#i love family so bad

[squishymar]

me 🤝 neverafter screenshots = grade a content

#fantasy high junior year #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year spoilers #d20 #vulture #screenshot #my edit #this is so stupid #bad kids #i love family so bad #dropout #kristen applebees #ally beardsley #lou wilson #siobhan thompson #neverafter

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[kookies2000]

As someone who grew up in a household where men were never allowed to show affection, let alone to another man, from fear of being seen as weak.............

These forehead touches between friends/bros are so healing to me. Please, we need more of this. Platonic affection between men is beautiful, and I wish I had grown up with it.

#puss in boots the last wish #puss in boots #perrito puss in boots #perrito #mario and luigi #mario movie spoilers #the mario movie #super mario #the super mario bros movie #mario #luigi #love #platonic #platonic love #brotherly love #this is just too pure for me #i wish I saw all the men in my life be this affectionate with their friends and family's #Spainard Mexican and Italian men in my family were always trying to be macho #so this just heals a lot of my bad memories

[spielzeugkaiser]

How it started-

How it's going!! They are a family and I am!!! also draw the hug you want to see in the show but they are forgiven because them meeting in brokilon was still soooo tender my HEART-

#the witcher season 3 #the witcher #geralt of rivia #geraskier #jaskier #the witcher spoilers #(at least discussed in the text) #they've come such a long way and I'm still sitting here like 🥺🥺🥺 #man if you think of the timeline (which is so whack) Geralt and Jaskier have SEEN things #they have been going on for more than twenty years #they are FAMILY and that gets me so bad and I'll draw the whole squad probably tomorrow but!! look at them #somehow the end of season 3 is everything I wanted from season 1 when it came to those two because it had some S1 vibes again with the duo! #but it was so much more heartfelt and tender and not even an ounce of Geralt being seemingly annoyed of Jaskier just- #clenches fist #I'm so basic for still loving them so much but I simply do and will never stop 😔 #but I gotta say I loved the yenralt this season too I can finally see it and it was very sweet at times

[proxythe]

aki cussing ppl out over the phone is like a sweet sweet lullaby <3

#my art #persona 3 #akihiko sanada #shinjiro aragaki #ken amada #koromaru #shinjiaki #akishinji #& their son ken of course #& their other son koromaru of course #loving the idea aki doesnt even acknowledge the cuddle pile #he accepts it and goes back to arguing with junpei over the phone #completely ignorant of anatomy i just wanted to be silly for once in my stupid baka life #love this little family so bad

[ladeldee]

I just like the idea that once Missa hears Phil has another "kid" he'd try and do whatever he can to help and Phil feels emotions about it

#Qsmp #Qsmp fanart #Pissa #qsmp shipping #qsmp philza #qsmp missa #qsmp Wilbur #I'd like to think the difference in style and shading relates to the contrast of scenarios! The first one is comedic- #while the second one is more serious and genuine in mood #Definitely not because I tryharded for the second scene #I have rotated this family in my mind so much aaGH #I just think Phil would fall a little more in love hearing Missa care about the people that are close to him #Also it is late I just would love to see Missa and Wilbur interact so bad and Missa being like: Okay as your father I'm going to help you #Missa may just have as much if not a bit more than Wilbur does but I think it could be a really funny dynamic #Anyway maybe Pissa reunion today prayge

[sensitiveheartless]

Chuuya Week Day 3: Found Family

(Or, Adam and the three messy teenagers he’s taken under his wing)

#sometimes family is: #a traumatized overpowered teen #his problematic edgy love interest #a bestie who makes bad decisions involving knives #and the best android detective in the world #I love these four so much. I would happily read so much of them running around together they’re such a messy group of dynamics #chuuyaweek2024 #chuuyaweek24 #bsd #my art #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #bsd adam #bsd shirase #bungou stray dogs #bsd storm bringer #bsd stormbringer

[suja-janee]

(Mostly) Harumi centric doodle page for a friend

#mortal kombat 1 #mk1 #mortal kombat #harumi shirai #tomas vrbada #mk smoke #kuai liang #mk scorpion #hanzo hasashi #I still don’t know how to feel about her and Kuai Liang #unless nrs releases more content #I dunno I think they have potential to be a cute couple but for now it’s still sus #also! I love to hc that harumi got Tomas to open up to kuai #cause uhhh the Lin Kuei kinda killed his family #so harumi is like ‘ey bro they’re not so bad when you get to know them… except for bi Han… fuck that guy’ #bi Han would highkey make a tree house and put up a ‘no girls allowed’ sign and she never forgave him for that #if bi Han ends up being the reason she dies in this timeline it would kinda be funny cause he’d be like ‘I never liked you’ #and she’d be like ‘me neither you stupid boy’ #and he’s like ‘yknow what this isnt even about kuai liang anymore- screw you’ #doodles #my art

[twinstxrs]

this is such a simple but good bad kids friendship moment to me. fabian being the first one to say hi to gorgug when he shows up in the middle of the investigation, followed by fig. gorgug saying hi but communicating that he doesn’t want to talk & them both not understanding but going “okay.” gorgug saying hi to riz as a form of acknowledgement even though he’s in full blown investigative mode & probably hasn’t realized gorgug is there yet. gorgug feeling comfortable enough to just put on his headphones & unwind while sitting there with his friends. they’ve come so far from freshman year ❤️

#THEY ALL UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER SO MUCH NOW THEY’RE ALL FRIENDS I LOVE THEM #not pictured: kristen waving & adaine giving a vague acknowledgment from their spot on the floor surrounded by books. #adaine would do more but she’s still trying to get all the dust out of her eyes. #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #gorgug thistlespring #fabian seacaster #riz gukgak #fig faeth #kristen applebees #adaine abernant #the bad kids #yea kristen adaine technically not mentioned in the main post but i felt bad not including them in tags so #THAT’S FAMILY!!!! #remember when fabian punched gorgug in the stomach. remember when fabian & fig socially ruined gorgug… we’ve come so far!

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies #(more thoughts at the end of the tags) #shameless #shamelessnet #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #cameron monaghan #*macygifs #bipolar disorder #hello pals how are we doin #i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags #and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes) #i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation #that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day #world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder #which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life #while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life #and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines #over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful #i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended #hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles #world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder #and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized) #it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all #it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen #so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can. #we are worth it #i promise #anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder #go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives

[kylejsugarman]

the irony of walt jr (flynn) being named after his father when he is, in every conceivable way, the opposite of him. for every selfish, cowardly, cruel thing walt did, flynn just became more generous, brave, and loving. playing with holly and giving her love while walt is out "working for his family" and neglecting them in the process. inventing gofundme to save his father's life while walt sits there and seethes because no one's giving Him any kudos for his earnings. comforting a high, weepy walt on his own birthday. throwing himself in front of skyler to protect her, doing more for her in that one gesture than walt has ever done for either of them. flynn had every virtue that walt Believed himself to have and everything he did, he truly did for his family.

#syd squeaks #I know its old news at this point but I love flynn so much that its truly unreal #that kid was so brave and kind and had to be so mature while his family unraveled around him #breaking bad #walter white #flynn white #skyler white

[n4rval]

your gaster looks very friendly. i would pat him on the head but im too short

i know what you want anon dnw i got u

#artwork #inbox #wd gaster #gaster #undertale #deltarune #just in case i disappear. merry valemtines #oohh bastard gaster this evil gaster that / this silly grandpa: #hes a little creepy. a little spooky. more than a little crazy. but overall goofy and friendly yes #just a guy who wants a family so bad #do you care him #would you brush this egg #and polish his bald head until it reflects like a mirror #pat him pinch his cheeks squish him love him #show him hes deserving of all things great and wonderful and its never too late

[calethescammer]

What if Cale had a habit of wandering to high balconies or roof tops and just sitting there whenever he was stressed/sad?

See it this way: Kim Rok Soo had the habit of roaming around destroyed buildings and finding a high spot and just sitting there? Perhaps he liked seeing the horizon. Or maybe he wanted to see how far the destroyed area stretched to. Or maybe he thought of it as his responsibility to look out for anyone injured, who may still be looking for help. Either way, it brought him peace, some sort of serenity and quietness.

So anyways, as Cale, after the conflicts with White Star started, his habit involuntarily reappeared. He would frequently go on roof tops, sometimes a tall tree or just sit upon the balustrade of his balcony. His feet hanging, his heart quiet and his gaze fixated on nothingness.

And now imagine someone, maybe Raon or Ron, catching him sitting on the edge of the balcony with a blank face. Then the panic, the chaos, and maybe Cale lost his footing because of the startling shout, and he fell down before balancing himself mid-air thanks to the wind ap.

Now imagine him trying to explain that it was just on a whim, that he has no intentions of hurting himself, but the children keep on sobbing and his family hang their heads down with despairing eyes, and now Cale feels helpless.

And maybe he feels a pang of guilt, because sometimes, just sometimes, he had a fleeting thought, a nonsensical urge to jump off, not to hurt himself, like he hated pain more than anything, and of course, living was the best, but there was the curiosity to see how it would feel, first the amazement, then the numbness, and finally the quietness of his Records.

It's only a thought, he convinced himself. But that didn't stop his habit, the worrying gazes of his family and their watchful eyes on Cale, and the relentless explanations that would follow, with Cale always failing to convince them that he is fine.

#and the fact that he seemed hesitant in his explanations worried his fam further #that hesitation was because he felt as if he was lying #he tries to shake off such thoughts but Record makes it worse #AHHHHH I want to write this so bad 😭😭😭 #personally love those misunderstandings where they aren't really misunderstandings but still are #trash of the count's family #lout of the count’s family #tcf #lcf #cale henituse #tcf prompt #lcf prompt #tcf angst #kim rok soo #tcf novel #writing

[mugentakeda]

not even harvards top scientists could understand the complexities of the azula-iroh beef lore that i made up in my head

(silly bonus under the cut)

#YES THIS IS A REPOST. Again. my bad #they both suck so bad i love them... best uncle niece dynamic in fiction ever..... theyre the same in all the worst ways.... #yes im an iroh fan yes i think azula can hit him with a comically large mallet we exist #“how do u think iroh and azula are the same but think azula should be allowed to beat irohs ass”. ill give you 3 reasons #1. shes a female. 2 shes not a boy. 3. and most importantly SHES A GIRL #waiter waiter more irrepairable family relationships please!!!!!!!!!! #id go on a 10 yr long spiel about my thoughts and hcs abt their dynamic and what they think ab each other but i shall Refrain. #lu ten couldve been the dad that stepped up but he had to eat shit and die for the plot and good of the world. Amen. #azula #iroh #lu ten #zuko #atla #avatar the last airbender #alicias art

[fumifooms]

There’s something so viscerally sad about Thistle devoting his whole life body and soul to the family who bought him and put him in a clown costume

#Every time you sit at the dinner table further down from the REAL family you push down the self-doubts. You belong. You belong.You earned it #You are worthy #and like he does! Or does he really… They love him but just how do they see him? #Does he have to play the luth in the corner of the room to be able to spend time with his baby nephew? Entertainer or advisor or brother? #Ehem #dungeon meshi #thistle #spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #I have a theory though that the jester costume is a false perception of how tallmen thought elves dressed. #So then bc a bunch of courts want an elf it became a ‘dress the elf up in their cultural attire!’ thing tm and jester outfits became a thin #A touch of elven inspiration and just a load of bs and bad tailoring decisions

[scatterbrainedbot]

I AM SPINNING I AM PACING I AM FULL ON FROLICKING IM SO EXCITED

@d1sc0rd1a THANK U FOR THESE TAGS

okayokayokayokay so pretty much all of these questions will be Officially Answered properly in the character design/intro pages im working on but also i am physically vibrating with excitement about the fact that you noticed all these details and i have very little self control so! lore dump time!!!

(minor tw for mentions of leos self-harm/self-destructive anxious behaviors and unhealthy coping skills)

- mikey does indeed have curly fur! i believe he would be considered a 'rex' rat (pictured on the left) for this trait? though the curls can be more easily seen on mice (pictured on the right). or, at least it seems that way. have not delved too deeply into the details of rodent genes and husbandry, but id assume its the same sort of mutation considering curly haired mice are also referred to as rex sometimes? either way hes a extra floofy bby 🧡

-as for raphie, unfortunately being more fluff and less shell than the average rapheal comes with its downsides. especially if you and your brothers occasionally encounter things like territorial dogs, hungry cats, or sewer crocodiles while exploring places ur dad said not supposed to go. (most of his scars will have more ninja related stories, but his ear i think got messed up from something very animal. probably around age 11 ish? old enough to sneak out from dads protection but young enough to not fully know how to handle himself alone against real danger. thankfully his ear injury looks worse than it actually is for the most part, as the damage was largely to the outer ear. his hearing wasnt super affected, except that he now has a bit of a harder time being able to track/pinpoint noises origins if its on his right side.)

-also yep! dons got some glasses that just clip/rest on the bridge of his nose! theyre mostly just for home use, as they do fall off if hes knocked around. in the field he has some goggles he tends to use (theyre helpful as they have multiple additional functions like heat-imaging, extra zoom/telescoping, and recording capabilities. but also theyll give him headaches if he wears them for too long without breaks). contacts are theoretically also an option but he absolutely hates the sensation of putting them in. so sometimes when hes tired he'll just not bother with either clips or goggles and just squint and struggle. leo hates when he does that lol.

-speaking of leo, he is def an anxious baby :) he has a few patches of fur missing on his hand cos he has the tendency to tug on it while hes thinking. he yanked and chewed on his own tail a lot when he was younger too, which is why when hes older he usually wears some wraps to cover the scars left from that behavior. he finds those scars specifically to be kinda embarrassing and shameful because they werent from any battle or life-lesson, just his own 'inability to control himself'. all of his brothers have repeatedly called him out on the fact that that is not a healthy way to think about his anxiety or mental health, but leo insists hes fine. hes kinda convinced himself that a proper warrior always has control over his own body* and his own thoughts, thus he should be able to just like willpower-brute-force his way into 'being better'. (this line of thinking pisses raph off so much he has to leave and go hit something)

Splinter also tries to talk him through some of that internalized guilt/shame/everything, but splinters very metaphorical, poetic, and indirect when it comes to talking about Big Things, which combined with how much leo gets caught in his own head, makes it kinda hard to gauge how much these talks actually help

*this is made extra fun considering leos also ftm trans, so he is faced with a body that fundamentally disobeys him perhaps more than the average rat-man.

-and im still going back and forth between a few species for splinter, but im leaning mostly towards an African Spurred Tortoise! they have these beautiful if kinda subtle geometric shell patterns and are the third largest species of tortoise in the world. the only thing that doesnt fit perfectly with Splints is that (allegedly) their lifespan in captivity is around 50ish years, whereas im p sure Tortoise Splinter is well over 75, probably closer to 90 when the boys are born and hes mutated into Old Man Papa.

but maybe hes just a particularly long lasting African Spurred Tortoise.

the Hamato family has taken very good care of him for many decades after all. :)

(well. until everything all fell apart, that is.....)

#tmnt #rat sons #my art #tmnt au #literally bouncing around the room thinking about this all #my downstairs neighbors are gonna hate me #ask reply #sort of??? #pats leos fucked up lil head #this bad boy can fit so much projection #get out of ur head idiot ur family loves and wants to help u #also looking at the chaco tortoise and ploughshare tortoise for splinter thoboth of those are smaller species than i think he is