#i'm not going to ruin this for myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

junicai · 2 years

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in light of all the happenings occurring in the usa atm, i'd like to remind my followers that i am PRO-CHOICE, and i am horrified at the overturning of roevwade.

if you are pro-life, please kindly take yourself elsewhere. your misogynistic views are not welcome here. i am in full support of women and people with uteruses having Complete Bodily Autonomy and the second roevwade was overturned, they were reduced to something less than.

these are terrifying times, traumatic times, and this will not be the end. women's rights are under attack.

#*cass.talks #so any prolifers following me #leave ✨#because i've spent the last 8 years arguing with prolifers in ireland after the abortion referendum #and i'm not doing it on this platform #i'm not going to ruin this for myself #my inbox is always open to people needing a friend #i will provide you with as much assistance as i can possibly manage you have my word #stay safe x

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egophiliac · 4 months

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happy new year Ego!!! Just wanted to let you know that I absolutely adore your twst fanart and the tags are just an absolute pleasure to read! You are my greatest inspiration for my personal twst art and I just wanted to thank you for your wonderful masterpieces <333 if possible, may I ask what are some of your headcanons for the diasomnia family? If not for diasomnia then any other characters are fine as well!

thank you, and happy new year! 💚💜💚 that is amazing to hear; it's always a little bewildering but super flattering that other people like my silly little doodles so much!

I don't think I really have any really solid headcanons and also canon keeps validating me left and right (FLUFFY DOMESTIC DIAFAM IS REAL). mostly just kind of...impressions and general thoughts, if that makes sense! lately though I've been kind of obsessed with thinking about Lilia's hair, and specifically when/why he ended up cutting it. (l-look, we're bouncing around the timeline and I gotta make decisions about these things when I draw, it's relevant) (I mean I would probably be weirdly fixated on this anyway, but.)

I think I've settled on the idea that he kept it long until he went to NRC, partly because 1) I like drawing The Ponytail, and 2) I think he thought of NRC as a chance to reinvent himself a bit! he gets to go and be a wacky carefree teenager for a few years and have fun! (officially he's there to keep an eye on Son #1, but how much trouble could he get into, really.) so he gave himself a Cool Teen Haircut to go with his fresh new Cool Teen Persona!

also maybe he had some reflection on his hair's troubled past with three kids...

...and had to weigh his vanity versus the fact that he was going off to be around hundreds of kids on a daily basis, and. the choice suddenly seemed obvious.

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers #this is my blog and i'm going to write a million words about lilia and you can't stop me #but anyway i do genuinely get the impression that he's using Pretending to Be a Teenager as a chance to be even sillier than usual #he's a very silly man he's just being EXTRA silly #supported by his recent birthday card where he says he was specifically trying to cast himself as an adorable little brother-type #because he wanted the other students to give him free shit and save him seats and things like that #it worked for about a week before he turned out to be way too good at stuff and everyone just kind of ended up in awe of him instead #and he was like DANGIT. I'VE RUINED IT FOR MYSELF.#(then he and epel went on to talk about their hypothetical vtubersonas because the birthday cards are INSANE but anyway)#i'm bad at headcanons :( sorry!#unless it's dumb things like...what pokemon they would have or whatever #(malleus would have some kind of special fancy-colored dragapult) (but i digress)#i have a hard time putting things into words. just know that i love the grampa bat and his weird kids very much.#my brain is also still kind of fried from the last couple of weeks #i am however starting 2024 off the way i intend to continue it: in deep contemplation of anime hair #(sorry if these look weirdly aliased) (i realized about 3/4 of the way through i was using the wrong brush and i didn't want to restart :U)

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months

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"See you tomorrow"

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]

#better drawn mdzs #MDZS Disco Elysium AU #mdzs au #Lan wangji #wei wuxian #yiling laozu #Happy Belated Halloween!#digital art #Thank you all for your patience as I drove myself into a madness only known by those lost at seas alone.#I put a lot of time into this one! It's not perfect but I am very happy with it + I am so happy to put down the tablet pen.#Digital art has some nice features but I'm sticking with traditional! I need a month to recover from the 2+ weeks of torture.#Okay lets talk about the AU and the comic now #Disco elysium has some of the best existential-horror-dream sequences I have ever seen.#The dialogue here is heavily inspired by The Final Dream - A scene I'd love to talk about more were it not so heavy with spoilers.#My AU is a lot more complex than a simple character swap but I really felt like LWJ + YLLZ fit this scene.#The final dream is about being unable to move on from a lost love. From something You made holy. From something You ruined.#It is about realizing that no matter how smart you are or what you offer or how you try to change -#You will never be able to turn back time. You will never ever be able to fix what is broken. That you also have been broken for a long time #You are a fuck-up who worships the nail covered ground of someone who did not want to be holy. And even though it hurts-#You cannot let this nightmare go. The pain keeps the love close. It is worse to forget. You promised to remember.#WWX died thinking LWJ disliked him. LWJ lost someone he thought was revolted by his love.

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rebouks · 26 days

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Previous // Next

Ivan: If y'don't get that thing outta my face I'mma smash the fuck outta yours. Oscar: C'monnn you haven't eaten all day. Ivan: I ain't fuckin' hungry!

#ts4 #sims 4 #simblr #ts4 story #sims story #forever in between #fib #oscar finch #ivan harper #sdkjdkjs ivan's SO salty atp n oscar's just like..#A DOUGHNUT WILL FIX IT #✨🍩✨#worst road trip partner ever #well.. for some people lmao #i'd personally love to ruin my ears. sleep. eat doughnuts and vape incessantly on a road trip 🤷‍♀️#ALSO.. rebouks map lore ig?#but i like to imagine all the bay is spread out along the coast like the bay copperdale evergreen harbor and san sequoia etc #with the city n shit off to the left #n going up into the forests behind the bay like moonwood mill n granite falls etc #then up into the ridges like strangerville/chestnut ridge #n dropping down on the other side into like oasis springs #maybe del sol is kinda off that way too but more to the left #prolly doesn't make much sense without a map tho 🤔#but i'm lazy n don't like shoehorning myself into a corner with that shit cos it usually barely matters n can change with new worlds etc #NEWAY #ted talk over #✌

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jazzkrebber · 6 months

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I'm gonna miss them

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ride-a-dromedary · 7 months

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Again I know it's supposed to be a haha reference to the turns into a bear when he's too aroused thing, but in again refusing to brush just over the surface of this character: "I must be careful or I'll lose run of myself again. An Archdruid should show *some* restraint." comes across to me as more melancholy than perhaps intended when a. You take it into consideration that several lines imply that Halsin has issues with self control and self servitude, and presenting an "acceptable" version of himself as an outwards facing authority figure, to the point where he brushes over his own feelings, or pushes things that he wants down in the effort to reflect better what others want from him.

And b. Remember that Halsin was essentially just an apprentice when he was forcibly situationally promoted to Archdruid - he wasn't taught *how* to be an Archdruid or trained for it, or mentored; he was thrust into it because they didn't have any other choice. But they needed someone, so he stepped up. Halsin has spent the last century studying and learning things on the fly or through trial and error, and in a position of leadership like that, he is aware that every failure to uphold that mask *counts* and others *are* very much affected. How many times has he muttered that same mantra? Or heard it thrown around? An Archdruid not having control over their own magic is a big deal. Even when he is no longer Archdruid, he still grumbles it to himself. He's been at it over a century and he *still* doesn't feel like he's gotten it right. Even when he is in a place of progression, of trying to gain hold of himself again, those wisps of failure and self doubt still creep into everything. And that's sad to me.

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #haha funny line in response to saucy line that man is about to go feral ooh se- HEY TRAUMA #it's like a med student being promoted to the head of emergency #or an admin assistant suddenly being put in a ceo role #like i know it's a meme scene!! but halsin sounds *humilated* when he accidentally wildshapes during his romance scene #he sounds flustered and embarrassed and is so quickly launching off excuses with a tone that indicates *he thinks it's over*#like he fucked up he fucked this up just when he was *starting* to come into himself again and it never stops #i keep thinking of that one lyric from big thief 'i can't find surrender/and i can't keep control'#and again i'm reading too deep into it but halsin's struggle with failure really is embedded here you just have to...like listen to him #Even when he *says* that there's little point in denying oneself #he does it literally all the time - he did it for a *century*#and i'm not saying he doesn't have fun or not enjoy things but he cuts himself off so early at the root #or buries himself so thoroughly in a self indulgence until it wrecks him and neither of these things are healthy #note that he says as long as others aren't affected - he doesn't say as long as i'm not affecting *myself*#anyway i'm unwell #maybe i was never meant to be archdruid - you weren't! you were meant to protect nature's spirit and roam with the wilds #and yet he still did the best he could and people *admire* him and followed him but he may never come to see it that way #you ruined a perfectly good wood elf - look it's got trauma and anxiety (and larian turned him into a meme and i won't forgive them)

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faofinn · 2 months

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A question.

We're in a situation where there is no more Fao and Finn.

Shiv has left, taking Fao and Ely (epoch's, but too much to talk to both of us), and leaving all our fics frozen still.

As mentioned previously, you can find shiv on ao3, but all of my work has only ever been on here.

Would people be interested in a rewritten situation where the Daniels etc remain (but without Fao obv)? Fao left in prev works but removed from future? Leaving the blog frozen with no changes or additions? Completely new characters on a new blog that has zero to do with the boys?

If anyone has any tips etc, they'd be appreciated.

#ev posts #faofinn breakup #this isn't how i expectedly the blog to go ngl #but i also didn't expect to be split up either tbh #we've got five years of writing every single day behind us #but now I'm not allowed to even message every day #hell even any week #shout out to mental illness for ruining my life again #ironically enough it wasn’t my depression that broke the straw #but i did try and off myself the same day shiv broke up with me lmao #and not a week has gone by without a tragedy #I've had too many deaths in the family #and three prealerts #two resus stays #and another three admissions #and not one of them was for my bloody mental health #it's literally a broken heart #they've actually genuinely considered it and it blows my tiny medical mind.

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maburito · 1 month

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I've been stuck on a level in Metroid Fusion for 2 days but I'm being so brave about it and not looking up the solution

#dksoxksod #it's not like #anti solution and anti guide at lal #it's just that since i kept doing that while playing Legend of Zelda games i realized how much it ruined it for me #like man the satisfaction and the pleasure of discovering the solution by yourself!!!#but also i'm getting frustrated akdkzndldk #like i'm getting so frustrated coz it feels like it shouldn't be this hard but UUGH #but like everytime i feel compelled to look it up i just go nO!#no peeking!#mwlxpslxos #it'll take me longer but!! i want the dopamine!! from finding it out by myself!!#Metroid Fusion #Mabu plays Metroid

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ricoka · 1 month

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Who knows how long but I am at this very second so happy with this spread 🥹❤️

References: left: [x], right [x]

#my art #the one on the left is based of an image from Pinterest - i doubt this will get more than one like (if that)#so I'm not going to go find it right now #and the one on the right is inspired by van goghs the pink peach tree and a picture I took myself #ruined my eyes on that one tonight but I'm happy with how it turned out #looking at it here i do realise that i need to finish filling in her left (my right) eyebrow oops

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connectionterminated13 · 5 months

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Every FnAF game Actual plot be like:

British boy fights off small scared children for less than minimum wage

Guy fights off more small scared children and loses frontal lobe to fox

British boy fights off evil British dad In his deadly fur suit and then commits an arson

Small scared child fights off giant murder machines with all of the teeth in his bedroom ourgatory and then fuck off to be a spooky ghost

British boy goes to save British sister and then gets his British insides removed and becomes less British and more spaghetti

British boy and angry old man scam a bunch of robots into being burned alive

20 year old woman fights off fake murder robots which are Based on real eventstm , Gets possessed by British rabbit man who is now his fursuit

Small child beats the shit out of a bunch of robots with the help of new robot dad

Small nice girl goes to save violent child from the last game fails miserably and gets attacked by giant walking retcon

#fnaf #I'm not explaining myself I'm too tired #Can't go to sleep so now you get this #fnaf 1 #fnaf 2 #fnaf 3 #fnaf 4 #fnaf sister location #pizza simulator #help wanted #fnaf security breach #fnaf ruin

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ef-1 · 3 months

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girlhood

#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day #like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again #and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her #I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her #and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again #“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her #growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain #and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when #people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it #but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it 😍#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook”#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one #and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?”#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her #lol!!!!!!!!!

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grippysockassbitch · 1 year

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Saw someone who followed me simping so hard for antipsychotic medication that they went as far as to say that questioning or doubting whether you want to be on them counts as a delusion, and so I blocked them lol

We support non-medicated schizophrenics here, Sir

Everybody gets to choose their own paths of treatment and recovery, just bc you have a psychotic disorder instead of depression or anxiety doesn't mean you have less autonomy or choice in how you want to manage your symptoms. We can make our own medical decisions, idc if everyone in the world has been preprogrammed to think a schizophrenic person off their meds is the worst thing in the world and they must not be thinking reasonably - we are capable of making our own medical decisions and yes we do have rational concerns and valid justifications.

#im not saying everyone should go off their meds #im saying that if you love your meds and your life wouldn't be the same without them then that's so awesome #but people who are unhappy or uncomfortable while they're on them should be able to choose not to take them #for every other disorder they have a whole toolbox of ways to approach managing and living alongside it's symptoms #but with psychotics disorders all the doors are closed and the only one made available to you is meds #even though that's not the only one that works or will help improve things #i haven't been on antipsychotics in like 3 years and fellas I'm doing fine #i have schizophrenia so my psychosis is not intermittent and my symptoms aren't only sometimes #and I don't take the meds bc they ruined my life and it just become a medical choice I could not justify for myself anymore #we are not going to shit on non med psychotics #not on this page #actuallypsychotic

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thevoidstaredback · 3 days

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I'mma rant for a second.

Someone please validate me.

I think I'm beyond justified when I say that no one listens to me.

This show (Come From Away) is running for three days. I've had the five shifts (4 on the weekend, 1 Friday) for three weeks. Counting my conversation with my parents a few minutes ago, I have explained what this show is, where I am, what it's about, and the history behind it 23 times.

6 times to my mom

4 times to my twin

2 times my older sister

3 times to my dad

8 times to my grandparents

What the actual duck does a girl have to do to get someone to listen to her?

All I'm asking is that people make an actual effort to remember what I tell them, especially when I talk about something I love.

My coworkers (4 of them) have asked what I know about it, and they all remember the basics of what I told them. They even listened to the soundtrack like I recommended!!

My sister won't even take ten minutes to listen to two songs with me. My mom doesn't even remember what the first song is called (I've told her 5 times now). I know for a fact that none of my family will listen to the music on their own.

I just want to share what I'm passionate about. I want others I know to share in the joy I find in this show and others.

And, y'know? I keep finding that this is a reoccurring problem. I can't bring it up to anyone, though, because they all tell me that I'm overthinking it or looking too much into it or seeing things that aren't actually there.

Humans are designed to pick out patterns in everything. We pick them out and we create them.

I see a pattern, I point it out, and I get told there's nothing there.

Either I'm gaslighting myself or everyone else is gaslighting me.

Someone please validate me. Please tell me I'm not crazy. Please put a name to these feelings because I'm going to shatter if someone tells me one more goddamn fucking time that I'm seeing a pattern where there isn't one.

I would cry like I want to, but that would ruin my make up. I have another shift in about 2.5 hours, and I don't have my makeup back with me, so that's a no go.

I'm gonna go read. Thanks for listening

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s4pphoiduser · 6 months

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he kept that trenchcoat in the trunk of his car btw. if you even care. he was angry at cas and what he did and how things ended and all the facts pointed to cas being dead but he still carried it around, exactly the way it was when he and cas were last together, not a thread out of place, and he carried it around, waiting and hoping. he was angry and sad and he longed to see cas again. cas would say he was sorry and he'd give that trenchcoat back and they'd both go quiet as cas realizes and digests what just happened. and what just happened would be an act of i forgive you, of course i forgive you, will you come back now? when will you come back?

#supernatural #deancas #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #that genuinely ruined me #s7 is my fav for just. so so so many reasons #i'm gonna find a way to redeem myself to you. i mean it dean.#THAT JUST......#wow how do i live now. it's been years and i'm still stuck on this. 6x20 7x01 they all fuck me up GOOD #cas yelling Don't defend me!#and also cas saying 'we didn't part friends.' and dean going without a speck of hesitation 'SO WHAT!'#so what if we didnt part friends! so what if you fucked up! i've fucked up too and you've forgiven me for it! so what! i just want you back!#wow....

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radmista · 8 days

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Sowing seeds of discontent and disharmony by hanging up on my parents birthday phone call the second my mom asked if I gained weight. Hope that sits badly on their minds while they think about how that's the first call I've engaged with them in 2 months and it was for the dogs birthday. Dad scrambling to text me for my mom that she didn't mean it. Like fuck I told her I've been having a rough month and day. She couldn't keep it to herself that badly. Fucks sake

#was already not in a great place mentally but i entertained the call and was actually feeling okay talking to them giving them an update #she just hits me with that. and I'm not normally sensitive about my weight even when my mom harped on me for gaining some a few years back #i genuinely normally don't care bc I'm happy with myself. but i know ive lost weight because I've been on icu and we don't have time to eat #im so fucking mad and im even more mad I'm crying about it #bc what the fuck #i was actually feeling like momentarily safe talking to them and being vulnerable about working on my next life stages #and she just ruined the call. i wanted to talk to my mom and dad more. i do miss talking to them about some things.#i was happy to get to see my family all together even if it was for the dogs birthday. and people were smiling and shit #and ik theyre gonna say i ruined it by being sensitive but jfc #it was literally the 2nd thing my mom said to me on the call after we sang happy birthday #why couldn't she just shut up. why couldn't she have said anything else. why did i let it bother me so much i hung up #I'm just fucking tired and sad and now feeling even lonlier than ever #i just wanted a nice moment with my family god fucking damn is that too hard to ask for #and im even more angry and sad now that i cant call them back bc my mom will get on me about smth else we were previously talking about #that phone call was supposed to be a neutral zone just for the birthday song. and i was going to ride it out but fucking hell #why didnt i just put up with it so i could have talked to my family #and no calling them back isnt an option. they haven't apologized and it would be an un neutral call #which gives them space to harass me about work and shit

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oveliagirlhaditright · 5 months

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Things that sillily make me happy: the fact that in the official Buffy chess set they released, Buffy and Angel are queen and king chess pieces.

And, I mean, it just makes sense that they would do this, of course. As it looks like this set was based on early season two, as Spike and Drusilla are the king and queen pieces for black.

But Buffy and Angel being king and queen pieces works so well, since they're paired together, of course. And equal to each other... and a battle couple. And more than anything, this is great because the queen's the most powerful piece on the board and Buffy's the most powerful character in the series, of course. And her being more powerful than Angel just tracks. Because she canonically is. And this makes me think of the many times where she saved him and he was the damsel.

Anyway...

#buffy the vampire slayer #bangel #i was looking at this set on ebay again. in thinking about christmas gifts for people #also i found out that there are three buffy board games. four if you you want to count that the unmatched buffy set that doesn't fully coun #but meh #i had thought there were three when i was browsing lately but now i know for sure. there's also an ats one. so if you want to count that #and not see angel as its own thing there are actually four #still bummed. though. that the ats expansion of the one buffy game got canceled on account of covid:( it sounded so cool #i'm also not counting the buffy chess set as a game: i'm meaning board games here. if you want to count the buffy chess set then #there's even more #basically (not counting the chess set) it looks like there was this one buffy game and then that game did a spinoff angel game #then after that (i think) there was a legendary version of buffy (legendary is a game series oc)#then after that there was a new buffy game that got an expansion set and then was going to have one more expansion set in the form of ats #but covid sadly ruined that plan:(#and then there's a game called 'unmatched' and there's a set you can get of that that adds buffy characters to the game. but the game itsel #isn't a buffy game #though don't quote me on this... (because i have not played the game) if you only have the buffy unmatched set perhaps it would just be a #buffy game. but it's not set out to be a buffy game or anything like that #i do know two people who have played the buffy unmatched set and really enjoyed it #me myself i've played the third buffy game i listed here (the one with one expansion and was supposed to have an angel one) and it was fun:

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