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glitch-karma · 8 months

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Can I request another part of your "forgetful reader" headcanons you did but with Jouno, Fyodor, and Ranpo? Nikolai too if that's not too many characters, but dont worry about him if it is. Same prompt but with these characters

I was actually just thinking about my forgetful reader hc's the other day, Idk if other writers do this but I always go back and read my older stuff lmao

So here's part two, I had a bit of trouble figuring out what Nikolai would give his partner as a gift, so that isn't specified, I did add Chuuya and Sigma though

Cw: Degradation/name calling in Jouno's, Slightly spicy in Fyodor's, Kinda OOC Fyodor

Jouno

Low-key high-key an asshole

Don't get me wrong I'm in love with him,

But his love language is degradation (hot)

Jouno constantly is making fun of and being rude about how forgetful you are

If it seriously bothers you, he'll try his best to lay off as much as possible

Only because it's you though

He does get very irritated though

He got you a lovely set of earrings that resembled his a bit

They were honestly very nice and semi-expensive

You had always kept them in a tiny jewelry box on your nightstand

But after a rough day of trying to catch terrorists, you'd clumsily taken them off and fallen asleep

When you were getting ready for work the next morning, you realized they'd gone missing

In a panic, you tore apart your apparent in search of them

After a while, you heard a voice that made you wanna puke

"What's up with you huh? Why's my little troublemaker so frantic?"

Oh my lord no

"What are you talking about.?"

"Oh please, your heartbeat is a dead giveaway. Along with the shakiness in your voice. Can't hide from me y'know."

You shakily sighed as you admitted you'd lost the earrings

"Pft- are you kidding?"

He laughed slightly walking towards you

"How pathetic of you, losing a gift from your precious boyfriend?" He sighs in 'frustration'

"They were expensive too, do you even have a concept of money?" He laughs,

At this point, small drops of tears filled your eyes slowly as he kept poking fun at you

"Honestly how air-headed can you get? Tsk, should I be questioning this relationship?"

After a few seconds of silence, Jouno tensed as he heard your quiet whimpers.

He'd gone too far.

For a second, he didn't really know what to do

He sighed, bending down next to you and wrapping his arm around you.

"'m sorry." He mumbled lightly

You sniffled a bit, you looked up to see the concerned frown on his face, along with the softness that was rare for you to see in him

After a moment you sighed, leaning into his shoulder

"I'll get you a million more pairs if it means I don't have to hear you cry again. Truly."

He really was a good man, he just had some issues showing it.

But in the meantime, he'll let you teach him how to open up

I literally love him so much even if he's a dick head

Fyodor

He kinda just doesn't care-

I don't see him as the type to really mind stuff like that in a partner

But I don't really see him doing anything to help per se

He'll give you light reassurance if you're upset, but I don't see him doing too much more though

Surprisingly, he didn't buy you a country

He got you a necklace that was very clearly expensive, it had a key attached to it that was also made of some metal that did not look cheap, along with the small Diamonds and sapphires lacing the key (Real btw you tested it)

It was extravagantly expensive, and he made sure you knew that was less than you deserved (He couldn't find countries on the market)

Wow what a nice gift

Now where the hell did it go?

You, of course, retraced every step

Your apartment? Cleaned vigorously to search and find it

The cafe by your house? You paid every worker to search for it

The Doa office? A wreck

You were ass up on the floor looking under one of the couches when you heard a whistle behind you

When you tuned you saw the man you were scared to see

"Why might you be in such a comprehensive pose my paradox?"

You shakily sighed as you hit your head on the floor

Fyodor then quickly determined why you were on the floor by the necklace missing from your neck

He chuckled a bit as he walked towards you

He leaned down and picked you up, silencing you as he carried you to a basement you were unaware of

Before you could question, he pulled out the necklace, inserted the key into a large door, opening it to reveal a giant glorious room filled with all your favorite things, comfortable chairs, and a giant kitchen

As he set you down you started freaking out

"It's not quite done yet, I wasn't intending for you to lose it so fast. I'll get some help in here as well."

"You- This was all a plan for me?"

You yelled, running around and looking at everything

He chuckled as he grabbed you, leaning down and kissing your neck

"Жизнь моя,(1) you deserve this and more.."

He then threw you on the couch, hitting a button that shut all the doors and windows

"And tonight, I'll prove it to you."

Let's just say, you had trouble walking for awhile

(1) Жизнь моя, pronounced "Zhizn’ moya", means “my life” in Russian and is usually a term of endearment

Sigma

Oh my lord he is so understanding it's crazy

Although Sigma is the furthest thing from forgetful, his brain and schedule will always have room for stuff you need to remember

Got a doctor's appointment you forgot? He remembers and brings you to it

Forgot where you put something important? He knows where it is

Forgot to eat? He'll make you a meal himself

Forgot to meet up with a client? He'll meet them for you

Honestly, he gives you royalty treatment

He loves just giving you gifts in general, so he custom-made you an obsidian necklace that had a poker chip on it, The obsidian in his words was to represent how strong you are, and the poker chip was to remind you of him

It was one of the most thoughtful gifts ever

And you'd lost it

You debated just asking him at first,

But no. Too embarrassing

You'd worn it every day and now POOF

GONE?!

You didn't wanna worry your already busy partner with this

So you tore apart your half of the room before neatly searching through Sigma's half of the room

3 hours later and nothing.

For a second you debated throwing yourself off the sky casino

But then the click of your bedroom door was heard

"Oh my-"

You slowly looked up to see Sigma's confused face as he looked at your side of the room

For a while, he was silent in thought

"Are you.. redecorating-"

You groaned as you fell the rest of the way down on the floor

"I lost your necklace.. I didn't wanna ask you for help."

Sigma chuckles a bit as you look up at him

"That was actually my mistake"

Before you could ask, he walked over to his dresser and opened a small box, pulling it back out

"You'd accidentally left it in the bathroom"

Wow

The one place you didn't check

Definitely cuddles after though

Nikolai

He would not give zero shit's

He just loves you

He might make fun of you a bit, but he honestly just thinks you're adorable when you lose stuff

He asks Fyodor to buy you new things when you lose them rather than look for them-

He has such admiration and genuine interest in you that he gets you gifts tailored exactly to your interests

If you lose a gift from him, he honestly won't be mad

"Awe my Kindred Spirit,"

He grabs his cloak and reaches in, pulling out something even better

"Here does this make it better!?"

"Nikolai!"

He dances around the room with you to celebrate you being happy again

Ranpo

Oh he teases you, shame on you if you think he wouldn't

He gently teases you though, stopping if he gets even a slight hint it upsets you

Ranpo does have amazing patience though, there has never been a moment your forgetfulness has annoyed or bothered him once

He regularly gives you snacks as gifts, but he gave you a silly little necklace with a duck charm (Yes this is a Wan ref)

It was silly and cheap, but it was sweet

When you lost it you were crushed

You looked for it but could not find it

In the morning you went to the agency to try to search for it, but on your way there you actually met with Ranpo at a sweet store

"Hey there detective darlin'!"

He yelled as he ran out of the store

For internally freaked out a bit as he started excitedly telling you about the sale in the store

You chuckled nervously, making him immediately deduce what happened

"Ohhhhh, I see. You lost the Necklace!"

You kinda expected him to figure it out

He then chuckled as he walked over to a small quarter vending machine and pointed at the prizes

"Ya see! We can just keep playing till we get a new one!"

You two then had a small date of finding quarters and playing the Machine till you had a bag full of prizes, and a new duck necklace of course

Chuuya

Although Chuuya is a very understanding person, I can't deny this wouldn't slightly annoy him

He would never make fun of you for it, or make you feel bad though

He will always express that he's not mad at you and does his best to hide his slight frustration

He does understand though, I mean the man didn't remember the first 8 years of his life for years so

He is a little protective of you though. if anyone gave you shit for forgetting something he would a million percent throw hands

He leaves notes all over the house and your hands about important things, he will also text you to remind you about meals throughout the day

"Have you drank water"

"Ah, fuck-"

"Exactly"

Chuuya loves spending money on you

It's his favorite activity

You already have 20 custom-tailored outfits cause of his love for fashion,

But that doesn't mean he can't get you more tailored accessories

One of them was an anklet that had his and your initials in it, along with diamonds and your favorite stone

It was cute, although it was easily hidden by clothes, you wore it very often

You had on the perfect outfit to show it off that day, but when you opened up the cabinet you kept it in, it was gone.

Oh fuck

Panic ensues

The sheets were torn off your bed, and your closet full of clothes from him was searched from top to bottom

The bathroom was also searched along with Chuuya's half of the room

You sighed as you fixed the house, knowing Chuuya hates messes

You then reluctantly called him

"Hey, still at work but what's up doll?"

The softness in his voice made you tear up a bit in guilt

"Chuuya.. I-"

You took a pause to breathe

"I lost the Anklet you gave me."

You heard him gratefully sigh and shuffle in his chair a bit

"That pause made me think you were in trouble"

He joked a bit

"I can buy 20 more of those if I wanted to Sweetheart."

You sniffled a bit

"But that was important!"

He paused a bit

"Are you crying?"

You then paused

"No.."

"Baby."

You could hear him then walk through the halls of the Port Mafia building

"Give me just one sec, "

You heard him then knock on a door and open it

"Hey boss, I need to head home early. Let me know Tomorrow if there's anything else you need me for"

"Alright, I'm on my way home. We'll search together, okay?"

You sniffled a little as you smiled

"You're the best."

"Anything for you Angel."

#bungo stray dogs #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #chuuya x reader #sigma x reader #fyodor x reader #nikolai x reader #jouno x reader #ranpo x reader #glitchs✧works

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olderthannetfic · 5 months

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A common anti talking point is that "problematic" content is fine as long as it's portrayed in a bad light, and I know this is mostly a way for them to say "porn bad", but, like... if we exclude stupidity, is this even a common issue at all?

I try to think of what they could otherwise mean, because I read a lot of things they'd hate, but even the cutesy stuff has dark undertones, or is clearly done with the reader meant to understand that at least one character involved is a freak. Even with porn, I'm not sure I've seen many that didn't lean into how taboo it is. The closest trend I can think of is age gap romances where the protagonist is 16 and going for someone in their 30s, but even those make sure you're extremely aware of the age difference the entire time since that's the appeal. Or an anime where the siblings are REALLY close and no one comments, but as a viewer I can still clearly pick up that these are codependent freaks.

Is this a me thing? Do I just not see these swarms of insidious positive portrayals and they're actually everywhere? I don't doubt there are bad writers that fumble their stories, and I'm less likely to read those long enough to find out, so is that what they're referring to? Or is it really always just porn is evil?

No, people being dumb as a box of rocks and not grasping that weird internet porn is not a how-to manual is not that common a problem.

However, being traumatized and having zero useful mental health support is.

A lot of anti talking points are coming from a place of toxic coping. mechanisms where someone thinks that if they can just control everything around them The Bad Thing can't happen again, to them or to anyone else.

Blaming the influence of bad fiction is a very common step for people who haven't had enough time or safety to accept that, no, actually, the person they trusted hurt them on purpose because they felt like it, not because Media Made Them Do It.

Or that maybe their dumb teen self handled some situations badly, but it's because teens often do that and/or because no decent adult was around to ask them why they seemed upset, not because it was fiction's job to teach them boundaries. It's a lot easier to blame the concrete experience of reading something that modeled bad behavior than the highly amorphous negative space where good offline role models who paid attention and gave a fuck should have been.

Some people are self-medicating with a rage high. A few are nasty ringleaders trying to power trip. Lots are just scared dumbasses who haven't grasped that it's okay to have dark fantasies.

A lot of it is just people with the hubris to say "Well, I have decent reading comprehension and can spot subtext, but what if all these other people can't?"

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ladyluscinia · 6 months

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What Exactly Did David Jenkins Say?

Look, I'm still staunchly of the opinion that Word of God statements and creator interviews are overvalued in fandom, especially when they get pulled out mostly as gotchas without then continuing to analyze whether or not the show canon is successful at getting across that same message. Death of the Author is good, actually, and we should remember that. But they are worth looking at in the context of evaluating intent vs execution, and for future speculation - just, like, please with less of the whole mile high pedestal idolizing and backlash cycles.

But if overvalued "Word of God" is annoying, then overvalued "supposed creator statements that have gone through three rounds of telephone and any given blogger has only heard about a quarter of them, which they'll use confidently anyway" is worse. So, since I'd already looked up interviews for various reasons...

Here is a fairly comprehensive list of interviews David Jenkins has given and statements he's made during them, presented without commentary (save curating which statements get highlighted). All provided with links. I definitely missed some, so if you have any that you want to add, please do - though if you could trim off any commentary and save it for tags / your own post with a link that would be cool.

Also, again, just because he said it doesn't make it incontrovertible canon that only a blind person wouldn't understand. Some of these even arguably contradict each other. The creator's intent doesn't always translate to what the show is doing, nor do you even have to think it was a good idea.

(Listed in chronological order from oldest to newest - post contains spoilers below the cut)

Pre-S1

Gizmodo - Feb 22, 2022 - with Cheryl Eddy (io9) - Link

Why this story - Really, it was the enigma of Stede that drew him in. "I think actual pirate stuff is fine, but it's not necessarily my cup of tea. And I think Taika [Waititi] felt similarly. But hearing about this guy and reading about him and seeing that, you know, he left his family, then he met Blackbeard, they hit it off, and we don't know any of the details in between. So filling those blanks in, and having a very human story, and then being able to do it with the pirate genre, that was like, 'Oh, this would be cool.'"

Post 1x01 - 1x03

Polygon - March 5, 2022 - with Tasha Robinson - Link

David Jenkins, Taika Waititi, and Rhys Darby interview

About Stede running off to sea - "Stede thought he could outrun his baggage, and you can't outrun your baggage."

About S1 - "I don't think there was enough improv on set! We had an insane schedule, with a huge amount of plot. We were budgeted and designed as a one-hour show, but with a half-hour production schedule, which means we really had to chase these episodes to get them shot. And then there are certain emotional beats that we really needed. So trying to find places to find the fun was hard."

Mashable - Mar 5, 2022 - with Belen Edwards - Link

About the show concept - "It was Jenkins' wife who first told him about Stede's adventures; she thought it would make a good TV show."

On casting Rhys Darby - "Stede did a terrible thing to his family. If you cast it wrong, he's a very hard character to get behind," Jenkins said. "Very quickly, the only person I thought of for this was Rhys [Darby]. He has this childlike quality that's endearing."

About the story - "Seeing them discover a need for each other that neither anticipated and charting how that relationship goes is the meat of the story." + "If you're on this ship, you're running from something, and you're running to something that you can't be on land"

Mentions of matelotage - "In fact, one of Jenkins's favorite pirate facts that he learned while working on Our Flag Means Death was the term matelotage, which was a civil union between same-sex pirates. "The more you look at it," he explained, "the more you write to the fact that this is a queer-positive world.""

Discussing piracy careers - "Something else that astounded Jenkins about pirates was "just how fast it all moved — their lives were quite short," he said. "Your career [in piracy] wasn't very long.""

Post 1x09 - 1x10

Decider - Mar 24, 2022 - with Kayla Cobb - Link

David Jenkins, Taika Waititi, and Rhys Darby interview

Pitch for the show - "That was in the pitch," series creator David Jenkins told Decider. "That was the reason, to make them fall in love with each other."

About the romance - "The main thing to me was to side-step coming out," Jenkins continued. "I just want a romance. I want a Titanic romance between these two people. We don't have to do the coming out story and then the non-binary story for Jim [Vico Ortiz]."

About S2 and the show - "The show is the relationship," Jenkins said. "So, we end in a place where there is this breakup. What happens after a breakup between these two people who, one’s realized he's in love and the other one is hurt in a way that he's never been hurt before? What does that do to each of them in an action, pirate world with them trying to find each other again? So again, I really love those rom-com beats."

Collider - Mar 24, 2022 - with Carly Lane - Link

On making it a romcom - "It's the only reason to make the show. If you didn't do that, it would just be weird. I mean, you're using the rom-com beats. You're using these like they're together. And it's funny because so we're so habituated to be like bromance, bromance, bromance, and it's such a simple move to put them together."

Discusses focusing on romance - "I guess I really... I get kind of bored. How much pirate can you do? They're going to rob stuff. They're going to steal ships. There's only so many pirate stories you can do. So if you're going to do a workplace story, I mean, you're essentially having this... You'd have this same amount of relationships in Grey's Anatomy in the ER. So it's standard. It's the most standard. We're making a soap opera on a pirate ship, and to use those soap opera beats... I like it, and I like the flavor in a comedy when you have something that's played genuinely up against very ridiculous things."

Discusses history and kissing scene

Discusses importance of going home to Mary - "Yeah, that was the problem for me in the story. I knew that I wanted to have the end where he goes home, because you need to give Mary her day in court. I just wanted to know from Mary's perspective what happened and then to see that, yeah, they're friends."

Is Lucius dead? - "You got to wait."

EW.com - Mar 25, 2022 - with Devan Coggan - Link

David Jenkins, Taika Waititi, and Rhys Darby interview

Pitch for the show - "To me, [Stede and Blackbeard's relationship] is the reason to make the show," Jenkins explains. "When Taika and I were first talking about it, he was like, 'Oh yeah, that's the show.' I first started reading about Stede and how he befriended Blackbeard and we don't know why. Very quickly, it was like, 'Oh, it's a romance.'"

Polygon - Mar 25, 2022 - with Tasha Robinson - Link

Discusses 3-season intent - "I think three seasons is good. I think we could do it in three."

Discusses acts within S1 - "To me, when you see him get stabbed, and the blood runs through his fingers, it’s like 'Oh, no, the clown got stabbed! And not comedy-stabbed, he got stabbed stabbed!' That to me is cool. And then having Blackbeard find him as the end of what would be the first act of our story felt good to me."

Discusses kiss scene filming and the national moment around gay rights

What to focus on a rewatch - "I think Con O'Neill does such a great job. He's such a complex character, and it's such a tortured relationship. And that's a love story too, between him and Blackbeard. It's a very dysfunctional story, but it's fun to watch. Watch that maybe, on a rewatch, looking where their relationship ultimately goes."

TV Insider - Mar 25, 2022 - with Meaghan Darwish - Link

Discusses show pitch - "When I was pitching [the show] to people, I'd be like, 'Okay, so it's about Stede and Blackbeard, and then they hit it off and then they fall in love.' And then people are like, 'Okay, cool,' Jenkins shares. "And then they really fall in love, and become intimately involved."

Discusses historical inspiration

Discusses S2 direction - "But when [Stede] goes to find [Blackbeard], he's gone and his crew's been abandoned. And so watching them try to negotiate that, that's a good rom-com beat," he adds.

The Verge - Apr 15, 2022 - with Charles Pulliam-Moore - Link

Discusses being surprised by queerbaiting legacy - "...part of me knew that, yes, Stede and Ed's romance was going to be real. But one part of me felt like, 'We're going to do this story, and they're going to kiss, and maybe that's not even going to be that big a deal. Maybe it'll just be a blip.'"

Discusses writing romance - "I'd never written a romance before this one, but I think with Ed and Stede, the question's always 'what's the need for each other?'"

Discusses falling in love and Stede's accidental seduction - "It made sense to have that love be almost like a teenage version of falling in love — one with all these intense and conflicting feelings. They're middle-aged, but Stede's young. Ed's young. Emotionally, they're like 16, and they've both got a lot to learn."

Discusses Con O'Neill as Izzy - "He plays an exhausted quality that's really lovely because this character could just be generically evil, and the way Con plays, it is like, he's credible. I believe that he can do some damage if he wanted to. My favorite thing I've seen about the show is somebody saying that Con's playing the only human with a bunch of Muppets. It does feel like that a bit where he's like Charles Grodin in The Great Muppet Caper."

On Izzy being in love with Blackbeard - "I think Izzy's deeply in love with Blackbeard, and it's a very dysfunctional kind of love, and he's like the jilted spouse who's losing his man to fucking Stede Bonnet, and he can't believe this is happening."

Discusses masculinity and piracy as an escape from that

Discusses diversity and trauma based stories - "And the consensus in that very diverse room was that we wanted to show that isn't just wallowing in trauma. We don't have to do a coming out scene or focusing on the trauma of it — not to say that those stories aren’t valid."

Gizmodo - Jun 20, 2022 - with Linda Codega (io9) - Link

Musing on fandom response to the show - "I'm wondering if the fact that because the queerness of this show isn't gaslighting the audience, and isn't a function of wanting to do something, but not being able to produce the results because of network standards. I think we just happened to be in this lucky spot where the show is actually queer… and I do think that people are responding to that."

Comparing fanfiction to writing - "And Con O'Neill's audition was one of those things I would go back to. I would watch that and be like… Oh, right, that's the show. And in a way, you're writing fanfiction for a certain actor and character because you want them to do something, and you're like–" at this point, it must be said, Jenkins let out a maniacal little giggle. He’s just as thrilled to show off Con O'Neill's ability to seem both deeply exhausted and menacing as the rest of the fandom. "And you [as the writer] you're like… And then Izzy does this now."

EW.com - Dec 13, 2022 - with Devan Coggan - Link

Discusses The Chain sequence - "I had initially wanted that end sequence to be like the FBI raid in a mob movie, where the feds come in, and they've got boxes of stuff, and everyone's running, and someone makes a dash for it," Jenkins explains. "So, it's like a mob movie or FBI raid story, and then it's also a story of Stede's lover coming back."

Pre-S2

Collider - Oct 2, 2023 - with Carly Lane - Link

Discusses fan reaction to S1 - "I thought that they'd kiss, and people would be like, 'Oh, cool, cool!' I kind of thought people would know a little bit more [about] where we were going, but then in hindsight, no, people have been hurt and burned on so many other shows and then made to feel silly."

Discusses starting S2 dark - "One of these characters is very, very damaged and has never made himself vulnerable in this way before, and I don't think [he] would react very well to having his heart broken in this way. I don't think it would be cute, and I don't think it would be funny. I think it would be scary as hell to watch a very damaged guy that we've established in Ed, who killed his dad and thinks he's not capable of being loved, deal with rejection and see that Stede really hurt him."

Discusses adding more female characters

Discusses S2 needle drops including "This Woman's Work"

Discusses 3-season arc

Post 2x01 - 2x03

Mashable - Oct 5, 2023 - with Belen Edwards - Link

Discusses fandom response to S1

About the canon gay relationship - "To watch the explosion of enthusiasm around [the kiss] was disorienting, almost," Jenkins said. "I thought people would react to it, but I didn't think the reaction would be that big. And then it was moving, because I didn't realize that this audience felt so unserved in general, as far as storylines go."

Insider - Oct 5, 2023 - with Ayomikun Adekaiyero - Link

Tease on leaning into the Stede / Ed / Izzy love triangle - "I think Izzy, in a certain way, got the worst deal in the first season," the showrunner tells Insider. "He gets jilted and then he still is in spurned spouse territory at the beginning of the second season."

Discusses Izzy's arc - "What is that relationship about? And I think by the end of the season it kind of becomes a little unexpected of who they are to each other and what they mean to each other," he teases

Discusses addition of Zheng - "He likens Zheng's way of pirating to a successful tech startup, compared with the garage sale vibe Stede had going on the Revenge."

Discusses introducing Hornigold - "I thought Hornigold was the most obvious because he was the person who made Blackbeard what he is. And Blackbeard has a father complex, so it's natural that he's going to bring his former captain back," the show creator said. "It's a struggle with him because he and dad figures don't historically do well."

Discusses importance of the mermaid scene

Inverse - Oct 5, 2023 - with Hoai-Tran Bui - Link

Reveals he didn't commit to the romance until shooting 1x06 - "Jenkins always intended his pirate comedy to end with a romance, but he'd envisioned it as an unrequited love. "It was going to be about Stede learning what love is, and Ed making himself vulnerable and getting burned," Jenkins says of his original pitch. But Darby and Waititi's choices in the scene, which they played without diffusing the tenderness with a joke, made him wonder if they could take the show in a new direction."

Discusses mermaid Stede idea from S1 - "We talked about Stede as a mermaid very early on in the writers' room," Jenkins says. "At some point, yeah, I want to see Rhys Darby as a merman." + "They wanted us to come up with a Season 2 pitch during Season 1. And that was one of the ideas we hit on, and I can't quite remember how we got there, but it was us asking, what is a pirate world? Are there mermaids? Is there magic in this show? With pirate stuff, I don’t know that I want there to be magic, but there was a way where it was something really beautiful about a mer-person, and I like the idea that their coming together would have a mythic size to it."

Discusses historical divergence

Discusses matelotage and pirates as weird outsiders

TV Guide - Oct 5, 2023 - with Allison Piccuro - Link

About the shipping culture - "It's the meat of the show, so it's great to have people bought into the central romance. If it were a bromance that we were trying to make look like a romance, that would suck."

Discusses playlists he makes

Discusses opening dream sequence - "I just like that it started with something badass. Stede, Blackbeard, and Izzy are on an arc together. Whether they're in stories together or not, their ultimate arc is together. I think, by the end of this season, the last episode, that first scene will be gratifying. I won't say why, but their fates are tied together."

Discusses Kraken arc - "But I think the thing that's good about this show is that it can go to really sweet comedy land, but I want there to be, like, if someone loses a body part, for instance, they lose a body part. To do justice to the fact that this guy is a killer and a monster, and dealing with heartache that he doesn't know how to deal with, I think you really need to go there."

Discusses Izzy in S2 - "I mean, he's jilted. He had a partnership with Blackbeard, and he knows he can't live up to this person that Blackbeard fell in love with... Who is that guy? What are his hobbies? What does it look like when he's not totally subsumed with his boss's love affair with somebody, and heartbroken?"

On S2 reunion - "The second season is them being a little bit more mature... It's the thing where you're in your 20s or 30s and you're like, "Well, should we move in together?" They have to make up some time because neither of them have been in a functional relationship before."

About genre of pirate stories - "...is a show about multiple relationships. That's what I want to see when I see this show. I don't want to see a bunch of pirate things that I've seen in other things, I'll just go watch another thing if I want to see that. That's not really my thing. I like the genre, but it's a very hard genre to budge. I want to see relationships in a pirate world."

Discusses the A Star is Born aspect of seeking fame / retiring

Mashable - Oct 7, 2023 - with Belen Edwards - Link

About the mermaid scene - "You need something expressive for when they come back together," Jenkins said. "Their reunion moment has to feel big and mythical. This is not a world where mermaids actually exist, but their love for each other has that size that you can get [a mermaid] in there somewhere."

About Kate Bush - "I love Kate Bush, and I love that song, and I know Taika loves that song," Jenkins explained of the choice. "So I wanted to find a place for that song somewhere in the second season."

Polygon - Oct 9, 2023 - with Tasha Robinson & more - Link

Compares S2 and "Golden Age of Piracy" stuff to Westerns, lists 5 he was thinking of - "Every Western that’s good is that story," Jenkins says. "'This way of life we made is coming to an end. It can't last. It's a blip in time. We created this thing because we need it to exist. We're outlaws, and we need a culture that suits us, but it's running out of time.'"

Gizmodo - Oct 9, 2023 - with Linda Codega (io9) - Link

Short tease on leaning into the love triangle

About Stede, Edward, and Izzy - "I think the three of them are on an arc together that's pretty inseparable," Jenkins said in an interview with io9. "And to watch Izzy try to process what's happened [in season one]… to watch him kind of grow and figure out what's his own story, if he can separate himself from this kind of toxic relationship, is interesting to me and I think gives him a lot of room for growth."

Post 2x04 - 2x05

IndieWire - Oct 12, 2023 - with Sarah Shachat - Link

Discusses directing and show creation

"The limitations of the show also naturally push it back towards moments with the ensemble and plot problems that it would frankly be irresponsible to tackle if you had a giant budget and a fully working ship-of-the-line to sail and then blow to bits. "That's the fun of the show to us, I think. If you open this up and you're like, unlimited budget, that would be terrible because I think you can get seduced," Jenkins said. "[It could be like,] 'Oh man, it's all leading up to a climatic battle on the sea.' And those things are great. But that’s not this show.""

"The nice thing about that, though, is you get to be the lo-fi show that’s like, 'Hey, we’re making The Muppets.'"

PopSugar - Oct 12, 2023 - with Victoria Edel - Link

About S2 Stede - "I like the idea that he learns and grows and he doesn't just stay a bumbling captain. He might be ridiculous, but he is getting better at it."

Discusses genre challenges - "How do you have a show that's a romance show but it's also a workplace show and they're criminals?"

Discusses Edward's redemption - "But Blackbeard still has to come back and apologize and be part of the community again, and give his little press conference. It was fun for us to look at that in the context of piracy, where they all do terrible things to each other. But even by their standards, what Blackbeard did was a bit much."

Discusses Izzy in S2 - "When Izzy shoots Blackbeard and they all mutiny on him, that's Izzy breaking up with Blackbeard. And they're both having their own journey in the wake of it, and Izzy's having his own redemption arc. He's trying to figure out, "Who am I if I'm not Blackbeard's first mate? Who am I outside of this relationship?"" + "If Stede's Spongebob, he's Squidward. I don't know what that makes Blackbeard. But there's a real pathos to Squidward."

Discusses trauma-based narratives - "As a diverse room in terms of sexuality, socio-economic background, and race, we thought, "Wouldn't it be nice to have a non-trauma-based story for these characters who don't get that historically?""

Variety - Oct 13, 2023 - with Hunter Ingram - Link

Discusses three act structure and making Stede work for a relationship - "The way I like to look at a season is in threes. The end of the first act is when they find each other, and this is the beginning of the second act. They've found each other, but they are pissed. Stede thought it was going to be [Kate Bush's] “This Woman's Work,” but, in reality, it is this headbutt –– literally."

Discusses the central romance - "It was always part of the pitch... that is the reason to make the show. The pirate genre is fun, but I wasn’t dying to make a pirate show. Taika wasn’t dying to make a pirate show. But the thing that was interesting to me was that Stede finds love, and he finds it with Blackbeard."

Discusses 2x04 plot - "This episode is based on a very, very thumbnail sketch of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?." Anne and Mary are Martha and George, and they are Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton."

Discusses adding historical pirates

Discusses Buttons exit - "I just love the idea of him turning into a bird: I love the idea of Buttons somehow being the one character that is able to figure that out."

Discusses Izzy and the crew's trauma plot - "We liked the idea that there is something about trauma and getting past that trauma, even on a pirate ship. They have been through two very different ways of living and they have to get used to each other again. But it's also a family that was separated, and becoming one family again is painful."

Discusses bringing characters back - "We could bring Calico Jack back, who, if you remember, was hit by a cannonball last season. Anyone who is that fun to play with and wants to keep playing, you always find a way to bring them back."

Polygon - Oct 14, 2023 - with Tasha Robinson - Link

Discusses 3-season arc and how keeping them apart with some plot device was never in the cards - "at the end of the first season, they're 14-year-olds, emotionally. In this season, it's more like they’re in their late 20s."

Discussing New Zealand production and ensemble cast writing - "It's pretty organic, because as we're going through and tracking everybody's journey for the season, we're watching the thing that holds us together — what stage of Stede and Blackbeard's relationship are we in? Because the overarching arc is, are these guys going to learn how to settle into a relationship?"

"The second season is more overtly about romance, and more a relationship story."

Energizing aspect of fan reaction

S3 is about "love is work"

Gizmodo - Oct 16, 2023 - with Linda Codega (io9) - Link

About the story - "I want to see them become a functional couple or fail to become a functional couple," Jenkins said. "Those are the most interesting parts of the show."

Discusses fandom engagement - "...ultimately the writers are also "the fans in the room." He goes on to say that, "We're fans of the world. We're writing fanfic about our own characters, our own worlds… It's paid fanfic, but it's fanfic." He gives another example: "If you're writing a season of Succession, you're writing fanfic Succession. You're just getting paid to do it. We, as writers–" it's clear that he's not just talking about the writers in the writers room, "become fans of the world and we all have things we want to see these characters do. What we do is not that different."

Discusses the A Star is Born aspect of seeking fame / retiring

Discusses Zheng Yi Sao

Villains of the series - There are a lot of new villains this season, but, Jenkins says, ultimately, "the antagonist on this show is normalcy… These pirates have a way of life that they're not finding in normal life. They've found a way to live and support each other and be there for each other. And that's always threatened by these larger, tyrannical forces that want to shut them down."

Post 2x06 - 2x07

Mashable - Oct 19, 2023 - with Belen Edwards - Link

Discussing drag performance in 2x06

"It is nice to see with Izzy's arc, where he finally breaks through whatever he's been doing to himself. He lets himself have that moment, which I just love. It resonates for Izzy, and I think it resonates for Con. Just personally, it made me feel good to see how it turned out."

Consequence - Oct 19, 2023 - with Liz Shannon Miller - Link

Discusses intent for romance - "...telling a love story in a serialized medium like television has its perils, largely because it's tough to know how much you can draw out any unresolved tension. "I think we take it episode by episode and we try to not piss people off in taking too long and doing double beats and triple beats," Jenkins says. "You can only do Will They or Won’t They for so long. Then you have to deepen it.""

Discusses pirate setting - "The emphasis on relationships also fits into the show's high-seas setting, which Jenkins finds similar to post-apocalyptic narratives. "It is a little bit like you're doing Mad Max, except there's relationships," he says. "Stuff's shitty, so you gotta try to find some joy. Of course, people are going to have a need for each other in these extreme circumstances, and I like the idea of these characters finding some level of a healthy relationship in these extreme circumstances.""

Discusses Jim x Archie

Discusses 3-season arc

Polygon - Oct 21, 2023 - with Tasha Robinson - Link

Discussing gender and power dynamics in Jackie x Swede / Zheng x Oluwande / Blackbeard x Stede + A Star is Born aspect

Jim not being jealous of Oluwande - "I think that relationship was always seen in the room as a friend relationship that got romantic."

About adding a villain - "I think a lot of the internal forces in Our Flag are the villains." + "I think this is a story about the age of piracy coming to an end. This way of life is coming to an end. And every Western that's good is that story: This way of life we made is coming to an end, and it can't last. […] I think every story about outlaws is about trying to preserve a way of life against normative forces that are kind of fascistic."

Historical accuracy - "The balance of the show is 90% ignoring history, and then 10%, bring it in, whenever we're like, Ah, gotta move the story forward! Remember, the English are out there, and they're really bad!"

Post 2x08

AV Club - Oct 26, 2023 - with Saloni Gajjar - Link

Killing Izzy was always the plan - "We wanted to show the depth of that character. Izzy is one of my favorites. He's like middle management who is in a sort of love triangle [in season one]."

Discusses how they really wanted the happy ending for S2 - "I think with season one's end, it was a gamble to leave it the way it was. Everybody stomached through it. Now if it turned out they didn't want us to make more, I just didn't want to have another story where the same-sex love story ends in tragedy, unrequited love, or if one or both of them are being punished."

Discusses S2 progressing the 3-season romance - "They’re a couple who is like in their late twenties right now as opposed to being teens at the end of season one." + "It was an interesting tension of, which one gives up their dream? A lot of times in relationships questions can come up, like who is going to give up on their dream to take care of the kids? Obviously, no one wants to, but someone ends up giving up more than they want to at some point. What's wonderful about a mature romance, and what I'd want to see more of in season three, is Ed and Stede making these tough decisions." + progressing past the getting together point

Discusses parallels, Republic of Pirates, and Zheng Yi Sao

Short bit about fan response

Collider - Oct 26, 2023 - with Carly Lane - Link

Discusses Ed leaving fishing - "I like that he had a little prima donna moment where he thought he could go and be a simple man, and then it's revealed that he really isn't a simple man; he's a complicated, fussy, moody guy. No, he's not gonna be able to catch fish for a living. For him to be told that, "At your heart, you're a pirate. You have to go back and do it," he doesn't want that to be true, but it was true."

Discusses Izzy's speech to Ricky - "I wanted to give Izzy a proper eulogy for himself. He gives a eulogy for himself, but it felt true writing it."

Discusses Izzy's death scene - "In a way, it's very much for Ed, that speech. The "we were Blackbeard" is claiming that he is also Blackbeard, that Blackbeard is not just Ed’s creation, and I like that for him, too, because he's worked so hard for that — and then just to say, "You can give it up." There can never be a Blackbeard again as far as Izzy's concerned because he's dying, and they did that together."

Discusses Republic of Pirates / music parallels from premier to finale

Discusses finale wedding - "We knew we wanted a matelotage in the season, which is the real term they had for marrying crew members. And yeah, they've always been in relief to Stede and Ed, and they're a little bit ahead of Stede and Ed in how much they can talk about things. So to have a bunch of family things in the season, like a funeral and a wedding, and have the parents kind of watch the kids sail away, felt right, and all of those things seem to work well together and build on each other."

Discusses retirement ending - "That will-they-or-won't-they is interesting to a point, but the real meat of it is always like, "Can they make the relationship, and can they do better than Anne and Mary?""

"Frenchie's in charge of the Revenge" + teases Stede struggling to give it up

EW.com - Oct 26, 2023 - with Devan Coggan - Link

Discusses Izzy's death and telling Con - "It feels like the logical end of Izzy's arc. It's heartbreaking to me because he's my favorite." + "I told him in the middle of shooting because I didn't want him to find out at the table read, obviously. I also didn't want it to leak. He was lovely about it."

Discusses Izzy's final arc - "You know, I didn't expect him to become kind of a father figure to Ed. I think we hit on that while we were breaking the [final] episode. He's in such a weird position: He's like a jilted lover, and then he's a middle manager who has to work for a terrible boss. He gets thrown away, and then he comes back. He really develops, and he becomes a part of this family. I think the biggest surprise was the extent that he was a mentor to Ed. They were both Blackbeard. They both made Blackbeard happen."

Discusses the happy ending intent - "With this season starting so dark, I kind of wanted to reward them for the work that they've done and the character growth that they've had. I wanted to leave them in a place where they're really going to try and make this work. I don't think it's going to be easy for them, necessarily. They're both still immature."

Discusses the wedding - "We knew we wanted a matelotage in the second season, and pretty quickly we landed on Lucius and Black Pete. It seems like they were ready for that. We made up a ceremony and everything, where they call each other mateys, and it was just fun to make our own version of a pirate wedding ceremony."

Discusses potential S3 and Frenchie's Revenge - "But it felt like a good place to end the second season. It felt like a contrast to the first season. If it turns out we don't make any more, I'm comfortable with that being a resting place."

Variety - Oct 26, 2023 - with Hunter Ingram - Link

S3 endpoint - "I love things in threes," he says. "That first act, second act, third act structure is so satisfying when it is done well, and you don't overstay your welcome. I think this world of the show is a big world, and if the third season is successful, we could go on in a different way. But I think for the story of Stede and Ed, that is a three-season story."

Discusses the draw of a "Golden Age" and it's ending

Talks about father figure Izzy and wanting a real sense of loss - "There is a nice parallel to have Ed treat him so badly at the beginning of the season and then come all the way around to where Izzy is this sort of father figure he doesn’t want to lose — because Ed usually kills his father figures."

Gizmodo - Oct 26, 2023 - with Linda Codega (io9) - Link

Teasing future Izzy - "Jenkins looked slightly sad himself, saying that "Ghosts exist in this world." I told him not to make promises he couldn't keep."

"Jenkins said that he doesn't see Izzy as a pure antagonist in season one because on some level… Izzy was right in his hesitations about Stede."

Discussing Con O'Neill & Rhys Darby acting

Jenkins confirms the season was always 8 episodes due to budget cuts

About S2 finale vs S3 - "The first season ends on such a downer, so it made sense to end the second season in a kinder spot." + "I think there's plenty of story left for season three, but I think that it was important to end this as if it was the end of the show, and on upbeat note and avoid the kind of "kill your gays" trope. I don't want to see Stede and Ed punished for giving it a go. I want to see them really say, 'yeah, we’re going to we're going to try to have a relationship'."

Teases S3 revenge against Ricky and going to the Americas

Vanity Fair - Oct 26, 2023 - with Sarah Catherall - Link

About the ending - "It's bittersweet. There's death and there's the rebirth of Stede and Blackbeard's relationship; there's a funeral, there's a wedding, and the idea that this family is going to keep fighting even as they lose members. And then it's about belonging to something." + "A lot of times, with this narrative of characters, same-sex relationships end on a dour, downbeat note, where one of them dies and it's unrequited or it's unrealized; something horrible happens and they're punished in a way. So it was important to leave it open and a lot more show to go, but also leave it in a place where it's happy."

Discusses Izzy as a mentor / father figure - "We felt like Izzy's story had reached its conclusion, where we put him through enough. And then there was the realization that he is kind of a mentor to Blackbeard and that he is kind of a father figure to Blackbeard." + "And it's also a pirate show, so he's got to die."

Discusses filming challenges - "It's a big show; it's basically a one-hour show that we're doing on a half-hour budget."

Discusses adding Zheng Yi Sao

Is the show a queer romance? - "For this show, it's important to me just to write a really bold-bodied romantic show that happens to be between two characters of the same sex. I think that the story beats don't matter, because if you've been in love and you've been hurt and you met someone you love—hopefully we all know what those feelings are."

Blackbeard's arc in S2 - "...the second season is about Blackbeard's midlife crisis. And then when they both have their midlife crises, they can open a B&B together." + "I don't think Stede and Blackbeard are ready to be married. They're emotionally saying: 'Let's give this a go.'"

Discusses historical piracy as "counterculture" that's been straightwashed and whitewashed

Did he feel responsibility to the fan community? - "As opposed to responsibility, it feels more like relief—that people feel seen and they feel good about it and they liked what we did. And so it feels like, Okay, somebody's out there and wants the show. The makeup of the writers room looks a lot like the makeup of the fan base. So as long as we're true to our stories in the writers room, I think we just feel excited that there's somebody waiting on the other end to enjoy it."

Paste Magazine - Oct 26, 2023 - with Tara Bennett - Link

Discusses whether fandom expectations felt weighty - "I think particularly for this season, that "bury your gays" thing… I didn't want to end on a downbeat for Ed and Stede. We did that in the first season. I like that there's a lot of different flavors. It's even a little melancholy because the Republic of Pirates got blown up. But there's still more good things."

Discusses production and plotting - "I wanted to start at the Republic of Pirates this season and end at the Republic of Pirates. And I knew I wanted the Republic of Pirates to be destroyed, ultimately. Within that, we are making a one-hour show on a half hour budget, on a half hour schedule."

Discusses planning the ending - "In terms of ending this season, it all felt right just in talking through it when we were in the room. It felt pretty intuitive. When you get to the third act of the story, things kind of settle in. There's gonna be a funeral. We always knew we wanted a wedding at the end of the second season. And I knew that I wanted Stede and Ed to start an inn together. So once you have those beats, it's kind of locked in."

Discusses Izzy's arc - "It's kind of a strange arc in that I knew we were going to put him through all these things, and I knew he would ultimately die. But I think him becoming a father figure to Ed in the last episode didn't really dawn on us until we were breaking the last episode. Asking what would this man say to Ed at the end because they've been together through everything? He went from a troubled and downtrodden employee to a jilted lover to a discarded employee, to someone that is just trying to find his footing again—no pun intended—to actually becoming this guy's parental figure on some level. And he's one person who kind of raised Ed right, because Blackbeard usually kills his parental figures. So, it felt right and it felt like that's how the mentor dies. The mentor in a story usually dies in the second act and then our hero has to go on and try to do it without them. It felt like the right journey for Izzy and a gratifying one for Con."

On leaving open for S3 - "I don't think it was a very hard thing to do. I think it was more that I felt a responsibility to leave Ed and Stede in a good place, at least for now. It's not gonna go well. They're not going to run a business well. Ed's too much of a talker. Stede can't focus. It's gonna be challenging."

Vulture - Oct 28, 2023 - with Sophie Brookover - Link

Discussing Izzy as a "father figure" and his S2 send-off being a priority

Meaning of piracy - "...what our pirates stand for is a life of belonging to something larger than they are in the face of a crushing, slightly fascist normalcy."

Re: Con O'Neill & Izzy's death - "I had to tell him about halfway through the season"

Third season about the work of a relationship between still damaged main characters

Discusses middles as about change and transitions, and wanting characters to change instead of reset, have them experience permanent consequences

About the final scene - "...Ed and Stede as the parents kind of watching the kids take the ship. Frenchie's the captain now..."

Objective of the crew - "...have had terrible things happen to them at the hands of colonial forces, so they want some payback. Party, plunder, and payback — the three P's."

Metro Weekly - Nov 1, 2023 - with Randy Shulman - Link

Discusses historical premise of S1 and easing into the romance

Discusses S2 genre - "In the second season, it was great because we know it's a romance and we can lead with that. It's a workplace show essentially. I wanted it to be more in the vein of early episodes of Grey's Anatomy or something where there are all these relationships on those shows. That's what you’re following — relationships and friendships that are taking place in a hospital, procedural. That's Grey's Anatomy. This is less procedural for the pirate stuff — and you need the pirate stuff."

Discusses not being into pirates - "But I'm like you. I'm not a big pirate person. In general, it's a big creaky genre that's hard to budge" + "Pirates of the Caribbean, those movies are great. That's not necessarily what I hunger to see, but in that genre, it's great. You're not going to beat that, especially on something that's lower budget. We've seen a lot of this stuff, so it's fun to take it then and don't do any of that stuff."

Discusses adapting historical piracy - "You don't want to see them punch down. You don't want to see them do terrible things to people who don't deserve it, which is not what they really did. So, in the show's world, I think piracy is like a stand-in for something. I think it's a stand-in for being an iconoclast and an outsider and queer in some ways and just different." + "Yeah, I mean, the British are there to be Stormtroopers, or Nazis in an Indiana Jones movie. I mean, they're in there to die essentially."

Discusses diversity staffing

Discusses performative masculinity

Discusses Izzy's death, happy endings, and openness to S3

#trust me i appreciate the irony of making an extensive word of god reference when i want people to stop blindly promoting word of god #(and also when i'm currently very irritated with the creators)#and fyi showrunners talk A LOT but i was already committed so this was more work than i was expecting #i'll even use a small bit of my extra hour of destiel day to post this (most of it was assembled while watching supernatural)#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd meta #david jenkins #word of god #ladyluscinia

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Yuri Subtext (?) Anime List

A supplement to my earlier yuri anime masterlist, this list covers anime which aren’t marketed as yuri but which prominently feature F/F pairs, whether canonical or subtext! Since subtext is so subjective, this post only includes series which I’ve actually watched, and so is by no means intended to be comprehensive.

Also, since the above description would not cover certain series with well-known yuri pairings, I've also included a few "bonus rounds" for the curious (although these are still limited to series I have watched).

At-a-glance list:

Revolutionary Girl Utena (39 episodes + 1 movie, 1997)

NOIR (26 episodes, 2001)

Puella Magi Madoka Magica (12 episodes, 2011)

Haibane Renmei (13 episodes, 2002)

.hack//SIGN (26 episodes, 2002)

Read or Die / R.O.D. the TV (26 episodes, 2003)

Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury (24 episodes, 2022)

Black Rock Shooter (8 episodes, 2010)

Izetta: The Last Witch (12 episodes, 2016)

Violet Evergarden: Eternity and the Auto Memory Doll (movie, 2019)

Canaan (13 episodes, 2009)

Ga-Rei: Zero (12 episodes, 2008)

Bonus rounds:

Sailor Moon S3 (38 episodes, 1994) (subtext)

Mai-Hime (26 episodes, 2004) (canon)

Psycho-Pass (41 episodes + 3 movies, 2012) (canon)

My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! (24 episodes + movie, 2020) (canon)

Summaries under the cut!

1. Revolutionary Girl Utena (39 episodes + 1 movie, 1997) - Anime News Network | MyAnimeList

(Copied from the Yuri Anime Masterlist post, since technically it wasn’t marketed as yuri)

When she was a child, Tenjou Utena (Kawakami Tomoko) was saved by a passerby prince, so she decided that she too wanted to become a prince as an adult. Fast forward to high school, and she hasn’t forgotten that conviction: Utena gets sucked into a series of duels while trying to protect her best friend’s honour. After winning the first duel, she becomes ‘engaged’ to the eccentric “Rose Bride” Himemiya Anthy (Fuchizaki Yuriko), and the two start living together in the same dormitory.

First things first: there are a million content warnings for this series, including implied rape, sexual assault, incest, and homophobia. Although the issues are handled well (in my opinion), it does go to very dark places, so those wanting a light, fun anime to unwind to should look elsewhere. Second, this series is very much a psychological drama utilising the episodic duels as a way of hone in on Utena’s opponents and their stories, so Utena and Anthy’s relationship – though important – is definitely not the focus of the anime. Third, the TV series is limited to hinting at the romantic relationship between Utena and Anthy, not to mention that they spend most of the series being little more than acquaintances rather than actual friends. The movie Adolescence (which can be taken as a retelling or sequel, depending on your perspective) is much more explicit on this front, but also suffers from a significantly shorter runtime and a much more opaque approach to storytelling.

That being said! If you’re okay with all of the above, this series is pretty much essential. The simplistic premise belies a much more complex and nuanced story about gender roles, sexuality, and human relationships and remains one of the smartest anime ever made, over twenty years on.

2. NOIR (26 episodes, 2001) - Anime News Network | MyAnimeList

The first in anime studio Bee Train’s “girls with guns” trilogy, NOIR follows globetrotting assassin duo Mireille Bouquet (Mitsuishi Kotono) and Yuumura Kirika (Kuwashima Houko) as they partner up to search for Kirika’s missing memories and the truth behind Mireille’s parents’ deaths. The series is pleasingly restrained despite the sensational premise, alternating between “business trips” to far-flung locations and snapshots of the pair’s domestic life in Mireille’s Paris apartment, and devoting more time to the unfolding of the relationship between the prickly Mireille and puppy-like Kirika than to action sequences. I won't say too much due to spoilers, but their relationship numbers among my favorites due to how naturally it is developed throughout and how it is very much at the heart of the series both narratively and thematically.

This is also the first anime soundtrack entirely composed by the legendary Kajiura Yuki, heralding a long collaboration with director Mashimo Kouichi, and her mix of classical and modern sounds provides the perfect accompaniment to NOIR’s atmospheric cityscapes. Also, for fans of Mitsuishi’s work (Sailor Moon! Utena! Evangelion!), I’d say NOIR is a must-watch for her performance alone; her Mireille is brittle and proud, and she brings so much humanity and nuance to the role. In fact, I don’t care if you’re a fan of Mitsuishi or Kajiura or assassins or whatever, please just try the first episode— this anime deserves way more love!

3. Puella Magi Madoka Magica (12 episodes, 2011) - Anime News Network | MyAnimeList

Puella Magi Madoka Magica opens with ordinary middle school girl Kaname Madoka (Yuuki Aoi) standing in the ruins of her hometown, watching as a lone girl struggles to defend what remains of the city against a much more powerful enemy. A little rabbit-like creature informs Madoka that the girl is sure to lose without her help, and so Madoka decides to become a magical girl right then and there— at which point she wakes up and dismisses it as a strange nightmare. But then that very day, her school receives a new transfer student who looks just like that mysterious girl, and she also finds a hurt animal that closely resembles the rabbit-like creature from her dream. Madoka is then faced with certain questions: do magical girls actually exist, and will she become one herself?

Since Madoka Magica was all the rage back in the early 2010s, I don’t think it too much of a spoiler to say that the cheery first three episodes hide a dark, gritty story which uses the concept of magical girls to explore the tumultuousness of adolescence. The queer subtext only comes in at the end but tight plotting and inventive presentation make this show a quick watch— and if you’re the type who likes queerness in fiction to be intense, world-shakingly significant, and a wee bit problematic, the payoff should be more than enough. A word of warning: there is a movie sequel called Rebellion, but if you’re happy with the ending of the anime, it’s best not to watch it (although I love the movie, myself).

Side note: I won’t go into it too much due to spoilers but if you liked Madoka Magica you might want to check out Serial Experiments Lain – even if most of it is utterly incomprehensible (as it was to me), it’s worth watching until the very end (wink). Also, for the rare fan of Rebellion, Adolescence of Utena is a must-watch if you haven’t checked it out already; so much can be said about its conceptual and aesthetic influences on Rebellion!

4. Haibane Renmei (13 episodes, 2002) - Anime News Network | MyAnimeList

(Note: slight spoilers about the tone and overall themes of the show – but I think it’s necessary for the purpose of writing a more representative summary.)

Written by ABe Yoshitoshi – character designer of cult classic anime Serial Experiments Lain and author of the very unfinished manga which this show adapts and significantly develops – Haibane Renmei starts off as a light-fantasy slice-of-life anime following freshly-arrived Rakka (Hirohashi Ryou) as she searches for a suitable job in the town of Glie, before transforming into a nuanced exploration of grief and depression about halfway through. To say more would be really too spoilery, but I just want to say that this has probably the most grounded and sensitive depiction of depression I have seen in an anime; it shows that sometimes people struggle even if everyone around them is kind and supportive, but remains hopeful about the healing power of time and understanding. The subtext is between the protagonist and Reki (Noda Junko), the first person she meets, who also helps her get acclimatised to her new life in Glie. Again, I won’t say more, but their relationship really is wonderful. That being said, this show does touch upon suicide and suicidal ideation in the course of discussing these themes, so please steer clear if that is something you are wary of.

5. .hack//SIGN (26 episodes, 2002) - Anime News Network | MyAnimeList

A standalone spinoff of the .hack PS2 games, this show was the most well-known anime about players getting trapped inside a multiplayer game before Sword Art Online’s arrival in 2012 (ironically, Kajiura Yuki composed the music for both). Rather than being an action-adventure story about a heroic protagonist trying to find a way back to the real world, SIGN stands out as an introspective piece, far more interested in the psychology of those who play online games and the issues of human connection and identity. In fact, the female protagonist is all too happy to remain within the MMORPG as male player-avatar Tsukasa (Saiga Mitsuki) after becoming unable to log out; the story is more about how the player grows to accept the real world with the help of the other players she meets, rather than about figuring out the exit route.

On the F/F side, some way into the series, Tsukasa makes an instant connection with fellow player-character Subaru (Nazuka Kaori) and they soon start spending a lot of time together. I really love their scenes together; the series' masterful use of body language, framing, and music all comes together to create these beautifully tender moments of intimacy. Although there’s no kiss scene nor explicit discussion of dating etc., a lot of the other characters talk about their relationship and perceive it as being romantic, to the point where one gets homophobically “worried” about Subaru when they find out that the player controlling male avatar Tsukasa is female. Tsukasa and Subaru's relationship becomes a lynchpin for both characters' development, and in general is used to illustrate the series' underlying themes in a thoughtful and heartwarming way.

6. Read or Die / R.O.D. the TV (26 episodes, 2003) Anime News Network | MyAnimeList

A spinoff of the Read or Die series which takes more from espionage thrillers and Hong Kong action flicks than shounen anime, R.O.D. the TV takes the unusual approach of starting with its main character - elite paper-maniuplating superspy Yomiko Readman (Miura Rieko) - being nowhere to be seen after burning down the British Library in a dramatic resignation announcement. Instead of focusing on her, or the spy agencies clashing in her absence, the story instead follows her friend Sumiregawa Nenene (Yukino Satsuki), who joins up with a trio of sisters with paper-manipulating powers and criminal connections in her quest to find out what happened to Yomiko. The queerness is mainly implied through Nenene's focus on Yomiko, which is unrequited and sadly fizzles out narratively speaking in the back half. Unfortunately, this is coupled with an increased focus on more heteronormative topics, such as Yomiko's grief over her dead male lover, and the child one of the characters had with the villain of the OVA. That being said, I also want to shout out this series' surprisingly earnest depiction of budding queerness in a young (like, elementary-school young) side character - something that is rare in fiction even now.

7. Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury (24 episodes, 2022) - Anime News Network | MyAnimeList

The most recent entry on this list by far (the final episode aired just a day ago at time of writing), The Witch from Mercury initially seems to forgo the Gundam franchise’s usual grand scale, being set in an academy run by the corporate giant Benerit Group. Main character and new student Suletta Mercury (Ichinose Kana) - the franchise’s first female protagonist since its beginnings in 1979 - accidentally bumbles her way into fighting a mecha duel, and, when she wins, is shocked to find that she is now engaged to the sole heiress of that self-same corporate giant, her classmate Miorine Rembran (Lynn). So far so Utena, but after the first episode, things start to diverge significantly: though the duels continue, the focus shifts to how big-picture tensions such as the manoeuvring within the Benerit Group and the conflict between the space colonisers and people on Earth play out within the student body, and how the arrival of Suletta and her mysteriously cutting-edge mecha start to shake up the status quo… until things come to an explosive head.

For those who curious about G-Witch due to Suletta and Miorine, but who wouldn’t normally be interested in Gundam or space operas, I’ll just say that if the hype has led you to expect a big queer romance where Suletta and Miorine shout their love from the rooftops, well, that’s not how it goes. It’s a mecha anime first and foremost, after all! But lower your expectations and you may be pleasantly surprised. Season 1 offers plenty to enjoy in terms of Suletta’s earnest attempts to be a good “bridegroom” and the tsundere Miorine’s bouts of jealousy over Suletta. And while their relationship takes a bit of a back seat in Season 2 due to there being So Much going on, it remains one of the key elements of the series and their scenes together are the emotional peaks of the season.

Side note: Some might criticise Gundam for taking so long to have a female main character, but let’s not forget about how the even older Ultraman (1966), Kamen Rider (1971), and Super Sentai (1975) franchises still have not had a single mainline series featuring a female protagonist… Come on guys, I’m dying for a female-led Kamen Rider over here!

8. Black Rock Shooter (8 episodes, 2010) - Anime News Network | MyAnimeList

One of the two anime inspired by the Hatsune Miku song of the same name, this Okada Mari-penned series hones in on the passionate friendships and jealousies of a group of middle-school girls. In a twist that feels informed by the psychological allegory of the popular Persona games, this interpersonal drama plays out in the surreal battle world of the music video, with the titular Black Rock Shooter being the main character’s alter-ego. Of particular interest is the first half’s focus on the blossoming friendship between protagonist Kuroi Mato (Hanazawa Kana) and her shy classmate Takanashi Yomi (Sawashiro Miyuki), which has strong overtones of two girls developing crushes on each other – it doesn’t go smoothly, but hey, that’s life.

9. Izetta: The Last Witch (12 episodes, 2016) - Anime News Network | MyAnimeList

Set during what is basically World War 2, Izetta: The Last Witch asks the daring question of “What if a small European country about to be invaded by alternate-history Nazi Germany could fight back with magic… and what if it was (subtextually) yuri?” The show follows politically-minded princess Finé as she and her best friend (read: girlfriend) Izetta think up ways to leverage the latter’s witchy gifts to save the country from invasion – a rare case of a military anime where female characters are significantly involved at the strategic stage. Those who enjoy the classic princess-and-knight trope may find something to like as long as they are fine with Finé and Izetta not having much relationship development (as their dynamic is established from the start) and them not having many one-on-one scenes together (as the series’ main focus is on the political manoeuvring). Note that this show is also pretty heavy on the fanservice – IIRC there was at least one moment of egregious sexualisation per episode.

Side note: those who like Izetta may also want to check out Last Exile: Fam, the Silver Wing, a female-focused dieselpunk anime with a lot of military strategizing and a very cool world setting, though Izetta is better-paced and the main relationship is much more plot-significant. (That being said I do like the relationship between Fam side characters Tatiana and Alistair… Tatiana is probably the adult character with the most screentime in Fam, being the main characters’ commanding officer, and although it’s very background, she has this cutely settled dynamic with former piloting partner turned wife right-hand woman Alistair.)

10. Violet Evergarden: Eternity and the Auto Memory Doll (movie, 2019) - Anime News Network | MyAnimeList

(Note: this entry’s a slightly weird one, it only covers the first 40 minutes of this movie due to it being basically two episodic stories smushed together into a single package, and only the earlier story is relevant to this list.)

In this standalone spinoff of the Violet Evergarden anime series – itself an adaptation of the light novel series by Akatsuki Kana – the titular protagonist Violet (Ishikawa Yui) takes a break from ghostwriting letters to serve as companion to aloof young noblewoman Isabella York (Kotobuki Minako) in her last months of finishing school. The story is a quiet coming-of-age tale focusing on how the kind (and rather dashing!) Violet helps Isabella to open up, or, in simpler terms, it’s fodder for butler-and-lady fans. Don’t get your hopes up too much, though: Violet learning about her romantic feelings for her deceased male superior is one of the main throughlines of the anime, and this (half of the) movie also ends with a heterosexual arranged marriage for Isabella. That being said, this movie is really a feast for the eyes, its historical-fantasy setting being brought out with beautiful backgrounds and detailed linework, so it’s worth checking out if you don’t mind the very Class S narrative.

Side note: if you want F/F butler-and-lady or princess-and-knight vibes I would really recommend watching Fate/Zero for Saber and Irisviel – yes Irisviel is already married to one of the (male) main characters and yes Saber is absolutely the main love interest for the famously-straight Fate/stay night, but their dynamic is really good and Saber gets to wear a stylish suit and be all chivalrous to a woman… Please watch the third episode of season 1 at least…

11. Canaan (13 episodes, 2009) - Anime News Network | MyAnimeList

There’s quite a lot going on in Canaan – perhaps unsurprisingly so for a spinoff of the FMV visual novel 428: Shibuya Scramble, which is famous for its intertwined storylines – but in true action-movie blockbuster style, all you really need to know is that the titular mercenary Canaan (Sawashiro Miyuki) is on a hunt for her mentor’s protégé-turned-murderer, and a lot of flashy fighting is involved. Also, there's no need to worry if you haven't played the original game, as Canaan is pretty much a standalone work and all of the significant characters are original to the anime. Yuri-minded viewers may enjoy her clashes with the villain Alphard (Sakamoto Maaya), but the main source of F/F subtext is her relationship with the young photographer Maria (Nanjo Yoshino), for whom she cares deeply and must rescue on multiple occasions. However, do be warned that the one canonically queer character in the show – Alphard’s subordinate Liang Qi (Tanaka Rie), who is fixated on her boss – is handled very badly, being portrayed as a raving predatory lesbian who is mocked, rejected, and finally killed by the object of her affections. Canaan and Maria’s relationship is also framed very definitively as friendship by the end of the series, although they don’t get paired off with male characters. IIRC there’s also some fanservice but I can’t remember the details as it was a long time ago, sorry.

12. Ga-Rei: Zero (12 episodes, 2008) - Anime News Network | MyAnimeList

Back in the old days, I had heard this show talked about in the same breath as yuri classics such as Kannazuki no Miko and Mai-Hime, and, well, like those series it comes with significant caveats (though thankfully there is no sexual assault). Although it’s a prequel to the Ga-Rei manga by Segawa Hajime, the anime is basically standalone and focuses on original characters Kagura (Chihara Minori) and Yomi (Mizuhara Kaoru), the latter of whom welcomes protagonist Kagura into her family and demon-hunting squad, only to leave the team in a devastating betrayal. After the explosive opening, the series jumps back to explore the events leading up to that point; fans of director Aoki Ei’s work on Fate/Zero should note that the dark tone disappears in the third episode and never quite comes back even when things get serious. Viewers should also keep their F/F expectations in check, since despite the premise I would say the series is more plot- than character-focused, and on top of that a significant amount of time is devoted to Yomi’s relationship with her male fiancé (Yomi and Kagura have more screentime together, but there’s not much development whereas Yomi and her fiancé are given a whole romantic arc). There is one very fanservicey scene between Kagura and Yomi in a car early on (in episode 3?) which viewers may want to skip, but IIRC it’s an outlier and the rest of the series is nowhere near as bad.

Bonus Rounds

1. Sailor Moon S / Season 3 (38 episodes, 1994) (subtext) - Anime News Network | MyAnimeList

Possibly the most widely-known F/F couple in anime, Haruka and Michiru (Ogata Megumi and Katsuki Masako, respectively), make their first appearance in episode 3 of the third season as mysterious newcomers who refuse to work alongside the Sailor Senshi. Apart from being consistently framed as an ideal couple throughout (they practically cruise to victory in a couple’s contest in episode 5 of S3), they also get some juicy narrative moments, being the main subject of the excellent episodes 17 and 21 – the latter being the mid-season climax. They return in S5 but I haven’t watched that season yet.

Side note: Utena fans may be particularly interested to hear that the aforementioned Haruka-and-Michiru-centric episodes 17 and 21 are helmed by key Utena creatives. Both were written by Enokido Yoji, Utena's lead scriptwriter, while episode 17 was directed by Igarashi Takuya (who storyboarded 5 Utena episodes) and episode 21 was directed by Utena director Ikuhara Kunihiko himself.

2. Mai-Hime (26 episodes, 2004) (canon) - Anime News Network | MyAnimeList

Way back when, Mai-Hime was very popular among yuri fans for including a canonically queer female character who was in love with another female character… even though, like in Kannazuki no Miko which was broadcast the same year, she commits sexual assault against her. For those still curious, Mai-Hime starts out as a quirky fighting-monsters-and-going to school anime but turns into a battle royale where characters fight each other using robots – the twist being that the robots symbolise their love for the person most precious to them, and if destroyed, that person will die. The queer storyline comes in only in the last quarter or so, but is compellingly told and at least the queer character isn’t quite as maniacal or otherwise demonised compared to some others (looking at you, Liang Qi in Canaan). It's a fun reveal, so I won't spoil it here even if you're likely to have heard of it already.

3. Psycho-Pass (41 episodes + 3 movies, 2012) (canon) - Anime News Network | MyAnimeList

Psycho-Pass is set in a dystopian world where people are rated on their criminal tendencies; the main characters’ job as police officers is to arrest those whose tendencies exceed a certain level. The F/F is canon but very, very background; one of the surprise twists of the finale is that forensics expert Karanomori Shion (Sawashiro Miyuki), whose appearance screams “sexy doctor character” but is played with surprising warmth by Sawashiro, is actually in a relationship with seemingly aloof field officer Kunizuka Yayoi (Itou Shizuka). I only watched the first season and so can’t comment on the rest, but apparently they are still in a relationship in the third season.

4. My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! (24 episodes + movie, 2020) (canon) - Anime News Network | MyAnimeList

An adaptation of Yamaguchi Satoru’s popular light novel series, this show headed the wave of reincarnated-villainess isekai, focusing on the bumbling Catarina Claes (Uchida Maaya) – in actuality an otaku who has been reincarnated into an otome game – as she tries desperately to remove her character’s image as a villainess and thereby inadvertently attracts the attentions of many a suitor. Among this reverse harem are three female characters Maria Campbell (Hayami Saori), Mary Hunt (Okasaki Miho), and Sophia Ascart (Minase Inori).

While the female suitors’ romantic interest in Catarina is generally not undermined or played as a joke, they are not necessarily treated as equally valid options compared to the male suitors - it doesn't feel like Catarina has a real chance of ending up with any of the female characters. I've heard this starts becoming more obvious in S2 (which I haven't watched), which apparently focuses on Catarina's relationship development with one particular male suitor compared to the others. Also, the VN spinoff had 6 routes in total (all 4 male suitors + 2 original male characters) but did not include a single female route, despite being non-canon in nature.

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satorugojjo · 1 year

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The more I read the more I don’t understand the absolutely homophobic coded hate for The Sun and the Star. Nico literally shares a homophobic experience he experienced in the 40s that shaped the way he viewed himself, reflects on it, and then comes to the conclusion that’s what made him react to Cupid so badly, and THIS is something to hate??? Nico, growing, learning to share, learning to not impose isolation on himself, learning to feel his emotions and let them out, to be there for people, to miss Percy and Hazel and Jason, actually developing, and people are like “ugh so boring and unrealistic, they ruined my fav character”

Well, sorry he’s not the miserable little edgelord you all desperately want him to be. Sorry that Will actually has some very understandable flaws, sorry that Percabeth aren’t perfect, sorry that you’d read book about the experience of coming out for an Italian raised boy from the 1930s and think it’s boring, sorry that you’d read about the trauma of his Tartarus experience from HoH and go “OVERDONE”!!! This book does have flaws but it is not Nico and Will.

Every single interaction feels meaningful, the focus on emotion, growth, light, happiness, connection, love, friendship, and more is what is quintessential PJO to me. It’s not full of adventure after adventure and that’s perfectly fine to me. They’re navigating an emotional minefield. How the fuck can this fandom sit here and complain about the lack of emotional depth in Blood of Olympus and then when they do get it they’re like, “oh no no no this is the WRONG kind, I want him to stay miserable, I actually don’t want to read about his sorrow from his POV, I don’t want Nico to be MATURING” GROW UP?

Nothing about Solangelo so far feels OOC to me, and every time they do it’s actually even pointed out to us that it IS ooc, and we get to see how they feel about it. This is exactly what I expect from canonical middle school sunshine/darkness tropes.

Also, this is VERY IMPORTANT so pay fucking attention. THIS. IS. NOT. A. MAIN. PLOT. BOOK. IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE BREAKNECK PACING. If this was an anime, this would be a sweet little OVA arc. This is a side story, just the same way the Percy/Thalia/Nico story was. It’s a companion book about two side characters. Why are your expectations as high as a main series book? It’s a NICO AND WILL book, it’s not anything more or less. Another thing to remember? Canonically this is meant to be the year 2011. The RRverse is very anachronistic where current year elements feature in a timeline where it shouldn’t, but EVEN SO, it still feels at best 2015. More importantly? It’s only been a year since Cupid. A singular YEAR. For reference the pandemic started 3 whole years ago.

I can’t stand fans sometimes, you’ll jump on any bandwagon of hate without exercising a single shred of critical thinking or nuance, and then conveniently forget a whole bunch of things that are GOOD for the minor flaws this book has. This isn’t a 10/10 book, it’s probably a solid 7.5!!! Stop treating it as if it’s 3/10. And I stand by what I said before. We need more middle grade LGBT lit! Is this the BEST out there? No. Is this however bad? No. And before you guys come for me without having a molecule of reading comprehension, it’s OKAY to not like this book. It’s not okay however to make sweeping statements of hate as if everyone who enjoys this book is a blithering idiot.

#tsats #the sun and star #Nico di Angelo #will solace #solangelo #pjo #PJOverse #rick riordan #riordanverse

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tainbocuailnge · 11 months

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it's easy to dunk on people with poor reading comprehension or to look down on them (consciously or not) even if you're not actively shaming them for "not getting it" or "being stupid" but it's not actually helpful. it's a worrying development that many people (particularly many young people) are becoming resistant to the idea that complex and/or challenging books have value but it's also an understandable development, because in many cases it's a reaction to being shamed for their struggles with literacy and not given the help they would've needed to develop an adequate level of literacy.

that's not even going into what should even be considered an "adequate" level of literacy to begin with, because the truth is that a lot of people will simply never be able to read better than absolutely necessary to navigate their daily life, and this shouldn't be treated as some kind of failure on their part. the goal of literacy education should be to give people the tools for self-sufficiency.

what's worrying is not that there are a lot of people who don't engage with complex texts, but that there are a lot of people who refuse to believe that there is something to be gained from engaging with complex texts. someone doesn't have to read or understand shakespeare or kafka or what-have-you in order to live a fulfilling life, but when they become resistant to the idea that a text can have something going on beyond what's immediately apparent on the surface, they become easy targets for deception. this hinders the self-sufficiency that literacy is supposed to provide them with.

the goal of you high school language class is not just to get you to analyze texts, but to introduce you to the idea that texts can be analyzed in the first place, even if you don't go on to be particularly good at actually analyzing them yourself. you don't need to be able to read between the lines to understand that it is possible to read between the lines, and that therefore a text that seems nonsensical to you at first may simply be written for an audience of a different skill level - this is only a problem if there is a mismatch between the complexity of the text and the literacy of its target audience. an inability to read for subtext is not a personal failure, nor does the ability to read for subtext make you a better person than someone who can't. literacy is a skill, and like any skill there are people to whom it comes more easily than others.

calling people who are drawn to anti-intellectual rhetoric due to their struggles with literacy stupid is not going to encourage them to change their mind. developing media literacy and reading comprehension is something that is very difficult to do on your own, and doubly so if any attempt at trying to learn is met with derision for not already being able to do it. the problem is not people who only engage with easy texts, the problem is people growing hostile towards the idea that there is worth in engaging with more complex texts

if reading comprehension has always come naturally to you, it can be difficult to grasp how someone can fail to understand a text that you thought was easy enough to follow. I myself am guilty of snapping at people for misinterpreting me so wildly it seemed like they were doing it on purpose. you need to learn to suppress this kneejerk reaction, and instead see this frustration as common ground: you are both facing a situation where your communication skills are insufficient. what can you do to bridge this gap? how can you present this information in different ways that better suit how the other party processes information? keep in mind that this does not necessarily mean to simplify the information, because nobody likes being condescended to, and being condescended to is in many cases exactly what made these people hostile towards more complex ideas to begin with.

I don't have an easy solution, because this is a complex problem, and what helps some people will inevitably be useless to many others. but I believe fostering a culture where you won't be met with derision or ridicule for not understanding something or needing more explanation will go a long way. next time someone comments on your post with an absolutely baffling take that makes you wonder if they even read what you said, consider that maybe they are trying to engage with a text that is above their reading level, and they genuinely lack the ability to parse and retain the information you presented in the way you presented it. if you're going to respond, try to do so in good faith.

#anyway i love cuchulainn

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ao3cassandraic · 7 months

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Angels, demons, language, and culture part 4: Literalism and metaphor

Part 1 (angels are never children, and that matters), Part 2 (written language is mostly coded human rather than ethereal/occult in Good Omens), Part 3 (human writings contain useful social rules, which is partly why Aziraphale values them)

It may be time to restate @thundercrackfic's original questions?

How good is Aziraphale’s reading comprehension? How much does he understand subtext and metaphor? Because his behavior this season struck me with the impression that he didn’t really understand the books he collects. He’s clever at puzzle solving, and contains vast knowledge; but he always seems to take things at face value (when he’s not willfully misunderstanding), and refuses to give up black-and-white thinking, which would make it very difficult to analyze texts.

I think there are definite reasons to believe that reading comprehension of human literature (as defined in the question) is difficult for Aziraphale. One of them, as stated in part 1, is that Aziraphale doesn't get the tremendous advantage of childhood and its brain plasticity, which (among other things) is known to help with learning language. I'm not surprised his French is pretty bad. Learning another language from the ground up as an adult can be a cast-iron PITA (yes, experience speaking).

Another is simply that Aziraphale is not human. He's an outsider to humanity. He's fairly empathetic, and he does learn (unlike almost all his fellow angels!), but that leaves him without much of a yardstick to gauge when human literature is being literal and when it's not. There also seems to be a general angelic tendency to believe what they're told? Muriel definitely has it, Michael seems to as well, and even s1!Gabriel can only (and barely) muster skepticism on one occasion that I recall (the photo incident). I can see this making Aziraphale's reading, especially early in his existence on Earth, a good bit harder for him than reading is for, say, me. I'm used to unreliable narrators and figurative language and other sorts of clever fun productive lying. Aziraphale's acquaintance with lying is -- well -- his lies don't usually involve much metaphor? I suppose one could argue that "big sharp cutty thing" is a kenning, but not really in the human way of kennings because he only uses it the once.

Moreover, it appears (based on the s1e3 cold open, mostly) that he bops around the world quite a bit until finally settling in London (with the occasional jaunt elsewhere when he gets peckish). Nothing at his creation other than the auto-polyglottism She bestows on Her angels seems to give him any tools for navigating the bewildering variety of human cultures and customs... and literary metaphor (along with lots of other literary things) is commonly culturally-bound, culturally-specific.

I mean, if you read something (maybe in high school (or analogue) or college) that was written A Long Time Ago and/or Very Far Away, didn't it probably have a ton of what lit-critters call "apparatus" in it? Explanatory introductions, bibliography, and above all footnotes/endnotes/margin notes, many of which explain figures of speech that otherwise wouldn't make sense? Not to mention stuff like (just as an example) which local then-current political morass Dante threw this particular historical person in this particular circle of Hell for. Stuff that if you're not there, not embedded in the culture and the time, you're just plain gonna whiff. Hell, even Shakespeare editions have a ton of apparatus, and Shakespeare's in Early Modern English for pity's sake!

(Which is not to say that something has to be ancient or not-from-here to benefit from some apparatus. What is The Annotated Pratchett File if not apparatus for Discworld?)

So our peripatetic angel reading literature of whatever time he's actually in (which mostly won't have apparatus he can rely on for help) will often find himself not clued-in enough to a given human culture to completely understand its literary figures, metaphors included. And sure, that's going to lead to some misreadings and misunderstandings and overliteral takes! I can't read Dante's Inferno and understand everything in it! It takes Italianists years, if not decades, to do that!

And to make the problem even more difficult, literature feeds on itself, and on other arts as well. (Hi hi hello, comparative literature major, I totally studied various flows of literary and artistic influence in college and wouldn't trade that major for anything ever, it was the best major.) Think about all the time and effort GO meta-ists have spent of late teasing out callbacks and allusions and references in GO s2. That kind of work is also part of what Aziraphale has to do to understand fully what he reads... and it's a lot of work, even for a reader as voracious and possibly sleepless as our angel.

So yeah, in sum, I don't think Aziraphale has a perfect -- or even good -- track record on understanding what he reads. I adore him because he reads anyway! He never gives up on trying to understand! That's absolutely praiseworthy! (Crowley has something of an analogue to this in his love for human inventions. He doesn't understand how anything actually works, for the most part, but he loves it all the same.)

I think there's also an outstanding question about what Aziraphale gains from reading, a sense of social rules (Part 3) aside? Well, it's known that reading (especially fiction, especially fiction about characters who are Not Like The Reader) increases empathy. I don't know if Aziraphale reads specifically for that reason, but I'm absolutely willing to believe that fiction works on him that way, just as it does on us, even if he doesn't fully understand everything he reads. Did you fully understand everything you read as a child? Or even as an adult? I would never claim that of myself. Yet I certainly will claim that I picked up a lot of what I suppose I will call my character -- it runs deeper than personality -- and my general understanding of life (insofar as I have one) from reading.

If I had to answer why Aziraphale reads, though? I'd think back to my own childhood, as a bullied child with somewhat neglectful parents who held outsized expectations of me. Reading for me was peace, was escape, was enjoyment, was something to think about that wasn't my own unhappiness, was -- now and then, honestly not often enough -- seeing myself reflected in a book and feeling less alone. I hope and believe that human literature and music served similar purposes for our poor angel.

#good omens #good omens meta #aziraphale #language and culture

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archipithecus · 9 months

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Friends at the Table is a podcast focused on critical worldbuilding, smart characterization, fun interaction between good friends, and asking "what if X was Y? what if W could do Z?"

anyways here's a non-comprehensive selection of some times FatT asked good hypotheticals

(spoilers for Autumn in Heiron, Marielda, Winter in Heiron, COUNTER/Weight, Twilight Mirage, Sangfielle, and some Bluff City i think) (i know Spring, Partizan, and Palisade must also have good "what if X was Y?" but i'm still catching up) (this got way long so i'm putting it behind a readmore) (shoutout to Search at the Table at https://curiosity.cat-girl.gay/ for letting me do this) (also to Transcripts at the Table for writing this all down in the first place)

KEITH: What if I was a snow...hawk… ART: What if you're like, a Dr. Seuss animal? KEITH: Yeah! What if I was a star-bellied sneetch?

KEITH: (laughing) What if the bird was a can opener!

AUSTIN (as Zaktrak): It's like, what if a, what if a factory or train or a windmill could read a book?

AUSTIN (CONT.): And then he, he looks up, he actually has like a very… his build is kind of like, angular and… not thin in terms of like, weak? But he has a sort of… androgynous character about him, in terms of his like, what you would think of as like his body structure. And… very beautiful blue eyes. He’s sort of like, what if David Bowie was super black.

AUSTIN: And that's kind of like, the picture you get of her, is like, What if Fero was like, 30% less hyperactive? Still way more hyperactive than everybody else in-- the world? (laughter) but like, just a little more in tune, with the world.

AUSTIN: What if fire was matte?

ART: What if a—what if a 90s after school special needed some graffiti

AUSTIN: Yeah. He asks you, um... watching what unfolds, and there's, there's, it's--and this is the fuckin' nerdiest thing I'm ever gonna say; it's like what if A-ha's Take On Me was an AMV? Was an anime music video?

AUSTIN: Ali’s character, how did she describe her character, “what if Han Solo used to be Beyonce?”

AUSTIN: It’s like, what if the American government was just another American company?

AUSTIN: It’s like what if holograms did gifs, basically?

ART: You how like Han Solo’s always talking to the Millenium Falcon, but what if the Millenium Falcon-- AUSTIN: Could talk back? ART: Had a chance of, yeah, of deciding he was angry.

SYLVIA: For example. Like just p - yeah, what if they have psychic assassins there. Oh! What if this planet’s an alien? What if this planet is a psychic assassin? Which is a great sentence I just said.

AUSTIN: Yeah, I should note that this is also like "What if the Super Bowl was attended by high fashion models?", right?

AUSTIN: We don’t get a lot of elderly non-binary people. And so Saint Auger is like, what if someone you knew from Portland was 82?

AUSTIN: It’s almost like, what if a crown could be a dunce cap?

AUSTIN: It's like- what if there was a really enterprising twelve year old, who like, [laughs] made a physiology- uh, person- a physiology like, model, but with dirt and rocks and sticks. Also there's no face, the face is also just one of this solid black rock plates.

AUSTIN: And again, there’s just light streaming in through—I think this room is mostly, like, does not have a huge window, but it does have little eyelet windows at the top of the, towards the ceiling, that run horizontally along the room, and just like, bright—it’s almost like, what if colour could be shadow? Do you know what I mean? Like, what if instead of it being that a shadow crosses your face, it is this prismatic glow that moves across the group of you as this thing crawls around this space station.

AUSTIN: It’s like white and blue, there are stars, it- you know, I think that the- it’s, it looks like the way you might imagine like, what if the UN had spaceships?

AUSTIN: What if you mixed your- your selfhood, with the notion of wings. Or the notion of flight. Not just flying. That’s where we’re going.

AUSTIN: This giant battleship that’s like ‘what if a millipede instead of legs had guns and what if it was all around it’?

AUSTIN: This thing is like the size of like a major city. This thing is like, what if Manhattan was a battleship. And instead of buildings it had guns. Except now they’re made of weird black glass.

AUSTIN: The first time he showed up I described him as what if Canderous Ordo decided to have a robot body one day? And slowly began to replace it.

AUSTIN: There’s a little— Yes, it’s like what if a cow— what if Christian Slater was playing a cowboy from New Jersey, and also was Canderous Ordo. And also he eats through his hands.

AUSTIN: There is just this like… I think it’s just metal unfolding across space. Like, at some point Volition just kind of spat out a, a, almost, it looks like a cloud of ink but instead of ink, it’s metal. And it’s just unfolding indefinitely in space like a huge— like what if Akira, what if at the end of Akira when Tetsuo turns into a weird flesh monster? It was that but various types of metal, just like bubbling all over the place throughout space, and I don’t know how you deal with that! But suddenly in the middle of the Mirage there is just this, this ink splatter, this, this gaseous, you know, spread of metal.

AUSTIN: And it’s like — again, it’s like a pistol — it’s like what if a pistol was also like a curved sword, like almost like a scimitar or something?

JANINE: What if we do a live show, but the only live show we ever do is at Bakucon?

ART: Um, let me tell you, this is a nice coat, you guys. Um, I think it’s sort of like what if… What if a leather duster jacket was like an ephemeral idea.

AUSTIN: It’s like … I think the way I described it was, what if there was a Companion Cube that could have its corners pulled apart and in the middle is a weird glowing sphere?

AUSTIN: He has this dope, like, “What if the Millenium Falcon was a deep V?” Instead of just that little bit at the top, it goes really deep down. Or like, “What if Pacman was really long?” You know what I mean?

AUSTIN: Okay. You find him like, rolled under the bottom of his, uhh, or like on a, it’s not rolled under, he’s on like a little, like cart that has a pneumatic lift, or it’s like, it’s like a, it’s like a robot that walks around. It has like- it’s like a Boston Dynamics- like what if a Boston Dynamics, like four-legged robot was also a thing you laid on top of? Like one of those carts that goes underneath a car, to repair it. You know what I’m talking about?

AUSTIN (as Morning’s Observation): [exhales thoughtfully] Like what if milk was a solid.

AUSTIN: But it still has that ribbony-quality? [chuckles] It still has the sound of fabric rubbing on fabric? But is definitely amplified a great deal, probably? And also, we know it’s sharp, so there’s probably some… sharpness to it? You know… there’s probably, like… what if a ribbon could be a sword you pull out of a sheath?

AUSTIN: And also, Saint Sommer is a big lion man. Saint Sommer is, like… Skein. And is a big… a big… like, a big lion man. Not like Lion-o from Thundercats. Like… what if Scar could… had a big human body? Was, like… What if Scar was cut?

KEITH: And it sort of like, snap! Like, that, it's like… when we were talking about what the sound it makes, I was picturing… what if folding a blanket sounded like sheet metal?

AUSTIN: Yeah, yeah. I don’t know I think it’s like, I think this is very much like, what if the Venom symbiote was made of thread, right?

AUSTIN: So maybe it's like a- like imagine, what if a mop could just mop by itself.

AUSTIN: I won’t talk more about that stuff, but you already saw the big picture of “what if Connecticut was a space ocean,” so, you have at least some context there.

AUSTIN: It’s huge. It’s the size of a continent, right? It’s “What if South America was a big circle?” It’s “What if Europe and Eurasia was a big circle?”, constantly cast on this planet. And, you know, from space it kind of looks—not flat necessarily, right, because it’s a curved planet, it’s a sphere, or spherical, but, you know, it’s flat.

AUSTIN: It’s like what if Texas stood up.

AUSTIN (as Morning’s Observation): “What if cars brought things to you instead of bringing you to things?”

AUSTIN: It’s just like a very bright, colorful—like, what if Steven Universe did the Sailors of the Ark? What if that team did it? It’s very good.

AUSTIN: It’s like what if it’s a can opener that does that. Like a living can opener like. Grrrngaaah! I’m going fucking open holes in things! Grrngaah!

AUSTIN: Imagine that they're almost- in my mind they're like what if a martini shaker was a piston.

AUSTIN: It's like what if you could package a sunset, y'know? Into like a cube

AUSTIN: I can't believe we started this recording by looking at pies [KEITH and DRE laugh] that make me hurt and ended with ‘what if all foods could be jelly juice?’.

AUSTIN: I saw a big buffalo picture and I was like what if that was a person, that looks cool.

ART: But what if some of these skeletons are like, sick of this shit?

AUSTIN: I think I pitched this show as like: what if Ghost in the Shell but-but magic and witches instead of cyborgs and stuff?

JACK: So, out come this nascent organization who we’re calling Shapeknights. Who are -- I think the easiest way to say it is “cowboys for trains?” They are, like -- what if instead of the cowboy riding alongside the train on his horse, he was corralling the train? Or he was trying to understand the train, or was trying to --

ALI: I think Marn, herself is a little bit more like—like what if a capybara was a siamese cat?

KEITH: Yeah. So, I wholeheartedly recommend this movie, but if not, if you don't know what I'm talking about with the goggles, at least look at that. ‘Cause it's a good image. It's sort of like, what if you had a jeweler's loupe that had a jeweler's loupe that had a jeweler's loupe?

ART: It’s like, what if the antagonist won the Mummy movie right, this is what happens-

KEITH: What if instead of one, big, beautiful hat I have two small, beautiful hats?

KEITH: Like what if they made headphones just for being cool at a party?

KEITH: What if you make pizza by opening the box? That it was an empty box until you opened it.

AUSTIN: What if insects were made of teeth?

JACK: She’s the fuckin’ person of the train. She’s like what if a train could output a person.

KEITH: What if the train was a nice train?

ART: What if a Madame Tussauds came to life?

AUSTIN: What if fire could be a ghost?

AUSTIN: Looking through this here, sounds like what you wrote here was “What if a dolphin was like a velociraptor?”

AUSTIN: They’re hitched. Yeah, they've been hitched. Three of them have been hitched. And I said horse, but I want you to imagine is what if…what if a shrimp were a horse?

JACK: You sort of just like rise up the slope. It's a bit like what if a train was an escalator.

AUSTIN: What if Beyonce was Poison Ivy?

AUSTIN: All my cards on the table, Millennium Black is like what if Blade stopped being a vampire hunter and started being a casino owner.

AUSTIN: He's sort of like what if Alex Jones wasn't terrible

#friends at the table

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sadie-the-dragon-slayer · 9 months

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Self / Independent Learner's Guide to Language Learning From Zero

-a mini study plan I used this for Spanish, French and Italian, it is my favourite way of starting to learn. It won't teach you the langauge but if this is your first time, if you feel confused and don't know where to begin, this is for you! -this is kinda romance langauge based but might give you ideas if you are learning from a different family too -this is very notebook / writing based since i prefer learning that way Step 1: Preperation

First of all, ask yourself "do i already have some amount of immersion in this langauge?" As humans, we learn from immersion a lot. Songs, but especially visual media is incredibly heplful. I never studied japanese but after watching a few animes i picked up 5-10 random words. Passive vocabulary, being familiar to most common words will be your biggest friend. If the answer is no, before start studying ANYTHING do some immersion. e.g. I watched dix pour cent for French and learned arrêt which means stop because characters were shouting to each other all the time.

After making sure you have some immersion or if you already have some, PREPARE YOUR RESOURCES. Make a file in your computer, reblog tumblr posts, save links. Search for pdfs in google. (x language a1 pdf / x langauge a1 grammar book / x language a1 reading) Free PDF's and and useful websites. The more the merrier. Why? Because when you actually start learning you will slowly realise them half of them are not actually useful, too advance, too simple, not in your preffered style etc. You will en up using same handful amount of resources again and again but before that, you have to TRY EVERYTHING. You are unique and so will be your learning process.

Google x language A1 curriculum. (you can try adding "pdf" at the end of sentence as well) It "probably/ hopefully" exists. If you can't find that way, learn which offical exam is necessary (e.g. for French it's DELF/DALF, in english there is IELTS and so many more) If you are lucky, you can find a langauge teaching enstitute's curriculum and you can find in what order they teach things. This was very helpful for me because sometimes you don't know what to study next, or just want to visualise what do you need to learn, it is helpful. I printed one out and paste it to the back cover of my notebook. You won't need this one YET. I'll explain in a second. Keep reading.

Get a notebook. I don't prefer books while learning from zero because it will be filled with vocabulary you don't know. My pereference is no squares no lines empty ass notebook and colorful pens. I'm a person of shitty doodles. I love to draw and visualise things. It really helps my brain. In A1, your knowledge is absouletly zero and your brain is about the explode with realising GREAT MASS of knowledge you need to learn in order to be "fluent" . So keep things away from being "too much" if you want to avoid a burnout.

Set a timer. If you want to avoid burnout, the secret is always quit when you feel like you can go another round happily. Quit when you are dopamine high. If you study too much, next day you'll wake up tired, want to rest etc. and make it harder for you to create a habit. I did this mistake with French by studying 4-5 hours everyday for around 30 days. I completed my challenge, completly quit and then didn't come back for MONTHS.

You will be re-studying A LOT. Language learning is repetition. You will start by studying "the A1 curriculum". But, because this is your first time your focus will be on the vocabulary and general comprehension. You are trying to re-wire your brain, and learn a different way of thinking and living. It's not easy. It will take time. It will be painful at times. But it is 100% worth it.

After you finished studying your curriculum, you'll take a short break and then study the curriculum AGAIN. For a second time. Because you already know the basics, this time you will be able to focus more on the little things you weren't able to comprehend the last time. e.g. articles or whatever little frustaring thing your langauge has. Also focus more on basic prononciation and especially reading aloud. Find a realistic text-to-reader. Copy-paste a text. Listen and repeat.

Get a new Youtube and Instagram account dedicated to langauge study. How many good resources exists and where they are is really depens on which langauge you are learning. For english, youtube is better. For French, instagram is better. You have to see for yourself. If you get a seperate account for your langauge algorith will learn faster and you won't be distracted by other stuff. Short form engaging videos are the best for absolute beginners. Re-watch things and try to repeat them out loud. It's called shadowing and is your future best friend.

If you want to learn how to speak, you first need to how to write. If you can't write sentences without looking at google translate (or reverso) you won't be able to make up sentences in your head. If you want to learn how to write, your first need to learn how to read. You need to start in this order but also don't be perfectionist. Do it even if you do it wrong. They will be fixed eventually and won't stick. Record yourself speaking even if the text you are reading is 90% google translated. Why? Beacuse speaking will enhance your vocabulary in a way no other thing can and that's the core of reading. So this isn't a linear thing. It's actually a circle!

Step Two! Ok, Sadie, i got my notebooks and read through all the warnings where do i start? *First page: [] means written is target langauge

[x notebook] x= your target langauge

Add something cute and make you feel happy to open up the notebook. It can a drawing, a picture, anything. First page is your entrance to your new home. Make it welcoming.

*[My name is X. I am Y years old. I live in Z.] *Greetings. Main articles if there are any. Yes, no, please, thank you. *What is your name, what do you do for living, how are you, where are you from, how old are you, how many langauges do you speak, numbers from 0-100. If there are multiple way of saying these things and probably there are, just write one. You will eventually learn others. Baby steps. *write a basic ass text of two people having a conversation asking and answering these questions.

*the alphabet and how to pronounce the letters. basic letter combinations that change into a different sound. a youtube video about this 100% exists.

*personal pronouns and if there is a "am/is/are" verb the conjugation of it. (in spanish there is two unfortunately) *artciles and basic noun endings. a couple exemples of nouns in x form but takes y article. *first 5 most common verbs. learn the conjugation, try writing basic ass sentences. (e.g. to come, go, have, speak)

*three more verbs (e.g. to eat, can, to want)

*take some time to fully comprehend. check your curriculum list to look and see if you want to add anything. e.g.for spanish that can be ser vs estar, for spanish is can be "how to ask questions in french" becaue it's way harder compared to other langauges.

*take some break from grammar and learn some vocab maybe. it can be colors, or feelings. (i am sad, i am hungry etc.)

*start studying most common verbs. usually a form of categorization exists. usually it's verb ending. (unless it's a language like turkish where every verb either ends with -mek or -mak lol.) Start with 10- 15 most common verbs. You will also be learning some vocabulary by default. (try to stick to regular verbs if you can, if not that's fine) (Do not learn any verbs you won't be able to use immediately.)

*Learn basic adjectives and how they work so you can form more detailed sentences.

*After comprehending how to form basic positive negative sentences and some verbs, congratulate yourself, because you deserve it! *Learn how tell time. "What time is it? It's x'o clock."

*learn clothing and how to simply describe physical look e.g. hair color, eye color, beard, glasses...

*learn the verbs of daily routine. be able to write a generic ass "i wake up, i do breakfast, i eat lunch at school, i sleep" sort of text.

*demonstratives. this that. these. those. you can add some vocabulary you like. this is a cat. this is a tree. you can add placement adjectives now or later. (the cat is under the sofa. the bird is on the table etc.)

*Now you know a lot of things! Take some time and focus a bit more on the vocab, let your brain process things, do some passive immersion. avoid a burnout at all costs. *learn how to say "there is" (if you want more vocab transportation and city centre themes can be included.) *learn how to talk about your hobbies. This is the generic A1 curriuculum. You are able to understand basic things, you have a generic comprehension. That's all it takes to be considered A1. If you want to pass it though, what you need is a good grammar source. For French and Spanish Kwiziq was very useful. I couldn't find a good online grammar resource for Italian yet. (please ask more experienced langblrs for recs.) Slowly learn more vocab (since A1 is more vocab based. If you hate Anki and Quizlet stuff check Linguno. Actually check Linguno anyway it's a banger and i'm gonna die on that hill.)

If you don't have have native friend to ask questiones and you don't have any ethical concerns ChatGPT can be useful. I'm using it for French for months. Why are we using this particle here, why this and not that, can you give me some example sentences.... you can play guess the animal, ask for writing prompts and then make ChatGpt find and explain your mistakes to you. It's very handy.

*Don't be scared to share about your journey on Tumblr and most importantly ENJOY!

#language study #language learning #study guide #langblr #beginner #how to

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whumpbby · 4 months

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Tbh i really hate when ppl act as if Jiang Cheng was "rotten from the start" and never actually cared about Wei Wuxian as a brother. Like, in the latter's case we can see he cares very much but that care is very much mixed in with many negative feelings, it's like when you love someone but they hurt you but you still love them, you want things to go back to the way they were before but they can't and they won't. On the former it's pretty much canon that he was an ok if high strung young man and losing everyone he ever loved in very close proximity to each other is what made him be the way he is today, he's not evil (he'd be hotter if he was) he's just angry and bitter for very valid reasons

I think it takes an extreme case of Protagonist Bias to think that. And not even following the actual protagonist's thought process - just being biased on their account in some sort of a projection. Kids these days got to used to having their bad guys colour-coded.

People are so desperate to cast a villain to the Happy Couple they will grasp at any straw to justify their opinion. They will ignore every piece of text that explains in detail why things are happening and why he's acting the way he is - even to the point of ignoring the protagonist explaining what happened and how. They will literally ignore the protagonist they're wanting to stan just so that they can have their villain. Wei Wuxian needs to be massively nerfed and woobifed for the whole shitshow to start making sense. Literally, a man with no agency! Poor helpless victim! The poorest little baby, no one suffered as he did!:(

Meanwile, Jiang Cheng's biggest sin in the novel?

He's not nice.

That's it. He tried to protect Wei Wuxian from his mother. He did all he could to bring Wei Wuxian home after the war against his best interests. He walked away from Lan Zhan being a dick when he could have easily caused him problems. He only ever fought Wei Wuxian when it was either staged or he was attacked first (in the much brought up ancestral shrine scene that people don't seem to have actually read).

But he's not nice about it. He's not even stoicly stiff like the ever-amazing Lan Wangji (who only ever cared about one thing in his life, and it's the man he wanted to fuck roughly in the bushes-_-).

It was barely a decade from having his whole extended family horrifically murdered, so obviously he should be fine by this point. (We can ignore the main plot of the decade-in the making-revenge-plot, that's not important, that's not a theme at all!) At least he should learn to repress his trauma! Because that ended great for the protagonist, right?:)

You need an intense case of lack of comprehension to miss the fact that, until the very moment of the Core Reveal, every bit of information Jiang Cheng had available to him pointed directly to Wei Wuxian being at fault for the tragedy his life became. The only doubt cast upon that conclusion was the spark of love that he could not kill. JC trusted Wei Wuxian for as long as he could. He trusted him - against a myriad of signs that he maybe shouldn't have - until the man killed his brother in law.

That's where any sane person would stop and reconsider.

And yet he was still willing to be convinced otherwise - until his sister died in his arms.

Like, this is what it took for JC to snap.

If someone says that Jiang Cheng was "rotten from the start" that only tells me they have skipped the whole fourth of the book that tells us in detail why Jiang Cheng wasn't a bad kid and how much he loved his family and Wei Wuxian. It tells me that they are here only for the romance and can't see anything else, certainly not character development (why would they? Wanxian don't develop throughout the story in any impactful way except of "oh, hey, we can be together and not care about anyone else - just like we did it before, but now with fucking included!"). It's like people who don't read books cannot comprehend the fact the author thought about this shit and put it there on purpose. It's not something that just happened to fill the pages between the Romance bits for the word count. That's, like, the actual meat of the story? These people have the critical thought capacity of a fucking tiktoker-_-

The author is telling us: look at these kids that were raised in a broken family and how it affects them as teens and young adults. How it affected their relationships with the people they love and demolished their self-worth. Look how a broken family can leave it's children scarred for life!

The idiots online: one is an innocent angel that never did anything wrong and the other an evil, selfish and hateful brat, got'cha! I am very smart!

-__-

#i said what i said #mdzs #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #getting tired of people who can't comprehend plot more complicated than a 4-panel cartoon going 'you didn't read the novel!'#as if that means their shitty takes have any relationship with reality #there we go

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fireheartwraith · 6 months

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I feel like I should explain ENEM, aka why the brazilians have been grieving since the date of the november 4th event was announced

ENEM stands for Exame Nacional do Ensino Médio (National High School Exam). It happens once a year since 1998, and, although at first it was just to gage how the education was on a national level, it soon became a gateway to university.

The test takes place on two days (that are now two consecutive sundays), from 13:30 to 19:00, and each day the student has to answer 90 questions. The first day is always human sciences and languages (Portuguese language and literature, foreign language (English or Spanish), history, geography, sociology, and philosophy) plus an essay. Nobody knows what the essay is about until the moment of the exam, so there’s always a lot of speculation. The theme is always about a social issue: last year's, for exemple, was "the challenges for the appreciation/respect of the traditional communities and peoples of Brazil", like the quilombolas and natives. The second day tests the students' knowledge on maths and exact sciences (biology, physics, and chemistry).

ENEM is famously a very "read-y" test. Every question requires a lot of reading comprehension, interpretation, and interdisciplinarity. Maybe the internet has done americans wrong, but the SAT's look so easy in comparison. We always make fun of them by saying Harvard it's not actually hard, it's just expensive.

Which brings me to my next point: college! The grade you get on the ENEM can get you into a university using three different programs

SISU: gets you into a public (and free) university (the best university in the country is public btw, University of São Paulo - USP)

PROUNI: gets you a scholarship in a private university (it can get you a 100% scholarship but you need a VERY good grade)

FIES: student loans

And, obviously, the better your grades, the better your chances. You are graded from 0 to 1000 in every subject and also get a general grade. So if you want to study physics, you don’t need to do great in literature, but you should still try to get a decent grade. The more competitive courses, like medicine (there's no such thing was pre-med), can get down to the decimals, especially in prestigious schools.

ENEM isn't the only test you can do to get into a university, though! Some schools have their own test. USP, for exemple, has the FUVEST, so you can get in through either test, but FUVEST is always paid and you can only do it in, like, three cities in São Paulo, while the ENEM happens countrywide, which is why it's so important. The tests are called "vestibular" and the people taking them are "vestibulando".

Therefore, most 3rd year high school students take the test. It's basically a rule to do it if you want to get into a university, but if you are not on your last year of high school, you have to pay to take it (my case). Some people have to go to another city to take the test, it's a whole thing.

This year, the first day of ENEM is happening on Sunday, November 5th. And QSMP's most important event so far is happening on Saturday night, November 4th. May the Lord have mercy on our souls

You can check out the "atrasados do enem" for some giggles though. It's the "event" that happens because some people always arrive after the gates close at 13:00 and then break down crying in the middle of the street. It got so famous people started hiring actors to pose as vestibulandos just to go viral.

Now you know a bit more about brazilian culture!

Here's a link to download last year's exam if you want: first day | second day

#qsmp #qsmp event #brasil #brazil #brazilian culture #cultura brasileira #enem #brazil: putting ENEM in enemies since 1998 #high school #university

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erodasfishtacos · 2 years

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The Only Thing That Matters

Prompt (from kofi commission): Easton’s birth!

Word count: 10k+

warnings: angst, smut, childbirth, minors dni

if you liked please reblog, recommended, like, and come talk to me about it! (this is what motivates me to continue writing)!

i write for FREE - I am also trying to steer away from paetron so everyone can have access my stories - so if you would like to support my work, you can donate here.

authors note: i am so excited for you guys to read this. i worked my ass off on this! i hope you guys are a little SHOOK by the plot 😙

It unusual for the two to fight.

They weren't a couple who participated in pointless power struggles or irrational debates, just occasionally get annoyed with one another, if that.

It was unfortunate that one of their first major argument was occuring when they had so many exciting events happening in their lives.

College graduation was looming over them, after months of studying for exams, it was nearly time to take the finals.

Harry wasn't concerned about studying, finals weren't important to him, not with the draft ceremony only two days away.

YN had never seen Harry so high-strung or stressed out - he was usually very carefree and not worried about a single thing enough to make him on edge like he has been for the past few weeks.

His nose wasn't buried deep in his textbook for sports management, no, it was constantly on his phone to read articles and watch videos about the upcoming event and experts opinion on who was going to be first pick.

YN was not quite sure why he was so anxious, nearly 99.9% of predictions were that he was going to be the first choice.

It wasn't a secret he was already to be predicted to be one of the best players of all time, of course he was going to be picked first - any team would be idiotic not too.

It was the pressure that Harry was getting from every aspect of his life, his coaches, teammates, and the media.

The most upsetting part of this was that Harry had become so overly stressed out and pressured that he was drawn thin - he was constantly between working out, practicing, photoshoots, and interviews for ESPN and Sports Center.

YN can't remember the last time that he had gotten more than four hours of sleep, other than their 'date night' which was a evening they set baseball and studying aside to watch a movie with the promise of sex afterwards - especially because that wasn't happening quite as much with how exhausted Harry was.

However, not even fifteen minutes into the movie, he had his head tucked into the crook of YN's neck and was snoring softly with his shower-fluffy hair tickling her cheek.

She couldn't be upset because she knew how tired he must be, especially if he turned down sex because that had literally never happened before.

It wasn't anything they couldn't manage together, they tried to end up at least sleeping in the same bed at the end of the night - almost exclusively at the frat.

It wasn't until a day before they was going to fly from North Carolina to Miami for the ceremony and following festivities that things started to go wrong.

YN had three, yes, three final papers plus an article for a journalism class. The other two of her classes were comprehensive exams that took a lot of studying of all the information they learned in a semester.

Not to mention the journalism article that had been taking endless hours of research, interviews, and deep diving into archives of the library to get done.

It was always planned that YN would go with him, of course she would, he wouldn't rather have anyone else there to support him.

Not to be dramatic, but Harry knew that he would be marrying YN after the second date, it was just a matter of time before he bought her a ring.

He actually already had a plan of how he was going to propose.

After his first game in the major leagues, he would bring her out onto the field, just the two of them, and get down on one knee - fireworks lighting the sky right afterwards.

But plans rarely turn out that way.

YN had just stayed up for nearly sixteen hours straight, switching between studying flashcards and typing away viciously at one of the many papers.

Her lids were heavy, making it more difficult to blink at the bright screen, her stomach was in knots so she hadn't eaten recently.

Harry had been at a meeting with his management team, there was a lot of coordination that went into making sure everything went smoothly.

It had been an itching thought in the back of her mind that she wasn't possibly going to be able to go to Miami, not with everything due but she was still praying she could get it done.

Then that dream was obliterated into tiny, nonrepairable shards when her laptop died - unexpectedly.

She hadn't realized that the charger was not pushed in enough to provide the power to do so, which meant that she had just lost nearly four hours of work that her groggy mind had not saved.

Still hopeful, she quickly plugs it back in and pulls up her document again - only to be confronted with the thousands of words she was missing from her writing.

Fuck.

YN can't do anything for a moment but let her head drop in her hands and internally scream at the situation.

Tears build up from the frustration, the disappointment, but also the realization that she is definitely not going to be able to go to Miami.

Harry had been so excited, he'd been talking about bringing YN with him since they first started dating - over two years ago.

She knew he had set up dinner reservations, a couples massage, went out of his way to make this special for her despite the fact that the trip was supposed to be for him.

YN knew she needed to prioritize her education, she knew that Harry was her soulmate and she hoped they would get married soon but nothing in life was guaranteed.

She didn't work hard all of her life to get a good education just to be a trophy wife, she needed to be able to support herself if she had to be on her own.

Harry had also been on edge even more so than lately and YN knew this news wasn't going to make the situation any better.

The night unfortunately does not go any better after this.

Harry opens the door to her dorm room, his hair is damp from a locker room shower and his shirt is sticking to his skin from putting it on before he was completely dried off.

He had his practice duffel over his shoulder and an annoyed expression decorating his face, not the usual puppy dog excitement when he sees her after a long day.

"Why are you here?" Harry asks abruptly, voice rough from a long day of yelling - he doesn't drop his bag or make any effort to make himself comfortable.

YN looks at him, perplexed, why wouldn't she be in her own dorm room?

He sees the confusion on her face, huffing out like he's impatient he has to explain it to her, "I texted you like six times to meet me at the frat. I'm tired and don't want to sleep on your tiny bed. C'mon."

She didn't appreciate the attitude that was interwoven between his words.

She could understand and appreciate that he was stressed up but it didn't mean she had to put up with the backlash of it.

"I can't tonight, H. My computer died and I lost almost an entire essay that is due," YN explains, pushing back her chair from the desk so she can spin around and cross her arms to let him know that she meant business.

"Just come do it at the frat," Harry states, like it's the obvious solution, "I'm tired and I'm not tryin' to have a back and forth with you."

YN's eye bug at him in disbelief, scoffing as she says,"Then sleep by yourself tonight. It's too insane to concentrate over at the frat. I need to get this done."

"We need to talk about the trip," Harry replies, his tongue kissing the back of his teeth, "Figure out the details."

She takes a deep breath, it's not ideal to tell him right now when he's already crabby but she didn't want the guilt weighing on her for any longer than necessary.

"I'm not going to be able to go," YN's voice softened, tears prickling at the corner of her eyes as she looks down at her feet to avoid the hurt flashing across his face.

"What?" Harry drops his bag and strides over, he kneels in front of her, finger coming under her chin so he can make eye contact, "Darling, I've been a bit short lately. I'm just-"

She stops him with her finger brushing against his plush lips, "It has nothing to do with that. I just don't have enough time to finish all these finals if I go this weekend. I have to put school first."

Harry's eyes narrow, nearly into slits as he processes what she's telling him, pushing back to stand up, "I want you to come with me."

"I want to finish my college degree that I worked my ass off for," YN bites back, tears boiling over as anger sweeps through her body at his stubbornness.

"Why are you acting like you're going to actually need to work?" Harry asks in true bewilderment, "I'm estimated to be the highest paid player ever and this is what you're worried about?"

YN grinds her teeth because he is being so fucking obtuse right now, "I need my own livelihood, incase things dont work out. I'm not saying they won't but I need to be able to stand on my own."

"What the fuck are you even talkin' about?" He replies with more frustration than she's ever heard out of him off-field, "You know we're going to be together. I'll always support you, even if something happens."

YN throws her hands up in agitation, "I can't believe that you're being so dense. You care more about me attending this event than graduating from college. Do you even hear yourself?"

"Do you just not want to go?" Harry accuses as he stands back up and straightens his back - rigid and cold, "You should have been more responsible and had them done by now. Not acting surprised when they're due. You've known about Miami since last summer."

"I am so supportive of you, literally even second of the day. I don't appreciate your lack of understanding about this," YN tells him, trembling with a mixture of agitation and desperation for him to understand.

"Because I need you there with me!" Harry booms, louder than he's ever been with her, "I don't understand how you can't bloody see it! I literally planned three days of shit for us to do afterwards from massages to rooftop dinners and you're now refusing to go because a fucking essays you poorly prepared for."

A sense of guilt starts to sink into her stomach.

Even though she was angry at him for the way he's reacting to the news, she understands how much he must be hurting that she isn't going with him.

"Harry, your mom and Gemma are going. It's not like you'll be going alone," YN tries to remind him but his jaw is clenched and eyes fiery - past the point of conversation or reasoning.

"Right. Well fuck me for wanting the woman I want to spend my life by my side during the most improtant night of my life," He replies with a disgusting amount of sarcarsm laced through his words.

"You're being unreas-" She tries to argue but is cut off by his loud tone again.

"You know what. Have fun writing your essays. I'll see you when I get back from Miami," He cuts her off before slinging his duffel back over his shoulder and heading towards the door.

YN has tears streaming down her cheeks as she watches her boyfriend.

He glances back at her before leaving, reminding her, "I love you, more than anything but right now I am so fucking furious with you."

And then the door shuts louder than necessary.

YN finds herself wiping her cheeks with the sleeve of her sweatshirt constantly through the night as she trudges through the essays.

She half expects Harry to come back, apologize and just hold her for a bit, maybe even a text message but nothing comes and that's how she knows he's more angry with her than he's ever been.

Miami was only a day away and her heart shattered when she realized that Harry had no plans on seeing her that day before he left.

YN ends up drifting off to sleep with her head resting in her arms at her desk, only barely conscious at some point to move to her small bed.

Harry is always the first one to text in the morning because he's always up the earliest because of his beginning of day workouts.

When YN rouses from her sleep, disoriented and just feeling off, out of habit she grabs her phone to text her boyfriend - realizing that he hadn't sent her one.

A wave of nausea hit her at that moment, having her flee from her bed to the bathroom to empty her stomach into the toilet bowl.

She stays there for at least fifteen minutes, trying to breathe through the turning of her stomach.

It ebbs after awhile, allowing YN to jump in the shower and clean herself up, she just felt absolutely awful - emotionally and physically.

YN chalked it up to the stress, the fighting, the amount of work she still had sitting ahead of her at laptop.

Throughout the day, YN checks on Harry through their 'Find My Friends', he's busy from his location changing to the stadium, gym, across town at his manager's office, talking to scouts, and she knows he's not purposely ignoring her except for via phone.

YN found herself running to the bathroom once more around noon due to her stomach just churning but she figured that the stress of everything was really getting to her.

Quite a few mornings over the past week and half, she'd been waking up with an upset stomach because of all the pressure of the semester coming to an end.

Since then, she'd been cautiously sipping on a ginger ale and trying to get her nerves under control so that it didn't happen again.

She can't lie and say that she isn't constantly checking her phone to see if Harry has texted her or called - she would be shocked if he actually left for Florida without another word to her, that would be too out of character for him.

And she's right.

It's nearly nine at night, her bum hurts from being sat at her desk for the whole day and there's still so much more work to do.

There's a knock at her door, a bit harsh, and she knows exactly that it's her annoyed boyfriend.

YN gets up to unlock the door, she's relieved because she thinks that he's forgiven her and he finally understands why she can't go.

Instead when she swings open the door, Harry who looks dead on his feet doesn't make a move to come in - his shoulders are broad and tense, he looks unhappy.

"Hi," YN starts but doesn't get her full greeting out before being interrupted.

"Did you finish all your work?" Harry asks bluntly, raspy and sharp, "It shouldn't have taken you more than the day, right?"

"H," She replies softly, "I'm sorry, baby. I really really am. I just can't go. It’s not all going to be done by tonight.”

Harry swallows harshly, jaw flexing as he processes her words, "I can't believe you. You know how important this is to me, how important you are to me. Can't believe you're really fuckin' doing this to me."

YN has never seen Harry this upset with her.

Sure, she sees him rage and act like an absolute nightmare on the field but when it came to them - they'd really fought, sure they got annoyed with each other but not like this.

"Harry, you're acting like I am purposely not wanting to go!" YN exclaims with a tinge of fire, her tone raising just the slightest at the offense.

"You know what, have fun with your papers. I'm glad that all your stuff is so much more important than me," He bites back, his eyes are livid and his voice is louder than hers now.

"Yes, I am so sorry I think it's more important to graduate college than go to Flroida for a weekend," YN replies sarcastically, her hand squeezing the doorknob.

"You bloody know I'm going to be first round pick! You fuckin' know I'll be making so much money I won't ever have to worry. Neither will you because it will be your money too!" Harry huffs out, his anger rising as his neck starts to flush pink.

"It's not just about money, H. I'm not going to stand here and argue with you. You're being unreasonable," She shakes her head, truly though, she justs wants to give him a hug and tell him she's sorry for letting him down.

Harry just stares at her for a moment, deciding his next words before saying, "I'm being unreasonable? I think it's pretty fuckin' reasonable why I'm upset but you've made up your mind apparently. Have a great weekend."

The last sentence was coated in a fake happiness before he's pushing off the doorframe and turning on his heel.

YN slams the door to get across the point that she's not in the wrong and she's just as angry with him.

When she finally shuts her laptop screen, it's late and she has a headache - she misses her boyfriend because this is the longest they've went without talking and she just wanted to sleep in the same bed as him.

But they’re both stubborn, she isn't going to fold on this one because she knows she is making the right choice for herself.

YN can't believe she forgot to set an alarm because when she finally blinks her eyes open - the now familiar nauseous rolling through her, it's nearly noon.

Harry would already be in Miami, getting his tailored suit on, and nearly ready to head towards the stadium for the event with his mother and sister.

As for YN, she's hunched over the toilet before she can even move to open her laptop to start her next paper.

When the pains in her stomach subside, over dry heaving due to her not even eating anything yesterday - she opens the lid of her laptop to finish her final paper for Sports & Media Journalism.

She opens another tab on her browser to pull up ESPN live television to watch the coverage on the draft pick - she wasn't going to miss watching Harry just because she was cross with him.

When she finds what she's looking for, she hits her volume as an advertisement plays across the screen for leak-proof tampons.

Her stomach sinks clear into the floor of her dorm room because something clicks inside her head that she hasn't had hers yet this month and she has been nauseous most mornings.

There's no way.

Is there?

Actually, maybe.

Now that she thinks back to about two months ago.

YN had usually taken her birth control pills religiously- rarely ever missed one or forgot to set an alarm to take it.

However, it was spring break and they were staying at Anne's house for nearly a week and they were both admittedly lax.

Harry and her had been sleeping in until mid-morning, sometimes into the afternoon, and lazing around by the pool or cuddled up watching movies.

It was a rare time he got a break from baseball.

YN usually took her pill as soon as she got up in the morning but sleeping in with her warm, sleep-soft boyfriend who wrapped himself around her like a vine was much more tempting than an alarm clock.

She knew better but hadn't thought much of it when she took her pills later than normal that whole week, notably forgetting to take them one of the days they were there and not realizing until they got home.

It didn't seem like a big deal at the time.

And YN knows exactly which time may had got her pregnant - if she was.

YN meant to remind Harry to pull out, he normally didn't have to because she was so responsible with the pill.

She meant to let him know that he should because she hadn't been that week and she should probably get back on track before he does.

It was the night they got home from Anne's, in Harry's frat bedroom because despite how horny Harry had been that whole week - the house was entirely too small for them to have sneaky sex.

The walls were thin, Anne's room was right next to theirs, and the room Gemma was in was on the other side - blocking them in.

The bedroom door didn't have a lock and had a tendency to drift open if there was a draft in the house.

Harry pouted like a little boy the whole time, begging YN to sneak into the bathroom with him or "Please baby, just give me your mouth."

But Harry can't shut up when he's receiving any kind of pleasure and the last thing YN wanted to do was get caught by his mother or sister in the act.

And so, when they got home from Anne's, Harry had carried their suitcases up to his room in the frat, taking the stairs by two in his haste - it was on.

As soon as they both were in his bedroom, he slammed the door shut so hard that the wood was trembling against its post and the metal of the doorknob was shaking in protest.

Harry lifted YN up, making her squeak in surprise as he sat her on his dresser - his lips capturing hers and his tongue pushing into her mouth without the patience to ask permission.

His hands were everywhere, acting like he's fucking starving as he barely breaks their kiss to yank her shirt and bra off of her, none to gently.

"Missed this perfect fuckin' body," Harry growled under his breathe as he roughly cups her breasts to bring to his mouth where he begins to nip and suck on her hardening nipples.

"Shit, H. It's only been a week," She giggles breathily as she yanks at the roots of his hair - making him moan through the sharp pain - slicking up her chest with his tongue.

"Need you everyday though," He emphasized as he pulls back to admire the marks he was leaving all over the softness of her breasts, "S'never enough, got the best cunt I've ever had."

YN gives his curls one more tug, enough his head bends a bit as she posessively murmurs, "Only one you've ever had, you brat."

Harry looks up from her tits with a toothy smile and sugary soft eyes as he presses their lips back together, "Yeah, yeah it is. S'cause you're my person, right? Been waiting my whole life to give it you."

"Don't have to charm me, already got me. C'mon," YN rolls her eyes, bringing their lips back together as his fingers curl into the waistband of her yoga pants and begin to pull them down - kneeling as he goes, lips trailing down her belly until she’s moaning with satisfaction as he licks up her center.

YN remembers only realizing they shouldn't have done that after the fact, when they're already in the shower cleaning themselves up.

She had brushed it off because she thought the likelihood of something happening was so low - she is starting to think that she is poorly mistaken.

YN doesn't realize that she is physically trembling until she's jolted from her stupor by Harry's name being announced over the speakers of her laptop.

She had zoned out, missed his whole introduction because when she looks back at the computer screen, she sees her devastatingly handsome boyfriend shaking hands with a few men before being handed a New York Yankees jersey.

Holy shit.

As she watches him accept his new team, his life is changed, he is moving forward to be successful as expected - he’s smiling widely on the screen, eyes twinkling, and they cut to Gemma and Anne tearful with pride for him.

YN was struck with fear that she just ruined something for him, scratch that not just something, she’s just ruined everything for him.

They were so so young.

Just starting their lives as adults and they were only twenty!

She had a mixture of confusing emotions stirring in her belly but before she tried to delve into those, she knew she shouldn't get ahead of herself before she took a test.

In her haze, she leaves her phone at home when she heads out to go to the drugstore - she picks one further off campus in hopes of no one paying any mind to her.

However, as she tucks the boxes into the crook of her arm, she hears someone calling her name and she freezes in surprise.

Niall is jogging up to her, a smile wide on his face, "Thought you'd be in Florida. New York Yankees, huh?"

He takes in her deer-in-headlights expression before his eyes dart down to the boxes that boldy indicate what they are and his eyes dart back up quickly.

"Please," YN whispers, feeling tears pool up in her eyes, she really didn't want to cry but she felt like this couldn't get worse, "I'm going to tell him bu-"

Niall cuts her off, his face soft and concerned, hand coming to her shoulder, "Hey, no tears, yeah? M'not gonna tell. It's your business, not anyone elses. Do you need anything?"

YN smiles watery, she loved Niall, he was such a good friend to both of them but she shakes her head and he tags along without asking any questions when she goes to check out.

When she gets back to her room, the event is still up on her computer and there is a decent amount of picks that have gone through already.

YN can hear her phone vibrating on her desk, she runs over - all her missed call notifications popping up, signaling that Harry had tried to call her multiple times in the past hour.

"Hello?" She asks into the phone, if she was in her right mind - she would have already realized that she should have called him and congratulated him on his achievement but she’d forgotten her phone.

"You're that fuckin' cross with me that you're not even going to call and tell me congratulations?" Harry bites out angrily before adding, "Been sitting 'ere, waiting for my phone to ring and nothing. Not one fuckin' word from you."

YN's mouth gaped open for a second in surprise, his voice was raised and sharp, it had a rumble that was from deep in his chest.

"I meant to call but -" YN tried to gather her thoughts, her mind was going every which way right now as she stared at the bright pink and blue patterns on the boxes in front of her.

"But what? There's literally no bloody excuse for you not to call me!" Harry bites out, his mouth sounds much too close to the receiver and she can hear muffled noises in the background.

"I'm-“

"Whatever, I'm not going to sit on the phone and listen to excuses. I needed you here and you didn't come. I bet you didn't even watch it, did you?" Harry accuses angrily, a tremble in the strain to keep his voice at a low volume, like there were people around.

"I did watch it," YN replies but she knows that she sounds dull, unexcited, numb because she's more concerned that she's about to ruin the life he just began than arguing over a phone call.

"Don't sound so thrilled," Harry scoffs - calling her bluff but the hurt is laced through his words, "Whatever. I'm not going to sit here and beg you to be happy for me all because of a little fight. I can’t believe you.”

Then the line goes dead.

YN feels like she's going to throw up.

She snatches up the boxes, going into the bathroom, and is ripping every single white plastic test out of the packaging before laying them next to the sink in preparation.

She had chugged a massive amount of water that she had purchased at the drugstore on her way home - which could have also contributed to her upset stomach.

YN stares at them for a long moment, she doesn't think her heart has ever raced so fast in her life because this will change the course of not only her future but Harry's too.

She sits down, does what she needs to do then reapplies the caps and places them on the counter as she sets her timer for three minutes.

YN tries to keep her mind blank but it isn't working - she knows Harry wants kids, wants kids with her but she also feels like this might ruin his dreams - getting this dream job and then dealing with the weight of the responsibility of a baby he didn't plan for with the woman he would resent because of it.

The shrill timer has her jumping from the edge of her bed, legs feeling like absolute gelatin as they drag her to the tiny dorm bathroom.

She looks at herself in the mirror, trying to convince herself that they'll be negative but when she darts her eyes down - they're all blaring the same word to her.

Pregnant.

YN's breath caught as she picked them up and examined the one with just the lines further before she let herself exhale, steadying her breathing.

She instinctively puts a hand to where her baby is being homed, a new emotion that she's never felt in her life crashes over her like a tsnaumi.

It was a warm, honeyed mixture of love, fierce protectiveness, and awe of what she and Harry had unknowingly created with their love.

Harry.

YN doesn't know what to do.

She doesn't know how he's going to take it.

YN rushes to her phone, picking it up to ring him and it only rings two or three times before he's sending her to voicemail and ignoring it.

It doesn't deter her, she's calling once, twice, three times before he finally answers out of annoyance of her persistence.

"What could you possibly want from me right now?" Harry growls in frustration over the line, a tone she’s never head him use with her, "Humor me."

YN freezes in panic, this isn't how she wants to tell him when he's already so angry with her.

What if he was planning on breaking up with her?

"I-I'm sorry," YN chokes outs, she feels like she might hyperventilate with the stress coursing through her body, the calmness that was there a minute ago disappearing, "I-I'm sorry."

There's a short pause.

"Baby," Harry breathes out, the softness that she's used to seeping into his tone, "Are you okay? I-"

"I can't-" YN stammers, squeezing her eyes shut and swallowing harshly, "I...I can't do this right now."

YN makes a rash decision, she hangs up the phone and presses the side button until the screen fades to black.

Then she's setting it on her desk, ignoring the fact that Harry is most likely desperately trying to call her back.

She couldn't fight with him anymore right now, not when she was having to process that she was growing another human inside of her.

YN feels the exhaustion of the past week and a half of morning sickness, sleep deprivation from finals, and arguments with Harry hit her like a ton of bricks.

Her eyes close the second her head hits her pillow.

There's a loud banging at her door which startles her out of her slumber, her bones feel heavy and her head hurts from the day.

She can tell time has passed because when she fell asleep it was only mid afternoon and now it was completely pitched dark outside of her dorm - the streetlights glimmering dully.

YN drags her feet, assuming it was mostly likely one of the frat boys who Harry sent over to check on her.

She knows she looks like a hot mess, face swollen, puffy eyes, and a bun that had her hair sticking every which way out of it.

"What do you want?" YN groans to get the banging to stop, unlocking and flinging open the door without another thought.

To her utter surprise, it was none other than her boyfriend who looked absolutely livid but at the same time, relieved that she was safe and okay.

He was wearing a New York Yankees tee and his normal athletic shorts and Nikes, his hair still nicely gelled from his television appearance earlier in the day - a bit of sunburn on his nose.

"What the fuck is going on?" Harry rasps, looking her body up and down, "Turning off your phone like that. What on Earth are you thinking?”

YN just...starts crying.

She buries her head in her hands and lets the sobs wrack through her body, shaking her head because she just can’t fight with him right now.

"Baby, baby," Harry responds, alarmed as he pushes himself into the room with her and shuts the door behind them, "Okay, darling. It's okay. I promise I was just cross, baby. Please, breaks my heart to see you cry like this.”

YN allows Harry to tug her straight into his strong chest, wishing that his warm scent could ground her like it usually does but it doesn't.

"I need you to talk to me. I need to know what's going on. You haven't acted like yourself at all today, sweetheart. I know I could have handled my anger better and I'm sorry, my love," Harry murmurs into her hair, lips brushing against her as he keeps her secured to him, his hand slipping under her shirt to rub at the warm skin of her back.

"Don't apologize," YN manages to spit out, "It's me, I'm...I'm messing everything up for you."

Harry pulls back until they make eye contact, his brow furrowed in confusion, "You're the best fuckin' thing that's ever happened to me. You've never ever messed anything up for me."

"Don't say that, please," YN whispers, shaking her head, "I have to tell you something."

Harry's eyes widen and an almost heartbreaking expression takes over his previously rigid one, "Baby...you didn't cheat on me?"

"God, Harry," YN can't help but wetly chuckle, "When would I have time? You're literally trying to get it every other second."

His face smooths out, a boyish smile appears for a moment until he's serious again, "What happened? What did you do that you think could mess up my life?"

YN lets out a loud exhale before detangling herself from him, she goes into the bathroom to gather the tests into her fist and swallows hard before coming back out.

Without making eye contact, she shoves them into his palm and watches nervously as the crease between his brow appears as he brings them up to examine them.

It takes him a moment before his eyes meet YN's, he says, "Tell me once again, how you think you could possibly be messing up my life?"

"I'm pregnant," YN whispers as if he doesn't have the tests in his hands, "It's not..it's not what you planned. you just started your career."

Harry tosses the plastic tests on the desk, striding towards his girlfriend, and hugging her so tightly that it nearly hurts before his lips on hers.

"Sweetheart, you're gonna give me a baby?" Harry asks sweetly, his eyes watering and he chuckles as he wipes away the tears that start to spill over.

"I am," YN smiles softly, unsure as she thumbs at the apples of his cheeks where his grin is so wide his eyes are squinted, dimples popping.

"How...How could you think I wouldn't be anything but excited?" Harry murmurs as his large hands start rucking up her shirt to palm at her belly, "Never been a secret that I wanted this with you. Always want you more than anything, that includes baseball."

YN buries her face into his chest, lets him rock them back and forth as she feels little sobs shake his chest.

"I can't believe we're gonna have a baby," Harry sniffles happily, "Never thought I was gonna find the one, you know? Wanted my whole life for you, didn't think you existed. Then you just come into my life and give me everything I ever wanted."

"You just started your whole life," YN still feels her lips quiver while Harry pecks them over and over again, hands rubbing over every inch of her tummy as if he’s saying hello to the baby.

"You're right," Harry agrees with a soft smile, he's trying to hold back a sob, "Got onto my dream team, got my dream girl, and now we're gonna have a little family."

YN shutters out a choked noise, shaking her head in denial still, "It's..It's...We're going to hold you back."

The curve of his lips drops, into something more stormy, his hands firmer on her hips as he makes eye contact, "Stop it now, okay? I want this baby. I want you. All of it. Nothing, nothing is more important than this."

YN nods in better understanding, wrapping her arms around his neck and bringing their lips together once more, "We're going to be parents."

Harry brings her as close as possible, she can feel his heartbeat thudding rapidly in his chest like after a long game.

She's confused when he pulls back, keeping her at arm's length before he's kneeling down, "I don't have a ring right now but I'm sure as hell making you my wife as soon as possible. Gonna be my wife and have my baby. I don't want this with anyone else, baby. I'm so god damn in love with you I'm stupid with it. Please darling, please marry me."

YN knows the shock on her face is visible, she must pause for a moment too long because Harry begins to speak again but YN is giggling and saying, "Of course, I'll marry you," before she's stepping forward and knocking him over with how much force she hugs him with.

It ends up with Harry splayed on his back on the carpet of her tiny dorm room, with her on top, kissing him and tugging at his shirt until she can pull it over his head.

"Gonna give it to your fiancé? Gonna show me what a good lil' wife you're gonna be?" Harry rumbles, the arousal already setting into his bravado as he moves to take off her top - squeaking when she bites his lip at his cooing tone.

It's not the wedding she thought she would have with Harry but that was okay - somehow what they ended up doing was way better than anything over the top or extravagant.

It's at City Hall, the witness being someone who happened to be in the courtroom that day - YN was dressed in a simple white dress, Harry in the same suit he wore to the draft pick.

By this point, her bump was just showing at nearly four months, so much had changed in that short time.

They both had graduated with their degrees, relocated to a small apartment in Manhattan, Harry was already in the first season of his new career.

It wasn't the luxurious lifestyle quite yet, they still had to budget their money and make sure they didn't eat out too much because Harry had yet to make any major money yet (oh, how that would change).

They knew their families would be upset they weren't invited to the wedding but it was something they just wanted to do for each other and the tiny baby growing in her stomach.

Harry sobs like an absolute baby when YN says "I do" and when it's made official Harry has both hands on the sides of her jaw and brings her in for a deep kiss before one palm moves to cradle her belly.

Harry was just starting his second season of the game, as soon as he had been drafted - he had been thrust onto the field.

It hadn't been a surprise when within a few weeks he was starting pitcher and on the hitting line-up.

YN traveled with him to nearly every game until it wasn't safe for her to fly anymore as she reached the end of her pregnancy.

The money had begun to appear in their bank account at an alarmingly fast rate, making Harry a multi-millionaire overnight.

They moved from the tiny one bedroom to a luxurious apartment in mere months because not only was he getting paid to play, the commision from his jersey and other memorabilia, then he signed multiple contracts with different brands like Nike and Smart Water for millions upon millions of dollars too.

YN had never seen Harry happier, they were both thriving, and they were loving the little life they created in New York City.

He couldn't be happier with his dream job, his wife, and his little baby on the way - however, he did struggle on the occasions where he was traveling for an extended period of time and was away from her.

"How are you feeling?" Harry murmurs, it's dimly lit in his hotel room - he's exhausted from a long game and the anxiety of being away from his wife.

"Bub is kicking up a storm," YN replies with her own smile, she moves the camera until it's on her belly - obvious against her taut skin when an elbow rolls into her side, "They miss you."

It was the wrong thing to say today.

Harry begins to sniffle on the other line, YN pulls the phone back to her where she can see Harry's eyes watering and he's rubbing his face against the sleeve of his shirt.

"I hate being away from you," Harry mumbles, rubbing his eyes before looking at the camera with a guilty expression, "I don't get it. All these guys have no problem going out and partying after every game and all I can do is miss you and the baby."

YN doesn't think anyone in the world would think The Harry Styles, newly twenty-one, millions of dollars at his disposal, and available girls at his fingertips wouldn't be partying after an impressive game - no instead he's in his hotel room tearful about how much he misses his wife.

YN decides empowerment would be the best course of action to make him feel better tonight, so that's what she does.

"H, you're being the best husband and daddy, you know?" YN reminds him, wishing she could cuddle him in this moment, "Providing for your family."

Harry seems to hear that, smiling a bit and nodding, "Anything for you two. I'd do whatever I had to, to provide for you."

YN has no qualms that she married the right man.

YN is about a week and a half away from her due date, her ankles swollen and the baby getting uncomfortably large in their home.

Harry had a photoshoot for a Nike advert in Manhattan today for a new line of running clothes that he was modeling for.

She had accompanied him, making herself as comfortable as possible on a sofa in the corner of the studio - sipping from a water bottle as she watched her husband.

He looked so fucking handsome is the thing, changing right there in front of everybody - showing off his rippled stomach, the sharp vee that leads into his shorts.

She couldn't lie and say it didn't do anything to her because the pregnancy hormones - well Harry hadn't been complaining with how often she was trying to get with him.

Harry had a late flight home, he fully expected YN to have been asleep by the time he dropped his duffel in the entryway of their flat.

However, when he trails into the living room, he's surprised by her sitting on their sofa, looking at him expectantly in just a tee of his and some soft-looking panties.

"Hi darling," Harry murmurs, his voice soft and low but she didn't look an ounce of tired as her eyes looked him up and down, "Not sleepy?"

"Mmm, was waiting up for you," YN agrees before casually tacking on, "So that you could fuck me."

Harry's eyebrows nearly shoot into his hairline, a warm zip of electricity making his cock twitch, "Baby, are you--"

"Don't," She complains brattily, heaving herself up and off the couch to trail over to him, wasting no time in getting his shirt off before he gets with the program and is taking over.

Harry groans loudly when his hand dips down into the front of her panties, "Fucking shit. This for me, sweet girl?"

"Please, m'so ready," YN huffs, not wanting any teasing like she usually does, "Harry, please. Stop messing around. Just want it.”

"Jesus, you're so fucking hot," Harry rumbles as he gently pushes her back onto the couch until she's laying down and he can crawl ontop of her, smiling more fondly when the large bump of her belly prohibts Harry from pressing himself against her like he wants.

“No, not like this,” YN complains after just a moment, pushing a confused Harry up until she can rearrange them until he’s sat up and she can lower herself down onto him to get deeper.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Harry gasps when she sinks all the way down, his mouth moving to lick at her sensitive and puffy nipples as she begins to lazily grind back and forth.

She isn’t rushed, completely lost in her own arousal as she moves her hips every which way to find where she can get the most friction on her clit and where he’ll be hitting her spot.

“No bloody wonder m’obsessed with you,” Harry remarks breathily when she begins to pick up the pace of her movements, eyes shut and head tilted back, pushing her chest further into his mouth as she mewls at her oncoming pleasure, “Never seen somethin’ better than this. All full of my baby, riding me like you own me. You do own me, baby.”

YN is taken out of her dirty daydream by a sharp pain to her side, it’s not like her usual jolts from when the bub kicks her too hard or throws an elbow.

Instead, she’s panicked when a gush of fluid seeps through her leggings and begins to drip down her legs - for a moment she thinks she wet herself until she realizes her water just fucking broke.

YN’s frozen for a moment, Harry’s currently giving the flashing cameras a dazzling smile in a mesh top and matching shorts.

The ache she felt moments ago resurfaces but feels more visceral this time, making her toes curl at the pain that radiates through her whole body.

She doesn’t feel like she can stand up, not without help, and there’s no one right near her but she doesn’t want to cause a scene by yelling for him.

After another contraction rocks her, it’s involuntary when she cradles her stomach and lets out a low moan of pain that has everyone turning their head to look.

Harry’s rushing from the white backdrop, over to the couch to knee down, when his hands come to rest on her thighs he notices the wet fabric underneath his fingertips.

“H,” YN whimpers, reaching to place her hands on his shoulders, “The baby’s co-coming,” She stutters over a contraction.

Harry goes into serious husband mode, “Okay, okay darling. We have to get you to the hospital. You’re doing perfect already. Let me help you up.”

YN gets to her feet, gripping her husband’s forearm hard when a cramp radiates through her stomach, and Harry just presses his lips to her clammy forehead until it passes.

“Alright, honey. I need you to push on three,” The doctor at the end of the bed instructs as the nurses flit around to prepare for the arrival of their child.

YN nods, holding Harry’s hand tightly as she pushes as hard as she can for five long seconds before slumping back down onto the bed and panting.

“Okay, we’re gonna give you a minute break then try again,” Dr. Dicer instructs before smiling reassuringly at the young couple.

“You’re doing so good,” Harry murmurs against her temple, pecking all over her sweaty face and rubbing his thumb over her knuckles, “You’re so so close. I’m so fuckin’ proud of you.”

“I just want our baby,” YN huffs between gasps of catching her breath, “Just want our baby, H.”

“Soon, soon we’re gonna have them, huh?” Harry smiles happily, his hands were shaking with nervousness and excitement all in one, “We’ll have our baby. Be a family.”

“Yeah, we wi- ohh,” YN cuts off in a groan, scrunching her face up and crying out, “I have to push. I can’t stop-“

“It’s okay, mom,” The doctor reassured her, settling back into position, “The baby’s ready to join us. Only a few more pushes than you’ll be parents.”

Harry’s eyes widen when he looks down to see brown wisps of hair as the baby begins to make its entrance into the world push by push.

“Darling,” Harry’s lower lip is wobbling as she bears down to give it all of her might and he nearly chokes on his own breath when in the next minute the doctor is holding a squirming, unhappy crying baby up.

“It’s a boy! Congratulations mom and dad,” Dr. Dicer announces before laying the baby boy on YN’s bare chest as he lets out little bouts of wails.

“Oh my god,” YN giggles between tears, her fingers coming to touch the baby’s strands of damp hair before tracing over his tiny facial features, “Harry, baby. Harry, look.”

“I’m looking,” Harry sniffles, his thumb coming to rub at the baby’s forehead before the nurses swoop in to perform all the necessary tests, “He’s perfect, he’s so fucking perfect. Look how good you did. Did such a good job at giving us our baby, mama.”

It’s the first time the nickname slips from his mouth but far from the last time.

After he’s cleaned up, giving a clean bill of health, and done with their assessments - the nurse asks Harry if he’d like to have skin-to-skin contact.

YN has to chuckle to herself, in her hazy mind as Harry takes off his shirt and the two nurses' eyes widen when they see what’s hiding underneath- checking out his chiseled chest down to where his happy trail leads into his shorts.

It’s forgotten when Harry sits in the chair next to the bed and brings his son to his chest, the baby’s cheek resting against his pec as Harry rubs down their back.

And he just loses it.

Harry’s full on sobbing as he hugs his son to him, tears running down his cheeks and chest shaking with emotion as he kisses the top of the baby’s head.

Harry had just had another failed date, defeated as he drags his feet back up to his room in the frat house to change out of his nice outfit.

There isn’t any reason he shouldn’t have feelings for the girl he was just out on a date with, she was pretty, smart, and they even went to the same yoga studio.

He thought it was going good, he even agreed to go back to her apartment with her but when they were watch some dumb romantic comedy and her hand went to rub at him through his pants - nothing happened.

Harry felt defeated as he made up some bullshit excuse that he was tired from all the work-outs and games, that’s the only reason he couldn’t get it up.

But in reality, it was because there wasn’t a connection with the girl and he didn’t feel like he could even create one with her.

This had been his reality for his full life, he’s ashamed to admit when he got home from that date - he laid in bed and cried because he didn’t think that he would ever find someone who he could be close to, let alone be in a relationship with.

Now he was sitting here with the love of his life and their baby - something he truly had believed may never happen for him.

YN brings him back to reality when she reaches over to stroke his cheek, concerned in her eyes at how much he’s crying.

“M’okay,” Harry laughs quietly, a bit embarrassed as he kisses the palm of his wife’s hand, “I just..I’ve never been happier than I am right now.”

YN smiles back at him, tired and loving, “I’ve never been happier either.”

“Just you, me, and Easton,” Harry murmurs adoringly as he kisses his son’s head, “I’ll never need anything else but you two. Only thing that matters to me.”

💕

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