#dick jokes

[that-gay-jedi]

Is that a lightsaber in your pocket or did your penis just cut my fucking hands off?

#lightsaber #star wars #dick jokes #duels #shitpost

[spitblaze]

See, the problem with wanting to fuck an elf is that people underestimate their stamina. Like sure the average elven top would probably tap out before a dwarf but the bottoms? The bottoms can go for days. Months, even. If you want to ruin some elf hole you have to commit. If you run out of steam after three hours they'll act like you stuck it in for two minutes and gassed out. The most reasonable way for a short-lived race to fuck an elf is with at least three other people to tag in and a full week off work.

#spitblaze says things #dick jokes #dgmw elven tops still go for longer tban humans #but dwarven thighs can bend steel. its just how theyre built

[icemankazansky]

Top Gun + Lucky Number Slevin

#top gun #top gun: maverick #lucky number slevin #incorrect top gun #incorrect top gun quotes #incorrect icemav quotes #icemav #iceman x maverick #top gun og #top gun 1986 #language warning #dick jokes #tom cruise #maverick mitchell #val kilmer #iceman kazansky #lucky number slevin is in my top ten favorite movies of all time and if you haven't seen it why #my gifs

[trickytrick]

insert dick joke

#fall out boy #pete wentz #fob #patrick stump #fob fanart #pete wentz fanart #fall out boy fanart #fall out boy patrick #fall out boy pete #dick jokes #joe trohman #andy hurley

[thatmemeguy89]

If 3 inches is big then this is totally me

#memesdaily #spicy memes #funny memes #meme page #meme lord #memedaddy #meme #dankest memes #memes #dank memes #sex memes #dick jokes #follow me #follow #fyp #tumblr fyp #shlong #back pain

[everyone-is-emptyy]

#everyone is empty #no sex life #hot girl shit #femcel #ace memes #dick jokes #girlblogging #ace sapphic #girly things #asexual humor #asexual stuff #asexual things #asexual problems #asexual jokes #asexual memes #girlboss #tumblr girls #dark memes #asexual #asexual thoughts #funny gay #funny girl

[frownyalfred]

Imagine some inane, extravagant gala where Bruce is in full Brucie™ mode

someone complains about the “dick measuring” contest and Bruce frowns, looks down, and then goes, with much confusion:

“But…Dick is at home? In bed?”

#idk why this is the funniest thing to me rn but it is #it’s said like the vine guy #bruce wayne #batman #dc #dick grayson #dick jokes #he makes a ‘duck’ joke at every gala just to see Lex Luthor’s head explode

[dduane]

I couldn't believe you got a Vulcan dick joke past Pocket's censors. :) "There is nothing little about my husband."

Well, editorial "censorship" by the publisher during the period when I was working was absolutely nil. Occasionally news would come down from Paramount about something in a given chapter that didn't work for them, and naturally you'd address that problem if it happened. But (for me at least) such occurrences were rare beyond rare.

...And that said: the dick joke was fairly obscure in its, well, dickishness. Amanda could have meant all kinds of things by "nothing little." By and large, those too young to understand it will have it go over their heads... and those old enough to get it will perhaps snicker a little, and appreciate the  moment.

...So this is one of those "honi soit qui mal y pense" kinds of line, and comes (if necessary) with a certain amount of plausible deniability (and potential critic-shaming) attached. "Oh my goodness, that's the first thing your mind jumped to on seeing that line? Tsk tsk..."

...Just another example of how unreliable narration can be executed at the auctorial meta level. :)

(ETA: And also, yet another sign that one of the more effective kinds of writing is the kind where the writer is having fun and amusing themselves, and allowing that amusement to bleed onto the page when it serves the plot and/or character interactions for it to do so.)

#Star Trek #dick jokes

[prettyboynightwing]

I only wanted two things from the Batfam content in the new season of the Harley Quinn show: (1) for Nightwing to say fuck at least once, and (2) for someone to make a Dick joke.

Spoiler Alert: I already got what I wanted, plus more

#harley quinn animated series spoilers #nightwing #dick grayson #batfam #harlivy #harley quinn #poison ivy #Richard my beloved drama queen #he takes after his old man Brucie #harley quinn animated series #can’t want to see how I stay winning this season #dick jokes #harley quinn show #harley quinn spoilers #harley x ivy #hbo max #harley quinn series #harley quinn season 3 #batman #bruce wayne #damian wayne #robin #batgirl #barbara gordon #alfred pennyworth #harley quinn the animated series

[spitblaze]

Pet peeve of mine is when people comment shit like 'uuuh that's not how that works' on weird hentai. Like wow I had no idea thanks for the insight I had no idea the human body isn't actually capable of producing Olympic swimming pools worth of cum. Like what are you doing here man

#spitblaze says things #nsft #dick jokes #uh. idk what else to tag this as

[witchfinderlieutenanttable]

The art:

The artist:

Gojo be like:

#gojo satoru #jjk gojo #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #haha funny joke #jujutsu gojo #I'm immature enough to laugh at it #jjk satoru #gojo being a brat #poor nanami #gojo is my spirit animal #dick jokes

[proserpine-in-phases]

This is what tumblr polls are made for

#crap #dick jokes

[thatmemeguy89]

I wish

#memesdaily #spicy memes #funny memes #meme page #meme lord #memedaddy #memes #meme #dankest memes #dank memes #sex memes #dick memes #dick jokes #cock tease #follow me #follow #fyp #tumblr fyp #shitpost

[yesicanbelieveitsnotbutter]

phalloplasty call that brain surgery the way i be thinking with my dick wahoo

#shitpost #ftm memes #dick jokes #trans man #phalloplasty #things that are poems #fight me #trans #transgender #trans ftm #transition #bottom surgery #trans masc #trans male

[butchboybisexual]

i tried to make a joke about "what if neon genesis evangelion was called neon penisis evangelion" but i was hit with a wave of migraine induced confusion/disorientation and this was all i managed to get out

#spoonie #migraine #multiple sclerosis #penis typo #neon genesis evangelion #nge #dick jokes

[theomnicode]

Saitama and Genos are just hopelessly baffling to me

As someone who has had a Significant other for 12+ years going or longer now, it is absolutely baffling to me how Saitama and Genos are somehow MORE involved than WE ARE in this intimate way that they're always joined at the hip, yet not physically or romantically involved somehow. And just as domestic and domestically intimate as actually involved, married couples.

Genos literally fetches Saitama's heart underwear boxers and puts them outside the bathroom so he can dress up after a bath. Genos would probably jump into the bath if it had room in it. Genos legit stared at Saitama wearing a tiny towel getting a massage from massage chair.

Genos has expressed in meta that he 100% thinks Saitama's consciousness and his body are beautiful, ergo he's about as attracted as cyborg who thinks his sensei is not interested and who's still figuring out his own emotions can be.

The only problem seems to be that Saitama and his emotions need a light switch put into ON position.

I can also count like minimum 4 dick jokes made about Saitama eating phallus shaped food objects and awakening libido joke in which Genos gut headbutts to boot, from the top of my head. Fucking bananas and popsicles man, one being anime-only addition. I can't believe it took me this long. Screw Metal bat making dick jokes, Saitama eating them is where it's at.

And the longest fry too. Saitama, not inside a family restaurant damnit!

Oh wait, Genos stole the fry, I guess he's the inside joke. The latex glove examination on the fry does not escape me either. Nor does the OVA episode theme.

And how come Saitama is comfortable lounging around in pyjama bottoms 5 days after Genos moved in when Genos is obviously drawing him reading manga? He's self-conscious about his bald head and self-image otherwise but not this?

Something shifted though, because Saitama actually held Genos physically close for the majority of 169.

Progress!

ONE is writing the slowest of slow burns in all of fiction. Within the time duration of mere 6 months in universe. It's gonna take another 7 years isn't it?

Come on man.

I can't make this shit up even if I tried.

How obvious can a parallel get?

Like how the other brown bear protects the smaller, white coloured and more vulnerable bear from the rain. Like how Genos rushed to Saitama's aid and protects his vulnerable emotions, his love for other beings (like his love for pets) from melancholy.

To his beloved's aid.

And he will find him before the stars do. Stars is the universe, ergo it's OPM God, who is also trying to prey on his emotional vulnerabilities. Long as Saitama only shows his emotional weakness to him and comes back home to him, his safe haven, he'll be fine.

It's not a coincidence that in the OVA, Bang had been thinking about 200 different ways how to take down Saitama when his guard was down. When Bang is one of the identities God has assumed to lure in emotionally vulnerable Garou.

Even without a map to the place where I'll return The heat of your heartbeat is guiding me The arrow of that thought is flying straight ahead Even if it's far away.. When we reach our hands out, the bond teaches us that kindness is strength That is what's important to have for living That's why I'll be back I'll be back to right here

Saitama: That’s not the point... I have the feeling that things like a heart to heart interaction, sharing an umbrella, warmth, are all things broken away in my life. Other people can have things like big events and circumstances happening, romances and such bringing happiness in their daily lives. I have the feeling something broke and that sweet-like fluffy, nice stuff just fell right off from me. That's what I meant.

Saitama: Genos, look, have you ever seen a hero anime without a love interest in it? Genos: I don't remember watching a lot of anime in the past.. Why do you ask? Saitama: Well, we're heroes, right? We're working and living as such. And yet, why are we indifferent towards things like love interests or girlfriends? In some way it seems obvious and logical, but is it really ok? Are you ok with reality being so much harder than fiction?

I can't make this shit up man.

I will be forever malding if ONE is writing some kind of unrequited love scenario. That would just be cruel. I just want them to be wholesome together like fate intended. ;_;

(Genos gets so jealous on the cd drama lmao)

(awakening libido is from rush of hormones and neurotransmitters like dopamine and his instinctive drives and desires jumpstarting on his younger body when his future self regained homestasis and connected the psyche)

#opm #one punch man #saitama #genos #saigenos #genosai #dick jokes #libido #opm meta #slow burn