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#i want to develop games so bad you have no idea
another-lost-mc · 1 day
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is it bad that as much as i like your ocs (theyre amazing, i love them!), i really miss seeing you write for the canon characters
You know, that’s valid. The proportion of Canon and OC content here lately has been way off. It’s sort of the elephant in the room I ignore every time I think about Obey Me and my inspiration automatically focuses on the world building or OC potential instead.
There’s a few reasons why I’ve been less interested in writing canon lately.
1. Disappointment with Nightbringer. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure why this game exists (except to overhaul the franchise’s monetization structure). The premise and lore payoff hasn’t been that great for me personally - it feels more like an AU rather than a canon addition/continuation of the OG game. It feels like we still end up with more loose ends and questions that we don’t have (and may never get) answers for. I’m still waiting for Raphael and Mephisto to be dateable, by the way. As a result, my focus when writing OM content has been using the OG story/characterization using the odd piece from NB that makes sense, and that leads into…
2. My favourite parts of Obey Me are under-developed in canon. I enjoy most of the canon cast, I really do. But I want more Celestial Realm lore, I want more Michael (and not NB HM Lesson 20 Michael), I want more angels in general. They’ve mentioned Uriel a couple times now, give me that angel please and thank you! (No longer relevant, I wrote a version of him myself.)
The world feels so empty at times but there’s so much potential. Parts of the Devildom are more fleshed out with NB adding to it, but what about the other realms? What’s going on with the Sorcerer’s Society and the reapers? I never know if the interesting hints of lore we get are truly relevant or if it’s just something the game decided was convenient for a plot point and never gets mentioned again. NB has been great for Solomon fans since it’s practically a Solomon x MC fanfic written with a forced roommates trope, and that might be the best thing about it from a lore perspective.
My OCs were originally meant to explore gaps in the world and give the canon characters room to grow beyond the one or two defining traits the game keeps repeating over and over. I like writing Mammon when I can have him interact with Karasu, I like imagining the types of angels other exchange students might meet in the Celestial Realm, I like giving a name and personality to the mysterious owner of The Fall where so many events and Devilgram stories take place. Admittedly, it was refreshing to see that other people enjoyed reading about them or imagining them paired with their own MCs/OCs too. I call them the OC Fan Club with genuine affection.
3. It’s not something I talk about often but before I began writing fanfiction, I was mostly focused on concepts or outlines for original stories. Writing supernatural and horror themes always been my interest as a writer so anything with demons/angels/other monstrous races automatically catches my eye.
It’s a little mean to say, but half-baked worlds like the Devildom are a lot of fun to use as a foundation for expanding my own ideas. The OC story I’ve been working on is one way for me to write longer and more complex pieces which is the type I like most. Granted, it includes nearly the entire game cast and it explores the Devildom and Celestial Realm in ways that tie together some of my favourite personal headcanons and characterization. It focuses on angel characters and the history/culture of the Celestial Realm which are two of my main interests for this game. It’s a huge project - the outline is nearly 20k words on its own, it’s practically a novel divided into four sections with 30+ chapters and an epilogue. I can’t even express how excited I am when I get to work on this.
That being said, I do like writing canon content and I’ve been missing it more lately. I got burnt out when it felt like I was losing interest in NB and was pushing myself to keep writing anyway which isn’t great.
Today someone left a nice comment on something I wrote a while back, an angst piece for the demon brothers. I haven’t read it in a while and after going back and re-reading it, I was like, “Huh, I don’t remember liking this as much as I do.” And then I remembered something in my drafts that’s been rotting away, half-edited and ignored, and realized that I wanted to finish it. So, I’ve been slowly tinkering with things while I work on my angels’ story. Some of my plans are ambitious and real life distractions (mostly health related, like my recent bout of COVID) haven’t helped.
If I learned anything about my writing since starting this blog, it’s that:
writing what you’re passionate about is more fulfilling than writing what seems trendy or popular
giving and receiving feedback and fostering friendships/supporting each other keeps the community thriving
self care self care self care
Anyway. My goal has always been to write about the things I love about the game world and the things I create that are inspired by it. It’s a delicate balancing act that I’m still working on.
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pillowspace · 4 months
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One of the most frustrating things is having the sincerest desire to participate in a hobby, and having none of the means necessary to do so. I am going to eat drywall
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zelda-posting · 29 days
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tears of the kingdom could have been so good if it were built around like, its story or its characters instead of being a clunky shell to show off the mechanic no one asked for that it forces you to use
#*#text#totk#mechanics#i had fun scuttling around in the depths for a while but that got old eventually. for obvious reasons#what i liked about zelda games was always the atmosphere and character interactions#like. one of my favorite games is twilight princess. which is. deeply unserious in many ways#bit it COMMITTED to its setting and what the writers went ham making sure#that it was still full of whimsy and affection.#totk doesn't have that. the characters are all 1) instruction manuals or 2) vehicles for what small and disparate semblances of plot#survived whatever disaster must have happened in development that made them cannibalize several different ideas#and stick them into the shell for the fucking. arm#totk plays like a gallery or again just an engine for the building thing.#it's pretty. the music is good. the building thing is well made. but as a zelda game totk Fucking Tanks#i HATE overinvolved mechanics. i HATE having to stop and rely on a Whole Process that i have to keep stocked#to get anything done. i've always liked loz again bc of characters and whimsy but also bc it's always been mechanically vert streamlined#and accessible to someone like me who is disabled and finds fiddling EXTREMELY tedious#you have one required tool per dungeon and they're QUICK they're SIMPLE they're A GOOD TIME#totk. to me. is just clunky and has no redeeming qualities outside of again being pretty and still sort of nominally letting you run around#collecting things. some of the side quests were cute. but even then the characters were very.#THE THING ABOUT ZELDA GAMES IS THAT IM used TO THEM BEING ABOUT. NOT JUST THE FUNCTION!!!!!!#there were things— many of them! sometimes most of them even!!!— there just for fun. again almost especially The Characters#totk is so goddamn UTILITARIAN on all levels ITS. CLUNKY and BORING i don't WANT to have to do 30 things just so i can do something else.#hey nintendo. if you have to force people to play your game. like if you specifically have an ''open'' game and then subsequently have to#manufacturer MANY blocks and caveats to the idea of ''do whatever have fun!!'' so that it's''but only how WE want you to''. maybe thats bad.#maybe you've done a bad job. if again. you have to FORCE players to go about things in the way and order that you want. it's no fun.#like even zelda games where you have less options and linear progression feel less restrictive bc like. they don't fucking punish you.#for. playing the game. you just can't do things. totk really punishes you for going off script. which like. why even do that.#anyway. this is all probably incoherent. i'm right tho.#wow there are so many typos. pretend there are not <3
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gloriousmonsters · 9 months
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read camp dama.scus. enjoyed some stuff, really wish i didn't have the experience so often reading a book that's Good and Progressive and about Queer Affirmation etc of feeling like i'm side-eying the author like 'and you know that delineating the people that oppose you as pure evil that therefore deserves torture or death or being eliminated from society entirely is bad, right? you know that, right??'
#it's kind of funny bc the main character is a jack chick tract atheist in a way bc#she rejects her religion (REALLY quickly and easily lol) and immediately starts... conceiving of HERSELF as a prophet/god#as in. starts making up 'bible' verses that are about Her and how awesome she is#and how she's going to bring down her enemies with the righteous flaming sword of vengeance and wrath and truth etc#which i would love as a character Thing if the narrative didn't just treat this as 'super metal' with absolutely no further examination#(seriously she casually drops that she's been making up bible-style verses abt herself and her ideas#in convo with her Token Good Christian friend. by CITING ONE OF THEM#LIKE IT'S A BIBLE VERSE. and then going 'o yeah i've been making those up'#and her friend's reaction is just 'haha that's sick' and moving on)#listen i'm all for god complexes and edgy bullshit but the presentation along w the general#descriptions of the Enemy as 'cartoonishly pure evil' and implicit 'haha nice!' around the idea of THEM getting tortured forever#just leaves me ://///#i might be oversensitive to this after stuff like Sorrowland and Pet but.... just. ech. i wish i didn't have to play the game of#'do you think torture is ok if it's someone you don't like?' and 'do you consider people who do bad things as human?' in the first place#also it was just a HUGELY underwritten book lol it'd make a decent movie but viewed as a book it gets funnier the longer i think about it#was marketed as conversion camp horror. 0 conversion camp content bc IT ALREADY HAPPENED#0 relationship development bc the two people the MC connects with she ALREADY HAD RELATIONSHIPS WITH. THAT SHE FORGOT#so you can 'i'm falling for x again' all you want dr tingle that's not what's happening the work is not there#also ofc the other two people are just. The Tech Guy and The Cool Hot Nice Love Interest (2 aesthetic traits no personality)#so yeah like. some very good horror moments/concepts! but some Problems. For Sure#vic talks#book talk
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spacedlexi · 1 year
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absolutely wild to me that i will see the takes “mass effect andromeda is just a rewrite of me1″ and “mass effect andromeda just isnt a mass effect game” side by side do you not hear yourselves
#its n7 day i get to talk about mass effect all i want#i see the 'mea isnt a bad game its just a bad mass effect game' take so often#but like!! what does that even mean!! no one ever explains what they think qualifies as a mass effect game#i agree that elements of mea are similar to me1#but i dont necessarily think thats a bad thing?#it gives people something familiar to attach to when theyre surrounded by a new cast and galaxy they have to get to know#andromeda definitely qualifies as a mass effect game#and i especially respect it for trying to go back to the original roots of mass effect which was supposed to focus on exploration#does andromeda have faults? absolutely. disappointing is the best word i can use to describe iy#but my disappointment mainly comes from being able to see What they wanted to accomplish with mea and how they really fumbled it#due mainly to poor management#which is the saddest part#theres a lot of good ideas there!! especially with what you learn in the last like 5% of the game lol#people will compare mea to the entire completed me trilogy when thats not fair and should Only be compared to me1#in terms of its story and characters at least. and i think the mea cast developed much more by the end of the game than the og crew did in 1#like we all remember liara being a weird fangirl and tali being a walking dictionary#mea combat is the me series at its best even if youre one of the people who Hates that you cant control squadmates#having mapped powers makes the combat sooo much faster and more fluid and theres no way to have that while keeping the power wheel#i was sad about the loss of it too but your squadmates are pretty good at comboing your moves it just takes getting used to#also people who say the pacing is bad when they follow one mission across multiple planets when youre just supposed to focus on one location#like i said mea disappoints me but its still rated a 7/10 like thats not a bad score by any means?? i agree a 7 is fair#anything below a 5 is dubious but people think if a game is anything less than a 10 then its a failure#really the biggest hurdle to get over is the fact its a new cast in a new galaxy with a pc that is young and inexperienced#just such a shame that it got dogpiled and memed so hard that we'll probably never get a direct sequel it deserved a 2nd chance#mass effect andromeda get behind me#rant over andromeda deserved better#it speaks#ALSO the 2 player characters were twins thats GOLD and was underutilized i just want the ryders back
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theminecraftbee · 4 months
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i'm still thinking about the fae zedaph prompt so much that i have. an entire au in my head now. that i am now sharing, in case others are interested.
so the setting of the au is an intentionally kind of anachronistic blend of sci-fi and fantasy, and those things often come into conflict, with a lot of magic interacting badly with technology and technology interacting badly with magic. a vaguely earth-like setting from the near future, where there are robots and space travel and cybernetics, but ALSO a vaguely earth-like setting where there are portals you can slip through that will drop you into the feywild and there are magcial creatures lurking beneath the surface. the idea is like, if an urban fantasy had the 'urban' part set in a sci-fi world.
anyway, so zedaph is an ancient fey creature. a wild fey no longer really associated with either court, but at one point having belonged to the seelie court, zedaph mainly just courts chaos. he's PROBABLY some kind of archfey, but it's worth noting that even other fey aren't fully certain what zedaph is supposed to be at this point. see, in a move that makes almost no sense to a human, zedaph has started to get bored of the games of fair folk. he finds them too... predictable! and sure, to HUMANS the fair folk can seem chaotic and without rules, but to zedaph? he wants something NEW AND EXCITING.
too bad that these days, even if he IS invited into the human realm, it is a bit dangerous to navigate for a fey such as himself. his own deep connection to nature and the natural world makes it so he has some trouble when he's in the tall metal cities of the human realm.
enter: tango.
tango is an android built for... some purpose. he's not really sure what his purpose is, or if he still has one, which is kind of distressing, because his creator either died or abandoned him before tango was turned on. he likes building zany contraptions, sure, but he also sort of wants to search for SOME kind of meaning in his life, since androids aren't really built to be purposeless and that lack of purpose is starting to wear at him. and in another setting, this is a great start to a cyberpunk story about what it means to be human, but in THIS setting, tango accidentally proves he must be developing a soul when he stumbles through a portal to the feywild by accident and fails to find his own way out.
the good news for tango is also the bad news: he's not built for a natural place like the feywild. see, his creator had made him largely out of cold iron, and that, even more than any specific technology, repels fair folk magic. so the good news is that he is largely immune to fey shenanigans! the bad news is that the feywild itself is rejecting him, putting him in immense danger.
enter: zedaph, who is FASCINATED to discover that these days the humans are making machines with souls. zedaph, eager to discover something new, makes a bargain with tango: tango guides him in the human world so zedaph doesn't die of metal poisoning, and in return, zedaph guides tango whenever he stumbles into a dangerous supernatural hotspot. look, zedaph's even making a fair deal and everything, since he can't just like, steal tango's name and force him to, on account of not even tango knowing what his true name would be! the two of them shake on it, and as such, a bargain is struck between both android and archfey.
they both find each other surreal and baffling but are ALSO each other's best friends in an equally baffling and surreal world.
impulse comes into this story later--after whatever the first few adventures tango and zedaph have are, exploring both realms together to try to find something new and exciting for zedaph and something to give tango purpose, the amount of magic tango's being exposed to finally takes its toll, and tango starts to malfunction. zedaph panics as he realizes all at once that he has a friend (thing he didn't know he even could get?) and that friend is in danger. also, uh, more importantly that deal. right. that.
naturally, he then kidnaps the first software engineer he can find. this is a proportionate response, right?
luckily the first software engineer he finds is impulse, and impulse is hardly like, normal, either. like, yes, he's a fully mundane human with only the world's most minor cybernetics, he's normal that way, the way he's not normal is that he gets kidnapped by a terrifying and awesome fey to fix a paradoxical android and goes "this is so cool. hi my name is impulse it's nice to meet you! aw, geez," and acts like everything is normal. neither tango nor zedaph are quite good enough at the idea of 'normal human' to dispute this, and a friendship is then born.
impulse serves as the fixer for a lot of their problems that neither tango nor zedaph are equipped to handle, but he's also like, he'd theoretically be the everyman if he wasn't busy going "every man gets whisked away by the plot of a philosophy major's dream every once and a while right" and going with the flow on things NO SANE PERSON SHOULD GO WITH THE FLOW WITH. he's just chilling in the world's least "just chilling" scenario.
so... there you go there's the ENTIRE TEAM ZIT AU that my brain spawned from the prompt "fey zedaph" i hope you enjoy,
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annabelinlove · 2 months
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No Games
Pairing: Wolfstar x reader (Sirius Black x Reader, Remus Lupin x Reader)
Summary: You were injured by some Slytherins and the boys worry for you.
Word Count: 5.9k
Warnings: angst, description of violence, language, Snape is a dick, English isn’t my first language, Peter doesn’t exist in this, lmk if I missed any
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Being a muggle born never really bothered you. You loved your parents, and you were glad for the childhood you had. They were really surprised when you had gotten your letter but were supportive nevertheless. They didn’t understand your new world and even though they were happy for you, they never cared to learn more about it. Part of you was bothered about it, because living in two different worlds, yet still trying to communicate, was hard. You drifted apart and whenever you visited during the breaks, they never wanted to hear about your school year or the magical world. It was usually awkward and uncomfortable, but you still loved them dearly and knew they loved you. You weren’t ashamed of your parents and defended them any chance you got.
Your first year was pretty hard. Not only were you getting used to this whole new world you were suddenly thrown into, but you’ve also learned the hard way, that being a muggle born was viewed as a bad thing. Being called worthless, stain on the wizarding world and mudblood were suddenly a daily occurrence. Thankfully, being sorted into Gryffindor led you to meet some amazing people and become best friends with Lily Evans. You tried to get through it together and it was suddenly much easier to have someone who understood you. You’ve befriended the Marauders as well and since the start of the second year, you were inseparable. Lily had some apprehension at the beginning, since James Potter was an ‘arrogant toerag’ in her words, but you’ve helped her realize, that there was much more then mischief in the boys. It didn’t take long for you to develop feelings for two of the troublemakers. There was just something about Sirius Black and Remus Lupin that made you fall, and you fell hard. You still remembered the conversation with Lily, where you revealed your feeling by accident. It was soon after Sirius and Remus started dating.
“I don’t get how the two of them could be together! Don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy for them and I hope they’ll be happy but they’re just... they’re so different!” Lily told you drunkenly at one of the famous Gryffindor parties, looking at the couple snogging in the middle of the made-up dance floor.
“And that’s the beauty of it, you know? When Sirius is hotheaded, Remus is there to calm him down and where Remus is reserved, Sirius helps him get out of his shelf. They’re two sides of the same coin,” you defended them fiercely. Seeing them like that made you so happy, but the darker side of you was jealous, wishing you could be part of it.
“I kinda wish a coin had three sides, you know? Can you imagine how amazing that would be?” You said without thinking, gaze fixed on the two boys. Lily shot you a confused look.
“A coin with three sides? How would that even look? And what kind of shape would it have to have? Why would you want a three-sided coin?” Her confusion was not only in her eyes, but you could also detect it in her voice as well. You just rolled your eyes at her oblivion.
“I don’t want a three-sided coin Lily, I wanna be part of their relationship. How you’re on top of every class, I have no idea.”
The memory always made you smile. And your wish came true. Not long after your conversation with Lily, even though it felt like years for you, you became a part of the relationship. It was quite complicated at the beginning, you were no stranger to dating, but dating not only two boys but two Golden boys of Hogwarts was no easy task. But you’ve happily settled and after some long conversations, when you all tried to figure out, you were as happy as you could ever be.
Your sixth year was however when things turned complicated once again. The war raging outside the walls of the castle was taking a tool on you. You were constantly worried about the safety of your family as well as your own. It was no secret that you had muggle parents, which made you a target at the school as well. Every time you saw some Slytherins, mostly Snape with Malfoy and Mulciber, you were called names and even hexed multiple times. But it wasn’t only you, every muggle born was treated like that, which didn’t make it better, yet it seemed like you were the biggest target, wether it was because of your connection and close friendship with the Marauders, the constant pranks you pulled on them or the fact, that you always fought back and never let them get away with it. You had many serious talks with Lily about this topic. She tried to tell you to take it easy and ignore them like she did, and they’d get bored of it soon. You never had the heart to tell her, that the reason the boys didn’t target her as much was because Severus still had feelings for her, even after their falling-out, and threatened other Slytherins to take it easy on her.
“Why did you do that?” Lily asked you as you laid on your bed with a pack of ice on your face that still stung from the hex they threw at you.
“You mean why did I turned them into snakes? Because that’s what they fucking are Lily. I can’t juste let them call me names and walk away. Plus, they started it,” you said tiredly, the headache making you nauseous.
“But you could! If you had just ignored them, you wouldn’t have been hurt and in detention” she tried once again “that’s what I do, just walk away. So what if the call us mudbloods, its not like its harmful anymore.”
“But its not about the name calling. They’re fucking death eaters and acting like they’re better than us, but they’re not! It’s about the principle. You can’t do something bad and not get punished for it.” The conversation was almost identical to the one you’ve had many times in the past.
“Well, at least you’ve answered your question why you have to go to detention for the following week,” Lily sighed and went to change you ice pack.
The boys tried their best to protect you, they always made sure that at least one of them was with you. Wether it was in library with Remus, quidditch with James, the kitchen with Sirius or at least one of them walking you to every class and the Great Hall. They never talked to you about it, but you knew what they were doing, and the thoughtfulness warmed your heart. But they couldn’t be with you every second of the day no matter how much you wanted them to or how much they tried. That’s how you found yourself walking to your common room late at night after another detention with McGonagall.
“I’m sorry, you did what?!” Remus shrieked, staring at you in disbelief.
“I set Snivellus on fire. I mean, just his robes,” you mumbled sheepishly. Your boyfriends stared at you with mixed amazement and incredulity. James bursted into laughter.
“How come we never thought of that?” He said between laughter.
“Pff, don’t encourage her Prongs or she’ll think it was a good idea and will do something analogously stupid.” Your scarred boyfriend scoffed, but the corner of his mouth twitching.
“And what was I supposed to do? Let him torture the poor second year and just walk away?” You tried to defend your actions, slowly getting worked up.
“That’s not what he meant, pet. We just want you to be careful. Moony means well, he’s scared, just like the rest of us. They’re getting bolder and bolder. We’re proud of you for defending the kid, aren’t we, Moons?” Sirius finally joined the conversation, trying to calm you all down. He pulled you into his arms, kissing your head. Remus sighed and took your face into his hands, looking deeply into your eyes.
“Of course I’m proud, you're our brave girl, darling. Just don’t wanna see you hurt.” And with those words he kissed you deeply.
Walking down the dark and empty corridor, you tried not to think about the sickening smell you’ve been inhaling for the least couple of hours. Professor McGonagall made you wash one of the dirty bathrooms without magic as your punishment. You were disgusted with the Hogwarts students and the mess they could make. So lost in your own head, you didn’t even hear the steps of people behind you. Not until it was too late anyway.
“Well, well, well, who do we have here?” Said the voice behind you that belonged to no other then Severus Snape. Before you could even pull out your wand, it flew out of your hands with a simple Expelliarmus from Mulciber, whom you just noticed standing behind Snape.
“I’m not in a mood for your games Snivellus,” you snapped at him, already tired from the day you had.
“Oh, trust me, this is no game,” he threatened, smiling at you maliciously. You wanted to punch him so hard.
“What are you even doing here, aren’t you supposed to be at the infirmary? Those burns looked pretty nasty earlier.” His smile disappeared and something much more dangerous appeaed on his face.
“You’re gonna pay for that, you stupid bitch,” he sneered at you. Your fight or flight instincts kicked in and you moved to him with the intention to rip his head off his body. But before you could take more than few steps, he hit you with a Petrificus Totalus spell. You tried to mask your panic when you realized you could possibly be in an immense danger without your wand and the ability to move with two deatheaters, who loathed you. The grin Snape and Mulciber gave you was a sign of how much of a shit job you did to hide your emotions.
“Not so brave now, are you, mudblood?” Mulciber gave you a sickening smirk. You could see nothing but madness in his eyes. They started to circle around you, eyeing you like predators wanting to hurt their prey. You watched them carefully, waiting for their next move.
“Not in a mood for games, did you say? What a shame because I’m ready to play,” said Mulciber before casting a Flipendo and suddenly, you were upside down, your head hitting the floor. You wanted to do something, protect yourself, scream for help, but you were powerless, unable to do any of the things you wanted to.
“I feel like it’d be much more fun if she didn’t see us, don’t you agree?” He asked Severus who chuckled and nodded.
“For once, I must agree with you. Obscurs!” And all of a sudden you were blindfold, your panic rising. You had no idea what they had planned for you, but were sure it was nothing pleasant. Everything went pretty hazy after they hit you with the Confundus charm. The two deatheaters were taking turns hexing you. They made you slowly bleed and ache, but they haven’t done anything terrible to really harm you, which somehow made you even more nervous. They were slowly becoming more and more harmful with their hexes, causing you more pain. Until they grew bored of the wand work. You were thrown on the floor, all spells lifted from you, and you thought it was finally over before you were harshly kicked into the stomach. You could hear them laughing as they continued to hit you and kick you around the cold floor. They’ve caused you more then enough harm. You were bleeding from various places and was more than sure that you had a few broken bones as well as a concussion from them throwing you around like a ragdoll. Your foggy brain couldn’t comprehend all that was happening. Both of them suddenly stopped and quietned down as you tried to crawl away from them. The silence was broken with a shout.
“Crucio!” Yelled one of the boys. You couldn’t care less which one, as you were hit with an immense pain. You were on the floor, whirling in pain. You trashed on the ground, somehow in hopes off gettin rid of the pain, but all in vain. You tried to let out a scream, but you weren’t sure if you did because you couldn’t hear anything but their laughter. The curse was lifted and you sucked a breath of air into your lungs, or at least you tried to. You didn’t have time to even move before they’ve casted the curse again. And again and again. You felt like your insides were being twisted and ripped out of you. At that point, you just wanted them to kill you. You didn’t know how much time has passed, before Snape leaned over you.
“You’ll learn where your place is. You don’t deserve to breathe the same air as we do, mugblood. Let this be your lesson. Hopefully one you’ll remember until your pathetic life ends. Which may not be that long, now that I think about it.” You didn’t even notice that the curse wasn’t on you anymore. You couldn’t move, couldn’t see, couldn’t do anything then whisper a pathetic please, hoping your suffering would end soon. He just smirked at you and looked like he wanted to say something else, but Mulciber beat him to it, shouting Crucio once again. There was nothing you could do than just to take it while begging them to stop. You were slipping into unconsciousness, the pain being too much. You couldn’t even tell the difference between being under the curse and not because all you could feel was agony. You thought you heard someone shouting, but it may have just been a hallucination. Opening your eyes, you could make out a silhouette of someone else coming and you were praying to Merlin it wasn’t Malfoy wanting to join in on all the ‘fun’. To your surprise you saw, or at least thought you did, Snape and Mulciber running away, but not before the last curse Snape sent your way. Sectumsempra were the last words of Severus Snape, before he took of, disappearing in the darkness. You realized; you didn’t know pain until now. Your body was on fire and instead of drawing in a breath, you coughed out blood.
“Hey, hey, can you hear me?” Somebody was leaning over you, but you couldn’t make out who it was.
“It’s okay now, please just try to breathe. You’re safe, you’re safe.” Those were the last words before the darkness took over you.
“Lay her here, carefully! And quickly, sent for Dumbledore!”
“I don’t know what to do, I’ve never dealt with something like this.”
“Just hold on, it’s gonna be okay.”
“What the fuck happened?!” “You can’t be here right now, mister Black.”
“This is gonna hurt, dear. I’m so sorry.”
“You’re safe now, my love. I’m never gonna let anything like that happen to you. I swear on my life.”
“What the hell do you mean, they’re not gonna be punished?!” “We are not discussing this topic with you, mister Lupin.” “They can’t just walk away, have you seen what they’ve done to her? She’s fucking dying!” “Enough Remus, please.”
“Please, wake up. I know it’s selfish of me to ask this, considering everything that happened, but please, I really need you to wake up.”
You kept slipping in an out of consciousness, hearing bits and peaces of the conversations happening around you, but the darkness has always won and took you under.
The first thing you felt was something wet on your hand. You tried to open your eyes, but even such easy task seemed like something impossible. You tried to move, but it was like you were under the binding curse all over again. After much effort, you were able to open your eyes very slowly. The bright light made you blink a couple of times, but you were able to recognize your surroundings. The hospital wing. You wanted to sit up, but the pain suddenly consumed you like a tsunami, and a groan tore itself out of your throat.
“You’re awake!” Said a quiet voice. Your eyes met Lily’s beautiful green ones. Tears rolled down her cheeks and the realization that you’ve felt her tears on your hand hit you. You tried to open your mouth to say something, but your throat felt like sandpaper and nothing came out.
“Shh, don’t say anything, its okay. Here, try to drink some water instead.” She handed you a cool glass of water, but you were unable to sit up and drink. When she noticed, more tears welled up in her eyes and she softly squeezed your hand and with the words, that she’ll be back soon left you alone and disappeared behind the white curtains around your bed. You didn’t know how much time passed with you just looking at the ceiling, but Madam Pomfrey was suddenly by your side with some other woman in white.
“This is nurse Bimley, we’re just gonna do a quick check, okay?” She asked and both her and the nurse started to examine you and move you around. They asked you some questions, but you didn’t really pay attention, your mind tired to function properly. With their hands on you and calming words, you fell into the darkness.
Opening you eyes the second time was easier and even adjusting to the light was quicker. You found yourself half sitting, half laying on the hospital bed. Did they move you again? How long has it been since I last woke up? Why am I even here?
“Hey.” Whispered a voice beside you, interrupting your train of thoughts. You looked at the boy sitting on a very uncomfortable looking chair next to your bed. You’d recognize his stormy eyes everywhere, but the ever-present spark in them seemed to disappear, worry replacing it. Your hand was squeezed and you looked on your other side, seeing a scarred hand placed in yours. You felt somewhat calmer knowing that your boyfriends were with you.
“Here, drink this.” Remus lifted a glass of some murky liquid to your mouth waited patiently for you to drink the whole thing and you did even though it tasted like shit. He placed the, now empty, glass on the table, avoiding eye contact the whole time, contrary to your other boyfriend. You were all quiet for a while, just studying each other before Sirius broke the silence.
“How are you feeling, love?” You wanted to answer, but instead of words, you started to cough. To your horror you’ve realized droplets of blood came out of your throat, and Sirius was quick to hold a small bucket near your mouth.
“Shh, its okay darling. Just let it out. It’s okay.” Remus tried to soothe you, suddenly standing next to you. He looked like he wanted to place his hand on your back, but for a reason unknown to you, he decided against it. After your coughing fit, you closed your eyes and tried to properly breathe, which suddenly seemed like almost impossible task. When you calmed down a bit and looked up, you saw Sirius’s eyes pooling with unshed tears. He tried to smile at you reassuringly, but it felt fake.
“We should get madame Pomfrey,” Remus murmured, the words aimed to Sirius who slowly nodded, but before any of them could move, you croaked barely audible no. Your voice sounded like nails on chalkboard, and you cringed before starting to cough again. Sirius held up the bucket again while Remus spoke.
“Okay, okay. We won’t call anyone just yet. Just try to breathe for us darling.” And you did what he told you. He sat on the chair again. After you stopped coughing, you tried to speak once again.
“What..” but before you could finish your sentence, Sirius gently shushed you. “Don’t speak, my love. You need to rest and talking just makes it worse.” You nodded at his words, resting your head on the pillow behind you.
“Do you remember what happened, angel?” Remus asked you carefully to which you just shook your head. You didn’t remember anything; you mind still not working properly. The only thing you knew was that you were in terrible pain. Remus sighed before continuing.
“You were attacked darling. When you were walking from detention, some Slytherin cornered you and..” his voice broke, not being able to finish his sentence. Thankfully, Sirius took over.
“They did horrible, horrible things to you, angel. They didn’t tell us exactly what happened, but it almost killed you.” His voice was barely above a whisper at the end, a single tear rolling down his cheek. It almost killed you kept on replaying in your head over and over again as you started to remember bits and pieces. Their laughter, their hexes and curses, the pain. You didn’t even realize you started shaking before Sirius gently laid his hand on your cheek.
“Hey, hey, baby listen to me, you’re safe now. It’s over and you’re safe, do you hear me? We’re never gonna let anything like that happen to you again, okay? You’re safe with us. I promise.” He tried to calm you but you didn’t register his words as you kept on remembering everything. It felt like you were in a trance, not being able to do anything beside cry and shake, ugly sobs tearing out of your throat. You didn’t even realize that Remus quickly left your side to get Poppy to help you. To you, she appeared out of nowhere, suddenly by your side.
“I told you to get me when she wakes up, mainly to prevent something like this from happening. Now leave us alone and get professor McGonagall.” Both of your boyfriends left rather quickly without a word but sending you a sorry look. You really didn’t want them to leave but were unable to voice you thoughts through the sobbing. The sweet nurse got you to calm down after a while of sweet talk and reassurance that you were safe.
“Let me check the injuries, okay?” She asked but already started to take off your hospital robe that you didn’t even notice you were wearing. Underneath your whole body was bandaged, some of the bandages red from the blood seeping through them, you could see black and blue bruises where your skin was showing and you felt like you were going to be sick. Madam Pomfrey, thankfully, saw that coming and quickly brought a bucket to your mouth, the same that Sirius gave you earlier, and you puked your guts out, all that while she whispered calming words to you. When you were done, you closed your eyes and let the nurse rewrap your wounds after rubbing some ointment on them. The second she was done, professor McGonagall came into sight with Dumbledore on her heels, it was like they scented they could come.
“Good evening miss Y/S. How are you feeling?” He asked you politely, his eyes searching yours. You shrugged your shoulders, not trusting yourself to talk just yet.
“Do you remember what happened?” He asked you again to which you just nodded your head, avoiding eye contact with anyone.
“I know its hard, but would you be able to tell us what happened?” You dreaded this question, but took a deep breath before finally answering verbally. You vaguely told them the events of that night. I don’t even know how long I was asleep ran through your head, but you pushed it aside and continued talking. About how they cornered you, taking your want and hexing you. How they grew tired of it after a while and decided to beat you up. How they used one of the Unforgivables on you before someone came to your rescue. How they ran but not before sending some unknown spell in your way. By the end, you were silently crying once again.
“Thank you, dear. You should rest now. Don’t worry about anything else. I’ll come and talk to you when you feel better.” Professor McGonagall thanked you and you heard in her voice how sorry she felt for you. You sent a smile her way, or at least tried to, before they left you again.
“You should really rest now. I’ve put some sleeping and calming draught next to your bed, if you want it.” Madame Pomfrey decided and went to leave you alone before you stopped her.
“May I speak to Remus and Sirius please?” You pleaded with her before adding “it’d make me feel much more at ease.” To which the nurse nodded before disappearing behind the curtain, hopefully snatching the boys. And soon enough, Remus’s head poked from behind the curtain, smiling at you soflty.
“Hi there, darling. James and Lily are here to see you, if you feel like it. If not, that’s completely okay and they understand. Anything to make you comfortable.” You smiled at his thoughtfulness, and you considered it for a second. You didn’t want your friends to see you in such state but you knew that seeing them would make you feel better so you nodded. Soon enough, around your bed were the four most important people of your life. You gently smiled at them, feeling calmer already. Remus carefully sat on your bed, Sirius in the chair next to him with Lily in the chair and James standing next to her on your other side.
“Hi.” you said timidly. Lily almost started to cry when she heard your voice and James laid a protective hand or her shoulder, smiling gently at you.
“Hello there, sunshine.” He responded just as gently.
“Are you feeling any better?” Remus asked you carefully, not wanting to make you cry again or overall worsen your state. You didn’t know whether to say yes or no so you just shrugged.
“I’m so glad you’re okay. We were all so worried.” Lily whispered, looking deep into your eyes. A flashback of her crying when you woke up suddenly popped up in your mind.
“You were here, before I mean.” You realized, looking at her.
“We were all here at some point. You kept on waking up and falling asleep the whole time you were here.” She looked like she wanted to add something, but her quiet sobs prevented it.
“Yeah, you’ve been here for two days. We sneaked in whenever we could. Sometimes you woke up and started babbling some nonsense, sometimes you just screamed. Do you remember any of that?” James added and that’s when you noticed the dark circles under all of their eyes. You felt bad for making them so worried.
“No. I mean, I remember some of it, but it’s all blurry. I remember some other woman tho, I think she was a nurse.” You tried to fish for your memories, but nothing else came to the surface.
“That was nurse Bimley, she came from St. Mungo’s after Dumbledore sent for someone to help you.” Lily explained, now more composed, but it left you even more confused.
“Why? What happened?” You decided to ask, wanting to hear their side of the story. They all looked at each other in apprehension, apart from Sirius, who was uncharacteristically quiet and avoiding eye contact, before Remus decided to put you out of your misery and explain.
“When you didn’t come from your detention, we started to worry. The more time passed, the more terrified we were. James tried to look for the map, but we’ve put it somewhere and none of us were able to find it. We kept on telling ourselves that you were fine, and that Minnie was just making you work extra hard, so we didn’t go to search for you. Something that I’ll never forgive myself for and I’m terribly sorry for it, love.” He took your hand into his and softly squeezed before continuing. “Then some Gryffindor prefect bursted into the command room, ordering everyone to go to bed, that there was an attack on a student, and we weren’t to leave our dorms. I felt my soul leave my body at his words, I swear. We didn’t even take the cloak, we just ran straight to the infirmary. There, we saw...” but before he could continue, Sirius interrupted him, his eyes unfocused as if he was remembering the night.
“It was Reggie. He found you and took you straight to Madam Pomfrey. He saved your life. We found him sitting on the floor, looking like he might pass out or puke. When he spotted us, he quickly started to explain how he didn’t have anything to do with it, how he wasn’t part of it and just tried to help you. I was so confused at that minute but when I saw the look on his face… I just knew that something horrible must have happened to you.” He exhaled, still not looking at you. It was Regulus who helped you. Regulus saved your life. You were tremendously grateful for Sirius’s little brother. Sirius took a deep breath.
“After he calmed down, he explained what happened. Told us that he was just wandering around when he heard screaming, so he went to see what was going on. He found you on the floor with Snape and Mulciber above you with wands in their hands. Doesn’t take a genius to know what was going on. He went to you aid, yelling at them to leave you alone. Before he could make it to your side, they ran away, but Snivellus casted some weird curse at the very last moment. We don’t know what it was but..” he choked on his words, not being able to continued. You could feel the anxiety from remembering that night rolling off of him. James decided to add to his speech.
“It slashed up your whole body.” He said before Remus send a dark and disapproving look his was which shut him up pretty quickly. Thank Merlin for Lily who decided to carry on explaining before the two of them started fighting.
“The curse made numerous of gashes appear on your body, they were all so deep and you were slowly, but surely bleeding out. If Regulus hadn’t brought you to the infirmary so quickly, you’d bleed to death.” She said quietly, not looking into your eyes.
“We heard Poppy screaming at Dumbledore to sent for help, that she wouldn’t be able to safe you by herself. Then he and McGonagall came out of the door and saw us. I don’t think they were even surprised to see us there. Dumbledore left without saying a word, surely to sent for someone from St. Mungo’s, while Minnie stayed behind. She was crying but tried to look strong for us. Told us that you were hurt really badly, but that they were going to help you. Then she made us all leave with a promise that we would be updated as soon as she knew something. She walked us all back to our dorms, even Regulus, to make sure that we wouldn’t try to stay. But once inside the common room, we just snatched the cloak and decided that one of us would always be by your side and we were until you woke up. And now we’re here.” Remus ended the story and a long pause followed. You tried to compose your thoughts but it all seemed too much for you. So I did scream. Your head started to hurt and you were just so fucking exhausted from everything.
“We’re gonna let you rest now, Merlin knows you need it. We’ll be back tomorrow, I promise. I hope you’ll feel better, sunshine.” James broke the silence first and he gently kissed your forehead.
“Thank you, Jamie. For everything. You too, Lils. Please, try to get some proper sleep as well, okay?” You pleaded with them and softly.
“Only you would worry about us getting some sleep while laying in a hospital bed.” Lily shook her head but laughed a little bit and you smiled at them as James took Lily’s hands and they both left, leaving you with your boys.
“I’m so fucking incredibly sorry, my love. We promised you that we wouldn’t let anything happen to you and look where we are now. I’m so so so sorry.” Remus whispered, ashamed of himself.
“We won’t let anything like that happen to you again. I swear on my life. We failed you once, but it’ll never happen again, okay? I’d rather die than seeing you like this again. I’m so sorry, my darling.” Sirius apologized as well and your hear hurt for them.
“This wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t have done anything. I don’t blame you and never will. Please, don’t blame yourself either. I’ll be okay.” You tried to reassure them, wishing they wouldn’t be so hard on themselves.
“But it is out fault. We should’ve protect you but instead left you alone to your misery.” Sirius kept on beating himself but you were quick to stop him.
“Please, don’t. You can’t be with me every second and that’s okay. You’re here now and that’s what matters.” Remus looked like he wanted to say something as well, but you stopped him. “Let’s talk some more tomorrow. I’m exhausted and in pain and I just want to sleep. I’m here and I’m alive, that’s what matters.”
“Of course, of course. We’re gonna leave you to rest. Merlin knows you need it. We’ll come back tomorrow.” Remus said as he started to stand up, but you quickly shot your hand to stop him, the quick move making your whole body ache again and you let out a groan. Sirius quickly brought the draughts that Pomfrey left for you to drink and you happily did so while smiling at him in thankfulness.
“Please stay, I don’t wan to be alone.” You whisper shyly when you’ve set the potion down, still holding Remus’s hand. He smiled at you gently but looked unsure.
“Are you sure? You need to get some sleep and we don’t wanna bother you or make you uncomfortable.” He made sure to know you’re comfortable.
“You could never make me uncomfortable. Please, I really need you right now.” You assured him and pleaded with both of them to which Remus nodded and performed a spell to make your bed bigger so all three of you would fit and have space.
“Oh, thank Merlin. I don’t think I’d be able to leave you alone tonight.” Sirius sighed as he laid next to you, very careful not to hurt you. You smiled at his words and turned to him.
“Have you talked to Regulus?” You whispered to him while Remus drew the curtain shut and went to lay on your other side.
“Yeah, sent him a message thanking him and telling him you were okay. He asked if he could see you.” He whispered back to you and gently put his arm under your head, to pull you just a bit closer.
“I’d like that. I wanna thank him myself.”
“I’ll let him know tomorrow. Wanna talk to him myself. But now sleep and don’t worry about a thing okay?” He kissed your head just as Remus lied on your other side and took you into his arms slowly, waiting for a sign of discomfort from you but when you didn’t show any, she kissed your head as well before whispering.
“Sleep now, my darling angel. We’ll be here when you wake up and then every second for the rest of our lives.”
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flowersandbigteeth · 1 year
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Can you do a werewolf x bunny female, I think that would be so cute, like this big scary looking werewolf with a innocent bunny girl, adorable! Sfw or nsfw I think it would be super cute
I had this idea rolling around in my head for a while, but it works so well with a werewolf and a bunny I couldn't resist ^_^
General Plot: You are the nanny for a wolf king and he wants to try some of your development techniques.
Wolf King x bunny female reader
Word Count: 2k
💕 SFW MASTERPOST 💕
W: sfw yandere monster fluff, hunting and chasing, cute werewolf pup
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“Rawr! I’m the big, bad wolf!” Joel growled, baring his little fangs at his terrified prize. 
“Put that mouse down, prince Joel,” you chided, following the precocious little wolf pup through the garden. 
“No! I’m a vicious predator! I don’t have to listen to herbivores!” he snarled at you, shaking the mouse in his little fist. 
You sighed. His tutor had taught him all about predators and herbivores that morning, so he was an expert or so he thought. 
“Yes, carnivores are very important, your majesty, but your father put me in charge of you and he is the biggest predator around,” you pointed out, “do I have to tell him you wouldn’t listen to your nanny?”  
He stiffened at the mention of his father and dropped the mouse, who scampered away. 
“I don’t need a nanny!” he pouted at you. 
You put your hands on your hips and pouted back. 
“Fine! Then I’ll just go play hunter with some other little wolf pup who appreciates me!” you said, turning to walk away. 
A tug at your skirt told you that you’d won. 
“You don’t have another pup do you?” he asked from behind you. 
You turned and looked down at him. 
“There are lots of wolf pups in the village who would love a nanny willing to play with them,” you said. 
He wrapped his arms around your leg and squeezed his eyes shut. 
“No! You’re mine (Y/N)!” he shouted, “I’m the prince and I won’t allow it!” 
“Calm down prince Joel,” you said, scratching him between his ears, “I’m not going anywhere right now, but you have to be good so we can play!” 
He nodded, excited. 
“Okay!” he said, “you go hide and I’ll hunt you!” 
You glanced around the royal garden to make sure the guards were all at their stations before you agreed to let him out of your sight for a moment. 
“Okay,” you said, “count to twenty! I’m just a bunny, you have to give me a fair chance!”
He nodded eagerly while he covered his eyes. 
You scurried to the small patch of trees at the far side of the garden and ducked behind some branches. He would find you quickly, he had a very good nose, but he never seemed to get tired of chasing after you.  
You were so busy peeking around the branches to watch for Joel, you didn’t notice the shadow looming over you. Your hearing as a bunny was very good, but you didn’t hear the branch snap until it was too late. Gasping, you tried to fight as a heavy hand wrapped around your mouth. Immediately you looked around frantically for Joel. This was likely an assassination attempt. It made sense to take out the nanny first. 
“(Y/N), why are you hiding from my son?” a low rumbling voice growled in your ear. 
You squealed on instinct in the presence of a predator, your heart pounding in your chest. His hand loosened on your lips. 
“We’re playing a game, your majesty,” you said, swallowing heavily and gasping for breath, “h-he’s hunting me.” 
Upsetting the king meant certain death. Herbivores weren’t regarded very highly, you were considered disposable servants at best. His heavy breath brushed your long ear, making it twitch. 
“You wish to be…hunted?” he asked, husky voice husky and full of gravel. 
You blinked, your cheeks flooding with color. 
“It’s just a game, your majesty, for children. Joel likes it and it is good for his skill development,” you explained quietly, aware of the heat of his body at your back. One hand was clutching your waist, the claws of his fingers digging into the cotton fabric of your dress, while the bands of muscle in his arm held you close.  
“You will let me hunt you…tonight. Meet me here at 9,” he rumbled in your ear and then he was gone. 
You collapsed into the grass, a cold sweat on your chest. 
“Gotcha!” Joel shouted, pouncing on you and you screamed louder than you’d ever screamed in your life. 
—-
You trembled as you approached the garden a few minutes before nine. Surely you were walking to your death. If you’d been more creative you’d have fled, but you didn’t have any ideas for what to do for money, food, or even passage out of the capital. So you faced your end bravely, hoping it would be quick. 
Before you’d put prince Joel to bed, you’d given him an extra long hug in case you didn’t come back. You hoped he would remember you fondly when he became king and maybe he would be kinder to the herbivores than his father. 
The garden was dark, with only the torches of the castle flickering at the far edges and as you walked deeper and deeper the sounds of the building got further and further away. The beating of your heart in your chest filled the silence. 
“Y-your majesty?” you murmured to the quiet garden, but there was no reply. 
Padding over to the trees where you’d been before, you looked around, wondering if he was going to be late. He was the king, after all, he never had to be on time. You hoped against all hope that he’d forgotten entirely. 
You howled as a hot breath in your ear growled, “RUN!” 
As a bunny you were very fast and you instinctively took off immediately, heading for the farthest side of the garden that touched the forest. Perhaps if you could make it there, you would survive. Your powerful legs sent you launching over planters and darting around a fountain, but it was no use. 
You could hear the scrape of the king’s claws on the concrete as he scrambled over a statue after you. If this went on for much longer you’d die of a heart attack before he got a chance to rip you to pieces. 
Just beyond the palace wall you caught sight of a hole, your frantic mind instinctively favoring a place to hide over a tiring chase. Diving towards the gap, you wiggled your body through it panicking as thick hands latched onto your ankles. You squealed and kicked, but he was much too strong now that he’d gotten you. Your nails collected dirt as he dragged you back towards him. 
He flipped you over, straddling you with his big body and your eyes widened, wondering if the last thing you would see would be the moonlight sparkling off of his silver fur. His eyes, deep black, were shadowed in darkness and the most you could see of his face were his massive, sharp teeth dripping saliva. This was it. You were going to die. 
“Caught you,” he said, panting clouds in the cool night air and grinning. 
Your heart beat faster than you thought it could and the world went black. 
“Papa, is (Y/N) dead?” you heard Joel ask and you felt something warm shift beside you. A little claw tapped your nose.
“I’ve already told you seven times! She’s not dead. She’s sleeping. Get away from there!” the King’s deep voice grumbled. 
Your eyes popped open and without thinking you scurried as far away from it as possible, crouching in a ball at the far corner of the bed you were in. Your eyes flying around the room, you realized you were in the King’s bedroom, in his bed. 
“(Y/N)!” Joel beamed and his tiny furry body collided with yours knocking you over. 
With wide eyes you looked up at him. 
“Daddy said you were being naughty and playing in the garden at night and that’s why you fell asleep! You said I’m not allowed to play in the garden at night! Do I get to punish you? You get no pudding for a week, you have to give it all to me…no a month!” 
Thankful and surprised to be alive, you threw your arms around your little charge and squeezed him to your chest, tears tumbling down your cheeks. 
“Come on (Y/N)!” Joel pouted, pushing you off of him, “if you're gonna be a crybaby about it I’ll make it half a week, okay?” 
You heard the King sigh. 
“Can you please go fetch (Y/N) some juice from the kitchen and the doctor, Joel? Take your guardian knight…” he said. 
You blinked at him. He wasn’t dressed as he usually was in shining gold armor that only made him look larger, instead, there was no shirt on his firm chest and he was just wearing some loose pants. You’d never seen him informally, even as often as you were in the personal rooms of the royal family, and your cheeks pinkened. 
He came and sank into the bed next to you and you scooted so far away you slipped off of the edge of the bed with a squeal. 
“Oh for goddess’ sake, (Y/N)!” he grumbled, pulling you up from the floor with his big hands and plopping you in his lap. 
He gave you a bit of a gentle look and brushed a damp lock of hair out of your eyes. 
“I don’t think this hunting game is good for your health, love,” he said, running the back of his knuckle over your cheek, “you looked like death had come for you and then you passed out!”
Your eyes got wide and your mouth dropped open. 
“Game!?” you gasped, “I thought you were going to eat me?!” 
He laughed out loud.
“Eat you?” he asked, “why would I eat you?” 
He pouted, stroking your ear with his padded fingers. 
“Do you really think I’m a mindless monster?” 
You hurriedly shook your head, not meaning to offend him. He’d spared your life once, he might not do it again. 
“No your majesty,” you stammered, “you simply startled me that’s all. I didn’t realize we were playing a game.” 
He snorted. 
“Well that’s what I told you,” he pointed out. 
You gave him a wan smile and nodded. That was not exactly true, but you weren't going to argue with him. You were sure he thought he'd been clear as a magnifying lens. His fingers were still playing with your ear, stroking the length and gently tugging it this way and that. 
“That you did, your majesty,” you said, trying to slow your heartbeat, racing like a wild horse. 
 “I don’t like to see you frightened, (Y/N),” the king murmured softly. 
His hot breath brushed your head, stirring the threads of your hair. You fit quite neatly just below his chin, much smaller in his lap.
“It pleases me how sweetly you and my son get on,” he said, his big hand curling around your waist and drawing you close to him, “I have to teach him to be regent, I can’t always coddle him…but you give him the gentleness I can’t. It’s quite a comfort to me.” 
“You’re very kind, your majesty,” you said. 
He tipped your face up to his. 
“I’m not. I’m not kind at all,” he said, smiling, “I’m very, very selfish. When I want something I take it.” 
“I’m sorry?” you stammered, confused where this was going. 
“I want you in Joel’s life more permanently. His mother was a monster. I don’t want to see that develop in him. I think you’d make a much better mother.”
“I-I don’t think I understand, your majesty,” you whispered, searching his dark eyes. They were black and endless, difficult to read. 
“I’m making you my wife,” he said plainly. 
“But I’m a herbivore,” you gasped, “I mean…is this a joke, your majesty?” 
He snorted. 
“Half the kingdom are herbivores, don’t you think they’d adore a sweet, pretty bunny queen?” 
You were sure they would, but this all seemed very strange. 
“I guess so…” you said. 
His eyes twinkled. 
“Don’t think of declining,” he warned, flashing his fangs, “no is not an answer I’ll accept. You’re mine (Y/N) and I’ll do what I have to to keep you.” 
Your eyes got big and you nodded slowly. 
“Oh…Okay…” you said. 
“(Y/N)! (Y/N)!” Joel cheered, splashing juice everywhere as he came barrelling into the room. 
The King gave him a fatherly growl and he froze. 
“What did we talk about earlier?” he asked. 
Joel brightened as if he were remembering something he could accomplish correctly. 
“Momma!” he cried, hurrying over to you with the cup of juice. 
You scooped it out of his hand before he tried climbing up on the bed with it. 
“Do you feel better, momma?” he asked, putting his arms around you and his cheek against your shoulder. 
“Um…yes…” you murmured, clutching the cup, pinched between the adoring arms of your new wolf family, “yes, I guess I do...”
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dailyadventureprompts · 3 months
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Dm Tip: Playing the Villain/ Guidelines for "Evil" Campaigns
I've never liked the idea of running an evil game, despite how often I've had people in my inbox asking how I'd go about it. I'm all about that zero-to-hero heroic fantasy not only because I'm a goodie twoshoes IRL but because the narrative-gameplay premise that d&d is built around falls apart if the party is a bunch of killhappy murder hobos. Not only would I get bored narrating such a game and indulging the sort of players who demands the freedom to kill and torture at will (I've had those before and they don't get invited back to my table), but the whole conceit of a party falls through when the obviously villainous player characters face their first real decision point and attempt to kill eachother because cooperation is a thing that goodguys do.
Then I realized I was going about it all wrong.
The problem was I had started out playing d&d with assholes, those "murder and torture" clowns who wanted to play grand-theft-auto in the worlds I'd created and ignore the story in favour of seeing how much unchallenged chaos they could create. They set my expectations for what an evil campaign was, and I spent the rest of my time developing as a dungeonmaster thinking " I Don't want any part of that"
But what would an evil campaign look like for my playgroup of emotionally healthy friends who understand character nuance? What would I need to change about the fundamental conceit of d&d adventures to refocus the game on the badguys while still following a similar enough narrative-gameplay premise to a hero game? How do we make that sort of game relatable? What sort of power/play fantasy can we indulge in without going off the deepend?
TLDR: In an evil campaign your players aren't playing the villains, they're the MINIONS, they're mooks, henchmen, goons, lackeys. They're the disposable underlings of uncaring overseers who have nothing but ill intent towards them and the world at large.
Where as in a hero game the party is given the freedom to challenge and overthrow corrupt systems, in an evil game the party is suck as part of that corrupt system, forced to bend and compromise and sacrifice in order to survive. The fantasy is one of escaping that corrupt system, of biding your time just long enough to find an opening, find the right leverage, then tossing a molitov behind you on the way out.
Fundamentally it's the fantasy of escaping a shitty job by bringing the whole company down and punching your asshole boss in the face for good measure.
Below the cut I'm going to get into more nuance about how to build these kinds of narratives, also feel free to check out my evil party tag for campaigns and adventures that fit with the theme.
Designing a campaign made to be played from the perspective of the badguys requires you to take a different angle on quest and narrative design. It’s not so simple as swapping out the traditionally good team for the traditionally bad team and vis versa, having your party cut through a dungeon filled with against angel worshiping holyfolk in place of demon worshipping cultists etc. 
Instead, the primary villain of the first arc of the campaign should be your party’s boss. Not their direct overseer mind you, more CEO compared to the middle managers your party will be dealing with for the first leg of their journey. We should know a bit about that boss villain’s goals and a few hints at their motivation, enough for the party to understand that their actions are directly contributing to that inevitable doom.
“Gee, everyone knows lord Heldred swore revenge after being banished from the king’s council for dabbling in dark magic. I don’t know WHY he has us searching for these buried ancient tablets, but I bet it’s not good”
Next, you need a manager, someone who’s a part of the evil organization that the party directly interfaces with. The manager should have something over the party, whether it be threats of force, blackmail, economic dependency… anything that keeps the antiheroes on the manager’s leash. Whether you make your manager an obvious asshole or manipulative charmer, its important to maintain this power imbalance:   The party arn’t going to be rewarded when the boss-villain’s plan goes off, the manager is, but the manager’s usefulness to the boss-villain is contingent on the work they’re getting the party to do.  This tension puts us on a collison course to our first big narrative beat: do the party get tired of the manager’s abuse and run away? Do they kill the manager and get the attention of the upper ranks of the villainous organization? Do they work really hard at their jobs despite the obvious warning signs and outlive their usefulness? Do they upstage their manager and end up getting promoted, becoming rivals for the boss-villain’s favor? 
Building this tension up and then seeing how it breaks makes for a great first arc, as it lets your party determine among themselves when enough is enough, and set their goals for what bettering the situation looks like. 
As for designing those adventures, you’ll doubtlessly realize that since the party arn’t playing heroes you’ll need to change how the setup, conflict, and payoff work. They’re still protagonists, we want them to succeed after all, but we want to hammer home that they’re doing bad things without expecting them to jump directly to warcrimes. 
Up to no good: The basic building block of any evil campaign, our party need to do something skullduggerous without alerting the authorities.  This of course is going to be easier said than done, especially when the task spins out of control or proves far more daunting than first expected. The best the party can hope for is to make a distraction and then escape in the chaos, but it will very likely end with them being pursued in some manner (bounties, hunters, vengeful npcs and the like).  Use this setup early in a campaign so you have an external force gunning for your party during the remainder of their adventures. 
Dog eat dog:  It’s sort of cheating to excuse your party’s villainous actions by having them go up against another villain who happens to be worse than they are. The trick is that we’re not going after this secondary group of outlaws because they’re bad, we’re doing it because they’ve either got something the boss wants, or they’re edging in on the boss’s turf.  This sort of plotline sees the party disrupting or taking advantage of a rival’s operation, then taking over that operation and risking becoming just as villainous as that rival happened to be. This can also be combined with an “Up to no good” plot where both groups of miscreants need to step carefully without alerting an outside threat. 
The lesser evil: This kind of plot sees your party sent out to deal with an antagonistic force that’s a threat not only to the boss’s plans but to everyone in general. In doing so they might end up fighting alongside some heroes, or accidentally doing good in the long run. This not only gives your party a taste of heroism, but gives them something in their back pocket that could be used to challenge the boss-villain in the future.  
The double cross: In order to get what they want, the party need to “play along” with a traditional heroic narrative long enough to get their goal and then ditch. You have them play along specifically so they can get a taste of what life would be like if they weren't bastards, as well as to make friends with the NPCs inevitably going to betray. This is to make it hurt when you have the manager yank the leash and force the party to decide between finishing the job , or risk striking out on their own and playing hero in the short term while having just made a long term enemy. This is sort of plot is best used an adventure or two into the campaign, as the party will have already committed some villainous deeds that one good act can’t blot out. 
Next, lets talk about the sort of scenarios you should be looking to avoid when writing an evil campaign:
Around the time I started playing d&d there was this trend of obtusely binary morality systems in videogames which claimed to offer choice but really only existed to let the player chose between the power fantasy of being traditionally virtuous or the power fantasy of being an edgy rebel. Early examples included:
Do you want to steal food from disaster victims? in Infamous
Do you as a space cop assault a reporter who’s being kind of annoying to you? in Mass Effect
Do you blow up an entire town of innocent people for the lols? in Fallout (no seriously check out hbomberguy’s teardowm on fallout 3’s morality system and how critics at the time ate it up)
I think these games, along with the generational backwash of 90s “edge” and 00s “grit” coloured a lot of people's expectations ( including mine) about what a "villain as protagonist" sort of narrative might look like. They're childish exaggerations, devoid of substance, made even worse by how blithely their narratives treat them.
Burn down an inn full of people is not a good quest objective for an evil party, because it forces the characters to reach cartoonish levels of villainy which dissociates them from their players. Force all the villagers into the inn so we can lock them inside and do our job uninterrupted lets the party be bad, but in a way that the players can see the reason behind it and stay synced up with their characters. The latter option also provides a great setup for when the party's actually monstrous overseer sets the inn on fire to get rid of any witnesses after the job is done. Now the party (and their players) are faced with a moral quandary, will they let themselves be accessories to a massacre or risk incurring their manager's wrath? Rather than jumping face first into cackling cruelty, these sorts of quandaries have them dance along the knife's edge between grim practicality and dangerous uncertainly; It brings the player and character closer together.
Finally, lets talk about ending the villain arc:
I don't think you can play a whole evil campaign. Both because the escalation required is narratively unsustainable, but also because the most interesting aspect of playing badguys is the breaking point. Just like heroes inevitably having doubts about whether or not they're doing the right thing, there's only so long that a group of antiheroes can go along KNOWING they're doing the wrong thing before they put their feet down and say "I'm out". I think you plan a evil campaign up until a specific "there's no coming back from this" storybeat, IE letting the Inn burn... whether or not the party allows it to happen, it's the lowest point the narrative will allow them to reach before they either fight back or allow themselves to be subsumed. If they rebel, you play out the rest of the arc dismantling the machine they helped to build, taking joy in its righteous destruction. If they keep going along, show them what they get for being cogs: inevitably betrayed, sacrificed, or used as canon fodder when the real heroes step in to do their jobs for them.
Art
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gatorbites-imagines · 10 months
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Now imagine this...
What if... Reader were miles spouse right? (Male/gn)
And Prowler miles spouse (reader) died right.and when reader and miles met prowler miles, Would they. A. fight over reader. B. prowler would force reader to be with him and C. they share. (WHICH i highly doubt.)
And prowler is a bit of a yandere (if thtas alright)
What do you think? Can you make either a fanfic/headcanon/scenario? If you don't mind of course :))
-🥚anon
Miles Morales and Miles G x Black Cat Male Reader
Headcanons
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Both Miles are aged up in this scenario, giving miles more time to be Spiderman. I hope I got the yandere part right hehe.
I just love Black Cat, so i had too. Let me know if you guys wanna hear about my Kraven Reader or Venom reader ideas ;3c i have so many ideas about the reader being based on spiderman villains.
You were earth 1610s Black Cat. You had grown up side by side with Miles, and as you grew up your body developed the meta-gene, causing you to gain the ability to affect probability fields to others. Aka, you are able to give people bad luck.
You didn’t quite like using your powers too much, and one of the few people who knew about it was Miles. You couldn’t help but use it on bad people though, like bullies or abusers.
You hadn’t always been Black Cat, but after your parents had a horrible divorce and you were abandoned with your mother with your father leaving with all the family’s money, you turned towards the world of crime.
The Morales family had of course offered to help your mother as she struggled, but she was too proud to accept it. Rio and Jeff ended up helping in ways she wouldn’t be able to turn down, like bringing you guys meals, or giving you Miles’s old clothes.
The new Spiderman hadn’t been around long before you became the Black Cat, and you two developed a relationship similar to Peter and Felecia. Lotsa flirting and chasing each other around the city with games and puzzles.
Of course, neither of you told each other your secret identities, wanting to keep the other safe.
Then one night when you were out stealing an expensive artifact, spiderman hung upside down from his webs and tsked at you, telling you to put the artifact back. Of course, with your relationship being so flirty, you tell him you’ll do it for a kiss.
And to both your surprise and miles’, he actually does it. he pulls his mask up enough to reveal his lips, and you two have a spiderman kiss right then and there.
Its only after you pulls away that you realize you recognize those lips, since you’ve always carried a flame for your best friend. One thing leads to another, and you put back the artifact and have spiderman chase you onto the roof where you take your mask off.
You both end up taking your masks off and revealing your identities to one another. It leads to a very long conversation why you both do what you do, and how it doesn’t change your relationship from what it was before.
That is until Miles ends up confessing that has always liked you a whole lot, both as Miles and Spiderman. When you shyly tell him you feel the same, he doesn’t believe it at first, until you kiss him again.
After that you two start dating, much to your parents joy, as they’ve always known you two had a thing for one another. Of course, Black Cat still steals, and Spiderman still tries to stop him, but if Black Cat starts only stealing from the corrupt, who’s gonna connect the dots?
Then everything with the multiverse happens, except you follow Miles through the portal, thanks to a gadget you’ve created that helps you become invisible and untrackable. You also have a grappling gun you use similar to webbing, so you can swing from the spider alliance.
When you reveal yourself to help Miles escape, a lot of the spider people are shocked, because they have their own Black Cat, that they have a relationship with of some sort. This allows you and Miles a headstart.
During the chase you use your meta powers on the people chasing you as well, making a lot of them trip or fumble, or be affected in other ways by bad luck.
When you end up on earth 42 neither of you realize it, too focused on saving Jeff to notice until its too late. You have a bad vibe, and stay hidden when Aaron arrives, following the two up onto the roof.
Miles G is able to see you even though you are invisible, thanks to the prowler gadgets, so both you and Miles are knocked out, and brought back to Aaron’s apartment since you’re both too distracted looking at the mural, which features both Jeff and you.
You were wearing your mask when you and Miles got caught, so when Miles G unmasks you back in Aaron’s apartment be drops it onto the floor almost immediately.
Miles G doesn’t know how to react to seeing your face again, Aaron has to get his attention because he’s just staring at you, maybe caressing your cheek so carefully with the clawed prowler gauntlets.
Miles G knows you aren’t his version of you, as you never had the chance to become Black Cat in this universe, having died too early to use your powers to start stealing. Your parents still divorced in this universe, but they used your death as the main reason.
Miles G grows a little obsessed with keeping you, as he doesn’t want to lose you again. Aaron just shakes his head as he watches his nephew dress you out of your Black Cat gear and into some of the clothes Miles G owns, because the you of earth 42 always wore his clothes.
Hed place you on the couch in the room, not wanting to lose sight of you, but also to maybe convince you that his doppelganger isn’t good enough, and you’ll want to stay with Miles G.
Miles would wake up first thanks to his accelerated healing, and the scene happens like in the movie where he tries to convince Aaron to free him, and he meets Miles G. That’s when Miles realizes you aren’t there and starts to panic, until Miles G turns the punching bag so Miles can see you unconscious on the couch.
It would lead to anger and fear in Miles, him cursing at Miles G and demanding him to let you go and asking what the hell he did to you. When he learns Miles G undressed you when you were unconscious Miles gets enraged.
You would have woken up by then, but played unconscious, trying to figure out what to do in this situation since all your gear was taken from you. But before you can really cook up a plan, Miles breaks free and the two start to fight.
When Aaron tries to step in, you jump up and kick him unconscious. Thanks to all the running and parkour you do, you have a very strong kick, which knocks the guy out cold immediately.
Using Aarons gun you shoot it at Miles G, since he’s the obvious threat in your eyes, and Miles G looks completely betrayed at you turning on him. He’s convinced himself you’re his and would choose him, so seeing you choose Miles breaks his heart and enrages him.
The fighting would continue, and at some point, Miles G would have you in his arms held against his chest, claws wrapped around your throat and ready to tear it out if Miles tries anything.
Everything is frozen as Miles G kisses at your neck and nibbles at your ear, muttering almost obsessively about you and how he’s missed you so much, how much he loves you, how empty he’s felt since you died.
You can’t help but pity him, because he seems so broken and sad without his version of you around. That doesn’t make you wanna stay though, as you guys need to go save Jeff and go back to your own dimension.
And though it makes your heart hurt to do, you use this to your advantage. Miles Gs guard crumbles when you turn and kiss him, his hands coming up to cradle your face almost desperately, like you’ll disappear if he doesn’t hold on for dear life.
You can feel the claws dig into your face and draw blood, but the distraction works perfectly, and Miles is able to knock him unconscious. Miles might hit him a little too hard, but he would excuse it on adrenaline later.
After you guys tie the two up and you get your Black Cat gear back on, Miles would push you up against the wall and kiss the breath right out of your lungs. Everything that’s happened has him feeling possessive and like he needs to overwrite the kiss you had with Miles G earlier.
Before you guys leave you fold up the clothes Miles G made you wear, and because you heart aches for him since he’s a version of Miles, you kiss the top of his head and maybe even leave a video message on his phone.
Miles isn’t too happy about it, but he also feels a litter flustered because you love him so much you feel for any version of him, even the crazy ones.
After that you two leave the apartment to try and find a way back to your own earth. You wonder if the video message will have any future consequences, but you are too set on saving Jeff that you don’t really think about it.
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generalllimaginesss · 4 months
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"I'm not letting you drive home in this condition” with Nico. I feel like he gives off protective energy. I’m imagining friends to lovers vibes. He falls first but they’re best friends. Maybe they met when he joined the Devils. Like randomly met somewhere and have been close ever since. And she has a really bad day at work. Everything that could go wrong, went wrong. And she’s crying driving home and drives to his instead because she doesn’t want to be alone. Maybe he makes dinner (idk if this man can cook tbh) and then she’s still upset but tries to leave so he can get on with his night and he insists she stay because he doesn’t want her driving upset. And that’s when she realizes she’s in love with him. Like she drove to his place unannounced because she knew he was the only one who could comfort her and the only one she wanted to go to.
I’ve realized that I’m a sucker for Nico. He gives off golden retriever vibes and I feel like he would be such a nice person to be friends with. I hope you like it!!
••
You didn’t realize when you picked up your friends shift, now making you a double, that you would make very little money and the tables that you served were horrible. Not to mention your anxiety was at an all time high while you were waiting on a letter to tell you if you were accepted into the graduate program to your dream school. When all of these emotions combine, it makes for a shitty day.
Twelve hours after you clocked in, you were only up $150 dollars and finally were able to leave, your last table staying almost an hour after closing. There was dried sauces all over your uniform, your hair was disgusting, and you just felt heavy. With your emotions clouding your judgement, all you wanted to do was go to sleep.
As you made your way to your car that was parked behind the restaurant you worked at, a couple of notifications from your email caught your eye. The emails came from the two schools that you were betting your future on…
You decided it could hold off, the tears burning the corner of your eyes took priority, and you didn’t know if you could handle what the emails revealed.
While running your hands through your tangled mess of hair, tears freely fell, the product of being completely exhausted. The one person that kept flashing in your mind, however, was Nico. The devils played Anaheim and you weren’t able to keep up with the score, so you wanted to congratulate him on the win.
As much as you hated your job, you always reminded yourself that it was temporary, and most of all that without it you wouldn’t have Nico. The one person in the world that felt as lonely as you at one point on a rainy afternoon 6 years ago.
When Nico had first gotten to New Jersey, he didn’t feel close to anybody. Sure, he was the first overall draft pick. Sure, people loved him. But at the end of the day he felt like he had nobody. He felt like he had to keep this persona of “Mr. Tough Guy” up to prove himself.
He found himself all alone in the restaurant you work at, managing to snag you as a server. He must’ve sat at your table for hours, always finding something else to talk about every time you checked on him. He stayed until you got off and proposed the idea of going out to grab a drink or two, to which you happily obliged, finally hopeful that you found a friend.
Where Nico felt lonely in hockey, you felt lonely in school. Making friends in college was hard, especially when you’re from out of state and aren’t in Greek Life or in any extracurriculars. Your roommate and you had hardly had 10 conversations in the first year you lived together, so your studies became your main priority.
When Nico and you realized that you had a lot more in common than you thought, the friendship just developed naturally. When you were off work you supported him at his games. When he had a day off he helped you make flash cards and study. And on the rare chance that you both had nothing to do, movie nights were your thing.
Six years later and he was your very best friend. You told him everything. Every detail of your life was known by Nico and vice versa. You weren’t dependent on Nico for emotional support, but he was sweet to have around.
Tonight, however, was going to be one of those nights where you just needed somebody. You just needed Nico.
The tears cleared your eyes long enough for you to send Nico a quick text letting him know that you were headed to his apartment. He immediately responded with a thumbs up.
While you were driving, just about every depressing Olivia Rodrigo and Gracie Abram song played, reminding you of your relationship that had ended almost a month ago. You felt bad because Nico already had to deal with the mess you were then, and here you are again. Driving to his apartment, an emotional wreck and tired of the world.
You parked beside his car and walked up the flight of stairs that led to his door. You barely were able to knock when he opened the door and saw the state you were in. He could tell that you had been crying, probably only stopping when you parked, and that you needed somebody.
“Come here,” he held his arms opened in the doorway, enveloping you in the coziest embrace, the smell of his body wash lingering from his shower. Since he towered over you, he gently held your head against his chest and rested his head on yours, placing light pecks to the crown of your head.
He held you like that until you pulled away and made your way completely into his apartment, him closing and locking the door behind you.
He watched quietly as you made yourself at home, taking your shoes off and untucking your shirt from your pants. He chuckled to himself when he saw that you were wearing completely mismatched socks. He loved the quirky things that you did.
“I’m sorry, I wanted to congratulate you on the win,” your voice was nasally since you had been crying so hard and your nose was stopped up.
Nico smiled sadly, not wanting to make you feel worse, but aware he should probably tell you the truth.
“We lost, actually. Five to one.”
You groaned, disappointed in yourself that you didn’t bother to look up the score to make sure they won.
“I’m sorry. I worked a double and wasn’t able to watch. I just assumed with Anaheim’s record that you all would win.”
“Yeah, well, it just didn’t end up in our favor. They played pretty physical. You should go back and watch it,” He winked at you, a smile stretching from one corner of his mouth.
“But anyways, what’s wrong? I know you didn’t come here to just congratulate me on ‘winning,” he looked you up and down, taking note of the exhaustion that spewed from you.
“It just wasn’t a good day. I didn’t make money and then on the way over here music that reminded me of-” You tried to finish, but Nico immediately cut you off, reminding you of a relatively new rule that he had made.
“We don’t speak his name,” his eyebrows raised, warning you to not finish your sentence.
You sighed, “Ok, well you know who I’m referring to.”
Nico walked to his sofa, plopping down and patting the spot beside him , offering it to you. You happily obliged, tucking one leg underneath you and the other tucked into your chest.
“They emailed me back…the schools,” you announced, to which Nico instantly perked up.
“And? Did you get in?” A part of him wanted to see you live your dream, but he knew that with you getting into your dream school would mean you would be leaving New Jersey. More specifically, leaving him. The thought of not having you only 15 minutes away made him want to punch a wall. He had let himself fall for you, knowing that while New Jersey was home for him, it was merely a checkpoint for you. It was one step closer to you taking off in life.
“I didn’t look. I’m scared to,” You admitted, pulling out your phone and handing it to him.
“Please read it for me.”
He clicked on the email, his expression hard to read.
He didn’t want to read the news to you. He didn’t want to be the one that told you that you had been waitlisted by the two schools you were betting on, but he knew it was better for him to read it to you than you read it alone.
When you figured he had ample time to read both emails and he wasn’t telling you anything, a pit in your stomach began to take place. Tears quickly puddled, spilling over your bottom eyelid as if they were a never ending fountain.
“I didn’t get in, did I?” Your voice broke, in return breaking a little piece of Nico.
“Waitlisted by both, but that’s not a no,” He tried to make you feel better, but when your body started shaking and the tears turned into sobs, he knew you needed to be held. He obliged, wrapping his arm around your side, pulling you closer to him and rubbing your side soothingly.
You instinctively laid your head on his side, wanting to curl into him as closely as you could, as if he could protect you from everything that’s wrong in the world. Everything that felt like it was out to get you.
“Have you had anything to eat?” He knew as soon as he asked it that you wouldn’t want to eat. He also knew that if you had been working all day that you wouldn’t take the time to stop and eat.
He felt you shake your head side to side, confirming what he already knew.
“I was about to make a quick dinner. I was thinking breakfast? Maybe some pancakes, eggs and bacon?” He ran his fingers through your hair, deciding to take your ponytail holder out and place it on his wrist. You sighed, the relief from the tension of your ponytail helping you feel slightly better.
“Please,” you said, knowing he was going to ask you if you wanted some either way. No matter if you made it into your dream schools or not, you still had to eat.
Nico slowly peeled himself off the couch, finally realizing how exhausted he was. Back-to-back games finally catching up with him.
You followed him to the kitchen, claiming stake to one of the barstools, watching him as he began to prepare the food.
“I know you probably don’t know, but what’s your backup plan? Are you going to apply to other schools?” He asked, cracking eggs into a bowl with pancake mix.
“No. I’ll have to wait until next year. I’m stuck here for another year, Nico,” your voice was strained and scratchy, but he understood you.
“That’s not all bad is it? I mean I’m here,” he attempted to make you laugh, but it was to no avail.
“My roommate is moving back home and I literally have no one else who I think I could room with. We both planned on this being it for Jersey,” you laughed, not out of humor, but at the thought of how much has gone wrong in 12 hours.
“What about staying with me?” He asked the question before he could catch himself. Would you see straight through to his true feelings for you, or would you just think he was extending a friendly offer to one of his friends who needed a little help.
“Nico, why the hell would you want me to move in with you? Have you met me?” Your puffy eyes made eye contact with his sweet ones.
Oh, how absolutely clueless you were. It would have been cute had it not been his feelings for you in the mix.
“You’re not that bad. I’ve definitely had worse roommates.” He smiled as he flipped the pancakes on the griddle and placed the eggs in a pan on the stove to cook.
“I can’t accept your pity offer,” you reached across the counter for a paper towel to catch the snot that was creeping out of your nose.
“Don’t think of it as a pity offer. Think of it as…what’s that word for when it’s not a parasite, but both things benefit?” He looked to the ceiling as if it held the answer to his missing word.
You laughed, finding it cute that he sometimes can’t think of the right English word he’s looking for.
“Mutualism?” You pitch the word to him, to which he points to you enthusiastically.
“That! Think of it as that. I mean, I could use a little help around here,” he motioned to his apartment.
“Yeah, I don’t know about that. I’d have to think about it,” Your tears were becoming manageable with him trying to make you feel better. You’d internally think about everything that went wrong and tears would brim again, but when Nico talked it made it better.
“Well think about it,” he said, his bacon looking a tiny bit burnt as he transferred it from the pan to a dish to serve to you along with some scrambled eggs and a pancake.
You began to dig in to the food, Nico following close behind you as he fixed his plate and sat beside you. The two of you ate in silence. It wasn’t an awkward silence, but a peaceful silence. It allowed for you to think and for him to think about you. He wanted to feel sad about you not getting into the graduate program, but a whole extra year with you? He couldn’t be too upset.
The two of you finished eating and washed your dishes, putting them up, Nico returning to the living room on the sofa and you putting your shoes back on.
“What are you doing?” Nico asked, his eyebrows raised inquisitively as he watched you tie your shoes.
“I’ve got to go home,” you said as you stretched your back.
“I’m not letting you drive home in this condition,” He started, ready to pitch his case for you to stay the night.
“You’re tired, upset, and you don’t need to be by yourself right now. Stay with me,” His eyes were practically begging you, but his tone was stern, evident that he would not be budging.
“I have no clothes-”
“I have some t-shirts.”
“I need to wash my hair and I have no shampoo or conditioner.”
“Nina left some here, use hers,” Nico had a solution to all of your excuses, making you realize that there really wasn’t a reason why you couldn’t spend the night.
“Just stay,” His voice was barely above a whisper, wrapping itself around your heart as you caved into him.
“Fine,” you sighed.
He showed you where all of Nina’s products were and laid out one of his old t-shirts on the counter in the bathroom. It was long enough to be a dress on you, swallowing you whole.
He ran the water for you and left you in the bathroom by yourself, causing you to let out a few silent sobs before getting in the shower, letting the hot water wash away the things you have no control over. You tried to think about the positives. You had Nico for another year.
Nico. Nico Hischier that held up your table all of those years ago. Nico Hischier that helped you study for every stupid exam you had. Nico Hischier that always ran to you first after every home game. Your Nico. Your best friend. The one that always had an open shoulder for you to cry on and open arms when you needed a hug.
Did guys treat girls like this that they just loved as friends? You sure as hell had never had one like him.
While thinking about all that Nico has been there for, tears begin to fall. It hit you like a ton of bricks, the possibility that Nico could be more than a friend. Would he feel the same? Would these newly discovered feelings be the downfall of your friendship?
Just as quick as the feelings surfaced, you shut it down. Nico meant too much to you for you to lose him over selfish feelings. Everything was perfect with him and your stupid little crush would not ruin that.
While you continued to shower, Nico changed the sheets on his bed, putting on fresh ones from the dryer so that you would be warm when you got in. He decided he would take the couch.
The smile that he had hidden while consoling you appeared as he prepared his apartment for you for the night. He thought about the possibility that you might move in with him, relishing in the idea that he could see you everyday when he woke up and at night when he went to sleep. Never ending movie nights and having his best friend 24/7…what possibly could be better?
You being his girlfriend. Would that come in time? Did he need to tell you his feelings or keep them to himself?
He had always been able to conceal his feelings, the fear of losing you greater than the pain of only being your friend. That had worked out fine, but when you rounded the corner of the hallway into the living room with his shirt hanging right above your knees and a pair of his long socks bunched on your leg, his breath hitched.
He let his eyes take in everything about you. The way your hair curled at the nape of your neck from the water, the random bruises that decorated your legs from being clumsy, a few pimples that dusted your face, only visible when your makeup was not, the random bit of mascara that you hadn’t managed to wash off.
He wanted you. He wanted you forever. He wanted you as his wedding date, his girl at the games. He wanted to share holidays with you, exchange anniversary gifts and plan birthday parties with you.
Everything in life he wanted to do with you.
“I can’t do this anymore,” He announced as he walked over to your small frame.
You were confused, about to open your mouth to ask him what he meant, but as soon as you realized he was leaning down to kiss you, your eyes grew wide in shock. His kiss cleared up what he meant.
He cupped your face with his hands, each thumb resting on your cheekbones as he very slightly pulled you closer to him.
Your lips moved in synch, making up for years of him loving you.
He noticed that you had a chapped spot on your lip, but he didn’t mind. The taste of strawberries from your lipstick from earlier lingered, causing him to deepen the kiss, never wanting to forget that taste.
You pulled away, needing to breathe. His eyes were still the soft brown ones that you loved, but you could tell that they looked at you differently from how you thought they did. Just standing in a t shirt and socks, they made you feel like the prettiest girl in the world.
A smile pulled at your lips, causing him to follow, his dimple making an appearance on his face. His scruff itched your face, but you didn’t mind.
“I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I’m upset you didn’t get into school because I’m not. Call me selfish or whatever, but I need you. You keep me grounded. I want you here with me. Move in here, find something to do while you wait to reapply. I just know there’s nobody else that I love the way I love you,” he ended his confession with a kiss to your forehead.
“Ok,” You whispered, not wanting the warmth of his body to ever be far from you.
“I love you, little lady. A lot more than you realize,” He smirked at the blush that spread across your cheeks, the rosy pink that highlighted your skin revealing the effect that this boy has on you.
He pulled you into him, hugging you as if you would be gone any second and he couldn’t let you go.
When he finally did let you go, you both hopped into his bed and began watching Harry Potter, starting with The Prisoner of Azkaban since he knew that was your favorite one.
You fell asleep first, your head resting on his chest as he scratched your back. When he noticed the soft snores escaping your mouth, he smiled to himself. This was how it was meant to be. You and him.
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spamgyu · 4 months
Text
BACKBURNER // PART 4
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DESCRIPTION: She had grown tired of being on his back burner, the person that he had kept warm until he gotten the girl he has had his eyes set on for years... And with a little help from her friend, maybe... just maybe she'll finally be the first choice. PAIRING: Seungcheol x Reader | Mingyu x Reader GENRE: Angst & Fluff PART 3 | SERIES MASTERLIST | MASTERLIST
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When he had told Jeonghan that his roommate had convinced him to go over to his best friend's house to finally tell her how he felt, he wasn't lying.
It wasn't just for show – to tell a fake story to make their lies believable.
"Seungcheol fumbled, are you going to do the same thing?" Minghao asked him, keeping his eyes trained on the screen while they worked together to complete their game's mission.
For the past few months, they had almost always circled back to one topic.
Y/n.
It was almost as if a switch had turned on in his head the day he realized that she was the one he loved this whole time. Just as has his mother predicted since their high school days, Mingyu had fallen in love for the one constant that was in his life.
"It's complicated, Hao. Shoot shoot– fuck." Mingyu cried, chucking his controller to the side as the screen flashed "MISSION FAILED".
Minghao shrugged. "How complicated could it be?"
"Well for one, it's one sided." He listed. "And then what, I lose her? Rather not have that."
"Just give it a shot. I doubt she'll cut you out anyways. She's stuck around this long, hasn't she?"
He was right.
She had seen the good, the bad, and the ugly and yet, she was still here. She still stuck by his side through it all.
He brought his fingers up to his lips, biting his nails – a bad habit he had developed whenever he allowed his thoughts to consume him.
The worst that could happen was that she could reject him, which he was 99% sure she would.
He just needed to get this damn weight off his shoulder.
Now more than ever.
Sighing, Mingyu stood from his seat. "Alright, I'm going to do it."
He had all the intentions of doing so that Valentine's Day. Showing up to her doorstep with a small bouquet of tulips he had picked up at Trader Joe's along with her favorite sweet treat from their bakery section – the brownie cookie combo that he swore was far too sweet for anyone's taste buds.
But instead, he was greeted by a girl with red eyes – it was clear that she had been crying just minutes before his arrival.
"Are those for me?" She sniffled, pointing to the contents in his hand.
"Yeah, I figured you were going to be upset this Valentine's day." He chuckled, lying through his teeth.
It wasn't the right time.
Mingyu wanted to tell her how he felt.
He wanted to finally feel the weight come off his chest but he knew it wasn't right.
Not when he still plagued her mind.
"Thank you." Y/n smiled, using the sleeves of her sweater to wipe her eyes. "No plans today?"
Mingyu shook his head, plopping down on her couch. "Today is for couples."
・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.
"Fake dating?" Minghao repeated what his friend had just debriefed him after his arrival. "At your big age, you're going to pretend to fake dat– You know you've had many bad ideas before but this one takes the fucking cake."
Mingyu groaned, putting his head in his hands. "I know okay? I know, I just– She– I don't know. You know I'd do anything for her."
"Including helping her get Cheol back?" He cried.
"I just want her happy."
Minghao sarcastically clapped. "Let's give it up for the stupidest boy alive."
"Leave me alone." He pushed his friend's hands away from his face.
"This is going to be so fucking messy." He shook his head as he headed for his room, leaving his friend in the living room to wallow in his own thoughts.
・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.
After three days of non-stop activities, she was ready to tap out – groaning in her bed as she flipped laying on one side to the other. She had mistakenly agreed to go hiking with Seokmin, Seungkwan and Hansol the day before and as someone who rarely did any physical activities, she was regretting her decision – feeling her thighs ache under the covers.
"Let's do something." Mingyu suggested from his bed, growing bored of the show he had been watching on the television.
Everyone else had left the hotel early in the morning to go ziplining, and considering her current state and his fear of heights, the duo had opted to sit this one activity out.
Getting the rest they deserve.
"I'm tired." She whined.
"Come on, I wanna go back up north and look around the shops." He pouted dramatically, batting his lashes at her.
They had all been so busy trying to complete the itinerary Eunji had so kindly organized that day that they weren't able to fully enjoy all the small town had to offer – Mingyu making note to pay it another visit during his free time.
Which was now.
She never could resist him.
Letting out a sigh, she sat up in her bed – trudging over to her suitcase. "You better fucking buy me something."
"I'm your boyfriend not your sugar daddy."
Grabbing the nearest article of clothing, Y/n turned around and threw it at him – hitting his face.
"I'm the luckiest man alive." He chuckled, tossing it back at her – making it perfectly into her suitcase.
"You sure are, baby." She winked, heading straight to the bathroom – outfit in hand.
"I thought we won't use baby!" He called out as the door slammed shut – a wide grin on his face.
He didn't care if it was in pure sarcasm. Mingyu felt his heart skip a beat.
Just as it had been the past few days.
Oh he was down bad.
Within an hour, they were back on the same road, blasting the same playlist – the two taking turns singing obnoxiously along to her favorite songs.
"I like it here." She reached over to dial the volume down, turning to point her film camera at him. "Smile– oh my god don't pose– ew!"
After a year of nothing but pure heartache, riding the roller coaster of emotions that Seungcheol had managed to strap her into, this was the first time in a while that the girl had enjoyed her time.
She couldn't help but dread the thought of the trip wrapping up, having to face the music of her reality – going back in to work, coming home to an empty apartment... and be alone with her thoughts.
With no Mingyu to distract her.
In the past few days, she had gained a new appreciation for her friend – noticing the small details of his actions. Especially after voicing this to Seungcheol on the beach, in attempts to defend their lie.
And even more when Mingyu had confirmed this two days ago.
At the time, she was simply saying what was at the top of her head. She had always known that he was there for her, answering all her calls in an instant and showing up with no questions asked.
Even if it was to help her get a bird, that had accidentally flown in and wreaked havoc, out if her apartment.
She remembered how stressed and terrified he was of hurting the poor thing as he used a broom to usher the small creature out – recording the whole thing on her phone for future entertainment purposes.
"Thank you." She glanced over at him, a soft smile on her lips.
"For what?" Mingyu's brows furrowed, confused at the sudden change of tone and air between them.
"Just being a good person." Y/n shrugged.
"Are you going all soft on me, y/n?" He teased.
"Don't make me take it back."
"I'm kidding." He chuckled, reaching over to give her cheek a poke. "I should be thanking you. You bullied me into being a good person."
Aside from his parents and his sister, she had a big influence on who he was and the man he had become today.
Y/n had never once let any of his mistakes go by without a single lecture. He remembered all the times he would sit in silence while she talked his ear off, even if it was something minor as forgetting to clean the lint trap out of his dryer.
Something about starting a house fire.
Before, when he was in his teens and still unappreciative of her nagging, Mingyu would simply roll his eyes – letting her words go in one ear and out another. As time had gone by, he had learned to appreciate it.
Welcoming it even; beating her to the punch to text her of his mistakes and asking for advice on how he could make it right.
"Not enough though. How many girls have cried because of you?"
"Don't make me take it back." He jokingly threatened, using her line.
Laughing, she allowed for the views to distract her once again – snapping a few more pictures.
・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.
"We should come back here. Make it a tradition." She said, as the treaded through the small tide pools, pointing out the small school of fish that swam along their legs every now and then.
"Holding you to that."
The two had many traditions that they had set in place, one of them being spending a week during their summers camping with both of their families. A tradition that began when he had tagged along during one of her family trips – it wasn't long until his family joined in the following year, their fathers instantly becoming friends during the first day.
This would merely be another trip that they would continue on until they were old and grey.
"Do you think our kids will be friends? Like us?" Y/n asked aloud, stopping him in his tracks.
"I haven't really thought that far."
A lie.
He has.
Though, he would much prefer if their kids were siblings rather than friends.
They say a man knows in an instant whether they want to marry a girl or not.
Mingyu was no different.
He remembered that day so clearly. She had dragged him along to the mall to help her find the perfect dress for Jeonghan's wedding, and with nothing better to do he had agreed.
She had stepped out of the dressing room in a one shoulder satin maxi dress, fitting perfectly on her body. It was a simple dress, no ruffles, no sequins, no lace. Just a plain satin dress; but somehow she made it look like it was worth far more than the tag attached at the seams.
Mingyu remembered his heart skipping a beat that day, the breath in his lungs didn't seem enough as he took in her beauty.
He didn't know what triggered it, maybe it was the constant talks of the wedding, but his brain was instantly flooded with the thought of being the one at the end of the aisle – waiting for her as she made her way down in a white dress.
This soon then spiraled to thoughts of a married life with her; spending the rest of his life with his best friend.
It took him nearly a week to snap out of this day dream, his mind constantly wandering back to that day and the whirlwind of emotions that hit him like a ton of bricks.
"Have you at least thought about what you want for dinner?" She laughed; bringing him back to reality.
"Poke probably." Mingyu muttered.
"Sh.. the fish can hear you." She feigned shock as another school of silver fish swam by her toes.
"Yummy yummy fish." He cooed.
・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.
Sitting atop of the roof of the car, the two picked at the various small bowls for cubed fresh cut of the day that they had picked up from the local market – humming in content each time they took a bite.
Instead of meeting the rest of the group for dinner, Mingyu and Y/n agreed it would be best to simply pick up the poke he had originally suggested as opposed to racing back to the city.
Watching the sunset while parked by the sand was far better than the chaos, anyways. The two needing a break from all the voices that seemed to always talk over one another.
"Hold still," He picked up his phone and pointed it at her. "This would look good on my story."
While they sat in silence, digesting the dinner they had just finished not too long ago, Mingyu couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked under the soft orange and yellow hues of the sun that had dipped halfway into the horizon – illuminating her face in a new light.
Both metaphorically and literally.
Without a second thought, the girl listened to him – holding her pose of looking straight into the shoreline, a soft smile on her face. "Lemme see." She held her hand out as he handed her his device. "Send this to me."
Mingyu swallowed as his heart battled with his brain to do the unthinkable.
Maybe it was the fact that they had spent the whole day alone, acting as though they were still around their friends – pretending.
Or the fact that this his trip had given him a glimpse of what his life would be if they were actually together, the flirting, the hand holding, the soft whispers, waking up to her in the morning; the sweet moments he yearned for.
Or maybe, just maybe, it was because he's been wanting this for so long – unable to hold off any longer.
"Bug?" Her head tilted to the side, seeing the gears turn behind his eyes.
There goes that nickname.
The one that they have sworn to use just as part of the act that soon became a part of their daily vocabulary. Even when it was just the two of them.
"Let me just–" His mumbled, leaning down – which wasn't hard as they were already only inches apart, capturing her lips in his.
She didn't pause.
She didn't push him away.
In fact, she kissed him back.
Bringing a hand to cup her face, Mingyu moved his lips against hers slowly. He had been dreaming of this for a while now, and he could have sworn he thought their first kiss would be much rougher – thinking he would be hungry for her lips.
But this moment was delicate. He knew that it could all come crashing down the minute he pulled away, so he proceeded it with caution – his thumb caressing her cheek as his tongue swiped her bottom lip for permission.
She allowed it.
Mingyu's head was spinning at this point, wanting nothing else but to stay in this moment forever.
But he knew he couldn't.
They needed air.
Pulling away, Mingyu swallowed; preparing himself to receive an earful from her.
Instead she sat in silence, blinking at him.
He had fucked up.
"I'm sorry." He croaked.
Mingyu knew that if he wasn't the first one to speak up, she would let the tension swallow them whole – leaving them to drive back to the hotel without uttering a single word to each other.
"I think we should head back." She cleared her throat, scooting towards the moon roof they had slipped through.
"Hey–" He placed a hand on her shoulder.
She turned her head, lips pale. It was clear that she had regretted what had happened, a lump forming in Mingyu's throat as the worst had finally come.
"What?" Y/n asked softly.
"Just wanted to see if you were foaming at the mouth." Mingyu joked. "Since I have rabies and all..."
A small smile formed on her face, a wave of relief washing over him. "You're so fucking stupid." Y/n ducked into the car.
"No rabies?" Mingyu called out.
"Get in the damn car, Mingyu." She called back.
They were going to be alright.
・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.
For the first time in a while, she was confused.
She should have listened to the voice in her head when it had warned her that pretending to date her best friend was a bad idea.
At her ripe age of twenty six, she should have known this would happen.
Maybe it was the close proximity, or the fact that they had spent the whole day absentmindedly pretending to be a couple despite none of their usual audience being around, or maybe it was that he kissed her.
No.
They made out.
Either way, her mind was in a mess.
It wasn't like she's never had feelings for him before.
But the last time didn't count.
They were in high school — and everyone had a crush on him.
It was tiny crush that she had soon gotten over when she met her first boyfriend.
But this time was different.
There was more on the line.
Their friendship, their whole group's dynamic.... and Seungcheol.
The man who had been the main reason why she was in this predicament in the first place.
A part of her wanted to dismiss the moment atop of their car as a moment of weakness, the sunset and island hypnotizing the both of them.
Besides, it was Mingyu. He had plenty of girls in line, waiting to get a chance with him.
He must have simply been caught up in the moment.
If it was anything genuine, he would have acted differently instead of jumping back into the sense of normality as they drove back to the hotel.
But no, he made a joke out of it all.
It was a mistake to both of them.
But another part of her wanted it to be real – falling into the trap of their own acting.
While he had excused himself to the hotel gym, to work out with Joshua and Soonyoung, y/n was left with her thoughts – wanting nothing more but to silence it all.
She didn't want Mingyu, even if his actions was everything she wished for in a man.
It was– It had to be Seungcheol.
A knock on the door pulled her out of her thoughts.
It was as if the universe read her mind, opening the door to see him standing with a plushie in hand – nervously shifting his weight from one foot to another.
"Hi." He greeted softly, holding the t-rex stuffed toy out. "I uh– it reminded me of you."
If her mind wasn't a mess before, it sure was in pure chaos now.
It reminded him of her.
She recalled back to the one good week they had. No fighting, no tears, no mixed signals.
She had come down with a nasty cold and he had doted on her while she was bed ridden – staying over at her apartment to nurse her back to health.
They had spent that whole week binge watching all the installments of Jurassic Park, cuddling on her bed despite her protests of not wanting to pass whatever virus she had come down to him.
He didn't care for it, showering her with kisses.
"Thank you." Y/n accepted the plush.
She picked up on his nervousness, stepping aside to let him in. "Is everything okay?"
He nodded, bringing his hand to scratch the back of his neck – trying to find the right words to say. "I– I want to say sorry. For all of it. The pain, the confusion..... I– I'm sorry for being a dick."
"It's fi–"
"It's not." Seungcheol shook his head. "I had some senses knocked in me and–"
Y/n watched as he licked his lips, pacing in front of her before he came to a stop.
"It's you." He breathed. "I– I choose you."
Her world came into a halt.
The metaphorical glass shattering.
"What?"
"That night, when you asked me to choose, I– I shouldn't have hesitated. I should have stopped you. I'm sorry." He continued, pain evident in his eyes.
He was being genuine.
Y/n tried to search for any signs of lies on his face, unable to comprehend the words that left his lips.
This was the moment she had finally been waiting for, but why was she so afraid?
"I know an apology can't fix it. But if you'll allow it–" Seungcheol hesitantly took her hand in his, giving it a squeeze. "If you'll take me back, I'll spend however long trying to prove that it's you."
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clarks-letterman · 15 days
Text
URGGGGGEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! | zed necrodopolis x male!reader
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a/n — putting this as male reader because it's implied. not explicitly stated but I don't want to misadvertise the fic lol, gender neutral pronouns and body parts used. I don't really like the smut in this but the idea was funny to me… this fic will definitely be non-canon by the time Z4 releases!!
summary — Zed goes to Mountain College and gets a sex toy, his roommate comes to their shared dorm at a bad time.
words — 3k
warnings — smut! 18+ | implications of sex and actual sex occur, uses of the word "gooning", zed zombies out and they fuck so... feral!Zed, slight dubcon!! - first zombies fic so it may be ooc or just poorly written
~~~
Fall was in full swing at Mountain College. Soon the tops of roofs would be snowcapped and walkways would be sprinkled with salt, but for now, everyone tried to enjoy the weather while it was still warm. Sloping sides brought the occasional gusts of wind that all of the early morning go-getters had to deal with. They had to learn the hard way to bundle up if they wanted to make it to class without becoming the next monster to roam the Earth—probably as a snow yeti or something similar. The lecture halls were grand to handle the kind of metamorphosis a lot of human and inhuman students would be going through over the course of their early adult years. The only place where people were forced to grow together were the dorm rooms—as a push for inclusivity at Mountain College left everyone in close quarters to someone—or something—they had no clue existed before college. It was another thing to learn about, to understand that the small circle of your hometown isn’t the only circle to exist. People have groups that come in all shapes and sizes, and not all of them are going to fit together nicely, but that doesn’t mean there can’t be an effort. But there was one unspoken rule that everyone had to learn, regardless of their major: don’t enter a room with a tie, sock, or anything hanging off the door handle. Not at parties, not in classrooms—if there was such a thing to happen, and especially not at your dorm.
When Zed arrived at Mountain College, he never expected anyone to be as pro-zombie as they were. His roommate was insanely warm and kind to him. No one really hid who they were here. They were at that stage where they left the conformities of high school and living with their parents to being so overwhelmed with freedom that they had no way to grasp everything they had. The freedom; the new flaws determined by society were still unclear. Zed was one of those people, being free from the shackles of Seabrook and Zombietown’s driving force in unity to being another student in a sea full of them. It wasn’t to the same extent that he had gone through, but the established scene of breaking free from your past to start something new is what really pushed him to start trying things. He wanted to be a part of the community and to do that, you have to understand the area first. 
Zed started by doing most of his workouts around campus, then transitioning over to the city that was built around Mountain College. The short drive down to the city below could be completed in a timely manner during a daring jog down the road leading to the developed area. He never wore more than a tank top and shorts for his morning runs. The college was north of the city, so he only ever rarely went into the downtown area during his morning runs. He decided to go farther on his run today since he had an upcoming game and needed to burn off the endless brain-fest for dinner from the night before. So many calories, so little scores during his big game was how he viewed it.
Most of the shops still weren’t open, but there was one on this block that was still open. It turns out that the shop was not opening early in the morning, but in fact, closing after a very late night. The neon signs had yet to be turned off, and one reading ‘OPEN’ in big illuminated letters drew his attention. Next to it was a red triple-X sign.
The fleshlight was cobbled together with scraps and carefully welded parts to resemble the repurposed items of Zombietown. It reminded him of home, and the clerk told him that the toy was advanced, deceiving the average person by appearing to only be made of scraps and to have the basic, archaic function of just fucking it. Inside it was a hidden set of magnetic coils that both provided the correct amount of electromagnetic pulses through the zombie’s dick to prevent them from turning into the much more unpleasant version of themselves and it heightened the feeling of jerking off while the machine made contact with the skin from the inside.
He listened to what the clerk had to say about remembering to take off his Z-Band so it wouldn’t overstimulate him to the point of numbness, and that the side effects of it were mainly just slowed brain activity from “too much gooning.” As Zed would be quick to learn, it was called going cockdumb. There was the opposite, too, where his zombie side would forfeit all rational thought and quickly take whatever the closest thing to fuck is around to poundtown.
He learned quickly, though, and did as he said when he got back to his dorm. The order of instructions was simple: get yourself ready—get your dick hard, is how he interpreted it, take off the Z-Band, and use the fleshlight to calm all of his zombie urges. Before he started any of that, though, he placed one of his ties around the door handle facing the hallway. Then he got undressed, stripping down until the full-body mirror over his closet’s sliding door reflected his pale figure and vibrant green hair. He stood in the frame, checking out his recent gains for a second—still eternally lanky, but he was starting to fill out in the places that mattered.
His hands roamed over his body until he got down to his nether regions. Zed rubbed his dick until he was hard enough to stick his dick in the fleshlight, then watched in the mirror as he took off his Z-Band. The area around his eyes started to darken and dark veins started coursing all over his body. He took a few deep breaths before reaching for the fleshlight, each breath drawn in becoming more raspy as his insides changed in a way he couldn’t see. Carefully, holding on to it with an intentionally lighter grip so as to not overuse his own strength, he guided it over his cock and watched his tip disappear into the slit. He moaned, it was tight. He moaned again, it was vibrating. And then he looked back up at his reflection, the monstrous features were gone. 
Zed never told you about his little reveries into sex and pleasure as the weeks went on. After that faithful day, he found that he came harder and started to crave the feeling of release more and more. The feeling was simply addictive to him: a mix of tingles from the electro-pulses and genuine pleasure from the stimulation. But with how frequently he did it, there was bound to be a day where mistiming or miscommunication would expose him in the act. Today was that day.
It was around two in the afternoon, the ground was covered in a thin layer of snow and Zed had stopped his morning runs in favor of a quick indoor exercise and then moved to jerking off while the sun rose—you were returning to your shared dorm with the zombie from a lecture, notably earlier than usual. It was a Gen-Ed for biology, something that Zed had learned when you approached him one night in the hopes of having him help you. If he remembered correctly, it was about zombies—a newly implemented unit in the curriculum, now finding its way into its own circle of life. New studies emerged about the carbon emission of their dead cells that Zed couldn’t help with, but he explained how he felt that he functioned and the way he and plants interacted. That was at the beginning of the semester and it was how he found out that your class ran until around two-thirty. Usually.
Zed was enjoying his time inside for a change. Having finished his classes for the day and feeling the testosterone of his morning workout preserved through it all, he decided the best thing to do during his alone time was to use his broken-in toy. Zed was confident enough to not hide his sex life—well, he was confident enough to act like he was having sex with someone else, not his sex toy or the fact that he edged himself until he literally couldn’t hold it in anymore. That part was thankfully undisclosed by everyone since they knew not to enter his dorm, but you entered without thinking. He was laid back on his bed, staring at the ceiling like the white ceiling was painted over with the limitless stream of thoughts flowing out of his head. His eyes were shut, soft moans slipped out and he barely shifted the fleshlight on his dick out of the fear of blowing his load too early.
His load threatening to come out dissipated quickly, though, when he heard the door handle click. Then the hydraulic mechanisms that would normally push the door shut started to whir as it opened. He reached for the blanket he slept under, letting the fleshlight hang off his dick so he could find something to cover himself up. He was mad at himself for slipping into the habit of playing with himself while naked, but it was so much easier to bunch his comforter up against the wall and lay in bed with easy access to all of his holes. In the seconds—which felt even shorter for him—he covered his lower half and just accepted that you would see his bare torso. With enough smooth talking, he could convince you that he had just woken up from a nap. 
“Don’t be mad.” You said, coming in, hoping that he wasn’t with a naked girl or anything. You tried keeping your view of the inside of the room as limited as possible by turning your head just in case. “But I got out early ‘cause of the weather and I saw the sock…”
The only issue was that his fleshlight was forming a bump in his sheets, meaning that he couldn’t be laid down without it looking like he had a huge dick—or what would be the more reasonable explanation: he had a sex toy. Either way, it looked unnatural. So while you were still acclimating to the sight of him, purposefully looking away to give him time to cover up. You were still under the impression that someone else was in there, but you heard the clatter of something hit the floor, followed by a hasty curse under his breath.
You decided that you had given him long enough and finally looked into your shared dorm room. On the floor was a machine made out of old zombie parts that seemed to have broken into pieces, scattered around a pair of bare feet that padded around the carpet in panic. Your eyes trailed up to see Zed, naked and with a raging hard dick. Still freshly coated from the lube he pumped into his fleshlight, still wet enough to glisten in the sunlight pouring in the window behind him. And to say he was naked didn’t mean much, because he was truly naked—no Z-Band in sight on his body. His dick was red for only a second before the veins on it darkened along with the rest of his body. 
Somehow, his dick looked to be bigger, more intimidating. The dark shade it turned caused it to look like anything but slimming. His chest started heaving and that drew you to his arms, bulging with thick black veins that trailed up his arms and increasingly curved arms. They started finding their way to his midsection until his hands reached his dick. Neither one touched his pulsing cock, but motioned around it as if he knew that the fleshlight was unusable. He started fucking the air like he knew the presence of it from his more conscious and tame state.
Incoherently, through a gust of grunts and growls, he started speaking. It sounded like the friendly words he used during your past exchanges but were blatantly needy and desperate. You couldn’t quite hear what he said, so you moved closer under the assumption that he still had some control. Some sense of sanity without his Z-Band on. But as soon as you were within his reach…
Zed grabbed you, pulling you closer to his naked form. You looked at the dark circles around his eyes before meeting his actual eyes. A few words slipped through—as if he could still recall the language he had used for years somewhere deep in his brain—slurring out a loose connection of words that sounded like: “You break it… I break you…”
Zed’s mind was everywhere yet nowhere at once. His feral side was feeling and processing all of the emotions from his “human” side. So many things in his head were whirring for the first time in a while, and nothing was shutting down to compensate for the rising new emotions of rapacity—the urge to have it all and take it all. His head was already running at one-hundred and ten percent so now he needed to claim things in the room. To make things his. His room; the little voice in the back of his head that he suppressed about being annoyed by the fact that he had to share a room with you was finally being heard. You’d walk out of this—or better yet, be carried—with a new perspective on ownership.
Sex with Zed was fast. The urges brought on by his true zombie nature allowed him to rip off the clothes you wore to attend class. They were in shreds, adding to scattered bits of his broken toy, some landing on the sharper parts of it so that you didn’t have to worry about stepping on something painful as he guided you to his bed. It was the closest one to him and the easiest to throw you down on since the sheets were all undone, unmade. He would make you a mess in the next few moments so it didn’t really matter to him.
But for the first time, Zed was faced with a challenge in his zombie brain. He had put you on his bed—the faint smells of sex and sweat emanating into your nose from how much he jerked off in his bed, typically covered by his comforter—but now he looked at you, laid on your back, head on his pillow, and he was faced with one of two choices: did he want to cum in your mouth or your ass? He wanted to do both, and he hit his head in frustration, grunting. The simple thoughts his undead brain was meant to handle couldn’t stomach this as easily as brains.
A feeling deep within him told him that your ass would bring him the greater amount of pleasure, so he hopped on the bed with you, kneeling. His increased strength allowed him to lift your legs easily and with an unmatched haste. Your hole was in clear sight, and he wasted no time in burying himself down into it and lapping away. It was another sensation he had, thanks to consuming a million videos of porn in his spare time. That, and he was still a zombie. Flesh was something that he wanted to taste during his feral frenzy. It was the only thing his tongue tasted: the saltiness of skin. He felt so good, and you wanted to bury your fingers in his vibrant green hair to push him deeper into you, but that seemed a little too risky in his current state. Besides, he didn’t stay down there long. His head reared up a few moments after going down on you, his clear intention to fuck you until he comes, not the other way around.
Thanks to already fucking his fleshlight, his dick was still coated in lube; still sheening with its slick surface reflecting the light. When he put his dick in, he didn’t feel any friction, and he wouldn’t have cared if he did. The friction didn’t bother him and if it didn’t bother him, then it shouldn’t bother you. It never became a problem, though.
Zed decided that the perfect position to keep you in was with your legs over each of his thin shoulders. He started thrusting, taking little to no time to go as fast as he could. He was desperate, uncaring if you needed time to adjust. But, like everything else about his zombie-heightened feelings, what it took to make him cum went up too—much higher than his regular edging point. 
Zed was a quick learner. He found which spots made you feel the best—well, which ones made your face twist and your head turn into his pillow as he fucked you. That seemed to make him climb to the peak faster than anything else. Your ass was tight and soft, sure, but it was your reaction to how he dominated you with his big dick that really made him get going. He unleashed a flurry of moans that were deeper than the voice you got used to hearing.
Wet sounds and slapping filled the room until he came for the first time. You could feel your ass burning from the rough slapping and the way he kept up the skin-to-skin contact—breeding you until he was out of breath. Just like when he first transformed into the beastly version of himself. 
Zed pulled his dick out and you could hear the wet gushing, as well as the feeling of your hole leaking with his cum. He must have been really pent-up because it was already ruining his sheets and still seeping out of the tip of his dick. You looked around for his Z-band, still gathering your surroundings and acclimating yourself to the point-of-view of his bed. It looked to be on his dresser and within arm’s reach, so you went to grab it. But Zed stopped you, guiding your hand to his dick that was still hard. This was going to be a long night…
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munsonluhvr · 3 months
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HOW TO FAKE IT (MINI SERIES) (PART 2)
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contents: the weekend trip to the cabin has arrived and Tina has an agenda planned to challenge you and Steve's 'relationship'... word count - 6k
notes: fully believe this is not my best work; I had a ton of homework that had me distracted so those who are reading chapter - please come back for part 3 I promise it's going to be much better lol.
installments: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4
taglist: @frostandflamesfanfic
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It surprised you how easy it was to convince your parents to let you go to the Cunningham’s family cabin; word had got back to your parents that you and Steve made your debut as a couple at the party several days ago. To say the least, they were thrilled. 
Your parents have always loved Steve, finding him the most trustworthy male in Hawkins to be close friends with their daughter. On multiple occasions they had suggested you and Steve should date but you always shook your head, grimacing at the idea. Now they finally have their wish. 
You stand on the side of your bed, folding your pants into your duffle bag. Your mom sits on the bed beside you, folding your few shirts into your duffle bag as well. “Do we need to have the talk?” Your mom asks, glancing over at you. “It’s nothing to be afraid of, we aren’t those religious people who think sex is bad, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to-.“ 
“Mom,” you say, interrupting her. “I don’t need to have the talk; I took physical education class.” 
Your mom laughs softly, shaking her head. “Just be safe.” 
A few hours later you stand on your porch, duffle bag in hand, waiting to see Steve pull up. The Cunningham’s cabin is two hours away, up north in Indiana. The cabin, according to Steve, is on a lake, in a small resort area. You wonder to yourself how many people will show up and how vicious Tina plans on being. Your head already aches and you haven’t even left yet. 
Moments later, Steve’s car pulls up, the passenger window already rolled down. “There’s my gorgeous girlfriend,” Steve yells, his signature sunglasses covering the top half of his face. 
You wince. “Don’t yell like that,” you call back. “I don’t want the neighbors to hear.” 
Steve puts a hand on his chest. “Ashamed of being seen with me already?” 
You give Steve a fake smile, opening the car door. You get in, shoving your bag in the back seat. “If I was ashamed I wouldn’t be sending my ass up a river to stay at Chrissy Cunningham’s cabin, with Tina there, for you.” 
Steve presses the gas, sending the car lurching forward. “And that is why you are the ultimate best friend.” 
You hum, strapping your seatbelt on across your chest. “What would you do without me?” 
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The two hours it takes to get to the cabin flies by quickly due to Steve insisting on developing a detailed game plan for the weekend. 
“We need to make it believable but also leave from for Tina to get jealous.” Steve says, glancing over at you. Beside him, you’re in the passenger seat watching Indiana farms pass by.
“I feel like we’re doing a pretty good job doing that so far; Tina looked like she wanted to kill me when she invited us to the cabin.” 
Steve laughs. “She really does not like you, and she’s never been afraid to show that.” 
“No, she hasn’t and that’s the best part of this arrangement. Dating your best friend who Tina was always threatened by to make her jealous? Brilliant.” You say, glancing at Steve. A strand of his hair dangles on Steve’s forehead, the sun streaming into the car window and dancing across his freckled face, illuminating his soft features. 
Steve changes the subject briefly, noticing how he’s passing several exits on the highway. “Look at the map really quick, I want to make sure we’re going in the right direction.” 
 Eventually, you make it to the Cunningham’s cabin, multiple cars already parked on the gravel driveway. The cabin is set back, hidden from the road by rows of tall, bushy trees. The house is big, a classic cabin style, the largest house on the street. Even from the end of the driveway, you can see the blue water of the lake that outstretches for miles behind the cabin. 
As Steve pulls in, you notice several people lingering at the side of the house: your housemates for the weekend. When Steve parks, retrieving yours and his bags from the back seat, Tina saunters over, greeting only Steve. Casually, as if she and Steve never broke up, Tina throws her arms around Steve. “I’m so glad you made it,” Tina says, playing into her innocent act. While she hugs Steve, she looks over his shoulder, staring you right in the face. You offer a small, innocent smile. It’s only two days you have to be here, you remind yourself. 
After greeting Tina and the others who are spending at the weekend too, Chrissy, Jason, and some of the basketball players with their girlfriends, you make it into the side entrance of the house. 
“Nice place, Cunningham.” Steve says, taking his sunglasses off to look around the house. The inside of the house is grand, large wood furniture stretching towards the ceiling. The entrance leads directly into the kitchen, showcasing large, shiny kitchen appliances that sit on the island that’s settled in the middle of the room. It’s a beautiful home, you hate to admit. 
“Your room is over here,” Chrissy says, Tina close behind her, as they guide you and Steve to a room on the first floor. Down a short hallway, you crowd around the entrance of the bedroom. You peer in, seeing a single bed placed under a window. “You and y/n can stay in here.” Chrissy says to Steve.
You swallow hard, letting your eyes look around the room. There is a dresser in the corner, a small, plush chair adjacent to the bed. Everything starts to connect: you and Steve are expected to share a bed. 
You glance at Steve who’s already looking at you. He offers you a half-hearted smile, realizing the same thing. “This is great, we’ll put out stuff away and meet up with you guys in a second.” 
Chrissy leaves promptly but Tina lingers, analyzing you and Steve as you stand in the bedroom. After a second, she leaves. 
“Don’t worry, I can sleep on the floor, and you can have the bed.” Steve whispers to you, unzipping his bag to unpack his things. “They’ll never know.” 
You stay silent, unzipping your bag too, beginning to unpack your own clothes. For the first time you feel concerned, questioning if you can pull this fake dating scheme off with success. Steve, sensing your hesitation, comes behind you, placing his hands on your shoulders. He squeezes lightly. “We got this.”
Minutes later, you’re back in the Cunningham’s enormous kitchen, Steve retrieving a beer from the fridge and handing it to you. The other house guests are scattered across the kitchen and backyard, mingling together. Steve slings an arm over your shoulder, guiding you to a chair that’s adjacent to the kitchen, just over the kitchen’s boarder into the dining room. Swiftly, Steve pulls you back onto his lap again, the end of his chilled beer resting on your leg. You loop an arm around his shoulders, your legs dangling off the side of Steve’s legs. You both sit together, watching the small group mingle around the kitchen. 
In the days between the party and earlier today when you left Hawkins for the cabin, you had some time to think. You had begun to notice how your body physically reacts to Steve’s touch, the way your mind whirls every time a new set of eyes rest on you and Steve. You have this feeling again now, just as Steve plays his part as a loving boyfriend by placing a kiss on your jaw. You smile, glancing at him briefly. 
At first you just attributed to the mindset that you had engrossed yourself with dedication and devotion. You were pretending to be Steve’s girlfriend, convincing Hawkins High that you and he have been together for months, just secretly. Steve was also committed to making your false relationship believable, always attentive with calling you sweet nicknames, gazing at you lovingly when he introduced you to his other friends, or letting his fingertips drag across your skin. Every time it made your mind buzz, enough to make you wonder why you are feeling such ways.
The next phase of denial you enter is just attributing all your feelings to being so close to Steve. You have been best friends for as long as you can remember, always tied to each other’s hip. You had inside jokes, nicknames for each other, a permanent spot at each other’s family dinner table. You were each other’s dates to dances, you never had to ask, you just knew Steve would show up at your front step in a tux. You knew each other so well. When Steve started having girlfriends started to the mix, you never felt displaced. Steve went through girls constantly, as if there was a never-ending revolving door of them; yet each one respected you and Steve’s friendship and made sure to always make space for you. That is, of course, until Tina. 
You’re brought out of your thoughts when a shrill voice echoes across the kitchen. “Steve, you’re the tallest one here, can you lend me some help?” Tina’s voice says from around the corner.
Steve taps your legs, signaling for you to move. You stand up, allowing Steve to get up from his seat. He hands you his beer, moving across the kitchen to help Tina. “I’ll be right back,” Steve says to you with a smile. Steve leaves you alone, and as you sit back in the sofa chair, you miss the subtle warmth of Steve underneath you. 
After a few minutes, Steve hasn’t come back and you stand up, feeling the need to socialize and not sit alone in the corner. You weave through Chrissy and Jason who stand on one side of the kitchen island. Some basketball players, and their girlfriends, stand on the other side of the island. “Nice of you to join us, y/n.” Jason says, glancing at you as you walk by. 
You smile meekly. “What are you all up to?” 
“Actually,” Jason says, leaning on the countertop. “We were wondering about how you and Steve started dating.” 
“Oh, you know.” you say, simply. “Best friends that finally acknowledged they liked each other; no story really.” 
The group laughs, eyeing you curiously. The chatter continues around you, leaving you to listen to the back and forth. Down the hallway, however, you hear a set of laughs that takes your attention away. In the reflection of the class doors that lead to the driveway, you see Steve and Tina leaning against the banister of the stairs. Steve reaches out, pawing at Tina’s arm, a simple touch of affection. A pang of jealousy hits you and you’re startled by the feeling. The reality of the game you play with Steve washes over you again as you watch him and Tina flirt, knowing there’s nothing you can do about it because that’s the whole point of you and Steve dating in the first place – getting Tina back.
For the first time, you consider how Steve and Tina’s subtle, but not really, flirting is perceived by the other houseguests. As Steve has attempts to make Tina jealous, allowing himself to flirt with her or let her eye’s linger on him, did everyone really think you were stupid enough to not notice? What you hadn’t signed up for when Steve asked you to fake date him is to look like a fool and you hated to think that Steve’s actions were making you seem like a dumb, oblivious, person and girlfriend. And that thought really pissed you off. 
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“Let’s play a game.” Tina says, clasping her hands together. The group eight of sit around the living room, you and Steve sitting next to each other on the large, retro couch. His arm is around your shoulder, and you squirm underneath his touch. Across the living room, Chrissy sits on a loveseat, Tina and the rest of the group scattered around the floor. You couldn’t get your mind to stop thinking about Steve in the hallway with Tina. 
Jason laughs, a beer in his hand, as he seats himself next to Chrissy. “A little childish, Tina, don’t you think?” 
Tina shakes her head. “Not at all, we need a little fun. Let’s keep it simple; truth or dare.”
“Sounds fun,” Tina’s boyfriend says supportively. 
Tina offers a smile to her partner, appreciating his support. “Great, I’ll start – someone ask me.” 
“Okay, truth or dare, Tina?” Chrissy asks, leaning over to look across the room to Tina. 
“Truth,” Tina says. You have the urge to roll your eyes, but you suppress it, watching as the game begins to unfold in front of you. Instead, your clasp your hands together, squeezing your palms together.
“What is the worst mistake you’ve made?” Chrissy says after contemplating for a minute. 
Tina looks across the room at Steve, her eyes lingering on him for just a minute. You know she wants to say it’s breaking up with Steve. To some extent, the plan of fake dating Steve is working, Tina showing her jealousy and curiosity about you and Steve’s relationship; so, you should be happy. But you feel an unsettling feeling, one that makes you feel confused about everything happening around you. 
After a second, Tina takes her eyes off of Steve and looks back at Chrissy. “Definitely getting that haircut sophomore year; it was such a popular hairstyle and as soon as I got it, it went out of style.” Everyone is the room laughs, including Steve, and you smile half-heartedly. “Okay, who’s next? How about you, Steve?” 
“All right, I’ll give it a go.” Steve says, his body leaning into you more. From his movements, you smell his cologne radiating off of him, the familiar smell offering some comfort. 
“Truth or dare?” Tina asks, cocking her head to the side.
You don’t know if you want Steve to pick truth or dare: both could be dangerous options.    
“Dare.” 
Tina smiles, her eyes settling on you. “Kiss y/n; I don’t think any of have seen you guy kiss yet.” 
Your body freezes, every muscle becoming rigid. You’re terrified for a lot of reasons: one reason is because you have never kissed anyone before which is a truth not even Steve knows. The second reason is that you’re about to be forced to kiss Steve, your best friend, and you have no idea how you feel about that. 
“Yeah, Harrington, give your girl a kiss. No need to be conservative here, we’re all friends.” Jason says, gesturing towards where you and Steve sit with his hand that grips his beer bottle. 
“Is that really necessary? We just aren’t big participants in PDA.” Steve says, laughing nervously. 
“Now’s your chance.” Tina says, her eyes landing on you. 
Steve angles his body towards you, you wonder if you feel his hands tremble. You angle your body towards him as well, your knees touching. Steve looks at you, his eyes going to your lips. You’re really about to kiss Steve – in front of everyone. 
Steve scoots closer to you, his hand reaching out, his hand cupping your face. His fingertips brush your face, your skin buzzing at the sensation. Your muscles go from rigid to limp, your head becoming lightheaded. Before Steve leans in, he gazes at you briefly, letting his thumb brush your cheekbone. Then, he leans in, and you follow his lead, leaning in to let your lips meet his. 
You thought it’d be a short kiss, just a small peck, but it’s anything but. Steve’s mouth moves rhythmically in yours, the feeling of his plush lips against yours causing a small tornado to brew in your stomach. The smell of Steve’s cologne that was comforting a few seconds ago was now overwhelming to you, numbing the surrounding environment – the people that watch you. Steve’s lips are sweet, the beer tinting the flavor of his mouth. 
It feels like you have been kissing Steve for hours, though it most likely was only a few seconds. You pull away, breaking you and Steve’s point of contact. He leans in further, following your mouth as you pull away, but Steve realizes what he’s doing and backs away.
 Steve clears his throat, leaning back on the couch. “See, we kiss,” Steve says. Similar to you, Steve’s mind draws blank after blank, his mind whirling with a set of emotions that confuse him. He finds himself enjoying sharing a kiss with you, noticing how his mouth followed you as you pulled away. He hopes you didn’t notice that. 
You look at the small group of faces that watched you, small smiles on their mouths. Tina, however, has her arms crossed, her lips puckered with discontent. 
“I felt like we should have given you privacy, that was intense.” Jason says, laughing. “What else do you guys do in private?”
Steve rolls his eyes. “All right, All right, let’s move on.”
“Y/n, your turn.” Tina says, adjusting in her seat. “Truth or dare?” 
“Truth,” you say, not wanting to see what type of dare Tina would have in store for you. Turns out, though, that her truths are far much worse then any dare. 
“Did you and Steve get together right after he and I broke up? I mean you were his best friend and around us all the time. Were you just hoping we’d break up so you can have him all to yourself?” Tina asks. The room goes silent. 
You sigh, knowing this was waiting for you all along. “Of course not, Tina. We got together after you and Steve had broken up and it was clear you were getting back together.” 
Tina hums, crossing her arms across her chest. “For some reason, I just don’t believe that. It’s such a coincidence that two best friends got together so close after a breakup – I mean surely he was still thinking about me when he together with you.” Tina says, glancing at Steve. “Are you sure you’re not a rebound?” 
“Tina-“ Steve says, but you hold up your hand, ready to meet Tina.
“I just don’t get why you care so much, Tina? Aren’t you the one that broke up with Steve to immediately date someone else? Are you sure that’s just a coincidence or were you plotting that while you were still dating Steve?” You say, knowing you questioning Tina, in front of her closest friends, was getting dangerously close to her most vicious point. 
Tina laughs, shaking her head. “Oh, y/n. You sit there with Steve acting so innocent like the perfect little girlfriend, but little do you know everything Steve does for you know, I taught him. He probably still calls out my name during sex.” 
You jaw clenches, the sounds of people snickering fill the silence in the room. Steve is still, completely motionless beside you, listening to you handle your own against Tina. He feels sick, his stomach twisted is regret. Steve thinks about how he never should have gotten you involved in this.  “I think you give yourself too much credit, Tina, Steve has most certainly moved on.” 
“All right you two, that was definitely more than one question, Tina.” Jason says, interrupting you and Tina. You let your back relax against the couch, feeling the heat in the room creep inside of you. 
Steve puts his arm around your shoulders, acknowledging the tough situation Tina had just put you through. He squeezes your shoulder. Watching Tina attempt to embarrass you, in front of everyone, made Steve question what he was doing attempting to get Tina back in his life. He knew Tina’s personality is bland, her only joy in life coming from tearing other people down - for what? Suddenly, loses his motivation to get Tina back – he just wants to take you and he home. 
“Let’s go,” Steve whispers to you, beginning to stand up off the couch. He reaches out, grabbing your hand in his. “We’re going to hit the hay early tonight; we’ll see you in the morning.” Steve says to the rest of the group. Everyone mumbles goodnight, their eyes watching you and Steve move out of the room. They pick back up where they started, Chrissy up next to pick truth or dare. 
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“Steve don’t sleep on the floor. Just get in the bed.” You say, listening to Steve whimper as he lays himself on the hardwood floor. You hear him pause. “Really? It’s so uncomfortable down here.” He says, leaning up to look at you on the bed. 
You nod. “Just don’t touch me, we aren’t that close.”
Steve laughs, placing his pillow on the bed next to yours. You move yourself back, letting Steve maneuver himself into the bed. The mattress dips under his weight, his warm body laying close to yours. For a few minutes you lay in silence, watching the darkness stream through the shades of the window. Shadows dance across the ceiling, your eyes watching as you listen to the crickets that chirp in the dark of the night outside. 
“I’m sorry,” Steve says, breaking the dark silence. His arm brushes against yours. “Tina was vicious today and I didn’t stop it.” You shake your head, looking at Steve from the corner of your eye. “Don’t apologize, I knew she some sort of plan against me.” 
“Still,” Steve says, meeting your eye contact. Steve’s glance turns into a gaze, holding your eye contact. In your stomach, you feel a flutter. If someone told you Steve would be the one to check things off your boxes – giving you your first kiss or sharing a bed with a boy; you’re sure you would have told them they were out of their mind. You break your eye contact, looking back at the ceiling. 
Beside you, Steve lets his long fingers slither against the back of your hand, picking yours up to rest against his. Steve outstretches your hand, comparing the size of it to his large hand that dwarfs yours. “You’re so small and delicate.” 
You laugh, looking over at yours and his hands. “You’re just noticing our size difference now?”
Steve interlaces his fingers with yours, enveloping yours hand with his. He squeezes your hand gently. “Fake dating you has allowed me to realize things about you I ignored when we were just best friends.” 
“Don’t get soft on me, Steve.” You say, although the flutter in your stomach grows more intense. 
Only one day left. 
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The day at the Cunningham’s cabin starts bright and early; Jason bangs on you and Steve’s bedroom door, jolting you out of Steve arms, which is wrapped around you, holding you against his body. You and Steve glance at each other, mutually agreeing not to speculate how you both ended sleeping in such a position. 
“Steve and y/n, up and at em’ lovebirds! Meet us by the water in five.” Jason yells, the sound of his voice pounding in your head. It’s too early to yell. 
Quickly, you and Steve throw on lake appropriate outfits, turning each other’s back to one another, providing as much privacy as you can, considering the circumstance. 
You’re halfway out the back door of the house when Steve grasps your forearm. “Hand,” Steve holds his hand out to you. “Gotta make it believable, babe,” Steve says, overemphasizing the nickname. You smile, taking his hand, though you have a funny feeling inside of you – something you can’t put your finger on.
“There they are!” Chrissy says, extending her arms over her head. Chrissy’s feet were already in the water, Jason beside her. Tina glances at you, offering a fake smile, though she trains her eyesight is aimed at you and Steve’s hands that are intertwined. 
“Here we are,” Steve says almost unenthusiastically. You can tell his socialization level is beginning to bottom out. 
“Drinks are over there,” Jason says, pointing towards a cooler several feet away. “We’re thinking of playing volleyball and swimming. I’ll get the floats out of the basement later.” 
Steve looks over at you. “Volleyball or swimming?” 
You shake your head. “I think I’ll just sit for now.” 
Steve frowns, but nods, letting go of your hand. “Okay, I’ll sit with you-“ As Steve speaks, Jason calls his name. “Steve, come play a round of volleyball with us.” You look towards Jason, seeing Tina, Tina’s boyfriend, and Jason stand on the volleyball court. “We need a fourth.”
Steve looks over at you. You smile, gesturing towards where Jason. “Go, I’ll be fine.” Steve nods, his eyes lingering on yours, before he jogs away towards the volleyball court. 
You continue towards the beach chairs, noticing Chrissy is already sitting in one. “May I join you?” you ask, sitting down in the chair beside her. 
“Not a fan of volleyball?” Chrissy asks, looking over at you. 
“Not a fan of anything physical,” you say, letting your legs stretch out in front of you. The lake has rough sand, but you let your bare feet dig into it. 
Chrissy laughs. “I feel the same way, I always get lightheaded. My exercise is cheer and that’s about it.” 
You smile, glancing at Chrissy. You never truly interacted with Chrissy, her crowd is much different than yours, the two groups never interacting. You had heard good things about her, always kind and sweet to everyone. You always wondered if she was as fake as Tina, considering they were close friends, but you find the rumors are true – she’s incredibly kind. 
You’re about to respond to Chrissy but cheers from the opposite direction pull your attention away and towards the sound. You watch as Steve and Tina, who are on the same side of the volleyball net, high-five, Tina squealing with excitement. You lean back against the webbed beach chair with a soft huff. 
“That’s got to be tough,” Chrissy says. “Tina is trying too hard to be friendly with Steve post breakup. I told her to leave you two alone, but she won’t listen.”
You toss an uneasy smile at Chrissy, opting to look directly in front of you at the lake. “Oh, it’s okay. I’m not worried.” 
Chrissy cocks her head to the side, not believing a word you say. “Your face says otherwise. I’m sure she’ll get bored, I mean she has to, Steve is so into you.” 
You frown, whipping your head to Chrissy. “W-What?” 
Chrissy turns away from you, positing herself to look straight ahead, her arms dangling off the arms of the chair. She, too, outstretches her legs in front of herself, her legs seemingly going on for miles. “The way he looks at you, it’s so obvious.” 
You swallow, digesting what Chrissy is telling you. Steve? The way he looks at you? Chrissy must be wrong, any look that Steve gives you is purely because you’ve been friends for what feels like decades, and you might as well be the same person – Siamese twins even. 
You’re silent for a long time, the noise of other neighbors coming out from their house to be lake go-ers for the day filling the silence.  Your mind is in a whirl as you’re deep in thought, thinking about Chrissy’s comment, and you jolt when Chrissy places her hand on your forearm. “Come on, let’s go into the water.” 
The lake behind Chrissy’s house is huge, from where you stand you can see the houses that peek out from the trees around the lake. The lake must be miles and miles long, boats saunter across the water, those who occupy them dancing to the radio together. Though the lake is only accessible to those who own a house, the lake is big enough, and deep enough, to need a lifeguard. A very cute lifeguard in fact. 
You and Chrissy stand knee deep in the lukewarm lake water, watching small fish swim between your legs. You chat with Chrissy, finding out that she’s much more easy going then you thought she’d be. The day has passed by quickly, the morning turning into the afternoon with little transition. After a little swimming, you and Chrissy begin to walk down the length of the Cunningham’s property, the edge of her home right where the lifeguard stand is.
A whistle blows, the sound cracking, signaling the whistle should be retired soon, interrupting you and Chrissy’s conversation. “Ladies, looking that good is certainly a swimming hazard. Back on the shore, please.” You and Chrissy look at each other, giggling at the lifeguards comment. 
The lifeguard is beautiful; his torso is bare showcasing his toned upper half and strong muscles. He has dark hair, his short locks framing his face perfectly. Freckles are dashed across his face, a boyish smile on his mouth. He moves, with ease, down from his stand, making his way over to where you and Chrissy stand, only a few inches from the shore. 
“I’m Blake,” Blake, the lifeguard says. “And you two are?”
“I’m Chrissy,” Chrissy says, clasping her hands in front of her. “And this is y/n.” 
Blake looks at you, his eyes lingering. “Y/n, you’re awfully beautiful.” 
You smile, your face flushing at the compliment. “Thank you, Blake.” 
“Chrissy!” Jason yells from far away, their volleyball game concluding a bit ago. “I need your help getting the floats from the basement!” Chrissy glances between you and Blake, then jogs off towards the shore, leaving you and Blake alone. You should have realized how not mentioning to Blake that you had a boyfriend, Steve, might look to Chrissy but in the moment you didn’t care. Why couldn’t you have a little fun on this god forsaken trip? 
“Just here for the weekend?” Blake asks, bringing you back into the conversation. 
You nod, softly crossing your arms in front of your scantily clad chest. “Yeah, with some friends.” 
Blake nods, his eyes grazing down your body. “That’s too bad, the hot ones always have to leave.” 
Later, you’ll realize that Blake is not your type, and how his gives player vibes, but in the moment, you just want to have fun leaving the ideas that Steve looks at you a certain way or the weird flutter you felt last night as you laid with behind you. 
You just want a distraction from it all.
Where you stand with Blake, you have no idea that Steve is watching. Steve is perplexed on what to do as he’s blinded with raging emotions. He’s pissed; the tall, gorgeous lifeguard standing beside you, his eyes taking every inch of your bare skin. For a moment, Steve doesn’t even consider what everyone else who’s staying at Chrissy’s cabin thinks as they glance with curiosity at this stranger interacting with you, Steve’s girlfriend. Steve wants to do nothing more than punch the lights out of this guy, bruising his eyes that visually violate you. Steve watches for a few minutes, you laugh, you reach out touching this lifeguard’s arm. Steve can’t take it any longer when you turn around and the lifeguard looks right at your ass, shamelessly. 
Steve stalks over to you and Blake, his feet moving him quick. “Y/n!” Steve calls, making it over to you and the male in seconds. “There you are babe; I’ve been calling you.” Nonchalantly, Steve places his arm over your shoulder, interrupting you and Blake’s conversation. Steve offers Blake an innocent yet threatening smile as he nudges you along. You squeak as Steve begins to rush you away. You don’t even get to say bye to Blake. 
“What the hell are you doing?” Steve whispers to you when you’re far away from Blake, guiding you away from the water. “Flirting with that asshole in front of everyone, you’re supposed to be my girlfriend, remember?” 
You’re pissed too, Steve ruining your only chance to experience joy on this trip. “Sorry, I’m just trying to have a little fun. You can flirt with Tina all day long, in front of everyone, but I can’t flirt with some random lifeguard?” 
Steve snorts, his grip tightening around your shoulder. “I’m not flirting with Tina; I was just playing volleyball with her. You heard Jason, they needed a fourth player!”
You hum, attempting to shrug your Steve’s arm off your shoulder. “This sucks Steve, this has gone far beyond just getting Tina back. She has it out for me, last night was proof, and I’m just looking like a stupid, oblivious girlfriend as you sneak around with Tina, and I’m just supposed to not notice?” 
Steve hustles you past the group of teens that surround the firepit in the middle of the backyard, bringing the beach chairs from the lake and onto the grass. They all stare, your argument moving from whispers to loud enough that they can catch glimpses of your argument. 
“Keep your voice down,” Steve says. Steve moves you onto the porch, opening the sliding glass and pushing you into the kitchen. “You’re going to blow our cover.”
Outside, the day begins to dim, the sky turning a dark blue color. The little bit of light outside illuminates the room enough for you and Steve to maneuver around the kitchen island. “You already did that Steve! By flirting with Tina so carelessly. You want to flirt with Tina? Fine. But you don’t have to do it in front of everyone and make me look stupid.” You march into yours and Steve’s designated bedroom, passing him on one side of the island in the process. Steve follows you. 
“Y/n,” Steve says with a sigh. “Look, I’m sorry. Okay?” 
You’re covered in lake water, the dry feeling that clings to your body makes you know that you should shower before getting into bed, but there’s no place you’d rather be then under the sheets. You lift the bedsheets up, climb into the bed. “I don’t care, Steve, Whatever, it’s fine.” 
Steve stands in the doorway, watching you turn into a lump under the sheets. Although you’re arguing, he finds himself smiling. “I mean it, I’m sorry.” 
“I mean it, I don’t care. Just go back out to the party and your beloved Tina.” 
Steve is amused but mostly frustrated - for two reasons. For one, wasn’t this the whole point? Making Tina jealous so she’d come back to him? Maybe you had a point about making you look stupid, but he thought you and he were on the same page, understanding the same game plan of Tina becoming his girlfriend again so you two didn’t have to fake dating. Second, Steve hated it when you and he fight. You never did – the last time was when you were 14 and Steve had seen a movie with his friend when he said he’d see it with you first (you were pissed, to say the least) - and he hated that the first fight in a long time was over Tina. 
“Fine,” Steve says, turning on his heel. “Be that way.” And Steve disappears around the corner. You’re sure Steve is going to come back, apologize profusely, but you give up that hope when you hear the sliding door close shut behind him. 
As he sits on the beach chair around the campfire, next to Tina, Steve’s mind begins to drift away, thinking about his reaction to seeing you and the lifeguard. Why had he gotten so mad? I mean, wanting to physically harm a guy that was flirting with you was a bit much, surely. He acknowledges to himself how he didn’t like seeing you flirt with someone, another male drinking your body in, and he wonders what that confession could mean. Does he have a thing for you, and it took being in a fake relationship, at Chrissy Cunningham’s cabin, seeing you flirting with a lifeguard, for Steve to realize that? All Steve could think about, while his friends laugh and roast marshmallows together, is that he wanted to be under the sheets with you, your small body curved against his – and that scares the shit out of him. 
It's going to be a long ride back to Hawkins. 
286 notes · View notes
crvptidgf · 24 days
Text
7 Minutes
Hazel Callahan x Reader
summary: hazel gets paired up with you to play 7 minutes in heaven
warnings: making out, suggestive but no smut
requested?: yes! tysm
- hiii i was wondering if i could request a hazel x reader fic where isabel hosts a party and the fight club all play seven minutes in heaven and reader gets paired with hazel and things get a lil hot n heavy
word count: 1.2k
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IT WAS STUPID, really.
You had been convinced to play 7 minutes in heaven at your fight club sleepover. Isabel had a free house, and she insisted on everybody coming over for a movie night and snacks. One thing led to another and PJ ended up suggesting the game - one which, admittedly, you had never played before.
It felt childish - yet your legs shook with anxiety as you sat down onto the floor. A bottle lay in the middle of the circle of girls. PJ seemed to be rubbing her hands excitedly, smiling at the group.
“Okay, let’s start the scissor-fest!” she yelled, earning a groan from Josie and Hazel.
Purely by chance, Josie and Isabel were chosen first (which was lucky considering they were together). In all honesty you think they would’ve denied it if it had landed on anybody else.
For you, there was one person you both really wanted it to land on, but simultaneously were dreading if it did land on her.
Hazel Callahan.
You would consider yourself friends, but (not so) recently you had developed a huge crush on her. A crush which was reciprocated, yet you both made no move to confirm it. Typical. There was some mutual flirting, hand brushing, and extremely borderline erotic talk between you two any time you had to fight each other at the club.
Basically, everybody knew you two had the hots for each other. And everybody had tried to get you guys together, but to no avail.
It wasn’t that you didn’t want to - if anything, you wanted it more than you could put into words. Yet any time you made an attempt, something got in the way. Or more specifically you got too nervous and chickened out.
She was just so intimidating to you. She was beautiful, hot, smart, funny. A perfect recipe to make you a stumbling mess under her gaze.
You were so deep in thought that you had barely noticed a giggling Josie and Isabel exit the closet. Their hair was askew on their heads, their t-shirts were wrinkled and half unbuttoned. They were so in love that it pained you sometimes. When was it your turn to be as in love as them?
“Alright. Hazel,” said PJ, her eyebrows wiggling.
Sylvie made a half-hearted crude gesture, her eyes flickering towards you before looking back at Hazel.
She merely rolled her eyes, glad that you hadn’t noticed this. Your attention was brought back to the floor, everybody waiting with baited breath as the glass bottle spun.
It felt like an eternity before it finally made up it’s mind. Landing between you and Annie, you both looked at each other with wide eyes.
“Uh-“ you started.
“I think that’s definitely you,” said Annie, her hand coming to push the tip of the bottle more in your direction.
Your cheeks burned with embarrassment. “We could spin again?” you said.
PJ immediately shot up. “Nope! Rules of the game. Let’s go,” she said, making a shooing motion at you. She pushed Hazel up out of her seating position, ushering her to go.
You walked ahead of Hazel, your heart quite literally dropping to your ass. To say you were nervous was an understatement. You were terrified.
What if you were a bad kisser? What if your breath smelled weird? Would she be totally turned off if you had no idea what to do with your hands?
PJ’s exaggerated moans were muffled now as Hazel closed the closet door behind her.
There was still the faint noise of the girls giggling, their crude noises invading the space of the living room they were in.
Hazel looked at you, noticing how you were picking at your nails.
“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to,” she said shyly, her hand coming to scratch at the back of her neck. “We can just sit and talk-“
“No! No, it’s not that,” you blurted out, afraid of making her think that you didn’t want her. This was all you had wanted for months but the fact that the time has come already had you freaking out. In your mind, there were a million things that could go wrong.
Hazel cocked her head to the side. “So you do wanna kiss?” she asked, her confidence rising upon seeing how nervous you seemed.
“I- yes. Jesus, that’s all I’ve wanted to do for-“ your frustration grew with each syllable that you spoke, “God, Hazel just kiss me!”
Surprised at the sudden outburst, she made little progress in leaning in to make the move, so you took it upon yourself to grab her by the collar and finally connect your lips. And oh was that the best idea you have had in forever.
Her lips felt like velvet, the plump feel of them against your lips driving you crazy. Of course you had imagined what it would be like to kiss her but nothing could compare to the real deal.
Your hands grabbed at her waist, desperate to feel her closer to you.
Hazel pulled away momentarily to catch her breath, her fingertips brushing across your thigh as you both panted. The look in her eyes made your stomach flutter. She looked like the most perfect girl in the world.
It was less than a few seconds before her lips were back on yours. “I cant,” she said in between pecks, “get enough,” another few kisses, “of you.”
“Me too” you admitted, still gripping her waist as she began to walk you backwards. Back hitting against the wall, you took the opportunity to flip yourself around, pressing Hazel up instead. You began to trail kisses down her jaw, enjoying her mewls of pleasure at the contact.
“You’re killing me,” she groaned at the light nip you left on her neck.
Soothing the bite you left with your tongue, you spoke up. “Could’ve had this a long time ago if you made a move.”
Letting out a chuckle, Hazel wrapped her arm around your back to turn you to your first position, your back returning onto the wall.
“Same goes to you.”
You rolling your eyes at her comment. You were quickly taken out of your attitude as you felt Hazel pushing her hips against you, her belt giving you a slight bit of friction. Gasping, you reflexively grabbed onto her hair, earning another throaty groan from the girl.
“If you keep doing that we’ll be here longer than 7 minutes,” she said, her head dropping down to your exposed shoulder.
Thank god you wore an off the shoulder top.
Hazel was in the middle of leaving a bruising mark onto your skin when the room was intruded by a bright light, the door to the closet swinging open.
“We were right! They are scissoring!” yelled PJ, her voice interrupting the sensual vibe you and Hazel had going on.
Dropping her head onto you shoulder, Hazel let out a small ‘oh my god, PJ’. You could only laugh in response, your fingers carding through her hair to ease her from her embarrassment.
“Don’t worry, Haze. We can finish this later,” you whispered to her, to which her head whipped up almost immediately.
Now she really regretted not asking you out earlier.
234 notes · View notes
linkspooky · 16 days
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The Supreme King Judai vs. Dark Deku: How To Do a Dark Deconstruction of your Shonen Hero!
Think of this as less me complaining about My Hero Academia, and more me taking a closer look at the writing of the Dark Deku arc and why it failed to achieve what it set out to achieve.
I like to look at writing on a deeper level than Thing Bad, and Thing Good. Imagine a story is a car engine that won't start, in order to find the problem you've got to disassemble all the pieces and look at them one by one to see what pieces aren't working. That's the kind of criticism I'm talking about, break storytelling down into different tools like parts of an engine, plot, world, characterization, ideas, actions and consequences and then look if the author is using those tools effectively to sell a story.
In other words we're talking about the difference in ideas and execution. All works of fiction have ideas, even bad anime can have good ideas inside of it. The idea in question is Judai's case is can exploring the dark side of a hero. Can a hero's positive qualities also lead them down a dark path? Yu-Gi-Oh Gx answers this in a satisfying way, and My Hero Academia I'm going to argue does not.
IDEAS VS EXECUTION
One piece of writing advice I heard from Brandon Sanderson of all people that always stuck with me is "Ideas are cheap. You can always come up with more ideas."
All works of fiction have ideas and themes no matter what the Game of Thrones guy say, but some works are better at communicating their ideas than others. I want to quote a Homestuck Ending analysis of all things to explain what I'm talking about.
When you are a writer you can write anything you want. But if you want to write a story that people want to read you have to follow the rules of good storytelling. There are reasons why storytelling rules exist. A story is a bond between author and reader, readers to other readers. It is a communication between humans and humans work in a certain way. Storytelling rules are rules of communication. Rules for handling expectations and saying what you intend to say without it being misheard. Rules for tugging at emotions and pulling heartstrings in a good way rather than a bad way. Storytelling rules are lessons learned by authors of the past that failed to communicate what they needed to. They are not that subjective.
Chief among these rules is buildup and payoff. In fact one of the most basic techniques of storytelling is foreshadowing, in screenplays you usually foreshadow one important twist, then add a reminder so the audience doesn't forget, before finally paying it off.
To simplify build up and pay off I like to refer to it as question and answer. Usually a story will ask its audience a question, and usually by the end that question is answered, unless the point is to leave that question unanswered / ambiguous.
Character arcs are examples of buildup and payoff too, a lot of characters, especially in serialized media are sold on their potential future development. Here's an example, how may people got invested in Dabi years in advance because of the Dabi is a Todoroki Theory? That's an example of good buildup and payoff, because the author sewed just enough hints to build up an audience expectation and then paid it off. People became invested in the story, because they thought their investment and theories would pay off eventually and it did - so hooray!
Both MHA and YGOGX dedicate an entire arc to trying to deconstruct their main protagonist. They also seek to deconstruct the "Hero Complex" or "Saving People Complex" that each protagonist has, and ask the question if those traits are really a good thing.
This post puts it better than me so I'm going to quote tumblr user rhodanum.
‘Hero complex’ or 'saving people complex’ — an obsession with rescuing people in the face of danger, often to the exclusion of all higher thought processes. All too prevalent among shounen main leads, especially hot-blooded shounen main leads. Yuki Judai is certainly no exception. What is interesting in his case is that the writers follow the consequences of his rash, reckless, often thoughtless actions all the way to their heartbreaking logical conclusion. For those not fully in the know, it involves spiky black armor, an army of sycophants and a fall from grace that caused as much damage as a thermonuclear bomb. Don’t make perky, happy shounen protagonists snap, people. First rule.
I'm going to quote another video too, to add onto the above quote. It's from this video, starting at around 39:52
"GX is kind of famous among fans for taking its happy protagonist and stripping him down to all of his worst qualities. And that's fun. So Judai is a character who's really interesting. He's definitely open to a lot of interpretation, and you know we're gonna be leaning on my interpretation of him. Sorry. It's my video. I think he's commonly referred to a "very typical shonen protag" probably one of the most shonen protag of the yu gi oh protagonists. He is headstrong and loud, and (makes punching noises while air boxing), he is a type of character who's like I'm gonna be the best and brings everyone along on the ride. He's the kind of protagonist that everybody loves him they're all fighting over him, and Yu Gi Oh Gx really puts him up on the pedestal, of like THIS GUY. THIS GUY DOES IT ALL. Then season 3 rolls around and dares to ask: but what if that's selfish behavior?"
That's the question both MHA and YGOGX are asking in Dark Deku arc and Season 3 respectively, what if all of those behaviors that make them the typical hot blooded shonen protagonist are actually selfish? Is their hero complex really a good thing?
Each arc is tasked with exploiting the main character's flaws, until they reach their emotional breaking point and lowest point in the story. Let's see how each story treats their main character and from comparing that I want to make a point about what makes effective storytelling.
The Supreme King Haou Arc
Instead of recapping the entire arc to you, I'm going to touch upon what ideas the story setup in regards to Judai's character and how it paid off those ideas. What are the questions the story asks and what answers does it give us?
I'm going to focus on the two questions I outlined above. Is their hero complex a good thing? and What if this is selfish behavior?
Yu-Gi-Oh GX is an anime where instead of using super powers, the main characters fight each other with a magical trading card game. Besides that fact there's a lot of similarities between GX and MHA. They both take place in an academy setting where the main characters learn about using their quirks, and playing the card game better respectively. It is a shonen battle anime where almost everything is solved with a shonen fight, they just use cards instead of flashy superpowers. The main characters are all students who have to grow up and enter the adult world.
Judai and Deku are both characters that deconstruct the "hero complex" of shonen main characters. Judai is themed entirely around heroes, he has an elemental hero deck where every hero is based off a hero that appears in popular culture, he is the best duelist in the school and the one everyone calls on to save the day over and over again. As stated above he is the most Shonen Protag to ever Shonen Protag, he's a warrior therapist who makes friends and saves the day because he's really good at the card game, and will always show up to fight for his friends.
For the first two seasons Judai is built up on this pedestal of the ideal Shonen Protagonist, and praised by basically every single character for being "childish" and "pure of heart" however when Season 3 comes around the narrative stops heaping endless praise on him and starts to challenge him. However, this doesn't come from nowhere there are signs of these personality flaws of Judai, they just get swept under the rug the first two seasons.
There are several moments such as the climaxes to season 1 and season 2 where Judai fails to grasp the stakes of the situation, saying things like "Oh, this card game is really fun" when he's dueling with lives on the line. Judai in fact has a pattern of "only wanting to duel for fun", he fights because it's fun to him not because it's the right thing to do. However, he's continually forced into high stakes situation where he has to fight for others just because he's the strongest character - and constantly having to carry that on his shoulders starts to weigh on him after awhile. Judai will show up to fight and save his friends every single time they need him, and that's the source of his hero complex because after a certain point his friends start relying on him too much.
In general he also doesn't have deep thoughts of what heroes are, he admires heroes but it basically boils down do "Heroes are cool." He's kind of like Goku where he doesn't really fight for any idea of justice or to save others, just for the thrill of fighting itself. He also has a tendency to be insensitive to other people's feelings and take things for granted. For example, in Season 2 like three of his friends get possessed and Judai doesn't even do anything about it for half a season because he's too busy participating in the dueling tournament.
In general though it's a pattern of Judai only wanting to "duel for fun" and him being forced to duel to save others instead, and be responsible for other people. Judai will show up to fight for his friends, but even then he falls back on just "dueling for fun" because always having to fight for others is too much responsibility to put on his shoulders.
There's a lot of hints of Judai's flaws, but they also tend to get brushed off because shonen protagonists are just like that. Like, Judai can say some insensitive things to his friends sometimes and be oblivious to their feelings, well he's just a book dumb shonen protagonist. Judai should be taking this fight seriously, well he's just being a happy go lucky shonen protagonist, etc. etc. A lot of these things are also just swept under the rug as him just being a child, a boy-at-heart like most shonen protagonists are supposed to be.
However, season 3 starts looking at Judai not as a shonen protagonist but as a person, and it all starts with the suggestion that maybe Judai remaining a child at heart is a bad thing, especially when his friends around him are all growing up. It all starts with the introduction of this guy right here - Johan Anderson.
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Johan shares many things in common with Judai, he can see spirits, he's a duelist who loves to duel, he has a strong connection with his cards. However, the more you compare them the more you notice that Johan has a lot of things that Judai lacks. They are so similiar that they become almost instant best friends, but even then Johan himself notices there are a few things off about Judai's behavior.
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Sho: Bro... I thought you would have something to say to me. Johan: He seems lost. I think he just wanted you to give him some advice. Judai: SHo will be fine. Johan: Judai, you're colder than I thought.
It takes someone completely new to the dynamic between Judai and his friends, who likes Judai but hasn't spent the past two seasons idolizing him to realize that some of his behaviors are kind of off. That Judai isn't really the most empathic, or even that good at understanding other's feelings.
Johan is the one to point this out because he has the emotional intelligence that Judai lacks. We've been told Judai is our shonen protagonist for two seasons, only for the real shonen protag Johan to step up out of nowhere and show them how it's done. Johan is good at seeing other people's emotions, and he becomes a near instant pillar of emotional support for Judai. More than that, he also is the first person to treat Judai like an equal, he never asks Judai to save him like all of Judai's friends do, if anything they both save each other.
Johan also exists to show what Judai is lacking, mainly a reason behind why he fights.
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Judai: I do it because it's fun. Or because of the surprise and delight, I guess. Well, I guess that comes down to "because it's fun", huh? Sorry, I guess that's an awkward question to ask out of nowhere. Johan: What's wrong, Juadi? Judai: Nothing, really. Johan: I have a proper goal. Judai: Don't tell anyone. Even if people don't have the power to see spirits, they can still commune with them. That's why, for those people as well... (I want to be a bridge between humans and spirits).
Judai is someone who will always show up to save his friends when he is asked, but he doesn't really have a concept of what being a hero is or the repsonsibilities it entails, he just admires heroes in a pure hearted way. Johan on the other hand has a reason to fight and that's to help humans and card spirits get along, and Judai expresses admiration for Johan because he has a goal.
At the same time this is happening, Judai gets picked apart by two villains for his lack of reason for fighting. Judai has been praised to death for two seasons for being pure of heart, but now the villains are challenging him by saying he has no "darkness of the heart". That without it the reasons that Judai fights are superficial and frivolous.
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We have something that you lack. Judai: That I lack? Yes the darkness of the heart that slumbers deep within a duelist. The burden that a duelist bears in his heart. Judai, you have none of that. Judai: A burden in my heart. I have nver, not even once, dueled for myself. I doubt someone like you, who only thinks of himself could udnerstand that. Judai: What would be fun about a duel like that? It isn't fun at all! You must bear other's expectations while remaining strong. That is what it means.
Judai is a bit of a blood knight, he will be dueling with his friends lives on the lines and stop to go "Wow, this duel is really fun" and it's usually just dismissed a shim being a shonen protagonist until suddenly it isn't.
I'm gonna draw a deliberate parallel between Deku and Judai here that I'll reference later on, they both don't understand "darkness of the heart" and they need to understand it in order to grow as people.
There's also the underlying notion that being a hero is not all it's chalked up to be, to be a hero, to fight for other people's sake means also taking on their suffering. As noble as that may seem suffering is suffering.
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Cobra: Fortune would never smile on a fool like you who fights while prattling on about enjoying duels. Cobra: You are certainly a talented duelist. But you have one fatal flaw. Judai: A fatal flaw? Cobra: Yes, your duels are superficial. Someone who fights with nothing on his shoulders, cannot recover once he loses his enjoyment. What a duelist carries on his shoulders will become the power that supports him when he's up against the wall! Cobra: But you have nothing like that! Those who go through life without anything like that cannot possibly seize victory. Cobra: But I know that nothing I say will resonate with you... because you have nothing to lose but the match. Judai: I... Cobra: Afraid aren't you? Right now, you have nothing to support you.
In the context of this scene, Cobra has told everyone that he's currently enacting his evil plan out of the vain hope that he can somehow revive his son from the dead.
As insane as "I think I can revive the dead" is as a motivation, fighting for the sake of your dead son is a much stronger motivation than "I think duels are fun."
Judai doesn't have an appropriate answer as to why he fights when he's questioned by the villains, and instead of coming up with his own answer he relies on the answer Johan provided for him.
Johan: You idiot. Why are you so shaken Judai? You think you have nothing on your shoulders? Give me a break! You always bear other's expectations on your shoulders. When you have other people's expectations riding on you, it means they've trusted you with their hopes! Don't you always carry those? If you lose what will happen to us here?
Johan's words snap him out of it, but this isn't Judai coming up with an answer himself it's just taking the one that's provided for him.
This is also the point where we get start to develop an answer to our question. Is Judai selfish?
In action he's not. His actions are selfless. Judai is always fighting for others, even when he only wants to duel for fun. He will show up and fight if you ask him too.
However, in motivation he is selfish. His motivations are selfish. Judai isn't fighting out of some selflessness, but because fighting for the sake of other people gives him a purpose. He keeps fighting for his friends, because he's built all of his friendships around being the one to solve their problems. It's why he Johan's answer suits Judai so well, because he thinks that's how friendship works that he has to keep carrying everyone's burden for them.
Not only does it lead to unhealthy friendships (he sees his friends as burdens) but also it's unhealthy for Judai himself (he can't keep carrying other people's burdens without getting weighed down).
Judai's hero complex, this pressure he feels to save everyone around him arises from two things, it gives him friends when he'd been a lonely child before that, and it gives him purpose. Playing the hero is how he made all of his friends, and now it's how he keeps them.
However, in spite of doing all this to keep his friends, Judai's relationship with his friends is so all give and no take that he's practically fighting alone until Johan shows up. Judai doesn't form a healthy and stable relationship with Johan however, Johan just becomes a crutch.
In Summary:
Judai's actions are selfless.
His motivations are selfish.
Judai's purpose is to carry everyone's burdens on his shoulders.
Judai's friends exist to be saved by him.
The following arc is roughly divided into four sections. Everything I've covered above happens in the first section the Cobra Arc.
Cobra Arc
Zombie Survival Arc
Dark World / Supreme King Arc
Oh Shit, Yubel's Back
The cobra arc is the introduction and it sets up the basic ideas of Judai's character that I listed above, in addition it focuses on the question of if Judai is selfish, and the idea that being a hero is a burden. There's also the third question where Judai is called to understand darkness of the heart, something Deku will also be called to do.
The Zombie Survival arc is an arc where the school is teleported to another dimension and they have to survive for several days with a limited food supply, everyone fighting, and an outbreak of zombies.
The main setup of this arc is to show how everyone is working well together as a team, even in a high stress situation. Alexis, Judai, Misawa, Kenzan, all pull together with the help of new students Johan, Austin O'Brien and Jim Crocodile Cook.
However, I'm brushing over this arc because Judai doesn't actually do much this arc. If you analyze who does what, it's mainly Johan and Austin O'Brien who are in charge of the entire school. Johan demonstrates leadership skills, calls on everyone to pull together in a time of crisis, and most importantly emotionally supports Judai all throughout.
Even when Judai is confronting the main villain of this scenario Yubel, it's Johan who shows up to support Judai, and it's Johan who wins the duel at the sacrifice of his own life. Everyone gets through the zombie arc unscathed, but it's because Johan is the hero of this part of the arc, not because of anything Judai really did.
Judai who having gone on so long carrying other people's burdens to the point where he's made saving others his purpose, has for the first time experienced someone helping him carry those burdens only to disappear and Judai does not react well to it.
This is when the story has finished setting up all the dominoes that are about to fall. We have one mini-arc drawing attention to the dark side of Judai's personality and how he doesn't understand his own darkness, and one mini-arc showing Johan being a much more effective hero and leader than Judai, demonstrating everything Judai lacks.
You Either Die a Hero, or You Live Long Enough...
Yadda yadda you know the rest. A character being undone by the same traits that made them a hero, is classic tragedy 101. It's called the Hamartia or the fatal flaw. A character's greatest strength in some situations can be their greatest weakness in others. The Supreme King Arc is a masterclass in showing how the traits Judai had that led to his success in the first season, can lead to his total ruin, and even to him becoming the villain of his own story.
Hero and Villain are much closer than you'd realize, and this becomes especially true in the relationship between Judai and Yubel. Judai shares an extremely close relationship to his antagonist foil, just like Deku does with Shigaraki.
However, in Judai's case he's the reason that Yubel turned evil. While it's not entirely his fault, Judai's decision to abandon Yubel when he was a child, made Yubel go through ten years of painful torture all alone, which is the reason behind their current madness.
To summarize Yubel and Judai's story briefly. Yubel is a card spirit, the thing that Johan wants to serve as a bridge between card spirits and humans. Judai had an incredibly close relationship with Yubel as a child, but Yubel was overprotective and used their powers to harm anyone who came near Judai. Judai launched Yubel into space hoping the righteous space rays of justice would calm Yubel down (I know that sounds stupid just go with it) but instead Yubel was hit with the light of destruction a corrupting force that made them endure years of torture. They called out for Judai's help in their dreams only for Judai to eventually forget about them with a psychologist's intervention. Eventually the satellite they were trapped in made it's way back to earth, and they almost died burning up on re-entry. When they finally crawled their way back to Judai, they found Judai had been living the past ten years happy and surrounded by friends, while they had been tortured in space and nearly died all alone.
At which point Yubel snaps, hard.
While it's not Judai's fault entirely because he was a child and he didn't know what was going to happen, he still made the decision to abandon Yubel and stuck them in that situation. Judai's actions creaeted Yubel, and now Yubel is here broken and hurt and determined to hurt all of Judai's friends.
Judai doesn't know how to cope with the guilt or responsibility for either of these things. Both for creating Yubel, and for the fact that because of Yubel Johan might now be dead.
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I'm the one who made her what she is!
This is where the show starts demonstrating that understand in darkness of the heart is necessary, because Judai can't understand two things, number one the fact he might have hurt Yubel, and two how to deal with the sense of responsibility he feels towards Yubel becoming what they are, and for Johan's apparent death.
He just feels a lot of guilt, and as someone who's only been the carefree hero up until this point he doesn't know how to deal with that guilt.
Judai makes a very similiar decision to Deku. He decides to go out and hunt for Johan by himself, leaving his friends behind so he won't risk their safety. Unlike Deku however, his friends immediately follow and insist on coming along.
This is when the problems start appearing, because the second everyone enters the Dark World to look for Johan, the show starts demonstrating clearly how different Judai's leadership is from Johan.
All of Judai's flaws start popping up, he's tactless, self-centered, and doesn't consider others feelings, and most importantly of all he doesn't look before he leaps. These behaviors that could earlier be swept under the rug, just become aggravated in a high stakes situation where everyone's lives are on the line. Judai came together with everyone to look for Johan, but he keeps acting like he's alone.
Another user's meta post here summarizes Judai's actions in the Different Dimmension, more succinctly so I'm going to quote them.
Shit Judai’s friends signed up for when they went into the Different Dimension with him:
searching for Johan
working as a team
deciding as a group what risks they’re willing to take
risking their lives together, on an even playing field
Shit Judai’s friends didn’t sign up for when they went into the Different Dimension with him:
having their input thoroughly ignored
being left behind while their friend recklessly charged ahead
having essential information kept from them (Judai didn’t tell them about the fatal consequences of dueling in Dark World)
being kept from dueling without their opinion on the matter ever being taken into account
having their physical, mental and emotional well-being be completely ignored by the de-facto group-leader
being relegated to secondary importance in comparison to Johan, in Judai’s eyes
having their group leader outright break the promises he made to them
To name a few things Judai does while in the different dimmension. Almost immediately after entering the dimension he runs away from the rest of the group, forcing Austin O'Brien to follow before anyone has even gotten their bearings or investigated where they are. Make an agreement with everyone to rest and wait for Dawn to search for Johan, only to run off into the middle of the night without telling anyone. Run off ahead of the group leaving several of their members behind, and when O'Brien tells Judai that members of their group are missing and that he should go back and search for them, Judai asks O'Brien to just do it instead.
Judai doesn't see the flaws in this behavior because it's how he's been acting all along, he always runs off into danger head first and he always fights on his own. Judai's never been good at considering the feelings of others though because he's a tad socially impaired, so he just doesn't seem to notice everyone's growing concerns with how he's acting.
Once again we are asked the question, is Judai's behavior selfish?
Judai deliberately abandons his friends three times, and the third time everyone stops to discuss his behavior.
Kenzan: True, we did come to this world to save Johan, saurus... Fubuki: He did find some minor clues as to Johan's whereabouts, so I suppose it's only natural, but... Asuka: But right now, I feel something is different about Judai. Menajoume: That's right. He got us all riled up about this, and now he's totally forgotten the comrades who came along with him. Kenzan: That's really irresponsible, Saurus. Fubuki: I don't mean to be a wet blanket, but I wish he'd realize the anguish he's putting us through. Asuka: Judai isn't doing this for Johan or us now. It's for himself. He just seems to be rushing forward, headlong, to forget the responsibility he bears on his shoulders.
The answer now is yes, his motivation is selfish because it's no longer about saving Johan, but just to stop himself from feeling guilty.
The stress of the situation is aggravating Judai's worst qualities yes, but Judai's always thought about himself first before others, he's always viewed his friends more as burdens / people to be saved rather than equals.
This all leads to a situation where Judai messes up big time. The same way he abandoned Yubel, he abandons the rest of his friends to run ahead and search for Johan.
They are all kidnapped - and it's Austin who notices they are missing Judai isn't even paying attention. Austin says they should head back and look for the others, but Judai asks Austin and Jim to handle that alone so he can keep searching for Johan.
Jim: The others haven't arrived yet. Something might have happned to them on the way. Judai: I see. Sorry, but could you go back and fetch them? Jim: What? You mean you don't care what happens to them? Austin: Don't forget these are the friends that are in this with you. To fulfill our objective in this dimmension we need everyone working together. You wait here until we return. Judai: Okay, I will.
Austin and Jim agree to go back and search for the others, if Judai promises to wait for them here instead of going on ahead. A promise which Judai immediately breaks.
Which is how Judai walks right into a trap.
Judai abandons his friend so they get kidnapped. He doesn't go back to look for them, so he misses out on a chance to save them. He doesn't wait for Austin and Jim to come back, and because of that he wanders all alone into a trap.
That trap is a sacrifice ritual where the leader Brron challenges him to a duel, and every time Judai attacks one of his friends are sacrificed. Judai is forced to attack and each friend dies one by one.
Judai didn't want to attack, he didn't choose to sacrifice his friends, but he did make every decision leading up to that. The trap was easily avoidable if he 1) didn't leave his friends behind 2) went looking for his friends after they were left behind or 3) waited for Jim and Austin to come back.
Judai didn't mean to sacrifice his friends, but it's a result of his own bad decisions. It's the culmination of an arc where he's been selfishly taking his friends for granted. It's a consequence for Judai just choosing to recklessly barrel forward because he can't cope with his guilt.
Judai's lack of darkness of the heart really dooms him here, because he was blind to his own flaws until it was too late. This isn't even the part where Judai does the bad thing, Judai's careless actions lead to four of his friends dying but he doesn't learn from his mistakes. He snaps, hard.
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Judai: But at least I avenged them. Sho I'm really glad you're alive. Sho: Those words... they're just lip service. Bro... bro, you're selfish. Before now, I thought of you as the sun. Someone who gave others energy and made the impossible possible. But, I was wrong. All you care about is getting your way. You don't care who you sacrifice. You'll do anything in the name of your goal. Avenging them won't bring back the people you sacrificed. You're just dueling to satisfy yourself. Judai: O'brien! Austin: I thought I told you to wait. Judai: Are you saying what I did was wrong? Austin: Think it over for yourself. Judai: Why? What did I do that was so wrong? I... I did the right thing! And yet... everyone keeps leaving me! What... What is wrong with me? Supreme King: Yuki Judai. To be willing to be evil to defeat evil. This world exemplfiies survival of the fittest. It must be ruled with power. Judai: Power? I don't have that much power... Supreme King: You hold the Super Polymerization card in your hand. Defeat the spirits that stand against you. Breathe their lives into it and complete that card.
After this point Judai decides to sacrifice everything else for power, and to complete the Super Polymerization card he's already sacrificed four friends four.
It's the culmination of an arc where Judai's only been praised for his strength and his ability to win duels. Where he constantly has been called to win duels to solve problems, until that stops working. When everyone is gone, all that's left is his strength. He had to keep winning to keep people safe, but even that wasn't enough, he was still missing something.
He knew he was missing something, that there was something wrong with him and he didn't know where to look.
Conclusion?
He needed power. If he had power, then he wouldn't have lost. If he had power then everything would have turned out alright. He didn't have the strength to carry everyone's burdens for them, that's why he lost, so what he needs is more power. He's been demanded to win, win, and win again so now winning is all that matters.
Now we have our second question: Is Judai's hero complex a good thing?
That's a definite no, because the pressure to always win, to always save everyone and carry their responsibilities has now completely broken Judai. To the point where he now believes that the only thing good about himself is that he's powerful, but he now is willing to sacrifice others to gain more power.
My name is the Supreme King.
Now here's the best part about Judai actively having a villain arc.
He does bad thngs. He does a lot of bad things.
It turns out when you're abandoned and left alone to suffer you do bad things, crazy that, I'm sure Yubel would have a lot to say about that.
Judai is also not being possessed in this scenario. They state it several times. You could say he's Shadow possessed in a Jungian sense. The supreme King is the symbolic embodiment of all of Judai's flaws that he's been ignoring until now. You could say Haou is representative of Judai's subconscious that has been repressed for so long until all those flaws finally surfaced, and that the Judai we see on a day to day basis is his ego, that the relationship between the two is a metaphor for conscious and subconscious.
Jim does a deep dive into Judai's mind, where we're shown a symbolic sequence of what the inside of his head looks like. Judai witnesses his friends appear in mirrors before they shatter one by one, all while he mumbles about how he needs to get stronger.
These are all storytelling devices to show Judai's fractured psyche, but Judai is still in control of his actions. Judai talks and responds to questions when he's addressed. Judai's friends confirm that it's still Judai, he's not a puppet or possessed.
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Misawa says later to Judai's face that he and the supreme king are the same person. Judai later is able to use the Supreme King's powers and maintain complete control, because the Supreme King isn't a split personality. Judai even says when Amon is sacrificing someone he loved for power, that he was doing the same thing as the Supreme King, sacrificing everything for power.
We later learn that the ritual that sacrificed four of Judai's friends was a part of Yubel's schemes, but that's the only thing Yubel set up. Judai made every bad irresponsible decision that led to his friends being captured. Judai was the one who snapped and decided to complete Super Polyermization after it was completed. Learning Yubel was behind the sacrifice ritual doesn't take away any agency from Judai at all, because Judai is responsible for his own decisions.
What it does do is create another parallel between them, because we learn the reason Yubel set up the sacrifice was to make Judai walk the same path that they did.
Judai is hurt, abandoned and isolated and in that situation he ends up lashing out at everyone around him in a similiar manner to Yubel. When Judai is put through similiar trauma, he doesn't overcome it in some heroic way because he's an innately good person, no he succumbs and behaves in ways that are incredibly similiar to Yubel.
Even when Judai's friends selflessly try to help Judai, he resists them every step of the way. He ignores their constant calls to him, their comfort, and he even fights them. Judai is eventually reached by the efforts of Jim and Austin combined, but they both die in the effort. Judai is saved because Jim and Austin were way better friends to him than he was to them.
Judai is effectively snapped out of his destructive spiral, but he's left alone with the sobering realization of everything he's done and the blood of two more friends on his hand.
When it's time for our hero to finally face Yubel, he no longer has the moral highground. Now when he faces Yubel it's not as hero and villain, they're just two sides of the same coin. Two people who when they were abandoned, lashed out and hurt everyone around them.
The question is no longer can Judai save Johan. The question now is whether Judai can live with the guilt he's carrying within him, and for that matter can Yubel live with the guilt of what they've done now too?
By this point Judai's been completely deconstructed. He's no longer the hero of the story, he's just a flawed person who needs to fix his flaws. He has the choice to live with his mistakes, and the biggest conflict now is whether he's going to save his villain foil Yubel, or strike them down in order to save the rest of his friends (the three that are left).
This also creates a much more compelling reason for Judai to save Yubel. Not just because Judai is responsible for Yubel's creation, but because they've both made the same mistakes, they have the same traumas and the same scars. Jim and Austin were willing to risk everything to save Judai even when he didn't deserve it, and didn't want it. Now is Judai capable of doing the same thing, of reaching Yubel the way he was reached, not for the sake of saving the world but for helping a friend?
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I just want to save my friend. That's all.
This is to me a very compelling setup for the challenge of whether or not Yubel can be saved. Judai's not really saving a helpless victim, he's not acting out of a sense of duty to sacrifice himself for the world, he's being challenged to save someone who suffers from all the same flaws that he does. Judai and Yubel are so similiar at this point it's really just Judai saving himself.
The Dark Deku Arc - Setup
This is the part where I'm actually going to praise MHA. Shocking I know. Season 1 and 2 of Yu-Gi-Oh GX are about 105 episodes in total. The Dark Deku arc begins at about episode 131 with Deku's decision to leave the hospital by himself to hunt down Shigaraki and AFO alone and try to understand villains better.
The 130 episodes up until that point are much better build up, than the first 105 episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh GX. To put it frankly GX is paced like ass. There's far too much filler, and because of that the plot points the anime is trying to make are delivered less efectively. In fact 105 is a good example of what I said above, that ideas are one thing and execution are another.
Season 2 especially is a season filled with good ideas and weak execution due to pacing. Here's one I use as a go-to example. There's a character named Edo Phoenix who's on a quest to find who killed his father. The ending of his plotline is he discovers that in a twist, the man who adopted him is the one who killed his father, and he's been encouraging Edo to investigate because it lets him spy on the police investigation and keep it off his tail.
That's a good twist - however that twist happens in the same episode that Edo's adoptive father is introduced. The audience is given literally no time to even get to know Edo's adoptive father, or get invested in their relationship so the twist doesn't hit at all. A better paced story would show Edo's relationship to his adoptive father early on, get you invested in them, only to pull the rug out from under you so you would feel the shock of that betrayal alongside Edo.
GX establishes its character cast, and yes the filler does give the cast time to breathe and they're all well characterized but because the plot around them is so poorly structured, none of the plot points really hit. Okay, Edo's adoptive dad is evil. Next! You can have good characters, but if you don't put them in a strong narrative framework that challenges them then those characters are just gonna kinda sit there.
The first 105 episodes of Yu Gi Oh GX does succesfully characterize most of the main cast, but it also feels like everyone's just goofing around. In comparison the first 135 episodes of MHA much more successfully builds an escalating conflict. Each new arc either introduces you to a new facet of the world, makes the amin characters more complex, or adds to the conflict.
We basically go from arc 1 "The hero high school is fun" to Arc 2 "The villains are a serious threat" to the Camp Arc "Oh shit, Shigaraki is learning and the villains are getting stronger."
When Bakugo is kidnapped at the end of the camp arc, the tension is ramped way up with the appearance of AFO, and All Might's retirement.
After that point we're introduced to the Overhaul arc, which not only again makes the League of Villains more complex and sympathetic, but also introduces the audience to All Might's more flawed side - the fact that All Might literally worked himself to death saving others and it still didn't work.
Then My Villain Academia -> The Villains are now a threat and they have an army.
Each arc builds on a previous arc, the characters and the world grow more complex, and it feels like you're learning about these complex issues alongside the characters. It just makes Yu Gi Oh Gx look like the silly card games show by comparison, by setting up this very layered world, and conflict, and heroes that challenge the protagonists on what it means to be a hero and what it means to be a victim.
Then all of that great setup.
We are side by side with the proagonist. We, like Deku now want to see if someone like Shigaraki can be saved. We, alongisde Deku want to better understand the villains and learn to see them as people. We want to know if the corrupt hero system can be salvaged.
However, these are too many questions so let's boil it down to two once more, because this is looking at Deku's character.
Deku and Judai are in some ways different as night and day. Deku is an introverted nerd and the victim of bullying, and he starts out with no quirk at all. Judai is a self-confident, charismatic prodigy who instantly seems to charm and befriend everyone around him. Deku desperately wants to be the hero and works his way up there, whereas Judai is just kind of thrown into the school hero because he's the best at dueling.
Judai is kind of a mix of Bakugo and Deku's traits, he's a self confident prodigy who always wins, but he's also someone obsessed with heroes and who has a hero-complex where he's continually forced to save others.
The Dark Deku arc, like the Supreme King Arc looks to take a darker, more introspective look at Deku's character, while also exposing Deku who is a sheltered kid to the a very grey on grey world. It also seeks to deconstruct Deku's suposed "hero complex". Despite the many differences between Deku and Judai I believe the two questions an be boiled down to the same thing.
Is Deku Selfish?
Is Deku's hero complex a bad thing?
These are the questions the series itself is asking in the deconstruction of Deku's character. Deku himself is asking if there's a better way to save villains tha just beating them down or outright killing them, but we'll discuss that later.
Just like Judai there is some setup before this to give a previously very one-note Shonen protagonist mor depth. Deku and Judai are both people who fit the determined, punchy, solve everything fist fight shonen protagonist to a T, on top of being the one to always show up to fight for their friends. Just like in the beginning of season 3, we do have some hints before this that there's something wrong with this attitude. That there's something about Deku that's not entirely there.
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There's a flashback of All Might talking with Bakugo where Bakugo discusses that the fact that Deku never takes cares of himself or factors himself into the equation when he always puts others first deeply bothers him and there's "something wrong with it" that's made him always push Deku away.
This flashback also leads into a scene where Bakugo pushes Deku out of the way of one of AFO's attacks, telling him to "stop trying to win this on his own." In an attempt to make Deku see that he's not fighting alone this time.
Deku has also been warned repeatedly about the way his power destroys his own body when he uses it, warnings he's repeatedly chosen to ignore. Saving others isn't just a goal for Deku, you could arguably say it's a method of self-harm and that's what unnerves Bakugo. Bakugo even gave a similiar speech in the past, about how someone like Deku shouldn't take all of the bullying that Bakugo has given him over the years and still try to be his friend afterwards. At this point it's not really like Bakugo's done anything other than tone down the constant insults a little bit, he hasn't apologized or anything but even this early in the manga Deku has a tendency to just let Bakugo's treatment of him go. It's not like they were super best friends forever before the bullying started either despite what the shippers might tell you. Bakugo is saying it's weird that this kid just takes it, and takes it, and takes it without fighting back like he doesn't care about how people treat him and Bakugo is right... that is weird!
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Deku either has such low standards for how he's treated that he just lets Bakugo get away with it, or he just doesn't hold a grudge when he is mistreated because his pain and his suffering just always matters less. Either way it's not healthy, and it could be indicative of a deeper problem hiding behind the surface.
Either way there's setup here, because on one hand you have everyone and their grandma praising Deku for his "drive to save others that eclipses all common understanding."
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While at the same time he's criticized by Bakugo for having no regard for others. This could be the setup for the character trait that led to his earlier success leading to his downfall later. In Judai's case, everyone praises his purity of heart, but then that purity is later criticized as childishness, naivete and a refusal to grow up.
As for Deku...
How can you protect others if you can't even bother to protect yourself? How can you save others if you can't save yourself? That's the question Touka asked of Kaneki in Tokyo Ghoul when she rightly called out his desire to protect everyone at the Anteiku Cafe as just a roundabout way of getting himself hurt by acting recklessly.
In Kaneki's case he's not trying to protect anybody, he's just picking battles against the doves and getting himself hurt. He's acting out a hero complex in the sense that if he feels like he didn't fight his friends battles for them like Judai then he wouldn't have any friends to begin with. That's why Touka also says "Besides that, everyone doesn't belong to you. You have no business protecting us."
Is Deku fighting for the same reason? Does he harm himself to protect others because he views himself to be worthless and the only way to demonstrate his worth is try and fight to save others?
We don't get an answer for that question. Judai thinks duels are fun, and he's really good at them, and because he's good at dueling he's made friends. He think to keep those friends he has to keep dueling for the sake of others.
Deku's not motivated by the idea of protecting or keeping his friends, that's a secondary motivation. All we have on Deku is that he feels a strong desire to save others, and that he worshipped heroes like All Might growing up but has a naive idea of what a hero is supposed to be. However, his lack of motivation could be the "something that's missing" just like Judai has.
The GX writers did some hardcore digging into Judai's character by focusing on how shallow he was in motivation compared to everyone else, and showing that to be a symptom of his childish naivete.
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There's also the potential parallel between All Might and Nighteye's breakup, and Deku's decision to leave all his friends behind to hunt for Shigaraki himself.
Even if Deku doesn't have a deeper motivation than just "an unnatural drive to save others" then you could show the effects of Deku walking down the same path that All Might did, the belief that he has to be the one to save everyone singlehandedly and if he rests for a single moment than someone might die, leads to him not only destroying his body, but also doing permanent damage to all of his social relationships.
Even if Deku's motivation isn't too deep, you could still have the traits that led him to earlier success now driving him to ruin as the story punishes Deku for his excessive selfishness.
This is also where we finally get back to Deku's goal of understanding Shigaraki, and contemplating whether or not it's possible to save villains without killing them.
I draw a parallel between this and Judai's enemies calling him out on lacking "darkness of the heart" and that without understanding that darkness he can't win.
Judai's lack of darkness of the heart means two things, he's not mature enough to understand the reason why his enemies are fighting, and he's also not mature enough to se the darkness in his own heart which is why he ends up blind to his own flaws and making pretty severe mistakes later on.
For Deku, it's mainly a lack of understanding of the motivations of the villains he's fighting again, villains he's only ever really beat down with his fists until now.
However, for Deku lacking darkness of the heart you could also re-contextualize that as meaning because of his idealization of heroes he's never once looked at the darker sides of hero society that might have driven people into becoming villains.
Deku's lack of inner darkness may just come from the fact that compared to the villains he's fighting against, he's gotten to live a pampered life. Without understanding that darkness, he can't be a full person because he'll still be a naive sheltered child, and not an adult wise to the way the world works and the moral greys he inhibits. Either way, it's just as necessary for Deku to gain an understanding of "Darkness of the Heart' as it is Judai.
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So here's all the setup for the start of Deku's Dark deconstruction arc. As different as these characters and scenarios you can still boil it down to those three narrative questions about Deku / Judai, is there behavior selfish? Are there hero compelexes a good thing? Do they need to understand darkness of the heart?
Before moving on I'm going to summarize Deku's setup as thus:
Deku's actions are selfless.
Deku's motivations are also selfless (a desire to save others).
Deku does not benefit from saving others in any way, if anything he actively harms himself in order to do so.
Bakugo finds this behavior incredibly disturbing.
All Might destroyed his body and burned all bridges because of similiar flaws to Deku.
So the answer to the first question is Deku selflish? No. Is his hero-complex a bad thing? Potentially.
While Deku himself decides that he needs to understand darkness of the heart in order to better understand villains. Deku is actually more set up to contemplate darkness of the heart than Judai is, because Judai charges into the dark world blindly with only the motivation of saving Johan not even caring for Yubel, while Deku has the explicit motivation of trying to understand the little boy inside Shigaraki.
DEKU LEFT THE HERO ACADEMY
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Deku begins the arc by leaving alone to go searching for Shigaraki, with hand-written letters addressed to all of his friends that tell the truth about One for All and also say Goodbye. He makes the deliberate decision to leave them behind so they don't get targeted alongside of him. It's a pretty classical superhero motivation, I need to cut myself out of my loved ones life in order to protect them. Of course this sort of ignores that everyone in his class has super-powers too, but you know heroes they're all such drama queens.
Is this selfish behavior?
This is going to be the only time I'm going to solidly answer yes. Deku clearly did not take his friends feelings into account. His desire to protect them, is more important than their own agency. They also might want to fight alongside him, they'd be upset if they saw him die or get hurt trying to protect them. Deku thinks of his own feelings of wanting to keep them safe and not being able to handle the emotional burden of protecting him, more than he does their own personal feelings.
This is also something that All Might did they permanently burned all of his bridges with his sidekick and friends, and deeply hurt his sidekick who was just asking him to take a break so he did not get himself killed and quit because he didn't want to watch All Might slowly kill himself by inches.
Deku is being selfish here, and later on when he does face his friends he even acts pretty condescending belittling them and insisting they can't fight on their own or keep up with him.
However, I need to ask a secondary question.
Is there any lasting consequences for this selfish behavior?
Besides the fact that it hurt his friends feelings for a little bit, no. I spent a much longer time covering this in Judai's sections because Judai's selfish behavior led to character conflicts. Judai disregarding his friends led to everyone starting to resent him in the Dark World, and their once tight-knit friend group further falling apart.
Judai on three seperate occasions makes impulsive decisions to run ahead without consulting with the group. The second time he outright lies to the group and sneaks ahead without them. THe second time all of his friends are captured when they go after him and try to follow him to give their support because they're worried about him. The third time he makes the decision to run ahead, he knows about the danger they're in and the risk of getting captured and he just blatantly ignores them. When Austin notices they're missing Judai doesn't even go looking for them because they're not a priority at this point - saving Johan is.
This is something that has very real and lasting consequences in the story, they're captured because of his recklessness, and sacrificed in front of his eyes. Even though they technically come back in season 4, the trust between Judai and his friends is all but gone and he's alone for a lot of Season 4.
Judai's decision to abandon his friends has direct and lasting consequences. He is being punished for his hero complex. Running ahead, and fighting alone against the bad guys is what Judai has always done and what's worked before, but now in a more complicated world it's not cutting it and Judai is being challenged for his flaws.
Deku hurts his friends feelings a little bit, but even in that case the focus is on how sad it is for Deku, how hard it must be to be a noble hero fighting alone.
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Deku's Mary Jane and Spiderman bullshit never impacts his friends directly, other than the fact that they find it slightly condescending. His "I need to keep secrets from my loved ones attitude" is challenged because his friends want to fight alongside him, but there's never any narrative punishment delivered to him. It's just solved with one fight scene and a character holding out their hands. Whereas, the consequences for Judai's rash actions last two seasons.
I call it "Mary Jane and Spiderman" Bullshit, because Spiderman keeping his identity a secret from all his loved ones is a big conflict in the comics. Something that got Gwen Stacy killed, because Peter Parker never told her his identity in order to protect her, and then that just ended up with Norman Osborne finding out about her anyway and kidnapping and killing her.
You might have heard of the "Death of Gwen Stacy" it's a pretty famous moment in comics. It's also a case where it shows that the Hero's failure to communicate honestly with their loved ones in the name of "Protecting Them" can actually get them killed.
There's even consequences in MHA itself for heroes choosing to sacrifice their personal lives to help complete strangers. Shigaraki literally made a whole speech about it. Kotaro Shimura is traumatized for life over his mother's decision to abandon him instead of giving up on being a hero. Nana Shimura believed she was doing something selfless in sending her child into foster care to keep him out of AFO's clutches, but that was shown to be wrong as AFO just found Kotaro's household and then destroyed him later on in adulthood anyway.
So in the story we are shown scenarios where choosing to abandon your loved ones in the name of "protecting them" can have disastrous and lasting consequences, but as for Deku himself, the decision to leave the school has basically no consequences whatsoever.
Well, Deku making the decision to fight alone is something that might lead to some consequences. After all, Judai's breakdown came about because he always felt the pressure to fight alone and carry everyone's weight on his shoulders until he couldn't.
Perhaps, with Deku fighting alone to protect everyone we'll reach a similiar breaking point. Just as Judai couldn't handle carrying everyone's burdens, looking for Johan, and leading his friends into the Dark World all that the same time and eventually broke down maybe we'll see Deku break down because he just like All Might can't carry the burdens of an entire nation - oh wait nevermind he's working with the Top 3 Heroes.
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Even the premise that this is Deku leaving the school, to become something like a vigilante wandering the countryside trying to fight AFO on his own is just incorrect because Deku is receiving government assistance right now.
In the Dark World it was really just Judai and his friends, so every single bad decision Judai made had consequences because they were well and truly alone. Deku has backup so he's not even really "alone" in the arc that's supposed to be about him fighting AFO and trying to understand Shigaraki alone.
ALL YOU'LL FIND IS BLOOD AND VIOLENCE
Let's briefly focus on questions two and three, is Deku's hero complex bad, and does Deku need to understand darkness of the heart?
Judai's hero complex was based on the idea that if he wanted to have friends he needed to fight for them and solve their problems for them.
Judai got in such an unhealthy negative feedback loop, that he had to carry his friends burdens in order to maintain his friendships with them, but at the same time he couldn't receive any help from them because he made their friendship all about him carrying their burdens. He was operating underneath an amazing pressure to always win until he lost. The very thing he did to try to maintain his friendships, keeping his friends at arm's length and fighting alone is exactly what ends up driving them away and leaving him alone.
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But, still...! They're all... They're all gone. There really was something missing in me. But what is it? What was missing? What should a duelist burden themselves with?
Judai paradoxically fights alone in order to keep his friend group together, which only ends up with him losing four friends and being abandoned by the rest when they're disappointed for him in his selfish behavior. Judai screams out why, realizing he did something wrong here, that something went wrong because he's been winning duels, he's been fighting the same way he did before only to end up with the worst option possible. The realization that he is truly alone breaks him down entirely.
Judai's hero complex unwravels when simply charging ahead to fight doesn't work for him anymore, because the situation becomes more complicated than that. Darkness of the heart can mean many things. Judai not understanding his own personal flaws. Judai not seeing how his flaws are affecting others. Judai not looking at other people's emotions, he doesn't hear or respond to criticism when his friends start trying to tell him how is selfish decisions making is making them feel.
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I can't just stay and wait. All this time I've run on instinct, never second-guessing myself. If I just stand still now... I'm sure I won't be able to start running again. And I won't be able to get to Johan.
Judai's hero complex has a clear source - he believes he has to keep running ahead and fighting for his friends the same way he always has in order to keep those friends and if he stops he'll lose everything / succumb to the guilt he now feels about being uanble to save Johan. His Hero Complex also has clear consequences, him running ahead without thinking gets all of his friends kidnapped and used in a sacrifice ritual that could have been avoided if he had made different choices.
Spiderman kills Gwen Stacy because Peter Parker deciding to not tell her about his secret identity to protect her backfired and made her an easy target to the Green Goblin.
Heck, Spiderman's entire character is about how the burden of being Spiderman and his Hero Complex constantly sabotages any attempt he makes at having a personal life. Miguel O'Hara's catchphrase in the incredibly popular Spiderman movie is that "Being Spiderman is a sacrifice" and he's not wrong either.
SO, is the narrative punishing Deku's hero complex in any way?
Well, the one warning he did receive that if he kept fighting he'd lose permanent loss of his arms turns out to not matter anymore because his body is just stronger now.
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So, even the phyiscal toll of fighting alone that's a consequence for Deku doesn't actually apply here.
I keep talking about consequences but what do I actually mean? Am I talking about strictly punishment? Do bad things need to happen to characters in order to get their lessons?
Not necessarily.
When I say "consequences" I mean in terms of actions always having consequences in a story. The best stories are succinct, that means you basically cut down in as many frivolous details in a story as much as possible so everything that happens onscreen is something that matters and contributes to the whole. Therefore, every action should have a consequence directly seen onscreen in story. Stories are all actions and consequences, the choices the characters make should have direct impact on the plots and the other characters because it makes those choices seem like they matter.
If the story constantly draws attention to the fact that Deku is afraid of ducks, but the story takes place on the moon and there are no ducks living on the moon then that's a wasted plot thread because there are no consequences. If a character does something bad, other characters should discuss it, or it should negatively impact them in some way.
When Judai decides to run ahead without all of his friends for the first time after they all agreed on a plan, the result is the next episode they all start talking about their shared doubts with Judai when he's not around. If they all just swept Judai abandoning them under the rug, then Judai running ahead and leaving the others alone doesn't feel like an impactful character flaw.
There's no lasting consequence for Deku's hero complex. It doesn't drive him to any kind of breaking point like it does Judai.
I think the reason why is because there's no real moment of failure for Deku. When he tries to ask Muscular why he fights, and Muscular rejects him and says that he was just born evil and has no deeper motivations, Deku's not frustrated at all.
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Deku who feels a "unnatural desire to save others" isn't really bothered by the fact that Muscular insists that he can't be saved and that they can only fight. Despite this technically being a failure, Deku has failed to talk a villain down, failed to find a way other than fighting and also failed to understand the darkness in someone's heart it's of little consequence because it's not framed as a failure.
Deku just punches Muscular, back to the drawing board.
There's another manga called Choujin X running right now, where the main character is on a similiar quest trying to see if there's a way they can save the big bad Sora Shihouhin, and when he is forced to fight against a villain who won't back down, de-escalate, or listen to reason he has a complete emotional breakdown.
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This is the reaction of someone who's genuinly invested in the idea of saving the villain, and frustrated with the reality that he might not be able to save her, that he can't talk to the villains or convince them to back down. Tokio's not even characterized by an unnatural desire to save others like Deku is, so why is he the one breaking down and not Deku someone apparently so selfless that he wants to save the mass murderer that's trying to destroy society?
If Deku's desire to save others is so strong why doesn't he show frustration at being unable to talk down, or understand Muscular?
Judai is stuck in a negative feedback loop where he's forced to fight for others, because he believes he has no worth to his friends otherwise. All we're told of why Deku feels the need to save everyone around him is that he's just like that, he just feels like saving everyone no matter who they are the moment they come into view.
If we're choosing to characterize Deku that way, then number one he should be attempting to save everyone, and number two the stress of having to save everyone is something that should get to him. His "Hero Complex" should be what's breaking him down at the moment. The unnatural desire to save everyone around him that led him to so much success should be what's punishing him this arc.
Judai felt pressure from two aspects, first the pressure to carry everyone's burdens, and second the lack of understanding of darkness of the heart. Unlike Judai who doesn't want to understand darkness and who avoids it as long as possible, Deku goes into this arc actively seeking to understand how his villains think.
Deku and Judai also suffer from a lack of darkess in their own hearts. This leads to them having empty motivations. Judai has a childish desire to enjoy fun duels. Deku has a childish desire to save everyone. Neither of them have tried to grow or change or even question those motivations in any way and because of that they're stunted people.
Judai doesn't know why he fights. He doesn't question why he fights. He just takes on the burdens of others to give him something to fight for. This all together leaves Judai blind to his own personal darkness, and also because of that blindness he can't grow in any way because he never evaluates himself, he never looks at himself and tries to change.
When he's on his knees and at his breaking point he screams at the top of his lungs, "WHY? WHAT AM I MISSING? WHAT DID I DO WRONG?" simply because Judai's never thought about these things.
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Deku's asked these same questions both in the Dark Deku arc, and hundreds of chapters later he's asked what he's planning on doing as a hero in order to make things better and Deku never materializes an answer.
Pre-Dark Deku Arc, during Dark-Deku Arc and Post Dark Deku arc, Deku always solves his problems by recklessly jumping in and saving others. There's never any point where he's punished or criticized for this behavior in any significant lasting way. He never has to self reflect and develop a reason on why he wants to save others, or eve think about how he's going to save others, he can just keep acting as the rash, impulsive hero.
Judai and Deku are both characters who are empty, and lacking in motivation but Judai is ruthlessly criticized for that until he reaches his breaking point and is forced to look at his motives.
This once again comes from a lack of failure on Deku's part. Deku never fails the way that Judai does. There's a scene where you could have easily had Deku fail. The entire Nagant vs. Deku fight where Deku fails to give her any substantive answers to his questions.
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Imagine if Deku's simple philosophy of always extending a helping hand failed here. Imagine if Deku actually got deeply ivnested in the idea of saving Lady Nagant, and did his beset to talk and reach out to her but his answers weren't enough and because of that she just chooses something like suicide. Imagine he has her by the hand, and she's dangling off of the roof and he thinks that his impressive move to save her should have been enough - he's reached out a hand like always. He thinks this should have won her heart over, by showing her that someone still cares in all of her despair.
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Then, Nagant in one final spiteful move lets go. The person he heard her entire backstory, the person maybe he once was a huge fan of her when she wasa hero, the person he wants to save the same way he wants to save Shigaraki chooses to let go and fall to her death because dying would be better than living in whatever kind of corrupt world that Deku is trying to build.
This could be Deku's Gwen Stacy moment. Spiderman carelessly webs Gwen Stacy whe she's falling to catch her and for a moment he thinks he's saved her because he's overconfident and has caught people falling like this a thousand times, only to find out he's snapped her spine. His overconfidence, his hero complex making him believe everything magically would work out led Gwen Stacy to her death. This could show the simple act of just offering a hand out to someone in need isn't enough, without empathy and understanding.
Instead, AFO just blows Nagant up in Deku's face.
Except, that isn't even a failure bcause Nagant turns out to be just fine! There's no point in blowing up Nagant except for the spectacle of it, because she turns out to be fine five minutes later and even shows up to fight in the next arc.
There's no consequencs to anything that happens in this scene. Deku doesn't suffer any consequences for being blind to the faults of society. (He's working right alongisde a killer cop just like Nagant and he doesn't even care.) Deku isn't forced to reflect on what saving people or making society better would even mean. He also isn't punished for his lack of understanding the way that Judai is.
Afterwards, Deku denies help to a very mentally-ill Overhaul, who is apparently not one of the villains that Deku wanted to save. There's a whole buch of asterisks on that "Deku wants to save everyone***" goal. This also isn't framed or used to paint Deku in a bad light because Overhaul is unworthy of salvation in Deku's eyes for hurting Eri.
Is this action part of an arc? Is Deku reaching his limit with trying to sympathize with villains only to see people like Overhaul and Muscular fighting him every step of the way and telling him they don't want to change?
Nope, this scene is never brought up again.
Deku never fails, and he never does anything wrong. Even when there are situations where you could argue he does do soemthing wrong, like denying the armless, mentally ill Overhaul help - he's not painted as being in the wrong.
The entire arc is supposed to be about criticizing the protagonist for their hero complex, and their lack of understanding of the darkness of the world but for Deku there's no criticism to be had here.
Compare this to the sacrifice ritual in the Supreme King Arc, where not only does Judai fail to save his friends, but the friends that survive ruthlessly tear into him aftewards for his selfish behavior. THe actions of one protagonist matter, have consequences in the story and are criticized. The actions of another protagonist have no real consequences and are never criticized.
The whole mansion blows up and... nothing happens. No one's injured in the explosion. It may as well have not happened in the story because there are no consequences for Deku just continually choosing to blindly run ahead like his hero complex tells him to.
There's evena moment where Deku winds up in a similiar situation to the dark ritual. After receiving information from Nagant, he blindly wanders into a mansion in Haibori woods believing it to be AFO's base, only to find out it was a trap and AFO was waiting for him to blindly charge in all along.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES US HEROES AND VILLAINS
This is where I'm going to talk about another big similarity between Deku and Judai, and also the biggest point of divergence in the Dark Deku and Supreme King Haou arcs.
Deku and Judai are both character foils with Shigaraki and Yubel respectively. This is where I'm going to praise MHA again, surprising everyone.
The foiling between Shigaraki and Deku is masterful. They both started out in relatively the same place, as boys with dreams to become heroes who were softly told no by their parents. Tragedy struck Shigaraki and he killed his family on accident and wound up alone wandering the street for days until he was found by AFO.
They're both the students of the greatest hero and villain of the last generation. They both end up being surrounded by a group of close Nakama that they want to protect. They're both continually challenged to grow up, and show how they're going to be better than their predecessor for the hero and villain sides respectively. They both have to prove they are worthy successors. Shigaraki has all the heroic spunk and determination that Deku has but on the villain's side, and while Deku loves heroes, Shigaraki is hero society's critic wants to bring down the hero system that didn't save him.
You get the feeling that Shigaraki really is Deku just in a different situation, a same person on the opposite sides of the conflict kind of character foiling.
As the biggest Yubel stan here, in some ways the foiling for Shigaraki works better than the foiling for Yubel because Shigaraki isn't just Deku's foil, he's the foil for all of society. Yu-Gi-Oh Gx takes place in a society run where everything centers around card games, it's not really that deep. In My Hero Academia you have that 100 episodes of great setup where Deku is not only learning to look at the darkness within himself, but also the darkness within hero society around him.
Judai's narrative as much as I love it, is entirety about Judai.
Not only could Dark Deku arc develop Deku's character, it could also say something deeper about the world it's taking place it, because Deku has all these connections to Shigaraki, who also kind of represents the orphaned boy failed on all levels by the society around him.
Shigaraki is the shadow of -> Deku, but also Shigaraki is the shadow of -> all of society.
Yubel is the shadow of -> Judai, and only relates to Judai's personal growth.
Yubel is Judai's personal villain, and was created by his actions as a child. His decision to abandon Yubel into space, led to Yubel being tortured and their later madness.
Yubel is also Judai's shadow. They carry all the same flaws, but those flaws are obvious in Yubel and repressed in Judai. Yubel's belief is that Judai is someone who purposefully enjoys hurting their friends, and that's how he shows his love. While that's twisted it's not hard to see how Yubel came to that conclusion. After all, Yubel loved Judai so much only for Judai to abandon them and turn a blind eye to their suffering. In the Dark World, Judai abandons his other friends continually in order to search for Johan, and they wind up suffering too.
While Judai doesn't sadistically enjoy hurting others as Yubel put it, there's an element of truth to Yubel's criticism. Judai does abandon people, Judai isn't as empathic as he seems to be. When Judai is subjected to the same kind of isolation and abandonment that Yubel has endured for the past ten years, Judai loses his mind a whole lot quicker and starts lashing out at everything around him the same way Yubel has. Judai without the love of his friends starts to hurt everyone around him in his lashing out, the same way that Yubel desperate for love starts to inflict pain on the people she loves. Even before the ritual happened, Judai was unwittingly hurting his friends with his own selfish behavior.
Yubel's stated criticism is "of Judai is "Anguish and sorrow born from loneliness. That is the nature of love as you taught it to me" and further beyond that "When you forgot about me, I suffered. It's hot. It hurts. I am in pain. Why? You know how much I love you? Why did you do this to me, Judai? In that moment I realized that was how you showed love. Because you loved me, you hurt me and made me suffer."
That sounds crazy, but hasn't Judai been hurting the people he loved for his own selfish reasons this entire arc? Is it that crazy then to conclude that neglect and abandonment must be how Judai treats everyone he loves, so surely he loves me.
One of the biggest criticisms of this arc is how Judai's behaviors impact his relationships, so of course his most personal villain and foil is his jilted ex nonbinary dragon lover. On a less joking note, when Yubel was displaying troubling behavior as a child, Judai's first response was to abandon them. Which is ironic for someone like Judai so paralyzingly afraid of being abandoned that he became everyone's workhorse and worked himself to death solving their problems for them. Who when abandoned by those friends finally, snaps just as hard as Yubel did when they were abandoned.
Do you see the parallel I'm drawing here? Judai is slotted into the spot of the protagonist who's friends with everyone he meets, who loves and fights for his Nakama. Yet under closer scrutiny he's shown that he doesn't really understand what love or friendship is or how to give and receive love from others in a healthy way. His antagonist is his former childhood best friend, who is obsessed with love and demands that Judai love them back. Judai's lack of understanding of relationships and love takes a dark twist with Yubel, their shadow, foil and antagonist.
These are once again very personal challenges to Judai, society doesn't really factor into this equation. Though, Judai is somewhat challenged as a hero because there's an irony to Judai plunging into the world to save his best friend Johan who he's known for like three weeks, but not really lifting a finger to save the antagonist of the arc Yubel who he's known since childhood and is personal responsible for putting through torture.
That hypocrisy there too, is a personal challenge to Judai that paints him in a less heroic light. He wants to save Johan and ignore Yubel because it's easier, because saving Johan relieves him of his guilt. He doesn't even know what to do about Yubel, so he doesn't try and falls back on his previously established behavior of playing the hero.
The hero is really just a mask for Judai at this point, something the story has ripped right off of his face by the time it comes to face Yubel.
There are two ways in which Yubel serves as an ultimate foil to Judai.
Yubel acts like a callout post to all of Judai's flaws
Yubel represents a dark path Judai could have taken.
This second one is what Shigaraki and Deku have in Common with Judai + Yubel. There's something deeply tragic about the idea that while Deku was making friends, getting taught by a loving teacher like All Might, Shigaraki was all alone being pushed by a ruthless manipulator like AFO into becoming the worst villain.
Judai and Yubel's lives follow the same tragic parallel path. They began in the same place as childhood friends, but after abandoning Yubel, Judai spent the next ten years growing up, making friends in a healthy and safe envirnoment while Yubel the one who was abandoned was alone in space desperately crying for Judai to come save them only to be ignored because Judai has long forgotten them.
However, there's a striking difference there too. Yubel is created directly by Judai's neglect and actions. Whereas Shigaraki is created by the neglect of all of society, it's not Deku's fault directly.
#1 Shigaraki acting as a callout post to Deku's Flaws
However, this is where Shigaraki's callout post comes in. Shigaraki gives a long speech on how the existence of heroes itself, creates villains like him.
"You heroes pretend to be society's guardians. For generations you pretended not to see those you couldn't protect and swept their pain under the rug. It's tainted everything you've built. That means your system's all rotten from the inside with maggots crawling out. It builds up little by little, over time, you've got the common trash all too dependent on being protected. And the brave guardians who created the trash that need coddling. It's a corrupt, vicious, cycle. Everything I've witnessed. This whole system you've built has always rejected me. Now I'm ready to reject it. That's why I destroy. That's why I take power for myself. Simple enough, yeah? You don't understand because you can't understand, that's what makes us heroes and villains."
To break it down simply, heroes look away from the faults in their society, they intentionally ignore the people they cannot save, and when those people turn into villains the heroes beat them down hard. The villain attacks then convince the common people of the need for heroes, and the cycle perpetuates itself. This is all powered by the people's blind, uncritical faith in heroes.
Deku is a person who has that same blind, uncritical faith in hereoes, and until this point has never thought of Shigaraki as anything more than a villain to be punched until he stops. Which is why this is still a callout post that applies to Deku, because Deku's blind admiration for the Hero System is part of the problem that enables the very flawed hero system.
Deku does not understand darkness of the heart, therefore Deku does not understand that heroes could possibly be bad, and he could possibly be supporting a bad system until he's slapped in the face with it.
However, is there a lasting consequence for Deku's blind support of the hero system?
Nope.
I just described up above what could have been a consequence, if Lady Nagant refused to have faith in Deku since he didn't back his words up with action.
Deku also clearly does not want to break away from the corrupt hero system that created Shigaraki, because the heroes that he brought along to fight with him are Endeavor, Hawks and Jeanist, a child abuser, a state sponsored murderer, and a guy who makes bad puns. He doesn't change any of his bahavior that enables the corrupt system to stay in power.
Not teaming up with the Top 3 heroes, and deciding to go full vigilante would have at least have been breaking away from that system.
This circles around to a big underlying problem in this whole arc in that Deku isn't really doing anything different from what he was doing before, and he's not punished for his character stagnancy either.
So we're left with.
#2 Shigaraki represents a dark path that Deku could have Taken
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This is where Judai / Yubel succeeds and Shigaraki / Deku falls flat on its face.
When pushed to his absolute limit after failing repeatedly, Judai snaps. With no friends left he decides that all that matters is power. This path seems natural for him because we've already seen what being abandoned and left alone can do to a person and how it twisted Yubel. The story hints again and again at Judai's blood knight tendencies, and that he thinks the only thing he has of value to offer others is strength by fighting for them.
He loses his friends and the fighting is all he has left.
At the point of despair he decides to just embrace power. If he cares about nothing more than strength, at least that will give him some sense of control over his life after the out of control tragedy that happened to him.
"Yuki Judai. In order to defeat evil, one must become evil. In a world with the law of the jungle at work, one must rule with power." "Power? I don't have that kind of power." "In your hand lies the super polymerization card. Defeat any spirits who may oppose you, and combine their lives into it to perfect the card."
Supreme King is just a villain persona that Judai adopts to as a protetive blanket for all the hurt and pain they've gone through, just like ding, ding, ding, the villain persona Shigaraki Tomura is for Shimura Tenko.
Judai snapping under such intense pressure shows us that if even the faultless hero can snap, then how much can we blame the villain for snapping under similar circumstances? Maybe the reason both the hero and the villain fell is because they're both equally human and to fall down is human.
Deku never falls down as hard as Judai does. He doesn't even fall down and scrape his knee. There's no instance where he fails to save anyone. There's no instance where his actions hurt anyone. There's no instance where he takes things too far and hurts a villain. I kow it's unlikely for Deku to turn into a villain, but he could have at least gotten so frustrated he turned into a punisher style vigilante! Is that too much to ask?
There's not even a single moment where Deku goes too hard in a fight and injures or even kills a villain. They could have pulled an "I thought you were stronger" moment like in Invincible.
I don't know why this is called the Dark Deku arc because there's no darkness in Deku's heart for him to exploit, nor is he actually called to better his understanding of the darkness in others hearts. Judai understands Yubel's darkness because by the end of his personal arc he's been there, he's not the hero he's the atoner. He can either punish Yubel, or hold a hand out to help Yubel atone.
Deku's arc might as well be called the "My Little Pony Friendship is Magic Arc" because he never does or confronts anything dark. His worst crime is not showering. All that isolation and his repeatd failures in hunting AFO down should have worn Deku down, but it didn't because he's just that special of a boy!
Deku's hero complex also is completely uncriticized from beginning to finish. Judai's hero complex is an unhealthy behavior that utterly destroys him. Deku's hero complex is a job interview flaw.
FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC
Just to hammer my point in I'd like to compare these two scenes. One is in the middle of the Supreme King Arc, the sacrifice ritual scene where all of Judai's friends are blaming him for the fact that they're about to be sacrificed while he's still trying to save them.
The second is the climax of the Dark Deku arc, where all of Deku's friends are showing up to fight him and convincing him to accept their help.
Just look at how vastly different these two shows treat their shonen protagonists when it comes to his flaws.
For the ritual sacrifice scene. This is immediately after Manjoume wakes up to find that he has been chained and kidnapped with Judai standing right there.
Judai: Sit tight! I'll save you soon! Manjoume: Wait, is he dueling? JUdai you damned idiot! Weren't you going to save Johan with us!? Getting yourself all flared up. You didn't even stop to think about us at all, did you? Judai: That's not it. Manjoume: That's just how you are! You were the only one in your kingdom from the get-go. We were the idiots for getting all motivated with you and feeling some sense of friendship with you being like that!
Then Judai watches helplessly as Manjoume dies. His other friends don't fare much better.
Kenzan: Big Bro? Why'd you want to save Freed's comrades when it meant sacrificing us-don!? Judai: You're wrong. That's not it. Fubuki: It's painful. This pain isn't just physical. It's the pain of a friends' betrayal that I have tearing my soul. apart. Asuka: I'm being betrayed and sent away by you. To think that I'll have to bear a sadness like this.
All of Judai's friends die spitting on him and telling him what a terrible friend he is and that this is all his fault. Which it is, because his decision to abandon them got them captured and led up to the sacrifice ritual.
Now, what scathing criticisms do our heroes have to give Deku after he left them all behind to fight Shigaraki alone?
Denki: Midoriya! We get that all for one is really importnat but you got something even more important in your life! Me and you we aint'g otta ton in common, but you're still a friend! Even if we gotta force this friendship down your throat. TodorokI: What a look you have on your face. Is this resposnibility so much that you can't let yourself cry? Seems like a burden you should share with the rest of us. Uraraka: The thing is Deku, we don't want to be protected by you and reject who you are and what you're doing, we just want to be with you (this part is narration).
Deku is told that none of his friends are mad, they want to be by his side no matter what, and that it's okay for him to cry.
I should also mention how underdeveloped this supposed nakama group is in the manga itself. The entirety of Season 3 of GX is tha the bond between Judai and his friends are more shallow then it appears, but he's also spent two whole seasons bonding with a group that consists of: Asuka, Sho, Kenzan, Fubuki, Manjoume. That's six people total including Judai who serve as is primary friend group. Their friendship is more unhealthy than it appears, but Judai has spent the past two seasons hanging out with one small friendgroup.
Meanwhile the entirety of Class 1-A shows up to tell Deku how much they love him and how much he means to them, and Deku's hung out with maybe like... four of them?
You have one bond shown to be how shallow it is, and one shallow bond treated like it's the deepest, most loving friend group in all of fiction. Deku doesn't even receive some lgiht criticism for how inftantalizing it was for him to abandon them for their own protection, because no one resents Deku or is capable of holding any negative or critical emotions towards him whatsoever. He's just told how much everyone loves him and wants him to come home.
And yes, Judai also does get two characters sacrificing themselves to try to reach him when he's the Supreme King.
However, as I stated above Jim sacrifices himself to help Judai because that's who JIm is as a person. Austin does it after Jim fails, both to honor his friendship with Jim, and also because of someone who got scared and ran he feels like he has to confront the darkness of the heart.
Jim and Austin O'brien's sacrifice is also a sacrifice. They died trying to save Judai, and Judai has to wake up with the knowledge that not only did he kill a bunch of people in his quest for power, he killed two more friends who were only trying to help him.
At the end of the arc, Judai has woken up with the knowledge that he has done bad things that can't be taken back and he's barely better than Yubel at this point.
At the end of the Dark Deku arc, Deku gets a speech from Uraraka about how amazing and selfless he is, and how he never gives up and how he always pushes forward, and how everyone at the UA shelter should appreciate him more.
The Supreme King arc exists to criticize Judai. The Dark Deku arc does nothing but flatter Deku from beginning to end.
Judai's hero mask is ripped off and he's forced to be a person. Deku's hero mask stays on, his hero complex is unchallenged, and he's praised for being teh greatest hero evarz.
I often get accused of not liking MHA simply because I expect it to be a different story than what it is. That I want it to be darker, when it's a more optimistic shonen manga.
However, here's my secret. I hate edgy superheroes. I don't like watching stuff like The Boys because it gets too dark for me. The oly reason I read invincible is because my friend told me that Omni-Man got a redemption arc. My favorite DC Superhero is Superman. My favorite Superhero of ALL TIME is Spiderman.
The thing about Spiderman though, is that it is hard to be Spiderman. The entire point of Peter Parker's character is that he has a terrible work/life balance and constantly loses people around him because being Spiderman is a sacrifice. The story doesn't bend over backwards to praise Spiderman as being a selfless hero, in fact it points out what a loser he is constantly. Peter Parker's friends are always frustrated with him and he's a wreck of a person.
Yet, the fact that being Spiderman is such a sacrifice and he keeps choosing to make it, shows what kind of person Peter Parker is, and that's just a person who does whatever he can to help out.
Even Peter Parker, the nicest, most well-intentioned boy ever has the Symbiote arc. One of the most famous arcs in comics dealing with Peter is when he lets Venom graft onto his suit, and even though the symbiote makes him violent, and makes his behavior change he spends the longest time not wanting to peel it off because the power boost the symbiote suit gave him made his life that much easier.
Dark Deku is an obvious reference to the Venom Suit, but a completely shallow reference because Dark Deku acts exactly the same as regular Deku the only reason he looks like that is he forgot to take a shower.
Superhero stories don't need to be Dark Deconstrutions, but they do need to be SOMETHING. They need to say something about the character. The problem with the Dark Deku arc isn't that Deku didn't experience a villain arc.
It's that nothing of consequence happened in the entire arc. Nothing changed. The story asked us if Deku's hero complex was a bad thing, and then it didn't deliver any answer. The story asked us if Deku needs to understand darkness better and then didn't answer that.
These are ideas that the audience promised were going to get answered. We were told Deku was going to get his development this arc that he was going to be pushed to the edge. The entire premise of this arc was that it was supposed to better help Deku understand Shigaraki and Hero Society only for Deku to not learn about either of those things.
Deku's learned nothing. We've learned nothing. Nothing has changed in the story itself. The only thing we've accomplished was wasting a lot of time that we could have been using watching Yu-Gi-Oh GX!
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