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#i’ve had so many good memories here and have met so many amazing people that i get to call my friends 🥹

sharlsworld · 1 month

Text

birthday girl - f1 grid

⍟ charles leclerc x fem!wolff!reader

⍟ it’s an f1 holiday, y/n wolff’s birthday. a series of birthday posts made by a bunch of people involved with f1.

fc: various girls from pinterest

warnings: none really tbh just a age gap (it’s my fathers fault for making me like this)

authors note: idk what i’m doing i’m bored out of my mind and have nothing better to do. lmk if i should keep doing these or not, p.s there’s google translated french and spanish 😭

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55 and 6,938,012 others

charles_leclerc Mon cœur, mon amour, mon trésor, there truly aren’t enough words in the human vocabulary to describe my love for you. I’ve had my eye on you before we even spoke to each other, there’s no doubt in my mind that we will spend eternity together. Here’s to another year around the sun, happy 22nd birthday chérie, my love for you is infinite. ♥️

yn thank you honey, i love you bigger then the sky 💘

↳ charles_leclerc My love for you is everlasting chérie ♥️

landonorris you two make me sick

↳ yn good stay stick

scuderiaferrari Happy birthday y/n! Wishing you a year full of happiness and health beautiful girl! ❤️🥳

♥︎ by author & yn

sharls_lerklerk “there’s no doubt in my mind that we will spend eternity together” the highways lookin real cozy 🥰🥰

charlotte2304 Happy birthday beautiful y/n I love you to the moon and back 💞

♥︎ by author & yn

yn you really like those faceless pictures huh? 😭

↳ charles_leclerc I just love your hair so much chérie

arthur_leclerc and to think that 4 years ago you were blushing at the fact she even looked at you

↳ lorenzotl He still does

lordperceval him not responding to anyone’s comment accept hers 😭

lewishamilton

liked by glenpowell and 5,182,732 others

lewishamilton My honorary sister, i’ve known you since you were 10 years old and it’s been so amazing watching you grow into such a good person. Thank you for always supporting me, baking me sweets and making sure I don’t get growled at for eating so much sugar, celebrating with me, watching roscoe, and always being there for me no matter what. Happy birthday y/n, I couldn’t have asked for a better honorary sister than you. I love you to the moon and back ❤️

yn thank you so much lew, your the big brother i never got. i love you so so much 💞

♥︎ by author

beloved.hamilton i hold there sibling duo so close to my heart 🥹

mercedesamgf1 Our paddock princess!! Wishing you the happiest birthday sweetheart 🥰💙

♥︎ by author & yn

futurewag822 i love how everyone loves y/n cause same 😭

georgerussell63 Awh you old sap, happy birthday y/n i love you lots thank you for always being so sweet and supportive 💙

♥︎ by author & yn

↳ yn thank you george i love you 💞

carlossainz55

liked by olliebearman and 1,092,566 others

carlossainz55 Mi querida amiga, feliz cumpleaños! I wish you nothing but the best in life, i’ve never met someone as sweet, welcoming, caring, and funny as you. I will always cherish our friendship, I cannot wait to make more memories with you in the years to come. Te quiero mucho mi querida amiga ❤️

yn thank you carlito i love you bunches ❤️

♥︎ by author

hoeforsainzzz i want to be like y/n when i grow up no cappy 😭

charles_leclerc Why do you have so many pictures of me and y/n?

↳ carlossainz55 It’s my job as the third wheel mate

↳ yn your the best third wheel carlito

landonorris all i got for my birthday was a “happy birthday lando!” 😐 but she gets a WHOLE PARAGRAPH

↳ yn just say your jealous

carlossainzoficial Feliz cumpleaños y/n! Enjoy your special day ❤️

↳ yn thank you better carlos ❤️

↳ carlossainz55 wow.

landonorris

liked by tomholland2013 and 1,223,704 others

landonorris happy birthday short stack, your one rude but funny, mean but pretty, ruthless but kind hearted girl. thank you for making me feel tall, if you ever find yourself single one day, you have my number 😉 i love you bunches y/n ❤️

charles_leclerc thats not funny 😐 no one’s laughing.

yn thank you norizz 🥹 i love you many bunches more ❤️

↳ charles_leclerc don’t make me lock you in the room all day

mclaren Happy birthday to our favorite guest! Your welcome anytime y/n 😉🧡

↳ scuderiaferrari No. She’s not aloud to leave us ever.

↳ mercedesamgf1 Are we forgetting who raised her? 🤣

↳ yn guys stop there’s enough of me for everyone 🤗

↳ charles_leclerc N O.

alex_albon she makes charles look tall

↳ charles_leclerc My ego is hurt

landolove all the admins fighting over y/n made my week 😭

oscarpiastri Happy birthday y/n 🧡

↳ yn thank you osc ❤️

lilymhe

liked by alex_albon and 907,125 others

lilymhe wishing my best friend an amazing birthday, i’m forever grateful for f1 bringing us together. i’ve never had such an amazing friend like you, i hold our friendship so close to my heart. i love you past the moon and beyond the stars ❤️

yn i love you lily ❤️

↳ lilymhe i love you more 😘❤️

alex_albon happy birthday ig, your pretty funny ig. your a good friend ig and amazing baker ig. I GUESS i love you. ❤️🙄

↳ yn i guess i love you 🙄 thank you ig ❤️

charles_leclerc lily you are not invited to dinner tonight. i would like to spend the night with my girlfriend and not watch her spend the whole night with you and kika

↳ lilymhe just mad your girl loves me & kika more then you 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

↳ francisca.cgomes bro thinks that’s his girlfriend 🤣🤣🤣🤣

↳ yn can’t wait to see you lovely ladies tonight 😉

↳ charles_leclerc PLEASE stop

↳ pierregasly we’re BEGGING

↳ alex_albon on our KNEES

francisca.cgomes

liked by pierregasly and 920,104 others

francisca.cgomes my dearest friend, you’ve helped me more in more ways then you’ll ever know. i’ve been so lucky to call you my best friend since we were little girls, i love you so so so much y/n. happy birthday big booty judy ❤️

yn i love you for infinity kika ❤️

♥︎ by author

↳ francisca.cgomes i love you more then infinity ❤️

pierregasly happy birthday to the biggest pain in my ass i love you ❤️

♥︎ by author & yn

↳ yn thanks for always distributing my beauty sleep pear i love you more ❤️

landosfootfungus i want to be y/n

↳ danielricciardo me too 😔

charles_leclerc big booty indeed

♥︎ by author

lilymhe our little girl is growing up on us 🥹

↳ francisca.cgomes times flying 😔

iheartyn big booty judy 😭

liked by maxverstappen1 and 20,077,284

f1 Before the day is over we would love to wish our paddock princess a very happy 22nd birthday! We hope your day was filled with nothing but love and happiness, we hope your day was as perfect as you are! 🤍

yn thank you admin 🥹❤️

♥︎ by author

maxverstappen1 Happy birthday to the biggest pain in my ass. I love you more then you know y/n ❤️

♥︎ by author

↳ yn max…this is the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me 🥹❤️

olliebearman Happy birthday y/n, thank you for being so kind and baking me so much sweets i’ll definitely get a talking to about 😂❤️

♥︎ by author

↳ yn don’t worry ollie i won’t let your trainer growl at you 😭

fernandoalo_oficial Happy birthday to my favorite girl ever ❤️

♥︎ by author

↳ yn nando stop 🥹 I LOVE YOU

↳ fernandoalo_oficial I LOVE YOU MORE Y/N 😂❤️

danielricciardo Happy birthday sunshine, i love you lots. Pretty glad to know someone like you 🌞

♥︎ by author

↳ yn i love you more danny ❤️

yukitsunoda0511 Happy birthday y/n thank you for always making me laugh ❤️

♥︎ by author

↳ yn thank you yuki ❤️

i got lazy towards the end 😭 lmk what you think.

#charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc smau #f1 x reader #fernando alonso #daniel ricciardo #lewis hamilton #lando norris #yuki tsunoda #pierre gasly #f1 smau #alex albon #carlos sainz #charles leclerc imagine

442 notes · View notes

writers-hes · 9 months

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Toy Horses Outside the Brothel

You always knew Tommy as the cheerful boy who took care of you. He always knew you as the smart girl that he visited by the docks. The daughter of a prostitute, the son of a deadbeat father; a soldier who protected his country; a whore who protected him; a gangster who controlled Brimingham; and now, a wife. War changes people, you just didn't realize that war could change you both. (angst, depictions of abuse, poverty, prostitution, canon-typical themes, death, war, time jumps)

A/N: This is dedicated to @runnning-outof-time ! Thank you for giving me guidelines and for reading my work before anybody else did. You’re amazing and I wish I could write Tommy as good as you do.

Want to be tagged? navigation | main master lists | PROTECTION MASTERLIST

BIRMINGHAM, 1900:

Tommy first met her when his father took him to the docks. Arthur Shelby Sr. told impressionable young Tommy that there were kids he could play with by the docks. Tommy agreed, wanting to impress his father. On the way there, right outside of what looked like a house with many rooms, was her.

You were lonely and something in Tommy told him to play with you instead. Besides, the boys were too big around the docks. Arthur Shelby left him right outside the establishment and threw a shilling to you. You picked it up, stuffed it in your pocket, and looked at him.

He smiled at you widely, a tooth missing from his mouth and extended his hand towards you.

“I’m Tommy,” he said. You reciprocate the gesture, telling him your name and shaking his hand. You were more reserved, Tommy noticed. He was so used to the ruckus in their house that he expected every child to be as energetic as them. “Why did my father give you money?”

“He wants me to play with you while he’s inside,” you said. “I don’t have many toys but…I do have this,” you said, showing him your wooden horse toy. They were your prized possession, one of the few gifts that your father sent when he promised the world to your mother.

“Oh! I love horses,” he said. “Do you? I like watching horses,”

“Yes,” you replied. “My mother said that my father owned many. I’ve never met him though. Where do you watch horses?”

“That’s alright. Fathers hit kids. See?” he said, showing you a bruise on his side quickly. “My mother puts ice on it and it tickles. We watch it in the races. My mum takes me for my birthdays. She usednto ride a white horse before. She told me. Do you go to school?”

“No,” you shook your head. “But my mum taught me how to read and how to write. Sometimes, Big Johnny teaches me arithmetic. One plus one equals two,”

“You’re smart. Who’s Big Johnny?”

You hummed, making the wooden horse gallop on the murky ground. People in the house all told you that you were. If only poor Mary Magdalene had the means to send you to school. If only. You stop your movements and move your toy towards Tommy.

“Here,” you said. “Big Johnny is the man who runs this place. He’s kind,”

“You won’t have a toy,” he replied.

“It’s okay. I have more but they’re in my mama’s room. My father sent them. Sorry if it’s dirty,”

“Thanks,” he said. It’s the first time anyone has ever given him something without asking for it. He keeps it with him; keeps the memory of a girl who watched him intently while he played with a toy horse. That’s why when his father exited the house, with less money in his pocket, Tommy asked if he could come again next time.

When the house closed, you ran to your mother’s room. You usually had to stay out until five in the morning, sleeping on the sacks right in front of the brothel until your mother woke you up. She’s been seeing less men these days…always cooped up in her room, asking for you. She didn’t mind if you stained her bed with sweat and grease. She’d ask how your day was and you told him about Tommy, the boy you met earlier.

“I’m glad you have a friend,” she coughed into her white handkerchief. The blood stain was normal now. You were worried at first, but your mother told you to never tell anyone. You just never knew how serious it all was when you slipped once. You were talking to Big Johnny; he was teaching you how to subtract.

“If I help you, are you going to pay me?” you asked, perched on his lap. He had been the only father figure in your life. He’d help your mum surprise you for your birthdays and give you some money every now and then.

“Pay you? You’re robbing me,” he kids. “What do you need the money for?”

“I’m planning to buy mum a present. A nice handkerchief,” you said. “The one she has has blood—“

“What is it, bug?” he asked, eyebrows furrowing.

“Nothing,” you shrugged, smiling sickly sweet.

“You have to tell me,” he replied. “It’s your—your safety,”

It was your turn to look confused.

“But mum told me to never tell anyone,” you whispered, heart racing. What did he mean by it? “Why would I not be safe? I’m safe. I have mum with me,”

Big Johnny ran his hand through his hair, then his chin. You knew that it was a sign of his agitation, so you relented.

“You can’t tell anyone,” you whispered. “But mum has been coughing up blood for a while. She said it’s fine. You won’t take her from me right, Johnny?”

“Fuck, kid,” he sighed, stressed at the sudden turn out of events. “No more arithmetic today, okay? I’ll go talk to your mum. Just go outside or play or whatever,”

“Is everything okay?” you asked, panic rising in your throat. It constricts while you keep yourself from crying. “Mum will be so mad at me! Please don’t tell on me,”

“Do you know why she’s coughing up blood?” he asked, his voice serious. He knew that you had to be talked to in his “adult voice” for you to listen. You knew that he needed to be stern for you to listen.

“N-no…” your hair falls messily as you shake your head, picking on your nail beds.

“She’s sick, bug,” he said. “If we don’t do anything about it, you could get sick too. The two of you might die,” he explained. “Look, kid…you have a bright future ahead of you, alright?”

“What will you do?” you asked. “You can’t take her from me! Please, Johnny. My mum is all I have,” you cried, tears started flowing once the first one dropped.

Johnny couldn’t do anything else. He relented but locked your mother in her room. Whenever you went in, he made sure you had some face mask on to protect yourself. You only saw her for a few minutes every day. Parting her was painful and Johnny had to console you while you cried. He gave up his bunk and slept in his workspace so you won’t have to sleep with your mum.

A week later, your mum died of lung cancer.

It was too late, the doctor explained. Johnny let you stay in his bunk, never mind the fact that he had no space for himself now. He didn’t mind. You were his top priority. How is he going to raise a child in a brothel?

Your mother always told you that as long as you were with her, you would never be lonely. There was no burial, just her body being thrown and burned with the rest of Birmingham’s garbage. It made you wonder what your body would be like dead. You decided to never end up like her, one way or another you were getting out.

Tommy continued to visit you, but he knew that you were different now. It has only been a week and you’ve grown up so fast. When he arrived, a box of your toy horses was prepared for him.

“What’s this for?” he asked, eyes brightening up at the sight of the box. His father threw a shilling your way again.

“It’s for you. I don’t want to play anymore,” you said. “I kept one white horse for me but you can have them.”

“Why not?” he asked, galloping the toy you gave him last week. “Thank you. I don’t have my own. I always have to share with Arthur, John and Ada.”

“My mom died…you were my first friend and you never met her,” you said, tears falling on the ground. “I’ve been living in Big Johnny’s room,”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” he said. “My Aunt Pol says that friends are there for each other. I’m…I’m your friend,”

You smiled a teary smile, appreciating the underlying message behind his words. He’ll be there for you. But until when?

BIRMINGHAM, 1905

Fifteen, you were fifteen. You haven’t even turned fifteen for a week and you were working. The owner of the house told Big Johnny that if you wanted to keep living there, you would have to work too. Johnny had no place for himself, no house—his money all went to you. Your clothes, the books you’ve read, the food you ate. He'll get you a cake with a candle along with a pound for special occasions. If you were lucky, some of the girls would give you something. Tommy’s dad stopped coming and so was the shilling you got.

He stayed, though. He’d talk to you about school and how he wanted to leave.

“You’re lucky you’re in school,” you said, watching Tommy smoke a cigarette. You were never a fan if them, seeing as your mother died of fucking lung cancer. “You have to stay,”

“I’m not built for it though. They’re all so boring,” he said, blowing the smoke away. “If only I could work like you. Why are you dressed so nicely anyway?”

“The owner told me to work,” you shrugged, pulling the strap of your dress back on your shoulder. “Johnny asked the boss if I could help him with the girls and management, but he said no. Wanted me to work because it will bring more money in,” you bitterly replied. “I want to go to school but the fucking boss wanted me to present myself as a Cherry Girl. You wanna know what that is?”

“What?”

“A fucking virgin.” you shrugged. “Said many men will pay for someone like me. Today’s my first night and Johnny cried a little bit when he saw me. I’d kill and die to go to school, Tom.”

“Shit, love, I’m sorry. I was being insensitive,” he offered. “Hm, maybe you’ll bag one rich man you know? Some rich bloke from London and he’ll take you. Besides, at least you smell nice,”

“This shit is awful,” you countered, sighing. You blinked back the tears that threatened to spill. “Fuck, I said I wasn’t going to cry tonight.”

“Hey,” he said, sitting closer to you. He wraps your arm around you and lets you stay there. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll stay in school and do well, okay? I’ll study so hard; I’ll take you out of here. Let you live in a mansion with lots of space to run in. Fuck, I’m sorry, love,”

“It’s not your fault, Tommy,” was your weak reply. “I’m just…I told myself that I would never be like my mother and now, I am,”

“You’re not her,” he whispered, tightening his arms around you.m, never mind if the grease and sweat of his clothes mixed with your perfume. “You’re not her.”

BIRMINGHAM, 1906

“Fuck, Tom. You can’t stay here while I’m working,” you scolded. You were lying, you appreciated the fact that Tommy was here. He’ll wait until you finish your shift, until you meet your quota. It was always quick, though. You had a rich patron that covered your every living expense.

“My patron’s coming,” you told him, and he tenses. He remembered the way you cried to him after your first ever shift last year. How some old fuck didn’t even bother. He finished and threw you some coins. He remembered his rage when you told him about this new guy. He’s quite scary but he pays the most, you said. “He doesn’t like seeing me with other men,”

“I’m a man now?” he quips, a smirk on his lips. “It’s not like I can afford it. I’m broke. Besides, I’ll act like a bodyguard, yeah? All I ask for payment is a day out with you. Aunt Poll is cooking something on Sunday. Want you to eat something that’s not whatever is being cooked here. We can go on a picnic. I met a girl who worked at this mansion, and they have lots of flowers in the garden. Shit you’ll like,”

You offered him a slight smile, nodding.

“Will your aunt be okay with…me eating your food?” you asked. Tommy took notice of how insecurity laced your voice. His suggestions of meeting his family have always been met with resistance. He understood. Although Polly has been insisting on meeting the girl he’s been spending his time with, he couldn’t risk his father recognising you and then, treating you like trash.

“Of course. She’s been more annoying. Told my mum about the girl I’m seeing,” he said. “I’ll be the first boy to take you out, hm?”

“Shut up,” was your only reply.

Sunday comes and you asked your boss for a day off.

That day, Tommy took you to the garden with Polly’s chicken stew and his mum’s fig cake. Tommy didn’t let you work, he set down the food and opened the containers.

“The best meal you’ll ever have,” he said while you sat. “I should’ve done this earlier. What have you been eating?”

“I’m lucky enough to be fed. Johnny gets me some food out of the brothel sometimes.” you said. “Thanks for taking me here. I love it.”

“I knew it,” he said, spooning out your portion and giving it to you.

“I want to have a house with lots of flowers. Different coloured blooms all year round.” you said.

“The caretaker of the garden says that we can pick some flowers. Do you want to take some home?” he asked. You nodded, a flush on your face. How could someone not love him?

BIRMINGHAM, 1908

“How have you been my angel?” he asked, twirling your hair in between your fingers. “Can’t believe I missed you last week,” he mumbles, kissing your shoulder. You giggled. “I was in London and all I could think of was you,”

“I’ve never been to London,” you told him. “Are you going to take me there?” you asked, wide-eyed. He’s been your patron since you reached 18. He was quite younger than your usual customers. He always came to visit when you were seventeen but never looked at you. As if that made it better.

“You haven’t?” he asked. “I’ll take you there, Angel. I’ll show you the whole world. Hm?”

“You will?” you asked, faux excitement in your voice. He loved this; you knew. He loved that you were a fragile little bird in need of saving. He loved that you’d listen to him talk about his father. He’s the sappy kind. He liked to hold hands, talk, and make love. He’s paid you more than anyone else and gave you a hefty allowance. Big Johnny didn’t have to think about your safety anymore. “I want to go to the city! Buy everything that I see and just…breathe a different air,” you said.

“Fuck, baby, I’ll take you there and buy you everything you ever lay your eyes on. I’m not fucking around. I’ll take you there,”

“You will?” you asked. “I don’t like the idea of you leaving me. Did you know that? Sometimes, when you leave, I have to lock myself in my room and refuse everyone,” you lied. You locked yourself in because your quota was already met. You were just saying these things to keep him coming back. A little bit of pretending never hurt you. It meant a bigger tip, more money.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Of course,” you said. “You’re my hero…”

Somehow, you didn’t find yourself lying when you told him. You felt dirty, you felt like your mother when she thought your father would give her the world. But Simon paid big money to have you alone for multiple nights a week. No other customers were to ask for services.

“I’m your hero, alright…you’re my little bird. I’m dead set on taking you with me to London. Once I get my inheritance, I’ll show you the world and get you out of these slums.”

BIRMINGHAM, 1909

“You don’t have to do this anymore,” Tommy said. You were well enough to have your own place somewhere near the docks now. Johnny had given you some furniture that the house wasn’t using anymore, helping you fix the tables and the chairs that you would be using. You didn’t have to live at the brothel anymore and it was all thanks to Simon.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Tommy,” you chuckled. “Do you like my place?” Tommy looked around, flowerpots littered your house.

“I’m serious.” he asked. “I’ll have you safe in Small Heath,”

“And my job? What will pay for this place? I finally have enough space for my flowers.” you asked. “I can’t just leave. Come on, you have to see the view on my balcony.”

You dragged Tommy’s hand to the balcony to show him the view. You were a little far from the docks now but from your balcony you can see it. The blue water, the usual chaos…you were smiling so freely, so beautifully. Tommy stills, unspoken words lingering in the air. You could realise it too…you’ve been realising it slowly. The world was in your hands. You could seize it if you wanted it. It fills Tommy with determination. It pumps through his veins, and it rings in his ears. Determination, consistency, and power. Three things to play with the world…three things that he’ll have. He could get you a bigger house. If he played right, he could have it all.

“This is why I got this place,” you said. “I mean, there were others but the view of the docks…I used to think everything about it was so ugly, you know? So grey, so evil…so grotesque but from the vantage point, everything is different,” a soft smile played on your lips when you let go of Tommy’s hand. He already missed your touch. “I can’t leave my job now because I wouldn’t have this,”

“I’ll work for it,” he says proudly.

“Tom, I know you’re not happy with how I earn money. Fuck, I’m not happy too. I hate that job. I know you hate it when I turn down your offer. But I have nothing else. You have to support your siblings. Don’t you get it? We’re all whores, Tom. We just sell different parts of ourselves. Mine just so happens to be my body.”

It enrages him and you could see it. See his face fall apart, how his jaw ticked.

“I’ll do it.” he said. “I’ll fucking do it. You think I’m fucking around when I tell you that I’ll protect you? I will. I’ll make a name for myself and protect you. I’ll fucking protect you; I swear on my life.”

“I know you will, Tom,” you said, inching closer. “But can’t you just be happy for me? This once?”

“We could add a little chair right here,” he relented. How could he ever tell you how much he hated himself for not being enough right now? “I’ll bring some of Polly’s flowers. You’d let me stay here?”

“Only if you’re being nice,”

“What if I’m too tired to make the trip back to Small Heath? Can I stay here?” he asked.

“Sure,” you shrugged. “But only if you have food for me or something,”

“Or something? You’re not letting me stay for free? I’m your best mate,” he chuckled. “I mooch off you all the time,”

“You have more than I do. It’s time for me to mooch off on you,”

“Yeah? Well, I want yours,” he said. “I’m glad though…that you don’t have to live there anymore. You’re safer here,”

“Thank you, Tom,” you smiled, sitting by the railing of your balcony. “I’m glad too.”

“I’ll make sure you’re protected,” he promises.

“How?”

“I’ll protect you.”

BIRMINGHAM, 1910

Tommy gave you the number of his telephone years ago. You were shaking, something bad had happened and you didn’t know who else to turn to. Big Johnny was too busy breaking up fights in the bar beside the brothel. You walked home shakily. Tommy called the brothel earlier to tell you that he couldn’t make it tonight because of some gang business. It was fine, of course. So, you went to the market to buy some supplies. You just didn’t know that he would be there.

You were waiting for someone to pick up the phone, biting your perfectly manicured nails.

“Who’s calling?” a woman asked from the other line. Her tone was snippy, and you knew she meant business.

“Hi,” you cleared your throat. “I’m looking for Tommy Shelby?”

“Who is this?” she asked, confused as to why a woman would suddenly call Tommy in such a manner. She was used to Tommy’s girls calling, an embarrassment usually hinted when they spoke. But this new girl had no shame.

“I’m a friend of Tommy’s,”

“Tommy has many girlfriends. You’re going to have to be specific,” she said, intrigued.

“Oh, of course,” you said. You told her your name. “Is he there?”

“Tommy!” you could hear her voice call. “Some girl is on the phone for you!”

“What, Poll?” he asked, scowling.

“Pick up the phone, Tom. Your friend is asking for you,” she said, passing the phone to him. She didn’t leave the room immediately, sitting on the nearby chair instead to listen in.

“Tommy Shelby,” he says, and you breathed a sigh of relief.

“Tommy,” you whispered. “He was there…he was there.”

“Who, love?” Tommy asked. Polly noticed how his voice softened, how his stance relaxed. “Do you need me there?”

“He was one of my customers before,” you forced out. “He was always…rude and rough,” you choked. “I hate this fucking job, Tommy. I fucking hate it and he treated me like an object today just because he paid for my services years ago,” you sobbed. “I’m sorry. I know you were busy but I fucking hate it,”

“Shh…it’s okay, love. It’s okay. I’m going over there, and you could tell me,” he said. “Will that be alright?”

“I—yes,” you nodded, wiping your tears hastily. “I got some of your favourite fruit from the market today. Didn’t know you have an expensive taste,”

He chuckled softly.

“I’ll see you, alright?” he asked. “Keep the doors locked. I have my copy,”

“Okay, Tommy. Stay safe for me?” you asked.

“Of course.” Tommy put down the phone until he heard you end the line. He sighed and went to go get his coat until he saw Polly with an eyebrow raised. “Fuck, I didn’t see you there,”

“Who would? You were too lovestruck to notice anything,” she teased. “That’s the girl you’ve been seeing?”

“We’re friends, Pol,” he clarified.

“She’s the girl from the docks, then?” she asked. Tommy nodded. “Fuck, that’s rough. She’s a whore,”

“Don’t,” he said, an edge to his voice. “Don’t call her that. I’m trying to build something for all of us, Pol. For her. She hates her job…she fucking hates it and I can’t do anything about it,”

“You don’t have to save her, Tom. You can’t save everyone,” she said but she knew that Tommy was stubborn. Everything that she’ll say will fall on deaf ears.

“It’s all her,” he said, clearing his throat. “I’ll get her out of there if it’s the last thing I do.”

The walk to your place was unnerving. Thoughts swarmed in his head. If he only had it in him to murder the man who dared to look at you. He’s never made peace with how you earned your money, but he still happily showed up after every shift. You never talk about your customers, and he didn’t like to ask.

“Tommy, you’re here,” you greeted. He could see how swollen your eyes were; how red they were.

“Of course, I am,” he replied. “Are you okay?” He hangs his coat on the coat rack and walks towards the couch where you were seated.

“I am now,” you sniffed. “I’m sorry for making you worry but this job…people reduce me to such an object. I didn’t even know his name, you know?”

“I know, love.” he said, his heart beating inside his chest. What was it? What was the beating?

“Tommy, I’m going to make a request. It’s absurd and we haven’t done it yet…”

“What?” he whispered, unsure.

“Can-can you hold me?” you asked. “You don’t have to but…I have no semblance of what it’s like to be loved anymore. I want to pretend. At least for tonight, somebody out there loves me.”

“You don’t have to pretend,” he said. “You’re my friend. Of course, I love you.”

You only smiled, snuggling closer to Tommy. You were his friend…only a friend. How else would he look at you differently? You still had to pretend because the love that he was willing to give was not the love that you were looking for.

BIRMINGHAM, 1911

Multiple knocks on your door woke you up. Someone was screaming your name outside and you felt yourself panic. You took the gun that Tommy gifted you last year and crept down the stairs. You opened the door slowly to reveal two men—one older and one younger. The younger one had a smirk playing on his lips while the other looked panicked.

“Who are you?” you asked, tightening the gun behind your back.

“Arthur Shelby,” the one with the beard replied. You nodded. “I’m Tommy’s older brother. This is John,”

“Where…where’s Tommy?”

“He asked us to come get you,” John replied. “We mean no harm.”

“What happened to him?” you asked. “Come in,”

The brothers entered your house and watched you lay your gun on the table. An unspoken threat.

“Tommy’s not in a good place,” Arthur replied. “Well, he’s asking for you. He’s having these…episodes. I don’t fucking know what thr fuck they’re called but sometimes, he calls for you when he shuts down,”

“It's even worse today,” John added. “Our mother died,”

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry,” you said, offering a small smile. “Will you let me dress better? I’ll come with you,”

You met the brothers outside of your house, your gun secured on your skirt.

“Are you Tommy’s whore?” John asked as you walked.

“John!”

“I’m not his fucking whore,”

“So, why is he always at the brothel by the docks?” he pressed.

“We met when we were kids. Your dad used to visit the brothel with him,” you shrugged. “I never understood why your father took him there all the time. It’s a dangerous place,”

“Why were you there?”

“My mother worked there. I was born there. I grew up there,” you shrugged. “Tommy was my only friend growing up. Your father stopped coming but Tommy still managed to show up,”

“I see,” Arthur replied. “You’re the girl who gave him toy horses when we were kids, then. He never let us touch them. Even now, he has them lined up on his wall,”

“Yeah, I was. I gave it to him a week after my mother died,” you recalled.

“I’m sorry for calling you his whore,” John said. He realised now that your relationship with Tommy was deeper. It was more meaningful than he realised.

“It’s okay,” you let out a small smile. “It’s a fair assumption,”

Minutes of silence passed by, and your group stopped in Watery Lane. You’ve never been in his house before; you never had the time to do so. You were also quite ashamed to show yourself. How could you prove that you weren’t after Tommy’s money if that's exactly what you are after men?

The door of the house opens, and you assume it was Polly. The same woman who you talked to on the telephone before.

“He’s in his room upstairs. Last door to the left,” she said.

“Thank you,” you rushed to where Tommy was. You didn’t bother to stay and eavesdrop. You were there for Tommy. You knocked on his door slightly.

“Stay the fuck away from my door or I will kill you,” he shouted. You cracked the door open slightly.

“It’s me, Tom,” you said. He rose from his bed and rushed towards you, flinging his arms around you. He pulled you closer. “Hi,”

“She’s dead,” he murmurs against your hair. “My mum’s dead. My dad left. I didn’t even like him, you know? He always hit the three of us. I thought it would be better if he just fucking left but my mum died because he left. Now, I don’t have her.”

“I’m so sorry, Tommy,” you said. You knew he was still struggling after his father left many months ago. He was shaking in your arms, trying to grasp you tightly. Trying to be closer. “I’m so sorry,”

“I…I don’t know what to do,” he said. “You never got to meet her. She’d love you; you know?”

“That makes us even,” you saw a small smile on his lips. “I’m here now, Tom. You could rest,”

“You’ll still be here when I wake up?” he asked meekly, like a child.

“I’ll be here,” you nod, caressing his cheek softly. He nods, yawning after he evened out his breathing.

“Shit, love. I’m so tired,” he yawned again. “Let’s both go to sleep. We deserve it. I’ll see you when I’m awake?” he asked, adjusting your position on his small bed.

“I’ll see you,” you confirmed, snuggling closer to him.

“Tommy’s playing a dangerous game,” Polly commented from downstairs. It has been met with no resistance.

BIRMINGHAM, 1914

“Good afternoon, Pol,” you smiled. You were invited for Sunday dinner, and you decided to bring cake from the bakery that Tommy liked. You’ve only met them last year, but you’ve become such an integral part of their family that people knew you were closely associated with them. Even Simon.

“Oh, you didn’t have to bring cake,” she said. “We’d rather you spend it somewhere,”

“It’s alright,” you said. “I wanted to do something nice,”

“Keeping Tommy levelheaded is nice enough. Seriously, what did you do?” Ada asked, chopping the vegetables. She was reluctant at first but now, she couldn’t go a week without ranting to you. Girls’ night is what she called them.

“I don’t know,” you chuckled. “May I help?”

“If you could kindly chop the carrots, please,” Polly said. You set yourself and rolled your sleeves, peeling the carrots first. “Tommy and the boys went out for a while. They said it was some business with the Blinders. While they’re out, how are you?”

“Oh,” you nodded. “Me?”

“Of course. Ada has been talking my ear off about some guy she’s so secretive about,” she scoffed.

“I’ve been working less,” you confessed. “I’m helping out on the counter. Helping Big Johnny with the money and the accounts. I work a few times a week now. Simon’s been frequenting the brothel and well, you know what Simon does. It helps that he doesn’t stay long. The brothel pays me for my assistance. I can buy you cake every week now,”

“Don’t do that. Finn will be spoiled rotten,” Ada says. “Besides, you deserve nice things for yourself, you know,”

“I know but I can’t help it,” you said with a soft smile. “I like doing nice things for you,”

The boys soon come through the door, spilling with laughter. Tommy makes a beeline towards you as soon as he spots you.

“How was the afternoon?” you asked, bumping your hips with him.

“It was good,” he said. “Finn got into a fight with some kids, and we had to deal with it.”

“Is Finn okay? I brought cake.”

“Just a bruised ego,” he chuckled. My favourite?”

“Of course,” you said. “But let’s pretend that it’s for Finn, alright?”

“It’s always for Finn,” he groans. “He has you wrapped around his finger,”

“He does. He’s such a charming kid,” you praised. “Where is he, anyway?”

“Taking a bath before dinner. You have me for now,” Tommy said. “Can I sleep at your house later?” he asks in a softer tone. He’s been sleeping at your place ever since last year. He said you make him sleep better.

“You know it’s never a problem,” you said. His presence made you feel safe. He made you feel secure. “Will we leave together?”

“Yes. I’d like to sleep as soon as possible,” he says, dropping his forhead on your shoulder. You only chuckled. “I’m so tired. So, so tired,”

“Who are they fooling?” Ada asked in whispers. “Are we sure they’re best mates?”

“They’ve insisted on it for years,” Arthur shrugged. “I don’t think they’re aware,”

“I don’t think so either,” John says. “But Tommy throws a fit whenever she has to meet that Simon prick. Calls him a rich bastard.”

“He is a rich bastard,” Ada nodded. “She says he just came into his inheritance. Ammunitions,”

“Shit. She hit the jackpot, then,” John commented. “Wonder how that’s gonna go?”

“There’s nothing to wonder, John,” Arthur says. John could only nod his head.

You stumbled inside your house around half past midnight. You were both quite tipsy, having drank Pol’s stocks of wine. The Shelby Company Ltd. has been gaining more popularity now, along with the Blinders. Hell, Tommy even posted two Blinders to guard you. “For when I’m not around,” he said.

“Pol’s going to kill me for giving Finn too much cake,” you giggled, leaning on him.

“I reckon you’re banned from Sunday dinners,” Tommy jokes, taking his shoes off. He takes note of how you’re dressed today. “You know you can remove all the fucking things on your body right? Rouge…the jewels. Where’d you get them? Is the rich bastard buttering you up?”

“I like it. Dressing up makes me happy,” you frowned. “I’m allowed to like nice things, right?”

“Right,” his jaw ticked. It should be him who's giving you these gifts…showing you a lavish life. He hated it. “Later?”

“Later,” you nodded. “When I’m banned from Sunday dinners, you wouldn’t let me be left out, right?”

“‘Course not,” he shrugged, pulling you to your bedroom like he owned the place. You didn’t mind. You were happy to see that he was comfortable in your home. “You’re my best girl.”

“That’s what you say to your horses,”

“You’ve got really good horse sense and you’re always on your high horse,” he says, peeling his coat away. He was rummaging in your chest now, looking for clothes he might have left until he settled on a simple white shirt and pyjama pants.

“Yeah, yeah. You and your horse wordplay.” You entered the bathroom to dress down. Just like Tommy, you settled in his shirt and pants. They were more comfortable than singlets and you certainly didn’t want to make Tommy uncomfortable.

He was already waiting for you on the bed when you came back. He pats the space beside him. You obliged. You were looking into each other’s eyes with small smiles, Tommy’s finger trailing down your arm absentmindedly.

“I…” words died in his throat before he could get them out. “I…”

“What is it, Tom? Are you okay?”

“I’ll get you out of here,” he rasps. “I’ll get you out of there and I won’t let you work a day in your life anymore.”

“Tommy,” you sighed. “I can’t—can’t leave this job. It’s all I have,” He tightens his arms around you, afraid that you’ll ask him to let go.

“I know but once I come back from the war—“

“The war?” you asked, removing his arms around you. “War?”

“We enlisted,” he clarifies, trying to gauge your reaction. “Once I come back, I’ll be so fucking rich. I’ll have you. I’ll keep you and you won’t have to lift a finger. We’ll live in a mansion and have servants. Just like what we used to talk about,”

“Tommy, you’re going to war?” you asked, standing from the bed. His eyes watched you settle down shakily on the single chair by the bed. “Fuck. You’re going to war. You’re going to leave me,”

“No, love. Come on, I—“ he grunts, sitting up from his relaxed position.

“It’s war, Tommy! They change people…I don’t want to lose you; do you not get that? Are you not happy here? Is that why you're throwing your life away?”

“I’m not throwing my life away,” he says, a frown. “We’ll be drafted one way or another because we’re poor. Might as well do it now than be forced. Some of my men will still watch over you every now and then. They’ll still make sure that you’re safe. We’ll send letters. Alright?”

“Letters,” you scoffed. “And what if the letters stopped coming?”

“Don’t say that, please,” he begs. “I’m doing this for all of us. The business will be handled by Polly and when I’m back, I’ll make it even bigger. Alright? You have to trust me,” You didn’t even want to ask about the business. You didn’t want to ask why more men wore peaky caps. You didn’t want to ask what the Shelby Company Ltd. really was. Not now.

“I know you will, Tom,” you said. “But I’m scared. For the first time since I’ve known you, you won’t be here. I’m scared,”

Tommy lays his hand on your shoulder. Words he couldn’t say lingered in the air. I’ll marry you once I step foot in England. He didn’t know what else to say; didn’t know if there was still something to say. So, he kneels before you and makes you look at him. You were crying. So afraid, so alone.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“When will you be leaving?”

“I have two more days,” he says. “Will I still see you?”

“Yes, of course,” you said. “You’ll come back for me?”

“Of course. I have a picture of you already in my pocket. I have to make sure to come back to you,” he said. “and everyone else, of course.”

He fishes a necklace from his pocket, his mother’s locket.

“Here,” he said, showing it to you. It was one of the last pieces of jewellery she owned. “Mum gave it to me. You know I’ve always worn it. I want you to wear it now. Think of it as a loan, yeah? You’ll give it back once we see each other again,”

“Tommy, I—“

“I want you to accept it. I want you to see you wear it now. I want to see you wear it before I leave. But most of all I want for us to stay the same,” he says, holding you and kissing your hair softly. You couldn’t push him away. You’ve longed for this your whole life. To be held, to feel loved. It’s all you’ve ever wanted.

“I’m sorry. So, so, so fucking sorry.”

“I don’t think you’re wasting your life away,” you cleared your throat. “I’m so—I’m so proud of you and your bravery. I’m so proud of you but I can’t be fucking happy for you. I don’t want to wake up every day knowing that you’re not here. I don’t want to have to guess if you were alive or not.”

“I am,” he promises. “I’ll be alive. I’ll come back as your Tommy. Just…wait for me, alright?”

You clung onto Tommy two days later by the train. He whispered that he would come back. He said that he will make sure of it. He breathes in the smell of your hair—roses. He envelopes you in his arms once more and turns to leave, never looking back. You knew, in your hysterics, that if he comes back from the war, the same old Tommy you used to know would never be.

PART 2 PART 3

TAGLIST: @shelbydelrey @runnning-outof-time @duckybird101 @thenattitude @swordofawriter @litteltourtius @trixie23 @everythingelseisextra

#tommy shelby x reader #thomas shellby x reader #tommy shelby #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders #hurt/comfort #tommy shelby angst #thomas shelby angst #cillian murphy

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snghnlvr · 5 months

Text

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠. / sim jaeyun

sim jaeyun x fem reader!

read part two here <3

synopsis : who knew there was something behind your relationship with the infamous smart guy at school? you had questions as to why jake likes you and chose you to be his girlfriend out of all people. soon, you found out the truth: by a bet.

extra: olivia rodrigo is my mom , if i was y/n i would’ve slapped the shit out of jake but let’s not get too physical here eh?? :] , i haven’t seen much jake angst (because he’s the most loving human ever??? he would NEVER ever do something like this) so here i am… :D

likes, comments, and reposts are very much appreciated <3

[below the cut]

“thanks for making me get $100, babe”

you look up from your seat to see your boyfriend, jake holding a $100 bill between his index and middle fingers. he sent you a wink which already made you blush like crazy but then you slowly processed the words.

what?

“what?” your expression dropped. you looked at jake, waiting for a response for what he meant.

“i said,” he planted his two hands in front of his desk, staring down at you with his beautiful eyes of his. you stared back with nothing but confusion in your eyes.

“thanks for letting me have $100 sweet cheeks.” jake’s lips curved up. he slowly leaned towards your cheeks, pecking them before proudly looking down at his cash.

that little nickname he gave you made your hearts do back flips as usual.

you stood still before replying, “what do you mean? you used me?”

you’ve liked jake ever since he was in the school’s soccer team since sophomore year. he’s popular for his smartness, his godly visuals, his amazing personality of his that steals the hearts of girls, and his talents.

your introverted personality of yours didn’t dare to make a move on jake. you were undoubtedly shy and didn’t like social interaction very much. all of the girls were in line to ask him out and directly confess their love to him, but you didn’t. you weren’t in line, you were just observing him from the side, mentally noting what he likes, didn’t like, what topics he likes to talk about and many more.

the only proof that you like him was through a little post it note you had on your desk before leaving to go to cafeteria.

sim jaeyun <3

was all you’ve written in pink in your yellow post it note. you haven’t told anyone, even your closest friend for you would be afraid of the public teasing that would soon eventually let the whole school know you like jake.

five months, he suddenly asked you out because he thought you were the “most beautiful girl i had ever laid eyes on but was scared to make a move”, quoted by sim jake himself.

at first you didn’t question it as to why he randomly asked you out.

you remember that day, you were blushing like crazy, heart almost ripping out of your rib cage, and you had all sorts of scenarios and activities both you and jake can do because both of you are in a relationship.

well, were in a relationship.

“yeah.” your thoughts were interrupted when jake responded with a heartless tone. “i admit that you were cute when you bought me gifts, but either than that,

i’ve never liked you.” his tone was monotonous.

is that why i reminded him of my birthday? is that why i reminded him of our monthsavrie? when my classes end? is that why i was the first to everything? good morning texts?

thinking about your past memories where you felt the most happy with jake,

was all just an act. just for the damn $100 dollars.

jake being the first one to hold your hand whenever both of you met, even if it’s a minute in the hallways or meeting after school ended, him being the first to notice you shivering and toss you his hoodie even if he was cold, him volunteering to help you study your subjects even if it’s 2am, him wiping your lips with his soft fingers from eating ice cream, him listening to your rants and sobs whenever your parents fight late at night, and always looking at you with nothing but love and admiration you believed,

all an act?

you lowered your head, trying to contain your proper breathing and trying not let your tears fall down. you exhaled, closing your eyes.

“who asked you?”

jake’s face slightly clenched when seeing your eyes filled with rage yet tears threatening to spill out. “who asked you for the bet?” you asked once again but with a firm tone. you didn’t break eye contact. you were thinking of his friends he always hung out with, park sunghoon, yang jungwon, lee heeseung, and many more but you felt like these people - your best friends as well - would never hurt you like that.

instead of being sad and running away, you’re staring at your ex boyfriend with bitterness. the loving stare you’ve had towards jake was rather replaced as if he’s your enemy. yeah, you’ve been backstabbed.

“does it matter?” jake tilted his head, shrugging it off. “what matters is i got my money.” he flicked his bill right in front of your face, his tongue peaking when he mockingly smiled at you.

you glanced at the dollar and then back at jake.

“did i mean nothing to you?” you asked, your thoughts suddenly spilling from your lips. “was our relationship nothing to you?” a tear spilled out of your eyes. seconds later, multiple of them were easily sliding down your cheeks.

you stood up from your seat, looking directly into jake’s emotionless eyes. “did you have fun playing with my feelings? did you enjoy taking my likeness towards you as an advantage? were your friends having fun hyping us up whenever we were around them? did you at least have some fucking sympathy for me!?”

after screaming, you looked down. you were going crazy. literally.

“god, y/n calm down. you’re embarrassing me, lower your volume.” jake crinkled his nose, eyes wandering around to see if there was anyone near the both of you.

despite not looking at him, you can hear the annoyance in his tone and the rolling of his eyes whenever you guys argue. he would call you “overdramatic.”

“fine.” you gulped before looking at him. you imagined yourself as a crying mess. it’s like every argument you had, jake would not cry, but you were.

you had to contain yourself to not let your emotions overwhelm you, but it’s hard right now.

you just got used for money.

“i hope that $100 dollar bill reminds you how much of a shitty person you are.” you grabbed your book bag and ran for your life.

out of that suffocating room.

i can’t believe it, you thought.

he’s a bitch he’s a bitch why is he a bitch!? why did he choose me!? why did he hurt me? i did nothing but .. love him and be there for him.. what did i do to get treated like this??

your chest hurts like shit, you can’t breathe, you can’t think properly, all you wanna do is to hide forever and never face jake the following monday at school. you wanted to go anywhere. anywhere but be in a room with him, sim jaeyun.

god, love is fucking embarrassing as hell.

YEAHHH jake angst drabble🕺 idk how to feel this one as i can’t imagine jake doing such a thing :(( but we need a change don’t we ? i hope you enjoyed it!! thank you for reading!! ❣️

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iateyourparents · 5 months

Text

fOoL fOr YoU | c.b.

pairing: colby brock x singer!fem!reader

summary: fate has its own ways to connect people who are destined to each other, even after breaking them apart at some point in life.

warnings: kinda short, use of y/n, bad writing and grammar(i’m sorry but english is not my first language)

an: songs used here are fOoL fOr YoU by ZAYN, My stupid heart by Walk off the Earth. Album used in here - Lover by Taylor Swift.

pictures are from pinterest:)

“Come on guys, let me hear you! I know you like this one!” you said to microphone before continuing the song “Cause I’m a fool for you and the things, the things you do…”

You heard crowd clearly and loudly singing with you your debutant song and you couldn’t feel more proud.

Even though since realese of this song you made two whole albums it still was most of your fans’ favorite song, and to be honest, it was yours too.

It was song about your teenage love, how you felt about that one boy that you aren’t even in touch anymore. You wrote fOoL fOr YoU while you still were a lovesick teenager but before you were able to present it to your former muse from these times, you were broken up.

Then, years later you met that amazing man, Charles, who took you under his wings becoming your manager and helped you with realesing your debutant single - fOoL fOr YoU.

And that’s how you became pretty famous and now, here you were playing all around the world for your “we’ll never be the same again” world tour, promoting your newest album.

“Alright, that was so good! Thank you!” you took a break to take a sip of water and then you were back in front of the chanting crowd “Okay, so I wrote this one about my ex who was absolutely awful experience but also taught me a lot.”

You could hear loud screams from a crowd which already knew what song you were about to sing so you just laughed and started singing, crowd following also started shouting lyrics.

“My stupid heart don’t know, I’ve tried to let you go so many times before…”

After few more songs you bided your goodbye to the crowd promising you will be back someday and you got off the stage and met Charles on backstage.

„How was it?” you asked with smile, sipping water.

„That was great!” you could say he was proud „And you were worried you wouldn’t be able to play on arenas.”

„That’s a big step!” you defended yourself with smile „I can’t wait to take a shower, I stink.” you grimaced.

„I won’t disagree.” he laughed and hugged you „Go relax a little before we have to go to tourbus.”

„You too Charlie, I know that you are secretly almost ripping off your hair.”

Now you were supposed to head to Los Angeles where you would play two concerts and then you would have a month long break before starting last part of the tour - Europe.

|||

You were currently sitting at the vanity in your changing room. Your make up artist, Sarah, was doing your make up for your last performance before a break when Charles came into the room.

„Hi” he started.

„Hi Charlie, what’s up?” you could tell he had some offer for you.

„What do you say, you, me and your band go to some club after you come off the stage to celebrate successful tour?”

You looked at him in the mirror and smirked at him.

„Sounds great to me.”

|||

You and your crew sat in some club. You weren’t drunk but it felt good to feel more easy with alcohol in your system after stressful couple of weeks.

„My forever favorite moment is when this one fan threw his boxers on scene and they landed perfectly in front of y/n. Her face was priceless.” Mark, the drummer, laughed. You loved talking about memories from the tour but that memory actually was traumatizing since it was the first time ever when something like this happened.

„I felt attacked.” you joked and took a last sip of your sweet drink „I’ll go order next one. Somebody wants something?”

You heard chorus of no’s and assurances that they have almost full glasses so you just walked towards the counter and waited for a bartender to end taking someone else’s order.

„Your concert was awesome.” you heard next to you. When you turned to the side you saw someone you thought you would never see again in person.

Infamous ghost hunter, your ex and an old muse of yours.

Cole Brock.

Or rather, Colby.

„Thank you” you smiled „Fancy seeing you here.”

„I live in LA.” he explained „I liked this one song, what was it? Fool for you?”

You smirked and shook your head „Yeah, I like it too.”

„So, was I good muse?” he winked and you laughed. Of course he would know it was about him. You’re pretty sure that when you were together you were sometimes telling him parts of this song.

„Excellent, thank you.”

„I’m always happy to help, so if you will need some new music, here’s my number.” he handed you a piece of paper with some numbers.

„I’ll make sure to call if i’ll need anything.” you winked at him and he laughed.

„I hope so.” he looked behind his back where a blonde boy, Sam, called him „I have to go but i’ll be waiting for your call.”

|||

If some days later you actually called Colby, nobody have to know. And if that meeting ended with him tangled in your sheets, also nobody have to know. And if this was more than one time occurrence then also nobody have to know.

And if your next album called ’Lover’ was about him and everyone knew it was about him, then it’s okay.

And if you both tattooed ’fOoL fOr YoU’ on your hips on the day of your wedding, then it’s great even if everybody knows.

You two really were like lovesick fools.

#colby brock x reader #colby #colby brock #sam and colby #snc #music #katrina stuart #sam golbach

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temper-temper · 3 months

Note

How have you been lately?

Put this off a bit to answer because I’ve been thinking a lot over the last year and well Last year today was the day I was rushed to the ER because my heart went into SVT due to extreme stress and Covid.

This past year has been full of amazing blessing: I got in a relationship with, proposed to, and married my best friend; I got to travel and meet some friends irl that I met online, got to visit some warships, aircraft, and submarines; got so many amazing gifts and met so many amazing people! But a lot of not so good things happened this year too. For the first time ever I actually contemplated suicide after a lot of past trauma resurfaced. I came many realizations about how unhealthy a lot of my past relationships had been and I’ve been struggling to see things as they are- I keep looking through a lens of trauma and fear and it’s been really getting to me in how I see myself and my relationships. I keep thinking that my friends aren’t my friends anymore and hate me. I keep putting blame on myself because it’s easier to feel guilty than to come to terms with how people have hurt me. I was even officially diagnosed with PTSD!

Though I wouldn’t change anything about this past year it has been an uphill battle for the latter end of it and I’ve been struggling to regain my footing. I’m grateful for so many good experiences and things are looking up with treatment for a lot of this past stuff but it doesn’t mean that I’m doing well. I’m hopeful but not well.

With all that being said however I will be taking a break from tumblr, I may still check it but I’m not going to be active for a little while. I love tumblr, the community, and friends I’ve made since I rejoined the mlp ask blog community here but there is also a lot of memories here that I need to work though as well.

Thank you guys for everything and see you again soon!

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kydrogendragon · 4 months

Text

Dec 18 - Mistletoe

(Ao3 Link) (Masterpost Link)

A fire crackles in the fireplace of The White Horse. Hob can hear the sound of the other patrons around, ribbing each other, cheering and hollering, but when he turns, there is no one there. He’s alone. And he’s not. And isn’t that a metaphor for Hob’s whole life?

He drinks some nondescript ale from a tankard that looks more fitting in the 1400’s than… What year is it now? He looks around and recognizes the decor and styling of the White Horse back from her years in the 19th century. And yet, as he looks down at himself, he’s wearing that same outfit he’d worn waiting here all day back in 1989.

Ah… He’s dreaming, then.

He hasn’t had a dream since… God. Since the Great War? World War One as it’s referred to, now. It’ll still be the Great War in his mind, he thinks. Odd, though, that he’s having a dream now. Maybe the shell shock finally wore off and the trauma from it all let his mind finally rest enough to think of a dream.

It’s a bit of a cruel dream, though, isn’t it? Hob takes another sip. Guess that’s what dreams are good for though, aren’t they? Being cruel. Or to teach you some sort of lesson. Hob knows what this lesson is. A reminder to himself that lives are short and no matter how many of them he lives, it’ll still just be him, alone, at the end of the day. Maybe not even with his Stranger, now.

God’s Wounds, his Stranger. He should have never pushed at their last meeting. Sure, he could have phrased things better, told him that he was lonely to start. It had never been an accusation or a judgment - and he’s afraid that’s just what his Stranger thought. No, no it was simply an open hand, an invitation, in case he’d correctly seen his own loneliness reflected in his Stranger’s eyes. Given that he never showed up last year, though, Hob’s starting to think he’s just been imagining things.

Maybe he truly did lose him, his one constant in this long life of his. And now he’s just here, alone in a pub, drinking by himself, surrounded by a faceless crowd.

If he could just… explain, maybe. If he could just-

His Stranger is there. He sits across from him in an odd black robe, floating in a non-existent breeze. His skin is paler than usual, his eyes and face looking more gaunt than many men Hob had seen when he’d lived on the streets. It is a paltry imitation of his Stranger, a nightmare wearing his face, that graces the other side of the table.

Hob smiles.

“Just thinking about you, you know,” he says, watching the dream of his Stranger’s eyes widen. His eyes were so blue. Had they always been so blue? “You’re a bit late. Get your calendar flipped around, did you?”

His Stranger does not speak. Hob did not expect him to. He rarely offered words in their previous meetings in the real world. Why would this dream, this distorted memory, be any different?

“I waited for you that whole day. Kept thinking you were just trying to sweat me out and that you’d show up right there at the last minute and everything would be good.” He glides his finger across the rim of his now glass mug as he speaks. “Then the clock ticked over and you weren’t there.”

His Stranger leans forward, his eyes still wide and almost… pleading?

“I missed you… Even if you’d probably storm out on me for saying it. Doesn’t matter if you don’t see me as a friend, doesn’t matter if you never will. You’re my friend. You’ll always be my friend. Whether you like it or not.

“Besides, I’ve had many nights that I’ve laid awake trying to figure out how I should have said it all back at the last time we met. I would have told you that the one thing I’ve realized over my long life is that, as wonderful as every part of it is, as amazing as all the glorious people I get to meet, get to know… it’s still lonely. It’s lonely because no one can ever know the real you, the whole of you. No one stays around forever. There’s no family to fall back to, no growing old together with the ones you love. It’s all temporary. And that is part of the beauty, it’s what gives it all meaning, but it doesn’t take away from the hurt of it.

“But then there’s us. Or others like us. I’ve met a few since then. Never stayed with them long. They had their own ways, their own lives. Never a true constant. But you were to me. You were a constant that I wouldn’t have otherwise. And so I thought, maybe, that’s what you were after all those centuries ago: a constant. And I’d be glad to be it for you, just like you are for me. Because if you’re just as lonely as I am, I’d want to help relieve it if I could.”

Hob sniffs, lifting the glass to his lips, draining the rest of the ale. “Anyways… That’s what I should have said, back then.”

His Stranger is… is crying, he thinks. There’s no sound, no real motion, either, but small translucent trails run down his cheeks from his eyes. He’s never seen his Stranger cry before. He looked close when he’d ran him off back in 1889. Hob feels like he ought to look away. He doesn’t, though. No, instead, he stares right ahead as he continues to let the words he’d held deep in his core come stumbling out.

“D’you know, it’s Christmas time here. Ten years until the next turn of the century. It’s a big one. The 2000s! Never thought I’d live to see it and yet, here I am. Would have loved to have shared it with you. Would have loved to share a great many things with you.

“We never did need to only meet once every hundred years, you know. I would have gladly welcomed you anytime you wanted to drop by. Unless it’s a thing where you physically can’t come to Earth or something. Never did figure out what you were. Not human, knew that much. Maybe that’s why you were late? Held up by cosmic traffic or some nonsense.

“You’d have loved the Internet, I think. Could have shown you the wonders of email and cell phones. Could have taken you to a film, even. Bet you’d have liked a film. Popcorn and all.”

Hob laughs to himself, fiddling with the no longer empty glass in his hands. “You know, I even bought that overpriced Porsche to meet up with you because the salesman assured me it would win over anyone that saw it. Course I’m pretty sure he thought I was trying to woo the ladies with it. Would have tried to woo you, though. If you’d have let me.”

It’s at that statement that his Stranger jolts back in his seat, face contorted into an expression Hob’s not entirely sure is pain, anger, or just straight up shock.

“Would you have wanted me to woo you, old Stranger? Is that what I’ve been doing wrong all these years? I’d been trying to be a friend when I should have been courting you? Maybe that’s why you lost interest in me for that Shaxberd. It was right after I’d told you of my wife and child, after all.”

The table between them is no longer there. It had never been there. Hob looks up to see a sprig of mistletoe sprouting from the ceiling between the pair of them. He smiles.

“Well, mistletoe. Y’know, they say it’s bad luck to not kiss under there. I’d hate to give either of us that curse.”

He caresses his Stranger’s cheek, watching those ocean blue eyes flutter close as he leans into the touch. Hob leans forward.

His lips are cold. Most of him was cold, in fact. A dream, Hob’s brain reminds him. This is just a dream. But his lips are mind-numbingly soft, though. And still so rosy, despite their icy feel. His Stranger’s hand lifts from his lap and curls tightly into the thin white shirt under Hob’s blazer. He pulls him close and Hob goes willingly. They part, just barely, before his Stranger pulls him back in, slotting his mouth against the demanding force. Hob’s own lips are pushed open as a strikingly warm tongue curls into his mouth. His eyes fall closed, savoring the taste and feel of his Stranger like this.

Hob’s eyes open to reveal the white of his ceiling, slightly yellowed by the morning sun. He sighs and rubs the sleep from his eyes. Wisps of memories flash in his mind. The White Horse… his Stranger… soft lips and blue eyes…

Christ, he’s hard. He turns to face his alarm. Well, he’s still got some time before he actually has to get up and get moving. Hob snakes his hand under his boxers and wraps a hand around himself with a hiss. A morning orgasm always made for a good start to a Monday after all.

Miles away, in the basement of Fawney Rig, Dream sits, still encased in his cage of glass and iron. He feels colder than he has in years. He closes his eyes and fights the tears that threaten to fall as the memory of Hob Gadling’s words plays on repeat in his mind and the ghost of his lips and his touch haunt his skin.

#dreamling #hob gadling #dream of the endless #ky writes #the sandman #december writing list #kydrogen's december drabbles 2023

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http-byler · 6 months

Text

INDEFINITE HIATUS

in light of the past couple weeks, I will be going on an indefinite hiatus. I no longer feel comfortable supporting stranger things when so many people behind the show loudly and callously display their support for genocide. it’s quite frankly, disgusting, and so this blog will be taking a break. for how long? I’m not sure. possibly forever.

honestly, I had so much fun running this blog. I met so many amazing people, made so much art, and participated in so many fandom lead projects. those are the memories I’d like to keep with me and I’d like to hold them in a positive light. the best way I can see myself doing that is to step away from this blog and ST as a whole.

after this post, I will post my obligated art work for the byler big bang (all posted by Dec. 1st) and that will be all. I will keep everything up as a sort of time capsule of this time in my life (and on the slim chance I come back). I can’t thank you all enough for being so amazing and kind to me in the past year and a half that I’ve had this blog. I still do, and always will, have love for the characters in the show as well as the story, but I think it’s time to leave this all behind.

this side blog is by far my most popular one, so if for some reason, you want to see more of me online, here are my other blogs that you might want to follow!

my main blog: @http-tigerteef

my NBC Hannibal blog: @http-hnigrm

my It (2017-2019) blog: @http-reddie

my Good Omens blog: @http-aziracrow

my Saw franchise blog: @http-sawposting

#this is so bittersweet #I will miss this blog and the goofy shit in the tags #but maintaining this blog with the weight of what’s going on #it’s too much #farewell all!#this is http-byler signing off #elijah speaks #byler #stranger things

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yelenasdiary · 2 years

Note

flo x reader halloween request where they are at a halloween party. maybe with other celebs and they are both dressed up(idk as who) but anyways just fluff maybe a little jealousy and if your comfortable smut?

Eyes Only For You || Flufftober

Pairing: Florence Pugh x Reader

Summary: A little jealously at a party brings you and Florence closer

Fluff | Slight Angst | 1.1K | Typical Partying Content Warning |

AC: I hate how in Australia we don’t celebrate Halloween as much as everybody else! I’ve always wanted to go trick or treating and dress up, even just go to a damn Halloween party but I’ve never been invited to any, so I’ll just live through Halloween with fanfics lmao! I didn’t include smut because I only do smut for characters as I’m not exactly comfortable with smut for the actor / actress. I hope you enjoy this! X

Flufftober Masterlist

The room was packed with many people, people you recognised and some you didn’t. Florence and you had been invited to a Halloween party for a charity event to help raise money to those in need. There were so many great costumes and people just having an overall good time. The music was loud enough to drain out conversation causing people to practically hell in conversation, there was an open bar with what seemed like an endless supply of alcohol.

Florence’s love language was touch so it wasn’t unusual to find her with her arms wrapped around your waist or a hand on your lower back or on your hips, but you never thought it would bother others. Some of the guests were influencers, other celebrities and you never knew how but there were fans of many people here. They somehow manged to get exclusive access to the event. It sometimes worried you not knowing what others intentions were. The whole world knew about you and Florence and for the most part it you both received endless love and support from friends, family, and her fans but sometimes that wasn’t the case.

You squeezed Florence’s hand lightly as she catches up with co-star and friend, Timothée Chalamet. You did this whenever you start to feel uncomfortable, or your anxiety was playing up. Florence looked at you and smiled softly, “Are you okay?” she asked as Timothée took a sip of his drink. You nodded but your eyes drifted to the small circle of girls that kept looking over to the three of you and whispering amongst themselves. Florence’s eyes look over to them and she threw them a friendly smile before looking back at you, “don’t worry about them darling, you look amazing” she kissed your cheek softly.

“I’m loving the costumes! Whose idea was that?” Timothée smiled. Florence and you had decided to try and dress up as something different, something that people wouldn’t exactly expect from the pair of you. You both settled on going as “Xena Warrior Princess and Gabrielle”. Florence absolutely rocking the outfit of Xena that blew your mind. The conversation wasn’t long lasting as Florence was swept away for some press, you tried to keep track of her but eventually lost her within the crowd of the party.

You found yourself talking with Hailee, Zendaya and a few other friendly faces you knew. Sipping your drink through a straw to prevent from being spiked, a fear you’ve always had. You were enjoying the small talk with the others and sharing memories from other events you have met at before you felt arms wrap around your waist making you feel at once again.

“Sorry about that, I just need to do some things” Florence kissed your cheek once again. “You don’t have to apologise; we are having a great time over here” you smiled. The conversation picked up again as you all discussed different costumes, horror movies and drinks to give a try. Florence got you a refill and have her free arm draped around your hips as you stood close to her. Photos were taken and you forgot about the girls from before.

“Excuse me, Florence?” a voice made you both turn around, a fan you thought and gave them a smile. “Hi there, how are you?” Florence being her loving herself greeted them with smiles and hugs before they asked for selfies which she happily took. Florence didn’t pick up on it, but you could clearly see by the way one of the girls couldn’t keep her hands off Florence’s arm and the glares she sent your way that she was flirting. You ignored it knowing Florence and you had nothing to worry about, but you couldn’t ignore how uncomfortable it started to make you feel.

“You should so come into my work one day! I made the best tea!” the girl boosted her skills, “or maybe we could grab a tea date one day” she added. Florence smiled softly, “that sounds lovely, maybe I will come down to the café one day just depends on if I’m ever down that way” she replied.

“Oh of course! I’d love to show you around my town, we have the cutest little clothing stores, and you’d love the handmade jewellery!” she says as she gently grabs Florence’s wrist to look at the bracelet she was wearing. “This is so cute! I have to know where you got it” she spoke. Florence just smiled softly once more, “actually, Y/n got it for me. So, you’d have to ask them” she replies. The girl looked at you in an almost disgusted look, “Oh” she mumbled, “W-where did you get it?” she asked in a lowered tone.

“I had it made” you replied sternly, Florence looked at you and saw how uncomfortable you were as your eyes didn’t stay on the girl for very long. “Well, it’s pretty but trust me, the handmade stuff in my town is to die for!” she grabbed Florence’s attention and making you shake your head slightly and walk off to the bar. You’d gotten Florence the gold bracelet for your 1-year anniversary, and she’s never taken it off, only when she’s in the shower, washing dishes or she has to wear certain jewellery for an event. The way the younger girl tried to fake her interest in Florence’s taste was making your blood boil.

The bartender replaced your drink with a fresh one as you watched Florence try to escape the girls as friendly as she could. She made her way to you and placed her empty glass on the bar. “Honey are you okay?” she asked knowing you weren’t. “Yeah, I just…I just didn’t like how flirtatious she was. I’m sorry, you know I’m not usually the jealous type, but I didn’t like the way she brushed off the bracelet and tried to convince you something else was better” you admitted.

“Oh darling” Florence placed her hands on your hips and pulled you closer to her, “I think it’s cute when you get jealous, but you know I’m yours and you are mine” she smiled softly while looking into your eyes, “and I’m glad she didn’t really like my bracelet because that showed me her taste wasn’t the best” she chuckled finally getting a smile from you, “there’s that beautiful smile I love” Florence commented before kissing you tenderly. “I’m sorry again” you said with a pout.

“Don’t be sorry my love, you are allowed to get jealous and uncomfortable. Do you know how many times I’ve gotten jealous when somebody drags you away from me?”

“You get jealous?” you playfully cocked a brow. “Of course, I do, you’re mine” she smiled and kissed you once more, “now take me to the dance floor and so I can show everybody I only have eyes for you” she adds after the kiss.

“Yes, Princess. As you wish” you smiled and gently took her hand, giving it a kiss on the top before leading her to the dance floor.

#florence pugh #florence pugh x reader #fanfiction #flufftober

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hopelessdelusional · 11 months

Text

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“So yeah, that’s what I would like to do for this shoot! Any questions?”

You sat in the conference room that was just down the hall from the shoot with the all the workers for Bakugou’s shoot. Three nights ago, You and Hitoshi stayed up until 3AM discussing literally every single detail of the shoot. You had made not only a pamphlet that went along with the presentation but a whole slide show that explained why you decided on everything. Toshi said it was overkill, and you said it wasn’t enough.

You stood there as they talked amongst themselves and tried to avoid Bakugou’s piercing gaze as you stood nervously picking at you button up. You didn’t have to dress as professionally for the first time you came here because it was only a test run, so you were able to get away with jeans and tennis shoes. However for this meeting you had to wear dress pants that felt a little more tight than the last time you wore them along with a classic white button up and your favorite black heals.

“If that’s something you don’t like however I do have a whole binder full of ideas that we could start with but of course it would take a day or two to come up with more elaborate ideas-“

“It’s more than enough Miss l/n, in fact we can’t think of a single reason as to why we wouldn’t want to do this. Right Bakugou?”

Everyone in the room turned to him, forcing you to do the same. It was like torture! Every glance of him brought back more memories of that hour and a half worth of the messiest make out session you’ve ever experienced. How can so many things happen in only an hour and a half?! Maybe it’s just his charm, maybe that’s his secret. He’s a hell of an awful kisser but so much can happen in such a short amount of time. Maybe that’s just his whole gist in general! There was so much to learn about this man, and you hated that fact that you wanted to know everything.

“Yeah, I like it.”

Everyone in the room cheered as you and Bakugou maintained eye contact. You smiled at him, trying to be polite but that only ended in him bashfully turning his head away. You stood there still smiling, was it possible you were making the great Bakugou Katsuki flustered?

As everyone started to walk out, Bakugou’s agent, Allison Marks went up to you and hugged you. You were a little taken back but you remembered that Ochacko was the same way when you first met her, so you allowed it and squeezed her back.

“That was incredible! I’ve never seen such focus and passion into this kind of stuff! I mean you had every pose, every lighting change, every angle, every outfit, and even every makeup look! How did you do it?”

You blushed smiling, not having gotten this kind of recognition in a long time.

“I had an amazing friend who got me off my ass and made me work, he brings out the best in me.”

Allison melted at your words, “that is the most beautiful sentiment I’ve ever heard, y/n. You are just such a remarkable woman!”

She gave you one last quick hug, then raced out of the room to catch up with the rest of the team, little did you know Bakugou stayed behind.

“She’s way too energetic for her own good,” Bakugou leaned on the table as you cleaned up the room. You looked up at him before smiling at the thought of her bright aura.

“Yeah but it’s so refreshing to have in this line of work, not a lot of people think of photography as art anymore.”

Bakugou cocked an eyebrow at you, watching you closely.

“Art? You think all of this is art?”

You stopped what you were doing for a moment, before standing up fully again and looking at him. His answer seemed genuine but you still didn’t really know they guy. His voice was gruff and his face was pretty much always the same, except when he gets mad, now that’s something you’d like to watch with popcorn in your hands.

“Of course it’s art. There’s so much creativity and thought that goes into this process, I mean did you not just see my whole presentation?”

You shut the computer down quickly before walking over to the blond, who was now looking very amused at your new frustration.

“Look, you may not understand because all you have to do is stand there and look pretty but the people who work on this really do put a lot of human emotion and expression into making this successful. That’s the key with art, it’s more than just showing sweat drip down your glorious abs.”

You rolled your eyes as you walked away from him, not wanting to be any closer in fear you would somehow black out and end up kissing him again. In your defense his cologne is really strong.

“You think my abs are glorious?”

His tone was teasing, almost like he was testing the waters with you.

What was wrong with this guy? He’s so full of it that he didn’t even pay attention to anything that you said except for the one compliment!

“I’ll see you in ten Bakugou, enjoy your break.”

You tried not to sneer at the selfish man next to you as he passed you, and thankfully he got the hint and let you leave.

“Shit.”

You had finally gotten home after a long day of Bakugoy torturing you. It was so weird because it seemed like he was trying to mess with you but any time you tried to match his energy, he looked the other way and pretended you didn’t exist. What was this guy’s problem! You just wanted to shove him into a wall and make out with him talk things out so it wasn’t awkward anymore. He just wasn’t professional. That was it. He was too immature and you didn’t have to think about him ever again after this.

You were able to calm down by having your third cup of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table with your laptop. Your team was able to get a lot of good shots today, and they wanted you to edit the pictures they got. The only problem was that the company that you work for now has a contract with this new editing software. They explained it in further detail but your shift was over and you have a nasty habit of turning off your brain whenever your shift ends.

“What is it?” Hitoshi came over to where you were sitting, chewing obnoxiously in your ear causing you to shove his face away. He just laughed and continued chewing, grossing you out further.

“I swear to go Toshi if you get cookie crumbs on my brand new laptop-“

“I’ve never seen this website, what is it?”

You rolled your eyes at his lame way to change the topic but you let him do it anyways.

“I…honestly don’t know. I genuinely have no idea where to even start with this.”

Toshi finally swallowed his food and leaned towards the computer. It did make you giggle a bit, he needed glasses but is refusing to even think about it making him look like an old person whenever he looks at a screen.

“Oh shit yeah, this actually looks like something from the future.”

You chuckled before swatting him away, trying to figure it out on your own. You created a whole career by yourself, all self taught for fucks sake! You can figure this one software program, everything is “new” at one point, you’ll totally make this your bitch!

“y/n you’ve been cursing up a storm for the past ten minutes, just email asking to use a different editing program.”

You grunted, letting your head fall on the table. You stared at the rings that still scattered across your fingers, not yet taking them off from work. Then, you thought of Bakugou again. You literally couldn’t get him out of your head, you’ve only been working at that stupid place for a week and you’ve already found yourself infatuated by him! That’s ridiculous, and not you. After the shit that your first ex made you go through you promised that you wouldn’t get as attached again, not unless it was a long term relationship. You hated situationships and how awful relationships had been for you. You just wanted to find someone you felt at home with.

“Hey, take a break, we can figure this out later.”

You sat up, taking a deep breath and realizing there was a small tear running down your face. You’ll be alright. You’ll find the right person when it’s time.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a second”

You got up and headed to your room, where you were finally able to take off all the little pieces of jewelry and makeup off, and put on some comfortable clothes. As of right now you are home, and that’s good enough for you.

“No way! Toshi you never told me you were into Kaminari! This completely changes things!”

You fell back onto the cough laughing as Hitoshi covered his face with a pillow. You couldn’t say you didn’t see this coming, it was quite obvious the day of the party when you introduced him to each other. They already knew of each other from college but you weren’t aware of how many classes they had together and how much Hitoshi watched Kaminari’s channel.

“Shut up. I never told you because I knew you would would be a dick about it.”

You immediately stopped laughing and sat back up. “Toshi! I’m sorry if I ever made you feel uncomfortable, I want to be that person you go to for everything.”

You tried to give him your most impressive puppy dog eyes but all you got in return was a pillow to the face.

“You are the person I go to for everything dipshit, it’s just this is embarrassing and I know I’ll never have the chance to go out with him-“

“Toshi!” you moved the pillow and grabbed your best friend’s shoulders. His eyes widened but quickly went back to his resting “i’m judging you” face. You leaned in close to his face, so close your foreheads were touching. You knew he hated this proximity but you needed him to understand the words that were about to come out of your mouth.

“You are one of the most wonderful person, if not the most wonderful person I have ever met. There is no way in hell he wouldn’t be interested in you.”

Toshi stayed like that for a bit, arms crossed firmly on his chest before allowing his body to fall backwards into the couch. You stared at him, examining his body language. If you hadn’t known him for so long it would have been hard for you to read him, but right now you could tell that he was definitely thinking really hard, trying to comprehend what you had just said to him.

“Kaminari is really good at editing things, I bet you could get him to do it for you.”

Your eyes widened before you hoped up on your feet, scaring Hitoshi.

“Toshi! You’re a genius!” You rushed over and grabbed his face before planting a firm kiss on his forehead. “I knew you were my best friend for a reason.”

You raced to the kitchen where your phone was charging and opened twitter as fast as you could. You only had his twitter, hoping his DMs weren’t flooded with fans trying to talk to him.

“You know I hate it when you do that!”

You smiled as you typed away on your phone, putting it down after you sent a quick explanation to him.

“You know you love it. Want some more popcorn?”

“Duh.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

this is why we can’t have nice things…literally

i think i got way too carried away with this one…i just didn’t want to have to do a shit ton for sunday’s post

speaking of sunday! im planning on doing some more written content for that post, and im gonna do a post with a poll if y’all are cool with that. i don’t wanna like explode ur brain with so much plot yk? if y’all are sick of my writing then i’ll just do a silly filler episode or smth idk i’ll think of smth

fun facts! ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

- katsuki was definitely staring at y/n’s ass during her presentation

- katsuki didn’t mean to be rude when he asked y/n the question, it was genuine! he just sucks at showing emotion and y/n isn’t used to his weird behavior/personality yet

- katsuki is also not used to flirting like he thinks he’s soooo good at flirting (he’s not) but when someone he’s actually into reciprocates it freaks him the fuck out

- after they graduated high school bkg basically did the whole speech he did to izuku in the manga and apologized, they both cried and are now on good terms and their families hang out together on holidays again :)

- shoto is low key jealous of bkg, not in a toxic way, just like a pouting puppy, to which izuku always makes sure to smother his face in kisses to make him feel better 🥺

- idc if you agree or not bkg DEFINITELY says “lol” to piss of kami bc he knows it brothers him

- y/n and toshi are siblings your honor. and if you don’t obnoxiously chew in your sibling’s ear are you really siblings?

- toshi follows kami on EVERYTHING, it’s kinda pathetic :/

- kami is nocturnal. that’s it. that’s all i have to say about that.

←Prev┊˚✧ ┊ Next→

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ updates every wednesday and sunday! happy wildest dreams wednesday ✧.*

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ TAGLIST IS OPEN-just message or comment!: @iiilovemilfs @0anodite0 @bakugouswh0r3 @amethyst123 @nijirosz @bakugoukatsukiwifiu @allnamesredacted @ch3rryhaze @ectoplasmictoast @cathwritestragediesnotsins @tati-the-fangirl @autumnfay @call-me-prodigy

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kindheart525 · 3 months

Text

Celestia’s sun shone brightly in the sky on this summer afternoon, bathing the world in a warmth that was toasty but not sweltering. A soft breeze blew over the land, creating a ripple along the lake’s surface. Anypony who peered into the lake would find their reflection distorted by the waves—a humorous sight.

Much like the aunt and niece relaxing on its beaches now.

“There’s a version of my Dad in your world? And he had a crush on Queen Twilight!?”

“Yeah! I almost can’t believe it myself!”

The two sat there talking and laughing, catching up on a whole lifetime they’d missed out on. A lifetime that was filled with so many joys yet so many sorrows. But now they finally had time to talk about it.

“But he’s a really nice guy, he stood up for the people he cared about when it counted and he sure was fun to be around. He was in a band…maybe he still is. And he had quite the sense of humor. If the Flash Sentry here was anything like that, I can see why Sunburst would have liked him.”

Sunset Shimmer chuckled to herself, reminiscing back to her high school days and long before that, when she was young and carefree and close with her little brother.

“I think he did mention being in a band at one point!”

Luster Dawn laughed along. The pain of her loss wasn’t gone, it would never go away completely, but for once she could also feel joy while remembering the ones she missed so dearly. Like they were still alive, in memory.

“He was in the royal guard, he had to be all serious for his job but when he was with us he was nothing but fun. Papa could be stressed a lot of the time but Dad was always making him laugh, it was almost embarrassing.”

She felt a deep pang of guilt remembering the last time she saw them.

“And well…I wish I hadn’t been so embarrassed. I didn’t want to be around them, I said a lot of things I wish I could take back, and—“

“So did I.”

Her aunt suddenly broke her spiral, taking her hoof in hers with a compassionate but wistful smile.

“I was an awful pony when I was younger. An awful person. Nothing was ever enough for me, I was always looking for more power—“

She stopped, not wanting to delve into her whole backstory.

“Anyway, my relationship with Sunburst suffered for it. I said a lot of things I wish I could take back too. I regret it all the time…”

Sunset started to feel choked up, but she focused back on the niece who needed her so much.

“I know exactly how you feel.”

These words meant the world to Luster, knowing she finally found somepony who understood her situation perfectly. Somepony older and wiser, who could help her get through it.

“How do you live with it?”

She asked, desperate for a nugget of wisdom.

“It can be hard. Really hard.”

Sunset admitted.

“But the version of me that was so nasty back then isn’t here anymore, I try every day not to be like her. And I hope that the ones I’ve lost would be proud of me, and the ones I meet in the future will know who I’ve worked hard to become. Just look at you!”

She pointed to Luster’s reflection in the water, her eyes focused on the real filly before her.

“I’ve only just met you and I already know you’re an amazing filly.”

“Really?”

Luster was humbled by this, she had spent so long wallowing in her regret that she often forgot to think about all the good qualities she had.

“Yeah! Witty, smart, talented, where do we even begin?”

Both of them laughed together, a weight lifting off their shoulders as they finally allowed themselves to just be.

It was a few minutes of just wordlessly enjoying each other’s company before Sunset spoke up again.

“You know, I’ve always wondered how my brother’s life turned out. If he was happy, if he ever found ‘the one’ or accomplished everything he wanted to. But I don’t have to wonder anymore.”

“Hm?”

“Because your dads raised you, and that’s all I need to know about them. They would be so proud.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Previous: Peach Pit Next: Ginger and Lemon Tea With Honey

#KindsArt #auraverse #child management #luster dawn #sunset shimmer #story piece #next generation #my little pony #mlp fim #mlp g4

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philhoffman · 9 months

Text

Happy 56th birthday, Phil! Every year I write something on this day and it usually turns into a letter to him about all the ways he’s impacted my life. Every time it seems like he's had an even bigger influence than the one before, and this year is no exception.

I scribbled something earlier, elsewhere, about how hard it has become to write about Phil Hoffman in some ways—he's become so much a part of my life that it would be like trying to describe why I love breathing so much. I just do—I have to—it keeps me alive, and I love being alive. I love being alive in large part thanks to Phil.

Today was kind of hard. I used to set a lot of expectations for myself about how things should feel, but I've learned to just accept what comes. On Phil's birthdays, I try to be happy and celebrate his life. We hear enough about his death, even from the most well-meaning people and comments. But today I really just missed him. This is the 10th birthday he has missed, which is a painful milestone, but even the number didn't mean much to me.

Maybe it's because this last year has been so good. One of the best of my life. The lessons I've learned from Phil's work and his life have helped me grow into a more confident, appreciative, and I hope kinder version of myself. He's pushed me out of my comfort zone with incredible results. Far too many things to list here—don't want to steal the spotlight from the birthday boy, after all, though I did run the NYC half marathon in his memory...—but suffice to say it's been an amazing fucking year. Most of all finally visiting Rochester and meeting Phil's mother and sister, getting to tell them he changed my life.

So now it's his birthday—the day to celebrate and honor and remember his life, the man he was, the artist he strove to be, all the amazing ways he's made a difference in the world. And there were a lot of tears because I just wish he was here for it. I knew higher highs would beget lower lows. Having walked his streets in the city and met his family and had all these real, solid experiences, maybe the fact that he's gone feels more real and solid, too.

I come back to the fact that it only hurts so badly because I love him so much. This grief is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Is it worth it? Yes, it is. It always is. Even when it’s so hard, it’s worth that pain—sometimes for what’s on the other side, sometimes for the pain itself. The lessons within it. That's what life is, Phil said, all the joy and all the heartbreak, wrapped up together and beautiful.

Tonight there was a real pretty sunset and I sat outside in the grass and finished A Prayer for Owen Meany, one of PSH's favorite books. "If you care about something, you have to protect it—if you're lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it."

Knowing Phil—through his films, his words, his actions, his community, his spirit—has given me a life I love, full of art and harm reduction and sobriety and Proust and relationships and an overflowing DVD shelf and starting lines and the reassuring sense of his hand on my shoulder and love, and the courage to live that full life.

He was brave and could be restlessly impatient with anyone who wasn't. He infused every role with a piece of his soul—not as a Faustian bargain, but with love and understanding. He made people feel seen, whether they were standing in front of him or sitting in a darkened theater. His love was ferocious. He fought every day and stayed sober for over 20 years. He pushed himself out of his comfort zone to reach new heights as an actor. He didn't really like to be stopped on the street, but when someone once whispered, "I love you," as he passed, he turned with a big smile and said "Love you too!" One thing I wish I'd had the presence of mind to tell his mom and sister is that, in addition to his obvious talent, I've heard so many stories about what an amazing person he was.

Happy birthday, Phil—also known as BK, Heat Miser, Philly Cream Cheese, Bill Board, bubs, Slip, Clyde Anderson, my PB, The Chairman, bastard, birthday boy (among several other aliases). We've already talked quite a bit today, so I'll stick to the basics. I love you. We keep you with us all the time—so many people who love you and who you love in return, family and friends and fellow artists and fans who saw truth in the way you worked and created and lived. We are so proud of you for every day, for all the time you spent with us, for everything you did and all that you are. I dream of your smile, your big laugh.

Thank you, Philip. For everything. For being around. You said you wanted to make a difference and you did—I needed you and you showed up and you haven't stopped showing up since. I want to make you proud and I hope I do. Happy birthday, Phil, I love you—you know the rest ❤️

#'carry me in your heart. I talk to you from there.' I hear you buddy. I'm always listening #angel of the cosmos #*

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hyenahunt · 4 months

Text

Saga: Rivals - 31

Writer: Akira

Season: Winter

Characters: Jun, Seiya, Hokuto, Jin, Hiyori

Proofreading: 310mc (JP) & hyenahunt (ENG)

Translation: kotofucius

Hiyori: Ahaha, you were such a lovely little boy, Jun-kun! Well, but the current you also has your cute sides ♪

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Location: Reverse Live Stage

Jun: Now that I’ve been freed ever so slightly from my parents’ curse, I'm gonna walk forward with my own life. And by taking down Sagami Jin today, I'll gain even more momentum.

I’m all pumped up and raring to go~ Winning this'll be a cinch ♪

Seiya: Fufu. I do beg your pardon, but I’m afraid that will be difficult.

Jun: …Sorry?

Seiya: If I were to summarize that video, or well, how it seemed to our audience due to the convenient editing, perhaps it'd be along the lines of how...

Sagami Jin-kun, the Super Idol who once had the world wrapped around his little finger, had a rival. And now, here is the son of that very rival — Sazanami Jun-kun, of Lilith.

Hokuto: That’s… well, that’s just a fact, isn’t it?

Seiya: It is indeed. The video included some cuts from back then too; and perhaps because this Project-Saga concert is all about reviving retired idols…

It was met with an incredibly good reception from the audience.

Jin: Watching old videos of myself was awfully humiliating for me, though?

Ugh, my lines were so grating they set my teeth on edge… I was internally screaming at my past self the whole time. What kinda living hell did I get myself into?

Seiya: Fufu. Oh, you’ll survive. It made for some fantastic promotion for Rain-bows, didn't it?

The video showed your brilliant figure as you performed so many great feats — A given, of course, as the shows from that time were produced for that purpose in the first place.

Even those who have forgotten must’ve been reminded of just how amazing the very Jin-kun that stands before them was.

As a result, you’ll naturally gain an increased amount of votes.

And at the same time, Jun-kun must’ve looked like… a boy raised with the greatest admiration for Jin-kun, his father’s rival, one aspiring to follow in his footsteps.

After all, we added some childhood shots of Jun-kun singing to Jin-kun's poster while he gazed intently at it all the while.

To any outsider, he’s practically all over Jin-kun.

Hiyori: Ahaha, you were such a lovely little boy, Jun-kun! Well, but the current you also has your cute sides ♪

Jun: Guh… I feel like I just experienced a living hell, too~ To think that videos from that time not only exist but got showcased in front of so many people... This has gotta be the most embarrassing moment of my life.

Seiya: But weren't they just so heartwarming?

Hocchan, my wife has many similar moments of you preserved as videos, so should you ever want them played during a concert just like tonight, let me know anytime.

Hokuto: Don’t you worry, because that will never happen. Actually, just get rid of them. I hate that there's even a possibility that you might use them like this someday.

Seiya: Oh, we aren’t getting rid of anything. They’re precious memories, you see.

But in any case, how it looks to the audience is that Jun-kun so ardently admired Jin-kun that he decided to be an idol.

Your parents may have apologized many times in the video, but to anyone besides us, who already know of the circumstances, the editing made it so that no viewers would understand just what it was about...

It only seemed as if your father was apologizing to you for being a lesser idol than Jin-kun.

Your parents started crying at some point, too, but it only seemed as if they were so very proud of their son who grew beyond their own achievements… and those tears were, therefore, ones of joy.

You understand now, yes? What I just did was make a charming little tale out of the harrowing life you’ve led up until now.

Rather than your grudges, nor your parents' forceful coercion, it was your supposed admiration for Jin-kun that I turned into your reason for becoming an idol.

Jun: Turned, huh… Is it really gonna be okay when the actual truth’s completely different~?

Jun: …Well, no one’s gonna be happy if we ever laid the whole truth bare.

I’m not asking for pity from the world or anything, though. All I wanna do is overcome the wall that stands in front of me.

Jin: Hey now, don’t glare at me while saying that… C'mon, you admire me, right~? It'd make my day if your eyes could sparkle a lil' more when ya look at me.

Jun: Goddamn. …Ugh, in any case, what exactly is all this for?

I'm real thankful that you didn’t make a nasty villain out of anyone, including my old man, but there’s gotta be some kinda vital reason you went to all these lengths, right?

Seiya: Correct. How about I give you a hint, then? There's no time for me to explain in length, so please think it through on your own.

Ultimately, this is all for the sake of balance. And just as I said at the start, I've wanted to make Jun-kun into the very embodiment of the name Lilith.

Can you predict the rest?

Hokuto: No, I can’t. Just what are you doing, Father?

Seiya: I've already answered that, too. In this kingless era, there is no meaning in winning by a landslide.

All that will achieve is reverse things back to a former era, and I wouldn’t like that to happen, either.

At the same time, I can’t have the situation so spectacularly reversed on me, either. I cannot allow there to be an overwhelming victory that would completely cripple the defeated.

After all, I want to continue surviving on, so that I may become a supporting role for the future you’ll all bring about.

Now, the “reverse” in Reverse Live will refer to neither the reversal of time nor the situation. [1]

I will wash it clean from any sense of those meanings so that it may very well have been chosen purely for the sound of it.

And if I could sing until the end and welcome a happily-ever-after with a smile… Then there will be nothing else I would wish for. My job will be done.

Hokuto: …?

[ ☆ ]

✦✦✦✦✦

"Reverse" (リバース) in Japanese is pronounced the same as "rebirth", so throughout the chapters there is some ambiguity on which meaning the name has. Incidentally, the official English name according to ! appears to be Rebirth Live....

← prev ✦ all ✦ next →

#ensemble stars #enstars #enstars translation #hyenahunttl #s: saga #hokuto hidaka #jin sagami #hiyori tomoe #seiya hidaka #jun sazanami

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captain-sassy-socks · 2 years

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GABIT INSP 2022 Part V - Closing Ceremony and Personal Thoughts

At the beginning, Amanda sat aside from the stage, as did the rest of the G4 and head stewards, and was already clutching a tissue in her hand. That was the moment I realized things would probably get very emotional.

A video with moments from the first GABIT conventions was displayed.

Julia got on stage and thanked everyone in lengthy detail. The final amount raised for charity was announced. (side note: as final as it could get since they forgot to auction off one item)

Nora and Becka presented the two cheques. Amanda helped them.

A representative from Hearing Dogs thanked us for our generosity and introduced us to their work, and explained how the pandemic was a huge setback.

Becky then shared how an idea to get Amanda back into town became a reality. She thanked Amanda for being a role model and breaking the cycle of body image issues for her daughter. This was followed by a short story about Becky's mother and her fear of the dentist.

Next, Liesl thanked everyone for being a part of the experience.

Julia got up on stage and said, “I haven’t got speech.” Amanda dramatically jumped up, shouted, “Bullshit!” and pretended to leave the room. After three large steps, she turned back and broke into laughter.

Julia explained that this was indeed the last GABIT convention since the company would go defunct. (side note: reading between the lines, the possibility of a reunion sometime in the future wasn’t ruled out)

Finally, Amanda stepped back on the stage and struggled to retain her composure. She thanked us for being part of this wonderful family and for embracing one another. For every little thing she gives us, inspires us, we give 100 times more back to her. The memories of these events and our stories have carried her through the darkest hours. She considers GABIT a friendship factory and is proud of it.

And after that, the dam broke and she cried her eyes out.

Amanda left the hall to a standing ovation.

And a sense of finality set in.

~~~

And here are my personal thoughts regarding the weekend.

1) I was a newbie. First time convention, first time Amanda Tapping. I didn’t know what to expect. Good for me, because the weekend blew my mind. The entire time I was living in a bubble, running on adrenalin and serotonin and definitely not enough sleep. Even the one or other cocktail couldn’t take full effect in this state. lol

2) I had read many articles and seen many videos, such as the "Bite the Bullet" interview. So I knew Amanda was struggling with her self-esteem and self-worth, but I didn't know the extent of it. I just didn't want to believe that "I like to play smart, savvy, sexy women - because that's not me" was the truth. In my mind, she was one part Samantha Carter and one part Helen Magnus, smart, strong, badass. Seeing her so vulnerable deconstructed that image and replaced it with something I can't yet find the right words for. But it's definitely better.

3) As much as we, the fans, needed this event to reconnect with her, to tell her our stories, to be enveloped by one of the best hugs in the world, I can't shake the feeling that Amanda needed it even more, a safe place to feel loved. I feel honored to have been a part of it.

4) I have gained a new respect for Amanda. After all the shit life has dealt her the last year, it would have been easy to wallow in self-pity, blame the world, and become a bitter, cynical, old woman. But she refused and continues to be the kindest and most caring person I’ve ever meet. Kindness is not just a word for her. She lives and breathes it as witnessed in the grand and little moments throughout the weekend.

5) Suanne Braun was a wonderful guest. She went with the the spirit of the event and complemented Amanda well. I really liked her dry humor and their display of friendship. I’ll definitely keep an eye out for Suanne's future projects.

6) At last, I come to the best part: I MET THE MOST AMAZING PEOPLE!!! You know who you are ;-) We laughed, we cried, we fangirled hard, we had the time of our lives. It was mostly you who made the weekend unforgettable. This amazing feeling and the memories will linger for a long time and carry me through another winter that looks less promising again. And remember the promise: if one of us wins the lottery big time, we’ll go through with our plans for a reunion.

7) Earlier, I mentioned an item they forget to auctioned off. It was this. Imagine having it hanging over your bed...

#Amanda Tapping #Grand Empress of Scifi #gabit

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euphhorias · 1 year

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the beginning of the final month of the year but today is an angel’s birthday so réka @yooboobies my sweet honey, the happiest of birthdays to u !! if u thought last year’s letter was emotional, then this one’s even more so 💜

where to begin? over a year has passed since we’ve, well i’ve, had the pleasure of meeting u and being allowed into ur space 💖 and it’s something i cherish and hold v v dear to my heart bc coming into a fandom such as k-pop, i never expected to make close friends and then have friends of friends but u were one of the first and the fact we’re still here, months later, is magical ✨ we may have been introduced to each other in a different gc, fond memories there, and then u made ur own, the boongie base, and were kind enough to send me the invite 🥹 to which now is a place i’m so grateful for and couldn’t imagine my life without 🥹 the amount of love that’s spread, the silly shenanigans, the delulu convos, and the loveliest of souls, i do not think myself worthy of being a part of something so delightful but it’s all thanks to u so truly thank u for inviting me into this warm space of light and joy, it cheers up my dark days and makes the good ones even brighter 💕

we may live thousands of miles apart but i can honestly say u are one of the most special people i have met, not just from being in a fandom but life in general 🫶🏻 i wish u could see urself how i see u, how so many people see u, a beautiful heartwarming darling who would give the shirt off her back if it would help someone else, ur that kind of selfless person and it’s so hard and rare to find, ur like a diamond in the ruff and deserved to be loved upon as such 💎 not to mention ur INSANE talent !! whether it be sketching or gifmaking, creating sims or teaching lil kids, u should give urself way more credit darling, oh how i would love to have a sliver of how talented u are, both envious and completely in awe of u ajksjksjds 🥰 and another bonding factor: being cat moms and our fur babies looking like precious twins it melts my heart and simply hearing from u, seeing ur gorgeous cute sexy selfies, are blessing themselves and i consider myself v fortunate to be in ur company almost daily ❤️‍🔥

i wish i could do more than post just a silly lil letter, for it’s only a fraction of the love and adoration i have for u 😭 but until we meet (🤞🏻🤞🏻), it’ll have to do tho be forewarned, an in-person celebration will be far more than simply words from me, as u deserve to be showered with gifts and endless amounts of love, so that’ll be crammed in more and more as the years and birthdays go by 🥳 to draw this to a close, i just want to say how thankful i am for being a part of ur life and u in mine, it’s crazy to think there was a time we didn’t know each other but i’m so glad we’re in THIS time when we DO know each other and i count u as a wife, best friend and drinking buddy all in one 🥂 never change, never stop being urself and thank u for bringing the boongie base wives together in the most wonderful polyamorous relationship ever 🥺 never stop loving yoongi, hoseok, sope, bts, for u have one of the biggest hearts i’ve ever known, and please remember how cherished and treasured u are, by all of us 🤍 also, have fun seeing louis next year !! ur going to have the most amazing time !! and of course, enjoy ur special day, it’s all about u my girl sweet loml, stay safe and celebrate this beautiful time 🫰🏻 I LOVE U SO MUCH ENDLESSLY AND ALWAYS 😍🎂👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🎉💛

#hi hi i cried while writing this but u already know i'm an emotional wreck all the time so-#happy birthday beautiful baby i adore u always and i hope u like this letter as much as last year's i lob u xxx #réka 💜#moots 🍝

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arihi · 2 years

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Return of the Recaps (Beguiled 2022)

Oh man, I forgot con recaps were even a thing until Spider was like ‘I’m thinking of writing a con recap’ and that memory was unlocked for me. It’s been a while, okay!! I’m not even sure if I properly did one for the last Charmed 2020 that I attended, either.

This isn’t going to be a very structured post - imagine I’m saying all of this super fast gasping for air in between, like a train of thought. My internal monologue is apparently just gibberish with occasional circus music, so it makes it hard to write things in a non-train of thought manner. And, it wasn’t a very structured con for me. Back when I attended classes more often and went to specific events on days, it was easier, but this con I just went with the vibes, which I’m more and more certain is the best way to do it. (I even wrote a post about it that’s only a little outdated! Spider is now found at @it-me-spider.) My point is the same there - flexibility is your most vital skill at cons. Spider and I had three scenes planned, and only one of them actually went through - and it involved a lot navigating/an impromptu craft project. I almost love that they didn’t go according to plan? Not that they didn’t happen, but I treasure that we were able to be flexible and sort things out. Something I tell Spider often when she gets a work call while we’re together, is that it’s an adventure.

The vibes of the people at the con were good. I was able to catch up with so many old friends, get to chat in more depth with those I’d only met in passing in the past, and meet at least a few new people! It was a very social con for me, and that’s what I needed after so long without one. It was a perfect amount of social and low-key, in that there weren’t as many crowded dinners or room parties or con areas, so that I felt socialized but rarely overwhelmed. I think I may put a hard cap on people for future meals at future cons.

Which wasn’t to say I was never overwhelmed. Spider and I had daily, sometimes twice a day debrief/decompression times in our room alone, which I’m just going to have a rule for going forward because it was SO helpful. Sometimes I wouldn’t realize that I needed a breather until we were already in the room. There were a few snags and negative spirals, as emotions run high at cons and there are high highs and low lows, but we navigated them together and are all the more stronger for it.

I got to show Spider off to everyone I could. There was a list of people I wanted her to meet and we got to meet most everyone who was attending. She’s amazing, and so good at socializing I’m low-key worried she’ll get along with my friends better than I do! But that makes me so so so happy. All this time I’ve told her about the side of cons that I’ve experienced, and how great they were for me, and this past weekend I was able to show her a few snapshots of that, I hope. She was very happy to socialize and would make plans for doing so, and pushed me to be a better version of myself, and I saw her shine so brightly at this con. I love her.

Most of why I attend cons nowadays is for the people, but I do still have to shout out that most of the concom was amazing, and I saw how hard they worked during the con. I attended the concom feedback hour on Sunday, and most of them were very receptive to feedback. If I could add more feedback here, it’d be for someone not to play a weird trick question about consent and then joke that we probably didn’t understand what it was, since that was fucking weird and inappropriate. I acknowledge it must’ve been a huge struggle to organize the con during these hectic times, and with fewer actual capable hands on board.

Most of how I’ve changed in the past 2.5 years is lower reserves of energy, and lower tolerance for bullshit. I’m more selective with my time because I can be, and because I deserve that for myself. I went to the Beguiled literally the week that I moved out of home, so emotions were complicated - and this Beguiled carried a much different energy for me, a more confident and comfortable me. I let myself enjoy things and people I wanted to enjoy, and I made my voice known when things didn’t feel right. @tennfan2 snuck in one of the kindest things I’ve ever been told, right at the end of Sunday night - that after everything I’ve been through, it was refreshing to see me become a more awesome version of myself. And I feel like I have - in no small part due to particular friends and followers who have followed and supported my journey.

As a last bit of con magic, 15 minutes before we were supposed to board, @daja-the-hypnokitten and @spiralturquoise happened to be near our gate, and we were able to say our last goodbyes. A great close out to our trip.

Until next time, my friends.

#hypnocon #Ari adventures #Beguiled 2022 #I love Spider #what other tags did I used to use for these?#hypnosis community #I used to @ all the people I saw and chatted with but that's simply not possible #I talked to a lot of people!

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