#i am yelling. for 5 million years. holy fucking shit.

[orcelito]

I finished critical role Calamity

I will never be the same

#speculation nation #my head hurts from crying so much hfkshfkdhckdh #and yes i did end up crying again #this piece of media joins Tales of Xillia 2 as being the only 2 pieces of media that have ever made me cry twice #i legit had to get a napkin to blow my nose bc i just kept Crying in that last bit #thing after thing after thing. the pieces falling together as they did. ohhhhh my goddddd #face. in my hands. i have so many thoughts and feelings. oh my godddd #i definitely made the right decision to save watching this for when i was emotionally sound enough #& prepared to deal with the heartbreak of it. 6 fuckin months. #but i watched it and im so glad i did. bc that was just. so so so so good #masterful. it was Masterful. #im genuine scared of Brennan after that hfkshkfd but also hes so fucking good at what he does. hooooly shit. #bro really went 'you want me to dm the calamity? okay!' WHAM just hitting us in all the places that hurt #i am taking some Pointers from him as a chronic angst writer let me tell you #and just. aaaghhhhhhgnndncjskc i need to go to sleep bc my.head Hurts. but this was. so so so good #i am yelling. for 5 million years. holy fucking shit.

[kfedup]

Friday fiver

1. I got lost down the endless rabbit hole of researching my best options for gaining more credentials this week. Lort, this truly is my one major regret in this life - not finishing my BA. Even more than the failed marriages. I looked at dozens of online programs to finish and am up against the fact that around half of my 62 earned credits will transfer. No way am I going to sign up for 3 years to finish this thing because I’m a single woman, sole earner, and It’ll take me twice that amount of time or more. Fuck no I’m not re-taking general education courses when I’ve been a working professional for 30 years. Yet... I want a director role. I can execute a director role. I HAD a director role, but at a small, boutique agency run by people who pulled it all out of their asses on the daily. I rocked it, but it doesn’t play out in the real world, apparently. 

2. So, I am now working through the online Google Project Management Certificate program to add to my credentials in a more affordable way. One minute i’m excited and hopeful that doing this will make me more attractive to hiring managers. The next minute I’m certain it’s pointless and the only thing that will matter is a degree I just can’t make myself earn if those are the terms. I’ll probably do the Data Analytics Certificate next. Then look for a leadership cert. Why am I like this? 

3. The ten day forecast is rain. It’s raining now. The dog refuses to go out and also yells at me to go out. I should put some grass seed down tomorrow. But will I? 

4. The pilates coaching is profoundly changing my way of being in my body. Holy shit. I’m seven weeks into doing a morning yoga/pilates flow (missed a few days, but nearly every day) and I noticed this week I can get up off the floor without having to grab onto something three different times along the way. So this is the benefit of core strength people have been telling me about my whole life. All those millions of crunches I did improperly that didn’t do much of anything... Now it’s the most subtle movements and I’m getting strong. I fucking love this. 

5. I started using Notion a few weeks ago. It’s a pretty steep learning curve, and for the first week I felt like I was spinning my mental wheels in mud, but it’s starting to make sense now. I’m trying the Second Brain method of organizing my life and tasks and am really enjoying the way connections are happening.

#look at me learning new things #I cannot spend any more time in stagnation #enough is enough #time is swirling the drain #yo

[jackrrabbit]

🤍 Haikyuu WIP excerpts

preview post for hq because recently i showed sara a list of my works in progress and she laughed at me and then made a dn joke like this is 2015 or something. we got:

🤍 communal property /// ushijima x f!reader x tendou 🤍 sunshower /// atsumu x f!reader x osamu 🤍 corporate ethics /// kuroo x f!reader

anyway these are all terrible first drafts and i'm not sorry. however i am very very into these pieces and if you're interested in seeing them finished, you should tell me fr fr

🤍 communal property /// Ushijima x f!Reader x Tendou

Summary: Tendou shares everything with Ushijima—his food, his dorm room, even the AVs he likes. Why not his girlfriend, too?

Tags/warnings: poly relationship in progress (only you and Tendou are dating at this point), mild suggestiveness ??, s*ze k*nk

Status: 10k words written (holy fuck lol) out of ~11k total? this bitch better get finished is2g

After the match, your voice is hoarse from screaming but you still manage to yell congratulations for your boyfriend when you meet him and Ushijima outside the locker room in the stadium. You’re pumped on the adrenaline of the game, so you don’t even protest like you usually would when Tendou picks you up in the middle of your hug and lifts you off the ground effortlessly. “How was I? Awesome, right? I told you we would beat them!”

“You did, you so did—“ Even though your throat hurts, you can’t help gushing about every rally, every soul-crushing block, every impossible spike. “—and then the guy on the left thought he was clear to shoot it but you just—“ You throw your arms in the air and mime hitting the ball down like a blocker. “Wha-bam!—and the look on his face! I thought he was going to punch you!”

Tendou laughs and lays a sloppy kiss on your cheek, just as thrilled as you are by the win. “You really liked it that much? I thought you weren’t into sports.”

“I loved it! You were so cool! I can’t believe I’m dating someone so cool!” You wrap your legs around his back and hug his face close to yours, reveling in the fact that this weirdo belongs to you wholly and entirely, that you get to have him to yourself (well, other than his roommate). “And I’m not into sports, I’m into you.”

Tendou smiles in a way that makes the sides of his eyes crinkle up and little red patches bloom over his cheeks, a look that says, I like you so much (Y/N), I like you I like you I like you, except he’s probably trying not to be mushy like that since Ushijima is standing off to the side.

You feel a little bad for ignoring him (no one likes being the third wheel, even if he never shows signs of caring) so when Tendou sets you down you turn to Ushijima. “And you! Holy shit, Tendou said you were good, but I didn’t know you were that good. The ball when you hit it was super loud—honestly, how are your hands okay? If I hit it that hard I’d probably break something.”

“My hands are fine…this is normal for me.”

But just because you’ve got them here in front of you and you’re still pumped from the exhilaration of the win, you can’t help grabbing Ushijima’s hand and flipping it palm-up to inspect. True to his word, there’s no redness, just the calluses he’s built up on his long fingers. “Wow.”

“You don’t need to worry about Wakatoshi,” Tendou tells you, grinning and then making a face. “He’s a monster, he can handle it.”

“No kidding. You’re both monsters.” You put the base of your palm up against Ushijima’s to gauge the size of his hand against yours, and without prompting Tendou grabs your other hand to press against his own. Tendou’s fingers are a bit longer, but Ushijima’s are…thicker, more solid. Your hands look like a little kid’s in comparison. “Can I be honest? Half the time I was thinking I actually feel bad for the other team. If I had to take on both of you at the same time, I’d probably cry.”

You’re (mostly) joking, but it’s still a complete shock when you see the side of Ushijima’s mouth curl up a tiny bit. You’ve known each other for months at this point, but you’ve never seen him smile until now. Half of you is wondering if this is some kind of optical illusion caused by the atmosphere and the dim light of the stadium cutting through the evening, but the other half of you enjoys it. You made Ushijima smile. You did that.

“Don’t sell yourself short, (Y/N).” Ushijima says, tipping his head to the side.

“Yeah!” Tendou chimes in, resting his chin on top of your head and folding his arms around your neck from his place behind you. “I’m sure you could take both of us. Right, Wakatoshi?”

So that’s probably a sign.

🤍 sunshower /// Atsumu x f!Reader x Osamu

Summary: [Kitsune AU] You find an old Ō-Inari shrine in the woods that may not be as abandoned as it looks.

Tags/warnings: Shinto religion, this preview is biased toward tsumu oops, yearning/soft vibes

Status: 3.9k words written out of 5–6k? total

Atsumu was the one who found you.

That’s how he likes to talk about it, that he found you, like you’d still be wandering around lost in the woods if it weren’t for him. Osamu thinks you would have found your way back home eventually but Atsumu likes it better this way, this framing that makes it seem like they saved you.

It’s hard for him to tell time linearly the way humans do but you mention once that you’ve known them for a year and that seems to fit. It’s spring now, almost barely tipping into summer, and it was spring when Atsumu found you. He remembers because of the way it was raining: light and tender, a summer rain early in the season, each little drop tapping off a leaf and then rolling into the forest bed to be eaten up by the grass and the soil.

Atsumu likes the rain, likes the sweet earthy smell it makes and the way the plants look so lush and green and alive, like they’d bleed if he sunk his teeth into them. He was out in the woods because of the rain ('Samu was in the shrine, as usual, attempting to set buckets under the millions of holes in the roof so the rainwater wouldn’t pool and rot through the wood underneath). But Atsumu was half asleep in a tree when he heard you crashing through the undergrowth, tripping over ferns and snapping every twig in your path (thought ya might be a bear, he tells you later, that’s how loud ya were) but he wouldn’t really have woken up if he hadn’t heard you singing.

(The odd thing is, you weren’t actually singing. You remember that day as vividly as they do: the warm, humid air making your skin feel sticky under your yellow raincoat; the tiny raindrops filtering through the canopy and kissing your cheeks; the ink feathering out on the damp xerox of the old map you found in your great-aunt’s attic so you could barely make out the “X” that was supposed to mark the location of the lost Inari shrine… You were cursing how stupid you’d been to go on a wild goose chase into the mountains with no cell service and no marked trail to look for a shrine that no one had seen in decades. You definitely weren’t singing.)

But Atsumu remembers it differently. No matter how many times you explain that you were just talking to yourself, when he replays the sound of your voice back then (reaching and lilting and falling, the way the birds talk to each other in the early morning, except the music of it was poured into syllables and words), it sounds like you’re singing. He wasn’t sure at first, hadn’t heard a voice that wasn’t Osamu’s in so many years that he gets tired counting them, but then he saw you push into view from between two bushes and he thought, a human!

A girl, too—it was hard to say at first because you were wearing that weird, slick jacket of yours, so bright yellow it was like an oversized flower blooming out of the grass, but then you tilted your head up to feel the rain on your face and the hood fell down and he knew. Not just a human, a girl! Atsumu wanted to yell for Osamu, make him come and confirm that there was a person wandering around not a mile from the shrine. A real person! Singing and smiling and wiping the rain off her cheeks (does that mean you like the rain, just like he does? did you come out to feel it too?) But he also wanted to surprise Osamu so he hid his tails and his ears and came down from the tree and asked if you had lost your way in the forest, since you were so far from any path…

When you think back on this yourself you’re amazed that you just went with him: a strange boy (man?) wearing a fox mask and traditional Shinto priest robes, which were somehow pristine white and red despite him having appeared from nowhere in the middle of a dense forest, who told you he had no idea what direction the village was but he could take you to the Inari shrine you’d been searching for…well. Maybe you were too surprised to be wary, or maybe you were just exhausted and lost. But you like to think you had a sense of it even then, the irrational belief that the boy in the woods was not just a boy in the woods.

Atsumu thinks you knew. Humans always understand, even when they try not to… He remembers, he took your hand that day in the forest and you saw that the claws on his fingers were too long to be human, and you said nothing because on some level you already felt it. Your skin was cool then, smooth and damp from the rain; he wanted to stop, run his hands up your arms, touch the places on your face where your mouth had been turned up at the corners and press his fingers into your cheeks.

🤍 corporate ethics /// Kuroo x f!Reader

Summary: [Office AU] The new junior marketing associate just happens to be Kuroo’s favorite camgirl, and he’s having trouble keeping his hands to himself.

Tags/Warnings: boss/employee, businessman!Kuroo as a reformed player, camgirl reader, this excerpt has a lil bit of 18+ content 👀

Status: 1.2k words written out of 4k? words total

Kuroo doesn’t watch porn.

It’s not, like, a moral principle or something. He has nothing against pornography. As far as he knows, it’s perfectly normal for single men. He just doesn’t like it…unless it’s you.

When he was in school it was easy. Being a teenager meant being so flooded with hormones that a warm breeze could get him up, and the adrenaline rush of winning a game was better than any big-titted porn actress faking moans into a shit-quality boom mic. Sure, he watched porn back then (what teenage boy didn’t?), but it was more out of curiosity than necessity. It was all kind of a mystery at that point, the way it can only be when you’re a clueless virgin and you and all your friends are too busy practicing for the next game to get girls.

Somehow Bokuto was the first one in their friend group to lose his virginity, and the memory of the dumbass self-consciously describing the experience has been lodged in Kuroo’s brain for the 10+ years since. “It was…I don’t know. She smelled good. You know how girls always smell good?” Bokuto’s hands twitched and his face was pink. “It’s just really…soft.”

Soft was right, Kuroo would reflect when he got laid for the first time a few months later. Soft, warm, wet. Sex was awkward at first, but before he knew it it was more natural than breathing.

It didn’t change much after high school, either. He didn’t get into volleyball for the groupies, but they didn’t hurt. There were girls when he played for his college team, more girls when he joined a business frat, so many girls he couldn’t keep track…they blurred together after a while. It didn’t take effort. You don’t need game when you’re 6’2 and you’re in the gym 40 hours a week, and you definitely don’t need porn.

So he never got into it. Now that he’s promoting volleyball instead of playing, things are more complicated. Kuroo’s never been the type who expects things to fall in his lap, but there are so many rules when it comes to dating in the real world. Good morning texts, anniversaries, flowers, parents. It’s exhausting. One time—seriously, just one time—Kuroo misses his girlfriend’s birthday to go watch a Jackals game, and the next time he sees her she throws her drink on him in public and keys his car. After that, Kuroo decides that until he’s ready to settle down there will be no more girlfriends. Which means no more reliable sex. Which means resorting to porn.

Which means you.

You, batting your eyelashes at the camera and biting the side of your lip. You, purring and mewing like a kitten. You, lying back on your pretty pink bedsheets in your pretty pink lingerie, sliding your hands between your legs. It takes Kuroo a full month to decide to pay for access to your website (Kenma’s unsolicited recommendation) but it takes less than five minutes for him to upgrade access to premium. You look like a wet dream—no, you look like the centerfold of every dirty magazine Kuroo managed to get his hands on when he was younger. Pristine and alluring and so deliciously out of reach.

And you make it so simple. No delicate emotional games with rules Kuroo never bothered to learn. No pretending to care how your day was. You untie the little bows on the side of your panties and lick your fingers and Kuroo just has to take his dick out and watch you. Getting off hasn’t been this easy for him since college. You’re a camgirl, you exist on his computer screen, and that’s how he likes it.

Which makes it a lot more awkward when Kuroo finds out that the only woman he’s gotten off to in the past…year, maybe?…somehow just got hired in JVA’s sports promotion department as his junior associate.

Your prim work blouse is buttoned up to the collar and your makeup is different, but he knows it’s you. You have to tell him your name twice because he’s too stunned to respond the first time, and even then he can’t summon up more of a response than a curt nod because his mouth tastes like dirt.

You smile a little awkwardly at his cool reception, and the hand you’d extended out to shake swings back down to your side. “Um, the guy at HR said he sent up my info yesterday…I’ll be working directly underneath you?”

Directly underneath me. Kuroo is taking a sip of his coffee when you say this. He doesn’t spit it out, but it’s close.

#haikyuu x reader #ushijima x reader #tendou x reader #atsumu x reader #osamu x reader #kuroo x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #tendou satori x reader #atsumu miya x reader #osamu miya x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #haikyuu imagines

[hispipsqueak]

Happy New Year

Bakugo x F! Pregnant Reader Fluff

Summary:

You and Bakugo have been keeping a secret, and plan to reveal it at your New Year’s Party.

A/N: Here’s some sweet fluff to end the year. I have a soft spot for Dad!Bakugo and had to write something adorable for him. I hope you enjoy it and your new year is full of happiness and love! Also, I had to look up so much stuff about pregnancy. I hope no one finds my search history :P

TW: Pregnancy. mild cursing. Otherwise, super mega fluffy!

“Why do they have to come over?!” Bakugo grumbled for the thirtieth time. 

You looked up from the pan you were currently scrubbing. 

“Katsuki...they’re our friends! Plus, we are going to announce the big news.” You looked down at your small baby bump.

You and Bakugo had found out you were going to be parents nearly 5 months ago and you both were extremely excited. You had waited to tell everyone until it was deemed safe by your doctor and with the new year approaching, you figured it would be easy to gather everyone you loved to spill the news.

Of course, Bakugo was going to make it difficult though. 

You knew he was just as excited as you about the addition to your little family, but whereas you were open about discussing all your fears, thoughts, and anxieties, Bakugo was a little more closed off and channeled the extra stress into other things.

You went back to washing the dishes and felt your husband’s biceps wrap around your body, his hands softly resting on your belly. He nuzzled into your neck.

“We could just send a text and stay in together. Watch the fireworks from the balcony, relax. Plus, are you sure you want those loud idiots stressing you and the baby out?” He murmured into your ear.

You giggled and swatted him with the dish rag. 

“I literally live with a walking explosion and you’re worried our friends are too loud? I mean sure, maybe Present Mic, but I doubt he doesn’t already have plans.” You trailed off, before he spun you around and lifted you up, bridal style.

“That’s enough, off to bed with you mama. You’re too snappy tonight and clearly not thinking straight.” He chuckled as you squealed into his chest.

“‘Tsuki, you’re so annoying!” You laughed as he gently tossed you into bed.

He crawled on top of you, pressing your body into the soft mattress and mountains of pillows you insisted on sleeping with.

“I may be annoying, but I’m also the father of this little brat inside you.” He muttered, vermillion eyes shining. You smiled up at him.

He had grown up a lot since your UA days. While he still had his hot-headed moments, he was playful and more considerate of your feelings and you knew he was going to be an amazing father. He even changed his screensaver on his phone to your sonogram, though he would never admit it. 

“We’re gonna have fun, babe. It’s gonna be a good night with all our friends and we can finally be open about the baby. Plus, it’d be nice for our kid to meet all their aunts and uncles.” You grinned, thinking of how your friends would react to this.

Katsuki groaned, rolling over. “Kiri is gonna fucking cry, I know it.” 

You laughed and curled up next Bakugo. 

“Yeah...probably.”

-------

New Year’s Eve was finally here. You had been busy preparing everything for the party tonight and your heart fluttered at the idea of sharing your big news with everyone. Bakugo had to finish up some last minute stuff at the agency so he was going to be home right before the party began. You were pulling another tray of baked sweets out of the oven when your phone chirped.

You glanced over to see another message from your group chat with the girls.

Mina: Can’t wait to see you Y/N, I MISS YOU

Momo: Are you sure you don’t need us to bring anything? We don’t want to be bad guests.

Ochaco: We can also help set up if you need us to! 

Y/N: I’m totally fine. Katsuki arranged for food to be delivered and Sero and Kirishima are picking up all the drinks for tonight. Just bring yourselves!

Y/N: Also yes, before you ask, I am making cookies.

Mina: HECK YES! :)

They started arranging transportation plans and you clicked your phone off, to focus on transferring the cookies onto a cooling tray. Once that was settled, you jogged upstairs to get dressed. Luckily, you weren’t really showing yet so your friends wouldn’t immediately know when you greeted them, but you still wanted to wear something loose and flowy.

You settled on a deep red dress that cinched right under your chest and opened in an A-line skirt. You rifled through your jewelry box until you found the necklace Katsuki had given you for your birthday. It was a large black teardrop shaped diamond on a simple thin silver chain. You reached behind your back to clasp the necklace and felt a warm hand enclose yours.

“I didn’t even hear you come in.” You smiled looking at your husband in the mirror. He finished attaching your necklace and met your eyes. 

“I just got here. The food’s here too, so everything’s done. I just need to get dressed.” He said, twirling you around so you were facing him. He rubbed your tiny bump. “How’s the brat been today?”

“Surprisingly chill. Though the baby did require a couple pints of ice cream for breakfast.” You laughed.

“Uh-huh...blame it on the baby.” He chuckled and gave you a kiss on your forehead. You could smell the scent of his body wash, a spicy cinnamon musk combined with his natural caramel scent. He must have showered at the agency and you buried your face in his chest, enveloping yourself in him.

“Stop sniffing me like a dog, crazy woman.” He flicked you on the head and you pouted. He crouched down so he could kiss your belly.

“I’m sorry your mama is nuts.” He laughed before pressing his lips to your stomach. 

You smiled. Though you were excited to tell your friends about the news, you kind of loved having this little secret just between you two. These moments, with just you, Bakugo, and the baby, were magical and felt so...pure. Untainted from anything.

-----

“We’re HERE!” Mina’s voice echoed through your entryway. She was dressed in a gold sparkly jumpsuit and her aura just screamed “Happy New Year”. She was followed by Momo, dressed in a sparkly green dress and Tsu, who wore yellow sundress. Soon the door opened again and Ochaco was ushered in by Deku. You grinned at her blushing face. Her and Deku had finally admitted their feelings for each other after years of pining and they were adorable together. She had on a cute pink knee-length dress that matched Deku’s tie, which contrasted nicely against the dark teal suit he wore.

The rest of your friends piled in slowly afterwards, with Sero and Kirishima carrying cases of booze. You had made sure to stock your house with plenty of non-alcoholic drinks as well but you knew the rest of your friends planned to party hard, since it was rare to all get together.

Once everyone made it in, and Iida stopped arm chopping at Denki for some unknown broken social rule, Kirishima raised his beer.

“Can we just toast to Y/N and Bakubro, for hosting this party? It feels like a million years since I’ve seen you guys.”

You giggled and looked at your husband. He rolled his eyes and looked at you nodding. You turned back to the group.

“Actually, we invited you here because of something else…” You looked down at your belly, and heard gasps.

“ARE YOU…?”

“You’re…?”

“Wait what…?”

Bakugo looked exasperated with the suspense.

“We’re having a baby, idiots.”

A loud cheer erupted from your friends and immediately you were swarmed by the girls, asking a million questions. The guys were clapping Bakugo on the back and as expected Kirishima was already tearing up.

“So manly bro. You’re gonna be the manliest dad!” He sobbed while squeezing Bakugo in a tight hug. Sero and Denki snickered watching this. 

“Get off of me idiot. I’m not the pregnant one.” Bakugo growled trying to pry the redhead off him. Kirishima turned to you and started hugging you tightly. 

“I’m so proud of you guys!”

“You’re proud of them for —”

A ribbon of tape wrapped itself around Kaminari’s mouth before he could finish his sentence. You threw a grateful look toward Sero, who grinned over his beer.

The rest of the night turned into an impromptu baby shower, with everyone fawning over you two. You were asked a zillion questions, everyone offered to babysit, and even Todoroki offered his quirk if you ever needed pain relief (which Bakugo immediately shot down).

“I can take care of my own wife, IcyHot Bastard.” He grunted through his teeth. You smacked Bakugo upside the head before apologizing to Todoroki. You placed your hand back to rest on your belly and felt a small flutter. 

“Holy shit...babe!” You’re mouth dropped. Immediately, the room went quiet and Bakugo rushed to your side. 

“What, what’s wrong??!” He placed his hand on your stomach and his eyes widened.

“The baby...the baby’s kicking.” You smiled, eyes pricking with tears. The two of you looked at each other and you could see tears threatening to spill from your husband’s eyes. He grabbed your face in his hands and kissed you deeply, seeming to forget where he was.

“I love you, I love you both so goddamn much” He whispered to you, before kissing you again. 

“Bro, you’re gonna make her have twins!” Kaminari yelled out, before being smacked in the head by both Mina and Kirishima. You giggled and pulled your husband close to you, before he blasted his friend out of the house. 

“Guys, it’s almost midnight!” Momo said looking at her watch. “Ten…”

“Nine…”

“Eight…”

You looked around at all your cheering friends.

“Seven…”

“Six…”

You looked at your husband, who gave you a soft smile back.

“Five…”

“Four…”

You looked down at your baby bump.

“Three...two...one.”

“Happy New Year!”

#mha fluff #bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #mha x reader #tw pregnancy #dad!bakugou #weebnation #dynamight

[i-am-a-mes]

Blueberry Chapter 1

Summary: Y/N is fresh out of college with a small job at a newspaper, when she meets Chris Evans. They start a Sugar Daddy/Sugar baby relationship and try to navigate through their feelings, desires and personal obstacles. 

Warning: Fluff, not so confident reader, shitty roommate, proberly curse words

Parring: AU Chris Evans x female plus size reader

A/N: Hi there. So this is my first Chris Evans fic. It’s still a WIP and don’t really have that much of a plan with it. It will be a fluffy, angsty, smutty adventure spiced with some Sugar Daddy, Ddlg and D/s elements. But don’t expect that from the get go though. It’s a slow burn in some elements. I hope you enjoy it and feel free to leave a comment and share!

My masterlist

Blueberry Masterlist

Chapter 1:

The smell of freshly ground coffee beans and baked goods filled the air as I waited in line at the instagram worthy coffee shop. I riffled through my small backpack, finding my pink wallet and praying to god that there still was that 5 dollar bill that I found a week ago crumbled up in the bottom of my bag. 

Just as my fingers grabbed the edges of the bill, the barista behind the counter yelled “Next”, but since I was preoccupied with my treasure hunt I didn’t hear it. 

“Ahem, NEXT?!” The young blonde said again. 

It wasn’t until I felt a small nudge on my shoulder I registered that my turn was up. I quickly looked over my shoulder to see who interrupted my thoughts, and had to do a double check to see the tall, broad man in a tailor fitted suit standing behind me with a small smirk on his face. 

I literally gawked at him trying to take in this huge man’s chiseled features, but was all too fast interrupted by a “If you are not going to buy anything, please step out of the line, Ma’am” which made the gorgeous man lean down and say to me “I think this is the part where you order” 

It took a while before my mind finally (after what seemed like a 1000 years!) caught up with what was happening. 

“Oh.. “ I looked between him and the desk and back again. “Oh Geez! I’m so sorry!” I hurried up to the desk with the biggest blush on my cheeks. 

“Sure, what can I get you?” The skinny blonde with the highest and tightest ponytail I have ever seen said with a sigh and an almost eye roll. 

“Uhm, just a green tea with jasmine… and.. uhm…” I looked at the different cupcakes, muffins and cookies on display” “and uhm.. How much for the blueberry muffin?”

“That is 2 dollars. You want one?”

As I looked and craved that sweet ass delicious muffin, I looked at the crumbled 5 dollar bill in my hand, and I knew I needed the change for the bus fare. “Oh.. no, just the tea please, thank you” I ordered with a defeated sigh.

“Sure, that’s 3.15, and what name can I write on the order?”

“Y/N… Thank you.” I gave her my precious bill 

I have 5 dollars for a week and suddenly it’s Gollum and the ring, yeeesh girl

I quickly made my way to the end of the bar to wait for my order, counting the change in my wallet. 

I think there is enough for the bus tomorrow and some food.. maybe if I get off the stop before and get the bare necessities at the store. That could work. 

I nodded to myself and straightened up. 

“Y/N!?” A young boy yelled from the desk placing a comically large cup with a tea tag hanging off the edge of the cup, on the counter. 

“Yeah, that’s me” I lifted a hand a little.

“Right, here you go, and enjoy your tea”

With a “thanks”, I turned around and scouted for a spot to place my behind and a bathtub of tea, and by the gods of all things holy there was an empty armchair with a little table in the far corner. My face lit up and I went to place myself at the newly found corner of heaven. 

The old velvet armchair that looked like something from a grandmother’s house was soft but springy, but still made an excellent snuggle spot. I pulled my legs up under me and pulled out my book. This was gonna be a good Sunday afternoon after all.

“Ahem”... A soft cough pulled me from my book and I looked over the edge of the pages in front of me. They scanned up a large frame in a navy suit and landed on a familiar face. It was the adonis from the line of humiliation. 

A heavy blush fanned across my face as I made eye contact with a pair of the bluest eyes I have ever seen. 

When I finally let my eyes travel further across his face, I saw the sharp cheekbones and the well-trimmed beard that framed his plush pink lips that were formed into a smirk at the moment. 

I blinked slowly, and then shook my head, trying to see if this was a figure of my imagination, but nope. He was still there. 

“What.. uhm.. Yeah?” I stumbled over my words..”Can I help you?” 

“Ehehe.. Well, maybe. See I got this blueberry muffin, but I don’t think I can eat the whole thing, so I was wondering if you might want to share it with me?”

“What?” 

What the actual fuck is going on at this moment!? 

I turned around to see if there was someone behind me, because surely he wasn’t talking to me. The movement made him laugh under his breath.

“Shit, I thought it was a pretty smooth line. But man just shows me huh?”

He rubbed the back of his neck which made a show of his incredibly large bicep that was struggling to stay inside the sleeve of his jacket. 

I still looked like the fucking moon had fallen to the earth.

“I’m sorry, what did you say? Did I take your seat?” I began shifting seeing if I accidentally had taken someone’s seat.

“No no! God, this is not going how I planned” he shook his head still wearing a smirk. 

“I was just trying to get to talk to you, and I saw you wanted that blueberry muffin, so thought maybe.. You know what! Nevermind”

He took out his hand and smiled with the brightest smile I had ever seen.

“Hi, I’m Chris, can I sit here and talk to you?”

A small “Huh” left me, and I arched an eyebrow still in confusion of what the actual fuck was going on. I shook his hand.

“Hi, I’m Y/N. Sure.. take a seat?” I answered with a question. 

The god, the model from GQ, the adonis, the most gorgeous man ever apparently named Chris sat in a small chair across from me. 

“I’m sorry, are you sure you are at the right table?” I looked at him with squinted eyes leaning towards him 

“I think there are some instagram models over by the window” I pointed towards two absolutely gorgeous girls with perfect hair and outfits, posing for each other to take the right picture. 

He looked quickly at them, before looking into my eyes again. 

“I am absolutely sure I am at the right table!” He said with a wink.

“Oh… okay” A sheepish smile came across my lips as I sank a bit further into the velvet chair. 

A silence came over the two of us, as neither of us knew how to start the next sentence. 

I tried to hide my awkwardness by taking a sip of my tea.

“You know I think you can hide your entire face in that thing” Chris pointed at my giant mug filled with tea.

“I know, right! I think it’s big enough for squirrels to take a bath in” I lifted said cup up and studied it.

We both looked at each other and the large mug, before we busted out laughing. 

“I’m so sorry about before. I swear I usually have my shit together, but for the first time in a long time somebody threw me off my talking game” He looked down at his hands before casting a glance at me.

“I’m sorry for not understanding what was going on. I’m not used to people like you talking to me.”

“And by people like me you mean..?” He crooked an eyebrow.

“You know, absolutely gorgeous men in fancy suits and big muscles.” I said, shrugging, looking blushing at my book in my lap, fidgeting with the edges of the book.

“Oh those people.. So you think my suit is fancy huh?” He leaned over the table and winked at me. 

Yep, the mother fucker winked at me! 

“Uhm.. uh.. yeah.. I don’t know suits, but that kinda looks fancy.” I said in a small voice and blushed even harder and intensely looking at the frayed edges of my book.

“Damn…!” He exclaimed under his breath.

“What?” I looked up wide eyed at him with big doe eyes and mouth slightly agape.

He shook his head before looking up at me.

“You are just adorable” he smirked before looking at what I assume was an expensive as fuck watch. 

“Well, as much as I want to stay here and talk and get to know you Y/N, believe me, I really wish I could. But gotta go. It was really wonderful meeting you, and hopefully we will meet again” 

He said with a wink before holding out his hand. 

I shook his hand and as soon as I did, he placed a small kiss on the back of my hand. 

“Uhm, yeah.. Sure. Have a great day then?” I said with confusion written all across my face. He then left, but not before turning around at the entry door to the shop, and threw a million dollar smile my way that made me weak in my bones and permeated the blush I had been sporting all throughout the ordeal. 

What the fuck just happened and who was that man?

I shook my head and laughed at the whole situation, when I saw a brown paper bag with the coffee shop logo on it placed on the small table. 

What’s this?

I looked inside and lo and behold there, in a perfect plastic container, was a wonderful blueberry muffin with a white card sticking out of it. 

I took it out, and picked up the card that read.

“Chris Evans 

Attorney at law”

Just below that there was scribbled in a blue pen

“And acquirer of blueberry muffins, for more contact the number”

And sure enough there was a phone number on the card also written in blue pen.

“Very smooth, Mr. Evans” I chuckled to myself. The card was tucked in my wallet and the muffin soon consumed as I returned to reading my book.

Well… that just happened.

The plastic bag gnawed into my fingers as I trudged from the bus stop towards my apartment. The walk was a bit longer than usual since I got off at an earlier stop in hopes of saving the pennies. I finally reached my building and unlocked the front door, and made my way up the.. Wait for it… 5 flights of stairs! Now you may wonder, who in their right mind would live on the fifth floor in a building without an elevator? This lucky gal, that’s who! It’s cheap and close to the bus stop. Beggars can’t be choosers. 

When I finally reached the door to my apartment and began to let myself in, I was blocked when the chain rattled the door shut on the other side. 

“”What the hell?.. Dammit! Hey… Allie???” I began yelling through the door. “Hey Allie! Please unhook the chain!”

A loud sigh and some rustling was heard from inside of the apartment.

“Ugh are you already home?” My roommate Allie came up to the door, rolling her eyes, before closing the door so she could unhook the little brass chain. 

The door then slipped open revealing Allie thrudging towards the sofa, where her boyfriend was lounging in his grey sweatpants and t-shirt filled with cheeto dust. 

Allie and I had been roommates for about 6 months, since I moved to the city for my job. She was a black haired, pale skinned, beautiful girl. She had an amazing bone structure and a body most girls would envy. She used all of those assets in her job as a dancer/stripper, which she was very proud of. 

Her boyfriend named Craig was an average looking guy, with brown hair and a goatee, unemployed at the moment, which meant that he was spending a lot.. A LOT of time at our apartment. 

“Sup Y/N!” He called from the couch, while grabbing a handful of cheetos before drowning them down with a gulp of beer.

“Hi Craig..” I muttered and went towards the kitchen and began unpacking my groceries. When I opened the fridge the emptiness greeted me and a lonely carton of milk stood on the shelf. 

“Uhm, guys?.. Where is the rest of my food?” 

I knew there was some food left, but now it was all cleaned out.

“Well, we got hungry so…” Allie said with a shrug as she laid on the sofa with her feet hanging over the edge of the couch and her head in Craig’s lap. 

“But.. It was mine. You could at least send me a note to get something for you while I was out” I sighed and began defeatingly placing the small bundle of food I just got on the shelves in the fridge.

“Sorry. Didn’t think of it. Sorry” Allie said with clear annoyance in her voice. 

Sorry my ass.

I knew better than to start an argument with her, so I just hurried unpacking, secretly putting my cereal and the few apples in my backpack to keep in my room. 

My humble bedroom greeted me as I closed the door behind me, and let out an exasperated sigh. 

Home sweet, dirty, small, smelly home.

It wasn’t much, in fact it was the smallest room in the apartment. There was just enough for my oooooold twin bed, a small nightstand with a frilly lamp placed on top, a desk with all my notes and a brick of a laptop. At least there was a tiny walk-in closet that had just enough room for my clothes (besides the clothes that were still packed in a suitcase under my bed)

I fell down on my bed feeling the scratch on my cheek from my knitted mustard yellow bedcover. As I lay there a smile flashed in my mind, followed by blue eyes looking at me. Chris… 

Chris?! I sat up with a startle. How could I forget that hunk of a man from earlier today?! 

Stuff like that never happened to me, and as I shook my head over the not so far away memory of him, I recalled the little white business card. 

Quickly I pulled my backpack into my lap, digging like a mad woman looking for the pink wallet. 

“Aha!” I exclaimed as I found the wallet and the card within, and let the bag drop to the ground.  I crawled up my bed sitting against the headboard amongst my 376 or so throw pillows 

Okay, so I maybe have an addiction for funky throw pillows

I fished out my not-so modern smartphone, and opened the text message app. Then I stared at it. 

What am I doing? He doesn’t want to talk to me. It’s probably a prank. A number for some random person he is trying to tease.

I shook my head and tossed the phone and card further down the bed. 

“Huff! What are you thinking girl? A guy like that won’t talk to you!” I heard myself say out loud. 

I went over to my desk, got my laptop ready and looked at my notes. 

Might as well get started on some work. 

I finished college last year with a major in journalism, I really thought that I was going to start working on a paper or publishing company writing hard in-depth articles and helping show the world the truth. 

What I didn’t expect was landing my current job of proofreading answers to a segment called "Ask Helen" at the rather big newspaper I worked at. 

It was an advice column where people wrote in for help and advice on their life. It was a 90s something relic in the paper, but “Ask Helen” was a popular column and got more letters than we could keep up with. 

Helen was a 65 year old chain-smoking lady who answered the questions at hand on her old typewriter, which meant somebody had to digitize them and correct any errors or typos, and that somebody was lucky me. 

The deadline was Tuesday and I still had 4 answers to read through. It was a shitty job, with a shitty pay but at least it was in the field.. Right? That was at least something? I think. Fingers crossed that some day an opening for a writer in one of the larger segments would come up for grabs. 

As the night rolled around I had finished about 2 answers and considered my work done for the night, and went to make some dinner. The living room/kitchen was a hot mess. Trash and bottles all over the wobbly coffee table and the TV blaring while the kitchen sink was full of dirty dishes and pans. I didn’t notice that when I got home, and a gnawing feeling filled my stomach. 

I frantically opened the fridge and yes, my food was gone. It wasn’t much. Some eggs, milk, ground beef and some tomatoes. I had planned to make a large pot of bolognese so I would have dinner for the next couple of days. But no, now all that was left was two eggs, and half carton of milk. 

For fuck’s sake!

“ALLIE?!” I yelled towards her room “Did you take my food again????!” 

No answer at first, just some ruffling behind the door, which opened in a fury. Allie stood wearing a full face of makeup and her hair in two high pigtails, pink lipstick grazed her plump lips, and clad in a black latex top and flowy latex skater skirt. 

“WHAT?” She snarled. 

“Did you eat the food I just got today?” 

“Uhm, I don’t know. We just took whatever. I gotta go to work now. Are we done?” She popped her hip as she hooked in giant hoop earrings, and Craig came behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist as he kissed her neck.

“Tihihi… Stop Craig! No marks before work!” She giggled as she turned around in his arms and playfully slapped him on his shoulder. 

“It’s just so hard not to when you look so fuckable” 

He punctuated his sentence with a thrust of his hips, making Allie get off balance in her insanely high heels, and giggled once more. 

I just hung my head low and closed the fridge, Allie and Craig went towards the front door, but not before Craig slapped his hand across my ass when he passed me.

“HEY!” I turned around covering my butt with my hands.

“What? You could use some loosening up” Craig said with a grin, only making Allie laugh in mockery. 

“Why don’t you clean up a bit, the place is a mess!” 

Allie had the audacity to say to me as she put on her big black faux fur coat, while gesturing towards the kitchen and living room. 

“But I didn’t even.. “ I barely got the words out before they laughed and went out the door, letting the sound of the slam echo through the apartment. 

I could feel the lump in my throat tightening and tears prick at the edges of my eyes, but I shook my head and held my head high, turned on my heel making my way towards my room, and just as my hand touched the handle, I turned around again and made my way towards the dish covered sink. 15 mins later my fingers were prunes, the dishes were done and the counter clean. The mess in the living room I had no intentions of doing something about. 

That’s right! I stick up for myself… sometimes!

I crawled under the covers snuggling with my childhood cuddle bear who had been with me through thick and thin, and rolled over to see my phone and the white card next to me on the bed. 

Hmm.. maybe, I should just try? 

“What do you think, Albus?” I looked at the bear with one eye. 

“Do I need to venture outside my comfort zone and text an unknown man, an incredibly hot unknown man?” 

“Sure do it! You only live once Y/N” I mimicked my voice pretending to be Albus. 

“Sigh, alright, if you say so” 

I grabbed the phone and added the number in my contacts as Blueberry Chris and began writing a text. After several trials and errors, curses and almost believing my writing skills had left me for good, I settled on a simple, short text that read:

Hello there Mr. Blueberry muffin provider

I thank you for your service today! 

10/10 rating from this customer

/Y/N

I pressed send and threw the covers over my head after having tossed the phone as if it had burned me. 

“Aaaaarh! I can’t believe I just did that!”

With a huge smile on my face, I set the alarm on my phone and turned off my lamp. 

Dirty dishes, blueberry muffins and pearly white smiles filled my dreams.

#Chris Evans #daddy chris evans #chris evans smut #CEvans #chris evans au #captain america #Avengers #chris evans fanfiction #blueberryfic

[blackypanther9]

Part 39 - Stories about the past Destiny...

No one’s POV...

Laufey mentioned for you both to go outside, you nodded and you both made your way out of the house.

"So..it worked ?", Laufey asked.

"Yes it did."

"What did you see ?"

"....Before we start about my past...We need to change my plan about the Infinity Stones. They have a strong gamma radiation, Thanos can detect them with that. So the Guardians got a fake gem and will say a spell to make it look like the stone never left. It will weaken my magic and maybe this body won't be my host for long. This gamma radiation will also be stronger than the originals. And they will all go to Midgard into my hide out."

Laufey stared at you and nodded slowly.

"Now...I believe that I knew Lena once...your wife...", you mumbled.

"How ?"

"I lived once, long before even the Midgardians existed. I believe I should be over 65 million or so years old...Which means in my old home that I am maybe...22 years old...And still we look young. We won't age until we are in our own home 10 000 years. And in...I believe 18 years you start to be a teenager.  With 20 years I got send into exile. For 1 year and...In space flashed millions of years before my eyes...It was scary..."

"WAIT ! 20 years on your home planet are almost 61 million years and 8 months long ?! How is that even possible ?!"

"Time...The deeper you are in space the slower you age."

"Holy...shit..."

"Yeah...Asgard is an example. Most of them count in Midgardian years, newly. If we would go for Asgardian years...Loki wouldn't be 362 years old, but maybe 19 years old now...If I calculate correctly. Soon turning 20... When I was still there, as little kid, I just handled with Asgardian years...Now not anymore."

'Lena ran maybe to her lover. She never told me what race he is, but she said his name was Laufey.', you heard yourself whisper.

"LENA !!", you screamed.

Laufey jumped.

"What is with a Lena ?"

"Your fucking wife Laufey ! She was an eternal being just like me ! Is there something you never told me ?!"

Laufey looked taken aback. Then sighed.

"She never told me, what she is. The only thing she said was that our son is very different from everyone. He is something special."

"Laufey...Loki is half Frost Giant, half eternal being ! A being with immense power ! He is a dangerous weapon ! Like me !"

Laufey stared at you shocked.

"WHAT ?!"

"He could control the Infinity Stones. I bet Loki or even somebody else never knew or found out ! Odin would have raised Loki like Hela ! And if Thanos would have known, he would never let him still live ! My kind is standing above Thanos' kind and Loki is half of that !"

"What means...!"

"He lives longer than even Thor and his heir. He would outlive them all and see them all die."

Laufey stared into space.

"I need time to let that sink in...", he said breathless.

"Laufey...Odin can never find out about this. We both know what he would do to Loki if he would know."

"Kill him..."

"No. Worse. He would torture Loki until he is agreeing to cause chaos in all realms and make them tremble under Odin’s mercy. Odin would make a monster out of Loki, like he did to Hela."

"We need to tell Loki.."

"No ! Loki can't know it ! He isn't ready for that. He just found out that he is a fricking Frost Giant, he got tortured, forced, manipulated, beaten, almost got killed, almost imprisoned and is traumatized. He is too broken to know ! We firstly need to fix him. He hates himself enough already."

You started to look even more sad.

"And he will soon hate me too..."

"What do you mean ?", asked Laufey confused.

You sighed.

"We need  the Soul Stone and it is practically cursed. I cursed it...and...I can't undo it. It wouldn't work..."

"What wouldn't work ? And why are you pulling Loki into this ?"

"To get the Soul Stone you need to sacrifice what you love dearest. We can't let Odin know anything. Thor wouldn't have the ass to sacrifice someone he loves dearest. Leaves only Loki, because I can't sacrifice anything. And even if I could sacrifice anything, it wouldn't work, because I put that spell on the Stone. It wouldn't react by me."

"Who does Loki loves dearest ?"

"You know who. It's a woman, family member also."

"Frigga...", Laufey whispered.

"Yes. Loki has to sacrifice her in Vomir. The thing is...it is a big price. A Soul, in exchange, for the Soul Stone. Which makes us come to the conclusion..."

"Loki has to kill her...", Laufey mumbled.

"Sadly yes. He has to kill her. Frigga is the person, Loki loves dearest. He has to push her off of a cliff. And Frigga's soul will never move on, nor you can bring her back with all stones. An exchange is an exchange."

"Never move on ?"

"Her soul will forever stuck in the Soul Stone. Once done, no turning back. It will be hard for him and Frigga, but we have no other choice. I don't know how I shall teach that to them..."

Little did you both know that someone eavesdropped on you... The person ran quietly and quickly back in the house. Loki opened the door and awoke Frigga with panic. As she was awake, she stood up and Loki told her to follow him. After they were in the living room they sat down and Loki let his facade fall, breaking down crying and hugging Frigga. Tight.

"I don't...I can't...Mother !"

Frigga looked at him worried. Loki never acted like a 5 year old child before. Not even when he was five. She hugged him back, rocked back and forth with him and humming a calming tune. After Loki calmed down again Frigga asked Loki worried.

"Son..what happened ?"

Loki slid down on his knees and buried his face into Frigga's stomach. He cried harder again.

"They want me to get the Soul Stone !!"

"Who, son ?"

"Destiny and Laufey !!"

"That is great ! They trust you."

"No ! You don't understand !! The gem wants a sacrifice !! You need to sacrifice what you love dearest !! A soul in exchange for the gem !! And I love you dearest, Mother !! I can't do this ! They can't do this to me ! Please !!", he screamed into Frigga's stomach.

She heard every word he said and then understood. He has to sacrifice her for the Soul Stone in exchange. She rubbed Loki's back, trying to calm him.

"Shh, Son. If you have to sacrifice me then so be it."

"No ! You could never move to Valhalla ! You would stuck in the gem forever ! I can't let that happen !! We can't even bring you back then either !!"

Frigga frowned for a second then smiled and lifted Loki's chin up with her finger.

"Loki. If it is the only way, then so be it. Also I do not think that Destiny wouldn't find a way to get me out of the gem. She made so many impossible things possible, you wouldn't believe me if I told you. I will never be mad at you, no matter what you did."

Loki's tear stained face broke Frigga's heart.

"What did she do ?"

Frigga smiled and created a little video screen then she told him...

Flashback Frigga's POV...

Many things. Like I said she made the impossible, possible. Without much trickery, lies or murder. I remember that one time when she ran down the halls with a determined expression. Many of our people just disappeared and didn't return in a couple of days we started searching. Destiny had a firm lead that day and ran to King Bor. She was still a freshman but was still better than anyone else.... for causing very much mischief. *chuckles*

"King Bor ! King Bor !"

As Destiny spotted Bor she yelled after him and he stopped in his tracks.

"I think I know where they are ! They are in a cave not far from here ! I saw 2 people go there ! Please let me go there with a few men."

At first Bor didn't believe her and shook his head.

"I am sick of your tricks, Destiny."

"B-but king Bor, I am not lying ! I saw Augustus Verlan go in there ! One of our guards ! King Bor please-!"

"Enough !! Guards ! Bring Destiny Dust in the dungeons ! For trying to lie to me again."

"But King Bor ! I swear on my life I am serious ! I saw- Hey ! Let go of me !"

"Lady Dust, you are herby a prisoner and you will stay there chained on a wall for 20 years and are fired as a guard ! After your years in prison, you aren't welcomed here anymore and get thrown out of the castle ! Take her away !"

She struggled to get away, but it was no use. The last thing she screamed was a warning, which Bor didn't took serious.

"THEY ARE AFTER YOUR SON ODIN !! WATCH OUT OR HE IS NEXT !!"

It didn't take long, maybe 2 days after that and Odin was gone. No trace left. At first we thought he comes back...but the next day we grew worried...Bor ran down the dungeons to Destiny, in anger. He still didn't believe her and thought that she was still pranking him. But I knew she wouldn't dare go that far.

"WHERE IS MY SON ?!"

Destiny knelt there in chains on the ground. Never touched her food, never spoke, she just knelt there. Her head hung low and Bor was even more furious he banged on the glass.

"ANSWER ME !!"

As Destiny lifted her head, you could see black, very visible, circles around her eyes and her body was very skinny, her face a deep frown. You never saw her like this. She still didn't speak.

"Destiny AnDrEa DUST !!! ANSWER MY QUESTION !!! NOW !!"

Destiny just looked at him and then opened her mouth. Bor saw what he thought couldn't be.

"What happened ?!"

Someone cut out her tongue. He send healers and me inside there and we gave her something, so that her tongue is growing fastly in her mouth and after that we tried to give her water, but she refused and glared at Bor.

"Why should I tell you ? I warned you, I told you that I think I know where they were and still you stand here and ask me again ? You said I no longer serve you, so be it. Have fun finding him alone. And never heal me again, so I can't 'lie' to you anymore !"

Destiny spat and then just like that, she bit through her freshly new tongue and it fell out of her mouth. We all were disgusted, but I understood her too and pitied her. The next day more of our people disappeared and Bor again went down, just to find Dest gone. She broke out. Bor send out many guards to find her, the traitor. Later 10 guards saw her and chased her, in the end they lost her, but heard screams from afar. They followed and were on a cave, as they went inside they were shocked what they saw and that was all the Asir's who went missing. With Destiny on a wall trying to break free. She send out illusions to come to them. Not every trick was a trick. More a signal for help. As they killed the kidnapper, who were cannibals, Destiny was gone again and wasn't seen for a long time. The guards told Bor what had happened and he felt terrible, he was begging that she would return. And she did. She got captured, while she was sleeping in the dirt of the forest in Asgard. Thanks to Heimdall. She looked absolutely terrible. Her clothes torn, very skinny you saw every bone and very dirty. We healed her tongue and were shocked that she tried to kill herself with starvation and thirst. She was almost there. Bor quickly brought her back on her feet. He forced her to eat, drink, talk and lastly listen to him again. We even found out that the chains she was in, were blocking her magic. We still don't know how she made illusions of herself, without magic. After Destiny was fit and on her feet again, Bor gave Destiny's reputation back to her and she was a guard. And she was allowed to cause more mischief.

End of flashback No one’s POV...

Loki stared at the magic and was amazed from the story.

"What did she do also ?", he asked.

"She came back from the dead more than 2 times. Once against the Dark Elves, then against Hela and then against the Frost Giants. Because of Destiny we won all 3 times, sadly...she didn't return after the Frost Giants in war, like we expected.

"How did she defeat the Dark Elves ?", Loki asked curious.

Frigga smiled a soft smile.

Flashback Frigga's POV...

It was a dark time. Everyone was worried and afraid that Asgard can't safe anything this time. Bor broadcast desperately many men to Svartalfheim to stop the Dark Elves. No matter how many he sent...they never made it back alive. It was the first war with them.

"Wait ! You had a second war with them ?!", Loki interrupted.

Yes. Yes we had. Anyway ! Destiny was sick of his failures and planned a plan. Her job was to train a newbie. His name was Jackson. He did everything without getting it said twice. Without doubt and questions. But she gave Jackson to someone else to risk her luck and ask Bor to handle that herself with a few guards.

~Knock ! Knock !~

"Come in !" (King Bor)

~Door creaks open slowly~

"King Bor ? Am I interrupting something important ?"(Destiny/You)

"Who is this beautiful servant, Bor ?"

Bor was in a meeting, planning a big war. One of the men had to be a pervert. Destiny told me how the man stared her up and down. It was giving her goose bumps. If some random men just compliment her and stare at her like a pervert she snaps...

"First of all, I am not a servant ! Second I am not beautiful ! And third my name doesn't concern you ! Now...Can I speak with you king Bor ? Please in private ?"

Bor got a wolf whistle as he nodded. She glared at the man and slapped him across the face.

"Shut the hell up ! Get yourself together or leave !", she yelled angered.

After that they both left and Destiny told him her plan. He refused it and said they will go tomorrow with all guards and kill the Dark Elves. Destiny argued with Bor that he is doing it again.

"But I know that it'll work !"

"No is no, Destiny."

"You are doing it again ! You don't trust me ! Just like last time !!"

"Why should I trust you ?! All you do is causing mischief ! All you do is trick and lie to us !"

"That is not fair, Bor ! I once before showed you that I am not kidding if it is about Asgard and shit about going down ! Who do you think is always doing your fricking paper work ?! Odin ?! He gives it to me and I finish them, so he can rest ! Who is still polishing weapons, shields and armor ?! Do you really think I let the Newbie do all that ?! Who do you think is never really sleeping to work all around the palace ?! Huh ?! YOU ?!"

"Destiny that is enough !!"

"I hate it to always prove myself to you, Bor !! Then go there ! Die like everyone else ! I quit !!"

With that she stormed out of the hall and into her room, packed her stuff, some money and left, before Bor could talk to her again. The next day they went and Bor just took a half of the guards with himself. He returned with dead guards and badly injured ones. His plan didn't work. And now Destiny was gone again. He told Jackson to try and find her.

"Jackson try to find Destiny and bring her back to us. She was right...if I would have taken everyone with myself they would be already dead.  If her plan works...I will never doubt her again and do what she asks of me. Never proving herself to me again. That I swear."

And like always...Jackson did as he got told. Meanwhile Destiny saved a little girl in a forest, from a beast and brought her back to her family.

"Joanna !", a woman screeched in happiness.

"Mom !!"

They hugged each other tight, crying in happiness. The woman looked up to see Destiny.

"Thank you ! H-how can I ever thank you enough for saving my daughter ?"

"The words 'Thank you' are enough for me. Just watch more out. The forest is dangerous and not for kids to play there. Next time I may be not there to safe her. Have a nice day ma'am."

"Destiny !!"

She turned and saw Jackson running to her. He was smiling, but she started to run away.

"No ! Wait ! I have a message for you !!"

"I don't wanna hear it ! Go home Jackson !"

"Destiny please ! I NEED YOU !! YOU ARE MY ONLY FRIEND !!"

She stopped dead in her tracks and turned around. Now they stood face to face. She crossed her arms.

"What is it ?"

"You were right."

"About what ?"

"About the Dark Elves and all. If Bor would have taken everyone with himself they would be dead. He is sorry and needs your help now. If your plan works...you never have to prove yourself again. He will do everything. That he swears. He wants you back as his guard. And my...teacher."

Destiny was touched but also still angered. She turned her back to Jackson.

"I won't return. He always thinks he is better than me. I am sick of it. He can use my plan, but I won't be there. That is my last word."

With that she was gone and Jackson alone. Jackson fell on his knees and cried silent tears.

"But we need you...I need you...You promised to never leave me..."

Later he returned and told Bor what Destiny said. Bor was shocked that she didn't join them this time again. He just then realized that he crossed her line. He sighed and said that tomorrow the plan will be in action. The next day was on and guards stood at the Bifrost. Armed from head to toe, on different places will they get set. Always a 10 men group will be on a different spot of Svartalfheim. They will trap the Dark Elves like that and win. It almost went all as she planned, but Bor didn't watch out for Jackson and he almost died. A hooded person pushed Jackson out of the way and stopped the weapon to pierce through themself, in a close catch.

"Keep fighting and look everywhere you idiot ! What did I train you for ?!"

"Dest...?"

"....Hello....Jackson.", the person whispered.

"KING BOR WATCH OUT !!"

As Jackson and the hooded person turned around, Bor was at the mercy of the Dark Elves.

"Go back or your king will die !"

"Not under my watch !!", the same hooded person yelled.

Malekith turned and saw 6 more hooded people, all the same. Suddenly someone tapped his shoulder and as he turned he had a dagger pressed against his neck.

"Kill our king and I kill your dear leader, you bastards !", the now un - hooded person yelled.

"Destiny !!", Jackson yelled happily.

"You were right, Jackson. I promised you something. And to be frank...you are also my only friend. I thank you for making me to see my wrongs."

"Let the king go ! They have our leader !", one of the Dark Elves yelled.

Bor was released. But Destiny didn't release Malekith.

"Drop your weapons. Or else !"

They really listened to her and let their weapons fall.

"Now...IF YOU LITTLE SHITHEADS EVER DARE TO START A WAR AGAIN I AM AT YOUR DOOR AND KICK YOUR SORRY ARSE'S !!! UNDERSTOOD ?! YOU REALLY ARE BRAINLESS DUMBSHIT'S !!"

They all nodded and Malekith shuddered at her outburst.

"Mmh...Someone is stressed, should I help you out ~?"

"Eww...Heck no !"

She then pushed Malekith from herself and went home with the others. On the same day she became General. Irrevocable. Not even Odin could undo it. And if Destiny doesn't follow Odin, then the guards and fighters don't follow him also. As their General they have to follow Destiny.

End of Flashback No ones POV...

"That's why you are not in prison. Her name appeared and he knew that he can't do anything against her agreement, or else she would stand up against him with all the guards. He isn't allowed to banish her and everything else. Or he has to live with the consequences." , Frigga finished.

Loki stared at her in shock.

"That means she is like...my...guardian ?"

Frigga smiled at him.

"Yes. She and I. We both are your guardians, sadly I am a little trapped...but Destiny ? She can do what she wants. She escaped so many times death or punishment. And she saved so many times Asgardians...I lost count after 10 000, on her second rescue of Asgard. All the stories I told you and Thor...were mostly from her."

"Wow..."

"She once brought someone back from the dead too. I believe she can do it again, with me this time. Don't worry Loki. She always finds a way. Like she found one to safe you and let you grow up, knowing what life means. And you just learned a part of all this. Wait until you find your true love and have your own little family."

"I don't think I deserve love and a family...I am a monster, mother. Nobody will ever forgive and accept me, for who I am. Not even Thor."

"Loki...You tell that yourself. I love you as my son, no matter the race. I love you as what and who you are. Destiny loves you as a friend, dearly. And Thor...he does too, but because of what you did and tried to gain...he loses his trust in his younger Babybrother. Yes, you aren't related or connected by blood, but you were raised together. Means you share a bound. You both just need to find the way to this bound and accept it. Fighting and hating the other won't help you both. One day Odin and I won't be there anymore and Thor and you are all alone. While you maybe can live on your own...Thor couldn't. Without you there is a hole in his chest, he can't fill. He tried as you were gone for 2 years, but couldn't. He never celebrated and swore to celebrate when you are back and well."

Loki was surprised to hear this. Frigga stroked Loki's leg stood up and went back to the room to go back to sleep. Loki laid down on the couch and quickly fell in a deep sleep.

Part 40

Masterlist with all Chapters of this Story click here !  

#Marvel #Thor #Loki Odinson #Loki Laufeyson #Loki x Reader

[deanstop13billyjoeltraxx]

Superposition

a deancas college-roommates AU

Chapter 5 is up on AO3! Chapter-by-chapter masterlist here. 

Fell on Black Days

Present

The drive back to Dean’s apartment was painful. 

He didn’t speak a word the whole way. Not that he could have, even if he had wanted to. The pain in his head from the sunlight was unbearable, and the bumpy roads of Lawrence made him feel like emptying his stomach at any moment. Dean just shut his eyes and gripped the bottom of the leather seat. 

He knew, logically, that Cas couldn’t be staring at him, that he had to be watching the road, but Dean couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being assessed. Carefully considered. Cas in the driver’s seat made the cabin air feel heavier. It pissed Dean off.

Finally, they arrived at the dinky little apartment complex Dean called home. Cas turned off the engine. Dean exited the car and took a massive breath of fresh air, still squinting against the offensive sunlight. 

“Here,” Cas said, handing Dean a pair of sunglasses. 

Dean stared at him. “Where were these twenty minutes ago?” 

“I thought you were sleeping.” 

“Whatever.” 

Dean put on the sunglasses, which helped the ache in his head ever so slightly. He led Cas to his door, beckoning for his keys. He suddenly felt a little embarrassed at his one-bedroom apartment that he’d been living in since he left WSU. He was sure that Cas hadn’t lived in a place like this since their freshman year. 

Cas said nothing as the two walked into the space. Dean threw his keys on the counter and moved to close the blinds. Darkness was an absolute necessity if he wasn’t going to wear the sunglasses inside, he had learned that much. 

“Make yourself at home,” Dean said, sitting gingerly on the couch. 

“Actually, I’m heading back out.” 

Dean blinked. “What?”

“I need to retrieve my suitcase, at least, from Mr. S — from Bobby,” Cas said. “Then I’ll need to find a hotel.” 

“Right,” Dean replied, clearing his throat. “Whatever, man. I’d offer to drive you, but you wouldn’t let me, so I’m not even gonna try.” 

Cas rolled his eyes and made to leave. 

“Do you need anything, Dean?” 

“A beer and a cigarette would be great,” Dean deadpanned. 

Cas turned at the door. “You’re… Smoking again?” 

“What’s it to you if I am?” 

Cas stared at him for a long moment, his eyes narrowed, and Dean wondered idly if he was about to get the shit beat out of him by his old college roommate. At least he could claim foul play — he was concussed, after all. 

“What is your problem?” Cas asked, carefully annunciating each word. 

“Are you serious, Cas?”

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

“Fuck me, man,” Dean said, squeezing his eyes shut once more. He wanted to say, where do I start? He wanted to say, you up and left and never said goodbye. He wanted to say, you were my best friend and you dropped me like I meant nothing.

He didn’t say any of those things. He just said, “It’s not important.” 

Cas was standing very straight and very still, glaring at Dean with something like holy wrath. Dean averted his eyes. He couldn’t deal with any of this; being concussed, Cas being back. It was too much to handle.

Cas opened his mouth, but seemed to think better of it, and closed it again. He breathed out, slow and loud. When Dean chanced a glance, he no longer looked angry, just… Sad. Defeated. 

“Dean…”

And Dean hated it, the way Cas was looking at him, imploring for him to explain, the way he felt cosmically small sitting in this room with his once-best friend. He was hurt and he was mad and he was tired and his brain couldn’t decide which of those three feelings should be winning out. 

“Stop,” he said. “Go find your motel, or whatever.” Exhaustion seemed to be inching out a win. 

Cas gave him a final, morose look before muttering, “Get well soon,” and closing the door behind him. 

 Despite his earlier argument with Cas, Dean did indeed avoid the beer in his fridge. He simply laid on the couch in the dark, Bob Seger streaming quietly from the speakers next to his television. His eyes were closed, but sleep refused to come. 

Dean thought the universe must have it out for him, because there could be no other explanation for Castiel’s car conveniently breaking down ten minutes away from his shop. Cas, whose entire existence was shoved in a “Fragile: Do Not Shake” box in the back of Dean’s mind, right there with his dead parents. Thinking about Cas just made him sad, or angry. Mostly angry. Now, he’d had a full interaction with the man he hadn’t seen since he was nineteen, and those feelings were a million times worse. Before now, Dean could have pretended that memories of Cas were too closely linked with memories of his father’s death, and that was why they hurt so much. He couldn’t pretend anymore.

Mostly, he avoided thinking about his brief stint in college altogether. He hadn’t even been back to Wichita since he’d failed out. It held too many reminders; of the life he’d almost had, the people he’d loved, how, for once in his life, he’d been good enough for something. No, those memories, too were tightly bound and tucked away in the deep recesses of his mind. He’d peak in occasionally; maybe “Wish You Were Here'' played in the grocery store, or maybe he was a few shots too deep in whiskey. 

And life was better that way; hell, life was good that way. He’d suffered in a private hell for months after John died, waiting for someone to pull him out, surely someone would pull him out. When no one ever did, he’d had to do it himself. He buried his fake ID in Sam’s sock drawer and wouldn’t touch it until he fixed his life. He begged Bobby for a job, worked his ass off to prove he was capable. He found a shitty little apartment for him and Sam. He took his brother to school every morning, cooked dinner every night, and worked every hour in between. It was hard, it was painful, and he’d bloodied his knuckles in frustration more than a few times. But he did it. He rebuilt his life. It was stable. It was good.

He’d thought it was good. 

Dean was about three pissy thoughts away from losing his security deposit when his phone began to buzz. He paused the music.

“Hey, Sammy.”

“Dean!” His brother yelled into the phone. Dean winced. “Jesus. You sound awful.” 

“Nice to hear from you too.” 

“Bobby called, told me what happened,” Sam said. “What the hell did you hit?”

“No clue,” Dean said. “But it knocked me down pretty good. Had to get eight stitches.” 

“Damn. You’re okay, though?”

“Well, I’m not bleeding into my eyes. But I guess I have a mild concussion.”

Dean could practically feel Sam rolling his eyes. “Yeah, it sounds really mild. You’re not going back to work, are you?”

“I think if I set foot in the shop, Bobby would kill me himself,” Dean replied bitterly. 

“Good.”

They were both quiet for a moment, then Sam said, “Bobby also told me that some guy drove you to the hospital. He said he recognized him from a picture on your desk, was it Ca-”

“When you comin’ home?” Dean interrupted. He did not need to talk about Cas with Sam “Tell Me How You’re Feeling” Winchester.  

“Uh, my last final is tonight. I should be in Lawrence around eight tomorrow night.” 

“Awesome. Guess I gotta get the air mattress set up for your dumbass,” Dean said. He’d never admit it, but Dean really did miss Sam. It was his first semester of college, and he was all the way in Austin. Dean was proud, so proud, but it still hurt knowing his baby brother was ten hours away. 

Sam chuckled, but it sounded forced, even to Dean. “Yeah. Yeah, can’t wait.” 

Dean sat up, and the room wobbled a little. Too fast. He groaned a little before asking, “Is everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah, um, everything’s fine,” Sam said quickly. “I just… I think I’m gonna spend a little time in Kansas City this year, that’s all.” 

“What?” Dean snapped. “Why?”

“Well, there’s this girl in a few of my classes — her name’s Eileen — and her family is in KC, and, well, she kind of invited me to spend some time with them, so I thought, you know, since it’s so close…” Sam trailed off. 

“What, did you just meet her? Why are you going Christmassing with some random girl’s folks?”

“She’s not a random girl, Dean, we’ve been… She’s been a great friend to me this semester,” Sam said, sounding irritated. “And I’m still gonna be in Lawrence for Christmas, I’m just not gonna be there the whole break.” 

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Right. No, that’s great, Sam. Haven’t seen you in four months, but go ahead, spend some time with a girl you’ve never even mentioned to me. Hell, no one fucking tells me anything, so I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if you show up married.”

“Dean —”

Dean hung up. 

He almost felt bad, but he was too busy being pissed off. The last twenty-four hours had been ridiculous. 

He almost turned on the TV before remembering the no-screens rule from Dr. Barnes. Muttering to himself, he stood slowly from the couch and made his way to the medicine drawer in his kitchen. He wasn’t sure about the adverse effects of taking NyQuil with a concussion — conveniently, he also didn’t care. He threw two back with a large gulp of water, then laid back down, waiting for sleep to take him.

-----

tagging @nguyenxtrang :)))

#supernatural #destiel #deancas #destiel fic #superposition

[thenighttrain]

folklore first listen

pls feel free to ignore this, i just wanted to record my screaming on my blog so that i can refer back to it and laugh at myself someday x

The 1

THE PIANO OMG I LOVE IT AND I LOVE THE BEAT I looooove THIS SONG IT’S SO NOSTALGIC WHO THE FUCK IS IT ABOUT OH MY OGD IM SCREAMING also the swearing I’m living… ok seriously who is this about I am losing my mind. This is so bittersweet I’m ?!!!!!!!!!!!! I REALLY LOVE THIS

CARDIGAN

I ALSO LOVE THIS WHAT ITS’ SO NOSTALGIC and the music video is so pretty wit the green and she looks like an actual forest nymph with the piano and the water and it’s all incredible. YOU DREW STARS AROUND MY SCARS BUT NOW I’M BLEEDING???????? BITCH. THE LYRICS IN THIS ARE FUCKING INCREDIBLE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK OH MY DISJFASLDFNSADF OH MY GDO I knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss??????? MAAM?

The last great American dynasty

SO INTRIGUING HOW SHE WROTE THIS??? WHAT IS IT ABOUT? IDK BUT I LOVE IT

Exile

BON IVERRRRRR I LOVE THE WAY HIS VOICE SOUNDS IN THIS AND THE CHORUS IS HAUNTINGLY BEAUTIFUL and the background vocals… omg. This album his the most unique thing she’s ever written I????? I LOVE HOW HER VOICE SOUNDS N THE CHORUS. ‘You were my crown now I’m in exile seeing you out’? YOU KNOW LIKE I CAN IMAGINE THESE SONGS AS THE SOUNDTRACK TO SO MANY OF MY FAVOURITE FANTASY BOOKS IM LOSING MY MIND. ALSO OH MY GOD BON IVERS VOICE AT THE END HOLY FUCK!!!! THIS IS SO GOOD THIS IS ONE OF HER BEST DUETS IM LOSING MY SHIT this song is incredible I am in LOVE

My tears ricochet

TRACK 5 TRACK 5 TRACK 5 AHH I LOVE HOW DEEP HER VOICE GOES AND THE BACKGROUND VOCALS OMG. Oh my god the chorus I am in love, I love her voice sounds so raw on this album, we haven’t heard that in years IF I’M DEAD TO YOU WHY ARE YOU AT THE WAKE CURSING MY NAME?? OMG. This is fully giving me like fae woodland imagery I just love it, the vibes of it all!  AS YOU BURY ME? OH MY GOD IS SHE A GHOST IM SCREAMING I LOVE THIS PERSPECTIVE. HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK THE BRIDGE!!!!!!!! THE LINES ABOUT SCREAMING. THE BRIDGE IS UNBELIEVABLE AND THE WAY IT JUST FADES OUT I?

Mirrorball

Omg I love the vocal effects! This is full indie pop vibes I AM DIGGING IT. OH MY GOD THE CHORUS BROOO OK I OFFICIALLY LOVE THIS SONG IT’S EXACTLY THE KIND OF MUSIC I LIKE LISTENING TO. ‘Drunk as they watch my shadow, edges glisten’ oh wow the lyrics in this album are fucking otherworldly. Oh fuck this is  agood bridge. I really cannot wait for all the analysis of this album by smarter people because I am not understanding BUT I AM LOVING IT. ALSO IDK WHAT A MIRRORBALL IS BUT I LOVE IT ANYWAY. How does she know such fancy words, I want her brain

Seven

‘I ht my peak at seven’ ok but same? HEYY SHE MENTIONED MOON AND SATURN I AM LIVINGGGGG. It’s so soft and wistful, those are the vibes of this album so far and I am really LOVING IT. PLEASE PICTURE ME IN THE WEEDS BEFORE I LEARNED CIVILITIY I USED TO SCREAM FEROCIOUSLY ANY TIME I WANTED?? IM YELLING I LOVEEEEE THESE LYRICS OH MY GOODNESS

August

ONCE AGAIN I LOVE THE VOCAL EFFECTS, I LOVE THE WAY HER VOICE SOUNDS.  Omg the chorus is catchy! I love the way she sings ‘I can see’! OK THSI SONG IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITES I MEAN JUST LISTEN TO IT? I HAVE BEEN IN A STATE OF SHOCK SINCE LAST NIGHT BUT THIS IS MAGICAL ETHEREAL GROUNDBREAKING NEVER BEFORE SEEN INCREDIBLE PERFECT. OHH GOD THE BRIDGE IS COMNIG UP- YES IT’S AJFDSNAFKJSDFAF SHE WROTE THIS SONG IITS’ SO GOOD MISDFN JASDNFLJK SO MUCH FOR SUMMER LOVE AND SAYING US CAUSE U WERENT MINE TO LOSE!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TAYLOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is one fo her best songs ever EVER OMG AND THE BACKING VOCALS AT THE END AHH AND THE BEAT DROP TAYLOR WHAT THE FUCK YOU’VE OUTDONE YOURSELF A G A I N ??? IM NEVER GONNA RECOVER FROM THIS FUCK

This is me trying

Firstly, this song title is such a mood, especially this year. The beat in this song s so good - THIS SICK BEAT. AHH THERE IS THS COOL INSTRUMENT IS IT A VIOLIN IDK BUT I LOVE IT OMG. ‘THEY TOLD ME ALL OF MY CAGES WERE MENTAL SO I GOT WASTED LIKE ALL MY POTENTIAL AND MY WORDS SHOOT TO KILL WHEN I’M BAD I HAVE A LOT OF REGRETS ABOUT THAT II WAS SO AHEAD OF THE CURVE THAT THE CURVE BECAME A SPHERE I FELL BEHIND ON MY CLASS LATE UNTIL I ENDED UP HERE POURING OUT MY HEART TO A STRANGER BUT I DIDNT POUR THE WHISKEY! Oh god the ‘AT LEAST IM TRYING’ MAAAAM. THAT LAST VERSE FUCK FUCK FUF ASJDO FUCK THE BUILD UP. Listen I don’t know what the fuck this song is about but I do know that I love it I ADORE IT I FEEL LIKE EVERY SONG IS BETTER THAN THE LAST WHAT THE FUCK

Illicit affairs

I’m so intrigued by the title of this song! I LOVE the guitar in this song omg it’s so soft and wistful? IT DIES A MIIIILLIOON LITTLE TIMES……….. I love the little falsettos, that you picked out just for HIM! Take the words for what they are, a dwindling mercurial HIGH a drug that only worked the first few hundred times AND THAT’S THE THING ABOUT ILLICIT AFFAIRS AND CLANDESTINE MEETINGS AND STOLEN STARES they show their truth one single time BUT THEY LIE AND THEY LIE AND THEY LIE A MIILION LITTLE TIMES. LOOK AT THIS IDIOTIC FOOL THAT YOU MADE ME YOU TAUGHT ME A SECRET LANGUAGE I CAN’T SPEAK WITH ANYONE ELSE and you know damn well for you I would ruin myself a million little times. Holy fuck I have 0 words this is. Unbelievable it’s sunning I LOVE the bridge? I?

Invisible string

Oh lord I am not ready for this one. I love the way she sings the pre chorus! Were the CLUUUES I didn’t see—ee-ee. Omg this song is actually so cute. CHAINS AROUND MY DEMONS? WOOL TO BRAVE THE SEASONS? HOW THE FUCK DID SHE WRITE THIS IT’S SO GOOD IM SPEECHLESS also I LOVE the strings in this song, I love the production of this entire album tbh. It’s so chill and stripped back and it makes you focus on her vocals which sound soooo good.

Mad woman

TAYLOR SAID FUCK TAYLOR SAID FUCK TAYLOR SAID FUCK IM LIVINNGGGGG. ANYYWAY I LOOOVE THIS IM DIGGING ITTT I LOVE THE CHORUS EEEEK. the second verse omg I love the anger, the bitterness, you can HEAR it in her voice! It’s obvious that wanting me dead has already brought you two together??? EEK THE BRIDGE a spinster? What a shame she went mad… YOU MADE HER LIKE THAT OMG BITCH

Epiphany

Omg the intro build up - I love it. This sounds like a church choir? Is this about a soldier in war? What? It reminds me of Dunkirk or something omg. This is again so haunting, very slow and the piano only adds to the somber tone

Betty

WHO? IS? BETTY??????? Oh hey this is a gentle intro with this instrument that sounds familiar but idk what it is but I love it. I love the melody in this omg!  SHE SAID FUCK AGAIN SHE SAID FUCK AGAI NOGAS JDFHLDSDKFLD TAYLORRRRRR WOULD YOU TELL ME TO GO FUCK MYSELF??? IM ONLY 17 I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING BUT I KNNOW MISS YOU! BITCH!!!!!!!! This is about like a lost first love! Anyway I really looove how her voice sounds in this and the melody…. I DREAMT OF YOU ALL SUMMER LONG OMG THE BRIDGE IS INCREDIBLE!!!!! Omg awww the only thing I wanna do is make it up to you so I showed up at your party?? AHH THE KEY CHANGE INI THE LAST CHORUS EEEEKKKKKK OMGGGGG WILL IT PATCH YOUR BROKEN WINGS I’M ONLY 17 IDK ANYTHING BUT I KNOW I MISS YOU OMG THE REFERENCE TO A CARDIGAN AGAIN!!!!!!!! AND THE STREETLIGHT! IM YELLING I LOVE THE PARALLELS AND THE MOTIFS and you can just hear the childish innocence int his song, I love it

Peace

This intro is SO COOL AND I AM VIBING HARD TO IT, I LOVE THE GUITAR IN THE BACKGROUND? Ok oh god I really like this one. The devil’s in the details but you got a friend in me I— THIS CHORUS IS AMAZING I ADORE IT. Omg this might be one of my favourites. Holy fuck I cannot get over how good the lyrics in this album are!!!!!!! I TALK SHIT WITH MY FRIENDS IT’S LIKE I’M WASTING YOUR HONOUR! Sit with you in the TRENCHES? Omg! WHAT IS THIS ABOUT I AM YELLING!!!!!!!!! ‘Clowns to the west’ oh hey that’s me. EEK THE SOFT KEYBOARD IN THE BACKGROUND - YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hoax

Last song? Ma’am I am not ready!!!!!!!!! THE PIANO IN THIS OMG. The chorus….. it’s beautiful……….. YOUR FAITHLESS LOVE’S THE ONLY HOAX I BELIEVE IN OH MY GODDDD. I’m yelling I love this so much. I loooove the angst of the chorus, the resignation that this is the one love she wants, even if it’s faithless!  ‘You know I left a part of me back in New York’… THE LOUIS TOMLINSON PARALLEL DAFJKHASFKADS (I know you left a part of you in New York). ‘What you didd was just as hard’ omg what did he doooo?? MY KINGDOM COME UNDONE AHHHHH YOU HAVE BEATEN MY HEART! WHY IS THIS SONG SO BITTERSWEET IM ???????

#leanne speaks #folklore #folklore lb

[heartofsnark]

This Is Love (Chapter One): Welcome to Hope County

Notes: Soooo, I’ve been talking about this for a bit and it’s time to just take the jump and start publishing my Far Cry 5 fic. I hope you enjoy. Also, i have like a series warning for this that will be on every chapter cause it needs it. 

Summary: Dahlia Hale is the youngest person working at the Hope County Sheriff’s Department. Hailing from a small town in Louisiana, it’s going to take her some time to fully acclimate to the new environment and living on her own. Developing friendships takes time even for the most functional of people and for disasters like Dahlia it takes even longer. She gets along with her coworkers and there’s some religious family who’s taken a shine to her, for some reason. It seems like she’s on her way to getting the kind of friends she’s only ever dreamed about, even if it’s going to take some more time. 

Then everything goes to shit. 

Halfway through her six-month probationary hire and that nice religious family has kicked off a holy war with her becoming enemy number one.

To one side she’s a hero. 

To the other she’s a monster. She’s not sure which is right. 

Word Count: 9,290

Series Warning: I usually do not like to spoil endgame pairings in my fics, but this warrants being up front. This series is polyseed and involves heavy, recurrent themes of at times romanticized noncon, dubcon, large age differences, and stockholm syndrome that develops into a romantic relationship. The relationship between my oc and the Seeds is extremely unhealthy, toxic, and should never be replicated or sought out in real life. No matter how things progress or how they are portrayed at different points, this fact remains the same. i am comfortable exploring and enjoying these themes in fiction, not everyone is. If you are uncomfortable with or triggered by any of these things, please skip this and take the precautions you feel necessary to avoid this material. If you are an individual who struggles with separating reality and fiction; please do not read this. Otherwise, if you’re comfortable with and enjoy that kind of content, please enjoy. 

Chapter Warnings: Bliss flowers, hallucinations, threats of violence (really not bad compared to whats to come)

A shiver rolls down Dahlia’s spine, the chill of the Montana night settling into her bones. A sign welcomes her to Hope County, her motorcycle tire spinning dirt at it as she passes. The moon shines bright in the sky, cascading silver light down on everything. It’s beautiful despite the cold, light reflecting off the lakes and streams that pass through the county.  

It’s mostly woods and forests, fields of big white flowers and animals wandering through. The entire county is begging to be put on a postcard, from the animals, to the fields, to the…giant cement statue of a guy with a manbun…

Her tires squeal as she comes to a stop on the thankfully vacant road, she pushes the visor of her helmet up, as if the tint could cause her to see something like this. Sure enough, the white hunk of stone is still there. It’s of a man with his hair pulled back in a small bun, in one hand he holds a book and the other gestures outward. 

Hair raises on the back of her neck and goosebumps collect across her skin, the statue is…eerie. It looms across the entire region, a creeping specter. Unnerving doesn’t even begin to describe it, her body has started to lean towards it, almost drawn to it. 

Maybe it’s a historical figure for the county? People do that right, build monuments to founders or something. The clothes of the figure seem old fashioned, but she’s not sure about how far back the manbun goes.

She shakes her head and slaps her visor back down, she needs sleep. It shouldn’t be much further to her hotel. Dahlia revs her engine and rushes off that way, finally finding the large wooden hotel with its red roof. There’s a large wooden sign welcoming her to the King’s Hot Spring Hotel, the parking lot is decidedly vacant, and she comes to a stop by the smaller stone black sign that sits close to the larger wooden one, easy to overlook if someone wasn’t looking close enough. 

“King’s Hot Spring Hotel

On May 12th, 1902 a 7.6 earthquake struck the mountain south of the hotel. It created a 10 million ton landslide that sliced a deep crevice in the earth and destroyed half the King’s hotel. 16 people were killed in the landslide, their bodies never recovered. To this day, their ghosts are said to haunt the site of the rebuilt hotel. 

Built 1866.”

So, from a dirty cockroach motel to a haunted hotel, certainly a step up. She doesn’t really believe in ghosts, they’re cool as all hell, she loves creepy shit. But she doesn’t think any of it is real and if she’s wrong, maybe the ghosts will be nice enough to kill her. She parks her bike and shuts off the engine, unclipping her storage bag from it and making her way to the door. 

The inside feels warm and welcoming, rustic. A large stone fireplace with a bear skin rug in front of it, wooden stairs leading to the upper floors. Her eyes scan the room and she finds a registration desk where a woman sits, reading from a white book. She stands out slightly in the old styled hotel, tattoos covering her arms. The woman’s light, almost milky, green eyes, look up to see Dahlia as she makes her way to the desk. 

“I called ahead and reserved a room for tonight.” 

“Hale, right?” The girl flashes a soft smile as she slides the registration forms across the desk and Dahlia finds herself looking down at the receptionist’s arms, SLOTH and ENVY with strikes through them; half tattooed and half scarred in the woman’s skin. Heavy-handed work. 

“Yeah, that’s me, how’d you know?” 

“Oh, not many folks check in here anymore, between the ghost tales and the new management.” 

“Management?” Dahlia raises an eyebrow as she finishes scribbling in her info and handing her card over. 

“Here,” the woman hands Dahlia’s card back along with a room key and a map, “I’m sure you’ll find the path.” 

“Uhh…thanks…” 

She shakes her head as she leaves the desk, doing a double take at the worker, who’s now back to reading the large white tome with a soft smile on her face. Dahlia is entirely too tired to deal with weird cryptic people, maybe she’s trying to play up the creepy factor of the supposedly haunted hotel. Probably intrigues the tourists or some shit. She takes her phone from her pocket, ringing Lloyd as she walks to her room. 

“Hey, Stray,” He greets her with the nickname he gave her and she already feels a little better despite the chill and exhaustion. 

“Hey,” Dahlia unlocks her room and strides in, there’s a deer head mounted on the wall and a vase of those white flowers on the bedside drawer, “just wanted to let you know that I am officially in Hope County.” 

She tosses her luggage, along with the gunk the receptionist gave her onto the bed and does a fist bump for no one’s benefit but her own. 

“That’s good, your interview is tomorrow, right?” 

“Yeah, hopefully it’ll go well, if not it might be another year of me eating cheese puffs on your couch.” 

“You make it sound like you’re some sort of bum.” 

“I mean…” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’m gonna be a mess when you go.” 

“If I go, still gotta get the job.” 

“You’re gonna nail it, I know it, me and Earl were friends way back. He’s not dumb enough to let you go. And if he is, well, I’ll be having some words with him.”

“You can’t fight someone for not wanting to hire me.” 

“I mean, I can, uh, yeah, sweetie it’s stray, I was kinda, oh Caroline wants-“ 

“Stray, did you throw your fucking phone away?” Caroline, Lloyd’s wife, is on the phone in a second, worriedly yelling. 

“I talked to you when I stopped off in Denver.” 

“Yeah, in a dingy nasty motel and then we didn’t hear a word from you for over twelve fucking hours!” 

“I’m pretty sure I could handle myself,” Dahlia laughs and rolls her eyes, the concern is appreciated but unneeded. She’s a cop and despite her short stature, she’s got muscles and knows how to protect her. Maybe it’s cocky and arrogant, but at this point in her life, she’s not afraid of anything hurting her physically, mentally and emotionally is a whole other ballpark. 

“Still, what if you were in an accident. Have you ate? Do you know where you’re eating tonight?” 

She ate back in Denver and her stomach is growling now, but she mostly just wants a shower and sleep. She’d rather just grab room service for breakfast. 

“I’m fine, I’ve ate and I will eat. Stop worrying, now I’m gonna get settled in for the night, I’ll call you after the interview.” 

“Wait, ha-”

“Goodbye, mon cher,” Dahlia ends the call after her casual term of endearment, cher and mon cher as normal to her as bud or pal. Maybe it’s just a Cajun French Louisiana thing, or it’s one of the many things she picked up from her dad. She instinctively plays with the ring that hangs from a chain around her neck, he was always so proud of where he came from, teaching her Cajun French from the moment she could talk. Would he be upset with her leaving the state? 

She shakes the thought from her head, she can’t concern herself with the opinions of people who aren’t here, as much as they’d mean to her. Dahlia finally has the tools to be independent and make her own way in this world, she needs to seize any and every opportunity. She double checks that her door is locked, before stripping out of her clothes. 

Dahlia sets her phone to play music as she takes a shower, singing along to it as hot water eases her aching muscles. Once she’s cleaned, she dries off and starts to make her way to the bed where her luggage is. 

The large white blooms on the table between the bed and window, draw her eye, her suspicion confirmed that they’re the same as the fields of flowers she saw on her way here. They must be a common flower here. She’s not a plant person, but she can appreciate pretty flowers when she sees them. The petals are soft against her finger and she pulls out one of the fresh flowers, sniffing at it. It tickles her nose, the soft scent pleasant, but it makes her want to sneeze. She tucks it back in the vase and scrubs at her nose.

Her vision swims for a moment, suddenly light-headed. She hasn’t slept much and has been driving a lot, her eyes must be tired as well. 

Dahlia digs some comfy sleeping clothes from her bag to change into. Content in her shorts and tee, the hotel much warmer than the outside chill. She pushes her luggage off her bed and takes a look at the Hope County map.  

Her vision is still swimming but she reaffirms where she needs to be tomorrow for her interview. It’s over in Fall’s End at the Sheriff’s Department. Dahlia fishes a marker out of her discarded jacket pocket and then starts to write directions down on her right forearm before tucking the map away. 

She rifles a cigarette from her quickly emptying pack, most places don’t like their hotel rooms stinking like nicotine.

Cool air rushes in as she opens the window, she leans against the windowsill, appreciating the view of the moonlight reflecting in the pool of spring water. Montana really is beautiful. 

She lights her cigarette, looking away for a second to ignite it. 

“Ooooh ooooh~” A soft melodic voice drifts in, piercing the quiet, and Dahlia’s head snaps back to the window. 

In the grass, a woman surrounded by green mist spins and dances, singing softly into the night. She’s young, but still older than Dahlia with dirty blonde hair that falls past her shoulders. A white lace dress with flowers across the waist and skirt. Illuminated by moonlight, a heavenly glow, angelic but singing a siren’s song. 

Who would be out there at this time of night?

Dahlia’s the only one in the hotel and she doubts the staff indulges in nightly dance sessions. 

When did Dahlia start leaning further out the window? 

Every fiber of her being screams at her to run to the woman. To jump out the window if she has to, anything to get closer to the hauntingly beautiful woman dancing along the decks before the spring. 

Dahlia slams the window shut, quick and hard enough to rattle it. It’s late, she’s exhausted, she’s ridden her bike almost twenty-eight hours straight. Only stopping for a late night in a shitty hotel in Denver before getting back on the road at eight am this morning. 

Between ghost stories and exhaustion her brain is fucking with her. 

The woman’s singing is still there. 

Softer now but still present, still beckoning. 

Every muscle in her body is tense, prepared to bolt in order to go find that woman. 

She smashes her fist against the side of her head, the impact of her knuckles rattling her skull as she literally tries to knock sense into herself. Her visions seem to clear a bit and she can’t hear the singing anymore, but she also might have concussed herself. 

Her cigarette is stamped out before she’s even halfway through it and she’s setting her phone alarm before jumping into the bed. 

She buries her face in the pillow, no matter what she hears or thinks she’ll see, she’s not going anywhere until the morning. This interview is the most stressful thing she’s dealt with in years, so much rides on it, and she can’t be exhausted tomorrow from chasing fairy ghosts or what the fuck ever. 

Her mind is just playing tricks on her, it’s an asshole, it does that. 

She’s not certain exactly when she fell asleep, but the next thing she knows her alarm is going off. Dahlia groans and forces herself out of bed, she hates waking up. Her interview isn’t even late, but god, fuck waking up. 

Her head is clearer now, no swimming in her vision and no singing or sirens. She forces her way out of bed, groggily trying to go about her day. 

She’s running late, she’s always running late, time isn’t real.

After taking her sweet sleepy time to get herself put together and inhaling a room service breakfast, Dahlia is running down the hotel stairs and scrubbing syrup off her chin. Why does she do this to herself? The receptionist calls out something and she waves her off. 

Helmet slapped on and engine revving, she guns it out of the parking lot and makes her way to towards the Valley. She comes to a bridge and pulls her arm from her jacket to read her scribbled directions, remembering too late that she can’t read her own handwriting. 

She squints trying to decipher what the hell she wrote, her chicken scratch leaving a lot to be desired. It looks like it might say she’s going to Holland Valley or Halland Volley or Hallard, something to that effect by crossing the Honne…Benne…Rover….Dridge… Why does she do this to herself?

She’s probably on the right track, probably. Dahlia readjusts her jacket, confirming that her mess of directions won’t be getting any clearer the longer she stares at it and makes her way over the bridge. More signs hang from the inner framework of the bridge, half of them bearing a cross symbol with what looks like sunbeams coming from the center, the other half states The Power Of YES; Take The Leap.

Heebie jeebies nest in her gut, those goosebumps from earlier coming back. Religion…

Maybe it was too optimistic, but she had hoped further up North she’d see less of…that. She did searches online and was told based on some statistical thing that Montana was less religious than Louisiana. But apparently religion isn’t completely avoidable in the United States. 

The crisp smell of apples manages to break through her helmet as she leaves the bridge. Apple trees as far as the eye can see, bright red fruit gleaming under sunlight, a giant orchard surrounds the road. People mill about the apple trees; couples holding hands and parents hefting their children up on their shoulders to pick the highest apples their little hands can reach. A few people look at her as she rides past, the rev of her engine and the music pounding from her helmet drawing attention. Some looks are judgmental, others unconcerned, a small kid waves at her as she passes by and she waves back, smile teasing at the corners of her mouth. There’s a constructed Apple Statue in the orchard, noting that she’s riding through the Gardenview Orchard.

Over the horizon, built into the hills of the Holland Valley is a giant Hollywood style sign that says ‘YES’. It’s infinitely less creepy than the weird man statue, but far cheesier. Whether that’s better or worse? Who knows, but Hope County is definitely…weirder than she anticipated. 

She passes through the orchard and coming up on the left apple trees are replaced with pumpkins on the ground. Fields growing them, some clearly bigger and further along in the growing process, none fully ripe, however. A house is built among the fields, one fence with a sign that says Rae-Rae’s Pumpkin Farm. 

There’s a couple walking around, holding hands, but more importantly there’s a dog. A mottled coat of black, white, and blue gray with a bandana around their neck. The dog’s head raises at the rev of Dahlia’s motorcycle engine passing by on the road, tail wagging but he doesn’t run out, a well-trained doggo. 

She’s running late. 

She doesn’t have time. 

One pet can’t hurt. 

Dahlia comes to a screeching halt, tires squealing and bracing herself against her handlebars of her bike so she doesn’t fly across the farm. The couple taken aback, staring wide-eyed at her as she kills her music and yanks off her helmet. The doggie is still wagging its tail, eager to meet their new friend. 

“Can I pet your dog?” 

The couple is older, by Dahlia standards, so probably around their thirties…or forties…or twenties…ages confuse her. A woman with short sandy hair and a man with a knit hat over his head, the woman’s dropped jaw becomes a soft smile, her eyes gentle. 

“Of course,” a thick southern accent tints her voice, “Boomer’s doesn’t know a stranger.” 

Dahlia stays outside the wooden fence, not wanting to step on crops or something, but she leans over it. Boomer’s big brown eyes landing on her, so cute, she already loves him. A few coos and he’s already rushing over, standing to put his paws at the top of the fence so he can get some much-deserved love. She pets the top of his head, scratching behind his ears and around his neck. He eagerly leans into scritch and pet, licking her. 

“Awww, such a good boy, yes you are,” she praises and laughs, soaking it in. Even if she’s running late, this is more than worth it. 

“You’re not from around here, are you?” The woman asks. 

“Nah, here for a job interview,” Dahlia answers, hugging around Boomer’s neck as she snuggles him. 

“Where you interviewing at?” 

“Sheriff’s department.” 

“You’re kind of young for a cop, ain’tcha?”

“I’m an adult,” she says, shrugging her shoulders through the hug. She is a young adult and that’s all that needs to be said on that. 

“They finally trying to fill that deputy position?” 

“Seems like it.” 

“Sorry, to brush you off so soon, but we have to go pick up some equipment before noon and we’re already cutting it close.” 

Shit, right, time. She’s running late too, but the dog was worth it. 

“No problem, have a good one, you keep being a good boy, Boomer.” 

She gives a final scratch to his head, then slides her helmet back on, waving off the couple as she hops back on her bike. Her nerves have eased slightly at having gotten some time with a dog and even if she’s late, she doesn’t regret it. 

Her engine revs and she’s back to traveling down the quiet Montana roads. The sheriff’s department is in Fall’s End. A water tower baring the town’s name lets her know she’s arrived in the right area. It’s not a huge town. Along the main road, there’s the sheriff’s department, a general store, a bar, a church. There’s little streets and roadways showing that beyond those there’s houses and an apartment complex. Not huge, but certainly bigger than where she’s from, which…isn’t saying much. 

Dahlia parks her motorcycle outside the sheriff’s department, all those initially dissipated nerves are bubbling back to the surface. Her stomach in absolute knots and her muscles tense with anxiety. She shuts off her bike and pockets her keys then pulls off her helmet, fiddling with her hair. A deep breath, before she finally steels herself to step into the building.  

There’s a desk to Dahlia’s right when she enters the building, an older woman with a layered bob of red hair. 

“There something I can help you with, darling?” Her southern accented voice asks. 

“I have an interview with the sheriff.”

“Really,” the woman’s eyes scan Dahlia up and down, eyebrows furrowed in judgement, “can I get your name?” 

“Hale,” she murmurs, once again fiddling with her messy strands of dark hair. She knows she doesn’t exactly look the most professional right now. But professional clothes and motorcycles don’t truly mix. The woman, her desk tag says N. McClure, shuffles through some documents and reads over something. 

“Okay, just take a seat and I’ll let Earl know you’re here.”

Dahlia plops down in one of the reception area’s chairs, fiddling with the cat ears on her motorcycle helmet. Her leg bounces up and down, shaking out excess energy as the woman at the desk starts to call back, asking for Whitehorse. It’ll be fine, Dahlia reassures herself, Lloyd and Caroline have been talking her up to their old friend. All she needs to do is be herself, maybe, probably not. She’s kind of a mess. 

The clock hand ticks slowly, Dahlia feeling like she’s about to go crazy waiting for her interview to start. Finally, the woman hangs up the phone she was calling back to Whitehorse on, a soft smile on her face that pulls at the wrinkles around her eyes. 

“Earl’s ready to talk to you, come on back.”

The older woman steps out and helps show Dahlia to the office door, passing through a bullpen style office area to get there, Sheriff Whitehorse is scrawled on a plaque by the door. Dahlia knocks and he tells her to come on in, she slowly opens the door and steps in. There’s a modest sized quaint office with only a few personal touches. She’s only seen old photos Lloyd had of himself and Whitehorse, from way back in police academy. The man before her is much older than he was in those photos, weathered with wrinkled skin. He looks like an old sheriff pulled directly from a movie; green uniform, cowboy hat, scraggly brown hair, and a mustache.

“You’re Lloyd and Caroline’s Stray, right?” He says, standing up from his desk to shake her hand over it. He’s over a foot taller than her, probably close to a foot and a half. His hand swallows her own whole, it’s probably bigger than her face. 

“Holy shit, you’re tall.” 

That’s not a good way to start an interview, but he seems to be laughing and smiling. So, maybe it’s fine. Lloyd once said she has a charm about her despite her lack of tact or decorum. She’s still trying to figure out what that charm is, but still. 

“Go ahead and take a seat,” he says, gesturing at the chair in front of his desk. She follows suit, leg still bouncing like it was in the waiting room. Whitehorse puts a manilla folder down on the desk, the little tab labeled D. Hale. It’s surprisingly thick for someone who’s never met her in person. 

“Lloyd and Caroline talk highly of you, hell the whole town does.” 

“The whole town…?” She raises an eyebrow, what’s that supposed to mean? Reinette, Louisiana is a small town, it’s police department has about six people in total and everyone knows everyone. But certainly, they wouldn’t call up Whitehorse to talk about her. 

“I swear Lloyd must have handed out the stations number to everyone down there, we’ve been getting two, three calls a day of people who can’t say enough good things about you.” 

“Oh god.” Heat flushes up Dahlia’s cheeks, god damn it, Lloyd. 

“You’ve left quite an impression on the place.” 

“Uh, yeah, I guess.” Dahlia pushes some hair off her face, fidgeting with the locks.

“And you haven’t been working there long, have you?”

“Not counting training, about a year and a half, I know I don’t have much experience.” 

“Still making such an impact in a short amount of time, says something.” 

“Thanks.” His words soothe her nerves and embarrassment a bit, maybe this will go well.

“But, there’s the issue of your record…”

“My record…?” She shouldn’t have a record, he opens the manilla folder and she feels bile raise in the back of her throat. 

“Between what’s on the books and what everyone was saying, I was starting to wonder if there were two of you, Hale. Runaways, break in, fights, attempted grand theft auto, and petty thefts, the list goes on. Doesn’t exactly scream future cop.” 

“I thought records got expunged at eighteen.”

“If you request it.” 

“Oh…well then…”

“I know this all happened when you were a minor and you’ve been clear for the past two or so years, but…”

“It still looks bad, I know, I know. I’m not going to try to tell you some bullshit excuse or sob story. I did a lot of shit I shouldn’t have for a lot of reasons. I regret most of it, not all of it, but most of it. Lloyd and Caroline helped me get my life back on track, I know two years doesn’t seem like a long time, but I’m not the same kid I was when I did that shit.”

That what she tells him, but she’s not sure how much she believes it. It feels more like her situation’s changed than she’s changed, but if she just said that she’s no longer a delinquent because she doesn’t need to be, well, it wouldn’t sound as good or employable. 

“What made you wanna be a cop?”

“Wanted to help people,” she answers with a shrug, it’s not really anything more complicated than that. Whitehorse huffs out what sounds like a laugh, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Okay, I gotta ask, why here? Lloyd and the whole town loves you. It’s a hell of a move and the pay raise ain’t much.”

“Look,” she sighs and folds her hands on top of her motorcycle helmet, calming her body down, “I love Reinette, I love Lloyd and I love Caroline. I owe them and the whole town a debt that I’ll never pay back. But, I’m twenty years old. I’m not their kid and even if I was it’d be time for me to go, I’ve taken enough of their time, money, and everything. Reinette, bless the town’s heart, it’s...dying. There’s more cows than people, our station has more cars than officers. It won’t be long before they do away with the town’s department and just do everything through the Parish. And the parish’s department doesn’t need any more officers.”

Her throat constricts as bile raises in the back of it, her stomach churning. After everything that town and its people have done for her, she’s leaving them. A traitor, betrayer. 

“You figure any of those officers will even find work in the parish, at all?” He asks with a knowing, soft look in his eye. If he keeps in contact with Lloyd, he’s already well aware of the trouble in Reinette. 

“I doubt it, town’s a sinking ship. Lloyd…he’s willing to go down with it,” her eyes sting and she clenches her jaw, containing herself, “I can’t do that. As much as they all mean to me, I can’t. Lloyd’s gonna retire when it goes under, I’m twenty, the fuck am I supposed to do? I’m trying to help people; I’m trying to make a difference. But my hands keep getting tied because of money, resources, anything and everything. Lloyd and Caroline gave me the means and the tools to make something of myself, I’m not gonna piss that away because some fucker decided we weren’t worth investing in, I…”

She’s clenching her fists and nearly smacking her helmet, anger and frustration welling up inside of her, a geyser of emotions threatening to break through. This is an interview, she can’t do this, can’t be emotional. She needs to stop this, a deep breath before she starts to speak again. 

“I can do more here, I know no place is perfect, but I can do more here.” 

“Well, no one can say you’re not passionate.” Whitehorse lets out another chuckle, seemingly amused. 

“Sorry, certain shit, just winds me up.” She massages the back of her neck, why is she such a fucking idiot? No one wants to hire a cop who can’t keep their cool and throws a fit. She was supposed to tone down her dumbassery, not ramp it up. 

“There’s nothing wrong with caring about what you’re doing.”

“Yeah…” She half-heartedly agrees, Whitehorse is trying to make her feel better. Her interview has become him trying to console her, absolutely pathetic. She might as well call Lloyd and Caroline now and tell them she blew it. 

“You got any questions for me?” 

“Uh…”

Did she just fuck this up as bad as she thinks she did?

 “Not really, I just wanna get to work.” That earns her another chuckle from Whitehorse, even if he doesn’t think she’s competent, at least she’s entertaining it seems. 

“Full of piss and vinegar, ain’t ya?” 

“To say the least.” She lets out a dry laugh, but there’s no mirth of joy behind it. Not a shred of happiness as she thinks about what a fucking idiot she is. 

“Well, if that’s all,” Whitehorse stands up from his desk, “I’ll go ahead and show you out.” 

Dahlia stands up, the sheriff places a large hand on her back as they leave his office, finding their way back into the reception area. 

“It was nice to finally meet you, Hale.” 

“Same, thanks for taking the time to talk to me.” She’s sure that he’d rather be doing literally anything else, especially after that beyond trash interview. 

“It’s no problem at all, I-”

The doors to the department open, a man and a woman in green deputy uniforms coming in. Another giant, the man is barely an inch of two shorter than Whitehorse, with shaggy dark hair and hazel eyes. More importantly, the woman while taller doesn’t absolutely tower over Dahlia, her long black hair is braided over her shoulder and her olive skin makes her hunter green eyes stand out all the more. 

Dahlia’s throat feels tight and her heart race is a little faster. So…that’s a thing. 

“We running a daycare, now?” The guy asks, looking down his nose at Dahlia, though that might just be because of the height difference. Either way, she glares at him, he’s been around her a grand total of five seconds and he’s being a dick. 

“Pratt…” The woman, her name tag says J. Hudson, rolls her eyes at him. Her voice is warm and rich; why is Dahlia’s face so hot? Is she sick? Has the Montana weather already kicked her ass, what is this?

“This is one of the interviewees. Hale, these are my deputies.” 

“Nice to meet you.” Hudson flashes a soft smile and what is Dahlia’s heart doing? It’s like someone’s squeezing it and filled her gut with bugs while they were at it. She fucks up an interview and now she needs a doctor, great. 

“Same, I was, uh, just on my way out actually.” She needs to go sleep off whatever the fuck has just hit her. 

“Good luck,” the taller woman gives a friendly tap to Dahlia’s bicep, “hopefully we’ll be seeing more of you around here.” 

Dahlia is dying.

That’s the only explanation. She fucked up an interview and now she has the heart plague or some shit, hell of a day. 

“Uh, yeah, I, um, ‘preciate it.” She’s avoiding eye contact and she doesn’t know why she's stumbling over her words and she doesn’t know why.

“Pssh,” Pratt scoffs, “she’s gonna need it.” 

Suddenly, she can talk again. Weird. Hudson and Whitehorse shake their heads, clearly use to his bullshit

“Sorry about Pratt, he’s, well he’s Pratt.” 

“Eh, every station has at least one cop who’s just trying to make up for his tiny dick.” 

“I assure you, I-”

“Enough,” Whitehorse cuts him off, talking like he’s breaking up a child’s squabbling. Doesn’t really help make her look any more mature or competent, way to steer into the skid, Dahlia. 

“For the millionth time, no one wants to hear about your dick, Pratt.” Hudson rolls her eyes, why is that being said for the millionth time?

“Well, that’s certainly my cue to go, have a good one.” 

Dahlia quickly waves off the sheriff and deputies, making her escape. She takes the couple steps to her motorcycle with quick rigid movement, making sure she’s away from windows or the glass door, not wanting any of them to see her. 

She lets out a low guttural groan muffled by how tightly her jaw is clenched jaw and knocks her knuckles against the back of her head. 

Idiot, she fucked everything up by going on some huge ass fucking rant. 

Despite the distance, this was a phenomenal opportunity the best she’s had. It’s not like she hasn’t looked into place in Louisiana, but something is always wrong. She’s never made it as far as the interview. Either she never gets a call back, maybe they’d seen her records the same way Whitehorse did and didn’t even bother giving her that chance. Or she’d learn the town, parish, city, whatever was no better off than Reinette. One of the sheriffs she talked to on the phone knew her stepfather and recognized her name, nearly making her puke before she hung up. 

This was beyond a shadow of a doubt the best chance she’s had. Whitehorse has the Lloyd seal of approval which is as good as gold. And as much as the distance is guilt inducing…, the fear of betrayal and abandoning people who mean so much to her. But, she needs somewhere far away. 

As many good memories as Lloyd, Caroline, and the people of Reinette have given her. There are still too many bad ones, too many people figuring out where she came from, one too many bad memories trying to be more than just that. As much as it may eat her up to leave, it’ll eat her up even more to stay. Between the impending unemployment and her own past, every good moment there has a shadow looming over it. 

When she gets back to Reinette she’ll start working to get her record taken care of. Once that’s settled, it’s back to job hunting. A bump in the road, a moment of frustration, but she’ll come out the other end. She always does. 

Her stomach growls, burning through a pack of cigarettes and stress binge eating sound like a great way to deal with this. She’ll find some place to stuff her face and call Lloyd once she gets back to the hotel. 

There’s a general store, she doesn’t know if the bar lets minors in, so it’s probably her best place to grab some quick snack. She plops her helmet on and makes the short drive to the store, parking her bike outside and pulling her helmet back off to light a cigarette by the dumpsters. Her stressed brain is desperately craving nicotine. 

She rips open her pack of cigarettes and lights one up, bringing it to her lips. Smoke pools in her lungs, clawing to her insides and easing her nerves if only for a second. Holding it there for a moment before breathing it out into the air. Her eyes are drawn to the neon sign of The Spread Eagle bar, even bright in the daylight. It also seems to have some activity despite the early hour. Well, early for a bar. A white truck pulls up in front of the building, a man with long grungy hair climbing out of the passenger seat. 

Those odd pains in her chest and churns in her stomach fade as she inhales the smoke, looking up at the clear blue sky. A soft breeze blows through, carrying the gray trails away with it. Montana really is beautiful…

“Get back here!” A woman yells out, door to the bar swinging open violent as the man with long hair comes rushing back out, arms piled high with crates of alcohol. 

Dahlia drops her cigarette and helmet, bolting towards the bar, as the thief tries to scramble into the back of the pickup truck. He gets the crates set down, but she’s grabbed the back of his shirt before he can climb in. A harsh yank, pulling the tall man back into her and away from the truck. She encircles her arms under his armpits and locks her hands behind his neck, grappling into a full nelson hold that keeps him from running off. The odd angle of these heights and the way he was yanked from the back of the truck leaves him on his knees in his grasp. 

“Someone call the sheriff’s department!” She yells out, she doesn’t have any jurisdiction here or cuffs to actually arrest the guy. 

He tries to fight back against the hold, attempting to break free, but all he manages to do is writhe and squirm. The door of the truck swings open, the driver jumping out, his feet hitting the ground with a heavy sound. Another man easily a foot or more taller than her. 

“Help me, brother Theodore,” the man in her hold struggles to beg for help. 

“We have strict orders from John Seed to confiscate this liquor.” 

“Don’t know or care who that is, mon cher.” 

“Someone like you doesn’t deserve to know him,” the guy tells her, sneering and she sees his finger twitch, brushing over the gun in his belt holster. She can’t have firearms going off in a residential area. 

“All you’ll do is end up shootin’ your friend, don’t be stupid. Liquor ain’t worth bloodshed.” 

He lets out a sigh and his hand relax, something clicking in his mind. The man, Theodore, chews his lip, eyes flickering as she nearly sees the gears turning in his head. 

“What’s going on here?” A familiar rough voice asks over Dahlia’s shoulder, she doesn’t need to look to know Whitehorse has come to investigate. Even if she did, she wouldn’t dare look away from the man in front of her, not until she’s sure he won’t try to shoot. 

“These pieces of shit peggies were trying to steal my liquor stash,” a woman explains, somewhere behind Dahlia. 

“Liquors still in the back of the truck,” Dahlia tells them, none of it seemed to break, so hopefully it won’t hurt the bar too much. 

“If it wasn’t for her, they would have cost me a month’s worth of sales.” 

“Pratt, Hudson,” Whitehorse calls the names of his deputies. 

“I got it here,” Hudson taps on Dahlia arm, cuffs in hand, and that weird heart thing is happening again. 

“Um, yeah, o-of course.” She maneuvers away from the guy, she’s never stumbled over her words like that before. Hudson cuffs the guy and starts reading his rights off. 

“Keep your hands where I can see ‘em,” Pratt barks out at the Theodore guy who's surprisingly obedient as he lets the deputy cuff him. 

Dahlia scratches at her nose, watching the scene unfold. She’s finally gotten a good look at the woman who was being robbed. 

And, not only is everyone here tall, they’re also apparently beautiful. The woman is than both Dahlia and Hudson, with honey blonde hair tucked up into a bun and soft blue eyes. Her features are soft, cherubic almost, with freckles over the bridge of her nose. 

Have women always been this pretty?

When did women start being this pretty?

The fuck is her heart doing?

“Looks like it’s a good thing you were here,” Whitehorse tells her, a soft smile tugging at his lips, “you managed to get Mary May’s liquor back and stopped it from escalating.” 

“Oh, yeah, I guess.” 

“Someone you know, sheriff?” The blonde, Mary May  asks. His smile gets wider and he squeezes Dahlia’s shoulder, a comforting touch. 

“This is my new Junior Deputy.” 

“I am?” 

He’s not serious, there’s no way, he has to be fucking with her. 

“Unless you changed your mind?” 

“Hell no,” she shakes her head, “I am the new Junior Deputy, wait, Junior?”

“You’ll start with a six-month probationary hire, paid of course, manage that and we’ll take you on permanently.” 

“Sounds good to me.” 

“You’ll start next, c’mon down to the station Mary, we’ll book ‘em and get your report in.” 

“See you around, stranger,” Mary May tells her as she follows after Whitehorse, Hudson and Pratt forcing the thieves along. Theodore shooting a glare Dahlia’s way. 

“Look forward to working with you, Rookie.” 

“Pfft, I give her a week, tops.” 

And with that, Dahlia is left alone on the road of Falls End…with a new job. 

She got the job. 

She’s got to get through the probationary hire, but she got the job. Holy shit. Holy shit. And she starts in a week. She needs to call Lloyd and Caroline, she needs to find somewhere to live, there’s so much to do. 

Dahlia is practically skipping back over to her helmet and bike. She’s gotta start getting her ducks in a row. 

She speeds her way back through Hope County, making her way back to the hotel. She has so many fucking calls to make and shit to go through. Before she knows it she’s back in the Kings Spring Hotel parking lot, fumbling to get her phone. As silly as it may be, she’d rather call Lloyd and Caroline in a less populated area. She’s grinning ear to ear, enough to hurt her cheeks, she looks like a dork and that’s not going to get any better. Helmet under her arm, she dials Lloyd as she paces in the isolated parking lot. 

“How’d it go?” Lloyd is asking before she even says hi. 

“Six months, probationary hire, then we’ll go from there.” 

‘So, you got the job?” 

“That was the bummer way of saying I got the job, yeah.” 

“I can hear you smiling!” 

“Shut it!” 

“Caroline! She got the job, yeah!” 

“I,” she rubs a hand down her face, “I thought for sure I blew it.” 

“What changed?” 

“Some bar across the street got robbed right after my interview, I stepped in, next thing I know I’m the Junior Deputy.”

“Holy fuck, do you know what that is, Stray?” 

“Dumb luck?” 

“Fate, Stray, it’s fucking fate! The world telling you that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be!” 

“You really are a sap, ain’t ya?” 

“What are you doing now?” 

“I’m staying another night here, but once I hop off I gotta start looking into where I’m gonna stay. I start in a week, so I gotta start moving, I’ll see you all in two or three days once I make the drive. It’s gonna be tight, but I’ll manage.” 

“Man, you’re really leaving.” 

“No crying.” 

“Seems like yesterday Caroline found you in the barn.” 

“No crying.” 

“You were so thin, just a little bag of bones…” His voice is choking up.

“I’m hanging up, you cry baby!” 

She does just that, smiling up at the sky. It’s happening, it’s really happening. It feels like the start of a new life, a new her. There’s a jump in her step as she makes her way back into the hotel, room service food and she’ll start making phone calls. 

“Miss Hale!” The soft lilted voice of the receptionist calls out when she sees Dahlia. 

“Oh, hey.” Dahlia walks to the desk, head tilted in question, what could she need?

“A heads up, we’re switching the water in the tank for the shower and bath system to water pumped in from the spring.” 

“Oh, that’s cool.” 

“It’s so much more relaxing than regular tap water, be sure to use it tonight.” 

“Uh yeah, thanks, by the way can I order some room service?” 

“Of course.” 

Dahlia goes through her order for room service, being assured the order will be put in and delivered before she knows it. With that she goes back up to her room, she starts digging through the bedside drawer, searching for a phone book for the area. There’s a white book in the top drawer, with that same strange cross like symbol that was on the signs along the bridge. She throws it on the bed, finding a local phone book beneath it, much more important. 

She starts rifling through pages. Hope County is mostly a trailer park town, for people who can’t afford to build or buy an actual home and land. There is an apartment complex in Falls End, but the rent is high for pretty small apartments. The prices probably jacked since housing is so limited. She’d rather get a whole trailer to herself for cheaper and just travel further for work. 

Hours pass by her making phone calls, seeing about housing and stuffing food in her face when she’s not talking. The Silver Lake Trailer Park that’s nearest the station has no vacancy or trailers available for rent, but they refer her to the Moonflower Trailer Park. It’s some distance, but with how fast she rides her bike, it’s doable. It’s the only place with vacancy, she’ll drop by with a down payment and check out the trailer tomorrow before she heads back to Louisiana to get her stuff and everything tidied up there. The world outside the hotel window has gone dark, moon hanging bright in the sky. 

That settled she finishes off her food and collapses back on the bed. She’s still smiling, grinning ear to ear.

“Wooooooo!” She yells out and pumps her fist up at the ceiling, fuck yeah, she’s got this. 

She’ll grab one of those spring water showers and then pass out for the night. She grabs her phone and sets it up to play music in the bathroom while she washes up. Her clothes hit the floor, air conditioner chilling her skin as she waits for the water to heat up. It has a soft floral scent and is tinted slightly green, spring water. 

She steps in under the hot spray of water, letting it wash away the sweat and dirt of the day. Her muscles relax under the water and steam, as she scrubs the hotel soap into her skin. She blinks her eyes open once she’s done washing her hair, finding her vision clouding, her body feeling heavier and heavier. Must be the exhaustion of the day. Dahlia quickly finishes washing, the last thing she needs is to fall asleep in the shower again. 

Her steps are shaky, her body swaying as the world swims around her. Colors distort and shift in prisms before her eyes. It’s like the night before, but times a million. Her movements sluggish as she dries herself and quickly pulls on her sleep clothes. She was feeling ill earlier, maybe it’s catching up to her? But it doesn’t feel the same. Not panicky and nervous. One of her favorite songs starts to play through her phone, though its eerie tones aren’t as welcomed in this moment. 

She grips the sink for leverage, steadying herself as she looks into the mirror

All our times have come.

Her dark brown eyes aren’t dark brown, not quite. She tugs at her eyelids, the iris growing milkier and lighter than she’s ever seen it. What the hell is this? A soft melodic laugh echoes through the room, like it’s near. 

Here but now they're gone.

She stumbles out of the bathroom, finding her empty bedroom. Nothing unusual. 

Seasons don't fear the reaper.

The laugh rings out again, a flash of white passing by her open door. When did it open? She didn’t leave it open. 

Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain...

She’s walking out her door before she can give it another thought, looking back and forth across the hall, who’s there? 

We can be like they are

Her feet pad down the hallway, steps suddenly sure and confident as she tries to follow the voice. Like her body is being drawn, pulled, following sheer instinct. She needs to find them. 

Come on baby... don't fear the reaper

A flash of white, the swish of lace fabric, that laugh again vanishing into one of the rooms. Dahlia is there, trying to wrench open the door. Then it rings out from behind her. 

Baby take my hand... don't fear the reaper

A woman stands at the end of a long hallway, the one from the tight before. Long sandy hair and beautiful green eyes. A blue butterfly perches itself on her fingers, the woman looking at it in awe. Dahlia takes slow steps forward, she wants to speak, ask who she is and what she’s doing here. But her tongue is heavy, her throat tight, vocal cords numb, not a sound escaping. 

Baby I'm your man...

Green eyes flicker from the butterfly to Dahlia, a soft almost mischievous smile tugging at the woman’s lips. She laughs again as Dahlia nears her, then she runs, childish and giggling she runs towards one of the rooms. Dahlia is chasing her even after she vanishes from sight, legs moving without her permission, instinct driving her to reach this woman. She doesn’t know why, but she needs to reach her, touch her. Be closer. 

La la la la la

La la la la la

The laughter turns into soft humming, singing echoing through the halls. Somehow the sound is everywhere, all consuming and right in her ear, but also distant the source too far away for her to find. She walks down the halls, taking turns and climbing up stairs, following her instinct that pulls her in each direction she goes. 

Valentine is done

Flashes of white fabric, doors closing and shutting. It’s a game of tag that she can’t seem to win, the small hotel has somehow become a labyrinth as she tries to find the humming woman. Short hallways and few rooms have been traded for never ending paths with room lining them. 

Here but now they're gone

Sometimes spacious and open, other times claustrophobic, choking, walls scraping the skin of her arms where she has to fear she might become stuck. More halls and more floors than she’s ever seen, winding paths that make her dizzy. But she can’t stop searching for that woman. 

Romeo and Juliet

One more turn, the woman is at the end of a hallway. Standing before a door, softly singing to what is now two butterflies balanced on her fingers. Dahlia starts to walk down the hallway, tight, claustrophobic. She keeps her hands on the walls as if it will give her more space, as if she could force the walls to open wider for her. 

Are together in eternity...Romeo and Juliet

Her heartbeat races as she walks closer and closer, the walls threatening to crush her between them. She can hardly breathe, every breath ragged and tight. Dying. She feels like she’s dying, air being stolen from her lungs and heart pounding lie it’s trying to escape her chest. It worsens with every step she takes near the woman. 

40,000 men and women everyday... Like Romeo and Juliet

Some part of her brain, the small part that doesn’t have a thick haze of fog clinging to it, tells her to run the other way. That with this feeling only growing with every step towards the siren, with her heart pounding harsher, breathing getting raspier, she’ll die if she keeps going. That this truly is a siren luring her to death, but she can’t listen to that part of her. Her body won’t. She needs to reach her. 

40,000 men and women everyday... Redefine happiness

She’s getting closer and closer; the woman isn’t running this time. Just calming singly, like she doesn’t even notice Dahlia. She tries to reach out for the woman, her fingers nearly brushing the woman’s dress sleeve. 

Another 40,000 coming everyday... We can be like they are

Then the woman walks through the door, Dahlia could curse and cry if her vocal cords would only work. Once again, the woman evading her, being just out of reach. But this hall has no doors along its sides, no turns or twists. The only two options are going back or going through the door after her. It’s not even a choice. 

Come on baby... don't fear the reaper

She wrenches the door open and she’s in another world. No more wood walls and floors, her bare feet touching lush grass that tickles her skin. White petals float in the air and scatter across the ground. Trees curl around the area and when she looks out at the horizon, she sees that large statue of that man looming over the area. 

Baby take my hand... don't fear the reaper

When she looks straight ahead at the middle of the field is the woman, she twirls, short white dress fanning out around her hips. She stops, turning to face Dahlia, she smiles softly. Delicate and angel like, she stretches her hand out. An offer, a beckoning. 

We'll be able to fly... don't fear the reaper

The feeling of impending death lifts the very moment she sees the woman. Her heartbeat and her breathing easing, relief and contentment filling her body. She’s smiling and she doesn’t know why she feels alive. Free, like she can do anything. She’s walking closer and closer to the woman, each step making her happier and happier. Her body lighter and lighter. Calm and peace, she’s never known. She’s right where she belongs, she doesn’t need to be anywhere else. 

Dahlia reaches out, finally about to touch her, a touch of their hands is so simple, so minor. But it feels like the only thing she wants. All she’s ever want, like every moment in her entire life has been building up to this, being here with her, whoever she is. 

Before skin can meet skin, the siren fades to mist. 

No, no, no!

She grasps desperately at the air where the woman once was, her heart racing, her lungs stinging like the airs been knocked out of them. The world is crumbling, falling down, everything going out beneath her feet. It’s falling apart and she can’t stop it, she can’t fix it. 

Dahlia takes a heavy gasp, desperately sucking in a heavy breath and she blinks, the world around her has completely shifted. Her vision isn’t blurred, no more prisms of color before her eyes. 

Cold, goosebumps raising up on her skin, shorts and tee doing nothing to save her from the Montana breeze. She’s outside the hotel, in the world she knows. That damn statue looming still in the distance ahead of her. 

Dull. 

The landscaped she was so mesmerized by this day, seems so dull now. She feels dull, after so many emotions, so much intensity both in fear and happiness…she feels so numb. Dahlia rubs her fingers together, her craving for the feeling of another’s hand in her own…there’s an ache. She was so close, but now she’s been plunged back into reality. 

She stands out in the field outside the hotel, staring at that cement statue, it still seems to call her. Her heart telling her to go towards that looming structure, but her head tells her to go back inside the hotel. 

So, she doesn’t move. 

She doesn’t know how long she stands there, just staring. 

“Miss Hale!” A voice pulls her further back into reality, the hotel receptionist walking out towards her with a large blanket. 

Dahlia blinks a few times, she no longer feels numb, the very real emotion of shame flooding in. She’s standing out in public, in her pajamas. Did she just wander out of her hotel room in her sleep clothes? She must look ridiculous. 

“Hey…”

“Is everything alright? You just walked out of your hotel, looked like you were sleepwalking.” 

“Uh…yeah, I guess.” 

That makes sense, she must have went to bed and had a weird dream…yeah. 

“Here,” the woman wraps the large blanket around Dahlia, “you must be freezing.” 

“Thanks, sorry, I, just, weird dream.” She murmurs as they walk back to the hotel, Dahlia giving one last glance at the hotel.

“Dreams are nice, aren’t they? Sometimes you just wanna stay there forever.” 

#far cry 5 #fc5 #joseph seed #john seed #faith seed #jacob seed #deputy oc #This Is Love #Dahlia Hale

[airlock]

so, folks, I’m here to start another heinous text post series!

once again, we have results on a FEH poll -- and once again, IS has fucked up the vote counting beyond repair, leaving me filled with desire to tally things up nicer and properer. which I will try to do anyway, but the only numbers published were the ones above their top 100, so I guess we’ll technically have some missing information

but then, I thought, hey, while I’m at it, why don’t I offer some pointed critique as to whether the most voted characters deserve their votes?

let’s start with the professors. below the cut: the top 15 most wanted teachers in Fire Emblem, and whether they are any good as professors!

#1: BYLETH (10574 votes across all genders and forms)

yeah, yeah, that figures; if you don’t want to think too hard about this, why not go with the character who is only known as Professor, right?

that said, I’ve had classes with professors whose facial experssions never change and whose dialogue choices don’t matter, and let me tell you, regardless of who was controlling them behind the scenes, I can’t recommend that experience

#2: ROBIN (3110 votes across all genders)

ehm, sure? I mean, if taking over the plot and arbitrarily succeeding at everything you try are teachable skills, sign me up I guess-

#3: CECILIA (2426 votes)

our first extant personality is here, and not a bad choice at all! I mean, if her curriculum is whatever Lilina is doing, then I’d learn happily. even if she can be astonishingly blunt and I happen to have weaknesses and insecurities-

#4: CAMILLA (1303 votes)

look, I get it; those of you who played fates are ever so often telling me that, despite all the hype, there’s an actual character there somewhere beneath the slab of meat. I’ve heard you tell me a million times by now. but please, by all means, explain to me what this can possibly represent if not 1303 people with a teacher kink

and yeah, I hope you’re bracing yourself for that already, because we’re going to be running into multiple characters who are obvious horny votes. potentially even some who are sneaky horny votes -- like, sure, Cecilia is a good teacher, but she’s also the series’ first bangable teacher, and I have no way of knowing where one ends and another begins out of her 2426

#5: IKE (1121 votes across all appearances)

what’s there for him to teach, anyway? how to get away with yelling at a foreign monarch whose help you need? how to do handstands with a sword? ... actually, you know what, sign me up for both of those, even if this is basically an additional horny vote

(pew pew peeeeeeeeeeew I went there)

#6: LYN (877 votes)

er, I don’t even... are people counting it as “teaching” if she sometimes talks exposition at the player character? I mean, even as far as that goes, exposition usually falls to the other people in her team anyway...... hmmmmm

like yeah, regardless, she’s passably nice -- opinionated, sure, but that doesn’t usually grate much -- and dedicated to self-improvement... like, it’s not that she has any outstanding qualities for a teacher, but she’s already a better candidate than probably half this list

#7: CLAUDE (869 votes across all appearances)

869 votes total, of which 619 are for his post-timeskip appearance. nice. (and also, booyaka booyaka)

... I guess you can accuse this one of being a horny vote also, because I mean, it’s claude, he does that to everyone -- but considering that Dimitri didn’t get into the top 15 despite what Erica Lindbeck would have wanted, I think it’s safe to assume that this is at least partially about Claude’s brains.

that said, though, being clever doesn’t alone make someone a good teacher, so, what does he really have going for him? well, he’s very eloquent -- although he’s never struck me as the good-at-being-the-center-of-attention type. and he’s funny, which is a thing that a lot of people look for in a teacher, although let me tell you, years of cram school have really shown me to only want that in a secondary capacity,

... wait, on second thought, how many people voted for this just because of Joe Zieja?

#8: SHANNAM (852 votes)

wow, I can’t believe 852 people have been completely duped! ... well, he did accidentally teach Mareeta how to Astra, but that sounds like it had nothing to do with what he was doing at all. I guess it’d be nice to discover a hidden talent just like that, but it doesn’t seem to be something we can rely on Shannam for. just like everything else

incidentally, I’m told there’s going to be a lot of random Jugdrali nobodies on the next categories too -- I’m guessing that must be the newest FE Reddit mob prank. too bad there’s probably not going to be a category that Dorcas can take over

(in case you’re wondering, the actual shannan has a modest 171 votes to his name)

#9: MANUELA (851 votes)

I’m not going to call this an outright horny vote, but one thing I can tell you all for sure is that nobody who’s voting for this wants to have an actual class where things get done

like, sure, she’s not without her share of admirable wisdom, but we’re talking about someone who openly felt like jumping into a lake when someone told her they look up to her and think she has made good decisions

#10: TITANIA (818 votes across all appearances)

the very first character on this list I can’t fault or make fun of at all, and it’s taken us the entire top 10 to get there. bravo, Fire Emblem fans. and bravo IS for splitting the tellius votes again, making her rank even worse on the official list

#11: EDELGARD (766 votes across all appearances)

what. I mean, sure, she’s a fantastic public speaker, but like, I hope you haven’t had enough yet of the teacher who boasts about how they WILL fail you

#12: SETETH (733 votes, possibly with uncounted change)

being taught by seteth is, presumably, like being taught by snape, minus all of the venom. solid choice, I suppose!

plus, if we’re following up on the Joe Zieja thing, I’d really be lining up to take classes from Mark Whitten. or Allegra Clark. or Christian La Monte, but that’d just be because he’s adorable and I’d watch him doing like anything

(get your mind out of the gutter)

#13: CANAS (685 votes)

I’m like, at least halfway sure that’s the one I voted for. hell yeah!

what’s there not to love? sure, he might be a spot awkward, but that unmatchable passion for knowledge is one of the best traits to have as a teacher, not to mention that he’s humble, happy to teach, and even good with kids! er, other people’s kids, that is. kids other than Hugh

(technically, he’s also voiced by Joe Zieja, but eh, I doubt anyone’s thought of that)

#14: ATHOS (664 votes)

if Seteth was the Snape pick, this is the Dumbledore -- again, without the venom, if he does have skeletons in his closet. that said, he forgets to eat just because he probably doesn’t have to anymore, so y’know, brace yourself for how that translates into keeping the class organized

(incidentally, his student Pent just barely missed my cut, as he is #16)

#15: LUKAS (647 votes)

you know what? it’s not that Lukas isn’t kind and passionate for knowledge and a bunch of other things that make a good teacher, but I regret to say I am 100% calling this both a horny vote and a voice actor vote. a horny for the voice actor vote, if you will. you’re not looking for a class, you’re looking for an ASMR roleplay of one

HONORABLE MENTIONS (highest vote in their continuity, without reaching top 15)

Maiko (622 votes): I haven’t played TMS#FE, so someone else will have to gauge the extent to which this is a horny vote

Marth (544 votes across all appearances): look, marth’s whole thing is how he’s just a naïve whelp standing on the shoulders of giants, so let’s be real -- you want Jagen to be your teacher. and hell yeah, so do I

Plumeria (400 votes): holy shit, look, 400 people who aren’t funny at all. like not even a little bit

Eirika (363 votes): it’s strange that she’s beating out the plethora of proper teacherly characters in Magvel, like Saleh and Duessel. I guess the upshot is that she’s never going to catch you cheating in a test?

unlike what I normally say on my heavily opinionated text posts, I’m eager to hear what you all have to say about all that -- this poll is a lot less fun than the discussions it raises! so yeah, who deserves all the votes they got here? did the one you voted for make the cut? are you on the defensive because I’ve seen right through you? let me know in the replies and reblogs!

#anniversary poll critique series #my stupid text posts #Fire Emblem is tagged in this post #Fire Emblem Heroes is tagged in this post

[lovemesomerafael]

It’s Complicated                       Chapter 10:  Wooing

Source: @fortheloveofbarba

Chapters 1-5  Chapter 6  Chapter 7  Chapter 8  Chapter 9  Read it on AO3

As they sat in the squad car in the gathering dark, Mike Dodds nervously tapped his fingers on the steering wheel.  He darted a glance at Sonny Carisi every once in a while, but mostly just looked out the windshield toward the door of the office where Barba and Frankie were.  

“You nervous about this, Sarge?  Because we both know they’re either screamin’ or screwin’ in there. No other options with those two. And we’re not gettin’ involved with either one.”

Dodds smirked and gave a laugh.  “That’s for sure.”

“So what are you so nervous about?”  

‘I’m not nervous.  This is just how I am on a stakeout.”

“Dude, I’ve been on stakeouts with you where I had to tell you jokes to keep you awake.  And those were ones with real criminals.”

“Whatever.  Maybe I just need a drink.  Assuming we don’t have to process a crime scene in there, you maybe wanna have a drink after this?”

“I thought you had a thing about not fraternizing with the minions?”

“So don’t fraternize,” Dodds joked with a weak smile.

“Yeah, OK.  Sure.”

They sat in silence for a while, watching nothing happen.  Carisi rolled his window down briefly and, sure enough, faint sounds of yelling could be heard coming from the industrial unit. The men shared a look and a grin.

Which got Carisi thinking, again, about how attracted he was to Dodds.  He’d jumped at this chance to spend some time together, just the two of them.  Carisi wasn’t afraid of the way he felt, because he knew he could never, ever act on it.  He could only imagine what Dodds would do if he knew how much Sonny wanted to reach over and take his hand from the steering wheel and curl their fingers together…  Wait a minute.  Dodds had asked him if he wanted to have a drink after this.  Together.  Just the two of them.  Holy shit.  But no. It couldn’t be.  That would be a dream come true, but…  It couldn’t be Dodds.  Could it?

“Hey, um, Dodds…  This is just a wild guess, and I’m sure it wasn’t you, but…  Did you happen to…  talk to Frankie about me?”

Did Dodds hesitate there?  “Whaddaya mean?  Of course I’ve talked to Frankie about you before.”

“No, I meant…  never mind.”  Don’t be an idiot, Carisi.  Dodds isn’t into guys, and even if he was, he wouldn’t be into you.

For a moment, Mike Dodds felt as though he’d been abducted by aliens.  This could not be real.  Did Carisi just look at him like…  Shit, he’s beautiful.  Look at those eyes.  Come on, Dodds.  He said he wouldn’t shoot you just for letting him know you’re interested.  He’s a nice guy.  He’ll be kind when he lets you down.  Which he will.  But still, don’t waste this chance.  Dodds cleared his throat.  “Oh.  That.”

“Huh?”

He cleared his throat again and forced himself to look at Sonny. He’d looked down the barrels of guns with less fear.  “Yeah, I, uh…  I am the one who talked to Frankie about you.”

The smile that spread across Sonny’s lips stopped Mike’s heart.

“So this drink,” Sonny almost whispered.  “Would it be… a date?”

“Can’t be.  I’m your superior officer.”

Sonny’s smile got bigger.  “That wasn’t a ‘no’.”

“You’re right,” Mike said, able to smile a little himself, now that Sonny had actually not shot him.  More shocking still, he also appeared to be happy to know that Mike was the fellow cop that was interested in him.  “That wasn’t a ‘no’.”

“I hope these two don’t start shooting,” Sonny observed, indicating the building where Barba and Frankie were.  “I’m gonna be distracted now.”

“Welcome to the party, pal.  You’ve been distracting me for months.”

Mike felt it deep down when Sonny gave him that gorgeous, crinkly smile like a little kid handed a puppy.

 ***********************

Barba sauntered out to the lobby, a cup of takeout coffee in each hand.  He handed Frankie one, which he was happy to see she accepted.  It was still hot.  

“Strychnine or Hemlock?”  She asked, taking a sip anyway.

“Hemlock would have been very classical of me, but all I got you was a shot of vanilla.”

“This is unlawful imprisonment.”

“Only if a court says it is.”

“You don’t think I can find a way to get out of here?”

“I’m sure you can.  Which is a bit of a weakness in your unlawful imprisonment case.” 

“Well, since we both agree I can escape, why don’t we do this the easy way and you just let me out?”

“Because I have some things to say and I want you to listen.”

“Now you want to talk.  You barely acknowledge me for months except to scream at me, you dodge my calls, I have to make a fucking appointment with Carmen to get you to sit still long enough to hear me out, and now because you’re suddenly in the mood to talk, I’m supposed to listen?”   

Barba thought she was the most beautiful he’d ever seen her, annoyed and enraged and frustrated.  He wished he could just take her against the wall here and now, but he figured he’d get hot coffee in the face for even suggesting it, and his face was still a little tender from that slap earlier.

“Please listen to me.” 

“No.  You’ve said quite enough for one day.  So you’ve committed a Class E felony for nothing.”

“Class A misdemeanor.  I could only be charged with second degree unlawful imprisonment because you’re not in danger of physical harm.”  

“No, but you are,” she hissed.  He really was irresistible when he smirked like that, the shit.

“You’re not gonna slap me again, are you?  Cuz I deserve it, but that really hurt.”

“You deserve a full-on ass-kicking, is what you deserve.  But I am sorry I slapped you.  Violence is the resort of the weak-minded.” 

“And the seriously pissed off.”

“Them, too.”

“You have a right to be angry.”

“Damn straight I do!  And I am!  How dare you compare me to that snake Maduro!  Do you have any idea how…  And you have no idea what it was like to sit there in your office and…  AAAUGH!  And then you have the gall to tell me…  AAAUGH!  I oughtta rip your head off and spit down your neck!  I oughtta…”

“You oughtta let me apologize.  And try to explain.”

“I have no desire to hear you explain anything, you fucking self-centered, unfeeling, pocket-square-wearing, sadistic…  jackwagon!”

He turned and walked calmly down to the office he’d been in, bringing the cheap metal chairs with him and setting them down near her.  She looked at him as though he’d sprouted butterfly wings.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m gonna sit here and watch you having a tantrum.”

“You’re gonna what?”

“I’m gonna sit –“

“I heard what you said.  You can’t just sit there and watch me.  You have to fight with me.”

“No, I don’t.  But feel free to yell at me for as long as you need to.  I know what a jackass I’ve been.  I deserve it.”

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop smiling like that.  Stop being amused by me.  You fucking hurt me, Barba.  You treated me like I was – like I was Maduro.  You damn well know I’m not like him.  You know that!  So don’t you dare sit there fucking smiling like everything’s gonna be OK.  It’s not.  You’re an asshole, and you’re cruel, and you’re cold, and you’re too fucking arrogant by half.  You’re aaaaaalwaaaays right.  Well, you were wrong as fuck this time, and I tried to tell you that like a million times, but you wouldn’t listen to me.  And you know what?  It’s too late now.  You blew it.  I loved you and you blew it.  So let me out of here.”

“No.”

“Don’t ‘no’ me.  Let me out.  I don’t want to be here with you.”

“I know.  But you will.”

“Barba, seriously.  Let me the hell out of here.”

“Come over here.  Sit by me.  Or yell at me some more.”

“Let.  Me.  Out.”

“I love you.”

“Let me out!!!”

“Did you hear me?  I love you.”

“I heard you.  Strap in for a big surprise, you conceited shit.  I don’t care.  Let me out.  And stop fucking smiling!”

“I can’t help it.  I love you.  And I finally said it.”

“Well, boo ya for you.  Smug bastard.  I said it to you about a hundred years ago.  And you didn’t…  you just…  And then I had to see you with that woman in the pantsuit I wanted…“

As soon as she started to choke over her words and he saw tears in her eyes, he sprang up from the chair and went toward her.  He tried to put his arms around her, but she turned her back, ripping herself from his hands, and stepped away from him. 

“I don’t want to be here with you,” she said, no longer yelling – now trying valiantly not to cry, but already sniffling.

“I think you do.”

“Of course you think I do.  You’re an egotistical…”

“Jackwagon?”

“That’ll do for now.”

“You love me.”

She whirled around, trying to be angry again.  “So what?  Huh?  So what?  I’ll get over it.  You think I’m ever gonna trust you again after the things you said?  You think I’m stupid enough to ever let you anywhere near me?  I’m not.  So do whatever you have to do to let me out of this place.   It’s over.  You lost. Go have Chinese food with the pantsuit.”

“Come sit by me.” 

“No.” 

“Will you at least listen to me?”

“No.  I’m serious, Barba, let me the fuck out of here.”

“Here.  Let me give you a tissue.”

“I’m not crying.”

“Yes, you are.  You’re crying because you love me.  And I love you.”

“Of all the cocky, narcissistic…”  She stepped just close enough to tear the tissue from his hand.

“Come sit by me.”

“No.  I hate you.”

“You love me.”

“Quit saying that!” 

“Sit.  C’mon.  You don’t have to sit close.  Just sit.”

“I’m not sitting.  You want me to sit.  So I’m not sitting.”

He couldn’t help laughing at that.  “Will you listen?”

“I don’t seem to have a choice.  Which, just to remind you, is unlawful imprisonment and if you choose to give up your right to remain silent every single fucking word you say will be used against you in a court of law.  So choose wisely.”

“Francisca, I’m sorry.  I screwed up in every possible way.  I hurt you, because I thought you were someone you’re not. Someone who hurt me.  And I knew you better than that.  I betrayed your trust.  You’re the woman I love, and I was a coward, and jealous, and petty, and I’m more sorry than I can ever possibly tell you.”

“And you kidnapped me.”

“Yes, I did.  And that was wrong.  Necessary, and actually kind of genius, but wrong.”

She glared at him.

He tried to stop smiling and look contrite.  “Very, very wrong.” 

She stood, saying nothing, arms crossed.

“What else do you need to hear?  Just tell me, and I’ll say it.”

“I need to hear the sound of that door opening.  That’s what I need to hear.” 

“Francisca, I can’t excuse my behavior.  But I can explain where it came from.  Maybe if you know that, you might be willing to let me start to apologize.  Because you were right about me.  I am a snob, and prejudiced.  I’m owning my bias.  Rich people, people who think the rules don’t apply to them, who look down on people like me and my family…  It makes me crazy.”

“I noticed.”

“And when it came to you, I got completely turned around.”

Frankie didn’t respond, which Barba took as a good sign.  “Will you let me tell you?”

She looked at him over her coffee cup.  “Five minutes.”

“When I was at Harvard…”

 **********

“Have I really been distracting you?”  Carisi asked, looking shyly at Dodds in a way he’d never seen before, with a flirtatious little smile Dodds was glad he’d never seen before. If he had, he would’ve done something inappropriate long before now.  

“Let it go, Carisi.  We’re on the job.”  Sonny might have been a little stung by that, except for the tiny grin Dodds couldn’t control.

“Well, when we’re not on the job, I want to hear about it.”

“You’re not gonna go all needy on me, are you, Carisi?”

It wasn’t Mike’s fault.  Sonny turned his smile on at full power, with that flirtatious tilt to his head. Mike was helpless to resist.  

“OK, fine,” he said.  “I think you’re hot.  OK? Happy now?”

“Yeah,” Sonny shrugged happily.  “You thinkin’ I’m hot, that’s pretty good.”

Dodds shook his head, running his hand through his hair and turning to look out the window, but smiling against his will.  “Shit.  I don’t know if I can handle you.”

“One way to find out,” Carisi said, a seductive note in his voice that Dodds felt inside.  He risked a look over at Sonny, who was looking at him invitingly, dimples on full display on either side of his plump, pink lips.  

“Damn it,” Dodds muttered, leaning toward Carisi, who closed the distance.  The last thing he saw before he closed his eyes was Sonny’s hand reaching to cup his cheek.  When their lips met, Sonny made just the slightest noise as he exhaled, unleashing a storm of lightning in Mike’s lower abdomen.

 **********************

Frankie drank her coffee while Barba told her several things she’d never known about him.  Things, in fact, most people didn’t know about him.  Frankie was hurt and angry.  She wasn’t particularly disposed to see his point of view.  But the things he told her explained quite a bit, and they resonated with her.  She listened for far longer than five minutes, and he noticed when she began to nod with recognition.

“I know what you’re talking about,” she said quietly.  “My father made sure we did.  I’m not saying I can get where you are.  I can’t.  I’m not you.  But I do respect your experience, because I have just enough of my own to know it’s real.  Not only in terms of money, but racially, as well.  It’s not easy being Mexican in Texas, no matter how much money you have.  But having said that, Barba, I’m not them.  Don’t do to me what they did to you.  I’m just me.  Judge me on me, not anyone else.”

“I am.  I do.”

For a moment, they simply looked at each other.

“What happens now?”  He asked, wanting to stand and take her in his arms, but not wanting to break this fragile peace.

“I don’t know,” Frankie answered honestly.

“I have some wonderful ideas,” he suggested.  “Come home with me and I’ll tell you all about them.”

“No.”

He gulped.  “No?”

“Oh, no.  You think you just kidnap me and we have a heart-to-heart and then you get to take me back to your place?  It’s not gonna happen like that.  You fucked up.  If you want me to come home with you, there needs to be dating.  Wooing.”

“Wooing.”

“That’s what I said.  If you ever hope to get me back to your apartment again, you’re gonna have to woo me.  And not ‘Carmen does all the work and you just show up’ wooing.  Real wooing, Barba.  I want to see some effort.”

“I can do that.  But tell me…  how long does this ‘wooing’ process last?”

“I’ll let you know.”  She put her carryall over her shoulder.  “Now, tell Dodds and Carisi to let us out.” 

Barba stood, a little stunned and a lot disappointed, but ready to do whatever ‘wooing’ was required to get Francisca back into his life for good.  He picked up his jacket, sighing.  “I just need to signal them from the door.”

He followed her down the hall and to the door, but was surprised when she stopped short, put a hand on his chest, and pushed him a couple of steps backward.

“Um…  Text them.”

Barba did a double take.  “Why?”

“Just… text them.”

“What’s…” he went to step around her, but she stepped in front of him again.  

“What’s going on?”  He asked, confused.  

“That’s need-to-know.  And you don’t.”  

He just looked at her for a moment.

“Will you just trust me on this?”  She asked.

“Maybe.  On one condition.”

“Name it.”

“Kiss me.”

Frankie stood very close to him, looking up at him, considering. “I want to, but I don’t want to encourage your behavior.”

“OK, so here’s my offer.  I don’t ask questions, you kiss me, and I agree never to kidnap you again.”

She grinned and stepped to him, taking her time as she slid her arms around his neck.  “I can live with that,” she said, tilting her head as Barba, smiling, touched his lips to hers.  

It began a bit oddly, because neither of them could control the smiles turning their lips up, but they wanted very much to kiss each other, so they made it work.  And it wasn’t long before Frankie’s fingers were buried in Rafael’s hair, grasping a handful, while with her other arm she pulled him close.  He let one hand drift slowly down her back, the other on her hip keeping her where he wanted her.  They took their time, reacquainting themselves with each other, tasting and breathing in one another, both very happy to be in each other’s arms again.

“I love you,” Rafael whispered into the kiss.

“I love you, too,” Frankie murmured, immediately going back to what she’d been doing with her tongue.

“Let me take you home.”

“Text the guys.”

Barba wouldn’t have dreamt of asking any questions.  Not now.  

Five minutes later, Rafael had managed to maneuver Frankie against the wall where he could press against her, and was drawing soft moans from her. They began to hear metallic scrapes at the door.  A moment later, Dodds’ head appeared around the doorway. 

“Everybody alive?”  He asked.

“We’re good.  Ready to get outta here.”

“All right.  Let’s go,” Dodds said, holding a hand out toward the door.  Barba stepped past him, then Frankie, who leaned close to Dodds as she passed.  

“Zipper,” she whispered, then stepped over and kissed Rafael to distract him as Dodds quickly fastened up.  

Rafael flicked off the lights and locked the door with a single key on a small fob.  

“What is this place, anyway?  Are we even supposed to be here?”

Barba and Dodds shared a look.  “That’s need-to-know,” Barba said.  “And you don’t.”

The three walked the few yards to the squad car, where Carisi leaned against the roof, holding the rear door open.  His hair was hopelessly askew.  

“Glad to see nobody’s bleeding,” he said, smiling broadly.

 ***********

The flowers Barba sent the next day were so big Frankie actually had to work around them in her small office at Federal Plaza.  The inconvenience made her smile.

The next day, he took her on a dinner cruise around Manhattan, just the two of them and a crew of five on a classic, teak yacht.  That was pretty fabulous, but it was so much fun to torture him that Frankie still kissed him good night at the door of her apartment.  

Barba sent more flowers the following day, a perfect little bouquet that was a better size for her office and brought tears to her eyes with its beauty.  It was exactly what she would choose for herself, and the card made her knees weak.  She had to hide it in her desk because, while not graphic, it was just too personal to have out for anyone to see.  

Through these days, he called and texted so much she wondered how he was getting any work done.  In truth, he wasn’t.  He was working too hard trying to think of ways to “woo” her, and Carmen was only willing to help him to a certain extent.  Frankie and Carmen were becoming friends, and Frankie had wasted no time letting her know the conditions of Barba’s parole.

They had a long, intimate lunch that Thursday.  That evening, after they’d finally both made it home and into comfortable clothes, Frankie was laying on her stomach on the couch, feet in the air and chin in her hand, laughing at something Barba had said as they chatted on the phone.  This “wooing” process, while slightly frustrating for both of them, was also a lot of fun.  And they were enjoying the opportunity to truly know one another.  After all, it had only been a few months since they’d met.  The best part was that, the more they knew, the closer they became, and the surer they were that they were, in fact, in love.

“You sound happy,” Barba murmured sexily into the phone.  

“Well, I’m not not enjoying being wooed,” she smiled.  

“Jeez.  What’s it gonna take to get an actual compliment from you?”

“You could deal with the spider in my bathroom.  I’d definitely compliment you for that.”  

“Romantic.”

“Well, you said you like it when I need you.  And dealing with the spider would involve both protecting me and supporting me through some emotional distress.”

“Uh-huh.  It’s a start, I guess.”

“Barba, you don’t understand.  It’s a spider.”

“Just kill it.”

“I can’t.”

“Then re-home it.”

“I can’t.”

“What’s the problem?”

“I… can’t with spiders.”

“You’re afraid of spiders?”

“I didn’t say that.  I said I can’t with them.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I can’t.  With spiders.  No puedo.  Con las arañas.”

“And that’s different than being afraid of them how?”

They moved on, with Barba frequently returning to the topic of her fear of spiders whenever he thought of a new way to tease her about it.  Almost an hour later, they were still on the phone as Frankie rooted in her sparsely-stocked refrigerator, looking for something to snack on.  

There was a knock at her door.

“Huh,” she said to Barba.  “There’s someone at my door.”

“Who is it?”  

She went over to look out the peephole, a smile dawning on her lips.  “It’s you.”

“Is it?  Then you should let me in.”

“What about wooing?”

“How conceited of you to assume I’m here to ravish you.  I’m here to deal with your arachnid problem.”

“Oh.” She undid the locks and opened the door, pushing the “end” button on her phone.  “Then come in.”  

He smiled in that slow-burn, eye-twinkling way that she felt all over, stepping through the door.  Closing and re-locking the door behind him, she then turned to face him where he stood a few feet into her apartment.  They looked at one another and, without a word, Frankie stepped into Barba’s arms.

She softly took his lower lip between hers, moving her lips slowly over his and gently nipping.  He gave a soft moan that was all it took before she was pushing him toward her bedroom.

“Wooing’s over,” she said, her voice almost a growl.  

“Thank God.”  He began to walk backward, both of them moving together while they kissed and Frankie pulled Barba’s sweater and T-shirt off, tossing them onto her couch as they passed. His skin felt wonderful; she was suddenly hungry to touch all of him.  By the time they reached the edge of her bed, she had his jeans unfastened and was pulling them down his hips.  He helped her get them off, along with his loafers, so that he could concentrate on her.  She made it difficult to get her sweatshirt and yoga pants off because she couldn’t get enough of touching him.  

“Doctor, you are not cooperating,” he laughed softly.

“You’re the one who’s…  not… oh, damn it-“ she tore her yoga pants off and pushed him roughly onto the bed.  She half-pushed, half-dragged him up to the pillows, where she could stretch out on top of him, touching as much of his skin as possible with hers. She couldn’t hold him tightly enough, even with her full length stretching along his.  Barba held her as tightly as she was holding him, understanding her need.  He lifted a hand to the back of her head to hold her mouth against his, needing the most intimate possible kisses.

“I love you, mi fresa.  You have no idea.”

“Do, too,” she muttered into his mouth.

“Don’t argue with me,” he chuckled.

“Don’t tell me what to do.”  She lifted to her knees enough to straddle him, pulling his hands to cup them over her breasts and wiggling her hips toward him.

He took a hand from her breast to put it on her hip, shifting them both into position.  “Fuck me,” he growled.

“Except that,” she said, sliding onto him with a gasp.  “Fuck, Barba!  I love you-“

It had been too long, and they were too glad to be together, for either of them to last very long.  They weren’t worried.  They had all night.  They had forever.  

Later, lying together happily nuzzling and whispering together, Frankie remembered the spider.

“You forgot to deal with the spider.”

“I’m not going to.”

“What?  That was the whole reason I let you in!”

“Mi fresa, that lie is unworthy of you.”

“It’s not a lie.”

“Of course it is.  You let me in so you could ravish me.”

“And so you would deal with the spider.”

“In that order.”

“OK, I admit that.  So now I’ve ravished you, at least for the moment.  Time to deal with the spider.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“Ravishing.  As much ravishing as you want.”

“You’re going to do that anyway.  You’re crazy about me.  What else?”

“Barba, are you going to protect and support me, or are you going to give me a bunch of trouble?”

“Yes.”

~~~~~~~~~~The End  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#law & order svu #law & order: special victims unit #rafael barba #raul esparza #sonny carisi #mike dodds #peter scanavino #andy karl

[talesfromacrip]

some thoughts:

I don’t feel well some days. I feel so lost.. I’m starting to disassociate again at times and it doesn’t help. I start feeling absolutely worthless, sad, frustrated. emotional whirlpool alert  so fucking overwhelmed nowadays and I act like nothing is going on sometimes bc I hide shit easily. I shouldn’t and I know, but it’s so damn repetitive. like a fucking carousel of absolute madness and I got a one way ticket to ride

there is so much chaos going on; everyday and I hate that I cannot do anything about it. I can, but not to the extent I’d like

feel so useless

sure, I can help in some ways, but not as much as I’d like and it irritates me. my internalized ableism has kicked in at a high bc of all this shit. I cannot stand it and myself in the process. I do to an extent, but holy fucking shit

all the dreams I’ve been having, snarky comments, yelling, drama. I’m, tired of it. I want out but I can’t even go o u t or get much less. I feel trapped. not only in my own house, but own my damn body

can’t go anywhere and I honestly don’t know if I ever will now. so damn tired and sick of this shit, but I won’t say it until my kettle squeals and what do ya know.. it did

I have to put up with some silly ass shit everyday. all the darn time

it’s just, annoyingly difficult to handle and adds more to my stress.. it is what it is though ya know. I hate saying that but idrk how to replace that without sounding like an ass

———

I’m concerned about Jolene and her eyes. she needs surgery for her cataracts and it’s really fucking expensive. like, 3 to 5 thousand big. We might be able to do one, but we don’t really know for sure yet. lots of smaller issues have been coming up and it gets in the way.

we can’t continue buying her eye drops forever. it could either do nothing much in the end or ruin her eyes completely. don’t want that for her at all.

I’m not stable enough to handle the death of another dog if something bad was to happen to her. we barely lost malibu in february and that wasn’t long ago. feels like years now as I write this tbh. It hurt my parents so much as well and they still feel it. 

———

I love my little family a lot and all, but sometimes it’s, alright. has it’s, moments ya know. I’m thankful that we’re getting along with each other more (er trying) than years before though.

There’s not much yelling or anything, but there are still those days that just, happen. Can’t be helped in the environment I live in. drains my battery so much. I just don’t know what to do sometimes anymore. I do, but I cannot act on them. I can talk, but that could lead to some hard times

sucks, yeah,but ya gotta put up with it or I do at least till whatever time I’m free from here. which I don’t think is ever,but we’ll see

I’ve been teaching them about ableism, occasionally how I’ve dealt with it and the internalized ableism that followed me and still does when I can.  My dad is all for this,but he still messes up when he has a dumb fit. My mom still struggles about the whole thing at times.  It’s not her fault. she is at least learning and trying too which I’m pretty glad about. occasionally though, I just don’t know if it’ll fully happen, but it is slowly. counts

I have to calmly deal though obviously, even if the comments set me straight off and give me the biggest migraine to date. also, intense jaw pain at times bc I don’t want to start yelling or crying. so I just clench and try to cam down my breathing so I don’t go full freak mode.

Shit like, who did this? you smoke too much, it’s all in your head. you and that word. do you think someone else will deal with this? why don’t you just leave then if you don’t like it here.. blah, blah. The usual  parrot babble I’ve always heard growing up and shit.

This is the reason why I don’t want anyone to know much about my parents in the first place and how they really are. Eventually they’re gonna, but holy fuck.. it’s, just not a fun experience/time I tell ya. embarrassing

when I do, it just, gets worse it seems. No one is gonna want to deal with me or my parents. I can barely deal with myself at times. ugh. mostly my parents or maybe me? both?? I don’t even know for sure. that’s how razzled i am about thissss

I’m gonna end up by myself and die alone by myself as the kids say. I’m probably not but who fucking knows. 

I’ve meet people like that towards me though?? I’m affected by it and it hurts. Trying to deal. working but it gets to me on some days as some other problems do.

what if they act the same way she does, them?? then what am I supposed to do? maybe they won’t? sigh, I don’t know anymore.  I do, but I don’t want to dwell on it so much. sigh

———

I’m sorry if it seems like I’m being an asshole lately these past few weeks, months, years? weeks though

I’ve been pretty stressed for awhile as I’ve said probably a million times and I’m trying my b e s t to hold it in, but it’s just been spilling out occasionally

I’ve noticed at times even if some have and I’m so sorry..

it’s difficult to bring up these issues and I don’t want to ruin anyone’s day ya know. even though it’s good too, say how you feel. I just struggle with it like an ass clown at times from how overwhelming it can be at times.

doesn’t seem like it bc I’m g o o d at hiding my ‘motions.

I’m or was, am? at my limit

I’m trying to "hold it together" which bugs me even more, but what can I do? obviously tell someone like I said, but i don’t like dumping my problems on people; especially now and idk how to really talk about it without me soundin.. u p s e t. it’s been constant though and I’m struggling. Trying though

I always have to though; keep it together, so everyone else doesn’t feel so down like they do with their issues. it’s such a tiresome thing, but I don’t like them being sad. I know they don’t like me either and I neglect that at times.

I’m tense about things and I just, can’t bother anyone to explain much bc everyone is "so busy" even during this time bc they have better things to do, but who knows.

I don’t want to bother anyone with my internalized ableism problems as always.. they’re getting a bit worse, the hell am I gonna do?

they can’t do anything anyway and it’s not anyone’s fault. i know they want too, but what is there to do?

idk, I just don’t want to continue brushing it off or lying about how I’m feeling and I do. Trying as much as I can to not be like that though. glad to have some reassurance in this as well.

#therapy journal #disability #disabled post #some thoughts #myehhh

[medea10]

Medea’s Top 10 Worst Fathers in Anime

#clannad #pokemon #Dragon Ball Z #rin-ne #kyoukai no rinne #assassination classroom #berserk #neon genesis evangelion #food wars #shokugeki no soma #ranma 1/2 #pupa #Full Metal Alchemist #Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood #michiko and hatchin #Mirai nikki #the future diary #boruto #fairy tail #Steins;Gate

[actual-were-wolf]

unreasonable/crazy rules i have

I understand that I probably sound like a massive spoiled brat right now, but i need to rant.

[i know nobody even wants to read this but i want to rant so ]

strict parents are awesome

- 8pm bedtime. No exceptions. Even in the summer, when I can hear everybody else outside having fun. I am fourteen. In Year 10. No staying up “late”, ever. 5 minutes over my bedtime when I have no clock in my room? I’m “taking advantage of my parents relaxing and having free time.” and I get a royal go at. I’m not allowed to go to the bathroom, go downstairs and get a drink, or I get shouted at massively. It used to be 7pm, but I turned 12 two years ago and BEGGED HARD. 

- I wasn’t allowed to listen to any other music than what was on the 80s radio and Minecraft parodies. No, I’m not kidding. I can recite to you every word of Wrecking Ball (Minecraft Parody), Don’t Mine At Night, Hunger Games, and the list goes on.

- I’m not allowed to FaceTime or call my friends. It would be pointless, anyways, since I’m not allowed upstairs so I would have no privacy anyways.

- No answering back. Under ANY circumstances. You dare say no to me?! You dare lay this kind of disrespect to me, your mother, who hasn’t sat down all day? Who works so hard just to make sure I have a good life? Preposterous.

- Phone, iPad, laptop: not allowed upstairs in any circumstances. Any. I mean fucking any. I have fond memories of writing out long, winding Sims 4 codes by hand just so I could go upstairs and use them on my PlayStation. Also, things I have “abused” get locked up in the safe.

It’s weird, as well, since it wasn’t about spending time with my family. I just wasn’t allowed upstairs with any of it. I spent all my time in the other room where my family couldn’t see what I was doing and they didn’t give two shits.

- No watching various age rated films unless you are that age. Actually, fuck you, you’re that age now but “I don’t like you watching it.”

- No NERF guns. No “violence” of any sort. Just ???????

- I used to be banned from saying the word “hate”, and my parents are still disapproving of it. Same goes for “stupid”, “idiot”, and so on.

- My parents must know my phone password at all times. They will randomly, when they feel like it, pick up my phone and start going through it. This includes my photos, messages, friends and all the supposed “hoRRiBLE TERriBLe THinGS” I must have been doing. People who had this rule know the absolute heart attack it brings.

Also, just the sheer amount of content that is blocked. TVs have passwords, my father’s computer has a password, etc etc.

- This is one I still have. No leaving the table unless you’ve eaten all your dinner. I am fourteen. Don’t like it? Don’t care. It’s gOod FoR YOu. And to be frank, I’m not even THAT much of a picky eater. Its literally just potatoes and spag bol that disgust me in particular. I’m not allowed to eat anything else for the rest of the evening if I disobey, and I’ll be banned for the evening or even day after on whatever’s keeping me occupied at the moment.

- No privacy. No locking doors, even the bathroom door, no being “secretive”, just, in short: no privacy.

- No asking where we’re going during car rides. This is deemed as “asking too many questions”, you’re giving me a headache, and questions are “annoying”. This is more lax now I’m older, but I definitely remember this from my younger years.

- Phones, iPads, laptop all downstairs at 7pm. Not allowed on them / anywhere near them after 7pm. If my parents can’t actively see them, then they will use the pinging sound on Find My iPhone to come up and give me a good ass whooping.

- This isn’t a rule, but despite sending me to bed at 8 every night: ____ happened? It’s because you’re tired. Bags under your eyes that won’t go away no matter what, even after sleeping after 9pm every night? You’re tired. Bad mood? You’re grumpy. Get more sleep, slave.

- I have to be there the instant my parents call for me. No shouting back “What?” or staying there for a moment: unacceptable. Be here immediately. And oftentimes it isn’t even something imperative.

- Always eat at the dinner table. No technology allowed at the dinner table, even when eating alone.

- This isn’t a rule either, but because of it. I’m always late to reply because I can never, ever have my notifications on. I once had a notification from a YouTube comment I made and my parents screenshotted it and everything. They sat me down at the table and forced me to explain everything. I dragged it out for long enough, before the actually going through my phone stage, when the doorbell rung. Heart beating a million fucking MPH, I raced to delete all my social media, photos and messages. Also sign out of all my accounts and make up a BS reason for the notification when they got back. All within a minute and a half. Living on the edge.

And just a story that shows how controlling my mother can be sometimes. I got the opportunity to go ice skating with a bunch of my friends. I never go out, so of course I was excited. My mother mentioned that she could either come collect me or I could get a lift home. I, being happy that she was actually letting me go, say that I’d probably get picked up, just to alleviate her. Fast forward a couple hours and I’m having a decent amount of fun. We had to leave our items in the lockers, and since there were eight or so of us we managed to squeeze everything into two lockers, and these two people had keys.

So, we stop skating, (finally) bearing in mind that I told my mother we’d be finishing around this sort of time, and she turns up to the rink. Like. She didn’t wait outside. She didn’t wait in reception. She fucking went up from the card accessed place, up to the rink just to yell at me in front of all my friends about how she’s “been waiting here for four hours” which I know is not fucking true. She texted me around half an hour ago asking when it ends and I obviously couldn’t answer because it was in the fucking locked locker and I didn’t have the key. But she still loves bringing this story up, and never wants to hear it and accuses me of being beyond disrespectful when i argue my fucking case. Anyways. After embarrassing me publicly, I’m obviously angry so I take up on the offer of my friend’s dad taking me home. Beforehand, before even telling my mother whether I was going in her car or not, she just left and disappeared, then expected me to find the car by myself. 

I was obviously fucking embarrassed, and the questions from my friends about my mother wasn’t helping. They kept asking where she was and I had to keep telling them I didn’t know. So I just drove along home with my friend, where my mother wouldn’t talk to me for a whole day, pretended to be in a lot of pain and complained to my father all evening, who of course took her side. 

To this day, she won’t drop me off or pick me up to meetings with friends, which means I can never go. Sorry for damaging your oh-so-fragile ego, nevermind mine. Guess who’s moving out AS SOON as I have enough money? This bitch.

Holy shit, this ended up long. Sorry for the people who do follow me. You can just unfollow me now.

#strict parents #help me #insane rules #parents #parenting

[takenbyheartstrings]

Distance | Grayson Dolan x Reader

Request: A blurb about Gray meeting a girl when they were in Australia 🇦🇺 (I see you girl) absolutely falling for her and being absolutely crushed knowing they were leaving for LA Flash forward a year and they kept in contact as much as they could for the time difference. Ethan recently noticed Gray has been down lately and knows exactly why. He enlist the help of YouTubes best surpriser and gift giving clickbait whore David Dobrik to help fly Y/N to LA and get the whole thing for next Tuesday video.

Warnings: Language, Angst, Fluff

A/n: “I see you girl” That made me laugh lmao, but enjoy anon! Also, I didn’t make this a blurb because I wanted to write this as an imagine and got carried away, whoopsies. Quick disclaimer also, you’re best friend is dating Shayne Topp. Also, I think this is one of the longest imagines I've ever written.

You were quite a big ‘Australian YouTuber’ with 1 million subscribers (and counting) most of your fans were Australian but you were a bigger fan of the Dolan Twins. You were also friends with some pretty big YouTubers as well as David Dobrik, Zane Hijazi (both in the vine days), James Charles and you met some more at Vidcon (au and us) but the two YouTubers you could never get a hold of were the Dolan Twins.

You lived near the beach so it was no surprise you went there. When you heard Ethan and Grayson were coming to Australia, you had booked Tickets to see their show, but alas, your little sister and her best friend wanted to go so you booked an Extra ticket and gave your good seats to her. You got to see them, but they got to meet them.

You sighed laying on the beach with your surfboard on the left of you, as your best friend Fawn was on your right. Her surfboard was also on her right. You sighed sitting up and grabbing a soda out of the esky and cracking it open.

You grabbed your camera and started snapping pictures for your photography account on Instagram. You and Fawn shared some laughs before she went out on the waves and so did you.

You guys stayed on the water for a while before getting off to be met with some familiar faces. Grayson and Ethan. She started hitting Fawn’s arm.

“Stop fucking smacking me,” she said, “what is wrong with you.” “Look over there you dumbass.” You said nodding your head over to the twins. “Holy shit.” Fawn shrieked. “We should go over there.” You turned around and looked at her, “Are you fucking crazy?” You questioned the girl. “No, they’re like, what, checking you out?” You went to turn around before she grabbed you, “You can’t look, you have to let them come to you.” “Is that how you got Shayne wrapped around your finger?” You asked her. “Hey, I went in for an audition and 5 months later end up dating one of the cutest beans in the world, but, this isn’t about me, so stop changing the subject.”

You sighed and looked at the boys who were intact eying you and Fawn. You rolled your eyes before laying down on your beach towel. You felt a presence’s surround you.

“Hi,” Fawn said sweetly, “Y/n, get up,” You looked up and saw Grayson and Ethan, “Hi,” You smiled. “What brings you over here?” “Oh nothin’, you just look like a girl my friend Jame’s told us about.” Ethan said. “James?” You asked and Ethan nodded, “Yeah, he and I are friends,” you chuckled, “You’re Ethan and Grayson, right?” “Yeah,” Grayson smiled, “Just curious, what’s your name?” You sighed, “Y/n L/n, the same thing on YouTube.” “What’s your handle?” Grayson asked for him and Ethan as he pulled out his phone. “@y/n.l/n” You smiled. “Following.” Ethan smiled, “Well, we have to go. We have a big flight to catch in the morning, so, see you ‘round, y/n.”

They weren’t very sly in the action, but you didn’t mind. It was honestly kinda cute how nervous they were and trying to hide it and Grayson did look good without his shirt on so you considered it a good day.

1 year later...

You sighed flopping onto your bed. It was hard to keep up with the time difference. You and Grayson had a complicated relationship seeing as both of you lived on opposite sides of the earth, but that didn’t stop you.

He was always missing you and wanting to talk to you and that’s all Ethan noticed.

“Heyyyyyyyyyy.” You smiled as FaceTime opened. “Hey, y/n,” He laughed as you turned off your lamp looking at the sun starting to come up. 4 am here, 11 am there. You woke up really early to work out, so it just worked. “I’m so tired, I only got 2 hours of sleep because I stayed up and edited this weeks video.” “You have to stop working yourself so hard.” “I know, but it’s so hard not to stay on schedule.” You sighed, “Anyway, I have to go pick up Fawn. She’s gonna go see Shayne.” “Talk to you later.” He smiled. “Byyyeeeee.”

you sighed as you put on some black skinny jeans and wore an oversized AC/DC shirt and picked up your vlog camera before you got a call from the infamous Ethan Dolan.

“Hey, Ethan!” you smiled, “I just got off the phone with Gray--” “Yeah, I know, just answer David’s call, it was all my idea just go with it, also, Fawn’s in on it.” he said before hanging up and just as his call was over David called you.

“Hi, Dave, I’m really confused.” “Okay, so, you’re flying to LA. Fawn has two tickets because I paid for them.” “What?” You asked, “Why?” “Seriously, y/n, we all know you and Gray are in love with you, it’s not a secret.” “David.” You sighed, “Grayson’s never gonna actually admit it.” “But you are, so take a chance and pleeeassseeee come.” You rolled your eyes, “Fine,” You sighed, “I’ll see you in LA, I guess.” “Thank you.”

David hung up and slowly the nerves were building up inside you, the camera caught it all, even when you and Fawn were carpooling your favourite songs, you were so nervous to see Grayson. But remembered that he was your best friend. Nothing could go wrong. Nothing will go wrong.

You finally were sitting on the plane. You grabbed your small camera out before pressing record, “So, you guys, I’m on the plane with Fawn and I’m gonna go see Grayson. Y’all know from all my previous videos before I met the twins that I had the biggest crush on Grayson, so I am not ready for this. I’m nervous and shit. I’m scared, okay, I’ll see y’all in about 13 hours?”

After the 13 long stuffy, non-stop flying hours on the plane you finally got off to see David standing there with his arms wide open. You hugged your long time friend and sighed, “It’s been so long!” You giggled. “I know.”

Fawn walked off the plane and saw Shayne wrapping him in a hug. She waved goodbye and they went off together to go to the SMOSH studio to film.

You smiled, “Let’s go, Dobrik.”

You got into David’s Tesla before pulling upto the Dolan house. You sighed and played with your hands.

“Yo, what if he doesn’t like me the same as I do,” “You’re bullshit if you believe that.” “What if don’t, Dave?” “Trust me, he does, I promise.” “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

You got out of the car, feeling the cold winter air as you waved goodbye to David and taking your luggage out of his car because Ethan offered to let you stay. You tugged on your jumper and walked up to the door, you were so anxious the thoughts and nerves coming back.

You knocked on the door and Grayson opened it. He jumped when he saw you. Confused but happy he pulled you into the biggest and tightest hug. He was happy.

Ethan walked into the room, “Hey, y/n,” He smiled. “You knew?” Grayson asked as he nodded, “Why didn’t you tell me, bitchass?” “Uh-Duh, cause then it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

That night

“Can’t sleep?” Grayson asked walking out onto the porch. “Yeah,” you sighed, “Just thinking.” “Fill me in,” He told you.

you sighed and rolled your eyes, “I’m thinking about this boy. He’s from back home.” You lied. Graysons face flashed with a small sadness, “What’s he like?” “Well, he’s kind, sweet, and funny.” You smiled looking at the sky, “He’s always making me smile and talking to me and telling me about his day, he always has this huge smile on his face and when he get’s mad at his older brother it’s funny. for me, at least.” You sighed, “Are you thinking about anyone?”

“Yeah.” Grayson said confidently. Your face flashed with sadness, “Really? Who?” “Well, she’s this amazing, cute and funny girl. She never fails to impress me, although our relationship is quite tough because she does live on the other side of the world and we literally are up until it’s her morning and my night.”

You laughed, “Wow, she sound’s amazing.” “I know right.” “Well, my plan was kinda destroyed because the guy I like is sitting next to me.” Grayson smiled, “Wow, that’s close.” “Yeah, it is, but I don’t mind.” You leaned in and pressed your lips on his before he pulled you closer and kissed you harder.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for that.” Grayson muttered. “I know exactly how long, because it’s been a whole goddamn year.” You whispered your breath touching his lips. “Finally!” Ethan yelled from inside, “Now get a room!”

#Grayson dolan #Grayson Dolan imagine #Grayson Dolan one shot #Grayson Dolan x reader #Grayson Dolan au #grayson dolan imagines #Grayson Dolan imagines #grayson and ethan dolan #ethan dolan #Ethan and Grayson #grayson and ethan #ethan #ethan dolan imagine #ethan dolan imagines #Ethan Dolan au #Ethan Dolan x reader #David dobrik #Shayne topp

[tf-tmnt]

Fallin. Rodimus x reader

this is a Rodimus x reader i wrote like years ago, that i had forgotten about that never got uploaded to wattpad. heres the first cringey ass chapter now.

"What in the hell is that!"

"Jee. I don't know, it kinda just fell outta the fucking sky!!"

"why is it so small?"

"and fleshy."

The different voice jumbled around me as my head spun. I groan, raising my hand over my face to cover the light.

"I wonder if it speaks."

I feel movement, the ground shook slightly underneath me.

"Will you idiots move! I need to see if it's injured." there was heavy movement and grumbles before a gasp. "By the all spark.."

i feel like i recognize that voice, but i just can't put my finger on it. "Ratchet. What is it?" a younger voice calls out.

He sighs. "She's human you dumb ass. you should know this! you wen't to the planet with us for primus sake!" Ratchet..that sounded familiar too.

"She doesn't seem to be injured. Just a bit shaken up, But I'll need to do a full scan back on the ship.." the voice known as Ratchet said.

I groan, pushing myself up from the ground.The small chatter and movement around me stopped as I opened my eyes. Man do I regret opening my damn eyes. I jump back, panic struck through me, upon seeing the giant ass robots in front of me. Most of them looked somewhat familiar. Then It clicked as I whipped my head around, looking at the closest mech.

"Ratchet?" My voice was scratchy.

The bots jumped back, Ratchet's optics widened. "Yes?"

My eyes go wide and go to the next bot. "Magnus? Ultra. Magnus?" I questioned. He just looked shocked but shook his head.

I nod my head towards the one horned, giant purple people eater, "Cyclonus."

My head shifts to one quite a bit smaller, a mini bot. I smile, seeing the white and blue bot. His head was pushed into his shell like body, slightly hiding behind everyone else. "Tailgate?!"

My head whips to each bot. "Brainstorm...Drift...Rewind...Chromedome...Whirl..."

Then my eyes land on him, the bright orangey red paint along with the yellow. Oh my god..my childhood crush stood right in front of me. "Roddy?!" I couldn't help but scream out his nickname. The already confused bots furrowed their brow ridges at me.

"How in the fu-" Whirl was cut off by brainstorm.

"Whoa, how do you know our names? How are you even breathing, humans need oxygen, don't they? What if this is a trap!" he spewed out words before pulling his blasters out, shoving them in my face, i jump back, smashing into the ground.

"Hey, hey, dude, chill, Im not a decepticon or from the D.J.D.-"

"How do you know about the D.J.D?" Chromedome stepped closer to me, kneeling slightly.

I sigh, face palming. "Okay, look, i don't know how I got into this..whatever this is, but Where I'm from you all are apart of this comic book series. You're called Transformers. Cybertronians from the planet cybertron. After the 4 million year war, and cybertron was rebuild, Rodimus set off to find the knights of cybertron, he got a crew, and a ship, the lost light, and set off.. Now I don't know how much of this is the same as my world, but that's how I know about you guys, and as far as the breathing thing..I uh, I don't really know to be honest. Please, just don't kill me, I'd rather not be killed by my childhood heroes"

"Us?" Ratchet asked, surprised.

"Childhood?" Brainstorm squinted at me.

Oh yeah..forgot they don't know earth terms.

"Oh, sorry, Sparkling hood heroes. And yeah. I mean, I was a quiet bitlet. I liked reading and watching TV, and instead of friends, I in a way had you guys, which probably sounds weird to you..so I'll just shut up now.." I blush as I let word vomit spill from my mouth. Ratchet smiled sweetly. He actually smiled, I made him smile! I did that!

Rodimus gawked. "Holy shit. She just made him smile. She really is from another universe if she can do that!" I chuckle and roll my eyes. Rodimus never changes.

"So. I have a lot of questions..Do you know our future? Did we have toy figures?! OH do I get my arms back!? Does Cygate become a thing, cause I ship that shit, when does chromewind get married?! Oh, do I get to be bad ass? I am for sure bad ass." Whirl went on as I just looked at him.

"Um. Yes. Yes. Tbd. Yes. and Tbd. and yes, whirl Very bad ass." i nodded, chuckling at him.

"What is this 'tbd' Magnus asked.

"To be determined" me, whirl and rod answer.

I whip my head around to Rodimus. "I didn't know you were text savvy." I tease.

He smirked. "Gotta keep up with bumbles back on cybertron!" I roll my eyes. I completely forgot those two were like the same age.

"Okay..well, I'm getting bored, soo, to the ship we go?" Whirl turned to the giant, no huge, no, gargantuan ship that was off in the distance.

He walked towards it, not waiting for anyone else to object, we all start towards it. I mutter an "Oh shit." as I stumble and stand fully, before running up after the group, who were just walking.

I bolt up to their peds, I was between Rodimus and Drift, who were talking about..what sounded like how to care for a human. they (Mostly Rodimus, while Drift silently agreed by shaking his head yes.)  Seemed like a kid getting their first pet, which I should be offended being compared to a pet, but since its Rodimus and Drift, I will even bark like a dog if it means it will please them. He talked about getting me a bed, and food, and my own room. Honestly, sounds fucking great, can I get belly rubs too?

"Hey ratchet, you know what all a human needs right?" Rodimus called, looking to the older bot.

Ratchet Rolled his optics, muttering out a "For fuck sake..." "Rodimus. She literally talks, just ask her for what she needs to survive!" He shakes his head at the young mech. Poor Ratchet, Always dealing with their bullshit. no wonder he is always so Done TM. with life. I would be too. he's too old for this crap.

I drag myself over the rocky and sandy terrain, I was jogging, almost running while the bots walked, we were about halfway to the ship. the 3 suns above us shun brightly , my face was red and sweat dripped down my back and through the gray shirt I was wearing. My jeans stuck to my legs. my red converse, no doubt had sweat pools at the bottom of them. My red flannel wrapped around my waist. I pick a great day to fucking wear jeans. why didn't I grab one with holes in them. I legit only have one pair that DOESN'T have holes in them and the One fucking day I wear them I get sucked into another World and end up sweating my ass off, walking to a spaceship with some giant robots. Just my odds. I grumble to myself as I try to make it down a "small hill" it was 10 foot, and steep as hell. once i was over it, I lost my footing slightly, my converse which had no grip slid against the rock and sand.

"Oh shiitt!!" I let out a shriek as I tumbled down the hill. My face collided with the hard rock, scraping my face, As I rolled down the hill. It got steeper as I fell, and I dropped off the side, landing on my right arm with a sickening "Crack". I scream out in pain, tears mixing with the blood on my face as I held my arm to me. This was just fucking great. I 100% just broke my arm..but look on the bright side, it was my right arm..I'm left handed, so at least I can still draw. I wail out, clutching my arm to me as pain throbbed through it. Everyone turned towards my screeching, optics wide with worry, Rodimus bolts towards me.

"Oh my primus, are you okay?" He gently scoops me up into his servos, turning towards the rest of the group, who just stood, looking panicked.

"Shes...leaking..red goop.." Whirl pointed out, obviously disgusted.

Ratchet shoves through the crowd of bots, pushing his way towards Rodimus and I. "Oh Boy...shes loosing blood. We need to get her to the med-bay!" He shouts, everyone squirms and makes way to start running back to the Ship, which now seemed even bigger than before.

"Will she be okay?" Rodimus asked, looking down at the little being in his servos.

Ratchet sighs. "Yes. humans are tougher than they look. She, from what i can see, she has broken her right arm, and has a cut on her face that will need to be disinfected and stitched up, but other than that she is perfectly fine." He pats Rodimus' shoulder before taking off towards the ship at a faster pace with the rest of them.

The walk..well Run, back to the ship was a bumpy one for me, every time Rodimus would slightly jostle me, I would groan in pain from my arm, making him repeat "sorry" over and over, I'm pretty sure I've heard him say sorry 36 times in the past 2 minutes. The sound of metal moving and air depressurizing filled my ears. The blinding Suns were now gone, the metal ceiling above me blurred in a gray and silver. The clanking of peds running in different directions, and Rodimus yelling out commands to the crew, echoed off the walls. "Drift get the ship in the air, Cyclonus, prepare everyone for take off, Tailgate..see what a human needs to live...Everyone else..er, do your jobs!" His voice boomed, making me vibrate against his chassis. We turned down a hall, the lights above brightening, I guess we were in  the med-bay. Rodimus brought his servos gently to the berth in front of him, letting me roll out of his palm and onto the metal bed. I groan upon impact, but sit up.

"ep, ep, ep, don't move!" I hear Ratchet shout from another room

Rodimus looks down at me, worry in his optics. Then he turns to Ratchet, who was now in the room with a very small, human sized bag in his hand. "Tell me when you're done repairing her." And with that, Rodimus walked out of the room, leaving me and Ratchet. I look about the room for a second. it was huge. well huge for me. there were a couple cybertronian sized desks, and about 5 berths, besides the one i was sitting on. Different Machines were shoved in the corner and to the sides of the room. Papers littered EVERYWHERE.  Messy was one word to describe it, but lets call it..Organized Chaos.

Ratchet Groaned in annoyance and looked down at me. "Ya know. I haven't had to use this stupid holoform in years! I never thought I'd see another freaking human again." he grumbled, placing the human sized bag down in front of me, which i could now see was a Doctors bag.

"Now here I am, using the stupid thing to patch up a human that supposedly from another Dimension, who just happened to fall out of the sky right were we were walking, on a random deserted planet! Ugh!" he continued to complain.

I shyly smile. "Its my destiny I guess.."

"Yeah. yeah. Destiny my aft. you already are starting to sound like Rodimus..Just. Sit still while I do that." he grumbled once more before a high pitched fizzling type sound rang out, along with the sound of Ratchet transforming to Alt mode. A man Appeared in front of me. My mouth dropped open wide. In all my time reading Fanfic, I never imagined Ratchet to look like this.  He looked about 50 but had gray hair, spiked up in the front, white streaked through the sides. he was tan, his eyes a bright and kind blue. he worn an orange button up underneath a white lab coat, Black dress pants with some bland doctor type shoes. My eyes widen as I look him up and down. I breath out a "Whoa." his eyebrows pushed up.

"What? Do I not look good for human standards?" his voice, sounded exactly the same, but more human.

I chuckle a nervous laugh. "No, its just, I've never imagined your holoform like this..not that I've imagined your holoform, cause that would be weird.." I mentally slap myself, face going red at the stupid thing I had just said. why can't i just keep my mouth shut? life would be so easy if I just didn't talk.

he chuckled before walking towards me, and the bag sitting in front of me. "I'm gonna need you to lift up your head" he asks, rummaging through the bag before pulling out a disinfecting wipe, and stalking towards me. He raises it to my face but stops seeing me flinch as he touched my face. "Easy. It may sting a bit.." He pushed the wet rag against my cheek, my skin screaming out in pain as he wiped away all the dirt, rock and blood from my face. Then he cleaned up my arm and started to wrap it, making me hold it straight out as he wrapped the black around it.

"Do you remember anything at all of how you got here?" he questions, face scrunched in concentration.

"I uh..I had just gotten up, and was on my way to work.. Did the same thing I did every other day, got dressed and then its off to work, work was pretty normal..until some lady came up to me, she was talking  about Wolves, and babies, it was weird. but she handed me this necklace and...wait" My hands go to my pockets and root through them till my fingers land on the rope chain. I pull it out, holding it up to the light to show him. the light shined through it, making colors go everywhere. "Anyways, she handed me this, and said something alone the lines of what i guess would translate into. Follow your destiny. Later than night i was walking home, it was late, the moon was shining brightly above me, and I tripped and fell and then next thing I know I'm falling on top of Rodimus!"

Ratchets eyes widen looking at the crystal on the necklace. "Oh my Optimus. we need op- oh primus." he started to panic, stepping back, clutching his chest. breathing heavily his holoform flickering. He was having a spark attack.

"Ratch. breath! breath okay?! look at me, look at me. you are fine okay?" I clutched his arm making him look at me, trying to calm him. He shook his head, looking into my eyes, clutching me back, breathing heavily.

"I. I need to..I need to finish your cast." he breathed out. Of course this idiot is more worried about my stupid broken arm, than him actually dying!

He grabbed onto the roll and continued to wrap it, his eyes staring at it, you could obviously see that something was bothering him. Did I do that? or was it the crystal? why did it scare him or whatever it did to him, so badly? is he okay?

"Done." he pushed down the last side, and looked at his work. I stick my arm out looking at it, my arm would be stuck in this thing for months. ugh. I hate this already.

"Thanks Ratchet..but are  you okay, like seriously, get First Aid in here or something, because you are not okay. what was that with the crystal?" I looked up to eyes, he still looked shook to say the least.

"Pah, I'm fine, better than ever! I may be old, but I can still get around! These hands are as steady as ever!" he waved me off, flickering off his holoform and transforming into his bi-pedal form.

I look up to his bright optics with worry. "No, no, something happened, what happened, what is this?" i pushed the crystal upwards closer to him, he eyed it cautiously. This thing is obviously important, but what is it?

"Ratchet, please, you obviously aren't telling me something, what is it?" i push further, batting my eyes and him and pouting my lip slightly. I'm a grown woman, but pouting should work, it always does, I mean, it works for dogs with humans, why not for humans with cybertronians?

He sighs loudly, crouching down a bit to be eye level with me. "Fine. What you have there...is very valuable, in fact, it could change the fate of our world. you have a fragment of the all-spark. which till now, we had thought was destroyed long ago within the battle, alpha trion had said it was destroyed within a forge.  I-I had glitched out a bit upon seeing it...And I don't really know what to do with it, I would call optimus, but he is busy with bumblebee, trying to restore cybertron, and we are so far in the galaxy, it would take eons before they could even get here..We cannot let anyone else know about this. they will want to take it from you. use what power it still has...from what i know, the all-spark has a way of..claiming owners, it will cling to a certain person, and then that person is the only one able to use it." he pauses looking down even close to me. "though. that does not explain why it sent you here, or why that woman on your world had it in the first place..and as for the wolves....well i have a few theories, but those can wait till tomorrow, you've had a long and stressful day, and you no doubt will be the center of attention for a bit."

he stands completely up, holding out a hand for me to jump into. i quickly waddle over and sit in his palm. he raises it slightly, holding me to his chassis before starting down a hallway. I looked all around, eyeing the different doors as we pasted, till we got to a big opening. it was what looked to be the main hall,  Rodimus'  winged speeches, and Drift whispering things in his audio receptor to say, all happened here. I smile to myself, thinking of all the goofy things they probably do on the ship.

Ratchet takes a turn that has a hall, and at the end, a single door. There was a sign on the front of it, it was written in gold lettering. "Captain of the Lost Light.' under it sat a Rodimus star, which was crudely tapped on. flame stickers all around the wording. Who let him be captain. like for real, like I love Roddy, but whoever thought putting a teenager in charge was a good idea, needs to be fired.

I chuckle at the door. Ratchet scoffs.

"Don't encourage it. He'll add more." he rolls his eyes, holding his servo to the door and banging on it. Almost immediately the door swooshed open. Out popped a orange and yellow head.

"Heya Ratch!-"

"Don't call me that."

"is the Human okay?" Rodimus brought his head down to where I sat in ratchet's palm, holding a digit out to me like a human would a stray animal. Me being me, as the digit got closer and closer, I pounced at it, hanging onto the giant finger. He lets out a shriek and jumps back, falling over his own peds. he topples onto the ground, a hard metal thunk sounded, making the ship shake and then groaning. I thankfully let go before he fell back completely, so i was now slightly hanging on ratchets digits.

"Why did it do THAT!" Rodimus screeched, still sitting on the floor.

I pull myself up towards ratchet, seeing my struggle, since I was doing it one handed, he pushed me back up with the other hand, giving me the silent 'that was dangerous, are you trying to die' look, with a hint of humor to it. I whip around to Rodimus, putting my hands  on my hips.

"IT? did you just call me an IT?" I screech, trying to sound as bitchy as possible. I love dicking with people. It doesn't really trigger me when I am called it. I understand it, coming from Aliens, who are different from humans.

His optics bug out. and he starts to stutter, he knows he fucked up, he went through this with Chromia, when he made the mistake of calling her, he. it wasn't his fault! he's just use to it! I mean how can you blame him, almost all cybertronians are male!

"N-No, I didn't mean, that, I- well i kinda mean't it, I just didn't know what pronoun you use and I didn't know if you were actually just a fem looking mech or-" he blubbered out words, trying desperately to fix his words.

I bust out laughing, I didn't mean to, it was just him. I mean, Rodimus loosing his cool was just too much. He was know as the cocky always ready for anything Rodimus Prime, not blubbering and rumbling for words. "Rodimus. Rodimus! I was kidding, calm down!"

"Wha-What?" he stuttered, his voice quiet as energon rose to his cheek plates.

"I'm not mad or offended. I was just messing with you!" I giggle, as he still sat on the ground

he looked up at me grumbling as he stood up. "Ya know, I don't remember humans being this big of jerks!" he complained, pointing to me in a teasing manner.

Ratchet cleared his throat before speaking. "She had a broken arm and a few stitches, she needs rest, I hope you will care for her properly. she is not a pet, If i hear even the slightest word about her needs not being met I will have someone else do the job." And with that, Ratchet held his hand out to Rodimus, who plucked me from the medics palm. I watched as Ratchet walked back towards the med-bay, and the captain's door shut in front of us.

I turn in his hand to look up at him, he was looking down at me, a small smile on his lips. His optics were even brighter than I ever imagined, they could light up a whole room with their pretty color. I hadn't really realized i was staring at him.

"You okay, human?" he asked, looking me up and down, looking at my injuries.

"huh. what? oh yeah. Yeah!..I'm fine, just got distracted by your optics...thy're pretty.." I mumbled the last part out, hoping his audio receptors didn't hear it.

"o-ooh....hey, uh you want me to sit you on my desk?" he asked, blue on his cheeks, obviously, trying to keep a conversation, despite the awkward tension.

"oh, uh. sure." I smile up at him, as he holds me against his chest, walking over to a desk that was right next to the berth.

there wasn't all that much in the room..that i could see at least. there was a berth, and a desk which was cluttered with papers, which i'm currently standing on, a dresser type thing that had empty blocks of energon on it, some of the drawers were pulled out, showing the different waxes and what would normally be car supplies on earth. there was also a closet..which was latched shut, you could see a blue thing, trying to spill out of the door, it looked almost like a skateboard.

I turn my head back to Rodimus after looking about the room. "Sorry about the mess, wasn't expecting company." he chuckled nervously shoving papers to the side of the desk so that i could sit on the edge. I push my legs down, so they dangled off the side.

"So...what do you need, to like, survive?" he cocked his head slightly, like a confused dog.

I chuckle a bit at his cuteness before answering. "Well, uh. I'm gonna need a bed, a bathroom, a food supply, entertainment, and some different clothes." I listed off different things that I would need to stay on the ship. I knew it would be a while before i could even think about getting back home, that is even if I wanted to.

"Okay, consider it done!...just one question...whats a bed? and a bathroom? and cl-oth-es?" he listed off his questions, holding out his digits.

"i-um-uh." I pausing thinking of how I could explain this to him.. "Okay..so a bed, is like a berth, but soft, and for humans...clothes are...well these" i grab my shirt and tug on it slightly, doing the same to my pants. "and a bathroom is um a...- wait a minute! Can't you just google this shit, you're a Robot for gods sake!" i burst, throwing my hands up at him.  My cheeks glow with embarrassment.

he bursts out laughing at me. "ya know i was on earth for a bit, i didn't learn much but i did know what a bathroom was....mainly cause the human i had to guard constantly needed to use one....plus i can use google. so I kinda put 2 and 2 together." he chuckles again, I roll my eyes.

"Anyways. tomorrow around noon we should be arriving at a depot, so we can get some of your supplies there. for whatever reason, all other species are like, obsessed with earth products, so it shouldn't be too hard to find some things." he smiled down at me.

"Including you?" I ask with a smirk, thinking about the cans of wax that were in the drawer.

"Shut up, not my fault your species makes good products to keep metal shiny and clean." he holds his head high, probably trying to protect his pride.

I grin back up at him, chuckling when a loud voice boomed over an intercom, it sounded like Ultra Magnus. "Lights are now out. Everyone must go into your assigned habsuite, failure to do so will result in punishment from me. Goodnight." the voice shut on ask quickly as it came.

I cock an eyebrow up at Rodimus in question. he sighs. "He's starting this new, curfew thing, cause too many bots were staying at swerves and constantly getting drunk."

I scoff.

"Yeah, I know its stupid. me and Drift and the others sometimes sneak out, just to try and get caught by him. its a fun game, we should play it sometime when your arm is healed." he looked down at me and then to the berth.

"Yeah. I'd love that." I smile up at him.

"We should be getting to recharge." he sighs, shuffling towards the berth, peds dragging on the ground. He falls onto the berth, making the room shake slightly.

his head was now closer to mine, since the desk was right near the head of the berth. I turn towards him and stand, walking closer. he holds his hand out slightly.

"I know it isn't the softest place in the world, but you can sleep over here with me if you want..I promise I won't squish you." He holds out his hand for me to crawl across, onto the berth.

I chuckle softly before climbing on, and across his arm, sitting next to him slightly.  he shifts around a bit and I hear a click before the room goes dark, other than the slight glow of the energon slipping through Rodimus' Armor cracks, and the bright glow of his optics. He shifts a bit again, I close my eyes, curling into him a bit, snuggling the warmth I could get. I drifted deeper and deeper into the darkness till I felt myself being picked up and placed on something much warmer, I sighed in content and curled into the warmth, clinging to whatever was producing. the last thing i remember was the slightest whisper from Rodimus.

"Goodnight little human."

#tf #transformers #transformers headcanons #transformers imagine #roddy #rodimus #hot rod #maccadam #rodimus prime #lost light #mtmte #mtmte rodimus