#fuck there's too many characters I want to draw. maybe they deserve their own post

[palossssssand]

Osmosis jones doodles that I’ve been hoarding for literal years for no reason

#FINALLY. ICON APPEARANCE #my art #osmosis jones #legitimately since like 2021 or something #osmosis jones thrax #thrax #drix #drixenol #silly movie. silly guys #AND SILLY SHOW #no exaggeration when he like. transformed into the germ disguise I gasped out loud. never seen him like that in my life. anyways #doodles #fanart #I lied the reason I held these doodles off was because I really wanted to draw the show characters and never got around to it #wanted to keep 'em in the same post but after a few rewatches I was like #fuck there's too many characters I want to draw. maybe they deserve their own post #anyways!

[tbcanary]

haiii uhm. idk if anyone has asked this but what are some of your favorite character costumes/outfits :O

iggy i love and adore you and i love this question. hold on, i have to dig up some images.

okay. i dug up some images. so many, in fact, that i hit image limit on this post and had to trim some things down. let's go through it.

we're gonna just go ahead and start out with dinah lance, the light of my life. this whole post won't be sorted by character, but she's the one i have the most images of, so she gets her own section.

i know people really, really love the short-haired, less effeminate dinah we get in grell's 80s run. i'll get to her! but i'm going to start by saying that her looks in the green lantern/green arrow run are all-time. please consider, if you will, the most fashionable lady in the room:

(i can't include the house robe from snowbirds, but know that i spiritually do count it as part of this post. i hold it near and dear. for now, these two looks will do.)

her long black hair. her little white vest. the statement necklace for her date with ollie. and look, i would include ollie here too, because his outfits in this run are PEAK seventies dad energy, but i don't have the space and i like dinah more, so you get these.

then comes the 80s, when dinah is in her element. short black hair, noir vibes, wearing graphic tees for things like "seattle slugfest." (in longbow hunters, at least.)

she gets some cute looks in grell's run, obviously, but i'm partial to this little skirt and sleeveless denim button-up because it's so very unlike her. she was putting in the work to look cute, and i appreciate it. oliver, meanwhile, looks like fred from scooby doo.

the 1991 run is important because of her extremely high heeled boots with the BIG cuffs around the calves. i miss the cuffs. i wish they would return to me. but the actual panels i think about the most from this run are when she cuts her fishnet stockings and uses them to tie her hair back.

wh. who. i want to know which people in the writer's room decided that was a feasible option. i just want to talk. i can't imagine a less stable hairstyle to go karate-chop some yacht pirates. come on now. but also, she even ties them in a bow? i love her so much. what the fuck is happening.

she has a lot of good looks in birds of prey (1999), honestly, but none of the artists have EVER IN THEIR LIFE seen a woman's chest. not a one. i'm going to go ahead and stick to the two things i love: the fringed leather jacket (iconic) and the long-pants jumpsuit that they did instead of the fishnets.

i don't know WHY they got rid of the fishnets, honestly, but i like this turtleneck situation and the yellow accents. also her communicator necklace on full display <3 she also usually wears a motor jacket OVER the jumpsuit. slay!

(it's maybe a little sacrilegious to like the long pants costume, given that she is so well-known for the bodysuit and fishnets. but to be fair, even when they cut the legs off this suit, she still isn't wearing the stockings. her legs are naked. 0/10 what the HELL.)

sean izaakse deserves his own post and i would not be able to pick out a limited number of panels from his work on green arrow (2023) but i will say i love dinah's new costume, i love the texture on her jacket, and i love that she gets to have the little canary logo on the chest now.

i assume this was more of a birds of prey (2023) design and not izaakse's personal design, but i love how he draws her hair, and she's so short compared to everyone, and overall she just looks good. zero complaints here.

(actually, i do have a few complaints, they just aren't about dinah. one, lian's eyes should be brown. two, ollie should have KEPT HIS HORRIBLE MANBUN, THAT'S MY DAD. and three, mia's cape should still be yellow on the outside. otherwise, the art in this run is perfect.)

speaking of mia.

the art of green arrow (2001) is not like. my favorite art style ever in terms of aesthetics. but hester really, really sets the tone for a lot of these characters through his design choices. particularly mia, which makes a lot of sense given this is her introduction and he did a lot of the initial work with her character.

the thought put into her costuming. she's wearing baggy clothes to contrast with what she wore before she moved in with ollie, she has the hair up in a messy ponytail, etc etc. this mia is everything to me. and i love ollie, too. he looks like a cartoon dad from a nickelodeon show. which is exactly who he is, to me.

we're gonna detour from dc and into marvel for just a second but don't worry we'll come right back. i was really excited when kelly thompson and leo romero were announced for birds of prey (2023) because i really liked their work on hawkeye (2016). it's such a good style for kate bishop, in particular; it feels very youthful and the style just suits her. this is The Kate Bishop, to me, outside of the 2012 run.

(i also really, really like the way dinah is drawn in birds of prey (2023). she's small, she's compact, she looks like someone who's been doing gymnastics and karate her whole life. i could also fit her in my pocket! perfect!!!!)

but yeah okay i mentioned it so i also need to shout out hawkeye 2012. this comic's aesthetics were so fucking on point, and it is one of my favorite ones i've ever edited because it has such an INTENTIONAL color palette and use of graphics like the arrows and bullseyes.

like i know everyone talks about how good this run is but that's because it is LITERALLY that fucking good. the writing. the art. the characterization. ugh. life-changing.

anyway that's enough marvel (for now). back to my hovel. dc.

spiritworld (2023) was so fun. the art is so intentionally drawing on manga and i loved it from the first issue. you can feel the love put into the character design and the color work, and xanthe's cool bomber jacket and undercut is SO essential. this is the nonbinary rep we deserve.

shoutout to cass's look in this comic, too. i LOVE this costume for her. it moves in such a fun and exciting way when she's flipping around and moving through the air, it has a new silhouette, AND it STILL has the bat on the chest. perfect. everything to me. never change.

that being said, i DO have a favorite cass look, and it's these specific panels from batgirl (2000). the style in most of that comic is great, it's super funky and fun, but these were the panels i saw that ended up solidifying in my brain as "oh, that's cass."

also from batgirl (2000) though, i love the funky design choices because they give us things like PEAK takes on stephanie brown's spoiler costume. she's just a fucking blob to me. look at her.

steph has a lot of fun looks, to me, but my favorite will always be the era in like, issues 110-112 of robin (1993), where they gave her a bob cut and big :pleading: emoji eyes.

i do wish she'd had freckles at this time. i know they were a later addition, but i like them. they add character.

unrelated to AAAANY of that, i need to talk about poison ivy (2022). this run is stuuuuuunning. i've only pulled panels of pamela here because i LOVE the way her freak body horror is done, as well as the way her hair is drawn, but the scenery and the textures of this comic as a whole are insane.

even when the story isn't grabbing me, the art does. it's beautiful, it's unlike any other comic i'm reading right now, and it is one of the first comics i ever looked at that made me go, oh fuck, that's an ART piece. ykwim.

HOWEVER. if we're talking about comics that are just. art. through and through. there are a couple others i need to mention.

supergirl: woman of tomorrow is stunning. the colorwork, the hair texture, the EXPRESSIVENESS of the FACES. ugh. this comic made me cry, yeah, but it also made me stroke the pages lovingly because of the beautifully rendered colors.

i love that kara doesn't always look Pretty. i love that she gets bloody, and beat up, and she looks tired and sad and sick sometimes. i love that it is so beautiful and also you can see genuine hurt on kara's face. ugh. UGH. this comic!!!!

now for the indie shit lol. die (2020) is sooooo lovely. stephanie hans is ordinarily a cover artist, but she jumped onto this project to do pages, and my GOD is it beautiful. the character design, the colors, the expressions. it feels like a PAINTING and i want to EAT it.

there's a lot of body horror and gruesome stuff in here. but like, somehow, even that manages to look pretty? i love the painterly textures. i love how the tone influences the colors. it's all just stunning. i need to go reread this one right now, actually.

annnnnnnd! last one, i promise! it's time for THE FORGED (2023).

i love this comic. everyone in it is a lesbian with an atypical body type, half of them are wearing bondage gear, and it's all set in a space sci-fi setting with more lore than you can shake a stick at.

and on TOP of all of THAT. LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL THE COLORS ARE.

there are a few honorable mentions i don't have room to include images of, so i'm gonna go off and list them now:

the wild west arc of exiles (2012) in that very painterly style

the scenery and background work in wonder woman: the hiketeia

the INCREDIBLY clean lines and sharp colorwork of dan mora in world's finest (2023)

the super sketchy and rough pencil-esque art in the back half of green arrow/black canary (especially mia! i love her!)

i am sorry but i enjoy the very sharp style of batgirls (2022). i don't necessarily endorse the writing or the story of the run, but i think the shapes are good. sorry. take me out back, i know.

young justice (1998) also has very cute cartoony art!! i haven't read much of it yet, but every time i see it, it makes me smile. which is the point, i think?

OKAY. PHEW. do you regret asking me yet, gobby. did you get what you came for. am i welcome to come yell at you about the forged (2023) and die (2020) until the day we both shed this mortal coil and depart for the great beyond.

that's it ily mwah thank you for the best question i've ever been asked <3333

#ask.tb #stainedglassgoblin #I HAVE BEEN CONSIDERING RANKING DINAH'S OUTFITS FOR LIKE FOUR DAYS. HOW DID YOU KNOW. #that's not what this is. this is a mess of a post. but dinah's sure in it a lot. #i may come back tomorrow with more images. only time will tell.

[alrightsnaps]

The beef you have with Anthony on twitter is very pathetic and also the fact that you PRETEND Violet has haters when all that happened is that maybe a couple of kanthony shippers have said she was a bit too harsh with him cause god forbids audience members feel more connected with the protagonist and not his mom. Also the fact you want Kate to share screentime with Mary and Edwina again when she was treated like crap by them is not it for someone who claims to love Kate. But I guess it's not surprising when you're buddy buddy with that selcouth account who not so secretly hates Kanthony and Kate and has polite convo with the bloggers who call Kate a homewrecking whore. You know your friend writes fic in which Anthony is beaten up and Kate continues to be miserable post wedding for the sake of poor innocent Edwina?And thinks Anthony should give a fuck about Edwina doesn't let him call her by her first name? Tell your friend he eyefucked Kate at the altar in front of her, let me assure you edwina lovers he doesn't give a fuck about her brattiness the majesty. Leave Kate and Kanthony out of your mouth.

aww how sweet of you that you think y'all are the first people to dickride for anthony at the expense of female characters! i can assure you that i've been beefing with his stans since before kate's casting announcement. kathonies are not the first to drag violet to defend him, or even the first stans to demonise their male fave's mother while excusing his own behaviour. sienna/anthony shippers did the exact same thing long ago painting violet as the evil hag who wouldn't let poor little anthony run off into the sunset with sienna in s1.

also why the fuck wouldn't i want kate to fix her relationships with edwina and mary? i've criticised edwina repeatedly for never apologising to kate since day 1. that's something we never saw in s2 so yeah, i definitely want to see that and i consider necessary for them to rebuild their relationship on better terms after the wedding fiasco.

what i consider hypocritical as fuck is being totally ok with kate forgiving anthony when he hardly did enough to deserve her forgiveness after all the pain he put her through, but drawing the line at her stepmother and sister.

anthony literally ruined kate in 2x04 and not only didn't assume his responsibilities as he forced simon to do with daphne in s1, but had the nerve to propose to her sister the very next morning. so yeah, if i can support kate being with anthony in the s2 finale when he was calling her "the thorn easily removed" from his and edwina's lives just two episodes back, because that makes her happy, i can sure as hell root for her making up with the women that have been her entire world for the past 26 years as well.

as far as i'm concerned neither anthony nor edwina did right by kate in s2. edwina because she blamed her for anthony's actions and was ungrateful, when all kate had done was sacrifice after sacrifice for her to be happy. and anthony because he never showed kate the respect he demanded men to show to his sisters and chose to go after her baby sister only to publicly humiliate both sharma girls in front of anyone when they were at the altar.

i'm old enought to be able to form my own opinion about characters instead of joining fandom groupthink or liking/disliking them based on how their fanbase behaves. if that was my criterion i don't think there's a single ship i'd support in the bridgerton fandom, considering that i disagree with most kathony and benophie stans on twitter for always coddling anthony and benedict and excusing their misogyny.

and frankly, i'm extremely uncomfortable with the way you and many kathony stans talk about edwina. y'all are literally victim blaming an 18yo child for falling for a grownass man who went after her and ruined her in the eyes of society. you constanly infantilise anthony when he has more privilege than 99% of men in england, while spending your time talking shit about a teenage girl.

that's not holding edwina responsible for her behaviour towards kate, it's misogyny, plain and simple. she has every right to treat anthony like filth for the rest of her life after what he did to her and be protective of kate, like kate was of edwina when anthony was courting her, after his abhorrent treatment of both sisters.

a 30yo man not giving a fuck about a teenager he strung along and ruined isn't the gotcha that you think it is. except you clearly have such a sexist worldview that you consider him to be the "prize" edwina lost and kate won, rather than a man who hurt them both deeply and took advantage of his privilege over them.

if i should keep kate out of my mouth for wanting to see her have a healthy and wholesome relationship with her family, so should you people for being ok with anthony doing the bare minimum to win her after the hell he put her through.

#my asks #bridgerton

[tulakhord]

got tagged in SOOO many tag games by @raylangivins asdfghjkl thank u ilu here are like, half of them lmao.

(1) shuffle your on repeat playlist and post the first 10 tracks stupid girl - garbage salt and vinegar - lights DIP N DRIP - cobrah disturbia - rihanna this hell - rina sawayama deep end - catty night crawling - miley cyrus feat. billy idol messy - kiiara jet black hearts - abigail barlow dancing on my own - robyn (2) a questionnaire!

Tea, coffee, or soda? coffee > everybody..... i do love tea tho. Dogs or cats? dogs bc one's sitting on my feet rn and he's pretty cute so. Can you play any instrument? forgot all the piano i once knew oops What's your sun sign? sagittarius for me as well! ♐️♐️ First song lyrics that pops into your head? how will i know if she really loves meee 🎵 Do you have any tattoos? not yet! indecision etc etc Favorite place you've travelled? british virgin islands What's the last movie you've watched? i literally do not remember but i'm seeing the d&d movie this weekend lmao What languages do you speak? only english, i'm pants at languages :( much like the instruments question i forgot the other ones orz Do you have any hobbies? omg so many, i love doing things lmao. rn i am actually doing campaign prep for ttrpg things while i watch hockey and fill this out, which is a whole category of hobbies by itself (writing! mini painting! drawing! map design! terrain builds! etc etc.) You can hang out with one fictional character for an hour, who do you choose? i was gonna be saucy and pick someone hot or someone whose brain i want to dissect like a formaldehyde frog but actually it is toothless i wanna go flying with the flying doggo Compliment yourself: i cooked a delicious dinner tonight! (3) ao3 first lines tagline

Rules: Share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway (spoiler alert: rules are made to be broken…)

"most recent" i have published uhh nothing since 2021 hockey hols oops. i should maybe. fix that. anyway the point is that some of these are from my drafts folder ayy:

The chatter starts up at the end of every season, and every off-season Mat runs the fuck away to get away from it.

There’s three shadows standing over Eddie when he comes to, curled in on himself on the ground and damp with his own sweat.

The last dragons—barely hatchlings—die at Dragonstone. Perhaps it's only fitting that the last dragonspawn do too.

“I used to think about it,” admits Trevor. “You making me sorry for it.” (x)

Leon makes all his biggest mistakes in Las Vegas, and tonight is no exception. The team is flying high off a win they didn’t expect—off a win, strictly speaking, they did not deserve—and the music is good, and the lights are low, and the drinks keep coming. (x)

Raff is in the Dallas hotel room, and Joel didn’t invite him—didn’t expect him—but holy cannoli is Joel glad to see him there. (x)

The first thing to understand was Raff didn’t have a heart. (x)

As far as Jack was concerned, Taylor Hall could take his Nantucket wedding, his signed contract in Boston, his Biosteel invite and his mostly working body and all the other hallmarks of his happily ever after—and shove it up his own ass. (x)

He had made a conscious choice not to tell anyone about the situation, and indeed, not to think about the situation any more than could be helped. This had worked well for the past several years, except that it meant that Auston had not thought twice about extending the invitation for Dylan to join them for two weeks in Scottsdale. (x)

They’d tracked the old legends from planet to planet, each one emptier than the last: graveyards with no graves, detonation marks from imperial explosives scouring ancient stone, each once-sacred place swept clean of its history. (x)

tagging 10 of you i've seen in my notes lately, do one or two or all of em: @maddiebuckley @bluewaterhigh2005 @tobysziegler @st-louis @xreveux @parisebuyout2021 @chevalric @joeslie @marmolita @townhulls @bigbrotherlouis

#tag game #rpf courtesy tag #mo — i tried to do the comfort character game and legit could not lmao

[takaraphoenix]

I’ve been holding back on making this post because I wanted to finish Batman Beyond Vol 6 before writing it to see if things change. And since I spent last night not really being able to sleep and instead finished that run, here I am.

Damn did this iteration do Dana dirty.

Dana Tan deserves just a million times better than the post-New 52 timeline gives her, I mean holy shit.

Pre-New 52 inclusion and Brother Eye cyborg-zombie apocalypse Dana had learned about Terry’s secret while the two were still in high school. She’d put two and two together herself, actually. When she confronted him, he confessed and confided in her. And she was supportive of it.

And I was hyped for it. For them to move forward as a couple, Dana in the know about Batman and Terry no longer having to lie to her.

For some reason I can’t fathom, they were broken up in the next iteration of Batman Beyond. Just, not really explained. Dana barely in it at all. Terry hooking up with Melanie.

And, I confess, I do like Terry and Mel together. I love Melanie as a character. I am 100% pro Melanie Walker joining the Bat Fam, but not at the cost of Dana.

Then the cyborg-zombie apocalypse hit and the timeline got rewritten. And it’s never exactly explained how it effected what - Tim Drake was the one to save Gotham City in the very storyline where Dana learned the truth, but Tim Drake didn’t exist anymore in that form, since a younger Tim was misplaced in time and Tim thus never grew up to be the old guy who saves the day. So no clue if the storyline even happened at all.

Genuinely, the thing that drives me the most nuts about timeline resets and reboots and rebirths and whatever is that they never give you a comprehensive list of shit that changed.

So, for some reason that isn’t elaborated upon, Dana no longer knows Terry’s secret. Instead, they are - in this new timeline - broken up because all the secrets and ditched dates became too much for Dana. And that’s fair.

But then she does learn the secret (again), in this new timeline.

And the writers do Dana Tan just incredibly dirty by having her basically throw a fit. She’s okay with it for like an issue before drawing the line that no nope she can totally not put up with Terry being Batman actually. That’s... not Dana though. Dana was canonically okay with it, supportive and understanding of it. Okay, sure, maybe it makes a difference that she now learns many years later than she did originally. But it still doesn’t ring true to me that Dana would give up on Terry that easily and would actually be full stop not supportive of Terry being Batman.

Not... that it actually matters because aside from doing her characterization dirty, they also fuck her over by having her walk in on Terry kissing Melanie while Terry and Dana are still a couple.

And then she’s just kind of written out. I mean, understandable on her part for not wanting to have anything to do with Terry after that.

But for near 20 years, Dana Tan was the female lead, the romantic lead. Also one of the two only characters of color in the main cast. (Damn, Beyond!Damian is one of the whitest Damians I have ever seen.)

They didn’t just do a character dirty. They did one of the five original main characters, one of only two women and also only two characters of color, dirty. And that’s just... that’s just really not a good look.

Sure, they bring Dana back for the final arc of Vol 6, but not to really do anything. Just to... be there, for no real reason given, in the hospital when Bruce gets his heart transplant. Like a supportive girlfriend type of character, with zero own motivation, and also she’s not the girlfriend. But her and Terry are “okay” now... again, for no reason.

They couldn’t even dedicate some time to Terry and Dana actually talking. Terry actually apologizing to her.

Vol 6 really fucked Dana Tan over severely. She used to have her own story, but this reduced her to Girlfriend Throwing A Fit and then just Supportive Friend after not being in the majority of the run.

And even if they switch love interests to Mel, which isn’t out of nowhere, the two have a years long set up and they had a consensual relationship while Terry was single before he got back together with Dana, they didn’t have to throw Dana under the bus to do so.

Man, I really hope that the Neo Year run treats her better.

#Dana Tan #Batman Beyond #Batman Beyond Vol 6 #DC Comics #Phoe Reading DC

[lizzy2799-blog]

He compartido 284 publicaciones este 2022

¡Son 280 más que en 2021!

19 publicaciones originales (7 %)

265 reblogueos (93 %)

Estos son los blogs que más he reblogueado:

@hood-ex

@dick-nightwing-grayson

@romanticism-is-maudlinism

@beabennett

@bigskydreaming

He etiquetado 13 publicaciones en 2022

#nightwing: 10 publicaciones

#dick grayson: 10 publicaciones

#31dod: 2 publicaciones

#bea is the only good thing in the ric arc. i mean: 1 publicación

#barbara gordon: 1 publicación

#this is a joke: 1 publicación

#uquiz: 1 publicación

#digital painting: 1 publicación

#digital art: 1 publicación

#draw: 1 publicación

La etiqueta más larga tiene 104 caracteres

#i don't hate barbara and i like her as oracle but i feel like she and dick have the chemistry of a rock.

Mis publicaciones más populares este 2022:

5

So, a while ago I drew a pretty Dick. I hope y'all like it.

8 notas. Fecha de publicación: 10 de abril de 2022

4

"I prefer murderous king vampire Dick over fascist Dick" it's something I never imagine I would read ever, but they are right.

16 notas. Fecha de publicación: 7 de abril de 2022

3

Descúbrela

26 notas. Fecha de publicación: 3 de marzo de 2022

2

Maybe I would sound childish but Barbara and Dick should be allowed to exist without the constant need to be a couple. They are their own individual characters and they should be treated like that.

Taylor's necessity to push this two as an item rather than two different people baffles me. I feel like it hasn't past a single chapter without Barbara in it. And that, with the fact that so many other characters are being included in this one run make it feel... too full, too convoluted?

I like Barbara but seeing her chapter after chapter is just too much. This is not a story about Oracle and Nightwing. It is supposed to be just about Nightwing with maybe another hero helping sometimes.

And do you know what the worst part is? They do not explore anything new or interesting about them. They are just there being a couple without anything to say. It is just sad at this point.

In 1996 they at least explored Barbara being Oracle and Dick having too many things to do that he couldn't be in a relationship 100%.

They had problems outside their relationship, they were doing things outside of their relationship, they existed outside their relationship. Let them have that again!

And, yes. I'm petty. Haley is Dick's dog, not dick's AND Babs. Let that poor man have a damn thing for himself.

One final thing: i don't like how Barbara and Dick have interacted since Grayson. And yes, i have not read that many comics about them but with the little i have seen in Grayson and Nightwing (2016) it makes clear the fact that they are not compatible that much nowadays.

39 notas. Fecha de publicación: 1 de abril de 2022

Mi publicación más popular de 2022

To be honest, Dick deserves to be a homicidal vampire who would not hesitate to kill his entire family. Like, you got this, i support you.

Let him go crazy, do crimes, being gay.

Now i want a fight between canon!Dick and vampire!Dick.

Canon!Dick: you did what with whose head?!?! Where is B's heart???

Vampire!Dick drinking kori's blood from a juice box: i wanted my brothers to join me

Canon!Dick: YOU SMASHED TIM HEADS LIKE A FUCKING PAPAYA!

Is this post pretty stupid? Yes. I'm not sorry.

156 notas. Fecha de publicación: 31 de marzo de 2022

Descubre tu resumen del 2022 en Tumblr →

#tumblr2022 #resumen del año #mi resumen del 2022 en tumblr #tu resumen del año en tumblr #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[growup-thatbeautiful]

i was having an argument with myself in the shower and like. stop shitting on fanfic writers. idk i was making myself really mad about it.

as i just proved, there’s gonna be some fruity language in this post, fair warning.

who fucking cares if you’re using someone else’s characters and/or universe. there are millions of interpretations of a single line of dialogue, so why can’t there be millions of writings for a character you love. you still have to develop plot lines, characters design, dialogue, know the rules of writing, and know how to change the rules to fit your specific style. it’s a whole fucking lot of work!

isn’t it beautiful how we can love something so much that you write more about it! you take what you love and add to it and change it and make it your own. i think it’s an honor to be a part of something that’s so special to so many people.

now, i know i’m a fanfic writer myself. maybe that makes me a little bit biased, but who cares. i know i’ve felt like what i write isn’t enough because i didn’t create it myself, but the things that i’m most proud of writing are fanfic. i’ve had random thoughts that i can put into fanfic, and that’s so amazing because someone’s actually going to read that! crazy.

and for those of you who say fanfic is good practice for “real writing.” okay, sure it is good practice, but it’s also still writing. real writing. it’s not invalid because it’s fanfic. like i said before, you still have to know how to write. isn’t that all it’s about?

i know a lot of you think that fanfic is being written by “hormonal and emotional teenage girls.” which. is not true. i know so many fic writers who do not fit into that category, and if they do, who cares! it’s a good expression of emotions that are completely normal to have, it’s a way of coping with the themes of teenage life, and it can help you to understand more about yourself. i, personally, have learned a whole fucking lot about myself, from sexuality to my definition of love. yeah. deep shit.

y’all. write whatever you want. angst? make some of those nerds (lovingly) cry. sometimes they need it. we need it. fluff? again, make some of those nerds cry. give me some good loving, found family, cuteness. i’ll marry you. crack? i need a good laugh, thank you!! au? incredible. you built a work on top of a world, chris nolan is that you?? hurt/comfort? just come on and give me a big warm hug!

fanfic writers, make what makes you happy. don’t let close-mindedness stop you. you deserve it :))

fanfic readers, support and love your writers. read what makes you happy! you deserve it :))

and don’t worry, fanartists, i could never leave you out. draw what makes you happy. draw what you’ve been itching to draw, even if no one is asking for it. especially if no one is asking for it. i love y’all and think y’all deserve so much more recognition as beautiful outstanding fucking marvelous artists. everything i said up above i believe for you too. (ik it doesn’t directly apply but you get the idea)

(oh. and i’m not gonna stand for any “but what about fic writers who..” nope. all fic writers are valid. just because you don’t want to engage or read it (which is reasonable, i’m not dissing that) doesn’t mean they didn’t work hard to write it.)

i wasn’t going to, but i think i’ll turn this into a tag post because there seems to be a little bit of a loss for positivity recently. if you want, tag your favorite fanfic readers, writers, or mutuals you think should see this. (obviously there’s no pressure at all to like or reblog. this is not meant to spread reblog anxiety or put anyone on the spot.) @radbatch @holdenduckfield @missdemiegoddess @kixthecondomfairy @maiseey @naerysthelonesome @oceans-foundfamily @bi-rdofprey-writes @cleardishwashers @lavenderstaars @freshwoods

#writing #fanfic writing #fanfic writers #fanfic struggles #fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic shitpost #fanfiction writers #writers #fan art #fanart #fanartist

[phoenixyfriend]

For your suddenly omegaverse au what exactly happened? Like I think obiwan and Anakin hop over from cannon verse to omegaverse but I am unclear on if there already existed obiwan and Anakin in omegaverse. Did they die early or do they just not exist or are they just not force sensitive and therefore not a part of the order? Is there still a sith conspiracy around Anakin?

Context: Original Post, Surrogacy, Worldbuilding, Obi-Mom, Soap Operas

So, from the original post:

There is no preexisting Anakin in the Omegaverse

Obi-Wan and Anakin just straight up don’t exist until they drop headfirst into the council room, already covered in blood.

To clarify: There has never been an Anakin Skywalker in this AU. There has never been an Obi-Wan Kenobi.

They don't know this for sure when they land in the AU, though. All they know is that the Jedi have no record of either of them. They figure, well, maybe they just got lost in the shuffle. Anakin wasn't found until he was nine, after all, and that was only by great coincidence.

The rest of this post has almost no mention of the omegaverse elements, FYI.

Warning: References to the Tusken massacre, explicit sedation and isolation of a mentally unstable individual threatening violence.

I don’t want to make light of institutionalization and involuntary holds, but Anakin is a character with a history of violence talking about repeating such an act, and that’s... a bit of an extreme case.

------

It's not that hard to convince the Temple to let them run a mission that lets them stop by Tatooine or Stewjon. Anakin cares a lot more, so Tatooine it is! Obi-Wan can tell there's something sketchy going on with Anakin's particular anxiety about this, but he rolls with it. Anakin was very specific about the timing for some reasons, and at this point, it's easier to just let it all play through.

They go well after the whole “congrats, you’re omegas... somehow,” thing has happened, a month or so before Geonosis would have happened. Obi-Wan has managed to help the council sabotage and delay the Separatist side of the war enough that they’ve gained... maybe a few weeks, maybe a few months. Just a little more time to keep a few more people alive. Nobody’s reached out to Kamino yet, and Jango isn’t staging a failed assassination to draw someone in, either. They’ve bought enough time for Anakin to spend his vacation time checking in on his mom seeing if he exists here, and Obi-Wan can go with him.

They get to Tatooine. They wander about, and Anakin doesn't actually explain where they're going, but takes them straight to where the Lars farm is. Obi-Wan lets Anakin tell him that it was the Force that led him to the right area. Anakin can sense that his mom is in there, and Obi-Wan chalks up the relief from his former padawan to 'she's here and we don't have to look for her.'

Anakin is... panicking. Just a bit. What if he shows up and it turns out this reality's Anakin is off doing something completely unrelated and she realizes he's the wrong person? Or what if she doesn't recognize him and he calls her Mom anyway? What if he fucks up and says something stupid or just starts crying on her? She'll think he's insane.

Obi-Wan... takes over.

Anakin stays hidden, listening. Obi-Wan knocks on the door, and asks if there's a 'Shmi Skywalker' in residence. Someone in town mentioned her. He explains that he has a young friend of about twenty years--they're not sure, exactly, because the friend doesn't know his own birthday, but it's about there--who happens to be a Skywalker, and they're trying to see if they can reconnect him with a parent. They don't have much to go off of other than the surname... the Shmi that lives here wouldn't happen to have ever had any children about that age?

No. She hasn't had any children of her own blood, actually, her only child is her stepson, but she'd be happy to meet this other Skywalker, if he's in the area. It's always nice to find family, and connecting with those that were separated from you is a big deal on Tatooine. She's not going to look a gift bantha in the mouth.

(Cliegg, dear, put down the rifle.)

Obi-Wan promises to let his friend know, bids them goodbye, and goes to find Anakin.

Anakin is having a bit of a breakdown.

As one does.

Anakin insists that they stick around for a bit, that they do what they can to protect the farm, because that's his mom, even if she's not really his mom, and Obi-Wan can tell there's a Lot Going On here. He assumes it's because Anakin's upset his mom doesn't know him, which is a little irrational on account of their two options being "Anakin doesn't exist (and so Shmi doesn't know him)" and "Anakin does exist (but Shmi doesn't know this Anakin, so she still doesn't know him)," but Anakin's not a very rational person.

Obi-Wan thinks tamping down the current crisis is probably a little more important than chastising Anakin's attachment issues, mostly because Anakin's hands are shaking, and he's looking a little wild-eyed, and like. Obi-Wan's not great at dealing with Anakin's many and varied emotions, but he's learned at some point when it's best to just... roll with it Until There's Less Risk of Stab or Sobbing Laughter.

He helps figure out some minor fuckery with the Force to hide the family in the homestead behind them from visitors, and to warn them to hide when someone comes by. It’s not a lot--mostly just meditating and asking the Force for a helping hand--but it’s nice.

Except, well, Anakin keeps fidgeting. He keeps panicking. He has them coming back almost daily for a week, always too scared to talk to his mom but insistent on protecting her, and always looking at the calendar. Obi-Wan wants to get back to the Temple, but whatever the actual hell is going on with Anakin is too big to just ignored.

A specific day comes and goes. Anakin is a mess of jitters and nerves, and finally Obi-Wan asks just the wrong (right?) question, and... they visit Shmi.

Anakin says they can talk later, he just wants to see his mom One Last Time.

(Obi-Wan is getting more and more worried, but he sits through the incredibly awkward meeting between Anakin and his alt-universe mom, watches as Anakin has no idea what to say and almost cries, and Shmi just kind of lets him do that and Beru--a sweet girl, Obi-Wan thinks, and very practical--tells him that this is all very normal for reunited slaves.)

(Obi-Wan wonders if maybe there’s some stuff Anakin never told him about how being a slave affected him.)

(Obi-Wan had thought they’d moved past most of this, but..)

The meeting ends. There’s hugging.

They get back to the ship, and Obi-Wan gets to watch Anakin fall apart. Obi-Wan gets to watch Anakin cry and scream into a pillow, hyperventilate and nearly punch a hole in the wall as he rages about how it was all for nothing! Obi-Wan gets to watch Anakin break into a million pieces in a way he’s never seen before.

Obi-Wan gets a confession.

Anakin tells him about the Tuskens.

It’s not an easy conversation. It’s not a short conversation, either. Anakin’s full of pain and misery and rising guilt, talks about how he’s been asking himself if it would be easier to keep his mother safe if he just killed them all now, except Obi-Wan would know, and be disappointed, and sure the Chancellor had said that they were little more than rabid animals, but Anakin doesn’t think he can kill the younglings again when his mom is still fine, and--

Obi-Wan sedates him.

He wants to say that he’s not proud of this, but... Anakin isn’t well. Anakin isn’t well in a way that is currently, specifically, revolving around doing extreme violence. Anakin is talking about going out and committing a slaughter as preventative maintenance.

Anakin stays sedated until they get back to the Temple, and he’s put in Force-suppressant cuffs--Obi-Wan quietly tells them to use something that can’t be sliced or taken apart by a droid specialist, and to avoid collars because Anakin was a slave for nearly a decade, and has a lot of traumatic associations--and in an isolated room.

It’s not a cell. Not technically.

He can’t just leave, though.

Obi-Wan hates himself for it, just a little. He doesn’t want to be doing this, not to his padawan, his brother, his son, but... a massacre. Even the younglings, he’d said.

(“He said he didn’t think he could do it again,” Obi-Wan mutters, half to himself and half to the mind healer that asks for his rundown of the situation. “I think he knows it was wrong, but...”)

(But he still did it, of course.)

It’s... better than Obi-Wan feared, but worse than he hoped.

Anakin is emotionally unstable. He has been, for a long time, but he’s usually functional. When the mind healer isn’t directly poking at his worst wounds, Anakin can more or less pass for... not okay, necessarily, but no worse than anyone else in the war had. He can say the right words. He can do a joint meditation. He can talk about philosophy the way a Knight that’s taken all the right classes does.

But part of Anakin still holds to the idea that the Tuskens deserved to die.

“This is my fault,” Obi-Wan whispers, more than once, resting his head in his hands, elbows on his knees. “I should have...”

“He was an adult,” says Mace, who isn’t Mace, not the one that Obi-Wan knows, but a newer friend, one that’s still figuring how to act around him. “Young, but still an adult. He made that choice.”

Obi-Wan doesn’t answer. Things aren’t that simple.

“The timing can’t have been a coincidence,” Obi-Wan mutters to himself, later on, but in the same spot, and the same position.

The Quinlan of this universe shrugs. He knows Obi-Wan better than most, right now. Psychometry’s helpful that way, and sharing Obi-Wan’s heat hadn’t hurt. “Seems likely. You said Sith were involved and setting traps, and a kid like yours, with that much power and trauma... ripe for the molding.”

Obi-Wan whines, and then catches the noise and stuffs it back down, locks it up tight with the other ‘instinct’ things he doesn’t like to think about having. The sound already has Quinlan shifting closer, and the smell is... intended to be comforting, he thinks. Reacting to his own distress, which he’s probably just pumping out right now, because he still doesn’t know how to--

“Can I help?” Quinlan asks, and Obi-Wan lets him.

Someone gets through to Anakin, maybe, or he just lets himself be ground down, or Obi-Wan’s entreaties that he can’t teach Ahsoka until he understands his crimes get through. He won’t be trusted around the clones until the Jedi can trust him to do the right thing, they inform him.

“I wouldn’t hurt the clones.”

“Nobody’s going to believe that until you understand your crimes and truly, actually feel remorse for them.”

There wasn’t a crime, technically. Not in this universe. That tribe is still alive, here, unknowing of the fate they escaped by dint of Anakin talking himself down from committing another slaughter.

(He tells the mind healer it’s because Obi-Wan was there.)

(He might have done it, he says, if he hadn’t thought Obi-Wan would be disappointed in him.)

(He says it like it’s a foregone conclusion, that Obi-Wan’s opinion is worth more than the horror of what he might become.)

“We’re going to keep an eye on anyone talking to Palpatine,” Shaak tells him one day, after Anakin’s been mental instability hold for two weeks. “We don’t know for sure how far the similarities extend from your universe to ours, but given everything else you’ve been right about...”

“That bad?” Obi-Wan asks.

Shaak grimaces, fangs glinting in the light. “I want to believe we’d have never allowed a child into such a position, but I can’t know what political leverage may have been used in your dimension... whatever reason was had to put Skywalker in those rooms, we know the consequences now--”

“What did he do to my padawan?” Obi-Wan demands, because Anakin won’t even tell him that. Anakin hasn’t mentioned Palpatine since they left Tatooine. Not to Obi-Wan.

“Nothing physical,” Shaak manages. “But the lies he told and the suggestions he planted... it’s good they haven’t met again yet in this life. We’ll all be keeping them far apart.”

He wants to take solace in that. “Why do you know before I do?”

“Skywalker values your opinion,” she says. “Only yours. He doesn’t want you more disappointed in him than you already are, so much of what is relayed to the council as a matter of security goes no further, but this was deemed necessary to share. He agreed to it, if you worried we’d broken his confidence.”

Anakin’s therapy would normally be entirely private.

Anakin’s therapy would normally not be in response to confessions of mass slaughter.

He hasn’t asked to be let out, which Obi-Wan hopes is a sign that he realizes at least subconsciously that he was in the wrong. The mind healer says he could have been released under watch by a Master probably a day or two after he arrived, but seems to be drawing some kind of comfort in knowing he couldn’t hurt someone even if he tried.

Obi-Wan is Anakin’s emergency contact. His next of kin. His healthcare proxy. Anakin has a right to privacy, minor as it is in such a situation, and everyone recognizes and treats him as an adult, but... Obi-Wan learns as much from the mind-healer as he would have back when Anakin was actually a child.

“He trusts you to make the right decisions,” the mind healer tells him, careful and unassuming. “He has... a lot of conflicting opinions about many things, including the order, the coming war, the nature of human reproductive dynamics, the Code... but he seems keen on the idea that you are his best reference on morality and ethics.”

Oh, good, more horrifying responsibility.

“He’s better,” the mind healer tells him. “I want to get him out of here before he starts going stir crazy while still relying on the perceived safety as a crutch for his mental health. And he--”

“He’ll be staying with me,” Obi-Wan says, heavy as anything. “I know.”

“Well... there’s a war coming,” the mind healer says. She offers a thin smile when he looks at her. “I don’t want him going out, but it makes him feel useful, gives him a direction for the aggression, and... the Council is adamant that we’ll need him as much as we need you.”

It’s true.

“Did he tell you why everyone called him the Hero With No Fear?”

“No.”

“Ask him.”

#Anakin Skywalker #Obi Wan Kenobi #Shmi Skywalker #Mace Windu #Quinlan Vos #Shaak Ti #time travel #omegaverse #SW Suddenly Omegaverse #Phoenix Answers Asks #phoenix posts #Tusken Massacre #death mention #dehumanization mention #institutionalization tw #involuntary hold tw #sedation tw #involuntary sedation tw

[brookecuzyes]

three years of you. — tear myself apart

Damiano David x GN!Musician!Reader

Main Masterlist — 3yrs Masterlist

Summary: it’s only been a couple of days, which were full of tears and regret. however, that regret wasn’t on their part until a simple comment was made. (Part 3 of a series)

Word Count: ≈3.4k

Warnings: cursing, alcohol intake, angst (Anyone drinking alcohol in this chapter is of the legal drinking age in the United States, which is 21.)

A/N: thank y’all for reading! this has already gained a lot of readers and so i am happy about that. love you guys sm 💕 songs included in this fic are not mine. any characters mentioned are not mine, and belong to their respected owners. and ofc, i don’t own the celebrities either. i do check comments/reblogs, so please be respectful!!

———————————————————————-

You’ve got this, you can do it.

You tried consoling yourself. Normally, he would be here to help calm you down— or at least call if he could physically be there. He’d be there if you were about to have a panic attack, he’d be there to make sure that you were OK.

But you aren’t.

An entire audience full of strangers who listened to the songs, who listened to your heartbreak. Now, they get to watch your heart break live.

He wouldn’t— no, couldn’t— be there to comfort you. He couldn’t be there to tell you that everything will be fine. He fucked up, he’s the one who messed up that relationship…

“…then why did you show up?”

——

Glasses clinked. Chatter was taking place all around. Honestly, it was a little overwhelming.

You sat down at the booth with the whole band. Saturday had rolled around, which you hadn’t noticed since you were lost in an almost depressive state where time was non-existent. However, the karaoke bar definitely woke you up.

“Alright, guys,” Luke, the lead guitarist, said, holding a couple of drinks in his hands. “Tonight is the night! The tradition kicks in once again, and Monday we start recording. Let’s celebrate and relax.” Julie, the lead singer and the girlfriend of Luke, followed behind him, setting more drinks down on the table. Flynn, the unofficial manager of the band, let out a loud, “woo!”, making everyone laugh. All of you grabbed a glass and clinked them together, all taking a sip at the same time. Your face crunched when you processed the drink.

“Jesus, Luke, what is this?” you questioned.

“Alcohol,” he said blatantly.

“Yeah, no shit,” you shot back, shaking off the effects.

“I just said that we’re relaxing— that’s exactly what alcohol does!”

“Or maybe you're just an alcoholic?” Alex joked, taking a sip of his drink.

“I don’t drink that much.” Luke defended.

“That’s what an alcoholic would say.” The whole band started laughing at the ongoing banter. It isn’t often when Alex made witty remarks like that, and everyone always enjoyed it when he did.

On another note, you felt as if you absolutely needed this drink. Given what’s been going on this last week, you felt like you deserved it. Though, you knew you’d regret this tomorrow. You knew Alex was keeping an eye out for you. The rest of the band didn’t know yet, they just knew that something happened, which is why you left Italy so early. They were all confused, but didn’t ask upon it when Alex glared daggers at them when they tried. So, thankfully, they did back off. But, it doesn’t mean that they weren’t concerned.

You had been talking, making it seem as if everything was fine, but Alex’s heart broke when he picked up on it. However, with the alcohol about to course through your veins, it would be harder from him to be able to pick up on whether you were drunk or going through it. Regardless, he was going to make sure that you were having fun and not thinking about your ex.

“Hey,” Flynn said, “why don’t we start the karaoke? I think we all have enough alcohol in our systems to do this.”

“I vote for Alex to go first!” You said, raising your hand. “Do Micheal Bublé.”

“Woah, hold up, I never even said-“

“It doesn’t matter. What I say goes. Now go.” He sighed, laughing as he stood up from the booth. He went over to the guy and told him what song he wanted to do. They got everything set up, and Alex got on stage.

“Let’s go, Alex!” You cheered on, making him smile and blush just a bit— though that wasn’t entirely visible from where you guys decided to sit.

The song started playing, and Alex started singing. It took you a few seconds to recognize the song but you figured it out.

“Oh, he’s singing Feeling Good. I love that song,” you whispered to Reginald, the bassist, who was sitting next to you. He looked to you over his shoulder, smiling. He hadn’t seen you so “out there” since you got back. It was nice to see you getting back to normal. Though, he didn’t actually know why you weren’t normal to begin with.

And I’m feeling… good.

You cheered Alex on again, dancing along to the beat with the whole band. Alex didn’t sing much, but when he did you cherished those moments. That’s why he songs Now or Never and Stand Tall on the band’s very first album are your favorite.

“God, I love his voice,” Reggie said, as if he read your mind.

“Yeah, and look at him,” you pointed out the way his body is moving with the music. The way he was just lost in a musical haze. It was enchanting. “That’s what his anxiety covers up.”

Alex soon finished, hopping off of the stage with an embarrassed smile on his face.

“Oh, don’t be embarrassed, babe,” you said, noticing his expression. “That was the best performance tonight by far. Not even Julie could compare to how amazing that was.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” she said, drawing out the ‘thanks’ in a sarcastic way. You raised your glass to her.

“Anytime, Jules,” you replied, raising your eyebrow and taking a sip. She laughed, letting the comment you made slip— for now at least.

“Hey, I have an idea!” Flynn exclaimed. “How about we take a couple photos and post them to our accounts? Y’know, to celebrate this very special moment.” Everyone collectively agreed. Pictures were taken left and right— and others were taken throughout the night, too— and each person had a different photo that they were each going to post. You had decided that you were going to post yours now, not wanting to forget later on tonight or tomorrow.

You captioned it:

Just continuing a small tradition tonight with music and alcohol. maybe if he lets me, i’ll post Alex singing Feeling Good 😏🤍

It was perfect and you posted it, after letting everyone see it to make sure it was OK. Within minutes people already saw it and were liking and commenting. You made sure to turn your phone off before it started going crazy. Julie and Luke decided to go up and do a duet with each other. They choose Little Do You Know. Their voices were beautiful singing the song. They mashed just so perfectly. You recorded them, knowing that you would 100% show them this at their wedding. (They aren’t engaged, but it’s bound to happen sooner or later.)

You weren’t paying attention to the notifications spamming the top of your screen, though you did look back once to see if the camera was aligned with their bodies. That’s when you saw a specific notification. One thing that you absolutely forgot when you posted that photo was that Måneskin could still see your posts. The only reason you remembered was because Victoria responded to your post.

Ahhh you look amazing!!!😘

The second you saw it, you put your head in your hands, mentally slapping yourself. If Victoria saw it, then the rest of the band is going to see, meaning Damiano would see it. Fuck, you thought to yourself.

“Hey, Y/N, are you alright?” Alex asked, placing a hand on your arm. You looked up at him showing him the comment. “I don’t understand.”

“Victoria commented. Meaning Damiano’s probably gonna see it.”

“Not if he’s blocked.”

“I didn’t block him, we’re still mutuals.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, Alex. Maybe I just haven’t gotten to it yet.” You realized the angered tone in your voice, not meaning to be rude to Alex. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.”

“No, it’s okay. Hey, maybe if he does end up seeing it, he’ll just be jealous. Damiano will see everything he’s missing out on.”

“What is Damiano missing out on?” Julie asked, sitting back down with Luke.

“Oh, it’s nothing-“ Alex started, but you cut him off.

“I left Italy because Damiano was talking to another girl. It caused too many problems, so I left.” Everyone went silent. Everyone’s eyes softened at you, unsure of what to say.

“Y/N…”

“It’s fine. I’m here now. It doesn’t matter.” Silence fell once again, especially on Alex’s behalf. He knew you weren’t fine, he knew it mattered— whether you said it or not. “Sorry if I kinda killed tonight’s vibe.”

“N-No, you’re fine,” Reggie said. “You did nothing wrong.”

“Yeah, you didn’t ruin anything. I am glad that you told us, though. We’ve been worried.” Luke said, putting his arms on the table and leaning forward just a bit. You felt your phone vibrate but didn’t think anything of it— probably just another person on Instagram.

“Sorry that I made you guys worry. I just wasn’t sure how to bring it up. It’s just been a hard couple of days. This shit isn’t easy,” you explained, mumbling the last part. Everyone stayed silent, none wanting to make something worse.

“Luke, why don’t you and the guys go grab some food?” Julie suggested, placing a hand on Luke’s back, turning her attention back to you.

“Oh, yeah. Guys, let’s go,” Luke said, getting the hint. The boys got up and left, each giving you a sympathetic look. The girls, on the other hand, all stayed behind.

“Alright, listen up,” Flynn started. “Tonight is not the night to mope around. You can do that tomorrow when you’re hungover.”

“Right now,” Julie jumped in, “you’re gonna forget about that asshole, get your ass out there, and sing your heart out, dammit!” Your eyes widened at the girls’ sternness. A smile started creeping from your lips, Julie and Flynn following behind you. Soon enough, the three of you started laughing your asses off.

“Ok, ok, I’m convinced. I’ll have fun tonight. Thanks,” you said, trying to shake off the laughter so you can speak. You grabbed your drink, taking a sip of it. It was the same drink Luke got you earlier. Damn it, Luke. You shook your head to shake off the kick the drink had. Flynn chuckled at your antics, taking a sip of her, not as strong, drink. The guys soon came back with some snack-type items in their hands.

“Are we all good now?” Alex asked, setting down the plate on the table and looking your way.

“Yep, we’re all good now,” Julie answered, taking a sip of her drink. You chuckle at her, reaching for some of the food on the table. “But, Y/N’s about to sing for us.”

“Woah, wait, now?”

“What did I say? You’re gonna sing your heart out.”

You groaned, slumping back in your set in a joking— yet, not entirely joking— way. “Julie, I didn’t realize that you meant right now.”

“Ok, so? Get up there, Y/N! C’mon it’ll be fun.” You contemplated. I should go, you thought, it could be fun.

“Fine, I’ll go,” you announced, getting up from your seat. Reggie and Flynn got up from theirs so you could get out. When you got up, you turned to Reginald.

“C’mon, you’re doing this with me,” you said, grabbing his arm and dragging him over to the guy supervising the karaoke.

“I didn’t really wanna sing right now. Nerves, y’know?” Reggie explained.

“So? Reggie, I get that nerves are real, but there’s no way in hell I’m doing this alone.” You opened up a book full of songs, and was going through the selection.

“Why couldn’t you just get someone else?”

“Because I think our voices clash very well together.” You turned your head to him and gave him a smile. He shyly smiled back. You looked back at the book and held it up to Reggie. “What about this one?” you asked, pointing to a song. Reggie read it and smiled.

“Yeah, let’s do it,” he said, grabbing the pen and marking off the song and writing your names. You stood back, waiting for him to finish. When he did, he turned around.

“Alright, I’ve got us down. Wanna head up?” He asked, holding his hand out with a playful smile.

“Let’s do it,” you said, grabbing a hold of his hand, him taking you up the stairs and into the stage.

When you walked up, you saw the screen in front of you turn on, switching to the lyrics of the song. The lights were bright, but it wasn’t anything you weren’t used to. You saw some people stare at you, but it was mainly the rest of the band. Reginald walked to the microphone set up on the far left, you took the other. The song started playing, immediately relaxing you. Maybe this isn’t as bad as I thought. The song you chose was a favorite of you and Reggie— Meet Me At Our Spot. Of course, the band loved it too, but they got bored with it after a while since you two were always blasting it wherever you went. You actually had some inspiration from this song and wrote a little tune, but you had no lyrics at the moment.

When I wake up

I cant even stay up

I slept through the day, fuck

I’m not getting younger

——

“Victoria, you don’t understand-“

“No, you don’t understand, Damiano!” Victoria raised her voice at him. They never argued. They’ve known each other since childhood and nothing had ever caused an issue, except for this.

“I did nothing wrong.”

“Really? ‘Cause it looks to me that you broke your lovers heart.”

“Y/N left me,” he said, trying to reason.

“They might have physically left, but, Damiano, you were gone a long time ago.” She started towards the front door of his house, grabbing her keys.

“Where are you going?” Damiano asked.

“Home. But, let me tell you something first, Dami.” She put her hand on the doorknob. “It doesn’t matter how you try to defend yourself, you fucked up. You broke Y/N’s heart. You were talking to someone else. The damage is done. If you’re gonna try and get them back, you’re gonna have to try really damn hard. You want to get Y/N back, right?”

Silence followed. Victoria gave him a second to compose himself, but ultimately feared the worst. “Dami…”

“I mean, yeah, but-“

“No buts. You shouldn’t be saying ‘but’, you have no reason to.” Damiano just looked at her. “Wow… unbelievable.” Victoria opened the door and walked out, slamming the door behind her. Damiano walked up to the door and locked it. He headed back to the living room and heard his phone ding. He picked it up and saw that you had posted a photo.

Just continuing a small tradition tonight with music and alcohol. maybe if he lets me, i’ll post Alex singing Feeling Good 😏🤍

He sighed. He unlocked his phone, and went to go see the photo you posted. You looked nice. Happy. What was the tradition again?

Right, karaoke. The weekend before the band records an album, everyone goes to a karaoke bar. He scrolled down a bit and saw a comment. He saw Victoria’s comment.

Ahhh you look amazing!!!😘

He figured that she saw the post before she pulled out of his driveway. He debated on what he should do.

Yeah, he fucked up. But, it really wasn’t that bad. It’s not like he cheated. It was just talking. He wanted to tell you that you look great, but wasn’t sure how you would feel about it. Like Y/N would care what I think, he thought to himself. You never broke up, though. Plus, he needs to know what’s going on, how you’re doing. He’s concerned. Couldn’t be the worst thing— it’s not like the internet knows yet.

Ok, I’ll just just comment.

——

Caught a vibe

Baby, are you coming for the ride

I just wanna look into your eyes

I just wanna stay for the night, night, night

You and Reginald were jamming out to the song, as per usual. Everyone was loving it, even the rest of the band. It was the most fun you’ve had in a hot second.

When we take a drive

Maybe we can take the 405

Hypnotized by the light

Man, this must be the life

As the song ended, everyone cheered you two on. You went over and hugged Reggie on his side, him giving a small hug back. You guys walked back to your booth, the whole band full of excitement. Alex got up from his seat and let the two of you in, you sitting in the corner of the booth.

“That was amazing!” Luke exclaimed.

“Thanks, we had fun,” Reggie said, practically reading your mind.

“Definitely.”

“Your voices go so well together,” Flynn remarked.

“That’s exactly what I said!” you said, hitting Reginald’s shoulder so he knows your point is proven.

“Ok, we don’t have to be violent about it,” he joked, smirking just a bit.

“Yeah, whatever. I’m gonna go to the restroom real quick. I’ll be back,” you said, waiting for Alex and Reggie to stand up so you can go. You grabbed your phone, stood up, and made your way to the restroom. When you got to the restroom, you went to one of the stalls but checked your phone before you did anything else. However, you almost immediately regretted it because you saw that Damiano had commented on your photo.

What the hell does he want?

You read what he had commented, and, honestly, you wanted to laugh.

You look great tonight, as you do every night, amore

You couldn’t believe it. Amore, really? you thought to yourself. You looked up from your phone, looking at the stall door. You contemplated what to do next:

For starters, keeping the comment wouldn’t be out of the norm for your followers. They knew about you and Damiano. However, if you deleted (which you really wanted to do), everyone would notice. People would speculate. Or, you could just go off on Damiano privately. That would be too harsh. But, this is your account— your decision. Do you want to have your cheater boyfriend compliment you the way he did?

You know what, do it later, you thought, turning off your phone and finally, actually, using the restroom.

Once you finished, you exited the stall and walked over to the sinks. You washed your hands, not able to get that damn comment off of your mind.

You walked out of the restroom and back over to the booth, but you didn’t sit down.

“Alex,” you said, standing next to him. “Can I talk to you?” He looked up at you, unsure of what you wanted to talk about, but got up anyway. You grabbed his hand and pulled him outside.

When you two got out there, you sat down on a bench, Alex following your move.

“Is everything alright?” You opened your phone and went to Instagram, showing Alex to comment Damiano left. “Oh.”

“Yeah. I just don’t know what to do, and it is tearing me apart. Do I delete it? Do I keep it? Do I argue with him?”

“Delete the comment, and, Y/N, please, block him on social media. You don’t have to block his number, but you should block him everywhere else.”

“Why not his number,” you asked.

“Because you need closure. At some point, you’re gonna want to text him or call him and try to get some understanding as to why he did what he did. You haven’t actually broken up yet. Maybe that’s how you finish off?”

After a moment of contemplation (again), you nodded your head slowly.

“Ok. Yeah, ok, I’ll do that.” You lowered your head and searched through your following to find Damiano’s account. You clicked the three dots at the top, and looked for the block button.

“You sure this is the right thing to do?”

“Yes. Want me to do it?”

“No, no, it’s fine. I can do it.”

You looked at the button for a second. You’ve never even thought of blocking him before. I’m your mind, he was the one. Now? Well, you’re blocking him because he cheated on you, so obviously your idea of him completely shifted.

I can do this.

Your hands started shaking slightly, your heart was beating like crazy.

I can do this.

Slowly, you moved your finger over the button.

Click it, it’ll be fine.

And, so, you did. You clicked the button.

You felt free.

———————————————————————-

Taglist for 3yrs — i’m so sorry if i couldn’t tag you!*

@mywritingonlyfans @nientedaridere @pingpongchamps @fairysums @kkjk @blackbluerose666 @thatmeganthing @teenyweenynightghost @ccweasley @lilchickie @katyldamusic @fanfictioncafe @tiaamberxx @butkutee @aboredassho @story-scribbler

*(for those who want to be tagged, please have stuff posted onto your blog and make sure that your blog isn’t censored <3)

#damiano david fanfiction #damiano x y/n #damiano david fanfic #damiano david x gn!reader #damiano david #damiano x you #damiano david angst #må #måneskin #maneskin #three years of you. #three years of you: tear myself apart #3yrs

[pluviophile-imagines]

LOWI CONGRATS ON THE FOLLOWER MILESTONE!! 🥺💞💞💞 u deserve it and so much more!! for the kiss prompt could i get 18 with shinsou ?? 🥺👉👈

TYSM SOFFFF so uh. I’ve been fuckin stupid dkfnskfb my dumbass rlly wrote Shinsou correctly on my master post like a week ago and then still managed to write for Shigaraki instead when it came to the actual piece 😳 so thanks to my handyman brainrot you get two—that’s right, two!—characters for the price of one ur welcome ♥️ I cheated a lil bit so shinsou;s not sitting in the reader’s lap it’s just his head but i think its cute 🥺 also Shiggy’s is like twice as long as ive been trying to write them oops i rlly like the jealous reader premise 👉👈 it’s under the read more bc of that and bc of kiiiinda spoilers? if yall arent caught up to the manga you won’t get it but if u are it’s canonical. Whew that was a lot! Enjoy!

Kisses where one person is sitting in the other’s lap

Shinsou

To say that your relationship with Shinsou is new would be an understatement. You’ve been friends for years—ever since the third year of high school when you’d been assigned to him as his support—but you’ve never been particularly close until recently when you’d once again found yourself working on his hero costume and support items.

He’d only asked you out yesterday after nearly two months of tension-filled glances and fleeting touches. Now, the two of you are watching a movie at your mutual friend Kirishima’s apartment, sitting quite awkwardly on a loveseat and pretending like you don’t want to get closer to each other. You haven’t told your friends yet about your new relationship status, but that’s not entirely what’s holding you two back. If anything, it’s run-of-the-mill first date awkwardness (if watching a movie with six of your closest friends around can be considered a date), too afraid to initiate anything.

The movie’s dull; the two of you have pulled out your phones to snark at each other through text, a strategy you’d begun weeks ago after being hushed one too many times by Kaminari because you were talking too loudly. The bright screens probably aren’t all that much better, but you two are in the back anyway; nobody can see it unless they turn away from the TV.

You risk a glance up and end up locking eyes with Shinsou. Your face heats up, heartbeat quickening, as he gives you a charming smile. You watch him glance around the room, unsure at first why he’s doing it until he turns his attention back to you and slowly, silently, moves over across the loveseat into your personal space.

Your legs are touching now, faces so close your nose is nearly brushing his. One of his hands has come to brace against the armrest you’re leaning on, allowing him to stay leaning in.

“Hey,” he says, little more than a whisper and clearly hushed so the others don’t hear.

“Hey yourself,” you respond, earning yourself a low snort.

Instead of vocally responding, he pushes himself back up to a sitting position and then moves his hands to maneuver your legs until you’re no longer curled up against the couch’s backing but sitting like a normal person.

Then he lays down, head resting on your thighs, and turns to face the movie.

You’re grinning uncontrollably. All possible self-conscious thoughts of the others seeing you are dashed from your mind; you like the weight of him in your lap too much.

You spend much of the rest of the movie like that, easily over half an hour. A few minutes in he reaches down to find your hand and bring it to his hair, encouraging you to stroke it. It’s even softer than you’ve imagined in the past, fluffy and thick and genuinely nice to run your hands though. There’s a surge of contentment that rushes through you, and maybe a little bit of pride at the knowledge that you can do this pretty much any time you want now.

By the end of the film, you’re pretty sure Shinsou’s fallen asleep. He gives you the scare of your life, however, when he grabs your arm as you’re trying to pull away. His eyes open, purple irises trained on you.

What happens next you blame on grogginess, him still not quite being awake. He blames it on you; whenever you mention it, he says he saw you and had become consumed with an overwhelming desire to just lean up and kiss you. Whatever the reason, it’s nice for you.

His hand comes up to the back of your neck, tugging you down just as much as he lifts up. It begins soft, kind of sweet, just lips as the two of you melt into each other—but it doesn’t stay that way for long. Within moments the two of you morph the kiss from a quick peck after a movie to a very passionate makeout, and frankly you’d be more concerned if they hadn’t interrupted the two of you.

You pull away when you hear Kaminari’s wolf whistle, left sitting on the loveseat with a burning face and your boyfriend in your lap, still half asleep.

Shigaraki

You’re not jealous.

No, you’ve been dating Tomura for months. You can’t be jealous when he’s, well, yours, and has been for quite some time. You’re his first relationship, his first everything, and it’s frankly foolish of you to feel this insecure just because some floozy is simpering at him from across the enormous room where you and the rest of the League are scattered about. It’s not like she really wants him, or even knows him; he’s just the hew big-shot leader and she’s decided being his lover sounds good. Too bad that role’s already taken.

Still, there’s a sinking feeling in your chest—an ache in your heart, a burning lump in your throat—that says now that Tomura is Grand Commander he’ll drop you for someone better.

You don’t realize you’re glaring daggers at the woman until she catches your eye. She has no business looking that smug; the only reason she’s allowed in the room is to give Tomura reports. You’re the one lounging next to him as she approaches; he has your legs over his lap, his thumb absent-mindedly rubbing circles on your thigh.

And when she bends down to drop the report on his lap (as if your damn legs aren’t there, you want to scoff) she draws the eyes of every League member except the one she wants, because you’re the one who has Tomura’s attention.

He’s wearing Father, but you’ve long passed being afraid when he looks at you from between those lifeless digits and you can see the expression beneath; those lips tugging down slightly in a pout, brow furrowed, eyes far softer than they have any damn business being while hiding behind the severed hand of his old man. He’s concerned, and a little confused.

Tomura plucks the report from your legs and sets it aside, reaching to pull you fully into his lap. To your surprise he takes Father off, too; he buries his face into your neck to prevent the outsider from seeing, lips just brushing your ear so that you can hear him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Hm?”

“You’ve been pouting ever since the secretary came in, brat.”

Like hell you’re saying anything in front of her. You remain stubbornly silent.

He doesn’t like that, you can tell, but while the secretary’s interest is lost on him he knows you well enough to tell that you’re uncomfortable with her. Presumably that’s why he doesn’t press the issue and kisses you instead.

You don’t expect it. Tomura’s not exactly one to shy away from PDA (you’re sitting in his lap in front of the whole League, for fuck’s sake), but intimacy is something he’s never wanted to take beyond closed doors. When he’s in a sour mood you’ll kiss him sometimes, even in public (he’s invigorated by your affection in many way, but never anything you’d call heated.

This kiss, though, is. It’s anything but chaste, perhaps even downright lewd. He’s all but initiating a makeout with you while Miss Secretary is standing right there. Maybe his affection-motivated ways are rubbing off on you, but it helps more than it probably ought to.

You’re dazed by the time he pulls away. The sound of the door slamming closed snaps you from your trance. The secretary, ploy foiled simply by your annoyed expression, had left. It doesn’t matter. None of this was ever really about her in the first place.

“There,” Tomura says, audibly quite pleased with himself. “She’s gone. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

You sigh, leaning in to tuck your own head into his shoulder. Your voice is muffled when you speak, quiet so that only he can hear.

“It’s dumb.”

“It’s bothering you,” he says simply. There’s an underlying statement there: tell me so I can destroy it for you. In many ways, Tomura is a predictable man.

You know he’s not going to drop it, so you accept your fate. “She was making a pass at you.”

He tenses beneath you, holding you closer. You risk lifting your head from where it’s buried to see the way his nose is scrunched up. “She wasn’t.”

“Yeah, she was.”

There’s a pause, like he’s processing everything you’re saying. Then, seemingly finally registering what exactly is bothering you, his hands move to grip your hips and maneuver you to straddle him, sitting fully on his lap facing him. “Fine. Why’re you pissed about it, then?”

You lean in again, arms coming to wrap around his neck as you bury your face into his chest and try to ignore the tears that are coming. You’d never be able to live it down if any of the others saw you crying over the fucking secretary.

But you know more than anyone thanks to many late nights assuring your boyfriend he’s the only one for you that Tomura can empathize with this insecurity. It’s a little strange how the script has flipped.

“She’s a high ranking MLA member, she probably has some crazy strong quirk. I’m quirkless. I dunno. I guess I’m scared you’ll drop me for someone like her. Like I said, it’s dumb.”

He doesn’t speak for a moment. You sit there, listening to his heartbeat and matching your breathing to his. Then he speaks.

“Your emotions aren’t dumb. It’s okay that you’re feeling this way. Thank you for telling me.” He’s parroting you, you realize; this is what you tell him every time he comes to you for comfort when he’s gotten in a mood. You feel a little fuzzy, warmth flooding your chest. “But I think we both know they’re irrational.”

“Tomura… I—”

“I’m not interested in some lame-ass NPC,” he interrupts, no hesitation and entirely sincere. He doesn’t even need to think about it. “You’re my player two, my endgame. The only thing in this world worth protecting. You really think that secretary can hold a candle to you? I didn’t even notice her. Why would I when you’re here?”

You can’t help it, you surge upward and kiss him, just as passionately as he had you mere moments before. His right hand traces up your spine to find the back of your neck and pull you closer, sending a thrill through your body as your own arms tighten around him.

“Oi! Horndogs! Get a damn room, don’t make us see that!”

You break away at Dabi’s words, panting slightly, and if the sincerity of Tomura’s little rant hadn’t convinced you that his words were true, the look of utter adoration he’s regarding you with would have.

#bnha x reader #bnha imagine #mha x reader #mha imagines #shinsou x reader #shinsou imagine #shinsou hitoshi x reader #shinsou hitoshi imagine #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki imagine #shigaraki tomura x reader #shigaraki tomura imagine #shimura tenko x reader #shimura tenko imagines #myherowritings #ask.🌧 #mine.🌧 #event.🌧 750 follower prompts #char.🌧 shinsou #char.🌧 shigaraki #pluvi’s pals

[toughaqua777]

Something Needs to be Said

This post is about @pmseymourva and his current situation (at the time I type this). If you don’t want to read, you don’t have to (some probably should, though). As for Seymour, you need not pay attention to this; I only wish you well.

Here it goes.

What people fail to understand sometimes is that behind a blog, behind a piece of artwork, behind an OC or two, behind everything, there’s a person.

A person with emotions. A person with a life. A person just like the rest of us. He can get stressed. He can get overwhelmed. He can get hurt. He can get angry. He can be serious. He can be sincere.

Not everything is a fucking joke.

Some of you seem to find that hard to understand.

Quit it with the malicious sarcasm, too. It’s not welcome here.

Some of you may say that Pat here was “asking for it” when it comes to many things. But y’know what you folks sound like?

Victim blaming. You’re victim blaming. You’re blaming him because you believe he “asked for it.”

He did not ask for the remarks and madness that came along with drawing a female character. Hell, almost nobody does. People will do some weird shit to characters, yes, but that does not mean that the creator asked for everything the outcome would bring.

That’s like blaming a rape victim because they were wearing a “sexy” outfit, and therefore “they were asking for it.”

Sounds fucked up, right? That’s because it is. I shouldn’t even have to make that comparison, but here we are.

What the fuck is wrong with you people? Actually, don’t answer that. If you’re victim-blaming, I don’t want to know.

You know what all this is adding up to? Self-blame. Think about that for a second.

He’s being made to believe this is all somehow his fault. That everything that is completely out-of-his-control is his own fault.

Again, victim-blaming. Victim-blaming can have horrible effects on the victim themselves, and this situation is no different.

It’s like blaming him for the whole fucking AM Seymour shit. Yes, he created the joke, but it was just a joke. And people got obsessed over it.

Other people getting obsessed is out-of-his-control. That is not his fault.

That’s the fault of the people who can’t take the hint and shut up.

I’ve seen some of those asks (which I can’t seem to find, which is probably a good thing). Again, drawing comparisons to the AM shit.

Him creating a character does not mean he has control over the reactions of those who see them.

This, all of this, is causing him mental/emotional anguish (and maybe even physical for all I know). And that’s perfectly understandable.

And it’s not his fault.

That’s the fault of some of you out there. You know who you are.

AM is dead, now shut up. Cyana is a female OC, now shut up.

Seymour is a person who doesn’t deserve your selfish shit. Now SHUT. UP.

If you are indeed one of the people who does this shit, either apologize right fucking now, or leave and never come back. This shit needs to fucking stop, and if you don’t like it, fuck off and take it somewhere else.

And before some of you hound me, guess what? I used to be one of you.

Back when AM suddenly gained popularity, I sent in an ask that basically read, “You know you were kinda asking for it.” How I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from doing that. But I can’t. And I became part of the problem.

I may not even have a right to be pissed because of that. But at least it means I know what I’m talking about.

Don’t be part of the problem. Don’t be a reason why Seymour may decide (or decided) he’s done.

And Seymour, don’t be afraid to step away from everything. Whether it be from YouTube, Tumblr, fucking anything and everything. Treat yourself. Reward yourself. You deserve a mental health day--no, mental health week, month, year, however long you need to get away. You don’t deserve the shit that people are throwing at you, nor did you ask for it.

Take care of, and love, yourself, Seymour.

#serious post #tw #trigger warning #rant #swearing #i'm angry #nor am i sorry #now if you'll excuse me #i'm going to bed #i'm done with some of these people

[jitterbugjive]

Something I wish more people would understand is how unhealthy and misguided I was in my early 20s. I came out of a life of mental and sexual abuse, for a bit I had a much older boyfriend than me that I didn’t realize until fairly recently was grooming me since I was 14. I was a hyper sexual teenager due to the exposure I had in childhood and I sought people out constantly to ERP with, even adults, without really thinking anything was wrong with that. I had an old friend who started running away from home to look for random adult men to sleep with so my understanding and feelings towards that kind of situation got all twisted and confused and I didn’t know how to help my friend. I had another friend who was pulled in to a 3 way by another minor and an adult, and the other minor was also the sort who actively looked for adult men who would be sick enough to sleep with her. And my best friend had a sister who was also exhibiting this behavior despite my friends’ many protests, because their mom didn’t give a single fuck about anything. I had an older babysitter, by older I mean in his 60s, who would bring up conversations about sex with me and show me porn on TV from when  I was 10-13. I was dealing with unchecked PTSD which made me overly reactive, prone to fits of anger and anxiety.

My point is, back then I didn’t have any kind of professional help or anywhere I could go for answers on things I didn’t understand or had a limited understanding of. When I ask the question ‘what do you do if a kid is seeking out adult sexual attention’ it’s not because I’m trying to blame kids for this, it’s because it scares me when kids are unknowingly, maybe even knowingly, exposing themselves to danger for whatever screwed up reason they may have. And no one wants to talk about that kind of situation, so I couldn’t find any answers. I couldn’t find an appropriate way to process my feelings on the matter, my understanding of it, the way I viewed it, I couldn’t find what the correct way to feel or deal with it was. Again, because no one wants to talk about it. With my naivety and personal experience, I at first held resentment towards kids like that, because I remember being put in danger because of them or they put my friends in danger, and those kids seemed very sure of their choices even when they were perfectly aware it was wrong. One of them I knew, even as an adult, didn’t ever think anything was wrong with what they did, they didn’t come with that regret you hear most people talking about. I regret the way I’ve reacted to these situations and I regret the way I phrased things when I was trying to come to terms with this issue that I’d been honestly traumatized by.

Another thing I didn’t understand in my early 20s was appropriate boundaries, because I wasn’t given appropriate boundaries as a kid I only knew one big basic thing: Don’t do anything sexually explicit with minors.

And when it came to RP, I thought that meant PG13 content was okay. I thought if there was a fade to black, or a time skip, or an implication, it wouldn’t be a bad thing. Now, there are literally only 2 instances I can think of where there was any sort of implication of sexual acts between characters with a minor, I still made sure nothing explicit was shown or explored and I was of the impression that I was just letting the other person have fun because that’s what they were in to. And that was a mistake. Not as big of a mistake as it could have been, mind you, but I’d never cross that line. I thought I had a good line drawn in the sand but I didn’t really understand where it was supposed to be. Because if we’re gonna be honest here, looking back I know now even romantic fluff RP between an adult and a minor isn’t okay, even if it’s through characters and not as ourselves.

I know now how much of an emotional impact RP can have on a person, considering most of my romantic relationships started with RP. When you have a character you deeply connect to interacting with someone else’s character, it’s really easy to start mistaking your character’s feelings for your own. You could believe because your characters get along so well that maybe the two of you can get along romantically too. I’m not saying that RP shouldn’t lead to romance, but that it can easily blind a person from how their RP partner really is. So it’s dangerous to RP with kids like this. I should know, my abusive ex that groomed me until I turned 18 in order to date me certainly had me convinced we were meant for each other just because our characters clicked and my character happened to be a representation of myself.

Something I’m really ashamed to admit as well is a serious misjudgement on my part, where for some reason I assumed bodily fluids weren’t NSFW. Probably because I’ve seen people get away with censoring out naughty bits but leaving the spunk in an image, or just drawing the character with spunk on them or something. Point is, people were getting away with it not being flagged as porn, and my dumb brain was like ‘okay so it’s not that bad’. I need to make something clear here, I don’t entirely remember what happened or why it happened, but it’s true that Bedeviled Derpy had a post that showed spunk in 2 of the images and it was drawn from some sketches of mine by a teenager. I don’t believe I would have requested such a thing, I certainly didn’t script it to say ‘draw spunk here’, in fact the sketches don’t show any indication of a mess anywhere. I just remember being given the finished images with the spunk being added, and I was dumb enough to think “oh yeah this is totally okay for a SFW blog” and my brain didn’t even register like ‘hello yes a child drew this maybe ask them to remove the spunk also spunk isn’t sfw or child friendly in any way shape or form’

Some people, maybe only a handful, or more, I don’t know, but some people have this assumption that my mindset in all of this was like “Hahaha I’m taking advantage of a minor” and that’s just... not it?

I’m a colossal dumbass, I admit that, and I was really irresponsible, but it was NOT because I had any intentions on preying on a child. I just don’t do that.

The things I said and did, I did out of ignorance, and most of the bad stuff people talk about me saying was from 5+ years ago, before I got any help, before I had anyone to walk me through these incredibly complex emotions and opinions that were ingrained in my head since childhood.

I just wish that people could see I had no malice or ill intent, I wish people could realize they’re way overthinking my actions and taking things a lot more personally than they were ever meant to be. Maybe if they could see this for what it is rather than assuming I’m a villain who purposefully did everything wrong, they could learn to move on in a healthy way.

I understand I did a lot of harm and there’s no undoing that.

But I do NOT deserve to be accused of pedophilia. Pedophilia has literally ruined my life and my perception of the world. I’m a victim too, and just because I became an adult doesn’t mean I suddenly know right from wrong. That’s not how becoming an adult works. You’re allowed to make mistakes as an adult, being an adult doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes any more. Yes it’s easier to say to someone ‘you were just a kid, it was a mistake, you didn’t know any better’, but adults have a hard time knowing ‘any better’ too. We’re always growing and learning and I’d like to think people are smart enough to see that I have grown in to a better person.

I hope people can find it in their hearts to forgive me, but I fear some people are too far gone down the rabbit hole of being convinced that everything was on purpose and from malice, that I’m some evil mastermind who thrives on manipulation and taking advantage of kids. I’ve only ever associated with 2 minors since becoming an adult and I have no intention of associating with any more that aren’t directly connected to my family or my friends.

Anyone who actually knows me would know I have a 0 tolerance for IRL pedophilia, when I found out a member of one of my groups was showing nudes to minors he was immediately kicked out and I kept tabs on the situation to make sure he’d be caught by police. When a member in my server was exposed for ERP and orbiting with a minor, I kicked him out too.

I worry about kids to a point that it’s part of my PTSD, I have anxiety attacks just worrying about how a kid might be getting harmed, the last thing I want to do is bring harm to them.

And I did cause harm, I didn’t know that was what I was doing, but I did, because I wasn’t mature enough to understand how to interact with kids as an adult. And again, I’m just incredibly sorry things had to even come to this. I’m not lying when I say I think about this every single day, and sometimes spiral in to really bad anxiety because of it. It affects me heavily.

I want to move on.

And I want the people affected to move on too.

Because dwelling on this isn’t going to do anyone any good.

#apology #important

[ackermanshoe]

Edited lmao: warning this is kinda pointless and alot of farfetched theory and a veryyy long post please read at your own risk 🤡

Edit again: my analysis when I started it 1 month ago: 👩‍💼🖨️📇✒️🖋️✏️

My post now: 🤡🤡🤡🕯️🕯️🤡

Edit: I started writing this like ages ago but I don't see my own point with this writting and I'm editing it after reading @nini14 's Ackerman breaking the cycle analysis and I feel like both of these go hand in hand. So without further ado:

Triangles

Let's see as we all are made aware that aot significantly revolves around trios of friends such as the following :

Although these are the main trios that is noticeable, other trios can be made out by taking some characters from their original trios to make trios based on looks / character and dynamics. And this is where my argument comes in with this trio:

Their dynamic has always been mother father and son. Now let me explain, idk if anyone has heard about the drama triangle but here

These terms can be applied to MLE trio, Levi being the persecutor, Mikasa is the rescuer and the victim being Eren. In the first 3 seasons at least, Eren was being taken away and his decisions constently put him in danger, Levi being the persecutor who always gives Eren what he deserves for being a pain the ass and Mikasa being the rescuer always siding with Eren and protecting him no matter what. Do you see it?

This is Mikasa to a T.

The following is an example of the dad being the rescuer and the son "junior" being a victim, and much like Eren, could possibly refuse the hand that is helping him.

So that being said now that we have an understanding of their dynamics in the relationship, let's get back to understanding a triangle. Did you know triangles are one of the strongest shape because it has three sides that rely on each other hence shifting their energies on to each side and it makes the perfect shape for a bridge, architectures favourite. Why am I tell you this?

Because these dynamics that every trio is made up of in aot is because they have strong relationships.

Someone mentioned isayama loves putting move triangles and I couldn't help but agree, look at how many times he has placed Eren historia and an angry Mikasa? And subtly he has always ( to me at least) hinted the love triangle between Levi Mikasa and Eren, outside of their father-mother-son dynamic. Personally this makes sense to me the most, fueled by mikasa's dream. A choice was there to make and she unknowingly chose Levi.

Now this brings me to the death of all the trios Levi has been part of, from Isabel & Farlan to hanjo & Erwin to where we are now. Our situation before S4 was EMA+Levi = 4 people but we all know that a square isn't as strong as a triangle so something shifted. Eren, even with him in it Armin and him were more connected as for Levi and Mikasa as a pair it was more obvious. Especially in the conversation EMA had in that stare place as depicted on @gilly-bj 's analysis on similarities between rivamika and Mika's parents. Not only was Mikasa placed directly next to Levi although being feets apart in reality but her lines "another conversation only you two understand" it. Visually and verbally divided Mikasa from Eren and Armin and connected her to Levi. Both alone.

Yet another triangle placed by isayama intentionally or not is Armin Mikasa and Levi.

Because a triangle represents the process of recycle and reuse it also represent the cycle of life, an on going thing that doesn't stop, a history that repeats itself. And going back to Ackerman finally breaking this cycle of tragic fate, will they?

The fact that the whole manga series start at chapter 0 is very suspicious in it self. Why does it isyamaa? A 0, a circle that comes back around? A 0 which represents both the ending and the beginning? Why is the 1st chapter called "to you, 2000 years from now"? ( That's such a fucking impactful chapter name gives me chills )

Before my theory start I just wanna add that the story started from a narrative perspective makes me wanna believe in rivamika even more. Did eldians share the same fate in 2000 years? Who knows, but I know for sure Erens and mikasa's dynamic as the impulsive hotheaded doer and their protective calm but strong friend thinker will continue forever just like the never ending triangles.

I forgot all these ppls names on chaoter 0 so PLS bare with me.

The main dude who heavily resembles Mikasa even tho he is a man, has a incredible power just like the Ackerman's as a human AND he can shift into a titan???? Last time I checked weren't Ackerman's the bio product of titans? Remember is science is on a ongoing journey and forever progressing towards the impossible ;)

Hmmm

The little girl who resembles Gabi, who has the same dynamic as Eren, the girl also looks up to his inhumanly powers, a little too much alike Eren's idolisation of Levi ( and looking up to Mikasa's strength I think )?

Lastly, chapter 0 makes me believe it was set in the future. Look at the buildings, 2 story buildings I don't remember seeing buildings like this in the pre time skip era have you? I could be wrong tho.

If Isayama is as smart as we think he is then he might have related this chapter to the whole plot of aot. 🤷 Or it could mean something. And here's where my theory comes in and it may not be the most favourable for eldians. Let me start with the good part tho, the guy who looked like Mikasa is could be a descendant from the Ackerman clan, but he isn't half and half like Mikasa and Levi, he's full blooded. Which might be why he has the power to shift ( idk this kinda don't make sense since Mikasa and Levi can't buy hush )

So let's say rivamika got married had a family they always wanted and had the peaceful life and 2000 years from then this guy^ existed. Oddly familiar to great great great grammakasa 💀💀.

The cycle never ended for eldians, the whole world could still be mad at them for Erens action and has the prejudice against them for a long time. And the fact that they can shift is never going to change even 2000 years in the future. And the guy ( omg I keep calling him the guy cause I literally can not be bothered figuring out his name ) who lives in a far more developed society with richer civilization within the wall. It could be possible that Ymir or someone erased the eldians memories ONCE AGAIN after the rumbling ended. Because Mikasa levi weren't effected they probably were excused and got to live as they pleased. This dude is also the reason why I believe isayama does not consider the Ackerman's as side characters at all. In the end the story might have actually started with them, alluding to "the ending is just the beginning" as said by kingsama himself. ( Wtf am I saying lol )

So yeah in conclusion as I said yes story is weirdly really influenced by a large amount of triangles and loops. And yes ackerman probably would break the cycle of death after all living through hell fighting hell all for what? If not recreating into a heaven, giving it new life. I do believe in rivamika living the life they are destined for with each other but eldians fate might just be too tragic for me to see them as truly free people who gets to roam around outside the walls as they please.

I guess my point is that everything that goes around will come around, that will bring good karma for the Ackerman's and maybe a repeation of the past for the rest of the world. 😩😩 I think I fully somehow believe Eren is gone for good. Unless isayama draws him waking up from a long dream on his bed then 💀👀👀 I will throw myself away.

Thank you for reading 💞 once again I'm so sorry this post isn't as good as I'd like it to be I am sleep deprived right now and it isn't worded as well as of like it to be. But hope my delulu ness was enjoyable at least. ✌️💀

#rivamika #levi x mikasa #rivamikacanon #rivamika analysis #rivamika theory? #bullshit

[dynyamight]

I've seen a lot of people do it, so if you are up for it~ Ship your moots!

FINALLY. THE AWAITED LIST OF MOOTS IS COMPLETE. sorry this took forever anon!!

now, this is going to be long & i will try not to overexplain my ship pairings. did i take time to think about each paring? yes. but, will they be serious? no. they are dumb & silly.

let the crack pairings begin <3!!

@dekusneakers x BAKUGOU & TODOROKI now you would think? sneakers in a throuple? how come? mmm simple. i couldn’t choose one for her so she gets both. the more the merrier. besides, she deserves love from both sides, kisses on both cheeks. one begrudgingly smooch & one icy kith. as a deku kin, she’s completely satisfied. you’re welcome

@izusun x AIZAWA & ORCA similarly, i can’t have my bestie here with just ONE babe. so, i thought why don’t we get a fatherly figure & a dad bod to give her all the love she needs. so yes, bestie, you two deserves hugs at both sides of you. a twiggy one & a muscly one. the sun needs some shade, & that shade is these men.

@midnightpirates x SUKUNA he’s a mass murderer !! you can’t— oh, but i can. you see, yanna here hates mahito & guess who was the one to fuck up his shit. ah, that’s right, it was sukuna. two mahito an/tis sitting in a tree <3 it’s the perfect match made in hell.

@goth-himbo-dabi x DOCTOR WHO once again, people might wonder: why not dabi? my answer? it’s because my bby here finds the twiggy men attractive. i know, bummer. & you can’t get any twiggy-er than david tennant & matt smith. but which doctor? all of them.

@minisheku x KAMINARI i see you simp for his dunce face. & honestly, who wouldn’t?? also, i originally put sheepku,, but that’s ,, a bit weird. but, here’s the solution. you OWN a sheepku, with kaminari. ah yes, a modern day family unit. & he can entertain you, as well as be a source of electricity for your drawing tablet !! resources !!

@oyavaski x EN you said he was hot literally in your tags earlier in a reblog. so, i am simply gifting you water to quench your thirst. may you two meet in afo, & fall in love in the subconscious of deku’s mind. will deku feel awks? yeah. but like pfft, he’s so whipped for bkg, he’ll forget you two chilling in the corner of his thoughts.

@okworstie x GOJO & WATARI i never have to look up the gojo tag, like ever. because you’re always plastering his face all over my timeline. & yes, this is a good thing. but, the same applies to watari. i have never even seen bakudiez, or whatever it’s called, but apparently he’s aro, & there’s a moth man, & tape hits post limit thursday’s? yeah just keep both, mimi.

@rrandomtthings x AN/TI as one of fellow loyal, amazing bkdks, i think it’s only fitting that you find true love with a bkdk an/ti. create the banti we seek in our community. the enemies to lovers trope is in your blood, written in your deku genes. so, i dedicate the banti movement with this small offering of a ship. may you find diamonds on the minecraft server & build a diamond cabin.

@believeyourgalaxy x ITADORI you two are such cinnamon rolls !!!! super friendly. super kind. super relatable. & together, you guys can pin over megumi. maybe hopefully, sam can help itadori with his low iq brain to finally get together with megumi. because damn, sam can be like “this is my boyfriend, itadori. & this is itadori’s boyfriend, megumi.”

@wrensknight x SHIRAKUMO i didn’t even know it was oboro birthday, until you not only made a public post about to, but made art for him. cloud boy needs that partner to respect & cherish him entirely. & you just treat him so right?? draw him so good?? i hope you can go cloud watching & then later, ride the clouds with him. till death do you guys uh,, you know,,

@b1m0 x MIDORIYA you can't stand when he gets injured, let alone reckless & trying to save the world, when he should literally be saving his own ass. but, that just means you care about him DEEPLY. plus, you both are wholesome people. obviously two cinnamon rolls make a whole bakery !! & who doesn't want a bakery ?? i sure do! wehjw idk why i brought the point here, but just know you two make sense.

@mysterionrising x RENGOKU & VIGILANTE DEKU it’s that enemies to lovers trope once again !! for someone who wrote him off as annoying the first seconds she met him, kenny sure flipped over to the stan side. ever since then, i can only see kenny when i see rengoku. but, you know who else reminds me of kenny. vigilante deku. it’s super fruity that you have an entire bomb playlist for him. so keep him too !!

@kamishima x KIRISHIMA you are the biggest kiri simp i have ever met. you basically ship kiri with anyone who makes him happy. though, you do have a lot of ships, but with kiri it’s different. & so, i was thinking ‘mmm, if bug ships kiri with so many people?? shouldn’t she ship him with HERSELF?’ boom. suddenly both kiri & bug are happy, with a lovely home. my work here is done.

@ckatsudon x LAW LIET did i dig through your blog. why yes. & you know what i found? reblogs & tags dedicated to L. he’s best boy. he’s precious. he deserves a better end. an end with you. mmhmm !! because if we rewrote death note, where you were light, i think L & light could have been canon. & that also would make you happy. & the rest of the entire world

@drfox-kinnie x UNIKITTY i don’t even know the show, let alone who unikitty is exactly. but, you reblogged a banner, confirming your love for unikitty. & so, i am of course doing you a big favor !! she’s bubbly, friendly, & passionate just like you !! & bestie, while i may not know nothing about her, i know you love her. so, maybe you two platonically have a wonderful time, adventuring with the other wholesome characters !! also,, is she big enough to travel on? if so, look i got you a cat car!!

@midorree x MINACHAKO i ship you with another ship. why? because i can. besides, you are like my moot who is genuinely a head leader of the minachako ship on my timeline, & you have steadily been converting me?? but, i also noticed that mina AND uraraka have stolen your heart, & you have yet to fight them for it back. i hope you three can go into a brawl & see who can grab each other’s hands fastest.

@kiribakuxkacchakolover x HATSUME YOU HAVE IT AS YOUR TITLE HEADER. like you are literally having a billboard that calls mei your cutie patootie. &, you ask, & you shall receive. i hope you two can be the dorkiest nerds together, & ramble for eons & eons. i hope i’m invited to the transformer wedding you two will have <,3

@balaroo x MIRUKO like before, you too have your interest out in the open in your title header. but, you see, miruko is a total babe, with confidence & ego & with this stride that makes even the most alpha male quiver. you would be a total wife to miruko’s girlboss energy & that’s why this ship totally works.

@quix-mix x FREDDY FAZBEAR my precious lil young moot, i dug into your blog & noticed you enjoy the fnaf games. & mmm are you perhaps wanting to cuddle a certain demonic teddy bear? well, i approve. he'll fall in love, head over heels, with your art, he might not possess you right away !! might. but, listen, you always do enjoy the villains (; i gotchu !!

@lonely-rabbit x LANCE you said we’re moots & i agree, we are. however, i have noooo idea what even are your preferences. so, i went digging. & it’s such a coincidence that we bonded over our voltron trauma, & yet you still continue to simp over lance. &, like i don’t blame you !!! he’ll always be dumb baby & so all i ask is that you love him, for our sake. & sanity.

#star responds #THIS TOOK FOREVER STILL #EVEN WITH MY SHORT EXPLANATIONS #but tadaaaa #the moots have now been complied #& ahajsbkssj i HOPE you all like your pairings. even the dumb ones < #I ALREADY KNOW SOME OF YALL WILL LAUGH LMAOO #otherwise if you want to roast me & what my pairing would be. pls feel free to do so #this was so fun omgg thank you anon for this opportunity!! #anon #moots

[hufflautia]

in the soft silence of her love

Warning: biphobia 

Summary: Slytherin supports Hufflepuff after a break-up. 

“And then,” Hufflepuff continues angrily, “he said I would probably cheat on him with a girl!” 

Slytherin’s forehead creases while Hufflepuff paces around the dormitory.  

“He sounds like the type of guy who would ask for a threesome after you tell him you’re bi,” she replies. 

“Right?!” Hufflepuff plops onto the bed, her arms splayed over the duvet as she stares at the ceiling with blazing eyes. “Honestly, fuck him.” 

“Fuck him,” Slytherin agrees, laying beside her. 

“I’m glad I told him I’m bisexual,” she huffs. “Otherwise, I’d still be in a disgusting relationship with that rat without knowing how much of a dick he is.” 

I always suspected he was an ass, Slytherin thinks. But how was I supposed to tell my best friend I hated her boyfriend? 

Hufflepuff’s demeanor shifts into something undeniably desolate, and she closes her eyes. Slytherin sees a stray tear slip from her eye and past her ear. 

“Hufflepuff?” 

She turns her head to see Slytherin staring with furrowed brows. She doesn’t respond, not even when her eyes become clouded with tears. 

Slytherin pushes herself upright and says her name again but in a more gentle tone. 

That’s when she wordlessly sits up and holds her arms out, to which Slytherin scoots forward to embrace her. 

Her face wrought with emotion, Hufflepuff sobs into the crook of her neck. Slytherin doesn’t ask what’s wrong. Hufflepuff will talk when she’s ready.  

After several minutes, her breathing gradually evens out, and all that can be heard is her occasional sniffles. She draws in a deep breath and exhales shakily.

“He said I should’ve told him in the beginning. He said I tricked him. And it, it hurt,” her voice cracks, “to hear that. To hear him say all those things to m—me.” 

Slytherin hugs her tighter. “I know,” she murmurs, rubbing her back in a methodical manner. “I know.” 

Hufflepuff feels herself shake and tremble from the effort of muffling her own cries. It doesn’t take long for her to let it all out. Snot begins to leak from her nose as tears streak down her face, but she doesn’t bother wiping them off. It hurts. Everything just hurts. 

But with Slytherin by her side, it hurts a little bit less. 

- 

It’s been two weeks since the breakup. They’re studying for their Potions exam in the Slytherin common room, where it's quiet and peaceful. Slytherin is too focused on her work to notice that Hufflepuff hasn’t written a single word down in the past ten minutes. 

“It was you, wasn’t it?” 

Slytherin regards Hufflepuff with a puzzled expression. 

“What?” 

“You were the one who jinxed you-know-who last week.” 

Slytherin snorts and says, “If you’re talking about Voldemort, then no, I did not jinx that no-nose egg. But I would if I could.” 

Hufflepuff shoots her a pointed look. 

“Okay, okay,” she relents. “Yes, I turned your ex into a rat. But only because he deserved it!”  

Hufflepuff wants to be mad, she really does. After all, Slytherin has gotten detention plenty of times because of her—well, for her, really. But she cracks a smile. It was pretty funny to see him walk through the corridors with the tail still intact; Madam Pomfrey can do many things, but even her healing magic has limits. 

“You didn’t have to do that for me,” Hufflepuff says.  

Slytherin arches an eyebrow. 

“Who said I did it for you,” she asks. “Maybe I wanted to see him scurry around for my own amusement.” 

A wide grin stretches across Hufflepuff’s face. She doesn’t bother pressing her best friend about it. She knows the truth. 

They go back to their work, and before Slytherin can truly return her focus to the assignment, Hufflepuff speaks. 

“Thank you.” 

[I normally don’t put songs in one-shots, but I’m watching sapphic tiktoks while revising this fic, and I came across this song and it’s so beautiful that I simply have to include it because the vibes are immaculate and it flows well with the story. The song is 25 seconds long, but it loops for 3 minutes. You’ll be able to finish the story before it loops. No need to rush. Here is the link.]  

Slytherin meets her eyes and grins.  

“Of course,” she says. “You deserve the world.” 

Hufflepuff offers a soft smile. 

“Hopefully we’ll see it together.” 

And then she goes back to her work, but Slytherin doesn’t look away. Not yet. Not when she’s gazing upon the girl whom she has silently loved for years.  

Yea, Slytherin thinks. Maybe we will. 

~

Inspired by this post I found on Instagram (originally from Tumblr, funnily enough):  

Unrelated, but that gif is of a character played Phoebe Tonkin, my mermaid QUEEN. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed. Check out my masterlist, and lemme know what you thought of this one-shot! I love reading your comments <3 Thanks for reading! 

Tags: @slytherpuff-shenanigans @axieleration @sunnniiee @just--another--bean @determinedpines @zenobiagrace @asterinflower @cinnamon-roll-unicorn @mossy-axolotl @dumbbitch11 @hitchhiker-of-the-galaxy @notsowiseravenclaw  @arianatorpotterhead @luciferswife16 @walkinganomaly @asunshinepuff @lewispoolerpayton @adreameratdawn @thewitcheswords @oncergleekpotterhead @princessstoopid @stardustzainy @flvrqnce @multi-fandom-nutjob @eunnieah @iamahufflepuff @1hufflepuff @introvertedrae @princessstoopid @jasminedayz @magnoliamermaid @HOPEFUL-HUFFLEPUFF-PEEVES @peanut-in-the-goal @pufflehuff929 @sophiexteresa @da-fox-rangerrr @dawinehouse @shipping-book-keeper @xxavaloraxx @silverhetdanes @im-a-solanum-lycopersicum @elegantcroissantplaidpony @theoriginaljohnwatsonsblog @theoriginalsherlockholmesblog @vickeyunicorn @arianatorpotterhead @hmilkwhoney @simpering-simpleton @grandcyclecreation @sweetinvisiblewriter @marvelenthusiast10 @mvlpksvthisht @qiaopa @beardedhumanoid @jadefox05 @justanotherperson @inkedintothepaper @minty-malfoy @trippy-morgan @fangirlgeekandfreak @boilyourteeth @absentmindeduniverse @colettedelaurel @halfelven1 @happy-puff @coloring-bud @in-love-with-remus-lupin @autumnpleaves @crakencc @flyme--tothemoon @hedgepuffgirl @littleemotionalpanda @pancakes-and-sugar @korra4321 @aquietkindofthunder @qixnsriess @porksoba @thatfann @hellounicorn @i-have-a-bad-feeling @aasa2102 @zuko-28 @annie-mcl @clementines-x @writtenfoxscreams @randomwriter23 @cryingabtwandavision @coolninjavoid @urfaveslytherin @malfoys-demigod @tumlbr-trasher @violayaxley @wolfpack-arts-industries99 @zainieees-stuff @milk-leaves @priii @capt-sparrow @blueberry-9-pancakes @stressy-depressy   

#Hogwarts #harry potter #slytherpuff #hufferin #hufflepuff x slytherin #hufflepuff and slytherin relationship #hufflepuff #slytherin #hogwarts houses #slytherin x hufflepuff #hufflepuff-x-slytherin #slytherin-x-hufflepuff #slytherin and hufflepuff #hufflepuff and slytherin #harry potter oneshot #slytherpuff oneshot #slytherin and hufflepuff relationship #slytherpuff friendship #slytherin and hufflepuff friendship #harry potter fanfiction #slytherpuff lesbians

[tundrainafrica]

Note: Instead of posting a meta or a fic today, allow me to take a quick break from that because I think I really need to appreciate some people here and the fandom overall.  

February 7, 2021. 

Today, I turned 24 and my boyfriend surprised me with a gift I think I’ll be taking to heart for a very long time. 

The story behind the gift was as precious (or even more precious) as the gift itself and I thought I’d share it since it turned out some content creators were involved in this gift and I very much want to express how much this gift has defined this day for me and will place my 24th birthday as one of those birthdays I don’t think I’ll ever forget. 

Apparently, I had casually dropped both my tumblr and my ao3 account during one of our conversations and somewhere around November he had started looking through my bookmarks, my posts on tumblr and some of my interactions with people in the fandom.

I should have seen it coming. It had started with my boyfriend suddenly asking about my hyperfixation with Levihan.

Sav? Shipping? Sav? Binge reading ships and meta posts? Sav? Gushing about a fictional ship?

And I remember gushing about this with my seemingly uninterested boyfriend a long night after explaining what was oddly the most out of character thing for someone like me. 

I was sharing with him my metas and hcs and maybe, I was dropping a few of my favorite quotes along the way and it turned out he was interested. Suddenly he was asking me about my favorite fics, my favorite scenes. Suddenly, he was rereading my favorite fics with me and a few times, he was quoting those same scenes. I did find out he was looking through my blog when I got a random message from a really sketchy tumblr telling me to open my facebook. 

I suspected a few times that he could be planning something. December passed with nothing and eventually he stopped asking so I clocked that as a fevered dream or unnecessary assuming on my end and didn’t think too much of it after. 

It turned out my boyfriend had messaged my favorite authors about their fics and he commissioned one of my favorite artists (if not my favorite) to draw a few photos and bound them into a Levihan Anthology 

And it feels fucking amazing to receive something like this. To get Levihan which helped me through the worst of 2020, bound forever as a book I can just open up and read anytime. And I guess tearing up at receiving such a gift had me thinking of a lot of things at once (which were always at the back of mind) but I thought of sharing now. 

The past year wasn’t easy. Actually. don’t think it’s an understatement to say this past year was dog shit. With the covid pandemic and all plans after that cancelled, I’m sure we can all agree we had our ups and downs. 

I had a lot of my own plans completely thrown out the window for numerous reasons. I had plans of going to law school part time while building a career. And, I got a job right after college to make these plans come true. In September the law school I got accepted to (after working so damn hard the past year to get accepted) denied my appeal for night classes. I decided to drop my enrollment to focus on my career. A week later, my job laid me off. 

And for once in my life, I wasn’t going anywhere. And I lived in a house where everyone was always doing something and as soon as I lost my job I was pressured to find another one. But as we all know, searching for a job during this pandemic isn’t easy. I was still reeling after having dropped my enrollment just to focus on my job only to lose that job the week after with no prior notice. Everyone around me was busy doing their own thing. I had no one to talk to and for a while, I was falling into this pit of depression. 

My days consisted of me hiding under the covers of my bed in between the few interviews I would take day to day. Around that time, I decided to binge watch Attack on Titan as well 

I was never one to get hyper fixated in ships. In fact, this was the first ship since Royai and Victuuri which I have been so passionate. And this is a whole new level of passion. I think this is the first time I’ve ever written so much in this small amount of time. It was slow going. Just like Levi and Hange’s relationship, my fixation with this ship was a slowburn. 

Those days alone, I was reading fanfiction by the bundle, I was scrolling through the Levihan tag like a simp, leaving kudos in ao3 on a throwaway account and just scrolling through random people’s tumblr accounts. 

What happened during the one month? And when I was alone, sad, lonely and stagnant with no one to talk to, when everyone around me was living their own lives, all I had alone in the bedroom was Levi and Hange’s stories to keep me company between interviews. 

And the meta analyses and headcanons I had about their relationship were teaching me things. They were teaching me that life was never about how quickly you progress or how far you go. Maybe the real winners in life are the ones who can build good relationships, build relationships so mutually satisfying they keep each other growing and in those few moments reading, headcanoning ships, I did realize, maybe even as stagnant as I was at that moment, my life wasn’t dogshit. 

No one’s life is dogshit for a few small bumps along the way. Sometimes it just is part of the process of growing, learning to get past the worse, learning to manage relationships. And maybe it’s these relationships which make life worth living. Maybe it’s these struggles depicted in these stories and the bounce back. Maybe it’s the love, the life, the emotions so carefully described and depicted in every single story which makes life, life. 

With every single fic I read and every single fan art I scrolled through. Levihan was teaching my things about love, loss and life. 

Sometimes, these fandoms are the things which can catch people before they fall too low into something. These works and stories authors and artists shared so generously were what pulled me out of this state and are what inspired me to explore this relationship for all the potential its worth and maybe share my own stories and headcanons which people may learn a thing or two from or maybe just find some comfort and hope in.  

And these inspirations eventually evolved to writing. Writing 10,000 words in a day in between three interviews? I never was a writer but somehow, I found myself spending hours exploring the themes of love, loss and life with our favorite pairing 

I didn’t start writing out of nowhere. I didn’t start making metas out of nowhere. I needed the right inspiration, the right content to get me into this point where I could continue writing, reading, meta-ing, appreciating, headcanoning and everything in between.

And I just wanted to express my gratefulness to every single person in the fandom who had made it possible for me to pull out of that blackhole. Fandoms are underrated and I believe there are so many lessons which can be learned from the right content and from the right people. 

To the people who so willingly went along with my boyfriend’s little project: 

@faerielleart​ I saved A LOT of your art and they’re sitting in my google photos under a folder called Levihan and maybe I did share a few of your photos (the cheeks one and the beast titan one and the les miserables) ones to my boyfriend unsolicited just to show him how beautiful Levihan can be. Thank you so much for these beautiful drawings.

@lizaloveslevihan​ You were one of the first people I talked with in this fandom and dreams really was one of those stories that fucked me up a little bit, had me make a few misses on the commute on the way home one day but maybe it did have me explore the angst genre a little more, maybe it did have me explore Levi’s character a little more. 

@ariadneamare​ YELLOW. OH GOD. You know those letters? The ones which Hange left Levi at the end of the story? I ended up copying and pasting them and sending them to my boyfriend right after reading and I remember talking to him about this. We might be facing that same type of story in the future and I guess that ended up becoming a lot of foundation of our discussion and I guess, it’s just proof that there is so much to learn from fanfiction. There’s just so much to explore and fanfiction as a genre just does not get the credit it deserves.

@fanmoose12​​ I was exploring your works even before I started this tumblr up again. Maybe it was even your works which got me building my own headcanons from Levihan and writing from there. And I think I did leave a few anonymous messages telling you how I started exploring other genres because of your fics. Your works got my out of my dark place, it got me exploring a lot of other genres and for that I’m eternally grateful.

And somehow, my boyfriend picked that all up from late night discussions and one-on-one metas. Surprisingly, he wasn’t just playing along to humor his girlfriend. He was exploring the themes of love, life, loss and Levihan right along with me. (And got spoiled about Hange’s death along the way… Oops.) 

And I am eternally grateful for that and I made sure to shower him with a lot of kisses after he kept me in the loop with what has been going on these past few months with his sudden interest in Levihan.

And this huge thank you goes out to all content creators (authors, artists, gif creators, shitposters alike). Sometimes you never know who’s thinking about your work, who’s shoehorning your works and quoting them to their best friends. Sometimes, you never will find out but your work had pulled someone out of a blackhole which they’ve been stuck in and sometimes you never know that your work has been that seemingly small thing that had taught them a lesson in love, life or relationships. Sometimes, that one work turned out to be an inspiration which got them writing and sharing their own stories or making their own drawings

And I guess, the point is, keep writing. Keep drawing. Keep sharing pouring your love, passion and emotions into works of art because you never really know whose heart you touched or whose life you changed.

I have a job now. I decided to push law school a few years back and maybe take the time to work on myself now and maybe spend the next months or maybe years writing metas and fanfictions. I was pulled out of my hole. I was inspired. I have my own stories to tell and I don’t think I would have been here if I hadn’t spent the last few months reading fic after fic, meta after meta, appreciating art after art, 

So anyway, I just wanted to share some pics of my favortie fics, immortalized in one anthology, all organized by my boyfriend. And I think he made some great decisions with these.

(Bookbinding credits to @mayerwien)

#levihan #levi x hange #levi x hanji #lyf #life post