#for the record I fully support changing your name

[unitedstates0fdakota]

That small conversation about names in disco elysium has been stuck with me since I finished my first playthrough because they just put into words so perfectly the feelings I have with my own name and identity.

Harry’s comment about his name being something he “ruined” especially resonated with me. My name has been through so much since I was a kid. It’s what people yell when they’re annoyed at me, when I’ve messed up, when someone doesn’t like me, when people talk about me when they think I can’t hear them…it makes your name feel like a burden, or a reminder of your mistakes. I also feel Kim’s reaction to the same thoughts. Even though I can feel trapped by the name I’ve been given, I’m not sure if it would be an easy thing to just leave behind. I don’t hate my name, I think I just hate what I’ve done to it. And yet I still respond to it. What does that say about me?

#disco elysium #ramblings #for the record I fully support changing your name #just for me personally it’s a really complicated thing #and I’m sure it’s complicated for other people too #this game puts so many of my emotions into words and I love it for that

[hedgehog-moss]

(TW POLICE VIOLENCE)

France has been feeling like a police state this week, there were 5000 cops deployed in Paris yesterday (watch this video and tell me this is a normal amount of cops and they're behaving normally) and they keep acting like they have total immunity*, to beat up protesters, to arrest protesters, or just random people walking in the vicinity of a protest. My 70+-year-old dad tried to go to a peaceful protest and had to abandon the idea because of all the tear gas being used by police.

*Which they do—as Le Monde pointed out, the cops who are violent risk nothing because they can't be identified because almost none of them wear their identification number even though it's supposed to be mandatory. They're not being penalised for not wearing them, so why should they?

If you can stomach it, please have a look at the photos and videos on this Twitter account documenting French police brutality against protesters—as I write this, the most recent tweet is about a journalist who was beaten up by a BRAV-M cop* using his steel baton; he had his head cracked open and his hand broken.

(* BRAV-M is a motorised repression corps—cops on bikes—a unit that was dissolved in 1986 after some of them beat a student to death, who wasn't even attending a protest but walking near one. Macron changed the unit's name, from Voltigeurs to BRAV-M, and reestablished it to suppress the Yellow Vests protests. This week, a BRAV-M cop deliberately drove over a 19-year-old's leg at a protest after chasing him on his bike. The victim said he heard a cop say to others "Smash him." Another BRAV-M punched a protester unconscious on March 20. And today Le Monde published an article about BRAV-M cops being recorded bragging about "breaking elbows and faces.")

In Paris last week the CRS arrested a 14-year-old kid because they took him for a dangerous black bloc protester I guess?? A child spent a night in police custody without knowing why. They've also arrested several 15 / 16 year-olds. Let's teach the youth what happens when you exercise your right to protest!

On March 16th in Paris, within one evening, they arrested 292 people, and 283 were released without charges, which means they're mass-arresting people for peaceful protests as a strategy of intimidation. The student I mentioned in my post the other day, who spent 48 hours in custody and was eventually charged for refusing to have his DNA samples taken and filed, asked the cops why they were arresting him + 4 other people who were walking down the same street and they said "Because you look like fucking leftists."

The government tells us "We fully support our brave police forces" when the cops are arresting people for "looking like leftists." How are we still a democracy? The guy also mentioned that during the time he spent at the police station, the police was mostly arresting Maghrebis, though they made an exception for him, a Black guy. There are videos from the past week of cops beating up women, tear gassing protesters in the face from 20cm away, kicking protesters in the face when they're already on the ground, crushing their heads under their boot, brutalising a homeless man and old ladies, tear gassing crowds with young children in them. I'm having trouble finding links to these specific incidents I remember because there are so many videos circulating.

Look at this video, they're violently striking the back of people's heads with steel batons even when the protesters are already going in the direction they're told to. The little old lady shoved around and trying to protect her head from the strikes is breaking my heart.

Surely at the point when enforcers of state authority are arresting middle schoolers, beating up citizens for exercising their rights and gassing and pepper spraying elderly people, children and babies in strollers, the government might want to make some sort of statement condemning this state of affairs, but instead they have been telling us they're proud of & grateful for their police forces, which of course angers people and makes protests more violent. The Minister of the Interior, who supervises the police, praises them wholeheartedly and excuses all instances of deliberate brutality as 'isolated incidents' due to 'tiredness'.

Here's a thread in English describing a protester's experience—"Yesterday (March 23) the level of arbitrary police violence clearly leveled up. I was tear gassed three times without being able to move in a very dense crowd; policemen took advantage that people were unable to move more than 20cm to pounce on us and bludgeon us in a totally arbitrary manner." (you can see an example of this behaviour in this video from a different protest)

Yesterday, after a day of nationwide protests that brought a fresh new wave of video evidence of cops beating up protesters and making reckless use of tear gas—at the end of a day when a special ed teacher at a protest got her thumb torn off by a tear gas grenade—this is what the French Prime Minister said:

They're not even trying to play it off like "both sides made mistakes" they're telling us they condone everything the police is doing, that this is what they're deploying them for:

(screencap from this video)

(this is from this video, in which you can hear a woman screaming "Stop it! You're strangling him! You have no right! I'm filming you!" The cops don't seem to care about being filmed. They're beating up citizens with the government's full blessing after all.)

Macron's government is trying to intimidate people into giving up their right to protest, by deploying cops in huge numbers and publicly voicing complete support for their behaviour, by allowing them to beat and arrest hundreds of people and to use tear gas indiscriminately. Tear gas has been completely normalised as a means of state violence, it's very practical that it doesn't leave traces of blood or broken bones I guess, but it's still violence, it burns, it's a chemical whose effects on people's health we don't know a lot about.

^ Paris (from this vid; caption: "one tear gas grenade after the other")

Macron condescendingly told us there's no "magic money" which is why the pension reform is needed, but he did find the money to stockpile these apparently unlimited amounts of tear gas grenades to suppress protests against his reform to make poor people work longer.

^ Nantes (screencap from a vid in which the cops throw three or four grenades at once and you can hear people say "oh come on, seriously? this is crazy. Why? go fuck yourselves" in a tired tone)

We've also found out yesterday that three Corsican MPs were pressured not to support the Assembly's no-confidence vote against the government—by being told if they didn't vote it, a teaching hospital would be built in Corsica.

The island of Corsica is the only region of France that doesn't have a teaching hospital; due to lack of medical resources Corsicans often have to travel to mainland France for healthcare. Just last month the Minister of Health said sorry, still no teaching hospital for Corsica, it's just not possible right now. Then last week some "magic money" was apparently found to build it but only if the Corsican MPs didn't support the no-confidence vote. I know this kind of thing isn't exactly unique in politics but Macron has been slashing hospital budgets to the point that 20% of French hospital beds are closed due to lack of staff, and he used the health of 340,000 French citizens as a bribe to save his ass. The three Corsican MPs ended up voting in favour of the no-confidence vote despite of that, as it was what their constituents wanted (honour to them). Macron's government survived the no-confidence vote by only 9 votes.

Whatever legitimacy Macron has as a President right now is being clung to by MP corruption and police repression. How do we move forwards knowing that, I don't know. How does he have legitimacy to govern on any issues after the way he handled this reform and the following protests? His police forces are drowning city centres in tear gas, a chemical whose effect on birds and other fauna is not known, and we're supposed to listen to him talk about the environment? They're wasting thousands of litres of water using water cannons to disperse protesters, and we're supposed to listen to him talk about low groundwater levels and how we need to save water? I was going to say, what about his legitimacy abroad but other Western governments don't seem too bothered so far by his handling of the protests—though I'm grateful that Amnesty International did condemn it, and that a Belgian deputy made a speech in Parliament this week asking his government to condemn Macron's use of violent police repression.

[Wait, I just saw that as I was writing this post, the Council of Europe condemned the "excessive use of force" in France. Saying that 'sporadic acts of violence' of some protesters can't 'justify the excessive use of force by agents of the State' or 'deprive peaceful protesters of their right to freedom of assembly'. This is the opposite framing as the one our government is standing by—sporadic acts of violence by cops that are either justified or excusable—it's refreshing.]

Between that and Charles III cancelling his visit (and lots of tourists cancelling trips to Paris which is bound to piss off the tourism industry) and our own media waking up and starting to talk about the government's brutality, I hope Macron starts being held accountable. He has been fanning the flames of this crisis at every turn, by telling us that the crowds protesting in the street have 'no legitimacy', by sending cops to break strikes even though striking is a Constitutional right (but the only part of the Constitution he cares about is the one that starts with 49.3), by condemning the protesters when asked to condemn police violence—saying "When [protesters] use violence, unregulated, absolute, we're no longer in a Republic." I agree, but he's describing himself.

When you resort to using article 49.3 to bypass the National Assembly for the 11th time this term to impose a reform that 70% of the country is against (and 93% of working people) that will force the poorer classes of the population to work longer, and your only response to people's distress at being told to work until they die is to force them to accept it by allowing your police forces to beat up protesters, to arrest them and to gas them, you have failed as a democratic leader.

The next organised protest and strike is next Tuesday (if you want to give something to the strike solidarity fund, here it is); in the meantime spontaneous protests are still erupting pretty much every day and cops are getting burnt out (good! There are fun videos from yesterday's protests of cops accidentally tear gassing one another, or a police car accidentally running into another as people laugh and clap.) And yes some protesters are getting more extreme and destructive, but Macron is the one choosing to stand by his reform at all costs and let this country burn. And when I look at what we're being expected to tolerate and to normalise, I'm kind of proud that French people's gut reaction was "burn it all."

Some popular Twitter hashtags for the protests:

#ToutCramer - Burn everything #CensurePopulaire - People's no-confidence vote #MacronDémission - Macron resign #OnLâcheRien - We won't cede an inch.

#frpol #i know french people who aren't following this closely aren't aware of how bad things got #as i said our media is finally commenting on CRS and BRAV-M behaviour but seeing the videos #for the protests is kind of necessary i feel to see how omnipotent the police feel thanks to macron #his ''fuck you i've already passed the reform idgaf about your protests'' attitude in the face of all this is unforgiveable #even if he somehow sees the light it won't erase all the violence and destruction that he caused #and that he doesn't care about #not to mention the damage done to democracy

[ebonyheartnet]

Who wants to spite a landlord? Any volunteers?

My friend’s got a new job starting on the 5th, but rental assistance fell through. Her landlord was cool until a few days ago, when they suddenly changed their mind to giving her until the 29th. While she is a hardcore badass, this isn’t happening without backup. I’m sending out an SOS to my fellow nerds. Come help one of the best friends and GMs I’ve ever known.

I’ll try to make it worth your while, k?

If you like my writing, I’ll do 500 words of fic for $5, and a ficlet for $1. I primarily write Danny Phantom and DC (mostly batfam + supers, but I’m willing to research for the sake of this).

If you want a song for your fav characters from the above fandoms, or you want to give your DND character a theme song, I’ll put something together for $20. Chords, lyrics (if you want) and a guaranteed minimum 1:20 demo recording—more if the brain weasels take hold.

Speaking of songs, to my Danny Phantom, DC, and DP x DC fans:

If we pay my friend’s rent before 12/29/24, I will fully record and release demos for “Half a Kingdom” and “One More Fan for Superman”

If you don’t know me and want to see what you’d get for a ficlet, “Ebony Writes the Thing” is my general writing tag. You can find the lyrics to Half a Kingdom here, and this is One More Fan for Superman. I also have a recording of myself singing a War x Famine Good Omens song, She Make Me Hungry on my old mic before I upgraded.

To claim your reward, DM me your screenshot.

With processing time, we’ve got about 2 days to pull off a minor miracle. Let’s hopepunk the fuck out of this and keep her safe.

Edit:

WE FUCKING DID IT!

Feel free to add some for extra shit like groceries just in case, but fuck, my friend gets to keep her apartment. 🥳

#WE DID IT YALL #dp x dc #superman #song fic #rental assistance #fandom charity #ebony writes the thing #danny phantom #dc universe #dnd character #dnd #dungeons and dragons #ocs

[afroditisworld]

Brooklyn baby

Late Eycte! Alex Turner x Singer!Reader

Warnings: smut, smoking, stoned sex? spanking, oral (female received), smut without plot, soft dom Alex, tits play and use of pet names (doll, luv, princess) if you are not into that please don't read it :))

word count: 3k

You and Lana were best friends. You were like sisters from different mothers. You grew up with each other, and it didn't turn out to be a surprise when you both decided to follow the same career. Both of you were talented women in the music business. You both followed each other every step of the way. You normally planned your tours together and attended each other's shows with every change. It was a mutual relationship based on support and admiration for one another's talents and successes. So when she met Miles Kane and Alex Turner, she also introduced them to you, and you instantly matched each other's energies. But, oh, you and Alex, you had an electric connection with your first conversation. You felt an indescribable spark every time you talked to him. Alex had his way of making you smile. His witty humour and charming personality captivated you from the start. With every word he spoke, you found yourself drawn closer to him and as time went on, your bond only grew stronger.

You and Alex were at your home studio, trying to get the perfect sound for one of your songs. It was one of those terrible days when you'd prefer to listen to one of your vinyl records than try to come up with new ideas. You were attempting to play a song on your keyboard, but nothing seemed to come together. You sighed as you turned to see Alex, who was lying on the floor with his back to the wall, doing the same thing with his electric guitar. "I'm going to play a record," you said, hoping it would bring some inspiration, and you walked towards the record player. "Do you mind?" you continued. "No, maybe I can strum a few chords while you listen and find something new," he replied mindlessly. You laughed at your current state as you picked a random record from the collection and gently placed it on the turntable. As the familiar crackle of the vinyl filled the room, you watched as his fingers effortlessly moved across the strings of his guitar, creating a melody that seemed to be perfectly in harmony with the song that was playing in the background. "Oh, I love this song," you whispered, and you started mumbling the song lyrics under your breath. "I didn't know that you liked Lou Reed," he commented, listening to your soft humming with a smile on his face. "Yeah, his music has always clicked with me," you replied, your voice barely audible over the music. "I've been listening to his songs for years; Lana teases me for that; she had written a song about it," you said with a smile.

When the record ended, the room was filled with silence. "Does it bother you?" Alex's voice brought you back to reality, showing you his lighter that was ready to light up his joint. You just shook your head in response.

You both had given up on finding some tunes for your song. Instead, you approached him and sat next to him. You were lying on the floor, your heads facing the ceiling, in silence. Then suddenly Alex placed the joint in your mouth, giving you a puff, and as the smoke filled your lungs, you closed your eyes. At that moment, a calming sense washed over you, as if the worries and stress of the outside world had been temporarily suspended and time stood still. With each exhale, the weight on your shoulders seemed to lighten, allowing you to fully embrace the tranquillity of the moment. Alex's fingers were still on your lips, and you could feel the warmth of their touch spreading through your body. Slowly, you felt your mind drift away. Your body grew more and more hotter, yet the cool air in the atmosphere made you shiver. Alex forced you to look at him and his unexpected action made you freeze. You just stared at his beautiful eyes and waited for him to say anything.

“Fuck” he sighed with a smirk “You got some soft lips there” he continued your heart racing as you tried to process his unexpected compliment. You couldn't help but blush, feeling a mix of excitement and confusion. “I'm always catching myself thinking if you could put them in good work for me,” he said and you were so surprised that you only blinked you could barely find words to respond. “Oh, don't act so surprised luv, I know that you wanted to, I can say from the way you look at me” he added again. It wasn't that you didn't want to but you really didn't know how to react. You never believed that Alex could be so forward. "Come here," he said, lifting himself up. You move closer to him without thinking, never breaking eye contact, and as you get closer to him you fall to your knees. Everything seemed to start dragging on a bit slower as the high settled into your mind and every touch made you shiver. "Oh, no, it's not about me tonight," he said, helping you stand up. You looked at him confused, and he kissed you passionately on your lips, catching you off guard. The intensity of the moment left you breathless, and you couldn't help but wonder what had prompted this sudden display of affection. As he pulled away, a mischievous smile played on his lips, and he whispered, "Tonight, it's all about you." When the words left his mouth, he kissed you again, lifting you up and placing you on the nearest table. His hands roamed gently over your body, his touch igniting a fire within you that you had never felt before. "Alex," a soft moan left your mouth. As his hands travelled all over your body. "What is it, doll? Tell me what you need," he asked. "I- I need…y-you" you moaned, so ashamed that you couldn't even look him in the face. You could feel your panties getting wetter and wetter with every minute passing. God, this weed was doing too much to you. "No need to tell it twice," he said, placing his hand on your neck and pulling you in for a kiss. The intensity of the moment overwhelms you, making it difficult to form coherent thoughts. The combination of his touch and the effects of the weed heightened your desire, leaving you craving more. A cry left your mouth as you kissed him back, and he bit your lip, causing a mixture of pleasure and pain to surge through your body. The room seemed to spin as you surrendered yourself to the intoxicating mix. It was a moment of pure surrender, where nothing else mattered but the raw desire between you. You wrapped your leg around him as you quickly deepened the kiss. You gasped into Alex's mouth as you felt his hands touch up and down your back.

Without even realising it, your top and your bra were lying scattered in the studio while Alex's mouth took one of your nipples between his teeth and pulled hard, gazing up at you as you cried out of pleasure and pain. Your back was arching from the pleasure his mouth was giving you, and all this attention in your sweet spot was making you soak through the fabric of your undies. His hands were hugging your boobs perfectly as he was teasing you, alternating between gentle caresses and rough squeezes. The combination of his skilled mouth and expert touch sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body, igniting a fiery desire within you. Unable to contain yourself any longer, you surrendered to the intoxicating sensations, losing yourself to Alex, which left you breathless and yearning for more. "Al, p-please. You're teasing me so much." You pleaded with a desperate voice, your words laced with a mixture of need and anticipation. Alex's eyes met yours, filled with a hunger that mirrored your own desires and with a wet pop, he let go of your breasts. The waiting was maddening, every nerve in your body on edge as you watched him slowly remove his hand from your breast and lower it between your legs. He smirked, his fingers tracing teasing circles on your inner thigh, inching closer to where you craved his touch the most. Your breath hitched as his fingers brushed against the fabric, sending a shock of electricity through your body. He lowered himself, and his hot breath was hitting your clothed pussy sending goosebumps all over your skin.

“Tell me what you need and I will give it to you," he whispered seductively. You could hardly find the words to respond, but the ache in your core fueled your determination. "I need your touch," you managed to utter, your voice trembling with tension. With that, he lifted your skirt and slid his fingers beneath your panties granting you the pleasure you craved, sending waves of ecstasy crashing over you. "You're so wet for me," Alex said, thrusting two fingers into you. As your hands grabbed his hair, his thumb slid to circle your clit, fingers now steadily pumping into you. Your spine arched and your legs sought to close as he curled his fingers in the perfect position. He looked up at you, disappointingly shaking his head. “No, sweetheart come on, I know you can do better than that," he said wanting to continue pushing you to your limits. “Close your feet again and I'm going to stop,” he said, with a serious expression on his face.

With his jawline sharp, he placed his hands on your back as he pushed you to the edge of the table. You could feel the pressure building in your muscles and the passion surging through your veins. He helped you take your panties off, and he lowered himself between your legs. You gasped and rolled your eyes back as his tongue touched your clit. His hands gripped your thighs and held them open for him, so tightly that you swear it'll leave a mark on your skin. As he continued to lick and suck your pussy, his tongue touched you in all the right spots. With your hands pulling the back of his head, you pushed your hips into his mouth as he thrust the tip of his tongue into you. Alex groaned against you, and the pleasure reached all the way to your core.

He rubbed his thumb on your clit again, making you see stars. Your body trembled in pleasure as you cried out his name. He was looking at you and, he couldn't help but enjoy having such power over you.

“A-Alex, please” you whispered.

“Please what doll?” he asked teasing you.

“Ple-please, don't stop” You paused not being able to utter a phrase with his face between your legs.

“I'm gonna cum Al- please, d-don't stop” you continued as one of your hands gripped the table tightly.

Alex moaned as your orgasm landed on his tongue, the sweet taste lingering in his mouth as he sucked the juices. The heat of the moment overwhelmed both of you, leaving you breathless and craving for more. He pulled away, gently placing your shaking legs down. You looked into each other's eyes, knowing that this was only the beginning. You felt your juice running out of your thighs, and your mind was all over.

You only came back to reality when he helped you turn around and bent you over the table, ready to take you from behind. When your breasts touched the cold furniture, you gasped at the sensation.

“We are not done, luv,” he said with a playful grin. You weren't able to respond but you needed him, you wanted to feel him inside you, all the anticipation that your previous action gave you and the high feeling of the joint that you two smoked made you even more hornier, longing for his touch. Eager to feel him again you pushed your hips against him, causing friction as his bone teased your entrance, he then backed up and let a spank fall in your ass. It was so unfair, he was fully dressed when you were wearing nothing but a skirt that was barely covering anything because he turned it up.

The painful sense sent a rush of pleasure through your body, and a cry left your lips. You closed your legs, trying to get some relief. But again, that gave you another spank. “Please” you begged again, hoping for mercy. And then the sound of Alex unzipping his pants was like harmony in your ears. “Someone is getting needy” he whispered and when he pushed his member inside of you, burying himself fully, you both moaned. “Ugh- Al” you moaned as waves of euphoria washed over you. Your legs started shaking and you couldn't bear your own weight anymore. You were a mess. Your moans, his heavy breaths and the sound of your bare skin slapping together filled the room. You could feel his dick hitting against your tight walls with each hard thrust, it was like he was doing it on purpose. You tried to make him slow down by pushing him by his chest but your attempt failed as he grabbed your hands and placed them behind your back. “You wanted me to stop, luv,” he asked, mocking you. “N-No, just- just please…slow down” you cried out and bit your lips trying to hold yourself quiet. Another orgasm built up quickly inside of you, you were so sensitive and overwhelmed with pleasure that you could barely breathe. “What? Are you going to cum already” he said and spanked you again harder than before, making you whine even louder. You couldn't even respond to him you just nodded and murmured. “Use your words, babe, like a good girl you are” he groaned. He was getting closer too, your walls were tightening around him and made it very difficult for him to move and not to cum right there. “Yes. Please yes,” you screamed, and then you placed your hands where you need them the most and started playing with your clit. The pleasure intensified as you felt the waves of orgasm building within you.

But Alex still catch your action. “Such a dirty girl trying so hard to cum on my cock” he said. He knew he had some power over you and he wouldn't stop until he had made you completely submit to his desires. You couldn't think of anything else but how close you were to your relief. Your body started to shake as the pleasure rushed all over your body. Your mind went blank and you gave yourself to him completely. You were high, your body aching as you let go once more. Alex moan as your juices covered his cock. Your orgasm seemed to last forever. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears, Alex continued to fuck you while you came and you couldn't do anything else but moaned in pleasure.

“ I- please cum inside me, I'm on the pill" you panted. And this was all Alex needed as he filled you up.

When he pulled himself out the mix of his warm release and your juice started running out of you in a sticky mess, you nearly sobbed, as he left you feeling exposed and empty.

“You did so good Y/N," he said helping you to stand up and face him, his eyes were filled with admiration and pride.

“I can't feel my feet,” you said with a shaky voice.

“Come on, princess,” he said as he lifted you in his arms. "How does a bath sound ?" he asked as he carried you towards the bathroom.

well, my boyfriend's in a band he plays guitar while I sing Lou Reed

#alex turner #alex turner x reader #alex turner fic #alex turner smut #alex turner fanfic #alex turner fanfiction #alex turner x you #alex turner x y/n

[rebelwrites]

Three: He Was Checking You Out

Charles Leclerc x Nova Teller (OC)

Till The Wheels Fall Off Masterlist

Small town meets the fast lane. What happens when two souls meet? Will it end in happiness or will they both crash and burn?

As always reblogs and feedback is highly appreciated ❤️ if you want tagging in future parts let me know ❤️

“Auntie Nova,” Elenor shouted over the sound of the shower.

“What’s up princess?” I smiled, poking my head around the shower curtain, making sure my body was covered.

“Poppy, called me your name today,” she whispered with an air of sadness in her voice. She was too young to fully understand Pops’ health concerns, but she knew something was wrong with him, there was no way we could hide that from anyone.

Retreating behind the shower curtain I ran my hands over my face. How the fuck was I meant to explain to her that her Poppy’s memory was getting worse? I took a deep breath before speaking. “Poppy just got confused, baby, he was watching the race and when I was your age, I used to sit on his knee watching with him.”

“Okay,” she hummed, slowly nodding her head as she chewed the inside of her mouth. I could tell by her reaction it was not the response she was seeking but I let out a small sigh of relief when she asked no more questions on the subject. For now, I had dodged a bullet, but I needed to warn Jax that at some point we needed to try to find a way to explain everything to Elenor that wouldn’t scare her. She loved her Poppy to bits and the last thing we wanted to do was cause her to worry.

“Have you thought about what you want to wear tonight?” I asked, quickly changing the subject as I shut the water off. Reaching my arm out of the shower I fumbled until I found the towel.

“My Ferrari hoodie,” she giggled, making me smile. I had definitely taught her well when it came to which team to support.

“Good choice, baby,” I grinned to myself as I wrapped the towel around my body. I was so grateful that we made sure the bar had an apartment upstairs and that we all kept a spare change of clothes here. “Has Uncle Bobby made you anything to eat?”

“He made my favorite.” She beamed as I pulled back the shower curtain, stepping out over the edge of the bath. I didn’t need to ask her what she had, her go to was always chicken nuggets and curly fries. It was honestly quite scary how alike Elenor was to not only Jax but to myself as well, especially since I had no blood relation to either of them.

Once we were both back in the small bedroom I quickly dried myself and got dressed. The outfit I had was simple: a ribbed light gray cropped vest top, black high waisted skinny jeans, my oversized long gray cardigan and finishing the outfit off with my black boots. It was the perfect outfit for relieving Chibs for the rest of the night whilst maintaining that edgy look I preferred whilst working at the bar.

Staring at my reflection I let out a small breath, my whole life I had been battling with the demons. It had been a long road, but I was slowly loving the body I was in but some days the voices grew louder making them hard to ignore. Taking one final glance at my appearance I made sure I was satisfied, I had done my makeup in record time but decided to leave my hair as it was because drying it was more effort than I wanted to spare right now. Feeling Elenor take my hand, I tore my gaze from the mirror smiling down at my niece. “Come on then, trouble.” I hummed. “Let’s go find your Dad.”

The two of us ran down the stairs, quickly reaching the small hallway that ran through the entire building, at the end was the main bar area, on the right side was mine and Jax’s shared office which was off limits to everyone and then the kitchen and storage area were towards the back.

Elenor instantly made her way over to Jax who was sitting with some guys from the MC, whilst I dipped in the kitchen to check on Bobby.

“There's my favorite cook,” I hummed, entering the kitchen. “How’s it been tonight?” I asked, leaning against the stainless steel countertop, picking at the batch of curly fries that had just come out of the oven.

“Not too bad, it’s been pretty steady, to be honest,” Bobby nodded, “it’s nice that it’s just the usuals. Lord help me when the summer tourists finally hit. Might have to drag a prospect or two in to help.”

“Whatever you need, you know you’ve got it. All you need to do is say the words,” I smiled, as he passed me a bowl of chicken nuggets, cocking my brow at him he just smirked.

“You won’t eat otherwise, and picking at the fries doesn’t count either,” he said, giving me a knowing look. Leaning over I pressed a kiss against his cheek before pushing myself off the counter to go relieve Chibs from behind the bar.

As I entered the main room, chicken nuggets in hand, I took a moment to scan the area; it was still pretty early in the evening so the place was somewhat quiet, however I knew things would change once the lads finished work piling in the bar. But it was something I loved, this bar was the heart of the town.

As soon as I was behind the counter I abandoned my chicken nuggets on the side before placing a clean mug under the spout of the coffee machine, pressing the green button on the front of the appliance to make Pops a fresh brew. He rarely drank alcohol now, so we always made sure we had a good stock of fresh coffee grounds and soft drinks, not only for him but for Elenor, too.

Looking up from the machine, my heart melted as I watched Jax with his daughter. Elenor brought out a completely different side to him. When he was with her he became softer, watched his language and didn’t drink too much. Initially it was weird seeing Jax completely change, but it always made me smile. She definitely made him a better man.

My mind was spinning with what Elenor had revealed to me upstairs, my worries were getting worse when it came to Pops’ health. Now he was calling Elenor by my name. I had a strong feeling things were only going to get worse. I needed to speak to him; I needed to understand what was going on with him right now even if he wasn’t going to make any sense. Looking over to the booth that Pops was sitting in I saw a bright smile on his face, one I hadn’t seen for a couple of days, it always warmed my heart. But the main thing I noticed was he wasn’t sitting alone, there were two people sitting with him, both with their backs to the bar.

Taking a deep breath, I left them to it not wanting to disrupt the conversation that was causing Pops to be this ecstatic.

“He looks happy,” Chibs whispered, placing his hand on my shoulder.

“Yeah, he does. So anything I should know?” I asked, changing the subject, glancing at Chibs over my shoulder.

“Nope, you are all good to take over, lass,” Chibs winked, leaning against the bar, pulling the beer bottle to his lips. He was hiding something from me, the smirk on his face gave that away, in fact I knew when all the club members were keeping things from me, one of the numerous benefits of being brought up around the MC. Raising my brow at him, he just shook his head quickly changing the conversation. “Tig isn’t joining us tonight, so it's gonna be a quiet one.”

“Tiggy isn’t gracing us with his presence, has hell frozen over?” I chuckled, as I finished the coffee. “I swear he props the bar up most nights.”

“I think one of his kids is in town for a couple of days,” Chibs shrugged.

“Which one?”

“The crazy one.”

“Again which one?” I chuckled, cocking my brow at my favorite Scotsman.

When it came to Tig and his girls we all knew it was best not to interfere, letting him do what he needed to do because the last time one of us got involved it got messy.

It didn’t take long for the coffee to be ready but before I had a chance to take it over to Pops, Chibs had already picked the mug up from the counter. “Oh and lass, you never know who might be in the bar tonight,” he smirked, throwing me a wink as he exited the bar making his way through the room to join Pops and whoever was sharing the booth with him.

Shaking off his words I quickly found myself busy tending the bar along with serving food, even though Tig wasn’t gracing us with his presence tonight the place still had a buzz about it. Scanning the room I was greeted with the familiar faces of people I grew up with, most nights it was filled with members of the MC. This was practically our home, if you couldn’t find one of the guys around town, you knew they would be here.

More of the locals joined us when we hosted themed nights, quiz and karaoke evenings were definitely the most popular. I loved it when this place was packed, the sounds of everyone talking, laughing and having a good time with their friends and family.

It also made the hours pass quickly.

However, no matter what I did I couldn’t shake the feeling of worry, I needed to speak to Jax about Pops. We needed to sit down and work out what we were going to tell Elenor but we needed to figure it out sooner rather than later.

Eventually things quietened down, the mad rush of everyone finishing work had passed, giving me a chance to catch my breath, looking over to where Pops was sitting, noticing that his guests had left. Quickly I grabbed the two mugs of fresh coffee before making my way over the booth, sliding into the cherry red leather, automatically resting my head on his shoulder.

“How was your evening?” I asked, letting the familiar smell of coffee and aftershave wash over me.

“Pretty amazing, my sweet Nova,” Pops beamed. Pulling away from him I looked up noticing how wide his smile was, he had that sparkle back in his eyes. “I spent the whole evening talking to Charles Leclerc and Pierre Gasly.”

I had just taken a large sip of coffee as he spoke, his words caught me off guard causing me to choke on the caffeinated liquid.

The realization finally hit me like a ton of bricks, he had completely lost his mind.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to ignore the feeling of my stomach twisting into a tight knot. I knew there was no way he had spent the evening talking to two drivers that he had spent two hours watching on the TV.

“Of course you did Pops,” I mumbled, trying to mask my worry with a strangled laugh. “Let me go find Jax, he is your ride home tonight.”

Pushing myself to my feet I scurried back behind the bar, bouncing on the balls of my feet whilst I waited for Jax to finish conversation with Chibs. I found myself holding back tears as I tried to calm myself down. I was normally pretty good at holding it together and not showing any emotion to the outside world but right now I was failing.

Suddenly Jax was now standing in front of me, wrapping his arms around me providing a sense of comfort. Yes, me and Jax fought like biological siblings but when it came down to it I knew I could count on him when I felt weak and needed someone to be strong for me for once.

“Where’s your head at Squirt?” Jax hummed, guiding me from behind the bar and out onto the patio terrace.

“Can you take Pops home please?” I sniffled, pulling away from him, leaning against the wall. Automatically I ran my hands over my face before speaking again, Jax extended his hand holding out a smoke which I gratefully took. “I’m worried, Pops is getting worse. Tonight he told me he spent the evening talking to Leclerc and Gasly.”

“As in Charles Leclerc and Pierre Gasly?” Jax mocked, cocking his brow at me. There was something about the look on his face, I couldn't quite place. Normally I was pretty good at reading my brother but right now I was struggling.

“Yuup,” I hummed, popping the ‘p’, ignoring his playful tone. Right now wasn’t the time for him to be joking. “My head is spinning right now, he is getting worse. I don’t know if I have time to focus on Pops, the bar, and the cafe. I feel like I am drowning. I think we need to look at getting outside help.”

The moment the words left my lips I felt the bile rise in my throat. I hated myself for even saying them. Teller’s never quit on family, but saying those words made me feel like I was giving up on him, when in reality I was just struggling to keep my head above water. The look on Jax’s face changed, this look was something I knew all too well, it was a look that told me he felt guilty.

“Nova,” Jax breathed, draping his arm around my shoulder, pressing a kiss against my temple. “You deserve a break more than any of us. I know the last couple of weeks, hell even the past year with the custody hearings, I haven’t been around much and I am so fucking sorry,” his voice was quiet as he spoke. “I will take Pops home, don’t worry about anything else but the bar tonight. Tomorrow we will sit down and work out what we need to do to help him.”

Taking a deep breath, I silently nodded at Jax. “I just hope tomorrow is a better day,” I whispered.

“It will be, Squirt,” Jax hummed, “think positive. We are in this together, till the wheels fall off, remember.”

Hours had passed, the work was steady which I was grateful for however I desperately needed sleep. Over the last month I had been opening up the cafe followed by a closing shift at the bar. Both businesses were short staffed due to people taking vacation time and illness, meaning I had to spread myself thin to make sure both establishments kept bringing in income for the club. I could have asked for help getting some of the prospects in to take some of the pressure off but the truth was I didn’t trust them. They hadn’t been patched yet and a lot of them still had to prove their loyalty to the club.

The moment I had put the lock on the main doors of the bar I let out a huge sigh of relief that was until I looked around the bar seeing the glasses scattered across the tables. The prospects that had been chosen to help around the bar really hadn’t pulled their weight this evening, confirming my decision not to ask for any help. I was definitely going to be having words with Jax about it.

Glancing at the time I groaned knowing that by the time I had finished the clean up it would be well past 2am, so once I had gotten to bed I would only end up having a couple of hours sleep before I had to be up to get the cafe ready for opening.

It made me wonder if it was even worth going to sleep tonight.

“Nova, go home,” Bobby said, appearing from the direction of the kitchen. He already had the large black plastic tub that we used for collecting the glasses tucked under his arms. “I’ve got this, you go get yourself in bed, sweetheart. The last thing we need is you collapsing from exhaustion.”

“You sure?” I asked, trying to hide the yarn that escaped from my lips.

“Absolutely,” he said, flashing me a soft smile.

Right now I was so grateful, I hated abandoning ship but I knew I could never win this fight with Bobby. He was someone that once he had set his mind on something you couldn’t do anything about it.

It didn’t take me long to round my things up, not when it comprised my phone, smokes, car keys and lighter. Slipping everything into my pockets I strolled over to Bobby giving him a hug.

As I was making my way out of the bar Bobby started speaking again. “I’m proud of you sweetheart, you acted better than we all expected tonight.”

“What are you on about?” I laughed, cocking my eyebrow at him in confusion.

“We were graced with the presence of your favorite Formula One driver tonight,” he said with a large smirk firmly planted on his face.

Great first Pops and now Bobby, was everyone losing their mind in this town?

I had two options: play along with it or call him out on him going crazy. After weighing up my options I decided to go along with this crazy story.

“I know right! I can’t believe they chose our small town, let alone our bar,” I squealed over dramatically whilst rolling my eyes. “Maybe they will come back tomorrow, we will fall madly in love before running off into the sunset together!”

“Kiddo with how the boy was checking you out, it wouldn’t surprise me if he became a regular,” Bobby replied, with a large smirk on his face.

“You’ve been reading Elenor too many stories, old man,” I scoffed, once again rolling my eyes at him. There was no way on this earth that two talented formula one drivers were in the bar let alone checking me out. “Maybe I need to send you with Pops to the memory clinic.”

“Sweetheart, he definitely was, I swear Jax was moments away from ripping his throat out with the way Leclerc was running his eyes over your body,” he chuckled, a large smirk gracing his face as he continued to collect glasses.

“Goodnight, you crazy old man, I will text you the details of Pops’ next appointment,” I hollered over my shoulder, making my way to the back exit.

For what felt like the millionth time this evening my mind was spinning.

Was it fuck with Nova day or something?

Clambering in the driver's seat of my old truck I rested my forehead against the steering wheel, I desperately needed sleep. I knew I would be fine in the morning and this would just be a bad dream.

The drive home went by in a blur, a small smile appeared on my face as I noticed Jax had left the porch light on for me. No matter how many times he did this it always warmed my heart.

All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep, but there was something playing on my mind. I needed to know if Pops and Bobby were telling the truth because if they were I had made a complete fool of myself from the moment me and Jax got back from dirt biking. I just prayed that if he was in the bar, he wasn’t there when I was reciting Crofty’s commentary from Monza. Because if he was then I could never show my face in the bar again.

@withmyteeth @chibsytelford @stillbreathin @danzer8705 @keyweegirlie @celestialams @dragon-of-winterfell @ohthemisssery @a-distantdreamer @sgkophie @angywritesstuff @enchantedbytomandhenry @scribbuluswrites @dangerouspursepeachbear @buendiabebeta @ferrarifwendvale @theplobnrgone @charlesleclercje @queenslife @panicforspec @inesramoss30 @justme2042 @liv67 @derpinathebrave @clcspeonies @pleasantducktimetravel @raaaaabzzz @mehrmonga @sbgal @fangirl-lb @pitconfirmbutton @oslokij @tall-tanned-tattoo @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @pumpkin-spice-hate @talicat713 @band--psycho @little-diable @i-love-scott-mccall @fourthwallhateclub @theysayitscrazy @rosieposie0624 @choochoo284 @meteora-fc @beeroses @darklydeliciousdesires @the-jer-bear @extraneousred @youflickedtooharddamnit @babypink224221

#charles leclerc #Charles Leclerc x oc #Charles Leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #sons of anarchy #jax teller #jax teller x reader #jax teller imagine #Jax teller x sister reader

[edenfenixblogs]

Personal life stuff

It’s been so funny to track my mom’s ideas around me being an SMBC. It’s all gone about how I expected (generally my mom takes awhile to come around on things), but the specifics are hilarious. It’s also a study in how (many) Jewish mothers demonstrate support. *

Bringing it up about 1.5 years ago | Mom: this is the worst idea you’ll change your mind babies are expensive babies are hard don’t do this here is a list of every medical issue related to pregnancy by the way are you sure your aspec cuz this would be easier with a partner have you thought about…

Digesting info about a year ago | Mom: I will not speak about this I don’t want to talk about this I will not deal with it you cannot make me

After I told her “This is happening with or without your support, so get on board or don’t interact with your future grandkid,” about ten months ago | Mom: If you’re gonna have a kid here is a list of things to take care of both health wise and financially beforehand

After talking to a friend of hers about my goals, about 9 months ago | Mom: My friend S is an SMBC. I want you to talk to her about your goals cuz she has insight I don’t.

After her friend told her what we talked about (which I fully expected), about 9 moths ago | Mom: S seems to think you know what you’re doing. But where are you on that list I gave you.

After talking to my aunt who already has grandkids about my goals, about 8 months ago | Mom: Your aunt is excited for you. Here are several articles I’ve read about baby proofing your home.

A month later | Mom: Here are Instagram videos of cute babies.

A month after that | Mom: …your office would be a good nursery.

A month after that | Mom: You should pick a sperm donor with a different ethnic background. Let’s avoid passing on the same anxiety to the next generation. (Note from Eden: Don’t worry. I know it is not advised to stray too far into different ethnicities so kiddo doesn’t feel disconnected from the parent they do have access to. I know kiddo is going to want answers about their cultural history and body and genetics and I wanna be able to fill in those gaps. I do my research don’t freak out, friends.)

A month after that | Mom: Don’t name your kid [Insert name], because it reminds me of someone terrible.

A month after that | Mom: You know, if you move home you might be able to move up your timeline on when to start TTC.

Two months ago | Mom: One good thing about moving home is that I’ll be closer to help you with pregnancy.

Last month | Mom: If you get a house near me, then your kid will be in walking distance of grandma’s house.

Today | Mom: Did you know that for the cost of raising a child for one year, you could have SIX DOGS?! (I told her ideally I’d have two kids) YOU COULD HAVE TWELVE DOGS!**

* For the record, the entire time, my dad’s response has been: “I didn’t know you wanted kids. Cool! Good luck!” Lmao

** This is especially funny because I have a dog now and it took her a year to come around to the idea of me having a dog at all.

It just really makes me laugh. The journey from hard opposition to concern trolling to concern supporting to blatant support and joking is such a funny journey to me.

#SMBC journey #personal

[autumnillustration]

Hey! I was obsessed with Kingdom of Heaven for a time - and Baldwin was definitely the focus of the obsession. And for good reason, masked enigmatic figures are great. The Leper from Darkest Dungeon is a great riff on the character if you want more of the same vibes. I've done a bit of research on the Zengid Dynasty, and would love to know more about your OCs place in their somewhat messy family dynamics

Hey! 😁 That’s a fun question!

I’ll admit, I’m no expert in the Zengid/Ayyubid dynasties and their messy family dynamics, but I definitely had to do some reading at Atefeh’s inception to figure out how and where she would fit in Saladin’s family. I've opted for some serious creative licensing and alternate history, but I’ve set my mad ideas out in dot points:

She's the eldest child of Saladin. His only daughter, with seventeen boys to follow her. (I know Saladin had only one recorded daughter and that she married her cousin. But I'm scrapping that and sticking to Atte being Saladin's one and only daughter).

Atefeh is the daughter of Saladin and his cousin-wife (a political marriage), who died in childbirth.

Atefeh is sent to Jerusalem as a political hostage at the age of six (6). Hence, she doesn't know her half-brothers (who were all born after this event).

She is not part of her brothers' early lives, so they don't trust her. The world says Atefeh of Jerusalem is a Christian sympathiser:

At the age of thirteen, she stood up in front of the Latin court of Jerusalem, forsook her father, and proclaimed her support for King Baldwin IV, newly crowned (the alternative was that the Crusaders took her head off for her father's war-mongering. But over the years, whispers flood the Levant and Outremer: Saladin's seed rules Jerusalem in all but name—the Uncrowned Queen of Jerusalem.)

Despite these events, her father asks her younger brothers to trust her (everyone thinks Saladin mad to still trust the daughter he gave away to Christendom. Though his trust pays off in the end).

Her first interaction with her half-brothers is with Al-Afdal (Saladin's oldest son). She's not impressed (he's two sips shy of a drunken lecher). There's nothing of their father in him except the ghost of his handsome face.

She meets the second son, Uthman, at a later date and believes he is a far better candidate to succeed Saladin. He studies the histories and philosophies (a favoured student of Imad's) but is far too hot-headed and impulsive. The third son, Az-Zahir, is every inch their father, though. Out of all her brothers, Az-Zahir is best suited to succeed their father, but the line of succession must be observed.

Eventually, family dynamics get really messy when Baldwin and Saladin manage to broker something more permanent between their two worlds. Then, the line of succession changes completely—Saladin wants Baldwin's daughter to marry one of Al-Afdal's sons. But Sybilla's son (little Baldwin) has something to say about that once he reaches his majority.

It's some COMPLICATED FAMILY DYNAMICS giving the Targaryens a run for their money.

However, with all this said in fun and games, I wish to make it clear that I fully respect the seriousness and am horrified by what is happening in these lands today.

“I warn you against shedding blood, indulging in it and making a habit of it, for blood never sleeps.” — Saladin.

#yo my historian buddies are probs having a stroke with this post #my “creative licensing” really just constitutes simplifying history and messing around with it #autumn answers #'From Eden' series #lady atefeh salahuddin (oc) #baldwin iv

[certifieddilfenjoyer]

In Plain Sight - an interactive Gus FringxGN!Reader

============================ How does it work? At the end of every chapter, you will be presented with a hyperlink, disguised as a dialogue or action option, which will then lead you to a chapter following your choice and so on and so forth :)) Please let me know what u think (please don't sh#! on me choosing the xGN! instead of xBoy, I wanna enjoy my story as well lol) ============================ INFO: ============================ Yes, there are going to be smut chapters involved at some point. You can expect tags like: (MDNI!!!)

Domination, degradation, submission, power imbalance, sexual tension, hate fuck, choking, bondage, recording the deed, manhandling, hair pulling, dragging across the floor, Gus being the only receiver, etc etc.

The course of chapters, so smutty stuff as well, depends on your choices. If you read through the fanfic once, you can always come back to this main page and try other options! :D

The action is happening during BCS, not necessarily Breaking Bad (but I so badly wanna do something with the boxcutter, well, we will see), so you can expect appearances or mentions of Lalo, Nacho, etc. (but I don't like them so it's Gus focused) and there's gonna be Mike! <3 Now, the fanfic is not fully finished, so if you don't see the hyperlink at the bottom, it simply means that I haven't added the chapters yet. Please be patient <3 <3 ============================= UNFORTUNATELY it turns out that Tumblr does not support my idea completely as every time I edit a post, the URL of the said post changes which is incredibly bad as the more I write the more chapters I'd need to edit each time. Because of that I have moved this project to my blog that I created specifically for this and future x Reader projects: https://xrdr.blogspot.com/

You adjust the headphones in your ear and feel your heart sink as you fight to recover balance on your bicycle. You take a deep breath of fresh, moist air with a heavy scent of rain and turn the handle bar to the left. You pass through a big rain puddle and speed up, allowing your bike to gain momentum as you continue down the road. In the distance, a big glowing logo casts a cone of yellow hue on the glossy street. You feel your heart speed up as you try to go through all the possible questions that employers usually ask during an interview.

As you turn your bike to the parking lot of the fast food restaurant - Los Pollos Hermanos - you anxiously check if your pant legs got dirty. You sigh with relief and drive your bike to the bicycle stand and secure it there with a key chain. You brush your hands across the fabric of your clean, light blue shirt and enter the building. It's most deserted, probably due to the bad weather and the late afternoon hour.

You nod at the employees, currently taking care of the kitchen and the dining area. They nod back and one of them appears in front of the counter, waiting to take your order. You take a quick glance at the person and suddenly you become hyper-aware of all of his facial features. You want to inspect his entire face, but you know damn well it would be weird and most likely make him uncomfortable.

'Hello, I am here for the job interview. I was told that I will be speaking to the manager named Monica.'

The man smiles at you in the most heart-warming way you've seen in your life.

'Monica is unable to attend due to personal reasons. I will be taking over your interview process.'

'I see,' you nod and offer him your hand. 'Y/N.'

'Gustavo Fring,' he introduces himself and takes your hand into his. You can feel the strength resonating off his body and the hard texture of his palms. 'Nice to meet you.'

The name rings a bell immediately. You remember that Monica introduced the Los Pollos Hermanos brand to you over the phone and his name was mentioned at least once.

'Nice to meet you too, sir. Are you the owner of the food chain?'

'Yes.'

'Oh, I'm sure you're busy then. If Monica called in to cancel, I can be rescheduled as well,' you suggest.

'That's not going to be necessary, but I do appreciate your consideration,' he gives you a smaller smile, still just as warm as the first one.

You respond with the same expression and look to the side a moment later, feeling butterflies in your stomach. You blame it on the thrill of the new job interview and look back at the man. His eyes seem like an endless void, which immediately sinks you in.

'Do you need any more time?' he asks.

'No, but I'd like to wash my hands first,' you inform him and look around the restaurant. He lowers his gaze onto your face, observing you for a moment with a lingering smirk.

'It's over there,' Gustavo says after a few seconds, extending his arm to his right side.

You nod and turn on your heel, then go to the bathroom. As you catch your reflection in the mirror, you notice a small blush on your face.

'Oh my God,' you roll your eyes and turn on the tap, then wash your hands with soap.

When you return to Gustavo, he leads you to his office at the back of the building. The room is fairly small, with a small window above his desk. There is almost no sunlight sinking inside the office and it has a weirdly hostile vibe to it, even though the owner looks like nothing else but a sweetheart.

'Please, take a seat.'

You sit down at the chair and adjust yourself in the seat, then straighten your back, while Gustavo sits on his chair in front of you, immediately taking on a perfect posture. You can feel your heartbeat speed up as he opens up the lid of his laptop and you can see a small reflection of your resume in his thin-framed glasses.

'Let's begin, Y/N.' You nod enthusiastically and he gives you an encouraging smile as his eyes come back to yours. 'I don't usually review resumes of candidates without any previous experience in gastronomy.'

A slight hint of worry flashes through your face, immediately noticed by Gustavo.

'Can you tell me why you decided to make an exception?'

He makes a pause and observes you for a while. The single ray of the sun, sinking through the window behind him, falls onto his neck, creating a shadow of his figure, which is reaching all the way across the wooden desk towards your clasped palms.

'We are in need of employees. We are planning to expand to another restaurant soon and some of my employees from the restaurant in which we are sitting are going to be transferred, as it is closer to their home address.'

'Congratulations on the expansion!' you throw in the comment.

'Thank you very much,' he responds. 'What made me accept your resume is the fact that you live near this area, but mostly it was the fact that I realized that you are a foreigner, correct?'

'Um, yes,' you are taken aback by his question and you mask your discomfort before it gets noticed. 'I came here from New Mexico.'

'I'm from Chile. I know how hard it is to get your first job here, that's why I decided to give you a shot,' he admits.

'That is so very kind of you,' you say openly.

Gustavo raises his hands and connects them in front of his chin.

'But hard or not, I am going to treat everyone equally, without giving anyone a head start.'

'Understandable.'

'Because you do not have any prior experience with customers, can you tell me, if perhaps at school or in other areas in your life, have you encountered a difficult situation, a conflict that you managed to solve?'

Even though before coming to the interview, you had multiple sessions of talking to yourself in front of a mirror, preparing possible answers for usual interview questions, you cannot help but feel a little sting of stress at the question. Your mind presents you with a flash of an image, a painful memory of a rainy night and the car lights aimed straight at your face. There is an older man standing in front of you and a much younger one to his side.

'Y-yea,' you answer and clear your throat. 'Sorry. I remember solving a conflict in my classroom, where three of the top students wanted to take the responsibilities of being the class president. I suggested a class vote to clear the confusion. The other time I also stopped a fight between two classmates.'

'How exactly did you achieve that?'

'They were arguing about some girl. I went in between them,' you respond and see his eyebrows rise slightly. 'I know, a risky move, but it was worth it. They cooled down a bit, didn't hit each other and I just listened to both of their stories. It turned out - I don't remember the context now - but it turned out that they misunderstood each other.'

Both of the stories are made up, but Gustavo Fring doesn't have to know that. He doesn't need to be made aware of the fact that your cartel family never allowed you in a public school and that you are home-schooled. He also shouldn't be made aware of your fake ID that you used for your resume.

'How would you deal with a customer who reports incorrectly prepared food? For example undercooked chicken wings?'

You look to the side, then let your eyes wander across the wall and up to the ceiling, as you make a slow, quiet humming noise, thinking about the answer.

'Do I see the food that this imaginary customer reports?'

'Let's assume that in this particular scenario, you do.'

'Ok, so I wouldn't check the recipe, because I can see the plate, so I ask them nicely what is wrong with the food.'

''It's disgusting' - that's what the customer is saying,' Gustavo responds with a shadow of a smile on his face.

''I really want to help you in this situation, but I need some more information, please. Is it not to your liking in taste or is the quality disappointing and how?' that's what I would ask, or something similar,' you clarify.

'The quality is disappointing, because the meat is partially raw.'

'I am very sorry to hear that, would you like to receive a refund of your chicken wings order or a special offer for our menu?' you respond, choosing your words carefully. You look for validation on his face, but it is unreadable.

'Would you not try the chicken wings yourself to verify their honesty, Y/N?' he asks after a moment. I would or I wouldn't

#interactive #interactive fiction #fanfic #gustavo fring #breaking bad #x reader #gn reader #gus fring #gus #mike ehrmantraut #hector salamanca #lalo salamanca

[charlie-rulerofhell]

Lord of the Lost - The electric plug of the iron maiden

So yesterday I stumbled across this interview with Chris in the new Sonic Seducer magazine. It was pretty short and didn't exactly give us the most specactular news, but as always, Chris had some nice things to say (such as about the bass track on 'The Curtain Falls', speaking up politically or participating at ESC again (ARD, I'm staring at you very intensely, you know what to do!)). And since I was on a short train ride anyway, I used the time to type down some translation for you all. Enjoy!

Lord of the Lost

The electric plug of the iron maiden*

(* the article purposefully doesn't use the band name 'Iron Maiden' here, but the literal German translation 'Eiserne Jungfrau', probably because the journalist thinks they're funny)

Christoph Kutzer

The very moment that the ESC-hype has cooled down, Lord of the Lost are back to continuous operation on various stages. Whether it's at the Agra hall of the WGT or in the Nokia Arena of Finnish Tampere: Energetic live shows are guaranteed. Then there are also the new songs on the extended edition of 'Blood and Glitter'. Chris Harms talked to us about the most recent events, the bass of Iron Maiden's subwoofer Steve Harris and about how Michael Jackson's guitarist found her way to a LOTL record.

Question: Right now, you are constantly alternating between playing club shows, festivals and support shows for Iron Maiden. Isn't that quite a challenge?

Chris: For us as a band it doesn't really matter where we're playing. It's very common to play at different festivals for a varying amount of stage time, on smaller and bigger stages. So we're used to that for a while now. Actually, all the logistics have become easier for us, since we now have an own crew member for every position and every thing that needs to be done. We [as a band] do not have to set up the stage nor do we need to take it down. Sometimes, the moment that the concert begins is the first time that I enter the stage, which I haven't even seen all day long. This way, we as a band get the chance to fully concentrate on doing what we're actually there for: making music. Plus, it offers many well-payed jobs for all the lovely people of our crew. For them of course, this modular setup is a challenge, with all the planning that needs to be done and the stage itself as a construction site, when you play a Maiden show one day, a club show the other, and then on the third day some open air concert.

Question: You are now touring with Iron Maiden for the second time. Have you noticed any differences in the audience?

Chris: That's hard to tell at this point, because as of now we only had one proper Maiden show this year, which took place in Tampere, Finland. We did know the Finnish audience since 2010, but only from festivals or performing as headliners, so it was definitely a different experience. But we'll continue our journey with Maiden in the next days. Just today, we have arrived in England, right now I'm enjoying the evening sun on some English highway rest stop, roughly hundred kilometres north of London.

Question: Did something change for you concerning the requirements? Did your show get bigger? The venues do have impressive sizes …

Chris: Well, the internal setup of Maiden's stage is the same as last year, it might just look different to the outside. This is why we could keep the foundation of our 2022 setup, while implementing some reasonable expansions. To make this tour, we had to ramp up quite a bit, because we practically have to offer a complete production where every single plug is our own. Maiden just gives us one big power plug, and they attach us to their light and sound system, but the rest is ours. Iron Maiden have a great, kind and helpful crew, we made some beautiful friendships there, and it's always an amazing teamwork.

Question: For the shows, you have brought a new opener, 'The Curtain Falls'. I was impressed by everything Klaas is playing there. Is that some hidden reference to Steve Harris?

Chris: Well, it actually is to some degree. After the Maiden tour of last year, I bought myself Steve Harris's signature model of the Fender P-Bass, kind of as a memory to this alleged once-in-a-lifetime experience. So this led to me writing one song on this exact bass, imagining the kind of song that I would like to open the summer shows with. I wanted to write something that, in my eyes, would be the perfect opener. That's how 'The Curtain Falls' came to be. And since all these bass lines from the demo in which I played every instrument on my own have shaped the song so much, we actually kept my original bass track for the final version of the song. Klaas said: 'Let's keep your track, it has so much spontaneity and soul, you cannot reproduce that for the album version. But I'm looking forward to playing that live.'

Question: Were 'The Curtain Falls' and 'noituLOVEr' only produced after the original record was completed? Since both songs are just on the newest edition.

Chris: Exactly, both songs were written when 'Blood & Glitter' had already been in press. All the other new songs were actually recorded together with the rest of the album in Finland, March 2022, but we wanted to keep them for the extended version. It would have been too many duets for the main record.

Question: One of those features has the guitarist Jennifer Batten, who has become quite a legend with her collaboration with Michael Jackson.

Chris: A friend of mine is playing the bass in Jennifer's solo band. He told me that she really enjoyed LOTL when he showed her some tracks that one time. So I gathered all my courage and asked him to ask her for a guest solo. She said 'yes' immediately. The little boy in me who had watched this legendary 'Live in Bukarest' concert of Michael Jackson on tv back then in the 90s, and who totally lost it seeing Jennifer Batten play, was very very happy once we found out that Jennifer would actually be part of a LOTL track.

Question: Since we're already at special moments: How did you experience your performance this year at WGT? Was that a little bit like coming home?

Chris: In a way, WGT is always like coming home. But this year I could finally put this really big checkmark behind another dream: For one time, being the headliner at WGT at the Agra hall.

Question: But apart from scene borders, you actually have one of the most colourful audiences you could imagine in front of a stage. Is the typical Lord of the Lost fan willing to face all these new surprises? Like the glitter currently, which might not have been that expected?

Chris: Hm. I think the glitter was actually not that surprising at all. It has always been a part of us. Maybe not to this extent or this concentrated. Also, luckily there is no typical Lord of the Lost fan. All of them are so unbelievably diverse, and I think that's fantastic!

Question: In November, you will play at Gothic Meets Klassik again. Then there is the LORDFEST in December. I would imagine both events to be very preparation-heavy. Where do you get all that time from?

Chris: Well, the Gothic Meets Klassik event has been prepared for years. We were supposed to play there in 2020 or 2021, I cannot properly recall, but then it had to be postponed. So all the notes have already been written. For everything else, we do have three rehearsal days in Leipzig, right before the show. That's it. Which means that the hardest part of the preparation for me right now is to actually buy a nice suit. For the LORDFEST, most of the preparation is done by our crew and the local production, so it's all in the hands of other people who'll get the instruction from us to arrange everything as we want it to be, and within a certain given budget. The only thing we need to do is come up with a setlist, get in touch with some surprise guests, then rehearse for two or three days, and then we can already get on stage.

Question: I feel like over the years you have taken a more and more political stance. Was that just not this visible before when you hadn't yet been this much in the spotlight or was there a growing need not to leave certain things uncommented?

Chris: I have always been someone who wouldn't keep quiet about these things, but back then I was quicker to get intimidated by those people who tell you to 'make music and not politics', which is utter bullshit of course. Apart from that, I gotta say that I still don't see it as political to think that Nazis are shit. But yeah, when I have to stand up and fight for a freer, more tolerant and sympathetic world, then I will always do that. Online and in real life.

Question: Will you be watching the upcoming ESC together as a band event and revel in your memories?

Chris: If we do find the time, we will do that. But even more importantly, we will apply again every single year. Even when it's practically a given that we won't be allowed to participate again after having come last once. But the experience was so awesome, we need to have that again!

#lord of the lost #lotl #chris harms #sonic seducer #my translation

[coolspork]

Dude, you celebrated Aaron Bushnell’s suicide. You’re clearly not connected to your Judaism in any way if you can’t even comprehend the basic idea of Pikuach Nefesh. I hope you grow and learn not to celebrate people killing themselves

Sincerely, a former (yay!) suicidal Jew who actually cares about human life

Hi. I am glad to hear you are no longer suicidal, it's not a good place to be, I know from personal experience.

On to your main point. I don't feel that I am in any way "celebrating" the death of Aaron Bushnell, at least not in any positive light surrounding the fact that he died. I think what he did was horrifying and I think that's the point. Preservation of human life is an incredibly important thing to be mindful of especially during a war, and I truly believe that was something he was fully aware of. I didn't know him personally, I guess I can never say with absolute certainty why he did it, but with all the available evidence I feel confident in saying that his goal WAS to preserve human lives. I grew up surrounded by US military culture and service members and I understand the significance of an American soldier in an American uniform doing something like that while making those statements. I understand that his life was lost and that that in and of itself is a fucking tragedy, but I think the impact he has had will save more lives in the bigger picture.

The US military and police have incredibly close ties with the IDF to the point that I *know* non-jewish, non-israeli, antisemitic people here in America who have personally worked and trained with the IDF and support them uncritically. The US military is one of our government's "greatest" assets (much sarcasm) when it comes to political power and the culture surrounding the military is extremely strong. If attitudes about what's happening in Gaza were to shift within those spheres it would bring incredible change to a movement with the interest in protecting human life.

Self immolation has been used as a form of protest before. Aaron Bushnell's is not unique, it is just the most recent and named case. A woman who self-immolated in Georgia has been in critical condition since December and I truly hope she survives. It is something that has occured on record for thousands of years. I don't hold the belief that this is a practice to be encouraged or advocated for, I think it is a very jarring wake up call, especially in the society we live in today. I think the fact that you and I are so absolutely horrified at the thought of it *is the point*. He was a white male US service member. People who were refusing to acknowledge lives lost in Gaza were forced to name him because of his privileged position AS a white male US service member. I think that what he did was an incredibly brave and selfless sacrifice and that to try and bury his actions is disrespectful to that sacrifice. No one should have to go to such extremes to get their government's attention.

The fact that this is horrifying, especially to those that put a lot of value in pikuach nefesh and similar values in other cultures is the fucking point. I cannot save that man, what happened has already happened. The only thing I, as a random person on the internet, can do is use the momentum his sacrifice created to try to save more lives in the coming months by putting pressure on the military industrial complex that he publicly refused to support.

What he did was horrifying, and that is the fucking point.

Edit: I know this is an extremely controversial topic and people have a variety of reasons to agree or disagree with his actions. I don't expect everyone to support what he did, but I at least would hope you could see why he did it

#free palestine #aaron bushnell #goyim don't derail

[angstics]

this post is about "father", a song name attributed to a few existing black parade songs.

first, it isnt an unreleased song. the oct 2006 comments under the title's page on songmeanings.com tell a short story of how the user who added the song to the website grabbed it off of limewire. the lyrics were originally for "the end", as indicated by another commenter. the original poster said limewire mislabeled "the end" as "father" then edited the lyrics to be what they are now -- an off sample of "i dont love you". they source the mcrmymusic myspace page for the new lyrics. i can not find any post on the site about it.

"father" is also mentioned in the songfacts.com page for "the end", by both bailey from nj and indigo from australia. indigo says: "I always thought [The End] was called Father until i bought the actual cd and it was changed to The End." i think this may be consequence of limewire, or similar sites / programs, mislabeling the song. all these varied accounts point to the same conclusion that "the end" was called "father" at some point.

so, where did this mislabeling come from?

gerard way introduced a song as "father" at the march 2006 secret show mcr performed at sxsw for shirts for a cure (their friend and photographer beemer's charity project that supports people with breast cancer). this post by @ephedrineshot is a great primer on the show. basically, they came out unannounced and performed a short set including some new songs that turned out to be for their next record, the black parade.

here's a quote about the event in blender mag (june 2006), courtesy of ephedrineshot (full page):

the article frames it like this: gerard announces a "new, unrehearsed" song called "father" then says "we're going to regret this". i havent found any other account of this speech. in this video before starting what we know now as "the end", gerard says, "this got bad idea written all over it". though the quote in blender mag is different, the sentiment is the same. concert speech transcriptions are not fully reliable.

most of this could be found through a google search. well, livejournal is Designed to be impossible to search (at least to me). while browsing the community chemicalromance, i came across this post from july 27, 2006:

it's a direct transcript of my chem performing "the end" at sxsw -- most importantly the identical "wave your fucking arms" line. based on the post and comments, there seems to be a lost video that at some point connected "the end" to "father" -- whether it be in the gerard speech described in blender or video details like title / description.

at some point, the black parade began with the song "father". it sounded a lot like "the end". it'd be identical lyrically if not for the line "you've made your conclusion / just call me a fag" and the missing final verse.

there's another interesting change that you almost cant catch in the video because of the bad audio quality. in the ew article on the show, they say: "As the slobbering faithful chanted 'one more song' after the band’s initial exit, MCR returned to unveil a new, partially complete opus. Featuring a 'na-na-na' finale that had the crowd instantly singing along, the song suggested an even more pop-friendly future for the rambunctious quintet." basing my knowledge of the show from the setlist.fm page, i couldnt figure out how CANCER of all songs would have an audience singalong part. either setlist.fm or ew is wrong about the setlist because at 0:45 of the video, when gerard tells the crowd to wave their fucking arms, you can hear him and the audience exchange "na-na-na"'s. if i had to trust one source over the other, id go with ew.

more about the show: austin chronicle 1 | austin chronicle 2 | punknews | metrosiliconvalley

#mcr #mcr: 2006 #mcr music analysis #mcr: research #the my chem secret show was leaked in the punknews article’s comments by some pissed off dudes 😭 #colin in those comments is a writer for the site who later gives black parade a 5/10 paired w a baffling review

[kittydrawz17real]

"THE CONFESSION."

(WARNING)

This contains spoilers for the animation, this is only for the voice actor, these are the voice lines, proceed at your own risk, otherwise, Enjoy!

( - The camera opens up, glitching a bit. - )

"come on, this is the only way to say my confession instead of writing it, if I made this slow, this corruption might take over and I might be an Anomaly for my whole life!"

( - She steps back. - )

" Ermm.. it's.. working now.. "

"Thank God, I have to make this quick, otherwise I might be "His" follower..."

"M-my name is Ellie, I came from another dimension, I had.. well, i had 2 best friends, but am not in their picture because I got a sickness earlier, but I recovered quickly. "

(- she is tearing up. - ) "I have... trauma, more worse then people watching this video tape, I got bullied at school, I only have 2 best friends, My teacher, parents and my best friends are the only people supporting me, I cant sleep at night, i cant get this depression out of me, I am deceased with this corruption..."

( - The camera screen turns black, but it's still recording. - )

" I can't take this anymore.. "

( - She is whimpering, breathing heavily. - )

"ack.. it's just taken half of my body, but it won't make my personality different.. I hope it doesn't fully change my appearance, otherwise.... I need some rest, am exhausted.. this my confession. "

( - the recording stops. -)

#late to school roblox #... #For a animation

[cashthecomposer]

Want to support new, original musical theatre? Check out my Patreon!

I have written a musical about the summer that Mary Shelley composed Frankenstein. In 1816, Lord Byron and four of his fellows gathered at the Villa Diodati, to read and write ghost stories in what would become known as 'The Year Without a Summer'. In my musical, we see these stories, as well as the interconnected lives of Byron, Mary, and their three companions; Byron's personal physician John Polidori, who would create the modern vampire, Mary's fiance Percy Shelley, and Mary's sister and Byron's one time fling, Claire Clairmont.

A production of this show is in the works. At the same time, I'm working on research for my next show, which is still in its infancy. The full show, when it is fully produced, will be made available to the public in a variety of ways; I will have the show available to stream, tracks available to listen to, rights available for future productions, and sheet music available for individuals.

In the meantime, and beyond, a whole host of bonus material is available on my Patreon, only for my patrons! Namely:

Notes as I work on new shows, including the process of research, outlining, drafting, and editing.

Behind-the-scenes looks into the rehearsal and production process.

Songs that fell to the cutting room floor, demos of recordings before they're finalized, half finished soundbites that will otherwise never see the light of day, random unrelated songs, etc.

Old drafts of the book, lyrics, and music, along with explanations as to why things were changed.

Updates on the process of researching, writing, and producing musicals; a look into the world of theatre that's kept very private otherwise.

Advice from me to you as a music teacher, explaining some broad and some niche topics relating to the process of composition.

Other stuff I'm not thinking of because it's 3 AM!

If you just want to watch my show and hear my music, just be patient, and I'll be sure to post links to buy tickets to live shows, to see video performances, and to listen to tracks from the show. However, if you'd like to see the stuff that happens behind the curtain, and simultaneously support my efforts as I embark on these projects, consider subscribing to my Patreon- for less than the cost of a subway sandwich every month, you get all of the above and then some.

And I think it goes without saying that if you can't afford the cost to my Patreon but want to support my efforts in some way, please reblog this, so that maybe one of your followers can lend their support. <3

Cash

#btw as soon as I hit $1k a month i'll shut up about patreon on here #patreon #my patreon #support #creator #creative #queer creator #small creator #creation #creating #creativity #create #music #musical theatre #musical #musical theater #personal #musicals #my musical #diodati #theater #theatre #me #classical music #musicians

[bebestay]

I think what upsets me the most about woojin posting about his departure and about everything is that it feels like he's using the SKZ name to draw up traffic and use them to promote himself. (Also please note that I could not stomach watching the video fully because I apparently have some unaddressed anger towards him that I should REALLY get sorted out.)

I honestly think he's releasing all of this to try and paint himself in a better light since he is now signed with an SM subsidiary and will likely be getting more opportunities to perform since he's no longer independent (?). Like this is damage control 101. However to do it 4 YEARS LATER AND PUBLICLY?! Like did you even talk to them or did you think this would be enough?

In my own eyes, I don't like him. Honest to the above when I say that I forgot he was even active. I stopped following him when instead of just denying his allegations, he used that post to promote his solo debut. Literally one line of "hey its not real" and three lines of "my debut's coming please continue waiting" in the same post. Then I just dropped my support of him altogether when he used those allegations and turned them into a documentary for his debut. Like it was punch after punch.

-

As someone who went through that dreaded period of October 2019 and saw how torn up the group was, it is an absolute dick move to do this. The boys and JYPE have already wiped their hands of woojin, but he seems to be clinging to that one thread with an iron grip cause it keeps him relevant. Do I hope he finds success? Yes because he's a very talented vocalist and performer. Do I want him to get the success by allowing the media to continuously connect him to his former group? No. Absolutely not. Like what use is it to go out to make your own name if you allow them to keep you attached to something you've said you want no part of. Do I hate him? No but I don't like him either.

Something I always see pointed out is that it seems like Woojin always wanted to be a soloist but knew it would be tougher to gain recognition as an unknown . So he accepted Chan's invite and the rest was history.

-

SKZ wanted to leave us with the good memories they had as 9. Chan even let him say goodbye one last time on Channie's Room before the month of radio silence. He wanted us to remember the good in him. Then everything happened and we got the re-recordings in 2020. They had officially changed their story and dropped him. District 9 became Bay 8. The lore was rewritten. The world was restarted.

Whatever bond the group had from pre to post survival show, it was gone after the first year. Sure they got along on camera, but that could've been just that. There are videos that I go back and watch, and I get this energy that he's not a friend but a coworker. Like, I can't imagine the pain that must have gone through Chan as he built this group, chose each one of them, and got hit with a big betrayal. He even apologized for woojin's departure! Something he shouldn't have had to do!

After woojin left, I saw a change in the group. The boys were more open and energetic with each other. They were happy, but also scared. A lot happened in a short amount of time with little time for recovery. Sure, they still find it tough to look back at that era with smiles but they know that they've grown from it and are even stronger than before. They've grown into their sound, finding a tone that fits their voices - a sound I fully believe would not fit woojin.

The eight of them have moved on and are thriving, but he still seems to be clinging to that one line of connection and it's starting to fray and give.

I won't forget what he did. I will not forgive.

That's all for now.

This is the last time I will talk about my feelings towards woojin and his history with Stray Kids.

#stray kids

[thestandardgirl]

hello

I've been writing since forever. It's the only way I can express myself. When I was about 5 years old and didn’t know how to write, I once took a piece of paper and a pencil and took it to my mother, and I asked her to write down my memoirs like Emília from Sítio do Pica Pau Amarelo (a Brazillian TV show for kids). ''What memories do you have, you're only 5 years old'' was the answer I heard. I think I just wanted to record my life. I needed to write some things down before I forgot what I was thinking about.

so, ever since I learned to write, I have had my diaries and filled them with my anguish. When I was a teenager, I used to write on tumblr, because I was afraid my mother would read my diary (I caught her doing that once, but that's a topic for another day). I love to reread what I was feeling at a certain time in my life. the other day I was reading about how I was suffering from crush on a guy at school, more or less in 2015, and today I don't even remember who that guy was. I don't even remember his name, much less his face. funny how things work. will it be that 10 years from now I'll read in my diary about how I'm grieving for my breakup with my most current ex, and think ''wow, how silly of me, I don't even remember him properly''? I really hope so. because now it seems that this pain will never go away.

but anyway. about me and my writing. I am that person who avoids conflicts as much as possible. I don't know how to talk when it's time to fight, I don't know how to think under pressure, I don't like to talk. if someone yells at me, I cry. I decided to go for the academic route at university precisely for that reason. I like to research and write my findings. if you don't agree, you can write an article refuting me. if I find it pertinent, I write another reply. no face to face, no clash.

and I love to read. my favorite genres are fantasy and romance. 95% of what I read is fiction. I love living other people's lives, falling in love with vampires and fighting epic battles - things I wouldn't have the courage to experience in my real life. it hasn't been long since this desire arose, but I started wanting to write myself. create my own stories and perhaps support someone like my favorite authors support me. but I still don't feel ready for that. I think I still need to grow a lot with my writing. I'm insecure, and I'm afraid of finishing a project like this and not feeling comfortable with the end result - I think I also end up being too much of a perfectionist sometimes.

I'm also not a very creative person in the artistic sense of the word. I don't know how to play any instruments, or draw, or cut paper and create collages. no matter how hard I tried, and took classes in all sorts of activities, my brief dreams of being an architect or fashion designer or actress/singer were always just that: brief and dreams. but with writing it is not like that. I don't need fancy and specific materials, nor a gigantic idea right from the start; I can control and write little by little; I can go back to the beginning and change something without it compromising too much of the rest of the text.

that's why I'm here! I think writing these texts reflecting on my life is a good way to start this writing career - also because this is not my career, so unfortunately I'm not fully dedicated to writing and I have bills to pay…. and anonymity is also something that comforts me. for now, the only way for me to publish anything and not throw up with anxiety of people I know reading it, is under a pseudonym. I'm not ready for people to know me personally, and I'm afraid of possible confrontations for the truths I intend to write about.

in short: I haven't revolutionized anything yet, I haven't had any brilliant ideas to save the world, I haven't even figured out how to deal with my own insignificant problems. but I hope to find all of that. and also to find someone to talk about life.

yours sincerely,

standard girl

#journal #writing #university #thoughts #blog #diary #mine #journaling #girl blogging #girl blogger

[ballet-symphonie]

Quickfire Questions

In honor of World Ballet Day, I'm queueing this post! I'm trying to catch up on a lot of shorter questions on assorted topics. Gotta clean out my ask box! Enjoy!

Thoughts on Iana Salenko? Personally, I really like her

Love, love, love. Not only a fabulous dancer but her determination to continue to dedicate for the art form she loves through motherhood is so inspiring.

Hi Ale who is your fave male ballet dancer?

I have too many, but I'm still on such a high from that Kim/Shakirova DQ video that I'll just name him. Kimin Kim is the king everyone.

Shakirova is like fireworks there, and of course Kim is great 🤔 another addition to the “oh how i wish i was there seeing it live” list, so joyous to watch!

Trust me, I'm fully on their hype train.

What is your favourite role of Anastasia Matvienko?

Gamzatti is the first thing that jumped to my mind. I gravitate to her in more of the 'bad girl' roles. She also danced a very seductive, enrapturing Carmen.

Thoughts on Carlotta Onesti?

She's wonderful, always happy to support fellow Italianas dancing and doing well!

Ale, thoughts on Márcia Haydée? I think she is brilliant, one of, if not the best Juliet of all time, but I don't see much of her on the tumblr community :(

Ahh, Cranko's Muse. I should watch more of her. To be fair, a lot of 'old school' ballerinas don't get talked about a lot here, but especially not non-Russian or non-American ballerinas. She deserves more love. I mean for crying out loud, she originated some of the most widespread roles in the neoclassical rep today, Cranko's Juliet, Tatiana in Oneign and Katherine in The Taming of the Shrew. Absolutely a legend, but one that should be praised more for her accomplishments and her freedom to just dive into roles.

Any thoughts on Ana Turazashvili? I tend to really like her in roles like Queen of the Dryads.

Not a super memorable dancer to me, but I remember being very captivated by the Mata Hari project she shot with La Personne. Definitely someone with potential in the modeling/CF/ more silver-screen world.

Ale, very specific question!! Please, help!! Do you have any link to the performance of Legend of Love with Tereshkina, Osmolkina and Tsiskaridze? I don't even know if a full ballet recording of this performance exists, but I really want to see. I only saw some photos, but what a dream cast!!! I would probably cry a little if I'd had seen it live

I'm not sure a full recording exists and I'm not sure how much of that particular complete cast you'll be able to find. I did find a Mekhmene Banu and Ferkhad pas de deux with Tereshkina/Tsiskaridze HERE. This performance is from 27.05.2011 at Crocus City Hall, not the MT stage so that also makes recordings a bit less likely.

There are a LOT of recordings with Tsiskaridze, particularly with different ballerinas (eg Gracheva, Semizorova, Antonicheva) from the late 90s/early 2000s that you can simply find on YT by searching something like "Цискаридзе Легенда о любви"

Ale do you know anything about a ballet blog devil on point shoes? I’ve happened to look at some posts since it has like 8k members and the woman who runs it is a friend of Nikolai T aaand…boy oh boy….

Yes, this blog/TG channel is run by a very outspoken Russian balletomane named Irina. If nothing else....she ALWAYS has a comment.

What do you think of the ballet Mayerling?

Some epic pas de deux, and a great narrative arc for the male lead but this ballet gets really convoluted, really fast. Nearly have to watch and take notes to keep up with everything.

If you don’t mind me asking, what’s going with ENB?

Lots of turmoil internally under the direction of Tamara Rojo and then even more chaos seems to be following once it was announced that she is moving to San Francisco Ballet to be their new director. Lots of roster changes, generally does not seem to be the most uplifting and supportive place to work currently.

To me, Dewdrop is the Ashley Bouder role and I think the all the praise for it is understandable, watching her in it is one of those instant cheer-ups

If it's my choice to cast Dewdrop, I'm picking Tiler Peck. Every. Single. Time.

#ballet #ballet ask #ballerina #too many people to tag