#hearing about the death of someone with an ED "I mean she just had to eat. thats on her'

[anawkwardlady]

Sometimes my mom is pretty iconic

#pretty iconic of my mom to say #RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME #hearing about the death of someone with an ED "I mean she just had to eat. thats on her' #nana is posting #cupbreak #tw ed

[estrellami-1]

If I Should Stay

Part 1 | . . . | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12

Just then Eddie walks in, raising his brows at the veritable mountain of food Steve and Eleven are putting together. “What’s all this?”

Steve smiles warmly at him. “Hey, Eds,” he says, which is certainly an experience. He’s spoken roughly twice with the guy—in his memory—but Steve’s three chapters—nay, three books ahead. Eddie is Frodo, about to embark on his first journey, and Steve is Bilbo, or even Gandalf: someone who’s done this all before, whose eyes carry the weight of worlds.

Speaking of, Steve’s eyes dim slightly the longer Eddie takes to answer, so he waves his fingers at Steve, trying to ignore the swoop in his stomach when Steve’s smile brightens again. “So… what’s this?”

“Dinner,” Eleven answers. “We are making sandwiches.”

Eddie nods, because sure. Why not. “Okay.”

“How’s the song coming?” Steve asks, and the swoop returns, because not only is Steve asking, but he’s asking about Metallica, and Eddie’s gay, metal little heart can’t take it.

“Holy shit,” he breathes out, grinning. “It’s so good, oh my god. I mean, it’s gonna take a bit to learn, but it’s gonna be the most metal solo I’ve ever done.”

Steve’s smile dims again. Probably because he’s remembering what happened last time, i.e., Eddie’s death. Eddie pushes down the queasy feeling.

“Eddie,” Eleven says.

“Yeah?”

She turns to face him. Her eyes are more serious than any twelve-year-old’s eyes have any right to be. “You will be okay,” she says. Then, apropos of nothing, “And I can move things with my mind.”

Eddie blinks at that. Apparently his face is doing something, because Steve chimes in. “She can.”

“I can show you,” she volunteers.

“Anything but the utensils,” Steve says in a distracted voice, like this isn’t the first time he’s had this conversation. Eddie wants to laugh hysterically, or maybe cry. Smoking a joint seems like the best third option, except all his stuff is at home. Fuck.

Then she does, lifts a whole cutting board—complete with tomatoes— and moves it over to him. He resists the impulse to snatch a piece and eat it. He doesn’t even like tomatoes, what the fuck, brain.

Steve’s watching with an amused little smile, like he can somehow read Eddie’s mind. That legitimately wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to happen today, so Eddie does his best to stop thinking about it, because he doesn’t think he can deal with more than one real-life superpower right now.

“I need that back, El,” Steve murmurs, and she grins at him before zipping it back over, stopping it just before it hits his face. He nods, brows raised, impressed. “Nice control. Put it down and go wipe your nose, please.”

She does, Steve watching her as she goes, fond little grin on his face. “She’s a good kid.”

“She can move things with her mind.”

“Yeah. Honestly, that’s one of the easier things to get used to. Y’know one of the craziest things, to me?”

“Do I want to know?” Eddie asks hesitantly.

Steve just grins at him. “Jonathan Byers has this baseball bat that he sticks a bunch of nails in.”

Eddie blinks at him. “What the actual fuck.”

Steve nods. “I took it, sometime back during the first year. Actually,” he thinks about it, “what month are we in?”

“Um. October.”

Steve winces. “Great. October…”

“Um. Twenty-fourth.”

Steve hums and thinks. “In about… less than a week, actually, I think—I don’t really know, the concussion messed up my days—oh, hey!” He suddenly says excitedly, then raises his voice. “Rob!”

Robin pops her head in a moment later. “What’s up?”

He grins at her. “No concussions!”

She stares. Slowly, a grin spreads across her face. “Holy shit!” She says. “No concussions!”

“No memory loss!”

“No hearing loss!”

“No eyesight problems!”

She freezes. “Steve. You were having vision issues?”

“Um. Not anymore?”

She groans. “Since when?”

“Um…” he thinks, tilting his head toward the ceiling. “Billy, I think. At least that’s the first time I really noticed it.”

She sighs. “I’m going to murder you.”

“Are not.”

“In cold blood.”

“Are not.”

“Nancy’ll help.”

Steve considers this. “She might. She’d be good at it.”

They both pause for a moment, then Robin turns to leave. “I’m gonna go make sure Jon doesn’t give you a concussion this time.”

“Have him make the nail bat, too!” Steve calls as she leaves.

“What,” Eddie says desperately, “the fuck.”

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#stranger things #if I should stay #pre steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #el hopper #Robin Buckley #platonic stobin #steve and el #el just wants to help #Eddie’s doing his best not to freak out every other second #he’s trying yall #starambles

[wormdebut]

13 for the wrapped game, also, you're wonderful and talented. as if spotify wrapped itself wasn't already great, now we get new worm words from it, hell Y E A H

Oh BOY LEX. Do I have a MESS of a Blurb for YOU. #13 on my Spotify Wrapped is Barbie & Ken by Scene Queen and Set It Off. Enjoy whatever this is.

——

"Eddie!" Chrissy squeals over the radio bluetooth and Eddie can't help the smile that break across his face.

"Hey Chris! How's my best girl?" Eddie hadn't seen his best friend in months. She had gone off to IU and Eddie had stayed in Chicago working on a tattoo apprenticeship.

They had both been so busy, Eddie with his work and Chrissy was busy with college and--well Chrissy had apparently went a gotten herself involved with a metal band? Eddie was very confused about the specifics, but he had finally gotten some time off and Chrissy's band had a gig in Indianapolis tonight so, they were making a vacation of it.

"I'm so excited you're coming tonight! The band is so excited to meet you! Even though they've seen pictures, they are convinced I made you up!" Chrissy giggles and Eddie laughs with her.

"Yeah, I'm sure they think I'm a garbage best friend, but I'm gonna be the loudest motherfucker there, I swear to god. First round after the shows on me!"

Chrissy keeps laughing. "I'm glad you said it, cause Stevie was already telling everybody that my imaginary best friend had the honors of first round anyway."

Chrissy had told Eddie about Stevie. Going on, and on about her. 'Stevie is a fucking musical genius.' 'You won't believe what Stevie came up with today.' 'God, I can't wait for you and Stevie to meet, you guys are gonna hit it off immediately.' He was glad that Chrissy had found a girlfriend, she deserves the best, but Eddie would have to lay it on think when he met this Stevie chick. Make sure that she takes care of his girl.

Chrissy was a raging lesbian and Eddie was Kinsey six gay, but they were platonic soulmates until death and Stevie is gonna have to know that Eddie will kill for Chrissy Cunningham.

The bar was fucking packed. Christ. Eddie should be jealous. Before he had started tattooing he had always wanted to play music, but, shit. He was just fucking proud of Chrissy.

After he had kicked back of few shots of whiskey he was able to push his way up to the front of the crowd just as the stage lights started going haywire. The crowd was yelling and Eddie lost his shit when Chrissy came strutting out in a hot pink skater dress and chunk black doc martens. Her hair was pulled into ridiculously perky pigtails. How this was going to be a metal performance Eddie was very unsure, but he was excited as fuck to see her in anyway.

"Hiya Indy!" Chrissy yells. Eddie yells back with the audience and Chrissy squeals in the mic when she sees Eddie cheering for her. "Hi Eds!" She runs up grabbing his hand and Eddie laughs, squeezing her hand quickly, before she pulls away. "I'm Chrissy Cunningham and me and my band Versailles are super excited to be back here. Well, without further ado my boys are gonna come out here and we'll get this party started huh?"

The crowd goes wild and Eddie watches as three men come running out. There's a drummer, a bassist, and a guitarist. Eddie is stoked as hell. Watching as Chrissy hypes up the band. He hears someone in the crowd yell "Where's Steve?"

Chirssy ears perk up. "Stevie? Oh I'm sure Stevie's around here somewhere let me just--" She pulls out a hot pink flip phone. Eddie lets out a loud laugh as he recognizes the damn thing as Chrissy's first phone, from seventh grade. His laughter is cut short as a dial tone starts playing over the speakers

It's a bit.

"Hi Stevie! I--I mean Ken…Um…Are you free right now? I have a song that I need you on. Like now?" Chrissy speaks into the microphone, and the crowd zeroes in on Chrissy as she 'calls' for Stevie. Eddie is so busy being impressed with his best friends stage presence he almost misses the smoke show that comes running out from stage right.

He's pretty sure he should pick his fucking jaw up from the floor. The man has on the tightest jeans Eddie has ever seen tucked into clunky combat boots, framing his ass…quite nicely. His hair is styled far too perfect for a metal show, but Eddie is not complaining. The kicker though, is the hot pink tactical vest he has on over his shirtless, very hairy--fuck--chest. Is this a concert or is this one of Eddie's fucked up sexual fantasies?

Eddie snaps his mouth shut, eyes wide as he stares at Chrissy and…Stevie.

Oh Shit.

Eddie watches as Stevie--Steve--the source of Eddie's very confused boner right now--whatever the hell his name is--pulls the flip phone out of her hand and leans into the mic.

They both smile right at Eddie. He swears he sees Chrissy wink.

"Let's Party."

Eddie is both entertained and internally tormented throughout the rest of the show. Chrissy knew exactly what she was doing, forgetting to mention that Stevie was a) A man and b) exactly Eddie's fucking type.

Eddie liked pretty boys, and apparently this pretty boy knew how to scream, which--that was--that was doing for Eddie.

Throughout the show Eddie picked up that Chrissy did a fair amount of clean vocals and Steve did a mix between cleans and screaming. Versailles as a whole was actually pretty good, but Eddie was going to have to apologize to Chrissy, because he only had eyes for Steve.

Should he be embarrassed for popping a boner at his apparently metalheaded best friends show? Probably, but--he was not. Steve was fucking hot.

He was also a fucking menace. He kept running up to Eddie, grabbing at his hands, leaning down to scream in his fucking face, and Chrissy, when she caught him doing it, just smirked.

Eddie was gonna kill her.

Eddie leaned against the bar, waiting as the crowd around Versailles died down and spread out. He caught Chrissy's eye as she hopped off the stage running up to Eddie at full speed. She jumped into his arms, "Eddieee!"

Eddie huffed out a laugh. "You have so much explaining to do." He whispered into her ear.

Chrissy just laughed as Eddie set her down, smiling from ear to ear. "Yeah, and I think you owe a pretty boy a drink."

#steddie #steddie blurb #steddie ficlet #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #chrissy cunningham #wingwoman LEGEND chrissy #They fucknasty in the bathroom like an hour after this #worm brain #Worm Spotify Series #thefreakandthehair #steddie au #also the end word count for this was 1069 #😎

[canonicallyobserving911]

WIP Wednesday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

Season 7 FANON FanFic: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Chapter 27 will be posted soon.

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Currently 26 chapters completed: 1M Words; Rated: Mature

One chapter will be posted at a time.

___________

I'm excited to finish writing Chapter 27 because at the end of Chapter 26, while Buck was sleeping, he made a sound that Eddie hadn't heard before. He immediately sat up in bed and called Eddie's name but he was in a daze and to Eddie, he appeared to be still dreaming but since his eyes were open, he started talking to him to get his attention.

They spent the majority of the day before in the hospital after Buck collapsed in Eddie's arms and suffered a bradycardia event of epic proportions. He was unconscious and unresponsive after he received a package that was delivered to the firehouse while they were in Europe. Once he opened it and read the letter, he reached the part where it stated someone died and it reminded him of his own death and it triggered the event.

He had an MRI, EKG and an ultrasound to confirm what prompted the two events. After the results were returned, Dr. Salazar discharged him with a Holter monitor that he has to wear for 48-hours so she can check to make sure his heart hasn't suffered any long-term effects from the lightning strike. Currently, they're home alone since Chris is still at a sleepover.

___________

Here's a snippet from Chapter 27 of Eddie trying to console his husband after he woke up in a state of sheer horrifying terror.

___________

The sounds escaping Buck’s lips through his cries are filled with pain and suffering and Eddie recognizes it because he remembers it’s how he sounded when he started destroying every piece of furniture in his bedroom with a baseball bat almost two years ago.

“I love you.”  Eddie admits.  Then he starts speaking Italian.  “Ti amo, amore mio.”  [“I love you, my love.”]

“ED—DIE?  PLEASE DON’T—DON’T LET GO!  OK?”

“NEVER AMORE MIO!  I’LL NEVER LET GO OF YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE MY HEART, YOU’RE MY SOUL, YOU’RE MY EVERY—THING!”

As he continues holding on to his husband, he comforts him as they cry about the fact that Buck died last year.  He tries to compose himself several times but the weight and the magnitude of seeing Buck hanging from the aerial is a picture he can’t get out of his mind.  He reminds himself that they both can’t lose it because one of them needs to be coherent just in case Buck becomes unresponsive again like he did while they were at the hospital yesterday.

Even through their brokenness, he keeps talking to his husband.

“You’re alive my love.”

“You’re in the present with me and it’s January 3, 2024.”

“It’s been almost ten months since that night but you’re here with me and I’ll never let you go.”

“We’re going to die on the same day at the same time in 50 or 60 years from now.”

Buck’s cries are getting louder as he continues to feel every ounce of grief he’s been avoiding since last year.  And when his Holter monitor starts beeping, Eddie knows that sound means one of two things, either Buck’s heart is beating too fast or too slow.  Neither option is good because they’re both detrimental and they can both lead to Buck’s death if they aren’t resolved quickly.  If it’s beating too slowly again, he’s experiencing another bradycardia event and if it drops below 30 bpm, his heart could stop beating and that will lead to him dying.  If his heart is beating too fast, then he’s experiencing a tachycardia event which means he could have a heart attack if it’s not lowered to a level of 100 bpm.

In a soft and calm but stern voice, he calls, “Evan, my love! Can you hear me?”

He’s still crying but he nods his head while it’s lying on top of Eddie’s shoulder.

With the alarm still blaring, he says, “Amore mio, I need you to you to listen to me.  We have to get you calm so your heart rate will stabilize.”

Buck’s trying, he really is but he still feels that tug at the back of his head trying to take him under but he’s fighting to stay alert so he can remain responsive and conscious.

“Shh... my love.  I need you to listen to me and I also need you to breathe with me too.  Can you still hear me?”

He opens his mouth and he tries to speak but it takes several seconds for him to inhale enough air into his lungs so can respond.

Eddie doesn’t let go he just keeps holding onto him with their chests pressed together.

Is Buck going to suffer another bradycardia event? 👀

Or could he suffer from tachycardia this time? 🤷🏽‍♀️

___________

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?

Chapter 15 - Buck and Eddie have known they were exactly who the other one wanted in a partner since they met six years ago when they agreed to have each other’s backs. They’re in a romantic relationship, they’re both preparing to ask the other one to spend forever with them and by the end of the seventh week into their relationship, together they will plan their most important and greatest adventure for their future.

Chapter 16 - As Buck and Eddie begin to prepare for their marriage ceremony that will take place in Rome, Italy in December 2023, they start planning their first international adventure as a romantic couple. Even though Chris is still the only person they’ve told about their relationship, several people who know them have already witnessed the love they share and as the days continue, others will witness it too.

Chapter 17 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to departing Los Angeles for their international adventure, a moment in time will remind them; life is fragile, tomorrow isn’t promised and every second of everyday should be cherished because everything can change in an instant. The result of that realization will cause them to hold onto each other even more.

Chapter 18 - As Buck, Eddie and Chris prepare for family gatherings before and during the Thanksgiving holiday, the “Santa Ana Winds” start to blow and all sorts of expected and unexpected familial drama ensues.

Chapter 19 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to their wedding day, the universe begins to align everything so that some of their parent and children's relationships are strengthened while others come to an abrupt end.

Chapter 20 - With only 14 days remaining until Buck, Eddie and Chris depart Los Angeles, CA traveling to Rome, Italy, for their first family adventure, an early morning conversation about “tying up loose ends” helps Buck and Eddie realize there are still several things left unfinished on their ‘To Do’ lists. The question is will there be enough time to complete all of them?

Chapter 21 - Buck, Eddie and Chris are finalizing their ‘To Do’ Lists, double checking their itineraries and packing their suitcases in preparation for their trip to Europe so they can board their flight that departs Los Angeles, CA on Friday, December 15, 2023 at 3:25PM.

Chapter 22 - While Buck, Eddie and Chris spend the first 8 days of their European family adventure in Italy, their primary reason for going will be fulfilled as well as several others they hadn’t considered or anticipated.

Chapter 23 - As the Diaz Family continues their Italian family adventure, they’ll say, “Ciao” or hello and goodbye to a lot of things almost immediately after they become an official and legal family.

Chapter 24 - After Buck, Eddie and Chris arrive in London, England on December 24th; the Diazes immediately start preparing to spend their first family Christmas together. During their stay, each of them will hear a few choice words that will be the life raft to get them home to complete their searches to be seen and to be found.

Chapter 25 - After spending more than two weeks in Europe, Eddie, Buck and Chris are back in Los Angeles and they’re getting ready to attend Maddie and Chimney’s New Year’s Eve party. During the event, they have plans to make two surprise announcements but the question is, who’s really going to be surprised, the Diaz family or their found family at the 118?

Chapter 26 - Buck and Eddie are once again faced with their greatest fear of losing each other but this time it could be permanent and if it is, then they won’t be able to spend the rest of their lives together.

Chapter 27 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Read chapters 1-26 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

Chapter 27 will be posted soon.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #the buckley diaz family #buckley diaz family #buddie fanfic #ao3 fanfic #911 fanfic #911 abc #911 on abc #Fanonwriter2023 on AO3 #Hiatus Reading #“I'm still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!” #Chapter 27 will be posted soon. #Buddie multi-chapter fanfic

[respectthepetty]

I started to watch Kiseki last week thanks to my dash. My original plan was to bingewatch it after it`s finished if it has a happy ending which might have been wiser. However I am obsessed with Ai Di and Chen Yi. I think it`s interesting that Chen Yi tells Ai Di that they have to be quiet during their first night because Ai Di would get angry if he heard. I am not sure how he wouldn`t recognise Ai Di even if he is drunk because they have always been together but that`s not the point. He clearly cares about Ai Di and doesn`t want to upset him. But how does he know that Ai Di would hear them? Has he heard Ai Di with another man and has he been mad? Even though he calls Ai Di brother at that point he seems awfully upset when Ai Di is with other men and drags him away from them.

Anon, you didn't know this when you sent it, but I am the wrong person to ask.

I'm stressed.

I'm spiraling.

I'm laying in a field of lavender trying to snort the stems in an attempt to chill the fuck out.

All because Kiseki: Dear to Me's finale is so close that I feel it, yet I'm terrified the scene we are all clinging to from the extended trailer is a fake-out, and we are about to be MODC-ed all over again.

If this doesn't make sense to you, GOOD! Stay innocent, anon. Three episodes ago, I was worried about the same thing as you, but here I am on the eve of the eve of the finale, and I can't bring myself to fathom the show will kill someone, even though IT ALREADY KILLED SOMEONE!

But if you do know what I'm writing about, Anon, HOW ARE YOU SO CALM RIGHT NOW?! At least calm enough to send me this ask on the eve of the eve of the finale?! How is Laws of Attraction the only show to know the value of a bulletproof vest unlike all these mafia BLs WHERE IT SHOULD BE A GIVEN?!

And you're just as cool as a caterpillar on a leaf. I'm the caterpillar in the cocoon dissolving into liquid mush freaking the fuck out about death and bulletproof vests, while you are munching on the good bits of this story. Teach. Me. Your. Ways. I'm over here praying to all the santos about a FICTIONAL CHARACTER! My ancestors are judging me right now. So is God.

So due to divine shade, I'll try to answer your question - Chen Yi admitted he was always jealous of Eddie being with other people which is why he was dragging Eddie's ass out of places, (so I can't imagine him being on your level of chill if he heard Eddie having sex with someone else), but Chen Yi didn't realize that it was jealously and possessiveness until Eddie was . . .

Until Eddie WASN'T THERE!

See, I'm already detouring again! Because what will Eddie do if Chen Yi ISN'T THERE?!

I don't care if this chick is Zhang Teng's sister avenging his death or just has a crush on Baker Boy. She is the sole female character, and as a feminist who supports female wrongs, if she is the shooter, Mortal Kombat "FINISH HER ASS"

I support the gays, the goths, and the girls, but in the words of a woman who got it, Jane Austen,

Had not my feelings decided against you, sus high school girlie— had they been indifferent, or had they even been favorable, do you think that any consideration would tempt me to accept the woman who has been the means of ruining, perhaps forever, the happiness of a most beloved menace?

She better have really gone to the dumpster to throw that glass she just conveniently broke and helps step in to save Chen Yi when she witnesses the shooting because if not . . .

"FUCK"

#kiseki: dear to me #I can't be rational about this show #I'm losing it #someone come pat my head and tell me I'm too pretty for this stress #I need them to be happy #I don't want an apology tour from Taiwan! #Chen Yi better believe in bulletproof vests #don't do this to me again Taiwan #don't you dare! #don't make me beg #because I will #knees to cruel gravel #forehead on your shoe #don't do this to me!

[leeofthevoid]

Pretty little Rose

Venetia Catton x Reader

A/N: To my lovely girl who deserves everything. This one is for you.

Warning: Mentions of ED, Major character deaths, Strong language

So what if you were there every time Venetia had to puke because of Alcohol? You have always been there since she started when you were twelve and little Felix was ten. Always the sloppy one. 

Who cares if you were the one to dye her hair blonde ever since she saw her mom’s old modeling photos just for her to hear Elspeth say it didn’t fit her and it looked tacky? 

The one who held her when she cried about how little love she felt, “I’m always here for you, Venetia. I’ll always love you.” and gets a small chuckle from her, getting a kiss on the cheek as she dries her tears.

Venetia was very quick to tell you about her firsts. Her first kiss, make-outs, hell, you were the first to know how she lost her virginity when you were fourteen. It was irritating to hear those, but you never had the heart to tell her. However, it was hilarious to see her face scrunch up when she found out you already had your firsts way before her. It was a Catton pride thing.

The one person she’d call when she had no one to turn to when you were leaving Saltburn to go back to the city and attend school again. You don’t even ask her about anything since she always tells you everything. It went on until year ten, when she stopped talking to you completely. 

There was even a time when you and Felix bonded more than how you and Venetia did because she started to entertain the boys who asked her out. It was apparent how much she loved the attention she got. But every time she caught you and Felix laughing at something stupid, she had that longing look, like when she talked about her parents. Pretty weird to see from someone who ghosted you and killed off your friendship.

You did have your friendship redemption two years later when she stumbled into your room drunk and crying, screaming at you for not trying to talk to her harder. She confessed about playing hard to get because it made her feel nice. And got madder when she saw you and Felix bonding and playing at the pond. “You can’t just become Felix’s, you’re mine! I had you first!” She slurred a little, but that doesn’t mean her message wasn’t clear. You caught her when she tumbled down to your bed and laid her gently on the bed before she pulled you down with her. To put it simply, she kissed you. Very roughly, too. She wasn’t a bad kisser and maybe quite good, but she put in so much emotion and hunger in it that it had to stop. 

When you went to university, Venetia didn’t like that you went to Oxford instead of  Cambridge with her. You said it was because you wanted to be an excellent example to Felix and Farleigh, to which she tried to fight you by ranting about how you lost your love for her when you started hanging out with them more. Of course you disagreed and set aside your pride by giving her a tight hug that she always caves into.

You quickly drove to Saltburn when your summer started after your second year at university when you found out she had dropped out. Venetia wasn’t very good with her food and how she saw herself. You always tried to help her go through those darker days when she felt like shit and had no good relationship with food. You always tried to make her favorites, which Venetia happily ate and stayed a little to digest. The fact that she tried to sit for thirty minutes more after she ate made you realize she tried. Though…She dismissed your suggestions about going to a professional together. 

It never bothered you when Venetia confided in you with boys. Hell, you were the one always making sure she was stocked up with protection and mailing her aftercare products you thought would benefit her. “You’re like a dad sometimes, Love. You should totally date me.” “Haha. Sarcasm is not welcome in this household, Vee. I need you to be safe out there, alright?” She chuckled from the other line and sighed. “I didn’t hear a no.” You laughed. God, you love her laugh. 

The next few years were hard to keep up with. You were so busy that you almost didn’t go home to see your family for the summer. Venetia always complained about you not visiting her at Saltburn. She always made you promise to answer when she called, and she even went to Oxford with Felix and Farleigh when they enrolled just to crash at your place. 

Of course, there was some cuddling and friendly kissing between you. And very friendly moans, too, but why do you need to add that? 

Then the talking stopped one summer, which was odd for you. You didn’t pay mind because Felix eventually called you to join a party they will hold for a bloke named Oliver. You even got some scoop from Farleigh that Venetia and Oliver had a summer thing that Felix didn’t like. Vee never really had a chance to share Felix’s toys. That's probably why she kept you around, but who cares? 

You saw Venetia with that beautiful spider dress of hers while you dressed up like those silly little elves from the “theme,” which no one cared to follow. “Hey Vee, you look dashing as always.” She chuckled and poured you some more of her champagne. “You’re such a flirt sometimes, so I keep you around.” You rolled your eyes before settling down on the couch next to her. She swung her legs on your lap and made herself comfortable. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. You look good, Love. Something about university made you stunning.” You patted her legs and smiled. “It would be a crime to show up and not look my best.” “You always look your best.” She smiled that pretty little smile, her hands finding their way into yours. Venetia didn’t dye her roots without you to help her, leaving a swell of awe in your chest. The night went so well between you two, and it was splendid. 

The next time you saw her. She was withdrawn. So pale and so sad. Life looked like it drained out of her eyes as you slowly stood beside her, putting a sunflower on Felix’s grave. You weren’t very traditional and knew Felix would have laughed at your need always to be different. You embraced her the whole ceremony while she just stood quietly. Her body leaning against yours as if she couldn’t stand without you. She looked lovely, but you hated how much sadness she pent up, how there was nothing said at all between you two that day. You will forever regret that day for the rest of your life…That was the day you last saw Venetia. 

The next time you had to see Vee, you couldn’t even see inside the coffin. You were trying so hard to keep it together while they all went through with the ceremony. You couldn’t stop shaking and losing stray tears as it rained down on you. When it was time for you to put your flower down, you opted for a pink rose. It looked so pure and unreal. It looked like her when she was so alive. You slowly leaned down and kissed the coffin, and slowly walked away. You couldn’t take it anymore when you stood beside a tree. The tears streamed down as your legs gave out. No sound came out as your emotions poured into you. Venetia was gone. Venetia will never come back. Venetia has left you forever. You sobbed and sobbed for about two hours. At one point, Oliver kneeled beside you and whispered in your ear. “We should have seen it coming.” Your heart dropped, but his words didn’t set in until after the day. You felt rage and sadness. 

You felt empty. 

There were many flowers in the world, but none as pretty as your little Rose.

a/n: Please tell me if you want more prompts like these!

#venetia catton #venetia x reader #venetia catton fics #saltburn fics #saltburn movie #felix catton #farleigh start #saltburn 2023 #oliver quick #I love my baby #she needs more love

[aroaceconfessions]

tws ahead of time: venting, discussion of medical examinations of sex organs (pap smear), masturbation mention

so i am. very asexual. sex ambivalent but i’m really just not interested overall. i’m also afab. which means when i’m 21 i’m gonna have to get a pap smear. which is gonna SUCK

being trans makes this twice as bad. i’m low dysphoria but the idea of ANYTHING entering my body like that makes me want to cry. like i get panic attacks at the thought of having to put in a tampon (i’m a pads person) it’s like. bad. technically i’d be able to handle it (had a short period of time before realizing i was ace + trans where i thought i HAD to masturbate bc “everyone did it” (my parents gave good sex ed but normalized masturbation a bit too much lmao)) but i’d hate every minute of it

so the idea of a pap smear horrifies me. first off- i have to let a doctor see me half-naked. this part doesn’t bug me too much because . it’s a doctor and it’s completely non-sexual but i still don’t like the idea of anyone seeing . that

then i’d have to just fucking sit there while they put a fucking giant cold metal tool in my body so they can reach my fucking CERVIX???? and THEN they’d have to brush cells OFF of said cervix??? no. no no NO that gives me such bad anxiety it’s fucking insane.

i’m also terrified it’ll hurt because. i’m not gonna be sexually active and i don’t even fucking use tampons. and i KNOW that if i go to a good gyn then they will find ways to help me be less scared or feel it less but i still hate the idea of sharing that vulnerability. i’m a crier and i do not want to cry in front of a doctor because i’m scared of such a normal procedure. it’s less a fear of judgement and more just a pride thing i think. i know they deal with it frequently i’m just kinda horrified. the idea of coming out as ace to someone who has control over my health is also actually terrifying esp bc i live in texas

if i could i’d just get my whole uterus removed and solve the problem but apparently it “produces important hormones” that i don’t want to throw off balance so. guess i’m stuck

idk i need to talk to my mom about it (she gives good advice) or maybe my aunt (similar feelings towards sex as me) but god it just sounds so scary. i’m incredibly scared for it.

that being said if you have a cervix and are 21+ (25 if ur british) then you do need to get a pap smear once every three years. it may be horrifying but cervical cancer is way scarier. i’m sorry it sucks for us but it’s like life-or-death important. can’t really afford to skip out on it unfortunately :(

if anyone else has similar worries and/or has had a pap smear i’d love to hear about it in the notes. no pressure of course privacy n all but it’d make me feel less alone so if you’re comfy sharing. hope everyone’s having a good [time of day]

#asexual #ace #aspec #acespec #sex ambivalent #sex indifferent #gynecology #gynecologist #reproductive health #reproductive healthcare #pap smear #transgender #trans #enby #nb #nonbinary #non-binary #non binary #trans masc #transmasc #trans masculine #transmasculine #trans man #trans boy #transgender man #transgender boy #trans guy #transgender guy #ftm #afab

[yandere-kokeshi]

Yandere Mitsuri, Sanemi and Gyomei with a gn darling who comes out as nonbinary

Request(ed): Yes! - Hello! I absolutely love your writing. may I request mitsuri, sanemi, and gyomei with their darling (or whatever you call it) who comes out as nonbinary? (originally f to gn). Stay hydrated! — Requested by 🍡 anon.

Warnings: yandere themes and beating up people.

Authors note: Akkk, this was so fun to write. This is probably one of my favorite to write!

Please request Gyomei more!! He's so underrated. Hope you like this 🍡 anon!!

Mitsuri Kanroji:

Extremely supportive. Once you tell her, she’s not hesitant to give you a big hug, plastering your face with kisses as she tells you she’s never ever gonna stop loving you just because of who you are. She’s happy that you came out to her.

Mitsuri is immediately doing everything in her power to make sure you feel comfortable in yourself; whether that’s reminding you verbally, that you’re the most attractive person in the room or buying your favorite color clothes to make you feel more confident, she would do it in a heartbeat.

If you decide to get a binder, she will have it personally made with your favorite color(s). Once she sees you wearing it, she hypes you up and tells you: “You’re so pretty, baby!!”

But, she’s sorta-strict on the binder limit. If she sees you wearing it longer than you’re supposed to, she will politely remind you to take it off, then hug you super tight; referring to you as the best partner she’s ever had. She'd then offer to do some stretching sessions with her.

If she hears someone talk down to you or refer you to your dead pronouns, she would yell at them, saying along the lines of: “That isn’t nice, y’know? You’re so mean.” Afterwards, she grabs your hand, leading you two out of there. Afterwards, she buys your comfort foods and cuddles you to death.

Mitsuri oftens compliments you. She makes sure you feel good about yourself, often telling you look adorable or hot at times. She hates when she sees you down or self conscious of yourself, when you shouldn't be.

If you're having a bad day, she will try to make you go outside with her, pick some flowers and walk around; buying some Dango and getting more outfits. She will often tell you to shower with her, offering to massage you or just have a nice bath. This also goes along the lines of drinking water, eating, and frequently doing physical activities.

Overall, she loves you for you; she treats you like pure royalty.

Sanemi Shinazugawa:

Absolutely has no idea what it means, but is willing to learn what it means; once you explain to him about your preferred pronouns, he’s grabbing you, kissing your head and whispering in your ear: “I love you for you, nothing will ever change that idiot.”

Not in a rude way, but Sanemi really doesn’t care what you identify. He fell for you (personality wise), that’s all that matters to him. However, he’s very proud of you for coming out to him; seeing that you were nervous and would think he would be mad or upset. In which, you should never ever feel that way.

If you decide to get a binder, he will have an extreme-strict schedule to make sure you don’t hurt yourself. If he does see you wearing it over time, even by two minutes, he will have a fit; throw a glare towards you and wait till you take it off.

Sanemi is very observant, so if he sees you looking in the mirror or just having a bad gender-day, he will try to ask you to talk about it. If you don’t want to, he’ll respect it and ask to spend time with him; either read a book together, sit on the padio in the early morning or take a warm bath together.

Someone dares to misgender you or in a way, make fun of you? He will have a screaming match with them, throwing hands half of the time. Either, after he finishes beating them up or yelling at them, he will take you away and distract you as best as he can: making you your favorite food, giving you a massage and giving you cuddles.

Much like Mitsuri, he will compliment you; expressing his love. Sanemi would compliment you when you wore your binder, new clothes, or a type of accessory that brought you extreme happiness; when you come in, he looks at you stunned, looking at how nice you looked, he would just nod and smile a bit: “You look really lovely.”

Sanemi would and will never judge you, in that matter, he loves you no matter what.

Gyomei Himejima:

Gyomei is instantly accepting of you. He’s a bit confused at the term, but as soon as you explain to him, he’s gently nodding, a smile covering his face; a tear comes down his jawline as he expresses he’s happy that you came out to him.

If he scents an inch of discomfort on you, he will sit you down and talk to you for hours on what he loves about you and why you should too.

If you want a binder, he will gladly get you one. But, he will try to keep up with the time limit you can only wear. By the time it goes off, he gently reminds you to take it off, do some stretching and take a walk with him.

When someone misgenders you, he will correct them, but if they’re being rude; he will frown, asking if they’re sad or so on. He doesn’t understand why people can be so cruel. If they continue on, Gyomei will grasp your arm and guide you both out of there; going on a walk to ‘look’ at the rivers nearby and pick some flowers.

Whenever you’re having a bad day, mentally or just not feeling very confident; he will remind you that you’re absolutely perfect. Much like Mitsuri and Sanemi, he will offer to start a bath for you, order you some new clothes or allow you to vent to him as much as you want.

Gyomei will try to compliment you, but due to his eyesight, he will try to feel for any new clothing or accessories, saying something along the lines of: “Is this new? It fits you very nicely.” Or if you get a new bottle of perfume/cologne, he will comment on it, saying that ‘It suits you. It’s a lovely smell.’

Gyomei’s opinion will never change. He loves you because of how kind you are, not by your body; he loves you for who you are, inside-wise.

—

Masterlist || Please reblog and comment instead of liking!!

Do not plagiarize, repost, modify, translate or copy my work.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ©yandere-kokeshi

#yandere blog #kokeshi!! #male yandere #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere anime #yandere headcanons #yandere gyomei #yandere gyomei x reader #yandere sanemi shinazugawa #yandere sanemi headcanons #yandere sanemi #yandere mitsuri #yandere kny #yandere kny x reader #yandere x gn reader #yandere x gender neutral reader #yandere demon slayer x reader #yandere demon slayer #yandere girl #yandere male #yandere x you #yandere x darling #yandere x y/n #yandere kimetsu no yaiba x reader #yandere kimetsu no yaiba #yandere hashiras #yandere hashira #requested by 🍡 anon #kny x reader

[gilbirda]

Friendly neighborhood vigilante. Chapter 10

BatmanxDP crossover. JasonxJazz

[Read on AO3] [Read on FF.net]

Based on this post

First chapter || << Previous chapter || Next chapter >>  

“So, you have a date or something?”

Jazz was a bit tired today, but at least she managed to sleep more than four hours. That meant that she had enough energy to smile at the nurse, Christine, who thought she had a right to know about her private life. She witnessed Jason dropping her off one time, and had been asking for updates since.

“Yes,” she swallowed the urge to growl. “And it’s none of your business.”

Jazz continued walking, clipboard in hand, checking on each of her patients. She dealt with most of the considered ‘low risk’ - that is, those that didn’t require being bound 24/7. Still she had to be followed by an assistant, Christine, and a guard. Just in case.

“Doctor!” A voice she was glad to hear called for her. She turned, finding Edward Nashton watching her from the barred window of his door. “Just the lady I wanted to see!”

Jazz approached him, ignoring the guards’ protest and Christine’s gasp. Jazz was famous for disregarding protocol and getting closer to dangerous inmates. Many wondered if she had a death wish. Truly she just knew that whatever they threw at her wouldn’t be the worst that happened to her.

“Ed! How are we today?”

He got serious all of the sudden, his eyes going back to the retreating Christine and the tense guard.

“Something is going to happen,” he whispered.

“I see!” She caught on immediately. “Is there anything I can do?” She shuffled on her feet a little, placing her body between the others and the man.

“Hide. It’s something big. There have been talks of a breakout but I didn’t know when it was going to happen until right now,” he gave her a rare gentle smile. “You are a smart one, Doctor. Wouldn’t like to see your brains splattered on the wall.”

Coming from him, that was such a compliment.

“I’ll take note of that and talk to the chief about, sounds good?”

“Don’t,” he tried to get closer, but only managed to press himself harder to the bars. “Don’t tell anybody.”

She nodded. Information was pricey in the Asylum and everything came with a cost. Why was Edward telling her for free, she didn’t know, but she appreciated it.

“Understood. Take care, Eddy.”

“See you around, doc.” By his little smile, he was probably going to escape during the confusion.

Jazz wished she could do more. Really.

Her last proposal for a podcast made by inmates and for inmates had been rejected, again, even after making revisions. Even after getting Ivy’s agreement to behave in writing. Even after spending hours convincing Victor Fries that people would be interested in a science show.

Management in that place just didn’t care. She still had her powerpoints and her lists, but who would want to see them? If only someone with the power to change this place stopped and listened, she was sure something would change. Who knows, maybe even lower the number of attempted escapes.

Sometimes she wanted to burn the place down too, and didn’t blame her patients at all.

She was about to end her rounds for the day before going into the first scheduled therapy session, when the alarms started ringing.

***

“I already said I’m sorry! What else do you want from me!”

“For starters, I would like to know why the fuck are you in my apartment again.” Jason didn’t look up from his food, trying his best to ignore his brother lounging on his couch.

“I wanted to help.”

This made him look up. “Help with what?”

“With what you are going to wear tonight, of course!”

Jason put his fork down, trying to process his words. “You are not helping me with anything. Get out of my apartment.”

“I want to! I owe you after what happened last night.”

“Is not me who you have to apologize to, Dickolas. Jazz was a bit spooked.”

“I’m sorry! I thought it was your window!” The older man lifted his arms dramatically, glaring at the ceiling. “Your girlfriend has a mean swing, though.”

“I’ll make sure she knows,” he resumed eating, not really interested in the conversation. “Now get out of here.”

“I still want to help you find something nice to wear.” Dick stood from the sofa, wincing a little.

His head was still sore from last night, and that gave Jason a certain amount of satisfaction. After all, he had a bad time when he realized two important facts:

One, Jazz had seen too much. He had been so carried away by the amusement of seeing Dick passed out on his girlfriend’s shoulders, that he forgot he was half suited for the night. His weapons were everywhere, his helmet by the sofa and he already had finished strapping his boots and the knee pads. It wasn’t difficult to connect the dots about his identity.

Two, Dick had called him by his name. In front of her. He could have gotten away with her learning his identity, no problem - well, that’s a lie, he would have a lot of problems, but panicking wasn’t his style -; but the connection between him and the bats was already made and he knew that Jazz was smart and could pull the thread and find out everything sooner or later.

Also, as an extra, he had forgotten to put on a shirt. He wasn’t shy about his body, but the scary amount of scars would be difficult to explain. Especially the autopsy one he carried since his resurrection.

She got close, close enough to kiss him on the cheek, so she must have seen. She was very observant, she must have. It was a matter of time before she asked questions he couldn’t answer.

“Please tell me you have more stuff than muscle shirts and leather jackets.” The older man said as he started walking towards the hallway.

“Hell no,” Jason stuffed his mouth with what was left of his pasta and ran behind his brother, who made a beeline to his room. “Leave me the fuck alone!”

“Did you really seduce her with these?” Dick asked as he opened his closet, indeed revealing a series of black and white shirts and leather jackets.

“I didn’t seduce-”

“Maybe she is really into leather jackets. Hm.”

“Please, go away.”

Dick ignored him, humming to himself as he shuffled around the jackets, looking for something. “I mean, she must be into the bad boy aesthetic, so we can play with that.”

“I don’t know how you think you can ‘help’ when your own fashion sense is atrocious.”

Jason chose to just sit on his bed and let the chaos flow. He would reject everything Dick suggested and the man would eventually leave. It wasn’t like he had anything else to do until Jazz came back from work and changed for their dinner date.

Dick looked down at his jeans and Nightwing crop top he made himself. “You are just jealous I can pull off anything.”

“Discowing was a crime against fashion.”

“Excuse you-”

“You wore a mullet.”

“And it was-”

This time, he was interrupted by his ringing phone. It wasn’t a normal phone call - the screen was red and flashed with the alert signal that was activated when there was a vigilante-related emergency.

Jason’s phone started ringing, but this was a normal phone call from a number he thought he had blocked. He knew what he would hear before he even answered.

“Major Arkham breakout,” Bruce’s voice betrayed nothing. “All hands on deck. Will you help us?”

Why would the old man call himself after so long using Dick as an intermediate, he didn’t know. He didn’t care. He only had one question.

“Any casualties?”

Bruce breathed when he heard his voice, but kept the professionalism.

“Unknown. Nightwing and Batgirl are deployed to help with search and rescue.” There was a slight pause. “Will you help us?”

Jason looked up, but his brother had already left, knowing that a second of hesitation would be the difference between losing a life or not. Dick could be as airheaded and annoying as it gets, but he was a good hero.

Not that he would ever say that to his face.

“Yeah. Count me in.”

***

Jazz walked down the Arkham hallways, baseball bat in hand. She kept one in her locker just for shit like this. She knew, she just knew it was a matter of time before one of the inmates pulled something like this. It was a miracle that nothing happened while she was in the Asylum since she started working there a few months ago.

For now she was focused on getting out of the hospital in one piece. She was no hero, and it’s been a while since she had to fight anybody, so she wasn’t that confident in her abilities. Also, she was not used to fighting humans - and these humans probably had guns, she knew. Despite all her liminality, her strength and her quick healing, she could still die like any other mortal.

She didn’t want to die.

Jazz felt their presence before she saw the men, but fortunately they didn’t see her with the lights turned off as they were (the first thing that went out was the power, of course).

A few well placed swings and the armed men were down. She took their guns and threw them into an empty cell, closing the door. Then she threw the thugs into another empty cell and closed the door, memorizing the cell number to tell the police so they could find these men. They were thugs, but she wasn’t going to leave them to die.

Jazz was tempted to sweep the floors, but again, she wasn’t a hero. Heroes would come sooner or later, and she wondered which bat or bird would arrive to help evacuate and rescue the Arkham staff.

Batgirl for sure, Jazz started guessing in her head, she was famous for interacting with civilians and the public loved her.

“Hello?”

She turned to find a very bright flash of light directed at her. On instinct, she closed her eyes and covered her face, knowing they would flash like a cat’s if she let them open.

“Oh good,” Nightwing sighed and whispered, “she’s safe.”

Nightwing was here?

“I’ll text him.” Another person was there. A young woman.

“Please? The light?” Jazz frowned behind her hand.

“Sorry,” Nightwing pointed the flashlight to somewhere else. Just to be careful, Jazz kept her gaze fixed on the floor. If they asked, she could say she was afraid of the dark or something. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, I’m just a bit disoriented.” A lie, but she had to play the damsel in distress and get out of here before she revealed something inhuman about her.

“Have you seen anybody else on this floor?” The other voice asked.

“Cell five-oh-two, some dudes tried to attack me and I managed to lock them there.” Not a lie, but a half truth that let her get away without explaining how she did it. “Their guns are in the next cell.”

She heard a buzzing sound and a distant snap, and then the lights were back. The bright fluorescents gave her a bit of a headache after so long in the dark, but she blinked the pain away and finally looked up.

Indeed, Batgirl was there. She was already checking the cells she instructed and tying up the unconscious thugs. Nightwing was looking at her baseball bat.

“I’m not going to hit you.”

Batgirl hollered, but continued her task.

“I’m sorry,” the man said. “I picked the wrong window.”

Probably was going to visit Jay. Why? She wasn’t sure yet.

“Apology accepted,” she hoped her smile seemed genuine and totally not like was hiding she knew who his friend was behind the mask. Helmet? She had to workshop that a bit.

“We could take a commemorative selfie!” Batgirl bounced back when she was done with the thugs. “Y’know, to match the other photo.”

“Jay sent those to you?”

Nightwing sighed. “He sent it to the group chat with everybody.”

Jazz didn’t know how to feel. A photo of her in probably one of her worst looks was shared in the Gotham’s vigilantes’ group chat. Whatever, this is what she got for dating one of them.

Also, these people were really awful at the whole ‘secret identity’ thing. Or did they assume Jay already told her?

“Sure,” she nodded. An idea crossed her mind and she said: “Actually, that’s a good idea. My boyfriend must be worried sick with the news and I haven’t felt safe enough to text him yet.”

Something lit in their faces when she said that, and despite a situation going on, both vigilantes walked up to her to take the photo. First they did a few with her phone - a normal one, and another doing silly faces. Then Batgirl pulled her own phone from somewhere, thankfully she had landscapes of Gotham as her lock screen and nothing that could give away her identity, and they did a few more. At least this time Jazz saw she looked decent enough, given the situation, and verbally agreed for the photo to be sent to the group chat.

Whatever. She was on this boat now, apparently. Date one vigilante and the rest will soon follow.

At least, for the moment, she had Jay for herself. Until she ‘officially’ knew the secret, that is.

Or until they learned hers.

***

It was getting late, but Jazz was still up, waiting. She checked her phone again, re reading her conversation with Jason and his careful words about something coming up and not being able to check on her just yet, but that he was glad she was fine. Nothing about canceling the date or about how she managed to get a selfie with the vigilantes, of course.

She wondered if he was assuming she knew, too. Was that how this was going to go down? Act like she didn’t see anything and he acts like she already knows?

Jazz sighed. At least Danny tried to hide his secret identity. Unbelievable, a fourteen year old teenager hid better than a grown ass man.

She was brought out of her musings by a tap on her window - someone was there. She turned on a reading lamp she had next to the couch and once her eyes adjusted to the light she looked at the window.

It wasn’t Jason, but that she already knew. He would have just gotten in on his own, not needing an invitation.

She opened her living room window to the pale face of yet another vigilante, one she didn’t expect to ever meet.

“Red Robin.”

“Hi. I’m sorry, this isn’t a social call,” his smile was shaky. “I’ve heard you are a doctor?”

Indeed, one of his hands was on his side, trying to put pressure on a bleeding wound.

“Not that kind of doctor, but I can help you,” she moved away to let him inside, hands ready in case he needed help. Red Robin jumped in without much trouble, but slumped to the floor the moment he was safely in. “What happened?”

“Croc got a lucky hit. Did you know he has spikes in his tail?”

Jazz chuckled, running to the bathroom to fetch her first aid kit. The big one where she had everything she could need and more.

“Not that I’m going to kick you out or anything, but why are you here?” She asked, feeling surprisingly calm despite being in the presence of her current favorite vigilante, who was bleeding out at an alarming rate on her floor. “Don’t you have, like, better options?”

“My other options were either too far or unavailable.” He didn’t elaborate on that, and she let him. This one took the whole hidden identity seriously, maybe Jason could learn a thing or two. “And I heard in the vigilante grapevine you took care of Hood, so,” he shrugged.

“First of all, that was just a scratch and you look like you have a foot in your grave,” she bit her lip to not laugh at her pun. Danny would be proud. “Can you move to the table?”

“Sure.” He wobbled towards the table and slumped onto a chair, not caring about sitting on his cape.

“Can you take the suit off?

“Is this how you treat all the vigilantes or is it only to make me feel special?” He asked, his face paling more by the minute, but removed his belt and opened the suit enough to let her see the deep cuts on his side.

Why was Red Robin giving nervous looks to her opened window, she didn’t know; but he was tense and wary, ready to jump.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” She tried to speak softly, but the cuts looked bad under her kitchen lights and it kind of put her on emergency mode.

“Is not you I’m worried about,” he gave another look at the window before turning to look at her with masked eyes. Up close it was kind of creepy. “This is Hood’s territory.”

Made sense. He was the one she saw the most around there.

“And?”

“He’ll kill me, or try again, if he sees me here.”

Okay, Jazz was not going to comment on that ‘again’ part, but that sounded worrying.

“This is going to sting a little.”

“Go for it.”

The hero didn’t flinch or make a sound when she poured antiseptic on the wound and patted it with a clean gauze. It was worse than what it looked like at first.

“You’ll need stitches.” At his short nod she went to get her nitrile gloves, more gauze, thread and a needle. “He won’t kill you, I promise.”

Red Robin chuckled nervously. “You don’t know him like we do, Jazz.”

She stopped, realizing that, indeed, she didn’t know Jason like they did. Nightwing knew who he was out of the mask and they acted like they went way back. Who’s to say that it wouldn’t be the same with the other vigilantes?

She felt kind of dumb for thinking she knew him better after only going on silly dates for a few weeks. She knew nothing. Who was she, compared to these people? He probably had to hide so much from himself. Did she really know the real Jason?

“If you are so sure he would kill you if he sees you here, why risk it?” Jazz decided to ignore her insecurities and started working on the stitches, her body remembering the practice in med school. They weren’t the best but they would hold just fine.

“Because he likes you.”

She stopped again, looking up at him. “What.”

“If he comes to kill me I’ll just hide behind you.”

Honestly Jazz wasn’t sure if he was joking or not. Again, she wondered if the bats assumed she already knew about Jason’s identity, because there was no way in Hell that Red Robin could say that otherwise.

“I don’t think I could take Red Hood in a fight.” She tried to laugh and act neutral, just in case.

“He wouldn’t fight you anyway, because he likes you.” The other smiled as if she wasn’t finishing stitching the first gash close and starting with the second one.

Was this conversation meant to distract him? She wasn’t used to anesthetic (halfa/liminal metabolism) so she forgot to apply it, not that he asked.

“What makes you think he likes me?” Her cheeks went red against her will. She still couldn’t believe he wanted to date her.

“He- uhhhhhhhhhh, he has a soft spot for redheads?”

Even if she didn’t know the truth, that was the least believable lie in the world. “Uh-huh.”

Red Robin chuckled. He still looked pale, but a bit better than when he knocked on her window.

“What the actual fuck?”

Of course, this is when the man decided to make an appearance. Jazz turned from where she was finishing up the last stitches, finding the imposing figure of her boyfriend in full suit jumping into her apartment from the window.

This was the first time she saw him in the suit since she knew (and since they started dating), and it was difficult to not make comparisons between the Jason she was used to and this dangerous man standing in front of her.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

It took a moment to realize he wasn’t talking to her. Also, he had started walking menancingly towards them, murder intent in every step.

“Stop!” She called before anything went down. There was silence as she finished the last two stitches and cut the thread. She stood up. “Okay, I’m done.”

Somehow she got the feeling Jason was looking between Red Robin and her standing between the man’s open legs. Jazz rolled her eyes. She needed to be close to properly do her job. If he was going to start shit because she was near another guy, Jazz was going to resort to violence.

“I needed medical help.” The seated vigilante lifted his hands, but from this close Jazz could see he was really nervous. Did Jason really try to kill him?

“Why didn’t you go back to your little boyfriend?” Red Hood stepped closer, using his height to look more menacing. “Or even better, why not run back to the Cave to be pampered and wrapped in warm blankets?” The sarcasm was obvious even with the modulator.

“She was closer.”

This was the wrong thing to say, because Hood stomped closer and a hand twitched over one of his guns.

“You have no right-”

“Okay, let’s stop,” Jazz had tried to be impartial since, you know, she was supposed to be an innocent civilian. But she really didn’t want this to escalate. She walked around Red Robin, gauze and tape in hand. “Hood, please, step back while I finish with my patient.”

He hesitated for a moment but did as she asked.

“Told you I could use you as a shield.” The injured vigilante whispered with a little smile.

“I would like to not be ‘used’ at all, thank you very much,” she frowned at him. He didn’t make any other comment as she placed the gauze and secured it with tape.

Tension could be cut with a knife inside her apartment. This was so different from the situation with Nightwing. Has she got it wrong? Were they not friends? They knew each other, that was for sure, but the hostility was over the roof.

“He just needed help, Hood. I am morally obligated to help, I made an oath.”

It was so annoying that she couldn’t read his face with the helmet in the way.

“Okay. But he has to go. This is my territory and he shouldn’t be here.”

“And this is my apartment and I say when someone goes away.” She narrowed her eyes at him.

“Are you threatening to kick me out?” Jason sounded hurt, even with the modulator.

Jazz let out a breath, relaxing her shoulders on purpose to look less threatening. “No,” he relaxed a little as well. “I’m saying that my place is neutral ground until we all learn to behave.”

She heard Red Robin quietly start zipping up his suit again, as if he didn’t want to make them remember he was watching everything go down.

“He is here to spy on you, how can you be so calm about it?”

Spy? What the heck?

“I am not-”

“Even if he had bad intentions I can’t turn away an injured person.” She walked closer, watching how his body was still tense even if it was just her. He was still glaring at Red Robin, she could gather that much from the angle of his head. “Why are you here, anyway? Are you hurt as well?”

Finally, he looked at her. “No.” His shoulders relaxed as he pondered what to say next. “I just wanted to see you.”

Jazz fought hard to control the warmth blooming in her chest, and maintain the serious expression on her face, knowing some of it was ruined by the fact her cheeks felt warm.

“As you can see I’m-” she started to say, touched that he took time to check on her after the Arkham incident.

“Hood is hurt!” Both turned to look at the other vigilante, now completely geared up and ready to go. “Was thrown into a building or something. Thank for this, I owe you one, bye~”

He made a run for the window, but she caught him just as he passed by her. Jazz saw the moment she used a bit too much strength because Red Robin glanced at her hand on his arm with raised eyebrows.

Damn it. She tried so hard to not be suspicious.

“You. Be careful and don’t rip the stitches,” she almost heard the eyeroll coming from him. “Go back to the Cave or wherever you guys go when not punching people and get some rest.”

He smirked, but sobered up when his eyes wandered to Hood, who leaned into his line of sight just to be menacing.

“Yes, ma’am.” He did a salute and jumped out of the window. She gave him ten minutes before he ripped a stitch. But fortunately she wasn’t going to deal with that.

“You weren’t kidding about scoundrels coming in through the windows at night.”

“I told you to get a lock for the window. Red Robin-”

“Oh, I was talking about you,” she turned, finding him closer than expected. She had to look up to see him in the eye visor. “Red Robin at least knows how to knock.”

“Do I look like a scoundrel to you?”

She giggled, really wanting to take the helmet off and kiss him right there and then. Damn secret identities. Damn vigilantes and damn her for getting involved in this.

“Are you really okay?” she asked, extending one hand to place it on the side of the red helmet, hoping he understood she wanted to touch his face instead.

“I’ll be fine. Just need to sleep it off.”

“Then go.”

He hummed at her order, the mechanical modulator making it sound almost like a purr. She thought it was cute.

“I don’t want to go,” Jason said, putting one gloved hand over hers. Did he know his gloves had blood on them? She decided to ignore it for the moment, confident that the blood wasn’t his.

“You could stay here, I have a big couch.”

He chuckled at the idea. “I could.” He hummed again. “But how can I be sure that you won’t try to take off the helmet and find out my secret identity?”

Oh. Was he testing the waters?

“You can’t know that for sure, you’d only have my word that I wouldn’t try.”

“Is your word enough, I wonder?”

Was this it? Was he going to say it? “What are you asking, if I would keep your identity a secret?”

“What if I am?” Those were the same words he said when he asked her out. Did he say it on purpose? Was he trying to leave hints so she’d figure it out on her own? Was she supposed to approach him about it and not the other way around?

She looked directly into the eyes of the helmet, trying to send home the message that she was trustworthy. “I’d take the secret to my grave.”

He found this funny, but didn’t say anything. Seconds ticked by as she waited for him to, well, say it, but he kept silent. Waiting. For what? For her to confess first?

And just like that, the moment was gone.

He tensed and put his other hand on that side of the helmet, listening to something - Batman? Were they talking now? She heard a voice coming from inside the helmet but couldn’t discern if it was male or female, or what it was saying.

“I have to go,” he sighed, confirming her fears. The night was not over and the escaped inmates were still roaming through the city.

She had the fleeting thought of helping, if only so he could rest now.

But she wasn’t a hero, and he knew what he was doing.

“See you around, scoundrel.”

“See you.” He chuckled before stepping out of the opened window. “Get that window lock soon.”

“Sure thing.”

He stopped and looked back at her, as if he knew she was just humoring him. “Please, darling.”

She blushed. “Ok.”

Jazz was left in a quiet apartment, the sounds of the chaotic city coming from the opened window. Her kitchen table was a mess and her floor had a few puddles of Red Robin’s blood she needed to clean soon. She looked at her bloodied hand where Jason had gently placed his hands on hers.

She rolled her eyes. This was her life now, huh.

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#danny phantom #batman dc #danny phantom fanfiction #jazz fenton #jasmine fenton #jason todd #jazz x jason #anger management ship #jazz/jason #dp x dc #dc x dp #batpham #friendly neighborhood vigilante #neighbors au #dpxdc

[eddie-van-munson]

HII!! Just sending another request, i loved the xie lian one, I hope I didn’t spell his name wrong💀, im wayyy to obsessed with crossovers, and I also had a hard time choosing a character so I decided to chose this one, but anyways I’ll get started and the information about him is ok the wiki and more but let me get started (:

Can you do Eddie Munson With a S/O who has a Cutthroat personality from akudama drive?? thank you and have a good day (:

Warnings: Demo-bats, Mentions of Blood, Series Typical Violence, References to Chrissy's Death, Cursing

(I will get a "Read More" cut on this ASAP. I'm done with work for this week so I'll have more time to tackle my inbox! Requests are OPEN.)

***********

(Cutthroat: Child-Like, Pretty, Loyal, Volatile, Innocent Façade, Vengeful, Violent in the Protection of Friends.)

-So, again, I know NOTHING about Akudama Drive or what it is, but I did an itty bitty bit of research bc it was requested and I tried my best to incorporate it :^)

-Ok! So Eddie never knew you before all of the shit with Chrissy went down. I mean, he's seen you around school, and he's always been intrigued...

-You just moved to Hawkins at the start of the year and you are something else. You are tooth-rottingly sweet.

-You're soft and giggly and you're always wearing all of these gentle baby blues and pinks. Always smiling so big.

-Of course, Eds is not much of a pastel guy, but he has admit that they look very pretty on you

-Or maybe you're just pretty and the colors have shit all to do with it

-Every time Eddie passes you in the hall he can hear you humming along to some little tune in your head.

-Ridiculously endearing, really. It should be illegal.

- Anyways

-He's hiding in the woods, curled up on the ground beside Skull Rock when he hears someone say his name softly. His eyes flutter open to find you kneeling over him, and he definitely thinks he's dreaming.

-But then you turn over your shoulder and call out, "I found him!"

-He panics for a second, a pang of betrayal in his chest. Oh god, he thinks. You're in the search party.

-He sits up too quickly and shuffles backwards, ignoring the surprised look on your face.

-But then he sees Dustin running up through the woods and he immediately breathes a sigh of relief, his hands shaking with left over adrenaline.

-Turns out you're Harrington's little cousin.

-Which Eddie finds very hard to believe

-You'd been at the Family Video when the "Purchase History Database Search" began and you'd insisted you wanted to help look

-Steve tried to put his foot down but you were not having it. "You haven't seen her when she gets angry man." He argues, defensively. "She hulks out."

-Which Eddie finds even harder to believe.

-Some part of him is so relieved to see you, though. He's been living with the mental image of Chrissy's mangled body for days, and the sight of someone sweet and happy...someone who's gentle...it takes a massive weight off of his chest.

-It's such a stark contrast to what's been living in his brain.

-You're unofficially roped in after that.

-A few times you bring Eddie groceries and sit on the old, stained couch with him for a while and talk.

-Your voice is quiet and you make him laugh. Those short conversations are literally the best thing he's got, right now.

-Your grocery selection always makes him giggle. Cereal, Canned Soup, Crackers...Jumbo size bag of marshmallows??

-It becomes increasingly clear to him you have a sweet tooth.

-Sometimes you even draw him funny little pictures and notes and leave them in the bag. Other times you send him old, familiar chapter books from Elementary School.

-You seemed to have been fond of Nancy Drew and Little House on the Prairie.

-He's surprised how much he enjoys them.  And he likes seeing your name written on the inside cover.

-He begs you to stay behind when the others row out to look for Watergate.

-He argues with you about it for a while.

-"I don't want you going down there. You don't get what this shit is like. It'll fucking scar you for life."

-"Eddie, I'm coming with you."

- You're getting frustrated and finally Steve chimes in again, "I'm telling you, man. Don't make her mad."

-He can see from the look on Harrington's face he's not going to be able to change your mind. He sighs, "Fine. Whatever. Get in the boat. It's your funeral."

-You grin so brightly that Eddie's heart aches.

-As soon as Steve dives down, you're pulling off your Cardigan. Eddie's blood runs cold "No no no no no-"

-He grabs at you, but you're in the water before he can stop you.

-"Fuck! You little shit!!"

-Robin just cackles at him.

- By the time Eddie gets through the gate, he can only see flashes of you and Nancy through the swarm of bats.

-He panics, screaming your name as he sprints towards you.

-The closer he gets, though, the more he realizes that you are, in fact, not the ones getting ambushed.

-The bats are.

-Jesus, you are ruthless. Yanking bats off of Steve's chest by their shriveled wings. Crushing them beneath your heels. Yelling as you grab them out of the air and throw them to the ground.

-Nancy is killing it too, like, shit.

-He's finally able to get to you when the swarm thins, joining in the attack until the very last bat is smashed. Nancy runs to Steve, and Eddie holds a hand out to you where you've fallen, helping you up.

-Your clothes are spattered with thick, nasty blood and sludge. All the way down to your perfect saddle shoes. You wrinkle your nose a little, checking your knees where you'd scraped them, and Eddie smiles.

-"Holy shit. That was crazy! You're, like, a fucking warrior goddess or something! I should have been trying to get you to protect me!"

-You giggle, blushing. "You were trying to protect me?"

-He goes BEET red, sputtering and scratching his neck. "Well...I uh...it's just that..."

-You grin knowingly

-Eddie's heart thuds and his voice cracks as he  quickly changes the subject. "I'm sorry about your clothes."

-You shrug, "They'll wash, I suppose." Your attention catches on one of the splatters on your arm. You try and wipe it, but it smears. "It's kind of a pretty color, anyway."

-You blush at the look on Eddie's face, some odd combination of awe and disbelief, and run off to join Nancy.

***********

#eddie munson #eddie the freak munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things imagines #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #eddie imagine #eddie imagines #eddie x reader #eddie x you #stranger things x you #stranger things x reader #eddie munsen x reader #eddie munsen imagine #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munsen

[crockettmarcel]

I wish you would write a fic where Sarah and Ava actually hate each other and Connor is stuck in the middle <3

sorry that this took me almost two years to write lol. better late than never though right? wc: 1076

“Connor, how many psychiatrists work at this hospital?” Ava asks, appearing out of nowhere next to him at his computer.

“I’m not sure,” he says, turning to look up at her. “Maybe ten? Give or take.”

“Uh-huh.” She nods, then pulls out the chair next to his and sits down. “So, more than one, you’d say?”

“That’s usually what ten means, yeah. Why, what’s going on?”

“Oh, I’m just wondering why, if we have so many different psychiatrists here, you’d page Dr Reese to consult on our patient. Surely there was someone else, perhaps with more experience, that would have been able to assess competency?”

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Honestly, Ava, I had no idea she’d be the one doing it. I asked Maggie to page psych and I guess she chose Sarah. Not my fault.”

She glares at him, then for added emphasis, crosses her arms against her chest. “Have you considered using your brain for once? Next time, tell her to page anyone but Dr Reese, okay? It’s not that hard to remember.”

“Yes ma’am.” He salutes her, earning himself an even fiercer look, and he’s certain that if he pushes her any further, she’ll burst a blood vessel. Or into flames. “What’s the big deal, anyway? You don’t have to be there while she does her assessment.”

“I know that, Connor. I’m not a complete idiot.” As soon as Sarah had appeared in the doorway of the treatment room, tablet in hand and that stupid sickly-sweet, over-sympathetic smile on her face, Ava had excused herself and spent the next fifteen minutes staring daggers at the room from the nurses’ station. “But she had to tell someone the results of her assessment, and since you’d fucked off up here to do God-knows-what, I got that privilege.”

“Okay, well I’m sorry about that, Ava. I’ll stick around next time so you don’t need to speak to her.”

“My knight in shining armour, thank you.” She grins at him, and suddenly that murderous look in her eyes from thirty seconds ago has disappeared. Connor can’t imagine the death stares she must have given Sarah, and he’s glad he wasn’t around for the immediate aftermath of their interaction. At least the couple of minutes in the elevator on the way up from the ED gave Ava a chance to calm down slightly.

He wonders if he should go and check on Sarah.

“You know, if you told me what this whole feud was about—”

She cuts him off almost instantly. “Not a chance in hell, Connor. Absolutely not.” With that, the murderous look is back, and it’s the last thing Connor sees before Ava stands up and storms off.

They have a valve repair together in the afternoon, and he hopes that she’ll have done something — most likely shout at a med student or drink a gallon of her “super cool” black coffee — to calm herself down by then. If not, he’ll have to start praying.

—————————————————

He spots Sarah an hour later in the cafeteria. As grateful as he is to see that she’s alive and unharmed after her time with Ava, he’s in no rush to make small talk in between mouthfuls of lunch; she has that same pissed-off look in her as Ava did, and he’s not in the mood to hear about why. (He’s sure he already knows.)

He does his best to avoid eye contact with her, keeping his head down as he shoves his slightly disappointing chicken sandwich into his mouth, but Sarah notices him anyway. A chair scrapes against the floor, and when he puts his sandwich down for a moment and looks up, Sarah’s sitting opposite him, setting out her fruit cup and bread roll on the table.

“Hey, Sarah.” He’s not entirely sure what he can say without upsetting her further, so he waits until she’s stopped staring at him to speak again. “That, uh, that fruit looks good. What is that, cantaloupe?”

“You know,” she says, ignoring his attempt to start a conversation, “I liked working here a lot more before Dr Bekker arrived.”

There’s nothing he can do to stop this from happening, so he just raises an eyebrow and takes a sip of his coffee. “Is that so?”

“Oh, come on, Connor. Don’t act like your life wasn’t easier before she got here. We’ve all heard the way you two fight. You’re lucky you’re an excellent surgeon, because otherwise…” She lets her voice trail off, but the face she pulls is enough for Connor to know exactly what she means.

If he wasn’t such a good surgeon, he’d have been fired for his conduct.

“Look, I get that she can be difficult, but—”

Sarah scoffs. “She’s an absolute nightmare.”

He frowns. “What is going on with you two? She’s walking around looking like she wants to kill someone, and you’re like…” he gestures loosely at her, “...this. Can’t you just, I don’t know, talk it out?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” 

She leans back in her chair and folds her arms, and Connor can’t get over how uncannily similar her movements are to Ava’s. Telling her would be a death sentence though, and he’s not that stupid, so he lets the thought go. Instead, he takes a moment to observe Sarah's defiant posture, her arms tightly crossed, and the determined look in her eyes. It's clear that whatever this is, it goes far beyond over-competitiveness or a disagreement about patient care. There’s something else entirely.

“And I take it you don’t want to tell me what the problem is?”

She sighs. “I got assigned to your patient today, and Ava was a complete bitch about it.”

“Yeah, I heard about that. I meant in general though. Do you want to tell me about what happened in the first place between you two?”

“I do not.” She rips a chunk off her bread roll, then breaks it up into smaller and smaller pieces until she’s left with nothing more than crumbs. Connor watches as she does it two, three more times, and it’s only when there’s less than half of the roll left that she speaks again. “I don’t know. Maybe. Not now, though.”

“Well, I’m here if you ever want to chat. And I promise I won’t tell Ava what you told me.”

Sarah smirks. “Good luck keeping a secret from her. She’ll figure it out, especially if it's about me.”

#chicago med #writing #sarah reese #ava bekker #connor rhodes

[bringinghometherain]

Comfortember Day 6: Exhaustion

lmao I don’t know what I’m doing. I think this fits? Guess someone will tell me if it doesn’t.

1300-ish words, Our Flag Means Death, Izzy Hands x Female OC (Charlie from my Ao3 fic, but this was meant to work as a standalone). Rated M I guess? Sex is mentioned but none happens. We’re just here for fluff.

Many days at sea were long days, but this had been one of the longer ones. The crew of the Revenge had been up early, getting the ship docked and moving heavy barrels of sugar out of the hold and down the gangplank to be sold. They had taken advantage of the temporarily empty hold to clean and retar the boards down in the dark, a nasty job that left everyone’s shoulders and backs aching. By the time that was done new food and supplies and large, heavy barrels of water needed to be loaded back into the hold, and several heavy crates of books that Captain Bonnet had picked up in town needed to be carried up into the captains’ cabin. 

Because the weather was amenable and the harbormaster was suspicious, the Revenge left port as quickly as it had come in, which meant anchors, sails, lines all needed attending to. By the time the Revenge was back out on the open sea Charlie wasn’t sure she had the energy to descend from the rigging. She debated sleeping on the mizzen top, but Roach had brought dinner up to the main deck and whatever it was, it smelled divine. Hunger overpowered exhaustion long enough for her to lower herself slowly down to the deck. 

The captains were eating with the crew tonight, Stede Bonnet reminding everyone to drink enough water (“hydration is vital, everyone!”) and talking excitedly about the books he’d bought. Ed was listening and nodding along, thank god, because the rest of the crew was silent as the grave, hunched over their food, focused on finishing it before they fell asleep sitting up. The Swede did at least once that Charlie noticed, his face nearly connecting with his plate before he jerked awake and looked around to remember where he was. Charlie might have laughed and poked fun at him, but she was too tired even to do that. 

When she was finished eating she scootched over to a large coil of rope, still within hearing distance for Captain’s story time, reclined against it, and lowered her hat over her eyes to block out the lamplight. She was still being teased for the black felt hat she’d picked up on their last shore leave, told she looked like some sort of junior highway bandit, or junior storybook villain, or junior apprentice clergy, but Charlie was quite sure she looked cool, especially with the brim pulled down over her eyes like Jim did sometimes. She crossed her arms over her chest to add to the Cool Jim aesthetic and was asleep against the coiled rope within minutes. 

She woke with a start to the prod of a boot on her thigh, snatching her hat up to see the main deck of the Revenge empty, and First Mate Hands standing over her. She squinted up at him for a moment, then returned to her reclined position against the rope, pulled her hat back down over her eyes, and said “No.”

“I’m not here for that,” Izzy said, “It’s going to rain tonight, you can’t sleep on deck.”

“M’fine,” Charlie mumbled. She felt Izzy crouch down next to her and rest a hand on her thigh. I guess we’re really alone, she thought, if he’s doing that. They hadn’t been involved for very long, or very consistently, but each of them made it very clear to the other that the rest of the crew finding out about their involvement was not an option. 

“Come on,” he said quietly, “Get up.” His tone was gentler than it had been all day, as he had put the crew through nothing short of hard labor so they could get in and out of port quickly. Charlie knew he’d just been doing his job today, but she was still half-asleep, every muscle in her body was sore, and after the day they’d had she was not feeling particularly friendly towards the first mate. 

“Mr. Hands,” she said from under the brim of her hat, “I was sleeping, I was sleeping so well, until you woke me up just now, and I am so sore after today and I was sleeping so well right here. I don’t care if it’s going to rain, if nothing else it will wash the sweat and tar off of me, and in eight to ten hours I will be happy to move from this spot.”

Izzy said nothing, and she wondered if he would leave her alone. Alas, he grabbed the brim of her hat and pulled it up so he could see her face. She glared at him.

“This is a stupid hat,” he said, still holding the brim up. 

“This is a very cool hat,” Charlie countered, yanking it out of his grasp and back down onto her face. She felt arms wrap around her back and under her knees and groaned in protest as Izzy lifted her up off the deck. Rule #48 on the Revenge was “do not pick Charlie up without her explicit permission,” after a late night of drinking games and shenanigans had ended with several superficial stab wounds amongst the crew. 

She quoted this rule to Izzy now, though she didn’t think it would do much good. “I can always drop you off the side of the ship, if you’d prefer,” he offered, and she could hear the smirk in his voice. 

“That’s how Lucius died, Izzy. You can’t joke about that.”

“Lucius isn’t dead, you dolt,” Izzy retorted. She could tell he wasn’t heading to the rail anyway, based on what she could see from under the brim of her very cool hat. 

“If I wasn’t so tired I’d have escaped your grasp by now,” she said, changing the subject. “You’re lucky I can barely move, Hands.” 

Izzy chuckled and she felt them start to descend the narrow staircase to the gun deck. “You’re lucky you haven’t escaped,” he murmured into her ear, “Because now you get to sleep in a real bed.”

Charlie paused to process that statement for a moment, her brain turning the words over a few times. “I don’t have it in me for sex tonight, Iz,” she reminded him blearily. 

“I know that,” he said, “But I can’t very well carry you into the middle of the crew’s quarters like this and dump you into your hammock, now can I?” 

The hypothetical alone sent a bolt of anxiety through Charlie’s chest. “Fair enough,” she said as casually as she could muster, “Guess I get a real mattress tonight.” 

Izzy grunted affirmation and stopped outside his cabin door. He lowered Charlie to the ground feet-first and rolled his shoulders after the effort of hauling her below deck. She squinted blearily around to make sure no one was witnessing this whole…whatever this was, then followed him inside. She managed to strip her boots and coat off and collapsed into his straw mattress, next to the wall as was her customary spot. The hat remained on her head, over her eyes, until a hand from above removed it to her weak protest. 

“I’m going to throw this hat overboard,” Izzy muttered as he hung it next to her coat. 

“I’ll kill you,” Charlie threatened, eyes closed, one hand grasping to pull the worn blanket over herself. 

“It’d be worth it to get you to stop wearing it,” he said, sitting down to remove his own boots and outerclothes. She felt him crawl into bed next to her and grumbled at him as he rearranged the blanket to cover himself and not just Charlie. “Oh, hush, Jesus Christ you’re a nuisance.” 

Charlie grumbled some more vague threats as he wrapped a strong arm around her and pulled her close. Sleep overtook her before she could hear Izzy Hands’ reply. 

It did not rain that night.

#ofmd #ofmd fanfiction #izzy hands x female OC #izzy hands x reader #okay it's not strictly izzy hands x reader but I think it's within the SPIRIT of that #yes this is a self-insert OC #bite me #comfortember #comfortember 2022 #our flag means death

[fighterkimburgess]

Screams

Summary: Violet attends what should be a routine call and her life is forever changed.

Warnings: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, angst. Lots of angst. Hospitals, vomiting.

Words: 1.2k

—

Screaming.

It’s not an unusual sound to hear at a call - unpleasant, but not unusual. People in pain. People who’ve seen disaster. People who have just lost something precious.

This scream is different, it’s wrenching the air. Violet can’t tell where it’s coming from, can’t tell what direction it’s in. But there’s arms around her and the pressure against her chest means she can focus.

It’s coming from her.

“EVAN! Evan please I CAN SAVE HIM I CAN HELP HIM PLEASE!”

She watches as someone holds her back against her fighting, as her lover - his body - is pulled from the concrete tangle. His eyes are open and fixed. She knows. She knows.

But it’s Evan and she can’t let him go, she can’t lose him. Not like this. They were supposed to get their happy ending.

“EVAN!” It’s a final yell until she sees his limp hand slide off the makeshift backboard, the fingers she loves so dearly slack and unclenched.

No. No. He can’t.

She slumps to the ground, pulling whoever is behind her down with her. She knows now what nobody is saying, that everyone is staring at her but she can’t bear this. First she thought that Gallo was hurt and that was bad but now Evan is gone and it’s a cliche that it’s his final day on the job because next week he starts in his new district.

And now he won’t.

“Evan…” it’s a breath and then the pain returns to her chest. She pulls out of the arms that had loosened and turns, desperately wishing for space and privacy as she wretches up bile and the remnants of lunch. Their last lunch.

“Violet…” it’s Boden who speaks and when she turns his face is filled with anguish, matching her own. How is she supposed to continue?

“82 brought him to Med like protocol. There’s another chief here, I’m bringing you to the hospital. Brett’s coming in 61.”

He wouldn’t take no for an answer if she tried so she let herself be swept away by the imposing man, ignoring the calls from her house as they went past. She couldn’t take it. She couldn’t look at them.

The drive is silent to Med, just the beep of their duty radios to break the silence. Every few moments someone asks about an update on the Pickwick fire, but they’re keeping the details off the air so far. Derek Hawkins is a paramedic chief too. Someone will need to tell him. She has his number, she can call. But saying the words out loud will kill her and she can’t.

The drive feels shorter than normal and she’s numb getting out and walking into the ED. Boden’s arm is around her, Sylvie running up and another arm wraps around her shoulder to keep Violet steady. Her feet don’t want to walk her anywhere, don’t want her to go to the hospital room that’s about to break her heart open again.

It’s funny in a way that it’s Ethan Choi who sees them and walks out. He took the first patient she’d ever brought to Med as a green paramedic, a teenager who’d fallen off a moped. He’d asked Violet that afternoon how Evan was. And now this.

“Violet…” he trails off and she knows. She’s done it before

“He’s gone, isn’t he?”

“He came in with a GCS of three, pupils unreactive and one of them was blown. I’m sorry.”

Her Chief and her best friend hold her up because the grief is all consuming, all feeling. She’d had Evan Hawkins for not even a year but they’d had each other’s hearts and now he’s gone. Left with a broken body and she’s alone.

“I have to call…”

“Mouch knows his dad. He’s calling. 51 is on the way here.”

They help her to the waiting room, soot covered clothing ignored as she sits on the cold chair.

Evan is dead.

The man she loves. The man she had kissed just hours before. Who loves her and cares for her and makes her feel like her quirks are beautiful. He’s dead. He’s gone.

The room fills with members from 51 quickly. First Truck, Gallo squeezing her shoulder and Carver nodding before Mouch and Stella pull her up into hugs. It’s fortifying and horrifying in a way.

Engine was next and Darren clings to her, holding her and rubbing her back. The hugs continue from everyone else, Squad arriving to continue the train of them. She’s never received one from any of them, gave one to Severide briefly at his wedding, but the one from he and Cruz last the longest. The Lieutenant leans down to her ear where only she can hear.

“It wasn’t romantic, but I’ve gone through this too. I know exactly how it feels to watch someone you love die in front of you. And when you’re ready, I’m here.”

It was a watery smile between them as he pulls away, a nod between two of the members of this wretched club. She knew the history of 51, had seen the memorial to Otis, rode in the ambulance that Leslie Shay had been in. But the offer of help is what surprises her more.

It’s quiet as they wait for Evan’s parents to arrive so the call can go out. They will not leave until it’s announced over the radio that CFD’s ranks of angels gains a new member tonight and the memory of it makes her sick. First through the door is DC Hill, coming straight to Violet and asking how she is. She isn’t able to speak but the Deputy Chief just nods, taking her hand.

“He loves you. Don’t forget it.”

“I won’t,” Violet chokes out, the words a vow on her lips.

Finally Derek and Monica arrive to the hospital, faces pale and drawn. They search the seated uniformed members for a few moments until their eyes rest on Violet, coming straight to her and wrapping her in a hug. She’d met them all of a month before, having dinner and laughing at Evan’s baby photos. They approve of her, think she’s capable and welcoming, want to get to know her better. Her parents had liked him too.

“Violet, tell me it isn’t…” when Monica sees her face she knows it’s true, the older woman breaking down in tears. Sylvie moves to let the two women sit beside each other, wrapped in their own grief. This pain is so much for her, but the grief of losing your child has to be worse. But when Ethan walks in to deliver the news fully, when Violet hears Boden pull out his radio to confirm the fire at the Pickwick Theatre has had one fatality - Paramedic Chief Evan Hawkins - the tears come even harder. Violet sobs for Evan, for their life, for the plans they have that will never happen. For the half baked talk of potential marriage and how neither had ever thought about it but now it’s something they want. Not yet, their still newly rekindled relationship is too fragile. But they work towards it because they want it to work out.

And he’s gone.

Evan Hawkins is dead, and Violet Mikami has never known pain like this before.

#Violet Mikami #Chicago fire spoilers #Chicago fire fic

[gottagobackintime]

I’ve been thinking a lot about why Stede went back back to his family without telling Ed and how he acts when he’s back.

I want to start with way he speaks to Mary, especially when he finds out that she’s sleeping with Doug (which he also finds out after having to hear his son say that he thought Doug is their dad. Which I don’t believe, I 100% believe that Stede is their biological dad.) 

He’s upset, which isn’t fair considering he kissed someone else the other day. And I’m not saying he’s justified, because again, he ran away, kissed someone else and then decided to come back as if nothing had changed. But I think it’s interesting to watch. He has run from Ed after they kissed, after Ed said that Stede makes him happy, after Stede said the same thing back, after agreeing to start a new life in China together. And he gave that up, because he’s been dealing with this guilt for a long time, the guilt of leaving his family when he should have taken care of them. But what really pushed him over the edge was Chauncey’s words and death. Hearing someone saying that he’s not human, that he defiles beautiful things, that he’s a monster. And he agrees with all of that. And he thinks about his family that he left behind, how he’s the reason the amazing pirate Blackbeard has to serve the king for 10 years, he even managed to “trick” him into falling in love with him. 

And then he returns to his family because that’s what he thinks is best for all of them, except himself. He’s making that sacrifice, he’s making what he thinks is a selfless decision. He puts his family and Ed before himself, he knows he won’t be happy to go back to his family, because he felt “discomfort in a married state” but he has to do it for his family, and for Ed. He leaves Ed so that he can go back to being a pirate, like he was before Stede “ruined” him. And it might seem stupid of him to think that that’s what’s better for Ed, after Ed has said that spending time with Stede have been the most fun he’s had in perhaps forever. But it’s still Chauncey’s words and his own past that wins. Because he’s been told his whole life that he’s not good enough, he’s never been wanted for who he is, because who he is isn’t good enough. His dad wanted him to be different, his peers wanted him to be different, his wife wanted him to be different and his crew wants him to be different, at least in the beginning. So surely that means they are all right, he’s not good enough when he’s being himself. But what about Ed? Ed likes Stede just the way he is. But that’s just one person. One person to try and drown out the voices of his past (and present) telling him he’s not good enough. So he must have done something bad, he made Ed fall in love with him and that’s a bad thing because Stede “defiles beautiful things”. (None of this is true of course, but Stede is not in a place where he can realise that. Until he’s had his talk with Mary.)

And so he goes back to his family and he tries to go back to the way it was. But now he actually knows what he’s missing out on. But he made that sacrifice for his family and for Ed and he knows he has to live with that. But then Mary doesn’t make the same sacrifice (which she shouldn’t have to do). She wants the life she built after Stede left, she doesn’t care about what he gave up to come back. She keeps on doing what she’s been doing when he was gone. She even continues to sleep with Doug. And that makes Stede upset. Because if he gave up the person who made him happy, surely she should do the same. He’s back to being unhappy in a married state and he has no one by his side, while Mary has her group of widows and Doug. And while she’s unhappy about Stede being back, it’s still clear that she enjoys her life, that she’s happy. But Stede is not. Stede is miserable.

One of my favourite scenes are when he’s been drinking and he interrupts her art show and calls her out for calling herself “the widow Bonnet” when he is in fact not dead. He’s being an asshole and she has a right to be angry at him for that. But it breaks my heart every time I watch it. Because even if he doesn’t technically realise that he’s in love with Ed until that night, when he’s talking to Mary. Those feelings are still there. I mean he even talks to Ed when he’s sitting alone having dinner. So he’s been drinking too much (and he’s been reminded of Ed, and those little lines about him to the other men at the pub say a lot. He starts off by saying that Ed is lovely and he’s smiling but he doesn’t get a positive respons so he stops smiling and says that he’s fearsome ofc but that he doesn’t like to talk about him. Because that’s not his Ed, he does think that Ed is lovely but no one wants to hear that. And he’s once again reminded of what he left behind to do the “right thing”) and he has all of these feelings, towards his decision, his wife and Ed. And it comes out in that scene. It’s the fact that it hurts him that he gave everything up to come back to her and she doesn’t acknowledge it (again, he’s the one who fucked up from the very beginning, and she shouldn’t have to change her life on a whim, as she says). He has struggled with his decision since the moment he left his family. And he’s hurt and traumatised and he has no one to talk to, he’s alone with his feelings and his sacrifice. And in a way I think he wants Mary to join him in his misery. 

Something that I also love, that takes place a little earlier. Is when she says that thing about him deciding to “unabandon” his family on a whim. And the only thing in her little rant he objects to is that he chose to go back on a whim. I think that that line says a lot about where his thoughts have been the whole series up until that point. And I also think it ties nicely into the scene where Ed asks him to go to China with him. Because it’s not just them going to China. Ed wants them to throw away their old lives, pretending it never existed. But Stede already did that but it didn’t help, he got to fulfil his dream of being a pirate, but it didn’t make him truly happy. Because he was running away from something. And then Ed asks him to run even further away. And not only that, he does it right after they’ve kissed for the first time. 

In the space of like a day, maybe two. They went from Ed leaving Stede to go with Calico Jack, to them being surrounded by the British, Ed climbing back on board telling them to surrender, “You came back? Never left”, the foot touch, Ed taking the blame for killing Badminton, Stede not wanting Ed to take the blame and so he puts himself in harms way, Stede is sentenced to death, Ed is saved by Izzy, Ed shouting “act of grace” to save Stede, Ed signing up for ten years of service to the king for Stede, Ed willingly getting rid of his beard, Ed confessing that Stede has made his life happier, they kiss, Stede says that Ed makes Stede happy, Ed asks him to run away to China to start a new life with new identities with their old lives forgotten, Stede is hesitant but he agrees, Ed rushes off to set the plan in motion leaving a clearly emotional Stede behind, Stede is woken up by Chauncey pressing a gun to his head, he gets to hear how he’s a monster and that he defiles beautiful things and then Chauncey accidentally kills himself in front of Stede. Add that to all of the other trauma and guilt that is already there... I understand why he ran away. And why he didn’t talk to Ed before. He was overwhelmed. He didn’t even have time to properly reflect on his feelings for Ed. And I don’t blame Ed for being excited to start a life with the man he loves, but it clearly was too much too fast for Stede. 

And he carries that with him when he goes back to his family. Along with the guilt he feels for abandoning his family in the first place. But then he comes back, having made this huge sacrifice and no one cares that he was gone. In fact, they had a better life when he wasn’t there. I don’t think that he wanted Mary to be miserable when he went away, but I do think that it hurt him when he saw that she had a happy life without him, when he gave up everything he’d longed for to come back to her and be the husband he should have been from the beginning. 

I don’t know if any of this makes any sense, I just had to write this down. But to finish it off, I don’t blame Stede for running back to his family without telling Ed. Would it have been better if he had told Ed he wanted to check in on his family? Absolutely, and my heart breaks every time I think about Ed being heartbroken. And I do think that Stede needs to apologise and explain why he stood Ed up when they meet again. But I don’t blame him for it, and he needed to go back. I think he might also have needed to really see that him and Mary was never going to work. With the amount of guilt he felt and the trauma he’s been through I don’t think it would have worked with them just talking it through, with him telling Ed they would go to China, he just needed to go back home and “break up” with his wife first. I think he needed to be nearly killed by his wife to clear his head. 

#our flag means death #nicole watches stuff #I am once again rambling about tv shows I watch #I've been thinking about this for a long time #and as I said I have no idea if any of this makes any sense #but it is what it is

[taraljc]

This last week I threw on Stitchers to rewatch while I combed through bags of doll stuff, and there's one plot point that really bugs me that they never address from the season 1 finale. Spoilers for all three seasons and massive speculation regarding season 4 had it actually returned rather than been canceled by Disney below the read more cut!

Throughout the show it's implied that Kirsten's father Daniel is the one pulling the strings, however there's only one instance where we actually know her father killed someone and that's Mitchell Blair's son.

Everything else was done through Robert Barbiero, who had been tailing Kirsten all of season 1 and was killed by a woman who is implied to be Kirsten's mother. Yet we know from the same episode from the flash drive inside of the law book with the footage from 15 years prior that Jacqueline has been in a coma. Not just in a coma but the sleeping beauty that Ed's nighttime fairy tales alluded to that he left on the tape for Kirsten.

But the only person who could have shown up enough outside the restaurant and throw Barbiero for a complete loop before Fisher got shot, and the woman who left the message for Kirsten knowing that Kirsten would stitch into Barbiero had to have been Kirsten's mother. Who was supposedly in her little Project Grasshopper stasis pod, still comatose. But was she really? We never actually see her in the stasis pod until after Maggie moves her to flush out Stinger.

ETA: okay I double checked and triple checked and we only ever hear her voice over the telephone. we never actually hear her at the car. which means she may or may not have actually physically shown up outside the restaurant. But we also never find out who is physically in the alley with him who stabbed him. whoever was in the car was the one who ordered Barbiero to kill Fisher. or at least Barbiero referred to him doing his job, which may not mean he was a mark for hire but mean that he was brought in by Stinger specifically to protect Kirsten.

The only thing linking Stinger to Turner's murder was Kirsten getting the sense memory of the sandalwood aftershave. However judging from his beard, I am pretty sure Stinger has not been keeping up with his grooming or skin care regimen. Kirsten did originally think that the person who shot Les Turner was Maggie, but what if it was another woman and the sandalwood trigger was deliberately placed because the killer was completely aware of the Stitcher's program and every part of how it worked? including the fact that Fisher is investigating Ed Clark's death and refuses to let it go because he's like a dog with a bone.

But we never got much from the stitch into Ed even though his corpse was kept on ice by Turner, just that there was an argument over the killer putting Kirsten through so much and Ed trying to protect her and the gun went off accidentally.

We never found out who killed Ed or why except that it was the trigger to bring Kirsten in and read her into the program. It's implied that Turner killed Ed; Maggie asks him point blank but he avoids giving her a straight answer. But it can't be Turner, because Barbiero was supposed to kill Fisher to stop anyone looking into Ed's death. It had to have been Jacqueline or David Stinger. There's no-one else.

Turner knew his killer, and same as Barbiero, Kirsten wasn't able to see who actually killed him. The memory fragment where he talks about moving the asset; we have no idea when that happened. only that Kirsten and Cameron were able to track Turner's computer to the original Project Grasshopper lab where Turner had been present when Jacqueline's accident happened.

I think the entire reason we had the episode inside the autistic kid's mind where for Kirsten she lived three days but for everybody on the outside of the stitch it was only 3 seconds was to prep us for the idea that because of Jacqueline's evolved mind/the nanites/quantum entanglement she was able to communicate with Kirsten and convince her to pretend amnesia and that is who walks in and cast the shadow over Kirsten, and who Kirsten is furious with at the very end of the very last episode.

The more I think about it the more I'm convinced that Stinger is a patsy and Jacqueline is the one playing 3D chess with all of these people.

Whether she is been in and out of her pod, or if she is communicating via the nanites, and it was Denise Nichols who killed both Barbiero and Turner on Jacqueline's orders, she's the ultimate big bad.

I mean they have Daniel dead to rights for the murder of Nathan Blair, but there was no proof that he killed Liam, and we still don't know who killed Ed or Turner.

Because Kirsten's mother was communicating directly with Kirsten via the nanites during the stitches and due to the quantum entanglement, we can't trust anything from the stitch into either Turner or barbiero 100% because they may have been interfered with by Jacqueline.

Which means if she never left the pod, then Jacqueline has been aware and conscious via the nanites the entire time. and she has most likely been communicating to David using David Stinger's quantum computer which by the end of season 3 is still in the wind.

I really do think that had they made season 4 knowing it was their last, that they would have had Kirsten finally stitch into Ed. I also think that Camille moving in with Amanda would have meant either ivy moving in with Kirsten or Jacqueline but I can't imagine the NSA would let Jacqueline out of the lab. Mitchell Blair seemed to think the entire purpose of the program was not to revive her but just dissect her and study her. But if she's been pulling the strings via quantum entanglement the entire time, who knows what her actual endgame might be?

Speaking of endgame. I'm pretty sure Ivy would not have survived season 4 and probably stitching into her would have been the nail in the coffin for Jacqueline. I actually think that Linus and Camille would eventually get back together, although I have to admit I shipped Camille and Fisher quite a lot, even more than I shipped him with Maggie.

I also think that Maggie's son would have probably been assigned to the project after relocating stateside to recover from his injuries. which would have been really fun to explore, and to add another 20 something to the mix of characters. I know a lot of the critics of the show thought that the workplace romance detracted from the procedural but I think it's the other way around. The procedural is simply a scaffold upon which to hang the stories of these characters in their relationships, which are the entire heart and soul of the show.

and I think a big part of the message of the show is about found family versus blood relations. Kirsten built a family around herself through the program and Ivy is a part of that family not because she's her half-sister but because they bonded over the program. And in the end ivy betrayed her father for Kirsten and that's a big deal.

#Stitchers #Kirsten Clark #ABC Family kills all my faves #Season 4 speculation

[delikaitxx]

AHOY LADIES, GAYS, THEYS, GENTLEMEN! Grab your tissues. This one’s a doozy.

Chapter Nine: In The Air Tonight

Tw: huge fear of abandonment. Talks of losing someone. Anxiety. PTSD.

Midnight on March 22nd, 1986

It’s silent the moment Eddie says “Chrissy’s dead”. Tears fill up in his eyes and I don’t dare to let him go. He’s shaking as the lights flicker. I hold him tighter. “Shhh baby it’s okay. I’m here. I’m here.” I coo in his ear as he hyperventilates. “S-she… She was just standing there, frozen. Not moving. It was as if she was possessed. It felt like a horror movie. The lights would flicker frantically as I tried calling her. She wouldn’t reply. She couldn’t hear me. She was… so still. And then, she went onto my ceiling, as if something was pulling her.”

I rub his back as he tries to breathe but with the fresh trauma, he can’t. “Like, a force?” I ask softly. “Yeah… it almost felt… supernatural. I thought it was just a really bad trip. I was hoping for that. I was sober, I am sober. God, and then her bones started to snap. Like branches. It was… it was harrowing. That was when it was settling in that Chrissy was gone. God, I sound insane.” He says defeated putting his face in his hands. “Hey.” I grab his wrists. “Eddie, baby, you’re not insane.”

He looks at me with those sad doe eyes. This is a different version of Eddie, hell, it’s not even him at all. It was as if all of his innocence disappeared. I stroke his cheek softly and I’m just completely devastated. Chrissy’s gone and so was Eddie’s innocence. My heart is sinking for him. All of his light had faded. I need to find out what the hell happened. “Hey, let’s go to bed, yeah? I’m not going anywhere.” I try to get his messy curls out of his face, which is stained from the tears. “First, let’s wipe those tears and get you freshened up okay?” I led him to the bathroom by holding him closely.

The shaking seemed to stop as I set him down on the toilet seat. I grab a rag I had in the bathroom and wet it. I wrange it out and start patting Eddie’s face. His brown eyes are red and puffy from the crying. I examine his face more. The shock goes through my body just imagining what he’d witnessed. The boy is traumatized. What keeps going on in my mind is the manner of Chrissy’s death. What did he mean by it feeling “supernatural”? I mean, in recent years, I definitely can see that. For sure. Wait, could this have something to do with the Upside Down?

I start drying his face and I open the door to get him sweatpants and a t-shirt from my bag. “Roxie.” Eddie says terrified. “It’s okay Eds. I’m just getting you something to change into. I’ll leave the door open okay? I’m right here.” I softly speak going to kiss him before jetting out to grab the sweatpants and an old Ozzy shirt he owns. I run back into the room and set the clothes down. “See, I’m back.” I give him a peck on the lips before taking off his vest and jacket. I help him raise his arms up to take off his Hellfire Club shirt and slip the Ozzy one on. I then uncuff his handcuff-belt and take off his pants, then replace them with the sweatpants. He’s so delicate, I can’t break him anymore.

We go back into the main room and I get the bed ready. Eddie climbs in first as I turn off the lights. I then climb in and notice the walkie talkie on my side. If only I could communicate with Dustin like I did earlier. I don’t want to freak Eddie out more than he already is. Dustin has more knowledge than I do of the Upside Down. He experienced it with the Demogorgon and the Mind Flayer. I just know it would be too much for Eddie. He’s so fragile right now, how could I properly say “hey you’re possibly right about it being supernatural” without him being more terrified. I hold him tightly thinking about it as he sleeps. I whisper, “I’m here baby boy, I’m right here.”

I grab his hand and hold it against his chest, faintly feeling his heartbeat. It’s calmed down since he came in, his breathing seems to be calming down too. My mind races with ideas of how to help him. Obviously, I’ll tell him repeatedly it was not his fault, which it absolutely wasn’t. I would tell him I will find out what happened and defend him. Fight for him. Protect him and his life. Protect Chrissy’s too, the dead has to rest too. I don’t want to hear Jason or his friends accuse her of being a slut. I know Dustin would have a solution, I just need to get in touch with him.

I feel Eddie wince against me and murmur “No!” “Don’t take her!” “NO!” He wakes up and turns to see me, relieved. I hold his face as he breathes heavily. He holds my face as well, the fear in his eyes disappears. “Eds, are you okay?” Eddie has tears form in his eyes once more, as if something happened. “Rox, baby, I thought I lost you. Oh my god.” I rub his chest, helping him calm down. “What happened? Do you want to talk about it?” Eddie holds my hands. We lay back against the pillows. “The thing that happened to Chrissy, it happened to you… We were talking about the future, after graduating. You’d just be frozen and not responding as I call out for you. I… I- couldn’t stop it. I had to watch you die.”

I continue to run him to calm him down. “Eddie, I'm right here. I’m not going anywhere.” He holds my face. Tears begin falling down his face once again. “Rox, what if you were next? I couldn’t live with myself. Ever. You are the love of my life. I can’t fucking lose you. I can’t stand to think about it. I can’t do that to you, or Dustin. Roxie, please don’t ever leave me. I- I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.” I grab a hold of his hands, tears now forming in my eyes. “Eds, baby, hey. You will never ever lose me. You have me forever.”

We kiss and put our foreheads against each other. “When Chrissy was on the ceiling, all I could think about was finding and protecting you. I won’t let anything happen to you, or Dustin. I won’t.” I hold him close. “I’m right here, forever and always. So is Dustin. We’re not going anywhere trust me. I love you so much Eddie. I’m not going anywhere. Okay?” We share a passionate, yearning kiss. Eddie holds me close. “I love you too Roxie. So fucking much.” “We should try to sleep again… here.” I turn around and Eddie holds me. “That’s better.” He kisses my cheek and holds our hands to my chest, which now my heart is beating rapidly. I kiss his hands, thinking about everything he told me. “Goodnight baby.” “Goodnight sweetheart.”

******

The sun shines through the cabin and I wake up to the walkie talkie. “Roxie, do you copy?” I, half awake, realize it’s my brother. I turn and look at Eddie, who’s peacefully asleep. I get up quietly, grab the walkie talkie, and jet to the bathroom. “Hey, sorry I was asleep. Listen, Dustin, something happened last night.” “Yeah, we know, Chrissy’s dead. It’s on the news.” Shit. “Is Eddie with you?” “Yes, he is. And ‘we’?” “Yeah, good. Robin, Steve, Max and I.” I put two and two together. “Okay, so oh need to come over right now. I think it may have something to do with the Upside Down.” I hear Dustin utter “shit” as I look over at Eddie from the bathroom. He’s still asleep. “Okay, Roger that. We’re on the way. Over and out.”

#joseph quinn #eddie munson #stranger things #eddie x oc #eddie stranger things #dustin henderson #chrissy cunningham