#i have other stuff i should be doing today BUT i did successfully get a fill for another themed xword so i'm giving myself a lil break | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lampthehealthminister · 16 days

Text

The sun's light reaches even the darkest depths

Synopsis : Aventurine has a vicious snake in his head, but your voice always chases it away.

Warnings : Spoilers for Aventurine's backstory! It's just references, but maybe some people haven't played the quest yet, you never know lol ; Also intrusive thoughts?? Perhaps?? I'm not sure tbh

Genre : Hurt/Comfort??? Sorta??? ; x reader fic

Word count : 1.2k yoohoo

Notes : I haven't written a fic in more than a year... Forgive me if I'm rusty, but I just love this man so much ugh. Might make a part two from reader's pov this time because I've got lots of ideas!! Do give me advice if you think I should improve some stuff!! You can also request something if you like my writing <3

Even when he steps foot in the comfort of his home, the knot settled in his throat does not go away. Worse, when he inhales the smell of spices, it chokes him even more. (He wonders if you thought about him when cooking, and the idea of him lingering on your mind for longer than he should makes him want to cry.) He removes his coat, trying his best to think about something else as he hears your footsteps approaching. (Are you finally going to yell at him and push him away today?)

“Welcome back, ‘rine.”

Luckily, you greet him when he’s still removing his shoes, giving him enough time to build his composure back up. (How could he face you otherwise?) When he stands back up and meets your eyes, he is once again reminded of exactly why he is so drawn to you. (He knows it’s wrong, but he is helpless against it. Like a moth attracted to a flame, he can’t help but want to stay in your light for a little longer still.)

“It’s good to be back home.” (“I missed you.” he wants to say, but he can’t afford getting too attached to you, just like it’s not good for you to get too close to him.)

He wants to take a step forward, wants to fall into your arms and hide away from everyone and everything else ; but his feet are glued in place, and the weight in his chest is heavier than ever. His throat feels dry, his palms are sweaty, and for a split second he worries that you’ll start asking questions, that you’ll worry, that you’ll take his face in your hands and envelop him in your embrace, wrap him in a soft cocoon of gentleness and care and everything else that he doesn’t deserve. (Has the air always been so suffocating?)

He jumps as the sound of an alarm resonates through the air. He watches you scurry off to the kitchen and exhales a sigh of relief. (Did you notice how he almost lost himself just now? Did you see him bare, his soul completely exposed as his own body failed to obey him? Or did he successfully manage to trick you once more, just as he does with everyone else? He doesn’t know what he prefers.) He steps forward, inhaling once more. The scent of a foreign spice tickles his senses, and the name of it sits on the tip of his tongue, present but not fully here, an image and a distant memory.

It’s only at dinner, when he takes a bite of the food you’ve made, (The voice in the back of his head tells him he doesn’t deserve it, but he would hate to see you upset.) that he recognises it, the name shining bright like a lightbulb in his mind, a single piece of thread that he’s managed to get a hold of. He opens his mouth to tell you, but the silence in the room shuts him up. No words fill up the space, and he finds the quiet unsettling, cold, a shiver running down his spine at the thought. But most of all, he is worried about you. Why aren’t you saying anything? You usually tell him all about your day, about the things you’ve seen, about the plans you’ve made with other people, so why is today different? (Can you no longer bear to entertain him now that you’ve seen how ugly he is on the inside? Have you had enough of his theatrics, of his games, of him? He tells himself that he won’t stop you if you leave, but he knows he will always wake up in the morning thinking you’re still by his side.)

He finally dares looking up at you, worried that he’ll find your seat empty. Maybe you were never there to begin with, maybe you’ve already left long ago? Maybe he’s grown so attached to your love that he imagines you greeting him every day, feeding him every day, holding him every day. Maybe the house is so cold because you’re simply no longer there, because he can’t bask in your light anymore. (It’s just what he deserves, so he shouldn’t complain. He’s always been too selfish with you, after all. Always about taking, never about giving, because he can’t afford to show all of his cards, even with you.)

“What are you thinking about, ‘rine?”

Your voice snaps him out of his daze. The first thing that invades his mind is the fact that you’re here. He suddenly feels warm all over, like his heart is being cradled by gentle arms, like his soul is being taken care of by a kind gaze. (Did Kakavasha feel like that, too? Was it when his sister held his hand, when his mother kissed him on the forehead for the first time?) This time, he can’t prevent his real thoughts from tumbling out of his lips.

“You.”

The expression that graces your face rivals even the Mother Goddess’ blessings, he thinks. As if his word was a prayer, you light up even more than before, gently coating him in your warmth. (How did he even manage to find someone like you?) You smile at him so openly, so genuinely, like you’re not afraid to show him what you feel ; and every time, he falls for it, for you, even harder than he should. You reach for his left hand, and he hopes you don’t feel how his pulse is fluttering under his skin, how his heart is racing just by being in your presence. He loves you. Even if it’s dangerous, even if you leave him, even if he hurts you. Right now, he loves you, and it’s as sickening as it’s sweet, sticking to his lungs like golden honey.

That night, he watches as the moon traces a serpentine path of light on your skin. You’re talking to him, keeping him company as he ties all the strings of sleep together slowly. You still hold his hand in yours, and despite having long since removed his gloves, he can’t get enough of your touch. Even now, you look at him in that special way, with that gaze only reserved for him, and yet he doesn’t recognise the emotion that lingers in it. He doesn’t have time to think too much about it either, because exhaustion is dragging him down. Like an anchor, it pulls at his feet, forces him down in the dark even if he hates it. He squeezes your hand tighter, a desperate attempt to stay afloat, but he’s already too far gone in the depths, your image only a distorted reflection above the water. If he doesn’t come back from there, he’ll at least imprint all of the details of your face in his mind one last time.

Even while he sleeps, you don’t let him go. You hold him close, look at the way his features relax. You gaze at him with an adoration he never notices, doesn’t want to see. Words scratch at his walls, make him feel vulnerable, tear him apart from the inside out, so you never use them. You only hold his hand and lead him somewhere else, so that even if he is lost, he doesn’t have to look far to find his way home again.

#aventurine honkai star rail #aventurine x reader #hsr aventurine #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #star rail aventurine

123 notes · View notes

animeomegas · 2 years

Text

Omega!Denki - Back of the neck

(This is a birthday gift!!! For the wonderful, amazing, ridiculously talented @omeganronpa!!!! Because birthdays! and celebrations! and yay!!! I hope you enjoy it 🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤💖💗💓💞💕💟💝💘)

Summary: Denki knew he was smitten with this alpha from class 3B... but did they seriously put him into subspace just by putting their hand at the back of his neck??? Fuck, he had it bad.

Warnings: This is non-sexual subspace. Denki does take his shirt off at one point but alpha reader averts their eyes because they are a Respectful Alpha™ thank you very much 😤 Mineta is also a jealous bitch in this.

It was Denki’s favourite night of the week: Friday night. There was no need to do homework, no late training exercises, and best of all, Bakusquad movie night!

Snacks, films and friends, was there a better combination?

“So,” Kirishima said, wiggling his eyebrows as Sero tried to locate the remote to put on the film. “Are you and that alpha from 3B official yet?”

Denki pouted at the question as he hugged a pillow to his chest.

“No, not yet… I totally thought they would make it official when they took me out to that café last week, but they didn’t…”

“Aww, it will happen, Denks, don’t worry!” Mina cooed, ruffling his hair. “Take it from another alpha, they’re so obviously head over heels for you!”

At that moment, Sero successfully located the remote behind one of the curtains with a triumphant noise.

“Found it!” he held up the remote in triumph and returned to the couches and plopped himself down. “But hey, if you’re so worried about it, why not ask them to join next week’s movie night? You can offer to walk them back to their dorm and confess on the doorstep all romantic and stuff. Alphas don’t have to make the first move anymore, dude.”

Denki turned the idea over in his mind for a moment. He was nervous to reveal his feelings so candidly, but maybe his friends were right.

“Yeah… okay, good idea, Sero, I’ll do that if you guys don’t mind an extra person next week?”

“Whatever, as long as they don’t talk over the film like some people. Now, are we going to watch this movie or what?”

“Sure!” Denki grinned, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “Sorry Bakugou, didn’t mean to side-track everyone. Press play!”

…

“Are you sure your friends don’t mind me crashing movie night? I know it’s your thing.”

Denki hummed without registering your words, focusing instead on the feeling of your hand on his lower back.

“Denki? Earth to Denki?”

Denki startled, stopping in his tracks and looking at you with wide eyes.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

You stopped walking with him, both of you now standing a couple of metres from the 3A dorm entrance.

“Are you okay?” you asked softly, rubbing his arms with your hands. “You’ve been really out of it today.”

“Sorry,” he apologised, rubbing tiredly at his face. “I didn’t sleep well at all last night, just couldn’t get my brain to shut up and then I got the shit kicked out of me by Midoriya during a spar today. He didn’t mean to hurt me, but I swear that guy forgets that he’s fucking jacked sometimes.”

You laughed lightly and Denki’s stomach flipped.

“I’m sure if you decided to take a little nap during the film, no one would mind.”

“No!” Denki protested. “Film night is sacred! I won’t betray the film night ritual like that!”

You laughed again, this time grabbing his hand in yours and giving it a little squeeze.

“Well, if film night’s so sacred, we should get a move on because we’re already late,” you grinned at him in a way that made Denki’s legs feel weak. Every time you gave him special attention or affection, he just wanted to fall into your arms and let you spoil him until he couldn’t take it anymore.

You metaphorically tugged him out of those thoughts as you physically tugged him towards the door, allowing him to open it and let you both into the common area where his friends were lounging on the sofas while a couple of his other classmates pottered around in the kitchen.

“Finally!” Mina cheered, throwing her arms up in the air. “You guys are here!”

“Took you long enough,” Sero teased. “Did Denki get lost trying to find the 3B dorms again?”

Denki knew the teasing was only that, teasing, but his stupid, tired brain decided to let the comment sting against his will. He really wasn’t in the mood to hear about his incompetence in front of the alpha he was trying so hard to impress.

“Hey, it wasn’t his fault it was mine,” you said easily, slipping a hand to the back of his neck to squeeze it comfortingly. “He was on time, but I couldn’t find my jacket, sorry everyone!”

Denki only heard the start of your deflection because his entire brain was desperately focused on trying not to melt at the grip you had on the back of his neck. His brain felt like it was slowly emptying and then filling back up with fuzz. You had him by the neck and it felt so lovely after the stress of the day.

“Bro, you okay over there?” Kirishima asked, jolting Denki back to reality.

Denki swallowed heavily, trying to remove the cotton feeling from his mouth.

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine,” he managed to force out, automatically leaning towards you, comforted by the way you immediately wrapped an arm around him.

“Then let’s get this party started! I picked this week’s film,” Mina said, grabbing the remote off the coffee table and twirling it in her hand.

“Fucking help us all,” Bakugou muttered, taking a swig of his drink.

Mina made an offended noise and, without hesitation, threw a cushion at him, sticking out her tongue the whole while.

Bakugou let out a growl, just managing to catch the cushion. Denki knew he was just joking around, Bakugou was always like that. So why was his heart rate spiking? What was wrong with him today?

“Hey, let’s sit down, come on,” you whispered in his ear, leaving a trail of goosebumps in your wake. Denki allowed you to lead him to the sofa without a second thought.

“Okay! I’m pressing play now and if you can’t hear the film because you’re arguing, then that’s your problem!” Sero announced loudly, making significant eye contact with Mina and Bakugou, who reluctantly stopped bickering as the opening credits started to play.

Not that Denki really noticed them. Try as he might, he couldn’t convince himself to focus on the film when you were sitting right next to him. All it took was one moment of weakness and he was crawling onto his maybe-sort-of-hopefully alpha’s lap and burying his face in your chest.

He just… needed it. Every part of him was just itching to be close to you, to be surrounded with your scent.

Sure enough, he quickly relaxed, heart rate dropping as everything felt better all at once.

The way you wrapped one arm around him and used the other to stroke his hair pulled a tremendous purr from him, loud enough that his friends even turned to look at him, but none of them commented on what they saw.

Denki didn’t care who was watching though; your heartbeat was so nice to listen to. It was so steady and comforting. He let his mind float as he listened.

This was nice. He liked this. You were so amazing, such a perfect alpha. And he hoped more than anything that you would reciprocate his confession after the film. The reminder of his later plans sent a spike of anxiety through him, but you scratched the back of his neck and suddenly all the anxiety was gone.

He’d be okay.

You were here and that meant everything was going to be okay.

The film was nothing more than background noise at this point and Denki couldn’t have told you how far into the film you were because he’d completely lost his sense of time while he laid there dozing in your lap.

Until a new voice forced him up.

“Ugh, you guys are gross,” it was Mineta, who had come out of the kitchen with a pot noodle in hand and was now staring at you and Denki. “I’m sick of seeing you all over each other around school and now you’re bring it to our dorm? Gross, I hope you cheat on each other.”

Denki had heard Mineta say many things that were so much worse than that, but for some reason, he could feel his chest hurt as he registered the words. The pleasant floating was ripped away from him in an instant and all that remained was panic that this special alpha was going to leave him for someone else.

Tears bubbled over before he could stop them, a small sob soon following.

Everyone froze, even Mineta looked taken aback and a little nervous at his response. It was clear that he hadn’t expected Denki to cry.

“It was just a joke, why are you-“

You snarled at Mineta before he could finish, pulling Denki to your chest protectively and holding him tightly.

Mineta squeaked like the coward he was and scurried away as Bakugou shouted something Denki couldn’t quite make out.

But even though the perpetrator had fled, Denki couldn’t stop the tears or his instinct to curl himself into you as much as possible.

“Alpha, please don’t leave me,” he whimpered, uncaring about how pathetic the request must have sounded to you and his friends. He would say whatever and do whatever if it meant he could keep you. He needed you. He couldn’t remember how he had survived before you ‘d come into his life now.

“Shh, it’s alright omega, you’ve been having a tough day, huh?” you made a soothing grumbling noise that lined your words. “Why don’t I take you to your room for an early night? You’ll have to direct me, but I know you can do it.”

Denki nodded and you picked him up in one clean motion. He was perfectly content to leave movie night behind and navigate to his room from the comfort and protection of your arms.

Vaguely he heard Bakugou growl out some warning about you not touching him while he was upset, but Denki didn’t know what Bakugou was talking about because he loved it when you touched him; it made him feel safe.

Thankfully, Denki managed to remember the way to his dorm room, something you praised him for, giving him a little kiss when he managed to fish out his key. Slowly but surely, Denki could feel himself losing the panic and returning to that glorious floaty space once more. He liked it when you praised him. He liked it a lot.

“Are we like, together-together?” Denki mumbled into your chest suddenly as you walked into his room.

“Do you want us to be?” you asked in return, putting him on his bed. Denki screwed up his face in disapproval at your unhelpful answer. But floaty Denki had no qualms about answering honestly.

“Yes. Obviously.”

You chuckled, grabbing him some pyjamas from his dresser.

“Then we are. Simple as that.”

“But what exactly are we?” Denki asked again, stressing the words. “Are we… courting or, or, or intended mates? Or something else altogether?”

“How about we talk about this tomorrow?” you said, bringing him the pyjamas. “Right now, you need to go and get changed.”

Denki blinked at the order before immediately pulling his shirt off and throwing it vaguely in the direction of his laundry basket.

You sputtered and blushed, turning around to face the wall, muttering ‘or change here, that’s fine too.’

It took a little longer than normal for Denki to get himself changed and tucked up in bed, but you didn’t seem to mind. He loved that about you; you were so patient, not like everyone else.

“Will you stay with me?” he mumbled into his pillow, holding out a hand that you accepted, crouching down by the head of his bed.

“I’ll stay until you fall asleep and then I’ll come and cook you breakfast tomorrow morning, how’s that sound?”

“Hmm, okay,” Denki agreed, sighing sadly. “Next time you have to stay all night though.”

“Okay baby, if that’s what you want.”

Denki purred happily at the nickname and you chuckled at him. But it wasn’t a mean chuckle. You never laughed at him to be mean.

The last thing he remembered was watching and feeling you stroke his hand as he dozed off and then… nothing.

Until he woke the next morning, much earlier than normal due to his shockingly early night and prompt groaned into his pillow.

What the fuck had happened last night?

Denki felt like his face was burning at a thousand degrees as he recalled how he’d acted last night.

Was he like, the most submissive omega in the world? Seriously, a little sleep deprivation and a hand to the back of the neck and suddenly he’s clawing at an alpha like an omega written by a porn director…

His friends were never going to let him live that down.

“Fuck.”

#denki x reader #reader insert #bnha #mha #denki #denki kaminari #reader insert #gn reader #gender neutral reader #alpha!reader #omega!denki #omega!kaminari #alpha x omega #omegaverse #a/b/o

1K notes · View notes

sierrawr · 2 months

Text

NOBODY GETS ME LIKE YOU

It was the spring of 2020 where you meet Minhyung Lee, the one who you thought would last forever by your side through thick and thin. You were working part time as a barista at a coffee shop near your college and he was one of the regular customers of the coffeeshop.

"Can I have one banana smoothie and bagel, please?"

You are not going to deny that he does have a good looks. But you know better not to messed up while you are still working.

"Sure! Will that be all?"

You decided to take a good look of his face while his eyes are still scanning the menu. When he turned to look at you, that's when you tear your gaze away from him pretending look at anywhere else but him.

"Yeah, that will be all."

He cracks a small smile as he open his wallet before he handed you the notes to pay for his order.

"Oh, I'm sorry, but we only use cashless transaction here."

His eyes followed your hands which shows him the notice that says only cashless transaction is allowed.

He he purse his lips as he closed his eyes in embarrassment.

His cute gestures made you chuckled.

"It's alright, you are not the first one with the same mistake in here. Would you like to use your card, then?"

The clock reads 11:45 at the moment and you have to closed the coffee shop at 12 am. Since he is obviously the last customer, you thought that there is no harm in giving your kindness towards him. On the other hand, he let out a heavy sigh before thanking you for letting him know that there's some other people who did the same mistake as him.

"Yeah- But.. The truth is that I'm not good with card or stuff with machine thingy like the ATM or something like that. I guess I'll have to kiss my banana milk and that bagel a goodbye."

You appreciates his honesty and it feels a shame to let him go out of the coffeeshop empty handed.

"I'm afraid you will not kiss them a goodbye. The options that I have for you is for me to teach you to use the card if you want me to, or.. I can buy it for you. So which one of the options would you like to use?"

It is obvious that he did not expect the options that you gave him.

"Yo, I- I can't let you do that, you work here for a reason and you barely know me. I don't want you to use any of your money to me so you can keep it to yourself and use it for the stuff you wanna buy."

You can't lie that you are touched when you listened to his explanation about the reason why he don't want you to spend your money on him.

"And.. I kind of forgot the PIN number, only my mom knows it but I'm afraid she's asleep at this hour."

You nodded your head before you asked him to wait for a moment as you take his order at the kitchen. Few minutes later, you came out with his banana milk and bagel that you reheat just now. He was about to refuse when you swiftly hands it to him but insist that he should have it. And the next thing happened is you gave him a company as he finishes his banana milk and bagel while you are closing the coffee shop.

"I seriously can't thank you enough for this. The whole day was too hectic for me today and I did not even realize that I skipped my dinner. How should I compensate you though? I should return your kindness, so is there any way or anything that I can do to do so, please? "

It felt surreal that you, yourself have no idea how did your crush on him grows big and bigger from the moment he stopped by at the counter until this moment. But one thing that you know for sure, you gotta try to shoot your shot. And that's what you did.

"Maybe you can start by introducing yourself because I still don't have your name."

You successfully made him blushed so hard, and both of you spent the night getting to know each other while enjoying each other company until 1 am.

that night, you have learned that he is a Korean and his name is Minhyung Lee. But he mainly use his English name, Mark, around his friends. Apart from that, he is graduating from his high school soon and planning to further his studies at a college and both of you also learned that you are around the same age except for the fact that he is older than you.

Ever since then, he has been a regular customer of the coffee shop. And it would be a lie if you deny your true feelings towards him. You are afraid to confess because you are scared to get hurt by rejection. And you were glad you didn't. Because he just stopped going to the coffee shop and you had never seen him again ever since then.

A few months after that, you graduated from high school and got an offer to study at a college in Canada. You don't know why, but you decided to take the offer as it reminds you of Mark, who once mentioned that Canada was his hometown.

It is the New Year Eve where everyone is waiting for the countdown for the new year to start. And your eyes met with a pair of dark brown eyes which is familiar to you.

#nct dream #nct 127 #mark lee #nct fanfic #nct fluff #nct au #lee minhyung #nct mark #kpop #kpop fanfic

43 notes · View notes

miracles-and-butterflies · 6 months

Text

Second part to Milk, based on a prompt by @dandylion94.

Dolores went out the previous day “to get milk”, leaving Mirabel in charge of the gremlins, who may or may not have taken advantage of the fact.

Now apologies have to be made.

~~~~~~

Freezer Milk

“And none of you think that maybe, just maybe, you all took things a little too far yesterday?”

Antonio fiddled with his fingers, not moving his eyes from the floor. Camilo continued bouncing a ball back and forth against the wall, ignoring his sister entirely. Luisa just awkwardly glanced at the others, whistling innocently. Isabela just quirked a brow.

“I mean, we acted like we would normally,” she argued. “We would have done exactly the same if you were here.”

“Well… Dolores wasn’t here. It was Mirabel. And she didn’t look very happy.” Antonio pointed out.

“That nerd is never happy.” Camilo said.

“And if she wasn’t happy, then it’s on Dolores for leaving her. It wasn’t really a surprise she couldn’t gain control.” She turned back to Dolores. “Admit it, you knew the second you left Casita that she wouldn’t be able to stop us and yet you still went.”

Luisa nodded, “As much as I hate saying it, I agree with Bela. You totally used her as pawn.”

“Still,” Dolores insisted, getting frustrated with her cousins now. She knew she hadn’t helped, but the blame wasn’t entirely her own either. “None of you four thought about toning it down a notch and going easy on her? As Isabela said, we all knew she wasn’t going to successfully stop you.”

“Nah.” Camilo shrugged. “Besides, it’s good fun messing with her. She gets so worked up about it. It’s not our fault she can’t act her age.”

“It was like having a mini version of our mother,” Isabela added.

“What? Are you seriously blaming Mirabel now for your behaviour?” Dolores questioned.

“She is a teenager,” Antonio hummed, thoughtfully. “She should be joining in with the fun stuff, rather than just telling us off like a grown-up.” He paused then, sharing a glance with the others. “Why doesn’t she?”

Camilo and Isabela both burst into laughter at the idea.

“Because she’s Mirabel, hermanito: the most boring-est person in the world.”

“Why do you think? Same reason Dolores doesn’t.”

Antonio didn’t seem convinced. “Maybe we should try and include her.”

“What?”

“Yeah, we could include her and then she won’t feel all sad,” he explained. “The teachers say you should include everyone in games at school.”

“Toñito, it’s a very nice idea and your heart is in the right place. But Mirabel will absolutely hate it.” Luisa said.

Dolores cleared her throat. “We’re getting off topic now. The point is.. you are all spawns of Satan and Mirabel is still reeling from the stress you put her through yesterday, and therefore hasn’t left her room. So, you all need to go and apologise.”

“Gladly.” Isabela smirked. “After you.”

“For the last time, I have already apologised!”

“No, you haven’t! All you did was admit you’d lied to her!”

“Why don’t we all do something together to make it up to her?” Antonio suggested. “As we all need to apologise?”

Dolores and Isabela stopped glaring at the other, considering the idea.

“So long as we all agree Dolores is more to blame than we are, I’ll do it,” Isabela remarked.

Antonio nodded. “Okay! Done!”

“But you were tHE ONES WHO—”

“I’m in too.” Luisa cut in. “At this point I’m willing to try anything to get her out of her room - I don’t think she’s eaten today.”

“Great! Camilo? What about you?” Antonio turned expectantly to his brother.

“I don’t really care. Let Mirabel starve herself. It’s not my problem.”

Isabela elbowed him in the gut. “She did keep you alive yesterday.”

“Dolores?” Antonio prompted.

The listener opened her mouth to argue.

Antonio looking at her so hopefully; Isabela still grinning mischievously; and Camilo, who just kinda shrugged, ‘if I have too, then so do you’.

“You know,” Luisa started. Thank God. The other three were complete gremlins, but Luisa could have her good moments (when it suited her). “It’s a bit unfair that you always expect us to rise to your level, but never try to step down to ours. You could at least meet us half-way.”

“That’s a really good point, Luisa.” Isabela echoed, sounding as falsely impressed as a school teacher.

She takes it back.

Luisa wasn’t reasonable at all.

~~~~~~

With a hum, Dolores set down another heavy bucket. The gremlins, shockingly, were stood in silence, completely captivated by her actions.

“Wait, you’re letting us have a water fight? What’s the catch?” Camilo asked, looking suspicious.

“There is no catch,” Dolores answered. “Can’t I do something nice for us all?”

No responses.

“I’m nice to you, aren’t I?” She frowned.

“No.”

Her first thought was to say, ‘well, that’s because you’re all annoying shits and don’t deserve it.’ And maybe on any other day, she would say it.

“Maybe Luisa is right. I know I can be a little uptight—”

“A little?”

“I know I’m uptight,” Dolores corrected, glaring at Camilo. “But I should try to meet you in the middle more often - on the rare occasion your stupidity isn’t illegal or dangerous.”

Antonio gasped. “Wait, you’re joining in too?”

“Something’s definitely up then,” Luisa remarked.

Dolores kept going. “Mirabel is very stressed and worked up about yesterday. I just considered her another adult, you lot didn’t consider her at all. She isn’t very good at being a child.”

“Don’t say that,” Camilo mocked sadly. “She could pass for ten easily.”

“Not appearance-wise, Camilo.”

“No, no, he’s got a point, actually.” Isabela said.

“My friends think she’s eleven,” Antonio piped up.

“If I hadn’t been there for her birth, I’d believe she was eleven, to be honest.” Luisa admitted.

Dolores groaned.

“Not that I disagree, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make here. I mean, she can be as mature and uptight as she wants once she’s over twenty, until that point she can deal with being a teenager. And I’m hoping that by seeing me join in, she’ll be convinced to be a little less tightly wound and act her age for an hour. I’ll even settle for half.”

“Twenty pesos - you’ll get ten seconds at best.”

“We’re not taking bets, Isabela!”

“I don’t think Mirabel’s capable of doing anything fun, sis,” Camilo piped up. “She’s just so boring. This is a lost cause.”

“Well, Dolores doesn’t usually do fun things. But she’s giving it a shot.” Antonio argued.

Rather than respond, Dolores picked up one of the water balloons and threw it at an unsuspecting Isabela, who shrieked.

Huh.

Maybe this would be fun.

Isabela looked completely drenched - plant residue dripping out of her hair and down her face, the dye in her dress running - as she breathed in heavily. “FUCK! That’s so cold!”

“Good,” Dolores grinned.

Casting their eyes around the various buckets of water balloons around, the rest of the gremlins quickly dispersed to retrieve some ammo, leaving Isabela (too busy shivering and clearing her eyes) to take the brunt of Dolores’ attack.

The water fight had fully commenced.

There wasn’t really anything in terms of teams. Though Dolores did note that Antonio and Camilo never went for each other; it was nice to see how close her brothers were. In sheer contrast, Isabela and Luisa were all but trying to murder each other and rarely went for anyone else.

There hadn’t been any rules against their gifts either, but maybe there should’ve been for those two.

Nor was there any kind of point system. Maybe that was for the better too.

Isabela is extremely competitive and ruthless to win; Dolores and Luisa can easily get relied up in competition, though never to Isabela’s level; Camilo was probably a more normal level of competitiveness, he’ll bother if he knows he has a chance; and Antonio is just happy enough to be there - if he wins, it’s just an added bonus to a fun day.

The plan was that Mirabel would inevitably hear the giggling and screaming coming from outside. And in concern of someone getting injured, would come out of her room to see what was going on.

And it wasn’t long before worry clearly got the better of the girl, as she walked out.

Dolores managed to slip away from the fight for a moment to meet her half-way.

Mirabel, with her hair still frazzled from yesterday, eyes red from crying and missing her glasses, did indeed look very worried.

“What is happening? Is everyone okay? I heard screaming and I thought someone…” she trailed off, spotting the water balloons and how drenched everyone was.

“We’re having a water fight, primita.”

“I can see th— I’m sorry, what? You’re a part of… whatever this is?”

Dolores nodded.

As Mirabel stood puzzled, Dolores simply chuckled. She offered Mirabel a water balloon.

Mirabel blinked at her.

“You throw it at someone,” Dolores prompted, gently. “I promise they don’t hurt and the water is pretty lukewarm now.”

“You’re… okay with them doing this?”

“Yep. It’s kinda fun, actually. Want to join us?”

Mirabel didn’t hesitate in her decision. “Absolutely not. I was only worried that… no matter. If everything is fine, I’m going back inside.”

Stubbornly, she headed for the door.

Dolores quickly caught the girl’s arm. “I’m sorry, Mirabel. I shouldn’t have lied to you. I shouldn’t have left you to begin with. It was my responsibility to watch them, not yours. I didn’t mean to stress you out or make you think you’d failed your parents and me. You didn’t.”

Not really thinking about it, Dolores pulled Mirabel into a hug.

“…Dolores? My embroider—”

“It’s just water, primita. It’s fine.”

Mirabel went to argue, but seemingly just accepted it instead.

“I forgive you,” she said. “The children are nightmares. I can’t believe you are actually… playing with them? You’re completely freezing.”

Dolores scoffed. “I filled the red balloons ice cold water. I think the gremlins worked it out though… or at least Isa did; probably because I kept going for her with them. Speaking of, they probably won’t apologise, but I know Antonio and, at least, Luisa feel bad.” She shook her head a bit. “I thought me messing around with them would convince you to join in. I guess not. You don’t have to. I don’t blame you.”

“No, Dolores. You are actually freezing, to a concerning degree.”

Dolores paused, pulling away.

“You should—”

“No. You don’t get to fuss over me. I’m seven years older than you and I’m not an idiot. And especially not when I’m trying to prove a point that you should act your age.”

Dolores took the opportunity to glance back at the others.

All three of them had ganged up on Luisa at some point and now had her pinned to the ground. All of them giggling and shrieking.

She turned her focus back to Mirabel, once assured that the gremlins weren’t paying any attention. Mirabel was biting the inside of her cheek nervously, eyeing Dolores anxiously, while her face twisted with worry. Dolores can hear her heart beating faster in her chest.

This must of been what her mother felt like growing up with Tía Julieta.

The girl would calm down eventually and it’s not like Dolores was going to drop dead but… the water fight apology is clearly a bust.

So…

Resigned to her fate, Dolores rolled her eyes. She threw the water ballon hard into Camilo’s back - he mistook the attack as one of Isabela’s and promptly tackled his cousin to the ground - and then held out her empty hand.

Mirabel titled her head in confusion. Slowly, her lips raised in understanding. “Wait, are you letting me take care of—”

“Ten minutes, Mira. You can mother hen me for ten minutes and that’s it.”

#encanto #my writing #ask me anything #mirabel madrigal #dolores madrigal #isabela madrigal #luisa madrigal #camilo madrigal #antonio madrigal #julieta madrigal #pepa madrigal

20 notes · View notes

inconmess · 4 days

Text

I know I posted a lot today but still having too many thoughts about this episode so I am repeating some of my posts and others I am adding as a side note. The tune on my head as I am writing the post and what I was reminded of as I watched the episode. Putting everything under the cut.

Tbh, I was kinda expecting Leo and Grimoria to fall before Malcolm and Edgar with the number of scars they had but with this outcome? *chefs kiss* The psychedelic shit that went down in the second half of the episode combined with the first half and it's feels and all the emotional talks were kind of the whiplash I was expecting but not expecting at the same time?

I was not expecting the talk between Leo and Edgar about their sisters and their trauma openly given that Edgar is a very conservative person and doesn't open up that much and the fact that it was implied they might've known each other before the whole circle had formed? I mean, it was a speculation and I may have overshot the time they might've known each other but still, I wasn't also expecting Leo to talk about his trauma so...

Though I kinda also wanted them to talk about that with Malcolm also given that I think he might also need an explanation to all the breakdowns that were going on the end of the second episode, you know but him not knowing also gives an interesting dynamic.

The dynamic between Malcolm and his mother was also an interesting thing to explore, given that Malcolm told that she had a soft corner for him but at the same time I think he underestimated how much she knows about the actual inner dealings of the company and her resistance to give information out that easily? Her asking him to come back into the family was also interesting given the fact that Malcolm had previously mentioned how he was thrown out and will most likely not be welcome back (as Malcom did mention in the episode) Don't worry ma'am, Malcolm wouldn't require the days at all.

Pity we didn't see an interaction between Edgar and his father because we have seen everyone else with their parents/parental figures for a conversation over the course of stuff. But even if psychedelic, I am glad for the sister interaction Edgar got out of it.

Also, wondering how Declan actually escaped the carnage and successfully went back to Serenity without letting it out that the mission went wrong given the way the psychedelics worked... Also is the psychedelics an extension of whatever Calinus tried to do? Was it his legacy?

And the placement of the circle of the Wyrm and it's crime scene was just... *chefs kiss* just the right amount of horror and anticipation and the immediate jump scare of everyone dropping?

I have too many questions and too little answers.

The machine which took Edgar's sister was made years before the war and probably was evolved during the war and used to end it but what actually happens to the people who are hit by the rays? Are they just disintegrated? Disappear and transported? What happened? I have similar question regarding what happened to Leo's sister and friends.

I ALSO NEED MORE INFO ON GRIMORIA'S BACKGROUND!!!!

I wonder how the fallout of this current episode will be for Zora, given that she just lost Declan and now gets to know that the circle of the Wrym is completely dead because of their "expeditions" and two of the Crimson Mirror has also now fallen to this thing. Her worry for the other two when they haven't come back...

I also wonder what will be going on in Grimoria's head as she read Leo's will (which I initially thought to be Edgar's but I won't be surprised if Edgar did leave a will for Grimoria. And Malcolm)

Speaking of, someone should inform Glask about Malcolm's fate? And Edgar's hospital. And Edgar's dad maybe. Maybe Candela takes care of it? Maybe not? But I DO NOT want Grimoria to go back to the Frogs.

Liam, you incredible man, the story may not have been what you set out to tell but it was pure gold and hats off to the rest of the cast for how they went about the whole thing. Alex and his reactions, Imari and his Candelas, Taliesen and his roleplay and Aimee just being Aimee? Chefs kiss.

Thank you for hearing my rant for the day, might catch the 2nd rebroadcast in a few hours and just immerse in it but man I LOVE THIS CIRCLE!

Liam just asking the others to stop helping each other and die was one of my favs of the day! Along with Alex deciding to shoot Malcolm and the honest to god description the whole episode?

I just wanted to see more of Declan and his relationship with the circle even if it is from anecdotes from the circle in itself, maybe an insight into how they got introduced to him but it's fine.

Still want to know how this all ties in with Tide and Bone and really looking forward to the session zero of this circle cuz I WANT SOME QUESTIONS SIRS AND MA'AM!

#critical role #candela obscura #candela obscura spoilers #candela spoilers #messy thots #literally messy thoughts #they are all over the place #just like me after the episode #long post #But I loved it today #critical role spoilers

9 notes · View notes

hospitalterrorizer · 24 days

Text

diary203

4/5-6/2024

friday - saturday

annoyed.

my gf had me go out with our friend because he successfully defended his thesis today. i didn't think i would but i was persuaded and i stood around in a club i didn't really want to be in for 2 hours listening to music that was either okay or decent but i wasn't enthused. i liked everyone i knew there but i didn't really have anything to say. i just didn't feel there or want to be there.

today i also got asked by my coworker to spot her some money, 30 dollars, i have 24 laying around, i say yeah. she says, don't tell anyone and that's weird but it seems like a shame thing. so like, other people are around, i don't get to, or she doesn't let me. it seems easy to explain that she can't pay a phone bill or something to them, but maybe she's done this in the past and they have no sympathy. i just feel like i should be good for one favor probably. after that i am kind of spent, with everyone mostly, or at least with money. i tell this to my gf and she's like sure yeah.

but then when i bring up that i'll have to probably go over there w/ friends to just hand her the money she says like, why are you doing that, whatever, not in a jealous way, just like, what if we need money and like we aren't doing well i guess but every time i try to talk about it with her, if i need to keep my job for longer than i think to offer money up, pay for something, she says no. straight up no, it's not important that i do that. it's detrimental to her even for me to have a job because it makes me prickly and exhausted.

she does that in front of people, which makes me panic because it seems like we've been in the middle of a crisis and that she's trying to make me look bad on a night i didn't even want to come out for. i just got off work when she called, i had to go home and get myself ready for a second time today, and then i just stood around while people drank and i did nothing. which is fine that's the life i've made for myself basically. but it upsets me that she'd spring it on me out of nowhere like that.

when we got home i was like, what was that, are we fucked, what is going on, why would you spring it on me like that and catastrophize, and she was just like, sorry, i guess.

she feels worse than that but i don't know. i don't feel like i'm very cruel for being upset about this. it's not like i need or want anyone to validate me either, i just want to put the thoughts here, to see where i feel tomorrow i guess. this is the first 'large' argument we've had in a while. i ask her like once a week if i need to keep my job and pay for something, it's routine and it seems to bother her, but i keep doing it because i am so not in the loop about money because she decides i'm too anxious and stupid to deal with it, but then she brings it up in a way that's like, socially humiliating or something? like i don't know. it's pointed to do it like that and maybe she doesn't even realize, i imagine she doesn't, but this is the kind of thing being raised by her mother would bring out, as in, it's just a kind of behavior she learns and it's not like i can really even blame her, or maybe it's not even fair to say it's learned. i know it's a real anxiety, but it's such a failure to talk to me seriously. idk.

and then before then she spent the whole night trying to have fun with me by grabbing my arms and touching me and i kept saying no and it took until like the 5th fucking time each time to get her to stop. i wanted to not be touched. i don't care if it makes me cold i am just like that sometimes i don't want to be touched all of the time i can't handle it, it feels bad sometimes, like painful and like bugs crawling on me. it's anyone that can do this, anyone on earth will make me feel like that and it's not some issue with her. it's me but i'd like it to be respected or something.

there's other stuff today too that's not a relationship drama. i mean most of our day was good together, what little there was because i spent most of my time at work. we saw our friend who defended his thesis earlier, or she brought him over before i left. that was nice. i liked seeing her then. i liked seeing her in the club even though i wasn't having fun and she was irritating me sometimes.

and then i wanted to work on music stuff today but i just have no time and people are coming over tomorrow. i feel hurried and bothered.

as soon as i got home i had like 2 people texting me anxiously as i was trying to get ready, my gf and co worker. my gf was trying to get an uber to me, or our friend got it and then she was coordinating, and my co worker just desperate about me trying to get to work tomorrow to give her 24 dollars. my gf is crazy if she thinks i want to do this but it's like, if someone is asking me of all people for help, and not their parents, not other people, they must either be scared of something or just not getting any other help, which makes me feel bad and it's not like this cash was in any fund for anything. it was literally my money, untethered to any plans of any kind. i don't want anything from me helping her, i literally just want to know that her life is less bad or something, this is the minimum i can do for anybody and it makes me feel awful i can't do it most of the time.

if i consider what she said from her side, which i really should, it is obviously the kind of thing where she's just talking and joking like, oh why help her, she has parents, haha, and like yeah, it's funny and i should have said no but i didn't, so i am on the hook and as easy as it is to get off the hook it's like, that's happened to me too much to want to keep it going, not even with money just in general, people fall through, they are flakes, i would like to not be. at the same time she said something not really thinking (drunk), she really hurt my feelings, or upset me in multiple ways beyond hurt feelings. it's not fun to have to put this in front of other people, i don't think it's noble or worth anything, it's not even the amount she needs it's just literally the most i can spare as it's not sitting in my bank account, it is purely liquid and never accounted for, it sat here for weeks. if my gf needed it she could have taken it, if i needed it, i could have used it.

but the money is not the important part, it's that she was just trying to joke and dissuade me from helping, and that it came out relatively bad to me, she is probably right that no one else will think about it but i also wonder like, what is with the impulse to air it out like that anyways. whatever. i just don't want to be mad at her and i guess i'm not, she is probably upset at me for being upset at a failed joke but i don't really feel wrong for it. just like i should have let it go easier or something. but idk. on some level i feel like i can never tell her how i feel about anything. if i do, she takes it mega personal, which she is now, and it's always been that way. i feel trapped by it, i can't do anything about it.

anyway, reading was good. i am liking the hito steyerl essays more, and foucault is insightful as always, he got to the inquisition as an early example, or maybe not example, just vision of the disciplinary structures that would arrive, an antecedent of the panopticon in ways, but still very different as it organized nature, created natural sciences and enabled the exploitation of that domain, the panoptic structure does this for 'the human'. one thing caught me, is lodged in this book is something rather anti-hegelian i guess, or against the dialectic, it's a very simple thing, but given that these ideas of the sovereign aren't really excised so much as repurposed, for instance the parade as expression of discipline, the ritual still in some way points to the sovereign, as well, the sovereign is now managed, not kings literally but a sovereignty and right of individuals, this is developed and managed via methods of coercion, very interesting, as it posits not a real humanization of things, an improvement, but a method of retention and recycling. or perhaps this is my incorrect and strange reading and i am actually quite stupid.

i am stupid, aren't i.

so that is where i am at. i guess i'm going to listen to the album tomorrow, see how it sounds, maybe try another sequencing of it, and then, idk, take notes i guess.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 notes · View notes

laf-outloud · 5 months

Note

Did you see Jared talking about discussing things with writers for a reboot today? Do you think that will happen?

Since I received a few different asks (with varying degree of interest, lol), all about the reboot discussion from HonCon, I thought I'd combine them and share my thoughts about what Jensen and Jared shared.

Now, the main panel didn't really have anything substantative in regards to when a reboot might happen or what it might be about so I'm mostly basing my thoughts on the Gold panel (which you can view here.)

(Side note: The English teacher mention was just referencing the attendee who asked the last question because she actually was a student of Jared's mom.)

The question (starting at 29:31) was basically asking about how the scenes would play out between Sam and Dean in Heaven, post 15x20, when Sam tells Dean about Dean Jr., and then later Sam's anticipation and reunion (and meeting his Uncle) when Dean Jr. joins them in Heaven. Here's their response:

Jared: "I will say, un, not to try and dodge it, but I hope... I have some ideas, and I hope now that the writers are back, and actors are back, that we all get to see it together."

Jensen: "We get to see those scenes played out in real life?" shrug "Wait, what?... Yeah, (?) stay tuned on that."

Jared: "Yeah, yes."

Jensen: "There's some conversations regarding that conversation that are being had."

So, I know they've talked reboot before, and usually it's pretty vague... "putting the boots back on" kind of stuff. Here, Jared does dodge the question, which was very specific. If, what I'm thinking, actually sees fruition, @lol-jackles should ask for a writing credit, because he's shared this idea before!

Basically (and I'm not a mind-reader so this is just my opinion), I think they're looking at the possibility of doing a post-15x20 series that centers around Dean Jr. with Sam and Dean popping in as side characters. And I think that for a couple of different reasons. One, is, like I mentioned, Jared's dodge of a very specific post-15x20 question. The second, if you go earlier in the panel (around 9:40), Jared is still talking about hanging up the acting boots and moving behind the scenes to tell stories. I don't think he wants to go back to the grind of SPN as a lead. I think he knows that a successful reboot requires both Sam and Dean, but I imagine they would be there in a limited capacity as a way of handing over the baton to the next generation.

Now, you may say that Jensen already tried that and failed with The Winchesters so why would they do another series where Sam and Dean's roles were limited? Well, I think TW had other issues besides the lack of Sam that helped doom the show, not the least of which was an inexperienced production team. With Jared on board as an EP, which he's proven he can do successfully, he'd have power over the story, the casting, hiring the writers, etc. that could give a reboot a better chance.

Of course, it still sounds like they're in the earliest stages, even though they've had three years to think about it, and who knows what the industry will look like in the next few years. As Jared and Jensen shared in the main panel, if Supernatural had aired it's first season this last year, it would have been canceled because of all the changes the industry is going through.

Personally, I don't know if a reboot will ever see the light of day, regardless of how much Jared and Jensen may want it. There's so many obstacles they'd have to get through, including studio support. (And let's be honest, the WB is not in a good place right now.) Final answer... who knows! LOL!

Anyway, those are my thoughts. I hope you didn't mind waiting, but this was something that I wanted to respond to thoughtfully, instead of a quick glib answer. (Partly because the glib answers end up with tinhatters in my inbox, lol!)

#ask box #spn reboot speculation #jared padalecki #jensen ackles #ce honcon 2023 #anti spn prequel #j2 gold panel #j2 main panel #long post

14 notes · View notes

missno-0ne · 2 years

Text

SEA FOAM Chap. 1~ Steven Grant x F!Demigod!reader.

❥ Masterlist Summary: After being fired from her latest job and nearly being expelled from university, the daughter of Poseidon has recently moved to London to try and live a somewhat normal life. However, things never turn out quite how she expects them to be when she runs into a certain museum gift shop clerk.

Warnings: Language, violence, slight gore, crossover (if that counts? please let me know if I missed anything at all.)

*Sorry, that was so bad I'm the worst when it comes to summaries* *and apologies if this is a bit OOC, I literally haven't written in a year.*

Word Count: 3k+

Rounding the corner, breathing ragged, I reached for the small compact in my pocket. Feeling a hand grasp my arm, “This way!”

I quickly open the compact revealing a bronze shield with the same dancing and swirling patterns circling the front, the leather strap biting into my arm from how tightly I grip it against me. I can hear Steven gasp behind me, just as the creature before us launches forward biting at my shield…

☆:☆

My eyes scanned the airport in sheer boredom as a man scanned my boarding pass and gestured for me to move forward. I walked forward and started looking for baggage check. Moving was a real hassle, although I suppose I should be used to it, seeing as though I moved every year when I was still in school. But moving to another country? That was a real pain. It was a year-long journey to successfully move to the United Kingdom, or should I say England? There were so many precursors to moving; getting a passport, a job, (after being let go), getting a work visa, taking a leave of absence from college, then finding a place to stay, and finally shipping my stuff across the ocean.

To be honest, I was more full of dread than excitement, I never did well on planes. I shuddered thinking of the last time I was forced to board one, and quickly made my way to sit down. Surprisingly, there were only a couple of other people sitting at the gate when I sat down. I felt the chill of air rushing past me as someone ran across the linoleum, their clothes in disarray, carrying nothing but a briefcase. I opened my laptop and checked my email, nothing much other than past assignments and job application follow-ups. My lips pursed as a ‘ding’ reached my ears. I looked down at my phone and felt a chill, and my arms were covered in goosebumps. It was from my mother. I tentatively clicked the notification and read;

Hey just wanted to let you know your things are shipping out today, Aleta dropped by, she left a pamphlet, do you want me to mail it with your stuff?

I frowned and responded,

No, you can just throw it out, gods know she’ll find my new address and send more.

I hit send and decided to stare out the window at the tarmac for the rest of the wait.

☆:☆

I jolted in my seat as someone started announcing the flight boarding order and stood to get in line.

I shifted my bag from shoulder to shoulder and screamed at myself for having packed so much.

My eyes scan the aisle and I find my seat easily enough, although my anxiety is through the roof, just sitting here. I check my seatbelt at least ten times and pray nothing eventful will happen this time around. I lean back in my seat and listen to the pilot and attendants go over safety measures and slide in my earbuds.

And despite my caution, I feel my eyes fall shut and drift to sleep.

☆:☆

When I awake, the world is falling, no, I’m falling! I look around only to find that the cabin is gone and there is nothing but the sea below me. My stomach lurches, I’ve been here before, I think to myself, as my body hurls downward. I am about to hit the surface before my body stops, hovering just above the blue expanse, and a voice rings in my ear, I feel it reverberating through my body,

Do NOT make this attempt again, girl, I have no patience for rule-breakers.

☆:☆

I gasp as I shoot up in my seat, cold sweat on my brow, the other passengers look at me warily. I smile nervously as I sit back, only to notice that the plane has landed. I sheepishly grab my things and exit the plane, my body shaking, bile once again rising in the back of my throat.

I walk as quickly as I can to the exit and hail a cab. A friendly man with a wide smile asks me where I’m headed and I relate to him the address.

☆:☆

I quickly open the door to my new apartment and slam it shut behind me, gasping for air. Who knew it would start raining that quickly? Although I suppose I should have checked the weather before I left.

The room is pitch black as I feel the walls for a light switch. I flick it on and brace my eyes as the lights come on. This seems to be the living room, its hardwood floors, and white walls, although the one at the back is brick I note. There is a small fireplace that looks like it hasn’t seen a flame in over a century, and a small window with a seat next to the door. I smile as I see a small vase with narcissus flowers sitting on the ledge, a gift from the realtor maybe. I wander into the kitchen, which is essentially a part of the living room, the only thing separating the two being wood-to-tile flooring. I set my bag down on the island and walk through a short hallway in which there are three doors. One a bright cherry red, at the end of the hall, the one on the left a bright lilac, and on the right a deep forest green. I open the red door to reveal the bedroom, the lilac is the bathroom and the forest green ends up being a small closet. I smile when I notice the walls are a bright canary yellow. To be honest, I kind of like it, even if it is a bit strange.

My phone beeps and it's my mom, wanting to know if I got here safe, I send back a quick

‘Yep, heading to bed now, goodnight.’

It must be late over there because she doesn’t respond right away. I scroll through my email for a bit before my phone beeps again, this time it's my little brother, asking if I’m here yet. I smile and shoot back a quick ‘yep heading to bed now though, I’ll call tomorrow,’ but before I can hit send, he sends another text,

‘Aleta’s already bugging me about you, so you’ll probably get some more pamphlets in the mail.”

I frown, Aleta is my best friend, however, she could be a bit overbearing. And by a bit overbearing, I mean handing me a pamphlet, or talking nonstop about the group she joined a while ago, I blank on the name even though I’ve heard it a billion times, every time we’re together. It’s starting to get old.

I grab my bag and quickly look through it, hoping the compact I had was still in there somewhere.

“Aha!” I shout, clasping it in my hands, its bronze surface gleaming in the kitchen light. I look at the weaving patterns and figures wrapped around the side and I remember that summer. It wasn’t all bad I guess, I did get this out of it. Placing it in my work bag, I sigh and look out the window of my new bedroom. I’ll have to get curtains later, I think as I make a note on my phone. After grabbing my blanket from my bag I settle down on the floor and try to sleep.

The morning sun bears down on me as my alarm echoes across the room. I sit up and rub my eyes, look at my phone and-

“Oh shit! I’m late!”

I run to the bathroom, quickly brushing my teeth and washing my face, no time for a shower, although my hair could use a wash. I almost kill myself changing, slipping and sliding into my pants, and nearly giving myself a black eye on the bathroom doorknob.

I do a mental checklist before going out the door; keys, check, bag, check, wallet, check, laptop, check, phone check. Check check check, and I’m out the door.

After nearly missing the bus, I slide down into an empty seat and let out a sigh of relief. Great, just great, late on my first day, although, I should have seen it coming. My eyes snap open as the bus comes to a halt, and the doors swing open. The driver waits a few minutes before starting to close the door at the same time a man comes running toward us.

“Wait! Wait!” He cries out as he narrowly misses the closing doors. Panting, he walks through the aisle and stops across from me, "Is this seat taken?"

I shake my head and gestured for him to take the seat. He gives a nervous smile back and sits down, wiping his brow before the bus lurches forward.

☆: ☆

The bus comes to a stop and I start to walk towards the doors, glancing out the window at the building of my new job. I practically sprint to the doors but make sure to hold the door for the person behind me. A security guard greets me and a woman clears her throat.

“Late on your first day, are you?” She says shaking her head.

My face burns as I apologize profusely, “I am so sorry, I missed my alarm this morning, it must be the jetlag!” I say, scratching my head, my eyes burning a hole in the ground, wishing I was anywhere but there. “Well, nothing you can do about it now,” She huffed, turning and walking briskly beckoning me to follow. I walked quickly after her, my face ablaze.

“Now, seeing as you’re a new hire, tour guide right?”

“Yeah, I think so,” I said as we walked into what looked like a storage room.

“You can keep your things back here then,” she says gesturing to a set of lockers.

I nod and open a locker, carefully placing my things inside, and taking a deep breath, my heart racing. Please don’t mess up today, please don’t mess up. Don’t set anything on fire, flood the bathroom, or summon a hydra.

“Well, I’ll call over one of our other tour guides and have them show you the ropes, just wait here.”

As the woman left, I stared down at a table with boxes upon boxes, filled with, merchandise? I stepped closer to the table and smiled a bit when I saw a small keychain of a pyramid? I hummed to myself and entertained sending one to Aleta. She’d love it, at least I think, she had been a history major. My thoughts are interrupted as the door swings open, the woman from before, another woman, and a man walk into the room. I smile and back away from the boxes, setting down the keychain.

The doors open again revealing the woman from before, another woman, and a man who looks a bit familiar. I give them a nervous smile and wave, they wave in return.

Donna, I think her name was, introduced the tour guide I'll be shadowing for the day, "This is Kara she’ll be showing you the ropes today,” she paused in thought, “Oh! Don’t forget to clock in, and Stevie,” she gestured to the man at the end of the room, “you’re on inventory again!”

"It’s Steven,” He nodded before starting to move the boxes around on the table.

“And this is the new hire, just so you know,” the woman gestured to me. my lips turned up into a small smile, and he waved back as I turned to Kara.

“Well, shall we get going then?” she said, walking through the door, leaving me to follow.

☆: ☆

After hours of touring the museum with Kara, taking notes while she spoke about each exhibit and answered questions, it was time to clock out and go home. I walked down the stairs and opened the door to the storage room I think it was. I ran my fingers through my hair as I walked toward the lockers. Grabbing my bag and keys I turned on my heel to leave when I noticed the man from before, Steven I think he said his name was? Still scanning the last few boxes left on the table.

"Hey, are you heading out soon?" I blurted out, without thinking, of course, my face heating up.

I must have startled him because he nearly dropped the scanner when he turned to me, "Oh, yeah, after these last few boxes."

And oh would you look at that, my brain's stopped working, I think to myself before more words come tumbling out of my mouth, "Um, I could be totally wrong but, did we take the same bus today? Not the same stop of course! I just thought I'd seen you somewhere and well, I think it was the bus? Sorry, I'm being weird."

I burn another hole into the ground, and I hope, maybe I'll burn it all the way to the Underworld.

"Oh, right, yeah, I thought you looked familiar too, but I didn't want to say anything," he murmured, eyes falling to his shoes.

"Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to catch the last bus with me?" I ask tentatively, wringing my hands behind my back.

"I- that would be alright with me I suppose," he says eyes now on the last two boxes on the table, "I just need to finish these up first."

"Oh, yeah I'll just wait over here then," my lips form into a nervous smile as I take a seat on the steps leading up the basement to the main floor.

☆: ☆

After Steven finished the last few boxes we made our way to the exit, walking and talking a bit about work, which led to discussing various hobbies we had. I learned that he was extremely knowledgeable when it came to Egyptian mythology and the history of ancient Egypt. Along with the gods of course.

"Wow, you know so much," I said boarding the bus after him and then taking a seat across from him. The bus was practically empty, except for a lone elderly woman sitting a few seats down. I turned my attention back to Steven as he rambled on about the gods of ancient Egypt.

"Oh! I'm terribly sorry, I've been rambling on this whole time and you haven't even gotten a chance to speak!"

I shrug my shoulder, "It's alright! I don't mind. And, if I'm being honest, I could listen to you ramble on for hours, you're so," I pause searching for the right words, "interesting."

"Oh, I don't think so," he replied his hair falling in his eyes.

"No, no! I'm serious. I never really thought about it before, but the gods of ancient Egypt are interesting. You're definitely great at explaining everything too," I shrug again, as the bus slows to a stop.

The driver announces the stop and I stand to leave, "Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Right, yeah I'll see you tomorrow then," Steven says as I wave goodbye, noticing the older woman walking down the aisle.

I let her pass and then exit the bus with one last wave, and begin the walk back to my apartment. Or I would have, had a claw not ripped into my upper arm. I fall forward dropping my bag, head almost slamming into the concrete before I'm lifted into the air.

I hear a snarl and come face to face with... a lion? With three heads... One of a snake, a goat, and of course a lion. It lunges at me, its large paw swiping across my abdomen as I unclasp my necklace. I can feel it materializing in my hand, the smooth wood cool against my sweaty palms, bronze tip shining dimly in the light of the street lamp. I jump back nearly tripping over my bag. It charges, I stab at it with my spear, connecting with its side, my spear is batted away, and run. I look back and see it chasing after me, I keep running when I see an alleyway. I make a sharp left and hear it clamoring after me, its claws scraping against the brick walls and dumpsters. I make another turn and face a wall, a dead end.

I turn around and find it staring me down, the lion's head growling. It lunges and I dodge just in time, as a column of flame nearly burns me alive.

"Wow, you breathe fire too? I am so not going in tomorrow," if I make it out here alive, I think to myself as I strike at it.

I continue striking, but it keeps batting my spear away as if it's a stick. I swing again and this time connect with the lion's eyes. It howls in pain and the head of the snake lunges at me, but I bring my spear up just in time. It connects with the head and I tear it loose, the creature retreating from the alley. I lunge at it again, and another column of flames comes from its mouth, and this time I'm not lucky enough to dodge it.

☆: ☆

The pain is excruciating. I look at the burns that cover my arms, legs torso, and a bit of my face. I reach into my bag, which I thankfully managed to recover and search through it. I find the unbroken bottles of nectar and ambrosia, I slowly take a drink and smile at the taste, but not for long. Glancing at the clock on my nightstand, it reads 4:30:AM. I could scream, and I do.

I grip my hair and throw myself into my newly acquired mattress face first. Guess I'm not getting any sleep tonight. I sigh and close my eyes listening to the rain falling against the windowpane.

☆: ☆

I groan in frustration as I hear a loud beeping noise interrupt my dreamless sleep. I turn over and try to ignore it, but it won't stop. I sit up and rub my eyes, looking around I see that my alarm clock is the source of the noise. I go to turn it off when I see the time. "Fuck. It's eight-thirty."

Running down the street I stop when I see a bus coming toward the stop. I run to it, throwing myself through the door, handing the driver my change. I grab onto a handle just as the bus lurches forward, almost falling on my face.

☆: ☆

"You're late," a voice rings out as I step past security, "Again."

I look up at Donna and force a smile. "Yeah, the battery in my alarm clock died last night."

She turns, "Well, set one on your phone next time you're an hour late so you can help with inventory tonight."

I let out a deep sigh as she walks off, leaving me with my thoughts., as I go to put away my things. As I push open the doors to inventory and put away my bag, and go to start my first tour of the day.

I like to think it went well, albeit I forgot my flashcards and answered stared out into space a bit too much, lost in my thoughts of what happened last night, trying to remember everything about the creature that attacked me. The second tour, however, did not go well. In the slightest, and it must be written all over my face when I push open the door to inventor because Steven is asking if something is the matter. I sigh before plopping in a chair and hold my head in my hands.

"No, it's nothing," I say grabbing a scanner and a sphynx shaped keychain bringing it up for closer inspection.

I reach across the table for another box and suddenly he's right beside my hand hovering over my arm, where there is a now particularly bloody bandage. "What happened to your arm? Let me go grab the first aid!"

Shit! I pull my arm closer for inspection and start to unravel the bandage. In my rush this morning I forget to take it off. Steven is back now gingerly holding my arm examing it.

"It's healed?" He asked letting my arm drop in confusion.

I sigh, I'm seriously not ready to deal with this again. "It's fine, I burned it a while ago and then it got caught on something last night. It's just a scratch it's fine," I try to reassure, a nervous smile coming over my lips.

"Oh, alright."

I hear him sigh in relief, picking up his scanner again.

----

If anyone is interested in beta reading the next chapter or future chapters, feel free to let me know! Any constructive criticism is welcome. Thank you so much for reading!

Tag list! Feel free to let me know if you want to be added!

@preciousbabypeter

@lillycore

85 notes · View notes

theloaqueen · 7 months

Text

manifestation is instant

manifestation can & will be instant

there is always movement happening behind the scenes within the 3d even though we cannot see it & us loa lovers can do instant manifestation is just that we have limiting beliefs that is in the way that stops us from getting our stuff like our instant manifestations

now our limiting beliefs can be fixed of course but yes that sometimes stops us from getting what we want

our limiting beliefs can stop us only if you allow it

also yes limiting beliefs literally do exist bc us doing stuff like

- wavering because of us getting all worried about our desires even though we literally have them fulfilled already within the precious good looking 4d & yk what I might as well say this who cares if the desire did not come in the 3d it showed up in the 4d & the 4d is all that matters we are supposed to be/feel our manifestations anyways not exactly take it from the 3d so plz don't let the 3d bring you down bc you didn't 'get' your desires from it

stay delusional & continue imagining in the 4d yall

- is worrying about time time does not at all exist your desires can quite literally come at anytime & besides it is a man made concept anyways the only reason of to why your desire that haves a deadline or whatever did not come bc you prob worried about 'when' it will arrive when it did in the 4d already & you also worried about smt that does not exist for loa which is once again time

- you are lacking persistence & discipline now babe why are you somewhat purposefully stopping yourself from getting your own desires you could be the girl that haves her desires by now & showing everyone that success story but no you keep on getting in your own way now start persisting & disciplining yourself if you want that dream life of yours or just forever stay in the cycle of lack of persistence & discipline your choice

- comparing yourself & your loa journey to others now that isnt helping you at all within your very own loa journey at all isn't it no it is just making things take longer to happen for yourself due to you discouraging/demovaiting yourself because you think that the person who haves their desires or whatever is far much better than you & or they can achieve better success than you even though it isn't true like no babe

you are better than them

you can achieve better success than them

stop putting that person on the pedestal when instead you should be putting yourself the literal goddess of this reality on the pedestal

you should only be praising yourself you are the one in charge afterall

besides you should be the one that should be making them totally jealous & mad at your own success instead

if thoes aren't limiting beliefs than idk what is

now there are quite a few more limiting beliefs that I have in mind but am too lazy to write them all down so this is what you are getting

btw if yall want proof that instant manifestation is a thing

I literally manifested a session that I did not feel like doing today get cancelled on purpose through only affirming & I only affirmed that it would 3 times & once I was done I said 'it is done' & detached from my desire completely

now at first I was kinda hesitant to do that because I thought that it wouldn't work but hey it worked anways today & that is all that matters

so yeah there is my proof that instant manifestation is a real thing that was my very first manifestation btw that had happened today am actually so proud of myself for successfully manifesting that even if it is a small manifestation

now go get your desires or I will come to your house & slap you

#loa #manifestation #instant manifestation #limiting beliefs #dream life #success story

19 notes · View notes

mabsolgirl · 8 months

Text

Headphone warning

Transcript below! :3

I made this a while ago, around when I first started making art of the Supernova AU AU. There have been some slight changes since then but I wanted to post this anyway since its been just sitting in my drafts and starting to get dusty. The changes aren't enough to alter anything in the audio in a major way anyway so neeeeh.

It's been a while since I did voice stuff so hopefully I don't sound terrible lol

Obligatory @linxprime ping cause au of their au

Watch me pull world lore outta my ass cause I still don't know what im doing

-------------------------------------------------------

In the ruins of a crashed and destroyed ship, you find a strange audio file labeled "Project Supernova". You made a copy of it and now you have the time to give it a listen...

--------------------

Transcript

Warning. The following video is the private property of [REDACTED]. Any outside or uncertified personnel caught viewing this video will be terminated by any means necessary. Viewer discretion is advised.

Log 1.

I am Dr. Jane Doe and I’ve recently been put in charge of “Project Supernova” after the old one quit. I decided to keep audio documentations of my findings and observations. I find it easier for me to document things by recording them by audio then writing it all out later.

Project Supernova is a study on the abilities of intelligent lifeforms, how they manifest, if different abilities can be manifested in specific situations, and researching the phenomena of Berserkers. Before I came in, an embryo was successfully fertilized and grown into a stable state. There were many failed attempts with this being the only one that has made it this far, living for roughly 12 years as of this recording. To be honest I question the decision to make a lifeform rather than study the cases of people who already have abilities, but the higher-ups wanted to do this rather than the simpler way.

Regardless it is planned to come out of the tube once it reaches 13 years, which is a couple months away. It should be stable enough by then. Until then we monitor it for any changes.

End log.

Log 2.

Right, so I forgot to mention info about the lifeform last log. My bad, heheh.

So, the lifeform is female and it was made with the DNA of multiple organisms with the two primary ones being Human Earthling and Cuixcus. I think I pronounced that right. Cuixcus was used for their adaptability and Human Earthlings to counteract the weaknesses of the former. It has bones, can withstand hotter temperatures, and while it doesn’t need to, it does breathe oxygen. The DNA from other organisms were used to help stabilize it so it doesn’t just die spontaneously. The genetics chosen specifically to see if heritage has an influence on what abilities would appear.

Now the real reason I am logging this. Earlier today it was monitored that specs of light were floating around the lifeform’s tube. They looked so… ethereal. It was like looking at a cluster of tiny stars. I should probably mention that the lifeform is in an unconscious state. It has been like this since its creation and this was the first time these lights were documented. They disappeared before we could study them. Maybe it dreamt them up? We’ll have to keep an eye on it.

End log.

Log 5.

Today it came out of the tube, emphasis on “it”. We weren't supposed to take it out for another week but I guess it had other plans. One second it was in the tube, the next the lights appeared again and it was out and fell face-first into the equipment. It teleported itself out.

Since it wasn’t connected to the machines anymore it woke up quickly after that. Of course we were all freaking out but it didn’t seem too bothered by us. We ran some tests and it was stable. It bruised its head but other than that it wasn’t significantly injured.

It’s a very curious one. It would grab and inspect what we had. We let it for the most part and it would hand us back what it had when it was done. Right now it’s in its own room that we had to quickly scramble to finish putting together. It’s a quiet little one. The team and I decided on the name “Nova” after the project. As per usual we’ll keep an eye on it.

End log.

Log 27.

A lot happened today. Today is the first day Nova went into her Berserker state. The first thing I noticed was that she was much calmer than I expected. I expected a rampaging beast like the other cases of Berzerkers but Nova would just… stare at us. We kept an eye on our monitors to watch to see what she does and then we watched her create light orbs; like the ones from one of my first logs but much bigger. This time we were able to scan them to see what exactly they were…

They’re stars. I am not joking, she was making literal stars, balls of collapsed burning gas, in her hands! From our observations they disappear when she loses focus but still incredible nonetheless! We later figured out the key piece to what her abilities are: a limited form of matter manipulation. She can teleport herself, and those she touches, by willing her own matter into another space and the stars are made by manipulating the matter of gas and dust to collapse in her hands. It is theorized she can manipulate any form of matter so long as physical contact is made.

After a while she went out of Berserker state and fell unconscious. We hooked her up to make sure she’s alright. Right now she’s comatose; we’re hoping she comes back alright.

End log.

Log 39.

Earlier today one of the higher-ups came in and told us that we were not needed on Project Supernova anymore and that in the coming days a new team would be coming in to take over the project. Of course we were outraged. We were consistently giving them good results! We did what we were told! We did nothing wrong, didn’t question a thing. Nothing we said could convince him otherwise. None of us wanted to leave the project. I’ll admit, Nova has grown on us. She’s like family and now for some reason she’s being taken from us. When he left we all decided to look into it ourselves.

The more we dug, the more things began to not add up. Then… we found something. We’re not here to do what we think we’re doing. We’re gonna get Nova out of here. This place is no longer safe. We’ll get her out and we’ll be the whistleblowers to this place.

End log.

Log 40

…I’m… I’m sorry…

Dr. Jane Doe, Dr. Bailey Shindo, Dr. Margoba Entano, Dr. Manbagea Nals, and Dr. Ripley Hedon have been terminated. Project Supernova assets will be transported to [REDACTED] for further completion by a new team effective immediately. End communication.

#my sister compared this to mewtwos backstory and tbh shes not wrong #btw the name Jane Doe was a placeholder name since its commonly used to refer to someone dead that cant be identified (John Doe for dudes).#the name kinda just stuck while i was making this. I might draw Jane sometime in the future since i have design ideas #art #fnaf au #fnaf oc #supernova au au #i know the supernova posts dont do well but i dont care! i like making them :3 #im really happy with the scene at the end. the weird humming does have a purpose. id like to see if people can identify it >:)

7 notes · View notes

rianafying · 4 months

Text

hello diary i’m back idk what is happening or why i ever feel what i feel, but here goes nothing

i’ve been feeling very creative today, had a terrible morning woke up insanely dehydrated, could barely move, my arthritis and psoriasis had flared up as well, i had to cancel my gig but they’re fine, they had other people on board. i don’t really feel like i missed out because i literally couldn’t have gone and needed to stay home and rehydrate, plus it’s like 37 degrees outside, i’ll stay home thanks. anyway, so i got some much needed rest and i ate and drank loads of water and i feel replenished now and i feel hopeful and creative and i wish i could’ve just started something, a project or whatever. but i have no many chores standing firmly between me and what i actually want to do. will is a terribly difficult thing to conjure. i had a telehealth appointment to get diagnosed w adhd in melbourne so i can access the necessary treatment, but they’re telling me it’ll be at least $800 and at least 4 sessions to just get diagnosed. and that to me is a huge undertaking. i told them ill think about it but what is there to think of, i know fully well i cant afford it. i wish i had an ipad to draw on. ive been wanting to draw something for ages and i could draw on my physical sketch book but i just haven’t? i just cant? its the guilt from all the chores i haven’t done. there’s a proper inspection due in 4 days and i just know it’s going to cripple me with anxiety as the date comes closer. there’s so much stuff that i want to do. and yet i do nothing. i’m not doing even 1% of everything i want to do, because im stuck doing 100% of the things i hate but have to do. when im older, i hope i get permanent residency in australia or any other first world country, i wish i have a safe and permanent place to live, regardless of size or quality. i wish i have someone who can help me with the tasks i struggle with and i can help them with tasks they struggle with and if we both struggle at the same things, we’ll understand each other, we can struggle and learn together. hopefully this will not be a romantic partner because i don’t think my brain is hardwired to deal with matters of the heart in a stable way. i hope that by the time i feel safe, the children of gaza feel safe too. i hope we win. i thought of them when i got dehydrated and worried that ill get a uti, i thought about how much worse they have it. i think of them all the time but especially when im suffering and im reminded that they have it many folds worse. i try to derive hope, strength, and gratitude from that instead of helplessness, and powerlessness.

i haven’t been able to take out the trash and get rid of my dead plants and they’re starting to attract bugs and i really need to do that today, i’ve been saying that everyday, it’ll just take seconds. i also am very close to having $0 in my account because i had to buy some meds and i found some vitamins for half price and decided to buy a whole buttload of them #forhealthiguess also its SO HOT. and im trying to avoid turning on my air conditioner because my electricity bill last month was $140??? like why? it’s a crazy world out here. crazy expensive. for the millionth time, i really should get a real job soon. or try to. i doubt i’ll ever have enough to be independent. i fear i’ll always be at the mercy of my parents. i fear i’ll heal too slow to keep up with the damage.

all day i did nothing. that’s not true, i went grocery shopping and i made meatballs, and spaghetti and it turned out great. the one thing i always cook successfully is any kind of pasta, never fails. i feel 50% guilty for not doing anything important today. such as taking out the trash, cleaning my room, etc. it’s the one thing i hate doing: house chores. makes me wanna scream, cry and throw up. i made a mistake, last night i accidentally left my earphones on the couch at reception downstairs and hadn’t even realised until earlier today when i was leaving the building and saw it on the couch. i feel so relieved that i live in a place where nobody stole it all day. part of me feels like i don’t deserve to live so well. because for nearly a year, i have been living wonderfully, everything’s going so well, and all my demons are inside of my own head. this is new for me. there’s no actual threat, i think. still feels like there is. i’m less overwhelmed than usual, but still pretty overwhelmed. there’s always too many ideas and not enough ability to implement them. how do i feel chaos and clarity simultaneously. i just need a break from this mental torment. i think getting my apartment clean will definitely help with that. but it’s such a big task, even thinking about it makes me fall to my bed and start to rot. suddenly i find that my body won’t move. adhd sounds like it’s so quirky and funny until you’re surrounded with piles of garbage and flying insects and there is a mysterious sticky brown patch underneath the fridge that just will not move. until there’s no space to walk from one end of the room to the other without stepping on and crushing things underneath my feet. it feels as if my brain has acquired an endless supply of shame and guilt. i will probably not feel focused until my room is actually clean. clean enough to be inspected. clean enough to maybe even have visitors. i get anxious just thinking about the prospect.

#personal #journal entry

6 notes · View notes

joezy27 · 1 year

Photo

HAWKEYE - "The More Things Change, The More They Stay the Same"

A Kate Bishop story by Kelly Thompson

youtube

My neighbor across the street is trying to kill us all.

Okay, wait. We gotta go back further. Let’s see…where to start?

I broke my leg.

Actually, that’s inaccurate, Ladder Man broke my leg while I was doing super hero stuff during the pandemic. Oh yeah, the pandemic. Context. Stories have to have context. So let’s go further back. This is the last time, I promise.

Nobody ever expected this to happen. I mean, we were all waiting for the apocalypse of course... a zombie one, a nuclear winter one, even a sharknado one…but the one where you have to stay home for months on end by yourself and watch your life and loved ones slip away either metaphorically or literally or both? Yeah, nobody wrote stories about that. You know why? Because it sucks. And it’s boring. And nobody would sign up for it! I would fight a thousand zombie hordes before I’d be trapped in this uncertainty again. But we do what we have to do for the safety of ourselves and others. Even when the ask is huge. Even when the ask is weird.

And I am who I am, so I wanted to do more, I wanted to help. Heck, I needed to help, it might be compulsive, but let’s put a pin in that for now.

Annnnnnyway, while I’m someone with some very particular and impressive skills, I’m not skilled at everything. In fact, I’m bad at a lot.

The masks I tried to sew? They were bad. Very very bad.

The website I tried to build for Ramone to help her surf shop get through the shutdown? She fired me. Do you know how bad a website has to be to get your best friend—who is not paying you—to fire you? Yeah. It was that bad.

I did successfully donate blood, but there’s only so much blood you can donate, and only so many cookies you can eat. Well, okay, you can probably eat infinite cookies, and have a great time doing it, but not if you ever want to fit into your costume again. Like, a form-fitting costume with hip holes is not forgiving, people.

But it turns out—surprise surprise!—that Super Villains are not exactly great at following the rules. In fact, they see nothing but opportunity in times of crisis. So, yeah, Super Villain activity spiked real fast. Just in Venice Beach alone we were lousy with villains making trouble. I put up some personal bests as far as taking down jerks.

But…and here we get to the relevant leg bit. I was fighting Ladder Man and his ridiculous “stepstool minions” three days ago with Johnny and Ramone Watts, who most people know as Fuse and Alloy, brother and sister Super Heroes, who also happen to be two of my absolute favorite people on the planet. But I digress, Ladder Man, in a deeply Super Villain—deeply jerk move—broke my futzing leg. Small sidebar: he didn’t actually set my leg but I saw Doctor Mole at the hospital and that guy is just terrific, anyone that tells you he isn’t the best part of ‘The Mole Men of Los Angeles Reality Show’ is…well, they’re just plain wrong.

So. The Leg. Compound fracture. Healing time: 3 to 6 months. Total disaster.

And there we have it, after a solid little run of feeling like I was actually doing some good, I’m back to being stuck inside…can’t sew masks, can’t build websites, can’t donate blood, can’t donate money (did I mention I’m broke?), and can’t fight Super Villains. In fact, I’m more dependent than ever on the kindness of friends…and sometimes strangers…aka some guy that works in Ramone’s surf shop brought me a burrito today. Best burrito I’ve ever eaten. That man is a hero.

So I’m back to feeling useless. Or So. I. Thought.

Because the neighbor across the street from me is 100% a Super Villain and now I just have to convince Johnny that I’m right. This should go well. It starts when he finds that the floor by the window (and also his favorite jacket) are soaking wet.

“Kate, why is the floor all wet over here…and wait, what happened to my jacket?”

I wheel my seen-better-days wheelchair toward him, slightly sheepish, “Well. It’s a long story.”

“Ten words or less, please.”

“Ice arrow,” I say.

“All right. You can have more than ten words, explain.”

“I discovered that our neighbor across the street is a Super Villain, and in an attempt to expose him and thwart his evil plans I carved an arrow out of ice and shot it into his apartment.”

Johnny stares at me for a long moment, his mouth slightly open. “I have so many questions. Let’s start with why did you need an ice arrow? You have hundreds of arrows laying around, I am literally constantly getting stabbed by them.”

“Well, he’s got that huge window you see—with all those individual panes of glass. And I needed to break one of those panes…but I didn’t want there to be any evidence left behind that I had done that…so the ice arrow melts. Leaves nothing behind. Cool, right?”

“You learned this from a movie.” He says it. It’s not a question. I want to deny it but he knows me too well. Of course I learned it from a movie. He sighs, “I still don’t understand why it’s wet in here.”

“Well, carving an ice arrow is harder than you might think. A lot of trial and error.”

“Is that why you have eleventy billion Band-Aids on your hands?”

I forgot about the Band-Aids. I raise my hand, “Well, if you must know, some of them are from when I burned myself while making a grilled cheese sandwich earlier.”

“Okay, so you broke into this man’s house?”

I scrunch up my nose, “I feel like it’s more of a grey area than a clear break-in, but sure,” I shrug and shove a pair of binoculars at him, “Do me a favor though and take a good look.” Johnny raises the binoculars to his face and scans the villain’s apartment. A moment later he gasps and in excitement I do as well. “Did you see it!?”

He looks down at me, the binoculars still in his hands, “He has a whole huge closet full of …GASP!...toilet paper! DUN DUN DUN!” My smile fades. Johnny teases me, “Hoarding valuable supplies might make him a terrible member of his community, but I’m not sure it qualifies him as a Super Villain.”

I roll my eyes, “That’s not what you’re looking for dum-dum. Look again. To the left of the closet.”

Johnny scans again with the binoculars; I bump him, pushing the view left, “Left, I said!” After a long pause I can tell he’s found it, so I start babbling, “He’s got one of those creepy ‘Super Villain bulletin boards’ full of his plans—look there’s news articles, schematics, and notes all over…he’s even got little red strings connecting things!”

Johnny lowers the binoculars again, slowly this time. He looks over at me, expressionless and gesturing to the wall beside us, “You mean one of those crazy bulletin boards like this one of yours?”

I follow his gaze to my bulletin board and roll my eyes again, “Uh. That is clearly a crazy super hero bulletin board, not Super Villain. The differences are subtle but important.” His phone pings violently a few times and I try hard to talk over it, “For example my board has a bunch of low level thugs that I’m trying to tie to a bigger fish…whereas his board has the schematics of a local hospital, an insane number of articles on the pandemic, and--”

“Uh-huh,” he says unconvincingly while handing me back the binoculars, “Tell me this, Kate, if it’s really an evil bulletin board, why would he have it out in plain view…and with his shades wide open?”

I sit back in the chair, pleased with myself, “Well, you see, the bulletin board wasn’t visible. I saw just a peek of it last night when he was home looking at it…but then he covered it up with that drape when he left,” I gesture vaguely at the window and Fuse squints his eyes in that direction again. “And then this afternoon, after breaking the window pane with my first ice arrow, I used the second ice arrow to cut the cord to the drape. See how it’s fallen to the ground?”

Johnny squints at the apartment again, still not convinced. “So, you broke this man’s window and then wrecked some of his property because you saw the faintest hint of a Super Villain plan and--”

I interrupt him, waving my hands, “It doesn’t matter why I did it, I was right!”

Johnny glances down at his phone a finger raised that I should wait a moment. I huff out an impatient breath. When he’s done he looks at me. It’s a look full of kindness and compassion, but I can tell he doesn’t believe me. “Maybe he’s just a doctor, Kate.”

I frown deeply. “What doctor has a villain board, let alone schematics of his hospital?”

Johnny smiles at me as his phone keeps pinging, “We can talk more about this later but don’t do anything, okay?” He kisses me on the forehead and walks away from me.

“Wait! You’re leaving?” I roll after him, sliiiightly desperate.

Johnny turns back to me, “Kate. I know you’re going stir crazy in here, but you need to channel yourself in another direction, you already wrecked this guy’s window, don’t push it. It’s too easy for your imagination to run wild with this, but you gotta reign it in before you do something you can’t take back,” Johnny glances at his phone again, “I have to go deal with this horrible thing in Malibu, but I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

I sigh, defeated. And jealous that he gets to leave and deal with something horrible. I wish I could go deal with something horrible.

After the door closes I turn back to the apartment across the street, staring at his crazy villain board through my binoculars. “Guess I’ll just deal with something horrible from here,” I say to myself dramatically.

Four hours and six pop-tarts later I’m struggling to stay awake at my post by the window when my phone pings, jolting me back to full consciousness. A text from Johnny, sent…45 minutes ago!

JOHNNY: Maybe you’re right. It IS weird that a doctor would have schematics of his hospital. I’ll swing by his place on my way home and feel him out a bit. *heart emoji*

“Ahhhhh!” I scream and reach clumsily for the binoculars, which promptly fall off my lap, with my phone. As I reach for them, the light clicks on across the street. My villain is home. I click off my only light and stare. Johnny might need the binoculars, but my eyesight is as good as it gets, I’m a futzing Hawkeye after all. But my eyes are best when I’m holding a bow, so I raise it and nock an arrow for good measure.

Tracking my villain across his apartment feels so right…and also a little bit wrong. What if I am wrong?

My villain looks with a wrinkled brow at his bulletin board, now naked and exposed in his apartment. He moves to the fallen drape and picks it up, confused. He crouches down and touches his carpet—probably still a bit wet from my second melted ice arrow. The crease in his brow deepens and his eyes narrow. He finally clocks the broken windowpane. He comes to the window and examines it. And then he just looks out the window. Directly at my apartment. But it’s dark here and I don’t move. It’s not my first day.

He squints his eyes and it feels like he’s looking right through me. I don’t even breathe. He eventually turns his head and I exhale lightly. But I can’t help but gasp when I see him open his front door to reveal Johnny. Handsome and kind and just trying to do the right thing. A smile in his eyes since his mask covers the one surely on his mouth. Due to the mask I can’t read Johnny’s lips, a skill the other Hawkeye, Clint Barton, has taught me, but I imagine it’s something adorable and heroic, as is Johnny’s way.

The villain gestures him inside and it’s all I can do not to scream. Johnny, being the polite, and very strong guy that he is, goes inside, unafraid and trusting. Before he can even get all the way inside the villain slams a comically huge vase over his head. Johnny is down. I curse his kindness. He could have walked in there made of futzing vibranium…but he probably didn’t want to scare the guy, so he went in made of stupid, highly vulnerable, bones and blood.

Well, my villain has picked the wrong guy to hit from behind with a heavy object. As the villain rifles around in a cabinet (probably looking for something evil), I don’t even hesitate to fire my already nocked arrow. It slams into the fabric of his dress shirt and pins his shirt to the cabinet with a satisfying THWACK. He yells and I can hear it from here thanks to the broken window. He spins wildly trying to see who’s attacking him while also trying to wrench himself free of the cabinet.

As I nock another arrow he manages to spin out of his shirt. Now free, he moves as fast as he can to get away from the windows. I fire my second arrow. It’s not for him.

This arrow crashes violently through not just glass but some of the wood that holds the panes together. It’s a catastrophic structure failure and leaves a gaping open hole to his apartment. My villain looks up from under the arms he was using to protect himself, which is when I release my third arrow. It sails into his apartment almost happily and when it hits some of his cabinetry with a sharp ping it explodes into a hail of lights, temporarily blinding him.

My villain scrambles to his feet and I fire the fourth arrow. It hits him right in the chest. As intended. Safety Foam arrow has a harmless tip and then explodes into a sticky ..well…”safety foam” that—without help—he’ll still be struggling to get out of in three days. I watch for long seconds as my villain struggles and cusses and Johnny remains passed out on his floor. But Johnny is bleeding pretty badly. I pull another arrow and fire it across the street into the wall of the building. I anchor the other end in my apartment.

I grab my phone, re-secure my mask and with a considerable amount of effort heft myself, broken leg and all, out of my apartment window and onto the secured cabling line. Fortunately the villain’s apartment is slightly lower than mine, so with some painful but efficient scooching, I’m able to use my bow and slide down the line straight into my villain’s apartment. I bump up against his building with an impressive but painful thud and sort of half-toss myself off the line and into the apartment. I clear most of the glass. Ouch.

I crawl across the floor as my villain cusses at me and squirms. “Oh, just shut up!” I finally say as I inch past him in his slightly crunchy and slightly sticky safety foam prison. I get to Johnny and yank a towel down off the counter and press it to his bleeding head. He groans, I think, appreciatively.

I lay down next to Johnny, exhausted but pleased. I keep the towel pressed to his head and pull out my mobile phone and dial my very good friend that doesn’t think I’m annoying at all, Detective Rivera.

“Bishop. The world is in extreme crisis, make it fast.”

“I need you to come here…and bring an ambulance, I airdropped you my location.”

There’s a long pause, “This is across the street from your apartment. What have you done?”

“Saved the day, as per usual. I’m making a citizen’s arrest…or an off-duty Super Hero arrest—whatever, you can decide what the paperwork situation is—annnnyway, I am arresting this villain across the street from me that not only hit Johnny with a very heavy vase but also has detailed plans in his apartment about blowing up the hospital…apparently as a way of…” I roll my eyes and raise my voice, “…stopping the virus…is that right, sir?” My villain bangs his head lightly on the floor. He hates me.

Rivera sighs deeply on the other end, “Ambulance is on its way, Bishop. Walk me through the whole thing.”

“Well, you see, Rivera, it all began with this idea I had about ice arrows…”

FIN

#Hawkeye #Kate Bishop #Fuse #Johnny Watts #Detective Rivera #Marvel Tales #The More Things Change The More They Stay the Same #A Kate Bishop Story #Kelly Thompson #Stefano Caselli #Marvel Podcast

8 notes · View notes

forgottenyear · 8 months

Text

[tw: CSA, this does not end well, sorry]

[for your own safety, maybe do not read this one

i am only posting because i will delte it and erase the memoryotherwise[

In my ongoing avoidance of a certain subject that I keep bringing up, I will write about agoraphobia instead [do not believe it], since it has come up several times in the last day, and my filters have better sense than I do and are still sleeping. (I got maybe two hours of sleep.)

Today’s agoraphobia danger is low. In the past, it has been so extreme that I could barely contain my panic when someone stood talking between me and my bedroom.

I have had so many appointments over the last few months that I am desensitized.

Okay, that is all I have. Next.

Last night’s discovery, that everyone was so certain we were gay that they assumed our years-long heterosexual relationship with the girlfriend was a platonic friendship, is still surprising. Still more surprising that we never pieced it together before.

The whole situation with the mother visiting overnight has always been confusing but would not be in this new light.

My best friend in my life and I had a platonic friendship that everyone just assumed was sexual (hetero). My friend and employer and I had a similar platonic friendship. I also had a platonic friendship that my partner assumed was sexual (and also assumed was hetero). There were so many men, at that time, guarding against me moving in on their women that I began to joke that if I was getting it as often as everyone suspected I was, maybe I would not have started going blind (I am not) (I really hope I am not) (going blind, I mean, although getting it often would probably be far more surprising).

I have written that I go about friendships wrong, and I guess everyone assumes I am making moves. We have consented to sex with only four people in the life of this body (although two were never brought to completion because of a cruel joke of an allergy).

All roads lead back to the horrible subject.

I am not hypersexual. Not the way so many people appear to have seen me. Those who would act only with my consent have mostly all been disappointed by my cluelessness. My self-image is that no one would want me, and I have been disappointed by my cluelessness too often, when people have as much as said they wished I had made a move before the moment had passed.

Those with whom I have been sexual have made the moves that I do not. (both consensual and non-)

But so many people think (or used to think) I am always dtf.

This leads to the question, was the appearance of hypersexuality (and precociousness) a result of the way we were abused during development?

For reasons I hope are obvious, I am not into the domination and discipline thing from either side of that particular coin. I cannot do even the milder playfully rough stuff. I cannot function in a power imbalance. Which makes it all the more difficult to deal with the thought that I tend always to be the follower. I worry about what others assume about me. About my meekness or slowness and how that may coincide with my appearance of being dtf, to give others the impression that I want to be dominated.

I think, after what I was able to write before I wandered into the tangent of discovery, last night, that there are enough surrounding memories that lack purpose if the horrible thing I am not thinking about happened. I have not approached this subject from this angle, or not successfully before last night.

The most telling is the lie for which we were punished – a lie that a young child should not know to tell. (I do not know exactly what the lie was, but only that we were punished for it.)

We did have an issue with keeping secrets. The concept took a long while to sink in. This may be why the parents needed to assassinate our character so thoroughly. To punish us so severely for lying.

This may also be why the one form of abuse was replaced by the other. That it was too dangerous to continue the first, and too dangerous to allow us to develop any degree of self-confidence thereafter.

When the father died, I was surprised that conservative propaganda was still being forwarded from the parents’ email to mine. Only then did I realize it had been coming from the mother all along.

The most severe beatings came from the father. But the father was mostly away with work, so the most frequent beatings came from the mother. It was the same for neglect and emotional abuse.

I have a memory of an incident with the mother when we were sixteen. We were told this was medically necessary because we were recovering from chicken pox. That she needed to take our temperature a certain way, but there was more to the act than was necessary. We have assumed that our perceptions were distorted because that was around the time we matured. We were assured this was medically necessary, and it is not something I am in the habit of questioning. To suggest this was abuse is to deserve punishment for lying.

I need to stop here, about the past. I feel chaotic.

The memory I just wrote about carries the same confusion and feelings of shame for thinking what I just thought, the same as when the (female) doctor pulled my underwear down to check for lumps. The doctor did not ask or explain what they intended to do. It was arguably medically necessary (there was a CAT scan from just four days earlier). But it could have been done without exposing half of the genitals. It could have been done without exposing any.

My first instinct was to defend their actions. My first feelings were confusion and shame.

I hate this body so much.

2 notes · View notes