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marvelfilth · 16 days

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Family dinner

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x f!reader, Kate Bishop x Yelena Belova, platonic!Kate Bishop x f!reader

Warnings: a very poor attempt at humour

Summary: your best friend Kate needs backup after a mishap with Yelena's family

Masterlist

“I need you here yesterday!”

“What?” You whisper-shout, looking around the office to make sure no one noticed you ducking away to take a call from your best friend.

“Please, I'm desperate! I can't do this alone, they're like sharks and I just spilled blood!”

“Kate, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Yelena's family! They're scary as shit on a good day, but now we messed up real bad, and I think they're gonna decapitate me,” she whines.

“Okay, let's backtrack. What did you do?”

“...”

“Kate?”

There's shuffling on the other side, a deep sigh and then, “Melina found the handcuffs. With the fur. They were still attached to the bed.”

You snort, loud enough to attract annoyed looks from your coworkers. “Happens to the best of-”

“And the whip. It was on the bed too.”

You chortle, this time not caring about your surroundings, and swiftly move further down the hall. “She knows Yelena's a big girl, she can ha-”

“Natasha was there too!”

You stop in your tracks. Now that's interesting.

“She'll never let you forget it,” you say with all the confidence you have, even though you've never met the woman before. You know just enough from what Kate and Yelena told you to be sure of that.

“She's not letting me forget it now! She got all sneaky and secretive, whispering with Melina and looking at me, and now I'm on my way to a family dinner. A family dinner with my girlfriend's family, while said girlfriend got called away on some emergency mission,” she huffs angrily.

“There's no emergency mission, is there?”

“There better be!”

You chuckle, shaking your head. It's never a boring day with Kate Bishop.

“So,” she starts, aiming for a nonchalant tone, “I'm downstairs.”

“What?”

“Yep. Waiting for you at the front. Better hurry, parking is expensive as hell.”

“Kate.”

“I'm your bestie. And my girlfriend's mom found the handcuffs. I need you.”

You check the time, noting that the workday is nowhere near it's end. With a sigh, you head for the elevator, not even bothering to come back for your bag.

“I love you.”

“I haven't agreed to-”

“I know what that sigh means!”

You groan. “Yeah, yeah. You owe me.”

×××

Turns out, Yelena's family is even scarier then you imagined.

“So, Y/n,” Melina starts, looking at you like you're one of her lab rats, “Do you usually leave your… sexual… stuff after you're done?”

You turn red, choking on the wine. Kate sends you a look of pity.

Natasha smirks.

“I don't… I'm not sure- Um. Well, no.”

Melina hums, nodding to herself. “Good.”

She digs into her food, and you exhale in relief, feeling like the worst part is over.

“So where do you keep your stuff, Y/n?” Natasha asks over the rim of her glass, her eyes full of mischief.

Kate slides lower in her seat, boring holes into her fork.

Melina perks up, once again regarding you like one of her subjects. “I would also like to know. To pass the advice to my daughter and her girlfriend.”

You gulp.

“Well?” Natasha prompts.

You shudder from the intensity of the look she's giving you.

“Can we move on?” Kate whispers, looking around nervously.

“Yes, of course,” Melina nods, her eyes lighting up like she was waiting for a subject change.

Natasha sends Kate an amused smile, and you relax slightly. Now the worst part is over, you're sure.

“So, Y/n-”

Fuck.

“-are you single?”

You nod, shoving a forkful of some meat salad - which mostly consists of mayonnaise - to avoid talking.

“And you're gay, correct?” Melina asks, peering into your very soul.

You nod again, chewing fast.

“Why are you gay?”

You choke on a piece of potato, wheezing and reaching for a glass of water. Kate almost falls of her chair in haste to smack you on the back. Natasha just looks at her mother, unimpressed. “Really?”

“What?” Melina shrugs. “I'm a scientist, I'm conducting research.”

The redhead groans, rubbing her eyes. “Of course.”

You feel a little better now that Natasha is annoyed.

Melina still looks at you, expecting an answer.

You sigh, “Are you gay?”

She blinks, looking like an owl. Natasha chokes on a laugh, sending you a look of appreciation. Kate mutters something about bathroom and darts out of the room, hopefully to call Yelena and fix all this mess.

“Well,” Melina starts, deep in thought. “I suppose I've never given it much of a thought.”

You nod, feeling accomplished in swaying attention from yourself.

“Natasha.” The older woman turns abruptly. “You are gay.”

The redhead groans, sliding down in her seat. “Mother, please.”

“She's gay, and you're gay. You're both miserably single.”

“Huh?” You frown, affronted.

“Fuck my life,” Natasha mumbles into the table, her face pressed tight against it in a feeble effort of disappearing.

“Yelena's on her way!” Kate walks back into the room, triumphant.

“Finally,” you sigh, pointedly looking at the ceiling to avoid Melina's penetrative gaze. “Where's she, by the way?”

“Hiding, probably,” Natasha snorts, shaking her head. “Escaped the scene of crime and left her girlfriend to pick up the mess.” She raises her glass in Kate's general direction, “You're doing good so far, Bishop. Even brought reinforcement - good thinking.”

“Yes-yes,” Melina nods, her eyes darting between you three. “Yelena's a bit of a coward in that regard, but we have an important matter to discuss.”

Natasha glares at her mother. “No, we don-”

“Natasha can cook. Well, she can microwave.”

“What did I miss?” Kate frowns, settling back into her seat. “Actually, no. I don't want to know.”

“As I was saying,” Melina clears her throat, paying no mind to the murderous look Natasha sends her. You'd feel gleeful at that - Natasha's plan came back to bite her in the ass - if you weren't the other victim in this scenario. “Natasha can cook. She's excellent with knives. She's an excellent shot. She can dismantle a bomb in a matter of seconds. She's a… a catch.”

You smile at the miserable expression on Natasha's face, her cheeks dusted with pink.

“Oh…” Kate whispers, looking at you from the corner of her eye. “Well, actually, Y/n is-” she yelps loudly when your heel connects with her toes, and turns bright red at the shooting pain. “-a bitch. She's a bitch.”

The look in Melina's eyes turns gleeful. “That was excellent.”

Fucking hell, no matter what you do, your grave turns deeper and deeper.

Natasha snorts, chugging her wine like it's water. Melina's mouth opens again, and you say a stupid thing to save yourself from further embarrassment.

“Can we go back to Kate's handcuffs, please,” you mutter with a sigh.

The look of betrayal your friend sends you doesn't work the way she intended, because you don't feel guilty at all.

Melina's mouth snaps shut, her eyes widening. The sight alone tells you you said the wrong thing.

“Have you and Kate ever-”

“No!” you both shout, before the older woman can finish the question.

“Sounds defensive,” Natasha chuckles, reaching for the bottle of vodka.

“Wha- What?” You hiss, glaring at the spy.

“She's- Y/n’s not even my type! And I'm not her type either!” Kate splutters.

“Mhm,” Natasha hums, “that I can see.”

You gape, not sure if you're supposed to be offended. “What?”

Natasha smirks, planting her chin on her fist. “You need a firm hand. Your best friend is anything, but firm.”

Her eyes trail down your body, pupils darkening ever so slightly. Your cheeks burn and, suddenly, it's hard to breathe. You clear your throat and gulp down the last of your wine, carefully avoiding her gaze.

“O-okay. That's- okay, yep,” Kate mutters to herself. “Fuck my life.”

“Am I wrong?” Natasha husks, reaching across the table to play with the golden bracelet on your wrist.

Really, right in front of her mother?

The front door opens with a loud bang, and you jump up, relieved to see Yelena. The feeling doesn't last long, because a second later you notice the bleeding wound on her torso.

“So that was an actual mission,” you mumble, missing the way Natasha snorts in your haste to get Yelena to the couch.

Kate looks pale, but swiftly starts helping Yelena undress. Melina's ready with the first aid kid by the time they finally tear off the shirt.

“So?” Natasha whispers into your ear, sending goosebumps down your skin. “Am I wrong?”

Apparently, not even her bleeding sister can stop her.

“No,” you reply, “you're not wrong.”

She hums, satisfied. “I am miserably single, you know?"

You let out a loud laugh, not even bothering to quiet down when Yelena sends you a murderous look.

“I am miserably single, too.”

She smiles, nodding to herself.

“Want to fix that?” She asks after a bit, her eyes glinting in the soft evening light.

“They'll never shut up about it,” you groan, stepping closer to her.

“Yeah,” she hums, her grin stretching wider. “So?”

"A little help?" Yelena wheezes, glaring daggers at the two of you. "Hello? Your sister is dying."

“Yes,” you reply, not taking your eyes away from her green pools.

“Perfect,” she breathes, before pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of your mouth. “I'll pick you up tomorrow at six.”

"Fucking unbelievable," Yelena mutters and yelps when Melina shushes her with a pinch and a hissed "don't ruin my hard work".

Kate just looks like she's about to faint.

You grin. "I can't wait."

#natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #black widow x you #black widow x reader #black widow x female reader #family dinner

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saturnsbabyboii · 1 year

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♡Astro Observations for the Gays, Queers, and the Girlies♡

❣ Libra placements and the urge to be liked by people that don't like them (even though they themselves don't like them either)

❣ Gemini placements (especially Rising/Venus/Doms) have a contrast in their feminine and masculine style/taste/interests. They frequently change from one end of the extreme to another, rarely in between. Think bougie girls who like to get all done but aren't afraid to eat with bare hands or etiquette.

❣ Sun/Moon square Jupiter doesn't have the best relationship with one or both of their parents/parental figures

❣ I noticed many gay icons have a Venus in Gemini, Leo, or Sagittarius/ MC in a Water or Fire sign/ 5th house in an Air or Water sign/ Pluto in the 1st, 3rd, 5th, 10th (Of course there are exceptions but I found these to be the most reoccurring)

❣ Despite the perpetuated stereotypes, the people that I have known to throw down with others the most have been Cancers, Virgos, and Libras. Meanwhile, the Aries, Scorpios, and Saggitarians were either diplomatic or cowards (Cowards as in they would talk a big game but when push comes to shove, they'll run).

❣ Sun conjunct Saturn will stay stepping on people's necks

❣ Taurus Venus are obsessed with the 50s/60s

❣ Earth Moons emotional state can be reflected in their surroundings. When they're feeling low, they can either seek control by controlling others and being critical or they shut down and let everything go to waste (uncharacteristically of them). In extreme cases, they can become hoarders.

❣ Moon square personal planets 🤝 Being a bitch 24/7

❣ Virgo is the sex freak yall been sleeping on

❣ Water placements and the struggle of wanting to be left alone and also be given love and attention

❣ Also on the topic of Water placements in general, why do they never get along with one another?

❣ Sun/Venus in the 1st/5th/7th/10th/11th grow from a "fawn among sharks" to the HBIC

❣ Venusian (Taurus and Libra) and Mercurian (Gemini and Virgo) placements are common among prominent fashion designers/houses. (Anna Wintour, Donatella Versace, Karl Lagerfeld, Coco Chanel, Georgio Armani, Pierre Balmain, Marc Jacobs)

❣ Gemini, Leo, and Sagittarius are the epitome of the 00s "it" girls

❣ Your rising reflects on the purpose/struggle of your life journey.

Exp:

Aquarius rising's life-long mission is to find who they're and be themselves

Taurus rising's lifelong mission is to be comfortable with themselves and find gratitude

Sagittarius rising's lifelong mission is to find their purpose or calling

Cancer rising's lifelong mission is to find strength in their heart and let the world in

❣ Scorpio Venus is obsessed with movies. Especially ones that are historical depictions and/or true stories.

❣ Taurus and Libra, Scorpio and Sagittarius, Aries and Virgo are some of the most underrated friendship pairings

❣ Despite all the fame indicators, Chiron in Leo remains the most prominent. Many child stars have this placement. (Selena Gomez, Ariana Grande, Demi Lovato, Miley Cyrus, Keke Palmer, Justin Bieber, Freddie Highmore, Josh Hutcherson, Jennette McCurdy, Debby Ryan, Miranda Cosgrove, etc.)

❣ You attract people that have placements in your 1st, 3rd, and 11th house. Meanwhile, we are attracted to people with placements in our 5th, 7th, and 8th.

❣ The placement of the personal planets along with the rulers of the house mentioned also play a big role, but it pertains to the nature of the relationship than just attraction.

❣ The sign opposite to the sign of your Venus is usually in the big three of your early years crushes and people "you know better than to like". (They may also share a similarity or quality to said sign)

❣ My association of each Lilith signs with an iconic female lead (Movies/TV):-

Aries/1st house Lilith: Regina George 'Mean Girls'

Taurus/2nd house Lilith: Cookie 'Empire'

Gemini/3rd house Lilith: Brenda 'Scary Movie'

Cancer/4th house Lilith: Thelma 'Thelma & Louise'

Leo/5th house Lilith: Jade 'Victorious'

Virgo/6th house Lilith: Miranda 'The Devil Wears Prada'

Libra/7th house Lilith: Elle Woods 'Legally Blond'

Scorpio/8th house Lilith: Jennifer 'Jennifer's Body'

Sagittarius/9th house Lilith: Chanel 'Scream Queens'

Capricorn/10th house Lilith: Fallon 'Dynasty'

Aquarius/11th house Lilith: Veronica 'The Heathers'

Pisces/12th house Lilith Courtney 'Jawbreaker'

Byeee💅

#astro notes #astro observations #astrology notes #astrology observations #astrology #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces

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unnamed-romulan-commanders · 3 months

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Trying to gather data

#random #polls

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koiiiiijiii · 18 days

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random windbreaker headcanons

tw : no, kinda cute, x reader not included

⊹ Wooin believe in mbti types, if it says that someones mbti type doesn’t match with his, he will believe it.

⊹ Hyok ultimate stand is pokemon. he wants to be pokemon.

⊹ Harry actually dog enjoyer who prefers animals to people bc they are loud and use doping. and dogs don’t use doping. Noah always argues with him bc actually cats are cooler.

⊹ Mahon was super naive person in some ways. like it was enough to say something with straight, serious face and he will believe it.

⊹ Sangho drink water or strong alcohol like whiskey, vodka, soju or something that have degree higher than 30°. nothing else. it always either water or alcohol. and he hates cocktails. if u guy who drinks cocktails u r gay, his honest opinion, i just asked him!!

⊹ Juhwan actually have a shark. there is an app, where you can “buy” a shark and you can see its location. so Juhwan owns two sharks, their names is Bobby and Sam. he was really upset when Bobbys tracker lost and he can’t see his shark anymore :( Bobby was his favorite one

⊹ deep inside Juwon really lonely person, so partly he actually enjoys that he have Vinny’s company and at some, really rare moments actually think about him as his younger brother (then he have a call from his partners from dark business and everything goes back)

⊹ Juwon actually get tied of people really fast, so he doesn’t really have friends, only business partners like Sangho and some people like Umi, who was with him in university

⊹ TJ have tiktok playlist that contains hard brazilian phonk, the ones from epic anime edits, and he listen it in headphones and imagine himself as an anime hero

⊹ Minu was questionable about his preferences. before he met Mia he always spent biggest part of his time with boys from zephyrus and June, and he wasn’t interested in girls around him. he used to think maybe he had a crush on Vinny or June.

⊹ Aria really enjoys history classes and have best marks at this subject.

⊹ Vinny doesn’t understand concept of dating. like you just met random people and start see each other every day and then maybe marry and have kids? are you insane? you just see random person and think “oh u cool, u r my boyfriend/girlfriend now”. he genuinely think people are weird.

⊹ Shelly 100% high fashion enjoyer and maybe even wanted to be a model, but she is not tall enough, so before coming to Korea she was insecure about her height.

⊹ aside from apples Hajun enjoys cucumbers. they are like apples in vegetables world.

⊹ Kaneshiro hates iqos. same with sangho, either normal cigarettes or pipe with tobacco. no third option.

⊹ Jay Jo enjoy Gordon Ramsay shows. especially old “kitchen nightmares” where he travels across US and mock cafe owners.

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bvclee · 5 months

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Can you pls do a Eunchae x female reader[fluff]

It can be a series that is decided for you.

{I don’t see Eunchae x female reader,it’s really rare and she’s my bias.i get that she is a minor and so am I}

(eunchae is our cute babe, sure !!)

aquarium lovers

non idol!hong eunchae x fem!reader

genre: fluff

summary: you had a passion, jellyfishes. and you fell in love with someone that never seen one of them in her entire life.

you absolutely loved jellyfishes.

ever since you're a little kid, you had a sort of passion about them. when you used to go to the beach with your parents, they would usually warn you about them.

you kneeled down curiously, hands on your lap as your eyes narrowed watching the fish probably dying. your curiosity taking over what your parents had told you, you tried to touch it.

"y/n!" your dad yelled from across the beach running toward you as people all started to stared. he suddenly pulled you into his arms in panic as your mom also run over you.

"are you okay!? did you touched it!?" she asked, her hands travelling your face, looking for any kind of pain. you shook your head as you glanced back down.

poor jellyfish.

meeting eunchae was unexpected and probably the best thing that ever happened to you.

you loved to study in the quiet and chill place the cafe down your street was. almost 7pm, you decided it was now your time to go back home probably dropping something because a girl with blonde hair stopped you.

"sorry is this yours–? wow you're pretty.." eunchae stopped smiling, her face in total admiration.

you were taken aback not knowing what to do and in (gay) panic you rushed out.

since then, she would show up exactly at the same hour everyday just hoping to see you again. waiting for hours, giving herself an excuse to 'study', also because she wanted to reassure herself that she wasn't a creepy obsessed psycho.

she even told about you to her friends chaewon and kazuha.

and finally, you came. eunchae recognised you right away, her eyes like glued to you trying to build up the courage to talk to you.

"um hello..!" the voice got your attention, surprised to see the pretty blonde girl again.

"i still have your pencil..." she said getting it out of her bag immediately as if it was waiting for you.

you smiled and she swear it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

"thank you." you said waiting for her name.

"eunchae!" she said a little too exited, earning a cute giggle from you.

"and i'm y/n."

"what do you mean, you've never seen a jellyfish in real life?? like never ever??" you asked getting up from your girlfriends lap as her arms tried to hold you back.

she slightly whine confused.

"no i haven't, like you've seen a jellyfish before?"

"of course i have! i talk about it every time i got the opportunity to!" you defended yourself as eunchae giggled pulling you back into her warm cuddles.

she placed a slight kiss right below your eye.

"then, we should probably do an aquarium date."

"oh my-! yes that's such a good idea actually!" you exclaimed exited about her idea as she smiled at you.

and here you were.

holding hands and walking through the aquarium. you way more than exited to tell some more of your knowing about jellyfishes.

"– well sharks look cute." eunchae declared as you roll your eyes.

you could see the way her eyes were captive. maybe she also found herself a admiration for something, even if it was sharks.

finally, it was the time to go into the jellyfishes room.

your eyes sparkled at the sight of your favourite thing (besides eunchae), rambling about how happy you were that eunchae got to see them for real.

eunchae glanced at them curious, probably why you were so obsessed over those thing and then grin at you.

"they're super cool!"

"told you!"

chuckling a bit, eunchae handed you her phone and you understood that she wanted you to picture the moment surely for her instagram feed.

eunchae wrapped her arms around you still watching carefully the jellyfishes as she laid her head on yours.

"i love you, y/n." she kissed your cheek as she continued to listen about whatever facts you knew about jellyfishes.

she's now sure, it was the best date you two had shared, also wondering if there would be any jellyfish plushies at the memory store.

#x reader #x female reader #lgbtq #wlw #le sserafim #hong eunchae #hong eunchae x reader

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victimsofyaoipoll · 10 months

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Round 1

Propaganda Under Cut

Yona

She’s the fiancé of prince Sidon, (arranged marriage) and since Sidon is almost always shipped with link, people went feral the second they saw her. She’s genuinely very kind and cares about her people and wants Sidon to be happy! She is NOT jealous, she wants him to hang out with his Best Friend. I have seen firsthand in real-time, people being SO misogynistic and cruel, and saying she’s ugly. She’s good in a crisis, very friendly, has a great design, and she doesn’t deserve the hate in the slightest!

I'M DESPERATELY TRYING TO FIND CUTE ART OF HER AND SIDON AND QUITE LITERALLY EVERYTHING REGARDING HER IS JUST STRAIGHT UP BLATANT HATE AND DENOUNCING HER AS SOME LAST MINUTE ADDITION TO THE STORY AS ORCHESTRATED BY JOHN NINTENDO TO STOP SIDLINK FROM BEING CANON LIKE THIS IS THE THE JOHNLOCK CONSPIRACY OR SOME MESS... i just want to see cute art of a green shark woman with a lovely smile :((((

so the breath of the wild fandom is pretty well known for REALLY liking prince sidon aka that one really tall fish guy. and they're also really well known for shipping him with link because every fandom needs a gay ship right. so then the sequel (totk) comes around and it's revealed that sidon has a fiance now and it's not link it's some zora girl from another domain. the game hasn't even been out for a month but i've seen people act so vile towards her like yona get behind me!!!!

Zelda

She spent 100 years in a metaphysical wrestling match with an ancient and primal evil after seeing it destroy almost everyone and everything she held dear in the hopes of saving the few that remained and Link's main goal after HIYAHing his way out of a amnesia-inducing coma was to come in and tag team said evil in order to save her and like 90% of the memories he can regain focus on their relationship with each other and its gradual improvement up to the point where Link fucking dies protecting her and it's the push she needs to awaken the power to push back the blight and PEOPLE ARE STILL OUT THERE IN THEIR POST-CANON FANWORKS TRYING TO TELL ME THAT LINK FUCKS OFF AND LEAVES HER ALONE TO GO SMOOCH THE HOT FISH PRINCE BECAUSE ZELDA WAS BEING TOO OVERBEARING OR WHATEVER AND HE COULDN'T DEAL WITH THE EXPECTATION??? LIKE ZELDA'S WHOLE FUCKING ARC WASNT ALSO ABOUT HER STRUGGLING WITH EXPECTATION AND FAILING TO LIVE UP TO IT AND YOU WANT ME TO BELIEVE THIS WUALITY THEY BOTH OSTENSIBLY HAVE IN COMMON WOULD DRIVE A WEDGE BETWEEN THEM?? WHERE'S ZELDA YOU COWARDS?? I DON'T EVEN CARE IF YOU DON'T WANT HER AND LINK TO BE TOGETHER, JUST STOP DIMINISHING THE GRAVITY OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND MAKING ZELDA SUCK FOR NO REASON. SHE'S A BIG NERD! SHE GETS TOO IN HER OWN HEAD! SHE'D DO ANYTHING TO HELP THE PEOPLE SHE CARES ABOUT! SHE UNASHAMEDLY AND EXCITEDLY TRIED TO FEED HER PERSONAL KNIGHT A LIVE FROG IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE! HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE HER

Im specifically saying botw Zelda here because oh my gOSH this poor girl can get made out to be like a horrible bitch when people. want link to get that shark dick. on average she doesnt get thattttt badly treated compared to some others but goddamn.

title character but people hate her because they want link to get w sidon. so she gets fridged or entirely forgotten even though shes literally his canonical soulmate and they have been reincarnated together hundreds of times (w ganon but whether u make em poly or make him the long suffering third wheel is up to you). people will be like oh but zelda was mean to him that one time (??). be serious w me rn. she just got removed from fandom entirely and if that isnt the epitome of victim of yaoi idk what is.

#poll #round 1 #princess yona #totk yona #princess zelda #botw zelda #totk zelda #botw tears of the kingdom #botw #totk #legend of zelda

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