#i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which -

[enhanced-operatives-division]

Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble

I will not be brief, all under the cut

To clear some things right off the bat:

No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.

Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality

The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.

This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.

Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:

Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.

All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.

Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).

And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.

At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.

I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.

Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.

This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.

It shifts something between them.

From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.

As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.

Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.

Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.

I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.

I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.

I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.

As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.

I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.

Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great

#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one #i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking #and he said “girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped #i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format #anyways. #THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever.. #this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good. #it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen) #also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head #idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard. #whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope #im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT #ieytd #john juniper #reginald crane #junicrane #starstruck #i expect you to die #<- being BRAVE!!! #when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that #the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :( #but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH #also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah. #god im so messed up about these two #make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG..... #i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which - #- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL #GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall....... #FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga #thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry

[yomiurinikei]

utsuro?

brief emeto joke that’s the only cw i think? anyways. this fucking guy…..

- My identity hc for them

iiii….. think his whole “nothing matters because i get whatever i want” had already set in by the time he would’ve really started getting interested in other people? i don’t really have identity hcs for him i don’t think he actually exists. collective hallucination by the entire sdra cast.

also i think the divine luck got him gender affirming healthcare. but anyways.

- Thoughts on their home life/family

i hope his parents explode ! anyways i wonder if utsuro (prior to his no emotions no attachment era) was like damn i’ll find some people to actually love and respect me!! and sure enough found a couple willing to love and dote on him w/o knowing about his divine luck but he got paranoid and dipped out because he felt he was forcing them into it and they actually hated him.

- How i feel about their canonical writing/handling

underutilized sorry. sooo much more could’ve been said could have been done et cetera. the ramifications of the divine luck are underused his coming back in sdra2 was underused etc etc. there’s sooo much that could be said with him and it’s so easy to do it is the smallest fucking reach and linuj is like. this is utsuro he is like kamakura but with divine luck :). and everyone was like omg so true!! and he’s reduced down and isn’t handled with actual depth. like. there’s Reasons for why he is the way he is. aaa!

- The one thing i’d want to make canon about them

system. for utsuro specifically i think he struggles a lot with detachment and has frequent dissociative episodes. he’s not quite prone to third person/out of body episodes but i think he struggles with orienting himself in the world (spatial awareness) and staying aware of his surroundings.

- My number one favorite ship for them

*looks up from where i’m poking utsuro with a stick while in the rain* huh.

- …Now everyone else i ship with them

*goes back to poking at him*

- The thing i will NEVER ship

utsutai. im pretty much chilling with whatever else (above answers were just me conveying that idgaf im neutral whatever happens happens!) but i think reading their interactions as romantic is a disservice to their characters. like if u look at them and go yeah there was romantic love and desire to date here. ?????

- a dynamic/relationship i wish was explored more (in canon, or in fandom)

was trying to think of smthn and i think we should chat about utsuros feelings on mikako more. she tries to get him yeeted in ch5 as we all know and also there’s everything with pre game and it’s just. ??? why do we not address this. alsoooo i’ve yet to see like. a non despair/post game/etc au or fic or anything that portrays utsuros vibe with the voids/cou in a way i enjoy. so. …. maybe i need to read more fic tho

- thoughts on their design (appearance-wise)

cute! sometimes it looks a bit off to me but i think that’s just a matter of hues/undertones. i reaaaally like his color palette in sdra2, it hits right there. i’ll always think the color choices of the uniform were a bit silly but ultimately it looks cute!! in dra it’s just a weird mix of warm hues vs gray undertones (this applies to like.. skin and hair not just clothes) but sdra2 looks very nice!!!

- A music-related thought- a song that reminds me of them, or what their music taste is, etc

AGH. hold it in, and beady eyes on the horizon, both by jukebox the ghost. i don’t want to talk about it tho. i have nothing else to say. im gonna go throw up over beta.

#utsuro #yomis ask meme

[sunflower-butch]

and here I am again, being a menace in your inbox. 1, 3, 4, 6, 11, 13 for run away (crying to your soul)

Hello again! Fun fact, I fully believe this fic to be my worst fic even though it’s my most popular 🤪

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I saw a TikTok about Steve getting Vecna’d and his song being Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears For Fears > I started thinking about Vecna songs > what the fuck would Robin’s be? > oh Robin would be such a good candidate to be Vecna’d actually > looking for Robin gets Vecna’d fics and not finding many > “fine I’ll do it myself” > spontaneously writing my first fanfic fucking ever and proceeding to dive face first into the worst case of brainrot I’ve ever had to date. Hallelujah

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

Cheating again, this is technically in an unfinished chapter so sneak peek ig hehe

Nancy had revenge tattooed on her heart, black ink that sank deep into the muscle, turning it hard and blackened and cold. Her wrath was all encompassing. A bullet, chilled lead, sat heavy in her pocket, carved with one, singular name: Vecna. She would kill him for what he had done to her hometown, but especially for hurting Robin. And she would survive the encounter on ice cold rage and spite alone.

In conclusion: Nancy Wheeler shoot me please <33

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Again dialogue is one of my weak points help omfg

“There is a suspicious number of love songs,” she teased.

Nancy hid her face in her hands.

“Robbie—“ she whined, cutting herself off. She seemed to be struggling for words.

“‘Crush On You’ by The Jets? ‘Lay All Your Love On Me’ by ABBA? ‘True Blue’ by Madonna?” she listed, wiggling her eyebrows. Nancy dissolved into a flustered mess.

“It really seems like you’re trying to say something, princess.”

She was so certain of it, Robin realized. Their shared moments over the past few days played over and over in her mind, and she came to a pair of conclusions.

She liked Nancy Wheeler. And Nancy Wheeler liked her back.

“Robbie, I’m going to kill you,” Nancy groaned, shoving the other girl away.

Robin smirked, flopping back on the bed.

“I was hoping for another k word,” she teased.

I really like writing these bitches just being soft for each other. Silly gay people. They fill me with cuteness aggression and I’m shaking them violently

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

Well for one, this is legitimately the first fic I’ve ever written. I spontaneously hopped on the fic writing train late late late July this year with this fic, and it’s still ongoing. I think it’s messy and the pacing is weird and it’s unbeta’d but it’s kind of charming like that I guess, and I like to think you can kind of see how I fell into the characters and developed my writing style as the story goes on? Idk, it has the same energy as ugly-cute animals, like pugs.

11: What do you like most about this fic?

Stop making me be nice to this flaming piece of garbage 🔫

But in all seriousness, like I said, I think you can track my development as a fic writer over the past several months, and I really enjoy the dynamic between Robin and Nancy through this whole thing. I also think my music choices are very Big Brain and Correct.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

I have an unofficial fic playlist that I used just for writing vibes, as well as the mixtape Nancy made for Robin in one of the later chapters! Basically a lot of 80’s music and Maya Hawke with a couple other songs sprinkled in because they were favorites at the time or just the vibes were fitting. Specific shoutout to “Smalltown Boy” by Bronski Beat as Robin’s Vecna song, and “Seventeen” by Janis Ian being runner up. I did a bit of research in queer music artists of the 80’s because it was important to me that, whether or not she knew it, Robin’s Vecna song was by a queer person/band! Also special shoutouts to this playlist and this playlist, which are just favorite songs and work really well for me to write to. (I have the best music taste, actually, btw, and I don’t have an ego about it—)

#lo answers stuff #candle lion #I have a hate love relationship with this fic #and I need to update it #also you’re one of my favorite people to ge menacing the askbox so please feel free to drop by any time lmfao

[slightecho]

I can ask, what's the best way to stay focused on a chapter story and not give up on it? I want to finish mine and make it good and have people rave to me about it, but it's just so hard when admittedly I'm having trouble with where I should take the story and plus I don't really have any beta readers or friends to give their opinions or possibly even help me.

This is a really good question! One that I struggle with too a lot of the time, and a big struggle I’m having right now with the current chapter!

Like you, I actually don’t have any beta readers! I don’t even show my girlfriend much ahead of time 😅 So it’s just me and myself trying to figure it out when I’m stuck.

My first piece of advice is to walk away. Not forever! But sometimes you reach a point where you’ve hit a wall and no amount of pushing that wall is gonna topple it over. But if you walk away for a few hours, do something else like play a game or eat a snack or do other work, you’ll come back from a different angle with refreshed eyes, and you might find there’s a doorway you couldn’t see before bc you were too busy trying to push the wall down! Focus isn’t something you can force! And if you’re not vibing with something and can’t stay focused on it, then it’s okay to walk away and take a break! Sometimes it’s better off if you do!

My next suggestion is to ask yourself questions about what you’re writing. Basic ones. Like the kind of silly things your English teacher would have asked you about assigned books in class. “Why include this part? Why is it important? What purpose does showing this serve the story I’m trying to tell?” The answers don’t have to be deep or analytical. Sometimes my answer is just “because it shows this character is this trait” or “it moves the plot forward” I personally tend to prioritize Character over Plot bc i know as a reader, I come back to things for the characters I love. (And at the end of the day, as cheesy at it is, I think this classic advice is best interpreted literally: “write for yourself” as if you were the reader) A really good example of this is the current chapter I’m working on! (Skip the next paragraph if you don’t wanna read about my specific example/don’t want minor spoilers for the next chapter of Ashes)

I lost the plot BIG TIME on this chapter and realized after about 6k(!!! 😩) that the vibes were off and I wasn’t showing anything I wanted to show without rushing it and i had to stop, walk away, listen to the music that was the correct “vibe” I was trying to capture, and come back the next day and ask myself where I went wrong. Without spoiling anything, it turns out I went wrong by focusing too much on the wrong characters: This chapter I’m writing is about the Blights and about Hunter. So why had I spent 6k in Raine and Vee’s point of view?! Because i thought it made the plot clearer to the reader?? I don’t write with plot as my Number 1 Priority, i write for Character! That’s what I like! So my solution was to go back to Character first: ditch Raine and Vee’s POV. Sure, it meant getting rid of a scene I really liked, but again… did that one scene really serve the plot or any major characters arc? No. So it sadly had to go. What served the purpose of the chapter better was a new opening scene with the Blights, to show the family dynamic i wanted to show with them, and then rearranging and editing the Hunter pieces from his POV, instead of Raines (bc why tf did I write it in Raine’s?! The reader already knows what Raine’s probably thinking in this scene! It was literally in the last chapter!)

Sometimes bringing it back to the basics is the best way to give yourself the answer you’re looking for. Focus can’t always be forced and it’s infinitely healthier to walk away. I promise, your writing will still be there after you’ve had a lil snack, hydrated and gotten your mind on something else for a bit 🥰 And if that still doesn’t help, you know the story you want to tell best! Write for yourself as if you were the reader. Maybe all the plot isn’t there yet, but that’s okay: you still know your characters and what you want to show the reader about them!

Hope this helps, and feel free to reach out if you have anymore questions! I love talking about the process with others 🖤

#echo writes #toh ashes au #spoilers #echo asks #echo advises #idk what to tag this lol!

[of-mice-and-mirth]

Hear me out:

The Weasley household is an ABBA household.

I'm listening to ABBA right now and I literally can't stop thinking about it.

Molly and Arthur dance around the kitchen to their greatest hits - ABBA Gold was the first vinyl that Arthur tracked down when he managed to get his hands on a muggle record player, and it's been the soundtrack to most of their relationship. They slow dance or they really go for it - like, Molly be shimmying and Arthur spins her around and throws out some absolute moves. They like 'The Medley' a lot.

Whenever Fred and George catch them slow dancing, they'll start dancing together very badly to take the piss, and Molly usually flaps a tea towel at them whilst Arthur rolls his eyes and chuckles. The twins secretly love it, but they prefer the more upbeat songs like 'Does Your Mother Know', 'Rock Me', or something silly like the 'King Kong Song'.

Georgie struggles to listen to ABBA after the war, especially the ones that he and Fred used to listen to together, or the ones he knows were Fred's favourites, but he slowly learns to love them again, if cautiously. It takes a long time, but he begins to associate ABBA with love, family, and the good memories he has of Fred, rather than Fred's absence.

Percy absolutely hated it when he lived at the Burrow and always hurumphed when 'Money, Money, Money' started playing (I think Percy was a very bitter person for a long time). But, after he moves out, and especially as the dust begins to settle after the war, he finds that ABBA songs comfort him and remind him of home. He likes the slower ones, I think, the sweet ones.

Ron pretends to dislike ABBA around other people, thinking its "uncool" or whatever, but it's one of his favourite things about coming home from school for the holidays. It's all so familiar to him and it makes him feel warm inside. It's the only time he can visibly enjoy ABBA, in his mind (unless Fred and George start taking the piss out of him, in which case he'll tell them to shove off and make himself look busy doing something else).

Ginny Weasley absolutely eats 'Dancing Queen' on karaoke. Also, Ginny is quite partial to 'Angeleyes', 'That's me', 'Honey, Honey,' and 'Gimme, Gimme, Gimme.'

Ginny definitely has a feather boa specifically for ABBA listening purposes. The twins have definitely stolen it on more than one occasion.

Whenever Ginny is sad or upset, Fred and George will sit on either side of her and quote 'Chiquitita' - not singing it, just taking turns to speak the lyrics - until she either cracks a smile or whacks one of them.

Hermione also vibes with 'Angeleyes', but I think she likes ABBA casually, and doesn't listen to them by choice very often. However, she listens to the sad or breakup songs when she feels down. 'What's the Name of the Game?', 'I Have a Dream', 'I Am Just a Girl' vibes?

The Weasleys always play 'Happy New Year' after the countdown each year. Every year. It's a Weasley Family Tradition. And, where ever he is in the world, Charlie finds a way to play the song each year as well.

Charlie also finds himself absently humming or whistling random bits of 'Gonna Sing You My Love' or 'S. O. S' when tending to dragons. When he realises what he's humming, he smiles to himself and thinks of home.

Bill introduces Fleur to ABBA, who isn't too excited by them at first, but I think they slow dance to some of them. Like, 'Andante, Andante'? Oh yeah. She likes the ones with French in them, obviously, but she begins to love ABBA because Bill loves them.

Harry gets looped into all of this as well, of course, and I think he loves it. Not just because it's a Weasley thing, but I genuinely think he enjoys a bit of ABBA. It's fun music, easy to love, and it brings him closer to the Weasleys. Harry never got to listen to music with the Durselys, other than what was playing on the radio occasionally, so he loves that the Weasley house is always full of noise, laughter, and music.

Is this a lot? Yes. Can I stop thinking about this? No.

Feel free to fight me in the comments about this, or better yet, let me know what ABBA songs you think the Weasleys vibe to!

#Harry Potter #The Weasleys #Molly Weasley #Arthur Weasley #Fred Weasley #George Weasley #Ron Weasley #Ginny Weasley #Percy Weasley #Bill Weasley #Charlie Weasley #Fleur Delacour #Hermione Granger #ABBA #ABBA Gold #Harry Potter headcanons #Weasley headcanon #Harry Potter headcanon

[carmichealroyals]

CHARACTER INSPIRATION // C H A L L E N G E

Rules: Write up a blurb or make a visual collage of the people or characters (from books, TV shows, movies, etc.) that inspired your OC, either visually, personality wise, or just a general vibe.

I was tagged by this by so many lovely pals -- @thelockwoodroyals, @wa-royal-tea AND @ourwillowcreekroyals !!! I only feel bad that it took me so long but I wanted it to be as perfect as it could be while taking time to fiddle with Photoshop more (thank you @royaldevilliers for answering my silly questions). Below the cut are the descriptions for the personality types and tropes for each of the main three kids of this next generation! 

Not sure who’s done this yet, so if you see this and you want to do it, this is me telling you to do it!

CHARLOTTE:

The Protagonist:  Protagonists are natural-born leaders, full of passion and charisma. Forming around two percent of the population, they are oftentimes our politicians, our coaches and our teachers, reaching out and inspiring others to achieve and to do good in the world. With a natural confidence that begets influence, Protagonists take a great deal of pride and joy in guiding others to work together to improve themselves and their community.

Spirited Young Lady:  She is the girl who bends the rules just a little. Oh, she can dance a country dance or pour tea with the best of them, but she may also be a good walker or horseback rider. She may be the most intelligent girl in the story, and she is almost certainly the wittiest and the most outspoken, sometimes earning her the title of spitfire. She may be talented in more practical ways, as well: if given the opportunity, she may turn out to be a wise investor, and she may harbor talent for music, writing, or art that goes beyond drawing room entertainment and might become a means of financial independence if necessary. In rare cases, she may even solve a murder. Though she occasionally runs into some trouble, especially if she fails to obey the powers that be, she usually comes through in the end.

Deadpan Snarker: A character prone to gnomic, sarcastic, sometimes bitter, occasionally whimsical asides.The Deadpan Snarker exists to deflate pomposity, point out the unlikelihood of certain plans, and deliver funny lines. Typically the most cynical supporting character. In most cases, it is implied that the snarker would make a good leader, strategist, or consultant given their ability to instantly see the flaws in a constructed plan. More often than not, their innate snarkiness is the only thing preventing the other characters from comprehending this for themselves.

Politically Active Princess:  The Politically Active Princess is a princess that takes active interest in and plays an active role in politics. Naive courtiers and commoners alike might view her only as a figurehead, but in truth, she discreetly uses her position and guile in order to achieve her ends. Skilled in diplomacy, she will usually attempt to solve conflicts via conversation or bargaining, rather than combat. Her defining trait is her involvement in politics or diplomatic matters, without letting herself serve only as a bargaining chip.

Inspired by: Mia Thermopolis (The Princess Diaries); Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls); Vex’ahlia (Critical Role); Jenny Lee (Call the Midwife)

PETER: 

The Architect:  It can be lonely at the top. As one of the rarest personality types – and one of the most capable – Architects (INTJs) know this all too well. Rational and quick-witted, Architects may struggle to find people who can keep up with their nonstop analysis of everything around them.

The Dog Bites Back:  Unlike the Bastard Understudy and The Starscream, this character attacks as a crime of opportunity. There is no danger that he will take over the villain's place in the grand scheme of things. There is, however, a possibility that he will menace the others as a True Final Boss. The backstabber often ends up dead, but this is usually not Redemption Equals Death because their motive is not noble. Innocent victims who turn on the villain typically do it only for revenge, while evil victims prove that they were fine with all of the Big Bad's crimes except the one committed against them.

Middle Child Syndrome: Everyone loves the oldest child because the parents can rely on them, they watch out for their siblings, and they're so confidently attractive. The Youngest Child Wins because they're the "baby". But what does that leave the one in the middle? That's essentially the definition of Middle Child Syndrome, in which a child automatically may become The Unfavorite or the rebellious Black Sheep, specifically because they are the easiest child to overlook. They're not old enough to be given the responsibilities and privileges of the oldest, and the youngest child took their spot as the spoiled and doted-on "baby" of the family. This tends to be more of an issue when there are three children rather than four or more. Oftentimes in media, the middle child ends up becoming more of the Deadpan Snarker or the quirky one for this reason.

The Un-Favorite: Where there's an Alpha wolf, there's got to be a Beta. When there is a first banana, there is a second banana. This is the person in the family who can't get a break. For example, this is the child who's the big let-down to their parents, the daughter that was supposed to be a son (or vice-versa), the child the parents had by accident when they'd already decided they didn't need another mouth to feed, the adoptive, foster, or stepchild that came before the parents had a biological child, the illegitimate child conceived by infidelity on the part of one of the parents (if not even worse). But all in all, this is basically the kid who is always getting the short-end of the stick. In some extreme cases, this may cause Rich Sibling, Poor Sibling, especially if one sibling is forced into service to the other. A regular line that may be entailed with this is a variant of, "Honestly, [name], why can't you be more like [favorite's name]?"

Inspired by: Edith Crawley (Downton Abbey); Fiyero (Wicked: The Musical); Logan Huntzberger (Gilmore Girls); Rafael Solano (Jane the Virgin)

PEGGY: 

The Mediator:  Idealistic and empathetic, Mediators long for deep, soulful relationships, and they feel called to help others. But because this personality type makes up such a small portion of the population, Mediators may sometimes feel lonely or invisible, adrift in a world that doesn’t seem to appreciate the traits that make them unique.

The Baby of the Bunch: Being the youngest of your group typically comes with some perks and challenges. On one side you're probably the cutest, have a pass to act immature, people like taking care of you, and you can embrace your fun side, knowing that the elders are there to handle the serious stuff. And if there's anything you're naïve about, you have plenty of others to give you the realest unfiltered advice without the generational gap and detachment that your parents or the Old Master have. On the other end, sometimes people don't take you seriously. There you're kinda stuck because no matter how old you get, you'll always be "the baby" in their eyes.

Indifferent Beauty: A character who is attractive, aware of their effect on other people, but doesn't care or at least doesn't value their physical attractiveness over their other traits. Often, this character is a consummate professional who is well aware of the fact that they could use their "assets" to get what they want by other means, but feels that it would be unprofessional or beneath their dignity, and is instead focused on proving that they can compete purely on skill, often to the exclusion of romantic opportunities. While such characters are not averse to dressing in sexy outfits, they don't plan on relying on or even exploiting their sex appeal - but the camera will often do that for them. Other characters' indifference is not due to regarding relying on appearance to be beneath their dignity, but rather that they consider it to be unimportant.

Spoiled Sweet:  The Spoiled Sweet character is a naive, spoiled, rich or comfortably upper-class or upper-middle-class girl, who has everything they could ever want, but instead of being mean, she is as nice as can be to everyone. While still spoiled, slightly naive, perhaps shallow, maybe even a bit selfish at times, when it comes right down to it, she is a loyal friend and doesn't use her money or popularity as an excuse to treat everyone like garbage — though the trope Rich in Dollars, Poor in Sense is in play, especially since a particularly common sticking point is that characters of this type often believe their friends and other loved ones deserve to live just as well as they do.

Inspired by: Rory Gilmore (Gilmore Girls); Beth March (Little Women); Pike Trickfoot (Critical Role); Peggy Schuyler (Hamilton: An American Musical)

#sim: princess charlotte #sim: prince peter #sim: princess margaret

[sugurus-slxt]

Hiya! May I request a matchup (Ruby) for Jujutsu Kaisen for the follower event? I just stumbled onto your blog; congratulations on getting 100 followers! Let’s see…I’m 5’9” and 25 years old, I have shoulder length wavy light blonde hair (bleached), hazel eyes, pale-ish skin, and kind of an athletic body type (with a little bit of chub). I’m pretty quiet and tend to keep to myself, but if I’m around friends or anyone that I’m comfortable with, I can be pretty loud. I have been told that when I laugh, I can be heard from several rooms over. I don’t really take life too seriously, I mostly just go with the flow. I’m a pacifist; I don’t like to start arguments or fights and I HATE confrontation. However, if someone genuinely pisses me off, I will not hesitate to call them out. I get rather shaky and anxious when doing so though, as I’m not used to it. I’m also pretty open minded and I try to see things from everyone’s point of view.

I love to hike, go running, read, bake/cook, play video games (occasionally), and listen to music! I like EDM; drum & bass, electronica, trance, chill etc. I listen to other stuff besides that, if it’s pleasing to my ears, I will listen to it. I generally read stuff on tumblr, but if it’s a book I gravitate towards fiction! I’m a Libra, and my mbti type is ISFP (though some other tests I’ve taken have typed me as an ISTP, I’m in the middle with thinking and feeling). I like to stay active, as I get bored if I’m not. I mainly do trail running since I love being outside! I have an appreciation for art in any form, and I enjoy looking at what others have created. My favorite types of video games are RPGS, or anything I can get lost in. I also have a weakness for horror games, or anything horror related. I like to listen to horror podcasts, and research urban legends and creatures. I honestly would love to go urban exploring, but I don’t want to risk getting caught trespassing on private property! I also have a pretty big sweet tooth, I have practically zero willpower when it comes to desserts.

Ok, some of these are oddly specific, but some things I dislike are closed minded people, people getting in my personal space, public speaking (I would rather throw myself off a cliff), the colors orange and yellow, deviled eggs, and country music (sorry to the people who love it, ya’ll are still great, keep doing your thing 😆). I’ve had sensory issues ever since I was little (I was always over sensitive), and people getting close to me or touching me has always made me feel very uncomfortable/nervous. I struggle with showing affection, so I can be seen as rather detached or aloof at times. I’m not a very clingy or needy person; I prefer being independent. Also, I can get somewhat irritated if a person keeps offering to help me with something I can easily do on my own. As silly as this sounds, even if their intentions are pure, I feel as though they are saying that I’m incapable. Unsurprisingly, I have a lot of trouble asking for help. I prefer to work things out on my own. I prefer to stay in my comfort zone, and I rarely move out of it. However, deep down inside, I’m craving an adventure.

My style varies; I can go from looking like an up and coming professional runner to a troll that lives underneath a nearby bridge. I tend to favor a lot of darker colors, black is my number one go-to! I wear a lot of athletic leggings and sweatshirts/oversized t-shirts. Mostly because they’re comfy. I do love the cottage core aesthetic, though my clothing/room doesn’t reflect that. For who I seek, I suppose I’m looking for someone who is similar to me! Someone who I can feel comfortable with, and someone who isn’t super into PDA (or too clingy). I can be kind of goofy at times, so a sense of humor would be nice too. Some other things real quick, my dream vacation(s) would be going to Oregon or visiting the Netherlands! My dream jobs would be either a pastry chef (hell just put me in the kitchen in a bakery and let me bake), or working at a nursery/greenhouse. I like to work with my hands, so I would love either one!

I don’t exactly have any characters that I don’t want, I’m just curious as to who I will be matched with! Take your time and have a wonderful day 🙂

Personality Matchup

One 𝑅𝓊𝒷𝓎 coming right up for anon

A/Note: Hey thank you so very much for visiting THE VAULT. I hope you like your match up :) Sorry that I’ve taken so long, I’ve been preoccupied with school, and even though you said to take my time I think I took way too much. I hope you enjoy this. Love <3 ~ Sar-chan

I match you with...

Runner Up: Inumaki Toge

Here are some HCs:

Nanami definitely loves your loud side though he often comes off as reserved I think he really likes how from being super quiet outside or in a meeting to just saying what you’ve been holding back from saying. He loves hearing you talk and every time you shift from quiet to loud he lets out a soft chuckle and a smile he’ll hide away from you.

I think when Nanami is with you he’d find ways to crack jokes just to hear you laugh and he often has this running line, “I’d say I wish your laughs were all mine but I’m sure the neighbour heard it dear,” and finish off with, “I’m joking it’d be a crime not to share your laugh with the world. You and your laugh are far too beautiful to keep hidden.”

I think your personalities and natures would compliment each other nicely. I feel like both of you give a very “it” couple vibe.

Regardless of the suit Nanami wears, I think he dresses more comfortably in his free time. Larger more oversized clothes specifically sweaters and looser pants. He often lends you his sweater, he was a bit hesitant at first but seeing you in his clothes makes his lips quirk into a smile he won’t let you see.

I think Nanami enjoys reading for you especially if you lay against him (if you’re up for it) as both of you get settled for bed. If you fall asleep while he’s writing he’ll place a soft kiss on your forehead and whisper ‘I love you’ as he places the book to the side and repositions you to lay down.

If an argument ever happens to break out between you and Nanami he’ll try his best to bring it to more of a conversation he doesn’t like yelling and he doesn’t want to make you anxious.

He often accompanies you on hikes but almost always on runs because it’s also good for his physique and he gets to spend a bit of extra time with you.

Nanami favourite moments are when he gets to hear you talk about your day in the evening but he also appreciates the quiet moments where you both are just anywhere in the same room doing your own thing, he likes your presence and if the other sees something interesting and just points it out.

He isn’t clingy but Nanami gets touchy on mornings if he’s had a nightmare about you or he’s had an extremely bad day. He likes when you smiley hold him and run your fingers through his hair. He just likes knowing you're there.

I feel like you’d buy Nanami a nicer tie and though he loves you he just might refuse because he’s very accustomed to them and they are in a way essential.

Nanami isn’t the video game type but I think there might be a few select ones he’ll try out with you on the weekends and he just might get pretty addicted to one.

If you ask Nanami he might just take you to some of the places he’s exorcized curses from and as put together as he looks, he’s definitely trespassed. He’ll take you to some quite chilling places and he’ll be keeping an eye on you, however, if you do happen to get scared he will snicker just a bit. He’ll probably take you to a bakery or a coffee shop after to make up for it.

Nanami likes to watch you work in the kitchen if you’re baking up a storm he’ll probably be nearby reading a book but sometimes he’ll leave you to it because he knows you like pace as well.

EXTRA:

I hope you liked it, I apologize for taking such a long time.

THE VAULT IS NOW CLOSED, THANK YOU :)

#forward to opening it once again. #100 followers #100 followers event #🔒.SValut #The Vault.🔒 #haikyu #jujutsu kaisen #my hero academia #matchups #haikyuu matchups #haikyuu moodboard #bnha matchup #haikyuu drabbles #bnha drabble #bnha hcs #haikyuu hcs #jjk hcs #jjk smut #haikyuu smut #bnha smut #mha smut #haikyuu event #bnha event #jjk event #Sar.writes #nanami x reader #nanami kento #jjk fluff #jjk matchups #jjk nanami

[patricksmusicblog]

DMX Discography Overview

It's Dark and Hell is Hot(1998): DMX's distinctive growl, aggression, and arresting flow is fully formed and at its highest potency here on It's Dark and Hell Is Hot. It's Dark and Hell is Hot is, for the most part, a dark menacing and street-orientated album. Some tracks even lean toward a horror-core vibe, "X is Coming" being the bleakest and most unsettling of the bunch. Still, there are deeply emotive tracks like Let Me Fly, Look Through My Eyes, and Convo, where DMX gets introspective and lets us in on his struggles internally and morally/spiritually. There are also hits here, like the hard but catchy "Ruff Ryders Anthem" and the chill summer jam "How's It Going Down." The album's production is handled by PK and Dame Grease, with the album's calling card produced by Swizz Beatz. On a broader level, DMX was a presence in the rap game filled some of the space that had been vacant since Tupac Shakur was murdered, passionate, aggressive, and visceral only specifically representative of the east coast. He also was the answer to the shiny suit luxury rap era Puffy was dominating with in 1997. The album is pure classic and certainly a top-tier album of 1998. Rating: 9.0/10

Favorite Tracks: Rough Rydahs Anthem, How's It Going Down, Intro, Crime Story, Look Thru My Eyes, Let Me Fly

Flesh of my Flesh Blood of my Blood(1998): Flesh of My Flesh Blood of my Blood was released in late December of 1998 cemented DMX as the biggest rapper of that year and late 90s in general(Jay-Z notwithstanding). Aside from the Beastie Boys, the album had the highest first-week sales in a highly competitive year. As for the quality of this one, It's more of DMX's burst of rough and jagged rhymes. When he's not menacing(which is most of the time), he's as introspective and pain-stricken as he was on It's Dark, and Hell Is Hot. The apex of that would be "Slippin," an iconic song that is amongst the saddest tracks in hip-hop history as DMX open shares the trauma of his upbringing, being an addict and struggling to get out of it only to find its way back in it and everything that surrounds that in his past. It's really the fight in the song that makes the song his willingness not to quit and keep trying that makes the song "I got to get up, get back on my feet so I can tear sh*t up." What keeps the album from being the classic his debut was is that Swizz Beats takes the helm on most of the production here, which is hit or miss. DJ Shok, PK, and Dame Grease have a lot of the best beats here. They bring out that dark energy and tone that makes for X's best work. All in all, it's still a great project and amongst his best work. Rating: 8.0/10

Favorite Tracks: Slippin', Dogs For Life, Coming From, Black Out,

...And Then There Was X(1999): ...And Then There Was X picks up were DMX previously left out brutal, pummeling bone-crushing violence come is to be expected. "One More Road to Cross" and "The Professional"(one of the albums hardest tracks) are early highlights. Then there's the heartfelt but mature writing of "Here We Go Again," one X's best tracks, and "More 2 a Song," the ladder of which speaks to DMX's avoidance when it comes to rapping about the flashy materialistic side of things. While this is DMX's third full length album, it sounds more like a full-fledged sophomore effort to It's Dark and Hell is Hot while Flesh of my Flesh' plays more as an extension, too, or a very good b-side to its predecessor. This album contains some of DMX most well-known hits it including his biggest "Party Up"(Up in Here), a high energy track produced by Swizz Beatz that finds DMX being peak DMX, the chorus is both funny and little corny, there's a good touch of humor in DMX's bars on the track that give it charm. Another well-known X track is "What these B*tches Want" ft Sisqo, a silly and misogynistic track that has its charm and humor but is a bit lacking as far as the chorus in my opinion. "What's My Name?" however, is a banger that's one of DMX's better singles and meant to be played at a high volume out of your car. ...And Then There Was X is another strong album from DMX, and its more consistent than Flesh of my Flesh' less visceral and hungry than It's Dark. 8.5/10 

Favorite tracks: Party Up(Up in Here) Here We Go Again, What's My Name, The Professional, Angel, More 2 a Song

The Great Depression(2001): DMX's fourth straight #1 album finds him trying new things. There are the rap-rock efforts like Bloodline Efforts, and I'ma Bang which will always be hit or miss depending on the kind of music listener you are. To me, they're listenable but amongst the corniest of DMX records in his catalog. The worst is the silly/sad "She Was Da Bomb" where X writes a track about basically impregnating a woman and threatening to be a deadbeat. Yeah, the lows here are amongst the lowest of his career. Transversely, "Who We Be," a socially conscious record, is one of DMX's best tracks ever, and "We Right Here" has a great beat and is amongst the best on the album. Aside from the hits, you get the heartfelt "I'm Missing You" and the thoughtful "When I'm Nothing". There are also more R&B sounds here which I think is a nice change of pace. The Great Depression is solid; it's less aggressive and consistent than any of the three albums before it; some songs really work, and a few don't. I think it's worth listening to; there are essential DMX tracks here, but I wouldn't consider the LP quintessential as a whole. 7.5/10

Favorite Tracks: Who We Be, We Right Here, When I”m Nothing, I”m Missing You,

Grand Champ(2003): DMX's fifth straight #1 album is even more boom or bust than The Great Depression is. Where The Great Depression had weird moments and tracks that didn't quite work. Here X doesn't sound quite as passionate as he does early in his career. In an interview he did on 106 n Park around the time of the album's release, he'd spoken about not making what he should off his music, and I wonder how much that put a damper on writing and recording for this album. When it comes to what's here, the menacing brutality and growl is here, but it isn't as consistently visceral as it was early on. At 24 tracks, it's also a long, over-bloated album but even shorting it; I don't think the bulk of the music here holds up through time. "Get it On the Floor," has a terrible chorus, and most tracks between 13-23 are forgettable. As for the best of what's here "Where the Hood At" Produced by Swizz is a classic DMX track it's hard and has a great beat and hook. "Dogs Out" Which features Kanye on production. Then you have "We're Back" ft Eve and Jadakiss, another highlight and features pretty good verses from all three, but I believe Jada had the best performance. The international version of the album features the track "X Gon Give It To Ya" another very good single from X. This is an interesting listen, and depending how die-hard an X fan you are you may still enjoy this. I think there are tracks worth salvaging, but it isn't an essential listen. 6.5/10

Favorite Tracks: Dogs Out, Where The Hood At, X Gon Give it to Ya

The Year of the Dog(2006):This is the point where the bottom really fell out on DMX's music. The highs here aren't amongst the highest of X's career, and the lows are certainly amongst the lowest—tons of generic and lackluster production, mediocre choruses. A weird rap/rock crossover. DMX's tenacity isn't as urgent or visceral, and a lot of what's here (tracks 2-10) sounds, sadly, like a caricature of himself(with "It's personal" as the exception). The best tracks on the album are sneak in at the end where you find songs like "Blown Away" and "Goodbye"; those are the most soul-bearing tracks on the album. As a whole, it's a below-average album that, aside from a few moments, The down turn reflected itself culturally and sells wise it was his first album not to go #1 and only to go gold, and by the mid 00s DMX wasn’t in most conversations when comes to being amongst the best . 4.0/10

Favorite Tracks: It’s Personal, Blown Away, Goodbye, Life Be My Song

Undisputed(2012): Undisputed was a well-intentioned, admirable comeback album for DMX.  There are some solid moments here "Cold World" Speaks on what he perceives as the rap game getting weak.  "I'm back" is one of the better tracks on the album. You can hear the pain coming through on "Have You Eva."  I like "Y'all Don't Really Know" because it comes close to some of his early work. Still, it just isn't enough; there are quite a few missteps on this album, whether it'd be the awful "Sucker for Love" or "I Get Scared" X sounds weaker vocally, and the production is lacking. There's some charm to "I Don't Dance" with MGK but it's somewhat awkward and not among his strongest singles.  It's better than Year Of The Dog but still far from the level of X's heyday.  5.5/10

Favorite Tracks: I‘m Back, Have You Eva, Ya’ll Don’t Really Know

DMX is an undeniable legend and quintessential to late 90s-early 00s hip-hop. His music and voice, and passion transcends its era and is easily felt now. His apex from 98-00' is highly recommended. Past that, it's a lot more hit and miss, but both the Great Depression and Grand Champ have some gems worth grabbing. Past that, it's even spottier but given X's internal struggles it was great we were even able to get those LPs. Fortunately, DMX seemed to be doing well and had finished an album before passing away, so I'm eager to hear what he'd been working on.

#DMX #discography #Rap #Hip-Hop #Music #Discography Overview #Late 90s #Early 2000s

[gayathreya]

an ode to maara/bommi

[soorarai pottru spoilers]

so i’ve watched it and i LOOOVE it, easily in my top elite list of fav suriya films. there’re many things i love about it; maara’s persona and characterisation, his relationships with the people around him, the suffocating elitist atmosphere of the film, the music, visuals,

but my mind keeps coming back to this specific relationship and it’s my fav aspect of the movie. one that i’m not alone in echoing cos i’ve seen maaany people say likewise. i’d like to gush about them.

maara and bommi were just.. SOOO GOOD together???? i have a very small list of suriya romances i actually care about onscreen and this easily skyrocketed up. cos most of the time, it’s either i really like the heroine but the romance in the film isn’t that great/gets little scope (e.g. ngk, where i like sai pallavi but come on their marriage was trash cos ngk is a trash cheating and manipulative fuckboi, or anushka in singam, which is fine i guess but the third film soured me on all the characters), or it’s a case of me really loving the romance itself but i’m not having loads of feelings about whoever is paired up with him (e.g. ayutha ezhuthu, which is an all time favourite suriya romance highlight on screen and it was fantastic, but esha deol’s character was not at all a standout character on her own even if i enjoyed watching them together).

so there’re many a times the problem for me where either the romance doesn’t work, or the woman opposite him is not fleshed out enough. in comes soorarai pottru and i was DELIGHTED with their individual characterisations and their relationship dynamic cos finally here u have a romance depicted on screen where they’re both essentially treated as equals by the narrative even if the story is naturally centred on maara completely because the film is about him.

bommi is her own person and it’s established immediately the moment they meet, which is the exact reason why maara falls for her in the first place despite her roasting him all the time and after that too. she stands on her own, doesn’t need ~a man~ to help elevate her or achieve what she sets out to do. and she does all this without the help of the protagonist. her character is not dependent on maara in the slightest. she’s easily more successful than maara for the entire film until the end, and her personality isn’t overshadowed by her husband cos she pretty much has her own shit to run and holds her own opposite him. even when maara initially gets his dream off the ground, bommi isn’t relegated to a lower bar within the context of the film where her only role is to support him, but she works at expanding her own business/franchise and meets maara as a respectable equal in his venture as a food vendor, which even maara is surprised by but pleased about. she outright meets him in their shared field of interests and expertise, and maara never once treats her any less or jokes about her proposal.

and of course whenever they came together..... i gotta say, it was pretty hot lol. their emotional scenes had A LOT of weight. their physical scenes were certainly sexy and hot i could def watch them kick it up a notch. i don’t really find suriya has much chemistry with many of the heroines he’s paired up with but somehow he seemed comfortable with aparna enough to do loads of sexy staring, gazing, looking sexual, etc, and actually looked good playing a character who was not just in love with his wife, but who also was physically attracted to her, which is what completely sells the relationship and makes it look organic on screen. it helped that the visuals/lyrics depict him as more submissive in their love too (i thought both veyyon silli and kaattu payale had pretty obvious more sub vibes on behalf of the man, or the more serious bit where he comes back home exhausted and seeks comfort), it really works very well. i adored their scenes and it always works for me when suriya plays more subby characters in his romance because....... because. interests. *coughs* he is Good Boi (tm). he is Sub (tm). plus the physicality of maara/bommi shown is not only sexual, but they had softer moments too which made it all the more endearing. more than once, maara hugs her for solace or when he’s distressed and it’s very sweet and gentle, or the little quick scenes where he puts his hand on bommi’s head. those were all very cute moments and stays with u even though it’s short. it was a lovely sight to see in films where your usual hero/heroine barely even touch each other, or when they do, have no vibes or connect at all, while the physicality here is both sexual and also paired with emotional influence.

the only thing i really had an issue with is the lack of a proper resolution or dialogue after their big fight. i know some people have pointed out the fight itself was not something they liked because he hit her, but i didn’t have an problem with that tbh. it was a natural progression of maara’s character as he was steadily failing repeatedly, getting steadily angrier as he struggled to control it, and thinking she called him a loser was the snap. it worked quite well imo because the narrative also establishes pretty fast he regrets what he did and he immediately goes to look for her, finds her gone, and spends the next how many hours searching everywhere while looking very upset. so i don’t view it as a glorification or justification of his action since we are shown he knows he fucked up. but that being said, it was never mouthed explicitly. i felt their reunion was too quick and too easy and i would’ve liked an explicit line from bommi calling him out on that, and maara explicitly apologising for it and saying openly he messed up big time with her. that was the only part about the relationship i was disappointed by and i wish it was worked in better cos i don’t require a whole conversation or exposition dump, but even a few extra lines would have been nice in the scene he finds her again and runs to once again seek wordless comfort and apology.

>>> ETA: HE DOES NOT HIT HER. i’m adding this lil para here cos i’m uncomf with how many notes this post got spreading this misinfo i wrote myself which i’m wrong about. my first watch i did not catch it and thought nothing of it, but then i saw people saying he did and was talking about it and when i rewatched it, i agreed. but now, after multiple watches, i want to note i’m back to my initial instinct, which is that he doesn’t. maara pushes her by her chin/throat, and he then smacks the plate of food bommi has hard. it’s obvious when u pay attention to the speed and angle the plate flies off to the left, as well as the sound of the metal clang. the only explanation is maara slapping that away and not bommi flinging it. i do urge people to not continue spreading it without fact checking at least, considering sudha in an interview herself had a convo with someone and she agreed with the use of the word ‘’restrained’’ in how maara reacted during the fight, which wouldn’t make sense if he outright slapped her. this also makes it in character for bommi, who doesn’t seem to be the type of person in the narrative who would have just taken that with no fall out after.

SO YEAH despite this one thing, i really, reeeeally loved this relationship and romance and individual characterisations that had their own journey and arc but also were tied down to the same path that they don’t drift away within the frame of their movie and their own goals. this was a married couple shown right with individual personalities and ambitions, and not a woman who was fused to the hero of the movie and only there to meet the commercial requirement of a love track in a film. plus of course uhhh they were really hot together. i’ve mentioned that, right.

cos they were hot

and they should have made out for me

and i would have liked to witness more of them being any kind of physical since suriya and aparna were really nice to look at. O_O

#soorarai pottru #suriya #aparna balamurali #kollywood #tamil cinema #mine* #commentary #my kindgom for suriya to do more romances like in films where he's comfortable and having a good time #and not some awkward bullshit i'm forced to sit through of heterosexuals who have no chemistry or nothing in common

[pumpkinpaix]

Hello! Sorry if this is a silly question, but I was wondering in the world of cultivation, do you think it's possible to cultivate with like a fan for instance? Cause like they use swords/sabers but then also musical instruments and Zidian. And as more Nie Huaisang's character is revealed, the more I keep thinking eventually he'd develop that into his preferred method of cultivation? Because it's the thing he always keeps on his person, instead of his saber. He's smart enough and (1/2)

(2/2) and Nie Huaisang would want to keep his sect going strong right? After his nature is revealed, I feel like he’d actually fall into his role really well. But he wouldn’t want to follow his father/brother into a qi deviation so maybe he develops a new way forward for their clan that results in less violent deaths and doesn’t harm their temperament either? Also there’s the problem of keeping the sabers satisfied even after the death of their owner. Sorry for rambling, it’s just a thought. 😊        

AHAHAHA oh anon i laughed when i read this because (spoilers) this is pretty much exactly what I’ve been thinking about re: nhs post-canon. don’t apologize for rambling!!

I definitely vibe with the idea that he would try to innovate his sect’s cultivation techniques so the line of tragedies would end with him. I think there was an interview with mxtx somewhere where she said that he would be a good sect leader and chief cultivator, and I think that after all that he experienced, his goals would basically be exactly what you said:

change the way his sect cultivates so that no one in his sect is ever fated to die of a qi deviation again–even if this means breaking with ancestral tradition, so be it

keep his sect strong and honorable and safe (and happy?)

cultivate just enough so that he has the power and ability necessary to do so

Nie Huaisang is a character that I’ve struggled with liking (which i could write a whole essay on but like it basically comes down to: i have a soft spot for all the characters he hurt LMAO), but he’s starting to grow on me as time goes on. I think he’s really interesting from a thematic standpoint, re: his continued insistence that he just isn’t suited for cultivation, that he’s never going to be good at the sabre, that no matter how much he’s forced you can’t change his nature–like, idk.

So much of mdzs is about breaking away from the toxic choices, cycles and prejudices of previous generations/your ancestors, and I think nhs’s character would be a really cool place to explore that post-canon, especially in comparison to how all the other characters move forward. He’s undeniably talented and intelligent, but those talents lie not in cultivation, but in other subjects, namely art, culture etc. wwx remarks on his good eye and taste for such things at some point, I’m pretty sure. After his brother dies and the threat posed by jgy is eliminated, I like to think that he would take the time to pursue the things he really loves and find some kind of self-actualization not restricted by his brother’s well-meaning, but ultimately unhelpful insistence that he follow tradition.

about cultivating with a fan–LMAO i am in fact planning on writing this, but I haven’t gotten super far with it yet because i’m…. actually very unfamiliar with how xianxia worlds work in general. mdzs is the first xianxia media i’ve consumed, and honestly, its cultivation worldbuilding is….. like honestly? almost nonexistent HAHA. which I guess means there’s more freedom to play! some scattered thoughts:

you can cultivate through music, so why not other arts, eg: dance, theatrical performance, etc.

fan dance exists! also the use of fans as props in kunqu and peking opera, (here’s an example of a fan in a kunqu performance–admittedly, I’m not very knowledgeable about it, so tbh don’t know if it’s good or average or anything ahaha. there’s another example here of the same work, but the filming is… shaky) the idea of specific movements being shorthand for meanings etc. and i think it would be really cool to build up a cultivation style around using wrist/hand motions as components for–I don’t want to call them spells lmao bc that’s the wrong word, but like???? you know, like how wwx cultivates through talismanic inscription etc. using the motions as building blocks for bigger actions

weaponized fans DO exist, though most information you can find on them is Japanese in origin–there’s some scattered kernels of anecdotes of chinese fan weapons, but I’ll have to do more digging. though honestly, mdzs has canonical cultural exchange with japan (at least the Lans did) and i feel like nhs would be very excited to trade crafts, information, etc. with foreign cultures given his own interest in the arts

so uh, yeah!! basically, same hat anon, and here’s a big pile of my own ramblings right back atcha

#mdzs #the untamed #mdzs meta #nie huaisang #meta #cyan writes #mymeta #sort of?? #mine #idk what is tagging #thanks for the ask anon!!! #Anonymous #asks and replies #(this is so disorganized rip my brain is mush and i don't have the energy to put these words into coherent structures im sorry)

[amplesalty]

Christmas 2019: Day 1 - Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

A burning Christmas tree!

And the angel said unto them, fear not for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day another marathon of Christmas related movies and TV specials. As is tradition, we start by saying what a tradition it is to start the month with a horror. As we shall come to see, a not as serious Christmas Horror movie this time. Well, having said that, Silent Night Deadly Night is pretty silly at times. My horror tastes have a tendency to lean towards the silly anyway and I did do all 31 days this year so there’s perhaps less of a need to make up for lost time by extending it over in Christmas. Look, stop going on about it, it’s Anna and the Apocalypse.

It makes for a fairly obvious choice to open proceedings, it’s a Christmas zombie movie. What more do you want? Well, how about a musical? Yeah, this is like Nativity crossed with Shaun of the Dead. Or more appropriately, High School Musical crossed with Shaun of the Dead. Or, as the marketing goes with, La La Land crossed with Shaun of the Dead. I think that movie is cursed to be forever associated with anything vaguely zombie related and comedic. It’s like the new ‘It’s Die Hard but…’

Anyway, we start with the eponymous Anna on her way to school with her bestie, John, and her dad who is the janitor at the school. This is meant to be a British film, I think you’ll find it’s caretaker, lousy Americanisation. I think this is more specifically Scottish made actually, whole bunch of English people around mind you but there’s a few Scots mixed in as well. I feel like there was a lot of Scottish made kids shows when I was growing up, I dunno if they just get good investment up there or if it’s like a tax or lottery thing or something?

There’s a total Michelle Keegan thing going on with the girl who plays Anna, not a bad thing since she is one of the most desirable women in the world.

The real star of the show here though is Paul Kaye as Mr Savage, a jobsworth assistant headmaster who we first meet warning off one of the students, Steph, who is running a piece on the school blog about the local homeless problem. Mr Savage points out that the local council set their budgets so it’s probably best if she drops the whole thing. When she threatens to go over his head to the more soft touch headmaster, we learn that he’s retiring next month and Mr Savage is taking over and things are going to be a lot different around here. Kaye is hamming it up a bit as Savage but in a more reserved way? He pretty much delivers every line in this very hushed but stern tone, it’s like he’s a villain in a cheap action film but he’s really just a teacher at a small school in Scotland.

We very quickly get our opening number ‘Break Away’, dealing with the problems that Anna, Steph and John are dealing with. Anna wants to get out of this town and see the world, John has an unrequited love for Anna and Steph feels abandoned by her parents who are on the other side of the world. It’s a powerful song that talks about wanting to be more and the girl playing Steph is really giving it socks and emoting. I don’t think they’re dubbing their voices or anything so fair play to her. They even work in some lyircs that tie into the whole zombie thing; “As I wake half dead in this same old bed at the dawn of another day”. It does catch you off guard though when you’re not expecting a musical.

This would work well as one of those deceptive genre bending movies you could trick someone into watching and be like ‘Boom, zombies!’ halfway through. At the very start there’s a radio piece that kinda spells it out before it’s cut off midsentence that talks about a supposed super flu that has now being discovered to cause ‘reanima-‘. But there’s little nods here and there otherwise that make it sort of cute like those lyrics or people theatrically clawing at a wall like a zombie.

The songs in the Christmas show don’t quite match up. They’ve probably got that whole non-demoninational thing to adhere to where they can’t sing about Jesus so instead they’ve got two break dancing penguins dancing to a fish rap. Yes, fish rap. “My favourite dish is fish, mother flipper, and I eat it for the hell of it!”

Then there’s Lisa’s song which is basically an attempt to seduce Santa. Think ‘Santa Baby’ but a bit more explicit. Like, she invites Santa over to ‘empty his sack’ at one point, that sort of thing. Then you have a bunch of backing dancers who are all topless and wearing short shorts. This is a high school production, right? Seems a bit risqué. Mr Savage seems to agree so too, though at first it just cuts to him saying ‘Filthy....salacious...’ whilst pulling these funny faces, almost like he’s getting some illicit thrill from all this. Thankfully he ends that thought with ‘and it must be stopped!’ before storming off.

Going back to the zombie movie in disguise thought, when we finally do get the zombies, the movie still plays dumb to the whole thing by having Anna and John walking to school whilst performing a musical number (Turning My Life Around) where they say they’re ‘miles away’ whilst being totally oblivious to the carnage unfolding behind them. This rather disturbingly includes a zombie eating the contents of a pram. It’s an amusing scene, the juxtaposition of this bright, upbeat song and these two cheery characters with no knowledge of all the death and destruction behind them. The song has a similar message to ‘Break Away’ but looked at from a slightly different perspective, much more optomistic and poppy.

Mr Savage’s breakout moment comes when everyone gets trapped in the school after the outbreak and they hear of evacuation plans that call for them to stay put and await the arrival of the army. The headmaster seems to be out of the picture and he revels in taking charge. But, when days past with no contact, everyone wants to head out and Savage has a bit of a run in with Anna’s Dad. Savage snaps before sulking off in a corner muttering that this is his school now, hearing zombies clattering at the door and seemingly having a ‘lightbulb above the head’ moment. I’ve made comparisons before to Dead Rising and how the proper movies based on it missed the ‘psycho’ characters. This right here is a psycho character, that sense of a rather mundane character being pushed over the edge in this apocalyptic situation. I’m thinking specifically here of the supermarket worker in the first game who thinks you’re looting and tries to run you down with his adapted trolley that has a bunch of pointy things stuck on it whilst screaming ‘THIS IS MY STOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!’.

Speaking of looting, Anna’s dickbag ex shows up to help her and her friends out of a jam with a trolley full of toys he’s ‘found’. Him and his friends arm themselves to take out a nearby hoard but I feel like only two of them are actually trying. He has his baseball bat and another guy puts knives in his hands like they’re Wolverine claws. I don’t know how useful knives are going to be, especially wielded like that, but at least he’s making a better effort than the other two who have a video game controller used like a mace and the last guy who has two watermelons. Okay, so we see a vaguely similar situation to this earlier in the movie in a bowling alley where someone squishes a zombies head in between two bowling balls so maybe that’s what this guy was thinking? Well, A) I don’t think that’s going to work with watermelons and 2) say it does, that’s only going to work once with watermelons because they’re going to explode. What’s your secondary plan once they’re done with? At least the guy with the bat can keep on swinging it.

This is the lead in to the ex’s song ‘Soldier at War’ which is really good as well. Between the delivery of the song and the way it’s acted physically, there’s this kind of sultry, seductive thing going on? Apparently Rocky Horror Picture show was an inspiration for this movie and I definitely get a Dr. Frank-N-Furter vibe from this.

They all eventually fight their way back to the school only to find Savage is just calmly eating his Christmas dinner. He points them in the direction of their parents, only to lock them in a room full of zombies. He even gets a villain song as they all struggle to survive, basically summarising that for too long he’s been held down but now it’s his time. There’s a fast paced energy to the song and, at the risk of making another Shaun of the Dead comparison, having it cut to shots of the kids fighting off the horde and the fact that it’s called ‘Nothing’s Gonna Stop Me Now’ makes me wonder if this wasn’t a conscious nod to the big climax at The Winchester.

Things come to a head when Anna tries to track down her Dad, only to find him tied up with Christmas lights on the stage with Mr Savage waiting for some sort of final showdown. I say showdown, it’s more a duet with Anna fighting off zombies and Mr Savage prancing about on stage trying on top hats and wrapping himself in tinsel like they’re cheap feather boas and he’s a fifty pence tart. There is a bit of fisticuffs between Mr Savage and Anna’s Dad in the end though and there’s even a call back to a moment from the start of the movie to serve as the final blow which is neat.

I was a little taken aback upon the revelation that this was a musical but it turned out to be really good fun. Just a really cool mix of genres with some good songs that are complimented at times with on screen theatrics. For the zombie portion of it, there’s some creative kills in one portion of the movie in the bowling alley but otherwise it resorts to blunt force trauma in order to ‘destroy the brain’. But the kills can be suitably over the top with a lot of blood splatter so that all adds to the cheese factor it’s got going on. It’s a suitable addition to the Christmas Horror or even just comedy-horror sub genres.

#Christmas 2019 #Anna and the Apocalypse

[strangelyokay]

Everything's Fine, Slumps happen, Here's what to do.

Sometimes slumps happen, everything is moving, everything is not exactly going right, but also not bad, but everything still sucks. The days are quick, long, everything is just not worth doing, what’s the point, and if there is a point, the point is too far away to actually matter at the moment. Everyone has slumps, depression periods, everything sucks kind of vibes, and getting out of them can be a pain in the butt.

I’ve noticed a week ago that I was suffering from this annoying occurrence, I’m not doing much, but somehow, I can’t feel relax and refresh, instead, this super “ugh” mood is hanging over my head. However, this isn’t my first time in a slump, and I have mastered a couple of tips for anybody in school who has realized that they have too much time on their hands and are losing it or life just sucks. Don’t get me wrong, classes are hard and the homework piles on, but I’ve noticed that sometimes depression periods occur, all on their own and usually the school stuff suffers. Sometimes these periods occur while maintaining a job and school, that’s a nightmare, it's like the day ends too quickly and nothing productive seems to ever get done, all you want is the break time, the “me” time.

So, based on my experience alone, I have a list that might help indicate that you are in a slump. These are my personal tells, everyone is different, but I’m sure that someone else has had these specifically.

Here are some signs that you might be in a slump:

You overdo it on sleep, you stay up all night, then sleep all day, constantly.

So personally, I sleep late, I won’t say I have insomnia, because I know I can sleep, I just choose not to. Sleeping will get me closer to waking up and starting my stressful day, so I stay up, it's like running away. Also, if I have a lot to do, and I feel like I don’t have enough time for myself, I’ll stay up because I feel less guilty like I’m not wasting time doing things I actually want to do.

You eat once a day. I mean you eat properly one meal and then snack all day.

Honestly, if I have the money, I’ll buy nothing else but fast-food, I won’t cook. I’ll overeat in one sitting then have snacks for the rest of the day. If I don’t have money for quick junk food, I’ll cook one meal, and again snacks, sometimes I’ll make a late-night sandwich if snacks aren’t filling me up. Personally, the snacks are always sweet, and bread-like.

You have seen too much T.V.

I usually watch too much tv, it gets to the point where I start seeing things that I would never consider, just because I can’t find anything, I haven’t seen. I get so sick of it that I can feel my mind is melting and I start to think that if life is worth living, it can’t be to do this. I’m usually broke, and TV is free, and it’s too much work to do anything else. When you do try to do anything else, you feel like it’s too uncomfortable, and it was such a stretch to come up with something else to do that you just don’t want to do anything else.

You clean or maybe you don’t, but when you do clean, not often enough to keep the “house” tidy.

Suddenly your home is a pigpen, and you hate it, but its overwhelming to actually start picking things up. I feel great when my home is clean, it helps me feel on top of things, however in these slumps, I clean, but it gets dirtier.

You hate how you look, but working out seems pointless, you’ll quit anyway and then you’ll feel worst.

So, this one might be specific to me, but most of the time if I am in these slumps, I don’t feel great about myself. I focus too much on appearance and it really hits my self-esteem. I try to work out but feel so disheartened, even if the exercise made me feel great, I just “know” I’ll quit and find myself feeling silly for even trying or like a failure.

Here’s the worst about the whole thing, it’s a f****** cycle, everything connects and it’s impossible to actually get off the suck train, without actually constantly trying. If you stay up all night and then wake up at 3:00 pm you’re not really thinking about eating property, so you eat one meal, because you’re starving and then snack all day. You just woke up, you watch tv, its 5 pm and the day is gone, you don’t clean, or exercise by default, because it’s too late. When you decide to actually do better, you notice it’s hard to sleep early, you’re not tired, and since you have nowhere to be, you don’t find the urgency.  It's honestly annoying because you want to do better, but its SOOO hard and there’s absolutely no motivation. When there is urgency it's even worse, you start feeling the guilt.

So, I wouldn’t just talk about the terrible side-effects of a slump, without offering some sort of solutions. I will remind the reader that getting out of a slump is way harder, I mean it is so annoyingly more difficult, that it makes you not want to do it. That is ignoring the fact that in these slumps you already aren’t motivated to do anything.

Here are some solutions:

Go for a walk, preferably with a friend, but by yourself with music works well too.

So, this is the first one for a major reason, it sounds like the dumbest, but trust me it works. The reason is that in a slump you get sad, depress even. Someone told me once that a walk a day gives you the same effects as taking depression medication. Plus, the walk helps, you breathe in air, it forces you to actually think, instead of numbing yourself, and the scenery is different. I will say this one is just annoying to start though, especially if you become a hermit in the midst of the slump.

Exercise.

Yeah, this one is generic and in sucks, but there is a reason for it. Working out makes you tired, and it relaxes you, it honestly makes you feel good about yourself. You don’t have to be a pro on this, even 30 minutes helps, just do it more than once a week.

Clean one section at a time.

Even if the house is a mess, clean five dishes, then stop or maybe do one load of laundry, do small amounts, make it possible. It pushes you to progress, and eventually, doing all the dishes is possible.  You can use this method to finish your homework.

Wake up earlier than usual.

This one can be hard, hopefully exercising can get you tired enough to start sleeping earlier, but the waking up is the main goal. Like with the cleaning, you don’t have to be extreme, if you’re waking up at 3:00 PM, try 11:00 AM, then keep going. You will wake up less tried, less in a bad mood, and more likely to feel like a better person if you’re rested and alive in the morning (aim for 8 hours).

Find anything else to do besides T.V.

Read, paint, do puzzles, do anything that isn’t watching the screen, its easy to fall into a trap of technology, and it is numbing. You don’t want to keep numbing yourself with tv, it really makes you stay addicted to the cycle. If it’s a relaxing pass time, sure, but if you’re watching, just to watch, to not think, then do something else.

Basically…

It's not easy to actually get out of the everything sucks period, you’re basically changing your mentality, and that is the hardest to do. You have to stay positive, even when you’re not, and when you’re by yourself it's daunting and it seems impossible. However, even though it’s easier with someone’s help, sometimes they hinder the change and you make them your crutch. This change can be tricky, you have to be aware, but don’t pressure yourself, its hard already without making yourself feel like a failure.

As I said, I am basing all of this on my experience alone, so I’m not an expert, sometimes the slump has no rules, and self-help isn’t actually curing anything. Obviously, at that point go see someone professionally, it doesn’t make you weak. If you think it does, don’t tell anyone, just make sure to go anyway, try something once especially if what you were doing wasn’t helping.

Stay positive, acknowledge the small accomplishments and tell everyone to f*** off if they want to judge, everyone struggles at one point, just keep moving. You can do it, and if no one else does I believe in you.

Here are some links to articles on the benefits of exercising:

Exercise is an all-natural treatment to fight depression  

Running From the Pain

Comment Below!

#first try #first post #first blog #slump #alittledown #notdepressbutsad #everything sucks #everything suuuuuuucks #everythingisokay #youcandoit #dontstress #don't worry #stepbystep #everyonestruggles #staypositive #self help #steven universe #friends #notalone #keepgoing #youcan #i believe in you #i can do this

[orionsangel86]

13x12 - Episode Review - What is Fifth Base Anyway?

So the people at Google must have been confused when they discovered the number of searches for “fifth base” drastically went up overnight… Steve Yokey you cheeky bugger I love you! (Show of hands everyone who did this? Go on, admit it!)

This episode was really good. One of the stronger ones of an already very strong bunch as season 13 continues to exceed in quality. It had jokes, it had deep emotional revelations, it had Cas once again using his SuperPower of sassing the fuck out of things to get what he wants. Yeah it was pretty awesome! So let’s delve into the main points.

The Red Herring Love Spell

We were all expecting this to be an episode similar to 12x11 based on how it was marketed to us. Dean is under a love spell! It’s up to Sam and Rowena to save him! That seemed to be the gist of the PR team’s focus. As ever, PR is not Showrunning and this turned out to be one giant red herring.

The love spell lasted all of five minutes. So why bother? WHY was a love spell even PART of this plot?! Seriously? Someone tell me how this episode couldn’t have followed the EXACT same narrative with the sisters using some other spell to force people to do things for them? The fact is, that love spell was pointless for the plot but excellent for getting people thinking about LOVE. Specifically, Dean Winchester and LOVE, or at least, what love should be, and what it most definitely is not.

Aside from the fact that the clunky music whenever the love spell was invoked made me cringe, I thoroughly enjoyed how innocent it all seemed. Dean got to play Prince Charming to the princess and provide her with a gift of her choosing. I think it says something about Dean that the love spell encouraged this fairy tale vibe specifically for him, when for Dale at the start it was all about him playing protector and hero through violence and theft. I just thought it was an interesting statement about Dean’s wishes and desires compared to other men. Though I gotta admit, the gift giving, goofiness and oh I dunno, protecting his lover from a gun? It all seemed rather familiar to me… Hmmm…

I mean who else has Dean previously entrusted with powerful one off weapons?

Who else has Dean had to recently protect from a pointed gun much to his own horror rather than the recipient who is unlikely to be harmed by a regular gun anyway?

Who else makes Dean goofy and pull these silly delighted faces?

*looks into the camera like on the Office*

Yeah, but see these are not really examples of true love, even though they are all things done with Cas. What IS true love in season 13 is something that subtextually KEEPs getting referred to in EVERY EPISODE. That in 13x01 – 13x05 Dean was deeply lost in grief. Deeply mourning over the loss of Cas – someone who he is truly in love with. Love makes you do crazy things? Yeah, and as Billy said in 13x05 (Yokey’s last episode FYI) Dean wanted to die. Cas’s death had brought him to that level. The fact that now it is SAM who is feeling low, feeling powerless because of the loss of Mary and Jack, and Dean is able to remain focussed and have HOPE that they will save them, continues to be astonishingly hypocritical of Dean given where he was when Cas was dead. But it does keep drawing our attention to that fact, and for that I love it.

Bonus point for “I think you may be right, I think its time we go ahead and call Cas…” … “I’m in love” because Yokey could have written Sam saying ANYTHING at that point but he chose to remind the audience about Cas at that exact moment… as Dean announces he is in love, because the two are connected (and because it then wouldn’t be that much of a stretch to assume that Sam’s initial reaction is “Oh… so you finally admit it?”)

(FYI this crappy gif is my own. Don’t judge. It’s the first I’ve ever made.)

Sam’s mild amusement here just fits the “oh so you finally admit it? We can call Cas and start the wedding preparations?” interpretation and NO ONE can stop me seeing it that way! :D

Bonus Point two for the mentions of “Soulmates” (which relate to Angels in the show) and “Cosmic” (which again, tends to relate to angels and Cas).

Bonus point three that this is an episodes marketed as Dean being in love! LOOK AT ALL THIS HETEROSEXUALITY! It seems to scream at our general audiences, and yet, as always in SPN, if the GA are seeking heterosexuality, they are to be disappointed. They got a 5 minute mini love spell plot and Dean once again is without even a hint of an actual true female romantic partner. Nope, sorry heteros seeking a woman for Dean. You won’t find that here!

Basically, it’s not too much of a stretch to interpret this entire love spell mini plot as exposition for the TRUTH regarding Dean and “true love”. Because we all know it. It’s right there in the subtext. I just wish they’d make it text already.

Review continues under the cut as per usual...

Addressing Long unspoken Trauma – FINALLY

Officially my favourite part of the episode (unofficially my second fave part after “fifth base”), the conversations between Sam and Rowena about their trauma at the hands of Lucifer had me welling up. This is the first time in SPN history that Sam has actually opened up to ANYONE about his Lucifer trauma. Read that again. Be amazed that it has taken this long. Send Dabb and Yokey a fruit basket for this.

One thing season 13 has been excellent at doing, is making things textual that were previously only implied. This seems to be a continued trend following on from the reveal in 12x22 that Dean is effectively Sam’s parent (A fact meta writers have been talking about for YEARS.)

I don’t really have much to say about it actually, because it’s all just THERE in the text. It has left me kind of speechless.

SAM: Its not gonna change anything, you’re still gonna feel helpless. What Lucifer did to you…

ROWENA: I told you I don’t… before he crushed my skull, Lucifer showed me his face. His true face. I’m scared Sam. All the time.

SAM: I’ve seen it too. What he really looks like behind… behind whatever vessel… yeah it still keeps me up at night.

ROWENA: How do you deal with it?

SAM: I guess I don’t deal with it, not really. I mean I…Ive pushed it down, and the world kept almost ending and so I keep pushing it down and I dunno… I don’t really talk about it, not even with Dean, I mean I could… he would listen but, it’s not something I really know how to share.

…..

SAM: Even if you do get the book, and even if you get your power back. It won’t matter. You won’t ever be able to change what happened, you won’t be able to change how helpless you felt, or how helpless you feel. You’re still gonna get scared. That feeling, that feeling never goes away.

ROWENA: Never?

SAM: Never.

…

Honestly it’s perfect. Yokey has decided that enough is enough. We need to discuss this. We need to talk about the fact that our main characters have a shit load of trauma. It’s about GODDAMN TIME.

(x)

I just want to scream about the shots for a second though because god bless Amanda Tapping for being so excellent at capturing emotions. I am starting to think she is one of the best directors for it. The intimate long close ups on the actors faces as they open about this stuff, it just works. The soft music in the back ground pulls no focus away from the gravity of Sam’s words. It’s intense, and harrowing and kudos to Jared here because I think he must have been ITCHING for a moment like this for Sam for YEARS (and for god sake someone ask him about this scene at a con instead of more bloody prank questions PLEASE.)

I also love that it’s Rowena who Sam opens up to about this stuff, because she has that in common with him. I know that it can be argued that Cas has also experienced trauma at the hands of Lucifer, but since Cas is an angel it’s not the same. I doubt Lucifer’s true face would affect Cas, since Cas is already an angel with the ability to see and cope with seeing things that human minds struggle to comprehend.

I think Rowena and Sam is our new Dean and Crowley. They are enemies, but they have a mutual respect for one another and I see this as a really good thing both for Sam and Rowena. Because Crowley was changed thanks to his bond with Dean (love for Dean), he was able to find redemption in that. Rowena could also now find redemption, especially considering her newly powered up status. For Sam I think it was a smart choice to give Rowena the pages at the end. It wasn’t just about the bond they formed over shared trauma, it was Sam knowing that Rowena is right, that Lucifer will always find a way back, and Sam knows that eventually he will have to face him again, and he needs all the help and power he can get, so a powered up Rowena is a powerful ally to have against the creature that tortured and broke both their spirits.

Am I shipping them? No, not really. I still think Rowena is a villain. I never shipped Drowley, though I acknowledge it’s existence in the show as basically a hairsbreadth away from canon. (it’s technically just as close to canon if not more so than Destiel and strongly implied that they hooked up in various episodes). But if the show did go there with Sam and Rowena I wouldn’t mind it as such. I just don’t think it would be endgame. But sure, it could work for a while. I see them more like frenemies with mutual interests. Besides, I’m a Saileen girl all the way and will continue to hope for Eileen’s resurrection this season.

Narrative Mirrors – Witches and Winchesters

Ah narrative mirrors, don’t we love them? I especially love them when they highlight the Winchester family dynamics and just how screwed up they all are. Our witchy sisters fall extremely easily into this category. Jamie and Jenny or “J2” as I now plan to call them (I see what you did there Yokey). So J2 are motivated to do whatever it takes to bring back mum. Whatever it takes even though they are hardly competent witches and only seem to have one spell mastered – the love spell. The older sister uses her charm to encourage the victims to do whatever they wish for, whilst the younger sister is the smarter of the two, more skilled in magic (I wonder who they are supposed to represent?)

They have one purpose, and will stop at nothing until that purpose is fulfilled:

JAMIE: I’m sorry, I know I’m the big sister and I’m supposed to be the strong one or whatever.

JENNY: Yeah?

JAMIE: I just really miss her.

JENNY: I do too.

JAMIE: I know, and I like, really believe in us

JENNY: Jamie, I just want her back so bad

JAMIE: And we’re going to get her back, even if we have to cast every spell in this book and curse the souls of like a million people to make it happen.

Doesn’t this sound rather familiar? Like from 13x09:

DEAN: You were right, about mom you were right, this whole time we should have been looking for her

SAM: I was just hoping, I didn’t know. And anyway it doesn’t matter, now that we do know.

DEAN: We find her, no matter what it takes.

Which always made me kinda uncomfortable. There is a reason that Billy didn’t want Dean knowing their mum was still alive. Because Billy knows that the Winchesters would break the Universe to bring her back. “House of Cards” she called it. What’s the betting that thanks to Sam and Dean this “house of cards” is going to come tumbling down just as Billy predicted? Because I would put money on it.

At the end of the episode, we realise that Sam and Dean are in exactly the same place as J2. Jamie – the older sister, trying to support and reassure her younger sister, the one who “wants mom back so badly”. Jamie, unlike her sister, is totally focused on completing their task, whereas Jenny has her doubts. Just like Sam and Dean. We know that Dean is back to “We’ll figure it out” and “you and me” even though Sam is NOT on board with this, but like Jenny, Sam will follow Dean into a hornets nest if it means doing what they set out to do and save mum.

The girls mum came back wrong though, a zombie. When Mary was first resurrected she certainly wasn’t what the boys expected either, and now she is lost again, whose to say just what state she will be in when she is finally freed? Perhaps the message for the boys here is to actually let her go? As in, let go of the memory of Mary that they had sat on a pedestal (Dean in particular) and start to accept the woman their mother actually is, and let her do her thing, because otherwise it may kill them all.

And isn’t this moment just a perfect visual representation of the toxic co-dependency that is the Winchester brothers? Stab stab stab. One of them even has a hammer… LOL.

(Yup its another one of my crappy gifs.)

The Sassiest Angel in the Garrison

Oh Cas, I have missed your beautiful face…

(x)

(Dipper agrees with me)

Now I think everyone knows by now that I hate Lucifer. As in, I find the character extremely irritating and just want him off our screens dead and buried, and that Mark P can go annoy some other shows audience. The ONLY thing that makes watching Lucifer remotely bearable for me, is Castiel - wonderful, perfect, funny, grumpy, brilliant Castiel, sassing the fuck out of him. Bearing in mind all their scenes but one took place behind bars, I was as always captivated by Cas and the brilliant genius he is.

So far in season 13, Castiel hasn’t actually spent much time using his powers, his grace, to actually get anything done. What he has done, is be incredibly smart and used that tactician brain of his to talk himself out of any situation. Everything Castiel does has a purpose. He is generally a creature of few words (except when it comes to Dean) and therefore, whenever he does speak, it is usually with a great deal of thought. (There was a brilliant meta on the word “assbutt” and how it is the worst insult he could possibly throw at Lucifer and yet everyone still ridicules him for it. Don’t knock the word assbutt. Cas knew exactly what he was doing!)

And so Cas isn’t just being a sassy little bitch in this episode. He’s being a sassy little bitch with purpose. Lucifer may be powered down, but he still has power. Cas knows this. Cas knows that the best way to get Lucifer activating what little power he has is to make him angry. So what does Cas do? He sass’s him, over and over. Pissing him off until eventually, it works.

“Turns out rage is a good motivator”

Such a badass. Bye bye little Dipper.

This is why you should never underestimate Castiel. He will always get the better of you. He will always come out on top in the end.

“This is me, learning from my mistakes” he says whilst stabbing Lucifer at the end of the episode. I thoroughly enjoyed that moment of course, even if we know already it doesn’t stick. Since Lucifer is alive next episode. *sigh*.

Lucifer has been continuously hinting all episode that he want’s Cas’s grace. It seems possible due to pics from next week, that he may actually get what he seeks.

Cas has blood on his collar, which he doesn’t have at the end of 13x12. So is Cas about to become human again? Or at least graceless? It’s possible. @tinkdw​ wrote this post about it (yes I stole her screencap). We were discussing this in our group chat yesterday and thanks to the themes that would come from another human!Cas story I can certainly get behind it, even if I hate the idea that it isn’t his choice yet again. This time, having Lucifer steal his grace seems worse than the first time. But as I mentioned above, Castiel has already shown several times this season that his grace is in no way where his strengths lie. I just hope that it is still his choice in the end to give it up, or not regain it, however that story may pan out.

But yeah maybe prepare ourselves for a human Cas whose grace was stolen by Lucifer plot? I mean if it doesn’t happen great, but if it does... don’t say we didn’t warn ya okay? I know how sensitive we all get about Cas stuff - this is literally the first any of us had thought of this. Besides, he’ll still be amazing even if Lucifer does take his grace, He’ll get in a few more stabs before the end. No doubt.

Other Awesome Stuff

The “fifth base” scene. Yeah this was certainly risqué of Yokey. I was screaming about this to Tink in the chatty bubbles, trust a gay writer to throw in a gay joke aimed at our currently in the closet bisexual lead character and have him act all awkward like he doesn’t know what it is… *glances at Sam* What? Nope, I’ve never… There’s NO SUCH THING AS FIFTH BASE. Sure Jan. Just as I scoff at the idea of Dean not knowing basic French, the idea that Dean DOESN’T know what fifth base is, is absurd. These are purposely input into this episode to raise our eyebrows and DOUBT them.

Baring in mind the way Rowena asks that question “Did THEY get to fifth base?” not “Did YOU get to fifth base” strongly implies actually that Rowena was asking if Dean was pegged. Let’s get that clear. Once again, we have a bottom!dean joke in the subtext of the show. (At some point we need to round up EVERY reference to Dean’s ass and compare it to the other characters just to make this point.)

Oh gosh I haven’t even got to “What’s by is by” yet. The top result in google for this supposed saying is a destiel fanfic written as coda for this episode. There is NOTHING else. It doesn’t exist. What is Yokey playing at exactly? Bygones be bygones maybe? But she had to say it like that? After a reference to anal? To DEAN? Yeah I know everyone is probably already yelling about this on tumblr but still. This is a very huge WTF from me to Yokey that he would ever think we WOULDN’T pick up on this. He did it on purpose. It has a reason, just like everything else. The reason being “Dean is Bi”.

......

(x)

The final scene with Rowena is spectacular. It’s also oddly erotic but maybe that’s just me. Rowena is finally unbound, powerful, free, and probably quite deadly. Here’s hoping she raises a hell of a storm. I have always loved Rowena’s character so for me this idea of her being “unbound” and basically immortal is really interesting. I just hope this paves the way to her helping the Winchesters defeat the big bads to come. Because I see her becoming more of an ally as time goes by. I hope she continues to have a big part to play in the story, and after this final scene I am practically sure she will. 

....

Castiel speaking about Jack like he’s a proud parent gives me life. He truly loves the kid. It’s beautiful.

....

Why does Lucifer attract so many dick jokes nowadays? I’m actually almost getting tired of them. For shits and giggles I’m gonna accept it at face value that Lucifer, unlike Crowley, is not well endowed. It makes sense. The tantrums, the violence. Little man syndrome. Pfft.

I’m also going to take it at face value that Cas is most likely huge. Yeah, that smirk is telling.

We all know he’s a big boy. ;-)

.... 

Hats off to Brenda. The biggest star of the episode. Never failed to make me laugh every time I watched.

You go Brenda. You were awesome.

Overall

Solid episode with lots of great moments. Now all I need is Cas to find the boys and get really pissy with them when he realises they didn’t ONCE figure out that Colonel Sanders was impersonating him. I mean sure, Dean has super low self esteem and was clearly grumpy with Cas at the start of the episode for only really checking in with Sam, not coming home after taking off, clearly CHOOSING the road over being at home with HIM... But that doesn’t excuse him being blind to Asmodeus’s impersonation. Bring on next week. I hope Dean grovels.

#supernatural #episode review #13x12 #destiel #spn meta #spn speculation #dean is bi #castiel #dean winchester #sam winchester #rowena #lucifer #season 13 #spn spoilers #my reviews #my meta

[alovelyalien]

when bts armys are asked the tough questions

i see these hard to answer questions get asked often by press and friends or family that dont understand the hype so i just wanted to type out my personal thoughts.. (sorry its long)

why do you love bts?

besides loving their music they are all extremely talented. they write and produce songs, and they can rap, sing, and dance on stage. they also have a lot of extra content. they make shows like bon voyage, bts run, bts gayo, and burn the stage (and more)- its an incredible work load. but the main reason i love bts is because of the messages they give through their music. In their early days they made music about school, something that was directly affecting them, they wanted to talk about issues that hit close to home. in the most beautiful moment in life era they treasure youth and all the experiences that come with the concept of youth, even things like being an underdog generation. in the wings era they change their vibe, every member has a solo track where they each get to express themselves. its truly a representation of the blood sweat and tears that they put into their occupation. you never walk alone shows the message of friendship and unity despite nostalgia they may feel from the hyyh era. And now we have the love yourself era, with the face yourself album on the horizon. this is a message i personally feel very close to. many people struggle with issues of self esteem and in this day and age where standards of beauty and success are set at a very high bar, now more than ever is the message of ‘love yourself’ important. 

would you still love bts if they were old and ugly? 

here’s the thing. if, in 2018 bts members were, lets say in their 50′s, bts would be an entirely different group with an entirely different message. their music and dancing style would be different, and they wouldn’t have messages you see in songs like baepsae or the love yourself album. It’s a silly question because armys love bts for who they are now, and the messages they stand for based on the generation that they are a part of. thet being said, as bts grows old and ugly, and we armys grow old and ugly with them, we will continute to love and support them even when we are in our wrinkly 50′s.

what do you think of the whole ‘bias’ culture in kpop? 

At first, it may seem like a strange thing, liking one member the most. Of course theres the mentality of wanting to love all the members equally, and dont get me wrong, we armys truly do love every single member. however, as you get to know a group and you watch things like interviews, vlives and the shows that they do, you get to know each of them as individuals and its easy to realize that you really relate to one or two specific members. i think its natural to find that theres a member you end up sort of falling in love with. 

if you could say one thing to bts as a group and one thing to your bias what would it be?

to bts: thank you for helping me on my journey towards learning to love myself; i hope that all seven of you are also able to love yourselves. to my bias: i hope that you can continue to laugh often, because your smile makes me smiile. 

#wrote this for myself to get personal thoughts out so dont feel obligated to read it and know my feelings on this may not be the same as you #bts #personal #just thoughts #cuz my dad keeps patronizing me i needed to come up with unrefutable answers #and i see lots of armys put on the spot with dumb questions like what if bts was old and ugly u wouldnt still like them then would u #save #bts army #im a fairly new army so if i like described an era wrong or something i apologize feel free to correct me dont hate im still learning #i ended up sitting down and spending an hour writing this instead of doing homework and studying for finals

[shark-myths]

Folie A Deux

I promised to write FAD meta like, forever ago. It took longer than I planned. Here it is, at last.

Folie is anthemic, artistic; it’s cynicism and heartbreak all layered up in failing hope. It’s Pete saying goodbye to his band and embarking on a new life as a husband and a father. It’s Patrick finding his confidence as a showman just in time for it to turn to ash on his tongue and prompt him to remake himself utterly. It’s Joe finally feeling like he has a role in FOB and creative ownership of his own band. It’s Andy, um, drumming. Super well. Without any particular emotional interpretation on my part because Andy’s, you know, pretty content to just play with his friends.

Without further blathering, allow me to present, at long last: a rambling, tear-filled, official Tryst Theory ™ interpretation of FOB’s fourth-and-almost-final studio album.

I am always struck most by the quality of obstruction in the albums produced during the Commercial Success/’Sell Out’ era. Pete begins obscuring himself for the first time during Infinity on High and especially Folie A Deux: the lyrics become increasingly senseless, more about cleverness and sound that saying things plainly. But he’s so honest during this era too. He tells us exactly what it feels like to be him, to be so pulled apart and scrutinized and sad, to be sick on his own hope. To be sick and fuzzy, made of stuffing, and far away on way-too-many anxiety meds. We get lines that don’t make much sense on the surface, like ‘I’m not a chance, put a heat wave in your pants,’ and we get the self-aware aggression of bops like I Don’t Care.

In the previous era, Pete didn’t really know what it meant, yet—being Pete Wentz. Being so public. Being the face of the band, being the bad guy and the heel. What it would cost. Now he understands that anything he touches, or looks at, or says at loud is going to change. Once he does it, says it, thinks it, feels it, it’s out of his control. It’s owned by someone else. Even his private body, his private phone. Even his decision to defend his friend from an aggressive bouncer onstage. The brand of phone he carries, the girls he texts, who he stands next to in photos, the cities where he plays shows and the cities he does not. Now he understands that his life is not his, but something the public will use to hurt him if we get bored. This is drugstore cowboy Pete. This is a Pete grown so heavy under the weight of his own misery and bullshit that he can barely go on. This is a Pete preparing to say goodbye.

Which is a long way of saying: Folie A Deux fucks me up.

 A little history (sourced heavily from Wikipedia):

The album was recorded from July-September 2008, beginning two months after Pete and Ashlee were married, and released in December 2008, shortly after Bronx was born. They started recording ahead of schedule, without telling the label, and deliberately limited their studio time. They wanted to recapture what they had felt during Grave, when they were racing against their drained back accounts to get the album set down. They wanted that simplicity and rawness, the feeling of being mixed-up kids half living out of a van and making music that felt vibrant and essential. Patrick told AP, “There was something really interesting about that creative process when we were starting out. The more time you have, the more potential you have for excess.” (He thought he dominated Infinity and wanted to pare himself back, reign himself in, for Folir.) They tried to emulate the process and feeling of Grave as much as possible: “first-thought, best-thought.” Joe pushed to be included more in collaboration and felt like he “owned the songs a lot more. It made me really excited about contributing to Fall Out Boy and made me find my role in the band.” Pete made an effort (this is him making an effort, okay) to keep his personal life more sequestered from the writing and use more metaphor and the conceit characters speaking lines, more like a stage musical. And, perhaps true to the feeling of Grave, Pete and Patrick fought painfully and violently over the record. It was personal and artistic for everyone. They felt it was their best work.

Fans tore them apart, of course. Booing anytime they played anything off the new record. The album undersold and public reception did not match the glowing critical reviews. They tried to say something important, to talk about society and convey real messages in their music. They were publicly rebuffed. Joe told Rolling Stone, “Some of us were miserable on stage. Others were just drunk.” The reception, the struggle, cemented what Pete had already decided to do: leave the band.

(Let’s not talk about the last song of what he thought would be their last show ever during which, instead of playing Saturday with his best friends and his me-and-Pat, he had the man who named the band in the first place shave off his signature Pete Wentz hair in a symbolic ritual of fucking morning, let’s not let’s not)

(but in case you want to)

 A little cover art:

I just want you to know that Pete Wentz has the original painting of that cover in his home. IN CASE YOU THINK THAT’S RELEVANT.

This image. With Pete’s furry history. With the costumes and feeling like a zoo animal and playing the role of the heel, with the way he said in the Folie Making Of video that being perceived in media is “like wearing a costume, you’re not who you are.” With his interest especially in bears, the talk of stitches and stuffing and seams, with the Lullabye track and ‘honey is for bees silly bear’ (and Black Cards’ ‘you’re my best friend, honeycomb head’) and the whole Winnie the Pooh vibe. With the devoted companionship and singular love exhibited by Winnie the Pooh and the way he turns back into inert, lifeless stuffing when you grow too old and you forget what he really is and see him as just a toy, empty and pliable, and the way only childhood wonder and innocence can return him to life. How the cover has not just one person on it, but a bear-boy plus one: a madness shared by two. A real bear, and someone who’s just pretending, or just trying to be. What a match, what a catch.

WHAT A PETERICK MASTERPIECE THIS FUCKING ALBUM IS

The liner notes are empty, by the way. For the physical CD. The liner notes are just pictures and names of band members, then production information and thanks to ‘fans, friends, and loves.’ Nothing else. No lyrics. No record. If that’s not foreshadowing—

 And now said masterpiece itself:

1. Disloyal Order of the Water Buffaloes

Okay, so let’s take a step back and imagine for a second the decision-making process that went into writing a magnum fucking opus Peterick anthem to open the album with. Are we all on the same page here? WHAT THE FUCK, were they TRYING to kill me

This album is the fucking Holy Grail of the drug use = Patrick metaphor, and we dive right into it with this one. Boycott love. Detox just to retox. DRAW YOUR OWN HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T PARALLELS. #trysttheory

For all that Pete tried to move away from autobiographical lyrics on this album, his view of himself is plain in this song: ‘perfect boys with their perfect lives, no one wants to hear you sing about tragedy.’

The line ‘fell out of bed, butterfly bandage, but don’t worry’ brings up my theories about what dreams mean. Falling out of bed and getting hurt is a clear consequence of dreaming so hard you forgot it was just a dream (or trysting with your best friend and forgetting there could be consequences, real people you can hurt and yourself included). ‘You’ll never remember, your head is far too blurry’ ties into w.a.m.s as well as Cooperstown and the idea of being blurry-headed, impaired because you’re fucked up on love or some other drug, and making choices you’d regret, if you could remember them. Making mistakes you’ll have to live with whether you remember them or not.

(Romantically speaking, water buffaloes are disloyal: Google suggests a single male water buffalo can sire as many as 100 baby buffs in a single mating season. It seems pretty obvious throughout this album that issues of infidelity were large in Pete’s mind while writing these lyrics.)

2. I Don’t Care

This song makes me think of Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) so much. Starting over again in Mexico, friends who don’t care about you, the blues-pop bounce to it and repeating riff? Sonically, they have a lot in common.

Pete may be playing on his previous reference to Closer (‘he tastes like you only sweeter’) with the opening line here—‘say my name and his in the same breath, I dare you to say they taste the same’—which is the saddest and most painful movie about heterosexuals you will ever watch, but writing that line and putting it on Patrick’s tongue? That may be the gayest thing that happens to me all night, guys, and I’m a queer girl with a bottle of wine and a long, long Friday evening ahead of me.

This song is so much a conversation Pete is having with the world about his fame and notoriety, imo. He calls it a narcissist’s anthem but I don’t think that’s it, exactly. I think—and the music video backs me up on this—it’s a coy wink at their own reputation, all the shit people are slinging about them and Pete specifically. We get a drug reference here, too: ‘take a chance, let your body get a tolerance.’

Also, Patrick is a nun in the video. Pete put Patrick in a literal fucking habit. What more do you need to me to say to prove definitely that Pete is desperately in love with him? This. Kid. In. A. Nun’s. Habit.

3. She’s My Winona

IF THIS SONG ISN’T A DISCUSSION OF HOW PETE HAD TO REVISE HIS PETERICK AMBITIONS WHEN HE FOUND OUT ASHLEE WAS PREGNANT

(There are so many suicide references in this song I want to join Pete and the band’s manager in cheering and celebrating all over again that our boy lived to 28. You can physically feel him resigning himself to living a long life in these verses.)

‘Hell or glory, I don’t want anything in between.’ I take this line as pretty directly about him and Patrick: he doesn’t care if they go to hell and it ruins the band, he wants to take the risk, because he thinks together they could be—glory. He wants to roll the dice. (Take a chance—I’m not a chance.) And ‘then came a baby boy with long eyelashes, and daddy said “you gotta show the world the thunder.”’ In other words, he wanted hell or glory, ruination or Patrick, but then along came his son. And his priorities changed. Of course they did. True love is one thing; raising your child is another.

‘We had a good run, even I have to admit.’

(And—here’s the thing—people ask me sometimes, what I think about Pete marrying Ashlee. “Do you think he married her just because it was the right thing to do?” No. I think he believed in love and family and forever. I think Pete believed it would work. I think he wanted it to. I think that’s why the trysting, and eventually the band, stopped: because Pete tried his fucking best. I think he loved her and loved the idea of a future for himself—the first time he’s ever really imagined that. The idea of somewhere to belong, a real family, one that he felt part of. I think he wanted more than anything for it to work precisely because it was so different from what he, or anyone else, ever expected for him. He said ‘I want to marry this girl’ and he meant it. He really did intend to love her forever, as best he could, and not love anyone else if he could help it.

But those aren’t good reasons to build a whole relationship on, a marriage on. And he was a mess, and in love with Patrick too, and hated and famous and fucked. He had no privacy, limited emotional maturity, a burgeoning substance problem and no sense of himself that wasn’t dependent on what the culture and the media and his fans and his friends reflected back to him and said was true. There was no way they could be happy together under those circumstances, and he’d have stayed forever anyway, I think. His interviews about that time—when he stopped shaving, then stopped showering; when he was a drugstore cowboy stay-at-home dad, depressed and giving up—he doesn’t blame Ashlee for wanting to leave. He hated himself enough to be miserable forever, but she didn’t. So of course it fell apart.)

4. America’s Suitehearts

This commercial headfuck of a song. Jerry christ, guys, someone throw me an anchor so I can drown myself. This caricature, the monstrosity and performance of celebrity, the way the band is reduced to wrestling alter egos, painted and pretend. No one’s being subtle with this song, this video. They are showing us exactly what they mean.

‘I must confess, I’m in love with my own sins.’

DO YOU MEAN LIKE BEING IN GAY LOVE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND

DO YOU MEAN THAT SIN?

And this verse, though ostensibly about the vagaries of fame, sounds so much like him falling in love with Patrick while Patrick is oblivious:

‘You can bow and pretend you don’t know you’re a legend. Time just hasn’t told anyone else yet. I’m sorry, I just let my love loose again.’

For so many years, Pete believed his love was something he had to apologize for. 😭 😭 😭 😭

5. Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet

Okay, fuck this, I’m done

This fucking

This

UGH

Remember the paternity rumors at the time of Ashlee’s pregnancy? Look at this whole complicated, tangled-up song about infidelity and paternity and the idea of Ashlee cheating while Pete’s cheating too. ‘Keep a calendar, this way you will always know’ [who impregnated you]. ‘I will never end up like him. behind my back, I already am.’ I literally cannot

‘Does he know the way I worship our love’

6. The (Shipped) Gold Standard

do I even need to keep writing this or is the album now, itself, independently writing the tryst theory

my notes for this song just say ‘come the fuck on’

This song is about: living in LA and missing Chicago (and what it felt like in Chicago, who you were and who you were with); taking accountability for your own actions even when it does not satisfy your hedonistic urges (e.g., marrying your pregnant girlfriend and breaking off your illicit love affair with Patrick Stump), trying to remake your identity and change yourself like those are the same thing and you can get a new heart as easily as a new name; losing your luck and breaking up (‘tell that boy I’ll leave you alone now, like a stove, I’ll turn my love down); horseshoe crabs; and of course, that good ol’ famous-in-the-closet feel:

‘I wanna scream I love you from the top of my lungs, but I’m afraid that someone else will hear me.’

7. Coffee’s For Closers

I’m just crying by now I can’t type anymore

He’s using this whole album to break up with Patrick, to explain, to say goodbye

‘I want everything to change and stay the same. Time doesn’t care about anyone or anything. Come together, come apart.’

‘We will never believe again’

And: ‘kick drum beating in my chest again’ and that feeling, the one we’ve all felt in the pit at any show, any good one with that golden-vibe in the air, the one that makes your heart feel connected to the hearts of everyone around you, like you could be lifted on light and floating around the room, like the love is pouring out of you and rising like heat and linking up to the network of love flowing into and out of everyone else, when you feel it and know they do too and your whole body vibrates with the impossible imperceptible hum of your very atoms, your constituent fucking molecules lit up and stitched together by this, this, this. The feeling like you don’t need lungs because singing in breath and bellows enough, the feeling like the only reason you ever had a heart was so the drummer could pump it with their sticks. ‘Preach electric to the microphone stand,’ Patrick the conductor, Patrick the evangelist, Patrick the gospel of his fucking love. Pete’s saying goodbye to that feeling. Pete knows, he knows already, what he is planning to do.

Pete’s lying. Pete’s saying ‘I love the mayhem more than the love’ like all he’s really been out to do is make a mess, break hearts, take names. Like he is no more and no less than what all the tabloids say about him. (Never watch the Fresh Only Bakery videos on youtube. They are boring, for one, and also the saddest fucking Pete you will ever see.) Pete’s saying ‘I will never believe in anything again’ and he’s making Patrick say it too, because true-blue love was supposed to last forever, and then Pete got married to someone else.

‘Oh, change will come.’

8. What A Catch, Donnie

NO. NO

how the fuck dare this song even exist

So this is it. This is the goodbye. Pete has talked about how he wrote this song from Patrick’s perspective, and he recruited some of Patrick’s favorite artists and friends of the band to sing different lines in a medley of the band’s hits up to this point. This is like, the FOB song equivalent of a suicide note. (To follow this with a greatest hits album—! G O D)

The reference to Roberta Flack and Donny Hathaway—their collaboration, his ultimate suicide, and the way Miss Flack looked on all his destruction and said ‘I still want you back’ is absolutely a testament to the way Patrick, and the rest of the band, forgave him and took him back in after the notorious Best Buy Incident. The gratitude for the whole band and what the band has done for Pete is tied up in this song. ‘You’ll never catch us’ smacks of trysting, and there’s something to the line ‘I’m the one who charmed the one who gave up on you,’ as the speaker in the sentence in meant to be Patrick and the ‘you’ is presumed to be Pete.

‘They say the captain goes down with the ship, so when the world ends, will God go down with it?’ is both Pete’s intention to go down with the band (which he’s planning to sink, or sees unraveling already in the painful writing process—we don’t know at what point he made his decision to destroy yet another thing he loved in penance for some deep, unknowable conviction of sin) and his gesture of setting them free. The Video of Which We Will Not Speak shows this pretty clearly. Pete saves everyone and everything he’s ever loved at the bargain price of drowning himself. He does it without ever even appearing in the aired version of the video. *broken sobbing*

(The links for the full version are not currently on Youtube, but you can read about it here: http://www.mtv.com/news/1618609/fall-out-boy-release-wrong-version-of-what-a-catch-donnie-video/)

What a match, what a catch. If I say anything else about this song, and how basically everyone who heard it knew it meant the band was going to break up, I will absolutely fall apart

9. 27

OH GOOD A SONG I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH WITHOUT CHOKING ON MY OWN TEARS

NOT

So here’s a lovely little ditty about how Pete Wentz did not kill himself and die at age 27 as he always thought he would! Hahahahahaha I’m fine it’s fine I’m so glad this album exists I’m so glad I’m TALKING ABOUT IT

‘If home is where the heart is, then we’re all just fucked.’ All three of them: Pete, Patrick, and Ashlee. And every FOB fan out there. Ahahaha. GUYS I’M NOT OKAY

We’ve got Peterick drug metaphors to rival the punch of Hold Me Tight Or Don’t: ‘I want it so bad, I’d shoot the sunshine into my veins… Doing lines of dust and sweat off of last’s night stage just to feel like you. Milligrams in my head, burning tobacco in my wind, chasing the direction you went.’

We’ve got desperation about growing and changing and losing that which they so valued in their sound and collaboration on Grave: ‘I can’t remember the good old days. Are all the good times getting gone? They come and go and come and go.’

We’ve got the pressure of keeping your love affair with your lead singer a secret lest you risk your fame, label representation, and fortune: ‘My mind is a safe, and if I keep it in we all get rich’ right next to the dirty, hollow feeling of having images of your body stolen and used to drag your name and reputation like you had no more heart than any other empty doll and losing the value of yourself in that process: ‘My body is an orphanage, we take everyone in.’

We’ve got the romantic comparison to cosmic entities, just like in Real Ones: ‘you’re a bottled star, the planets align. You’re just like Mars, you shine in the sky.’ And that tinge of disparagement and lonesomeness: ‘I’ve got a lot of friends who are stars but some are just black holes.’

10. Tiffany Blews

This song plays with a lot of fun moth/flame metaphors that I really enjoy, while also really amplifying the isolation and quick-burning nature of fame. I think that Pete gets a sick satisfaction from having Patrick sing out the worst things he thinks about himself, that he thinks everyone else thinks about him. (Pete, I think, is the little black dress that will be faded soon.)

Interestingly, we have ‘a roman candle heart keeps us far apart,’ which is a pretty direct link to the later Fourth of July. A heart that flares, explodes, and then burns out quickly certainly would be an obstacle to building a lasting relationship, no matter how much you loved someone…

‘Hate me, baby. Maybe I’m a piece of art.’

‘Dear gravity, you held me down in this starless city’ makes me think of the Moonrise Kingdom quote in Wilson (Expensive Mistakes): ‘I hope the roof flies off and we all get sucked into space.’ It’s the opposite, basically. Hoping to fall in love and get thrown up among the glittering cosmos rather than anchored someplace dark and starless. (Aside: I love how susceptible Pete is to grand, cheesy quotes? Like when, a few days after the release of The Last Jedi, he tweeted the heavy-handed noir line ‘I want to put my fist through this whole lousy, beautiful town.’ Like, look for that in a FOB song someday.)

11. w.a.m.s.

For the curious, Andy confirmed on Twitter that the title stands for waitress/actress/model/singer, a reference to the stereotype of people who run away to Hollywood to make it big but end up washing out and struggling as the starving artist/waitstaff type. If this idea of our boys citing bankrupt ambition does not make you emotional, you may not have a heart.

This song is incredibly relevant to the dreams meta linked earlier—‘when all the others were just stirring awake, I’m trying to trick myself to fall asleep again’ is very evocative of being in denial over the jarring reality of the end of the tryst. I think this song is about one of the last times Pete and Patrick slept together before breaking up.

‘My head’s in heaven, my soles are in hell’ again highlights that Pete’s wildest Patrick dreams are very different than where he actually finds himself; ‘let’s meet in the purgatory of my hips and get well’ is a pretty transparent request, isn’t it? Especially since pre-hiatus Pete really loved to use ‘hips’ as a signifier for sexual desire/activity. Let’s just fuck and pretend it’s all okay. Let’s lose ourselves in each other and pretend we can have it. Tell me I’m the only one, even if it’s not true. Let me get high on this memory one last time.

‘Hurry, hurry. You put my head in such a flurry, flurry’ is the urgency and compromised judgment of the tryst. ‘Oh freckle freckle’ can be read as Patrick’s forehead mole. ‘What makes you so special? I’m gonna leave you’ tells us what makes the last time so good: Pete knows it’s the last time. Pete knows he has to end it. But he’s so addicted-sick, ((stray-dog sick,)) he can’t stop. ‘I’m gonna teach you how we’re all alone’ doesn’t really sound like something a newlywed and soon-to-be-dad should be saying, does it? But there it is. How can he let go when he knows ‘how heartwarming it is inside your skin’?

The final nail in my coffin: ‘I’m a sunshine machine. I want to get stuck and be golden in your memory.’

We’ve talked about how Patrick = sunshine = gold, right. r i g h t

12. 20 Dollar Nose Bleed

Fun fact: this song is basically erotica to me ever since I wrote that recording booth smut about it! I can’t even listen to it without blushing and becoming uncomfortable. So there’s something you didn’t need to know about me that you… now know about me.

‘Permanent jet lag, please take me back. I’m stray dog sick, please let me in. The mad key’s tripping, singing vows before we exchange smoke rings.’ It is OBVIOUSLY my prerogative to interpret this as slightly depraved sexual longing, but I especially like the bit about singing vows without ever exchanging anything lasting or visible that implies commitment—this can be heard as a comment on the fickleness of commitment, or it can be heard as a comment about how deeply he is/was committed to Patrick even though they never had anything to show for it. Anything they could show for it. Even to each other.

Benzedrine is, of course, the very first pharmaceutical amphetamine (read about it here!). Many great artists and thinkers were influenced by the impossible energy it gives you, which is obviously relatable to someone who experiences natural mania, peddling his own prescription like a ‘medicine man’ (Wilson lyrics). I think the verse about Benzedrine and not letting the doctor in not-so-obliquely references the issue with medication compliance that Pete experienced and many people diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder also do: the meds for this disorder are really unpleasant. They dull you out, they give you tremors, they have really strong side effects, and they take away that amazing manic spark that so many artists credit with their success. Don’t let the doctor in. They’ll take away the only thing he really likes about being himself.

‘Have you ever wanted to disappear?’ is, I think, a glimpse of the unadorned real.

The spoken word bit at the end of this song really hammers together a lot of the themes of the whole album, the whole band, personal and political both. ‘You said you’re not listening and I said I’m wishing…’, only we don’t ever find out what’s really being said.

13. West Coast Smoker

I love the hell out of this song because there are few things in life that are hotter than Patrick singing the chorus. And fuck. Patrick saying curse words. I die every time. I think this is a kink I share with Pete Wentz. I think one day Pete Wentz and I will share a circle of hell. It will be called the ‘Underage Stump Mouth Rotunda,’ and we will all be very ashamed.

We’ve got a lot of the same themes: the ease of suicide and the conviction to live, the way shows feel and how it was when they were kids, drug use and overmedicated ennui. Pete was once the son, is becoming the father, is resolving not to become the holy ghost.

‘I’m the last of my kind’ and ‘when they made me they broke the mold’ and the finality of it all. (Contrasted with the modern era: ‘you’re the last of a dying breed.’ Pete has grown up and away from his recursive self-obsession, from his own myth. Pete learning to look inside others and stop dismissing himself, and everyone else, as fool’s gold.)

‘Your eyes are blocking my starlight’ to me really speaks to the person who is keeping him from Patrick, or the people—the fans, the Public, with their eyes on his every action.

14. Pavlove

I LOVE THIS SONG

Once again, we have a drug use metaphor: ‘she’s back to the bathroom for one more,’ ‘get addicted to this,’ and of course, the endless seeking for something to make ‘my chest stir/my head blur.’ And: ‘I’m not ready for a handshake with death, I’m just such a happy mess’ shows us, for once, what Pete has to live for—not just that he’s resigned to life, but the reason for it. This song is all tied up with the heady swell of live music and self-medication, and there’s no line more representative of my experience as a bisexual person than ‘I’m the invisible man who can’t stop staring at the mirror.’

‘I want to make you as lonely as me so you can get addicted to this’ seems very directed at Patrick, doesn’t it? Because this is a Pete who needs Patrick too much, thinks Patrick doesn’t need him back, is terrified. Doesn’t know how to solve his problems except to flee them. So: he flees them.

 I MADE IT. I BARELY FUCKING MADE IT BUT I DID.

To sum up: Folie is an incredible, sweeping, beautiful album about the glory of Peterick and the band’s impending end, and it will break your heart. Hit me up with questions and requests, and as always, thank you for reading!

shark-myths out *mic drop*

#tryst theory #peterick #fall out boy #fob #pete wentz #patrick stump #pete wentz x patrick stump #lyrics meta #folie #america's suitehearts #prehiatus #small out boy #folie a deux #fad

[funkymbtifiction]

Typing Help

Hi - I’d like to ask for your help about typing as I’m really doubting myself being an INFP; because of certain mental health issues (Depression/ADHD/ASD) in my family and maybe with myself, I’m kind of thinking that some of those traits related to those issues have affected me and influenced my typing result instead of showing how I really think, or how I really am.

The only thing I’m certain of is being an enneagram 4, and that’s it.

Mod note: ISFP.

Your early sections were Fi/Te indicative, so I’ll keep them private and focus on Se vs Ne.

Intuition-Based Questions: *

Do you find it easier to describe things in vague or detailed terms?

Detailed. As no extra thought has to be put in to figure out what something is saying. Then again; when the language is abstract and out there and too long - I get lost. If it’s simple English I’m good. Just don’t be vague - It’s unhelpful and I guess what I’m saying is talk is cheap.

Sounds like a sensor before an intuitive.

Can you describe the intuitive connections you see in the world in easily-understood terms for others to understand or struggle to put them into words?

Not well; the best I’ve come to describing it is a tangled-web of sorts or something thats always “there” and is linked to what I see and observe.

Could be Ni.

How much of your natural focus is on a singular vision of the future?

i guess I’m generally a future-oriented person; a bit optimistic and idealistic in a way. I try not to look back and I’m always looking forward to what happens next. I’m not that much stuck in the past. My focus is generally the present; because the future is intangible and I suck at motivating myself to make what I want happen.

Se/Ni. INFPs get stuck in the past too much, due to tert-Si constantly interfering with their thought process, but you prefer the present (Se) and the future (Ni).

How often do you abandon projects midway through and why? How long have you stuck with certain interests and why do you value them?

It happens fairly often with me. I can’t follow through and I procrastinate because I’ll think I’m not good enough or that whatever I’m going to do is not going to plan. I don’t stick to things quickly - as it soon becomes monotonous and painful to do. What I do stick with - I.e, music, gaming, reading and drawing I keep as there is always new things to do, learn about as well.

Lower Te problems + sensory focus.

Do you place too much faith, or not enough, in your own hunches? Are they specific or prone to changing with more information?

My hunches are dead-on specific but I’ll leave them be and focus on what’s happening - because I don’t trust how quick they are to arise. They can sometimes change based on information available but the hunches I get are simply from small cues in observation or the “vibes” that I get about people or surroundings.

Se/Ni, IMO.

What happens to you more often: you become fixated and unable to change your direction or you cannot choose between possibilities?

I can’t choose what to do because my idea corresponds to what I want to do; yet there is considering what may be better. I’m pretty uncertain - yet I think what I said may be down to direction as opposed to possibilities.

Sounds like a strong ability to focus and zero in on what you want -- Fi/Ni.

Can you take someone else’s idea and expand it without needing down time, or do you prefer subconscious mulling over an idea before you accept it?

I’m quick witted - I suppose but I need time to think and visualise an idea out before anything can happen. Sometimes I do come up with stuff instanteously - but it’s no good at all.

No Ne.

When approaching a new situation in which you have no experience, what do you do? (Leap in and assume you can handle it, or try and relate it to a former experience as a guideline?)

I try it out and see what happens I guess. I do leap and bite off more than I can chew, so to speak.

Se.

How confident are you in being sensory-aware and attentive to the environment? Can you describe a situation in which you did both? Is it often?

I can be sensory aware and active to a decent degree - but due to I’m observing something else in my environment/because of what I think is a short attention span - I’m out of it entirely/ or being focused on anticipation instead of doing - I suck at being sensory aware. A squash coach asked what my favourite subject is - and I said science; and she said that my poor performance makes sense as I’ve naturally conditioned myself to think at 100 mph; but when I am focused everything is fine. I guess lack of self esteem stems into the physical as well; because If I feel inconfident or confused I feel like my coordination is off. As for attentiveness. - a good example is when my family and I were watching  The Godfather Part 2 (I was popping in and out of watching with them) and there was one scene where the Corleone brothers were in Cuba and they were talking about Mafia killings and what might happen; and I noticed a small change in one of the men’s faces and a slow-shift/lean-back in his chair and I knew, just then that he must have snitched about something. And my parents who saw the movies in their entirety said I was correct.

Thank you for proving to anyone who reads this that Se can be rubbish at sensory awareness sometimes, and zero in on a minute detail leading into a Ni conclusion at others. ;)

What areas in which do you ‘lose control’ or act different from yourself when upset, pressured for time, and forced to take immediate action?

My behaviour changes a lot. Does a complete 180°. When I’m pressured and upset I’ll let you know - but in the worst way possible. Saying backhanded comments under my breath and just generally being angry at others; and being miserable all the damn time - and just general acting up even when the smallest of things don’t go my way.

Possible low Te manifesting.

What is something that nags at you every day, as if you feel you should be ‘better’ at this than you are?

I think my general focus is one thing that annoys me a lot - like I just cannot think straight at all because I guess I’m either somewhere else or just focused on my environment and surroundings and looking all over tbe place; so I guess that’s why I don’t get things done when I should. Also making clear and decisive decisions is also something that bugs at me a lot - and then there’s also trying to think before I speak instead of having an outburst or saying something that isn’t nice at all.

Low Te envying higher Te and more diplomatic approaches.

What have others said about or admired in you and complained about?

They say that even though I’m quiet I’m enthusiastic with getting involved in a lot of things. People also always say that I seem to have a quiet confidence about me - but I don’t think that’s true. My parents say that I’m kind and that I’m always willing to champion an underdog- and that I have admirable ethics;they also say I have keen bursts of exact and strong intuition as well. Some have complained that I sometimes let things get the better of me - like my emotions and also mulling over things before they even happen; and feeling like there is no escape from that outcome; therefore I procrastinate a lot. Some people also say I’m a bit “soft” - when it comes to emotions in general; and I’m super prone to self-deprecation. I’ve also been described as a bit chaotic, goofy, silly and funny by some and yeah, a bit strange.

What do you admire most in other people?

That they are confident in being who they truly are - and they have certain talents and traits that make them unique and stick out from the rest of the crowd. Also that they fit in and that they have close connections with others. I don’t know - maybe because I’m a private person or I’m so moody that  I don’t notice my friends around me- I’m not sure at all.

ISFP.

- ENFP Mod

#question #isfp #mbti #type me