#i hate asking anyone for anything I've just not had a lot of options the last year

[taylorman2274]

We Care About You (Part II)

The aftermath that follows is a struggle for everyone to comprehend.

Content Warning(s): N/A

Notes: SAGAU; GN!Reader

Word Count: 1k

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Taglist: @silverstarred

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The past few days have been hard for your mind to wrap around.

Ever since that particular incident you had while playing Genshin, you've been extremely hesitant to log back on. Now that you knew all the people of Teyvat were self-aware, you were scared to imagine what they thought of you.

"Have they been self-aware the entire time that I've been playing? Have they always been able to hear my voice whenever I spoke aloud? Do the Traveler and their friends hate me for forcibly controlling their movements and actions like puppets? If that's the case, wouldn't it be better for me to leave them alone without letting them know?"

It doesn't seem like there's any part of your day where you're not thinking about how to follow up with the world of Genshin Impact. In fact, it's gotten so bad for you that some of your friends have noticed your change in mood and asked if anything was wrong.

Knowing that this situation is not only unheard of but also impossible to comprehend for anyone, you simply told them that you were dealing with personal issues, which honestly isn't that far from the truth.

Eventually, you began to worry if some of the people in Teyvat would figure out a way to reach you beyond the computer should you not reach back to them soon. In the past, you would've laughed at such a thought. But now that you've witnessed the impossible, you didn't want to wait around and find out.

"If I'm going to continue playing Genshin, I should at least try and accommodate their needs and wants better."

As much as you didn't want to delay your return to Genshin any further, you felt that researching all of your current playable character's needs, wants, likes, and dislikes took top priority over anything else in your life right now.

...Well...besides your needs and wants.

First, you took note of their favorite and least favorite foods. You would feel pretty bad if you kept feeding them food that wasn't their preference. Especially since characters like Lisa and Ganyu were vegetarians.

Second, you took note of everyone's talents. While you know that some characters had passive talents which gave you extra dishes when cooking or extra materials when crafting, you felt that those jobs should be left to the professionals, such as Xiangling and Albedo respectively.

"Let's see. First off, I should probably remove the people in my party with full-time jobs, as they take priority over exploring with the Traveler. So I should probably replace any Knights of Favonius, Liyue Qixing, Tri-Commission Member, etc. However, that doesn't exactly leave me with a lot of options to choose from. Although Xiangling works for Wanmin Restaurant, she's currently exploring Teyvat for ingredients. I assume accompanying the traveler would be fine with her. Bennett works for the Adventure's Guild so that works as well. But that also leaves me with a Pyro-heavy party, which may pose a problem for enemies such as Pyro slimes..."

However, the more you spent time researching, the more pessimistic and depressed you began to feel. Here you were spending all this effort trying to accommodate to all the characters you've obtained without even knowing if they gave a single thought or care in the world towards you.

"...I never really asked if they wanted to join the Traveler's adventures. ...So...maybe I should just only use the Traveler...?"

You sighed deeply. This was not gonna be good for your mental health.

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Meanwhile...

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The Traveler didn't know what to think.

On one hand, they were happy that [Y/N] was getting some much deserved rest. On top of that, they were also happy that they got to have a break from doing commissions all the time. But on the otherhand...

They were really starting to miss you.

This is the longest that they have gone without feeling your presence and they were starting to worry if they had accidentally scared you off due to that incident.

The incident that revealed Teyvat's self-awareness.

"...You're thinking about [Y/N] again, aren't you?" Paimon asked.

The Traveler chuckled sadly. "Is it really that obvious?"

"Kind of? Paimon thinks that's what everyone is thinking about."

They believe her. Zhongli, Venti, and a few others had reached out to them over the past couple of days for any news about [Y/N]. They were saddened by their expressions when they told them they had no news to give.

..."Y/N..." The Traveler sighed.

"Hmm?" Paimon hummed in thought, "What was that?"

"...To think that was their name all along. And to even think that they may be just as human as most people in Teyvat! It’s honestly kind of relieving when you think about it.

Although they weren't going to lie. At first, they saw [Y/N] as an unknown entity that possessed them to do its bidding. It was scary at first, knowing that neither them nor Paimon were able to figure out a way to interact with or avoid it. However, after solving both Mondstadt's and Liyue's respectable crises and powering them up with newfound strength, they started to see you as a sort of companion similar to Paimon.

"Yeah, even Paimon is starting to miss traveling and exploring with them."

"Is that so?" The Traveler taunted, "I thought that at one point you were trying to prove yourself as the better guide?"

"Hey! Paimon told you already that she has proved herself as the superior guide time and time again." She exclaimed as she crossed her arms.

They laughed. It felt nice to tease Paimon like this to distract them from the lack of [Y/N]'s presence, but they were starting to feel like they couldn't keep this up forever.

"Regardless, Paimon hopes that [Y/N] comes back soon. Everybody will feel a lot better once they do."

The Traveler looked up to the night sky and watched the stars flicker with light. Paimon followed their gaze and gave a sorrowful frown.

"I hope so too."

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Author Side Notes: I had an idea.

But in all seriousness, I'm flattered by all the positive comments, reblogs, and likes from the previous post. I only expected to get around 20 notes since it was my first post but somehow I've ended up at 800+ and counting? It's almost too much for me to handle lol.

As for the rest of this story, I've decided that it will likely take around five parts for me to reach its conclusion. We've got two down so far, so that makes three more to go. Of course, that's only if y'all want to read more.

#genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin self aware #sagau x reader #sagau #sagau genshin #platonic genshin x reader #platonic #gn reader #gender neutral reader

[masterjedilenawrites]

Gello! It's nice to meet you! Though i am dropping by to ask, what are your thoughts on Crosshair having like a long-term relationship? It's like a year plus some months.

Welcome, nice to meet you too! 🤗

I hope you were wanting a whole rambling post on this, because that's what I've got for ya. 😅 I have no self-control when it comes to imagining Crosshair in a relationship.

Crosshair would have never planned to be in a relationship of any kind. It would've been something he just fell into, finding a person he was actually, genuinely comfortable with and not wanting to part from them. Sharing life with them quickly becomes the new norm, so when he's asked about the status of things, or about the future and what he wants... he's confused. Of course he's committed. Isn't that obvious? He's not interested in keeping his options open, not when he's found probably the one person in the whole galaxy that cares for him this much. And once Crosshair commits to something, he's not letting go.

Day to day, he doesn't change much. He still has his routines, his preferences and his annoyances, his skills and his shortcomings, all the things that make him him. But to the few who know him well, they see the difference a long, loving relationship has made in his spirit. He just seems lighter somehow. Less severe, more comfortable. Still grumpy at times, sure, but everyone knows his partner will help him come around when needed.

He's not a pushover, or wrapped around their finger in any way. But he does trust them. He listens to them. And they are the type of partner that would only try to change his mind when he was truly being unreasonable. They filter a lot of petty complaints out, things his brothers or the general public go to them with, and they only occasionally agree to the point of then giving Cross an earful. He takes what they say to heart and makes the correction, albeit still in his own stoic or sassy Crosshair way.

He finds it natural to make decisions in tandem. He's not one of those super protective boyfriends, so if his partner wanted to tag along on missions, he'd be cool with it. He keeps an eye on them same as the rest of the squad. But if they would rather settle down somewhere and keep different hobbies, he'll be supportive of that, too. Just so long as he's free to do his own thing as well. (Gun to his head, though, he'd confess he prefers doing things together.)

Communication is his weak point. Though he gets better over time, he still struggles to vocalize what he really feels. So he'd really only be with a patient and intuitive partner. Someone who can sense when he's holding back and knows how to gently coax it out of him. Anyone else would have left him early on, too frustrated or pushy to make a longterm relationship work.

Physical intimacy for him is a private affair. He hates the thought of having eyes on him in these moments. Even a "chaste" kiss makes him feel too vulnerable to be seen by anyone other than his partner. So how quickly they progress in this realm of their relationship will solely depend on how much privacy they're able to get.

All in all, he's a simple man in a relationship. He will give his partner anything with the expectation they return it in kind - trust, benefit of the doubt, attention, space, care.... Again, he never would have sought this sort of thing out, never thought it was possible to feel the way he does, to have even met someone like them... But now that he has, he can't imagine his life any other way. If anything were to happen to them, or if for some reason they had a change of heart and left (though let's be real, his perfect partner would never), he isn't going to be in a relationship ever again. It's them or no one. So really, a longterm relationship for Crosshair is more a lifelong relationship.

Every Character Tag: @dangerousstrawberrypie, @justanothersadperson93, @arctrooper69, @sleepycreativewriter, @techie-bear, @theroguesully, @cw80831

Bad Batch Tag: @kaijusplotch, @rebel-finn, @lucyysthings, @marvel-starwars-nerd, @nekotaetae, @severalseashellsbytheseashore, @lackofhonor, @flowered-bicycles, @foodmoneyandcats, @nahoney22, @dangraccoon, @mishakoon

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💋 Tender Loving Clones Master List | 🌙 Master List of Master Lists

#star wars #the bad batch #crosshair #crosshair x so #crosshair x reader #romance #relationship #long term relationship #tender loving clones

[gwenllian-in-the-abbey]

What do you think of book&show!Rhaenyra as characters? And who do you like more?

Hi anon! I've been turning this one over in my mind since you sent it, because I wanted to give it some thought (and anyone who is sick of reading show critical stuff, just skip this one. I don't hate the show, I just think it's interesting and fun to dig a bit deeper). What it comes down to for me is that while book!Rhaenyra is fun, I wish the show had been braver with their depiction of Rhaenyra.

While book!Rhaenyra's motivations are not particularly complex, I feel like I understand her better than show!Rhaenyra. She hasn't heard a prophesy, nor does she feel any real responsibility toward the kingdom to make her second guess the war; her father had made her heir and that was that. Anyone who disagrees can go ahead and die. Her motivations are not particularly noble or self-sacrificing. If anything, it's the opposite. Book!Rhaenyra loves the finer things in life, she's headstrong, and a bit of a mean girl. She goes after what she wants unapologetically, lies through her teeth and never backs down. Book!Rhaenyra never weighs the consequences of her actions, she is vengeful and reactive. She is given terms which would allow her to keep Dragonstone in perpetuity, and unlike her show counterpart, she doesn't even consider them. She says no outright, even before Luke is killed, and replies to tell Aegon that, "I shall have my crown or I shall have his head." And while surely she values the lives of her sons, you get the sense that she never even considers the danger this war puts them in because losing isn't even an option for her. She's going to win because of course she is. And as a reader, you never question her motivations really because, whether you agree with her or not, it is easy to understand that she is fueled by a self-righteous conviction that she will be taking what she feels belongs to her, and woe be to anyone who gets in her way.

Show!Rhaenyra, on the other hand, is more thoughtful. We see this when she's crying at half-dead Viserys' bedside telling him that being heir is a burden, and we see it when she truly considers Otto's peace offer, when she tears up to see the page that Alicent saved from their girlhood. We see it in how she talks to her sons and in the way she apologizes to Alicent at the dinner table. She seems to have some concept of what is at stake, and understands that the throne is a tremendous burden and responsibility, and that the lives of her people are in her hands, and moreover that she does have the option of backing down. When she considers the peace offer, she very clearly states that the prophesy means that she has a responsibility to keep the realm stable, and maybe it is not the best thing for the realm is to throw it into civil war in order to sit the throne at all costs. But all of this, the added sense of awareness of the enormity of the the responsibility and the desire to do right by the realm, while they make her an easier person to support, also makes a lot of her actions that much harder to understand.

One of my main nitpicks with the show as a whole is that the actions of the book characters do not always fit the personalities of the show characters, and so the characterization seems inconsistent. Rhaenyra is aware of the gravity of her position, she learns about the prophesy and the threat to the realm, and then proceeds to have three bastard children (and this is a problem, because it jeopardizes her position. If she gets caught or Corlys/Laenor change their minds and disavow those kids, it's over for her). We have things like Rhaenyra asking for Aemond to be "sharply questioned," which comes from the book, when the episode before she was offering up a dragon and a Jace/Helaena engagement (a show invention, and even though it's not a great deal for the greens if you give it some thought, it reads to the audience as a peace offering). Or you have her telling Daemon she needs his help to fight the greens, and there's this whole conversation about making their enemies believe they're the kind of people who will kill to protect Rhaenyra's claim, but then in episode 8 they have this attempt at reconciliation between Alicent and Rhaenyra and in episode 10 Rhaenyra is going on about how Daemon has "gone to madness, gone to his war." She's seriously entertaining Otto's peace offer (which never happened in the book) while sending her sons off to muster support.

F&B has pretty thin characterization, but what is there comes mostly from the characters' actions and their dialogue. To create a consistent character, the writers needed to start there and ask, what kind of person would say these things and do these things, rather than taking the character they conceived, and trying to shoehorn canon events into that characterization. And the thing is, the show could have created a more fleshed out version of book!Rhaenyra and still made her sympathetic. Take Shiv Roy from Succession, for instance. Shiv is someone who is a victim of misogyny, but also undeniably not the best choice for CEO (neither, of course, are any of her brothers). She's overprivileged and not nearly as experienced or as smart as she thinks she is, she gets in her own way, and in trying to be "one of the boys," she consistently overshoots and alienates actual allies. But she's also a victim of misogyny-- she is expected to provide a woman's touch to delicate matters, but is expected to be as ruthless and cutthroat as the men. Her fuckup brothers are given endless second chances, but Shiv has no such leeway. The specter of motherhood hangs over her constantly-- once she becomes a mother, she will be cast out from the world of men, an asterisk beside her name. And show!Rhaenyra does lean into this a bit (think of Rhaenyra's boobs leaking in the small council, her being stuck giving birth at the moment when leadership is needed in episode 10), but it doesn't commit to the darker side of this. It is not brave enough to make Rhaenyra a bad person as well as a victim.

The thing about Succession is that the show never asked us to view Shiv as good, or as a better choice than her brothers. It didn't even ask us to find her particularly sympathetic, although I certainly do find Shiv sympathetic in some ways. She has a genuine love for her family that makes the moments when she betrays them even more bittersweet, and we can understand her as a pretty bad person while still understanding the ways in which patriarchy screwed her over. In fact, in some ways it was refreshing to see that a woman could be privileged, ruthless and occasionally cruel and still get fucked over (this article is a good breakdown of Shiv-- now imagine a Rhaenyra in this mold!). But central to the difference between HotD and Succession is that Succession doesn't ask us to view the "throne" as a force of good, nor the position as a force of change. The CEO position in Succession is pretty explicitly toxic. Roman refers to the company itself explicitly as a cage. The audience is meant to understand that the person who "wins" is going to be more miserable and more morally compromised as a result. And the Iron Throne is similar. It's a throne made of literal swords! The closer you get to it, the more cursed and compromised you become. But so far, HotD not only insists on casting Rhaenyra as a protagonist, with the addition of the prophesy and the vision of the white hart, winning the throne becomes something she must do for the greater good, her claim something she has been righteously chosen to uphold. And if winning the throne is righteous, then the throne itself must be righteous too. And that's a framing that I don't think can hold up through the Dance, but I fear that the show may have backed itself into a corner by casting Rhaenyra as the correct choice, which inherently frames the throne as something she is right to fight for, no matter the cost to the people, her family, or herself.

#asks #hotd critical #hotd vs succession #rhaenyra targaryen #shiv roy

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not holding my gf's hand in public? Tw for homophobia and violence

My gf and I are both cis women, and we live in the southern us. The city where we live is kind of progressive, but generally this whole state is like fascist and scary for a couple of lesbians on their own. Before anyone says anything about it, moving is not an option. If I had the money to move I'd have the money to ask a therapist this question. I ain't got it fam lol

So anyway we're safe in our neighborhood and among our friends and immediate families (parents/siblings). I'm a very affectionate person. I love my gf and I show that love by touch. All the time. Just not in public.

I will not give her any PDA in public. It is my one line in the sand.

When I was younger and dating my first ever gf two girls about our age in a town not far from me were shot by a homophobe while they were on a date. One girl died. I've never forgotten it. It's been a decade and I still think about it. I think about how young they were and I think about the girl who lived, having to go on knowing that she'd lost someone she cared about so senselessly. I've never been publicly affectionate in any of my relationships because of this.

I explained this to my gf pretty early on. I think being visibly queer in public is brave and admirable and I wish I had that courage, but I don't. I love my gf. Her life is more important to me than making a statement and I told her so.

I struggle with anxiety and my gf knows this, and she knows that I often try to fight my anxiety by doing things that scare me. I get anxious in crowds so if I have to go to the store I'll go first thing in the morning as soon as it opens, but every now and then I'll make myself go in the afternoon just to prove I can, that kinda thing. My gf supports me and tries to help me when I decide to do this.

So when we go out, she does occasionally try to be affectionate with me. To kiss me in the car in the parking lot or hold my hand when she thinks no one is looking. I said the thing about how I try to manage my anxiety to emphasize that I don't think she's ignoring my boundary; I think she's trying to help me be brave, which is something I've expressed to her that I want to do. I don't feel like she's pressuring me when she does this. It's just that because I'm so anxious I'm more vigilant than she is, and often when she thinks no one can see us they can, and I tell her so.

When I tell her no it hurts her feelings. She's never said that explicitly but I know her well and I know when she's hurt or disappointed. She doesn't want to blame me for it but when I turn her down it looks like I'm ashamed of her, even though she knows the reason why. And I feel like an asshole for telling her no, because I do love her and I do want to kiss her and I do wish I was brave enough to do that without worrying. It hurts me to tell her no but I can't ignore the reason why I do. It causes me stress when this happens but I also don't want to tell her to stop because part of me likes that she wants to try. It makes me feel wanted. I don't want that to go away but I hate telling her no and I feel stuck.

So AITA for not touching her in public?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[stormblessed95]

I'm Stepping Away For A While...

Over the past week, and then some, I have been called a multitude of names in an effort to make fun of me and rude names including wh*re, p**sy, bitch, a liar, a fake, etc. I've been told I'm a fake/bad ARMY, a fake jikooker, etc. Ive had people call my friends deragatory names and misgender them. And I've also had someone in my DMs try to gaslight me into believing that this was not harassment or Bullying, but that I should apologize to my followers for threatening to block people and that people were just expressing strongly worded commentary over how my actions hurt them. And that I needed to take responsibility for creating the drama at all. And none of that is okay, and honestly it's been a lot. And the way people just brushed over the name calling and harassment regardless of if they disagreed with me or liked me, that was a lot too.

Blocking people to curate my space is not harassment or bullying or disrespectful. Its simply protecting myself and trying to curate a safe space for me personally. Nor have I ever started a hate campaign to try and drive another blogger off the platform. And if a post of mine encouraged people to send messages or hurtful asks to someone else, and I KNEW about it, I would've said something and asked them to stop. Sharing an opinion or disagreeing with someone is not me sending anyone hate. Nor would I ever want that for anyone regardless of any disagreements we had over whatever topic.

I've lost quite a few followers over the past week, people believing things that are being said and that's fine, i was never here for the numbers anyway. Id rather you unfollow or block me peacefully if you dont like me or my posts. Some of the people engaging with this hate against me were honestly surprising. But it is what it is. But I don't feel safe in this space anymore. I honestly haven't for a while. Blogging isn't as fun anymore. I don't want to post while it feels like a chore. And that's not because of anyone or anything in particular. I opened this blog because it brought me joy and it was fun. And it's really sad that something that brought me happiness is no longer doing that for me. It's not just all this drama either. It's probably been awhile coming, making my timeline posts for longer posts felt more like something I had to do for you all instead of something I wanted to do for me. And that's not what I want for this space.

So I'll be stepping away for awhile. When or if I come back will depend on if I can get that joy back for doing this and I feel like this can be a fun corner of the internet for all of us together again. And also for if I feel like I can do this without it being so mentally draining and just not good for my mental health like it has been lately.

I'll leave my blog here and my masterlist because I know that a lot of people enjoy the archive of some past content I have cataloged there. I don't want to take that away from anyone for that reason alone since I want people to be able to access that content if they can't otherwise find it. I also want the option to be able to come back to this blog again at some point. So I don't want to delete it or say I'm stepping away permanently, nor do I want people wondering what happened to me or anything. I just need a break. I do apologize for all the post series I have started that are remaining unfinished now for a little while.

If you want to unfollow me knowing that I'll be absent from here for awhile or for any other reason, that's totally fine. Honest. No hard feelings. I wish you well and hope everyone will continue to do well and enjoy the next few months of music, content and love from the members. Maybe I'll try to be back in time for JJK1 whenever that happens.

Again, this is just something I need. I'm okay, I'm not hurt or upset. I just need a break. I appreciate you all understanding. I'll still be in this fandom and be ARMY for life. I'll still be around for the next day or so. Thank you for understanding. I do love you guys and hope to back as soon as I'm able to.

[docholligay]

Going through someone's blog and seeing two posts, like...4 days apart ? Of:

Post a: neurotypical people don't understand how much of a struggle it is to listen to them talk about stuff I don't care about :( I wish it was socially acceptable to tell them I'm not interested, ever.

Post b: honestly hurts so much when you can tell someone doesn't care about your special interest. :(

I just want to cup your face and go, "please reread those and let's talk about social kindness"

I did block them, I think I am reaching a friggin... point break over here. I have been weird all my life, I was an EXTREMELY lonely child, and if someone wanted to tell me about their pet lizard I would have died happy, and if they had listened to me talk about the time Kate Harony burned down a barn to get doc out of prison, my tiny child heart would have burst. Like, that's give and take.

I've been trying to express this deep deep SCRATCH of irritation for weeks now, and I think a closer step to it, is... neurotypical, if we believe anyone is, people, also have feelings and needs and preferences. They ALSO get to decide what they can and can't live with.

I have a pretty classic and overwhelming strain of ADHD. Though, I feel less and less like saying the word for it matters, and get closer and closer to identifying as Fucking Weird. My mother is broadly neurotypical. She gets to have her feelings be hurt if I don't want to hear about her and her boyfriend's day at Costco. That's what she did with her day. She wants to tell me. I owe her that if I want to talk about my run, for example. I listen to jetty talk about coding even though I legitimately don't understand. I try and follow along!

I get tired of the idea that you don't ever have to put effort into relationships, and if you do, they aren't good relationships. And this attendant idea that being nice is masking behavior when it's you, but it's just kindness when it's other people doing it.

If it is true that you don't owe anyone anything, then the reverse is also true. No one owes you anything. This is not how I want to live.

There are things I do that are basically harmless: I have a lot of trouble sitting still, I'm twitchy and startle easily, and a million other small things that as it turns out I'm actually not going to mention because I don't like attention being drawn to them and i hate it when people notice, and I know they do.

None of those things really affect other people.

There are also things I do that are anywhere from annoying to harmful: I forget things, I interrupt people,* I sometimes zone out and lose the thread of whatever was going on.

If I love people, and I want them to love me, I have to treat them with that love as much as is possible. If I forget something, and make someone feel rejected, that is true whether or not I can pin a diagnosis to their lives. I hate to say it, but, "treat people as you would like to be treated" is often a very good guideline. Do you want someone to listen to you talk about the video game you really love? Then you should listen to them talk about Crossfit. Or, I guess the secret third option is, maybe you don't want to be friends, but that, too, is a choice.

I've been working with my three year old on conversation, and we've come up with things you can ask people if you'd like to get to know them better. Her current favorites are "What's your favorite animal?" and "what's your favorite color of crayon?" I think these are both great topics for a three year old. I want to teach her that if she wants people to talk to her and be engaged with her, she will have to give them the same.

This is true of everyone. Everyone has feelings. Everyone has interests and thoughts and preferences. I cannot emphasize enough how important I think it is to remember that life is a chorus, and none of us are the soloist. We are here for each other. Other people are not your backing vocals.

*this is also a cultural issue, though. I don't actually experience problems with this in some circles.

[mdhwrites]

Going back through TOH's episodes, it strikes me how boring they are. Part of the problem seems to be how criminally unfunny the show is, generally speaking. I can count how many times I've laughed on one hand. In fact I can list them:

There was the "It's been my dream since I was a boy" guy pushing kids off cliffs (Moving Hassle), Luz's "He'll be fine" after throwing Hunter overboard - and then his subsequent re-entry (Hunting Palismen) - and lastly Luz tumbling offscreen in front of Amity after a spider crawls on her face (Grom). That's 3 scenes, 4 jokes if we're being charitable. And sure, maybe my sense of humour is just incompatible with TOH's and I'm being harsh.

But I can't deny that I just feel like there's no rewatch value in TOH? Like it's just... the jokes are so bad to the point it's not fun, it's not entertaining, it's a slog, I see no value in retreading the same ground. And I am a SERIAL rewatcher! This is coming from someone who spends maybe 85% of their time experiencing the same stories! I love seeing well-done media all over again, because even if I know what's going to happen or what they will say, a well-structured joke or a skillfully delivered line is still gonna engage me.

I can't even recommend the show to anyone because I HAVE in the past... and what ends up happening is they watch the first couple episodes, get bored, go "I recognize that you like this, but it's not my thing" and drop it. And I CAN'T BLAME THAT! Because that's how I reacted too when I got into the show! I only stuck with it because it seemed like it was going really interesting places. And it tried to, I think, and failed.

I'm also a very fandom-heavy person so TOH's boring episodes have made it increasingly harder for me to stay within it. Because I'm not rewatching anything, I can see myself in real time as I forget more and more of the plotlines, and even a lot of the characters. It's just... kind of disappointing. It's like I just had a gradual fizzling out of interest. I don't even hate the show, which might be better in some ways - instead I just can't muster enough shits to feel any type of way towards it.

I rambled a bit but I guess my ultimate ask here was: what are your thoughts on whether or not TOH manages to entertain new/old viewers?

So I like S1. I think the characters are what carry it and that they are at their most interesting, EASILY, in S1.

The vast majority of S1, in terms of concepts and executions for plots, is OKAY AT BEST.

This actually just comes down to a simple tonal decision of TOH and also just the fact that a boring world with boring magic creates little to do with bog standard plots and TOH actually has a LOT of bog standard plotting. It is a pretty classic story structurally and takes genuinely very few risks in the structure... Which is okay in theory.

There is nothing wrong with not reinventing the wheel and TOH talks a big game about subverting tropes but no. As a fantasy fan, I can tell you this is EXCEPTIONALLY normal. Like... Insultingly from how much it talks a big game. Especially because if you're going to do classic, you have three options: Shoot the moon, lean into the unique elements of your concept or do it VERY. VERY. WELL.

And remember: They did a body swap episode and it is one of the most hated episodes of the entire show. That's not a good sign.

But this touches on the second problem I brought up: This is a boring world with boring magic. Because TOH's fantasy world is so basic, has little magic and little flair with its magic, it inherently limits what it can do. Now, it doesn't have to be this way but the show made it this way with how little we see of it, how limited it is (like how plant magic is 99% vines), and how often it just blatantly makes one to one comparisons between it and our world with effectively NOTHING altered like how the covens are just jobs, right down to them being introduced through a job fair and a boring one at that.

So when we look at a classic episode concept like the body swap episode, the three plots are... Easily replicated elsewhere. One person gets in trouble in the swap's job because they don't know what they're doing (with the most unique twist of this actually landing them in prison), a classic animal plot where they're taken in by a place that seems cozy and then isn't with literally no changes, and finally... Teenager pisses off bullies and agrees to jump DEAD MAN'S GORGE! But instead of skateboards and people really building it up, its rat beasts.

None of these plots are actually bad, they're go tos for a reason, but... No one is bringing anything special to this. Luz is entirely ignored so her character may as well not matter, Eda is doing NOTHING to add to her plot and King... King is fun for about two minutes leading the bullies and otherwise is just any other character in this situation. It's not bad, I personally enjoy parts of the episode... But it's nothing special. From the second the thing that X character is going to do is revealed, you can guess every step of the plot and they don't even really throw in good jokes in the process. A couple jokes but nothing memorable because everything is weirdly subdued compared to how other shows would be, even in an episode that is definitely trying to be more over the top.

And this runs into the inherent tonal issue of TOH: It doesn't want to be an adventure comedy. Those are genres that are commonly really over the top. They hear jump the shark and go "How about a shark jumping ten other sharks in order to finish making a can of tuna for their fire giant overlord?" And the face of this fact, in that the genres it pitches itself as for the first two episodes!

TOH flatly refuses to be silly and over the top. It's characters are very... 'realistic'. I don't mean real, just that they're meant to feel more mature by being more in control. They don't let them interrupt each other for a joke, they don't let a character be potentially OOC for a one off gag like Hop Pop screaming "EAT THE RICH!" or Sprig asking "Have you ever killed a a man, Hop Pop," and I can only think of one time Luz got mad for the sake of a joke and honestly, yelling about the Rusty Smidge barely comes across as a joke because of how genuine the anger feels after a point. Otherwise, stuff that would normally get exaggerated frustration or the like to at least let you laugh at the reaction just... doesn't get one, like how Luz yells about Luzura being killed off but then... Just walks off and is passive aggressive mostly instead of even exasperated. For a drama or romance, this is not a bad approach but for even just an adventure kid's show... It's not great to put it mildly because people meet odd situations with weird levels of nonchalance. Not quite irony poisoned levels but getting there.

It's why TOH is mostly remembered for the romance and drama episodes. Not only do they allow some of the romance scenes to actually include melodrama, they also just fit how the characters act better. It's why Amity has some of the biggest emotions of the series and why Lumity have such great lines between each other because they're actually willing to lean into the sort of genre fiction that they're doing. This is also why S2 works better than S1 because a lot of the pretense of being a comedy adventure gets dropped but like... There's still plenty of boring in S2 with stuff like how Elsewhere Elsewhen takes time travel and includes a couple jokes at the beginning and then is just... horribly bland and barely qualifies as an adventure.

This lack of allowing people to be emotional and jokey also leads to the reliance on comic relief characters. People like Gus, King or Hooty, or S2 Lilith, who the characters can mock in someway, including the writers. Characters who can be the punchline even if it means a lot of people come off a lot meaner than they should, i.e. Luz absolutely rejecting Hooty for the vast majority of the series despite supposedly liking the weird and rejected. That also means that most of the time they're not on screen, either the scene starts getting pretty dry or you have a character suddenly warp to be comic relief, like how Eda gets in some S2 episodes like Elsewhere Elsewhen or Eclipse Lake where suddenly she's MUCH more of a joke than she normally is and also REALLY bad at it too and seeming potentially brain dead for it. Thanks to Them even does this to Amity even though she is probably the last person in the cast to make sense as a sudden clutz.

All of this stuff makes it so that if you go in wanting a kid's show, a fantasy show, ANYTHING that is pitched in the first episode... S1 is going to be just okay to you. I enjoyed it... But I also fell off when I first watched it. I thought the characters were good but none of it stuck with me as actually memorable and I watched until I think Adventure in the Elements. I never was never compelled to come back until Lumity animations (literally THE Little Miss Perfect animatic that is nowadays probably hard to find actually) made me go "I remember this show being neat." And Lumity was what kept me, not because I was generally laughing or calling these episodes something special. In fact, that sense of unsatisfaction is probably why I watched through it faster than Amphibia. No one episode of TOH is really great to watch on its own because... It's just kind of boring, or like half of it is boring because the B plots across the board are SO BLAND. S1 or 2 for that matter since Lumity starts getting boring B plots like with the archives or finding out the author of Azura. Both concepts btw that could have been really interesting setups and instead... If you're not into blushing Amity, get FUUUUUCKED.

That's without getting into REPETITION. Repetition kills comedy so King having one joke for S1 and also taking up like half of the B plots for the first ten episodes means you are going to be in agony eventually anytime someone talks to him because you know where it's going and you have DEFINITELY heard this joke before. And you know, he also gets three repetitive B plots which just hurts the joke even more, even as they try to make twists on it, and hurts the feeling that the show is doing... Anything..

It's just not good. Which is probably why once the characters and the 'subversive/unique' elements of the show both weakened, more and more people left because... Why would you keep watching this then? Those elements are what made up for boring plots with boring execution in a world that didn't allow for more interesting storytelling because it had few ideas and expanded on NONE OF THEM. So of course people pitch it using the elements that say "this isn't like other kids shows/fantasy shows" because if you pitch it to people who like those... They'll just be disappointed eventually and bored quickly. Like i think a lot of people did to be quite honest.

And a lack of creativity, and a lack of genre understanding, isn't something time could have ever fixed.

======+++++======

The short version of proving this point btw is going "Compare Bumi's introductory episode, which is a character giving three trials to prove another's worth, versus when the Bat Queen challenges Luz. One is exceptionally funny, interesting and has genuinely interesting twists while the other is... There. So very there. Painfully just... there. Not even bad, just... There.

Also, yes, comedy is extremely subjective which is why I tried to talk more about how a lot of these premises are boring because that can be a bit more objective.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past.

I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead.

If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#the owl house criticism #toh critical #toh #the owl house

[chaifootsteps]

I have so many conflicting ideas about Hazbin/Helluva, where I can't ever join the hate watching crowd because I still, to an extent, enjoy the show if only for its potential. The most recent music video kind of cemented this for me, because... I really liked it. I don't want to feel bad for liking it, because that's silly and separating art from the artist is indeed a thing, but knowing what goes on behind the scenes... it's a bit tricky to reconcile with.

Stolas' songs (You'll be Okay, Owl in a Cage, Look my Way - even though that last one wasn't written by Sam Haft) have always been my favourites, and if I'm being frank, the only ones I've liked. I really like his character design too. Even now I'm uncertain about admitting that because so many people who send in asks to you rag on about how ugly Viv's character designs are, and while I do think they're confusing and impractical I have never considered them "ugly". Maybe I'm writing this so if anyone else feels this way they don't feel so alone? Not being a part of any sort of crowd is a bit of a terrifying place, even if it is ultimately a good thing.

I have ideas for possible Helluva and Hazbin fanworks but I'm scared to do anything about them because, with the creepy adolesent mob mentality the fandom seems to have, I'm afraid I would look as though I'm promoting the show, when I really just got inspired by, again, the potential. I don't want to write out a whole long explanation (that no-one will read) detailing my thoughts on the series and Viv because I might get taken the wrong way, and saying zilch and staying silent seems like the best option and yet also just as poor of a choice.

On a final note, and this is just whishful thinking of a better universe, but I think Hazbin and Helluva would have been a lot more successful and potentially less controversial if it had done the same thing as Daria Cohen, where each "episode" was a music video (because I honestly got more whole enjoyment out of the Look My Way animation than I have out of like, the whole of Season 2), and the whole entire thing could have been told through song (allowing for the more abstract imagery that Viv seems to have a better grasp of while also keeping the projects possibly more manageable). Obviously this would demote it purely to a passion project because she wouldn't be making nearly as much money off of it... which, when you think about it, is probably a good thing anyway.

Sorry for the length!

You don't have to apologize for a thing, Anon! As long as you're not giving her money or making weird excuses for Vivzie herself or named DaniDraws, there's no wrong way to love HH/HB. It's why for every ask I get trashing the designs, two more want to hug these characters close and steal them. We've got people here who hate it all and think it's always been a port-o-toilet fire full of ugly characters, but plenty who genuinely love it -- and I think as more of the fandom sadly hang their heads and come over to the critical side, that number's only going to increase.

Seconding the Daria Cohen bit. I don't know that it would have saved the show in the long run from its biggest problem, which is Viv's cruelty and ego, but a more Vampair or Mystery Skulls Animated-esque setup where each episode is a music video would have played to Viv's strengths and masked her weaknesses.

#Anonymous #vivziepop critical #helluva boss #helluva boss critical #actual blog post

[7k9sinthee]

I have no clue what I'm doing

I've been thinking about a Mafuyu-Like mc (in twst) for a while.. but I've found nothing😭(Mafuyu as from pjsk)

So I want to write it myself but I suck at writing.. here is a:

Mafuyu Asahina!Reader x housewardens+Jamil(twst!)

Also if theses r ooc, I honest don't rlly care. :3

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS🌹

-Riddle, he's gone through a rough and rocky relationship with his mother.. he understands.

-He's extremely patient, although unable to help you himself; Riddle doesn't know how to help with getting to understand mothers.

-If he notices how close you and the Adeuce duo close are, he rarely separates you. Being locked away from the one thing that could help aid you in finding your true self is NOT something he wants to do, he knows how it feels to be locked behind closed doors and being restricted..

-Aids you if your mother ends up kicking you out to the streets. Riddle will become a mother bird if he requires to do so. Just for you

-Hates whenever your mother guilt-trips you, the once you had the confidence to speak up; you were shunned and shut down. "I did it for you!", in which she tore away everything that kept you connected.. everything that could have found the true you. Riddle buys you the items and keeps it at his dorm incase that *creature* tried to destroy it again.

-He is extremely pleased whenever he notices you taking care of yourself again, you've finally began rebuilding yourself. Which means he's done a good job.

-Pleass give him a pat on the back and thank him when you can! He likes it :D

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR 🦁

-Doesn't actually understand how you feel, due to how shut you were. But eventually catches on.

-Whenever he catches glimpses of your miserable state with your mother gleaming so brightly.. it seriously upsets him. 'How could someone possibly do that..?"

-He will take in your emotions a lot more, and even a bit more considerate. Though, don't ask for a lot. He does have his boundaries as well!

-He knows how it feels to be the second option, yet; he was an option.. you weren't allowed choices and options in life. So, whenever he takes you out: he's allowing you to order ANYTHING you want, sit ANYWHERE you want. Its your choice now, he can sit back and chose second if if meant recovery may happen.

-Also takes notes of your mother's manipulative behavior, in order to keep you from being guilt-tripped, he practically drags you away for long enough. Leonas willing to share dorms, homes, beds, etc. If your mother didn't want you anymore.

-Leona doesn't exactly understand how connecting to others can help you find help, but buys you anything you need.

-Another one who's pleased when you're beginning to make a recovery, subtly treats you with a "small" dinner. Eating well is also a part of recovering after all!

AZUL ASHENGROTTO 🐙(I think😭)

-Notices immediately, he knows how to get his way with people. Not that he would use it on you, but he notices how your mother constantly played the "I did it for your sake! This is your mother's happiness" with the pathetic crocodile tears..

-HATES how she does it, especially to someone so close to him? Azul has the twins aid you whenever you need, though through your mother's harsh treatment you were practically first place for everything..

-Doesn't blame/shame you for anything you do wrong, only guides you on how to do it. He knows how it feels to be shunned from society for being "different", he doesn't want anyone to feel that way as well..

-Willing to give you a higher pay (without anyone noticing) to afford items you wanted but were destroyed by your mother.

-His mother is especially good with little children (idk if it's canon but it is now💜) so Azul runs to her for questions such as "How do I aid them?", "What should I do?", etc.

-Allows you to run to his VIP lounge whenever you need, because he also runs and hides. He understands the need to hide.

KALIM ☀️(Oh fuck what's his last name)

-Oblivious to how your mother treats you, but realizes soon enough. (Jamil told him) The way your mother constantly guilt-tripped you was definitely not pleasing in his eyes.

-He constantly pulls you away to parties and pretty much locks your phone away so you can enjoy yourself for once.

-Jamil takes pity upon you, so if Kalim orders anything for you; Jamil makes it as well as possible.

-Carpet rides in the night when your mother is asleep? Heck yeah!

-Gets your mind off of the negative things, he doesn't want anyone close to disappear. He'd end up blaming himself, Kalim doesn't blame you for your want to disappear but doesn't want you to.

-Another buyer of your missing items, make sure to tell him not to go overboard. Happy to see you getting happy! Let's you stay at Scarabia for as long as you need.

-He knows a fake smile when he sees one, it does give him a bit of a scare whenever you try to smile but it doesn't make him any less determined to make you truly smile! (Doesn't take long)

JAMIL VIPER 🐍

-Notices pretty quickly, like Azul, he doesn't appreciate the way your mother just uses you so easily.

-He was forced to stay medium-low for Kalims sake, but being forced to be the best and not being able to care properly? Not his thing.

-Takes care of you if you can't bring yourself out of bed, but is extremely patient with you along the way. You aren't as bad as Kalim.. (his words, not mine)

-Always willing to open up his arms for just you!

-Whenever you thank him for helping you recover quite a bit, he's ecstatic. He's used to hearing everyone thank him but the way you thanked him, it got him all giddy inside.

-VIL 🛐 (Oh fuck another lastname)

-Also another one to catch on quickly. He quickly snatches you away from your mother. Vil constantly does your makeup, skincare, meals, etc. But he isn't rough with you like how he is with Epel, he's gentle and takes his time. He wants you to enjoy this as much as possible and forget about how cruel that *being* was.

-Could he even call her your mother? Nope. Whenever he comes to pick you up he greeted her with "Hello, I'm here to pick up your child, (Name). It's an emergency so please retrieve them quickly." CONSTANTLY fights the urge to taught her. So he just mutters under his breath.

-Allows you to stay at his dorm if you need to, but sharing rooms is a no go. He'll keep your room close to his but that's all.

-VIl does NOT allow her to be close to you whenever he's with you. Oh she's just around the corner? Looks like I forgot something back at the previous store, let's go back!

-When he notices how close you were with the rest of the first years, he let's you AND Epel free for an amount of time. You were practically ripped away from communication with your friends when your mother still had reign over you, and being like *that* thing is NOT what he wants to be, he's played enough villian roles.

-Probably destroys her status online.

IDIA SHROUD 💀

-Invites you HIMSELF a lot more often once he notices, he informs Ortho in the most sugar-coated way possible so he'd have his side-kick brother aiding him when he was too nervous.

-Let's you play whatever you want, though he notices how you struggle to pick when presented so many new options that could lead to something new. So he starts off with picking between 2-3 games.

-Ortho recommends things to you if you still struggle! Ortho also is displeased with how low your mental health is, as he's scanned. (Don't worry, he doesn't blame you)

-Both are patient with you and always willing to lend a hand. When your mother destroyed your communication, Idia offered up some "spare" items he had (he literally bought phones, laptops, etc. Last second for you😭).

-Idia understands how it feels to lose someone close, being isolated away from them with not knowing their status is scary.

-He sometimes reaches out to his parents and even the school staff for help.

MALLEUS DRACONIA

-He doesn't exactly notice it as "bad", he believes it's just some human nature of sorts. But takes strong notice of it. And whenever your mental health is in decline, evidence piles up; he's taking you to Disomnia immediately and having sweets with you. Malleus even offers up some of his icecream.

-Sebek isn't exactly proving of it, but who is he to deny his prince? He aids you whenever you need help.

-Silver also acts as a guard for you, whatever is Malleus', is to be protected.

-Lilia is the first person Malleus runs to for help, often gaining guidance. Though most techniques are outdated..

-When your items were destroyed, you were so unsettling quiet so Malleus JUST had to get these back, not matter the cost. He wants to see you smile at the very least.

-Behind closed doors Malleus is picking you up and cradling you as gently as faely possible, I mean you're a fragile glass pearl to him! He's NOT allowing bullying, so he'll have one of his guards watch over you.

-Let's you stay at his dorm AND his room, if you aren't comfortable with sharing a bed? No problem! Whole new bed for you, he even gives you free reign on decoration in the room.

-Also enjoys watching the fish in the aquarium with you when cuddling/being close.

EXTRAS!!!! (Staff+Grim) NO shipping here tho, all parental figures(little brother for Grims part) :D

CROWLEY 🪶

-HIS student, HIS child being absolutely controlled by such a monster? FUCK no!

-He's immediately taking you back, he allows you to live with him. Gives you your own room!

-Gentle parenting, but he acts a bit goofy sometimes.. he's a mix between father crow and fun uncle crow!

-Allows you to take Grim with you, though Grim as to pay for himself (💔)

-Whenever your mother beckons you back, he's with you and NOT allowing her to manipulate you again, Crowley is not allowing her to ever get her way with you ever again. "Oh I did it for you!" Shut your b-(long string of beeping)

CREWEL 🐩

-Papa immediately realizes, snatches you in an instant. Now you share homes with him! He even buys an aesthetically pleasing aquarium for you, enjoys watching you just watch the little fishes run back and to your fingers. It's like watching a pup trying to figure out how things work😭

-Treats you to random things, you didn't do all too well on a test but did pretty good? Great job! His one goal is to help you figure out that being the best isn't always the only option in life.

-Even though he despises(he secretly favorites them) the Adeuce duo along with the other first years, he'll allow you to hang out with them.

-Listens to the music you produce and praises you well, but that doesn't mean he won't critique it a bit. (Don't worry, he's not too mean with it)

-Also keeps you away from your mother, but gives you free reign to communicating to her if you ever wanted to. Crewel is fully supportive alone the entire way.

VARGAS 💪

-Doesn't really notice but takes in count how down you look, he's going a bit easier on you due to this.

-Has a discussion with the rest if the staff about the behavior, if he realizes that the reason was you mother; your mother is in for one hell of a talking.

-He even offers to adopt you instead of keeping you in a hell hole.

I can't remember his name (the history old dude with the cat😭) 🐈‍⬛️

-He has two children of his own(I think) and already treats you like one of his in school, plays favorites but VERY, VERY subtly.

-Realizes why you've been so down fairly easily, allows you to stay after classes to do your homework! Whenever you stay for too long and end up falling asleep, the cat(Luca or something) falls asleep on you, purring loud enough for you. Grim does get jealous, but Luca gives up his seat for Grim eventually.

-He knows how close you and Grim are, along with the first years, so he'll NEVER separate you two. Oh homework? He'll consider it one since you both count as one whole student!

-Never rushes your work, what good is rushed work after all? Gives you extra time whenever you accident forgot. Your healing from trauma, so pressuring you into work is just rubbing salt into the wound.

-Allows you to stay at his home whenever you need a place to sleep. His daughters actually really enjoy you as company and consider you a part of the family already!

SAM 👥

-His shadow constantly hovers over you like a hawk whenever you enter the shop.

-Sams a fun uncle dude, so when he saw you slouching and pretty upset, he just has to know what happened!

-His little imp in danger? No problem! He's right beside you, he can have some first year cover for him. He's constantly supporting you along your way of healing.

-If you need help with making decisions, this is your guy! He knows the ups and downs of everything, he even knows a few tricks to get the price just right.

-His shadow really, really disproves of your mother and scares her whenever she tries to buy something from Sam's shop.

-Whenever you take over his shift, which rarely happens but does, he let's you take a little reward for yourself when you're done! A little treat for being such a good kid.

GRIM 🐈‍⬛️💙

-He knows IMMEDIATELY. Before it even happens. Grim knows you like the back of his hand, he won't admit it but he's always considered himself the "Great *Big* Brother Grim!"

-Although he wants to be the older sibling, he just wants to be the one cradled. He often curls up to you and purrs, the way just smile (no matter how small) makes him happy.

-You're the best sibling he could ever ask for, you're always treating him and making sure he's safe. So how it's his turn!

-Does ask everyone who overblotted to help! You helped them so now it's their turn. He's happy whenever he sees you eating well, staying hydrated, sleeping well, and balancing work. But if you still struggle a bit, he's making sure you follow schedule! Since Grim is pretty cat-like, he's got a schedule screwed into his head.

-Constantly check-ups are a need! He doesn't want to lose someone close to him, he lost his family once; he's not going to let this one slip past his fingers.

#twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst #twst headcanons #twst x reader #twst wonderland #twst azul #twst malleus #twst riddle #twst leona #leona kingscholar #riddle rosehearts #azul ashengrotto #twst kalim #twst jamil #twst vil #vil schoenheit #vil shoenheit x reader #riddle x y/n #riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle rosehearts x yuu #kalim al asim #kalim x reader #kalim al asim x reader #kalim al asim x yuu #disney twisted wonderland #jamil viper #jamil x mc #jamil x yuu #jamil x you

[if-confessions]

Author here: my confession is i'm lying. My demoless intro blew up and i kinda can't be asked to write it anymore. I keep posting screenshots of snippets but i'm never gonna release anything. I feel bad cause there are so many asks but i seriously don't have an ounce of care. I love my cast and my story but it’s so hard to write. I've seen a lot of accounts with a lot of hype and asks but no demos so i don't feel terrible and we authors don't owe anyone content anyway. I know it's bad but i love getting sent questions and notes cause people are so interested and it's so fun to post new ideas. Once my hype dies i'll probably just create a new one cause i'm already writing a synopsis for this new story and it's so good.

Hi Anon,

I'm going to get real with you, buddy. I had to write this message multiple times because I ended up being a bit too... angry. And as much as I absolutely don't vibe with this whole position, it would still not be fair to you to get the end of my frustration with it.

So I am trying again, (more) calmly.

I honestly have been wondering if you are maybe lying to yourself when you said you can't be asked to continue your project. You seem to be very enthusiastic about the story and the characters (or you wouldn't be sharing snippets or answer asks about it. What jumped at me was: my demoless intro blew up.

I've answered a lot of asks in the past about creators worried about not being enough because their project didn't get enough attention, but very little when it came to the ones blowing up overnight. But just because your intro blows up, doesn't mean you don't struggle with all of this.

So I have a few questions for you:

Are you having this blasé attitude about your project and giving up because of the heightened expectations of having blown up?

Then you might find getting a break from interaction/the social aspect to help. Or maybe interacting with other creators outside of Tumblr and discuss experiences and what to do when the motivation is gone or it becomes to overwhelming (hint: it's often a break).

Another option is to set expectations about the project. And I mean yours. Creating a grandiose story spanning books and dozens of chapters each and a cast as long as your arm can be incredibly fun, but it might not feasible, and often becomes overwhelming. Maybe take a look at your story and chop it down to manageable bites or remove parts that don't fit.

Do you worry if you actually post it, people will not vibe with it?

In this case, consider alpha/beta testing, where you share more about the story to a select few and request feedback. Joining a writer's group or a smaller IF server to discuss or brainstorm or get feedback on ideas is also a nice way of getting confidence about what you are doing. Some community have even some sort of writer's circle, where multiple people get together and write for an hour or two.

Are you afraid you will be found out as not being a good creator (a.k.a. the imposter syndrome)?

We all start somewhere, and that somewhere is very often bad. Don't sweat it. The good news tho, is that it can't get worse. The more you write, the better you get. (but you have to write first)

Do you want a point of reference? Try reading the first version of my first game. It is cringy as hell, there are a lot of grammar and syntax mistakes... I hate it so much, so I made it public to everyone. Go roast me about it, then go read the much better version (or the other way around.

Do you feel like you are lacking confidence in your ability to finish the project because your experience with the medium is minimal, making it overwhelming?

Pause the project for a bit, and write a tiny game (not more then 1k). Join game jams to test some stuff out. Mess around with the program and see what can be done.

Did your struggle with writing come from realising the amount of work required to make it happen?

Time to break it down in smaller pieces, until it feels doable. Then take one piece at a time. And there is no timeline you need to keep...

Do you feel like you can't do this by yourself and would feel more confident continuing the project if you had more direct support?

Try to reach out to other people and see if someone would be interested in helping you make this project a reality. I've seen many projects being done in duo or trio (Harcourt, Lady Thalia...). It will be a different dynamic, but can be very fulfilling.

Are the characteristics of the IF medium something you can't see working? Does the story not work when variation is added? Is there only one path that works for you?

Maybe, IF is not the medium for this project (or for you). That is also fine!

Not everything will work with IF (hell, even inside the IF sphere, some stories fits better the parser-type or the choice-based one, or the hyperlinks one). Maybe the project should become a novel, or a poem collection, or be turned into a comic/webtoon.

~~~

Before you go on to make another intro post with your new idea on the hope that it will blow up so you can just talk about it and bounce when it becomes too difficult, maybe ask yourself:

why you entered this community in the first place,

why you wanted to try your hand at making IF too,

why this story stuck to you so much you wanted to share it with everyone,

what made the story fun in the first place,

what was the point where the fun in writing actually stopped,

whether you want to abandon a story you seem so passionate about...

Interactive Fiction is an awesome medium, and it's a shame to take it for granted...

Or you can go ahead and post that new idea of yours, continuing to blatantly lie to people to get attention rather than enjoying the medium and the craft for what they are, and toy with people essentially...

I might have been reaching there about the lying to yourself, or the fact that blowing up affected your love for creation more than what you message conveyed...

... and you might actually not give a shit at all about doing anything but throwing ideas at the wall, ignoring the rich and incredible history of Interactive Fiction and its captivating evolution (still happening today), neglecting the vibrant community just to con people for notes and attention that are insignificant in real life, lying to everyone just for the lolz...

You do you boo...

~~~~~~~~

Little reminder for people reading this: Don't send hate to people posting an intro post without a demo assuming they are like this anon. It would really suck if we end up gatekeeping a fun hobby because of one bad apple.

[old comments in tags: I'm sorry but I really don't like liars that do it for the lolz it's not cute gosh i tried to tone done the judgement on this really hard I honestly hope anon is just overwhelmed because they got more attention than they thought they would in the first place /]

#confession time #if-confessions #demo or no demo #dark side of if

[saruin]

Just wanted to be transparent.

I've had a major situation change and am in need of some extra income. No I will not be doing early access, or begging anyone here on tumblr for money. All of my content will continue to remain free on patreon/sfs/mega including anything I create there in the future. But I have decided to crawl back to TSR; while I hate the site for moral reasons I do desperately need the extra income. Think of me what you will but I wanted to let everyone know just in case.

Also since I 'deleted' my old page (tho you can still find saruin on tsr and all my content is still there) I'm going to have to go by a new name. TSR is more 'family friendly' (aka restrictive) so that's the type of content you can expect from whatever name I choose to go by.

I hate this but it's only temporary until I can find a stable job within a decent area of my home. A lot has happened within the past few weeks and I've been considering this for months but I think it's the best option for me for now.

Feel free to ask questions, show support, call me out or call me a hypocrite, I don't mind.

P.S. My new set will be uploaded hopefully by the end of the week, I was going to do the previews today but I was completely blindsided by personal stuff so I can't really do much without having another panic attack.

um I'm probably gonna log off for today. Love you guys <3

#saruin rambles

[bootlegfrank]

This a remake of something I posted on my old blog. On July 8th 2023 Bob tweeted;

Since the original image attached is quite long and pixelated, I transcribed it- exactly as he wrote it. He says that he regrets things he's said in the past, talks about where he is at now, and sends a message out to past friends. You can find the full message text underneath the cut. Warning for talk about suicide and internet hate.

[Tweet] bob bryar @/bobbryar: i really shouldn't post this but, as you know, i make some bad decisions. i think if you click it you should be able to read the whole thing. sorry it's kind of long. ❤️-bc

[Image] hi friends,

i'm going to go out on a super long limb and be the most honest i've ever been in my life. probably too honest. i was going to write something like this only to my close friends but i just decided fuck it, i'll write to everyone, whoever wants to read it can read it. i have nothing to hide. nothing to lose.

nobody knows i'm doing this and it's all me by myself. it will probably be a jumbled mess because i'm obviously feeling like shit, but i hope it will make sense. i have nothing that i'm trying to promote. i have nothing that i'm trying to sell, i'm just trying to get better, clear some things up, and keep going. i'm an extremely private person now so it makes no sense at all for me to do this, and it's way out of my comfort zone, but i'm tired of people dying. i will probably regret this but...... fuck it, way too many friends are now gone and i'm exhausted so here we go.

i've spent years hiding from everyone because i receive so much hate that i don't know how to deal with, and i know i probably deserve it. somehow, no matter how much i hide, i still get messages, phone calls, texts, and even letters in my mailbox. a lot of them are very nice and they make me smile, but most are pretty much telling me to die. some literally just say "DIE" and that's it. LOL. i really don't understand why anyone even cares or takes the time to find me but here we are.

i am way too old for this shit so i've put on a tough guy stone face and pretended like nothing ever bothered me. but when i'm alone i just sit and stare at the wall and think about how things went so wrong. how i had so many friends and now have so few, and now i lost the life that i really enjoyed and worked so hard for. honestly, i've become a pretty lonely and unhappy dude.

i feel very lucky and fortunate so i've worked extra hard to help people and animals that needed a hand without ever bragging or asking for anything in return. even after trying so hard to be the best person that i could possibly be i still feel like an extremely hated dude and i'm not really sure why. when i moved into my hole in the woods most people just forgot about me and didn't care, or never cared anyways, but the people that still come after me are too much to handle.

a while ago i made the decision to give away everything that i owned, give away all of my money, spend some time with the few friends that i had left, wipe my phone, stop talking or replying to everyone so they wouldn't care, and then end it. peace out. i even had the note, the rope (ratchet strap for moving the motorcycles) and location (my garage) ready to go. i felt like that was the only option for me. i felt like i had lived my life and it was time for me to go. i had lost my girl of 13 years that i really needed and relied on, lost all of my pets that were like my kids, had multiple friends die or just disappear, and lost every part of the music industry that i grew up in and lived 24/7. it seemed like everyone in that world magically disappeared when i wasn't getting them gigs, making them money, or getting them into events for free anymore. i had my wrist surgically rebuilt twice to be able to play instruments again but by the time my hand worked i was too old to start over, everything was gone, luckily for me, at the last moment i realized that wasn't the solution. i realized that i couldn't put my mom, my dogs, and the few friends i had left through something like that. i don't think anyone else would have cared to be honest.

i was in a really bad spot but i really didn't, and don't want to die. i was just an angry and lost dude. i lost all trust in people. i still only trust a couple people now and i'll probably be this way for the rest of my life. i also had no idea that i came off as such a jerk all the time. i never meant to. i only just realized it recently when i hit bottom and people got real with me. i really had no idea. other than my fake tough guy attitude i always thought i was a really good person that did good things for the world.

in the past i've made some dumb comments that were either admittedly wrong or were very misinterpreted. i've learned a lot since then and i'm sorry. i really am sorry. maybe i can have the opportunity to address those comments, or anything else, to clear the air and maybe feel happy again. maybe we can be friends again. maybe we can even help someone else that is feeling shitty or alone at the same time.

i'm now mentally healthy (still physically a potato), humbled, and ready to move forward. i want to reconnect with friends, catch up with the rest of the world that i avoided for so long, and remember the experiences (good and bad) that i've blocked out. it's super weird for me at this point but i want to talk more. maybe something on an app. i don't know what everyone uses now. remember, it's been a while and i'm an old man now. i've never gone on a live camera app to talk so i'm not sure which one is the best or how to use any of them. i messed around with instagram the other day when i was trying to play a game and i think i got it figured out for the most part. i dont especially want to be seen because i'm a fat old man now, and i hate being on camera, but i think it's the best way to be real. i have the username "bobbryar" on every app that i'm aware of except instagram. the instagram username is "bcbryar" because someone took my name for some reason. btw, i'd like to have that back if anyone knows how.

i'm probably opening the door for a refueled barrage of embarrassment, but this is my last try to make things fun and live a happy life again. so fuck it again. if this turns out horribly i will just go back to my hole and not try again. i promise.

i know most of you are thinking 'waaah, fuck you, i don't care, nobody likes you anymore, you're old, just go away, etc'. i've heard it all and i understand. but for the people who want to talk, let's do it and hopefully be friends again. i've been thinking about this for a while now.

maybe this is dumb. probably. i don't know. but if you are down i will hang out as long as you want. if it goes well maybe we can talk more often. maybe it might be fun. it's definitely time to have some motherfucking fun again.

i already know that i'm going to get super extra roasted for writing this but oh well. don't care.

anyways... let me know if you are down. i'd really like to have my friends back in my life again. i really miss my friends a lot.

i'm heading back over to the DCI competition now and i'm late. i miss that a lot too. maybe i'll see you there, come hang out and have some fun.

i hope to talk very soon.

❤️ -bc.

[Reply to the tweet] bob bryar @/bobbryar: you can save it as a picture and then see the whole thing. thanks for the help jordan. 🙂

#i watched one of his live streams on instagram- he played fortnite with pink floyd's the dark side of the moon playing in the background #idk ive been wanting to have this on my blog again for a while and since im in my bob feelings here we go #im not commenting on the value of his words here in this post. just sharing it #bob bryar #mcr #twitter

[anna1306]

Hi, could you please do something with poly!lost boys and an s/o who has depression? I've been feeling down lately and I need my vamp boys to cheer me up :(

Hey, anon! I know it's been a while but I hope you feel better! And if this can cheer you up even a little bit - I am happy c:

Take care of yourself, be safe and remember to take some rest

Poly!Lost Boys x Depressed!Reader

This can go two different ways.

The first one is - you are just feeling down. In that case expect a lot of attention. Dates, movies, snacks, jokes, games... Sex. Anything to get your mood up.

David would talk to you about anything. Shittalk about your friends or surf nazis from the Boardwalk, discussion about your work or study, just anything. He could and would hypnotize anyone to get into your favourite cafe or to watch any movie you want to. If you just want to get your mind off of something - he would distract you with many stories about guys, himself and their past. And if you just want to cuddle - he would lay down with you in his nest for however long you want to.

Dwayne is all about listening to you. He is the perfect one when it comes to advices or just accepting information. Have no one to rant your frustrations to? He is here, crawling into your window with snacks for you to eat, while you tell him about your day. Need advice on something? He let you sit near him on the Boardwalk and listens carefully to help you with questions in hand. Crying from exhaustion? He is already making you bath with your favourite scented candles and bath bombs and making your favourite dish. He is all for comforting you.

Paul is on duty! Music? Dances? Cuddles? Make-out sessions for half an hour without stop? He is on it. He tries anything to distract you from your sadness. The second you walk into the cave, his attention is on you. His hands are on you, he had already turned the music on and swirling you to dance with him. If you want to, he can share some weed with you, but even without it he is pretty distracting on his own. Never letting you go, never letting you stay sad. If you want to - he would beat himself - he hates your frown a lot and he loves your smile too much to just let you be sad.

Marko has only one question. Is anyone behind your bad mood? If there is some little shit who is responsible for your gloomy attitude - he is dead meat. Marko isn't joking around and he is ready to kill whoever. Other than that he is dragging you to some arcades or rides - if you are high on adrenaline, it is hard to be sad. He is taking you to fly across the town, drive fast, dare you to swim you to the limit of your abilities. And on the contrary if you are more on a calm wave - he takes you to his pigeons, he draws with you, he makes whatever you want to in a calm speed.

Similar, but not the same thing if you really in depression.

Depression is worse because it requires not just temporary mood lifting, but serious help and support. And sometimes they can't help you by themselves.

David is great in reminding you to take care of yourself. Even if you don't notice it, he is taking care of you. Offering you a glass of water or ordering another portion of fries for you. Cuddling with you to make you rest. Or offer to swim with you to help you wash you hair and body. Massage to relax you. Or ordering boys to clean your room. You can ask him of anything. And if you are too shy to ask - he just reads your wishes, even if superficially - it helps him to understand you and your thoughts better.

Dwayne reminds you of medicine. He is very attentive to you and unlike other boys, he knows that medicine and doctors - aren't to play with. He knows and understands that human body is so much more fragile than vampire's, including mental state. So he knows that even if they support you fully in any question - you may need professional help. He watches your state almost discreetly, but still he notices when you are in another episode of depression and irrational sadness or apathy. He offers you some of the options of doctors and helps you choose the better one of them.

Paul, if I were to be honest, probably feels a bit helpless. He want to help too - he just doesn't know how. Dwayne tells him that you need a doctor, David helps you by taking care of you, Marko talks with you and he just doesn't understand. Paul doesn't understand that his usual ways of raising your mood won't work, and he tries and tries again and again. In the end he just comes to you and hug you and... That works. You feel more rested, when you are cuddling with him and even smile at him (and he knows it's not acting). So he lets you hug him and cry out into him all of your worries if you have any. He is the best cuddle buddy.

Marko is more or less on the sidelines. He talks to you, he watches you, but he is very accurate near you. He knows he can be rather emotional or rude or angry, so he tries to control this too. He doesn't know a lot about your condition, only what Dwayne tells him about, but what he knows - is enough for him. He knows what it's like to have so much thoughts and emotions inside that it hurts. But if he can let it go on hunts - you can't. So he speak with you, when he notices your eyes or smell changes. You don't know how, but he just sense it before you even think about anything painful. He doesn't let you hurt yourself. Even if you need to hurt him instead - he would heal. You wouldn't.

All in all, no matter if it's just bad day and bad mood or something more serious - they are your support group. They can look like pretty laid back people (vampires) that don't like excessive troubles, and it is true. But you are theirs. They chose you to be with them. You are part of their coven. And they look out for each other, going out of their way to do so. They want you to feel better, to be with them forever and to know that you are not alone.

The Lost Boys Taglist: @minafromasgard @starmullet @iloveslasher @twistedharper @ichorixm @promptsforstuff @collieflower215 @henhouse-horrors @smenny @id-rather-be-in-middle-earth @lazuli-leenabride @panickinanakin1

#tlb #thelostboys #thelostboys1987 #tlb1987 #david tlb #marko tlb #paul tlb #tlb dwayne #poly lost boys #poly lost boys x reader #lost boys x reader #the lost boys imagine #tlb imagine #reader insert #x reader #gender neutral

[thefoxtrot008]

The Readers Blog

Here is part 4 of the dialogue prompts! Just had a bit of inspiration for a new story, so there are a LOT OF THEM. Enjoy! :)

"So, who do we have then, if they're dead?"

"I've heard that expression before."

"Is that a threat?"

"These concerned parties need to have themselves heard otherwise I can't give you clearance."

"How uncomfortable are we talking?"

"He's a nice kid, love. Not too bright though."

"It was easy. Almost too easy."

"I'm a very busy woman. Okay? Next time, make an appointment."

"Get straight to the point detective."

"This is quite an establishment that you've got going here."

"Well, we both know that's bullshit."

"Give me one good reason as to why I should do that."

"You should let them go because it's the right thing to do, but I doubt that means anything to you."

"And that's how you did it."

"You come into my facility, you lie to me, you make threats and you low ball me? Please, I've got better things to do than to waste my time with you. Get out. Get out now!"

"You don't get it do you?"

"How could we have messed this up this badly?"

"Do I look like a person that would do that sort of thing?"

"We got away with it!"

"They don't have any evidence? No fingerprints? Nothing?"

"We don't even know why they were attacked."

"And no one is asking that question!"

"I mean, I'm being framed here, but it's not like anyone cares."

"And yet, I'm not allowed to see my client."

"This is a wrong accusation."

"You have a witness?" "I do."

"Did you see that video?"

"And there's always that one family member that shows up late for everything."

"Not to worry. I have a backup plan."

"I'm going to keep asking, until you give me a good answer."

"It's because it seems like this whole universe is against me!"

"You ain't even from here are you?" "All you've done is lie to these good people."

"You can't tell me who I can and can't sleep with. You are not my mother!" "I might as well be."

"We're not taking any visitors at the moment."

"Let me see what I can do. The full works. Make some phone calls, talk to people. You know, stuff that you don't do."

"I saved your skin here, let's not forget."

"You know, maybe we should run. Pack up our things and go."

"It's not against you or anything."

"It was too late. They had gotten to me first after you left."

"Now, they're after me. Not you darling."

"I'll go!" (everyone: "NO!")

"Oh, I'm not ignoring what happened between us earlier. I'm using it to my advantage here."

"You do understand that if they catch you, they will kill you."

"I'll be down the hall if you need anything."

"You won't do any of that."

"Go after her. GO!"

"I hate seeing you like this... so, we're going to do you a solid mate."

"Those traitors! I'll get you back for this!"

"You still remember how I take my tea?" "Of course, I do. It's you."

"Why'd you disappear on me, all of those years ago?" "It's not that simple. If it's any consolation, it didn't have anything to do with you." "That makes me feel loads better. But it's still not an explanation!"

"This calls for a celebration!"

"It'll be an in and out job, love. I'll be back before you know it."

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe she doesn't want to be found?"

"It's none of your business!"

"Oh shit, I grabbed the wrong one." "It better be a damn good funeral."

"I am... a freaking genius! LETS GO!!!"

"What kind of organization are you running here?!"

"I am asking you, because I know that you can handle it."

"I want to read the card."

"You didn't have to make a big deal out of it."

"Give me the keys, I'm leaving."

"You know what?! Maybe I should take the transfer!"

"Can I say something?!" "NO!!"

"Waste of time, huh? Guess who got these documents, from him? Oh, wait. It was me. All me! You're freaking welcome."

"Cancel everything! I have an important announcement to make!"

"I want to do it on my terms." "I was thinking about this earlier."

"We're considering all options." "Like what? Like handing over the kid?" "I told you. We're considering every avenue."

"This is where it all starts." "I haven't told them yet."

"We did give you a bit of a warning."

"You knew?! All of you knew? How come she didn't tell me about it?!"

"Because we'd knew you'd react like this, that's why!" "Fine then. Let's go the extra mile, shall we? I forbid you from seeing him!" "You can't do that!" "I believe I just did!"

"Don't you have anything to say about this?" "I think he's got a point."

"Oh, sure! Way to side with him."

"I should be able to make that decision, I'm older than you!" "Not by much though."

"I can have it reversed if I need to."

"And that's a major if okay? All of this isn't going to be enough. We need hard evidence! Not something that you stole!"

"Way to piss her off man."

"You really have to tell that story again?"

"That was so rude of me. I do apologize."

"She's listening to that song again! It's been nonstop for hours! Make it stop!" "Go talk to her!" "What do you expect me to say, huh?"

"I think you're making too much of this. You do have a tendency to overthink." "I do not. Okay, fine, maybe I do."

"Hopefully it gets a little bit better for you."

"I know. I'm just teasing." "Welcome to my world."

"Yea, but I didn't want to see that." "He didn't seem to have a problem with it."

____________________________________________________________

And... that's a wrap! :) For now at least!

#my writing #prompts #new ideas #dialogue prompts #murder mystery prompts #story telling

[matan4il]

It's been a month since the lives of every Jew around the world was changed and I know that I for one will never fully recover from this. I'm sending you and everyone I know in Israel so much love and support because I know that at least I can live relatively untouched by what's happening.

I desperately want to talk to my non-jewish friends about what's going on but I honestly still have no idea how to do so because the situation is so unbelievably horrific that without having actual family and friends involved (or living in Israel), I don't think it's possible for anyone to appreciate how fucking terrifying everything is.

The news broke today of an American Jew dying after being attacked at a pro-palestine rally and there has been zero coverage of this outside of Jewish circles. I still check behind me when I commute because I'm afraid someone is gonna push me under a train because I am Jewish.

I joked, in the dark way that a lot of us do, that would I have to die for the gentiles to take the Jews' fears seriously and now someone has, it's clear that is being murdered in broad daylight (and not ok Israel because apparently it's clear that being in Israel invalidates your right to life in a lot of people's eyes) isn't enough to even get people to listen to us.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

Hi, love! Sorry it took me a moment. I'm doing my best, but I hope you know that my heart is always with you!

I feel exactly the same. My life will never be the same. Everything feels different. And we will heal, but scars this deep, they don't disappear. They will always be there. We have been forever changed. And I think that's... I think that's a Jewish experience that many former generations had, and we fooled ourselves to think the generation of the Holocaust would be the last one to go through this.

IDK what advice to give you on talking to your non-Jewish friends. I can tell you I've had many who reached out to me, and it's been so heartwarming. I've had three that I reached out to, but pretty much because I saw them spreading hate filled posts, and I thought they could, and would want, to do better. That didn't really work out, but then I guess if they were extreme enough that I felt compelled to reach out to them, maybe this attempt never really stood a chance. All I know is that I do feel better for having tried. But if you have friends who are not that far gone, yet they haven't been talking to you about this, then maybe an option would be to tell them that you need to share your feelings and thoughts. People often shy away from politics, but if they're really your friends, then they would listen to you sharing these more personal aspects of what's been going on.

Yes, the news about Paul Kessler's homicide were horrifying. A 69 years old man shouldn't have to be scared to go out expressing what he thinks in a free, democratic society. Please, do be careful! What this world should be, it clearly isn't.

I'm gonna be honest, after everything our people had gone through, I'd rather Jews be alive and hated, than spoken of compassionately, but dead. If the world had shown full empathy for every single one of the massacre's victims, I would still give all of that empathy away to have our people back, alive and well, unharmed. What's insane is that even dead Jews no longer get any empathy, not in Israel, and not outside it, as you've pointed out. So many people who claim to be reblogging anti-Israel posts, because they value human life, have failed to reblog anything condemning the massacre, or the rise in antisemitism, or mourn Paul.

IDK what we can do other than be there for each other, and speak up as much as we can, and where and when it's safe for us. I am sending you so much love, and the softest of hugs, okay? Please do let me know how you're doing, if you feel like it. xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

#ask #classical-memeician #israel #israeli #israel news #israel under attack #israel under fire #israelunderattack #terrorism #anti terrorism #antisemitism #hamas #antisemitic #antisemites #jews #jew #judaism #jumblr #frumblr #jewish

[compassionatereminders]

Hi! I hope you're having a good day when you read this! I wanted to ask for some advice on a situation I've got with a friend. Tw for suicide mention and an extremely long ask My friend is extremely depressed, crippingly so. She struggles to eat, to sleep, to get herself to do anything. It takes a huge amount of power and energy for her to get herself to get out of bed just to go to the bathroom and then go back to bed, where she spends 90% of her day. She doesn't even enjoy the games or the activities she used to enjoy because it takes so much energy and willpower to force herself to get out of bed to do them and keep doing them that it's become draining and unenjoyable. She's not actively suicidal but I've had to call 911 on her behalf in the past because she was determined and really close to killing herself, she's more stable since then but clearly still struggling a lot. She cannot bring herself to go through the process of seeking a therapist as it's very long and she has to email many people and then meet them and there's the chance it won't work so she's been postponing it for months because it's overwhelming (and because she hates herself so much she doens't feel like she deserves it/it'd be pointless). Some friends who have their own struggles or experience with this stuff have told me she needs long term care and that I should contact a team to go to her house and assess her situation and see if she needs to be hospitalized. I feel like this would be overstepping a boundary and I'd feel bad doing it, but at the same time I want her to get the help she very clearly needs and won't get herself. On the other hand, she's trying to make progress in college and, even if she attacks and insults herself every step of the process (she has a HUGE amount of self hatred. She despises herself more than anyone would despise their worst enemy), she's doing well in that class and I'd hate to force her out of college and force her to retake that class later if the professionals deem that she should be hospitalized. I feel stuck. She lives in another country so going to her house and trying to drag her out of the house or just staying with her and keeping her company in person is not an option, which only leaves me with just talking and listening online which, while I know that lending an ear and giving support can help, it's definitely not a solution and she needs way more than that to actually manage her depression, anxiety, trauma and self hatred. I really don't know what to do, and since you have some experience with the other side of things and your best friend is a mental health professional, I'd like your opinion and advice on the matter.

Sorry for such a long ask and thanks for taking the time to read it!

I've been thinking about this ask for a while and I've decided that I'm not comfortable trying to tell you what to do here. The thing is, sometimes hospitalizations are helpful, and sometimes they make everything worse. It depends on a lot of factors. And I just don't feel comfortable making any guesses about it when I don't know the people involved and the exact system they'd be working with. Sorry to disappoint! I'm sending all my love to you and your friend.

#chat with kat #psych ward tw #hospitalization tw #suicide tw #suicidal ideation tw