#i actually had...friends? people who enjoyed talking to me

[magics-neptunes-things]

The Dork And The Nerd

Hello there!

I didn't post anything with Leah since like for ever, so there it is!

Please enjoy :)

TW : None I think, or please let me know :)

Looking around the room, you readjust the camera one last time before starting your stream. It’s your job, even if some people are still saying that it isn’t a real job and stupid things like that.

You were winning your life easily with it, living your dream. You always loved playing video games, you started alone because it wasn’t what your little sisters were loving to do. When you discovered online games it was a life changing for you. You started streaming when you were 18 years old, which was seven years ago now. It was hard at first to be honest, being a woman in this man world.

But you find some friends in popular streamers who took you under their wings and help you to be where you are now.

You have several thousand people who follow you to each of your live, four night each week. You still have some shit to deal with, like harassers, but you took a manager who is the one reading your mail. He takes on him to choose your different partnership and sometimes answer to the people sending you strange things.

You are openly gay, but that doesn’t make stop some of men to send you disturbing pictures. Thanks god it’s your agent who see them, but you are aware of it. Just like your girlfriend, though.

You start your stream like usual, saying hello to your followers and talking a little bit about actuality or what you did today. You have a white kitten, who you called Purrito, who is almost as famous as you are. He keeps coming when you are playing, sometimes lying on your hand, or trying to catch the mouse of your computer. You already have a lot of bloopers because of him, but you can’t be mad with him.

Lately, your passion for video games seems to have catch the attention of your girlfriend. She always was looking at you when you are streaming, when she can. You usually do it during the evening so she’s back from training or games.

When Leah asked you to learn to her how to play video games, at first you thought she was messing with you. But she was really serious and ask you one more time. And who are you to refuse something to your girlfriend?

At first it was just to have fun, but you soon have an idea, and you used your best puppy eyes to get your girlfriend agreed with it. You wanted to make her play with you, but without her showing her face in your screen.

You never talked about Leah being your girlfriend, even if you are together for two years now. The public know that you are in a relationship, you sometimes mention your girlfriend live. They just don’t know who she is.

You met Leah at a ceremony and Katie who is a fan of your job took Leah when she went to met you. You were happy to met Katie, but you find yourself thunderstruck by Leah. You don’t remember if you were really coherent that night, but Leah followed you back almost immediately when you did it on Instagram.

You waited the next Arsenal games to sent her a message, congratulating her for her performance. You even take a picture of you in the stand with your father (who really was surprised when you ask him to go with you to a women football game). Leah answered you that next time you come you have to tell her, so she could give you a better seat.

You didn’t know if she was serious or not, but she then asked you the next game in London if you are coming and she find you a seat in the friends and family area. After the game she offers you to go for a drink. You then had other dates, and the rest is history.

You got together one month before she did her ACL and even if it was a hard time, you both get stronger. You let Lia Wälti take the lead in Leah’s recovery, but you were always around to help too. When Lia return to her home, you were the one staying with Leah at night. And you kept taking her in her rehab and cooking for her.

The day Leah started to run again, you were at the training to watch her. This is the day where she officially asked you to move in with her now that she could do things alone again. Unless cooking maybe, but that’s another question.

You accepted of course and the blonde happily transformed one of her guest room in your studio of stream.

It’s where you are now, Leah peacefully setting on your living room, ready to go live with you.

“Oh, it looks like our guest is here” you smile when you see that Leah is connected too. “Hi Baby!”

You only said to your viewers that it was your girlfriend, without saying anything else. You are aware that maybe someone will recognize Leah’s voice, but it would be fun anyway.

“Hi Love” she answers.

You make a reminder of the game you were going to play, for her first live Leah chose a car games, Trackmania. It wasn’t your favorite game, but you were so happy that she said yes to you that you would have accept a Tetris game.

“How are you?” you ask her, while making the game ready.

“I’m fine. Happy to play with you tonight.”

“I am happy too” you smile before looking at the camera. “Let’s have her a good evening guys so she will accept to do it more often yeah?”

You hear Leah chuckle, and you can’t help but smile. You already are seeing comments saying that you look whipped, what makes you roll your eyes. It seems to you that Leah’s voice is a little different from what it is in reality, but maybe your mind is playing trick.

You play several runs with Leah, before switching to another game after talking with your chat who recommend to you to make Leah try an adventure RPG. When you look at the clock again, it’s past midnight.

“Oh wow I didn’t realize that it was already so late” you exclaimed yourself. “We are going to stop here guys, I’m sorry. Maybe next time we will try Minecraft or something else, I’ll let you know. I hope you had as fun as I had Babe.”

“It was really fun. Thank you for inviting me.”

You can hear Leah smile and you can’t wait to go to the living room for a cuddle and kiss session. When you played together until know, you were able to show each other or tease the other with kisses.

“You will be invited for more times” you smirk.

Leah left and you take the time to thanks your viewers a little more longer before logging off. You stretch, finishing your bottle of water before going to find Leah. You run on the stairs and Leah already knew you were coming before you jump on the couch next to her.

She laughs when you attack her with kisses all over her face, finishing on her lips.

“Did you really have fun?” you ask, looking at her with attention.

She nods, playing with your hair. She’s smiling and every time you look at her, you wonder how in the world you get so lucky. She’s perfect.

“I did” she smiles at you. “I’m not saying that I want to do that all the night every night, but it was great.”

“Mh I maybe have another idea for us to have fun all night” you smirk.

The tone of your voice is very obvious and if Leah had one doubt, she just has to look the way you are looking at her. Your fingers run on her tight and you kiss her one more time, before sucking slightly at her neck.

Leah gulp and just hums, tilting her head on the side for you to have a better access. You know what you are doing, after more than two years, you know Leah’s body and reactions like the back of your hand.

“Let’s go to bed” Leah decides several seconds after, taking your hand before dragging you in your bedroom on the first floor.

********

“It was a great session.”

You smile at Leah who came to your studio after you played together again. You were still sitting when she entered the room, and she passed her hand around your shoulder from behind to kiss your cheek.

“It was” you smile before turning your chair to face Leah.

She sits on your lap, and you pass your arms around her. It wasn’t the second time that you are playing together while you are streaming, today you chose Fifa and it was very fun. You made the pact not to play with Arsenal or England, but it was still very funny. Leah is a very bad looser, so you play several games in the same team too.

“People are starting to have some suspicion though” Leah says.

She was right, you saw on social media some things about your girlfriend being Leah. But it wasn’t the only name coming.

“Yeah, they said I will make a great couple with some of your teammates too” you shrug, before counting on your fingers “They are talking about Sabrina, Alessia, Kyra and Lia.”

Leah frown, not really liking the picture who comes in her mind.

“Nah. You’re mine.” she answers possessively.

“Do you want to tell people?”

Leah looks at you, thinking for several seconds before answering. This is lasting for some weeks now and you know that you can’t stay hidden forever. You attract the attention of the world by playing together.

“Not now. It’s fun like this, don’t you think?”

“It is” you confirm with a smile.

Leah has the habit to be coupled with every teammate and you are sometimes shipped with other streamers. You like to stream with other of them, certain being your friends too. There is nothing much, but that doesn’t stop people to imagine that you are dating one of them.

But you have to admit too that your stream with Leah attracts more people than usual, and you are a little scared that people will assume that you’re using your girlfriend for the views.

Your face being very close to Leah, she seems to realize very quickly that something is on your mind.

“What’s the matter?” she asks.

“Nothing” you say at first, before sighing. “Well, I mean… I already have some viewers saying that I’m using my girlfriend to gain more viewers, so I was wondering how they would react when they realize it’s you.”

You shrug to show her that it’s not really important, you don’t want to think you are worried about something so little.

“If someone say that you know what my answer will be?” Leah asks with a serious face.

“No” you mumble.

“I will tell them that we are together for two years, that you have been the best girlfriend in the world since. I will tell them how affectionate, caring, sweet, funny, clever and passionate you are.”

You can’t help but smile and feel your cheek being a little red at that statement. Leah smirks and kisses your cheek.

“And I’ll add that if you use me, it’s only in the bedroom and the way you do is actually very talented and also very private.”

You laugh this time, hitting her on the arm. Leah seems very happy about her joke, her eyes shinning with malice. She’s so beautiful. You bite her jaw before whispering.

“You’re such a dork.”

“The Nerd and the Dork, it would be a great book title” she smirks.

“You’re not totally wrong.”

********

“You’re cheating!”

You can’t help but laugh at Leah. You are playing once again against your girlfriend, during a live. You are playing at Mario Kart and you just won the race for the third time in a row. She’s fuming and even if you can’t see her, the noise coming from downstairs are letting you know that she’s actually kicking the ground right now.

“I’m not, Baby I swear. You can’t cheat in this game.”

“Yes, you are!”

You roll your eyes, not answering anything. You are of course very aware about of much your girlfriend hates to lose. You are at the first place while Leah is third, which is really good for someone who isn’t playing video games daily like you. But not for the great Leah Williamson.

“Someone in the comment is saying that I will sleep on the couch. I won’t Babe, right?”

“I’m not sure about it for now” Leah grumbles. “Or maybe I’ll go sleep to the trai…”

You cough suddenly and Leah stops talking, realizing what she was just about to say. You really hope that no one would understand what she was going to say. Or at least another end of sentence, not “training ground”.

“Alright, next game” you say right after.

“I’m gonna crush you.”

She doesn’t and when you join her in the kitchen after, she seems really embarrassed. You ignore the different messages asking what Leah wanted to say and the answer some of them gave. You saw that some people where right and you know that the research will start again.

“I’m so sorry” she says, coming for you while you’re entering the room. “I was fuming because I was losing, and I forgot for some seconds that it wasn’t only you and me.”

You smile, easily passing your arms around her to give her a hug. She cuddles against you when you kiss her temple.

“It’s ok, don’t worry. Plus, you are the most famous between the both of us, you will be the most annoyed by all that.”

“Why would I be annoyed?”

Leah back up her head a little bit, just to be able to have a better look at your face. You arch an eyebrow before answering.

“Because you always told me you want privacy.”

It was in the early hours of your relationship, and you never said anything against it. You understood Leah’s needs, at this time you weren’t as famous as you are right now. She wanted to be known for her skills, her job in football or her implications in different charities. And the point was very easy for you to be understood. Your friends are families know obviously about you two, it would be strange and difficult to hide a relationship when you live together. Plus because of her answer last time you talked about it, you were really sure that it was what she want.

“I told you that at first, but now I wouldn’t mind if people start to know about us.”

She shrugs like it’s nothing, but your mind just blown. You were used to the idea of people stay in the ignorance about your relationship and the love you have for this woman. As long as you have her, why would you complain?

“Do you… Really?” you frown.

“Yeah, I mean if you don’t want to be out…”

“No, I do. I just thought that you would like to stay private for like forever?”

“I love you. I want the world to know how happy you make me. But in several weeks. I want to play with your fans a little more.”

“Sounds good to me” you smirk. “And I love you too.”

********

For the next weeks, you chose one day of the week to play and stream with Leah. Between those days, you were careful to post some things on social media, giving little clues to your followers about the identity of your girlfriend. You never posted something with Leah or even with a part of her hand or hair. It was more subtle than that.

Until one day, where you were peacefully streaming while Leah went out with her friends. You usually go with her, but today it was more an unexpected drink, so you already have something planned on your channel. You have an entire trust in Leah, and you know that nothing would ever happen with anyone. If you go with her almost every time, it’s only to have a great time with her.

Plus, tonight she’s out with Katie, Caitlin, Steph, her boyfriend, and Kyra, so there are really no risks.

You usually wait for Leah to text you that she was coming home to cut your stream, so you have the time to finish what you are doing and say goodbye to your viewers. Tonight though, either you didn’t see her message, or she forgot to send it to you.

Still, there is suddenly a stunning blonde who enters your studio, showing herself in the camera at the same time. You are so surprised that you only can look at her on the screen of your camera.

“Hello Hot stuff! You won’t believe what I just learned about Kyra! Did you k- … Oh shit.”

That’s the moment she realizes. It was almost comical to be honest, the enthusiastic tone with which she began her sentence, the moment of silence and the last words spoken in a low voice.

You only have like two seconds to decide if you want to cut the stream and never talk about it again, or if it’s time to be honest with everyone. You chose a third way and turn to the camera.

“Well it’s time for me to say goodbye. See you tomorrow at eight. Thanks for being here!”

You wave and cut the stream and the camera before turning in Leah’s direction. She seems amused but she has at the same time the same look on the face of a teenager caught doing something wrong.

“Funny way to outing things, this clip will be viral” you comment with a small smile.

“I’m sorry?”

Leah can’t hide her smile and you can’t either. You can be mad at her for something like that. You let Leah comes to sit on your lap, kissing her softly when she’s settled. She taste like tequila.

“How was your night?”

“Great. But I missed you.”

She hides her face in your neck, and you feel the goosebumps forming when her breath stroke your skin.

“Did you have fun?”

She hums, start to kiss your neck and you know that the discussion you were supposed to have right now is delayed for now. You will have a lot of time to talk about it later. Your phones are way too busy receiving tons notifications to be able to do anything with it right now anyway.

********

YourInstagram and LeahWilliamson

liked by liawalti, leahwilliamson, alessia, bethmead and 199,937 others

YourInstagram Two years and a half with this dork. I love you ❤️🤍

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leahwilliamson I love you more my Nerd ❤️🤍  

#woso imagine #woso x reader #woso fanfics #leah williamson #leah williamson x you #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson x reader

[juleswritesstuff]

Am I the only one who thinks most of the Marauders and the Slytherin Skittles would have the biggest praise kink in history ?

warnings: smut

I feel like it would be more prominent while he is intimate with you. He is mostly afraid of not living up to the expectation he thinks you have of him. So you make sure he knows that he makes you literally touch the sky.

Just a little thought I had today. Let me know if you want a part two with the reader and the boys' roles reversed, I'll be more than happy to comply 😉

Enjoy💗

James would have one because of his constant need to be perfect, to be what he thinks the others need him to be: the perfect son, the perfect friend, the perfect student. But he always has doubts ‘am I enough ?’, ‘am I doing enough ?', ‘will they like me ’, ‘what if they don’t ? what if they hate me ?’ He needs to be reassured that he is. He is enough, he is more than enough. 

‘That was the best match i’ve ever watched ! Merlin, you were brilliant on that broom James’ after Gryffindor wins the last match of the year.

‘What do you mean ‘stupid’ ? They’re your glasses baby, they help you see. And you look really hot wearing them in my opinion’ after he overhears someone talking about another person and saying they look stupid with that specific pair of glasses.

‘Like that, baby. You’re doing so good’ while he is covering your neck with kisses and gentle bites.

‘Yes, yes, fuck, right there Jamie’ after a particularly deep and strong thrust leaves you breathless.

‘You look so good between my legs, love’ while he is eating you out messily and hungrily and so, so perfectly.

‘No one feels as good as you. No one could ever make me feel the way you do, James’ while he is still inside of you, catching his breath and looking at you with devotion.

‘Are you sure it was ok ?’

‘James, it was more than ok. My legs are shaking baby, that's a sign that it pretty damn amazing’

‘Are you serious ?’

‘Apart from the very lame joke I am sure you’re thinking about, yes, I am. Actually, why don’t I show how serious I really am ?’

‘What do you mean, baby?’

‘I mean that you’re gonna fuck me again and i’ll show you how much I always crave your lips, then a third time and i’ll make sure the entire castle hears how you can make me cry with just your tongue, then a fourth because that perfect dick of yours needs to be fucking worshipped, and, finally, a fifth to show you that you fuck me so good that not a single coherent thought processes in my head when you're taking me apart on your cock, Jamie’ 

Remus would have one because he has hated himself his whole life. He feels like a monster, like he doesn’t deserve all the love he is surrounded by, like all the good things people say about him are just lies. And he knows the truth, he knows he is nothing but an horrid creature and that he doesn’t deserve to be loved. Except that it isn’t the truth, and you tell him everyday.

With him I feel like it would be more out of the bedroom, and outside of sex, but not exclusively.

‘You’re really good at that spell Remus, mind showing me how it’s done ?’ after he gets a rather difficult charm right at the first try.

‘You look very hot today, Rem. Well, you look hot everyday actually’ which makes him blush from head to toes.

‘You’re the best, you know ? You really are’ after he explains a difficult concept that nobody else got, but him.

‘Holy hell, right there Remus. You feel way too good’ while he eases in and out of you with a steady rhythm, knocking the air out of your lungs.

‘You take such good care of me’ while he is going down on you, slowly, sensually and with a glint of hunger in his eyes, knowing exactly what to do to make you fall apart.

‘I love you, you know that right ?’

‘Yes, darling. You tell me everyday’ 

‘Well, that’s not enough. From now on, I'll tell you twice a day’

‘But why ?’

‘Because it’s true' and then you give him the sweetest kiss.

Sirius would have one because he has been told his whole life that he wasn’t enough. That he needed to be better, to do better, to be a better heir for the Noble House of Black, to be a better son, to be a better brother. He was told that he was worthless, that his parents had no use in having a son like him. He was a disappointment, a shame to the family. For them he didn’t exist anymore.

But for you he was the most perfect person to ever walk on earth. Your brightest star.

He would love it both inside and outside the bedroom. I feel like he would also ask you to tell him something that makes him feel good, especially when he is having a bad day. He has no problem being praised in public, but he becomes especially vulnerable when you’re intimate because he can finally let go.

‘Tell me what did I do to have the best boyfriend ever ?’ After he brings you flowers one day because he told you they reminded them of you.

‘It’s ok Sirius, you’ll get it eventually. You’re one of the best students, you just need a bit more time which is totally fine’ after the tenth time he tries to get one of the most difficult spells right, only for it to go wrong.

‘You’re worth it Sirius. You’re worth every single good thing that happens to you, never doubt that’ after he breaks down reading one of his mothers older letters, full of foul words directed at him.

‘You’re such a good boy, aren’t you ?’ after he listens to you so well, kissing every inch of your body.

‘Fuck, you should see yourself baby. You look so good, so perfect for me’ while you’re on his lap, riding him slowly to savor that sultry fucked out expression on his face that makes you go feral.

‘You’re so sweet, Sirius, do you know that ? So fucking sweet’ after you bob your head on his length, swirling your tongue around his head to suck gently as his taste coats your mouth.

‘Was I good ?’

‘You’re always good, Sirius. More than’

‘Are you sure ?’

‘Do you want me to describe in detail how good you are at splitting me open in every position known to man ? Because I can do that if you want. Might take three whole days though, a week if you want me to talk about that sinful tongue of yours, too’

‘I think we have enough time’ and then you both start laughing.

Regulus would have one because he’s been second his whole life. Second for his brother, second for his parents before Sirius left , sometimes he feels second even for his friends. He thinks no one cares deeply about him, he’s just there as a rebound. He’s never been anyone’s first choice, and he thinks he never will be.

You make sure he knows that not only he would be your first choice in every lifetime, but that he would also be the only choice for you, no one else would or could ever compare. He is the center of your universe after all.

I feel like he would blush like crazy and pretend he is annoyed by your words when you’re in public and you praise him even for the simplest thing, but his eyes would also warm up a little, just for a second, before going back to his blank and rather stoic expression. He would be a mess in the bedroom though, when he can finally let go and he allows himself to feel good about the sweet words that leave your lips.

‘You have the prettiest eyes I have ever seen’ after he catches you staring at him for a moment too long.

‘Your poems are literally art, Regulus. I can’t believe you can write like this, you know this is pure talent, right ?’ after he shows you his poems for the first time and you nearly cry because more than half of them are dedicated to you.

‘You were so good up there, Reggie. And the way you caught the Snitch ? Fucking incredible. You are incredible’ after Slytherin wins one of the biggest matches of the season thanks to Regulus catching the Snitch one minute from the end.

‘You feel so good, love. Stretching me out so well’ after his cock slides inside of you perfectly, filling you up so nicely.

‘Eyes on me, Regulus. They’re so gorgeous, I want them focused me while I make you cum, ok ? Be good and keep them open’ as you stroke his length up and down, feeling the velvety soft skin on your palm as you give his head a gentle suck, tasting him on your tongue.

‘You’re so pretty when you’re all fucked out, Reggie. You feel so good taking me like this’ while you’re riding him and he looks at you with hazy eyes, lust and pure bliss fogging his brain’

‘I’m yours Regulus. I’m undoubtedly, irrevocably and utterly yours’

‘Promise me’

‘I promise, I’m not going anywhere. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me forever, actually’

‘Mmh, it’s gonna be hard, but I’ll survive I guess’ while you’re still joined, one body and one soul as you kiss him slowly and sweetly, his tone sarcastic but betrayed by the smile that's progressively growing on his lips.

Barty would have one because his father never gave him his attention. He was never enough for him, never a good son, never a good student, never good. He was constantly ignored, and the few times his father acknowledged him was to tell him that he was a lost cause, a disgrace, a shame. He was just a stupid boy, too reckless, too careless, too unhinged, too much, and, at the same time, never enough. But it wasn’t like that. He was a bit impulsive, and sometimes he went a little bonkers, but he was a good person, and there were people who cared about him and his well being. You always made sure he knew that. He was your priority.

I have a feeling that he would be completely unashamed of being praised in public exactly like he is praised in the bedroom. Probably not in front of the whole school, but he wouldn't really care if people eavesdropped, his crooked grin widening when he notices their horrified faces. It is  their fault, they could mind their own damn business.

‘Yes, Barty, you’ve been a good boy’ after he asks you if he has been good after getting an O in Potions.

‘Baby, we’re in public, I can’t just scream about how good you fuck me. There are people eating, for Merlin’s sake’ after he sees a guy talking to you before sitting at the table in the Great Hall. He asks you if you could tell him that he is the only one who could make you come with just his skilled fingers.

‘Don’t think like that ever again, Barty. You are not a lost cause, you aren't. You deserve good things, you deserve the best things, sweetie. You deserve to be loved, and I do. I love you so much Barty, don’t ever think you are not important to me because you are. You mean the world to me’ after he receives a letter from his father asking how a cretin like him was able to find someone who could love him. If he hadn’t begged you to stop after calming down a little you would’ve been in Azkaban with a murder charge by now.

‘Fuck, I love when you do that. Feels amazing, baby’ after he trails a path of kisses down your chest only to focus on the tender flesh of your nipple as he sucks gently, and grazes it with his teeth, teasing you.

‘Harder, baby. I know you like it like this’ while his thrusts become more erratic, stronger and deeper and you can hardly think.

‘You’re cock is perfect, Barty. Fills my mouth so nicely’ while you’re sucking him off, his tip hits your throat and you swallow as the loudest moan leaves his mouth.

‘I told Mulciber that no one can make you scream as loud as I do’

‘You did what ?! Barty !’

‘What ? Is it not true ?’

‘I- of course it’s true, but why did you have to tell him ?’

‘He was being rather cocky about the fact that he could make you scream like, and I quote ‘a bitch’. Then he started using other very disrespectful words to describe you baby, and at that point I had to punch him right in the face, because no one has to even dare to talk about you like that. He is actually lucky my Sectumsempra is not perfect yet, or he would’ve ended way worse. And then I added that little detail. I probably shouldn’t have done it, but I was furious. Do you want me to obliviate him ? I can do that if you want’

‘It’s fine, he needs some salt rubbed on his wounds’

‘Are you sure ?’

‘Yes, baby. And it’s nothing new, I'm sure the entire dorm hears me when you’re fucking me, I can't help it. Now come on my knight in bloody knuckles, let’s go to Madame Pomfrey to get those bruises checked’ you kiss him lightly before heading to the infirmary.

#marauders #marauders era #the maraunders map #marauders map #marauders smut #harry potter #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #regulus black #barty crouch junior #marauder's era #james potter x reader #james x reader #remus lupin x reader #remus x reader #sirius x reader #sirius black x reader #regulus x reader #regulus black x reader #barty crouch jr x reader #barty x reader #james potter smut #sirius black smut #remus lupin smut #regulus black smut #barty crouch jr #barty crouch jr smut #slytherin skittles

[pixiesndberries]

LABYRINTH

— "social media lowkey" F2 driver was seen together with a famous F1 driver? are they together? PART 01

⑅ pairings : Lando Norris & Fem!F2Driver Reader.

— faceclaim : no specific face claim for the reader, joão felix, and magui corceiro (PART 02 !).

⑅ warnings : reader is kind of an introvert?

⑅ note : NONE OF THESE ARE REAL! tweets do not exist in real life and all fictional, photos are not mine and i am not claiming it as mine. None of these happened in real life, like I said this is all fictional ᯓ★ it's been long pookies, i hope you enjoy this one!

MEETING LANDO NORRIS, what could go wrong right? well, that's what she thought at least — she never met this man in her life before, though she is familiar because obviously he's one of the famous F1 drivers and to be honest she's been waiting for this since she's a reserve driver for Mclaren. She never knew she would feel this way, what way? she never have felt this pleasant in her life this quick before — pleasant? comfy? warm? whatever you call it.

despite the cold weather talking to him was thawing the cold feeling inside her, this quick? yes.

"Lando Norris, just Lando." he laughs with his eyes squinting and those wrinkles building up under his eyes, for a moment she doesn't know what to do because she's really bad at socializing despite getting surrounded by many people almost everyday.

"y/n l/n, it's very nice to meet you." she says with a nod and a small grin, the man sticks out his hand offering a hand shake which she quickly accepted — his warm hands having contact with hers, a cold one.

why am i so nervous? she gulps.

"well, how are we doing y/n?" he chuckles still having that such smile plastered on his face which made her get in with the vibe, her fave moving itself to give him her nicest smile as she spoke "doing just fine, never expected to meet you." she laughs.

"that's good."

"what about you?"

usually conversation ends with that's good whenever someone asks her, but suddenly her mouth uttered those words — in the corner of her eyes she can see suzie throwing a hold up look on both of them yet with a smile.

even me, i would throw that reaction.

and well, after those words she spoke their conversation have gotten far almost telling everything about herself and how did she managed to enter this situation where she drives for PREMA and the only woman in F2 as of now — how did how are we doing went to,

"that's interesting, yeah?"

"yes, well actually —"

"he followed me on Instagram."

"who?" says by her friend who threw her a confused look thinking who is this girl talking about, she never really cared about her social media after her and that you know who broke up.

"lando, lando norris."

her friend quickly stood up from her seat, her phone slipping from her hands as she stood up — she quickly jump next to y/n checking her phone which made her have this icky reaction.

"girl seriously? have you seen what your fans says on twitter."

"..no?"

"fuck, let me see." her friends says as she grabbed her phone quickly than a snatcher which made her sigh.

as she was looking through her phone, y/n sat there thinking still about their interaction — she never told everyone what she felt that time except for her friend, that's why she reacted like this. y/n never really took her feelings seriously, maybe she's just infatuated by his looks and kindness and nothing else serious.

I guess, hopefully?

"girl you like him right? you should post shit omg."

"no? what, i never said i like him?"

"you know, i feel something when i met lando." her friend mocked her with the same stern yet genuine tone she had whenever she's talking, "tell me you didn't like him."

"that doesn't mean it's romantic?"

"it is, soon."

y/n scratches her hair as her response, it's nothing and it's weird to fall in love with someone that quick.

not long enough, expect the expected they started to hang out for PR purposes only but who thought both of them could enjoy it — it's not like she's an antisocial or something but she never really had close friends in F2 or in the past, unless from her non-celebrity friends who grew up with her.

even behind cameras they hangout a lot, they sometimes would play video games together or basically just do recreational activities together outdoor and indoor — they got close pretty quickly and it's only been three months since they met.

having Lando with her feels nice especially when they just talk, just them alone — i mean no meaning behind it but the intimacy, it feels comfortable like no judgement, no negative shit, and it's literally just them talking about the things they love and for her communication is something she lacked and this make everything feels better.

"can i see?" lando chuckles as he peaks through her phone leaning a little more on her side so he can see the pictures of her cats.

"here." she smiles proudly showing the photos of her cats, there are three of them.

"oh they need to be here, i need to see them they look adorable as hell." lando laughs pointing at the chubby baby cats in her phone.

"should i?"

"if you wouldn't mind."

"sure, why not."

UH OH, IM FALLING IN LOVE.

〇 landonorris 53s ago.

viewed by carlossainz55 and 43, 988 others.

six months, it's been six freaking months of them being friends.

she understand, why she's feeling like this.

feeling like what?

she doesn't know either but whenever he's around that smile on her face appears like he's rainbow showing up in the darkest clouds of her life after storms — she felt more inspired to be better not only as a person but to be better in the things she does.

"why are you not posting much in your account? sorry if the question was personal just curious." lando sags but then feeling embarrassed after his question because it might a little personal for you, who knows.

for a moment she thought about what to say thinking if she would pull the savory answer or the real answer — him and lando might be friends but she's not so sure yet, wether to tell him.

he might judge me

why would he?

uh i don't know.

he's gone through break-up as well why would he not understand?

she's basically debating with herself.

"i just don't want to be active in social media after my uh" for a moment she was breathing heavily as she plays with her fingers.

"it's okay you don't have to."

"after me and damièn broke up i don't feel really like it and it's okay."

it's true after what damièn have done to their relationship she doesn't want to do anything else but to drive.

"im sorry to hear that." he says as he puts his hands on her shoulder, caressing it with his thumb showing a sympathy.

"it's alright and i already moved on." she says with a nod and a smile making lando smile as well.

"i think you should post more, your fans are going crazy in twitter." he laughs "no pressure."

"really? never been on twitter a lot so."

〇 y/n.instagram

♫ Desperado — Rihanna

y/n.instragam | 🏎️

liked by kimi.antonelli, landonorris and 698,332 others.

mclaren 🫣

liked by creator.

landonorris kudos to the person who did the camera work 🫡

↳ y/n.instagram credits to you 😒

↳ flowersandlilysfor.y/n the voices inside my head is telling me that they're something.

↳ landonowinssmh23 ayo

zak.osullivan wowwwww

liked by creator.

racerbia babe wake up, y/n posted ☝️

↳ y/n.instagram 🫂

lilymhe i miss you! 🥹

↳ y/n.instagram i miss u too!

lewishamilton 🙌🏾

liked by the creator.

embutidoseller22 SHE'S BACK OMG

oscar_pastry0 TELL A FRIEND OF A FRIEND THAT SHE'S BACKKKKKK

luis.png DID SHE REMEMBER HER PASSWORD NOW

user263726 lmao the f2 boys liking

whatdaheel_55 stay away from lando

user136739 instead of posting can you actually practice more lol?

landooo.borris SHE POSTED GUYS THE QUEEN IS BACK

damiii_fan32 did she already moved on?

user463659 LANDO COMMENTED OMG

y/nflowers.99 lando pulled her? LUCKY MAN

↳ whatdaheel_55 no they're not together

juststeve7 absolutely gorgeous 🤤

iloebpearljam WE NEED MORE YOU AND LANDO PLS 🙏

load more comments...

OH NO, IM FALLING IN LOVE.

9 months and still going, Lando is someone that she never expected to come in her life that she would be needing — the amount of comfort he provides her was everything she could ask for, their friendship was really something for both of their lives.

"hey, thank you for coming." he says wiping his lips using the soft tissue that was placed in the table, "i know you're pretty busy." he added as he threw the used tissue away.

"it's alright, the pasta made everything worth it." she chuckles sipping on the cold glass of water lando gave her.

"i know im no chef but thank you." he laughs

"what? you literally cook the best." she insists

he went silent for a moment giving her the glare like at this moment she was the only one who matters — she gulps then places the water back into the table, the sound making lando snapped back.

"thank you again, you don't know how much im so thankful for you." he says with that soft endearing tone.

why is he saying this? right now that- whatever.

it's making her heart flutter and she doesn't even know what to say, the way he looks at her and talks to her — she doesn't know what to feel at that moment, it's like her whole body was raising and she couldn't bring herself to speak.

".. you know i always got you right?" she smiles

"yeah." he nodded "and i could say the same thing." he smiles.

his smile, that damn smile — ever since from the start that what absolutely caught her attention, the way he smile was everything. It's making her feel something, special? she's fully aware that they're friends but something inside her that she couldn't describe keeps knocking out of her heart.

do i love him?

of course you do, you're friends.

no i mean like, i love him like he's the only that matters.

"anyway, you ready for some ice cream?"

"yeah, of course, ive been waiting for you to ask that."

OH, IM FALLING IN LOVE ..

ᯓ★ pixiesndberries 2024 ! i don't allow my work to be share in any platforms without my permission — REBLOGS, LIKES, AND FOLLOW WOULD BE APPRECIATED !

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #mclaren f1 #mclaren formula 1 #lando norris social media au #f1 smau #f1 wags #formula 2 #prema racing #oscar piastri #charles leclerc #carlos sainz au #lewis hamilton #f1 x reader #sebastian vettel #jenson button #fernando alonso #formula one #formula 1 fanfic #mclaren #taylor swift

[rilirios]

➢ love me or love me not?

—✦ pairings. various!characters x gn!reader —✦ summary. love, it can be the most beautiful thing, or an absolute disaster. for you, it was a trainwreck. —✦ cw. angst, unrequited love —✦ w.c. 300+ all together —✦notes. hot freaks ib fic!! another repost from my old blog. im probably gonna repost one more then write something new or go back on break c:

i. heartache

you knew what you were getting into. falling in love with a person who was already in love. you saw the admiration in their eyes when they looked at their beloved. you saw the smitten look on their face. 

but you were in love, utterly infatuated. it was sickening. and you knew you had two choices: either move on from this little crush or enjoy your feelings while it lasts. thus, you chose the latter. you didn’t want to think about the possible results of your love, of the rejection you’d face. 

so you simply decided to roll with it. pretend that they didn’t love anyone, and enjoy the small moments the two of you had. giggling at words they told you, staying up late just to talk with them. 

however the thought that you wouldn’t be the one for them still remained at the back of your mind. 

— jing yuan, blade, dan heng, diluc, alhaitham, wriothesley, your favorites

ii. write me letters

a hallway crush is what you'd describe it as. but what is a hallway crush? someone you see in the hallway and ogle at for a couple of minutes before moving on with life? you don't even know if they fit the criteria of a hallway crush. sure, you've talked to them for a little while, but it wasn't enough for the two of you to become actual friends.

so then what are you guys? of course, you don't want to end up as just a classmate. and you don't want to just think of them as a simple hallway crush. you want to be more to them. a friend or something more. you wanted to at least exist to them, for them to know you're there.

no longer did you want to just gaze at them through the swarms of people in the hallway.

— kafka, fu xuan, jean, dan heng, neuvilette, your favorites

iii. outset island

looking through a box you found in your garage, you see multiple polaroid photos of your childhood. a certain kid popping up next to you in several of those photos. you don't remember them clearly, but you recall the memories you've had and the little habits they did.

like that one time the two of you hid under a truck to peacefully eat the pastries you weren't allowed to have (the both of you got caught but at least you had fun with it).

and of course, every friendship has to come to an end, and you had a fallout. you don't remember what it was, but you think it was related to you moving away since you both promised to stay with each other forever, despite how childish the promise might've been. you don't recall the words you said, only the tears on your old friends face and a feeling of guilt in your chest.

— lance, rei, jingliu, dan heng, blade, jing yuan, amber, pidge, neuvillette, furina

© rilirios 2024. if you steal my works i will cry

(my friend helped me with this so kudos to them c:)

#˚ ⭒☆ ⋆｡˚ · new additions #・ nouveau livre ˎˊ˗ #—stellaronhvnters. #honkai star rail x reader #genshin impact x reader #blade x reader #jing yuan x reader #wriothesley x reader #neuvillette x reader #kafka x reader #jingliu x reader #jean x reader #dan heng x reader #genshin x reader #hsr x reader

[nouacane]

skin shapes

pairing: spencer reid x bau!fem!reader

summary: after a hard case, spencer tries to comfort you by drawing shapes in your hands.

warnings: mostly fluff, reader is bothered by something but the problem is never really mentioned

author's notes: my first ever post here so i'm kinda nervous !! had to write this for my current spencer obssession, so enjoy! i hope you all love this <3

wc: 624

His mind was somewhere else.

The low hum of the jet engine was buzzing underneath him, although he could hardly feel it under his feet anymore. It probably would’ve bothered him if he was reading or playing chess with Derek, but it really didn’t matter right now. Spencer Reid was completely unfocused because all his mind could focus on was you, how your whole body gave in to exhaustion as soon as you left the accommodating precinct, how awfully quiet you had been for the last few hours, and how

“Kid?” He quickly shakes his head as he turns to Morgan, his thoughts fading for a second. The man had been by his side this whole time, discussing some kind of detail about the case. Unfortunately, Spencer didn’t pay enough attention to it to actually remember what it was. “You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. I just got distracted.” He mumbled some kind of quick excuse, and Derek just brushed it off with a content hum. As Derek resumed his rant, Spencer couldn’t help but paint his gaze around looking for yours, lingering a bit on you as soon as he found it. He excused himself from his spot and marched towards you, leaving his friend behind.

“Hey.” He hoped he would've sounded a bit more confident, but his voice came out just above a whisper. It was loud enough for you to hear, though, he figured, as you looked up from your files.

“Hey.” You give him a soft smile to match your tone, gesturing to the spot next to you when you realize that he is too afraid to ask. Your body relaxed away when you felt the seat shift beneath you, warmth radiating from the boy beside you.

“Are you alright? You seem a little... off today.” He felt you tense under his innocent question and quirked an eyebrow. You felt him staring. He was profiling you.

“What makes you think that?” You quickly glance at him before turning your gaze away, scoffing something under your breath before speaking up. “Don’t profile me.”

“Oh, huh,” he blinked and sat up straight, a pinkish tone blossoming from his cheeks in embarrassment for getting caught. Muttering a soft “sorry” and looking away, you couldn't help but chuckle. “It's okay, Spence.”

You felt him staring again. Or more like observing, like he would probably defend. And you couldn't blame him, really. He was now getting a glimpse into a new reality of yours—one so different from the bubbly persona he was so used to that he didn’t know what to expect. For the first time in his life, Spencer didn’t have the knowledge to fix it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You shake your head in response as you sink deeper into the leather seat, feeling as if your eyes are finally succumbing to sleep. He wasn't going to push it, either. Spencer doesn’t dare to move or make a sound, figuring you needed that bit of rest before you reached Quantico.

So, before his mind could really process his next move, he grabbed your hand and pulled it into his, squeezing it softly. Normal Spencer would tremble at the thought of holding hands, quickly bursting into a rant about how people are more likely to transmit infections than those who exchange a friendly kiss on the cheek and how hands are a critical link in the chain of infection because they transmit infections from surfaces to people and between people. Right now, he doesn’t really care. So he sticks to rubbing his thumb over your hand, softly brushing a heart over it, in hopes that you will feel his love radiating through it. And by the smile on your face, you probably did.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid #criminal minds

[nisimultifandom]

dark!Rafe Cameron x reader

Warnings- MDNI, dark content, power imbalance, mean!rafe, slapping

A/N - finally back, enjoy

——————————————————————————

You were laying in bed when Rafe came storming through the door with Papers in his hand, you couldn’t tell by his face whether it was good or bad news. It was always a surprise and you of course just had to roll with it

,,here” you looked at the papers which he threw in his bed with a confused look, you would need more Information than that, but fortunately he got the hint before you had to say anything

,,These are enrollement papers, i want you to go to school in Tanneyhill”

You were silent for a while, trying to gather up the right words to use without ticking him off, his face was rather stern but there wasn’t much of any emotion, he just waited for your response with his hands on his hips, which made him look more intimidating than he already was

,,But I already go to school on the other side of town, I have all my friends here and I’m happy with it” Rafe got more serious at that, also gathering his words before exploding too fast

,,You go to a pogue school, with pogues, this is a private school for people who will get something from life”

You frowned at that, feeling yourself get a little bit angry, Rafe not only insulted your friends but your family too

,,Rafe, everyone in my Family went to that school, went on to college and made something of themselves, I can’t believe you would say such things" you took a quick breath ,,I don't wanna switch schools"

A mocking grin appeared on his face at that ,,Im sorry i don't recall asking you, i'm telling you, you're changing schools"

you stood up from the bad wanting to be at the same length as him, knowing it would easier to get to you if you're lying down. He frowned at that before licking his teeth, knowing you were about to challenge him

,,And I’m telling you that I’m not changing schools, and you’re not in the position to deci-“ he grabbed you chin before you got to finish the sentence, taking all bravery out of you ,,Y/n…I don’t think you don’t know what position you’re in in this relationship”

,,Do I need to remind you?” You contemplated if a busted lip was worth the trouble and…,,Oh please, big bad Kook prince, show me what you got, it’s all you’ve ever known” his breath flared at that, his blue eyes now a darker shade an you knew if you didn’t stop it wouldn’t end good for you

,,Y/n” he states ,,you’re just scared that if I don’t switch school I’ll end up fucking a pogue” you weren’t schocked when you found yourself on the ground, with a piercing pain in your cheek

,,You disrespectful slut, I thought of doing you a favour didn’t know you had it in you to actually fuck some pogue” you let out a cry when he grabbed the back of your head ,,stand up” your body was working against you but your brain was trying to help you think straight

,,I said stand up” he shook you up by your ponytail, finally finding the strength to stand up, but too late as he already had other plans when he kicked the back of your legs, making you fall to your knees

,,can’t even follow some orders I see, do I need to remind you of your place?” You shook your head no, trying not to disturb his mood ,,answer when I’m talking to you”

,,No Rafe, I-I think I learned my lesson” he swiped the tears from your cheek, smirking down at you ,,You think?”

,,I know I did, I’m sorry”

,,Good, cause next time I won’t be as nice” he whispers in your ear

,,Why do you need to control everything?“ you ask looking down at him through the hair stuck to your face

,,Because you and I both know who makes the money, who takes care of everything“ he goes on ,,If not for me you wouldn’t even survive this fucked up world“ you were shocked at his words, the only person he should be protecting you from, is himself

,,I don’t need a full time babysitter, I’ve been doing just fine on my own” you let out through gritted teeth , Rafe let’s out a groan at that

,,I would advice you to shut the fuck up before I do something I regret” he shouts at you, taking a hold of your hair again, making you let out a pained sob. You try to find comfort in him, by taking a hold of his thighs, at that he raises an eyebrow

,,I-I’m sorry, let’s just stop fighting” trying to gather your words through the pain in your throat was harder than anticipated, the corner of his lip forms a smirk and he’s picking you up from the ground to put his arms around you

,,Stupid girl, next time I tell you to do something, don’t fix your lips to disagree me,got it?” You nod, stuffing your wet face in his polo shirt. Trying to stand up to Rafe was a mistake, one that shouldn’t be repeated again, but if you ever felt rebellious again he would make sure to remind you where you really stand.

#outer banks #dark!rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #the kooks #the pogues #obx fic #dark rafe x reader

[npd-goro-akechi]

Yoshizawa, and what I would have liked to see from her character

P5R spoilers, to no ones surprise

I'll be honest, when i first played through P5R I very much did not enjoy Sumire. Didn't hate her, I just could not get myself to engage with her character. Which was a shame, because I saw what they were trying to do, I just think the game did it badly lol. Since then, I've started liking her significantly more. But, again, in no thanks to the game. Every few weeks I feel like I see a post somewhere discussing Sumire so I wanted to put all my thoughts in one coherent post. This mostly covers the direction I wish Atlus had taken to integrate her into the game better, based off completely my own opinions. First, I would have loved for them to lean further into the mysterious, possible-antagonist type I feel like they were teetering on the edge on in the P5R opening scenes in the casino. I think it would have been cool if you saw her hanging around members of the PTs during school, or had cutscenes of seeing Sumire and any of them together as if she was purposely befriending them, or any other small scenes that could have made her look suspicious if you were already coming from that angle, but then looking back after you finish the game, she's just some guy making friends. Of course, players who had played through the P5 vanilla would likely be a bit less suspicious, but with the addition of the 3rd semester I think it would be enough to keep people guessing about her role. I really don't have any detailed and well thought-out examples, though, so maybe it's not fair of me to criticize this part too much

However, I would revamp her fight with Joker in Maruki's palace completely. I feel like it comes off too much like it's Maruki's fault; she gets kept in his palace for a week and then when you meet her she fights you. To me, personally, even though I know she's choosing to do so, it really doesn't feel like it - it just feels like more of Maruki's influence. I think it would be infinitely cooler if she went back with the Phantom Thieves and then while they were all going through the palace she did something to sabotage their progress or try and stop them. It would feel so much more like her own decision and also highlight that desperation to stay as Kasumi - that she would be (apologetically,) willing to do something to halt or possibly harm her friends to avoid going back to how things were. I think if the Phantom Thieves managed to talk her out of it here, it would also work well for her actual awakening - it would likely be more impactful after a fight rather than in P5R, when the PTs are just going through the palace. It pisses me off how agency is a major theme of the game and yet one of the few times Sumire makes a choice, it's so easily brushed off as "Maruki's influence," because the game did not do a good job at portraying otherwise. In a fit of desperation, Sumire decided to fight Joker; she made that choice. But, especially with how the fight goes, with her persona then taking over, that choice is just washed over completely. I want her to be so desperate to hide from her trauma that she goes against the Phantom Thieves, and I want it to be unquestionably her decision.

There's probably more I could write, especially more about just the horror of her character, the whole taking on the role of your dead sister, but really that second part about changing her and Joker's fight is what I really wanted to talk about and dedicated most of my thoughts too lol

#ive gotta make a comic with that idea someday #or a fic #oh atlus why must you treat your female cast so terribly #also #again #imagine having your world shattered because you thought you were your dead sister #i didnt think about it much at first but the more i do the more im like #what the fuck #thats kinda scary #what the hell maruki #p5 meta #p5r #p5 #p5 royal #sumire yoshizawa #persona 5 #persona 5 royal

[lets-laughagain]

Hi! I saw that you were in 3 shows of Louis in Brasil. Do you mind sharing your favorite moments of each show? If you do mind ignore my ask, I just love reading fan experiences of Louis' shows.

I hope you have a nice day!

hiii i'm sorry it took so long, i was enjoying the rest of my vacation then i got sick due to the different weathers in every city 😬, but anyways here we gooo

i know you asked for my favorite moments but i talk too much and rambled about everything kjsdnadsk

RIO I got to the venue at 7pm, after a lot of traffic and anxiety 🫠, and there was still a big line to get in making giant rooks go on stage 15 minutes later than expected. I had listened a bit to them when the opening acts were announced but i loooved seeing them live, their concert was so much fun, i had a lot on my mind that day but as soon as they started playing my worries were gone like, music is everything really.

The venue's capacity is for 18k people, but i guess there were about 12k there? I'm not sure but, the chairs around me were half empty (a lot of people moved to closer seats), the floor was full but the stands not so much yk. It makes sense when you think it was on a wednesday and a lot of people couldn't make it.

As I went alone to this one and there weren't many people around me it was like me and louis and just letting out all of my emotions. Idk if it happens to anyone else, but I get a lot more emotional when I'm alone at shows. I don't even have much to say here cause I was really there in the moment giving my all, screaming my lungs out to hoth and feeling all this time deep in my soul (the drama lmao).

SÃO PAULO I was really tired after barely a day of rest at home, then packing another bag to curitiba, it was hectic, but thank god i had stands tickets again and my friends got there ealier and saved a seat for me.

Not to paraphrase harry but, that show was loud, loud and LOUD. Seriously, I've never seen so many people scream and jump for an opening act?? I was actually kinda shocked at how full the stadium was, its full capacity is 60k but as they were using only half the space i guess there were about 25k-30k people, it was really packed. Like, that video from outside the stadium that you can hear the screams is kinda crazy if you think it wasn't at full capacity.

This concert left me so proud of him, of how far he has come, like he said with no radio support or anything, seeing him in my favorite venue in my city with so many people screaming for him was something really special. This one was really about US, the fans and louis, i can't say it enough but the crowd was like part of the show too. Also, the big stage, the catwalk, the fireworks, those things made it all so much bigger, like a celebration for where he is now. I'll never forget his face impressed by the crowd like every five seconds, he deserves it all, i love this man to death.

His only wrongs that day tho were wearing that ugly outfit and not singing saturdays on a saturday!!!!

CURITIBA I had slept for like 4 hours, took a flight in the morning and spent the whole day kinda sick and anxious, I really do not know were i took forces to this concert but i did and i gave 200% of myself. I had floor tickets this time so i let myself go and jump around like crazy.

We stayed in the left side of the stage were it was a lot more chill and we could walk around. Most of the time I stayed a bit close to the stage but not so much cause i like having my own space to breath, sometimes I'd get closer to record something. By the encore I found an empty space in the far left of the barricade to see him better during silver tongues.

For me it was the most fun concert, you could see louis was happy, there was a group in front of me dancing and having so much fun together, like he said no one will stand still in a brazilian crowd that's for sure! Also, there was this girl who was talking to us before the concert who found me during the encore and we literally just screamed wdbhg at each other lmao i don't even know her name, but i can't stop thinking about it, it was really funny.

Oh and that outfit!!!! The way i screamed when i saw him in all black, i kept looking at my friends like why the fuck does this man look so good!!! WE WON!!!!

When the barricade moment happened I was only looking at him so I didn't understand what was going on, then by the end my friends said he was with a kid, but only when i got to the apartment we were staying i saw the full context and video, that broke me. He so sweet and precious, it makes everything i did for him so much more worth it than it already was, this plus the donations for Rio Grande do Sul filled my heart with so much love for him.

Also, after the concert we were trying to buy merch, but most sizes were sold out, the line was huge and security was hushing people out of the stadium 🙃 then 10 minutes later we found out louis was playing football at the pitch lmao

Some other points - I absolutely LOVE the stage design, the lights and screens going up and down work so great, it's amazing to witness it live - THE BAND, i don't even need to say anything right? his band is fucking incredible, i live for every single guitar solo from michael - The 2 seconds that takes people to realize that he is singing night changes and wdbhg are the funniest shit istg kskdnkll - People will ask me why I would go to the same concert 3 times, and just istg it IS different, they are all different experiences and i'd do it all over again (which i actually did, cause i saw louis twice and harry 3 times in 2022)

---

Last but not least, i will to speak in portuguese to thank my friends skjndkjsan

Eu sei que ela não vai ler, mas muito obrigada @hiddlestomlinson por aceitar fazer essa maluquice comigo, por vir até SP, ir pra Curitiba e me aturar por 5 dias seguidos, mesmo com tanto cansaço e doença foi tudo maravilhoso 🥹💜

@delicatepointofview de novo, muito obrigada por me ajudar tanto no Rio e pelo ingresso de última hora, mesmo passando por tanta coisa você foi um anjo 🥹 só conseguimos nos ver de longe, desse 🤏 tamanho, mas da proxima vem aí!!

@somuchstrdst e @icouldbeluckyagain amei encontrar e curtir um pouco do show com vocês!! NÓS VENCEMOS MUITO!!! ste, eu ate tava vendo seu recap hoje tomando café da tarde ajksndkjs

#savebylou #i'm sorry i talk too much #fitfwt #louis #my show

[dusty-daydreams]

What bothers me is some people appear to think of Eloise as a "Not Like Other Girls" type of "feminist", which is not how I read her at all. I don't see her as thinking any less of other ladies, she just has nothing in common with them. Which is probably very lonely! And yes, unlike other women out in society, she does have the privilege of a family that will support her in spite of her radical politics, and she has been growing (and needs to do more growing) in her understanding of that privilege. (She can daydream about being a spinster because she can afford to be one.) But I've really liked her arc this season, with her trying to make new female friends even as she struggles to find commonalities.

I totally agree Anon!

Eloise is absolutely not a ‘Not like Other Girls’ woman. Just because she thinks differently than other people around does not make her a ‘Not like Other Girls’ because she (for the most part) doesn’t disparage other women when Francesca says she wants to take a “get it over with” approach to the marriage mart she is supportive. When she finds out that Penelope enjoys society and high society events, she indirectly apologises for acting in away that meant that Penelope couldn’t talk to her about it.

Plus for the most part her frustration is directed at men who view women as inferior, and at sexist systems.

I had hoped that this season would have had her continue to build on her progress last season when she began to realise she is not the first person to have these ideas, and in fact there is a brewing grass roots movement going on. That storyline could have continued without her visiting the radicals, by showing her reading things or talking to Benedict about the rights of the working classes or trying to discuss aspects of her feminism with Cressida. Like seriously I think queen bitch Cressida would be all for certain feminist ideals at the time like changing laws surrounding property ownership, and inheritance.

However I wish the show would have her family be more emotionally supportive towards her, like she has a comparatively very good home life, but it feels like most of her siblings treat her and her politics as a bit of a joke.

Which leads me to my other point, I don’t think the show actually knows what to do with Eloise and her feminism and they too often treat it like a joke. The show has become so unrooted from historical realities that the misogyny in the setting is extremely vague and changes to suit the plot, which makes having a character that is coherently fighting against that misogyny impossible.

Like Eloise went from arguing that women should be allowed to be admitted to university in season 1 when things were (a little bit) more historically grounded, to very vaguely saying that Women would have so much more time on their hands if they didn’t have to think about marriage all the time.

The devolution in the show is clear, in season 1, the alternate history was the removing of (certain types of) racism from admits English nobility and gentry, but the misogyny of 1813 was alive and well, women needed to marry because that was where her value and security was, women didn’t have alternatives to marriage for economic security. Now in 1815 and with the fantasy of the show taking over - women need to marry because what - that’s what she is supposed to do, and that social pressure is bad - but it’s not a true systemic problem?

Basically the show has lost any historical grounding it could have claimed to had, and as such Eloise’s feminism is just as vague as the misogyny she is fighting against. Which means that the show inevitably plays Eloise being a character in a Romance show that disdains romance a joke and not an interesting facet of her character the way it was shaping up to be in season 2

That said I did enjoy an Eloise cut off from a Penelope that pretended to care and agree with her politics, trying to make new friends, and trying to honestly engage in their interests.

#Bridgerton #anti bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #asks

[thunderboltage]

#kinda depressing going back down memory lane and seeing all of my old friends delete their blogs #along with all of the gifs and art i used to make and have fun being a dork #i actually had...friends? people who enjoyed talking to me #but i know its mainly my fault since i gave no warning and deleted my blog first #bit of a bummer but kind of necessary #it was just so much fun - our fandoms were small but we all liked each other for the most part and it didnt feel so..competitive nor forced #i know its a different era here on tumblr but i hope the RP/Ask blogs would make a resurgence #along with more people just learning how to just CHILL OUT and not take things so seriously #anyways i feel like hunting down all of my old stuff and reblogging it for the good ol days aaaaaaa #and maybe reach out to mend frayed connections?? hopefully.. #ami sez

[sluckythewizard]

BUT IM NOT A WRITER. something strange possessed me to write my first proper fanfic in maybe a decade. be niceys to me but also grill me so i can get stronger. this one is a stupidly self indulgent bit between Soda and Emizel, a day or so after emizel was sired. CW for gore descriptions, but thats about it i think. image below is a snippet of the start. the rest of the whole dang thing will be under the cut. ive never posted fanfic ever in my life. read my tags for secret behind da scenes commentary

"Oh shit… I think hes dead…" It was another night, another patrol, another fight, and another win, for Emizel and Soda.

Under moonlight, under street light, under interwoven wires above, the two stood here in a quiet and damp alleyway. The air was drenched with the smell of a previous rain, and the puddles of said storm remain huddled in corners and pot holes.

One splashed as soda found himself stepping forwards into one. The residual adrenaline of the fight had left his body shaking, his heart still pounding, his wounds still throbbing. They had still won; or more-so, Emizel had won. A particularly nasty blow to the side had Soda reduced to the side lines for most of the fight, left to watch as his newly vampiric comrade had absolutely eviscerated the competition.

Emizel had only been turned a day ago, but it was impossible not to notice how it had changed him. He already acted so goddamn confident, so on top of the world, and this newfound power, newfound speed and strength, only built upon his insane ego.

The Fangs that they encountered here on this night stood no fucking chance. Emizel was too quick, too strong, and he easily chased off the rivals. It was only now, as the final unfortunate opponent had turned to flee, a clean clock in the jaw sent the human tumbling to the ground with a dull thump, and it did not move afterward.

Soda shifts his shoe out of the puddle, the cold seeping into his sock being one of the few things keeping his mind in his body in the moment. Is the guy breathing?

A low laugh bleeds from Emizel as he stretches his arms, licking his sharpened teeth as he stares off in the direction the remaining Fangs went. Soda knew that look on his face, the look of a tiger pondering on its next kill, he knew well that Emizel wanted to chase them.

But the guy on the ground.. It was one punch to the face, and the wicked crack sound that came from it had planted a seeding dread within Sodas chest.

As he steps forward, around the puddle, the resulting sound made Emizels attention click back over to Soda, the snap of his gaze making Soda flinch.

The two lock eyes, and Soda weakly gestures to the limp body on the floor. "The uh.. I think.. Is that guy dead?" He finally asks, having a hard time keeping contact with Emizels intensely red eyes.

Emizel turns his attention to said body, tilting his head as he goes to kick at the thing, turning it over. "Man no way hes dead, I punched him once." He mutters.

"Well, yeah, but his head almost twisted all the way around when you did.." Soda steps up to stand beside Emizel, the two boys standing with their hands in their pockets, down at this unfortunate, limp body.

"Should we hide it?" Soda asks, glancing back over at Emizel, who had.. An odd look on his face. He was clearly pondering something, but Soda could only guess whatever was going on in that brilliant head of his. He knew and trusted that Emizel was smart. If anyone could figure out what to do about this, it would be him.

But the lack of an answer had anxiety chewing at the back of Sodas rib cage, and after a second, he speaks up again, compelled to fill what he perceived as a tense silence. "Like.. I dunno, I've never uh... killed a guy..." He shrugs, prompting Emizel to let out a big sigh.

"He's not dead man, just out fuckin cold." Emizel kneels down next to the body, putting an ear up to its chest, and pondering on that for a moment. An uncertainty twists his expression, as he decides to instead place a hand on the victims throat, checking for a pulse. A moment passes, and seemingly finding nothing, he pulls back.

"Uh... Okay, so he might be dead."

Something about the confirmation from Emizel made a shiver run up Sodas spine. That, or maybe it was just the breeze agitating the cold water in his shoe.

"Huh… Damn.." Was all that Soda could really get to leave his mouth. Which was hardly a splash compared to the torrent that was slowly churning in his head. They just killed a guy. Or, Emizel just killed a guy. And it was so easy. They had to hide the body now, right? That was the usual progression here? Getting caught for murder was way more extreme than getting caught for breaking mailboxes with soda cans. It was so, so disturbingly easy. It really was just one punch. It's not like the Fangs are weak by any means, so just one punch? And this guy is dead? Forever?

Or, perhaps by human means, their rivals were fairly tough. But Emizel was on a whole other level. No mortal could stand up to him now...

"Hey, are you okay?"

The question had pulled Soda back from his head, his gaze flicking back over to Emizel, who was looking up at him with those eerie, piercing red eyes. Soda felt another shiver.

"Uh, ieah man, I'm all good." Soda nods, swallowing down whatever anxiety was bubbling up in his throat.

But Emizel didn't seem satisfied by his answer, standing back up and staring down his human comrade. Soda couldn't meet his eyes, his gaze instead traveling downward, and pausing on Emizels red, cut-up shirt. There was something off about the color, the way it seemed darker in some spots, brighter in others.. Wait, wasn't Emizel wearing a white shirt before all this?

The vampire boy seems to pick up on Sodas expression, following his eyes down to his shirt. "Oh, yeah! While you were on the floor, the knife guy got me a little" He says, a stupidly simple smile on his face. Soda was about to let out a laugh at how unbothered his friend seemed by it, but it gets caught in his throat when Emizel goes to pull his shirt up.

The sound of the bloodied fabric peeling away from skin made Sodas own skin crawl, but that wasn't nearly as bad as the sight of the intense gash running from his collar bone, down to his stomach.

"Oh, fuck dude!" Soda gasps, but Emizel laughs it off. Even despite knowing Emizel well, Soda was still surprised by just how much Emizel could shrug off. "Shit, doesn't that hurt, dude?"

"Oh yeah this fucking hurts!" he says with a laugh, his smile big and toothy and proud as he presents this egregious wound. Swollen and angry, pulsing with a slow heartbeat, and still oozing with thick, dark blood.

The sight of the split flesh, and the glints of bone beneath the dark, dark red all tugged at Sodas gag reflex, and yet he couldn't pull his eyes away. So Emizel's just been walking and talking so normally this whole time with his chest just cleaved wide open? Soda felt just as impressed as he felt horrified.

It wasn't until Emizel reaches down to poke at the abhorrent wound that Soda snaps out of it. Watching his friend press his fingers into the bloodied flesh, and slowly pulling it apart, allowing more ichor to seep from the gash, it was too much to watch at this point.

Soda reaches up to put a hand on Emizels wrist, the vampire boy stopping, and looking up at his friend.

Soda found himself freezing again when he locks eyes with Emizel. He was going to say something now, right? "U-uhm.." Is all he really chokes out, giving Emizels wrist a gentle tug. "D-do you. Uh. I suppose a hospital Isn't a place you can go anymore..?"

Emizel just smirks at that, letting Soda pull his hand away from the wound. "Oh, yeah no, but it's fine. I mean, I don't think it's gonna kill me" He shrugs. It was so, so impressive just how unphased Emizel was by all this. Fuck he's actually so cool.

"Well yeah man but it's like, still a bleeding hole. Like you're soaked in blood dude, I'm pretty sure that even a vampire needs that stuff on like, the inside." Soda rubs the back of his head, still unnerved by the sight of it all. "Vampires have like, super healing, don't they?"

"Oh yeah like, regeneration powers. I know I heal faster sometimes but I dunno how to just, activate it on command.." Emizel hums, his eyes narrowing down at his own injury, as if trying to will it into mending. Soda looks away, unable to watch that vile gash ooze any longer.

"I dunno man, how do they do it in like, video games?" Soda tosses the question out, trying to click together some sort of solution in his own head.

"Uhhh.. Huh, video games.." Emizel repeats to himself, chewing on the thought while idly poking at the laceration; until an idea audibly flickers to life in his head. "Oh, I just gotta refill my blood meter. Or whatever."

"Oooh yeah, blood meter!" Soda perks up, "Of course, see this is why you're the brains, man" Soda smiles, glancing back over to his cool friend, but immediately needing to look away again when the sight of that egregious gash tugs bile back into his throat.

While Soda averts his eyes, Emizels eyes wander back over to the body, and that classic 'Emizel has a bad idea' smile creeps across his face.

"Well, if this guys dead, I'm sure he's not gonna need all that blood.." He grins, kneeling down next to the body again.

The word 'wait' had hardly gotten the chance to crawl from Sodas mouth, before Emizel lifts up the arm of the unfortunate body, pulling the sleeve back, and immediately sinking his teeth into the exposed wrist.

The sound and the sight of blood gushing around Emizels teeth made Soda cringe, his hand impulsively coming up to aide his own wrist. An empathetic phantom pain made his wrist ache, his imagination simulating the feeling of shark teeth cutting into skin, sinking deep into the flesh, and clacking against bone. That was a lot of blood, that was streaming down the arm of this fodder.

A low growl bleeds from Emizel as he adjusts his teeth, cutting into more flesh, opening the wound further, and allowing a pulsing torrent of red to stream down his chin, onto his coat. It was an annoying thing, to clean blood out of clothing. Most of the Demons deemed it easier to just let the stains remain. But the night that Emizels throat was torn open, and liters upon liters were granted freedom from his human form, the unbelievable mess had practically changed half the color of Emizels iconic coat.

That was the first time Soda had ever seen that much blood from one person. And well. This would probably be the second.

The sight was unnerving, but it was impossible to look away. The alley was quiet, save for the distant bustle of a distant city, which made the noisy squish and squelch of teeth gnawing on flesh all the more apparent and nauseating.

Emizel had become a monster for sure, and watching it feed on something was… thrilling, in a way. It reminded Soda of feeding a pet spider, or lizard. A mouse for a snake.

It's a heavy thing to witness, the end of a human life. The fear of death is a primal thing, and Soda was no different from any other living thing. He figured everyone else feared death just as much as he does. Well, maybe except for Emizel, of course.

It made sense. Emizel was such a cocky and noisy kind of guy, but hes always had the power to back it up. Even when he lost, or seemed at his lowest, Soda still saw this sort of fire in him, one that Soda admired.

Of course Emizel would be the one to become something like a vampire. Something that Soda had always figured was just a fantasy creature thing. He wondered; if vampires were real, what else was real? Werewolves? Zombies? Unicorns? Are there real demons? Like from hell? Is hell real? Is he going to hell?

The sudden ttteeeeaaaaarrrr of flesh rips soda from his wandering thoughts. Emizel was tugging his head away from the arm of his kill, his teeth clamped down into the chewed meat, and pulling it apart. Soda had seldom seen so much of the inside of a human arm, and the sight of spilling threads and squirming veins was hardly something he ever wanted to stomach again.

"Oh fuck, dude, hey-" Soda steps forward, raising a hand, but the way Emizel snaps his head back over to him, twisting to an unnatural degree, Soda cant help jolting back.

Reddened teeth glint menacingly in the low light, a threatening growl thundering from its clenched, dripping jaws. Emizels eyes were focused, yet wild, glowing with whatever light they could reflect.

Sodas eyes were wide, and his body was frozen in the thick, electric tension within the air. It was like staring down an angry dog.. Suddenly a light bulb in his head flickers to life. It was kind of like an angry dog, right? One hunched over a meal it didn't want to give up. Memories of old encounters and unfortunate dog bites resurface in Sodas head, and with that experience, and with those lessons learned, he gathers the courage to react.

He shuts his eyes, keeping them closed for a few seconds, as he slowly pulls back his arm, and slowly steps back. It was an eye contact thing, wasn't it? Eye contact makes dogs angry, right? That was how you dealt with an angry dog? As he pulls back, and takes in a breath for composure, he finally dares to peek at the angry vampire before him again.

Its snarling had died down, but its eyes were still trained intently on Soda. After a tense, and agonizingly, slow pause... It blinks back, lowering its head back down to its meal, but keeping its anxious stare on this potential threat.

A relieved sigh falls from soda as the tension finally melts. He didnt realize he was holding in so much of his breath. "O-okay, man.. It's yours, you uh.. Earned it.." Soda mutters, stepping back further, until he was standing in a sufficiently dry enough space to sit down in. Now that he wasn't standing, he was finally taking into mind just how much his hands were shaking.

It's odd. Soda couldn't really describe this feeling thrumming in his chest as something like fear.. Nausea? For sure. Disturbed and rattled? Oh absolutely. This was certainly a sight he would have a hard time scrubbing from his eyelids when he sleeps tonight. But he wasn't scared. The memory of the night that Emizel was sired still coated the inside of his mind like an unwashable film. Even in that moment, when the unnatural teeth from the unnatural maw of an unnatural thing hovered over his throat, he couldn't say with confidence that he was scared.

Emizel really is his best friend in the world. And he knows with his whole heart that Emizel feels the same. He knew and trusted that his best friend would never hurt him. Not too badly at least. He loves Emizel, and would give anything to support him.

Like a mouse to a snake.

This really is an incredible power that his comrade had come across, and Soda especially felt a sort of pride in his friend. He felt it was worth it to help him feed it.

The bile in his throat had made its point, and Soda agreed, that watching someone die, and get torn apart and drained might be too much for him. Despite how much he hated the Fangs, the end of any human life seemed like such a jarring thing. To have such an intense fear finally get confronted. Would he go to hell?

Maybe he couldn't just feed people to his friend. So an alternative could be donated blood, right? Soda wouldn't mind giving up something like blood. His body makes it for free, after all. Maybe some other Demons would agree to give up some blood too. But they shouldn't have to take on such a burden. Soda wouldn't mind being the only one. The only one. The only one.

His hand comes up to rub at his neck, as his imagination conjures up what it might feel like to have teeth sink into his flesh. He's been stabbed before, is that sort of what it would feel like? Would he have to get stitches? He didn't really want to get stitches, so maybe there could be a more effective way to get the blood out of him. And there was so much vital stuff in his neck too. There's' a vein that's safe to cut into somewhere, right? He would have to look that up later.

A STARTLING RINGING;

Splits the moment,

Prompting both Soda and Emizel to jolt in shock,

As the phone in Emizels pocket rings away.

Acting as if nothing abnormal had taken place, Emizel pulls out his phone, and answers it.

"Heyy, Johnny! Yeah we chased em off, I don't think those bastards will be infesting this street again anytime soon. Yeah, ieah we'll be heading back soon. Oh fuck yeah dude, save us some!"

Emizel covers the speaker of his Nokia, turning back to Soda with a big smile on his violently bloodied face. "They got some pizza waiting for us back home, dude!" he whispers out to him.

Soda does his best to crack a smile, and to suppress the look of unease that probably stained his face, as he stares at the literal murder scene that's been splattered about in front of him.

"Oh, yeah, hell yeah man.." He swallows down the bile again. "What kind of uh.. Soda did they get?"

Emizel ponders that, before turning back to the phone to ask Sodas question.

"Sprite and a big pack of that one strawberry mountain dew" Emizel tosses the answer back over to Soda, who gives a nod, and thumbs up.

Mountain dew is so neat, Soda really liked all the wacky flavors those guys come up with. The thought of going home and opening a can of soda was certainly a comfort. After witnessing all this blood and gore and viscera, Soda absolutely needed to get back home and get a nice cold glass of something bright red .

As Sodas mind wanders off to soda, Emizel wraps up the conversation on the phone, before hanging up, and standing up.

The movement had pulled Sodas mind back into the moment, enough for him to timidly voice a concern he's had since the start of this debacle.

"Uh, hey, so.. The body, should we… Uh.." He gestures vaguely to it, and Emizel grants it a nonchalant glance.

"Eh, I can toss it into a dumpster or something, I dunno. I'm sure its fine. I'll handle it."

The vampire boy goes to pick up the corpse, the wound in its mangled arm no longer even dripping with blood, the flesh pale from the absolute absence of red in its veins.

"Go ahead and meet me by that one mailbox, the one with the bullet hole in it." Emizel casually instructs, tossing the drained body over his shoulder. "I'll catch up."

"Uh, yeah, okay.." Soda musters up a nod, and the strength to rise back up to his feet, wincing as that bruise on his side makes itself loudly known again. He still felt anxious, but even despite it all, he knew he could trust Emizel to take care of things. He always does. "Just stay safe man, I'll see you there." Soda assures with a smile, and Emizel matches it, tossing him a wink. And then suddenly- -He's gone! If Soda had blinked he would've missed it, but he was fortunate enough to just barely catch the glimpse of Emizel darting off at an inhuman speed, probably looking for a place to dump the body. Right, he would take care of it. Emizel always makes sure his crew is taken care of. Well... Guess all that's left for Soda is for him to walk back to that meeting spot. He looks around the alley for a moment, taking in the sight of that enormous pool of blood in the middle of the concrete. Or whatever the floor of this alley is made from. He ponders on the present moment a little longer than he meant to, the shock of it all leaving him aimless for just a few, soothing moments of just, decompression. The night is quiet, vast, and cold, but the stresses of just the past 5 hours had left his body radiating with fiery aches and pains, so the chill of the occasional clawing breeze was welcomed. Except for when said breeze agitated the cold water still soaked into his sock. He should step in another puddle on his way back to even it out. The smell of rain still rested heavy in the air, heralding another storm on the horizon. There was that, and then, well, there was also the blood. The stench of it felt far too intense to just ignore it, the metallic miasma making itself maliciously unmistakable. Maybe the impending storm will wash this mess away... He looked forward to putting this unfortunate night behind him. With one last rattled, but deep breath, he stuffs his hands in his pockets, and turns away, strolling back over to the mailbox that Emizel had described.

He couldn't wait to get home and drink some soda with his friends.

#NO TAGS ON THIS ONE BC WELL. IM SHY. IM TAKING A BIG LEAP JUST BY ALLOWING U TO REBLOG THIS. IF IT BREAKS CONTAINMENT THATS UR FAULT. #i unfortunately suffer from the disease of 'i hate everything i write the day after i write it' BUT IM GETTING TREATED #I WILL NOT BE HAUNTED BY THIS WEAKNESS FOREVER. AND HEY LOOK THIS IS THE FIRST ACTUAL FIC BIT IVE EVER FINISHED.. #ITS SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF!! AND BY JOBE I WILL BE PROUD EVEN IF I HATE IT. #i dont always need to be the one who likes my art bc i know Someone out there will always enjoy it. #and to that someone i say: omg thankyou i LOOOOVEE YOUUUUUU!!!!! #JUST DELETED A WHOLE RAMBLE I JUST HAD ABT NERVOUS DISCLAIMERS FOR MY ART BUT I DONT NEED EM!! #GET CONFIDENT GET CONFIDENT GET CONFIDENT. ANYWAY. so emizel and soda huh #THEYRE SO CUTE TOGEEHTERRRR TEEHEHEHEHEEEE they are the homies that kiss eachother goodnight like CMON #but uhh so hey your bestest friend in da world just got turned into a freaky creature thing that eats ppl #ieah yknowthe guy that u care about alot that u had to watch get bled out by another freaky creature thing in an alleyway #yeaaah and you were super hurt and weak and stupid and u couldnt do jack nor shit to help him #what was i talking about again. RIGHT so hes even cooler now bc he cant die n hes super strong n his arms can be knives. sometimes. #but also he can eat people now. and sometimes he cant stop himself from eating people. and thats kinda scary. but in a cool way. #but also in a disturbing way. but also in an interesting way?but also in a freaky way.the feelings ARE MIXED!!!ATLEAST I THINK THEY WOULD B #okay again i havnt listened to the suckening ina bit. so its been a minute since i absorbed their personalities. i could be misreading or #misremembering or misconstruing or mischaracterizing or WHATEVER. i think the confusion carries its intended effect #LOSING MY TRAIN O THOUGHT. anyway i love soda n emizel i hope they get locked in a saw trap together or somethign. for enrichment. #TALOS GRANT ME THE STRENGHT TO POST MY CREATIONS ON LINE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHH!!!!!!!

[chloeseyeliner]

what the fuck??!

why is uni filled with so much drama?

i just want to study, work, exercise, figure out how to handle my finances and what to eat, sleep, write fanfiction that's never going to see the light of day, walk with nature surrounding me, be grumpy inside because the bus is over-crowded, take part in research, repeat.

why?

i can't do this.

i really hate drama. i have never been involved in it. ANY TIPS? 🤡🤦🏻‍♀️

#don't mind me #was just about to sleep because i have to run errands tomorrow #and this girl i posted about two weeks ago who i hanged out with today just. #seems to hate me??? for some reason #and i hate it #like i said before #i know when i fuck up #and i actually consider myself a quite mature persob #and she seems to genuinely enjoy herself today #and she laughed at my jokes and all that #so i thought we were friends again #and then i come home and i do some work #only to find a message from her an hour later #saying to not make fun of her #and now she is posting weird stuff on instagram??? #what is happening #what is this #can't she just... talk to me? if any of this concerns me? #i am sorry #i am not playing the victim i just have been rejected by friends quite a few times because i was too quiet #and now that i finally talked and had feeling conversations (regarding her feelings i mean) and thought we were okay #someone is about to reject me again? #god. #my best friend still loves me so that's- quite selfishly- validating #and my other friend who is friends with this girl likes me too #and they are wonderful people #anyway #vent post #seriously don't mind me #i just cannot stop thinking

[dykeinthedark]

venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)

#okay so i got a really masc haircut about a month ago and i know it's just a haircut but holy shit has it changed EVERYTHING for me #like.... i've always leaned masc except 1) before i came out 2) when i was actively in love with someone who i knew liked femmes #and they always described me as a fem. because that's what i showed her. because i wanted to be with her. #but lowkey whenever i'm in a not-impressing-anyone raw-dogging-life-no-crush era i always resort to a very masc style #like masc being my default and i'd only lean fem to impress people whether it's for love or peer pressure in a specific setting #like ''dressing up'' has always been a form of drag to me. like something i HAD to do to fit in or impress my parents (scott favor core) #but ever since this haircut i've realized... i could just BE masc innately like i really don't have to be womanly if i don't want to #which i usually don't. again i have only ever dressed fem for other people. but it's not even being masc that attracts me on its own #it's like. being masc in a distinctly lesbian way. as in whenever i look in the mirror i don't wanna be like a Guy i wanna be a dyke. #like lesbian as a gender identity too sort of thing honestly. okay i've been waffling but basically i sort of want to call myself butch #but i don't know if i like... can?? if i'm allowed to??? #everyone always says it's MORE than just wearing boy clothes and not wearing makeup and having short hair (which i already do all those) #i mean i've always id'd as genderqueer because it literally just means gender weird and i experience gender in a queer way #what's probably the most telling is that my friends (all queer) CALL me a butch lesbian #like every time they do i feel really internally validated. it's not just my clothes but my personality too ig is what people tell me #i have a higher pitched voice relatively speaking but apparently the way i talk is quote ''very clockably into women'' #which?? gender euphoria asf. my best friend specifically he (gay trans guy) always uses butch to describe me very intuitively #people have also noticed that i ''transitioned'' in all aspects except hormonally. like ppl have commented and noticed my masculinzation #but at the same time i always feel rly haunted by my ex relationships because one wanted me to be more masc #(she's the one who came out as straight and would treat me like a man) which i didn't like and i didn't like playing up being fem either #bc now it feels like she (butch) won't believe me if i called myself butch too bc she remembers me being femme #idk i feel like there's her voice in my head all the time that sees everything i do through her eyes (i'm lowkey still in love) #i feel like even though this comes so naturally to me i must be putting on a performance #even though i've actually read stone butch blues and done research into the history and i truly love and id with the culture like i rly do #that im still just a sad imitation of a butch lesbian and can never really be a part of it because i used to enjoy dressing up sometimes #like it's so stupid but can i still be butch if i wore a dress to prom and i think i looked good in it?? #even though i was envious of my friends who wore suits?? that i used to try goth makeup?? that i liked long dresses?? #that i enjoyed stacked necklaces and rings on every finger??? #and tbh ALL OF THAT CAME FROM A CONCIOUS EFFORT TO FEMINIZE MYSELF IN JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL WHEN I WAS 16 #because omfg it was 2 months before junior prom and i was worried that i was too masc and wanted to get comfortable with being fem

[derpinette]

english used to be the normie filter & how you could tell someone was a Trve Internethead but after the DAMNED 2020 quarantine for obvious reasons EveryBody & They Momma is acceptably fluent so now i have to learn swedish or something. -_-

#already been spending time this past year & a half i only need someone to actually speak it with IRL for maximum efficiency #technically i want to say 2019 people were already turning to english at least in my city. 7 year old me would be so happy but #ARRRRRRGHHHHHHH #YOU ARE POSERS I HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON WITH YOU & I NEVER WILL. has me feeling so ♯DECEIVED #native english speakers will probably never understand this feel #speaking english now is just as cringe as i thought being francophone was a decade ago Yes even as a child i was against normies #i was forcibly taught.by my millennial older brother i had no choice but to abide by that line of thought & so here i am today #well he was right. not anymore he ain't but he used to be #but technically you can say this new wave of self taught anglophones are going against the current & remnants of colonialism so well #it is a good thing objectively i just miss the ease of recognizing Real back in the day TT_TT like you just KNEW they shared your interests #& weirdness they knew your references it said something about what their social status likely was too ETC ETC. But not anymore... #i enjoyed it tho i had a bestfriend whom i mostly spoke english with & we were known for it we were outcasts #i distinctly remember this fag who got so mad at us & harassed us for it during middle school recess. like fluency was a bad thing #we were not even gossiping about him Altho we should have been. & that was the best part is that it was a barrier #so you could talk about anything out loud & nobody would be able to understand you & at the time it was just us & our older siblings #+their friends

[vegaseatsass]

I'm so exhausted I don't really know where or how to begin my one-day weekend, have spent the day just kind of collapsed into executive dysfunctional confusion when what I WANT to do is post on tumblr about gay tv

#i wanna talk about 23.5 because the latest ep made me feral but for like side couples #i LOVE the main couples but nidabambam and mawinton make me insane #i was rooting for aro ton but now i want mawinton so badly #there's something that happens with the ships that aren't the advertised pairs so whether they happen or not isn't prescribed #i know mawintinh is what everyone on tumblr wants and it's not like i would be unhappy with that ok #but mawinton both obsessed with other people and relationships and oblivious to how they already have a boyf - #thats my shit. #tinh just seems so uninterested in mawin rn too whereas ton is laser focused #and to put a character like charoen into a yuri like come on how many of us who DIDN'T 'just know' we were not into boys #picked a dude to crush on from afar and then went EUGH STOP WHY IS THIS HAPPENING if/when he actually spoke to us #that is way too familiar a narrative to put in a GL and then resolve with her getting with a guy i'm sorry #but her and ton becoming besties who love shipping OTHER people together. hell yes lmfao #that's what i'm talking about! two people who think they like each other but actually just enjoy doing fandom together <3 #buddhism fandom and friend fiction fandom #anyway i can't believe i spent that many words on them but i'm truly invested now. FLOWERS AND KNEE TOUCHES FOR MAWINTON #and i don't even know where to begin with nidabambam?????????????????? #i thought this would be us projecting headcanon onto some women who had some nice scenes together #i didn't dare hope for ?????? lucky/unlucky protective/clumsy glorious t4t grown woman love story #what the heck i felt like my brain was unravelling as i watched them #they really stumbled(/carefully protected the other from stumbling) their way into a STARGAZE DATE #what the heck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i think something magical just happens when you hit a certain point in a story and you've LET the main couples grow and evolve #so they're more or less together and it's hilarious and adorable (oh my god ongsa and aylin taking initiative oh my god) #but they also leave narrative space for MORE LOVE STORIES IN THE BEAUTIFUL ENSEMBLE #and that's where i start to lose control apparently #23.5 #23point5 #dear diary

[stupidusernamerequest-blog]

How I accidentally weaponised eye contact

When I was younger, in my teens, I started getting really bothered when making eye contact with people.

The thing that upset me was that the other persons eyes would constantly be moving left and right between my eyes. The thought that their eyes were constantly moving and that MY EYES might be doing the same thing really made my brain feel bad.

Image description: a picture from the movie Moana where Tamatoa is holding Moana in his claw and the subtitle says "Just pick an eye, babe."

So this, I assume, completely normal eye movement while making eye contact was STRESSING ME the FUCK out. So my solution was not to avoid eye contact. Oh no. My solution, which made perfect sense, was to just pick one of the speakers eyes to focus on. For the entire conversation. No eye movement happening on MY side buddy!

What this results in, of course, is someone staring at you without making any eye movements (besides blinking) until something breaks their field of view. *staring intensifies*

NOBODY has ever realised what I am doing but EVERYBODY feels slightly wrong about the level of eye contact I am maintaining. Neurotypical people in particular get very antsy when talking directly to me. They will be the ones that are often looking away and breaking eye contact. Not me though. I am now an eye contact making champion!!

Me to myself: I am making good eye contact. I am going to get a good grade in making eye contact which is something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

I have pointed it out to my mum, once, when she knew something wasn't quite right and was getting bothered. She was VERY disturbed and immediately told me to stop it lol.

So now everyone can experience uncomfortable eye contact, not just neurodivergent people. Do with this what you will :D

#hmmmmm upon thinking about this I think the only people this disturbs are the neurotypicals?? #Making eye contact during conversation isn't necessary for me (who would have guessed!) #so I don't actually notice if people don't make eye contact with me when they are talking #I DO notice when they ARE making eye contact and that is when I engage my staring at one eyeball trick #sometimes I think I have too much power as I will be noticed by speakers in a group as the one paying such excellent attention #I am just listening to you speaking please don't engage me for question time sir/madam #getting my sons diagnosed with autism sure was fun when they asked if they make eye contact when talking to others #and I had to admit that I didn't actually know as it isn't something I'm aware of..... #just thought some ND friends out there might enjoy this tactic of turning the “socially acceptable” eye contact into a weapon against NTs