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kyojurismo · 8 months

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“what’s the matter?” katsuki turned your way and noticed you were staring at the ceiling, even though you were just turning around under the covers a minute ago. “nothing,” you murmured, not looking at him. “bullshit. you can’t sleep. c’mon, tell me what’s wrong,” he sighed and looked at you, waiting patiently. “i…” you tried to speak but couldn’t find the right words. “hm?” he encouraged you. “i don’t know,” you whispered and felt your eyes fill with tears at that, a lump forming in your throat as your chest tightened. katsuki gulped down and searched for your hand, squeezing it as to ground you. “it’s okay. i’m here,” he spoke in a gentle tone, watching how you silently cried next to him. “my thoughts… there are too many, i feel like i can’t breathe… i’m always so upset, i’m so sorry!” you covered your face with your hands, hiccups shaking your body. “i’m so ugly… i’m a very bad person too!” katsuki waited for you to spit it all out, knowing that it would help later. you were vomiting all the vicious thoughts that were filling and torturing your brain. “hey,” he called for you once you were done, making you turn to him slowly. “i know it’s hard, but i’m here with you… you’re not alone in this,” he kissed your forehead, his thumbs wiping away the tears on your warm cheeks. “you’re not a bad person, you’re just going through a bad time but trust me, it will pass and you’re gonna feel better. and, you’re not ugly, don’t even think about it. you’re beautiful because you are you.” he cupped your face and kissed your nose and chin sweetly. “i know you feel like you’re stuck right now, that there’s… this huge wall — or whatever, but guess what?” you finally met his eyes, his words caught your whole attention. “i’m here to help you get on the other side,” he smiled at you. “although, you’re strong enough to do it yourself. i just believe you need a little help, and i’m here for it. i’m a hero, after all huh?” he smirked and you chuckled at his words, nodding slowly. katsuki kissed your forehead and held you close to his warm chest, caressing your back slowly. “thank you, ‘tsuki…” you whispered then, relaxing into his arms while his heartbeat lulled you into sleep.

#📂 — writing !!#cw depressive thoughts #i tried my very best to keep it vague #& gender neutral #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo x you #katsuki bakugo x y/n #katsuki bakugo drabble #katsuki bakugo blurb #katsuki bakugo imagine #mha katsuki bakugo #mha x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

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pennycutenice · 4 months

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they should make a me that‘s happy

#transgender #transgirl #queer #demigirl #transfem #trans woman #autism #cw depressive thoughts #cw depression

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name-s-are-not-important · 6 months

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sad alert

Halt was still a kid when he thought he's going to die for the first time. Then the second, the third. Before he even knew, he became sure that he will die young. Next year maybe, maybe next week.

Pritchard died before him, which was odd. Meeting him, Halt assumed that Pritchard will survive so much more than he ever could. But he died and Halt kept surviving again and again.

Then there was the war and so many people died. Halt didn’t. He watched them die and he still survived.

He turned thirty and was surprised by that. He was alive for so long by then. He survived so much. He never thought he would.

And more people started to die, people he knew, his family, friends, Rangers, some older than him and some not. And he was still there.

And then his daughter-in-law died, and he didn’t. He was getting older, too old to fight now. And he was still alive.

Even Crowley died before he did. And Halt didn’t think it would be possible. He was practically doomed since he was a kid. He wasn’t supposed to live so long, and bury his friends one after another.

And yet he did.

#rangers apprentice #halt o'carrick #ranger’s apprentice #ranger's apprentice #cralt #headcanon #theory #cw death #cw mental health #cw depressive thoughts

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glassartpeasants · 1 year

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Just For A Second

Tomura Shigaraki x F!Reader

Warnings: Self harm, angst, depression, feelings of self hatred, toxic family, mentions of death,

A/N: Sorry if it's short. I was just sad and kinda wanted to get rid of said sadness.

~~~

It hurts.

In all your years of life, you never thought something could hurt so much. Especially now. It just felt like you were breaking in two. Knowing that no matter how hard you could try. It would never mean anything in the end.

Everything seemed so mundane now. Nothing seemed to give you any satisfaction anymore. It felt like the world had turned black and grey.

Nothing gave you the satisfaction anymore as it once did. You remembered being happy to get up in the morning. Not staying in bed until noon trying to find a reason to get up.

Not staying up late thinking about all the wrong you’ve done and how you just wished to go back in time and change everything. Maybe your life wouldn’t be such a disaster.

You remember when you used to love writing, but now it's like a chore every time you do. The happiness that once flowed onto the page gone. Instead, a mind filled with empty thoughts took its place.

Nothing seemed to be going right. You could feel tears prick your eyes as you sat in your bathtub. Crying and begging to know why you had to feel this way. What had you done to deserve the torture you were enduring?

You didn’t want to tell anyone. The thought of bothering even more people only made your heart clench harder. Why bother people with your stupid thoughts and words? You didn’t want to drag them down in the bottomless hole you dug yourself in.

“HEY! Hurry up in there! Stop hogging all that hot water!” God, now you’ve made them upset. Why couldn’t you just suck it up and get it over with instead of getting in people's way!

“Yes, I’m sorry!” Getting up out of the tub, you dry yourself off. You get a view of your body as you do, and you can feel your stomach sink.

God, how you hated your body.

You knew that other people had it worse than you. You can still hear your mother telling you that no matter how big you are, your beautiful, and that applies to everyone.

It only you could believe the words your mom had told you.

Why couldn’t you just look at yourself in the mirror and say positive things about yourself? Instead of everything you hate? Why couldn’t you show yourself love like you’ve seen people do on TV and social media? Why couldn’t you have the love that they had?

You couldn’t bare to look at yourself anymore before you put your clothes on and cleaned up before opening the door and leaving.

“Finally!” The door slammed shut behind the man, and you could feel your heart skip a beat.

Why did you have to be so sensitive? Why did a small thing such as a slamming door place such an icky feeling in your chest? You just wanted to get to your room and lie down.

~~~

You wake up to text messages from the family group chat your mom had put you in with you and your brother.

Reading the text messages, you saw that someone you loved had passed away in their sleep that night. You could feel the tightness in your chest and continued reading the words your mother had sent you.

Every sentence was more gut-punching than the last. It felt like punch after punch was thrown at you before you simply struggled to continue reading before you read her next text messages.

‘God, I’d wish I die. I wish your piece of shit father dies as well. You always show your love and appreciation for him and hang out with him on every Holiday! Hell, I even have to share mothers day with him!’

You didn’t text back.

What would you say? There was nothing to say when it was always like this. Talking about how much her life sucks, how she wishes she’d died already, and how much disdain she has for your father.

You know your father hasn’t always been the best. But the thought of even losing one parent, let alone two, is something you just couldn’t get by.

Why did this always have to happen? All they could ever do was fight and talk about how much they hated one another. It was so exhausting. Hearing hate spew from the mouths of the one that created you.

You sat in bed and looked up at the ceiling as your phone lay on the nightstand.

Why couldn’t you just have a happy family like the ones on tv? The ones where they don’t curse each other's existence. One where you could remember a happy childhood without the constant fights, the different houses, and the back of a police car as you were escorted to a house that wasn’t your own.

All these memories seemed to haunt you daily as the thoughts of what your life could have been drained you.

A knocking at your door brought you back to earth as you allowed them in.

“Man, you should really clean up your room.”

“Did you come in here just to tell me my room is dirty? If so, leave I wanna sleep.” You say as you turn your back to the man standing behind you.

“Now, calm down, grumpy pants. I just came here to tell you breakfast is ready.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You said that last night. You need to eat to survive, idiot. Now get your ass out of bed before I drag you out.” You hear the door shut as he walks away. You sigh before sitting up and placing your feet on the cold ground as you walk toward the dining room.

The sound of laughter echoed through the halls as you walked toward the open area.

“Morning, sleepy head! Lazy ass!” Well, that was one way to get you back to sleep and never leave your room.

“Here you go (Y/N)! Can you believe how much food we raided from that small grocery store!” Happiness shown on her face made a smile crawl on yours. Her smile was infectious despite there being no ill intent behind it. It gave you a small sense of jealousy.

Why couldn’t you be as happy as her?

~~~

You were told to stand guard as the group gathered supplies. It was an easy job looking at it. But something inside you told you that you only got this part because they didn’t think you could do the other stuff.

“No. I’m good at what I do. I like this job, and they know I can do anything else.” You tried to convince yourself. You were fighting with yourself eternally before a familiar feminine voice rang through your ears.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing here? This is a bad part of town; you shouldn’t be here! Don’t you know how reckless your being?!” The sound of your mother's condescending voice rang through the alley.

“I’m fine. What do you need?”

“Well, since you know, it’s my duty as a hero to ensure everything stays well in my community.”

“Okay, then, I guess.”

“I haven’t seen you in weeks, and this is all you have to say to me?”

“Can we please not start this now? You first told me how I was reckless being in this part of town without even asking why I was here.”

“Well, I’m sorry. Guess I'm just a bad mom for worrying that you’ll turn out like your father. Being in this part of town is just too suspicious (Y/N)!”

“Woooowwww. Love how this is going. Can we please not do this? I don’t have the energy to butt heads with you. Just let me do my thing, and you do yours.”

“You were always like this! Why can’t you be more like your brother? He stays on the good side of town and has a road to success painted for him!”

“You mean the same brother I’ve seen around here many times asking for drugs 'cause he can’t handle the pressure you're pushing on him?”

“God, why are you always so defiant? Always acting like I’m such a terrible mother!”

“THAT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE ONE!”

“Don’t raise your voice at me, young lady! I’ve put a roof over your heads and given you food to eat!”

“Yeah, the bare minimum! That's literally what parents are supposed to do for their children!”

“Your such an ungrateful brat! You're just like your father!”

“You know what? This conversation is done. Get out of here and leave me alone. I’ve got better ways to ruin my day than to talk to you.”

“Your such a horrible daughter. Sometimes I wonder why I ever should have kept you.” Your mother turned her head before stomping away, leaving you alone. You can feel hot tears start to stream down your face as you try to gather yourself to look okay in front of everyone.

You didn’t want to bother them with your petty troubles.

~~~

All you could do was look at your sketchbooks as pages and pages were filled with colorful and lively pictures, but now, it’s just like everything you made seemed to be dull and void of life. All the faces in your drawings expressed such sadness that you didn’t even realize you put on them.

You tried drawing, but as soon as you laid your pencil down, all your inspiration went out the window. Your body once again filled with just a numb feeling as you looked at the blank page in front of you.

You didn’t notice you were crying until a tear landed on the paper.

Your mother always said that only babies cry. Telling you how weak you were every time a tear threatened to spill from your cheeks.

God, you felt so helpless. What was wrong with you? Why couldn’t you do such a simple thing as drawing? You tried to write earlier, but you simply couldn’t put anything down. It was like all the happiness had been sucked out of your body.

You let go of the book before hugging yourself as tears stained your cheeks. Your father would have called you pitiful for simply crying over a little feeling, making you feel ten times shittier.

You could feel the scabs on your arms get caught on your shirt sleeves, making you wince in pain. All you could do was look at the healing cuts before starting to pick at them. Just wanting to feel something other than numb.

The blood drained from each scab was enough to think they were fresh. The smell of iron filled your nose as you got up from bed and walked quietly towards the door. You didn’t want anyone to see. You just needed to clean them off and bandage them before you hid them with your sleeves again.

You opened the door and were met to face your boss standing in front of it with his fist in the motion of knocking on it.

“Dinners ready-” You saw him looking down at your arms, which you quickly hid behind your back. As you tried to run away from him only to have his hand hold your bicep and pull you towards him as he looked at the cuts.

“These are gonna get infected, idiot.” He then dragged you towards the bathroom, where he sat you down on the tub's rim and closed the door. Locking it as well.

“What are-”

“Shush.”

“...” You could see him grab hydrogen peroxide and bandages before heading towards you.

“Hold out your arms.” You did what he asked before you felt his rough hands gently grab your arms.

“This will hurt, so don’t freak out, got it? I can kill you if you're not careful.”

“Understood.” He nodded at you before slowly pouring it into your arms. Bubbles started to fizz along the cuts as you held back tears from the pain. The feeling soon turned into just a barely noticeable stinging.

He cleaned your wounds before carefully putting bandages along your arms so as not to wrap them too tight and irritate your skin too much.

“I-...Thank you, Shigaraki.” He didn’t say anything as he held your arms in his hands. You didn’t know what he was thinking at the moment, but you could feel tears form in your eyes.

God, you were so pathetic. Crying over someone cleaning your wounds and then not answering you? Why were you such a crybaby? Crying over something so stupid. God, your so so stupid.

“Don’t touch them. I have something I need to attend to.” Without another word, he got up, walked out the bathroom door, and left you sitting there, still having tears rolling down your face.

‘I’m such a fucking idiot. Why did I think he was doing it? Probably, so his only healer isn’t out of the game.’ You cry and hide your bandages as you go back to your room. You just wanted to cry and wish that you were somewhere else. Somewhere far away where you could feel happiness.

Even if it’s just for a second. Was that too much to ask?

#tomura shigaraki x reader #tomura shiragaki #shigaraki tomura #shigaraki x reader #mha shigaraki #tomura x reader #mha #bnha #cw sh #cw bl00d #cw depressive thoughts

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candy-colored-misery · 8 months

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"my soul aches for something better than this."

2023 journal entry, from me.

#cas's thoughts #candy colored misery #venting #cw depression #cw depressive thoughts #depressing quotes #mentally tired #actually mentally ill #tw sui implied #vent tag #vent post

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paintpanic · 2 years

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why do i feel so bad?

#for any concerned followers I AM FINE please don't worry about me #this is vent art but i promise that i am ok; just examining my feelings in relation to a character i think is cool #i promise i wont possess anyone 😊#im really not sure what to tag this but please let me know if theres anything applicable that needs a content warning #ask 2 tag #02 kirby #zero two kirby #eye contact #cw depressive thoughts #that seems applicable #edit:#cw repetition

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tythezawmbieslayer · 3 months

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“What if the only way not to feel bad

Is to stop feeling anything at all

Forever.”

-Hannah Baker.

#tw sui implied #tw sui vent #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw depression #tw depressive #tw depressing shit #cw depression #cw depressive thoughts #cw sui mention #cw sui thoughts #cw sui implied #tw sui threat

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chrollohearttags · 8 months

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I would give my soul to have the biggest hug from reiner right now. Like his big ass arms cradling me and that stubble rubbing my forehead while he kisses me would fix 95% of my problems.

#I think I need a good cry atp #and I’ll be okay #everything is triggering me and it’s so stupid #liek why tf am I getting upset over fucking writing? since when?#cherry chats 🍒#cw depression #cw vent #cw depressive thoughts #reiner fluff #reiner braun #reiner aot

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shivroyslut · 4 months

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made something…

#the bear #the bear fx #carmy berzatto #tw depressing thoughts #cw depressive thoughts #trees photo edits and misc

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artemissmewiththatshit · 10 months

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i don’t remember how but in a conversation about my self-image with my therapist i mentioned how i was always an amy march defender ever since i read little women in 4th grade and she asked what were some of the negative traits people assign to amy and i was like well everyone thinks she’s annoying and whiny and vindictive and selfish and my therapist was like well is any of that true and i said well yeah kinda but she’s also like 12 and lonely and then i burst into tears so. take that for what you will.

#little women #amy march #louisa may alcott #cw depressive thoughts #therapy

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phlurrii · 10 months

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Kind of maybe dark, did Meau maybe, grow tired of being alone? The aches and pains of giving away so much dna and the fighting and such causing too much pain that Meau thought maybe it was her time to go? Like sorry horrid ideas but did she kind of lie down somewhere to prepare to die because honestly being alone on that planet must be awful especially for so long yes other pokemon but her brothers are elsewhere ect idk if she can truly connect with other pokemon in a similar meaningful way especially with shorter lifespans but because she was still needed Noe was summoned to help give her a reason to go on and because the world still needed an ancient mew so if Meau left the game so to speak itd cause big problems? Hence her doing something that caused Noe

;> the sad part is there’s only a couple things this post got wrong, the rest is dead on. Putting a read more since this can be sensitive to some ^^

Meau did indeed grow tired of being alone, the only beings that could match her life span were either very young themselves, had jobs to fulfill to allow the world to turn, or simply wanted to live their own lives away from their creator. Meau would adopt many children as I’ve mentioned, she raised them to adulthood, watched them make their own family, as well as watch them and their descendants die. While she loved this process, it was also the most painful for her as her children were only ever a blink in her life time.

Furthermore, she couldn’t simply create herself a friend, imagine existing for the sole purpose of keeping someone else happy or being their friend? They made you, they made your for one purpose, and thus there will always be a power imbalance. The inability for that friend to have and live their own life or make their own decisions about themself and what they want without it having to include Meau would be toxic and unhealthy. Nor could she make the “perfect” friend because then there’s no autonomy and what’s the point of having another person in your life if they have no self outside of you? It’s a paradox and not a healthy one.

So by the time she’d successfully created a functioning world full of life, she had nothing more to do then sustain it and maybe make some more… it was a cycle. The loneliness grew into depression, which grew more and more severe until she did something that, accidentally, summoned Missingno. early. It was a pure coincidence that Noe even appeared, but there was finally another being of the same mental age and life span she didn’t make and she could talk too.

With context concluded, what you got right is Meau was in a very dark and lonely place, while she never attempted to die, she certainly had the thoughts despite ignoring them. As well as very, very, very bad things happened when an Ancient Mew dies without a successor. What you missed was Noe wasn’t summoned because she was sad, but rather something she did that the depression pushed her too.

Good job on this question, you almost nailed it ;3

#council of theorists #givemeuniversalcrossovers #missingno #meau #ask #cw #cw sui thoughts #sui thoughts cw #cw depression #cw depressive thoughts

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