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#i would understand if he had something important he had to do but no
adollrable · 3 days
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Under the same moon.
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✧ summary: where it's your birthday and your boyfriend is on a mission far from home.
✧ cw: female reader x leon kennedy (re4r), fluff, just him being a cutie pie and the boyfiest boyfie ever (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿
✧ wc: 1387
a/n: I'M SCARED, this is my first time writing something COMPLETELY in english so... if something looks kinda silly forgive me 😞 english is not my first language but feel free to give me feedback!
my birthday was two days ago and i kinda want it to write something so, if someone is reading this on their birthday, happy birthday!!! 🤲🏻
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11:45 PM. You were pacing around your apartment. Brushing your teeth, doing your skin care routine, pulling out the softest cotton sheets you have at your disposal.
You looked at the calendar that sat on the nightstand next to your bed, your eyes drifting towards the next day's date. Your birthday.
You weren't that excited, the printed number that indicated your day of birth wasn't marked with a red marker that circled it. The date Leon would return was.
Originally, your boyfriend's absence wouldn't interfere with your birthday. He would be with you on your special day. But you thought back to the call you had with him a few days ago, with him trying to get a signal to tell you that he couldn't make it on time and that he was really sorry.
You understand. It doesn't bother you, but you wish he was by your side now.
His job was complicated, and he explained that he couldn't tell you much from it. As far as you know, he's in Spain, rescuing someone. You don't know who, but it must be someone important.
11:55 PM. Five minutes to midnight. Five minutes until another return to the sun happens for you.
You laid down on your bed, covered by the sheets that hugged your body. You took the pillow that Leon usually uses and wrapped both arms around it, seeking comfort to avoid missing him so much.
Tomorrow would be just another day. Sure, your friends will congratulate you, you will receive calls from your family at extremely early hours of the morning, and you will repeat "thank you, I appreciate it" like a broken recorder for each call and message.
Gifts don't matter, much less a cake, or a party. The only thing you want is for the love of your life to return soon and you can be together.
Rolling between thoughts, you were able to fall asleep.
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12:00 PM. Finally your birthday.
Your cellphone vibrated with every message that one of your friends or your family sent you congratulations. The light from the device breaks into your not-so-deep sleep, since not even ten minutes had passed since you closed your eyes.
Sheet off you, you stopped hugging the pillow and with a soft grunt reached for your phone, checking notifications with squinted eyes.
You lowered the brightness of your cell phone because of that annoying burning in your eyes and now with more comfort, you wandered around the notifications you had, until one caught your attention completely.
Leon ♡: "Happy birthday, baby. I love you so much."
A smile began to form on your face, and without hesitation you unlocked your cell phone to answer him.
Thanks, Lee :( I miss you and I love you
You weren't expecting a response, after all, he must be busy, right? In Spain it must have been your birthday hours ago, but he still bothered to wait for it to come where you are.
Leon ♡: I miss you too, how have you been?
You didn't think he would have time to respond, but you also didn't want to spend three days without hearing from him, so you took advantage of the opportunity.
I've been fine... I haven't done much, just work and back home :( how about you?
Leon ♡: Tired, but all good. Missing you most of all the time. Tell me, have you done anything interesting?
Does missing you count? :[
Leon ♡: Yeah, it counts, sweet thing. I want to tell you something, okay? But let me call you first.
The fact that he was going to call you made you feel good, he may not be with you on your birthday and he is supposed to arrive days later, but one call is enough to lift your spirits.
You were going to answer but your screen lit up with your boyfriend's contact name and the buttons to answer or hang up the call. You pressed the green button and put it on speaker, placing your phone on your chest with a smile. "Hi..."
"Hello, birthday girl." His voice... You could spend hours listening to him speak, even if he was talking about the most boring topic in the world, you would pay attention from start to finish. "How's my baby doing?"
You giggled, there really wasn't much to say, your birthday had started less than an hour ago, "No crazy, exciting party... My friends have congratulated me, as has my family. My parents must be asleep at this time, so I guess when they wake up they'll call me."
"Yeah, they must be resting at this time, huh. You should, too. It's only because of your birthday that you stay up so late." He answered and you could hear his smirk over the phone, making you blush slightly.
"Of course not... I can sleep late whenever I want." And even if you wanted to, you know it's not possible. Once you get home from work and settle into your boyfriend's arms to sleep, you fall deeply into the arms of Morpheus. It's hard not to sleep well when you have a giant boyfriend pillow. "I can't sleep without you here."
"I know, baby, I know... I can't sleep without my sweet girl hugging me like a damn teddy bear." He chuckled and you did it too. Both of you fell into a small silence, it wasn't awkward, it was comforting. "Hey, baby?" He began, as you settled into the sheets.
"Mhm?" You asked, as you looked at the moon through your bedroom window. Her brilliance seeped in and was strong and radiant.
Watching the moon always gave you a certain comfort, knowing that no matter where Leon is, both of you will always be under the same moon and firmament of stars.
A laugh came through the speaker of your cell phone, the same laugh that makes you feel butterflies in your stomach. "Did you see how beautiful the moon is?"
You smiled, humming a small "mhm" in response, before adding, "Yeah... It's full and very pretty. I wish you were here to watch it together."
Leon let out a small sigh, "Yeah, me too, what if you ask the moon for that?" You chuckled this time. It was a silly thing to do, but, why not?
"Like a birthday wish? But if you know it then it won't come true." Leon could hear the pout in your voice, and he smiled to himself. "Maybe there will be an exception this time." He murmured. "Come on, babe. Do it."
With your eyes closed, you let out a sigh, wishing with all your being that Leon could be by your side as soon as possible, and after a few seconds, you heard him speak, "Did you do it?"
"Yeah, I did... Time to wait I guess." Your gaze met that radiant crater that was seen in its maximum splendor, until something began to click in your head.
"Did you see how beautiful the moon is?" There is supposed to be approximately six hours between your location and Spain, so it was impossible for Leon to see the moon shining in its entirety, but you tried not to give too much thought to the matter, since the moon can also be seen during the day, although at lower exposure.
But if he talked about the moon... And how big it looked... That could mean that maybe he...
"The stars look very bright too." He added after.
"But, you know what I think is more bright?" He began, while his footsteps were heard on the cement, signaling that he had begun to walk.
Until he stopped.
"The brightest thing I'm going to see is your face when you look out the window."
That made you get up from your bed, phone in hand while with clumsy steps thanks to the sheets rolled up between your legs, you reached the window and realized everything.
He is here.
And when he saw that look light up on your face, he knew that the moon was nothing compared to how radiant you looked. "Hey, birthday girl."
It seems like the moon was the perfect alibi for Leon to sneak in and surprise you.
Or simply the moon heard your wishes, and fulfilled them on your special day.
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a/n: OKAY... I'M STILL NERVOUS I PUT THIS ON THREE DIFFERENT GRAMMAR CHECKERS BUT I'M STILL AFRAID i suck at writing tbh but this idea was scratching my brain and i thought Hmm why not SO!!! i hope y'all like it :] i appreciate likes and reblogs annnnnd comments i love comments!!! feel free to give me tips to be better at writing or something THAT'S ALL BYE-BYE 🤲🏻
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wolfish-trickster · 3 days
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You made your choice
Gojo x fem!reader
Part 2
Previous part
Word count: 2.4K
Summary: you asked Gojo who is more important to him, you or his bestfriend. He indirectly chose and now he's experiencing consequences of his own action (probably for the first time in his life).
Warnings: bad grammar (possibly), typos, angst, very little comfort
Taglist: @ilovebattinson @catobsessedlady @abcdefghijklmmopqrstuvwxyz @nanao4k
A/N: I recomend listening to this song while reading (was listening to it while coming up with the story, the song and the story aren't exact copies of eachother but the vibe is about the same) and to those who know me THE LINK IS SAFE TO CLICK I DIDN'T LINK IT WITH WHAT YOU THINK I SWEAR. Enjoy the reading 😊
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"Hey, can I come over?"
"Dude, you were just here!"
"I know, I know. But I need a shoulder to cry on."
"Damn, that bad? What happened? You and Y/N had a fight or...?"
"Can I just come over?"
"Yeah, sure. I'll leave the door unlocked."
Geto Suguru has had a lot of weird moments with his best friend, but that phone call certainly was...something. No explanation, no joking around, just straight to the point.
About fifteen minutes later he heard his front door open.
"Satoru, did you learn how to teleport or something? We live an hour away from eachother," Geto joked before he could even turn around and see the state his friend was in. Disheveled hair, dry lips, red eyes. Something terrible must've happened.
"It's Y/N," was all Gojo said before he sat down at the dining table.
"Figured that much," replied Geto and took a seat next to him and waited. He knew Gojo. That man can't shut his mouth to save his own life. He'll spill everything sooner or later.
Gojo let his head fall on top of Geto's and sighed. Geto patted his fluffy white hair and kept on waiting. Good thing was they both sat right across a big window. Geto could count pine cones on the nearby trees while he waited for Gojo to open up.
It didn't take long.
"Y/N left."
"WHAT?!" Geto pushed the white head off of his shoulder and took Gojo by the shoulders. "What happened? What did you do?" He stared him in the eye.
Gojo just blinked. "I don't know! I don't think I did anything wrong," he looked oit the window again. A squirell jumped from one branch to another.
Geto rolled his eyes and turned Gojo's face back to his. "Satoru, people don't just up and leave. You must've done or said something that hurt her feelings. What did I tell you about comunication being-"
"Being the cornerstone of a good relationship, I remember," he put his hands on Geto's cupping his face. "We did talk. And I thought we came to a mutual understanding. Then I offered to cuddle with her and went to shower but once I walked out she was gone. All her things too..."
"Wow," Geto let go of his friend's face, "what a bitch."
"Right?" Gojo agreed and leaned back on his chair so far it was threatening to fall. "I don't understand. She never complained before, never said anything, then all of a sudden she pulls a stunt like that, throws a scene, slips into her selfhating thing again-"
"Wait, she what?" Geto asked confused. He has met you enough times to know you were very cheerful and life-loving person. What was Gojo talking about? Selfhatred?
"She has these moments,"he explained, "thinks she's too fat, then not curvy enough, thinks she's too basic to be with a guy like me, so on. When it happened the first few times i comforted her but even after all those years she still thinks of herself as less than and I'm too damn tired of it. I thought all of those negative thoughts would go away the first time I assured her I love her no matter what," he crossed his arms on his chest and looked out the window again. "I'm starting to feel like she's doing it for attention."
"Listen Satoru, maybe she's just extremely selfconscious and people like her need reassurance like that. Besides if she was really doing that for attention she wouldn't leave withoit a word. She would leave hints for you to find her and come beg her on your knees or something."
Gojo chuckled. "Suguru, you've got to stop watching Shoko's telenovelas."
"I'm a slut for drama."
A phone rang.
In a speed of light Gojo pulled out his phone hoping to see your lovely face. The screen was black.
Geto pulled out his ringing phone and picked up. "Well well, speak of the devil," he smiled.
Gojo couldn't hear what him and Shoko were talking about. He could only take hints from Geto's facial expressions and his occasional answers.
"What do you mean you have to cancel it? Oh. Okay. I understand. And did she tell you what-" his eyes got wide. "But wait, that's not- I didn't- Actually he's right next to me."
Gojo tried to get closer to hear what they were talking about but Geto jumped up and walked across the room.
"Okay. Okay, i'll ask him. No, that's fine. Alright. Take care, both of you. Bye," he hung up. Then slowly turned around to face Gojo now standing opposite him.
"Now you'll tell me exactly what had happened between you two. You said she caused a scene, what was it about?"
His mouth turned into neutral line, just like when you started this whole mess. "She asked me to stop seeing you. Can you believe that? Trust me, if I told her to stop seeing her friends all hell would break lose."
"Isn't that what happened when she asked you?" Geto pointed out the obvious double standard but Gojo wasn't listening.
"Didn't you hear what I just said? She wanted me to spend more time with her. Like, what does she want me to do? Make me and her morph into one being?"
"It is true that you've been spending a lot of time with me," Geto held his chin between his fingers in a thought. "But I don't get one thing. If you being away from her this often was a problem for her then she must've shown signs, not encourage you to come and spend time with me when she was too busy herself."
"About that," Gojo nervously played with his shades. "I might've over-exagarated that."
"Don't tell me..." Geto pinched the bridge of his nose.
"She wasn't always busy when I came here."
"Satoru!" He half shouted. "You always told me she was too busy and couldn't come! Why would you lie?"
"Because i felt trapped!" He yelled back. "I felt like I couldn't even breathe. Yes, being around has brought me so much joy but I missed the thrill of being free. Just being with you and Shoko and doing whatever. Now I just feel like I'm chained to something that I kinda want away from but also not," the entire time he spoke he was pacing back and forth. "I just wanted to feel like the old times."
"So in other words you miss the feeling of being single but you also like the benefits relationship gives you," Geto concluded. "I thought you were better than this."
"And I thought you would understand," Gojo turned his anger against his best friend who was calmly standing in the living room. "But wait, I forgot, you have no one," he mocked.
"Damn right I don't. Which makes me even more pissed off when I see how you treat your own relationship! Have you got any idea how much I envied you for having someone waiting for you at home and welcome you after a long day? Or just someone to be there for you in general?"
Gojo got silent. He didn't know. Geto never showed it.
Geto took it as his chance to try speak some sense into Gojo. "Listen, you only feel like this because you've never been in a relationship. Feeling trapped is normal, I think. What's important is that you love her and you're capable of changing to get her back, right?"
Gojo was just looking at him.
"Right?" Geto said a bit more panicked.
"I don't know!" Gojo exclaimed and Geto facepalmed. "I don't know how to choose between her and you."
"Is that what she asked? For you to choose between her and me?"
Gojo shook his head. "No, I think she just wanted me to spend less time with you."
"So she didn't out right prohibit you from hanging out with me, she only asked for you to stay with her more often," Geto was slowly but surely getting the whole picture.
"Something like that," Gojo shrugged.
Geto sighed. "You royally fucked up Gojo Satoru."
"No, really?" sarcasm dripped from his words. "I still think I did nothing wrong. She has no right to aks me to spend less time with you."
"She does actually. She's your girlfriend of what, three years?"
Gojo nodded.
"Three years and yet you place her beneath a best friend. How would you feel like if she had to choose between her best friend and you and she went for the friend?"
Suddenly, Gojo looked like it finally hit him. "I'd feel...terrible," he sat down on the chair. "But... but I didn't tell her I would choose you. Both of you mean so much to me."
"On the same level or a different one? Satoru, understand that the love for a friend and a love for a lover are two separate kinds of love. You not being able to distinguish between them caused you to be in this mess."
Geto walked over to where Gojo sat and towere over him. He put a reassuring hand on his wide back. "Let me ask you this: what do you want right now? To be with her?"
Gojo stayed silent. He didn' know what he wanted. He hated the fact that he can't have both a friend and a lover. Choosing one would mean losing the other in Gojo's eyes. He can't afford that. Not when both of his most treasured people made him so happy.
Geto took his silence as a no. "You know what I think? You didn't want to have her. You just wanted others to see you have her."
His words cut like a knife. Why? Why do his loved ones have to be this cruel? He only looked up from the floor to his best friends almost black eyes. His own baby blues were watery. A lump took place in his throat. With a horror he realised how weak he feels. One half of him already packed her things and walked away, he can't let the other half do the same.
"Do you hate me now?" He whispered, affraid if he will speak any louder he would cry.
Geto took a while. Then shook his head. "No Satoru, just dissapointed."
Gojo nodded and looked back down to the floor.
Few minutes passed. None of them said anything. After Gojo was completely sure he won't fall apart he spoke up. "Do you think I can fix this?"
"Hmm," Geto hummed and pulled out a chair to sit opposite him. "Fixing means returning to its original state. I don't think things will go back to normal."
"But, I don't want to lose her. I know I don't!"
"Then you must set your priorities straight."
"But-" Gojo looked into Geto's eyes again. "That would mean I will loose you and that's equally as bad."
Geto shook his head. "You won't loose me. I'll still be here. You can still come over and we can still hang out. It just won't be like before."
"And that's what I don't want," Gojo mumbled and crossed his arms again while leaning into the backrest.
"Truthfully, if I had a girlfriend as amazing as Y/N I would spend a lot of time with her and not you."
Gojo swore he could feel his heart crack. "What do you mean?"
"I mean," he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his thighs, "that it's only natural to pick your lover over your friends. Not always, of course, but often enough."
Geto lifted his head to see his friend pale as a ghost, his skintone could now rival with his hair. He immediatelly regreted what he said. "But as I said, even if that was the case, even if you chose her as your top priority, which you should've as a good boyfriend, then it wouldn't mean I would cease to exist. And if I get someone in the future and I do the same you won't cease to exist to me either. You are my best friend, Satoru," he placed a hand on Gojo's shoulder, "and no girl will ever change that."
Gojo's ocean blue eyes let some tears slipped. He realized that his best friend is right, as always. Geto will always be there. And sure, even after he gets busy in his own life and won't have time for Gojo and his antics anymore, that wouldn't mean they would change into strangers to one another.
Gojo quickly wiped his tears and nodded. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "I don't want tk fix this. I want to evolve this. I want her back. I want to learn to love her again. Properly this time."
"You sure about that?"
Gojo nodded.
"Even after she won't forgive you?"
"Why wouldn't she? She's smart. She will understand. Besides, how can you rehect the best man in the world?" He forced out a chuckle.
Geto shook his head. "Arrogant and full of yourself as always."
"Yeah, what can you do..."
Geto's phone buzzed again. But this time nkt from a phone call but a message. Geto took out his phone, gave it a short glance and put it back into his pocket.
"Was it Shoko?"
Geto shook his head. "Just my reminder. Me and Shoko planned to go see a movie."
"Oh, is that what you talked about canceling?"
Geto nodded. "Y/N knocked on her door and asked to stay a few days. From what Shoko told me she was a mess."
Gojo slumped forward on his chair and hid his face in his hands. "I never wanted any of this to happen."
Geto hummed. "Do you know what this is callled? Consequences. Hurts, doesn't it?"
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thebirthofvenusfly · 3 days
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hi i was raised in a home daycare for over 20 years and studied child development and psychology in school for 3 and would like to gush about why i love how bonnie was written and how they're one of the few kids in games i've played that Actually Feel Like a Kid:
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firstly: bonnie's diction
bonnie cursing like a sailor is honestly pretty accurate for a kid aged like 9-14 and i distinctly remember having a huge cursing phase of my own at that age too so LMAO
they ask a lot of questions adjacent to a kids' understanding/confusion of things, social norms, situations, feelings, etc. (the conversation about the actors kissing in that play they saw and how they MUST have had an invisible paper between their lips because nobody would REALLY kiss on stage in front of everybody!)
they can be incredibly blunt but often not with the intention to hurt feelings rather than genuinely acquire information (sometimes with some sass b/c of previous conditioning.) ex. "Our teacher always tells us we have to speak up more... You're an adult so why don't you speak up more?" (Precedent/Conditioning; "Adult in position of power and authority has ingrained it is important to use my voice." -> "Why don't you, an adult who should know better, use yours more then?")
they have a tendency to confidently and casually use words and phrases they don't fully understand or know ("Air-no-no-nomic" -> this especially being something picked up by a fellow kid and just trusted that) (struggling to say, "pomegranate" (very cute watching odile help them with it :,) ) (struggling to say onigiri -> purposely messing this up to get a playful reaction out of dile, a party member they're especially close to, was also very sweet)
it's hard to discuss feelings. they're more likely to use a vessel as a means of connecting to someone else before being able to assign words to everything (offering a peach to siffrin in the classroom because they recognize he's upset without fully understanding why, then waiting for him to address the situation)
secondly: how bonnie handles feelings towards the others and about their Scenario
tendency to hold onto hard, serious, difficult-to-breach subjects and then explode and scream when addressed (ex. Rotten Adults quest)
slightly more partial to physical touch than verbal affirmation (hugs, hugs, hugs! including the little half-hugs they do where they just run into siffrin's side...)
jabbing siffrin in the stomach as a show of example for touching them LMAO???
recounting stories and information that interests them without regard for how socially appropriate it is or why others may react poorly (ex. talking to the party about how nille ran away with them and why she did)
unspoken guilt and trauma causing disconnection from people they love (siffrin's eye situation)
just a few examples and thoughts i liked
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kinardscoffee · 20 hours
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Do you think Tommy is here to stay for a while? How do you think is going to evolve his relationship with Buck? Will we get another kiss next episode?
I would love for him to stay forever!! Love him!!
Hey, Anon! Thanks for stopping by! I love talking about anything related to bucktommy, so you've basically made my day with your ask!
This turned into a long ass post, so I'm putting the rest under the cut.
Yes, I really do think Tommy is here to stay for a while because, honestly, he's the perfect LI to become Buck's endgame.
And I know that that thought is the biggest issue with certain stans right now, but like, he can easily have little storylines weaved throughout the series with the main and guest stars. And, if you actually read the interviews that the actors and Tim are doing, it's clear that's the goal. In fact, I was actually going to make a post for that idea, but I'll just add it here:
Hen, Chim, Bobby
Tommy clearly has a connection to Hen, Chim, and Bobby from his days at the 118. We've seen it in S2, so it's a canon fact. Chim saved his life, so that's a strong fucking bond right there. Not to mention they clearly enjoy quoting movies and probably discussing the plot of movies together. (Thank you, Bobby begins for the bar scene) Tommy was there when Kevin died, too, so he understands the loss that Chim has experienced through the job. And let's not forget that he had the opportunity to watch Chim become an amazing paramedic.
When it comes to Hen, he helped get rid of Captian Gerrard when Hen was being put through hell. (And yes, I do believe he said something to the higher ups. He is a military guy, and following the chain of command is very important to them, so I'm not surprised he never voiced his opinions outloud. Add that with the idea that he was very deep in the closet, he was probably terrified of that man.) And he knows that when it comes to Hen, she will never give up to do what's right and I like to think Tommy took a page from her book and applied that to his life on his journey to accept himself.
Then Bobby. Probably the first man in a leadership position that treated him with kindness and respect. When Bobby comes to the 118, there's some resistance, mostly from Sal, but even through all that, Tommy sees that Bobby is fair (transferring Sal to another station instead of fully firing him) and welcoming (by incorporating family dinners).
Athena
I was struggling with how he'd be connected to Athena, but then I remembered: trivia night!
Athena and Bobby used to have game night with Michael and David. Can you IMAGINE Bobby and Athena inviting Buck and Tommy over for dinner and game night??? I can. And I am so here for it!
Teams would absolutely be: Bobby and Buck. Athena and Tommy.
And let's face it. Athena sees Buck as Bobby's un-adopted son, so if Tommy makes Buck happy, Athena is good.
Karen
This one is interesting and maybe a tiny bit of a stretch, but I really believe that Tommy and Karen could connect through their interest for aviation/aerospace. She's a rocket scientist for crying out loud. He'd be like a little kid at the place where she works.
I also like to think that maybe, due to his childhood and being constantly between homes, he can help discuss the trauma that Mara might feel.
Maddie
I mean, the most important thing to her is that Tommy obviously makes her little brother happy and giddy. She wants to meet him, which is something I can't recall Buck or Maddie ever saying before about one of Buck's LI. Maybe Abby, but Buck was living in her apartment soooo... yeah.
I know Lou has revealed the backstory he has set up in his mind for Tommy and after saying his father was an alcoholic, I can't stop thinking that maybe little Tommy unfortunately experienced abuse from his father or witnessed it happening to his mom. Tommy, having a childhood connected to domestic violence, while not in the exact same way that Maddie experienced it, gives them something in common on a deeper level. An understanding of how important it is to accept love and open yourself up to the possibility.
Eddie
Eddie's friendship with Tommy is actually so interesting to me too because I have this crazy "invisible string" theory that includes him.(Platonically) But, moving on...
Clearly, they share a love of the same things. Muay Thai, watching fights, cars, Buck, basketball, the military.
For me, the military is their real connection because of Eddie's breakdown. No one else in Eddie's life can really understand what he's gone through and how it feels to maybe be the only one of your unit to survive. I'm pretty sure Tommy has already gone through therapy, and since Eddie had no one to reach out to with shared trauma like Frank suggested, he found that second chance in Tommy.
Buck
I mean... they connected lips and soon hearts. 🥺 Sooo....
Next question...
I really hope their relationship evolves in the cutest, sweetest, sometimes naughty, way!
I want to see nervousness. I want to see them learning things about each other. I want them to cuddle and laugh and go on double dates.
I want them to worry about the other one during a dangerous call or rush to each other at a moments notice.
I want to see them fall so in love with each other that I can sue ABC for giving me cavities from all the sweetness.
Having said that... I also want to see disagreements. Arguments and vulnerability and then the process of apologizing and making up.
So, basically, I want them to evolve into a healthy, stable, loving relationship.
And hell yeah! There will be a kiss on Thursday. I'd like to believe we'll see more than one just because of Oliver's interview, but for sure, we're getting one initiated by Buck and honestly I cannot fucking wait!!!!
I want him to stay forever, too. You're not alone 🩵
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stagefoureddiediaz · 5 hours
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ugh this is horrible news tommy is still around, hope to god he's gone in the finale. v
Maybe in your world Nonnie, but not in mine and I'm not entirely sure why you felt the need to come and complain about it on my blog, but here we are!
It makes perfect Narrative sense for Tommy to still be around in the back end of the season, and even possibly into the start of season 8. The show is telling a story of Bucks bisexuality, so why woould they get rid of Tommy so quickly? To do so would do a disservice to that story - a massive disservice. I'm guessing you're hating on this relationship becasue you see it getting in the way of Buddie, rather than viewing it as a vital step on the route to Buddie.
Lets put it into simple terms - Buck figures out he's bi and then begins to explore that newly discovered aspect of himself. The show has also taken the time to move Buck from someone who didn't really do relationships (of the long term variety), into someone who is looking for love and looking for forever. But in amongst all of that, he hasn't really had a healthy long term relationship, the closest he had to that was with Ali and that one didn't last especially long and she wasn't around for most of it
Buck isn't ready for an endgame queer relationship right now - he is still to immature from a relationship perspective - especially a queer relationship perspective. If Eddie was available and he and Buck got together - as they are as characters right now, they wouldn't last - they're not in a position to do so successfully. And this isn't me suggesting that they need to have figured everything out before they get together - to have fully healed etc, because thats neither realistic or something I would want to see - what it means is that they both need to get to a point where they are in a healthy enough place to put in the work together, understand each others flaws, and their own flaws and proactively work towards overcoming those things together and as of right now, neither of them are - they are getting their and moving rapidly in the right direction, but Buck needs to learn a bit more, and in many ways learn how to be with a man, before he will be ready to start anything with Eddie.
The growth we're getting to watch Buck go through right now - in the aftermath of the lightening strike, his reckoning with his mortality etc and the fact he's now off the hamster wheel and moving forward - in a healthy and faster way than we've ever seen from him, speaks volumes.
Tommy is also a far better developed love interest than any other love interest we've seen Buck (or indeed Eddie) with (Abby excepted but she was a main, so had her own purpose on the show)- I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling like I know Tommy more after 3 episodes plus what we got from the begins episodes he was in, than I managed to ascertain about Taylor or Ana or Nataila etc!
Not to mention, him figuring out he's in Love with Eddie as part of this process is going to be fun to watch. The show has made no bones about re-enforcing at every. Single. Opportunity how close, how entwined and how important Buck and Eddie are to one another - the show has quite literally been prioritising that over anything else Buck and Eddie related - Buck was there front and centre - placed very much on an equal footing with Shannon and even Eddie himself in 7x01, and then Eddie was the centre of Bucks bi arc in 7x04 and in his coming out in 7x05. They are literally moving chess pieces into place to tell an amazing story of queer love in later life and creating an epic slow burn for the ages.
And finally, Eddie is, as far as we know at this point in time, still in a relationship with Marisol - why shouldn't Buck get to explore who he is and what he want's within a relationship rather than sitting pining on the sidelines - that isn't healthy in any way shape or form. Eddie still has stuff to figure out about himself.
Even Tim and Oliver have stated in interviews that this is about a happy and joyful queer experience of figuring out bisexuality and therefore within that is giving the narrative a romcom vibe. But they have also stated that Tommy isn't going to be around for that long - that he is very much a narrative device.
It is worth pointing out that timelines on various aspects of the narrative may have been shifted because of the season 8 renewal - but that is only going to help tell the story because now it doesn't have to be rushed. I'm still fully expecting some form of feeling realisation from one of them by the end of the season (my money is on Buck), setting up for season 8 and Buddie going canon either 8a finale or early into 8b.
You have every right to dislike Tommy if thats you jam - have at it, but don't come to my blog and expect me to agree with you. I'm not a multi shipper by any means - I'm a one ship kind of gal and I will be a Buddie shipper until the end of time, but within that, I am here for amazing storytelling and amazing queer storytelling - the like of which I've not had the privilege to watch on my screen before - especially one that hits so close to home. Its a really important story to tell and I'd rather it not be rushed.
And if you had to pick - I'm pretty sure you'd rather have Tommy around for a bit longer that Marisol!!!!
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neoniinu · 1 day
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no one asked, but here is my big speech about shinra/izaya friendship
i wanna start with their school selves
i saw a lot of people saying that izaya was normal at school and shinra just made him "bad", but in my view it's not the thing. like, in shool izaya already wasn't "normal", he just tried his best to pretend to be an ordinary student. he didn't make any close relationship, isolating himself from strong connections with people (just like he's doing it now), but still had to be in the society because of his interest in humas
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vol 9, ch 4
and this interest was already unhealthy, for example, he liked seeing people hurting each other
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vol 9, ch 4
shinra wasn't really different from his current self. he was obsessed with celty and she was the reason he made friends with izaya and he didn't really care about others or anything that surrounds him in general. he stayed in his comfort zone (love to celty) and was alright
as i said, shinra invited izaya to his biology club because celty told him to socialize
then, izaya became interested. because shinra's lifestyle was different and opposite of izaya's, especially because their different opinion on humans: izaya loved them, shinra didn't care but he loved celty who is not human, so izaya was genuinely interested in his personality
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vol 9, ch 4
then shinra was the only person who was a mystery to izaya, he couldn't predict shinra's actions and reactions and he was annoyed and facsinated about that at the same time
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epitome of eighteen stories, ep 15 (translation by xcaneolupusx)
speaking about shinra, he could understand izaya's nature perfectly
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vol 13, ch 11
so, izaya became interested in shinra and finally accepted his invitation to the biology club. everything starts here
izaya started feeling real attachment to shinra. now he was not just an interesting person, he was a friend. izaya felt free with him because they both were weird and shinra accepted izaya with all his strange hobbies and interests. their communication was full of mutual acceptance and they both were happy with it. but izaya's genuine attachment is really strong, as long as shinra preferred keeping distance with everyone except celty. not because he didn't like something about izaya nor he didn't care, it was just comfortable for him like that
the key thing: shinra being stabbed by nakura. i can talk about different aspects of this moment
for shinra it's just another proof of his crazy love for celty — he protected izaya mostly because he thought celty would praise him for such a heroic actions
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vol 9, epilogue
for izaya it was a complex thing. at first, he was shocked by being protected for the first time. at second, he felt jealous and that's what i find a really important thing. he felt jealous because shinra wasn't alone even if he's so uninterested in others. he had someone who he loved, he had someone to love him, he had important connections, basically he had things izaya didn't
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vol 9, epilogue
but despite everything, he still was a friend to izaya, so izaya wanted revenge. so, to my mind, this whole situation not made him who he is now, just gave him the reason to stop trying to conform and show his true self
eventually he promised to make nakura pay for this. shinra just agreed and gave izaya free reign. and izaya really kept his promise. 12 years passed and nakura is still suffering
izaya calls that nakura moment the turning point of his life and the thing that influenced his current self the most
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vol 9, epilogue
i see this part as the starting point for everything happening in the plot, because this was the moment when izaya finally decided what to do
when shinra and izaya finish school, they see each other more rarely. because it's not necessary to meet every day and they both have things to do. shinra happily lives with celty, again, staying in his comfort zone and izaya, who doesn't have any life and friends, is alone with his love for humans and crazy ideas. and still he thinks about shinra as a friend
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vol 9, ch 2
and shinra calls him a friend too
but shinra has priorities and celty is the most important of them, so when izaya calls him from the hospital, he just hangs up
shinra lives in his love and keeps distance with everyone else as always and izaya suffers with his attachment alone, because he can't and doesn't want to get rid of it. but he understands that he's the only one to blame in his state (because he chose such a life for himself) so he isn't angry at shinra. maybe just a bit
there is another important moment, when izaya thinks about shinra being mad at him, feels something like guilt and beats the telephone pole
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vol 9, epilogue
friendship with shinra is the closest relationship izaya has, but again, i can't blame shinra for his uncaring attitude. he treasures izaya and still accepts him and izaya's problems are not something shinra can solve
their relationship can't be seen through the prism of normal friendship because they both are extraordinary people with their own standards
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licorice-lips · 3 days
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Hi, everyone! So, I know there's a lot of controversy about Rhys's behavior Under the Mountain (at least in Brazil fandom it's a hot topic), a discussion that is valid and definitely needs to be had, so I did a lot of research on the subject and compiled the three texts that influenced me the most into a compilation that I'll share here — along with my thoughts and additions.
These texts that serve as my supports were made here on Tumblr and can be found under the following titles, although the third one is the most comprehensive of them all:
*Rhysand's Defense Post (The author had only read A Court of Thorns and Roses when she wrote this).
*The Difference Between Tamlin and Rhysand: The Man on the Throne and the Man in the Arena — Acotar and Acomaf's Excerpt Analysis (The author was following the small teaser quotes for A Court of Mist and Fury and analyzed them).
*Understanding Tamlin and Rhysand — A Post-Acomaf Reconciliation of Rhys's Actions Under The Mountain in a Culture of Defeat.
In addition to discussing Rhys's behavior, however, I'm also going to discuss Tamlin's behavior and compare the two. It's going to be quite fun… Just a heads up that I don't want any hate messages. Do you want to share your thoughts agreeing or disagreeing? That's fine, but with respect. Any offensive comments will be deleted.
Now here's my defense post for Rhys:
Leadership is a heavy burden. When you're a leader, especially when it's not your choice but comes to you because of the family you were born into, for example, responsibility can be a burden. But when you're a leader, there's something very important to consider when making a decision: those who follow you.
All of Rhys's actions as High Lord of the Night Court must be thought of to put the well-being of those he is responsible for first. And when he, Tamlin, and the other High Lords are Under the Mountain, he decides that he will be Amarantha's whore to ensure that his Court is in the best possible condition within the situation — he lets himself be raped to ensure that his people and his family remain safe when he could have done nothing.
But from the moment Feyre strikes the deal with Amarantha, he is the only one who is truly in a position to make a difference: the other High Lords do not have enough of Amarantha's trust for her not to suspect anything if one of them tried to bargain with Feyre as Rhys did, for example. If any other High Lord — Kallias, Thesan, Helion, etc. — tried the same thing as Rhys, Amarantha would have been suspicious.
So in this case, he is the only one who can truly act.
But he doesn't have to. The point is that his Court is reasonably safe because of his role in the court Amarantha built, so Rhys doesn't really need to help Feyre win. But he does it, not because he wants his power back, but because he's the kind of leader who will do everything achievable to change — for what he believes is the best — the lives of his people.
And I'll talk about how admirable that is later on when we're talking about the culture of war and defeat, and about Tamlin's behavior. So, he decides to act, and he tells Feyre in A Court of Mist and Fury:
"I decided at that moment that I would fight. And fight dirty, and kill and torture and manipulate, but fight. If there was any chance of freeing us from Amarantha, it was you." (A Court of Mist and Fury, page 550, Brazilian edition)
He knows, then, that the fight he would have to wage was not the beautiful, heroic, noble thing we're so used to seeing: Rhys knew that his actions to ensure victory — for Feyre and Prythian as a whole — would be horrible and would probably haunt him for the rest of his life. He knows that. And he doesn't excuse himself for a moment. He doesn't invent, he doesn't embellish, he doesn't paint himself as a hero. He knows he's not and he really isn't a hero.
A hero is someone who sacrifices themselves in a grand gesture to save the entire population, a true hero doesn't really sacrifice one person to save others. And while Rhys does have his own share of sacrifices, that doesn't excuse him from the horrible actions he took Under the Mountain:
So, the first part of his questionable behavior in Under the Mountain comes to light: the moment he twists Feyre's injured arm to convince her, to scare her enough to accept his bargain. This is a minor moment and my description alone makes it understandable: he does what he does to keep her alive and charges an insignificant price (which he planned to release her from later, as he himself says) to keep up appearances.
And Rhys needs to keep up appearances because his whole game to defeat Amarantha depends on how he appears to her and to other people: no one can notice while he moves the pieces on the board to bring the advantage to them. No one, not even Feyre, who is the "lamb to the slaughter," so to speak. And she can't know for several reasons:
Feyre is not in a mental condition to act and pretend to hate him as much as he needs her to pretend. So if she knew what he was doing, she would probably let something slip, or wouldn't be convincing enough, because honestly? Who could?
Rhys spent the last 50 years fighting alone and being surrounded by people who constantly despised him for being Amarantha's whore or for those who tried to ingratiate themselves with her through him, so he doesn't trust others easily, even though he was falling in love with Feyre, as he says in ACOMAF.
He couldn't trust that Feyre wouldn't trust others — Lucien and, therefore, Tamlin — with this knowledge. With their mutual hatred, they would surely end up messing things up.
Feyre was there to protect the High Lord who killed his mother and sister — and Rhys didn't know that Feyre didn't know the history behind his and Tamlin's relationship — so, in theory, it made sense that he wouldn't want to show his "true face" to her.
That's exactly what the book is about: like a retelling of Beauty and the Beast, the book is about how appearances deceive. If Feyre found out that Rhys is a decent person right away, it would be the same as throwing the whole intention of the story out the window.
So we have the second — and most controversial of all — point: the dance and the wine. I'm not going to mince words about this: It was sexual harassment. Period. But with this, Rhys manages to:
Get Feyre out of her cell, which is driving her crazy, as she says in this part: "I was alone, locked in silence — although the screams in the dungeon continued day and night. When they became unbearable and I couldn't ignore them, I looked at the eye in my palm." (A Court of Thorns and Roses, page 356, Brazilian Edition). And let's face it, anyone would go crazy in an environment like that.
Keep an eye on Feyre so that no one else could harm her — something he disguises with a comment about not liking others to touch what's his — and that's a curious thing because Feyre never expresses concerns about being abused by others after Rhys starts taking her to these parties (it's also interesting to note that despite the various traumas of what happened Under the Mountain, Feyre never showed any signs of trauma from sexual abuse, as far as I know — and again, not that this excuses Rhys, it's just a factor to point out that maybe she understood his game better than we did).
To leave Tamlin full of anger — which he claims is the main reason for all that theater during A Court of Thorns and Roses — so that he wouldn't hesitate if he had the slightest chance to kill Amarantha in the end or between challenges, no matter as long as he didn't hesitate. Because from Rhys's perspective, Tamlin is the noble golden prince who might spare Amarantha's life to demand some kind of trial or something. Which I consider he might have been dumb enough to do too.
Divert Amarantha's attention, as, thinking that Feyre was already humiliated and abused enough during those nights, she wouldn't give Feyre those ridiculous tasks anymore (like cleaning that filthy hall or collecting lentils from Rhys's fireplace). And if you reread ACOTAR, she really never gives those small tasks to Feyre again after that.
Send a message to those who could read, as Rhys himself says: he crowns Feyre every night, and for the cruel ones, this would be a subtle kind of mockery, but for those who could see beyond the evil, Rhys was declaring Feyre the champion of them all. He declared that he believed in her and in her potential to free them all.
Convince Amarantha that he's still playing on her side — a belief that was shaken by Rhys betting on Feyre in the first task and closing that bargain to heal her arm. This might be the most fundamental of all points: the one that allows the game to continue toward victory. He needs to prove to Amarantha that he's doing it for fun, out of cruelty, considering Feyre as the whore of the whore, someone lower than the lowest of courtesans. Thus, Rhys clears the way to act when the time is right.
By taking Feyre with him to those parties, he moved not one, but six pieces of the game to be in his favor. He killed six birds with one stone. Strategically, it's an incredible tactic, by the way. But morally, this act leaves something to be desired.
So why the wine and the dance? Because Rhysand plays with appearances. Everything in his game depends on it.
Feyre wouldn't play the whore of the whore while conscious, no one with a shred of self-respect would accept that without knowing the reason behind it, and Rhysand, for the reasons I mentioned, wouldn't tell her anything. So he makes her drink the wine to keep the whole purpose of that show and keeps her close to prevent her from being touched by anyone other than him.
But besides that, the wine is a form of escape, a way to forget about the horrors, as Feyre herself says at the end of the chapter where all this happens:
"[…] and I began to long for the moment when Rhysand would hand me the goblet of faerie wine and I could let loose for a few hours." (A Court of Thorns and Roses, page 381).
In fact, Rhys sees it this way: when he is forced to kill the High Lord of the Summer Court (not Tarquin, but his cousin from whom he "inherited" the title, Nostrus), he himself drinks the wine with Feyre — it's an escape from the character he so carefully plays because not even Rhys can bear everything without letting the facade fall, even if only a little.
Note: not that I'm saying this would be a healthy way to deal with all that trauma and accumulated stress, but considering the place they were in and the situation, perhaps it was the most… effective way.
I have to say, however, that all of this doesn't justify what he did: it was still sexual abuse and it's still very bad and very serious. However, I need to point out to you: what we do to survive often does not reflect what we would be in a normal situation (normal being their everyday life without Amarantha, in this case).
When we are confronted with a situation like this, where to survive we end up needing to do something horrible, many say they would never do and would take the noble path of dying before giving up their values and principles, which is great, it proves that you have a very good character. The problem is that Rhys doesn't have the choice to think only of himself and how much this abuse will cost his dignity and principles because every decision he makes affects his people.
So here's my question for you: could you love someone who chose to preserve you instead of saving thousands of innocent — children, women, and men — who are under their responsibility?
Because I couldn't love someone who did that. And that's how I make peace with what Rhys did to Feyre Under the Mountain: I couldn't love someone who condemned the world to save me from abuse that I know I can endure — even if it causes me terrible harm.
Of course, it's entirely valid if you decide not to forgive him for what he did, because, after all, it's a morally gray action when you consider the whole situation they were in and what Rhys did. So, no one is really wrong for not forgiving Rhys for what he did, but those who forgive him aren't wrong either. It's very important that we understand that.
Now, an argument that is often used and that annoys me every time I hear it is that Sarah "changed Rhys and Tamlin's personalities because of shipping", so she ignored everything Rhys did Under the Mountain to make him the hero just because fans liked him. There are so many things wrong with that that I don't even know where to begin, but let's analyze all of Tamlin's, Feyre's, and Rhys's behavior throughout the ACOTAR and ACOMAF stories and show why I know Sarah did absolutely everything with careful consideration:
There is a trait that is very striking in Tamlin from the beginning of the ACOMAF story and is especially explicit when Alis tells the whole story about Amarantha, Tamlin, and the curse, which is the fact that Tamlin can't deal with the consequences of his actions:
The first time he does this is at the beginning of the curse when he gives up sending his soldiers to die for him, thus Tamlin simply gives up not only freeing himself but all of Prythian, all the people who live there, and still condemns the human lands in the process. He only started sending the soldiers out of desperation after 46 years, look at Alis's speech:
"For two years, he sent them, day after day, needing to choose who crossed the wall. When there were only a dozen left, Tamlin was so devastated that he stopped. He canceled everything." (A Court of Thorns and Roses, page 294, Brazilian Edition).
The second time I can point out is Feyre herself (this because I'm ignoring the events during her stay in the Spring Court, as I don't remember what happened): he takes Feyre to Prythian with the intention of making her fall in love with him, but at the first glimpse of direct danger from Amarantha — in this case, the scene where Rhys makes him kneel — he sends her away.
He gives up saving Prythian because he can't stick to the decision to put Feyre in danger so that she could break the curse, so much so that he condemns himself for it, because Feyre only doesn't say that she loves him — and breaks the curse — precisely because she's leaving:
"— I love you. — He said, and stepped back. I should say — should say those words, but they got stuck in my throat because… Because of what he needed to face, because maybe he wouldn't find me again, despite the promise…" (A Court of Thorns and Roses, page 261, Brazilian Edition)
These are the main events, and perhaps I could list more for you if I reread A Court of Thorns and Roses. But what does this show us? That every time Tamlin makes a decision, he freezes and backs down at the first sign of an obstacle. He retreats and avoids anything that shakes him.
So it makes sense that Tamlin's reaction Under the Mountain is paralysis — a common behavior among leaders in times of war and defeat, by the way, which aligns not only with Tamlin's personality but also with the reaction of a true leader in such a situation.
Alright, let's stop there and go back in time to analyze Feyre's behavior:
Right from the start, we learn that, even being the youngest of three sisters, Feyre was the one who, when they were starving, took action and sought a solution, which shows us right away the kind of person Feyre is: she's the kind of person who acts when forced to face danger, whether it's something intangible, like death by starvation, or tangible, like Amarantha.
This is proven repeatedly throughout the books: when she seeks answers with the Suriel, when she tries to fight off the bastards who tried to rape her at Calanmai (because paralysis can also be a reaction to abuse of that kind), when she goes to Under the Mountain to fight for Tamlin without even hesitating, when she heals from the traumas of Under the Mountain as soon as she has something to focus on, something to dedicate herself to.
And this is one of the fundamental differences between Tamlin and Feyre: while he paralyzes, she acts, and whether we like it or not, differences create friction. Especially with what happened Under the Mountain because she and Tamlin were separated, and neither of them experienced trauma together. Paralysis generates a different trauma from the trauma of someone who is acting, so the end of their relationship begins when she goes to save him Under the Mountain — and Tamlin freezes.
Then we have Rhysand, who is exactly like Feyre: he acts when confronted with danger or defeat and has thousands of actions of his that exemplify this:
As soon as he becomes High Lord, he bans the wing clipping of Illyrian females regardless of the reaction of the Illyrian lords or what they thought about it. It's not that he doesn't care: Rhys, unlike Tamlin, is willing to pay the price that comes when a decision is made.
He becomes Amarantha's whore to protect his people from her getting too close to them. He doesn't care about the cost to himself simply because Rhys knows he's doing some good for his own people by letting himself be raped.
When he sees in Feyre the chance to do something to free all of Prythian, he goes all in knowing that that game would be total defeat or victory. He acts.
When Hybern starts threatening Prythian, he is willing to do whatever it takes — lose a potential friend, hand over the city he loved with all his heart to horrible women, give up his own life — so that they wouldn't fall into slavery again.
When the war comes anyway, he faces it head-on and uses every card he has to stop the King of Hybern: monsters of all kinds, all his power, his own life, and the truth about himself, about who he is.
And these are just a few examples. The fundamental difference between Tamlin and Rhys, just like between Tamlin and Feyre, is how they respond to situations and traumas.
Quoting Teddy Roosevelt (btw, this is a direct translation of the Portuguese version of the quote, so it can be different from the original):
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
Feyre and Rhysand are the ones in the arena, they are the ones who fight to be able to act in the face of evil — Amarantha. And it's interesting to note that those who condemn Rhys for the dubious actions he took Under the Mountain never say anything about Feyre committing murder there as well, which is a crime as heinous (or at least should be when it comes to innocent people) as Rhys's.
I'll tell you why: when we're faced with a gray and complex character like Rhys — and we don't know his heart, instead we're "infected" with the main character's partial view — we tend to connect him directly with evil, instead of understanding that this character is neither wholly good nor bad. We forgive soldiers for killing people in a war — that's also a combat in Under the Mountain, so why can't we forgive both Rhys and Feyre?
We forgive Feyre because we know how sorry she is, we know her heart, and we love her. But Rhys? He's the High Lord of the Night Court — which alone triggers some unconscious alerts within us — and he's playing dirty, hiding, and being a horrible person, so why should he be forgiven?
That's what our brain unconsciously thinks sometimes, and it makes us judge some characters more severely. Understanding the duality and complexity of a character is not an easy task; it requires a lot of empathy and an open mind.
But why am I saying this? Because it's important to understand: Rhys and Feyre are extremely similar, and they understand each other at a fundamental level because of that. Tamlin, on the other hand, has a completely different personality. He's the one who freezes, who paralyzes.
Rhys and Feyre experience the trauma Under the Mountain together, so Feyre and Tamlin are separated, which, combined with the glaring difference between the two, makes it difficult — perhaps impossible — for them to heal together because, out of loyalty to the character's nature, Sarah can't make Tamlin talk about what's happening like Feyre needs.
Even after Under the Mountain, Tamlin's instinctive action is to freeze. So he doesn't talk about Feyre's nightmares, he pretends not to see her despair, he turns away from her need to talk about the subject — because looking at her trauma would be the same as acknowledging his own.
And he can't do that because it's part of his nature to freeze. But this isn't healthy, hence the explosions of anger, and hence he locks Feyre up the moment she tries to assert herself: these are the consequences of forcing someone who deals with PTSD by freezing to actually deal with their traumas (that and the fact that he's horrible).
I can understand that (not in his relationship with Feyre, I'm talking more generally here, about him as High Lord, he can rot otherwise) but I can't forgive it like I did with Rhys because, unlike the actions Rhys took, paralysis only allows evil to continue to grow and end up imprisoning us (this is, in fact, one of the reasons why Tamlin didn't try to fight like Rhys while Amarantha was killing Feyre: his lack of previous action left him unable to take action when it was time to "put up or shut up").
While Tamlin's paralysis pushes us down while doing us harm, Rhys's actions, as horrible as they may be, are done in the hope of something good, they're done to move us forward. I can forgive him because I'd rather be someone who does horrible things in the hope of creating something better than be someone who allows evil to continue to grow until it imprisons me.
It's that simple.
And Feyre is exactly that kind of person. She needs to act, she needs to talk about it to heal. She needs to have a purpose, not be coddled like Tamlin — and his trauma — wants her to be.
The relationship between her and Tamlin becomes abusive the moment he tries to stifle her feelings to maintain a state of paralysis. And that's something you'd expect from a character like Tamlin, that's how he was built. But this happens long before Under the Mountain: I remember that on the first day Feyre yields to the dresses Tamlin gave her in ACOTAR, I think it was the morning after Calanmai, she warns herself to be gentle, to be kind, when dealing with Tamlin and Lucien.
But after Under the Mountain, Feyre can no longer accept that her feelings be stifled simply because her traumas are consuming her from the inside out. So she fights back. And that's what completely ends their relationship.
But the point is: both Tamlin, Feyre, and Rhysand follow exactly the line of their personalities throughout the story. They are those kinds of people from start to finish. There's an evolution, of course, but it's an evolution of beliefs, opinions, and perceptions — their essences remain the same.
That's why Sarah is brilliant in these books: by being completely faithful to her characters' personalities, she created a story that discusses abusive relationships, the varied responses of certain types of people to trauma, and the various reactions of leaders in times of war and defeat.
But the point is: none of them were changed to fit a ship, simply because they weren't changed. All three of these characters act exactly the way they should within the limits of their own personalities.
Rhys is the High Lord who plays dirty to create a better world, and Tamlin is a leader who can't make a tough decision. And there's another fundamental difference between them:
While Rhys knows that, from time to time, he'll be forced to make decisions that will end up harming part of his people (and will choose the lesser of two evils), Tamlin still struggles with the enchanted vision of a superhero who saves everyone without exception. And when that doesn't happen — because it's never possible to save everyone no matter what you do — he prefers not to act.
I think the two things that illustrate very well the kind of person Rhys and Tamlin are is the Illyrian tradition of cutting the wings of their females and the Tribute:
Rhys risks a revolt to improve the lives of his people and sticks to that decision, willing to pay the price for it if the result is a better life for the Illyrian females, while Tamlin fails to abolish an extremely unnecessary tax because his inability to act makes him cling to archaic traditions like the Tribute.
So, yes, I forgive Rhys for what he did Under the Mountain, because I couldn't love someone who freezes and leaves me to die. I prefer to love someone who cares so deeply about something — a dream — that they're willing to fight and play dirty for it. And then go to battle to defend it.
Hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to point out points that I didn't comment on; I'll try to respond to everyone's comments!"
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xbabyd0lli3x · 23 hours
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Hi, I have a request for a Spencer Reid fluff. After JJ confesses to him, his partner (preferably they/then) who works at the BAU finds out and is worried he will leave them due to believing they talk too much from friends outside of work telling them they are. If possible, could reader also have ADHD, it's ok if not. You can change anything you don't like or feel comfortable writing.
hi, this has been rotting in my inbox,srry but here
Spencer Reid sat at his desk in the BAU, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts as he went over case files. He felt a tap on his shoulder and looked up to see JJ standing there, a nervous look on her face.
"Spencer, can we talk?" she asked softly.
"Of course, JJ," Spencer replied, his brow furrowing with concern. He followed her to a quieter corner of the bullpen, where she took a deep breath before speaking.
"I need to tell you something," JJ began, her words hesitant. "I... I have feelings for you. More than just friendship."
Spencer's heart skipped a beat at her confession, his mind racing as he processed her words. He had harbored secret feelings for JJ for years, but he never imagined she felt the same way.
"JJ, I... I don't know what to say," Spencer stammered, his thoughts a jumble of emotions.
"I understand if you don't feel the same way," JJ said quickly, her eyes downcast. "I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore."
Spencer reached out and gently lifted her chin, meeting her gaze with his own. "I do feel the same way, JJ," he admitted softly. "I've felt it for a long time."
A smile spread across JJ's face, relief evident in her eyes. "Really?" she asked, her voice tinged with hope.
"Really," Spencer confirmed, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders as he spoke the truth.
As they stood there, lost in the moment, Spencer's partner approached, a concerned look on their face. They had overheard the conversation and couldn't help but feel a pang of insecurity.
"Spencer... JJ..." they began hesitantly, drawing the attention of the couple.
"Hey," Spencer said warmly, reaching out to them. "Come join us."
His partner hesitated for a moment before stepping closer, their expression a mix of apprehension and vulnerability.
"I couldn't help but overhear..." they started, their words trailing off uncertainly.
Spencer squeezed their hand reassuringly. "It's okay. JJ just told me how she feels."
His partner's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh... I see."
Spencer could sense their unease and immediately wanted to alleviate their worries.
"Hey, listen," he said earnestly, looking into their eyes. "I know you have ADHD, right? Sometimes my mind is all over the place, but that doesn't mean I can't focus on what's important. And what's important to me is you."
His partner's tense shoulders relaxed slightly at his words, a small smile tugging at the corners of their lips.
"I know," they replied softly. "It's just... hearing all those comments from our friends about how much I talk, I couldn't help but wonder..."
Spencer gently cupped their face in his hands, his gaze unwavering. "You're not just 'someone' to me," he said earnestly. "You're my partner, my confidant, my rock. And I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world."
Tears welled up in his partner's eyes as they leaned into his touch, feeling a rush of love and reassurance wash over them.
"Thank you, Spencer," they whispered, their voice filled with emotion.
Spencer smiled tenderly, pulling them into a warm embrace. In that moment, surrounded by the bustling activity of the BAU, they knew that no matter what challenges they faced, they would always have each other.
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xbomboi · 3 days
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misc. bribelle thoughts
prefacing this by saying bribelle is my favorite ship. actually might be one of my favorite all time ships considering whenever i catch 11:11 i make a tweet on my priv twitter saying “11:11 bribelle and rarijack” because i’m insane.
anywho…
i think it’s a lot easier to justify saying faybelle potentially has feelings for briar in a canon context because even aside from her diary, her behavior in epic winter can most definitely be read with flirtatious undertones, especially after witnessing the dream sequence
but i’m always trying to justify things to myself in accordance to canon without feeling ooc, because i’m the type of creative who would rather write my own original thing than make alterations to a pre-existing work. that’s just me.
and briar is trickier to do so with. in the show alone, she only actually verbally responds to faybelle once and it’s a line that also adds exposition. “but it’s forbidden!” girl come on throw faybelle a bone at least…
by epic winter, i’d say briar could potentially have had surface level attraction to faybelle, but it isn’t until having that dream and probably especially post-epic winter when she’d get time to actually reflect on it that she’d start to develop palpable feelings for her.
i’ve kinda noticed something about briar: she likes attention. i guess she’s kinda like faybelle in that respect.
briar grew up with neglectful parents. fill in the blanks. why wouldn’t she want attention when she lacks it properly from the two most important people in her life?
along this line of thinking, briar especially values explicit displays of affection, particularly from a potential romantic partner.
so, regrettably, let’s look at her relationship with hopper.
i.e. briar’s behavior in the webisode “Here Comes Cupid.”
when she first confronts hopper about his unconventional advances, she’s disinterested and borderline repulsed.
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but after hearing him profess his love via the recording, she’s taken aback and actually grows endeared.
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until this BAFOON fumbles the bag and does some really creepy shit by leaning into her personal space and calling her hot. understandably, this miffs briar and she once again loses interest.
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(side note, too many people ignore how blatantly creepy hopper is to women, ESPECIALLY briar. he needs to be held accountable, not rewarded by getting the girl.)
even then, despite not necessarily returning his affections, she’s somewhat comfortable in the status quo that he devotes his attention to her. which is exactly why i think in bunny’s diary (bunny is wrong btw she doesn’t know a damn thing so idk why the one wiki that’s not the official wiki list hopper as briars crush when the source is bunny’s word like fuck all) bunny mentions observing briar appearing disappointed when ginger asks hopper to the dance and he accepts.
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to briar, it’s like she’s losing one of the few things she’s familiar with, the few constants in her life. in this case, her only plausible option who she’d have reason to believe would accept. and we all know how briar is about losing things.
briar sorta settles into this state of fondness towards hopper’s affections, despite them being unrequited. because at least he gives a damn about her.
faybelle—at least, outside of her diary and up until epic winter—might as well be any villain; faybelle just wants to cause chaos for the sake of ruining somebody’s day. and i don’t think briar likes it that way.
i’d assume around the time of faybelle’s introduction to the series, briar’s stance would be one of upset towards faybelle, believing she doesn’t take their story as seriously as she(briar) does. that her role in sleeping beauty isn’t as important to her as being evil in general.
i have half the mind to say that this could potentially be read from briar’s behavior in faybelle’s diary.
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first off, that underlining wasn’t added; the underlines are in the official print. meaning briar is putting emphasis on those words specifically. sure it’s a lesson to faybelle about not being an asshole, but also it reflects on briar in a way. like it could be her saying, “you’re supposed to be my villain, but you act like i’m no different to you than anyone else.”
now, this next part is obviously a surface-level gag about faybelle making a malicious act seem so thrilling, but if we close our eyes and pretend that we’re in a different world called I.D.G.A.F. dimension, we can now analyze this in a different light.
briar’s confused by faybelle’s verbal expression of almost-affection. it doesn’t help that she’s most definitely barely awake. but i’m willing to say her confusion is partially born out of actually having heard faybelle say such a thing. it’s gotta be surprising and hard to believe in that moment, because briar has every reason to think otherwise.
in the show, like i said, faybelle just does whatever the fuck. open a sweat shop? sure why not. assist her peer’s mom in attempting to turn the entire world into her own dictatorship? count her in. make a deal with the mafia? just a regular tuesday. but god forbid she focus on being the one to make the sleeping happen in sleeping beauty.
i think that irks briar. or at least make her generally act indifferent when faybelle comes waltzing around to do god knows what; if she won’t care, why should briar, right?
then there’s epic winter. or, as i like to call it in bribelle terms, “they finally fucking interacted”
when briar explains faybelle’s inclusion of herself to crystal, she simply says it’s her thing and cites the sleeping beauty story. like “hey crystal this is my villain btw, trust.”
later when briar’s yapping about the story, some may say it’s counterproductive in relation to briar’s arc that ashlynn brings up the miserable part of it only for briar to talk fondly of it, but i know briar personally, and have been filled in as to what the truth is.
briar dropped that attitude because faybelle was there. she started talking up the story, almost as a cue to faybelle, like “hey remember how you’re like a big part of my life’s purpose???”
faybelle butts in about it. and briar doesn’t get the chance to respond, but i think she was almost expecting faybelle NOT to gaf, so her doing so threw her off just a little. maybe she expected to hear something like “who cares?” instead.
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then of course when they get to the castle briar’s little act is dropped and her deep fear of the sleeping beauty destiny is once again present. and of fucking COURSE that’s when faybelle decides to CARE ABOUT THEIR STORY.
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listen to me, LISTEN. briar looks at faybelle BEFORE faybelle actually says “no, there’s another room far more important to our story. isn’t there, briar?” she looks at her BEFORE she actually talks. she was looking to see if she’d react, then when faybelle does speak she looks away, then she bumps her to get her attention so briar has to fight the adhd and lock in.
and faybelle just keeps instigating which honestly kinda takes briar out of her typical sulking over her destiny mood and more of like ‘what is your game here exactly’ mindset.
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there’s so much to that look briar gives her. so many emotions in there.
after this they go up and faybelle taunts some more only for briar to almost actually prick her finger yada yada. and like i said, it’s a lot easier to understand faybelle’s pov. it’s very clear she doesn’t actually wanna go through with cursing briar, teasing and all. she makes as much obvious by her reaction alone when briar gets too close.
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but once briar’s fine she’s like ‘yeah, okay, back to normal,’ meanwhile briar is kinda just done because faybelle is acting a fool. but she never shoves faybelle off of her unlike she did when hopper intruded on her boundaries huh briar why is that what’s that about briar still, briar has yet to have any indication from faybelle about how she actually feels in regards to their story and her role in it. or how it pertains to their relationship with each other. rather, faybelle doesn’t take it seriously much to briar’s chagrin.
then the dream sequence happens.
to me, this is the turning point.
it’s a stupid music video for an insert song, but goddamnit it confirmed darabella and even hunter got to be there with ashlynn so i’ll die standing on business.
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this is what briar’s been waiting for from faybelle. that frenemy status is something i think briar wants to figure out which one to see faybelle as, depending on how she really wants to proceed with the story. and i’d say faybelle surprises her; hell, she even shows her a side of her rarely seen.
like with hopper, an outward display of affection such as this is something briar is drawn to. faybelle’s display towards briar in the dream sequence is something briar would be endeared by, as she goes out of her way to prevent her from experiencing the very thing she’s been dreading for so long. that’s gotta fit briar’s love language.
side note, i think it’s very very interesting to note that faybelle is the one to swoop in and save briar in this case, without any other characters present to show a significance in the ending of the story. i say this because hunter gets to be in ashlynn’s sequence and the bears are in blondie’s, despite none of them being in the tower asleep. all this is to say, if briar really did have feelings for hopper or really was gonna end up with him or some guy, they’d be there, right? but nope, just faybelle. I Understand.
after that we don’t really see them interact at all again, but there’s the general disdain for faybelle’s actions as a shared sentiment amongst the others. either way, by the end she shows remorse and seemingly ends on good terms with everyone, meaning i don’t see why briar wouldn’t be left thinking about the dream, seeing her in a whole new light. honestly briar would probably be kinda intrigued by the idea of the bad girl having a soft side for her. briar and i actually spoke about this the other day.
either way, this is briar learning that despite the general ignorance faybelle portrayed, she actually does care about her.
faybelle demonstrating, proving to briar that she is capable of showing affection and actually does care for her is what i think is enough for briar to begin to start falling. (which is kinda reflected in how i approached their relationship in fable fest.)
because briar knows there might actually be something there.
or maybe it’s a kid’s cartoon and one girl mean other one nice, idk.
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mrsparrasblog · 3 hours
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The selection pt.1
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Unable to feel emotions, a deadly weapon, unable to empathize with the enemy, a calculated killer. It was as if you were listening to a presentation about yourself. So this was your new place now, musty, dirty, and you needed to work with men. Unbelievable. You were so much better alone, so why send you with a team? But order is order.
Your new boss was like every other boss you had in the past fourteen years: white, old, and unable to protect himself. He relied on you, didn’t trust his allies, closest friends, and sometimes not even himself. But it was easy to trust a mindless creation, someone who shouldn’t be able to feel or think—at least that's what he says. Did he really think you hadn’t got a voice in your head? You had it—it wasn’t always there, but it was sometimes. You weren’t dumb.
"Welcome to the Team," Price said, extending his hand to you. Shepard introduced you to him and his team of barbaric monkeys. You didn’t bother to shake his hand; you hated fake niceties. Was he your boss too? You hoped not. There were already enough useless men in charge of you.
"Shake your superior's hand," he grunted out, not amused by your behavior. Superior—only more men in power. How usual. You ignored him, only rolling your eyes and looking at Shepard, your real boss. If he said shake this man's hand, you do; if not, you don’t.
"John, she doesn’t work with ranks," Shepard tried to explain. I’m an assassin, not a soldier, you thought. Soldiers weren’t something you were particularly fond of, nor were your teachers. Well, if you don’t count him, but that’s not important right now anyway.
"Well, bad for her. I don’t need someone on my team who can't show me a tad of respect," he snorted, glaring at you like he wanted to kill you—sweet, you thought, how naive he was. He really didn’t know what you were capable of.
"There is no discussion. She is on the team as long as I need her, understood?"
"Understood, General."
The boss left, telling you to try to listen to John but always listen to him first. Reasonable. You’d heard weirder requests.
"So, we're stuck with her now," the boy called Gaz, what a stupid name, asked.
"Yes."
"At least you aren’t hard on the eyes, lass," Soap joked. The man with the stupid name and the worst haircut chuckled while his hand touched your shoulder in an attempt to tease you and soften the tension between you and the new team.
By instinct, your hand grabbed his, putting it in a position where it would be so easy to break his hand. "Прикоснись ко мне снова, и я убью тебя!" you hissed, and the men only looked stupidly at you.
"Ah, she just doesn’t understand English, poor lass."
"I understand English perfectly fine. I said if you touch me again, I’m going to kill you!" The monotonous look in your eyes sent shivers down Soap's spine. He knew you weren’t playing; crazy, that’s what you were to him, and you didn’t mind, as long as he didn’t touch you again.
"Okay, why don’t we all calm down?"
"Great, Cap."
"Tell us your callsign or something about you," the older man said, and you asked yourself what would happen if you just stood up and left. But the mission was more important than your ego or annoyance for all of them. Well, except the ridiculous masked man; at least he knew how to keep his mouth shut.
"Love, 19," was all you said. The truth was, you didn’t remember your name anymore. It was all gone, buried deep between all the sessions you needed to endure until the final selection. You knew that you were called 0694 most of your life, until the accident which made them call you Love.
"You don’t seem like someone with the callsign 'Love,' more like Medusa."
"Gaz, stop!" the old man scolded. You could see the wrinkles on his face. He was at least 40, you thought. Was he more like Shepard, or Durinov? Well, he wasn’t a good guy, that's what you knew about him. But who is a good guy after all?
"Okay, Love, the Lieutenant will show you your room."
"Хорошо" You bark at him, getting ready to follow the Ghost masked guy to your new room.
"Speak English, Love."
"Fine, Captain," you scoffed at him. You were sure you wouldn’t like it here. Why couldn’t a better boss get you someone who just gave you orders? You were good at following orders: Kill him—done, torture him—done, make him pay—easy. Just this American sitcom family situation was too nauseating for you. Your thoughts went away to the prospect of skinning some of them alive, but not allowed.
You walked with Ghost to your new place. He was taller than you and bulkier, but that didn’t mean he was stronger. You fought a lot against guys like him—brutes—and they always lost. Strength isn’t enough without a brain, but he seemed smarter than the other ones; he didn’t talk, and you could appreciate that.
"This is it," he gestured to a single room with white walls and a twin-sized bed in the middle. It was one of the better places you’d slept in, if you forget Budapest, Moscow, and Prague. Stupid girl, you thought to yourself. Don’t dwell on your memories; they're gone, gone, gone.
"Okay."
"You don’t talk much," he observed.
You only nodded firmly, not bothering to use your lips to form words.
"Good," he said before walking away.
You threw your bag into the corner. You didn’t have much besides your uniform, weapons, and that washed-out picture of him, which you should have thrown out a long time ago. But it's like a warning for you, you thought. Maybe it was indeed sentiment, which you wouldn’t admit—not after that day.
In search of the training room, you walked past the meeting room where the men still sat as if time stood still.
"Shouldn’t the TF 141 have just four of us, Cap?" the man with the cap asked. If you remembered right, he was called Gaz or something like that.
"Shepard only approved of this task force if she would join, so it's off the table."
"She is crazy," Mohawk guy stated.
"Maybe so, but she's great in the field."
"How do you know, Ghost?"
"Met her in Lisbon four years ago, but as an enemy."
"Four years ago, she was 15."
"Indeed."
"This can't be true."
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Lisbon, March 2018
The storm howled through the gloomy streets of Lisbon. It was one of your first solo missions: just kill the target and finish. Nothing special, but lying on the rooftop with your sniper gun was more uncomfortable than you had originally imagined. Of course, you were used to discomfort, but the missions were always your safe space. Sleeping outside was easy—safer than there.
But now you were soaked through to your underwear, and the damn target was taking his sweet time. You were trained to lie here on the rooftop for several days, and you won't mess up your first mission; it all factors into the evaluation. And you already messed up that hard. You needed to improve before the grand selection.
Footsteps echoed behind you. You had the choice to turn around and fight off the intruder or to keep focusing on your mission. If he caught you turning around, you would fail, and you really didn’t need this. You decided to foolishly turn around, aiming your gun at him. He was tall, bulky, with blonde hair and several scars on his face—a soldier. Probably, your survival rate was around 75%.
Of course, he pointed his gun at you too, making this even more annoying than it already was. “Who are you, and what are you doing here?” He had a British accent, probably SAS, judging by his uniform.
“I’m a NATO soldier just keeping watch. No one shoots the governor,” you tried hard to speak with an American accent, maybe he was a brute and not a brain. The uniform you wore didn’t have any flags, atypical for NATO.
“Don’t bullshit me, tell me the truth before I put a hole through your head,” he barked at you, at least only half an idiot, you guessed.
“Bold of you to assume that I won’t put a hole through your head first.”
“As if you were able, little girl.” Before you could form a cocky remark, you already had a bullet in your shoulder. He thought you would leave your position because of the bullet, but you stayed put; you needed to finish the mission. He hunched over to you, turning you around while drawing his knife out.
“Блядь, неужели ты не можешь просто позволить мне быть,” you cursed under your breath, drawing your knife too, standing up without a hint of pain in your eyes, making him wonder how this was possible.
“NATO, huh?”
He tried to bring you down with his pure brute strength, but as always, he forgot that strength isn’t everything. “You shouldn’t have such a bad stance,” you smirked before he could defend his technique; you already put a knife inside his hip.
The big, incapable soldier winced on the ground as if a knife wound hurt that bad. Before he could reach for something, you were already on your way to your rope, grabbing it to jump from the rooftop.
“By the way, never disturb my work again, сука,” and with that, you shot him in the shoulder, eye for an eye, and jumped from the rooftop.
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"That's how the governor died?" Price asked, and Ghost only nodded. It wasn't one of his proudest moments; he would have won if he hadn’t been so unfocused. Since then, his missions were always about constant focus and never underestimating an enemy.
“She is a terrorist, we don’t work with terrorists,”
“Have fun fighting me, you lose, short man—all of you will lose,” you said, showing yourself from the corner where you had been hiding. They needed to tolerate you for their silly little task force.
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shoshiwrites · 2 days
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Hi! I’m the anon that requested the handholding prompt, and I just wanted to say thank you. It was everything I could have hoped for and more!! It made me smile!!
If you are still taking requests, I would request Jo/Egan with the prompt touching foreheads or bandaging/stitching an injury. As you can see, I couldn’t decide between one prompt, once again. I look forward to whatever you write and of course, never feel pressured to write anything. I hope you are doing well 🫶🏼
Hello anon! Thank you so much for your lovely message. I'm so glad you liked that prompt, and I appreciate your understanding very much. I've kept "bandaging/stitching an injury" on my list, and filled this one for "touching foreheads." This is my first try at Bucky POV, and we kind of ended up on the depression-nap side of things (see my terrible header below). Thank you to @mercurygray for helping me work the end. Bucky Egan x War correspondent OC.
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Six months. 
And he’s felt every minute of every one, or at least it seems that way on days like this. Gray as all hell, like a storm gathering over the lake. Every minute if you didn’t count the gaps, the headaches, the days he sleeps away, the things he couldn’t remember those first few weeks. His jaw still wakes him in the night, dull if he’s lucky, a screaming pain if he’s not. He can never forget the things he’d actually want to forget, can he? Now that would be too easy.
Never coughed up an explanation for Buck either, even when Buck looked at him sideways about something or the other. Even if he wanted to, his throat goes dry at the thought, like the dust and dirt along the floorboards.
Holding onto it gives him something to hold onto, at least. The anger. 
Six months of this damn nightmare, the bloodshot bone-chilled day and night. Different nightmare than the sky. He has those too. This is the kind of dream where you’re stuck in it, you can’t move, there’s footsteps outside the door. He’d had those as a kid. Terrified him. 
It’s sure not the the kind they nail up pictures for, paper edges catching on the unfinished timber, hoping to summon some kind of vision. He’s so tired he’s practically drooling into the pillow, letting his eyes wander far enough along the wall that it hurts, over Rita and Ginger and Ava’s shining faces. 
There are pictures kept in books too, pouches and the occasional wallet, those all but sewn into jacket pockets. Girls back home.
Not even a letter. Not one goddamn letter, he thinks, the sigh of it harder than seems fair to his mother or his sisters, trying to get around the mail delays and sending cards for every holiday they could think of. What the hell even was Arbor Day, anyway?
(“Trees,” Brady had said, not looking up from the keys of his saxophone.
“...right.”)
He thinks about Texas, and Florida, and Idaho, and Nebraska. Girls and dresses and perfume, manicured hands, no dirt around them. Marge’s friend, he can’t remember her name, pretty, dark hair, disinterested in a kiss but amenable to dancing. They’d all wanted to forget, right? Not when you’re flying out the next day. 
He thinks of Lil, the cupid’s bow of her lip and the goosebumps under her sweater. She’d wanted to forget too. A brother somewhere in…he can’t remember now. Burma? Her grandfather hadn’t had too many nice words for him, John. Not that he could blame the man.
He thinks of Jo. Crouched over that little green typewriter the way Brady fiddles with his sax, the sound of the bell, the sound of the keys. Like Buck over the radio. The way she looked up at him, like she’d just realized something important. The way she smelled when she let him get close enough, like flowers after a spring rain. 
The air’s sour in here, and cold. Showering helps, besides freezing your damn balls off. 
He lets himself think it, about his head in her lap in the grass, or on a sofa, or anywhere, really, where she’s leaning down and she’s touching him, the little calluses on her hands, and her forehead close to his.
It hurts too much, and maybe he can admit it, here in this damn coffin of a bunk, mattress about as comfortable as one, that maybe she’d wanted to forget too.
You don’t kiss like that, he thinks, with acid in his throat, when you care what comes next.
She writes like she cares, though. She writes like she believes in all of them, like it’s real and not just what her paper wants or somebody wants to hear. 
Maybe he can admit that now, if he doesn’t think about the note she’d left.
He’d rather think about anything else, hell, he’d rather walk outside with no shoes on, listen to the Yankees lose by a single run.
He’d rather wish this damn pillow was a different kind, her thigh or her body or her forehead, even, pressed against his. Not that he’d admit it out loud. 
And her mouth right there, he thinks, like he can just make that half-second trip to kiss her, and kiss her again.
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Okay I don’t want this to be like an obnoxious millennial assumption because I’m positive that every generation has things like this, but the way autism and ADHD was treated for us in the 90’s and how it affects adult diagnoses is like, imo, so integral to our coming of age and the stories we tell and the way we’ve gotten to know ourselves, even the way it relates to our job market and economy and how we operate inside it, and especially the way a pandemic uncovered it for so many people and exposed the cracks and revealed that we were all just barely functioning and held together with popsicle sticks and anyway
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I say that because maybe it’s the un-diagnosed 90’s child in me but I feel particularly emotional about Keith’s arc in learning that he’s part Galra, and the way even the creators said they made him sort of prickly because of his biology, and I just !! Think so much about Keith’s neurotype as a part Galra!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cause something about being diagnosed later in life is like, looking back at all the other ways you tried to handle yourself, all the missteps, maybe even misdiagnoses. Like, how many times did you try to treat ANXIETY without realizing you didn’t have an anxiety disorder, you just can’t deal with your family blaring the TV from the next room? How many times were you told you were lazy, or lying, when you didn’t know what executive dysfunction is? 
Keith is such a lovely rich character because his prickliness is EARNED—we know what happened to him, we know he’s traumatized, we know he’s been treated poorly by many people in his life. We know that he grew up thinking that he’d been abandoned by one of the people who should’ve loved him the most, in the whole world. He even questions that in his vlog—he makes the connection that he has trouble with people because of his mom. 
But I just wonder like, how much of it is just his biology. Not understanding the body he’s in, being completely ignorant of one whole half of his culture. Had he ever mutated before the TBP fight? Did it take him by surprise, did it frighten him? ((* This is head canon territory LMAO there’s no way to really know—like, is he able to do this because he just spent so much time with Krolia, or does Shiro going That’s the Keith I remember mean they used to have really primal sex that turned his eyes yellow? Lol)) 
Like when we talk about even the most broad generic terms of saying someone is neurodivergent, we don't even need to put a real life label on Keith. Like he's literally not human! Of course his brain looks different! Of course he functions differently! And I wonder how much is nature v nurture -- if he knew the truth about his mom, if his dad had lived, if he'd been allowed a normal childhood, would he still have been a weird kid?
Cause like, even seeing the way Shiro is able to get through to him, we see ways that he allowed for thrill seeking, and he didn't judge Keith for stealing his car. It reminds me of like, what we know now about asking children to sit still in school, and how perhaps some children would do better with standing desks. Shiro wants him to behave and succeed, and doesn't judge him for being a car thief, and gets through to him by bringing him cliff diving. And it just feels like this clue, you know, that nothing is wrong with Keith, he's just living in a weird place where people don't get him.
It’s just really special to me, because there’s so many pieces in the sequence of events of Keith’s character arc, and I know I’ve said this a handful of times now, but I really sincerely believe it’s the only thing the show really nailed. Accepting himself during the BOM Trial -> MOMENTS later learning something ver important about his biology -> spending time with Krolia -> coming back to pilot Black when he’s READY and WANTS to (unlike the first time, when he resisted) -> becoming a pragmatic strong leader by the end.
Gosh idk. 
I don’t really have anywhere to go with this, it’s just something I was thinking about today and it gets me real emotional. Like, Keith must have had these moments, re-evaluating who he’d been before he’d known, finally understanding why he was Like That, and it’s so healing to imagine him accepting his past self and forgiving it because he understands now. 
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john-macnamara · 1 day
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It took us a little while to find the file for this, but we wanted to successfully wrap up PEIP's infamous portal incident. As you know, the Paranormal, Extraterrestrial, and Interdimensional Phenomena division of the United States' Military interrogated one Johnathan S. MacNamara after the incident. He was twenty-four at the time. We thought it would be beneficial to share this portion of the story. Give all you loyal followers the full picture.
cws: implied torture, degradation, drugging, implied sexual assault
Interrogation Records: Major Johnathan S. MacNamara; Feburary 15, 2006.
Interviewer: Lt. Gen Joseph N. Brown (JB)
Interviewee: Maj. Johnathan S. MacNamara (JM)
Purpose: Prove connection to ex-Colonel Wilbur R. Cross, now under alias Uncle Wiley
At 2:38 AM, MacNamara was forcibly removed from his bed and taken to interrogation room C. He was confined with handcuffs in case of an escape attempt, and injected with 0.7 ml of flunitrazepam combined with 5 ml saline solution. As soon as the injection was completed, the interrogation began.
[Begin Transcript 00:00:05]
JB: What is your relation to Wilbur Cross?
JM: I don't see how this has any relevance to our current problem. Nor how you have any right to request that information. Sir.
JB: You've still got a mouth on you, huh? Don't know what I expected. You're that street whore we hired, are you not? Of course your mouth would be the most important part.
JM: I'm not sassing you, sir. I'm simply stating my misunderstanding of the situation. If I was woken up in the middle of the night for this, I'd appreciate knowing why I happen to be important enough to question.
JB: You don't need to know that. Simply answer me. What is your relation to Colonel Wilbur R. Cross?
JM: He is- was my friend. Is that all you wanted from me? Can I go now?
JB: Oh, a friend you say? Well you weren't his only friend, and yet you were the only one unharmed yesterday. Why is that?
JM: I don't know, sir.
JB: I'm sure you know something. You went to him first. You could have very well had something to do with the attack.
JM: I would never. I am loyal to this organization above all else. I have been nothing but loyal to you. I swear on my life.
JB: Swearing on a traitor's life doesn't mean much.
JM: I'm not a traitor, you fucking pig! ...I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry sir. I'm so sorry.
JB: Board him. He should know how to address his superiors with respect.
JM: Please. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry... I'm sorry...
[Indistinct]
[00:11:56]
JB: Do we have an understanding, Major?
JM: ...yes, sir.
JB: Will you refer to your superiors by anything other than "sir" or "ma'am"?
JM: No, sir.
JB: Good. Now, would you like to truthfully answer my previous question about your relationship to Wilbur Cross?
JM: My apologies, sir, but I thought I already did? We were friends, and then he swore fealty to whatever resides beyond that portal. Now we're not.
JB: I was looking for a concise answer, Major.
JM: Sorry, sir.
JB: Are you telling the truth about your relationship? There was nothing romantic there, no hidden feelings that may have lead to assisting him after he left?
JM: Of course not, sir.
JB: I don't believe you. Tell me the truth, or we'll put you under the water again.
JM: I'm not lying, we had nothing between us except for a friendship and a mentorship. I promise, sir. If we had anything else together, I'd have told you as soon as it occurred.
JB: Alright boys, you know what to do.
JM: No. Please-
[Indistinct]
[00:18:31]
JB: Would you like to tell us anything yet?
JM: I...
JB: Yes? Spit it out.
JM: I was in love with him...
JB: There we go! Look at you, finally admitting something. At least you have some sense.
JM: I swear to you, sir, that just because I was in love with him doesn't mean I would have betrayed PEIP for him.
JB: Well, I don't know if I can trust that. But I'm nice, so here's what I'm going to do. We're going to dose you with something that'll make you more... malleable. You'll be more likely to tell the truth and to cooperate. Don't try to resist, it'll be easier if you let it take effect.
JM: I- yes sir.
[JM dosed with 150 ml sodium thiopental]
JB: How ya feeling, soldier?
JM: 'ired...
JB: Good. Where are you?
JM: Uhhhh... I dunno? Sorry...
JB: Wow, you just fall right under this shit, huh? I bet I could do anything I wanted to you, and you wouldn't even know. Maybe you'd even like it, you slut.
JM: Mhm...
JB: But that's not what we're here for. Tell me the true nature of the relationship between yourself and Colonel Cross.
JM: Uh- righ', Wil. Yes. We'r frens. I love him, he doesn love me. Simmle.
JB: We already got that part. What was your relationship to him after he went through the portal?
JM: Oh, sorr'... I aven seen 'im ince the portal.
JB: So you weren't lying to me, then?
JM: No sir.
JB: Were you in cahoots with any entity from beyond that portal since he entered?
JM: Nosir.
JB: Well, considering I don't think you can lie in this state, I'm going to assume you're telling me the truth. Our apologies for the misunderstanding.
JM: Issok.
JB: There must be something we can do to make this up to you. What would you like?
JM: ...sleep?
JB: Well that sounds very nice. Unfortunately, we can't let you go to sleep until the drug wears off, you see. But I do have an idea of what we can do while we wait. Does that sound nice?
JM: Mhm, sure...
JB: Now, if I asked you to do anything right now, you'd do it. Isn't that right?
JM: Yessir...
JB: Wonderful. You all may leave, I have something to do here. Now, stay still, pretty boy, and open up your mouth.
JM: [Indiscernible slurring. Reminiscent of protests]
[End Transcript 00:32:17]
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ladyshadowsblog · 20 hours
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Needed comfort.
A drawn and written story with both rehab Asahi & Midnight Dreamer
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After a loud crash that Midnight heard from Asahi's room after he got back from a meeting. He ran to Asahi's room with the thought that the cultists were trying to take Asahi back, once he opened the door he noticed Asahi was there but not laying in bed asleep. Instead he was sitting on the floor knees to his chest; it seemed he hadn't noticed Midnight. He walked up to Asahi and sat down next to him, he then could hear soft cries only to be heard when close.
He sat there for what felt like minutes till he finally said something, Asahi jumped at the voice of Dreamer being right beside him quickly looking next to him in shock. It's very rare that Dreamer goes into that room of Asahi's, he had betrayed him so it was only right for Dreamer to hate him but yet he took Asahi under his wing.
All Asahi could do was tear up, unable to say a word before Dreamer hugged him "Let it all out Asahi, i know your hurting" Dreamer states as Asahi looked down at his knees vision now blurry from tears. He couldn't understand why Dreamer was so persistent that he would care for him and why he wanted to be around him.
So Asahi cried, he cried as if had lost everything. So many emotions, so many questions he couldn't ask in his current state, so many regrets that no apology would help the fate that Blooming Stars faced all those years ago. As Asahi cried, Dreamer moved his tail around him as a way to comfort him, to make him feel safe.
He hated seeing Asahi cry many years ago and he still does even years later. He started to tear up hearing the sobs his old friend was letting out, he wanted to mend a broken relationship that occurred from betrayal. Dreamer sat there hugging Asahi with his own thoughts, one flooding his mind the most was the fact he absolutely hated what those cultists did to Asahi he hated seeing him being destroyed mentally. He hates seeing him cry like he lost everything, like the day when left those flowers for the people of Blooming Stars; Dreamer visited his home land often it was a way of comfort, but he would see Asahi There sometimes leaving flowers for those who passed during the attack seeing Asahi cry and fall to his knees hurt him more then losing his people did that Horrible Day.
It had been almost two hours when Asahi finally calmed down and fell asleep leaning on Dreamer. Dreamer looked down at the sleeping Kitsuné and signed he moved to put him on the bed so he himself could get some much needed rest, but when he moved to get up he noticed Asahi flinch as if having a nightmare so he stayed and used his arms to drag himself & Asahi to lean on the nearby wall. Dreamer was exhausted from the thoughts and memories of the past so it wasn't long till he too fell asleep after but not before he wrapped part of his clock around Asahi as he drifted off to sleep.
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Bonus! Cloudy Sky's design jumpscare
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As Cloud started waking up he very quickly realized Dreamer wasn't in bed with him nor did he come to the bed last night.
He searched the home, looking for his husband who seemed to have just vanished with no warning. He remembered they were taking care of Asahi whilst he recovered and served his time for being part of the attacks and being a cultist as well, so he walked to Asahi's room and quietly opened the door knowing Asahi wasn't up this early in the morning neither was Dreamer hint why he was so alert.
When he opened the door he peaked inside the room and looked around before noticing both Asahi and Dreamer on the floor Dreamer leaning on a wall whilst Asahi lay peacefully sleeping on Dreamer both of them still sleeping peacefully. Cloud smiled, closing the door quietly behind him as he left to his bedroom to catch up on some important paper work whilst the two slept peacefully for the next 3 hours.
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I hope the long awaited Fluff was enjoyed, and you guys got a story out of it so you guys got some good wholesome foor
Dreamer & Cloud belong to me @ladyshadowsblog
Asahi Belongs to the @truelazymaker
Space Riders AU belongs to @onyxonline
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nicolovesutoo · 22 hours
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Satoru x Suguru - STARBOY
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Themes: Meeting at a nightclub, bartender Suguru and rich boy Satoru, love at first sight
FLUFF: 1,023 words ⋆。°✩⋆。°✩
Suguru was a simple man with a simple routine: Shower, Eat breakfast, Attend college classes, Finish homework, and then Go to work. He has had this routine for over 2 years, it was ingrained in him. He was the type of person who needed a schedule, he couldn’t function without one. Working at Club STARLIGHT wasn’t on his bucket list, but it paid well. His friend got him the job after hearing him vent about his asshole manager at the last bar he worked at. At this job though, Suguru could wear what he wanted as long as it was all black and his hours were flexible.
Tonight at STARLIGHT, though, made him take multiple shots of espresso to the head. He had been up since 9 AM to finish a class project and went to work at noon… it was now 10 PM. He was covering a shift for Shoko because she had night classes and had covered his shift last week because he was sick. His least favorite thing to pour was beer, mostly because of the strong smell that it produced.
Dressed in black button-down and blue jeans, he poured a beer for a female patron before cleaning a wine glass. The music was blaring and the DJ was shit tonight, he looked like he was pretending to know what he was spinning. The remixes made no sense, like, “Who mixes ‘Blue’ and ‘Despacito’??” He thought, rolling his eyes and yawning before drying the wine glass. The theme for the night was ‘Christmas in São Paulo’, but he didn’t understand it either. The vote on the theme was held by his coworkers at 4 PM on Wednesday like clockwork. He tied his long black hair into a ponytail and listened to other people’s conversations.
A certain man caught his eye though, he stood out like a sore thumb but in a good way. His white hair was messy and he was dressed in a blue dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up, black pants, and black dress shoes. He was laughing and chatting it up with the other male patrons that Suguru had seen around more than once. These men spent a lot of money in one night; their checks usually racked up to $600+. They were important businessmen who, when they were drunk enough, wanted to buy a little bit more than just a drink. But Suguru always declined and called a cab for the men, even when they weren’t bothering him.
The man with the white hair and pale skin approached the bar, sitting right in front of him. He had an expensive watch on his right arm and his tinted round glasses barely covered his bright blue eyes. The man had the smile of an angel but the appearance of a sly devil. He spoke gently to Suguru, the man was sober.
“Hi there, Mr..?” He asked, gesturing towards Suguru. They didn’t wear name tags here.
“My name is Suguru.” He answered, coming closer to the bar and leaning over to talk to the man. Surprisingly they were of equal height. “What can I do for you?”
The man looked him up and down before flashing a smile and lowering his glasses, “Well my name is Satoru, and can you make me a Hennessy on the rocks?”
Suguru nodded and turned away from him, going to make the drink. Usually, Suguru would be the one making the conversation with the patron but Satoru carried it. He talked all about his job working at this fashion company named, ‘KAIZEN.CO’, how he was the future CEO because of his father.
Suguru didn’t come from a rich family like Satoru did. Sure they were well off but not designer well off. When he handed him the drink the man’s hand lingered on his for a bit, longer than needed, before taking away the drink. Satoru took a sip from the drink and gave him a thumbs up, signaling that he did a good job. He handed him the check, the drink coming out to $20. He paid in cash, placing down a $100 bill and telling Suguru that it was his tip before winking. He wrote something down on the check before walking away to his buddies, a man with blonde hair and another with brown hair.
Suguru raised an eyebrow before picking up the check and reading what the man had written. He had written his number and told him to ‘Call him <;’. He scoffed before sticking the receipt in his back pocket and finishing his job.
⋆。°✩⋆。°✩
He went home at midnight, completing a 12-hour shift, and was ready to pass out. When he lay on his bed, however, he sighed and thought about the man who took an interest in him. Without consulting his friends, he took the receipt out of his back pocket and dialed the man’s number into his phone. He put it on speaker and waited anxiously for him to answer, his heart dropping a bit while it rang.
When he answered the phone, his voice sounded groggy, as if he had just woken up, “Hello..? Who’s this?” He asked with a yawn.
Suguru hesitated before speaking into the phone, “It’s Suguru, the man you asked to call you..”
He could hear the man scrambling around, knocking some things over while cursing under his breath. He heard something ‘click’ before Satoru spoke again, “I was hoping you would call! If you aren’t busy tomorrow, well today, I was wondering if you wanted to go get a coffee or something.”
“Are you asking me on a date?” Suguru asked, laughing a bit while the man on the other line scrambled for words.
“W-Well yeah! If that’s what you want to call it, I mean you don’t have to that’s totally chill, like we can keep talking–”
“There’s this nice cafe on 5th street named ‘ANGELS’. Meet me there at 10 AM?” He asked him, ending the rambling.
He felt him smiling on the other end before answering, “Yes, I’d love to.”
“See you then.” He said before hanging up the phone and telling him goodnight.
(I'm also on AO3: ily__nico)
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raamitsu · 2 days
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So uh, correct me if I am wrong but from what I am able to understand regarding Ui Ui's newly revealed technique, not only can he teleports other people from a place to another, he can also swap souls without unnecessarily disrupting the host (body) - with condition to require a granted permission from its owner. That's what he meant when he mentioned that he can "swap the contents without opening the boxes". However, it is limited for only two marked individuals, which is why Yuji had to choose the people he wanted to swap soul with wisely.
Sounds familiar? Exactly. It has already foreshadowed in Chapter 222 (reference below) where Yuuji and Kusakabe were seen training while having their souls swapped. Nobody would have known or noticed that something seemed off between them until Yuuji called Kusakabe with his own name. This revelation was finally included in order to highlight how important Ui Ui's technique is in the current battlefield.
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On a side note, it was revealed in Ch. 258 that Yuji swapped his soul with Kusakabe to adapt to his simple domain in Ch. 222 and probably has swapped with other person's soul to adapt Reverse Curse Technique (RCT) at the same time which we are yet to know who. There are many speculations made by the readers; and most of them believed it could possibly be Yuta, Gojo, Hakari, Choso (seems unlikely but I'll include him anyway) or Ui Ui.
While I liked the idea that it was Gojo's [that Yuji swapped his soul with,] I suddenly remembered that each time Gege revealed their group discussion, Gojo [unfortunately] was not visible so personally to me, I do not think it is possible to gain his permission while he was not around - unless Gege proves me wrong in the upcoming chapters (HOPEFUL HE DOES CUZ THAT WOULD BE DOPE ASF) but it does not matter who that person will be as long as it is beneficial to Yuji's survival to take down Sukuna.
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