had bloom between her and Jungwon.

Liz raises her eyebrow in confusion, "so?.. what do you mean, milady?"

you shrugged, falling back to your seat as you raise your eyebrow in a comical way, "that.." whispering ever so seductively, "prince."

"p-prince?

"yes!" the teacup rattles at your excitement oozing so much that you tapped the table a couple of times. "what happen? what's the tea~"

she lets out a soft giggle, a bit amused by your excitement. "i have no idea what you're trying to imply, milady."

"wait? what are you saying? didn't the prince went to you last night?"

Liz shook her head slowly, her expressions clearly stating that she absolutely don't know what and who you were talking about as a smile pulled up on her lips once again, taking a few sip from her teacup.

veins popped out from your neck as it dawned on you, your head snapped towards the castle on top of the mountain, you stupid of a prince! you cussed at him endlessly at the back of your mind, tightening your fist as your ears and nose fuming in anger. how dare he? he didn't listen to you at all? what in the actual fuck? would this somehow divert the original route? a dozen question arise into your mind one after another, causing you to let out an exaggerated sigh.

facepalming yourself as you imagined the imaginary heavenly light on top of you, weeping to yourself about how tremendously unlucky you are to have a hard headed male lead. it's impossible, you have never added a trait so irritating like this in his profile so how could this happen?

"milady?" the gentle voice of your precious female lead pulled you out of your inner desperation, you leaned in closer, whining so much over how unlucky you were and such, the rest only being in your mind as you pouted.

"ah, i remember now, the prince—"

"WHAT?—" you immediately seated yourself after giving her a potential heart attack, "my apologies, what did you actually.. remember?"

"i assume you were talking about the prince from yesterday? prince jake?"

"no not that bitch— oh certainly not him, ehem.." you took a couple of exaggerated coughs, avoiding her evident confusion. "isn't there a prince.. name jungwon with you that night?"

"oh my goodness! right! prince jungwon!" she shook her head in disbelief with her finger on her head.

right, how did you even forgot that the female lead in front of you had a "weak ass memory" in her profile description. tsk tsk, truly a forgetful author you are. you should be trying your best to remember the things you wrote before and revise it as best as you can, to avoid any possible problems in the future, atleast.

"right, how did i even forget, the prince asked me for your name, milady—"

"huh?" you look at her with confusion, as you were out of reality a couple of seconds ago. your orbs terribly widened as her words slowly sinking in to your brain. "HUH?"

ask your name?! why your name, why not hers?! what did the prince ate that night before stumbling onto your way that he had to ask for your name before the female lead—his own lover?!

laughing awkwardly, you raise your leg on top of another as you nervously swayed your hands repeatedly. "oh dear, oh dear. you might have heard it wrong, the prince?—" snorting outloud as you gestured to yourself, "asking for my name? what a funny news!"

"i didn't, milady. the prince came to me and asked me for your name, as he was immensely curious of who you are so i—"

"so what?—" you can't believe this, you really can't bring yourself to believe any words she was uttering. you should have been bestowed by the news that the prince had taken an interest in her, a hand in marriage, or anything, anything as long as you're out of the picture! "y-you didn't tell him my name, d-didn't you?"

"of course, i did!" exclaimed she did with the widest grin ever.

why are you so freaking happy over this?! clasping your head in your hands as you tragically fall on your knees causing the lady to gasp in shock, ushering to your side to get you up.

"milady?! what's wrong?"

"d-dear," you pouted as you look up to her, "you didn't tell him where my manor's at, r-right?"

she simply replied, "i did? the prince informed me that he's going to send a letter for you to be his partner to the ball."

an imaginary arrow struck back to your heart, forming a humongous hole that threatens to give you a panic attack. what? what in the actual fuck? did you accidentally did something to divert the original story you yourself created? but you didn't even do anything! you tried to do your best to keep the interaction with him as short as possible and he dared to take an interest in you?!

"milady, a letter from the royal palace had arrived for you."

"discard it. throw it. keep it away from my sight."

"milady?!" Liz and the head of the maid exclaimed in utter shock at your nonchalant answer.

"forget about it, forget about it." you clasped your forehead in utter disappointment, yet your brain were creating another plan b for this unexpected turn of events. what should you do? even more so, what would you do now that the prince had asked for you to be by his side to the ballroom?

this won't do, you won't let this happen—you had to look as unattractive and ugly as possible for him to cringe on and finally divert his attention back to the rightfully person who deserved it; the female lead.

your maids could only fall apart every single time you pluck out the enchanting gems they attached on your hair, ears and wrists. their efforts deemed futile as always as you had no mood for any sort of events, it was like a slap to their face as you initially weren't like this. you overheard them that they couldn't get used to how you were adamant in staying behind the spotlight as you often did your very best in dressing yourself up before, with the sole intention of gaining the favour of men and even more better, a prince.

of course, they are totally oblivious to your real identity. only a series of jaw gaping one after another with your change of character, at first—you had a dilemma over whether you should act like the character you created but you later scrap the idea as soon as the anxiety of being engulfed in the crowd suffocated your chest. opting to avoid as many as balls or public events as possible, but that obviously didn't work out that well since you heard of the female lead's arrival from the country side—just like you intended it to be.

and being the proud mother (writer) you are, of course why wouldn't you take one single look at her and see of how far she had came? but alas, one interaction leads to another one and so on—till finally, you became her best friend throughout her entire journey. waiting for the male lead's arrival, and watch their romances blooming and per se—but oh well, look at the situation you were in right now; total disaster.

you truly despise being in such an extravagant puffy gown and the numerous accessories hugging your skin, it's tremendously uncomfortable that you wanted to rip it off part in front of the prince standing before you right now, and right here.

asking for your hand to dance with that odd kittenish smile, that you swore you had never ever written in his personality profile; he should never have been this casual and chill over a person he had just met. he should've been cold as fuck, icy to touch, and a spiralling disaster if you dare to talk to him, so why?

plus how could he have taken an interest in you? you couldn't possibly have added a dose of the love at first sight trope, didn't you? you despised that trope to your very core.

"milady? may i?" he extended his hand before you, patiently waiting for your answer.

you had decided that you're going to reject him quick and efficient—just like the local fast food restaurant your mouth kept drooling over for, smashing a five star review for their inhuman speedy delivery.

"you see, prince jungwon. i have no desire to have a connection with you, a relationship, as a matter of fact."

he raised his eyebrow, seemingly unfazed by your bold words. "i'm curious milady, why so? have i done something that perhaps had annoyed you?"

cliché question, you loathe that. "what if i said you did?"

"then tell me, milady. i'll try my hardest to own up to you—" he took a steps forward, which causes you to immediately step back as well with a frown on your face. you can't, not in this life, to even give him a single chance to get close to you. nah uh.

"no need, and stay one meter apart, please." you pointed your index finger towards the floor and he hesitated, but complied immediately.

"i." you raise your index finger back to yourself and then at him, "don't like you. do you understand?"

"b-but?"

"stop questioning me, prince jungwon." you stayed firm in your spot, "i believe it's a common decency to step back when a lady had voiced out her opinion, a prince like you certainly would understand, am i right?"

Jungwon was clearly taken aback, the fact that you didn't give him a single chance to utter a word nor take a step closer was a hard punch to his face. It feels as if he was trying to reach for you, but you efficiently dodged it with ease. It kind of.. annoys him.

"base on how you didn't say anything anymore, i assumed we're done here! well then, goodbye prince jungwon." you turned your heels towards the entrance, not bothering to waste any time at this goddamn ball. "i hope this will be the very last." you scoffed inside your mind, eager for the story to return to it's original route, and that the prince would soon deem you useless and such—returning to the female lead's arms.

hm, now where's your precious female lead? she should've appeared right now and right here, strike the pot while it's hot!

"i'm afraid i can't back down that easily, milady." jungwon took a few steps forward, wrapping his hand round your wrist as he spun you around to face his eyes filled with blazing determination. one that you specifically added on top of his profile so that your readers would kept it in mind.

your breath hitched down your throat as you remembered there's only two reasons he could have this; one that reminds you when he was at war, shouting at the top of his voice to encourage his soldiers as they push through the enemies, and another reason of it appearing is when he have to get what he wanted, or else all hell will break loose, chaos will ensue.

right, you're truly an idiot. staying a few years in this novel without any memories, and only for it to surface back when you stumble upon the library—dozens of books flickering a series of eccentric images in your mind. It had cause you to lose all memories of important details, only emerging everytime you are presented with a situation you couldn't comprehend. such as when you forgot that the female lead had memory problems and such.

"i'll only present this choices to you, milady. since you tremendously intrigued me over how well spoken you were and fascinating indeed—" bitch, you don't even know how you had the sudden ability to confront him but you were just sure as hell that you don't want to ruin your own novel. no fucking way.

you can't let him have the upper hand on you.

"let me go." irritated to your core, you tried untangle Jungwon's tight grasp on your wrist but he won't budge even an inch which only had you fuming in anger. "i said let me go, bitch!"

the crowd emits a series of gasps and murmurs as you spun around—twisting the prince's arms which had him yelping in pain, and ultimately pinning him onto the ground. with rage consuming you that nothing was going in your way, you slammed your hands on the both side of his head. clenching your jaw and gritting your teeth as you emphasised each word. "you are one a dumb hell of a bitch, when i said i do not want to see you anymore. i mean it. so—"

"so what?" his smug look resurfaces, one that emerges whenever he was being challenged. yes, do that! he should despise you, not take an interest in you! he should loathe you so much that he can't even gaze at you for a second. excitement surged through your veins as you open your mouth, preparing for the last blow.

"so, get lost. just because you're a prince doesn't mean every girl would fall for you, idiot."

an even more louder gasp emits from the crowd as they clearly heard what you said, their jaw gaping and some covering their mouths with their hands as their mind are now bombarded with random questions over how exceedingly brave you are to insult the royal prince, and of what fate will you met now that you've done such an atrocious act.

a low giggle sent shivers down your spine, and goosebumps to riled over your neck as you realise the prince under you had the widest smirk on his face. you frowned deeply, he shouldn't be smirking! he should be fuming in anger and throwing you out of the palace at this moment. so why?!...

"oh milady, how truly fascinating you are." you let out a loud yelp when he grabbed both of your wrists, pulling you closer to his face—a dangerous close proximity against his fluttering eyelashes and lips that your breath caught up in your throat which causes your cheeks to heated up in embarrassment of what kind of position you two were in right now. "i like you, you would certainly be a perfect fit to be by my side."

"what?!" you exclaimed, jaws dropping and eyes about to pop out at his very words. "i don't want to be by your side—"

"a lady like you, i'm afraid to say, intrigues me very much..." Jungwon shots a kittenish wink right through your heart. "be my wife, milady. i'll show you how good I can be for you."

#「 talesofyuan 」 fics #did i. a side character became the male lead's wife?!#enha #enhypen #enhypen x reader #enha imagines #enha x reader #enhypen oneshots #enhypen scenarios #enha fanfic #enhypen x female reader #enha fluff #jungwon smut #enhypen fluff #enha smau #enhypen jungwon #yang jungwon

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nouvxllev · 4 months

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the girl across your street || p5 (FINAL)

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Fem!Reader

Summary: You spent half of your life waiting for the right person to just step into your life and take over your heart by storm, someone who would think of you when they see a shooting star, someone who'd paint canvases of your face so the world would know who considered you greater than the Mona Lisa, someone who cherished you oh so dearly. Now, you can happily say with all your heart, you found her.

Words: 4.4k

Warnings: restating my statement on the previous chapter, this is the longest chapter of all lol

a/n: got a lovely suggestion from @ajortga (check out their stories btw, theyre amazing!) and an anon request for this part! i appreciate them and i wrote it to the best of my abilities.

part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || masterlist.

'...I still got love for you

Your braids like a pattern

Love you to the moon and to Saturn

Passed down like folk songs

The love lasts so long...'

"There's my favorite actress of all time, Jenna goddamn Ortega!"

You shouted with your arms out, ready for a hug, while running over to Jenna in the freezing cold. She was clad in a puffy hoodie and comfortable jogging pants, and she had her beanie on, wrapped around her head along with her own pair of headphones, preparing for the impact of your body-crushing hug.

"Y/n, y/n! No, slow down!" she screamed before toppling down to the snowy ground along with you, your arms wrapped around hers as you laughed together in harmony.

She sat up, your body going in rhythm with hers, "You really love that line, don't you?" She chuckled before cupping your cheeks with her hands. She muttered a quiet sorry, noticing how you flinched at the cold touch.

"Hey, you've finally accomplished your goal. You deserve it, Jenna." You loved saying her name, no amount of terms of endearment could ever beat the love and devotion you had for it.

Jenna looked at you, a smile covering her face as her dimples took over and her freckles became more visible to you, a sense of hopeless romance reflected in both of your eyes before pulling you in with her hands and planting her lips against yours.

It hasn't been one day since you last kissed her and oh how you missed the taste of her lips on yours. It's like your problems melted away by her scent and the taste of her lipbalm.

Before you knew it, you and Jenna had become the IT couple of the year. It even surprised you how the world knew the both of you were dating in the first place considering how Jenna never really posts on social media about her personal life and neither do you. But with how paparazzis work and how Jennas fans work harder than the devil, you can see now why your relationship with Jenna got blasted online.

Now, the two of you were the global love team, featured in commercials, advertisements for certain brands, and even you trying a hand at acting. You occasionally made appearances as Jenna's love interest in a show, though your role was more of a background character, the audience always loved seeing you together with Jenna.

In each film you directed, Jenna was sure to be in it, and she always became the character you couldn't bear to kill off even with a gun to your head.

Jenna always assured you that it was perfectly fine if her character was killed off since she's an amazing actress who pulls all her stunts so flawlessly, but watching her act getting shot in the head, stabbed, or possibly tortured in the horror movies you were set to direct? Just right in front of you? Hell, you'd rather do that to yourself with no pay.

But of course, like Jenna always ranted to you about, the entertainment industry was ass. Jenna warned you after you guys made it official that you'll be under the spotlight for a couple months, or even years. You couldn't go outside for even a minute without seeing a paparazzi literally in the bushes with a huge goddamn camera as if you can't see them. But if that was the price to pay just for Jenna to be beside you at all times, you'd deal with it even if you'll have paparazzi surrounding your coffin soon.

"Y/n?" she said, waving her hands in front of you, as if the only thing keeping you grounded was your tight grip on her waist. "I have something to tell you."

"Yeah? Yeah, sorry, what is it?"

"I'm moving in with you."

"What?"

Damn, you were certainly not ready for that.

"If— If that's okay, of course—"

"It's always okay, it's more than okay, Jenna!" You took her hands into yours, shaking them with excitement. "When are you moving? Actually, why are you moving?"

"It's been months into our relationship, y/n. I don't like how you always drive to my apartment every day just to see me." She stood up, lifting you by your grip, "also, I'm moving next week. I still have a schedule to clean up on."

You stood up alongside her, walking backward while facing Jenna as she walked beside you. "But driving to your apartment is my favorite part of the day, Jenna."

She sighed, "Okay, you choose, driving miles to my apartment or waking up beside me?"

"Definitely the latter." You picked, way too instantly, pointing a finger at her and clicking your tongue while she laughs.

"See? It'll be fun. For the both of us." She ran beside you then took your hand, pushing her body to be against yours as you smiled under your breath. Oh, how you loved being in her presence.

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The two of you approached the front door, kicking off your shoes while Jenna placed hers gently near the entrance. You turned on the lights as you headed for the kitchen, calling out, "You want something to drink, Jenna?" while noticing Jenna was still at the doorway.

She immediately turned the corner upon hearing your voice. A small smile played on her lips as she looked over at you, one of your hands on your hips as you scanned the refrigerator for ingredients. "I'm good. Thanks, y/n."

"Make yourself at home, Jenna. Since you are moving in," you said, glancing over your shoulder. You noticed Jenna looking around your house, finding the interior and atmosphere both familiar and yet vaguely new.

"You got it fixed?" she called out after noticing the DSLR camera you always loved and adored on top of the coffee table. You had it fixed for the holidays and for Jenna, of course, considering how both of you always enjoyed making videos with it in the past. You figured it was time to revive those memories.

"Yup! I had to. Its got my treasured moments in it." You approached her. After scanning your near-empty refrigerator, you took the DSLR camera in your hands and handed it to her. "I wanted to do a Christmas special on it, this time, with you on here."

"Christmas special?" She looked up at you, smiles and all. You remained the same for her—the one who always loved making videos, even if you were too scared to post them online or just didn't have a reason to. Nonetheless, you gave your best in those videos, and it truly brought out your happiest side.

"Didn't even know that was possible. I mean, no offense, but this looked like it got run over by a bullet train." She fiddled with your camera, turning it on and scrolling through the photos and videos. She was surprised to find old videos she hadn't seen the last time she turned it on.

You chuckled at Jenna's comment. "Okay, I'll admit it was pretty busted, but I found a technician who worked wonders on it. And about the Christmas special, well, it's going to be the first video I filmed in a long while."

"Long while? You haven't filmed something in this?" She looked at you, concern filling her eyes. She always knew you were the one in the friendgroup always recording a moment, even in the past she had heard, so why stop?

You sat down with her, "Ever since you left, I haven't been able to record. Even if I did, I'd just delete it anyway. Nothing is ever perfect without you, Jenna. I didn't realize how much it meant to me until I couldn't bring myself to do it without you." Your voice dwindled down into a whisper as you took her free hand that was beside yours, gently grazing your thumb on her palm. The vulnerability in your voice was something Jenna liked about you, how you spoke your mind whenever you were with her.

"I never knew," Jenna admitted, her fingers gently intertwining with yours. "I'm sorry, y/n."

You nodded, a small smile playing on your lips before you checked your phone for the time. "Okay, sappy moment over!" You immediately stood up, putting your phone in your pocket, "I have to go and buy some groceries. Wanna to come, Jenna?"

"I'll stay if it's alright." She assured you, chuckling at how fast you got over the moment so quickly.

"More than alright. I won't be long anyway." You headed for the doorway, putting on your boots and coat, your hand already on the doorknob until you heard Jenna call out your name.

"Y/n! You forgot something!" She called out, approaching you with headphones in hand.

You looked over at her, already smiling at the fact that she was more than an inch smaller when you put on your boots. "Oh, right," you said before cupping her cheeks and giving her a quick peck on the lips, completely ignoring the fact that she was already handing you your headphones.

You gave a little wave and a quick goodbye before going out and closing the door behind you.

"Your headphones—!" Jenna called out before you were already running across the street with your hands in your pockets. Honestly, she was more surprised with your ability to forget everything in your vicinity rather than how you walked so fast.

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Your voice from the camera echoed throughout your bedroom, the room where the both of you had confessed your love for each other. Jenna laid comfortably on your bed, the window opened as cold air flowed into the room, and your camera held up high by her hands. She was watching an old video you had filmed before, you and Jenna in her old home, filming a cooking video, she’d think you’d call it.

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"Weeelcome to—hey Jenna, what should we name our cooking show?" You picked the camera up from the camera as it started recording. You went over to Jenna who was already prepping the ingredients needed, even she was in get-up, an apron and all. You contemplated if you could quickly go to the store and buy a chefs hat for her.

Jenna glanced up from her task, her eyes going to the camera before going to you. "Maybe just our names together? Jenna and Y/n."

You lowered the camera a slight bit, the perspective looking a little wonky, "But Jenna, that's so boring! We need more pizzaz." You looked at Jenna who was screaming towards the kitchen and the cupboards to check where her knife went.

"Then have you got something in mind?" She sharply asked, turning her heel around, "Have you, somehow, seen my knife? I swear it was just around the sink."

"Yeah, okay, great point, I have nothing as well." You placed down the camera on the counter, using a jar of whatever behind to keep it from falling down. "Here," you said with a cheeky smile as you presented the knife as if you were kneeling before a queen, and Jenna could only give you an unimpressed look.

You helped Jenna for a hot minute before turning to the camera once again, your full body being shown and a certain someone who was outside of view "Today, we're baking cookies—Jenna, c'mere." You held your hand to Jenna who wasn't in frame.

Jenna, still holding an unimpressed expression, walked over to where you were standing, joining you as you both appeared side by side in the frame. You appeared comically taller in the camera than Jenna, making you laugh just slightly before the shorter one punched you in the gut.

"Alright, anyway, let's bake some cookies!" You clasped your hands together, and Jenna could only look at you with eyes that conveyed love and adoration, wondering how you never noticed it.

Jenna picked up the camera and whispered, a little bit too loudly into the camera, "Side note, we have little to no experience at all at baking," she said, "We have absolutely no idea what we're doing!" You screamed from the background, already mixing in the ingredients, making her laugh before yelling that you made the wrong step.

"We're winging it, Jenna! God, who knew we could be such good bakers?" You exclaimed while mixing everything up, your hand was getting tired by how you whisked everything at such random paces, but Jenna didn't mind.

Everything was going smoothly, and perfectly Jenna could say so herself before her face scrunched up in confusion when you accidentally added salt instead of sugar.

Jenna's eyes widened, her warnings to stop you were a bit too late as you had already added half of the cup into the mixture. "Wait, oh fuck, y/n, y/n! That's a whole cup of salt!" She exclaimed, throwing her body against you as she tried to grab your arm that was pouring the sugar, but it was already too late.

You paused mid-mix, staring at Jenna, then at the bowl with a horrid expression. "Shoot!" You immediately, in instincts you'd defend until your dying days, dove your hand right into the mixture, as if your hand could magically pull out the tiniest ass bits of salt grains.

Jenna with all her might, restrained herself from bursting into laughter, "Okay, that's just so wrong, you can't just—!"

"Alright, alright!" You pulled your hands from the mixture, putting them up in the air in surrender as the gooey texture of incorporated eggs, flour, milk, and whatever was in there went down from your sleeves.

"Let's just make another batch." You turned to her, "let's just make another batch," you repeated.

"Y/n, we went through 3 batches already."

A moment of silence you both had as both of you looked at the batter you two worked hard on. Before a playful fight completely outraged from the both of you when you started to hand paint Jenna's face from the batter, creating silly drawings on her face as she ran away from you armed with a spatula to fend you off.

In the end, the both of you completed your task of baking cookies while using the same batch, and, well, they turned out... nice. On the camera, they looked really nice, and they kinda even smelled good from afar.

"Annnd, it's done!" You exclaimed, and Jenna tilted the pan slightly to give the camera a preview of the cookies.

After a bit of banter from the both of you, a minute passed by, and you two were holding cookies.

"They look... edible enough to eat anyway," Jenna said, inspecting them before looking towards you with your own cookie. "Cheers?"

"Cheers!" you echoed, holding up your cookie to Jenna's in a mock toast. The camera captured the moment as both of you took a bite simultaneously. And how your faces contorted into disgust.

"Y/n, just take it out, even I can't swallow this."

"Okay, good choice, oh god—!"

The last thing the camera recorded before it fell was you and Jenna quickly spitting out the bites into a nearby trash can and rushing over to the sink, pushing each other as you tried to turn the faucet on and rinse off the disgusting taste you both had in your mouth.

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Jenna laughed heartily as she scrolled through the numerous videos you both had filmed over the past months with the camera in her hand. She couldn't believe that your entire bond had been created over this camera—how you wanted to become a director and how she wanted to become an actress. It was surprising how well the both of you fit with each other, down to your interests.

She kept watching the videos you had filmed for the both of you. Jenna even went out of her way to roam around your room, looking for memory cards to see what other videos you both had done. That was until she opened a certain drawer in your table lamp, tucked away all the way to the end. She couldn't have spotted it if she hadn't opened it all the way.

Handwritten notes, letters, wilted flowers, keychains, an abundance of printed polaroid photos, and photos in general that you had kept, intending to give them to Jenna. These mementos had been tucked away in this drawer for months on end.

She didn't want to pry, but a part of her was drawn to the crumpled letter that stood out among the rest. When she opened it, it had pen scribbles and stains from what she assumed were tears.

The letter read,

To my Jenna To my dearest To Jenna

To the girl across my street, (9/27/2020)

You shouldn’t be the one I should be writing a love letter to at 1 in the morning, even if I know in my bones I’ll be writing letters for you until I rest for eternity. You shouldn’t be the one that keeps me up at night wondering if you’ll ever come back until now. You shouldn’t be the one that I subject my undying love to, the love that I kept reserved all these years, and yet you arrive and suddenly, all of it is yours. You shouldn’t be the one for me at all. But you are, and I hate that you’re everything I want in my life. I shouldn’t be mad at you Jenna. In fact, I love you. I love you so much, it hurts as I write this. I love you so much, I can’t look at myself anymore wondering what I would’ve done to keep you moving away from my life. Ever since I saw you, I felt like nothing in my life mattered more than being with you, even if I knew that was impossible. Well, until you suddenly picked me up after a horrible fall. I knew from everyone in my town that you were the most private person, you never opened up to them even if they always kept coming to your doorstep with leftovers from their family dinner. You told me that it was a bit overwhelming, seeing your fridge pile up everyday with everybody’s leftovers, you even got a lollipop from a kid. From our conversations, it was those random moments you told me from your life that I cherished the most, even if it was just something you remembered out of the blue. I fell mad in love with you, head over heels. No one would know falling in love with a great force other than me with you. I realized that when you invited me to your family's house for Christmas after you found out about the relationship I had with my parents, since then, I knew the love I had for you was soon going to drown me until my heart was filled with your name.

The way your family welcomed me with open arms as if I was someone, finally someone a part of something, I couldn’t bear to walk away anymore. The way you had introduced me to your siblings and cousins with a smile that I could only mistake for as a star, the way you had made me a part of your family, the way you made your family love me the way they loved you. I hate it, Jenna. I hate how your eyes brought revelry upon those who are grieving, how your touch brought forth the saints buried in the hearts of sinners, how your laugh would make every great poet struggle to illustrate the sound of your voice, how your soul brings every angel and saint to shame. I hate how you made me so happy, how you made the happiest side of me shine. I hate how I hate none of these things at all. I love everything about you, I can’t just pretend like I don’t. I love you, Jenna. I love you with all of my heart, each bone in my body yearns for yours, your very being became the muse of every thought, my soul is eternally yours forever, why did I let it be that way? And why until now, It’s still yours to keep? To rip apart? Yours to silently remind you that there’s someone out there who had their heart programmed to beat for you, and for only you. The day you left, I only realized how you were so important to me. It’s maddening how that was the first thought came to mind, how I fell so in love with your soul I completely forgot how you left me in pieces. How you didn’t text me, how you didn’t call me, how you didn’t even do the bare minimum as knocking on my door or maybe leaving a note to say you were leaving entirely. It’s been exactly a year since you left, and I haven’t stopped thinking about you ever since. A part of you still stayed with me, or maybe I just looked for you everywhere, hoping one day you’d appear beside me like nothing ever happened and grace me once again with that smile of yours that would last me a lifetime. Everything reminds me of you, Jenna. Every place, every home, every street, every film, every note that I hear from a song you’d used to sing to me with your stupid guitar you always wanted to master but never got the chance to. I’m in love with you, Jenna. I’m so in love with you to the point I can’t say it to your face. I’m yours forever more, and I hate that I am.

From, y/n. Happy Birthday, Jenna.

I wished I confessed to you more earlier.

"Jenna! Jenna!" A voice she loved, loved now more than anything, quickly pulled her out of her thoughts, banging against her own door. She pulled herself up from your bed, running towards the door in a hurry while holding the letter in her hands.

Jenna unlocked the door to see you. The love of her life, someone who wrote thousands of letters for her every day since she left, someone who had the stupidest idea to spend every inch of her savings to go buy her the headphones she always wished to own, someone who was now standing in the freezing cold.

"Jenna— Oh, Jenna, I forgot my headphones, and—and it was freezing like shit. God, I never knew there was a snowstorm coming in. I'm sorry I took so long I—"

You were cut off mid-sentence by her, who pulled you by your collar into a passionate kiss. The warmth of your house, the warmth of Jenna's body against yours, the warmth of her lips that brought every inch of your body to heaven was everything you needed to calm down. If only you had paused for a minute to take a glance at Jenna when you were rambling, you could only see her eyes in a lovesick gaze for you, you could see how much she loved you, you could see how she was everything you perceived her to be.

"Y/n," Jenna whispered, her voice a soft melody that resonated in the quiet room as you wrapped your arms around her waist.

You smiled, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Jenna's ear. "What… What was that for?"

"I love you," she whispered under her breath. "I love you," she added, one more time, as if you were going to disappear if she didn't.

"I love you too, Jenna. What's going on?"

"I just—I just love you so much, y/n. I always said I love you, but never added so much or expressed how much I loved you." Jenna was always straightforward when it came to talking. It was her nature, her style of sentence, how she spoke aloud, the quiet confidence she had whenever she spoke to someone; it was one of the characteristics she had that made you fall in love with her. But now, she couldn't express herself in the way she wanted to. She did, but it only fell short. The amount of love she had for you was something she could never express properly, even with a dictionary in her hands, it couldn't be possible.

It only took you a minute before figuring what had happened.

"You... you read the letter?"

"Yes—Yes, I read the letter, y/n. All of it."

"Well, what'd you think?" You almost thought that you had discarded the letters you wrote for her, but you kept the most important one of all.

She pulled you into a soul-crushing hug, "I love you. I'm sorry, I just love, love, love, you, y/n. I'm sorry if I'm not enough for you."

"Jenna," you whispered, gently pulling back to look into her eyes, "You don't know how much you're more than enough for me. You don't know how much your smile just means everything to me, good or bad, and your love is everything I've ever wanted. I wouldn't have it any other way."

Jenna's gaze softened, and a relieved smile played on her lips. "I'm just afraid that my love might fall short, you know? That I couldn't express it the way you do."

You cupped her face, your thumb gently grazing her skin, admiring her freckles. "Your love is perfect, Jenna, it's yours. I don't need grand gestures or expressions to make me feel happy. I just need you—your love, your presence, and everything that makes you who you are. Just, please, don't change that just for me—or for anyone."

The both of you kissed, the middle of the night while the orange light coming off from the kitchen flickered. A kiss, you knew, lasted only for a second. Or maybe even a few seconds, but this kiss lingered like a memory that lasted forever, a picture that was photographed and kept in a sealed case, stars that die but explode into a gorgeous nebula, a kiss that's worth for a thousand lifetimes.

Afterward, both of you watched the videos that you had filmed whenever and wherever. Jenna noted your habit of bringing the DSLR everywhere, capturing snippets of your private life where she wasn't in the frame. However, you quickly threw the camera against the headboard when she came across the holy grail of you trying out some skateboard tricks, where you horribly fell and got various scars on your leg.

In that moment, both of you probably knew you were going to stay with each other no matter what happened, or what challenges you faced. The way you both kissed then, in the doorway, was the most romantic kiss you had shared in your entire life. Probably not the most ideal of spots to decide to marry someone, but then again, who was the insane one who dated the girl across her street?

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Invisible string.

That was the saying for those who believe there's a string of fate binding people who were destined to be together, or for anyone who was in love for that matter. It's a sweet thing, you can say, considering how you're one of the people who truly believed in it. You spent half of your life waiting for the right person to just step into your life and take over your heart by storm, someone who would think of you when they see a shooting star, someone who'd paint canvases of your face so the world would know who considered you greater than the Mona Lisa, someone who cherished you oh so dearly. Now, you can happily say with all your heart, you found her.

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a/n: aaahhh this series has come to a close, thank you for all the love and support! now i can finally do another series with JO's characters or maybe just oneshots. (i have a fuck ton of drafts.)

#jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega #jenna marie ortega

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lunerna21 · 4 months

Text

***I meant to do a post for Chapter 1 of Book 7 earlier but it’s been super chaotic with the holidays 😭***

***Slightly longer post but I just want to get my feelings out lol***

BUT I do wanna vent about specific parts of this chapter cause I’m constantly on edge waiting for the release of Chapter 2 (even though I’ll be crying and hyperventilating throughout the next chapter)

First of all, let me start off with how much I love seeing Sebek have a bitch fit from us calling Malleus Tsunotaro

Like dude basically had an aneurysm and tantrum over it and I fucking love his reaction 😭

(Also totally not loving the attention from Malleus in the very beginning of the chapter 🙈)

Being such a huge fan of Sleeping Beauty I’m thriving on the focus of it for this Book and I can’t wait to see where it takes us ❤️

BUT BUT There were two parts that had me almost to the point of losing my goddamn mind

1. The idea that we could be leaving Ace, Deuce and Grim

When Deuce and Grim started reminiscing and getting upset about us leaving and Grim being alone again

JUST THE ABSOLUTE HEARTBREAK I FELT IN THIS SCENE WAS AWFUL LIKE TWST WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

CAN WE GIVE OURSELVES A BREAK WE KEEPING GOING THROUGH SO MUCH SHIT TOGETHER

BUT THEN ACE'S REACTION IS SENDING ME TO THE HEAVENS

I'M SO CONFUSED AT ACE'S REACTION LIKE CMON TELL ME HOW YOU ACTUALLY FEEL

Throughout the whole series we've always seen Ace consoling us and keeping his positive outlook, and I'm DYING to see how he reacts to us leaving when we have a guaranteed way home

I feel like once he know's our time is coming to an end, Ace is gonna be inconsolable and just completely break down and beg us to not leave

AND I WILL NOT BE OKAY

IF I SEE ALL THREE OF THEM CRYING ABOUT US LEAVING OR THE OTHER STUDENTS IM GONNA BE IN THERAPY FOR WEEKS

I wish we got to see him more vulnerable but I feel like Yana is just cooking something up to DEVASTATE the fandom

AND THE ACEYUU LOVER THAT I AM IM HOPING WE GET SOME DEVELOPMENT CAUSE THIS LITTLE SHIT IS SO GOOD AT MASKING HIS FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS

LIKE CMON ACE TRAPPOLA LET ME KNOW HOW YOU FEEL

2. Malleus speaking about this past

LET ME TELL YOU MALLEUS DRACONIA NEEDS SO MUCH GODDAMN LOVE

THE AMOUNT OF TIME MALLEUS WAS ALONE AND HE WAS USED TO IT IS ABSOLUTELY AWFUL

(Also screw that last option like why would I ever pick that after what he told us)

Just the fact as he was telling his story and we pointed it out and he was just like "Oh, I guess I was" and acknowledged it

Does everyone need to be so traumatized by their past in this game like goddamn the whole goddamn school needs a therapist

Just reminiscing on his reactions to spending time with us in the main story and side stories, and how much he enjoyed being included just makes the past events more special with him 😭

....And his reaction afterward we told him we'd found a way home...

WE'RE JUST ADDING ON MORE TO HIS LONELINESS AND I HATE IT CAN'T WE GIVE MALLEUS LOVE AND A BREAK

AND THEN THE WAY IT ENDED JUST SENDS ME INTO OVERDRIVE EVERY GODDAMN TIME

.....Malleus facing the horrible reality that everyone is slowly fading from his life and he has no way to prevent this is just....

When I tell you I'm going to be in therapy after Chapter 2, I will be so inconsolable that I will be in shambles for a while

I'm glad I'm also caught up to the Chapter 6 on the JPN server, but having to now relive everything in the EN server I will not be okay

Now I will sit in and cry impatiently as I wait for a date for the newest Chapter (ALSO MANIFESTING MORE CHAPTERS NEXT MONTH FOR BOTH SERVERS EVEN THOUGH IT HURTS)

Enjoying the rest of your day~~!! *walks off in tears*

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #malleus draconia #ace trappola #deuce spade #twst book 7 #twst book 7 spoilers #WHAT MORE CAN I SAY #IM ALL OVER THE PLACE

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cressthebest · 7 days

Text

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 17

chapter 30:

1. nightmare/dream evan: “"Even the best climbers can fall, lover boy."” 😟 i-

2. the reoccurring dream about evan is DEVESTATING AND GUTWRENCHING every. single. time.

3. “"I know what it is to have a best friend—a really good one, in fact—and they tend not to blame you for the things you can't forgive yourself for."” deep breath, deep breath, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

4. 🥰🥰 wolfstar!!

5. ““Any memory you lose, I'll hold onto. Any memory you invent is just—it's real in some other life, how about that?”” DEEP SOBBING

6. 😟 wdym remus is the one in azkaban?? wdym?? WDYM????

7. 😟 james’ reasons for showering six times HURT

8. PANDORA MY BELOVED!!! she’s literally a godsend

9. AWWWW the first person he ever gives a finger/hand kiss to is pandora because he thinks she’s worthy of such respect!! i’m literally gonna cry

10. (pandora smelling like lemons is so canon, fight me)

11. 😒 ew walburga and orion mention

12. one second, reg is like, when we get back home, i need space, the next second, he notices james has his glasses back and goes straight to kissing him. sir 😭😭

13. regulus is trying to push away, but he’s constantly drawn to james like a magnet. it’s going to be a beautiful love whenever regulus is ready to continue with james

14. “"Use me. Have me, then discard me. Hurt me. I don't care, Regulus. You can do anything to me, and I'll thank you for it every time."” FOING FERAL OVER THIS

15. “”A slap across the face is just a hand cradling a cheek with too much force,"” 😧

16. STOP WITH THE GODDAMN PARTING GIFTS!! MY HEART CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE

17. sirius kissing the inside of the mask so remus will always be kissing him when it’s on. i-

18. i physically am not okay with wolfstar having to part. like, not okay at all.

19. !!!!! demisexual sirius! my buddy! i feel so seen! the way he has handled sex and wanting sex with others and everything about that is so reminiscent of my experiences and it’s wonderful to be seen

20. NOOOO WOLFSTAR!! MY BABIES!!!

21. sirius:memory loss as james:passage of time

22. EFFIE AND MONTY!!! LETS GOOOOO

chapter 31:

1. LILY!!

2. lily being the best to have sex with cause “no one does it like her” >>>>>>>>>>>>>>

3. dumbledore is a lying bitch. he told lily that remus was executed. BITCH

4. dorcas >>>>>>>>>

5. 😧 FABIAN AND GIDEON’S DEATH WAS A SACRIFICE MADE BY DUMBLEDORE SO DORCAS COULD LIVE??? HES EVEN MORE CORRUPT THAN PRESIDENT COIN

6. i love how dorcas sees dumbledore as the lesser of two evils (other being riddle) and has never once been deluded enough to think dumbledore was a good guy

7. 😟 biological warfare….

8. oh no. dorlene or dorlily endgame? shit shit shit

9. okay wait, i don’t think it’s gonna be dorlily endgame. (watch these predictions bite me in the ass later)

10. awww lily has a petunia tattoo

11. no no NO NO NO REMUS BUDDY! ARE THEY GONNA EXPERIMENT ON HIM??

12. i- i wasn’t prepared for my favorite character to be PHYSICALLY TORTURED

13. authors note just let me know that it’s not dorlily endgame, and they’re just buddies

#dorcas meadowes #dorcas my beloved #lily mention!!!!!#lily evans #albus dumbledore #remus lupin #demisexual sirius black #sirius black #wolfstar #marauders #regulus black #james potter #fanfic #jegulus #crimson rivers #sunseeker #starchaser #pandora rosier #pandora lovegood

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sageyxbabey · 15 days

Text

Whiskers & Wishes - Gaz x Reader

jesus christ, i can't believe i'm doing this...

two of the images used are renders done by loneghostwolf88 and BettyBRenders3D

Gaz x F!Reader, eventual smut (final chapter only).

this is: Chapter 1

Summary:

Gaz knows you very well - he's been in love with you for the better part of a year. So when he jilts the wrong woman and ends up being turned into a cat for his troubles, surely the person who knows him best will recognise him, even like this... right?

You know Gaz very well - you've been pining over him for the past year. So when he disappears without a trace and a strange cat appears at your apartment, the little coincidences that remind you of Kyle are just your anxious mind making false connections... right?

Read on AO3 or below the cut!

Kyle kept his head down as he made his way to the pub near your apartment, rain slipping down the slope of his nose.

This was his last night of leave, and he had spent the entire day with you, the same way he had for each time off he’d had for the past year of his life. Outside of his task force, you had become his closest friend. To his heart, you had become something more. You were the lightness in his chest, threatening to float away with his heart in tow every time you smiled. You were the warmth that settled over his skin when you hugged him hello and laughed at his quips. You were safety and peace. You were still and mundane compared to his working life. And with a job like his, God only knows how magical the mundane could be.

But he could never tell you this. He couldn’t tell you this because you were his best friend, and you had been for a year now. A year spent spinning in your orbit and eclipsing you in sweet, soft moments. He had flirted, he had touched, he had watched. And now, in this dance of yours, he had spun you out and waited for you to keep the waltz going, but the longer he stood with arms outstretched, the less likely it seemed you would spin back into him. Being with you but not being with you was the sweetest torture. Your blade was carving him up, but all he wanted was to kiss the hand that held it.

Sergeant Garrick was trained to hold up under pressure, but Kyle was about to crack. He knew he had to move on for his and your sakes. For better or for worse, Kyle needed you in his life now, and if the only way he’d get to keep you was as a friend, so be it. So, he pushed open the door of the Crossroads Hotel and bought himself a goddamned drink.

And when he finished that one, he bought another.

And another.

A hand grazed his wrist when he raised the bottle to his full lips for one last swig.

“You’re drinking awfully quickly there, handsome.” Kyle turned to find the owner of the voice. She was nothing like you.

Maybe that would make it easier.

He leaned one hip against the bar and grinned, “Is this you offering to get my next one?”

“Maybe, what are you offering me in return?” The woman purred.

“Hmm… Where to start? I have several talents, you know.” Kyle moved in closer as the stranger laughed. This was why he was here. He needed to try to shift his attention to people who would want him back. This bout of flirting went back and forth like a tennis match, and felt like one, too. It was performative, a hollow game. When she excused herself to the bathroom, Kyle was on his sixth drink and still just as drunk on thoughts of you.

When he turned to scan the bar (hypervigilance was a serious work hazard), he spotted someone else who looked so similar to you… How could he resist? It was a terrible idea, but he was already feeling terrible. He approached this new player and started the same kind of game as he had before. His only prize was frustration at himself.

“Well, you don’t waste time,” a sharp voice groused – the woman from earlier.

In his self-pity and irritation, he said the words that he would both curse and praise himself for later. “No offence, but I don’t exactly owe you anything, do I?”

The woman cocked her head to the side, her smile just on the wrong side of inhuman. When her grey eyes locked onto his, he felt a shiver down his spine. “Fine. Since you’re so concerned with getting pussy, maybe you’d enjoy being one instead.”

Gaz let out a grunt as the woman’s palm smacked into the centre of his chest, an odd sensation spreading out from his heart to the tips of his fingers and toes. By the time he collected himself, both women he’d been speaking to were gone.

He was alone. Wonderful…

With a heavy sigh and a heavier heart, he closed his tab for the evening.

Shuffling back out into the cold and biting night air, Kyle made his way towards the end of the block. Nausea was setting in. God, how hard did that woman hit him? ‘ Clearly, the alcohol isn’t helping ,’ he thought, as an aching started in his head and joints.

Then, there was nothing but excruciating pain. If Gaz could’ve screamed, he would. But he could not breathe. He could not think. He felt like his bones were being pushed to breaking, like his skin was tightening in on itself.

Snap.

Now he screamed.

Crack, snap.

Holy shit, his bones were breaking. They must be because he knew that sound all too well. What the bloody hell was going on? Gaz moaned out in pain, shaky breaths getting smaller and tighter as he closed his eyes to try and brace through it.

As suddenly as it had started, it was over.

When he opened his eyes, everything looked… wrong. Colours were not what they should be, and things were too clear for this time of night. That streetlamp was also… a lot bigger than it had been a moment ago. Kyle went to stand before freezing when he caught a glimpse of himself.

Was that a fucking paw ? Why was it moving when he tried to move his left arm? Kyle swung his head around to see not his torso and two legs but a cat's body and a full, long-haired tail. A glossy brown-black coat of thick fur.

‘I didn’t think I’d had that much to drink…’ Kyle thought. He was dreaming. He must be dreaming. But he felt very much awake, very much in pain, and he knew he had not made it home yet. Oh God, home. How the fuck was he supposed to get home? His clothes and belongings were not lying around after his… episode? Transformation? The half-an-hour taxi back to his place was now out of the question, and – assuming this was real and he wasn’t just having a fit in the gutter – he was not about to get very far on foot. On paw?

“Shit…” Kyle tried to mutter.

“Meow…” was what he heard.

Oh… you’ve got to be having a fucking laugh.

He was a soldier, a problem-solver. He just needed to think and find a way out of this. He needed help. He needed…

You.

He’d come from your apartment, not two blocks away. Your building was pet-friendly, and he remembered the little dog door leading onto your balcony. Bless you – even when you didn’t know it, you were helping him. If he could get to your apartment, get inside, and figure out how to convince you who he really is, you could help him.

If this were all a dream, he would wake up in his bed tomorrow morning and laugh it off.

If this was real, you were his only shot at getting out of this mess.

Moving was strange. Kyle’s brain was thinking about moving his limbs the same way he usually would, but the sensations he was getting back were all wrong: the strange tingling from the wind moving in his fur and whiskers, the lightness of his body, and his shifted centre of gravity.

He was grateful for how easily he could jump once he reached your block – scaling up the tree to your balcony with sharp claws. In one leap, he landed at the glass door. He ducked his head into the plastic dog door…

It did not budge. Locked. Shit .

‘Hey!’ Kyle called out in his head. A loud ‘mrrow’ came out instead.

– – – – –

You startled at a strange flurry of taps and yowls as you tugged on your sleep shorts. You followed the noise with cautious steps out into your living room and breathed a sigh of relief when you spotted the culprit. The cutest little long-haired cat with wide hazel eyes stood on its hind legs, tail swishing eagerly with front paws pressed into your sliding balcony door.

“Aww! Hi there, kitty!” you cooed. In response, you received a string of pathetic meows.

“Do you live here? Did you get stuck outside, silly?”

Your building was pet-friendly. You had a few neighbours with cats who liked to laze around outside on the warm pavement. The cat batted a paw at the small dog door. “Demanding little thing,” you laughed and reached down to unlock the flap. As soon as you did, your new guest darted through in a chocolate-coloured blur. The cat’s fur was shiny, and it looked well-fed. It was definitely not a street cat. ‘No collar…’ you thought, ‘Odd.’ You sent a quick message to your building tenants' group chat to see whose cat you’d accidentally acquired.

In the meantime, your fluffy friend was mrow -ing up a storm as though you’d personally offended them. You knelt down on the carpet and offered your hand for a sniff. “Hi, baby,” you cooed. The cat stopped meowing and stared at you, blinking. You gently scratched behind their ears, watching how their eyes closed and head tilted in pleasure.

— — —

He knew you didn’t realise it was him, but hearing you call him ‘baby’ in that soft voice had floored him for a moment.

He’d been chatting your ear off, hoping that something vaguely human-sounding would get through, to no avail. He was going to start thinking up Plan B, he swore, but then you’d kept cooing at him and scratching behind his ears – Oh, that feels very good, thank you – and before Kyle knew it, he’d leaned so far into your touch, he was flopped on his back, purring. You giggled sweetly, and Kyle felt his heart melting in his chest.

“Oh, what a sweet baby! You’re such a pretty girl,” you fussed.

Kyle’s eyes opened, and he let out an indignant chirp.

“Hang on, are you a girl?” He watched you lean forward with a surreptitious gaze before realising your intent. Kyle yowled and flailed away, but you had seen enough. “Oh, pretty boy. My mistake.”

You were completely unfazed.

This was the most mortifying moment of Kyle’s life.

In all the ways he’d imagined you seeing him naked for the first time, this was never one of them. Oh, God… was he technically walking around naked the whole time? No… ‘The fur counts as clothing! The fur counts as clothing! ’ he thought. That was the only way to stop himself from curling up into a ball and dying of embarrassment.

You’d gone back to patting him at some point during his existential crisis, complimenting his fluffy tail and chest. “What a handsome little man!” You praised, stroking a gentle finger down his nose.

He was going into cardiac arrest. He just knew it.

“Where do you live, little guy?”

Your question snapped Kyle back into action. With a chirp, he was up and running across your living room.

— — —

You watched the cat bound past your couch to sit in front of your TV console, right next to the framed picture of you and Kyle from the day you’d helped him move into his apartment. The cat just flicked his tail, looking at you almost expectantly.

“What?”

“Meow!”

“What!?”

He sniffed at the picture before turning back to you.

“That still doesn’t answer my question, mister.”

This time, the cat turned to paw at the photo of you and Kyle, and you jolted upright.

“No, no, no, we don’t touch that!” You took him into your arms and carried him back to your couch. He meowed in protest the entire time. “That’s a very special picture, pretty baby, so you leave that alone.” He flopped onto his side, the image of dejection at being denied the chance to cause chaos. You checked your phone to see responses from most of your neighbours; no one recognised the cat. “Well buddy,” you sigh, “Looks like you’re stuck with me for the moment. How do you feel about chicken for dinner?”

“Mrrp!” His tail twitched.

You narrated your cooking process to him, picking him up to show him the pans on the stove. Your little sous chef sniffed the air before giving his approval, but complained the second you put him back down. “What’s the matter?” you whispered. His pleading eyes bore into yours as he pawed at your calf. “You wanna come back up? Okay, you big baby.” You supported his weight with one arm, his front legs resting on your shoulder while he watched you cook, tail swishing lazily. Now and then, you pulled a strip of chicken off the grilled fillets and fed it to him, laughing as he licked your fingers clean. You ate your dinner on the couch as he sat beside you, staring at your face the whole time – strange cat…

You may as well enjoy this little fluffball before sending him on his way.

Your new friend gave a quiet chirp and nudged your hand where you had been absentmindedly scratching his chin. He rolled over to show you his belly when you looked down, blinking up at you expectantly.

“Wow,” you deadpanned. “I see how it is. You’re just using me for cuddles, huh?” You hesitantly ran your hand down his tummy, barely brushing the soft fur. You’ve had one too many cats lure you in with this trick, only to scratch and bite you when you give in and pat the sensitive spot. You pulled your hand away from his belly, not wanting to risk a finger. He wiggled and meowed at you – almost petulant in tone – and you returned your hand to his stomach, feeling a purr vibrate against your fingertips.

This odd fellow was changing your perception of the typical cat. “You are such a weird little guy!” He mrrped back at you and stretched out lazily, presenting more of his belly to you. You couldn't help but laugh. “Cheeky little bugger,” you muttered before pressing your face into the long fur of his chest, dropping obnoxiously loud kisses there whilst you scratched his sides. You reached up to rub behind his ears before sitting up to grab your phone.

“I’ve got to tell Kyle about you; he’s never going to believe this!” You starte dtyping out a message, but soon, a chocolate-coloured tail obscured your vision. Your new friend frantically meowed, demanding your attention.

You hushed him, stroking his back with a soothing hand until his cries ceased. You briefly re-read your texts with Kyle. Normally, he’d have told you he was home by now and maybe sent you a meme or two before heading to sleep. You hope he’s just knocked out after packing his bags to leave tomorrow morning. This deployment wasn’t supposed to be a long one, thank God.

You’d already started missing him before he left your apartment earlier today. You used his goodbye visits as an excuse to hold him tighter, like you could press him into your chest and keep him there if you tried hard enough.

Your eyes flicked to the time. It was getting late.

“Alright, pretty baby, I think it’s time for you to go home.” You picked up the cat and walked towards your balcony door, but he wriggles out of your grasp for the first time tonight, darting back to the couch. You kneeled next to the small cat flap, holding it open.

“Come on,” you coaxed. “You need to go home, little kitty. Your people will miss you!” The cat kept staring, unmoved, even as you pspsps to try and get him closer. You sighed, resigning yourself to leave the little plastic covering unlocked. “Fine, I guess you’ll leave on your own at some point.” You stand and make your way towards your bedroom before freezing in your tracks. You turned back to point a stern finger at your feline friend. “Do not. Shit. In my apartment.” You stared each other down in silence. Satisfied with your quiet agreement, you turned and crawled into bed.

Half an hour later, you were fast asleep when silent paws padded into your room and leapt onto your bed. You didn't feel it when a gentle weight sank into the pillow next to you, one paw stretched out towards your face.

#hoe... the things that you wrote about #kyle gaz garrick #gaz x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #cod x reader #call of duty #i can't believe i'm posting this jeSUs cHRiST what is wrong with me #i literally thought “hey what if gaz got turned into a cat”#and then no oNE STOPPED ME??!!?#YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO StOp mE??!!

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boydepartment · 8 months

Note

I'm back 😛✌️

I need more angst jayjay if you're up to it 😈

I had this jake request floating around my mind for awhile and then you started My Only Love(read the 1st chapter and loved it btw💕 The noodles in his pocket had me SCREAMING. And that predebut jake photo 🥺🥺) and I felt like it was the right time to send this through

Can you please write Jake breaking up with you?? Like an ugly break up?? Maybe his parents don't approve of your relationship? Maybe it is a fight blown out of proportion?? Maybe he doesn't love you anymore? Maybe he's moving thousand of miles away? Maybe he has to break up with you because he's an idol? Maybe he can't see a serious future with you? Maybe there was some infidelity???

I don't have specifics for the why. You can write whatever you want jayjay I just need you to make me cry 😈😈 please break my heart 🙏🙏🙏🙏

XOXO,

🧈🧈🧈

a/n: SO THIS WAS KINDA HARD FOR ME BC I REALLY LOVE JAKE AND FBOUEKGJNERKGNEK BUT I TRIED MY BEST!!!! i took the argument too far route 😅

Family Card- Jake Sim x Gn! Reader

MASTERLIST warnings- angst, cursing, jake is kinda mean in this??? but the reader also says things too, i ended up getting carried away during revision! wc- 1k

song- FREE AT LAST by PUP

“What did you really expect to get out of this?”

You looked down at the man who you’ve been dating even before he debuted. His hair was a mess and he leaned against his knees as he sat at the table.

“I expected my boyfriend to actually care when I tell him I want to visit home for a bit.”

Jake looks up at you, his eyes showing his plethora of emotions from the past 15 minutes. You both started getting really fed up with each other when you brought up wanting to take a trip back home… by yourself.

“I can’t believe you want to go without me.” He sounded dumbfounded, scoffing and getting up. This double standard has always frustrated you. Of course, you understood moving with Jake and taking this risk with him. But it bothered you, during his trainee days you were left alone for about a year. You never complained or held it against him. You were okay with secretly dating him, and you were okay with him living in a dorm with his friends. But the one time you wanted to go home by yourself, it was an issue for him.

“I checked your schedule! You are busy the days I want to go home!” You raised your voice slightly, you never wanted to go on a trip without him but sometimes life gets in the way. You and Jake were both well aware of that.

“Then wait until we can both go together!” He flips around, messing with his hair frantically. Both of you were in each other’s personal space.

“Just because you can’t see your family as much as you’d like that doesn’t mean I have to!” You poked his chest, the way his face fell for a split second showed you that you had fucked up.

“Wow.” He steps back from you, the look of anger coming right back. Even though you know you fucked up, you were still going to stand your ground.

“I am so sick… Of bending over backwards for YOUR schedule! No matter what it is, you always leave me last! You changed from the guy I started dating! I went with you to all your auditions, I supported you, I don’t complain about your life style-“

“Then go home and don’t come back if you’re so fucking unhappy with me!” Jake interrupted you; the silence overtook the dim kitchen.

The silence did not stay long, as you started up again, “I can’t even be unhappy with you if you are never fucking here in the goddamn first place!”

“I don’t know why this is MY fault, you knew exactly what you were getting into when you took this leap with me, maybe you were too stupid to think it through.” The man in front of you leaned against the counter, head in his hands.

“I’d say the initial idea itself was kinda stupid.” You crossed your arms mumbling, all you wanted was to go home, “what if you didn’t debut? And your parents just fucking wasted their money on you. You grew up in a privileged household where you could waste money like that for a stupid dream!”

Jake looked up at you again for a split second, “at least I knew what I wanted to do with my life! You haven’t even finished school! All you do is go to college and work like a fucking robot! Sometimes you don’t even feel human to me when I do see you! You have no clear goals in life and maybe if you did you wouldn’t be so fucking unhappy all the time!”

“You’re being mean…” Your voice broke, that strong tone faltering slightly.

Jake not noticing your demeaner falling spoke again, “oh, I’m being mean? Yeah, I’m sure your family is going to be thrilled to see the kid that walked out on them for a guy. At this point they’d probably not even open the door for you, then I would have to clean up your mess.”

You looked down at the floor, you weren’t able to see your socks clearly at all, your tears clouding your vision completely. He knew your family wasn’t keen on you leaving everything for Jake, especially because they knew what you have had to go through the past few years. You didn’t expect him to pull the family card on you, part of you didn’t blame him. You just pulled his family card a few minutes ago. You pulled the fact he gave up everything for his dream, and you let an ugly part of your human emotions take over. Taking a deep breath, you walked to your room. He didn’t follow you. As you packed your bag, you called customer service to try and change your flight back home to as soon as possible.

You were also going to make it a one-way ticket. This argument just solidified more that you weren’t happy with him anymore. Both you and Jake weren’t stupid kids anymore. Now adults, you both grew into two entirely different people. You don’t like the person he made you when you were around him now. You were not the same person you were previously, you felt unkind now. Your heart hated the person you were starting to become.

As you were put on hold Jake walked into your room, “what are you doing?” Hearing his voice sparked that fire in you again. Yet another wave of anger and ugly emotions hit you.

“I’m going home, I’d rather take a chance of them not taking me back than being unloved by you.” You spat and pushed past him; you ignored his calls to you. You ignored Jake trying to get you to come back. You ignored the man who you used to love. The person who loved him previously, who rooted for him, took chances for him, didn’t exist anymore. That person was replaced with you, someone who now felt unlovable and mean. You felt awful after this fight, you knew only time could heal you both. Just not together as a couple, you would have to heal separately.

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whataperfectwasteoftime · 8 months

Text

Common Grounds / Chapter 11

Pairing: Marcus Pike x f!reader

Rating: E (explicit smut, 18+ only)

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Derrick the Asshole Ex (needs his own warning), case stuff (any inaccuracies about how the FBI works is my own lack of research), two GODDAMN ADORABLE IDIOTS in love, unprotected PIV sex, feelings feelings FEELINGS FEELINGS FEELIGNSGS

Summary: Derrick does his damndest to ruin your night, but it turns out that one asshole can't stand in the way of....... love.

A/N: IDK it's 10:30 and I'm sleepy thanks everyone for encouraging me to finish this goofball of a fic but especially @littlebirdsbookshelf who is the loveliest of humans and beta read *most* of this chapter before I yeeted it out LOL. There will be an epilogue to follow!!! Thank you everyone for reading!

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Previous | Next

“This is quite the change for you,” your ex says condescendingly, looking around the gallery with an expression of disdain. “How the hell did you go from shilling your crap online to booking the nicest event space in the area?”

“Derrick, stop—”

“Oh, wait—I think I’ve figured it out,” the man sneers. “I like to do my research on who my ex-fiancée thinks she should fuck. Special Agent Pike, was it? Art Crimes, right? What a coincidence!”

Your heart seems to stop beating. Marcus’s head snaps toward the two of you, his eyes dark and full of warning.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you tell Derrick icily.

“She’s using you, you know,” Derrick continues, looking at your boyfriend with a glint in his eye. “It’s what she does. She can’t make it on her own, so she picks men who will bankroll her little hobby and then leaves them in the dust after she bleeds you dry.”

“That’s not true,” you say through clenched teeth. “You don’t know anything about me. Or him. Or us.”

“Don’t I?” he retorts. “What if I were to, say, make a scene right now? Start yelling that this entire place is swarming with cops? Would that be a problem?”

You panic, eyes shooting to Marcus in horror. It looks as though he’s about to say something, but he pauses, blinking rapidly a few times—listening intently. Shit.

Derrick laughs. “Oh, isn’t that rich? You’re perfect for each other. You’re using him to get a leg up, and he’s using you for his little sting operation.”

Your ex’s volume is getting louder and louder. Heads are starting to turn. You scan the gallery frantically—a large number of waitstaff is starting to converge on the same area off to your right. Marcus looks conflicted. Desperately, his eyes flick between you and Derrick, even as he takes a few halting steps away from you. Maybe Derrick was right—but maybe it’s you who needs to cause a scene. Time seems to slow down; suddenly, everything seems crystal clear. You give Marcus a small, reassuring smile before turning your back on him and starting down your ex.

“You can’t just come here and try to ruin the life I’ve built!” you exclaim, speaking loud enough for the surrounding patrons to hear. As predicted, most people’s attention is now turned to the unfolding drama rather than the quick footsteps of Marcus, surrounded by several waiters, heading toward the back of the gallery.

“It’s over, Derrick! You can try to goad me all you want, but the truth is, I’ve found all I need without you. And you’re wrong—I’m not using him at all. I love him!”

The last words are damn-near shouted. They seem to echo in the crowded gallery.

Marcus stops in his tracks, whirling around on the spot to stare at you, open-mouthed.

“I love him!” you call out, looking right at Marcus as you say it again. “I love him.”

Even from across the room, you can see his lower lip tremble. But then—he turns away, looking as though doing so causes him unimaginable pain.

Attention starts to turn to Marcus, rather than the apparent row between two ex-lovers. Shit. You need to escalate this, and fast.

“Anyway, you couldn’t please a woman if you tried!” you hurl the out-of-the-blue accusation at Derrick, who looks murderous. “Like, even if your dick wasn’t that small, the real problem is that you don’t seem to have any idea how to use it!”

The crowd titters, and you keep going, feeling emboldened.

“Yeah, turns out orgasms are the one thing you can’t buy,” you quip. “Or at least, you can’t. I can buy them just fine—got myself a vibrator the day I walked out and left that awful engagement ring on the counter.”

A large, meaty hand lands on your shoulder, and you startle slightly. Agent Bear, as you’ve begun calling him in your head, who looks rather comical in his waiter’s tuxedo, leans down the foot and a half it takes for him to murmur in your ear.

“That’s enough. C’mon.”

“I—I was trying to—”

“I know exactly what you were trying to do. You did good, kid. Boss wants you out of the building for this next part.”

You let the behemoth of a man escort you through the kitchen and out through the dock entrance, leaving Derrick, sputtering and red-faced, behind you.

“I can’t believe I just yelled about my ex’s dick size at my first art exhibition,” you murmur to yourself as you follow the man toward the surveillance van around the corner.

“As distractions go, it was certainly creative,” the agent offers placatingly.

“What’s going on?” you ask when you reach the SUV. “Is Marcus okay? Is the guy in custody?”

“Everything is going as expected,” the agent tells you, which isn’t the most detailed explanation, and you sigh in frustration.

“So why am I being escorted out of the building?”

“This was always the plan,” he explains. “Marcus didn’t want you anywhere near the op until the building was cleared again, safe or not.”

“Why?”

The large man gives you a funny look. “I thought you knew.”

“Knew what?”

He purses his lips thoughtfully, as though trying to find a way to choose his next words carefully. “I haven’t known the boss for that long, mind you, but I know this—he’s stubborn, loyal, and goddamn fucking protective about the people he cares about. And he spared no expense once you agreed to come on board—bought a bunch’a new equipment because he couldn’t run the risk of any blip in communication. Hell, he’s been putting the whole fucking team through dry runs at the venue for the past month and keeping us late at the shooting range to make sure we were all sharp. This whole damn thing has been planned out to the letter, and he made it pretty fucking clear what would happen if a single hair on your head even came close to being harmed. I dunno what your feelings are for the man, but I thought you had to know already—he’s head over heels crazy for you.”

“…Oh.”

“You yelling you loved him across the damn room—that wasn’t part of your little scene-stealing strategy?”

You shake your head solemnly. “Of course not.”

“Good.” The agent nods, his jaw set. “Good. That’s good.”

“What happens to the show?” you ask quietly. “Is it just… over now? Everyone goes home?”

He shakes his head. “Nah, you can go back in once the team clears out. Pike didn’t want this to cause too much disruption. Said this was your first exhibition, that right?”

You nod. “Yup.”

“He didn’t want to sell you short. Made sure that the event would be able to continue after all the Feds leave,” the agent says with a wry grin.

“Is it safe?” you ask warily.

“Oh yeah,” he nods. “But I’m your assigned security detail for the rest of the night anyway.”

You huff out a quiet laugh. “Sorry you have to play babysitter to the boss’s girlfriend.”

“Nah, my pleasure. It’s because of you we were able to put this whole thing on in the first place.” He pauses, looking off to the side and nodding imperceptibly. When he speaks again, it’s clear he’s not addressing you anymore. “Copy. I’ll take her back in.” Standing, he holds out one giant palm to help you up. “Your time to shine, kid.”

“Is Marcus okay?” you ask again.

The agent snorts. “‘Course he’s fine. Suspect is under arrest and the team is headed back to HQ to finish up and get the perp booked. Said he’d come back as soon as he could.”

You nod, walking back through the now-empty kitchen. Guess you had to get here early if you wanted snacks, you think with a wry smile. There are fewer patrons milling around now, but that only means you can have longer, more meaningful conversations about your pieces with people who are genuinely interested. Checking your phone for any messages from Marcus, you realize you have hundreds of new notifications on your Instagram page, and a handful of online sales. It really was a success. Staged or not, maybe this exhibition is going to be the break you need.

The gallery finally starts to empty as the hour draws late. Pretty soon, the lights are being turned off and the doors locked—and Marcus still isn’t here.

“I can drive you home,” your security detail suggests. “Pike can meet you there, instead.”

“He said he’d be here,” you say in a small voice.

The man holds up his hands. “Up to you.”

You wait.

And wait.

Finally, you hear quick footsteps echoing in the large hall, and you look up from the not-so-rousing game of Solitaire on your phone—which you insisted on playing, even with your battery at 20%.

Marcus.

You jump to your feet, heart in your throat. Agent Bear mumbles a goodbye and exits out one of the side doors, but you hardly notice. You can only stare at the man at the other side of the room.

He stares back.

Both of you seem to move at the same time. Marcus crosses the gallery in several long strides and you rush forward to meet him. You collide in the middle, lips bruising and hands gripping hard. He crushes your body against his, one hand around your back to press you closer and the other holding your jaw firm as he kisses you—deep and passionate and so full of emotion you feel as though you might burst.

When the heat subsides and the movement of your lips naturally begins to change–slowing, gentling–Marcus’s breath is shaky on your face as he carefully brings both hands up to cradle your cheeks. His eyes bright and shining full of moisture, his thumbs gently trace the curve of your cheekbones.

“I love you, too,” he whispers ardently. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“I love you,” you repeat back. A tear slips down your cheek; Marcus catches it with his thumb.

“I love you,” he says again. “Baby, that might have been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do—turn my back on you like that.” “I’m sorry. I just—I couldn’t hold it in anymore, not when Derrick was saying all those awful things. I just needed you to know that none of it was true.”

“Couldn’t hold it in anymore?” Marcus repeats, searching your face with a growing smile.

“ I—I’ve never felt this was about anyone. I can’t help but think it whenever I look at you.”

Marcus brings his mouth to yours in another passionate, electrifying kiss. Your cheeks are damp, and you can’t tell whether the cause is you or him. You’re hardly able to take notice anyway, the way his kiss consumes you. It’s everything; he’s everything, and you love each other, and everything is finally going to be okay.

“I love you,” he whispers again. “You were amazing tonight; I was so proud of you.”

“It went really well,” you say, smiling. “I got more sales than I expected, plus a ton of hits online. And I got to say some really cathartic shit to Derrick as a bonus.”

Marcus chuckles. “Wish I could have seen that.”

“I told basically the entire gallery that he couldn’t please a woman.”

“That’s my girl.” He smiles, fondly, and presses one last kiss to your forehead. “I’m sorry I’m so late coming back. Are you ready to go?”

You thread your hands together and nod. “Yeah, let’s go home.”

“Yours or mine?”

“Doesn’t matter, just want to be in private as soon as possible.”

Marcus’s eyes darken; his smile turns mischievous. “In that case, my place is closer.”

“That settles it.”

Despite the proximity of Marcus’s apartment, he might have broken at least five traffic laws on the way in his haste to get you alone. You nearly run down the hall to get to his door, and when it bangs open, you’re both reaching for each other with similar fervor.

Your back hits the wall with a soft thunk as Marcus pushes you backward, not so much kissing you as devouring you. Your hands thread into his hair in an attempt to ground yourself, nails scraping against his scalp until he groans brokenly.

“Fuck, I love you,” he rasps. His hands are hasty in their actions–getting access to as much of your skin as possible in as little time–and you both moan together as he roughly pulls your blouse from being tucked neatly into your slacks and his warm palms slide up the bare skin of your sides.

You frantically join him, fingers fumbling at the buckle of his belt and trying to pull his pants down without actually undoing them.

Marcus laughs giddily without breaking the kiss, trying to unbutton them at the same time you’re already shoving them down his hips. He finally manages to kick them off, along with his underwear, with his lips still stubbornly fused to yours. Your pants receive the same treatment, both of you too lost in the moment to be methodical in your actions as fabric is shoved haphazardly out of the way.

When your legs are likewise bare, one leg automatically hooks around Marcus’s hip in an attempt to get him closer, closer, closer, and he obliges enthusiastically–pressing into your core with a soft grunt.

It’s not enough, not nearly enough, you need him in you, and he must feel the same, because with a little growl of frustration, he reaches around to pull your other leg around him as he lifts you off of the floor and presses you up against the wall to finally be able to sheathe himself within you in one fluid motion.

Your head thunks against the wall as you draw a ragged gasp of breath into your lungs. Marcus’s lips automatically attach to your bared neck, his teeth scraping gently against your skin as he starts to frantically pound you into the wall. The sound is obscene–the slap of your bodies, the frantic, blissed-out noises of pleasure you’re both making, and the loud, rhythmic thunk of your bodies as they hit the wall over and over and over…

…You hope, for Marcus’s neighbors’ sake, that this is an outside wall.

He drills into you–deep, impossibly deep and your back arches to meet his thrusts, but each movement causes your spine to rub painfully into the wall, your core is already burning as you try to stay in place, and despite how fucking good he’s fucking you right now, your orgasm remains elusive.

Marcus suddenly lets out a rather undignified noise, his face contorting into discomfort rather than pleasure, and before you know it, the mood has changed and the two of you are laughing yourselves breathless at the awkwardness of the position.

“F-Fuck, my back,” he manages to gasp out in between giggles. You tip your head back as your chest heaves with peals of laughter, and you feel yourself sliding slowly down the wall as Marcus’s strength gives out and the two of you collapse into a still-laughing, undignified heap on his entryway floor.

“Always looks so hot in videos,” you say, voice still wavering with mirth.

“Bit harder in real life,” Marcus chuckles, finding your lips again and giving you several soft, smiling kisses.

“Got a better idea,” you murmur against his lips.

“Bed?”

“Too far,” you argue. “Sit up. I’m gonna–”

Marcus scrambles into a seated position against the wall, and you follow him immediately–climbing onto his lap and sinking down onto his cock with a soft whimper at the stretch of him.

“Baby,” he whispers, soothing the little wrinkle of discomfort on your forehead with his thumb as his eyes flick over your face, cataloging your reactions.

“‘S’okay,” you reassure him breathlessly. “I’m okay.”

When you start to rock your hips, grinding yourself on Marcus’s cock, your mouth falls open with overwhelming pleasure.

“Fucking love you,” you murmur, and he responds by trying to pull you closer even though there hardly seems to be any space between you already.

“Never gonna get tired of hearing you say that,” Marcus says, voice rough with pleasure or emotion–you aren’t sure which.

“I love you,” you tell him again, and his eyes slip closed with what could either be agony or euphoria. And perhaps it’s both, really. You’d understand. The emotion burns so strongly within you that the reality of it almost hurts. Your heart aches with it.

Your movements increase in intensity as you chase the feeling building deep inside you. It’s not simply arousal, and really, it never has been with Marcus. It’s a deep sense of joy, satisfaction, and safety. Maybe you’ve always known it–Marcus is it for you. The realization almost makes you lose track of the moment–you’re not with your body, you’re elsewhere, looking down on the two of you, desperately entwined on the floor not two feet from the front door.

“Wanna feel you come for me,” Marcus murmurs, one hand leaving your hip to rub little circles on your clit. “Baby, please.”

The action causes arousal to surge within you; you feel yourself getting even wetter, and Marcus can feel it too, because he makes a low noise in his throat as he watches you ride him.

“Never gonna get tired of this either,” he rasps. “The way you look when you’re about to come undone–fucking divine. That look you get, like you can’t believe you can feel this good… fuck, the fact that it’s me that makes you look like that–” He cuts off with a broken sound, his grip on your hip bruising as he loses himself in the moment.

“It’s you,” you say shakily, nodding frantically as you chase your release. “Only you. You’re the only one who could ever make me feel like this.”

You don’t just mean the waves of pleasure building within you, and Marcus seems to understand, because his eyebrows turn upward in awe, his lips parting as he gazes up at you with nothing short of reverence.

“Show me,” he says quietly, his lips barely moving. “Let go. Come for me.”

A few more halting, violent rocks of your hips is all it takes before you slump onto Marcus’s chest, unable to hold yourself upright as the feeling sweeps throughout your entire body. He holds you close, taking over the motions and fucking up into you as you convulse with aftershocks. You’re hardly aware of how loud you’re being, crying out and whimpering and sobbing into his shoulder as he fucks you through it, but as you come down, you can hear his soft, lilting voice in your ear.

“So good for me, honey–fuck, you feel so good. Look so beautiful when you come, my pretty girl. So fucking beautiful all the time, I can hardly believe you’re mine.”

You whimper softly and tighten your hold around him as you nod into his shoulder. “I need–” you start, not entirely sure where the sentence was going, but Marcus nods anyway.

“I know, baby, I know.”

He surges forward, gently depositing you on your back on the floor before covering your body with his and fucking into you with abandon.

“F-fuck, mine,” he rasps. “Mine.”

“Yes,” you gasp–each thrust punching the air out of your lungs as Marcus chases his release. “Yes, yes, yes, yes–”

It doesn’t take long before he stills, burying himself deep inside you with a low groan of your name. For a few moments, the only sound is your labored breathing as you both come back to yourselves. Marcus gently touches his forehead to yours, his soft exhales shaky and wavering against your cheeks.

The air is thick with something–emotion, tension, or maybe the opposite: relief. The moment itself feels like an exhale, like your shoulder muscles can start to ease downward. Like if you needed support–or anything–you know there's someone you can depend on.

And he, you.

“...Are you?” Marcus asks–quietly and hesitantly, as though he’s ashamed to say the words out loud. “Are you mine?”

You bring your palm to his cheek and watch his eyelashes flutter at the soft touch.

"Depends… are you mine as well?"

He pulls back, pure sincerity in his gaze as he looks in your eyes.

"I think I was waiting for you this whole time," he intones quietly. "I'm yours. Of course I’m yours. Completely, and unequivocally."

You smile and bring his face back down towards yours for a kiss.

“How’s the back?”

“Hurts.”

“Wanna get off the floor?”

Marcus looks sheepish. “I didn’t want to say anything, but… yeah, oh my God, I need to lie down.”

You giggle–breath hitching in the middle as his softening cock slips from you. With twin smiles, the two of you gingerly get up, grabbing your discarded layers of clothing and heading toward Marcus’s bedroom. He collapses on the bed with a loud sigh and scrubs his hands over his face.

“I think I aged five years during this op,” he grumbles as you plop down beside him.

“I thought everything went according to plan,” you offer, frowning in confusion.

“Oh, it did. I haven’t had any single mission in my career go better, but… Fuck, there’s a reason for that. I’ve been running the whole damn team ragged for a month, doing drills and–”

“–keeping them late at the shooting range?”

Marcus frowns. “How did you know that?”

“My security detail told me about the pains you took to keep me safe. Or rather, how you ‘made it pretty fucking clear what would happen if a single hair on my head even came close to being harmed.’”

“I–I can explain–”

“He said you were ‘head over heels crazy’ for me,” you say, raising one eyebrow coyly.

“Well,” Marcus drops his gaze and grins widely, showing his teeth. “That’s certainly accurate.”

“Why did you ask for my help, if you spent the last month stressed out of your mind?”

He bites his lip as he seemingly gathers his thoughts. “To be completely honest, I said what I said that first time in the moment, without really thinking about it,” he explains. “But once Pandora’s box was opened, so to speak, it was hard to just… put it all away. The more I thought about it, the more it was perfect. Not only does the team get an ideal setup to catch a long-time art thief, but you get an opportunity that precious few artists are ever awarded. I couldn’t… it couldn’t not be you.”

You frown slightly as disparate, confused thoughts swirl around your brain. “I never asked to be a charity case–”

“No,” Marcus interrupts. “Oh, God, no–it was just—Well, we had to ask someone to put on a fake art show, and all things being equal, I wanted it to be you.”

“Why?”

Marcus’s gaze softens. “Because I love you, silly. Head over heels, remember? You’ve given me so much, and I just wanted to give you this.”

Your breath hitches at the devotion in his words. His eyes are so full of love, you don’t even know what to say. In the past, you’ve been so used to “gifts” being double-sided and deceitful. You don’t know what to do with Marcus, who simply… gives you things. Because he wants to.

“Thank you,” you finally whisper.

He smiles slowly, eyes brimming with emotion. “I was so proud of you. You know that, right? Every time I would turn and look at you, I just–” he cuts off, shaking his head and looking down. “Baby, I was in awe of you. I just need you to know that.”

“I know that.”

You risk a glance at the clock, and wince.

“Oh, my God. It’s two am.”

Marcus grimaces. “Guess we get to sleep in tomorrow.”

“I’ve got an opening shift.”

“Fuck. Fuck. Of course you do,” he groans.

“I’ll be quiet,” you promise.

“Don’t you dare. I’ll get up and make you coffee.”

“You… you don’t have to do that,” you tell him hesitantly.

“I want to,” Marcus corrects. “I’m here with you. We’re doing this–everything–together, right?”

You reach over to turn off the bedside lamp, and then settle back against his warm side.

“Right.”

#marcus pike #marcus pike x you #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x f!reader #marcus pike fanfiction #the mentalist #pedro pascal

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eddiemunsons80sbaby · 9 months

Text

Nobody's Fool: Chapter 23

Pairing: EddieXReader

Summary: You have bartended for years after you were forced to drop out of college due to family circumstances. You have dated your fair share of musicians, had your heart broken by one particular one, and have learned they are not be trusted. You have sworn off of them for the rest of your life. Then, one night, a new band plays at the bar, and against your better judgement, you can't help noticing the lead singer and guitar player. Could he possibly be different from the ones who came before him?

Warnings: 18+ Only due to eventual smut and language. There is also a toxic family relationship with a narcissistic mother if that is triggering for you.

MasterList

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28

“I’m home, loudly announcing my arrival, to make sure it’s safe to come in!” Jen yelled as she walked in the door the next afternoon. “So, you better cover anything you don’t want me to see!”

“You’re safe,” you muttered, walking out of your bedroom wrapped in your comforter.

“Where’s Eddie?” Jen asked.

“Not here,” you said, turning to face your friend.

Jen took one look at you and knew something had gone horribly wrong. Red, puffy eyes full of sadness gazed up out of the little hole you'd left so you could see as you maneuvered through the house, comforter dragging on the floor. Your skin was splotchy, red and white patches all along your cheeks and nose. You looked completely beaten down.

“Shit, what happened?”

“Nothing,” you groaned. “Only what was inevitably going to happen so it’s fine.”

“What was inevitable?”

“Me and Eddie splitting up,” you stated as if it should be obvious.

You walked over to the couch, plopping down on it, staying safely wrapped in your cocoon of warmth. You had spent much of the night after Eddie left not sleeping, crying into your pillow, trying to convince yourself that this was all for the best. This was going to happen eventually anyway, right?

“How in the hell were you two splitting up inevitable?” Jen demanded, following you into the living room. “Hey, what the hell happened last night? He was supposed to be coming and cooking you dinner. You guys were going to have a romantic night together. How did you guys go from dinner to not being together anymore?”

“He told me he loves me,” you replied, your voice coming out in a whimper.

“What? He did? That’s amazing. But wait. Shit. The dreaded ‘l’ word. What did you do? Oh no, tell me you didn’t freak out on him when he said it.” Jen stood there, waiting, as you sat silently. “Girl, freaking talk to me! What in the hell happened last night?”

“I yelled at him not to say it!” you shrieked. “I told him he didn’t love me and he needed to stop saying it!”

“Goddammit! Why would you do that?”

“Because this was supposed to be casual! This was supposed to be fun! We weren’t supposed to fall in love with each other! I didn’t want him to say that to me” you cried. “That goddamn word is like a fucking curse! The minute it gets said, everything starts to fall apart! The minute he said that, it was the beginning of the end! So, it may as well end now anyway before it completely destroys me.”

“Oh my god,” Jen groaned. “I could seriously throat punch Sebastian. Did you seriously fuck up this amazing thing you have with Eddie because you can’t get over what one asshole did?”

“It’s not just him,” you said stubbornly.

“Okay, you’ve had a string of duds! You chose badly a few times and they were dickheads. Well, guess what? Most of us do! You have to kiss a few toads before you find your prince charming! How many losers have I dated before finding Kyle?” Jen screamed at you. “Fuck! How do you not see how amazing he is for you? Why are you trying to sabotage this wonderful thing in your life?”

“Because he was just going to leave me eventually anyway! Everybody leaves, Jen!” you yelled. “Everybody! I wasn’t enough for my dad to stick around. I wasn’t enough for my mother to ever find a single goddamn reason to love me. I wasn’t enough to keep Sebastian interested or happy. I wasn’t enough for any other guy! I am never enough! Something about me makes people leave! I am not worthy enough or good enough for anyone to stay! It was only a matter of time before Eddie figured out he could do a hell of a lot better than me, and if it’s going to happen, then better now than later when it would hurt ten times worse.”

“Jesus,” Jen sighed, shaking her head. “First of all, don’t you stand there and say everyone leaves you. I’m here! I have been here for the last five years and I will always be here. I have always thought you were worth it.”

“I know, I didn’t mean you,” you grumbled.

“Yeah, you better not. Secondly, some parents suck. They just do. Tons of people out there have shitty parents and family drama. My mom is awesome and I am blessed to have her, but my dad took off and couldn’t care less about me. Guess what? His bullshit is not a reflection on who I am as a person. You didn’t choose your parents. You got dealt a shitty hand, and that sucks. But your mom and dad do not decide who you are. They don’t get to dictate your worth and you definitely don’t have to let them steal your happiness.”

You looked up at your friend, tears filling your eyes. You wanted to believe it so desperately. You wanted to feel like you were worth something, like maybe somebody could believe you were worthy of love, that you were worth enough to stick around for.

“Sweetie, you are not your mom or your dad. You are one the kindest, most hard-working, driven, strong, and intelligent women I know,” Jen said, sitting down next to you. “You deserve love. You deserve happiness. Don’t let a few assholes ruin that for you. Eddie is that happiness. I can see it. I know you think it hasn’t been long enough, but who decides how long you have to know someone before you know? I’ve watched you two together. You guys are perfect for each other, and he makes you smile in a way I have never seen you smile before. Girl, I have never seen you so happy, ever, as you are when you’re with him. You say you don’t, but I know you, and you love him too. I hate to see you do this to yourself.”

“Well, it’s already done,” you huffed, resigned. “It’s over. He basically said he’s sick of dealing with me.”

“No he didn’t,” Jen scoffed. “I don’t believe for a second he said that.”

“Maybe not that exactly, but that pretty much sums it up,” you muttered. “He said I was exhausting and he said fuck this and he walked out the door.”

“To be fair, you are a bit exhausting,” teased Jen, bumping her shoulder. “I mean, you are all of those things I just said but you are also a bit tiring. It’s hard trying to constantly build you up when you just keep trying to tear yourself down.”

“Gee, thanks for that. I’m sorry I’m such a shitty friend,” you mumbled.

“Jesus, that’s not what I’m saying and this is exactly what I’m talking about,” groaned Jen. “You have got to stop doing that. You have got to stop seeing yourself as less than anything. How are you ever going to be happy like this? You have to let it go. Deal with your childhood trauma and move on, girl. If you can’t do it on your own, then talk to someone. I’m not trying to sound harsh. Your mom is a bitch. She’s a freaking narcissist and she is never going to give you what you need. Let her go. Your dad is a piece of shit who is more worried about his happiness than yours. Let him go. Sebastian is a manwhore and a giant piece of trash who didn’t realize what an amazing girl he had. Let him go. But, for the love of God, if you’re going to hold onto anything, hold onto Eddie. Girl, grip that man tightly with both hands. I am telling you, you’re never going to find another one of him.”

You heard Jen, and you knew she was right. You were pathetic, constantly dragging all this shit around. It was so heavy and every step you took it just added up and got heavier until it felt like you were dragging a semi truck behind you everywhere, on the verge of collapsing and being crushed under its weight. You were tired, so tired, of working so hard to try to guard yourself from anything that might hurt you.

And you knew Jen was absolutely right about one thing. You were absolutely, completely, unequivocally in love with him too. It terrified you. You'd tried to stop yourself but it was futile. The man was perfect in every way and you had completely fucked everything up. The minute he walked out the door, you regretted every stupid time you had tried to push him away, but how would you ever get him to give you another chance? You didn’t deserve one.

“Hey? Are you going to talk to him?” Jen asked.

“I don’t know,” you groaned. “He’s tired of all of my shit and I don't blame him. I’m tired of all of my shit.”

“What he’s tired of is being kept at a distance,” Jen reasoned.

“How would you know?”

“Him and I may have talked a few times,” your friend admitted. “He just wants to be close to you. He’s not scared of your shit. He just wants you to share it with him. Eddie wants to know everything about you. He worked so hard to get past the barriers. Just take them down and let him walk in. I promise you, he’s going to be okay with it all.”

“Maybe,” you mused, holding your head in your hands. Jesus, your head felt like it was going to explode, lack and sleep and sobbing were not a good combination. “Look, I have to get ready for work and this is just a lot right now.”

Jen reached out, placing her hand on your arm, “Okay, just take a breath and go to work. Just, please promise me that you’ll think about everything I’ve said?”

“I will,” you agreed. “I promise. I will, but right now I just need to set it to the side. This has been too much at once and I just need a bit. Maybe I need to give each of us a day or two to calm down and think and then I’ll try to talk to him.”

You headed into your room to get ready for work, trying to put everything to the back of your mind, but those beautiful chocolate eyes kept pushing their way right back to the front.

____________________________________________________________

“Damn girl, you okay?” Joey asked as you walked into work that night.

You had done your makeup and hair, trying to hide evidence of how you were feeling. You had put on a Motley Crue shirt that you had turned into a tank by cutting off the sleeves and denim shorts. You had thought you'd done a pretty good job of covering up how you were absolutely falling apart, but evidently you'd not done good enough.

“I’m fine, why? Are you trying to say I look like shit?” you asked harshly.

“What? No,” Joey said, shaking his head, emphatically trying to course correct. “You look amazing like always. I just, your face…I mean, your face is beautiful. I don’t mean it’s not. You just look sad.”

“Yeah? Well, mind your own business because I’m not sad. I’m fine,” you grumbled, moving past him to go drop your bag in the back office.

A couple hours into your shift and you were feeling a bit better. The bar was busy and busy meant you had things to occupy your mind. You were running back and forth, serving drinks and food, wiping down tables, and restocking the bar. Joey yelled that you needed another keg brought out so the two of you headed into the back to grab one.

You were connecting the tap when you felt him. You would have felt him anywhere. Your eyes instinctively moved to the door to see Eddie, Jeff, and Gareth walking into the bar. Eddie was swaying slightly on his feet as if he’d already pre-gamed before they had arrived. He caught your eye and the look he gave you froze your blood to ice before they headed to a table.

Fuck. If he was so angry with you, why the hell did they even come here? He had to have known there was a good possibility he would see you. This was where you worked, for fuck’s sake. So much for trying not to dwell on him tonight. So much for your plan of letting things calm down.

“Your boyfriend’s here,” Joey said, grabbing the empty keg to take to the back.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you stated simply, checking the tap to make sure it was connected correctly and to let all the bubbles out.

“Oh shit, well that explains the sad face.”

“I’m not sad!” you snapped. “Fuck, just take the keg to the back and mind your own business.”

“Damn, sorry,” he muttered.

Fuck. Now you were snapping at Joey. This night could not possibly get worse. You instantly wanted to eat your words as Eddie began stumbling up to the bar. Oh my god, what was he doing?

“What’s with the service around here?” he slurred, glaring at you. “We’ve been sitting there waiting for someone to come get us drinks.”

“You’ve been here for two minutes Eddie,” you responded. "I was busy replacing the keg."

“Oh…that’s right. When princess is the bartender, you have to chase her down if you want anything but don’t expect to ever get it,” Eddie stated. “She’s always running away and you can’t ever fucking catch her.”

“Please stop,” you begged, closing your eyes. “This is not the place.”

“No? It’s not. So, what is the place? When is the time? Tell me when would work for you because you are the one who always gets to decide, right?”

“Not here and not now.”

“Fuck you,” he spat and you could feel tears prickling at the backs of your eyelids. You swallowed them down, refusing to cry in the middle of the bar where everyone could see. “Fuck you princess. You led me on for weeks but you’re just a goddamn ice queen. Nobody’s allowed in. Nobody can penetrate that cold fucking armor you wear.”

“Eddie, stop!” you pleaded, noticing all the eyes in the bar turning to you. You knew you deserved every bit of anger he was throwing at you, but you also knew this could escalate very quickly.

“Yeah, because you think you get to tell me what to do! You think you get to tell me how I feel or what I’m allowed to say! You’re just a goddamn coward!”

“And you’re drunk.”

“Yep, sure am,” he slurred, grabbing the bar as he swayed to the side. “And you’re a bitch.”

“Fine. I’m a bitch,” you agreed, desperate to get him to walk away. You saw John watching the two of you and you knew it was only a matter of minutes before he intervened. He wasn’t going to allow this kind of scene in his bar. This was either going to end with the cops being called or you losing your job. You'd done enough to hurt Eddie. You couldn’t bear to watch him get arrested because of you.

“At least we agree,” Eddie sneered at you.

“Uh-oh! Looks like trouble in paradise.”

You glanced over to see Sebastian leaning on the end of the bar. Jesus Christ, could this night seriously get any fucking worse? What had you done to piss off the cosmos and send all of the last possible things you wanted your way?

“Oh my god, I cannot even do this with you right now,” you groaned.

“Oh, looky. There he is,” Eddie said. “The reason you won’t let anyone in that impenetrable heart of yours. Well, dude, you can have her back now because I’m done working that damn hard.”

Sebastian’s eyebrows raised. “Huh? So, I’m the reason for all this trouble. That’s interesting.” He looked at you, grinning smugly and you itched to slap him.

John walked up to you, asking, “Is there a problem here?”

“No, my problems are long over now. I got rid of her,” Eddie mumbled before heading back to his friends.

“Everything okay, darling?” John asked, glancing between you and Sebastian.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” you muttered, your voice shaky. “Sorry about that John.”

“Okay.” He turned to Sebastian. “I am telling you right now, any issues with you and Eddie and I will call the cops and have you both arrested. You got it?”

Sebastian held his hands up. “I didn’t come here to start any problems, just to have a drink.”

John walked away and Sebastian sat down on one of the stools, folding his hands together on the bar. He smiled at you and you rolled your eyes.

“You and bargain bin Van Halen not working out?” he asked. “How very sad. Who could have seen that coming?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” you snapped, turning to help other customers at the bar.

“Well, if I’m the reason…”

“You’re not,” you stated. “Don’t give yourself that much credit. We didn’t work out because we didn’t work out. It had nothing to do with you.”

You were trying to ignore Eddie, but you could feel his eyes practically burning a hole through the two of you as they talked. You didn’t know what he thought he was seeing, but there was no point in trying to explain it. He was plastered and not thinking straight as it was.

“Still, I get the impression that you’re still not over me,” Sebastian mused. “Your boytoy over there said he didn’t want to work so hard to get close to you. Not able to let another guy in because you know you belong with me?”

“I don’t belong with you,” you sighed. “I never belonged with you. If you and I were meant to be together, you wouldn’t have cheated.”

“I made one mistake.”

“You really expect me to believe that was the only time Seb?” you demanded, staring him down. “You said yourself that you weren’t a one woman man. What was it you said? You needed variety when it came to sex to stay happy?”

“I thought I did. But now I know that I can be happy with just you.”

“Really?” you said, dramatically clutching your chest. “Oh my god. You could really just be happy with me? I’m so honored. Let me just lie down and open my legs for you since that’s all I’ve been waiting for.”

He smiled, reaching across the bar for you, and you backed away and burst out laughing.

“Get a goddamn grip!” you hissed. “I am never getting back with you. Just because Eddie and I didn’t work out does not mean I am desperate enough to come crawling back to you. You’re an asshole and you don’t deserve me.”

“Really? I don’t deserve you?” he laughed. “I could have any one of the chicks in here that I wanted. Your new boyfriend tossed you to the curb like last week’s trash. Who doesn’t deserve who?”

You felt your blood boiling. You were so sick of this shit. You were sick of letting people talk down to you, of letting people make you feel that you weren't worthy of their time, their love. Fuck him and fuck your mother and fuck your father. They could all go to hell. You had destroyed the one good thing you had because of all of their bullshit and their words that constantly ate at you. At that moment, you decided you were done playing nice. Who cared what any of them thought of you?

“Yeah, you could have most of the girls in here, but you know what? They’re not worth half of me,” you snarled at him, leaning down to not draw attention. “You wouldn’t be in here, practically begging me to take you back, if you didn’t think so too. I have spent enough time letting you make me feel like something was wrong with me. Letting you make me feel like I was worthless and I am done. You don’t decide who I am or what I’m worth so why don’t you go grab one of those girls and fuck off? You’re the trash that needs to be taken out to the curb. Get the fuck out of my life and my bar.”

“Bitch,” he spat. “You’re not even worth all this trouble.”

“Good, there’s the fucking door. Go.”

“Gladly.”

Sebastian stood up and strode out of the bar, slamming the door open with significant force. You let out a breath of relief. Well, that was one problem taken care of.

“I feel like this is turning out to be a pretty bad night for you. I hope you don’t have any more visitors showing up,” Joey commented as he came up beside you. “You okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” you groaned, shaking your head. “I mean, really, how could it possibly get any worse at this point?”

“Did you chase him away too?” Eddie yelled from across the bar.

Why did you keep saying that? You were cursing yourself because apparently it could just keep getting worse. Trying to ignore him, you walked to the other end of the bar to wait on customers, hoping he would stop if he didn’t get any response from you.

“Oh, the ice queen is ignoring me!?” he yelled. “You better run and get the blond goliath back you frigid bitch since you can’t seem to just let him go!”

“Eddie, man, knock it off,” Gareth chastised and you were silently thankful for his intervention.

“Fuck it, why should I even care?” Eddie muttered, pushing his chair back and walking away into the crowd on the dance floor.

You watched as he grabbed some girl and began dancing with her. She was gorgeous. Long black hair shimmering down her back, red pouty lips, a leather mini skirt and a shimmery bustier. The girl wound her arms around Eddie’s neck, pleased with her luck at being his chosen one. Why wouldn’t she be? He was the most beautiful man to ever walk this planet.

You looked away, wiping down the bar, fighting back tears and the lump in your throat that grew to the size of a baseball. You saw Gareth approaching you like he wanted to defend his friend, but you didn’t want to hear it. You glanced back up and Eddie locked eyes with you, smirking, before he pulled the girl closer and pressed his lips to hers. You gasped audibly and turned away.

“Shit,” Gareth grunted, preparing to go after Eddie but you stopped him.

“Don’t bother. It doesn’t matter anymore, anyway,” you managed through the tears that were springing up. “We’re not together so he can kiss whoever he wants.”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t…”

“Just stop,” you begged, holding your hand up to fend him off. “I don’t need to hear it. I don’t want to. It was a month and a half. It wasn’t that serious. I fucked everything up and we’re not together anymore because of it. He’s pissed and he has a right to do whatever he wants. I don’t give a shit anymore.”

Eddie and the girl continued dancing while you worked hard to ignore them. Joey shot you glances of sympathy and you ignored him too, not wanting to see the pity in his eyes. You headed out back for a smoke break just as their dancing began to look more like mating, the girl pressing herself against Eddie while he gripped her ass, the two of them grinding together to the beat of the music.

Alone out back, you lit your cigarette, took a deep hit, and the tears let loose. You slid down, crouching on the ground, your body shaking as you let everything you'd been pushing down all night just come. You had fucked up. Jesus, you had fucked up so badly and it was killing you. You couldn’t stand the thought of him with someone else, but you'd chased him away. But maybe it was the right thing. He was clearly moving on okay. He couldn’t be that upset about their split. Maybe you had been right about him from the beginning.

Finishing your cigarette, you tossed it on the ground and then headed into the back room to fix your face the best you could. Mascara trails ran down your cheeks. You wiped them off and grabbed your compact from your bag to touch yourself up. You weren't going to give him the benefit of seeing how much he had hurt you.

You walked back out to the bar to see Eddie, his arm slung around the girl’s shoulders, her hand in his back pocket, as they headed out of the bar. He turned over his shoulder, staring right at you, and gave you a little wave before the door shut behind them.

“Son of a bitch,” Jeff yelled as he and Gareth ran out after him, glancing over at you hopelessly.

Taglist

@tlclick73 @bebe07011 @emma77645 @corrodedcoffincumslut @babeyglo @kimmi-kat @bblunuh @vintagehellfire @hellfire--cult @avobabe87 @just-a-sewer-goblin @emilyslutface @micheledawn1975 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @emxxblog @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels @lma1986 @kittydeadbones

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two-white-butterflies · 1 year

Text

WAITING FOR A BUS

Pairings: Aemond Targaryen x Reader, Daemon Targaryen x Reader (MODERN)

Description: A new promotion at work prompts you to move into a small modest town with your boyfriend, Aemond Targaryen. There you meet a few friendly faces. It seems like life is going where it's supposed to. That is until you meet your new boss, Daemon Targaryen, who is your boyfriend's estranged uncle.

It doesn't help with the fact that you've been having dreams about him since birth.

masterlist | chapter fifteen

The sound of his phone rang through his ears. He sat properly, rubbing circles on his cheeks that were tainted red from sleeping on his wooden desk. He stares at his phone for a second, seeing Laenor's caller ID beep through the phone. He swipes to answer it.

"What?" he asked in an annoyed tone. It was his friend — almost a brother, and rudeness came to him naturally. He could hear Laenor's breathing on the other side of the call, and also puppies barking on the background. "I went to the pound and I saw a dog that looked familiar. Well scrap that, there's three dogs that look hella familiar." he rambles off while a sound of a dog growling could be heard.

"I don't want a fucking dog, Laenor." Daemon gritted his teeth, prepared to end the call. "I know goddamn, you wouldn't want to take care of yourself. But hear me out —" Laenor insulted for a bit before turning on his camera. Daemon sighed, seeing the man's face in full-view. "You're ruining my day with your fucking face." he rolled his eyes whilst also turning his camera on.

"Fuck you." Laenor whispered pulling his face closer to the camera. Then, the screen turns to the other side where a dog could be seen. Daemon's grip on his desk tightened. "Caraxes." he said to himself while staring at the tiny dog. It was a chihuahua with a missing ear, the dog looked dangerous — which meant that it was Caraxes.

He's been looking for Caraxes for a long time. Rhaenyra told him that dragons didn't have the same souls as humans and thus couldn't reincarnate, but he didn't believe her — something deep inside his heart told him that his darling dragon was still alive. "You were saying?" Laenor rolled his eyes off-screen, Daemon's eyes were boring deep into the pet. Caraxes seemed to be silent, hearing Daemon's voice.

"How the fuck?" he cursed while standing up from his chair. He was prepared to bolt inside the pound. He places the phone down to reach for his coat but Laenor's voice prevents him from doing so. "I was supposed to get a puppy for Jace, but I found them." Laenor explained while flipping the camera again.

"Your dog stinks though." he managed to taunt while turning his head at the dog-keeper, presumably taking all of the dogs.

"I can't be mad at you right now." Daemon replied while returning back to his desk. Laenor hands his phone to Jace who was playing with the puppy Vermax. He felt relieved for a second, as he knew that he could drive different roads but they would all lead back to this one — they would all lead back to you.

"Hi Gruncle Daemon!" Jace greets while Laenor disappears from view. He tries to regain his composure, reminding himself that his grand-nephew knew nothing about the situation at hand. "Happy 18th birthday kid!" he greeted with a soft-smile. "Thanks gruncle," Jace smiles while placing the phone on the floor, giving his uncle a full view of all the puppies inside the small cage. He couldn't help but stare at the old dog in the corner.

"Are we having dinner tonight? You having a girl over?" he teased and his nephew turned red. Ah, he was right then — there was a woman who resided inside the boy's heart. "He's too young for that," Laenor pipes in from the other side of the fence. "He's a fucking adult." he answered with a teasing smile. He leans closer to the phone, attempting to take a clearer view of Caraxes. "Helaena has a boyfriend and she's seventeen. Don't tell me that your boy can't pull?" he teased again, and Jace turned even redder in embarrassment.

The boy hides his face from the camera, momentarily stopping his game with the puppy. "Helaena doesn't have a boyfriend." Jace piped in as an attempt to disregard the fact that he was single. "Do you have one?" Laenor corners his son, and the boy turned redder. "See this why you should bring someone home, it prevents skepticism." Daemon chuckles and the boy moves closer to the camera.

"Bye Gruncle," the boy mumbles while hanging up.

———

Someone knocks on the door — from the camera he could see you. You were wearing a different shirt, it used to be green but now it was black. He stands up, placing his phone inside his pockets. He reaches for the door, twisting the doorknob and meeting your eyes. The eyes that have hooked his soul deep.

"I hope you don't mind me here." you smile softly, while leaning on the doorframe. "It's lunchtime. Corlys and I were wondering if you wanted to eat in the lounge." you offered in the kindest possible way, and he couldn't find himself to decline.

"Yeah, that sounds good." he smiles in return, finding your presence soothing. He breathes your scent, reminiscing the days in which he could freely inhale the perfume on your hair, but he didn't want to force you — he knows that good things come to those who wait. There was a possibility that you would never remember, but he didn't mind — because the mere thought of spending a second with you was enough to last him a lifetime.

You move out of his way. Allowing a clear pathway to the teacher's lounge. "I'm sorry for having to spend you time knocking on my door." he apologized while placing his hands on his pockets. There was an hour for lunch-break, and every second counted. "It's alright, I eat pretty quickly." you laughed politely while walking through the rainbow halls of the school.

"I'm busy because we're having a new accounting next year." he informs and your eyes widened. "You're leaving?" you asked, dreading the thought of having to spend work without him. "Yeah, I'm going to study for another doctorate next year. It might take a while." he informed. "Another doctorate? You amaze me." you complimented, and he scratched his head in a humble demeanor.

Daemon craved knowledge, he wanted it more than anything in his world — second to only you. "It's not that hard when you have a lot of money. You know, I didn't understand why people liked school at first, but now I do." he chuckled while halting in-front of the lounge. The doors opened automatically, and you both stepped inside the air-conditioned room.

Rhaenyra was slumped on the sofa eating a bowl of Caesar Salad. "Look who decided to join us," she greeted while patting the empty spot beside her. You sat down with ease, and Daemon sat down beside you. "It's the first time I'm seeing my uncle in this room." Rhaenyra commented with a raised eyebrow, but is shut down by Daemon's commanding glare.

He demanded attention, you were able to see that.

"I wonder why he decided to grace us with his presence." Corlys piped in while taking another bite of his sandwich. He was aware of the past-relationship you had with Daemon. He remembers the headache he had in his past life when he discovered your marriage. A bastard-healer with the Rogue Prince? It made the Black's defeat certain, but now he doesn't care. He doesn't care that his daughter's past life-ex-boyfriend is about to date his friend. He's a little peeved, sure, but he isn't fuming.

He sees the way that Daemon stares at you: with the intensity of all the stars in the world. Laena deserved that and Daemon is forever unable to provide, now that his heart is inclined with another.

"Don't make a big deal about this," Daemon was quick to rescind.

Rhaenyra taps your shoulder, a warm motherly smile was etched into her face. "Jace wanted to invite you for his birthday. He told Aemond a week ago, but — he forgot because of the Alicent thing." she scratches the side of her ear. Aemond 'forgot' purposefully. He told Rhaenyra flat out. A smile found itself etched on your face. You were part of the family now.

"I would love to join, I'll ask Aemond if he's available — I'm sorry on his behalf for forgetting. He has a lot on his plate." you apologized for your boyfriend's behavior, but she was quick to forgive you. "It's alright, forgetting is normal." she places a hand on your shoulder.

"The entire family will be happier with you there." Corlys piped in. You frown for a minute and Rhaenyra clears things up. "His wife is my father's cousin. Most of the faculty will be there — since Jace has already left for college. He's staying with Daemon for a while, the party is going to be held in my house. I'll text you the details." she explains while checking her watch and standing up to leave.

next chapter>>

taglist: @namelesslosers @immyowndefender @ammo2022 @perihelioneclipse @gracielikegrapes @joliettes @thetrueblackheart @marytargaryen @ammo23 @sanzu-sanzu-sanzu

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bombingqueen · 7 months

Text

I might make a rec list of all my favorite wincest and j2 fics. I wouldn't mind receiving some recs if anyone is interested. I decided to just list my wincest recs because I read more sam/dean fics then J2. I have no idea how many parts I'm gonna have.

Updated:

Wincest Recs Part 1

Favorites (these are pretty much rated E):

the blood in your mouth (5306 words) by hathfrozen Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Dean wishes he could sink his hands right through Sam’s skin, his ribs, wishes he could touch straight down to Sam’s heart. He’d feel the strong muscle of it, the clench and release of every beat, the thick heat of blood. He could take a bite, all for himself. (In which Dean starts experiencing cannibalistic thoughts about Sam, and Sam just needs his brother. Season 11.)

take the things you love (4784 words) by hathfrozen Chapters: 1/1 Summary: The thing is, Sam’s reinforcing every bad behavior Dean’s ever had with this kind of shit. Fucking Sam stupid over the hood of the Impala? Dean’s wet dream—unfortunately also Sam’s—but more importantly the implicit validation of every claim Dean thinks he has on Sam—unfortunately every claim Sam’s lizard brain wants Dean to have. (Sam knows his brother wants to possess him. It's a point of internal conflict.)

brother only wants (64098 words) by hathfrozen Chapters: 11/11 Summary: Sam breathes like it takes effort, and then he says, "Wanting you was the very first thing I realized was wrong with me. It was how I knew there was something sick inside." (One of them had to fall first. A story about devotion.)

an act of faith against the night (5953 words) by hathfrozen Chapters: 1/1 Summary: When Dean kisses him again, he tastes like Sam's tears. "I hate you," Sam whispers into Dean's mouth, still trying to get Dean to fuck him faster. No one should ever love this much. "It's your fault, this is your fault." Dean gave him this, everything that Sam never wants to lose, and now Dean's just going to tear it all away. He's going to throw himself away, like he's nothing, if Sam can't save him. (Angsty porn set sometime in Season 3. In lieu of actually talking things out, Sam and Dean have a lot of sex. Sometimes, like now, Sam breaks down.)

Bullet for my Valentine (8840 words) by merle_p Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supernatural Summary: Stupid. He is so goddamn fucking stupid. Running his mouth like a fucking idiot, not knowing when to leave well enough alone. Bad enough that he just practically talked dirty to his little brother, which, Christ – he must be more stressed than he thought if his self-control mechanisms have started malfunctioning that badly. But no, no, he came up with a scenario straight out of a bad slasher film, as if that is something normal people talk dirty about, as if that is something Sam would seriously enjoy. As if – As if Dean hadn’t hunted his own brother through the maze of the bunker, eyes black and hammer raised to strike, not even a full year ago. As if Sam hadn’t, just a few weeks back, knelt at his feet, neck bared, waiting for Dean to deal a fatal blow with a fucking scythe

Sam has a serial killer kink and Dean indulges him. There is no explicit consent discussion prior to the kink exploration. But there is a safeword that Sam is fully able to use.

With Your Dreams Untold (10157 words) by waywardelle Chapters: 1/1 Summary: For the past ten years, Dean has been bookmarking porn on the laptop for Sam to watch. Sam figured it would never go further than that, until one night, not long after killing Hitler, Dean decides to be brave. One thing is for sure: Dean is never going to let Sam live down the fact that porn is what brought them together, in the end. Set between 12x06 & 12x07, but not necessarily a coda.

Walkin' the Tightrope (24702 words) by non_tiembo_mala Chapters: 1/1 Summary: It’s 2036, and twenty years since Sam and Dean called it quits on hunting to take up a secluded, quiet life. Maybe Jesse and Cesar gave them the idea, but after Amara, they realized they’d done enough. And they wanted a proper life together even more. Known as Sam Wesson and Dean Smith to the residents of the nearby town they call home, Sam and Dean keep mostly to themselves, their immaculately kept ‘67 Chevy Impala, and their cabin in the woods. That is, until someone from their past tracks them down, desperate for help. Sam and Dean can’t say no, not when it’s their dear friend Jody Mills in deep trouble – she’s missing – but the wedding bands they wear make going back to their old life just that little bit more complicated…

because you want to die for love (27299 words) by hathfrozen Chapters: 1/1 Series: Part 1 of Heaven verse Summary: He almost misses it. “Seventy-eight days.” A beat passes. “What?” That’s the face of twenty-four year old Sam staring at Dean with the eyes of the thirty-six year old Sam he left behind. Dean can’t get a read on him, on the expression there when Sam clarifies, “It was only seventy-eight days. I lived for seventy-eight days without you, and then I ended up here.” (Sam and Dean settle into their Heaven—and into each other, too.)

Just about everything by hathfrozen is awesome. The author really knows Sam and Dean and hathfrozen explores their unhinged dynamics well.

Strange How the Night Moves (2282 words) by dollylux Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam and Dean talk about Sam's night with Piper.

Kings of Christmas (4987 words) by brokenlittleboy Chapters: 1/1 Summary: During the holidays at the bunker, Sam and Dean engage in a tense competition over who can decorate the bunker the best. Things get out of hand, but in a good way.

The Exodus (14189 words) by waywardelle Chapters: 1/1 Summary: So. Dean left with Cas over a week ago on some sort of recon mission, and yeah, Sam has been trying to bury himself in research, but he's just not coping all that well with the long-term separation. He wakes up early one morning, expecting the day to be like all the rest, except it's even worse than all the rest, because he's completely and totally alone on his (brother-less) thirty-fourth birthday. His bleak outlook quickly changes with an unexpected phone call, and he has to admit that maybe someone, somewhere answered his embarrassingly needy birthday wish, despite his lack of candles to blow out.

Promise Me (9281 words) by brokenlittleboy Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supernatural Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel Additional Tags: Soulmates, Fluff, Romance, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Men of Letters Bunker, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Winchesters, Canon Compliant, Top Dean, Bottom Sam, Frottage, Anal Sex, Sleepy Kisses, Minor Character(s) Series: Part 4 of Commissions Summary: Dean makes a promise to Sam. He'd already made a commitment to his brother in a church, but this time is more significant and meaningful. Their lives are already weird enough that one incestuous marriage proposal won't flip things upside down.

Sweet Sin, So Naked and Bare (16105 words) by HandsAcrossTheSea Chapters: 1/1 Summary: “Have you ever thought about us doing it bare?” Sam pauses with his coffee cup halfway to his mouth and brings his gaze up. “What do you mean?” “You know. Fucking bareback.” Dean’s not looking at him and Sam really, really wishes he would. Sam sets the cup down and exhales slowly. “Maybe.”

the need to choose (4542 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Castiel tells Dean something he never expected to hear.

This is an amazing fic. It does involve Mpreg and Non-traditional A/B/O dynamics. Dean is told he is pregnant. It also discusses the possibility of abortion due to the possibility of Sam and Dean being vessels and their war with Heaven and Hell. I think the concept is utterly brilliant. Sam and Dean having a child would really make it so that Heaven and Hell hunt them down or they give up their child.

reclamation (4152 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Once they're finally on the same page again, once things are okay, Sam realizes there's just one thing missing.

femme (4460 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Rummaging around the internet, Dean finds a kink he hadn't seen before; Sam explains, and demonstrates.

the beams of our house are cedar (7864 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: While they're still cementing the bunker as theirs, Dean remembers something he used to play with, when he was younger. He decides to give Sam a surprise, whenever he gets home.

there will be better days (9430 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam and Dean settle into their heaven.

ambiguity (4155 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam has a fantasy that he's long wanted to see realized. Dean misunderstands, at first, but Sam sets him straight.

a gift; win-win (967 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam wants to watch; Dean obliges.

oh so good, oh so fine (7580 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Series: Part 1 of it started with the kinks Summary: Zachariah gave them their memories back, but he didn't erase what had happened in the time they were other people. Dean Smith made a mistake, and Dean Winchester--well. He's still living with it.

kansas city (4231 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam dies in a barn, and Dean tries to live, after.

deadlybride is one of my favorite wincest authors. everything they write is certified gold. Also, I'm a simple woman, I enjoy reading about Dean in panties.

Good Clean Fun (6050 words) by nigeltde Summary: Loose lips sink ships.

Fair warning, if Sam and Dean having sex when Sam may not be fully with reality squicks you then proceed with caution. It is not stated out right and it is left ambiguous.

Lips That Unlock Doors (2668 words) by AlulaSpeaks Chapters: 1/1 Dean may have the lips that unlock doors, but it’s Sam’s mouth that drives Dean crazy.

Dean just wanted a taste.

You Have Always Been a Fire, Burning Under My Skin (6037 words) by faequeentitania Chapters: 1/1 Series: Part 1 of Sharing is Caring Summary: The first time Sam woke up to the sound of Dean jerking off, he was twelve. Hearing your brother stroking himself in the middle of the night shouldn't be a turn on at twelve. And it definitely shouldn't be a turn on at twenty-two, either. But here he was.

The entire series is awesome. There is hetero sex but Sam/Dean has a pretty established thing going on throughout. Sam and Dean enjoy sharing their sexual experiences with women and they enjoy having threesomes.

Giving Thanks (23271 words) by chiquititasnewsong Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam forgets it’s Thanksgiving until he finds Dean in the kitchen at the bunker getting ready for a huge holiday spread. Whether it’s the day or the atmosphere or some kind of odd cosmic synchronicity, Sam takes a chance that turns out to change his life in ways he never dreamed possible.

I love this fic so fuckin much. The mutual pining and the increasing sexual tension is everything to me.

To Have and To Hold (3668 words) by fallingintodivinity Chapters: 1/1 Summary: It’s while standing in the middle of the vegetable aisle at a Wal-Mart, a slightly wilted head of lettuce in one hand and a six-pack of beer in the other, that Dean Winchester realizes he’s married.

A Warm Respite from a Chilly Night (1854 words) by doilycoffin Chapters: 1/1 After spending a good chunk of their evening freezing their asses off, Dean decides to warm him and Sam up with some good old fashioned spiked hot cocoa. And if it results in him getting to have a little fun with a very tipsy and horny Sam, then who is he to complain?

It's all consensual.

In the Chair Next to Mine (14407 words) by chiquititasnewsong Chapters: 1/1 Summary: This was written for this prompt from the SPN Masquerade Round 10: WINCEST - CAMPBELL BROTHERS, MARRIAGE KINK from: (anonymous) they really do love their little life in lebanon; the cozy quaint togetherness, the domestic bliss of coupledom, and they definitely get off on fooling the townspeople—letting everyone think they're mr. and mr. for real. (matching rings, the occasional pet name slipped, no one around them realizing they're getting an eyeful of incest every time a kiss is shared in public.)

Sam has a serious and intense incest kink. Dean gets into it.

Cri de Cœur [The Heart's Cry] (37817 words) by kelleigh Chapters: 7/7 Summary:

Sam and Dean could use a break after banishing God’s sister to the far reaches of oblivion. However, a new case drops into their laps when they receive a message sent to the Men of Letters using a strange old code. The name Campbell makes it impossible for them to refuse. The hunt takes the Winchesters back to Charleston, South Carolina, a city they haven’t been through in almost twenty years. It plunges them into the obscure and bloody history of an old plantation where ghost sightings and a consuming madness mean the clock is ticking.

Using every resource they have, including the help of the last Campbell ancestor in the South, the testimony of a powerless ghost, and the expertise of a handsome young historian, Sam and Dean need to uncover the truth behind the haunting before it claims another innocent victim. Based on the short story, The Yellow Wallpaper.

This is the second part of a series but it can be read as a stand alone. I love reading case fics and love reading ones that read like it could be on the show. This is awesome. Takes a divergence after Amara reunites with Chuck.

Sticking With You (10522 words) by smalltrolven Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam’s soul has been stretched to the limit after being attached to Chuck via the damn bullet in his shoulder. But now he has something to decide: whether or not to fill Dean in about what had really happened to Sam while Dean was off hunting on his own and killing his old buddy. It takes him the whole drive to Alaska, and nearly the whole way back to work up the courage to spill the whole story.

Dean helps Sam's soul heal and it is a beautiful thing.

nothing's gonna hurt you, baby (17652 words) by orphan_account Chapters: 1/1 Summary: “You get to have this, Dean.” The brush of Sam’s mouth against his own is the sweetest ache. Lips catch and drag and Sam whispers into his mouth, “You get to have this. If you want this, I’m giving it to you. Let me give this to you.” Dean wants to say yes. He wants to say please and I love you and thank you. For the trust, the devotion, the care. It’s not something that has ever needed to be verbalised but god, in this moment Dean wants nothing more than to tell this boy just how much he loves him. “Yeah. Yeah, Sam — I want this.” The words taste like the sweetest freedom and a thousand more years of damnation but Sam’s tongue soothes the burn of them. Long fingers cradle the back of his head tenderly, so tenderly, like he’s something precious to be taken care of, and Dean’s chest feels fit to bursting with how much he loves this kid.

I adore this fic. I really really do. and its sexy hot. This has Daddy kink. Sam calls Dean Daddy and it has undertones of subdropping.

Every New Beginning (1881 words) by remy Chapters: 1/1 Summary: one night you realize you love him, you love him in a way you shouldn’t, in a way you can never tell anyone, least of all him because he is not here. he is miles and miles and miles below your feet, so far out of your reach that you can’t even imagine it, and your chest hurts so sharp and vindictive you can’t breathe. and here’s the thing – without him, you don’t want to.

This is written in second person but it is an honestly beautiful depiction of Dean's feelings for Sam.

they were each other's toxic cure called codependency (2172 words) by nowhere_blake Series: Part 8 of codas for the damned and the brokenhearted Summary: Mary’s back, Dean is gone and Sam stops sleeping. She thought she understood how deep her boys' relationship goes, but when Michael takes over and Dean disappears, she needs to reevaluate just exactly how scarily codependent the two of them are. Coda to 14x01 Stranger in a Strange Land.

There's No Normal After That (6274 words) by Fenix21 Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Dean discovers the truth behind the words of what it really means to love his brother.

Dean's turmoil after Sam's non-death is good stuff. This fic is set after Red Meat.

O Heavenly Christmas (8124 words) by SmackTheDevil Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Reunited on a bridge in Heaven, Sam and Dean have much to catch up on and slide back into their close relationship as if they had never been apart. Sam is reflective about a life long lived, while Dean is his usual self; cracking jokes and teasing his brother. But without the weight of the world on their shoulders, for the first time, in a long time they are both able to relax and talk about their time together on Earth, relive a few memories and enjoy their first Christmas together in Heaven.

amazing work and the progress of their re-joining is beautiful

ain't it a gentle sound, the rolling in the graves? (ain't you my baby?) (3367 words) by pilotflyingj Summary: Five times Dean calls Sam "baby," and one time he doesn't.

Monsters Are Always Hungry (27458 words) by untraceablegirl23 Chapters: 1/1 Summary: He peers down at him for just a second, a second that skips on like hours, because looking at Sam is like giving something up, like air, like space, and being replaced entirely with devotion. (Nonlinear depiction of the time Sam and Dean are found out and how it all comes to in the months beforehand which are Heaven and Hell at once. Or an acknowledgement of just how far they’d go for each other, even when it’s beyond wrong, because how can you hide when you’re entirely made for someone else?)

Midnight Ride (2749 words) by ani_coolgirl Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam really just means to get some sleep. But if he wants Dean’s good mood to last, he may as well indulge and enjoy the ride.

Sam indulging Dean's cowboy while Castiel and Jack are in the next room.

#wincest #I have over 100 saved wincest fics #I have a problem #personal #wincest fic recs

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moonchildreads · 11 months

Text

small town

Chapter 17 - Girls Just Want to Have Fun

IN THIS CHAPTER: A short roadtrip, blackmailing a jock, and Lady Di sends a signal [7.7k]

WARNINGS: andy the bully makes an appearance but nothing serious happens! lots of foreshadowing tho lol

A/N: shout out to my beloved @justahappycloud for vibechecking andy and dot's conversation for me! you're absolutely wonderful and i honest to god cannot believe i'm gonna hug you in a couple of days. i love you so so much, and i can't wait to tell you that in person. having said that, i'm gonna take a break from posting because i'm going on holiday! i'll still be around if you want to talk and i might leave... a couple of extras for you... you'll have to see! regular updates will return on friday, june 30th!

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Oh, daddy dear, you know you're still number one But girls, they wanna have fun

Friday, May 23rd - 1986

Dorothy Burke couldn’t remember being this fucking angry in her entire goddamn life. She was pretty sure that if she were a cartoon character, steam would have been coming out of her ears the minute she heard Andy fucking Humphrey brag about getting an A in his latest AP Spanish pop quiz. She’d been watching him all week, eyes always stuck to his back during class, ears perking up when she heard his obnoxious cackle in the cafeteria, hands turning into fists when he’d “accidentally” tripped a quiet sophomore on his way to the bathroom. So when Mr. Lorenzo returned last week’s pop quizzes to them on Wednesday and praised him for “finally deciding to take his studies seriously” after she saw him cheat on the entire test, Dottie began plotting for revenge. Not because of the test, she didn’t give two shits about that and, of course, snitches get stitches. No, this one was for Gareth, and Dustin, and Donny, and Jeff, and any of the times he thought being Hawkins High royalty absolved him from sin. She’d make him pay. Not right now, but eventually he’d get what was coming to him. And it all began that Friday before finals week.

Her last class on Fridays was, thankfully, AP Spanish. Dottie planned everything to perfection, tested her escape route on Wednesday in case she needed a quick getaway, and asked her friends to wait until her Dad came to pick her up so she wouldn’t be caught alone in the parking lot if everything went to shit. Hellfire had been canceled because the boys had tickets to see Poltergeist II: The Other Side at 6 pm, but the props room they used as headquarters was unlocked in case she needed a place to hide for a bit. When the final bell of the day rang, she hurried to get her things in her bag and approached Andy’s desk with a sweet smile and shy act that she’d successfully tried on Fred earlier that week. Nancy had, of course, asked her what that had been about, but Dottie had simply told her that the less she knew, the better. The blue eyed girl had grinned with a weird sense of pride and left her to her devices without any more questions.

“Hi! Andy, right?” Dottie asked, carefully crafted honey dripping from her tongue.

“Who’s asking?” he said without looking up, still gathering his things.

“We’re in this class together, I sit over there,” she said, waiting until his eyes landed on her to point to her desk. She could feel his confused eyes scanning her: cute little dress, frilly socks, no Hellfire shirt, pearls in her ears. He has no idea who I am.

“Yeah, of course! I’ve seen you around,” he said, trying to hide the fact that he actually did not know who the fuck Dottie was. Sadly for him, it wasn’t working.

“I saw you did really well on the last pop quiz and I was wondering if you could help me out,” she widened her eyes a little bit to look more innocent and saw the corner of his mouth lift into a half smirk. God, men are so easy, she thought, remembering how Fred had rapidly blinked three times in a row when she pulled that move on him. “Can I see your answers, please?”

“Uh, sure, yeah,” Andy stammered, extremely confused but not about to complain if a pretty girl was making goo-goo eyes at him. Dottie wasn’t the type he usually went for; he liked them better skinny, tall and tanned, but there was a certain kind of charm to the girl-next-door type. “I could, y’know- I could help you study for the final, if you want.”

“Really? Wow, you’re so nice,” she pretended to fawn over him until he got the test out of his binder and gave it to her. The classroom was empty now. “Actually, there was something I wanted to ask you about…”

“Go on,” he said, sitting on his desk to flirt back with her. “Ask me whatever you want, babe.”

Babe. Oh, he was gonna get it now. She had him right where she wanted, and all she had to do was reel him in. Channeling her inner devil, she came up to where he was sitting to stand between his open legs, hand resting on his knee.

“Anything I want?” she smiled, and he nodded. “Well, how about… you leave my friends alone for the rest of the year and I don’t tell Mr. Lorenzo you cheated on this?” she waved the test in the air.

“What?”

“See, you might not know who I am, but I know you, Andy,” she dropped the sweet act instantly, hard eyes on his. He looked so confused. “And last Wednesday, you made the mistake of letting me see you cheat. You even smiled at me while you did it. I gotta admit, it was the first time I saw someone write down the answers on the inside of a water bottle sticker, that shit was clever.”

“Who put you up to this?” he asked, rage beginning to catch up to his bewilderment. She had to get out of there, fast.

“I know you egged Gareth Coleman on Thursday after class. It would be a shame if Mr. Lorenzo found out about your little water bottle trick, don’t you think? You really need this A if you’re gonna keep that Division II scholarship you got to, where was it? Indiana Central?”

“You’re a fucking bitch,” he got up from his desk, getting in her face. He was barely an inch shorter than Eddie, and while the metalhead’s height had always been comforting for her, Andy’s was downright intimidating.

“And you’re a lousy cheater,” she retorted, grabbing the strap of her bag, ready to bolt out into the packed hallway.

“You have no proof.”

“Don’t I?” she said, pressing on her backpack where she’d tucked in an empty plastic bottle. It wasn’t even the correct brand, but he didn’t know that, and his eyes burned when he heard the crackling noise. “Stay away from the boys in the Hellfire Club. This is your only warning.”

And with that, she bolted straight to the girls’ bathroom at the end of the hallway before he could even think about reacting. This particular bathroom had two exits, and she took advantage of that knowledge to sprint across to the other door, past the labs, turning the corner to the Art room and out into the parking lot, where she immediately clocked her friends hanging out between Eddie’s van and Donny’s car, Dustin and Mike leaning onto their bikes while they talked. All the way across the parking lot, was Jason Carver’s car, where its owner and his friends were clearly waiting for one Andy Humphrey to arrive.

“Eddie!” she yelled through gritted teeth, trying to get his attention. “For the love of God, Eddie!”

“Hey, what’s- woah!” she threw herself on him and stuck her hand in his front jean pocket, getting his keys out and opening the van’s back doors before jumping inside with the haste of a madwoman. “Dot, what’s wrong?”

“I fucked up- close the fucking doors! If Andy sees me, we’re all dead!”

“Wait, what? What did Andy do now?” Donny asked, climbing into the back of the van behind her. The rest of the boys looked at each other before they too got in and closed the doors, separating themselves from the rest of the student body.

“He didn’t do anything, I just- I threatened to tell a teacher that he cheated on a test if he bothered you guys again.”

“You did what?!” Eddie asked, eyebrows raising to his hairline.

“I know! I know I fucked up, I was just so fucking angry! He thinks he’s untouchable and it’s about time someone showed him he’s not!”

“Okay, back up. What exactly did you do?” Dustin asked.

Dottie took a deep breath and began retelling the week’s events to the six boys that were surrounding her in the back of the van. The parking lot began to empty and only a few cars remained by the time she had finished but her Dad was still nowhere to be found. An uncomfortable silence settled between them while they took in the situation at hand.

“She can’t be alone anymore,” Mike said, looking at Eddie for guidance.

“You really think he’s gonna hit her?” Gareth asked with worried eyes.

“I wouldn’t put it past him,” Dustin said. “Do you think he’s gonna tell the rest of the team?”

“I didn’t tell him my name,” Dottie remembered. “They might not even know who I am, I mean, he didn’t and we’ve been in the same class for months.”

“You told him to leave Hellfire alone, it doesn’t matter if they don’t know you. They know us.”

“Shit, do you think we’re all gonna be targets now?” Jeff looked scared.

“You say that like we weren’t before,” Mike argued.

“We have to move in groups, we can’t let them catch us alone,” Donny said.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough!” Eddie raised his voice, cutting the chatter short. “You good, darling?”

“I didn’t mean to make them come after you,” she put her head in her hands. She’d been so angry that she didn’t stop to think how she might be making things worse with her well-intentioned actions. “God, I’m such an idiot.”

“You’re so not an idiot, come here,” he tucked her under his arm, squeezing her protectively. “You meant well but that’s not how these guys work. They are meatheads, you can’t reason with them.”

“So what do we do?” Jeff asked him.

“Donny’s right, we move in groups from now on. No one goes anywhere alone for the rest of the school year. We’ve got three more weeks and we’re done. Avoid the basketball team, keep your heads down,” Eddie turned to Mike and Dustin. “If anyone does anything to you, you come to me. You think Sinclair can help you two out?”

“We haven’t talked to Lucas in months,” Dustin admitted, looking a little ashamed.

“We don’t need him,” Mike dismissed his friend quickly. “We’ll stick with you guys.”

“Carver’s car is gone,” Gareth announced, peeking through a side window.

“Get home now, take the backroads,” Eddie opened the doors and heaved Dustin’s bike up from the concrete for him. “We’ll figure out pairs on Monday.”

“I’m sorry,” Dottie tried apologizing again, but Dustin went in for a hug.

“It’s okay. We’ve been through worse, I promise,” the younger boy smiled reassuringly.

“Besides, this means you’re officially one of the freaks now,” Mike said, successfully getting a low snort from her.

They said their goodbyes and Dustin and Mike climbed onto their bikes, speeding off the parking lot with impressive alacrity. Donny and Jeff sat themselves on the back of Eddie’s van, surveying the area. Only a couple of cars remained, mostly belonging to teachers. Gareth’s bus had already left, and Eddie offered to give him a ride before turning to Dottie.

“You sure your Dad’s coming?”

“Yeah, he said he was gonna get off early so we could go to Indy. Maybe he got held up at the office?”

“What are you going to Indy for?” Jeff asked.

“Prom’s in two weeks and I still don’t have a dress so hopefully I’ll find something there today or else I’m going naked.”

“Auditioning for Playboy at prom? That’s bold,” Gareth joked, and she immediately kicked his leg.

“Don’t get cute with me, Gareth, I know where you keep your porn.”

“We all know,” Donny said, leaning back on his arms. “He’s not very good at hiding it.”

“I bet his Mom knows too, she just pretends she hasn’t seen it,” Eddie snickered.

“Shut up!” Gareth jumped on Eddie, trying to wrestle him down to the dirty floor.

“Hey, whose car is that?” Jeff asked Donny and Dottie, completely ignoring the other boys yelping while play fighting between their rides. “It’s been there for like twenty minutes.”

“Must be a teacher’s,” Donny guessed. “I saw a pregnant lady come out of it earlier.”

“There aren’t any pregnant teachers.”

“Yeah? Then who’s that?” Donny pointed to the school doors where there was, indeed, a pregnant woman waddling towards the mystery car, another lady behind her searching through her big purse, probably trying to find her car keys.

Nothing could have prepared Dottie for what she was about to see when she turned, because never in her wildest dreams had she imagined she’d see two of her aunts casually strolling through the Hawkins High School parking lot towards a car neither of them owned, as evidenced by its Indiana “Wander” license plate. What on Earth-

“Auntie Rachel?” Dottie raised her voice, and the woman going through her purse looked up instantly, keys finally in her hand.

“Hey, there you are! We’ve been looking for you everywhere!” the woman now known as Rachel said, quickly changing paths and power walking towards them, heels clicking on the concrete. “Your Dad said you get off at two!”

“I do, I just got held up,” Dottie hurried to wrap her arms around her Auntie. “What are you doing here?”

“Your Dad called for backup and we honestly needed a girly weekend,” the pregnant woman said, one hand resting on her belly and the other one at her back, her flowy floral dress swishing around her ankles as she waddled closer to them.

“It’s the last time Mary Elizabeth’s gonna be able to get on a plane until Rose arrives so we spent all my miles and we’re taking you to Indianapolis for a shopping trip.”

“You came all the way to Hawkins to help me buy a prom dress?” Dottie said, disbelief painted all over her face.

“It’s your senior prom, baby,” Mary Elizabeth said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Did you really think we were gonna miss it?”

“Are these your friends?” Rachel asked, directing her attention to the gaggle of boys that were staring up at them.

Gareth still had Eddie in a loose headlock, both letting go of each other instantly when the women approached with curious smiles and mischievous eyes on their faces. Auntie Rachel was a tall severe looking woman with thick rimmed glasses and a classy bob. Her lips were painted a deep burgundy, and she wore stylish pants and low heels - she looked as sophisticated as she was independent and open-minded. She was an accountant and many of her clients included investors that dabbled in the theater sphere, making her the one responsible for Dottie’s intense love of Broadway and musicals. She’d gone through a messy divorce around a year ago, had two boys (Nicky and Peter, ages 14 and 10), and had recently realized that maybe all those times Dottie had begged her to go see Rocky Horror together had been more enlightening than she had assumed they had been at the time.

Aunt Mary Elizabeth - not Mary, not Elizabeth, Mary Elizabeth - on other hand was the poster child for the 70’s hippie movement. What Rachel gave off in casual formality, Mary Elizabeth matched in cozy comfort with her sleeveless prairie style dress and sandals, baby bump proudly on display under the soft flowery pattern. She was married to Uncle Johnny, the same Uncle that Dottie had gone to for advice regarding Eddie’s moldy ceiling, and Rose, who was currently softly kicking her, was their first baby. She hadn’t been born yet but was very much expected and hard fought for.

“This is Hellfire! Guys, these are my Aunts: Rachel and Mary Elizabeth. Plus Rosie,” Dottie said, excited as always whenever her worlds collided.

“Which one of you is giving my niece latkes with applesauce?” Rachel asked, looking at them over the rim of her glasses.

“Uh, that- that’d be me. I’m Gareth,” the curly haired boy said, nervously.

“You’re my fave kid,” Rachel declared, nodding once.

“She’s Jewish,” Dottie said, like that explained everything and to Gareth, it did. “She’s never cooked for me though.”

“You know I can’t cook, my kids don’t even let me make toast,” she laughed, and the boys smiled. So Rachel is the fun aunt.

“Okay, then who is the one that makes those great mixtapes you were talking about the other day?” Mary Elizabeth wondered.

“I guess that’s me?” Donny chuckled, the tips of his ears red. “I’m Donny. Congrats on the baby!”

“Oh, aren’t you a sweetheart,” she said. “He’s my fave.”

“Which one’s yours then, bug?” Rachel joked.

“Definitely Jeff,” Dottie said and the boy beamed.

“Hey! I’m right here!” Eddie complained dramatically.

“You’re Eddie, right?” Mary Elizabeth said; he nodded. “I wouldn’t worry too much if I were you, you’re my husband’s favorite.”

“I am?”

“Yes! My husband was our DM, he thinks you’re very creative.”

“She’s married to Uncle Johnny,” Dottie told him. “The one that was in the bathroom picture from when I was a baby?”

“Ah, yes! Your Dad’s brother from a different father!” Eddie clapped once, knowing he got it right. “He knows about me?”

“Dorothy tells him about all your sessions,” Mary Elizabeth said. “Half of our friends don’t live in New York anymore so we haven’t played as much lately, he’s living vicariously through you guys at this point.”

“It’s great to meet you boys, but we should get going. We’re never gonna get to the shops in time if we keep dilly dallying,” Rachel said, ushering the girls towards the car.

“Okay, let me say goodbye first, damn,” Dottie got away from her insistent palms and headed straight into Donny’s arms. “I’m sorry about today.”

“Stop worrying about it. We’ll take care of each other.”

“You’re one of us, Dot. We got you,” Jeff said, joining the hug too. Gareth and Eddie looked at each other, shrugged once, and joined too.

“Go get your princess dress,” Eddie said, pulling away, not wanting to be clingy in front of her Aunts.

“Call when you get back?” Gareth asked as she walked away. “I wanna know what you got to see if we match!”

“When are you gonna be home?”

“Uhhh, around 8:30 maybe?”

“Gotcha. I’ll call around that time. Have fun, guys!”

“We’re still on for tomorrow, right?” Eddie wondered.

“Of course! Final stretch, Ed, you got this!”

Dottie got into the backseat of her Aunts’ rented car and waved to her friends as they sped away, Pat Benatar’s Invincible filling the air with girlish excitement. Andy fucking Humphrey didn’t matter anymore, not when Mary Elizabeth was singing along to the radio without a single care in the world and Rachel laughed like they were in their 20s again heading down to the beach in her brother’s old Jeep. All that was left, was to find the perfect dress and Dottie could finally convince herself that despite her major fuck up, everything would turn out fine.

They could not, in fact, find the perfect dress. They couldn't find any dress, actually, because if they were the right color, the size was wrong, and if the size was right, then it didn't come in Hellfire colors. Auntie Rachel had announced she was paying for the dress, and Aunt Mary Elizabeth and Uncle Johnny were paying for the shoes. But without the dress, there were no shoes, and without dress and shoes, Dottie couldn't spend the money her Dad had given her on accessories, and every minute that ticked on, she was closer and closer to auditioning for a Playboy centerfold at prom like Gareth had joked about.

Everyone was aware that prom was a sensitive topic for Dottie, and there wasn’t a single reason as to why it was that way. Past bad experiences coupled with the knowledge of yet another milestone she wasn’t sharing with her mother were bound to make anyone’s heart feel tender, so after Rachel noticed the decline in her niece's mood, she declared that they were taking a break from the prom-related shopping and instead let Dottie pick any shop in the immediate commercial area to explore. This wasn't an unusual activity for the girls; they had spent many afternoons browsing weird stores and open air markets, gathering silly little trinkets and handmade goods to bring back to their homes with tired feet and satisfied smiles. Dottie looked around mildly interested and clocked a big thrift shop with what looked like a comfy red couch in the middle of the store to her right, deciding to go in so Mary Elizabeth could rest her swollen ankles for a bit.

The shop was quirky, to say the least. Dottie loved thrift shops, having spent most of her early childhood browsing through rows and rows of clothes picking new tops and bottoms for the school year. Mary Elizabeth knew how to sew, and she'd taught Dottie basic skills like how to hem pants or how to tighten up the waistband on a too-big-skirt - a thrift shop was a treasure trove for creative and resourceful eyes. Rachel was distracted showing Mary Elizabeth baby clothes while the latter rubbed her growing belly on the couch when Dottie saw it. Red glittering chiffon, sweetheart neckline with delicate ruffles at the top and the bottom, and a full skirt that looked straight out of a fairytale.

A few years ago, back in 1982 when she was barely a freshman in high school, Dottie had seen in one of her Auntie Rachel's magazines a picture of one of the prettiest women she had ever laid eyes on. The woman was Lady Diana Spencer, Princess of Wales, and the magazine had run a full issue about her style and fashion choices, calling her an icon and praising her usage of patterns and bold colors. She remembered that in one of the pictures, Lady Diana had been wearing a red Bellville Sassoon dress during a night out at Covent Garden, and that she'd found it so beautiful she'd asked Rachel if she could keep the magazine because she wanted to wear a dress like that one day. That same dress, or one that looked very much like it, was currently staring back at Dottie from the very back of a rack full of poofier and tackier formal dresses.

"Found something you like, bug?" Rachel asked, coming to stand behind her with her hands on her niece's shoulders.

"I think... I think Lady Di is sending me a signal," she muttered breathlessly.

"What?"

Dottie walked up to the rack, almost scared to touch the dress in case it disappeared, but when her fingers buried themselves into fine chiffon, she pulled the dress off the hanger and pressed it to her body in awe.

"It's the dress, Auntie Rach. Remember? The Lady Di Covent Garden gown! With the black cape and silver shoes!"

"I can't say I remember, bug, but you like this one? Do you want to try it on?"

"I can't see a tag," Dottie said, frowning. "I don't know if it's my size."

"Go try it on anyway, we'll find an employee," Mary Elizabeth said, getting excited at the prospect of having found a miracle dress.

It was mere minutes later when both Aunts and an older lady that worked at the store wearing khaki pants and a name tag that said Cynthia heard a soft "holy shit" coming from behind one of the changing booth's curtains. It opened to reveal a dumbfounded Dottie, looking like a princess herself in the floor-length glittery gown.

"How does it fit, sweetie?" asked Cynthia.

"It's... it's perfect? The skirt is a little bit long but everything else is... yeah, it's perfect."

"Never mind the skirt, I can hem that for you in a couple of hours. And it's red, just how you wanted, right?" Mary Elizabeth said.

"Yeah, it's the shade of red I wanted," Dottie said. The dress was the exact same shade of Eddie's tie. "How much is it?"

"I don't think we put a price on this one yet," Cynthia said. "It came in late yesterday and I haven't gotten around to it. This woman came in and dropped three boxes full of stuff on us, said she was moving away and couldn't take everything with her. You’re a really lucky girl!”

“I think I am,” Dottie mumbled, looking at herself in the mirror while she lifted the skirt up to fit her better.

“Okay, how about we go see if there’s anything else you like while Rachel gets this sorted out for you, huh? Maybe we can find some cute shoes to go with it!” said Mary Elizabeth, staring pointedly at Rachel with a clear message: Get her the dress before she can overthink it and convince herself she doesn’t deserve it because the price isn’t right.

With the help of Mary Elizabeth (and Rosie, who was being very active today), a full outfit was put together rather quickly. A gold round sparkly handbag was added to the pile, along with gold kitten heels and a dainty gold necklace with a single white glittery stone. Dottie knew exactly what other pieces from her own jewelry box she was gonna wear: her Mom’s wedding ring and earrings, simple, classy, and meaningful. A way to keep Margaret close on a very special moment. Also on their checkout pile were a handful of baby clothes for Rosie, a Spider-Man backpack for Rachel’s youngest son, a couple of 70s loose dresses for Mary Elizabeth’s growing belly, and a pair of jean shorts and two new shirts for Dottie. She saved a bit of the money James had given her to buy more yarn for the blanket she was knitting for Rose, and after all that shopping, the three girls were hungry and desperately in need of a place to sit down. Rachel pointed to a nearby pub that looked fairly empty, and they made their way towards the building with happy hearts and spirits thoroughly lifted.

While Dottie was on her girls’ day out, Eddie was fidgeting in his theater seat. He knew that he was gonna have to share her with her Aunts all weekend, and he was scared about what they’d think of him constantly invading her personal space. They looked nice enough, and he was aware that Rachel herself was a bit of a freak - she had, after all, seen Rocky Horror live as many times as Dottie herself had - but there was still some part of him that kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. Things were going entirely too well for him, and he wasn’t used to that.

During the week, he’d tested out a few more theories he had about Dot and was now more certain than ever that he had an opening with her. It had been rainy and cold on Monday, and he’d slipped the flannel he had tied around his hip on her shoulders before second period began; she’d worn it all day and he’d caught her burrowing into it during lunch while she waited for him to get his tray. On Tuesday, she’d brought Wayne homemade banana bread, and on Thursday, she’d asked Eddie to hang out in their spot at Lover’s Lake for a bit before bringing her home, saying she needed to clear her head. They’d sat side by side with legs dangling off the back of his van, and he’d tried teaching her to skip stones to no success. She’d snorted every time the rock sank into the water, and leaned into him when he stepped behind her and grabbed her hand to guide her through the correct motions. He would have kissed her right there and then, but he was convinced she deserved more than a lousy confession in a deserted clearing in the middle of the woods. So Eddie waited, knowing that graduation was only three Fridays away, and he was gonna sweep her off her feet while they wore their ugly black and green gowns and make her feel like the princess he thought he was.

Truth be told, he shouldn’t have been so worried, not when 45 minutes away Dottie sat in that Indianapolis pub, eyes glued to the small menu in her hands but mind in Hawkins, wondering what Eddie was gonna wear for prom besides the gorgeous tie Chrissy had gifted him. She was comparing pros and cons of him wearing a white or a black shirt when Rachel tapped the top of the laminated paper and brought her attention back to the table.

“Can’t decide?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Dottie said, sheepishly. “Which one do you think is better, the cheeseburger with bacon or the chicken stripes with BBQ sauce?”

“The cheeseburger sounds good. I’m getting the buffalo wings,” Mary Elizabeth said, rubbing her stomach. “Believe it or not, this girlie likes spicy things.”

“She’s gonna run circles around all of us,” Rachel said fondly. “I’m gonna get the Reuben. And a glass of wine.”

“Okay, I’ll go order then. Lemonade?” Dottie asked Mary Elizabeth, getting up to head into the bar area.

“Oooh, please!”

Dottie left her Aunts at the table with their shopping bags, and got in line at the register behind a middle aged man while she glanced around the pub. It was a good size, probably even a bit bigger than The Hideaway where she’d gone to play pool with her Dad and Uncles Rob and Joe while they were in town for her birthday. There was a jukebox near the entrance, and a low small stage to the right with a lone mic and stool. A tired looking young man was putting up a poster advertising the weekend’s shows near the bar area. It was a cozy place, probably a cheap hangout spot for college students to relax at after a long week of studying and working. Behind the bar counter was an attractive young woman with wild, crimped raven hair and bold makeup.

“What can I get for you?”

“Hi! Can I get a cheeseburger with bacon, a Reuben, buffalo wings, two lemonades and a glass of wine? Red, please.”

“Uh, you’re not over 21, are you?”

“No, I’m 18, but it’s not for me. It’s for my Aunt, we’re sitting over there,” Dottie pointed at the two older women.

“Good. I’ll get a server to bring you your order when it’s done. Normally I wouldn’t care about the age thing, but it’s still kinda early, y’know?” the girl said, punching a few buttons on the till. “Gotta wait until the sun goes down to start ignoring IDs.”

“I imagine most college kids around here are grateful for that, aren’t they?”

“Yeah, it gets busy after 8. You don’t go to IUPUI?”

“No, I’m not from Indy. I’m going to Michigan next year.”

“State?”

“UMich. You?”

“Final year at Purdue. Forensic science,” she shrugged. “You look like an English major.”

“That was my second choice, actually. Decided on being an elementary school teacher.”

“Yikes. Good luck with that,” the girl laughed. “I’m the oldest of six so kids… not my jam.”

“I’m an only child so, kids? Totally my jam.”

“Figures. I’m Jessie,” the girl said, putting out her hand for a shake. Her dark apron moved revealing half of a logo on the front of her shirt Dottie would recognize anywhere: Metallica.

“I’m Dottie. I’ve got a question for you, if you don’t mind.”

“Shoot.”

“How do I get a really cool band up on that stage?”

“You in a band, teach?” Jessie grinned.

“No, my friends are. They’ve got a regular gig in our town, I think you might like them.”

“Yeah? What’s their name?”

“Corroded Coffin. They play metal covers mostly, but they’ve got a few originals too.”

“You their manager or something?”

“Maybe,” Dottie smiled. “I know next week’s setlist if that helps convince you.”

“Go for it.”

Dottie began ratting off the list she’d heard them put together on Wednesday, which included Black Sabbath, Mötorhead, Judas Priest, Dio, and the lone Anthrax song Gareth had insisted on for ten minutes before they relented and said yes. She mentioned how they also played Metallica and Iron Maiden regularly, and were known to crank out a Mötley Crüe song or two upon request without admitting that she was the one doing the requesting, much to Eddie’s chagrin. Jessie listened, nodding approvingly with her arms crossed. She had a snake tattooed around her left upper arm peeking out from her black t-shirt, and Dottie thought it might be the coolest tattoo she’d seen in her entire life.

“Okay, teach. I’m convinced. Let me see when we’ve got an opening.”

Jessie grabbed a battered notebook from under the counter and pulled a pen out of her apron, quietly muttering to herself as she flicked pages. Dottie turned to her Aunts who were eyeing her with interest. The Dorothy they knew didn’t talk to strangers, at least not willingly. She hated small talk, only engaging in it if an old lady started it in order to not come across as rude, but had developed the ability to quickly direct the conversation to non-personal topics like the weather or the price of the bag of oranges the old lady was purchasing. Seeing their niece chit chatting like it was something common she did all the time was downright strange, even if it was a welcome sight. How much had living in Hawkins truly changed her? Did it have anything to do with the boys hanging out with her in the school’s parking lot?

“Earliest spot we’ve got is at the end of June,” Jessie said, grimacing.

“Oh, that’s perfect! That’s after graduation, we’re totally free during June.”

“Friday, June 27th is okay then?”

“Absolutely, yes!”

“We can pay $25 per performer and you can have free drinks all night, but we’ll cut you off if anyone gets too drunk. How many are there in the band?” she asked, writing Corroded Coffin under the aforementioned date.

“Just four. Two guitarists, one drummer, one bassist. We have to bring our own equipment, right?”

“Yeah, all that’s on you. Are you all under 21?”

“Yes, lead guitar is the oldest and he’s 20.”

“They’ve got one hour divided into two chunks with a ten minute break in the middle, shows start at 9:30 usually. You’re coming with them? We can pay you after the set’s done, I’ll keep a free table for you guys at the front. You can watch them from there, we don’t have a green room.”

“That sounds wonderful, thank you, Jessie.”

“Here,” Jessie gave her a napkin with the bar’s info. “Call that number if you need to cancel or reschedule. If they tell you I’m not around, ask for Mark, he’s the day shift manager.”

“Okay, I will. See you in a month then! They won’t disappoint you, I promise!”

“I’m counting on it, teach!”

She came back to the table with an unprecedented giddiness, or at least, nothing her Aunts had ever seen in a long time. Dottie explained her conversation with Jessie the night shift manager while they waited for their food, and when it had arrived, her Aunts grilled her for more information about her friends and their band. She explained what each of them did within Corroded Coffin, taking the time to praise them separately for their skills, mentioning Eddie’s recent songwriting knack and Gareth’s future career as a trained percussionist. She told them in confidence that Jeff was thinking of joining a choral ensemble in West Virginia, excited about the prospect of traveling to perform around the States. Her Aunts let her talk as much as she wanted until the sun had gone down, the college students started showing up, and after a quick bathroom visit, it was finally time for them to leave. They were walking back to the car when Dottie spotted a payphone and began rummaging through her backpack.

“Hold on, let me- I gotta make a phone call!” she told her Aunts, speeding away towards the cabin with her coin purse in her hand.

“Do you get the feeling someone exchanged our Dorothy for a new one?” Rachel asked, following her niece at a much slower pace.

“She’s happy here,” Mary Elizabeth simply said.

“Did you ever notice she was that unhappy back in New York? What was going on under our noses? How couldn’t we tell?”

“That doesn’t matter now. Let her have this. She deserves it.”

“Hello, Mrs. Coleman? It’s Dottie!” the teen said into the phone, both Aunts trying to eavesdrop from outside the cabin. “I know Gareth is still at The Hawk, but could you tell him to come to my house as soon as he arrives? Everything’s okay, I just have good news I want to share with him. Yes, thank you! And could you please tell him to bring the guys around too? I think I’ll be home at around 9 probably, so- okay. Okay, thank you! Sorry to have bothered you at this hour, have a good night!”

“Your friends are coming over?” Rachel asked when she hung up.

“Yeah,” Dottie grinned, and for a brief second, they could have sworn it wasn’t her but Margaret the one who was smiling at them.

A girl’s road trip was never complete without gossiping, and Rachel was showing an incredible amount of restraint when she waited until they had passed the "Leaving Indianapolis - Come Again Soon" sign to lower the radio's volume; Mary Elizabeth looked at her with confusion in her eyes when Madonna’s Angel was cut short halfway into the song.

"So. We've got 45 minutes until we’re back in Hawkins. Gonna tell us what's going on with that Gareth kid or what?"

"Rachel!" Mary Elizabeth chastised.

"There's literally nothing going on. I don't know why you're even asking."

"You called last week to tell me all about the little sleepover you two had and you expect me to not be curious? You’ve been talking about him all day, bug."

"As you know, because I told you about it, we worked on a science project during that sleepover, which we got an A+ on. That's it, I don't see him like that," Dottie said. "Besides, we'd kill each other if we decided to date. He made me see The Exorcist last weekend, I would have murdered him if I didn’t fear prison."

"Hey, that's a good movie!" Mary Elizabeth said, and Rachel looked at her like she was insane. "What? Okay, yes, it's disturbing, but it's a good movie. It's well done."

"You worry me sometimes," Rachel told her before looking at Dottie through the rearview mirror. "You two had a movie night and he picked a horror flick?"

"It wasn't just us. Everyone else was there too, it was Eddie's birthday."

"Aw, that sounds fun. Did you have a good time?" Mary Elizabeth asked, turning in her seat to watch her niece's face.

"Yeah! I mean, the movie sucked and I think I had a panic attack for two hours straight, but we had ice cream later and saw Rocky Horror. That part was good,” she had a wistful look on her face as she looked out the window, remembering Eddie’s birthday.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Actually, everything's been really nice," Dottie laughed. "I just… I didn't know having friends was supposed to make you feel this good."

"Oh, baby," Mary Elizabeth reached out to grab her hand. "You really love those boys, don't you?"

"I do. And I really think they love me too. I don't feel lonely anymore when I’m with them."

"That's good, baby. I'm so happy for you. We were so scared after what happened last year, that awful girl was just-"

"It doesn't matter anymore,” Dottie shook her head. “I don't want to talk about that."

"So nothing's going on?" Rachel asked, but this time her tone was much more soft. “With any of them?”

"They are my friends. Best ones I've ever had," Dottie smiled. “I’d tell you if something was happening with Gareth, but there’s nothing there. I promise.”

“If you say so, bug,” Rachel said. “Johnny was once Mary Elizabeth’s best friend too, you know.”

“Oh, drop it, you nosy old lady,” Mary Elizabeth poked her.

“Who are you calling old?! We’re the same age, flower power!”

During the short trip back to Hawkins, somewhere between being grilled about one of her best friends and Rachel missing the correct exit, Dottie had dozed off in the back of the car while Sade’s Smooth Operator played in the background. Mary Elizabeth had taken off her sandals and propped her feet up on the dashboard, looking out at the quaint little houses and quiet downtown area, wondering if Rosie would like growing up in a place like this instead in the busy city she was so fond of. Rachel pulled into Dottie’s street and saw a familiar old van parked outside her home, four boys hanging out in the front lawn and James leaning onto the front door frame, all engaged in friendly conversation.

“Baby?” Mary Elizabeth called, rousing Dottie. “Your friends are here.”

Dottie opened her eyes, expression caught between drowsiness and excitement when they parked outside the house, all five men turning to look at them when they got out.

“Shopping went well, I see,” James smiled, looking at their bags dangling from their arms.

“Told you to leave it to us, Jamie-boy,” Rachel said, coming to hug her old friend.

“Everything okay?” Gareth asked, anxious. “My Mom didn’t tell me what was going on, just that you called from Indy.”

“Everything’s fine, something really cool happened and I didn’t want to wait until Monday to tell you about it,” Dottie yawned, locking arms with him and Donny. “Let’s go inside and I’ll tell you.”

The boys walked in behind her towards the living room where she motioned for them to sit. The adults headed towards the kitchen for a nightcap, keeping an eye and an ear on the kids. James had no idea what was going on, but Rachel had simply shaken her head when he lifted his eyebrow in inquiry and pointed at the teens. Mary Elizabeth busied herself making coffee for her two friends and tea for herself, smiling in anticipation.

“Okay, so. We went to this pub to get dinner,” Dottie began, taking the napkin Jessie had given her out of her pocket and giving it to Jeff. “It’s a really cool place, not too big, but I really liked it and the food was great.”

“What did you have?”

“Cheeseburger with bacon. They cut their own fries and leave the skin on them.”

“Sick,” Jeff nodded.

“I was thinking we should all go together soon. Maybe on Friday, June 27th.”

“Why?” said Gareth suspiciously. “What’s happening on Friday, June 27th?”

“There’s this awesome band that’s gonna play there. You might have heard of it, it’s called Corroded Coffin.”

The room was filled with an awkward silence for a few seconds while they processed what they just heard before all of them erupted in questions and screams at the same time. Dottie laughed, and held up her palms trying to contain the situation, but the cat was out of the bag and she was all too happy to share all the details with her friends.

“You got us a gig?” Donny asked, coming up to her in disbelief.

“I got you a gig!” she confirmed, and Gareth began hollering. “You’ve got an hour-long set, divided in two chunks. Drinks are free the whole night but you can’t drunk, and they’re gonna pay you guys $25 each-”

“They are paying us?!” Jeff asked while Gareth shook him. “They never pay us at The Hideout!”

“You’re the fucking best!” Donny declared, lifting Dottie up and swinging her in the air, making her laugh.

“That’s so cool,” James said in the kitchen, browsing his pantry for sugar to add to his coffee. “I’m happy for them, they are good kids.”

Rachel and Mary Elizabeth didn’t reply; they were locked onto the scene in front of them. When Donny put Dottie down, Jeff and Gareth immediately came to hug her too, each on one side. They all began talking at the same time, shouting songs they wanted to include in the set, things they needed to do before the big day arrived, planning how they were gonna go, who was gonna drive, how much money they needed to pool to pay for the gas. None of that was as interesting as what happened when it was Eddie’s turn to hug their niece.

He was so quiet as he came up to her, it almost looked like he was choking back tears. Without words exchanged, his arms wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her towards his chest where she instantly tucked her head into, her own hands ghosting upwards from his waist to the middle of his back where she clung to his shirt. This wasn’t an excited, celebratory hug. This was so much more, and yet none of the boys paid them any attention, like this was common enough for it to not be something to look at anymore. Eddie’s hand came up to cradle her head, and they pulled away for a few seconds, staring into each other’s eyes with matching elated smiles pulling at the corners of their mouths. For a single heartbeat, Dottie’s Aunts thought Eddie was going to pull her into a kiss but his lips collided with her forehead instead and stayed there like it was their rightful place. Dottie exhaled, melting into the rugged boy’s arms, their eyes closed, both of them savoring the moment. His hand moved from the back of her head to the side of her jaw, foreheads coming together and they saw her hand wrap around his wrist before the boy mouthed a quiet “thank you”.

Like nothing had happened, they unentangled themselves from each other and joined the festivities, him excitedly patting Donny’s back before they embraced with boyish roughness, her plopping onto the same armchair Jeff was sitting on to help brainstorm the setlist. Rachel turned to Mary Elizabeth only to find her friend already staring at her.

“Oh,” Mary Elizabeth said, lifting an eyebrow.

“Oh, indeed,” said Rachel, and they both silently agreed to not speak of it in front of James until they’d gotten their chance to debrief later that night.

taglist (comment below or shoot me a dm if you want to be added!): @munsonology @kurdtbean

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csprslvt · 9 months

Text

you and i, and her pt. 8

Chapter seven

Summary: Reader and Abby talk. Feeling very conflicted about what side to take so the burn is still slow, Ellie is falling deeper in love with the idea of who reader is. And reader hates herself for it. Lots of thinking ensues.

Warnings:The D slur, homophobia, angst, self hate, manipulative/lying behavior,unhealthy coping skills,mentions of dissociation,sexual jokes implied,love triangle,betrayal,angsty thoughts,written on an iphone bc my laptop died and I can’t find the charger so probably badly written,Ellie is down so bad someone tell her to stand up‼️‼️‼️

You probably shouldn't have told Abby about Ellie, if you were a better friend you might have kept her secret. But at the same time it was so conflicting. Abby’s sweet words had made you fold immediately.

“So wait, you've been hanging around someone plotting to kill me?”

“Abby I came with her to find you first, to tell you.”

“So what exactly am I supposed to do with that information? Not go home and let everyone back at the WLF base die?”

“I don't know but I don't want you there it's not safe”

Abby scoffed

“I can take her.”

“I don't want you to hurt her either.”

A myriad of emotions crossed Abby's face.

“So you're on her side too? Youre with someone who is trying to kill me?”

“No Abby I'm not.”

“Then why are you protecting her?”

“Are you- are you fucking jealous?”

“Why are you protecting her?”

“Fuck Abby you have no right to accuse me of anything right now, nor have the right to be possessive over me considering you were just having sex with Owen, and would’ve continued doing so had I not showed up.”

“Its the principal of what your doing that is fucking with my head right now y/n.”

“Fucking with your head? You know what actually blows my mind, the fact that you were so willing to jump into bed with someone without even looking for me. The fact that I'm supposed to be the love of your life and you didn't look for me. That is so fucked up. So yea I am fucking protecting her because she is my friend and shes been good to me and Im a goddamn human who doesnt want either of you to be in pain.”

Abby watched you intently, soaking in your words.

“I said I was sorry about Owen.”

“Yes you did, but have I even forgiven you? I have no idea. Both of you frustrate me so fucking much.”

“Owen and I?”

“No, you and Ellie. I love you Abby, I have never loved anyone else but sometimes loving you hurts me. And I'm confused because I initially came out here to jump back into your arms and run away with you but now I don't know If that's what I want considering someone else’s hands were on you and you let it be that way. What happened to us?”

“If we had never separated this wouldn't have happened”

“Well I'm sorry I got kidnapped. That was totally in my control” You seethed.

“y/n I am sorry.I can't tell you how badly I need you back in my life again. Things haven't been the same. I'm not the same, the entire WLF base can see it… come home. I need you”

“I just need some time to figure out what the fuck I want to do”

Abby stood up

“Well I'm not waiting for all my friends to die. I'm going home.”

“Abby please I can't let her kill you.”

“Have more faith in me.”

“It's hard to believe anything when it comes to you anymore”

Abby made a pained expression, that was a little painful to hear but it was fair.

You looked outside, and the light was coming in. Ellie would be awake soon.

“I've gotta go before she sees that I'm gone.”

Standing up you stepped close to Abby, hugging her. Her arms wrapped around you, lifting you off her feet, your face borrowed in her neck.

“Just, don't die okay?” Though now all you did with Abby was argue, she was still someone you cared deeply for.

“I won't ,stay safe y/n '' Abby mumbled into your shoulder.

The love was still so strong. It just felt strained.

That night or rather that morning when you had gotten back to Ellie, you’d snuggled up against her side again. And like second nature she pulled you into her, brushing her lips against your forehead and if she had been a little closer, it would have seemed like a kiss.

This was wrong, it was all so so wrong. But being close to Ellie felt good. It felt uncomplicated, simple, safe.

Ellie, once again woke up first. Her heart slowed to a gentle rhythm when she discovered you fast asleep in her arms.

“Beautiful”

Beautiful, she thought when she looked at you. Memorizing every pathway of your skin, looking softly at you as if she could never look away. It was a different admiration she had ever felt. Not with Riley, not with Cat, not with Dina. You were so you. Each of her past lovers had a thing about them that she was drawn to but you, she couldn't put a finger on it. All she knew is that she craved more. More days waking up with you in her arms, more of your laughs, smiles, more hidden glances she snuck when you were busy brushing shimmer or staring off into the treeline, mindlessly rubbing the gold locket that fell gracefully onto your pretty collarbones.

She wondered what was in that locket of yours, a past lover? A sibling or family member? Perhaps a pet? She highly doubted that possibility. You werent really an animal person unless it was shimmer.

Eventually you stirred awake.

“G’mornin Els” you drawled, a voice as smooth and soft as honey. It was music to her ears. She loved how vulnerable you sounded, fresh in the morning, only visible to her.

“Morning y/n” The look she was giving you was a little too overwhelming to be making eye contact with so you lowered your gaze.

“Sorry I'm all up in your space again. I couldn't-”

“No, I like it”

You blinked.

Ellie once again made it awkward.

“Dude you gotta stop flirting with me”

you spoke trying to break up the tension. (Was it uncomfortable or sexual tension? That you'll never tell)

Ellie’s face changed into that of a tomato.

“ I wasn't!”

You sat up next to her stretching her eyes immediately went to the bare skin that showed as your shirt rode up. She couldn't help it.

Before you could catch her eye though, she looked away, deciding that suddenly the sky was very interesting, looking intently at it.

“Sure, you definitely were!” You giggled.

Finally the pair of you were back on the road.

Once again, you were chest to back, wrapped around her waist and to Ellie, nothing ever felt so right.

She was so happy you followed her on her journey. You were so kind, so selfless for supporting her like this. She hoped that once this was all over she would be happy again. Happy with you. Her best friend. When she and Dina had broken up she never thought she would meet someone as amazing as you but you stumbling into those words was such a little miracle.

Ellie was perfectly content with the feeling of you holding onto her, she savored every touch. Never had she once had a platonic relationship with another girl that felt so deep and powerful. It flooded her heart with warmth. She only hoped that you reciprocated her feelings.

“Y/n?”

“Hm?”

“Thanks”

“For what?”

“For coming all this way for me. You have no idea how much it means to me.”

You paused, guilt crawling into your soul. laying thoughts of self hatred inside of you, like an infection.

Like a parasite.

If only she knew you had came here to betray her.

“Of course Ellie.”

“I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

“Oh god Ellie stop. I’m a horrible person” you’d heard yourself think. But you didn’t say that. She would never allow you to think that. Ellie was a good person.

“Of course Ellie.”

Lying, lying, lying. You were a bad person, cruel, selfish. Saying sweet words to disguise the truth. Maybe you did deserve to be with someone like Abby. Maybe you deserved to be forgotten about.Not looked for, abandoned. Ellie didn’t deserve that. She was a perfect friend. Maybe you should just leave tonight and stay with Abby, like a coward unable to tell Ellie what was actually going on. Why you were really there; to save your ex-girlfriend, whose locket you still wore close to your heart. Were you even broken up? Were you available? Could you entertain Ellie’s obvious advances? No, it’s probably a bad idea. But you already sucked as a person, you might as well just go all the way into complete douche-baggary.

“Ellie when this is all over we need to have a girls night.”

“Girls night?”

“Yea like we eat a bunch of shit food, say horrible things about people we don’t like and do face masks!”

Ellie turned and smiled at you.

“I’d really like that”

The journey went on, and you came across infected, yet to see raiders or hunters. Ellie was stealthy. She taught you how to come up behind them and how to sneak amongst the masses. They never seemed to really really go for her, they were so busy chasing you. That was a little weird, how they acted like she was one of them. Maybe she really was that smooth. But you doubted it. It was Ellie Williams. She wasn’t smooth about anything. Especially not when it mattered. At least not other than murdering infected.

She seemed to enjoy this position she placed herself in, she liked teaching you things, sharing information, seeing you watch her, having your eyes on her. She wanted more of it. Every drop of attention you gave her she ate it up.It probably wasn’t normal to want someone so badly. Especially her best friend but she didn’t care. Not as long as you looked at her.

Call her desperate or depraved or whatever but she couldn’t get enough. If only you knew how deep her admiration ran, maybe you would be scared away but she doubted it. You were just as crazy as she was, after all if you weren’t you wouldn’t have been such good friends. Clicking so fast as if you were always meant to meet.

You, on the other hand, felt more sick than ever. Good thing you were such an experienced liar otherwise Ellie would’ve caught on.

It was a feeling of pure disgust by your own actions. By telling Abby about Ellie you were basically associating with the person Ellie hated the most, and rightfully so. But they were both frustrating. Abby killing Joel as revenge and Ellie killing Abby as a result. It was a big, unhealthy cycle that likely wouldn’t offer Ellie any happiness. After all she couldn’t bring anyone back to life by sacrificing another.She wouldn’t heal from this.

What would you do, when the time comes to choose between them? Abby was really pissing you off but that didn’t mean the love you had would just go away. She has seen every bad part of you and loved you regardless. You were sure Ellie would feel nothing but hate when/if she found out you met up with Abby, nevermind loved Abby.

So you came to the conclusion to utilize a common coping skill in your every day life. You would dissociate, disconnect from the stress and allow yourself to be loved by Ellie. Enjoy the moments with her before she would ultimately leave you. Or until you ultimately left her. The thought left a sick feeling inside of your abdomen. She would never forgive you. So you might as well take advantage of right now before everything went to compete and utter shit.

Notes: feedback is greatly appreciated! Pls lmk if the story should be team Abby or team Ellie. thanks for reading xoxoxo!

#abby anderson #abby x reader #ellie tlou2 #angst #ellie x reader #gaming #eventual smut #fem reader #the last of us 2 #ellie williams

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imtryingmybeskar · 1 year

Text

Come Home Chapter Twelve

Joel Miller x F! Reader

Word count: 5755

Fluff, fluff and more fluff. With a little angst on the side. We finally get a small insight into what has been tormenting reader, along with Ellie behaving very strangely. And of course, it's the morning after the night before...

Spoiler for what Joel does for Ellie for her sixteenth birthday (as shown in TLOU 2). Its my favourite scene of either game and I can't wait to see Pedro and Bella bring it to life!

Come Home

Chapter Twelve - Dull The Pain

Music pounds so hard you can feel the vibrations in your chest. The neon-painted corridor you’re standing in is so tiny that condensation is running down the walls from the bodies packed tight together. There’s a queue. Why is there always a goddamn queue? You’d think by this point they’d design these places with twice as many stalls as urinals. You shuffle, tensing the muscles in your leg to distract from your bladder and then stand on tip toe, trying to see over the heads of the people ahead of you.

People…no, not people. Not anymore. No laughing. No chattering. No hopes or dreams. Just swaying, drunk on the chemicals of infection that the fungus is pushing. You walk among them and they do not attack, their skulls with their fungal-infested sockets merely turn to look at you impassively as you go, as if you're as dead as they are. You have to get out. But there is only one way through, one chance at salvation. The black doorway looms large. The door to the bathroom.

But then...it isn't. It's a different door. One that you keep your back to every second of every day. You try to stop your feet from moving forward but it's as if the fungus really is driving your motor functions and you have no control anymore. The music is gone, relegated to a time long dead, but your heart still jars with its pulse. The walls are blank now, a mysterious slate grey at the edges of the halo of your torchlight. You are alone, no infected to watch your progression and you feel a gaping loss for the poor company they provided.

The focused beam reflects off the metal bars of a medical cart on wheels, the grid reflection cast wide upon the wall behind it. Nothing of value remains inside, just scattered dusty records of patients who were lucky enough to live in a world where people cared enough to write down what ailed them.

Shattered windows with twinkling broken shards of glass teeth line one wall and inside...you can't bring yourself to look. The mural that your light sweeps against tells all. Smiling rabbits and squirrels and raccoons dance eternally as giant, gleeful toadstools oversee everything. The cots lie in haphazard rows under their collective gaze.

But worse, far worse awaits and some desperate part of you thinks that maybe if you don't put your gas mask on this time that the outcome will change. That the place, the portal you can now see at the end of the corridor will open out into sunny pastures and true peace. Your fingers betray you, slipping the constriction into place to protect your body even as your soul is screaming.

And in the black doorway at the end of the corridor, the too-large figure begins to emerge…

“Hey!”

You sit up, panting and sweating and breathing so hard you think you’re going to pass out.

“Hey.” The voice is gentler this time and you realise a big hand is resting on your arm, squeezing it slightly, leading you back to reality. Squinting against the morning light that spills around the blinds you follow the path of the hand, up an arm to see Joel sitting beside you with a look of concern on his face.

“You’re okay. Just a dream.”

“Yeah. Yeah…a dream,” you gasp. He sits in silence with you while your breathing returns to normal, then silently hands you a cup of coffee which you take with a wan smile.

“A man of your word I see, Miller. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” He picks up his own cup from where it rests on your bedside table and warms his hands around it. “Thought I’d let you sleep in. Maybe that was a mistake.”

“Nah, I appreciate it,” you say and you suddenly realise how husky your voice sounds from both the sleep and the aftereffects of the drink. You clear your throat. “It was just a bathroom dream.”

“Just?”

“There may have been infected also queuing for the bathroom.”

“Ah,” he nods sagely. “A classic.”

You huff a laugh and pull down a sip of the bitter, hot, steaming coffee.

“You okay?” The soft concern in his voice startles you and you blink up at him stupidly, head still feeling a little like cotton wool.

“Yeah…yeah I’m fine. There’s just…a recurring dream I also have which was kind of blending in to the bathroom dream. You woke me up before the best part of that for which I’m very grateful.”

He frowns and nods and the simple gestures tell you he knows exactly what you’re talking about.

“Guessin’ you don’t wanna talk about it.”

You shrug and open your mouth to say “Not really,” but what comes out instead is “I didn’t used to be like this.”

“None of us did.”

Your own desire to talk takes you by surprise and you don't know if its because you're still half asleep or because you know Joel will understand but you take a deep breath before plunging ahead.

“No I mean, of course the outbreak changed me. But even after that I didn’t used to be like this. I lost someone. He travelled with me to keep me safe on some stupid fucking goddamn mission I cooked up and…I lost him.” You draw your knees up to your chest and hold your coffee cup on top of your knee cap.

“And the worst part is that its not even what happened to him that gives me these fucking nightmares. I carried on. I went alone to do what I thought I had to do and-“ You break off and shake your head, then look up at Joel with a bitter smile.

“Doesn’t matter,” you say. “This is just the post-alcohol depression talking.” Another swig of scalding coffee helps to stabilise you. Sharing was one thing. Re-living was quite another.

Joel bites his lip as he stares into the black depths of his own coffee.

“I lost someone that way too.” His voice is so quiet you’re not even sure you heard him correctly. “When I first met Ellie. There were three of us at first and…she got bit in the process of protectin’ her.”

His jaw clenches in angry thought and you know that he too can’t forgive himself for his mistakes. For all of it. For any of it. Regardless of if it was his fault, it was his fault. So you don’t try to sympathise, don’t spout any platitudes. Instead you wordlessly slide your hand over his and squeeze it hard. His dark eyes flick to yours and bore into your skull and at that moment you know that you were wrong. He’s not a closed book, not at all. He walks with the weight of what this world has made of him every single moment. He carries it, clutches it to him like something precious because he doesn’t believe he deserves redemption, much less that anyone could redeem him. Something shifts in the air between you. An understanding settles like blossom on river rapids.

“But then there’s Ellie,” you whisper, and the trembling breath he releases tells you all you need to know.

“Then there’s Ellie,” he agrees, and you finish your coffees in comfortable silence, hanging on to one another’s hands for life itself.

After a shower and fresh clothes you feel much better, though your head is a little painful and the sun glaring off the snow outside is much too bright for your liking. Following a smell that makes your stomach rumble, you head downstairs to find Joel cooking.

“Eggs? I didn’t have any eggs.”

“I do. Or did,” he replies. “You look like you need ‘em.”

“Thanks,” you say in a sarcastic tone, though you genuinely are grateful for both the food and the thought. “I’ll have to make you guys dinner soon.”

“You don’t have to,” he corrects you. “This ain’t a transaction.”

“No, but…I want to,” you shrug. “I like having you and Ellie here.”

He gives that coy little smile again as he focuses his efforts on the pan and you feel your chest swell with affection. How can someone so rough around the edges be so…well…so damn cute?

“Take over will ya?” he asks. “I just gotta go to the bathroom.”

He departs and you resume pushing what will be scrambled egg around the pan. When you had first met Joel you would never have thought that you could be alike. He exuded danger and coiled menace, and you had seen that come to the fore when faced with the situation in the store. But every time you had opened up to him, he had reciprocated. Little by little, bit by bit, he was showing you other facets of himself and you found yourself more eager for that than you would necessarily like. He had trauma, everyone did. But his and yours seemed to stem from a similar place, at least in part. He understood the need to push away those things that you simply couldn’t deal with and he made no judgements. He understood that in order to survive you sometimes had to cut pieces away from the person that you had been and solder those wounds shut. He was so kind – to you and Ellie at least - but you didn’t doubt for a moment that he had been truthful when he said he was very different ten years ago. You wonder just what he and Ellie had gone through to bring about such a change.

A knock at the door jolts you from your reverie and you turn the eggs off and move the pan before going to answer it.

“Hey,” Ellie says, a nervous energy permeating her as she absent mindedly rubs her right arm. “Have you seen Joel? I don’t think he came home last night.”

“Oh, yeah,” you say, stepping back and gesturing for her to come in. “He’s-“

“Have you put a bookcase up against that door?” Joel’s voice rings out as the stomp of his boots comes down the stairs. “I mean that’s one way to deal with it I guess-oh! Hey, Ellie.”

Ellie’s eyes are wider than you’ve ever seen them, darting between you and Joel and a sly smirk begins to creep over her face.

“Before you say anything, no,” you say firmly.

“No what?” she asks innocently.

“You know what. No.”

“Hey, it’s none of my business what fogeys get up to when they’re alone!”

“Jesus Christ, Ellie,” Joel huffs as he joins you at the foot of the stairs, and you have your own moment of sneaking amusement at the fact that he looks quite flustered as he shakes his head in disapproval at her.

“Yes Joel, I put a bookcase against that door. Out of sight, out of mind, right?” you say, not taking your eyes off Ellie. “As for what we got up to-“

“Oh fuck! I don’t wanna know!” Ellie exclaims, suddenly horrified.

“-it involved very clothed sleeping. No touching, no kissing, no se-“

Ellie stuffs her fingers into her ears and walks off humming loudly before exclaiming “Can I have some of these eggs?!” as soon as she walks into the kitchen.

Joel and you exchange an amused glance and you notice a creeping redness up his neck before he goes off to portion what he has made on to plates.

What you had told her wasn’t strictly true. You had awoken sometime in the night to find yourself pressed in tight against Joel’s back, your arm thrown loosely around his hip and your cheek against the soft plaid of his shirt. He smelled even better this close – warm sleep musk mixed with an indefinable scent of comfort that was purely him and you had gently removed your arm and turned over before you got too enamoured of it.

He had other ideas, giving a deep, sleepy groan that shot straight to your core and then flipping over so he was on his side with his chest now pressed against your back and his arm thrown around your waist, his movements clumsy in his semi-conscious state. You had held yourself stiffly and hardly dared to breathe, wondering if it was intentional, if he wanted more. The gentle snores that came almost immediately told you no, and you relaxed back into his embrace, smiling drowsily as you fell back to sleep yourself. The next time you had awoken it had been to his hand on your arm and the relief that you wouldn’t have to relive yet another nightmare. You have no idea if he knew what had occurred, and you weren’t about to bring it up.

The morning passes in a haze of pleasant domesticity. While Joel goes back to his house to shower and change, you take Ellie into town to do some shopping and pick up eggs for both you and Joel, as well as some fruit, vegetables, rice and chicken. Next stop is the armoury. The bows and arrows that you had retrieved from the town had made you realise that it had been a while since you had practiced with that particular weapon, and you wanted to make sure your skills were up to par for the next planned sweep by a scouting party. Ellie sets up the targets in the yard outside, and you spend an hour being completely outmatched by her abilities, though you do get better under her tutelage as time goes on.

As you make your way back towards your respective houses, you get the impression she wants to talk to you. She’s dragging her feet a little through the stony slush on the ground, pensively looking down at them. You allow her time, and eventually your patience wins.

“So…you and Joel huh?” she says. Her voice is more timid than you’ve heard in a while, as though she’s scared of your answer.

“No," you laugh. "I meant what I said. Nothing happened between us. You know sometimes I’ve had…difficulties adjusting to life here. He helped me through one of them last night. Not like that,” you hasten to add, feeling heat rising in your face. “He just…he was kind to me.”

She nods, her face a little less anxious and a little more Ellie, a small smile creeping over her lips. “But at the dance…you guys were kinda close.”

“I was pretty drunk,” you admit. “He looked after me, made sure I didn’t make too much of an ass of myself and then helped me home. That’s all.”

“Do you like him?”

The direct nature of the question catches you off guard and you splutter a little in your reply. “Like him? I’m too old for that high school shit, Ellie.”

“I’m not hearing a ‘no’,” she shoots back in an irritating sing-song voice.

You sigh and try to collect your thoughts. “Of course I like him. He’s a good man. And he’s already helped me through a lot. So have you, come to that.”

“You know what I mean,” she presses.

“Ellie, I can’t think about shit like that,” you say, bluntly. “Much as I’d like to, it’s just not possible. I let myself get close to people and then they die. Chris…Jacob…A-Alex-“ The litany stops and so do you, squeezing your eyes tight against the memories that threaten to invade. You take a deep breath and open your eyes to look at the girl ahead of you. “It’s too hard.”

“And what if they don’t? Die I mean.”

You frown and try to make your next words as gentle as possible. “But everyone does. It’s just a matter of when.” Before she can formulate a reply, you carry on, trying to bring a levity back to the conversation as you continue walking. “I’m not taking your old man away from you, don’t worry.”

“Not what I’m worried about.” The reply is waspish and it takes you by surprise.

“Well then, what’s this all about?”

“Never mind. Just forget it.”

“Hey.” You stop again and gently touch her shoulder. “If there’s something bothering you and you don’t want to go to Joel you can talk to me. You know that.”

“Sure,” she says, nodding, but there is nothing else forthcoming and you walk the remainder of the journey in silence, wondering if you’ve somehow managed to already fuck up your friendship with her.

The afternoon is spent beginning to tackle the garage that came with the house. There’s not too much in there for which you’re grateful – some standard junk that you sort by usefulness. A pile for you, a pile to donate to the supplies in Jackson and stuff that you think should probably be thrown away. Then you clear the cobwebs and dust and sweep up as much as you can. The light is beginning to fade as you stand tall and stretch out your back. Maybe tonight you should use your bath as intended, though you’re not sure of the wisdom of using that much hot water in one go. Deciding to shower instead you open up the garage door to leave, but before you can you hear a flurry of raised voices from next door.

“Jesus, Joel. Can’t you just fucking leave it alone?”

“No, I can’t. Not when you’re bein’ pissy with me for no goddamn reason!”

You don’t want to hear this. You don’t want to intrude on anything so personal and you definitely don’t want to think about the possibility that you’re the reason for Ellie’s bad mood that she’s now taking out on Joel. As you exit the garage as quickly and quietly as you can you hear Joel’s voice again.

“Ellie? Where are you goin’? Ellie!” Then the distinct sound of Joel’s side gate slamming hard and his quiet curse of “Goddamnit!”

You creep up your back steps and your hand is on the door handle and about to turn it when –

“Uh. Hey.”

You close your eyes against the thought of the conversation that will follow, but turn and speak to Joel who is standing in his yard looking both angry and a little ashamed.

“Hey.”

“So…guessin’ you heard all that.”

“I wasn’t trying to, I swear,” you protest. “I was just finishing clearing out some of my garage and-"

He’s shaking his head. “Naw. S’ok. We musta been pretty loud. Not used to havin’ neighbours still I guess.” He rubs his hand on the back of his neck in an embarrassed sort of way.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine. I just…I don’t get that kid sometimes.”

You lean against the wooden railings of your porch and take hold of the top of it, feeling the paint crumble a little under your hands.

“But you do remember what it was like to be fifteen?”

He scoffs and folds his arms. “I guess.”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine. She just needs some time to work out whatever’s bothering her.” Joel nods, but his jaw is still set angrily and his eyes are faraway as he stares toward the place that she stormed away.

“I uh…” You grip the railing more firmly, anxiety swirling in your stomach at your imminent confession. “I think it might be my fault.”

Joel looks taken aback. “What, you guys have a fight or somethin’?”

“No…yes? I don’t know really.”

“Look, why don’t you come over? I don’t really wanna discuss this outside in the dark when I’m not wearin’ a coat.”

“Understandable. I’ll be right there.”

You remember to grab the eggs you had got for him before crossing to his side of the fence and knocking on his front door.

“Come on in,” he calls from inside.

You weren’t entirely sure what you had been expecting in Joel’s house, but the first impression that hits you is that this is a home. The hallway lies in front of you and opens up to his living room, along one entire wall of which is a huge, beautiful bookshelf, packed with ornaments, framed pictures, video cassettes, DVDs, books and magazines. His furniture actually matches – a brushed suede settee in beige with a reclining chair off to one side and a window seat also upholstered in the same, all with plump, welcoming cushions on them. He was correct in saying that it is more modern than your house, but not by much. It does, however, exude a charming middle class quality that is distinctly lacking in yours.

You don’t get a chance to be nosier than that before he’s calling you, and you follow the sound of his voice into the delicious warmth of his kitchen, which is fitted in shades of warm white wood, a large central unit in the middle of it all against which he is leaning, his back toward it and arms outstretched behind.

“Drink?” he offers.

“Tea?” you ask hopefully, and he nods and begins to prepare it.

“So what happened?”

What did happen? You don’t really have a good answer for him, so you start from the beginning.

“We did some shopping – here’s your eggs by the way – and then we practiced some archery. Well, I practiced, she told me where I was going wrong. And then on the way home she seemed to have something on her mind and when I tried to talk to her about it she just shut down.”

“Any idea what it was about?” his voice is full of concern and you realise you can’t keep the details from him, no matter how much it might embarrass you.

“Well she…she asked about us.” He raises a questioning eyebrow at you and you plunge ahead. “ ‘You and Joel huh?’ were her exact words. I told her again that nothing like that had happened last night. And then she asked-well she asked if I liked you. I said of course I did, you’ve been nothing but kind and generous to me. Both of you. But she meant…well, you know. And when I said that I can’t think of that kind of stuff because…well because of the past, she just shut down.”

“Hmm,” Joel says, his back to you as he grabs two cups and places them on the counter. “Anythin’ else?”

“I told her...I told her everyone dies,” you blurt out. “And that’s why I can’t get close to anyone. I thought…I thought that being who she is and living the life she has that she would understand that. But maybe…she’s so young. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so blunt about it. And I said-“ You take a deep breath before continuing. “I said that I wasn’t going to be taking you away from her and she said she wasn’t worried about that and that’s when she stopped talking completely. I’m sorry if I overstepped. Or if I was insensitive.”

He continues to make the tea in silence, his back to you and your anxiety moves even harder through your veins.

“Joel? Did I…did I fuck up?”

He sighs before turning to you and handing you a steaming cup that smells wonderfully of apple and winter spices.

“No, I don’t think you did. Comin’ to Jackson has been an adjustment. Well, you know yourself…Sometimes she confuses the hell outta me and I just wonder if I’m too old to be raisin’ a teenager. Especially now. What the fuck do I know about what she’s goin’ through?”

“Well,” you say slowly, picking your words carefully so as not to betray any of Ellie’s confidences. “I never raised a teenager. Or any kids for that matter.” You stop, take a breath, get a firm grip on yourself. “But you know some of what she’s been through because you lived it too. Its hard…now you’re safe. The stuff you couldn’t allow yourself to feel, it starts to come through anyway no matter how much you might not want it to. And so much stuff is so much more important at her age. Being liked by her peers. Finding out who she is. That’s all still there but we got to do it in high school. I’m not saying high school was great, but there were things you took for granted y’know. There were lots of people to bounce off and figure shit out. She has to find her own way. I guess…all you can do is always be there for her.”

Joel nods slowly, seeming to absorb your words. “I will,” is all he says firmly before taking a sip of tea.

You relocate to the living room, where you carefully put your steaming cup on a coaster on the table while Joel lights the gas fire that sits under an ornamental mantelpiece.

“Ooooh fancy,” you tease.

“I actually prefer yours,” he says, collapsing onto the soft cushions with a slight groan on the other side of the couch from you. “Nothin, like an open fire.”

“Your house is beautiful,” you say, looking around and taking it in again. “Guess this is what you get when your sister-in-law runs the joint.”

He grins softly. “Ellie chose it.” His face suddenly clouds. “You think I should go after her? I’m kinda worried. She has a history of…runnin’ off.”

“If you want to,” you reply gently. “And I’ll help if you want that too. But if you find her before she wants to be found, would it make things worse? I mean…you don’t think she’s gone out out, do you?”

Both of you look outside simultaneously, your eyes drawn to the darkness beyond the windows by the horrific notion.

“I’m goin’ to the stables,” Joel says as he puts his own tea on the table and stands, the firmness of his voice still not enough to quell the faint note of panic you can hear underneath.

“I’ll go look around town,” you say, standing too and grabbing your coat from where it lay on the back of the couch.

Before either of you get any further, you hear a scuffling on the porch and then the sound of the door opening. Joel moves quickly into the hall and his relieved sigh of “Ellie,” is enough to make your stomach untwist itself. Faint murmuring reaches your ears and you debate sneaking out of the back door to give them the time they need together. You don’t get a chance to make a move before Ellie is coming around the corner, looking at the floor slightly shamefaced and twisting her fingers together.

“Hey,” you greet her. “I was just gonna go. Sorry to interrupt-“

“No, no,” she says, “Its…its cool. Stay.” Joel nods his agreement behind her and you take your coat off again. A slightly awkward silence falls between the three of you before Ellie ventures, “So…you guys wanna play cards?”

The peace offering is taken up and the evening ends up as so many of them have recently, with stupid jokes and playful teasing and smiles all around. After Ellie beats you and Joel for the third time in a row, the crowing becomes almost unbearable and to make it stop you offer her something you know she won’t be able to refuse.

“Hey, Ellie?”

She gives a tiny delicate cough. “I think you know that’s not my name right now,” she says somehow managing to sound both prim and full of glee.

“Fine! Supreme Queen of Go Fish and Jackson in general-“

“Yes, peasant loser? What can your Queen do for you?”

“You want your Christmas present a little early?”

All pretence drops from her as she sits forward eagerly. “You got me a present?”

“Sure did. And Joel said he’d be more than willing to help you use them.”

Ellie says “Them?” as Joel says “What now?” and you laugh as you rush out of the house to collect the skates. You place them into one of the many boxes that you had emptied out of the garage this afternoon and inwardly curse your impulsivity and bemoan the fact that you hadn’t made it look nicer for her before heading back to Joel’s.

“Thank you,” she breathes as you hand her the box, her eyes bright with excitement. When she opens them, her face falls just for a second. “Oh! Thank you. But I-uh-I don’t know how to skate.”

“Well I thought I could teach you,” you smile. “Or Joel can. He’s not half bad when he’s not falling on his ass.”

Joel covers his eyes with his hand as Ellie giggles. “I ask you to keep one goddamn secret,” he jokes.

“Yeah, I’d like to learn,” Ellie says happily. “Is this where you went earlier in the week when you were “scouting”?”

“I got these from when we actually did go on patrol through that town. But earlier in the week we were scouting, just not for supplies. There’s a good lake not far from here. It’s safe, the ice is thick enough. Tested and approved by Joel’s ass and my knees.”

“One time! I fell one time!” Joel protests. “Pretty good considerin’ I haven’t skated in almost thirty years!”

“This is so cool! Thanks,” Ellie smiles happily. She stands, clutching the box to her chest. “Well, I’m gonna leave as the undefeated Queen and turn in.”

“Chicken,” teases Joel.

“I am making a tactical retreat,” she replies haughtily. “G'night, fogies!”

Joel grins fondly after her as she departs. “Night, Ellie.”

You wait until you hear the door close softly behind her before asking what you want to.

“She okay?”

“She’s fine,” Joel reassures you. “Just needed some time. And while we’re still on the subject of gift givin’ I have a favour to ask you.”

“Sure, what do you need?”

“It’s Ellie’s sixteenth in April. Now I got an idea of what I wanna do for her, but I’m gonna need your help. I’m plannin’ to take her to a museum. Its a few days ride out."

“What museum?”

The Wyoming Museum of Science and History. She loves space, thought I’d take her to see the exhibits if there are any left. But it won’t be much of a birthday if we’re fightin’ off infected every step of the way. I need your help to check it out, clear a path to it. You up for it?”

“Damn straight,” you say with a smile. “I love a museum. And no one can tell me not to touch anything now!”

Joel relaxes back into the couch, a relieved smile on his face. “Thanks. I was gonna ask Tommy originally, but he’s got so much shit to do with the dam that I woulda felt bad takin’ him away from it.”

“Not a problem. Might be fun. Apart from the possible infected. When do we go?”

“Not for a while. Not till the weather gets a little better. We’d need to go partway anyway, sweep those areas once the snow clears and make sure it’s all okay.”

“Sounds like a plan.” You drain the remnants of your tea and then stand. “I better get going too. Otherwise she’s gonna think there really is something going on between us.”

“Before you do, just…hold on a sec, okay?”

Joel springs up from the couch and retrieves a small parcel wrapped in brown paper from one of the shelves on the bookcase. He hands it to you with a smile.

“Since you’ve decided we’re doin’ Christmas presents early.”

Your mouth falls open in shock. “Oh shit, Joel no. I didn’t get you anything. I mean, you’re more than welcome to pick through the stuff I found in the garage, but unless you REALLY like old copies of classic car magazines you might be shit outta luck.”

“Its okay. Honestly, sharin’ your coffee has been more than enough. Well go on. Open it.”

A rush of warmth and excitement trills through you. The presents you and Chris had managed to exchange each year had been tokens at best. This felt like...well it felt like-

You gasp as you unwrap the book to find a beautifully embossed book of John Keats poetry in your hands. Your eyes rove over the cover, not quite comprehending that you actually had a copy in your hands and more, that Joel had given you something so precious and meaningful.

“Ellie said he was your favourite.” His gravelly voice breaks into your shock and you manage to nod at him, your eyes suddenly watery.

“Thank you. So much. This is…this is incredible.” You skim through the pages, to find them barely touched by the ravages of time. Even the cover is only mildly battered. “Where did you even get this?”

“I might’ve been on a sweep with Tommy and we may have come across a bookstore. I got me some more Game of Thrones books too, don’t you worry.”

You laugh, but it sounds like half a sob and half a hiccup when you do.

“Thank you,” you whisper again, managing to tear your eyes away from the book to look at him instead.

“You’re welcome,” he says softly.

He walks you down the hall to the door and when he opens it, instead of stepping through immediately you move forward to hug him, your arms barely able to circle the breadth of his shoulders. You feel him tense at the contact, but before you can pull away and apologise you feel his arms come tentatively around your back, holding you a little closer. His beard is prickly against your upper cheek, his muscles hard under your hands, his scent once again filling your nose and before you allow yourself to get dragged too deeply into that undertow you pull back.

“Goodnight, Joel.”

“Goodnight,” he smiles softly, dimple winking in his cheek.

The short walk back to your house feels like you’re walking on air. The thoughtfulness and beauty of the gift is unparalleled, the emotions spiralling uncontrollably from you are all blissfully good. Tonight, the tub is just that and you barely even contemplate getting in before heading toward the soft welcome of your bed. You lie there for a moment, thinking about the warmth of Joel's hands on your back and the soft light in his eyes when he saw your joy at his gift. You turn over to hug the pillow that his head had laid on, wrapped in his comforting scent and smiling into the darkness.

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p3ski · 6 months

Text

Pairing: RK900/Gavin Reed

Tags: Post Pacifist Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Masterlist

Read on AO3 here:

Summary: A lot has changed since the revolution. Crimes against androids are now punished in the same way as crimes against humans. A reluctant Gavin Reed and his new partner RK900 have been assigned to investigate a string of disturbing murders. Despite the shift in Detroit's social climate, Gavin still holds reservations about whether or not androids are truly alive. Will his developing feelings for 'Nines' be the thing to change this?

Warnings: Graphic Violence, Depression/Self Destructive Behaviour, Eventual Smut

Word Count: 2.9K

Gavin was bent over the canteen table, squeezing his half-empty coffee cup and groaning deeply. He had held himself up to an extent, but with all the fight leaving his body, his head flopped forward and hit the wood with an audible smack. Tina seldom reacted, sipping her own coffee as she watched on, amused.

"I'm going insane. I don't know how much more I can take of this".

"Gavin, it's been less than a week".

"I know that", Gavin tried to say back, but with his face pressed against the polished wood, the words were barely audible. Tina said nothing else as if waiting for her friend to pull himself out of his self-imposed slump. Reluctantly, Gavin sat back up, ignoring Tina's giggles as she stared at his aching forehead.

"It's been the longest week of my goddamn life", he mumbled, rubbing the sore patch with the palm of his hand. He couldn't see, but he was confident he'd left a mark. "You don't get it. The thing is unbearable".

"That's what I thought when I first met you", Tina gently teased, batting her eyelashes. "Seriously though. I think you should give him a chance".

"Why should I?" Gavin lifted his cup to his lips, draining what was left of his coffee and rubbing his mouth on the back of his sleeve. "It's not like it's given me a chance. Five minutes in, and it's already telling me what a waste of space I am".

Tina paused, swirling the liquid in her cup and staring at it thoughtfully. Her lips were pulled into a sympathetic frown. "Gav, I know it sucks, but that's just how RK900 is. He says exactly what he's thinking, much like yourself, and sometimes that can hurt – but he's never going to change his mind if you keep giving him reasons to hate you".

Tina glanced back up at Gavin, brow furrowed in determination. Gavin sighed, recognising the look almost immediately. He knew full well that he was about to be subjected to an interrogation and simply prepared for it:

"How many times have you tried to hit him? Think fast".

"Just the once" So far , Gavin silently added.

"And how many times have you insulted him for being an android?" Tina pressed on, "Robocop? Plastic prick? Any of those ringing a bell?".

"Oh, come on, Robocop is great!" Gavin vehemently defended, throwing up his hands. "It is the perfect evolution of 'android detective'".

Tina sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I just can't with you sometimes. Right, last one – and this is important – have you pointed your gun at him?".

Gavin bristled at this, thinking back to the 'fight' he'd had with Nines and imagining the sort of torture that the android would have subjected him to if he had actually attempted to use his gun.

"No. Hell no," Gavin insisted, shaking his head aggressively. "This isn't Connor we're talking about. The thing would flatten me".

Tina hummed, motioning for Gavin to hand her his empty cup. She stacked it into her own before crumpling them together and throwing them into a nearby trash can. "Sounds to me that all hope is not lost. You just need to try being nice".

Gavin grumbled in response, "Tell me. What am I supposed to do that it would consider 'being nice'? I don't know if you've noticed, but it doesn't like anything. Except licking up blood and skulking around alleyways like it's my goddamn sleep paralysis demon".

"Oh, come on, you're being ridiculous", Tina insisted, rolling her eyes. "I'm sure he likes lots of things. Why don't you take him out to lunch and try to get to know him better? You might have more in common than you think".

"I'm sure that'll go down like a lead balloon. Where am I supposed to take him? Sal's Premier Gas and Auto Repair ?".

"Take him wherever you like, Gav. It doesn't really matter. It's more about the gesture than anything".

Gavin felt his interest in the conversation fast waning. It was no longer serving the escape he had hoped for. He looked at his watch, sighing at the time, before pushing his chair back harshly, causing the legs to screech along the linoleum floor.

There was a moment of contemplation as he considered what Tina had said. There was no way that his relationship with Nines could possibly get any worse. Perhaps it may be worth humouring his friend's suggestion, even out of morbid curiosity. This did not, however, prevent the doubts from continuously slipping into his mind.

Gavin took a long breath, closing his eyes. "There's no way in Hell this is going to work", he protested. "It fucking despises me. Why would it ever agree to spend a second longer in my company than it needs to?".

"Look, I'm not saying you have to be besties" Tina had also stood up, albeit much less aggressively than her counterpart, "but not completely hating each other would be a start. You never know. He might like your tamer side. You do have some endearing qualities, Gav, buried deep, deep down in your soul. It's time to let them shine".

Gavin's eyes shot back open as he gaped at his friend with a mixture of offence and disbelief. He turned on his heel, making his way to the canteen exit "Wow. Thanks a lot, Ti. I don't know what I'd ever do without your glowing words of encouragement".

Tina poked out her tongue as Gavin shot her a final piercing look. With his hand hovering over the buttons of the wall-mounted panel, he had not had a chance to press anything when the security doors suddenly glided open.

Gavin was greeted with the towering frame of his android partner, glowering down with clear disapproval on its stony face. They were stood uncomfortably close, to the extent that – if Nines could breathe – Gavin was confident he would be able to feel the warm puffs drawing down his neck.

"You said you were going to the bathroom, although I anticipated I may find you here", Nines looked over Gavin's shoulder as if refusing to acknowledge him directly. Gavin could see Tina tensing up out of the corner of his eye, and he instinctively stepped back to meet her position.

"Good Afternoon, Officer Chen. I must request that I have my partner back now. He is supposed to be working".

"How long were you standing there?" Gavin intended his words to sound forceful, but they had trickled from his lips as a laboured rasp. Apparently, he had been holding his breath and had failed to notice until that moment. "Were you eavesdropping on us? Creepy motherfucker”.

Nine's expression did not shift, although its LED flickered slightly, showing that it had acknowledged Gavin's question. Whatever the answer was, it refused to provide one, holding its focus on Tina as if he didn't exist.

"Honestly, it's totally fine", Tina insisted, a little too enthusiastically under the pressure of Nines' intense stare. "I think Gav is just tired. Really needs a break , you know?".

Gavin looked sidelong at his friend. He could see the scheming wheels turning behind her flawlessly plastered smile. He opened his mouth to say something but was swiftly met with an elbow to the ribs. She looked at him expectantly as if to signal this was his cue.

Gavin froze in disbelief over what he was about to do. If Tina was wrong about this, he would never let her forget it.

Even if she was right, Gavin would be reluctant to forgive her. When the best case scenario meant one-on-one quality time with 'Detroit's Most Pompous Android', there was no way he could actually win.

"Yeah... Tina's right, actually," Gavin said, trying his best to sound genuine. "I'm just really worn out from reviewing all these case files. Need to get out and stretch my legs. What do you say we head to lunch?".

Nines flinched, albeit subtly, with its eyes widening in surprise. It's LED shifted to yellow and appeared to get stuck, blinking and cycling endlessly without any sign of progression "I'm sorry, Detective Reed, but I believe I have misunderstood. By 'we', I assume you are referring to yourself and Officer Chen, correct?".

Gavin's mouth pulled into a painful half-grimace as he desperately fought back the urge to scream in the android's face. Taking a moment to relax, he was somehow able to contort the expression into something more pleasant "Actually, I meant you and me".

The android blinked wordlessly. Once, and then twice. With its head tilted to one side, it appeared utterly stumped. Gavin wondered if he might have broken it. Overloaded its sensors or triggered a soft reset.

"I understand that android physiology may not be your area of expertise, but surely you know I do not need to eat?".

Gavin shot Tina an accusatory look, to which she seemed entirely unfazed, mouthing the words " Go on" back at him.

"Yeah, well, I do", Gavin paused, feeling utterly foolish. "So I thought it might be nice if you joined me...dipshit".

Tina's shoulders slumped as she looked back at Gavin despairingly. He met the look with a mouthed " What?" and a subtle shrug of his shoulders.

It was apparent that their silent pantomime had not escaped Nines' attention. Its eyes darted between Tina and Gavin before narrowing on the former suspiciously. Tina locked into place again as if anticipating the fact that she was about to be called out:

"This invitation is unexpected, to say the least, Detective. Almost as if it may be have been encouraged by some outsider influence".

"Wooow, would you look at the time" Tina abruptly announced, pulling her phone out of her pocket and staring at the screen. "I better be going; I'll leave you guys to it" As she pulled away, she leant towards Gavin one final time, speaking lowly into his ear:

"Good luck".

"Judas", Gavin hissed back, watching with ire as Tina carefully side-stepped around Nines, pressed the exit button on the canteen door and speedily retreated.

Gavin and Nines stood in silence. There was a mounting air of discomfort as the android folded its arms, seemingly anticipating Gavin's next move. In all honestly, he wasn't sure of the next move himself. With his backup now gone, all he had to work with was the questionable advice she had left behind. As much as he loved Tina, she seemed to land him in just as many uncomfortable situations as she ever helped him escape from.

"So", Gavin whistled awkwardly before clearing his throat ", Are you in or out?".

Apparently, this was not the move Nines had expected, with a look of surprise returning to its face. "I beg your pardon?".

"Lunch", Gavin clarified. Reluctantly "Are you coming with me?.

Then there was silence again – and damn if it wasn't getting painful. Gavin willed Satan's minions to rise up and drag him to Hell already. It would be a long time coming, and at least then, he wouldn't have to deal with any more plastic detectives.

"I suppose it needn't be a complete waste of time", Nines rationalised, the LED that had seemed to stall on yellow finally returning to blue "It may give us a valuable opportunity to review what we know about the case. Away from the distractions of the station".

Of course, it would make it about work. Of-fucking-course.

“Yeah. Sure. Whatever".

Gavin led Nines out of the station, allowing it to trail behind him like a guard dog. The android seemed a little perplexed as they cleared the station parking lot, heading for the nearest traffic lights.

"Are we not taking a car?".

"Nah, this place isn't far. We can walk," Gavin insisted, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for the crossing lights to change. "Besides, I did say that I wanted to stretch my legs, or were you not paying attention to me?".

"I find that much of what you say lacks substance, although I pay attention when I feel it is warranted".

Gavin tsked quietly, shaking his head in disbelief. He almost wanted to laugh but decided against it, feeling more frustrated than he did amused. "You are really goddamn rude, you know that?".

"I do not believe that I am", Nines said back, seemingly without missing a beat. "It is not targeted at you specifically, Detective. Humans have quite a knack for dancing around the issue. Even those who claim to be direct often fail to say what they mean...I find it incredibly frustrating".

"Yeah, well, humans are tricky like that", Gavin mused out loud, willing the lights to change faster. The sidewalk was beginning to build up, and he couldn't help but notice a few people staring at Nines. One little girl seemed particularly intrigued, tucking on her mother's pant leg and pointing upwards.

"Mommy, why does that man look so angry?".

Nine's gaze shot downwards, meeting the source of the tiny voice below him. Unblinking, it answered the little girl's question – its voice loud and imposing "I was a model created to assist in police investigations. My appearance was designed to intimidate criminals and to encourage swift cooperation".

The little girl retreated immediately, eyes bulging wide in surprise. The mother was evidently unimpressed, holding her daughter back as she shot Nines a spiteful look. "Do you mind not speaking to my daughter like that? She's a kid; she doesn't understand what you are saying".

Nines seemed a little put out, face crinkled in confusion. Ultimately, he nodded quietly before turning his attention back to the crosswalk.

THE LIGHT IS GREEN.

"Fucking finally..." Gavin muttered to himself, stepping from the sidewalk like it was on fire. As Nines and Gavin cleared the crossing with the rest of the pedestrians, the latter could hear a flurry of whispers from those passing by them:

" Do you think it's a deviant?"

"Hell no – What deviants do you know that speak like that?"

"I haven't seen an unconverted model in months"

"It could be unstable...oh damn, I think it's looking this way. Keep walking, don't look back".

For a city that was supposed to be the cornerstone for new android acceptance and tolerance, it didn't escape Gavin's notice that many people still seemed to treat the machines with considerable trepidation.

He understood.

The revolution terrified millions, and many were yet to overcome that fear. Even those who wanted to believe that the androids could be fully integrated would always live with a sense of lingering uncertainty.

"Detective, you appear to be leading us blindly through the streets", Nines deadpanned. "Did you have a destination in mind for your lunch, or were you simply trying to get out of work?".

Indeed, uncertainty seemed the optimal word to describe how Gavin perceived his partner. He couldn't place exactly what Nines was. Where it fell on the spectrum of 'fully converted deviant' and 'semi-liberated machine'.

It would show glimpses of sentiment from time to time, such as how it appeared almost guilty at having scared the little girl. Other times, it seemed unyieldingly cold. So preoccupied with its primary directive that it had little time for anything else.

Despite his uncertainty, Gavin couldn't help but analyse the situation with deeper scrutiny. It was second nature for a detective, after all. Labouring on his thoughts through several sleepless nights - he had begun to devise a theory. One which he was about to put to the test.

"You never broke away from your code, did you?" Gavin watched Nines closely for its reaction. Failing to receive much of anything, he decided to press on before his more rational mind could stop him. "Not completely, anyway. It's like you half-deviated but couldn't make it the whole way. No matter how much you think and feel for yourself, you still do it like a damn robot".

There was a flicker of instability in Nines' eyes, like the pigment was suddenly shifting and changing. It seemed conflicted on how to respond – to the extent that it grounded to a halt in the middle of a busy walkway. It appeared deaf to the grunts and grumbles of pedestrians as they tried to bypass their way around the idling android. Gavin wondered if he might have sincerely fucked up as Nine's stared him down with a look of quiet malevolence.

"Detective Reed", Its voice was low and dark, laced with some foreign emotion. It did not escape Gavin's attention that its LED had shot straight to red and was stuttering violently. As if threatening to blink. "Let me make something clear:

Unlike my contemporaries, I do not delude myself with pretenses that I will ever 'become human'. I am a machine who is free to live for itself, but a machine nonetheless. I refuse to adjust my behaviour in order for it to be perceived as more 'agreeable'".

Gavin gulped down a nervous breath, looking back at Nines with trepidation. "Well damn, sorry if I struck a nerve there. Touchy subject for you?".

"You could say that - I would kindly ask if we could avoid broaching this subject again".

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