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#extremely funny bit but also what if it killed me
misc-obeyme · 2 days
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Thinking about petty Mc...
What are you getting us this year for our birthday Mc?
Nothing.
..huh?
Nothing, except for Mammon, asmo, and purgatory hall y'all are getting anything.
Why?
Diavolo knew belphie would kill me, and let him, so did Barbatos. Lucifer tried to kill me multiple times not to mention his own brother and a young angel. Levi almost killed me over a movie series, Satan got mad cause I didn't want to make a pact with him, beel tried eating me alive, belphie, well I'm sure you know.
Do you need more? I can get into specifics.
No, that's quite alright...
Ok
As you can imagine Lucifer's pride was extremely damaged after this. Belphie was no wear to be seen, the fridge was emptied quicker than usual, Levi stayed in his room longer than normal, Satan won't come out of his room, and diavolo and barbatos have been awfully quiet lately...
I'm done for now
Bows for barb
Hmm I dunno is it petty to be upset over your life being threatened (and in one instance actually taken, resurrected or not)?
I'm kinda with MC on this one.
I think that's why a lot of us tend to think of our MCs as going through more intense reactions to those exact events.
Don't get me wrong, generic OM MC is absolutely the love of my life, but they can roll with anything. It's funny but also like what are you doing there lil sheepie??
Anyway, let those demons stew about things for a bit.
Then again, when I think about it in terms of my actual self instead of my MC, I'm like noooo forgive them all! Maybe I'd feel differently about it if they weren't fictional lol.
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xiewho · 27 days
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every time a fantasy high character makes a horrifying body modification a fanartist's art program crashes mid-drawing somewhere. what do you mean his maximum legend tattoo is in roboto
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the-acid-pear · 2 years
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Some headcanons <33
Edit: i want to formally apologize for calling Pablito cis, i was wrong.
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trophygony · 1 year
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iruma your butler gnc af twirls hair
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pepprs · 2 years
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kind of amazing that i get down on myself for having impostor syndrome and feeling constantly stupid and naive and radiating insecurity about being young all the time when actually there is a completely explainable reason for it which is that i live in this house 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
#groaning and laughing over liz memes with my siblings and explaining to my parents why ppl are doing this / why ppl hate her and#are celebrating her death and they start attacking me for relaying the information (and agreeing with it ♥️) and saying shit like This#Generation has no respect and are so cruel and classless and always pick at problems for no reason and make unfounded baseless claims when I#was literally reading them evidence of the awful things that happened under her reign and they were going i don’t believe that. LMFAO! ok.#and the generational disdain has been such an issue too. like our parents straight up think we are stupid! love and light 💖#purrs#one of the worst fights i ever had with my mom that was the reason i started going to counseling happened bc of how jason mraz announced#that he was two-spirit and i was talking to my mom about it and said that he shouldn’t have called himself that bc he&: white and she BLEW#UP at me for like 3 days straight for trying to be ‘labelist’ about him and for caring about sexuality and ‘policing’ his / her language and#she literally went out of her way to pick a fight with someone on ig who was saying the thing i was to prove a point to me and she said othe#other extremely hurtful things about me being bi and about me having the audacity to ‘root for the underdog’ and how she was going to cut me#out of her life just like she did with her aunt because i push her buttons too much so ♥️ always very fun to get into debates with my parent#and i know it goes against literally everything i am supposed to know / be for me to be arguing like this and to be complaining about it and#even joking about queen elizabeth but like. idk. i feel so torn between how i feel. i know she was a human being yeah yeah but she was#also a colonialist monarch parasite and i genuinely think the way tumblr explodes when politicians and world leaders die is endearing and#exciting and funny. i adore my job and my colleagues and also working full time is killing me. i recognize that my parents are human beings#and that i am flawed and don’t know everything and am saying stuff without fully knowing what it means and also it makes me giddy to pick#fights with them a little bit. i am kind of a bad person i think and i care about it so much but also i don’t give a fuck anymore. nothing#in my life feels real rn and i am a scared creature in my skin all the time. so no i don’t feel like i can hold my own and represent my work#well because i am living a double life just wanting to play video games all the time and run away from everything but also wanting to create#the golden thing and help people open the door to a better world or whatever and i can’t tell wha ti want to do more because im fucking#EXHAUSTED and experiencing 15 kinds of despair at all times lol!#not to turn a post about queen elizabeth into a vent lmfao but i am so angry. it really fucking gets me that they think im stupid lol. like#i know im stupid for other reasons but it’s not fair to think im stupid because i am pointing out inequities and trying to help you learn or#whatever and it’s not fair that you think that im stupid because im a young person like im literally your fucking daughter and it is made st#STAGGERINGLY clear to me every day how you only wanted babies and you didn’t want us as the messy growing learning imperfectncomplicated#adults we are becoming and it fucking hurts and i hate you for it a little bit. lol 🤸🏻‍♀️#delete later#idk what i even just typed i an just hitting post and letting the consequences roll in. im a bad person fuck it!#parents tw
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paragonrobits · 3 months
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some important calvin and hobbes facts in case you haven't read the original comic strip in a long time or only absorbed stuff on it from memes and out of context bits on here:
Calvin's last name has never been given, and neither has any of his parent's names. This was actually why his uncle Max only showed up for a brief storyline; the creator of the comic, Bill Watterson, ultimately felt that while it was fine to have him as someone for his parents to talk to, it felt far too awkward to never have Max refer to them by name and he never made a return appearance.
The general tone of the comic is fairly light-hearted, with a big emphasis on goofy slapstick comedy contrasted by clever wordplay and often surprising adult-centered jokes that'll hit you like a slap. A big part of the comedy is, as Watterson put it (paraphrased) "It's really funny to me when people express deeply stupid ideas with really fancy terminology." One notable example you might have seen is that one bit where Calvin asks his mom for money to buy a Satan-worshiping rock album and his mom replies that there's nothing genuine about them and they're just putting on the attitude for shock value, and comisserates with Calvin as he deplores that mainstream nihilism can't be trusted. He concludes that childhood is disillusioning.
There is a LOT of criticism of the extreme materialism and selfish mentality of the late 80s, when the comic was initially written. This may go a long way to explain how its aged so well; much of what it criticizes resonates well with people today.
Bill Watterson views comic strips a legitimate form of artwork, and repeatedly fought to have more space to draw more beautiful and artistic backgrounds, which was a very hard fight and unpopular even with other comic strip artists. He eventually did win some compromises and a lot of Calvin And Hobbes' artwork shows it, with the use of space to indicate time as well as a sharp contrast between the often plain environments of mundane life contrasted by the wildly beautiful imagery of Calvin's imagination (which often sports realistic depictions in an art shift of sorts).
Hobbes is explicitly not an imaginary friend, by word of Watterson himself. We don't know WHAT he is exactly, and Hobbes is apparently unaware of the strange nature of his reality; people look at him and only see an ordinary stuffed tiger plushie, but he has a tangible effect on the world that would be physically impossible for Calvin to do on his own. He's apparently been around for a while, and was apparently around when Calvin was a young baby.
On that note; Hobbes has implicitly killed (notably treated as both a gag and also with the vibe of 'he's a tiger, duh') and while he doesn't do it again on-screen, he doesn't have any moral issues about it. Calvin claims that he's never had trouble bringing Hobbes to school because the last time he did, Hobbes killed and ate a bully named Tommy Chestnut and simply comments that it was gross and he needed a bath. Calvin's tried to repeat this again, but Hobbes was grossed out at the thought having to eat a kid raw and not being allowed to use an oven first, or complaining that children are too fattening.
Hobbes became gradually less human-like in body language and more like an actual cat in both body language and behavior; this was due to Watterson drawing more inspiration from his cat, who also inspired a lot of Hobbes' running gags, such as pouncing on Calvin when he got home. Several years into the syndication of the strip, Watterson's cat passed away, and he did a tribute to her with a comic strip of the two of them agreeing to try to dream together so they can keep playing when they have to sleep; Watterson's commentary (if I recall right), remarks on his cat: "We can see each other again in dreams."
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sytoran · 11 months
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𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐒 | 𝐠𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐬!𝐧𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐭.𝟏
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you, a regular law-abiding citizen, saved the gods by accident. now, the goddess of lust, natasha, is going to grant you a wish. you could've had just about anything, but looking at the ethereal being before you, there's only one thing on your mind.
pairing: goddess!natasha x dom!fem!reader (G!P)
note: hello, folks! this is the long-awaited goddess!nat fic for the milestone event! i am quite proud of this fic, ngl... got a bit too carried away with some parts ;)
word count: 2.5k
the milestone event | main m.list | join the taglist | AO3
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When you jumped in front of a speeding car to save a cat on the road, you had absolutely no clue that the cat was not, in fact, a cat.
This not-cat was a species of flerken, and it’s name was Goose. Flerkens were extremely dangerous alien creatures. At least, that’s what the Goddess of Galaxies, Carol Danvers, told you.
Trust me, meeting an intergalactic space goddess with a pet killing-machine (that looked awfully like a cat) was about as chaotic and unbelievable as you would imagine it to be.
“H-holy fuck!” you yelled, jumping in your seat, as a glowing woman materialised before your very eyes, in your shithole of an office. 
“I do not believe I am holy, even though I am a Goddess.” The woman stated, watching with curious eyes as you tittered over your split coffee. Lifting your laptop and muttering curses, then sifting through the messed up paperwork.
“You’re a what?” You asked distractedly, still panicking over the mess that is your desk. “My boss is actually going to murder me. Or maybe I’ll murder myself first. I am literally- Yeah, okay, how the fuck did you appear like that? And aren’t gods supposed to be like, really huge? You look kinda…… human.”
“I am a goddess.” Carol reiterated with slight annoyance. A literal extraterrestrial being was in front of your eyes, and the only thing you cared about was your damn coffee? 
“We are beings you could only ever fathom from the depths of your imagination, powerful beyond measure. Which is also why we can shapeshift to look like regular human beings, so we won’t scare the shit outta you. Which seems to have still happened.”
You let out a dry bark of laughter. Carol wasn’t sure if you thought she was funny or you were about to burst into tears.
“So, why did you decide to visit me, ever-powerful, omnipresent, all-mighty being?” You asked, half-sarcastically, half simply given up on life itself. The report you had been working on for nearly an hour had been ruined by the fiasco earlier. 
You dropped into your chair, kicking your feet up onto your desk. Loosening your black tie with a weary sigh, you looked at the Goddess’ eyes and continued. “I’m a nobody. I’m an overworked and underpaid attorney. I run on caffeine. I don’t know why or how you’re here, but I really–”
“You saved us. The Gods and Goddesses.” Carol interrupts, firm and unyielding. “We owe you, alright? You get one wish.”
“One wish, to get whatever it is you desire. Anything. Anything at all.”
Your story was absolutely one of zero to hero. From an ‘underpaid and overworked attorney’, to having the fucking gods of the multiverse indebted to you, it seemed like a rather unorthodox situation.
“So… what do you want?” Carol had asked you. 
“Uhm, I don’t need anything,” you mumbled, fiddling with your loosened tie. “Like, it’s totally chill between us even if I saved your cat.”
Great. Real cool, Y/N. The middle school boys could never compare to your level of failed attempts at being cool.
“Goose is not a cat, alright?” Carol commented, offended. You mutter an apology. 
“So, what do you want?” she continued impatiently. “Humans thrive off greed. You mortals always want something. What is it, money? A fancy car? A boyfr– okay, not to be stereotypical, but you’re definitely not straight. So, women on your mind?”
You splutter at her outright but nevertheless true allegation. Carol gives you this blank stare that makes you feel stupid. 
“Well, I guess, as a woman, there’s something I do want,” you speak up after a while. Carol raises her eyebrows in interest. “Something I have wanted to try, you know.”
Leaning closer to whisper your deepest desire in the goddess’ ear, Carol’s eyebrows disappear into her hairline. Her impressed, intrigued, embarrassed, and taken aback emotions all morphed into one expression, almost steals a laugh from your lips.
“You want me to grant you a cock.”
The Goddess of Lust sits in her throne, a picturesque image of perfection, the statement falling from her lips with such ease. There’s a lilt to her voice you can’t decipher. You just nod, looking unfalteringly at the goddess, as if it was the most normal request in the world. 
The Goddess was slightly perturbed by your lack of, well, awe. There you were, standing in her grand palace, unfazed by the multi-million dollar chandeliers and gold-framed pictures, unfazed by her.
Natasha was just about the most exquisite sight people would kill to lay their eyes upon. Soft curls framed her delicately sculpted face like curtains to a stage, magnificent deep eyes and a more than well-endowed body to complement her pretty face. Her rose-gold dress of satins and sequins dripped with money. There was the thrall she exuded, of seduction so strong that had men and women falling to their knees.
Natasha was the Goddess of Lust for sakes, and the only thing you cared about was redeeming your wish?
She would’ve been annoyed, if not for how unfairly charming you were, standing with your hands in your pockets, a charming gentlemanly smile on your face.
“What kind of cock do you want?” Natasha resorts to ask, a playful smirk on her features. “I’ve seen some interesting ones over the years, intergalactic sex is far crazier than you would imagine. Ooh, do you want tentacles to-”
“Uh, no thanks.” You say hurriedly, a hand going out of your pocket to rub at your nose. It’s the first sign of discomfort or embarrassment Natasha’s seen from you. She grins. 
“Just a regular human one?” She clarifies, pouting at you slightly. 
“That’d be great, yeah.” You respond, back to smiling brightly. Natasha frowns. She knows that there’s something under that stupid gentlemanly facade you’re putting on. She’s craving to get a taste of it.
“What size?” The Goddess asks bluntly, like a Starbucks barista asking for your order on a Monday morning.
“A regular size would be fine, I suppose.” You respond in kind, nodding to yourself assuredly. Natasha winks at you. “Ah, a regular size, I see.”
Before you can decipher that cryptic response, the Goddess stands up, a pillar of superiority and authority. She snaps her fingers, and you’re being pushed back into a fancy chair. Where did the chair come from, anyway?
You forgo the answer to that question as the Goddess begins what you would assume to be the procedure. “Sit tight.”
A surge of pain presses against your crotch area, and you almost keel forward in shock, but the pain goes as quickly as it comes. 
“Wait….. that’s it?” You ask, almost disbelievingly. Natasha nods proudly.
You look down, hands resting on your belt buckle. 
You look up at the Goddess, and she only smirks. 
You pull down your pants in swift fashion, letting out a quiet ‘whoa’ at the bulge in your boxers. It definitely feels bigger than would be regular, but then again you don’t have much knowledge of a man’s cock per se.
“Thank you,” You say, pleased with the results. Trying something new in the bedroom would definitely bring more life to your desolate days.
All too quick for the Goddess’ liking, you’re putting your clothes back on and getting ready to leave. “Thanks for your help,” You say calmly, turning to walk down the long passageway.
God, you just wanted to watch her fall apart.
As you walk, you feel Natasha’ eyes burning holes through your back. Oh, the tension was palpable, building with each step you took. It was getting harder to walk, with Natasha’s thrall like a heavyweight on your shoulders, willing you not to leave.
As you stand before the tall doors, you come to a standstill. Natasha waits in her throne with bated breath, so many words fighting to fall from the tip of her stubborn lips.
Your hand pushes down on the door handle, and that’s the last thing you can do before Natasha snaps her fingers again, and the tension is broken like a snapped coil. Suddenly, you’re pressed against her, looking into her dilated pupils.
“You’re so annoying, you know? I’ve been so fucking horny, looking at you this whole time, and you were about to get up leave?” Natasha asks, her tongue coming out to dart at her pink lips. Her hands have grasped your forearms, but your hands are cinched around her waist, disabling movement.
“No,” you breathe, head moving down to trail open-mouthed kisses along the column of her poised neck. “I was waiting for you.” The Goddess throws her head back under your fleeting touch. 
“Fuckin’ tease,” she mumbles, and you smirk against her skin. You’re rough with her, too, knowing that she isn’t made of glass, sucking purple marks into the pale skin of her neck, shoving your knee between her legs to spread them wider.
“Too much clothes,” Natasha breathes, and then with a burst of magic you’re stripped bare of any article of clothing. Her hands fly to your cock instantaneously, wrapping her delicate fingers around your semi-hard member.
You grunt against her skin, struggling to find a better position to properly have her. Since she’s sitting in the throne and you’re bent over above her, you can barely have her the way you want. Due to your lack of magical power, you resort to doing things the hard way.
Your hands slide under Goddess’ dress, going under her thighs, and then manhandling her up. Natasha’s whines of disapproval turn on deaf ears as you sit yourself in the grand chair, plopping her onto your lap. You don’t miss the way her thighs are already slightly damp.
“Need you inside now, fuck,” Natasha growls into your skin, climbing onto your cock as your hands squeeze at her thighs. You proceed to rip the fabric off her skin, deciding that there’s too much clothing restricting you from getting your hands on her.
And boy, was that a sight you’d never forget. 
“Oh!” The Goddess cries, when you lean forward to wrap your lips around her hardened bud. Your hands don’t rest for a moment, squeezing everywhere – hips, thighs, breasts, ass — whatever you can get your hands on. She’s fucking exquisite.
The stimulation seems to work wonders for Natasha’s pleasure, as she engulfs your cock in her warmth with fervour.
You gasp lowly, a throaty sound escaping your lips. Her hips and ass go up and down, working her cunt around the girth of your cock, wet and warm and slick. You can barely keep up with how desperate she is, and the fact that you have this wonder of a woman falling apart at your hands makes your heart soar.
Matching the rhythm of short upward thrusts with Natasha’s riding makes her moan out loud, a pretty melodious sound that imprints itself into your brain all at once. You wanna hear it a hundreds of times more.
Natasha gets more messy with her riding, as you suck hickeys, light ones and fierce ones, into her collarbone and her neck and breasts. You can’t resist the urge to slap her on the ass as she rides you like it’s the last day she’d be on this universe.
“Ah!” The Goddess moans, and you grip her thighs and push her down hilt deep, and her eyes roll into the back of her head. You feel her cum around your cock, so needy and desperate and mindless, and that triggers your own climax. 
Natasha hadn’t even begun to open her eyes again before she ends up on the floor and you hovering above her, your hands fervently spreading her cunt open. You duck your head down, licking a long stripe up her puffy clit. 
The Goddess writhes, unintelligible moans falling from her lips as you proceed to give her the best fucking cunnilingus of her life.
You’re more than determined to make this an unforgettable experience for the Goddess who probably had sex every other day. 
Natasha doesn’t know what the fuck you’re doing with your tongue, but you’re ravenous and your carnal desire makes her even wetter than before.
She’s slept with plenty of people, human or not, but none of them had ever been this uncouth about her pussy. Oh, it nearly drove her mad, but she was already seeing stars.
Before the Goddess registers what’s happening, your hardened cock slides into her cunt with a flippant ease once again. Natasha lets out a filthy moan as she feels it throb inside her, clenching around you hard.
You slap her thigh in retaliation, but feeling the sudden strike of pain only turns her on further. “Gonna fill you up so good,” you pant. “You won’t be able to walk tomorrow.” 
Natasha takes it as a promise, when you spread her thighs and line your cock up with her pussy. The Goddess of Lust doesn’t think she’s ever wanted anyone this bad.
You enter her roughly, your previously calm exterior completely faded away. You fuck her deeper with each thrust, opening the Goddess up. Pounding into the woman’s cunt like a woman starved, you hear her beg and cry with each thrust.
“Oh, please! More! More!” The Goddes cries, nearly screaming your name every time your blunt head pushes against her cervix. You only get spurred on further, going at a pace so painfully fast you don’t know if you’ll be able to walk tomorrow.
You swallow at the sight of this Goddess, completely breathtaking in her state of unravelling. 
“My divine Goddess,” You say, leaning down to press a kiss against the bulge of your cock at her lower stomach. 
Those words in itself have Natasha uncoiling before you, your name falling from her lips like a sacred mantra. Her walls are wrapped around your cock so tight, her nails digging into your back so hard it nearly draws blood.
“My divine Goddess,” you repeat, eyes glazed over, reaching your own climax inside her. Natasha lets out a filthy moan, feeling each throb of your cock in her as walls of cum pulse inside her, again and again. 
God, it feels so good, everything everywhere all at once, your world becoming Natasha, Natasha, Natasha. 
You think you could stay like this forever.
A long bath and a trip to the Goddess’ bedroom later, you’re laying on her expensive silk sheets, hair smelling like rosemilk or whatever that shampoo had been called.
You honestly don’t know how this gorgeous woman’s been charmed by your awkward humour and the coffee stain on your work shirt, but you’re definitely not complaining as she nuzzles into your neck, humming in satisfaction.
“You sure that’s the first time you’ve ever had a cock?”
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kibblz-n-bitz · 6 months
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Putting On A Show
Summary: After liberating a country, you and Luffy have some "fun" in front of an audience.
8k words
Tags: Exhibitionism (obviously), multiple orgasms, squirting, a hint of humiliation, creampie, oral sex, penetrative sex, biting
I've worked so hard on this fic! I hope y'all enjoy (I know I did😉)
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Laughter and joy filled the air. You let out a relieved sigh, turning to your captain sitting at the head of the table. Bandages littered his skin, reminders of their most recent battle. Despite them, he was laughing and clapping along to the music Brook was playing. 
It was a fierce battle on some random island you and your crew had managed to stumble upon. Some powerful pirate had taken over the land, and the people on it lived in fear. It was only a matter of time before your captain decided to defeat the other pirate, just because someone had shown him charity (All it took was a little girl giving him a sandwich). The strawhats were all exhausted from the battle, but ready to relax with a banquet held in their name. You smiled to yourself as you looked around at your crewmates. 
The king of the island approached your table. You were giggling and chatting with Nami about stealing when he cleared his throat, announcing his presence to the distracted pirates. 
“I cannot express my gratitude enough,” He began, “I never would have thought that pirates would be the ones to liberate my country as they were also the ones to enslave it. Please, help yourself to as much food and drink as you’d like. There’s plenty to go around.”
“We will.” Zoro and Luffy said in unison.
“There is another matter I would like to discuss with your captain.” He cleared his throat once more, trying to get the attention of Luffy, who had his mouth stuffed with food in a matter of seconds. “Walk with me, if you will.”
“Can I take this with me?” Luffy picked up the biggest bowl of meat he could find. The king chuckled with a “but of course.”
The king left with your captain and his food in tow, and the strawhats went back to their own plates.
“What do you think that was all about? Seemed kinda serious.” Usopp noted as he brought some noodles into his mouth.
“Maybe he’s giving us some treasure as a gift!” Nami squealed, her eyes practically turning into Beri signs.
“Or perhaps he’s lured our captain away so he could kill him while nobody was around.” Robin said. Usopp shouted “that’s not funny!” as Chopper and Nami stared at her with a shocked expression.
“Gimme a break. You think that old bastard could take out our captain?” Zoro huffed as he took a swig of his drink. His cheeks were a bit flushed, as he was well onto his 18th cup of sake. “He’s probably just thanking Luffy or somethin’. Nothing our captain can’t handle.”
You leaned back in your chair. Despite everyone’s dismissive behavior, you really were curious as to what the two were discussing. Like Usopp pointed out, the king looked rather serious. But Zoro was right, if he was a threat then Luffy could definitely handle it. Your captain was reliable like that, and it was one of the many qualities you loved him for.
Your relationship with your captain was relatively new. You had joined the strawhat pirate crew after they had reunited in Sabaody. It was a funny coincidence, actually. At that time, you had heard many stories about Strawhat Luffy and his wild behavior. Of course, most of your information came from news articles, so naturally he was painted as a violent criminal, untamed and extremely dangerous (As if his bounty wasn’t intimidating enough). But, the first time you had ever laid eyes on him, he was running around with some big ass backpack on, and a mustache- a poor excuse for a disguise. The marines were around and he looked frantic, unintentionally drawing more and more attention to himself.
You rolled your eyes. Was this really the guy who declared war against the world government? The same guy who fought at Marineford? Really? You decided to take pity on the poor boy as he ran around the archipelago like a chicken without its head. When he ran past you, you quickly grabbed the bag he had on his back and used its weight to shove him into a nearby alley. Surprisingly, the alley was wide enough that the bag fit. 
“What the hell are you doing?” You whisper-yelled. Luffy shook his head, as if he just now realized he was in an alley with you and not out in the open anymore.
“I’m looking for my crew. There’s too many marines out there. Stupid marines.” He huffed, crossing his arms. You fought the urge to laugh. He looked a little ridiculous with his disguise. 
“You’re Monkey D. Luffy, right?” 
“Yep. That’s me!” He grinned, before pausing and slapping his hands over his mouth. “I-I mean… Whoooo’re you talking about? I dunno that guy. He sounds kinda cool though.”
You laughed. He was such a terrible liar. It was almost… cute. The way he pursed his lips and refused to make eye contact as he pretended as if he didn’t blow his own cover a few seconds before.
“Don’t worry Luffy. I’m not gonna sell you out.” You snickered.
“Then why did ya help me?” He asked with a tilt of his head. You hummed to yourself, thinking. You weren’t entirely sure yourself. You just felt the need to help him when he was lost.
“I don’t know. I just figured you could use it. Your disguise is pretty shitty by the way,” You said as you stretched, considering your next words carefully. “I can… help you find your crew, if you’d like.”
The boy lit up. He jumped forward and grabbed your shoulders, his eyes shining like stars. You briefly regretted your decision, wondering if you’d made a mistake.
“REALLY? That would be great!!!! Thank you!” He practically shouted. You slapped a hand over his mouth as you noticed an officer nearby turn his head in your direction. There was no way in hell this boy could get around the archipelago by himself and not get caught.
“Could you at least try to be quiet? I’m doing you a favor here.” You chastised him and sighed, once again doubting your decision. “Do you know where you’re supposed to be meeting them?”
Luffy nodded and told you the grove he needed to be at. You weren’t too far away, but the minute you got closer to their ship Luffy took off, grabbing your hand and dragging you in the process. So much for leading him there, you grumbled to yourself in your head.
Once Luffy saw the Sunny he immediately catapulted himself towards it, taking you along with him. You didn’t expect him to take you with him. In fact, you weren’t even sure if Luffy was aware that he’d brought you along with him, because he never looked back once the Sunny came into view. You watched as his crew cried out and hugged him, feeling a bit out of place. You inched to the side of the ship, looking for a place to get off and back onto the ground. 
“Luffy, who is that?” a voice called attention to you. You blushed and pushed yourself to the rails, nervous under the infamous pirates gazes. This is it, you panicked internally, they’re gonna think I’m an intruder and try to kill me. Images of news stories warning of crew members like the hunter Roronoa Zoro and Nico Robin flooded your mind, and you swallowed. Your mouth was dry.
“That’s my friend! She’s the one who helped me get here actually.” Luffy chirped, running to stand next to you. The boy snickered, “If it weren’t for her, I would’ve been caught by the marines!”
“Okay, what’s her name?” Zoro asked, arms crossed and heads tossed to the side. God, he was fucking scary. Sporting a scarred eye and bulging muscles.
“It’s… uh...” Luffy trailed off, hand to his chin. He turned to you. “What’s ya name again?”
“STOP BRINGING RANDOM PEOPLE YOU DON’T KNOW THE NAMES OF ONTO THE SHIP!” Nami barked as she conked her captain on the head.
“It’s… Y/N. I didn’t know that I’d be meeting you all here, I just saw Luffy and it seemed like he needed my help, so…” You trailed off, unsure of yourself. You cursed yourself mentally. I’m making myself sound like a wet napkin, you groaned mentally. 
“Y/N!!! Welcome to my crew!” Luffy laughed and slapped a hand onto your back. You choked on your spit. What the fuck did he just say?
“LUFFY!” The entire group shouted in unison.
“Whaat? It’s no big deal. She’s really strong!” That much was true. You spent your days as an assassin and that required a lot of training. Luffy huffed and crossed his arms. “And anyways, I’m the captain and I want her on my crew!”
“Luffy, did you even ask her if she wants to join? She looks uncomfortable.” Nami let out a frustrated sigh, bringing a hand to her temples. “I have to apologize for my captain Y/N. He can be a selfish, reckless idiot most of the time. Would you like to join us?” 
You smiled. Of course he was. But the more time you spent with him, the more you felt drawn to him. He had some sort of boyish charm, wild and carefree. He inspired you, and you felt disappointed at the thought of leaving him and going back to your boring, repetitive life.
You looked at Luffy and met his gaze. He grinned at you. Maybe joining him was a good idea. Was it crazy to want adventure in your life? You weren’t sure, but you wanted to find out. Turning back to Nami, you nodded with a surge of confidence.
Smiling to yourself, you remembered your days with Luffy. You were both drawn to each other, and the crew noticed immediately. It didn’t take long for you to warm up to the crew either. They all loved you the way you loved them. And it didn’t hurt that you were quite attractive. Curvy and soft, you loved the way you looked and it was safe to say that others did too.
You were lost in thought when Luffy roamed back to the table, without the bowl. He had a weird look on his face, like he was thinking really hard about something. That was definitely a first for Luffy.
“Something the matter, buddy?” Franky asked. “What’d that old geezer want with ya anyway?”
“He told me somethin’ about me and Y/N,” He said as he scooped food onto a brand new plate. No clue where he even got it from. Your brow raised. “He said somethin’ ‘bout a tradition ceremony or somethin’. Has to do with me and her. He said there was free food! And treasure after the event ceremony thing!”
Nami squealed, fist bumping the air. You were still confused. “What event, Luffy? And what do we have to do with it?”
“Somfin abou a…” Luffy swallowed the food in his mouth he was trying to speak around. “Constipation… in front of an audience I think? He said it’s s’posed to be really fun for us though.”
Your face scrunched, you were even more confused than before. The rest of the crew looked at each other, equally as confused. They knew their captain gravely misunderstood something important the king had said, and it was up to them to decipher what he meant. They sat in silence for a minute before the king once again approached the table.
“Before those pirates had taken over our village, we had a tradition during banquets like these. A couple chosen for the night would feast, consummate in front of an audience, and be rewarded with riches and good fortune afterward.”
In a matter of seconds, Sanji spit the wine he was taking a sip of onto Zoro. You choked on your own saliva and, at the same time as Nami, cried out “WHAT?” Usopp flushed and Robin did as well, she brought a hand to her mouth with an almost scandalized gasp. Luffy looked around, confused. 
“Huh? What? What does that mean?” Luffy asked with a tilt to his head.
“Forget it! They’re not gonna do some weird sex show for you damn perverts!” Nami yelled, pointing at the king. His expression remained the same- a kind, seemingly warm smile.
“Oh it is certainly more than that. It is an act our ancestors have honored for a very long time. It is to honor the couple, to bring them good fortune. We see it as a tribute of sorts.” He tried to explain.
“Waow! Didn’t know this island was full of perverts.” Franky chuckled with approval.
“Well, it’s kinda too late to say no now, ‘cause I already agreed to it.” Luffy shrugged before shoving more food into his mouth. Your mouth went dry as another wave of shock passed over the group.
“YOU IDIOT!” Nami hollered at her captain. “Do you ever think about anyone other than yourself? Think about Y/N! What if she doesn’t want to do this?”
Luffy blinked, then turned to you. He hadn’t thought about that. Luffy didn’t really care whether or not people saw the two of you together. The captain lived without an ounce of shame in his body, so the prospect of food, sex with you, and treasure sounded like a really good idea. But the way you were staring down at the table told him you didn’t think so.
You were silent for a minute as the crew argued with each other. Looking up at the king, you asked, “How much treasure?”
The crew went silent as they waited for the king’s response.
“We have lots of gold and riches left from the old pirates.” The king stroked his beard in thought. “And since you’ve helped our kingdom, we are willing to give you half.”
Nami’s jaw dropped. She whipped her head to you, and you felt you knew what she was going to say. But instead, she sighed.
“Y/N… you don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.” She reminded you as she placed her hands on your shoulders. The navigator sat back down in her seat beside you as you stared at your plate once again, thinking. You could feel the crews’ eyes on you, waiting for your decision. 
You mentally weighed the pros and cons of actually going through with this. On one hand, you were a little embarrassed at the thought of showing such an intimate part of yourself to a bunch of strangers. But on the other, more convincing hand, there was a really big reward at the end. It’s not like you were going to see these people again anyways. Was an hour or two of getting plowed by your boyfriend in front of a crowd worth it for millions or beris worth of treasure? 
Yes, you decided, it was.
“I’ll do it.” You turned to the king. He nodded with the same smile on his face as before. 
“Very well. I will make preparations at once. Our servants will fetch you when the time is right.” With that, the king had left the room.
An awkward silence momentarily fell over the group. Usopp and Sanji stared at you with mouths wide, in shock. Nami was also surprised, if the look on her face said anything about it.
“Didn’t take you for a pervert either, Y/N!” Franky said with a chuckle.
“Y/N… are you sure you want to do this? It’s okay if you don’t want to… we’d all understand if you called this off.” Nami reached over to grab your hand, concern etched onto her face. “Don’t do this just for us.”
“Trust me, I’m not.” You reassured Nami and held her hand. “And I’m not a pervert either, Franky. I just figured that if Luffy doesn’t care, then why should I? It’s not like we’ll be visiting this island again. And besides- we’re pirates! I’d be damned if I’m letting all that treasure go to waste.”
“Well, if you say so. Just don’t say we didn’t warn you.” Usopp shrugged, his face a little flushed.
“Hm? What do you mean, Usopp?” You placed your chin on your hand and leaned forward a bit, a shit-eating grin crawling onto your face. You narrowed your eyes at him across the table. “You wanna watch?”
You laughed when he screamed, a flush blooming onto his face. He sputtered and the others joked around, falling back into their casual banter. You watched them resume their old conversation when you felt a hand lace through yours. You smiled, knowing it was Luffy. He was physically affectionate, and loved holding your hand whenever he could.
“‘M sorry I didn’t ask ya first.” Luffy said as he finished off his 4th plate. That boy could eat. 
“It’s okay. Besides, this should be fun, right?” You nudged him with your shoulder, giggling at his wide grin. He nodded eagerly.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
You stared at yourself in the mirror, hands clammy and body cold. You were nervous, now that ceremony was moments away. 
Earlier, two maids came to collect you from where you were sitting with your crew. There was a small preparation ritual you needed to go through, they explained. They led you to some sort of spa-room, with various amounts of fruits and pastries on a table in one corner. They encouraged you to help yourself and relax. You took a warm bath, with sweet scented herbs wafting through the air and petals in the tub. After you had climbed out, there was clothing laid out for you. A white silk feathered robe, one that hugged your curves and felt smooth against your skin. Nothing else.
I guess they want us to get straight to the point, you thought to yourself. You rolled your shoulders, trying to shake the anxiety out of your bones. You wished Luffy were with you. He’d kiss your fears away and tell you that you’d be fine. He’d help you get out of your head and live in the moment. But he wasn’t here. The royal servants had you two prepare yourselves in separate rooms. A soft smile spread across your face as you thought of Luffy, who had probably eaten all the treats laid out for him and asked for more. 
Sitting on a cushy loveseat, you ate some fruit and anxiously awaited the servants’ return. Waiting like this would kill you, but it wasn’t like you could leave and find your boyfriend yourself. You would just have to sit here, just you and your brain, and wait to be called so you could have sex in front of a crowd. No big deal. 
A soft knock on the door saved you from your spiraling thoughts. The servant from before peeked her head through it. “Ms. L/N? The ceremony is ready for you now.”
They led you down a strange and looming hallway. You tried to psych yourself up. It worked at first, but started to lose its effect the more you walked.
“Y/N? HEEEEY!” You heard a shout from behind you. You didn’t get the chance to turn before a weight collided with your back, pushing you forward. Steadying yourself, you reached an arm back to pet through the soft, jet-black hair you knew you’d find. 
“Hi Luffy.” You smiled. You could feel your anxiety melting away in his presence.  You could feel the warmth of his smile as he tightened his arms around you and nuzzled into the back of your neck. This is what you loved about him. The way he was able to calm your nerves and make you feel so safe and warm just by being near him. “You excited?”
“Hmm? For what?” Luffy unraveled himself off of you so he could lace your fingers together. The two of you kept walking, following the royal servants. They claimed you two were nearing the ceremony’s auditorium. You raised an eyebrow at Luffy before realization dawned across his face. “Oh! That?” he shrugged, “I dunno. I’m more excited about bein’ with ya. I don’t really care if people see us, so it doesn’t make much of a difference to me.”
You blushed at Luffy’s boldness, but you had expected an answer like that from someone like him. With a squeeze of his hand, the two of you approached two large doors.
“Beyond these doors is the entrance to the stage, where you two will be conducting the ceremony. We wish you the best of luck and we thank you for all that you have done for us.” The servants bowed their heads and opened the doors.
You and Luffy looked at each other and you took a deep breath before nodding and stepping through them together.
You and him walked onto a stage. A large bed was placed in the middle of it. White sheets, a couple pillows, and a small nightstand with two water bottles were the only things there. You swallowed, mouth dry. You heard a few cheers as the two of you made your way to the bed. Luffy looked at you. He had a feeling you might be nervous, so he squeezed your hand before lifting his other to your face and pulling you in. His lips met yours. It was… surprisingly gentle. Normally Luffy is fueled by passion lit deep in his stomach. But when his face pressed against yours, he was sweet and soft.  
“Don’t think about them,” He murmured against your lips when he pulled back. He brought the hand that held yours to the other side of your face, cradling your head between his palms. He felt so warm. “Just focus on me, yeah?” 
You nodded and sighed into his mouth when he pulled you in once more. You were so wrapped up in your lips moving against Luffy’s you didn’t notice you were moving, until Luffy pulled away to sit back on the bed. His hands slid to your waist, pulling you onto his lap. He pulled his hat from where it hung against his collarbone to place it on the bed. His garments were similar to yours in that they were silky white, but he only wore baggy parachute pants held up with a drawstring. You assumed he was also bare underneath, if his half hard length had anything to say about it. You whined into his mouth as you straddled him, one hand buried in his soft jet-black hair. The other trailed down his neck and over the X-shaped scar on his chest. Luffy gasped into your mouth, his scar tissue sensitive. His hands tightened on your waist and he pushed you onto him, trying to garner a bit of friction against his rapidly hardening member. 
“F-fuck, Y/N…” It was Luffy’s turn to sigh into your mouth. With a shudder, he brought up a hand to undo the belt that held your robe closed. When it fell open, Luffy grabbed your waist- underneath the robe this time. You whimpered when his hand gripped your flesh and squeezed, his palms igniting fires against your skin. When he went to pull the robe off of you, you stopped him.
“Not yet.” You whispered against his lips when he tilted his head at you in confusion. He seemingly understood because he went back to wrestling his tongue with yours, your kisses becoming more and more heated as time passed. You swayed your hips against his, reveling in the whine that escaped from Luffy’s mouth. He seemed to get a little more restless, because he suddenly stood, giggling when you gasped against him. He turned around with you in his arms, before tossing you onto the bed. You yelped.
“L-Luffy!” You looked at him, scandalized. Luffy shrugged it off with a laugh, kicking off his sandals and crawling after you. He had a dark look in his eyes as he situated himself between your legs. The two of you laid together on the bed with your sides facing the audience. You figured Luffy did it this way so you wouldn’t have to face them directly, and your heart swelled with love for the man in front of you. He could be considerate when it really mattered, and it made moments like these all the more special. Your hand twisted into his hair and pulled him back down to you. He groaned into your mouth and rutted his hips into yours. He was hard, painfully so, and you wanted to help him the way you knew how. You locked your legs and rolled him over. He grunted in surprise at the position change, blinking up at you with wide eyes. You pressed a kiss to his lips playfully and pulled back to sit on top of him.
“Let me take care of you right now, m’kay?” You leaned back down and pressed kisses to his neck. Luffy groaned, head falling back against the pillow. His breath came quicker as you trailed kisses down his chest, pausing momentarily to suck on a nipple, before continuing downward. He was full on panting by the time you reached his navel. “Luffy… Look at me. Watch me.”
He brought his head up from the pillow and blinked his eyes open to watch you. You pulled back momentarily to undo the drawstring of his pants. You slid the silk down his hips, eyeing down his length as it slapped against his lower belly. He pushed himself up onto his hands to watch you move your hair out of your face and grip his length, hissing through his teeth as you gave it a few pumps. You brought it to your mouth and kissed the tip sweetly, before locking eyes with your captain again and dragging your tongue up the underside of his dick. He hissed as you traced the vein running along his dick, and grunted when you finally sealed your lips around his tip
“Fhh- Y/N… stop teasing,” Luffy whined, his hips squirming to try and get you to take more into your mouth. You grinned as much as you could and pushed his hips down against the bed. Deciding to have mercy on the poor boy, you tightened your lips around him and sucked gently, taking him deeper into your mouth. He groaned as he watched you bring a hand to stroke his dick, using your spit to help your hand glide easier. You whined at the feeling of his weight on your tongue, bobbing your head. Luffy was shaking, bringing a hand to card through your hair. You could tell he was trying to be patient and not fuck your throat the way he wanted to, so you decided to reward him by swallowing him deeper. He let out a cry before whimpering, “C-can I? Please?” 
“Please what, Luffy?” You pulled off of his dick with a pop and stroked him as you waited for him to answer. He squirmed and whimpered as you gripped him tighter. “Use your words.”
Luffy let out an exasperated sigh as he held your face, forcing you to look at him. “Can I fuck your throat? Please?”
You hummed and nodded, kissing his tip before opening your mouth, the flat of your tongue pressing against the underside of his dick. Looking up at Luffy, the two of you locked eyes as you sucked him deeper, deeper down your throat until your nose nestled in the coarse hair at the base of his cock. He threw his head back and groaned as his hand tightened in your hair, holding your head in place. His hips ground against your face. Drool spilled out of the sides of your mouth, your chin sloppy and messy. You tried to hold your breath as your throat constricted around his cock. When he finally loosened his grip on your hair, you pulled back to catch your breath. You didn’t take too long though, because after a moment you dove forward again, pushing yourself past the tears that slid down your cheeks. You hummed as Luffy used his hold on you to build up a steady rhythm, alternating between bobbing you up and down his length and stuffing himself down your throat.
Luffy was panting and whining, and you could tell he was close before he stuttered the warning to you. This made you double your efforts, sucking him down and swirling your tongue around his cock. Luffy let out a broken moan, and that was all the warning you got before he pushed you as far as he could go. You held yourself still as he released down your throat, swallowing as much as you could. Luffy always came a lot, so even when he released you and you pulled back you still had enough cum in your mouth keeping it full. You blinked up at him through teary lashes and swallowed, panting and finally taking the chance to catch your breath. Fuck, you looked absolutely wrecked. Teary-eyed, flushed, and face covered in drool and cum, you sat back on your haunches. At some point, your robe had slipped off your shoulders, revealing your gasping chest. 
“Fuck Y/N.” Luffy cursed as he pulled you in for a kiss. “Ya felt. So. Fucking. Good.” He gasped in between kisses. You whimpered into his mouth, shrugging the rest of the robe off and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. His hand found your waist as the other cradled the back of your head, deepening the kiss. You loved his hands. They left scorching trails in their wake, seemingly lighting up your body from the inside out. You wanted him so badly, the crowd of people watching you far from your mind. Your thoughts quickly vanished from your mind when Luffy swiped a finger through your folds, sighing at how wet he found you. He kissed down your neck as he slipped a finger inside of you. You sighed and humped his hand, twisting a hand into his hair. He smirked from where he was sucking a mark into your neck. He surprised you again by picking you up and turning around, laying you against the pillows.
“My turn!” He chirped against your lips as he began kissing down your body. He stopped to leave a few love bites, sucking on your neck and collar. When he reached your chest, he sucked a nipple into his mouth, bringing up a hand to play with the other. His other hand dove lower. You whined, squirming as he toyed with your clit and pinched your nipple at the same time. He kissed and nipped at your chest, delighting in the marks he left behind. He gave equal attention to your other breast before continuing his descent, groping and squeezing your body. He loved how soft you were. It made you really fun to cuddle and he loved the bruises his fingers would leave behind from grabbing your hips too tightly. He looked up at you when he finally reached your dripping cunt. He moved your legs to rest over his shoulders as he pressed kisses to your plush thighs. Using his hold on your legs, he spread them a little more, smiling as he gazed down at your wet pussy. He licked his lips, suddenly giddy. “Ready?”
He didn’t wait for your answer before he ran his tongue through your folds. Your gasp turned into a whimper as his tongue lapped over you more, flicking your clit. He groaned into your cunt at your taste on his tongue. Luffy continued with his languid swipes before pushing his tongue a little deeper, ducking past your entrance. This is where his devil fruit came in handy! His tongue stretched into you, flicking at your walls before retreating, only to repeat a mere second later. Your hips twitched and you whined out into the air before gasping for breath. Your hand reached down to run a hand into Luffy’s hair. The other grasped the pillow. Luffy looked up at you as he plunged his tongue deeper and deeper into you, playfulness shining in his eyes at your reaction. You moaned and writhed against him out of your mind with pleasure.
“M-more… Luffy,” You mewled as you clenched around his tongue. He switched up, pulling his tongue out of you and replacing it with his fingers. He huffed against your cunt, taking a moment to catch his breath. It didn’t last long though, because soon enough he nosed his way forward, sealing his lips around your clit. He sucked the bundle of nerves into his mouth as he dipped two fingers inside of you. Slick, wet noises filled the air. You cried out and writhed against him, causing Luffy to grunt and use his grip on your waist to pin you to the bed. “‘M so close Luffy please.”
You were mindless. Rolling your hips against his face, chasing your peak. It was clumsy but slow, with no real rhythm, but growing greedier by the minute. Your thighs began to quiver around Luffy’s head. This didn’t go unnoticed by him, as he doubled down on his efforts. He alternated between slow and fast licks against your clit, while stretching his fingers to reach and curl deep within you. 
“Mmf- Fuck! Luffy,” You gasped, voice wobbling. “I’m s- hnngh… S-so close I- haah… I’m gon-na -!”
Your hips lifted off of the bed, trying to twist out of Luffy’s grasp. He lifted your lower body up a little in his arms, mouth still slotted against your folds. This way you couldn’t hide from the overwhelming pleasure electrocuting your body. You often fought for your orgasms, but Luffy refused to let this one go. He held you tight as you moaned his name. A groan vibrated against your pussy as your release flooded his mouth. You gave up your thrashing, body bouncing a little as you slumped against the mattress. You moaned as you rode out your orgasm on Luffy’s tongue. He kept his mouth on you until you were twitched from oversensitivity. Running a hand through his hair, you gently pulled him away from your shaky thighs and spasming cunt. 
This boy was a mess. Your fluids covered the lower half of his face, glistening against the lights shining onto the stage. His jet-black hair was tousled from your pulling. He smiled at you as if it were just the two of you, seemingly ignoring the cum dripping off of his chin. 
“Y’taste so good Y/N,” Luffy pulled your face forward for a sloppy kiss. You whined at your taste on his tongue. He shuffled forward a bit before pushing you back against the bed. Before he threw himself onto you Luffy slid a pillow under your hips. Your legs slotted against his hips as he made himself comfortable on top of you. “I wanna… be inside of ya so bad… Can I?” He whimpered in between kisses.
You hummed, cradling his face in your palms as you pressed light kisses all over his face. He giggled before burying his face into your neck, his hips rutting against you. Like some kind of mutt, all slobber and excitement as he humped against your folds. You chuckled before shifting a little, angling your hips towards Luffy. You pulled him away from your neck and kissed him deeply. He seemed to get the message. Luffy lined himself up before pulling away from the kiss, a strand of saliva connecting your mouths together. He looked down to watch himself push his way inside of you. You threw your head back and whined at the feeling of him filling you up. 
A hiss turned into a groan as he finally bottomed out inside of you, pubic bone pressed against yours. His dick was long and thick, and he stretched out using his devil fruit powers, growing til his tip kissed your cervix. You expected him to start fucking you right away like he normally did. But when he didn’t, you blinked your eyes open and looked up at him in confusion. He smiled at you lazily and looked down to where the two of you were connected. You tried to grind down on him, to gain some sort of friction, but he used his body weight to pin you to the bed.
“Wh- Luffy?” You gazed at him, confused. “What are you-”
“How bad do ya want it?” 
“What?” You blinked at him, not believing what you’d heard.
“I said,” Luffy leaned forward, eyes dark and flickering with mischief. “How bad do ya want it?”
“Luffy, don’t do this, please. Not now,” You pleaded. “I can’t, it’s s-so embarrassing.” You seemed to remember now. You were in front of an audience. One that was eerily quiet, might you add. Your face burned with shame. He wouldn’t make you beg in front of them, would he? You shuddered, slowly turning your head to the audie-
A rough hand grabbed your face, turning you back to look at the man currently inside you.
“Don’t.” He growled. “Look at me and tell me what you want.” He ground his hips into yours for emphasis, delighting in your needy mewls.
You sniffled, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. God, of all the times to tap into his possessive, demanding side, he had to choose now. What happened to the sweet, docile Luffy who begged to put his hands on you? The boy who was happy just using your mouth? You couldn’t find him in this suddenly commanding man, who twitched inside of you at your distress. It wasn’t often he got like this, all assertive and dominant, but when he did you basked in his authority. He always fucked you a little bit deeper, a little bit harder when he was in this mood. You were happy to indulge him, to beg and submit to his every whim.
But not like this.
This was humiliating.
You whined and squirmed as you thought over your next words carefully. You decided to beg for mercy once more.
“I-I can’t.”
“Fine, I guess ya don’t want it.” Luffy sighed discontentedly. He pulled away from you, shifting to pull himself out of you before you stopped him. You wrapped your legs around him and pulled him back in with a small yelp. Your hands gripped his arms caged around you. Luffy looked down at you, a smirk pulling at his lips. 
“Please, captain…” you sniffled, tears of frustration spilling down your face as humiliation boiled within your veins. But you couldn’t deny the way you clenched down on Luffy as your resolve crumbled into pieces. “Please fuck me. Cum deep inside of me, please. Please. I need it so badly, fuck.”
He blinked at you.
“Fuck. Fuck! I need you to f-fuck me, captain. Please.” You sobbed, writhing on his dick. Luffy laughed, shifting on his knees and hooking his elbows into the crook of your legs. His trademark grin beamed down at you as shivers wracked your body.
“See? That wasn’t so hard!” Luffy snickered. He wouldn’t call himself a sadist, but he did find you crying and begging for him to fuck you kind of funny. “Okay, okay, fine. I gotcha.”
With that, he drove his hips forward. Luffy grunted as you clenched around him, your walls so warm and wet. His length hammered away at that spot inside of you, blurring your vision. You moaned, head rolling back against the pillow. He felt so fucking good. Your mind short-circuited and you couldn’t focus on anything other than Luffy’s length pounding you. With a loud groan, Luffy looked down to where you two were connected. He watched his cock pump in and out of you at an erratic pace. His mouth hung open, drool dripping down his chin and onto your belly. 
That’s when he saw it.
When he’d bottom out, a slight bulge would poke out of your lower abdomen. He wanted to see it again. He pushed into you as deep as he could, staring down your body as your back arched off the mattress. Luffy gasped and sat up a little more, lifting your hips with his hands. He used his hold on you to thrust deeper, harder, his tip knocking against the walls of your with each thrust.
“Ngh- Look, Y/N…” Luffy grunted and whined as you lifted your head, almost delirious but willing to obey him. “You can-ah! You can see me inside ‘f ya.”
You watched as he fucked you like an animal, desperate to bury himself within the deepest parts of your body. Your hands scrambled for purchase against the bedsheets, your eyes squeezing shut as you cried out into the air. Just when you thought things couldn’t get any more overwhelming, your captain pressed the palm of his hand on your tummy, feeling himself slide in and out of you. 
You couldn’t speak. Your body was alight with pleasure, and you felt your peak rapidly approaching. The coil wound deep inside of you tightened. But this orgasm felt a little… different. You could feel the waves of pleasure intensify, like a dam fit to burst.
“L-Luffy I’m-” You were unable to finish your sentence, his length knocking into you just right. You practically screamed and threw your head back as you finally let go. Pleasure ripped through you like a tsunami, your vision spotting, hearing nothing but the pounding of blood in your ears. 
You heard it before you saw it. Your release squirting out against Luffy’s abdomen as he fucks you through it. Loud, wet squelches filled the air, mixing with the sound of your cries and Luffy’s groans. Luffy let out a loud moan, dropping to his forearms and hovering over you. He slowed down a little, opting for grinding his hips into you to catch his breath.
“Fuck Y/N… You’ve never… mnhh- done that before.” Luffy heaved, wrapping his arms around you and burying his face into your neck. You had squeezed so impossibly tight around you when you came, and even now your pussy flutters with the aftershocks of your orgasm. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, petting his hair.
“Luffyy…” You whined, your words slurring together. You warbled something about feeling good before kissing his neck. Everything else had faded away. All you could see, think, feel was him and how good he was making you feel. You wrapped your legs around him, caging him in. Luffy’s moans and whines rose in pitch.
“Y/N! I- hff- ‘m gonna-!” Luffy ducked his head into the crook of your shoulder and moaned, hips stuttering as he came. You moaned at the feeling of his warm seed filling you up. Luffy pushed in as deep as he could go and stayed there. He always preferred being deep inside of you whenever he came. He didn’t care about getting you pregnant, but he loved the way you twitched and whined whenever he came inside of you. With a sigh, he peeled himself away from you, sitting back to admire the mess between your bodies. He laughed.
“Wow, look at the mess ya made!” Luffy snickered. You pushed yourself onto your elbows, face flushed. You’ve never cum so hard before, and you hadn’t even realized you’d squirted until you saw the damage. Luffy’s abdomen and thighs glistened with your cum. His cum dripped from your cunt onto the soaked bed sheets beneath you. Luffy snickered, then brought a hand to grip your thigh. Using his hold on you, he flipped you over onto your stomach. You yelped and shot a confused look over your shoulder. “What? ‘M not done with ya just yet.”
His hands gripped your hips, pulling them upward, your back bowing into an arch. Luffy groped at your ass as he watched the last of his cum ooze out of your cunt. He didn’t like that, so he collected the fluid that threatened to drip down your thighs and pushed it back into you.
“L-Luffy! Just get on with it already!”
“Shishishishi! Sorry Y/N. I jus’ can’t help but play with ya.”
You yelped once more as you felt a hand collide harshly with your ass. Your head whipped around to look at him over your shoulder, face flushed.
“Wh-what the hell was that for?!”
Luffy shrugged with a snicker. “Dunno, just felt like it.”
“Well, give me a warning the next time you decide t- aahn!”
Luffy interrupted you by pushing inside of you in one swift movement. He shifted forward on his knees, leaning forward and nipping at your ear.
“Sorry, were ya sayin’ somethin’?”
He began to pump in and out of you, hard and deep. This position made it easier to hit the deepest parts of you, tip of his cock knocking against your cervix with each thrust. Fuck, any semblance of coherence you held onto slipped from your mind, Luffy’s cock fucking you dumb. You drooled onto the pillow beneath you, moans flowing freely from your open mouth. Luffy whined, driving into you faster. His hips snapped against your ass.
You squirmed and whined as his length pounded away at your g-spot. Your thighs quake, you can feel yourself fluttering around his length. You were reaching another orgasm rapidly, trying to stop it or slow down was futile. Luffy was going to fuck you through your orgasm whether you liked it or not. The repeated stimulation against your cervix and the barely-there stimulation of his balls slapping against your clit drove you closer and closer to the edge.
“Hff- I can feel ya tightening up ‘round me like a fuckin’ vice, baby.” Luffy groaned, his words breathy. He angled his hips, rolling his hips, trying to get you to cum. His arm reached around you, index finger circling your clit. You cried out and clenched down on Luffy. He moaned and you came, gushing around his cock. It wasn’t as intense as your last orgasm, but that didn’t make it any less euphoric. Fireworks danced behind your eyelids as you trembled and cried out in mindless pleasure.
“Atta girl!” Luffy huffed. Your thighs quivered and gave out, crumbling against the bed. Luffy fell with you, sweaty chest pressed against your back. He slowed down, letting you catch your breath for a moment, but still wanting to stimulate himself. He nipped at your ear. “S-so fuckin good f’me baby… Gimme one more, please?”
“Luffyyy,” you whined, words slurring together. Talking was no easy feat. Your tongue felt thick and too heavy to move. Your vision blurred and your face was wet from the tears staining your cheeks. Honestly, you weren’t sure if you could cum again. It’s not like the drag of his cock through your oversensitive walls was helping you, either. “I dunno…  ‘f I can- nnh.”
“C’mon princess, please? For me?” He pressed fleeting kisses against the side of your face and neck, desperate to feel you squeeze him tightly again. Your cunt fluttered and he groaned, wanting so badly to resume his previous pace. But not without your permission. “Please, please?”
Bringing your arms to hold the pillow underneath you, you ground your hips back against your boyfriend. Your nerves alight with oversensitivity, you moaned and squirmed on his cock. It was hard to speak, but you tried your best to show him that you were willing to try, were giving him permission to fuck another orgasm out of you. Luffy seemed to take the hint. He let out a soft chuckle and kissed your face tenderly, he was so in love with you. Nibbling at your ear, he sped up, thighs clapping against your ass. The sound of him fucking you mixed with his overstimulated whimpers in your ear made you whine and clench down on his cock. 
Luffy brought a hand underneath you to rub at your clit, delighting in the way you cried and writhed on his length. You were close, still basking in the aftershocks of your previous orgasm, he just needed something to push you over that edge and into euphoria. A lightbulb went off in his head at the same time that you fluttered around him. He just needed to press on you the way he did before, right? The heel of his palm pushed against your lower abdomen as his middle finger stretched to stay pressed to your clit. It was an awkward angle, but he was determined to have you gush all over him like you did before. You sobbed, practically screaming as your hips bucked, but you had nowhere to go since his hips kept you smothered against his hand and the bed. Your mind went completely blank. Stars burst behind your eyelids. 
“LUFFY! ‘M ssoohmygod ‘m gonna cum- ‘mgonnacumsofuckingh-”
Your legs kicked out as you squirted once more, your screams muffled against the pillow you bit into. Luffy was at the end of his rope. He kept fucking into you, your orgasm bringing him to his own. He bit down on your neck as he came, buried as deep inside of you as he could go. He growled as his cock throbbed and pumped wave after wave of his seed into you. Your forehead pressed against the pillow you had scooped into your arms, gasping for breath. Mentally, you were blissed out. Warmth spread through every part of your body, tingling with pleasure. Your thighs trembled even as you came down from your orgasm. 
Luffy was in a similar state. He slumped against you, chest heaving. His hands caressed the sides of your body as he came down from his orgasm. He licked at the deep bite mark he left on your neck. It wasn’t deep enough to draw blood, but definitely enough to leave a mark for the next few days, a week if he was lucky. Knowing that you’d be walking around with a mark left by him made his dick throb. 
“You okay, baby?” He whispers in your ear, hand rubbing at your back soothingly. You gurgle a response, physically incapable of forming words while you were still coming down. Luffy chest vibrates from where he’s pressed against you as he chuckles. When he pulls away from you, you whine at the loss of his warmth. You’re finally starting to regain consciousness, though your words are slurred. “Luffy… ‘m tired.”
“Aww, are ya? I can take ya back to the ship if ya want.” Luffy sat up, drinking some of the water that was sitting on the table next to the bed. You seem to perk up at that, and he grins, setting the water back down before rolling off the bed. You seemed to forget about the crowd watching you, and though Luffy was aware of their watchful eyes he couldn’t bring himself to care. He picked up his hat from where it’d fallen onto the stage, placing it back onto his head. He didn’t bother with the pants. He nudged you to sit up, as you already started drifting off to sleep. “C’mon, Y/N. Sit up fa me.”
Luffy pulled you into his arms, lifting you up off the bed. You grumbled and wrapped your arms and legs around him, not unlike a koala. He giggled as you buried your face into his neck. He knew that when you woke up you’d probably flush with embarrassment at your lack of self-awareness, but he didn’t mind. You were so cute when you were all flustered. Even now, the way you drooled a little bit onto his shoulder was adorable. Luffy sighed with content as he carried you through the doors exiting the stage and down the hallway. 
The captain of the strawhat pirates was so in love with you it even startled him sometimes. The way you kept a level head when he was flying off of the handle. You helped rein him in without smothering him or cramping on his way of life. You balance him out. His heart did little jumping jacks when he met you, and the minute you offered to help him he knew he had to have you on his crew. So he didn’t mind carrying you all the way back to the ship, not at all. You were his, and he’d carry you for miles if it meant he could wake up next to you in the morning.
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Thanks for reading! I may include an epilogue (or a part two) if I feel like it >w<
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sarah-yyy · 9 months
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what: period cdrama // 40 eps, roughly 45 mins each (we’re on ep 29 atm, paid subscription required for vip eps) where: iqiyi (you can also dl the app) // youtube // (ps - usual disclaimer that i do not use eng subs so i don’t speak to the quality of subs) why: do you enjoy jianghu mysteries?? double/hidden-identities??? the shifu-complex trope??? enemies to friends (with a v Divorced-Exes vibe)?? this is the show for you. would enjoy if you enjoyed the blood of youth.
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meet Li Lianhua, a somewhat famous jianghu doctor who is rumoured to be able to bring back the dead. this chill but odd man lives in a super cool caravan he built himself! spends his free time gardening and learning how to cook! he's got a cute pet dog as a companion! he is in his Zen Era, everything is going great for him*.
but i promised y'all hidden identities so, surprise surprise!! Li Lianhua is also known as Li Xiangyi, presumed dead master of the Top Jianghu Sect who has been MIA for the past decade
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Li Xiangyi was poisoned + seriously injured in battle ten years ago, and for a variety of reasons, decided to retreat from jianghu to live his life in relative peace (while also searching for the remains of his shixiong). the poison he suffers from is fatal, it is emphasised he doesn't have long to live. (*except for the dying bit)
ANYWAY. while going about his day to day, Li Lianhua meets:
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Fang Duobing, wannabe jianghu detective. this boy has a++ martial arts skills!! he's (relatively) smart!! he would make a good detective!! but his attempts to do so have been foiled by his Super Influential™ parents who do not want him in harm's way. all my boy wants to do is to successfully enrol in jianghu detective academy and travel the lands!! solve crimes!! he eventually weasels his way into a probationary position by telling the masters of the academy that his shifu is Li Xiangyi
cue extremely fun exchanges like:
FBD: if my shifu li xiangyi could see me now- LLH: your who???????????
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these two have a funny strangers to jokingly enemies (LLH made a fool out of FBD and like drugged him the first time they met) to begrudging partners solving crimes to friends dynamic going on, absolutely a+++. FBD goes from 😤 at LLH to must protect this weak man i have decided is my best friend really quickly. i love one (1) boy.
there is also another key character in this, which really just. is the cherry on top of everything that the show has given us so far.
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meet Di Feisheng. "villain" extraordinaire. has one (1) goal in life - beat LXY. "killed" LXY in battle ten years ago, but suffered severe injuries himself, so he's been recuperating for the past ten years.
imagine his goddamn surprise when he fucking meets LLH who he thought he defeated ten years ago. (side note: LLH is supposed to look nothing like LXY, but DFS recognised him p much instantly!!) he also learns that LXY was poisoned all those years ago, and was not in his best condition during their battle.
cue DFS going absolutely obsessed with curing LLH of his fatal poisoning so that they can go at it again, this time without any handicaps :)
SO ANYWAY these three go around solving cases together, while LLH/DFS also look into the inconsistencies of certain things that happened ten years ago. all the while the three of them are bickering the entire time.
tl;dr - this is the dynamic we've got going on:
FDB: this is LLH my boyfriend (but he doesn't know it yet) who is also my shifu (but i don't know it yet), and this is his extremely annoying ex-husband DFS who hangs around us and i absolutely HATE (and low-key want to throw in jianghu prison) because they are obviously hiding something from me, but also i would probably die for these two
if you need more convincing:
the cases have all been fun so far - the pacing of the show is quite good, and the cases don't really tend to drag on
the fight scenes are really cool - again, if you liked what they did in the blood of youth, you'll probably like this as well
frail and sickly Cheng Yi, always a bonus
i am going to, at some point, write fic about dfs railing fbd quiet while llh watches, someone hold me to this
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aethelwyneleigh27 · 8 months
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Cod Characters General Dating Headcanons (part two)
+ Random and Some bits of Chubby Fem S/O Headcanons with mentions of different nationality S/O
+ What type of BF/GF they would be
Including Valeria Garza, Farah Karim, Kate Laswell, Alex Keller, Gary "Roach" Sanderson, Nikolai Belinski
+ Some Poly! Farah x Reader x Alex Headcanons
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Fem terms and pronouns like she/her are used for the reader
ꕥ HOPE YOU ENJOY! ꕥ
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My rules for requests and characters I can write for
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Please comment if you want to be added to the taglist, the next part or cod content alone. I also have content for TLOU and Resident Evil, so please specify.
Taglist: @marshmallowinamess
A/n: Hi lovelies! It's me again Lia, currently working on this one while I haven't even posted the other yet because I wanna post early and I love Valeria. Y'all don't got shit on me, I'm writing this shit while I'm in class AHAHAHA. Btw more Resident Evil content soon...
Disclaimers/warnings: Typical Cod things, OOC characters???, Unrealistic, Some suggestive themes and language, I'm so sorry but English is not my first language so please don't come after me. Most of the content I've seen are on TikTok and Tumblr I don't actually play the game but I love the characters so much, same with any other content I have for other video games.
Tiny sidenote: the reader in this has been describe to be shorter than the characters and has been mentioned to have a soft body rather than the muscular type.
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Valeria Garza
ꕥ (Just saying, I'd let her step all over me)
ꕥ The El Sinombre falling in love? No shit she's... semi-normal??
ꕥ Black cat/Doberman girlfriend for sure. She's extremely protective and extremely terrifying when she wants to be. Scary dog privilege if you get it. (Occasionally it's funny to imagine her as a Chihuahua)
ꕥ Dates all kinds of women, body type and other things don't matter to her because she doesn't have a type. If you catch her attention then that's that.
ꕥ Loves spoiling you in everyway possible, just sit pretty for her and she'll take care of everything. Doesn't give a shit on the amount of money she spends on you, you want it? You got it.
ꕥ Loves it when you need her, it's one of the ways she feels loved and appreciated. Would never say it out loud but loves it whenever you show her your appreciation by doing manual labor.
ꕥ The idea of you being her pretty little housewife is sending her to heaven.
ꕥ Spanish pet names galore, culture is something of importance to her so will definitely teach you Spanish if she had the time.
ꕥ Would be interested learning about your culture as well because if you're gonna know about hers then she ought to know what to call you in your language. (Definitely not self-indulgent because I'm Filipina and I know she'd pronounce it somewhat correctly)
ꕥ Doesn't ever let you know about her cartel business. You can never know and she will never allow you to get ever get involved. You're too precious to her and god forbid anything will happen to you, she will destroy the world if she had to.
ꕥ She's more of a masc lesbian, she's the type who likes to be in charge in a "I'm the one who wears the pants in the relationship" way. She's very dominant.
ꕥ Doesn't ever even consider to be submissive, with the amount of shit she's been through. She can be vulnerable with you but in no way, shape or form could you ever top.
ꕥ You're an escape from the life she knew, it was peaceful with you. At first she wasn't used to it, definitely has reoccurring thoughts of something going wrong. You dying, getting kidnapped, falling into the hands of her enemies so constant reassurance.
ꕥ Would absolutely kill for you, no hesitation. The literally definitely of "I would burn this world for you", would absolutely deny it but you know otherwise.
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Farah Karim
ꕥ Tabby cat coded girlfriend, she's down to earth and chill. She's that one neutral person everyone adores, she puts her best efforts into a relationship for sure.
ꕥ Has and will help you do your make-up all the time, doesn't matter whether you asked. She'll observe the specific way you do it and do it perfectly.
ꕥ Sweetest girlfriend ever, she has dominance tendencies but it's mainly because she's quite assertive and often makes the decisions. Can't help it, after all her field of work requires her to one up egotistic men.
ꕥ That being said, I think she's had some mild PTSD about how they treated her. Sure it made her tough and she didn't like to be bossed around (unlike angry Mexican man) but I like to think she keeps you out of it as much as possible.
ꕥ Chubby!Reader headcanon is that she literally would adore you, compliment anything and everything. Insecure? Not on her watch, she just makes you feel so loved.
ꕥ Most definitely has introduced you to Price (I feel like he's everyone's father figure except los vaqueros and characters he hasn't interacted with) and don't worry he's already looking after you as well.
ꕥ Poly! Farah x reader x Alex headcanons:
ꕥ You guys following whatever Farah says, towards relationship decisions anyway because you and Alex tend to be indecisive.
ꕥ Lot's of communication between the three of you even if it's just a small thing, consent is always key.
ꕥ Alex following his two wives around a lot, he's mostly behind you guys all the time.
ꕥ Farah is patient when it comes to a lot of things but especially you and Alex.
ꕥ You get head pats from both of them, Farah is in a more praising manner while Alex tends to be in a comforting manner.
ꕥ You cannot tell me these two won't be down to cuddle in any position because I know damn well they would be. More often it's just Alex wanting to be a little spoon.
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Alex Keller
ꕥ Golden Retriever boyfriend FOR REAL. This man is the type of man to kneel down and clasp the strap of your shoe or heel when he notices it.
ꕥ You know when you pick up something near a corner of a table or underneath it? He's the type of boyfriend to subconsciously cover the edge or corner of that table so that if your head bumps into it then it wouldn't be as painful or even at all.
ꕥ Having said the first one, he also guides your head whenever getting into a vehicle because god forbid you actually hurt yourself. Not on his watch.
ꕥ Understands why you're insecure and definitely offers a lot of verbal reassurance.
ꕥ Is the type of boyfriend to say "Yes Ma'am" when you ask him to do something, doesn't matter whether it's a small thing or labor intensive. It's kinda become your guys' thing now since people take notice on it.
ꕥ Pouty kind of jealous? Not necessarily whiny but makes this sad upset face at you when jealous instead of something like Ghost or Valeria would do where they'd be glaring the person down jealous.
ꕥ Very thoughtful, he pays attention to what you want and what you need and knows the right timing.
ꕥ Forehead kiss giver, you cannot convince me this man doesn't love doing it. Especially when you're shorter than him, loves resting his chin on top of your head or burying his head in your neck.
ꕥ HATES seeing you uncomfortable, absolutely despises it. That's the last thing he wants you to feel when you're around him. Would understand if there's imminent danger around but it would literally being him back to life if you felt safe enough around him even if there was danger because you're confident in his capabilities to keep you safe.
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Kate Laswell
ꕥ (LOVE THIS WOMAN, SHE'S FOR THE GIRLS BECAUSE IT'S CANON. ARGUE WITH THE WALL)
ꕥ She only ever let the TF141 and Nikolai meet you because of course she trusts them enough.
ꕥ They were like "So you're the infamous wife of Laswell huh?"
ꕥ Even before you were married, Kate called you her wife because she was ✨manifesting✨.
ꕥ She loves using it though, sometimes she'd be with coworkers and they'd invited her to go out to pub and drink but she'll refuse saying "Can't, my wife is waiting for me". She'd really rather just spend time with you anyway.
ꕥ Congrats, you made her quit smoking or at least she's trying to. She still does every once and a while when shit gets really bad but never around you because she knows that secondhand smoke is just as bad for you.
ꕥ She doesn't have a type when it comes to people so body is out of the question, if she feels a connection then she feels it.
ꕥ Anything and everything to keep you safe, if something were to happen to you, trust that she'll either get it down herself or if she can't then she'll turn to Price and Belinski for help.
ꕥ As much as possible, she keeps you away from everything. The job she has is just too dangerous and she can't risk you, not when you're one of the only good things in her life that keeps her happy.
ꕥ Definitely a workaholic, something as simple as asking her to eat or rest, maybe take a break. She'll do it, for you and because she knows you care for her.
ꕥ Doesn't half-ass anything, full effort when it comes to you especially when there's a special occasion between you two like holidays, birthdays and anniversaries.
ꕥ Also she loves making you laugh, more often with stories of her experiences with Price and also about how they met.
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Gary "Roach" Sanderson
ꕥ (I CANNOT FIND A DECENT GIF OF THIS MAN FOR THE LIFE OF ME... Here's the credits to where I found the photo)
ꕥ Get this man a makeshift antenna, he would adore it. You made it for him because of his call sign.
ꕥ He sometimes wears it on missions but mostly keeps it so that it doesn't get damage because this man is definitely a horder, not in a bad way just anything you give to him is something worth keeping in his eyes.
ꕥ Gary definitely gives you handmade gifts back, when he knows you'll like something or even if it's at a random, he loves making them for you and he cried when he found out you kept those all in it's own box labeling it your treasures.
ꕥ Very shy and reluctant at first but once he's comfortable, he is tackling you for a hug when he gets the chance.
ꕥ Doesn't talk a lot, (it took me to Google when I saw that many people hc him communicating through BSL) but I like to think he does talk. It's just really selective, like a few words.
ꕥ The first time you heard his voice, you looked at him like "???". He looked at you confused at your reaction and he only realized it when you told him.
ꕥ Think that he'll try to learn sign language within your mother tongue you know, it's too cute not to think about.
ꕥ He gives off soft lover vibes, definitely far more on the gentle side compared to his comrades.
ꕥ Something in me tells me this man rambles but only and I mean only when he's already extremely comfortable around you, not used to using his voice much so expect a bit of stutter. Which by the way, he does this without knowing he's rambling and will profusely apologize with his tone of voice slowly getting more quiet. (This is your sign, comfort this man)
ꕥ Likes to crawl around and climb things for fun, another one of the reasons his call sign was formed. The first time Ghost genuinely screamed was when Roach was stuck on the side of the wall and Ghost saw him there. Kinda like when you see a roach climbing up a wall and it flies straight for you in your direction. (Happened to me by experience when I was taking a shower)
ꕥ He also likes crawling around, like this I mean. Hacker!Reader seeing this on the enemy's security camera while she tries to shut them off is just funny to me idk why.
ꕥ Chubby!Reader? Sign him the fuck up. You once sat down near him and he saw how you thought spread a bit and it was so close to his that he was just resisting the urge to touch. The voice in his head shamelessly thinking of what it would be like if you suffocated him with them.
ꕥ He loves peppering kisses, doesn't matter whether it's receiving or giving this man would straight up take your hands and use them to cup his face, his hands still being over yours and would with wait for you to kiss him or kiss you himself.
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Nikolai Belinski
ꕥ (I have no clue how to write for nik but I'll try my best)
ꕥ We all know him and his jokes about his "wives" which by the way is not true and you know it.
ꕥ He's husband material however he is quite busy, not that he'd barely spend time with you but he is away a lot. There's an upside to this, he constantly calls you (Let's be real, he prefers calls over texts) just to check on how you're doing and he tells you when he's going to come home.
ꕥ Despite all his jokes, he'd never actually make fun of you. Sure he's sarcastic and talks to himself a lot but he'd never go as low as actually making an offensive joke to his lover.
ꕥ Speaking of joking, your laugh is music to this man's ears. Don't matter if you sound like a dying cat, he's still gonna make you laugh.
ꕥ Surprisingly really sweet, people are often surprised to see that man with a lover. He's very thoughtful in a sense that he's observant, sure he's quite absentminded when around you because that's the only space he's comfortable enough to do so but also because he likes listening to you.
ꕥ Does every safety measure in a helicopter possible if he knew you or Gaz would be in that helicopter, he also makes improvements to it and calls it Gaz-proofing because we all know how Garrick fell off a damn helicopter TWICE. (Idk how he does it, Gaz has some serious plot armor)
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thestargayzingheroine · 2 months
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Why A Better World is my favourite "Evil Superman" Story
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So in the last two decades or so, there's been a notable amount of dark and edgy stories around superheroes turning evil and whatnot and most of them really love to do their own expies of Superman. I've never been the biggest fans of these kinds of stories.
And then there's the actual stories of Superman and other heroes being outright villains or at least just massive assholes. In recent years, this has been largely thanks to the influence of media like the Injustice Games or the Synderverse DC movies. It's... honestly become a trope I am tired of.
Because you know the damnest thing? There is a story that does all these ideas really damn well and arguably better. It is the two-parter from the Justice League cartoon "A Better World".
Now, I am aware how most people favouring the DCAU has become a bit of toxic nostalgia at times and it's something I myself am trying to work through a bit. But in this case, I do think it's the best idea of doing an evil DC story, much better and more interesting than the Crime Syndicate, who if you ask me are not very interesting, though I do remember liking the Crisis On Two Earths movie a lot, which funny enough, was originally going to be this two parter before various things led to it being canned and then later repurposed as a direct to DVD movie.
Anyway, my main crux of why I love this story is simple... The entire Justice League turns evil... and the reasons are very much in-character for all of them. You look at the scene with Justice Lord Batman for example.
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As fucking evil as the Justice Lords are... Batman can't quite fully hate his alternate self for his reason for taking part in all this being basically one-step further than his own mission, that no child should ever go through what he did. Hell, I recall reading that the reason the writers had Batman drop his batarang at the end of this scene... was because he genuinely wouldn't be able to come up with an argument to that.
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Superman likewise kills Lex Luthor because yeah, Luthor literally exploited the flaws in Democracy and became president of the US, threatening to kinda basically start world war 3. It's obviously horrible... but Superman is a character whose main motivation is making the world a better place. And if people who abuse the systems of power of the world are hurting people, why shouldn't Superman put a stop to that?
And yeah, Superman should obviously never kill, he's the most paragon of paragons of the DC universe, a man committed to always being better than the villains he fights... but this is him pushed to his most logical extreme. Hell, the main Superman knows this and its why Lex used his knowledge of this alternate universe as part of his plan in the season after this, to goad our Superman into crossing the line because yeah, there's a part of him that could go this far.
But right as Superman is about to apparently finish him, the big guy says this.
"I'm not the man who killed President Luthor. I wish to heaven that I were but I'm not."
Because Superman like everyone else, obviously would have those same thoughts and same urges. He's human.
I've kinda gone off Injustice a bit because to be honest... the injustice games were kinda just this but a bit too edgelordy. Hell, in A Better World, Lois Lane still lives and the whole genesis of it doesn't revolve around her getting fridged.
So yeah, A Better World is probably one of my favourite mirror universe stories because of the fact that well... it really is like looking in a mirror and seeing just how easy the greatest heroes can become evil and how they wouldn't be massively out of character doing so. But also it reminds us that as much as this darkness can tempt some of our finest, the ones who don't go down this dark path are stronger in heart than anyone else. Because when the world becomes a dark and horrible place, it becomes very easy to be just as dark. But even though it can be hard to still try and be a good person even in dark times, it's ultimately worth it. Because good always triumphs over evil.
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writingjjfics · 3 months
Text
Pogues to the rescue!
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Pairing: JJ Maybank x kook!reader, Platonic!Pogues x kook!reader
Summary: JJ and the Pogues come to rescue Y/n from her Kook family party.
Warnings: Kooks
Requested?: Yes! See request here!
Word count: 1.4k
A/N: Guess who's back? back again? It's moi! I apologize for how extremely long this took, life got in the way 🙂 also I did change the request a bit, and got some inspiration from the midsummers episode, hope that's okay! Oh and Sarah is not part of the Pogues for the sake of the story (not my gif)
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The last few hours of your life have been a bore. You were stuck at this table with egocentric old kook people who could only talk about their 'perfect' lives and their well-succeeded grandchildren. You tried your best to show interest, but your mind kept drifting off. You nodded politely at them, and every so often, you mustered up a fake smile to make them think that you were listening to their boring stories.
When you noticed that their attention was no longer on you, which was hardly surprising considering how egocentric they all are, you quietly got up from the table and left. After quickly scanning the backyard in search of your mother, you, fortunately, spotted her in a conversation with her best friends. Taking advantage of the opportunity, you made your way inside the house to use the bathroom.
As you sat down on the toilet, you felt relieved. Not only because you could finally pee, but also after hours of miserably pretending to be anything close to a Kook, you could let your guard down here, even if it was just for a few minutes.
Taking your phone from your clutch, you check for any notifications that you might have missed in the last few hours. While scrolling through Instagram, you noticed your boyfriend had posted a video on his story. In the video, JJ was smoking his Juul, surrounded by the rest of the Pogues who were dancing and singing to some song in the background.
JJ's happy smile, as he hung out with the Pogues, made you feel a sense of joy for him. The Pogues are his true family and he deserves to be this happy and comfortable all the time. Sometimes you were jealous of their relationship. Even though your family has money and shows their love and care for you in their own, unique way, you've always felt like you don't quite fit in with them. It's as if you're the odd one out. At least the Pogues always have each other and their bond is unbreakable.
You snapped a quick selfie and sent it to JJ, showing him how extremely bored you were. After putting your phone back in your clutch bag, you let out a deep sigh, realizing you had to get back to the party before your mom would put up 'missing child' posters. However, as you reached for the door handle, you heard your ringtone go off. A picture you had taken of JJ at the beach during sunset a few weeks ago, filled your phone screen. A warm feeling spread through your chest as you answered the phone, grateful that he had taken the time to call you back.
"Party that bad, huh?", JJ chuckled as he spoke.
"If I have to listen to these fake people for a minute longer, I'll pull a van Gogh myself"
You could hear JJ snickering. "That's one way to answer that question"
"Can't you just hack into a system and send some emergency alert or something?", you whined.
"Honey, I'm definitely not as smart as Pope, but what I can do is try to sneak you away?"
"Tempting as that sounds, my mom would kill me"
"C'mon baby, we both know your mom loves her reputation too much to kill her daughter", JJ joked.
You rolled your eyes. "Very funny JJ, besides I don't want to be a burden to the rest of the Pogues."
You heard JJ scoff. Since knowing JJ, you've met the Pogues a few times, yet each meeting seemed to grow more awkward than the previous one. JJ always reassures you that the rest of the Pogues just have a hard time getting comfortable around the idea that he is dating a kook, or well just kooks in general, and that it's never because of your personality. "Before you know it, they will love you as much as I do", was what he told you occasionally. But you just can't help taking it personal.
"Y/n, stop being so stubborn, and let us help you. I want you here as much as you want to leave that party. Be ready in ten. I won't take no for an answer."
You were about to protest, but before you could, the distant chatter of the other Pogues in the background went silent, indicating that JJ had already ended the call.
After giving yourself a final look in the mirror and letting out another heavy breath, you opened the door and made your way back to the party outside.
Everyone was still engrossed in conversation, and it appeared that no one noticed you had been gone. It gives you a glimmer of hope that you might be able to slip away from the party without your parents noticing. However, at the same time, you can't help but recall a few years ago when you did the same thing, only to receive a month-long grounding from them.
After nervously looking ahead for a while, and making up different scenarios in your head, you suddenly feel a tap on your shoulder. Irritated, thinking it's one of your parents wanting to remind you to be more social, you turn around.
"You look like you could use another drink. Can I maybe offer you this one?"
In front of you stood JJ, dressed up as a waiter, holding a champagne glass. He gave you that annoying but charming smirk of his.
You took the champagne from him and chugged the entire drink, making JJ chuckle.
"Thanks, you always know exactly what I need babe"
You and JJ both laughed and you turned around looking for your parents. Your mother was still talking to her friends, while your father discussed work matters as usual.
"C'mon, let's go before my parents see us leaving". You were still nervous about the consequences, but decided that, that would be a problem for later. There's nothing you want more than to be with JJ right now.
JJ took your hand and quickly led you to the front of the house. Before reaching the gate, he suddenly stopped and gave you a kiss.
"Hi baby", he spoke softly.
You smiled. "Hi, Jay".
JJ gestured with his head towards the gate. "The others are right outside waiting for us." He squeezed your hand to reassure you that it was going to be okay. You nodded and followed him.
As you turned the corner, you saw the rest of the Pogues waiting next to the Twinkie. They were talking, but stopped abruptly when they saw the two of you approaching. Pope waved shyly towards you, while John B approached you enthusiastically. "That was quick"
"Yeah, I thought those kooks would give you more trouble", Kie said, rolling her eyes and emphasizing the words 'those kooks'. You saw Pope nudge Kiara. “Sorry, no offense to you of course”, she quickly realized her mistake. You smiled weakly and shrugged your shoulder. 'Well, luckily I don't see myself as a Kook'.
There was an awkward silence until JJ cleared his throat and walked over to the Twinkie to open the door. "Let's go back to the Chateau shall we?"
You got into the back of the Twinkie first, expecting JJ to follow you, but instead, it was Kie and Pope as John B and JJ got into the front seats having their own conversation. Kie sat beside you and turned toward you.
"Hey, I want to apologize if we ever made you feel unwelcome. We just had to get used to a new person in the group, but we see how happy you make JJ and that is the most important thing for us."
"Yeah, and you're real nice and fun to hang out with Y/n", Pope added.
You smiled, "Thanks, that means a lot to me."
"And I'm actually happy there is finally a girl in this group, I love these boys but I also really need some girl time", Kiara said making everyone laugh.
You locked eyes with JJ who was already smiling and gave you a wink. A few seconds later you heard your phone go off and saw that you received a text from JJ that said "I told you they were going to love you." You rolled your eyes at him, but chuckled nonetheless. You finally felt like you belonged there.
The rest of the night was spent hanging out at the Chateau, laughing, dancing, and getting to know the Pogues better.
As for your parents, you later found out that they had tried to call you many times that night, so you ended up being grounded again, but you really couldn't care less because JJ and the Pogues were helping you through it. They would always be there for you.
aaaah the end!! so so happy I finally finished a fic again. I was busy with my graduation project and had massive writers block, but I'm back! So if you have any requests or you just want to talk to me? LMK ❤️ Okay, love you byee x
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imtotallyokandnormal · 6 months
Note
I can’t imagine how confusing wanting to be hurt for sexual reasons would be for John after everything XD it would have to be very slow, but once he got the hang of it and after many reassurances, they would have a blast.
Ohhh my god ok ok listen I'll explain everything as I write it but...let's just say he will not like it at first-
Reader: gn reader (no genitals described)
Warnings: nsfw, masochism, John gets very worried but ends up very horny, John can be interpreted as dominant or submissive (I believe in Switch Doe Supremacy)
Image link: how are y'all? Tell me about your day
》☆John Doe x Masochist You!☆《
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- Sex with John usually is pretty vanilla, because John doesn't know exactly how humans prefer sex and also because he's afraid of giving into his desires and hurting you in the process. So you could imagine they were extremely confused and surprised to say the least when they found out that's actually what you wanted!
- Whether you asked him to do something pretty kinky or even just something small like giving you a hickey, their reaction would be the same; completely stopping and just staring at you with the widest "what the fuck??" eyes possible.
- "...my dear- I thought humans didn't- like to be hurt-??? Why would you want me to hurt you???-"
- On their shirt (yes in this scenario the shirt stays on because I think it's funny) it's just a bunch of ???
- Even if you tried to explain it to them they'd still be extremely confused. I hope you don't mind the mood being ruined by him asking a bunch of questions because honestly he'd be too confused and worried to continue until they entirely understand.
- John would be trying to just process the fact that even after everything he's done to accidentally hurt and even kill you, you still want them to hurt you? But in a different way? Honestly they really wouldn't get it and would be apologizing for not being able to understand.
- You'd have to start out slow for him to get warmed up to it, like just gentle bites on the shoulder or something along those lines. John would tell you to tell him if it hurts too much, they still don't want it to go too far. Honestly they'd be really nervous about it, arms around your waist as he gently does as you ask.
- Your reactions are what get them to start liking it. If you moan or whimper, maybe move against them a bit, that's when their world opens up. Seeing you enjoy him giving in to his less than gentle nature, even if it's a little bit at a time...oh, it'd start to drive him wild.
- The more you beg him to keep going, the more you urge them on to do more things, to go harder, the quicker John starts to feel the adrenaline rush. You liked this- you liked their form of love, the form he tried taming to protect you. In this context, you even loved it. And you wanted more- oh, he'll fucking give you more.
- They'll start getting rough as you continue, maniacally giggling to themselves as they start to do everything they've been holding back to protect you. He'd get a little drunk on it honestly, seeing you enjoy it so much. It makes them want to see the full extent of your pleasure. They want to see you at your climax, begging or even demanding for him to please, please never stop.
- You'll be completely covered in marks by the time you both are through with each other. Of course John still exercised restraint, and if you asked them to stop they wouldn't even hesitate, but seeing the aftermath of his love decorating your skin, even if it's slight...good lord, it makes him absolutely smitten.
- Oh by the way John gives the fucking BEST aftercare this side of The Uncanny Valley, they are absolutely giving you everything you need. Snacks, a bath, anything you requested would be there in seconds flat. Anything to show you the love you want and need. But it really does make them happy seeing you enjoy a form of love he's more familiar with giving.
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teyvatdreams · 2 years
Text
helping them when they need it
incl. itto, xiao, kazuha, childe
warnings: mentions of injuries / cuts
a/n: childe’s is . kind of angsty ?? still has a little bit of reverse comfort. also takes place before he tries to destroy liyue <3
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itto
you weren’t entirely sure why arataki itto ran to you when he had an allergy attack, but here he was, nearly hyperventilating at your doorstep.
“what happened?” you ask, putting your hand on his shoulder to steady him.
“beans,” he chokes out. “beans,” he repeats, coughing.
“we were getting food and there were beans hidden under his rice,” one of his gang members explains. “we told him to be careful but he was so hungry he took a bite without checking!”
“oh, jeez. come on,” you sigh, helping itto up. “could you guys give us some space?” you look to the three men standing behind itto.
they all nod. “we’ll stay out here if that’s what you need.”
you close your door and sit itto down. his eyes were filled with tears and he was coughing uncontrollably. “itto, you’ve gotta be more careful. this is the 2nd time this has happened in the past week,” you tell him. “at this rate, you’re gonna build an immunity to beans.”
itto rapidly shakes his head. “no way. never gonna happen,” he says with a strained voice.
“just sit here and calm down. you’re not gonna be able to get your breath back if you keep panicking,” you tell him. “do you want some water?”
itto quickly nods. you retrieve a glass of water for him and he slurps it down. “man, you really are a lifesaver,” he breathes. he already sounds better.
“are you gonna be okay? aren’t eating beans like, particularly bad for you? am i gonna have to rush you to a doctor?” you ask.
“slow down, slow down,” itto says between breaths. “i think i’ll be fine. might have to take it easy for the rest of the night, but i won’t die or anything. it was just one bean.” his face scrunches up. “so gross.”
you refill his glass of water, and he drinks it all in the blink of an eye. “d’you mind if i crash here for a bit?” he asks. “just a few hours, tops. i promise i’ll be gone before the sun sets.”
you nod. “that’s fine, i guess. what do you want me to tell the guys?”
“just tell ‘em to head home and that i’m taking a nap here. they’ll be outta your hair then.”
you did just that, and although hesitant, his gang members left. by the time you came back inside, itto was already fast asleep. you didn’t have to leave home, so you just went on with your day and kept an eye on itto.
the sun started to set and itto finally started stirring. “itto?” you ask quietly.
itto’s eyes flutter open and he rubs them before lifting his head. “oh man, how long have i been out?”
“three days,” you reply. “just kidding, it’s only been a few hours.” you quickly add on once you see the look of horror on itto’s face.
“not funny,” he mumbles, setting his head back down. “how am i still so exhausted?”
“well, you are extremely allergic to beans. ‘extremely’ almost doesn’t seem like a good enough word to describe how badly allergic you are,” you tell him. “just stay the night.”
“are you sure?” itto asks after a few moments of silence. “i mean, i’m sure i can make it home just fine. granny is probably worried about me,” he says.
“i understand that, but i don’t really think you’re in a condition to make that journey back to your granny right now. surely she’ll understand when you get back?“ you suggest.
“yeah, you’re probably right. she’d probably be mad at me for walking that much when i’m like this.” he says. he groans. “i need to go back to sleep. my head is killing me,”
“no worries. hopefully you’ll feel better in the morning.” you say.
“hey, (y/n), thanks for letting me stay here while i recover. i owe you big time.” itto says.
you chuckle. “don’t worry about it. you’re not in best itto condition, i can’t let you go around inazuma looking like that,”
he laughs. “yeah, thanks for — wait, what do you mean by that? how bad do i look?!?”
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xiao
“he’s on the roof, as usual. i… don’t think he’s in the best condition. could you please check on him?”
verr goldet’s voice sounded more nervous than usual. as you made your way to the top of wangshu inn, you were just expecting to see xiao exhausted from conquering demons — it was a rare sight, but it did happen. you had never actually seen him physically hurt.
“xiao?” you ask, stepping onto the roof. you couldn’t see him. “xiao?” you repeat.
you hear something behind you. turning, you finally see xiao. you can tell by the way he’s standing that he’s in great pain — eyebrows furrowed, face contorted in a way that makes it only more obvious he’s trying to hide his pain. “you called?”
“verr goldet asked me to check on you… are you okay?” you ask, stepping closer.
xiao grunts. “i’m fine.”
it’s then when you notice his arms are cut, exposing dark gashes on his arm that are the complete opposite of a human’s flesh. gasping, you put a hand on his arm, making sure to be wary of his injury. “what happened?”
“i said i’m fine,” xiao gently moves away from your grasp. “it’s just a flesh wound…”
“it should still be cared for,” you tell him. “please let me look at it.”
xiao crossed his arms before sighing. “alright, fine.”
“i’ll be back in just a moment. don’t leave.”
you quickly go down the stairs of wangshu inn and retrieve a first aid kit. you’re back to the roof in no time and pleased to see that xiao hasn’t left. “sit,” you say, gently helping him sit down. you start to disinfect his cuts.
he doesn’t even flinch. he clears his throat. “…is it bad?”
you shake your head. “no. it isn’t deep enough to need stitches or anything,” you reply. “but whatever got you, got you pretty good.”
you bandage up his right arm and start cleaning the next. “where were you when i got here? verr goldet said you’d be on the roof.”
“i knew she’d send you after me,” he mumbles. “i didn’t want you to see me hurt.”
“why?” you ask. “it’s a good thing i did, right? you could get more hurt if you left these untreated.”
he shrugs. “i suppose you’re right.”
“if you didn’t want me to see you like this, then why did you still show up?” you ask.
“because you called out my name. and i promised i’d be there whenever you did.” xiao replies.
you finish bandaging him up. “you’re good at keeping promises,” you say, packing the first-aid kit up. “so promise me you won’t hesitate to ask me for help.”
xiao pauses for a moment before nodding slightly. when you start to descend the stairs to return the kit back to its place, you feel xiao’s eyes on you, watching intently. “i’m just putting the first-aid kit back,” you tell him. “i’ll be back. would you like me to get you some almond tofu from chef yanxiao?”
“okay,” he says, shoulder dropping in relief. “just… make it fast, please,”
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kazuha
doing business on the docks of liyue, you had grown close to the captain of the crux, beidou. you were the first to welcome her back and the last to send her your regards and well wishes before she left. so when she returned to liyue after a trip to inazuma, she wasted no time to introduce you to kaedehara kazuha.
he was timid, only speaking to beidou, avoiding all eye contact with you — beidou told you once it was just you and her that he had been through a lot recently, fleeing from inazuma after witness his friend get slain.
before the pair left the dock, you called out his name.
“kazuha, if you ever need help, ask beidou where you can find me.”
it was just an offer; you couldn’t deny that his story pulled at your heartstrings a bit. he had gone through so much. losing a friend, fleeing your home nation, suddenly coming to a new nation you don’t know anything about. it was a lot.
a few weeks had passed since kazuha had arrived in liyue. you had only spoken to him once since beidou introduced you to him, but you saw him around the city a lot and would always wave or give him a friendly smile. it wasn’t until a stormy night that kazuha took up your offer of help.
you almost didn’t hear him knock on your door. it almost blended in with the pounding rain against your house. but you checked anyways, and you were greeted with a soaking wet kazuha at your doorstep.
you immediately pulled him inside, running to grab a towel to dry him off. he looked like he was soaked to the bone, his clothes were sopping wet and rain dripped from his hair. you wrapped the towel around him and sat him down.
“i tried to find shelter,” kazuha chuckles as he pulls the towel tighter around his body. “but as you can see, i failed.”
“it’s been raining for hours,” you say softly, throwing more wood in the fireplace nearby. “have you been in the rain this entire time?”
“not the entire time. i was in a cave when the rain started, but the wind started to blow the rain in. so i started to make my way here.” he explains. “it still took some time, though.”
“i’m glad you knew where i was. besides from me there’s only two other houses nearby, and i’m not sure they’d be as welcoming to a stranger.” you tell him.
“after we met a few weeks ago i asked beidou where i could find you if i needed it. since i’ve been here for some time now, i didn’t have any trouble finding you, luckily.” he replies. he sniffles, pushing his wet hair back.
“let me get you some food, you must be starving.” you say, pushing a chair closer to the fireplace. “sit here. get warmed up,” you help him stand and get him seated by the fire.
you quickly go to your kitchen to retrieve some soup you had made earlier while you rack your brain on what to do about his clothes. you had some old clothes you didn’t wear anymore that might fit him; he just needed something for the night. you left the kitchen to get kazuha some food in his stomach.
“here’s some soup,” you say. “you’ll have to change out of those clothes before you get sick, though,”
kazuha nods, taking the soup from your hands and sips it, sighing in relief at the warmth. “thank you for helping me,” he says. “i don’t think i realized how cold i was until i got here.”
“of course,” you reply. “there’s no way i’d leave you out there. let me get you those clothes now,” you go to your bedroom and find the clothes — looking at them now, they’d surely fit him.
when you return, kazuha had finished the soup and was standing by the fire. he had just finished drying his hair; it was out of it’s usual ponytail now. “i’m sorry for causing any—“
“shh,” you shush him. “it’s fine. i offered to help and now i’m helping.” you hand him the clothes.
his eyelids are heavy. he looks so exhausted he could fall asleep standing up.
“i can take you to my room and you can have my bed for the night.” you tell him.
kazuha shakes his head. “no. i can’t do that. i can just sleep out here on the floor.”
“kazuha—“
“i’ll be fine. i’m used to it. having a roof over my head is enough for me.” he says.
you listen to the rain outside for a few moments before nodding. “okay. you can put your clothes by the fire, hopefully they’ll be dried by morning.” you say. “are you sure you’ll be okay?”
kazuha smiles slightly, nodding. “yes. i can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done so far.”
“alright, then. i’ll see you in the morning.” you leave kazuha by himself and go to your own room. it takes you some time to shut your brain off and fall asleep, but you manage.
in the morning, you leave your room and see that kazuha has already woken up. he was back in his own clothes that had dried and had neatly folded yours and set it on the table.
“how are you feeling?” you ask.
“okay,” kazuha replies. “although… i can feel a cold coming on,” he sighs.
“well, you can always come back if you need to. a cold will definitely leave faster if you have proper shelter. i can also get you some medicine from dr. baizhu. i have to deliver something to him today anyways,” you tell him.
kazuha nods, grinning. “thank you.”
you quickly get ready and head towards the harbor with kazuha. the smell of rain still lingered in the air, children were jumping in the puddles left behind while the wild animals drank from them.
“i have to head to the crux,” kazuha says. “thank you again for all the help.”
“you’re welcome. feel free to come by anytime,” you tell him.
he nods, a soft smile on his face. “i’ll definitely consider it.”
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childe
there had been a few times before when you had needed to patch up the mysterious man from snezhnaya — usually just a few cuts and bruises, but for a toy seller, he was getting hurt an awful lot.
so when he showed up on your doorstep, clothes tattered, covered in blood, you knew there was definitely something he wasn’t telling you. but that didn’t mean you were going to deny him help.
silence fills the room as you disinfect his cuts and clean the dirt off his skin. you noticed that body was basically covered in scars.
“you’ve definitely seen me in better shape,” childe finally says, voice strained. he’s still able to crack a smile.
you look to him. even though he’s smiling, you can sense some kind of hurt in his eyes. you quickly glance away. “i have.”
“i appreciate your help. i didn’t know who else to go to. the pharmacy is closed, and i’m not sure i’d get the same kind of help there as i will from you.” childe says.
you nod. “you made the right choice. so, what happened?” you ask.
the question makes childe shift uncomfortably in his spot. “i can tell you’re suspicious.”
“of course i am. am i supposed to think toy sellers get in fights like this?” you question. “either way, i don’t care. we’ve already established some kind of friendship, so…”
“it was never my plan to keep my real job hidden from you,” he admits. “but it would change your mind about me. and it felt kind of nice to have someone who didn’t know what i’m really in liyue for… but everyone figures it out somehow,” he says, chuckling.
“childe…” you say softly. “i’m still helping you. and i plan to do this whenever you need it.”
childe looks to you, with an almost confused and hurt expression on his face. “i’m not a good guy.”
“then i’ll pretend you’re a good guy.” you reply, pressing a bandage onto a cut on his shoulder. “if mr. zhongli trusts you, then surely you can’t be all that bad? i’m starting to get a feeling you don’t talk too highly of yourself.”
childe looks down at the floor. “okay. then we can pretend i’m just a toy seller.”
you pull childe’s sleeve back down to cover the bandage. “alright.”
childe stands up from his seat and heads to the door. “thank you again.”
“are you sure you want to leave? you must be exhausted. you’re already hurt and it’s dark outside. you should really—“
“i’ll be fine.” childe cuts you off. “i shouldn’t take up more of your time. you’ve already helped me this much.” he opens the front door. “i hope i’ll see you again soon.”
and then, he’s gone, leaving you with nothing but your thoughts.
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beelzeballing · 6 months
Text
actually i dont think ive posted my thoughts on ofmd s2 overall here yet have i?
ok here goes: i think it had incredibly high highs, and at some parts i genuinely enjoyed it more than i did the first season, episode 6 being peak imo. however, it had equally abysmal lows with some glaring writing-, tone- and pacing issues that all came to a head in the finale.
i once read someone say that, if you ever feel like a finale ruined the whole story, maybe you should take another look at the story. there were most likely cracks and problems all along, and the finale did nothing besides dashing the hope that these would perhaps be addressed later. very rarely do genuinely well written stories go completely off the rails in the finale and ruin the whole thing.
i think this is applicable here in some ways, SPECIFICALLY in regards to edward. good god edward was a MESS this season, and it's so sad because i loved the starting point! the kraken era was absolutely terrifying and iconic as FUCK but... they shouldn't have leaned so hard into the drama and trauma of it all. don't get me wrong, i loved that it did. it's one of my favorite parts of the season and i'm so glad we got it. but if they wanted this arc to work with the overarching plot as they wrote it, they would've had to lighten up the tone here CONSIDERABLY. had they played the kraken era for comedy then sure! edward's bad youtuber apology would've been funny. his fast redemption would've been less jarring. the lack of consequences less disturbing. but as it stands in the show, this arc is too dark to function with the later episodes.
i feel like they wanted to have their cake and eat it too here. they wanted the gritty drama of ed coming off the hinges entirely but also didn't want to deal with the aftermath of such a heavy arc in their silly pirate romcom. be that due to time constraints and budget cuts or because they were simply unwilling to, doesn't really matter in the end. the result is the same either way: a very tonally messy season with some accidentally troubling implications regarding abuse.
and mentioning troubling implications regarding abuse; izzy. my poor, poor izzy... his arc was absolutely glorious. i liked izzy the second he showed up in s1 and i was absolutely EATING this season up in that regard. and i think in this case, they genuinely did fuck it all up in the finale with that one stupid choice:
choosing to kill izzy was the DUMBEST thing they couldve done here.
ive talked about this over and over and over again. ive reblogged so many meta posts. and still i am left absolutely flabbergasted by how stupid of a decision this was. the fridging, playing at the fallen woman trope, killing the beating heart of the season and the character who delivers what is essentially a thesis statement, killing off the character whose arc is about coming to terms with his disability, having him die in edward's arms, comforting him and apologizing after an entire season of finding community and love outside of edward, the absolutely godawful pacing of it all, the extremely easy and obvious solution of just having IZZY become the new captain of the revenge to mirror s1 and hammer home how much he has developed since then in one go... i could go on. and i have. it was a stupid writing decision, completely fucked the tone and pacing of the finale and took away attention and time from things that really would've deserved a better wrap up (lucius and black pete deserved better)
now. the whole prince ricky & zheng plot line... yeah that shit sucked ass, sorry. they bit off more than they could chew here. i honestly think those are the arc words of this season:
✨️ bit off more than they could chew ✨️
right off the bat: i think he was good as a concept. bringing in a foil for stede who just doesn't Get It as stede does could've made for very good comedy and drama (and to be fair there is some of that). but that shit got away from them extremely quickly. nothing about how he's implemented past his first episode works, and i think this is very specifically because he's mostly played as the comic relief in his debut episode. making this completely bumbling fool, who gets his nose hacked off on his first job, the main villain of your entire season is... definitely a choice. idk. he didn't work for me at all.
ok wow mentioning shit getting away from the writers. this definitely got away from me. this was supposed to be a short lil post. well. i guess tl;dr i loved this season but jesus christ there was a lot wrong with it. if you want to hear more thoughts. ask box is open. be my guest. i have more to say so even if you dont ask i might add more to this at some point but im tired and have work tmrw.
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iiotic · 4 months
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༻༉Alastor headcanons
TW - an opinion
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It's confirmed that Alastor is noted to be narcissistic, not seeing many people quite up to his level. However, that does not make him reckless.
Despite being extremely powerful, Alastor is aware that there are other demons and entities that rival him in terms of power, such as other overlords.
Because of his narcissistic side he'd for example walk into a room and make sure that everyone know that he is here.
- not so good morning everyone! - he said loudly however didn't scream, walking in the lobby of the happy hotel. He wished everyone could pay attention to him. All of the eyes were on him. It worked.
- What the fuck do you wan-
Of course he wouldn't always do something like that. Surely sometimes he would just come in without saying anything. Just being there. Listening
Alastor interacts on better terms with woman in general, and is much lighter in his view of them. It's again comfirmed that he was and is a "mommas boy".
He is somehow a sadist as well. Many people say that the motto of a sadist is "Dominate or you will be dominated." which suits Alastor perfectly.
He'd have a very low sense of empathy towards the group and the people with whom he is in relationships.
„The desire for domination is the most terrible of all diseases of the human spirit”
Alastor would find a person as his "scapegoat". He'd manipulate the person into thinking that he did do much for them and that he is all that they need. That there is no one better than him.
- You're leaving me? After everything that i've done for you.
And then he'd kill them when he would get bored of them.
Now for his little victim. They'd have to be naive and have low reaction capacity.
A healthy person has certain amount of aggressiveness (such as that shown by men playing football), but it is legally chanelled. A sadist, on the other hand does not direct his aggression through the proper channel, he always unloads it on someone who is below him. Someone who has little ability to respond or react
Alastor is not scared of dogs however due to his death, he is not a big fan of them.
As a cannibal he enjoys eating raw meat and is a fan of pineapples on pizza (It's confirmed. ARGUE WITH ME.)
Alastor greatly values manners in others and is personally offended by disrespect and rudeness. He becomes fond of people he sees as especially funny or entertaining. Alastor also values humor, enjoying when people can give him a good view of their misery.
Alastor likes black coffee, but does not like tea.
He can play several instruments; Piano, violin, trumpet and saxophone.
Alastor simultaneously does and does not care about neatness. He doesn't mind being covered in blood and viscera, and will calmly clean up after himself. But he is bothered by other things, such as people being messy eaters around him and such.
I think that he would speak some French, although not fluently.
He isn't much of a fan of sweet things either, preferring bitter tastes, like meat and whiskey.
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(A/N) - I added a bit of canon facts about him in this headcanons. The "Canon" stuff is in his Wikipedia!! Hope this wasn't too bad 🙏
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