#i know...it's not super...in line with what matt said but it's my brain and i picture the outfits how i want

[filmtv2022]

“Together” Part 3 (Final Part)

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All Works Masterlist

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Reader

Summary: Jake & Y/N face her brother's funeral together. They finally realize the true depth of their feelings for one another. 

Warnings: Smut + language + part of the story takes place at a funeral reception

A/N: So first of all, I yet again apologize for the super long break between posts. Life has been pretty crazy. I'm now currently on the mend from a rough bout of covid, but thankfully I felt good enough to write today. With that being said, I'm so sorry for any editing mistakes, my brain fog is rough right now. With that being said, I hope you enjoy the final part of the "Together" mini-series!

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A constant buzz of white noise filled your ears as people continued the awkward shuffle of condolences. They meant well, but what could they possibly have to say that would take the edge off the pain? The funeral had been everything your brother deserved, but that neatly folded flag could never replace him. This wasn’t how life was supposed to be. Matt was supposed to get married and start a family of his own, but now those dreams were turned to ash. Their embers burned hot against your soul as you waited for this horrific moment in time to be over. 

Unable to take any more weepy hugs, you finally excused yourself from the reception hall, choosing instead to wander quietly through the hallways. The early evening sun poured in through the stained glass that lined the space painting a wash of red and blue across the carpet. Reaching the first set of swinging doors into the nave, you pushed gently into the space, and the hinges creaked lightly with the pressure of your touch. The high vaulted ceilings fell into shadow as the lights remained off, but even in the dimness, you could see the strong frame that was seated at the front of the pews. 

Keeping silent, you made your way toward Jake, the sound of your footsteps echoed slightly as you moved. Closing the last few paces, the tension in his body was apparent in the way his dress whites pulled tightly over his back, his head in his hands as he tried to piece himself back together. Reaching the front pew, you found the spot to his right and took it, allowing yourself to lean into his side. Acknowledging your presence, Jake lifted his head from his hands, revealing the dampness that sat on his cheeks, though his eyes remained focused on the cross hanging at the front. Needing to feel you, to be closer to you, Jake weaved your fingers together before bringing them to his lips. Placing a soft kiss on the back of your hand, he exhaled deeply before gaining the courage to speak. 

“You know what he said to me the last time we saw each other?” Jake’s voice was hoarse as he broke the silence, but you were thankful for the sound of it nonetheless.

“Tell me.” Your own words were soft as they brushed along the fabric of his uniform.

“It was our last day flying together before we were reassigned to our new squadrons. We’d finished our runs and I’d been flying out of my mind, hitting maneuvers perfectly, one right after the other, but I was reckless. I was just one mistake away from ending my career or someone else’s, but I couldn’t see that, not then. But he saw it, that foolish pride… nothing ever slipped past him.” 

“Trust me, I know. I never got away with shit as a kid.” 

Jake huffed a small laugh at the shared memory of Matt’s astute gaze and superior moral compass. His wingman’s heart never faltered, even in the face of great peril, “He laid into me in front of God and everybody. I’d never seen him so angry. He told me I needed to figure out who the hell I was fighting to come home to because if I didn’t I was gonna die in that plane, all alone with no one to care when they brought my body back.”

“He said that to you? Jesus Christ, Jake. I’m sorry he-.” 

“Don’t be, he was right. He was always right. It just took me way to fucking long to figure out what the hell he was actually talking about.” Jake twisted his upper body in your direction, forcing you to lift your head from his shoulder. His strong hands found a home on your body as he anchored himself to you. The feeling of him left you breathless, your vision narrowing to only the man in front of you. 

“He was talking about you. I didn’t get it then, I was too young and stupid to realize. He saw it though, he saw us, the two of us. Together.” Jake’s breath rattled as he inhaled deeply, “I love you, I always have. I was just too big of a dumbass to figure it out sooner.”  

“Jake.” Holding fast to him, you kept your eyes fixed on his. There was such great sorrow and pain within their depths, and yet there was unmistakable hope, “You’re not the only one who can be a bit thick sometimes.” 

The two of you shared a smile at the mutual confession of your feelings and your failings. Leaning further into your space Jake captured your lips in a gentle embrace, the sensation of your uniform under his figure tips was intoxicating. Breaking the kiss, Jake rested his forehead on yours as he breathed in the scent of your sweet perfume, his own tears now flowing harder than before. Feeling his body begin to shake, you wrapped your arms around him and pulled tight. With your face tucked into his neck, you allowed yourself to fall apart together. And there you stayed, mourning the loss of a brother and wingman. 

The rest of the evening sun faded away beneath the horizon leaving the nave in murky darkness, only the light from the outer hallway added any illumination. Sensing the shift, Jake broke and stood to his full height, taking you by the hand as he moved. Holding each other close, with laced fingers the two of you made your way back to the reception in silence. There were still a fair amount of people gathered around the tables nibbling at food as they reminisced. 

Sitting around a circular white table across the room was the rest of your family. Their eyes were fixed on the steaming styrofoam cups in front of them. It took only seconds to cross the space, but it felt as though it took hours. All eyes snapped to you and Jake, your polished uniforms like a beacon of strength and sorrow. 

“Y/N, Jake.” your mother stood, pulling each of you into vigorous hugs. Her black dress seemed to hang from her slight frame as she dabbed away the tears that threatened to spill. 

“Ma’am, I’m so sorry for your loss.” 

“Thank you, but Jake… this is your loss too. Matt spoke highly of you the entire time you flew together. He… he thought the world of you.” 

Jake’s throat bobbed as he tried to find his words, but they never came. Instead, he leaned down to hold your mother. The hug lasted mere seconds, but when he moved back to wrap his arm around your waist it was as if you could see the healing begin. Wiping over his mouth with his hand, Jake leaned down and placed a kiss on your temple. 

“Why don’t the two of you take off, hm? We’re gonna be awhile and you both have done more than enough today.” 

“Are you sure, Mom?”

“Yes, I’m sure. Now go.” her warm smile failed to reach her eyes, but there was such sincerity in her words. 

“Thanks.” 

Turning from you, her focus snapped to Jake once more, “You get her home safe, okay?” 

“Yes, Ma’am.” Leaning down to hug your mother one more time, you watched as she whispered something softly into his ear. A quick nod of his head accompanied the silent words. 

…

Back at home, the quiet was deafening. The plush carpet muffled each step as the two of you made your way downstairs to the guestroom. Frigid air filled the finished basement causing you to shiver as you began to unbutton the front of your uniform. 

“Here, let me.” 

Turning you around gently, Jake’s sure hands made quick work of the task. His lips brushed lovingly from the shell of your ear to the base of your throat as he pushed the jacket from your shoulders. Needing more, you wrapped your arms around his neck as you removed his hat before threading your fingers into his hair. Slowly, but surely, the pair of you removed the barriers between you. Hands and lips explored the freshly exposed skin. 

Jake’s body shuddered as you nipped lightly along the broad expanse of his chest, soothing over the marks with your tongue. Caught up in the feeling of your skin on his, Jake found himself lowering to the ground before you. Mouthing at your body as he went. Paying attention to every scar and bump left behind by the grueling demands of your job, each one a sign that you were here despite the many attempts the world had taken to tear you away from him. Running his hands along the back of your thighs, he stood once more, pulling you off the ground with him. 

Wrapping your legs around his waist, you returned your attention to his lips. Pleading for more, you ran your tongue along his before taking his lower lip between your teeth. Gently, you pulled it earning a hiss and groan from him before he crashed back into the kiss. Walking you back into the door, it slammed shut with the force of his actions. The two of you lasted like this for a few minutes more, but desperation filled the air as the two of you continued to fall into the moment. 

Unable to maintain his patience, Jake fixed his grip on you before turning to find the bed. Feeling the edge of the bed against his knees, he lowered you to the mattress. Breaking apart, Jake guided you back onto the bed, the cotton of the bedspread soft beneath you. 

“Jake.” Your words failed you, but that didn’t matter because he was already there, reading your body like an open book. 

“I’m right here, sweetheart.” 

Sliding his hand along your side, he trapped your wrist above your head, leaving the other free. Chest to chest you breathed in the scent of his cologne as rolled his hips into yours. A sharp gasp fell from you, your lips grazing his as your head tipped back into the pillow. 

“I need you.” Jake rasped into your ear and she reached between you coaxing yet another moan from you as his fingers found their mark. 

“Fuck, Jake… please.” 

Your permission opened the floodgates. Dipping lower Jake coated his fingers with your slick, teasing your mercilessly until he could feel the muscles in your legs begin to tighten. Knowing you were close he removed his hands from your body, earning a pitiful whimper from you at the loss of his touch. 

“I know, baby.”  

Carefully, he leaned over the edge of the bed, fishing inside his bag for a condom. It took only a few seconds for him to locate what he needed, his eyes falling back to you as he tore it open and prepared himself. Turning back to you he placed tender kisses over your stomach and chest before returning to your lips. There was no real space left between you, but it wasn’t enough, you needed to be closer. Reaching for the hand that still rested above your head, he laced his fingers through yours as he pushed inside, removing the remaining distance between you. A deep groan fell from his lips as he relished the feeling of you wrapped around him.

Slowly, Jake began to move, his focus entirely on you. The way your breath hitched, the sound of your moans as they tumbled from your lips, the touch of your skin as your bodies moved together. Once more he felt the changes in you as he pulled you closer to the edge. Fighting for control of himself, Jake continued to focus on you, wanting nothing more than to stay like this forever, lost in this peace that he found with you. 

Time stood still as the flood of your release washed over you. Jake’s hips began to stutter, his pace faltering as he too tumbled over the edge. Totally, and completely, spent, Jake rested his weight on his forearms next to your head. Brushing the strands of hair stuck to your forehead behind your ear, his eyes fell on yours. Even in the shadowy light of the guestroom, it was easy to see the love in his eyes. The corners scrunch softly forming light lines. Those lines were a permanent reminder of the years that had passed since the two of you first met. 

“I love you, Jake.” your warm breath floated over his cheeks as the stared deep into your eyes, your soul laid bare for him and him alone. 

“I love you too, Y/N.” 

Feeling his arms grow weak from dropping adrenaline, Jake rolled onto his side taking you with him. Sure that you were safely laying on your side, he gingerly pulled himself from you. It took a few minutes for him to clean the two of you up, but Jake returned to his spot in the bed as quickly as he could. The warmth radiating from the two of you was more than enough initially to fend off the chill of the air, but as your heart rates returned to normal goosebumps began to spread across your skin. A shiver ran down your spine from the temperature change. Shifting under the covers, he drew you in close, his hand resting just under your breast as his front fell flush with your back. Inhaling deeply, your breaths began to fall in sync with one another, the two of you drifting off to sleep in the comfort of each other’s arms. This was the beginning of a whole new world, one where the pair of you would finally allow yourself to feel the happiness of time spent in one another arms. A world where you realized that you were stronger together than you ever could hope to be apart. 

#top gun maverick #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman x y/n #jake hangman smut #hangman x reader #hangman smut

[hotchfiles]

No need to answer them all, of course but 🎱🍓🔪❄️🏜️🧩!!!

matt i have an adhd brain and it took me a while to remember what this was but I LOVE YOU FOR THIS

writers truth or dare !

🎱 ⇢ post your AO3 total stats 

i'm not a super ao3 user but

is this it?

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

i was in love with sasuke and wanted him to kiss me. also gerard way and tom fletcher. it happened at the same time pretty much.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

weirdest? i don't know, recently for hotch fics i research a lot of stuff for accuracy, like, the distance from dc to quantico, what units are actually at quantico alongside the bau, a lot of real b.a.u cases too because rossi and gideon were based off the two real founders.

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

I DONT KNOW WHO BUT SOMEONE NEEDS TO WRITE FBI ACADEMY!SPENCER X READER AND GRADSTUDENT!SPENCER X ETHAN X READER

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

i like when people notice little things, like, when they say they liked a line hotch said, or something hotch did !!! or some detail i added !!!

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

daddy kink and degradation. just not my vibe.

[sgt-farron]

but its like so extra sad because in that moment, from Imogen's perspective, Laudna did lie. From the way that Imogen has asked more than once "is she talking to you?" it implies that while Laudna 'hears' Delilah in her head, what's happening isn't really on a mental level and Imogen isn't able to hear Delilah/sense her presence. So everything that Imogen knows of Delilah, of her 'existence' would have come from what Laudna has said and up until now, Imogen would have had no inclination to question it because Laudna's thoughts always matched her actions, Laudna didn't lie like everyone else.

She wasn't thinking rationally in that moment. She was under the corrupting influence of that stone; a stone that exudes warmth and intoxicating comfort, that twist the mind into you keeping it close, keeping it safe. And influence so strong it took a few weeks, extra mounting internal frustrations, and being alone with the person she trusted absolutely asking like really asking how she was doing, to even bring it up, to give voice to that suspicion in the back of her mind that maybe it isn't 'alright' and in same breath being unable to not insist that it 'isn't doing anything' (because it doesn't want you to question it).

And then, Imogen goes as far as to hand it over, because she asked, Laudna asked, and she fought through the paranoia (hesitating, checking they were alone), and even then did not do so with out a clear warning, "Don't do anything with it, Laudna" and Laudna assuring her "I would never do anything with out you permission first."

And then tragedy struck because Laudna didn't, but Delilah did.

Imogen, very vulnerable and fraught with anxiety, paranoia at handing the stone over, watched in a matter of moments it crumble in Laudna's hand, destroyed. Normal, clear headed Imogen would have been able to see Laudna's own distress, see what was happening to know it for truth, but the stone's corruption and influence over her emotional state was not letting her be rational.

It was just her and Laudna, alone in their mind space (from what we can tell) and for the first time, Laudna's words, her promises did not match her actions, and that is what ran a knife through Imogen's very exposed heart.

"You lied."

Hopefully Imogen will be able be able to sleep off the influence of that rock or shake it off soon now that its gone and actually see what happened for what it was, but who knows how long that could take. Clearly it wasn't a clean break, items destroyed and you 'snap out of it' situation.

All of this and I didn't even begin to touch on Laudna's perspective and how absolutely terrifying it was for her to go through that, to have no control (literally), and hurting the one person you care about more than anything, who didn't see you as a monster, and cared for you, too.

To continue to be haunted by your murderer, who ever 30 years later continues to take, take, take everything from you while speaking down to you, calling you 'child' and saying that she is 'handling it', that she has 'taken care of it', like Laudna should be, ought to be grateful for what she did.

The loss of bodily autonomy was just the icing on a very, very sad and emotional cake. I can see this potentially devolving into Laudna questioning even further where the line between her and Delilah is (will she wonder if there even is a line anymore? Or are they truly one and the same? )

I saw on Tumblr a while back about tragedies, about where from the opening act the character was already 'dead'; there fate signaled in a dozen tiny ways right from the get that weren't going to make it to an end where they lived. The super sad gremlin in my brain thought of Laudna immediately (and tbh Imogen to an extent), and not because she was undead. But because of her circumstances generally speaking. She is inextricable tied to Delilah Briarwood, a woman who we now know (thanks Matt) lives somewhere in her spirit, which now has Laudna possibly marching down one of two tragic roads: Delilah corruption succeeds, suppresses Laudna and takes her form or they fight with everything to stop her and in the end, find that they are unshakably linked, one can't exit without the other.

#cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #c3 spoilers #c3ep23 spoilers #laudna #imogen temult #I had so many godamn feeling you guys help

[they-call-it-traffic]

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🐣

I love you 😂❤🧟‍♂️

11. Something neat I’ve learned while doing research and how much do I worry about research in general.

Few weeks back I watched two YouTube videos explaining the rules of cricket, because I was looking for the name of a specific throw for a metaphor that I ended up not using. So it turned out pretty useless for my story, but at least now I finally understand what that sport is all about!

Also once, I had a conversation with a real paramedic for a tragic medical emergency storyline. In the end I disregarded half of the thing he told me coz it wasn’t plot convenient 🙃 but it was super interesting.

Overall I care a lot -too much- about accuracy and not being second-guessed by anyone (apart when I write things that only my three biggest fans will read) but I’m also lazy. Which is why I tend to stick to what I know or to fields that someone I’m close to is knowledgeable about. That way I can just Whatsapp them very specific questions instead of spending hours on Google for a couple of lines in my story.

14. Worst writing habit.

I guess it’s the fact that my brain has decided a long time ago that it wouldn’t be productive at home earlier than 10pm. So in order to write during the day, I need to go to coffee shops where I spend a looooot of money on coffee and food.

17. Favourite line I’ve ever written.

Hmm, I don’t know… I guess right now I want to say ‘Liberté, égalité, frappucino’ (which means nothing out of context haha), because I don’t often amuse myself but I’m still laughing about it two weeks later. Overall, I’ll kind of cheat my way around that question and say ‘Mais tu te trompes. Le plus avisé de tous les professeurs, c’est toi.’ Not for its quality but just because it’s the final line of my biggest pride and accomplishment so far.

41. Weirdest story idea I’ve ever had.

It has to go back to McFly times, when my sister and I used to come up with three new ideas every week, putting the boys in all sorts of scenarios. I can’t really recall the weirdest one, but I guess the weirdest thing we’ve done is to make the McFly characters from her main fanfic and the McFly characters from my main fanfic become friends and chat online for hours in a sort of undefined universe.

62. Weirdest reason I’ve ever shipped something.

I’m pretty sure I’m forgetting about my weirdest ship here, but for now I’ll go with one that might not be ‘weird’ but still a bit wtf. Again with my sister, we wrote that AU fic where every single MCU character (existing back then) were students in an American high school. We built the story around mainstream ships like Stucky and Clintasha, but along the way some crossovers relationships developed in our universe and I ended up shipping Wanda Maximoff from Avengers and Matt Murdock from Daredevil so hard. To the point that I started writing a sequel spinoff fic about them and I actually ship the two MCU characters even though they’ve never been and will never be in the same movie/TV show.

63. Best insult I’ve read in a fic.

Okay, because I can’t recall any great insult read in someone else’s fic, I’ll go with one of mine, because ‘You judgemental caring kissing piece of shit!’ (and the context it was said in my ‘fine arts school’ fic) is something I’m pretty proud of.

98. What I don’t like about my writing style.

I don’t like that I’m still a bit too ‘shy’ about being crude and gutsy in my writing, sometimes it’s a bit too polished, when rougher phrasing can hit the reader right in the feels, and makes it easier to respect the ‘show don’t tell’ rule. But because it doesn’t come naturally to me, if I do it, it doesn’t read natural so most of the time I reverse back to being more poetic and stylistic.

#my writing #ask game #fanfiction writing

[chellestrash]

oh my gosh for the favorite fic thing god how do i choose?!

um well for starters i created this blog because i had seen tenet and couldn’t get enough of robert, and i do what i always do and search for a fic… but there was only one person who had so many up and i remember just binging through them all. it was you! and and “Promise” was my first neil fic :’)

but after binge reading them all like there’s so many of those stories just always stuck in my head since it was such an unsure point in my life? so i sorta clung onto those stories and… yeah. i really love “Patience” (like… liked it more than i should’ve), “Virtue” (again… jesus) andddd “Devotion” was so super cute i loved reading it when it dropped!!

gosh but also the winslow headcannons?! nobody else had really written for him and i was… a big ol bottom for him back in the day CKSKSK i loved it so much and i still always think of you whenever i see him!

alright this is getting long i’m sorry let me try and go quicker! UMMMM “Morning” i always think of it whenever i see the shot of sam smoking in bed, “A Bit of Encouragement” literally is rent free in my brain and anytime i do any school work i find it in my head and my stomach does a cartwheel, “The Sound of Rain” actually makes me wanna cry i loved it so much and and he and the kiss and and the and cause *sobs*, “Quit it” hit me like a train and so did “A Little Longer”, and “Better late…” is literally so so good i keep thinking about it and i really liked “More Of You” because it was your first matt one and the was so good you’re really great at describing him with his senses heightened!!

i think… i think that’s about it? i just gosh baby anything you write i love so so much! and i know we’ve both written each other things in dms that haven’t seen the light of day but CKSKSK i love all of those just as much too! anything you write it beautiful and hot at the same time (especially the angst woman, that shit gets me so warm so fast) and i just love how much work you put into these because they start off as just a line of dialogue you randomly shoot me in a text and i get to see how your mind worked to unpack it, roll it out and say “alright so how do we go about this?” and it’s just really fucking cool to see how it ends. i’ve been supporting your writing for years now and i can’t wait for all the years to come!!

dude what the…i…cause i…you…i…okay well i fucking cried a little there oh my god

this means so fucking much to me like you don’t

the god damn robert pattinson beginnings, my first fic PATIENCE was like almost my first ever!! and then i wrote so many and then like marvel stuff and and then JON cause you just threw that frank scene at me and i just my god i’m genuinely so happy i like keep pushing myself and others keep pushing to write shit and just…idk i don’t think you realize how much what you said here means? it just it means so much just know that, okay?

idk where my brain would be at now if i didn’t find an outlet in this like no matter how bad my fics are they’re like…idk writing helps sometimes that’s all I AINT i’m…i’m not getting anymore like emotional or anything…i’m leaving now.

#i was scared i’ll say something too personal KSKSKS #i had to be like THIS IS ALL PUBLIC SHUT UP #michelle answers #chels #friends

[sunfortune]

anyway now that i got my jokes out my actual thots on the batman (2022). wanna preface this by saying i love that bitch. even when they do stupid shit with him im like 😔....ok but thats still the bestie tho... i am not immune to stupid depressed goth man. that being said: he is a stupid depressed goth man and we need to keep that in mind

bruces first appearance walking through the line of cops and they are just quietly letting him pass.....immediately had me like...not this </3...i JUST sat down. it reminded me of the tfatws finale (hate crime) when the cops let bucky through and call him sergeant or whatever the hell. was sitting there 5 mins in like [deflated balloon]

BUT then they show how the other higher up cop man was not cool with him at all. and this was not something that was in the norm so i was like mmmh. okay not so bad... [will get back to this]

i LOVED loved the first look at gotham. the pan from "manhattan" to "newark" to the wayne building in the center establishing gotham. litchrally <333333. im biased but SO big brained to me that this rendition of gotham was new york AND new jersey. they said THE worst of both worlds. love wins <3

i really loved bruce and jim. i feel like Sooo few people have actually talked about them which is ??? bc they were So funny. (also probably the most grounded relationship he had). they were litchrally like that not to worry i have a permit ron swanson meme but it was bruce saying "not to worry i have a permit" and then jim stepping out from behind him and saying "he can do what he wants" lfmdgjnjhdf

back to the cop point. unfortunately my earlier "oh this is just a one time thing. its alright <3." desperate cling to hope was dashed as the movie went on bc it was not a one time thing

i wish it was more hush hush with just him and jim. and not him and jim with 20 other cops casually also there

like the reason jims character is so important in just the batman universe in general is bc hes the ONLY one remotely trustworthy in a completely corrupt system. and when you have scenes like the "not all cops" as a hopeful anecdote with like 150 cops. and then THE BATMAN bringing the bad guy or whatever out to Them. its like come on....

i had some minor qualms about some of the detective stuff being too tell instead of show. where bruce is just super smart so he knows the answer immediately and then he just states it and thats that. but that honestly didnt really diminish my overall experience with the movie.

i WISH they gave selina more

feel like selinas backstory was not only interesting but also a crucial part of the plot on paper but i feel like they just didnt really give her character the care it couldve had in execution...?

one thing especially was some of the dialogue they gave her felt like a first draft that they were gonna come back and brush up. but then they DONT. and just send her out there like that

there first meeting as the bat and the cat when he catches her in that house and they fight was SOO Good tho

also maybeeee gonna give them the benefit of the doubt there bc it is the First movie. if batman is in his cringe and fail era. selina can be in her early days too. but like i really REALLY hope they do give her more in the future. bc the potential is sooo untapped

also i complain about this always but. society when directors put some effort into their romantic subplots...come on </3 😔 stop letting sexy people go to waste

saw an interview clip of rob pattinson and zoe kravitz earlier and theyre actually so fun and had so much chemistry but so little of that was utilized in the actual movie </3 even tho matt reeves had Every Thing at his disposal to make it really hit </3333 why would you do that to meeee

next. i kind of Loved the reveal that thomas wayne got caught up in some bullshit. i just think the "bruces parents were perfect" narrative was kind of boring. and i like how they maintained that they were good people but. gotham is gotham. stuff happens

what i did NOT like about the thomas wayne reveal was the implication that the waynes murders were a result of him getting caught up in that mess?? i think the "they were mugged by a random guy. wrong place wrong time" is integral to the entirety of the mess that is BATMAN so that implication was just personally not my cup of tea. even if it was just speculation

there is some ways the conclusion kind of needed more for me. ill probably make another post for that. but i think like there shouldve been some realization that bruce wayne can also help gotham with his money. not just the batman with his fists. there were too many points heavily implying it throughout (the mayor, the riddlers bit about his dads promise, selina talking about the rich) and then it never happened (but also maybe next movie bc they prolly wanted to focus more on /the batman/ in this one)

i did Love the concluding point that violence will not heal gotham

i loved the juxtaposition between when he helped that man in the train station in the beginning and he said “don’t hurt me!” even tho he was trying to /help him/ bc of how he worked and presented himself with the ending when he used the flare to guide everyone to safety and then that women on the stretcher not wanting to let his hand go bc she trusted he Would keep her safe and he also held on to her as long as he could🥺

next. i LOVED bruces characterization. despite all my points its what made me Still love the movie so much.

reiterating. i am not immune to stupid depressed goth man.

the scene where the bat mobile lit up in the dark alley. was litchrally sitting there like 😭💖💘💕💓💕❣️❤️ my best friend for real

him being so standoffish and uncomfortable as bruce wayne while everyone is like omg its gothams prince. hiiiiii <3

the scene where he goes in for the kiss with selina but then gets awkward and cant go through with it. obsessed. lmfao

less suave playboy more awkward loser.

i think his characterization is the biggest brained aspect of this interpretation of batman

it makes the entire movie for me

in conclusion i had so much fun with it even if it wasnt like perfect. though i think i do get people who didn't like it. i dont know how i wouldve felt about if i didnt already love batman. and thats like a valid criticism. especially in the franchise saturated market rn where you already need to have an investment to really enjoy something that is seemingly new. but i mean thats DCs problem. i had fun and thats whats really important <3

#dont rebl0g #long post #anyway whos up lmfdkgnjs #batman spoilers #the batman spoilers

[plaid-shirtsandvibranium-arms]

Nemesis: Retribution (2)

Summary: 10 years after the Avengers had left you for dead during a mission gone wrong, you unexpectedly re-enter their lives. Wholly unrecognizable from the person they used to know and now with a new team behind you, they ask for your help to stop a chain of syndicates who were manufacturing and peddling the super soldier serum. You were determined to say no until the chance at the vengeance you had been chasing for years was added to the offer.

Fandoms: Avengers, Marvel, MCU, The Punisher, Daredevil

Pairings: Female Reader x (Frank Castle, Billy Russo, Matt Murdock, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Pietro Maximoff)

Warnings: MENTIONS OF SMUT FOR THIS CHAPTER. SHAMELESS SEXUAL BEHAVIOURS. (18+ ONLY), polyamorous relationships, reverse harem, blatant disregard for canon timelines and events, mentions of illnesses, momentary fluff, bit of angst care of Bucky, Punisher canon level of violence and gore, rejection, bullying, heartbreak, character death

A/N: I couldn’t resist not posting this early. Here you go. Next ones will probably take a while coz I have to be an actual adult for a bit. 

No permission is granted to repost, steal, or translate my work. Not even a credit makes it okay. Tumblr is the only place I post my writing. If you see it anywhere else please report it.

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1:2 Dark Chocolate

A few days of rest was required to recover from a super soldier's punch. The doctors had said that you were lucky Steve hadn't punched you with full strength or else you would probably have a whole cracked rib cage. You were anxious to jump back in to training, not used to being idle for very long.

You were given some painkillers at the clinic and ordered to stay there for the rest of the afternoon for monitoring. When you woke up, it was early evening and a blonde super soldier was napping on a steel chair next to your bed. He jumped when you moved to sit up, his heightened senses alarmed and disoriented for a second before he quickly switched to repeatedly apologizing to you. You laughed out loud. It was just a little ridiculous to you to see such a commanding presence in the field so charmingly boyish and adorably embarrassed.

Steve was a comforting presence but to be honest you were hoping to see Bucky. You didn't get a chance to thank him since he left immediately after the doctors had ushered you into the examination room. Once you were cleared to return to training, you caught sight of his long brunette hair and the bright smile on your face couldn't be stopped. It was the glare he pinned you with that made you halt your approach.

He was back to his disapproval of your very existence.

You had to admit that it stung. You thought that you were getting somewhere with him after he helped you. At least somewhere outside of the realm of outward disdain. And maybe you were hoping just a little bit that it could lead down the road to him feeling the same about you.

The timing was perfect when you were assigned to your first official mission with the Avengers. It was a chance to prove your worth to the team and to Bucky in particular. A chance to maybe make him see you as more than just a troublesome recruit.

You came back from the mission with your head held high and absolutely glowing with confidence at the kudos from Sam and Natasha. The great Natasha Romanoff had complimented your sniping skills, picking off enemies in her area even before she could aim her own gun at them.

The first thing you wanted to do after getting back to the Compound was to tell Bucky. You wanted to brag a little bit and maybe even thank him for the mentoring. If he hadn’t been so hard on you then you wouldn’t have pushed yourself to be at this level. You were skipping down the halls of the Compound in search for him, clutching the bullet casing from your first official Avenger kill.

FRIDAY had informed you that he was in the training area and you were bouncing on your feet with excitement. As you entered though the place was empty, the rest of the agents having retired to the mess halls. You ventured further in, trusting FRIDAY’s intel until you heard some noises coming from the adjacent armory. You smiled, he must be cleaning his guns again.

As you got closer, the noise began to get louder until you could make out what was undeniably pleasured moaning, one low and gravelly while the other more high pitched. You should have turned away, if only for the privacy of the couple who was wrapped up in their passion, but your curiosity pushed you to come closer and peak through the small crack in the door.

The brief image that you saw made you instantly draw back, a shaking hand pressed to your mouth to silence the shocked gasp. You backed away slowly, your mind struggling to process what you had just seen, then your flight response kicked in and you ran like hell out of there. The scene was burning a hole in your brain and caused your skin to grow cold. Sergeant Barnes rutting hard against a woman wrapped around his waist, his glinting eyes locked with yours, and a cocky sneer on his face.

You didn’t go to dinner that night or to the team celebration for a successful first mission. You chose instead to lay in your bunk with tears burning in your eyes and trying to erase the memory of your discovery. Of course he was already dating someone. A man of his caliber was sure to have a line-up of gorgeous eager women at his disposal. He probably had no interest in boring recruits like yourself. The woman he was throwing into bliss must be some supermodel or high ranking spy. How did you even end up deluding yourself that you could possibly catch his eye?

The rest of your roommates filtered in after a few hours, chatting away noisily about the party. Anna had come to sit on the edge of your bed and ran a comforting hand along your arm, concern clearly etched on her face.

“I’m fine. Just tired. The mission really wore me out,” you muttered with a small smile. You weren't ready to talk about it yet.

“Personally I think I had better success today than all of you,” Kim’s shrill voice cut through the good natured conversations in the room.

She wasn’t part of the group taken on the mission, claiming beforehand that she was ill. A chorus of curious why’s rang out through the group and she preened at once again being the center of attention.

“Well I just had the fuck of a lifetime from none other than Sergeant James Barnes.”

The room of women burst into chaos; squeals of disbelief, rapid fire questions on how big he was and how good of a lay was he, were they dating now or was this a fuck buddy situation. Of course Kim was more than happy to entertain each question.

You tuned all of it out, the noise turning into an annoying ringing in your ear. You turned around to face the wall as the silent tears that refused to be contained any longer fell to wet your pillow. You barely registered Anna squeezing your shoulder or the words that Kim threw your way.

“Sorry, Y/N. I guess I was just more Bucky’s type.”

You curled yourself into a tighter ball as the pain in your chest radiated across your whole body. You had assumed wrong about Bucky. It seemed that he wasn’t opposed to dating new recruits.

He was just opposed to you.

The taunting from Kim continued on and you just couldn't take it any longer. You brushed the tears away, grabbed your sweater, and marched yourself to the door. You needed to get some air. You needed to get away. Anywhere but there. You wrenched open the door and almost came crashing straight toward a solid chest. Your eyes travelled up to lock with the kind blue gaze of Captain America. You wondered why Steve was standing at the doors of your bunkers holding a pack of beer in his hand.

"Good evening, ladies," he said to the room of now suddenly speechless females. "I'm just going to borrow Y/N for a bit."

The crowd remained in shocked silence while you stared at him in confusion as he smiled sweetly down at you. He had gone looking for you when he didn't see you at the celebration after Natasha and Sam had sang your praises to him at your performance. He wanted to congratulate you and bring you a drink for a job well done.

"Come on. I know a good spot," he said, placing a hand on your back and guiding you out.

Steve brought you to the top of an observatory in the Compound. It was quiet, peaceful, and offered a great view. He cracked open a bottle for you and the conversation just flowed naturally. He kept making you laugh until your sides hurt with stories about his time as a performer in the military and all the unfortunate videos that came with it. You were crying with pure joy when he relented and re-enacted his buy military bonds act, your earlier darkened mood forgotten for the moment.

Steve felt like he did something right when your glassy eyes and defeated expression was replaced with clear amusement. Even if it was at his expense. He wouldn't ask what the reason was, but he felt happy he made you feel better.

"Thank you, Steve," you muttered before you parted ways. Somehow both of you understood that it was more than just for the drink.

You promised yourself then that you would give yourself tonight to weep over your unfortunate romantic feelings. Only for tonight. Come morning you would focus all your energy on what you actually came here to do; become an Avenger. You slept fitfully that night, the shell casing from your first mission still gripped in your hand.

You made a conscious effort after that day to limit your interactions with Bucky and Kim to polite clipped conversations. At first Bucky had been surprised at your change in attitude, your blank expression and sparse words causing a momentary guilt to flash in his eyes. You had chosen instead to spend more time with Steve and the twins, your mood obviously brighter around them.

You were sitting now in a large conference room for a briefing on the next mission with a handful of other recruits when Sam Wilson sent you out to fetch the rest of the Avengers who were running late and not responding.

"Can you get them for me, sweetheart?" he chuckled, knowing that you blushed uncontrollably each time he used a nickname on you.

FRIDAY had directed you to the private common room exclusive for their use. You were about to knock on the door when you heard your name in the middle of what sounded like a heated argument. Against your better judgement, you leaned in closer.

"I don't think Y/N's cut out to be part of this team."

Your heart dropped. The conviction in Bucky's voice was clear. It was one thing for your infatuation with him to be forcefully thrown back at your face, but for him to explicitly state to a set of people that you held at such high esteem that you were not good enough was a whole other vicious heartbreak.

Lily was wrong. This time you should have known when to quit.

You forced yourself to crack the door wider and step inside, clearing your throat to announce your presence. You didn't see the startled look on their faces or the guilty one that followed when they realized that you had heard. One look at your sad glistening eyes that refused to look up confirmed it. Natasha and Steve both threw Bucky a deadly glare.

"Sam wants you all at a briefing. I was sent to come get you."

Your voice was so small and unsteady, none of the easy happiness and optimistic determination that it usually carried. Bucky felt the shame burn through him, the guilt drowning him in an instant. You weren't supposed to hear that. He took a step towards you, instinct driving him to do anything to wipe that defeated look off your face, but a threatening look from the twins pinned him in place.

"We'll walk back with you, little star," Pietro said softly, appearing beside you and wrapping an arm around your shoulder. Wanda came on the other side, looping your arm with hers.

For the rest of the briefing, you strained with the effort of focusing on Sam while blatantly ignoring Bucky. You knew he was staring a hole at the back of your head, but you couldn't allow yourself to give him any satisfaction by looking back. You were soon assigned your tasks, you being placed on sniper duty again having performed well the last time.

It was supposed to be a run of the mill mission for intel and taking out a criminal base, but with the expectation of more hostiles so a slightly bigger team was necessary. You practically flew out of the room when you were dismissed, not giving anyone a chance to talk to you. A decision was solid in your mind now for when you got back.

This would be your last mission.

The ride on the jet to the location was spent with you cleaning your gear and checking your weapons. You were sliding a few knives in place when Bucky came in front of you holding out another set of knives for you to take.

"You know if you tilt the hilt to the left you can fit more in one holster," he said.

It was odd hearing him with almost warmth in his tone toward you. If it had happened yesterday, you probably would be celebrating this fact. You nodded at him, but didn't say a word.

"Remember to keep your head low and stay on your post. Okay, doll?"

You nodded wordlessly again. Because you made a point not to look at his face, you missed the way he was struggling to say more to you and the disheartened look when you obviously weren't going to answer him. You ignored him for the rest of the ride, choosing to focus on reviewing the intel.

As far as bad intel could go, this had to be the worst. You were perched up on a densely covered hill a good distance away from the base that the rest of the team were storming. You were picking off as many hostiles coming out of the base as quick as your hands would allow. Your fingers were starting to ache from the constant reloading, your eyes stung from the gunpowder, and your lip was already bleeding from biting down on it.

The noise in the comms was pure mayhem. Each team member trying to ask for help, for backup, for a plan. You had all come expecting a fight but not an army prepared to defend. You were certainly not expecting HYDRA.

"They have Bucky."

Three words spoken that sent a cold dread to wash over all of you. HYDRA couldn't be allowed to take Bucky. You abandoned your post without a second thought and sprinted down toward the base, pistols at the ready for anyone coming your way.

"Last location," you asked urgently as you slipped into the building shooting down two agents immediately.

"West wing. Near the last corridor," Steve grunted, clearly having a hard time on his end. "Y/N, do not engage!"

"I'm the closest one, Cap."

"I'm close too. Just a little busy," Natasha huffed. "I'll follow, Y/N. Steve, we need to get the hell out of here."

Steve had reluctantly agreed, seeing that there was no other choice. He quickly barked orders and commanded you to keep safe. You nodded although he couldn't see it as you wove through the corridors at full speed in search of your teammate. The moment you barged into that last room, your eyes found an unconscious Bucky immediately.

Seeing him in that chair horrified you; shirt ripped, bleeding in several areas, skin pale and cold with sweat, chest rising and falling far too rapidly, and eyes that were unresponsive. You were so distracted by the jarring image that you failed to notice the operatives across the room until the bullets were burning through your soft flesh.

You screamed from the pain, but raised your gun and fired back until you heard their bodies thud heavily on the floor. You clutched at your side, the amount of wet blood pouring out was alarming. You pushed your own welfare aside and hurriedly undid Bucky's restraints. It was a struggle to sit up a semi-conscious super soldier and when you took his weight on your shoulders, you collapsed to the floor at the intense pain in your arm. You hadn't realized that you had multiple shots there too.

You gritted your teeth and groaned at the effort of lifting you both up, your blood soaking through your gear as well as Bucky's. You huffed painfully with each step but you just had to get him out of there. You could have kissed Natasha square in the mouth when you saw her come barreling towards you.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Y/N!" she winced at your state before taking Bucky's other side. Apparently you looked as bad as you felt. "We gotta move fast. I hear more of them coming up this way. This path is clear."

Having Natasha's help in carrying Bucky alleviated some of the burden from you and made you all move faster, but the blood loss was already starting to make your vision blurry and the adrenaline was wearing off. Through the haze, you could also hear the rapidly approaching footsteps. Soon you would be basically useless and you knew there was no way Natasha could carry you both out while fighting off a hoard of enemies.

"Natasha," you said quietly, your steps faltering.

"No. Keep going goddamn it!" Natasha cried.

She knew what you were thinking. She had assessed the situation too and come to the same miserable conclusion. You smiled sadly at her angry eyes and shaking head as you let go of your hold on Bucky. Her eyes widened further as you limped toward the doors behind you and locked them tight before raising your guns to aim right at anyone who would come through them.

She didn't miss how your hands were shaking and your shot arm could barely hold up, the way you scowled deeper in pain with each movement, or how your uniform was soaked in your own blood and slowly forming a pool at your feet. Ghastly as you looked, you turned your head and tossed her another gentle smile. You were basically going to use yourself as a human shield for them and yet you were comforting her. You were reassuring her.

"Check on my sister for me, yeah?"

Natasha wanted to insist on another plan. Anything other than leave you behind to hold off the nearing enemy units. Shouting and gunfire from the other side of the door forced her to make a decision. She cursed sharply under her breath and dragged Bucky away with her, the regret heavy on her heart for having to leave you behind.

You stepped further back and supported your weak body against the wall after Natasha had thankfully left. The enemy was trying their hardest to barge through the door, ramming into it and shooting their guns at the locks. It wouldn't be long now before they manage to breach it.

You took a moment to spare a thought for your sister. A part of you was saddened to think of her grief after she finds out that you had done the most heroic thing anyone could ever do.

Sacrifice.

Another part of you was relieved knowing that she had Jill and she wouldn't be alone in that grief. When you decided this morning that this would be your last mission, you didn't necessarily expect it to be in this way.

"I'm sorry, Lily."

Natasha managed to get Bucky back to the jet where the rest of the team were all converging, still fighting off operatives chasing after them. There just didn't seem to be any end to them.

"I'm going back for Y/N!" she yelled to the team as she dropped Bucky on the floor of the jet. There was no time to be gentle, she had to hurry back to help you out.

"What do you mean? Where the hell is Y/N, Nat?" Steve shouted as he grabbed her arm.

"She stayed behind to hold off the ones chasing us so we could get out. I have to go back!"

"I will go. I can get her out," Pietro volunteered at once but he doubled over immediately from the extensive wounds on his torso.

Natasha was already sprinting back into the compound, not willing to waste another minute. She made it only a few feet before the entire facility exploded into a fiery inferno that quickly ravaged it and threw her farther back.

The entire team watched in horror as the explosions continued on several parts of the structure. The area was quickly getting engulfed by the flames and smoke. Steve had to force everyone onto the jet and bodily carry a shell shocked Natasha.

No one could have possibly survived that.

------------------------------

Natasha steadied her breath as she quietly landed on a perch high above in the rafters of a seedy warehouse. Wanda joined her seconds later, weaving her magic to better cloak them. The other twin was running a lap around the perimeter and would join them later.

She was assigned weird missions all the time. Missions that had very little to doubtful intel was common. This mission though was by far the strangest she's ever gotten. There was a very small list of vague things that were told to them; the time and location, not to intervene, to remain unseen until the target was ready, bring the target to the Compound.

She was slightly annoyed, but she complied anyway. She was curious too as the mission was given in secret to only the three of them. A million questions was speeding through her mind as she observed the activity below. It looked like a regular run of the mill drug den filled with busy workers and roving guards.

"How many, Wanda?" Natasha whispered.

"I sense more than 25 of them. All armed, but with much fear."

A gust of wind signaled the return of the other twin. He had a frown on his face and a concerned look in his eyes. "There is another one, but this one does not seem to be with them."

Natasha was starting to sincerely doubt this mission when a fast movement from the shadows caught her eye. By the way the twins perked up too, they surely had seen it. They followed the figure as it slipped through the darkness, almost losing track if they hadn't noticed that the guards were quickly dwindling in number. Natasha was growing worried, this was surely a highly skilled group of assassins. Pietro must have been mistaken. They were clean and efficient too.

All of a sudden a gunfight broke out below them. A figure completely clad in black, strolled casually out from the shadows with a pistol in each hand firing precisely at their targets. They confidently charged closer, unfazed as they greeted the gunfire. They continued to tear viciously through the crowd with a deadly mix of combat, bullets, and blades. 

The workers had drawn their weapons by now as well, but they were quickly killed off with barbaric aggression. It did not take long for the floor below to become a sea of blood and lifeless bodies. One person remained barely alive, hanging on to his middle to keep his internal organs from spilling out from the wide gash. The attacker came to him, nonchalantly stepping over decimated bodies. They couldn't hear what was exchanged from this distance, only the choked scream that followed as he was stabbed straight through the throat. His blood spurting out like a broken faucet.

Natasha had been in this profession for a while, but she has never seen this level of unrestrained violence.

One person.

One single person had cleared out a base of approximately 30 people. Natasha was growing more and more worried. Clearly this person was at the very least an enhanced and even with the twins with her, they were not prepared to face someone powered.

What kind of bloodthirsty lunatic does this?

"You can come down now."

All three of them froze in place. Looking down, the attacker was staring right at them with cloaked eyes. Reluctantly and very slowly, Wanda used her powers to float them down carefully keeping a good distance from this murderer.

From this close they could now see that they were in full military tactical gear in what was originally all matte black, but now had an explosion of dripping red. Combat boots, fitted cargo pants, a long sleeved shirt underneath a tight bulletproof vest, gloves, a loose hood over their head, and a cloth mask around the lower half of their face.

"Should have known something was up when my team mentioned seeing a really fast man."

The shivers that travelled through every expanse of skin on Natasha, was a reaction to that voice. It sounded strangely familiar yet unknown, but something in her mind was denying her from piecing it together. The moment the hood was dropped to reveal their eyes was when she spiraled into a complete icy shock. They were eyes that had haunted her for the past ten years. Haunted all of them. The only difference was that the eyes in her memories were smiling warmly.

The bloodied face mask was lowered to reveal a face they mourned, unmistakable and yet completely different. White raised scars branched out like weaving vines from the right side of the neck to just above the jaw and the ears. They were obviously old and healed but still raised and prominent, adding an even more dangerous edge to the menacing look on their face.

Your face.

"Hello, Natasha. Pietro. Wanda."

10 years after they had watched you tragically perish in a burning HYDRA facility, you stood before three of a group of people you had unknowingly tormented all these years.

The earpiece you wore crackled to life. "Blackbird to Hedwig. I have a visual. Should I shoot them?"

You smirked. There was no need for that. At least not right now.

"Hey, Blackbird. Tell Raven I'll be late for dinner. I have a reunion to get to."

------------------------------

A/N: Tell me which pairing or combination in this harem you’re most looking forward to. Smut or otherwise. I’m still rearranging scenes and working out smut. There is a long list of kinks. I need help.

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#marvel #avengers #daredevil #the punisher #mcu #marvel reverse harem #frank castle smut #frank castle angst #frank castle fluff #frank castle x reader #billy russo smut #billy russo angst #billy russo fluff #billy russo x reader #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock angst #matt murdock smut #matt murdock x reader #steve rogers smut #steve rogers angst #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x reader #pietro maximoff fluff #pietro maximoff angst #pietro maximoff smut #pietro maximoff x reader

[raysofcrosby]

Can you give us a blurb about Matt being psycho over protective during care’s pregnancy with Scarlett? Like I can see him being so over the top with unnecessary concern about everything and starts trying to not let her do anything. She might be endeared at first but she (and even Ethan eventually) quickly gets annoyed.

it's funny that you sent this bc there's actually a moment in the third bonus chapter (the pregnancy one) where in the late second trimester, you see matt being super protective and he's teamed up with ethan too so that when he's away, ethan's like his little spy! so i'll just give you a sneak peek of that instead 🥰

beneath the cut is a sneak peek of bonus chapter #3 – two pink lines

She was starting to think she was going crazy. She knew she filled up her coffee mug this morning before dropping Ethan off at school– she could close her eyes and actually see herself pouring it and making it...and yet, her entire cup was empty. Caroline didn't remember spilling it at any point in the car when she went to drop Ethan off at school or even on herself as she made her way into her back into the apartment this morning, so why was there absolutely no coffee left?

It wasn't even just the coffee either. She could've sworn that she had just bought more cheese for lunch sandwiches, it was even on the receipt she had dug out of her purse to prove to herself she had– and yet it was nowhere to be found.

Unless she was mixing up her days of making coffee and she had just forgotten to grab the bag at the grocery store with the cheese in it.

Which is exactly why she had called out of work, deciding that maybe she just needed to take an off day and let both her body and her brain relax. There wasn't much to do around the house, Ethan was pretty helpful with keeping it clean, especially since she was pregnant and Matt was gone from time to time.

In fact...he was pretty helpful with everything. Helping her do dishes, make dinner, pack their lunches. Not saying that he wasn't a helpful kid, because he's always been...but it's been almost suspicious how quick he is to get off of his iPad or out of his chair when doing homework whenever she walked into the kitchen. Almost like he was up to something.

"I'm home," Matt called out, closing the door behind him and walking into the living room where she was lounging on the couch. "How are you feeling? Do you need to see a doctor? Do you have a fever? Is there–"

"I'm fine, Matty," she laughed, taking a deep breath and rubbing her hand down her bump, sighing. "We're fine. I'm just a little tired is all. Just because I needed a break, doesn't mean something is instantly wrong."

"I know, I know," he replied, sitting down beside her. "I just don't want you to get super stressed about anything."

"I'm growing a human inside of me, of course I'm going to be stressed but it's natural," she replied, reaching up and running her fingers through his hair before resting it against his right cheek. "But that's what my Doctor is for and all the testing."

"Alright fine, I'll relax." He nodded turning his head and kissing the inside of her palm. "I'm gonna take a shower, when E gets home I'll take him somewhere so you can have a little more quiet time, sound good?"

"He should be home soon. Elizabeth said she'd pick him up today, so make the shower quick." she replied, covering herself up with the blanket and laying down, resuming the true crime netflix series that had just come out.

Matt had gone down the hall and into their bathroom and she'd only been laying down on the couch for about five minutes when the front door opened.

"Daddy, I'm home!" Ethan called out, closing the door and moving towards the dining room where he always dropped off his backpack. "I did what you asked me to this morning, but I almost got caught because Momma came back down the hallway right when I dumped her coffee and–"

"You did what?!" Caroline asked, sitting up and looking towards the back of the couch, Ethan's eyes going wide. "Ethan Matthew Tkachuk, why did you dump my coffee?"

"Did I hear E?" Matt asked, walking down the hall in sweats and a hoodie, drying his hair with the towel and stopping just at the end of the hall, taking in the scene. "What?"

"He told me to!" Ethan confessed, pointing at Matt. "He said I had to make sure you didn't drink coffee or eat cheese and that you didn't try to do anything by yourself and stuff because of the baby."

Caroline looked at Matt who's eyes were wide as he turned to her, a sheepish smile on his face. "To be fair...I told him not to let you drink two cups of coffee and soft cheese."

"THE CHEESE IS SOFT!" Ethan huffed, walking into the dining room and grabbing his lunch box, coming back and opening it and pulling out the opened pack of Swiss cheese. "See? SOFT. And your mug is big, so that's more than two cups of coffee."

"Oh my God," Caroline laughed sarcastically, shaking her head and looking at Matt.

"I'm not doing it anymore. I'm tired of waking up early to pour out your coffee. Besides, I spilled it on my pants this morning and it smells." Ethan pouted, handing Caroline the packaged cheese. "Please don't be mad at me, Momma. I only did it to help the baby."

"It's fine, Ethan," she sighed, taking the cheese from him as she stood up off of the couch, pointing at them both. "But I want both of you to know that I'm almost a 29-year-old woman, I've been through this before, so I know what to eat and drink and how to survive growing this little human inside of me."

"Care–"

"Nope, stay right there," she said, pointing back at Matt who looked more than apologetic. "I get why you did it, I really do. But I spent the entire day thinking I was losing my mind because of your guys' little secret plan."

"Sorry, Mommy," Ethan frowned, holding his hands together. "Can I do anything to help?"

"It's alright Ethan. Just know that this isn't soft cheese, just because it's soft. It's okay for me to eat because his pasteurized. And my coffee mug is big, but I only pour about one cup into it, which is halfway." She sighed. "But I wouldn't mind if you helped set up a bath for me."

"I can do that!" Ethan nodded, quickly giving her a hug before running down the hall to her and Matt's bedroom.

Caroline walked towards the kitchen with the cheese in her hand and heard Matt follow behind her. She opened the fridge and put the cheese back inside, turning around to see Matt standing right there with a frown on his face.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, holding onto both of her hands. "I just...I worry when I'm not here because what if you need something and E can't drive and it all sounds so crazy...but I'm just worried. And I figured if I made him my little helper and spy, that it'd be easier to help out."

"It's fine, Matty, I get it." She nodded, wrapping her arms around his waist. "But just...pull back a little, okay? I promise if anything's ever wrong, I'll let you know. But right now, we're good, okay?"

"Promise?" He pouted, looking down at her near seven month bump.

"Promise," she smiled, grabbing one of his hands and placing it on her bump just as she felt their daughter kick. "See? She's okay."

He smiled leaning in and kissing her before pulling back and sighing. "I mean come on...how was I supposed to know he thought soft cheese was just cheese?"

#wltay #anon #answered

[itjazzbicch]

In Reality

Pairing: “Platinum” Max Caster x Fem Reader  

Summary: On television, Max Caster and the reader are enemies, but behind the scenes, they are actually the best of friends and whenever Max and the reader are in a mixed trios match, on the opposite teams, Max's tries to do his signature rap, but he can't do it to the reader, instead, professing his feelings...

Warnings:  SMUT! (18+ ONLY)

Requested by:  Anon (Whoever you are, I hope you enjoy!)

Word Count:  3364

Tag List: @demonqueen29​ @jessiebean00​ @new-zealand-chic​ @crowleysqueenofhell​ @justamess44​ @thatpanpal​ @hungmanhorsecarriage​ @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch​  @linziland13​ @yungbludjazz360​  

I DO NOT OWN THIS GIF

"Dude, you're wrestling the Sydal brothers! You have to make some kind of yoga joke!" I giggled, helping my best friend, Max Caster write a part of his rap for his match tonight and this one had me very intrigued.

Max and I were enemies on television but behind the scenes, we were the closest duo back there! We were travel buddies, we worked out together, supported each other's hobbies outside of wrestling. We were the best of friends, without a doubt.

I wasn't sure if Max had begun to work on my part of the rap because tonight the match up was:

The Acclaimed and Britt Baker (weird combo in my opinion, but it made sense since she was my rival) versus Matt & Mike Sydal and myself.

"You're right! Definitely gotta get that in there," Max laughed with me, beginning to jot some things down.

"So, what are you going to say about me?" I asked curiously, a smile on my face because I wasn't trying to laugh.

"Now, that's a secret," Max smirked, smiling back at me.

"You seriously can't even tell me a line?" I groaned, seriously wanting to know, but he wasn't budging, shaking his head no.

"Our match is up next! You'll know soon," Max protested and I just gave up, rolling my eyes but laughing:

"Alright! Just take it easy on me!"

"Can't make any promises!" Max laughed, watching me when I began to walk away.

Our match was up next and I was actually honored to wrestling with Matt and Mike. They were veterans and legendary. Our wrestling styles were also very similar, so that made it even more exciting. They were already waiting for me whenever I got to the guerrilla and Matt welcomed me with a smile, saying:

"You ready for the night?"

"Always ready," I smiled, but growing silent whenever I heard Mike say:

"I heard you over there with your buddy, Max. I hope he doesn't try and roast you too bad, tonight."

We all actually laughed and Matt whispered:

"I already know what to expect from him so, I'm prepared."

"So am I," I sighed, "Honestly, we joke around a lot. If he didn't roast me, I'd actually be surprised."

While I was finishing my sentence, Matt's music hit and Mike when up the stairs, Matt following along when he said to me:

"See ya out there!"

I made my entrance like normal, the fans always ate it up and next was Britt, damn it was annoying. It didn't take long though for me to get excited, hearing the beat drop for Max's music.

"Yo, yo, yo!" Max yelled while walking through the tunnel.

I thought to myself, boy is this gonna be good and it was, hearing the lines I helped him with when Max began:

"Sydal Brother!

Every time you get in the ring, ya'll say namaste

But when we whoop your asses you'll be running away

No one cares about you two hippies

I should slap your asses back to the 1960's!"

It was so hard to sit in the ring and act disgusted meanwhile I wanted to laugh my ass off, but at the same time, I was also preparing myself, knowing I was next, Max pointing at me, saying:

"And Y/N, don't even get me started!

You, you-"

I was actually surprised this time. Max was stuck, stuttering, like he was nervous which I never saw from him. No one ever did, everyone trying to encourage him, I even heard Britt yell:

"Roast her, Max!"

But Max, he did something no one expected, going back to his rap:

"You know what, Y/N, I ain't even gonna lie

Every time I see you, I wanna make you mine.

You, you're better than all these girls

And all I ever wanted was to give you world

I know we're supposed to get in this ring and clash

But you and me? We are the perfect match!"

I began to naturally drift to the center of the ring and I really couldn't contain my emotions, holding my mouth for a moment, trying not cry and every began to cheer, clapping and smiling whenever Max finished with:

"This is a special moment, so everyone observe and watch me go get my girl!"

My arms were wide open while I watched Max hop into the ring, coming right at me with the best hug I ever received. There were few moments when I heard a big pop in this ring and this moment was one of them, everyone just go ballistic, whether if they liked us or not.

I couldn't hold back the tears whenever Max hugged me, but everything stopped, like slow motion, the noise dying down. The only thing I could feel was Max's hand holding the back of my head, looking into his gorgeous brown eyes before they closed, feeling the warmth of his soft lips whenever they met mine.

It was like fireworks were going haywire in my brain, passion being the thing that lit the fuse for them. Just the way Max had his arms around me, for the first time, feeling emotions from him that I never felt before and with the way he kissed me, I just knew that everything he said was true.

Whenever our lips parted, I finally snapped back into reality, seeing the ring and the crowd again while Max just pulled me into another hug, holding my head to his chest, looking down at me as he smiled:

"So, you gonna be my girl?"

"Why did you even ask? I am your girl," I giggled, smiling so hard when my head popped up, giving him another kiss.

Max kept his arm wrapped around my shoulder, yelling to Britt Baker:

"Ayo! Get over there with them hippies! Y/N is our partner!"

"What? You can't just change the match!" Britt yelled, trying to get in Max's face and that's when I stepped in.

Max was always a bit of an instigator, but this time, I didn't mind. Max and Anthony were on standby though whenever I got in Britt's face and said into a mic:

"You heard what my man said. Now get over there! Either way, I'm kicking your ass tonight!"

"Yeah! Get over there and catch this whoopin!" Max laughed, all of us watching whenever she just stopped trying and went to her corner while we went to ours.

Now, it was time to get in the zone and Anthony started out first with Mike. This was the first time I had ever team with Max and it was so hard to not smile and jump around to let out the excitement. It also took all my might to not get on Max and have a little match of our own. I was just on top of the world.

Our match was also a lot of fun. The only thing bothering me was that, Britt refused to be tagged in. She was abandoning her partners, which she would have done regardless of what side she was on. Max and Anthony had a tough time handle Matt and Mike.

At the climax of the match, Max just broke out of Matt's submission move, super-kicking him and they both collapsed. The only two people on the apron was Britt and myself.

"Come on, Max!" I yelled, stretching out my arm as far as possible.

Again, Britt abandon Matt, but Max made his tag to me. She had no choice but to get in here. Britt, of course, tried running away, but whenever she made it to the outside, right by the front of the ring, I ran against the ropes and hit her with a suicide dive, ramming her into the barricade, picked her up and threw her in the ring and that's when the real fun began.

Britt did have her moments where she was having the upper hand. At one point, I was almost put into her finisher, but she couldn't hook my other arm, which gave me an opportunity. Elbow after elbow, finally made her break her submission.

Matt and Mike tried getting back to the apron, to break up a pin if needed, but Max and Anthony were on it, taking them out while I was thinking on the top of my head, hitting her with a pump handle, flat-liner, planting her face in the mat and picking up the win.

As soon as that bell rang, Max came right at me, making me laugh as he about knocked me over. It was hands down, the best moment I ever had in that ring, Max and Anthony putting me up on each of their shoulders, raising me up high to celebrate.

Whenever we got backstage, that celebrating didn't stop. When we had open space, I just hugged Max again and we were both just so happy; Max spinning me around in his arms.

"I'm so happy you didn't show me the rap you had planned for me," I giggled, still raised up in his arms, looking down at him.

"If you want me to be honest," Max sighed, admitting, "That came off the top of my head. I could never talk about you in a bad way. It came straight from the heart."

"Max! I already cried enough tonight!" I whined, but smiling, making me laugh a little and I just wrapped my arms around his neck even tighter, laying my head on his shoulders, legs wrapping around his waist.

"You guys wanna call it a night?" Anthony suggested, we didn't have anything else to do truthfully.

"Wanna get out of here?" Max whispered to me, "Have some time to ourselves?"

"I would never pass that up," I cooed, kissing his cheek, "Just know though, I'm not letting you go."

Max just shook his head, smiling while patting my back, just listening and walking off to the locker room with me in his arms.

Backstage, we heard a lot about what happened out there and I was happy to hear a lot of sweet comments. We basically stole the show and both Max and Anthony agreed that I was now, officially, the third member of The Acclaimed.

I have always been the kind of person who couldn't contain their excitement and tonight, it was even worse, but also in the good way. I was shaking, jumping, squealing, just having the best night ever. Whenever Max and I got to the hotel, in our own room, I was still so excited, smiling whenever he came in and shut the door:

"So I am seriously apart of The Acclaimed?"

"Yes!" Max said for about the millionth time, laughing, "How many times are you gonna ask?"

"I'm sorry," I chuckled, admitting, "So much just happened tonight and I'm like, freaking out! I can't believe all of this!"

For once, it rarely happened, but Max got seriously, standing in front of me when he asked, "Why can't you believe it?"

"It-" I began, truly caught off guard, but I got serious too, admitting my true feelings, "I just can't believe that you feel the same way and you got to say it first. Telling the whole world. It's like a fairy tale dream and I'm living it."

"Dreams," Max sighed, stroking my cheek, "They do come true, baby."

"They do," I smiled, stroking his cheek too, "I'm so happy I don't have to keep dreaming anymore."

Just like in the ring, our lips clashed and it was even better. My knees seriously grew weak, shaking from anticipation, excitement wanting to grow, but moving through my body ever so slowly. When I wished in the ring that Max and I could just be one on one, that wish was coming true right in that moment.

I took a handful of his shirt, kissing him a bit harder and he understood the feelings steaming off of me, delivering that right back, picking up the tempo whenever he threw off his shirt, his hands unbuckling his pants while my shirt was gone next.

For a moment, we just stared at each other. By the way his chest was heaving, I could tell his heart was beating quick and hard, just like mine. Reality hitting me never felt so good, another hard kiss from Max finding my lips again, his strong arms picking me up by the thighs, wrapping them around his waist while he climbed onto the bed, laying me down softly.

While our kiss just grew even more intense, I pulled my shoulders in, my bra straps loose enough to fall down on their own. At the same time, Max spread my legs open wide, allowing himself to throw off his jeans.

A quick rush made my body shake a little, my blood running hot, growing whenever I felt his hard on hitting right at my clit, even through my tights I could feel it. It made me pick up the pace, sitting up, pulling away from our kiss when I whispered in a sexy tone:

"How about we get even, huh?"

The look in Max's eyes, I had never seen it before, laser focused while watching me kick off my tights and throwing my bra off the bed.

Slowly, he just looked me up and down, knowing that he liked what he saw, his cock growing even harder, it showing through his briefs, his erection making it tighter.

He liked it, so I gave him even more, bringing my legs together, smiling:

"What? You shy?"

Again, he just watched, following my every move while I threw off my panties next and finally, that's when he finally snapped back into place, smiling devilishly when he got off the bed, saying:

"Trust me, I'm not shy," At the same time, his briefs dropped to the floor and I definitely liked what I saw, a very impressive size, smiling hard again as he added, "I just can't get over how beautiful you are."

Max always knew how to make my heart flutter, my heart rate unstable at that point, but it never felt so good, it growing when I watched him crawl his way back up to, my legs naturally opening wide for him, eyes adjusting to the lighting quickly when he reached over to the left, turning off the lights.

I thought my blood was running hot? Max was like a human space heater, hands steaming hot and that alone gave me so much relaxation from the moment of contact, his hands covering and kneading at my breasts, feeling his hard, hot cock laying against me, his kiss leading from my lips down to my neck.

Each kiss on my neck was slow, his right hand falling down my side, picking me up a little by my lower back, taking a handful of my ass, keeping me in that position, holding it better once he took a hold of my thigh and I was left gasping, grabbing his shoulders quickly.

His crown began to push through and into me, the moisture taking a moment to hit, but even when it did, it was a lot, having me whine already.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" Max asked quickly, noticing my reaction.

"No," I gasped quickly. He wasn't at all, I was just trying to focus on the feeling of being so full, "I just never felt this way before."

"Is that a good thing?" Max chuckled, smiling when I let my head fall back into the pillows, praising him already by saying:

"It's so damn good, baby."

"Good," Max whispered, kissing me softly, moving his hips a little more, feeding me some soft thrusts, working his way up so that eventually, our hips would meet.

That didn't take long, Max spreading my legs a little wider, which helped, sliding all the way in slowly and it made a deep moan fall from my lips, that same moan turning high pitched whenever I felt his crown go past my sweet spot and it felt amazing.

From the sounds of my moans, he knew that he was making me feel good, sitting up straight, my legs hooked around his button of his arms, dragging every inch down slowly, and putting it all back a little quicker, going deep just like last time.

"That feels good, huh?" Max smirked, squeezing my thighs hard once he did it again.

I just nodded my head, looking up at him for a moment while I murmured, "You found a new way to make me feel good and I love it."

"You love it?" He asked, picking up the pace and the feeling was so overwhelming, I could barely nod my head, overtaken by all the moans and noises that desperately needed to escape me.

Each thrust hitting my sweet spot, it jolted everyone one of my nerves, from my head to my toes, making me tremble a little, all the heat in my body growing hotter from how fast my blood was running, on top of Max's body heat.

Before I knew it, I was moaning out his name, more praising from those and just senseless babbles, my back arching hard from my nerves just searing my body. One of his hands found the arch of my back, pressing into it softly, his other hand keep him up a little, but our bodies still coming together.

We both could feel my walls spasming, clenching him so tight, my arms quickly wrapping around his neck, holding tightly because my body was just so close to losing all control. By keeping my hips up, he was sliding in so deep and with the quickened pace, it made my walls spasming even harder, signaling my orgasm.

"M-Max," I stuttered horribly, with the way he was moving, it was just hard to comprehend anything, only wanting to focus on all of the sweet, powerful pleasure.

"I'm here, baby," Max whispered in my ear, "You o-"

I didn't mean to cut him off, but even though he moved a bit slower in that moment, my whole body was in sensory overload, every part of me sensitive, his previous thrusts hitting my sweet spot multiple times because he was only pulling back a little, the soft impact also hitting my clit, making my body shudder, the heat in my body just dropping down, triggering me.

He knew the moment my hands latched onto his shoulders and I cried, "Max, oh my god, I'm cuming."

I could barely breathe, even Max having trouble trying to keep it together, letting out some groans whenever my walls just gave him a death grip, drenching us both.

Max actually helped me out by taking my hands, interlocking them with his and putting them above my head, it actually expanded my lungs, getting more air, but like always, he knew how to make me breathless.

His head was against mine, our noses nuzzling and he was still feeding me a few soft thrusts, but I paid close attention, even more overwhelmed whenever he cooed:

"Y/N, I love you."

My eyes opened slowly and he picked up his head to see mine, smiling when I whispered, "I love you too."

I was about ready to cry again, just hugging him, his head laying on my shoulder while he pinned his hips against mine, rocking back and forth a little, both of us breathing heavily when we felt another wave a heat that took us out.

Max literally just rocked my world, from the beginning of the night during the show till now, pulling me on top of him whenever he withdrew, falling back to lay down on the bed. I gladly took the cuddling invitation, placing my leg over him, cuddling up to his chest while he wrapped his arm around me.

"Max," I whispered softly, just looking at him in awe whenever he looked down to me, "I really love you."

Max rarely showed emotions out in the ring and on television but when it came to me, he didn't mind putting those walls down, wiping away a small tear that fell down my cheek when he cooed:

"I love you even more."

#wrestling #wrestling imagine #wrestling fic #wrestling smut #wrestling oneshot #aew #aew imagine #aew fic #aew smut #aew oneshot #platinum max caster #max caster #max caster x reader #max caster imagine #max caster fic #max caster smut #max caster oneshot #request #read and enjoy

[c-is-for-circinate]

Episode 125

Gosh what a great episode.  We have hit such a good run lately, folks.  I am so utterly pleased to be Back In It like this.

Just.  Alura!! and Kima!!!  And Emon, god, the way everybody’s faces lit up with shock and joy and wonder at the idea that, even for a brief period of time, even just to visit a tower, they would set foot in Emon again, for the first time in their characters’ lives, it was so good.  I never love this show so much as when the players are full of love and joy, and this was very very good.

Other thoughts:

If I recall correctly, Kima’s sword was given to her not because nobody else could use a two-handed broadsword (Grog at least could’ve taken it up, and I don’t think he was currently bonded to an evil talking sword at the moment when they found it), but because it could only be attuned by a paladin.  I was super surprised at Kima giving it to Yasha on that front, since theoretically, all joking aside, Fjord is actually the only  member of the team who could actually use it!  I’d wondered if Matt was walking back the rule on his own item, or making an aasimar/zealot exception, but after that dream now I’m wondering a whole bunch of other things.  Is Yasha going to multiclass in paladin too? Is there going to be a whole NEW line of aasimar dream quests now that she’s got her wings and all?  Inquiring minds want to know!

So I like everybody else have a hundred thousand feelings about Beau and Zenoth and the Cobalt Soul right now (I spent that whole conversation with Yudala just staring at the screen going “Holy FUCK”).  I think the thing I haven’t seen said yet, the thing that’s sticking with me, is the moment between Yudala saying “Zenoth is under arrest”, and Yudala explaining why. Because, in that moment?  I would lay real good odds on Beau’s brain churning through, ‘shit, is that our fault?  Is he on the hook for something we did at some point and maybe implicated him or just forgot about completely?  Do we have to find a way to get him out of this too?’  After all, since Beau’s promotion to Inquisitor, Zenoth became something like a vaguely grudging ally.  He’s done research on the team’s behalf.  They are assholes to him only on the level that they’re assholes to people who’re basically their allies but they wouldn’t bend over backwards to really actually like.  Before this conversation, I’d put money on Beau ranking him above several other technical allies on a list of ‘people we have to work with sometimes in spite of our vaguely antagonistic relationship that we created by being reflexive dicks to literally everyone around us’. And that context just...it makes everything about this just so much more.  It’s not just that Beau was resigned to never getting justice or validation or being free of her abuser(s).  She’d normalized everything so hard it was a shock to get acknowledgement that said abuser even existed. And like...Idk.  There’s a difference between ‘this person hurt me and is still actively trying to hurt me’ (hi Trent Ikithon), vs, ‘this person hurt me and I cut them out of my life and that’s fine and all but they sure don’t seem to feel any remorse’ (hello Beau’s dad), vs, ‘yeah this person hurt me back then but I guess it’s all just sort of fine now? like, I didn’t get an apology or anything, but they don’t seem interested in hurting me any more either, sooooooooo...guess that’s good?’  The third situation is such a weird place to be in.  It’s such a confusing place to be.  It’s so rarely something that gets brought up as a situation where the abuser/aggressor still deserves to be held culpable.  And shit, but seeing it play out this way means a lot.

With their second eye each on the way at the start of next episode, I sure am going to need Beau and Caleb to start working out how to use those fuckers.  C’mon, Caleb, where is your Identify spell when we need it?  When do our characters start getting infinite at-will scrying slots and antimagic cones?  Get on it, Mighty Nein!!!

I feel like I trimmed like 3/4 of the Critrole blogs off my dash between everyone going various different ways during hiatus, and then the shipping mess circa Rumblecusp when we all came back.  I need more good CR follows.  This may have to be a quest for tomorrow morning.

#cr spoilers #episode 125 #critical role

[duuhrayliegh]

watch your six - part five

pairing: eventual bucky x reader (they’re together in the next chapter i stg)

warnings: language (several f bombs bc i feel like bucky would be liberal w them), sam and bucky being little shits, bad nicknames, 

word count: just under 2500

a/n: long awaited but it’s finally here! i’m super proud of this one :) i hope y’all like it also this was the first time i’ve written something like this so constructive criticism please. i hope i did the characters justice 

p.s.: my requests are still open babes! i’m working on the next part of this series and also possibly continuing TFCL ;) my tag lists are still open as well

please like and reblog if you enjoyed the story 

xoxo ray

series m.list

ray’s m.list

***********************************

The tension in the room was palpable. “What do you mean you know her, Buck?” Steve questioned. Bucky’s eyes were flitting around the room, landing on each face of bewilderment. He honestly didn’t know what he meant but that, it kind of just came out. Where the fuck did that come from? Who is this woman?

“Uh, hello? What’s going on in that cyborg brain of yours?” Sam interjected quickly, to which he received a sharp glare from both Bucky and Steve. Sam shrugged his shoulders and a quiet snort was heard from across the room.

“He’s got a point, Terminator.” Tony said as he plopped himself into one of the rollie chairs. “You can’t just say something like that and then not explain it.” Bucky’s brows furrowed and he expelled a grunt as his response to Tony.

“Bucky, you’ve got to give us something to go on here.” Natasha said calmly as she eyed an increasingly agitated Bucky.

Since coming back from Wakanda and being brought into the compound, Steve, Sam and Natasha have learned how to read Bucky. Steve has always been able to read the one hundred and six year old, they have shared life experience. Natasha was is a trained master assassin, trained in the Red Room by the Winter Soldier. One of her most valuable skills is her ability to read the emotions of anyone around her. And Sam, well he still leads a support group down at the VA. Being a war-torn veteran himself, he knows what it’s like to have to deal with the memories.

“Look, I don’t know what I meant by it.” Bucky finally said, throwing his hands above his head in exasperation. “It just came out, ya know? I didn’t process it before I said it and now, it’s out there. And to top it off, I don’t have the fucking memories there to back it up. They’re definitely there, but they aren’t just presenting themselves to me on a silver platter.” The group around him silenced.

Bucky was known for being the quiet, brooding type. His murder stare was comically famous around the compound. Sam constantly picked on Bucky about it, so hearing the man spout more than a few words at a time was a shocking experience for all of them.

“You know, there is a way that we can know what even your own mind doesn’t want you to know.” Tony said, darting his eyes over to Steve, who stood stoically in front of the large monitor.

“Goddamn, Tony! We said this isn’t an episode of FRIENDS!” Sam shouted.

“He won’t like that Tony. You know he won’t.” Natasha cut in quickly.

“But, if it works and it tells us if this woman knows anything, then it’s worth a shot.” Tony shot back.

“Tony. No. He’s already been through that and you want to subject him to it again?” Bucky was listening intently to their conversation, trying to figure out what they were referring to.  Natasha seemed adamant that Bucky would not be a fan of whatever it was. Tony, as usual, couldn’t care less.

“What are we talking about?”

“Wanda.”

“Who’s Wanda again?”

“She’s the witch.”

“We have a witch on our team? That’s not possible, there’s no such thing as witches and wizards.”

“Uh, yeah there is, cyborg.”

“No, there's not bird brain.”

“Yeah. There is, dumbass. She’s the one who does the hand thing and then there’s the crazy red glow around her? She’s got long hair? Dating the android?”

“There’s an android on the team?” Bucky was still getting to know everyone on the team, but he was positive he would know if there was a fucking android on the team.

“Yeah, the guy with the yellow glowy thing embedded in his forehead? Do you pay attention at all, Bucky? He’s dating Wanda, the witch with the red glowy hand thing?” Sam was waving his hands in front of his face and gesturing to his forehead.

“There’s no fucking way. Steve? Is there an android on the team?” Bucky turned to Steve, expecting an answer. All of the sudden, a red mass phased through the wall behind Steve. Vision appeared, looking quizzically around the room.

“Did someone ask for me?” His British accent carried through the room, once again causing the room to silence and turn to Bucky. Bucky’s lips were pursed, disgruntled that Sam was once again right in their little squabbles.

“Alright fine, but there’s not a witch right?”

“If you’re referring to Ms. Maximoff, then no. She simply manipulates molecular polarity allowing her to alter the reality around her.” Vision said it as if Bucky was meant to understand it. When in reality, Bucky was still getting over the fact fangirling that there was an android talking to him.

“However, if calling her a witch makes you more comfortable,” Vision paused and turned towards the doorway on the other end of the room, “I believe you should ask her permission before doing so.” He raised his hand causing Bucky to follow its direction.

“Hey Tony. Friday said you wanted to see me?” Wanda glided into the room, doing a quick survey of its occupants. Her gaze eventually landed on the vibrant being beside Steve. “Vis, you left in the middle of us making dinner. We’ve talked about that.”

“Yes, do forgive me, my love. However, I believe your expertise is required outside of the kitchen.” Wanda’s orbs flicked to Steve’s first and then to Tony’s, waiting for instructions.

“We want you to go inside Barnes’ mind and retrieve memories about someone for us.” Tony stated plainly. Bucky’s eyes widened and his fear grew. She can do that? Who the fuck was going to tell me that? Can she read my mind too? Is she listening now?

“That’s not exactly how it works, Tony.”

“It doesn’t matter because I never agreed to that, Stark.” Bucky said firmly. He was tired of his brain being put in a blender. He was finally getting comfortable in his own body again. He was gaining more and more control over his mind every day. Granted, he wasn’t sleeping because of the nightmares.

No, not nightmares, because of the memories. Why the fuck would he willingly subject himself to that during the daylight? No, his pain, though constant, was only to be shown at night, when he was completely alone and there’s no chance that he could hurt anyone else.

“If this is the only way that we can know for sure, then we need to do it.” Tony pushed, “You know I’m right, Cap. After what happened with the Sokovia Accords, even though they aren’t monitoring us as closely as they could be, they’re still watching. And if we storm in there without any good reason to, then it’s our asses on the line.”

“Hey, I don’t remember giving you authority over my brain. So what the fuck gives you the right to try and get me to do this shit?” Bucky stood as he spoke, “You’re heroes, goddamn it. It’s your fucking job to save people who need you to. So you should fucking do it. With or without a goddamn reason, you prick.” He shoved the chair away from him and stormed out of the room, passed Wanda who watched with a pained expression.

“He’s right, Tony.” Steve said quietly.

“About what, Cap?”

“We shouldn’t have to have a reason to do our jobs.”

“All I’m saying is that if he has information about this woman that could help us, we need to know it.” Tony glanced back to Wanda, “What if he’s enhanced like Wanda and Pietro and we go in there guns blazing. What happens if she perceives us as a threat? What then Cap?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, Tony.” Steve was the Captain, so ultimately it was his decision. This left Tony incredibly unsatisfied, giving him a reason to implement a plan of his own. “We leave tonight. Be ready to leave in three hours.”

The room emptied quickly, everyone having their own rituals to do before departing on a mission. Steve and Sam were the last to remain in the room. “Do you really think this is a good idea?” Sam asked in a hushed whisper.

“It’s the only one I got, Sam.”

“Are you going to let him come on the mission?” Steve made a face as he clenched his jaw. “I mean, Tony has a point. If he knows something, I think we should try to figure out what it is.”

“We can’t ask him to do that, Sam. You know we can’t.”

“I’m not saying that we should, but if you bring him on this mission and he remembers something in the heat of the moment?” Sam turned his body to fully face Steve, “What are we going to do then?” Sam brought up a valid point, but Steve knew he wouldn’t be able to stop Bucky from coming on the mission.

“Like I said, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

********************************

It was somewhat therapeutic for Bucky to be sharpening his knives. He sat quietly on one of the overstuffed couches in the compound’s common area. A wide array of matte black knives was laid out on the coffee table in front of him. He held one in his hand, raking it against a damp stone to create a slick silver edge on the blade. His solitude didn’t last long, not that he expected it to, especially here in the compound.

“Hi, I don’t think we’ve ever formally met. I’m Wanda.” She stuck her hand out for Bucky to shake which he did, with great caution. There is no telling what this woman is capable of. I don’t need to get too comfortable with her.

“Bucky.” He kept his replies short, in the hopes of deterring her from wanting to interact with him. He knows that is exactly what Steve and his therapist in Wakanda told him to stop doing, but that’s irrelevant.

“I know what Tony was suggesting for us to do isn’t ideal, Bucky.” Bucky shuddered unintentionally, his fear rolling off of him in waves. “I just wanted to let you know, I would never do that to you. Not unless you asked me to and even then I don’t know if I would.” Bucky turned his head to face her. She seemed sincere, but then again people are always rotten on the inside.

“I promise, I won’t.”

“I’ve heard one too many promises in my day, Wanda.” He shifted back to his original task, flipping another knife into the palm of his hand and dragging it along the stone. Wanda nods and lifts herself to her feet, about to retreat to the kitchen.

“It’s the nightmares, isn’t it?” Bucky froze mid-drag, eyes boring holes into the table in front of him, not responding to Wanda. “The reason you don’t want me in your head?”

“What do you know of nightmares, witch?” Bucky sneered defensively.

“You would be surprised what I know of nightmares, Bucky.” She approached the back of the couch, curling her hands around the plush fabric. “My brother, Pietro, and I, volunteered for the experiments with HYDRA.” Bucky whipped his head around to face her, immediately registering her on a higher threat level. She lifted her right hand and a glowing red ball danced between her fingers as dynamic vines licked up her palm.

“We thought that they were there to help after everything that we went through in Sokovia.” Her accent thickened with each word, “After Stark’s bomb didn’t go off, we thought it meant we were destined to take him down. So we went to the closest freedom fighter group we could find.”

Bucky watched as she dropped her hand, the red energy dissipating immediately. “We weren’t the only ones, though. There were hundreds of us. Pietro and I just so happened to be the ones that were able to withstand what they put us through.” Their eyes met, gaze holding as she continued speaking. “Then, I watched their future. And in their ideal future, we weren’t there. None of us. No Avengers or enhanced people. No humans whatsoever.” She swallowed thickly, “That’s when we knew they lied. We had suspicions earlier, but we just did what we were told so we could get what we wanted.”

“What exactly did you want?”

“We wanted Stark dead.” She held Bucky’s eyeline. “But now, my brother is dead. And all I want is to see HYDRA's downfall at my hands.” She glanced back down at her hands, “What Tony wanted me to do,” hesitating as she continued, “I know he just wants me to go through your memories and pick out the ones specific to Agent Libra, but that’s not how it works.” Bucky looked at her and then leaned back into the couch cushions, gesturing for her to continue. “The way that I would go about that would be to have you experience the whole thing over again.”

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean,” Wanda sucked in a deep breath, “It’s like a lucid dream. Your body would be moving and you wouldn’t be in control of it. Any action that you did at that particular moment in history would be reenacted exactly as it occurred.”

“So, if I were to do this, it would be like I was the Soldier again?”

“If that’s what it felt like, then yes.” A shiver ran up Bucky’s spine, he definitely didn’t want that. “I just wanted you to know what you would be getting yourself into if you did decide to allow me access to your memories.” A stiff nod was all she received in return.

He knows she’s just trying to be nice but he can’t help but want to run away and hide in a dark room. Bucky has been through so much because of that freedom fighter organization, he couldn’t fathom people actually volunteering their bodies for their twisted scientific experiments.

“Thanks for letting me know, Ms. Maximoff.” Even though Bucky wanted nothing to do with this woman next to him, his mother still raised him to be respectful of everyone.

“Oh, you can call me Wanda.” She smiled as she began her approach to the kitchen yet again. One thing was still nagging Bucky and he had to know the answer.

“Hey, quick question Wanda.” She stopped and turned to face him, sending a small hum in question towards him. “Are you a witch?”

Her head tilted thoughtfully, “Yes, I am.” She left it at that, leaving Bucky with wide eyes and a mouth that was hanging open. Goddamn it, I fucking hate it when Sam is right.

*****************************

watch your six tag list

@indigo123789 @austynparksandpizza 

#watch your six #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fan fiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #eventual bucky x reader #female reader insert #Sebastian stan #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes

[thinkinem]

cf headcanons that have been kicking around my brain for forever

I haven’t contributed to fandom since I was like 12, but I love these characters too much and I thought it’d be fun to actually jot down the little stories I tell myself in the tags. 

and like, drop a line if you want to hear more about something or w a “prompt” 

Casey and Severide used to be a Thing. 

it was a long time ago and never super serious, but after tough calls as candidates they’d meet up for drinks and then just kinda not let each other go until the morning

it also made sense bc Andy and Heather were together pretty much since the first day of the academy and then all their other mutual friends found themselves significant others. So Casey and Sev ended up being the “perpetually single” friends at all the gatherings and it always made the grin and bear it at those things easier when you knew you weren’t really alone

Andy knew pretty much from the get but never said anything

eventually Kelly met Rene and Matt met Hallie and their Thing ended if you can end a Thing that never really existed past beers in a crowded bar and slow mornings with the bedroom door locked and jammed shut

(they picked it up again exactly twice: when Rene walked away and when Matt and Hallie broke it off for the third--but not last--time)

and even though it was never any thing More, it’s twelve years later and Matt can make Kelly’s morning coffee better than anyone else in the house and Kelly knows exactly how far Matt can get pushed before he has to loop an arm around his chest and pull him away before Matt risks a conduct unbecoming

Losing Andy was tough. Ten years later and Kelly still feels a tug of guilt for how he treated Matt those long months afterward. Except, a small, ugly part deep down inside him has never let him really apologize to Matt (because Andy was his best friend, dammit) so now he just overcompensates by being the occasional mother hen and the older brother that Matt had in Andy and deserves in Severide 

Kelly lets it slip to Stella that he and Casey used to have...Something. She’s remarkably unsurprised and that makes Kelly a little indignant because “hey! I’m a catch and in case you haven’t noticed, Case has zero game!” which of course got him “Kelly, you know his locker combo by heart, you don’t even know mine”

Matt’s dyslexic. 

not officially actually, there was a note in his school file starting in 2nd grade that it would probably be a good idea to get him tested but “there’s no way in Sam Hell that any son of mine is gonna be called slow for the rest of his life. Matthew is fine, and if he’s behind the other children it’s because he isn’t working hard enough. His mother coddles him you know”

Sylvie thinks it would be fun for them to start cooking a new dish every week from around the world and Matt gets into the habit of memorizing the recipes the night before because the idea of struggling through reading aloud in front of Sylvie Brett makes his hands sweat

she’s picks up on it eventually because she is Sylvie Brett after all and immediately starts researching and by the end of the month Matt has tried four different “reading and writing strategies” which also makes his palms sweat but more in a holy shit this woman sees all of me and takes to google and not the door what did I do to possibly deserve this kind of way

(it takes zero time at all for Boden to notice the difference in the speed and spelling of Casey’s incident reports and if the guy wasn’t still turning in godawful chicken scratch he would have started accusing Kylie of running a boon)

Four weeks after Matt and Sylvie finally Get It Together, Matt buys a house

which is to say Matt’s name is on the deed and Sylvie gets to live out her wildest HGTV fantasies 

they discover water damage in the attic and also that Matt has a serious thing for Sylvie in beat up jeans and one of his ancient academy hoodies (which means they also discover Sylvie’s skin is too sensitive to take even a quick roll on a $10 drop cloth but the store sells all natural organic ones for just 2 bucks extra and “Sylvie, babe, it’s definitely worth the investment, trust me”

The house is livable after 5 months of hard work and Matt never really asks Sylvie to move in it just becomes “when we get home” and not “I’ll meet you at the house” and a frankly inequitable split of closet space because “I like hanging stuff better so I can see all my choices thank you very much, Mr. Jeans-and-a-henley” (”I should’ve known you don’t like my clothes seeing how you’re always so eager to toss them on the floor”)

they spend the whole reno calling the third bedroom the office except neither of them even think about buying a desk and it’s a good thing too because 6 months after their first time hosting a party as homeowners Casey and Severide are three beers deep each assembling a crib each because “damn Case, you can never do things by halves huh?

Stella and Kelly get married on Molly’s back patio on a warm summer night in July four months after Stella found the ring in Kelly’s bedside drawer looking for a phone charger

Kelly nearly had a panic attack when she ran into the kitchen and thrust the ring box at his face with a triumphant smile because “Dammit, Stella, I had a speech and a nice bottle of champagnes and everything, --and stop laughing at me!” 

Boden walks Stella down the aisle and Terrance is right there next to him when he gets back to his seat but he’s known with absolute certainty that it’s been years and years since he’d answer “just one” if a stranger were to ask how many children he raised

Casey buy’s Sev’s first beer at Molly’s every night for the first full year of his happy marriage to make good on a bet they made with Andy in the academy

Mouch doesn’t have official Godfather title to any of the Hermann kids. But he doesn’t really mind because it means he can come over and wind those monsters up and then leave without an ounce of guilt. (When Hermann falls through the floor of that house with Casey Mouch starts packing his freezer with kid pleasing frozen meals because the job is risky and it’s always better to be prepared than not).

Mouch and Sylvie write a sequel to Sheets On Fire and it goes viral in the erotic fire-fiction community.

(Once, at family dinner, Severide looks Sylvie dead in the eyes and quotes the opening line of Chapter 6. Sylvie chokes on her rosé because maybe Severide (the bastard) really was interested in having a legitimate discussion about hose coiling techniques, but she just has to doubt it.)

#chicago fire #chicago fire fic #matt casey #kelly severide #sylvie brett #stella kidd #mouch #wallace boden #casey x severide #stellaride #brettsey #firehouse 51 #chicago fire headcanons #not me being nervous about posting this lol #really came out strong w the first one being Gay Rights (as I should thanks) #for real though these are just for fun and I claim no intense knowledge of cf canon if these directly contradict something

[delos-mio]

Out of the Woods - College!AU - PART 2

A/N: Part 2! I hope you enjoy this chapter. No major warnings apply! Thoughts, feelings, predictions always welcome <3

***

After dropping you off that evening, Nikolai found his mind to be running a mile a minute. It was 1am, relatively early by college standards, but he had no desire to go back to the party and no desire to go home. Instead, he walked around campus until his feet throbbed. He thought about your smile and your laugh, the way you bit your lip and the way you toyed with the ends of your hair. He thought about how you could very well be in the arms of another man right now.

He could have lived without that mental image.

It seemed wild to him that you could make so many feelings flood back to him in such a short amount of time. It hit him like a ton of bricks the moment you locked eyes, and it was instantly like the last 5 years of silence never even happened. God, he wished they never happened. How could he have been so cruel? Who just up and left the person they were very clearly falling in love without a trace? Nikolai, that’s who. And under the penetrating glow of the moon, for the next six or so hours, Nikolai hated himself for it.

Nikolai quietly tried to sneak back into the apartment he shared with Aleks around 7am. Generally, he was a pretty heavy sleeper, so he figured it’d be no problem. As the front door clicked shut behind him, another door clicked open inside the apartment. Alina, clad in only one of Aleks’s shirts, exited his room and immediately jumped upon seeing Nikolai. He quickly averted his eyes and turned his attention to the ceiling, trying to look anywhere but at the half-naked girl before him.

“So, I take it he wasn’t too upset I left the party early?” he asked before she blushed and quickly padded down the hall to the bathroom.

Nikolai pushed his hair back from his face and shook his head. Of course Aleks had company. He made his way to his room and let the back of his knees hit the mattress, flopping onto his back. His eyes fluttered shut as he mulled over the events of the evening. He knew he needed to turn his brain off and actually try to get some sleep, but that was still proving to be rather difficult. As he was getting lost in his own thoughts, he was interrupted by his door being flung open and Aleks leaning in his door frame.

“Do you mind? I’m really tired,” Nikolai grumbled, still not opening his eyes.

“You dog! You got home later than me,” he said with a smile evident in his voice.

“It’s not like that. You’ll notice I didn’t bring anyone home with me, now did I?” Nikolai was starting to get irritated by his roommate’s presence and hoped he’d leave him in peace and quiet sooner rather than later.

“Maybe not. But you could have. Seemed like you and Genya’s new roommate had something going on,” he pried.

“Can you fuck off? Respectfully?”

“Alright, alright. I’ll let you sleep. But you’re gonna tell me about her when you wake up.” With that, Nikolai heard his door shut again, leaving him in the stillness of his room. He fell asleep half hanging off the bed where he landed with the girl who got away on his mind.

----

When you woke up the next morning, Nikolai was still fresh on your mind. The way he smiled, the way he smelled…everything about him haunted your dreams. It didn’t even take a full minute before the guilt settled in. Jesus Christ, what were you thinking? Did Matt cease to exist because your first love cropped up out of nowhere? You just started flirting with Nikolai again like it was as easy as breathing. But you couldn’t help yourself—Nikolai had worked his way into your head instantly just like he had when you were 17. Like the first time you saw him take off his helmet, shake out his perfect, golden hair, and skate to the bench. It had been a wrap since that moment. You groaned into your pillow, feeling a little nauseous and a lot guilty. After freshening up and pulling a sweatshirt on, you wandered out into the living room of your apartment with Genya where she was eagerly chatting with Zoya over a cup of coffee.

“Fancy seeing you here, ditcher,” Genya teased as you grabbed a mug for yourself.

“I didn’t ditch,” you said. “Nik told you guys we were leaving.”

“Where’d you end up anyways?” Genya asked with a tiny smirk. This line of questioning amused Zoya and she gladly joined in on the antagonizing.

“I can only assume, knowing him, that you ended up somewhere more...private,” Zoya interjected.

“It wasn’t like that. I um, we ended up just going to get some food. Catch up or whatever,” you said while you shot daggers at Genya. You paused to take a sip of the too-hot drink before continuing. “Where have you been hiding Nikolai anyways?”

“He ain’t hiding- have you met the dude? I met him during Freshman orientation. Zoya and I lived in the dorm room next to him and Aleks,” she said as a matter of fact. “We’ve been hanging out ever since. Real good guy.”

“I know,” you sighed, pushing around a pen that was left on the coffee table.

“You like him! Oh man, I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about him being totally your type. You and your pretty boys. Mhmm, I bet he liked you too,” Genya teased and smiled again.

“No, he’s just an old friend,” you lied. “I have a boyfriend.”

“Could have fooled me,” Zoya mumbled, but you caught it. The comment did nothing to ease the growing knot in your stomach.

“Seriously. He’s my friend. I kinda got carried away with the flirting last night, but I was so excited to see him, you know?” You looked at them both, silently pleading with them to let it drop. “We’re just friends. Nothing else.”

“That may be true now, but the dude has it bad for you. I saw the way he looked at you, dude,” Genya said softly, finally sympathetic to your anguish. “Can I ask how you know each other? Besides ‘high school or something’?”

“We didn’t even go to school together.” You leaned back into the cushions, letting your focus drift away from the girls across from you. “My parents own an ice rink in my hometown and I’d work the concession stand when I got out of school- do my homework and pour hot chocolate or whatever. Nik played hockey with his high school team there.” You smiled to yourself. “I saw him come off the ice one day and thought he was the most handsome boy I’d ever seen. And one night, he walked right up to me after practice and started talking to me like we’d known each other forever. I didn’t have a ton of friends in school and hadn’t really been noticed by boys like...ever. So to have this super hot dude flirting with me was wild.”

“Oh my god, was Nik your first crush?” Genya squealed.

“I’d had a couple guys that caught my eye before him, but he was the first guy I really liked. First guy I kissed. First guy I…” you trailed off, letting the pause speak for itself.

“No wonder he was so happy to see you,” Zoya said.

“He kinda ghosted me when he left for college and I hadn’t talked to him since the last night we were together. I was too scared to try and find him on Facebook or anything. I didn’t want to see him with other girls hanging all over him and hurt my own feelings, you know?” Genya and Zoya exchanged a sympathetic look. “Anyways, that’s about it. Pretty boring stuff.”

“Babe…”

“I gotta start getting ready for work,” you said, abruptly standing and putting your mug in the sink. “I’ll see you guys later.” With that, you shuffled out of the room, hoping neither of them caught the hitch in your voice. So, maybe you weren’t as over that ghosting as you thought you were.

----

The weekend passed with a lot of idle time thinking about when you could possibly see Nikolai again. You were really regretting not scrawling your number somewhere for him. It was torture not knowing how to find him again outside of groveling to Genya, or hoping dumb luck would make you run into him.

You made it to Monday morning and somehow managed to make it to your 8:30 am class on time; a rare feat for you. Thankfully, the class was all engaged in a lively discussion of what constituted a modern classic novel, so it was easy to stay alert and engaged. Before you knew it, your professor was dismissing you and reminding you all about the paper that was due on Thursday. You shuffled down the stairs of the academic building and paused once you got to the quad. Normally, you’d head home for a few hours before your afternoon class, but you had a little time to spare today before your study group. But you also had Nikolai’s face burned in your mind. Would it be totally weird to try to find him?

The building that housed Science and History was only a quarter mile from your classroom, so you made quick work of the walk and tried to hype yourself up, telling yourself that it was normal to want to see him this bad- you’d missed out on a few years there! Of course you wanted to see your friend. When you got inside, you realized you had no idea where you were going. You had yet to take any sort of History class while at school and had absolutely no idea if he was even in class at this time. God, this was seeming like a dumber and dumber idea the more you walked around. After wandering aimlessly for a minute, you saw a familiar head of effortlessly messy golden hair slink out of a classroom.

Immediately, your eye was drawn to him. You were thankful he didn’t notice your presence because you were definitely staring. All weekend, you were sure you had a picture-perfect vision of him in your head, but you were abruptly reminded that he was much more handsome than you could dream up. He had traded in his button down shirt from the other night for a cozy looking grey sweater. You allowed yourself one more moment to admire him from afar before you approached. But Nikolai had turned to face you straight on, face lighting up the moment he saw you.

“I was wondering when you’d come around.” You could hear the smile in his voice.

“So, you don’t think I’m crazy for wandering around a building I’ve literally never set foot in, hoping by cosmic timing you’d be here?” you smirked.

“I promise you, I don’t think you’re crazy. I mean, I was considering doing something quite similar myself,” You couldn’t stop the heat that started to rise in your cheeks.

“So, where are you headed now?” you asked, rocking on your heels.

“Well,” he pondered, “I was going to meet Aleks at The Moose if you’re walking that way.”

“I’m not, but I have a couple minutes before I have to be at my study group if you want to sit outside,” you offered.

“Of course, darling,” he grinned, hazel eyes playful as you found a bench next to the bike rack. “How was your weekend?”

“Not bad,” you shrugged. “I had to work both days, but it was pretty slow, so no complaints. I only got grilled by Genya and Zoya a little. It could have been a lot worse,” you smiled.

“They do love any information they can get their little hands on,” Nikolai said, leaning back into the bench. “You...didn’t see Matt at all?” he probed, trying with all his might to look and sound nonchalant, but failing.

“Why do you want to know?”

“Can I not take an interest in you?” he asked with gentle eyes, but you just glowered.

“No. I didn’t see Matt this weekend. We haven’t even talked since Friday, honestly,” you said. Nikolai didn’t interject at all, just looked at you to go on, if you felt like sharing. “We haven’t really been getting along lately. He’s a nice guy and all, but I don’t know how much we have in common. And he never seems to have time for me unless it’s on his terms. Like, he expects me to be available whenever it works for him, but he’s always conveniently busy if I ask him to do anything with me.” You kicked at a rock near your toe, eyes fixed on the ground, totally unsure why you just told Nikolai all that.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said sincerely. “I’m saying this as your friend,” he started, making you look in his eyes again. “You deserve someone who understands what a gift it is to spend time with you.” It was so simple, but it made tears instantly spring in your eyes. “Hey. Hey, now. None of that,” he smiled, thumbing a tear away. “Would you maybe want to come over Friday? Get pizza and watch a movie or something?”

“That sounds really nice, Nik,” you nodded. It was then he broke into a blinding smile and you were unable to stop the swirling in your belly.

“Could I—would I be able to get your number? So I can send you my address or whatever,” he added quickly; you were really starting to love seeing him get flustered.

“I think that’s a good idea, yeah.” You reached for some scrap paper and pencil from your bag and scribbled down your number, placing it in the palm of his large hands before standing up. His fingers just barely brushed yours as he took the paper before stowing it away in the front pocket of his jeans. “You can always use that number before Friday too, if you want,” you said with a sly smile and patted Nikolai’s cheek gently. His laugh carried a bit as you walked opposite directions out of the quad, your feet feeling like they were being carried by tiny, pink fluffy clouds.

Fuck. Did you just set up a date with Nikolai? No. No, not a date. Just two friends eating pizza and watching movies. Friends did that all the time.

But as you walked to the cafe where your study group met, there was a crashing wave of guilt that washed over you. What the fuck were thinking? All you were doing was playing with fire, practically begging fate to burn you. You were mentally beating yourself up, feeling like a total shit bag as you pushed open the door to the small cafe, seeing your group already gathered and breaking off into pairs, Matt beaming at you when you came into view.

“Hi, baby,” he said, kissing your cheek as you sat down next to him.

“Hey,” you smiled back with tight lips, hardly able to look at him.

You started going through notes for an upcoming Logic and Reasoning exam, but you found yourself unable to process anything you were reading. Your mind was elsewhere and you only managed half-hearted affirmations and hardly contributed any correct answers. Here Matt was, sweet and excited to see you. He was good, he was nice. Maybe you just needed to make more of an effort with him. Should he really want to do the things you wanted to do, or were you being selfish? You weren’t sure.

“Something wrong?” he asked suddenly, snapping you from your thoughts.

“Just don’t feel good, that’s all,” you shrugged, looking back at your notebook and computer. He accepted that answer and didn’t probe any further.

“So, you should come over Friday. I don’t have anyone else to hang out with and thought we could hang out,” he said into your ear, hand gripping your thigh.

“Can’t,” you said with a shake of your head. “I already have plans.”

“Oh there’s a surprise,” he said, half under his breath. And that...that was it. You immediately slammed your pen onto the table and looked at him with hard eyes.

“Would you just say whatever you’re trying to fucking say?” you seethed.

“Just seems awfully convenient that every time we’re supposed to do anything, suddenly you have plans with I don’t even know who” he said, clearly annoyed. “All I’ve done is try to accommodate you and do what you want, but that doesn’t seem to be enough,” he added with a melodramatic sigh, which was more than enough to set you off.

“Oh, that’s a fucking joke, right?” you laughed. “Maybe you’d know more about my schedule if you ever bothered to talk to me more than once a week. And you literally just said I should come over because no one else can! Like, I’m your girlfriend- I shouldn’t be your last ditch option,” you scoffed. “You know what? I can’t be here right now. Call me when you’re ready to rejoin all of us in reality.” With that, you grabbed your bag and stormed out the door, letting your feet take you quickly in any direction that was simply away. No, you were right about what you said to Nikolai- Matt only saw you as convenient.

Friday couldn’t come soon enough.

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #shadow and bone #grishaverse #nikolai lantsov imagine #nikolai lantsov au #nikolai lantsov fanfic #shadow and bone au #shadow and bone fanfiction #ootw #masterlist

[delightfulfiresoulweasel]

DAYdreaming a Kevaaron AU

This is an Kevaaron Singer Aaron! AU I came up with from crazy brain storming and, well, ended up here so I hope it will be enjoyed as much as I enjoyed it in my head. Kevin and Aaron break up, Aaron scribbles down lyrics instead of class notes and his Med school friend notices, takes Aaron to a studio to compose the music and create songs, because its better than Aaron relapsing, and one night without telling Aaron, posts the songs on Soundcloud. And what if Exy finals had half time performances like Super Bowl finals does, and they asked Aaron to perform as Kevin'’ team were in the finals. 

(I will be using songs and lyrics that does not belong to me; songs: MrLoverman, Burning, Falling, Till Forever Falls Apart, One Last Song) 

Kevin and Aaron are dating, Aaron is in med school, Kevin is a successful exy player living in Chicago. One day, while Aaron is visiting Kevin, they fight over something very small, the argument starts getting heated, both of them bringing up the issues they have been repressing. The argument turns into a shouting match until Kevin tells Aaron that he doesn't have time for this. Aaron leaves Kevin'’ flat, books himself a flight ticket on his way to the airport and calls his friend, Jason, to come pick him up. 

They don't talk for a month. Neither of them text or call each other. They don't tell any of the Foxes about the breakup either. But it becomes obvious when Aaron doesn't show up to Kevin'’ game that is in his city.

Aaron used to go to every single one of Kevin'’ games when it was in his city, fly over to the most important ones as support. 

The reporters and sport commenters loved Aaron. He would sometimes join Kevin in his post game interviews, Kevin'’ arm wrapped around his shoulders. The fans also waited for the pre-game kiss that became a ritual for the couple. Kevin climbing the bleachers as Aaron draped himself over the railing to reach Kevin'’ mouth, for a good luck kiss. After the game, the photo would circulate all through twitter, fan accounts making a collage of the gathered photos. 

So when Aaron did not show up to Kevin'’ game that was in his city, the Foxes knew. Aaron'’ phone was blowing up with messages even before the game started. He wasn't at the stadium but he was watching it on TV at home. 

He had many texts from Nicky, asking to know if Kevin and him were broken up.  Matt, Dan, Renee, Allison, Robin and Katelyn were all equally concerned. 

Andrew called him, he picked it up. "What did he do?" "Nothing." Aaron had said. "Nothing?" Andrew had huffed. "Leave it, we broke up but I still love him, no one is to blame." Aaron had said before he hung up. 

He was disconnected in classes, too busy scribbling down words swimming in his head than concentrating in his classes. Jason, his new found friend, which was a foreign concept to Aaron, had noticed. Taking one glance at Aaron'’ notebook, he had realised that these were potential song lyrics. He had an idea. 

Aaron was not happy being dragged by his sleeve by Jason. They were stood in front of a beat-up studio. 

"I have no idea why we are here" he had said. Jason had smiled. 

Sitting on the piano, Jason snatched Aaron'’ notebook from his book. He knew a friend, who knew a friend that owned a studio. Jason had thought it would be good for Aaron if he sang his heart out. He knew Aaron was a good singer from the few times they went to Karaoke together. 

They had spent the whole night at the studio, composing a melody to Aaron'’ first song. 

I am MrLoverman, and I miss my lover man. 

Jason could hear the hurt in Aaron'’ voice, voice cracking, the shaky breathing when he was too close to tears, the tremble in his hands and the distance in his eyes as he was lost in thought, thinking of better times. 

The second song was harder than the first. It was filled with more emotions and truth. It was a pleading, a cry for a voice to be heard. Openly stating that he wanted his lover back. The sweet melody of Aaron'’ voice making the song both a weapon that created a wound in your heart and the balm that licked to wound closed. 

Oh, have you ever called I will burst straight back Give you my forgiveness And the shirt off my back

Jason had asked one night between recording sessions, the studio was their new stop place now. After every class they would rush to the studio, some musicians that were there just to jam had heard Aaron'’ voice, they were captured by it. Aaron was the Nine Muses ( yes all nine of them) and the audience was mesmerised.  He asked if he were to ever release an album that had these songs in it, what Aaron would name it. 

After a pause, Aaron answered between laughing fits that he would name it DAYdreaming, get it, Kevin Day and he was dreaming of him 24/7. Jason laughed but thought it would be a great marketing name. 

As Aaron wrote, the songs were getting more and more detailed and personal, they were all the words he couldn't speak before. 

Forget what I said It's not what I meant And I can't take it back

He had not meant to say half of the things he had said to Kevin a month ago, looking back, he knew they were simple things that could have been solved if they had just spoke, if Aaron had just been brave enough to start the conversation.

But he had been too scared, scare that he would lose Kevin over something so simple, so he avoided the topics, and at the end, he still lost him. 

Aaron had hated California, the place full of memories of his mother, a torturous life Andrew had endured, the missed years both of them could have had as brothers. But Kevin had changed that, the memories were still there but now, accompanied by happy ones Kevin had created for him. 

If the tide takes California I’m so glad I got to hold ya

They had stood on the beach, wrapped in each others arms, looking at the horizon as the sun set, Kevin whispering future plans for the both of them into Aaron'’ ear. Aaron had smiled to all of them, some ridiculous, some too good to be true ideas, but he did not mind, because in all of them, Kevin and Aaron were stood together. 

And if the sky falls from heaven above Oh I know I had the best time falling into love

All of these studio sessions, all of these songs, they were all for Kevin, for over a month, he had dedicated all his time to create the perfect songs that reflected his truest feelings about Kevin, his regrets, his cries for lost love. He loved Kevin, and it did not scare him anymore, his love for Kevin.

Maybe one day I won't sing about you

But he did, he always would, did not matter if Kevin resented him or welcomed him with open arms, he would sing about Kevin for the rest of his life like a broken vinyl.

I know you don't want to talk to me So this is what I will do Maybe you're listening So here's one last song for you

He knew he would never post these songs anywhere, or send them to Kevin, but he had hoped deep down in his chest that somehow these lyrics would be carried out to Kevin. 

They eventually run out of lyrics and music to combine, Aaron knew he had to leave this behind him. His true love, buried away in his make shift song lyrics. He closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep with something missing inside him. Jason did not

That night, he uploaded their album, DAYdreaming by Aaron Minyard and the medics ( get it, med students) on SoundCloud. He had watched Aaron crumble under the loss of Kevin, voice booming into the microphone as if he was calling out to Kevin, hoping his voice reached his ears. Jason hoped someone, a fan, might discover it, and the album got carried out to Kevin. 

What he did not expect was the insane success. Aaron had an angelic voice, now the whole world knew. They were listening to his heartbreak over and over again, tagging Kevin, asking what had happened, millions were relating to Aaron, crying to his hurt, his story, his voice. 

Aaron however was fuming mad, he could have strangled Jason. The Foxes were blowing his phone up, agencies calling him to sing a contract with him, many gig and concert offers. 

He accepted a few small radio'’ interview proposals, with Jason by his side, explaining that he had written those songs only for himself, and his nosy friend had went out of his way to leak them online. 

But the rush did not die, in fact, it only got bigger as Exy finals game was approaching. Kevin'’ team was against Andrew and Neil'’ team. The match alone would have created a big deal, but now with the breakup and the album drama, all eyes were on how Aaron'’ twin would react to Kevin on court. 

Aaron did not want to Foxes taking sides, he had said it to all of them personally, texted in the group chat where Kevin could see, mentioned it in interviews. They were a family, and Kevin'’ and his break up should not mess their hard found family. 

The finals were a big event all on its own, but it got even fired up when Aaron was offered to perform in the half time show. Aaron was shocked, Jason was delighted. He said yes, and Aaron, feeling prideful from the support his songs were getting, said yes as well. 

Andrew was not pleased, Neil was very much amused, and he could imagine that Kevin was fuming. 

Aaron was shaking with nerves on the finals day. Nicky had flown from Germany as support to both Andrew and Aaron. All the Foxes were lined up in VIP seats, but no one was there for the big game and all of them knew it. 

Aaron briefly made eye contact with Kevin right before the game. Kevin was flexing his broken hand, a nervous habit he had, meeting Aaron'’ eyes, he stopped. Aaron smiled at him, a warm, gentle smile. Kevin'’ hand relaxed, he smiled back. 

The first half of the game passed as a blur for Aaron, he was having a hard time focusing on the players and the game as time got closer to half time whistle. Jason was stood right next to him, Nicky'’ hand a grounding presence on his shoulder. Eric was there too, he hugged Aaron tight before he got on stage, in front of millions. 

Aaron did not do this, he was not a singer, he was supposed to focus on his classes and stay out of drama. Not perform for the whole world to see. 

The songs were lined up from less painful to more painful ones, ending with One Last Song.

Under the blinding lights, Aaron could not see anyone else but the microphone in front of him. He sang, with all his heart, he sang. The crowd was wild, screaming his every word back to him. Aaron had never felt this kind of ecstasy, not with drugs, not on Exy court. This was all him. 

The last song, was the hardest to sing, after singing all his heartbreaking songs one after other, laying all his hurt, truth, mistakes and regrets in front of millions, he was emotional for the last song. 

Maybe one day I won't sing about you I'll sing a song about someone new But right here, right now You are on my mind And I think about you all the time I'm sending a message to you And I'm hoping that it will get through

Oh, the message was getting through all right, the person that needed to hear this was standing right on this court, Aaron'’ insides made a move, as if he was going to throw up. He closed his eyes. The part that hurt him most was approaching.

In case you hear this Then know you're the love of my life Want to tell you I'm sorry I miss having you by my side When you were mine

He was getting chocked up, the tears burning, no longer able to contain them behind his closed eyes, he opened them, momentarily blinded by the stage lights. 

He did not see the person climbing up the platform, he did not hear anything over his own heart beating. 

When it was good it was bitterswe...

He was cut short, strong hands holding his shoulders, turning him around, he was facing Kevin. His hair slicked back with sweet, cheeks glistened with tears. 

Aaron knew his was also covered in sweat, tears running down his cheeks. Kevin cupped his face in his strong hands, Aaron leaned into the touch. 

Kevin bent down, closing the distance between them and kissing Aaron, heavy and bruising, too possessive, too longingly. Aaron smiled into the kiss, messing it up, but he did not mind. He wrapped his arms around Kevin'’ neck and kissed back just as hard. 

The crowd was screaming, Jason was whooping from where he was on the stage but none of it mattered, Aaron'’ world was Kevin and Kevin only. 

#all for the game #aaron minyard #kevin day #kevaaron #all for the game imagines #aftg #aftg textpost #kevaaron supremacy #singer au #AU

[honestlyzenoouh]

The Friendship I never knew I needed

Okay, new headcanon time because I read a post about Aaron and Neil begrudging friendship, and now this thing won’t leave my brain. It sorta grew legs and kept on going, sorry. Featuring twinyard forced bonding, Neil being an asshole and Katelyn being sneaky.

Okay, so we know that Neil doesn’t really care for Katelyn. But like, sometime in Neil’s 3’rd year and the girls have left him he shows up to one of his maths classes and like, Katelyn is there??

Katelyn is super smart as well as athletic, the whole deal. And one time one of her TA’s were like, okay this class might actually challenge you, but won’t take up all of your time. Might be fun.

And Katelyn is like, alright imma try.

The first two weeks Katelyn doesn’t even notice she shares the class with Neil, it is that big.

When she does though, it’s because the professor is writing a thing on the board (it’s early, I don’t wanna do actual maths rn), slightly incorrect, and she really wants to point it out, but also doesn’t wanna be rude and affect her grade.

Neil doesn’t have such worries and just sorta not quite yell but loudly points it out... might’ve used a cuss word or two as well, whoops

Katelyn was like thank god someone said something, she was sat clinching all muscles not to say anything.

Then she clocks who said it and was like, huh, I might do something about this. He is someday gonna be my family so might as well start wearing him down now, instead of later.

Also, perfect excuse to actually start up a conversation, sharing a class.

So a couple of weeks after that, when Katelyn has had some time to think, and Neil thinks he’s safe, she strikes.

They are appointed some homework, and she has positioned herself so she can see Neils face in the lecture hall (without it being obvious) and Neil’s eyebrow pinch the tiniest bit together. Now is the time.

She gently approaches him a little sheepish, “could we maybe form a little study group for this class? I don’t really know anyone here, and I don’t really understand the concept for this bit”

Neil, a little suspicious but also completely lost on this subject “would you be able to meet in the library on Tuesdays at 4?”

She says yes of course and dances a bit internally.

The first like, 3 study sessions are completely awkward and stilted, but somehow they work really well together academically? Who knew?

It’s in the fourth meet-up that the ice breaks. Katelyn arrives a bit winded, with a half of cup of coffee and just starts to enthusiastically rant about this complete asshole who cut in line at the coffee place, and then the girl who tripped her on the way into the building but wouldn’t apologize and they got in an argument and then so on about every bad thing for the past week

And Neil is just hooked on her rant. He is reminded a bit of Dan and her ranting about sexist assholes in sports and he really misses her, but why should that stop him from making new friends?

So he stops fighting it and actually talks to the girl. Turns out, they have a lot in common. Including complaining about their significant Minyard. They love them, but oh my lord are they petty and annoying.

From there on out, Tuesdays becomes their hang out day. Even when the semesters over and they don’t have that class anymore. Just Katelyn and Neil becoming unlikely best friends (sorry Matt, it wasn’t on purpose), and telling each other everything. She is the first one outside of the foxes to see his scars.

She didn’t flinch. But she quietly seethes for days afterwards. Aaron tipped him off by complaining about Katelyns bad mood to Kevin (not that he cared) and he overheard it. They had a talk and only grew tighter.

Fast forward like, a year and a half, and Aaron really wanna meet this person. And Katelyn really wants her bf and bff to have a bond as well, but considering all of the bitching she hears about Josten this and Josten that, she had taking to keep referring to Neil as that person I meet in this class, or her nickname for Neil (it’s buggy, because he keeps on bugging her with more maths) to keep the peace.

Also, gender-neutral terms to keep the jealousy at bay. He’s not that bad, but better safe than sorry. Neil means a lot to her now.

But finally she snaps; “fine, you can meet buggy. But only if they agree to meet you too”

“Why wouldn’t they agree to meet your boyfriend?”

“You’re annoying, and I complain about you a lot.”

“You what?”

Anywayyyys.

Neil of course agrees, but only if he can bring Andrew as well. “He’ll play nice, I promise! No knives or hairpulling”

Aaron is really excited to finally meet Buggy. They really mean a lot to Katelyn and makes her happy. And who makes her happy, make him happy too

Andrew is very curious about Neil’s supposed new best friend. Turns out, Neil also hasn’t disclosed exactly who it is, but Andrew hasn’t outright asked him about it so.. It’s his own fault, really

The meeting goes a little like this:

Neil and Katelyn is at their weekly hangout, this time at a coffee shop around campus, and both text their S.M(significant Minyard) where to meet up. Andrew arrives first and just stands in the doorway when he catches sight of the twin redheads sitting and laughing about something. Neither has noticed him yet

Debating just walking out again, he hears a soft but earnest “are you fucking kidding me”

Turns out Aaron was just as surprised and lowkey mindfucked. They catch each other’s eyes and have their first mental conversation

“Well shit, now we have get along with each other’s S.R’s (significant redhead). Also did you know? No? Thank god I wasn’t the only one”

Katelyn turns around as her Aaron senses has gone off, and spies the twins just looking at each other totally defeated. Then turning to Neil like,

“Did you not tell Andrew about me? Because he is doing the same face Aaron is currently doing, and I didn’t tell him exactly who he was meeting today other than my best friend”

“Whoops, might’ve forgotten. They look kinda emotionally constipated... For how long do you think Aaron is gonna complain about it’s me?”

“Two weeks at least, how about Andrew with me?”

“He’s just gonna passive aggressively stare at me with snide comments every now and then until I buy him a tub of ice cream in apology. I give it 6 months for Aaron to laugh at I joke I made without making that face afterwards”

“You’re on, it’s gonna take him 9 at least”

It took 5 and a half months, and 2 years for Katelyn to get Andrew to huff his version of a laugh at all.

Just, Neil and Katelyn being besties and forcing the twinyards to accept and maybe even like each others S.R’s whilst also getting a better relationship out of it. Also; Aaron is now cursed into saying buggy instead of Josten or Neil, and he hates it. Until he doesn’t of course.

#I really don't know what happened with this #i also maybe wanna do a part two with Aaron and Neil? possibly a Katelyn Andrew as well #let me knooooow #all for the game #all for the gay #aftg #andreil #if you squint #Kevin has a small cameo #my writing #Zenoouh writes #what is aaron and Katelyn's shipname? #aaron x katelyn

[ahockeywrites]

Chapter 1 - St Louis, Missouri

“And, I think that’s the last of it,” Addison exclaimed as she cut the parcel tape. She was moving from her hometown St Louis to Edmonton, Alberta to start her graduate job as an engineer. It wasn’t something she thought she would be doing with her physics degree as she had aimed to go into nuclear physics but MIT, her alma mater, was offering jobs at specific companies for selected students and she happened to be one of them. The selection wasn’t particularly broad but she always took certainty over ambiguity.

Addison Silver had grown up in St Louis to a hockey obsessed father and mother. Hockey obsessed probably wasn’t the right thing to say when her father was on the coaching staff of the St Louis Blues and her mother worked as a lawyer for the team, but it did mean she had a lot of contact with hockey players.

Her first introduction to the Tkachuk family was when Keith was traded to St Louis and they moved in a few doors down the road. She had just started kindergarten and was in the phase of introducing herself to everyone she could see, which included Matthew and Brady, who’s short legs struggled to catch the two older children.

As Addison was an only child, one of her few outlets of seeing other children was at kindergarten and the children of players. The latter were always her favourite as it was almost guaranteed that they shared the love of hockey that ran blood deep within her family.

Her first time on the ice, she was 5. Her dad didn’t want her to accidently hurt herself on the ice as she was prone to falling over almost anything. It was a family skate and as her dad tied up her skates, she saw a curly headed boy skating laps at speeds she wished she could. Taking her father’s hand, she tentatively walked on the blades to the ice. “Now, Addie, remember, bend your knees and don’t look down,” her father told her with a smile. She hesitantly nodded as a response. She was scared, but anything the boys could do, she could at least try to emulate.

Slowly, but surely, she gained confidence quickly on the ice and within 15 minutes she joined her curly headed friend skating laps around the rink. However, there was one thing her dad had forgotten to teach her. How to stop. It was a split second decision, crash into the boards or crash into Matthew. She chose to crash into Matthew. Luckily, she was small so didn’t cause him too much harm. “Sorry,” she mumbled. “Maybe I should learn to stop.”

“Don’t worry,” he said, offering her his hand, “we all have to learn at some point.” He smiled softly at her and helped Addison up.

As much as Addison loved hockey, it took her all of 30 seconds to realise she loved watching it and not playing it. Even with a helmet and padding, the boys in the group knew that they would be able to annoy the only girl in the group by pelting pucks at her. There was only one boy who didn’t, he even told them to stop. Matthew Tkachuk. He caught her green eyes with his baby blue ones and mouthed sorry. He knew it wouldn’t be enough, but he hoped it was something.

After this, Addison pulled away from hockey. Even at a young age, she knew she wanted to focus on school and her parents supported her. She excelled at mathematics and was often called to the Tkachuk household to help Matthew with the work he had to finish before practice. She got on well with the Tkachuk’s, even considering them a second family as she spent lots of time with them. When the trading deadline was close and practice ran late, Chantal was always there to pick her up from school along with Matthew and Brady. She became the big sister to Taryn and their relationship formed quickly once she could talk.

When Matthew moved to the USNTDP, Addison was sad, but it reminded her that she needed to focus on school as he was doing what he loved, she needed to do what she loved. She began to withdraw from all social events, with the exception of ones she was made to attend. She spent the majority of her time focussing on her AP classes which included mathematics and physics. Her sights were set on applying to both CalTech and MIT to major in physics. Her parents supported her every step of the way, knowing she would need it.

Her parents also noticed the shift whenever the Tkachuk’s came over for dinner, she would no longer spend as much time chatting to Brady and Taryn. This got worse when Matthew was home. It was a struggle to get Addison out of her room, she was always studying or reading around the subject of physics. Every birthday and Christmas she would compile a list of the newest books relating to applied mathematics.

Her seventeenth birthday came around faster than she could have ever imagined. She had opened all of the gifts aside from one. It was wrapped clumsily and in wrapping paper she had never seen before. The note attached read:

Dear Addie, I know I’m in Ontario right now, but I saw this and thought you’d like it. Enjoy Matthew x

It was small but simple. Particle Physics: A Very Short Introduction. Matthew knew that the content of this book was looked at briefly covered in Addison’s AP Physics classes but was her area of interest. “Who’s it from,” her mother asked, just as curious as Addison was.

“Matt, Matt Tkachuk,” she replied. Her mother looked slightly confused knowing that the two didn’t particularly speak anymore. “It must have been in the pile Chantal brought over yesterday,” Addison noted.

If it was even possible, Addison put more time and effort into her studies knowing that to go to her dream college she needed to. She sent herself into burnouts more often than she would admit, even to herself and wished she had someone around to help her. One night it got too much, her mother was still in the office and her dad was on a flyaway trip with the team. She called Matthew.

He picked up quickly, knowing that Addison only called when it was incredibly important. When she started talking, he knew something was wrong with her. She was speaking in broken sentences, kept sniffling and as soon as he tried to switch to Facetime, she declined. They weren’t as close as he may have wanted them to be, but usually she never cared what she looked like. It was one line that sent him into a frenzy and was looking at buying plane tickets back to St Louis. “Matty,” she whispered, “I’m scared. What if I’m not good enough for anywhere, what if I have to do nothing for the rest of my life. What if I’m never good enough for my parents?” The tears she was trying to hide began to flow faster than ever before.

“Addie, you are the smartest person I know, you could never disappoint your parents. You mean the world to them, no matter what. You will go to college, you will study exactly what you want and you will make everyone who knows you proud,” he said firmly. Addison was one of the most stubborn people he knew and if he didn’t make his point with enough power, she would pick holes. It was what initially drew him to her. The way she spoke to everyone with the same attitude, it didn’t matter if it was him, her mother or someone she had never met. Addison always spoke with authority and intelligence, even if she was clueless in the subject.

“Thanks Matt,” she said through tears. “I jus-just needed someone to talk some sense into my brain. You’re the best.”

“Addie, you can text me whenever. I know we’re not super close or anything, but your family means a lot to my family,” he explained, reassuring her that he wasn’t going anywhere. The call lasted until Addie’s sniffling had subsided and all Matthew could hear were the gentle snores from the other end of the line.

Addison graduated high school top of her class and had secured a place at MIT to major in physics. That entire summer was spent sneaking alcohol from their parent’s coolers into parties. Matthew had also returned and spent the summer attached at the hip to Addison. They did everything together, if one of them wanted ice cream, the other had to tag along. If one wanted to go and watch a movie in the basement, the other would be getting the snacks ready.

The feelings Matthew had felt before were nothing compared to the ones he had now. He looked over to see Addie’s long, brunette hair draped over her shoulders and noticed how the light sweeping of eye shadow made her eyes sparkle just the right amount. He had the perfect girl sitting next to him but he had no idea how to make the right move.

Addison looked over at Matthew, his curls still not under control. She thought, just maybe, they could end this summer as more than just friends. “Hey Matt,” she started, “is it bad that I’m 18 and haven’t kissed anyone yet?” His eyes widened, not expecting her to say that.

“No, it’s not bad at all,” he started, trying to find the right words, “if you’re waiting for the right person, it’s never bad.”

“Would you be my first kiss?” she blurted out, clearly her mouth was working faster than her brain. Yes she thought Matthew was attractive, but there was no way in hell she wanted to risk a friendship that was still in its infancy.

“I-I,” the curly headed boy stuttered. How on earth was he meant to answer that?

“If you don’t want to, that’s okay,” Addison began to ramble, “I just want it out of the way before I move to MIT. Like, what if I find someone really nice…”

“Addie, I’m gonna stop you there. You’re blabbering on,” he said with a small laugh. “But, if you want to get it out of the way before college, we can.” Addison audibly sighed with relief when she heard his statement. “Wanna go and watch a movie at mine?” Matthew knew he needed to change the subject, his feelings for her were becoming too real and he couldn’t admit to them just yet.

“Uh, yeah?” Addie reluctantly agreed, this did not help the butterflies she felt in her stomach. He didn’t outright say no, so she was hoping he felt something for her too.

They arrived back at the Tkachuk house and after greeting the other members of the family went down to the basement. Addison had already turned the television on and had Netflix up whilst Matthew had gone through their box of snacks and had found a bag of popcorn and a bag of skittles for them to share.

By the time the movie had started, Addison was curled into Matthew’s side with the snacks in her lap. “Addie, do you, you know,” Matthew started, trying to see if she was ready. She nodded slowly and leaned in to him. Their lips softly touched and once Addison had her first taste, she didn’t want to stop. The movie was long forgotten about and all the two wanted was to be in each other’s presence.

The sound of someone walking down the stairs to the basement caused them to jump apart. “Hey Addie, your parents want you back home for dinner,” they heard Taryn say.

“Okay, gimme a sec,” Addison squeaked, trying to hide the blush on her face. “Thanks for that,” she said, hoping the awkwardness she felt wasn’t reciprocated. “But, as Taryn said, dinner’s ready. I’ll text you?”

“Yeah Addie, I’ll see you soon,” Matthew replied. Addison quickly ran up the stairs and the few houses down to where she lived. Matthew sighed and ran his hands through his curls a few times to bring himself back down to planet Earth. He, Matthew Tkachuk, had just kissed a girl he had been harbouring feelings for since he was 10 years old, because she asked him.

As Addison walked into her house, she suddenly felt like a huge weight had fallen onto her shoulders. She had just kissed the boy that she had started gaining feelings for. Her parents noticed that something was wrong as she wasn’t eating as much of her dinner as usual. “Addie, are you okay?” her mother asked, hoping she would discuss what was on her mind.

“Yeah,” Addison sighed, not wanting to talk about what happened too much. “Just did a stupid thing at Matt’s and I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“What did you do dear?” her mother knew not to probe too far, she had seen the looks the two had shared and had hoped that something would happen over the summer.

“We kissed,” she groaned. “Not once, but for a good half an hour, and I really like him and I don’t know what to do. Like, there’s no way he feels the same way, so I don’t know why it happened.”

“Addie, why do you think he doesn’t feel the same way? He looks at you like you put the stars in the sky, why would he look at you like that if he didn’t like you?” her mother replied.

“I can’t do this with him,” Addison complained, “I don’t want to be in a relationship with a hockey player, especially one who acts as he does on the ice. If he contacts you to talk to me, tell him to get lost.” With that, she got up from the dinner table and went to her room.

Addison’s room became her place of refuge before she moved to Cambridge. She only left the room to eat and use the bathroom. Her parents tried to help her, but she was unable to understand their concern because as she saw it she was focusing her life on moving to MIT and completing all of her pre work for her course. And that wasn’t a small amount of work, every single course had around 3 books that needed to be read and 2 tutorials that she needed to do. She made sure that everything had been done well in advance and even began to look at the content that would be taught during the first semester.

Her time at MIT was filled with a lot of time in the library. Addison enjoyed making friends but they all had the same attitude as her, they were there to study for their degree and helped each other when they needed it. Graduation was a fun day, she shared a dorm with her best friend Simone and the two of them spent the day getting ready together. Their families had become good friends and had planned a celebratory lunch.

The two families watched as their girls walked along the stage to collect their degrees and couldn’t be more proud. The girls were headed off to Edmonton together to be working for the same company and had already found an apartment to be sharing. Addison and Simone were so excited for moving to Canada and it was a common talking point with their academic advisors. They had made sure that all of the logistical issues were resolved and they knew the team members they would be working with. The advisors made sure that everything was in place well before the move occurred.

Ever since that summer in St Louis, Matthew and Addison had not even said as much as a hello at an event both of their families had attended. They purposefully avoided each other not wanting to reminisce over that day. No one else knew what had happened aside from Addison’s parents and Simone. Simone knew about Matthew, but didn’t know that they were moving to the same province where he lived too. Addison had made sure to keep his last name out of the discussions, not to keep him safe but to keep herself safe.

She wanted to try and live a normal life and not have everyone using her to try and meet an NHL player. She wanted to gain her accolades from being her own person and not from people with recognisable names. That’s what she hoped she would get out of moving to Edmonton.

//next

#ahockeywrites #the girl next door #Matthew Tkachuk #flames19 #nhl imagine #hockey imagine