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four-loose-screws · 1 year

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Comeback, Take 2!

Let's try returning to my normal posting schedule again!

First, the context.

So early on in 2022, I realized that I was going to have to significantly slow my translations pace, as I was getting married, and I like to be way over-the-top handmade in everything I do. The time I had to put into every detail was immense.

I thought that I would be able return to a more consistent posting pace once the wedding was over, but then I made the very much hasty decision to sign up for the December Japanese proficiency exam, and finally tackle the highest level. I was almost immediately filled with complex feelings when I learned that preparations were going to take a whole lot more time in the day than just a quick review of vocab and grammar I've studied before.

THEN Christmas is a thing! So I had about 2 weeks to panic and rush and get gifts out to the side of the family that gives gifts to EVERYONE - I even gift exchange with great aunts and uncles I haven't seen since I was but a wee kiddo playing Pokemon, Sonic, and Harvest Moon 8 hours a day, who had no idea how ambitious I would become (FE didn't come into my radar until I was a teen).

So in the end, my return was put off almost exactly 1 year, but I'm ready to try again!

Now it's 2023 and I'm ready for a well-deserved reset! 2022 was not a miserable year for me by any means, I was busy with good things. But I was way over-worked, and I'm ready to shove that life in the garbage bin for way more translating, naps, and mindless exploring of Pokemon Violet's Paldea! At least for a couple more weeks until Engage, and the Story of Seasons remake drop. :) (I'll be importing the JP version of A Wonderful Life at the end of the month, normally I wouldn't mind waiting for the NA release, but SoS games are one of the few on the Switch that are region locked.)

I apologize dearly to everyone who sent an ask/message/etc. to me over the past many months, that has gone entirely ignored. Everyone who sends comments my way is always *super* fantastic and supportive of me having to take breaks (Hugs to you all!), but I'm always so bummed when I can't keep up. It's what I want to do, and when I can't do it, it's just super poopy.

My blog goals for the beginning of the year are about what someone who has been following my translations for a long time might expect: 1) stay on pace with the FE7 novel translation, 2) get caught back up and finished with the FE4 manga translation, and 3) get all my asks/messages/etc. caught up on before making any new commitments!

Best of luck to everyone and their goals for the new year! Be real and kind with yourself, and you can accomplish them in time. :) Everything just takes time, and it takes forever to figure out your personal style for achieving accomplishments.

I have many things I'd like to learn this year, but the only one I'm committing to is getting better at reading Japanese. I realized that translating novels does NOT help one bit at improving my skills in reading for enjoyment or everyday life! ...You might think that's strange at first glance, but translating is... slow. Methodical. Aiming for careful interpretation of every sentence and word. That does not help with gaining reading speed and comprehension on par with native speakers AT ALL. So I really need to improve, especially in case I didn't pass the Japanese exam and need to go for a round 2 this December!

Cheers to a new year of much more relaxation! 🥳🎉

#fire emblem #translation #translations #blog update #here's to 2023!

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ashes-0f-phoenix · 2 years

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Year in review

Tfw

Be in a happy poly relationship with your long term partner and your best friend with benefits

Be schizophrenic with ptsd

Not at a stable place in recovery at all

Long term partner really loves the same fictional character as my past abuser who tried to rape and then stab me

Be triggered af by partner's love for the character but my love for my partner is stronger than my mental illness, right?

No it's not

Particularly bad ptsd episode, triggering topic of said character comes up, attack partner, beat him up, slam his head into the heater causing burns, then cry in his lap for several hours as he comforts me

Scared That I'll Eventually Fucking Kill Him .jpg

Hate myself, start distancing myself from him and eventually decide its best if I straight up ghost him

Still love him but block all of his concerned attempts to reach out to me, completely convinced that it's in our best interest

Stay close with other member of the relationship, get even closer, friends with benefits become romantic

Our ex partner is ostracized from our friend group (later find out he was so depressed he didn't leave the house for five months after I left him)

My new relationship is going great, we work together and travel a lot, distracted from past

New hopes and dreams, get further in recovery

Get engaged, plan to move abroad together, I replan my studies accordingly

Open relationship, she acquires a friend with benefits, we hang out together, it's nice, having the time of our lives

A homophobic bitch in our social circle we offended by idk what (being happy i guess) starts spreading rumour that my fiance is abusing me

What The Fuck .pdf

Am schizophrenic with ptsd so nobody believes me when I deny it

Relationship becomes tense as we can't stop our social circle from ostracizing my fiance on account of baseless claims, I get increasingly paranoid while hanging out with friends

Drug fueled panic attack on a night out, travel two hours, show up in my ex's doorway unannounced in the middle of the night as my brain somehow located that as a place of safety instead of literally dozens of options that were closer

He is not overjoyed to say the least

Makes me sit down and watch cartoons till I calm down and fall asleep

Lowkey reconcile or at least stop outright hating eachother after that, sometimes meet at events and friendly chats

Still miss him but I'm happy now and he's happy by himself and wouldn't want to get back together

School exam season, stop going out with my fiance and friends for a month, she's fine with it, she's busy with a new job anyway

By the time I get back, find the rumour campaign went far enough to turn entire social circle against me, my fiance ghosted me, and nobody is willing to tell me why I'm supposedly suddenly a horrible person

Find out second hand that my now ex fiance moved in with her friend with benefits and refuses to talk to me, wtf, heartbroken

Replan studies, can't move abroad alone, replan whole life basically

Ex partner tells me that my ex fiance tried to reconcile with him and claimed that I ruined their relationship and they should become close again now that they finally ditched me. He denies offer because wtf, he's not gonna be friends with someone just so they can hate me together

God bless him for having common sense and respect

We agree that we both miss each other terribly but even though I am now very well in my recovery he says he wouldn't be able to trust me again and he is still so scarred from the way I acted towards him and the way I left him that he doubts his ability to ever have a romantic relationship with anyone again, which is like... fair

Crushing Guilt .webp

Ex who I abused physically and verbally is now one of my three remaining friends

Am single for the first time since I was 15

War in neighboring country, crumbling local economy, dreams seem more distant by the day

All this happened over the course of one year

Fuck My Life, but gotta keep going

#personal rambles

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wedontneedeachother · 4 months

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im so tired. i don't want to talk to anyone. im struggling to do anything and the uni deadlines are getting closer. it's almost exam season and to actually get to it i have to do some silly assignments like a history essay or a videoblog for my social communications class. but im so awfully tired. mostly mentally but i slept for 15h yesterday so i guess physically too. i hate myself so much. and it's my birthday tomorrow. 22nd. i wasn't supposed to make it this far. i wish i had the courage to end it all. I've been unemployed for 3 months. nobody wants to hire me and i don't have anymore money left. honestly i don't even want to work, i barely have the energy and will to get out of bed. i only want a job so i can have money for my silly little treats and meds and like the stuff i need + being busy with uni and work would make fasting/restricting easier. bc im so old my parents won't give me money. they're already mad at me for still living with them. i hate it here. and i hate having adhd bc it makes me unable to restrict and follow a diet plan. i wish i could have never been born, honestly. every day i hope i won't wake up again. but i do. and it never gets better, it only gets worse bc i keep getting older and im still in the same spot I've been since i turned 13. all the people i went to high school with are getting their bachelors degrees this year. and im struggling to pass the first semester of uni :''') im a failure. and im so mad at myself for keeping myself alive. my life is a nightmare. it'll never get better, not with this brain. my psychiatrist prescribed me anti-depressants again. but they cause weight gain and i can't have that. I'd rather be depressed than fat. i lost 10kg after getting out of the psych ward and i don't intend to gain it all back. especially not after I've made my comeback to ed twitter, ed tiktok and tumblr ofc. i want to suppress my adhd and actually commit to my ed. i have a couple of diet plans saved on my phone and i plan on following them. i wanted to let myself do nothing the first week of 2024, but i will start my wl plan on my bday. it's the perfect time imo bc i have so much stuff to do at uni and i'll have to study a lot and take my adhd meds. it should be easy to restrict with all that uni shit going on. i plan to be too busy to eat. i want to deep clean my room and that will take a while (i haven't deep cleaned it in years). and i plan to get back to my silly little workouts in my room. when spring rolls around I'll revive my mental health walks. it all sounds like a great plan and all but rn im so depressed i don't know if i have the strength for it. i think i have to gaslight myself constantly and pretend im not depressed and im in my honeymoon era or sth. fake it till you make it i guess.

#depression #vent post #tw vent #vent #uni life #menatl health #ed #i hate my body #why am i like this #i hate this #i hate everything #when will it end #when will it be my turn #failure #tw disordered eating #edtwtrefuges #adhd #ed adhd

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enbywithabee · 5 months

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Daily Recap | 12 • 10 • 23

I'm alive!! I haven't been able to write much because I have either been busy or sick. Finals season has been kicking my ass but I will survive!!

This past weekend was pretty eventful! I had to make some last-minute exam accommodation requests for the politics exam I mentioned in my last diary entry, but they all got approved! I literally cried when I found out because I was physically sick from stressing over it. Now I can stop stressing about if I'll even be able to finish my exams and start stressing about what all I need to study for them.

My a cappella group also hosted our final performance of the semester and it ended up being super fun, though a bit sad since two of our members will be studying abroad/away next semester and we won't see them for a bit. But hey, no more rehearsals 3 days a week for a month and a half!

Outside of school, I've been working on an application for a summer fellowship I'm interested in, studying for finals, and playing Baldur's Gate 3. My dnd campaign also met this weekend for the last time this semester (we're gonna meet virtually once or twice over break), and now I'm in dnd brainrot mode. I'm normal about this guys, I promise (lie)

Day rating: 8/10

Productivity highlights:

Put together quizlet for politics final

Looked over politics final exam prompts

Wrote 1 1/2 pages for my religion essay + reread the readings I wanna use for it

Updated my resume, picked a sample writing, and started my personal statement for the fellowship

Put away all of the laundry I've been avoiding for the past 2 weeks (oops)

Boo of the day: ADHD paralysis did it's thing and forced me to start on chores and hw WAY later than planned

Yay of the day: Got to stay in all day and listen to the rain outside while I worked <3

#studyblr #blog #diary entry #notes #bee's yappin

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jewishranger-studies · 1 year

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19/12/22 - 100dop day 1

So, day 1 is drawing to a close!! I've definitely been productive today, by my standards at least, although there are a couple of things I didn't do that I wanted to.

Progress towards my goals: I started the day with a pilates session to wake myself up (with the help of an energy drink, but shhh) and then did some German practice on duolingo and drops while I ate my extremely healthy seasonal breakfast of sufganiyot and a protein shake.

I had a couple of errands to run today which tragically couldn't be done at the same time, despite being literally 5 minutes away from each other and half an hour from my place, so I turned what would have been 4 half hour walks into 2 10 minute runs and 2 15 minute runs. I would've preferred to have done my cardio all in one chunk, but honestly the distance probably wouldn't have been worth what I got (perishable foods from my friends who are going home today for the holidays) if I hadn't given it a dual purpose.

In between errands part 1 and errands part 2 (seriously, did 2nd guy have to be busy until 3pm when 1st girl was leaving at 11am??), I had lunch, walked the cat, and spent 2 hours watching the recording of a biomechanics lecture I missed this past semester and took some notes which will be good for me to look back on in the future, although I've sadly already sat the exam for that module. Apart from that, I watched a couple episodes of Titans and chatted with my housemate who's going home tomorrow about the virtues of various breads.

Errands part 2 ended up with me chatting for over an hour, because what else would ever happen when you put together a pair of autistic sword nerds?

Since getting home, I've spent some time writing and got 500 words into a new fanfic which is entirely self-indulgent and has been bouncing around my head for about 2 months now. I may or may not write more before I go to bed tonight. Most likely not.

I unfortunately did not manage to read, let alone annotate, a paper or article today, however I did find one on the impact of blackcurrant and caffeine on endurance that I intend to read tomorrow.

Hope y'all get good sleep, I'll be back tomorrow!!

#100dop #university #studyblr #sport science #winter break

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just-dreaming-marvel · 1 year

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Hi b! How are you today? I've got some great news. Since festival season is over here in India I'm gonna take some break from school and I'm going on a small three day vacation with my mom. It's been a while since I've had a chance to get away and God I'm so so so excited. Especially since I'll be really busy for the next 3-4 months with exams and stuff

And the sneak peaks omg 🥺🥺🥺 han and little one. I need more of them please. I hope work isn't that hard on you and you feel better with you and have a great day love you got this

I'm okay.

That's so good! I love vacations and they can do wonders. Where are you going?

I'm glad that you liked the sneak peeks! My plan is to have Han and Little Star have like a sibling relationship--Han will be able to have a sister and Little star will get that brother-sister relationship she lost (and was also never really ever able to have).

love ya ❤️

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simpinforyoongi · 4 years

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Hey that's my water! ~ Shy!Jungkook x reader

Pairing: Jungkook x reader

Genre: fluff?? A bit of angst mAYBe like 0.002%, attempted humour but like, IDK how to make things funny ok don't attack me

Summary: Jungkook finished all your water while kinda confessing and you just ask him to give you time to get to know him. (and you're hoping that he doesn't change his mind)

{Note: This is my first imagine on Tumblr and I'd really appreciate any feedback and comments and notes. Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy it!!}

{p.s guess where the picture is from!}

~~~~~~~

Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. Don-

You peek at the confused boy to your right who sighs for the umpteenth time in the past hour.

Focus y/n focus . It's your finals.

You look back down to your half finished paper and start writing again, but not before taking yet another sneek peek at him.

You know, seeing such behavior of yours, one would think that you're crushing on this cute boy, Jungkook.

Well, it's not fuLLY wrong, I mean, he's kinda cute,ok. But its not quite true either.

Well its just, its hard to resist such a baby face and honey-sweet charms, okay?? And the fact that you're a hoe for shy boys isn't helping at all

I'd say you're giving exams a run for their money when it comes to being avoided by Jungkook.

I mean the guy hasn't held eye contact with you ever for more than half a second!

That day when you bumped into each other? Nopity. One second he was there with books sprawled across the floor and the next second he wasn't. He didn't even look at you!

Then there was that time when the only seat available was next to you and the rest were near his "fangirls". Its fair to say he shared his meal with squirrels that day.

And then there was that day when the teacher had asked you to explain something to him since she was in a hurry and you were the only one left in class. That was probably the only time he directly talked to you.

By "talk" , I mean the low "yes" when you asked whether he had understood or not. That's it.

Those were the only times when you interacted. In the past year.

And that last time was like 4-5 months ago.

Weird, considering the fact that you share a good number of classes with him. Well maybe he's just too shy, don't stress over it you dumbass.

You put your pen down and stretch out. One gets stiff after sitting in the same position for so long you know.

15 minutes are still left on the clock.

Jungkook still seems to be writing.

Your eyes linger on his face for longer than you'd like to admit.

Ok but like

Damn

he has a sharp jawline.

Slice my throat with that jaw please

But still those chubby soft looking cheeks? Howww?? Then there are those doe eyes that hold the soft chocolate brown orbs.

Oh how you'd love to stare at them for hours on end. And tangle your fingers in the soft brown locks that are hiding his forehead. Your eyes wander down to the sweet brown pools of caramel that I mentioned a moment ago and you can't seem to avert your eyes from his.

wait.

He's looking at you.

Y/N HE'S LOOKING AT YOU

You instantly turn back around and stare your paper with such intensity that if looks could burn, the flimsy piece of paper would've been long gone by now.

Well that's an amazing way to initiate contact. Great job!

Since that creepy eye contact, you didn't even dare look at his general direction

Unknown to you, he was smiling since he caught you staring at him with a hint of a dreamy smile.

He thought you looked cute with blood rushing to your cheeks.

He should try to make you flustered more often. Actually he should've tried a lot of things.

But him being a wimp is getting in his way of even looking at you nicely.

After revising your paper, you hand it in and head out.

Anyways

yeET FINALS ARE OVERRR

Walking to the entrance, you make a list of all the delicious food you're gonna eat and get fat now while binge watching all the dramas that had to be kept on hold due to exam season TT

BUT FINALLY ITS OVER SNSMMDMD

YEEEHEE

The sun suddenly seemed brighter and the sky seemed bluer.

you put in your earphones and settled on a favorite after much thought.

Ah life is sweet

And then it isn't

As you neared the entrance, a group of boys caught your eye. What surprised you more than them staring at you was the fact that Jungkook was one of them.

They immediately went back to talking amongst themselves.

Huh

Anyyyywaaaayyysss its time to PARTAYYY

So there you were, minding your own business, skipping along the song and mouthing the words.

You know, beautiful life.

But this peace didn't last long when your tranquil venture was interrupted by heavy and fast footsteps behind you.

Oh shit what if its a kidnapper. Oh shit oh shit oh shit

Instinctively, you looked behind.

Jungkook

Oh wait it's Jungkook. Hah not a kidnapper.

Oh wait

its JUNGKOOK

What if he's here to talk about the weird eye contact.

OhMY GOD OH MY GOD OY MY GOD OH MY GOD OHMY-

He stopped right in front of you and you swore your heart would leap out and break dance in front of you any moment now.

He glanced behind him at a black van.

Oh wait maybe he IS here to kidnap me.

Good as long as the weird eye contact isn't brought up.

He looks back at you and you're like ????

He says hey

You say hi

And then you're just standing there.

He again looks back at that kidnapping van and this time some of those boys from earlier stick their heads out and give him a thumbs up and you're again like ????

"So ummm.. hehe.." Jungkook looks away from you and your hoe-for-shy-boys side is just really to jUMp out of your skin and on him

"hey you tryna kidnap me or something" you smile, trying to ease his extrEMely visible tension thats being emitted from him in squiggly Iines like those in cartoons and stuff

but you're like honestly confused???when he keeps opening his mouth and closing it like a fish trying to breath in air

and as cruel as it sounds but you haTE it when someone interrupts your music sessions and its not an exception this time either,

even though the reason of interruption is extremely pretty and you're entertained just by looking at him

"...heyyy??"

"oh um... well..its just.."

"You know what nevermind Jungkook. I'll do the rest"

you look to your right and

its one of those boys

and boYY HE'S just as pretty as Jungkook if not more and you'd think you're drooling but actually you're quite a composed lady so you just normally very un-creepily look at him.

Composed lady my as-

"Hi I'm Namjoon. I'm Jungkook's friend. And I'm just here to-"

"Hi iM YOUR HOPE YOU'RE MY HOPE IM J HOPEEE"

"Hobi cAlm down you're not calling yourself that"

"hiii excujje meee I'm Jimin nice to meet you y/n"

"jimin calm down and get insi- TAE DON'T PUSH JIMIN LIKE THAT"

"GoddAMnit I'm being sqUISHED you guys let me breath-"

"ah sorry hyung but its y/nnnnnn"

"thats not an excuse to FRIGGIN KILL ME Jimin!"

"i said I'm sorry hyung but come out meet y/n"

"wait but let me breaTHsjnxxn hoBIII"

"GUYS CALM THE HECK DOWN YOU'RE SCARING HER" namjoon yelled.

wow

"umm we're really sorry. Please gimme a sec" and then he was like guys get the frick in or I'll personally kick your asses to the moon and it was supposed to be a whisper but you heard it lolol

So you're standing there like.. ok hi nice to meet you all Im y/n and wait how exactly do you know my name again???

"Jungkook talks so muc-"

"aaAAAHHHA BBBBSHHH ye ye i told them about you haha ye ye that's why they know" and he's like furiously sweating and stuttering and you're like waah ok ok calm down I don't want you having a heart attack or something good god

"Anyways, hi I'm Namjoon and I'm a friend of Kookie here" he smiles and OH THOSE GOOD FREAKING DIMPLES SOMEONE DROWN ME IN THEM

"kindly ignore these savages here" and you find that really funny so you're like "lolol that's fine XD XD haha" and smiling and all

The rest of them introduce themselves and by the end, your name just sounds unreal because of all the "hey I'm y/n"s and did i mention each of them is like.. a freaking living masterpiece?? and like so so sweet, except the Yoongi guy, he's a bit quite but you can't judge because you're like that most of the times too but you're an amazing person and so might be he .

then you ask them why they are here

"so actually, we're here because," he looks at Jungkook, "Jungkook is a coward."

"huh???"

"well you seem like a sweet girl and we decided we'd get Jungkook to ask you to hangout but he is of course a coward and thats why I had to pipe in to save him because Jungkook really likes you a lot an-"

"AAAAAAAAABABABA BALAKLAVA CHOCOLATE CAKE BANANA MILK yes hyung I'll handle this you leave" and he's just pushing all of them back in the van like a sack of potatoes despite their protests and then they just...take off??

What the-?

"ehh??"

"um..ijustwannaaskifyouwannahangoutsometimemaybeifyouwant" his eyes are closed and nose is crinkled and you just wanna SQUISH SQUISH SQUISH HIS GHADDAMNED FACE

"uh what?"

"i..i just wanna..askifyouwannahangoutsometime"

"umm?? Sorry could you please speak a tad slower??"

and he seems like he's suffocated now, like his ears are just red and sweating even more and honestly he's worrying you now

"dude you okay?? You seem really red. Here have some water" Dude. Yes. You're cool unlike those fanfic girlies with their blushing and stuttering. You're a complete badass actua-

He takes the bottle from your hand and gulps everything down and you're just like hey thats my water! but you gave it to him to drink so you can't really say anything

and okay he really seems like a fish who just got dropped in a bowl of water after being on land for 3 days

yea wait that won't work he'd die so like

he really seems like a fish who got dropped in water after being on land for like 3 minutes

So ok he seems human now

"yes you were saying?"

"Uh...do you..um.. would you wanna hangout sometime? If you're free that is.. only if you want to though" and he's like blushing a little and just so cute and you just nsndnfnfkwk

But you're also like OoO

"i-i mean d-dont worry its not like a date or anything i mean if you want it can be a date but i don't think you want that so like its just normal two people hanging out and its just like I really like you you're really cute and i just wanna hangout and just-" he takes a deep breath

"uhh.." you look down.

He just kinda confessed to you so you're kinda ?!?!?!?! right now but you also don't like dating and stuff because? Why would you waste your time on someone when in the end you're gonna just get your heart broken and like, yea that might not happen but you'd just rather sleep

But like, this weird voice at the back of your head says that you should go for it even though you're breaking your rules but like rules are made to be broken you know but you're also scared but you really don't wanna say no to him cos

well you kinda maybe a little bit like him ok?

"uumm.." your brain still can't form coherent sentences

"it's ok. Don't worry." He says and you look up and he has this sad expression and you're like NXNFFDND DON'T BE SAD PLEASE HEAR ME OUT but of course you say that in a more composed way

Ms. Composed lady

"no Jungkook that's not what i mean um.. actually.." so you explain how you think its a waste of time and stuff and you also explain that you really really really wanna get to know him more

"so..can you give me some time? Please?? So at least I can have you as a friend if you don't like me anymore later??" and he seems to be thinking and you blurt out the first thing that comes to mind

"I'll take you for ice-cream!!" and that seems to convince him

"and banana milk too??"

"sure"

And the sweetest little smile dawns on his lips and he's just nodding his head and you're just UwU

"but you finished all my water though."

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