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thefudge · 4 years

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Do you have any Romanian (language or just content-wise) media recs? Particularly novels and poetry but really any must-sees/must-reads are welcome!

uuuu!

my brain is too fried right now to do any kind of exhaustive list so i’m gonna rec a few things that i know you could get your hands on/available in translation:

for two thousand years, by mihail sebastian - really heartbreaking yet also lucid, adventurous and darkly humorous memoir of a Jewish writer in his youth at the height of nazism in romania (there’s even a Penguin classic of it)

diary of a short-sighted adolescent by mircea eliade - a funny and bittersweet bildungsroman about a bookish teenager who wants to read everything now and be the cleverest person alive while also struggling with being super lazy and unmotivated because he’s young and restless, it’s very #relatable. but it’s also fascinating to read this in opposition with “for two thousand years” because eliade entertained legionnaire nazi sympathies at one point. (also, you should check out his novellas too, especially the fantastic ones)

anything you can find in translation by gabriela adamesteanu - just lovely, delicate prose about growing up, being an adult, inhabiting your body and your feelings in an oppressive world

the hatchet by mihail sadoveanu (apparently, there is a translation) - a lot of people give this novel flak, mostly because we had to read it in high school, but it’s a great and deceptively simple little novel that says a lot more about people than it cares to admit. the action takes you through several villages in the East-Carpathians, where a peasant woman goes in search of her missing husband. it’s a fascinating mixture of crime and folklore and mythology.

any novella by costache negruzzi, but especially “alexandru lapusneanu”, another classic we had to read in school and which gets a lot of flak. it’s so bonkers and #quality-trash. let’s just say there’s a scene where the power-hungry voievod/prince lapusneanu enacts a red-wedding situation and builds a pyramid of freshly severed heads to impress his lady wife *swoon*

the forest of the hanged by liviu rebreanu - i know people argue this isn’t his best novel, but it’s got the most heart. it’s the story of a soldier/philosopher in WW1 who falls in love with people again. that’s it. he falls in love with people, and the war and everything in between doesn’t matter anymore. or it matters only as it pertains to people, and people alone.

gallants of the old court by mateiu caragiale - a bizarre gem of early 20th century Romanian nightlife, a wonderful, orgiastic fugue, feverish and infuriating. it’s mostly about rich men and social-climbers getting into existential trouble, but also into real trouble. normally, because the action takes place right before WW1, this would signify the end of an era. but we don’t really have a beginning or end. we are part-balkan, part-french imitators, part-whatever-sticks. nothing moves us, and everything does. and that’s why it’s a sort of love/hate letter to romanians

in terms of poetry, some personal faves: nichita stanescu, ana blandiana, monica pillat, marin sorescu, a.e. baconsky, lucian blaga, emil brumaru, nora iuga, marta petreu, nina cassian. and yes, mihai eminescu, our national poet, though i’m often in two minds about him.

poetry in translation is really hit and miss because of the “untranslatable”, so here’s two lines from a poem by nina cassian, because i want to show you what i mean:

De când m-ai părăsit mă fac tot mai frumoasă ca hoitul luminând în întuneric.

this roughly and poetically translates to:

Since you left me I’ve grown more beautiful

like the corpse lighting the dark

and this is sort of lovely on its own, but you’d need to know and hear and taste the word “hoit” in romanian to really feel the abjectness, because “hoit” is a smelly, ugly yet also alluring, already decomposing version of “cadavru” aka cadaver/corpse. also “ mă fac tot mai frumoasă” cannot be accurately summed up in “i’ve grown more beautiful”. a literal translation would be “I make myself more beautiful”. in romanian, this is obviously idiomatic and not literal. and yet, these strange self-reflexive valences make these lines strong and eerie, as if the speaker were authoring her beauty, shaping it out of clay and darkness and “hoit”, like a butterfly cracking the corpse’s shell to get out, but also retaining some of its mesmerizing stench. why did i pause to do a close-reading of romanian poetry??? anyway, you catch my drift

in terms of movies, a recent one i really loved was sierranevada by cristi puiu, which is a neurotic family drama that drains you but also lifts you up

and yeah, the hype is real, 4 months, 3 weeks and 2 days by cristi mungiu really is that good (about two young women trying to get an illegal abortion in communist romania. it won the palme d’or for very legit reasons. it breaks you in small ways. the very last shot of the film you’ll carry with you forever). i also liked graduation by cristi mungiu, where a young overachieving girl is about to graduate high school and go on to study abroad, until a terrible event unmoors both her and her family. the movie turns almost hallucinatory at one point, filled with ambiguity and a kind of sleep-walking quality

tales from the golden age by cristi mungiu (him again!) is also fantastic for anyone who wants to get a taste of communist romania and the sad-funny absurdities of everyday life. this movie is split in 2 parts and the format is that of an anthology, almost like watching several short films at once. and there is one film in the anthology that always turns me inside out, and it’s really silly, it’s this bonnie and clyde type story about this girl and boy who meet at a party and devise an ingenious get-rich scam and just run around a few neighborhoods trying to put it into practice and it’s...the sweetest, most incomplete thing. there is such a strange, lovely connection there that never gets realized, and there is a MOMENT between them where he helps her step down from this ledge and he holds her briefly to him and i remember being in the cinema and thinking THIS, this is THE MOMENT where i felt these people were real. it was such an honest, lovely moment. like the equivalent of this song. ANYWAY, why am i rambling so much??? this ask was supposed to be SHORT.

aferim! by radu jude is also a really neat movie and provides a look into the historical romanian/rroma relationship and why it’s so messed up, yet also so organic

the death of mr. lazarescu by cristi puiu is also a great little film about a man who gets sick and goes to the hospital. and...dies, as you can tell from the title. on the surface, he dies because of institutional ineptness and a broken healthcare system. at a deeper level, he dies because we no longer know how to help people. various hospital staff in the film do try to help him and fail for various stupid or quietly heartbreaking reasons. it’s a movie about being physically unable to care. there’s indifference, sure, but also this great exhaustion of the human spirit. but the movie is also darkly funny. might not be a great pandemic watch, but then again it might be exactly what you need

there are soooo many other classics in terms of books (morometii by marin preda, for instance, about a patriarch in a small village in the South who slowly realizes the world he used to live in doesn’t have room for him anymore, and maybe it never had) but i’m gonna end on a quote from ion creanga, one of the most cryptic classics of romanian lit:

“Şi eu eram vesel ca vremea cea mai bună şi şturlubatic şi copilăros ca vântul în tulburea sa”

my translation: “and I was cheerful like the best weather and frolicsome and childish like the wind in its cloudiness”

and again, the words in romanian and their particular sound and bite (”şturlubatic”, “tulburea”) immediately take me elsewhere. creanga writes about childhood, but it’s never really childhood. he writes as an adult who, in my opinion, was never really a child, but a weird, small god of the land. i mean the word “tulburea” can mean both “turmoil” and “muddiness”. the wind can be anguished, but also just a little cloudy, just a little hazy, shrinking its agony, howling it in the child. it’s eerie and gorgeous. so, that’s what he does: creanga writes about children as if they were wind-like spirits. he writes stories about devils and the peasants who trick them and school books filled with spit and flies, and warm eggs stolen from nests and fairy-tales of a world that is buried somewhere inside us, but not too deep, things hidden under our clothes or nails or even in our hair. and it’s all so physical and convoluted, just like his prose. and i don’t think anyone will ever make sense of him and that’s what makes him so discombobulatingly great.

anyway, this was supposed to be...like, really short! and not gassy! i’m sorry. i love waxing about all this gay stuff. i’m so gay about it.

realistically tho, the nearest thing you’ll find in your local bookshop is probably books by famous ‘theater of the absurd’ playwright, eugen ionesco, or novels in translation by contemporary author mircea cartarescu. both are pretty good, so go for it! (if you want to start small, i’d recommend REM by mircea cartarescu, because it’s so trippy and meta and captures that summer holiday eeriness so well. it goes well with this romanian song sung in english)

okay byeeeee

#romanian lit #recs #romanian literature #reference #my thoughts #romanian cinema #i hope no actual romanians come across this list and eviscerate me haha #im sorry this is such....MUCH

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whitewolfofwinterfell · 3 years

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Harry Potter re-read: thoughts and ranking my favourite books

In 2020 I completed a full re-read of Harry Potter for the first time since I was a child. It was a rollercoaster experience of highs and lows; excitement, nostalgia, frustration, joy, boredom and everything in between. It took the whole year (in between reading other books) and I hit a wall in the sumer, but I’m glad I persevered and made it to the end. This series will always hold a special place in my heart and as much as I love the movies, there’s so much detail that is missed from them. I didn’t realise just how much my memories of the HP universe had been shaped by the movies until I read the books. I feel like I’ve reconnected with the universe and characters in an authentic way and lots of my opinions have changed as a result.

Before we get to the ranking, some disclaimers:

If it wasn’t already obvious SPOILERS BELOW FOR THE HARRY POTTER SERIES (at this point I’d be surprised if there’s anybody that needs this warning, but better safe than sorry!).

This ranking is completely subjective and very changable. I love all of the books and I’ve based the ranking solely on my enjoyment of reading them.

In writing this post I am in no way supporting or endorsing J.K. Rowling’s works. Her ignorance and hatred is intolerable and abhorrent. I discuss this more in the conclusion of this post.

None of the images or gifs featured were made by me, all credit goes to the creators.

7. The Goblet of Fire

One of my favourite movies, but my least favourite book. This one hasn’t aged well for me. It’s too long, there’s much too filler and it has the disadvantage of coming after The Prisoner of Azkaban. I like the idea of the Triwizard Tournament in theory, but the execution is dull. We spend chapters upon chapters upon chapters with Harry and Hermione researching and preparing for the tasks and the tasks themselves are very anti-climatic. It’s also difficult to ignore the fact that the second and third tasks take part underwater and in a maze, and the audience can’t even see what’s going on. Apparently there’s no spell that can allow the audience to see underwater or inside a maze, not even those Muggle inventions called cameras *face palm*

The sub-plot with S.P.E.W was equally dull and didn’t add much to the story. I also found it deeply uncomfortable and upsetting to read about the enslavement of elves and the way that slavery was portrayed in general. The one positive I took from it was seeing Dobby with his crazy jumpers and socks. Dobby is The Best.

(credit to xbirdyblue on DeviantArt for this wonderful fanart image of Dobby)

The reactions to Harry’s name coming out of the Goblet of Fire is what infuriated me most in this book because it doesn’t even make sense. Firstly, does anybody really believe Harry’s capable of overcoming such powerful magic to put his name in? Secondly, why the fudging hell would Harry want to put his name in the Goblet? He’s a 14 year old child who has endured endless trauma; he’s spent most of his life living in an abusive household and the 3 years he’d been at Hogwarts fighting against Voldemort. He doesn’t want fame or glory, he just wants to live a normal, peaceful life and hang out with his best friends. Ron’s reaction is particularly annoying because he of all people should know Harry wouldn’t put his name in the Goblet. I understand why Ron felt that way and I love him but...

The one thing I did enjoy about this book is the evolution of Harry’s friendships with Ron and Hermione. Hermione is fiercely loyal to Harry and devoted every waking second to helping him succeed in the tasks. Despite Ron’s silly tantrum and their divide through most of the book, their falling out really does cement Harry’s love for Ron.

"He thought he could have coped with the rest of the school's behaviour if he could just have Ron back as his friend."

Harry liked Hermione very much, but she just wasn't the same as Ron. There was much less laughter and a lot more hanging round in the library."

"The thing Harry Potter will miss the most, sir!"

"Harry didn't care, he wouldn't have cared if Karkaroff had given him zero; Ron's indignation on his behalf was worth a hundred points to him."

What can I say? Ron is Harry’s platonic soul mate. That is all.

Barty Crouch’s escape from Azkaban and transformation into Moody is more cunning and intelligent than it was in the movies - this dude switched places with his mother and left her in Azkaban in his place!!

Fred and George were by far the highlight of this book for me. Their characters are great in the movies, but in the books they’re just--

Their antics, wit and banter are top notch. I’d actually forgotten that Harry gave his prize winnings from the Tournament to Fred and George, and it seems like such a huge injustice!! This act of kindness and selflessness on Harry’s part is largely why Fred and George are able to set up Wizard Wheezes. It’s a testament to Harry’s love for Fred and George that he gave them his winnings. Harry may not have needed the money but he could’ve done literally anything with it, and chose to give it to the twins because he believed in their ideas and wanted to give them the opportunity they needed.

GOF was always one of my favourite movies because of this moment:

Voldemort’s return was one of the most chilling, terrifying and shocking moments for me as a kid. The scene in the graveyard still stands out as being one of my favourite scenes from the movies. In the books, it didn’t have the same impact, unfortunately. In fact, this is what was noticeable to me all the way through reading this book - I like the movie more. The movie cuts out the filler, takes the interesting aspects of the book and does them better.

Overall, despite being at the bottom of my list, I still like GOF. It’s a huge step up in world-building and is an entertaining book with a great premise; I loved the Golden Trio’s friendship, the appearances from Dobby and Fred and George’s antics. Unfortunately, this book is let down by the sheer amount of filler, the underwhelming execution of the main plot and too much focus on sub-plots like S.P.E.W.

6. The Sorcerer’s Philosopher’s Stone

It was really difficult to rank Phliosopher’s Stone, because it holds a special place in my heart because it’s where the series began. This book does a great job at introducing Hogwarts and it captures those nostalgic, magical Hogwarts vibes unlike any of the other books. This book is all about the wonder and the joy of Hogwarts, and Hogwarts lives in my heart, so stepping into this magical world with Harry for the first time again was a joy to read.

I love the time spent in this book on experiencing the smaller wonders of the magical world with Harry - Platform 9 3/4, Hogwarts Express, Diagon Alley, Ollivanders, the Sorting Hat, Great Hall feasts, ghosts etc. It’s exciting and fun to read about, and truly a gem of a book for children.

Seeing Harry go from living in a cupboard and suffering abuse and neglect to an incredible world full of wonder and people who want to get to know him and show him kindness was a joy to read. I love the development of Harry, Ron and Hermione’s friendship and how, despite how short the book is, it’s developed properly. Their friendship with Hermione doesn’t happen overnight, but by the end there’s a genuine bond and trust between them.

But of course, as the first book in the series, the plot is lacking and the writing isn’t at its strongest. Also, despite how short it is I did feel a little bored reading the second half. It’s a great entry to the series and does a wonderful job at establishing the world, main trio and other characters, but in the grander scheme of the series it’s quite bland a forgettable.

5. The Deathly Hallows

Now this one came as a big surprise to me, because before my re-read I considered The Deathly Hallows to be my favourite book, but I just didn’t enjoy it this time around. The first 50-60% of this book got me like:

I was bored as hell. The travelling, the hunting for Horcruxes, Dumbledore’s backstory, the bickering between Harry, Ron and Hermione...it was tiresome. Fortunately, amongst that there were a lot of isolated things that I enjoyed.

Firstly, I adore the Tale of the Three Brothers, it’s interesting and I love the depiction of it in the movies - it’s just so cool!

Secondly, Ron and Hermione are very cute in this book, and for the first time I appreciated them as a romantic ship.

Thirdly, Harry looking through Sirius’ room and finding a letter from Lily broke my heart. This moment is so touching and completely unexpected, since I’d forgotten about it over the years.

(credit to alessiatrunifo for this stunning fanart)

Fourthly, LUNA LOVEGOOD. You know what? I have no qualms in saying Luna is one of my new favourite characters since my re-read. I always liked her, but she never stood out to me, and that’s changed. It’s not just that she’s unique and wacky, but that she’s fiercely independent, moral, kind and loyal. Luna has such a strong sense of who she is and she doesn’t let anyone or anything contradict that.

Can I also admit that I might slightly ship Harry and Luna now? 🙊 Luna seeing through Harry’s disguise as “Barney Weasley” based on his facial expressions alone and their reactions to the possibility of the other being in danger touched my heart.

"'She will [survive],' said Harry. He could not bear to contemplate the alternative. 'She's tough Luna, much tougher than you'd think. She's probably teaching all the inmates about Wrackspurts and Nargles.'"

"Oh, no, I didn't want you to be caught!"

They’re cute, okay?

Finally, Kreacher! This was perhaps one of the biggest surprises from reading this book, because I’d completely forgotten about Kreacher’s story. And boy, oh, boy did this pull on my heartstrings. Kreacher has one of the most tragic backstories in the HP universe and he absolutely deserves the redemption he got in this book. I loved seeing him develop a genine relationship with Harry, Ron and Hermione, and the fact that they never went back for him made me so sad. Poor Kreacher!

I enjoyed all of these elements of the first half of the book, and then I got to The Sacking of Severus Snape and it was like:

This is where the book finally took off for me (unfortunately, it took 30 chapters to get there) and as soon as Harry, Ron and Hermione are back in Hogwarts I couldn’t put it down. There are so many brilliant moments and things I loved that all I can really do is bullet point them:

The character reunions.

Percy finally redeeming himself!!!!

McGonnagal being the most badass to ever badass.

Neville Longbottom owns my heart ❤❤❤

Neville's grandmother's response to finding out Neville was fighting in the battle - "Naturally [he is]. Excuse me, I must go and assist him."

Ron and Hermione's first kiss!! and Harry’s reaction to it - "Is this the moment? OI! There's a war going on here!"

Percy handing in his resignation whilst Stupefy-ing his boss - "Hello, Minister! Did I mention I'm resigning?"

The Forest Again was such an emotional chapter. It got me good.

"You'll stay with me?" "Until the very end." 😭

"Harry, you wonderful boy. You brave, brave man."

"Perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those, who, like you, have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well."

Did I mention that Neville is bloomin' amazing?

Kreacher!!!!!! "Fight! Fight! Fight for my master, defender of the house-elves! Fight the Dark Lord in the name of brave Regalus! Fight!"

Reading The Flaw in the Plan was soooo much more satisfying than watching it play out on-screen in the movie.

In many ways DH has some of the best, most satisfying moments of any of the books. It’s a strong conclusion to the series and there’s so much that I loved about it; so many memorable and emotional moments (Dobby and Fred’s deaths still hit hard 20 years later). Unfortunately, it was dragged down by the first half of the book and the epilogue. I tried so hard to keep an open mind about the epilogue, but the truth is it still BLOWS. And the more time that passes the more I resent the decisions that were made about character deaths. I understand that the stakes were high and we needed to lose characters close to our hearts but Fred?? Dobby??? Remus??? NO! Just no, okay? I don’t accept that.

4. The Order of the Phoenix

Now, The Order of the Phoenix had similar issues as DH for me - it had a very slow start but a great ending. I did take a couple of months break in the middle of reading this one and distinctly remember slogging my way through the first half and devouring the second half.

I’ve made no secret over the years that Sirius and Remus are two of favourite HP characters, so I expected to enjoy OOTP a lot for that reason. I did really enjoy all the smatterings of Sirius and Remus we go throughout this book. Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough for me. This book really highlighted for me how limited Harry’s POV was, because I wanted more of an insight into the Order but Harry was kept in the dark the entire time which was frustrating.

One of the main character highlights of this book is the legend Minverva McGonnagal. Her sass, strength and determination to defend Hogwarts and its students against Dolores is astounding. Here are some of my favourite McGonnagal moments:

"Well, usually when a person shakes their head they mean 'no.'"

"Can I offer you a cough drop, Dolores?"

"I should have made my meaning plainer. [Harry] has achieved high marks in all Defence Against the Dark Arts tests set by a compotent teacher."

Defending Hagrid against Umbridge.

And of course:

(Still can’t believe the movie robbed us of this!)

Time for a less popular opinion - I loved Harry in this book. In general, this book made me feel very protective of Harry, because Harry is bloomin’ incredible and deserves so much better than what he gets in this book. He’s always had a bad rep in OOTP for being an annoying, angsty teenager, but in my opinion, this is Harry at his most relatable and lovable. After everything Harry went through, he’s entitled to be angry with the world. He endured everything that he did and took the responsibility of the world onto his shoulders with little complaint, and in OOTP he reaches breaking point. Honestly, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner. The adults in Harry’s life are glaringly irresponsible in this book. Not only do they force him back to the Dursley’s after the hugely traumatic events of GOF based on some bull about “blood magic”, but they purposefully hide the truth from him even though that puts him at greater risk and adds to his emotional distress. Everyone around Harry expects him to be mature and act like an adult when he’s fighting against the darkest wizard of all time, yet don’t give him the courtesy or respect of telling him the truth about significant things that impact him and the people he loves. Sirius os the only person that refuses to belittle Harry, but in some ways, his behaviour is just as damaging as those that tried to shelter Harry from the truth, because he expects too much of Harry and projects James’ personality onto him. The adults around Harry fail him to such an extent in this book that he establishes the DA because he can’t even rely on the adults around him to keep him and his friends safe. Harry’s emotions in this book aren’t only understandable, but justified and I felt an even deeper connection to him as a result. His vulnerability shows his strength and courage more than ever before. This is the point where he goes from the Chosen One to a true champion, because even when he reaches rock bottom and wants to give up, he doesn’t walk away. I love Harry so much.

The Department of Mysteries is by far one of my favourite sections from any of the books. I love the friendship dynamics, Luna, Neville and Ginny are given the chance to really shine, the stakes are high, the action is great and despite the trauma of Sirius’ death, that moment is so hard-hitting and memorable. This section of the book just took it to a new level for me. It was really great.

The emotion of Sirius’ death was captured so perfectly, and is such a huge turning point for Harry. Like I said above, choosing to go on even after losing Sirius proves that Harry is a true hero; that he isn’t just doing what he was doing out of obligation or has been told to but because he believes in doing the right thing. I best move on before I continue to speak about how amazing Harry James Potter is.

Now we come to Neville. Can you believe that I’d actually forgot the details of Neville being the Chosen One? It was a blast learning about that again and how he’s connected to the prophecy. I also loved that we got to see his family and not just be told about it via dialogue. Neville is by far one of the most loveable and interesting minor characters in the series. He has so many great moments in books 1-4, but he really shines in OOTP.

The more I write about this book, the more I find things to love. It’s just a shame that the first half lets it down, because overall, I think there’s a lot of great material here in terms of plot and character development.

3. The Chamber of Secrets

I know that The Chamber of Secrets is generally ranked low amongst most fans, but I love it. At this point, the books were more simplistic and just fun, and I like that. I also have to acknowledge that I have a deep affinity for the COS movie - I grew up watching it over and over, and of all the movies it’s still the one I know best and always come back to (still can’t believe the “Why couldn’t it be follow the butterflies line?” wasn’t even in the books!)

I love all of the different elements in this book:

Dobby

The Burrow

The flying car

Whomping Willow

Moaning Myrtle

This idiot

Gilderoy Lockhart is one of my favourite antagonists in the entire series, because he isn’t intentionally bad, he’s just an arrogant fool. His primary concern is his image and reputation and he was willing to go to any lengths to maintain it. He’s a bad person in a subtle and hilarious way.

Generally speaking, there are too many fun and entertaining moments to count in this book. I love the childish-ness of this book in comparison to the darker tone the series adopts from POA onwards. For me, COS still has the silliness and merriment that I really associate HP with. Entertainment value aside, the plot in COS is actually well executed.

As a short, concise and effective plot, Tom Riddle’s diary and the Chamber of Secrets works incredibly well. I liked the mystery and suspense of the culprit of the Muggle born attacks, and the big moments connected to it - finding out that Hagrid might be the perpetrator, Ginny being possessed by Voldemort, Hermione being petrified, Harry speaking Parceltongue. The stakes are high and this plot is strong enough to keep momentum going between the more light hearted moments.

Overall, COS is a quick, easy and fun read. It may not be the best written or complex book in the series, but I’m a huge advocate for it. Not only is it highly entertaining, but it also introduced a lot of great and important aspects to the series (Horcruxes, Tom Riddle being the heir of Slytherin, Harry being connected to Voldemort, polyjuice potion and Dobby), and built very well on what was established in PS.

2. The Half Blood Prince

The biggest surprise of this re-read was how much I bloomin’ loved Half Blood Prince. It has the perfect balance of plot, character development, mystery, humour and emotion. Out of the bigger books in the series, this was the one I finished the fastest (2 days), because it was quite literally un-put-downable (yes, that’s a word).

First, let’s talk about the plot, because wow, it’s a good ‘un. In my opinion, it’s the strongest and best written plot from any of the books. There’s Voldemort’s backstory, the development of Harry and Dumbledore’s relationship, Snape’s backstory, the mystery of the Half Blood Prince, Harry’s rivalry/suspicion of Malfoy, hunting Horcruxes and Dumbledore’s death. This book feels like an incredible pay-off for things that have been built up in the previous 5 books. We learn so much about certain characters - Dumbledore, Snape, Malfoy, Voldemort, Ginny - and regardless of whether I liked those characters or not, I was invested. The clues that Snape is the Half Blood Prince are cleverly interwoven within the narrative and the mystery keeps you guessing, even when you know who it is.

The last part of this book from Chapter 26 onwards was just explosive. Although I knew what was coming, I was surprised at the level of emotion I felt when Dumbledore and Harry were in the cave and when Dumbledore died. My heart was racing and I had tears in my eyes.

This book just doesn’t let up for a second. If we aren’t learning more about Voldemort, we’re following Draco to see what he’s up to or unravelling mysteries around the Half Blood Prince or trying to get information from Slughorn about horcruxes. Even the down time is enjoyable to read in this book (Chapter 9 was one of my favourite chapters to read) and the friendships and banter are stellar.

In terms of character development, this is also one of the strongest books. Dumbledore is finally developed beyond the omnipotent Gandalf-esque archetype and we learn bout his past and his flaws.

"I have already proven to you, I make mistakes like the next man. In fact, being - forgive me - rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes tend to be correspondingly huger."

The focus on Dumbledore also sets it up for his death, and you know what? It works. If we’d lost Dumbledore prior to HBP, I would’ve been shocked and upset, but losing him at this point hurts that much more because we learn so much more about him, see how important he is to Harry and how vital his guidance is in defeating Voldemort. Dumbledore’s death feels like all hope is lost, and so soon after losing Sirius it feels even harsher.

Insight into Snape’s back-story finally explains some of his motivations and actions (though it does not condone them).

Although Voldemort’s backstory doesn’t necessarily add to our understanding of him, it’s interesting to see how he came into the world, and learn about his family background. What this demonstrated most to me is that a lot of the time there is no reason for evil. Voldemort didn’t really have any motivations for what he did. Sure, he didn’t have the perfect, happy childhood but there isn’t really enough substance there to try to explain how or why he became the monster that he did.

More could’ve been done with Malfoy, but I enjoyed him having a bigger presence in this book and how the idea that family shapes who we are isn’t always true. Draco does what is expected of him from his family, but ultimately, he has his own conscience and inner turmoil that forces him to question things.

As for Harry...he goes to a dark place in this book. OOTP has always been cpnsidered as the “angsty Harry”, but HBP takes Harry to new places. Harry feels more ruthless, reckless and determined in this book than any other. There’s an underlying sense of apathy that lingers from Sirius’ death. He obsesses about his mission to extract the memory from Slughorn and his lessons with Dumbledore, and fixates on his hatred for Draco and Snape. The fact that Harry uses Sectumsempra on Draco is honestly the most alarming thing that Harry does because it shows how dark a place Harry has gone to. He knows the spell is going to inflict serious harm and yet he uses it anyway.

Generally, Harry abuses the potions book and manipulates, lies and takes advantage of almost everyone around him. I really see his dependency on that book and his choice to exploit it for his own benefit as adverse effects of the grief and trauma he endured. For once, he has the upper hand and I’d even argue that despite the Half Blood Prince being anonymous stranger to him, he relies on him as a mentor or parental figure. Yet despite it being a dark book for Harry, he also seems to get some genuine peace with Ginny. Although I’m not a Hinny shipper, it was so nice to see Harry experience some normality and contentment. No matter what he goes through, he remains kind hearted. I actually feel like this book more than any other emphasises that point - Harry could just as easily have gone down the same path as Vodlemort, but he made a choice not to.

“In spite of all the temptation you have endured, all the suffering, you remain pure of heart, just as pure as you were at the age of eleven, when you stared into a mirror that reflected your hears desire and it showed you the only way to thwart Lord Voldement, and not immortality or riches. Harry, have you any idea how few wizards could have seen what you saw in the mirror?"

Plot and character development aside, the comedy in this book is gold and I appreciate the movie (and Daniel Radcliffe) for maximising on that to create some of the best and funniest scenes in the movie franchise. Chapter 18 in particular was hilarious.

Now I have to speak about one of my favourite moments from this book:

Since GoF, Fleur was grossly mistreated and discriminated against by the Weasley’s (Molly and Ginny in particular). The way they treated her was sexist and xenophobic pure and simple. They had no reason to dislike her and all of their reasons seemed to be built on some flimsy notion that she was full of herself (why, just because she was beautiful? and even if she was, what’s wrong with confidence?!) and that she was annoying and loud because she was French. Seeing Fleur finally stand up to their bigotry was fantastic. It’s a moment I’d been waiting for for so long and I’m so glad we got it, because frankly, Molly and Ginny’s beahviour towards Fleur needed to be addressed because it was disgusting.

Overall, HBP demonstrates the strengths of HP as a series. In comparison to the other books, I don’t really have anything to crituqe I enjoyed all of it from beginning to end, which is why it almost took the top spot in this ranking.

1. The Prisoner of Azkaban

It was really close between first and second place, but Prisoner of Azkaban just managed it. This is where the HP series truly takes off and starts to shine. In comparison to what we got in PS and COS it’s richer - the plot is complex, the world building is more developed, the characters are great and it’s generally an entertaining read but with added complexity in comparison to its predecessors.

I like that POA allows us to spend so much time in Hogwarts hanging out, but that the plot comes to the forefront more. We’re all so familiar with HP at this point that it’s easy to forget the impact the plot-twists must’ve punched the first time we read them. But for me, it’d been so long since I’d read the series, that it really was like reading them for the first time and POA was one of the ones that surprised me at various points.

I’d forgot details like:

The Shrieking Shack got its name and reputation because Lupin locked himself up there during transformations; The Whomping Willow was planted to hide the secret passage to the Shrieking Shack and prevent Lupin from escaping and hurting people in his werewolf form

Crookshanks was Sirius’ ally

Sirius escaped Azkaban in his dog form

Unsurprisingly, Remus and Sirius were the highlight of this book for me. I know it’s basic but I really love them and the two of them having such a focus in this book really makes it.

Remus truly shines in this book. He’s a lovable character – a great teacher, a supportive mentor and a loyal friend. His tragic backstory only adds to his character. Snape tries to villainise Remus for being a werewolf, but the reality is that he’s a victim. He was an innocent child that was bitten by a vicious, cruel monster and has to live with the consequences of that for the rest of his life. He carries so much self-loathing, fear and insecurity because of what he is and he doesn’t deserve it. Dumbledore is the only one that separates the man from the wolf and takes Remus on his merits. He knows that Remus is a genuinely good person and a talented teacher, and he’s willing to make the necessary adjustments to enable Remus equal opportunity. Not only does it benefit Remus for Dumbledore to do this, but the students too, because let’s face it, Remus is a bloody damn good teacher.

Remus is arguably the most decent and responsible adult character in the entire HP universe. He respects Harry’s agency but also acknowledges that he’s still a child that needs protection and guidance. Instead of lying to Harry or throwing him into dangerous situations, he does perhaps the most helpful thing any adult ever does for Harry – he teaches him how to defend himself. I love that Lupin and Harry’s relationship in this book foreshadows the formation of the DA in OOTP; Lupin is the only one that teaches Harry practical DATDA skills and in the absence of Lupin as a teacher, Harry then takes on that role as a mentor and provides his friends with the skills to defend themselves.

Now we come to Sirius. Introducing Sirius as the enemy – a dangerously, mad criminal who is conspiring with Voldemort and wants Harry dead – and then revealing him to be the complete opposite was genius. Part of me wished I could completely forget so that I could experience the utter shock of finding that out for the first time. The fact that Harry saw his parents in the Mirror of Erised in PS and then finds Sirius and Lupin in this book touches my heart. Sirius is a direct link to Harry’s parents unlike anything he’s ever had. Although on the surface, their bond develops too quickly, considering that Harry is 13 years old and all he wants more than anything is to have parents and/or a connection to his parents, his quick attachment to Sirius makes sense. The thought of living with Sirius makes Harry so happy that he used it to power his patronus!!! Likewise, Sirius clings to Harry knowing that he’s the son of his best friends. He spent the entirety of his time in Azkaban knowing Harry was still out there somewhere without James and Lily and in danger from Voldemort. Immediately, Sirius provides Harry with the type of comfort about his parents that he’s never received before.

“You think the dead we have loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don't recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble? Your father is alive in you, Harry, and shows himself most plainly when you have need of him. How else could you produce that particular Patronus? Prongs rode again last night.”

One of the highlights of this book is the scene where Snape catches Harry with the Marauders Map. That quote is just legendary.

"Mr Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business. Mr Prongs agrees with Mr Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git. Mr Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a Professor. Mr Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball."

Admittedly, the time travel in this book is problematic as hell. I’m grateful that Harry and Hermione were able to save Buckbeak and Sirius due to time travel, but if it was up to me, I’d remove time travel from the universe completely. It doesn’t fit, it’s too complicated and creates too many issues. McGonnagal condones the use of time travel for Hermione to attend extra lessons and yet won’t use it to tackle real, important problems, like I don’t know, war, death, disease, disasters etc. Not to mention the entire Voldemort problem and Harry becoming the Chosen One could’ve been resolved by going back to the night of James and Lily’s deaths.

One of my favourite elements of this book was seeing Ron and Hermione’s friendship with Hagrid. A lot of emphasis is placed on Harry’s friendship with Hagrid. but this book shows how devoted Ron and Hermione are to Hagrid. They both spend a lot of their time comforting him and helping him to prepare for Buckbeak’s trial.

This book has a great balance – it’s still on the shorter side but it doesn’t suffer for it. and here’s plenty of plot and character development. Ironically, whilst HBP is my favourite because of the emphasis on the main plot, POA is my favourite because it takes a break from Voldemort. It’s refreshing to take a step away from Voldemort and put the focus onto a new villain in Sirius, and then for the twist to be revealed that he’s not actually a villain but Harry’s godfather. The time-turner is the biggest draw-back in this book, but I can overlook that because there’s so much more to love in this book. It’s definitely the most re-readable book in terms of the length and plot. This book is a happy medium which incorporates the strengths from all of the other books in a smaller package than HBP - it’s fun but expands on the universe, introduces brilliant new characters and has a depth and complexity that the first two lack whilst not having the filler that books 4-7 have.

Conclusion

It’s hard to read these books without it being mingled with childhood nostalgia, so that undoubtedly informed my ranking. Despite being a children's series, the books still hold up reading them as an adult. I enjoyed rediscovering the smaller details I’d forgotten over the years and feel much closer to the universe as a result. The characters and their dynamics are by far my favourite thing about HP. I also enjoy the whimsical magic and how this is offset against the darker tone later in the series. However, in light of JKR’s hateful rhetoric, my attention was drawn to the problematic elements of the books such as the portrayal of slavery in addition to:

Lack of major/well-written characters of color

Anti-semitic caricature of goblin bankers

Cho Chang’s name (which many consider offensive), stereotypical placement in Ravenclaw (the smart house) while being the only East-Asian character in the books, and she functions almost exclusively as a love interest

Ableism all-around

Nagini, an evil snake who gets chopped in half, is actually an Asian woman according to Fantastic Beasts, making her the second of two named East Asian characters in the franchise

“Magic in North America,” a history of magic in North America published on Pottermore that grossly misappropriates and misconstrues Native American cultures

Anthony Goldstein, retconned token Jewish character, also stereotypically named

General stereotypical naming of non-Anglo-Saxon characters

Remus Lupin’s werewolf status as an AIDS metaphor while depicting his condition as making him monstrous, and the man who bit him goes around biting people for kicks

Declaring that Dumbledore is gay with exactly 0 in-canon references, and no other LGBTQ+ representation (article credit: Separating Art from Artist - Thoughts on J.K. Rowling written by Melina List on Medium)

This is the last time I will read these books, partly because I’ve outgrown them, but mostly because I can’t, without a heavy conscience ignore the relationship between JKR’s hateful views and her works. If you want to learn more about this, I’d recommend checking out a post from my_weird_bookish_heart on Instagram which explains why we couldn’t and shouldn’t ignore the problems in these books by adopting a “art is separate from the artist” mentality (if you would like the link to this please message me and I’l be happy to share it. We can all still love and enjoy HP, but we all have a moral duty to acknowledge and take responsibility for this and not feign ignorance. Views like JKR’s directly harm individuals and groups, not just in the trans community but also the Jewish and LGBTQIA+ communities and people of colour. I can’t and won’t accept that in silence. No matter how special HP was to me as a child, the lives of real humans are unquestionably more important.

Thank you for reading.

#hp #harry potter #hp books #harry potter books #hp review #hp book review #hp meta #mine #my meta #reposting from my sideblog cos i spent legit HOURS writing this and adding gifs and don't wanna lose it when i delete the blog

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maryroyale · 3 years

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The lovely @curiouselfqueen tagged me on this one. (Thank you! I love these things.)

Uh. I have *feelings* about these? I have no idea why I feel so strongly, but... uh... there you go.

deep violet or blood red? Both? Not at the same time, but I love both. Purple and red are both power colors, but they convey very different things. Old ladies are allowed to wear both because they have the power to pull it off.

sunshine or moonlight? Oof. My default answer is moonlight? Some of the medication I’m on makes my eyes super-sensitive to sunlight. I’m like a damn vampire. Even on cloudy days I need sunglasses. I like seeing the sunlight through the trees when I’m in the woods? It’s pretty and far less painful.

Don’t get me wrong—I do love the moonlight. It’s so beautiful. Winter moonlight and summer moonlight are gorgeous.

80s music or 90s music? How dare you! Don’t speak to me or my 874 music genres ever again. Seriously though, I really love music. I listen to a wide variety of genres and some artists span decades. I love new wave and synthpop, but I also love pop punk and the swing revival. I can’t say one decade is better than the other.

orchids or dahlias? I like to garden, and from a gardening standpoint it’s dahlias all the way. Orchids are a wildly diverse species (over 25,000 types), but the pretty, delicate orchids they sell in stores are not hardy and require a lot of intensive, specific support. They’ll die if you plant them outside where I live. And the garden outside is what makes me happy and brings me joy.

garnet or ruby? These are such different stones. It’s almost like asking if I like chocolate milk or cola. Yes, they are both brown and you can drink them—but they’re really not similar.

Garnet— it’s semi-precious, plentiful, in use since antiquity. A decent go-to stone for jewelry. Like any gemstone, the color is determined by the type of impurities, so garnet can be almost any color. Blue garnets are the rarest. The Mohs scale for garnet depends on those same impurities because some can actually strengthen the hardness of the stone. Generally 6 to 7.5 on the Mohs scale.

I like garnets. Depending on the talent of the jeweler you can get lovely pieces set in silver that won’t cost an arm, a leg, and your soul. It was also my mother’s birthstone, so there’s that.

Ruby— Occasionally confused with spinels, rubies are pieces of corundum that contain the impurity chromium. Corundum that contains the impurities iron, titanium, vanadium, or magnesium are usually blue and referred to as sapphires. (Pink sapphires are actually poor quality rubies that the jewelry industry decided to rebrand to dupe the public. Similar to “chocolate diamonds” and other attempts to sell gems that don’t meet the criteria for their type.)

Corundum is a 9 on the Mohs scale. They highly sought after, have a rich mythos surrounding them, and feature prominently in history.

It seems like a lot of hype to me? They’re sturdy pieces of jewelry, not prone to breakage, but they ought to be for the price you pay. They’re pretty, I’ll grant you that.

moths or butterflies? Well, one is nocturnal and one is diurnal. One is fuzzy and stocky and one is smooth and slender. One is drab and one is brightly colored. I feel like I should picks moths on principle. I love Luna Moths. But butterflies are so very, very pretty. Moths I guess?

Aphrodite or Athena? Okay... so, um, here’s where it’s going to get heated. I apologize. I am *specifically* addressing how Athena and Aphrodite were worshipped/treated in Greek myths. I’m not looking at proto versions from Minoa, Mycenae, or Phoenicia. I’m also not looking at later syncretizations with other cultures e.g. Rome. It is the Greek myths that matter here because those are the myths and attitudes that were directly incorporated into Western culture. We’ve learned a lot about their origins, but *those* myths and attitudes were *not* incorporated into mainstream Western culture.

Athena was either born from Zeus’ head or his thigh. Either she has no mother—Zeus is her only parent—or Zeus swallowed her mother Metis (wisdom, prudence, counsel). This is critically important. In Athenian law, the father was the only legal parent. Mothers had no legal rights to their children at all. Athena is a very real symbol of that.

She is often portrayed as the goddess of wisdom, handicraft, and war. She is a goddess of industry (wine and olive oil). The thing we must ask is what kind of wisdom? What kind of war?

Plato argues this in Cratylus— that Athena’s wisdom could be a number of things from divine knowledge to moral intelligence. I think it’s important that Plato, one of Greece’s most celebrated philosophers, and more important one of the philosophers most embraced by Western Culture praised this choice of “moral intelligence.” [see Plato’s stance on poets in The Republic.]

Athena’s war is not the war of Ares, which is tied to passion and emotion. Ares represents the brutal aspects of war where humanity gives way to cruelty and inhumanity. Athena’s warfare is rational and “just.” Athena makes war on behalf of the city-state. Athena makes war to defend the government.

Athena’s purpose in myth and in poetry and song is to support the government. She is the shield of the king. She upholds and enforces the status quo. Look at her role in the Orestes trilogy. She supplants the Erinyes [the furies originally hunted and tormented ppl who committed matricide]. She decides that Iphigenia’s murder didn’t matter. Clytemnestra (Iphigenia’s mother) didn’t have the right to revenge for her daughter. Orestes was *justified* in murdering his mother because she killed his parent, his father.

Aphrodite also has a motherless birth, but it’s more incidental and spontaneous. Kronos cuts off his father Uranus’ genitals ( like you do ) and tosses them into the sea. Aphrodite is born from the sea foam. There’s a different feel to Aphrodite’s myth. An independence almost. Yes, a male god was involved because it’s a Greek requirement for any child, but it’s in such an incidental way. There was no purpose or intent on Uranus’ part. He had no control over her birth.

Aphrodite is an incredibly independent goddess. She owns her own sexuality and has autonomy over her own body. She is often referred to as the wife of Hephaestus, but in both the Iliad and Hesiod’s Theogony, Hephaestus has wives with different names and Aphrodite is unmarried.

A goddess with this kind of freedom and power in her own right—not tied to a husband or male family member (sorry Artemis!)— is almost unheard of. It makes Aphrodite unique and interesting.

TLDR: I prefer Aphrodite.

grapefruit or pomegranate? Pomegranate. For so many reasons, not the least of which is it’s associations with death and fertility. It’s a lovely contrast and a reminder that death brings forth life e.g. Nurse logs.

angel’s halo or devil’s horns? Oof. This is another rant, guys. Horns as a symbol of divine power are used throughout history and throughout the Indo-European culture. From Egyptian gods like Amun and Isis to Hindu gods like Śiva to Canaanite gods like El and Yahweh, horns have been used to show their power and might. Moses has most famously been depicted with horns due to murky/difficult translations of the Hebrew verb keren/qaran, which can mean BOTH “to send forth beams/rays” and “to be horned”.

There was a concerted effort to associate horns with the devil/evil/bad. Horns are also used to imply fertility/abundance, and that may have played into the perception of horns as devilish. Moses with horns was used as a jumping off point to demonize Jewish people during the Medieval period in a variety of European countries and cultures.

Halos, too, have been used across history and cultures as a symbol of divine power. Sumerian literature talks about a bright emanation that appears around gods and heroes. Chinese and Japanese Buddhist art shows Buddhist saints with halos.

I choose horns because I choose to reclaim that divine power. I reject the idea that either symbol is wholly good or wholly evil. I reject the idea that sexuality by itself is evil/wrong.

sirens or banshees? Both!!! I must admit a partiality to Sirens that is based wholly on my preference for the sea/ocean.

lorde or florence + the machine? Both!!! I love both groups and I’ve listened to their albums so many times. I will admit that I end up listening to Lorde more often when writing.

the birth of venus or the starry night? Huh. I’m going to assume that you mean the painting by Boticelli, even though there’s more than one Birth of Venus.

Honestly, Venus Anadyomene (Venus rising from the sea) is my favorite. It’s her origin myth and anyone could paint it, draw it, write about it, and put their own spin on it. It is malleable because it is myth. It lives on and changes and grows with us. Boticelli’s version is particularly lovely.

Starry Night (1889) belongs to VanGogh. No one can really recreate it without copying his style or his vision. Verschuier’s The Great Comet of 1680 Over Rotterdam could never really be confused with Starry Night. Not even Munch’s Starry Night (1893) could be confused for VanGogh. The two paintings are wildly different in subject matter despite the fact that their subject is the night sky.

I doubt any modern painter would dare. O’Keefe called hers Starlight Night, and I can only guess that others would follow that naming pattern of not quite using the title Starry Night.

Boy, I bet @curiouselfqueen is regretting tagging me now... sorry?

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dazais-guardian-angel · 3 years

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Hi! Since you seem to be into a lot of different stuff can you share anime recommendations? If you have any. Have a lovely day!! You seem like such a sweet person

What 🥺🥺🥺 a-awww, thank you so much anon!! That’s so kind of you to say... I’m just a nut crying feels into the void over my obscure faves over here, without a consistent one fandom anymore a;lksfklkfg though I guess now it’s just egg, but thank you! ❤️ I have a lot of anime recommendations I can give, but I don’t know what exactly you’re into, or if you’re looking for anything in particular...? But I can definitely list some!

The big popular ones you probably already know about are My Hero Academia and Attack on Titan, I’ll get those out of the way first. I have my gripes with MHA and it has a lot of flaws that can’t be ignored, but overall it’s a really fun and high-energy and uplifting shounen series that has some really beautiful messages and moments, with a wonderful and touching main duo of main characters, and amazing animation and music; it’s as popular as it is for a reason, it’s just such a feel-good show and I’d always recommend it, even if I do complain about it sometimes haha. Attack on Titan on the other hand, I know hyperbole like this is like ugh really, but I really do mean it when I say it is an absolute masterpiece in the making; the first season feels very run-of-the-mill, typical shounen, which I wasn’t a big fan of like everyone else was at the peak of its initial hype years ago, but the show changes and evolves so much, beyond what you could ever imagine, honestly, and now by this point, when it’s almost at its end (the manga is literally ending a week from today), I can almost definitively say it’s one of the best anime out there. Everything in it is foreshadowed from the very first episode, the puzzle and mysteries unfold so masterfully and it all ties together so well, the story’s themes and the characters are all amazing, the music is GODLY and so is the animation, it’s just perfect, please please everyone watch AoT.

Bungou Stray Dogs is also pretty popular, and is one of my personal favorite animanga of all time; it’s a mystery/supernatural action semi-steampunk series with a huge focus on the characters and some AMAZING found family dynamics, seriously if you want found family for the love of god watch BSD, I love all these characters and their relationships so so much. Season 3 isn’t as good an adaptation of the manga, sadly, but the first two seasons and especially season 2 are absolutely amazing, and I would recommend the manga in a heartbeat as well. Noragami I adore for much of the same reasons, with the besttt found family dynamics and a really great balance between comedy and drama, though with Noragami in particular I would for sure stress to read the manga afterward, because the anime falls short near the end of season 2 and leaves so much unfinished, and the manga is absolutely phenomenal, one that like the rest of these will probably always remain in my top ten manga.

If you like shoujo, Akatsuki no Yona is my favorite shoujo of all time, with - once - again, wonderful found familyyy in a historical setting, really lovely slow progression of character development, and some fantastic action and music. The anime leaves so much unanswered and unfinished so the manga is an absolute must here, but I still just have to mention it because the anime is just so damn good in adapting what it covers, especially combined with the OVAs still waiting for that season 2 *cries*.

Assassination Classroom is a comedy/drama(??) shounen that ended a few years ago; it’s VERY funny and entertaining to watch, with an almost seamless transition into high emotional beats that left me speechless at how invested in and attached I suddenly was, and the ending, I’m not exaggerating, made me cry harder than literally anything else I have ever watched in my life, it is that devastating. Highly highly recommend AssClass yes that’s the nickname, I love it so so much, but be prepared to have your feels hit by a truck.

Free! is a really good sports anime with really great characters, and yes I am saying this completely unironically, I highly recommend Free’s first two seasons; just please for the love of god pretend season 3 does not exist. Run With the Wind is my other favorite sports anime that is CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED, it’s so motivational and uplifting and all the characters are so damn nice and endearing, and it has a fantastic score by the same composer as MHA and Haikyuu’s osts; EVERYONE WATCH RWTW IT IS SO SO GOOD.

Made in Abyss is another anime that is likely to never fully conclude the manga’s story, but the one season and movie that we do have is an absolute animated masterpiece in every imaginable way, so I would be remiss if I didn’t recommend it; it’s haunting and beautiful and very hard to watch at times, but so so worth it. Princess Tutu is, to me, the best magical girl anime of all time, dark beautiful fantasy with a wonderful four main characters and one of my favorite “villain” redemption arcs ever, not to mention one of the best enemies-to-lovers story arc I’ve ever seen. Of course my other favorite magical girl anime is the much-loved Puella Magi Madoka Magica, that is also dark but not without a purpose, twelve tightly-written episodes that wrap up perfectly by the end, with not a single minute wasted.

Poco’s Udon World is my favorite fluffy slice of life show; it’s also criminally underrated and SO sweet, it makes me cry every time I watch it with how goddamn precious it is, and I so wish more people knew about it. No.6 is a great short bl romance/sci-fi anime, and Romeo x Juliet is one of my favorite older romance anime, based on... well, the title is self-explanatory.

Mystery is my favorite genre in any media, so I have a lot of these haha. Gankutsuou is a supernatural mystery/drama/suspense/thriller based off the famous novel The Count of Monte Cristo, and it still remains one of my favorite anime of all time; the tension builds so WELL with each and every episode, the story is so gripping and so so tragic, and it always makes me cry by the last few episodes; a very underrated gem (also it has one of the most unique animation styles I’ve ever seen). Gosick is another mystery anime I adore, though it’s more of a slow-burn romance with some episodic mysteries before diving into an overarching plot; it’s actually what I tell people is my #1 favorite anime, just because the Victorian aesthetic is so me, but it’s so unknown that I never really get a chance to talk about it, haha. Mawaru Penguindrum is a mystery/drama/comedy anime that is extremely bizarre and philosophical, it’s honestly impossible to explain without just seeing it yourself alkfglalksdk, but it has a lot of family feels and is extremely touching and satisfying by the end despite all the weirdness, at least to me, so I always try to recommend it, though it won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. Erased is another fantastic short mystery/drama/suspense thriller, with some really moving moments and wonderful atmosphere and tension; the ending falls a little flat, but that doesn’t ruin how amazing the rest of it is (and I’d also recommend the live-action Netflix version, which has the proper ending from the manga). And I guess I’ll throw in Moriarty the Patriot too when it comes to mystery/crime thriller anime, which I’m still currently watching and is still ongoing, but I absolutely LOVE it so far, more people should be watching and reading it.

I have a lot more I could list too, to be honest 😅 I just pulled some of my favorites from the list on my About page ahaha, and a range of popular known ones to more obscure underrated ones. But I hope some of these suit your fancy, anon, sorry I tend to ramble ALKSDFKLFLSKDF I just wanted to be thorough since I didn’t know if you were after a particular genre or not! I hope you have a lovely day too! ❤️

#replies #me: i can list some #me: *summarizes fucking all of them*#take a shot every time I use the words 'masterpiece' 'absolutely 'definitely' 'of all time' or 'found family'#vocab level over 9000 👌👌👌#not me not including hxh or ph #self care bitches 😌#Anonymous

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dukeofonions · 4 years

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Reaction Redux (I know it doesn’t make sense but it sounds cool)

Alright, here is my initial reaction to Putting Others First: Selfishness vs Selflessness Redux.

It’s finally here, I’ve watched it a total of two times and currently have it on in the background as I type this, and I have a lot of feelings. All of which would be too much for one post, so after I do this I’ll be making a few separate posts addressing certain points I’d like to expand on further.

So what I’m going to do is have the video playing as I write this out, that way I don’t miss out anything I wanted to discuss. Basically it’s not gonna be a full on analysis, just a lot of random ramblings with what I hope are some insightful gems sprinkled throughout. Consider these my notes for all my future serious analysis posts.

Good? Great. Let’s go. (Also spoilers under the cut)

So, how did I feel as I watched the video for the first time? Well considering I got the notification for the video while I was still at work, I couldn’t get as excited as I wanted to be about it because I didn’t get off until 8pm and had to deal with one too many dunderheads so I was pretty grumpy once I got off.

However, as soon as I got home and retreated to the safety of my isolation fortress (aka my bedroom) I was finally able to get excited as I got on my laptop and pulled up the video and let me just say I was a mess the entire time. I missed my boys!!! I knew they wouldn’t all be present, but I still missed my boys!!! And I loved seeing them again!!!

First things first, that song at the beginning! I think it’s called Review Redux (correct me if I’m wrong) it’s such a freaking bop and I wish it was longer because I could listen to it all day. I loved the artwork and little details that went into their characters, and how each of the circles represented who was singing/talking by their colors. Fun stuff and a great way to recap everything! As well as foreshadow things to come within the episode… “If our goals aligned with his what would that say?” Roman you’re in for a rude awakening bud…

Also, the little moment near the beginning where Patton is about to shut Thomas’ negative thinking down, but stops himself and allows Thomas to explain why he feels that way. Showing that he’s learned to ease up just a little since he learned to do so in Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts. Good for you Patton.

Speaking of Patton, oh he is so confused. I understand where he’s coming from, and honestly everything he said are things I have been taught growing up, and this is something I’ll address in another post because I have a lot of things to say about it. But just know that I adore the development Patton has been going through and watching him grow and mature.

Oh yes, I must mention I was pleasantly surprised to see Logan. I didn’t think he’d show up in this episode, or at the very least have a brief appearance, but I love how he took part and by far the funniest part in this episode (to me) is when he had so much to say in one little post that it popped up and hit Patton in the nose. It was one of the few moments where I laughed out loud and I rewound it a few times on my first viewing.

Plus Thomas being more concerned about the blinds than Patton. My type of humor. And Roman actually gets to use his sword for once, good for him!

(Funny enough as I typed this the video got to that part at the exact same time so I got a nice little laugh again)

Which brings up my next point: Logan getting yoinked after Patton skips his dialogue. No one talks about how he does his little impression of that philosopher, am I the only one who found that utterly adorable?

Let Logan geek out over philosophers please. He clearly loves it so much.

Then we get to Roman believing he’s the one responsible for everything, wanting to give up the driver’s seat to Patton. And just… This exchange of dialogue:

Thomas: “Roman, I only mean well when I say…” Thomas: “That that is the stupidest thing you have ever said.” Roman: “Oh Thomas, you’re just blowing smoke.”

I don’t know why I enjoy this so much but I do. Give me more of this. I crave it now.

And I just need to make a whole post about Patton in this video, there is so much to unpack with him alone.

Looking back and noticing that Thomas only starts listening to Logan after he’s been replaced by Deceit kinda hurts.

Speaking of which, can we appreciate how much better Deceit has gotten at impersonating Logan? Looks like he took Roman’s advice and focused on the little things. Good for him.

Alright, one of my absolute favorite parts from this episode and where things really start to shine: Patton freaks out and turns into a giant frog because he’s so desperate to have an answer for them he flips and honestly, sounds a little crazy. Which, I don’t know why but I find it both menacing and hilarious at the same time?

Also the fact he turns into a frog because he was talking about Frogger earlier, nice touch! (And Lilypadton that’s so cute)

Then we get probably the single greatest character entrance in the history of character entrances. We find out that Deceit finally reveals himself and steps in to stand up to Patton and get him to see how his actions have been having a negative effect on Thomas.

The way his voice changes from Logan’s to his own, his music kicking in, “The Lord of the Lies” oh my gosh it’s all just perfect! Also Roman’s “Reptilian Rapscallion! Reptilian Rapscallion! We’ve got a code yellow!”

And if I may: Roman: “What have you done with Logan?!” Deceit: “Nothing at all and I resent the question.”

WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM YOU SNEK?!

(in all honest probably nothing but what if)

Important to note here that Roman instantly begins defending Patton from Deceit as soon as he accuses him of misleading Thomas. This goes to show just how much Roman views him as a villain. Or in other words: Patton, good. Deceit, bad. A viewpoint he continues to hold onto until the end of the episode, which also deserves it’s entire post because we all know how much turbulence that caused within the fandom.

And to the observant eye, you’ll notice that the cane (or staff) Deceit uses is the same one that dragged Logan off screen.

Frog puns. That is all.

I just, I love Deceit’s dialogue throughout this scene. It’s stuff I need to hear and tell myself on a regular basis. And I’d honestly rewatch this part (along with the rest of what Deceit and Logan say later on in the video) because it’s all something I need to also teach myself. But this ain’t meant to be a personal post so I’ll just move on.

Deceit’s walk towards the camera. I don’t know why. It’s so smooth. He’s amazing. I love him. Snek…

I have problems don’t @ me.

Also no one is mentioning the reference to that one “Turn based rpg” short that Thomas made with his friends and I find that sad because it’s a neat and fitting reference given the theme of this video. Also earlier on when the trolley problem is first brought up all the people on the bottom track are Thomas’ friends. Another neat little detail, though sadly, their digital selves perished.

PETER SINGER

Logan doesn’t seem to like Deceit much, not outright hate him or anything, but it’s more like he just tolerates him but doesn’t seek to get on good terms with him. Which is a shame because as both parts of SVS have proven, these two have the capacity to work together. Which is why I hope Logan gets a debate episode with him as well because out of all the Sides, these two have interacted the least and that needs to be remedied (especially when they’re my two favorites)

Deceit is trying to make Roman understand, but he’s so caught up in this black and white thinking that he disregards everything Deceit says! Why? Because the last time he tried to hear Deceit out he was reprimanded. (In other words, I relate to Roman so much in this that it hits a little too close to home and I’m definitely making a separate post about this.

Deceit: *confused* Trees? And I’m so glad I found out I’m not the only dunce who thought Deceit’s name was going to be written on his hand…

But seriously this whole moment, with the buildup, Deceit’s reluctance to share his name, the music, I’d put it up there with Virgil’s “I was one of them” for best Sanders Sides scenes.

Also, Deceit’s name is Janus! I was a little iffy about it at first, but since I didn’t ever really have a prediction for his name, I wasn’t disappointed and the name is growing on me.

And then, the moment of trust is immediately ruined by Roman laughing. Dude, come on. (again though, post for another time because I understand where Roman is coming from here)

In all seriousness though I just love the last bits of this episode. The emotion, the angst, it doesn’t hold back and I appreciate the team taking things a step further than normal. Usually, moments like this are followed up by a joke to play it off, but they don’t do that after Roman sinks out. They stay in the moment until it’s had time to sink in. I wish the episode had ended a little more somberly, but I think this is a good step in the right direction. Showing that there won’t always be a 100% happy conclusion to things. Sometimes you need to take time in between to figure things out.

This line: “Do you think there’s a limit to how many times someone can say sorry before you have to admit that they’re just bad for you?” This line is so important to me within the context of the episode and outside of it. I won’t get too personal but I will say that I was raised to believe that if a person wronged me in any way, that if they said sorry, I had to forgive them. Even if they did the same thing over and over and over again. As long as they apologize, you have to forgive them and move on. And that has messed me up in so many different ways, especially when those people are family.

Janus sums it up best with “It depends” because yes, some people make the same mistakes again and again. But there’s a difference between someone trying to change and accidentally falling back on old habits, and someone taking advantage of your “forgiveness” that they continue to do those hurtful things because they know they can get away with it and not have to change.

Also, while it’s totally fine for people to dislike Patton, I can’t understand how anyone could watch this episode and claim that he’s still the same as he was at the beginning of SVS Part One because he has changed. He has finally realized just how much he’s been hurting Thomas, and even Roman. He sinks out at the end to apologize to him, he recognizes his faults, and he’s seeking to make amends. He wants to do the right thing here, and keep in mind that recently a lot of his views (which are also Thomas’ views) have been flipped on their heads and they both need to rethink some things. It’s part of growing up and becoming your own person.

I need to make a whole post about the more personal things that I got from the last three episodes (excluding Asides) because there’s just so many important things these episodes teach and I feel the need to address them.

Also everyone sleeping on the fact that Leslie Odom Jr. just casually makes an appearance and attempts to start a pilot episode for his own series “Odom Sides” which I wish him luck on. He just wants to be in the room where it happens.

Everything Patton did was for Thomas, so he wouldn’t be left in the dark again. He promised to keep fighting but ultimately, ended up fighting himself. Am I deep yet?

“Those imperfections don’t make you any less worthy of love” can you tell how much this episode means to me yet?

Janus’ “I’ll take care of him.” Ack, he just cares so much… My gosh… Where did this character come from and what did he do with the slimy boi? (I mean that in two different ways)

Oh, there he is. That’s my boi.

“There are smarter ways to get people to do what you want anyway.” “There are much less barbaric, much more fun, forms of sabotage.”

Parallels? Maybe? What the heck I love Janus whether he’s encouraging Thomas to look after his mental health or plot his schemes in the shadows. Do I trust Janus? Oh heck no, of course not. There is something suspicious going on here and I both love it and hate it. More on that in a different post though.

“You’re not stuck with an evil snake boi. You’re just stuck with a snek boi.”

Yes Thomas, continue to overthink every little issue until it results in a mental breakdown. Hm, sounds like what someone with anxiety does… I suppose that’s why this series exists.

Okay call me a bad person but I almost always space out during Thomas’ messages to the viewers at the end of the videos. I don’t know why but I cannot focus on them to save my life and usually end up skipping past them to get to the end card. I dunno, maybe because it takes me out of the moment? Especially during episodes where they don't’ address the audience at all and then suddenly “Oh yeah! This is a Youtube series lol” it just feels out of place in more story driven episodes like this one.

Okay am I the only one that’s kinda creeped out by Lee and Mary Lee? I dunno they just seem, off. Like if they were characters in a horror movie they’d be that overly nice couple that turn out to be the killers. Those are the vibes they give me. Maybe it’s because I have zero people skills due to being homeschooled all my life and the only social interaction I get is with coworkers so I dunno. They still creep me out. They creep me out more than Remus. And he legit freaked me out for a bit before he stole my heart. (I suppose this means I need to make a separate post about these two because I do have some opinions about whether or not it was a good idea to actually include them at the end. When I said I had too many thoughts about this episode I meant it)

And if the end card is any indication, I’m going to assume that the Sides are invisible to everyone except Thomas. Unless they’re just “observing” and not even Thomas can see them at this point, given he shows no indication of seeing or hearing them there. Maybe they get to choose when they’re visible? Or Thomas does? I dunno, the rules of this universe have never been clearly stated and are inconsistent.

I didn’t expect Patton to be the first to accept Janus, and I’m kinda glad I was proven wrong. It does seem fitting with Patton’s growth and I liked their little moment at the end.

And that wraps up my commentary. I hope you found something in this mess of, things. I plan to go more in depth with my separate posts which I’m going to have fun writing, so be on the lookout for those!

Also at the time of writing this I now have 63 followers?! Thank y’all so much! I never thought this blog would get this far and I’m so glad it did because I’m having a lot of fun with it and hope to bring out more content regularly! Again, thank you!!

#sanders sides #ts spoilers #sanders sides spoilers

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chatblancismyfursona · 5 years

Text

!!! MAJOR ANGST WARNING !!!

The Peacock Miraculous' power went to existential dread really fricking quick. It can create sentient human-like beings which can actually think and feel but in the end all their emotions and pain are just an illusion. Imagine knowing you are sentimonster, your only connection to the reality you live in being a single feather. You could be gone at the snap of the Miraculous' users fingers. And the object in which basically your entire existence is contained in, could break any second, and will leave you...what exactly? Where do sentimonster go which have been "destroyed" or "killed"? Can you even call it "killed" since you never were a real living being to begin with? Will you just disappear? Every emotion, every feeling you ever felt, every experience you experienced, every memory gathered...Gone.

Maybe this isn't so bad. After all, we don't know if there is a afterlife and if really everyone will just be a faint glimmer in the endless stream that is time and which will take everything with it at some point. But if there is. You? There isn't a place for you in that paradise. You don't have a "soul". You are just the embodiment of an emotion that somebody felt long ago. That emotion has faded already, and you will too at some point.

You fall, you bleed. You cry, you feel. You are hungry, you eat. You live, you breath. If you function like a human, what is that that you think is missing? A soul? The illusion of having a soul? Being oblivious of your true nature? You feel hollow inside. Your chest begins to hurt and you ask yourself if life really is meaningless. If the emotions you felt and you thought were real, can just be created easily, does that mean what people validate as "life" is just not that full of worth? You look at the nightsky and at the stars, which have been watched by all other people before you who were slowly losing themselves in a train of thoughts. Thinking about the meaning and purpose of their life. And then you realize:

Maybe you are not so different from humans after all.

...

Sorry for the philosophical rant you guys! It's a mess I honestly just wrote what popped into my mind at that moment Maybe I'm just a dramatic bitch but the recent Peacock Miraculous' power reveal and the theory of Adrien being a Sentimonster all along made me think not only of the ethics of the Miraculous but also the meaning of life, artificial life, what is "life" exactly, etc.

But it is true that what makes this power really terrifing is the fact that the user can just create consciousness at any given time and take it away from that "person" again. I was also reminded of my favourite anime of all time: Madoka Magica (Spoiler Alert if you haven't watched it but want to): The girls find out that their souls have been transformed into soul gems after making a contract, their fomer bodies are now nothing but hollow shells and their gems are their real bodies and if they were to break they'd die, not knowing where they would go. I think that is really similar to what I described in my rant (with the object being your entire existence basically and stuff), only difference is that Sentimonsters don't have a "soul", which just gives me more existential crisis tbh.

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teaveetamer · 4 years

Text

My Issues With TFioS (and Other Elements of John Green)

Alright I’m just going to preface this with two things.

It’s been about six years since I’ve read the entire thing through, so my points are probably not going to be as detailed or precise as they were when I first read it.

If you enjoyed the book, identify with the fanbase, or like John Green in any capacity... Great! You might want to skip this one. This is definitely not the post for you. I’m going to put all of my more controversial thoughts under the cut so if you don’t want to see them you can just move on.

I brought up the book in that other post because I felt it had relevance to the discussion of “authors using characters as a mouthpiece”, but that’s only a small part of my issue with the book itself. I suppose I could have used a fanfiction example, since there’s more than enough fodder there, but I brought up The Fault in our Stars specifically because I feel comfortable criticizing a book in a way that I don’t feel comfortable criticizing fan works. John Green is a public figure that produced a paid product, made money, and does this professionally, while most fanfic authors are amateurs that provide free entertainment and just do it for fun.

Now with that said, we move on to the meat of the post.

Some Background

Perhaps this is not a little known fact, but I absolutely adore love stories. I don’t have incredibly high standards for them by any means, and in fact I actively enjoy them even when they aren’t the deepest, most thought provoking pieces. Someone got me a copy of Red, White, and Royal Blue for my birthday this year and I read the entire thing cover to cover in a day (and I seriously recommend if you’re looking for a pretty easy read with a lot of gay).

The only thing I love more than love stories? Tragic love stories, of course. If anyone has followed my fanfiction or main blog for any amount of time then you know that I love a little bit of tragedy. Usually with a happy ending, but not always. So when one of my friends shoved (and I mean literally shoved) The Fault in Our Stars into my hands and billed it as a “tragic but heartwarming love story” I thought it would be perfect for me.

I was sixteen at the time, the target age demographic, and I was always looking for books with smart, well written teen characters. At this point in my life I’d never heard of John Green or his fanbase before. I tell you this because I disliked the book as I read it, but I think John Green and his fanbase are a major factor in why I disliked it so much I’m willing to sit down and write a blog post about it six years later. Granted, that’s not all on the book, but it is a factor.

Needless to say, I was not all that impressed by it. At some points I was downright infuriated, really.

My Issues With the Book

In summary, it feels very meh and overly pretentious. After about two chapters I just wanted to put it down, and the only reason I pushed through is because my friend insisted that it got better. She said it was funny, relatable, and intelligent, but I found it to be none of these things.

The impression I got was that the author, whoever he was, fancied himself terribly clever and he wanted everyone to know it. You know the type, the kinds of people that go around and assure everyone of how smart they are? It feels like it was made for haughty teens to brag about how intelligent they were because they read a “deep” book. The book itself, despite being a surface level of “witty”, didn’t really have anything to say. In the end it reads like a thirty-something year old man bragging about how smart he is and waxing philosophical about the nature of life (and... Breakfast food..?) and using a fictional teenage girl to do it.

That’s why I brought up the “mouthpiece” thing. I didn’t want to read a book about a thirty-something dressing up his thoughts as a teenage girl. I wanted to read a book about a teenage girl.

Speaking of Hazel Grace… I don’t know if this is a common experience, but can anyone else tell when a man writes a female character? I find that I usually can. Men have a particular voice when they write, and especially when they write women. Every single page hammered me over the head with the fact that this was a man who was trying (and, in my opinion, failing miserably) to write a relatable teenage girl. And, in my opinion, he parroted a lot of very upsetting, dangerous mentalities for young women.

There were quite a few “I’m not like other girls, and not just because of the cancer!” moments (a mentality that I find wholly problematic coming from other women, let alone a man writing for a woman) that just had me rolling my eyes straight out of their sockets. She doesn’t care about shoes, see! She reads books! Isn’t that awesome and unique? Because, apparently, women are not allowed to do both.

These problematic mentalities extend into the book’s romance plot, too. Augustus is, frankly, one of the creepiest motherfuckers I’ve ever had the displeasure to read about. Not only is his aggressive creepiness portrayed as romantic, but Hazel reacts exactly how men wish women would react to their advances. Unfortunately I don’t have a copy of the book in front of me so you won’t get much in the way of direct quotes, but some examples include:

He stares at her, completely unblinking, for the duration of their cancer kids support group meeting… before they’ve even so much as spoken a word to each other. Which also features this gem of a quote: "A nonhot boy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at worst, a form of assault. But a hot boy . . . well." which just perpetuates the disgusting misconception that women are okay with being creeped on as long as a guy is attractive. Spoiler alert: We fucking aren’t.

He repeatedly refers to Hazel as “Hazel Grace”, despite her introducing herself as “Hazel” and asking him to just call her “Hazel”. And not only does he ask for her full name, he demands she give it to him. This rings all kinds of alarm bells for me, because you know who else does that kind of shit? Christian Grey. And it’s manipulative, disrespectful, and downright rude. It is essentially saying “I hear your desires, but I would prefer to address you how I want to address you, not how you would like to be addressed, because my ego is more important than your comfort”.

Hazel is perfectly fine with getting into a complete stranger’s car and spending time at his house mere minutes after meeting with him and after all of the questionable shit he just pulled.

Continuing this book’s litany of problems with women, let’s talk about Isaac’s (ex)girlfriend. The book treats their breakup as this massive betrayal, then even goes on to justify vandalizing her property because of it.

I’m sorry, but no.

You, as an autonomous human being, have the right to end a relationship with someone else whenever, wherever, and for whatever reasons you designate, regardless of previously expressed emotions or promises. How and when she did it was not the most ideal, but she’s an emotionally immature teenager, and there’s never going to be a good time to do something like this. What was she supposed to do, keep pity dating him because she felt sorry for him? Wait until someone invented technology to cure blindness? Assuming she did actually break up with him because of his disability… Are her reasons shitty? Sure. But she’s allowed to have them.

And you know what? He’s allowed to be mad about it. His anger might be completely understandable, if not totally justified. But you know what else? That does not give him the right to take revenge on her by vandalizing her property.

I would have no problem with this scene if it were honest about what it was: a bunch of teenagers with under-developed frontal lobes that are angry and feeling vindictive. But it’s not that. It’s depicted as not only completely justified, but heroic. I’m sorry, no. You are never heroic for harassing another human being.

And Augustus’s dumb little speech to her mom is such garbage. You really expect me to believe that a grown woman was so pwned by some jerk teenager’s super witty justification for destroying her property that she just went inside and, idk, watched TV? Didn’t call the police to report the crime that he and his friends were actively committing against her? Bullshit.

Speaking of bullshit, that scene is pretty egregious, but that doesn’t even begin to cover my issues with this book’s pretentious dialogue. If you told me that they ran every word in this book through Thesaurus.com then I would believe you without hesitation. The one hook, the draw, the thing that kept me reading was supposed to be the relatable characters, but they just aren’t relatable. They’re not realistic in the slightest. Seriously, go read any line of this book out loud and tell me how ridiculous you feel. I kept expecting Augustus to pull off his skinsuit and reveal that he was secretly a robot trying to imitate human speech the entire time.

I’m not sure how far I can go into this point without giving you direct quotes, but half the stuff that comes out of these characters mouths is pseudo-intellectual nonsense. “Put the killing thing between your teeth so it can’t kill you”?

It’s not a metaphor.

Putting an unlit cigarette in your mouth is still stupid. I guess it won’t give you lung cancer, but really? It’s still not a great idea.

Augustus has to go buy these cigarettes, which means he’s actively going out and giving money to an industry that has been funding pseudoscience and suppressing health initiatives that would prevent people from suffering what he did (i.e. fucking cancer).

Here’s a clue: Tobacco companies don’t actually care about what you do with the cigarettes. Their transaction stops as soon as you put the money in their hands. I could purchase a hundred packs and throw them in the garbage, and the only thing they know is that they got about $600 from me. Way to “stick it to the man”, asshole. You’re not clever.

With the exception of the Isaac’s-girlfriend thing, all of that is in chapters 1-4, by the way. This book turned me off so thoroughly that early.

So by the time the Amsterdam trip rolled around I was already not enjoying this book, but then this thing happened and it was just the final nail in the coffin for me. You probably know what I’m talking about already, but if you don’t… The Anne Frank Museum kiss.

I honestly cannot even articulate how incredibly tasteless and disrespectful I find the entire thing, and not only does that happen, but it’s followed by an r/ThatHappened “and then everybody stood up and clapped!” Seriously?

There are smarter, more well-versed people than me that have covered this topic, so I’ll leave the analysis for why that’s all kinds of wrong to them.

Those are really my big gripes, though there’s a few smaller ones (like Augustus throwing a pre-funeral like are you a psychopath? Why would you put the people you love through that???) that I’m not going to touch on because they weren’t all that instrumental in putting me off. Instead I’ll move on to the external factors.

The Fanbase

So I finished the book, a little miffed at having just wasted my time, and immediately told my friend that I didn’t like it much, and that I would be returning her copy the next day. Feeling pretty meh-to-slightly-negative about it, but whatever, it happens.

I was essentially met with “wow I can’t believe you didn’t get it.” and “Oh well maybe you’ll finally understand how deep it is when you’re older” from my friend. Which is really just one step away from the wow can’t you read?! BS that I’ve been seeing more and more frequently these days. So immediately I was pissed. All that aside, I was sixteen, the target age demographic? If I didn’t ‘get it’ then John Green was doing a pretty piss poor job of conveying what it is.

So I went online seeking something. Either validation that I wasn’t wrong and that I didn’t miss the point, the book just wasn’t great, or an explanation of what this it was that I’d missed. And let me tell you... Spotting a negative opinion of this book was like looking for a unicorn. There were a few, and many of them were met with the same kind of thing I had experienced. Vitriol, insistence that they were stupid or that they didn’t get it (again, with no explanation of what it was), and, apparently, a lot of harassment and threats.

I discovered that John Green’s target audience had a tendency to be… A bit obsessive. Lots of young, impressionable teenagers that were willing to jump on an opposing opinion with zealous outrage. If I had any interest in pursuing any of John Green’s other works or John Green as an internet personality any further, then it died in that moment. Absolutely nothing turns me off like a rabid, spiteful fanbase.

Now by this point I was already in the rabbit hole, and I began encountering a lot of criticisms of John Green and the things he’s said and done in the past. I did not like what I found.

John Green Himself

To be extremely blunt, the guy put such a bad taste in my mouth that it retroactively soured my opinion of The Fault in Our Stars even more. Since this is a post about my opinions on the book, I’m only going to be discussing things that affected my view at the time I read it. These are all things that happened six years ago, and I have no idea what this man has been up to or what he’s said about any of these topics since.

Let’s just get this out of the way… John Green writes the same book over and over. There’s always a quirky, nerdy white boy that is invariably cisgendered, and almost always straight. He is always an outcast with only a few friends, though apparently never directly bullied. He always meets an edgy girl that he falls in love with the idea of. Usually there is a road trip somewhere in there too.

The Fault in our Stars admittedly doesn’t follow the exact same framework, but it’s close enough in a lot of ways. Instead of the Quirky, Too-Smart-For-His-Own-Good cisboi being the PoV character, it’s the love interest (Hazel also fits this description, albeit a female version). Hazel and Augustus are both still outcasts. Hazel is attracted to Augustus because he’s Deep and Edgy and A Little Larger Than Life. The road trip is a flight to Amsterdam.

Looking at the man... Yeah the entire premise starts to come off as some weird self-insert fanfiction. I can feel the “I was a quirky, bullied teen and I wish this is how my high school life had been!” energy coming through absolutely every pore and every molecule of ink. Every character reads like John Green. John Green has written book after book and the main character always appears to be John Green in a slightly different teenage skinsuit.

And that’s fine, I guess. A little lazy, but I guess it’s working for him since he’s making hella bank? It’s certainly not enough to put me off the guy, just not something I’m interested in reading, and not something I find compelling.

What put me off for good were some of his comments. Dude skeeves me the fuck out. I’ll just go over some of the highlights I found at the time, and why they upset me so much when I heard them.

“Nerd girls are the world's most underutilized romantic resource.”

As a nerdy girl that has been stalked and harassed by men because I’m “good girlfriend material” (aka I like video games and traditionally masculine stuff and I’m pretty! I must be a unicorn!), this statement is disgusting.

I don’t care if it was a joke. I don’t care if he wasn’t being serious. This is the kind of shit that men think is a compliment because they think it makes “quirky” girls feel “unique” and “special”, but that “complement” is also an insult. You know why? Because it makes female interests all about how men perceive their sexual or romantic viability.

John Green’s penchant for writing “special” and “unique” girls (while simultaneously shaming “typical” girls, but I’ll get to that in the next point) and depicting them as the ideal woman just reaffirms my feelings about this quote. I think, on some level, John Green has no idea why this is such a bad take. And that’s not even getting into the fact that he called human beings resources. Women are not objects that exist to be a plot device or for your gratification. Fuck right off with that shit.

“She was incredibly hot, in that popular-girl-with-bleached-teeth-and-anorexia kind of way, which was Colin’s least favourite way of being hot”

This is just one quote of many that shames people with eating disorders and weight problems (on both ends of the spectrum, “too fat” and “too skinny”. Another fun one being: “there’s the weird culturally-constructed definition of hot, which means ‘that individual is malnourished, and has probably had plastic bags inserted into her breasts.’")

Know what this line is? It’s called “negging”, and it’s a popular tactic of incels because it works. You make someone seek your approval by intentionally giving them backhanded compliments to undermine their self esteem. The idea is that the more you insult them, the harder they’ll work to try and impress you. It doesn’t work on everyone, but you know who it does tend to work on? Insecure younger people (usually girls). You know who John Green’s target audience is? Insecure teenage girls.

As for the actual substance of the quote… I hate it. He’s shaming a woman for the choices she makes over her appearance. Which are, fun fact, none of his damn business. Also the idea that “skinny” and “anorexic” somehow need to go hand in hand is just wrong, insulting women for a mental health disorder they have no control over is offensive, and using a serious mental health disorder (did you know that anorexia is the most deadly mental health condition?) as an insult is disgusting.

Coming back to my earlier point about shaming “normal” girls, this quote is just the tip of the iceberg. He repeatedly shames women in his books for looking or behaving “typically”, while quirky girls are lauded as the ideal. Quirky girls are “weird and interesting” and normal girls are “boring”. If this was intended as a compliment, it’s a shitty one. If you have to shame one group to make another feel better, it is not a compliment. You are lowering all women when you pull that shit. You teach them that in order to feel good about themselves another group has to be made to feel worse.

And hey, maybe the pretty girl likes her teeth bleached because it makes her feel confident? Why can’t bleached teeth girl and anime t-shirt girl both be beautiful and unique and confident in their own right? Why is it “powerful” for anime t-shirt girl to wear her nerdy clothes, but scorn-worthy for bleached teeth girl to like bleaching her teeth?

What John Green is doing is simply replacing one ideal (skinny pretty girl) with another (quirky cute girl), and then he pretends like his version is somehow “woke” because it’s not based on physical appearance (though all of the women in his books are also physically attractive. Hmmm. Guess “nerd girls” are only “viable resources” when they aren’t hard to look at?).

And trust me, I’ve been down this path. I’ve been taken in by guys who try to make me feel ~special~ by putting down other women, and it leads to absolutely nothing good. It doesn’t make you feel better. It just makes you feel angry and resentful, and that’s not a place you want to be in. In fact, this was a mentality I had recently escaped from around the time I picked up this book. Seeing someone with as much influence as John Green parroting this specific brand of toxic shit to exactly the audience that would be most likely to feed into it? I was never going to be able to like the guy, sorry.

I know some people are able to “separate the art from the artist”, and I might have been willing to do that had the book actually been good… but it wasn’t. So in the end the book just looked worse for all of the author’s shortcomings.

So yeah, in summary: The book was mediocre at best, the author pushed all of my angry feminist buttons, and elements of the fanbase were annoying, condescending, and spiteful. I didn’t like the book in the first place due to the myriad of problems plaguing it, but everything else just made it look so much worse in hindsight.

Anyways, this probably got kind of ranty, but it was cathartic and I did make this blog to vent about dumb stuff. I think this qualifies.

#Personal stuff #TFioS Opinion Piece #Sorry it took so long #I had a lot to say #A little ranty

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wheremytwinwatches · 4 years

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[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 8

Happy birthday, Tephi! Sorry I was gone for a bit guys, work was kicking my butt for a while there. But we’re out of holiday season, and it looks like we may actually get another full-timer on my team! Anyways, where did we leave off again? Ah. Right. The whole “Stones are Soul Gems” thing. Guh. And Ed’s off exploring an “abandoned” lab, while some psycho with a knife is attacking Al.

Episode 08: “The Fifth Laboratory” Al looks up as the rooftop psycho (captioned as [66]) completely ruins the element of surprise with a battlecry. Well, given his heavy armor and the fanged skull-helmet, guessing that subtlety isn’t one of Mr. 66’s strong suits. Al jumps back and avoids the wild swings of 66’s machetes, to which the pfffahahaha ok hold up. I’m sorry, but he’s just so… pudgy! This 66 dude is a marshmallow, perfect example of acrofatic with the rooftop leap. Anyways, Pudgy compliments Al’s speed for someone of his size. Then follows the compliment by saying a lesser fighter wouldn’t be worth the effort to cut down. Right, masked psycho. Can’t let his adorable fluffiness distract me. 66 explains that he got the name from “them” when he came to work at the lab, and that he’s going to cut Al up nice and neat. So just sit back and scream, m’kay? Yeah, good luck with that, buddy. Inside Ed’s looking at a large Transmutation Circle in an open room, with a small pillar in the center. Said TC looks rather simple compared to the ones we’ve seen so far, is that really all that’s needed to make a Stone? Well, the TC and the noticeable red stains spaced around the five points. Ed makes the same assumption I did, and another voice confirms his suspicion. Said voice is a rather refined-sounding 48, another armored dude with glowing red eyes (like the Goths?) who says he’s in charge of guarding the lab from curious brats. Bit more back-and-forth between the two before Ed makes an arm blade, 48 (nickname Pompous) notes that he’s an Alchemist and WHOA he’s right in front of Ed already. Threat estimation just went way up. Yikes, and he’s already deduced that Ed has an automail arm. Pompous is proving to be pretty good. But Ed gets a stab in and- *clank*? Oh. OH. Wait a minute. He’s hollow? Like Al? But that implies… Ok, video’s paused for a moment. Getting some seriously bad implications here. We know souls can be bound to armor, our boy Al’s liv- well, existing proof of that. And if a non-certified child performing amateur Alchemy can do that, who’s to say a bunch of immoral scientists can’t? Take a lab designed to turn death into a power source, and siphon off a couple of the condemned to make immortal, nigh-impervious to harm guards for your sick manufacturing process. And why stop at just a few guards? Build up a friggin army of the things! Who’s gonna stop you? The genocidal government? You’re either working for them or you are them! Oh Leto, this is gonna end up with our boys having to face down armies of pseudo-Als, isn’t it? Cripes. Back to the fight, really really hoping that my theory is wrong. Buuuut nope, Ed confirms that’s the sound he hears when sparring with Al. Pompous reintroduces himself as the guy numbered 48 on death row, more commonly known as Slicer. Mass murderer, y’know. Pompous doesn’t confirm that the place was used to make Philosopher’s Stones, it not being “his area”, but he does reveal his Seal in his helmet, helpfully notes that if Ed destroys it, then the fight is Ed’s. Awfully considerate, although he says that he likes a challenge now and then. And he won’t just let Ed walk away, it’d totally ruin his mass-murderer rep. On to the fight! ...Hughes, you’d better have a good reason to interrupt the fight between our Protagonist and the Soul-Bound Mass Murderer. Yes, it’s adorable how happy you are that your daughter’s about to turn 3, but there are things going on! Roy agrees with me. Stop using a military line on military time to gush over your family! Hughes finally returns to more pressing matters, namely a certain scar-faced Ishvalan. They found bodies at the destroyed bridge, but they’re all so decomposed that they can’t be identified. Hold up, regardless of the fact that he’s clearly alive still, what do you mean by bodies? As in multiple? I count nine sheets there, where did they all come from? And why decomposed? The fight wasn’t that long ago. Although there’s no concrete evidence he’s dead, lack of sightings means Command thinks that he’s dead. So it should be ok to remove the Elric Brother’s guards soon. Said unfortunate guards have just found the empty room where their charges are supposed to be. [Brosh]: “Ah! Major Armstrong’s gonna take his shirt off again and yell at us some more, isn’t he?!” While Brosh sobs, Ross takes charge and orders him to follow to the only place they could have gone. To the Fifth Laboratory! Lots of yelling and grunting as Pompous and Ed swing at each other. But there’s a shift in gears? Ooooh crud. Ed’s arm is breaking, the increase in chrome and resulting weakness means it’s not holding up as well. Sure, it won’t rust as easily, but he’ll be too dead to enjoy that. Fight’s taken a shift in Pompous’ favor, where before they were equally matched now the Soul-Armor’s just standing, blocking while barely moving and then kicking Ed away. Pompous is all sad that Ed won’t last much longer, tired and wounded as he is. Not to mention that his partner’s likely finished with Ed’s companion outside. After all, 66 is quite strong. But not as strong as Pompous, of course. Ed finds this quite funny. See, he and Al have been sparring partners for quite some time. And to this day, he’s never beaten his little brother. Cut to outside, where Pudgy is getting his skullface handed to him. Or rather, knocked clean off. No sign of his Seal, though. Pudgy offers to share his story with Al, all starting with a man named Barry. Barry appears to be a butcher, given the artwork of a guy with a cleaver surrounded by meat. Barry the Butcher did so love cutting up meat into tiny little pieces. Until one day that wasn’t enough anymore, and he took his cleaver to the streets. 23 victims later, Barry was sent to the gallows. But then some dumbass decided that such a man would do just fine as an unpaid nightguard. Anyways, that was the story of the infamous serial killer Barry the Chopper! [Al]: “Sorry, I’ve never heard of you.” Barry/Pudgy does not take Al’s lack of local history well. Nor his lack of surprise to the whole “bodiless armor” thing. And then he’s surprised when Al calmly pops his own helmet off. Really, dude? The glowing red eyes didn’t clue you in? Heh. Oh man, poor Pudgy. You have no idea who you’re messing with. Wait. Why are you laughing? Oh. You DICK. [66]: “Are you sure that you’re not a puppet created and controlled by your so-called brother? Were you ever a real person to begin with?” Nope. Nope nope nope. Shut up. You do not get to ask those questions. You do not get to imply that Al wasn’t a real boy. That his memories were created to make him easier to control. That dear sweet Granny and Winry are just playing along to manipulate a “living” weapon. I was looking forward to seeing our boys take you down, murderer. Now I’m looking forward to them doing it slowly. Leto. First Soul Gems, now the whole issue of sapience and continuation of consciousness? This show’s not pulling any punches, is it? Um, cop? You may wanna well ok he’s dead. “I kill, therefore I am. As long as I know that, it’s all I need to prove to myself that I’ve always been me.” Back inside, Pompous is saying that he’ll finish off Ed quickly to go and fight the better fighter. Alright Ed, what’s your plan? Good plan! And shame on you, Pompous. You talked a big talk, but you really fell for the old “look behind you” trick. [48]: “That was dirty!” [Ed]: “There’s no such thing as ‘dirty’ in a fight. Before he destroys the seal, Ed stops to pick up Pompous’ helmet and demands what he knows about the Philosopher’s Stone. And just leaves the main body of Pompous behind him. Really, Ed? You’ve lived with Al for how many years? Seen his head get knocked off yet he still moves just fine how many times? Shame on you. Wait, what? “Impossible?” Why? You clearly saw the seal on the neck, right? Ooooh. “Slicer” was a pair of brothers? Independent head and body? So Ed was shown a seal inside the helmet, not the one lower down on the armor proper. And now he’s really injured, Armor-Slicer’s not giving him time to transmute (point for having the seal already on some gear, rather than using your hands each time). Ouch, jab to the cut and Ed’s down. Memory of Scar? OOOOOOOHHHHHH! Ed figured out Scar’s Hand o’ Doom! Armor-Slicer done got blown in half! And then freaks Ed out by wriggling. Ha! Pompous takes the defeat in fairly-good grace, calls for Ed to deal the finishing blow. But Ed’s not going to commit murder. [48]: “With bodies like these are we really even people?” [Ed]: “I consider you people whether you have physical bodies or not… If I didn’t, that would mean I didn’t believe my own brother is a person either.” Outside Pudgy continues to prey on Al’s doubts, goes so far as to dare him to break his own Blood Seal. Obviously Al won’t do such a stupid thing, but it’s because we know that he’s alive, not because he’s “programmed” to protect it. Guh, the sooner Pudgy bites it the better. Ed continues to insist that he won’t kill another person. Which amuses Pompous? Wow. Pompous remarks that it’s ironic, saying it wasn’t until they were Soul Bound that he and his brother were treated like humans. For that kindness, he’ll tell Ed everything. Awesome, we’re getting- aw crap. I know that dress. Ladies and gentlemen. Lust is on the scene. And she does not like helmets with loose lids. And Envy, as well. This is bad, isn’t it? Al, you may wanna get in and rescue your brother sooner rather than later. Jeez, hope Soul-Bound Armors don’t feel pain. Or at least it was quick for Pompous, getting split in two like that. WELL OK THEN. Guess that answers the question “Do Soul Armors feel pain?”. Envy’s taken up the sword and is repeatedly stabbing the Armor-Slicer’s seal, ranting about how their attacking the important sacrifice could have messed up the entire plan. Finally, the armor stops moving. Ed slowly slides up the wall to get to his feet, facing down Lust and Envy and demanding to know who they are. Uh, Ed? I know that you don’t know these people, that you aren’t aware that they seem to have hurt Scar enough - you know, that guy who utterly wrecked you and Al? - to send him into hiding. And that you’re pissed off enough to ignore your own physical state. But maybe you think you could tone it down a notch? Not try to kick Envy and prepare to fight? Whelp. Ed’s arm just went kaput. Winry, as much as I respect you as a mechanic, gonna have to question the choice to go so heavy with chrome. Rust isn’t as bad as these “technical difficutlies.” And yup Envy-knee to the stomach, Ed’s down for the count. [Lust]: “Listen to me well, boy. Don’t ever forget this. Always remember that we allowed you to live.” And of course, since Ed was poking around the place, it’ll have to go. Lust orders Envy to blow it up. Hey, uh, Al? How you holding up? Aw, no. Al, please. Please don’t let Pudgy’s mindgames get to you. Don’t start thinking that what Ed was going to tell you last episode was that... Hooray, Ross and Brosh are here! Woefully ignorant of how useless bullets are against Pudgy, but still. Uh oh, building’s cracking. And Pudgy recognizes what that means, makes a speedy exit. Al cries out that Ed’s still inside. Well, it’s not like the Goths are going to let their “important sacrifice” die as they dispose of the evidence, right? Called it! Envy walks out of the dust with Ed slung over his shoulder, drops him off with Al and Ross while cheerfully saying they should take him to a hospital and keep a better eye on him. “He’s a precious resource.” And like that, he’s gone. As the lab crumbles, the prison next door is home to a bunch of yelling prisoners. And further inside, someone named Kimblee remarks that it’s lovely to hear a building exploding. Hey, it’s Smiley, from the flashback to the Ishvalan War. You know, the guy who was grinning during the genocide? Seems he’s in prison now. This is the guy that Mr. Freeze was trying to recruit in the first episode too, wasn’t it? And even as the lab crumbles, even as our characters rush to get Ed to a hospital… Al thinks about what Pudgy said. ...wait, that’s it? That’s the episode? Come on! How rude is it to leave poor Al doubting his own personhood?! Post-credits: Hughes is talking on a phone, remarking that things at Central are pretty hectic. All the senior Alchemists killed by Scar? Rumor is a certain Roy Mustang may get promoted to fill in the spaces. But getting advanced so young Roy’s bound to make enemies. He needs as many people on his side as possible. Like a wife! ...yeah, I’m with you, [Receptionist]. Hughes, please stop with the personal phone calls. [Narrator]: “Edward Elric cannot find the right words to say what he must. Meanwhile, young Alphonse is frightened by his brother’s continued silence. Where does the truth lie? This truth is waiting, hidden in the memories of a young girl. Next time, on Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood-” Episode 09 - “Created Feelings” “The heart begins to waver because if fears what the truth may bring.” Hey, looks like we get to see Winry again! Almost makes up for Alphonse having to doubt his very existence! Man, I can’t wait to see Pudgy bite it!

#wmtw #where my twin watches #ranubis #full metal alchemist #full metal alchemist brotherhood #fmab #fmab 8

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simpinforyoongi · 4 years

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Good Bad Day ~

Collegestudent! Namjoon x Collegestudent!reader ~

(i know the pic doesn't suit this oneshot but i just can't omksks)

Pairing: Collegestudent!Namjoon x collegestudent!reader

Genre: Angst, attempted humour,

Warnings: swearing

Summary: When your bully-not-bully Namjoon takes it a bit too far on a day that already had been bad, you snap. But maybe this bad day wouldn't turn out to be so bad after all.

Sucked.

If you had to describe today in one word, it would, without doubt, be this. Today had simply sucked.

It sucked harder than that one exam you had to give about which you liTerAlLY came to know on the exam day itself. It sucked harder than that time when you missed your FRIgGIN school trip which you had been waiting for for MONTHS! And it sucked harder than the day you met Kim Namjoon. Yea. And oh boy is that a big statement.

Now,

Allow me to explain part 1:

[Dum dum dum flashback time brought to you byyyyyy 🍑 & 🍦, sweeter than sweet]

In simple words, Kim Namjoon was your bully. But also not exactly??? a bully?? because he didn't really "bully" you. Because if you actually take a minute to think about it, he never physically hurt you. Not gravely at least. But he also was your bully in the sense that he made every-freakin-day a struggle (more so than it already was). His usual acts where making snide remarks when you passed by and sometimes if he was feeling extra cheery, an intentional bump here and there, most of which you dodged skillfully. But that's about it. You didn't really bother replying because who's got that kind of time OR energy?? Not your lazy freaking ass for sure. You simply ignored him all day long, everyday.

How did he become your "bully" , you ask?? Well i suggest you read away!

Now let's get onto the second part,

Allow me to explain part 2:

[Dum dum dum flashback time brought to you byyyyy 🍫 cheeks & 🍫 🦋]

Today's morning was one of the prettiest of the week. Subtle sunlight seeped through your cremé curtains and fell on your face, giving you a sunkissed look and bringing out the color of your irises. You had woken up with a dreamy smile on your lips, obviously from the delicious dream that you had had, about how you were gonna spend your up and coming vacation, traveling and touring the world, seeking out all the gems that these places had to hide. Well, maybe not all the touring and stuff but books and the bed all day are just as thrilling, aren't they? AnYWaYS, so you had pulled your torso up and stretched out your limbs to free them off the stiffness that occurs from staying in bed just a tad too long, and glanced at the alarm clock.

That's where it started to go wrong.

You jUMped out of bed almost tripping yourself on the sheets (almost because you were always good at not falling. The Tripping God's have always been on your side) when you realised that in half an hour, your classes would start.

Then, you had two options:

1)To shower and be late but at least be fully awake. (not smelling like chicken wings and cheese was just a bonus) and

2) To not shower but be on time, but alSo be drowsy and risk running into a tree and going into a lifelong coma (that actually doesn't sound that bad).

You opted for the later because the almighty Gods have gifted you with some almiGhTy weapons for the existence and survival of human kind,

Coffee and Deodorant😎

Hah! Take that life! you had thought.

But life wasn't in the mood to humor you or your fantabulous sense of humour today.

Not showering always had its quirks you know. One of them being you had to brush out your bedhead without the help of any almighty weapons from the almighty Gods. So after actually managing to get ready without killing yourself after what seemed like an eternity of hair-brushing, you finally were ready to go.

But of course, it couldn't be so easy, could it?

One quick glance at your phone told you you had about 11 minutes to get to your class. 11 minutes to cover a path that took at least 18 minutes to cover when you were walking at your usual pace, earphones tucked in cozily.

10 minutes.

You hurriedly put your phone in your bag, put on your sneakers with shaky hands and broke into a run after locking the door.

You had been running for around 10 minutes and you had actually managed to almost reach your college gates. You could see the gates from where you stood, huffing and puffing while your lungs and ribs burned in hellfire. I'd suggest working out a little you know, if you have time.

So there it was, looking like the gates to heaven and calling your name. You again started walking and eventually running, without taking any notice of your shoe laces that had come undone and — thump

Remember how I told you that Tripping God's had always been on your side?? Yea well I think I spoke a little too soon.

You lied on the hard concrete , left cheek in contact with the floor,hands and legs were spread in a random manner.

You lifted yourself up with a frown, with the help of the base of your palms but immediately retracted your hands when your felt a sudden burning sensation.

Great. Simply great.

Both your hands had bruises on them, the left side of your jaw hurt, and there was a minute throbbing in your left side that was surely not from all the running.

But you didn't have time, so you got up, tied the laces and kept running.

But of course, it wasn't enough.

You reached your class ten minutes late. The lecture had already started and the professor was showing a PowerPoint presentation. You timidly knocked, attracting everyone's attention. Again, something that you gravely hated.

Luckily, you had somewhat of a reputation with the teachers. Being somewhat of a good girl had it perks you know. So you got off without any scolding from the professor, after she had asked you why you were late and you supplied the only thing that came to mind.

Woke up late, ma'am.

You took a seat and attempted noting down, but the bruises that you got on your hand were doing their job.

After somehow making it through the first lecture, you had a small gap before your second lecture. So you decided to get a coffee from the café on campus.

After getting said coffee, you were walking down one of the halls to your next class.

All your attention was on your coffee, your warm, coffee colored coffee that was waiting to be finished, which was why you didn't notice when a human pillar bumped into you, spilling all your coffee on yourself in the process.

You jumped when the warmth seeped through the fabric of your (luckily) black T-shirt, and looked up to see who was blind enough to bump into you when there was pLENTY of space to walk.

Uh-huh.

Wrong move.

There stood the devil himself, smirking down at your soaked self.

"I knew you were dumb. Didn't know you were blind too. Klutz" and with a smirk he just left you there without giving you the time to as much as glare at him for completely ruining your T-shirt AND spilling your coffee.

Your stood there in your coffee soaked clothes and teary eyes. But you blinked them away. You won't cry. It's just a bad day. It's just a bad day.

The atrocities didn't stop there. Throughout the day, many joyous things happened.

While going to your third lecture, you missed a step and landed right on your knees, on the sharp edge of another step. And that freaking hurt, believe me.

Then, you managed to trip again, on a freaking pebble, and landed on your palms again, on the freaking gravel. Needless to say, your bruises were increasing with every step you took. The Tripping God's really weren't in a good mood today.

Because of that, you were also late to your fourth lecture, one of the classes that you actually really loved.

One of the classes that had Kim Namjoon in them.

You couldn't concentrate on what the professor was saying because of the constant bickering of Namjoon who sat on the next row. Not being able to tolerate his shit today, you decided to just lay your head down and hopefully get some shut-eye. The professor surely won't notice you in a room full of people, right?

Wrong.

Absofuckinlutely wrong.

You woke up not five minutes later to the tapping of a pen against your desk.

You jumped when you saw the oh so familiar face of your English Lit professor peering down at you.

"Something wrong? Ms. Y/l/n?" He said, pretty seriously, contradicting the usual light hearted mood that the 50 year old was in. Maybe he had a bad day too.

"No sir. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"Glad to know." and with that, he walked away. As he did, you noticed a snickering Namjoon, and the possibility of him telling the professor about you occurred to you. But you really just didn't have the energy to speak up about it.

Your fifth and last lecture for the day had finally ended, resulting in you being in a slightly better mood than before.

You were packing your things up. The day had sucked. Everything that happened today was bad. And the fact that you would be getting your results the following week was making you even more stressed. You didn't do your best on the last set of exams, and you were low-key freaking out, but still out of energy to react too much.

With the throbbing ever present in your left side, and the bruises still on your knees and palms still burning, you made your way to the exit of the room.

But life really just couldn't stop itself from kicking you in the guts one last time.

"Hey there, klutz." Standing near the door was your arch nemesis, to put it dramatically, Kim Namjoon, with his group of six friends. Now the weird thing about them was, that they seemed to be cool people. And your first impression of Kim Namjoon was that he was a good, studious and kind boy. You even admired him for his hard work and philosophical essays that your English professor always read out to the class when he scored full marks. But what you didn't expect him to be was a bitchy, annoying and stuck up piece of shit who bullied others(or tried to) without any reason.

"Not today, Kim." You were in no mood today, the day had already been bad enough and you didn't need another one of his snide remarks today.

"Why y/n?? Too tired from sleeping in class??" He commented, as your tried to walk past him, but he followed.

"Hey! Don't ignore me, I'm hurt!!" He said in a mocking tone.

You kept walking, not paying mind to his ramblings, but it was getting harder by the minute.

"I really wonder why our English prof let you off without any punishment when you were sleeping you know. He doesn't usually go that easy on sleeping students. Makes me wonder what you were doing last night."

You stopped dead in your tracks and slowly turned around with a menacing glare. There were still students around and they had heard him, and they stopped all their antics to watch the scene unfold.

Your mind was already heavy from an the shit that happened today, and you were already on the verge of breaking down because of all the pressure that you were under, and this last comment really just hit. You eyes started becoming blurry from the accusation that was just thrown at you, and all these things led to where you are now,in front of Kim Namjoon with blurry eyes, unable to comprehend everything that was happening.

Before you could actually change your mind and walk away, you took a step ahead and spoke with more remorse than anything else.

"WHAT did you just say??" Your voice was laced with venom and this caused him to take a step back. Everyone was watching, but you couldn't care less. This has to stop.

"What did you just say??" You repeated your question. "WHAT did I ever do to you Kim Namjoon?? WHY do you hate me so much?? WHY are you so dead set on making my already difficult life even more difficult?? WHY do you do this?? I already have dealt with enough shit from you! What the fu-k do you think you're doing? Who the fu-k do you think you are and why the fu-k are you always bothering me??" Your eyes were still blurry, but as a single tear flowed down your cheek, the venom in your voice dissipated and all that was left was hurt.

"What did I ever do to you?? Why do you hate me?? Just because I got one fucking mark more than you in one fucking subject?? Because Mr.Song decided that it wouldn't hurt to appreciate my English essays?? Because your ego was hurt that someone other than you was also appreciated by a teacher?? WHAT WAS my fault?? You have made my life goddamned hard and I didn't even do anything to you!" By now both your cheeks were wet from tears streaking down your face and your eyes were red and puffy,the same eyes that shone brightly whenever your answers were correct, or whenever someone says something funny(not that Namjoon noticed or anything). As you kept taking, his eyes travelled to your left cheek, then jaw and he noticed the bruises that were on display. He also remembered how you were not writing anything in class today. Everyone, including Namjoon was utterly dumbfounded by your sudden outburst.

Is she hurt?

"..didn't even get enough time to get my shit together before your started ruining everything for me! I genuinely thought that you were a good, hard working student and i admired you for that!! But THANK YOU for shattering this illusion! THANK YOU for letting be know what a shitty stuck up brat you are! I told you to leave me alone but NO! First you spilled my coffee on me, and now you're accusing me of filthy actions. Do I look like A JOKE TO YOU?? Do I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE YOU CAN JUST PUSH OVER? I try my best to shrug off everything you say but everyone has a limit Namjoon. I know I'm not smart like you, I'm don't ace every test, I'm not the teachers favorite student, I can't do everything right, I always try my best but sometimes it's not enough, and I don't always look my best, i KNOW i look like shit sometimes and I fucking. Know. that I'm not perfect but you don't have to remind me everytime! " Your lips quivered as you spoke your heart. You took a deep breath, your eyes seemed to be overflowing today and you couldn't stop your feelings from flowing out too, while he stood there, eyes wide.

"I hate you Kim Namjoon. I fucking hate you! And I don't want to see your disgusting face ever again!" You hissed, and then speed walked away, leaving a very shocked group of people and a very regretful Namjoon.

The following week, you were happy to almost get rid of his presence. Almost

Because the lingering stares that he threw your way were not going unnoticed.

You thought the students were going to start acting weird after your little outburst the other day but luckily, everyone seemed to have forgotten about it. Or they just didn't care enough which is absolutely fine!!

But the constant feeling of being stared at was there.

Throughout the week, you had completely avoided Namjoon. Like sitting as far as possible in the classes you shared, leaving as soon as you caught his sight, and once even crossing the road to get away from him. And somehow you had made it to the end of the week. It was Friday again. And once you got through with the day, you wouldn't have to see his face for another 2 months.

You couldn't wait.

But again, like Deja Vu, as you collected all your belongings and walked towards the exit of the room, you saw him and his gang standing looking right at you.

He had tried to approach you earlier today. About 3 times actually, but you had deftly avoided any type of conversation. You just didn't want anything to do with him.

You searched for ways to escape but the only exit was the door where they were standing.

You took a deep breath and kept walking.

"Y/n please just talk to me once. I'm really sorry about everything please just give me a chance y/n I'll just take five minutes of your time, please. I request you."

You kept walking, even more swiftly than you were before.

"Please just give me a chance, y/n please." He followed you and just as you were about to exit, one of his friends blocked the door, and your only way of escaping. You had seen him around. Not just because he hung around Namjoon, but because he was a junior and quite famous too. You could see why girls swooned over his group of friends. Each and every guy, including the bunny looking boy blocking the door, was gorgeous af.

"Please y/n noona, just let him speak to you. He hasn't been eating or sleeping well these days." The bunny boy exclaimed, and for a moment your heart softened for like a teeny weeny second, but you didn't acknowledge his request.

"Please move." You said in a stern voice. But he didn't of course.

"Look, we know what happened last time he talked to you. But he really had been moping around all fu-king week over this and honestly it's starting to become bothersome. Of what I've seen and heard of you, you seem to be a logical person. Don't you think it'd be easier and faster if you just heard whatever he has to say and then went about your way?" The one who had a constant poker face, not to sure but you had heard people call him Yoongi, said. You contemplated for a moment, and deciding that it's better to get this over with, you turned around to face Namjoon. After all, you were a pretty logical person (😎)

"What?"

As you asked the question, Namjoon was ready to spill everything, every thought he had over the past week, every feeling, every apology. But for some reason, nothing came out of his mouth. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, unable to form sentences.

You tried raising an eyebrow, but couldn't since you couldn't master the art of raising single eyebrows, then looked back at his friends who seemed just as confused as you.

"Are your going to say anything or should I just leave?"

At that he started talking.

"I'm really sorry for everything that i did.." his eyes were cast downwards, "I've been a jerk and I honestly don't know why I did that..i had no reason to and I'm really sorry from the depths of my heart I...I just.." he couldn't comprehend what to say to explain how bad he felt.

"Ok. Fine. Its fine. Apology accepted." And with that, you moved across bunny boy and walked away. This time, nobody stopped you but Namjoon wasn't satisfied as he stared at your retreating form.

"But why would she forgive me that easily?? Urghhh" Namjoon was about to pull all his hair out in frustration. You were weird, he knew, but like...what the chocolate brownie fudge?? Nobody just walks off like that after being bothered for so long.

"Yah why are you beating yourself up over this?? Maybe she didn't want to waste any more time over you. Stop overthinking it." Jin exclaimed, already fed up of Namjoons continuous stomping.

"But hyung why wo-"

"Or maybe she likes you. Maybe that's why she forgave you so easily. Maybe she had been crushing on you and that's why she was hurt. mAYBE she's in love with you.Is that what you want to hear, Namjoon??" Yoongi said nonchalantly and Namjoon's face flared up as everyone looked at him.

"W-WHAT ARE YOU SAYING HYUNG.. s-she doesn't like me and i don't like her... Its just.."

"YAH JUST OFFER HER A COFFEE YOU IDIOT" Jin yelled, rather exasperatedly, because man was Namjoon being a pill right then!

He pondered over the suggestion for a moment. He did spill your coffee on you. And you seem to like coffee quite a bit. Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea for an apology. Well, second apology.

So there he was, standing in front of the bookstore that you worked at, still debating whether he should just go in or go home. His friends were standing a bit behind him, still more than annoyed that he dragged all of them over here. As he was wrecking his mind on the pros and cons, the doors opened and you came out with your earphones in your ears and a small smile on your lips.

As soon as you locked eyes, your smile disappeared. But you didn't say anything. Rather, you walked right by him. This was like the last time all over.

"Y/n w-wait.. could we talk for a minute??" You weren't planning on stopping but his voice sounded so small and fragile that you couldn't force your feet to move. His face seemed thinner and drained of energy.

It surely wouldn't hurt to hear him out last time. Yes. Last time

You stopped and he continued.

"I-I um... Do you.. do you want to out for coffee with me?? I i.. I mean like..umm..as an apology.. Can i offer you a coffee as an apology?? If you don't mind?? I just.. I've been feeling really guilty these days and the fact that you forgave me even though i treated you so badly had been eating away and i just can't seem to-"

"No" was all you said. Is this man serious?? First he treats you like you're a piece of trash and then he's apologising and asking you out?? I mean.. the he-k?? Is he kidding?

"But y/n please let me treat your to a coffee I'm really really sorry....."

As you started to walk away, again, he couldn't help but sigh and look down again. Of course you said no. Who would even accept a coffee as an apology?? He should've just not showed his face ever ag-

"Y/n noona there's this fair that is in town. We're gonna go there tomorrow. Do you wanna come??" Jimin said suddenly before you could completely disappear out of sight. He just couldn't bear seeing Namjoon looking like a kicked puppy any longer.

"Wh-"

"BEFORE you say no," he continued, "Don't you think it's better to go to the fair with all of us" he pointed at himself and his five other friends with a twinkle in his eyes, "than going to a voting coffee shop with Namjoonie hyung and listening to his boring philosophical lectures?? Huh? Huh?? That way, hyung would be guilt free too and you can have some fun too! Besides we never did anything to you noona! Let's be friends?? Please??"

Ok boy you gotta admit these guys have some serious convincing skills. Besides, the boy had a point. Even though they never said anything to Namjoon when he made comments on you, but they might have says something when you weren't around..? And even though limited, the interactions that you had with the boys were sweet.

You weren't quite sure why, maybe it was Jimin's sugary sweet smile that was compelling you to say yes, or maybe it was something else. Something you couldn't quite figure out.

But after thinking for sometime and seeing Namjoon's hopeful expression, you said yes.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt to make some new friends. Maybe this bad day won't turn out so bad after all.

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gloves94 · 6 years

Text

Flowers of Glass [10/10]

Warnings: Suggestions of violence.

Pairings: Thomas Shelby x Pious! Reader Back to [CHAPTER 1] Summary: Reader is a devout Catholic. Her innocence and modesty make her untouchable to all of the men of Birmingham. However- is she really untouchable to all of the men in Birmingham?

My fanfiction: M A S T E R L I S T

Chapter [10] - Loaded Gun

With a mind sunk deep in devout prayer.

Mrs. Shelby was currently kneeling in the front pew of the church. She no longer wore her pristine white veil.

Instead, she kneeled and she prayed, she prayed and prayed and prayed.

She thought of Tommy, her dear husband, and she prayed for his soul. He was a good man. She knew it deep inside of her aching heart.

Often times Aunt Poll would join her in prayer. However, this time she was alone.

The cloudy skies cast a dull light which reflected through the church's colorful stained flowers of glasses on the windows.

Despite it being early in the morning the temple was empty.

Deep in devoted worship, she didn't hear the echoing footsteps entering the House of the Lord...

Mrs. Shelby had initially been so hesitant to marry the man. She didn't belong in his world tainted by malicious lies and deathly violence.

Neither did their child…

But did she have a choice?

Her child needed a father and his father needed him, and well- despite his occupation… Thomas had been a good man to her. A really good man.

It had led her to ponder on the philosophical question of what made a man: his job? The way he did his job? Or was it his character?

Meditating upon the Words of the Bible she came to a conclusion. God's Word, the Holy Book, was a book of love.

The greatest commandment was to "Love thy neighbor as thyself." She pondered long and hard on those words. Arguably God's first miracle towards humanity had been to give Adam, the first man, his equal, a wife, a person to love: Eve.

She would be the Eve to his Adam as he would be hers.

When reaching the front of the altar her eyes wandered to look at his pocket watch. She eyed the thin golden chain he had fashioned for it.

It was her rosary cross, the one he had once ripped from her heart in a dark alley.

Now he would always have a piece of her with him.

The day of her wedding she made a pact with God.

He had, and would always have her uncouth devotion, God that is.

In exchange, she only asked for him to save her husband's soul.

The pious woman was surprised at how her life changed when she married into the Shelby family. She spent a lot of time with Aunt Poll who was the family's matriarch. She liked to think of it as grooming.

Mrs. Shelby learned from her very quickly. Aunt Poll taught her what to do, what not to do, what to say, what not to say. They would often pray, run errands or simply enjoy each other's company. Ada would join them sometimes. And when Mrs. Shelby wasn't preoccupied with familiar tasks or running errands she could be found attending the needs of the family's wounded soldiers. An activity that part of Thomas detested, yet was thankful for.

Often times Tommy would miss dinner. Mrs. Shelby would tire of waiting for him with a full plate of cold food. After some time she decided to call it quits.

She could feel him slither into the sheets at the crack of dawn, his weight dipping the mattress. However, she wasn't one to question her husband's matters or his where-have-been's. Something that Aunt Poll had made very clear to her…

He would hold her tight and bury his face in her nest of hair. She could sometimes hear him mumbling something about "the drills…" in his sleep.

xxx

"What?" She would ask gently shaking him awake.

She had grown used to Tommy's odd sleeping habits. His tossing and turning, his sleeplessness, the mumbling, stirring and even sometimes the screaming.

"Tommy, wake up!"

"You're here." He would sigh as his arms found his way around hers. "You're here…" He would breathe into her skin.

xxx

Time passed.

Tommy's business grew with time.

The Peaky Blinder's territory and infamy spread through Birmingham and further like the plague. There wasn't a person who didn't know who the Shelby's were or would dare touch them with a ten-foot pole.

Tommy's job was to take care of the family business. Hers to take care of him.

Despite it all, their marriage was no bed of roses.

Being married to Tommy Shelby sometimes included unpleasant encounters. She felt as if every night it was something different.

Sometimes he would arrive home covered in something or someone's blood.

Other times he was wounded: shot, cut, bleeding, tortured, ill.

At times he was even high out of his mind. Even tho he had promised he would stop.

The stress of caring for the man who had her heart had caused strands of her hair to begin to turn grey regardless of her young age.

Their marriage could've been called a lot of things- ordinary definitely wasn't one of the words she would use.

xxx

"Now you've seen me."

He said to her the first time she caught him fumbling around the bathroom as he washed foreign blood of off his pale skin.

"Please stop," she would cry into his bare shoulder as she cleaned his wounds. It was beginning to take a toll. The sleepless nights, the stress, the fear or her husband not returning to her any day.

She almost felt as if any day could be the last.

She pleaded to her husband to take another office. She would not care if it was work in the mines or even in the docks. It was probably safer than having him stroll the streets with a target on his back as the leader of the Peaky Blinders.

"You knew the kind of man I was when you married me," he would say gruffly.

At loss of words, she remained silent.

xxx

Other peculiar instances that occurred after her marriage to Thomas would be when she would attend the market to run errands.

xxx

"Could I have some eggs?" she asked one of the vendors once kindly.

"None for ya," the man spat gruffly.

"I know ya. I seen ya. You're that whore- bearing a creature without God's blessing."

Cross. Upset, yet without another word she turned and left the store. She held her tongue and decided to forget about the incident.

The next morning... Mrs. Shelby awoke to the man banging on her doorstep at sunrise.

"I-I am so sorry. I wish I had known! I meant no disrespect! Here-Here!" He cried out as he handed the woman a basket full of fresh eggs to her.

He wore a black eye and appeared and was dressed in dried blood from the former night.

Many teeth gaps appeared in his grim expression, his mouth swollen.

xxx

After that-

Whenever Mrs. Shelby entered a place, Mrs. Shelby got what she wanted.

People began dodging her in the street. Vendors would hand her free cheese, free produce, fresh and hot bread right of the oven. Even the lame and beggars would cringe whenever she approached them to give charity.

Rooms would clear the moment she set foot in them. All falling silent at the presence of the woman.

Aunt Poll would mutter that the people had grown more afraid of disrespecting her than of Tommy himself. God knows what the people of Birmingham had heard.

Rumors were whoever dared lay a hand on Mrs. Shelby would loose more than a hand, and whomever dared even look in her direction would be made a blind man.

Once- a religious man made the mistake of approaching her one Sunday outside of the church. He had meant no ill, yet there was Thomas. Outside, patiently waiting for his wife to finish her worship.

Mass had never been his cup of tea.

Without a word he simply approached her and claimed her. He took in her elbow and with a subtle hand on her back simply lead her away, his jaw was tight as he glared at the foreigner.

Mrs. Shelby simply smiled at her husband and took his hand in hers as they returned home.

Yet- despite it all… Thomas was a loving man to both her and their child. Their small home was filled with familiar laughter, breakfast food fights and bedroom pillow fights.

Some nights Mr. Shelby and his wife would dance to the latest swing jazz on their living room stereo. When Tommy returned from out of town trips it was always nice.

He would arrive with a toy hidden behind his back to surprise his son with. The child would exclaim and clap his hands in excitement at the surprise.

His wife would hold a hand to her heart simply relieved to have her husband home once again.

He would also have a treat for her, rare gems, pearl necklaces, African diamonds imported from the bloody mines of El Congo.

However, she was simply happy to have him back.

She would embrace him tightly every day.

Rain or shine. Shedding away her sadness or anger she would swallow her pride and embrace the man who had given her everything.

After all, any day could be their last.

...They stopped behind her.

The footsteps that is. A pregnant silence followed. A dropped pin could be heard in the temple.

An arm raised.

A loaded gun aimed.

Threatened. Her eyes shot open.

Holding her breath she mumbled her final prayers. Realization washed over her consciousness.

She begged God to forgive and save her husband's soul one final time.

Despite the darkness that Tommy carried within him, there was also good. He had done well. He had done good…

She kept a beaded rosary wrapped around her palms.

Wrapped safely around the white, pearly rosary was a loaded gun held tightly in her stiff hand.

Her finger itched against the burning trigger.

the end.

FIRST: [1] The Untouchable Woman

PREV: [9] Addiction

TAGS: @i-love-superhero @savemesteeb @hollabackhollagram

AN: What did you guys think of the ending? Let me know in the comments below! (Please don't shoot me (lol) it's up to the interpretation of the reader. Was Mrs. Shelby shot? Or did she shoot first?) Funfacts about the story: -The ending of The Godfather (the book) inspired me to write this final chapter. - I named (Name) reader “Maria” in my head. - I’m barely in S2 of Peaky Blinders 💀

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itsjesperfahey · 7 years

Text

modern soc au

inej:

loves to dance !!! esp ballet but she can dance to whatever tbfh, she’s that good

likes to wear caps, esp backwards. really loves bomber jackets too.

has a couple, small tattoos dedicated to her saints

is that one kid who loves to do parkour (both ironically and unironically) for instance is really good at it but sometimes just yells PARKOUR and steps over a rock

usually found eating lunch with her pals on the roof of the school

is amazing at hide and seek like holy fuck ????? hid for 2 hours once and wasn’t found, came back the next day and was like “y'all losers SUCK"

loves to study other people’s cultures, as well as history and is great as p.e (never has gotten a bad grade in the flexibility tests)

likes to read poem books

has a black cat as a pet named "saint"

pronounced meme as "mehmeh” the first time she read it

only has snapchat and instagram. is that kid who ALWAYS posts the sunset every day, esp from weird/high places and the comments are always “HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET UP THERE"

cried the most during fox and the hound

always braiding nina’s hair. Knows how to do all the super advanced onces as well

"I don’t know, CAN YOU?"

the best one at pushing people on the swings

AMAZING AT JUST DANCE WITH JESPER

"sorry I ran out of fucks to give try again later maybe?"

gives the nicest presents. always knows what a person wants for christmas/their birthday

the one who’s really into photography and is always taking aesthetic™ pics of Nina for her social media accounts

Prefers tea over coffee

wylan:

bullied for not being able to read (at least up until high school), so is super shy

loves drawing. the artistic™ one who takes anatomy to be able to draw people better

MASTER FLUTE MUSICIAN. On the school band. Jams hard af when he plays it

is in gem math and AP chem with kuwei.

loves sweet. addicted to blue jolly ranchers. his tongue is always blue

constantly pushing up his thick rimmed glasses (even if they ain’t on, which causes him to poke his eye)

looooves all the superhero shows on the CW

V neck sweaters. always

always has his trusty satchel

only has tumblr. has like 10k followers because of his artwork.

”‘illuminati’ ? is that a band?“

cat person even though he’s allergic to cat fur. absolutely adores inej’s cat. settles for owning a horned lizard named "shrek"

secretly a huge fan of memes

really gay for tom holland and ed sheeran (calls him "ginger Jesus”)

gamer with jesper. they always play overwatch together, wylans better tho. a genji and Ana main

cried the most during big hero six

wylan, with blank eyes: “I like my coffee how I like my men” // jesper: *spits out his drink*

matthias:

sports fan obv. On the schools hockey team bc his fav is hockey. is extremely competitive when he plays it. Is constantly checking but never gets penalties (aka slamming the other players against the walls)

played basketball against jesper and surprisingly lost. jesper won’t let it go

dog person. owns a pet pomsky (Pomeranian-husky) with nina who’s name is “bub"

“long hair don’t care”draws inspiration from Harry styles

really philosophical. takes all the philosophy/ethics classes available

kind of sounds like Thor (thick and deep accent)

a good™

"you’re all horrible trash”

“do we really have to be doing this now? I have to finish my homework"

loves baking. bakes everything for the love of his life

grey sweatshirts and adidas shoes

wears contacts Because he hates how glasses look on him. only wears them when he’s home

oblivious to all the women in love with him

"CAN YOU EVEN LIFT BRO? BECAUSE I SURE AS FRICK CAN” (doesn’t curse)

real 👍🏻🤘🏻👌🏻life🤰🏻👼🏻🌱student📚✂️✏️athelete🏃🏼🥇🏆🥅🏒

has Facebook and Twitter only

cried the most during bambi and dumbo

little spoon™

has a couple tattoos with very deep meanings

jesper:

dancer with inej. dances like those ppl who look like robots ??? the ones who look like they freeze parts of their body while the others move. AMAZING at it

loves jazz but also dubstep/edm and rap/r&b. Beyoncé is MOM/QUEEN.

sometimes djs parties

again, huge gamer with wylan. he’s a lucio and junkrat main for overwatch. loves like every video game ever

loves all the marvel movies, in love with black panther (was team cap)

dresses like a hipster but also sometimes a fuck boy (tank tops and shorts with a backwards cap style)

favorite subject is business and debate. great negotiator

cried the most during the lion king

A+ cosplayer (especially his lucio cosplay)

big supporter of human rights (LGBTA+, feminist, black lives matter, poc representation). Will LITERALLY get into fights over anyone who thinks otherwise. Fist fights, always supported by Kaz and Matthias. Got suspended for 3 days for breaking a kids nose who thought LGBTA+ people should **** ** ****)

that one kid who has 50 fidget spinners and can do cool tricks with them. also manages to sell all of them

skateboard pro™

always sends the blinking face meme, even if it’s out of context

all the social medias.

one tattoo only of a gun with a 'bang’ flag coming out of it

nina:

PROFESSIONAL👏🏻 MAKE 👏🏻 UP 👏🏻 ARTISTS 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 HAS HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF FOLLOWERS ON HER INSTAGRAM AND THE SAME FOR HER YOUTUBE CHANNEL

Speaking of YouTube, she always does cute videos. Baking/cooking tutorial videos featuring Matthias, 'i do my boyfriends makeup’, 'my boyfriend does my makeup’, 'my boyfriend buys my makeup’, does make up tutorials obviously, challenges with her best friend inej like the 'whisper challenge’. everyone loves her and says her and Matthias are their otp

loves fashion design, takes that class.

loves horror movies/creepy things but also Disney

great at roller skating

always wins the best dressed awards ad school

also huge fan of ed sheeran. loves little mix more than 5h.

cried the most during 'up'

Can speak like 4 languages (English, french, Latin and spanish)

loves traveling and learning about new cultures too

dancer!inej’s biggest fan and hockey!matthias’ biggest fan

always breaks snapchat streaks

likes to (friendly) debate with jesper, especially over stupid things

amazing with kids. babysits all the time. calls “bub” (the dog) her and matthias’ baby

big spoon™

notes are so fucking pretty. buys the most expensive stationary and notebooks

also huge supporter of human rights. runs the feminist club. (Jesper is the Vice President) stresses loving yourself and your body, and makes sure to design comfortable yet GORGEOUS clothes for “"plus sized people”“

wins 'dynamic duo’ award with inej

always eating lollipops

has a few very small tatos of cute things like roses and crowns. has one quote written in cursive on her rib

kaz:

prefers black coffee as well

loves crime shows, whether they’re real or fake. for instance loves both 'Dateline’ and 'Criminal Minds’ also loves 'House’

favorite class is psychology, learning how a person thinks and acts and feels

has the dregs tattoo on his arm * edge lord 9000™ * such a drama queen and diva like damn

*deep sigh* "I think I’d rather go take a nap” *gets up and leaves*

also loves computer science. knows how to hack shit like a pro

always rough housing with jesper. broke a table once

does walk with a cane. likes to slap matthias’ ass with it

“bow down you fucking peasants"

only types in lower case with 0 emojis and no punctuation marks. CONSTANTLY leaves people on read

only has Twitter and snapchat. His posts on snapchat never have captions, yet somehow has a 200 day streak with Jesper and a 250 day streak with inej

loves watching horror movies with nina

*in a fight* "oh I’ll sHOW YOU SOME DIRTY HANDS” *swings*

gets second place for best dressed award

always sending memes with no context in their group chat, as well as vines

indie and alternative rock fan

“does it look like I care because I’m sorry if it does I didn’t mean to give you that impression"

head over heels for inej Ghafa like wow

likes to read a lot of mystery books and non fiction books

cried the most during finding dory

can solve a Rubik’s cube under a minute and won’t let you forget it

The one asshole who picks either Kirby or metaknight in super smash brothers brawl

hates seeing the notification bubble so he always has all chats muted and notifications turned off for apps

kiss ass to all the teachers to get them A’s

Kuwei:

SCIENCE NERD. ALWAYS singing the bill nye theme song. Loves ASAPScience on YouTube. Master at chemistry and biology

"hey did u know bill nye is, like, my dad"

nina treats him like a baby

loves everything to do with Star Wars while wylan loves star trek more. Fighting ensues.

has a pet Siamese cat name sparky

Used to have a huge crush on jesper and everyone knew it except jesper.

knows the intro to the bee movie ("according to all known laws of aviation-”)

jesper in the group chat: “gonna go shower be right back” // kuwei: “without me ;)?” // wylan: “KUWEI SWEAR TO FUCK” // kaz: “watch your fucking language wylan"

obsessed with Pokémon go even if it died out (chose team instinct)

"fight me on this"

has Twitter, snapchat and instagram

Always drinking ginger ale

master at bop it

the one kid who always forgets to pay you back for stuff

is also into the CW super hero shows, so him and wylan are constantly talking about it

loves cartoons and anime

speaks fluent fuckboy

God awful at comebacks

"let’s take a selfie guys !!!” // “kuwei no-” // *snapshot sound*

talks !!! Like !! This !!!! for,,, some reason ????????

huge nerd for other things too like lord of the rings and Harry Potter and game of thrones

cried the most during inside out

"do you think planes are scared of heights?“ // "for fucks same kuwei it’s 4am”

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