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mlmarint · 5 days

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so here’s my thoughts about the “daddy issues” thing with the whole anti tommy shit

you guys are such fucking hypocrites

i would be totally on board with someone bringing that it’s not okay to sexualize someone’s trauma if that was the case. but guess whaaaaaaat???? THATS NOT THE CASE. and it’s not “terrible dialogue” either, there’s so many scenes with terrible dialogue in this show, but some of you should really stop and ask yourselfs WHY you didn’t like this one.

if eddie was the one to make a comment like that some of you’d be OVER THE MOON. i’ve NEVER seen ANYONE in this fandom talk about how a LOT of the buddie explicit fanfics have a daddy kink on it. and before any more comments, i REALLY HATE buddie fics with daddy kink because it always reminds me of christopher and do NOT want to think about christopher in that moment.

“that’s not the problem. the problem is that once again buck it’s with someone who doesn’t care about his trauma” oh grow the fuck up.

tommy LITERALLY decided to not date buck because he thought buck wasn’t ready for it, he gave buck his space, he at first didn’t want to go to maddie and chimney wedding with buck because he thought buck was acting on impulse and wanted him to take his time to be okay with who he is, and after he was sure he tried his best to be on time to his date.

and also!!!! buck is a little “freak” in bed guys, he was a literal sex addict in season 1. every now and then the show reminds us this (like the ring cutter scene), also this is the second buck’s relationship with someone who’s like older than him. i wouldn’t be surprised if buck has a canon daddy kink because GUESS WHAAAAAT some people who have daddy issues??? THEY HAVE DADDY KINKS!!!!!

but you guys wanna know what i truly think?

i think that some of you (these tommy antis) are only here for buddie. you’re not here for the show, you’re here for buck and eddie. you’re not here for all these amazing characters!!! you’re not here for the fact that buck being a bisexual man discovering that side of him in his 30s its one of the most important things that happened in this show when we’re talking about lgbt+ characters and the importance of having something like that to be on media.

you’re not here for bi buck, you’re only here if this means that eddie will be with him. you’ll won’t be here if they decide to give a eddie queer discover story non related to buck on season 8 (and i truly think we’re going that way).

you only liked buck and tommy when you could sexualize two man kissing.

if you want to talk about something that is not okay that tommy did why don’t you rewatch the older episodes he’s in? he wasn’t a nice person back then and honestly i would like for them to bring that up!!! for them to show how a person can change and grow out of their prejudice and realize that they don’t need to be an ass and be okay with who they truly are. in fact why don’t we talk about how they hinted the fact that tommy didn’t like who he was when he was working with gerard? that he doesn’t like gerard and that he was a toxic person and that tommy grow up with a racist, homophobic and sexist dad???? that’s why he wasn’t a nice person back than but he’s different now and he’s a proud gay man and that once again that’s a nice thing to have on media because it shows how it’s NEVER too late to come in terms with who you are and change the way your are for better????

tommy isn’t perfect (and no one that he hurt before seems to actually care about it cause he did truly changed), but that doesn’t mean you need to cancel the guy FOR ONE SINGLE comment!!!! part of the 911 team made fun of buck for being sexually assaulted by his therapist but no one canceled them for it, did they?

honestly i am so fucking tired with fandoms in general.

at this point i hope we don’t get buddie being canon FOR A LONG TIME cause i want you guys to suffer with tommy and buck being in a happy relationship.

just remember: eddies it’s not canonical queer yet, there’s hints of it and they probably are going on that road with the whole thing they’re saying on interviews, BUT buck IS BISEXUAL and HE IS dating TOMMY you like it or not and it’s by far the most healthy relationship he EVER had in this show, can’t you be happy for him????

you can be a buddie shipper and still enjoy bucktommy because what we should truly want more than anything it’s buck and eddie to be happy with who they are.

and I SAY ALL THIS BEING A BUDDIE SHIPPER FOR YEARS

#tommy kinard they could never make me hate you #911 abc #911 spoilers #911 show #eddie diaz #ryan guzman #evan buck buckley #evan buckley #tommy kinard #buddie #bucktommy

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laurenfoxmakesthings · 1 year

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ID: A thread of tweets by PinkRangerLB, a trans lawyer, that say the following.

"We in the LGBTQ+ community must understand that our dead were real people. Vital, awake, worlds unto themselves, like us. They didn’t live and die for the sake of our learning, but they have a lot to teach.

I want to tell you about Hart Island and hope in the darkness. /1

When I say they were real people I mean I do not believe they are necessary sacrifices, or that our dead paid a cost for us. They loved, they feared, they had favorite TV shows and candy bars. They were here and it will never ever ever be okay that they’re gone. /2

They’re not symbols or metaphors. They had books to write, vacations to take, meals to cook, and the world would be better with them still in it. We aren’t enriched by death, but we can stand in their shoes and see the future. /3

Hart Island, if you don’t know, is where New York City buries bodies that aren’t claimed by a licensed funeral director. At the height of the AIDS epidemic funeral homes were urged not to embalm AIDS fatalities. /4

In New York, as elsewhere, stigma toward the queer community was at a level that even now it can be difficult to remember. Many queer people who died of AIDS had been disowned by their birth family because of their identity, their HIV status, or both. /5

To make matters worse, their partners and found families had no rights to their medical care or their bodies after they passed. The hateful families that could claim them often didn’t, and the families that loved them were powerless to see to their wishes. /6

You can read more about all this at the memorial’s website, here:

hartisland.net/aids_initiative

You can feel their weight, can’t you? The absence is heavy. And it’s important we understand that weight, because it’s a flat fact that current attacks on LGBTQ+ rights, trans rights especially, will kill people. There will be more absence, and it is not okay. /8

And when we say we have hope we are not saying it’s okay that they will be gone.

None of this ignores intersectionalism, higher rates of infection in targeted communities, death rates higher still. When I say things *can* get better I am not ignoring that improvement favors /9

the privileged.

Things got better. ACT UP and other activist groups organized and gained ground through community building, mutual aid, and grassroots action. Culturally, the tide began to turn. Federal action by Reagan and then Clinton contributed very little /10

(and in fact often caused harm). Direct action by activists galvanized AIDS research and the tide turned with very little government help.

In New York City, the death rate for HIV/AIDS patients fell by 62% from 2001 to 2012. So here’s what I’m saying. We’ve been seeing /11

an escalating backlash against LGBTQ people for years now. It gets very easy for us to come to expect the worst case scenario. Trump won, states are attacking trans kids, Roe was overturned. So now we say WHEN the Supreme Court overturns gay marriage, WHEN a national /12"

abortion ban passes, WHEN trans healthcare for adults gets criminalized.

And don’t get me wrong, those are all very real threats. We have to fight like hell. I am not pretending that times aren’t dark, that people won’t die, or that it will ever be okay that our people will /13

suffer and die. But things can, and do, get better when we fight, when we look after each other. The tide will not inevitably turn, but *we* can turn it. We can say that when the wall finally fell, our hands were there, pulling it down brick by brick. /14

And those we lost, if we remember them, honor them, we are their hands too. /15"

#lgbtqia+#trans rights #transgender #activism #lgbtq #queer community #queer activism #lgbt #queer history #AIDs Crisis #you should share more of her threads on here they are often this anti-defeatist #I've been trying to use twitter less and go to tumblr more to get away from twitter's defeatism #I don't want any of you to start importing and accepting that defeatism here

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scientia-rex · 2 months

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I got home from work today sneezing my head off with a right eye that won’t stop watering, took a hot shower, climbed into bed, and I haven’t climbed out since. I’m grumpy and I have a headache and if I’m not testing positive for COVID or debilitated by symptoms tomorrow I’ll still need to go to work because that’s twenty patient visits that would need to be rescheduled, usually with someone else, and that’s twenty people I’m letting down. Today I did one of my patented 45-second Pap smears (if it takes longer than that, your doctor needs to get better!) for someone with vaginal atrophy from menopause (it is both very common and very treatable) and she was in disbelief. (This time it was more like 30 seconds.) I saw a suicidally depressed patient who’s clinging to life with both hands and I changed their meds last week and I am not making them wait to see me. I cleaned a wound no one else gave a shit about and I saw a bitter pissy Republican Party bigwig who has terrible anxiety and depression she doesn’t tell anyone about, who’s alienated everyone but who I can still convince to try treatment.

I do my job on hard mode on purpose. I like being important—who doesn’t? I like being legendary, I like that when people move to town and ask for doctor recommendations on Facebook so many people mention me that other patients feel compelled to tell me about it. I got nominated for best doctor in our local region last year. (I didn’t win, out of 5 nominees.) But when I’m sick, when I’m the kind of sick that can be hidden easily, the kind of sick I was always expected to go to school and rotations and residency with, it’s so hard. I hate exposing patients, even to a cold, but the benefits of receiving care are probably enough to outweigh the chance of transmission. I wrestle with myself: if I call in, it starts a ripple effect. Can they get a per diem from their “pool” (of three) to come in? Can they reschedule my patients with me? I don’t have any open spots for five weeks. Can they open same days? None available for three weeks. Can they open blocked spots? That’s going to make my life hell when I come back from being sick. That’s clinic staff calling twenty patients, trying to reach them. That’s twenty patients who feel abandoned. They can know intellectually that doctors get sick too, but they don’t believe it. They take it personally. I have seen this over and over again, until I had to believe it.

It is so EASY for people who don’t do this job to tell me how I’m doing it wrong. “Just stay home!” Oh, okay, you want to tell the person whose chronic opioids I’m supposed to write for that I can’t? You want to put the nurses through getting the on-call to write a bridge prescription? I write more ADHD meds than most of my peers—usually a lot more. You want to tell my colleagues to write meds they’re uncomfortable with? How about tell my suicidal patients (which is a lot of them!) that the provider they know and trust after months or years will be replaced today by a 70-year-old white man who still thinks they should pull themselves up by their bootstraps? Tell my queer patients that they have to wait until I’m better and back to get their hormones and their STI screenings, reschedule a Pap someone was dreading. Every day is a kaleidoscope of opportunities to make a real connection with “difficult” patients. I’m good at it. I may be the best at it at my clinic.

I don’t hate calling in sick just because the clinic manager is a judgy bitch, though that doesn’t help. I hate it because of what it does to my patients. And it’s not simple. Pretending it is does all of us a disservice. I am not a widget. I am not easily replaceable. You can’t plug any of our per diems (all men, 2/3 white, 2/3 old, 1/3 a Bitcoin bro) into my place and call it an equivalent, and my schedule is already so packed that if I call in sick, patients will be guilt-tripping me about it for months. I’m not kidding. That happens every single time.

Christ alive, I wish it was true that doctors never got sick.

#the attending dr. kristophine

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swp2023 · 2 months

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SWP Account

TW: transphobia, transmisogyny, SA, gaslighting/manipulation, general trotskyist bullshit

I first joined the SWP as a minor during the Honor Oak demos. When I attended one of the protests for the first time in May 2023, I knew fairly little about the British left and its intricacies. I joined at a time when I was incredibly vulnerable - I was an isolated trans teenager with a poor home and school life and few friends. I initially joined SUTR but was soon syphoned into the SWP and became a formal member around 1.5 months in. After four months I was lucky enough to meet people outside of the party, find my own systems of support, and start drifting away from them. At the beginning of October I formally left the party and rescinded my membership. I essentially speedran the process. I know that I am not the first to come forward about their experiences in the SWP, and that my account won’t be as horrific or traumatic as others’. But the more I sit with the memories of spending time in the SWP, the more frustrated and angry I become with how poorly I was treated, especially as a trans teenager. A while ago, I compiled a list of everything I could recall about being in the party and its impact on me, and I’m hoping sharing it will draw more awareness to the extent that the Socialist Workers Party hasn’t changed and actively poses a threat to young activists.

Structural/Functional Problems

Most people are aware of the SWP’s overt focus on recruitment, but within the party it’s even worse than it looks from the outside. Recruitment processes target those new to activism, especially young women and queer people. On multiple occasions, SWP leaflets were purposefully plastered outside my secondary school and other schools in the area. Once you’re involved with the party in any capacity, there’s a lot of pressure to ensure you formally join - if you’re not a member, within a month you’ll have membership papers being shoved in your face constantly. The worst instance of this was when I attended Marxism over the summer while I was in quite a bad place. I ended up having a breakdown in a corner of SOAS, and someone walked up to me when I was visibly upset and somehow tried to use it as a recruitment opportunity. Although far from the worst of their faults, the recruitment means the party is incredibly stagnant and frankly, boring. The same meetings repeat over and over, the same discussions are held, conferences are repetitive and demos are attended only for the purposes of recruiting or selling papers.

The general attitude towards other, non-SWP activists is extremely condescending and patronising, especially in both formal and informal discussions of anarchism and grassroots organising. I consistently heard anarchists being reduced to a violent, ineffective group of rag tag young un’s who don’t know what they’re doing. I think it must have been in their handbook to describe anarchism as “grabbing 15 of your mates and beating up fascists”, because I heard that exact phrasing used at least twice. The belief that the SWP’s unwritten values and structures are the only correct ones runs deeply, and since I was a teenager my age was often used to dismiss my actions as immature or naive. I was told I was being pretentious for wearing a mask at demos - I’d been doxxed before and was looking out for my safety but apparently this made me appear “hostile and unwelcoming”.

I can’t emphasise enough how much everyone in the SWP is treated as disposable unless you work for them. They don’t care about arrestee support, accountability, or building safe environments. I was a trans teenager so I looked good for their party, but ultimately they couldn’t care less what I had to say and I was often shut down or told my ideas weren’t appropriate. The SWP consistently seizes the politics of individuals’ marginalised identities to create a more appealing facade, while also discarding the same individuals as soon as they are no longer politically convenient.

Lack of Accountability

From the beginning, it was clear that there were zero helpful routes for complaints or conflict resolution. I asked multiple times at meetings what their explicit process was for dealing with internal issues, and at best I got an off-hand mention to the central committee. Mostly I was shut down right away and told it wasn’t the right time to ask - a better time never became apparent. There is zero transparency and it didn’t take me too long to realise that I had no faith in anyone in the party to protect me or listen to me if something went south. You’ll hear them talk about their “disputes committee”, which was established as a response to the Comrade Delta coverup, but despite all the time I spent in the party I still have no idea who’s in this committee, how to access it, or whether it’s ever successfully resolved a dispute.

No one talks about the coverup. This isn’t too surprising but every time I tried to ask about it, I was met with the same awkward dismissal. It’s creepy how everyone who’s been in the party for a while feeds you the same “that was a long time ago and we’ve changed and learned from it” schtick. Even a month in the party would be enough to show you that this isn’t true. The process of covering up the reputational damage from Comrade Delta is very much still active and the more time you spend around them, the more subtly intrinsic it becomes to everything you do. I was walking with a paid member of the SWP and watched him slap an SWP “trans rights now” sticker over one that read “the SWP protects rapists in their party”. No organisation that’s suitably addressed its failures should feel so threatened by the reminder of them.

More widely, there are never any internal criticisms of the party. When I was in, I was in deep. I went to their weekly meetings, their organising meetings, their conferences - I went to fucking marxism. Not once did I hear a natural critique arise, there’s a complete lack of self awareness. It isn’t an environment where you’d feel comfortable expressing criticisms, and this has led to an echo chamber of sorts in which many members are incapable of conceiving themselves or the party as imperfect. It’s a dangerous amount of self-assuredness and this attitude allows for a culture of racism and bigotry to underlie the party’s supposedly anti-racist fronts - microaggressions don’t get called out, racism gets excused especially in the predominantly white spaces. There aren’t any attempts to actually foster anti-racist mindsets or incorporate it into how they organise, it’s largely just for external presentation and again, recruitment.

Any issues that do get brought up are met with absurd amounts of gaslighting and guilt tripping. The party runs on guilt and censorship. If you ask too many questions people start acting cold or frame your comment as needlessly confrontational. Even now, I still struggle to process a lot of what happened because I was constantly told it was normal, that I was overreacting, that because I was relatively new to activism I didn’t know what I was talking about.

Transphobia and Transmisogyny

As I’ve mentioned, my main involvement in the party was based around my identity as a trans youth, but there was very little regard for my safety as it pertained to this. For instance, without any warning a parcel was sent to my house with my chosen name on it. This put me in a bad situation because my parents hated the thought of me going by another name, I had to lie and endure my home life temporarily getting much worse. When I brought it up with someone I trusted in the SWP, it was dismissed without so much as an apology for putting me in a dangerous situation. I spoke to another trans ex-member about this and they told me about going through the exact same thing a few years back - the SWP doesn’t learn or change.

There is consistent, blatant transphobia in the party. There were too many occurrences to list out here, but it’s so profoundly endemic to the party that I spent a considerable amount of time feeling uncomfortable and objectified. I had someone tell me they wouldn’t use they/them pronouns because “it’s too hard”. I was constantly misgendered, and although it was sometimes a careless mistake it was often very clearly intentionally weaponised. Almost every time it happened there was someone in the room who knew me well enough to know what my pronouns were and correct the mistake, but that never happened. No one stood up for me.

There’s explicit transmisogyny. In addition to being generally misgendered and sexualised, trans women are often referred to with they/them pronouns and as a “person”. There was a trans woman quite deeply involved with the party who I spoke with a few times, she often got dismissed when she contributed at conferences and one time, a cis dude fully stood up and started talking over her while the chair of the meeting allowed it to happen.

Contrary to what the SWP would have you believe, there just aren’t many trans people in the party. Certainly not a proportionate amount when compared to the wider left, which isn’t surprising once you’ve experienced being trans in there - there aren’t any attempts to make you feel any less isolated, ostracised, or used. There are, however, plenty of cis people who think that just because they’ve attended a trans demo or two they know more about the experiences of trans people than we do.

I want to note that all the transphobia I experienced and witnessed took place while London branches of the SWP were spending their time at HO trans rights demos, handing out their placards, using it for recruitment, and taking credit for the work that was mainly being done by grassroots activists. Transphobia is just one example of how hollow their ideals are.

Non-Existent Consent Culture

When I was sitting in a conference at SOAS, a man I didn’t know sat next to me and ran his hand down my back while we were talking, and then repeatedly tried to scoot closer to me when I moved away.

A different time, someone tried to get me to sit close enough to them so that our legs were touching.

Both of these incidents were extremely creepy and uncomfortable, and just to be clear: I was visibly/openly a minor during both.

In general, physical contact is heavily normalised and sort of expected. There was always an expectation that you’d hug people, that you were okay with being patted on the back or having an arm around your shoulders or whatever. I always felt uncomfortable with this and although some people were fine with it and people’s intentions weren’t always harmful, there’s just generally zero consent culture and most times I wouldn’t have felt comfortable saying no.

When I was in a transition phase of technically still being in the SWP but trying to spend as little time around them as possible, one of them came up to me at a demo (where, for the record, I’d just been through quite a traumatic incident - not that it should have to matter) and tried to pull me in for a hug without asking. When I flinched away without saying anything other than “hi”, she later commented to a comrade that I was being rude. The persistent entitlement to my body and my consent was disgusting.

Exit Process

When I started spending less time with the SWP and more time with anarchists and antifascists, they were semi-aware of it so I got lots of calls and messages purporting to be “checking in”, but the undertone was very much “why aren’t you standing with us at demos anymore”. No one ever checked in on me when I was properly in the party. One of the calls was particularly lengthy and pretty much summed up to “we feel like you’re drifting away, we really miss you and you’re our comrade” - more guilt tripping. The feeling that I was trapped because I was constantly being contacted and approached at demos was bad enough to make me actively suicidal.

The final breaking point for me was a conversation that happened in the South London SWP group chat that had reached an intolerable level of censorship. Someone, very politely, complained about how the branch had made a commitment to doing hybrid meetings but consistently struggled to actually have working tech/mics/etc. They also suggested a possible solution. They got shut down with a curt “our main focus has to be in the room rather than on our phones”, a comment that rightfully got called out as being explicitly ableist, especially since the following messages implied that attending online was insufficient or lazy. This conversation was concerning enough, but the original person then got told they “sounded harsh” (they didn’t - I’ve seen more lively conversations in my extended family’s whatsapp group), and was explicitly told to delete their message. I finally had a good answer to what happens when you criticise anything the SWP does, and this was a fairly mild criticism too.

Then, a comrade I know very gently expressed their support for the original person - literally just said that they agreed with them and didn’t think they were being harsh. This comrade (also a teen) got two separate DMs telling them that they “misunderstood” what was happening and to delete their message as well. The hierarchies and power structures within the SWP are so obviously corrupt, and this whole incident just made that much more clear to me.

I sent a final message on this chat, calling out the patterns of behaviour I’d noticed and advising people to do what I had - take a step back and look at who actually gets listened to in the party, at the corruption that’s so deeply rooted in it. Then I left that chat. The next day I was removed from every SWP-related chat I was in - fine by me, I was done. I did get sent one DM telling me that I had misread the situation, was overreacting, etc. It was incredibly infantilizing and blamed the fact that I’d been associating with other people as the reason I’d formed these opinions - clearly the SWP was reliant on my isolation.

I was out of the chats but I did get the aforementioned comrade to update me on the aftermath, which was mostly damage control. The upcoming conference got plugged, people talked shit about me for being immature and overreacting. I’ve got screenshots of this incident in particular but I honestly don’t think they’re too worth sharing. I firmly believe that painting the bigger picture of the party and how and why it operates like this is much more important.

I’d say I made it very clear that I wanted nothing more to do with the SWP and its members, but to this day I still have issues with them at demos. I’ve had people come up to me and try to touch me in various ways - hugs, back pats, etc - that I’ve expressed I’m uncomfortable with. There’s someone who winks at me. The general attitude towards me seems to be either glaring me down when I walk by (I don’t mind this honestly), or being overly nice as if I hadn’t been groomed into their cult (this is considerably worse).

I think this summarises it pretty well. It’s not everything - some stuff is hard to talk about, some would involve revealing info about me that I need to be private, and honestly my brain has defensively blocked out a lot of the time I spent around the SWP, so I’m still remembering stuff out of the blue. But please listen to me, listen to everyone else who’s been through their pipeline and made it out the other end. They aren’t just an annoyance with boring placards, they hurt people. They prey on young queers and women and don’t actually give a shit about anyone. Kick them out of your demos, kick them out of your circles, and also - try to get people out! I owe my life to the anarchists who were like “hey, we see you’re in there and you probably don’t want to be - you can hang out with us”. Most of the people the SWP recruits are sucked in before they have a chance to form other networks, and it’s hard as fuck to leave a party when all your activism takes place within it and you’ve got nowhere else to go. The Socialist Workers Party is broken beyond repair and needs to be dissolved, and I would encourage its current membership to resign. Thanks for reading.

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mrs-snape5984 · 2 months

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“As long as I'm with you, I've got a smile on my face…”

“Save your tears, it'll be okay. All I know is you're here with me…” (“Here with me” by D4vd)

Suffering from ME/CFS makes me feel like my whole world is falling apart in front of my eyes. Since I’ve already lost so much joy and so many abilities due to this devastating disease, my continuing loss seems to increase even further.

As some of you might know, do I love to write my own stories about Severus and Julia just as much as I enjoy using my tumblr blog as some kind of journal, whenever I’ve commissioned another artwork. It’s my way of rolling out a red carpet for the artists of Snapedom…it’s my way of honouring them for their talent in their profession. Commissioning those amazing people and letting them make my ideas and fantasies come to life, is my very own manner of coping with my physical and emotional pain.

And now, this coping mechanism seems to crumble into pieces as well as everything else, that I’ve already lost! It hurts me to admit, that my brain fog takes advantage of my capability to create vivid images with my words. My thoughts are getting blurry and chaotic. I’m struggling to find the right words to express my emotions (it’s even worse in my native language German than in English!!)…and this scares me to hell!

My mind was the only place, where I could find some shelter from my infuriating and terrifying reality of losing myself to ME/CFS. What if I forfeit my only - just barely existing- talent now?? How should I flee this nightmare of existence if writing wouldn’t be an option anymore?! How should I express my gratitude towards all those marvellous artists of Snapedom, who are all weaving my emotional comfort blanket with each piece of their art?!?

I don’t want to give up on my writing…and I won’t…even though my pride would probably fade away with each badly written chapter of my fictions…and with each unworthy post on my blog. I must admit, that I’m already acknowledging the loss of quality. 🥺

I found an inspiring poem about the importance of staying resilient, no matter how difficult the hardships of life might become, and I want to share it with you:

"KEEP GOING" (Better known as "DON'T QUIT") by Edgar A. Guest

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and debts are high, And you want to smile but have to sigh.

When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest, if you must, but DON'T YOU QUIT!

Life is queer with its twists and turns, As everyone of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about,

When he might have won if he'd stuck it out, Don't give up though the pace seems slow, You might succeed with another blow.

Often the struggler has given up, When he might captured the victor's cup.

And he learned too late, when the night slipped down, How close he was to the golden crown,

Success is failure turned inside out, The silver tint on clouds of doubt, And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems afar,

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit, It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

My dear @mmad-lover, I can’t stress enough how grateful I am for your dedication to this stunning piece of art and believe me, it was worth every single second of waiting! Paula, I was incredibly touched to hear, that my request seemed to be something special, something personal to you. I can assure you, that, indeed, all of my ideas have a profound meaning to me and I’m glad that you’re such an empathetic person, who sensed that particular importance of your art to me. Your devotion to this drawing is palpable in every single detail, every line of your brushes. You created exactly the mood, that I wished for Severus and Julia. It doesn’t matter that the world is burning to the ground around them, they will always have each other’s backs! Just like I’m relying on Severus for more than 21 years now. Thank you for everything, you precious soul! I’m glad that I met you and I hope, we’ll stay in touch. 🥹

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

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baby-girl-aaron-dessner · 6 months

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Hi, I’m glad you’re bringing this topic up without it feeling like you’re going to be rude—in fact you’re being kind about it.

I do wish she’d speak up on a lot of topics. I live in the south, but am not a “typical southerner”. I’m a queer liberal. I would’ve loved for her to say something about the reproductive rights that were taken away from my state the very week she played multiple shows here, but she didn’t. Or to have voter registration available at the venue.

But back to Palestine, which is an absolute genocide. I’ve been torn wondering if I’m simply wanting her to speak up on it because it’s what I believe is right—or do I think it would effect change? I don’t know the answer to that, but you seem better versed than I am, and I guess I’m hoping this is a safe space to ask that. What would we hope comes from Taylor speaking out about this? I am trying to think critically about this, so I hope you won’t see this as me disagreeing. I really do wish she would. I just don’t if what we’re asking of her would end up being performative for the public, or would it effect real change to save lives in Palestine?

Hi anon, firstly, I’m so sorry to hear that your reproductive rights were stripped from you and your fellow citizens. If there’s anything I can do to help – whether that be signing a petition or donating to women in need – please let me know.

Secondly, I do want to make sure this is a safe space for swifties (especially those of us who are minorities and often feel overlooked in the fandom) to express their thoughts because its important that we use our critical thinking skills as opposed to following someone blindly and without question (we’re not sheep, after all).

To answer your questions, “What would we hope comes from Taylor speaking out about this?” and “would it effect real change to save lives in Palestine?” there are 2 main points worth discussing.

Firstly, the most obvious point is that Taylor herself believes in activism and has stated that "I need to be on the right side of history". For reference, please see her Miss Americana documentary, her Rolling Stone interview on discussing white privilege as well as a bunch of other times she has made her stance clear (Tweets about Trump, interviews in her Lover era, her speech during Pride Month etc.).

Unfortunately, because she no longer participates in activism and hasn’t for a long time now during the peak of her career, it’s fair to criticise her previous activism during her Lover era as performative or selective.

It begs the question, “Does she no longer care about standing up for what is right?”

Secondly, to answer your question: yes, speaking out and doing the right thing matters and makes a difference. And there are three reasons for this:

The principle: to be on the right side of history

Safety of the oppressed (recently, Swifties have been caught committing hate crimes against minorities and doxing Palestinians)

It makes a difference (e.g. donations feed the hungry and poor, awareness leads to better voting outcomes which in turn leads to better policy decisions).

I’ve already spoken about the first point.

The second point is especially relevant following recent events where Swifties have harmed minorities (see below). In this case, it’s important for an influential leader of a powerful fandom to make their stance clear on a genocide so that innocent people don’t get harmed.

And the third point is that activism matters because it creates a real impact. For example, The Weeknd recently donated millions of dollars to families in Gaza which means people who are starving and are victims of genocide can at least be fed. Because Taylor is a billionaire, she has the capacity to spare a few dollars to feed those who are starving like her celebrity peers – Gigi Hadid, The Weeknd, Dua Lipa etc.

This is especially important for Taylor because the IDF and the State of Israel use her and her music in their PR strategies (see their post about her bodyguard on the social media account of Israel). This is similar to when Trump and the Republicans actively used her in their PR strategies and spoke about how much they liked her and so she became a darling of the extreme Right. That was until she came out and said she was against white supremacy and showed public support for the Dems.

Finally, as @placeinthisworld so eloquently put it, “friendly reminder you can love taylor swift but still be critical about her silence about politics and current events because tbh it’s pretty obvious where her values lie now”. Here are other Swiftie’s who are more articulate than me:

Anyway, I hope this answers the question of why her fans (including me) are disappointed in her decision to remain deathly silent on genocide.

#taylor swift #taylorswift #ts #free palestine #lgbtq #lgbtqia #palestine #gaza #activism

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lurkingshan · 7 months

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Once again I'm here because I'm angry. There's been a lot of talk about Boston and what Jojo wanted or not to say about sluts and whatever. I, and other people I think, were struggling with the idea that Jojo would actually want that message out. So I went to see some interviews. And got kinda shocked about one thing that he said. (btw this is an actual quote.) He was talking about Boston reasons for his behaviour Jojo: Bad people don't need to have a backstory. They are just born sluts. A bad character doesn't need... (and then the interviewer says - he doesn't need tragedy to be bad) Exactly. And then he gets asked if he thinks Boston needs redemption and he emphatically says NO. And then talking about how much fun is writing the character he says this: Boston is such a fun character to write. yeah unpredictable he's like, he doesn't care. he doesn't have morals so we just like goes with the flow. bad people? no morals? humm... i don't know... So yeah, now I don't really know what to think about it. I was wondering what are your thoughts about this. I'm still gonna watch some more of this, because I'm a masochist that needs all the information, but yeah, I thought I would share. Thanks for the space

Yiiiiiikes. Okay, first let me preface this by saying that whenever I am reading/watching something that was either translated to English or spoken in English by a person with a different first language, I try not to get too hung up on specific word choice. By necessity we tend to go for the simplest possible words to convey meaning in those situations, and thus a lot of nuance gets stripped out.

That said, the sentiment is clear: Jojo saw Boston as a villain character without a moral code that he could deploy to cause chaos wherever he liked in the story. And he is definitely conflating his villainy with sexual promiscuity, which is the worst part of this quote and unfortunately aligns with the way that finale, and ultimately the themes of the show, were written. It definitely makes me side eye Jojo and as I’ve already said, I won’t be so inclined to trust him nearly as much next time.

Only Friends, however, has more than one writer, and I don’t think they all see it this way. If you think Boston is purely an irredeemable slut, you don’t write his breakup and reunion with Nick in the way that this show did. You don’t give depth to his situation with Atom. You don’t show his sincere emotion, his hurt, and his earnest desire to be with Nick while he can. With all the info we have now and in retrospect, it kind of feels like there was a bit of a tug-o-war going on with Boston’s story.

My understanding is that Den Panuwat, one of three writers on the show, is the one who adapted the novel version of the story, and there he changed Boston’s final arc significantly. Rather than Boston fucking Atom, he made his final conflict about his dad’s political career with Boston’s sexuality being used as a weapon against him. He wrote Boston and Nick ending on good terms. And he wrote a final chapter for Boston where he arrives in New York, finds a more accepting society and queer community who accept and understand him, and thrives.

I’m sure there were some non-artistic reasons why we couldn’t get this version of the story in the show (the politics story was likely vetoed for censorship reasons and they probably couldn’t afford to show us Boston in NY, for example), but the fact that Den wrote it signals that his perspective on Boston is not fully aligned with what Jojo said in that quote above. Perhaps we have him to thank for the empathetic portrayal and humanity we did see in Boston despite Jojo’s perspective on him. And Den has another show coming soon, so maybe we’ll see a clearer read of his own perspective on queer sexual politics without the GMMTV restrictions when we watch Playboyy.

#only friends the series #playboyy the series #thai bl #shan answers

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nymphadora7 · 1 year

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yuri and kitty make sense. it did not come out of nowhere. the rom com meet cute? all of the tension while yuri was “dating” dae and how easily that tension transfers to romantic tension after kitty’s dream? that doesn’t come out of nowhere. kitty and yuri in the beginning of the show are two people who are at odds but don’t really want to be at odds. once the dae situation is mostly resolved, they become fast friends, which it’s foreshadowed they can be in episode 1. moreover, kitty has been with dae since she was 12. she clearly has been focused on him and not herself, and her interest in yuri is allowed to flourish because she is not with dae when it begins. she does not think she will be with dae. and she is in fact actively looking for someone to kiss. moreover, even if it was out of nowhere (which it isn’t) kitty is 17 (16?). at that age, crushes appear out of nowhere all. the. time. and while it might not have been the best idea to tell yuri about her feelings, kitty thought she would never see her again. sometimes the right thing for you, the thing that will let you keep going, is going to hurt someone else. doesn’t make it okay, just is. and on top of that, she didn’t fully confess anyway. and kitty’s not known for making good decisions, since literally the first tatbilb movie. it’s up to yuri now to decide what to do with this information. she clearly has wanted juliana to come back, and it is unlikely she will drop juliana because of kitty’s aborted confession. additionally, the few times we’ve seen juliana have been 1) the flashback, 2) the kiss in the janitor’s closet (neither of which reveal much about her), 3) the phone call in the tent, 4) the phone call in kitty/yuri/q’s room, and 5) the scene at the airport. in 2 and 3, juliana seems to have resigned herself to a life without yuri, and seems honestly shocked that yuri cared enough to go to such lengths to find her. what does that say about what juliana thinks of the relationship that yuri is so invested in? in 4 and 5, 4 explicitly, juliana is worried about yuri’s friendship with kitty, and jealous of it, and pushes the fact that she doesn’t quite trust yuri’s telling her the truth about the platonic nature of their friendship. to be clear, i have absolutely nothing against juliana. i am interested and curious to see her as a full character in season 2, and i do, in fact, desperately hope that they do not villainize a black queer female character. on the other hand, black queer women can be toxic partners. limiting othered people to only heroic, savior-like, positive roles, is also not great. and exhibiting jealous and mistrusting behavior already when we have so few, brief scenes of her is to me an orange flag. i’m not worried about it yet, but i have noticed it. and often, people who imply that they don’t trust their partner not to cheat, have already cheated themselves. once again, i hope this is untrue, i hope i’m wrong. finally, kitty was not in the right to almost confess to yuri, but it is not the cardinal sin some people are pretending it is. yuri and juliana may continue, they may not. whatever happens, it won’t be kitty’s fault. it is not inherently homophobic if you don’t ship kittyuri, or if you ship minty. it is homophobic to perpetuate this idea that the ship came out of nowhere simply because you don’t ship it and have refused to see what the show is explicitly showing.

in this same vein, min ho and kitty make sense. it did not come out of nowhere. and while min ho might not have had the best timing with telling kitty his feelings, he did in fact wait until he had confirmation that she was no longer with dae. he might have said something further had the PA not interrupted, but he did not appear to expect anything from her in return after he told her (just as kitty did not appear to expect anything in return from yuri when she almost confessed). kitty is shocked, but very clearly not upset about the information. to us, it is clear that min ho has liked kitty for a while, probably longer than he knew or let on. sometimes so called “hatred” for someone is genuinely that, but as demonstrated in xo kitty, it is often the exact opposite. (i am of course talking about disliking someone interpersonally for muddled reasons, not disliking someone for genuine reasons, i.e. they’re a harmful person.) dislike for someone is often based on someone protecting themselves for whatever reason. based on all that we know about min ho, he has a lot of family related issues, and a lot of reason to put up walls in order to protect himself. he is initially “anti-kitty” because he thinks dae should explore his options with someone he is in the same country with and then because he thinks yuri is a better option. a lot of this quite clearly stems from the way he was raised, the fact that his father is on wife #3, and the classism that very much exists in korea (as it does in many places) and honestly probably because kitty is half-white (i am not saying there is racism against white people, there isn’t. i’m saying that there is often unfortunate biases against mixed kids from both/all of their communities). in the chuseok episode, he says “my parents thought they were true love, and then had the messiest divorce ever” (or something to that effect). that line is so telling: min ho doesn’t believe in true love, or maybe even love at all. he looks at it as transactional, what can i get from them and what can they get from me? it’s evident in his failed (i think?) tryst with the k pop star whose name is escaping me, and in his situationship with madison. but spending so much time around kitty specifically changes his mind about these things. slowly, at first, and then much more rapidly. he’s still cocky, arrogant min ho, but he chills out a lot over those first few episodes. i think he appreciates that kitty actually responds to his teasing and one ups him oftentimes. and when he calls her his saesang, it’s so funny bc he is so clearly the one obsessed with her at all times throughout season 1. also, the dream happens after the chuseok episode, where they noticeably get closer. there is buildup! he thinks she’s beautiful when she enters his party, and is actively trying to resist his crush on her (because he thinks he shouldn’t have a crush on his friend’s girlfriend) when he reacts to it being her. he respects that he thinks she and dae are still into each other and moves his attention to madison. he knows her order in the detention episode. he is upset for her when he finds out yuri and dae lied. he saves her from the fireworks. he does not fight back against dae after dae attacks him because he thinks dae has the right to. he looks visibly shattered when kitty says min ho isn’t the one she was talking about. also, min ho would not have made the effort to sweet talk some flight attendant to find kitty’s seat and sit in coach because of nothing.

with both kittyuri, and with minty, they are one sided crushes (at least at the moment) with potential to be reciprocated, and i think people are misinterpreting them because of that. neither of them came out of nowhere, neither of them are toxic, and neither of the two ships involving teenagers include characters who are morally bad.

in conclusion, let people ship things. ship things yourself! and most of all, do not take things that seriously. shipping should never be a war. even if you personally don’t like a ship, it is shitty to go and actively hate the ship, especially if the ship is not doing you any harm, especially if you go into the positive spaces for that ship to spread your hate. if you don’t ship something, do not interact with content for that ship. it is not that hard. it is 2023, not 2013. ship whatever the hell you want.

#xo kitty #xo kitty spoiler #xo kitty spoilers #spoilers #spoiler #kittyuri #minty #kitty x yuri #yuri x kitty #min ho x kitty #kitty x min ho #kitty song covey #yuri han #min ho

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twopoppies · 2 months

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hiii gina did you see this? it’s everything we’ve been saying that happens in this industry https://www.gaytimes.co.uk/originals/matt-terry-the-x-factor-coming-out-interview/

Hi, honey. No, I hadn’t but it really is just the same fucking story over and over, isn’t it? It’s disgusting. And it all sounds so familiar. 😡

GT: Coming to terms with your identity is one thing, but you had to go through that process on one of the UK’s most-watched shows, with various publications then questioning your sexuality. At the age of 23, too. What was that time like for you?

MT: I’m smiling because I feel like I’m finally getting this off my shoulders. I’m a Taurus, so I do everything by myself: ‘I’m strong, I can handle it.’ But, it was so f**king hard, I’m not going to lie. Any comment I saw or heard, any tweets, my heart would drop and I would immediately break into a sweat. I went on the show because I love to sing. I didn’t want to be – it sounds so silly – famous. I’m not here for that. I want to dedicate my life to my passion and my art, which is songwriting and my voice. I went on the show because I had £4 in my bank account, and I didn’t want to be a waiter anymore. When I won, I never thought about what would happen. I didn’t think ahead. I never thought about the press or my sexuality or, ‘What am I gonna tell people?’ The paparazzi would always write ‘Matt Terry kisses male outside pub’ or ‘Matt Terry likes Tom Daley’s Instagram picture.’ I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I hadn’t spoken to my family. I hadn’t spoken to my friends. It was getting on top of me.

Also, I had the pressure of delivering a number-one album, otherwise I’d be a failure. The team I had – I’ll say it – weren’t the best. I don’t think we understood each other very well. I had a manager who… I won’t name names, but bear in mind, I was new. She was like, ‘You need to tell me now – are you or aren’t you gay? I’ve got the whole industry right now asking about you. I’m here defending you, telling them no. If it turns out you are, I’m going to have a massive egg on my face because of you.’ I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. There was no one there to protect or help me. I was like, ‘Okay, I see what’s happening here.’ And that’s when I decided that [my sexuality] is for me. That’s when I said, ‘I’m going to take a step back. I will let you in when I know who I am.’ So, I privately came away from the industry, and lots of people have been like, ‘Where have you been?’ I’ve been discovering who I am as a human and as an artist. This is me taking back control.

[…]

GT: My first reaction to your manager’s comments was to laugh, because it’s almost like a parody of a fictional villain. But, as we’ve seen, these people still exist – and not just in the industry. Celebrities are still having to confirm or deny whether they’re straight or queer because ‘fans’ are demanding to know.

MT: Like with Kit Connor. The whole thing was just a disappointment. We all watched Heartstopper. If you understand the show, you wouldn’t be prodding him about his sexuality.

[…]

With my first album, there were girls in the music videos. I remember turning up on set and the label saying, ‘Here, pick one of these girls as the love interest.’ I’m looking at headshots of all these beautiful girls and I thought, ‘Did I even imagine a girl in this? Or did I imagine a man?’ Before you know it, I’m in music videos snogging women.

I have prepared myself for support and love, but I’ve also prepared for homophobia. I will have some unfollows, but I don’t care. I would rather have 200 followers that love me than 200,000 followers that are homophobic.

youtube

Full interview here

#Matt Terry #Gay times #celebrity coming out #closeting #music industry #copy of a copy of a copy isn’t it?

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cl34rb3ll · 6 months

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james somerton apology video is so interesting to me

-he said he didn’t mean for the misinfo to end up on the channel? like oops? i said a blatant lie! my bad idk how that happened

-thanking hbomber for setting up the fund for “those who were wronged” (james somerton, deleted apology video) i know this is nitpicky but his language keeps shifting the blame from himself. he won’t say “i didn’t credit them” or “i wronged them” like james. they didn’t just HAPPEN to have their work stolen. the universe didn’t intervene and force their work uncredited into your videos YOU stole from them YOU wronged them.

-“i’m not trying to make this a sob story” (james somerton, deleted apology video) then bringing up the bad things happening to him. like. i don’t feel bad that your friends left you for being a thief profiting off the work you stole from queer people. i also just. don’t care. like, i really do hope that he gets help for his mental health. i hope he gets better and he goes to a class on MLA or something. i really do not want him to die. but thats not what this is about. this is about the people he hurt, not the fact that the consequences of his own actions have impacted his mental health.

-refusing to give actual numbers to his income. just saying that people were over estimating. normally peoples income is none of my business but he was profiting off stolen work and is substantial evidence to lead people to believe he was lying about his financial situation to get money from fans.

-there were plenty [of videos] that didn’t have any uncredited stuff in them” (james somerton, deleted apology video) i’m starting to think james didn’t watch the video😨

-side note i don’t understand how this man could go to university and not understand proper citation???

-him saying that him hating women just isn’t true??? then why did he say all that shit??? like bro? you can just admit that you were misogynistic. you can say that. you can say “i was misogynistic, i said misogynistic things, i didn’t understand that i was wrong but i am trying to be better and re-evaluate my views” dude, i’m female (ftm tho, he/him only!) and i still have to occasionally catch myself when i think something misogynistic, despite literally being a victim of misogyny. just be better, don’t pretend you were never wrong. also him saying that he doesn’t think those things, that they were just writing videos too fast? misogyny doesn’t just End Up in your videos because you wrote too fast?? it has to come from somewhere?

-he says that he never wrote misinformation but he also says he isn’t trying to throw nick under the bus, that him and nick are 50/50 partners? which is it?

#james somerton

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mitamicah · 3 months

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An aromantic autistic reading of Joker Out's "Bluza"/"the Blouse"

I have a few words about Bluza. The Blouse.

When I first heard the title, I felt a connection to this song yet in a very tongue-in-cheek way. Because I read the working title was a nod to the white holed sweater blouse (the slut shirt) Bojan forgot at Jere’s place last autumn. But then thanks to JokerOutSubs I realized that this song really speaks to me in another way.

Disclaimer: I am speaking about this from an autistic aroace point of view and as a person who has masked most their lives and doesn’t drink. I hope to explain why this matters in the post below.

The lines that especially spoke to me are these: Ja ko pijana budala Ali čaše nisam popio Jamislim da sam se zaljubio u tebe

I’m acting like a drunk idiot But I haven’t had a single glass I think I’ve fallen in love with you

As a person who has spend most my life being critical about what to say, do, and how I show of myself to people I see the drunkenness described here not as literal but as a form of unmasking. When you find that one person you feel so comfortable around that you know that they won’t leave you or care if you stop being presentable in the eyes of society.

The result is that you may seem drunk and out of character when you are close to them. Drunk as in unlike yourself but also much more yourself. You dare to be authentic and to be silly and vulnerable because this person next to you gets you. No alcohol you could consume would fill you with as much giddiness as being with this person does. There is something about this one person that just speaks to you and let you know that you are safe.

While not having been drunk myself this is what I expect is the feeling most drunk people are searching for: the experience of not caring about what other people might think about them anymore. They just exist outside time and space in a bubble of bliss.

The person in the song is that for Bojan. His bubble of bliss – his safe space.

I’ve been lucky enough to have people like that too for small periods of time. And just like the next line I have felt very strongly connected to the person in those moments thinking “is this was love feels like?”. And here I don’t necessarily mean romantic attraction/love. I mean love as in a deeper, more profound level. The love that is outside of bodily desire. It is two spirits – two beings finding a home in the other person. A home where you can be giddy and drunk without having touch a single drink.

It is no secret that I love the idea of queer platonic love. When I read this, I read it as queer platonic. I read it as beautifully strange, brotherly, romantic, and platonic all at once.

The chorus kind of develops this feeling and adds and aromantic layer to it: Baš ja Koji nisam verovao Da za nekim biću lud

Yes, me who didn’t believe I would be crazy about someone

I read this as a very much an aspec experience.

You may have gone most of your life feeling othered for not experiencing those feelings of romantic attraction the world around you constantly tell you that you should.

Then this person comes along. This person that is your haven, that you can fool around with and open up around. There’s something that seems different, seems honest and so it brings you that feeling of bliss I mentioned earlier. That feeling the world around you have tried to tell you exists for years, yet you never believed would happen to you.

You may have believed yourself to be broken or maybe the world around you too much for seemingly being crazy about love. But now in this moment of bliss, drunk without having drunk, you get it. You want to be with this person, do all the silly things the media tells you are romantic. Not because you are forced to but because it would mean spending more time with your person. And every little second you can spend with your person feels like a blessing.

That is my take on the song at least. Thank you for reading.

#my first try making an analysis that I can remember so please be kind #I just couldn't stop thinking about it #almost cried when I read the lyrics #and this may just be a sappy song idk but it spoke to me this way #so I offer you my aro and ausitic reading of it it here #thank you to jokeroutsubs for the quick translation that gave me the chance to babble about this song #I feel so honored having been in the crowd that heard it the first time live :'3 #I really adore sta bih ja too but mostly for how catchy it is #it is pretty as well when you know the lyrics #but this prechorus chorus just spoke to my aching queer platonic aro heart #okay I am done venting now #joker out #bluza #the blouse #mine #micahs thoughts

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