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monster-bait · 3 years

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Hi, I see lots of people asking about stories of yours that you've taken down for publishing and it made me wonder. Do you have a place where people can read synopsis (plural??) of upcoming books/books that have been taken down? I saw the teaser for Sweet Berries at the end of your Farm book, but I don't know the one coming in 2022 I don't think and I wanna get hyped! (Have read Sweet Berries stories, but the book is gonna be bomb)

I don't have a synopsis landing page, but my website is about to get an overhaul, so that might be changing!

In the meantime, here's the tentative order of things:

Parties, GW book 2- Several months after a weekend girls' trip, suburban elves Lurielle, Ris, and Silva are still affected by their experiences at the resort and the orcs they met there.

Lurielle discovers that being in a multi-species relationship has its challenges: meeting Khash's family, introducing him to hers, and facing the harsh realities that lie ahead if they stay together. A lifetime together or a lifetime apart - she must decide if she can bear the heartache the future holds.

When Ris returns to the resort on a whim, an unexpected encounter with a slightly familiar face upends this elf's desire to be a free as the wind. Ainsley is simultaneously everything and nothing that she's looking for - smart and sexy and completely unattached . . . but how long can they "keep things casual?"

Silva struggles to juggle the expectations of her family and seeing Tate in secret until she becomes tangled in her web of lies, necessitating a choice - following the carefully mapped life of privilege her family has planned for her in their Elvish community . . . or throwing it all away to follow her heart, for a man with his own heart full of secrets.

Parties is a multi-POV story, following all three girls through a succession of soirees, each one winding their separate story lines - and the work friends - tighter together.

Sweet Berries - Grace has a job she loves, a community she adores, and plenty of friends . . . but her lack of bedroom action has left this event planner too horny to think. When one ill-advised night at the bar leads to her giving an exhibitionistic show to an unknown presence outside her bedroom window, she thinks she’d hit a new low. When her voyeur turns out to be a nebbishly charming mothman, Grace needs to decide if she can trust her body — and her heart — with this garnet-eyed stranger before he flys out of her life for good.

Sweet Berries is a monster/human romance novella featuring high heat and a lot of heart, with a guaranteed HEA. It is the second book in the Cambric Creek Romance series, and can be read as a standalone. CWs: human/nonhuman romance, nonhuman anatomy, size difference, exhibitionism

Pride - Don’t ever go into the forest alone, gorza, there are strangers there who will take you away.

She had grown up in the shadow of the forest, with the story of the boy who’d disappeared into its black confines having been passed down in her clan for generations. She never imagined the story’s subject might be real.

Nineteen, rebellious, and queer; trapped in a marriage she never wanted, Elshona wishes that she too could disappear from her life, never to be seen again. When she meets a sharp-toothed stranger in a pub, whose past bears more than just a passing resemblance to the tale she’s known all her life, she does the one thing she was taught not to do: follows him into the night, out the door and away from her family and all she knows, all the way across the sea.

Pride is a Girls Weekend side-story about Tate and Elshona: how they meet, their shared connection, and the pain of not being accepted and leaving home behind. It's a story of queer acceptance, chosen family, and the ties that bind us, for better or worse. CW: ALL the emotions

Moon Blooded Breeding Clinic - Returning to Cambric Creek is the last thing Lowell Hemming wants to do, but when his career as a photographer is put on hold, he’s not left with much of a choice. Suffocating under the weight of the Hemming family name and the confines of his small hometown, the monthly full moon is the only time he doesn’t feel trapped. When an intriguing flyer requesting healthy male werewolves catches his eye, he finds himself calling Moon Blooded Breeding Clinic, signing up as a donor for their catalog.

From the outside, recently divorced Moriah has everything - except the one thing she wants: a child of her own. Desperation pushes her to contact a very unconventional clinic with an unparalleled success rate . . . all she needs to do is align her reproductive cycle to the full moon and pick a werewolf from a catalog with whom to mate.

Moon Blooded Breeding Clinic will feature a high heat slow burn that examines real-world issues through the unique lens of Cambric Creek. CW: knotting, breeding, werewolf/human relationship.

Changes, GW book 3 - hahahaha, nope. Not yet!

Wheel of the Year - Ousted from her coven, hurting for clients, and struggling to keep her aging family home, socially awkward witch Ladybug is at the end of her rope. When she rents the attic bedroom to a silent, unsmiling drider, she thinks her life might be on the right track to improve; when she lets him into her bed, it will never be the same.

Wheel of the Year is a series of short vignettes, centered around the witch's sabbaths. CW: arachnophobia, spider anatomy, biological aphrodisiac, HUGE size difference, non-human/human romance.

Beneath the Linden Trees 1 - In a time of war and kings, the orcs of clan Duh’lar have secured the mountains for their own, and if adopting the customs of men is the only way to keep it, they will do what they must. Peace and prosperity follow, but when war comes to the Easterlands, the Lord of Linden Hall must decide if the orcs will honor their treaties.

Beneath the Linden Trees follows tree orcs and the women they love, and how the decisions of one affects the lives of the others:

Aurelie is a well-bred human Lady from the Easterlands, promised in marriage to the youngest son of the orc lord, sent away from her father's keep to her new home at Linden Hall. To her shock, her betrothed is warm and kind, well-spoken and indulgent . . . but after several weeks in residence in her new home, she has still not laid eyes on Tilianus, the orc she is to marry.

Lisette and Gelgrah, a witch destined for the stake and the orc who rescues her, have built their home at the base of the mountain, far from Linden Hall. When war comes to the mountains, Lisette realizes their little family is at risk of being torn apart.

Eh'lazar is an acolyte at the temple of the moon, learning the ancients arts from the high priestess, Eonar, before he is cast out for dabbling in darker magics. Hardening his heart, he cultivates a reputation as a powerful necromancer, capable of raising an army of the dead . . . but when war comes to the mountains, he must choose between cementing his power and the elf he once loved.

Beneath the Linden Trees will be a three-part series (for now) that should be read as a series. CW: typical period-era violence, human/non-human romance, size differences

Rosemary & Time - She had always known the way through the wood, until the day the wood changed.

When Thorn follows a light into the forest, the world she thought she knew falls away. Memories and lives already lived shift and dance in her head, obliterating reality and leaving her at the mercy of the fae to whom she is forever bound. Jack of the lanterns is the last person she ought to trust, but as she is thrust into the world of the high courts, he is all she has.

Surviving the treacherous Court of Autumn's capricious Queen and her deadly consort are only the start of Thorn's journey through the wood, and she must decide if she is willing to play their game forever . . . or free herself from her captor, the man she has loved for several lifetimes.

Rosemary & Time is a topsy-turvy journey through the world of the fae, where magic and memory weave a confusing tapestry, and where nothing is ever what it seems. It is a standalone story, but is connected to Girls Weekend, and recommended for the richest reading if both worlds. CW: it's the fae, baby. All the content warnings.

Reunions, GW book 4 - I promised happy endings for all my babies, and after a lot of suffering, this is the book in which they finally get it.

That's what I have planned for now!

#monsterbait publishes #authorblr #writeblr #authors of tumblr #exophilia #monster romance #monster boyfriend #monster lover #orcs #fae #cambric creek wolf pack

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pressedinthepages · 3 years

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Adrenaline

YOU GUYS. I just hit 400 followers here on the tumble machine. I cannot thank you guys enough for your love and support and allowing me to explore this side of my creativity with you <3 To celebrate, I asked some of my friends in @continentcakeshop to give me pairings to go with a short list of prompts. So over the next little while, I will be posting 6 fics to fill those prompts!

For Prompt #4, we have “Keep quiet or someone'll hear“ for @major-trouble <33

Relationship: Lambert/Jaskier

Rating: Explicit

Content Warnings: smut, public sex, voyeurism, oral

Summary: Lambert does his best to escape a party, and finds himself on a balcony with the bard who brought him there in the first place.

Lambert narrowed his eyes at the twinkling stars above, attempting to will away the sounds of the party just around the corner of shrubbery with sheer mental force. He’d escaped the overwhelming sights and sounds quick enough, traversing through twisting hallways and up spiraling staircases, only to wind up at a balcony barely a floor above and no more than fifty paces away from the seemingly never-ending celebration.

He wasn’t even sure why he was there in the first place. Sure, he’d slain the basilisk that had been prowling the countryside for a fortnight, but he didn’t belong at an event like this. He should’ve just taken his coin and left, just like any other contract.

But no.

Of course, Geralt’s fucking bard found him in the tavern, and of course he was the one to inform Lambert of the contract on the damned overgrown lizard in the first place. Now, Lambert knew what a softie Geralt was with his bard. He’d let him tag along on contracts with merely the bat of some pretty eyelashes and a peek of fuzzy chest hair. But that was where Lambert drew the line. He’d told those stunning blue eyes that he didn’t need to be worrying about his tight little ass while also trying to avoid spitfire. He promised a good story in return for the bard’s songs, but that was all.

And then, when he’d come back, Jaskier had already roped the whole damned court into throwing a ball in celebration of his ‘victory over the beast’ and insisted that he join them, ‘just for a bit.’

And damn, did Lambert understand Geralt when he looked into those pleading eyes.

One thing led to another and there he was, alone beneath a clear starry sky with his ears ringing from the countless voices not nearly far enough away and his mind rattled trying to figure out a mental map of the castle to find a better hiding spot.

Before he could get terribly far though, a somewhat familiar set of footsteps pattered up the stairs in his direction, soft and frantic, well used to a Witcher’s ears listening for them. Lambert needn't turn to find Jaskier behind him, he could practically feel the rainwater blue eyes boring into the back of his neck.

“What, bard?”

“Chose a hell of a hiding spot,” Jaskier spoke quietly, his voice like honey atop warm bread, seeping into the cracks and crevices of Lambert’s mind. “What’s on your mind?”

“Not that it matters,” Lambert groused, clenching his jaw, “but it’s fuckin’ loud. ‘S too many people, too close together. Didn’t wanna come anyways.”

“Then why did you?”

Lambert looked over his shoulder, his heart stuttering a beat at the sight of Jaskier bathed in the light of the moon, adrenaline flushed and unkempt from an evening of performing. He’d lost his doublet before the sun had even set, and his chemise was untied and barely still tucked into his trousers. He looked like every wet dream that had been plaguing Lambert since he discovered just what a cock felt like in his ass, and he had this soft look in his eyes that drew Lambert to pause.

He cleared his throat. “Because you asked.”

“Oh,” Jaskier breathed with a smirk, glancing down and back up where Lambert leaned against the balcony railing. “In that case, might I suggest a...change of events for the evening?”

Lambert narrowed his eyes and swallowed thickly, his eyes drawn to the warm thrum of Jaskier’s pulse in his neck as he sauntered to the edge of the balcony. “Just what did you have in mind?”

Jaskier slowly reached out and, finding no ill-will or hesitation in Lambert’s eyes, dragged his finger up the edge of Lambert’s arm over his soft undershirt. “I’m sure we can think of something…”

Lambert smirked and glanced off towards the party before nodding. “Yeah, alright. I can see where you’re going with this one. Know where any beds are in this maze of a castle?”

“Oh, no no no. You’re far too pretty under the stars for me to let this go to waste here,” Jaskier set his hands on the balcony around Lambert’s waist, pinning him with a wolfish glint in his eyes. “I think I’ll have you just like this.”

“You’re on, Pretty Boy,” Lambert chuckled and leaned in, capturing Jaskier’s lips in a kiss that burned with fire behind his teeth and the soft echoes of whispers on his tongue. Jaskier tasted of rich pastry and the spice of mulled cider and Lambert lifted his arms to cup his hands around the back of his neck. He could feel that fluttering pulse beneath his fingers and he couldn’t quite help the moan that tore itself from the back of his throat.

But faster than his mind could register, Jaskier parted their lips and shoved a hand between them, covering Lambert’s mouth with his fingers. “Keep quiet or someone will hear,” he hissed, his cheeks flushed around the smirk on his lips.

Lambert narrowed his eyes once more, putting as much venom and disdain into his eyes as he could. Jaskier’s hand over his mouth was...well. His fingers were long and dextrous, and his skin was warm and soft, his fingertips haunted by callouses born from his art. He smelled of lanolin and chamomile and cherry blossoms and Lambert felt the hint of the threat of his knees buckling beneath him.

He nipped carefully at the soft flesh of Jaskier’s palm, all too aware of his just-too-sharp teeth. Jaskier gasped and shook his hand away, shooting a fiery glance at him before the Witcher tugged him back by the waist. “Then make me, bard.”

A devilish look shadowed itself in Jaskier’s eyes and he spun them around, leaning back on the bannister with Lambert overlooking the sprawling gardens and the lights of the party just around the bend. “Go on, get down,” Jaskier whispered into Lambert’s lips, “let’s put that mouth of yours to good use.”

Lambert smirked and dropped to his knees after a cursory glance behind him. He dragged his hands over the supple silk of Jaskier’s trousers and carefully squeezed the muscular thighs that were so wonderfully encased within. “You’re sure about this, Jaskier?”

The bard smiled down at him, that same soft look bleeding through the sass and smirk of the performative practice. “Truly, yes. And you?”

Lambert nodded and started undoing the buttons to Jaskier’s trousers, flitting them apart one by one until his cock hung half-hard into the night air. Well, fuck, Lambert thought to himself as he took in the dark curls that sat nestled around the base of Jaskier’s ruddy flushed cock, he’s even pretty here.

One of Jaskier’s hands balled itself into a fist and rose to his lips, stifling a gasping moan as his other hand tangled into Lambert’s hair as the Witcher wrapped his lips around Jaskier’s cock and began lightly sucking at the sensitive skin. Lambert felt him swell and pulse on his tongue and he hollowed his cheeks, slowly taking more and more of Jaskier’s cock into his mouth. He tasted the salty musk of his arousal dripping onto his tongue and Lambert felt his own cock take interest and start to harden in his trousers.

“Gods above, Lambert,” Jaskier whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear where he knelt between his thighs. Lambert closed his eyes and allowed himself to immerse himself in Jaskier. The feeling of his blood pounding beneath his hands, the velvety hardness resting in his mouth. The scent of his arousal and sweat from a night of performing, mingling with the subtle peaceful aroma that surrounded the bard. The sound of his heart fluttering, his breath hitching in his throat. The fucking taste of his slick on his tongue, the sight of his flushed cheeks and freckled chest beneath the stars.

It was enough to distract him, even to make him feel as though he were hours away, alone in a campsite with Jaskier backed up against a tree. But there was still adrenaline coursing through his veins as the party roared beneath them, and Lambert couldn’t help but imagine the flashes of what may happen if they were found in such a compromising position.

His arousal flexed and hardened as he finally took Jaskier to the base, his nose nestled in the coarse hairs and the head of his cock tickling the back of his throat. He breathed in through his nose, willing himself not to gag on the poor bard, though he’d probably enjoy that, his ego’s large enough for the both of us.

Lambert slurped and licked back up slowly, circling the tip of Jaskier’s length with a cheeky glance up, feeling Jaskier’s thighs trembling under his fingers. He bobbed his head back and forth, never looking away from those bright blue eyes that kept so many, now including Lambert, entranced. He flexed his tongue around the underside of his cock as he rose back to the tip, toying with the sensitive patch of skin and listening to the frankly delicious groans that were only just audible over the din of the party.

He chuckled and pulled back enough to catch his breath for a moment, “I thought we were supposed to be quiet, bard.”

Jaskier dropped his head back with a hearty laugh, born from deep in the chest and with enough joy to even bring a soft smile to Lambert’s cheeks. “You have me on that, Lambert. Alright, alright. Yes, fine, I take it back. Please, just-”

“Ah, my favorite word,” Lambert shook his shoulders out and shuffled his knees into a more comfortable spot, “please...”

Lambert wasted no time in swallowing him back down, setting a brutal pace that had Jaskier’s knees fully buckling into him, letting his arms hold him up around the backs of his legs. Jaskier gasped and moaned and cursed, throwing his head back unabashedly and clenching his thighs around Lambert’s head.

Lambert could feel the bard’s rapidly approaching climax with every stuttered shift of his hips and drip of slick onto his tongue. He hummed around Jaskier’s cock and felt him flex deep in his throat, pulling a cough out of his chest as he readjusted. Close, so godsdamned close.

“L-Lambert, please...please just-fuck,” Jaskier spat through gritted teeth, his blunt nails scratching along Lambert’s scalp, “‘m gonna-where should I-”

Lambert hummed and kept himself steady, taking Jaskier as deep as he could and swallowing around him, encouraging the orgasm that was so quickly looming. Jaskier gasped and gave several aborted thrusts of his hips up into Lambert’s mouth, barely enough to push him any deeper before he finally spilled into him.

Jaskier was hot and musky, deliciously thick as Lambert’s throat worked to swallow every last drop of his spend. His fingers dug into Jaskier’s thighs, his lips relaxing and slowing to ease Jaskier through the encompassing bliss of his orgasm. Lambert finally felt Jaskier’s fingers soften their grip in his hair and he pulled himself back, swallowing the last remnants of his climax with a cheeky wipe from the back of his hand.

“Right then,” Lambert stood and bracketed his arms on either side of Jaskier’s waist, grinding his still-hard cock into the crook of the bard’s hip, “my turn.”

#smut #400 follower celebration #lambert/jaskier #bombard

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marvelfans4blm · 4 years

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Marvel Fans 4 BLM - Rules and FAQ!

What is Marvel Fans 4 BLM?

Marvel Fans 4 BLM is a charity auction where fans offer works in exchange for donations. Our focus is to raise money for various Black Lives Matter organizations as well as focus on creating content for Black Marvel characters.

Who is allowed to participate?

All fans from any and all Marvel fandoms are welcome! We ask that if you are under 18, you do not offer or request explicit rated content.

How does it work?

Creators sign up to offer their works. Bidders then pledge donation amounts in auction-style. The winning bidder donates their pledged amount to a charity; once that donation is confirmed, the creator starts, uh, creating!

What is the schedule?

Monday 15 June - Sunday 28 June: Creator Sign Ups

Monday 29 June - Sunday 5 July: Browsing Week

Monday 6 July - Sunday 12 July: Auction Week

Sunday 19 July: Proof of Donations Due

Sunday 15 November: Check-In

Sunday 31 January 2021: Fanworks Due

More FAQ, Rules, and Resources under the cut!

What items are acceptable for creators to offer?

All creations should be centered around one or more canon Black characters in any Marvel fandom (movies, comics, TV - any Marvel adaptations!). Other characters are welcome to join the fun, as long as they are not the main focus. Shipping and Gen content alike are welcome! Creations accepted are:

- Fanfic

- Digital art (original art, moodboards, manips, edits, etc.)

- Physical art (artworks, crafts, merch, etc.)

- Podfic

- Fan vids

- Translations

- Fan labor (beta work, sensitivity reading, culture-picking, fact checking, SPAG editing, etc.)

If you’d like to offer something not listed, feel free to ask.

I wanna be a creator! Tell me more!

More details will be shared at each stage, but here’s an outline to get you started!

Creator sign-ups run from Monday 15 June to Sunday 28 June. You’ll sign up via a Google form and there you can specify what type of fanwork(s) you are offering with some relevant details like characters, pairings, and content you are willing to create in addition to other notes for bidders to see!

As well as fundraising for important causes, this event is intended to create new content for our favorite Black Marvel characters. With that in mind, we will not accept any previously published or created works. The exception to this is physical goods and crafts.

After the auction closes, we will put you in touch with the highest bidder and from there you two work together to create something great! Once you have your bidder’s prompt, you’ll have until 31 January 2021 to complete your work for them. We’ll have a check-in on 15 November but it’s up to you to follow through by the 2021 deadline. Unfortunately, failure to complete by the deadline will mean you will be unable to participate in future events - until you meet your obligation to your bidder.

You can offer up to three works for auction, but please be honest and respect your limits. We want both creators and bidders to end with a complete work and enjoy the process! For physical goods, it is up to you and your bidder to decide how to handle shipping - keep this in mind when setting your starting bidding price.

After posting, you can tag us in and any works that follow our rules will be included in our AO3 collection and featured on our Tumblr!

I wanna be a bidder! Tell me more!

From 29 June through 5 July, you will be able to view all items up for bid, as well as check out each creator’s other works to get a feel for what they can do. You may also reach out to contact individual creators if you have questions. We recommend that if you have a specific idea in mind, or a rarepair, or something the creator has never done before, that you reach out and confirm they will be able to fulfil your request before you bid on them.

From 6 July through 12 July, bidding will be open. All bids will be placed in US dollars, with a $5 minimum starting bid and a $2 minimum incremental bid. Bidding will not be anonymous. Group bids are welcome.

You may bid on as many items as you like, but please keep in mind that you cannot retract a bid, so make sure you can commit to donating the amount(s) that you bid. You may donate to any of our approved organizations listed below, or ask the mods for approval to donate to another cause that is working towards BLM goals.

For physical fanworks, whether or not your final bid includes shipping will be up to the creator. Once we receive confirmation of the donation, we’re no longer responsible for communication between creators and bidders. Be aware that for physical fanworks, creators will need your address to send you the item. If you aren’t comfortable giving out personal information, we suggest you bid on other auctions instead.

Once the auction is over, we will confirm the final amount for your winning bid(s); do not donate until you receive this confirmation. As soon as we have proof of your donation (pdf receipt that shows date, organization, and amount, all other info can be redacted) we will put you in touch with your creator. At this point, it is up to the two of you to work out how you’d like to proceed to ensure that the bid is fulfilled by 31 January 2021.

If you don’t hear from your creator after we connect you, please reach out to them yourself! If it has been a couple of months and you haven’t heard from them at all despite your efforts to get in touch, let us know and we’ll try to contact your creator on your behalf or help you assess the situation. Unfortunately, there’s always an inherent risk that a creator may fall through for various reasons. If this happens, we hope that knowing that you donated money to support an amazing cause will lessen the disappointment of not receiving a promised fanwork.

Remember that this event is designed to create content for Black Marvel characters, so please be sure to keep your requested works aligned with our Content & Conduct guidelines.

What charities will be supported?

We want participants to feel connected to where their efforts are going. There are multiple organizations linked in our Resources section below, along with master list sites that are updated regularly as new donation opportunities arise.

Creators will be allowed to specify up to three sites that they’d like their winning bidder to support with their donation. Any of the sites or organizations linked in our Resources section are acceptable. Creators can also decline to list a preference, and their winning bidder will be permitted to donate to any of the sites or organizations linked in our Resources section.

We are also open to suggestions! Other donation opportunities requested by the creator and vetted by the mods will be welcome.

Can I sign up to provide more than one offering? Can I sign up as a creator and a bidder? Can I bid on more than one offering?

The answer to all of these is an enthusiastic yes! Creators can make up to three offerings. Just be sure not to spread yourself too thin; we want everyone to have a successful participation. Do not agree to participate, either as a creator or a bidder, unless you are absolutely committed to following through.

Content & Conduct

This event is designed to spotlight Black characters in a positive way. This doesn’t mean we require fluff, smiles, and happy endings, but it does mean that for this event, we require that you think critically about what you are presenting and how that representation fits within the larger context of the way fandom treats characters of color.

All creations must be centered around one or more canon Black characters, meaning they must be the main focus of the story, artwork, etc. They should not be sidelined in favor of other characters, and if there is any shipping (which is not required, Gen creations are more than welcome) they should be in the main pairing.

This event is designed specifically to support BLM and therefore we expect all participants and creations to align with the values of the movement. To that end, we ask that you do not create or request fanworks that celebrate law enforcement or the military. This is not the appropriate event for a cop AU or similar. For characters canonically affiliated with law enforcement or the military, be critical of how those institutions are portrayed, as well as how BIPOC are treated by and within those institutions.

Some additional points to keep in mind:

- Some Marvel characters have canonical physical, mental, and emotional disabilities - including invisible ones like chronic pain and mental illness. These should be treated respectfully, with due diligence given to portraying their lived experience.

- No perpetrating anti-Black stereotypes or tropes.

- No sympathetically portrayed Hydra or other Nazi analogues.

- No explicit or romantically portrayed non-con.

- No sexual/romantic relationships between adult and minor characters.

- No sexual/romantic relationships between family members.

- All content shared publicly should be tagged appropriately and thoroughly.

Any offerings or creations that do not adhere to these guidelines will not be promoted on any of our social media platforms, and may affect your ability to participate in future events.

Resources

Creating:

Writing With Color blogs, recs, & resources

Sam Wilson Birthday Bang resource page

Guide for non-Black authors writing Black characters

Common Microaggressions

Stereotyped vs Nuanced Characters and Audience Perception

Donations:

Black Lives Matters carrd

Say Their Names carrd

BLM card master list

Homeless Black Trans women fund

Who are the mods?

@a-majesti, @awesomesnafu, @gavilansblog, @samstevebuckyhq, and @thundercakes22 are your friendly mods. We bonded together over our love for Sam Wilson, and are amongst the mods & organizers for a variety of Sam Wilson-centric spaces, including the Sam Wilson Birthday Bang, SamSteve Small Gifts, SamSteveLove on Twitter, and the Sam Wilson Appreciation discord.

I have another question!

No problem, we’d love to hear from you! Email us (marvelfans4blm at gmail) or send us an ask here on Tumblr.

**Mod note: Thank you so much to @fandomtrumpshate and @marveltrumpshate for generously sharing their resources!

#marvel #mcu #fandom events #marvelfans4blm

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theheavenlymoon · 3 years

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A flower’s growth 🌸

I just realized that Hanako is technically a self-insert oc because I use her for more than just twst i-

Also, this is my number one resource https://camp-halfblood-fanon.fandom.com/wiki/Hestia_Cabin

Its mentions one important thing that is critical in Hanako's back story. I'll show you the important thing but I recommend reading it all because its really interesting!

"i.e. Hestia takes some essence of a mortal man she takes a liking to and create her child by fire from the hearth with her essence fused to that mortal's. Hestia then proceeds to notify the father as she cannot raise the child." (13 in 'powers and traits')

Also to give you some visuals (I’ll explain the two boys later on)

So with that being said..let's👏talk👏trauma! More specifically Hanako's trauma.

(The writing style might change so just ignore it-)

WARNING: Suicidal thoughts

Virginal Goddesses like Hestia don't really have kids. Athena children are born from their mother's head. So how would a Hestia child be born? Let me explain.

A man caught Hestia's attention. He was compassionate and energetic and always tried to help when he could. Even though he had very little money, even though he had some hard times, he was still compassionate and that intrigued Hestia.

When he was more financial stable, Hestia decided to gift him a child. A perfect gift for a family man like him. Hestia took some of his essence and mixed it with her’s and with the help of some fire from the hearth, Hanako was born.

A small knock could be heard through the small house. Fumihito goes to open the door only for a baby to staring up at him while making cooing noises. Rapped in a purple blanket with flowers on it, the baby had a small name tag that said ‘Hanako’

“Welcome home Hanako.” The man said with a small smile

When Hanako was about 4, Fumihito married his best friend and moved to America. A few months later triplets were born. All of them being male. First is Kaji, Hinote, and Yakeru. Most people would think Hana would hate to have siblings, but it’s quite the opposite. Hanako was ecstatic to have siblings she could play with.

When she was told she was going to be a big sister and had to take her role seriously, that’s exactly what she did. She read the boys to sleep and keeped them entertained as best as she could. When they were a little older Hana liked to make them wear dress and have tea parties. In return she took part in everything the boys did. Sports, video games, music, art you name it she would try it at least once.

Hana grew in grace and compassion. She truly was a great balance between her parents. It was funny hearing advice that sounds like something a sage would give only for it to be a child talking. She was a bright, energetic girl and never could stay in one place for very long. She was very social and was friends with almost everyone in her school.

But some stories can’t always be fairytales and rainbows...

Hanako’s step-mother fell ill and passed away when she was about 10. Everyone was devastated but life doesn’t stop when people fall. So they didn’t either. Obviously they still mourned but they tried to have a positive outlook even though a family member is gone.

(Fast forward to where Hana is 11)

In the dead of night, when everyone was in a deep slumber, there’s a small crash. At the sound, Hana jerks up in a sweat. Call it intuition, but she had a horrible feeling something was going to go wrong.

She snuck into her brother’s rooms and hid them in a small closet in one of their rooms. As Hana was about to go wake her father she heard a noise. Hana turned around only to see a woman holding what look to be like a sword.

Without warning the woman grabbed Hana’s hair and threw her into a bookshelf. Hana let out a small shriek. The bookshelf itself was unstable and the added force made it fall. Luckily Hana was fast enough to move most of her body. Let’s just say her left leg wasn’t as lucky as her other limbs.

The woman had a feeling the father could come out any minute so she ran around the corner and waited for the perfect opportunity to strike

At the sudden noises that we’re going outside his room, Hana’s father slams the door open only to see Hana stuck under the unstable bookshelf.

In at state of panics he rushed over to her. “Hana are you alright?!?!” But Hana didn’t answer. She was to focused on the woman who was still behind the corner.

“I’m calling the police! Just hang on!” Fumihito yelled. After Fumihito called 911 he tried to move the bookshelf. While he was doing so the woman kept stalking closer. “DADDY LOOK OUT-“ but it was to late. In one swipe Fumihito’s head was cut clean off, his body falling limp right beside Hanako. No one in that neighborhood could ever forget the Bloodcurdling scream that came from Hanako’s house. Eyes wide with horror and despair Hana couldn’t keep her tears in.

Before the woman could do any more damage they heard police sirens. “We will meet again someday demigod.” And with that the woman disappeared.

After a full check of the house they concluded that only the children were left. Once they found Hana, nothing was left of the lively girl. After helping her get out from under the bookshelf the police immediately sent her to the hospital. The police told the triplets to pack stuff that was most important to them and follow the police. (The triplets also packed stuff for Hana as well. One of the things being a photo album of the family.)

The police concluded that the children didn’t have any other adults to care for them so they would have to be put in an orphanage. However there wasn’t an orphanage where they lived so they would have to be put in a new town.

It was hard adjusting to this new life. There was barely enough food for everyone, you had to share rooms with other kids. Hanako had to use crutches for a while until her leg healed. Her new school wasn’t that great either. Hana, not being as social as she once was, was bullied for being too quiet. Not to mention, no one had ever seen a kid with natural yellow eyes and violet hair.

From beating her almost to death, to threatening to cut her hair and gouge her eyes out because she was ‘too pretty’

On terms of Hana in general, she wasn’t acting like her normal self. She had gotten more reserved and became a cry baby. You could easily tell she had eye bags and her anxiety was always threatening to go through the roof. You can only assume those eye bags were because of nightmares from that night. She talked much quieter and always wore a frown with her eye brows scrunched in a worried way.

The other three were to young to understand what happened. The police had to lie to them saying “your dad is on a special trip right now.”

About 6 months later the triplets were adopted by a man who looked like he was the head of some company. Hana tried her best to run after them but the staff had to hold her back. All the while the three were screaming for her to come and save them.

What no one knew is that the triplets would be forced to become assassins. It’s not like they wanted to! The man said if they didn’t he would kill their sister! The night after the adoption they all made a promise to keep Hana safe no matter what.

So there Hana sat all alone on the swings of a play ground, with no one around to comfort her. Surrounded by people who have families and are happy. It’s like the universe was taunting her.

The only thing that didn’t change is her older sibling nature. Giving her food to the little ones. Playing dress up or soccer. Her smiles were always fake. Maybe to the blind eye she seems happy but some could easily tell she was anything but happy.

6 months later Hana finally gets her cast takin off. At this time Hanako is 12 and is at her breaking point. After another day of school, and another day of almost getting beat to death, something snaps inside of her.

(TRIGGER WARNING⚠️)

You have to understand, Hanako didn’t have anybody to talk to. Everyone was either to busy or didn’t bother to care. Which left her all by herself. It felt like she was trapped almost. No one there to listen or laugh with.

The scissors on her dresser looked quite tempting. The relief of not having to go through any more of this pain and loneliness was very appealing, but before she could touch them a huge gust of wind blew into her room. Taking the scissors away from her while she was distracted.

If that couldn’t work then running away would be the next best option. That night Hana packed her things (including the photo album) and drew out her plan. It was quite simple really.

She would skip school and go behind it, where a cliff is, to get a good view of where she could go from there.

After running around the school and into a forest, Hana reached a stream. Cupping some water to drink, Hana got caught up in how refreshing the water was. A snap of a branch snapped her out of her state and made her look around. That’s when she saw the manticore out of the corner of her eye.

Hana quickly got up and started backing away only to forget that there’s a cliff and slips. Plummeting to her presumed death tears start to seep out once again. Out of no where a boy that looks to be about 15, swoops in to save her, but the weirdest thing is that his shoes have wings on them, But she was to tired to care. So acting like she didn’t have a care in the world, she rapped her arms around him and snuggled into his neck.

The last thing she could make out was something like “ Let’s get out of here before that manticore decides it wants a 3 course Demi-god meal!” Or something like that.

When Hana woke up, she looked around and realized she was in an infirmary room. The same boy she saw was sleeping on the bed next to her. A knock on the door was heard, and in came girl who looked about the same age as the boy. “You two have been out for a while.” She said “I would’ve never suspected that a tiny demigod like you could cause so much trouble.” Hana looked confused “Do I know you? And what do you mean by demigod?” She asked.

The older girl let out a small chuckle before walking up an sitting next to Hana. “I’m Jane, daughter of Aphrodite! The reason why I called you a demigod is because, well... you’re half god half mortal.” The younger girl couldn’t believe her ears. “B-but how do we know I’m a demigod?” “Have you seen your other parent before? Can you never be in one place for to long? Those are all signs my dear, of course if you don’t believe me we can wait till your godly parent claims you as their kid.”

After that small encounter Jane took Hanako on a tour of where she’d be staying the whole summer. “W-why are we at a camp? And who was that boy w-who saved me?” The younger girl asked in a quiet voice. “This camp houses demigods, there a two from what everyone knows. One for Greek gods and one for Roman gods. The boy who saved you is my best friend Chase, he’s a child of Hermes! Speaking of Hermes, you’ll be staying in that cabin until your godly parent claims you.” The elder girl pointed at the Hermes cabin. “The gods have specific cabins for them and their children, and depending on your mom or dad you could end up housing with me or Chase.”

After the tour, there was dinner, after dinner it was time for everyone to sit around the big campfire. Everyone was laughing, talking, and telling stories. One kid asked Hana if she knew her godly parent yet, but before she could answer something flashed above her head.

The warm glow of a fireplace hung over her head. Everyone stopped talking, looking shocked. Hana was the first ever child of Hestia! From the back of all the campers you can hear someone yell “All hail Hanako! Daughter of Hestia!” And just like that everyone bowed.

After all that craziness, Hanako was escorted to her own cabin. She let out a small thank you before going inside. To her surprise there was a woman waiting inside, but this woman felt oddly familiar. Almost as if Hana saw her before! The woman turned around and said “We have quite a lot to catch up on, Hanako.” With a welcoming smile. Just like that Hana dropped her bag and ran to the woman. It didn’t take long to figure out that she was her godly parent.

That night the two girls talked and talked till midnight. That’s when Hestia tucked Hana into bed. For the first time in a year she finally felt happy, and that night she went to sleep wearing a smile. The next day Hana sat by a tree relaxing when suddenly two boy came out of nowhere! One had black hair, blue eyes, and he had some freckles on his nose. The other had light brown hair and cyan blue eyes and wore a black baseball hat.

“We h-heard you were the daughter of Hestia and w-we were w-wondering i-if you would like to-“ “What he’s trying to say, is that we wondering if you to be friends!” The brunette interrupted. “A-are you sure you want a crybaby like me to be your friend??” The boys looked at each other and smiled (the brunette smiling more brighter and the blackette smile more small)

They nodded and reached out their hands to her’s. At first she hesitated but quickly grabbed their hands, afraid they might disappear. When she grabbed their hand it was like weights were lifted off her chest. She never realized until now, how important friends and family are until recently . “I’m Xavier and the dork with the freckles is Kai!” “I AM NOT A DORK!! I’m just not that great when it comes to ladies!” “Right, Right.” The brunette said sarcastically. “Anyway my godly parent is Hermes and Kai’s Mother is Athena!”

Maybe thing we’re starting to take a turn for the better.

Once she met those two Hanako started coming out of her shell more. She was still quiet and anxious but it isn’t as bad as before. Not to mention she gets more loud and energetic with Xavier and Kai around!

Hanako HATES libraries and bookshelf. She’ll go in a library if she has to, but she avoids them as best she can. If she’s ever in a vicinity of a bookshelf she’ll distance herself as much as possible. Let’s just say she gets very anxious and nervous when she around them.

If you ever asked about Hana’s past she would never be ashamed to tell you what happened. She isn’t happy about the events that took place but there’s nothing she can do about it know. So know matter what Hanako always tries to keep her head up high when it comes to her past.

(More visuals)

🌸Some side notes here🌸

(Don’t mind the last one’s eyes being blue. I was trying to decide if I wanted to stick with yellow or try something new-)

(I can go more into depth on Hanako’s two besties if anyone would be interested)

(I’m also thinking of reintroducing her because the first one is her in twst but she’s like that in every fandom basically. Obviously I won’t delete the first one I just wanna talk about everything she’s in and what her relations are to everyone!)

#ocs #twst oc #jjk oc #twisted wonderland #obey me oc #demon slayer oc #twst #genshin impact oc #twst x reader

19 notes · View notes

beebubb · 3 years

Note

I read your LJ and will headcanons and i really love them! Can you perhaps make some headcanons of when LJ had to take care of baby william? Like how would he treat him when he hated him and then when he actually grew to like him?

Ahhhhhh!!! Yessss!!! I'm gonna make this a post of LJ taking care or will from newborn to now

LJ taking care of william grossman headcanons (childhood all the way to now) + a bit of will's back story

Will as a baby

Will was assigned to LJ before will was even born

So while everyone was celebrating the pregnancy, LJ was just pissed

"GODDAMNIT THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T USE PROTECTION!!"

no one could hear or see him obviously, so he could say what ever he wanted

He just look at the dad be like "i bet that brat isn't even yours!"

He would just DREAD the day will was finally born

When will was born, and his mom finally came back home with will in her arms, was when he finally met him

".....he looks exactly like fucking isaac goddamnit!!!!"

He wouldn't take care of will and could care less about him

He would appear to will whenever he was alone in the nursery room and just say the meanest things to him or just hate anything will did

".....you're the cum shot your mom should have swallowed...."

"can you shut the fuck up?!?"

*carrying him* "go to hell you annoying waste of space"

"i wish I could take your eye out like I did to your fucking grandpa....."

"you know I can gut you whenever I feel like it"

Or just make dark jokes

"i can knock all your teeth over just like isaac! Wait, you don't have any! Hahaha!!"

LJ doesn't admit but, when he was watching over will, he just started crying, he was just so overwhelmed by everything, especially knowing he was stuck with his enemy's grandkid "i hate that i'm stuck with you!!! Why the fuck would you even want me?!? You're just going to abandon me just like your damn grandfather!!!"

With time though, he started growing fond of him

Will was really close to LJ. He would just smile to him, laugh, grab his pointy nose, and even if jack rarely carried him, you know those feathers jack has on his shoulders? Will would immediatly fall asleep with those

Once LJ was a bit more ready to care for him, was when he actually started trying

"Alright, i'm your guardian! I hate it! But if i'm stuck with you, i'm going to raise you MY way!"

"I'm the one protecting you so you BETTER say my name as your first word, got it?"

It took him a bit to warm up to him but it eventually came along

Will was a cuddly baby, so he loved to sleep on LJ's shoulder and grab his nose

"let go of my nose before I kill you"

When he was finally attached to will, he was acting more of a parent than anyone.

He would hate it if someone didn't take proper care of him

"you're holding him wrong!"

"he doesn't like to be held like that!"

"you're supposed to put 2 scoops of formula! Not 1!!"

"goddamnit I'm doing most of the work here!!!"

"if yall wanted a kid you should atleast know to care for it!"

Will's first word was JJ.

It was his attempt at saying LJ

"holy shit!!! That's not my name but it's close!! I knew it!!"

His mom and dad saw it as insignificant and thought it was just those weird baby noises that babies make

But LJ knew what he meant and was more happy than ever

"he likes me more!! In your face assholes!!"

Will as a toddler

LJ was there for his first words, so he was also there for will's first steps

Will was also a very energetic kid, and once he started crawling and walking, it was more chaos for his parents

They had to baby proof a lot of things

But LJ could keep up with his energy, and sometimes even tire him

Though there was this one time when will called him "daddy" and his dad thought he was calling him but actually, he was talking to LJ

Many think that LJ might hate to be called that sense well, you know, he hates children, but he honestly didn't know how to feel. He was a bit surprised, a bit happy, and confused

He didn't deny it, it was just like

Toddler will: daddy! Daddy!

LJ: um....uh... Lets keep playing ok?

LJ loved will and was happy to care for him and pretty much the hate he had towards him was pretty much gone but, he didn't really know how to feel

He let it slide but will called him that a lot

LJ would get a bit emotional sometimes but he would just try to ignore it and keep playing with will

Or he would just slightly smile

Will as a kid (4-11)

Will was now more aware and way more energetic

Which was more fun for LJ

Will didn't have many friends, except for LJ

Even if he was happy and energetic, will was a shy child at school.

Also he didn't play with anyone except jack

The teachers thought that will was weird and called his parents a lot

The teachers would always say stuff like "he doesn't play with any of the other children, and talks alone like if he were talking with someone else especially someone he says is called" jack", is everything OK at home? Have you seen a family psychologist?"

Will was actually taken to a few therapy sessions but he wasn't diagnosed with any mental illnesses. So people just assumed that will just had a really active imagination and that jack was just an imaginary friend

Though will being "weird" just meant he was gonna be an easy target to get bullied

But jack wouldn't let that happen. He wouldn't let some asshole kids ruin will's childhood

Sometimes when the kids would go to the bathroom or just go to the hallway to the drinking fountain, he would scare them by turning the lights on and off

Or he would even follow them home and would make his claw like hands appear from inside their closets or under their beds.

Sometimes he would even grab their legs which would terrify the kids

They soon stopped bothering will because "jack will come and get you!"

So will had a pretty good childhood thanks to Jack sense he would protect him of pretty much everything

When will was in kindergarden they had arts and crafts, he would sometimes draw his mom and his dad together but mostly his drawings were of jack

The teachers thought the parents were irresponsible because lets say that sometimes will's drawing were a bit graphic or creepy and they thought that it was because will watched too much horror movies

Teacher: what are you drawing, William?

Will: it's Jack and I!

Teacher: oh that's nice! But.. What.. What are you doing with Jack?

Will: We're using the stuff inside the guy's belly to make balloon animals! *keeps drawing* jack said that I'll be a killer when I grow up!

Jack was just a proud clown guardian

Jack's prized possession was a drawing that will made of the two of them. It just made him feel really appreciated. Also he encouraged will to play with the kids but will just preferred LJ

LJ: you know that you can play with the other kids right?

Will: i don't want to! I don't like the other kids! I want to be with you, you're my best friend!

It was just fun with will that someday jack would spend days laughing and laughing that sometimes it felt like he would get his colors back

Also will learned to cuss at a young age. And everyone can already guess where he got that from

He was a horror movie fan

Which is why he always said "i want to be like Jason when I grow up!"

"i want to do what leatherface does!"

"I'm going to be just like ghostface!"

But when LJ told him about the pastas, is when he started admiring them

"when I grow up, I'm going to work for slenderman!!"

Also you know in that one comic page where will was at the institution and said "i am the one and only grossman! And I will become the greatest killer the world and the underworld has ever seen!"

Well he had been saying that ever sense he was a kid

Will's mom was a really caring and nice mother but she would soon start getting angry every time will said he wanted to be a killer

Everytime the family got together or the neighbors would ask will what he wanted to be when he grew up, will's mom would always get embarrassed and try to change the answer

Neighbor: what do you want to be when you grow up?

Will: i want to be a killer!

Mom: AN ACTOR!! he wants to be an actor!! He just.. Um... Has seen so many horror movies and well he likes the actors! So he wants to be one!

Will would always get scolded by his mom or get grounded

"William, i told you a million times!!! Stop saying you want to be a killer!!! That doesn't exists! Just choose something normal!!"

William would sometimes just stand or sit in the corner and cry

LJ was always there to comfort him

"Don't cry buddy! Don't listen to that bitch! You will be a killer!"

His mom would get annoyed a lot of will talking about LJ

"You're six!!! You're old enough to know that jack is just an imaginary friend!"

"He's not imaginary!!!!"

And ever sense will knew about the underworld, that's the only place he would talk about.

Will: LJ please take me with you!! I want to go to the under realm! I want to meet jeff the killer! And ben! And masky! And slenderman!

LJ: i can't take you now but i promise i will when you're older!

Will loved his parents but he slowly started disliking them.

His mom always seemed embarrassed of him and his dad was becoming distant

The day that his parents got divorced, he did cry a few days.

He would always ask LJ "did dad leave because of me?"

But jack was there to reassure him it wasn't his fault.

"He's just a deadbeat bitch dad! But i'll be here for you! You don't need him!"

LJ pretty much took a fatherly role to will but never realised it

In will's school he had this "bring your parent to school day" thing and he didn't tell his mom, he wanted LJ to come

LJ didn't have a human disguise like the other pastas sense he was technically an imaginary friend. So he had to consult the rulers of hell to give him a temporary one or grant him that ability

LJ: Come on please! He really wants me to attend! Lend me a fucking hand here!

Paimon: i don't know, your job is just to protect him, you don't NEED to attend something as simple as a school event, he has his mother

LJ: i know but my boy wants ME to come! He doesn't want his damn mother to go!

Yeah, LJ called him "his boy"

He was more of a father than ever even if he didn't admit it

Bael: *sighs* fine, we'll give you a disguise just for today

LJ: yes! Thank you!

And LJ was able to go to will's school, he just presented himself as will's uncle

Will was happier than ever

Jack tried to act normal so he made up lies of his career

"Oh um i'm a....surgeon!"

Being a surgeon was the closest thing to his actual job. I mean, they both take out people's guts right?

Will as a teen (13-17) (basically now)

Will had a bit of an emo phase but not completely. It only appeared whenever he was with his mom

Only when he was with his mom he was distant and always seemed annoyed

He became the typical angsty teen. Started drinking, getting piercings, dying his hair, wear black, eyeliner, etc

Mom: another piercing?!

Will: yeah! Why do you care!?! I'm already an embarrassment to you aren't i?!

They would get into arguments a lot

Especially because of his sexuality

His mom didn't respect will's privacy so he would always check his texts, pictures, etc

"You're talking with girls AND boys?!?!"

Will was bisexual but only LJ knew obviously.

"If my boy likes guys then fucking let him!!! Stupid bitch!!!"

Though no matter who won the argument, it always ended with will crying or just laying on his bed listening to music

William would run away a LOT

Him and LJ had found an abandoned hospital where they would always hang out.

Will could be himself with LJ

His mood and attitude completely changed there.

They would drink beer together, tell jokes, prank random people in the streets, or just do random things

"Look at this street sign i stole!!"

But how did will finally go to the underworld? A family argument in will's 16th birthday

His mom invited everyone to the house.

But will was uninterested

And his mom like always, didn't want to "be embarrassed" by will, so he forced him to wear something else besides black, to take all of his piercings off, and didn't let him dye his hair

Everyone was there eating together

But will, like always, was distant

Uncle: so how are things in school?

Will: everything's fine

Cousin: what college are you going to?

Will: *shrugs*

Will hated his party.

LJ: enjoying your sweet 16? Haha!

Will: i hate it....

LJ frowned seeing him upset in his own birthday, but he gave him something

LJ: hey, i got you a little something! I know you want to be a killer so here!

He gave will the bird mask

Will: ! My...my first killer mask?!

LJ: yep!

Will: holy shit!!! Thank you! *puts it on* i love it!! I look like an actual serial killer!

LJ: i knew you would like it!

Will was super happy with his mask but he was called outside to cut the cake

"Cut your cake bud! Once this party is over, how about we go get some drinks?"

Will smiled "alright!"

He went out to cut his cake.

A few hours later though, everything was ruined

Will had another argument with his mom.

Will: I'M your son!!! Not them!!! Why do you like them more?!

Mom: i do like you will! I just...i just want you to be normal like them! I want you to want a normal career! To do better in school! To dress differently, and like girls!

Will: i DO like girls!!!

Mom: then why were you talking to boys?!?

Everyone just looked at will in shock

Will: b-because.....because i'm fucking bisexual!!! I like boys AND girls!! I'm not gay!!! There's a difference!!!

Mom: but you like boys!! That's not normal!! Nothing of you is normal!! Liking boys isn't normal! And being a killer isn't normal either!!

Will: oh so you hate me for being me?!?! I fucking hate you!!! You make my life a living hell!!!

Will stormed off to his room and locked himself and started sobbing.

Jack saw everything. He would have killed will's mom but everyone was there, plus he wasn't allowed to (a disadvantage of having a deal with the rulers of hell)

Will felt humiliated infront of the whole family

Jack saw how upset he was, so that's when he finally made up his mind

LJ: hey, remember when i told you i was bringing you to the underworld one day?

Will: *wiping away his tears* y-yeah?

LJ: well, that's today!

Will: wait, really?!?

Will immediately sat up his a smile on his face

LJ: yep! How about we leave this place? Let's go to to the underworld! You won't have to worry about your mom anymore! Or that shitty family of yours!

Will: yes!!!!! Yes I'd love that!!!

LJ: then pack your things and lets go!

Will got up from his bed and started packing. And once he was done, he just stood up smiling with his bags in hand

Will: let's go!!

LJ covered will's eyes with his hands.

And before Will knew it, he was in the underworld.

And that's when will finally started a new life.

LJ didn't have a luxurious life to give will but will loved it. Even if they lived in a shitty apartment, will was more happy than ever.

Will was still underage so LJ took care of getting him registered as an official underworld citizen and getting all the paper work done to have full custody of will as his guardian

So he basically adopted will

Will: i can actually be a killer here right?

LJ: yep! There's actually an institution for killers! So I'll start working on enrolling you in!

Will: yes!!!

And that's basically how their lives started

#mine #my post #creepypasta #william grossman #will grossman #Laughing jack

18 notes · View notes

cade-flrt · 3 years

Text

[🪐] WHEN SHE LOVED ME

─────────────────────

pairing. marcia x cherry

desc. where your soulmate’s name appears on your wrist once they’ve fallen in love with you, which only you and your soulmate can see

type. oneshot, song fic, soulmate au, angst

warnings. mention of death, illness

notes. nothing rlly except i hope y’all enjoy :))) based off the song when she loved me also this is a repost bc i deleted the last one by accident LMFAO

“when somebody loved me,”

whistling a soft tune with her eyes closed, marcia sat leaning against the fence of her front porch steps. she was watching the orange and red colours fall down south as the deep blue started to take over, slowly but surely.

it was a routine, at this point. to watch the sun set and to watch the redhead pass by her house each and every time.

sometimes they shared small glances, sometimes even smiles— but sometimes marcia just admired her, for a few seconds without the girl even noticing.

marcia got lost in thought thinking about her, and as if heaven above was listening to her, she heard the familiar footsteps walking by on the concrete pavement.

she quickly raised herself slightly, peering over the edge to get a peak at the girl as if she was some famous celebrity. marcia let out a small ‘tsk’ at herself, she’ll think your a weirdo. but then, she heard the familiar footsteps walking closer.

“hello!” the redhead stood in front of marcia, raising a small hand to wave. “i’ve noticed you looking at me for these past few months?” it was intended to be a statement, marcia could tell, but it came out more like a question.

“well it takes two to tango,” marcia replied simply which left the girl across from her confused. she crossed her arms and her hip was stuck out slightly.

“meaning?”

“you gotta be lookin’ at me too to see me lookin’ at you.”

she thought about it for a while, then a look of finality coming up on her face. “fair enough.” she said simply, going to sit next to marcia on the porch steps.

she felt her heartbeat quicken as the cotton of her sweater brushed against her shoulder, she was sitting so close.

“i’m sherri, but my friends call me cherry—“ sherri, or shall we say cherry, started introducing herself before marcia interrupted her.

“because of your hair? yeah figured,” she shrugged with a half smile on her face. usually, cherry would be mad at someone for interrupting her but instead this time she just let it go and decided not to mention it.

“yeah... you go to my school to something?” cherry asked, raising a singular eyebrow with pursed lips.

marcia let out a small sigh, “probably. but i could just tell, because your hair’s red, cherry’s are red... y’know... 2 + 2 = 4.” she replied playfully. she did know the cherry girl went to her school, marcia always saw her about.

“yeah i get it, no need to get smart...” cherry trailed off as she realised she didn’t know the brunette’s name. marcia probably would’ve answered quicker if she didn’t catch herself staring in her eyes.

marcia soon realised the situation and snapped back to reality, “marcia, the name’s marcia.”

cherry nodded, then standing up. “well marcia, i’ll best get going. my folks will be worried if i don’t get home soon, i’ll see you around yeah?”

“sure.”

“everything was beautiful,”

it was a few weeks later, marcia and cherry had gotten to talking and they soon became quite close friends. marcia enjoyed having cherry around, she always managed to put a smile on her face.

marcia stood, watering the flowers in her backyard as she was listening to the faded music playing from the record player playing from inside her house. she loved her flowers and other variety of plants, they made her happy every time she saw their beauty.

just like cherry, she thought with a small smile as she continued to pour more water without even thinking about it. she got lost in thought thinking about her new friend.

lord, how she hated that word.

“mar?”

marcia’s head perked up at the sound of the soft voice calling from beside her. “oh— cherry, you’re here.”

“yeah, just in time it seems too.” cherry chuckled a little, taking the green watering can from marcia to stop her from over watering the plants; though it seemed to be a little too late for that.

“you wanna go somewhere?” marcia asked, dusting off her hands on the light yellow skirt she was wearing. it protected her legs from the slight spring breeze.

“nah, let’s just sit here. watch the clouds or something cheesy like that.” cherry flashed her a wide grin, walking over slightly to lay down on the grass as marcia followed.

marcia felt the grass poke at her bare arms and back, inhaling the fresh air. “that one looks like a dinosaur.” she pointed at a cloud in the sky.

“hm, i’m not sure. i think it looks more like a car,” cherry disagreed, her head tilting to the side as her blue-green eyes examined the cotton like clouds above.

“and i think you need glasses if that’s what you see!” marcia exclaimed, sitting up on her elbows raising her eyebrows.

cherry giggled, slapping the other girl’s arm playfully. “art is subjective!” she reasoned in a higher pitched voice than usual.

“this ain’t art, this is just clouds?” marcia said, but it came out more as if it was supposed to be a question. she looked down at the redhead beside her, who was just staring up at the sky.

“well, i don’t know. i think you can find art in anythin’ and everything, beauty in anythin’ and everything. like these clouds; they’re beautiful, art-like— i mean look at that one! it looks like it was shaped perfectly by someone.” cherry explained her point of view which left marcia thinking about it for a while, and she ended up with the conclusion that she agreed.

marcia just then noticed that ever since she met cherry, everything was beautiful to her. or she could find the best parts in everyone and everything, guess that’s just cherry’s effect on people, is what she thought.

“every hour that we spent together,”

cherry sang a small song under her breath as she sat in front/underneath of marcia, who was sitting on her own bed. marcia ran her hand through cherry’s hair, then following it up with a brush. “can i do your hair?”

cherry just hummed as a small confirmation. at this sound, marcia continued and started braiding it into a singular braids. “your hair is so soft,” she commented with a small sigh.

“there’s a reason i take so long in showers.” cherry responded simply with a small shrug as she then stretched over to grab her notebook and started drawing something.

“what you drawin’?”

“just a little something.”

“should i be scared?” marcia asked, half joking half serious with a nervous laugh as she grabbed a band and tied the auburn locks at the end.

“no, don’t worry,” cherry shook her head. “plus if it was something bad, i’d be here to protect you.” she turned around to face the brunette and winked.

“wow, not scared no more!” marcia raised her voice a little and even marcia herself couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic or not.

she always felt safe with cherry around, as if nothing could touch her.

only cherry and her against the world.

just her and her best friend.

there was that word again.

friend.

“lives within my heart,”

marcia coughed into the handkerchief that she was holding in her hand. when she moved it away from her mouth, she noticed one thing and one thing only; it was stained with red.

a small gasp left her lips, the sight making her frown. “that can’t be good...”

“what can’t be good?” the same voice she had heard each and every day for the past few months asked.

marcia looked up and quickly crumpled the napkin up and threw it in the trash can, sitting in her room.

she looked down and realised cherry was carrying what looked like a crate filled with a load of varieties of things.

“oh it’s nothing... what’s that for?” marcia pointed to the said crate. she genuinely wanted to know but figured it would also be a good excuse to change the subject.

“oh, i figured we could go to the beach today!” cherry moved on from the past subject, seemingly forgetting it which made tension in marcia lessen.

“sure, sure, i’ll just need to ask my folks—” marcia started but cherry made a ‘mhm’ sound, wagging a finger. cherry placed the crate on the ground, letting her arms rest.

“already asked for you! they said yes, so you don’t really have an option here.” cherry put it simply. she walked over to the bed, dragging marcia along with her as they both fell down onto it. they both sat up straight.

“how funny,” marcia replied nonchalantly but on the inside her heart was beating and her cheeks were visibly heating up.

she never thought anyone would care about her like how cherry cared about her. she never thought anyone would think of her as much as cherry thought of her— or at least, she hoped cherry thought about her as much as she thought about her.

“cherry, you got your soulmate’s name on your wrist yet?” marcia pried, speaking out of nowhere and asking this question out of nowhere.

cherry gulped a little, looking a bit taken aback. she hesitated before answering, “yes..”

marcia’s eyes widened, her jaw dropping as she prodded her on to continue who it was. as cherry didn’t seem to get the memo, she simply grabbed the other girl’s wrist and looked down at the name tattooed in black.

marcia

they both sat there in complete silence for what seemed like centuries. marcia wasn’t quite sure what to feel, and she wasn’t quite sure on what was appropriate to react.

but marcia did know how she herself wanted to react.

marcia pulled cherry into her, connecting their lips almost instantly which made cherry’s eyes widen for a split second. she then relaxed into the kiss as marcia placed her hands on the side of cherry’s face, cherry placing her arms on marcia’s shoulders.

at first, they both didn’t move and just stayed like this but then they both started kissing each other back. their lips fit perfectly together as if they were building pieces that were made for each other, maybe they were. the universe works in funny ways, sometimes.

they both kept kissing each other in silence for what seemed to be hours, not making any other noises other than the smacking of their lips.

so much for a beach trip huh? marcia thought.

“and when she was sad,”

marcia paced back in forth in her room, she was waiting for cherry to get there and was biting her nails anxiously.

“mar? what’s up?” cherry came from behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder. they had made it official only two weeks before, ever since that day marcia kissed her.

“i need to tell you something.”

“cheating on me, already?” cherry joked, but marcia didn’t seem to laugh which made cherry concern. cherry went to sit on the chair that was right next to marcia’s bed. she got more and more anxious the longer marcia put off telling her. “well come on, what is it then?”

marcia quickly but quietly hopped onto her bed, turning to face cherry and shimmied over to the edge of the bed. she held cherry’s hands in hers, almost to comfort her. “i’m sick, sher.”

“oh well that ain’t so bad, why you making such a big fuss over it?” cherry cocked an eyebrow, mistaking the information she just retained as marcia just having the common cold, a fever or worst case scenario; the flu.

“no, no. it ain’t like that,” marcia waved her off, continuing on. “i’m sick, like... badly, gonna be for a long time— hell, maybe even the rest of my life. doc said so, they don’t know what’s wrong with me just yet but they know it ain’t good.”

marcia tried to read the expression on cherry’s face but couldn’t seem to understand. she had no expression, just blankness. it was almost as if she was a blank canvas that was yet to be painted over.

“you gonna die, mar?” cherry finally reacted after the long silence, her voice shaking slightly and she released her hands from marcia’s.

marcia couldn’t tell if she was mad at her, or maybe just shocked. she decided to go with the latter, for her own sanity.

marcia thought about the question long and hard, trying to come up with an exact answer. but even marcia couldn’t answer it, instead she just kept silent.

but silence was a yes to cherry.

suddenly, cherry just stood up and walked out of the room.

“s’ she mad at me?” marcia asked herself in a low whisper. “golly, that’s all i need.”

“i was there to dry her tears,”

marcia had got told by her doctor to refrain from moving about if not necessary and was put on bed rest. she looked different. she was paler, looked almost gray-ish. her nails were brittle, her hair was thinner and there was less of it too.

cherry was there almost every hour of everyday. she made sure of it, and she made sure to look after marcia as best as she could. she would catch marcia up on what was going on at school, since marcia decided to make the decision to drop out.

marcia couldn’t help but feel guilty, as if she was robbing cherry of enjoyment. but cherry swore on the good lord that she didn’t mind, and would rather be there with her girlfriend than out there with randoms.

there’s a word she liked, girlfriend. compared to friend, she liked this word.

but marcia, every time she as much reached out, always noticed something. that her wrist was blank.

whilst cherry’s was stained with (seemingly) black ink that had marcia’s name on it. marcia had nothing on hers, meaning cherry didn’t love her.

“why’s that?” marcia would often find herself wondering.

you’re not good enough.

she likes someone else.

because you can’t do anything but stay in your bed all day.

you’re useless.

all these conclusions often circled around marcia’s mind, but cherry would say that it was a load of garbage and the universe is just playing games.

well that is, if they ever talked about it. they only talked about it once or twice, they didn’t like mentioning it and marcia tried to block it out of her thoughts as well as she could.

“open up!” cherry commanded marcia to do so, which she followed through and opened her mouth slightly. cherry sat beside the bed on the same chair as before, a tray on her lap with a bowl of soup. the spoon filled to the brim with yellow coloured soup found it’s way to marcia’s mouth after some time.

“you know,” marcia started but stopped to finish chewing a piece of chicken, “you don’t gotta feed me, i can do that by myself. i ain’t five.”

cherry just simply rolled her eyes at this statement, “well, yeah. but i like doing it, it makes me happy— don’t you want your girlfriend to be happy?” she gave marcia over exaggerated puppy dog eyes.

“yeah, whatever you want..” marcia gave in, swallowing the piece of chicken. truth is, she had started to lose her sense of taste. as well as her other senses, her sense of hearing was already pretty much gone and don’t even bring up her sense of smell.

god knows what goes next. her sense of touch and sight? well, marcia figured she couldn’t lose her sense of touch just like that but she was rather scared about her sight.

she remembered her doctor saying something about her potentially losing her sight and she felt it coming. her vision was getting worse by the day, becoming more and more blurry.

“you’d still like me if i couldn’t see or anythin’ right?” marcia spoke from out of nowhere, making cherry jump slightly.

cherry looked highly confused and put the bowl of soup and the tray on the ground. she frowned, “yes of course, that won’t change nothing. why?”

“just checkin’.” marcia lied, getting comfortable in her bed. she shifted about slightly, she just couldn’t get comfortable anymore. it was always too warm with the blankets over her, and way too cold without them on her.

her doctor and cherry alike recommended to keep the covers over her, as a lot of the time, marcia couldn’t even tell what her actual body temperature was.

marcia looked over to see cherry painting once more in the small notebook she brought around with her.

marcia was still yet to find out what she was actually painting, but she decided not to bother her.

she quickly found her eyes shutting close almost by herself, a wave of tiredness taking over her mind and body.

but her mind and body suddenly shot awake when she heard quiet sobs coming from beside her. “cherry?”

then, marcia looked up to find cherry sobbing into her hands with the notebook and painting set on the floor. marcia felt very confused on why she was crying. “what’s wrong?”

“it’s just that... you don’t deserve to be locked up here or whatever, it makes me sad y’know..” cherry tried to explain her feelings between sobs, marcia reacted quickly by stretching over to hold cherry in her arms. she hoped she made cherry feel as safe as cherry made her feel.

“it’s alright, don’t worry. it’s not that bad.. anyways, who was i gonna meet out there? the president?” marcia tried to cheer her up with a subtle joke, and it seemed to do the trick. “i got you, and that’s all that matters to me.”

cherry sniffed a few times before nodding, “yeah, i guess you’re right.”

“am never wrong, doll!”

“and when she was happy, so was i,”

“baby, oh baby!” cherry sang along to b-a-b-y by carla thomas, the record that was playing softly in the background. she was dancing about marcia’s room, the doctor had just been, as usual, and just left.

she was trying to cheer up marcia, as she noticed marcia usually felt much more sad when he came around. he wasn’t a bad guy or anything, he just never had any good news for marcia. he had just told them that he and the optician both believe she would be losing her sight much sooner than expected.

“i love to call you baby!” cherry continued to sing. she somehow found a scarf in marcia’s room somewhere and was dancing around with it.

even though marcia felt sad, whenever she saw cherry, she couldn’t help but smile.

it was cheesy, she knows but she doesn’t care.

even though marcia had the gut feeling all the time that cherry truly didn’t love her, she tried to push that deep down into the pits of hell.

“of course she loves me,” marcia mumbled to herself. over the loud music playing, cherry couldn’t hear what she was hearing— and she was far too distracted to notice anyways.

yet, she found herself glancing down at her wrist and winced at the bareness of it. there was still yet no ink to be found, she wondered what she could possibly do.

but then she saw cherry flash that iconic smile, and found herself distracted from all bad thoughts.

“through the summer and the fall,”

“marcia! get up!”

marcia jumped up from the bed at the sound of cherry’s voice shouting through the house. “jesus, cherry. if i wasn’t going to die as it was, i was gonna die of shock.”

“don’t make jokes like that.” cherry stated, in a very serious tone that marcia never heard her use before. she and cherry knew it was true, but they both mutually agreed to not bring it up. marcia was so weak now that she found herself not even being able to get up or get changed on her own, so often it was her mother or cherry helping her.

“i’m driving you!” cherry moved on from the topic quickly, deciding not to talk about it anymore and pretend it never happened.

“to where?”

“does it matter? just around the place. to get fresh air.” cherry answered the question, opening the curtains to get some fresh light in.

“i can get fresh air in here, yknow.” marcia turning to face the window, which cherry was standing right next to as she fixed the curtains.

“a short breeze from the window don’t count,” cherry started looking through her drawers. she pulled out some clothes and threw it towards— or directly at, marcia, (her face to be exact). “get changed.”

“jeez, i’m on it! i’m on it!”

after getting ready, (cherry helping), marcia and cherry were sat in cherry’s car. she was just driving around the place, going through small hills and remote areas. the radio was blasting loudly, and they were quickly driving by the beach.

“we should get a house by the seaside someday, how ‘bout that?” marcia offered, she admired the blues that made up the sea and the tan beiges that made up the sand.

“sure, and if a tsunami come then oh well!” cherry agreed to it, shrugging her shoulders as she tapped the steering wheel along to the beat of the song playing on the radio.

“at least we’ll die in a good house,” marcia shrugged, speaking half seriously and half sarcastically. cherry laughed at her joke, leaning over to give her a kiss on the cheek.

“we had each other, that was all,”

marcia held cherry tight in her arms, as cherry was lying on top of her. she rubbed the back of her head softly, cherry singing soft lullabies.

“i ain’t a baby, you don’t gotta sing no lullaby to me,” marcia chuckled, rolling her eyes as she twirled a part of cherry’s hair with her finger.

“well you’re my baby!” cherry declared, giving a small kiss and marcia fake gagged.

“gross, never say that again!”

“oi, i’m trying to be nice here.” cherry faked a pout, leaning her head into marcia’s chest. she just listened to her heartbeat.

“i’d rather you tell me you want me dead than that.” marcia over exaggerated, which made them both laugh at the statement.

“well then, i want you dead!”

“well, your wish already seems to be granted.” marcia tried to joke along with her again, but cherry just stopped. she was no longer laughing.

“what did i tell you about joking about that?” cherry scolded in the same tone as before, marcia gulped fearfully.

“just she and i together,”

at this point, it had been about 2 years since marcia got sick. marcia couldn’t even leave the bed anymore, she was asleep half of the time and when she was awake she could hardly talk.

and one major thing.

there was still no name on her wrist.

not that she could see it anyways, her vision was completely gone. everything was too blurry snd the world around her was just one big blob.

all she could get out of the world anymore was cherry’s sweet voice beside her, talking about whatever was going on in her life.

“cherry?”

“yes?”

“you love me, right?”

“‘course.”

“you on my wrist yet, then?”

cherry stopped talking, and stopped breathing it seemed like at the question. she knew better than to lie to marcia about something like this, but didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

“don’t lie to me, now..” marcia said, shaking her head as her hands found their way to the sides of her own head in frustration.

“it’s just... i don’t know what’s going on.. maybe the universe is playin’ tricks or somethin’..” cherry tried to reason with marcia, she truly didn’t know what was going on.

“the universe playing tricks? that’s a joke if i ever heard one,” marcia scoffed, which left cherry rather upset. she had never talked like this before, but she decided not to mention it.

“it’s jus—”

“just what? you don’t love me, that’s what!” marcia raised her voice, which almost left cherry in tears at the sound. “you don’t love me! you obviously wanna be with one of those other girls! you don’t want me! you just pity me! well i don’t want your pity!” she shouted, obviously frustrated as her voice cracked at every word.

suddenly, her eyes shut tightly and that made cherry’s heart drop. “marcia!”

“oh calm it, it’s nothin’.” marcia said, her voice croaky as ever. she rolled onto her side so that her back was facing cherry.

cherry was relieved she didn’t just die on her but was still hurt by her words. she stood up and slipped into the bed, wrapping her arms around marcia’s waist.

marcia let out a sigh, she couldn’t stay mad at her much longer. she knew this, she never could stay mad at cherry. well, she never was mad at her in the first place.

“i’m sorry, sher. just frustrated is all,” marcia grumbled, her voice still sounded semi mad but cherry could tell her apology was sincere.

“don’t worry,” was all cherry said in response, planting a small kiss on marcia’s shoulder.

“i love you.” marcia said, she waited for cherry’s response but to no avail. it broke her heart, but she decided to just sleep it off. she’ll be better after some sleep.

“i love you too,” cherry admitted wholeheartedly. but marcia was already in dreamland by that time, so no one but cherry heard it.

if a tree falls in a forest when no one is around, does it really make a sound?

she was being truthful about it— well, she thought she was. cherry took a peek over marcia’s shoulder, to just see the blank wrist.

then it hit cherry. she was afraid of loving someone, and she afraid they were just going to leave her.

not marcia, though.

marcia would never leave me, is what cherry declared.

cherry woke marcia awake, “psst, marcia,” she whispered and just got a hum in response.

“i’m gonna go, okay? bye!” cherry told her in the same cheerful tone and stars yes to get out of the bed.

“not now... don’t say goodbye yet... maybe tomorrow...” marcia replied simply, grabbing cherry to stop her and dragging her back to her original position.

“alright, i’ll say goodbye tomorrow.” cherry agreed with a small smile, not knowing quite what she meant and she happily went to sleep next to marcia.

“like it was meant to be,”

it was the next day, after last night. and cherry had woke up, went back to her house and already walked back to marcia’s.

she walked up to marcia’s room, going to sit in her usual position in marcia’s room.

the chair next to the bed.

“hey mar, wake up.” she shook marcia awake, and even though it took a few times, she awoke eventually.

“oh hey, cherry,” marcia replied. her voice was even more raspy in the morning and cherry loved it. it was the only reason marcia spoke anymore, as speaking put marcia in even more pain but she never told cherry that.

they both sat there, talking about whatever (cherry done most of the talking). soon enough, cherry had pieces of toast and was feeding them to marcia.

“oh cherry, y’know that painting you started a few years back?” marcia recalled, waving her finger around for emphasis.

“yeah?” cherry said her words with a slight laugh, she found it hard to believe she could remember that but couldn’t even remember what she ate of lunch yesterday.

“what was that of?”

“oh just the clouds, y’know the one that we saw that one day? turns out it does look more like a dinosaur!” cherry exclaimed, clasping her hands together as all the pieces of toast were gone.

“told you i was always right,” marcia gave a small shrug as a playful grin was plastered on her face. “it’s a shame i never got to see it— your painting, i mean. i used to love your paintings, well i still do. i just love everything you do, to be honest. i just love you!”

cherry stayed silent at that, and instead her eyes darted towards marcia’s wrist which was still blank.

“my wrist is still bare, ain’t it?”

“how’d y’know i was looking at it?” cherry’s eyes widened and she sat back a little.

“could just tell,” marcia muttered, “listen, doll. don’t get too... hung up about it... i overreacted last night, it ain’t all that big of a deal.” marcia shifted around in her bed and laid down, as she started to cough, “just know... i... i love you... alright?” she told her in between coughs.

cherry started to panic, but kept it to herself, it wasn’t until marcia stopped responding to the calls of her name did cherry realise. wasn’t until cherry realised marcia was whiter than ever, her breaths stopping and her chest stopped rising did cherry realise.

she died.

marcia died.

marcia, as in cherry’s marcia, died.

she left.

just like the rest.

but no, she didn’t leave. she’s still here, just maybe not physically.

cherry’s chest tightened and her whole body followed, loud sobs was all that came from her as she sobbed over her girlfriend’s dead body.

marcia had died.

and she knew what she meant now by ‘say goodbye tomorrow’, she knew she was going to die.

marcia knew herself she was going to die imminently, but instead of telling anyone or getting help. she decided to spend her last few hours with her, cherry.

cherry didn’t know what to feel, and then it hit her.

marcia died thinking cherry didn’t love her.

thinking no one loved her.

all because of some stupid mark on the wrist.

“it’s stupid! it’s all so stu—” cherry started screaming by now, the tears rushing down her face but then something caught her eye.

cherry

stained right on the love her life’s wrist.

then it all made sense.

the feeling of true love was all too unfamiliar to cherry, and feeling like this when they left you was new to her.

she then realised, because she had been scared to love marcia incase she left her... now that she was gone, she had nothing to lose. she wasn’t scared, she had nothing to be scared of.

“i love you,” cherry confessed. this time, she really did mean it.

but one again, she was too late. no one... no one but herself heard it.

if a tree falls when no one else is around, does it make a sound?

she loved marcia.

but marcia would never know.

and never will know.

all because cherry valance was scared to love.

“when she loved me.”

#the outsiders #the outsiders cherry #cherry valance #the outsiders marcia #the outsiders headcanons #the outsiders imagines #the outsiders oneshot #marcia x cherry

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rahabs · 3 years

Text

2020 creator wrap: favourite works 🖤

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favourite works that you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works.

tagged by @howevernot , who is an absolute sweetheart 🖤 Thank you! I have created many, many works this year, and have written and created more than I have since... 2016, I believe, or thereabouts. It has been an incredibly year for me from a creator standpoint and I have met so many wonderful new people as I dipped my wide duck feet into the Northwest Passage that is The Terror, all of whom made the absolute mess that was 2020 not only bearable but exciting and fun at times. Thank you all so much! Words cannot even express my gratitude.

1. the paths of glory lead but to the grave (fanfiction, rated M; the terror; joplittle, 28k; art masterpost)

This fic was my pinch-hit for the Terror Big Bang this year, and marked the first time I’d ever had the privilege of participating in a Big Bang in all my years of writing fanfiction. I had missed the initial sign-ups because I was in the middle of my 1L exams when it was announced, and was very disappointed. Imagine my surprise and happiness when I was contacted in what I believe was late July, asking if I would be interested in pinch-hitting! I agreed, was paired with a phenomenal artist, and somehow by the grace of all that is holy managed to write just under 30k of joplittle angst in under a month. It’s not my most popular piece (probably one of my least popular pieces by kudos and comments, if not the least), but it is the one I am most proud of all the same.

In 1851, a small fleet under the command of Captain Horatio Thomas Austin located the survivors of the ill-fated Franklin Expedition and brought twenty-some corpse-like figures back to England. Given temporary leave to recuperate in the countryside following their ordeal, Edward Little and Thomas Jopson attempt to reconcile the past with the present and the fact that not all the ice was left behind in the Arctic.

Or, nearly 30k of survivor's guilt, intimacy, the softness and tragedy of the human connection, and learning to forgive.

“The men on Beechey,” Captain William Penney had asked him tentatively before they’d left King William Island, the two brigs under his command floating beyond Resolute’s sturdy decks, “who were they?”

Edward had thought back to those graves, dug deliberately into the frozen ground and lovingly, mournfully filled and marked; had thought about the care shown those young men, whom they had all thought to have the devil’s own luck at the time. He’d then thought of another man, buried alone in a wild and savage land with nothing to mark his resting place; of weathered bones and lonely stones, and the ghost of a man who had only ever wanted to be seen consigned to an anonymous oblivion.

He never asked what it was that William Penney had seen in his face; had never asked what had made Alexander Stewart take the smallest of steps back as Edward’d said, simply:

“The lucky ones.”

2. labefaction (fanfiction, rated M; the terror; joplittle, 5k+)

This was me wanting to put Thomas Jopson in a dress and have Edward Little slide his hands up his skirts, but it sort of turned into a surreal little piece set during Fitzjames’ Carnivale in a universe where Crozier recovered early enough for him and Thomas to decide to attend. Featuring Fitzjames also in the dress canon denied us, and yes, Edward’s hands up Thomas’ skirts :’) A fun little romp.

In the surreal realm of Fitzjames' Carnivale, Edward Little and Thomas Jopson share a dance.

Please, Thomas thought wildly, his own hands reaching out to grip the front of Edward’s vest and haul him forward, pressing as close as he could, desperate for the contact, the heat. It was everything he had built up in his head, and yet it was nothing like that at all, and he wondered for a brief moment if it was even real, or if it was just another illusion of this place.

A gust of wind from the outside was like a bucket of cold water, but instead of deterring him, it only made Thomas more determined for contact, for the heat and warmth of the man in front of him, who was pushing him back, back, until his spine connected with one of the wooden supports and Thomas broke the kiss with a gasp, quickly swallowed. There was a hand at his hip, at his skirts, sliding up against the thigh of the leg he’d hooked around Little’s waist, cold against his flushed skin. The chill was delicious, and he craved more, just like he craved more of Edward’s gaze upon him, only him. You’ve been seen, he thought, no, no.

Yes.

3. we are gone (playlist, spotify; the terror; surreal; 2h+)

The playlist I originally made while writing my TBB fic (linked above). I was asked to post it, and so I did after making a quick album cover for it. I am ridiculously proud of it, and was surprised by the positive feedback it received! My personal favourite tracks include the opening track (Traust, by Heilung) and Myrkr, by Heldom. Also ft. a couple songs by The Amazing Devil.

4. the ruin within (fanfiction, rated E; the terror; joplittle, 9k+)

This was my fic for the Joplittle Fall Fic Exchange, my first fic exchange in almost five years! Because of how my pinch-hit for the TBB played out time-wise, I didn’t get to start on this one until a week before it was due, and I am honestly still very pleased with the results! I wrote it for someone who wrote one of my all-time favourite joplittle fics, too, so that was an extra treat for me!

As preparations for Fitzjames' Carnivàle get underway, Edward Little offers to teach Thomas the quadrille. Thomas just hopes he can survive the lieutenant's hands on him with his control intact and his secrets in check.

“And if I did? If I wished it? Alone, here, with you?”

There was that thing in Little’s face again, in the set of those cupid’s bow lips, swimming just below a surface that was not nearly as blank as most people believed, and Thomas, his own attentions sharp as a blade, made reckless by God only knew, pressed himself that much closer until—

A flicker. A crack in the wall, in the foundation, in Little’s eyes, which widened just the slightest bit as they caught on his hands resting against Thomas’ waist, on Thomas’ mouth, and Thomas, never as good a man as he should have been and selfish besides, rested his hands on Little’s broad shoulders, took the sharp blade of want in his own chest, and plunged it into Little’s own without hesitation and without mercy.

“Oh, Lieutenant,” he whispered, leaning up, his mouth by Little’s ear as the man all but trembled in his arms, “I’m not that kind of girl.”

5. this colourless light (fanfiction, rated E; the terror; joplittle, nearly 5k)

This was just something I could not get out of my head, and that I wrote for fun. It was, as I stated in the fic’s notes, entirely self-indulgent. Entirely. I just wanted some softness and tenderness, and so I gave it to myself, as I had been having a very bad week. I really do like how it came out!

Thomas Jopson takes care of a frozen Edward Little, and an Arctic whiskey caper ends tenderly.

“My love, my own love,” Thomas was whispering, the words only half-spoken as Edward continued to kiss him, still shuddering, still shaking, the wool blanket heavy where it was still draped over them. Edward slipped his hands up that trembling stomach, through the mess left there, a hot claim that he smeared over soft skin.

Honourary mention also goes to would you gain the tender creature, which I wrote in response to a prompt and which remains a personal favourite of mine, but that has featured in lists before so I figured I would spotlight some newer fics!

I am tagging @allegoriesinmediasres, @jamesclarkross, @rosewaterhag, @proudspires, @derry-rain, @thekenobee, @caravaggiosbrushes, @longstoryshortikilledhim, @distantsnows, @judiejodia, and any friends/mutuals/non-mutuals who see this and wish to participate, because I always forget to tag a couple of people despite my best efforts 🖤

#long post #text #chey.txt #tag games #2020 in review #joplittle

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youarerageandserenity · 4 years

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Borderlands Foam Wig Tutorial (Tyreen)

I was chatting with the lovely @void-noises-exe and it eventually circled around to offering to make a wig tutorial because you don’t see too terribly many, just thought I’d throw mine out ( especially because It was next to impossible to find good references of a foam version of Ty’s hair.) So this will be for foam wigs in general but Tyreen’s hair specifically (with a few pics of my Fiona wig from tales as well because they better accentuate my points) I didn’t plan on making this so I am missing a few pictures that might be helpful but here we go. This will not be short.

Supplies:

-Craft foam (ideally, in small and XL sheets, but you can make do with whatever size you have available)

- Spray paint as close to the BASE color of the wig you need (for Ty I used white, for Fiona a medium brown) ideally in a matte.

- a FUCKLOAD of paints (i use cheap acrylics from the craft store ) in Black, and then several shades of the colors in the hair. (For Fiona i used i think four browns? Tyreens shaved sides have three browns, and the top had an additional yellow-brown i mixed) try to vary them in darkness levels to add depth.

- multiple paint brushes. I like to use around four or five of varying sizes and hardness levels.

- plenty Hot glue, and a hot glue gun (note: you COULD use other typres of adhesive, I like hot glue because its got great hold on foam, it sets FAST and worst case scenario I can take a hair dryer to it and melt it again if I need something to be undone.)

- scissors

- duct tape

-plastic wrap

-sharpie

-wig head

-Plenty of reference images

(optional supplies include a rotary cutter and or exacto-knife [trust me, itll make your life so much easier] , and patience. )

SO to start

1) Put your hair in a wig cap or however you plan on wearing it under your wig. Wrap your whole hair bit of your head in plastic wrap. Make sure you get over your ears and the baby hairs on your neck if you want to keep them.

2) Wrap all the plastic covered bits in duct tape. This is easier for a friend to do on you, but not impossible to do alone, just make sure to get it all. It should be snug. Make sure you get as far down the back of your neck and down your sideburn area as you can. (Most characters have a bit of fringe hanging down in the back so its not the BIGGEST concern for them, but Ty’s got nada so you’re gonna want some good coverage for your hair line.)

3) Take your sharpie and draw an outline of where your ear is, and along the hairline you’d like your wig to have. For short haired characters you dont want to cut too far behind the ear or your hair will peek out, so I like to underestimate how big my ear is and adjust as needed later. Dont make your wig hairline too high either, particularly if you’re making a wig for a character who has no fringe in the front.

4) Take that bad boy off and cut along your outlines. Try it on again, adjust lines as needed. rinse and repeat.

5) once you reach a semi-accurate mold of your head, you’re gonna wanna take it off and cut AT LEAST 4 (front, back, and both sides (I like to do 8, it will lay flatter) sections,coming to a point at the crown of your head. It should come out looking something like this. NOTE : they’re all still connected in the middle. If you’re doing 8, cut each of these 4 in half. )

6) Lay out your foam beneath this. If you dont have a piece of foam big enough to trace this bad boy onto, what I do is literally just break out the hot glue gun a bit early, glue a couple pieces together along the edges, until i get a nice big connected surface. Trace this guy on there as accurately as you can, cut it out, and then glue all your sides together. Now you should have a foam version of your duct tape hat.

(Dont worry if the sides wont stay down, if you’re doing a character like Ty where thats an issue, we’ll get to that part later. )

7) (Optional but VERY helpful) Grab your wig head, and your duct tape head. Tape the duct tape back together and put something in it to make it hold shape, I use poly-fil. Tape the head-form to the wig head, and put your little foam cap on top of that.

8) Time to get creative. You’re gonna want to start from the bottom layers first. For Tyreen that’s the long fringe and her undercut. The strategy I decided on was to take a few large rectangular strips of foam, and lay them out everywhere I wanted the undercut to be and cut along the edges to match the hairline. I don’t have a picture of this exact point in the process but I have one from the beginning of the next step. Really the only thing to note at this point is obviously, your head is round and rectangles are not, for the curves where it sticks up along the edges, cut down where it sticks up in a little triangle and hot glue the ends together (you can sort of see this at the top left in the picture below). Dont worry about seams at this point, we’ll hide them later.

9) This was not the case for Fiona who has very flat hair ( especially because of her hat) but Tyreen has a lot of volume especially towards the front of her head. For hair pieces that need volume, such as the ones that are glued down here, cut two of the exact same foam piece (i like to do them in little waves like the side, but also just a little arch is good for volume without flips such as the front piece) and glue the matching edges together. Make sure the hair triangle is facing the way youd like it to! Then Flatten out the top as much as you can, the bottom will keep the volume and the top ill be able to be covered by “2D” hair pieces.

(NOTE: Honestly, it’s REALLY difficult to end up with an exact copy of cannon, and I ALLLLWAYS get carried away with the spikes. In the end, go by your reference images, but also follow your heart. Cosplay is half about having fun creating. )

10) Once youve started gluing, make sure to keep in mind where your part is (if you have one). For Fiona i didn’t trust myself so I glued in the hair at the part BEFORE anything, and left them ready to be glued down while I worked my way up to them.

NOTE: All the hair at the parts of BOTH wigs is a single piece of foam.You want a nice wide base whenever possible to cover up the seams of all of the other edges of the hair. For your part, Carefully glue along the very end of your strip of foam and stick it down. It will be the last piece to be glueddown on top of everything else to make it look nice and clean.

11) Slowly start working your way around the head, gluing down first anything that will need to be covered (3D pieces and bottom pieces) before getting towards the top where youll need to be more strategic about what is going down and what can cover your edges. I’d definitely recommend mixing 2D and 3D pieces if that’s something you want to experiment with, otherwise, such as in the pic below, it is possible to get volume from a 2D piece, simply by gluing it in a way where it wont lie flat against the head.

12) in the picture above you can also catch a glimpse of Ty’s cow lick. Those are done exactly the same as our 3D pieces from before, only you trace the edges of the open end, and should end up with a triangular third side to be glued in, then just glue along the edges just like the hair part.

13) Dont feel you have to overdo how many pieces the hair has, remember you may also paint in pieces and designs when it comes to the line-art!

14) Once you’ve added everything from the bottom that you’d like to, go ahead and glue down your hair-part.

15) So, obviously, I wasn’t a big fan of Tyreen’s undercut just being flat foam across half my head. So I took an exacto to it for what felt like years. REALLY over-do it on the edges, it’ll get rid of that harsh foam line and give it a little more of a natural blend. Also pay special attention to all of your seams in the foam. The more distressing there is there, the less youll be able to spot lines later.

16) So once you have the overall structure of your wig and you’re thinking you might be happy with this, its spray paint time. (I’d recommend disposable gloves for this, you’re gonna need to maneuver it every which way to get the pain in every cranny and that paint does NOT like to come off easy.) Theres really not much advice I can offer on it, just be patient, and do a couple layers, spray it from every angle and let it dry completely before moving on to the next step unless youre as impatient as I am and dont mind ruining a few paintbrushes.

17) So, like the Fiona pic a few back or this one here, you should have a fairly flat evenly painted foam sculpture. Now is around the time you might start seeing all the inaccuracies in what you’ve made. You gotta push past that it’ll look great I promise. Time to get really creative.

18) for Ty I started by painting the buzzed bits in a base brown, and started in on the line art and her roots while i waited for it to dry before going in with two more colors of brown for depth.

19) For her roots I ended up using three colors. Black at the very bottom (which blends into the line art) a dark brown that matches more or less the buzz, and then after the fact, a custom yellowed-brown to blend better into the white and give us a little more texture. For this and the rest of the cel-shading in the hair, dab your brush before painting and try to mostly stick to light strokes in one direction (OR: if you have one, a particularly hard bristled paint brush does wonders for this) you don’t want the ends of your strokes to be too defined.

20) Outline the edges of the hair and all prominent pieces, particularly the hot-glue seams, itll make them less noticable. (dont forget the little animation squiggles for Ty’s sides) and beyond that-- honestly, black out to your hearts content. These pics are from when I thought I’d finished. I really felt I’d over detailed. The next day I looked at a picture and realized there is always WAY more texture and outlining than I feel like I see. Honestly, you cant really over-do it, especially with fine solid black lines.

21) The next day I came back at it with the yellowed-brown and LOTS more solid black lines. (Currently in the process of taming down where I got too excessive with the spikes on the side)

22) Once it’s all dried, time to try on. Here’s where we address if you have a short haired character, and the edges of your wig just wont stay down -- invest in a little theatrical grade spirit gum. It’s not too terribly expensive, and unfortunately, I tried the cheaper halloween makeup kind, and it just wont hold how you need it too (and please for my sake, also make sure you get spirit gum remover) I took some hair gel (you could also use elmers glue) just to glue up as much of my hair as I could on the sides and the back of my neck to keep them from the spirit gum, and dabbed it along all of the prominent edges of the wig (namely, side and back) wait for it to get a little tacky and stick that MF-er down good.

Aaaaand Voila???

Let me know if I missed any steps? Its fairly simple, once you get going -- just time consuming.

#borderlands cosplay #borderlands #bl3 #tyreen calypso #cosplay tutorial #borderlands 3 #my cosplays

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kingreywrites · 4 years

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Make my messes matter - Chapter 7 - Kissing

Fandom: Tangled

Word Count: 1481

Summary: A series of seven ficlets focused on Rapunzel learning to navigate life in different ways after living eighteen years in a tower, with Gothel as a mother.

1. Touching - 2. Arguing - 3. Learning - 4. Sleeping - 5. Setting Boundaries - 6. Crying - 7. Kissing

Note: The set is now complete!! I hope you enjoyed reading these little ficlets! Rapunzel is an incredible character, she deserves love ;)

Read on ao3

The one thing that drastically changed for Rapunzel when she left her tower, was kissing, and kisses in general. She had next to no frame of reference for it - Gothel did kiss her head from time to time, but that sensation was always faint and muffled by her hair, because that was what her mother truly loved. Rapunzel knew about romantic kisses; she had read about them long ago, when fairy tales weren't yet banned from her library but, according to her mother, those never happened, because everyone outside was a thug and a ruffian.

In any case, Rapunzel never had too many feelings about kissing. She never really thought of it, never really hoped for it, not like she dreamt of seeing the lanterns. She knew about kissing, but she didn't care about it.

It changed, of course, when she met Eugene. A lot of changes began with him.

Their first kiss was a maelstrom. She kept pressing her lips against his, nearly faint with relief as she felt him move under her, heart beating faster than it ever did and stars bursting under her eyelids and lighting up her soul. That kiss was burning, unbridled, full of so many emotions that her body might have just exploded from it, and it felt like it ended too soon while lasting for infinity - she couldn't ask for a better first kiss.

What she hadn't expected to like just as much, if not more, were all the following kisses. The ones that weren't explosive, that didn't make her heart feel like it could burst - the kisses that had no reason to be, but still were anyway, because Eugene loved her and she loved him.

Good morning kisses were now a part of Rapunzel's life. Eugene had been scared, at first, to be too affectionate in front of her parents so everyday, without fail, he would find her before breakfast and kiss her hello sweetly. She'd say "good morning" and he'd say "it is now", or some other cheesy line that always made her heart flutter, and her lips would tingle because they missed his already. It was routine and it was love, wrapped into a simple gesture of affection.

As time passed, good morning kisses evolved too - but they always, always made sure to have one. Her favourite morning kisses were definitely those that happened when they woke up together, in the same bed. Sometimes, Eugene would keep his eyes closed longer than necessary as he hugged her closer, still groggy, seeking her mouth blindly. Sometimes, he would still be asleep and she would be the one peppering him with kisses until he scrunched his nose adorably and woke up. Sometimes, those morning kisses went on longer, became deeper, as one of them decided that they weren't going out of bed yet.

Those were good mornings.

There were other kinds of kisses Rapunzel enjoyed. Some were stolen, little breaks in her schedule between two activities, hidden from view, quick and punctuated by muffled giggles. It reminded her of that first day in Corona, when they evaded the guards, smiling and happy as they shared the secrecy - her cheeks warmed every time Eugene stealthily pulled her into a nook of the castle. However, he wasn't the sole culprit of the stolen kisses, and as often as he had interrupted her princess duties, she now enjoyed borrowing the Captain of the Guard during training.

"Last time we did that," Eugene whispered once between two breaths, "Stan and Pete thought someone kidnapped me."

"Mmh," Rapunzel nodded, her hands playing with the collar of his uniform, enjoying how much darker his cheeks got when they kissed. "Well I ought to rescue you, then."

Eugene had tried to protest that it wasn't what he meant, but he lost his focus when she pulled him down to her lips. Stolen kisses were fun.

(Pete and Stan thinking that the Queen disappeared was less fun to solve, but Rapunzel had no regrets.)

Sometimes, the kisses were distracted - an automatic gesture of affection as they went on with their days. Rapunzel loved those because, for her, it meant that no matter what was happening, she was always a thought in Eugene's mind. Distracted kisses happened all the time, often unconsciously, but she always felt happier thanks to them.

Eugene could be entering a room, arguing loudly with Lance about some thing or another, and he would still take the time to kiss her cheek quickly, before he kept on bickering. Or he would be reading a book, and give her a quick peck on her lips when she sat beside him. Little gestures, little spots of tenderness during the day, that didn't make her feel like her heart might just burst, but which meant the world to her nonetheless.

Sometimes, kisses were an apology - though they never replaced a real, communicated one. But kisses could be the beginning of an apology, a way to say "sorry, I will talk to you later, I still love you". They were a promise that they could solve everything together, because they were each other's dream. They could also be a confession that, even if they couldn't do anything to ease the pain, they would support each other no matter what. It happened a lot more than Rapunzel ever wished, especially during Cassandra's betrayal, but she loved them anyway - because they gave her strength when she was hurt.

She only hoped that Eugene felt the same, when the role were reversed. When he was the one who needed help he couldn't ask for, and when she was the one who saw through him right away, and was ready to give him everything he wanted.

There were the kisses while sick, also. When she was the one with a fever, she would always tell Eugene not to do it, because she didn't want to get him sick too - and he did it anyway. When it was Eugene that was ill, the roles were reversed, and she suddenly understood why he couldn't stop himself.

"Stop kissing me," Eugene mumbled for the umpteenth time, burrowing deeper into the covers, "you'll catch my cold."

"I'm taking your temperature," Rapunzel explained confidently, brushing his hair out of his still flushed face.

"With your lips? Doesn't sound reliable."

"Well, it is," she smiled, and kissed his nose to make her point. He glared at her but she could see he wanted to smile, so she couldn't regret it.

(Not even when she started coughing two days later.)

Thus, kisses were an integral part of her life and, while she hadn't particularly ached for them when she was in her tower, Rapunzel couldn't imagine living without them now. Eugene never kissed her hair like Gothel did - he was always seeking the warmth of her skin, always trying to make her smile or blush or laugh. He enjoyed using his height to kiss her forehead, and she enjoyed returning the favor when he laid down beside her. He would kiss her hand, sometimes, telling her how much he admired her art. And in each and every of his kisses, from the quick and stolen ones to the slow and meaningful ones, there was a common variable: his undying love for her.

In truth, she didn't relearn to kiss when she left her tower - she simply learnt it, and discovered affection through the grand and the little gestures. And everything Eugene gave her, she was more than eager to give him in return.

She had, however, a favourite kind of kisses. Yes, her, who had never settled on a favourite colour because they were all beautiful in her eyes - she had a favourite kind of kisses, and she knew it was Eugene's too.

"Hey," she whispered softly as she entered the nursery.

"Hey," Eugene answered, turning toward her, one of the twins asleep in his arms. Here, in the middle of the night, with his hair an absolute mess and dark circles under his eyes as he bounced their daughter gently, he had never been more beautiful.

Rapunzel padded silently toward the crib, looking at their son who was already a deeper sleeper than his sister, and felt herself melt at the sight once again. Then, she went to her husband and, carefully, he put their daughter in her arms.

She was so warm and tiny and soft, Rapunzel could have cried right here and then. Going by Eugene's shining eyes, it was a shared sentiment.

Gently, Rapunzel kissed her daughter's forehead, careful not to wake her up again. Then, she put her down into her crib, and felt Eugene's warm hand settling on her back.

Those were her favourite kisses. And she simply knew that, no matter what happened, no matter their pasts and their upbringings, her and Eugene would make the best parents one could hope for - because they strove to be.

#tangled #Rapunzel #Eugene Fitzherbert #tangled the series #new dream

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bobbystompy · 3 years

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91 Quotes I Enjoyed From 2020

Below are my favorite quotes from 2020. Though most occurred throughout the year, some took place before but were encountered during.

1) “You don’t have to be new to make new.” - Rick Rubin

2) “He put the beat on and go to sleep then wake up with a verse.” - The Lox

3) “Every opinion is bad.” - Blink-155

(via Twitter)

5) “At the start of every disaster movie, there’s a scientist being ignored.”

6) “Be brave enough to suck at something new.”

7) “Comedy is the only job you can have where you can use everything you know” - Robin Williams via Dave Chappelle

8) “What’s the worst swear word where you live?” - Josiah Hughes

9) “Cookies are a really great way to get everybody to like you for a short period of time” - YSAC

10) “The worst dancer at a wedding is the one who’s not dancing.” - John Mulaney

11) “I never saw the end of the tunnel. I only saw myself running out of one." - Kobe Bryant

12) "A good movie begins as you're walking out of the theater" - Ethan Hawke

13) “When I was young and starting in cinema, there was a saying that I carved deep into my heart which is, 'The most personal is the most creative.’ That quote was from our great Martin Scorsese.” - Bong Joon-ho

14) “Run to the rescue with love, and peace will follow” - River Phoenix via Joaquin Phoenix

15) “Thank you -- I will drink until next morning.” - Bong Joon-ho

16) “Men will bury their emotions for decades and then take it all out on children tubing while they drive the boat.” - @krauter_

17) “They help you with the dumb face stuff, but they don’t tell you how to fix it” - Adam (Nate’s friend), on having older sisters

18) “We all had our connections, but it’s not the details themselves that matter, it’s the feeling behind them. There are a million coming-of-age tales. Lady Bird’s secret sauce is how deeply its creator gave a shit. The older I get, the less I care about anything but the sense of a filmmaker’s personal connection to the material. It doesn’t matter what it’s about, what genre it is, or whether it’s genre at all. I only really care that it feels like something the filmmaker had to tell me, and that it was that filmmaker in particular who had to tell it. It has to answer the ‘why are you telling me this’ question, and not just why are you telling me, but why are you telling me.

Lady Bird is a movie that feels like only Greta Gerwig could’ve made. And it’s only because it’s so specific to her that it can be so meaningful to so many people.” - Vince Mancini

19) "I have cast some lonely votes, fought some lonely fights, mounted some lonely campaigns. But I do not feel lonely now.” - Bernie Sanders

20) “Ever hear a Beatles song you haven’t heard before?”

21) “Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you're allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It's like killing yourself, and then you're reborn. I guess I've lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now.” - Charles Bukowski

22) “You shouldn’t have to hear a band to know if they’re good or not” - Josiah Hughes

23) “I was raised by OGs. Some of you were raised by IG. I understand.” - Ice-T

* * *

[Here is where I note the line of demarcation that was the COVID-19 pandemic hitting the US, pushed forward by Tom Hanks’ announcement, the NBA and NCAA shutting down, and, then, the nation itself.]

* * *

24) “There are decades where nothing happens, and there are weeks where decades happen.” - Vladimir Lenin

25) "Taken together, this is a massive failure in leadership that stems from a massive defect in character. Trump is such a habitual liar that he is incapable of being honest, even when being honest would serve his interests. He is so impulsive, shortsighted, and undisciplined that he is unable to plan or even think beyond the moment. He is such a divisive and polarizing figure that he long ago lost the ability to unite the nation under any circumstances and for any cause. And he is so narcissistic and unreflective that he is completely incapable of learning from his mistakes. The president’s disordered personality makes him as ill-equipped to deal with a crisis as any president has ever been. With few exceptions, what Trump has said is not just useless; it is downright injurious." - Peter Wehner

26) "Epidemics have a way of revealing underlying truths about the societies they impact." - Anne Applebaum

27) “A funny thing about quarantining is hearing your partner in full work mode for the first time. Like, I’m married to a ‘let’s circle back’ guy — who knew?” - Laura Norkin

28)

(Jojo Rabbit)

29) “The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. - Deadwood: The Movie

30) “All bleeding stops eventually.” - Deadwood: The Movie

31) “Our Father, which art in heaven… / Let him fucking stay there” - Deadwood: The Movie

32) “It’s like a power outage, but we still have power” - Ryen Russillo, on the pandemic

33) “Whenever Sox baseball returns, it’ll be weird to not have Farmer on the call any more. The relationship between a fan and longtime announcer is always built in the little moments. One afternoon, he’s the soundtrack as you clean the garage. On another night, he’s your bookmark for the game as you stand in line for churros or walk down the ramps at Sox Park to try for better seats in the 100 level. A voice like Farmer’s becomes so familiar that you only really notice when it’s no longer there.” - Kevin Kaduk, on the passing of Ed Farmer

34)

(via Twitter)

35) “In my songs, I try to look through someone else’s eyes, and I want to give the audience a feeling more than a message” - John Prine

36) “Observe everything. Admire nothing.” - Generation Kill

37) “Trump, by that definition, has always been a wartime president -- always willing to sacrifice people he doesn’t know to things he only sort of cares about” - David Roth

38) "Whenever they speak Michael Jordan, they should speak Scottie Pippen." - Michael Jordan

39) "Fiction is a bridge to the truth that journalism can't reach." - Hunter S. Thompson

40) “Airlines sending me “we’re in this together” emails. When my suitcase was 52 pounds I was on my own.” - Mike Dentale

41) “Sometimes you can be the worst source of your own story” - Ryen Russillo

42) “Family is not necessarily blood, but instead who you would bleed for.”

43)

(via Twitter)

44) "This is the deal that Jordan made, knowingly or unknowingly — that he would trade everything he had for everything he wanted. And then, when he won all those things, he found that he had nothing but that.” - David Roth

45) “I’m brand loyal, but the brand doesn’t matter” - Caitie Miller, on why she doesn’t like generic peanut butter

46) “NOBODY shitposts Gene Hackman!!” - Mark Dehlinger

47) “When a man concludes that any stick is good enough to beat his foe with—that is when he picks up a boomerang.” - G.K. Chesterton

48) “You can be appalled forever, but shocked only once.” - Jeff Weiss, on early Eminem

49) “Whether I’m pessimistic or optimistic, the fight’s the same” - David Simon

50) “Freedom can never be completely won, but it can be lost.” - Bernard Simon

51) “Racism in America is like dust in the air. It seems invisible — even if you’re choking on it — until you let the sun in. Then you see it’s everywhere. As long as we keep shining that light, we have a chance of cleaning it wherever it lands.” -Kareem Abdul Jabbar

52) “In a racist society, it is not enough to be non-racist -- we must be anti-racist.” - Angela Davis

53) “Start as close to the end as possible” - Kurt Vonnegut, on creative writing

54) “You can’t stay woke all the time — that’s insomnia.” - Dr. Cornel West

55) “No, I get it. I’ve dated a lot of Geminis.”

56) “The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.” - John Krakauer, Into The Wild (via Tyler Keller)

57) "I couldn't show them my For You because it's pretty much just lesbian stuff and depression memes" - Maggie Loesch, on showing TikTok to her coworkers

58) "It's 1 a.m. in Slovakia and I've already had one bottle of wine and I don't know how long this press conference will go, so good luck to me." - Marian Hossa, following his NHL Hall of Fame announcement

59) “All I want in life is to go on an Anguilla group trip” - Mandy Gilkes

60) “You miss old friends when you don’t see them, but you miss them more when you do.” - Chuck Klosterman

61) “The only way to appreciate the present is to pretend it’s already the past.” - Chuck Klosterman

62) Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth Until they've faded, but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back At photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked

(”Everybody's Free [To Wear Sunscreen]”)

Second time that essay’s been quoted on this list.

64) "I mean, it's just human nature to suck up to the people above you, crap on those beneath you, and undercut your equals” - Brian, Family Guy

65) “You never quit a job. You quit a manager.” - Brian Bedford

66) “All the pictures in my house are of people I’m not friends with” - Tracy Cunningham

67) “In order to leave something behind, you have to leave.” - Dr. Herman, Grey’s Anatomy

68)

(via Twitter)

69) “You can obsess about death if you don’t have to obsess about dying.” - Brendan Kelly via “White Noise”

70) “If it’s right to do, it’s wrong to wait.” - Andy, doorman

71)

72) “When I'm sometimes asked when will there be enough [women on the Supreme Court] and I say, 'When there are nine,' people are shocked. But there'd been nine men, and nobody's ever raised a question about that.” - Ruth Bader Ginsburg

73) "America is mostly people who’ve never left their state saying we have the best country in the world." - Billy Wayne Davis

74) “A writer is someone who knows at least 80% of their writing sucks.” - Gabe Hudson

75)

(via Twitter)

76) “You’re dead twice” - Brendan Kelly

77) “Perfect is the enemy of good” - Voltaire (via Zach Lowe)

78) “I don’t want to be a savior, I want to be a mirror.” - Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

79) “I get bad Twitter FOMO but not real life FOMO. That just goes to show I need to get off the Internet.” - Josh Thomas

80) “Is there anything you love in life that you engage with seriously that you don't also engage with humor?" - Sam Sutherland, on his relationship with Blink-182

81) “My favorite genre of music is my friends' bands" - Josiah Hughes

82) “Let’s fall in love like both our parents aren’t divorced.”

83) “Seabiscuit may be the only earthling that was on both sides of the stamp.” - Brendan Kelly

84) “There’s no shame in coming in second, except in, like, wars.” - Family Guy

85) “I feel like I experience writer’s block 100% of the time, and when I do write, I have impostor syndrome.” - Phoebe Bridgers

86) “We teach based on what we most need to learn.” - psychologist on Grey’s Anatomy

87) “Having too many choices is the leading cause of stress” - Grey’s Anatomy

88) “I think we've all gravely underestimated the extent to which this year has changed all of us, permanently” - Kelli Maria Korducki

89)

(via Twitter)

90) “I wonder if people understand why they don’t have polio” - Sandra E. Garcia

91) “Ending songs is terrible, so let’s keep singing” - Dave Hernandez

#covid19 #2020 #star wars #dave chappelle #volatire #ysac #kobe #kobe bryant #ladybird #bukowski #jojo rabbit #aoc #john prine #deadwood #bernie #rbg #notorious rbg #phoebe bridgers

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theanxietylifes-blog · 3 years

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The Anxiety Life

Entry 1

I cast my mind back to 2o13, black 2013......

My karate sensei announced he was quiting teaching classes, after 4 years and several belt grades into my training under his guidance. A teacher of not only karate, but a teacher of life, a figure I and so many other students looked up to, and were inspired by.

That's where it all came crashing down around me, that's what I believed to be the trigger.

The mental illness I would eventually come to nick name as the black dog.......

Back in the late 80's, in a time I consider some of the best times of my life, the nostalgia of those later high school years where I felt invincible, achieving in mostly anything I put any kind of time and effort into. Excelling in sports and music, all the things that the "in kids" were into.

Back then, as it probably still is today there were different social classes, or I guess a social pecking order at school. At the top there were the really cool kids, who were usually tough, and bent or broke the rules often, rebelling against any form of authority. At the other end of the pecking order, you had the straight laced somewhat dorky misfits and bookworms, you know the types, that would often go on and peak in life, becoming highly successful long after school days were long gone. I was neither at the top or the bottom of that pecking order, rather, some where in between. I had a good group of friends, and came from a good middle class home where home life was also pretty good.

Even in those salad days, as early as my later high school years It was there.....

and my first recollection, that I could remember when it started.....

Standing at the light switch in my room, the last thing to do before I hopped into bed," ok turn the light switch on, then off, then on, then off, how many times was that,

it has to be six times, ok jump into bed", my head voice now in full gear, loud, and relentless.

"You better get get back up, and back to that light switch or something real bad is going to happen to you". Now back at the light switch again",1,2,3,4,5,6 on off on off", this cycle occurring over and over, before that inner voice was silenced, and I could finally go to sleep.

Entry 2 Black 2013

I think it was a month or so after my sensei, and life mentor left the Dojo when it began....

I woke around 2am in the early hours of the morning, feeling uneasy, but what was more unsettling was my racing heartbeat, and the horrible feeling like I couldn't take a decent breath in. The more I tried and couldn't, the faster my heartbeat raced, and the more I panicked.....waking my wife up in the process I remember spiraling into a frenzied terror.

My wife was trying to calm me down, telling me to try and calm down and focus on measured breathing. But it was to no avail, I couldn't be calmed, I just kept yelling in desperate panic "feel my pulse, feel my pulse im having a heart attack, I can't breathe I feel im going to blackout at any second", but right at the point where I really felt like I was going to pass out, I got control of myself, I started to feel my breathing return back to normal, and after a while my heart rate slowed down, and although shaky from the ordeal after about half an hour and some comforting from my wife I felt ok.

Things got worse, a couple of nights later I had the same night repeated all over again, only this time, in my sheer panic, of once again feeling all the symptoms of a perceived heart attack, the heart palpitations, some chest pains, difficulty with breathing, (hyperventilating), this time, t frantically threw some clothes on at the end of my bed, slipped past my still sleeping wife, and without any rational thought, grabbed my car keys, got in my car and sped off like a mad man, to the closest hospital emergency department, which was about 10 minutes away. I had totally lost it, thinking I was going to die, I sped through red lights, driving as fast as I could, with only the single thought in mind, of making it to the hospital before I passed out,

I got there still frantic, I pretty much ditched the car anywhere I could, close to the emergency department.....

After some hours past, and a panicked wife that woke to realise I had gone MIA....

I got the all clear from the emergency doctor, and I made my way back home.

ENTRY 3

I have been in the workforce now for over 30 years, and I still don't know what I want to do in my working life, in fact as the years roll by I've certainly discovered more and more about what I don't want, but feel lost when it comes to finding my purpose in working life, and for that matter life in general.

I hate my job, I feel like i'm surviving, not really living, and I feel like my only friend

once i've clocked on, is time ticking away, until It's tools down and I can go home.

I'm constantly in search for a possible career change, I covert all the online employment guides, and career guides, I also take online career adviser tests, constantly trying to find my fit, but nothing has ever jumped out at me, screaming here I am, the career choice that's right for you....don't get me wrong, I am not afraid of further study and or training, or putting the work in, for the right role, but my fears lye in the fact that I am getting to, if i'm not there already, an age where a career change would be very difficult, especially when I still don't really know what my best career would look like.

ENTRY 4

People and socialising can make me feel tired, I feel like it takes a lot of energy to go out on a social outing and have to socialise with groups of people, even family social gatherings can wear me down quickly. It's not like I don't like people, I work in a job role that sees me interact with people throughout my day, I know that I mentioned that I hated my job in my last entry, but it's not necessarily, the interacting with people part that I dislike about the job, I feel it's more the overall picture of my job, and how it fits with me as a person.

I feel my social skills have declined, particularly in recent years and especially the older I get. I find the art of small talk particularly hard, I think mainly because i'm of the philosophy, that if you don't have anything "real" to say, or something that has meaning, It's better not to say anything at all. Perhaps this has been one of my downfalls in recent years, and why I don't have many friends, particularly close friends. The other point is, I guess I don't put in the effort required to maintain a friendship either, I suppose this all comes back to putting in the required time, and effort, into building friendships, something I haven't felt a strong need to do. Maybe it might just be that I haven't found people that I naturally find interesting and I can relate to, friends that I don't feel the need to make forced, awkward conversations and interactions with, where I don't feel uncomfortable if I don't have something to say for the sake of filling in silence, where socilaising is actually enjoyable, and doesn't feel like it's soul draining.

Sometimes I wonder if I am normal. as I really like my own company a large percentage of the time. I have interests that I like to endulge a lot of my time with, and I am a very goal orientated person. For the sake of keeping my identity anonymous, I have chosen not to disclose my interests, only to describe how they play a part in my life.

ENTRY 5

I am a very nostalgic person, I find myself reflecting alot about the past.....I often sit and think about how the past always seems to have been the best times of my life, and how the present can never measure up to be as good. I often think back on the fond memories about late high school life, and my first years as a young adult, post high school in the late 1980's and early 90's.

Partnered with my frequent daydreaming and reflecting on life and the past, is my life long love for music. I think music is one of the greatest gifts in life. to me, there is nothing that can conjure up emotions and can elevate your "mood," whether it be, sadness, happiness, aggression, or any other state of mind, quiet like the power of music. One of the many joys of music is it's ability to serve as an audible photo album, a sound track to our lives. How many times have you heard a song on the radio, and it's a song that you may have forgotten about over the years, which you haven't heard since you were a teenager, all those years ago, in a certain time in your life, and then bam! those familiar song notes hit your ears, and there it is, and you are instantly transported back to that time, only, unlike a photo, a still frame captured in time, music is alive it's a truly awesome thing, that for a moment, can take you right back to that time, the smells, a girlfriends kiss, or some special accomplishment back then, a special thing that only the power of music can deliver.

ENTRY 6

Back in black 2013, I had many trips to the hospital, with varying symptoms that seemed like heart attack symptoms.....

It was on one particular occasion, where the hospital ran a thorough range of tests on me, which all came back normal, the doctor started asking me questions i'd never heard before, followed by a paper questionaire. This included questions like, have you ever thought about killing yourself, and do you often feel like you have a lack of motivation in life, and other questions along those lines. After submitting my answers to the questionaire, the doctor came in to discuss the outcome with me, and in summary, concluded I had Anxiety depression issues, and perscribed medication, and discussed having me see a phsychologist.

A couple of days after that consultation with the ER doctor. I woke up early one morning feeling like I wanted to jump out of my skin, I felt terrible, on edge and my heart was beating 100 miles an hour, and I felt myself loosing control, and spiraling into yet another panic attack episode.

Apart from that, I also had other horrible underlying feelings like, an over whelming sense of helplessness, and feeling like everything was just too hard to deal with, and I was just too tired to face the realities of life.

mental health

anxiety

depression

#mental health #anxiety depression

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spacegaywritings · 4 years

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The life of Janus the Snake boi - Chap 1 - Snake tubes

General audience, POST POF; Words: ~1,5k Summary: Roman is fed up with sharing a room. He wants Janus to help him get rid of Remus for just a moment but makes a nice discovery instead. They decide to.. compromise.

Tags: roceit, roman, janus, ahhh antagonising remus a bit, self care, snake, being stuckm implied (nonsexual) nudity, snake kiss!, snake tongue, one (1) flustered prince

ao3: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6. // all. tumblr: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6. My KoFi - Support me ♥ or Commission me story under the cut:

It was yet another day in the mindscape. The air was tranquil, the space was vast and there was barely any sound to be heard.

Roman strove through the commons to get to the other side of the space.

He was a busy prince. The determined steps he took reflected his sense of duty, his current quest. He had to find a certain slimy snake and get him to finally get this atrocious Remus out of his room. The creative side was not in the mood to deal with this man today. Instead, he wanted to lay down and put on a face mask and simply relax but he could not have nice things in this group, could he?

As soon as he had taken out his nail polish, Remus had showed up to swallow it whole like a damn sugar cube.

His steps echoed through the hallway which led to every accepted side’s room. He had tried to lure Remus to the kitchen but he did not comply, no. He wanted to be a dirty trashrat and eat nail polish because this is what that cursed abomination of a soulmate had to do.

He was sick of it.

Remus always came when he wanted to do nice things. Why did they have to share a room again? Any side had their own room so far but Roman was stuck with a filthy garbage can.

An exasperated sigh escaped his lips as he finally calmed down the haste in his intense stomps. It felt as if the world was a bit more stable and silent now. His anger might have shook the mindscape a bit. Too bad he was creativity. His feelings and thoughts shaped the appearance of this place. It went as far as to affect even the private chamber assigned to each side.

Except in his room where Remus reigned with his stupid “stinki law” or whatever brainless stupidity he had come up with.

“Janus!”

The steps ceased. Instead, he straightened his posture and fixed his hair. The self-proclaimed prince swallowed and knocked at the stone door. Stone - only Roman would be fancier had Remus his own room rather than invade his precious space. Why did Thomas have to accept all these people again? They were not even good!

And why was he not answering!?

The royal knocked again.

Still no answer. More time passed. Roman started tapping his foot when Janus still did not bother to even say something, indicate he was there or open the door for all he cared and wanted.

If someone else was as good at catching Remus and keeping him busy, then he would be pestering someone else but nO the trash tamer was the only adequate arm in the art of ambushing Remus and kick him out once more.

He just needed a few hours to himself.

“Janus!”

.....

The royal groaned.

“I am giving you another moment to answer or I will just come in, I warned you. I just need you to get Remus out of my sight for a few hours - it is for Thomas!”

Even after this, there was taunting silence. It was the most disrespectful noise he had ever been tortured with. The audacity of refusing to acknowledge his presence, his words and his requests!

“That’s it, I am coming in!”

True to his words, Roman grabbed the heavy stone and moved it aside with surprisingly little effort. His hands burned in rage and cut through the air like a war plane. When the prince entered Janus’ room, the same gloomy silence engulfed him. It was a cryptic sort of environment to him, much like Remus’ presence. It was rather unlike Janus and something within him started to feel foul.

This was rather disconcerting.

Janus was the classy person, not the mysterious guy. Well, not anymore. He had revealed enough of himself to have lost all of his mystical aura. Now he was just a -

“BACK OFF, FIEND!”

Roman stumbled over something and sent himself right onto the floor. Great, just great. He was supposed to give himself a cooling face mask made of active coal and avocado - not stone ground and shed scale pieces.

Wait, what?

“..ugh..”

He peeled the sharp pieces off his face and blinked around. Something about Janus’ room was odd and it was not just the fact that Janus himself was missing. The usual tranquillity and timeless feeling of floating above it all was gone. Usually, Roman cared a little less about everything whenever he found himself to be in here but now he was stuck in this room and as connected to the rest of the world as per usual.

“Janus!”

His voice turned angered by now. It was spicy like his ill temper. He sat up and was just about to fully get up to his feet when he saw a little paper roll role over the floor. Well, it rather turned over itself aimlessly and suddenly laid there, unmoving and lethargic like an overfed snake.

Snake?

He inched in, examining the unknown object. It turned out to actually be nothing but one of these paper rolls of which people pulled their toilet paper off. And further... yellow! Yellow scales!

“Janus..”

His voice was softer. Almost a peace offering when his regal fingers slowly reached out to pick up the little roll and bring it up to his face. Indeed, a short lemon snake was stuck in the roll. Short and wide. It was not like toilet paper rolls had the smallest diameter in the world.

“Janus, is this you?”

The snake hissed, whipping the end of his body at Roman. If this snake had eyebrows, he would look angrier than Logan after implying he might not be 100% right about all he said - which was all the time, if you asked Roman. But that was only his very humble and very right opinion.

“Ah, yes. It is you. I almost mistook you for Virgil with how angry you got by just looking at me.”

His paper roll trembled and shifted with Janus’ intense movements. Snakes were not the most agile animals, from what Roman knew, but Janus seemed more than keen to get out of his grip. Even if that meant falling onto the ground.

“Janus, are you stuck?”

Yellow shrank into the roll and immediately launched forward so violently, Roman lost hold of the roll and dropped it. It slid out of his hands, moved towards the floor while Janus regretted his spiteful reactions for only a moment before- ..before Roman caught the roll and carefully set it down onto the ground.

“I can help you, Janus. I know.. we don’t love each other but.. I need your help, you need my help. Let me be a prince to you and cut you free and you shall shackle Remus’ impulses for just a few hours, so I can help Thomas recover.”

The boopnoodle stilled for a moment and turned his head. Only now was it that Roman realised Janus’ head. It was the same - or, well, a miniature version of it. Black, tiny, covering the top of his head. It was typical Dec- Janus. It was the typical Janus he knew and uh.. well.. knew. A little smile stole itself onto his lips.

Janus flicked his tongue at him and the prince couldn’t help but widen his smile.

“Trust me for a while, Janus.”

Roman conjured up a simple carpet knife and softly started to trace it over the paper roll with just enough pressure on the blade to drag little carves into it. It was not yet fully cut but with a little more wiggling around from Janus, the roll burst at the line Roman has gently cut. The snake was free, unharmed and ..

He looked at Roman who seemed so gentle all of a sudden. Janus was comfortable in his warm and caring hands. There was no harm in them. The knife was gone and only a precious prince remained. A rather handsome one, to be frank~

Janus stretched a bit, reaching out into the air and leaned in to press his boopsnoot against Roman’s lips for just a moment before sliding down to the floor and retreating into the heart of his room. The prince was left to freeze and stare after him, cheeks ablaze and eyes alive.

“Jan-”

The snake stopped and looked at Roman before flicking his tail at the creative side. Janus seemed longer than before. Automatically, Roman’s legs started moving and he accepted his fate in self-care heaven side by side with Janus, the self-care snake. He was at the heart of Thomas’ resting centre. Logically, he followed Janus suit when the snake slid into a warm tub of water and turned back into his human self. He did not even hesitate a split second when the man held his hat and put it aside, a burning longing in his warm orbs.

#Prince Roman #roman sanders #janus #ts janice #deceit #deceit sanders #ts deceit #roceit #fanfiction #fanfic #fanficion #fanfic fluff #ts fanfic #ts fanfiction #remus mention

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angelubasco · 3 years

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"YOUR MIND AND BODY MATTERS"

-October 28, 2020

Have you ever check upon yourself? Especially your mind and body? And if so, when is the last time you did it? As of now that the worlds facing a pandemic it is important to monitor our mind and body not just on the month of celebration about mental health. Many news are coming out about their physical and mental health to their family and personal problems in life especially those students who are having difficulties on their online classes. There are lots of sayings that this is not good for them as you browse on different social links that is based from their experience and it is sad to say that most students felt depression and anxiety that they killed themselves because their minds are full of pressure about simultaneously deadlines/activities and felt sick beacuse of having a lack of sleep. This is one of the examples I have cited that I wanted to encourage my fellow students to ask themeselves right now this kind of questions, "How healthy is my mind and body?" & "Am I truly happy and enjoying what I am doing?". Because we can't deny somehow we feel lost and empty. That's why it is important to assess if we are still okay about our physical and mental health because both are interconnected as our thoughts affects our physical body.

According to Newport Academy (2019), "The mind and the body are not two separate entities—although they are often treated that way. Physical health and emotional health are intimately intertwined in what’s known as the mind-body connection.

Our chemistry and biology impact our mood and emotions, as well as thoughts and beliefs. With all of these factors combined, they play a major role in influencing our stress and physical health. If you’ve ever felt your stomach tighten up when you were anxious, you’ve experienced the mind-body connection."

If you are one of this kind of students who doesn't have healthy mind and body or who wanted to know how to maintain your mind and body strong and healthy, here are Eight Habits for you according to Valentine (2017).

1. Exercise using something you love

Physical exercise has been shown in countless studies to help reduce stress, increase energy, improve mood, and even help make us more creative.

Great right? However, advice on how to make exercise a habit is a bit lacking. That’s because exercise can be a really difficult habit to stick to. But if there’s one thing I’ve found really helps stick to physical exercise and make it a long-term habit it’s this:

Exercise in a way that allows you to enjoy something you love.

You have to really look forward to working out. Whatever it is that you do, whether it’s running, lifting weights, doing cardio, martial arts, Yoga, or something else, you need to pick an exercise method you really enjoy.

For example, I love martial arts. I’m a lot more likely to stick to my work out while doing that than running or lifting weights. On the flip side, if there’s no particular exercise-like activity you enjoy, maybe you really love music. Play all your favorite music during your workout and you’ll notice yourself far more likely to get up to exercise. Another option is listening to podcasts about your craft while running.

Either way, exercise is a big one, so find a way to make it work for you.

2. Meditation

Meditation is another huge one. However, meditation isn’t really what most people think it is.

If you don’t like the traditional idea of meditation, you can meditate while doing virtually anything if you use the right method (i.e. mindfulness meditation). Also, studies have shown that as little as five to ten minutes of meditation offers great benefits, so don’t think you need to sit for a half hour every day. You really don’t.

Similar to physical exercise, there are several different methods and forms of meditation, so do a little adventuring and experimentation to find a method and form that works for you. Everyone is different and different methods of meditation tend to work better for different people.

3. Mindful walking

This is easily one of my favorite activities on this entire list, but it’s also the most obscure. Mindful walking, also known as walking meditation, is meditation in motion. It can be done formally as a dedicated practice and informally by paying attention to your steps and what is going on around you as you move.

This is great for many of the reasons formal meditation is (albeit less concentrated), however, there’s another big reason to do mindful walking: it helps you tune in to the body.

Sometimes, things occur in the body that we don’t notice. Oftentimes, chronic issues and illness begin to creep up in ways often unseen. However, by learning to tune in to the body with mindful walking, we can notice these things arise before they become more of an issue.

It’s a hard thing to explain, but it’s been infinitely useful to me. In many ways, this one exercise gives us a way to check in with both the mind and body on a regular basis and in an incredibly convenient way while going about our daily activities, so its place on this list is well-earned.

4. Rise early

Rising early is something I took years to develop. However, it was so worth it.

There are positives to staying up late, particularly if you find that you’re more productive or creative during late night hours. However, in general, I’ve found that the majority of people are most productive in the early morning hours.

In addition, though, waking up early and adopting a morning routine that prepares you for the day helps you start each day off with the optimal state of mind to tackle problems and make decisions, something incredibly useful for everyone no matter what your profession.

So, if you’re not already, see what waking up a little earlier does for you.

5. Adopt a nighttime routine

On the flip side of that, adopting an effective night time routine that puts your mind in the right state before bed and helps maximize the quality of your sleep is also incredibly beneficial.

Unfortunately, most of us in the West just don’t value sleep enough. We tend to place work above well-being and prefer to leave sleep for when we die. However, two decades of scientific research now says this isn’t just a bad idea health-wise – it’s unproductive.

Take some time to craft a simple but effective nighttime routine and I promise – you won’t regret it.

6. Remove sugar, add water, get your food from the source

This is the basic recipe I follow when it comes to nutrition advice.

Over the years, I’ve learned a lot and tried so many different things with regards to nutrition. At this point, my ideology on nutrition is pretty relaxed. And it’s never worked out better.

There’s a ton of advice out there and, rightfully, it can be pretty confusing. So, I’ve chosen to follow a pretty simple mantra that offers me roughly eighty percent of the benefit of any particular diet while doing about twenty percent of the work to get that benefit. It’s this:

Remove sugar: Sugar is bad. Really bad. Occasional sugar is just fine, even daily, as long as you try to keep it under 50g at an absolute a maximum (30g even better).

Add water: Buy a dedicated flask just for water and you’ll have a one thousand times higher likelihood of sticking to the habit of drinking water daily. About eight to ten cups is fine, but you should look into what your specific amount is based on your body weight.

Get your food from the source: Do you have a farm where you live? Or a farmer’s market? Awesome. Section of your grocery store with local farm foods? Pretty good too. Also, this refers to what food you eat as well. Put a little more whole foods into your diet or get a juicer.

Keep it simple and use this method to get most of the benefit of altering your diet while saving you time to focus on what’s most important to you.

7. Find friends who identify with your challenges

We’re social creatures. No matter what you do, you can’t escape this.

And so, by virtue of this, the more social we are, the healthier we tend to be.

However, there’s something very specific about relationships that helps us more than anything else: having people around us who identify and sympathize with our challenges and who we communicate with often about those challenges. The lack thereof is often the reason for suicide in those who suffer from depression or bullying.

When we have people around us who listen and understand what we’re going through, something magical happens: we get through it (what it is for you). It’s a very simple thing that we often overlook but is so critical to our mental and even physical health.

8. Find a passion project or creative outlet

If you’ve been pursuing something you love for some time now, I don’t have to tell you how great it makes you feel.

The energy we get while pursuing our passions is limitless and gives us a sense of vitality that is hard (if impossible) to acquire any other way.

Using our brain regularly keeps our mind strong and moving helps keep us physically healthy, so if you haven’t yet taken the time to find what you’re passionate about and to start pursuing that with every fiber of your being, start now (before it’s too late).

There's no harm in trying, our mind and physical gives us energy. A person who can change his/her mind can change his/her lives. Always remember health is our wealth. Keep on checking and doing the things you love.

Sources:

Newport Academy, (2019). Understang the Mind-Body Connection. https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/mental-health/understanding-the-mind-body-connection/

Valentine, M., (2017). 8 Habits You Need to Lock Down for a Strong, Healthy Mind and Body. https://www.goalcast.com/2017/12/14/8-habits-healthy-mind-and-body/

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tronnyboyo · 3 years

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BLUE SEA Chapter 4: Voices in the Night

Based off of “Delicious” from Pet Shop of Horrors

Rating: Mature

AU: Don Thousand’s Pet Shop

Word Count: 2564

Relationships: Hellshark/Disqualifyshipping (IV/Ryoga) and past Accidentshipping (IV/Rio)

Warnings: Manslaughter, dysfunctional relationships, brief mentions of sex, language, alcohol

Summary: Thomas brings Ryoga home from the pet shop and remembers the night of the accident.

“There we are,” I said softly as I eased Ryoga into the pool. “Welcome back.”

As much as I had wanted to take Ryoga home right then and there, I knew that I was ill-prepared. He deserved the best. I couldn’t have transported the entire vase that he came in with me nor could I bear to leave him in his small traveling tank for long. Thus, I left him at the pet shop for a few days in order to prepare his new living quarters. Every day without him was hell, the longing eating up my stomach in sharp, desperate pangs. The day before I brought him home, his face had filled my every waking hour.

Even as I drove him here, my heart was filled with pain, seeing him in his cramped traveling quarters. Whenever I looked back at him, his eyes were filled with hurt and a slight frown tugged at his lips.

“Of course I’m not going to leave you in there like that! When we get back home, you’ll be amazed at what I did with our pool! It’s the perfect place for you!” I had fervently promised my husband.

I don’t know if he understood me, but I had continued to talk all the way home, hoping that he would recover at least a bit of his memories from before. Or, at least he would cheer up. It hurt to see his face twisted in pain like that. He looked so...vulnerable. Throughout the ride home, he had rotated between peeking his head out of the tank, arm resting on the sides to quietly lying down on the glass bottom, staring up at the ceiling, gills opening back and forth. After I took him out of the car, I promised him that he would never experience such discomfort again.

I intended to make certain of that promise.

Before the accident, we had decorated his room together. The walls were painted a dark shade of cornflower blue and were filled with his band posters. He had a window to let in the sunlight along with a sunroof in his bathroom. I had pulled his black curtains shut after the wedding, unable to bear the thought of sunlight fading out his possessions. I couldn’t bring myself to part with the clothes he had already put into his closet either. The mixture of jackets, band tees, jeans and the occasional leather jacket were still sitting there, most likely collecting dust.

When I redecorated the pool room, I had gone into Ryoga’s room for the first time in days. It still smelled of fresh paint. He still hadn’t properly spent a night in this bedroom. Not even a hint of his cologne wafted about. I supposed that it was a blessing in its own way. There weren’t as many memories here. Carefully, I removed a few of his posters and his clock. Photographs. Jewelry. His favorite retro stereo and accompanying CDs. I brought them down into the pool room and distributed his possessions everywhere.

Plish. Ryoga swam around his new quarters slowly, drinking in the sights. I had placed his favorite leather recliner by the poolside, next to his stereo. His posters and photographs were now framed and placed on the walls. The large window at the back and front of the pool room were framed with dark curtains, similar to the ones in his room. Next to the poolside, I had put a cabinet containing all of his accessories so that he could easily access his jewelry without having to crawl out. It was bolted to the floor in order to prevent any accidents.

Under the sun, I watched as his tail caught the sunlight. A smile filled my face. Throughout the year, sunlight changed in accordance with the seasons. Winter sunlight was soft and gentle, filling the world with what was necessary but not to excess. It made things look old, as if on the verge of fading. Spring sunlight was verdant and vivid, adding more color to the world. It served as the bridge between the bright colors of summer and the muted colors of winter. Summer sunlight was yellow and bright, giving everything under it a halo. It made memories shine with joy. And autumn sunlight...there was nothing like it. My favorite season had sunlight that was golden and rich. It dyed the world in the hues of nostalgia, warm and glowing.

I couldn’t wait to see Ryoga under the golden sunlight, especially surrounded by the hues of the garden. Red, orange and yellow would go well with his tail and complexion. His pictures under the autumn skies would be stunning. I also couldn’t wait to see him under the hues of spring, amidst the rejuvenating greenery of the garden. He had always looked so vivid against the greens of spring with his blue eyes, pale skin and violet locks. They were the colors of flowers. Perhaps that was why he loved spring the most. It was when he was most beautiful.

Who could blame him?

Ryoga poked his head out of the water and rested his hand on the marbled border. He looked past me and out the window, now filled with late summer fruits. I followed his gaze and saw our fig tree with dark fruits splattered on the ground in mushy red piles. Underneath the tree in the humid summer heat, we had feasted on those sweet, soft fruits. It was always a running joke between us that the figs looked like a woman’s milky breasts, the white sap trickling out of the plucked tip in slow, sticky rivulets. Since the wedding, I couldn’t bear to look at them until now.

I looked back at Ryoga to find that he was already on the other side of the pool, looking up at the cabinet curiously. If only he could speak to me again. I’ve come to miss his jibes and relentless teasing. Walking over, I slowly opened the lowest cabinet to show him the array of accessories. The sparkling gems caught his attention and he curiously reached out for a necklace.

“I’ll help you put that on if you’d like,” I offered, coming closer.

At the sound of my voice, Ryoga disappeared into the waters and swam away. I tried not to take it too personally. After all, he had fallen three stories into frigid waters. Bzzt.

Oh.

I clicked off my phone.

“Time for lunch,” I announced as I walked over to the fridge.

I took three fish out of the fridge and turned around. Plish. Ryoga resurfaced, his eyes wide in anticipation as he saw the fish. For the first time since our wedding, a smile filled his face. My heart soared and I quickened my pace. He swam towards me and excitedly resurfaced, eyes sparkling with delight. I kneeled down and offered the fish to him. Deftly, he grabbed onto one of the fish and yanked it out of my hands, the scales brushing against my skin. He voraciously sank his teeth into the spine of the fish, sharp teeth ripping into the scales. I chuckled as he noisily ate.

“Still no charm and an overabundance of rudeness, huh?” I teased.

He ignored me and continued to eat. I put the two remaining fish by the side of the pool and cleaned my hands off with a nearby sanitizer.

“Let’s listen to some of your music,” I said as I walked over to his stereo.

I turned it on and selected one of his burned CDs. It was a lost art, according to him. Apparently, no one knew how to burn CDs anymore. I had never understood why he preferred CDs over our streaming technologies, but I always indulged him during holidays and birthdays. They were difficult to find, often sequestered in antique stores or sold in bundles of outdated technology. Pressing the play button, I then walked back to the jewelry cabinet to close it. The sounds of a soothing bassline started up as I looked into the cabinet. A silver ring caught my attention and I stiffened, quickly closing the compartment.

I walked back to the stereo to adjust the volume, prickles crawling up my spine. I watched Ryoga as he ate, the two silver rings on his fingers catching the light. The ring back in the cabinet had been Rio’s wedding gift to him. She had never gotten the chance to give it to him and it had arrived in the mail a few days after the accident. It had come in a plain box, nestled in white satin. “To: Ryoga, From: Rio,” was written on the inside of the lid in permanent marker. There had been no return address.

Unbidden, the contract resurfaced in my mind. Clause one: You must not show him to others. Even if it was his own sister? I should have asked for further clarification. But why shouldn’t Rio be allowed to know? If there was anyone that had grieved more than me, it was most definitely her. My hand crept to my pocket and towards my phone, yet it stilled just before I wrapped my fingers about it.

The order had been loud and clear. She never wanted to see me again after the wedding. My brows furrowed in contemplation. Surely, she would have wanted to know that Ryoga was alive though? Besides, it was the right thing to do. Then why couldn’t I do it?

I saw her grief-filled expression under the moonlight as the sirens of the police and naval guard arrived. Her eyes had burned like fire that night, filled with our long and twisted history. First the fire. Then the awkward reconciliation. Stolen glances. Brief brushes of fingers. More intentional touching. Lighting-fast kisses before a duel. Her warm skin on mine, the cold metal of the hallways freezing me to the bone. The betrayal that filled her eyes when I proposed to her twin brother instead of her.

“It’s a publicity stunt,” I had said in a hushed voice. “Good for the press and for our careers.”

The pale moonlight gave her magenta eyes an otherworldly glow. It dyed her hair silver and her skin was milk white. The white dress she wore fluttered in the wind, the diaphanous fabric teasing me. She was an otherworldly creature of the light. I regarded her cold gaze there, forcing myself to move towards her despite the ice in my veins. Hesitantly, I reached out to her, afraid that she would shatter in my embrace. My shoulders heaved in relief when she didn’t disappear as I held her tight, the ocean breeze and the rocking of the ship melding with our heartbeats.

��“I will always love you,” I promised.

Thunk. Both of us jumped at the sound. Quickly, I turned to see Ryoga, silhouetted against the bright interior of the ship. With the golden light behind him, his hair appeared black and his face was marred by long shadows. His navy blue suit had become a dark shroud and I could not see his eyes. Even the white flowers in his lapel looked gray in that moment. The shadow to Rio’s light.

“What are you doing with her?!” he shouted as he rushed towards me.

In the moonlight, his sapphire eyes shone with fury and hurt. Before I could answer, he grabbed my collar and shoved me against the deck railing.

“Ryoga!” gasped Rio.

“Stay out of this!” he snapped, his eyes drilling holes into me. “How long have you been doing this with her?!”

His cheeks were flushed with red and his breath smelled of champagne as he pushed me once again.

“Did you just use me to get closer to my sister?!”

His voice had broken at the last word, yet his face remained engulfed in rage. Roughly, he pushed me harder against the railing, my back teetering over the edge. The ocean beneath us was an inky black abyss.

“C-calm down…! Your s-sister was merely worried about you—about us!” I cried weakly.

Ryoga’s eyes narrowed, catching my lie instantaneously. But it was true. Almost everyone at the wedding knew that we fought regularly. Spats peppered our relationship, which was always followed by angry and passionate sex. Those were always the best, with his teeth sinking into my skin and my nails marking up his body. Just not this time.

“You fucker!” he screamed. “I trusted you! I knew something was off when Rio started coming to our matches more often! It was because of you!”

Being a high-profile prosecutor had left Rio with little free time. It must have hurt when Ryoga realized that she had made time out of her busy schedule not for him but for me. I looked at his face and noted that his lips were trembling. Despite the alcohol he had consumed, his eyes were filled with lucidity.

“Listen…!” I gasped as I teetered over the edge of the railing. “It was casual! We—”

In an instant, Ryoga positioned me over the edge, the deck railing digging into my lower back. I saw the bright expanse of the stars before me, my blood rushing through my ears. Rio’s cry weakened his grip and I felt my instincts kick in. Quickly, I freed myself from Ryoga’s grip and pushed him away. I circled him and he rushed towards me. We struggled for a few moments as we exchanged blows, making our way down the empty deck. I narrowly avoided a kick and slammed Ryoga against the railing. Distantly, I heard Rio crying for help.

Still, Ryoga kept trying to punch and kick at me, even as a bruise was forming on his cheek. He swung towards my face and I roughly pushed him away, my muscles rippling with fury. Too late, I realized as I saw his body flip over the railing. It seemed to happen in slow motion.

The shine of his shoes against the moonlight. The way his curls flew in all directions of the wind. How his furious expression melted into shock and then fear. How his mouth opened up into a scream. His corsage, fluttering loose and scattering in the wind.

“Ryoga…!” I yelled, sticking out my hand.

It felt as if I was trapped in gelatin, my limbs refusing to move fast enough. All that lifting. All that training. And it couldn’t even save him. It only killed him. Our fingers briefly touched, briefly interlocking before pulling away. The coldness of his skin shocked me, as if he was already beneath the waves. Rio’s scream melded with her brother’s and mine. The once-peaceful starlit night seemed to be full of nothing but screams in that moment, piercing and endless. And then a small and distant ker-plash as Ryoga’s body sank beneath the waves.

I jolted awake with a gasp.

“It was an accident,” my manager said. “Plain and simple as that.”

His voice echoed in my mind as I watched Ryoga swim, the fish long eaten. It wasn’t my fault. As Ryoga passed me by, he didn’t grace me with a single glance. I felt a twinge of relief as he passed me by indifferently. Perhaps this was a gift from heaven. A blank slate with Ryoga who, I knew now, was the love of my life.

#zexal #Thomas Arclight #ryoga kamishiro #disqualifyshipping #accidentshipping #hellshark #rio kamishiro #writing from iris #BLUE SEA

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