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anxresi · 4 years

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Chloe’s Last Straw

Synopsis:

Chloe is guilty of many things in her life. But not this. Never this. So when her mother says something unforgivable to a person she'd usually consider an enemy, it's up to her to put things right. Grab your popcorn folks, and get ready for a roasting. Written for Blackout Tuesday.

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Caline Bustier sighed in exasperation, wondering how her once promising career as an educator had stuck her with this… the most ill-disciplined, out-of-control bunch of students she’d ever had to guide since her formative years as a kindergarten coordinator.

But even those young rapscallions had some level of respect for their elders, whereas the current batch of alleged ‘maturer’ teens…

They couldn’t even raise their heads for role-call in the morning.

“Max! Stop playing with that flying toy this second ! Mylene, Ivan… you can kiss each other during recess! Return to your desks now ! Nathanael! Put down those pencils and listen to me! Lila, I know you said you suffer from ADHD, but until I see a doctor’s note, I expect you to respond immediately when I call your name! Honestly, it’s like trying to herd cats! And where on Earth are…”

“I’m here! I’m here!!” As if in answer to her request, Adrien Agreste bustled in just then, out-of-breath and apparently with a ready-made excuse to explain his absence. “Dawn fashion shoot… then piano recital… early morning practice… stop me falling behind. A-Apologies Miss Bustier… you know how it is with my father…”

“Hmm, yes… I’m afraid I do .” The frowning teacher gave an understanding nod, for Gabriel Agreste’s huge expectations for his son often led to constant late arrivals for his son. “I would say ‘try not to let it happen again’, but something tells me it’s out of my hands. Oh well, at least you haven’t missed any actual lesson time this week. Go and sit down, please. Now I wonder where…”

“ Argh ! S-Sorry Miss! Mom got sick… and usually she handles the morning deliveries… so I had to take a quick detour on my way here… and…” bang

At least, that’s the sound effect there would’ve been, if a stumbling Marinette Dupain-Cheng hadn’t been caught by Adrien on her inevitable descent to the floor. Right place, right time.

Still didn’t stop her blushing like a stoplight though.

“A-Adrien!! Gulp. H-Hi. ” The blunette gave a passable impression of a fish out of water.

“Hey there! F-Funny the places we run into each other, isn’t it?” Adrien seemed equally struck for what he wanted to say.

“ Ahem !” That was the sound of an impatient teacher, who obviously had no romance in her soul and was eager to restart the headcount. “If you two are quite finished with your impromptu act, you can save it for the talent show next month. Take your respective seats so we can get on. Wait…”

Glancing at Adrien And Marinette’s chairs had revealed something unprecedented in the recent history of this hallowed halls of education. In fact, so unbelievable was it, Miss Bustier had to rub her eyes twice just to make sure what she saw wasn’t just another product of her espresso-infused imagination.

For it would appear as though young Agreste and Dupain-Cheng, by some measure the most tardy pupils Caline Bustier had ever known, were not among the last ones to arrive that incredible day.

No, that dubious honor belonged to none other than the students the aforementioned pair shared a desk with, namely Nino Lahiffe and Alya Cesaire.

W-What the… the panicking teacher’s look of astonishment was completely forgivable, as both Marinette and Adrien made good their escape. I’ve never known anything like this to happen before. It’s most unlike them. I just hope they’re okay. Maybe, if they’re not here soon, I should ask the headmaster if…

Miss Bustier’s short soliloquy was interrupted by an unpleasant shrieking noise as a familiar pair strode in. The high-pitched noise made the hairs on her neck stand on end and shattered the formerly serene atmosphere of the classroom once and for all.

“ Dahling . You know I wouldn’t go back to New York without saying goodbye to my precious Coraline, don’t you sweetheart? I might be away for quite a while this time, even past Christmas, but you understand, right? If I’m not there to personally introduce my new range of spangly negligees to the world at Fashion Week, my competitors might steal my thunder! I might even be bumped off the front page of Vogue! And you remember what I’ve told you every day, since the blessed occasion you were born, whenever that was…”

“Yes, mother. ‘If you’re not somebody, then you’re nobody.’ I get it. But do you ‘get’: my name isn’t ‘Coraline’, it’s Chloe . Coraline is that so-called kids movie we saw years ago, the one that was so scary I nearly wet… you know what, n-never mind.”

The loud screech of Audrey Bourgeois’s voice was almost enough to give poor Miss Bustier a migraine, as if the prospect of trying to teach her disruptive daughter good manners wasn’t difficult enough. Why did this have to be the one day I forgot to bring my aspirin to class with me? Tell me, what did I do to deserve this? Did I walk under a ladder yesterday? Did I crack a mirror, or step on a gypsy’s foot by mistake? Please, if I am cursed for whatever reason, let me know how I can fix it. For the love of…

“Mrs Bourgeois! What an unple… u-unexpected pleasure!” The rapidly unraveling teacher put on her fakest, friendliest face to welcome the surprise guest. “How are you? When was the last time we met? I seem to recall it was at the salon…”

“What was that? Who is this strange person heckling me, dear?” Audrey pulled down her shades to stare closer, as Chloe whispered in her mom’s ear. “Oh yes, your public school educator. Still with the red hair I see, ugh . Yes, I remember… I told her to dye her roots blonde like me if she wanted a better job than the impossible task of instructing these degenerates. Because as we all know: ‘blondes have more fun’. Isn’t that right, Chlorine?”

Whether Chloe was still sore from Audrey getting her name wrong twice now, or just plain embarrassed by her female parent’s condescending behavior, who knows. She didn’t repeat her mother’s mantra again like last time though, and instead stood there nervously with her hands in her chino pockets, portraying quite an un-Chloe lack of confidence.

“Well anyway, if you simply must know Miss… Bustier, was it?” An uninterested Audrey inquired, proving the rumor true that her daughter’s name was the only one she regularly forgot. “I was just seeing my precious off, before catching the afternoon plane to uptown New York. It’s just wonderful there in the summer, with all the glitterati in attendance for the various functions. You really must try it, darling… oh sorry I forgot: on your meager salary, it might prove to be an impossible dream. Still, we can’t all be as ridiculously wealthy as me and my husband, can we?”

“Y-Yes, I suppose so.” Miss Bustier desperately kept her sentences as short as possible. She didn’t want the dreadful woman to stay there a second longer than absolutely necessary. “W-Well, I don’t want to keep you, if you have things you need to…”

“So, these are the local children you go to school with, dear?” Deciding she was tired with Miss Bustier’s ‘rambling’, a bored Audrey fixed a critical eye over the classroom. “Well, I must say, I’ve seen far better. A poor crop if ever there was one… why your father refused to let you be privately educated is beyond me. I suspect it’s because he wants to boost his election prospects by letting you ‘mingle with the common folk’, but is it really worth it? I hate to think the effect such distasteful surroundings must be having on your delicate young mind.”

Outraged gasps erupted from all around the room, and if Chloe could’ve jumped into a fifty-foot hole never to emerge, she likely would’ve done so with relish. Alas, this was not an option, and so once more the twitching girl was forced to deal with the consequences of her mother’s shameless arrogance and total lack of volume control.

But just as even the usually docile Miss Bustier was about to say something stronger to defend her visibly irritated students, the last two attendees emerged through the door, puffing and panting as they arrived at long last. Also noticeably, covered in what can only be described as black oil stains.

First up was Nino Lahiffe, who paused slightly to catch his breath and adjust his cap. Then came his girlfriend Alya Cesaire just behind, who despite being pretty exhausted herself, began to speak “N-Nino’s dad gave us a lift, but the car broke down. We had to help him fix it…”

Suddenly Audrey Bourgeois, obviously on a roll, glanced behind her with a pronounced sneer. Upon seeing the pair in question, her expression of disapproval grew even more pronounced…

And what she said next was truly shocking. Except, maybe not her.

“Who might these ‘people’ be, then? While I think it’s laudable you’ll let just about anyone into these types of schools Bustier, I hope you realize some individuals can’t be taught. Just look at those hopeless youths, for example. Obviously from a rough neighborhood, probably down to one parent each, deprived of everything to judge by their filthy clothing, and they can’t even be in class on time. Probably wasting their lives on the street listening to ‘wrap’ music, or whatever it’s called. As if this sort even need an education, in their future careers as minimum wage cleaners or drug-dealers. Really dear, you’d be better off kicking them out and investing in school uniforms instead…”

“ That’s enough !!”

Stunned faces all around. Jaws dropping to the floor. A few people on the verge of fainting, at the identity of the person who uttered those two screamed words.

It wasn’t Miss Bustier, who was prepared to declare her response by more physical means (a hard fist to the face of an unrepentant bigoted snob, if you must know).

Not Alya, who looked just about ready to burst into tears, being held by her apoplectic boyfriend in his arms (otherwise, he might’ve formed an unstoppable tag-team with his teacher to kick some serious a**).

The surprise shouter was none other than Chloe Bourgeois, who having finally been pushed to her absolute limit at her mother’s complete lack of respect for anyone besides her own reflection, had finally snapped.

And boy, was it something to behold.

“Mom, as I’m sure anyone who isn’t you would agree, I’ve put up with a lot over the years. The insults. The dirty looks. Long absences. Always getting my name wrong. Never telling me you love me. Raising me to think ‘sacking’ anyone who disagrees with you is permissible behavior. I can tolerate all this and more, but there is one thing where I must draw the line. You want to know what that is?”

“ Must we get into this now, dear? You know I like first pick of the best VIP seats…” There Mrs Bourgeois went again, thinking this was just another conversation where she could brush off her daughter’s genuine concerns.

Well, in this case, she was about to get ‘schooled’ (pun not intended).

“Well, I’m going to tell you anyway. It’s racism Mom, plain and simple, and I won’t stand for it! Whatever problems I might’ve had with Alya and Nino in the past, and believe me there’s been plenty, I’ve never treated them differently due to the color of their skin! How shallow can you get?! And coming from me, this is the biggest of big deals!”

It was as if someone had lit a fuse underneath Audrey’s designer shoes, as the formerly unflappable woman suddenly recoiled in shock. “W-What… well I never ! How could you say such terrible things to me, Chlorophyll? Why, if you weren’t my own flesh and blood, I’d sue you on the spot! I’ll have you know, some of my best workers are blac…”

“Yeah, ‘workers’. You just made my point for me. That’s all they are to you, aren’t they? I’ve seen the way you treat them differently to even our other staff, calling them ‘tanned’ and ‘colored’ right to their faces. They don’t say anything because they don’t want to lose their jobs, and shamefully neither do I because frankly, you scare me sometimes. Well, that ends this second . The instant you behave that way again, I’ll be on you like a ton of bricks. Also, do you wanna know something else?”

“H-Huh?” Audrey’s demeanor had abruptly switched from coolness personified to utter confusion. Being called out so blatantly in front of a bunch of ‘underprivileged ragamuffins’ by her petulant child was not on the itinerary today.

“I’ll spoil it for you again. Father hates your attitude even more than I do! Whenever you finish treating the staff like the dirt under your feet, he goes to each one in turn to apologize personally. As well as give them a few extra euros that month, as if that’ll make up for the abuse they have to suffer. But look who I’m talking to! The woman who thinks Chinese and Japanese people are practically the same! And people wonder where I got such a stupid idea from…”

‘I-I…” For the first time in her life, Mrs Bourgeois was completely lost for words. All she could do was stare dumbly and numbly at her irrepressible daughter, as the young girl finished her extended lecture with a flourish.

“Finally, I suppose I should let you know about the head cook at our hotel. You know, the one who you think makes the best meals around for Daddy and his clients at short notice? Or when you have to entertain people, and she puts on a spread that’ll put any other caterer in the city to shame? That’s Mrs Cesaire, the mother of Alya over there. How do you think she’s going to feel, when she hears you racially insulted her daughter so terribly in front of her entire class? I don’t know, but if I were you I’d check my food for signs of saliva for a while. Also, put your lawyers on stand-by, because I think it may be heading for court. And if you want to know who’s side I’ll be on, here’s a clue…”

At this juncture, Chloe put her mouth to her now trembling mother’s ear to whisper sharply:

“...It won’t be yours!”

That was all it took for Mrs Audrey Bourgeois to collapse on the floor, in such a comatose state that not even the strongest smelling salts around could revive her in the foreseeable future.

...Not that anyone really wanted to do that, of course. Even the school nurse balked at helping someone who’d been so vile to the innocent students there. So, in an unconscious heap on the floor she stayed.

In the end, she missed her flight and the free expensive champagne on offer. Oh dear. How sad. Never mind.

As for Chloe, having said her piece and blithely sauntered over to her seat next to Sabrina afterwards, she was most surprised by the deafening cheer that subsequently erupted, as well as the much better treatment she got for an entire week afterwards by everyone present (even from Marinette).

As unusual as her newfound popularity was though…

She could quite easily get used to it.

If only she could master this whole ‘being nice’ thing.

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AUTHOR’S NOTE: Remember everyone, having White Privilege isn’t just about paying lip service to the concerns of minorities and posting black squares and hashtags one Tuesday to show you care…

It’s about using your advantageous platform all year round to speak up to defend those in need, whoever they are. After all. if activism was just listening to others whilst doing precisely nothing to change the world outside the confines of social media, how are we gonna change the world?

Food for thought. Hope you enjoyed the story, which (I hope) got the point across well enough. Whatever you think, let me know… and thanks for reading! :)

#chloe bourgeois #audrey bourgeois #Nino lahiffe #alya cesaire #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #adrien agreste #Miss Bustier #ladybug #miraculous ladybug #miraculous #blackout tuesday #blackouttuesday

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theworldwithoutmagic · 4 years

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Decompression - zutara ff

Just wrote this oneshot thursday so its CONTENT HOT OFF THE PRESS.

Im fresh off a rewatch of A:TLA and I finished Southern Raiders on wednesday with a Mighty Need to write a missing scene. I was so striken by Zutara feels that I had to bang out this one shot in a single day.

Here is 3000 words of shameless enemies-to-bedsharing-trope. Set in missing scene during Southern Raiders.

I really need feedback as iv never written zutara before and idk if I have their Voices down. concrit welcome as id like to improve before a longfic. PLEASE message or comment.

i also need blogs to follow..

So here we gooooo

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Katara and Zuko stop to rest and talk about what happened that day. They get a little closer than expected. Zuko wonders how he became so lucky.

Zuko looks up from Appa’s saddle at Katara, seemingly just as determined to get back quickly as she was on the way here. She is beautiful, he thinks to himself not the first time, even now leaving the scene of an almost murder. Her wrists were flicking occasionally, bending the water in the clouds around them to give them a modicum of safety from any eyes that might look to the skies. He knows she must be exhausted at this point. He saw see the circles under her eyes hours ago. Appa himself is starting to slow down and he knows this pace can’t last forever.

“Katara, we have been flying for hours and Appa needs to rest.” He didn’t mention Katara herself. He knew without asking that she would not appreciate any comments on her ability to keep going. He hoped she might stop and process some of what happened today instead of going full speed back to their training regimen. His uncle would have said so, at least. The day was a lot more intense than even he expected.

“What we need is to get back to Aang. The comet is approaching and this was a waste of time,” Katara said.

“We won’t make it back to Aang at all if Appa collapses and we land in the middle of a fire nation village. Look at him. His eyes are starting to droop.” It was true, the bison was not at full strength. Katara did not turn around but her shoulders dropped a bit. She wouldn’t want to hurt Appa.

“So, where do you have in mind we stop? This is the middle of the fire nation and you are pretty hard to miss,“ she said.

“We can make camp in one of the many caves in this region. Look how rocky it is down there. I know that is how your gang usually hides from the fire nation. I think I see a decent spot down there right now,” he pointed down to an outcropping of rock high on a hillside, protected on all 4 sides from direct view.

Katara remained silent. “If this is some kind of trick Zuko…”

He tamped down the biting response he wanted to give. “Katara, I would not have come here with you and helped you find a firenation ship and captain just to trap you in a random cave. Appa needs rest, that’s it. So do I. and you,” He said, the last bit under his breath.

“Fine.” She said, after looking him in the eyes and finding some answer she wanted. “But only until sunrise. We don’t have time for this.” She snaps the reigns and directs Appa back around towards the overhang. He is relieved she agreed.

When they land, Zuko inspects the cave. It’s not so much of a cave as it is a large overhanging rock. It’s not deep, but big enough to hide a bison in. Unfortunately, he deduces they won’t be able to have a fire tonight. The smoke and light might attract too much attention. They will have to eat from the dried stores and sleep in the dark. He knows Katara will agree with him about the fire. Katara…

He had no idea she was so strong. He keeps thinking back to the sea raven ship. He is pretty sure she bended a living person. Not supposed to be possible, but he guesses there is much he does not know about water bending.

Even now, her back is ramrod straight and she is standing in front of her bedroll a little lost looking now that they arent moving towards a goal. He promised to help her on this mission but he is the last person who knows how to help her with the aftermath. He isn’t sure what he expected from this trip.. things went very differently than he imagined. She needs to talk her brother or Aang or literally anyone other than him, he thinks. He considers that he might be a monster for even suggesting this murder mission as he leads Appa under the rocky overhang.

With the Bison in the “cave” with them, there is not a ton of room. He puts his bedroll by Katara’s where there is a little space and dry ground and pulls out the last jerky they have. Its stale and he thinks he can start to taste the beginnings of mold on his piece. They were preserved in a hurry and it’s been a little too long since the group resupplied. But its food and it’s all they have. He holds one out to Katara.

“Uh, you should eat something.” He tries, “It has been a long day. We have a lot of flying to do to get back to Aang.” Damnit, but it’s not just about the flying. He doesn’t know how to breech this subject.

“Of course we do, Zuko.” She whips around, “I am fine. I didn’t even want to stop.” She still takes the jerky and rips into it. She finally leans back against the wall of the cave, sitting on her bedroll. He watches her face and almost panics. Her eyes are shining with unshed tears and she is nowhere near sleep tonight. It races through his mind again that she faced her mother’s murderer today and is somehow still standing.

“Ok.” is all he says for a while. He has to say something else. What would uncle say? What would the Avatar say? He doesn’t know. He knows she might need more than he can give. In the end he says nothing and silently berates himself. He knows sleep will be a long time coming for both of them.

It starts to rain. He looks out of the wet, terrible cave into the storm. The rain is beautiful in a way. It runs in shining rivulets down the other pale rocks, the nearly full moon reflecting in the puddles, and he tries to imagine what it would be like to bend water instead of this horrible fire. He starts talking and hopes he’s not ruining things again.

“The rain is nice. I’ve always loved the sound. As a child I never hated the rain as much as the other fire benders in the palace. The rain restored the land. Brought life back to the burn scars in the garden from our training.” Then, as an afterthought, “The turtleducks loved it, too.” He thinks that’s what got her to speak.

“It never rained in the south pole. Always snow. I didn’t see the rain until I left with Aang. Standing in the rain for the first time and feeling the pull of each raindrop at the southern air temple is one of my favorite memories.” Katara said. She is staring into the growing tempest outside now too. “I always hoped I would get to see it. My mother used to tell me about the rain from her travels with dad.”

She is sitting against the wall very close to him. The thought crosses his mind that if he scooted over, he could reach out and touch her. He doesn’t think he should. Instead, he quietly, so quietly hes not sure she can hear it over the rain, asks, “Do you want to tell me about her?” He closes his eyes and waits for the anger.

“I would like that.” She whispers. “My mom was not a bender. Her father and both of her sisters were. She lost them all to the fire nation before I was born.” More pain and suffering at the hands of his people, he thinks to himself. “My mother was still powerful in her own way. I remember she helped our tribe remember how to create houses without water benders. There was a while we thought our tribe could not survive without benders to keep the ice at bay. How would we do anything without benders to make new ice houses? But she figured it out.”

Zuko realized all over again what cruelties the fire nation had forced on her people. Taking away the benders of a tribe completely reliant on it for survival. It was only through sheer force of will they were still here. He lets her continue.

“My mother was the best cook in the village. Sokka thinks my cooking is good, but I learned only a little for her before she die- before she was killed.” Tears leaked from her eyes now and her voice shook. “The worst part is Sokka is right. I barely remember her now.”

“I’m sorry. I know it’s not enough, especially from me. I really hoped that by taking you to her killer I could help you. Help you get closure and a bit of payback. I see now that was a mistake and I’ve made it worse” He chokes out. The whole trip was a mistake. She would never trust him now either, being reminded of all the sins of the fire nation.

“It wasn’t a mistake. Zuko I thought that by coming here I could finally get revenge. Aang was right about that. I was not seeking justice or closure. If my mother’s killer had been that man on the ship, I think I would have killed him.”

The man she had.. bended. He knew she was not lying right now. “Katara, whatever you did to him, he.. he deserved it.”

“No, he didn’t.” She was still trying to hold back her tears and failing. “I bended his blood Zuko. A technique I swore I would never use. I was just so angry! He had the gall to stand there on the ship meant for raiding my people and claim he didn’t know what I was talking about. Probably just coming from another murderous raid against another town. There was water everywhere, we were on a ship! But I reached inside him and took something that should never be taken. I could do that right now to you, or anyone else.”

Zuko’s eyes widened. Blood bending. He hopes that man never realizes what exactly she did to him. The fire nation would not stop until every waterbender was extinct if they knew that was possible. He is in awe of the woman beside him. “Katara, I think you are amazing.” He blurts out, before he can even explain.

She barks out a half laugh, “What? Zuko you SAW it-”

“Yes, and that is the first time I have ever seen it. Iv chased you all over the world and seen you fight many times. All those times, you didn’t use that power. Do you know what the fire nation would be doing with that power if they had it? Marching people right into prison camps. Stopping a whole fleet of human hearts before the battle even starts.” He meets her eyes now, “But this blood bending you can do… you didn’t even hurt the man with it. If there is one place its justified to lose yourself, I’d say on your mother’s killer is one. The restraint you show in not using it against every one of your enemies, your enemies who have murdered your family for generations, is more than I have ever had. I would use any weapon at my disposal against Azula or my father if I thought it would give me an edge. You’re nothing but good and even more powerful and amazing than I thought.” He means it. and he hopes she can hear it in his voice.

She only cries more and he thinks he’s made things worse, his eyes close and his heart drops- then he feels her hand on his shoulder. “Is this ok? Zuko, I.. I don’t want to sit alone right now.” She looks exhausted in the weak light of the moon filtering through the storm as she leans into him. He almost forgets to answer.

“Yeah, this is fine, this is.. this is fine.” Zuko doesn’t know what to do. He has never been able to comfort anyone with his touch. He slides his arm around her shoulders because thats what it seems like she wants. She exhales shakily and turns further into him and his heart skips a beat. She is warm in the chilly air and clinging to him like she needs it to breath. She is almost in his lap and he has already never been this close with anyone.

“I’m not as strong as you think Zuko.” she whispers into his shoulder. “I’m so sorry for how angry I’ve been at you. I knew this whole time, ever since the South Pole, there has been good in you too. I just didn’t want to be wrong again, after the crystal caves so I lashed out. I was fighting my instincts to trust you. This journey just proves to me again that I was right from the beginning.” A pause, her tears coming harder. “I’m sorry I’m such a mess right now.”

“Il do whatever you need of me Katara.” He says quietly, instead of what he wants to say. I need this too. You are stronger than I think. Don’t ever leave this spot. He tightens his embrace and she does too.

They listen to the storm outside. Finally, Katara sobs openly against him. He rubs circles on her back and lets her cry. He doesnt press her to talk anymore. He breaths into her hair and can’t pinpoint what he has done to earn this trust, but he will do everything in his power to make sure she is never this upset again. If he has to personally kill every fire bender who has wronged her. Eventually her sobs clear and she relaxes, still not letting go of his shirt. They fall into steady silence, with only the sound of the rain outside, and he can only think of how wonderful it feels to be a comfort to another person instead of a source of pain.

It gets steadily chillier in the cave and he eventually releases her to reach for her blankets and pull them over her shoulders. He’s not going to push her off anytime soon, he will let himself freeze to death and not sleep a wink if she needs it. When he brings his arms back around, Katara still doesn’t speak and pulls them down from their sitting position leaning against the wall. His heart is about to beat out of his chest and he knows she can probably feel it. She pulled them so he’s lying down on his bedroll and placed her head on his chest like she means to sleep this way.

Zuko is absolutely frozen. One of her knees is resting on his thigh, her arms are around his torso, and she is so soft. He wants to curl around her. He wants to express something unnamed.

“Zuko, you home?” He can hear the smile in her voice. At least she is feeling better, his racing mind supplies. “I hope this is ok too. Please.”

He stiltedly brings his arms back around her now prone form. He lets one of his long legs tangle with hers. His shirt rides up and her fingers are quick to find a bit of his skin. He doesn’t know if this is right but it feels like it is. He sighs and tries to live in this moment forever before he speaks and ruins it.

“Katara, I just don’t want you to regret any of this tomorrow and realize that I’m the enemy again. I don’t know if I can take it if you hate me again tomorrow.” He admits. He pulls her even closer anyway. Every part of their bodies touching. Gods she feels so good against him. Like she was made to be there. Why has he never done this with anyone before? “And iv never…” He tries to pick the right words. “I’ve never been this vulnerable with anyone.”

“I promise you that I won’t hate you again. I’ve wanted to trust you for so long and truthfully, I already did. I wouldn’t have come with you if I didn’t.” Katara said, “This was not easy for you either. Offering to take me across the world where we planned to murder a man from your country in cold blood. I would have never known who killed my mother without you and no one else in my entire life would have come with me for this. Aang and Sokka never understood what I needed and they still don’t. I love them both but I knew you wouldn’t judge me no matter what I chose, even if I was rude to you this whole time.”

“I could never judge any choice you make.” He shivered and lowered his face to her hair. “I’ve admired you since I met you. Even when I sent pirates after you. I really hoped you would choose my side then. I’m glad you didn’t now.”

Katara seems embarrassed for a moment and squirms. He jerks slightly when a knee brushes an intimate part of him and he feels a slight grin from her against his shoulder. He has no idea if that was an accident but his head is spinning. She speaks, “I know fire nation royalty aren’t particularly touchy feely.” She runs a slender hand down his ribcage and he struggles not to let on how much the sensations are affecting him. “but my people are. and it has been what seems like a lifetime since anyone has just let me cry and comforted me like a human. Even when I was still at home.. our village lost so many of its softer customs to the demands of war.”

“The only people who have ever even hugged me in my entire life were my mother and my uncle, Katara.” He admits, embarrassed too. “I.. you.. this is nice.” he settles on. Nice doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Katara only hums. He feels her sigh contentedly and hopes she is done teasing him. Katara is pushed against every plane of his body and he thinks his heart might still fail from how lucky he is to have earned her trust despite everything between them. Her breaths slow until he is sure she is asleep. The rain still falls outside and he watches her and he watches the rain and just feels until finally the warmth and contentment begins to pull him toward sleep. His last thought is about how he hopes he will get the chance to do this again one day… tomorrow they have to go back to the Avatar and face their destinies.

#zutara #zutara ff #zutara fanfiction #atla #avatar #pls respond #im a decade late #is the fandom still alive

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littlemomountain · 5 years

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TianShan, Police AU

Background: In this fictional work, Mo Guan Shan and He Tian have never met before. Mo Guan Shan was unable to afford to go to college, so he works at a restaurant and other odd jobs and lives at home with his mother. His father is still in jail. He Tian is a police officer to the dismay of his brother He Cheng and to the disgust of his father. He Tian is a couple of years older than Mo Guan Shan.

***************

“Will I really sink this low?” Mo Guan Shan thought as he considered his options. He was inside a pharmacy, perusing through random aisles in an effort to look casual until he found himself in front of the section he desperately needed at the moment: Medicine.

His mother had been sick over the past weeks, coughing her lungs out and having a sweltering fever that had her calling out for his dad at times in her delirious state. It made Mo feel miserable and even though he had been preparing her the best soup he could possibly conjure up and putting cool washcloths on her forehead, there were no signs of improvement. The prescriptions she had helped her for a time, but she had since run out and could not afford to get them refilled. Mo had insisted on taking her to the hospital and vowing to get the medical costs paid over time, but she would not relent, and this was the way things stood.

Mo Guan Shan was working hard at a third-rate restaurant as a cook and taking overtime assignments to make ends meat, but he had no choice but to prioritize the rent and other monthly expenses over the medication, leaving next to nothing left over for this predicament. Mo felt he was running out of time if he didn’t do anything soon.

In preparation for what he decided he needed to do, he had worn a black cap and a white surgical mask to conceal most of his face. He wore a black jacket and had the hoodie pulled over his head to cover his not-so-subtle red hair. Gray sweatpants and plain white sneakers completed his look.

Now, sighing low, with sweat trickling down his forehead, he shakily but quickly began to take acetaminophens, aspirins, and expectorants, selecting common brand names such as Advil and Tylenol, but also some items at random in his haste and nervousness. Albeit being his first theft, he did a solid job in concealing the stolen items in his person, and as soon as he felt he had taken enough items, he made a beeline towards the exit. As soon as he heard the alarm at the exit and the cashier yelling out, he was running in an all-out sprint.

He pushed past people, with some, mostly women, screaming out in surprise, and others gruffly yelling, “Watch it, you idiot!”

It didn’t matter to him. All of it seemed like a blur, as he raced at the speed his heart was crashing inside his chest, pushing his legs to take him as far away as he could.

That’s when he began to hear the sirens. “Shit, shit, shit,” he chanted in his head. He wove into the crowds some time longer in order to lose himself among them, no longer running, but trying to blend in. Once he could no longer hear the police sirens and after he felt he had created enough distance between himself and the store he had just robbed, Mo Guan Shan turned into a dark alley planning to head back home to his mom, a mixture of guilt and renewed hope filling his chest.

“You really thought you could get away?” A man’s calm voice called from behind.

Mo Guan Shan paled, and spun around quickly, swinging his fist. His response wasn’t quick enough, though, as the man caught his fist squarely and with a resounding smack of skin. He twisted Mo’s arm behind his back and roughly crashed him against the nearest building surface. “Ugh!” Mo Guan Shan grunted in pain, and did everything he could to squirm out of the firm hold. By this time, the man was still holding on to his arm, but his other hand was on Mo’s neck, pressing his face to the wall.

“Robbing a pharmacy, and now attempted to assault an officer? You really want it bad, don’t you?” Mo Guan Shan could hear the amusement in the man’s voice, and angrily retorted, “Do you get off on using excessive force, asshole?!”

“Watch your mouth.” Mo Guan Shan felt the hand behind his arm gone, only to be spun around, again, getting shoved against the wall, his shoulders being gripped harshly. “Don’t you know who you’re speaking to?”

Mo was staring into black eyes defiantly. Finally getting to see the man’s face, he could see the handsome outline of the chiseled jawline, the well-defined Cupid’s bow framing the top of his lips, and the raven-black hair that slightly came over his eyes. He could make out the dreaded blue uniform. Then, Mo saw one of the man’s eyebrow shoot up in surprise.

The man removed one of the hands on Mo’s shoulder and brought it up to Mo’s face, his fingers reaching to remove the surgical mask.

Mo turned his head to the side and squeezed his eyes shut tightly. “Please,” he whispered, dropping the facade of fearlessness. What would his family think? His thoughts flickered to his father, who was still in jail, and his heart filled with dread at having failed in both keeping his mom safe and himself out of trouble.

The officer blinked. “How cute,” he thought. What an unexpected night this turned out to be. Not even an hour had passed that He Tian was thinking how bored out of his mind he was from the lack of action. Then he was called in for a theft at a pharmaceutical company, and was able trail behind the figure of the man responsible just far enough to catch him unawares. Now before him was this clearly beautiful man based on his physical build and the unusual and captivating color of his red eyes. He felt like bullying Mo.

“Hmmm. But I’ve already caught you, there is no place you can escape to, and I need to take you back with me. So I’m going to have to see your face.” He Tian tried reaching out once more, only to have the young man bring his hands softly to his chest and rest them there. He could feel him shaking.

“Please,” he heard again. “Let me go.” Mo’s eyes were still closed, his face downcast. He Tian’s heart skipped a beat. This has never happened to him before. He Tian had lost count at the number of times both men and women have begged for him to turn a blind eye, to let them go, but he was never once swayed by their efforts. They were always too insincere in their apologies, and most often were shameless in their flirtation. It was mostly that, the awful flirting. The types of people he came across didn’t regret their crimes at all. The man before him was different, and so He Tian felt he first needed to understand the motivation behind the petty crime to get a feel for him.

“Let’s make a deal,” He Tian heard himself saying, “I get to take off your mask, and you tell me why you did it. If your can convince me that you had good reason to do this, I’ll consider letting you go.” Simultaneously, He Tian was thinking to himself, “What the hell am I saying right now?!”

He Tian watched as the man opened up his eyes and faced him. His eyes betrayed uncertainty, but he gave a slow nod. At this response, He Tian slipped his finger into the corner of the mask and slid it down the man’s face, which revealed underneath a work of beauty. Fuck. His hand lingered on the mask, cupping his jaw.

“So why’d you do it?” He Tian asked.

Mo Guan Shan removed his hands from He Tian’s chest and let them drop to his sides. “My mom,” he started, his voice trembling. “She needs me, but I can’t do anything. This was all I could think of.” He Tian watched as Mo reached into his pocket to show him a medication he had stolen. But He Tian wasn’t focusing on that anymore. He just hated how the man was holding back tears, and that he was the cause of it. He had to hold himself back from embracing him right there.

“I’m sorry.” He said this sincerely. He Tian was still mulling over his own actions. He knew he could get fired for this, but then again, he wasn’t worried about his future. He had more than enough wealth, and more than enough alternative paths he could see himself taking. And right now, he really wanted to win this person over with everything he had. “What’s your name?”

Mo shook his head. “If I tell you, you’ll definitely arrest me.”

“I said I won’t if I found your reason to be good enough. Which I do.” He Tian lowered the hand at his jaw to his neck. “What’s your name?” He asked again, calmly.

Mo Guan Shan considered giving him a fake one, but thought against it as any more lies could ruin his chances of being let go for real, if this man weren’t lying to him. “Mo. Mo Guan Shan. That’s my name.”

“Don’t close mountain?” He Tian thought. What a fitting name.

“Little Mo,” the nickname slipped from his lips easily, playfully. “There’s one more thing I need from you before I let you go.”

“I’ve taken off the mask and given you my name. What more can I give you?” Mo was starting to think He Tian was lying to him, and he was panicking at the thought of being deceived.

He Tian could read this from his expression, and cut in quickly, “The next bit is all for me. I’m doing something I should not be doing by letting you go, so my next request is a selfish one, really.”

Mo Guan Shan cocked his head to the side, and his brows furrowed. “Which is?”

He Tian leaned in close, causing Mo to step back, blushing at the proximity. “A kiss. That’s what I want.”

“Wha-what are you saying?!” He Tian watched as Mo turned into a tomato before his eyes. “No way am I kissing you!” Mo Guan Shan abruptly pulled back, and began to walk away angrily. The next thing he felt was something cold on his wrist, and a click. Mo looked down to see a handcuff, and looked at He Tian feeling betrayed, only to then see He Tian put the remaining cuff onto his own wrist with another click. A vein was beginning to burst at Mo’s temples.

“What the fuck are you doing, you chicken-dick?!” Mo Guan Shan was livid, but He Tian smiled his devilish smile and said, “While you warm up that kiss for me, let’s go visit auntie to see how that medicine helps.” He was so over doing his job at the moment. He would pay back the medicine cost out of his own pocket and sweep this case under the rug for Mo.

“We can’t go around like this,” Mo said in a flustered tone. And realizing that He Tian meant to follow him, he added, “And like hell you’re coming with me!”

“You know how to get out of this,” He Tian replied nonchalantly, ignoring the second remark completely.

“I fucking hate you.” Mo really could not come home like this. And he couldn’t keep his mom waiting anymore. Mo pulled He Tian toward him by pulling at the handcuffed wrist, and he touched his lips briefly to He Tian’s. The ladder was not satisfied, but he was peaked.

“I’ll show you what a kiss is.” He Tian wrapped his free arm around Mo’s back and pulled him against his body.

“Let me g-“ Mo Guan Shan couldn’t finish the words before he felt He Tian plunge his slick tongue inside Mo’s parted lips. He Tian rolled his tongue and sucked at Mo’s, coaxing him to play. Mo Guan Shan could feel an unfamiliar heat running up his chest, and he was surprised when he felt himself moaning into the kiss. He pulled back suddenly, surprised at himself, breathing heavily. He Tian touched his forehead to Mo’s, black hair brushing against red, and when Mo met his gaze, it were as if He Tian were undressing him with his eyes. He had to look away. “The handcuffs,” was all he needed to say.

“A little more.” He Tian came in once again, and this time Mo was actively fighting to dominate in the kiss, their tongues coming together over and over, wet with desire, making He Tian become more rough, pausing to capture Mo’s lower lip between his teeth and bite, and tightening his embrace on Mo. “Ah!” He Tian knew he needed to stop soon, so he kissed Mo Guan Shan once more strongly, and then the next series of kisses became softer until the last, feathery touch. Mo Guan Shan was flushed by the end of it and didn’t even notice when He Tian had unlocked the handcuffs binding them together.

He Tian stood before him, unyielding, and by this time Mo Guan Shan knew that no amount of cursing would get He Tian to leave him. He knew He Tian was coming with him. And part of him wanted He Tian to be there, which surprised him, and he didn’t know what drew him to someone that he would have absolutely despised in any other circumstances. How strange a feeling all this was, and how foreign to have this feeling of relief, trust even.

Mo Guan Shan walked ahead, feeling as He Tian trailed behind him like a stray puppy that just got picked up by a new, loving owner.

“If you think you are coming home dressed like that to give my mom a heart attack, you got another thing coming,” Mo said.

“Whatever you say, Little Mo.”

He Tian draped his arm on Mo Guan Shan’s shoulders as they walked together, their silhouettes draped together by the shadows of the night.

#19 days #old xian #tianshan #he tian #mo guan shan #police au #my writing

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cricketrigby · 4 years

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* ( kristine froseth ) ⁠— cricket rigby has lived in somewhere for 23 years, which is crazy considering they are only twenty three. you can usually find her working at the somewhere roller rink . when i think of strawberry bubblegum, heart shaped sunglasses, & twirling the stem of a rose between your fingertips, i can’t help but think of them as well. ( pepper, twenty four, she/her, est )

ABOUT THE MUN. sick of thinking! won’t be doing that again

hello all! my name is pepper and i have never been on time for anything ever in my life so it’s pretty fitting that i’m the last one to get my intro up dkjdkj love this for me,,, always on brand. anyways, i am Returning to the rpc kind of maybe after a month hiatus and i wanted something cute and chill to try and get back into the swing of things... i’m hoping this group will be that! but yeah please bear with me i am Definitely going to be a bit rusty,,,, and i am sorry in advance. but Anyways, enough about that and onto some fun facts about me. to start, i just turned twenty four two weeks ago and i am Still in shock about it so jot that down, i hate it here. i have like,,, the opposite of a green thumb, i have killed every plant i have ever had, rip peter the succulent you were a good egg. i regularly say i’m feeling ___ in this chillis tonight despite never being to chillis. i enjoy garbage movies, like the worse it is the better (tyler perry movies, the fast and the furious series, etc). i straight up don’t get like critically acclaimed movies i’m ngl,,, like really like Great movies go straight over my head rip but Anyways moving on to who we’re all here for, ms cricket rigby !

BIO. we need sluttier music…..

cricket juliet rigby was born to arthur godwin rigby and sonya marie rigby nee bankcult right here in good old somewhere florida. the story is that her parents were actually on their way out of town when cricket decided to ‘jump’ out of her mother’s belly and arrive to the party early. her parents always liked to tell the story like it was cute or funny or something but kit always saw it a bit differently. she had her chance to get out and she screwed it up. and now she’s literally never left this hell hole since. it’s like she got impatient and accidentally screwed herself over for it. and if that isn’t foreshadowing for the rest of her life she doesn’t know what is.

it was her mom’s idea to name her cricket. she said it was because of the way she used to kick with both legs in the womb. like she was jumping. her father found her name ridiculous and insisted on calling her juliet, but that was to be expected. her mother was always the fanciful one out of the pair of them. you see, ricki’s father was a pretty successful lawyer and her mother was a children’s book illustrator. to put it simply her father was the type of person to give kids floss on halloween and her mother was the type to slip you a cookie when the ‘adults’ weren’t looking. they were complete opposites, honestly to the point where sometimes cricket didn’t even understand how her parents got together. but somehow against all odds they did, and they stayed together to boot. loved each other too. her mother always made her father loosen up a bit and her father usually kept her mother grounded. they suited each other, and they adored each other in a way cricket never really saw any other parents doing. well, until they didn’t.

if cricket didn’t understand how her parents got together she sure understood why they didn’t stay together. you’d have to be blind as a bat to not see that one coming.

her parents fought constantly as cricket got older. the kind of loud, explosive fights that woke a kid up in the middle of the night and made the neighbors look at you with sympathy. there was no abuse or anything serious like that, or even cheating. her parents simply stopped liking each other. and that was honestly even scarier. that her parents could simply wake up one day and not like each other anymore.

they called it quits when cricket turned thirteen. her mother broke the news to her over a shared joint on the beach. and honestly, it wasn’t really the kind of news you wanted to process while high, but well, nobody ever asked cricket. nobody ever really asked cricket anything.

but well, her mother asked cricket one thing. to break the news to her little sister. cause yeah, she had one of those. kimberly. a regular sensible name for a regular sensible girl. not that there’s anything wrong with being regular or sensible. it’s just that cricket and her mother were neither of those things. if cricket took after her mother, then kimberly took after their father. her baby sister wanted to be an accountant for god’s sake. what six year old wants to be an accountant?

anyways, cricket played messenger. she broke the news to her sister and comforted her in the aftermath. she listened to her mother as she told fanciful, beautiful stories about how much more she wanted from her life. and one sunny thursday afternoon, the very thursday she got her first period, the very thursday that a girl really needs her mom, like really needs her mom, she came home and didn’t have one anymore. or a sister either apparently. all she had was a dad crumpled on the living room floor around a heart shaped sticky note of all things.

who leaves their fucking family with a fucking sticky note?

apparently dad was the only one in the family who didn’t know he and mom were over. cricket would feel bad about it if she wasn’t so busy feeling sorry for herself. because apparently her mother packed up her and kimmy’s things, picked up kimberly from school and just left somewhere forever. leaving cricket behind. just like that. cricket didn’t understand it. just the night before her and her mother were laying back on her bed, laughing. and now she was tossed aside like a discarded toy. second best in a two person race. cricket had never quite dealt with abandonment until that moment, but her first taste of it hurt like a bitch. it hurt all over.

but things only got worse. cause then came stella. stella was cricket’s godmother. her mother’s best friend. the woman who would slip cricket money so she could buy herself a red lipstick at the mac counter or pick herself up that tube top she’d been wanting so badly. the woman who came with cricket and her mother when she got her first bra. the woman who was supposed to be there for her in the aftermath of all this. but apparently stella took the job a bit too seriously.

she fucked her father. and not long after that she married him. cricket fought them every step of the way, but they still did it. and well, she had to live with it. her mother and best friend was gone, and this impostor was taking her place. and her father was just letting it all happen. in fact he was happy to do it. that’s what he kept telling her anyways. to let him be happy. that he deserved to be happy. but didn’t she deserve to be happy too?

her mother sent letters sometimes, and kimmy would occasionally call the house. cricket never opened the letters, and she never really spoke much to kimmy. i mean, it wasn’t kimberly’s fault, and cricket knew that. after all, she was six. she never had a choice either. but cricket couldn’t help being jealous of the little shit. kimberly missed dad so much and she wanted to come home. but she was out of somewhere, and she was with mom. she had everything cricket ever wanted and she wasn’t even appreciating it. it was a hard pill to swallow. eventually cricket started cutting the calls short.

cricket and her father never saw eye to eye. he kicked her out of the house when she was seventeen after an argument between cricket and stella got so bad that things got physical on both their parts. and instead of kicking out the woman who hit his daughter, arthur got rid of the daughter instead. cricket didn’t mind. she simply went to live with her boyfriend at the time (who much like all of cricket’s boyfriends in the past was handsome, cool, and most importantly old enough to have his own place). after that she never really turned back. just... moved from boyfriends place to boyfriends place to girlfriends place to boyfriends place. saw her dad on holidays or when she needed money or under duress. and stayed in somewhere. for now.

PERSONALITY. feeling like the prettiest girl in the crawl space right now

as you can probably tell from that mess of an bio, this is my first time playing cricket so i don’t really have her personality nailed down yet BUT

ECCENTRIC. cricket got her mother’s weird hippy gene for sure honestly. she might even be an artist lowkey because of it. definitely is the type to just say weird as hell shit without shame. your local manic pixie dream girl tbh

PROMISCUOUS. she a hoe and that’s a fact. love that for her though! gets around and is pretty shameless about it honestly. just here for a good time. kind of charming naturally and just generally like?? flirtatious?? the type to flirt with a cop to get out of a ticket. also the type to cry to get out of a really bad dad. the type to go on a date just cause her fridge is empty and yk a girl’s gotta eat. the kind of girl who had a bunch of rumours about her in high school like that she slept with so and so under the bleachers at an assembly or that she once did something nearly impossible on a trampoline.

CONTRADICTORY. cricket is a compassionate person but she can also hold a grudge for a long ass time. still doesn’t really talk to her mom or little sister. but if you need a ride across town cricket will just give it to you even if she barely knows you. if you’re hungry and come to the roller rink she will slip you some fries free of charge even if she’ll probably get in trouble for it. will fight her stepmom ON SIGHT and slam a bitch down during roller derby but like will get so excited over something simple like the moon being out sdkdskj this bitch makes no sense y’all.

MYSTERIOUS. at least to other people i feel like. cricket doesn’t really talk about herself or serious things, and she will change the topic if someone is getting too close. she’s the type who doesn’t open up easy, and therefore the type that a lot of guys like... idealize and build up into this mysterious untouchable thing yk? but she’s just a dumb girl who doesn’t want to talk about her feelings underneath it all sdkjdkj she’s just stupid

HEADCANNONS. at least whatever is wrong with me is really really funny

lost her virginity at fourteen around the anniversary of her mother leaving. unfortunately the type who seeks love and acceptance in all the wrong places. tends to self sabotage when things are too good, or literally just go for people who are bad for her. bi af tho hey~ has been in more relationships than she can count for sure. will duck behind a wall when she sees any of her exes at the grocery store.

does ROLLER DERBY! will fight a bitch in the ring! very good at it despite how cute and angelic she looks sdksdk can and WILL slam a bitch into a wall. it’s just a fun hobby for her, but she loved the camraderie of it honestly. her team is a ragtag group of misfits and i Love them

like i said in the chat, will now put up posters around town with a cute little polaroid of herself and her number on those little tab things just for shits and giggles to see who calls. will completely prank anyone who does call for fun

idk why but i feel like the roller rink is called l8r sk8r or something cheesy like that,,, i feel it in my Soul. also imagine the type of place where cricket goes around on rollerblades serving food, so yeah, you can order food probably and some showy girl on rollerblades will serve it to you

has been a muse before. like guys have written songs about her in high school. one guy painted a portrait of her and it went in a literal gallery. is always very flattered but very like,,, cool thanks bye!

i totally forgot to include this but the rigby’s are rich y’all. like country club rich. her daddy’s got that big money and their house is Huge but you would never be able to tell by the way cricket acts, she’s a mess.

speaking of, her name is indeed cricket (rip) but you can call her kit, kitty, rick, ricki, jiminey,,, all of it is valid

the vibe is madchen amick folks,,, that’s the whole vibe and honestly she’s probably cricket’s style inspo like twin peaks??? maybe her favourite show

a feel like she might also be a lifeguard as a side hustle, but she only ever fills in when no one else can you know. she’s the emergency call in, and when she’s there she spends most of her time sitting in her lifeguard chair in her little red swim suit and flirting with whoever comes by to see her like sdkjsd is she good at her job? no. does she bring traffic to the beach? probably!

WANTED CONNECTIONS. i’m saving my brain for special occasions. if i use it every day it’ll get dirty

i would love an ex for her honestly,,, an ex bf or gf where cricket sabotaged things just when they were getting good? an ex on good terms maybe! an ex will they won’t they thing where they almost got together but never did? an old childhood crush for either party! a childhood enemy is also sexy! an old neighbor! someone who’s sibling she used to date or something! someone new to town that she’s intrigued by! someone new to town she doesn’t get along with (maybe cause of a bad first impression or something?) a one night stand! a fwb! a ewb! a BEST FRIEND GOD PLEASE! m or f i am down either way. i would kill for a girl squad though. maybe an ex best friend who hates cricket cause she slept with their boyfriend in high school or something. a party friend! someone she does roller derby with. someone she always sees in the crowd during roller derby. idk someone who she regularly sees at the motel she has her hookups at, maybe cause they’re also hooking up or maybe cause they just come to the motel often for some reason or honestly maybe they’re a vacationer that would make sense. uh someone she saved from drowning one time! OH someone she pretended to be dating to make an ex jealous or avoid one or something at one point,,,and anything else tbh we can absolutely brain storm! like this and i will slide into your dms <3

#vthqintro #kristine's smile in the gif above... that's it that's the tag #c.r. | bio.

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mintgator · 5 years

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MDZS fic ideas

Things I’d love to see in Mo Doa Zu Shi fanfiction. These are my notes for things I have told myself I am not allowed to write. I’ve read...so many fics for this fandom, like most of the archive, and I’m sad that I’m pretty much at the point of rereading/waiting for updates. These ideas have been swimming around in my head that I have no time to write, so PLEASE someone take them and gimme some new words to read, I beg you. Of course, end goal should be wangxian in some way, because otherwise WHAT IS THE POINT, but I don’t have time to write these, so...here you go. Please let me know if you use them. I wanna read these, but I don’t have time to write them, so maybe someone else will want to.

*Time Travel AU in which WWX goes back and for some reason tells Madame Yu all the bullshit that’s gonna happen, so they team up and fix all the things. I just...really want Mama Yu to like WWX thanks. And dear god, LET JC BE HAPPY! I need so much more resolution on that front. Even the book did not satisfy me. I WANT MY BOYS TO GET ALONG! And I want Mama Yu to not be awful and abusive to WWX! I mean she had reasons for being salty but uh that is NOT good justification for the shit she pulled with WWX. Also, hell, let Jiang Fengmian get his core melted and have Madame Yu run the sect. WE NEED FEMALE REP.

*Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze live so WWX gets to grow up with his parents. He meets LWJ as a rogue cultivator or something idk. This would make a fun oneshot.

*LWJ’s mother lives! Honestly, I just want happy Lan-fam. Can I get that please? Just how much would it change the dynamic of the story if LWJ’s father led the sect properly and his mother wasn’t locked away in a goddamn building and actually got to spend more time with her kids? I am forever salty that we’ll never know why Mama Lan killed her hubby’s teacher or w/e. Somebody GIVE ME SOME REASONING.

*WWX gets taken in and claimed as heir by Wen Ruohan...and WWX doesn’t learn that their ways are wrong until he’s at least a teen (perhaps when sent to train at the Cloud Recesses?) and realizes how the other Sects really feel about them. Give him some convoluted morals that he has to unlearn. Make Wen Xu and Wen Chao hate him for being chosen over them. Change Wei Wuxian/Wei Ying into Wen Ying/Wen Wuxian and have it be a secret that he’s not actually a Wen. Have WWX actually not want the Wen Sect destroyed because despite how messed up its people are, not all of them are bad--mostly just those in power (it still baffles me that the other clans just DESTROYED an entire sect, like I know the Wens burned Lotus Pier but DAMN that’s cold!) Even some kind of variation where WWX influences Wen Ruohan and his children’s evil mindset would be really interesting. Otherwise, can you imagine WWX with Chenqing on the Wen side? Ouch. Also, this sticks WWX with Wen Ning and Wen Qing early on and I LOVE THEM, so there’s that.

*WWX doesn’t come back after his first death, and LWJ achieves immortality because he’s stubbornly still looking/waiting for WWX. Two centuries pass (we’re going to ignore any technological advancements and replace them with cultivation advancements or something) and LWJ ends up befriending a nice lady cultivator who falls for him, and even though he only considers her a friend, he agrees to marry her. They have 1 very stubborn gay daughter (only from consummation sex which brings up a boatload of other problems) who somehow stumbles across a reborn!WWX with all his memories--daughter is hella bitter that her father clearly does not return her mother’s affections and that he is apparently pining for someone who is so long dead that people don’t actually remember his name (ie - people remember Yiling Laozu but not that his name was Wei Wuxian). But without knowing who he is, the daughter ends up liking WWX until she finds out the truth about who he is and drama ensues. Can you tell I’ve wanted to write this one so badly? I mean I could just about draft an outline, but I HAVE TO FOCUS ON MY ORIGINAL NOVEL I’M SORRY.

*Time Travel AU in which Yanli alone gets a do-over with all the future knowledge and fixes everything just by being her amazing self. I feel like she’d be a really keen manipulator.

*The story from NHS’s pov. I wanna read all his manipulations and him putting them into place. Is there anything like this out there? Because oh my GOD I wanna know what’s going through his head sometimes. I really, really do!

*Jiang Cheng/Wen Ning - AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THIS WOULD BE AN ENTERTAINING SHIP? Just...I sort of tolerate the JC/LXC and JC/NHS pairings because they’re commonly used, but honestly, I’m not crazy about either one. However, WN is such a sweetheart and JC is such a hothead and there is so much opportunity for drama there. Also, in some cases depending on timeline...WN is, yunno, a corpse--a fixable thing if you weave in WWX’s involvement and make him and JC get along again. GIVE ME THAT. Like I don’t read much other than wangxian focused fic, but I would read the hell out of this (also you could easily balance those two pairings).

*Somewhere in the waiting gap, LWJ is given three tasks by a deity of some sort who promises to bring WWX back if he completes him...but these tasks have to UTTERLY go against LWJ’s character and completely destroy his reputation as Hanguang Jun. Honestly, this could go cracky or painfully dark.

*No idea how, but Mo Xuanyu manages to bring WWX back fully in-tact and they both get to live. WWX of course takes MXY under his wing, and together they avoid the notice of even LWJ for a lot longer than WWX did in canon. I would love to see them figuring out the whole JGY plot in the background and LWJ tailing them around just a little too late to the party each time a major event goes down until finding out in some kind of dramatic finale that WWX has been back for a while. I have yet to see characterization for MXY that I really like. Most people make him either ridiculously whiny or so much like WWX that they may as well be the same character. :/ So, uh, maybe a different approach? I mean MXY is allowed some complaints, he’s had a rough time of things, but come ON.

*Lan Wanji never finds Wen Yuan and poor widdle Shizui manages to survive into adolescence living on his own in the burial mounds...accompanied by the fragmented ghost of his Xian-gege who very slowly is pieced back together by A-Yuan, who has sort of naturally started using demonic cultivation and somehow develops a heroic reputation as a rogue cultivator. Why? Because he’s Shizui, and Shizui is SO PURE OK? Maybe he has a fascination with LWJ, even though his memories of Rich Gege are kind of fuzzy. Shizui matchmakes his two ridiculous dads. Oh and inquiry doesn’t work on WWX cuz his soul is shrouded by the resentful energy in the burial mounds.

*The Wen clan burns the Cloud Recesses to the ground around the same time WWX has lost his parents, but LWJ somehow escapes. Reportedly, everyone in GusuLan is now dead, but he somehow ends up in the same town as WWX. They meet and bond immediately. Maybe LWJ saves WWX from the dogs. Anyway, JFM never finds WWX, so he and LWJ grow up together in poverty, eventually teaching themselves cultivation and night hunting, until their fame grows so much that they catch the attention of the Wen clan (or something). Have them ridiculously dedicated to each other, already in love and thinking of themselves as cultivation partners. I want their bond to straight-up shock people. LET THEM BE SHAMELESS. LWJ would have to have a fake name and wear something other than white.

*LWJ and WWX figure out their relationship stuff a lot sooner and end up building a proper sect in the burial mounds. I want LWJ wearing WWX’s colors. I want demonic cultivation to work hand-in-hand with regular cultivation. I want them to find artifacts or books or something in the burial mounds indicating a civilization used to be there that also studied demonic cultivation, or maybe they actually find some long forgotten god/dess of demonic cultivation who empowers them in exchange for worship.

*LWJ was not whipped for protecting WWX, he was imprisoned for life, not in GusuLan, but in some godforsaken prison that is so intense no one in the clans really likes to talk about it. I want him flung into some hellprison with ghosts and demons, where only his cultivation keeps him alive (and relatively sane) for that decade-ish gap until WWX’s fragmented ghost somehow finds him. Of course, WWX realizes LWJ loves him, which triggers in WWX a want to finally come back to life. He finds a way back to the living world and rains hell upon the people who decided it was a good idea to imprison LWJ until someone finally tells him how to get to the prison. He frees LWJ and helps him recover while all the JGY stuff is going on the background. Wangxian returns to the cultivation world in time to stop that catastrophe. (Before LWJ is imprisoned, he makes LXC promise to take care of A-Yuan of course!)

*WWX gets flung into the burial mounds and embraces demonic cultivation, but realizes he has somehow bound himself to the awful place and can’t leave. Over time, he lures stragglers and refugees to the mounds, where he welcomes them to stay and live safely. Outside, the Sunshot Campaign is a failure and what remains of the sects bow in subservience to the Wen clan. Inflicted with some permanent disabilities from the war and left to run GusuLan now that his brother and uncle are dead (sorry Xichen), Lan Wanji never gets the chance to go looking for WWX. Thirteen years pass and WWX has absorbed so much resentful energy from the burial mounds that he is practically a part of it. Finally, he is able to leave, but the world he finds is much different from the one he remembers, and his health fades fast when he is outside of the mounds. Somehow, WWX figures out that demonic cultivation doesn’t damage the body/soul/temperament if somehow counterbalanced properly with a golden core--and since he doesn’t have one, he and LWJ do a soulbond thing so that their cores (WWX: demonic and LWJ: golden) balance each other. Then he can take on the Wens.

I could literally whip out ideas nonstop, but these are the big ones that have been just...beating on the walls of skull trying to get out. Of course, they don’t always account for everything, so more thought is needed. Anyway, if you write any of these, please let me know so I can read them, and of course a shoutout would be nice. c: My username on ao3 is the same as here. Enjoy~!

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #wangxian #fic #fanfic #ideas

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fanfic-inator795 · 5 years

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RotTMNT/Baron Jitsu fanfiction: Dating… With Children - Chapter Five

(Also on AO3 if you want to leave a comment or kudos)

Plot: Benjamin Draxum hardly considered himself a man of high social standing. Not because he was uncouth or unworthy of it, mind you, but simply because he didn’t have much of a social life. Hard to have one when he usually spent his days at work, cooped up in a lab for so long that he often had his lunches in there, and his nights at home reading or doing research for more personal projects. But perhaps meeting handsome semi-retired movie star - as well as his four young sons - could change all that…

((Thanks again for all the comments and kudoses on the last chapter! ^v^ Glad to know you guys are just as excited about this story continuing on as I am! Anyway, enjoy guys!))

It was another somewhat lazy afternoon in the Jitsu home. Donnie was in one of his research moods and had sentenced himself to infinite studying in his room, only being prompted to stop when it came time for meals, snacks and naps. His brothers had been a bit disappointed, but respected his hobbies enough to leave him be, offering an open invitation to play if he finished his studies early.

Outside of the boy in purple’s bedroom, things were a bit rowdier, thanks to one extra person.

“I'm gonna get you, Jim!” April grinned, sliding around the corner and grabbing the arm of the loveseat to keep from slipping on her socks. She waved her foam bat around wildly, bellowing, “No one escapes the Alien Queen!”

“Jupiter Jim does!” Leo retorted, lighting up his toy sword, “Jupiter Jim ALWAYS has an awesome plan! And if the queen won't leave him alone, then he’ll just fight her for her planet!”

“Fine by me!” April started to climb over the arm of the loveseat-

“*ahem*” April froze, foot in midair before quickly being lowered back onto the floor. Right, no fighting on top of couches, chairs or beds. That was how Raph hurt his head and Mikey nearly broke his arm last time. “Sorry, Lou…”

“It’s fine, just remember next time,” Lou told her, keeping his head perfectly still as he felt tiny fingers still combing through it. With a smirk, he added, “I believe that it is dry enough outside now for it to be the perfect arena for your duel, my queen.”

April looked at Lou, then at Leo, who was already grinning. Spinning on his heel, the boy in blue began racing towards the kitchen doors, with April still hot on his trail. “THERE IS NO ESCAPE!” Lou heard her yell, making him chuckle. He really did like that April girl...

“Hey, Pop? Does this look alright to you?” Slowly turning his head, he looked at his oldest boy sitting on the floor next to him, holding up his current knitting project. “I'm thinkin’ it's probably gonna be another blanket,” Raph explained, gently running his fingers over the red and yellow yarn, “but… Do you think I'm good enough to make it into a sweater or somethin’?”

“I think you could do it, Raphie!” Mikey answered from his father’s chair, perched slightly on Lou’s shoulders, “You're a great knitter!”

“I certainly agree with that,” Lou added, giving Raph an encouraging smile, “But do not be afraid to go back to the book of you need help or are stuck. Starting over is always a shameless option as well. Just keep trying, and I'm sure you will create a very nice sweater - or something - for yourself.”

Practically beaming with pride, Raph set his creation to the side and ran to his room to fetch his ‘Tips for Knitting Beginners!’ book. “Thanks guys!” He shouted over his shoulder.

“‘Welcome!” Mikey shouted back before focusing once again on his own project. He stuck his tongue out a bit as he twirled another strand of his father’s black and grey hair. As for Lou, he let himself relax once more as he directed his eyes back at a younger version of himself. Perhaps it was a bit narcissistic to watch your own movies whether or not the rest of your family liked them, but Lou didn't really care. He was just appreciating his hard work! Besides, he was only watching it until the gameshow network started their daily airing of imported shows anyway.

As the younger Lou screamed his catchphrase as a gang of assassin-musicians, the present Lou heard a knock at the door. “I wonder who that could be?” He asked out loud.

“I dunno,” Mikey shrugged. Adding one last finishing touch to his dad’s head, he quickly moved back, allowing Lou to stand up. “Hope it's not April’s dad to pick her up early…”

Lou knew that wasn't the case, not unless Mr. O’Neil had only had a half day at work. Curious, he opened the door-

“Hope I'm not interrupting anything,” Draxum smiled.

“Ben!” With a grin, Lou opened the door the rest of the way, leaning forward to pull him into a hug and give him a quick peck on the lips. (Though, even just a quick kiss from Lou seemed to be enough to make Draxum feel a bit warmer, no matter how frequent they were becoming.) “What are you doing here?” He asked as he let him go, “Not that I am complaining but I thought you were busy with that presentation thing?”

Despite becoming official nearly two weeks ago, the two hadn't seen much of each other since. The research lab Draxum worked at announced there would be a conference scheduled for all departments, where each head scientist would have to put together a presentation that both shared what they had accomplished in the past few months, as well pretty much convince the people (other than Big Mama) who paid for their lab and experiments that their department was worth keeping around. Needless to say, when combined with all of his other daily tasks, an added project didn't leave Draxum much free time, not even on the weekends. Even their usual phone calls and text conversations had slowed down some because of it.

Thankfully- “I managed to wake up early and put the finishing touches on it this morning,” Draxum replied, “and I figured coming here would be a decent enough way to celebrate.”

Lou grinned at him. “Works for me!”

As he was led inside, Draxum couldn't help but smirk. “Bold choice of hairstyle, by the way.”

“Oh, you like?” Lou asked, striking a bit of a pose.

Draxum snorted. “It's certainly ‘you’.” On one side of Lou’s head, his hair had been pulled into a couple messy pigtails, and on the other side there had been an attempt at making braids. There had also been various hair clips of different colors and sizes attached all around his head, no real rhyme or reason to where they were put.

“My ‘stylist’ could probably set you up for one too, if you'd like.” “Thanks, but I think I’ll pass.” Lou said nothing, seemingly accepting his boyfriend’s answer, but also knowing just how convincing his little artist could be when it came to asking people to be his models.

And speaking of his youngest- “DRAXUMMMM!” A tiny body suddenly wrapped around his legs like an octopus, hugging him tightly.

“Hello to you too, Michael,” Draxum nodded, completely used to this form of greeting by this point. It was almost strange, thinking of a time where it only would have aggravated him, having a child’s messy, grubby hands all over his clean clothes. And while he was sure his paints now had a couple of small stains - because Mikey always seemed to be at least a little covered with some sort of art supply - he couldn't really bring himself to care.

“I haven't seen you in foreeeever!” Mikey told him, grinning widely as he began pulling him towards the loveseat, “Come on, you gotta let me make your hair pretty like I made Pop’s hair pretty!”

“We’ll see,” Draxum told him, earning another small smile from his boyfriend. As Mikey let go of the doctor’s legs, Raph came back into the room with his book in his arms.

“Oh, hey Draxum!” The boy in red waved, “I'm making a sweater!” He held up the knitting book. “And it's gonna be great!”

Draxum nodded. “I'm sure it will be.” For how young they were, he sort of admired just how creative and constructive the boys were at times. He couldn't really remember what he was like as a five/six/seven year old, but he was pretty sure he wasn't much of a drawer or even a reader back then, and he certainly wasn't a knitter. “Did you suggest that hobby to him?” He asked as Raph picked his needles back up, Mikey looking over at him to watch for a bit.

“In a way,” Lou nodded, “Raphael was strong for his age, even as a toddler. Always accidentally breaking a toy…” Or hurting his brothers, which frustrated and upset Raph even more than the things he would break. Either way, it often led to his frustrations and heartache boiling over into a tantrum, which just made everything worse. “Learning something as delicate and controlled as knitting helped a lot when it came to that, gaining control as well as patience. If he had hated doing it though, I would have found him something else…” His smile warmed a bit. “But he was proud enough of his first knitting piece that he just kept going.”

By this point, Draxum was smiling as well, leaning up slightly against his boyfriend as they watched the oldest and youngest interact. “Sounds like you knew what you were doing, then.”

“Heh, yeah… By some sort of miracle, I suppose I did.” And he was forever grateful for that, just as he was for all the little things he managed to get right for the sake of his children.

Finally moving to go sit on the small couch, Draxum let himself relax as he fell into the usual lax feeling that seemed to fill the Jitsu household (a feat that was becoming easier with each of his visits). “So where are Donnie and Leo?”

“Well, Donnie decided to make today a study day, so he's in his room where he can concentrate better, and Leo-”

Just then, two more children raced into the room, nearly running right into Draxum just as he was sitting down. Out of habit, Draxum scowled and almost started scolding and yelling at the two of them, but held himself back and just managed to say, “Excuse me!”

The blue and yellow blurs screeched to a halt, turning around to see their mistake. It was at that point Draxum was able to see that the other child running around with Leo was a young girl. Her skin was about the same color as Leo’s with red-framed glasses surrounding her eyes instead of pale patches. Her curly hair was pulled into poofy pigtails and her outfit was a yellow jumper and dark green shirt with neon green tights.

“Whoops, sorry Draxum!” Leo said quickly, flashing an apologetic smile, “We just had to grab something for our game real quick!”

“Wait, Draxum?” The girl half-whispered, “The guy your dad is dating?” Leo nodded, and with a curious hum, the girl stared at Draxum as she leaned on her foam bat, looking him up and down. Draxum stared back at her, waiting for whatever comment she would make.

Thankfully, after only a couple moments of this, the pigtailed girl smiled and nodded in what Draxum could assume was approval. “Well, my name’s April! Nice to meet you, Dr. Draxum!”

Draxum smiled slightly, already sort of seeing why the boys would want her as a friend. “Nice to meet you as well, April.” With that, the two children raced off, their full attention back on their game (even if they did slow down a bit to avoid anymore near collisions). They could hear Lou begin to tell the story of how the five of them (or rather, four of them, since Mikey hadn't been in school yet). April herself could remember the story well...

They had all ended up in some after school activity club at the same time (and for the last time). Raph had noticed April first, alone by a wall and boredly playing with the News Reporter Barbie she had brought. With the twins by his side, the three brothers were able to get the semi-shy but still friendly girl interested in playing with them. Unfortunately, by the time April got around to suggesting they all play a round of basketball, all the good sports equipment was taken and the older kids refused to share.

A frustrating obstacle, yes, but it hadn't been an impossible one. April smiled to herself as she remembered the plan Leo had come up with, he and Donnie playing lookout and distraction while she and Raph broke into the gym equipment closet and took as many balls and sports toys as they could get their tiny hands on. The plan had been a total success, though they were soon caught and given their first detentions of the school year as well a month long banning from the activities club. But it didn't matter to April, it may have gotten her a detention and a scolding from her dad, but it also got her three - soon four - best friends for life.

And best friends always looked out for each other, and made sure the other was okay, just in case.

“So,” Leo heard April say as he searched for the toys they needed, “What do you think of Draxum?”

“I think he's nice,” Leo answered, barely even thinking it over, “I mean, he's nice to all of us, and Dad really likes him.” He paused, taking out a couple smaller toys and looking them over before putting them back. “Sometimes he can be a little grumpy though, and he gets embarrassed about stuff other times, but he's not a total jerk or anything so that's good.”

“Yeah, you and your brothers already told me about all that stuff, and I just saw it too,” she reminded him, crossing her arms, “I meant what do you think of Draxum bein’ your pop’s boyfriend?” After a moment, April added, “Would you be okay with him bein’ your stepdad someday?”

This time, Leo had to actually think about it, squeezing the alien plushie in his hands slightly. It was getting harder to remember what life was like before his family, but some of the memories were still there, as were the feelings. He remembered the empty and lonely feeling of missing people who he felt barely even had a chance to know, and the worry of being adopted by someone who wouldn't even like him, much less love him. The other kids were friendly enough, but part of him had still felt like an outsider - an observer looking for a place to belong.

...Then, on his fourth birthday, he learned of another boy in the orphanage - one who was hardly ever seen without a book in his hands and neverseen without his old purple backpack on his back - who shared the same birthday as him. But rather than be annoyed at sharing the attention on his special day, Leo had happily adopted the boy as his twin, no matter how much the other boy insisted that it was impossible for two people to be twins without being related.

Then they met a boy younger than them who didn't talk much at first but spoke instead with streaks of paint and crayon and his colorful pictures. Then the three of them met a boy who was older - a bit clumsy and too strong at times, and a bit grumpy too - but who always stood up for them whenever the oldest kids at the orphanage decide to have a bit of cruel fun. Between all the bonding and playtime together, they all just became brothers, insisting on it even when the workers at the orphanage tried to pull them apart. Not many potential parents wanted four kids at once, after all. But then…

Leo’s smile softened a bit. “It would maybe be a lil’ weird, yeah. Having a new dad and an extra person living here and all that,” he finally began to say, “But Draxum is a nice guy, an’ the last time I got a new dad worked out really great, so why wouldn't this time?”

April smiled back at him, her protectiveness fading a bit as she ruffled his hair. Leo laughed, feeling thankful that he had ended up finding a big sister too. Turning back to the toy box, he grabbed another lightsaber along with the alien plushie, and a jump rope. “This’ll make for a great grappling hook!” He explained, wrapping the jump rope around his arm.

“Awesome!” April grinned. With an excited cheer, they raced back outside to continued their action filled space adventure.

---------------

Draxum hadn't had a specific timeframe in mind when he came over to the Jitsu house that day for a visit, but he honestly wasn't surprised that he'd ended up spending the rest of the day there.

As Lou had predicted, Mikey had indeed ended up persuading Draxum into letting him ‘style’ his hair, though promised not to use as many clips and ribbons. As the boy brushed and braided, Draxum just sat back and listened. First to Lou about what he had missed the past few days, and then to Donnie when he finally came out of his room to update his family on his studying progress, and instead began excitedly info dumping to his now favorite doctor about robotics and simple tech.

(“Why didn't you guys tell me Dr. Draxum was here?” Donnie exclaimed, pouting a bit at the missed time that he could've spent with the scientist.

Lou patted his shoulder. “I'm sorry, Donnie, we thought you wanted to be left to your studying, otherwise we would have.”

“Yeah, last time we tried to get you to leave your room while you were studying, you just started throwing notebook paper balls at us,” Raph added, giving his brother a flat look. Donnie just stuck his tongue out at him.)

Soon enough, Leo and April came back inside, and once it was clear that all five - no, all SEVEN of them were now available to play, a game of tag was quickly initiated.

Naturally, Draxum felt a bit awkward and VERY self conscious about chasing after a bunch of kids, thankful that Lou’s yard at least had a high fence. He didn't even play tag much as a kid, and now he was supposed to play as an adult? It was ridiculous, and frankly foolish… Though it did make the boys happy, which outweighed the ridiculousness somewhat. The times when Lou took his hand, squeezing it slightly as they ran together and he led the way with that usual carefree smile of his also made the game a bit more enjoyable, admittedly.

But eventually, April’s father did arrive to pick his daughter up, putting an end to their little game. She gave each of the brothers a tight hug, high fived Lou and, last but not least, gave Draxum another nod of approval. She didn't think he was the kind of grown up who wouldn't mind playing with kids, but she was glad to see that she had been wrong. “See ya around, Dr. Drax,” she smiled.

Draxum nodded back at her. “Likewise, Ms. April.” April chuckled a bit at that, smiling as she led her dad lead her out the door and down the street to her own home. And, no sooner had the door closed, did the boys’ stomachs seem to realize just how late it was. Thankfully, with a cell phone already dialed in his hand, Lou was quickly taking care of that little problem.

So, here Draxum was. Sitting on his boyfriend’s loveseat, with four tuckered out kids crammed and snuggled in-between them, his stomach full and his core comfortably warm, empty pizza boxes laying out on the table in front of him and some children’s anime - something about capturing Yokai with a watch? How strange - playing softly on the tv.

“Hmph, if I didn't know any better,” Draxum began, prompting Lou to lazily look over at him, “I would think that you don't feed your sons with how quickly they devoured that pizza.”

Lou quietly laughed. “Funny thing about kids, they will literally eat anything that's not nailed down. ESPECIALLY if it is covered or filled with cheese. But, hey, I'm sure I was the same as a boy.” He grimaced suddenly, holding back a hiss of pain. “Okay, hold on-”

Slowly, as to not disturb his two oldest on his other side, Lou gently pushed Leo off him and onto Draxum’s free side. (Mikey was on Draxum’s other side, legs curled up on the armrest and using the doctor’s shoulder as a pillow during his pizza induced food coma.) Once Leo was off him, Lou adjusted himself, getting in a comfier position as he sunk deeper into the couch. “Alright, I’ll take him back,” he said, silently hoping his son in blue wouldn't keep jabbing his father’s arm or stomach with his elbow.

Draxum glanced down, and found that in the short time Lou had taken, Leo had already settled back into his slumber, letting out a small sigh and grabbing part of Draxum’s shirt. “I think he's fine where he is.”

“Bah, replaced by my own boyfriend and betrayed by my own son,” Lou huffed, feigning a scowl as he guided Donnie’s head towards his lap and took off the boy’s glasses, now that there was extra room. Draxum just chuckled, and gave him a quick kiss on his temple as an apology. Lou smiled back, leaning into the touch. “Well, jokes on you, I suppose. It'll be even harder for you to leave now.” Draxum rolled his eyes. As if he didn't already have that problem.

Letting a moment pass, he looked at his date once more. Perhaps it was a comfortable enough time to finally ask something that had been on his mind since the beginning. “...I didn't think it was appropriate to ask on our first date but, well… What made you to decide to adopt four kids?” While Lou’s content expression never faltered, his eyes once again took on a bit of fatigue, becoming slightly distant. Noticing this, Draxum added, “Oh, you- you don't have to tell me if-”

“Oh no, no, it's fine,” Lou said quickly, “The reason isn't that bad. Not bad at all, even. But everything else…” He didn't say anything for a bit, his gaze focused on the wall above the tv. On something his date couldn't see. “I assume you've got a pretty good relationship with your parents, right?”

Draxum nodded. He wasn't particularly close to either of them, but he didn't resent them either, far from it. He still spoke to his parents occasionally, usually around the holidays when it seemed like he was obligated to, and even if they didn't completely understand him, he knew he at least had their support. Still, he frowned to himself when he realized Lou didn't share this experience.

“I'm glad you had that. My mother passed away when I was young, and my father-” He gave a humorless laugh, though there was as much acceptance in it as there was bitterness. “He, ah, we never saw eye to eye, and when I turned eighteen I pretty much told him to go screw himself and then went with my best friend to Tokyo.”

Lou’s gaze shifted towards a specific photo on the wall - the one of him next to a Chinese woman. His smile became warmer, any traces of bitterness and regret soon rolling away like drops of water off his cheeks. “For the longest time, she was my only real family. We became stars together, and even if we weren't in too many movies together, we always had each other’s backs. She was a wingman I could always count on, a great actress, an even greater martial artist in her own right… And probably the best friend a guy like me could ever have.”

His boyfriend was staring at the picture now, as well. Another action film star, huh? Draxum still couldn't recognize her enough to put a name to the face, though now he could say that he wouldn't mind meeting her.

Feeling Raph starting to stir a bit on his other side, Lou rubbed his back until the boy in red settled back down. “A few years after we moved to LA, she decided to go back home to Hong Kong. Settle down some, take a break from the business and all that. By that point I was already somewhat throwing myself into the life of an action movie superstar, whether that was filming and training all day or partying all night. So when she left, I just doubled down.”

Draxum gave a small hum, letting Lou know he was still listening without giving a possibly unwanted opinion on the matter. He thought back several years ago, back during what had been considered the high point of Jitsu-Mania. Two to three movies a year, appearances at every award show whether or not he was nominated, not to mention all the talk shows and paparazzi articles. He couldn't quite recall though if there had been any real major event to slow the craze down. Much like it had been for the rest of the world, he could only remember that one day Lou Jitsu just… slipped out of the public eye, at least for a couple years. “So… What made you stop?”

Another humorless laugh, this one a bit lower and shorter. “According to the doctor my manager hired, depression,” Lou answered simply, ignoring the way his boyfriend’s eyes widened ever so slightly, “Well, that and not as many projects to keep me occupied. Studio wanted to focus on rising stars and my films weren't bringing in as much money. It happens. But without much to focus on, I either became reckless or I was barely making it out of bed, depending on the day.”

Part of him didn't want to remember, though another part didn't dare try to forget. His PR agents did a good job of covering most of it up from his fans and would-be critics, but he couldn't hide from himself. Couldn't hide from the barely legal parties and extravagantly empty shopping sprees and pointless fist fights with other celebrities. Couldn't hide from the seemingly endless days and nights in his bed or on some couch, binging on cake and sake as he ignored every phone call he got.

“Do not get me wrong, being a star was fun. Really, really fun… But everything has to end eventually it seems. I think Shen could tell things were running down for me too, because one day, I got a ticket to Hong Kong in the mail along with a letter saying that if I didn't come, she was gonna send someone and have me dragged to her home.”

Draxum’s lips twitched into a smirk. “Do you think she actually would?”

Lou looked Draxum straight in the eyes. “Tang Shen never bluffs,” he stated. Yes, Draxum would definitely have to look her up later. “And I knew that even back then. So, I hopped onto the plane, drove to her place, and we had a long talk.” And a long cry with lots of hugging and perhaps a glass of wine or two more than necessary, but nonetheless. “She wasn't expecting me to move there, and as much as I missed her, I didn't want to either. I did not regret my choices or my life, but I also did not know how to move forward and find something more. So, she suggested that I find something - anything - that could give me a reason to wake up in the morning even on my worst days, as well as something that wasn't directly related to a camera crew or my checking account.”

He paused, looking particularly thoughtful. “...I actually thought about just getting a pet. A rat, or maybe a couple turtles.”

“...And that train of thought somehow led to children?” Draxum asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Heh, not exactly,” Lou chuckled, “Just because my reputation had not been totally tarnished did not mean that it couldn't still use some work or a boost. As soon as my returning flight landed, my manager called and said he had found me a good PR opportunity. ‘Something with lots of cute kids and something that the press will just eat up!’ he had said. So, a few days later, I went to an orphanage over in Queens with some half-written speech about ‘following your movie star dreams’ or, or something like that and, well…”

He sighed once more, glancing down at his sleeping boys. First at the two on him, then the two over by Draxum. ...God, had it only been two, almost three years since that day? It was both forever ago and just the other day, and they were already growing up before his eyes, slowly but surely. Another part of parenthood, he supposed, one that not even the great Lou Jitsu could stop.

“That was where I first met my sons… And I haven't let them go since. I saw myself in them, saw what I could give them… Heh, my manager and Shen both said I was crazy. I thought I was crazy, and I prayed to whoever and whatever could hear me to not let me screw them up, because whether or not it was crazy, I knew I still had to adopt them. I couldn't not adopt them, and while the first couple months were a bit of an, ah… Adjustment period, I have never once wondered whether or not I had made the right choice.”

As he watched Lou closed his eyes and smiled to himself, Draxum also had no doubt in his mind that his date had made the choice or that he was anything but genuine with his words. It was almost too much, hearing him be so open and honest, trusting Draxum that much without knowing for sure if he would judge. Draxum didn't quite know what to do with that much trust, so he simply vowed to himself not to break it.

“So, yeah, long story short,” Lou finished, opening his eyes now, “There was nothing that really caused me to adopt four kids, I didn't exactly plan on it or was ‘inspired’ or anything. Things just worked out that way. I found them, and they found me. ...A bit cliche, I know, but-”

“I think it's beautiful.”

Lou blinked, turning to look at his now slightly-blushing boyfriend. “I- ...I think it's wonderful that you all found each other,” Draxum continued, hoping to sound just as genuine even as he corrected himself, “It's quite admirable, how much work and heart you put into your family. Very admirable… And for what it's worth, I think you're doing a great job being a father. Certainly better than most celebrities, I'm sure.”

Lou smiled, chuckling slightly as he leaned in. “Thanks Ben… That really does mean a lot.” Draxum barely gave himself time to nod before meeting Lou’s lips, their eyes closing as they kissed. Giving another hum as another sort of familiar and comfortable warmth washed over his body, he moved just a bit closer, hoping to deepen the kiss. Before he could, however, he felt a hand push against his chest. Thinking it was Lou, Draxum immediately broke the kiss and retreated before realizing that his boyfriend’s hands weren't that small.

“I thought you guys said you weren't gonna make out in front of us,” Leo groaned.

“We- Ugh, we were not making out!” Draxum argued.

“And besides, little one,” Lou added, snickering a bit, “You're asleep, so how could you even tell?”

“‘M not asleep,” Leo mumbled, even as he snuggled deeper into Draxum’s side, his eyes remaining shut.

“Fine, fine, whatever you say, Leonardo.” Still, Lou remained close to his date, his own hand finding Draxum’s. While still slightly annoyed, Draxum managed a smile at that, bringing their now intertwined hands up to his face and kissing the back of Lou’s.

Even if that was all they could do for now, Draxum didn't mind too much. He knew he wouldn't be able to stay much longer, no matter how many kids were piled on top of him, so he was just going to enjoy the moment and hold onto it for as long as he could.

((So yeah, lots of sorta exposition in this chapter, but I hope it wasn't too heavy handed. See you all next time! I've got a couple ideas coming up that should be a ton of fun to write, so here's hoping I can get them out fast!))

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #baron jitsu #baron draxum #lou jitsu #human au #fanfiction #my writing

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meltypes-blog · 5 years

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peadpod mchanzo week day 3

[mr. krabs voice] day 3, give it up for day 3! Also, this is a college au because I’m weak for those and young mchanzo is cute

3. Secret Admirer | ao3 link |

Jesse normally wasn’t the type to get flustered. His mama had told him that since he was 4, his three defining characteristics were cute, charming, and shameless. Growing up in a loving and accepting family had given him the right ingredients to bake into that particular mix, but when his mama passed ten years after, and the collectors came after his Pa’s farm, those particular traits rotted and left a bad taste in his mouth. Cute and charming didn’t get him out of the orphanages quick enough, so he ran. At 17, before his new dads swooped in and grabbed his ass out of the fire, his gang buddies described him as quick, deadly, and reckless. It showed in his steady trigger finger, the unnerving accuracy of his aim, the lopsided smiles and toothy smirks. But all the swagger and confidence from his misguided teenage years were particularly missing from his mug shots; a single heist inevitably gone wrong, most of his ‘family’ dead yet again, and half a missing arm later were enough to sober him entirely.

His new dads….they tried not to define him. When they got to him, he was hollow. Quiet. Sad. As hardened war vets, they’d seen some shit, so they knew a little bit in dealing with what Jesse had gone through. They brought Jesse home with them after a grueling two years in court, though Jesse never did get a clear reason why. Gabe told him that he’d seen something in Jesse. Jack joked that he was blind, so he just went along with whatever Gabe saw. They helped heal him by letting him be, doing the opposite when his mistakes hit him hard and left him gasping at night, and encouraging him to believe in himself just as fervently as they did.

Now, at 24, GED under his belt and close to graduating with a bachelors in investigative journalism, Jesse had proudly improved upon his mama’s words. Cute turned into roguishly handsome, his shamelessness transformed into easy-going confidence, and his charming demeanor- well, that was a welcome fixed trait. But despite the fact that no one had ever called Jesse smart aloud, he wasn’t dumb. Any smart person could see that there was more to the man than a cowboy hat and smiles, and that you didn’t get a prosthetic arm and criminal record by riding a horse (unless, of course, you were a bandit from the 18th century). Even dumber people didn’t know what to make of Jesse, most of the time caught off guard when it turned out he wasn’t a complete idiot. In conclusion, no, Jesse didn’t think he was desirable in the long-term, romantic sense of things, despite his many trysts and conquests, so he put it out of his mind.

At least, that was the case, until the fourth flower delivery.

“Again, Reeha?” Jesse asked, face hot as she dropped a sunflower in his hands. “You’re not doing this as a joke right?”

His RA leant against the open doorway of his dorm with crossed arms and snorted. “I’m a college student, Jes. Flowers are expensive. If I wanted to prank you, I could just put a bucket on your door.”

“Zero points for creativity.” He responded, thumbing the back of the card attached to it. He flipped it over, getting significantly redder at the note.

Fareeha snickered. “What’s it say, loverboy?”

Jesse knew she wasn’t going to leave until he told her (she hadn’t for the last two deliveries) so he cleared his throat and read. “‘You are as brilliant as when the sun rises, you bring me warmth as its beams do. Your smile is just as bright. Thank you for existing.’”

“Aw, Jesse.” Fareeha gave him a genuine, wide smile. “Whoever that is has really lost it over you.”

His chest fluttered. “Nah, this is- it’s a joke. Someone here has just got a sick sense of humor.” He looked back to her. “Do you have any idea who it might be?”

“Jes, half the people on this floor are pretty much into you,” she responded, rolling her eyes. “It’s the cowboy hat, probably.”

Jesse chuckled. “Yeah, sure. Wait ‘til I bust out the chaps, that’ll get everyone hot and bothered.”

“It sounds genuine, though,” she said, frowning at his tone. “You’ve just gotta put your degree to use. Do some investigating.” She clapped his shoulder and stood up. “You’re good at that.”

The wheels in Jesse’s head started turning. “Do you know who puts ‘em on your desk?”

Fareeha shrugged. “Satya brings them in from the mailroom, and I’ve asked her who delivers them there, but she says she doesn’t know. Just that there’s a sticky note to have them brought to you.”

“Huh.”

After a bit more brainstorming, Fareeha waved her goodbye and left Jesse in his door, flower clutched in his good hand. He went inside, thumbing the soft petals gently, a plan developing in his head.

He was going to find whoever this was.

“Maybe they do not want to be found.”

Jesse snorted into his coffee. He and Hanzo were seated in the campus coffee shop, taking a break from an especially grueling math homework session. Jesse had first met him in his second semester Research Writing class, which, much to Jesse’s surprise and Hanzo’s embarrassment, the other man was failing. Their professor had insisted Hanzo visit Jesse for tutoring (which, up until his junior year, he did as a work-study student), and the two hit it off. The pair (sometimes with the addition of Hanzo’s younger brother) met up regularly for study sessions, finding that they worked well together despite their differing majors.

Jesse raised his brows. “Then why do they send them in the first place?”

“Perhaps they get off on buying flowers for cowboys,” Hanzo smirked.

“Gross Han,” Jesse laughed, wrinkling his nose. Hanzo smiled and Jesse felt his insides warm, a pleasant syrupy feeling in his gut.

This….thing he started feeling for Hanzo wasn’t a new development. He only needed to spend four months in Hanzo’s presence to become infatuated, though he ignored it for the most part, reasoning that shallow appreciation for an attractive man was nothing worth exploring. Then the man got a haircut, pierced himself up, changed his major to what he was actually passionate about, and Jesse’s heart was a goner. What he felt was honestly too childish to be called a crush and the other option scared the hell out of him, because even after knowing Hanzo for 2 years, he still had trouble figuring out if the man was seriously flirting or not.

“But really,” Jesse continued, “it seems a bit….I don’t know. Weird.”

Hanzo raised a brow. “You do not enjoy the attention?”

Maybe if it was from you, Jesse thought unhelpfully. “‘S not that, it’s just….I never thought I’d get romanced like this. Flowers.” He chuckled. “What’s next, chocolates? A full bouquet?”

Hanzo’s eyes got that strange glint in them Jesse had been noticing lately. “Is that something you would like?”

“Oh, hell no, that’s a bit much to be coming from a stranger,” Jesse said. He leant forward. “You got any idea who it could be?”

Hanzo’s face fell flat. “You have many admirers, Jesse. Many find you attractive, you know this.”

“You sayin’ I’m good looking?” He teased, smiling at Hanzo’s eye roll.

“I am saying,” Hanzo smirked, “Many people lack taste.”

Jesse barked a laugh. “Right where it hurts, Han. Your aim is unerring.”

“You just make it too easy,” he replied. “Speaking of,” he tapped his notebook, “we should finish these equations.”

Jesse groaned. “Easy for you, Mr. Math Major. Some of us are better with words than numbers.”

“Oh, I am well aware of that,” he chuckled. “But why you would choose a math course for your last elective if you hate it so much is beyond me.”

Jesse just smiled. “I like a challenge.”

The fifth flower arrived during Jesse’s investigation. He made his way down to the dorm mailroom, deciding to ask Satya herself if she knew anything essential.

She scoffed at Jesse’s question, putting her cell phone down. “Why would I keep the sticky notes? They are trash once their duty is fulfilled.”

Jesse sighed. There went his first lead.

“Okay,” he said. “But did you get a look at the handwriting? Was it neat? Messy?”

Satya considered the question. “Well….all of them were written in capital letters.”

“Hm.” Jessed hummed. “And….no one else gets flower deliveries?”

“Not that I have seen, no.” She smirked slightly, picking her phone back up. “It seems you have a secret admirer, McCree.”

He sighed again, pink in the face. “Seems that way.”

It didn’t help much, but he thanked her anyways, heading out into the hall. He closed the mailroom door behind him and exhaled, exasperated. He didn’t really think that asking about the sticky notes would help, but it was the first thing that came to his mind to check. He stepped forward- and almost tripped when he realized there was something on the ground in front of him. His heart pounded when he bent down to look closer.

“No way,” he breathed, picking up the single pink rose. He straightened quickly, looking to his left and right, trying to catch a glimpse of someone, anything, but the hall was empty save for himself and the dorm event bulletin board. He looked to the card and laughed softly.

“They did not have red ones, so I hope you are fine with pink. It reminds me of the times you are silly, blushing and happy. I wish you many more moments like that.”

Jesse would’ve written the secret gifts off as insincere if they’d called him sexy or complimented his ass, but the notes were always heartfelt and profound. The first, paired with a camellia, had regaled his beauty, declaring that “the depths of which are rivaled only by that of the oceans.” The second, attached to a sweet smelling gardenia, paid homage to his intelligence; “an incomparable mind” and “a smart mouth to match a smart man.” The third came with a red carnation, calling him kind-hearted and wonderful; “you inspire me to be my best.” The strangest part was that each delivery had happened in the span of a single month, each floral arrival erratic and unpredictable. The timing made little sense too: February was three months ago, and his birthday was in December. Jesse brainstormed the motivations himself but decided that they were 100% genuine, the other option being that it was an elaborate prank before grad. Most of his friends were too busy with finals or too short on cash. Jesse trudged back to his room, placing the flower in the same vase near the window as the previous ones and the note in the small ornate box on his desk that held the others, deciding to enact the next part of his investigation the following weekend.

Now, Jesse usually liked Genji, considered him a brother even- but right now, he felt like throwing him to the wolves. The green-haired bastard was cackling loud enough to draw the attention of almost everyone in the coffee shop to their small corner; he found Jesse’s floral predicament particularly funny. Jesse looked to Hanzo for help, but the man just gave him a toothy smile and shrugged.

“So, you have no idea who it could be?” Genji asked, after having calmed. “Not a single inkling?”

Jesse’s eyes flitted briefly to Hanzo (he immediately squashed that hope down, Hanzo didn’t seem like the flower giving type) before he turned to Genji. “I wouldn’t be askin’ for your help if I did, ninja.”

“Some investigator you are,” Genji snorted.

He pointed to him. “Hey now, I just haven’t finished looking around yet. I’ve got a plan.”

“Oh? Do tell.” Hanzo spoke, sounding amused.

“Well,” Jesse started confidently, settling back into his seat,” it’s gotta be someone on campus right? And the flowers gotta come from somewhere. So I sussed out the location of every flower shop in the area- which there are three of, by the way- and I plan on bringing the notes and asking around. They’re bound to know something.”

Genji hummed appreciatively and Hanzo balked.

“How do you know they didn’t order them in advance? Or that they would remember their patrons?” Genji gave his brother a weird look at the question while Jesse chuckled.

“No one has the time for advanced orders during finals. Plus, it seems like these gifts were a last minute kinda thing, because there’s no pattern to the delivery times. And if my hunch is right,” Jesse leaned forward conspiratorially,” it’s probably someone I know.”

Hanzo’s face seemed to go through a myriad of emotions before smoothing over into a blank expression. “You truly are intelligent, then.”

“I know,” Jesse grinned cheekily, feeling proud.

Genji let out a choked noise at something and stared incredulously at Hanzo. Then at Jesse. Then back to Hanzo.

“Jesse. You really can’t guess? Really?” Genji’s eyes were pleading.

Jesse furrowed his brow. “If you know something I don’t, the help is appreciated.”

Genji muttered something in Japanese and stood up suddenly, grabbing his bag. “No. I don’t know anything, apparently. If you will excuse me, I’m going to go somewhere else before I throw up.” He turned a devious smile to Hanzo, who sat uncharacteristically frozen. “I will talk to you later, brother.” Then he was gone.

“Well, that sounded foreboding,” Jesse commented to a strangely flushing Hanzo. “Did you catch what he said under his breath?”

“No,” Hanzo answered quickly. He stood up too. “I- I have to go. Satya needs my help with a project.”

“Oh.” Jesse sat back disappointed. “Okay. See ya later, then.”

Hanzo gave him a tense smile before he hurriedly departed. Finals week, Jesse decided, was a bitch.

The sixth flower was thankfully delivered in person.

He woke up that morning feeling motivated, ready to find the mystery person behind the roses. His trip to the first floral shop wasn’t what he expected, considering it closed down 5 years ago and sat on the side of the road as a sad, dilapidated building (thanks, Google)- but he wasn’t deterred. The second shop, however, didn’t yield satisfactory results either. He showed the owner the notes, and much to his embarrassment, she said that they didn’t even use the same cards or ribbon as the ones the stranger gave him.

“Whoever it was probably made them themselves,” she said, eyes twinkling. “That’s so sweet!” Jesse mechanically nodded his agreement, said his thanks, and left feeling flustered at the situation all over again. Handmade note cards. Maybe they really didn’t want to be known.

So found Jesse on his way to the last floral shop- Bastion’s Bouquets- and losing all semblance of hope. He pushed the door open, bell ringing overhead, and was instantly assaulted by the sweet aroma of flora.

Flowers ranging from roses to calla lilies to desert flowers crowded on shelves that stretched to the ceiling. Long vines and leaves from medium sized palms and ferns leaned over Jesse’s head as he traversed deeper into the store, reaching the counter. It was colorful, and wonderful, and Jesse began to wonder if he was in the wrong line of work at the sight of a bright pink bougainvillea trailing along the wall behind the cashier’s desk.

“Howdy,” he called to the empty space in front of him, resting his hands on the wood. “Anybody in?”

A clatter of noise and a curse responded. Then, in a strange accent:

“Be right out!”

Jesse took to looking around as he waited, exclaiming in pleased surprise as he found a small bird hiding among a gorgeous display of hyacinths. It chirped quietly as it settled in Jesse’s outreached hand and fluffed its wings. Jesse cooed and it tilted its head, chirping louder as he rubbed a finger down its back.

“Ganymede, stop begging for attention. The name is Torb, what can I do for you, son?”

Jesse turned to find a short- very, very short- man behind him. He had a mechanical arm, a fake eye, and was wearing a pink apron with the store name and a cartoon robot on the front. Jesse immediately liked him.

“Ah, well, ya see,” he muttered, struggling to get the notecards out of his back pocket with his prosthetic, not wanting to jostle the bird. “I got- aha! I got these cards along with a bunch of different flowers over the past month and was wondering if they were ordered from you, or if you remembered who ordered them.”

Torb took the cards from Jesse’s hand, sifting through them. His ears grew hot as the short man chuckled and raised a brow at him.

“Sounds like someone really likes you, eh?”

Jesse cleared his throat, cheeks flaming. “I mean, it could be a prank. Haven’t gotten rid of that possibility.”

Torb laughed harder and handed the cards back to Jesse. “I, for one, think you should throw that thought out the window. What were the flowers?”

Jesse told him and Torb rubbed his chin.

“Well,” he started. “We do carry all of those.”

Jesse felt a surge of hope.

“But carnations, camellias and roses are popular ones, and we haven't sold any sunflowers recently. I would remember that.” He gave Jesse a sympathetic look. “‘M sorry lass, I can’t help you there.”

Jesse’s stomach plummeted and he sighed. Ganymede chirped softly and flew away to the back room, probably to eat or sleep. He looked at Torb imploringly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Are there any other flower shops around here that have the same selection you do?”

Torb shook his head. “Afraid not. Otherwise, we would be out of business.”

Jesse nodded and said his thanks, ready to give up when Ganymede came flying back out, a small slip in her talons. She landed on Torb’s shoulder and dropped the paper into his open hand.

“Ah! That’s right, it almost slipped my mind!” He said, reading through it. He looked back up to Jesse with a toothy grin, waving around what looked like a receipt. “Seems I was wrong. There is one other place that carries the same selection we do, though it only orders a small amount from our stock.”

The supermarket. Why hadn’t he thought of that?

Jesse had walked by the flower freezer in there every time he shopped, but he never paid it enough attention for its presence to register in his head. He ran hurriedly from Torb’s shop to the market a few blocks over, hope swelling. It was getting late, the sun almost finished setting, and he knew the store was going to be closed in a couple of hours. He would get in there, and he would- well, he would look and- huh.

Jesse slowed to a jog, coming to a stop in front of the store. He frowned, realizing he had no plan. What would he do? Rather, what could he do? Too many people went in and out, and it’s not like a chain market would take note of each customer that bought sunflowers. He swallowed, feeling his hope shatter yet again.

He could….stake the place, he guessed. But his admirer obviously knew what he looked like, and loitering was still considered a crime. He was about to walk inside, maybe buy some booze and drown in it, when a voice ripped him from his thoughts.

“Jesse?”

He turned to his right to find Hanzo, looking as attractive as ever in his dark jacket and jeans, with a comically stricken expression on his face.

Jesse wondered what was wrong, until his eyes zeroed in on the package in his hands, and he sucked in a breath.

A bouquet of roses.

Hanzo held the flowers in a tight grip, an entire bouquet of expensive red roses, and Jesse, tired and emotionally charged at the sight, blurted the first thing that came to mind.

“You get off on buying flowers for cowboys?”

Hanzo turned red and made an audible noise in the back of his throat, taking a step backward, away from him.

He’s gonna run, Jesse suddenly realized, and he raised his hands in apology, a hysterical laugh bubbling in his throat at the relief he felt that it was him, at what this situation had come to.

“Hanzo,” he laughed, slightly breathless, and the man took another step backward. Jesse took a large step towards him and fought down another laugh. “Hanzo, wait.”

“I did not think you would find my affections funny,” he said, looking and sounding hurt.

Jesse sobered instantly, realizing what was at stake, and took those last few steps to reach him. “Hanzo, wait no, I’m not laughing at you. It’s just- this whole time?” He reached for Hanzo’s free hand. “You could’ve just talked to me, hon.”

“I am not good with words,” he responded, looking anywhere but at Jesse. “I know it is childish, but Genji told me that you had never had a serious relationship before, and with you leaving in two months for that job in Gibraltar, I just….”

He sighed, searching Jesse’s eyes. “I wanted to make sure you at least knew that someone cared for you, in that way….still cares.”

Jesse’s heart pounded and he gripped Hanzo’s hand tighter, not knowing what to say. He had Hanzo right where he had wanted him since he first saw him, and he was speechless.

“Okay, here’s the thing.” Jesse decided to lay it all out. “I’ve been in love with you for almost a year now, and if you’re willing, I’d like to try. Gibraltar or not, I’ve been absolutely hopeless for you. If you’ll have me.”

Hanzo lowered his burning face and heaved a deep, shaky breath. Then, he looked up and pressed the bouquet to Jesse’s chest, a small smile making its way onto his face. Jesse held the flowers there with his prosthetic, face burning.

“You said that you wouldn’t take a bouquet from a stranger and I was actually going to give these to you in person, when I found the right thing to say.” He pressed himself closer to Jesse. “I do not have a card this time, so I apologize.”

“Oh, that’s okay,” Jesse breathed, moving his hand to the small of Hanzo’s back, the roses crinkling between them. “What were you going to say?”

“I love you, too.” Hanzo leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to Jesse’s lips, and Jesse brought him even closer, closing his eyes, Hanzo and the scent of roses overtaking him.

After he and Hanzo made their way back to the dorms, the roses (a bit crumpled, but still whole) found their way into the vase near the window, the other flowers pressed safely into a textbook. And when Jesse finally left to Gibraltar, Hanzo sent him off with his seventh- a snapdragon that Jesse snuck in his carry-on. The message on the notecard was pretty much the same as the last one, but it didn’t make him feel any less flustered and happy.

I love you. Come back soon.

#mchanzo #peapodmchanzoweek #jesse mccree #hanzo shimada #fluff #writes #this is LATE but i was so tired and couldn't write i am sorrryyr

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originaljediinjeans · 5 years

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MCU Rewatch: “Black Panther” (2018)

Summary: *Deep thematic discussion,* “lol that thing is cute,” “I love Shuri”, “wait a minute, I’m white, am I the bad guy?” *Shameless Killmonger shaming* *Bucky angst* “Seriously what is up in Wakanda?” *more deep thematic discussion* “look at this and this random cute stuff” *more Bucky angst* “White Gary Stu is an important character, in this essay I will--” *tries not to get into discussing racial issues that I know nothing about* *fails*

Actually, Okoye and W’kabi already DO have a kid: it’s the rhino!!!!! XD

Young T’challa in the prologue asking his father about the story of how Wakanda came to be and why they hide from the outside world--that is a kid trying to understand why the world is the way it is. And that is something that T’challa is still trying to grasp when we fast forward to present day. Even then, T’challa’s experiences in Civil War have already opened his eyes to the struggles in the outside world and the suffering of innocent people.

King T’chaka is VERY imposing in that flashback scene

The issue of Bucky Barnes is palpable in the subtext of the conversation between Nakia, Okoye, and T’challa when they bring Everett back with them from Korea, if nowhere else in the film. Anyone seeing BP for the first time after CACW would be aware of the context. Obviously Barnes is not a concern to them at the moment because he is on cryo and has one arm. Okoye probably had an easier time swallowing T’challa wanting to help Bucky because he was a fugitive who would not be safer anywhere else and he was framed for a crime he did not commit, aka killing the previous king. She might have thought it was fair, in fact, for T’challa to make reprimands for attempting to murder the poor thing. Everett Ross is a white man also but in completely different circumstances that Okoye very pointedly outlines: he is a foreign intel operative, and if they let him live and leave Wakanda then he will tell the rest of the world what they saw there (unless the Wakandans have some kind of brainwashing tech of their own--maybe they’re too humane for that but why wouldn’t they? Or just leave Everett unconscious in Shuri’s lab until he recovers and then when he’s ready take him outside the border and leave him there to wake up). Okoye is basically saying, “Look, T’challa, Barnes was one thing, helping this guy is a terrible idea because he is more likely to betray us if we let him live.” But to Nakia and T’challa it makes no difference: Everett is a human being, if they have the means and resources to help Everett recover then they should help. Is a person’s life really worth less than an entire country’s safety? Shuri’s jibe “another broken white boy” serves to burst the bubble of that tension.

No, seriously, T’challa put the kimoyo bead into Everett’s wound and offered to take him to Wakanda and Okoye’s face was like WHAT

I’m just gonna call him Everett to differentiate him from Thunderbolt Ross. Maybe Everett the Leveret.

Okoye doesn’t care who she kills. She serves her country and whoever in her mind is legally the king. Anyone who is a threat to the throne that she is sworn to protect she will kill--”Without question.” It’s not that she doesn’t value life, but she values her oath as a member of the Dora Millaje. Her country, her people, her monarch: those are her priorities.

But would she have been happy afterward about if if she had been forced to kill her own husband? Clearly she was conflicted about working for Killmonger, and as soon as she found a loophole she broke ranks and took all the Dora Millaje with her. She does not want to support a monarch who will cause Wakanda to commit needless bloodshed in the rest of the world. The other Dora Millaje saw how ruthlessly Killmonger murdered Zuri and then threw T’challa off the waterfall: they are not here for it.

If the new king of Wakanda wants to get into international relief, then Okoye will stand by her king.

*smh* T’challa and Nakia flirting on the job. I’m not saying they shouldn’t do it. By all means, continue.

Just putting this out there: a film or mini-series about Nakia or Wakanda’s foreign operatives would be pretty sweet

Also, it’s nice to see Lupita N’yongo and Andy Serkis in roles that aren’t motion-captured. They are both incredible actors and having them did so much for this film.

The assault and robbery at the museum in London must have taken at least weeks of planning.

I like how Queen Ramona wears a full-length gown with a fuller skirt to T’challa’s coronation. It’s still African in decoration but it’s a little more “European” than what everyone else is wearing. I guess in Wakanda the queen has the luxury of wearing a dress with that kind of skirt.

Dealing with the loss of close family members is a theme throughout the film. The main Wakandan characters put aside their grief for King T’chaka for T’challa’s coronation, and I assume it was healing for T’challa to see his father again on the ancestral plain. But learning about his father’s covered mistakes shakes his perception of what his father was and how he ruled--how all the kings and queens before him ruled. And he has to address his grief again. T’challa decides that the best way forward for himself and his county is to change how Wakanda does things with the outside world.

I don’t really like Shuri’s upgraded suit for T’challa. The purple nano-energy is kind of unsettling, or maybe I just don’t like how it looks against the black. I also don’t like how it tears up whatever clothes T’challa is wearing. But I understand why she did it.

On that note, Shuri is a princess, and that is WHY she has the time to do whatever she wants, and I just think it’s fun that she used her time to further her education during her teen years and go into technology research. It’s kind of like how modern royalty are advocates for the arts and certain pasttimes, but on the next level.

Apparently, some of Shuri’s technological advances (esp. the trains in the vibranium mine) have been pretty recent.

Also, Shuri is a multi-tasker, and she’s probably always working on six or seven projects at a time. And she’s not afraid to do more. She starts on one, puts it aside to work on another, and while she switches between tasks she thinks about how to do the others. This girl is...way ahead of everyone. Especially me. But I’d love to be friends with her. IDK how to make her not see that I’m just another “colonizer” but I’ll figure it out.

“Shuri calling people “GENIUS!” when they get on her nerves.

She’s territorial about her lab.

Another point about Shuri: other Wakandans’ kimoyo beads might have a certain set of functions, but Shuri probably programmed hers to sync to everything she touches

My dad commented while watching that the potion that strips away the power of the heart-shaped herb is “nasty stuff.” No shucks, Sherlock.

Gosh, I hate Killmonger. He is so smug, he is so condescending to everyone he meets. He is so convinced that he’s right that when he first enters the throne room he acts like he’s already won the challenge and become the king. He only wants to build a “Wakandan Empire” to satisfy his own angst--how much does he even care about his “brothers and sisters”? He is convinced that every person in the world is his enemy. EVERY. PERSON. Including me. Including T’challa. Including the aunt and cousin he’s never met. Including the white guy in the fridge he doesn’t know about. Erik is next-level messed up. He’s just the worst.

(I’m white--am I supposed to take the discourse that “white people are evil” personally?)

“Hey Auntie.” Every time I hear that line I want to break through the fourth wall and slap him.

I mean, only a really heartless person would not feel sorry for the trauma that Erik went through when he lost his dad. And deep down, I sympathize with Killmonger’s anger, and I have such a rigid way of thinking that I admit that I am tempted to wonder about righting the world’s wrongs with violent means. Is he right that white colonizers ruined the world for Africans? Yes. But no, “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth leaves the whole world blind and toothless.” Punishing the “class” of people who have “wronged” the “oppressed” only furthers the cycle of pain and suffering. And pain and suffering are not limited by wealth and status and nationality. Solving the world’s problems isn’t about putting others down, it is about pulling people up and letting them heal. That is why T’challa’s strategy of international outreach is the right one.

Which is why the post-credit scene with Bucky is actually relevant to the film as a whole: he was the first person in need that T’challa and Shuri were able to give to. T’challa choosing to help Bucky paved the way for deciding to share Wakanda’s resources with the less fortunate in the world.

(I’m saying that to myself like I’m angry that Bucky is there at all. It’s called having a mental illness that wants to destroy the things I care about the most. Like there’s this demon in my brain that wants to agree with the extremists who think that Bucky and Everett were “valued” more than Killmonger. Killmonger let himself die because he had the same outlook that all white people are scum and refused to open himself to the possibility that he was wrong--unlike T’challa.)

“This movie vilifies African-Americans and puts native Africans on a pedestal.” SCREW THAT CRAP. Killmonger was as much a victim as he was a villain. And T’challa and his entire country got called out for not helping other people of African descent across the world. Gosh *rrrgh*

Having the heir to the throne available to be challenged by the heirs of the other tribal leaders was part of the inter-tribal agreement of how to govern Wakanda. It’s supposed to make it “fair” to the different groups, including the Jabari. That probably implies that the tribal council members are interrelated to each other and the royal family since the monarch has been chosen from different ruling families and they would have intermarried to keep their status--the fact that T’challa has an on and off relationship with the daughter of the River Tribe chief kind of validates that theory. Which tribes were Ramona and T’chaka part of? I’m curious.

I’m not sure how much contact the Jabari have with the rest of Wakanda but I’ll bet M’baku enjoys sending the reigning monarch passive-aggressive letters or something like that.

I am a huge fan of T’challa’s black robe that he wears on his first day as king.

I really hope the heart-shaped herb grows in the wild

(I wonder if average Wakandans have access to the heart-shaped herb, maybe for medicinal uses)

It is interesting how falling asleep into the trance from the heart-shaped herb is depicted as having flashbacks to the death of the new king’s predecessor/father. It’s kind of like falling asleep IRL and your subconscious slowly takes over.

T’challa dragging M’baku to the edge of the waterfall during their fight was a gutsy move. But I still think T’challa is a Hufflepuff.

T’challa does not like to compromise. It’s kind of unsettling to watch him talking to Everett in their first two scenes: it’s like T’challa thinks he is dictating actual reality while Everett still insists on what is real.

Yeah, Everett, I hate 80s music too. Klaue probably listens to some real garbage.

I hate that they had to kill off such a great villain and he was being so villainous, but I think the screenwriters felt like that was the only way the Wakandans would let Killmonger into their country, War Dog tattoo or not.

I am just...really soft for the border tribe rhinos, okay?

I’m not sure how much Ulysses Klaue is pretending to be crazy and how much he’s been actually off his rocker since Ultron tore off his arm but after this viewing I’m pretty sure it’s mostly pretending. It is convincing, though.

Did W’kabi ever get counseling after his parents’ deaths?

...actually, does Wakanda even HAVE psychotherapy/counseling like the rest of the world does? Or do they count on technology and medicines to fix all our mental health and emotional problems? You’d think they would have counseling. You’d think they have everything we have except better, but what if they don’t? You’d think that could have been an option for Bucky, except he was so afraid of being triggered by his own shadow.

I have, like, a lot of questions just about how things are done in Wakanda in general

Like they have access to foreign films and the rest of the world’s internet. The world just can’t tap into them. They see us but we can’t see them. Wakandans know what the outside world is like but they don’t bother about getting on the same page.

T’challa and Shuri are a great team, I want to see them in action together more in the future

I like the jacket that Okoye wears in Korea

In all fairness, Everett Ross is used to being the man in charge, and T’challa is a challenge to his authority. From T’challa’s perspective, he is rude and abrasive, but that’s why he does what he does. Even though T’challa is the king of another country, that doesn’t change anything in Everett’s playbook. Everett acts the way he was trained: he tries to speak up because it’s his job to inform people about his interpretation of the situation, he helps out Okoye and Nakia during the car chase but that’s because he’s after Klaue too so he might as well. He volunteers to help overthrow Killmonger--”hey, you’re going to need all the help you can get”--because he knows as well as the others that if Killmonger can carry out his plan then it could create a global catastrophe. His background info on Erik Stevens informs T’challa and company that Killmonger was not a good person, nor did he have good intentions being in Wakanda.

I don’t really like how Shuri kind of puts Everett down: “broken white boy”, “colonizer,” “I know everything about you plus I’m smarter than you so you do as I tell you because you’re a stupid outsider”. I get it, it’s supposed to be justice for hundreds of years of white people treating Africans like this. So me being white, naturally, it makes me uncomfortable. But I don’t see why it’s nice, even if it is cute. It’s like she’s treating him like a pet hamster, or a rabbit or a hare...a baby hare...a leveret.

How am I supposed to know that Shuri doesn’t see Bucky Barnes as just another fun science project? Or just a favor she’s doing for her brother? That’s my jealousy talking, but I think those are questions worth asking.

I’m glad that Shuri recognizes Everett’s skill as a pilot. But she barely explains to him what he’s supposed to do when they arrive in the laboratory--and then she and Nakia hurry off to change into their battle costumes (and Shuri does her hair and makeup, too). Did they not go over the plan in detail and explain things to the noob beforehand?

Zuri had a lot of survivor’s guilt. I don’t blame him but it’s still really sad. You didn’t have to do that, sir.

Even if the Jabari did eat white people, Everett Ross would be just a snack to them.

I kind of like the casual button-up outfit that Everett wears for most of his Wakanda scenes. I think that’s the sort of thing I’d like to see Bucky wearing while he’s in Wakanda

My mom says that in the scene where we see T’challa reenter the throne room she saw M’Baku in there. Really? Was Everett Ross there too?

M’baku is a much nicer person than we give him credit for being. But he really is kind of a drama queen. An he’s just rude. He’s cool but like, come on, man.

Seriously, when he teases Everett about eating him, Ramona, Nakia, and Shuri all give M’baku a look like, “Dude, he’s with us, not now. This isn’t helping.” : /

I’m definitely sticking around for the Black Panther sequel to see how M’baku and W’kabi continue to complicate or uncomplicate things for T’challa

I love how T’challa was shown taking the time processing the news that his father had killed his uncle and how Nakia was helping him through it. It’s like Ryan Coogler understood something that the writers and directors of Captain Marvel did not...

The Queen Mother doesn’t do much in the film but she shines in the scene where she administers the herb to her son. She knows the ritual, she knows how to prepare the herb, she knows just what to do.

“We may be creating a bigger monster with M’baku.” I just LOVE that line. When I was in college I went to the English symposium, and I went to a panel on Frankenstein. One of the papers discussed the relationship between the creator and the creation, and one of the examples the author used was Iron Man 2 and the relationship between Tony Stark and the “monster” that his father created. And the theme runs through the entire MCU and here Ramona Says the Thing Out Loud and it’s amazing.

Golly, that must’ve been a fun hike, up steep trails and slippery ice to Jabariland with a white guy who has no idea what’s going on and thinks he needs to be in charge. While you’re suffering from the fact that your son/brother/ex is most likely dead. Were any of the ladies tempted to just push him off a cliff? Well, I’m glad they didn’t because that wouldn’t have helped their cause.

OR MAYBE: Everett, because he is a nice person, helps the ladies climb up the steep, secret mountain trails safely, he lets them lead the way because clearly he doesn’t know his way around; he and Shuri help Ramona out because she is older, even with Wakandan treatments for aging joints and arthritis she’s still a little stiff, and Ramona tells him “Thank you” and looks him in the eyes when she does so. He catches Nakia when she slips on ice, “Thank you, but I am sure I can take care of myself.” “I know you can, ma’am. Just watch your step.” Everett wishes he and the others had better hiking gear and warm coats instead of just blankets. Shuri and Nakia catch Everett when he falls at least twice: he’s still recovering from his gunshot wound, and the altitude is getting to him. Everett and the three women don’t talk that much while they are hiking, they hold hands and pull each other up while going up the steeper trails. Getting up the mountain takes a team effort and Everett is a part of it.

Nakia; “You know, Okoye wanted to just leave you to die.” Everett: “That’s comforting.”

Of course I get the symbolism of Killmonger and T’challa fighting in the vibranium mine--that mine is literally everything that Wakanda is built on.

“Please stay--I know a way you can still fulfill your calling.” Nakia is like, okay, I’m not sure I believe you, lemme just kiss you.” T’challa is so soft I can’t even.

It is so cool that there are so many female lead characters that are powerful and influential. AND they’re warriors, how cool is that? I respect Nakia, Shuri, and Okoye so much. I might have more in common with them than I realize. More likely, they’re the ideal I should work for. Goes to show how badly I need a sequel.

The reason I like Black Panther so much is because I am white and this film gave me a way to empathize with the black experience. One of the superpowers of fiction is to be a medium to help us discover empathy for others.

It’s like what T’challa says to Steve Rogers in the Civil War mid-credit scene: his dad and the man framed for murdering his dad were both victims of a greater evil. Skin color, wealth, political status--there is nothing that makes that commonality invalid. And T’challa knew that he and his long-lost cousin Erik had a lot in common in spite of a lifetime of not knowing about his existence.

Every character in this film has a story that is beautifully told and I am here for every single one. (Maybe not so much Killmonger and Klaue)

If it’s not too much to ask, though, please be kind to Everett Ross, he is doing his best. He didn’t have to help T’challa take back his country, but it was his job anyway and he knew what T’challa and Nakia and Shuri were up against. (Plus they needed a gosh-darn pilot). T’challa, Nakia, and Shuri refusing his assistance because he was an ignorant outsider would have defeated the entire point of the the story. He is a better person for his experience in Wakanda, and the world is a better place for T’challa having saved his life at all. Everett is, at the very least, a role model for stepping up.

Everett also reminds me of a smol and determined epaulette shark--but then again, he’s played by the same actor who played Bilbo Baggins.

I GUESS some feedback on this post would be helpful. There are some parts where I need to be more blunt about my perspective in order to express my thoughts. Also my feelings about Bucky are kind of not in a good place right now.

#black panther movie #mcu rewatch #wakanda #shuri #killmonger #t'challa #Everett Ross #bucky barnes #meta #headcanons

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dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt · 5 years

Note

Take 2... ODD NUMBERS

Em you absolute MADWOMAN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU X’D X’D

THIS IS GONNA BE ALL THE ODD NUMBERS FROM THIS POST (feel free to still send even ones in pFFFFffffFFFt) so I’m putting it under the cut!! Gonna be looong!! If you wanna learn random stuff about The Matt, click read more. :P

1.if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

Read: Bird by Crystal Chan. Watch: Sense8. Listen to: this song.

3.three songs that you connect with right now.

this - this - this

5.have you taken someones virginity?

Nope. Not… yet? XD

7.if you could, would you take back your last kiss?

Haven’t had a proper one yet, unfortunately.

9.what was the last concert you saw?

Never been to one, too much noise and flashing lights and people = complete sensory overload and panic attack. Cinemas are bad enough. XD BUT I would be pretty tempted to see Coldplay live!!

11.do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

Sweet Cheesus yes please.

13.a song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?

this :D jk jk if it was somebody I rlly cared about it would be my favourite song probably

15.do you want to have kids? How many?

*hYsTeRiCaL lAuGhTeR* buddy I can barely take care of my own impulsive ass let alone a kid. But I’m never one to say never, so… I really don’t know. I’m not gonna be the one getting knocked up though, so adoption or… something else, depending on my eventual partner’s gender.

17.do you miss anyone from your past?

Yes. The two people I really miss though were slowly killing me so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ better off!!

19.have you ever broken someone’s heart?

I sure hope not! D:

21.have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

1) Haven’t had one yet :’) 2) I really really hope I never make them cry, I’ll never intend to. D’:

23.favourite weather?

A nice, cloudy, kinda chilly day with steady rain.

25.do you wanna get married?

Honestly I really don’t mind either way so it’ll depend 100% on my partner. If they want to, sure!! If they don’t, I won’t care. I do have this thing though where I tend to pass out if I stand still for a long amount of time so that’ll be… interesting. X’D my only thing will be that I want the ring bearer to be either dressed up as a Hobbit or to be a v good dog so those are my only conditions to marriage 😂😂😂

27.what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

Frodo reaction memes. X’D

29.what’s your favorite pasta dish?

Ravioli is pretty hecking good! I’m getting back into pasta recently, I never used to like it bc we used to have gluten pasta and it made me feel sick. But now I can find out which pastas I like!!! :’DDDDD

31.what’s your favorite eye color?

Blue eyes are stunning. It’s funny, my Mum has blue eyes and I’m so bitter that I didn’t inherit them. :((( But rlly all eye colours can be super pretty!!

33.are you a morning person?

Yes in the fact that I LOVE mornings. I can be grumpy first thing sometimes when I’m still half asleep but I get really happy and energetic from overtiredness lmao quickly!! :DDDD

35.what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

My boots. I’ve had them forever and I don’t own any other shoes, apart from some runners that are still practically brand new bc I never wear them. XD

37.tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

Okay so normally when I’m awake at 3AM it’s one of 3 scenarios: 1) I got fixated on something and don’t know how much time has passed, or 2) my insomnia has flared up yet again and I am this close to having a mental breakdown because I’m so tired, or 3) I got overtired and now act pretty much drunk and have too much energy to go to sleep. One time I sent Enna three separate rambly stupid asks about her OCs and I was so tired that the next morning I remembered I sent them but I couldn’t remember anything I said. She was super sweet about it. The end. X’D

39.who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

My Dad. We both love the stars. We were also talking about Pokemon and DND. XD

41.do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

I don’t particularly like it, I prefer just downloading songs now. Mainly because I don’t like a lot of songs from the same band and buying a whole CD or record just for ONE song that I like on it is… meh. XD The last one I bought was an Ed Sheeran CD and it was for my mum.

43.what are your favorite memes of the year so far

I haven’t found any yet that really grab me, we’ll see. X’D

45.what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

I got my Dad a One Direction calendar once. We both hated One Direction. (When the cashier gave 12-year-old me that kind of ‘stupid teenaged girl in love with a boy band’ look I stared right back at her and told her with a straight face we were going to light it on fire. I’ve never seen anyone look so pleasantly surprised in my entire life.) My Dad loooved it. X’DI asked my Dad for a toothpick a week before my birthday once and he didn’t have one. Guess what my “present” was that year. Guess. XD

47.describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

V tol and thoughtful and pretty and talented and nice and spams me and sends me pics of cute dogs occasionally. 11/10 good fren, would befren again. :’)

49.is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

Yup. Should be writing 2 things and maybe doing something else but idk if I should do the thing or not so. Procrastination it is. :))))

51.what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

Any mutual of mine who just sends me nice messages or asks me stuff warms my heart so much. And anyone who has ever shown interest in my OCs has my eternal gratitude, if y’all ever need a kidney you caN HAVE MINE.

53.what’s some of your favorite album art?

Literally anything Coldplay has ever had ever.

55.do you like concept albums? which ones?

They sound pretty cool but I don’t think I have any favourites…?? Idk.

57.list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

This one (This one. This one.

59.what do you do when you’re sad?

Isolate myself + throw love at my online friends so hopefully they don’t feel like I do. Also drink warm drinks and reading and spending time with my pets bc they always help.

61.what was the best (non-romantic) night you’ve had?

I read this as sex thing wooPS. X’D Best non-romantic night I’ve ever had.. hmm… the night we got our German Shepherd. It was Good Friday. We’d finally gotten our puppy. We stayed up super late watching her toddle around and fall asleep on us. One of my absolute favourite memories. :’D

63.what’s the best piece of advice you ever received?

“You will only find your special someone when you are perfectly happy with the idea of being single forever. You can only be in a comfortable and loving relationship with somebody else when you are in a comfortable and loving relationship with yourself.”

65.what’s your secret dream?

Be in a Marvel movie one day. ^-^” oof

67.three songs that remind you of the person who sends this one

The only things that come to mind are P!nk songs ASDFGHJKL XD

69.three last songs you listened to

Pffft the songs I put on this thing X’D

71.have you ever had a friends with benefits?

Nope but I’d be open to the idea! (i may even have plans with one fren lmao)

73.Is there anyone you would die for?

My family (friends included), my pets, what’s right: if the world could be magically fixed but I had to die I’d do it on the spot.

75.do you give out second chances too easily?

I used to. But then I used up all my second chances on people who didn’t deserve them. Normally if somebody really seriously hurts me, I give them one more chance and make it very clear for them to please not do that particular thing again. Everyone makes mistakes, I get that. But if they do that exact same thing again, I’m normally gone. I’m done with waiting around and getting hurt over and over just to “be a good friend.” That’s not being a friend, that’s being a doormat/punching bag.

77.is this year the best year of your life?

So far, nope. We’ll see though!!! :DDDDD

79.who/what was your last dream about?

I think it was about Shameless?? I heard there was a trans character so I watched just those clips and I think I dreamt about it. X’D

Thank you so much for asking, Em!! ^____^

#Matt speaks #this took ages but it was really fun!!#XD #<3 #get to know me

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welovejessicaszohr · 6 years

Text

Jessica Szohr on Shameless, Gossip Girl, and Ed Westwick The actress, best known for playing Vanessa on GG, talks about her new role and more.

She's best known for playing Vanessa, Dan's BFF from Brooklyn, on Gossip Girl — which turned 10 in September—but these days you can catch Jessica Szohr as Nessa, Fiona's new tenant, on Shameless. Here, Szohr talks about her new role, GG, and the recent sexual assault allegations against her former co-star Ed Westwick.

Were you a fan of Shameless before you booked the role?

I was. I had known Jeremy [Allen White, who plays Lip] for years when I was living in New York, so when he booked the pilot, and then when it was picked up, a bunch of us got together and watched it. I watched it for the first couple seasons and then I didn’t stay caught up, and then when I was asked to come in to take the meeting and audition for it, I had called my manager and I’m like, "Do I need to watch these three seasons?" And I was always a big fan—you just know how TV is now. You’ll get into something and if for one second leave it, you go back and you have so much to catch up on. But I was always a fan of it. I think the actors are incredible, I think the writing’s amazing.

Did your manager tell you to catch up? What did you decide to do?

It came up pretty quickly. I ended up watching a few of the episodes from where I had left off, just to kind of get the tone and see where everyone was, and then I went and auditioned and within, like, two days they had offered it to me and I was super excited, and it was such a great season and awesome working with Emmy [Rossum, who plays Fiona]. In this next episode coming up you see that I am introduced a little bit more to the family.

Did the cast do anything to welcome you?

They gave a really nice introduction at the table read. When you come into a show and everyone’s working together, it’s kind of like [you’re] the new kid on the block and everyone knows each other, but they couldn’t have been sweeter or nicer, more professional. When you’re going into something after a couple of seasons, sometimes people tend to get lazy or they’re not as excited or they complain a lot. And I didn’t really get that vibe with this [cast] at all. It felt like they had just got picked up and were so excited to have this job. It was a real blessing to be a part of that and see that and to know that people still worked that way. When I say that, it’s not like all the other projects I’ve done wasn’t that way; this was just a breath of fresh air for me.

How is the Nessa/Fiona relationship going to evolve over the season?

They’re friends and they definitely have a good chemistry. Nessa really helps her out, even if it’s just to be an ear to say, "Hey, what about take this advice or try this?" So they grow a pretty good friendship. Nessa thinks Fiona’s this lovely person and she cracks [her] up and Nessa's girlfriend, Mel, has a bit of a chip on her shoulder, and she kind of stirs the pot a little bit. There’s some interesting things that I know I’m not allowed to say yet that comes up...what Fiona helps us out with and that kind of thing. There’s something interesting that happens that is quite shocking. It’s kind of funny at the same time, but that’s Shameless.

Can you relate to the Gallaghers? I know you’re from a big family yourself.

Yes, I’m the oldest of five. I mean, they have so much going on. Being the oldest of five, we were always like running to sports or running to some school function and on the go, and our house was always where people came for dinner and slept over. Ours was very much an entertaining home, where there was game night with all of our friends and family. So the dynamic of everyone being close and having each other’s backs and being there for each other I can definitely relate to, but my dad wasn’t like Frank. The situation of their relationship with their parents I can’t really relate to. But the things between siblings, and being there or having the disagreements and that kind of thing, for sure.

Did anyone from the cast bring up Gossip Girl to you when first joined?

Yeah, Emma [Kenney], who plays Deb, was like, "Oh my gosh, that was my favorite show." And she was such a sweetheart. So we had a pretty long conversation just about filming that and the different characters and how everyone was off set. And Emmy’s from the Upper East Side, so she was a fan of the show as well. I remember when I booked Gossip Girl and I had to do a little research of New York, because all of us came from L.A. I met a couple of people from the Upper East Side I’m like, "I just need to know, is this remotely close?" And I know that some stuff is for shock value for the audience, but even the bags they would use or having limos drop them off—you know, having so much at your fingertips. So a lot of times people were like, "There are certain things on the show that are a little bit more than what we experience, but a lot of it was dead on," whether it was the fashion or wanting to go to different clubs or events. So I found that interesting, coming from a small town [in Wisconsin] that didn’t even have a Starbucks and everyone knew each other, and my whole family lived within a mile apart. It was a totally different world to be in.

Did you leave the show on good terms? Did you want to leave the show? [Editor's note: Szohr left the show as a series regular in 2011, after its fourth season.]

Yeah! Everyone was so excited and blessed to be a part of that, there was never any hard feelings. When I originally went, I was only supposed to go and do three episodes. So on the third one, when they asked me to be a series regular, I didn’t know if that meant I was going to be there for a year, if the show would go two years or three years, so I was just blessed to be a part of it. It was everyone’s first job that gave them a platform, and to be running around New York City…the city was such a part of the show and such a character, and whether it was restaurants or fashion or concerts or an art gallery or museums, everyone wanted to be a part of the show, so they were so lovely to all of us. And it’s also quite interesting because it was based on a gossip blog. And at the time there wasn’t really social media, [not] what it is today. Twitter had started when we were doing the show, but there wasn’t Instagram. So I look back now and find it so interesting that we were doing this show based on how everyone basically lives their lives now. People can’t not check their social media for 10 minutes. And I always laugh with Chace [Crawford, who played Nate] and ask him, because still see each other and don’t live far from each other, "Can you imagine while we were filming if there was all that." We’re like, "Not at all."

But, no, we all had fun, and I feel like it’s one of those things—and I’ve talked to some of my friends that were on That ‘70s Show and other shows that were on for years—and sometimes after you get a fourth, fifth season with TV, because you’re playing the same character, sometimes you’ll hear actors be like, "I’m ready for it to be done." And then a year or two when it’s done, you’re like, "Oh, that was such a good gig, it was so fun."

So, this is obviously a sensitive subject and I approach it with respect for you completely, but Ed was recently accused of rape by multiple women, and I’m just wondering what processing that news has been like for you.[Editor's note: Westwick has denied all claims, saying that he is "cooperating with authorities so that they can clear my name as soon as possible."]

It’s a difficult subject right now for anyone that’s involved on either side…I don’t even really know how to answer it, if I should, because I don’t want anything to get twisted, because I have known Ed for years and know how lovely he is, and don’t think he would ever put someone in a position like that. It’s difficult, because you don’t want someone you know to go through that or do that to someone, or knowing them well, knowing that you don’t think they would, and you don't want, for the girls that are coming forward, it’s like, are they stretching the truth? It’s just, it’s a touchy, tough thing that you pray it’s not true and that with, outside of even him, all these different topics coming up, I’m glad that there’s notice being put on it for women that are going through it. But I also think it’s a touchy, crazy thing too, because some people are going into these different situations and they’re not coming out true. So it’s like, well, why are people making it up, because that takes away from the girls that are going through it. And then it’s also hard to go back and try to get evidence from things that were so long ago. So, I’m really trying to answer this as open and nicely as I can, because it is touchy, and I obviously for any of these situations, wasn’t there, for either side, so I can’t say it did or didn’t happen. But I know him well and I’ve known him for years, and I found it shocking. And I hope that it’s untrue, but I also feel bad for anyone that’s been in that situation, for the women that have to deal with that, for the situations that are true.

Have you spoken to Ed since the news broke?

Yes.

And can you share anything about that conversation?

I mean, he’s going through a difficult time. He’s being accused of something that he’s publicly saying he didn’t do. So it’s, you know, tough on him. His show got canceled. [Editor's note: The BBC announced that "until these matters are resolved" they are not airing Westwick's show Ordeal by Innocence and that filming for White Gold has been put on hold.] You know, he’s like, "The truth will come out and hopefully people see that and hopefully that’s it." It’s just such an unfortunate thing all around. And I have to be so careful, because it’s not my situation and I don’t—I wasn’t there. So it’s hard to speak on behalf of those girls or him.

Right, yes. And I—

I don’t know those girls at all, and they could be lovely and awesome and all that. From the Ed I know and working with him for five years and having a friendship through all of that and after, it was shocking. It was shocking.

Are you saying, then, that you don’t believe the allegations?

I’m trying to feel, like how you asked the question. I mean, from the person I know, I find it shocking, because I can’t see him doing that to someone. And it’s a tough thing because I wasn’t there for those situations and I don’t know. But if you’re asking me "Do I think he would do that to someone?" No, I don’t. But was I there? No. I’m so sorry, I’m trying to answer it in a way—this could get very sticky if this gets printed and my words get twisted, it’s not gonna be great.

Right. I wanted to just make sure that I was clarifying [what you were saying]. To move forward with something more positive, I guess, and to go back to Shameless, can you share a little bit about what happened at the wrap party? Because those are always fun.

We had it at a place in Hollywood and they just had really good food, music. You don’t really get to always see the crew so much outside of work—you’re all there all day and you’re moving from one scene to the next and going in and out of changes, in and out of hair and makeup. So it’s nice to just kind of be in an element of appreciating everyone’s hard work and what everyone does to be their part of this puzzle to make a successful, fun, great show. There was great music, we danced, ate. They were showing clips of this whole season…it was a really good time, and everyone was, I think, happy to be there and appreciate each other’s hard work.

This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

From: Cosmopolitan US

#Jessica Szohr #ed westwick #gossip girl #shameless #emmy rossum #chace crawford #Vanessa Abrams #interview

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herdustisverypretty · 6 years

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AND ANOTHER TAG THING {warning: strong and possibly strange opinions, LONG ASS RAMBLES (which most definitely include strong and possibly strange opinions), frequent oversharing}

tagged by the lovely Angel <3

1. If you could go backward in time, what would you do first? #2008 Log- Don’t pretend to not be bothered by HC and co’s behaviour and actually call them out on their shit. Note to self: You don’t owe anyone anything. #2009-2014 Log- Start homeschooling earlier. Maybe actually tell people how you felt too? You might have gotten a diagnosis, and thus the treatment that has drastically improved your life, sooner and you’d probably have a lot less scars. Maybe none. And also might not be immune to the effect of regular painkillers. Also maybe then you’d be able to just get said painkillers from the cupboard where they used to be instead of having to ask your mother permission on whether you can have some- at age 22- and having to swallow them there to prove you’re not hoarding them for later (cause that’s right, you did that once, ya dumb little bastard). #2012-2013 Log aka You STILL don’t owe anyone anything- Also do not engage with HS AT ALL. Just nip that one right in the bud. Don’t even go there. PTSD ain’t fun. Also do not allow HC to worm their way back in later. PTSD still ain’t fun. Though then you probably wouldn’t have written that one VIXX story and not only was writing that story enjoyable (sometimes???? ... maybe?????????), that story did also apparently help a lot of people too...so... maybe don’t fix yourself for the sake of those people who told you your writing helped them through a lot of their own shit. **Particularly never forget the one person who said they hadn’t cried themselves to sleep a night since finding your story. Taking that back from someone is not a nice idea. LOTS OF SHIT THAT BASICALLY MEANS: stop trying to kill yourself, dumbass. people aren’t lying when they say things get better. well, somewhat. also don’t let people take advantage of and abuse you. or maybe do a bit. because your suffering has helped others and that’s all that really matters right? BUT JUST A BIT. definitely not all of it cause that was Shite.

2. Conversely, if you could go forward in time, what would you want to see? Dumb men (I was going to say ‘straight, white, cis, American’ men but realised I’ve seen other types of men also being equally idiotic, SO I GUESS JUST MEN) being deleted from all youtube comments please. Also maybe shut down tumblr. I think we’d all benefit from that tbh. Also while I’m at it, can we have a game similar to Pokemon GO but instead of catching Pokemon you catch hot anime bishies. Get exercise and also get five thousand hot boyfriends :D Also retaining the nickname feature. Because that’ll be entertaining.

3. What’s your favorite word and why? I’ve always been fond of kerfuffle. It just sounds so cute and happy. A kawaii way to say you fucked someone’s shit up. Petrichor is also a DAMN FINE word. It sounds satisfying and the meaning is EVEN MORE SATISFYING.

4. Hot chocolate with milk or with water? Toppings? Marshmallows? It tastes better with milk, but as I at times have more than 3 a day (since I don’t drink coffee and need caffeine), if I plan to have more than 2 I will make them with water. I believe I have already stated my opinion on marshmallows as well lmao.

5. If you could change one thing about your favorite fandom, what would it be? Tbh delete all appreciation for my absolute NOTP. And no, I don’t actually mean Akashi/Furihata like most other Akashi/Kuroko shippers; I occasionally state I don’t particularly care for that ship, but I tend to just ignore it and its existence for the most part. Whereas my actual ‘I FUCKING HATE THIS’ ship, NOPE I WANT THAT OBLITERATED> DELETE ITS EXISTENCE. WIPE IT CLEAN OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH. This can also be said to apply to one particular person in said ‘FUCK NO’ NOTP. I have frequently expressed my disdain for this character, I do not make it a secret, so it should be no leap to assume who, and which ship, I’m talking about here.

6. You now have the ability to permanently alter one character from any fandom. Who do you pick, and what do you change? -Lmao. Okay. Well, I’ll name some names after all then, shall I? -Can I just. Completely erase Momoi’s existence from KnB entirely? Jfc I cannot fucking stand her one bit. The only redeeming quality of her very 2D, bland, and at times downright offensive character, is her desire for the GoM to be friends again. And I could live without that somewhat nice sentiment if it meant the remaining 99.9% of her shittiness was gone. I will never like her. -I can occasionally stand her in fanfiction if she does’t have a major appearance, and also if she’s not being monumentally annoying. And even then I don’t feel any issues with killing her off due to dislike of her canon characterisation. I could literally care less what happens to her. Harsh, maybe, but I personally feel she brings nothing of value to this series, and tbh it would be far better, and certainly less cringey, without her. -I have essentially been awake for 3 days so this is probably said with much less delicacy than I would normally use, though regardless of insomnia-induced aggression levels, the base feeling is the same.

7. What is your philosophy on life? (Is it pointless, is it meaningful, is it what you make it, etc…) I honestly don’t care about things such as ‘the meaning of life’. We’re never going to know who put us here, if anything did, or what we’re meant to do, if there is anything, or why we are here at all. Just do whatever you want. Everyone’s going to die and the sun will turn into a black hole and swallow the earth and the universe will ultimately end in a rather unpleasant manner anyway. As long as you’re not harming anyone’s way of life, do what ever you want I could care less. (that got kinda dark... I guess that’s what happens when people ask philosophical questions)

8. Would you consider getting a tattoo? If you would, what would it be and where would you put it? -Well the first tattoo I ever planned on getting (decided upon when I was 15), and the one I still want to be my first, is my recently passed dog’s pawprint tattooed on my left wrist; where I used to frequently self harm. The original idea was to get a tattoo of something meaningful there that would remind me every time I went to hurt myself that there’s still reasons for living. I stopped self harming around the same time my dog died in 2015, and even though I didn’t really need the reminder to not hurt myself in that way, I decided that getting his pawprint (which I was given a print of when he passed) would be especially nice, and would serve as a reminder of things I survived, and should I ever need a reminder in the future. My plan is now to get his paw on my left wrist (where the majority of damage was done, as he was my first pet), and when my cat also passes (hopefully not for a while still), I will get her pawprint on my right wrist. -In less meaningful directions, I’ve also wanted the Grey Warden’s emblem tattooed on me for the longest time. I’m thinking thigh in terms of placement. idek what it is about them, or about the DA series in general. I mean, being a Grey Warden is arguably (is it tho) kind of a shitty thing?? You don’t really want to aspire to that if you enjoy, idk, LIFE? But their tagline of ‘In war, Victory; In Peace, Vigilance; In Death, Sacrifice’ IDK BUT IT JUST GOT ME.

9. What’s your favorite headcanon? (Could be your own or someone else’s) Shit, I have A LOT. *These are all mine as well! (mostly lol) -One that I’m still fond of is the hc that Kuroko becomes sleepy after eating a lot (particularly sugary things) which is one reason he eats quite lightly, and that the GoM during Teikou would always be attempting to overfeed him because they thought it was adorable when he curled up in their laps and went to sleep. -Another I came up with is Akashi not being allowed to play videogames (and probably also not watch much TV) after his mother died. Thus, the GoM (and later Rakuzan regulars, YES YOU TOO MAYU WITH UR LOVE LIVE RHYTHM GAMES) would bring in their DSs and PSPs to school to let him play them as a much needed break from all the pressure being put on him. -Ideas conceived with 6ubblegum earlier such as Masaomi actually having an unrequited interest in Kuroko’s dad when they were younger, and obviously him becoming quite upset when Kuroko’s dad married Kuroko’s mother. We also came up with the idea that Masaomi and Shiori’s marriage was arranged by their parents for mutual family benefits and that the pair never cared much for each other, and also that Shiori was aro (also I angstily suggested ‘imagine her crying under her veil as she walked down the aisle tho’). Then I also suggested the idea of what if Shiori and Kuroko’s mother were friends, going on playdates with their sons (and also the humorous idea of them putting baby Akashi+Kuroko in matching dresses). So in the end, Masaomi has never been much interested in his own son, and the only person who cared about Akashi truly was his mother, who is now gone. Also Masaomi becoming understandably VERY opposed when Akashi begins dating Kuroko in school. -Anything involving mentally ill GoM + others (though a chunk of these aren’t even headcanons and more: I am 100% convinced these characters actually have these conditions). Especially fond of self-harmer Akashi. -Also literally any hc where any particular character is either aro, ace, or both. I reeaaaally love ace Kise actually. -AGENDER REO!!!!! -I’ll end it with a somewhat nsfw one. The shameless guilty pleasure with 6ubble of Kise and Kuroko being known as the sluts of the Teikou. They’ve definitely boned all the regulars (including NIji) at least once. Probably more. definitely more

10. Do humans have souls? Do animals? I’ve been awake far too long for these kinds of questions XD UHHH in my personal belief I’ve always maintained the idea that all living creatures (this includes humans, as humans are primates) have a sort of.. living energy?? My belief is that once a creature dies, of its lifeforce/energy/soul/the magic keeping it alive/whatever you fancy calling it, the personality part (which I would say comes from the brain and is made up of memories and of course the individual’s unique personality) goes to a plane with other deceased energies (suppose you could call this heaven of a sort - tbh I always pictured it as kinda like the pyreflies in FFX), while the rest of the energy (which I would say comes from the heart and is, I guess, the emotions the individual has experienced through life) is recycled and returned to the earth to be used again. SOOO a sort of somewhat logical theory that combines both afterlife and reincarnation. I also think that the recycled energies can recognise other energies they knew in previous lives. Not in a literal sense, but more like, they might feel an inexplicable connection, be it between two people, a pet and a human, etc etc. I kinda like the idea of this also explaining real life cases of supposed ‘soulmates’. Two energies meeting that once knew each other and were compatible in a previous life (sounds really YA romance I know). This could also be potentially used to explain some conditions or mental illnesses. Recycled energy that previously had lots of negative experiences may be renewed as someone who is also troubled (blame ur disorders on your energy ancestors lmao). This could explain troubled people who have no family history of any similar experiences. IT ALL SOUNDS VERY FANTASTICAL BUT YE. This has all come together after years of viewing and researching many different spiritual beliefs and recounts of spiritual or other ‘incredible’ events, in an attempt to kind of merge everything into something that could potentially be real and/or believable. Idk if scientifically this would make any sense, but I feel it’s logical enough to suit me anyways.

11. What’s your favorite holiday and why? Well I have mentioned I’m pagan before, sooooo, my answer to this will probably be weird? XD LONG AND BORING BACKSTORY TIME: I didn’t really become self identified as pagan until the age of 13-14, and before that I grew up typically celebrating Christian holidays (Easter, Christmas) despite my immediate family not being religious at all. I always saw these holidays as more just time to be with family than anything else. So I do still celebrate Easter and Christmas as I’ve grown up with them in a culture that celebrates them whether you’re religious or not. I guess Christmas was always my favourite? It’s roughly a month after my birthday, far enough that I get double presents, but close enough that there’s still lots of ongoing excitement. And growing up it was typically the only time each side of my family would all be together (we’d alternate, one year at my mum’s parents, the next at my dad’s). But as I’ve gotten older, and grandparents have died and families have drifted apart, I’ve become less interested in both Easter and Christmas, seeing them now more as just times to buy stuff for people when you really can’t afford to, and tbh now I find myself more drawn to things such as Samhain (also ref that if you have seen spn, they butchered the pronunciation. it’s more akin to ‘sah-ween’ it’s an Irish word I think, which explains everything tbh) in particular. Before last year I had never sought out other pagans in my area and thus was a bit lax in my celebration of sabbats, so when I actually started meeting up with other people in my city early last year, it actually really changed things for me (so emotional sobsob). The Samhain I celebrated with this group earlier in the year (as I’m in the southern hemisphere, Samhain for me is in May) was actually a really really special thing that I did. It also happened to coincide around the 2 year anniversary of my dog’s death, and as Samhain (which has become modern Halloween to most) is a day for celebrating loved ones who have died, it was just a really nice experience to think about my dog, as well as my grandmother who died 3 months before him. THAT WAS A LONG, BORING, AND MUSHY WAY OF SAYING THAT BASICALLY: ‘pagan Halloween’ (tho that term doesn’t even make sense lmao) is actually really lovely and memorable compared to almost every other ‘traditional’ holiday of my life.

Geez you just happened to ask all The Big Questions. And you literally went from 100 to 0 to 100 and then probably to 1000. Or maybe that was just me. I AM VERY TIRED AFTER VOMITING ALL THAT OUT. also my finger joints hurt.

WELL, if you got all through that, here are my own questions, which I totally Did Not steal from other question memes already in existence. I’m definitely not lazy. No I’m actually just very tired lol. These are all going to be fandomy/OTPy questions because WE REALLY NEED SOME LIGHT CONTENT AFTER ALL THAT. Plus everyone loves talking about their fandoms and shit.

1. A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind? 2. What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? What fandom was it? 3. Your favourite fandom {for the people, not the thing you spazz over}? 4. Are there any fandom popular ships that you don’t like or just don’t get? Alternatively, are there any typically overlooked minor ships that you think are really underappreciated? (hay this one i made up myself lol) 5. What was the first thing you ever contributed to a fandom? 6. What’s a popular romantic/sexual ship that you can only ever see as a brotp? (also me!) 7. If you had the chance to make your OTP canon, and your NOTP very clearly stated as ‘definitely not canon eVER’, how would you express this in your ‘new canon’? (i’m on a roll) 8. Which character is Daddy Material? (there’s always at least one, admit it) 9. Character you relate to and why? (please share all tragic similarities) 10. As either a reader, writer, or both!, what’s your favourite fanfic genre and/or tropes? Are there any you always stay away from? 11. Opinions on omegaverse (in any and all forms, ranging from early spn fics, to the surprising amount of BTS/kpop fics, or have you tried the Japanese manga take on omegaverse - or even.... Life From the Ashes)?

#self

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aro-aizawa · 7 years

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SOME GREAT OL’ BNHA FIC RECOMMENDATIONS

Guide

✨ = Favourite 🔥 = Slow Burn  ❗️ = Manga Spoilers  ✔️ = Complete  📔 = Multi-chapters 👊 = Excessive violence / whump

Non-shipping

Yesterday Upon the Stair by PitViperOfDoom ( ✨ ❗️ 📔 ) 148k Izuku has a quirk that lets him sees ghosts. Twists canon in ways that makes the whole story feel new and fresh whilst retaining the charm. Beautifully written and every time there’s a new chapter released I cry because I love it so much (seriously no exaggeration).

Flourish by wildcrisis ( 📔 ) 23.8k Baby Shinsou gets adopted by Aizawa. This fic is full to the brim with domestic sweetness, with a lot of potential angst in the future. There’s also very very vague background EraserMic but if that’s not your thing it can be very easily ignored (or not if you’re into it). Good time and a wholesome fic.

But You Gotta Get Up At Least One More by simkjrs ( ✨ ❗️ 📔 ) 104k Loosely based off One Punch Man, but not necessary for the read. Quirkless Izuku has ridiculous super strength and is basically really badass hero. He accidentally becomes a cryptid of class 1-A, whilst Bakugou’s and Izuku’s relationship is the forefront. Great fic with a lot of development and is very very well written.

Know what I’ve Made By The Marks On My Hands by simkjrs ( ✨ ❗️ 📔 ) 17.7k Also referred to as My Spirit Academia, quirks are abilities that are granted to people by spirits that no one can see. The only exception is Izuku, and this makes him an outcast to both spirits and people. And when heroes start loosing their quirks, it turns out that Izuku is the only person who can help. Sassy child who needs a good nights sleep and a hug.

Daymare by IntrospectiveInquisitor ( 📔 👊 ) 132.9k Izuku gets hit and hit and hit and just can’t catch a break. Basically, the main story but Izuku has a quirk that he finds horrifying, ball of nerves. Just want to wrap him up in a blanket and give him all the love in the world.

The Thin Gray Line by A_ToastToTheOutcasts (  ✔️ 📔 ) 89.6k Quirkless Izuku gives up being a hero to become a vigilante. Ends up doing quite a lot of the same stuff in canon, but quirkless. Sassy child going against the law.

The Difference Between by phaunts ( ✨ 📔 👊 ) 11.9k Kidnap fic with a lot of promise. Or alternatively the mall conversation with Shigaraki ends up with a different outcome, well written and angsty. Man I can’t wait for the next chapter.

The Mentor’s Rage by BeyondTheClouds777 ( 📔 👊 ) 35.7k Izuku gets hurt real bad during the USJ attack. I nickname this fic the great whumping of Deku. Nice mix of angsty and sweet? Also at a point in time where the main story is done, but there could always be more if the author thinks of more. I regularly go back to read this whenever I want to read some good whump fics.

The World Without Me by BeyondTheClouds777 (  ✔️  📔 👊 ) 38.6k Izuku dies whilst out with the class, it’s emotional and Izuku isn’t dead for long. Beats you up in a dark alley with feels, whilst throwing flowers on you ft 19 over protective children and the boy who just needs a rest.

Sound check, one two three by shibo226 ( ✨  📔 ) 41k Izuku befriends a quirkless girl, later she ends up becoming his big sister. An OC involved story, but don’t let that put you off. It’s well written, and honestly one of my favourite fanfictions right now. I rarely like OC fanfics, but this one has my soul.

Kirishima / Bakugou

Those Ten Moments by Kivea ( ✨  ✔️ ) 11.8k Kaminari sees his friends are crushing hard on each other and decides to help set them up. It’s adorable and it’s just a wholesome fic where Kaminari ends up bonding with all the girls whilst setting his bro up. Not gonna lie this fic is 60% responsible for how much I love Denki.

One to Ten by crunchrapsupreme (  ✔️ ) 7.4k Kirishima is all kinds of gay for Bakugou and makes up a friendship scale deciding that when he gets to 10, he’ll ask the explosive blond out on a date. He starts on a -4. Really sweet bonding fic and honestly Kiri is absolutely not subtle.

2am Knows All Secrets by Sarahhaley ( 🔥 ❗️ 📔 ) 55.8k Bakugou gets nightmares and our sweet child Kirishima does his best to help out his bro. It’s really sweet and wholesome, and full of pining. Definitely want to check this one out.

Fight Me by ryonello ( ✔️ ) 2.4k Bakugou gets wrecked for once and ends up in the hospital with a really hot nurse. He’s still stubborn as hell, and Kiri is a cutie so this is a really fluffy fic.

The Beauty of a Beast by starofjems ( 🔥  ✔️ 📔 ) 101.7k Bakushima but with Beauty and the Beast elements. Really well written, Kirishima has scales and there’s magic. It’s gay and whenever I read it I usually have the intense need to watch the third ending over again because it’s got that kind of feel to it? God it’s great.

License to Kill by thats_a_secret ( 🔥 📔 ) 44.2k The Villain Bakugou fic. He’s kidnapped as a kid, and ends up becoming a villain. The shipping is really low key, so technically this should be in the no ship category but not really. Follows canon events but ya know villain Bakugou.

Midoriya / Todoroki

Pulling the Wires by catsplosionxd & PsychoLimbo ( ✨ 👊 📔 ) 47k Izuku is kidnapped as a kid and forced into being a villain comes across Todoroki, they become unlikely friends. Two children who just are in desperate need for hugs and protection. Accurate portrayal of trauma and every chapter I feel I need to rage at any who want to hurt these children. Very gay children. Yaoyorozu is 95% of their impulse control.

Erased Potential by theslytherinpaladin ( 🔥 📔 ) 45.2k Instead of Izuku being taught by All Might, consider Aizawa taking him under his wing instead. Izuku trains to become a hero despite being quirkless, he’s going to fight tooth and nail for his rightful place at UA with Aizawa’s help. Great fic, honestly could be canon. I love quirkless fics.

United In the Storm by theslytherinpaladin ( ✨ 🔥 📔 ) 49.2k Set after USJ, Inko gets killed, and Izuku is adopted by All Might. Sweet and very angsty as you would expect, baby Izuku just wants to get stronger to protect those he loves. There’s also Dad Might so that automatically makes it brilliant. {{ I should mention that I am a sucker for all of PitViperOfDoom’s MHA works, so whilst I could suggest all their works these following are my favourites in particular. }}

Tenth by PitViperOfDoom (  ✔️ ) 2.5k A sad fic that tears at your heart. If you love a heaping serving of angst and sadness involving these two then here’s the perfect fic for you. Really well written and leaves you wanting more without feeling incomplete.

Count Your Blessings, Not Your Flaws by PitViperOfDoom (  ✔️ ) 7.4k Full of pining and misunderstandings involving these two nerds. Sadly relatable for some, but good job the rest of class 1-A has their backs to sew everything back together.

Burn and Breathe / Bedhead by PitViperOfDoom ( ✨  ✔️ ) 13.2k Soulmate AU where you share pain. With these two it’s like gasoline on a bonfire, angsty and beautiful. Well worth a read, especially the latter. It’s easy to say the first is more angsty than the latter, but the latter is a lot sweeter and fluffier than the first.

Riddles in the Heart by PitViperOfDoom (  ✔️ ) 18.8k Super intriguing storytelling, the premise is that whoever answers three riddles correctly gets to marry Prince Shouto, but if you get one wrong you’re executed in front of the public. Izuku decides to give it a try.

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neverending-hurt-comfort · 7 years

Text

Another Random Riverdale Sickfic

(Author’s note: So this took me 5-ever but it got done eventually. Some really shameless angst to follow with more Jarchie overtones than usual! P.S. Wolfstar whump to be posted tomorrow)

Fred Andrews sat on the couch, nursing a beer and staring dejectedly at the late night news. He was exhausted, but he couldn't even contemplate going up to bed. His oldest friend was in jail and his son's oldest friend was now sleeping in the garage. The poor kid had now been abandoned by both his parents and Fred had gone and basically told him to get out. Suddenly, there was a light tapping on the backdoor. He glanced over just in time to see it open. Jughead Jones came shuffling in, beanie missing, black hair mussed, trembling from the short walk to the house. "Hey Jug," he turned and forced a smile, acting like nothing had happened, acting like nothing had happened. "Need something?" He shook his head. There was something not quite right in his face. His eyes were wide and shiny. His eyes were wide and shiny. Fred patted the cushion next to him. Fred patted the cushion next to him. "Come sit with me." Jughead walked over and sat. His posture was hunched and stiff. His posture was hunched and stiff. They sat in a still, heavy silence for a long moment. Then Fred heard a sharp sniffle and a shuddering inhale. He whipped his head around. Tears were running down Jughead's face, rushing down his cheeks and dripping off his chin. "Hey," Fred turned and clamped a firm hand on Jughead's shoulder. "What happened?" What do you think happened? He scolded himself. He leaned closer, trying to make eye contact. Jughead's breath hiccupped and he tried to choke something out. "It's-I-just," he stuttered out, before dissolving in a kind of frantic sobbing that was almost frightening that was almost frightening. Fred had never seen Jughead that distressed and he had no idea what to do. "O-okay, just try to breathe, alright? Take a deep breath and then tell me what's wrong." Jughead was gasping, only becoming more panicked. Fred wrapped his arms around the young man, pulling his head down into his shoulder. He placed a firm hand on his back and held him tighter. Jughead's cheek was burning against his neck. His breath ghosted across Fred's skin. With a harsh gasp and sniffle from right beside his ear, he heard Jughead trying to explain. "It's just-there's no one left. There's nobody left whose obligated t-to care. And then-soon everyone'll decide they're done with me-" Fred could barely follow what Jughead's disjointed words. "Jug," he tried to keep his voice even, pulling back just enough to look at his face. His cheeks were blotchy and his eyes were perfectly round as he stared blankly ahead. Moving slowly, he place a hand on the kid's cheek, before gently cupping his forehead. "I'm sorry you're upset and I'm sorry if I'm the one who made you upset. But I think you're pretty sick and I need to grab a few things. I am not leaving." He kept his voice calm and even, despite the fear rising inside him.

Fred extracted himself from Jughead's grip and rushed into the bathroom. After a bit of digging, he found an old ear thermometer, left over from when Archie was little. He also found a bottle of extra-strength Tylenol and brought both back to the couch. After a bit of fumbling, the device blinked to life. 'Hope this thing still works,' he thought as he reached out. Jughead's squirmed as Fred stuck the thermometer in his left ear. 103.9. Crap. "Okay, okay," Fred nodded. "Come here." He pulled the boy down, so his head was resting in his lap. Jughead shuddered and gasped and Fred sat, absently rubbing his back. "Dad?" Archie's sleepy voice called down the stairs. He shuffled into the living room, eyes widening at the strange sight. "Jug?" He spoke quietly, kneeling down next to the couch. Jughead sat up slowly, his weak arms groping out. Archie wrapped his arms around his friend, rubbing his hand up and down Jughead's shuddering back. Archie leaned closer, letting his chin rest in the crook of his neck. Fred wondered, not for the first time, if his son's feelings for his best friend went beyond the platonic. He and FP had discussed it more than once, jokingly at first but more seriously as their boys grew older. FP had claimed that he would prefer Jughead marry Archie, claiming that he needed an Andrews man to keep him from driving himself completely insane. "Should I take him up to bed?" Archie whispered eyes sad as he glanced up at his father. Fred hesitated. "I don't know," he finally said. "He might need to go to the emergency room?" Archie just nodded calmly, moving to embrace his friend even closer. "Or maybe I'll just take him to the doctor tomorrow. But let's get some medicine in him. And he should stay down here. Where it's cooler. I'll put the fan on him too." Archie had to help Jughead take a sip of water. His hands were shaking too badly to hold the glass. But he managed to swallow the pills and said nothing when Fred started up the ceiling fan. The older man hovered, unsure what else he should do. Archie was still tangled up in his tight hug. "I'll sleep down here, too. He shouldn't be alone." Fred sighed. "I'll stay. You go back to bed." Archie's face went hard. "No," he spoke firmly. "I'll stay." Clearly, their argument was far from forgotten. Fred hung his head and nodded. "Fair enough. Yell if you need me?" Archie nodded, taking the blanket from the back of the couch and wrapping it around the shivering boy on the couch.

Jughead did not seem any better in the morning. In the harsh light of day, his skin was almost grey and the dark circles around his eyes shone dark purple. His movements were sluggish, every action performed in slow motion. Archie was doing everything he could think of, grabbing Jug's clothes and shoes from the garage and pouring him a cup of coffee. Now the two sat at the counter, Archie gulping down his breakfast and Jugheas sitting with his arms crossed and face down. He pulled his beanie low over his ears and ignored the steaming mug in front of him. "I called your doctor, Arch. He'll see Jughead first thing this morning," Fred spoke, sipping his own coffee and leaning against the counter. "Want me to come, Juggie?" Archie asked, staring anxiously at his best friend. Jughead's shoulder rose and fell slightly and whispered a quiet "Whatever." "You go to school," Fred spoke firmly. Archie glared at his father, tension rising between them once again. "Are you just gonna leave him home by himself after?" "Doesn't matter," Jughead muttered, still not lifting his head. Archie finally stood, running his hand over Jughead's back. "Text me and I'll come running, okay?" Jughead just shrugged again. After another moment of anxious hovering, Archie was out the front door. Fred slid into the now empty seat and turned to face the young man sitting face-down at the counter. "What's wrong, Jug?" He spoke suddenly. Jughead shrugged, finally turning his head and opening his dull, unfocussed eyes. "Is your throat sore? Do you have a headache? Does your stomach hurt?" He grew almost desperate, looking for anything he could fix. "No," Jughead spoke dully. "What does hurt?" He sighed. "Everything," Jughead whispered, closing his eyes again. "Here," Fred placed another dose of Tylenol on the counter and retrieved the thermometer from the coffee table. He stuck it in Jughead's ear, angling it slightly to work around his slumped posture. The boy didn't even react. Fred sighed at the reading. 103.3. "Let's get going, bud," he spoke quietly. The doctor was less helpful than anticipated. There was nothing. Not strep. Not mono. Not meningitis. Not appendicitis. Not bronchitis. Not an ear infection. Not pneumonia. The doctor had taken about a gallon of blood and promised to call if anything turned up. Jughead didn't seem particularly bothered by any of this. He seemed...tuned out, just staring into space and not really responding when spoken to. Jughead went straight to the couch when they got home. Vegas trotted after him. He wrapped his arms around the big yellow dog and closed his eyes. "Want to head upstairs? You can sleep in my bed if you want. You'll be a a lot more comfortable. "No," Jughead tucked his face against Vegas' neck and went quiet. Fred hovered. "Want me to stay with you?" "No." Fred sighed and walked into the kitchen. He set the phone, the remote, and a bottle of water within easy reach of the couch. "You can call me if you need anything," he spoke quietly. Jughead just nodded. He hesitated for another long moment. "I'll get you some more medicine but then I really need to get to work." "Okay," was the only response he got. So, he set out another dose of painkiller on the table and hunched down to give the poor kid a quick hug. "Feel better, alright? And call me if you feel even a little bit worse." Jughead just nodded again. And then Fred really had to leave. Guilt twisted up inside of him. If it were Archie, there was no way in hell Fred would leave him alone. But Jughead wasn't Archie. Jughead did not like to be coddled. Or to be touched at all really. So Fred left, with a deep nagging feeling that screamed at him to stay. Jughead slept all day. Every time he managed to claw his way into conciousness, the bone deep ache of his body made him simply roll over and go back to sleep. He jerked upright in late afternoon. His eyes felt like some had rubbed them with sandpaper. Everything blurred and swayed around him. His heart was pounding in his chest. So fast he couldn't breathe. His dream was had set him on edge. He'd wandered in an infinite and pitch black darkness. Every moment that passed, his panic grew exponentionally. He couldn't see, hear, or feel anything. All he knew for sure was how completely and uttetly alone he was in that endless space. A fresh wave of tears filled Jughead's eyes and slowly spilled over. His eyes stung and the sudden wetness burned his already raw cheeks. He couldn't even bring himself to care. He groped out blindly until his hand found the cool plastic of the remote. The TV glared to life. He didn't even bother to look at what was playing. It was sound and light. That was all that mattered. He curled up again, huddling into himself. Archie Andrews jogged up his front steps. He'd bailed on football practice, giving some bullshit excuse about having a migraine. But he needed to get home. Jughead needed him. Archie had spent the entire day in a state low key anxiety. Watching his stoic and wonderfully cynical best friend cry and sob and cling to him was more frightening than he could've imagined. Fumbling his keys, Archie threw the door open, realizing a second too late that slamming into the house at top volume when a very sick boy was trying to sleep was not his best plan. But Jughead didn't make a sound. Archie found him hunched in the fetal position on the couch. His paper-pale skin was blotchy and raw. His eyes were irritated and red, fresh tears still shinning on his face. Like he was crying even in his sleep. It made Archie want to cry too. But he held it back and leaned forward, touching his knuckles to Jughead's scorching forehead. Archie really should have shaken him awake. Given him water and medicine and maybe even a hug. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. Archie simply laid down on the floor, right next to the couch. He was suddenly so, so tired. Jughead opened his eyes again. The light had changed. It was growing even later. Something red flashed in the corner of his eye. He looked down and saw Archie, still wrapped in his lettermen jacket, slumped on the floor next to him. "Arch..." his voice was a hoarse whisper. Archie's dark eyes opened and he smiled sleepily. Jughead reciprocated with a wavering smile of his own. Without a word, Archie reached up his hand, offering it out gently. Jughead sat motionless for a moment before weakly reaching out gripping the offered hand. Archie squeezed tight. Jughead squeezed back. His eyes shone but there was something more than the expected sadness.

#riverdale sickfic #jughead jones #fred andrews #archie andrews #sickfic #fever #crying #fanfic #riverdale fanfiction

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