-not teenage indian girls crushing madly after british men (both real and imaginary) after their ancestors spent two centuries trying to ditch the british hold on their country-
Something I've done to motivate myself is make myself seem bigger. I tell myself I'm not a normal person, I'm Marilyn Monroe. Marilyn Monroe isn't afraid of public speaking.
When that doesn't work I'm Regina George. And would Regina George run away from confrontation? Naur.
Sometimes I'm Rory Gilmore, and I'm studying for hours with Marina playing in the background. But I can also be Blair Waldorf, Elle Woods, and any other amazing woman I need to be in order to remind myself that medicine isn't something I can tolerate.
There is just something so ethereally magical and special about early mornings alone
I'm driving through the dark along abandoned small town suburban main road, past darkened strip malls and empty traffic light intersections. I've had a nice upper body workout, a relaxing massage chair + Calm meditation session, I'm sipping my boba milk tea protein drink...a hot shower and comfy baggy clothes for the drive home...
I'm winding down the roads, no cars on the road except for lone travelers and 3rd shifts heading home...passing a family of deer near the local horse farm. I slow down, roll down my window and greet them. I'm energized, but relaxed. Lo-fi hip hop chill beats play on my Spotify playlist, via a Bluetooth radio setup connected to my phone, the sunrise is still hiding beyond the horizon.
I'm high, free, relaxed, accomplished.
I arrive in my room, greeted ecstatically by Zero who was burrowed under the blankets on my bed as usual. It's not freezing cold out anymore, so a little sweater on Zero and a light jacket is enough for us to go for a short walk around the neighborhood. I'd forgotten how much I missed morning walks before work with him, even though he comes to work with me every day now.
When we get back home, I make a warm cup of tea, get changed and dressed for work, do my hair and makeup, and then get back into bed to snuggle with Zero under the covers for a power nap.
When we get up, I feel well rested and ready for the day. Zero hops into the car and looks proudly from his perch between the driver and passenger seat as we head in to work. I arrive on time, I log in, check the emails and reports to catch up, and then make us our breakfasts.
It's warm with a little space heater under my desk and a puppy dog in my lap, and just some paperwork to do this morning on the computer.
If this job paid me 8$ per hour more, I would probably be content. I could probably give up my dream of law school and a masters degree, and focus all my energy on doing things I like and having fun and just living...
At least I have all this free time at work and a healthy work-life balance. I can survive off the bare minimum if I have to, for a little while.