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#family drama again just ignore me lol
joodeegemstone · 3 months
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things have gotten to the point where my aunt pretty much openly admitted to trying to fuck us over and we're gonna try to remove my uncle as the executor of my grandparents' estate for misconduct and misappropriation of assets
i just want this over with because i have no money and haven't had any luck finding a job and i think my car is about to be repossessed
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so I'm on this app, Marco Polo, where you stay in touch with people by means of sending video messages. (there are probably other features, but I'm a free user, so I remain blissfully ignorant of them.) mostly I use it to annoy my sister. ("BITCH WHAT IF I GOT A PHALLOPLASTY AND HAD A BABY SHOWER FOR MY DICK. WE COULD HAVE ZUCCHINI FRITTERS. DICK-SHAPED PASTA. BANANAS FOSTER. DO U SEE MY VISION")
anyway, during the Hell Year of 2020, I saw my childhood best friend (let's call her Lee) was on this app. and like.
when I say "my childhood best friend", I mean the Weird Girl next door, who saw the Weird Girl that I was. I mean the girl I played with from age five until just shy of eleven, when my family moved away. I mean the girl I played with every day, for hours and hours, making up all kinds of elaborate scenarios involving our menagerie of stuffed animals. there were multiple overlapping, soap opera-style plotlines that lasted for years. there was drama. heartbreak. glory. she was the first friend I remember having. she was the first girl I ever loved, in my five-year-old way.
well, I hadn't seen Lee in at least 20 years and I was like, "holy shit! Lee!!!" so I sent her a "hey, nice to see you here, how you been" message.
again, this was late 2020.
now, I had been on T for a scant three months when I sent the first message, so I was a mere baby child, relative to the gruff manly man I am now. no beard, my voice had only started to wobble, still had tits... you get it. keep this in mind, it'll be important later.
I never heard back from her, but we're both Old, so I was like "eh, she probably forgot she installed the app" and forgot about it. we'd exchanged text messages at some point during the Hell Year, but like many people my age she doesn't really text, and I'm not calling anyone if I don't have to, so our communication had been sporadic, at best.
well. today I got a notification that she sent me a reply on Marco Polo.
I figured, well, she's replying to me 3.5 years late, but better late than never. I have ADHD and no friendship degradation mechanic, so I'm excited! yay! friend! :D
and then I remember. "...oh shit. she doesn't know I'm trans."
so. the thing is. I'm from Mississippi, which is. very very fucking conservative. I know Lee grew up Southern Baptist. I also know she's still living in the same town where we grew up and where she eventually graduated from high school and college. last I checked she was still attending the same Southern Baptist church where she grew up and her remaining living parent is still living in Lee's childhood home.
so this is either going to be Fine or it's going to be a disaster. lol.
in thinking it through, I figure either she's seen my updated profile pic, where I have the beard etc., or she hasn't. so either she's going to acknowledge this change or she isn't. okay. these are the possibilities. so I watch the message.
...the secret third option is... she seems to not realize when I sent the message? "sorry, I missed this when I was at work!" girl. what? I mean, you probably did miss it while you were at work... three and a half years ago. possibly she meant to reply to someone else and got me instead?
whatever. who knows. doesn't matter.
because I have the opportunity to do the funniest fucking thing in the world now
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itsharleystuff · 8 months
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↳ II. 𝘍𝘐𝘓𝘓 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘝𝘖𝘐𝘋
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Read part one here.
— 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: dbf!Joel Miller x afab!fem reader (no outbreak au).
— 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 10.6k (once again, I’m sorry)
— 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: after your steamy encounter with Joel during your homecoming party, things between you have been stagnant. Although, fate seems to be on your side when both Sarah and your dad have to leave town for a short while.
— 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬/𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: 18+ content (minors dni!), sex, p in v sex, Joel hits it from behind, blowjobs, some teasing, a bit of spanking, pet names (darling, sweetheart, honey), unprotected sex (pls do not attempt), cum eating, taking nsfw photos, Joel tries to be dom but fails, age gap (reader is twenty four, Joel is late forties), reader is kind of a brat, fluff and feelings (yes, this is a warning), alcohol consumption, brief mention of family death. Barely edited, sorryyy. No use of y/n.
—A/N: this can be read as a stand-alone but I suggest reading the previous part for a better understanding. Btw, there’s a couple of Easter eggs from the game in this! Also— I tried making a moodboard and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’ll probably stick to gifs in the future, lol.
“I like Indiana Jones," you babble, taking a sip from your coffee without looking at anyone in specific. "I was twelve and in love with Harrison Ford..."
"Okay, so that's one movie we're definitely not going to watch." Sarah chimes in, lazily chewing on her scrambled eggs. "How do you feel about Robert Pattinson?"
"That depends," you reply, moving your head side to side in a contemplative manner, "are we talking twilight or Harry Potter?"
You hear your dad snort on the other side of the table and see Joel chuckling beside him. Sarah crosses both arms over her chest and raises a brow at them. “What's so funny?"
"Nothing," your dad clears his throat and side-eyes his friend. "Just thought you two were a bit old for those crappy vampire movies. Maybe watch-"
"Forgive me, but I don't think it's a good idea to take recommendations from either of you," you cut him off, leaning back on your chair. "You're both obsessed with die hard, think The Godfather is incredibly complex and in your spare time watch construction programs. We'll be fine on our own."
"Touché..."
It's been three weeks since your homecoming party, and ever since then it has become a habit to have breakfast together every weekend. Today, Saturday, it was the Miller's turn to cook, which consequently had you and your father sitting at their table. As of now, you and Sarah were discussing your movie night, which had to be postponed due to her road-trip to San Antonio— apparently, she and her friend Ellie were going to visit some college campuses there.
It's also been three weeks since that little, hot encounter you and Joel had in your kitchen. And, contrary to your better judgement, both of you were more than eager to spend some extra time alone. Things since then had been uneasy, specially when being surrounded by others; always worried that someone might notice those stolen looks you'd share or sense the palpable tension that rose when you would stand too close to each other.
You try not to think about it. Except when you do. A swirl of memories would come flooding your mind in the most inappropriate moments, creating that heat that made you remember exactly how his fingers felt inside you, his tongue between your folds, the sloppy kisses and that feral, hungry look in his eyes while eating you out, touching you like you were the most precious thing on earth.
"How about pride and prejudice?" the girl wonders, standing up to clean her dishes and snapping you back to reality.
"Shit, I love period dramas!" your dad shoots you a reproachful glare at your language, but you chose to ignore it. "As a matter of fact, most of my designs are inspired by the Victorian and regency eras."
"Oh, yeah," Sarah recalls, "I remember I read about it in one of your blogs. Dad showed it to me, by the way..." Joel clears his throat loudly, making her giggle.
Although she had mentioned it before, it was still kind of weird that he acknowledged your work. At first you thought it was merely because he wanted to connect with you somehow, but lately he'd been asking if he could see your new sketches and would let you borrow some old magazines he had around the house. Your best friend, Sophie, mentioned he might've been trying to show his interest in you subconsciously. And she was that one psychic friend who believed in zodiac signs and angel numbers, so you decided to believe her.
In that moment, your dad receives an incoming call on his cellphone; he excuses himself and heads to the living room. Your eyes lock with Joel's, and the fact that he was uninhibitedly staring back at you drew a smug smile on your face.
"Are you interested in fashion, Mr. Miller?" he sulks out a dry 'no', but you could see him fidget with his watch nervously. "Pity. I thought maybe you could model some of my male designs."
Sarah genuinely cracks up at your comment, slapping one hand on the table. "You want dad to pose for you? Seriously?"
"Why not? I brought my Polaroid camera, I can get some very nice shots." You were partially joking, but deep down you just wanted to see how he'd react.
"I mean, I know dad's got his charm with women, or so they keep saying-"
"No way anyone says that," he rambles.
"But the idea of him modeling is probably the funniest thing I've ever heard."
The fact was that you didn't want to take pictures of him so anyone else could see them. You wanted them exclusively for yourself. A couple of naughty Polaroids to keep around for whenever you were aching for him —which has been nearly every fucking night since your arrival—.
"It was a silly idea," you finally agree, shrugging. Joel stands to take his things to the sink. "Do you really have to leave for the weekend? You're like, my only friend here."
"Uh, about that..." she leans in towards you and you can practically smell a scheme on her. "Would you be mad if I gave your number to someone?"
You can quite literally feel the man standing behind you tense up. "Huh?"
"Yeah, like... To a guy." She moves in her place, but there's still no answer from you. "He's my English teacher. His name is Will and he's super smart, young, really funny and very handsome, I might add. I believe he can be your new male model." Sarah adds that last bit with a grin.
When you turn your head to see Joel, there was a deep scowl etching on his face, his body remaining still as a stone.
"I don't know... As friends, maybe." You weren't sure why, but the idea of meeting anyone new didn't really sound appealing.
She opened her mouth to say something but before she could actually do so, your dad walked in again. He appeared upset, gesturing nonsense and muttering impassively.
"What's wrong?" your tone comes out concerned.
"I have a meeting in Boston," he sighed, resting a hand on your shoulder apologetically. "Apparently it's urgent and I have to catch the next flight if I want to be there by nightfall."
"Oh, don't worry," you smile at him warmly. "I understand. Besides, I'm an adult. I can manage a weekend by myself."
He nods, still seemingly aloof. "I know but- I just wanted to spend some more time with you."
And of course you wanted that too, but saying it out loud could literally bring him to quit his job. He was always very extreme when it came down to you.
"What time d’you leave?" his friend asks him.
"Half past four. Why?"
"I can drop Sarah off at Ellie's and then drive you to the airport, if you'd like." Such a caring friend, Joel Miller. So selfless. Helping your dad out, attending his daughter's every special need...
"Yeah, thanks a lot, man. Take care of my little girl while I'm away."
You see his eyes gleam with a mix of unknown emotions, "Will do."
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
The last few days had been no less than torment for Joel. Each moment that went by in which he didn't get a chance to be near you had him losing his mind. Badly. And it wasn't necessarily a physical thing— not always, at least.
Every morning, he would wake up and go to work, knowing for certain that when he comes back home he'll find you hanging around with Sarah or sitting out on your porch with a sketching notebook on your lap.
He liked to guess what you'd be doing.
Would you be playing board games with his daughter? Watching a movie or baking desserts? Maybe you were thrift shopping with your dad or simply going to the mall. And later on, when he finally gets to see you again, you'd tell him all about it.
Joel also liked to imagine what kind of clothes you'd be wearing. One thing he noticed is that you never stick to one particular style or aesthetic. One day you could be wearing pastel sundresses with ribbons in your hair; the next one could be long, black skirts paired with basic tank tops and multiple necklaces, or even something more extravagant, depending on your mood.
Seeing you was an experience— one that he could never get tired of. It's like every time he sets his eyes on you there's a certain color palette that changes constantly, or the feeling of gathering all your favorite songs into one playlist and then hitting the shuffle button. He never knows what to expect. Hence why he had given up on trying to relate you to the silly things around; like seasons, animals, artists or foods. Instead, he started associating you with feelings.
You were creative, unique and incredibly fearless. In a way, you made him feel uneasy, excited, thrilled, confident and many more emotions at the same time. If he had to describe you in one word, he'd say evoking.
Oh, how you pestered his brain.
He hated how much he thought about you, and how little guilt he felt from it.
Right now he was sitting on the drivers seat of his truck, waiting at the airport's parking lot. You asked him if you could walk your dad to his corresponding gate and he agreed. The downside: it had started to rain, probably not too bad for your dad's flight to be delayed but enough for your clothes to get soaked on your way back.
"Shit, I'm sorry," you muttered, shutting the passenger's door behind you. “The seats are gonna get all wet..."
"Here," Joel takes off his jacket to place it over your shoulders.
It feels warm and it smells like him, "Thanks."
He starts the car without saying anything else, keeping his eyes glued to the road. You, on the other hand, could not stop staring at him. Now that no one else was around, there was no shame in admiring his side profile, the way his muscles flexed and his hands grasped the wheel. There was something inherently attractive about men driving, but- Jesus... This image had your mind roaming around dark places.
Suddenly, realization sinks in— you're alone.
Alone with him.
"I, uh..." he taps the wheel with his thumb, still avoiding your gaze. "I wanted to take you out for dinner. The weather kinda ruined it."
The corners of your mouth hitch up in a silly smile. "Too bad. I really didn't want to be alone tonight."
Joel hums, appearing somewhat distraught. In reality, he was fighting for his life. The clothes you chose to wear today were not fitted for the rain; denim mini-skirt, high pair of boots and a white top that complimented your upper body. He tried not to look at the raindrops rolling down your thighs or note how transparent your shirt has become, forcing himself to stare at your hands and the many rings that decorated your fingers, seeing there the one he gifted you.
"How about you come over to my place?" you suggest, trying to catch his attention. "I'll need a shower and a change of clothes but... Maybe we can do something afterwards."
His tongue darts out to lick his lips, still avoiding your gaze, "Like what?"
This time your voice goes lower, a smirk spreads across your face and something in your eyes flickers; a darker, sensual spark.
"Oh, you know..." your hand carefully comes to rest on his knee. His thigh tenses but he doesn't say or do anything to push you away. "Whatever you want."
He swallows hard, feeling the pads of your fingers run circles on his leg, your nails mildly scratching over the jeans in a way that raises goosebumps on his skin and eases his nerves.
"I've got a better idea," he says, keeping his tone calm —barely—. "Why don't you come to my house instead?"
Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, "Sure, but- what about my clothes?"
And then he smiles cockily, as if this had been his plan all along, "Wear mine."
Well, there was absolutely no way you were going to turn him down. With a bit more boldness, you slide your hand a few inches up his inner thigh, still rubbing soothing patterns. His jaw clenched, but remained silent and apparently unbothered.
"Joel?" his name rolled off your tongue sweetly, in a way only you knew how to. He uttered a 'hm?' in retort. "Did you miss me?"
"I've seen you nearly every day," he answers playfully.
You laugh, stopping your movements and simply resting your palm there. "So... No?"
"Didn't say that, darlin'." The truck suddenly stops at a red light as he exhales heavily, giving in to you at last. "But I'll let you guess."
A push and pull game, like a cat chasing a mouse. Your smirk widens. "I don't think so. Not as much as I have."
His eyes scan your body from head to toe, the way you sit with your legs slightly parted, back laying flat against the seat and face turned towards him with heated cheeks and low gaze. Unexpectedly, your hand draws back from his lap as you start looking through your purse and a frown forms on his face, baffled by the loss of contact.
"Which is why..." you take the Polaroid camera out and see a whole shift in his eyes, like he's about to burst in laughter. "I brought this."
"No," despite his categorical denial, you still held the object up.
"You have a green light," he curses under his breath and you hold back a chuckle. "Just let me have one, please."
He sighs in defeat, "Why'd you want that?"
The rain had started to settle down but the air was still pretty cold, all that could be heard besides your own voices being the drops that crashed against the car.
"Cause you're handsome," he rolls his eyes sarcastically. "And I like you."
Hell, you were always so straightforward. It made his heart jump inside his chest, wondering if it was gonna burst out.
"You won't like me as much once you meet that Will dude," Joel prattles through gritted teeth, remembering his daughter's suggestion from earlier.
"The guy Sarah mentioned?" your brows furrow subtly. "Why? What's up with him?"
He yanks his head to the side, glancing over at you for a second, "Nothin'. Just thinkin' out loud." In spite of your puzzled expression, he decides to grant your wish. "I'll let ya' take it. But only if I get one in return."
Your lips purse in a smile, "As many as you like, Miller."
He doesn't say anything in response, but his grin doesn’t fade either and you managed to capture it on paper. The image slowly started to become visible and your first thought was how well it captured the whole 'Joel Miller' essence. It was a simple photo of him driving with one hand on the wheel and the other arm thrown lazily over the backseat. That denim shirt hugged his arms exquisitely, the rolled-up sleeves adding to his appeal. He was looking at you when it was taken, so you could see more than half his face— and the way he was grinning, you couldn't help but think he appeared so much younger when he did that. The entire thing felt so much like him: snuggly, blue, genuine and you absolutely loved it.
"There," you show it to him as he started to pull over. "Isn't it nice?"
"Just keep it to yourself, aight?" the man grumbles.
"F'course," with a spark of joy, you slide the photo inside your wallet. "Wouldn't want anyone else peeking at that gorgeous smile of yours. That's a treasure of my own."
"Shut up-" he rumbled, turning his face the other way and opening the door, seemingly flustered. And out of all the amazing things you've accomplished in your life, making this rugged looking man blush was probably your greatest pride.
When he helps you out of the car, holding your hand firmly and cleaving to your waist; you wanted nothing more than to kiss him under the pouring rain, wildly and unhinged, just like last time. But this particular spot possibly had too many curious eyes of which you were unaware of. He obviously doesn't need to guide you through his house, since you already know nearly every corner of it, except for one. His bedroom. And apparently, that's the precise location he's taking you to.
"Please excuse the mess," he says, placing one hand on the door handle, "I haven't had a woman in here for ages, so I'm afraid I probably won't live up to your expectations."
"Joel," you snort, "it's been a decade and a half since you last dated anyone. Trust me, my expectations are pretty low."
He scowls, squinting both eyes. "You didn't have to say it like that..."
It's honestly better than you thought. His bed is nicely done, brown bedsheets striking as warm and welcoming; the walls were painted a pretty, light shade of blue that matched the grayish curtains on the left. The drawers in front of his windows had a bunch of stuff scattered on top of them: a CD player along with a few music discs, some papers, a cap and a pair of reading glasses, batteries, one screwdriver and a framed picture of him and Sarah at the beach. Meanwhile, the nightstand simply had one lamp and an alarm-clock on it. Over the bed's headboard were one poster of a music festival, the image of a landscape and an advert of what you guessed must've been a club, that read 'tacos and beer" on it. The door to the bathroom was on the right.
Messy, yet tidy at the same time. Very Joel-like.
"No way..." you murmur, eyeing the guitar beside his bed. "All this time I thought it was a myth."
"What?" he asks from behind you.
"Dad told me you used to serenade girls back in college and that you wanted to become a singer." A giggle escapes your lips, unable to contain it. "I remember saying he was surely making it up, but..."
"I didn't- I mean..." he clears his throat, scratching the back of his neck and feeling his chest swell with your laughter. "Oh, shut up!"
"Make me." The lingering, mischievous smile on your face made his heart pound and blood rush. "Come on, Miller. Shut me up, I dare you."
His eyes darken, but you don't falter for a second. He doesn't move a muscle, solely watching as you took off his jacket and threw it to the bed.
"You dare me?" his voice goes drops an octave, following your every move closely. "That's rather bold of you, sweetheart."
"Mhm," without breaking eye contact, you start taking off your boots. "And yet you're doing nothing about it."
Joel starts walking towards you slowly, holding your gaze intently. Your hair was damp and your clothes were still wet; it didn't really matter that the air was chilly cause you still felt warm all over. He soon invades your space, cupping your chin in his big hand and lifting your head upwards.
"Well, you're awfully quiet now, aren't ya'?" his hot breath fanned across your cheeks, the gap between your faces being basically invisible.
"I'm just waiting for you to start singing some random song by Alabama or Johnny Cash," you scoff. "Like a good ol' Texan ma-"
He doesn't let you finish the sentence, abruptly crashing his lips into your own. Joel isn't delicate about it and the fervor with which he kisses you makes your body stumble a few steps backwards. Your shoulders hit the wall and he pins you against it as your mouths find a way to mold perfectly, at a much nicer pace than last time. You throw your hands around his neck and let your fingers tangle in the curls around his nape, tasting the fresh mint on his lips. His hands rest on your hips, chests pressed together as the temperature kept rising with each second that went on.
You part your lips in order to grant him deeper access, feeling his tongue slide past your teeth and meeting your own in an ardent, heated way. It was perfect, until he broke apart, looking down at you with an asserted confidence.
"You really know nothing 'bout country music," he says in between shaky breaths, beaming. "S'that what you wanted?"
"Yes," you manage to say.
"Then say 'thank you'," Joel indicates petulantly, stroking your bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. "Go on, don't be such a brat."
You blink twice, your brain still buzzing with the sensation of mouth on you, barely capable of processing anything else. "But I want more..."
"You'll take what I give you."
Shit, when he said it like that- "Thank you."
"That's my girl," he straightened his back, opening the door next to you. "Now, get your pretty ass in the shower before you catch a cold, 'kay?" You roll your eyes and hear him chuckle. "There's clean towers under the sink. You can take some clothes from my drawers, or Sarah's if you feel like it. I don't think she'll mind."
"Understood." He can tell you're annoyed, which he finds funny.
"Don't be mad at me, angel." Joel tugs a strand of hair behind your ear. "Promise I'll make it up to you."
You nod distractedly, lost in the cocky spark on his eyes. "I'm not mad. Just hoping you fuck me real good if you're making me wait for it."
Your words almost make him choke on his own saliva. "Sweetheart, you're making it real hard for me to be a gentleman."
It makes your ego boost, in a sense. "I'll be quick. Can you get something for dinner, though? I'm starving."
"Shit, darlin', pick a struggle," he mocks as you enter the bathroom, "are you horny or hungry?"
"Oh, you jerk!"
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
6:15 pm.
You take a quick glance at Joel's alarm clock once you come out of the shower. It's been little more than an hour since your dad's plane took off. You hope the rain hadn’t made his flight any difficult, cause the weather turned out to be quite a blessing for you.
The cozy feeling of a nice, warm shower after being soaked under the rain was starting to settle in your bones, making your limbs relax. Then you realize, you smell like Joel. The scent of his soap, his shampoo, even his laundry detergent, is all over you. It's intoxicating in the most fantastic way possible, making your insides burn with a thrill of excitement. You took one on his flannels, —dark green with red stripes— and decided to wear it without anything besides your underwear. It was pretty big anyway, and covered just the necessary areas.
You slid your socks back on when all of the sudden you hear the faint sound of music from the floor beneath. Curious, you walk towards the noise, finding out Joel was in the kitchen, crouched down in front of the opened fridge. The CD player that you saw earlier on his room was now on the table, playing a melody that you recognized almost immediately.
"I like this song," you say, leaning against the wall. "That's Billy Idol, isn't it?"
"Yeah," he recalls, taking out a medium sized plastic box from the fridge. "Tommy made that mix. There's plenty of hits from past decades. I think you'll enjoy it."
The man finally turns around to face you and his face fails to hide his surprise. The way his prying eyes sweep your body in detail, taking his time particularly on your bare thighs, almost made you feel self-conscious if it weren't for that shadow of desire that crossed his eyes and the way his nostrils flared from a contained breath.
"How is he, by the way?" you ask, still on the subject. "Haven't seen him in a while."
"Who?" he clearly forgot what he had just said.
"Your brother," you call to mind, "how is he?"
Joel sets the box down on the table and drifts his gaze back to your face. "Fine, I guess. Last time we spoke he said he'd go to Dallas." He takes two glasses from the pantry and what it looks like a bottle of wine. "I-uh... There isn't any real food in here besides those strawberries and chocolates that this guy brought for Sarah. Should I order something?"
You shake your head and walk over to him, "This will do. Won't she get mad if we eat them, though?"
"Don't think so," he replies, pouring the red liquid into the glasses. "I'll blame you if she does."
"Oh, okay-" you cock an eyebrow at him and hold back a giggle. "Thought you didn't like wine."
"It's a fancy drink," he explains, "s'only for special occasions."
"Oh?" you take a sip from it, eyes boring into his. "And what's tonight's?"
Joel smiles conceitedly, jutting his chin out. "I've got you all to myself."
You snort, feeling the heat soar across your cheeks. He takes the snack box and with a sly gesture asks you to follow him into the living room, the melodic sound of the eighties tune turning to background noise as you do. The only lights on are the ones in the kitchen and the lamps beside the couch, shining a perfect light on his features.
"Come here," he calls, the leather squealing under his weight when he sat down. You set the glass down on the coffee table in front of the tv, going to sit next to him. "No, sweetheart," he grabs your waist and pulls you closer to him. "I meant here."
His legs part slightly, making room for you to sit on his lap. Your smile broadened toward a soft chuckle, settling yourself on his thigh. Joel immediately gets his hands on you, one on your lower back and the other merely resting on your upper leg.
"So, who's this mystery man that's been giving gifts to your darling daughter?" he scoffs in response, reaching for a chocolate from the box.
"Honestly? No fuckin' clue." You hum in surprise, drinking from your wine. "She never involves with them, thank god, and once they meet me they never come by again."
"I see,” you muse, “you're the overprotective type," you bite on a strawberry next.
"I wouldn't say it like that..." he sees the sarcastic glimpse on your expression and holds back laughter. "It's a dad reflex, I can't control it."
"Right, sounds convincing."
You stretch your arm behind the couch, setting your elbow and laying the side of your face on your palm. His face is very close to yours but all you do is simply stare at each other; Joel's big brown eyes glimmer with infatuation. “Can I ask you a question, sweetheart?" he asks lowly. "Somethin' more serious."
You wince in confusion, but still nod, "Sure."
He inhales sharply, taking a couple of seconds to actually say what he meant to. “Why are you here?" your frown deepens at his words. "I mean- Texas. I know you said you wanted to make up for the lost time with your old man, but... I feel like there's something else you're not saying."
It takes a minute for you to really sink in on his question. You nearly gulp down the alcohol before setting the glass down, avoiding his ardent gaze.
"Honestly?" you sigh, "There's so much to unpack that I don't even know where to start."
"Try." Although he didn't sound harsh, the effort he was asking you to put in wasn't something of your liking.
"Well, first of all," you meditate, clearing your throat, "the city didn't feel like home since my mom passed. It made me realize how much I missed here." He nods comprehensively, caressing the exposed skin of your thigh in a reassuring manner. "And then there's this- fear. Yeah, I guess it is fear... I've managed to accomplish so much in such short time that it actually fucking scares me to go any further and see that-" you stop, sighing and shaking your head. "That I've reached my limit."
For a moment, there's just silence floating between you, all that could be heard were the rain and a song by tears for fears.
"Darlin', look at me," he asks softly but you can't bring yourself to do it, embarrassed by your confession. "Please, let me see those pretty eyes of yours."
And it's practically impossible for you to deny him anything. Specially when he asks so nicely, when his hand grabs the side of your face so gently— you give in, just like that.
"You're afraid to succeed because you don't know what to do with yourself afterwards. Is that it?" You nod faintly. "Can I speak frankly?"
"I have a feeling you will anyway-"
"Yeah. A bit of tough love, but you need’a hear it." Joel strokes your cheek sweetly and you get shivers from the affection in the action. "Sweetheart, I know what you're going through. Shit feels like it's either moving too fast or not moving at all. And I know how scary that is. Trust me, there's still plenty of time for you."
You square your eyes to his, "Sure, bet you were frightened when you were twenty four."
"Terrified," he spoke truthfully. "Everyone I knew was getting married, moving out or working their asses off."
"And you?" he grunts, taking a strawberry from the box. "What were you doing?" Joel eats the fruit patiently, simply staring at you silently. "Come ooon, don't play hard to get."
"Gotta promise you won't laugh."
It's a tricky business for someone who makes fun of everything, and yet you simply reply: "I swear."
"Fine," he rasps out in fake annoyance. "I used to make my own guitars and- sell 'em sometimes. I'd also teach guitar lessons and horseback riding."
Your eyes widen in surprise and something flutters in your stomach. "Shit, that's actually pretty cool!"
He groans, rolling his eyes at the same time, "I told you not to make fun of me."
"No, no- I mean it." You shuffle on his lap, resting a hand on his chest. "And you sound passionate about it... Why'd you stop?"
The man shrugs his shoulders, tightening his grip on your waist. "It went well for a couple years but I eventually had to get something more solid. More so after Sarah was born." He takes a deep breath in, the smell of his own shampoo on your hair hitting his nostrils and catching him off-guard.
"You should teach me," you suggest with a smug grin. "I always wanted to learn."
"What, guitar or horseback riding?" he wonders, suddenly nuzzling his face on the crook of your neck.
"Guitar. I'm pretty good at riding, if you must know." You feel him chuckle against your body, his facial hair scratching your sensitive skin.
"We'll see 'bout that," his voice comes out husky as he starts kissing along your jawline.
Joel's common sense jumped out the window long ago, but the string of self control that kept him sane all this time couldn't bear the weight of you wriggling on top of him, semi-naked and with his scent all over you. Something primal took over him, a glimpse of possessiveness that he didn't believe himself capable of feeling towards you specifically. He wanted you to wear that flannel around town so people would look at you and know who it belonged to; whose bed you've been visiting. He wanted you to smell of his cologne so other men would know that you weren't free for them.
Your fingers run through his soft curls, messing his hair while he grabs the back of your thighs and manhandles you onto straddling his lap. He nips and licks over all your vulnerable areas, making your breathing start to labour. How could he possibly know this well the easiest ways to have you so desperate this quick? Leaning into his touch, yearning for him even with the smallest action? He wasn't aware of the answer himself, he just knew.
Joel instinctively throws his head back when you tug at his hair and seize the opportunity to duck down and lay a sweet kiss on his forehead. His hands coast up your thighs, splaying his fingers on your ass to squeeze the flesh. You hold back a giggle, kissing the curve of his nose before catching his soft, soft lips on yours.
He slides an arm around your waist, pressing his palm between your shoulder blades to keep you as close as possible. You feel your nipples harden when his tongue ran along your bottom lip— tauntingly slow, until you allowed him full access to your mouth, letting him taste the sweet mixture of wine and strawberries on your tongue. But his vehemence didn't make you any less eager, kissing him back with just as much passion and vigor, sinking your teeth into his bottom lip and mildly pulling at it with minor strength.
The action ignites a fire within him, seeing you on top, feeling your fingers roam around his cheekbones and along his jawline like you knew just how much fucking power you had over him... It was a new sensation, a new kind of desire he didn't recognize at first.
Joel's lips were swollen and his own excitement was starting to feel evident underneath you, which created a blunt ache between your legs. He usually appeared so big and mean, with those broad shoulders and permanent scowl on his face. Now, though... He seemed like he'd let you do just about anything with him, to him— it didn't really matter as long as you kept staring at him like that; through heavy lids, eyes sparkling with a profound, desperate need that spoke without words, saying 'only you get to see this side of me'.
You start grinding your hips against his, rubbing your clothed core above his growing boner in small, calculated circles as you shore yourself up with a hand to his chest. He merely admired you from his position, letting you have your way with him; all the while his gaze reflected patience, like he could take over the situation any second but enjoyed watching you lead.
"Joel," you call his name, leaning forward to kiss his chin, moving your lips all the way down his throat and feeling the nice scratch of his beard. Your hands grab the collar of his shirt as you come up to whisper in his ear: "Stay still."
Panting, he narrows his eyes in confusion, "What?" Though you don't give him enough time to figure out your words, getting back on your feet and parting his legs further with a light thump of your knee.
He observes your every move quietly, amused by your confidence and determination when you drop to your knees in front of him. Joel's cocky expression doesn't sway, not even when you drag your nails across his inner thigh, inching closer towards his very visible hard on. However, his body betrays him, selling a whole different story. His muscles tense, his jaw clenches and his Adam's apple bobbed up and down.
"Stop being such a fucking tease," he hissed, refusing to place his hands on you.
"Or what?" you drawl, coming to rest your palm on his crotch. A simple, feathery touch that made his pulse accelerate.
"You'll regret it," he warns grimly.
"S'that so?" you start to unbuckle his belt, way too slow for his liking, tugging down the zipper of his jeans. "I think I can handle it."
He smirked, his hand slithers to the back of your scalp and forces you to lock eyes with him. "Don't test your luck, sweetheart."
You pout mockingly, doing exactly the opposite of what he was saying while dragging down the fabric just enough to free his cock. Your new found courage falters for a second, finally seeing him in all his size and girth. He was, by all means, a big one, the amount of precome oozing on the tip telling you just how much he loved being teased, despite whatever words came out of his mouth. The mere sight of it sent a new heated wave of slick between your thighs.
Joel mimicked your expression scornfully, brushing his thumb across your cheekbone, "Too big for ya'?"
"None of that," you wrap your hand around the base, not really applying any pressure; though the sole warmth of your touch was enough to give him goosebumps, "we'll make it fit."
"That's my girl."
With a chuckle, you lower your head to kiss the inside of his thigh, the pads of your fingers softly grazing the veins on his length. His whole body shudders, leaking onto your hand and letting out a subtle gasp as you spread kisses all along his shaft. Your eyes peer into his soul when you gently place your lips to the slit, tasting the salty precome as he calls your name in what resembles a desperate plea. In a swift move, you finally take the tip in your mouth, swirling your tongue around it and deciding to put an end to his suffering. He mutters a gruff 'fuck' when you attempt to take him farther, pumping what you couldn't yet fit and snaking your free hand under the hem of his denim shirt to caress the soft skin of his belly.
"Shit, darlin'-" you feel the heaviness of his palm simply resting on the back of your head, not pushing or forcing you in any way, but allowing you to adapt to his size. "The only way to get ya' to stop talking is with a mouth full of cock, ain't it?"
You hum in response and the sensation is completely enrapturing for Joel, his callused fingers tangle in your hair to ground him as he releases a shaky breath. It's a huge challenge to focus on anything else but him; your mind whirring with a familiar dizziness while you bob your head up and down his shaft, intoxicated by the taste of him, the smell of him and every sound that escapes his lips, making your clit throb with need and your arousal pool in your panties, uncomfortably sticking to your skin.
For Joel, it's overwhelming.
He's never really been the noisy type during sex but heck— you were doing it for him. He's a panting mess above you, his hips buck ever so slightly in tandem with your mouth, trying not to lose it entirely. Your spit drools down his dick and the way your dark, dilated pupils sparkle with lust as you hollow your cheeks around him pulls a groan deep from his throat.
"That's it, you can take it," he coaxes when your nose nudges his pubic bone, the head of his cock hitting the back of your throat. "Good fuckin' girl, just like that..."
Enticed with the praise, you keep repeating the motion, sliding one hand to hold his hipbone for support and feeling his burning skin under your touch whilst the other plays with his balls to aid his pleasure. The obscene slick sounds mix in the air with his hoarse cursing, the rain and the faint music of kings of leon, sex on fire.
He looks so good from this angle, chest rising and falling with heavy, irregular breaths, head thrown back and both hands on you, keeping you angled for his cock. Drops of precum roll on your tongue as you keep changing the pace at which your head moves, tears welling in your eyes and jaw going slack. Shit, you're aching for him so bad that the only thing you can think of to relieve the need is squeeze your thighs together in order to create some friction. And it works, the action eliciting a moan from you that makes him fucking whimper your name.
"Bet your cunt's drippin' just from sucking my dick," he muffles a laugh that turns halfway into a sigh when you pay special attention to the ruddy, sensitive tip. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum-"
You can tell he is by the way his cock twitches in your mouth; his spine straightens at the heat gathering between his legs and he tries to pull you off against your will, uttering a warning that you chose to ignore. Joel's lips part in a throaty groan when he reaches his high, feeling the outline of your fingers digging harshly on his hip, your hand rubbing his length and your tongue lapping at his slit, taking in every single drop of his release until he's spent, right before pressing a soft kiss to it that makes him shiver. And hell— contrary to others, he tasted good; warm and thick, coating your senses.
His heart beats aggressively against his ribs and he loosens his grip on your hair, allowing you to get back on your feet while resting your hands on his waist. Although his eyes are barely open, he can quite literally feel your smile when you chastely kiss his lips. He chuckles breathlessly as you sit beside him, tugging himself back in his pants.
"We're not done yet," he says, grabbing the back of your knee and promptly engulfing your leg around his waist, maneuvering your body so that your back rests against the couch and he's crouched down, caged in the middle of your thighs. "I said I'd make it up to you and I will."
"Well, you've certainly got some stamina in you, old man," you poke fun at him, raising a hand to move those rebellious curls away from his eyes.
Joel smiles, caressing your cheek affectionately. "Always got somethin' to say, don't ya'?"
"Oh, Mr. Miller," you coo, enveloping your arms around his neck, "we both know just how much you love to hear me talk."
"Mhm," he leans down to kiss the corner of your mouth, "yes, I reckon you're right."
His big hand covers nearly half of your face as he holds you still, crashing your lips together. He kisses you deeply, vigorously, in a way that makes you wonder if you could possibly drown in a person's essence. His other palm slides between your bodies to start undoing the buttons of the flannel —his flannel— you were wearing. You can't help but whine when he draws back, watching you from above.
"Joel-" blood rushes through your ears and can feel your cheeks warm up as he takes in the sight of you, his fingers coasting down your throat and to the valley of your breasts, licking his lips when he sees your hardened nipples.
"You're fuckin' beautiful," he speaks freely, without holding back emotion, and it makes your heart skip a beat. "Such a sweet, sweet girl I can't get enough of."
"Then take a picture," you purr, "it'll last longer."
He stares at you through a measuring squint, a lighthearted smile forming on his face. "Since you insist." It takes a moment for you to realize what he means, until you finally recall that there's actually a camera inside your purse; one that he reaches for. "If I remember correctly... You said I could take as many as I like."
You lightly squeeze his waist with your thighs, feeling your whole body burn with anticipation. "I did say that..."
"Let's just pray your dad won't find these hanging around," he ponders, turning your face slightly to the side. "He'll have my head."
"And that would be terrible..."
He takes the Polaroid with one hand, the other coming to grope your breast as he backs off for a better angle, ultimately deciding to wrap his fingers loosely around your neck instead, purely holding you there. You glance at the lens, making your best "fuck me" eyes added to a cheeky smile, hearing him curse under his breath prior to snapping the picture.
"You've got the prettiest fucking tits I've even seen, sweetheart," he snarls, laying a palm flat over your lower abdomen while he waited for the photo.
"Has anyone ever told you you've got such a marvelous way with words?" he suppressed a laugh, safeguarding the picture on the back pocket of his jeans.
"Just a few women." Before you can even begin to act annoyed, he sets the camera aside and leans down to kiss your collarbones, the pad of his thumb kneading circles around your sensitive nipple. "Look at you, honey," he murmurs, "you're so easy to please... Or is it just because of me?"
You're panting, your back arching in response to his constant ministrations, every inch of your skin blushing under his attention. "I think it's-" you're cut off by the sudden need to swallow when he sucks a mark on the vulnerable skin between your breasts, "you."
His body vibrates with a laugh and you feel his hand palm your clothed sex, dragging his tongue over your delicate nipple, gently nibbling at it. You screw your eyes shut and let a single, fluttery moan slide past your lips when his thumb nudges your clit.
"So wet just from giving head?" Joel shakes his head in fake disapproval. "Who knew you were such a horny little thing?"
You are holding onto his bicep for dear life, fearing you might collapse into oblivion if you part from his body. His index glides across your slit over the drenched cotton fabric, making you squirm beneath him.
"You- you tasted good," you babble, mind all over the place. 
"Yeah?" his chest swells with pride, "you should taste yourself, angel," his mouth travels across your abdomen, "sweetest thing I've ever had."
It's pointless trying to conjure a response, you're simply too far gone by now. He hooks your legs over his shoulders and buries his head between your thighs, flattening his tongue against the bundle of nerves. You whimper, running your fingers through his locks and bucking your hips to meet his face.
"Please," you blurt out, "Joel, please..."
"What, sweetheart?" he asks, moving the underwear aside to directly touch your clit, fondling it as he watched your slick coat his fingers. "What do you want?" But you can't conceive an answer, all that could come out of your mouth were those pathetic, desperate moans. "Use your words."
With his free hand he plays with your nipple, grabbing your breast with his entire hand. "I want you."
He tauntingly moves his fingers around your seam, refusing to go any further. "Say it again."
"I want you, Joel."
Cocky bastard.
He licks his fingers clean and starts getting off the couch, leaving you with a confused, dumbfounded expression that nearly makes him crack up.
"You didn't really believe I'd be fucking you on the couch, did ya'?" he teases, but all you can muster up is a barely audible 'oh'. "Come on, let's take this to my room. And don't forget to bring that camera of yours."
Mind still dazing, you obey his instructions, following him silently upstairs as he undoes the buttons of his shirt. For a second, he glances back at you, gifting a soft, reassuring grin before extending his arm to grab your fingers, holding your hand in a pure, intimate touch.
And just for that moment, you forget that he's actually your dad's oldest friend, that he's Sarah's father or any other thought of the sort. He's just Joel. Joel Miller, the only man that has managed to make you feel butterflies in the pit of your stomach, or that made you blush with merely a few compliments.
"Ask me to kiss you," he urges, taking the camera from your hands and carefully placing it on his bedside table, his eyesight fixed on you.
"Kiss me," you don't ask, you downright beg.
He does, though it's not like the previous times. He's tender, almost languid about it. His hands are on your bare hips while yours cup his cheeks; Joel's fingers reach to remove the flannel from your shoulders and moves his lips to the newly exposed skin, murmuring constant admirations. You feel your lungs clench and a tingly sensation on your lower belly.
"I'll take care of you, darlin'." You let the shirt slide down your arms and fall to the floor. "Gonna show you what you've been missin' out on by fooling around with those stupid boys." His words go straight to your core as he takes a step back to sit on the edge of his bed. "Take them off," he gestures to the last piece of clothing on your body.
You compel to his wish, stripping under his prying eyes while he lazily gets rid of his boots. His lips twitch in a smile when he sees the glistening mess he's made of you, promptly dragging you on top of him. Your hands lay flat on his exposed chest shortly before he switches positions, readjusting you on the middle of the bed.
"Joel, please just-" you whine when he keeps playing with your entrance, stretching you with his fingers. Your skin scorches with desire, knees weak from the growing heat on your lower body.
"Stop nagging, sweetheart," he grits through his own lust, his gaze impossibly dark. "I wouldn't want to hurt you."
"Joel, I'm too worked up, I-" you gasp when he curls his fingers inside you, hitting that particular spot that made your toes curl. "Fuck..."
"Come on, baby." He ducks down to kiss the skin behind your ear and his beard tickles nicely. "It's just the two of us now, feel free to be as loud as you need to."
His pants are undone and hanging loosely on his hips, the image being so blatantly erotic that only managed to get you more aroused as you fumble to get rid of his shirt. He chuckles at your eagerness, shrugging it out of the way and haphazardly kicking off his jeans and underwear altogether, discarding them on the floor with the rest of the clothes.
You take a second to revel on his naked figure, his tanned skin, broad shoulders and sturdy chest, the marked collarbones and every noticeable mole. His hair is messy from your fingers, a thin layer of sweat sticks some curls to his temples as his wild, hungry eyes bask in the view of your sopping pussy when he parts your shaky legs further. But the moment of appreciation is brief, both of you being edged and spurred on.
He maneuvers a hand to your lower back and aligns your hips with his, watching the way your hole drips for him, wetting his bedsheets. You're a panting mess beneath him, lightly scratching his shoulder-blades and biting on your bottom lip, looking up at him doe-eyed and all splayed out for him to take. Joel wants to tell you just how badly he's longed for this— how he's been yearning to have you so achingly bad. But right now, feelings overrun his thoughts, especially after hearing his name spilling from your lips, begging for him to take you.
"Relax, darlin'." Joel teases your slit with the head of his cock, rubbing it along your sex and coating it with your slick. Your head tilts backwards, dipping on his pillows, small whines keep spilling from your mouth. "I won't go easy on you."
"Great, cause I don't want you to-" your slurred words get muffled by the sudden feeling of intrusion as he finally buries himself in your cunt, letting out a filthy, guttural groan.
You close your eyes, feeling lightheaded and staggered from the way he was filling you up so nicely, the stretch being a tad painful at first, but the kind of pain that could only ever feel good. Then your whole body quivers from head to toe.
"That's it, you can take it," he mutters, peppering kisses to your chin and collarbones as he bottoms out. "Fuck, you feel divine-" The tight, warm grip you welcome him with resembles nothing he's ever had before. This is new, this is you.
You bear down on his cock, enveloping your legs around his waist and lifting your hips to encourage him. He holds you down with a firm grip around your neck, starting to set a pace with his hips as he draws out and then back in slowly, roughly, making your back arch. Your erect nipples brush against his strong chest and create a delightful friction that has you moaning louder than you could've expected. You're amazed by the way he thrusts into you, somehow mindful to hit every right spot inside you —needless to say that it was something that others could hardly manage before—, his pubic hair tickles the skin below your belly button, sending shivers down your spine that prompt you to drag your nails down his back.
"Look," he indicates, despite your inability to even think straight. "Look," he repeats harshly, using the hand that was on your hips to tilt your head downwards, forcing you to stare at where your bodies connected. It was obscene, the wet noises of your pussy and skin clapping against skin sounding purely pornographic. "Look at the mess you're making."
"Joel, I-" you can't form sentences properly, all your attention being focused on how good he's making you feel. "I'm so close, for god's sake..."
"Lemme help with that," he speaks breathlessly, pining your leg over the crook of his elbow to make his thrusts deeper, more precise. You cry out in bliss, feeling the heat expanding from your stomach to your legs. "Yeah, you're close, I can fuckin' feel it- fuck..."
Your walls flutter around him, squeezing his dick just right. He knows he's in too deep when you call out his name like it's the only word you can remember, when he wallows in the glorious view of your pretty face contorted in pleasure. He looses the grip on your neck and strokes your lower lip with his thumb, prodding you to keep eye contact as your orgasm washes over you. It's electrifying, a feverish kind of sensation that gratifies every nerve on your body.
He rests his forehead on your shoulder, overcame by the intense feeling of euphoria that your body was providing. You realize in that moment that the reason why Joel could fill that void so easily was because he kept prioritizing you above him. Your pleasure was his, too.
"Jesus Christ, Joel-" you mewl when he abruptly pulls out, “… Worth the wait.”
He laughs shakily, kissing your lips shortly. "Turn around, sweetheart. I want to fuck you from behind."
With a buzzing dizziness, you follow his instruction. God, right now you'd do just about anything if he asked you to. You notice movement from his part and patiently wait with your butt up in the air for him to stuff you again; instead, you hear the familiar clicking sound of the Polaroid camera.
"You fucker," you chuckle, "did you just take a picture of my ass?"
"Couldn't help myself," he groans, caressing the soft flesh before lightly slapping it. "You look too damn gorgeous." The hit on your skin burns nicely and you can't hold back the gasp that escapes your lips.
"Shit- do that again..."
You can practically hear his smile when he talks, "You into that?" he repeats the action with a little more force and the pain sends a shock of pure pleasure between your legs, your own fluids dripping down your thighs. "F'course you are, I should've guessed with that attitude of yours."
He plays with your swollen pussy, enjoying your tiny moans and the way your legs tremble as you fist the sheets underneath you, burying your face on his pillow when he spanks you again— this time so hard that it probably left a mark. But before the sting washes away he takes the opportunity to enter you in one swift move, holding your hips steady and trailing his fingers along your spine.
"That's my sweet girl," he praises a midst, starting to grind his cock inside you. "Taking me like you were made for it."
This is way more intense, the angle allowing him to hit deeper, harsher. His gruff moans become more frequent as he speeds up his pace, letting you know just how good you were making him feel. The sensation was purely fantastic, melting every thought away and just leaving Joel Miller to fill you in every sense of the word. His hands are never still, roaming your responsive areas, caressing the most sensitive and always taking care of your aching clit.
You might cry from the overwhelming ecstasy— the way his tip constantly hits the depths of your cunt with each relentless thrust has you seeing stars. Joel gets a thrill from the way you can't seem to get enough of him either, throwing your hips back to meet his unwavering pace, clawing at the pillows and moaning helplessly, pushing him close to his climax.
"Joel, it's too much..." you mumble. "Please, I can't-"
He hunches over you, kissing your nape to ease the overpowering sensations, "Yes, you can. You're a big girl, you can take it." And then your vision goes blurry, all you're able to hear being his disjointed, lewd moans; all you can feel is his hard, hot body flushed to yours, his cock twitching inside you and the wetness of your own body. "That's it, give me another one, baby- fuuuck..."
The buildup is so strong you nearly collapse, feeling yourself tremble as he chases his orgasm, fucking you through yours. His fingers reach your bundle of nerves and apply barely any pressure, which has you coming undone in seconds, absolutely soaking his dick and the sheets beneath you, chanting his name like a prayer. A string of curses falls from his lips as he pulls out and quickly manhandles your fucked out self to lay on your back. He exhales sharply through his nose, spilling his load all over your stomach without even touching himself.
You both stay there for a while, catching your breath and looking intently at each other’s eyes before he rolls over, going limp beside you. You stare blankly at de ceiling, suddenly feeling aggressively aware of your sticky skin covered in sweat and cum, the numbness on your lower body that will surely feel sore in the morning and all the marks he's left dispersed on you. You feel satisfied, fulfilled even. Joy bubbles up your chest and comes out in form of a giggle, one you're unable to hold back.
"What?" he asks, turning his face towards you with a half-smile.
"I don't know, I just..." you shake your head, still laughing. "I don't know."
He chortles in disbelief, holding out a hand to take some tissues from the bedside drawer and going to swipe his mess off your tummy and inner thighs. "Shit, I think I might’ve just fucked the sense out of ya'."
Joel sets himself between your parted legs, laying the weight of his upper body on top of you, resting his chin on your chest, eyes boring into yours. He looks so young like this, despite the greying hair and the small wrinkles, his beautiful brown orbs sparkle ever so brightly under your attentive gaze.
"What will your dad say when he returns and finds out his only daughter has completely lost her mind?" he jokes, cradling you in his big arms.
"Come on," you roll your eyes playfully, "we both know that if I had been in my right mind since the beginning, I probably wouldn't be in your bed right now." He doesn't reply, but his smile doesn't fade either. Joel nuzzles his face on the crook of your neck, kissing your pulse zone briefly before closing his eyes. You run your fingers through his hair, softly massaging his scalp in utter silence.
The wind was howling outside, rustling the tree branches, but at least it wasn't raining anymore. You can feel Joel's heart beating against your ribs, his deep breaths fanning across your shoulder and his unique scent all around you, on you. In spite of the cold air, your naked bodies are warm enough to stay comfortably in this position, at least for a while— however, there's something deep inside you that doesn't want this moment to end.
"Hey," you call him lowly and he hums in response, "can we order pizza?"
He nods faintly, "Anything you want, honey."
Anything.
If only.
"I'll call," you say. "Any specific requests?"
"As long as there isn't any pineapple on it, we're fine." You glance down at him, almost appalled.
"You don't like pineapple on pizza?"
"No. That's disgusting, come on."
"Oh, grow up!" he opens his mouth to retort, but when he sees your dismayed expression he can merely bark a laugh that you get infected with.
"Order whatever you want," he whispers in your ear. "But you'll have to promise something."
"What's that?" you raise an eyebrow, intrigued.
"Say you'll stay," he murmurs, slightly hesitant. "Stay here and spend the night with me."
The proposal takes you by surprise, so much that you actually stopped breathing. You ponder wether if you could or you should; because, at the end, what would a night really mean? What could possibly change?
Nothing, right?
Besides, no one had to know.
(...)
A few moments later you're downstairs looking for your phone, wearing nothing other than his green flannel. Joel decided to take a shower while you ordered the food and you chose to walk around the house, paying attention to the little details you hadn't quite noticed before.
Now that you see it, there are plenty of horse images here and there. Very Texan of Joel, you can't deny. Lots of pictures of Sarah growing up, some of him and Tommy and a good deal with your dad. None of his ex-wife. In fact, there's no proof that she even existed. You decide not too think too hard about it, since it was none of your business after all.
You pour yourself a glass of water and wander your eyes across the amount of pills he usually takes. Anxiety pills, painkillers, vitamins. What could possibly be troubling this middle-aged man so bad? Again, you decide to turn a blind eye and simply pick up the phone, expecting a message from your dad to tell you he arrived in Boston well and safe. Instead, you find that your direct messages in social media have new requests. Curious, you open them to see what the fuzz was about.
Hi!
This is Will
I don't know if Sarah mentioned me...
I'm her English teacher, haha
I hope you don't find this creepy, your profile popped up in my 'people you may know' section and since Sarah said she wanted to introduce us, I thought I might just say hi 😉
Honestly, with everything that went down you had nearly forgotten about Sarah's 'you should hang out with people your age' speech. And now that you were stalking his profile, he appeared to be maybe a couple years older than you— handsome in a boyish, intelectual way, if that made sense. Apparently, he studied in New York too, and lived in Queens.
Hi!
Yeah, I reckon she did
What's up, Queens? :)
You don't really expect a reply, not giving much thought to anything in the moment. Though, an involuntary smile twitches your lips when there's a quick message that reads "Not much, Brooklyn" and the writing bubble underneath.
After all, having a friend in Austin wouldn't hurt.
399 notes · View notes
apomaro-mellow · 7 months
Note
3 though idk how much it will help but I love drama😅
oh my god you instigator LOL I also tacked on @goodolefashionedloverboi's request too
First part
He should've known that telling Eddie to shut the hell up would yield the opposite result. The phone calls were so constant, that Steve stopped picking up. When he saw him coming down the sidewalk, he walked the other way. Eddie had even started to try and send messages via the kids and wasn't that pathetic?
What was more pathetic was how hard it was for Steve to do all of this. He wanted more than anything to hear Eddie out, to find out that maybe his feelings were real all along. But there was no such chance.
There was a panicked moment when Eddie came to his work and he saw him talking to Robin outside. But Robin, steadfast and loyal and just as bitchy as him, told him to step off.
"I knew there was a reason I kept you around", Steve said he pushed a mail cart around.
Robin dug her hand in and handed it off to the white collars of Hawkins in the office building they worked at now. "I felt like a bouncer at a club."
Steve thought he was doing a good job on the break up mend. He hadn't spoken to Eddie in days, he hadn't rebounded on some poor soul, and he only cried late at night when he was all alone with his thoughts.
The moment he thought he was up though, was of course, when the universe brought him back down. He knew Dustin's house was a danger zone, what with the odds of Eddie being there. But Dustin had invoked a Code Red on the walkie and Steve came barreling down the road, nail bat at the ready.
Once again, Dustin pointed him in the direction of his cellar. Steve vividly remembered what Dustin had been keeping down here before. He went down the stairs, heard a familiar voice cry out "No! Wait!" before the door shut above him.
Steve held his bat defensively. He was down here with someone. He was about to swing when a lightbulb turned on and he was face to face with Eddie. Honestly, Eddie might've been safer from his bat if he was a stray demodog.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"I don't know", Eddie held his hands up in surrender. "But if I had to guess...I think Henderson wants us to talk."
"Did you put him up to this?!"
"Eddie didn't put me up to anything!", Dustin shouted from above. "You two need to get your shit together. I'll be back in an hour. Don't have make up sex in my cellar."
Steve tried opening it up but they were sealed shut until Dustin, or perhaps Mrs. Henderson let them out.
"The nerve of that kid", Eddie huffed.
"Right? Where the hell does he get it from?"
"Not from me. Us Munsons are humble. He must've gotten it from your side of the family."
Steve smiled as a traitorous breath of laughter came from him and he clamped it down immediately. It wasn't fair. Eddie couldn't do this. He glared at him, ready to blame the whole situation on him even though he was probably tricked as well.
"Don't look at me like that", Eddie said, his voice soft.
"I'd rather not look at you at all." Steve turned his back on him, hoping he could ignore him until they were let out. He came face to face with the mended part of the wall that Dart had dug out years ago. Such and odd series of events that led him here, that led him to Eddie. Just for it to end like this.
"Steve-"
“I fucking hate you.”
“No you don’t. Take that back right now.”
"I won't."
"Then look me in the eye and tell me."
Steve turned and he wished he hadn't. All he saw in Eddie's eyes was heartbreak. He knew because it mirrored the look in his own eyes. But it couldn't be real. It just couldn't.
"You should be in the movies, you know that? Give Hollywood a run for its money."
"Steve just listen to me! I'm sorry for playing with your feelings. I really am! But I wasn't lying when I said I want to be with you. Steve I l-"
"Don't you fucking dare." Steve's grip on his bat tightened. "Don't say that if you don't mean it or I swear..."
"Steve..." Eddie took a breath and stepped closer to him, incredibly aware of the weapon in his hand. "I love you."
Steve dropped the bat and Eddie pulled him into his arms. Steve wanted to beg for so many things. For Eddie to always love him, to treat him gently, to make him believe that he wanted him forever. It all came out in the form of tears.
"If this is another joke-"
"The only joke here if that I had you and fucked it up like an idiot."
"You really want me?", Steve sniffled.
"Baby, baby, baby", Eddie cradled his face and wiped some of his tears away. “I’m not even gonna lie, I’m just so fucking obsessed with you.” He wondered how many of his messages got through to Steve in the end. "Did you listen to any of my voicemails?"
Steve allowed a small smile through. "I think if I did, I would've caved in too fast. I'm obsessed with you too. I love you, Eddie. Too much probably."
"I'll be the judge of what's too much. And you, Steven Malcolm Harrington, are not too much."
Eddie kissed him and Steve felt whole again. Then Eddie kissed him again and Steve felt more than whole. In between the kisses, Steve started to laugh.
"I can't believe we're making out where Dustin kept his pet demodog."
Eddie jumped up into his arms. "His pet WHAT!?!"
Send me a dialogue prompt
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chans-room · 1 year
Text
Craving Connection — 1
Warnings: reader has nickname Sugar Plum, familial drama, self-deprecating thoughts, mentions of anxiety, allusions to abandonment/abandonment issues, discussions of toxic former relationships, discussions of cheating in said former relationship, Chan calls her ex a cunt (derogatory) multiple times lol, a little bit of spice but it’s very mild bc they’re in public but there’s a somewhat staged ~fake dating~ PDA moment I’m earning that tag on this one babes. Tbh that’s pretty much all there is before we swan dive into it 👀
Length: 4k + text conversation
A/n: so I am a backstory heavy bitch and I can’t seem to start my SMAUs without a few written chapters soooo sorry about that? Also I’m sorry this has taken 8000 years, I’m already working on the next part and have a fair amount of future chapters done so hopefully I’ll be able to update this pretty frequently. Thank you @bibbykins and @j-a-nuary for making this legible. also everyone can thank @gimmethatagustd for how the last scene turned out 🖤
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October 1, 2021 — 5:20am
She bounced on her toes, eyes scanning the small crowd of people pulling suitcases behind them for the familiar freckles of her favorite cousin. She knew he — and the friend he had brought with him — had landed, but the minutes seemed to drag as she watched families and friends reuniting all around her, in the dead of the night.
But the crowd thinning made her palms sweat. The fear that her parents had found out, and gone against their self-imposed rule to never speak about her again, and that Felix had changed his mind about her. 
“Felix! You can’t just drop your shit here, mate!” A voice called out, making her stop in the midst of her aimless pacing and her head snap toward the direction of the sound. She only saw a flash of black before someone slammed into her chest, knocking the wind out of her as they crashed into the floor. 
“Sugar Plum, I’ve missed you so much!” Felix’s deep voice nearly reverberated in her chest from where he laid on top of her, deceptively strong arms constricting around her. 
Tears pricked the corners of her eyes as she giggled, tightening her grip on him, “You have no idea how much I missed you, Lix.”
“I’m so happy to see you,” he sighed, loosening his grip to hover over her, a pleased smile on his face. “Come on, we have so much to catch up on.”
She rolled her eyes, letting him pull her off the ground before wrapping her in another tight hug. It sent a deep pain through her chest, the moment mirroring the last time she’d seen him — standing in that very airport 2 years before, saying goodbye to him before he left for Seoul. They had cried and promised to see each other at Christmas, Easter, and on every overlapping holiday they could find. It was a promise she regretted breaking — but it was one she had no control over. That had been the first of many days she felt truly alone; and if she’d known what would follow, she might have gone with him then. Maybe if she had, she would still have a family. 
“Felix!” The same voice from earlier called out, making them both look over their shoulders to find the source.
He was gorgeous, even if he was angry. His strong brows were furrowed over narrowed, sparkling brown eyes. “Oh! Good, you’re here,” Felix smiled proudly, before gesturing toward him and clearing his throat, “This is my friend, and roommate, he owed me a favor, which is why he’s here. Besides, his birthday is in like 2 days and I’m such a good friend, so I brought him home to see his family. Aren’t I the best, Chris?”
Dread shot through her at the name; she couldn’t seem to escape memories of him. She pushed down the bitter taste in her mouth — she couldn’t be unfairly judging her cousin's friend just because he shared the unfortunate fate of having the same name as her ex. 
Fortunately, her momentary battle with her brain wasn’t noticed by either boy, seeing as Felix was ignoring the way his friend’s plump lips were pulled tight into a grimace, his strong jaw clenching in anger as he dragged three suitcases behind him, his thick arms piled high with various sweaters and a bouquet of flowers. She bit her lip to suppress a laugh as he glared daggers at her cousin, his gaze softening slightly as he took her in, before hardening again as he refocused on the boy next to her.
“Felix, if you abandon me again with all of your shit, I will leave it behind,” he seethed, dropping the pile of sweaters on the ground with a muffled thump, earning an indignant scream from Felix.
“That’s Hyunjin’s cashmere!” He yelped, diving at the pile. 
The glare faded into an endeared smile as he watched Felix dust off the sweater, shaking his head fondly before turning his attention to her. He held out the bouquet, the soft smile on his plush lips pushing his cheeks up to make his eyes nearly disappear into tiny crescents. “He got these for you back in Seoul. He made the flight attendant put them in water for nearly the whole thing so they wouldn’t wilt. I’m Chan by the way.”
She could feel the tears well up in her eyes again as she took the flowers from him, trying to still her shaking hands. “Thank you,” she forced out, internally cringing at the quiver in her voice as she did. She cleared her throat before tearing her eyes off her cousin, willing away her tears, “So… Chris? Chan? Do you have a preference?”
“No, not really,” he laughed with a shrug, “Felix is really the only one to call me Chris, except my family. All our other friends call me Chan.”
The admission put her mind at ease as she nodded absently, staring at the tulips in her hands, as she mumbled her name to him, followed by a shy, “Everyone calls me Sugar Plum though.” she shrugged, making him smile.
“Honestly, you can call me whatever  you like,” he said, feigning indifference before leaning in and whispering in her ear, “and Sugar Plum is cute, but I think I’d rather call you mine.”
She choked on a gasp and a giggle as he backed away, throwing her a wink.
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October 1, 2021 — 1:45 pm
“You really don’t have to spend the day with me, Chan,” she sighed, slipping the sunglasses down her nose to stare at him over the edge of the frame, “I know you want to see your family and spend time with them. I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself for one day.”
Chan felt the bittersweet edge to her words, and he hated how they made his chest tingle with unease. The tone of her voice stirred an ugly anger in his gut as he considered why she would be so quick to dismiss herself. It made him want to prove her wrong — to show her that she was someone who anyone would want to spend time with; someone who he wanted to spend time with.
With a big smile, he threw his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his side, not missing the way she bit her lip and tried to hide the grin growing on her face. “Nah, it’s kinda nice to get to see Sydney like this, you know? I’ve never stayed in a fancy hotel like the one you’re staying in. But also I’m glad I have the chance to get to know you better,” he smiled, watching her sink behind her hands. “Besides, Felix will be back tomorrow, and seeing my parents for two days is better than the zero I thought I would.”
“I’m just saying if you don’t wanna be with me today you don’t need to. I’m used to doing things alone,” she mumbled, making Chan frown.
“Yeah, well, I don’t wanna be alone, so you’re stuck with me today,” he grinned, scrunching his nose at her hesitant expression. “Come on, we’re almost up and you haven’t decided what you want!” He could feel her heartbeat under his hand resting in the middle of her back, and part of him hoped that it was because of him.
“Are you always this serious about ice cream?” She asked, staring up at him with raised eyebrows.
“Are you not serious about ice cream? I mean, come on, it’s one of life’s most simple pleasures!” He exclaimed, drawing attention from the people surrounding them. The laugh that tore out of her made his heart race; he’d never heard anything so perfect.
“You just have to cause a scene, don’t you,” she giggled, pressing her face into his shoulder to hide from the disapproving stare of the old woman in front of them who was shaking her head and mumbling to herself.
“Only when it makes you laugh like that,” he sighed, pleased that he’d been able to pull her out of the tense, almost sour mood she’d been in since Felix told her he would be gone for the day. He didn’t need to know everything that happened with their family to know that she’d been hurt, and something about that sat heavily in his gut. What he did know was that it was too nice of a day for her to spend it alone in the hotel.
“So tell me about school. You’re on the soccer team with Lix, right? What’s everyone else like? What do you all study?” She asked, pushing her sunglasses back onto the top of her head, “I want to know all the details before I start next week.” 
The attention turning on him made heat flood his cheeks, cursing the pink tinge he knew was creeping up his neck as she stared up at him expectantly. The look in her eyes made his mouth run dry — he couldn’t feel like that about her. There was no way Felix would let him live if he tried, and as his roommate, he needed to keep the peace. 
But the feeling of her fingers curling around his bicep made his head swim and his heart race. He knew already there was no way he could deny the effect she had on him. He could only hope she felt the same.
October 1, 2021 — 4:10pm
“Do you wanna hang out here or walk around a bit more?” Chan asked, shoving his wallet back into his pocket as they wandered away from the counter.
She felt her heart flutter for the millionth time that day as he looked at her expectantly. She didn’t know if she could ever get used to someone caring about her opinion so much — it was equal parts exciting and unsettling. 
“It’s supposed to rain, so maybe we should start heading back to the hotel?” She shrugged, trying to push the unease out of her mind; trying to convince herself that Chan wasn’t Christian. Felix would never have trusted him if he was.
At that moment she realized she’d almost gone the whole day without thinking of him. But the moment the thought of him passed through her mind, it was as if she’d conjured him. Because behind Chan’s shoulder, she watched him walk through the door, arm around the shoulders of a girl she had only seen once — the night she packed her things and left him.
“Fuck,” she whispered. He shouldn’t have been there, he should have been in Singapore, planning his wedding. Not in Australia, not in Sydney, but definitely not in her favourite coffee shop. It made her blood boil and her hands shake — Christian had refused to set foot inside it again after she had dragged him there the first time. He’d even told her that she was embarrassing for wanting to go back there. But now; here he was with Hanako. With the fiancée he’d conveniently forgotten to mention. 
Jealousy and rage clouded her senses, but the crushing sense of inadequacy that filled her made her stomach turn. He never looked at her the way he was looking at Hanako — so full of love and adoration. She couldn’t even blame him; she was gorgeous. Her silky black hair cascaded down her back effortlessly, and a sweet smile seemed to be set permanently on her heart shaped lips. The more she stared at her the more self conscious she became — Hanako seemed to be everything she was not.
She realized at that moment it was never about the coffee shop; he was embarrassed to be with her.
“Hey, are you okay?” Chan asked, crowding her sight as he pulled her toward the wall of books. His hands cradling her face tenderly made the fresh wave of tears sting in her eyes. She hated it — she hated that he could see the cracks in her, hated how Christian could find new ways to hurt her, and hated that there was still part of her that was affected by him.
“Not really,” she laughed sarcastically, pushing the bone crushing hurt back down. “That guy over there, the asshole with the tattoos and the all black, the one with the girl in the dress? He’s my ex. And I don’t want him to see me.”
Chan’s head whipped around to look over his shoulder, finding them with ease before turning back to face her, “That guy?”
She nodded, “Yeah. And that’s his fiancée.”
“What a cunt,” Chan mumbled, shaking his head. 
She grabbed his shoulders, positioning her in front of him to effectively block herself from Christian’s view, using Chan’s broad frame as a shield, “I can’t stand him.“
“Hey, don’t worry about him, just focus on me,” Chan said softly, shuffling forward to cage her against the bookshelf. “What do you wanna do?”
“I just-I don’t want him to see me. He wasn’t supposed to be here,” she mumbled with a pout.
He nodded before he took a step forward, pressing her back fully against the wall, “I’m gonna touch you, is that okay?” He asked, his hands hovering over her waist. The earnestness in his eyes gave her goosebumps; she couldn’t remember a time anyone looked at her like he was right then. 
“Yeah, you can touch me,” she nodded breathlessly, “Can I..?”
“Of course,” he smiled, shivering as her hands skimmed across his shoulders, one hand gently tracing shapes into the muscle of his chest while the other occupied itself with the curly black hairs at the nape of his neck. “God it’s so stupid but I’m just-like-I have so many questions.”
She laughed and rolled her eyes, tugging his hair lightly, “Don’t say it’s stupid, you’re curious. That’s normal. I’ll answer whatever you wanna know.”
“I’m not sure I wanna know honestly,” he laughed bitterly, “Whatever you tell me will probably just make me want to punch him in the face.”
A soft warmth spread through her at his honesty; it was incredibly refreshing after spending 2 years constantly guessing what Christian was thinking or feeling. For a second she imagined how nice it would be to be with someone like him. But she quickly shook herself out of the fantasy — she barely knew Chan, how could she possibly think she knew him well enough to imagine a relationship with him.
“I doubt it, Channie,” she sighed, looking away from his eyes, focusing on the thin gold chain that sat on his collarbones. It caught the light every time she twirled a curl around her finger, making an image of him hovering over her with his chain smacking his chin as he pounded into her flash through her head. Tendrils of lust curled in her belly — she didn’t know how thoroughly and quickly Chan managed to take root in her head but she knew it couldn’t be good. 
“Well, he’s your ex and he has a fiancée, so I think anything I find out about him is going to make me hate him more than I do right now,” he scoffed before adding, “You’re lucky it’s me with you today and not Felix. He wouldn’t even ask, he’d just start swinging.” 
She couldn’t help but laugh at that — he was right. Her cousin was prone to reacting first and asking questions later. “I mean, that’s fair I guess. But honestly it was barely a relationship. I mean, you and I are being more scandalous now than he and I ever were.”
“You’re telling me he had you and he wasn’t showing you off to everyone with eyes?” Chan asked, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
She shook her head before answering, “We didn’t really do… anything. We didn’t go out, I never met his friends or family and he never met mine. I realize now it’s because I was his side piece and he couldn’t have anyone asking about me,” she shrugged, wishing she didn’t sound so defeated. 
Chan’s body went rigid under her hands, his jaw clenched and his hands tightening on her hips. “What a fucking cunt,” he ground out through his teeth, “If you were mine, fuck, I’d never be able to keep my hands off you. My friends would be sick of how much I talk about you, Sugar Plum — especially Felix.”
The flames of desire surged in her veins again; it was almost overwhelming. She knew Chan was dangerous for her for any number of reasons, but the main one being that he made her want for the first time in a long time. She didn’t realize how much she craved what he was offering until he put it into words. But she didn’t know if he meant it as seriously or as desperately as she wanted it. 
Chan’s voice in her ear made her shiver, pulling her out of the thought spiral that was beginning to consume her. “I really can’t stand this,” he mumbled before a wicked smile spread across his face, “Alright, so, I’m gonna get real close to you, and you’re gonna slip your hand under the back of my shirt, okay? If you’re uncomfortable or want me to back off, I will, but he needs to know what he lost. So he can see you’re not bothered by him.”
Her mouth went dry as she put his plan together in her head, watching the smirk grow as she dropped one hand from where it was resting on the back of his neck, her fingers toying with the hem of his shirt. “You’re evil, just like me,” she breathed, splaying her hand across his warm, muscular expanse of skin as both of his grabbed her hips, adjusting his stance so he could tower over her slightly. “I like that about you,” she admitted, making him chuckle.
He surged forward, his nose bumping against hers, “I like that about you too, Sugar Plum,” he smiled, “Now if you wanna really sell it, I’m gonna dip my head down and you’re gonna pull my hair and kiss my neck.”
“Okay,” she whispered back, feeling Chan’s breath on her neck, his hand sliding into her hair to steer her where he wanted her. Her fingers tightened in his hair on instinct as her lips brushed the junction of his neck — making goosebumps spread across his tanned arms. She felt him shudder, giggling an apology into his skin.
“Don’t be sorry,” he argued, resting his forehead against her collarbone, “It was nice, I just can’t control what my body does when someone like you kisses my neck like that. I mean, it’s really not fair.” 
She was about to apologize again when she felt his plush lips make contact with her skin, but where her touch was fleeting and almost accidental, his lips attached themselves to her neck with force. 
The gentle suction ripped a startled gasp from her. He pulled away with a wet pop, smiling innocently, “Now we’re even,” he shrugged. “I’m sure he’s fucking boiling now. I know I would be if I saw that.” 
It took her a second to remember how their little charade had begun, feeling dizzy because of Chan’s presence and proximity. She had nearly forgotten about Christian entirely, something she couldn’t deny made her stomach flip with both anxiety and excitement. She had to fight through the haze in her mind to even think of a coherent response. “Chan I don’t think he’s looking—“
“Why wouldn’t he be looking? You’re the most interesting thing here. Everyone should be looking.”
The absolute certainty in his voice was staggering to her — she knew he meant it. But she couldn’t understand why. He barely knew her, but he was committing near public indecency just to spite her ex on her behalf. Maybe it was because he was so close with Felix, one of the only people she trusted wholeheartedly and implicitly, but she didn’t question Chan’s intentions or authenticity in the slightest.
It made her want him even more.
“Don’t say that if you don’t mean it,” she whispered back, the words coming out of their own volition. She knew he meant it — but she needed to hear him confirm it.
He surged forward, his nose bumping against hers — a habit of his that she enjoyed a little too much. “Hey, I fucking mean it, yeah? You’re incredible. And just because that asshole couldn’t see it doesn’t make it any less true,” Chan said seriously, pushing a piece of hair out of her face, “You’re so—“
“Babe, what the fuck is all this? Who the fuck are you letting grope you in our place.” 
The too familiar voice that cut him off felt like a bucket of ice water being thrown on her.
She peeked over Chan’s shoulder to see Christian — sans Hanako — glaring daggers at the back of Chan’s head. She opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Chan’s voice, “Excuse you, mate, but who the right fuck are you? And what business of yours who gropes her where?”
A shocked scoff came out of Christian, his eyes narrowing as he assessed Chan, “I’m her boyfriend, mate, which is why I wanna know why you’re all over her.”
Chan threw his head back, a full laugh tearing out of his throat before shaking his head, “Nah, you’re her ex aren’t you? I’ve heard all about you,” Chan rolled his eyes, turning back to face her, his expression softening as he ran his thumb over her cheekbone and down to her lips, gently pulling her bottom lip from between her teeth. She hadn’t realized she’d begun to chew on it nervously as she looked between them, but Chan’s soft smile and gentle hands made the tension drop from her frame. “Why don’t you leave us alone? Don’t you have a fiancée to look after, champ?”
She saw the rage ignite in Christian’s eyes at his obvious insult, his mouth opening to say something that she knew would slice through her straight to the bone — a skill he wielded like a professional through their relationship. He always knew what to say to inflict the most damage the fastest, leaving her shattered in his wake.
But before he could make a sound, her name was being called out — signaling their order was ready — and Chan was steering her away from him. 
She took a single step forward before a hand closed around her wrist, dragging her out from Chan’s arm. “Don’t fucking walk away from me again, baby. You don’t understand—“
“No, Christian. I don’t need to understand anything. You had a fucking fiancée the whole time we were together. Do you know how much that hurt me? After all that I gave up for you?” She couldn’t seem to stop the words from coming out — but if she was honest with herself, she needed to say them. “And before you say anything, to try and manipulate yourself out of the mess you made — I heard you say that I meant nothing to you; that I was just a piece of ass you were fucking around with before settling down. So get your hands off me,” she seethed, glaring at him. Pain sparkled in his eyes as he opened his mouth to argue but she cut him off, “Just stop, Chris; I don’t want to hear it. Now let me go.” He staggered back as if he’d been slapped, releasing her. 
Chan took her hand, making her turn to look at him over her shoulder, “You ready to leave?”
She couldn’t trust her voice anymore, only managing a nod before his arm was around her shoulders, pulling her toward the exit, grabbing their coffees and passing her drink off to her seamlessly. 
With that, they walked out of the doors, not bothering to look behind them. And for the first time in years she felt in control. She didn’t feel like a pawn being used or a prop in someone else’s life. The rush of it was addicting; the electricity of it seemed to thrum under her skin. Chan made her feel powerful, and she never wanted it to stop. 
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Taglist: @bibbykins @j-a-nuary @eureka-its-zico @gimmethatagustd @here2bbtstrash @lovemepie67 @whiplaaaaaaaaash @enaluvs
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sp0o0kylights · 2 months
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hey its me from the "wheres the adopt a jock update, im dying" thing. im so sorry for it. i had know idea there even was a storm and it is 100% not ur job to keep us updated bc ur doing us favour by uploading content, im sorry i took that for granted.
im also sorry this apology came late, i felt to chicken to write one innitially, i dont know if i did end up sending u one, but ur reaction to my ask came up in my feed again and i really wanted to apologise once more.
I'm so sorry for those you lost in this horrid storm and I'm so proud of u for pushing through, everyone is and I hope u know that.
I know this apology doesn't make up for anything but I just wanted u to know that I took in what u responded, u were well in ur right to be pissed off, and I now know for future to type my messages in a kinder way so they don't get taken as a ride remark, I hope u know I didn't type what I said to be rude, not that it matters in anyway.
we're all looking out for u and wish u all the best, have a great day
It's all good fam--I honestly had a few of these messages between here and A03, some a lot ruder that yours, and yours just happened to be the first one I saw when I managed to get a few hours with proper access to Tumblr (Ie not on the craptastic app on my phone, which refuses to let me answer asks and crashes when I try lol.)
Thank you for apologizing, it does mean a lot, and it takes a lot of courage to do it.
It's a weird lesson to learn sometimes, that people who don't know you as well won't always know you're joking/your sense of humor, or may not mentally be in a space to fully comprehend it as a light prod instead of a "hey dude where's my content."
I think it's also a good reminder that fandom is a community first. I know there's a lot of discussion centered around how we're sliding into a more content mill like vibe vs that community, and that a lot of us are getting impacted by it a bit--I'll be the first to say I was more touchy even before the trees because I've had a lot more weird, demanding comments lately than I ever used to get. Not just in ST either--I'm seeing it on my older fics, in fandoms that are significantly smaller and typically very drama-less. While my policy normally is to delete and ignore, sometimes it builds (and then two trees almost kill you by collapsing your house and you start biting heads off after being stuck in a hotel with your family for two weeks.)
Anyway, thank you sincerely, for apologizing. It did not go unnoticed <3
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I know most of the DC×DP stuff is DP/Batfam, but has anyone ever considered Danny meeting Static? Like, sure with the hc that he doesn't like electrical attacks he would probably be pretty wary of him at first, but then realize Staic is a pretty cool dude. But also, Virgil is super reasonable, so could you imagine, after getting used to him, Danny just crashing at Virgil's house to get away from all the ghost fights and his family drama only to be strong armed into self care and actually treating his wounds, even if they will eventually heal on their own in a few hours/days depending on severity. Instant mom friend who he can vent about being a teen hero with. Dakota city is also supposed to be in Illinois, which would make it easier for them to meet if you subscribe to the Amity is in Illinois hc.
Also, Danny being a chaos gremlin and sending Virgil random snap chats at ungodly hours like "does this look broken to you?" Or "should I be concerned about this much blood loss?" Or even the odd "look ma, no head!" Joke is just too funny. Or even mid fight pics like: "Whoever said you can rest when you're dead fucking lied to me." And sends a picture of Kitty and Ember screaming at Johnny in the background behind him.
I just, haven't seen too many non mainstream league crossovers, and I always really loved Static Shock as a kid. I dunno, maybe it's not as funny as I'm imagining it is. Feel free to ignore this.
Ohh i loved watching Static as a kid! I remember having to watch it in secret because my grandparents (who raised me btw) said it was "a bad influence" and I could never understand why. Turns out they were just racist and Static is actually a really good show. 100% recommend yall watch it. I wanna watch it again too its been so long.
Maybe I'll do some crossover prompts once I do, lol. Static Shock deserves to be mainstream media
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kikker-oma · 6 months
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umm I’m feeling cr*ckfic time (censoring cuz don’t do drugs kids) that isn’t even lore accurate sooooOoOoo
and yes I made this when I should be sleeping lol
“I’m not cooking tonight.” The familiar voice of the champion rang through the camp, “I swear if I cook fish one more night in a row I will turn into a cod.”
Normally, a refusal to cook, from the designated cook, would send alarm bells through the chain. But he had a point. This would mark the 17th night they ate fish (Yay, thanks Wind), and honestly, everyone was getting sick of it, even the sailor himself. 
“Ho-Kay then, so what are we going to eat?”
“Have you guys been to a restaurant before?” 
This is when chaos ensues.
“Okay, so you are a party of nine?” A waitress stood in front of the chain. 9 heroes, in probably the worst attire to wear for a fancy restaurant, standing right before her.
Time quickly stepped in, “Yes, nine. Five adults and four children.” That earned him a very aggressive poke on the shoulder.
“Old man, I’m over one hundred years old, I think a hundred and seventeen is over eighteen years of age.” 
“Oh hush you, this bill is already gonna be expensive, plus judging by how you literally ATE a rock the other day, I think we can subtract a century.” 
“Just shut up you both. I am famished.” The pink haired boy let out a dramatic sigh. He just wanted his food.
“Drama Queen.”
All settled around a booth, at the ripe time of 19:17, the boys and men were ready to eat most definitely. 
“Sailor, don’t fill up on bread.” The captain mentioned, slyly moving the bread basket away from the teenager. 
“Oh-ohm-ohn, Imf a owin oy!” The sailor retaliated (or so that’s what it sounded like anyway, you can’t really tell when someone’s mouth is full.)
“Um, ma’am? I think we’re ready to order.” Twilight spoke up. He was stuck between Legend and Warriors, making sure that they don’t beat each other up. Not sure how he got into the beautiful position of family therapist, but it’s whatever.
“Time?”
“Yes Sky?”
“What’s a medium rare?”
“Oh it’s when the meat is only partially cooked!”
“Okay, miss? May I please have a medium rare chicken?” The innocent boy asked. Legend stifled a laugh, and Hyrule looked a little bit shocked.
“Um… I’ll see what I can do, and you sir?”
“I’ll take… actually I’m full!” Wind replied. He could have sworn he heard someone mumble ‘called it.’ But didn’t say anything.
“Oh okay, what about you?” She looked over at Four, who looked deep in thought.
“I’ll have the stuffed bell peppers, but WHATEVER YOU DO… do not use the green bell peppers… or someone is going to get hurt.” Maybe threatening wasn’t the best idea, but then again it’s also a complete valid reason if you are completely afraid of green bell peppers… according to Four and only Four.
“Mhm… got it? And you?”
“Okay lady, listen up. I would like some pizza, but without the crust, and hold off on the cheese.” Legend earned himself a flick from Twilight, “…Please.”
“So… just sauce?”
“Whatever you call it.”
“May I please have the fried wild greens?” Twilight *politely* asked.
“Of course! What about you?” Her eyes fell on Warriors. 
“Do you have any dried fruit?”
“No sir, this is a restaurant.”
“Well, would you like to orange a date?” The waitress’s cheeks flushed, before she quickly moved on to the next Link. 
“Quick question, is the water that you have drinkable?” Hyrule asked, eying his glass. The waitress slowly nodded her head in confusion. “Alright, then I’ll eat a red potion.”
“I’m just going to completely ignore that request, as I have no idea what a red potion is.”
“I’ll have the steak, if it’s no trouble.” Time politely requested. Aside from Twilight, he was basically the only one with a sensible dish. 
“Of course and what about… you?” The waitress looked down to where wild was supposed to be sitting, but somehow he was not there.
“Okay who kidnapped our archer?” Legend bluntly asked. 
“Give me a minute,” Time stood up, “I know where he is.”
“Wild!”
“Okay, and then you see this is how you fry-“
“WILD!”
The champion almost dropped the pan from the harshness of the old man’s voice, “What?!”
“Tell me why you are in the kitchen that says EMPLOYEES ONLY??”
“Because! They weren’t cooking it right. I’m teaching them.”
“Champion, tying people to chairs and forcing them to watch you cook isn’t ‘teaching’.”
“Oops”
“What are you making anyway?”
“Fish.”
HAHA I adore the idea of the chain going to a restaurant and being absolutely weird about it hahaha
Wild teaching the kitchen staff how to cook fish after being DONE with fish in the first place lolol
Wars flirting, Legend eating Marinara haha
Poor Twi is such a sibling stuck in the middle of the other two bickering hahaha
Thank you for this🤣🤣🤣
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Wow I just read your recent story and it's so good! 🤩
If it's okay, can I also request something? 😗👉👈 if your requests are now closed, just disregard this.
But basically, I just wanted to know your take on Ominis and MC's first ever fight. Maybe while they're still Hogwarts students or as a married couple, and why they fought in the first place. Maybe jealously? Or Ominis' family trying to arrange his marriage? Idk, it's your call! 🥰 thank you so much!
Thank you so much, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I had a lot of fun writing it. I had such a great weekend filled with answering really fun asks and fic requests, I’m really happy you decided to send this. :)
OOH THE DRAMA~ I’ve thought about this quite a bit. For Isabel and Ominis in particular, they had their tiffs in school when they were both dumb teenagers, but never anything truly major. Their first true fight was shortly after they were married. I’m glad I finally got an ask that pushed me to stop putting this off.
I’m still hesitant to use Isabel’s name in stories, I know it can be understandably off-putting to read someone else’s MC name in a ship-based story like this, so I’m continuing the tradition of using “MC.” :)
In the Name of Love
AO3 Link
MC learns about a deal Ominis struck to keep the Gaunts from finding them again
Ominis x fem!MC
SFW
MC and Ominis have an argument, that's it that's the post lol. Mention of Crucio being used and its effects.
Word count: 2,131
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
MC and Ominis had spent the past few days in a haze of perfect happiness in their new home. Each morning, they awoke next to one another and wondered if it was a dream. Sleepy, affectionate touches turned to blissful lovemaking, and the pair would eventually leave their cozy nest for a late breakfast before spending the rest of the day at each other’s side. When evening came, they would find themselves back in bed, curled up in the safety and comfort of each other’s arms.
The real world was gradually creeping back into their lives, however, and they knew they could not spend every day thinking only of each other forever; the world would not stop for two newlywed lovers mere days into their marriage.
It had been a warm, sunny June day when the two had finished a particularly late breakfast. A sleek owl darted in through an open window and, with a perfunctory flap, dropped a letter on the coffee table where the pair were happily chatting over post-breakfast tea in the drawing room. The owl perched on the edge of the table and looked expectantly between the envelope, MC and Ominis. Confused, MC tried to shoo it off, but it snapped at her and looked down again at the letter.
“It seems the sender didn’t want you to ignore their letter,” Ominis commented nonchalantly. “It must be quite important if their owl wants to confirm you’ve read it.”
“Surly little beast.” MC glared at the owl as she leaned forward to take the letter, and the owl ruffled its feathers as it glared back. MC turned the envelope over and stopped.
“It’s a Ministry of Magic seal... What could they possibly want from us?” MC muttered while opening the envelope and pulling out two pieces of paper. Beside her, Ominis froze.
“Dear Ominis and MC,” she began aloud, “per our verbal agreement on the sixth of June, 1895, your protection has begun immediately. Henceforth, please expect owls at any time of day or night, as your responsibilities are of the utmost importance and urgency. We understand, per our conversation, that you will be conducting your own business during daylight hours. While we make every effort to accommodate, we cannot guarantee a total lack of conflicts. Any failure to respond appropriately to official Ministry requests will result in immediate termination of your protection. Attached, please find details on your first assignment. For every assignment, Ministry officers will be awaiting you at the prescribed location and time to assist in answering questions and providing further instruction. We look forward to a mutually beneficial working relationship. Kindly destroy this letter upon receipt. Regards, Ministry of Magic, Department of Magical Law Enforcement.”
MC barely noticed the owl make an inconvenienced screech before it flapped out the open window. She frowned in confusion. “Protection? And why was this supposed agreement the day before our wedding? Unless…”
MC turned to look at Ominis with a deeply worried expression. He had somehow turned even paler than normal. “Ominis… what happened that night?”
“Do you not remember?” Ominis replied faintly.
“It was awful… I remember the both of us being kidnapped by your family,” MC replied, her voice growing quiet. Reflexively, she moved closer to Ominis’ comforting presence as she struggled to recall the flashes of still images her mind had not blocked from that night. “I remember your mother threatening me, and then… that must have been when you said she cursed me. I don’t remember anything more... Ominis, what happened?” She asked again, more desperate.
Ominis hung his head and turned away. His icy blue eyes were even more distant than usual. His next words were almost stammered as he nervously recounted that night. “I thought you knew... Your screams—Merlin, I have never heard a worse sound in my life. I knew the pain you were feeling, and I could not bear to stand by and let it happen a second time. I did the only thing I could think to do: I took you and ran. I made it to the Ministry—floo powder, I believe; some details are difficult for even me to remember... I talked to the first auror I found and told her what had happened. She agreed to help until she learned who was hunting us. She suddenly grew quiet and refused to help. She even dared to say there was no substantive proof you were the victim of an unforgivable curse. Eventually I found myself in the office of a higher-up of sorts—Merlin, I never even got his name. He had heard of you and the fact you saved Hogwarts with your ancient magic abilities and was interested. I hated that he thought only of your ancient magic. I convinced him to protect us from my family, but he demanded we return the favor and help the Ministry with whatever tasks the aurors are too overwhelmed to address.”
MC stared into space, a small frown on her face as she processed the torrent of words from her husband. Finally, she looked up at him.
"I... why? And why did you not ask me about this?" she asked, the pain and confusion abundant in her voice.
Ominis took a deep, shaky breath. "My family may not be wealthy anymore, but they are still well-connected—a few of them are likely somewhere in the Ministry. If word got out that the Ministry was actively meddling in Gaunt family affairs, well, I can only imagine how that confrontation would go…" Ominis searched for her hand resting on the couch next to him and held it in both of his hands. "And anyway, you were completely unresponsive. I tried to ask you how you were feeling, but you didn't say anything. The medics at the Ministry told me you were pale as a ghost.”
Ominis paused and drew another uneven breath, apparently collecting himself. “You were in shock, darling. Anyone would be after a Cruciatus curse. But I apologize. I should have reminded you what happened there at the Ministry office.”
MC's voice slowly rose. "You used my ancient magic as a bargaining chip? How are you any better than that Ministry officer? And now we owe the Ministry a large debt—and it sounds as if it was not the most legitimate agreement, either. Whether you had told me the day after or next week, the fact of the matter is that I was not part of a decision that has dramatically changed both our lives.”
MC shifted, and Ominis felt an infinitesimal attempt to slip her hand from his grasp. His heart faltered for half a moment.
"It was the only thing I could think of. I don't want you to ever have to go through something like that in the future. I cannot bear the thought of ever hearing you under that curse again." Ominis’ voice quieted, but it had little effect.
MC huffed and stood up, leaving Ominis’ hands empty on the couch. "Could it not have waited until I could at least give my consent? I have to face the consequences of your decision too, you know. We could have come up with a solution together—we could have discussed it as a couple."
"Then what do you propose we do to keep my family away from you—from us both? And what about our future children?" Ominis glared, hurt. "What could just the two of us do against the entire House of Gaunt, who are now enraged that an outsider would dare marry their defiant son?"
"That very ancient magic you gambled has gotten us out of countless situations," MC snapped.
"You don't understand their power, MC," Ominis protested sharply. "We have fought poachers, backwoods dark wizards and a small, disorganized goblin army in the safety of Hogwarts Valley. The power of my family, however undeserved, has been honed as long as Hogwarts has existed. I couldn't risk another minute of them following us and finding you. I had to make a decision for us both. Between more criminals and my family, the Ministry's offer seemed the lesser of two evils.”
MC gave a sharp, exasperated sigh and paced the room. "I can fend for myself, Ominis. We don't know how they would have fared against my abilities."
"And I hope we never find out," Ominis nearly shouted. "Have you forgotten that you were kidnapped by Rookwood shortly after starting school? What about your close brush with death fending off Ranrok? Professor Fig died protecting you.”
Just as quickly as Ominis felt his temper flare, it cooled again and his voice grew gentler. “MC, you are incredibly powerful, and I am constantly in awe of your abilities, but you do not understand the Gaunts' ability to hurt and kill. The fact that my mother alone caught you off guard does not bode well."
Ominis knew the silence that followed was anything but good. He slowly opened his mouth, but MC spoke before he could ask about what she was thinking.
"This is the same quarrel we had countless times in school—it mattered not if I went out puffskein-catching or saved Hogwarts; you argued I was getting into too much trouble and guarded me like a mother hen. Why do you insist on being overprotective and making these decisions for me?"
"Because I love you," Ominis blurted, his voice defeated. His brows knit together and tears welled in his eyes. MC stopped and stared at him.
“I love you so dearly,” Ominis continued, “and I won't stand by and let you endanger your very life for people like my family. I could never live with myself if I risked your safety by allowing them near you again."
With a sigh, Ominis stood and gently picked up his wand. He walked to the door and stopped before turning back towards MC, who remained inscrutably still and silent. "You are the strongest person I have ever met. You are fearless and protective, and I have always admired your bravery. That is precisely why I feel the need to defend you in return. I cannot simply let you die or be hurt needlessly if I can help it—and certainly not by my own family. I don't know what I would do if I lost your laughter or your loving embrace. Waking up to a half-empty bed every morning would break me. I need you.”
The soft, mournful smile that spread across Ominis’ face reminded MC of the same smile he often wore in school when they first met. “I’m sorry I made such an overwhelming decision without you, and I understand why you are upset about it. I’m sorry I did not tell you sooner. I won’t tell you how to feel. I only ask that you hear me when I tell you why I did it: I cannot risk losing the love of my life."
Ominis had nearly crossed the threshold when MC called out to him.
"Ominis, wait," she said gently. "Come here."
Ominis turned and hesitantly moved towards her. She took his free hand in hers and sat down, guiding him to sit beside her.
"Thank you," she murmured with a sigh. "I am still not pleased about this situation, but I am grateful to know that this is the reason why we are in it. And... I am very thankful you care so much for me. I shouldn't take your love for granted. For that, I am sorry."
"I care for you more than I could ever describe," Ominis replied, voice breaking as he tried to smile. "My family is not worth any risk to your life. I do mean it when I say I need you; I need your happiness. Even if you were to reject me and run off with someone else, I could at least take solace in knowing you were happy. But if you were to die, I would have nothing."
Ominis sniffled quietly and stroked MC's hands with his thumb. She looked between their hands and his downward-cast face and withdrew her hands. When Ominis' face turned upwards in question, she drew him into a tight embrace.
"Thank you," she whispered. Ominis slowly wrapped his arms around her in return and sighed deeply before tenderly kissing the side of her head.
"I'm your husband. You willingly chose me, but you don't deserve what my family did to you that night. I'll always protect you to my dying breath. I love you."
"I love you too.” MC’s voice wavered when Ominis gently squeezed her, and he smiled when he felt her try to clandestinely wipe away a tear.
“We will make this work. I believe someone close to me once said that whatever lies ahead, we must face it together."
"I couldn't agree more," Ominis smiled.
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Note
Hey, I’ve just seen this reddit post and thought you would be interested to see it! It’s quite the prediction of what the rest of the Marvel Studios projects will be leading up to Avengers 5 and beyond.
What do you think? I am probably also burnt out on Marvel projects, but I think I would be interested in most of this as long as it’s of a higher quality than Secret Invasion. 😅 I mean, I definitely would see this Young Avengers film for Kamala Khan… and I’m curious to see how Dr Strange is paired up with Clea. It’s just gotta be good, you know?
Also, I saw in a comment about the TV shows that save for Ironheart (which was filmed last year) all of those are going to be 9+ episodes long. Honestly, that just might be for the best — maybe they finally know what we want. 🤞
Doctor Strange 3 in 2027 😭 Looking at the list made me realize that I barely care about anything lol. I'm looking forward to some of them, but there's a lot in that list I'm not interested in.
Young Avengers...I don't know. I love them in the comics, but I'm not that interested in them in the MCU for some reason. I don't know if it's because of the lack of news about Hulkling, who should've been introduced in Secret Invasion or the Marvels, or a lack of faith in how they'll adapt the characters. I like MCU America, but that's not America Chavez. She's basically an entirely new character who's just America in name and powers, not personality. I have zero faith in their capability to accurately show Billy and Teddy's relationship if Teddy is even introduced. And it's wild if he isn't introduced; how can you have Wiccan without Hulkling? Plus, how are they going to deal with a Jewish boy (if the MCU doesn't erase that, too) having a mother who joined a Nazi terrorist group?
I'll be seated for Kamala (I'll always support South Asian characters), but the ages of the characters are so weird. Kate is 23, and she's supposedly a Young Avenger, but she’ll probably be like 25 by the time the movie comes out. Steve literally led the Avengers at 27. Plus, Peter was 16 when he became an Avenger.
Stephen and Clea have so much potential to be a great couple, but I'm scared that they'll mess it up because the MCU isn't great with romance. They already have family drama since Clea is Dormammu's niece, and the two entered the Dark Dimension at the end of DS: MOM. But I'm scared that they'll ignore that, like how they ignored the Mordo post-credit scene from DS 1. And they'd actually have to give a damn about Stephen instead of making Scarlet Witch ft Doctor Strange again.
I'm meh about Vision Quest right now, but I'll be the first one to watch it if they adapt Tom King's Vision comic for the show and introduce my funky robot daughter, Viv Vision. Vision (2015) is one of my favorite comics of all time.
Wonder Man...ugh. He's the worst, but Trevor Slattery is in it so at least it'll be funny. But he'll probably be very different in the MCU since he isn't connected to Wanda and Vision. He better stay away from Carol, too.
I honestly forgot Ironheart was coming out 😭 But yes, you're right. All of them have the potential to be great, but that's doubtful looking at their track record lately.
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infinitydivine · 1 month
Text
My March summary and Life lessons
Hello Everyone.
For me, March started with a shock with Grandpa having a heart attack and being admitted to ICU for the first time. It took a toll on my mental health especially and I almost went into depression. Days continued and his wealth fluctuated like waves. I started being paranoid about his health and couldn't sleep at night and kept checking on him. I also had mini episodes of anxiety attacks. Then someone decided to "expose me" which fortunately didn't go according to her plans. I still continued looking out for everyone and ignored my mental and physical health for him. But recently a new family drama broke out and I was considered the villain because I refused to agree with my aunt and grandpa and confronted them when they were speaking ill of us despite us doing everything for them (they called me and my family thieves and it was basically about my aunt spending money for her father's treatment).
I am dumbfounded and shocked at the same time looking at their behaviors towards me.
But despite everything I still believe in doing good and I will continue to believe in good. The major lesson learned here is to Never ignore your own mental health and the physical health for anyone. NEVER!!!! I did and I learned my lesson very hard away. Now I will just focus on myself and my family(mum, paa, and my sibling) because they stood for me every time and kept me intact. Even though Life is not every time all goodies, I will keep believing that whatever happens- happens for a reason and that I am protected. They won't be successful in making me a bitter person. I won't let them. Whatever they did, Karma will get back to them and I am very sure of it. That's why I am keeping my side of the street clean. I will continue being the same person I was but with more life lessons learned along the way. Although still I can't get that incident out of my head I am trying to sit with with and acknowledge it. It shall pass too. Whenever I think about them I start to feel nauseous and this is my sign to not pay attention to them anymore. They are not worth my time and energy anymore, no one who hurts me and my family is.
Make yourself a priority always and don't try to control what cannot be controlled. I did and failed miserably (lol).
*I wrote this all as an example to you guys to be cautious of where you are spending your energy. I consider you all my online family. Don't let anyone make you feel that you are a bad person based on their perceptions of you.
Talk to someone and let everything out. , I am blessed to have such people here and from my friend circle who helped me with their positive words. I decided to be vulnerable and reach out for help and trust me it is one of the best decisions that I have ever made. I hope this is the beginning of something new and exciting. I am leaving everything that happened with me in the past, just taking the lessons from it. I will still consider them family but they lost my respect because my personal boundaries were crossed and I take my personal boundaries very seriously. I won't let anyone cross it again.
Shout out to @misericordieux especially for listening to me and giving me strength to go through all of this.
Thank you and Love, Infinity 🧿🫶🏼
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hewantshisbrideback · 3 months
Text
Modern AU Jonrya + Divorced!RhaeLya Snippet
Test-running this the same way I did NHAT's first chapter! Keep in mind, this is not specifically RhaeLya or anti-RhaeLya. That said, Rhaegar, by virtue of being raised as more of a 'boy prince' than actual prince, has a characterization you may not agree with! But I don't care, it's my fic lol. Not a lot happens in this first snippet, it's more to establish the home-life Jon is coming from, the dynamic between Rhaegar and Lyanna, and because I find writing from this perspective funny. There is not a lot of Jonrya and only the set up for conflict. Enjoy! Please, tell me what you think.
It’s an age-old story. A real crowd favorite. Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy. Boy sings a sad song. Girl cries. Boy gives her roses. Girl looks pretty with flowers in her hair. A classic love story, one for the books.
Things may have progressed a little quickly after. But, still, nothing truly out of the ordinary. Girl got pregnant. Boy proposed. Well… Boy had to get a divorce first. But it was a quick divorce.
Sure, maybe after the shotgun wedding, Boy and Girl had to hide out in the desert for a while, disappeared from the public without telling anyone where they went, resulting in a media-fuelled frenzy, a nation-wide search party involving everyone from paparazzi to armed police to private investigators…
Maybe her family had publicly accused him of kidnapping before the dust had settled. Acquitted of all charges, both in the legal court and that of public opinion.
Still, when Rhaegar looks back at how he and Lyanna first met, first fell in love, it really did feel that simple, that… uncomplicated, at the time. The politics, their respective family drama, the music scene and the industry bullshit, the age gap that was only a little less scandalous at the time…
He hadn’t cared about that. Neither had magazines, or newspapers. If anything, they’d eaten it all up. It only made them more sympathetic. For the most part. According to all the important publications, anyway.
Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen had been... the love story to end all love stories. Had been, as in, weren’t anymore, because, as anyone could tell you, they hadn’t been married for, say, like… a decade now? Somewhere between a decade, and thirteen years, four months, and twenty-one days.
And yet, it still smarts to think about it. Better not to, if he can help it.
Unfortunately, there’s nothing in the great, empty expanse of fucking woods he’s staring down to distract him. Why does Lyanna live out here again? Shouldn’t someone running a non-profit live somewhere with actual people around, in need of help?
Frankly, he never understood why they divorced in the first place. But I respected her wishes. Because I loved her.
Obviously. He wouldn’t be leaning against his car, waiting for his son to finally emerge from his aloof (second) ex-wife’s cabin in the woods if that wasn’t the case, all so he could spend a weekend enjoying the kid’s brooding company, pointedly not asking questions about how his mother was and what she was doing in her spare time when she wasn’t too busy saving the world and ignoring his calls.
Rhaegar taps his foot. Crosses his arms. Checks his hair in the passenger window. Uncrosses his arms. Checks his phone, again. Nothing. He texted Jon about his arrival three minutes ago.
Maybe, sometimes their conversation verged into discussion-of-Mom territory. But there was only so much for him and Jon to talk about. The kid was almost sixteen, permanently unimpressed with him, and he made no secret of the resentment he felt for him.
Rhaegar wanted to connect, he did, but he also had to acknowledge certain limitations to his position. The one thing they both shared was Lyanna. It made sense to fall back to common ground in lieu of any other options.
And he’s curious. Sue him. The woman is a bank vault when it comes to her personal life. Always was. Just ask the press. They'd tell you.
Rhaegar checks his phone. Four minutes. He thinks he can get away with ringing the doorbell. There’s literally ice on the ground. Even his openly embittered son doesn’t actually want him to freeze to death.
Well, he assumes. But the void of interest in Jon’s gaze as he opens the door and claps eyes on him might make him reconsider.
“Hey, champ.” Rhaegar forces out, and pretends like he isn’t internally grimacing at his own words. “Uh, I texted, but…”
Jon nods, already turning around, walking away and leaving the screen door to drift shut on his father. “I know.”
Rhaegar wedges a foot in before the heavy screen can shut him out completely, then shifts awkwardly in the doorway, propping it open. “You ready to head out?”
“Almost.”
He takes that as an invitation to step inside. Jon’s disappeared into a door beyond the stairs - the den, or the dining room? It’s been a while since Rhaegar got to really see the place. He’s never gotten an actual tour, technically, has maybe been in the kitchen twice, ever, let alone the rest of the place. Technically, it's a converted ranger station from back when the family held private ownership over the woods. For all he knows, it's an armory back there.
He glances around surreptitiously for a second, wondering if he has enough time to poke his head around - innocently, of course - only for Lyanna to skid into view before he can even move past the wet room. His pulse quickens, but before he can pull out a greeting as equally as cringeworthy as the first, she interrupts.
“Oh, good. You’re here. I’m heading out then.” She pushes an earring in with lethal precision and force, not even sparing a glance at the conveniently-placed hall mirror, calling back into the house, “Jon? I’m heading out! Did you hear me?”
Rhaegar almost has a heart attack when Jon pops his head in from the nearest room - he could’ve sworn the only way to the back was through the main hall, last time he was here - with a furrowed brow and a playful scowl on display. “Yeah, I’m right here. You don’t need to yell.”
Lyanna is doing her eyeliner, but she pauses to raise her own brows at him in warning. “Sometimes I think you could do with me yelling at you more, actually.”
He rolls his eyes. “Is that even possible?”
She smacks her hairbrush in his general direction in response, a fruitless gesture so familiar to Rhaegar it hurts. “Would you get out of here? With your… teenage… attitude? Ugh.” She fixes her lipstick then shoves her tools in her purse.
“Brutal, mom. Do you have my charger?”
“Our charger,” she insists. “It’s in the den. Go watch some dumb, scary movie, would you? Have a good time with your dad. And get out of my hair!”
Jon gives her a brisk salute as she hurries past.
“We will! Uh, have a good time,” Rhaegar assures her, but his eyes get caught on her cocktail dress, as she scoots past him, adjusts the skirt, and grabs her coat. “Where are you off to? Didn’t think you were even allowed to leave the woods.”
She gives him a slightly withering glance, then shrugs, smiles. “I have a thing.” By now Jon has joined them in the wet room, and she turns to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Lock up when you leave. I’ll see you two later.”
“Gross.” Jon waves from the door as she sidesteps the ice in her heels on her way to her truck. “Bye, mom. Be safe!”
“No worrying, kiddo! Have fun.”
“I know. But still.”
“Thanks, honey,” she clambers into the truck, blows a big, fat kiss from the window, intentionally over-the-top. “Mwah.”
Rhaegar follows her out, takes advantage of her patting around the front seat to plug her phone in. “Seriously, we never talk anymore. What’s the big occasion?”
She gives him a look he decides is indecipherable, then sighs. “Just meeting up with old friends of the family.” She finds the right chord to plug in her phone, then shoos him away from the window. “Okay. Really, this time - I’ll see you guys later.”
By the time she’s pulled out, and he’s shaken himself from his suspicious stupor, Jon is joining him out in the driveway. He shakes his head, then turns and gives him a fond, knowing look. “Where is she actually going?”
Jon, shrugging and hiking his backpack up his shoulder, returns the knowing look, if... decidedly less fond. “Some kind of double date.”
“What?” Rhaegar scoffs. “With who?”
“Uncle Ned and Aunt Catelyn.”
Interesting, but irrelevant. “No, who is she going with?”
“I don’t know. One of the Baratheons.” Jon is walking toward the car at this point.
“Shit!” Rhaegar jolts to follow, stops and curses as he almost slips on the ice, resumes his path with more caution. “Shit. Which one?”
“I don’t remember,” Jon says, popping open the trunk. He throws his luggage in the back.
Rhaegar rubs the back of his neck, exhaling a little in relief at just making it to the car without face-planting. “It can’t be Robert, is it? That’s insane.”
Jon pauses getting into the passenger seat to slip his backpack off his shoulder and spare his father a faintly exasperated look. “Dad…”
“Look, I - I know your uncle and him are friends, I’m sure he’s… fine, but… your mom hates him,” he rushes to clarify. Jon rolls his eyes and gets in the car, and Rhaegar scrambles to follow suit. “She always has.”
“I mean, it’s really none of your business.”
“Right, but… Right. I’m not saying she can’t. I’m just saying it would be stupid, and I hope your uncle hasn’t convinced her to give him another chance, when -”
“Are we going?” Jon interrupts, then sinks into his seat with a strange expression. “Arya and I have been waiting to see this for ages.”
“Uh…” Rhaegar blinks. Thinks. Starts to dig out his keys. “Yeah, we can go…” He starts the engine, but doesn’t take it out of park. “Just, let the engine warm up… How is Arya doing, lately, by the way? She wants to see this film?”
“Yeah,” Jon answers, slouching in his seat. “Has wanted to, for a while, now.”
“How’s she doing? You get to see her much, now she’s getting older?”
Jon turns to pretend to look at something out the window. Rhaegar knows he’s pretending. He was staring at the same goddamn woods waiting for a text for four minutes, so. “Not as much.”
Rhaegar takes this as an opportunity to change the address on his phone. “Is she busy tonight?”
“No.” No uncertainty. Not even a pause.
“You want to invite her along?”
“Seriously?” 
“Why not?” Rhaegar starts backing out of the driveway. “She’s allowed to watch scary movies, right?”
“Yeah, we watch them all the time.” Good. It was a fifty-fifty bet, considering what Catelyn and Ned are respectively like as parents.
“Why don’t you text her? We’re early anyway. We can start heading down that way, and if she says no, we’ll just… You know. Course-correct.”
“Okay. Yeah. I’ll text her.”
“Good. Great. We’ll just… head for your uncle Ned’s.”
And if they happened to run into Lyanna when they got there, well... that's a non-issue.
Thanks so much for reading! Hope it piqued your interest, even though there wasn't a ton of Jonrya right away. It's partly written but not enough to share for feedback. I'm curious to get feedback on the Rhaegar and Lyanna dynamic - I know the characters have huge fans and huge antis and frankly I'm half curious and half worried as to how either party will be reacting to the situation, lol! Anyway, thanks again.
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caribbean-ace · 11 months
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Alright so it’s been a hot minute since i’ve been here, life truly gets in the way and i feel that i’m going through the motions but finally after the buzz has settled i wanted to reflect a bit on Station 19 season 6.
I think we’re standing at a different place than we were by the end of season 5 and i believe that’s great. We went from that insanity -not in a good way- of season to something much much better. Few changes were made and it showed from the very beginning of season 6. To put it simply it was raw, by far the rawest season in terms of storyline, obviously because of what Maya went through, the repercutions it had on Carina and so on… Mental health was the overall arc for season 6 and honestly? I loved how it played out… Fair to say a LOT of people saw themselves in Carina and Maya which sparked the conversation -the very much needed conversation-
It was a rollercoaster but i’m glad we went through those moments because it lead to a healthier outcome instead of a quick fix it showed a more realistic side of a journey that can’t be taken lightly. On the other hand i wished they would’ve handled the Beckett story a bit better, by the end of it the writers made a good job by Vic checking up on him and just sparkling that conversation. I enjoyed the brief love triangle between Andy/Eli/Travis, it would have been funnier that they explored that angle deeper but i guess it turned out alright.
The expectations were so high when a female chief was announced but it turns out that it was just another love interest for a man, love to see it (please notice the sarcasm). While i don’t mind that Ross had history with Sullivan i kinda hated how her character just became the woman simping for the guy. They tried to redeem her a bit but it wasn’t enough. I would have LOVED that she actually made some changes within SFD to support women and actually make things better. Remember the storyline about fighting sexism? Yeah, me too. Anyways it was terrible that she was shamed for having a consensual relationship with another adult but it makes me grit my teeth the double standards: the whole you’re heroic for basically organizing a mutiny but when someone breaks protocol for saving a life that’s wrong or having a relationship with someone who outranks you but we’re totally ignoring that too, i get it, it’s for the sake of drama but certain things needs to make sense.
All that leads me to Andy being captain, we all saw it coming, there’s no way Maya was going to be captain again -at least not while being on 19- and while it should have been handled a bit better (the woman does have ambitions and putting a pause to pursue her dreams to heal does not mean she needs to abandon it) i think Andy deserved something a bit better, not just: alright you’re captain now. At least her first “shift” as captain was packed with action but still…
And that also brings me to Theo: at first he was like alright, laid back dude, gets the job done but the second he got promoted it’s like it flipped a switch on him especially being such an ass to Vic for absolutely no reason like ??? But at least she left him, i really liked how she pointed out that being happy for her friend does not mean she’s not supporting him (i wonder if that friendship also extends to Maya, after yk, call her a nasty person and do absolutely nothing to stand for her. Yes i will always be bitter about how everyone turned their backs on Maya).
Jack can’t seem to catch a break and God knows what’s gonna happen to him but at least he’s healthier and trying to stay out of other people’s relationships which i’m glad. I loved how Ben and Miranda where kinda there for Maya and Carina (i say kinda because it’s not like Maya had the greatest support out there but Ben did listen so that’s something. Also shout out to Diane, she’s incredible and i love whenever she appears)
Finally -because this is way too long lol- we know where we are standing in terms of Maya and Carina growing their family, for a solid minute i thought well, they are being ambiguous because it’s probably leading to that but no, it wasn’t. I wasn’t mad that they didn’t make Carina pregnant by the end of the season, if anything the scenes where they are discussing how many kids and stuff makes it so much more meaningful because Maya is obviously in such a better head space. Oh and just as a quick comment: Carina should have gone to therapy too, she needed to heal from that rocky period of time and it would have been cool to see her perspective, even if we saw sneak peaks with Vic, Miranda and Diane i believe sitting down and leading to a backstory would have been so much better.
If you got to this point i love you, i wanted to ramble a bit and finally found the moment to sit down and put this together (it’s a bit all over the place, just like my brain but bare with me). Catch you on season 7🤍
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frodo-with-glasses · 1 year
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More Reading Thoughts: Many Partings
Oh, oh oh oh, the chapter title is a mirror to the Fellowship chapter “Many Meetings”, don’t touch me I am cri
Aragorn: “Hello! Don’t ask; I know you want to go back home.” Frodo: “I do. I want to see Bilbo even more. I was sad to see he didn’t come with the others.” Aragorn: “Well, he’s getting really old, dude.” Frodo: “EXACTLY WHY I NEED TO GO.”
In which Arwen gives Frodo her golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s choco—I mean Valinor
Oh and he also gets another necklace
Eeeeyyy resolution to Eomer and Gimli’s little spat!
Eomer and Gimli are the politest, most gentlemanly simps ever
I love how much effort the book puts into acknowledging how honored Theoden was. Eowyn’s fear was that her family would be disgraced and forgotten, with no more dignity than a peasant living in a dirty thatched hut, but all this pomp and circumstance proves that the line of Eorl is still honored and respected and loved.
GHAN-BURI-GHAN
THE CHAD AND HIS HOMIES RETURN
HELLO I LOVE YOU WE WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE GOODBYE
I got so emotional about the drums, bruh, that’s literally beautiful ;~;
MERRRYYYYY *sobs*
I LOVE YOU MY SON. AAAAHHHH TToTT
“HAIL, EOMER, KING OF THE MARK!”
They’re in good hands.
Trothplighted! Now THAT’S a word!!
Aww, Eowyn and Faramir got engaged in Rohan! That’s cute :-3
Well there go all my goofy headcanons about Eomer being a cranky, overprotective brother and giving Faramir the side-eye. Even he just likes him automatically. Bummer. And here I was hoping for some funny family drama!
Eowyn: “Whaddya think of that, former crush? :-3” Aragorn: “Couldn’t be prouder :-D”
Okay yeah so when I read the last chapter, I wrote this thing at 3 AM like “kinda not digging how the book barely mentions what angst Elrond would be feeling over never seeing his daughter again ever; even the movies take the time to explore that (even if they paint Elrond as the bad guy who gets in the way of love)”, but at least here Tolkien gives us a mention of it. That’s nice. Please don’t just ignore Elrond’s feelings, the man’s been through enough.
OOH! A gift?? A gift for Merry??? I’m very interested—!!
GASP IT’S THE HORN
THAT’S GONNA BE VERY IMPORTANT ISN’T IT
PRETTY SURE I’M REMEMBERING SOMETHING ABOUT THE SCOURING OF THE SHIRE AND THE HORN BEING VERY IMPORTANT
Aaaand they all hug! Awww!! TTuTT I’m gonna have so much fun drawing this LOL
“And they drank the stirrup-cup”. Thanks to this line and Google, I have now learned a thing about the traditions of the Scottish Highlanders.
Legolas, upon visiting a cave: “Welp, you beat me. I like caves now.”
TREEBEEEEEARD!!
QUICKBEEEEEEEAAAMM!!!
MY FAVORITE TREES I LOVE YOU GUYS
In which Treebeard cusses out orcs in Entish
In which Treebeard admits that he bored Saruman nearly to death!!
Oof, that’s not the smartest thing you’ve ever done, King Tree ol’ pal. But I forgive you. I won’t call mercy a weakness.
I love the mental image of Quickbeam bowing “like a tree bending in the wind”. They are not VERY bendable, but they can be a little bit!
There are no Entings :-C
Gimli, begrudgingly: “FINE I’ll visit the forest, I guess.”
Gimli calling them “my hobbits” noooo 😭😖😭😫🤧😭😭
STOP SAYING “I fear we shall never meet again”, IT’S MAKING ME SAD
Bye, Legolas; bye, Gimli! Love ya both, you hilarious nerds.
Merry and Pippin get one last drink with Treebeard! Yaaaay!! 8-D
Bye, King Tree, I love you!
Aragorn threatening to spy on Pippin and call him back in service to Minas Tirith is hilarious and very on-brand
Ooh, red sunset and a green flame…wow.
That’s so evocative and I can’t find the words to express why.
Bye, Aragorn. Love ya, long man.
Well, well, well! Bo and lehold, look what the cat drug in! It’s Saruman!
Me when Saruman chews out Gandalf: LOL
Me when Saruman breathes wrongly in Galadriel’s direction: oh he’s dead 8-.
Y’know, it’s funny. Grima’s fear of leaving Saruman is a lot like the fear people often have of leaving abusive relationships. However, Grima has everything he’d need to actually make a departure, things that other people stuck in abusive relationships might not—a support system, financial freedom, another place to stay, and people who would help and protect him—and yet he chooses none of it, and goes back to his oppressor. Fascinating.
OOP. OKAY SARUMAN TALKING TO THE HOBBITS NOW, EVERYBODY SHUT UP.
Saruman: “You cruel little urchins. Come to mock an old beggar, have you? I’ll bet you wouldn’t even give me a bit of pipe weed.” Frodo: “I would if I had any.”
That is the KINDEST 1000 IQ gigachad own I have EVER seen. Frodo like, “I have gone through untold hell, but you can’t make me cruel to you, no matter how much you try.” LIFE GOAL: BE LIKE FRODO
And Merry like, “Here, I’ve got some pipeweed, you can have it back.” My favorite hobbits, everyone. The chads. The absolute legends.
*mutters to self* “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; and in doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head…”
Merry’s sarcastic “thank you!” to the curse on the Southfarthing tho X’-D
Merry: “Can I have my bag back?” Saruman, a petty wet sock: “NO”
I wonder if the Shire has a thing where you can like. Sue for damages to person or property. ‘Cause that seems to be what Pippin is implying here by “what about our claim for kidnapping us”. In which case, Pippin half-joking about suing a wizard is VERY HECKING FUNNY
Also would like to point out that Sam didn’t say a word until Saruman was gone. I can only imagine he was just sitting in the background glaring at him the whole time.
Aaaand they let him go. Hahaha. Doom.
In which Gandalf, Galadriel, Celeborn, and Elrond speak in telepathy, wooo~
In which Sam still wants to see Elves, even after he’s been riding with Elves this whole time
BILBOOOOOOOOOO
BILBO MY LOVE I’VE MISSED YOU
Just the fact that the hobbits run to find him without taking off their coats or eating or washing up. That’s like charging into a house to see somebody, with your coat and shoes still on, leaving dirt on the carpet but neither of you care. It’s so emotional and full of love and I just aaaaahhhh— 🥹😭🥹🤧😭
Bilbo will never not be competitive, LOL! “I wanna be older than the Old Took!”
“How splendid! How wonderful! But where were we?” Bilbo I love you
“Yeah I was invited to Aragorn’s wedding and all that, but I was busy and I didn’t want to pack.” BILBO I LOVE YOU
“Didn’t go to the wedding because I couldn’t be arsed” is such a HUGE MOOD
Ohh, the melancholy of watching the weather changing and knowing you’ll soon have to leave
Also Frodo and Sam same brain
“Except the Sea.” Stopppp I’m gonna cry—
“To their delight, Gandalf said: ‘I think I shall come too. At least as far as Bree. I want to see Butterbur.’” AND ROAST HIS TOES
Aww Bilbo getting old and forgetful. It hurts, but it’s so sweet ;u;
“May come in useful, if you think of getting married, Sam.” 8-D 8-D 8-D hahaha yesss, tease the boy
Bilbo: “I don’t have gifts for you.” Pippin: “Okay, but consider: what if we sass you?” Bilbo: “Haha, you make me so proud! I lied. Have some pipes.”
Bilbo: “B-T-dubs, where’s my ring?” Frodo: “Er, I kind of threw it into a volcano, Bilbo.” Bilbo: “Oh, yes, that’s right! That’s what the whole thing was about, isn’t it? Silly me.”
Bilbo being just as interested in oliphaunts as Sam ;u;
REPRISE OF “THE ROAD GOES EVER ON!” SHUT UP I CRI
Just the way they let him nap for a while before talking again. It’s such natural comedy, and also very sweet and warm and full of love and just aaaaahhhh
Also Frodo agreeing to finish Bilbo’s work. There’s something so emotional about that. Makes me think of Christopher and all the work he did to preserve his father’s notes…I wonder if he ever made the connection himself. I wonder if he saw himself as his dad’s Frodo.
And we end with some foooooreshadowing….
Friendly reminder to everyone who complains that the RotK movie has like five different endings and that’s too many: The book is worse. The book is so, SO much worse. 🤣
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himitsu-medusa · 3 months
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Some more thoughts about DE, and recovery, this time under a cut.
I like how different skills (often those in the same position/family!) conflict.
Empathy and Authority clash the most often. For example, in the call with Sylvia Authority was telling me to keep pressuring her, but Empathy pointed out that she was getting upset (he did the same earlier with the black woman with gloves), and suggested me to back down. I followed Empathy's advice because I didn't want Sylvia to be upset.
And a very nice thing that Empathy did beforehand was help me out with Cuno, and he made me figure out Cuno's just all talk and no bite. I'm sure that if I spec into Composture and Drama the build will be crazy. I need to level up Pain Treshold though, I'm very weak, I tried to break down the bookshop door and I lost health.
Volition helps me out NOT falling out of the wagon, which I really appreciate; see, I was at Frittte and I saw the balcon with all the cigs and bottles, and of course Electrochemistry told me how amazing and nice those things were :/ but again Volition helps me out and I don't want to disappoint him/me/us. Fuck Electrochemistry though I'm not listening to him/myself.
The reason I'm doing that despite him being a physical skill is partially because he is too relatable (long story I have problems) and partially because I want to play a Harry that after a horrible memory-shattering bender is going cold turkey. Seeing the scene with Esprit the Corpse (where all the colleagues talk about our state after we finish the call, the radio one), "I don't want to get better, I want to get worse -- he told me that", it made me cement this decision.
TL;DR: I need to listen to my other skills more, give Composture and PT some love, and ignore Electrochemistry because it's basically the addiction talking to me. Volition wants to help me, Electro wants me to forget myself.
I'm not going to get more maximum health, but at least I won't spiral.
Another note; this game is very realistic in terms of recovery. I do not smoke nor drink, but I relate to Harry's struggles. Not even in a "Lol he just like me fr" way but in a "Wow, I get you. I understand where you're coming from" way. Again, the want to get worse and still have people around you who want you to be better hits close.
This game is affecting me more than I thought :) and it's not even day 2 yet!
Anyway yeah! Super good game, can't wait to play more, I've got Kim's back.
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chantalstacys · 4 months
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2023 recap 🎀🪩🥂
tagged by @grusinskayas 🩷
top films:
♡ barbie — omg THE movie of 2023 for me. it was so fun to see this in theaters with an audience that was just as excited as i was to laugh, to say hi to our inner child and to enjoy the color pink. i saw it twice
♡ godzilla minus one — the hype for this movie was SO real and it exceeded our outrageously high expectations. i’ve never been so scared of a godzilla before and i have never felt so much rage toward a godzilla before. i also saw this one twice and i liked it better the second time
♡ gentlemen prefer blondes — for the memory of when @healingmoonlight came over in august and we sang all the songs and recited all the best lines by heart 🫶🏻
top tv series:
♡ the dick van dyke show — my comfort show. life would be different without this show. always a top series
♡ nana — this show and this manga changed my fucking LIFE. it’s such an exciting feeling to be so captivated by new stories and new characters
♡ clannad — this was a rewatch for my bf! season one was all fun and games but he had to do a lot of comforting during season two
top books:
♡ happy place by emily henry — this book fucking gutted me. this book was on my mind every second i wasn’t reading it
♡ heartless by elsie silver — the chestnut springs series really took me by surprise!! this one is such a fun read and it is SO hot and so sweet
♡ holiday romance by catherine walsh — THE christmas romcom of 2023 for me. it is UNBEARABLY cute and i fell so hard for the love interest
top songs:
♡ there she goes by the la’s — so i went back to my old job this summer and i play music all the time in my classroom! this song is in my “caitlin vibes” playlist and when it turns on it makes me feel like i’m the star of a cute 90s family movie
♡ chain of fools by aretha franklin — for the memories of me and bf jamming the fuck out to this song
♡ love is a many-splendored thing by the four aces — the DRAMA of this song. i replayed this one many times lol
top quote:
i’m not much of a quote girlie but this part in happy place did something to me. it really gave some attention to this weird, alienating feeling i’ve been experiencing for the last couple of years that i find myself ignoring all the time because i still just don’t have the words for it? so points for that
“I was really, really happy when I was a kid. My parents were happy. And then they weren’t. And when they separated and moved on . . . it took a while, but they both found happiness again. Or, you know, their semi-twisted versions of that.
“With new partners and new kids. Everyone got this fresh start. But I wasn’t a part of either one. I was part of their relationship. And once that was over, I bounced back and forth like—like a memento or something. The only thing that ever felt permanent to me, like it belonged to me, was this place.”
tagging @silk-fleur @miumiumacaron @tyronepowerbottom @fitzgeraldsflapper @disneydayandnight @sugarsplumfairy happy new year!!! 🥂
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