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#i like the idea of people ending up there in times of crisis
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Had a realization regarding the Aware AU. The question of if Sabrina & Adrien are friends was asked and I think the answer is an emphatic yes.
Cos timeline wise, Emilie disappeared when the previous school year was still on. This was followed by the grief and then the revelation "Our parents don't care about us" crisis's, leading out the school year & a two month break.
Sabrina may not have met Adrien during the school period, but during the break. When Adrien's actively agitating to get out, when Chloe is aggressively trying to both reinvent herself and generally distance herself from her parents. That's when she'd meet him and given how easily Adrien makes friends its easy on his end.
For Sabrina it'd also be a neat experience cos if we go by season 1 she was both very game for anything and also really liked the idea of her & Chloe being thick as thieves. Chloe tended to stamp the breaks on that and remind her who was leading, IE the "We're awesome- sorry you're awesome" thing.
Here though?
That's less of a thing.
Not to say its not present, if anything overcoming her dynamic with Sabrina would likely be one of the hardest things to do. But she also pointedly cares about their relationship and Sabrina idolizes her so there's no shortage of second chances.
Plus she'd be actively trying to cut out some of her more overtly unfair behaviors by virtue of them being mimicry as opposed to her trauma bleeding through. So while she might need practice, some things do get intentionally ignored or rejected to make a point. "No Sabrina's not my assistant she's my friend and probably way smarter than you, Felix."
Adrien's presence would also help in this regard. He'd not see the dynamic itself as inherently terrible. Its Andrey & Audrey, Emilie & Gabriel, even himself & Chloe to an extent. A more gentle accommodating (Weaker) personality being led by a more aggressive, bold (Strong) personality.
His main contributions would be just highlighting when she's acting too much like her parents, especially Audrey & otherwise serving as a buffer for when she's too prickly to be anything but hostile. With the former call out leading Chloe to usually reverse course change thrusters and circle back and the latter giving plenty of bonding time.
Plus, Sabrina's respect for authority is pretty much only respect for Chloe's authority. So she'd be very happy to help in any scheming and generally be down for whatever they are up to in easy defiance of Gabriel or Andre.
So yeah I think they'd definitely be friends by the time school rolls around.
How cognizant she'd be to their situation or what brought the changes on... I think she'd have picked up enough clues that she knows their parents suck & they realized their parents suck & are now essentially in a constant state of low grade rebellion.
The specifics, extent or ways this manifest in issues would be harder to parse given her general reverence/dedication to people she likes/admires. But I imagine she'd have a pretty decent grasp of Adrien's situation mechanically, and knows/deduces far more of Chloe's than she realizes.
Honestly I love Adrien and Sabrina friendships and I really need to write more of that.
Also while Sabrina isn't in the 'rich' club she can be put in the 'oh I realized my dad sucks' club.
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isogenderskitty · 28 days
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tw suicide mention
this is extremely dark, but like... hear me out. what would steph even do with herself if she had ended up killing pete? she has no family to go home to, no clear aspirations... and i'm sure she doesn't even want to think about the possibility of someday getting over pete and finding someone else. i can't get the idea out of my head that she would've just... hung around long enough to see the lords in black make good on their end of the deal, and then... created a parallel to romeo & juliet, if you catch my drift.
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phoenixcatch7 · 2 years
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Been reading svsss fanfic and fan content for nearly two years now and I gotta say I am appalled by the lack of diety bros!sqq and sqh.
Like, we don't have nearly enough creator deity sqh anyway (the feral ones are e x q u i s i t e) but I haven't seen any where sqq is on the same level!
Consider: at one point in the past sy, in full hater inglory, starting (accidentally or otherwise) a full scale fan war over pidw. Trolls rampaging through comment sections, toxic ship wars spilling into social media sites and trending for days, streams of hate mail, attempts at doxxing poor sqh even. It culminates in the crashing of the entire site he posts on, obliterating the chapter he was working on and the site admins banning his work.
For the days it takes for him to get it put back up with his account unsuspended sqh suffers, and he almost successfully gets peerless cucumbers account terminated for starting it until he realises that pc jumped right back to paying for chapters and extra content like he was doing even in the final days of the war. Like he never did anything. Yeah, like he'll be forgetting that username any time soon.
Skip to the final chapter, and the fan war has calmed down, and actually benefitted sqh in the long run by giving pidw such a huge cultural platform. He posts, sy responds with the most scathing vitriol he's ever commented (having successfully pressed send before his body gave out) with allusions to another fan war surely brewing, and sqh jumps from his chair in fury and terror - he's on complete burnout, he hasn't got anything left to give, he can't afford to go through that again -
Trips, spills, the ramen gets everywhere. Killed by his own sparking computer, he dies before he sees the files corrupt, the entirety of pidw corroding away into terabytes of faulty static.
They both die within minutes of each other, sqh, the creator of pidw -
And sqq, who destroyed it.
#I just think that'd be incredible to read#I love healthy cuplane but sometimes I just think they aren't vicious enough#The parallels in the book are already close enough#It'd just take a couple small adjustments and BAM#barely an au but so feral#Yin yang connection where sy is the great evil with a genuinely kind personality hidden away#And sqh the great creator who scurries around helping people out who might stone his favourite oc to death with his bare hands#Sqh holds the most sincere hatred for pc for the longest time and vice versa but then they meet in pidw#And it's been long enough that a screaming match venting it all cleanses most of the active loathing#I'd like to think they end up getting along and feeding each others diety complexes when they discover#Their influences in regard to the world remain#Also I am in desperate need of a Ultimate Regress Forms where sqh is all lines of code and sqq is made of error messages and glitching stat#No one in svsss would have any idea what they were looking at#It'd be so delicious#If you want to go extra angsty: yqy seeing and realising sj has been taken away but being helpless against what replaced him#Lbh having weird dreams hearing them talking together like the Minecraft people end scene#Mbj would of course both find it hot and have a full crisis of hierarchy if he found out#Sqh: glowing from behind eyes blank text streaming behind him I WEAVE THE THREADS OF REALITY TO MY WHIM#Sqq: movements lagging behind sound of static face glitching horribly SUCKS FOR YOU I HAVE A BIG PAIR OF SCISSORS THEN#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#shen yuan#cumplane#shang qinghua#moshang#bingqiu#shen qingqiu
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gracetoldmeto · 1 year
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Happy (fuck) Monday(s)
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This is what I googled this morning...
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malkaviian · 1 year
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i am having traumatized kid thoughts so dont read the tags if it makes you uncomfortable
#i just think its weird that while my abuse was the worst thing that happened to me im just too used to the fact it happened#the few memories i have are horrible but my brain registers them as just memories. like going to the park#they are extremely fucked up but also. 'my dad once hit me so hard i ended up on the floor' and 'i went grocery shopping yesterday'#are both things that happened. and thats why sometimes i dont realize i *shouldnt* freely talk about my trauma to people i barely know#it can make them uncomfortable and thats the most understandable thing ever; especially if they didnt went through trauma too.#im the problem here; whos too sensitive due to trauma but ironically desensitized to it. sometimes i have days where i get crisis#for everything that happened; but other days im just “well that was a weird time in my life lol shit just happens i guess”#while still having to deal with the consequences of it.#theres also the thing i cant imagine a childhood + teenage years without abuse. i try to think about it but i go blank.#its such an integral part of myself i cant imagine my life taking a different route. no way it could be different; it just had to happen.#why; its something i will forever wonder. it shouldnt have happened but it just had to too. its complicated.#also my horrible memory to the point i cant tell at what age a specific event happened. im not even able to give an approximate#because i genuinely have no idea. maybe it happened when i was 10; or maybe when i was 15. no fucking idea pal. the years all blur together#idk things are just like that#abuse tw#negative#? not sure; not really a vent just thinking out loud about serious stuff
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erstwhilesparrow · 2 years
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okay! okay, it's a having feelings about mars red type of night.
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nulfaga · 2 years
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I need to start assembling a moodboard of dyke looks/energies I'm trying to emulate. Visualising ur best self and all of that
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ririblogsss · 26 days
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Oh
(This idea has been done before butttt I still wanna explore it)
What if instead of the JL believing that phantom is a ghost they just believe he is a very much overpowered meta with stereotypical ghost powers.
like in this AU, Phantom would have successfully gotten in contact the JL and got the GIW shot down, the JL thinking that the GIW were making false claims about a different species so they could experiment on metahumans with unique abilities. The Fentons works are under extreme watch and everything they do / want to research is heavily reviewed. Phantom ended up joining the Young Justice league.
So because JL assumed that Dannys 'ghost form' was just to keep his ID from being reveled, as no one would look for his real ideantity and if they did they would look at people who have died. Batman thought it was a genius strategy.
But then one of his teammates (im thinking either RR of Superboy) mentions that in all this time phantom hasn't aged a single bit
(I'm thinking that his ghost look never aged since he died, basically forever 14 in that form)
And Dannys brutally honest like "Of course I don't age im dead" while rolling his eyes.
And everyone stops and takes a full look at him really analyzing him.
And his teammate just has the loading screen on their heads and they just say: oh I thought that you that-
And they can't even complete a sentence cause their baffled.
And Dannys shrugs like it isn't a big deal: Yeah I've said this before, lab accident I died but came back. Anyways I have paperwork to do royal duties u know.
And he just leaves everyone to have a mental crisis over someone they knew died at such a young age and that they came back only to protect people.
Meanwhile Batman's over in the corner inputting 100s of questions into google
'Is it legal to adopt the ghost of a child'
'Can someone call cps on a families ghost'
'how to take care of ghosts 101'
'what do ghosts like'
'ghost customs'
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libraryraccoon · 6 months
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Yuu and reader but
But reader is forgettable.
Imagine Reader who arrived in Twisted Wonderland with Yuu, they got along very well together and with Grim, but Yuu and Grim end up abandoning Reader, creating their group of friends that we all know. Reader tries to approach them, become friends with them, but without success.
And then Reader finds himself alone, and everyone acts as if he doesn't exist. So much so that Reader questions his existence and becomes very quiet.
The ghosts realize this and spend time with Reader, and Reader considers them his only true friends. I'm pretty sure Reader would have tried to kill himself to become a ghost and join the ghosts gang but would have failed.
Reader would have stopped going to class, some teachers (Trein and Crewel) would have noticed and talked to him about it.
Reader walks around campus at all hours without anyone noticing him (he would have already been dancing in class and singing loudly and out of tune and no one would have noticed).
In the end, Reader is left alone for so long, talking to no one except the ghosts, that he forgets his name (the ghosts call him "Little Ghost").
And at book 5, he meets Chenya. And this is how it happens :
“What do you do alone ?” Chenya asked.
"Wait... Are you talking to me ?" Reader asked sitting in a tree, looking left and right before looking at Chenya.
"Yeah ? There's no one else around." the cat remarked amusedly.
"Oh- sorry I'm not used to people seeing me !" Reader said with a smile on his face, excited that someone alive was talking to him.
"Huh ? Why ?" Chenya asked, frowning in confusion.
“Well, people still act like I’m not there, like I don’t exist.” Reader explained. “Exept ghosts, you’re the first to talk to me in months !”
“oh…” Chenya looked worried. “And what’s your name ?”
"Oh I'm-huh..." Reader said before frowning.
“Well, hello ‘huh’, I’m Chenya.” Chenya said trying to lighten the mood.
“Nah, nah.. I don’t remember my name.” Reader said sounding scared, his breathing quickening.
“huh ?”
"What's my name? What's my name? Who am I? I forgot? I forgot..."
"Hey, calm down, you'll remember.." Chenya tried to calmly reassure.
"No- no ! You're not supposed to notice me or talk to me ! Go with more important people, people who remember their names, who they are !" (Reader having an existential crisis <3)
In the end, Chenya manages to calm Reader down, and he calls him "Little Ghost" (like ghosts) until they find his name.
After that, Chenya will talk about that as his friends at the RSA (like Neige), and they would do all for create a new identity at Reader and after that they will take him with them at the RSA (The RSA director was the one that have the idea of the new identity).
Sam friends of the other side won't stop crying about "The child that have forget his name", making Sam confused (they never answer at his questions about him).
And Trein would be the one finding out that Reader have left three days later.
If nobody write that, I will write it myself.
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thevoidstaredback · 25 days
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Okay, so, crisis averted. Both of them, really. Red Robin had not asked or attempted to get any more of Danny's drink and the World Ending Crisis was less World Ending and more World Threatening. Either way, no one is hyped up in lethal amounts of caffeine and the world is in no more pieces than it had been before.
That brings attention to a new problem, though. It's uniquely Danny's problem and Constantine and Zatanna and Deadman won't stop laughing at him. He's also pretty sure that Raven is laughing at him in the privacy of her mind, so that's making him feel worse.
The problem is that every single hero that had been at the meeting a week ago that was not a part of the JLD has been overly concerned about him.
So what if he half died when he was fourteen and therefore will never look over either fourteen or eighteen? So what if he consumes enough caffeine to kill an elephant within a few minutes? What is he gonna do, die? That's not a real threat as long as he only fights as Phantom.
Ignoring the fact that he can, in fact, get hurt to the point of near death as Phantom. It's not like anyone knows that, though! Besides, ghosts run on god rules. They can't die, only fade when forgotten. People aren't likely to forget about most ghosts, though, even if they can't remember their names.
He's not gonna share that, though. Let Batman keep his contingency that won't work because the only contingency that will work for Phantom is the one he made himself. Tried and tested! He's marked it off of his Bingo Card.
Anyway. Heros and their kids/proteges have been trying to track him down for the entire week. He can't risk even leaving the House of Mysteries because the Supers are all probably listening out for him and they can't hear him through magic. It sucks. He just wants to go get a cup of coffee as Danny. The second he leaves, though, the Supers will be on him like bloodhounds. He'd leave as Danny, but the rest of the JLD don't know what he looks like as Danny and he'd like to keep it that way, thank you very much. Being stuck as Phantom was going to start causing issues to his human half if he doesn't get to leave soon.
Should he risk it? Is coffee that won't kill him really worth risking the Supers finding out his civilian identity? Sure, they wouldn't tell anyone, but he didn't like the idea of someone being able to pick him out of a crowd when all he wanted to do was blend in. It's why he avoided Gotham and Bludhaven, actually, but that's both self explanatory and another story for another time.
"You're still here?" Zatanna sat on the couch beside him. "You're normally gone by now. You can't not be tired of us yet."
He sighed and sunk down into the couch slightly. "Believe me, I'm tired of being stuck here, but I can't leave. I can't leave as a human because you guys don't know what I look like and, no offense, but I'd like to keep it that way. I can't leave as I am now because Superman will be on my ass quicker than I can blink!" He whined this time, "I just want a cup of coffee."
"What about your special brew?" Raven asked, coming into the room.
"I want to drink coffee as a human. That stuff will kill me if I drink it as a human."
"At least you know your limits."
"That sounded like a dig at someone, Z."
"It was."
"Why don't you just go out under a protection spell?" Raven offered, "We could cast one over you and you could leave. Superman can't hear through magic, so he won't be able to tell. Neither will Superboy."
Danny thought for a second. "You're a genius, Raven! Has anyone ever told you that?"
"A few times," she blushed.
"Well, it needs to be said more!"
Zatanna laughed. "Alright, kid, let's get you outside before you drive yourself crazy."
Practically vibrating in place, Danny waited for the protection spell to settle over him. The second it did, he was out the door and wandering the streets of whatever city the House of Mysteries decided to drop him as Danny instead of Phantom.
"Who are you," was not the question or voice he wanted to hear the second he stepped into the open as himself.
"Danny," he squeaked out through his absolute panic. He didn't dare turn around.
The sound of fabric moving minutely clues him in to the second person behind him. What the hell were these two doing out? It's the middle of the day and there's no attacks going on anywhere in Gotham!
"Where did you come from?" Robin asked.
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! This was really bad! Why did the House drop him *here* of all places? Does it *want* him to die again? It was very painful the first time, thank you very much! "Illinois?"
"Was that a question or an answer?" Why is Red Robin here now?!
"An-an answer?"
"Ah, you guys are scaring the little guy!" That was Nightwing. They're surrounding him! Why is Nightwing here? This is Gotham, not Bludhaven. "Give him some room to breathe."
They did not, in fact, give him room to breathe. Maybe coming outside was a bad idea. If he gets out of this no more dead than he already was, he was going to move to the middle of nowhere and become a hermit. Smallville is a town in the middle of nowhere, right? He'll retire as Phantom and move to Smallville until the people get suspicious and burn him as a witch-!
Maybe moving to a big city would be a better idea. Or locking himself in the basement of the House of Mysteries. Yeah, yeah that's a good idea.
"-even listening?"
Oh shit. They were still talking to him! Now is not the time to panic! "Gottagobye!" And then he was running.
Good job not panicking, Danny.
Part 1 Part 3
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melyndadwest-blog · 8 months
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Guardian Deity Spirit Danny
"In the spiritual realm, there are specific steps a being can take to ascend to the status of a god, with certain restrictions defining what a god truly is. Typically, a deity emerges as a result of being worshipped by a group of people, their worship infusing them with divine energy and granting them godhood.
They can be born from an unconscious belief or concept, such as the worship of the moon or nature. Over time, this belief gains sentience and power through the devotion of their followers.
They possess spiritual powers and establish a cult, amassing considerable influence and strength.
They are born from another god.
They achieve godhood by defeating and absorbing the essence of a pre-existing god, embodying their concept.
This means that even if a being is incredibly powerful, like Clockwork, they must be worshipped by someone to attain godhood. So...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
In the Infinite Realms, time operates differently than in the outside world. I believe that since the Realms exist beyond space and existence, serving as the cosmic glue holding the multiverse together, they remain separate from the flow of time.
So, my idea is this: Danny is already immensely powerful, as he embodies the balance between life and death. Because of his connection to Clockwork, this being occasionally sends him on time-traveling missions, perhaps for preparations related to kingship. As a result, he appears in various places throughout history, safeguarding people and cultures. Over the centuries and millennia, people begin to worship him, seeking blessings and offering sacrifices.
Usually, this would lead the Justice League to believe that he's simply a very old being. However, what if he truly is ancient?
As I mentioned earlier, a god's powers are derived from belief, and this belief gradually transforms the deity. Here's my take:
Batman might insist, "I know you're Danny Fenton," until a summons or a crisis causes Danny's godly side to surface. This aspect of him is truly ancient, as time doesn't flow conventionally in the Infinite Realms. Consequently, Danny could be three years old in terms of his death, yet also an ancient entity. Nonetheless, he remains physically too young to fully comprehend his true power and existence, resulting in considerable confusion.
Ultimately, there are two interpretations:
The Justice League ends up believing that Danny is either a) a vessel for a god, b) a sort of priest, or c) the physical incarnation of a bored god curious about experiencing humanity.
Ghosts do not treat him like a typical ghost child because, due to the nonlinear nature of time in the Zone, his core possesses the essence of an ancient being. The ghosts perceive him as the rebirth of balance, incarnated as a human to restore equilibrium.
Feel free to use this concept for any story or interpretation you find compelling."
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velocesainz · 2 months
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Hii!
Could you possibly do a Percy Jackson smut with Percy fucking the brat out of reader, his rival? Rough sex with degrading and praise pls and ty 🫶🏼🫶🏼
A/n:This was quite an interesting request for me to write, thank you for the idea! All character have been aged up (19-20)
More than rivalry
Percy jackson masterlist | main masterlist
Summary: Percy gets jealous seeing you (his rival) with another boy and decides to fuck you to make sure you remember that you are his but you end up being too cocky for his liking
Warnings: smut, degradation
Pairing: Percy x daughter of Zeus! Reader
Reader pov:
I was practising my archery skills with some Apollo kids and we were actually having a lot of fun
Over the time I had spent Robert over the past few days perfecting my archery we both really grew close together
He was one of the very few people at camp who were actually friends with me for me and not because I was Zeus’s daughter.
While we were training I clumsily fell over a rock and was about to go crash into the ground but Robert caught me in time.
We stayed in the position for a little bit not knowing what to do.
We looked at each other with soft and gentle eyes, like how friends would rather than people who like each other though it seemed otherwise to most.
It was a sweet moment we both were trying to savour when a bellowing voice split us apart
“Oi thunder witch! What are you doing, let the poor guy out of his misery and do some practising on your own yea?” Yelled the voice that I really didn’t want to hear right now
Percy motherfucking Jackson
“Ocean ass how about you go bother someone else. He’s here with me at his own will for your kind information. Care more about your friends yea?” I retorted
I wanted to leave the arena as fast as possible so I bid Robert goodbye and left for my cabin
Percy pov:
Crisis averted.
I didn’t let Robert and y/n have their moment.
Why the fuck out of all the girls here does Robert have to go for y/n?
He has like a hundred girls dying for him.
Doesn’t he know she’s mine?
I know we seem like enemies but I wish to fuck like every second of the day at this point
She’s just so beautiful and that attitude damn.
I had a plan to get y/n away from every other guy, not just Robert.
Reader pov:
I was sitting in my cabin reading a book when I heard a knock on my door
That’s odd, I thought
Nobody was usually free at this hour in the evening
Everyone was too busy scheming for capture the flag except me of course
I wasn’t allowed to participate along with Percy since we were a tad bit overpowered
I walked over and opened the door and before I could figure out who it was they shoved me against the wall and started kissing me
I pushed the figure away and tried to run but they caught me
“Don’t try to run bitch. You need to be taught a lesson. Now be a good little slut and listen to what I say or the consequences will be severe for you” the figure whispered in my ear.
Then I realised who it was
Percy.
I was feeling cocky today so I decided to tease him a little
“You sure you can be intimidating and dominating seaweed brain? I don’t think you can even satisfy me forget punishing me”I replied with a smirk gracing my features
“Oh you asked for this whore. By the time I’m done with you you will be so dumb for my cock that you won’t even remember your name. Just you wait “ he said in a Husky voice which turned me on more than I would like to admit
He started removing my clothes as fast as he could and I couldn’t help but sneak in a cheeky comment
“Desperate are we?” Boy oh boy was this a bad decision
“I’m going to fuck that cocky attitude right out of you. You really just can’t keep your mouth shut can you whore?” Percy said and threw me in my bed
Undressing himself he got on the bed and made his way towards me like a predator approaching its prey
He moved my panties to the side and roughly shoved his cock inside me without any warning
“A-ah p-p-Percy that hurts sto-“ I was cut off by a slap I received
“Shut the fuck up slut. You were the one who was acting all cocky just a few minutes ago. Bitches like you don’t deserve to be cared for” Percy panted as he continued thrusting in and out
His pace was ungodly. He kept thrusting in and out of me letting my pussy drink up his cock
I felt like I was losing my mind as he hit my g-spot repeatedly completely abusing it
“O-oh fuck your pussy is tight. G-gods I’m going to come. Ah yea just like that” He whispered huskily
“I am going to cum too Percy” I told him
“No no. You don’t get to cum you little slut. You’ve been a really back whore for me. You don’t get to cum today, deal with it yourself” Percy said as he came in me
He got dressed quickly and left leaving me a panting and unsatisfied mess
Goddamit jackson.
A/n: let me know if you guys liked this fic or if you have any feedback! Requests are still on hold unfortunately but they’ll be opened soon. Kissies ✨
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cepheustarot · 3 days
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What awaits you in May?
Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best.
✧ Masterlist ✧ Paid readings
Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.
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Pile 1: At the beginning of the month, you may have an unforeseen situation, force majeure, which will change your plans, which were supposed to be implemented in may but because of this situation the implementation will either be postponed or you will change your decision and do it differently. As I see it, for the most part you planned these plans together with other people, your family or friends but someone could change their mind at the last moment and refuse to participate or a strong quarrel may arise with someone. Naturally, you will be nervous because of unforeseen circumstances, thoughts may arise "why not give it all up, give up this idea" but as the cards show, it is better not to abandon the implementation here but to look for an alternative, since in the end everything will turn out much better than you imagined! 
Also, this month the chance to change jobs or occupation / try a new hobby will be quite high as you will receive a good offer from a company or employer with good working conditions and a good salary/ rate per hour. However, your current employers may stop you, because they are afraid of losing you, you are a valuable employee for them and this can create small problems when you are fired. Also, if you are in business, your sales will increase significantly this month, you can make profitable deals with someone, invest profitably in some business.  If you are studying, then you will also succeed this month but it is important to make an effort here since you may have strict teachers who are very picky about the answers or you can write tests where one mistake can lead to the loss of many points, so be careful! 
Also this month, there is a high chance to meet a new person who will later become a good friend for you or, if you are looking for a relationship, will become a good partner. As I see it, you will spend a lot of time with each other, you will get to know each other, create joint memories, in general, you will be very comfortable and good next to this person. If you are already in a relationship, then this month is a good opportunity to strengthen your bond or resolve problems between you, establish a relationship and get closer, spend time together. You can also spend a lot of time with your family this month, in particular with your siblings.
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Pile 2: At the beginning of the month, your problem which lasted for a long time will be able to be solved, you will finally be able to find a way out of the situation and thanks to this you will feel so relieved, weight has finally fallen off your shoulders, you will have a slight feeling of freedom, you can feel so confident as if you won the most difficult competition and took the prize! It can be anything, getting rid of debts, solving psychological problems, solving financial problems, overcoming a crisis, resolving a conflict with people — in general, something that has been burdening you for a long time. You may also have felt depressed and tired lately, felt like your mood was sad most of the time, it might be difficult for you to enjoy some little things and your condition will improve significantly this month. Here, in general, the rough patch will end, luck and happiness will accompany you in your life! 
I also see that this month you will have the opportunity to change something in your life that will help you feel better, here the emphasis is that you would like to get rid of the past, of the memories that burden you: you can change your appearance, your style,change of scenery and go somewhere for a while or move altogether, change your social circle, hobbies, change your job / occupation, change the interior of the apartment, you can add decor, you can discover new places in the city, find new people, you can also change inside yourself, change your views — anything can happen here that can improve your mood and well-being. 
This month you will also make new plans, goals and work on their implementation, here I see that you will definitely succeed since this will be something very important to you, you will be burning with the idea and strive to achieve what you would like, probably this motivation came to you after improving your well-being and it's very cool! Here you can study something a lot, try to figure out a topic, consult with others, improve your skills, even if you start something new, you will be accompanied by success and luck!
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Pile 3: This month you may feel tired from the oversaturation of events in your life, from an overabundance of emotions, from being with people often, and here I see you can feel how your social battery has "run out". You will distance yourself from people for a while, spend time alone or with only a small number of people but in any case you focus on yourself and taking care of yourself. You can take a vacation at work or take a break, spend time doing things that bring you pleasure that calm you down and do not strain you, you will pamper yourself here and do what you want. You can also get tired of the hustle and hustle and go to some quiet place for you, often visit your favorite places and “places of power" that fill you internally. 
And although I said that you will spend most of your time alone with yourself, I also do not exclude that you will want to meet with your inner circle, your loved ones may also meet  and offer to go on a trip to small towns, you can spend time outside the city but away from the hustle and bustle. And if you agree then this trip will also be able to fill you with internal resources, improve your well-being, you will feel how your fatigue gradually passes and your head is free of obsessive thoughts. 
At the end of the month, a situation will occur that will take you out of your inner balance: it will be unexpected, you will be required to quickly resolve the situation or do something in the shortest possible time, make a choice and naturally this can infuriate you. This may be related to work, for example, your boss will require you to do something urgently, make changes to the work, it may also be related to the family, there will be a heated dispute between family members and you will have to take someone's side, since it is difficult to remain indifferent in this case. In any case, it won't last long, you will get a grip and quickly resolve the problems that have overtaken you so you shouldn't worry too much about it.
Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback 🖤
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artbyblastweave · 7 months
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I think about Star Wars a lot more than I post about Star Wars, and I've had some free time recently to type up some thoughts on Episode 7 that've been swirling around in my head for a couple of years. There were a few ideas and plot beats, and moments of apparent self-examination in Episode 7 which I thought were fairly compelling, even though they ultimately paid no dividends:
First was Finn’s character concept. “Star Wars as experienced from the perspective of a Stormtrooper undergoing a crisis of faith” is a rich hook; humanizing and giving a face to what's basically the platonic implementation of the faceless mook. Unfortunately, the potency of the arc was undercut by the pre-existing textual ambiguity as to what stormtroopers actually are. Star Wars extended canon has settled on the idea that each trilogy features an entirely novel cohort of white-clad mooks, each with a fundamentally different underlying dynamic. The clones and the First-Order forces are different flavors of slave army; in contrast, the stormtroopers are more frequently portrayed in the expanded universe as military careerists, stormtrooper being a thing you work up to rather than a gig for a fresh conscript. A slave-soldier who defects is a very different character from a military careerist who defects, and they invite different analysis. There's a bait-and-switch going on here, in that Finn gestures in the direction of the familiar OT stormtroopers but can't comment on or examine them because he's actually part of a novel dynamic invented for the new movies. And there's one final nail in the coffin here, signaled by the number of times I've had to invoke the expanded universe so far. When Finn debuted, the racists were of course, legion, but I also ran into a number of people who were sincerely confused as to why they'd recast Temuera Morrison. Going off the seven films that existed at the time, it wasn't unreasonable to read the prequel trilogy as an origin story for where the OT stormtroopers came from. Going only off the nine films that exist now, it still isn't unreasonable! It's muddied from so many different directions by their failure to establish the ground rules in the mainline films before they tried to put on subversive airs about it. I am still irritated by this.
Next up is how Han Solo was written. I actually liked the tack they took with him quite a bit. Because initially, right, his role in the movie is just to be Han Solo. He's back, and he hasn't changed! He's still kicking ass and taking names, he's still the lovable scoundrel you knew and loved from your childhood- and the principle cast members react to his presence with the same reverence the film's trying to invoke in the audience, they've grown up hearing the same stories about him. Except that episode 7, at least, is also very aware of the fact that if Han Solo is still recognizably the same guy thirty years on, it indicates that things have gone totally off the rails for him. We find out that the lovable rogue routine is the result of him backsliding, his happy ending blown up by massive personal tragedy rooted in communicative failures and (implicitly) his parental shortcomings. It feels deliberately in conversation with the nostalgic impulse driving the entire film- here's your childhood hero back just as you remember, here's what that stagnation costs. And it also feels like it's in conversation with what was a fairly common strain of Han Solo Take- the idea that Ep. 6 cuts off at a very convenient point, and that Han and Leia's fly-by-night wartime relationship wouldn't survive the rigors of domesticity. Obviously, that's not the only direction you can take with the character; the old EU basically threaded the needle of keeping Han recognizable without rolling back his character development gains. But it felt like they were actually committing to a direction, a direction that was aware of the space, and not a reflexively deferential and flattering one, which at the time I appreciated! The problem, of course, is that for it to really land, you need to have a really, really strong idea of what actually went down-of what Han's specific shortcomings and failures were. And given the game of ping-pong they proceeded to play with Kylo Ren's characterization, this turned out to be. Less than doable.
Kylo Ren is the third thing about Episode 7 that I liked. His character concept is basically an extended admission by the filmmakers that there's no way to top Vader as an antagonist. Instead, they lean into the opposite direction- they make him underwhelming on purpose. Someone who's chasing Vader's legacy in the same way any post-OT Star Wars villain is going to, pursuing Vader's aesthetic and the associated power without really understanding or undergoing the convoluted web of suffering and dysfunction that produced Vader. It's framed as a genuine twist that there's nothing particularly wrong with his face under that helmet. Whatever it takes to be Vader, he doesn't have it, and he knows that he doesn't have it, and the pursuit of it drives him to greater and greater acts of cartoonish villainy. The failure to one-up Vader is offloaded to the character instead of the writers, and it was genuinely interesting to watch. For one movie. The problem, of course, is that if the entire character archetype is "Vader, but less compelling," you can't try to give the bastard Vader's exact character arc. You can't retroactively bolt on a Vader-tier tragic backstory when you spent a whole movie signaling that whatever happened to him wasn't as compelling as what happened to Vader. You can't milk his angst for two more movies when it's the kind of angst on display in "Rocking the Suburbs" by Ben Folds!
There's a level on which I feel like Moff Gideon was a semi-successful implementation of Vader-Wannabe concept; he's the same kind of middling operator courting the Vader Aesthetic for clout, but he's doing it in the context of the imperial warlord era, where there's a lot of practical power available to anyone who can paint themselves to the Imperial Remnants as a plausible successor to Vader. Hand in Hand with this obvious politicking, Gideon is loathsome, which relieves the writers of the burden of having to plausibly redeem the guy; he's doing exactly what he needs to do and there'll never be a mandate to expand him beyond what his characterization can support. Unfortunately, the calculated and cynical nature of how he's emulating Vader precludes the immaturity and hero-worship elements on display with Kylo, which is unfortunate; the sincerity on display in Kylo's pursuit of authenticity is an important part of why he worked, to the extent that he worked at all, and it'd be worth unpacking in a better trilogy. As he stands Kylo is a clever idea, and that's all he is- he lacks the scaffolding to go from merely clever to actively good.
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metalhoops · 1 year
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“I think I’m seeing things, man,” Eddie spoke from his spot on the Harrington’s couch. His white skin appeared paler still against the brown leather. 
Steve didn’t blame him. He was on all kinds of painkillers. It’d been two weeks since the world fell apart. Two weeks since Vecna disappeared. Two weeks since Eddie almost died. 
Steve liked to treat those memories as others treated head-on collisions. It was better not to look at them directly. It was better to treat it like it’d never happened. 
“What’re we looking at?” Steve asked from his spot on the floor, following Eddie’s line of sight to the gap in the curtains. 
“Don’t know. Thought I saw somebody outside,” Eddie confessed. 
The Harrington house had always been filled with spectres, whether that of partygoers, like front lawn flamingos in need of an exorcism or the body in the backyard pool. But those were Steve’s hang-ups, not Eddie’s. 
If all it took to be a ghost was to haunt, Eddie might be included in the ranks of his own private phantasmagoria. He kept checking each night to make sure the boy was really there, that he’d really gotten out. People shouldn’t have that much blood in them, and they definitely shouldn’t have that much blood out of them. 
Steve went to the window because that was something he could do for Eddie. He wasn’t sure why he kept feeling the need to apologise. He hadn’t done anything wrong, but hell if Steve knew if he’d done anything right either. He’d gotten Eddie out of the Upside Down. He’d put his hands inside the boy’s body, shoved his shirt beneath his skin and held it in the dark cavity that oozed and throbbed warm blood like the rise and fall of the tide.
Don’t think about it. Check the window. His hands at his side felt cold. He wondered if they’d ever be warm again. There was a figure across the street. 
A boy in a basketball jersey circled passed the house. 
Things never ended smoothly. Steve liked to think once Jason went down the rest of the vigilante crew would stop looking for Eddie, but there were some stragglers who hadn’t got the message. 
Hopper had his hands full trying to clear Eddie’s name. Eddie’s uncle was still looking for him. The whole town was holding their breath in the midst of destruction, waiting for someone to blame. Steve shut the curtains, turned the lights off and moved to Eddie’s side in the darkness. 
“Hounds of hell still circling then?” Eddie guessed after one glimpse at Steve’s face. 
“I’ll call Hopper,” Steve reasoned, reaching up to squeeze Eddie’s knee. He wasn’t sure why he’d done it. Maybe to make sure he was real. Maybe to tell him he was sorry. 
“Don’t worry about it, Steve,” Eddie spoke, reaching out and snagging the hem of Steve’s sweater.
“No one thinks I’m here. If the cops show up at the Harringtons’ it’s going to turn some heads,” Eddie reasoned, and he was right.
So where did that leave them? Sitting alone in the dark with Eddie fading in and out of sleep and Steve watching car headlights dance across the curtains, waiting for the moment everything went wrong. 
“Steve?” Eddie breathed beside Steve’s ear in the blackness. He hadn’t realised they were so close. 
“Yeah?” Steve moved his eyes from the window to look at Eddie. 
“I think I’m crashing,” he noted, a grimace dancing across his face. Steve had never felt smaller. 
“Doc said we’ve gotta wait six hours,” Steve replied, hoping he didn’t sound as worried as he felt. 
“How long’s it been?” 
“Three.” 
Steve always wanted to appear cool in times of crisis, but he had no idea what he was doing. Some of the government agents Steve had signed countless NDAs for over the past four years had patched Eddie up as best they could and had started scrambling for a cover-up. 
In the meantime, Eddie would stay at Steve’s place. It made the most sense. Eddie was nobody to Steve. No one would go looking for Eddie at the Harringtons’, and unlike the other older teens, he didn’t have parents to answer to. Big house. No parents. Perfect place to lie low. 
Steve was nobody to Eddie and yet for the past week, they’d been an island unto themselves, trapped indoors together, watching shadows on the walls and trying to keep each other alive and sane. He felt completely unprepared. 
“Alright. Come on. Let’s go to bed,” Steve muttered, kneeling in front of Eddie. He watched the boy rise to a sitting position over his shoulder. Eddie snorted.
“What exactly is the plan here, Steve?” 
Eddie had been stuck oscillating between the living room, kitchen, and downstairs bathroom for days. They could both use a change of scenery. 
“Piggyback,” Steve spoke, trying not to think about the connotations that the word had garnered. He wasn’t going to think about Vecna. Not today. 
He expected the boy to argue, but instead, he felt Eddie’s arms snake around his throat. He held tight, but not as tight as he should. Steve had to hold on to his forearms like backpack straps as he stood. Eddie’s legs were stronger. They held firm around Steve’s waist. 
Eddie’s head flopped against Steve’s shoulder blade, nuzzling into the space. He was warm as the sun. Too warm. He was running a temperature. Steve tried not to think of the last time he carried Eddie. The boy was uncharacteristically quiet. Steve needed to do something. 
“Saddle up, buckeroo,” Steve spoke, hoisting Eddie further up his back. He felt a puff of air against his neck, a barely there laugh. 
“Hi-yo, Silver,” Eddie grumbled against Steve’s skin. 
Steve moved deftly through the dark, taking the staircase slowly and methodically. The last thing either of them needed was another broken bone. 
“I think I owe you one once all this is over,” Eddie noted. Steve was already shaking his head.
“You stick around, and I’ll call it a favour. I think Henderson would kick my ass if you died.” 
“The kid’s got spunk. I’ll give him that,” Eddie noted as the two reached the top of the stairs. 
“He’s got an attitude and a problem with authority,” Steve corrected, taking Eddie to his bedroom.
He moved to the edge of his bed and let Eddie extract himself. When they broke apart, Steve felt cold again. 
“That’s our boy,” Eddie chuckled, shooting Steve a lopsided smirk. He was definitely still high on painkillers.
Steve rolled his eyes and helped lower Eddie down onto his favourite pillow, the one worn down with age but all the more comfortable for it. He pulled the covers up around the boy’s shoulders.
“Yeah, our boy,” Steve echoed in a too-fond tone. 
He’d never let Henderson hear the term of affection. The kid had a big enough head as it was, but in the too-quiet world of just himself and Eddie, he felt okay admitting it. Once it looked like Eddie was settled in, Steve sat on the edge of his bed, feeling as he always did, like a stranger in his own home. 
“When did you last get some shut-eye, boy wonder?” Eddie asked, his foot tucking beneath Steve’s thigh.  
Friday. What day was it? Sunday. Not good. 
“Well, come on then, don’t make a guy beg. Lay down, Steve. It’s your bed. I could sleep in the spare room if it’s a problem.” There was something cautious about the offer Steve didn’t understand. 
He flopped down beside Eddie, so close the two shared a pillow. It changed the shape of the thing. It made the familiar strange. 
“You know, I had this dream last night,” Eddie began, his dark eyes still open, glued to the ceiling. He cringed, knowing all the ways dreams could go bad, but Eddie shook his head.
“Not that kind of dream,” He insisted, his hands balling into fists on the bedsheets. 
“I had a dream I was a pinball machine,” the boy stated plainly. The absurdity of the statement shocked a laugh out of Steve. 
“These painkillers are legit, Harrington,” Eddie spoke, shooting Steve a sidelong glance. 
“What kind of pinball machine?” 
“You know the Centaur one? It’s black and white, mostly. The arts got this topless guy who’s half man, half motorbike,” Eddie explained. 
Steve had no idea what he was saying, but it was nice to hear him talk. 
“Wait, if you were the pinball machine, how did you know what you looked like?” 
“Great question Steven. I’ve got no clue. Dream logic,” Eddie reasoned.  
Steve screwed up his nose at the use of his full name. Only his dad called him Steven. Eddie raised a brow, seeming to take note. One of them had shifted closer. Steve wasn’t sure who. Eddie’s hand brushed against his side as he played with the sheets. 
“Remind me again why I needed to know about your pinball dream?” Steve asked. The sound of the wind in the trees outside his bedroom window set his teeth on edge. 
“Because you’re too damn serious and I thought it’d make you smile... Which it did.” Eddie added the last part in quietly and Steve rolled his eyes. 
Eddie craned his head to look around Steve’s room before screwing up his nose. 
“Anyone ever told you your wallpaper is gaudy as hell? Your curtains match your walls. Dude, I thought rich people were meant to have taste,” he observed, the boys’ shoulders pressed together. 
“This coming from the guy who eats cereal out of the box with his hands,” Steve countered, no heat in his voice. 
“Are you still mad I used to stand on your lunch table?” Eddie muttered, shoving Steve’s shoulder before tensing. When had Steve last checked his dressings? 
He flipped the bedside lamp on, leaning over Eddie to do so. He’d been helping the guy shower for days now. Privacy was a word reserved for other people. Intimacy was a necessity.  
“Once you stood in my mashed potatoes. It was disgusting,” Steve uttered, gently peeling up the hem of Eddie’s tee shirt. Really, it was Steve’s, but it seemed strange to make distinctions. 
Eddie’s eyes trailed down to Steve’s fingers, half-hooded and slowed with sleep or inebriation, Steve didn’t know which. He wondered how much of all this Eddie would remember when he got better. He would get better. 
“You never ate the potatoes. You’d bring your stupid bagels from home,” Eddie remarked, as Steve carefully unwound the bandage and gauze. It was stained brown with dried blood, but it looked better than it’d been a few days before, no longer as red or swollen.   
The bagel comment made Steve look up. Seemed like Robin wasn’t the only one that’d been watching him. Maybe Eddie had a crush on Tammy Thompson, too. Maybe it was something else. Steve’s friends had crappy taste in women. Eddie could do better. 
“What’s the verdict, doc?” Eddie questioned, noticing Steve’s sudden silence. 
He cleaned the wounds as best he could. Eddie’s fingers had found their way to Steve’s thigh, gripping so tight he thought it would bruise. It would be another to add to the collection. Steve hadn’t been thinking of how his battle wounds were healing. He was in triage mode. Eddie’s wounds were worse than his. 
“We're going to have to amputate,” Steve deadpanned as he found the first aid kit he’d hidden beneath his bed years before, starting to redress the wound. 
“How the hell can you amputate a side?” Eddie asked with a shaky laugh, his breathing more ragged again. 
“Well, you see, there’s this new experimental procedure that lets you transplant your brain into a pinball machine,” Steve began and felt Eddie’s elbow in his side. 
“Screw you.” 
Steve laid back beside Eddie, less space between them than before, if it was at all possible. They braced against each other, the contact grounding Steve. Eddie was alive. He was alive. Maybe one day they could look at each other and not think about death. That day wasn’t today, but Steve could hope for it. 
As Eddie drifted to sleep, his head fell on Steve’s shoulder. He wouldn’t sleep for long that night, but he was used to that. He knew the weeks and months after a run-in with the Upside Down were full of fitful sleep and nightmares, but they never lasted. 
On a long enough timeline, you could get used to anything. It was strange how short that timeline was when it came to getting used to Eddie. 
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More days came and went with the same imperfect routines. The two boys woke at all hours of the night and spent the daylight hours behind closed curtains, trying to heal. 
By the third day, Steve got sick of the quiet. A sombre mood hung over them, shifting and changing like the phases of the moon. It never entirely disappeared, but there were moments it seemed almost absent.  
One of these such moments arose when Steve hijacked the boombox from the living room and dragged it upstairs to his bedroom, where a slowly healing Eddie sat bored out of his mind, aching and itchy. Steve knew the feeling. The wound on his neck had scabbed and begun to fade into a scar. 
“Hey, Munson?” Steve spoke, sitting beside Eddie, spreading his tape collection between them. 
“You wanna hear some real music?” He asked, watching Eddie’s nose scrunch and his teeth worry away at his bottom lip.
“These are all horrible, Harrington.” 
Eddie turned over several cassettes in his hand, treating them gently as though they were something special.  
“You have every WHAM! album, dude. The Outfield. Halls & Oats. Tears for Fears,” Eddie listed off, his tone one of disgust. 
“You’re going to have to pick something, or I’ll pick WHAM! out of spite.” 
Eddie rolled his eyes and shuffled through the tapes, tossing one Steve’s way. 
“Bowie isn’t horrible,” Eddie mumbled as Steve placed The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars, into the player. 
The two sat shoulder to shoulder, as always, listening to the quiet swell of drums. Steve realised too late it was a song about the end of the world. He realised, later still, that it was a love song. Eddie’s fingers drummed against his knee. Steve tried to ignore the way the action made his heart swell. 
Steve couldn’t sit still any longer as Moonaged Daydream began. He remembered another life in Nancy Wheeler’s garage, asking her to pretend things were normal for a couple of hours. God, he wanted that. He needed a few normal hours.
He wasn’t the same person he’d been back then, but parts of him had stayed the same. He didn’t know how to change them. Nancy Wheeler faced problems head-on, but Steve? The passage of time had taught him how to stand his ground in the face of danger, but he hadn’t yet learned how to stop being chased. 
He caught Eddie’s eye and watched as a wicked grin spread across his face. Without words, he knew exactly what Steve was about to do. He grabbed the nail bat he kept by the bed, the same one from the Wheeler’s garage and sang, using the gnarly weapon as his makeshift microphone. He was a little too loud and a little off-tune.  He sang about alligators and space invaders, lyrics he knew off by heart, without understanding them.
He watched as a grin threatened to crack Eddie’s face in two. There was a reckless abandon to his smile. It was different from the glazed-eyed, half-high smiles of the past week. His eyes were keen and sharp as he watched Steve fling himself across the room in the way only someone who’d learned to dance drunk could.
By the time the album finished, he’d worked up a sweat. Eddie joined in, singing a couple of lines when he could before tugging Steve back to bed, his hand in Steve’s hair, smoothing it back in place. The action was intimate, yet familiar.
“Alright, Starman. Maybe Bowie doesn’t suck so hard, but when I’m not on the run from the law, I’m going to show you what real music sounds like.” 
“Promise?” Steve asked, his chest heaving. 
Then, Eddie did something so unlike anything the populous of Hawkins would expect. To them, he was a Satanist and a murderer. Steve had always known better, but he’d seen Eddie as a wildcard. He was loud and rough around the edges, but he also had the capability of being endearing when the moment called for it. Still, Steve had never expected Eddie to roll over, extend his pinkie and link their little fingers together. 
“I promise,” He assured, placing his lips to the knuckle of his thumb as though sealing the deal. 
The action was equal parts childlike and intense. Steve looked down at their interlaced fingers and knew he was in over his head. Warmth pooled in Steve’s fingertips. 
“Eds, I—,” A knock at the downstairs door made the words die on Steve’s lips. The boys pulled apart. Steve was cold. 
“I’ll get it,” Steve spoke, picking up the discarded nail bat and trudging down the stairs. 
He hoped it was one of the door-knocking jocks. Some primal part of him felt like hitting something. Years before, he would have questioned if he was the kind of person who could do it, but now he knew he could. 
Steve clutched at the bat hidden behind his back as he swung open the door, coming face-to-face with an older man dressed in too-short jean shorts, holding an armful of paper bags. He looked familiar. He’d seen the man with Hopper. A furrow etched its way onto his brow. 
“Aren’t you going to let your beloved uncle in, Steve?” The man spoke, loud enough for the people in the next neighbourhood to hear. 
“Right,” Steve mumbled, pushing the door open and stepping to the side. 
The man walked through the house as though he’d grown up within their walls, dropping the paper bags on the countertop, switching on the lights and examining the space. 
“Hopper sent me with supplies. It’d draw too much attention having the feds at your front door, but a visit from your favourite Uncle Murray? That’s incognito. I’ve got groceries and painkillers, slipped in some vodka too, on the house. Personally, I was thinking of making my homemade ravioli for dinner. Trust me, it’s to die for. Where’s the other one by the way?” The man, Murray, breathed, spinning on his heels to examine the interior of the house.  Steve let his nail bat fall to the floor.
“You really should invest in a gun, kid...Was I interrupting something?” The older man asked, gesturing absentmindedly to his balding head. Steve touched his hair and found it still out of place. He ran his fingers through it in an attempt to tame it. 
“No, we... I was sleeping. Eddie’s upstairs. I think he’s okay, but I could use another set of eyes. I don’t know exactly what I’m doing here. Are you staying?”
“I’m just staying for dinner. It’d look strange if your uncle only showed up for a few minutes, wouldn’t it?” Steve didn’t dignify that with an answer. 
“There’s the man of the hour,” Murray spoke, glancing up at the top of the staircase where Eddie stood, leaning heavily on the banister. 
“What happened to staying up there?” Steve spoke through gritted teeth, making his way back up the stairs. 
“You were taking too long,” Eddie muttered with an unbothered shrug. 
“And if it’d been one of Jason’s asshole friends, we’d have been screwed,” Steve rebutted, letting Eddie lean on him as they made their way to Murray in the kitchen. At least he could walk.
“But it wasn’t,” Eddie huffed, his breath warm on Steve’s neck. 
Steve kicked out one of the kitchen chairs and lowered Eddie into it. The older man watched them as a scientist observes a specimen. There was a morbid fascination to it.
“I see you two are getting along well,” He spoke. 
He’d found where Steve’s mother had stored their pots and had begun some strange kitchen alchemy. Steve had made risotto. This guy looked like he was completing a summoning ritual. The ingredients were splayed out on the countertop like objects of adoration. 
Steve sat down in the chair beside Eddie. It felt strange having someone else in the house. For what seemed like a lifetime, his world had consisted of one other person. He missed Robin, Dustin, and the rest of the kids, but he hadn’t let himself dwell on it. He’d known their isolation couldn’t last forever, but he’d never have guessed Murray would be the first person he’d see.  
“Tense mood. Why is it I always end up in the middle of couples in denial?” Murray breathed to himself. 
Eddie’s head snapped up with a speed Steve hadn’t seen him manage all week. Steve didn’t look at Murray, he was too busy trying to unpick the pained look on Eddie’s face. His eyes searched the boy’s body for some torn open wound he’d missed. 
“What? Don’t look so surprised. Contrary to what kids these days think, we did have homosexuality in the sixties,” Murray informed before pausing. He gave Steve a once-over that made his skin crawl. He felt as though he were a bug, pinned beneath a glass plate. 
“And bisexuality,” He clarified. 
Steve averted his eyes and reached over to squeeze Eddie’s knee. He was hopelessly lost in the conversation, but he knew something was wrong with Eddie. The boy jumped at the sudden contact and Steve pulled his hand away as though burnt. 
“So, what’s the problem? Still in denial?” Murray asked, levelling Steve with a knowing look. He scowled back at the man, ready for him to leave. 
“No. I think you know how you feel, maybe even how he feels.” Steve didn’t know how to respond. 
“You, however,” Murray continued, turning his attention to Eddie, the boiling pot on the stove, forgotten.
“I don’t think you have a clue. Self-esteem issues, maybe. You try to hide it, but you couldn’t imagine that someone in a house like this would look at you twice.” 
“What the hell, man?” Eddie breathed with a huff of indignation. Murray showed no signs of stopping. His eyes were back on Steve. 
“So, what’s holding you back? You got your heart broken after Nancy Wheeler. Let me guess, you keep saying how much you want commitment, but you keep dating the wrong people, people who don’t want to be tied down. That, my boy, is self-sabotage and him,” Murray spoke, indicating Eddie with a wooden spoon he’d been using to stir the rice. 
“He looks like a long-haul kind of guy.” 
“Dude,” Eddie interjected. 
“What? You’re both obviously attracted to one another. Don’t lie. I have eyes. You’re telling me that all this near-death stuff hasn’t made you re-evaluate your life a little? It’s just been you two, locked away together at the end of the world, helping each other heal. Seeking comfort in one another. You’ve got shared trauma. That kind of thing bonds you for life.” 
“Leave it alone,” Steve said, standing as he spoke. The chair scraped on the tile floor. A nails on a chalkboard kind of sound. 
Steve pushed past the older man, pulled the pot off the stove, and let a tense silence settle over the three of them. The subsequent dinner dragged on in uncomfortable silence. Steve and Eddie kept their eyes glued to their plates. Murray talked but neither paid attention. He gave Eddie’s wounds a once over, appearing as lost as Steve. He didn’t seem concerned, so Steve took it as a good thing. 
He thought he’d known what tense silence between himself, and Eddie felt like, but he’d known nothing compared to the moment Murray left. His whole body was on edge. Eddie wouldn’t meet his eyes. They needed to talk, but neither wanted to be the first to cave. 
“I was thinking of turning in early,” Steve spoke, not knowing what else to say. 
“Yeah. Me too.” 
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The boys lay side by side, but sleep didn’t come. Eddie’s body was wound tight as a tourniquet. This time, Steve was the one bleeding out. 
He wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what. Maybe that he was sorry. Murray was right. Steve had known Eddie liked him and he hadn’t said anything because it wasn’t a problem he could throw himself in front of. It’d be easier if he thought telling Eddie would end up with him getting hit. There were worse things. 
Eddie’s feelings had become more apparent as their time together wore on, but on some level, Steve had known long before. When Eddie had leaned over into his space smelling of cigarette ash, dried earth and sweat and called Steve some god-awful pet name, he’d known. He also knew the feelings weren’t one-sided. 
That revelation came later. Eddie had been fading in and out of consciousness. Steve had shaken him awake to redress his wounds when it happened. The boy awoke, shooting him a lopsided grin, gazing at Steve with his drowsy, doe eyes.
He’d crooned, ‘Good morning sunshine’. And that had been enough. 
Steve’s heart had stuttered to a halt as it had all the times before when a pretty girl had called him a prettier name. 
As much as Steve hated to admit it, Murray had been right about a lot of things. There was one thing Steve desperately wanted him to be wrong about. 
He and Eddie were bonded because of what they’d been through. That’s what the man had said. Shared trauma. Was that all they were?
Steve was back in the bathroom with Nancy, her white shirt, red. The whites of his eyes the moment she left, red. 
He knew where shared trauma got him. He’d try to bury it. To move past it. He wanted to be more than what was done to him. People would say he was running. He was bullshit. 
How was he meant to sit with the kind of stuff he and Eddie had been through? How was he meant to fight it? Would Steve always look at Eddie and see his death? Would Eddie always look at Steve and feel like dying? 
“I wished I’d met you later,” Steve spoke to the dark room. Eddie’s locked body loosened, and as it did, he started to shake. In a moment, he’d start to bleed too. 
“You know, normally people say they wished they’d met you sooner.” 
“I mean... I wish we’d met after everything with The Upside Down. That you hadn’t gotten dragged into it. I wish that we’d gotten to know each other the normal way,” Steve explained. Eddie snorted. 
“Can you imagine me doing anything the normal way?” He had a point. 
Steve didn’t know how to say what he wanted to say. The silence was back, looming large as a lunar eclipse. 
“You aren’t... weirded out by what he said? About me liking you?” Eddie’s voice was small. The only time Steve heard Eddie whisper was when he was dying. 
“I think he also said something about me liking you back,” Steve replied, glancing at Eddie’s profile only to find the man was already watching him. His face was contorted in confusion. 
“Then... what’s the problem here, Stevie?” 
Steve had never been good with his words. 
“What if we’ve ruined it?” He tried. At seeing a frown cross Eddie’s face, he knew he hadn’t done a good enough job at explaining. 
“With what’s happened between me and you. You never would’ve looked at me twice if I hadn’t saved you, and what if that’s all we’ve got? Shared trauma.” 
Bullshit. What if all they had was bullshit? Eddie finally understood.
“I don’t like you because you saved me, Steve. I like you because despite all the terrible shit you make me want to laugh.  I love that you’re shit at dancing, but you do it anyway. Also, screw that guy your risotto is better than his. You’re a good cook. Your stupid hair makes me want to slam my head in a car door and before you say anything, that’s a compliment. You care so damn much about everyone.” To Steve’s surprise, Eddie’s hand reached up to touch his cheek. 
“I don’t like you because we’ve been through bad shit together. I like you because you make me feel like one day, we’re going to get out on the other side of it, that things aren’t going to be like this forever,” Eddie finished.
Steve’s heart was a cardinal, beating itself bloody against a windowpane. 
“Can I kiss you?” Steve breathed. For the first time in a long time, he was nervous. 
Eddie’s smile was a lightning strike, bright, beautiful and something they’d shape gods after. 
“I thought you’d never ask.” 
Eddie’s lips were warm. 
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luna-lovegreat · 3 months
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So... Warriors
It is obvious by now he's not ok. He's irritable and tense.
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I've had thoughts and ideas on this for awhile, so I think now's a good time to speak them. Very important detail at the end.
There are some really big and some small things adding to his stress
The drama with the sword. Wild went against the agreed plan, and lashed out in anger fear for twilights injury. From things Jojo said, Wars is mad about it for a while.
I have said this in other posts, but based on things Jojo has said and some details, I do not think Wild likes wars. He has not really gotten close to him, which adds on to the negativity between them
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But Wars... is a captain. This journey is different, and he's doing amazing at setting aside expectations of how to work with rank. But that is still a clear stressor- to him that was unacceptable in battle
^this is one big thing we watched go wrong and has clearly been upsetting since
Another thing is
Wars has been taking on too much. We've seen him break up a fight at the inn, comfort Time (time!), and tell him he'd take care of the others.
Twice he said "let them", and "let him be"-making others have space they needed. He asked Four what was wrong and followed up with helping with smithing.
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^^These are all small things. None of these are huge- practically tiny tasks. But they add up- all the attention to others feeling but not his own
... and
Wars has not smiled. Yes, he smiled, but it was not his smile. Since Twilight went injured to the inn, there has only been smiles in a way expected, but not much beyond when he found out his friend wasn't dead. (And when he helped Four at the blacksmiths)
In the updates, I have seen others saying how cool/pretty he looked. Which he did! But emotion wise, I only thought he looked angry. Even when teasing Twilight...
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^Not his smile
But here's the biggest thing that I believe is bothering him...
I've wanted to point this out for awhile. The thing is, Wars was really hurt when he found out Twilight didn't tell him about Wolfie
It's small details. A few sentences and facial expressions. But they add up over the chapter, and I don't think he felt trusted or trusting when he found out
He tried to find out who else knew
And why he was one who didn't
*read the blurred words:
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"No one said anything to me, I'm just left out of the loop. Who else knows? Just us?"
Wolfie being secret wasn't necessarily about trust, but wars took it personally. He really didn't understand or want to accept that Twilight would have told some of the others but not him...
Wars is distinctly closer to the ones his age, who the younger ones often turn to. And as someone who's been through war, who bonds closest with those he feels he works with best?
Twilight having a major secret he didn't share with Wars, but did with others,
Felt like a knife to the (back?) chest.
And it hurt him
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Look at his face when saying "we couldn't do a thing for him". He's looking away, directly after asking four and wild if they knew. I don't think he felt trusted. Or trusting. From thinking someone wasn't who he thought he was, and maybe was closer to others...
^^this is what I think is perhaps the biggest stressor- yet most unnoticeable
Wars never spoke to anyone about his feelings. He pushed it aside and went and helped.
This is ok. Between people so close, anything can be worked out. This is very revealing of how much Wars cares about twilight and the others
As far as Warriors pushing aside his needs and focusing on others... it's hard.
But I can confidently say this: Warriors would never want to not help all he could, when the others needed him
Here's this screenshot that makes me laugh (and somehow sky is just chill with this?)
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Wars: oh my god my friend just came back from a wolf what the Hylia who can I even trust I'm having an invisible crisis
Sky: oh yay the sword helped he's back :)
Twilight: I'm fine *currently dying*
Wars is stressed right now. He's taken on too much, he's probably still mad at Champion, and... he feels betrayed (god wars should never have to feel betrayed) and untrusted
Like literally everyone ever others, wars deals with his hurt. Sometimes he can't deal with it alone, and sometimes he can. It will all work out, and I love how much he loves his brothers.
But nothing, I repeat nothing
Will be ok
IF HE DOESNT START WEARING THE DAMN SCARF SOON CMON WE HAVENT SEEN IT IN LIKE TEN UPDATES
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PUT ON YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SCARF CMON MAN
Ok I'm calm <3
.
Art and comic by Jojo @linkeduniverse :D
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