#dat eyeliner doe

[ghcstofutopia]

sharp claw

#grusha #my art #this one goes out to my mutual that mentioned grusha dressing edgy as hell under his goofy coat #and yes im 2 days late to funny number holiday but the boy is literally a snowboarder w chronic pain there is no way he does not smoke weed #ok dats all. LIKE if you would pass him the blunt IGNORE if you hope his eyeliner smudges

[woso-dreamzzz]

Caro

Pernille Harder x Hardersson!Reader

Caroline Graham-Hanen x Hardersson!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: The vending machine incident

The day of the incident begins like any other.

Momma wakes you up and dresses you in your you-sized green Harder jersey. She brushes your hair and serves you breakfast around getting ready for training.

You get bundled into the car and driven to practice where you have a second breakfast and essentially have free reign so long as you're in Momma's eyeline.

Practice is cool today and you get to run after stray balls, catching them in your hands and kicking them back to the nearest girl.

It's during one of Momma's media thingies that you wander off. She's sitting in front of a camera with a man speaking to her. You're sitting behind it, playing with your soft toys.

You're still very little, unable to do most things except walk and sometimes make noise. But you still have your opinions and you know that you passed one of those big black things that you press and get food out of.

You're half-dressed, having wiggled out of your shoes, socks and shorts so you manage to slip through the door in just one of Momma's long Wolfsburg jerseys and your nappy.

You stand in front of the big black thing, staring at all the snacks waiting for you. You're not tall enough to press on the buttons that Momma lets you do when she holds you so you try to stretch to reach.

"y/n?"

You turn at the mention of your second name. Momma and Morsa always call you 'princesse' so you suppose that y/n is your second name like how Momma's is Harder.

It's Caro.

Momma says she's from Norway which is kind of near Denmark but you can't like her in the same way that you're not allowed to like Morsa sometimes because she's from Sweden.

You think Caro's cool though because sometimes she wears a different jersey that's a colour that you don't know the name of yet but know you really like.

You blink up at her.

"Where's Pernille?" She asks you, knowing that you can understand her.

You ignore the question though and point at the big black thing. "Want."

"This one's broken."

You recognise that word and stamp your foot. "Want!"

She sighs, glancing back around before scooping you up. Caro's one of the people who's always a bit stiff holding you but you're happy in her arms, sucking at her shirt collar.

She carts you off up a set of stairs and down another corridor before you end up in front of the next big black thing. She fishes something out of her pocket and feeds it to the machine.

"What did you want?"

"Dat!" You say, pointing at a packet of crisps.

Caro lets you press the right buttons before sitting on the floor next to the big black thing and holding you between her legs.

You munch happily on your food, offering some to Caro which she graciously declines.

"Princesse!" There are calls of your name.

It sounds a bit like Momma so you grunt and go to move away.

Caro catches you around your stomach to keep you in place. Momma comes careening down the corner, tears dripping down her face as she crashes into you.

She does a silly kind of knee slide thing that crushes you between her and Caro - who looks just as surprised about the impact.

"Where did you find her?" She asks Caro before turning to you," Did you get lost, princesse? Did somebody take you?"

You don't answer, more preoccupied with kicking your legs out as Momma tries to slip your shorts back onto you.

"She was just by the vending machine," Caro says calmly," She wanted a snack. The one she was at was broken. I didn't want her to start crying."

"And no one was around her? Nobody took her?"

"Not that I could see."

Momma breathes out a deep breath, pulling you firmly into her body as soon as she's wrestled you back into your shorts. "You can't wander like that," She tells you though she knows that you're either not listening or not comprehending her," You could have gotten hurt."

You ignore her, staring up at the big black thing again and then back down at your empty crisps packet. You point. "Want!"

#woso x reader #hardersson x reader #pernille harder x reader #pernille harder #caroline graham hansen x reader #caroline graham hansen #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso #The Big Adventures Universe

[writerleo86]

Terravenger Season 6 - The Reunion Arc - Episode 502 (Do Not Copy) - 01.19.2024

Two years ago, someone rose from the ground while deep in the woods of the Griffin Courtyard. The individual looked around until they found another person standing by a dead tree nearby. It was the determined witch called Sirene who was covered in a black cloak.

The individual was revealed as a young woman with pale skin covered in dirt and long midnight-blue hair which was puffy up. Both her eyes were covered in pure darkness. And she didn't wear any clothing.

The woman wrapped her arms around herself as Sirene slowly walked to her.

Sirene told her "It's okay Child. Yer safe now."

The other woman slowly lifted her head and cried "Why in the Heavens am I back in this plane?"

"I told ya to calm yerself!" replied Sirene. "I made sure dat brat Sirbo wouldn't bring ya back again. Well... After I'm done wit' ya dat is."

Then the woman asked "Why did you bring me back from the Dead? Is it Beau Ravenstone? Is everyone in Midas City safe?"

Sirene informed her "Easy! This has got nothin' to do wit' Midas. This is a diff'rent problem!"

The woman soon fell to her knees. She lowered her head and thought to herself.

Sirene said "I need yer help, Granger. I need ya to help me find out wat dat dirty-bug Scorpio did to my mama."

"General Scorpio?" cried the blue-haired woman. "What does he have to do with your mother?"

Sirene lowered her head and anger came to her eyes.

The woman repeated "What does General Scorpio have to do with your mother's death?"

Terravenger -- Season 6

Episode 502:  Sarah Granger and Naigahata

Some time later, the lone Sirene began chanting as she stood near the burning mountains somewhere at the Mafic Isle.

Sirene had on black eyeliner and red lipstick. She also had a pair of small black dots on the middle of her forehead. And her long purple hair was worn out. She had on a sleeveless black shirt with a thick collar, tight black pants, and long boots made of black leather. She also wore a long black warmer around each wrist. And a small golden talisman shaped as a two-headed snake was placed on the top of her chest.

And standing behind her was the reanimated soldier, Sarah Granger. She had light skin and darkness covering her eyes. And her long midnight-blue hair was worn straight down. She wore only a long black robe with long sleeves. And she had on a pair of baggy black pants that lowered to her ankles.

Bones laying before Sirene floated into the air. And the bones slowly formed into the body of a human. It appeared as a man with pale skin, golden eyes, and short red hair that was wavy.

The man slowly landed on his right knee as Sirene implied "You'll be of use to me."

Granger asked "Are you really going to trust the likes of him?"

And she implied "You know he tried to destroy our own city with his demonic powers that time."

Sirene yelled "He's da only one dat knows where He's hidin' da body!"

Then the witch claimed "I know Sirbo's got more parts of da body on Terravenger somewhere! I need dis guy!"

"You must really be desperate to bring me back."

The naked man lifted his head and asked "How do you know I will not flee? Do you truly believe I will not pick where I left off?"

"Cuz I'm da one commandin' ya now," Sirene told him. "You gonna tell me wat ya know, Naigahata!"

Granger hurried to the left side of the witch and cried "You know this beast tried to kill Beau and countless others. Why would you want to enlist someone as vile as this guy for this cause?"

A vicious Sirene turned to her and yelled "I told ya! Dis guy knows where Sirbo dug dat body! I got no choice!"

The sinister Naigahata stood up and faced the reanimated solder.

"Sarah Granger," He described. "As I live and breathe, I would never think our paths would cross once again. You are still a sight for sore eyes."

"Bastard!" yelled Granger.

Naigahata pointed his right finger toward her forehead and said "But let us shield the death on that beauty."

Next, a small ball of red liquid formed from his finger. Naigahata soon made the ball splash all over Granger's face. Her face shined until the darkness in her eyes vanished. Now she had a pair of beautiful brown eyes.

Sirene gave a quick glance and revealed "Ya look like ya did long ago."

Granger began to stare at her hands as she told the man "It seems that you are important to Sirene. So I'll let this pass... For now."

"Hold on," implied Naigahata. "I was able to restore her bright looks perfectly. But how is it possible that I am a vampire no longer?"

Sirene shook her head and reported "I used a spell. Ya know Dark Resurrection can't bring back vampires. So I made my own spell dat brings back anythin', even you. I did dat by takin' yer blood and somethin' else. Somethin' I had to go to South America for."

Naigahata shook his head and commented "I have always heard stories about you. You were known to my kind as the Death Queen. I should be eternally grateful for the crafts you have mastered during your time among the living."

A large stream of the red liquid circled around his ankles as Naigahata gave a wicked grin.

"Your efforts however were in vain," He informed Sirene. "Now I shall bid you farewell. I have much to do, and a short time to do it."

Suddenly, the red liquid dropped into the ground which made Naigahata looked around in disbelief.

He cried "What has happened?"

Sirene gave a loud cackle and responded "I'm da one dat brought yer sorry ass back from da Dead. So I'm da one callin' da shots here!"

Granger gave a soft chuckle and commented "I should have known there were hidden effects in your spell which is quite similar to the Dark Resurrection technique."

"What have you done?" cried Naigahata.

And Granger replied "You are such a common fool, Naigahata. You of all should know how the Dark Resurrection technique works. The user is able to seize control of the one that was brought back from the Dead. In other words, Sirene owns you."

Sirene informed Naigahata "Like I said, yer gonna do wat I say till I don't need ya no more."

Granger gave out a louder laugh and said "Oh this is going to be interesting."

The angered Naigahata turned to her as Sirene told him and Granger "It's time we got started! Da days of revenge are here!"

    Walking through the dark hallway were the team of Sirene and Erich Sidney who were leading the freed Cama Veil out from the wicked hands of the Light-Bringer and his minions.

    Sirene gave out a wicked grin as she thought to herself "I hope Granger's found it."

    Journeying through a hallway at another part of the hideaway was the resurrected soldier named Sarah Granger.

    Granger appeared as a fit woman with brown eyes, light skin, and long midnight-blue hair. She had on black eyeliner and red lipstick. She wore a tight white outfit with khaki sleeves. Around the lower part of her top was made of see-through cloth. And attached to her top was a pair of tight white bottoms. She also wore a pair of long black gloves. And she had on black boots that reached the top of her knees.

    She searched around while thinking to herself "The warmth of your ki is drawing close. I will find you."

[darklight-owl]

okay im here wit da ocs. anyway so i made 2!!! the first one is a chinese girl named xiaona (小娜) in hanzi, i believe (dont quote me on that). her design came to me in a dream, actually. i dreamed that there was a girl who was pretty as all get-out but she didn’t speak. like,, at all. just silent. she was very kind-hearted, though, and she gave everything her all. she had a lot of chronic diseases tho in her adult life (mostly ones that affected her muscles and stuff like that), but even tho, she powered thru. anyway, she’s a teenager right now (14-17 prolly). i also made for her to be a friend (maybe love interest? maybe?) for the second oc, but mostlt just a friend. i made her so dat she was born in japan to a chinese father and japanese mother, then she left to america with her family for undecided reasons when she was about nine. she was already taking care of her younger siblings by that time, though. she’s very motherly and caring, she just seems rude at first because she’s blunt and she doesn’t speak you know??? anyway. doesn’t she give off the same vibes as shoko komi. nah she’s not like that. anyway below is a picrew i made of her (creds to nellseto)

bbg wit da bridge piercing 😩🙏🏼. anyway. ((she has at least eleven eyeliners. actually she only wears eye makeup and lipgloss. anyway.)) i think she’s my first female oc i’ve made that’s actually in the average height range, considering where she’s from and all that! all my other female ocs have been at least 2.5 inches below the average height for their ages and ethnicities. anyway.... more about her later i just forget 💀.

SECOND OC!!!

so the second oc is this belarusian kid named aliyaksandr/aleksandr/Аляксандр. it’s complicated lmao. i usually refer to him as aliyaksandr or sasha/sanya. THERE!! this man has too many damn names. anyway, he’s in his teenaged years just like xiaona, he’s actually good friends with xiaona, they spend a lot of time together actually. they’re both pretty popular, but xiaona is more only popular bc she’s associated with aliyaksandr, yk? anyway. both his parents are from belarus. his mother works as a math teacher at the same school that sasha attends and his father works as a carpenter. they moved from belarus to america like only a few months before aliyaksandr enrolled in american school as the school year started up and all that, so all this is kinda new to him yk!! xiaona helps him out doe cuz they’re sort of in the same boat. anyway heres a picrew of the beautiful sasha himself!

i’m kinda down bad for him tbh. other details about his appearance... he’s tall, he has braces, and he wears lots of monochrome, greyscale clothes. man is basic. he has straight hair but it gets frizzy (it’s a little bit s t r a n g e </3.) anyway. he also has an unnamed older brother but i dont have much lore for him yet lolz. anyway here ya go bbg! my new ocs!

awww i love emm!

Especially Xiaona, there's not much representation of nonverbal or mute characters. I wish they be blessed with happiness forever <3

#mutuals #mutual ocs #mutual's oc #mutual ask #sage / buffporcupine

[lesleyschrijft]

FLABBERGASTED COLLEGA

Ooit heb ik ergens gewerkt waar je met heel veel collega's te maken hebt, en dan met name veel vrouwen, oh oh hilarisch was dat, en wat echt leuk is, de dames onder elkaar die houden wel van een lolletje. dat maakt de werk sfeer dan wel weer heel leuk.

Nou moet ik zeggen dat ik niet de makkelijkste ben, in zo'n hok met al die wijven mag ik er misschien een handje vol en de rest die moet ik niet, die hebben een nare houding (om het maar even netjes te zeggen) en daar lul ik dan ook niet mee.

Provoceren en onzin lullen daar ben ik goed in, en sommigen zijn dan flabbergasted, oftewel met stomheid geslagen, je weet wel, dan heb je zo'n blik op je gezicht alsof je in shock bent, soms kan dat gebeuren bijvoorbeeld na het plotseling zien van de vrouw van je minnaar, die onverwachts vroeger thuis is terwijl jullie net weer zijn aangekleed en jij nog even aan de keukentafel aan een kopje thee zit, zuigend aan een pepermuntje.

Dan sta je met open mond een beetje schaapachtig wereldvreemd te kijken als een baby die net het geboortekanaal heeft verlaten en zo pardoes vanuit het barings bad boven water komt en voor het eerst de wereld aanschouwt.

Zo ken ik er ook eentje, het arme ding was duidelijk niet veel gewend aan de blik op haar gezicht te zien, want elke keer weer trok ze een gezicht alsof ze net uit een vagina gekropen kwam zodra ze mij zag.

Nou had ze van zichzelf al chronisch een afgezakte zeikbek, maar goed, dat tot daar aan toe.

Toen ik nog jonger was en met mijn wit gepoederde gezicht, zwart getekende wenkbrauwen en zwarte eyeliner en lange zwarte haar heel veel weg had van Morticia Addams, was dat voor haar te heftig allemaal en kon haar tere zieltje mijn verschijning blijkbaar niet aan.

Vaak heb ik op het punt gestaan om vlak voor haar neus met een serieuze blik opeens BOE te roepen, en dan daarbij zachtjes in haar oor fluisterend...kijk maar uit..ik bijt...

Sprakeloos was het arme ding telkens weer, maar toen ze erachter kwam dat ik tijdens het stappen

elk weekend mezelf laveloos zoop moest ze helemaal bijna aan het zuurstof gekoppeld worden.

En daarom deed ik op personeelsfeestjes expres alsof ik straal bezopen was, ja shockeren daar was ik goed in, mien meut had mij weer in de gaten en met een wereldvreemde blik vol afschuw keek ze mijn kant op zodra ze me zag.

(Later hoorde ik dat ze dacht dat ik stoned was, wat een giller.)

Ach ja... een vergissing is menselijk, aangezien haar stiefzoon aan de drugs was, heeft ze de nodige kennis en ervaring met mensen die stoned zijn,

Maar goeie grutten, hemeltje lief... neuh joh, hier vergiste ze zich toch behoorlijk hoor, wiet en shit daar doe ik niet aan, ik hou het wel bij rum of wijn.

Ik zei tegen mijn man die ik bij me had, zeg Peet...zie je dat tutje daar, die daar naast die ouwe man zit, laat jij eens even zien hoe goed je in EHBO bent en doe eens even de heimlich greep bij haar, want zo te zien stikt ze bijna in haar bitterbal, en ik wil niet hebben dat ik straks op me geweten heb dat mijn verschijning haar fataal is geworden.

Waar kan een mens van de leg van raken hé, oh oh, maar goed zo zie je maar dat elk mens weer anders is.

Zij is zo'n type wat liever gaat borduren op de zaterdag avond, ik denk met een kopje thee en zelf gebakken boterkoek erbij.

En ik ging nou eenmaal graag uit op de zaterdagavond onder het genot van een glaasje rum.

DUH....SHOCKING

Ik persoonlijk zou niet van mijn á propos zijn wanneer iemand met een wit gepoederd hoofd en zwarte eyeliner een borreltje drinkt, niet iets om geshockeerd over te zijn.. me dunkt.

Waar ik dan weer persoonlijk wel mond op mond beademing voor nodig zou hebben dat is wanneer ik s'morgens wakker wordt naast een echtgenoot die zo oud is dat hij mijn vader had kunnen zijn, moet je je indenken dan ben jij 40 en is hij bijna 70, en op familie kiekjes kom je eigenlijk tot de conclusie dat je echtgenoot eigenlijk beter bij je moeder past dan bij jou,

Moet je je voorstellen, zit je in de zomer lekker buiten ergens op een terrasje dan kom je iemand van lang geleden tegen van de dans mariekes ofzo...en dan krijg je de vraag...Hee Hallo, dat is lang geleden.en wie is deze meneer? is dat je opa?

En dan moet jij weer voor de zoveelste keer uitleggen dat het noch je opa is en noch je vader en dat je ook niet als vrijwilligster bij de zonnebloem bejaarde mensen een leuk dagje en wat entertainment bezorgt, neen beste mensen het is gewoon mijn man moet je dan weer voor de zoveelste keer zeggen, terwijl je beiden op een pepermuntje zuigt die op het schoteltje zo leuk bij je kopje thee lag.

Of waar ik ook van de leg van zou zijn dat is wanneer je dan 25 jaar getrouwd bent en een romantisch weekendje in een hotel boekt in Boekapest maar van te voren wel even moet informeren of er ook til liften in het hotel aanwezig zijn om je opa...uh...man s'morgens mee uit bed te takelen,

Heel kut allemaal, en zwaar, vooral héél zwaar, je zou bijna een borrel nodig hebben...of een joint.

#blog #blogger #bloggen #lezen #humor #kortverhaalm

[patriciaidsinga]

Smokey eyes

Noordhollands Dagblad 28 januari 2023

“Trek dat andere sexy shirt nog eens aan mam!” Dat andere sexy shirt, ik weet wat ze bedoelt, ik pluk en trek wat in de hoop met kleding op zoek naar het topje met witte glimmende lovertjes. Het afgelopen uur heb ik alles wat kleurig en glimmend is aan gehad. 

Ik verkleed me in de gang en wandel dan – tádaa!! - de huiskamer in waar twee bontgekleurde fashionista’s van 9 jaar hun ongezouten mening geven.

Vanavond speel ik met mijn band Miss Ginger op Alkmaars Eigenste in Podium Victorie. Vanaf het moment dat ik mompelde ‘wat moet ik hemelsnaam aan vanavond’ is het feest begonnen. Giechelend word ik behangen met boa’s in het zwart, rood, wit en vliegen de tiara’s, kettingen, shawls over en weer.

Eigenlijk heb ik geen zin in het getut van de meiden, maar het leidt af van mijn verdrietige gevoel. Naast het feit dat ik vanavond voor het eerst sinds lange tijd weer speel, zal het ook voor het eerst zijn dat ik speel zonder Ton, mijn muziekvriend die in september overleed. “Deze rode jurk moet nu aan” wordt er geroepen, ik doe automatisch al mijn armen in de lucht. 

“Je ziet er prachtig uit” kirt fashionista 1. Ik zie vooral de zwevende kipfilets onder mijn bovenarmen. Dat moesten we maar eens een beetje verbergen onder een jasje. 

En dan hebben de dames mijn nieuwe make-up even op zichzelf ‘uitgeprobeerd’. Het is een doosje waar je subtiel met wat donkere en lichte oogschaduwaccenten en een eyeliner ‘smokey eyes’ kon creëren. Ze zien eruit alsof ze net in elkaar geslagen zijn. Hun kleding, de spiegel, alles zit onder, waaronder het witte sexy topje. Ik stuur ze boos naar de badkamer om alles schoon te maken. Één van de twee piept nog: pas op met de eyeliner, mam, want die vlekt. 

Het eindresultaat is naast twee schone glimmende gezichtjes een zwarte glimmende plastic broek die ik mag lenen van de buurvrouw. 

Die mag nooit meer uit, volgens de meiden en zo te voelen lukt dat ook niet meer. Ik krijg nog een zelfgemaakte lange ketting omgefrutsteld, die ik zonder dat ze het zien in mijn fietstas moffel. 

In de coulissen sta ik te wachten tot de vorige band is afgebouwd. Ik voel me goed, sexy en zelfverzekerd. Ik spiek door een kiertje naar het publiek. Iedereen is er. Oude liefdes. Nieuwe liefdes. Een vader van het schoolplein. 

Ik zie Ton, die met zijn ondeugende blik mij door z’n krullen heen geruststellend toeknikt. Zelfs de kleine fashionista’s, die op dit tijdstip allang liggen te slapen zitten op het randje van het podium en steken goedkeurend hun duim op.

[s4lf-distruction]

does any1 know any eyeliners dat don’t smudge on da water line dat r vegan ??

[winter-seance]

Once Upon a Time, Extended Scene

#ouat #ouatedit #once upon a time #jefferson #sebstanedit #sebastian stan #my gifs #mygifs:ouat #mygifs:ss #i'm just having jefferson feels don't mind me #dat eyeliner doe #👌 #ngl i bought the blu ray of ouat season 2 just for this deleted/extended scene #WORTH IT #i needed it in HD

[diviinitas-moved]

d’ablo really does have a lot of hair

#dat eyeliner doe #overdeveloped neck muscles carrying all that around ajslhdfajskf #;; mun draws #i'm going to bed but this drawing time was needed

[aceshua]

original | recolored edit

#dat eyeliner doe #aceshua colors #recolored edit #seventeen #17 #xu minghao #the8 #sunflower thughao

[g0lden-diety]

Omg I loved your Hawks reaction with the sexy costume! Could you do other characters? Like Dabi, Fatgum, ect.. ?

Me reading this request:

The way I YELLED😩

Ok, lets do this‼️

✎ᝰ┆ Dabi

Ok, lets start with our favorite Menace to Society

So, in a costume, here are the things that he would probably think are hot and/or sexy:

Black

Leather/latex

Tight-fitting

Either exposing some stuff, or barely covering shit

So it's Halloween, and the League want to cause chaos

What better time to do it than Halloween?

Dabi ain't even wanna go chile🙄

He just wanted to stay at the base, smoke a couple blunts, fantasize about railing you into oblivion, eat some snacks, go to sleep

Toga eventually convinced him to let her put eyeliner on him and smudge it to stay true to his edgy persona

Dabi’s just sitting at the barstool, waiting for everyone to get finished getting ready

Homeboy does a double take when he sees you coming down the steps and a black, latex leotard-like thing with ripped fishnet tights, black , goth platform boots with a latex/leather black trench coat with the collar popped (giving very much dominatrix)

Lets not talk about how the leotard is unzipped at the top a little, your cha-cha bingos up and at ‘em (that was so corny I’m sorry😭)

You got on silver necklaces, rings, earrings, dramatic eyeliner, blood red lips, and a silver chain belt

Dabi stares a little harder than normal, and will not refrain from landing a smack on dat ass

He’s wayyyy more touchy, arm around your waist, hand on your ass back, standing way too close to you (like uh, you’re in my bubble tf)

JEALOUS DABI JEALOUS DABI JEALOUS DABI

Man oh man, any guy that looks at you funny you could swear Dabi’s eye twitches before he turns them to ash

Constantly pinning you up against walls and whispering dirty shit about how good he’s gonna fuck you

After he says that you ready to GET TF…ASAP

“Shiggy hurry this shit up, I got shit to do!”

“Be patient!”

“Bitch fuck you!”

So y’all are wreaking havoc, and you’re into it, using your quirk n being flashy, fighting and flipping people over

Guys, gals, and non binary pals are looking at you, lust in their eyes, and Dabi wants to live up to his mass murderer label

Some idiot decided to harass you, touching your ass and the emo toaster oven snaps

He takes your wrist (after you broke the harasser’s hand, ofc) and Dabi can’t hold it no more, he grabs you, the both of you breaking away from the rest off the group

He picks you up and slams you against the alleyway wall, completely unzipping your leotard, ripping open your fishnets, and slamming his rock-hard dick into you

“Yeah, you liked all those bastards starin’ at what’s mine, huh? You like makin’ me fuckin’ jealous, yeah? Well this is whatcha get, so take it,”

Sinks his teeth into your neck as he rams into you at an almost inhumane speed and force, laughs at the few tears running down your face, and slightly heats up his hand to brand you

He nuts in you, holding you there so you can cockwarm him, humming in the crook of your neck as your body shakes against him

“You’re mine, n’ mine only, understand? “

Definition of fucks you like he hates you

The exhaustion from all your energy being drained from Dabi got you, so he ended up covering you back up, carrying you over his shoulder

✎ᝰ┆FATGUM

Ohhhhh my god

He’s so flustered it’s not even funny

He’s trying his best to respectful

Y’all aren’t going anywhere, it’s just for the festivities of Halloween

Poofy Mini -skirt, sweetheart top, sweetheart platforms, tight thigh-high stockings with thigh overspill and garter, pigtails (do with that what you will)

Has been hard the whole night but doesn’t touch you out of respect

You call him in the kitchen because of an “accident” and he instantly runs to the kitchen because he’s worried your hurt

Oh boy , was he wrong

Your sitting on the counter, leaning on your side with whipped cream sprayed across your chest

Taishiro is S H O O K

Face goes redder than a red velvet cupcake

Uh, s-sugar? D-darlin’, your a little-uh- exposed,” covering his face, but taking occasional glances

“I made a mess, Taish, could ya clean me up?”

You gasp as his warm tongue trails up your chest, lapping up the whipped cream while his eyes are stuck on you

“Don’t you worry honey, I’ll take care of you”

Kisses up your thighs and eats you out so sweetly and sensually you almost cry

Sucks on your perky nipples while gently thrusting into you, careful not to hurt you

“You’re so beautiful, my pretty little sweetheart,”

Aftercare KING

Runs you a bubble bath, supplies you with cuddles, snacks, and blankets while you’re on the couch watching scary movies

✎ᝰ┆Aizawa

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

“Uhhhh…out?” You mumble through Aizawa’s restraints

Does not let you take a step towards that door before you’re wrapped up

It’s so dark in the house, he doesn’t see your costume, but when you step foward, it’s like a sluttier version of his hero costume

Black crop pullover with front zipped almost all the way down, black cargo pants and utility belt (waist is giving very much Aaliyah)

Knee high black boots and the yellow goggles hanging loosely over your chest

You were looking for Aizawa’s restraints to just borrow, but you couldn’t find them so you decided to leave without them

That is, until Aizawa popped out of nowhere

Truthfully, Miruko was having a Halloween party, so you were quietly trying to leave because Shouta was asleep

“So…you’re telling me… you thought you could just leave looking like that… and expect me to not wanna fuck you senseless?”

LIKE SIR WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU???

He’s dragging you upstairs, tossing you on the bed, and next thing you know, you’re naked

Aizawa has your hands tied over your head, and he’s holding them into place with one hand as he’s pounding into you✨missionary style✨

He’s planting little kisses on your jaw while he’s whispering dirty talk in your ear

He’s quickening his pace, and just when you’re about to cum, he stops, making you whine

“You don’t get to cum unless you beg for it, kitten,”

It’s the punishment for me

✎ᝰ┆Enji

Sexy Cruella De Vil costume sexy Cruella De Vil Costume sexy Cruella De Vil Costume

So there’s a Halloween-themed hero gala going on, and you and fire man were invited

While Enji didn’t wanna dress up, you did

“Y/n, hurry or we’re going to be late!”

“Oh, calm your blowtorch Enji we’ll be fine!”

Cue the sexy trombone jazz sound

You had on a tight, long spaghetti strap black dress with a super high slit, white, fluffy, fur coat, red stilettos, red, silk, elbow length gloves, vintage cigarette holder

Your hair was half white and half black, styled in old Hollywood curls, red lipstick, expensive necklace, just looking fine asf

Enji’s eyes are WIDE OPEN

The way you strut over, your heels clacking against the floors as you grabbed the keys and pressed them firmly against his chest, your hand running down his suit jacket?

LAWD have mercy he’s eyes are you the whole night

But so are everyone else’s

See, you’re sitting at the bar area, talking to one of your colleagues, Enji’s eyes are burning (not literally) a hole through you

You notice and you laughed at one of your colleagues jokes, lightly smacking his chest as you hiked your leg up on the stool, revealing your red, lacy , thigh garter

“Alright, that’s it,” Enji mumbles to himself as he gets up and grabs you by the arm, dragging you out to the car

What does he do?

Breeds you in the backseat of his Rolls Royce (all Todoroki men have a breeding kink don’t @ me)

Lipstick is slightly smudged, but nothing you won’t be able to fix

Your sat on Enji’s lap the whole night, and there totally aren’t lipstick marks on his neck👀

✎ᝰ┆Present Mic

I have a raging headcannon that Mic is a diehard Aaliyah fan

So when you dress as her in her Try Again music video he is head over HEELS , 29x more in love with you than he was before, and his heart was swelled with love for you

Mans audibly says “WOWZA!” (Just to make you laugh)

You went to a Halloween party thing, and you guys were just dancing and vibing the whole night (you were channeling your inner Aaliyah, and killing it on the dance floor)

He has heart eyes on you all night, and he’s constantly touching you, holding your waist, major pda finatic

By the end of the night, you were tipsy, singing random Aaliyah lyrics and stumbling tryna do her dance moves

“Say yes or say no, cause I really— need somebody, ‘Zashi, are you that somebody?”

He just laughs, picking you up princess style and carrying you to the car

Since you can’t really function that well, Zashi gives you a bath, and gets you to bed

✎ᝰ┆Shigaraki

He literally stops playing his game when he sees you

Your costume is based on The Purge ( that Kiss Me mask, black bralette with an oversized white, bloodstained bomber jacket, low-waisted, leather pants with a silver chain belt, and black combat boots

You haven't pulled your mask down yet, so you a messy, black smokey eyes, purple-reddish lipstick, silver rings, silver chains, silver clips in your braids, y’know, looking all sexy and dangerous

“What?”

Looks you up and down, staring at your bloodstained chest a little to hard

“Im going with you,”

He goes to the Halloween party with you, which happens to be at a club

Shiggy has his hoodie up, watching you with a careful eye while you swung your bloodstained bat around, having the time of your life

He doesn't even wanna be there pls

“Hey. Let's go, I don't wanna be here,”

He refused to leave you around a bunch of creeps so yeah

You, obviously drunk: “awww, c’mon puddin’, live a little,”

When you call him Puddin’ it's like something in his goes off

Instantly dragging you to the bathroom to plan on scolding you

“Don’t call me-wait, why the hell are you looking at me like that?”

“You’re sexy when you're angry,”

Man's goes RED

Instantly gripping you up

“You’re lucky I’m not dusting the clothes off you right now,”

Do it, pussy

Throws you over his shoulder and carries you out of the club

You know the headcannon that gamer guys have big dicks?

Yeah, well Shiggy’s a gamer, and he knows how to use it

✎ᝰ┆All Might

Omg I'm laughing so hard rn😭

He's literally next to you staring straight ahead, eyes wide, hands squished in between his thighs, trying to hide his boner, refusing to look at you out of respect

“So...nice whether we have today, isn't it hon’?”

“Toshinori, you know you can look, right?”

He's like an icicle, just sitting, looking ahead

Once he looks at you ✨poof✨ Small Might

His face is a cute shade of pink and he's cleaning the blood from his mouth, trying to be discreet about looking at your protruding tits

Once you sit on his lap and softly guide him to look at you, oh my GOD he's flustered 😩 hands in face, rambling, trying to keep cool while you pepper his face with kisses

Soon, he just buries his face in your chest, snuggling your boobs like pillows while you tease him

Very VERY respectful (until you give him access to ravage you for looking so good, then it's like Uhhhh Symbol of Peace? More like Symbol of destroying this pu-)

✎ᝰ┆Miruko

Playboy bunny costume. That's it. Send Tweet.

So, Miruko’s having a Halloween party and it's jumping, people dancing, drinking, having a great time

So Miruko's talking with Hawks and all of a sudden, she sees you, black bodysuit/leotard (whatever its called) black fishnets, black red bottoms, the cuffs, the bow tie, the black bunny ear, and a cute little white bunny tail

The bunny hero literally has heart eyes for you

“My cute little bunny, look at you...lookin’ all hot,”

She grabs you by the waist and leans down to your ear

“I might have to take a trip down that rabbit hole later”

“RUMI CHILL!”

Hands are on your waist the whole night while you guys dance

Her eyes are trained on you the whole night, giving very much ✨prolonged eye contact✨

When your talking to someone who gets a little too friendly, she comes up behind you, staring right at the person, and leaves a hickey on your neck

✎ᝰ┆Midnight

Oh lord, the woman is ON YOU

So flustered and whispering how good you look in that latex mini skirt

Whisper all sort of FREAKY STUFF in your ear

“You look so beautiful tonight baby, I just wanna tie you up in a cute little bow...as a matter fact, we’ll do that later,”

NEMURI KAYAMA PLS HOLD YOUR HORSES

Any person who gets to friendly? Uses her quirk to put them alseep

Either that or makes out w/ you right in front of them

Not gonna say much, just gonna say you discovered some new kinks that night 👀

#black y/n #my hero academia x black girl #mha x black reader #my hero academia x black reader #black girl x mha smut #aizawa x black!reader #aizawa headcanons #aizawa smut #bhna dabi x black reader #dabi headcanons #dabi smut #all might headcanons #all might x black reader #shigaraki x black reader #shigaraki headcanons #shigaraki smut #enji Todoroki x black reader #enji Todoroki headcannons #enji Todoroki smut #present mic x black reader #present mic headcanons #fatgum x black reader #fatgum headcanons #fatgum smut #midnight headcannons #midnight mha x black reader #midnight smut #miruko x black reader #miruko headcannons #miruko smut

[es05l2k5sl]

I'll never understand why WB had to redesign the Batcast for the new Bat adventures. Some characters took getting used to. But as for the villains, I'm roasting they asses cus they're ugly. Can't change my mind.

These Oswalds together look like 2 different people bruh. But we're here to talk about new Oswald. This Wimpy x Olive Oyl fusion snoody looking ass bitch. I'd like his outfit if it didn't have that lazy drawned bow tie looking like 2 triangles glued together & those fake ass MJ gloves. Also when tf did he have 10 fingers in dis universe? Also fuck that hair. Rocking a balding Mullet like ponytail before. Now it's just a boring cut down. Got dat snooty ass bitch look on face like his bird shit don't be stinking. I'll rock tf out u. Lookin like a whole ass Looney character or sum mf from the 30s.

Wot da fuck dey got Selena wearing here? Sis looking like a whole ass alien. Kid vs Kat looking ass bish. And her skin white af too? Did sis fall in some damn Joker acid too? Sis whole lower face is white as shit! Dat shit paler than crack. Like sis got the white slapped outta her and she just turned whiter. Das probably what happened. Her ass probably got on my mans Bruce last nerves one night and got da shit backslapped out her ass.

So my dude Matthew got turned a different color pal & got his neck privileges revoked? Lazy af but not the worst revamp.

You kno that meme: "upgrade, upgrade, FUCK GO BACK!"? Dis pre much sums up Jonathan here. My mans jus looks so dirty here. Looking straight outta da trash bin. Like literally dirty. Nasty ass teeth probably got dat hot ass breath blowing thru them bitches. Das a real fear toxin right there. Long ass black as shit dirty ass hair. Tryna copy off my girl from the ring w dat shit. Need to take dat dirty ass wig and mask and Amish hat tf off my dude. It is not rocking you. Dat whole worn out trashy ass outfit ain't working for you either hoe. You need to take yo ass a bath bitch cus your arms looking brown and ashy as a bitch. You can not even THINK about borrowing anything from me w yo dirty creepy stalker lookin ass. If you don't put down that damn stick like yo ass need help walking and shit I oughtta bitch ya ass with the shit fo going around dressed like dis. Take that damn rope off your neck bitch fo I do something Bruce won't do.

Bruh, you can not go up to my face and tell me these niggas are the same person in the same mofucking universe! Jervis What da fuck did they DO TO YOU MY N**GA?? N**ga looking like a damn leprechaun with special needs and shit. Rocking all dat dookie green swag but you got no swag anymore my dude. It's shit like you clothes and yo breath! Yo shits wasn't perfect and white before but them hoes looking hella worse now. What you get drinking all that damn tea my n**ga. Ol Tiny ass n**ga. Like wot. HOW?! HOW TF DID YO ASS SHRINK??? LIKE SOMEBODY TOSSED YOU ASS IN A LAUNDRY DRYER AND PROBABLY FORGOT TO TAKE YO STUPID ASS OUT. PROBABLY WHY YO HAIR WHITE AND SMALL AS SHIT YA UGLY ASS LUCKY CHARMS LOOKING ASS CRACK FEENY. If you don't hop yo ass back under a rainbow with dem skinny ass broken heel lookin ass tap dancing shoes.

Victor, bruh, they dem did yo ass so dirty in the new adventures. I ain't gonna lie that new suit kinda ok. But you looking like a whole skeleton and shit. Lookin like a young Palpatine & shit. Ol Frisky dingo looking ass! Need to put those goggles back on. The least yo (spoiler) 2003 Baxter Stockman ass can do now.

Yo ass probably looking mad as shit cus ya can't jack it no more n**ga. Dats all gon now. Long with yo unloyal ass wife. How tf she gon bounce on you after everything you did for her? After all the years and bull you had to put up with & she leave yo cold ass for another nibba? Fuck DCAU Nora. Just fuck her.

Scarface lookin like a damn Fanboy & Chum Chum character & his boy over here lookin like Chode. Next.

UUUUUUUUUUGGGHHHHHGG.

Just. UAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHH. Bruh I will never understand who tf thought this shit was a good idea?! Like who the fuck, was drawing dis nigga. Drew DIS Sus af shit. LOOKED at dis shit. And said to deyself: "Yeah dats da Riddler aight". HELL TO THE NAH DAT AIN'T NO DAMN DAS A (dick) FIDDLER! HE LOOKIN SUS AS FUCK NOW WITH THEM TIGHT AS GREEN SPANDEX AND THAT DARK AS HELL EYELINER. Looking like gay Christmas elf! Looking like a gay ass ballay dancer with them Spider Gwen ballerina shoes. You can't dance for shit nigga! Yo shit is SOOO DAMN TIGHT like I can get a good sight and shape picture of yo "Question mark" I'm telling y'all. sSSSUUUSSSSSSS. Looking like a bigasss lima bean. Skinny ass Jack skeleton moFucka. Like. They did my boy Eddy so freakin dirty with this. My mans had class, style, a nice look, HAIR. Now he. Whateverthelivingfuckdisbaldasspeterpanlookinmofuckasupposestobe. And i hate how that's how he did be lookin in almost every new Batverse when why tho? Nigg(m)a look stupid as hell. How tf he expect to be tooken seriously dressed and lookin like dis ? If I saw dis fucker in real life and he threatens me, imma laugh at his ass and beat him with his cane. Get ya Richard from Allen Gregory looking ass away from me. I can't!

Bruh it don't look that much but they did my mans Harvey dirty too. LOOK AT MY MANS FACE. good half i mean. Yall nigs kno. THESE MUHFUCKERS STRIPPED HIM OF HIS PRETTYNESS! Man. Dis version of Harvey was a pretty muhfucka. You can't deny dat shit

Even when he became Two-Face he still got dat 1 side of pretty.  And that deep af panty soaking voice to go along w it. He dat half and half package. 

Now HE LOOK LIKE DIS

WHOEVER TF DID DIS NEED DEY ASS WHOOPED! SQUARE TF UP NOW. NIGGA LOOKS LIKE EYEBROWLESS VERSION OF DOC FROM SECRET SATURDAYS. FAT ASS BLOCK NOSE MUH FUCKA.  His eye looks like traingle with a Nike logo on top of it. Lookin like a poorly drawn Dwayne The Rock Johnson. And ya other half ain't lookin that good either. Dat 1 eyebrow putting Helga Pataki to shame! I mean the shit didn't look good before but it was somewhat tamed, now the shit looking like full grownass caterpillar. And that lip black as hell. Kno that side dirty as fuuhck!

I don't even know what tf I'm sposed to say about DIS except (kinky..)

Angelica pickles looking ass. Bigass blonde captain coconut looking ass hairstyle. Looking like a blonde creepy ass Wednesday Adams. Dem black as fuck Kim possible lips. She actually looking like a family guy character with that bigass head and small body. I SWEAR she ded looking like one of Stewie's ex's right now my dude! Got  tiny ass flat ass guitar chip shoes. Looks like sis wearing fucking Zippers as shoes. Sis got that "i got something planned fo yo ass" smile. Sis look like she plotting something or did some evil shit already.

. . .

Bros I'm sorry but I'm just as confused as you like. I can't find a single thing different about Harley. Like literally nothing. Her makeup at night be looking blue sometimes, looking like a fakeass Livewire, but nah. They didn't even touch homegirl. Why tf is Harley the only character that stayed the same?????! Niggas was playing favorites. They had plans for that ass since day one. They was probs like: "Aye y'all. DO NOT TOUCH HARLEY. SHE STAYS THE SAME!" "why?" "JUST LISTEN TO ME BITCH!" "Wha bout her mans?" "Oh hell yeah fuck his shit up!" ...sigh.. Yep. It's that time...

UaaaaaaAAAAAAAHHH what else is dere to be said about dis ugly ass nigga? Dis nigga look like Yakko Warner & Freakazoid's love child! Dis nigga look like a random Tiny toons or Animaniac character! With that dookie green shirt and flower. You and Riddler's gay ass both matching them Dexter's laboratory Gloves. Why tf yo eyes eyes black as fuck tho?! How tf does one do that to theyself?! Yo ass probably snorted some shit and ya shits expanded and that's prolly yo pupils with ya cracked out ass. Nigga don't even look like a clown no more. Hell Jared Leto Joker atleast had the lipstick down. Dis nigga got dem ashy ass lips hanging out. Nigga think he owning too. Nigga you don't own shit! Broke as hell now. And yo design broke too. Joker? Man more like Broker. Got dat fairly odd parents hair. Got that Cosmo and Wanda in one. Like bitch if you don't. Just like Riddler i can not take yo animaniac looking ass serious. You do not scare me bitch! Bye!

Now see dis? DIS is Aight! A lot more fitting and & faithful to the character. No over the fucking top redesign, you can actually tell it's the same damn character as before, a little bit of swag for personality

So that's the tea. Ivy & Croc are the only good rogue redesigns in the whole series, evBody else ugly as shit.

#excluding harley cus she didnt even go thru change #batman #dc #batman tas #batman tnba #joker #Harley Quinn #two face #riddler #poison ivy #bane #mad hatter #babydoll #scarecrow #scarface #Penguin #Oswald Cobblepot #harvey dent #mr freeze #victor fries #edward nygma #arnold wesker #pamela isley #waylon jones #clayface #Matthew hagan #jervis tetch

[demivampirew]

Keep Calm and go to London chapter 3

Tag list: Here’s the incredible people who showed me support (thank  you so much for that) and people who asked me to tag them too  ☺️   (I think I will write a few chapters of this story, if you want me to  tag you, tell me ☺️   ) @cavillanche​ @mary-ann84 @henry-owns-these-tatas @yespolkadotkitty @dancingwendigo​   constip8merm8  penwieldingdreamer iloveyouyen  littlefreya  wondersofdreaming alyxkbrl solariumss  sweetybuzz25 @thethirstyarchive​ @agniavateira​   @honeyloverogers​ @hell1129-blog​

Trigger warning: talking about low self-stem and body image issues.

The morning after you woke up exhausted, not just because of all the walking and the stunt practice you did the day before, but also because you had trouble sleeping because you could stop thinking about Henry. "It's ridiculous. I just met him, I cannot like him this much already." you thought, throwing your phone into the bed, after checking the selfie that you two took together that day, again. That's what you did all night long: you slept for like an hour or so, woke up, saw the photo, remember the day part by part and went back to sleep.

You had a work meeting that day. You swore that you were not there to work, but an old friend -acquaintance would be more accurate- found out that you were in London and call you to see if you could help him finish a few songs for an album. You accepted because he was a nice guy and because you enjoyed working with him in the past.

- Wow, I brought here because I thought that because of your breakup you would write some so "f-ck you" songs or sad songs, but they were pretty "I'm walking on sunshine" kind of type. - he said when was walking you to the door as you were leaving the studio. - Sorry, that was insensitive for me to say - he apologized.

-No worries. I guess you're right. - you replied, offering a sympathetic smile. " Oh, sh-t, what does that mean?" you thought.

Back at the hotel, you were about to take a bath and planning to go to bed and watch a movie when your phone started ringing. You check to see who was calling you and saw that was your friend.

- Hi girl! - you answered- What's up?

- Hi babe! - she replied- No much, just wondering why my friend had a date with my other friend and didn't bother to tell me about it.

- What?- you questioned confused and then you realized that she was referring to you hanging out with Henry yesterday - Oh, yeah...first of all, it wasn't a date, it was two new friends hanging out...and second, I'm sorry, I didn't know that I needed to ask you for permission to hang out with your friends.- you said playfully.

- Apologies accepted. No need for permission, just want to know when you're on a date, especially if it is with a friend of mine.

- I told you already, not a date. By the way, how did you know that we went on a dat... that we hung out together yesterday?- you asked confused

- Henry told me.

- Did he tell you? - you repeated still confused

- Yes. He mentioned after you left the party, he left right after you left because he wanted to get some rest because tomorrow you two were going to visit the set of The Witcher. And also, I call him too today, because I tried to talk to you but your phone was off apparently because I was directed to voicemail.

- Yes, I was working in some songs with a friend so a turned it off. Wait, you talked to Henry today?

- Yes. He basically told me the same that you did, that you were two friends hanging out and that had a great day.

- Yes, we did. - you agreed.

- Hey, by any chance ...- your friend started to ask you a question and then took a slight pause - do you have a crush on him?

"Oh, sh-t!...sh-t...sh-t! Was it too obvious? Did he asked her to ask me that?" you thought. You sighted before answering your friend question.

- Is it too obvious? He told you that, didn't he? He noticed that I starred at him like a creep and asked you to tell me that please don't do it in the future because he's no interested in me in that way, right? - you asked her

- So you do have a crush on him.-she repeated looking for confirmation

- Yes. I'm absolutely crazy about him, which is insane if you ask me... I mean, c'mon, I just met him two days ago, TWO DAYS! - you replied, almost screaming the last words searching for an affirmation of the insanity of your feelings.

- Y/N! - your friend screamed excited

- What? - you answered holding the tears for falling. You felt so stupid.

- He has a crush on you too - she told me excited

- What?! Did he tell you that?

- Not exactly with those words. Let me explain - she began - The day of the party after we left to the ladies room, he and Edgar started talking about you and how cool you are, and Edgar encouraged him to ask you out, but Henry thought that you were still dating you know who, and then Edgar told him that you were single  - and even show him the news of your breakup in his phone- but Henry still had doubts about asking you out because thought you may found it disrespectful that he was trying to get a date with you while you were dealing with something personal and might not be ready or might not be interested in going out with him at all. That's why Ed started to ask you all those questions when we got back, to see if you were ok to date, to convince Henry to ask you on a date and that's the reason why we left you two alone, so he would make his move. He didn't dare to ask you out directly, so he did it to hang out with you as a friend and then see. Today when we talked, he told me that he likes you, a lot, those were his exact words. I know that might not seem like it, but he's quite shy. He doesn't want to seem desperate, especially since he thinks that you want him only as a friend, so he will wait sometime before talking to you again.

You sat down on the edge of the bed while trying to process the information that your friend just gave you. He liked you too. It wasn't just you, he felt the same way about you. That thought makes you smile and your heart was beating so fast of excitement.

- So, you want me to call him and tell him to call you and ask you out? - she questioned

- No, I have another idea on the mind - you said playfully - By any chance, do you have his home address?

- Lucky for you, I do - she replied curiously - Why?

- I'll share my plans later, could you please send me the address?

- Sure, I'll send it to you via text.

- Great! Thanks a lot! Seriously! I got to go, talk to you tomorrow, ok? - you said while standing up and picking up some clothes and going to the bathroom to take a shower.

- Sure. Good luck with your plan! - she said and after saying goodbye you hung up the phone and ran into the bathroom.

You decided to put on a white dress with long sleeves and short to the knees, sexy but cosy for the cold weather. You also put another pair of comfortable boots and a camel colour blazer. You decided to continue your new trend of natural makeup look, with some foundation, pastel colour eyeshadow, eyeliner barely visible and mascara and your favourite nude lipstick - Ludwig of the line Kat Von D Beauty Everlasting Liquid Lipstick -.

Once you were outside his house, you walked to the front door and were greeted by barks. "Kal, his dog" you remembered. "He told me he's very friendly, relax" you remind yourself. You love dogs, but sometimes loves don't like strangers, and that's what you were to him. You knock on the door and heard a voice so deep and beautiful that gave you chills, a voice that only could belong to one person.

- Who is it?- Henry asked

- It's me, y/n- you replied.

- Oh...yeah, wait a minute, please. I'll look for the key. - he told you, for the tone of his voice you notice that he was surprised by your visit.

- Sure. No worries.

A moment later you heard the key turn on the door and this opened as Henry greeted you with a smile.

- I wasn't expecting company, sorry for the mess.- he said as he let you in.

- What are you talking about? Your house is lovely and very clean. - I assure him.

- Thank you. - he said - It's a lovely surprise to see you.

- Oh, yeah, sorry for the impromptu visit. Probably was not polite of me to show up without notice. - I apologized

- Don't worry, I'm delightfully surprise.- he affirmed.

- I just wanted to thank you for the lovely day that I had yesterday thanks to you. I brought you a gift - you said as you handed him a bag.

- Oh, thank you, you didn't have to.- he replied as he took the bag and opened. It had two packs of the finest Guinness beer and a box with some expensive swiss chocolate. - Thank you so much, this is amazing! - he said with excitement in his voice. You smiled happily because you knew that you choose the perfect gift for him.

- You're welcome. I'm really happy that you like it.

- I do a lot. Thank you. - He said and starred at you smiling for a moment, while you were thinking "how is it possible that this man likes me? He's so incredibly handsome" but at the same time, but the way he looked at you, you saw it, it was true, he likes you, you can see it now. He must have noticed that he was looking at you for a little too long so he blushed and started to act a bit nervous - You want something to drink?

- Tea would be great.

- Sure, I think I have tea somewhere. - he said laughing slightly - I don't drink tea, but sometimes, when I remember, I buy some for friends and family when they visit me.

- If you don't have tea, water will be fine. - you assure him.

He made his way to the kitchen and you decided to look around the living room. Before that, you pet Kal that, just like Henry said, was very friendly and anxious for the attention. In your tour on the living room, a blanket with the British flag on it caught your attention, and you put on a big smile thinking on how adorable it was that had that.

- You wanted something to remind you that you're from Britain in case that you forgot? - I said loudly so he could hear me from the kitchen.

- What?... oh, that - he said seeing the blanket as he approached you with a cup of tea that he handed you. - It was a gif from my brother.

- I love it. It's adorable. - you assure him and smile.

You took a sip of the tea and continue walking around, looking at pictures that he had all over the place.

- Is that your family?- you asked

- Yes. Those are my mom and dad - he said as he pointed at one photo; then he pointed at another - those are my brothers. This was taken on Christmas two years ago and I'm with my nephews and my niece.

He showed a couple more pictures of his family, one with his assistant and a few that he had with some close friends and then sat down on the couch. After a moment of silence, in which you were distracted looking at the blanket, you continue the conversation.

- You know, I'm thinking about moving to London.

- Really? - he asked curiously and trying not to sound way too excited

- Yes. I've always loved the city, but this last few days have been some of the best days of the last few years of my life. It's like I finally feel alive again. I get this homie vibe that I've got from LA in a long time.

- That's great! I mean, not that you went through something awful, but that you're feeling much better and that you like the city. I'd be great to have you closer. - as he was saying this he blushed - I mean, you always will have a friend to chat with when you need to - he offered and smiled.

- Thanks.- you smiled back.

(PS: chapter four will continue exactly where I left off 😉 )

#henry cavill #fanfiction #demivampirew #henry cavill x reader

[ushijimaenthusiast]

a smol iwasemi for iwas bday! semi pretends iwa is his bc to make another dude back off but it fails

[ao3]

Hajime considers himself a patient man.

He’s been best friends with Oikawa since they were kids, so he’s used to his flamboyant, eccentric, egotistical personality getting them into all sorts of shit whenever they’re together, but lately, it seems as though something is throwing Oikawa out of whack, and it’s driving Hajime crazy.

Like tonight: instead of serving Hajime the beer he asked for five minutes ago, Oikawa is standing a foot away from a couple further down the bar pretending to polish a glass as he eavesdrops on the sleazy guy spew disgusting pick-up lines on the clearly uninterested girl. He knows Oikawa is paying attention because he’s seen some horrible things happen while working behind the counter, but Hajime can plainly tell that the woman would be able to handle herself no matter what happened. Even Hajime wouldn’t approach her unless prompted.

Normally Hajime wouldn’t mind Oikawa being so observant of something that has the potential to be dangerous; he’d commend his friend instead of criticizing him. But tonight was supposed to be about him.

It’s his birthday! He was supposed to have a fun night out with his best friend while the two did something exciting and chaotic and stupid, not spend the night on his usual barstool watching as his best friend works.

Hajime knows he’s fine with Oikawa working this evening. He’s fine with them not having a weekend off together for the foreseeable future and he’s even fine with the fact that he’s once again at this stupid bar nursing a drink as a single topic of conversation is dragged out over twenty minutes because Oikawa keeps getting pulled away to serve other customers.

It’s fine.

Hajime also knows he’s allowed to be a little bitter over it all, and he’s fine with that, too.

After another handful of minutes have passed and Oikawa still hasn’t moved from his spot despite the woman leaving, Hajime decides to throw caution to the wind and reach over the counter to grab the closest thing he can. He’s not scared about repercussions since Oikawa’s brother is the owner and likes him more than he likes Oikawa.

Just as he stands and plants his chest against the counter to see what he can find, something bumps into him and has the edge digging sharply into his stomach, followed by something wet landing on his shoulder.

“Hey!” he coughs out, pushing off from the counter and spinning around to chew out whoever bumped into him, only to have the words die in his throat.

Hajime’s been around Oikawa too long to really ever be interested in pretty guys, but the man pressed up against him throws everything out the window. From his dip-dyed ashy blond hair curling softly around his ears, his narrowed eyes darkened with smeared eyeliner, his sneering lips glinting with something silver. Hajime is captivated by the expression that’s not directed at him, and it takes a moment for what’s happening to catch up with him.

There’s another man standing next to them, taller and bigger than Hajime and it has him leaning away, wondering what the hell is going on. He’s scowling and wiping liquid off his face, probably the remnants from the glass in Pretty Boy’s hand.

“And I told you it was none of your business! It doesn't matter what’s in my pants, no still means no you dipshit.”

God, even his voice is pretty. Hajime feels himself start to smile a little, wanting to hear more of it despite the hostility, but is forced back when the intruder leans in and Pretty Boy pushes him further into the counter.

He starts to open his mouth, but Pretty Boy interrupts, “If you don’t back off I’ll have my boyfriend kick the shit out of you.”

Hajime’s sure his eyebrows meet his hairline. And then disappear completely when Pretty Boy wraps his arm around Hajime’s waist.

The intruder stares Hajime up and down, sizing him up and thinking if he’d win a fight, but all Hajime can focus on is the warmth now pressed all against his left side, wondering if he should return the gesture and play along or politely back off, not wanting to get in the middle of this feud.

The longer he’s silent, the more the arm around him tightens and the more the intruder starts to sneer and puff out his chest, shoulders squaring back and head tilting him. Hajime suddenly doesn’t remember how to block a punch.

“If you throw one punch at my best friend I’ll shove this bottle so far up your ass they’ll have to break your rib cage to dig it out.”

They all turn to stare at Oikawa who’s brandishing a still-full bottle of Smirnoff as he glares at the intruder, his lips twisted up into a dangerous smirk. It’s a look Hajime has seen too many times to count and knows what’s about to happen.

He spins out of Pretty Boy’s arms and leans across the counter to whisper-shout at Oikawa. “If you get into another fight you’re gonna get fired, brother or not.”

Oikawa doesn’t take his eyes off the intruder, nor does he keep his voice low. “You underestimate my persuasion skills over my brother. Now, Mr. Neanderthal,” he directs at the intruder, “this isn’t the first time I’ve seen you push yourself onto nice people, so I’m only gonna ask you once. Leave my bar, or I’ll kick your ass.”

One glance over his shoulder at the intruder and Hajime knows what’s going to happen next. He knows his best friend enough that he will literally follow up with his threat, and Hajime has a second to decide if he needs to continue to intervene or just steer Pretty Boy out of harm’s way until everything’s over.

What Hajime did not expect was to end up in urgent care, the blond sitting next to him with one hand rubbing circles on his back and the other holding Hajime’s.

The cab ride had been a little blurry, Hajime more focused on the blood seeping from his scalp and the hands pushing him out the bar than what was really going on, Oikawa’s laughter trailing after them like a maniacal echo.

Pretty Boy took charge and Hajime let him, not paying much attention to anything except the tone of the man’s voice.

By the time they get to the urgent care, Hajime’s head is killing him and it seems as if the blood has slowed down, if it was even that bad to begin with. Pretty Boy does most of the paperwork, even going so far as to dig out Hajime’s wallet and search for an insurance card. Hajime keeps a close eye on him then, but Pretty Boy doesn’t even try to touch his cash or credit cards.

He sits with Hajime through the hour-long wait and through the twenty-minute doctor visit, detailing the events leading up to the visit as the doctor pulls shards of glass from Hajime’s scalp. He doesn’t need stitches, which is great, and he doesn’t have a concussion, which is even better. The news has Pretty Boy sighing in relief, throwing Hajime a beautiful tiny smile.

Hajime expects them to part ways after the exam, but Pretty Boy directs him to the nearest diner, and it’s not until they’re collapsing into a booth that Hajime realizes he’s exhausted, but can admit that it was nice being babied for a while.

He even tells Pretty Boy that, and it earns him a small laugh that has Hajime swooning. He wipes at his eyes, smearing his already smudged eyeliner, but it just adds another level of intrigue to him that has Hajime leaning further over the table as they start to talk.

The man’s name is Semi Eita, and by the time their drinks arrive, Hajime thinks he’s a little bit in love.

“It’s not the first night I’ve seen you there, ya know,” Semi says after the waiter brings their meals. He grabs a fry and points it at Hajime before plopping it into his mouth. Hajime’s eyes track the movement, catching another glint of silver on Semi’s tongue that’s quickly hidden behind pink lips. He almost can’t take his eyes off Semi’s lips, following the curve of the cupid’s bow and trailing along the edge until he’s met with the spiral piercing curving at the bottom corner of his mouth. It’s captivating, and Hajime finds it hard to focus whenever it moves.

A fry hits him in the face, startling Hajime back into his seat. Semi gives him a curious look before his lips stretch in a grin that he tries to duck and hide.

His earlier words catch up with Hajime. “Why haven’t you approached me before then?”

Semi shrugs, not meeting Hajime’s eyes. He plops another fry into his mouth and takes a moment to answer. “I kind of thought you were with that bartender since I see you talkin’ with him all the time. Or you were straight since I’ve only seen you with girls hanging off your arm.”

Hajime snorts at that, quickly shaking the image of him and Oikawa out of his head. “I might swing for the right girl, but uh, I’m pretty gay. A lot of them pull a stunt like you did tonight, and I go with it because there are some sleazy assholes out there. And Oikawa’s my best friend. He’s more like an annoying brother I wish I could auction off for all the trouble he’s caused me.”

Semi winces at the jab, but Hajime continues, smiling. “He couldn’t get the night off, so I figured it’d be better to spend my birthday at the bar instead of home alone, even though he still ignored me all night because he was working.” Hajime rubs at his eyes, suddenly realizing how pathetic his idea for the evening was.

Semi hisses, and when Hajime peeks through his fingers at the other man, he catches a look of pity. “And I went and made everything worse for you.”

Hajime shakes his head, lowering his hands and offering a hopefully charming smile.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty happy with how my evening is going.”

Semi’s eyes widen, and the very top of his cheeks flush. Hajime finds it absolutely adorable.

“Even though you got into a bar fight because of a total stranger and ended up in urgent care because someone broke a bottle over your skull?”

Hajime laughs, nods.

“I met a really pretty guy who’s interested in me and took care of me. I’m interested in him too, and I’m hoping this night ends with me getting his number and a plan for a second date.”

Hajime watches as Semi's cheeks darken, and the very tip of his nose starts to pinken. Hajime wants to lean over the table and kiss him.

“Well shit,” Semi coughs, obviously flustered. Hajime grins even wider, finally giving in enough to reach out and gently grasp one of Semi’s hands, tangling their fingers together to reassure him. Hajime’s sure that despite the alt look, Semi might be on the softer side.

Hajime can’t wait to get to know Semi Eita, can’t wait to find out a million mundane things about the man who started a fight just so he could get to know Hajime. Maybe it’s a little weird or unorthodox, but it’s also something new and exciting. It’s the beginning of something that Hajime is actually looking forward to, and if the pleased and longing look in Semi’s eyes is anything to go by, it’s safe to say the other man is excited too.

Hajime’s glad he’s a patient man, because he hopes this will take a while.

#haikyuu!! #iwaizumi hajime #semi eita #oikawa tooru #iwasemi #writing #meet cute

[fanficwriter013]

The Tower: The Queen of Asgard - 30

The Tower: The Queen of Asgard An Avengers Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Pairing:  Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 1908

Warnings: None

Synopsis: The twins are now three and while the Avengers know that Clint and Thor are the biological father’s none of them know or care which blond, blue-eyed baby is related to which man.  When Riley gets the power to control wind and it becomes evident that she is the heir to the Asgardian throne, Elly, Steve, Thor, and Tony take the twins to Asgard to train her.

Not every Asgardian is happy with their king’s choice of consort, nor the impurity of the heir’s blood.  While others expect Thor to make things more official.  What’s clear is, the role of Queen of Asgard is not easily filled.

Author’s Note:  Written with @avengerscompound​

Chapter 30: Preparations

Loki burst into my room early the next morning to wake me up.  I had been curled up tightly into Clarke’s side overnight, apparently, I’d started conditioning to move in close to warm bodies in my bed.  I jumped at the sound of Loki shouting at me and sat up quickly while Clarke just blinked around the room bemused.

“You need to get up!”  She barked.  “You!”  She pointed at Clarke.  “There is breakfast out at the dining room.”

“I don’t get to eat?”  I asked.

“You are being cleansed.  You shall eat after the bonding.  At the feast.  When you have been bathed you will be given a soup made of herbs.”  Loki explained, impatiently.  “Now hurry up.  I have too many things to do to be babysitting you.  Get up and go to your bathroom.  Now!”

I scrambled out of bed as Loki swept back out of the room.  Clarke got out of bed slowly and stretched.  “You think they’ll give your scalp a good scrub?  Get rid of those impure thoughts?”

“If they get rid of those, there won’t be any of me left,” I joked and we both started laughing.

“Okay, you go get cleansed.  I’m gonna eat.  I’ll meet you back here to dress,” Clarke said.

I should have guessed by the fact that Loki kept saying cleansed that it wasn’t a simple bath.  I was painted in thick, warm mud from head to toe and then wrapped in leaves and left for around half an hour.  After that, I was hosed off and given an enema.  They did hair removal everywhere except my eyebrows (which they shaped) and scalp.  Something I normally didn’t really do.  I was then taken into the large tub with four attendants and they started to scrub me down.

The water was hot and pungent.  I couldn’t quite place the scent of the soaps they were using, but they were floral and slightly woody.  They used large scrubbing brushes on my body and scrubbed my skin to the point that any part of my skin that wasn’t covered in the henhalda artwork, turned bright pink.  They washed my hair.  First with a soap.  Then with hot oil that they left in for a while, before scrubbing it with soap again and finally a cream-like substance I assumed was the Asgardian equivalent of conditioner.

When they seemed happy with how clean I was, I was led out of the bath and dried off and oil was rubbed into my skin.  By the time they were done, my skin glowed and my hair was as soft and shiny as it had ever been.  The cleaning had done something to the Henhalda too.  It was brighter and slightly reflective, and there were parts that now shimmered like they were alive.

I was given a thin robe and allowed to return to my room.  Clarke was already in there, along with Katveil and another 4 women.  Two were older, while two were around Katveil’s age.

Clarke was sitting on a large, comfortable-looking chair that had not been there before and three of the women were working on her.  One doing her hair, one her nails and one giving her a pedicure.  “Wow, they sure did clean you, huh?”  Clarke said.

“Oh, yeah.  Inside and out.”  I said, making Clarke pull a face.  “Morning, Kat,” I added smiling at her.

“Good morning, Elly,” Katveil said.  “I’ve come to do any touch-ups on the art.”

I nodded and the two of us moved behind a screen that had been set up for dressing.  “Are you excited?”  She asked as I dropped my robe and she began to look me over closely, touching up any spot she wasn’t happy with.

“Oh yeah.  A little freaking out.  It’s a big deal.”  I answered.  “You know, the big ceremony.  Living longer.  New powers.  Being cleansed.”

“I’d be nervous too,” Katveil said.

“You’ll be pleased to know that Hulk did great with the Henhalda,” Clarke said.  “I saw Jax at breakfast.  Well everyone really.  Loki is going to have the kids with her all day.  They’ll get ready with her and Thor.  They have no idea what’s going on but they’re super excited about all the things that are happening.”

“Oh, that’s good.  I’m glad they’re with one of their parents,” I said.

“Yeah.  They’re good.  Hulk has been in control since yesterday.  He fell asleep at one point while they were doing Henhalda.  Jax said he plans to stay in control until after the bath.  So it’s probably Bruce now, or Bruce soon,” Clarke said.

“Oh good.  There were definitely parts of the cleansing Bruce would not have enjoyed.” I said as Katveil turned me around.

“So I guess you get the nails and hair done next and then we dress,” Clarke said.

“Elly also has to drink the broth that was made for her. But that is essentially correct.”  Katveil said.  She stood back up and picked up my robe, holding it open for me.  “I am done.  Just stay standing for a little while.”

I nodded and slipped the robe back on.  “Thank you again.  You made the whole process very enjoyable.”

She hugged me and wished me good luck before leaving me with Clarke and the other women.  Just after she left Loki came into the room, carrying a bowl with the twins marching after her.

“Mommy!”  The twins, cried, breaking formation and running at me.  I crouched down and hugged them both.

“Hello, my little terrors.  Are you being good for Auntie Loki?”  I asked.

“Yes,” they both said in unison.

“D’joo know dat everyone has dis on dem?”  Pietro asked, scrunching his fingers on my arm where he could see the Henhalda.

“I know.  It’s pretty isn’t it?”  I asked.  The twins had both been fascinated by the artwork when they had seen me last night and they both had made up a story to go along with the bits they could see.

“Wiwl it go away?”  He asked.

“Eventually.  It’s just a special thing for today,” I explained.

“Okay, my darlings.  We have to take breakfast to all your parents.  Say goodbye to your mother.”  Loki said, with much more patience in her voice than when she’d come to wake me up.

“Otay,” they both said and hugged me again.

I stood when they let me go and Loki handed me the bowl.  “Drink all of it.  When it is time for the ceremony I shall return to take you personally with the twins.  Do not go with anyone else.” 

“Thank you, Loki,” I said.

“I shall be glad when this is over.  I need a vacation,” she said, playfully.  It made me chuckle and she shook her head and left the room followed by the twins.

“Did Loki…?”  Clarke asked looking from the door back to me.

“I think she did.  I’m her favorite,” I joked.

Clarke snorted.  “Don’t let her hear you say that.”

I drank the soup.  It was pungent and tasted really medicinal and did nothing for the fact I was ravenous.  I was then bustled into the chair where my hair was cut and styled.  My nails were painted and my makeup was done.

When it was done my nails were painted with the same iridescent oil slick style the fabric of my dress was and decorated with Celtic style knotwork in gold.  My eyeliner was done in a cat-eye style with gold and purple eyeshadow, and my lips were painted a deep red.  I had my hair braided in a thick, loose braid with a gold and silver hair vine adorned with crystals wound through it.

The women left and the tailors bustled in immediately helping both myself and Clarke into our dresses.  Clarke's was a shade of lavender to offset her eyes, in satin with ornate silver armor that sat on her hips, chest, and shoulders.  The skirt ended at her knees and she wore knee-high black boots with the same silver plating on the sides and toes.

“Wow, Clarke,”  I said as the women helped me into my dress.  “You going to be my bridesmaid or security detail?”

“I can be both,” she teased.

They did a last few adjustments on the dress and then moved me in front of the mirror while they fit the gold diadem and veil in place.  I couldn’t even believe I was looking at myself.  I looked like a queen from a fantasy novel, dressed in shimmering liquid color and lace and painted in ornate detail.  At my forehead sat a dark opal that shimmered with blue, red, and green and matched the rest of my outfit.

“God damn, Elise.  You are a queen,” Clarke cursed.  “Look at you.”

I smiled.  “Well, at least I look the part.”

“Good luck to you, my lady,” one of the tailors said bowing slightly.  “I shall fetch the lady Loki.”

The tailors left and Clarke came over and rubbed my arm.  “Ready to become Mrs. Odinson?”  She teased.

“That’s not how it works here,” I deadpanned.

She started laughing just as Loki came in followed by the children.  She had a floor-length gown in her usual dark green and gold.  The gold mostly forming panels around the bust but also running down her arms in elaborate scrollwork.  She had smokey eyes and black lips, and on her head, she wore her horned crown.

Riley was wearing a white dress with a gold sash around the middle, while Pietro had white leggings and a gold tunic.  They both had flowers in their hair.  “Wow, mommy, you wook so beudifuwl,” Pietro said, awestruck.

“Thank you, honey.  You look very pretty too.  So does your sister.”  When I said that, Riley pulled a face.

“Are you ready?”  Loki asked.

I nodded and our small group made its way down towards the main hall.  Though we took a less direct path than we normally would take.  “I’m taking you to the front entrance,”  Loki explained as we walked.  “Thor will be waiting at the throne with the High Priest.  I shall go and stand with him.  When you hear the crowd quiet and the music start-up you will proceed down the main aisle to the throne.  Do you think you can handle that?”  She asked.

“I think I can do that.”  I agreed.  “What about the others?”

“They will be entering from different doors.  You will take the main one because you are the mother of the heir, and you will be accompanied by your children,” Loki explained.  “You should attempt to time your procession that you and the others all arrive at the same time.”  She stopped when you reached the doors and turned to look at me, her face set in deadly seriousness.  “Elise, when you go on your journey, remember who you are and what they mean to you.  Do not get lost in the fear of the unknown.”

I nodded.  “I will.”

“Good,” she said and reached to touch my arm before pulling her hand away and saying something in Asgardian to the guards by the door.  When she turned back she addressed the children.  “Alright, my darlings.  Take care of your mother.  I shall see you very soon.”

“We wiwl Aundie Woki,” they both echoed.  Loki nodded and slipped through a small side door.

I took a deep breath and looked over at Clarke and waited for the signal.

//NEXT

#the avengers #steve rogers #bucky barnes #tony stark #natasha romanoff #bruce banner #clint barton #wanda maximoff #sam wilson #avengers fanfic #avengers x OFC #steve rogers x OFC #bucky barnes x OFC #tony stark x OFC #natasha romanoff x OFC #wanda maximoff x OFC #clint barton x OFC #bruce banner x OFC #sam wilson x OFC #stucky #clintasha #Thor #science bros #Thor X OFC #fanfic #fanfiction #smut #avengerscompound #the tower

[smartguyreviewed]

2x4 - Dateline

Original air date: Oct 1, 1997

Anyone who was holding their breath for me to get back to this, thank you. Been going through a lot like most people right now but I had to remember this blog is a good distraction because I get to write about one of my favorite shows growing up. Anyways, enjoy. :) 

Let’s talk about cock-blocking or to be more gender inclusive...actually, I can’t think of a term similar that utilizes both a male and female part. Anyhoo, let’s talk about it.

I’ve done it (unintentionally). You’ve done it. We’ve all had it done to us as well. Like the night you finally got a chance to be alone with your dipshit crush and your annoying friend tried to insert herself until she finally realized what was going on and left you two alone so you could have your first kiss ever at age 19.

TJ is an extreme cock blocker. He will break your shit up and then pout because he’s still just a kid. Normally, TJ only wants to punish Marcus by enacting this cruel tactic but in this episode, he shifts gears to the person who is both a mother and father to him: Daddy Flody.

We begin this episode at a supermarket. Tj is checking out cereals and Floyd is checking out dat ass.

TJ catches Floyd staring and in his precocious little way, starts asking him questions about women. It kind of reminds me of Frank from Milk Money. which is a horrible movie that I adore and you should watch it because despite a little kid befriending a prostitute, it’s still a decent 90s coming-of-age tale. And Alex DeLarge is in it.

After TJ makes his dad sweat further by asking what body type gets his penis erect, TJ comes to the conclusion that Floyd is lonely and could probably benefit from some female companionship.

Cut to TJ on an unrealistically chatty PC barking at TJ to fill in the boxes for Floyd. I don’t know about you, but if my computer kept talking to me, I’d throw it out of the fucking window. I am so glad websites that talk at you are obsolete. Apparently, this computer is also sentient because TJ pauses for just a moment too long when Marcus comes in and this impatient computer bitch asks for the rest of the info in a more demanding tone.

But because TJ was distracted, he inputs his own height instead of his dad’s and the computer announces that she’s transferring him to their little people’s section. Hey, they gotta find love too!

Marcus is skeptical of why TJ is trying to set Floyd up. Just then, Yvette walks in and asks who is using her eyeliner to write down phone messages, which I totally expect a straight man to do. After fessing up, Marcus asks Yvette to dissuade TJ from setting up his dad. Yvette then uses her soon-to-be psychology degree on Marcus and reasons that he might be a little salty because he doesn’t want another woman to replace his mom. But no, Marcus is a teenage boy and completely lacking depth until certain episodes call for it. Instead, he says he just wants the car on weekend evenings so he can try to bang his latest girl of the week. Of course, he could just be deflecting to avoid a heavy conversation but I’m gonna go with the former because Marcus is the horniest boy on the show.

Yvette decides to help TJ since Floyd has few dating options. Her plan is to beef up his personal ad by making him younger and a fan of soul food and Maya Angelou. Marcus is still not with the shits and says that nobody wants to date an “old guy with three kids.” Completely forgetting about the fact that his dad is an attractive man, this happens instead:

TJ and the gang are now making final cuts on the 130 prospects Floyd had. I mean, that’s great and all but I’m sure at least half of those women were catfishes. Then again, in the 90s, maybe there was more legitimacy since there wasn’t enough technology to hide behind? I dunno. But Floyd definitely has some options.

While deliberating who will receive the clock from Floyd, Marcus makes what would be considered a transphobic comment questing if some of them really are women and how he doesn’t want Floyd to end up like Eddie Murphy. Mo, on the other hand is questing if this is even legal. Mo is a teenage boy and is probably likening it to what Tinder now is: a place to meet horny individuals.

Yvette thinks the ladies are good picks but then begins nitpicking their flaws, among one of them being that one of the ladies has breast implants. Because women who get surgeries to help boost their self esteem apparently don’t deserve love? Yvette is such a hypocrite as we’ll see in the future. Mo then begins taking the rejected pics because he loves older women, especially ones with perceived low self esteem. Just then, Floyd comes in the room and the gang has to cover up their dirty work. Floyd makes a bad joke and then dips out.

They eventually settle on a light-skinned natural woman named Jamie. They agree to meet at the grocery store, sot hat’s where we end up. Marcus is acting like he’s never seen pretty girls outside of school and leaves to spit game at women who just wanna be left alone so they can buy their frozen pizza and wine in peace.

Jamie sees who she thinks is her suitor and immediately is pissed because she, you know, thought she’d be meeting Floyd and not a little boy. Yvette comes over to smooth things over and convinces Jamie to meet Floyd. Well, TJ’s cute face convinced her after she was understandably freaked out. They go to meet Floyd. 

Jamie shows up and explains what happened and that she was pre-screened to make sure she wasn’t a guy. Floyd actually even gives her an up and down look before she says she passed! Pretty sure this also wouldn’t go over well today. Jamie and Floyd, however, hit it off and leave to go on a date. When they get back, Yvette and TJ are spying on the new couple to see how it went. Floyd was actually bigging up TJ and talking about how smart he is to Jamie when they got in. Aww. Floyd is proud of his son for hooking him up. Yvette is noticeably annoyed at how he gets all of the credit, but I mean, it was his idea. Yvette just helped him out. 

Upon completion of this totally selfless act to get his father some love, TJ is happy at first. Yay TJ! You’re on the right track to becoming a thoughtful human be--

Sike! TJ immediately regrets this decision once he realizes that his father having a personal life means that he won’t see him as much. TJ has a basketball game coming up that Floyd won’t be able to attend now. Yvette offers to take him but it’s not the same because Yvette is a girl and girls aren’t fun. And just like that, TJ the petty, cock-blocking asshole comes back.

The next day, TJ and Floyd are playing basketball when Jamie comes home. Floyd invites her to play but TJ is all like “bitch, wait your turn” and then Floyd puts her on TJ’s team. She then bribes TJ with the food she’s about to cook for them. He agrees but then Jamie and Floyd start flirting because duh. TJ leaves in a jealous fit, upset that this woman he hooked his father up with has the gall to want to spend time with him. He simulates what he wants to do to her body on a bag of Funions.

I have to say though, how long was the frame of this episode? Days? Weeks? Jamie has essentially become their stepmom. She’s even giving Marcus advice on how to treat a girl like a human being instead of a meat popsicle with titties. Yvette and Marcus then leave, allowing Jamie and Floyd their Blockbuster and Chill time with The Preacher’s Wife.

But TJ is a boner detector because as soon as Jamie and Floyd are about to mash faces, TJ whimpers for his pa because he doesn’t feel good. We think Floyd banished him to his room but then TJ comes over and pushes the two would-be lovers apart so he can ruin their night. Jamie eventually decides to leave, even though it’s clear she was holding out in case she could get a piece of Floyd but TJ completely squashed that possibility. Floyd actually whines when Jamie says she’s leaving. Aww. Floyd is lonely. Does TJ care? Of course not. 

TJ sounds perfectly fine when he says he’s sorry he ruined the night. Father and son decide to just watch the movie together instead.

The next day at school, Marcus is spitting his game at the girl he went on a date with. Turns out, treating women like actual people has been working well for him! He’s even going on a second date. Yvette comes by to let TJ know that she’s picking him up again. TJ is, of course, pissed because Jamie had come over to the house the night before, albeit dick-less. Yvette has to explain to TJ that when you date someone, the goal is to see them frequently and that he’s the reason their last date sucked. She then shatters Marcus’s dreams by letting him know that Floyd is taking his car on his date. Guess Marcus is gonna have to make out on the bus.

TJ’s lips are all puckered because he’s losing his father to another woman. He’s so distressed that he actually picks a fight with a senior. Mo steps in and literally drags TJ home. No, seriously. He carried TJ like a bag of groceries all the way to the Henderson house during school. Then he transformed into a therapist to get to the root of TJ’s outburst. This is during school hours. Mo skipped school to bring TJ home and give Floyd advice. Mo is amazing.

TJ is playing basketball with himself when Floyd comes in and then he spills that he’s sick of Jamie. Floyd reminds TJ that he’s the one who set them up and I guess TJ didn’t know things would actually change. Now would have been a good time to mention if he feels some way about another woman besides Yvette playing a maternal figure in the wake of his mother’s never explained death. But Floyd does a good job as usual and says this is temporary because when TJ is a teenager, he won’t want anything to do with Floyd. TJ finally stops being a prick and Floyd offers to be careful about how he schedules his time and then continues the basketball game he let Jamie interrupt previously. Aww Floyd. Too bad TJ is probably going to hold onto this for a while because he was giving his dad a lot of shit in the end credits. This isn’t even the last time he does this to Floyd and we never see Jamie again, so I guess it’s safe to assume that TJ killed Jamie. 

Things I noticed:

- Can we just take a moment to appreciate how hot Floyd is? How could Marcus ever think his dad wouldn’t be able to attract women?

- This brilliant cover for the gang if Floyd came in during the date deliberation:

- Marcus doesn’t want Floyd to go out on dates because he wants the car to himself on the weekends. He says if Floyd starts going out, he’s making out in the back of the bus. Yvette then says, “No, thanks to Rosa Parks, you can make out anywhere on the bus.” Brilliant retort. I really hand it to the writers of this show.

#smart guy #floyd henderson #tahj mowry #marcus henderson #jason weaver #essence atkins #Yvette Henderson #disney #mo tibbs #omar gooding #TJ henderson