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freak-accident419 · 1 month

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You Can’t Spell ‘FWB’ without ‘Friend’

Derek Danforth x GN!Reader

Summary: Ever since the night before, you and Derek had become best friends with benefits. Bored at a fancy rich person party, you two decide to hook up again. However, when you’re inexplicably taken out of the mood, you two decide to do something else for the night: hang out like the best friends you were.

Word Count: 2.9k

Content: 18+ content, MDNI, (graphic descriptions of) sex (awkward), cursing, mentions of drugs, (best) friends with benefits, platonic (but you can interpret it as potentially romantic), short read, reader and Derek are just best pals that fuck, slightly ooc Derek, reader is rich/famous like Derek, attempt to hook up in the bathroom at a party (end up hanging out instead), smoking, drinking, Star Wars references, very chaotic

(A/n: Dedicating this to my wifey @xcherryerim 🫶 your post awaiting this fic meant a lot to me :3)

Holy fuck, you wanted to gouge your eyes out.

You had a glass of wine in your hand, staring at the crowd of old, wealthy hags, sipping the drink briefly out of boredom.

You were at yet another fancy party in some rich person’s mansion, accompanied by your best friend Derek, the son of President Jessica Danforth and CEO of Danforth Enterprises. You had been good friends with him for a very long time, the two of you always stirring up trouble whenever together.

You stare down at the deep scarlet of your drink, intensely zoning out as you thought about the night before. A pair of hands caressing the skin on your thighs, legs tightening around hips, wrists held above your head, and loud, sultry moans and sounds filling the room.

And then you snapped out of it as you felt a tap on your shoulder. You looked up to see exactly him—Derek.

“This party is ass,” you grumble to him, taking a sip from your drink.

“I know,” he replies, sipping his. “Any luck with finding investors?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I have people doing that for me,” you scoff.

“Right,” he nods.

“Any luck with convincing some poor girl to invest in crypto?” You ask, looking at him as you raise an eyebrow.

“Nope,” he answers with a sigh, but a smile was plastered on his face.

You chuckled at his reply. “Hah. I’m not surprised. Crypto is fucking ridiculous.”

“Hey, fuck you.”

“Hm, you already did. What, once isn’t enough for you?” you retort quickly, sneering.

Derek’s eyes widened in response, frantically looking around to see if anyone heard you, then whispered, “Would—Would you be quiet?” He stressed under his breath. “Don’t say that fucking shit out loud, what if somebody heard?”

Last night didn’t really mean to happen. Like the close friends you were, you hung out with Derek at his mansion as you regularly do. However, one thing led to another because of a bottle of pinot noir and the unfortunate appearance of a sex scene in a movie you two watched together. Accordingly, you woke up sore the next morning. You two had established that it was just hooking up, no strings attached—but nobody could know about your arrangement. Not your friends, not your co-workers, and especially not Derek’s mother. While he was known for being promiscuous, the press couldn’t find out that Derek had hooked up with you, not only a good friend of Derek, but someone who was well known in the media due to their wealth.

You roll your eyes carelessly as flashes from last night began to cloud your mind. His fast breaths, his body, his skilled hands. Yet you shook it off easily. “Oh, come on, Derek, these old, ancient fucks can’t hear shit.” An old woman looked at you in disapproval after hearing you swear, walking away from you. “Okay, well, she heard that, but nobody’s gonna know! Don’t get your fuckin’ Louis Vuitton boxers in a twist.”

“They’re not—” he huffs in annoyance. You weren’t taking this seriously, which ultimately frustrated him; your carelessness reminded him too much of himself. “Y/n, who knows what’ll happen if anyone finds out? Like, you know I have to keep my fucking reputation up, and you do too. I don’t think there’s anything Wallace could do if the press found out we hooked up.”

You pause briefly until a smirk creeps up onto your lips in realization. “You regret it, don’t you?”

“No, of course I don’t regret it,” he answers immediately. Not regretting it was clearly an understatement. He really enjoyed last night, every second, every feeling. So he was slightly confused as to why you even doubted him. “Why do you ask?”

“It’s just—” you stutter out, “I woke up and you were gone, you know.” You mutter as you took out a cigarette, placing it into your mouth and lighting it.

His mouth went dry and he pursed his lips promptly. “I had to be at Danforth Enterprises,” he says, watching you exhale the smoke from your cigarette.

“Yeah, well, you could’ve sent me a text or written a note,” you shrug. “Like, it’s your house, dude. I was supposed to be the one leaving the morning after, not you.”

“Right, sorry,” he says simply. “Force of habit.” —It was true; he had an infamous history of one-night stands.

“Plus, I’m your best friend,” you reason. “I don’t want this to, like, ruin everything we had. Like, you’re still my buddy to me.”

He looked at you with a slightly amused grin. “Hey, nothing’s gonna change between us, alright? As you said, you’re my best friend, and it’s always gonna stay that way.” You chuckled, offering him a smile as you heard his response. He could be sentimental whenever he wanted. “Look, the day our friendship will ever change is the day I’ll shut down UDG and Nine Star. Which is basically, like, fucking never. Don’t worry about it.” Even as he said the last sentence, this could be interpreted in two different ways. The first one is that he’d never be in some sort of greater relationship with you, likewise his reluctance to stop scamming. The second one, however, implies that if he ever got into something serious with you, a moral obligation will arise, forcing him to shut down his unethical phishing companies just for you. Right. That sounded ridiculous. It was definitely not the latter.

The two of you both took a sip of your drink in unison.

“But, like,” he began, swirling his glass of wine in his hand engagingly, “Is this gonna be, like, a regular thing?”

You raise an eyebrow curiously after taking a sip of your own. “Like, hooking up?” He nods. “I mean… Whatever happens, happens.”

“Uhh, how do you mean?”

“Like, if it was a one-time thing, so be it. But if it’s gonna become regular, then also so be it,” you took a drag of your cigarette. “Doesn’t really matter. We can just, like, do whatever we want. Nothing has to be all predetermined. If we feel like fucking, then we’ll fuck. If not, then great, another day of walking normally.”

“Right,” he says.

You were bored.

So fucking bored.

You dressed all fancy for nothing, you feel. You were obligated to go the same reason Derek had: your wealthy, famous status. But it was so underwhelming and useless, even. As long as you made an appearance, then that should’ve been enough for everybody.

You put out your cigarette and finish your wine, nearly chugging it.

“Hey,” you tap on Derek’s shoulder, making him turn around to look at you after he had been gazing at a potential crypto girl. “Wanna do a quickie in this rich loser’s bathroom?”

He raises an eyebrow in interest.

***

You were held up against the wall of the bathroom, legs wrapped around Derek’s hips as his hands held you by your thighs, pounding his cock in and out of you at a fairly quick pace. Your hands held onto his arms and your chin rested on his shoulder tiredly as the occasional skin slapping against skin sound echoed in the room, hearing Derek grunt with almost every thrust.

You felt slightly uncomfortable and awkward. Like, you weren’t really aroused. It felt… dry? You didn’t know what you meant by that, but the friction was just… unsatisfying. He was grazing your walls in a way that just made it feel like burning, increasing your discomfort. But at least he looked like he was enjoying this. Good for him, you guessed.

This never happened before, so it was sort of… really weird to you, to say the least.

To be honest, you were kind of bored. Like, really bored. How the hell were you still bored? You temporarily escaped an old rich people party to have rigorous sex in their bathroom with your best friend, but you were still bored.

“Shit…” you mutter, disgruntled, as he moved consistently inside you, the burning sensation catching up with you. “What the fuck? Why does—ow—Why the fuck is this hurting?”

Derek pulls his head away from your shoulder and looks at you in concern, his dick still inside of you. “Are you okay? Should I go slower?” He offers, raising an eyebrow as he searched for hesitance in your eyes, then looking you up and down.

“Yeah, sure, okay,” you nodded. “It’s whatever, just—just keep going,” you dismiss in a low murmur. As he starts again at a slower pace, you still had an uncomfortable expression on your face. He was moving his hips but all you felt was mere irritation.

“Okay, what—what the hell?” You groan as you still felt shitty, resulting in Derek stopping his thrusts.

“What’s the issue? Am I still going fast? Should I slow down more?”

“Yeah, uh, probably, yeah,” you say as your head goes back on his shoulder. He proceeds with his movements, his cock sliding in at an even slower pace, stretching your walls more intricately.

“Is this—is this better?” He asks as he moves patiently, steadily moving in and out of your body.

And it wasn’t even a minute in before you would interrupt again.

“Umm… Actually I,” you begin, sighing, “I’m just—I don’t know, I’m not feeling it.”

Derek slides out, still holding you up against the wall by your thighs and raises an eyebrow, looking into your eyes. “Seriously?”

You nod simply.

“Okay, what’s wrong?” He asks, unsure if it was something on his part.

“I don’t know, I’m just not really feeling it,” you reply awkwardly.

“Weren’t you the one who brought it up—”

“I’m not feeling it anymore, dude, I’m sorry!” you exclaim, throwing your hands up in surrender.

He puts you down as you put your clothing back on. As you slip your underwear back on, you look at him standing by the same spot by the wall. “Are you still hard?” You ask, raising an eyebrow insightfully.

“Yup,” he shrugs shamelessly.

You sort of felt bad, since you were the one who had the idea of fucking in the bathroom in the first place, making him all riled up.

You sigh softly and you two look at each other in silence. You let out a quiet huff.

“Want me to jerk you off?”

Soon after his release, he put his boxers and pants on leisurely. You were in front of the mirror, trying to fix your hair and clothing, ensuring that you didn’t just come back from a sexual experience in the bathroom.

“Dude, look at how much expensive perfume these jagoffs own,” you chuckle amusedly, looking down at the bathroom sink counter. On the surface were several perfumes of Armani, Burberry, Dolce & Gabbana, as well as a few lotions.

“Hey, don’t—don’t touch those, Y/n.” Too late. You sprayed him with one.

You two grimaced at the scent.

“Well shit, I didn’t even know what I expected,” you cough severely, waving your hand around your nose as you despised the shitty perfume’s smell.

“I told you not to touch them, idiot,” he huffs, buckling his belt as he scowled at the odor.

“Don’t be a dickwad, you totally would’ve been curious enough to try them too,” you scoff, looking through the cabinets of the bathroom mirror and sinks. “Hey, look,” you smirk, throwing a small object at him that you had found.

He caught it involuntarily with his hands and inspected the item: it was a bottle of Viagra. He raised an eyebrow, looking at you and laughed softly. “I am not surprised that these old fucks can’t get it on,” he threw it back at you and you shelved it back in its original place.

You watch him take a hit from his vape and you sigh from boredom. You didn’t want to be in this bathroom any longer, but you definitely didn’t want to be out in the party either.

“Dude, I’m bored,” you whine as he handed you his vape pen.

“‘Sup Bored, I am Derek,” he muttered sarcastically, under his breath. You rolled your eyes and handed him back his vape once you were done with it.

“Can you—can you not?” you mumble exasperatedly in response as he just raised an eyebrow in amusement.

“Okay, let’s go,” he says, making his way towards the door, “We’re getting out of here, you can ride with me.”

“Hold on,” you interject quickly. “We should—I mean—I should probably wait a few minutes after you leave the bathroom to get out. You know, so no one will suspect us if we were to, like, walk out of the bathroom together.”

“Right. Yeah. Yeah, you have a point,” he nods.

You had to be careful from now on, realizing that just through the mere plan of leaving the bathroom alternately. This meant you had to be more delicate and thoughtful with every action and word that came from you—and Derek’s—to keep this messy secret.

***

You were laid on the bed beside Derek, one hand tangled in his hair and the other holding an ice cream cone as the bright colors of the TV in front of you nearly blinded your eyes. Your arm was propped up behind Derek’s head in order to play with his hair, feeling the soft curls brushing your palm and fingertips. The two of you looked intensely at the screen as you ate your ice cream in one hand, which was graciously prepared by Derek’s personal chef.

“Dude, Jar Jar Binks was definitely a Sith Lord,” you blurt in a low mutter. Derek turns his head and looks at you in befuddlement.

“What? No. Y/n, no, no, no, do not get started on this again—”

“I’m just saying, dude, that whole ‘goofy idiot’ appearance was hiding the fact that he was a powerful Sith Lord!” You exclaim passionately. “Have you seen his fighting style?”

“Yes, I’ve seen his fighting style, and it looks as if he’s chugged twenty fuckin’ martinis, then atrociously became crossfaded through several, reckless bong rips,” he replied straightforwardly.

You pause briefly as you realized. “Derek, I swear, if that was a reference to that one hangover I had back in December, I swear fucking to god—”

He met you with silence.

You nearly whisper, “Was it?”

The smirk that rose onto his lips told you everything, and you playfully smacked the top of his head since your hand was already there before, tangled in his hair. “Ow,” he muttered, yet his smirk never ceasing. “Look, all I’m saying is that I respect you for that. You are, like, the craziest person I know in the best fucking way possible.”

“Uh, thanks, I guess,” you mumble, fighting the inevitable curl of your lips that formed a flattered, soft grin. “Okay, anyways, all I’m saying, is that not only was it a tactic to trick his opponents, but he could’ve also been using the force! And how many times has he avoided death?”

“Okay, Y/n, that’s enough, lay off the grass,” he jokes, letting out a low snicker. “How is Jar Jar even relevant? We—we aren’t even watching the prequels, isn’t this The Empire Strikes Back?”

“No, I’m pretty sure we’re watching Return of the Jedi,” you say confidently.

“No, this is—this is definitely Empire Strikes Back,” he refutes, then pauses. “Did we seriously forget?”

“Well, there’s a billion of movies in this franchise, so we’re bound to mix up its titles. Hm, well, it can’t be The Empire Strikes Back, because Return of the Jedi is the one with that sexy Leia outfit,” you reason, shrugging. Derek raises an eyebrow. “Okay, okay, you know what, this isn’t even the point, the point is, that Jar Jar is relevant because it’s fuckin’ Star Wars!”

“Whatever,” Derek rolls his eyes with an amused grin that swiftly transitioned into a mischievous smirk. “You look like Jar Jar,” he mumbles.

You let out a playful, offended gasp. “Oh yeah? You look like Jabba the Hut.”

His head turned directly towards you and let out a exaggerated gasp as well. “Fuck you, you look like Yoda!”

“And you look like that fucking gremlin-looking piece of shit that’s Jabba’s pet!”

“Yeah, well, you look like—”

This continued a little longer until the both of you got too tired, unable to think of any more ugly Star Wars characters to compare each other to—which then resulted in a peaceful truce.

Your fingers proceeded to play with Derek’s curls as you took a bite of your ice cream, then letting your head rest on his shoulder. With this action, however, you suddenly thought about the night before and how things had led up to that event.

“Hey, are there any sex scenes in this?” You ask quietly, feeling his short strands of hair tangle loosely around your fingers.

He scoffs with a slight grin. “It’s a fucking Star Wars movie.”

You two burst out laughing. “Right, right, that’s—you have a point,” you giggle, catching your breath. “Oh, thank god, then.”

“Why? Are you that against having a repeat of last night?” He accuses, attempting to sound more playful, rather than the genuine concern that he felt.

“No, it’s just—” You struggled to think about how you wanted to word it. “I really like this. You know? I’m too tired, I’m very comfy, I…” You nuzzled further into his neck as your head rested on his shoulder. “This is nice. I like this.”

He smiles warmly to himself. “I like this too.”

The rest of the night was quite tame. You finished your ice cream before you finished the movie. Except, you didn’t really finish the movie entirely, because you two fell asleep in each other’s arms in the middle of it. Yet seen through your easy laughter and smiles, you were reassured indubitably: nothing was ever going to change between the two of you.

#derek danforth #derek danforth x reader #derek danforth x you #derek danforth x gn!reader #derek danforth smut #the beekeeper #the beekeeper movie #the beekeeper fanfic #josh hutcherson #josh hutcherson x reader #mike schmidt x reader #josh futturman x reader #clapton davis x reader #gender neutral #gender neutral reader

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beatificwrites · 1 year

Text

—VALENTINE ##

pairing: joel miller x gn!reader

a/n: here’s a SUPER late valentine!! first joel fic!! i love tlou and pedro

WORD COUNT: 2.2K

CONTENT: established relationship!!

PREMISE: joel’s never rlly celebrated valentine’s day, especially since the outbreak, but after some convincing, he’s willing to make the day special just for reader

The advent of February meant that the famous romantic holiday was coming up and you were ecstatic. Pre-outbreak, you spent a few valentines by yourself and when you didn’t, none were up to your standards, unfortunately.

Not that you were expecting a dozen of bouquets along with a box of chocolate covered strawberries or any other form of love bombing. During those relationships, all you wanted was a simple day for you and your partner to relax and share meaningful gifts that you’d keep forever.

You had yet to find a person that could mean that much to you or provide that for you.

Post-outbreak, you didn’t have the time nor the energy to find such a thing. You moved around with a few groups and made friends, but that was it.

Until you moved to Jackson last year and met Joel.

Joel gave you a reason to push forward and to keep fighting against the end of the world.

You two found it difficult to warm up to each other at first, but within a few runs, things changed drastically.

Beyond the grump exterior, you discovered a man that was actually caring and protective. He could be hilarious at times with the puns he shared, which, you later found out were all stolen from Ellie.

Your relationship quickly moved from run buddies to two people who couldn’t keep away from each other.

Ellie caught on and she would constantly poke fun at you both; saying you two should basically just do it already.

Joel would look away awkwardly and tell her to shut it, meanwhile you would laugh and scold her for being so crass.

Now, almost a year of being together, you were so ready to spend this special day with him. Even if he thought the idea was silly.

“Honey, I appreciate you everyday. All my days with you are special.” Joel reasoned as he took his boots off by the front door.

He had just come back from talking to Tommy and Maria about something and you were on the couch reading a book you had picked up on your last run.

“Well, that doesn’t mean Valentine’s gets a free pass.” you said back, looking up from your book.

You have been trying to convince him for the past two days.

“Who even celebrates that anymore?” he asked with his brows furrowed.

He made his way over to you and gave your head a kiss before sitting down across from you. Your legs were stretched out before, so he placed them both on his lap.

You scoffed and spoke with a matter-of-factly tone, “Um, hello, couples still do! And didn’t you hear the council’s getting together to decorate the town?”

All he gave you was a “really?” kind of look.

You proceeded with, “even if it’s not that big of a deal anymore, we could still celebrate us, you know?”

“I would think about it, but Tommy and I got a run tomorrow.” he gave a long sigh.

You tossed your book aside and scoffed again, “you’re kidding! For what?”

“The community’s low on medicine.” he quickly said.

“They can’t send anybody else? I don’t know, somebody who isn’t as old and tired as you to go?” you questioned, genuinely concerned.

“Excuse me?” he squinted, not liking you bringing up the fact that he’s old.

“Oh my gosh, you know I’m right. Plus, you and I both know you need a damn break! They can’t just take advantage of you.”

“I’m Maria’s in-law, I should help out a bit.” he stated.

“By a bit, do you mean a whole lot?” you fired back.

“I can take care of myself.” he affirmed as he raised his tone.

“Then, you would know that you should stay home!” you suddenly yelled.

He moved to get up and though a little upset, he gently pushed your legs off.

“I’m leaving at dawn and goin’ on that run, end of discussion.” he asserted before disappearing upstairs.

It was your turn to let out a long sigh. He’s so stubborn.

You knew he didn’t like admitting he was getting there, partially because it most certainly meant that he couldn’t do as much as before.

You found it amusing, to be honest. Sure, the pandemic allowed him to stay fit through the ages, but it was catching up to him. You worry.

You figured it would be best to leave him be for bit, until he was ready to rethink about leaving tomorrow.

You sat up and began to think of what to get him. Joel might not want to do anything, but that wasn’t going stop you from getting him a little something. Just a small token of your appreciation.

You picked up your book and continued to read until you felt so tired that you couldn’t process the words on the pages anymore.

You sluggishly went up the stairs and saw his figure knocked out on your shared bed.

“Stinky.” you teased, groggily as you realized he didn’t even wash up.

You did though, before heading to bed and falling asleep right next to him.

───────── ☆

You woke up as you heard the rooster sing. Your eyes were still shut as you patted the bed next to you to check for Joel. Not there, hmph.

Your eyes fluttered as they adjusted to the bright, morning sun. You stretched out and yawned before hopping out of bed and starting the day.

After brushing your teeth, you made your way downstairs and saw the yellow note Joel left on the coffee table.

‘be home before nightfall’ it read.

You tossed the note aside and got started on breakfast. Ellie always stopped by for a bite.

As you took out the necessary ingredients, you came up with a great idea. You’d stop by the wood shop later and ask Rose, the owner, if she could carve your initials onto a piece. Maybe try to make it heart shaped.

If you could find a piece of paper to write on, you would write him a cute love letter too. Yeah, you’ll do that.

Ellie barged in with a loud, “MORNING!”

You grinned, “good morning to you too, Ellie.”

“Where’s Joel?” she asked as she took a seat at the dining table.

“He’s out on duty with Tommy. He left early this morning.” you replied, turning the stove on.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” was all you said.

There was a pause before Ellie spoke, “Maria said they found a few romance movies they’d be playing in the theater tonight. Cat invited me, do you wanna come too?”

You stirred the egg yolk around a bit before saying, “No, I think I’ll just wait for Joel, if that’s alright with you.”

“Sure, whatever. Lovebirds.” she muttered under her breath.

“I can hear you just fine, you know...” you laughed as you reminded her.

“Yeah, yeah, just make my eggs!” she laughed back.

You shook your head and went back to your eggs. They cooked quick and you took out two plates.

You served her first then you. You almost sat down before taking out the fresh squeezed orange juice for you both.

“Cheers.” you two said as your glasses clinked together.

Ellie chowed down on her food as always and thanked you for yet another awesome meal before heading for the door.

You, of course, took your time to eat.

“Bye, kiddo!” you shouted from the table.

She was half way out door when she yelled back, “Later, skater!”

After finishing breakfast, you hurriedly got dressed and left for the wood shop.

You stepped outside and the breeze of the freezing air immediately hit your face. You wore your own puffer jacket and scarf, but you could still feel the coldness run up your arms. Winter in Wyoming was insane and long.

Again, in a hurried manner, you made your way to your dream destination. On your way, you smiled as you greeted the people walking by. You didn't think you'd ever get used to the abundance of people, living people, and the overall amount of life in such a big space.

How you even got here still shocked you.

You chuckled to yourself seeing the heart decor being put up. It would've made more sense to hang them up earlier in the week, but you guess it's staying for the remainder of the month.

You opened the door of the wood shop, and the bell rang as you did so. Thank, goodness there was a fireplace. You felt warmer already.

You looked around but didn't see Rose anywhere in sight. You guess she's off and her eldest son is in charge for the moment.

"Morning, Luke!" you greeted, nicely as always.

"Morning! What can I do for ya?" he greeted back, as always.

"Is there any way you could carve out a heart shaped piece of wood. Not a huge piece, but maybe about this big." you asked as you demonstrated with your hands.

"Ah, for you and good ol' Joel, I see." he smirked.

You rolled your eyes and nodded your head yes.

"I want our initials carved on the front and a few words burnt on the back."

Luke grabbed his notepad and had you write exactly what you wanted.

"You got one very special Valentine's gift comin' right up! Come back around 12." he assured you.

"Alright, thanks, Luke." you thanked him as you waved goodbye and exited the shop. Ah, back to cold.

You spent the rest of your day at your friends' houses, chatting about whatever nonsense. You picked up Joel's gift a little after noon and then went to the pub, to catch up with Maria on town gossip.

You noticed the sun was starting to set so you bid your farewells to her and Seth before leaving.

You had stolen paper from Ellie's room and were able to make that letter before reaching home and to your surprise, Joel was on the couch waiting for you.

You started taking your boots and cold wear off as you looked at him the entire time.

"Was expecting you to be home a bit later." you told him as you made your way to him.

"I said I would be back before nightfall." he simply said.

"Well, you usually come back when the moon's out." you said, plopping down next to him and giving his cheek a quick peck.

"Well, I stayed true to my note this time, I guess." he said as he gave you a soft smile.

You leaned your head to rest it on his broad shoulder. He moved in closer and caressed the side of your face with his thumb.

"Darlin', I wanna apologize for last night. That was stupid. You were just worried about me, that's all and I brushed you off." He confessed, trying to look you in the eye.

"It's fine, love. You're stubborn, per usual." you joked, but also meant it.

"To tell you the truth, I was really scared." he admitted.

You instantly moved your head to look at him. Worried something might have come up.

"Of what?"

"Honestly, the community was never low on supplies. I needed that excuse, so you'd let me go on the urgent trip Tommy and I been plannin'." he revealed as he turned to fully look at you.

You were a bit confused at first, not understanding why a trip would be so "urgent". Your face swiftly changed to absolute shock after Joel pulled out a beautiful, silver necklace with a locket and bracelet to match.

Your heart swelled right then and there. You couldn't believe it. All this time he spent telling you the holiday didn't matter anymore and here he was.

“Baby, you’re kidding!” you cried as you immediately went for a kiss.

All he could do was smile against your lips. He’s glad he could make you happy.

You wrapped your arms around him, wanting for him to know how much you appreciated him and how thoughtful he was.

“Here, let me put them on for ya. Aw, don’t tell me you’re crying?” he teased and you shook your head as you wiped a tear or two.

“I got you a gift thinking you wouldn’t do anything! And you get me this! Of course I’m crying.” you defended as you put out your arm so he could place the jewelry around your wrist.

You turned around and he put the necklace on for you as well.

“How long did it take to find these?” you asked, wanting full details on heartwarming trip your boyfriend took.

“A couple of hours. Tommy knew where to find the rundown store; that’s where he found his ring for Maria.” he told you.

“I borrowed some other things from the town too.” he continued, sheepishly.

You turned back around to face him once he was done and said, “Oh my goodness, like what?”

“I got a few discs from Maverick and Maria gave me a copy of ‘Dirty Dancing’ since I told her you like it so much.”

All you could do was pout at how cute he was. No way he got all that.

“You can’t be serious, hun.” you said as you laid against him.

He put his hand on your hip before saying, “even in this world, there ain’t a thing I wouldn’t do for you.”

You snuggled in closer after he said so, and he gave your head a kiss.

“Let’s go slowdance to Otis Redding and watch your movie.” he told you as he signaled for you to get up.

You giggled at him calling it “your” movie. You took out the wood-piece that was still in your coat and the letter.

You handed him the wood first, and watched as he admired it slowly. You knew he wasn’t one to show much emotion, but you could see it in his eyes.

He read your initials in the front and your sweet message on the back.

“Thank you, darlin’. I’m gonna hang this near our door.” He thanked you with that soft smile once again.

He was about to open the letter, but you stopped him.

“Read it later, I want our time together now.”

And with that, you two spent the night upstairs. First, slow dancing as promised to the ‘These Arms of Mine’ record that Joel borrowed and then movie time with him trying his best not to fall asleep for your sake.

He did read your letter later on and one moment led to another since you two could not keep off each other.

You were in his arms the entire night, just what you wanted. No person or personal issues to distract you from each other’s company.

He was indeed the perfect valentine.

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olderthannetfic · 6 months

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It's very exhausting seeing people in my fandom get angry that an author deleted his work prior to committing suicide. Everyone's sad they don't get to read the story. I have not seen a single person even pretend to dislike the fact that a person is dead. I have seen two people say, respectively, "he could've at least given us a content drop first, end on a high note" and "content creators who don't at least leave the content up shouldn't post".

And I know, I know, fandom olds: it is parasocial and toxic and bad to expect anyone online to dislike the death of another person, I'm a Gen Z snowflake, I need to grow up, etc. In my defense, I am neurodivergent and probably not seeing this correctly. But as an admittedly fucked up person... I kind of don't like 1. the fact that a human being died 2. no one even saying "oh that's sad" or feigning valuing human life 3. everyone referring to him not as an author but as a content creator and 4. the only thing I've seen people discuss is wanting content.

I don't really vibe with the concept that people in fandom are just content mills that exist to hand us content day in and day out and that's all that matters. This dude had whole conversations with people in the comments, he was really nice and gave people encouragement, commented on his readers' fics, and he never had an unkind word to say about anyone. He answered questions on his tumblr and always had funny, weirdly specific memes for everything. And some of the same super-distinct usernames I remember him interacting with are the ones complaining about content. Not writing, just content, that demeaning internet term that also applies to AI.

He was the one who inspired me to start writing and now I don't know if I want to post. I don't want to be seen as a content mill, a bot who spits out something to be consumed that's seen as more important than a person. I don't want to contribute to this weird culture where fiction matters more than reality.

Again: I know. Snowflake, Gen Z bad, fandom olds unbothered and cool, etc. But I never claimed to be cool. I just claim this is not how fandom should be. We should be hanging out, talking to and supporting each other. You don't have to be friends, but you should aim to not see art in terms of content creation and consumption.

IDK, I don't really think I'm explaining this clearly. I just feel like we should try to not be assholes.

Uh... that's not what parasocial means, you weirdo, and no fandom olds think it's in good taste to whine about somebody who committed suicide not going out on a high note.

Don't be an ageist twit when you're just repeating what anyone older would say.

I assume people are reacting this way because 1. people are jerks, duh and 2. they probably don't pay attention to internet acquaintances' "suicides" after way too many fake ones.

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raynecos · 1 month

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Sour Wine (Skk)

Authors Note: Hi! im not expecting anybody to really see or read this seeing as how its my first tumblr post with something of actual substance or content, but i've made the decision to start writing (again), so thats what this blog willl mainly be used for :], i hope you enjoy if you're reading this! -Rayne Credit to my lovely amazing perfect boyfriend for the plot of this fic <3 TWs: Alcoholism, Suicide Part One: Empty Bottles, Part Two: Coffees Only As Bitter As You Let It Be

Chuuya

However much time has passed, Chuuya wouldn’t know. One moment he’s in his penthouse, lighting a cigarette and opening another bottle. Next he’s sitting at a table among many important faces, the names of which he also wouldn’t know. Given he’d never bothered to learn, and why should he? Drowning out the voices just as much as usual, it’s all a jumble, mixed tones mumbling on and on about numbers, kill counts, drug shipments, and the like. “Chuuya, are you listening to me?” He jumps, looking up from the pen in his hand, Mori’s eyes demanding an answer. “Yes sir.” Chuuya responds quickly, adjusting his expression to appear more alert, as the boss's eyes seem to stare daggers into him, and those blades sting.

Walking out of the dark, emotionless, and weirdly wet room, he truthfully still doesn’t know what it was Mori was saying. If he didn’t get called back into the office then it couldn’t have mattered anyways. After walking out of the building, the route back to his home was simply muscle memory. Drunk drivings a crime, but who cared, he’d already committed plenty.

The picture on the auburn coffee table stood out more than usual, Dazai standing behind holding Chuuyas hat while the shorter (but definitely still growing) ginger frustratedly reached for it back, the one behind the camera being Akutagawa. The day of that particular picture's events, shortly after hearing the click of the camera, Chuuya’d been told Dazai wanted a humorous photo of them together. “Just in case something happens, you never know with the mafia. Wouldn’t want me gone without a constant reminder to you that I existed.”

Those words meant something entirely different now.

Chuuya reached over and slammed it face down, not wanting to see that constant reminder, not while he was sober. The sight of the frame taunting him to undo his action, just to see his former partner's face once again. It wasn't the same. It’d never be the same. Three years since he’d lost his best friend, the only person that made life seem actually worth living. Three years since he lost the love of his life, he should’ve said something, anything. Followed him some way or other, he shouldn’t have needed a car to pursue him.

Three bottles in one night, not even close to a new record.

None of his decisions were his own, his body moving of its own accord, missions and meetings all a blur. Nothing was interesting anymore, nothing about this job was tolerable, he’d even resorted to cheap booze to keep from remembering why he was here in the first place.

Only recently turned 21 years old, but it’s nothing new. When you’re in the mafia, following drinking laws, or any laws for that matter, isn’t really a priority. Walking through the main building, it’d be much more surprising to not see somebody under the age drinking. Whether that be a 12 year old or someone who’d just turned 18, nobody’s getting through their tasks sober. Didn’t matter if it was training, a mission, or if you got called into Mori’s office to be told you’d look better in a different color tie, getting through a day without a drop of alcohol is far more impressive than any combat techniques or efficiency picking locks.

Chuuya sighed, leaning back further in his seat, the black leather cold to the touch. His coat strewn across the coffee table, alongside those three empty bottles, one toppled over leaking the leftover drops of blood red wine onto the wood, likely to stain. The only sound filling the deafening silence of the room being the silent tick tick tick of the clock on the wall. Too much room to think, it was frustrating. Just as he began to think ‘One more drink, just one’ a pin dropped. A metaphorical pin however, in reality it was that the phone had begun to ring. Chuuya sat up slowly, eyes heavy, glancing towards his cell phone which he’d thrown onto the kitchen counter when he’d gone to retrieve the last of his wine. Walking closer to the ringing noise, he hardly realized he was swaying slightly, thankfully not toppling over entirely. His body was on autopilot, not really aware of any decisions he was making. Picking up the phone off of the marble counter without a thought about it.

“What do you want?” Chuuya stated into the phone with an annoyed tone. Caller ID didn’t do shit for him, no idea who was on the other end but whoever it was they had interrupted his (truthfully nonexistent) thoughts, and that’s just rude.

“Shit” responded a familiar voice on the other end, the call ended quickly, knocking Chuuya out of his trance for a moment. “Hello?” he said as he looked down at the screen, only to see he was no longer talking to anyone but himself. “Jesus christ.” he slipped the phone into his pocket, reaching up to the still open cabinet where he’d usually keep his drinks, only to reel his hand back in and find it empty. He’d forgotten he’d finished off his last 19 bottles in the span of that entire week, a skill only a true alcoholic could master. That and drunk driving, because somehow he’d managed not to cause an accident in the past 5 years, and he definitely wasn’t starting now. Because next thing he knew he’d driven down to a liquor store nearby a river running through Yokohama. The water sparkling, reflecting the lights of the nearby streetlamps, the sunset spreading an orange hue across everything. Hardly anybody walking along the sidewalk, a few cars driving by on occasion, likely people on their way home from work.

Chuuya, who’d become slightly more clear-headed since leaving his penthouse, passed by a few pedestrians while walking along the path from his car to the store, then suddenly stopped.

No reasoning for it, just a feeling that he wasn’t sure how to explain. He turned his head, glancing across the area next to him, and there was the explanation, seemingly right in front of him. The brunette he’d spent all his time mourning losing, the man he wished he would have confessed to before he lost his chance. Standing on a slightly elevated platform looking out over the river's water, was Dazai Osamu.

Chuuya’s eyes widened, tears starting to form in the corners of them, he wiped them away before they could block his vision. Before he realized what he was doing, his feet started moving on their own, no regard for any potential oncoming cars, or people minding their business trying to walk by, he started walking fast, quickly breaking out into a run. Trying to get Dazais name out of his mouth but his throat drying up and lips shutting on their own before he had the chance, choking out a string of incoherent sounds as he pushed himself as far ahead as he could go.

Right as he’d reached that platform, right as he’d gotten closer to his lost friend, suddenly there was nothing in front of him. Dazai had disappeared, right out of thin air, no longer a person standing in front of Chuuya, just empty space. Was he a hallucination? Confusion overwhelmed Chuuya, reality snapped into him for the first time in those three years, like a rubber band being stretched and threatening to break. He looked down at the platform, seeing stones forming the ground into a slight curve, noticing that in the direction that Dazai seemed to be facing there was a small wall formed as a blockade to prevent a fall. And below, the river that not long before he’d been admiring.

Dazai jumped.

#dazai #dazai osamu #chuuya #chuuya nakahara #soukoku #skk #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd fic #fanfiction #skk fanfic #skk angst #bsd angst #bsd fanfic #bungo stray dogs fanfic #skk angst fic

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mojowitchcraft · 4 months

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2024 Fic Tracker

I decided to start tracking the fics I'm reading for 2024 and I thought I'd maybe do a monthly round up of my favourite fics and post on here, but I'm one week in and there's already so many great fics that I'm reading that I wanted to yell about!

Not sure how consistently I'll post these, but I love hyping up my fellow writers and friends, so here's some of my recent faves, mainly Steddie fics but some others in here!

change your mind

by helix_stomper [@pixelizedrifles] Rating: E | Words: 168k | Chapters: 13/17 | Pairing: Steddie

Summary:

After his breakup with Nancy, Steve Harrington keeps it a secret that he hasn’t made an effort to meet his soulmate. When he accidentally wakes up next to them a few days after his 18th birthday, he’s surprised to find that it’s not only another guy, but somebody else in Hawkins. Between losing all his old friends, learning how not to be an asshole, and balancing his newfound sexuality in a closed-minded town, Steve has his work cut out for him. Eddie Munson doesn’t believe in soulmates, but that doesn’t stop him from waiting in the dreamscape every night for his. Balancing life as an openly queer, drug-dealing super senior in Hawkins, Indiana is no cakewalk, especially with Billy Hargrove on his ass. But maybe, just maybe, there’s something to that whole soulmate thing after all.

📓 💭: [Read most recent chapters of this ongoing WIP] I was so excited when I saw that helix_stomper was writing a soulmate fic, and it does NOT disappoint. It's a totally different vibe from the Boots & Budweiser series but it's so so excellent. A completely fresh and interesting take on the soulmate trope with dreamscapes, a healthy dose of identity porn and some *drama*

they're going to send us to prison for jerks

by @greatunironic Rating: E | Words: 16k | Chapters: 1/1 | Pairing: Steddie

Summary:

GARETH 11.46am it’s been like five hours should we do a welfare check on him? JEFF 11.47 am why? you think it’s possible to die from jerking it too much? GARETH 11.47am ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah In which Eddie is TikTok famous, and his personal favorite creator just had an unexpected face reveal.

📓 💭: I love me some modern au / alt format / social media shinanegans and this did not disappoint! Super fun and cute

Paint & Glitter

by unhappy_peaches [@ghast1yghosts] Rating: T | Words: 2.3k | Chapters: 1/1 | Pairing: Steddie

Summary:

"face painter Steve's next in line is an excited 20 y/o Eddie who wants a dragon"

📓 💭: [Reread] This came up in covo with a friend and I had to reread it cause it's so damn cute.

Tentative

by Eddywow [@eddywoww] Rating: E | Words: 90k | Chapters: 11/? | Pairing: Steddie

Summary:

“Oookay," The woman drew out, one ringed hand sweeping at Stevie's hair. "Hey there, Uhh. You're kind of in my lap. Can you get up?" Rude. Couldn't she see Stevie was trying her best?

📓 💭: [Read most recent chapters of this ongoing WIP] I was a little late to the party starting to read this but it's SO FUCKING GOOOOOOOD!! (would we expect anything less of Eddywow? Doubtful) Love going wild with my friends about stressy depressy big tiddy Stevie. Such a fun dynamic between them in this gender bent girl band modern au.

We Can't Both Be Billy Joel

by audacity_of_bluejays [@audacityofbird] Rating: E | Words: 34k | Chapters: 4/5 | Pairing: Steddie

Summary:

Classically trained concert pianist Steve Harrington’s dreams went on pause when the world shut down in 2020. When you’re the last one in, you’re the first one out when the concert halls shut down, no matter how much time, effort, work or talent you put in. So, three years later when his adoptive father and owner of Skeleton Keys Piano Bar in Indianapolis calls him home from New York City to help save the family business, he finally has a way to use his skills and experience. Turns out you can come home again. The only problem is, the plan is to bring in dueling pianos and Steve has to work with the current piano player on staff. Eddie is stupidly talented, annoying and friendly even when Steve isn't. It's infuriating. Can they work together and save the bar from closing? Or will they both get more than they bargained for?

📓 💭: [Read most recent chapters of this ongoing WIP] love love loving my gal Birdie's modern au piano bar fic. Honestly did not expect to get turned on by them playing the piano but the 'playing the piano as foreplay' tag did not lie to me! This is super fun and sweet and the final chapter is getting posted tomorrow!

Steve & Robin

by audacity_of_bluejays [@audacityofbird] Rating: M | Words: 46k | Chapters: 8/22 | Pairing: Evental Steddie, with on and off Stommy as a treat

Summary:

It's 1995. Two sets of best friends find themselves in Chicago and in each other's orbit as they try to figure out how to best navigate the world, work, relationships, family, and friendships in their mid-twenties. Chrissy is starting a new job in a new city with only an old friend to help tether her. Eddie tries to help his band find their big break. Steve tries to get his matchmaking family off his back and Robin hatches a plan to help him do that in an unconventional and seemingly logical way. They're all finding themselves and their way to each other. So, who cares if they stumble along the way? At least they have each other.

📓 💭: [Currently catching up on this ongoing WIP] Another one that I was putting off reading and I'm now obsessed with!! Birdie has really found her niche with this fun screenplay style alt format. The way she describes the scenes and the cuts between things is SO FUCKING FUNNY and I can totally visualize it. My new fave sitcom.

stand still (so i can see your sillouette)

by audacity_of_bluejays, pizzabones [@glitterfang] Rating: E | Words: 4k | Chapters: 1/1 | Pairing: Stommy

Summary:

Immediately following the events of Chapter 7 of Steve & Robin, Tommy and Steve consummate this new version of their relationship. Will this be the beginning of something beautiful or the end of something that's run its course? Maybe Both. Tune in:

📓 💭: oh my god it's like if my favourite sitcom had a late night special. wowoowoweeeee!!! Love me some Stommy smut but also I couldn't relax and enjoy it the whole time cause I don't trust that man!!

sidelong

by Adure [@toburnup]

Rating: E | Words: 5.8k | Chapters: 1/1 | Pairing: Stommy

Summary:

Tommy draws his knees up toward him and leans his folded arms on top. He stares, unashamed, at the length of Steve's neck as he looks around. His chin. His nice smile. Tommy's drunker now that they're sitting in the brunt of the sun, and maybe that's why it takes a few extra seconds for him to realize that Steve's stopped talking. "Is there something on my face?" Steve asks, rubbing his cheek with the back of his hand. He looks confused. And he's waiting, because Tommy is slack-jawed and a little bit in love and he's really, really not ready for this shit. (Tommy can't help but look, and Steve can't stop catching him.)

📓 💭: some soft and squishy Stommy to heal the wounds that the above rec might give you. I love me some happy ending Stommy, just two dudes in love with each other trying to figure it all out!! Absolutely adored seeing my bestie Becca @glitterfang partner up with Vio and do some amazing art for this fic!!

Hungry Like The Wolf

by beetlesandstars [@beetlesandstarss] Rating: M | Words: 10k | Chapters: 1/1 | Pairing: Steddie

Summary:

“Are you a manifestation of my subconscious?” Eddie asks, tentatively shuffling closer to the wolf. He sways a little, stage-whispering, “What are you trying to tell me?” He knows the pills he took were strong but, well - he didn’t think they were ‘hallucinate a giant dog’ strong. (Or, the one where Steve turns into a wolf and befriends Eddie Munson.)

📓 💭: Werewolf Steve!! WEREWOLF STEVE!!! I need so much more of him!! Absolutely loved the identity porn of it all and wolfy cuddles. So good.

Sneaky Link

by morningberries [@morningberriesao3] Rating: E | Words: 121k | Chapters: 17/20 | Pairing: Steddie

Summary:

HailToTheKing: tell me what you look like ELMst01: tall, pale af, few tats here and there Steve lifts his eyes from his phone. He must be wondering why Eddie is smiling like a fucking idiot. He pretends not to notice Steve sizing him up from head to foot. Judging bastard. HailToTheKing: sounds hot HailToTheKing: just my type OR The only thing worse than Steve Harrington, is the fact that Eddie got paired with him for his college assignment. At least the sexy guy he subscribes to on OnlyFans is a good distraction to keep Eddie's mind away from Steve, and the annoying crush he hates that he's starting to develop on his project partner.

📓 💭: [Read the most recent chapter of this ongoing WIP] I've been loving this fic since the begining. I'm always feral for a modern au + university/college au + only fans? Come on!!! So much good soup in here. Plus the added Eddie is a thick headed dummy is so good

Slide It In

by gayhandshake Rating: E | Words: 1.7k | Chapters: 1/1 | Pairing: Steddie

Summary:

Without thinking, he yanks his hand back, Steve yelping, “Eddie!” in response. “Why does it feel like that?” Eddie asks, his mouth pinched. His voice is high-pitched and whiny and incredibly embarrassing, but seriously, why does it feel like that? He shakes his whole body out, wiggling his arms to dislodge the sensation. Steve cranes his neck to glare at him. “Like what?” “Like ‒ squishy and weird!” --- Eddie struggles with some features of the human body.

📓 💭: okay this is just pure silly crack and it made me laugh so fucking hard.

a snowfall kind of love

by @hexiewrites Rating: E | Words: 46.5k | Chapters: 7/11 | Pairing: Steddissy

Summary:

Chrissy has always been top of her class at the North Pole. She’s worked her way up to the matchmaking department, and has an impressive track record of successful Christmas relationships under her belt. This year's assignment should be easy, which is good, because if you asked her out of earshot she might tell you the whole thing is getting a bit… tired. Still: a happy but lonely mechanic meets an ornery author in the biggest slump of his career, whose bike breaks down outside of his secluded cabin in the woods where he's settled for his annual winter writing retreat. A house call, a little bit of that ‘snowed in, only one bed’ magic, Chrissy knows she’s in for an Elf of the Year award for this one. Only... what happens when the mechanic and the author are just as charmed by Chrissy as she is by them? When her little bit of snow gets a little bit out of control? With three of them snowed in, still with only one bed, and an elf fully cut off from her powers, can Chrissy still pull it off and help her marks find love? Or, can her marks help show her that there’s even more magic when Christmas ends, but the love is here to say?

📓 💭: [Read most recent chapter of ongoing WIP] Man I LOVE this, Steddissy is so much fun, plus the added hallmark cutesy christmas holiday of it all is so fun. I was howling with laughter about Chrissy being a covert Christmas elf, ducking behind things with bells in her hair wearing the LOUDEST Christmas outfits. Super cute and fun (and now smutty cause they doin the do and it's yum yum delicious)

#2024 fic tracker #mojowitchcraft fic recs #mojowitchcraft wip recs #steddie fic recs #stommy fic recs #steddissy fic recs #steddie #dividers by #eloquentreverie

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plasticfangtastic · 8 months

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American Royalty. Ch. 3

A Homelander X F! Reader and Dadlander fic.

A/N: Cuz somebody asked 'bout taglist... I'll be including one for those interested, if you want to be in it please leave a comment on the fic and i will include you in the next update as I be working on 'Of the same poisonous ilk' this week thus meaning next ch. of A.R. will come out next week. Plz check My Pin Post for previous chapters!! thxs for reading

Tags: mild gore, angst, slow burn, fluff, oc characther, child neglect, dadlander, romance.

Chapter Three

White.

He followed you for two weeks, in that time he had made up his mind about putting those doubts at rest– he knew Helena wasn’t his. She looked nothing like him. You had to have been lying about the V, some clever ruse that you came up with on the spot, but that doubt now cemented itself, digging and clawing deeper in his brain… that perhaps he had been mistaken.

So he followed you, making notes about your predictably sad routine– you worked six days a week. The hours varied but you were always working (except for saturdays and most sundays you only did half days), you worked at Lucci’s four days, and as a cook and waitress at a local diner five days for really short shifts at a time either mornings or nights, it was frankly a nightmare to follow. Your skills almost wasted as you broke your back making corned beef sandwiches and serving tables. You usually seemed to make it home by 9 pm, and Kaleem (your boss) and his wife took care of your kid, you seemed close to the family of four that or they liked that your daughter tutored their kids for free, even their 17 year old relied on her, your neighbor also babysat in exchange for dog food and groceries, and money on the occasion.

Your daughter attended a local public school, already attending tenth grade at her tender age. Usually making her own way home or heading straight to your boss’s house, it was bizarre and frightening to see such a small child walk alone in dangerous Brooklyn streets but she didn’t seem afraid in the least, Homelander wouldn’t dare Ryan do that in Manhattan, he could see the tabloids headlines and a dozen dangers.

She entered a small park, resting by a bench for an awfully long time just not doing much until she looked up and stared back at the sky, she waved her tiny hand at Homelander, aware of what building he had been watching her from.

Helena scooted over giving him an open invitation, something he nervously accepted.

That day after seeing you for the first time, he had done his homework ordering a crew of interns to canvas all files for information partaning every child that was given compound V around the time of Helena’s birth, to check any discrepancies in old inventory records, and cctv footage that remained of those days to see if they’ve been altered, he worked them past clock off hours, and after a week they’d come empty handed, no child was given V that matched her description, he had found the hospital you’ve given birth and found no record of Vought’s grimy fingers, nor of any rogue scientist feeding kids V that was operating or suspected to operate around that time, His team also found that you never entered Helena on any casting calls, pageants or events. She had no superhero name registration or trademark, Vought manager or caseworker, or appeared on Vought’s records in any capacity, he clung to hope that maybe the information would come to light but the twenty people on the case were having no luck.

He entered the lab where a young recruit who had the least to lose handed him the results. He dared not read them outloud and instead took a step back as Homelander slumped against the wall.

So here he was staring at this little girl.

“You’ve been following my mother. I don’t really understand nor care much, but following me is a tad creepy, sir.”

“Could you hear me from over there?” He asked surprised, trying to look imposing with his stiff shoulders.

“I sensed you… I keep my radar on when heading home, that way I can keep an eye for treats– in the absence of super senses.”

“What sort of treats?” he said with ignorant concern.

“You don’t come down to the projects very often, do you?” She found his stiff posture interesting, wondering how much of it was habit versus the suit– so how may I help you?”

“I had some business with your mother.”

“Then how does it pertain to me?” she scoffed.

“Your mother never registered you with Vought. All super-abled children whether they choose to pursue this career or not– have to be registered at some point. I couldn’t find any records of a Helena L/N or your Superhero persona”

She chuckled lightly.

“Sure. That’s something the boss handles instead of some mid-level intern… So you think my mother stole some compound V while she was under your employment? I guess after a bunch of Supervillains began to come out of thin air– it is concerning that there’s unregistered Supe’s wandering around.” She stands up– If my mother had stolen compound V for profit do you think we would be living in this place?” She leaned back trying to control that shit eating grin teasing her lips.

“A cover story.”

“I think I was right about you.” She fixes her backpack, jumping off the bench, he follows her as she begins to walk away– "I always liked A-Train more than you. Out of the whole lot you look the most maladjusted, sir.”

“You have quite the mouth there, little missy.” His irritation was more than visible, he scrunched his hand, and the girl could only raise a corner of her thin lips in disbelief– "Your mother failed to teach you manners didn’t she?”

“I have manners. I reserve them for people who aren’t peeping toms, you clown.”

Homelander eyes glittered red, trying to control his anger, he looked away, squeezing his eyes– she was just a little girl with a mouth afterall, she could afford to be a brat.

As she walked away before he could take a step to pull her– Helena had disappeared. Everything about her was gone, he looked around finding nothing, the air hadn’t been pushed so she hadn’t run at hyper speed, he looked up to see if she had taken flight finding nothing, not even a shadow out of place– she had simply vanished.

He was left perplexed, his senses unable to pick up on anything nearby.

He was back at the tower, looking at the pile of documents they had gathered of you, your finances were a wreck, he hadn’t even remembered asking for any of these things done to you. His chest heavy as he noted just how thorough Vought had been, but that meant nothing, he had money to spare. Helena had a bad mouth but what child wouldn’t be hardened by living in the slums? What child wouldn’t come out damaged if they lived so poorly and without a father? By a mother that had done nothing but neglect them.

He could fix it.

“What are you doing?” Ryan asked, entering his father’s studio as he read– I saw this movie was out and I thought…”

“Just work, tiger.” He pushed his work down– we can go see a movie… let me see if Ashley can reserve the cinema for us.”

That wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but it was something.

Homelander could barely contain his excitement, he was certain Ryan would be happy when he could deliver the news.

Now he was at your workplace once again, just an hour before opening. It was only you, another cook and your boss doing all the prep-work, he was out in the back as you stood out to drop some rubbish, your apron covered in flour and you reeked of san marzano tomatoes and shampoo.

“We need to talk.” He said firmly.

“I don’t want to talk to you.” You said weakly, feeling bile burning at the bottom of your throat– I… I have to go.”

“Helena is my daughter so we need to talk.”

You froze, your eyes so wide they could pop out of their sockets if you opened them any further, you looked at the door and closed it wishing nobody else heard him, not even the rats and roaches.

“There’s nothing to discuss. I told you… I told you back then she was yours! And you ruined my life for it!”

“Don’t be so dramatic, I just dumped you.” he waved his arms to match his scoff– now–

“You… You… You don’t remember what you did? God I really didn’t matter to you…” You couldn’t hold back the flow of tears– You took everything from me!!”

The gap between you two was broken by your own feet, your knees shook but hatred kept you standing.

“You had me blacklisted from every fucking restaurant in the country! Most of my savings were frozen by the fucking FBI over some bullcrap investigation, and I still can’t even touch my own fucking money!! My insurance was canceled somehow! and then your fucking company bought my apartment building and evicted me!!” You growled and shouted, your spat on his face as you pushed him to no avail– I was pregnant living in my fucking car with a few thousand dollars in the most expensive city in the world!!”

Homelander had nothing to say, feeling the spit drip down his cheek.

“I… I lost everything. And just to hurt me you made Helena a Supe… did it make you happy? Did it make you happy when I had to sleep in a shelter with a newborn and 30 thousand dollars in debt!?” You took a step back trying to clean the tears clinging to your eyes– You don’t get to talk about my daughter.”

“The one you barely see.”

“WHOSE FUCKING FAULT IS THAT!!?” you pulled on his suit forcing him to see you straight in the eyes– We got nothing to talk about. Helena is mine, you abandoned her! you don’t get to waltz into her life as if you deserve it after all you did! She doesn’t need you! Not when all the pain you cause wasn’t worth it”

“I didn’t know I could have children.”

Becca had looked at him with fear and disgust more than anger, but your words reminded him of her, he had made a mistake then, now Ryan had to live with the weight of killing his mother. Had he played his cards less impulsively, she would have relented.

“I was told I was infertile. That I had nothing down there, not even wonky swimmers! Why would I believe you…?” He bit his lip grabbing your hands as he had gently done so in the past– my whole life I was told I could never have a family, the one thing they failed to do when they made me… until I discovered Ryan… back then… back then I–

“Don’t touch me.” You pulled your hands but his grip is solid– I don’t want to listen to you.”

“I am sorry!”

His eyes were hurt, he softened his grip as you took your bruised hands back.

You wanted that apology but this wasn’t it. It didn't matter at the end, you wanted him gone but you would regret this later, as you saw those hurt blue eyes, all you saw was his daughter, it was as if she had a copy of his expression tattooed on her dna.

“... Come to my house by midnight tonight…”

You left him there.

Thinking of Helena’s tear filled blues.

You were becoming insane, the whole day at work you stayed silent, quietly building pies and cutting pizza, just another busy day. Calling the diner telling them Helena’s sitter had called in sick, and nobody could watch you kid.

Helena seemed happy to have the extra time with you even if all she did was do her homework and listen to some free college classes that she had somehow managed to enroll in (probably thanks to her teachers) while you watched TV. You looked at the recording discussing thermodynamics which she seemed to be struggling with. By ten she was in bed and you waited, finding yourself baking a Torta della Nonna while waiting for a man you weren’t sure would show up, taking a short nap until something tapped at your foot.

“Helena…?” you said groggily.

“No.”

Looking at him in your home woke you up harder than an earthquake, you jumped on your feet quickly to make distance.

“You could knock on the door! Did… Did you come through the window?”

“Didn’t want to wake up Helena.”

“Please don’t pretend you suddenly care about her. Look… I will listen to you… I need to know why you made her a Supe.” your words are low but fast.

You took to the kitchen, taking a small pot, honey and saffron.

“I want to know what you want so YOU can move on, and leave us alone.”

He stood by the entrance arms tucked behind his back with a look of indignation, as you took the milk out of the fridge.

“I made cake… still like milk?”

You heated the milk, infusing it with a pinch of saffron and a dash of honey, you seemed happy to serve this, this was what you served Helena when she had too many bad days.

“Helena is a very special girl… she’s so smart but I think she’s lonely. Her powers make it hard for her to have friends, being a super genius makes it hard for her to relate to kids… then on top of that there are the other powers– she really lucked out there but I can’t afford to make her into a Supe. You wasted your time there.”

She was your pride, you wanted to bolster to anybody about how special your daughter was, she was all you had after all, the only thing that kept you going. You wanted to shove it in his face just all the good that he had thrown away, and will never experience.

“She can teleport.” He said taking the cup, the taste was sweet and delicious, it would help him sleep soundly tonight– pretty impressive.”

“Teleport?” You look puzzled then your head shakes as you laugh lightly– no, silly. She can’t teleport. I gathered you talked to her– don’t do that again. But… no she can’t teleport… Helena can turn invisible like Translucent but better… She can make her clothes invisible too, and make psionic force fields. What you witnessed was her putting herself in an invisible bubble and making the bubble float away from you.”

You tried to contain the panic inside you with a stiff grin, boasting calmed you down.

“I didn’t hear her heartbeat.” He argued back.

“What happens in the bubble stays in the bubble… including sounds. Trust me I’d sat down and watched her experiment.”

“That’s impressive.” He smiled proudly.

“Until she runs out of oxygen.” you moved past him wishing you had space for a dining table, all you had in your living room was a coffee table, your couch, the TV and two large floor cushions, you and Helena ate on the floor in front of the TV and your seating options felt too intimate but alas is the floor– she has two types of force fields…”

“Can she fly?”

“Technically no but yes if you ask her, the second type of bubble… she can float inside it, but I won’t let her test the limits of the bubble.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want my daughter to end up splattered all over the sidewalk!” you hissed.

Homelander followed you, taking his place on the floor too excited to talk about this to care about being asked to sit like a dog

“So she’s out there with the best… When she was three she told me her superhero name was ‘Ghost Girl’ but that died quickly. So it's your turn to talk, Homelander.”

Homelander was unsure where to begin, taking a long sip of his drink, you had stopped calling him by his name, you had taken John and made it your own, but he had taken it back as he ended it all.

So he told you quite a story, about how he learned about Ryan, about all the secrets Vought had kept from him, how they had kept Ryan trapped in a cage, about the lies he told you about his parents, and his actual upbringing. You sat in silence unable to respond as he told you the horrific things he endured with a straight face, as if you were speaking to somebody else, about how much he had wanted a family and about how he felt when he believed you’d betray him.

Homelander had been happy, he thought he had finally found somebody to have a life with, he was angry, he wanted to hurt you, and after it was all done he pushed your memory aside.

But above all how he now regretted it all.

“I was awful to you, but now that Vought belongs to me that means they will never hurt Helena.”

You stared at him coldly.

“So Ryan was born with powers… So no matter what– Helena would have always had powers?”

“I don’t know. Her powers are nothing like mine, and she’s still young so she might…”

“God I certainly hope not. Look I’m sorry all of those things happened to your son, and you. I’m glad Helena is safer now, and I thank you for that— but cut to the chase. What is it that you want? You want me to tell her about you? She never wanted a father, heck I don’t think she needs me!” You snapped, trying to force the empathy out of your system.

“Why would you say that?”

“Helena is… different… I dunno what is happening in her mind ever.”

It stung to say those things, your love for her didn’t change things, but it was a pervasive thought you endured… awful thoughts about your daughter.

“Helena was a quiet baby… hardly ever cried. I took her to several doctors and nobody could figure out why my baby didn’t cry, why she seemed to live inside her mind, why she always stared at nothing… When she started to talk, the more she absorbed, the more she learned, the less of a baby she became– my daughter is an adult trapped in a baby’s body.” You took a quick bite but it was hard to swallow– the first time she showed her powers… the force fields… we were walking home when some drive-by took place. We had only gone for a stroll, I wanted to save on gas so we walked to the grocery… we… when the bullets stopped in front of my own eyes.”

You could see that sunny afternoon so vividly, the random kids doing their thing until some gray car drove by, the thunderous sound of bullets, and a wounded boy staring at the bullet that would’ve taken his life had your daughter’s forcefield hadn’t enveloped the whole sidewalk.

With a slight flick of her wrist the bullets were returned, two men lost their lives and one was wounded, the group of kids on your sidewalk survived and the boy who almost bled out, your boss’s nephew helped you get your job.

“Helena didn’t care.”

Those two lifeless bodies rotting slowly before you, hadn’t mattered to her, she simply scoffed and asked if the police were going to arrest her before the ice cream melted.

Homelander now had something to work with in terms of records but he didn’t need them anymore.

“I love her… but I worry she’s…”

“She just needs to be with more of her kind. Y/N I want to offer you a job… your job back…”

“No.” You jumped back on your heels– I don’t want anything to do with you, Homelander.”

“I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes I did with Ryan and her mother! I want to be in her life and you need me to be in her life…” He bore his fangs– with her powers you cannot provide her with the future she deserves. You would never clean enough tables and scrape enough tips to get her what she deserves–

“So you’re just going to wave money at me and act like that fixes everything?” There was so much disgust in your face, even he grew silent– I… I don’t want your money and I’ll make sure Helena has all she needs, if you want to give me money why don’t you start by unfreezing MY bank accounts so I can move the fuck out of this place! If you are so concerned about your daughter’s wellbeing all of a sudden… then let me take care of her.” You growled at him.

“Would that be enough for you to let me be in her life?” He looked so vulnerable right now trying not to anger you further– If you take… if you take the job at Vought you’ve making four times what you make at your two jobs”

“I don’t want to owe you anything.”

You hated yourself, your ego and your honor had been bruised and never healed, you clung to those broken limbs hoping you had it in you to deny him but that look in his eyes and his crazy story told you he wasn’t ever going to stop until he got you to agree.

You knew what man he truly was, you could still see the red, hear his screams and the smell of blood. For once you had to be a hypocrite.

“... You… You can’t tell her… until… until I think it is okay… I won’t work for you… not the job that you’re offering me… I can quit my second job and take yours part-time. I’ll choose my days! Only three days tops, same pay! and Helena can have access to Vought training resources and daycare.” You sank on your shoulders– her powers are only going to get stronger and if she ever loses control… it’ll be my fault if somebody gets hurt again.”

The request was absurd but Homelander was on his feet taking your hand, a beam in his eyes and a shaky smile.

“Your son… he might take it badly if you suddenly bring another kid saying is his sister, you have to be gentle or he’ll get hurt. We can try figure this out… just don’t hurt my kid or yours.”

Your concern was genuine, and his heart began to melt as he saw the worry in your eyes for a child that wasn’t yours.

“Thank you… can… can I come tomorrow to discuss the details?”

You nodded, unable to look at him in the eyes any further, shocked when you received a strange short lived hug, as he parted and headed to the door where your daughter slept soundly, he peered through the crack for quite some time.

You hated him but you couldn’t deny you needed the help, he owed you seven years of child support, he had made you sleep in your car, he had made you fearful of sleep as you slept in shelters and filled you with shame as you jumped from couch to couch with the world's quietest baby.

So he had his usefulness, money wouldn’t fix anything but it would make Helena's life easier.

Taglist: Hi 'cuz you asked here you go @fromforeigntofamiliarity

#personal #homelander #homelander x reader #homelander x you #the boys oc #homelander fanfiction #american royalty #my fic tag #homelander x f! reader #will add to pin post later

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heichou-dancho · 1 month

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FFVII Rebirth thoughts (Spoilers for everything)

I reemerge having finished Rebirth after four weeks and 92 hours in-game playtime. That’s an incredibly short but also massive amount of playtime for me, Yakuza 0 took me a year with pauses. I’m still reeling after finishing chapter 13, and since all my FF buddies from the old days are long gone, I’ll just vent here. I enjoy reading the reactions and thoughts of other players, so maybe someone else does too?

This post is full of spoilers and Shinra fangirling, but it’s about the whole game:

Shinra:

First, somebody on the team that wrote material for the Turks and Rufus must be some Shinra fandom veteran grown up with 20 years of fanon. Just Elena as a whole, Rude getting her that ice cream, Rufus in the Gold Saucer harassing fighting Cloud for fun, Dark Star not only obeying Rufus but also Tseng. Rufus complaining that Tseng is being overprotective… (faints) So much crack and shippy moments, I was grinning like an idiot.

(Is crack fic even a thing anymore? It feels like they’ve gotten rarer)

I expected maybe three or four scenes with the Turks, maybe less for Rufus. AND THEN SQUARE SHOVED THEM IN WHEREVER THEY COULD WITHOUT DERAILING THE PLOT. Elena was given so much room to breathe. Same for Rufus. Those little moments with Darkstar. I’m over the moon.

Okay, Rufus, so your father got stabbed, and the first thing you did after that was recording some motion-capturing and dialogue for a Turk recruitment hologram-video-thingy in an abandoned facility? It makes zero sense, but it’s my favourite protorelic mission and I’ll happily add it to my headcanon as a sign that Rufus gave Tseng his okay to recruit more Turks.

(The real answer would probably be automatically generated AI shenanigans, but that’s not very exciting.)

Viceroy Saruf. Just … Rufus, you’re such a cheeky idiot and I love you. Is there any faction in this world you’re not manipulating from the background? I can’t shake the feeling that being the man in the shadows suits you more than actually openly running the company.

Tseng and Reeve were great, I would love more little moments like that, where the Shinra folks just interact outside of action scenes and dramatic moments. The talk Tseng had with Reno and Rufus in Remake after the Sector 7 collapse hit the same note for me. I want more Reeve in part 3.

The scene between Tseng and Aerith at the temple made my eyes misty, but I wish it had been longer. Tseng keeping it short and abruptly leaving to "make a report" was perfect, and I know Cloud being so cold and cutting Aerith off fits his behaviour, but something about the timing just felt off.

I was surprised that Heidegger would take a bullet for Rufus. For President Shinra, absolutely, but Rufus? Hmm… This makes great fanfic material. I’ve read a fanfic before that tried to reimagine the Shinra executives (even Palmer) as more realistic people, and I found it to be really interesting, but then I’m a weirdo with plot bunnies in my head that involve a younger President Shinra, his wife, Veld, Vincent and the older Shinra execs.

I’ve never been a fan of Hojo but his R re-imagining is one of the few that doesn’t work at all for me. OG Hojo was far more unsettling. R!Hojo is just your typical mad scientist, I just can’t care about him, which is a shame, because him taunting Aerith in Remake with how he dissected Ifalna hit me hard.

I still haven’t quite grasped why Rufus is so obsessed with the Promised Land. It probably all comes down to wanting to be more successful than his father, right? I’m probably forgetting or mixing up details from Remake, Rebirth or the OG here, but I assumed that Rufus would outright dismiss it as a fairy tale.

Apparently there is a Midgar DLC for Power Wash Simulator. Square Enix, where is Hitman: Tseng and a version of Yakuza where I can play the Turks dealing with dumb crap doing missions in Midgar? Give us Shinra fans something, I'm still waiting for the EC version of Before Crisis. And I don't even like gacha mobile games. >:(

General game thoughts:

The open world is fantastic, I want to live in Gongaga or Kalm. So pretty. People online seem to hate the Gongaga map, but the soundtrack and the jungle theme made it work for me. I found the gliding parts in Cosmo Canyon far harder to navigate.

Shinra Manor is terrible with Vincent being it’s only redeeming part. The actual mansion looked great (the portrait of President Shinra was a nice touch) but the upper levels being inaccessible and turning it into another lab dungeon was boring. Same for the box throwing mini-game.

Dio the archaeologist turned body-builder is great, but Shinra knowing about the keystone and just not bothering to use it when President Shinra was looking for the Promised Land is a weird plot hole. It would have been a lot easier than trying to convince Aerith to come to them. There were some other little details like that, that bothered me but it’s a blur now.

Remake Barett made me into a Barret fan, Rebirth Nanaki into a Nanaki fan. The writers are genius when it comes to rewriting these characters from the OG. I’m not really bothered Cid not being grumpy and swearing all the time. Him reminiscing about Ifalna was cute. Vincent using his old Turk skills (and having some lingering loyalty to the job?) was cool. Really looking forward to seeing how they’ll handle Lucrecia, the one character in FFVII I'm so conflicted about.

I’m still confused about Aerith’s death scene, especially the cuts where she’s lying in her own blood and then isn’t. I understand that she’s dead in her current reality, but is the scene without blood (and Aerith "waking up" in Cloud’s arms) Cloud’s hallucination or just a different reality? I’m also utterly confused by how many Aeriths we’re dealing with. The Aerith and Cloud we’re playing with and the sleeping Aerith (and Cloud) from the dimension where Zack lives are one and the same? It’s tying my brain into knots, and not in a good way. That’s why I usually can’t stand from stories involving elaborate time travel loops or parallel universes.

(Man, why doesn't Tumblr allow spaces between paragraphs? I hope your eyes aren't bleeding)

I first played the OG as a young teen. Cloud’s mind being fractured and hallucinating was a neat bit of storytelling back then that I hadn’t encountered in video games before. Twenty years later, I’ve dealt with loved ones who are ill but refuse help, and known plenty of people have some form of psychosis or schizophrenia. Whilst I would never seriously compare Cloud’s problems with rl mental illnesses, I found the scenes where he sees Sephiroth and no one else, or is completely out of it hard to stomach. Interacting with somebody who has hallucinations (even "harmless" ones) or paranoid thoughts is unsettling at best, nightmarish at worst. The group trying to passively bear it and keep things together rings very true (especially Tifa) but I’m surprised that even Barett or Yuffie aren’t trying to confront Cloud about his behaviour at least once.

(I tried to format in html, but it somehow looked worse. I'm old. This is how Vincent must feel like every day.)

Dyne, Myrna and Tseng talking to Aerith at the temple had me tearing up, and I lost it at Aerith’s "date" with Cloud in Ch. 14. Hoo boy, I know Aerith stalling off the inevitable just for a little time, was the game having a very direct conversation with the player about what’s going to come, death and how we deal with it. But to me personally, it was more about how one gets caught up in trauma and repeat it over and over in your head, mulling about the point of where things went wrong and what you could have done to prevent it. I know it doesn’t fit, but that’s what my weird brain made out of it. Also Dyne’s and Aerith’s (at the temple) speeches about how they deal (or didn’t) with grief and trauma rang absolutely true.

Damn you, silly anime action game, you really shouldn’t affect me this deeply, but then a lot of fiction hits me harder than it used to.

#rufus shinra #tseng #ff7 rebirth #ffvii rebirth #spoilers #ff7 rebirth spoilers #shinra #the turks

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vertumnanaturalis · 3 months

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A lot of people seemed to like my last one, so woe! More fic ideas be upon all ye again; compilation of au ideas I posted in LQ and haven't been edited to be easier to read edition!

(below the cut, because theres like 12 of them and its a big messy mess)

Nem?Tang fic where they wake up in some ancient convergent domain plant device with only hazy memories of how they got there but nothing solid enough to work off of, and also why is their hair so long, and where are their clothes, and where is the goddamn colony? Because oopsie daisy! it seems that somebody put them in the ancient alien magitech healing goo and forgot to take them out when they were done, and now two hundred years have passed and everybody else they know and love are long dead, and also apparently some giant ass fleet of earth guys tried to land while they were having a snooze but! oh! whoopsie! yet again! somebody sent them the wrong information about how to safely get through the wormhole and the majority of the fleet did not make it to the surface in one piece!!! and the some of the survivors may or may not have folk stories about people that may or may not be Nem and Tang’s loved ones doing either great or terrible things during those two hundred years they were sleeping through!!

mermaid au where Besk was a mermaid trapped in a research facility and Instance broke her out during her ecoterrorist days but Besk couldn’t go back to the ocean because (hand waves) so she stayed with Instance as a slightly-more-free test subject who could technically come and go as she pleases, and she did, and eventually came back from one of her outings with two whole goddamn babies, and despite their both their hopes both babies seem to be pretty much normal human babies except for the occasional weird non-human thing, like eating whole raw eggs or Tangent having an overnight sex change shortly after saying she’s a girl, and feeling like she’s the only mermaid left in the world eventually leads Besk to doing the same thing she always does, and now Instance is stuck with two ambiguously half-human grieving kindergartners, and now it’s the world’s words hybrid of Wolf Children and The Thirteenth Year (with a mild dose of human experimentation sprinkled on top)

modern day/modern-ish all humans on earth au fic where Sym is a pre-school teacher(or aid??) who just moved to a new town with his beloved edgelord of a boyfriend who never wants to talk about his past or childhood and Sym only knows bits and pieces that he’s mentioned over the past few years (but that’s fine he’s just got his secrets nothing new there), and at his new job with his new class there’s a young single parent of twins that also moved into town only a little bit after he did, and apparently they don’t have anybody in their life besides their kids, they don’t have any family and the kids dad isn’t in the picture, so he does the nice friendly thing and offers to lend a hand if they need help with anything, and one afternoon as he’s supposed to be leaving work after making sure that the kids are all picked up, he spots said single parent and said beloved edgelord talking/arguing about something, because apparently they used to know each other but haven’t seen each other in a long while, and his boyfriend doesn’t wanna hear what “actually super important and kinda immediately relevant” thing that his old friend wants to talk about, and before Sym can really stop them the two kids go running to greet their parent, and look we all know where this plot is heading fellas

(not sure if this one should follow Tang or Dys primarily but Imma go with Tang side for this) fic where there’s more people than canon but they’re still on Vertumna with little research on it & Sol has dream memories (maybe use part of the old idea about the Helio arriving as part of a mini fleet instead of a lone ship?), and Tang’s intelligence is lauded like in canon and she’s put into the best position to learn smarty smarts stuff, while Dys’ rebelliousness gets him no favors with the Man and gets himself marked as a troubled kid and moved away from his sister, with Tang being told that she can seek him out once she’s an adult if she still wants to but for now not to waste her time or energy on worrying about him and focus on her studies. She keeps hearing him being mentioned in passing as being part of some big secret alien-centric program to so she knows that he hasn’t gone awol, but she still doesn’t see him for the next 3 to 5 years even tho she still gets to see most of the other kids (bar Sol, who was also yoinked by the secret alien program). Fast forward to her being an adult enough adult who seems appropriately level headed for doing amoral sciences, so she’s invited to see the big important secret alien project, and “_so Tangent, you know how some of the xenofauna can pass information and feeling between individuals of different species through physical contact, and that there’s some functional technology leftover from the alien civilization that lived here beforehand? And that your brother spent a lot of time exploring ruins? And how sometimes science needs sacrifices? For the greater good and all that? :)?” and Tang gets to see her brother as one of the star subjects of the project’s attempt to recreate a messy version of the array (while not even understanding what it actually is)

like 3 different variants (Geranium, Flulu, and Hal+Tonin+Sol’s she group on a field trip” of “like 3 weeks after landing somebody falls into a mini wormhole and comes out 25 years into the future, except none of them went missing in the second timeline, and now they’re in the future having to deal with the way life actually turned out, and they don’t even know all of the stuff that their other selves do/did, because they may or may not be alive still in this other timeline”. (Actually what got me into working on all those future kid things because I wanted to know who’d be doing what when and with who)

au where Besk blacks out shortly before her suicide attempt and wakes up in a cave on Vertumna, having 0 idea where she is or how she got there, and stumbles around thinking she’s dead until one of the surveyors finds her, and upon getting back to the colony she finds out that she’s supposed to have been dead for the last 11 or so years, with her two five year olds now being sixteen (the same age as her when she left Earth & also how long she spent on the Strato), and she has to learn how to adapt to everything and being alive when she shouldn’t be while there are so many others who died and aren’t magically alive again, and also has to do all this while more or less locked under constant observation, because BOY nobody is going to casually leave her alone for like, so many reasons

fic that opens with Kom waking up in the medbay after the age 14 glow attack and Nem and their younger brothers and all his friends are so unbelievably glad he’s awake and ok, but he keeps learning about the not canon possible things that happened either during the attack or while he was healing (like his mom dying while helping the kids evacuate the creche or chief Rhett and Sol’s parents having died defending geoponics), and he’s just stuck with this unending feeling that he’s supposed to be dead right now, but he’s not, and I’m not sure where to go with the story past that

au where Kom wakes up five years before the Strato reaches the wormhole with the knowledge that he’s going to die ten years from now, and it more or less follows a dreamer Kom story except that he knows that his story only has one conclusion, and rather than trying to prevent his own death he spends that time trying to save and protect as many people in his life as he can (maybe prequel to above scenario?)

obligatory single “nice” modern au fic except that nice has to be in quotation marks because technically it’d be about Dys breaking into Sym’s house after committing a major felony and definitely in a big hurty thinking that it was abandoned, but like surprise! it’s not! and even tho Dys fully expects Sym to call the cops on him and wake up in jail he instead wakes up in Sym’s guest room and immediately assumes that he either died already, accidentally tripped into the fae realm, or Sym is some kinda polite hannibal ass serial killer, and it’d be just a whole bunch of Sym being genuinely kind and nice to Dys while Dys is just “y tho like literally what is wrong with you”, and it takes like 2 years and several more major felonies for them to get together. also this might’ve spawned off of the earlier pre school teacher one but it’s not 100% attached to it so that’s why it has it’s own bulletpoint

2.5 flavors of a Hunger Games AU, which are "special games where its announced that this year each district has to send two siblings/other close family members, and the twins get reaped in their district", "one of the younger boys gets reaped but Kom volunteers in their place", and "Tang watching as Dys gets reaped the first year he's applicable for it and she can't do anything about it, and then having to watch as Kom (in his last year of being applicable) volunteers in her brother's place and all of his siblings are now freaking out" which only came to me as I was sharing the first two.

also have this flawless related image

au where Sym sees videos of wild animals in urban areas being relocated to a better habitat on the data thing Sol gives him and he comes up with a fresh new idea; cut to his two favorite humans (age 13/14) waking up on a strange beach some few thousand kilometers away from the colony several weeks later with 0 idea how they got there (ark opening tune starts to play)

also whatever this is

anyways, that's definately not all of the random au ideas I've had and don't include some of the more developed ones I've actually made effort to work on/flesh out, but these were on hand and I wanted to share them too

#i was a teenage exocolonist #iwatex #wips #this is really messy and chaotic and basically copied from my phones note app #also yeah. these do all kinda start with somebody waking up in a situation. but this is the wake up again game so I'm allowed to do that

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lollytea · 3 months

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hi. this may feel a bit silly but i just wanted to say how much of an excellent writer you are and im really appreciate your work!

ive only really read ur toh fics but recently i read ur trolls fic and really, i know u may feel differently abt a fic u wrote at 18, but i was really blown away!! it was so fun and thrilling of a read!

ur style of writing has such a distinct voice for the characters you write, which makes me adore your writing for willow; my fave for toh fics!! but seeing how you wrote branch and poppy made me all the more appreciate your growth as a writer and really sold me to your story telling! ur just really get a lot of characters and their very complex personalities so well!

im sorry to just send u a big paragraph of this haha but i hope it lets u know i'm always excited to read anything u write!! (v excited for the aladarius, lalaland, or batb au whatever you decide to go!!)

ok im done sorry!! ☆ hope u have a nice day!!

WAHHHH!!! HI HELLO!!! I've been very down for this last week but reading this made me very very happy!! There's an effort to devote to writing a little paragraph like this and I'm so grateful that you chose to take the time out of your day to do it. You must be a very lovely person <33

Since TOH is my special little passion right now, I'm of course ECSTATIC when someone tells me they enjoy the fics I write. So thank you, thank you so much!!

My trolls fics are different but just as special!! Even tho I'm not personally all that connected to the stuff I wrote all those years ago, I find it very beautiful and meaningful when somebody says, after such a long time, that something you made brought them joy!! It's like drawing a smiley face on wet cement and then a stranger sees it immortalized like a decade later and they smile. A very sweet pleasant echo I think. Thank you for telling me!! I so very much enjoy feedback on my old stuff, to this day!!!

And on my new stuff too!! DELIGHTED you like Willow!! I like her too!! Love writing her and spending time with her!!!

And I'm so happy you're excited. I'm excited too!! Idk when I'll get to the other stuff you mentioned but the batb fic is where my heart is at right now, so an update on that will likely be the next thing I post!!

Anyway, thank you to bits, MWAH

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kosmikowboj · 11 months

Text

oh my god I did it

meant to post this last night but it was Late by the time I finished editing, so I just went straight off to bed; here it is, in all its glory—my fic for @merlin-fic-server’s tournament of champions! basic premise is you have to write a 10k fic in 24 hours, and somehow I ended up with 13k. something about the indomitable human spirit, something something. HUGE shoutout to my group, group 4, because those 13k would definitely not exist without their encouragement <3

my prompts:

setting - western au genre - hurt/comfort trope - marriage prompt - talking and communication issues

there’s some “Old West”-typical gun violence and drinking, the specifics of which are posted in the end notes on ao3. but, by and large, it’s a dumb, fun fic about our two favorite idiots falling in love that let me play into my affinity for horses and the kitschy, overly-romanticized western aesthetic, lol. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it!

tennessee whiskey

[read on ao3; word count: 13.4k]

Goldbluff had to be, by far, one of the busiest towns Merlin had ever traveled to.

There were just as many people on foot as there were on horseback, with seemingly no order as to who was going where. People clumped in the street and outside of storefronts, haggling for lower prices on tack while their kids played catch perilously close to the horses and buggies. In any given patch of shade there were a half a dozen people playing some kind of card game, and someone was chasing a dog up one of the walkways. Merlin ultimately had to dismount just to avoid inadvertently trampling somebody.

His horse Aithusa didn’t seem to mind the commotion, too busy nosing at strangers’ pockets in an attempt to find a snack. Merlin, though, couldn’t help but feel a bit overwhelmed; his bounty-hunting work typically took him to the outskirts of any given place, and he generally liked to keep to himself otherwise. This was definitely a change of pace.

It certainly didn’t help in finding an inn, that was for damn sure. By the time Merlin found a place not already chock-full of people the sun was hanging low in the sky, blanketing the town with warm rays made hazy by the dust. The sign outside proclaimed the place as “Golden Horizons Inn”, which Merlin might have found a little funny if he wasn’t bone-tired and sweatier than a city-slicker. As he might have expected, the bustling scene from earlier was largely due to cityfolk who had come to town hoping to find the gold for which it was named. That, Merlin had no interest in—he was here for a much different purpose.

But first, he needed a drink.

The Rising Sun was the closest saloon to Golden Horizons, and he tied Aithusa up outside with dinner and a promise that he’d be quick. Hanging out in bars wasn’t really his standard fare, but it was a good way to get the lay of the land, so to speak. Plus, he was exhausted, having been traveling for days on end between towns with a drying waterskin—and that was before he had had to fight the crowds to find a place to sleep for the night. There was nothing wrong with a little pick-me-up after all that.

Tacked up just outside the bar was a wanted poster, yellowed with age and torn at the corners. It boasted a handsome five-hundred-dollar reward for the capture of the infamous bandit Emrys, though the attached image was an insultingly poor recreation of said “ne'er-do-well”. Merlin scoffed, pondering it for a moment, and then went inside.

“You’re not from around here,” the barkeep said as Merlin took his seat. He was handsome in a roguish sort of way, with scruffy facial hair and dark brown half-curls that fell to his shoulders. It was the kind of face that made Merlin smile a little involuntarily, and he leaned into it.

“What gave it away?”

“You look like someone I would have made a point to know if you were,” the barkeep replied, winking.

“Flatterer.”

“That’s what my husband says.” The barkeep sighed dramatically before holding out his hand. “Name’s Gwaine.”

“Merlin.”

Gwaine’s eyes went wide with surprise as they shook hands. “The bounty hunter!”

Merlin sighed, propping his elbows up on the bar. “For better or for worse.”

“What brings you here? What juicy gossip have I missed?”

“None, I’m afraid,” Merlin replied. “Just looking for work.” Which was not, to his credit, a total lie.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll have better luck of it than all these people diggin’ for gold. Don’t get me wrong—I love when all these idiots come to town. Business is booming. Obviously. But, little town secret for you: pretty sure they’re gonna be shit outta luck.”

Merlin chuckled.

“Well, anyway. What can I do you for? It’ll be on the house, whatever it is.”

“That’s not necessary.”

“You’re the prettiest boy to walk in here since my husband. And you can hold a conversation. It’s on the house.”

Merlin wasn’t one to refuse free food and drink a second time. “You make Mule Skinners?”

Gwaine made a small, unexpected sound, grinning. “You keep surprising me, Merlin. Figured a man like you would shoot his whiskey straight.”

“I’m not a masochist.”

Gwaine laughed. “You’re better than the legends say. How do you feel about fish?”

“For free? Great.”

“Perfect.”

While Gwaine set to prepping his drink, Merlin took the opportunity to properly take in the saloon around him. There weren’t many people sitting at the bar with him; most of the patrons were scattered among the tables, chatting and laughing with a rowdy sort of loudness that always made Merlin annoyed. The decor consisted largely of mounted deer heads and kitschy posters about cowboys and finding gold—Gwaine was a master in marketing, he could give him that—along with a couple of plants behind the bar. That latter part was surprising, especially considering that they actually seemed to be alive and well. Merlin made a note to ask him about them when he got back.

Before Gwaine could return, though, Merlin caught sight of a couple of men crowded around a table nestled in one of the saloon’s corners. They were being particularly loud, which wasn’t out of the ordinary, but upon closer inspection he saw that they were all crowded around someone sitting at the table. He frowned, getting up from his seat.

As he neared the small crowd, his suspicions were confirmed, now able to make out what they were actually saying over the general din of the saloon. “Come on, now,” one of the men goaded, a big burly blond bloke with a cruel smile set in his face. He shoved the sitting man’s shoulder with an unkind force. “Do you really think you’re going to make anything of yourself out here?”

“Alright, come off it,” Merlin said loudly. The blond man turned to look at him, raising an amused eyebrow. He was dressed in a red button-down with white threading, tucked loosely into a pair of too-clean pants that were held up by a garish belt buckle. He also had on a nice leather vest, and a cowboy hat that clearly hadn’t seen a whole lot of actual work. It all pointed towards him being another idiot from the city who had come out to Goldbluff looking for gold and a quick buck.

“What’s that now?” the man asked, clearly expecting Merlin to back off.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize I was speaking to a simpleton. Let me rephrase.” Merlin stepped between the group and the table. “Leave him alone. He’s just having dinner.”

The man barked out a shocked laugh. “And just who do you think you are?”

“A halfway-decent person. You oughta try it.”

The man was twirling a pistol around in his hand, over and over like an anxious habit. Merlin figured it was supposed to look threatening, but he couldn’t be less bothered.

“You have some nerve coming into my town and telling me how to act,” the man seethed.

“Your town?” Merlin laughed, resting his hands on his hips. “Who the hell are you? The president?”

“Arthur,” the man replied hotly. “The sheriff’s son.”

finish on ao3

#my writing #merlin bbc #bbc merlin #merlin #arthur pendragon #guinevere #morgana #gwaine #merthur #morgwen #gwaine/percival #western au #cowboy au #man i rlly do not know how to tag fics LMAO #hurt/comfort #fanfic #merthur fanfic #merlin fanfic #bbc merlin fanfic

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little-lego-ninjas · 6 months

Text

lightning in a bottle (burning full throttle)

Guess what I just posted on AO3 guys???? Are you excited, because I am! I'm actually really proud of this monster (it's 12.6k words h e l p), and I hope you guys like reading it as much as I liked writing it!

Fair warning, this is filled to the brim with queerness (as a queer myself, I could not resist the fruit ninja), so read with caution ig lmao.

Gun tw, and some minor injuries (somebody gets shot, but it's minor), slurs (not actually written bc i am too soft for it but wanted to include it bc i have had bad race-related encounters lately, and i protect my friends from toxic people as much as possible), ptsd, anxiety, anxiey/panic attack, gender issues, y'know the works.

There's probably a few more i can't think of rn, but all the tags are on AO3 if you feel the need to check! Nothing super insane happens (no weird age stuff or sex), so enjoy!!

AO3 link in case you wanna read it over there or leave a big comment or something i dunno. For you <3.

Fic below the cut bc it's too damn long.

"Okay, have we all got our roles down?" Lloyd asked at the head of the dining room table, papers and maps and blueprints scattered around him. His hair was a mess, blond waves tangled together and falling into his face. No doubt from staying up all night, finalizing and piecing everything together.

Cole nodded, his arms crossed over his chest. "I've got mine."

"I do as well," Zane added, his fingers threaded together atop the table.

Kai sighed before anyone else could say they had everything ready. "Why do I have to go in disguise? Shouldn't we let Zane do it?"

Pixal answered before Lloyd could open his mouth, her green eyes hard. "Kai, we have already discussed why you and Jay are going in disguise. Zane's cloaking software is down, mine is nowhere near the level his is, and Cole is going in disguise too."

She arched a brow at him. "I don't see the issue."

Kai gestured around the table, chest tight. "I'm going to be in a party while Nya, Lloyd, and you," he shot a blatant look at Pixal, "try to stop an assassin."

"Sorry for worrying like a good brother would," he grumbled as an afterthought.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, making him glance over to see who it was. Nya looked mildly annoyed, but mostly sympathetic, which was a good sign. "Kai, you know you aren't just going to a party."

"I know, I just-"

"Get worried." Jay finished, his chin resting in his hands. "We know. But this is serious stuff, me and you are going to protect Cyrus Borg."

When his name was uttered, Pixal looked down at her hands. Zane reached across the table, taking one of her hands. "We will not let anything happen to him, Pixal."

Pixal looked up, nodding. She didn't say anything though. Kai could understand her concerns, considering it was her father that they were attempting to save from an untimely death. Kai couldn’t imagine having to be in her position, and it only gave him more empathy towards her for being so strong about the entire subject. It couldn’t have been an easy thing to listen to, or talk about.

Cole nudged Zane’s shoulder, his expression a mixture of his usual soft one and a slightly more serious one reminiscent of his younger days of leading the team. “Besides, we have more help too. Skylor and some of the other elemental masters, right Lloyd?”

Lloyd nodded, digging through the scattered papers until he could find the one he had written all their names on. “Most of them helped with the resistance, so we’re in good hands. That assassin won’t know what hit them, Pix.”

Pixal pursed her lips, then stood. “Fantastic. I’ll go ensure my weaponry is ready and functional.”

Nya’s gaze followed the girl who had taken up her old mantle, the blue in her eyes holding a depth Kai had begun to notice whenever his little sister looked at Pixal. Nya sighed, pushing her chair away from the table. “I feel so bad for her.”

Zane nodded, his fingers threaded together again, something the nindroid had begun to do after his time in the NeverRealm. “I do as well, but we mustn’t let our worries consume the mission. We cannot fail.”

Cole rubbed Zane’s shoulder. “We won’t, Z. We won’t.”

Zane didn’t look convinced, but he did shoot Cole a smile that the other boy returned. Kai watched them all silently, his chest still tight with the idea of letting them risk their lives while he stayed inside at a party. It felt wrong and like he was slacking off, even though he knew he had an important role to play. A hand ruffled at his hair, snagging his attention. He shot a glare at Jay, who had an impish little smirk on his lips.

“Don’t you ruin this for me, Kai. It’s the anniversary of Borg’s empire!” Jay sighed with delight, earning several eye-rolls that he ignored. “What a legend.”

Kai scoffed, standing up. “Remember that we’re there to protect Cyrus, not party.”

Jay waved his hand. “Duh. Just think it’s neat.”

Lloyd hummed, shifting through his papers again. “Since it’s a pretty exclusive party, I think you two should really dress the part. High-class and stuff.”

Kai grinned. “I have just the suit.”

///

Kai tugged at his tie in mild annoyance, shooting a glare at his reflection. He didn't like the idea of just sitting on the sidelines while everyone else ran around playing hero. It didn't sit right with him to not be in the heat of the matter, but rather going incognito to better blend in.

Granted, Zane was pretending to be the intern who double-checked invitations, and Cole was one of the guards at the entrance, but still. If the news from Skylor handed down to her through the pipeline of elemental masters was true, which it was, Cyrus Borg was set to be a prime target to be assassinated tonight during his company's anniversary party.

Kai wanted to be the guy beating up the assassin, not hiding in a crowd of rich tech-heads, but he had to begrudgingly agree with Lloyd's plan. It was the best course of action, the best set-up to ensure Cyrus Borg and everyone attending the party would be safe. He just hated the idea of his family risking their lives without him beside them.

Heaving a sigh, Kai glanced at his reflection again, tugging at the cuffs of his sleeves. He had to admit, he looked nice. The suit was a bit darker than he would have chosen for himself, but it wasn't too terrible. It was fitted just enough to benefit his shape, but not overly so. His hair was what was bothering him the most, if he was being honest.

Instead of its usual spiked style, his hair looked much like it did when he was wet, falling into his eyes enough to bother him. Kai scrubbed his fingers through his hair again, grumbling under his breath as he did so. Maybe Nya was right when she said he needed a haircut.

"Kai."

Kai met his sister's eyes in the mirror. She was in her gi, only serving to remind Kai of the danger she was about to put herself in. "Yeah?"

Nya's lips twitched, as if she was fighting off a smile. "Have you been brooding this whole time?"

Kai opened his mouth, then clicked his tongue. " No ."

His sister stepped closer to him, turning him away from the mirror. "I know what you're stewing over, okay? But I think you need to see your boyfriend."

Kai knit his brows together. "Is Jay not helping me survey the party in disguise?"

"No," Nya said with a shake of her head. "He's still helping you, but I meant see like look at him because, uh."

Her cheeks pinkened. "He looks great."

Kai snorted, elbowing Nya. "You are such a bi disaster."

"Wha- says the pan disaster!" Nya sputtered as Kai left his bedroom, heading for Jay's.

He chuckled under his breath at the sound of Nya's grumbles, stopping before Jay's door. Knocking, Kai opened his mouth to ask if he could enter, but Jay interrupted him.

"Come in!"

Kai pushed the door open, a smile on his face and words on his tongue, only for his mouth to go dry at the sight of Jay in front of his bedroom mirror. Now, Kai had no doubts in his mind that Jay was attractive- and super fucking adorable -but he'd always seen Jay as pretty, or cute.

Drop-dead gorgeous was not a term he used lightly, and in this case, he meant it as if it was a precious sacred statement by the First Spinjitzu Master himself, which was to say, he was not anywhere close to joking about it. Jay cleaned up nice, and Kai had never really gotten to see it before.

Now though, Jay was fiddling with a silver hoop earring as Kai openly gaped at him, eyes drinking in every inch of his boyfriend. When Lloyd had suggested that Kai and Jay go together as a rich couple, Kai hadn't disputed the rich couple part, but he had figured it would be him and Jay in suits and showing up holding hands or something.

He had not expected to find Jay in a dress.

Not just any dress, no. Jay had found the most beautiful shade of midnight blue to ever exist, the color making his eyes that much more electric and enticing. The dress itself was fitted all the way down to the hemline, going to the top of Jay's toes. It had a sheath neckline, the material lying around Jay like a necklace, forming an upside down v that covered his chest entirely, but left part of his collarbones free.

Where sleeves would be, fingerless gloves of the same material encased his wrist up, stopping at the middle of Jay's biceps, freckled shoulders on full display. Jay smiled at his reflection, fingers playing with his silver hoop earrings before he noticed Kai had stepped inside of his bedroom. Jay's cheeks colored. "O-oh. I thought you were Nya."

Jay turned to face Kai, and Kai got a wonderful view of the thigh-high leg slit the dress had. If his mouth had been dry before, it was dust now. Just the sight was doing something to him, and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Is it too much?" Jay asked, fingers playing with each other. "I figured fancy party meant fancy, and this is the fanciest thing I've really got so…"

Kai found his voice when Jay trailed off, looking so defeated that Kai wanted to punch whatever had made him feel that way. Since he was pretty sure he had done that, Kai decided that punching himself before going undercover was a really stupid idea. He didn't want to sport a black eye and draw attention to himself.

"No!" He exclaimed, grabbing Jay's hands, noticing blue nail polish on his nails, matching his dress. "No, you look… wow."

Jay's blush worsened, his smile a little embarrassed. "I thought you'd think my hair was stupid."

Kai knit his brows, studying the usually messy curls that were in some semblance of order. And they were longer than Kai recalled them being just three hours ago. Curious, he shifted his fingers through the chestnut hair, amazed that the curls stretched down to the base of Jay's neck before springing back up to rest lightly under his earlobes.

"It's beautiful."

Kai cleared his throat when he saw how soft Jay's gaze had turned. "Uh, I mean, not as good as mine, you know. Still good though."

Jay's smile shifted into a smirk. "Uh-huh."

Not wanting to give Jay more ammo than he already had, Kai gestured at Jay's dress. "So, any particular reason for that? Asides to be sexy, I mean."

Jay flushed terribly at that, swatting at Kai's shoulder. "I figured a guy and a girl would be less attention-grabbing than two guys for us going undercover."

Kai must have made a sour expression because Jay shook his head. "No, I made the choice, I'm fine."

Kai pursed his lips. "I know you, Jay. If you look the tiniest bit uncomfortable, we're finding you the manliest suit ever to bash any dysphoria, got it?"

Jay laughed at that, drawing Kai's attention to his face, the way his freckles bunched up whenever he laughed, along with the delicate black lines surrounding his boyfriend's eyes. Jay had actually gone and put makeup on, which Kai hadn't seen in a very long time. Heat pooled into Kai's body, his lips itching to meet Jay's. "I- I'm serious. No dysphoria will ruin your night on my watch."

Jay nodded, a small smile on his lips. "Thanks, but I'll let you know if it gets to be too much, okay?"

Kai sighed, but relented at the lightning ninja's pointed gaze. "Alright, fine. But seriously, if you get misgendered, I might hit someone out of reflex alone."

Jay snorted, moving around Kai to get to his bed. Kai watched him, unsure of what else to say. Another compliment? Jay tugged a pair of strappy black heels out of a box from under his bed. "Restrain yourself, babe."

Kai stiffened at the word, every nerve alight with want. In the end, he was a weak man, a man who just wanted Jay to feel comfortable in his skin, to kiss on Jay and touch him reverently, and breathe promises of love against freckled skin. Kai crossed the room to Jay easily, the lightning ninja still busy putting on his heels.

(Which were also unfairly attractive on Jay, but Kai would circle back to that later.)

Jay glanced up when Kai tapped his bare shoulder, his expression playful. "Hm?"

Kai scowled at Jay, nudging his boyfriend backwards until he could pin him against the mattress. "You know what you're doing."

Jay laughed softly, twining his arms around Kai's neck, fingers playing with his hair. "You look hot too, by the way."

Kai winked, "You know it."

Jay rolled his eyes and Kai locked their lips together, not entirely aware of the world around him anymore. Jay was more important than the world, clearly and obviously. He pulled back only to dive right back in, tongue running along the ever-soft lips of his lover, Jay making a delicate sound underneath him. Kai felt a heel nudge his hip, hands tightening in his hair.

The kiss deepened, Kai's tongue tracing the inside of Jay's mouth, small shocks crossing from Jay to Kai, barely there moments of electricity that made Kai shudder and kiss Jay harder, eager for a bigger reaction. Before he could cross that line, Jay pushed him up and away from his lips a little, blue eyes meeting amber.

"Kai," Jay whispered, lips so pink and plump and Kai really didn't want to stop. "The mission?"

Kai pursed his lips, then kissed Jay again, a soft peck instead of the passionate one he wanted to continue. "After, if we aren't exhausted, I'll pick up where we left off."

Jay nodded, cheeks flushed but his eyes bright with excitement at the promise. "Sounds like a plan."

Kai crawled off of Jay, halting halfway off at the sight of Jay's leg being mostly uncovered from the slit in the dress. Teasingly, Kai drug his fingertips against the soft skin as he finished crawling off of Jay, hearing his boyfriend gasp prettily. Kai adjusted his suit jacket, then ran his fingers through his hair again.

He shot Jay a puzzled glance that was mostly fake. "Are you coming?"

Jay looked breathless, cheeks even darker than before. "You- You fucker."

Kai, unable to help himself, shot Jay a wink as he made his way out of the room. "I do try."

Kai got smacked upside the head with Mr. Cuddlywomp, but hey, it was worth it in his eyes. He needed something good to keep his mind away from the dark thoughts of potential failure tonight.

///

Kai had to gape at the light show that was occurring at Borg’s tower, the building glowing in prismatic colors and holographic words that screamed the reason for the party. He had to admit it was pretty, but with Jay on his arm, it wasn’t comparable in the slightest. Shooting a glance at his boyfriend, he found Jay’s electric blue eyes alight with wonder, his lips shaping words that Kai could barely hear.

“What was that last bit?” He asked, grinning when Jay flushed.

“O-oh.” Jay twirled one of his curls around his finger, nervous. “Just… it’s pretty.”

Kai nodded, nodding towards the line of equally lavishly dressed individuals, pointing Jay in the right direction. His boyfriend was a little overwhelmed by the lights and the people, and Kai was one-hundred percent okay with being the grounding point for him. Quietly, Kai ducked his head to whisper against Jay’s ear as they got into the line. “If you feel bad, let me know.”

Jay nodded, his eyes darting from one head to another, analyzing and categorizing them the way he did. Kai hadn’t understood it at one point in his life, thinking Jay was just easily distracted (which was true), but now he knew it was how Jay dealt with getting overwhelmed. He counted how many other people he might have to interact with, how many blinding lights would flash, how they spoke or reacted so he could match them.

It was how he coped, and Kai could see why. He had done it a couple of times, only to find it very helpful. Granted, he sucked at mimicking other people, but he did try his best if his unhoned skills would be useful. Sometimes he looked back to the time he pretended to be his father and cringed. How Nya had perfectly emulated their mother’s voice was lost on him, but it was impressive all the same.

Turning his attention back to the line, Kai found two security guards only a few people ahead of them. One was a nindroid, the other was Cole. Cyrus Borg was only loosely aware of the threat looming over him when Lloyd had contacted him prior to the party about the lead they had, but he hadn’t disagreed with anything the ninja had suggested they do. As long as they didn’t destroy his tower or harm his guests, the scientist was okay with them playing dress-up.

Kai understood why Lloyd had ultimately decided against telling Borg the entire reason they were attending his anniversary party incognito. If Cyrus Borg knew about the threat, he would cancel the party and force the assassin to try another time, which would leave Borg paranoid and the ninja in the dark about when the assassin would try again. That didn't mean Kai liked withholding information though.

When Jay tapped at Kai’s arm, he felt a brief second of worry, only to find a small smile on Jay’s lips. The lightning ninja was holding back a giggle. “Kai, look behind us.”

Curious, Kai did as he was instructed, almost laughing himself. Directly behind them stood Dareth, dressed surprisingly nicely with an invitation in his hand, holding a conversation with a rather wealthy-looking elderly couple that looked entertained by him. Kai snickered under his breath, setting off Jay’s giggles. “How on earth did he get an invite?”

Jay shrugged. “I think he won the civilian raffle for invitations? He’s like Borg's biggest fan.”

Kai arched his brow. “But baby, I thought that was you?”

Jay’s blushing cheeks were a perfect reward, and he didn’t get a chance to retaliate before they reached security. Kai showed both Cole and the nindroid their invitations, then pocketed them again. The nindroid studied them, then shared a glance with Cole, who shrugged.

“Hate to be that guy,” Cole started, pushing off of the door jam he had been leaning against, “but I need to check for concealed weapons.”

Kai made a big show of sighing loudly, unlinking his arm from Jay’s. “Oh, if you must.”

Jay opened his purse, revealing a rather nice wallet and some miscellaneous items. “Nothing but my emergency make-up.”

Kai almost jerked his head around at the sound of Jay’s voice, so light and airy. Cole looked momentarily stunned too, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Er, yeah. You’re good.”

The nindroid nodded, gesturing to the open doors. “Please enjoy your evening.”

Kai shot him a grin, sliding his arm around Jay’s waist. “I’m sure we will.”

The entryway had been filled with streamers and balloons, all sorts of people wandering around and laughing together before they headed for the elevators. Before he and Jay could get that far though, their invitations would be checked for authenticity by the intern at the front desk, who happened to be Zane in disguise. It wasn’t as effective as his cloaking device, but he still looked every bit the part of the nerdy guy who ran the desk.

Zane had even modulated his voice to better fit the role, slightly nervous at being handed so much power and responsibility by someone so high above him. “May I see your invitations?”

Kai handed the papers over, feigning indifference while Jay looked around with wide blue eyes. Zane nodded after a moment, “You’re on the list, thank you for attending!”

Jay smiled sweetly and Kai nodded, both of them making for the elevators. The party was held at the top floor, normally Borg’s office but remodeled for a skyline view and filled with hors d'oeuvres and champagne for the occasion. Kai couldn't quite understand how the assassin could get a shot with all those windows, but he wouldn't underestimate the possibility.

He hoped everything was going well on the other end of the mission, and that Lloyd, Nya, and Pixal had managed to get into position with no issues. He wouldn’t be able to check his comm until later, after he could make for the bathroom without drawing suspicion.

When the elevator doors closed, Kai slumped slightly. “Who knew I would already be tired?”

Jay shrugged, a tube of mascara in hand, squinting at his reflection in the elevator’s mirror. “Pretending is hard.”

There was a depth inside those words that Kai wanted to understand, but he decided to broach the topic later. Instead, he watched as Jay messed with his eyelashes, even though they were fine. “Jay?”

“Hm?”

“Don’t be nervous.”

Jay laughed, capping the tube and dropping it back inside of his purse. “That’s difficult for me.”

Kai nodded, taking one of Jay’s hands, pressing a kiss to his palm. “I know.”

Jay rolled his eyes, watching as they climbed floors. “Ready to do some more pretending, hot stuff?”

Kai laughed, pulling Jay flush against him for a split-second, relishing in the closeness before he shifted their positions again, arm around Jay's waistline. “Always.”

Jay was flushed when the doors opened, shooting Kai a dirty look that made him grin. His grin faltered when he caught sight of Cyrus Borg, falling back into mission mode with ease. The inventor was holding a glass of champagne in one hand, laughing with a group of people Kai had seen around the building, no doubt some of his employees.

Kai and Jay stepped out of the elevator, and Kai skimmed the room, mentally labeling anything that could be useful. He faltered at the crowd though. There were so many people all dressed so nicely that it left Kai reeling, so many sparkling bits of jewelry and finery that was foreign to him.

If he felt broke, he had no idea how much worse Jay felt. Kai knew how the lightning ninja got sometimes, wishing he had enough money to give his parents everything they deserved to have. Kai felt the same way sometimes, but he knew it lurked in the back of Jay's head more than his own. After so much time, Jay still felt as if he had something to prove, to show he wasn't just some kid from a junkyard.

Why? Kai wasn't entirely sure. Kai tightened his hold around Jay's waist, getting his boyfriend to look up at him, inquisitive eyes meeting his own.

“Split up?" He suggested, watching Jay closely for any sign of distress.

Jay nodded, nudging Kai towards the table with hors d'oeuvres and flutes of champagne. “Go be a gentleman and get me a drink.”

Kai bowed playfully, taking Jay’s hand and pressing a kiss to his ring finger. “Of course, darling.”

Jay laughed softly, shoving Kai away. Kai watched him for a second, then made for the table, scanning the faces around him. Any one of them could be the person after Borg, even if they would have had hell getting past both Cole and Zane. He couldn’t let his guard down, not even for getting in-character. To passerby, he would simply look a little nervous, something many people around him would relate to.

The table held more than just drinks and hors d'oeuvres upon closer inspection. It also held all sorts of pastries that made Kai's mouth water. It took more restraint than he had hoped it would to prevent himself from sampling them all. Maybe it had been for the best that Cole wasn't at the party, considering his rather glaring weakness for desserts.

Kai snagged two flutes of champagne, then glanced out at the sea of posh strangers, his heart beginning to thud against his ribs. What happened to his charisma? He could handle this. It wasn't hard, putting on a fake front, he had done it multiple times over the years. Somehow though, the idea of faking for multi-millionaires felt… dangerous.

It hadn't stopped Jay from immediately becoming popular though, several ladies dressed in their own stunning finery had surrounded him, complimenting his dress and asking him questions that he answered easily. Kai pursed his lips, glancing back at the table before he snagged one of the pastries, shifting the glasses to one hand as he placed it on a napkin to take over to Jay.

Jay tended to do better if he felt secure and had someone he cared for close by. Kai knew the pastry would be an added bonus, considering Jay's love of desserts. The champagne was a pretense, something that might be sipped once or twice, but ultimately ignored. Kai scanned the crowd again, plotting out the exact path he would need to make it to Jay.

"Huh, didn't think you'd be here."

Kai flinched at the words, nearly spilling champagne on the floor. His gaze landed on an all-too familiar face, one that made him a little happy, a little angry, and mostly confused.

"Ronin?"

///

Cole tried to maintain his focus as he watched Jay and Kai vanish inside of the building, but it was hard. He had no clue what to expect, and honestly the evening had been borderline boring. It would have been completely boring if the adrenaline from the idea of an assassin trying to kill Borg wasn't at the forefront of his mind, but still. He was growing impatient just standing in place.

He almost choked when he saw who was next in line, Dareth grinning at him before his brows dipped together. Cole watched as the nindroid examined Dareth's invitation, assigning a name with a face, but the brown ninja's gaze remained locked on Cole the entire time. Cole couldn't help but think of the last time he had seen Dareth in disguise, how easily the older man had seen through it.

This time, it seemed, was no different. Dareth snapped his fingers and pointed at him. "Cole! I knew that was you!"

Cole pressed his lips together tightly. "Hey Dareth."

"When'd you get a side gig?"

Cole shrugged, gesturing for Dareth to come closer so he could check for weapons, which he heavily doubted he would find, but protocol was protocol. After ensuring the man was weaponless, he gestured through the open doors to the desk where Zane was stationed. "Have fun Dareth, you're cleared."

Dareth grinned at him, happily crossing the threshold. "Thanks dude!"

Cole shook his head with a small smile. Sometimes Dareth was just the thing that helped them ensure everything went according to plan. Maybe this was one of those times. After all, Dareth was the man who had done everything in his power to help them anyway he possibly could, no matter the risks he faced because of it.

"A hem."

Cole snapped his attention back to the world around him, rather than the one inside of his head. He found an elderly couple sharing aggravated looks between one another, and his nindroid companion looking exasperated.

"Sir, it's only protocol," the nindroid started, only to be cut off by the man, who flicked his hand at both the nindroid and Cole.

"Nonsense is what it is! An over-analytical farce that is as unnecessary as it is uncouth."

The woman by his side nodded, her expression pinched. "We never carry weapons." She said the word as if she could think of nothing fouler in the world, which made Cole bite back a sigh.

While he agreed weapons were a last result form of attack, that didn't mean they were inherently bad. It was a tool, depending on who used the knife made the knife either good or bad. That didn't make the knife inherently evil if it was used to harm someone, but some people just couldn't see it the way he did.

Different opinions were important, but not over something that was simple protocol. Now, if the protocol had the couple stripping down to their underthings? That Cole could see as bad. This was more of a minor annoyance, rather than something truly terrible.

"Sir, ma'am, this is simply to ensure not only Mr. Borg's safety," Cole looked pointedly at both of them, "but also yours."

The man looked downright insulted, tugging at the cuffs of his sleeves. "You have no right to speak to me."

Cole knit his brows, entirely lost for almost three seconds. It hit him when the man's wife moved to hide behind him slightly. A stab of guilt jabbed its way into his chest, even though he shouldn't have felt it at all. It wasn't his fault his skin was darker than theirs, or that he was taller than them, or stronger and more muscular.

It hurt though, to be looked at and only seen as a threat rather than a person too. Even the nindroid looked stunned, but the man continued. "Not only are you going to place your hands upon me and my wife, but you are asking for us to let you do that. My answer is no ."

"Would you change your mind if he was white?"

Cole snapped his gaze back, finding Dareth in the doorway, looking more furious than Cole had ever seen him. The commotion and hold up had snagged a lot of attention, the people in line whispering to each other and shooting glances at Cole. It made him nauseous to have so much attention on him, and not for the first time, he wished he was smaller.

The man looked stunned. "I- what are you implying?"

Dareth stepped forward, moving to stand between Cole and the wealthy man. "If I were the guard, would you listen?"

The man shrugged. "I do not rightly know, since you aren't. I do not feel safe with-"

"Do not say that ." Dareth hissed. "Don't you dare."

Before the man or his wife could speak again, the nindroid stepped forward, his hands raised placatingly. "If you will not allow us to check for hidden weapons, then we must decline your entrance to the building. Deeply sorry."

The man huffed, snatching his wife's arm. "I am as well, for having to deal with that -"

Cole's ears were ringing after the word was uttered, one he hadn't heard in a very long time. It reminded him of the first time he had learned what it meant when he was little, how his mother had clutched him close and whispered that it was just a word while his father raged at the parents of the little girl who had said it. While he didn't remember her name, he remembered her smug face when she had said it.

Almost like she had a right to call him that, to tear him down because he looked different than she did.

The world slammed back into focus when he felt a hand on his arm, the touch that normally would be grounding painful. There were so many voices, all saying different things, and his vision was a blur at best. Cole closed his eyes tightly, trying to breathe, but it felt like he was seven again, trembling when the teacher snapped at him for missing the "very easy steps", the words he muttered unkind and as horrible as what the little girl had said.

It was part of the reason he ran away.

The world around him was falling in and out of focus every time he opened his eyes, so just kept them shut, trying to control his breathing. Everything began to shift though, the loud voices falling away and the touch that had felt like fire now a more bearable presence, one he accepted readily now. He knew he was moving, the hand on his arm a guiding light, but he still didn't open his eyes.

He was almost afraid too, after what had happened the last time he had opened them. He had to get his head back in the game, back into the role he was playing for the mission, but if he opened his eyes and could only see the past, how could he help in the present?

///

Perched on the edge of the roof, Lloyd surveyed the city below and around him, the lights always brighter than needed. They never bothered him too badly though, so he didn't mind them. Better lighting made it easier to track down the villains than poor lighting did anyway. Unable to find anything out of the usual, Lloyd lowered his binoculars with a sigh.

Minus Cyrus Borg's anniversary party happening across from the skyscraper he was perched on, the city was in a normal state of function. Families were eating dinner, shifts were being switched, the neon lights alive with the night and the city they lit up. There was no sign of an assassin who wanted Pixal's father dead for reasons no one had managed to crack.

Lloyd shook his head, turning his gaze down to his sleeve, which he pushed up and out of the way. Tapping twice at the bracelet on his wrist, he watched the holographic main menu pull up, which he swiped through until he found contacts and communications. He double-checked that his settings were correct and ready to go, then he patched himself into the comm network he, Pixal, Neuro, and Nya had thrown together.

"Anyone hear me?"

Several voices answered, little blips showing their positions on his digital map. Lloyd felt a little of his tension ease at the sight, everyone was in position and ready to go. "Give me sights, what've we got on our hands guys?"

Nya's voice crackled to life, her words sure and holding the annoyance that came with her impatience. "Nothing but traffic, it's driving me up the wall."

Lloyd almost laughed, but refrained, recalling that he was supposed to be the leader right now, not Nya's little brother with a bad sense of humor.

"Nothing here, Lloyd," Skylor said, her words carrying an easy flow that he had grown accustomed to hearing.

"Nothin' here either, kiddo." Turner added quickly, not wanting to be the last to speak. The man was rather competitive when it came down to it.

"Karloff has nothing- ah!" Static flooded the line for a second, and Lloyd's feet were already in motion when Karlof said, "False alarm, sorry friends."

Lloyd skidded to a stop before he leapt off of the skyscraper he was perched atop, sighing. "Thanks Karloff. Anyone got anything?"

"Hate to break it to you," Tox said, "but I think your lead sucks."

Lloyd pursed his lips, unsure how to respond. He was almost thankful when Neuro's voice drowned out everyone else's. "I am afraid that the target may know we are onto them," Neuro's voice warned, his tone grave and serious. "I can't read too terribly far out, but everyone within twenty-clicks of my position isn't a threat."

Neuro was just outside of reading Lloyd and probably Pixal, who was driving her car down back alleys and checking for any trace of a threat. She was anxious and doing her best to hide it, and Lloyd could understand the feeling entirely. Hell, he felt anxious just thinking about his own father. With a shake of his head, he detached from that thought. The last thing he needed was to be distracted.

Lloyd sighed again, glaring at Borg's tower across from him, the large windows betraying the exact floor where the party was being held. He could almost make out the faces and people inside of the room without his binoculars, and his chest tightened with anxiety. If the assassin succeeded in killing just one person, they would fail. Lloyd refused to let that happen.

It didn't help that no one had checked in from the tower, not even Zane, who had promised to check in every half hour. It had been almost an hour since the last check in. Surely the last of the guests should have been inside of the party, freeing Zane to help them scout around the outside of the tower along with Cole. It was part of their plan, and Lloyd couldn't act on it if Zane wasn't responding.

They were running out of time, and Lloyd couldn't wait around for Zane and Cole, or Jay and Kai. They were busy with something else, no doubt important. Or their comms had been shut off, or glitching. Maybe they didn't work with Cyrus Borg's fancy Internet servers or something. The point was, Lloyd needed a new strategy, and he needed one pretty fast.

"Pix, get Neuro in your ride." He flicked through his holographic map, finding Pixal and Neuro relatively close to one another. "Help him survey the city for our hitman."

"Affirmative, moving now."

"Understood."

"Lloyd?" Nya asked, and Lloyd could almost see her expression. "What are you thinking, talk to us."

Lloyd opened his mouth, only to freeze. Something had moved behind him, and it wasn't the wind. He made no sudden moves, hoping to keep the other being on the roof thinking he had no clue of the other's presence. He slowly reached for the hilt of his sword, flinching into action when he heard something behind him go click ka-chunk.

"Lloyd?"

"What's goin' on, kid?"

"Lloyd, what was that noise!?"

Lloyd turned just in time to make out a dark-clothed figure with a rifle in hand, followed by a bang that made him instinctively reach for his ears and duck. That was not the right choice when one is holding a sword or being shot at apparently, because something made his world rock, pain shooting from somewhere and making everything blur for a second.

Lloyd forced a breath through his gritted teeth, blearily finding the person across from him reloading, a gruff voice shooting curses rather than bullets. At least he hadn't gotten Cryus Borg. Lloyd glimpsed at himself, finding blood on his upper arm. He could handle a flesh wound. Switching sword hands, Lloyd shouted, "Found him!"

///

Kai was still reeling at the sight of the thief, but he managed to find enough of his words to actually speak. "How did you even get invited?"

Ronin shrugged languidly, nabbing one of the pastries off of the table. "'Invited' is a strong word. Let's go with 'got let in'."

Kai opened his mouth, but Ronin continued on. "Helps if you know your forgeries and the guard at the front entrance, along with the intern at the front desk."

Kai knit his brows. "Why'd Zane let you in if your invite was fake?"

"Because I have some info that might keep Borg alive tonight."

Kai shifted the glasses in his hand slightly, boring his eyes into Ronin's form. "I feel like I should ask you to dump your pockets, but if you actually have something helpful, I'd love to hear it."

Ronin swallowed his bite of pastry, nodding. "There's more than one guy gunnin' to put a bullet in Borg's head. It's a group, as far as I know."

Kai stiffened, the situation far worse than it was moments prior. If there was more than one, that changed the entire mission. "Does Zane know?"

The second the words left his lips he knew Ronin already had told Zane, or else he wouldn't have been let up to the top floor. If Zane knew, that would mean the nindroid could alert Lloyd to the growing danger. "Nevermind, if you're up here he knows."

Ronin studied him for a second, making Kai's hackles raise slightly. The older man nodded towards the crowd. "Who's the dame headin' for you?"

Kai shot him a puzzled glance and Ronin sipped at his own glass of champagne. "Just askin', not trying to steal her from you."

When an arm slipped into his own, Kai knew exactly who Ronin had meant. His boyfriend's cheeks were flushed, and there was a smile on his face, but Kai could feel how tense Jay was against him. Jay offered Ronin a darling smile, then Jay's facade of a rich girlfriend disappeared when his blue eyes found Ronin's, his expression slipping into shock. " Ronin?"

Ronin's eyes widened, then he looked between Kai and Jay for a second. "I- Jay? That you?"

Jay nodded, curls bouncing. "Yeah."

"Damn."

Jay snorted, then beamed at the sight of the pastry Kai was still holding. He took it, along with one of the flutes of champagne Kai had in his other hand. "Thanks, also how the hell did you get in?"

Kai answered before Ronin could. "He had info, Zane let him in, there's more than one."

Jay froze, pastry halfway in his mouth. After a second of debate, Jay bit off the bite, his brows knitted together as he mulled the situation over. He swallowed, tilting his head. "How do you know that, Ronin?"

Ronin sighed. "I'm not in on it, before you even ask because I can tell where this is going. I don't do murder."

Kai was acutely aware of the eyes and ears around them, so he chuckled as if Ronin had made a joke, then dropped his voice to a murmur. "Talk later."

Ronin shot him a wink. "You got it."

Jay nodded, smiling politely at Ronin as Kai led them away from the table. Kai opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted before he could even make a sound.

"Oh! Albie, bring your partner over here!"

Jay's head swiveled around, making Kai follow suit, finding a group of well-dressed twenty-something-year olds. The group looked like a few couples who were all friends, beckoning Jay over. Kai let Jay take charge, ducking his head to whisper, "Albie?"

Jay smiled awkwardly. "Fake name," he murmured, but something in his tone indicated it was more than that.

Kai wasn't entirely sure what was said after that, or who was speaking to him. All he could hear was the little wobble in Jay's voice when he had said it. The way he was acting as if nothing was out of place, as if he wasn't a boy pretending to be a girl, falling back into his repertoire of jokes and fronts to hide any of his true feelings from the world.

Kai could feel his temper flaring, but he wasn't upset with Jay. Downing the last of his champagne, he ducked his head to whisper against Jay's ear. "I'll be back in a minute."

Jay smiled at him, and then shoved him off. "Oh, get lost already, you'll be back in like two minutes!"

Kai laughed, but his heart throbbed in pain at how Jay had fallen back into that airy voice, so delicate and so unlike himself that it hurt. Kai made his way to the bathroom in the corner, making sure it was empty before he locked the door. Shoving his sleeve out of the way, he tapped at his comm. "Lloyd? Nya? Anybody?"

"Hey, hot stuff," came Skylor's slightly labored voice. There were shouts in the background, making her voice difficult to hear through the din of battle. "How's the party going?"

"Guess you know about how there's more than one guy now, huh?"

A shriek, followed by Skylor's muffled laughing. "Oh, you bet ."

Kai chewed his lip, then glanced around the bathroom. "Do you need backup?"

"Zane and Cole should be here in a minute, I think you and Jay need to focus on Cyrus Borg. We have no idea how many-"

" Sky !"

A shink of metal, ending with Skylor calling out a thanks. Kai closed his eyes for a second. "Please be safe."

"I'll try."

Kai closed the line, mind whirring with options. It was then he realized that the comm hadn't exactly been quiet. Someone surely would have gone to check if anyone was being murdered. Kai unlocked the door, eyes going wide when he registered the shrieks and shouts of alarm. Kai dashed out of the bathroom, finding the window shattered and people with guns moving through the partygoers, a flash of green darting after them.

The sight alone was alarming, but finding no sight of Cyrus Borg anywhere might have been more so. Kai slammed his fingers against his comm, tapping furiously until he managed to hit the right numbers on the digital keypad. “Ninjago City Police Department, what’s your-”

“Borg’s tower, top floor, armed and dangerous individuals attacking, send help!” Kai didn’t wait around to hear the response, diving head-first into the fire of battle, heart thundering inside of his chest. He hoped Jay was okay.

///

Zane turned to Cole, who had been sitting in the office chair that had been Zane's to begin with, but was offered when Cole had started to fall apart. After admitting the last guest, Zane knew it was crucial to proceed with the next phase of the plan, but he couldn't just ignore what had happened with Cole.

It was difficult to have such a righteous sense of morals, torn between saving Cyrus Borg and saving Cole, both from vastly different things, but both important in their own ways. Zane shot a worried glance at Dareth, who had stayed beside Cole the entire time, helping the earth ninja remain calm while Zane all but speed ran the last invitation background checks.

He still ensured they were done correctly, but still. He had moved fast. Dareth smiled at Zane, nodding towards Cole as he stood up. "I think I'm going to head upstairs, hope you guys work everything out."

Cole mumbled something, no doubt a show of gratitude for what Dareth had done. Zane voiced his own gratitude, taking one of Dareth's hands. "Thank you, you did not have to do that."

"That's the thing, kid." Dareth patted Zane's hand, something in his expression sorrowful. "I really did have to."

Zane watched his friend head for the elevator, then turned his entire focus onto Cole, who hadn't looked at him yet. "Cole?"

Cole hummed, but otherwise was unchanged in his position. Zane pursed his lips, then knelt down before Cole, placing his hands on Cole’s knees, catching his attention. “Darling?”

Cole’s cheeks pinkened slightly, which Zane took as a win considering it was a reaction. “Z?”

Zane nodded, ducking his head a bit to meet Cole’s gaze. “Yes, Cole. It’s me.”

Cole pursed his lips, then shook his head slightly. “Sorry for shutting down, I-” Cole sighed, cutting himself off. “I don’t know what happened.”

Zane didn’t like that answer, so he stood up, feeling Cole’s eyes on him. “What happened was you were treated poorly, and reacted the way anyone would in that situation. It was wrong and rude, and I am happy it did not require a physical fight.”

If Dareth hadn't intervened, Zane would have, and he was pretty sure one of the outcomes involved a version of himself he had tried to bury. He couldn't help but wonder if Borg needed some very realistic ice sculptures in the future.

Cole sounded tired. “But, I just-”

“You got upset, and when you get upset you shut down.” Zane turned to look at his boyfriend again. “It is how you function. You cannot blame yourself for that.”

Cole opened his mouth, but Zane covered it with his hand. “Correction, I will not allow you to blame yourself.”

Cole’s lips moved into a smile against Zane’s hand, his eyes locked onto Zane’s. After a moment, Zane removed his hand from Cole’s lips, only to have Cole reach out and snag his hand. Cole pressed a kiss to his inner wrist, making Zane flush himself. “Thanks, Zane.”

Zane cleared his throat. “Yes, well, we should con-continue with the mission.”

Cole looked much happier, as if making Zane flustered was a mood booster. Perhaps it was. Whatever the case, Zane forced himself to refocus on the current issue at hand. He and Cole would talk more after Cyrus Borg and his guests were all declared safe. Zane was not about to let Cole just shut down the topic and never bring it up again.

It was a nasty habit his boyfriend harbored, and it broke Zane's heart watching Cole continuously shelve his agenda for the sake of others, but never take any time to deal with what he had shelved. Zane suspected it was from how he had been raised, which only served to make him feel sadder anytime he thought about it.

Zane rolled back his sleeve, unable to meet Cole's eyes as he spoke. "We should check in with Lloyd, then follow through-"

A crash shook the building, making Zane stagger into Cole, the pair of them falling against the office chair, which cried in protest at their combined weights being forced upon it. Zane shot a worried glance up at the ceiling. "What do you think that was?"

Cole copied Zane's motion, his eyes flicking upwards before they landed back on Zane. "Probably the guy who wants Borg dead."

Zane bolted to his feet, pausing for a second when he realized where he had been sitting was not the chair. Rather, it had been Cole's lap he had been resting upon. His face felt far too warm, as if his cooling units, along with his elemental power, had left him. He allowed himself a second of flustered shock, then shoved the emotions out of the way.

Zane leapt over the front desk, using spinjitzu mid-jump to change into his gi. When his feet hit the floor, he was fully geared up, Cole landing a second after him, dressed accordingly. Cole flipped open the comm channel, chaos sounding. "Uh- Nya? How's it going?"

A shout followed by a pained grunt was the response, making Cole and Zane share worried glances. While Cole tried to get a response on his end, Zane tapped directly into Pixal's comm. "Pixal? What is happening?"

"Zane! Get to the top floor now. "

Zane flinched at her tone, chest tightening with worry. He tugged Cole's arm, already moving. "Heading up, but-"

"Lloyd's got six or- or seven- they're all armed -"

Her voice slipped out of range, leaving Zane panicked. "Pixal!"

Cole's comm chose that moment to send a voice through, Nya's usually collected voice left in stressful tension. "Get Borg outta there!"

Cole broke into a sprint for the stairs, Zane right beside him. As they flew up the steps, Zane could only hope his brothers could handle the chaos before back-up arrived.

///

Jay ducked when artillery fired, tugging down the people closest to him. "Dammit," he muttered, peeking over the overturned table to try and get a read on positions, only to find a gun in his face, making him yelp. That was the wrong move, the owner of the gun lowering the muzzle, their face hidden by their ski mask. Jay watched the mask move though, and knew the thug was smiling.

Major ew.

Jay did his best to play the panicked rich person, but it was difficult when he could have the guy disarmed in seconds. Kai wouldn't hesitate the way he did, he would have already knocked the guy out and moved to the next lethal target. Kai didn't play a role when he was needed, he didn't sit and wait for the action to come to him.

But Jay wasn't like Kai, he wasn't out to the world. People saw the lightning ninja and said he was a man who could wield lightning, that he was funny and friendly. They didn't know he was trans, they didn't know he hid himself everyday or battled against his reflection continually. Jay wasn't brave enough to even think about coming out to the entire world, and if he disarmed the gunman before him, he would.

So he stayed still, heart beating against his ribs. The thug's eyes drifted to his lips, then the gun was in Jay's face again. "Get up."

Jay swallowed and did as he was told, nervous. His words were failing him, and for once, he couldn't think of anything to say. The gun was pressed under his chin, jerking his head upwards to meet the other person's eyes, which twinkled with mischief. Those eyes then drifted lower and lower, tracing Jay's shape as if he wanted to touch him. The thought made Jay light-headed.

He could almost hear the hearty laughter of pirates, the silky voice of a djinn, the constant hum of The Misfortune's Keep. Jay squeezed his eyes shut, but that just made it worse, phantom sounds shifting into memories that shouldn't exist, but they did and they scared him. Jay forced his eyes open, chest heaving as he tried to gulp down a breath, making himself count anything.

The gun went flying and Jay counted how long it flew. Four seconds. He turned his attention back to the owner of the gun, finding them unconscious on the floor, Kai standing over him. Kai turned to Jay, and Jay burst into tears, unable to stop the flow. Kai hadn't been on the ship, he hadn't been there, he was here. He was real and alive, not a timeline that never existed.

Kai's arms were around him, his voice gentle. "Oh baby, no I'm sorry I wasn't listening. I'm sorry."

Jay realized Kai was responding to his words, which had finally come back to him. He was apologizing, no doubt for being so scared and useless and-

"Jay no, you're so brave, stop."

Jay sniffled against Kai's shoulder, then shoved him back, panicked. "Wh- Cyrus Borg!?"

Kai pressed his lips together just as the stairwell door flew open, Cole and Zane dashing in. Jay suddenly realized that the threat had been neutralized while he had spiraled, Lloyd standing a bit behind Kai. When their eyes met, Lloyd waved. Jay waved back, sniffling. Zane made for Lloyd, immediately asking him questions, while Cole made for him and Kai.

Cole's arms wrapped tightly around him, and it took all of his willpower not to cry again. Cole pulled back, then yanked Kai in for a tight hug too. "You guys are okay, right?"

Kai nodded. "There's a few wounds, but nothing grievous. I got 9-1-1 punched and dialed before I went to bashing heads."

Lloyd then joined the conversation, asking what Jay had a moment ago. "Where's Cyrus Borg?"

Kai looked torn between smug and upset. "Ronin took him out while me and Jay were running survey."

Jay gaped, then snorted wetly. "Sounds like him."

Lloyd looked lost. "Ronin? Why was he here?"

Cole shook his head. "Who cares as long as he helped?"

Zane looked the tiniest bit sheepish, and Jay shot him a smile, knowing that feeling all too well. Zane had let Ronin up, and Jay wasn’t about to snitch on him. It had served to help in the end, and that was what really mattered. Instead, he straightened his dress out a bit, still feeling the phantoms of other hands against his skin, even though it wasn’t real. “Where’s everyone else?”

Nya chose that moment to fly in through the window, landing right beside Lloyd with a flip. She glanced around then took her hood down. “Uh, am I that late?”

Lloyd giggled. “A little bit, yeah, sorry.”

Nya groaned and Kai laughed. Jay found himself grinning too, relieved to be done with the chaos of the evening.

///

Lloyd had never been so done with people in his entire life, which was saying a lot because he despised big crowds all vying for his attention at the same time. This situation wasn't any different though, which only served to heighten his already overly tense mindset. He needed a minute to collapse and regroup, not be thrust into more crowds and answer more questions.

How Gayle had even shown up before the ninja had left was beyond him, but then again, Cyrus Borg's anniversary was a pretty big deal, so maybe she had already planned to cover it on the news. The other newscasters though? They had definitely only shown up because of the disaster that had struck during the party, getting witness reviews along with the police.

Lloyd had hoped to avoid the microphones and the probing questions altogether, but wearing green tended to stand out a bit too much to most people, considering the color was correlated with him now.

"Were you aware of the threat beforehand?"

"Why were these gunmen after Mr. Borg?"

"Were they all captured?"

Lloyd opened his mouth to answer one question, only to be thrown off by another. He was tempted to ask them to take turns, but he was pretty sure his voice would be drowned out by their own questions, their voices loud and demanding his attention. He couldn't give it to them, however, not when his team was tending to the finer details while he played newsfeed.

It didn't help that he couldn't answer half of the questions anyway, since he didn't know the answers. He didn't know why the men were after Borg, other than the hunch of them wanting to throw his company into chaos. He wasn't sure how many were involved to begin with, so he didn't know if they had all been captured. Sure, he was aware of the threat beforehand, but that really didn't mean much.

The questions started to blur together, the voices melding into one annoying hum that made him tempted to flee the scene entirely. But he couldn't do that, he was the green ninja, he was a beacon of hope and everything good in the world.

At least, that's what everyone said.

A gruff voice cut through the din, the police commissioner moving between Lloyd and the reporters. "Alright, you had your fun. Now please stand back ."

Gayle narrowed her eyes. "I am only trying to ensure the people are aware of any danger."

The commissioner didn't look too impressed. "We have taped off Borg's tower for security reasons. You are crossing the boundary. For your safety, stand back."

The reporters grumbled for a moment, but eventually backed up to the sidewalk. The commissioner adjusted his lapels, then turned to Lloyd. "I hope that helps."

Lloyd nodded. "It does, thanks. But I really don't have a lot of answers, and no one will until we interrogate the criminals."

"Exactly." The commissioner adjusted his hat. "News can't have news until the truth is out. I don't know why they try to rush things."

Lloyd shrugged, regretting the motion almost instantly because ow. He forgot he'd been shot at, and maybe even successfully struck with a bullet. He would have to get Zane to look at him later. Speaking of, Lloyd stood on his toes in an attempt to see over the crowd, trying to spot his team anywhere. He found Skylor's burst of red hair, which he decided would be a good start.

"Is everything under control, Commissioner?"

The old man nodded. "If you and your ninja are needed elsewhere, go ahead. We have the gunmen taken into custody, and Cyrus Borg is safe and well."

Lloyd smiled. "I'll have to thank Ronin for that."

The commissioner looked torn between respect and like he had eaten something very sour. "Yes, I should too."

Lloyd offered the commissioner a wave, then made his way through the crowd. He was slowed down by police escorting party guests out of the way, several of the guests breaking away and thanking Lloyd profusely for his efforts. Lloyd did his best to smile and keep going, but there were so many that he started to feel trapped. It felt like every single guest was out to thank him personally.

Lloyd darted his gaze around, realizing he was all but surrounded by thankful guests and disgruntled police officers. His heart was pounding so loudly he was sure they could all hear it, and he knew he must look far too pale because he felt dizzy, like he might pass out. That wouldn't be very green ninja-y. Someone would take a video and post it, and then he'd be a meme forever, a joke.

Just a kid trying to save the world, passing out from… anxiety? Stress? Claustrophobia? He had no clue, actually. Something.

"Hey, hey."

Lloyd blinked when something moved in front of him, a wall of muscle and a sleeveless gi before him.

"Let's not suffocate him, yeah?" Cole said to the crowd, shooing them back a bit.

He took Lloyd's arm (not the injured one) in his hand, leading him away from the crowd, toward the rest of the team, who were all by the police cars. Lloyd let himself breathe a sigh of relief at the sight, the elemental masters and his family all getting along well and congratulating everyone on a job well-done.

"Thanks Cole," he said softly. "I didn't mean to just stand there."

Cole stopped walking, and turned to face him. He offered Lloyd a smile. "We've had a pretty crazy night, stress'll really mess you up. I'm happy I could help."

Lloyd nodded, then kept going toward the police cars. "You all did great."

Toxikita rolled her eyes. "Of course we did, we aren't losers."

Kai snickered. "Yeah."

Zane rushed forward at the same time Nya did, both of them zeroing in on the red coloring his green gi. "What is that?" Zane asked.

"Who's blood is it?" Asked Nya, her eyes searching his face for an answer.

Kai gasped softly, then rushed forward too. Lloyd did his best to hold back a sigh, already tired of the eyes on him. "Guys, yes it's mine, I'm fine."

Cole knit his brows, concern etched onto his features. Jay wasn't any better, his big blue eyes shimmery with worry. The rest of the elemental masters didn't look much better. Pixal was by Nya's side, her green eyes laser focused on his arm, no doubt scanning him for damage or something. Unable to handle the upsetting looks any longer, Lloyd backed up a few steps.

"Let's just call it a night and go home!"

He tried for a happy tone, but it came out strained, anxious sounding. He winced at the sound, trying again. “Look, let’s just go home.”

Nya pursed her lips, looking like she was about to say something when Pixal stepped forward, pointing to the entryway of Borg’s tower. “My father is inside with Ronin, and I would like to ensure he is well before I return to the monastery.”

Lloyd nodded, waving her off. “Go for it. Message if anything goes weird.”

Pixal smiled, then glanced back at Nya for a second, then looked away. Nya sighed, then rubbed Lloyd’s uninjured arm. “I’ll stay with her.”

Kai opened his mouth, then shook his head. “Yeah, go on sis.”

Nya jogged for a second to catch up with Pixal, the pair of them sharing soft smiles before they vanished inside of Borg’s tower. Cole scrubbed a hand through his hair, then turned to the other elemental masters. “Thanks guys. Head home, okay?”

Skylor nodded, shooting Lloyd a smile. “Be safe guys.”

Karloff made certain to hug them all before he left, leaving Jay gasping as he always did. Everyone else simply left with waves or well wishes, heading home after the evening of fighting. Lloyd couldn’t blame them because he felt three seconds away from collapsing entirely. He couldn’t do that though, so he forced himself to stand upright. “Let’s go.”

“Lloyd,” Jay said. “Maybe you should sit for a second?”

Lloyd shook his head, typing into his comm to bring his car over. “I’ll be fine.”

Kai shook his head, snatching Lloyd’s arm. “I’ll come with you then.”

Lloyd sighed, but nodded, too tired to even argue with Kai. He just wanted to be home.

///

Zane sighed softly as he dug through the medical supplies in the monastery, feeling Cole’s anxious hovering more than seeing it. The Earth Elementalist wasn’t even inside of the med bay, yet Zane couldn’t shake his presence. Perhaps his sixth sense was just deeply attuned to his surroundings today. (Pixal would laugh at him and say it was because he liked Cole, quite a bit actually, and Zane would quickly find a way to reroute the conversation. She was far too good at teasing him, and he was starting to wonder if she secretly enjoyed making him flustered.)

“I have brought the tea,” Master Wu intoned, drawing Zane’s attention towards him. He watched as the old master handed his nephew the cup, his expression torn between conflicting emotions.

Zane understood the feelings well, he was very proud of Lloyd, but he had gotten shot and didn’t think he needed to tell anyone about it. He was never exactly not worried about Lloyd, not after everything the poor boy had been through, but he still hated to think too much about the reasons behind Lloyd hiding injuries. He wondered if there was a way he could phrase a conversation that wouldn’t cause the blond to build higher walls.

Lloyd smiled at his uncle, “Thanks.”

“Master, could you go see what we have in the kitchen for a meal?” Zane asked, if only because it had just crossed his mind. “Even if it is something quick and easy we need to eat before bed.”

“Of course,” Master Wu said, patting Lloyd’s knee before he left the med bay.

Zane did his best to appear calm and like he didn’t want to ask any questions that could rock the already rocky state of Lloyd’s mind, but unfortunately, he was glaringly obvious to literally everyone else. That sadly included Lloyd.

“Zane, just spit it out,” Lloyd grumbled, sipping at his tea slowly, cringing after every sip. “I know you’re upset with me.”

“Not with you,” Zane quickly soothed, setting his medical supplies down beside Lloyd, picking up the scissors so he could get to Lloyd’s arm. “Just that you got hurt. I am sorry you got wounded, not mad at you.”

Lloyd arched a brow, looking strikingly like his mother. “Really? I figured you’d be upset that I didn’t mention I was wounded.”

Zane huffed out a half-laugh, half-sigh. “Well, not exactly. I admit to a bit of anger about you trying to brush off your injury, but I expect it from you. You’ve never enjoyed the med bay.”

Lloyd stuck his tongue out teasingly, and Zane laughed as he cut off Lloyd’s sleeve. The younger ninja mourned his gi, watching Zane fold up the ruined sleeve with a sort of detached sadness. “I liked that sleeve, damn it.”

“Hey, no cussing in front of Zane,” Cole said, stepping into the med bay. “He’s sensitive.”

“I am far older than either of you, I have heard much cursing.” Zane set the scissors down, moving back to the medical supplies, gathering the cleaning liquids. “I just choose to use it sparingly, to further showcase my intelligence to others.”

“He just called Kai stupid in like five languages,” Cole stage-whispered to Lloyd, who broke into a fit of giggles.

Zane smiled softly at Cole, silently thanking him for boosting Lloyd’s mood with a well-timed wisecrack. Cole smiled back, returning to heckling Lloyd until the blonde could scarcely bleed. He was so distracted by Cole that he missed Zane cleaning and bandaging his wound, which was better for everyone involved. Lloyd wasn’t a bad patient, but he was…

Zane would say traumatized by his many, many, many runs into the med bay from normally near-fatal injuries. Or comas. The poor guy had been through a lot.

“All done,” Zane said, patting Lloyd’s knee to get his attention. “You can go.”

Lloyd looked mildly confused, then he grinned. “Cool. I’m gonna go call Nya and Pix, make sure everything’s still good.”

Cole waved as Lloyd left, turning to Zane the moment the door was closed. “I wanted to talk to you.”

Zane balked, in the midst of putting the med kit away. “Oh? About what?”

There were certainly many intriguing topics they could discuss, anything pertaining to the evening, or maybe something entirely different as a palate cleanser. To be honest, Zane had no clue what Cole was going to ask. He was unpredictable sometimes, despite his steadiness.

Cole rung his hands together, leaning awkwardly against the examination table. “Uh, I was wondering… Well, maybe hoping, I guess, if you’re cool with it, of course! If you would like to, uh, shit.”

Zane watched as Cole dug himself into a stuttering hole, voice going lower and quieter as he tried to talk to himself. It was cute, in a silly way. “Darling?”

Cole flushed, jaw clicking from the force he shut his mouth. Zane rolled his eyes, putting the kit away so he could take one of Cole’s hands. “I would enjoy snuggling, if that was your suggestion. Perhaps a movie to wind down?”

Cole beamed brightly, and Zane knew he had understood exactly what the Earth Elementalist was asking. “Yeah. That’d be nice.”

The moment was destroyed when Lloyd threw the door open, panting. “Guys! Uncle Wu’s trying to fucking cook .”

( Somewhere nearby, Kai had an aneurysm at the feeling of his baby brother cussing. )

Zane felt faint at the mere thought, and Cole actually shuddered. “Oh hell no, Lloyd stop him!”

Their fearless leader made a pathetic whimpering sound, dashing back down the hall. Cole was right behind him, shouting orders. Zane hadn’t personally eaten any of Master Wu’s cooking, but he knew Cole had lived with him before anyone else had, and the experience was apparently… an adventure , to say the least.

Then Zane recalled Cole’s own culinary skills and fell over laughing, unable to stand any longer. The irony was not lost on him, and that made everything even funnier.

///

Jay stretched, flopping back against his bed with a sigh. It was far too late at night, somewhere between three and four in the morning, but he was over the world. He couldn’t sleep though, which was really annoying. He rolled onto his side, tucking his arms under his head, staring at the wall. He really should be sleeping, but he just couldn’t get his mind turned off.

He grumbled under his breath, sitting back up, resting his hands in his lap. With another sigh, he climbed out of bed, bare feet silent as he walked over to his dresser. If he couldn’t sleep, he might as well just start his day, right? That sounded right to him anyway. Jay tugged out a shirt and pair of sweats, then paused for a second.

Should he wear his binder too? Jay chewed his lip, torn. He didn’t really feel terrible, but he knew he’d circle back to the more traumatic moments from last night, and then he’d really want his binder on. He grabbed it too, heading for the bathroom. Since it was so early, no one else would even be awake yet, unless they were struggling too, so he could have his morning rather peacefully.

He stopped when he spotted Kai leaving his bedroom, the fire ninja running a hand through his messy hair. Kai stopped when he saw Jay, knitting his brows. “Hey, babe?”

Jay jerked his gaze to the floor, clutching his bundle of clothes tight to his chest. “H-hey.”

Kai moved to him, gently ruffling his curls. “You okay?”

Jay shrugged. “Was gonna shower.”

“You feeling bad?”

Now how did he answer that? Sure, he didn’t feel fantastic, but he didn’t feel like trash. Maybe. Ish.

“I don’t know.” He eventually murmured, unable to meet Kai’s gaze.

Kai solved that issue by gently lifting his chin upwards, his soft amber eyes meeting Jay’s blue ones. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Jay blinked quickly, trying to stop the overwhelming feeling of tears. “I- I don’t know?”

“Okay, that’s fine.” Kai pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. “Go shower, I’ll make you something to eat.”

Jay nodded, staying still and rooted in place until Kai was out of the hallway. He sucked in a deep breath, forcing his feet to move forward across the floor. It was only a shower, he could do a shower. Kai was being nice too, offering to make him breakfast when he didn’t even have to, so why did he feel so anxious? It wasn’t like Kai would dump him for being trans, because they already had that conversation ages ago.

Maybe he felt so anxious because of how he had pretended to be a girl last night, dressed and looked the part. At the time, he didn’t feel bad about it, but looking back at it, how could he have been so stupid? He knew how he did with crowds and so many eyes on him, but he still made sure to put on a show for them all, so they’d pay even more attention to him. Had they all known he was faking it the entire time, but they didn’t want to say anything and offend him?

Jay sniffled, swiping at his eyes. They probably had known, and all the whispers behind their hands had been about him. There was no doubt about it. Someone had probably figured out who was too, and posted it online and then there’d be uncomfortable questions about him being trans and then he’d have to confirm or deny the claim and then the world would flame him or- or want him deemed unfit to protect Ninjago or maybe even want him dead-

“Jay, Jay, hey, look at me okay?”

Jay flinched at the sensation of fingers on his arms, jerking backwards and away from the touch. Something slammed into his back, making him drop his clothes on the floor, the world swaying wildly around him. “I- I’m- I didn’t-”

“Jay, it’s okay. You're okay. Can you tell me where you are?”

Jay squeezed his eyes shut. “M-monastery?”

“That’s right, that’s good Jay.”

Jay sucked in a breath, forcing himself to focus on anything. The pressure of someone holding his arms, the pain in his chest as he forced his lungs to breathe, the rough wood against his back and the dull ache in his spine from hitting the wall. There was so much, but not enough, and he could feel his body losing control, falling down into the spirals he tried his best to push away until he couldn’t anymore. He shouldn’t be like this, all shaky and scared, he should be better.

He had saved the world countless times, so why couldn’t his body and brain get with the program and fucking like each other?

“Jay?”

Jay swallowed as best as he could, slowly lifting his gaze from the floor (when had that happened?) to meet pretty amber eyes flooded with warmth. “Hi.”

Kai smiled softly, running his thumb over the swell of Jay’s cheek. “Hey there.” The Fire Elementalist was so gentle, his normally brash and bold actions gone, replaced with a softness that made Jay melt into his touch, sighing quietly. “You need anything?”

Jay nodded against his hand, pushing himself closer to Kai, relishing in his comfort. “You’re good.”

Kai laughed softly, brushing a hand through Jay’s curls. “Alright, we’ll stay put for a minute.”

Jay buried his face in the crook of Kai’s neck, content and for a few minutes, happy right where he was. He wasn’t needed anywhere, he didn’t have to do anything, no one was watching him. It was just him and Kai, and Kai was so warm. Jay loved it, cuddling tighter, enamored by his boyfriend.

He’d be okay.

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