#i'm ashamed to even tell y'all what i've been thinking about this time

[wishingforatypewriter]

Not me on the precipice of shipping my OC with a canon character. 😭

#ocs #send help lol #i'm ashamed to even tell y'all what i've been thinking about this time

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

careless whisper

♡ STEVE HARRINGTON'S MASTERLIST ♡

❁ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❁

﹆ Summary : you loved him with all your heart but he became unfaithful and there's nothing that he can do to mend it, is it really your last dance together?

﹆ Word Count : and again hoping it's not that too long for y'all

﹆ Warnings : 18+ MDNI‼️KingSteve! x FEM!reader, cursing, Steve and reader are both (18), unprotected sex, p in v penetration, both oral receiving, SMUT‼️, slight public sex I guess?, Steve will be so oblivious with readers feelings, cheating, unrequited love, friends to lovers, emotional abuse, tolerating, no use of y/n, not going to give any spoilers in here but beware that this will be ANGSTY!

﹆ What to Expect : SMUT‼️, FLUFF‼️, ANGST‼️, Steve and reader are the IT couple on Hawkins High, of course- by the term "King Steve" you know what that means, sorry ✌🏻

﹆ Note To Reader : Y'ALL BABY'S FIRST EVER STEVE HARRINGTON FIC!!!! AHHHHH <3 I'm so excited to spill all of my ideas about my first ever fave character from the show! and yeah I also apologize that I chose to do angst first 😔🤚🏻

﹆ Author Note : this is literally one of my favorite songs from George Michael and don't come at me, okay?!? I was just listening to this song and I was like why is this so Steve coded?!? AND YUP IT CLICKED AN IDEA!!!! ;))

Present : Prom 1984

"How are you holding up?" He asks as he tries to look at your eyes but you're avoiding it

"Been alright" you say as you look at him very briefly, your touches with him as you both swayed in the dance floor it felt different

His heart sunk when you couldn't even look into his eyes in the same way again

The eyes that are once so dreamy when you both locked in

He can tell that you're still moving on from him

He can tell that your eyes speaks louder than words

He can tell that you're still hurting because of him

Past : He shouldn't had an affair with someone else

"Diana, she isn't-"

"I know"

Steve is staggered as he swallows nervously in front of you, he wishes to be sucked down deeply on the floor and never to be seen again

He's ashamed for himself

He doesn't understand the meaning and the idea of love until it hits him like a block of bricks

And it hit really hard to the point that right after he slept with the other woman that night after the party that you both went out

He realized he made a mistake

A huge mistake that "sorry" can never undo the damage to what he has been done

Once the trust is broken it can never be fixed

You know he had a choice not to choose to cheat on you

But you laugh in disbelief as you think about it

Oh, right, he's King Steve

He doesn't know feelings and wants to keep his title to stay relevant

"W-Wait, you knew?"

"Everybody at school knows about it, Steve" you tried your very best to mask your pained expression but he can see it

The look on your face pierces right through his chest as he gulps

You have every right to be mad at him

You have every chance to shout and yell at him

But you didn't....

You talk so cold like it doesn't even matter to you

He darts his eyes everywhere in the room as he spoke again "After all this time?"

You sigh tiredly "Yeah"

He shook his head at you as he couldn't believe what you just said

"How? H-How you look-"

"What- I look what?!"

"You look...fine"

You incredulously laugh "Of course, I've had to Steve, we both got a title to keep it stable, right?" You reply to him in a mockery way as he averts his eyes somewhere else

"If you knew then why are you still with me?"

You frown at his words as you take all the courage to not breakdown at him, to not show him that you're weak but you failed since....

You love him too much that it's okay if you break apart from him

"Because I love you, Steve! Why don't you get that?!?"

Your chest heaves heavily as you try to control your breath as you cried angrily but also filled with sadness and frustration

Steve gasps, the moment you snap at him and saw you for the first time like this

You've never showed your side of vulnerability, yes, you've told him a couple of glimpses of your life but never this

Now, his eyes burned with forming tears as he tries to close his mouth in shock

You loved him? No one has ever loved him truly before

"I loved you so much that I play pretend so I can keep you!" You hiccupped into your own tears

"I loved you too" he said it out loud before he can stop himself, you saw how his eyes widens when he realizes what he just said

It's like a record scratch, you stare at him with your tear-stained cheeks as you studied his face

You blink, "What?!?"

"I've been drawn to you ever since we we're friends"

"S-Steve" you shift on your stance

"You're the only friend that I've ever had, who knows me better than I do"

You throw your palms on your face as you continue to sob

You're both dating for almost 2 years but why does he have to betray you to make him realize that he is in love just like you?

"Is this true?" You quietly say as you wipe away your tears

"Yes, it is" he walks closer to you but you moved away giving him the signal that you don't want him to hold you

"I-I tried to ignore the signs before that I thought maybe you- you just wanted this for to gain something"

What the fuck?

"Is that all really matters to you? Steve? don't you even think about how much I've suffered to maintain my sweet-like personality whenever we walked in the hallways?!?"

He thought maybe if he confessed his true feelings to you, everything will go back to normal

But it doesn't....

Not even the truth will bring the both of you comfort

Pain is all there ever is

"I've wanted to scream and I'm so tired to act like everything is okay, I really really wanted us to last, Steve"

"Turns out it was just only me who wanted to have a future with you"

The words just rolls out of your bitter tongue and it's a punch to his gut

"N-No, that isn't true" he begs

"You lost me, Steve, you had your chance and you blew it" you sniffle

Before he can say anything, you left him alone in his house as his eyes are still glued at the closed door hoping that you'll come back

But you never ever did

Future : if only he's loyal to you this wouldn't happen

You endured every single thing that his friends talked about you

Talked about, you're not fit into their world

Saying that "she doesn't belong here" but you didn't care because why?

You loved him

You love Steve Harrington despite what everyone else says

You don't care about titles

You don't care about these social cliques

You just wanted to have good friends and well, maybe love

Everybody adored you at school saying that you're the sweetest and kindest popular girl, it's actually rare for them to have those qualities because most of them are fucking assholes

You even overheard some other people like how did you even get into this situation?

Back in 1982, you're a new kid at school and you somehow manage to get into King Steve's heart without any hassle

You wished you've only stayed as friends

So, this wouldn't have hurt this much

"Steve!"

"What?"

"You know I'm ticklish!"

"I don't know" he feigns innocence and he still continues torturing you into your side as he towers over you as you lay at the grass with a blanket on his backyard

"Stop!" You say with a breathy laugh

He chuckles when you pout at him holding the both of his wrists "Okay, okay"

There's a moment that both of you halted over your silliness at each other

He never felt anything like this before

His heart is beating so loud that he could hear it throbbing on his ear

Your eyes went everywhere to his face

He is absolutely so beautiful up close like this

You're the first one to break the whatever that was

He nods as he runs his fingers through his hair as he watches you

He is so thankful that he has someone like you

You've never judged him, you let him know that emotions are valid that he can always count on you

You comforted him on his darkest days, you're the sunshine that help him to forget his absent parents

You feel so sorry for him when he told you he's alone most of the time in his enormous house

Yeah, maybe he's wealthy but he did not once felt happy until you came along

You're like an angel, he knows that he made the right decision to sit next to you at English Class, that's where it all began your newfound friendship

A part of him is afraid at that time you might back out if you found out that he's King Steve and his reputation at school

He is surprised that you didn't knew anything about him and that gives him a relief

After everything crashed down, now, you wished you knew all about him that's how he thinks about love

It's all just fun and games to him

You cursed at yourself for being so lovesick

A smile grows on his lips as watches you ate cherries on the vanilla milkshake that he make for you, it's your favorite

The whipped cream went on the sides of lips as you take a sip from the straw

He swiped it using his thumb and you blushed at his sudden action

He licked it off clean as you watch him

He catches you staring, there's a unreadable gleam on your eyes that he didn't not quite understood yet

Steve can't even register that he's moving closer to you and you froze as you hold your milkshake tightly as he cradles your cheek

He runs his tongue over his lips as his eyes stare at your rosy lips

He moves inches closer and your breath hitches, your mouth is slightly open as you look at him

He gave you one last look before he dive in

Your lips are now connected to his as he pulled you closer to him, he snatches your milkshake away as he puts it down as you start squirming and shut your eyes as you throw your arms around him

He smiles through the kiss as he deepens making you moan and his heart flutters at the sound of it, your hand crawls through his perfectly styled hair and he made a guttural groan at your move as you tug it slightly

His hands went at your waist as he squeezes it, the touch is overwhelming and your skin feels on fire everytime he grabs and graze his fingertips under over your clothed body

He slowly made you lay down beneath the blanket as you spread your legs to position himself on top of you

Your heart had never been this so fast, he tilts his head over the side as you yelp when his hands went under your skirt he starts toying with the garter of your panties, he smirks through the kiss

He cuts off your heated make out session as he removes his shirt and his eyes widens when you chase his lips as he pecks on it, you blink at his bared chest as you became flustered yet again, your fumbled panicky with the buttons of your blouse but he halted you as you let him undress you

It reveals a red lacy bra as he wolfishly whistles and you playfully slapped his chest as you duck your head down in a shy manner

God, why you gotta be so adorable?

He uses his index finger and his thumb to lift your chin to make you look at his gaze as you finally take him in

His cheeks are flushed, his hair is a mess and both of you are matching the same looks

The look that he's giving you, it's enough to make your mouth run dry and the wetness is pooling between your red lacy underwear

It doesn't take him too long to kiss your lips once again as he rises up slowly to undo his belt and his pants along with his boxers

He unclasps your bra as he throws on the side doesn't really matter where it lands as your hands when back onto your skirt to unzip it as you shimmy down and put it away

He reaches at your red lacy underwear but the moment he struggles to get it off, he starts to get impatient he snaps it just right about where your knees making you squeal

"I'll get you a new one, don't worry, baby" he growls as his hot kisses went everywhere on your chest and you can tell that he is hesitant to touch you

He doesn't even know if you wanted this but as if you can read his mind, the second thoughts were erased as you told him

"Steve, it's okay, you can touch me"

You breath heavily with his kneading your breasts as he plants smearing marks on your neck hitting that sweet spot making you mewl

He pats your thigh as a signal to wrap it on his hips

He holds your waist aggressively you know it will be bruised and it turns you on even more

You gasp as you can felt his tip intruding your tight hole as you can feel him entering smoothly along with your juices and arousal

It doesn't even needed a lubrication, he is drenched because of you

"Jesus Christ, y-you're dripping wet" he grunts as he watches your cunt devouring him as he can see your eyes fighting to stay open

He smirks as he fills you all the way up, you throw your head onto the side as you bit down your bottom lip

"S-Steve, please move"

He is so big to make you scream as you finally adjusted to his size and felt comfortable with pain and pleasure

He puts the other leg down as he lifts the other one as he puts over his shoulder and pulls you down closer to him that earned a whimper from you

He starts rutting in and out slowly, he hasn't even done anything and yet, it's driving you crazy

The squelching noises, the slamming back and forth with his slow pace as you start clenching around him

"Goddamn it, baby, you gotta stop doing that" his mouth is hanging open and already knows what heaven feels like

This is heaven

He doesn't ever want to leave

"M-Move f-faster" you stuttered between soft moans as you pawing at his hairy covered chest as he begins to go rough on you

Your hand flew over as you slapped and covered your mouth as your breasts start to jiggle from his movement, he tear off your hand as he pins it down

"Don't be shy on me, I wanna hear you loud and clear"

You whine and arched your back as he start to held both of your arms to go along with his neck as he pulls you even more further making him go deeper inside of you as you throw your head back and you gave him his wishes

You moaned beautifully as he devilishly smirks as he kisses you again but this time is filled with lust and teeth began to clash

Your whole body feels lumpy as both of you went back down as he raises both of your arms over the top of your head as he pounds at you placing kisses all over your face

You watch him down below as he fucks you ramming his way so easily

Your eyes rolls back as your high pitched moans went "ah-ah-ah" he feels so fucking great to hear those coming out of you because he's the one that made you feel like this

"So tight, baby, you're killing me"

"S-Steve, don't sto-p"

You wrap your legs around him as you tangle at him along with his body to push him down

"Oh shit!" he exclaims as his eyes darkens

You giggle but the time when he fingers touched your clit and you shudder

"Not so funny are we now, baby?" He bullys your clit earning a lewd noises falls from your lips

You nod at him pathetically as you matched his movements making him chuckle darkly

He lets go of your hands as he hooks his hand under your knees as he sheathes himself inside of you

You started babbling at him saying "S-Steve- fuck! That's it right there!" You shouted out loud but not without a moan

Yes, this is what he wanted

Let the neighbors hear you that he's the one who giving you this sweet pleasure

He thrusts as you shake your head begging for a release

"Yes, baby, I know, just let it go, I got you"

"ah-Steve!-oh"

You moan wildly as you chant his name as you came undone

He spills his load painting your flesh walls white

Your legs are trembling and you're shaking badly as he lazily smile as his spent body went boneless on top of you

You embrace him with your warmth along with your tangled legs as you kept him in place

His eyes go big when he realizes he had done something, you felt him became tense as you hold him softly by his shoulder blades

Despite, the fiery sex that you just both had, you're still in that haze but you remembered that both of you just did that on his backyard is making you feel fuzzy

He carefully rips himself off of you as he start scrambling to get on with his boxers

You immediately missed his scent on you

You furrow your brows as you watch him run off with that worried look on his eyes

You didn't have the time to wear your discarded clothes as you chose to grab his towel that is hanging around the lounge chair that he uses when he wants to take a dip from his swimming pool, you covered it with your naked body

"Steve! Wait- what is it?" You asked him with concern his heart feels booming inside of his chest by the tone of your voice

You really did care about him

This is all too good to be true

You followed him as he moves the sliding the door as he went outside he stopped once he's in there

You stare at behind his back and insecurities are now lurking in the shadows

Did he regret it?

Just run off and never look back save yourself from rejection

But you didn't instead, you touched his shoulder softly as he melts with it, you call out to his name again, you swore you heard him crying

He slowly turns his body around facing you and now you met Steve's eyes with threatening tears that are about to fall

"O-Oh my god, Steve? Are you okay?- Tell m-"

"W-We didn't use protection- and I-" he croaked up in his own tears

"I came inside of you and I didn't even asked you first that if you wanted this to happen" he motions at the two of you and you can see the guilty look from his eyes as he rests his forehead against with yours

Your eyes softens as it starts become glossy

Did he ruin your friendship?

Did he broke the last precious thing that meant a lot from him?

"Steve, it's fine, I've wanted you to"

His blinked the tears away just to see your face clearly

"Y-You wanted it?" He says as he holds your hands raising it closer to his face as he kisses it

You take a deep breath through your nose as you brave enough to confess your feelings

"I wanted you more than as a friend, Steve"

The swallows the lump on his throat as his chest eases out from tension

"The truth is that I love you, Steve" a fallen tear as you smile at him

Your eyes are shining with so much affection that he doesn't have before and it scares him

He shakes his head in disbelief as he watches you hug him

"You don't have to say anything, I just wanted you to know that I do, I am really in love with you"

He squeezes his eyes shut to your words as he hugs you tightly as he rests on the crook of your shoulder

He finally got what he wanted all of his life

Until, he realizes it was too late

He was too late for him to figure it all out, when you finally made up your mind that you want him in the first place

You loved him too early, he loved you too late

Aftermath : you can't ever lie to yourself that you still want him after how he treated you harshly

As much as you wanted to cling on to him and keep things the way they were

You know what's best for you

You know it's the right thing to do

You know deep down to your soul that you don't want this to end

But this is all too much for you, too much for you to bear

The agony, pain, sorrow, disappointment, heartache, if you continue this, you will be miserable

You want it keep it going, hell, if he asked you to marry him, you would, fuck, he might not even finished saying the lines, you will say "yes" to everything

But his heart is elsewhere, his mind is remains afloat

You got your heart and your soul devoted to him, you gave your most sacred value, your body

Only to be wasted to be washed away down the drain

But still, you've never regret doing it to him,

But no matter what you do, no matter how many times he apologizes to you, sure, you can see it that he despised his fault for your failed relationship

It isn't feel right and it isn't working

You can't see and look at him in the same way before, all you can see is....

It's deceitful, it's making you so angry but you will never show how hot-headed you are

Because, yet again, you loved him, no matter how you wanted to scratch his face out of madness

He is intimidated by your whole sense of nonchalant micro expressions but he knows behind that mask

You're upset

You know it yourself that you've done everything that you could ever give to him

You conclude in your own thoughts alone that you aren't enough for him

There might be sprinkle of insecurity that you wanted to brush it off but that's what you feel

You supported him, take care of him, you've been a good listener, you've been a loving girlfriend of his that in other people lenses

You're just an eye candy

Now, you understand what you've gotten those sympathetic eyes on you at school

Because this is all what comes down to....

You're just another girl that he got himself a jackpot to his prize

Just another trophy to his collection that he just....slept with you and he'll do it again after to the next girl that he got eyes targeted

Despite at how brutal that sounds

You will always love him

Back to Prom 1984

You can feel everyone's eyes on the both of you

You're dancing together at the center of the dance floor

They knew about you and Steve's relationship and the infidelity that he has done

They knew about the bond that is going to fall apart

Steve thought that the music is far from being too loud, he is getting overwhelmed by it, he wants to turn it off and leave the premises with you where he feels safe

Now, he is slipping off with your delicate fingers, the only sanctuary that he has ever given and he knows that he is fucking lucky to have you

He wished that the both of you could lose this crowd

"Let's go outside"

"N-No, S-Steve- No"

He ignores your protests and he tugs at your hand leading you out of the dance floor as he tries to scrape you off your feet and dragged you outside

The students starts whispering all around

He is surprised that you let him hold you

You let him intertwined your hands with his

He pushes you outside first slowly and he closes the door behind him, the music blurs out

You wrap your arms around yourself the night chilly air hits your delectable skin as the fairy lights from the streets makes you look glowy

He sadly sighs as he finally had the chance to look at you like this again

This is the only time that he saw what's in your eyes, god- is this what he trying to dodge? what is he thinking? all he wanted is to punch himself for cheating on you

All he can see the remnants of your undying love to him on your eyes but also mixed with a cloud of gloominess

He fucked up big time

He removes his coat as he tries to give it to you

"I don't want your coat" you step away as you sternly look at him

He ignores again, your remark as he places his coat around you

"What should I do to gain back your trust, please tell me" his hazel eyes pleads for you and your eyes burning from the tears forming

Your chest tightens, you don't want to have this conversation again

You know it'll ended up so raw and you feel exposed by your feelings and the worst case

The transparency of your emotions

The seconds as he awaits for your reply, the music from the gymnasium dies

You look at him that he doesn't ever wanted to see

It terrifies him horribly as he begins to cry in front of you as you did too

"Oh, god- please no" his voice starts breaking and your heart shattered at the sound of it

He knows exactly the meaning behind your melancholic eyes

It's all sad goodbyes

"Steve, maybe it's better this way" you say as you held his cheeks as he presses himself against it at the palm of your hands as he kisses it

"No, it's not-"

He knows that you aren't a fool to this any longer, he knows what's about to happen but he can't help but beg for you to not leave him

You rip your hand out of his cheeks as he already misses your touches

You hated how fast you feel powerless over him whenever you talked to him like this

You hated how easily that he can get to touch like nothing happened

But, not this time, not anymore

You're trusting your gut, you listen to your inner voice

"Steve! If we pick up where we left off, we'd just end up hurting ourselves and it will hurt a lot more of the things that we wanted to say to each other"

"Don't say it like that- I promise that'll be better, I'll prove it to you"

You slam your lips over his and he can't help but feel the same butterflies on his stomach that he once ignored, you kissed him like it was your last breath

There's a voice inside of his head that says he something is bad is about to happen

God, if he could only turn back the time and he'll make things right

"Don't let this get over with your head, I am giving you one last dance, one last touch and one last kiss"

"N-No, please- don't let go-"

"I'm saying that this is goodbye, Steve"

"W-We could've have been so good together, we could've have this dance forever"

You smile sadly, "I wish you thought about that before you crossed me" he watches you as you take off his coat from your shoulders

Your heels hits the pavement as it starts clicking as you walked away from him

He chases you as he hugged you from behind, you breakdown in tears again, he rests his head over your shoulder as he sniffled

"Please stay"

"You will always have my heart, you know it belongs to you ever since, Steve, and I'm always going to love you, but I have to go" you caressed his hand as you remove yourself from him as you take a look at him one last time

"I love you Steve Harrington, thank you for giving me how betrayal feels like" you humorlessly chuckle as he runs his hands over his face, he keeps shaking his head sideways

You kissed his cheek as he watches you with those tired eyes, of course, you can notice everything, the dark circles surrounding his eyes

He hasn't gotten any sleep like you do

He can't sleep properly because of you

His mind and his heart screams at you

He wants you back on his life, but now, he's alone again

He hates himself and he knows what he did is unforgivable and unforgettable

"I'll miss you, take care okay?" You choke in your own tears as you fixed his hair for the last time, the kind gesture that he always admired, he can't believe that this is the last time

He holds both of your shoulders "I can't never love again, I only want you"

Your heart cracks piece by piece to his words

The time is running out, you need to move

"If you really love me you have to let me go, Steve"

He begrudgingly loosens his hold on you as he watches you walking towards your car, his eyes are fixated on you and you know it

You badly wanted to look at him again, but you decided against it, you don't even wanna leave him like this but it had to be done

He cries standing all alone on that night

You cried while driving home as your knuckles turn white as you grip on the steering wheel

He knows for a fact that he will never gonna dance again

The way he danced with you

#Spotify #steve harrington #steve harrington supremacy #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem #george michael #careless whisper #1980s #agirlwholovesrockstarsfics

[up-in-flames-writing]

Gods, I wanna talk about shame today.

I want to talk about fear & shame, & the anxiety that comes from shame.

I'd like to think I'm a shameless person. That I'm proud, that I killed that part of me that cringes years ago, but I haven't.

I'd love to believe that I'm like a rock, unable to be torn down, but even rocks erode under enough pressure & isn't that a quaint & overused metaphor, but that's part of my old shame I don't let bring me down.

But I feel so much fucking shame about who I am, as a transman. About my body, about my looks, about the way I present & hold myself, about my dreams & aspirations & fuck it, even about my fantasies & desires.

I've been harassed SO many times already, that I think by now my friends are sick of me telling them of yet another harassing ask I've been sent, or the latest argument I've gotten into about being trans.

I've become so fucking shy about sharing my experiences, of sharing my work & my stories & my thoughts & feelings with people I don't know & trust, & even with those I trust I find it so much harder to interact. I've been yelled at before in real life for daring to bring up my issues, been ignored by ciswomen in conversations about my very body type to the point I was scared to even remind them my body worked like that. I've been harassed by droves of r a d f e m s & what have you because I dared bring up my issues as a transman, I've had my way of speech, my beliefs, my disability, my sexuality insulted when those weren't even a part of the damn conversation. And still I somehow haven't blocked everyone who thinks its ok to send me passive aggressive asks, death & assault threats, & what have you, it's like there's a never ending drove of these sick fucks.

And fuck it, I'm ashamed. I'm ashamed that I love my body. That I'm excited to start T in July, that I want to get bottom surgery but not top, that I one day want to bring life into this world & be a dad. I'm ashamed & anxious & scared, even if you wouldn't be able to tell that just by looking at me. Because I stopped caring about how I dress, & started caring about how I look beneath my clothes & FUCK does it piss me off.

I envy everyone with enough bravery to put themselves out there every day, to put this shit out there with their whole chests, cause I'm not there yet, & I dunno when I will be there, I just know that it's a slow process & I will get through that process like I get through everything:

With anger & a smile, & ready to use my voice to yell.

Fuck y'all for making me feel ashamed.

#booker speaks #transandrophobia #transmasc #booker writes #this all started because i was too scared to post an innocuous fic with a transmasc character in it #i didnt use to be like this #i didnt use to be this scared & ashamed #the abuse & harassment got to me eventually & isnt that just so fucking sad #arent I just so fucking sad

[sydsaint]

My first Nick Wayne fic! Hope y'all like it. 💜

Nick has a hopeless crush on Darby's childhood friend and lets his feelings and doubts get the better of him rather than just telling the reader how he feels. Luckily for him, Darby is there to give him the push he needs.

The locker room is empty save for you and your various makeup supplies spread out on the table. You await the arrival of your long-time friend, Darby, and his new tagalong protege, Nick.

The door swings open a few minutes later and the tranquil peacefulness of the locker room is cut short. Darby walks through the door with Nick at his side, chatting with the younger male about something or other.

"Don't be so sure about that, Nick. She's got an open mind, alright?" Darby assures Nick about an unknown topic before he sees you. "Oh! Y/N, you're here early."

"Hey, Darbs." You nod. "Skye asked me to help her with her makeup so I've been here for a while." You explain.

Nick clears his throat next to Darby and waves at you. "Hey, Y/N." He smiles at you.

"Hey, Nickie." You smile back at him before turning your attention back to Darby. "Anywho. Any idea what you want for tonight?" You ask him. "I've got a few new ideas if you wanna see 'em."

Darby nods and you hand him your sketchbook. He rifles through the pages while you dig through your bag for your blacks, whites, and greys. Nick walks over to your side and flashes you another smile.

"How was your week, Y/N?" Nick asks you casually.

"My week?" You glance up from your bag at Nick. "Not much. The hair and makeup department had me working on Dynamite. So that was fun."

Nick nods and intently listens to your tale of working backstage on Wednesday. Darby glances at the two of you chatting and smiles to himself.

Nick has had a bad crush on you ever since Darby introduced the two of you a few months ago. At first, Nick was ashamed of his schoolboy crush. You are Darby's best friend after all. But after Darby drilled the poor kid about why he was always acting strange around you, Nick confessed.

Darby, of course, laughed at poor Nicks's perceived blight. Before he cut Nick some slack and explained that there is no chance of you and Darby being a thing. And that despite Nick's insistence that you wouldn't be into him due to the age gap, you've got an open mind when it comes to dating.

"Will you hold still please?" You grumble at Darby when you start working. "So, what about you Nick? What have you been up to? Darby isn't working you too hard is he?" You tease him.

"What? No! Darby is fine." Nick quickly insists with a shake of his head.

You giggle and focus back on the task at hand. "Well, you just let me know if 'ol blue eyes steps out of line." You joke.

Nick nods and lets you finish working on Darby's face paint. He sits by and watches the proximity of you and Darby and it brings out a jealous side in him that didn't know he had.

Sure, Darby assured him that there was nothing between you and him. But what about you? Could Darby be wrong? Or even worse, lying?

"There!" You take a step back from Darby once you've finished your masterpiece. "It was hard work, but I think that managed to make you handsome." You tease him with a laugh.

Darby chuckles and gets to his feet to finish getting ready. "Thanks, Y/N. It looks great, like always." He pulls you into a side hug.

"Of course. I hope you know that I'll be expecting payment." You joke with a laugh.

"Yeah. Put it on my tab." Darby laughs with you. "I'm gonna go grab Sting. I'll be back in a minute."

You nod and begin putting your stuff away. Darby heads out to find Sting and leaves you with Nick.

"So, you and Darby have been friends for a while now. Right?" Nick asks you once he is sure Darby is gone.

"Yep. Since we were kids." You nod. "He's like the brother I never had. Or wanted." You joke. "Why?"

Nick swallows hard and weighs his options. Does he confess how he feels while Darby is gone? Can he afford to take this risk?

"Nothing. It's just...you two are close." Nick answers you.

"Well yeah, like I said." You agree. "He's like my brother."

Taking a leap of faith, Nick cleara his throat and replies. "And what about me?" He asks you.

"What about you?" You reply.

"Do you like me, Y/N?" Nick asks you. "Like...do you think we could ever be more than just friends like you and Darby? Because I like you. And I know that I'm young but I-"

You put a hand up and silence Nick's rambling. "Nick! Nick! Slow down." You ask him. "I like you too, you know? And by that I mean, not like I like Darby." You explain.

"Really?" Nick goes wide-eyed.

"Yeah, why not?" You shrug. "You're cute, and passionate about your job. Besides, you aren't that much younger than me."

You watch the smile on Nick's face spread across his face. Darby pops back into the room seconds later and looks between the two of you.

"You two ready?" He asks you and Nick.

"Yep." You nod and walk to the door. "Come on Nick, let's go." You reach for his hand before dragging him out of the room.

Nick wears a goofy smile as you drag him out the door. Darby watches the two of you leave and chuckles to himself. 'She's going to eat him alive.' He thinks to himself.

Sting steps next to Darby and chuckles as well. "The kid finally told her about his crush then?" He asks Darby.

"Looks like it. Finally." Darby nods.

#wrestling #aew #all elite wrestling #aew dynamite #nick wayne #darby allin #aew fanfiction #aew fanfic #aew fic #hes such a cutie #my baby boy #love him

[0w0tsuki]

(Screenshot.The post this is from is three posts below if people need it for reference)

It's always pathetic to me whenever chuds on here try to frame their purity cult No Kink at Pride bullshit as "just thinking it's a little weird UwU"

Like oh you just have a personal squick? That's all it is? Oh I'm sorry! I thought people were drumming up weekly harassment campaigns, sending death threats/suicide bait, and socially murdering trans women over this! I'll be sure to leave you be yourself where you're not making your personal disgust other people's problems!

Get real.

Nobody cares about your personal squick. Nobody's saying "You HAVE to like incest, rape, and ageplay and masturbate to all three at once or else you're a transmisogynist!1!" people are asking to not turn your disgust into violence.

Like guess what? I Do Not Like Incest. Because of how society views any relationship between those perceived as a man and women through oppositional sexism, most of the time when people see a man and a woman together out in public they often come to the conclusion that the only reason they have for doing so is because they are in a romantic relationship. This resulted in me and my sibling often getting mistaken for a couple anytime we went anywhere together before we both came out. One time an old man at a flea market tried to sell us BDSM handcuffs and continued to do so even AFTER we told him we were siblings.

Do I plaster "PRO-INCEST DNI" over my blog? Do I personally go out and harass anyone who posts incest? Do I go into anons to "warn" people of other bloggers being into incest. Do I go about mass reporting people who post about incest? Do I write/spread call-out posts for people who post incest?

FUCK NO

Hell I'll go one step further. I HATE sissy kink. I have personally talked about it in my blog about how I have been personally traumatized by it, how it set back my transition by years, and how I believe it ultimately does more harm than good to trasfem eggs. I have talked about how sissy communities prey on transfem eggs and purposely set up in spaces where transgirls who are discovering themselves the same time they are experiencing puberty and are having a harm time separating their trans awakening from their sexual one frequent and tell them that their trans existence is a sexual one that they should be ashamed and humiliated by. 80% of my notifications on my alternate kink account are cis men with sissy kinks ignoring my DNI. I've called it transmisogyny kink. I reject the notion that cis men with sissy kinks are TMA and there are trans women who I've unfollowed/blocked over this and I know there are trans women who have me blocked about my stance on this.

STILL. I keep all my hostility to myself. I will rant on my own blog about it. If a post trying to lump me in with cissies gets under my ass I will throw it underwater to rant about and keep it to a screenshot with their name cropped outreblog on another rant so it doesn't gain too much traction and leads to any harassment. The MOST confrontational I'll get is going into posts dedicated to discourse about it and arguing with people specifically signing up to argue about it.

You can be anti-something without being an Anti about it. It's called not liking a thing. It's called being a hater. I fucking wish y'all just "thought it was a little weird"

#call-out culture #callout culture #purity culture #transmisogyny

[excessive-vampires]

Dealing With Demons Chapter 3: What Could It Hurt Part 2: Cee

Masterlist with CW

Taglist: @demyxdancer @softvampirewhump

Aw, you guys had a bonding moment!

"That's not what this is about. It's about trying to be seen as an asset and not a nuisance. I'm still surprised they contacted me at all, especially after so long."

Still, I think the big bad demon might be making a friend, I joked.

"So what if I am?" Avi said without getting defensive. It always surprised me how easily they let go of their tough guy image, at least around me. "I need more friends, most of the time you're the only person I have to talk to."

And what's wrong with me? I added some mock offense to my mental tone.

"Nothing, nothing," they reassured me.

And you could always get in touch with Dezi again, I suggested. I want to meet her someday.

"I don't know. We didn't exactly part on the best of terms." They shuddered at the memory.

Okay, fine. All the more reason to be nice to Riley. Ooh if you and them become friends we can help with more cases!

"I barely helped with this one. I don't understand why you, of all people, are so excited at getting to play monster hunter."

Their legs worked hard as they sprinted across the street after pausing to check for traffic. They had teleported from their apartment to the Chinese restaurant to Riley's place, and now we were enjoying the evening as they walked back. I never would have been able to safely walk home after dark back when this body just contained a timid young woman, but now I could relax, knowing that the demon could easily take care of any attacker.

Blame the book series I read obsessively in middle school. Stuff from that age sticks with you.

"Hmm. Anyways, I think I might need to change tactics with Riley. I've been giving out a lot more info than I've been getting."

So y'all need to have more equal conversations.

Avi made a face at my use of the word "y'all." I thought about sticking my tongue out at them.

Next time you have to tell Riley something about demons, ask them something about the Bureau. Or other monsters. Or exciting things that they've done.

A laugh bubbled its way out of their mouth.

What? You get to have ulterior motives but I don't?

"Such desire for knowledge, I think you're starting to sound a little greedy."

Their teasing was about as effective as mine.

I'm not ashamed to admit it. There's a reason my summons called to you and not an angel of charity.

In front of a glass storefront window I asked them to stop so I could look at their reflection.

I think this outfit was a good choice on my part. You look great.

Their eyes rolled in response.

"This wasn't a date."

Yeah, but what you wear still makes an impression. Besides, I'm not the one who suggested we wear lipstick.

"It's not like it's red. Just dark pink. My face needed a pop of color." It got even more color as they blushed.

We looked over said face in the reflection and stopped when we reached their golden eyes.

I miss the blue.

"It was a very pretty blue."

I shook off my sudden melancholy. No use in wallowing about what I couldn't change.

Whatever, gold is pretty too. 

#dwd #cee pov

[viktors-still-beating-heart]

Uh content warning ig for me talking about really gross mould n probably tmi ED kinda stuff idk but it's nasty,,

DUDE. From my room I removed some mouldy dishes + some rubbish bc I'm moving out and I needed to remove them finally before my family tidy it while I'm gone.

It's rlly bad and the disgusting result of me struggling to tidy + bingeing + purging. Most of the time I find it hard to keep on top of clearing the dishes from my room since I eat and drink up there fairly often.

Occasionally I've left dishes for too long and they start to grow mould, if it's not too bad I'll do an intensive bleach-y clean on them while my family is out (idk if this is safe uh) or if it's real bad I'll just chuck them out. Also sometimes when I leave dishes it's because I've binged and I feel too ashamed to bring down the mass of post-binge dishes in front of my family, I don't want them to be concerned and I feel so gross for bingeing.

Also some of the time when I have binged I'll purge, and there's been a few times where I've just regurgitated the food back into the dish I'd eaten it out of (I'm so sorry, I need to vent this, good lord). Idek why I do this bc the toilet is so close and it just makes the tidying/leaving dishes issue so much worse bc I can't exactly bring down a fucking bowl of saliva and bile and food mush down to wash in front of my family.

It's always so bad and stupid, I can deal with it but still the mould really (I think understandably) freaks me out and it's just drenched in shame and asjfgkhdgfhj it's not fun and it's my fault entirely. It is interesting to see the different types of food mould tho lol, especially when it's purged stuff it reallyy makes mould thrive, delightful.

Anyway fucking I was throwing everything into a bin bag and I moved a box that was under my bed bc it had some broken mugs inside it that I hid but wanna try to repair. No big deal, but I see another (whole) mug that was hidden behind the box. Huh that's not good, idk why I hid that but it's almost definitely got mould in it. I put the box down and took a proper look at the mug.

What the fuck. Let me tell you that that thing was housing some godforsaken, unholy, horrifying entity. This absolute creature was like a fucking demon slowly creeping out and growing under my bed over an untold period of time, I'm so glad that it wasn't touching anything except its ceramic home. It had these long, glossy, black hairs all fountaining out and hanging over the edge of the mug. A deeply unsettling fungal wig spilling out, slithering out. Some of the hairs had small beads on them, and they were all growing out of this mysterious greyish mound at the bottom of the mug. Awful. This fungus has come from the deepest depths of hell and risen as a spectre to haunt me for my disordered wrongdoings.

Truly, what the fuck. At 5.30am I sealed its demonic body and soul into that bin bag and snuck through the house, out the back door, and across the gravel and wet grass to banish it into the bin. Thankfully I managed to get back inside into my room without my family waking up. I am relieved but shaken, holy shit lmao.

It's all good now ig and honestly pretty funny overall, quite an experience - typical ED shenanigans. I doubt any of y'all will be bothered to read this wall of text but goddamn, I just needed to write it all out somewhere. Hopefully the writing is alright bc I'm quite sleep deprived. Mental illness is cool. What even are eating disorders lmao, this is horrible. Hello if you read this, I hope it was worth it and not upsettingly nasty.

#tw ana shit #tw ed #edblr #ftm ana #ftm ed #male ed #trans ana #enby ana #nb ana #ana boy

[stayarmytinyzenmoa-l]

Quick post on how my life is going because AHH I'm reeling

TL;DR: I have a crush on this one guy (maybe) and he has a crush on me but I'm not technically supposed to know so SHH

More details under the cut

Look, okay, I know what this sounds like yeahhhh I mean, I met this guy last summer in chemistry when I picked him to be my unknowing academic rival (muahaha he still doesn't know this because he actually kicked my ass at pchem and I don't want him to know that). And that was really only because we were both commuters and usually I got to class first but for some reason he started getting to class first instead so it was just a way to keep myself entertained for that expedited hell class (recall that I had to go on semi-hiatus for that shit oh god)

But see, day one of pchem, I made a study group discord. And, yes, 10 people came in (one of which, if you recall, is the nice guy (derogatory) from [this] post, but this isn't about him). So a couple of us met a few times already then, one day, another person sends a message to the discord asking where our study room is. Me, being me, stood outside to flag him over and... imagine my shock... my unknowing academic rival. That's how we met, I kinda kept trying to bring him into the conversation to make sure he didn't feel left out because I could tell he's kind of introverted (takes one to know one) and ngl he was kind hot and lowkey my type so like YUHHHH another thing to keep me more entertained.

Some things led to others, the study group got closer (to the point that we're all in a friend group now except for the nice guy (derogatory) we all blocked him after pchem LMAOO) and we still hang out often now. Basically, we all bonded over the shared trauma that was that red flag dude mixed with pchem lmfao.

So to summarize those paragraphs, I've been crushing on this dude for almost four months now lmfao to the point that I started questioning if I really wanted to date him or if I was just wanting to be in a relationship I don't even know AHHHHHH

Anyway, yesterday was my birthday. Deal changer. It turns out all of my friends planned a surprise party for me and, allegedly, my crush (who I will now refer to as J), was really active in planning it (well they all were but still). So we had the small surprise party, and he offered to drive me to my car (fun fact, my university's parking lots are a whopping 15-minute walk from the main campus). So, considering it was late, I accepted. Anyway, yada, yada, he gave me my gift, took me to my car, and was off! I didn't think too much of it because it's kind of a normal thing for the both of us to walk each other to our cars because we park in the same parking lot and leave campus. Then I went to kbbq with my family and go drunk off my ass on soju (eight shots, I'm so ashamed).

But here's where the fun starts.

I was drunk.

I opened his gift when I got home, and oh gosh it was a couple of things and AHHH all together they're actually kind of expensive? I'm going to be honest buying gifts is something that lowkey stresses me out so whenever people ask what I want I just tell them money because whatever they got me for my birthday I feel like I have to get of equal value (and yes I understand that sounds bad but still). But it was just really sweet and ever since then, lowkey, he's kind of spending a lot of money on me like my man, J, pls, I need to pay you back somehow. Y'all don't understand, he walks me to my car at night, we study together, hell, he buys me food sometimes, I gotta pay him back some how!

But, and there's been a development, yes, that's right, my friends, J now lends me his hoodies when I get cold. I've done it, lads, I've done it!!! Also, okay, okay, not to be that person but long time followers know that I'm 4'11 (short queen), this guy is a whole foot taller than me, I swim in his hoodie, I love it, I've been spoiled, I want to experience that again, send help pls, but yes, that's like the main run down of it, AHHHHHH ah I don't know what to do-

#crys talks #personal

[hypnagogic-marshmallow]

Wanting to share something I've been thinking about a lot lately, and it involves my relationship to my own fanfiction as a neurodivergent individual.

Specifically, I have a lot of anxiety around sharing my fandoms with people. And sometimes I have a hard time telling someone I write fanfiction.

But I'm not ashamed of fanfiction! And I'm not ashamed of my fandoms, either! That's the weird part.

To me, fanfiction is a beautiful thing. It's accesible to everyone at every level of writing skill. It's a way to interact with and expand on a world or characters that we love.

So why am I like this??

This is where the neurodivergence comes in.

And it's less of a direct cause. More of my experiences surrounding it.

See, a few years ago (who knows how many time is an illusion) I got diagnosed with ADHD-PI. And just this year, I found out I have autism, too.

ADHD has hyperfixations, right? And autism has special interests. Which means for kid and teen Me, well...by their powers combined, I developed a rotating cast of Super Interests.

Games and show and subjects and topics that became comfort things. That gave me my dopamine fix and made me happy.

Fanfiction was one of those. I was already a constant daydreamer; fanfiction was a natural evolution of the things I loved.

The thing is, my extreme interest in things often became labeled as 'obsessions'. Not a bad word inherently, but one that has baggage for me. I learned when people around me used that word, they didn't often mean it in a good way. I did everything I could to avoid being called 'obsessed'.

As a result, I became very guarded about the interests I shared with others. I still struggle with it.

For instance, I'm very active on the NaNo forums! But I change the names of any fandom characters to random shit before I post! Not because I'm ashamed of my writing or my main fandom, but because I'm so fucking scared that if I'm just honest about what I like, someone is going to come along and break it. They're going to ruin a thing I love.

I don't think this is a rational fear; I've never ever seen anyone pick on anyone else over a fandom there.

It's just a hold-over from a younger me, who learned to hide the things most important to them so someone couldn't come along and break them.

This got long, and I don't really know if there's a point here. I guess...if this strikes a cord with anyone, or someone is struggling with similar feelings...

Just a reminder that it's okay to care deeply about things, even if others around you don't. It's okay to have passions. It's okay if those passions change, or if you've had the same ones since you were a kid.

I know just saying that doesn't fix anything, but...I hope it can make it a little better. :)

Happy hobbying, y'all.

#writing #writeblr #neurodivergence #past experiences #nanowrimo #autism #adhd #fanfiction #wow my first longpost #if you read all of it you get a gold star #if not thats ok i get it #my main fandom is she-ra and the princesses of power btw #so i guess this is my fandom coming out post

[jesusatmysix2-allgodspennies]

Watch "Vicious Clap Back To Man Who Brags About Having 30 Kids! #shorts" on YouTube

Niggas is playing cheap.... Suave, debonair wit the white chicks, but in all you just a creep. All you young niggas wanna battle me. Cause my truth is, you try'in to change the face of reality. And it may take twenty years to surface your mistake. By then my nigga, it's gonna be too late. Leaving sister behind to raise little boys, but today! It don't even matter! You too damn pathetic to teach your son how to climb The Ladder. White and tasty, quick on the dick. I'm trying to tell you nigga, the shit is a trick.

Tell you what prompted this post:

Riding the bus last night, this white(she)/black(he) couple got on the bus. Nice looking couple. But almost immediately this cunt gave off the vibe of, "look at me, Im the shit and with the finest nigga in town." Dude had one of those baby girl faces, about 6'4".

I never really looked directly at them. But I can watch four different directions at one time. And almost immediately she spotted me. So, before they could even sit down, she leans towards him and lets him know my presence. He glances, and they sit. The bitch sit directly in front of me. So, she spent her entire ride encased in her self righteous vanity thinking that I'm watching her. You know I tend to think out loud, "bitch grow up!" So, her posture becomes indignant and she shifts towards her left.

What got me though was this asshole young whigger. He's not paying any attention to me or this catty bitch. But when they went to get off. Dude looks down at me, "hghh!" I never looked at or acknowledge his presence.

Ive said it before, and I reiterate..... "Black males here in Maricopa County who are ashamed of their colour, believe they can change the dynamics of white acceptance by making mulatto babies. I've heard them speaking on it for years. In the same regard, whites are grabbing opportunity to create a more acceptable black race." I stand on my convictions!

1. I've never said or written anything against black and white couples. What I have said, is the shit that's going on here is "TRENDING", and love ain't got shit to do with it. These niggas know, these white whoes will suck a dick quicker than a black woman. Plus, they like being Mommied!

2. For decades I've been listening to black males talk and preach about black people being God's chosen race. So, why are you same spineless ass black males trying to change the dynamics of God's divine order?

3. When they see while with their black spineless whigger, white whoes try to rub their arrogant smelly shit in my face. Bitches! A whore is a whore! I don't have a rats ass if you go to New York and lick salt from a kangaroos ass in Macy's window for the world to see. These black mfr's that lay up with y'all and y'all's EBT cards are mfr's that don't no real sister wants. All y'all dumbasses are is ghetto rubbish removal. Love Ain't Got Shit To Do With It! Enjoy sucking that dick! Enjoy eating that build up underneath the foreskin of that white clit BRO!

Good luck in the future!

[readyforthegarden]

idk if I requested this or not cuz I really can’t remember but I was wondering if you could use the prompts

“i love you. every single thing about you.”

and

“you don't need to change any part of yourself for anyone.”

for a body positive (stomach thighs and etc stretch marks, tummy, etc) jake x plus sized reader sensual fluff ?

Y'all are COMING for me with these emotional prompts. So, as a plus-sized woman myself, writing this was very interesting. I've worked on loving myself and the body I'm in for a really long time, and it's still a struggle, even on days when I'm super confident. I hope anyone reading this takes away from it that ALL bodies are beautiful and deserving of respect and love.

Warnings: Negative body image talk, talk about sexual acts.

You sighed, a frown tugging the corners of your mouth. Jake looked up from his book, turning his head to look at you.

"What's wrong?" you pulled your eyes away from the tv screen across the bedroom, then looked at him questioningly.

"What?" you asked, puzzled. Jake chuckled.

"You sighed, and you look like someone kicked a puppy." he explained. "That usually means you're upset about something."

"Oh, I didn't even realize." you glued your eyes back to the screen, watching the waifish, 19th century women dancing with dashing, emotionally unavailable men. Jake watched your frown set back in and he closed his book, setting it on his nightstand and grabbed the remote, pausing the movie.

"What's going on in that brain of yours, love?" he asked softly, turning to face you in the bed. His brown eyes shown in the Sunday afternoon sunshine that filtered in through the windows. You picked at the cuticles of one of your fingernails, and he pushed again. "Please tell me."

"Those women are so beautiful." you sighed. "They're elegant, and pretty, and small." Jake's eyes watched your face fall farther with the last word. Being plus-sized, your body has always been a sensitive subject, and while Jake didn't care about your weight or size, it was something you were acutely aware of, especially when nasty messages from his fans were able to reach you.

"Those are actresses who go on heinous diets to fit into clothing that's made impossibly too small." Jake reasoned. You rolled your eyes, knowing he was right, but your mind had already started it's journey down the body hate highway.

"But don't you wish I didn't look like this?" you asked softly, a lump forming in your throat as you pinched one of your belly rolls. "That I was skinny and pretty, like Sam's girlfriend. Or like some of the girls that throw themselves at you at your shows?"

"No." Jake said simply. He stood up from the bed and moved around to your side. Yanking the covers from you, he grabbed your ankles and pulled you farther down the bed, so you were laying flat on your back. He crawled above you, only stopping when you were eye-to-eye. "I don't want Sam's girlfriend, or anything like her. I don't want the girls that throw themselves at me. I want what I have. You."

"Jake-"

"Hush." he commanded softly. He placed a quick kiss to your lips. "What do you see when you think of yourself? Tell me honestly." you sighed, trying to think of the the first thing you disliked about yourself.

"I see fat. I see rolls and stretch marks and scarring. I see ugliness, and thunder thighs and disgust." you felt tears spill down the sides of your face as you laid there, watching Jake take in the cruel words you said about yourself. After a few moments, he licked his lips, a flame lit behind his eyes.

"It pisses me off that you can't see yourself how I see you." he said, his voice still soft, but there was an edge to it, and you could tell he was being truthful. "You're so fucking beautiful, I don't know how you can't see it." he pushed up the old t-shirt you wore as pajamas, pawing at your round, plush tummy. "This? This is your stomach. You see it as something gross, to be ashamed of. I see it as one of the most wonderful parts of you. I see it as the place, one day, where you may carry our future children. It's beautiful." he pressed kisses all around your stomach. "I have stretch marks on my belly too," Jake murmured. "So if you hate yours, you must hate mine."

"Jake, no." you shook your head, sniffling. "Everything about you is perfect." he ignored your plea, continuing down your body.

"Ooh, these thighs." he ran his nose across the insides of your thighs, spreading your legs and nestling between them. "These thick, glorious thighs, that keep me wrapped up tight inside you." you felt a quick heat rush through your body, your thoughts flickering to your lovemaking the night before. "I love when you're about to cum and you squeeze my head so tight between them. If I died between them, it would be the perfect way to go."

Jake lifted himself up, his hands rubbing up and down your body, softly, sensually as he crawled back up to face you again. He kissed you slowly, pouring all his love and adoration into you as his tongue lapped against yours.

"I love you. Every single thing about you." he told you as he pulled back. Your watery eyes watched as he smiled, and he brushed your hair away from your face. "You don't need to change any part of yourself for anyone. Not me, not anyone. If you want to change, I will stand by you and support you. But only if you're doing it for the right reasons. Not to make me or anyone other than you happy."

You nodded, sniffling again as he kissed all around your face, making you finally break through with a smile and giggle. His lopsided grin was back in place at your laughter.

"I love you," you whispered. "Thank you, for seeing what I can't."

"You'll see it." Jake smirked. "I know it." After a sweet moment between you, he suddenly grabbed you, rolling until you pinned underneath him on his side of the bed now. "Now, I've been hard since I touched your thighs, and I saw your hips flex when I mentioned you squeezing me. Why don't you wrap me up in them again, baby?"

#writing prompt blurb #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka #jake gvf #greta van fleet imagine #greta van fleet #greta van fic #jake kiszka fluff

[rosesastrology]

Do you have any tips on improving your mental health?

As always, the standard answer I give you is therapy and/or coaching. But as for my personal experience, I have a few things. Even so, know everyone is different!

Work on identifying the emotion that's bothering you most. Emotions are like plugs to your motivation to do anything, the brain tries to be efficient. It doesn't necessarily try to do what's good for you. Note that 'dumb' is not an emotion! No, neither is 'stupid'! Work from core emotions: Shame, guilt, anger, sadness, grief, shock, joy, etc. You can still keep those other words in mind, but yeh

Notice if your mind tells you particular things about yourself or you act in ways that insinuate certain things about you. As in, "I can always be better" is sometimes just "I'm not good enough" wrapped in sugar. Now notice that the concept of "good enough" has been taught to you, and there is no real "enough", etc. You can work from these sentences and it's really weird, and will take time before you notice it. All these emotions come from a time and place when they were adaptable and needed. And sometimes your core issue is also your driving point. I've met so many successful people who are successful because they hate themselves and can't afford to take a break, because they always feel like failures or like theyre behind the curve. The reason it stays is because it drives them to be better in the material world, to demonstrate their worth, to prove their mind wrong over and over. It's a game that can't be won. Even so, it's adaptive, and in a way it helps them.

When did you start feeling [that way]? When were you taught to feel [that way]? When was doing that toxic thing helpful for you? How does it help you? Who taught you it? Are there memories coupled to it?

If you notice you have repressed emotions, it's healthy to process those in a manner where you still try to hold compassion towards yourself. Meditation also helps (in my experience) with loosening up those emotional knots. Don't try to process all your traumas or emotions at once, give yourself time and space between it. Emotional processing is very tiring.

Even when you notice you have an issue, or notice what you're doing is bad, know that it probably won't change overnight. All you have to do at first, is notice it. Notice what emotion is driving your actions, what memory. And then you can be like "This is 6 y/o me who is trying to protect me, because I was told I was never good enough by my parents at that time." And u can even comfort yourself like "Bro, I know you're looking out for me but we're safe now and you're here. I'm proud of you." Idk, talking to myself in 2nd person feels less cringy to me than 1st person. Also, that example was random and not personal/disclaimer dhkdkd. If you can't be nice to yourself, you can be neutral! "No 6-year-old deserves to feel ashamed of themselves."

When you learn to be nicer and more compassionate towards yourself, eventually you cultivate a nice voice. Sometimes that nice voice will try to fight the mean voice. Don't fall into this, be a spectator. Notice it's happening, and then be nice to both—they're both looking out for you. No, unfortunately killing your demons or trying to smack them with a bat doesn't actually work.. just makes 'em more hurt💀.

I've said this multiple times, but interviews by healthygamergg have made such a difference in my mental health. Especially when I first found them. You can find them on Twitch and YouTube❤️

This is just general things that came to my mind.. Also, watch this if you're even thinking of attempting any of this.

This is just what's helped me personally, and maybe it'll help some of y'all too~

#tw: mental health #mental health #answered

[letskidnapsenpai]

Boobs, ass or thighs - students + villains version

Fandom - Boku no hero academia/My hero academy

Pairings - Bakugou x fem!reader, Kirishima x fem!reader, Kaminari x fem!reader, Iida x fem!reader, Tamaki x fem!reader, Shigaraki x fem!reader, Dabi x fem!rearer

Type - Headcanons

Warning - Smut, toxic relationship at Dabi and Shigaraki, implicit language

Author's note - So I've been thinking about this since the chubby girl HC and since y'all liked it that much, I'm here to deliver more smut 👀 Also bold of y'all to assume in not blushing and completely ashamed when I write and post this 😳

• Definitely loves boobs more

• He loves them in both sexual and non-sexual way

• He loves cupping them in his hands when he fucks you from behind, but he loves sleeping with head on your soft breasts too

• If you wear something more revealing, you might suddenly disappear into some janitors closet when Katuski sees you

• He'll definitely look at your boobs and he won't even try to hide it, but he'll be able to function normally

• He won't complain about you wearing it, because he loves your confidence and you look awesome in it, but he'll try to murder everybody who looks at your body possessive boy

• Ejirou is definitely an ass guy

• He's trying to be respectful towards you by not looking at your body to not make you uncomfortable, because he does want you to think that he likes you only for your body, but he can't help himself sometimes

• Daddy Kirishima loves spanking your ass or just groping it when you're sitting in his lap during heated make out session

• If you wear tight leggings or mini shorts, he'll start blushing like crazy while trying to not look at you that much

• He wouldn't want you to wear it because he doesn't like how other people look at you and he doesn't want you to get hurt or cat called by somebody, but he fully understands that you're your own person and he can't tell you what to do

• He loves all, but if he REALLY had to choose, after like and hour of thinking about it, he would pick boobs

• He wants big titty goth girlfriend or just any girlfriend, boy's desperate

• He'll spend all his time looking at your boobs, it doesn't matter what you're wearing, he just can't control it

• If you wear something revealing, he'll stop functioning - DENKI.EXE has stoped working

• He'll stare at your boobs, unable to keep conversation with your or others and he'll get instant boner

• He doesn't even care if others can see your body as long as he can see it, but if Mineta says something disrespectful about you, let's just say that he made grape boy into raisin

• Tenya loves your ass and he's ashamed for it

• He won't look at your ass when you're in public, because he thinks it's inappropriate, but the moment you're alone his hands will be on you

• He loves when you sit on his lap and he can touch and grope your ass when you're watching movies or something

• He loves touching and spanking your ass when you're riding him and he loves spanking your ass while he's taking you from behind

• If you wear something revealing, he'll start blushing and he'll rush to tell you it's highly inappropriate for you to wear such clothes and that as a class rep and your boyfriend he's asking you to change

• That doesn't mean you shouldn't wear it around👀 him when you're alone, just be ready to him not being able to focus on anything if you're walking around in mini shorts

• Hitoshi likes thighs

• They're just soo soft and he loves sleeping in your lap when you comb through his hair and tug on it slightly

• He'll watch your thighs all the time and he'll not be ashamed for it, he'll just smirk when you catch him

• He'll love when you wear tight highs, some short skirt and cat ears for him, he'll just smirk, patting his lap as a motion for you to sit there

• If you wear tight highs in public, he'll be really possible, keeping you in his lap all the time and when he can't, you two have to at least hold hands

• He'll be an asshole to everybody who looks at you, telling them to stop starting, that he knows that they want to fuck you, but he's the only one who can do that

• Tamaki loves your thighs soo much

• He loves sleeping in your lap or when you throw your leg over him when you sleep, he loves touching your thigh or just holding it when he falls asleep

• He loves when you sit on his face and he can stroke and touch your thighs however he wants while make you feel good or when he's between your legs when you're laying on your back and you squeeze your head with your thighs

• If you wear tights, skirt or shorts, he'll turn red the moment he sees you, pulling you into his lap and hiding his face in your neck

• He'll get boner the moment he sees your bare thighs, but he'll be to shy to ask you for help, if it's really bad, he'll pull your sleeve and try to point out his situation so you can take him into some private place and help him

• Tomura likes your ass

• He'll smack it everytime you go around him and he doesn't care about everybody seeing it, you're his and he can do whatever he wants with you

• He'll make you sit in his lap, straddling him during meetings so he can spank, grope and squeeze your ass when he's bored

• If you wear something revealing, he'll drag you to his room and fuck you the moment he notices you

• He won't let you wear it because he doesn't want others watching his toy, he'll call you slut for wanting others to see you and he'll be really harsh with you for it

• He loves your body, but boobs are his favourite, with ass the second

• He'll hug you from behind and cup your boobs or play with them, he doesn't care if it's in public or behind closed doors and he doesn't care if you like it or not, he wants to touch you so he will

• If you wear something revealing, he'll let you wear it so others can see what is his, but if you make him hard, you have to help him and he'll insult you for wearing it

• He doesn't care if somebody else is watching your body as long as they don't touch you, at least they see what a pretty doll he has

#bnha #bnha fanfiction #mha #boku no academia #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha kirishima #kirshima x reader #kirshima eijirou #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #denki kaminari #denki x reader #bnha denki #iida tenya #bnha tenya #tenya x reader #shinsou hitoshi #mha hitoshi #hitoshi x reader #tamaki x reader #mha tamaki #tamaki amajiki #bnha dabi #dabi x reader #shigaraki x reader #bnha shigaraki #shigaraki tomura #bnha smut #my hero academia smut #mha x reader

[thoushallnotfall]

God Bless the Children of the Beast - Part 14

Previous // Masterlist

Pairing: The Dirt!Tommy Lee x Reader

Word Count: 4.2k

Notes: *shows up 3 months late with a bottle of Jake* So...what's up?

So so so so SO sorry I just dropped of the planet there for months my guys; I swear I've had the first part of this started since like, the beginning of November, and it's just been sitting in my drafts collecting dust.

I went and reread the whole fic in prep for writing this and it was actually really fun? Like, I forgot everything the MC has gone through. (god what a rollercoaster) She and the boys have really been through it huh? They've grown so much; my babies. 🥺 I have felt so bad that this has just been sitting here unfinished; I never wanted to abandon it, and I am determined to finish this even if it kills me! I love this story so much, I have to see it through to the end.

This chapter has a lot of conversations without having dialogue which normally bugs me but it's already such a long chapter and I'm tired. Also, it's purely cheese and fluffy good feelings because I feel like we deserve that don't we? (And I mean y'all have been waiting forever; you deserve something nice.)

Warnings: None

1993

After Heather had kicked him out, Tommy moved into your guest room. He promised it wouldn’t be for long–a few weeks, maybe a month–and then he'd be out. You told him from the beginning he could stay as long as he wanted, but you knew he was ashamed of his current situation. He wanted to get a new house as soon as possible so he could pretend everything was fine. It wasn’t, of course; but the thought of you or anyone else pitying him absolutely killed Tommy, and you knew it.

Tommy was completely broken up about his divorce, and as much as he may be embarrassed about having to crash at someone else’s house, you could tell he also craved the company. If you were both home together–and you usually were–you began to notice Tommy gravitating to whatever part of the house you were in. Even if he was doing his own thing, he just wanted to be around you. You knew he didn’t want to be alone–alone with this thoughts, his feelings; thinking about why he was alone and replaying it all in his head. That’s why you were so insistent that he could stay; you didn’t want him to have to go through this alone.

At first he was adamant about finding a place as soon as possible, but after the first couple weeks he went out looking at houses less. Then, after another few weeks he just stopped looking altogether. You didn’t bring it up–knowing any mention of it would force him to start his search up again, even if that’s not really what he wanted–and the two of you silently acknowledged he would be staying for awhile, which is what you’d wanted from the start.

You knew Tommy enjoyed living with you, and even though it had been over a decade since the two of you had shared a space, you fell back into it with ease. Your house was much bigger than the shabby little apartment you once cohabitated in with the others, but with Tommy always trying to be in your orbit it felt just as close. 

You made a point to try and hang out with him even more than usual; which was easy with him living with you. You would have Nikki and Mick over and the four of you would hang out–the sobriety of the Dr. Feelgood tour was back as the boys worked on their next album, but it was always a good time when you all got together, even without the booze. Then, there were the nights the two of you spend alone. Usually, you’d end up watching a movie or playing Nintendo together, simply enjoying each other's company like you always did. 

Sometimes you would just hang out and talk; you’d talk about the past and how young and stupid you all had been. Then you’d say you couldn’t believe it’d been 12 years since the two of you had met.

You’d been thinking about that a lot since Tommy moved in–it had been 12 years since you’d met him and the others; 12 years since Motley Crue was formed. You’d think about all the shit you’d done, all the things you regretted, all the moments you’d die to relive. You'd wonder where your life would be now if you and Nikki hadn’t met Tommy that night in the diner.

You didn’t want to know where you'd be right now without him.

Tommy always had such a sweet look on his face when he talked about the past with you. It wasn’t like in rehab; when you had to drudge up the shit from your past that you hated and lay it all out in a row for everyone to see. It was softer than that; a gentle nostalgia about your lives together. Yeah, you did some stupid shit, but you did it together.

And so the days turned to weeks, and those past until Tommy had been living with you for nearly four months. You thought he might go through with leaving after the first month; then he got the divorce papers from Heather, and all the work you’d started to help put him back together was undone in an instant. Your heart ached seeing him so miserable, and you knew no matter how long it took you would help him get through this.

And he did improve, with time, and the longer he was with you the more you began to realize you didn’t want him to leave. You knew one day he would have to move out, but whether for his sake or for yours, you hoped that day wouldn’t come any time soon.  

—

December 25th, 1993

You look up at the green suburban home in front of you, with it's festive decorations placed meticulously around the expertly kept lawn, and you felt a sense of panic well up inside you. You knew this would be good for Tommy–and it had sounded like fun at first–but now that you were here you just felt wrong. Like you didn't belong–something that was clearly out of place in a world that was otherwise perfectly organized.

It was an old feeling, one you hadn't experienced in a long, long time; and you wondered why you were suddenly feeling it again now. You had been living in mansions and staying in ritzy hotels for years: suburbia should be nothing to you now. Yet here you were, palms sweating and stomach in knots, feeling like an outcast again for the first time in years.

You thought back to when you were younger; imagining the different world Tommy came from and how you used to think it somehow separated him from you. But now that you were here in person looking up at Tommy's childhood home, you knew it wasn't true–not anymore at least.

You and Tommy may have started out worlds apart, but you grew closer with each day you spent together–every stupid decision, every victory, every mistake, and every heartache along the way–the two of you moved closer and closer with every step you took until you ended up side by side.

He wasn't the sweet, naïve boy you first meet that night 12 years ago, just like you weren't that lonely, jaded girl. You'd both grown and changed–for better and for worse–and you'd done it together. You weren't from two separate worlds now; you'd made your own world, with Nikki, and Mick, and Vince. The five of you carved out a place for yourselves where you could all live together; where you made the rules and no one could judge you.

Maybe that's why you felt so wrong now; you were stepping back into Tommy's old world. This was his life before you–before Motley Crue–and it made you feel like you did when you were a teenager. Before Motley Crue you could never walk into a suburban neighborhood like this without people giving you looks or asking you what your business there was; they might even go so far as to call the cops on you.

But here you were; not a teenager looking to start trouble in suburbia, but an adult, invited for Christmas at your best friend's house–well, his parent's house anyway. Normally, you'd spend Christmas with Nikki and his family, but when Tommy had asked you to come home with him how could you say no? He needed you now, and admittedly when he'd asked you part of you had just really wanted to say yes.

After all, you liked Tommy's parents–the few times you'd met them they'd been so kind to you, always treating you with consideration and warmth, even if you felt like you didn't always deserve it. Then there was the fact that you didn't just invite anyone home with you for the holidays. You knew you were reaching–seeing what you wanted to see–but you were slowly finding it harder and harder to suppress your feelings for Tommy after these months living so close together, and even the little things were starting to look like signs to you.

So when he asked you to come with him all you could think about was how it looked. How this was something couples did: going home to meet the parents over the holidays. It was ridiculous and selfish; you were his best friend, you already knew his parents, it wasn't anything more than Tommy reaching out to you because this was his first Christmas without Heather in nearly seven years and he didn't want to go through it alone.

But still, you couldn't help but wish it was more.

—

You walk up to the house, a pile of presents balanced in your arms. Maybe you had gone a little overboard, but you couldn't help yourself; of course you wanted to get gifts for his parents, how could you not? Tommy looks over at you and laughs.

"Dude, you think you bought enough?" He asks, smirking at you.

"Shut up; you have no room to talk." You say, nodding at his own arms full of presents.

"Yeah, but they're my parents. You didn't have to get them anything." He replies.

"I know, but I wanted to." You say, adjusting the gifts in your arms as you feel your stomach doing somersaults the closer you got to the house.

What if they didn't like the presents? What if they didn't approve of Tommy living with you? What if they wanted him to come home?

You're worries were instantly washed away as soon as you got in the house. Tommy's dad had opened the door for you, and it wasn't even a minute before his mother was on you both; all smiles as she greeted you and told you how happy she was to have you. You could feel your cheeks warm as she doted on you, ushering you in and attempting to take the presents from you. You insist you can carry them, following Tommy into the living room to put them under the tree which was already surrounded by a sea of presents.

"Come on guys, I told you you didn't have to get us anything." Tommy said as he sat down his presents.

"Of course we did; how could we not get you presents on Christmas?" How mom replied, smiling at you both.

"You know your mother Tom; she loves giving presents. Better just to smile and accept them." His dad said, putting his arm around his wife. As you set your own stack of presents down, you saw at least a few presents with your name on them and smiled to yourself. You felt bad that Tommy's parents got you anything, but you couldn't help feeling secretly happy about it too.

"You really didn't have to get me anything." You say quietly.

"We wanted to; we were so happy when Tommy told us you were coming." His mother replied, smiling brightly at you. "Now, why don't we have some lunch? I'm sure you're both hungry from your trip."

She practically pushed the two of you into the dinning room. You sat next to Tommy as his mother dished out a nice, light lunch for all of you. You ate and chatted and any lingering fear about what his parents thought of your current situation was completely dispelled.

"We were so relieved when Tommy told us he was going to be staying with you." His mother says as she looks over at you from across the table. "We knew he'd be alright with you looking after him."

"Aw come on mom, do you have to say things like that?" Tommy groans, clearly embarrassed.

"You're mother's right Tom; with how well she's looked out for you and the band all these years, we couldn't help but feel relieved knowing you were in such good hands." His dad replies.

"Still, you don't have to say it like that." Tommy says, still pouting.

"I hope you've thanked y/n for all she's done for you–you're helping her out aren't you?" His mother asks, raising an eyebrow at her son.

"Ugh, yes mom." Tommy answers, and you can't help but laugh under your breath. You loved watching Tommy interact with his parents; despites being a grown man and an actual rockstar, they still treat him like he's a teenager. Of course, it was all done out of love; but it was still funny.

—

After you spent a little more time talking, the four of you move into the living room to open presents. You hadn't really been quite sure what to get them–you'd never bought anyone's parents presents before, and it's not like you knew them that well–so you tried to play it safe and just buy them practical things, or things Tommy told you they'd like. You got his father some nice tools, some cologne, and a nice watch. You got his mother some books, some nice perfume, and a gold bracelet. They both thanked you profusely, saying of course that you shouldn't have and that the gifts were far too expensive, but you insisted that it was fine. In return they got you a Greek cookbook and a few nice photo albums–both things you had mentioned to Tommy about wanting.

You and Tommy had agreed not to get each other anything this year; neither of you actually needed anything, and if you wanted something either of you could just buy it. Normally you would still have exchanged something, but with Tommy still living with you he was adamant that you not buy him anything; you were already giving him enough by letting him stay with you. You had wanted to protest, but you didn't want to push him either, so you just let it go.

—

You spend more time hanging out with Tommy and his parents, talking and joking and to your joy and amusement looking through photo albums, until it was already time for dinner. You all moved back into the dining room and his mother brought out the large dinner she had been working on. You offered to help, but she wouldn't have it; insisting guests should relax, not helping with the meal.

You did find yourself alone with her after the meal was through. Tommy and his father had gone into the living room, and you stayed behind to help her clean up. She hadn't wanted you to help, but you insisted, and she finally relented. While you were helping her wash dishes, she looked over at you and smiled.

"We are very grateful for how you've looked after Tommy." She says as she hands you a plate to dry.

"Oh, it's no problem; it's actually kind of nice having someone else in the house." You reply sheepishly, playing it off as you dry the plate and put it away.

"Not just these last few months–you've always been such a good friend to Tommy, always looking out for him and helping him. Who knows where he would be now without you." She insists. You feel your face flush as you keep your eyes on your task.

"It's really not that big of a deal–and Tommy's looked out for me too. He's been there for me more than anyone–even more than Nikki at times. I owe him a lot." You reply, glancing over at her. She's smiling warmly at you.

"You care about Tommy very much, don't you?" She made it sound like a statement rather than a question.

"Of course, he's my best friend." You answer. She gives you a knowing look, and you look away again.

"Don't worry; one day he will see what's most important to him." She says, her words were vague but the meaning was obvious to you. You didn't try to deny it; you just kept on drying dishes in silence, Tommy's mother still smiling to herself.

—

You stayed for a little longer until it began to get dark and the two of you decided you'd better leave. His parents gave you both hugs as you left–his mother even giving you a quick kiss on the cheek–before the two of you were back on the road, heading for home.

In the car you listened to the radio and talked about the day. Tommy was grateful you'd come, though he wouldn't say the real reason why. You knew he was ashamed of his divorce even now, and going to his parents without Heather was still hard for him. You didn't mind, and assured him you'd had a good time.

When you get back to LA it's late, but Tommy insists on going to grab some food. You're tired, but agree; somehow hungry even after the large dinner you'd had hours before. Tommy drives pretty far out of the way, and you wonder where he's taking you, until you're on the strip; parked in front of a familiar diner.

"Really Tommy?" You ask with a laugh. "Donny's? You couldn't have stopped at one of the twenty other diners on the way here?"

"Oh come on y/n, you know no one makes pancakes like they do at Donny's." He joked as you two head for the door. You walk in and see the place mostly empty; just a few drunks at the bar, and a young couple over in the corner.

"They're not that great; don't forget I used to work here–I've seen the innerworkings. It's nothing special." You reply, smiling as you take your seat in the once-familiar both, the waitress coming to take your orders soon after.

How many times had you and Nikki come here after shows before you met the others? How many times had the five of you come crawling in drunk after one of Montly Crue's early gigs? How many times had one of them come in to bug you for free food while you were working? You hadn't realized how nostalgic this place was; it had been years since you'd last been here, but it still held so many memories for you and the boys.

You met Tommy in this booth.

"Man, it's crazy how long it's been since we met here, you know?" Tommy was apparently thinking the same thing you were.

"Yeah, hard to believe it's been 12 years." You reply. "We've had a wild ride, huh?"

"Hell yeah we have–you know sometimes I can't believe we actually made it this far." He answers with a smile. "I mean shit; between the five of us I don't know how at least one of us isn't dead or in prison."

"Not for lacking of trying, that's for sure." You joke, and Tommy laughs light-heartedly, before looking back at you quietly. The look in his eyes was one of admiration and affection, and it took you a little off guard.

"You know we never would have made it without you." He says, not a single ounce of sarcasm in his voice. You were taken aback by the sudden sincerity he was showing.

"Oh come on, don't start getting all weird and sentimental on me." You joke, trying to change the tone. You couldn't handle Tommy being like this with you–it was too much of a reminder of what you really wanted your relationship to be, and you didn't want any reason to start feeling false hope. "If all of us hadn't been there together it wouldn't have worked." Tommy shook his head.

"That's not what I mean. You've always been there for us–for me–like no one else has. I don't know how many times you saved me from doing something crazy or stupid, or how many times you forgave me for fucking things up or after I was a total asshole. Even now you're helping me, even when I don't know if I deserve it." He looked down, and you felt your heart ache for him. You reach out and grab his hand that was resting on the table, and he looks over at you.

"Oh Tommy, of course you do. Just because you made a mistake doesn't mean you don't deserve help." You squeeze his hand in yours gently. "I'm your best friend Tommy, even if I don't agree with what you did of course I'm still going to help you–no matter what." Tommy was quiet for a while, and before you had the chance to think of something to break the silence, the waitress brought your food over. You quickly thanked her before looking back at Tommy.

"You know the whole time I was with Heather, I felt like something was missing?" He suddenly says, his voice quiet. You feel your heart nearly stop. "She was my dream girl, the one I'd been waiting for; but it always felt like there was supposed to be something else. Something more. I don't know how to explain it–it just felt off. I thought getting married would be the missing piece, but it wasn't." He sighed, looking down at his food. You stayed still, eyes wide as you looked at him silently. In all these months he hadn't brought up his relationship with Heather once, and you didn't want to interrupt his one chance to let it all out.

"I loved Heather, but I cheated on her anyway because I thought maybe that would fill that missing part of me, but it didn't. I was just an asshole who cheated on his wife. I can't even say I'm surprised I got caught; I'm more surprised it didn't happen sooner. When she left me I was a wreck–I thought I'd fucked up the one good thing I had going for me." He looked up at you. "But now, I think I'm finally realizing maybe it was for the best; like maybe I felt like something was missing because Heather just wasn't the one, you know?" You stare back at him, unsure of what to say. He was saying everything you'd always wanted to hear, but you didn't want to make this about your feelings. And really, what could you even say after that?

"Sorry dude, I brought the whole mood down, huh?" He says at last, breaking the silence with a small laugh. "Just forget it; we should eat before our food gets cold."

The two of you eat in silence, unsure of what to say after that. You wanted to be supportive, to tell him that he was right and that he would find love again, but you were still reeling from the sudden revelation you just couldn't bring yourself to say it. You wanted to be a good friend like you always had been, by being supportive; but how could you support him finding a new love when it was so against your own feelings?

You wanted him to be happy, but now more than ever that selfish voice inside you screamed that you wanted him to be happy with you.

—

You mostly ate in silence until Tommy changed the subject and you were both back to reminiscing again. You were calmed down and mostly feeling yourself again by the time the food was finished, when Tommy looked over at you.

"Oh right! I almost forgot there's something I want to give you." He says, moving to grab his discarded jacked off the seat of the booth.

"What? I thought you said no Christmas gifts." You say, a little dismayed. "I didn't get you anything because you seemed so serious about it." He laughs as he pats the jacket pockets down, looking for something.

"I know I know, but I only said that because you've already done so much for me. If you feel bad about it being a Christmas present, maybe you can think of it as a 'thanks for taking my sorry ass in' present instead." He says as he pulls out a small black box. Your heart skips a beat as he hands it to you.

It's not a ring, obviously it's not a ring–stop being ridiculous.

You pull back the hinged lid and see a beautiful diamond necklace sitting on the black velvet lining.

"Oh Tommy, you really didn't have to–"

"I know, but I wanted to." He replies, smiling at you. "Here, let me help you." He grabs the box from your hand as he stands, moving over to sit next to you in the booth. You feel your heart racing as you turn your back to him, pulling your hair to the side as he slides the necklace around your neck. You have to stop yourself from shivering as his fingers brush against the back of your neck, quickly hooking the clasp together. You turn back around to face him, looking down at the necklace before looking up at him. He's still sitting so close you have to crane your neck to see his face.

"It's beautiful Tommy, thank you." You say, smiling up at him. You expect him to move back to his seat, or at least scoot back a little, but he just stays where he is, staring down at you. You stare back, afraid to move as you feel your face flush with heat; your heart pounding so loudly in your chest you're sure he must be able to hear it.

Before you know what's happening, Tommy moves one hand up, cupping your cheek as he leans down and kisses you.

#tommy lee x reader #the dirt!tommy lee x reader #mgk!tommy lee x reader #the dirt x reader #the dirt #Tommy Lee

[kuronanox]

A Women’s Determination- William Vangeance

(Author note: I know I've been gone for so long, I'm very sorry. It's hard to keep motivation on my writing because I lack a bit but I enjoy every piece I've written! So sorry that request are coming extremely slow. I really want to fulfill them for y'all though!)

(Your Name) was sweating in her seat as her captain rope hugged her body a little uncomfortable today. She shifted around in her seat waiting for the meeting to start. She was a confident and powerful women but, when it came to her love life it was basically nonexistent. Many men have tried to pursue her but each time she refused them.

Her heart was elsewhere to someone who was close yet far to reach. William Vangeance a mysterious man yet kind and loving to his members. His loyalty and dedication to the Clover kingdom made (Your Name) admire him for his hard work.

"Hello (Your Name), are you feeling well?" William ask with concern in his eyes as he took his seat next to her. She swallowed the lump in her throat and cleared her throat giving him a smile. "I'm fine, it's a bit hot right now."

"It's winter outside." Yami states as she blushes and kicked his leg under the table. "Shut up you stink!"

William lightly chuckles and hands her a handkerchief he had on him. "You can use this."

With embarrassment (Your Name) thanked him before giving Yami a dirty look.

"I hope Charlotte doesn't think I'm flirting with Yami, god forbid."

As the meeting started she couldn't help but stare slightly back at William. He was listening to Julius about recent news and what not about the kingdom. Williams eyes met hers as he gave her a small smile and turn back to the meeting. She smiled back slightly.

Once the meeting ended everyone took their leave as (Your Name) followed William. "Thank you for your handkerchief."

"It's okay, keep it. It's better use with you."

Scratching the back of her hair she looks down with a flush. Looking back at him she had a boost of confidence to just kiss and confess to him right there. "William."

"Yes (Your Name)"

"Uhh thank you, really I appreciate it." Her smile slowly faded as he smiled back and took his leave again. She sighed, William was so mysterious and hard to open up.

Truthfully the only reason she always held back from telling William how she felt was because she knew he always kindly rejected everyone.

(Your Name) knew his secret, the reason he wore his mask. His scars and the insecurity that came with it. That didn't change the way she felt for him though. She had accidentally stumbled across William privately after coming back from training some squad members. He was resting and happen to have his mask off.

It was a surreal moment for the both of them when they locked eyes. Hers were filled with love and acceptance but William was fear as he quickly put his mask on.

He shared very few words to her after the incident probably because he was scared she would viewed him as ugly and different.

William was sadden to know that she saw his real face, the only person he really cared that saw. To him (Your Name) was a light he saw when things were dark.

William made it back to the base and closed himself in his room, he had feelings for her. He refused to accept it.

"How can she truly love a ugly monster like me?"

He sighed and retired for the night, William thought someone as strong and powerful as her should be with someone with confidence in how they were and not hide behind a mask.

As he laid in bed he couldn't help but smile to himself replaying her image of today in his head. It was as close he was going to be with her. He was confident she deserved someone better.

"Just tell him." Sol pushes (Your Name) on the shoulder as she grimaced.

"What are we talking about?" Charlotte asks as she walks in on the two sitting by a fire place.

"(Your Name) here likes Captain William and I'm trying to convince her she has nothing to lose!" Sol cheers as (Your Name) hangs her head in shame wanting to punch the soul out of sol.

"I could lose a lot, me personally!" She screams at Sol.

"I thought she had a crush on Yami! I swore I saw them flirting at the meeting!" Charlotte sighs in relief it wasn't the case and it was the masked man she really liked.

"Who cares about men anyways, right ne-san!"

"Yes, we don't need men. Women basically do all the work in the world."

(Your Name) slightly cringed at the pair as she falls onto the floor with a thud, what was she going to do.

After leaving their base she walked back towards home, she wanted William and was determined to show it! Even if he thought different.

With a wicked smile on her face she crashed into a shoulder as she looked up with a furious expression. "You could have just moved if you saw me walking!" She screamed and then covered her mouth from embarrassment.

"I didn't take you to be so aggressive Captain (Your Name)." William lightly chuckles as his beautiful pearly whites showed.

Lost for words she looked away and denied it was her fault.

"I-" she started to say as he kept his calm smile and listened to her talk.

"You don't dislike me for seeing your face?" (Your Name) starts as he got confused to why he would hate such a precious soul just as hers.

"Why would I hate you?"

"I don't know, you wear a mask for a reason right? You don't want people to know. I thought you would have avoided me."

William was speechless for a second, she really was so.....cute he thought. He wanted to laugh for her silliness but wouldn't it be the roles reversed.

"I would never, if anything I shouldn't be ashamed but I came to terms with how it is." He tells her as (Your Name) pulls her hands behind her back and sadly smiles.

"William, you know I like you without the mask right?"

She was determine to let him know her feelings even if he didn't return them. At least he knew she accepted him.

"...."

Without any words coming from him she nodded her head and walked forward. (Your Name) knew he wouldn't accept it.

"(Your Name)." William calls out as she turned her head to see he had removed his mask. "You don't really mean what you said." He tries to convince her as she knitted her brows.

"Last time I checked you weren't (Your Name), now you can't go telling me how I feel." She argued with William as his mouth hung a little open lost for words.

"You really are one aggressive women." He scoffs at himself for persuading (Your Name) not to like him because he was insecure. "You really are the one for me." He smiles as she widen her eyes.

"YOU CANT JUST SAY IT THAT EASILY WHEN IT TOOK ALL MY GUT TO CONFESS TO YOU SIR!" She screams and punched him in the chest slightly as he warmly embraced her shyness now.

"But that's what makes you different, would anyone confess even if they saw the scars?"

She looked up to him and smiles into his eyes. "No, I guess I'm one persistent women."

"Indeed." William agrees as it became silent between them.

She awkwardly coughs and side eye him a few times trying to make conversation.

"I never thought to take you as a shy women."

"IM NOT!" She screams as William walked off offering her to follow him.

They walked under the moonlight as she followed side by side with him, not knowing the future that held between the two they were just happy knowing they wanted each other from this moment on.

#black clover #black clover oneshots #black clover x reader #yuki tabata #black clover oneshot #black clover images #william vangeance #black clover william

[janiedean]

I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.

me: reads this ask

me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but

okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.

disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years

in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck

when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show

now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it

that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big

now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;

I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion

now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff

this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun

anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened

god j*nerys happened

aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN

and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah

this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no

(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)

I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo

there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I

there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried

tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*

so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #anonymous #ask post #anti-jonsa #anti jonsa #anti-jonerys #anti jonerys #both of them for equality