#i just have SO many ideas and thoughts about this arc and NO ONE is talking about this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pencilofawesomeness · 2 years

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Hi!

I'm sort of wondering when FT members will learn more about the dragon family's history, and who in particular will learn about it.

I mean, Mirajane finally guessed that Natsu is a demon, and while I doubt Natsu will explain everything to her (given that it would imply revealing secrets that are not only his own), I'm actually not even sure he will mention being an etherious specifically, but if he does, I rather doubt he will disclose what his true relationship with Zeref is (since it would be hard to do either of those things without explaining the whole time travel thing or at least that Zeref is immortal, though I guess he can asks Mirajane not to question that part, but more than that there's a significant difference between being created by a "bad guy" and being related to a "bad guy", so I'm not sure he'll trust Mirajane with that information.)

Anyway my point is : he might not tell Mirajane everything, but the fact that she found out but did not hate him might actually change things for him. What's more, hearing about the part where Erza, Jellal, Lucy and GRAY of all people, made friends with a village of demons might also quell some fears. (As long as he doesn't hear about the Deliora part of the story or that it doesn't affect him too much, that he understand Deliora was hated (and frozen to death) because he was destructive and killed people (including Gray's parents), not just because he was an etherious).

So I wonder if Natsu will start being more open about the fact that he's part demon, at least with the guildmates he's closest to. I mean, sure Acnologia told him it might be better to keep it quiet but a) he meant that in a general context, b) he barely knew let alone trusted the guild and its members at the time.

Speaking of which, I'm also thinking about the dragon's families other secrets, namely their origin, Acnologia's past and their connection with Zeref.

For now, I believe that except for the Exceeds and the dragons slayers plus Anna, no one has the whole story? Lisanna maybe? She knew most of it, I'm just not sure if she was ever told why they were sent in the future (in other words, what Acnologia did).

Other than that, the people closest to them would be Mystgoan, team Thunderstorm, team Shadow Gear and Jellal & Erza. It was pretty clear in the 24 hours race one-shot that Jellal and Erza knew next to nothing, basically they're just friends with Erik and they learnt about dragon slaying magic in passing. Regarding team Shadow Gears, I'm not even convinced Jet and Droy know of the dragonlings' dragon slaying magic, so I doubt they know anything else. Levy does know Acnologia is a dragon (and I must say I'm curious as to how that happened), but I'm really not sure about the rest, I would guess she might know about the time travel, but not Acnologia's past or Zeref. Thunderstorm is probably pretty much unaware of everything - I'm actually not even 100% sure Laxus knows about Zeref. Though with the summer camp thing he would have found out about Natsu, so... Mystgoan I'm really not sure about, but I also don't think he knows anything, if only because he's always too busy with other things.

I'm really curious to see if any of them will be told more in a near future. Or someone else entirely, Lucy for instance. Or if the revelations will always happen accidentally, on the battlefield, through another person, etc.

I'm fondly imagining Erik reassuring Natsu that Erza and/or Jellal wouldn't hold his being a demon against him, nor his being Zeref's brother, nor his loving him still, nor even his not (completely) believing Zeref is a bad person, as long as Natsu explained why he believes that. Because Erik does know enough about them (and the past they share) to know they wouldn't care, would still trust him and care for him all the same. I can even imagine Erik supporting Natsu telling Gray or Lucy about his being a demon, if Erik heard about their demon friends of Galuna Island. (Maybe not the Zeref part though. A bit too risky I'd say.)

I'm really found of secrets and reveals, of the hurt and comfort and the drama. I really look forward to pasts being revealed, be it by choice or due to old enemies (or friends) coming back to haunt the Fairies.

Ah yes this is an excellent question anon. Especially since I know I've been bad/vague on establishing who-knows-what since I've been hitting major events and then going back and filling in details at random times, both because of my flighty mind, and because I've been toeing around some things until I committed. Like this one.

Nevertheless, there are people who know, and over the course of the series, more people will find out in-story. Especially once we hit major group-fests like the Tenrou and GMG arcs.

Their squirreliness and awkward relationship with secrets is certainly something to be addressed. Really, it's like this with the majority of Fairy Tail, and it's a theme I am absolutely fascinated by: FT parades around as a "family," and they trust and love each other, but very few people in the guild are comfortable trusting each other with emotional hurt. Which is to say, the fact that FT is a fresh start for people is an amazing thing, but the focus on moving forward sometimes causes things not to be addressed. Erza would never have told anyone about the Tower on her own; Cana won't tell Gildarts he's her dad; the dragon slayers don't want to bring up their time displacement and quasi-dead parents; Gray didn't want to tell anyone about his and Ur's last conversation; Mirajane didn't want to be anything reminiscent of her younger, scared self. The dragons have created a sort of microcosm of emotional vulnerability within Fairy Tail, mostly by accident and the nature of shared secrets, but that doesn't extend to all of the guild. It's a question of whether it should, or by how much; of where to draw the line between lingering in the past and letting it drag you down unwittingly; of what makes family, and what that really means.

I ramble, but I say that all to say that it's a theme I want to try to intersperse and play with as the series progresses. So to answer your question: yes, secrets will be spilled and/or shared willingly. More people will find out more information. Like with Mirajane in this arc, because Natsu—despite having the most secrets—is a very trusting individual once it starts to unravel. (Almost like secrets can take a toll on the mind: what a concept.) So, without giving away everything, I will say that Mirajane will learn quite a bit by the end of their adventure.

As for who knows, there's actually a handful of people who know a lot, maybe save a detail or two. It's been mentioned a few times (I think, like with Acno's retrospection in bringing in Erik) that once somebody starts being at the house all of the time, secrets go out the window. The fun thing about that bunch is that while they have a ton of secrets, personality-wise, they're not very secretive. That's why the go-to response is avoidance 80% of the time. So Lisanna, Levy, Mystogan, Laxus, and Bickslow know pretty much everything, from a combination of being told things and exposure from always being around. (Lisanna got told everything out the gate by Natsu, since secrets are like his least-favorite thing, and then she was around when other stuff was discovered. Similarly for Levy, Mystogan, and Laxus. Bickslow found some things by accident and then the rest through him being surprisingly chill with everything; I have a side story that I think I referenced in another one that I've been wanting to write that focuses on Bickslow and Lisanna having to figure out soul magic because they're all confused af, but I haven't gotten to that one yet so I understand that nobody knows of what exists in my head, lol.)

It trickles down from there. Erza and Jellal know about what Erik went through, and they know about some dragon slayer magic stuff, but not any of the backstory. (Mostly because Erza didn’t think to question anything, and Jellal was too awkward too, hence the 24-Hour-Race stuff.) Same with Freed and Evergreen. Jet and Droy know a bit more, including about some of the time travel stuff, but nothing in regards to Natsu or Zeref or the Acno-is-an-actual-dragon thing.

With more to come, as I said. Because yeah, as things progress—like with the Galuna peeps figuring out more—it will start coming up slowly. It’s gonna be a lot of fun, that’s for sure. I, too, love all the revealing secrets tropes. >:)

#htryds #ask #anon #i really need to write more of those pre84 side stories #there's just so many shiny ones in there #and then they take so much time #essentially after each arc i jump to the ones i am the most excited about #or have clear ideas for #and then when I realize i've spent a long time on filler stuff #I focus on getting out whatever is necessary for the upcoming arc #and with some of this who-knows-what business #it's important but not immediately so #like a lot of the shadowgear stuff I had in mind #but decided to wait until before runaways to write #though admittedly some of it comes up in demon tales since levy wormed her way in #because after thinking i was going plan a for one route I ended up changing my mind to plan b #so more levy #or like how thunderstorm wasn't going to be around for a hot second #so I thought I could wait on that too #and then some things i was just dragging my feet on #though it would have made sense to do it sooner #like the mirajane trauma sidestory #though i thought about sneaking that one into demon tales through flashbacks #so still not sure on that entirely #but yeah guys feel free to ask questions #a lot of stuff is rolling around in my head #and future readers are probably going to be better off #because it's all so hard to keep up with time-wise #if it's a spoiler obviously i'll dodge #but stuff like this

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thymewayster · 1 year

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Really good Twitter thread originally about Elon Musk and Twitter, but also applies to Netflix and a lot of other corporations.

Full thread. Text transcription under cut.

John Bull @garius

One of the things I occasionally get paid to do by companies/execs is to tell them why everything seemed to SUDDENLY go wrong, and subs/readers dropped like a stone. So, with everything going on at Twitter rn, time for a thread about the Trust Thermocline /1

So: what's a thermocline?

Well large bodies of water are made of layers of differing temperatures. Like a layer cake. The top bit is where all the the waves happen and has a gradually decreasing temperature. Then SUDDENLY there's a point where it gets super-cold.

That suddenly is important. There's reasons for it (Science!) but it's just a good metaphor. Indeed you may also be interested in the "Thermocline of Truth" which a project management term for how things on a RAG board all suddenly go from amber to red.

But I digress. The Trust Thermocline is something that, over (many) years of digital, I have seen both digital and regular content publishers hit time and time again. Despite warnings (at least when I've worked there). And it has a similar effect. You have lots of users then suddenly... nope. And this does effect print publications as much as trendy digital media companies. They'll be flying along making loads of money, with lots of users/readers, rolling out new products that get bought. Or events. Or Sub-brands.

And then SUDDENLY those people just abandon them. Often it's not even to "new" competitor products, but stuff they thought were already not a threat. Nor is there lots of obvious dissatisfaction reported from sales and marketing (other than general grumbling). Nor is it a general drift away, it's just a sudden big slide. So why does this happen? As I explain to these people and places, it's because they breached the Trust Thermocline.

I ask them if they'd been increasing prices. Changed service offerings. Modified the product.

The answer is normally: "yes, but not much. And everyone still paid" Then I ask if they did that the year before. Did they increase prices last year? Change the offering? Modify the product?

Again: "yes, but not much."

The answer is normally: "yes, but not much. And everyone still paid." "And the year before?"

"Yes but not much. And everyone still paid."

Well, you get the idea. And here is where the Trust Thermocline kicks in. Because too many people see service use as always following an arc. They think that as long as usage is ticking up, they can do what they like to cost and product.

And (critically) that they can just react when the curve flattens But with a lot of CONTENT products (inc social media) that's not actually how it works. Because it doesn't account for sunk-cost lock-in.

Users and readers will stick to what they know, and use, well beyond the point where they START to lose trust in it. And you won't see that. But they'll only MOVE when they hit the Trust Thermocline. The point where their lack of trust in the product to meet their needs, and the emotional investment they'd made in it, have finally been outweighed by the physical and emotional effort required to abandon it. At this point, I normally get asked something like:

"So if we undo the last few changes and drop the price, we get them back?"

And then I have to break the news that nope: that's not how it works.

Because you're past the Thermocline now. You can't make them trust you again.

#netflix #twitter #economics #corporations #social media

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hauntingblue · 6 months

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Oh zoro that was a slay. The silence at the start until he attacks...... banger

#what the fuck kuma #and this is why zoro has won the sucking luffy off competition every day every minute every second #but here comes sanji to rival.....#or to win the zoro dicksucking competition.....#me when i enter the dicksucking competition and zoro and sanji are there: 😨😨😨#i have too much fun with this #its getting violent... damn #sanji down!!!! and not on his knees.#this is so dramatic how many fics are there of this moment #oh so thats what nothing happened was about #thats actually so good. zoro just taking in luffys pain and only sanji has some sort of idea of what happened. wild #but i thought kuma was gonna cut his head after lmao why did he leave #anyways that was wild #and luffy just like omg i feel so good :D lmao #well thriller bark was some thing but that ending was SOMETHING ELSE #christ #talking tag #watching one piece #episode 377 #you know whats wrong with this arc is that during thriller bark there is no good emotional story that pulls you in #and then this happens which is good but has like practically no relation to anything else that happened there but is a set up for the future #AND its character based plot bc zoro you know. but its just like 3 episodes. its like thriller bark was only to make luffy pass tf out #to have zoro pull all this off

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calamarieater · 3 months

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Daves ENTIRE PERSONALITY revolved around being just like Bro he never had the time to develop his own personality because from day ONE he wanted to be JUST like Bro he thought Bro was so cool to the point where he even ignored the abuse and just considered it normal, it's so common in abusive households for the abused kids to want to be JUST like their abusers because they've never seen like a normal household, and like most kids you tend to look up to your parents, which is what Dave was doing. Daves entire personality all his interests like everything were branched off from what Bro liked, he never got into things that Bro DIDNT like the only thing he didn't like was Bros puppets but dave wanted to be JUST like Bro he looked UP to him and people seem to completely ignore Bros abuse because of how dave reacted to it but ? what Bro does is still abuse and often when kids are introduced to abuse early in life they dont know that its abuse and they consider it normal which is why Dave reacted the way he did because he WASNT AWARE THAT IT WAS ABUSE WHICH IS NORMAL IN ABUSIVE HOUSEHOLDS AND ABUSED KIDS OFTEN THINK LIKE THAT which is why it comes off as such a SHOCK when you tell a kid they're being abused and whats going on isn’t normal and it seems like most of the fandom just ignores Daves abuse and everything and the fact that he never really developed his own personality until later on just because of the fact that he never really reacted or talked about it which annoys me SO badly I get its like hard to understand what abused kids are like and their bebehavior and stuff but!! you gotta understand like all his interests and everything came from Bro, his entire life until Sburb he wanted to be just like Bro he looked up to Bro so much to the point the abuse wasn't even something he considered abnormal because he thought Bro was just trying to help him be stronger and have a better reaction time or whatever but that's not what was going on and dave didn't know because he hadn't ever seen a normal household/this was his entire life this is what was normal to him so he considered it normal even compared to his friends lives, especially considering all the kids have semi abnormal lives other than john for the most part so dave was just convinced his life was normal because it was what he was used to and his friends also had odd home lives so he was just convinced that his life was the same gah I love Dave. I just think people should TRY and understand Dave’s character more, and it also just irks me how people see him as some flirty dude when thats not how he is, hes a wannabe cool-kid who has no idea how to behave and just mimics his Bros behavior!!! He WANTS TO BE JUST LIKE HIS BRO!!! HE SPENDS SO MUCH TIME TALKING ABOUT HOW COOL HE THINKS HIS BRO IS and you guys i swear he would NOT be a flirty little shit. He lives for bickering so he can come up with cool comebacks so people think “Wow this guy is REALLY fucking cool” when they're talking to him. So many of you guys seem to forget hes 13 in the beginning, his behavior is just a direct copy of how he saw Bro. He did not develop his own personality until later in life, and even then he still had a lot of Bros traits. Most kids dealing with abuse dont even know that its abuse until way late in life, because again, ITS ALL THEY KNOW!! If you lived your entire life not knowing what you were going through was abnormal, or even unhealthy, you would consider it as “the usual” WHICH IS WHY DAVE NEVER HAD A BIG REACTION TO IT, BECAUSE HE WAS SO USED TO IT. HE DIDNT KNOW IT WASNT NORMAL. Dave was a 13 year old boy dealing with an abusive father figure. From his interests to his personality, he just wanted to be like bro. that's all he wanted.

But, towards the end of his arc, we DO see him start to turn away from that desire to be like bro. We see him slowly realize, he isnt like bro. He doesnt want to be like bro. He isn't a "hero" like bro was, he doesnt WANT to be like bro was. But his entire childhood circled around being like bro, and it wasnt until bro died that he finally realized that wasn't what he wanted. But, as it wasn't until late in his life that he realized, he wasnt really able to form his own personality.

In conclusion: Dave is NOT some coolkid flirty boy, hes an abused child with no personality of his own. He is so much more than most of you guys let him be, and its so irritating to me.

#calamarichat #daveposting #dave strider #bro strider #homestuck dave #homestuck #dave rambling #homestuck rambles #dave understander #homestuck bro #homestuck analysis #dave strider analysis

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eureka-its-zico · 8 months

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Chaos in Their Bones Ch. 2

Ongoing Series

Synopsis: All your life you’d listened to your friend, Usopp spin wild tales about pirates and adventure. Pirates weren’t a thing that came often to Syrup Village, but one straw hat pirate and his crew changed all that the day they arrived. Now, you aren’t so sure if your sleepy little village was always pirate-free or if no one had been paying attention.

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, frenemies to lovers, slow burn (I hope y’all like aching) eventual smut

Words: 6k+

A/N: For this chapter, I played with the idea of having Zoro’s POV. It felt necessary for the story progression that I had in mind. This chapter was a tad fun to write, and I hope that translated well into the story. Originally it was going to be longer, but I realized I wanted to save the dinner to go with all the action to end the Episode 3-4 story arc. Thank you guys so much for the love you’ve given this little story. I hope it continues to be one you enjoy 🖤 Much Love, Jenn

Previous Next

This place is a maze.

That thought rang true with every hallway you entered and the endless number of rooms within. With every step you took inside Kaya’s large estate, those words kept echoing through your head. How many guest suites could one house possibly hold? But also, why would you ever need so many?

You’d been wandering the halls for what felt like an eternity. Your head poked into each room after a brief knock. Yes, a brief knock before plunging head-first into someone’s private space wasn’t much of a warning but at least you were knocking.

And all of this just to find Zoro who may or may not help you expose whatever metaphorical skeletons this butler had stuffed in his metaphorical closet. Or an actual closet. The possibilities felt endless.

You weren’t even sure how you were going to explain to him exactly why you were searching for him without sounding like a creep. You would just have to cross that bridge when you came to it.

You were about to give up trying to locate him because you were pretty sure you’d just passed that same exact clock for the second time in a row. You let out a raspberry as you placed your hands on your hips. Was it plausible you were lost? Inside a ginormous house like this? Yes, it sure as shit was. Maybe you should’ve been dropping breadcrumbs to find your way back to your own room when this was over.

Rolling your tongue around your mouth, you looked down to your right and realized there were only two more doors left. What could it hurt just to look? You were already down here anyway.

With a shrug, you moved towards the second to last door near the end of the hall. You weren’t in a rush to check what was behind either one, but you were also not leaving any stone unturned and all that. If your earlier dozen room checks were any indication of what to expect, you were willing to bet that you were going to find absolutely nothing waiting for you. The joy of joys.

You were just a few feet from the door when you heard the lock click. The sound caused you to stop dead center, facing the door like an absolutely terrified rabbit caught in the headlights. What were the chances that whoever opened that door was going to be Zoro? And what were the chances that he would be willing to listen to what you had to say?

The possibility of your questions being answered ebbed the panic in your chest down just a tad. Enough that when the door finally opened and Zoro was, in fact, standing before you, you silently thanked the universe for your suddenly award-winning luck.

That was until you realized he was just standing there. In a robe. A silk robe with his swords slung over his shoulder and because of his current hold on his swords, said robe in question was flashing a peak of his chest. You immediately wanted to take back your previous thank you letter to the universe.

This should be illegal.

The worst part? You were pretty positive from the way Zoro was staring at you - his eyes taking you in from top to bottom lord HELP you - he did not seem as impressed with you as you were of him. Why in the hell couldn’t you say a word? Yes, he was attractive - stupidly so - but he was also just another guy.

A guy in a thin silk robe and hair still damp from a bath.

You watched as Zoro’s body began to relax, or relax as much as someone like him could. It was when he let out a sigh as if your very presence was keeping him from something important, that you felt your feet remove themselves from their spot in the carpet and spring you forward.

There was a split second when Zoro’s eyes registered your movement. His eyebrows raised up in surprise as the almond shape of his eyes widened just a tad before he braced for whatever you were about to do. Zoro was planning on an attack and his body was primed to force you back. Instead of violence, he was met with your hands shoving him back inside his room with your foot kicking the door swiftly closed behind you.

Once you knew you were both securely back inside the room, you stopped shoving him. You waited for your eyes to adjust to the dim lighting of the room before you looked around. It would be embarrassing if you’d done this and someone else - Nami or Luffy or anyone else really - had been inside with him. The only thing you noticed, however, was his previous clothes strewn across the room.

When your eyes ventured back to Zoro you found his earlier shock replaced by what you could only guess was his usual stonewall expression.

“Look,” he began the timber of his voice causing you to jump. “You seem nice and all, if not a little disturbed, but I’m not interested.”

You looked up at him with your confusion knitting your brow together.

“Not interested?”

You weren’t sure why it took you that long to realize what he meant, but it was dawning on you at warp speed and your confusion was quickly replaced with horror.

“Oh my god! No, no! I was not trying to like, do anything to you like that.”

The disbelief in his eyes told you plainly he didn’t believe you, and by the tick in his jaw something was bothering him about your statement.

Shit! He thinks I’m a perv

You wanted to crawl under the nearest rock and die there. You followed his eyes as they trailed down his chest to find your hands were very much still attached to him, practically groping him.

“Then why are your hands still on my chest?”

A small squeak of surprise left you as you dropped your hands down to your sides and shook them like it would be enough to get rid of the feeling of cupping his very pronounced…chest. You took a step back from him in hopes that giving him space would save the entire interaction.

“Sorry about all the ugh…touching,” you mumbled. “But I did come here to speak to you about something.”

“This is going to be good. Is it to convince me you weren’t trying to grope me?”

“God, you aren’t going to let it go, are you?”

Closing your eyes you took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. When you finished, you opened your eyes again and gave him the best smile you could muster.

“Okay, let’s start this again. I,” you motioned towards yourself, “have come to ask you if you noticed anything weird.”

Zoro cocked an eyebrow at you. His arms moved to lock his arms across his chest somehow exposing the peek of flesh from the robe even more.

“You mean weirder than right now?”

You purse your lips together tightly as you try to exhale all the annoyance from gathering in your body.

“Let’s just move on from this moment, ok,” you began. “I came to talk to you about the butler.”

Without warning, Zoro rolled his eyes and dropped his arms from his chest. His swords clanging against his leg reminding you that he wasn’t making any move to set them down anytime soon.

“Here we go again about the butler,” he groaned, and the very sound shouldn’t have sounded as enticing as it did.

Focus!

“Oh, save it!” You snapped. “I saw you, okay? The way you looked at Klahadore before you followed your friends inside. You looked at him like you recognized him. Like you’d seen him before somewhere.”

Zoro regarded you coolly. The hardness that had disappeared while he’d teased you earlier slid back into place until he was as unreadable as stone.

“I’ve never seen that butler before in my entire life.”

“Why are you lying?”

You couldn’t keep the exasperation from your voice or how your desperation was starting to creep back in. Could you have been wrong about Zoro this whole time? Did you just see what you wanted to see?

No. You know what you saw and you were not going to be called crazy. You took a step towards him and weren’t surprised when he didn’t move back. Instead, he tilted his chin, his full pouty lips still very much pouting, as his eyes carefully watched you.

“You know, that I know, that you looked at that guy and went, ‘hmph, something’s not right there’.”

Yeah, that felt like a solid argument.

You waited under Zoro’s cool gaze for him to reply. For him to show any sign of anything, really. He was literally the most unmoving person you’d ever meet, and you were starting to wonder if he was even real. The shitty part about waiting in silence, besides the uneasy commentary your brain was beginning to make, was the smell of the vanilla and sandalwood that wafted off him in mini waves that assaulted your senses.

You were so intently transfixed by trying to match his unblinking gaze that when he finally moved his head down to be eye level with you, you’d almost jumped out of your skin.

“Is everything okay with you? Do you suffer from any brain damage?”

You wish you could say you handled the next few seconds with grace and poise. Things that all upstanding future doctors did when faced with adversity. However, that was most definitely not you, and you weren’t able to keep an exacerbated yell of frustration from cairning past your lips.

“Oh! You are literally the most infuriating man I have ever met!”

“And you are the most perverted woman I have ever met,” Zoro shot back, this time taking a step towards you.

If he was trying to intimidate you, he should’ve tried back when you weren’t ready to tear him limb from limb.

“I beg your pardon?!”

“Who just pushes a semi-naked man into a room so they can grope him?”

“I wasn’t trying to grope you! I was trying to interrogate you for information!”

God, that sounded so much worse.

“That sounds a lot worse, actually.”

Of course, Zoro would state the obvious, and was he - was he smirking? Your eyes rapidly blinked as you tried to make sense of what you were seeing because as fast as you’d noticed it, that devilish smirk had disappeared. Now Zoro once again looked as serious as before. You began to move back towards the door with your hands up in mock surrender.

“You know what - fine! If you don’t want to help me, that’s your choice, but you know I’m right. And I’m going to prove that something is wrong here with or without your help.”

You shot one last look in his direction before turning on your heel and giving him your back. You were at the door, your hand on the doorknob when Zoro surprised you with a question of his own.

“Why ask me to help you?”

Glancing over your shoulder, you expected to see that smug smirk on his face or to get the cold shoulder. What you found instead were eyes so intent on you - waiting for your response - that it caused your lungs to collapse. A million replies played over through your mind, but only one of them mattered.

“Because out of everyone here, I thought you would believe me the most.”

It didn’t matter if it was the answer he’d been looking for or the one you thought would win him over. You meant what you said and you hoped he’d felt your admission genuinely. If Usopp didn’t want to believe you, and if Zoro, who you still believed knew or at least felt something was off here, wasn’t going to be able to help you, you would just have to do it yourself.

Did you know what that entailed? Hell no, but Naan didn’t raise a quitter, and you weren’t going to roll over and just give up just because it was hard. Not when someone’s very life depended on you.

——————

After your incredible failure of finding a co-conspirator to help you on your quest for answers failed with flying colors, you weren’t exactly sure what to do with yourself. Usopp no doubt must have snuck in by now to see Kaya - sans your “gift” - and the others were probably in the ridiculous closet looking for dinner attire. While you could’ve gone just to socialize with everyone else, Kaya had sent a dress to your room.

Sham had looked absolutely miserable dropping it off and that was a joy all on its own.

You considered heading to the closet just to see Luffy again. Luffy radiated optimism like sunshine; at the moment, that sort of unyielding optimism was the mood booster you needed.

Unfortunately, you knew Zoro must have made his way there by now and you weren’t necessarily ready to face him again. The disappointment was clinging to you and that’s what you hated the most. You didn’t understand why you’d seemingly put all your eggs inside the Zoro basket. Just because he’d looked at Klahadore weird didn't mean he’d sensed something off.

Shit, Klahadore was weird and deserved every side-eye glance he got.

All it meant for you was going back to the drawing board for a new plan. One that was going to be able to get you next to Kaya. At least long enough so you could perform some kind of assessment.

You rounded the corner to what you hoped was the hallway your room was down. The earlier thought you’d had about getting lost turned into an accurate one. You’d spent just as much time trying to get back to your room to get ready for dinner as you had searching for Zoro.

Zoro.

Even just thinking about him made your jaw clench with fresh irritation. What was more infuriating than your most recent conversation was the fact you could still feel the strength of him in the hollows of your palms. The sharpness of his jaw and the high sculpt of his cheeks-

No! Absolutely not, you chastised yourself.

It was maddening how little he believed you - mocked you - and yet, here you were acting like some lovestruck teenager. He wasn’t that handsome.

You were lost in your thoughts to the point you weren’t aware of your body's attempt to warn you. The hairs on the back of your neck stood on end and a sickening feeling began to rot in your gut and made sure all the imaginary - very imaginary - butterflies disappeared.

The goosebumps that rose along your exposed skin informed you that the grand hallway, filled with all its riches and fine cherry woods was as ice cold as the dead. Has it always been this cold and you just never noticed? Or the eerie silence that made the manor feel more haunted than alive.

Your feet involuntarily came to a halt in the middle of the hall. You couldn’t explain the panic that was building in your chest, but it felt like you were being watched. Your heart rate sped up until you could practically feel it thundering against your ribs.

“You are being silly,” you whispered to yourself. “It’s just an old house.”

“Old houses do have their quirks, don’t they?”

You wish you could say that when Klahadore spoke from behind you, you’d reacted with grace. With dignity. What actually happened was you screamed sharp enough it could raise the dead.

The whiplash you gave yourself as you turned to face him was dizzying. You wanted to kill the fear that widened your eyes and pressed your brow into your hairline. Your mouth was painfully dry as you took in his presence and the absolute shit-eating grin he wore.

He enjoyed seeing you afraid.

“Oh dear, Doc, did I give you a fright?”

Klahadore gently tipped the frame of his glasses with the edge of his palm. You wanted to smack them off his smug face.

“What do you want, Klahadore?”

You struggled to regain your composure. You refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing you afraid. It was what he wanted after all and didn’t take much to notice. He was already trying to close the few inches your retreat had given you.

“I was simply wondering why you were wandering around the manor. You’ve been showing highly suspicious behavior ever since you and your friends arrived.”

Your eyes narrowed in on him and as you held your head high.

“Have you been following me?”

“Oh, come now, don't be silly. To have someone followed means you’re worried about what they’ll find, and you? You are the last thing I would be worried about.”

Klahadore dropped his head down until he was eye level with you, but somehow used his size to remain imposing. A thinly veiled threat to remind you exactly what he thought of you; nothing.

The first time you’d ever received an insult from Klahadore had been just like this. Alone and away from anywhere Kaya could hear him. He’d made sure that Usopp and you were together just so he wouldn’t have to repeat the insult twice.

“I know you two must feel exceedingly special having Miss Kaya ask for you to come keep her company, but I’m afraid this will be the last time you ever come over unannounced or not. We can’t allow her image to be tarnished from being seen with unwanted children.” “Unwanted?” Usopp had been so confused - he knew he was wanted; wanted by Kaya and you. Klahadore saw in that confusion an opportunity to place doubt in his mind and completely tear him apart. “Yes - unwanted. So unwanted that your father never returned, and your mother chose death as a final way to be rid of you.” “You son of a bitch!” You’d snarled and snapped. You were only kids. The world had taught you early on about hardships and fairness; how the world and the people in it could lack kindness. But Naan always made you look for the good in the world, and in the people who sometimes allowed the ugliness of others to warp them into someone they weren’t. It was a concept child you never understood. Teenage you were barely beginning to grasp it, but when Klahadore spoke those words so full of hate and venom at your best friend: there weren’t enough flames left in hell to cover up your rage.

The memory of that day left a black mark on your soul and you find it replaying at the most inconvenient of times. A harsh reminder of the first time you’d ever considered murder as a means of healing. The world would have to be a better place if someone like Klahadore wasn’t in it. Right?

Naan, as always, talked you down from doing something rash. From allowing someone like Klahadore to have the last laugh and ruin all the plans you had for your life.

But Naan wasn’t here to talk you off that ledge or to remind you who she knew you were. Your rage shouldn’t define you. Looking at Klahadore’s retreating back, you weren’t all too sure if it wasn’t you because if he ever showed up needing any form of medical attention, you weren’t so sure if he’d leave on his own two feet.

A body bag would suit him nicely.

You watched him until he completely disappeared leaving you alone once more inside the hallway. It felt weird to take those first steps back towards your room. To go inside and see the dress Kaya had sent to your room and know you were going to put it on and share dinner with that man standing in the same room.

There had to be a way to show everyone here exactly who Klahadore was, and you would spend the whole dinner trying to do just that.

———————

He’d been searching for a drink since his interaction with you back in his room. Zoro wanted to call you crazy - hell you acted crazy enough, but you’d done something he hadn’t expected.

You’d surprised him.

He didn’t want to admit it then but he did get a weird vibe from the butler. The minute his eyes landed on Klahadore it had sparked a nagging feeling of a memory he just couldn’t quite place.

And you’d noticed.

After you’d left his room, he couldn’t shake the conversation you’d forced him to be a part of. Teasing you had been easy. He’d expected you to be a bleeding heart, but as you’d turned to leave, stomping your feet and spitting back words that stung for just a second, it had been Zoro’s turn to notice something about you.

It was the fire of your determination that piqued his interest.

While Zoro wasn’t sure why you held such a stick up your ass exactly about the butler, he was positive you had a reason. Besides the fact he couldn’t seem to pull up a clear memory of why the same butler piqued his own interest, and that was beginning to piss him off.

What was even more annoying was the fact you’d brought it up enough that he’d asked Nami and Luffy if the butler seemed familiar. He didn’t know why he’d asked. If it had been more for him or for you.

That pissed him off more.

You seemed to be good at that. Pissing him off and getting under his skin.

When he came downstairs, Zoro expected you to be there already. A quick glance around the room informed him you weren’t there, but a row of flutes filled with what he hoped was alcohol most certainly was.

He carefully set down his strap of swords and moved closer to the drinks. No one else made a move towards them and, for a split second, Zoro was worried maybe the flutes were nonalcoholic. He reached out and wrapped his fingers around the delicate crystal and quickly brought it to his lips.

The smell of the liquor hit him first and his muscles relaxed instantaneously.

God. This was exactly what he needed.

“Zoro! You gotta try this!”

Zoro didn’t bother looking because he’d seen the appetizers being served when he came down the stairs. He wasn’t impressed. Plus, if he was going to make it through this evening, he was going to need way more booze than what was inside these little Crystal flutes.

“I got all I need right here,” he replied and brought the glass up to his lips.

The first sip erased all the tension that had been binding up his muscles. The next pull from the glass relaxed him completely, and he downed what was left in one giant gulp. He placed the now-empty flute back down on the tray and swiftly grabbed another.

Zoro was vaguely aware of all the chatting going on around him. The sound of Usopp and Luffy sharing stories and Nami doing whatever it was Nami did during fancy dinner parties. He meant what he said - he did have everything he needed to make it through this dinner inside these glasses. At least, that’s what he thought until the sound of a heel echoing off the step brought his attention to the top of the stairs.

He was sure the new flute with his latest drink was at his lips. Zoro inhaled the sharp scent of liqueur with every breath he took. He just couldn’t seem to make his elbow bend enough to drop it from his face.

You were making your way down the staircase, oblivious to the world around you as you came down with a hand carefully placed on the railing.

The dress you wore was covered in article flowers; all of their small bold colors were bright against the backdrop of black chiffon. The top of the dress left your shoulders exposed, and the style you’d chosen to wear your hair, with beads of pearls intricately placed within each strand, made you seem ethereal.

You looked like moonlight inside a garden; soft and wild and for the first time Zoro forgot that breathing was important.

Once you reached the last step, your eyes finally moved up from the safety of your feet. Zoro was vaguely aware the rim of the glass was still resting on his bottom lip, and that he’d yet to take a drink. He felt frozen - helpless - until your eyes found his rooted frame - helplessly waiting - and the smile that curved your lips brightened up the room.

It was in this second that he realized he was fucked, and the annoyance of that realization was enough for him to finally upend the glass in one large gulp.

——————

Zoro had looked at you for less than a millisecond before he’d upended the contents of his glass in one large gulp. His disinterest was evident enough throughout his entire body. With one last glance in your direction, he turned back to the waiting tray of glasses.

Well, that wasn’t the reaction you’d expected.

The disappointment scraped raw across your chest as you watched Zoro take up another glass. His gaze was steadfast at the wall as he downed whatever was inside. What felt more disappointing was the fact you’d cared.

For all intents and purposes, Zoro was an asshole. So, it begged the ever-present question: Why did it bother you so much?

Yes, you’d painstakingly gotten ready around the dress Kaya left inside your suite. Was it your usual taste? You weren’t all that sure, to be honest. It’s not like you’d ever been invited to any fancy dinner parties before. You weren’t sure if this was the proper form of dress or if you’d gone overboard with your hair.

At least Nami had a feather inside her hair and it looked as if she’d given her blood-orange hair some curls. She looked absolutely gorgeous and you made it your mission to tell her.

“Wow, Doc you look-“ Usopp began.

You turned beaming towards your friend as you waited for him to acknowledge your hard work. Maybe at least Usopp, of all people, would say something nice.

“Different.”

You could practically feel your smile deflate at the edges.

“What did you put in your hair?” Luffy asked around a mouthful of meat.

“Oh yeah, I was wondering what looked different. It’s the hair,” Usopp confirmed with Luffy.

The both of them smiled and nodded at one another as if they just solved world hunger. Your tongue rolled around your cheek as you debated on what to say. Maybe you’d expected to much out of a bunch of men.

“They’re pearls,” you huffed.

“That’s silly,” Luffy chuckled. “Why would you ever put pearls in your hair?”

“It’s to look nice.”

“I never knew hair needed accessories,” Usopp offered before taking a bit of his appetizer.

“Nami put a feather in her hair,” Luffy offered before taking another bite. “Maybe you guys can talk about putting random stuff in your hair.”

There was no way this conversation could be real, and yet…

Luffy was still wearing his genuine smile while he and Usopp continued to enjoy the appetizers Sham passed around. This evening was turning out to be the last time you’d ever consider wearing anything like this again. What was even worse was that out of the three of them, Zoro was the only one properly dressed.

While Usopp went with his usual no shirt underneath his jacket, Luffy was wearing just a petty coat and miraculously found dress slacks that didn’t even reach his ankle. They looked like their usual selves, just dressed in black.

But Zoro…

No! Absolutely not.

“I’ll go look for Nami so we can discuss…putting things in our hair.”

“That’s great! I’m sure it will make her happy. She seemed frustrated earlier when she asked for help.”

“I can’t imagine why,” you mumbled, as you turned to find Nami speaking to Merry.

Well, it looked like that was going to be a bust too. Man, she really did look very pretty, though. You were considering what your options were. You weren’t comfortable just injecting yourself into whatever conversation Nami and Merry were having, especially not when she was rubbing his arm like that.

Luckily for you, the sound of Klahadore announcing Kaya’s entrance kept you from having to go with your final option, which was to get a drink. Next to Zoro.

You all collectively turned to watch as Klahadore helped Kaya make her way down the stairs. You couldn’t help but smile up at her and her current choice of attire. While she’d made you look like a garden, you could only assume she was the sunshine that hovered above it. The only problem you had with the golden silk material was that it somehow made her sickly pale skin appear paler.

She must have picked the color in hopes it wouldn’t do that, but all it did was raise the alarm bells in the back of your mind. You’d allowed a pretty dress and a fancy meal to cloud the real reason you’d come in the first place. Instead of being a doctor, you were playing dress-up.

You were still scolding yourself when Kaya finally made it to the end of the staircase. Her smile was bright and happier than it had been in a long time, as she regarded Nami and the dress she’d chosen. It hadn’t even registered that any of the clothes you currently were wearing belonged to her deceased parents. You made a mental note to make sure to take extra special care not to ruin the dress with any droplets of food.

“Oh, Doc, I’m so glad I picked this,” Kaya breathed. “You look absolutely magical.”

You couldn’t help but look down at the dress again. It was an incredibly delicate dress. A work of art to be worn on the body. Maybe that was why you felt like such an imposter wearing it.

When you looked back at her, you tried to give Kaya a convincing smile. One you could even make yourself believe you felt worthy to have it on.

“Oh, Kaya you are too nice,” you replied, only for her to shoot you down with a wave of her hand.

“Nonsense. Usopp is always telling me about all the good you do for everyone. It’s time you let yourself be appreciated.”

Your earlier response to Kaya’s welcoming smile was one of your own, but at the mention of your supposed good deeds, you felt it tighten into a grimace.

It means nothing if I can’t even help you.

Up close, her color wasn’t pale - it was ashen. The whites of her eyes were devoured with a yellowish tint and -

Like the parasite he was, Klahadore was there pulling Kaya gently by her elbow to lead her back to the conversation between herself and Merry. Your eyes followed him as he made sure to plant her a few feet in front of you; her back excluding you from following to join.

Once he made sure she was safely away from you, Klahadore stationed himself a few feet away next to the penguin pillar at the base of the stairs. He thought he was sneaky and that he had stopped your trained eyes from being able to do a quick evaluation.

Unlucky for Klahadore you were quicker than he thought.

You were getting ready to head over to him when you caught Zoro walking back over to the tray. He was doing his usual of placing down an empty glass only to grab a fresh one, except this time he was talking. To Klahadore.

What a fucking liar!

You couldn’t think straight as you watched the exchange. The way Klahadore overplayed the flabbergasted victim. You didn’t have to be close to them to know what Zoro was asking him, because just like you’d suspected, he did seem familiar to Zoro.

It felt like you could breathe fire, you were so pissed.

At some point, Klahadore ended the conversation by interjecting himself into someone else’s conversation. You didn’t care what it was. They could’ve been discussing flying pigs for all you cared. Your eyes were still honed in on Zoro who regarded you for a split second before he sat back down in the parlor’s middle seat.

You started making your way towards him when Klahadore called out it was time to eat. You suddenly weren’t hungry.

Zoro must have sensed you coming for him because in one swift move, he was out of the seat and standing. The strap that held his katana’s back over his shoulder as he followed Sham behind the double doors.

“You son of a-“

“Doc!” Usopp whisper-shouted as he nervously took your hand in his. “Sit next to me. Please.”

You were still seeing metaphorical red. Your brain firing rapidly on only one main thought and that was to get a hold of Zoro and throttle him.

It wasn’t Usopp’s fault that Zoro was a dick, and he looked genuinely terrified. Stuffing your current bad mood as far down as you could muster (you were about to see said moss-haired reason for your fowl mood in t-minus two seconds), you planted on a smile and gently took Usopp’s hand.

“What kind of wingman would I be if I didn’t?”

“Oh, thank god,” he laughed.

The both of you followed closely behind Merry and the others as you were all escorted inside the dining room. Merry quickly took his seat at the end of the table, and you noticed rather quickly Zoro had claimed the seat closest to the door.

Without thinking, you took the seat beside him and motioned for Usopp to take the last one. The one directly beside Kaya. For a moment, Usopp looked at you wide-eyed and uncertain. You did your best to make him comfortable.

“You got this, Usopp,” you whispered. “Don’t overthink it.”

His response came in a small nod that did little to erase the terror that shined in his eyes. You gave his arm a light squeeze for reassurance before you straightened up in the chair. Glancing over, you watched as Zoro poured what looked like a freshly opened bottle of wine into a glass.

You waited patiently for him to finish and when he went to set the bottle down you made your move. With a slight lean to your right, you swiped your hand out to grab a hold of the glass. Zoro caught the movement too late, but you now had his full attention. His nostrils flaring the only indication that he was irritated by your sudden drink stealing.

Good.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He questioned.

His dark eyes never left your face as he waited for you to answer.

“Being petty.”

To bring the point home, you tilted the glass in his direction in a silent salute. You made sure he watched as you brought it to your lips and took a sip of the blood-red wine within.

Zoro’s jaw ticked in irritation as you gave him a devious smirk, and when Sham came by Zoro waved her over.

“I need a new glass.”

Now the smile that graced your lips was genuine and you made sure Zoro was aware of it. It was time to have a little fun of your own and that included hogging as much of his alcohol as humanly possible.

------------------------

As always, thank you for reading. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

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If I missed tagging anyone please let me know!

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yumeka-sxf · 8 months

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My thoughts on Spy x Family: EYES ONLY Guidebook (English ver) - part 1

I finished reading through my copy of the English version of the SxF manga guidebook "EYES ONLY." There's tons of fantastic information about the series, but I wanted to share my thoughts/commentary on parts that were the most interesting to me. Since there's so much content to cover, I'll be dividing it into a few different posts. Also, rather than go in the order of the book's sections, I decided to group the content based on topic. This first post will cover Endo's comments about the characters individually, as well as information about Garden.

Endo's Q&As and comments about the characters

Loid:

I like that Endo provides a reason for why Loid wears a WISE logo pin as it's something more than one fan of the series has questioned! And I totally agree with Lin about his "lack of distinctive features." Compared to so many other anime characters, especially shonen main characters, Loid's design is so plain, particularly in his hair and clothes. At least in his spy outfit he has a gun to make him a little flashier, but when he's in his casual clothes, he literally just looks like "some guy," haha. But that also makes sense for his character.

I love how Endo gave specific numbers for comparing Loid and Yor's strength (Yor: 10, Loid: 6-7)

Anya:

I did notice what Endo is talking about how Anya's design changed over time. But that can be said for all the characters really, and it's definitely not uncommon for manga-ka's styles to evolve as they get a better feel for their characters and world.

He mentions the classical language thing that was also brought up in chapter 42. Definitely makes me think that will somehow tie into her backstory.

Speaking of Anya's backstory, there was this little excerpt about the researchers at the lab. So one thing we can say for sure about her past is that she was not treated well there at all (which has been hinted at in the series).

Endo also discussed the origin of Anya's pink hair (namely, there really isn't any origin, lol).

Yor:

Interesting that he spent the most time designing Yor, and also about the origin of her stilettoes. And his apology to the cosplayers for that bonus feature about Yor's hair, haha.

I had to chuckle when he said they can't measure her strength because she keeps breaking the instruments! Also the fact that she hasn't learned how to make a single successful meal since the stew…Endo is such a savage sometimes, lol. But keep in mind that this book was originally published over a year ago, and obviously we know from recent chapters that her cooking is improving. I also like that he mentions that she has left witnesses to her work, like in Extra Mission 2. I wonder if that will be a bigger plot point somewhere down the line.

Like Anya having pink hair, Endo expresses some regret about making Yor an assassin (but his laugh makes it clear he's not terribly hung up about it!)

Bond:

I know some people are bothered by the fact that Yor is Bond's least favorite. But I think Bond's (initial) dislike for her originated from the chapter where he assumes he would have died from her cooking. Also the fact that Anya put the idea in his head that she would "murder" him if he did something she didn't like, like shun her food (which is obviously heavily exaggerated). But again, this book was published over a year ago, and the most recent chapter revealed that he definitely doesn't dislike her even if she's not his favorite. It's perfectly normal for pets to have family members they prefer over others for whatever reason.

Franky:

I love that Franky does charity work. I hope we'll see that in a future chapter.

Fiona:

It's interesting that he ranks Fiona's combat ability so low, especially when you consider what she did to Wheeler in the recent arc. But to me, that wasn't so much a display of combat prowess as it was totally raw, uninhibited willpower.

Yuri:

I love his blunt answer about whether Yuri has other interests besides Yor. Also intriguing that he mentions Nightfall when discussing Yuri's combat ability…maybe those two will meet eventually?

Information about Garden

Since Garden is still such a mysterious entity in the SxF universe, I tried to gather everything about them that the book mentions.

It's interesting that Yor sees Shopkeeper as her mentor since he taught her survival skills in her youth. The book also raises the question about how Yor found Garden in the first place…maybe something Endo will expand on in the future?

So the information Franky gives us about Garden is exaggerated? Gah, that just makes them even more mysterious!

The above was a cool bit of trivia...so it seems like the secret police might know more about Garden than WISE. Perhaps Yuri will find out about Yor's real identity before Twilight?

Continue to Part 2 ->

#spy x family #spy family #sxf #spyxfamily #loid forger #yor forger #anya forger #bond forger #yuri briar #franky franklin #fiona frost #sxf manga #sxf manga spoilers #sxf spoilers #tatsuya endo

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hana-no-seiiki · 3 months

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Interested in seeing Yun's A/B/O arc. I am very picky about my omegaverse content BUT. Idea: Alpha/Omega Batfam desperately wanting reader who is a beta, unbothered by their nonsense. They're gnawing on their enclosure as reader says, "The fuck is their problem???"

@sophiethewitch1 just to inflict more damage to your psyche 🩵

like it when you guys use my name so much huhu

YANDERE! A/B/O! BATFAM x BETA! READER

Beta Reader who is just unbothered and unwilling to care about the whole second gender hierarchy and just wants to get a normal job at Wayne Industries

But it’s literally impossible when they have Alpha! Dick as their childhood friend.

You should thank him really, he gave you a spot at your dream (totally) job. You should thank him for many things actually. You’re the only beta he ever told his hero identity to. He gave his whole heart and trust towards your irrelevant beta self. As such, you should be grateful that he asked you out right? Wrong.

Unfortunately, you were already in a relationship with Omega! Tim. Who you met after the death of your partner Beta! Jason. His omega tendencies and the fact that you were unable to fully take care of him as a mate saddened you, but sacrifices must be made for love right?

Omega! Tim who’s just so fucking obnoxious about bagging you. He leaves his scent all over your items. Warding off Alpha! Damian who had been crushing on you since forever.

Alpha! Damian who kept bullying you for being a Beta up until that fateful day Batman suddenly died(disappeared), and you were the only one that stepped up to comfort him. Sure, you didn’t know he was your tormentor (God was he thankful you couldn’t smell his arousal and pheromones going haywire when you hugged him) but you were the only person he felt safe being so vulnerable with. So un-alpha like with. You knew who Nightwing was right? You must know who he was and cared for him eitherway.

Beta! Jason who comes back with a vengeance. Cursing Joker for separating you two. Who hated you for being a beta even though he was one himself, but learnt to love you and eventually his second gender. Whose first coherent thought was to return to his mate, but is heartbroken upon the sight of his replacement.

Alpha! Batman who lurks within the shadows. He knows of his children’s obsessions, he knows you’re the final piece needed for his gamble to succeed.

You who’s unknowingly walking into the jaws of the most unhinged men on Gotham.

….

… Captured! Beta Reader who wakes up to the leering eyes of the Dark Knight. Scalpel in hand.

“It’s time to fix you.”

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere imagine #yandere fic #yandere core #yandere batfam #batfam #batfam x reader #yandere batfam x reader #damian wayne x reader #tim drake x reader #jason todd x reader #dick grayson x reader #bruce wayne x reader #dc x reader #abo #omegaverse

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lakesbian · 5 months

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attention everyone we have reached my personal favorite Line in worm

I stepped toward Sundancer and offered a hand to help her up. She flinched away. Oh. My hands were bloody. I dropped the offered hand to my side. “Let’s go,” I suggested.

there are a lot of good Lines in worm, and while i will acknowledge that many of them are sort of objectively more powerful culminating moments than this one, this one is still My Personal Favorite. Oh. My hands were bloody.

it's been obvious through the early arcs that taylor has a lot of repressed anger: she beats the shit out of rachel, even after being bitten. she outright admits to the other undersiders that she hasn't taken subtle revenge on the trio at school because she's afraid she would take it too far/it would obviously be her. she is, initially, unnerved by violence: she's a bit scared by the gun present in the loft, it creeps her out that brian knows every way to break a person's body, she feels guilt about the idea of any civilians being hurt during the bank robbery. but she still beat up rachel, and she still shoves bugs up the wards' noses during the robbery, and she still gleefully rides rachel's dog and laughs and hollers from the joy and the adrenaline rush of victory afterwards.

the expression of this repressed anger thru violence escalates further when her concussion leads her to slapping emma in the mall. in the principal's office, when it's clear that nothing she or her dad says will garner help with the bullying, she shouts and slaps papers off the table and asks what would happen if she brought a knife to school. after she and her dad leave the meeting, she calls lisa:

“Hey. How did it go?” I couldn’t find the words for a reply. “That bad?” “Yeah.” “What do you need?” “I want to hit someone.”

lisa invites her to a raid on the ABB so she can do that, and it's soo. Sooo Very. to watch how she cuts loose on it. she's so angry rachel notices it in how she's standing, and she's still confused about how rachel noticed. she's a confident leader when the fight goes crisis mode, she responds to rachel bucking against her orders by consistently shouting at rachel to "NOT fuck with me right now," she acts nigh-suicidally aggressive during her fight with lung, and she snarls "don't fucking underestimate me" when she takes him out using a caterpillar dipped in newter's blood.

all of this happens in relatively subtle increments. she doesn't notice how she progressively becomes comfortable expressing herself and taking charge instead of withdrawing or acting insecurely during the course of the mission. she doesn't notice that she's not horrified by dealing with newter's wound or seeing the sniper's broken leg. back in unmasked society, she was forced to consider how many of her aggressive actions were the result of the concussion loosening her impulse control--here, she repeatedly yells at bitch without a second thought. it's a place where her violence and anger isn't only acceptable but necessary. the circumstances normalize her outbursts and comfort with violence to her, leaving her blind to how alienated and dissociated and repressed and traumatized and furious and just Fucked Up she has to be to face down lung and then dig his eyes out.

when she says that she "doesn't believe in eye for an eye," in arc 4 alec asks her why the fuck she's a supervillain. his implicit assertion is clear: being a villain is, for him, about taking your revenge for being hurt out on whoever you can manage or justify, even if they're not the person who originally hurt you. and taylor thinks she's not doing that. but hey: she goes beyond just "hitting someone" and into literally taking lung's eyes as a culmination of the cathartic violence she's been engaging in as recompense for how she was mistreated earlier.

and the person who serves as a more "normal" reference point for how far taylor just escalated is sundancer: horrified by the idea of having to use her sun to hurt people, shocked by how casually violent taylor has been, flinching away from taylor when she turns to sundancer after committing that violence & tries to offer sundancer help.

because, oh. her hands are bloody. she hadn't even noticed how bloody they were getting, but they are.

deeply evocative one-line reminder of how taylor has changed in these first five arcs, without even noticing. and the best part is that, while the imagery of "oh. my hands were bloody" does convey that change in an incredibly brief and powerful way, the fact that taylor is saying it still means even she hasn't really realized. she thinks it's mainly just about the superficial, literal blood on her hands, and not the metaphorical blood on her hands that sundancer is disturbed by. it's good.

#wormtime 2 #wormtime 2 arc 5 #wormblr #parahumans

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artbyblastweave · 8 months

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I think about Star Wars a lot more than I post about Star Wars, and I've had some free time recently to type up some thoughts on Episode 7 that've been swirling around in my head for a couple of years. There were a few ideas and plot beats, and moments of apparent self-examination in Episode 7 which I thought were fairly compelling, even though they ultimately paid no dividends:

First was Finn’s character concept. “Star Wars as experienced from the perspective of a Stormtrooper undergoing a crisis of faith” is a rich hook; humanizing and giving a face to what's basically the platonic implementation of the faceless mook. Unfortunately, the potency of the arc was undercut by the pre-existing textual ambiguity as to what stormtroopers actually are. Star Wars extended canon has settled on the idea that each trilogy features an entirely novel cohort of white-clad mooks, each with a fundamentally different underlying dynamic. The clones and the First-Order forces are different flavors of slave army; in contrast, the stormtroopers are more frequently portrayed in the expanded universe as military careerists, stormtrooper being a thing you work up to rather than a gig for a fresh conscript. A slave-soldier who defects is a very different character from a military careerist who defects, and they invite different analysis. There's a bait-and-switch going on here, in that Finn gestures in the direction of the familiar OT stormtroopers but can't comment on or examine them because he's actually part of a novel dynamic invented for the new movies. And there's one final nail in the coffin here, signaled by the number of times I've had to invoke the expanded universe so far. When Finn debuted, the racists were of course, legion, but I also ran into a number of people who were sincerely confused as to why they'd recast Temuera Morrison. Going off the seven films that existed at the time, it wasn't unreasonable to read the prequel trilogy as an origin story for where the OT stormtroopers came from. Going only off the nine films that exist now, it still isn't unreasonable! It's muddied from so many different directions by their failure to establish the ground rules in the mainline films before they tried to put on subversive airs about it. I am still irritated by this.

Next up is how Han Solo was written. I actually liked the tack they took with him quite a bit. Because initially, right, his role in the movie is just to be Han Solo. He's back, and he hasn't changed! He's still kicking ass and taking names, he's still the lovable scoundrel you knew and loved from your childhood- and the principle cast members react to his presence with the same reverence the film's trying to invoke in the audience, they've grown up hearing the same stories about him. Except that episode 7, at least, is also very aware of the fact that if Han Solo is still recognizably the same guy thirty years on, it indicates that things have gone totally off the rails for him. We find out that the lovable rogue routine is the result of him backsliding, his happy ending blown up by massive personal tragedy rooted in communicative failures and (implicitly) his parental shortcomings. It feels deliberately in conversation with the nostalgic impulse driving the entire film- here's your childhood hero back just as you remember, here's what that stagnation costs. And it also feels like it's in conversation with what was a fairly common strain of Han Solo Take- the idea that Ep. 6 cuts off at a very convenient point, and that Han and Leia's fly-by-night wartime relationship wouldn't survive the rigors of domesticity. Obviously, that's not the only direction you can take with the character; the old EU basically threaded the needle of keeping Han recognizable without rolling back his character development gains. But it felt like they were actually committing to a direction, a direction that was aware of the space, and not a reflexively deferential and flattering one, which at the time I appreciated! The problem, of course, is that for it to really land, you need to have a really, really strong idea of what actually went down-of what Han's specific shortcomings and failures were. And given the game of ping-pong they proceeded to play with Kylo Ren's characterization, this turned out to be. Less than doable.

Kylo Ren is the third thing about Episode 7 that I liked. His character concept is basically an extended admission by the filmmakers that there's no way to top Vader as an antagonist. Instead, they lean into the opposite direction- they make him underwhelming on purpose. Someone who's chasing Vader's legacy in the same way any post-OT Star Wars villain is going to, pursuing Vader's aesthetic and the associated power without really understanding or undergoing the convoluted web of suffering and dysfunction that produced Vader. It's framed as a genuine twist that there's nothing particularly wrong with his face under that helmet. Whatever it takes to be Vader, he doesn't have it, and he knows that he doesn't have it, and the pursuit of it drives him to greater and greater acts of cartoonish villainy. The failure to one-up Vader is offloaded to the character instead of the writers, and it was genuinely interesting to watch. For one movie. The problem, of course, is that if the entire character archetype is "Vader, but less compelling," you can't try to give the bastard Vader's exact character arc. You can't retroactively bolt on a Vader-tier tragic backstory when you spent a whole movie signaling that whatever happened to him wasn't as compelling as what happened to Vader. You can't milk his angst for two more movies when it's the kind of angst on display in "Rocking the Suburbs" by Ben Folds!

There's a level on which I feel like Moff Gideon was a semi-successful implementation of Vader-Wannabe concept; he's the same kind of middling operator courting the Vader Aesthetic for clout, but he's doing it in the context of the imperial warlord era, where there's a lot of practical power available to anyone who can paint themselves to the Imperial Remnants as a plausible successor to Vader. Hand in Hand with this obvious politicking, Gideon is loathsome, which relieves the writers of the burden of having to plausibly redeem the guy; he's doing exactly what he needs to do and there'll never be a mandate to expand him beyond what his characterization can support. Unfortunately, the calculated and cynical nature of how he's emulating Vader precludes the immaturity and hero-worship elements on display with Kylo, which is unfortunate; the sincerity on display in Kylo's pursuit of authenticity is an important part of why he worked, to the extent that he worked at all, and it'd be worth unpacking in a better trilogy. As he stands Kylo is a clever idea, and that's all he is- he lacks the scaffolding to go from merely clever to actively good.

#and these are my unsolicited star wars thoughts #thoughts #meta #star wars #star wars sequel trilogy #kylo ren #moff gideon #han solo #star wars finn #star wars meta #sw sequels #the force awakens #analysis

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buckttommy · 2 months

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recontextualizing this story through the lens of buck/eddie and what it means for them, is like. it's so interesting because recently, i got an anon that asked me (paraphrasing) if i thought 9-1-1 would actually "go there" with buck and eddie as individuals, and that three main characters discovering their queerness would be "too much" for the general audience. and, like, not withstanding that it's actually true to life — that queer people can and do naturally gravitate toward each other even when we aren't out / passing / aware of our sexualities at the time — it's also just like. the belief (or disbelief) that 911 wouldn't "go there" with their stories also comes with this inherent assumption that there's only one way to tell a queer discovery story.

like. when michael came out in season 1, he was already at the end of his journey. he had already walked through the self-hate and forced closeting and came out on the other side to self acceptance. when we meet michael, he is a queer man, a gay man (because the word is important), who has already stepped into self actualization and is ready to live his truth. this is not the story 911 is telling with buck.

and then with eddie, you have this character that is introduced with the idea of being perfect, as ryan said, of having it all together, only for the audience to realize he's not. only for the audience to realize that he's broken and cracked on the inside and that a lot of it stems from war. but most of it? most of it doesn't. most of it stems from his father, and from how he was raised. raised to shut it down, to swallow things whole even if they hurt, even if they make him bleed. he was told to keep it all quiet, repress repress repress. and so. i know this is an unpopular opinion, but to that end, i don't think an explicit queer discovery storyline is necessary for him, in the sense that, subtextually, i think it's already happened. season 5 was very much eddie's unrepression arc. we dug deep into the things that make eddie diaz, eddie diaz. and a lot of that was war. violence. chaos."warzones are my thing." but if that was all that his arc was meant to be, why have it end with a conversation with his father? they could have played that arc out in so many different ways.

for one, they could have had mills still be alive. they could have had her and eddie reconnect. they could have had her and eddie have a conversation where she shoulders some of the weight that eddie's been putting on himself and have him settle into the peace of the realization that he's not alone in this specific thing, that he never has been, that other people survived what he did and that he can find solace in them. but the writers didn't do that. they took it back to his childhood, to the root of where eddie diaz began and they said, this is where you need to go. this is what you need to address before you can heal and move on. so that conversation with his dad that culminated in him choosing wellness, in him choosing happiness, in him choosing safety in his body for himself has very much always read to me as queer acceptance even if not explicit (due to the assumed barriers that were placed on that story at the time).

eddie has always been with women, eddie has always liked being with women, so i'd be shocked if he's ever even thought about the nuances of his sexuality. but his unrepression in season 5, to me, has always made him open to the possibility of falling into whatever comes next, whatever that looks like.

this is also not the story they're telling with buck.

(as a side note, i'd just like to say that queer subtext is still queer existence. subtext is how our stories have been told for generations, well before we were able to take up space on the page, and subtext is still a wholly valid and beautiful way of telling a queer story. please don't forget that).

so then, finally, we get to buck, and he's so very new at this. so very green he may as well be a blade of grass on a country club golf course. and so, despite the fact that there have already been two queer storylines prior, this is the first time in 9-1-1 (and tv!) history, that we have ever gotten to see an unplanned queer character discover who he is at this intimate, detailed level. we get to see buck's story unfold in real time, we get to learn about who this actualized version of himself is, as he is realizing it, and we get to know and dissect the layers and nuances, the ebbs and flows of his sexuality as he's taking himself apart and seeing what's underneath.

friends. this is the story they've always needed to tell.

and so, when i think about buck and eddie, and i think about their progression toward a romantic relationship and what that would look like, realistically and in the eyes of the audience, buck has really always been the missing key. we've talked about it before — who he is, who he was, has in no way been ready for eddie on multiple levels. whether it was because of his insecurity, his lack of place in the world, etc, buck has always been (for lack of a better word) too immature for eddie. eddie is a single father. he doesn't have time to play games, and though he will always love and reassure buck when he needs it, he doesn't have time to heal buck for him. nor should he. so buck was the only one who canonically, canonically, needed to be yanked from point a to point z.

and. it's like everyone's said, even before the season began — buck has been on a hamster wheel, buck has been stuck in a rut, yadda yadda yadda, which means that, as far as the audience was concerned, what always was for buck (women) is what always would have been. and there was nothing in canon, nothing concrete to disprove them from believing so. so we needed him to fall into something, not just radical, but sometime new.

and when i think about buck, and when i think about eddie, and when i think about their stories both as individuals and together, buck has, realistically, been the only real stopping point. at least with eddie, when the time is right and buck/eddie go canon, we, the audience, can go back in time and we can look at the way he came into himself and settled into his identity as a person, as a man, and say, like, oh okay, this is the moment. you know? we don't need the writers to take our hands and guide us through the same processes buck is experiencing because eddie's already had his ah moment, he's already experienced the moment where he decides that his life and his needs and his joy and his liberation are just as beautiful and valuable and worthy like everyone else's.

so when people ask, like, "would 9-1-1 really go there with three queer discovery arcs?" it's just like. well yes. they already have. we've already there. in fact, we're well into the third and final act. buck, eddie, and the audience, are almost ready — as in, actively ready — for each other. and yes, sure, even after the meat of this arc has passed, there will still be some things buck and eddie need to learn — specifically, they will need to learn that, not only do they have feelings for each other, but that feelings for each other is actually an option — but. for all intents and purposes, this is the crescendo before the final chord. this is it. and the thought that we've been here, that we've witnessed these three beautiful queer storylines unfold with these three beautiful characters (two of which are gentle, loving, present men of color) makes me entirely too emotional for words. tbh.

#what 9-1-1 is doing ... what they have done — despite this long ass post — it goes beyond articulation. it really does.#to comprehend that we are standing on the precipice of something so uniquely raw and life-changing in the way queer stories are told — it #doesn't get much better...more surreal than this. i know it's been said but the level of care and intention that has gone into telling these #stories is in itself a rarity. and the fact that we get to witness it — that we get to spend this time together — with a cast and crew that #loves these stories and loves these characters as much if not more than we do? its powerful as hell. what a surreal experience this has been #thinking many thoughts and crying many tears #tv: 911 #jack.txt #meta #long post

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saintsenara · 5 months

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What is your rationale for disagreeing with the fanon that the horcruxes affected Voldemort's sanity?

that it's literally canon that they don't!

i obviously don't have an actual problem with people using the idea that the horcruxes affect voldemort's sanity as a trope, if that's what works for their story, but what irks me is that this idea is often repeated by voldemort enjoyers as canon fact, when the impact of horcruxes on cognitive function is spelled out clearly in half-blood prince:

Harry sat in thought for a moment, then asked, “So if all of his Horcruxes are destroyed, Voldemort could be killed?” “Yes, I think so,” said Dumbledore. “Without his Horcruxes, Voldemort will be a mortal man with a maimed and diminished soul. Never forget, though, that while his soul may be damaged beyond repair, his brain and his magical powers remain intact. It will take uncommon skill and power to kill a wizard like Voldemort even without his Horcruxes.”

in half-blood prince - as in every book prior to deathly hallows - dumbledore functions as the "word of god" character, which is to say that the information he provides us - as long as it relates neither to harry nor himself - isn't up for interpretation, it's understood within the narrative as correct. we can also be sure that he's done his research on horcruxes, knows exactly how they work, and is speaking as an expert when it comes to their impact on the mind - and we can also note that slughorn [who also seems to know what he's talking about when it comes to horcruxes and their function] doesn't mention them causing any cognitive damage when discussing them with the teenage tom riddle.

but nobody has ever made as many horcruxes as voldemort! maybe one doesn't affect the mind, but seven certainly could.

except this doesn't align at all with how the series understands the relationship between the soul and the will.

one of the central themes of the harry potter series is the value of choice. all of its main characters have narrative arcs which hinge - in some way or other - on them making a choice, very often the choice between what is right and what is easy. ron chooses to leave and then chooses to come back; hermione chooses to stay. sirius chooses to take a stand against the life his family expect of him. snape chooses to repent of his sins and work forever to atone for them. harry chooses to walk into the forest and die. lily chooses to ignore voldemort's request for her to stand aside.

all of these choices are made of the character in question's own free will - and the same applies to everything voldemort does in the series. he chooses to kill and to keep killing of his own free will, with the full capacity to understand his actions, and he refuses, right until the very end, to show the slightest bit of remorse for what he's done - and it is this, in the narrative's view, which makes his behaviour so heinous and which causes his behaviour to have such an impact on the state of his soul.

if we assume that voldemort's grasp on rationality declines with the number of horcruxes he makes, we are also assuming that his capacity to understand the full wickedness of his actions also declines - but his motivation for killing myrtle to make a horcrux and his motivation for killing frank bryce to make a horcrux are exactly the same: he wants to, and he doesn't give a solitary fuck about the life he's just taken.

and this stands in contrast to something else we see in canon - the idea that killing does not automatically have an impact on the soul:

“And my soul, Dumbledore? Mine?” “You alone know whether it will harm your soul to help an old man avoid pain and humiliation,” said Dumbledore.

this - the set-up to snape's mercy-killing of dumbledore - suggests that your soul is not harmed if you know without question that the death you cause is justified.

snape kills dumbledore of his own free will, but this suggestion also implies that it would be perfectly possible for the soul to remain unharmed if a killer was understood to be non compos mentis. that is, if someone lacked the capacity to understand their actions were not justified, then their soul would see them as "not guilty by reason of insanity" and not splinter.

voldemort's ability to make so many horcruxes in the first place, then, must depend on his capacity to understand exactly what he's doing - to know he could choose not to kill and then still do it anyway.

and we do actually see in canon that - while he's shown to be someone who kills with the slightest provocation in the films - the voldemort of the books is clinical and methodical in his violence:

“Nice costume, mister!” He saw the small boy’s smile falter as he ran near enough to see beneath the hood of the cloak, saw the fear cloud his painted face: Then the child turned and ran away... Beneath the robe he fingered the handle of his wand... One simple movement and the child would never reach his mother... but unnecessary, quite unnecessary...

the canonical voldemort's known kill count is actually surprisingly low, and each of his victims is clearly selected with a rational [in the "does he have a disorder of thought?" sense, not in the "is this morally justifiable?" sense] motivation driving his decision to attack them - even if his actions are also affected by an emotional trigger [he does not, for example, kill his father or massacre the goblins who tell him that the cup was stolen for reasons which are irrational or delusional - incandescent fury or fear that your secret is out are not insanity].

voldemort kills and makes his horcruxes out of choice, and the series is clear that his capacity to understand that choice does not degrade across the course of his life.

ok, but you have to admit that he's definitely not... all there, personality wise...

sure. but i don't think this has anything to do with the horcruxes...

the idea that voldemort runs around shrieking and cackling to himself is an invention of the films. the canonical voldemort is shown to be lucid and thoughtful even in deathly hallows, he remains a formidable strategist right up until the end - and i think it's also worth noting that the films really gloss over just how successful his takeover of the government is - and his prodigious intellect and magical talent are acknowledged by the order throughout the series.

his more volatile personality traits - his fondness for monologuing, his rapid switching between being superficially charming and feral, his tendency to get lost in his own obsessions, his emotional brittleness - are all ones the eleven-year-old riddle is shown to possess, and i think it's much more interesting to explore the idea that they remain aspects of the person he once was which the adult voldemort cannot hide behind the mask he has constructed.

but - yes - its certainly true that the resurrected voldemort of order of the phoenix onwards is more paranoid, harder to soothe, crueller to his death eaters, more inflexible in his thinking and so on than he is implied to have been in the 1970s, and so i understand why many readers interpret this as evidence that his last two horcruxes [harry and nagini] - plus the arcane horror of his resurrection ritual - might have sent him round the bend.

but i think that the implication of canon is that this behaviour has much more mundane causes.

in october 1981, all the evidence we have is that voldemort is about to win. he is an unassailable terrorist kingpin with an army of highly-trained, highly loyal minions and - we can assume - widespread popular support.

and then only four of these supporters try to find him.

it's clear - as we can tell from the fact that barty crouch jr. is so shocked to discover that he didn't massacre the reassembled death eaters where they stood - that voldemort is livid that none of his "loyal" servants came to rescue him from the tree in albania his soul piece was hiding in, choosing instead to pretend they were under the imperius curse and that they'd never have been seen dead supporting him had they been in their right minds. it's also clear that he has no choice but to welcome these death eaters back to the fold once he's resurrected because he'd have no core supporters otherwise.

but it's also clear that he doesn't trust any of them one single bit once their commitment is proven to be so fragile - and that it is this, this evidence that he's just a human being with human feelings, rather than a creature of pure magic whose mind has been warped by that magic, which provides a much, much more interesting explanation for his increasing volatility as the war draws to its conclusion.

voldemort is at his most interesting - in my opinion - when his humanity [and his failure to outrun it] is foregrounded. this isn't incompatible with his creation of the horcruxes at all. but it is, i think, incompatible with the idea that they warp his mind.

#asks answered #asenora meta #tom riddle #lord voldemort

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